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dingoat · 1 year

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ANYWAY SO HAVE SOME KISS ASKS: 4. where it hurts (Crow/13), 17. to distract (5/13), 36. to give up control (Ulfran/13), 21. on a place of insecurity (Ahuska/Blakk). 41. because the world is saved (Ahuska/13) 8)

HERE YOU GO. FIVE WHOLE different flavours of kisses, all set at various points in various futures (mostly KOTFE era, but I'd like to hope Ahuska/Blakk get to their point somewhat sooner and the final piece is way way off in who-knows-when land) which means their canon status is open for re-interpretations if the times ever come. >.> Crow/13 is riddled with angst but kind of sweet about it, 5/13 gets really grim so proceed with caution if you'd rather not read even implied thoughts of life taking, Ulfran/13 is angsty but just a teeny bit saucy about it maybe, Ahuska/Blakk is soft soft soft fluffy angst, and Ahuska/13 get to actually enjoy themselves a bit, I think. I have not done a lick of proof-reading so apologies if anything is clunky. NO RAGRETS

4. where it hurts (Crow/13)

They looked at him differently now, he knew it. Almost, Crow wished for the intuition that seemed to come so easily to Ulfran, that seemed like breathing for Ahuska, to help clue him in to how they felt. Five was near impossible to read, and Crow couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with the void that still burned inside him, that had spent five long years in carbonite taking advantage of the fact that Five could not truly live; could not react, could not see or touch or taste or feel. Sometimes, Crow thought he could glimpse it as cracks working their way across the entire surface of Five’s body, flashes of unnatural violet spilling through and threatening to claim more of the galaxy with emptiness. “You’re worried about him.” Crow didn’t startle when Thirteen spoke; he’d sensed the man’s approach, and his heart ached to know the pain he was in. Perhaps it was because he was better with physical things; with ships and blasters and speed and light and parts; but pain was much easier for him to sense than other emotion. “So are you,” Crow replied, shuffling over where he sat watching Five in yet another long suffering discussion with Lana. Always, they wanted something from him. If not Lana, then Koth, then Senya, and now even Theron-kriffing-Shan was here, as though the mess he’d made on Ziost had never happened. “Do you think he appreciates how much they’re asking of him?” “I think he plays the role well,” Thirteen murmured, squinting out at the man who had once been called Watcher, who still was the Watcher in their hearts. “But it’s just a role?” Thirteen didn’t respond, as he continued to stare, and Crow felt the pain surging through him like a vibration, a mirror of sensation that he could sense the shape of without feeling for himself. “Thirteen,” he said quietly, reaching to take his chin, to turn his head and claim his focus.

He saw the way Thirteen sighed, the way his body softened and gave in to his touch. The look in his eyes that seemed to shimmer between awed, lost, angry and deeply troubled. Crow wished he knew where each expression stemmed from, wished he knew what to say to ease the pain, to coax Thirteen to open up and share some of his burden.

But five long years of turmoil and despair, of discovering parts of himself he’d tried so hard to ignore, had not taught Crow anything about how to dismantle the protective wall Thirteen built around himself specifically to keep his own personal despair contained. All he knew was what time had never needed to teach him, what he’d never needed Ulfran’s instruction in, what no knowledge of the Force had enhanced.

He knew how to give, and what he gave Thirteen was all his attention, his whole heart, his whole self. He felt the pain that shuddered through Thirteen, and placed a hand across his heart, where that pain twisted and tore. He slid his other hand to Thirteen’s cheek, pulling him in closer, feeling the throbbing ache of a tormented mind. And that’s where he started, pressing his lips to Thirteen’s temple, kissing him softly where he knew it hurt. “Five years was like a lifetime without you,” he murmured, kissing him again, pouring himself into it, flushing some life and colour into the gnawing sea of grey. “Please, let me be here now.”

---

17. to distract (5/13)

“Five?” There was a guarded sort of caution in Thirteen’s tone as he approached where his Watcher sat, ashen-faced, a blaster pistol held loosely in his hands across the table. “What are you doing…?”

Five blinked, listening to Thirteen’s footsteps, and drew his lips tight. He hadn’t expected to be found, not like this, but he’d lost track of time as he’d wrestled with the ghost in his head. “Nothing,” he said softly. The weapon wasn’t even his; it felt awkward and foreign in his hands, not that it mattered. His hands wouldn’t obey him.

“Five?” Thirteen pressed, a breath away from using his Watcher’s real name to snare his attention. Such power, was held in one’s name.

Five blinked again, and then angled his head to look up at Thirteen, to watch him slowly pull up a chair beside him. Five felt numb, helpless in a way he’d never quite known. How could he tell Thirteen what was rolling through his mind?

How could he not?

“It’s alright,” the Watcher murmured. “I can’t do anything you wouldn’t like. He won’t let me.”

Five knew Thirteen tried to keep the alarm from showing on his face. But Five was very good at reading faces, and he knew Thirteen’s intimately. “What do you mean?” Thirteen asked again, with that same measured caution. “Who?”

“Valkorion,” Five said simply, and he suspected Thirteen had already known the answer.

“Why would you even…” Thirteen swallowed, feeling his mouth go dry. “What are you talking about. What are you doing here.”

“It’s you he’s interested in. It’s you he wants.”

Thirteen narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips in that way he did when he thought Five was talking absolute nonsense.

Five stared at him, and then his gaze slowly defocused. “It’s true. You, my dear, are the extraordinary one. You are everything, the hero the world wants, the body he craves to possess, and I’m simply-”

“Don’t be idiotic. You stop this, right now.”

“-leverage. The only reason he holds on to me is to keep you in check.”

“Shut up,” Thirteen snapped, letting his voice grow harsh because it was better than showing his fear. He, too, heard the laughter in the back of his head, and in that moment he didn’t know exactly who he was attempting to silence.

“He fears that if I were gone-”

“Stop it. Glen. Stop it right now.”

Five faltered, his eyes sharpening again, his expression pained. He simply watched as Thirteen took the blaster and hurled it across the room, he didn’t flinch as Thirteen reached across and took his face in his hands. He closed his eyes as he felt Thirteen brush his dishevelled hair from his brow and kiss him there. It was almost enough to coax his mind to another place.

“If I were gone,” Five whispered, “you might be able to free yourself from him.”

Thirteen silenced him with a desperate kiss on the lips. “Stop it,” he hissed, with savagery in his tone that wasn’t quite directed at Five. “No more of this. No more of those thoughts, they’re not going to do you or me any good.” And he kissed him again, with no intention of stopping until he’d succeeded in turning Five’s thoughts back to the virtues of staying alive.

---

36. to give up control (Ulfran/13)

“Please. Help me sleep again. Even just one peaceful night…”

Thirteen hadn’t even needed to ask it. Ulfran had known why he’d sought him out, was already prepared to take the Cipher into his arms once more, to smother the nightmares that plagued him.

“Come,” Ulfran beckoned, knowing well the tone that Thirteen responded to.

And Thirteen came to him, head bowed. “My Lord.”

Ulfran had never wished to rise through the ranks of the Sith, power for power’s sake had never been his goal. And so he found the trust that Thirteen placed in him; glib, arrogant Cipher Thirteen; to be extraordinarily humbling. He would do all he could for him.

The Sith placed a hand on the Cipher’s cheek, exerting just enough gentle pressure to encourage him to meet his eyes. “Do you wish me to take anything from your mind?” He’d made the offer more than once in the past, to rid Thirteen of particularly unwelcome memories. While not a preference, he wanted Thirteen to know the option was still there. “Or shall we bury the old with something new?”

“Just… cover it all up,” Thirteen whispered, not wanting to risk Ulfran seeing the things that would wake him in a cold sweat. Ziost. Zakuul. Asylum. All haunted him without cease. “Put something nice at the front of my thoughts.”

“Very well,” Ulfran answered readily. He ran his thumb across Thirteen’s chin, and felt the man shiver. His voice dropped low and his eyes burned. “Then kiss me. Kiss me as you would if you were fresh on the job. As if I had information you needed. As if you required the keycard in my pocket. Kiss me as you would when all the galaxy was new, and exciting, and at your disposal.”

Ulfran didn’t need to use the Force to compel Thirteen.

Thirteen was all too willing to give himself up to Ulfran’s sweet words and rough lips and do as he asked. He remembered not his first jobs as an Agent, but as a Cipher, as one of Intelligence’s most wondrous and terrible secrets. His eyes swirled with silver and a rakish smile fluttered across his features, as he remembered the fresh and giddy excitement with which he’d faced his new life. His hands slipped under Ulfran’s robes to hold his waist and tug him close as he claimed his lips, opening the memories up for Ulfran’s control.

The new skills, the new strength, the joy of flight, the absolute, marvellous thrill of walking through a crowd unseen, knowing just how ignorant everyone was of what truly walked among them. New senses, new tastes, an intoxicating new infatuation… Ulfran picked at the pieces and pulled up what sparked the brightest, allowing it to become real again for Thirteen, for just one, blissful, peaceful night.

---

21. on a place of insecurity (Ahuska/Blakk)

She saw the way his legs trembled. She heard the staccato beat of his heart.

Maybe it was too soon.

Maybe they needed more time together, human and bothan, each with their hands and their voices, more time to talk, to whisper and laugh and be soft and shy with one another, before they could face this.

She watched his hands carefully, and she knew the fur along her spine bristled. It was reflex, it was ancient memory, it meant nothing now, and yet her hackles still lifted to see his hands, just like his hands still shook to see her teeth.

Monster. I’m a monster. The thoughts had rung through her head endlessly. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him, she hadn’t meant to hurt him, but he had nearly died in her jaws and she’d seen the way she hunted him through his dreams, through his nightmares.

She pressed her muzzle between his paws, and he clasped his hands behind his back.

She loved the wolf, she loved being the wolf, she loved her speed and power and grace, she loved the way she felt at home among the trees, on the rocky slopes, under the dazzling night sky, but to feel his eyes on her now threw her back into that terrible, insecure place. Monster.

But he’d said he owed it to her. He’d said it wasn’t fair, that she should feel the need to hide something she loved so much. He’d said he wanted her to know that he trusted her, and so she stayed where she was, curled gently into the grass, as he approached. She let him take her terrible jaws in his terrible hands, and lift her huge lupine head. They both shook.

“You’re good,” he said softly, and it made her weak, it made her want to fall apart. She could barely still her trembling as he hushed the low whine that rose in her throat with a soft kiss to the side of her muzzle. “And you’re beautiful.” Her monstrous body still trembled, but it was not with fear that she shook. His traitorous hands quivered as he dared to gently stroke across the top of her great head, but now it was with emotions he hadn’t dared to let himself know before.

They were going to let things get better.

41. because the world is saved (Ahuska/13)

Come on, come on, come on…!! She blasted her thoughts to him with urgency, as her wings beat the air, keeping her aloft and coasting back and forth to keep the station in view. It was so distant, the connection between them thrummed with tension, stretched to its limit, and she had no idea how she was still holding on, only that she must.

Another second, just one more… Thirteen’s voice came dimly, but clear enough, and even shared between their minds she could feel the strain.

Hurry, please!

Okay okay okayyy... now!!

Ahuska gave him everything she had, and in the next moment the monstrous hawkbat erupted into the sky above her with a shriek of triumph as the distant station bloomed with fire and light. It was done, and for a moment she shared his triumph, thrilled that she had been able to weave enough power between them that even without his own guidance from the Force, he was able to return to her. From the doomed station to her side in less than a heartbeat, but…

It took its toll. Never had Thirteen’s body been put through such extreme pressure; folded across impossible distances, shifted back and forth in succession, and after a half dozen wingbeats his strength failed him completely.

The hawkbat plummeted, and the winged wolf dove after him.

Shift! Shift, you have to go smaller, please…! Ahuska pressed her thoughts at him with urgency, but she felt his panic, his helpless floundering to trigger the change. He was too weak. And in this shape, his huge and powerful form, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to catch him.

She felt him try, she felt the manic part of him that very nearly didn’t care because it was done, it was done, he’d achieved the impossible and surely now he could just sleep–

No, no! They pierced a bank of clouds, the colour of the sky changing around them. Don’t you dare! And she flooded into him, ignoring her own body momentarily in order to press her mind through his and prompt the shift, wincing at the way his body screamed with the effort. I’m here, I’ve got you. She gave him strength. She fed life into him, as feather and scale and heavy gold and purple hide gave way to a lanky human physique.

And Thirteen laughed as he tumbled through the sky, as he felt the fresh life flood through him.

He laughed as the wolf’s shadow fell over him, and gave a whoop of delight as she caught him, her huge forepaws clasping around his body. She tucked her wings and twisted into a tight roll, then spread them wide and caught the sudden shock of hot air as the first physical wave from the destroyed station reached them. She coasted, then tilted her wings for a gradual descent, dropping Thirteen into the lush grassy plain before hitting the ground herself and crumpling with sheer, exhausted relief, skidding, then rolling, then collapsing completely into a mess of feather and fur.

And he was upon her, still laughing, squeezing her tight. She felt his need for physical contact, she felt it and she needed it too, and before she knew it she’d melted down into her bothan body with her arms around him and he took her face and they were kissing, they were kissing to share the sheer and perfect joy of being alive, of having survived.

“We did it,” she said, gasping for air, her ears so hot that even her cheeks were tinged pink. “We really did it.”

“Are they really all gone? It worked?”

“They’re gone,” Ahuska confirmed, sliding her face against his neck, pressing her muzzle against him in a warm and wolflike gesture. She’d felt them all blink out, she knew it was finally over.

“And…” Thirteen was almost afraid to ask, but he had to know. Spread across the galaxy, they’d all had their parts to play, and even if none had been as dangerous as theirs, going where none but the man who was a hawkbat and the bothan who was a wolf could go, that didn’t mean each of them hadn’t walked a path fraught with danger. The risk had been exceptional, but each and every one of them had agreed before setting out- worth it. “The others?”

Ahuska took a moment, closing her eyes and resting her head against Thirteen’s chest as she focused her senses and listened. One by one, she singled out the golden threads of those who mattered more to her than any others in the galaxy. One by one, she felt their heartbeats, strong and sure. She sighed softly and nuzzled against Thirteen with a little wriggle of pleasure. “They’re all okay. We all made it.”

Pure, infectious delight flooded through Thirteen and spilled into Ahuska, and they held one another, drunk on relief. They’d saved the gods damned galaxy, but more importantly still they’d preserved their world, their own little corner, their home. What they wouldn’t have given to share this moment with their loved ones, but that time would come, and right now Thirteen and Ahuska had one another, their hearts racing together and all the joy of the universe woven between them.

They seized one another, they held on tight, and they kissed. Hungrily, breathlessly, exultantly, they kissed as the sky blazed above them.

#asks #dingoat writes #werewolf au #ahuska #thirteen #five #steel crow #blakk #TY #for ASKING #for ALL THE KISSES

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