#I got offered a full time position at my job which is awesome because one Iike

[wtfspocks]

It’s overthinking o’clock

[pbandjesse]

Today was such a great day. For real I just had such a good time. I wish I walked a little more. But I got a lot of steps in and I will try more every time.

I slept okay last night. Waking up was hard but James was there. They made the bed while I got dressed. And honestly my outfit wasn't my best choice. I would end up a little to cold. But that was okay.

I was still sure I needed to wash my hair tonight but a hat would make me feel better today. James left and I would follow soon after. They had put some dumplings in a container for me and made me a bagel. They take care of me so much.

I had a nice drive out. When I forst got outside I was shocked to see that the little maroon car that has been parked in the same spot since March 2020 is gone????? Where did it go??? A dirt patch was left in it's place.

I drove out to came and got there around 8. I was proud of myself for driving to the right buildings in the right order be susd I saved myself so much time.

I would walk around and make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. And then to the lodge to read over my papers to make sure I had some stuff to fill in the time of my intro. Which is getting better but could still improve.

Soon I would go and find some of my parents volunteers at the office. I was over there getting my knitting. But it was good timing. I brought those three over to the lodge. Gave them the map and walkie and sent them off. Because they would need to find their spaces and get set up and got real the parents today were so on top of it. They were some of the best chaperones I have had.

They brought so much stuff! 8 logs! 10 bags of popcorn! Wipes! String! Jerky! So excellent. And slowly all the other parents came and I would send them off.

And they would do so good. A little before 10 the buses came. And both drivers knew Walter and were happy to hear her retired and was enjoying his time. The teachers had all been here before too. And it was nice to not feel like everyone was confused.

And they were such good kids too. They came in and we got started so fast. So I did my whole intro and was basically done at 1005. When I should be done at 1020. Oops.

So I explained the schedule. And the map. I should have done rules right away but forgot. I would do it before they left but oops. We broke into our animal groups. And then a bathroom break. And then they were off!!

I had a great day. It was snowing just a little. It would eventually become rain. And my coat did pretty well. I am going to do another layer of waterproofing but I am very pleased so far.

I would spend some time wandering. Checking in on everyone. And just. Exploring a bit. I would read. And catch up on my knitting. And have a snack. I would give 5 minute warnings and make sure everyone has everything they needed. And it was just such a lovely day.

I would also go and talk to Elizabeth about being full time. She told me that they are offering this role and one more full time position because of a grant. So that's awesome. And she thinks what I'm going to ask for it reasonable. She put a meeting for me with Alexi to talk about it on the 21st. So fingers crossed that goes well??

I would also talk to Heather later. About how I would need a new laptop to do the job well. And she gave me the contact of someone who used to be at camp who runs a space and is looking for more artists to do workshops! So that's awesome.

And then!! I finally got an email back from the craft castle about workshops and he wants to meet up to chat this week! Ah! Things are going so well. I really feel like financially I am starting to get a handle on things.

My foot would hurt a bit. I split it open a bit and so I stopped walking as much. But I would still check on everyone.

At lunch I went to heat my dumplings up. I read for a little. And then went to tell them to all ehsd to their programs. But then a dad started a screaming competition??? I was baffled. Like we were going to be out of there a minute or so early. But because oft this weird game we were almost late. Thankfully we would remain on time for the last two and I didn't have to stress.

I would make sure everyone knew the best and most helpful way to clean up at the end of the day. And then everyone would head back to the lodge.

We did a debrief. And I asked them lots of questions. Tried to help them make connections. But they were already so smart they were just so lovely.

Once it was time to go I handed the "mic" over to the head teacher and she would get them all on the bus. And then we said goodbye. What a nice day.

It would take me a while to make my way around collecting all the objects. I tried to put everything outside so getting it on the gater would be quick. But it still took me a while. I would head to the office and get the keys and even though it was raining and cold I was having fun driving around. And continued to be very proud of myself for doing tight k turns .

Once everything was loaded up I went to talk to Heather for a while. Love her. She's always the best.

And then texted James to ask about doing chipotle for dinner. It would start to rain again and I made the call to go straight to the museum. We would go and get chipotle together.

The drive to the museum was good though. Some traffic. Saw an accident. But I just enjoyed the drive and would get to the museum by 4.

And James would come out to meet me and we drove over to get dinner.

We ate and talked and the food was good and I was happy. But I was getting really tired.

My evening plans were light. Take off my nail polish. Wash my hair. Draw some sticker ideas (we are thinking about making themed packs. Baltimore being the first theme obviously).

And when we got home I would plan on jumping right into washing up but James beat me to the bathroom. So I went to cast some bears in resin. But I accidently splashed all my resin everywhere and it was a huge mess and I was super upset. James helped me clean it and then I went and took my nail polish off and washed my hair.

And I felt a little better after that. My hair looks and feels a lot better. I would fix my resin bears. And then in bed to work on my stickers. I made a Poe and a John Waters. I am afraid the Poe looks like Vincent Price but I love how they both look. And then it would just be cuddling with Sweetp and watching videos.

Now it is late. James was doing their podcast and had now joined me in bed. I ams really tired. Mostly my body. I am looking forward to two days off.

Tomorrow I want to do some clothes sorting. And then some cleaning. And maybe some art but I don't have any for sure plans around that. I just want to have a chill and good day.

I also hope I can sleep great. I hope you all sleep great too!!! Good night!! Love you!!

[kirstenlinae]

Manifesting New Opportunities

My boyfriend made us french toast this morning :) I had sugar free syrup with mine and a glass of 1% milk. It was so delicious. Plus, it's the thought and sentiment that counts; very nice of him to think to make us breakfast this cold Friday morning. Also-- I really did not want to exercise this morning but, I figured not wanting to is a sign that I really need to. So I finished a 30 minute ride. It always makes me feel better to accomplish that every day.

Last night at work I peeked at the anticipated check-ins for today. It's some ridiculous amount like 47 or something. I took the liberty of assigning rooms to all of those check-ins so that I wouldn't have to do it today. I swear, no one every does anything to maintain the front desk during first or third shift. It all usually falls on second shift, which means me >< I am growing so tired of working at the hotel. It's not that it's a bad job, it's just not for me. I want to get back into healthcare. I've been applying for jobs like crazy the last few days at the major health systems in my area. Yesterday I applied for two positions (these are the positions that I REALLY want) and I applied for eight positions today. One of the biggest health systems in the area has like over 100 job postings that I'm qualified for but, their application requires a cover letter so, the process can get time consuming writing one specific to every job I apply for. I'll keep working through them over the weekend. Since my boss cut my Saturdays this month, I have more free time to look for another job. Joke's on them.

I want to work in another healthcare system again mostly because I want the benefits. While the health/dental/vison is nice (obviously), I'm really focused on the tuition assistance. If I get one of the two jobs I applied for yesterday, that health system offers full tuition assistance for nursing students who go to their college affiliate (which I already earned my BS from). Plus, being that I'm about to turn 31 in December...it's high time that I begin contributing to a matched 401k if I ever want the chance of retiring before I die. The free life insurance wouldn't be a bad thing, either all things considered in this day and age. Currently, I have none of those benefits working for the hotel. I get Medicaid since I work part time which is obviously awesome for medical care and prescription meds but awful for vision and dental, although still free. Even though my boyfriend does a phenomenal job of supporting us while I work part time to prep for surgery, I can't help but feel as though we could be going so much farther in our lives, both personally and financially, if I worked a full time job with full benefits.

I am praying for this. I know that maybe right now wouldn't be the best time to make a job/career change. I should probably wait until after surgery but, I am growing restless with my current situation. I want to move forward in big ways. I know that if God sees fit, he will bring it to my feet.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

Until next time.

[pagesfromthevoid]

I know you said you probably won't add more in the time wrap, but if you decide to add more, we'll be here to read it! It would make such an amazing series! I really love it! Anyway, I don't want to put pressure on you, just letting you know ☺️☺️

It’s the Pelvic Thrust | p.p.

Andrew!Peter Parker x superpowered!fem!reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Porn with plot. P in V. Smut. Oral (female receiving).

Author’s Notes: I’m a sucker for all the positive feedback so fine. Here take your smut lmao. Keep in mind that this is my first smut in a loooong time and first time posting it. My porn has plot though!

Series Masterlist | Request here

It had been nearly a month of living with her.

It wasn’t that she was a bad roommate; she wasn’t by any means. Actually, she was an awesome roommate. Since she was stuck inside, she took up cooking and cleaning, which was something Peter lacked in doing for himself. Not that he couldn’t —he just got a lot of take out and was a busy guy. Things happened. But he made sure to tell her that she by no means needed to cook or clean for him.

“I’m stuck in here when you’re working, what else am I supposed to do?”

It was a valid argument and he wasn’t going to say no to it.

The first full day she was there, he stayed with her. He did run to the drug store down the road and picked up various things she said she needed. Then he ran to her apartment to get her some clothes for the time being. He also got her a burner phone, leaving her personal at the apartment in case it was being tracked. When he returned, she made him sit in the bathroom with her while she dyed her hair a new color…

“I don’t look like me,” she complained, staring at herself in the mirror.

“That’s kind of the point,” Peter reminded her, sitting on his bathroom counter. He stared down at her, his stomach twisting with guilt. It obviously bothered her to do this, but it was the necessary step to protect her. “I grabbed your natural colored contacts —the normal blue and greens and lighter brown ones. Oh, and I picked these up.” He snatched the grocery bag that sat on the toilet, pulling out a pair of those faux hipster glasses. “I don’t know why people don’t recognize others with glasses on but it works for Superman so I mean…”

“That’s a comic book character,” she murmured as she took them and looked them over, frowning. Then she put them on. Slipping them off and setting them down, she pushed herself onto the counter opposite of him. “I’m going to bed, I think.”

“I’ll sleep on the couch from here on. Take my bed.”

“It’s fine, I’m used to sleeping on the couch. Just give me a blanket.”

She wouldn’t let him argue, and ended up taking the blanket off his bed and going to the couch without a word.

He had offered to get her different hair dye but she refused, saying she’d get over it. Peter wondered if this was actually the best option for her, but at the end of the day, they both knew it was. Between the glasses and the dye job, she was able to go out in public a little more. But Peter made her stick close to him.

Over the following weeks, they fell into a good routine. He’d go to work, whether it was at the Bugle or as Spider-Man, and she’d hang out at home. Peter had a solid collection of books and video games, so he assumed she found entertainment somehow. Usually when he got home, dinner was ready or about to be. Then they’d sit on the couch, eat and watch TV.

On more than one occasion, she’d fallen asleep on him and he couldn’t help but let her. He’d stay in an uncomfortable position until she moved or woke up, simply because he didn’t want to wake her. It was hard to admit that he was starting to have feelings for her; after all, not even a month ago, they were fighting on rooftops and bickering.

He chalked it up to proximity; she was always there so of course he felt something for her. They literally were living together. And she flirted so much, and he flirted back, and it was just their thing. It had always been their thing. Now it was just…a daily thing.

That evening was no different.

“I’m going to get some groceries today, so make sure you text me whatever you need.”

“Condoms and lube are always on my list,” she reminded him, and Peter rolled his eyes.

“Edible things.”

“They definitely make edible lube.”

He rolled his eyes and grabbed his backpack and jacket. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, pretty boy.”

*****

When Peter returned from his grocery run, she wasn’t on the couch where he left her. He set everything down and made his way to the bathroom, where the door was locked.

“Hey, you good?”

There was some shuffling, sniffling, then the water ran for a few seconds. When it turned off, she opened the door with a very fake smile and red rimmed eyes. She had a long T-shirt on and he honestly couldn’t tell if she had on shorts but he wasn’t complaining.

“Yeah, sorry, all good. I just needed to wash my face.” She motioned to herself, looking anywhere but him as she tried to move around him. But Peter blocked her path.

“You can tell me the truth, you know.”

She bit her lip, refusing to look at him still. Peter reached up to take her chin in his hand gently, urging her to look at him. There wasn’t a fight as she finally did; and the tears had returned.

“I hate being locked in the house all day, every day, that’s all,” she explained, wiping her eyes as she pulled away from him. “I’m just…I’m lonely,” she admitted.

Peter didn’t withdraw, and instead moved to wipe her tears from her cheeks. They may have established a routine but he wasn’t necessarily used to having someone at home for him. He was very accustomed to being gone all day, dawn to dusk. But he realized now that she needed someone there to be with her.

“I’m sorry, that’s my fault. I should have known better than to just assume you would want to be alone all day.”

“You have a million better things to do than keep me company, Peter. That wasn’t part of the deal, anyway.”

He watched her for a moment before he took her hand, tugging her out of the bathroom. Once more, there was no fight from her. She padded across the wooden floors behind him, blindly trusting whatever he was doing. At this point, Peter trusted her too. How could he not? She’s had ample opportunity to hurt or betray him; she hadn’t done so yet.

“Let’s watch a movie in here tonight; I’m sure you’re tired of sleeping on the couch.”

“Trying to get me in bed, Peter Parker?”

“Quite literally, I am trying to get you to sleep in my bed, yes.”

The watery eyes were drying and she gave a small laugh as she sat on his bed. Peter grabbed his laptop and plopped onto his side of the bed, giving her room to properly get comfortable while he got his computer set up. She stood and hit the lights, stretching up some before climbing into bed beside him. Peter glanced at just the right time, catching her stretch, and confirming she simply wore a T-shirt she had stolen from his closet.

It made his stomach twist as she moved closer to him.

“What are we watching?”

“Anything you want,” he offered, handing the laptop to her. She shut the laptop, however, and Peter frowned some. “Do you not want to watch a movie?”

She shook her head, setting the laptop on the nightstand, before she looked back at him. “I want you to kiss me.”

“Wh-what?”

“Oh suddenly you can’t flirt? I didn’t think —“

Before she could finish her insult, though, Peter was on top of her, kissing her hard. She made a sound of surprise, but responded in kind by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Her teeth caught his bottom lip, and he groaned some, which allowed her to push her tongue into his mouth.

Without breaking the kiss, Peter rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him in the process. She broke away for a moment, about to make a comment, but he pulled her back into a heated kiss as his hands started to roam her body. She took his wandering hands as a sign, and broke the kiss once more to pull the shirt over her head. Peter laid back, staring up at her as she straddle his stomach completely naked besides the panties she had on.

“I showed you mine, now show me yours,” she teased, running her nails down his clothed chest.

Peter didn’t hesitate, moving to yank his shirt off and toss it into the pile growing on the floor. He sat up some, resting on his elbows, as he admired the woman above him. She did the same, running her nails down his chest now, drinking in everything.

“I’ve been dying to see you shirtless, you know,” she grinned as Peter sat up entirely, pressing their bare skin together.

“I didn’t realize you were serious,” he admitted, running his hands up her arms. She wrapped her arms back around his neck, and Peter started to kiss and nip at the skin of her throat.

“I’ve been flirting with you for months —“ He bit a particularly sensitive spot, and she gasped. This warranted him to do it again, biting down just enough to leave a mark.

He pushed her back into the mattress, trailing kisses down her shoulders to her chest. His hands roamed back up, catching her breasts in his hands, where he pinched her nipples lightly. A gasp escaped her lips as his left hand focused on her breast but his teeth grazed her nipple. The reaction was enough for him to pull and suck, while he pinched and twisted the other.

While he determined to give her other the same treatment, she had other plans and pulled him back up into a kiss. He didn’t argue, enjoying the feel of her lips on his. Her nails dragged down his skin, stopping just below the waistband of his jeans, when she pulled back some.

“Too many clothes,” she whispered, and Peter pulled away without question to add his jeans to the pile on the floor.

She sat up on her elbows, much like he had earlier, and looked him over several times. Peter almost looked away, but stopped himself. Instead, he leaned back in and kissed her jaw, then her cheek, then her mouth once more. This kiss was a messier, but all Peter could focus on was running his hand between her parted legs and getting her panties off.

“Let me make you feel better,” he whispered against her lips, grinning when he felt how wet she already was.

She nodded as his fingers slid under the lining of her panties, now deftly running his fingers along her slit to spread the wetness over them. Her back arched off the bed, but Peter pressed a kiss to her lips again, telling her to relax as he found her clit. He toyed and pinched at it, gauging her reaction before finally taking a finger and sliding it carefully inside.

The sound she made was amazing. The way her body clenched around just his finger was making Peter want to abandon the foreplay and skip straight to the good part. But this wasn’t for him, he decided. This was for her.

Well, a little bit was for him.

He pumped his finger in and out a few times, eliciting a string of sounds that was making him unbearably hard. Then he slipped another finger in, taking a moment to appreciate how tight she was and imagining that feeling around his cock. Peter moved to trail kisses down her body again, nipping at her breasts one more time before he made his way to her pussy.

His hand stilled inside her, and he hooked his fingers up, causing her to cry out. Her hand immediately covered her mouth but his free one moved it.

“I wanna hear you.”

He kissed the inside of her thighs, trailing his tongue lightly over the skin, before finally latching around her clit. Another cry and she immediately put her hand in his hair, tugging on it as he licked and sucked on the swelling bud of her clit. His fingers pumped in and out again, adding to the the lewd sounds that she was making as she begged for him to keep going.

“Please, Peter, god please. I’m so close.”

Her pleading was amazing but he had other plans as he pulled his fingers from her. Peter licked a strip up, savoring how she tasted against his tongue. He stopped, though, and she fell into the mattress, breathing heavily. Gently, he removed her panties entirely before removing his boxers. When she finally looked up —no doubt to scold him —she simply stared, mouth open some.

“Close your mouth unless you’re offering to use it,” he grinned, crawling back up to kiss her again.

He wanted her to taste herself, and the idea only made him harder as he pushed his tongue into her mouth. Her hands tangled in his hair, returning the kiss desperately. They pulled back, resting their foreheads against one another as they caught their breaths.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmured, eyes closed as he took another breath.

“You,” she said with certainty. “I want you.”

That was all it took for Peter to hook his arms around her legs and pull her towards him. She let out an excited laugh, unable to help herself. Peter held himself against her core, sliding his cock up and down, wetting himself with the mess they had made. She whined, reaching down between her legs to take hold of him, guiding him towards her. Just feeling her hand around him wrecked him, and Peter tilted his head back and groaned.

Letting her guide him, Peter leaned over and braced himself on the bed. Then slowly —not by his own choice, but wanting to savor the feeling —he pushed his cock into her. He relished the feeling of how warm and tight she was around him, how she clenched around his cock like she had his fingers. This was so much better though. Miles better. He pushed until he bottomed out inside her, filling her whole with his cock. She repeated his name over and over, begging for him to move, push, anything —and so he pulled out and rammed back inside hard.

She cried out, his name filling the room as well as other profanity as Peter fucked her into the mattress. Her legs wrapped around his waist, trying to push him as deep as she could, as she begged for him to go faster, to go harder. He was happy to oblige, enjoying watching her come undone underneath him. Using her thighs to hold her, he straightened some, pounding into her flesh as hard as he could without hurting her.

Her pussy clenched around him again, and she begged him to keep going, crying that she was so close. So close to cumming. Peter leaned down, pulling her into a sloppy kiss as he reached between their bodies, and rubbed her clit to bring her over the edge. She cried into the kiss, and then her nails dug into his back as she pulled back to moan his name one more time as she came.

Between feeling her orgasm pulse through her and seeing her writhe underneath him, Peter felt himself begin to stutter in his movements. Just as he felt himself about to fall, he pulled out, releasing himself all over her stomach. His whole body shook as he came, using his hand to finish himself off before he fell in bed beside her.

Both lay on the bed now, sweaty and smelling of sex and lust. She covered her eyes with her arm, trying to catch her breath. Peter turned on his side, resting his head in his hand as he looked her over. She was beautiful in many ways, but seeing her fucked out of her mind, covered in his cum, Peter decided this was how he liked her most.

“I need to shower,” she finally said, though her voice was hoarse.

“I think I’ll join you this time.”

She peaked at him from beneath her arm, smirking wickedly at him.

“Finally, pretty boy.”

———

Requests are OPEN

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Taglist: @blankspaceblankday @ohlovelywar @spidderboy

[chaoticforever]

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures | Yandere Tony and Yandere Steve x Male! Reader

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers.

Are two men with very different and very strong personalities. Both tend to get into arguments and didn't really have things in common. Well, until you came along and managed to steal the heart of Iron Man and Captain America. 

You, Y/N L/N. The newest member of the Avengers who was in your mid-20s and graduated from SHIELD academy, and ended up being recruited by Fury. 

And from the first day they laid their eyes on you, you've managed to turn everything around with just one look.

Created a dark, possessive monster inside the Billionaire and super-soldier. 

They loved every part of you and the sole purpose of their lives was to get you to be one of theirs forever. 

Of course, this has caused them both to argue more frequently than they did, and the other Avengers were getting fed up with it. So, they both resorted to doing many different things to gain your love and affection. 

Tony resorted to spending his wealth and luxuries. He's constantly spoiling you with gifts and even took you flying in his private jet with just the two of you.

Steve wasn't from this time, but he knew that if he wanted you, he needed to be himself, so that's what he did. He took you out to your favorite restaurants and other places to your liking. You seemed to be having a good time, which made Steve think he is winning against Tony. 

They wouldn't stop until they both succeeded in winning your heart. 

You and Steve were currently training in the gym after punching the punching bags. Though you didn't need to train, you liked training with Steve. Tony watched you both train through the cameras he had installed to make sure that Steve didn't try anything with you. 

Steve was a little more skilled in fighting than you, but he should learn to never underestimate you. Without warning, Steve threw a punch at you and missed as you did a special move and flipped him on the ground as he groaned. 

"How did you manage to do that?" Steve asked breathlessly from underneath you, blushing from the position you both were in. 

"Because I'm awesome and amazing." You said cockily with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders as you smirked down at the super soldier, "Guess I'm stronger than you." 

In a split second, Steve flipped you over and pinned your arm down as your eyes widened in surprise. That damn super Soldier serum strength. Steve was now smirking down at you, "I'm still stronger."

He put his hand on your cheek, startling you slightly as you felt heat crawl up to your face. Steve decided to get a little bold and leaned down, slowly closing the distance between you two, but the sound of your phone blared throughout the gym. You both jumped, and you got up from underneath Steve to check it. 

Crap, I was so close to kissing him. Steve thought as Tony clenched his fist in his hand, feeling a sudden urge to call for his suit and shoot a lot of repulsors at Steve. 

I can't believe I almost kissed Captain America. What is wrong with me? You thought and shook your head, checking to see who called you and the unread message. 

Seeing the message made you let out a huff of annoyance. Steve frowned and walked over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look at him. 

"Are you alright, Y/N?" 

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just fine."

Steve didn't believe you, but he'll let it go for the time being, "Hey, are you hungry? I can make you something or we can go out to lunch." He smiled at you. 

"I would love to go out to lunch with you, but I promised Tony I would help down in the lab after I was done training." You sent him an apologetic smile. 

Steve clenched his teeth at the fact that you were spending time with Tony. He didn't want you to be alone with him. He hoped at least Bruce was in the lab with you, but then again, Tony would still try to make a move with Bruce there or not. 

"Mr. L/N, sir would like to see you in his lab now." Jarvis said. 

"Okay, I'll see you later, Steve." 

You left the gym, not knowing that you left behind a jealous and fuming Steve. 

You took a shower and changed as quickly as possible, running to the elevator and nearly bumped into Tony who had a coffee mug in his hand. 

"There you are, Y/N! I was wondering what was taking you so long." Tony said, stepping back into the elevator along with you and taking a sip of his coffee. 

"Just need to take a shower and change first. Training made me very sweaty," You replied, "So, what are we working on today?" 

"We aren't working on anything today." 

The elevator stopped and you both entered the lab, as you looked at Tony in confusion, "But I thought we were-" 

"Nope! You are going to try on the new suit I designed for you." He presses a button, which brings out the suit. 

"Wait. I'm actually getting my own suit?" You asked, trying to keep the excitement out of your voice, but failing miserably. 

Tony nodded, "Yeah, and with this suit, you'll have full optimal protection along with other special modifications. It'll be good for future missions as well." He boasted proudly of his new design. 

"It's perfect! Can I try it on now?" 

"I don't see why not. Go ahead!" 

He takes the suit out of the package and you took it, running into another room to get changed, but not before planting a kiss on Tony's cheek. He still stood in the same spot and blushed, taking a deep breath in. 

The suit felt amazing on your body. It was quite comfortable and nobody can ever say that you don't look good in this suit cause that would be a lie.

This black suit could help you blend into the environment better and look good at the same time. 

"I can't believe you tried to kiss him! And then show up down here in my lab!" You heard Tony speaking to someone in a hushed tone and you decided to listen in. 

"Mellow out, Stark. Don't act like you haven't tried to when you're alone with him." You heard Steve's voice spoken in a hushed tone as well. 

"Doesn't matter. I do what I want, and I want you to stay away from him." 

"I don't have to listen to you!" 

"I'd strongly suggest you do." 

"Hey, how do I look?" You step out and show them how your suit looks on you, putting an end to this unnecessary argument as they both looked at you. 

Both, Steve and Tony's mouths fell open slightly at the way you looked in that black suit, "...Hot." Was the word that came out of their mouth simultaneously and you chuckled. 

"I know. Thank you." You responded. Just then, you got a message on your phone and resisted the urge to sigh, "Sorry, Tony. I have to leave right now." 

"What? Why?" Tony narrowed his eyes as Steve stood next to him, waiting for your answer. 

"Well, one of my friends from SHIELD Academy wanted to meet up with me." 

"And what's their name?" Steve asked.  

"His name is Tyler and I forgot we made lunch plans together, so I'm going to go and get ready. I'll see you guys later. I won't be gone for more than an hour."

Quickly, you walked out of the lab and left behind two people together in a room with one sole purpose. And they realized that someone else might be in their way. 

Around twenty minutes later, you were done getting dressed, wearing a casual outfit. It was probably a little much for going out with a friend. Oh well. You always dress to impress. 

"Where are you going looking that good? A date, perhaps?" You heard Natasha ask and turned around to see her in the doorway with Clint, smirking at you. 

"If you must know, I'm not going on a date. Just going out with a friend." 

"Oh c'mon. There's no way you're going out with a friend when you look that hot. It's totally a date," Clint said, "I bet you fifty bucks he's gonna have sex." 

You rolled your eyes, letting out a snort, "It's not a date and I won't be having sex. Tyler just wants to know what's been happening in my life and how I fit in around here." 

"Well, make sure to tell him that you fit in just fine around here. This is your home." Natasha tells you. 

"Home." You whispered in a flat tone, putting on your jacket and shoes. 

"Yeah! You're an Avenger now. It might not feel like home since you're still pretty new here, but it will soon." Clint chimed in and you nodded with a smile. 

You went down to the living room where all the other Avengers were sitting and said your goodbyes. Then, you walked out of the tower to go and meet Tyler. 

XXXXX XXXXX 

"Come dance with me, Y/N." Tyler asked, placing his drink down and offering you his hand with a smile. You two went out to lunch before coming out to a bar. You two had an interesting conversation. 

Even though you said you would be gone for an hour, that turned into three. 

"Um, right now?" 

"No, when we are old and gray. Of course, I meant right now." You rolled your eyes but took his hand and he led you onto the dance floor where other couples were dancing as well. 

Soon, you were wrapped in his arms, swaying to the rhythm of the music, "Remember what I told you to do. Take out the Avengers before it's too late." 

You let out a sigh, not wanting to have this conversation right now or at all for that matter. Unfortunately, some Hydra agents did invade SHIELD and recruited Tyler. They were trying to recruit you too, but you didn't want to be a part of that. 

You didn't want to hurt or kill the Avengers. You actually liked them and saw them as family. You wanted to protect and help people, not hurt them. 

"I don't want to have this conversation right now." You stated and lifted your head up from his chest to see that he looked like he was struggling to breathe and frowned, "Tyler? You alright there?" 

Suddenly, Tyler collapsed onto the floor, passing out as some people came over to see what happened. You were about to check on him when a Hydra Agent came over and placed a hand on your shoulder, "Get back to the tower. You have a job to do. Don't forget." 

You let out a dramatic huff but walked back to the tower. When you got back to the tower, you went straight to the bathroom and splashed some water on your face, drying it with a washcloth. 

Fuck it, you decided that you aren't killing any of the Avengers. You were basically a member now. You get to save people's lives and that's what you wanted to do. Hydra would have to kill you before you think about hurting the team. 

You entered your room at the exact moment someone knocks on your door. Ugh, seriously? You wanted to blast your music and read a book or something. Who the hell is knocking at your door? 

You opened the door and Tony and Steve were standing in the doorway, "Hey, Y/N. How was your date?" Steve asked, voice dripping with bitterness. 

"It wasn't a date," You corrected, and sighed in slight exasperation, "But I had a good time. What are you guys doing here?" 

"Cap and I came here to ask you a question." Tony spoke up confidently. 

"What is it?" 

Suddenly, both Steve and Tony grabbed one of your hands, startling you slightly.

"Y/N. We really like you. A lot."

"And we want to know who you like back." They pulled you closer to them, gripping your waist in a possessive manner. 

You looked back and forth between both of the men standing before you, clearing your throat roughly. You've known for some time now that they had a crush on you. It wasn't hard to tell. 

You liked both these men a lot. Though the way you liked them was different than the way they loved you. Their obsession ran deep and there wasn't anything they wouldn't do for you. 

"...I kinda like both of you." You said and watched them closely for their reactions

"Well, we don't mind sharing you," Tony declared, "You want to be ours, right?" 

"Yeah, I'll be both of yours." Oh, you didn't know what saying those words would do to the genius and the blonde.  All you wanted to do was take a nap after the crazy day you had. 

And that's what you did. 

You fell asleep in a matter of minutes as Tony and Steve laid on both sides of you, cuddling with you in content. 

"Didn't I tell you that everything would work out perfectly?" Tony questioned. 

"I hate to say it, but you were right, Tony. And I'm glad that you were right." Steve responded, wrapping his arm tighter around your waist and kissing your neck.

Once you left the lab, Tony and Steve could only think about the fact that you were going on a date with some guy and they couldn't let that happen. 

They didn't want to do this, but they created a partnership of sorts to make sure that no one else could have you. They didn't want to share you. Both of them wouldn't stop trying to win your heart and kill each other. But, you know what they say. 

Sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures. 

Everyone wants to at least fuck you. I mean just look at you, so they needed to work together to make sure you were theirs, and theirs alone. 

Tony had placed a 24/7 tracker on you when you first joined the Avengers with audio and video. He was able to track and see you all the time. 

Watching as you laughed and talked with Tyler like he was your whole world sent both men bubbling with anger. 

Using his connections and wealth, Tony hired someone to put a drop of poison that he created himself in Tyler's drink which would kill him in a few minutes. 

Steve ended up killing the person who Tony hired to do it. They couldn't have him telling anyone about what they did. 

You messed with their minds with only a look and they couldn't help, but love it. 

Tony has been with plenty of men in the past. None lasted long since he was a playboy, but no one ever made him feel this way and he couldn't let you go. 

Steve was pretty much familiar now with the concepts of same-sex couples. And when he first laid eyes on you, a man, he knew that you needed to be right in his arms. 

And now, you have given yourself to both of them. Oh, you didn't know what you just did because you were with them forever now. 

Escaping is impossible and they would do anything to make sure you belonged to them. They had no intention of ever letting you leave them.

XXXXX XXXXX 

[ellana-ravenwood]

“My fake boyfriend is a billionaire ?!” - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : After a few shitty weeks of everything going wrong, you somehow find yourself faking a relationship with the one and only Bruce Wayne. 

That’s it. I did it. After 3 years posting stories on this platform, I finally succumb to one of the biggest fanfiction cliché of all time haha. The infamous fake boyfriend trope. And I really hope you will like it : 

My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

The Gap Year of Disaster

Today, you were an utter mess, and you couldn’t care less.

You know, this kind of days where you wish you would just have stayed in bed ?

Where everything goes wrong and you just want to hide under your blanket and pretend you don't have any responsibilities ?

Well today…Today was most definitely this kind of day.

It was suppose to be your first day at an exciting new job and you were so psyched about it, that you hadn’t been able to sleep all night. 

You finally fell into a deep slumber during the very early hours of the day, and…

Of course you woke up late ! You didn't have time to take a shower, or to do your make-up nicely or even to brush your hair. But worst of all you didn't have time to get coffee !

When you got out with your bike….it was pouring outside. Ah but of course, because when one thing goes wrong everything has to follow. Everything WILL go wrong. Murphy's law or some stupid things like that !

It's in those moments you wish you had a car ! Because when it rained in Gotham…It felt like Noah was ordered to built another ark !

So, sleep deprived, soaked, in a bad mood and looking like a mess, you managed, by some miracle, to arrive at your job on time.

Only to discover that this wasn’t at all what you were expecting. It was NOT what was promised to you, which was experience in an exciting workplace and a way to make the most of it. 

Instead, it was a desk job where you ran errand for everyone. Amazing. 

This was supposed to be your first try at “real life”, this was why you took that gap year from college. 

“I want to find myself, find who I really am !” You told everyone around you, ignoring those who were negative and telling you you should finish your study first. 

Now, as you were stuck in a tiny cubicle with an endless list of coffee orders you had to get for everyone else, you felt like maybe they were right, and that this wasn’t quite the way you were going to “find yourself”. 

Then again, wasn’t it through hardship that this sort of things unlocked ? Wasn’t it with great determination and knowing how it was to struggle, that you were going to thrive ? That’s what they said in TED talks dedicated to “success”...

So far in your life, things had been rather normal. Not particularly easy, but not hard either. You grew up in a small town in New Jersey, no troubles on the horizon. You then moved to Gotham for college as you had a scholarship for Gotham’s University, and as you were about to start your third year you sort of questioned wether or not this was your path...

One of your favorite professor told you to maybe take a gap year. A few semesters off, to think things through. Taking advantage of it to do some soul searching and try to know what you really wanted and...It sounded wonderful ! 

That’s when you started to have job interviews in many different fields, and it took you three months to finally find something. Three very stressful months of wondering how long you could live off of your measly savings, and wether or not you’d have to move back in with your parents (anything but that !)...Not a very good start to that gap year for sure. 

And when you landed what you thought was going to be a great job, things definitely were looking up ! Ah, but the fact that you were chosen while you had NO experience and such, should’ve been your first warning that this was too good to be true. 

You were trying to stay positive though. Maybe it was only for the first day ? Maybe their coffee person was sick or something ? It’d get more interesting later ? Yes. Yes let’s keep a positive outlook on everything. 

Except right now, as your entire morning was made of you walking up and down the building (the elevator was not working, but of course), to the coffee shop at the corner of the street, and bringing back orders for people, you didn’t feel in the mood to try and stay cheery. 

And the worst in all that ? You didn't even get ONE cup for yourself…This “real life” thing was not starting very well. 

And so here you were, during your lunch break, looking like a mess, bag under your eyes and still wet from the rain (your trips up and down the street for coffee runs not helping drying yourself off), your morale at its lowest..And…

"That'll be 3 dollars and 50 cents for the large latte with triple espresso shot, m'am."

Catastrophe. 

Proof that things could ALWAYS get worst. 

As you were looking through your bag, you couldn't find your wallet !

Did you leave it at home ?! Maybe. 

People at your work gave you the money to buy them coffee (and not a single tips, bunch of cheapskates). And you didn’t notice you were missing that oh so essential part of your daily life...Your credit card. Or any type of money. 

Damn it ! 

“Um, excuse me miss, that’s 3,50 please ?”

“Oh yes yes, um, you know what I just-” 

“Here, miss, you dropped this.” 

As you were about to explain that in fact, you didn’t need coffee (even if when you asked for it you might’ve mentioned it being a question of “life or death”), too embarrass to admit you didn’t have the money to buy it, a...very handsome man handed you a twenty dollars bill. 

You were a hundred percent sure this wasn’t yours. You never carry lose cash like this. A quick look to his kind deep blue eyes, and soft smile, and you realize...

Oh. Great. A total (very handsome) stranger took pity of you. 

You probably looked even worst than you felt. You were about to say this was a mistake, but before you could, he gave the bill to the barista, and left with a last smile to you, taking his own cup of coffee away with him. 

Damn. You didn’t have time to say “thank you”. He vanished as fast as he appeared, disappearing in the crowd of the busy coffee shop. 

“Here’s your change, m’am.” 

“Ah you know what ? Keep it buddy. Thanks for the coffee.” 

“Wow, thanks !” 

You were pretty sure that barista never had such a big tip, and it oddly made you feel better, to make someone else’s day like that. Your grandma did always say that you found true joy from helping others...

Oh, yeah, ok, you just helped someone out, why was the universe so angry at you ?! 

As you turned around and started to leave, almost at the exist of the shop, mood a little better after this nice encounter with a (again, handsome) stranger, and the barista, you see him. 

Him. One of the reason you sort of decided to take a gap year. 

Him. 

Your ex-boyfriend, Eric, who cheated on you with your friend Monica. Needless to say, it wasn’t a good memory. And you hadn’t seen neither him nor her since you left college, especially not since you heard they actually got together. 

Your FRIEND. With your BOYFRIEND. And it went on for a while, before you finally discovered it (that day was as shitty as today...). 

Oh. And of course Eric wasn’t alone. She, was there too. The one you thought was your friend, and who stabbed you in the back like that. Both of them discarding you like a dirty old sock. 

Great. Really. Awesome. This day was going from “bad” to “please kill me.” 

“(Y/N) !” 

He looks surprised to see you, although also a little pleased. And it makes you want to punch him in the face. You don’t care if it’s because he wished things ended another way, they both betrayed your truth and then never even tried to talk to you again afterward. 

You’re not sure you would’ve forgave them, but at least, it would’ve shown they still cared about you in a way. Nobody chooses who they’re going to fall in love with (that, you’d soon discover for yourself). But she was your best friend. And he was with you for over a year. 

She’s a little more awkward than him, and smiles, clearly embarrassed. You always knew she was a bit of a coward, if she wasn’t, she would’ve face you, right ? 

And that’s when it happened. The decision that would forever change your life.

In this great moment filled with despair and awkwardness.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw that nice stranger who paid for your coffee. The handsome one. He didn’t leave the shop, but instead went to seat at a table that was a little further away than the rest of them. 

His eyes were glued to his phone, and you thought : “Well, fuck it, all this can’t get any worst right ?”

You were sort of hoping that, since he had been nice with you once and offered you those twenty dollars without knowing you (although you were very aware it was probably just pity), maybe he could help again ? 

Maybe it was the fatigue, the fact you were getting sadder and sadder, that you had a terrible day, and that you just saw two people you loved and who threw you away like you meant nothing (oh but not before being super fake to you, pretending they WEREN’T cheating behind your back)...maybe it was a combination of all of that, that made you act crazy. 

But here you found yourself, sitting at that stranger’s table, and saying, as he looked up from his phone clearly surprised : 

“How are you guys ? As you can see, I’m great.” 

You don’t dare to look at the handsome stranger, and hope he’ll be too stunned to say anything, and you can make your ex-friend and ex-boyfriend feel embarrass enough they’ll leave quickly. But then Monica says something that makes your heart skip multiple beats : 

“You...You know Bruce Wayne ?!” 

You turn to the man who gracefully paid for your coffee, and your eyes go wide. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. How did you NOT recognize him ?! Of course. Chiseled face, beautiful blue eyes, a suit that was definitely worth your entire year’s salary, a very charming aura...

Your hazy mind full of “fuck this day” didn’t register that THE Bruce Wayne, was the one who helped you out. How did you miss that ? His face had been plastered everywhere in Gotham for the past year, since he came back to the city, in fact. 

You hear yourself wish with all your might to be struck by lightning this instant, as the two assholes who hurt you so much are looking at you expectantly and are not about to live (of course, they just met celebrity BRUCE WAYNE !! Could someone be as unlucky as you were today ?!)

And that’s when you hear a chuckle, a beautiful deep chuckle, and finally turn to look at Bruce. He smiles at you, and takes your hand, saying : 

“Honey, who are your friends ?” 

Your brain go full “ERROR 404″, not quite able to grasp the fact that THE Bruce Wayne just ran with what you were trying to do. How ? How was this possible ? You initially went to sit with him in the hope that Eric and Monica would see you were totally ok and with a hot date, not quite sure still yet how you ever thought this was a good idea and...

It was turning out alright ?! 

HOW ?! 

“Oh um, I’m..Eric. And this is my gir...This is Monica.” 

What a piece of shit. Not even brave enough to call her his “girlfriend” when he cheated on you with her for months and months. You glare at him, unable to stop this gut reaction. 

And that’s something Bruce caught. 

In fact, as soon as you sat down, avoiding looking at him and nervously looking at those two people, Bruce sort of knew you were in an uncomfortable situation. One that made you take an irrational decision. 

And oh, he didn’t like the look Eric and Monica gave you. Like they felt superior as they caught you in a bad moment. Bruce hated, people who thought they were superior to others... 

And you clearly seemed in distress and in need of help so...He ran with it. 

Bruce had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t enough that it felt natural, to run along with what your hazy mind thought was a good idea. 

“Nice to meet you, are you friends with-” 

Damn it. He realized he didn’t know your name. Quick thinking saved him, and he managed to keep his tone even, as to hide his hesitation : 

“My love ?” 

His hand around yours felt warm and reassuring, and you still couldn’t believe that, not only a total stranger, but THE Bruce Wayne was helping you out like that. Especially after you had such a bad day. 

Him calling you his “love” made your exes feel very awkward, and they shake their head “no”, suddenly pretending they’re very busy and have to meet up with someone. They leave the coffee shop, clearly stunned, whispering things to each others that you knew were probably : “how did she get a guy like him ?!”

You can’t help but glare at them some more...But then your hand feels cold again, and you realize Bruce let go off it. Well. Duh. Of course he would. 

You turn to him, your feature softening, and say : 

“Are you an angel ?” 

Ah yes. Your defense mechanism. “Humor”. 

He chuckles, and says : 

“Well, I’m afraid not. My butler would think this is very funny. But thank you.” 

Awkwardly, you rub your neck, your free hand nervously turning your cup of coffee clockwise in your palm. You don’t really know how to end this, what : “thanks for that” and leave ? 

“Thanks for the coffee. And for um...Saving my ass, just there.” 

He smiles, and wow hello white teeth and charming dimples ?! 

“You’re very welcome. They looked like they were jerks.” 

“Haha oh you have no idea.” 

“Glad I could help.” 

“Thanks again. Really. This means a lot, especially since we don’t know each others. Well, I know you. Everyone in Gotham does haha. And ok I’m going to leave now, my lunch break is almost over and I don’t want to make this even more awkward.” 

You start to rise up, but he holds you back by catching your sleeve, and says : 

“Actually miss…?”

“(Y/L/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Miss (Y/L/N), you are kind of saving my life right now.”

“…I am ?”

A flash blinds you. Not a lightning, a camera flash. You turn, just in time to see a guy hastily hiding a camera and running away. 

“What the...” 

“A paparazzi. Good timing, for once.” 

“Huh ?” 

You wish you had some witty come back, or would just know what to say. But you’re confused. And this has been a really weird day. 

“I am sorry if this will seem forward, or like I helped you wanting something in exchange. But I promise I will make it worth your while if you just sit back down and listen to me for a few minutes.” 

You sit back down. More because you’re unsure your leg can still support you in this moment, than because he asked you to. With a smile he continues : 

“Thank you. So. Let me explain a little, and again, sorry if this is too forward. If you don’t want to help of course, I would understand. I’m about to ask you something rather odd, I guess. And I’ll clear things up with paparazzis. I also promise I did not help you with your “friends”-”

“They’re not my friends.” 

“I figured that much. And I promise I didn’t help you with them and ran with whatever you were trying, just so I could ask you this.” 

“Ask me what ?” 

“Well, you see…it’s arranged marriage season.”

“What ?”

“Every year, every single rich family try to make me marry their single daughters. It’s a very tiring season, but I’ve never been able to avoid it…I thought about having a fake fiancee before but could never find the right person.”

What he says does not register with you. His clear proposal doesn’t hit your brain. And you just stare at him, waiting for him to keep going. But he doesn’t, and by the way he looks at you, you slowly starts to understand where he’s getting at. 

You gasp, now pretty sure this is all a dream (or a nightmare) and say : 

“And I’m the right person ?”

“Well, yes. You seem to be a...“normal” person.”

“…Thanks.”

“In that case it’s good. It’s very good. It means that if I’m dating you, a woman that has nothing to bring me, then it must be true love.”

“Wow, stop with the flatteries already mister Wayne, I can’t handle it…”

Ah, your slight wits are back. Good sign that you’re regaining your senses. Everything that happened in the last ten minutes still feel like a bad dream, but you’re back in reality now. 

“No no no, I didn’t mean it in a demeaning way ! But it’s just, you’re not rich, and you’re not famous or have political ties. You’re just a regular person. So they won’t think I’m trying to trick them, even if I am, do you know what I mean ?”

“Gotcha. My broke ass person cannot bring you any value, so it must be love and not just an arranged thing they can break. Cool.”

There’s a slight silence. And you find it a little fun, to play a little bit with the famous Bruce Wayne. He seemed so confident and cocky on TV, you never thought you’d be able to make him look so guilty. 

“I’m sorry if I offended you.”

He says, clearly meaning it. But you shake your head and smile at him (and oh why does he feel his heart tightening slightly at your smile ?), and reassure him instantly (you feel a little bad, actually, to mess with him while he did just really do a huge favor to you while he had no obligations to) : 

“Haha, just messin’ around with ya Mster Wayne. I’m not bothered by it, it’s the truth. I’m really broke, and I don’t think you could find more “regular” than me right now. So, and because you really did save my ass from an extremely displeasing experience back there. And also because you allowed me to see those assholes’ face of surprise and “how did she manage that ?!”, tell me more about your plan, and let’s see if I can help you back.”

And so Bruce starts to explain to you how, every year, this beginning of Fall is the worst time ever, as it’s a moment where everyone seems to want to marry off their daughter. And of course, Bruce Wayne is a good “party”. 

The plan was fairly simple. You’d fake a relationship with him, so he could avoid all of this, and in exchange...Well. You’d gain a lot in exchange. 

This is how you started to really feel like you had fallen into a “romcom” by accident...You and Bruce, became an actual living trope. 

************

“And then when the “marrying season” is done, you can break it off.”

“I ?”

“Well yes, I can assure you you’ll gain quite a rep if you break up with me haha.”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure you like that sort-of overly confident side of him. But you can see something behind his eyes, like a slight unsureness as he looks back at you, trying to see if you’ll agree or not.

“I don’t really need a “reputation”.”

Breaking up with THE Bruce Wayne himself. For sure people would talk about it a lot, and maybe it would help open some doors for you ? But you felt a little odd taking advantage of this like that. 

Seeing that he hadn’t convinced you quite yet, he adds : 

“Of course, I will pay you.” 

What kind of Pretty Woman sort of nonsense was this ?! You were about to protest when he added, realizing how he sounded : 

“I mean, you ARE doing me a great service. You ARE going to have to act, you know ? An...actual job ? And I will be honest with you, it won’t be easy, to find yourself in the public eye. I think it definitely justify a salary.” 

Put that way, you had to admit that, well, yeah it sort of did. Especially since you knew how crazy tabloids were about Bruce Wayne. Becoming his “girlfriend” would definitely put you on the front lines. 

“And it would truly help me tremendously.” 

Your grandma always said it : “True joy comes out from helping others !” So. What if you benefit from it a little ? If it helps you financially, and you can get a little network out of it ? First rule of Alchemy (what a weeb) : “equivalent exchange” ! Plus, he did really help you with your coffee, but also with Eric and Monica so...

And hey, this gap year was meant to help you find what and who you wanted to be. Help you go through this little twenty-something crisis. And this ? Living a literal romantic comedy cliche by faking being someone’s girlfriend ? Well, it definitely felt like the kind of adventure that could help you figure things out.  

With a smile, you finally nod and shake his hand, not knowing quite yet in which mess you actually put yourself into...

Briefing. 

Like every “secret mission”, this one too needed a “briefing”. 

A little meeting to put all the rules down, and the goals too. 

And here you were, feeling very out of place in a huge conference room in the biggest and tallest building in Gotham : “Wayne Tower”.  

The concierge stared at you for a very long time, when you said you were there to see Mister Wayne. No “nobody” like you ever called for his boss. 

Suspicious, as it was his job, he called security on you...Until it was finally cleared up that you DID have a meeting with Bruce Wayne ! 

Both the concierge, and the security guys, stared at you as you left to take the elevators they indicated to you, wondering who the hell had the kind of credentials to go all the way up there to see their boss ?! They didn’t recognize you from anywhere, not a model, not a famous politician or CEO, just...A regular person ? 

That was odd. And they noticed, it was odd. Which you assumed was what Bruce was aiming for, but it felt so awkward, to walk through this huge hall under their scrutiny. 

You finally arrived on the right floor, and oh look, some more staring. 

From his secretary, this time. She was used to see women coming to see her boss. But they’d usually wear Prada, and have plunging necklines full of pearls and fanciness. They weren’t...like you. 

You felt like it was easy, to know that you were just a “normal” person. You were definitely not wearing any designer clothes, and you were pretty sure the way you carried yourself made you super obvious. 

Hence all the staring. You could clearly see in her eyes, that she was wondering who the hell you were... 

She had her answer when Bruce came out of his office, and made a gesture as if he was going to throw his arm around your waist, and kiss you (which made you downright panic). But then, he looked awkwardly at his secretary, and instead just shook your hand. 

Something that DID NOT go unnoticed by his secretary. 

You saw how her eyes widen, and how she clearly hitched to take her phone out and call everyone...and you realized Bruce did this awkward thing because he knew his secretary, and her tendency to be a little gossipy. 

You’d discover later, in fact, that he hired her entirely because he knew if he said something, she would pick up on it and it would help him control rumors and such. Clever. 

For the moment though, he took you to a large conference room with huge windows. 

“I’m sorry for the weird “hello” back there, I wanted Shirley to think I was embarrassed to display affection to you in front of her. Usually, I do not mind at all. So doing it would make her think that-”

“I’m someone special to you.” 

“Exactly !” 

He smiles widely as you understood his plan (not sure how you felt about it, then again, that’s why you were here for, making sure you knew where both of you stood in all this), and then tells you he’ll be back in a few minutes. 

You have time to feel anxious and stressed before he finally comes back. 

“Sorry for the wait.” 

“Oh no, I bet you’re a busy man.” 

“Yes well. Anyway. Let’s get to it shall we ?” 

“Yes.” 

“Ok. So. I thought we’d settle sort of a little contract, so neither of us ever feel uncomfortable ?” 

“Sounds good, mister Wayne.” 

“Yes well first, please call me Bruce.” 

“Only if you call me (Y/N).” 

Oh and you two were still on the path of “romcom cliches”, with this conversation. He smiles, nods, and continues : 

“Ok, then I thought we could-” 

And so your fake relationship started, with some little ground rules. Like he could only kiss you after you gave him permission, if you ever felt overwhelmed everything would be called off, etc etc. 

Most rules were in your favor, to be honest. And WOW the paycheck he was going to give you for this little farce...Hey, maybe this gap year was finally gonna get interesting ?

Meeting the Little Buddy. 

It was sort of necessary. By then, Dick had been his son, officially, for a few months. He wasn’t calling him “dad” yet (and Bruce didn’t particularly want him to, at the time...ah but everything change one day, right ?), but they were already family. 

And it was a needed step. 

It wasn’t in the little “contract” you made, and honestly you could’ve refused to meet him but...Well, you liked kids. In another life, it felt like you could’ve been a teacher (A/N : AH, like in this story ;) : “Can you be my dad’s girlfriend, please ?” ). 

And you’d feel awkward, to fake a relationship and not ever meet his boy. 

The first time he saw you, it was at the Wayne Tower, and his eyes widened as he exclaimed : 

“Wow you’re so pretty ! Are you Bruce’s girlfriend ? You’re too good for him, you know.” 

You could feel your heart melt, how adorable this little guy was, right ? You chuckled, and almost full on laughed as you saw how vexed Bruce was by the comment. 

Not that he thought he was too good for you, no, he was just a little unhappy his son was stealing the show, and thought he couldn’t land someone like you...Oh but that, you couldn’t guess at the time, of course. 

“Nice to meet you, Dick. I’m (Y/N). And...I’m not really his girlfriend.” 

“Can you be mine then ?” 

You laugh again. You and Bruce had decided to tell him the truth, Bruce assuring you that kid was good at pretending too. You answer : 

“No, I’m saving him from marriage proposal.” 

“Oooooh !” 

Good at pretending. Dick had no idea what you were on about, but he was very good at acting as if he knew. 

It’s only way later, that he finally got it. By then, he already accepted you as : “his dad’s girlfriend”, and even knowing the truth, there was no way to change his mind. And to be honest, out of everyone, little Dick Grayson was probably the most aware of what the situation truly was. 

He had a knack, to notice how people felt. 

A “family” outing.

Two months in, and it was going GREAT. Faking a relationship was actually pretty easy. All you had to do was hanging out with him (and he was very nice to hang out with), and when a paparazzi was around, quickly kiss his cheek, or hold his hand, or let him put his hand in your hair...All those cute things new couples do. 

Today was one such small date. 

You could see Bruce was nervous, though.

After hanging around with him that many times, you started to know him a little better. Started to know he wasn’t really that persona he portrayed publicly.

He was actually quite a dork. What a pity, nobody else would ever know his real self...Yet, it made you happy you were one of the few in on the secret.

“Ok, out with it mister, what’s up ?”

He looks at you with such surprise in his eyes, as if it was the first time someone guessed what he was feeling...and, well, yes. It was. It was the first time someone who wasn’t Alfred got it. Someone realized something was on his mind. And asked him about it, didn't just ignore and move on. Actually cared to know. 

“I-Um...”

“Well ? Come on, I think literally nothing can surprise me by now, given you know, I’m faking a relationship with a billionaire, and it’s like, my job now.”

He smiles, and he couldn't possibly know how soft his look was, as he gazed at you.

“I...well, people don’t quite believe in us because-”

“WHAT ?! With all the “dates” and kisses and lovey dovey shit we did ?!”

He chuckles at your reaction, loving how honest you always were, and adds :

“The problem apparently is that you weren’t seen with my son yet, so many don’t believe we’re serious.”

“Oh...”

You met Dick. Because it felt like a necessary step to yours and Bruce’s scheme. And you knew he knew this was all fake...But neither of you wanted to confuse the boy in any way so he was kept mostly out of the plan.

“I talked to him, and it’s actually really up to wether you’re comfortable with it or not. I know he wasn’t part of our contract, and I should’ve probably thought about it, I’m sorry. But um...If you’re ok with it, we could..Do things with him, too ?”

Bruce is really nervous; And you’re pretty sure no one but you (and maybe Alfred) ever saw him like that. It’s kind of...sweet. But you let the silence linger for too long and he hurries to say :

“You really don’t have to ! It’s ok if they don’t think we’re that serious and I get some proposals. I can manage ! You’re still a great help right now. It was just an idea. Dick is a very social kid, he would go along with anything and loves to do activities outside. He would be fine. But if you’re not then we can-”

“No. No no it’s...It’s ok Bruce. The few time I saw him, Dick did seem absolutely a peach to be around. And I always have fun with you, so sure, let’s organize a little something and show those bastards we’re totally real.”

You chuckle a little, your smile and carefree face making his heart skip a beat, for some reasons...Bruce also decided to ignore how happy it made him, to know you were always glad to be with him, and instead, he smiled and settled a date.

************

And here you were. In one of Gotham’s biggest park, opening a basket full of delicious sandwiches made by the one and only Alfred. Pretending to have a great family outing.

“Hey, hey look !”

Dick was absolutely amazing, at acting as if you were really a thing. As if you were really a “family”. Right now, he was doing flips and cartwheels, demanding your attention with avidity.

Bruce made sure to always hide his face from pictures (he was GREAT at noticing where paparazzis were hiding, a life of practice, you assumed), as he wanted to keep as much as he could his son’s privacy (especially after he made all the headlines when he lost his parents).

It was quite adorable. And...You were really having fun.

Dick was such a lively kid, and he was full of talents. The food was good, and it was so comfortable around Bruce. It felt so natural.

This wasn't all that bad. To fake being a family. A good use of your gap year, really. 

You purposefully decided to ignore the glint in the boy’s eyes. The way you sort of suspected for him, this was getting real, and not only pretend.

You and Bruce purposefully ignored it, actually. And you both felt shitty for it. Because not only were you risking to break that little boy’s heart when it was all over but...It was too hard to accept that maybe, maybe he was right.

And that all of this ? Might’ve not been as fake as you’d love to repeat yourself.

First Official outing. 

First gala. You were terrified. So far all you had to do was hang out with Bruce in the afternoon, there and there. It mainly consisted in him buying you coffee, and keeping the addiction to caffeine real, while talking about anything that would come to your mind. The conversations between you two was always fluid and pleasant. 

Or you’d go out with him and Dick, to do some fun things like mini-golf or catching a movie. Nothing too big and scary. It was mainly just you guys, no one else. 

It seemed like he knew where the paparazzis would be (most likely because he was “anonymously” tipping them off himself), and he’d take you on random short dates when he had time in between his work, slowly fueling the rumors Bruce was not a heart to steal anymore. 

And that he was dating a “commoner” ! (He hated this name for you, while you really didn’t mind that much). 

And this gala, was what made it completely official. Finally. It was your idea, to take things “slow”, and hang out with him and his son BEFORE hanging out in public areas like this. 

It was clever, really. To make it seems like you were trying to “hide” your relationship by being low-key, to then finally announce everything in public like that, at such an event. 

Bruce went to get a drink for the both of you, and you were looking around you, horrified at the mere idea that someone would come talk to you. 

But for some reasons, nobody seemed to dare. Maybe Bruce made sure that people would leave you alone ? Even as if you were clearly the talk of the evening, all eyes on you, and not even trying to be subtle ? 

You knew he did the same with little Dickie. That he made sure he was safe from the paparazzi and that no unsolicited journalist would come around him.

Thinking of it, where was the little one ? Usually, according to Bruce, whenever there was a gala he would spend his entire time near the food table, eating as much as he could, and he would come home feeling nauseous because of it...Haha sounded like Dick alright. That kid was so-

Oh oh.

Who was that sleazy looking gal talking to him ? He seemed so uncomfortable, yet too polite to brush her off...Oh no, she wasn’t one of them, was she ?

Without thinking twice about it, wether it was your place to do what you were about to do or not, you resolutely walked towards them.

“-Think it’s because he relates to you ? As both of you lost your parents in horrific situations, you know ?”

“I-I don’t know m’am.”

When you saw Dick’s distressed face, and his eyes slowly filling with tears, there was no doubt in your mind.

This woman was not supposed to be there, and was definitely not supposed to talk to that child...

This woman was a - shiver of disgust- tabloid journalist.

Your blood boiled as you saw her take a picture of the teary eyed Dickie, and you were standing protectively in front of him before you could even think about it. When you felt the boy clutch to your sleeve, hiding behind you and holding on for dear life, you knew you wouldn’t regret it.

“Can I ask you why you’re talking to that boy, please ?”

“What, it’s illegal to talk to fellow guests now ?”

“Lady, you’re well in your thirties. He’s eight. You have no right talking to him. Not only is it weird, but I know what you’re doing.”

“Oh, and pray tell, what am I doing, lovey ?” 

“You’re trying to get a story out of him. And you should be ashamed of yourself. He’s eight ! And from what I heard, you were asking some very disgusting things back there !” 

“I-”

“Shut up.”

Your words came out harsh and determined, and the woman was so shocked she stayed silent for a while. You crouch down to Dick’s level, and ask : 

“Are you ok, my little buddy ?” 

He nods weakly, and then burst into tears as he launches himself in your arms, clinging to you tightly. You turn your head towards the woman, glaring at her so fiercely she doesn’t dare to take a picture of the scene, even as she knows she could sell them for a golden price. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself. He’s just a child !” 

The woman was about to say something else, something you knew would fuel your anger further, when Bruce arrived, and it was clear from his face that he was not happy. 

A quick look to you holding his crying son in your arms, and to the lady with the camera in her hands, and he understand what happened. With a cold voice you never heard him use before, he says : 

“I suggest you leave the area now, before I force you to.” 

There was something almost scary, in his demeanor. Almost like...No. Impossible. In any case, you didn’t worry about it much, drawing soothing circles with your hand on Dick’s back, trying to calm him. 

People around quickly stopped staring as they met Bruce’s assassin glare. It was not secret, that he was very protective of his son. And of his new girlfriend, apparently. 

You picked the little boy in your arms (Dick, at the time, was still so tiny), and Bruce comes closer, trying to soothe him too. And it really looked like all this was real...

Dick fell asleep in Bruce’s arms shortly after that, and was still there when it was time for the gala official pictures. Not wanting to wake him up, for once, Bruce allowed people to photograph the boy, as long as they did not frame his face. 

He laid his free hand on the small of your back, and just like you got used to those past months, you pretend to be head over heels for him and have one of your own arm around his waist.  

“Would you please allow me to kiss you on the cheek, for the cameras ?”

His question is so sweet, softly whispered in your ears. And you felt like a tease tonight, and maybe a little tipsy too. You tell him : 

“On the cheek only ? Let’s give them a show no ? Let them forget about what happened with Dick.”

Of course, you’re only joking, but there’s a light in Bruce’s eyes you haven’t seen before and...It disappears quickly. He chuckles, of that low chuckles that would charm anyone in the world, and says :

“I don’t want to force you to do anything you wouldn’t want to. Actually kissing me, I realize, might be too much.”

You know he caught on your joke, but you can’t brush off that light in his eyes that ignited when you suggested to kiss him...You don’t know why, and it feels you’re not controlling your own words, as you hear yourself say :

“Oh because kissing you would be such a horrible thing wouldn’t it ? Oh my, you’re only one of the handsomest man in Gotham, a rather attractive fella, how could I handle kissing you ? So disgusting !”

Your tone is teasing, and a little bit challenging. He catches on that, too. He answers : 

“But I am merely here to serve. I will do as you wish. You only have to say the words.” 

His smile fills your vision. His face. And the way he softly holds your waist, even as his other arms is carrying his son (the man was BUILT). And you think...Well, fuck it ! It was time for the first (fake) kiss, right ? 

Right here, in front of the cameras, where everyone was seeing you. Making it go full circle. Making it “official”. 

“Kiss me then, if you dare.” 

You simply say. Releasing a breath you were unaware you were keeping in. And he feels his heart squeeze, and as if he’s sweating a bit. When was the last time he was nervous about kissing a woman ? 

He couldn’t remember. 

And then he kisses you, the flashes of cameras slowly fading away as his lips melt onto yours. 

Wow. What a perfect, and nice, first kiss. 

As fake as it might be.

Your room. 

Your room at Wayne Manor was bigger than your entire apartment. 

You and Bruce decided that sometimes, so you wouldn’t raise any suspicion, you’d sleep at the Manor. Paparazzi were so on top of everything, it would seem weird if he was in a “committed relationship” and you never slept at his place. 

So Alfred settled a room for you. 

Oh. Alfred ! You met him not long ago, and he was the best ! 

It felt like he could magically guess what you wanted when you wanted it, and magically appeared with that warm cup of tea you craved, or that meal you’ve been thinking about all day. 

But beyond that, he was genuinely nice and made sure to make you as comfortable as possible. He showed you around, and his conversation was so pleasant ! 

You could actually see a lot of Bruce in him. Or, rather, it was evident that Alfred had raised Bruce most of his life, because they had a lot of similar mannerism, and were both kind and caring (Ah, imagine if Superman knew what you thought of Bruce, how crazy it’d sound to him eh ? But of course, that you’d discover way WAY later). 

You never went to explore much when it was time to go to bed, too afraid to get lost. This place was huge, and you never quite had a good sense of orientation. 

One could only wonder, what would you have discovered if you ever dared to wake up during the night, and explore his home ?

Build a Bear. 

Sometimes, Bruce really had to wrack his brain for original date ideas. Ever since he came back to Gotham, his dating days consist of pretending to sleep with every model in the World. 

He’d take them to fashion shows, to galas, to charity events...All very public places, unsuitable for a “serious” relationship like he was hoping to make yours and his pass for. 

Enter : Clever little Dickiebird, who always had an idea (and who might’ve been the best wingman someone like the Batman needed...that, of course, he’d discover it way, WAY later) :

“You can take her to a build a bear !” 

“Build...a bear ?” 

“Yeah, you know. You go and you make your own teddy bear !” 

“I do know, I took you to get Chester - the name of Dick’s favorite plushie toy now, and maybe with which he slept-. But...For a date ?” 

“What ? It’s cute and intimate !” 

“Huh ?” 

It has been a long time, since Alfred Pennyworth had to hold his laughter in that hard, and try to stay impeccably neutral. And there, faced with his master Bruce, who was known as the “ultimate womanizer”, the “perfect playboy”, and who was currently taking advice from his eight years old son...It was really hard to keep a straight face. 

It was also incredibly adorable. Especially how Bruce seemed to genuinely listen to the little one, unaware that he seemed actually way too interested for things just to be for his “fake relationship” to be more convincing. 

Not that Alfred was going to tell Bruce anything. 

“Dick, you know (Y/N) isn’t really my girlfriend, right ?” 

The way the boy talked about taking you to a date, felt to Bruce like he was forgetting this was all fake. And it was important to remind him.

But Dick had to invoke all the efforts in the world to not roll his eyes as to say : “sure she isn’t”, by now, it was oh so obvious to everyone but you and Bruce that there was a very real thing forming between you two. 

Instead, he said : 

“But you’re suppose to make the public really believe it right ? If you take her to build a bear, I can assure you they will think you guys are the real deal.” 

Bruce pondered this for a little bit, and realized that his son was right. It did seem like a cute and intimate date to bring your girl to, even if she was your fake girl...

Ah. Bruce forgot his own words. “Dick is great at pretending.” He is. He really is. Just like right now, he was pretending his idea was completely innocent, while he knew it would bring you two ever so closer. 

That whenever you’d see those bears you were going to build in your home, you’d think of one another. And remember fondly of the memory. 

And oh. Oh that boy was right. 

Your bear was sitting proudly on your couch, and every time you saw it, you remembered how clumsy Bruce had been, filling his own bear up. And how cute he was, carefully thinking of his options. 

And every time Bruce saw his own bear, that Alfred, for some reason, settled in the Batcave on the “trophy shelves” (and for some reason Bruce didn’t take it off of it...), he couldn’t help but think how he had genuine fun that day. 

Genuine fun, for the first time in what felt like ages. And how your smiling and giggling face didn’t seem to leave his mind, whenever he saw that bear...

Conniving traitors. 

“We both agree, he’s in love with her right ? He’s just too dense to realize it.” 

“Oh yes, young Master Richard, he definitely is. And he is dense, at times.” 

“Should we do anything ?”

“No more than what you’re already doing.” 

“Which is ?” 

“Which is continuing to push them in the...Right direction.”

“Oh ! I get it ! I’ll keep going Al’!” 

“And I’m sure you’ll make miracles, young master.” 

Dick’s smile to the old butler was so pure and happy, that Alfred had a hard time keeping his composure once again. 

And oh. Oh how he wish they were right, and that his Master Bruce would FINALLY allow himself to be happy... 

Rumors and Truth 

Bruce was just a tiny bit older than you. 24, according to his wikipedia page. 

And you couldn't help but be a little jealous, as you were looking at the page to re-enroll yourself in Gotham’s university, knowing he was done with college.

Then again, he was obviously a genius and would’ve been done faster than you anyway, even if you were the same age, since he finished his PhD just the year before, while most people don't even START their doctorate until they're around 23/24. 

Mmmm. Made you think. Was this just yet another rumors about the man ? 

Maybe not, after all it was proven he started college at age 14, and in Ivy Leagues ones, all across the world. 

From Cambridge, to Oxford, without forgetting La Sorbonne (A/N : by the way, this is canon haha, Bruce really did start college that early and went to many different places, and honestly, is anyone surprised ?). 

This wasn't really something you absolutely couldn't believe, compared to other crazy rumors about him. And you knew he WAS smart. 

By then, you couldn't count how many things were circulating about him, and how hard it was to know the truth from just plain old rumors. 

He had over a thousand lovers, he had MORE than one PhD (impossible, right ?), he had died once but survived somehow, he was part of a cult, he often lost his status as a billionaire because he gave so much money to charities and such, but his companies meddled in so many areas that his bank account was always filled more and more…

Honestly that last part didn't really surprise you. You saw him gave his money away to things he cared about (like education and medical care) without a second thoughts, so the fact he constantly oscillated between "billionaire" and "multi-millionaire" didn't really surprise you, not when you knew him like you did now. 

You totally trusted the rumors that said that by now, he gave away more than he currently owned. It sounded like him alright…But how to know the truth from the downright crazy ? Did he really have a PhD or was this just an addition to how special and different Bruce Wayne was in Gotham ? What kind of PhD did he have anyway ? 1000 lovers, really ?!

So many questions. And not a lot of answers. Even if you grew closer (as friends, of course), Bruce was still somewhat of a mystery to you. 

He never really tried to dismiss rumors, even the bad ones (unless they touched his son). Which made you wonder if they were true or not. And you really, really, for some reasons, wanted to know more about him...

“Is something the matter ?” 

He asks. Oh goddamn you, day dreaming on one of your regular “coffee date”. 

You shake your head, sipping on your drink and say : 

“Was just thinking about...Tabloids.” 

“Ah.” 

He frowns. For understandable reasons.

“I was just thinking about wether some rumors were true or not.” 

“What do you think is not true ?” 

“I don’t really know, and you never really say a rumor is false so it’s hard to know.” 

“Do you want to know anything in particular ?” 

Bruce knows it’s dangerous, to let you enter his private life like that. There’s a reason, after all, why he never dismisses any rumors. 

It helped build his fake persona, and take away any suspicions that he might be the infamous Batman. 

But he felt weak, around you. As if he just wanted to please you, no matter what. Sometimes, he felt dangerously close to just tell you : “ask me anything and I’ll tell you the truth”, even if it meant revealing his night activities...

Crazy, right ? 

He knew it was. And that he shouldn’t let it happen. Yet here he was, asking if you wanted to know something. Craving your attention. It felt so unlike him. But...You seemed to unlock a certain part of him. 

The one that didn’t die with his parents, and remained hidden. The one that was the old little Bruce, full of hope, honesty and happiness. Full of wish for the future...Even if he knew there was none. 

“How was college, for you ?” 

You hear yourself asking, really wondering if it was true he was 14 when he started, and if it was...How different you guys were, right ? You were 21 right now, and taking a gap year after two years of college...When he was your age, he had already finished a master (or even maybe two). 

"My college years were actually pretty boring, and unlike some rumors say, weren't particularly wild. I was really young."

"Ah, I heard the rumors."

"Those are true, I'm afraid haha."

"Afraid ? You're a genius !"

Which is why you found, more and more, his "himbo" persona to be odd. WHat was Bruce Wayne trying to hide ? Mmm…

Bruce recognized that look in your eyes. The look of someone who was onto something, and it was too frightening to let it happen. So he said :

"Yes well, I feel I missed a lot, during those years. Which is why I make it up now hahaha !"

His boisterous laughter seemed genuine, and totally fooled you. You couldn't always be on top of everything eh ? And this, did answer your question about his himbo persona…Oh, Bruce was good.

And he knew it. He trained for years, to make sure nobody would ever even suspect him to be Batman.

But he had to be careful with you. He knew it. It was obvious. You weren't that easy to fool…

The Day Batman saved you. 

The fact he had to be careful with you was confirmed not long after. When, as Batman, he came to your rescue.

He should’ve known, that even with a voice changer, and a mask covering most his face, plus a demeanor that was completely different from his usual one, you’d still get suspicious...He should’ve known because he, by then, knew you quite well. 

But, what ? Was he suppose to just let you get mugged ? 

He couldn’t. 

Even if in the grand scheme of things, it would’ve been better, and he would definitely intervene if it got too rough...He couldn’t. 

He couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, or feeling distressed.

He knew this was stupid. That he shouldn’t get so attached. That muggings weren’t really his area of expertise, that to stop them, he had to hit the big bosses. He knew. Small thugs weren’t his target. He had a much bigger vision. And rationally, he should be somewhere else right now. 

Yet he couldn’t resolve himself to. Because, and that was a dangerous thought and feeling, he was in l- 

“Why are we spying on your girlfriend ?” 

Dick’s voice takes him out of his reveries, good. It WAS getting dangerous. Still keeping you in his field of vision (you were slowly going back to your apartment, a few minutes still, and he could leave to do other things knowing you were safe and sound in your home), he answered :  

“We’re not spying on her, we’re making sure she’s safe. And she’s not my girlfriend, you know that.” 

“Oh yeah ? We’ve been following your “totally not girlfriend” since the night started, awfully looks to me like we’re um, you know, stalking her.”

“We’re not.” 

“Suuuuuuuuuure.” 

Bruce gives an annoyed look to his son, who had way too big a smug face right now, and says : 

“The night is calm, if something comes up we’ll go. But right now, it’s alright. And it has been made official, that she and I are a couple.” 

“Fake couple.” 

“Fake one to us, not to the public eye.” 

“Ooooooh !” 

Connections were quickly made in the boy’s head, and he understood why they were following her. After all, this was Gotham. And if THE Bruce Wayne had ONE known lover...Well, it was easy to know it’d attract some nasty business. 

Dick was about to make a smug remark of which he had a talent for, when it happened. He pointed at you, fear in his eyes, and Bruce focused your way again. 

“Stay here.” 

“What why ?! I wanna help her too !” 

“Because she’s too smart not to put two and two if she sees you with me. She knows us in our day lives. She’ll recognize us for sure, if we’re together.”

“Oh...”

“Just stay still, ok ?” 

“Ok.” 

Without a second thought, Bruce jumped down in the street down below, under Dick’s worried eyes. If anything happened to you, he knew his dad would never be the same again. 

And he knew he couldn’t bear to lose yet another person he cared about. Even loved. Yes. Yes Dick loved you, as if you really were part of his family...

The months of “faking” family outings made it so. Your worst fear happened. Dick was getting attached, hardcore. And he really hoped you and Bruce would figure out you were actually in love with each others before the end of your “contract”, and before his sometimes very dense dad would decide to let you go...

For now though, he was anxiously looking at Bruce making his way to you, after he spotted a suspicious group of men genuinely stalking you. 

************

“Hey pretty girl, can we talk ?” 

You stop in your track, turning around, cursing yourself for not having the instinct to just take off running. Oh. But you can see at least one of them has a gun. You can’t run faster than a bullet... 

“Ah it is you, isn’t it ?” 

You don’t answer, knowing what they mean. Bruce sort of warned you against this. But you didn't take his warnings seriously, and here you were, going home at night, something he definitely told you not to do. 

You just couldn’t sleep that night, and needed a walk...And here you were. 

“You’re gonna come nicely with us, right ?” 

“I dont’ think so.” 

Uh ? You’re pretty sure that weird robotic voice wasn’t yours. Even if that’s exactly what you wanted to say. And that’s...oh wow. 

That’s when you see him. Batman. 

Immediately, the atmosphere grow even tenser. And you can see the thugs who wanted to take you with them fearfully looking at him. 

“This has nothing to do with you Batman, leave us alone, we didn’t do anything wrong !” 

“It has everything to do with me. Leave.” 

“We have to-You don’t understand. We have to take her to-” 

“Nowhere. Leave.” 

Even if he was protecting you, you had to admit that, that dude was frightening. He had his back to you, and even then, he looked so intimidating and tall and broad...

Bruce was tall and broad too. But he was soft and sweet, not scary at all.

“OH MY GOD LOOK OUT !!” 

One of the thug had a gun pointed at Batman. Right at his head. He didn’t have the time to enforce his helmet yet, and if he shot around his mouth, he was done for...

A rock coming out of nowhere hit the thug right in the face. 

Coming out of nowhere ? To you, maybe. But Bruce knew that this was little Dickie’s doing. “Robin always has Batman’s back”, he said often...

For the time being, the one taking his gun out being knocked out triggered a “fight or flight” reaction in the others, and as two took off running (and were mysteriously hit by rocks too, knocking them out), three decided to attack Batman. 

Bad move. 

Very bad move. 

In a matter of second, it was over. 

He turns to you, and it’s hard to discern any emotions with his lighted eyes and mask. He asks : 

“Are you alright, (Y/N) ?” 

“How-How do you know my name ?”

“Well, you’re Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend, right ?” 

There was no hesitation in Bruce’s voice as, as soon as he pronounced your name, he knew he messed up...but he trained himself to think quickly. And this “fake” relationship was a perfect excuse, of course. Everyone in Gotham knew about you two, by now. 

“Oh, right, ok.” 

You seemed a bit disappointed, and Bruce couldn’t quite understand why...

It only hits him later, as he was going to bed, why you looked like that. And it made hi heart beat widely. Because he was pretty sure that it was because you sort of hoped Bruce talked to “Batman about you...Oh...Oh this was getting dangerous. 

But of course, Bruce had a reputation to be the one funding Batman’s gadget (a really good cover for the fact he was actually Batman). So they’d know each others...

But right there and then, as he just saved you, you felt so stupid, hoping that Bruce would’ve talked to you to Batman. Why would he ? How the hell would your name even show up in a conversation between Bruce Wayne and Batman (but oh, if you knew you occupied his thoughts many times, and who he really was, maybe you’d feel less bad ? It was, in a way, Bruce talking about you to Batman, right ?). 

You smiled weakly and shyly at this impressive being in front of you, and thanked him one more time. He nods, smiling too (oh ?), and bid you farewell. 

Ah. But Bruce didn’t notice your eyes go wide, as he took off with his grappling hook, and you caught the side of his face in a certain light...

Fake ?

"You know, he smiles more when you’re around.” 

Dick tells you once, you look at him curiously, as he continues : 

“And before you say it’s “all pretend”, let me tell you there’s a difference between this smile and the fake one. Look, that’s how he pretend.” 

On that note, he looked at you and smiled widely, exaggeratedly, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. And it was so like how Bruce portrayed himself in public, that it made you chuckle. 

It also scared you a little. 

Not because there was a possibility Bruce did smile more around you, but because as that little boy was being silly, and now imitating his adopted father further and oh so perfectly...You felt a surge of love for him. 

And that wasn’t good. 

Because the day, which was coming soon now, you’d have to “dump” Bruce Wayne, you wouldn’t be able to see that little one again...why would you ? 

It’d be too weird, right ? Someone like you, once “broken up”, would have no reasons or ways to ever interact with billionaire Bruce Wayne or his son ever again. 

That little boy was the sweetest child you ever met. He suffered a great loss so early in his life, and there he was, making you laugh and being nice by saying you made his dad genuinely smile. 

It hurt, to know that one day, you wouldn’t see him again. That he’d grow up, and you wouldn’t know what he became. 

You were sure he was destined to become a great man, and you wished you could see it...No. No this was bad. This was so bad. 

“I mean it you know.” 

His little voice brings your attention back to him. 

“I think you make him happy. With you, it feels he can be himself. He laughs more, really laughs. And it’s often that he tells me “oh this makes me think of (Y/N)” and calls you. He doesn’t need to call you for the fake relationship thing, right ? Yet he does. That means something. I think he likes you.” 

You shake your head, smiling at this little boy’s wild imagination. No way. No way was THE Bruce Wayne falling for you in any way. Were you guys becoming real friends ? Sure. But it definitely stopped there. Right ?

Oh but if only you knew Dick had a knack to see this kind of things, and to guess people’s real feelings. If only you knew, that yes, Bruce was starting to fall for you...It would make the next episode way less painful for you. 

“Catch me dead before you catch me catching feelings” - You to yourself, a few days before starting a fake relationship with THE Bruce Wayne. 

“Fuck you” - You to yourself, almost six months in faking a relationship with Bruce Wayne. 

This was...bad. 

Soon enough, you and Bruce will break this entire deal off, you will “dump” him, and you’d go on your separate ways. And...

This was bad. 

Why ? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST HANG OUT WITH THIS AMAZING CHARMING MAN AND THAT’S IT ? Why ? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND CATCH....

Catch...

Catch those body shivering “feelings”. 

Not just for Bruce though. But for the little buddy too. 

You felt yourself fall for Bruce slowly, and as if it was completely out of your control. But you also felt like if Dick wasn't in your life anymore...You wouldn’t feel whole again. Like he was sort of your son, too, by then. 

This was so bad. How did you get yourself in this mess ? What was that FIRST rule you gave yourself when all this started ? 

Right, “Catch me dead before I catch feelings”. Damn it. 

Thanks GOD the “marrying season” was finally coming to an end. Both you and Bruce settled you’d wait a few weeks after it to make your break-up official, so nobody would be tempted to cancel any wedding plans to try and force their daughter onto him.  

And it couldn’t happen soon enough. 

Being around him now, faking being in love, was torture to you. 

Kissing him knowing he felt nothing. Holding his hand in public while you knew in your heart he was just putting a show still. And hanging out with him feeling that you had absolutely no chance of this ever evolving...

It hurt.

It hurt so bad. 

And you were slowly hoping you never agreed to being his fake girlfriend. Being a living cliche, the money and the fame were REALLY not worth the heartache. 

So not worth it...

The end...?

"Well mister Wayne, it has truly been a pleasure to be your "girlfriend" haha. Seriously, I had a lot of fun, and a little revenge on life. You know, I saw Eric and Monica not long ago. They tried to become my friends again, knowing I was with you. It was great, to ignore them like they ignored them. You’re right, they’re really not worth it. And honestly I still don’t think we’re even after they hurt me like they did but...In the end, they looked so outraged. Win-win, really. Thank you very much."

"Thank YOU, for playing along and doing more than you bargained for. You really saved me a lot of hassle and…I had fun, too."

Your taxi was pulling in front of the Manor, and honked as he parked. Clearly, not a very patient driver.

"Well, see you around, Bruce ! If you're not too busy, you know…I kinda consider you a friend by now ?"

"Me, too."

Bruce lied. A "friend" ? No, it couldn't cover and explain all his feelings for you. A "friend". How ridiculous.

As you walked away, giving him a last smile, Bruce felt a pang in his chest.

A painful and yet happy one. A longing one. One that told him that "friend" wasn't what he wanted to be…Not anymore…

But was there really a future for you and him ? Probably not. His nightly activities would get in the way. You deserve more than the life he could give you. Being his "fake" girlfriend, you only took part in his public matters. Part in a fake world full of nice things, that was far from his actual life.

"Friend", he wished he could be more to you than this.

But he knew.

He knew that for your own good, he had to stay away. And oh, oh how he wished he could be more than just your "friend" or "fake" boyfriend. 

Yet he watched as you walked away. Without doing anything. 

He watched you leave, and felt the hole in his heart expand a little more. But didn’t try to catch you, or stop you from leaving. 

And your taxi was already far, now. On its way to Gotham. 

"So you gonna run after her oooor…??"

Dick's little voice takes him out of his reveries.

“Mmm ?” 

“(Y/N). Are you gonna run after her, or stand there looking like a sad puppy for the rest of your life ?” 

“I do not look like a sad puppy.” 

“Yes you do, and you know it. Come on dad, why are you doing this ?” 

This was the first time Dick called him dad. Which didn’t go unnoticed to Bruce. It meant...It meant something was definitely happening. He felt it in his heart. Something that was dangerous. Oh so dangerous. 

Hope. Like the “old Bruce” had. Hope. Full of it. Before his parents were murdered in front of him, for no reasons. Meaningless. 

Hope. 

To have a family again. Ah. But...Being with you was impossible. And Dick would be enough. He would. He was already enough... 

“How long are ya gonna torture yourself exactly ?” 

That boy was too smart for his own good. Bruce said : 

“I’m not. I just...I can’t be with her.” 

“I cAn’T bE wITh hEr !! ...Why ?!” 

“You saw what happened, when it was made official we were together. She almost died.” 

“And you saved her. Your point being ?” 

“Dick...”

“Don’t -he takes a mock Bruce voice- “Dick” me mister ! You’re afraid to be happy, and I won’t have it. You gave me another chance to have a family. A dad. And I’m not about to let my dad punish himself for feeling good. You told me yourself my parents would like for me to be happy. Well yours would too, you big idiot ! So now, you listen to me.” 

Dick, meaning business, jumps on the stairs’ bannister to sort of be on eye level with Bruce, and says, pointing his finger at him : 

“You take one of those fancy useless sport car, and you run after her. Capish ?” 

There’s a moment of silence. During which Bruce is unsure of what to do. And then...Then he smiles at his son. 

His son. 

“Capish”, he simply says, and he rushes towards the garage’s entrance, under Dick’s happy look. 

Success. 

Bruce’s car was leaving the estate, when Alfred joined Dick at the front door. 

“You did it, Master Richard.” 

“I hope I did !” 

“Oh you did. You did. Thank you. Thank you for taking care of my son...”

Dick turned to Alfred, who couldn’t keep a straight face this time. Small tears gathered in the old man’s eyes, and sweet little Dick did not hesitate one second before jumping into his arms and giving him one of his famous “Grayson special” hug. 

It’s real. 

Back to square one. 

You. A bad day. Looking like a mess (this time not because of the rain, but because you cried a lot). Your gap year almost over and still not knowing who you were. With no coffee, but at least, you had a tub of ice cream. 

You already missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. 

You couldn’t believe those six months of “faking” would end up meaning so much to you, and feel so devastating as they ended. 

You wish you had never met Bruce. And that you’d been ridiculed by Eric and Monica, that your life would still be pathetic...Pathetic maybe, but at least, your heart wasn’t completely shattered. 

You don’t hear the hurried knocks on your door, at first. Entranced by your own sadness. It’s only when they become loud and insistant you react. 

You really hope it’s not a journalist. They sort of tried to talk to you so many times, since you “dumped” Bruce...You knew he made sure that they’d stay away, but some were particularly persistent. 

Including that awful woman from the charity, who was asking Dick those horrible questions. “Vicky Vale”, was her name, apparently. What a witch. 

Clearly, the knocking wasn’t gonna go away, so you stood up, settled your tub of ice cream on your coffee table, and went to the door, ready to fight if need be. 

But there was no need for fights. 

At least, not in the literal sense of the term. 

“Bruce ?” 

He seems out of breath. Incredible, given how in shape he was. He doesn’t really leave you any time to say anything else, as he blurts out :

“I was wrong.”

He blurts out out of nowhere, and you’re even more confused. Before you could ask what was all this about, he adds : 

“I was wrong. When I said you were the right person because you were “normal”. You’re everything, BUT “just a regular person”. You’re the most fantastic woman I’ve ever met. You decided to help a total stranger just because. I know I helped you before, but it doesn’t compare to what you did for me. Especially on a matter that seems so silly to me now. You put yourself in a very awkward position for someone you didn’t even know. In front of the public, for a guy like me. You knew I was a “playboy”, and that I could very well use you. Yet you still put up with it. You accepted my son, even as you didn’t have to. Even as, just like me, you are so young. You were nice to Dick, even if all you needed to do was pretend. You’re...You’re...You’re just something else entirely. It feels like you know me, the real me. Like you can read my very soul. Like you’re the only one for me. I’ve known for a long time. I ignored it because I was afraid of what that meant but...but a certain little one made me realize this was time. It’s time to move on. It’s time to allow myself to be happy. And so, here I am.”

Was this...it ? The point of your gap year ? To discover that finding yourself...Meant finding your soulmate ? 

It sounded silly. While at the same time, not. Because you felt it. You felt it deep within you. From the moment Bruce handed you that twenty dollars bill, fate was in motion. 

You meeting Eric and Monica wasn’t bad luck. It was the opposite. It was the Universe’s push towards your real Destiny. 

Towards Bruce. 

“You’re not saying anything. Is this bad ? Or does it mean I blew your mind away ? I’m clearly hoping for the latter...”

Over the months, you discovered how huge of a dork Bruce Wayne could be. Even as if there was often a darkness right behind his smiles. Deep within his eyes. You discovered he wasn’t always this cocky arrogant man he portrayed himself to be while in public. How he was actually pretty funny and oh so empathetic. How...How so many things, the list seemed endless in your mind. 

And it only added to everything, that he looked so unsure. And so you smile. You just smile at him. And everything you feel is in that smile. 

You don’t even realize you’re holding each others now, and that you’re kissing...

It’s not pretend this time. 

A real first kiss. 

Though maybe all your kisses until now weren’t as fake as you pretended them to be. 

In any case, this, right now, is a real kiss alright. 

A real one. 

Full of all the pent up emotions. Free of all the fear and hurt you both felt as you realized you were in love with the other one, yet you thought things were all “fake”. 

Because it wasn't fake. It wasn’t. 

“I love you.” 

You don’t know who said it first. You, or him. You felt so in sync, that it didn’t matter. What is sure, is that you both said it. Before you closed the door to your apartment, leading him in. 

Before you spend the night in each other’s arms.

Bruce not even thinking about going out as Batman..

For the first time in years, he decided to fully embrace being happy. 

“You always told me my parents would wish for me to be happy, well yours too !” Dick said. And oh, he was so right.

By the way, I’m Batman. Surprise. 

“It’s not like I didn’t know, you know.” 

“Huh ?” 

Oh. Oh the delight to see that surprised expression on Bruce’s face. It was quite a rare one, really. And as he finally gathered the courage to tell you who he really was, risking losing you in the process but wanting to show you his full self...

It was particularly delightful. 

“Busted you on that night you saved me. As if I wasn’t going to recognized that jawline.” 

“Wait, really ? I really thought you bought my lies !” 

“Well now, you know not to underestimate me.” 

“I...Do.”

A natural smile reaches his face, and he approaches you, pulling you to him, and laying a soft kiss on your lips. Feeling fully accepted and loved, like never before. And he could see you-

“Oh NO EWWWWWW !!!” 

You pull away from Bruce’s kiss (noticing his slow grumble, displeased to lose  your warmth), and look at little Dickie (your son too, now !), staring at you two, looking disgusted. 

“Get a ROOOOM !!” 

This makes you laugh. A lot. And oh. Oh how would you ever guess, in that moment, that one day, this “get a room !!” said in such a disgusted tone would be the trademark of your children (SIX OF THEM) whenever they’d see you and Bruce display any sort of affection to one another ? 

You couldn’t guess, of course. But even in that moment, as you softly laughed, in Bruce’s arms, while looking at your son now making exaggerated noises and acting silly, you knew this...

This was what you’ve been looking for during this gap year. 

This was who you were. 

Right there. 

At the heart of a loving family, even if right now, it was just the three of you (four, let’s not forget Alfred !). 

The end. 

_________________________________________________

And here we are. I hope you liked it ? I feel particularly nervous about this one haha. Don’t hesitate to leave a little comment and reblog :),  It’s always greatly appreciated, and encouraging :D. Thanks in advance, and see you soon with a new story ! 

[script-nef]

So why won’t you realise it '^' | Gojou Satoru

Category: fluff

1.9k words; Movie date [2/6]

Spoilers of Howl’s Moving Castle!! Beware!!

← Previous chapter | Masterlist

“Eh, Shouko! What do you mean you can’t make it?”

“I mean, another person is about to come in and they need me to heal them. By the time I’m done the movie will be finished.” Shouko’s voice over the phone is laced with annoyance and sadness coupled with lethargy. You don’t know how she pulls off such a unique combination of emotions but she somehow accomplishes it every time. “And I was looking forward to it…”

This would have been the first time you had a break with her since the trip to France. And while she enjoyed it a lot, the same couldn’t be said for the two males. Which was weird since Gojou is infatuated with sweets and Ken-chan agreed to come. So it was kind of weird when there was a tense atmosphere between them. You know your brother and Gojou are nearly polar opposites, but their animosity wasn’t usually that strong. 

They brushed it off as nothing when you asked if something was wrong, which was sort of dubious since you could kind of see the black cloud looming over the both of them, but you let it go. If it was something important, they would be able to handle it themselves or report it to you. You couldn’t sense any cursed spirits nearby so you guessed that they were just in a bad mood for some reason.

Still, you had a wonderful time and found some new snacks that everyone enjoyed. So a day well spent, all in all. 

And Ken-chan told you to tell him if Gojou ever offers overseas trips or anything similar, so he must have enjoyed it. Maybe you can ask Gojou to take all of you to Denmark one day.

“Ah… my dear Howl. Life and curses separate us again.” Her voice is full of sadness now, no doubt mourning over her chance of watching her favourite character on a huge screen with surround sound disappearing. 

“It’s okay! I’ll bring you the figurine and we can watch it again here in about… uh…”

“Ten years?” She sounds like she’s about to drop dead.

“Uh… yes… But maybe five years? Hopefully? You know, I shouldn’t watch it without you. I’ll come back to school.” 

“No, no. Watch the movie. At least you’ll get to see it. Ah, they’re coming now so I have to go.”

“Ah, okay. Bye, Shouko! Stay positive!”

A non-committal sigh accompanies a small “Bye” before the call clicks off. A frown takes over your face at the lost opportunity for her. She was looking forward to this for a long time and you leapt at the chance for another girls’ day out. Being able to watch a childhood favourite is an added bonus. But now you’re standing in the movie theatre, the ticket desk just across the room and an extra on your hand. 

It’s a shame because it cost quite a lot. Shouko is definitely going to mope about this when you get back and maybe start smoking again. She always has a pack on her even if she said she quit, and smokes one if she’s stressed or angry. You should call someone and make sure somebody takes it away from her.

You should probably hold onto the ticket and give it back. Or maybe that would make it worse for her, serving as a reminder of this day. Conflict rages inside your head. There’s a high possibility of either decision breaking her heart. Again. A buzz from your phone saves you the trouble of deciding.

Shouko: I sent someone as my replacement. 

A tap on the shoulder makes you turn as you type in a reply and you come face to face with a black jacket. Gojou’s head pops down.

“Hey there. I think you called for a replacement!” He seems to be in a ridiculously good mood, even more so than usual. Maybe his students successfully finished another mission. Which is great. It also means more paperwork for you. Which is not so great.

“How did you com—ah. Teleportation.”

“Ding ding ding! Correct!” He's been using the skill more frequently lately, popping in and out of places like one of those Whac-A-Mole games. . It gives you heart attacks all the time and you’re sure he gets a kick out of it. You saw how his smiles widen when you flinch or react. Thankfully it’s when you’re alone so other people never see you jump what feels like a metre into the air.

“Do you want popcorn?” He breaks you out of your thoughts. “I think they have the new caramel flavour. Apparently it’s way too sweet.” So perfect for Gojou. Even though he’s asking if you want it, there’s a spring in his step which definitely means he’s getting some. Probably the biggest option they have.

And you’re proven right because he comes back with two huge buckets which look impossible to finish. When you try to object, he cuts off with “I’ve eaten three buckets before. Alone.” With the smile he’s giving you, it really doesn’t sound like he’s joking. You try to take one to lighten the load but he says it’s alright. 

He signals the way to the theatre rooms with his head, walking beside you as you find your way.

“So what’s the movie?” Your head snaps to him in confusion.

“You don’t know?” A shake and a shrug. “It’s Howl’s Moving Castle. This was Shouko’s idea since she loves it and this year is Studio Ghibli’s 40 year anniversary. The cinema is having an exclusive showing of their movies this month. Only one session per movie, for some reason. Surely they would make more money if they played it over multiple days, but. I dunno. Executives make weird decisions.” A light scoff from him to tell he knows exactly what that’s like. His hatred for the higher-ups runs deep. You don’t push it.

“So she wanted to come but got held back at the last minute?”

“Yeah. Ah, here are our seats.”

You’re placed in the very middle of the room and you both make yourselves comfortable. Shouko went all out for this movie, upgrading the seats and making it a recliner. Your poor back, abused after sitting in chairs and hunched over computers for so long, practically melts into the plush cushion. It’s so comfortable that you might fall asleep in it if it isn’t Howl that’s about to start. 

Feet dangling in the air, you look over to Gojou to see him on his phone. It looks like he’s in a chatroom and you catch the words ‘Shouko’ and ‘favour’ before looking away. You didn’t mean to peek, but it’s not like you can consciously not read something. It was in your line of sight and you averted your eyes as soon as you realised what you were reading. Your brother brought you up better than to pry into other people’s businesses, even if it’s really, really tempting.

“Phones need to be placed on silent, you know.” The ads are coming on the screen. He smiles at you, slipping it into his pocket.

“Just talking to Shouko. She says she hasn’t even started properly.”

Disappointment fills you. Gojou is a good friend to watch this with but you hoped Shouko would somehow miraculously finish in time. She would be devastated.

“I’ll have to make this up to her when we get back. Give her the figurine and keep her hap—ah! I forgot! Gojou, I was supposed to ask someone to take her ciga—” He cuts you off with a light pat on your hand.  

“Don’t worry, I did it already. All of them are safe out of her reach and I gave her packets of hot chocolate instead. When we get back, she’ll have drunk at least half of them and be in a good mood.” What a Gojou-like replacement. He smiles like a child wanting pats on the head for a job well done. You just barely catch yourself from moving. 

Gojou gets a rep for being aloof and neglectful, but he does take care of the people he holds dear to him. His friends, members of the school, his students. You hope you’re included in the list. 

Actually, the more you think about it, the more you realise he’s different from initial perceptions. You learn more and more about him as time goes on, in the most delightful sense. He’s somewhat like an onion, new characteristics being revealed every time a layer is peeled. A snicker escapes at the thought of Gojou dressed up like an onion, just waddling around. He shoots you a questioning head tilt which you wave off.

In the years that you’ve known him, he made himself into a trustworthy friend. One full of laughs and ridiculousness. Maybe it’s his childishness that puts you at ease, but he’s incredibly comfortable and easy to relax around. Thoughts trail and the words fly out of your mouth before you even think.

“You know, I think you would make a wonderful boyfriend.”

He freezes completely, like somebody’s zapped him in place. You stare at him, wondering what’s wrong, but the lights dim and by the time he gathers coherence, your concentration is on the opening sequence.

“Ah, that was so good! Ugh, I love Howl. Isn’t he so cool?” You skip out of the room, remembering to take the figurines provided at the exit, with Gojou trailing behind you. “You know how she asks him to wait for her in the past? The first thing he says to her in the movie is ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’ He searched for her the entire time! This is modern poetry. This.” 

“Do you think Howl would be a good boyfriend?” The question stops you. It’s different than usual for some reason, the voice asking the question and the intensity of it. He’s still his aloof self, all smiles and grins, but there’s something you can’t quite place that’s wrong. It’s unnerving, but you diligently answer his question.

“Um, I mean, yeah? Look at how cute he is with Sophie. See?” The figurine is a frozen shot of Howl and Sophie dancing in the rain with an umbrella that’s not being useful at all. They’re both incredibly detailed, so much so that you can see their clothes and skin drenching wet. Wow, this is actually a phenomenal job. Shouko will be so happy. It makes your heart lighter knowing that at least something might light up her day. 

“Why is he cool?” Gojou seems to be invested in Howl. It confuses you since he just watched the movie with you and he saw how awesome Howl is. 

“Hm, well for one he can do magic.” He opens his mouth but you shush him with a finger to his lips. “Yeah, I know, what we have is kind of like magic too. But theirs is just… different. He just makes it seem kind of elegant. And he overcame his fear just for Sophie. Remember the scene with Sulliman and in the cluttered bedroom? He still found the strength to protect her even though he was so scared before. It’s admirable. I guess I like strong guys.”

“Hmm~” His tone is contemplative. “You know I’m stronger than him, right?”

A question mark forms over your head. He’s being really weird today. “Yeah? You’re the strongest in the universe, silly. What’s up with you?” Gojou just chuckles and ruffles your head.

“Nothing, nothing. Just making sure you know.” He slings his arm around your shoulder, the intensity gone and the light spring in his step back. “Who else do you think is strong?”

Next chapter →

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Love Cuts Deep

Chapter 6- We’ll Stumble And Fall

Bucky Barnes x reader Series Rewrite (Civil War, Infinity War/Endgame, TFATWS)

Summary: Realizing Zemo was behind the bombing in Vienna all along, your growing team of four heads to the airport. But will you make it to Siberia in time?

Warning: fighting, oh boy some angst, some fluff for the soul, long chapter

Masterlist

“I can’t believe you guys actually brought everyone a suit. How thoughtful.” You chuckle sarcastically while following the rest of the team over to the airport.

“Yeah. Well, wearing jeans and a t-shirt probably wouldn’t cut it.” Replies Clint as you continue onward, an amused smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

Soon Steve has the six of you positioned in various areas in the airport as you await the inevitable meeting with the one and only Tony Stark and whoever the fuck has decided to join him. At this point you’re only here for Bucky and to get your asses to Siberia to stop the sleeping Winter Soldiers from ever waking up again.

Although it appears that something else is afoot between Steve’s friends, knowing only that this disagreement has something to do with the Sokovian Accords and freedom to fight or something like that you’re honestly not one hundred percent sure. All that matters to you is the safety and freedom of Bucky, that’s all that you care to fight about.

Leaning against an airport window, you squint your eyes in search of the others outside to no avail, nothing very dramatic is going on, well at least what you can tell by.

“Anything?” Wonders Bucky as you turn away from the glass and walk over to him.

Giving him a casual once over, you simply shrug, “Not yet. Guess the shows not ready to start.”

“Hey guys over here!” Calls Sam from further down the airport terminal, “Hurry! I see them!” 

“As you were saying.” Smirks Bucky.

“Shut up.” You mutter before hastily jogging over to Sam as he looks out the window, “Jeesh alright man, we’re here.”

“Alright good. Look I found the Quinjet.” Replies Sam as your eyes trail across the large parking lot where the aircraft sits comfortably in one of the hangers.

Soon he touches his earpiece to alert Steve, “Their Quinjet’s in hanger five, north runway.” He says before turning to glance at the two of you on either side of him, “Alright let’s roll, come on!”

Rising to your feet, the three of you begin booking it down the giant airport interior when suddenly some strange red and blue blur swings past the large glass windows on your left. Then it begins hastily crawling across the see through exterior. Not having a real moment to press the matter, you keep hustling across the tiled flooring, just a few steps behind Bucky.

“What the hell is that?” Wonders Bucky aloud as you keep pace with him, you could honestly ask the same thing.

Sam turns to look, arms pumping fast as he tries his best to keep up with the two of you, “Everyone’s got a gimmick now.”

Letting out a breathy chuckle at his timely complaining, your legs pull you closer to the exit as you take notice of how the strange blur can swing from roof to roof.

Without warning, glass shatters from up above and a second later you hear the surprised grunt of Sam as this mystery person slams him into a wall. Immediately Bucky comes to an abrupt halt that causes you to almost smack right into him, instead do you swiftly shift to the side as he launches himself at the....whatever it is?

You stand back in curious uncertainty as Bucky throws his metal fist directly at the guy in spandex, though to yours and definitely Bucky’s great astonishment, this spider kid holds his fist like it’s nothing.

“Whoa!” Exclaims the excited childlike voice as he glances from the arm to Bucky’s wide eyed face, “You have a metal arm? That is awesome, dude.”

A hot second later your boot comes into contact with his stomach, the kid goes flying across the tiled flooring, tumbling across the floor before quickly finding his footing once more.

You stand defiantly in front of Bucky and a slowly recovering Sam as the spider kid holds his stomach, pointing a shaky finger in your direction as he yells out a weak, “You have the right to remain silent!” Just as you smirk, before the shling sound of your claws emits into the tense atmosphere.

You can’t see it, but his eyes are as big as saucers, heart pounding a mile a minute from within his young chest as you suddenly step to the side for Sam to fly forward and swiftly pick him up. You snicker as they push and shove one another in midair while Bucky approach’s your side when you retract your claws once more.

“You’re good with kids I see.” He teases with a playful smirk as you gently shove him.

“What can I say Barnes, I just got that natural motherly instinct.” You sass back before jogging once again, Bucky hot on your heels as the two of you race after Sam.

You watch as he throws the kid off of him before turning mid air and blasting at one of the steel metal beams, the spider kid swings, just narrowly missing getting knocked the fuck out. He swings from one beam to the next before dodging a poster sized hunk of airport wall that was thrown by Bucky, stopping for a quick breather on one of the overhead beams just up ahead.

Bucky slides into a metal pillar for quick cover as you follow close behind, soon the two of you are hidden behind the pillar as the kid shouts, “Hey, buddy, I think you lost this!” In reply, Bucky peaks around the corner just as the spider kid slingshots it heading directly for his face.

Not waiting a precious second longer, you grab the back of his collar just as the hunk of steel wall clashes violently into the pillar, and presumably where Bucky’s handsome face would have been if but a second too late.

He falls into your arms, knocking the two of you to the ground with a thud as his body just about crushes your torso, “Thanks.” Mumbles Bucky as he quickly pulls himself off of you before turning around and offering his hand.

Clasping it tightly, you let him pull you to your feet as you give him an irritated look, “I’m gonna gut that little arachnid.” You growl angrily as his eyes crinkle in amusement.

Crash!

Following the sounds of glass shattering and metal snapping in two, you and Bucky race around the pillar and across more of the airport as Sam gets his hand stuck to the side of a glass balcony banister.

The spider kid landing on the side of another pillar as you two stealthily wander closer, “Those wings carbon fiber?” He wonders as Sam gives him a dirty look.

“This stuff coming out of you?”

“That would explain the rigidity-flexibility ratio, which, gotta say, that’s awesome, man.”

“I don’t know if you’ve been in a fight before but there’s usually not this much talking.” Sasses Sam in great irritation.

“All right, sorry. My bad.” Laughs the spider kid as he jumps from the pillar before swinging down heading for Sam, a moment later Bucky rushes past you and takes the full force of the blow. You watch as the three of them shatter the glass banister as both Sam and Bucky go flying downward onto the hard floor below.

That did not look graceful.

Stepping into the open you can’t do much but watch in annoyance as the little shit lands high up on a steel beam, “Guys, look, I’d love to keep this up, but I’ve only got one job here today and I gotta impress Mr. Stark, I’m really sorry.” Mutters the kid before reaching his arm out to web them again but is quickly interrupted when Redwing catches his webbing.

A second later he lets out a surprised yelp as he goes flying across the airport rafters before smacking into a steel beam and breaking glass as he makes a swift unwilling exit away from the three of you.

Smiling in deep satisfaction, your mind immediately remembers the two who are laying sprawled out across the grey stoned floor. Walking over to the broken and heavily bent metal beam of the destroyed railing, your ears quickly pick up the sound of your man, “You couldn’t have done that earlier.” Whines Bucky as you glance down at the two of them.

“I hate you.” Mutters a defeated Sam as you break out into a humored smile at their current states of dishevelment, Sam’s hands are stuck to his chest by the kids webbing while Bucky’s metal arm is held firmly against the ground.

Letting out a snort, they’re eyes instantly fly up to meet your smiling face, “You let that little shit kick your asses!” You cackle as Bucky rolls his eyes.

Sam gives you an annoyed glare, “Y/N you mind doing something productive and getting us the hell out of here?” He grumbles as you casually rest your hands on your hips.

“I don’t know? You two seem like a pair of big boys who can handle themselves.”

Closing his eyes, Bucky huffs at your sass, “Please Y/N.....I love you so much....like a lot.”

Biting your bottom lip you cave, “Yeah alright hot stuff I’ll be down.” The two of them watch patiently as you jump from the balcony before landing gracefully onto the floor below, you give them a wink as you move to crouch down next to Bucky’s left arm.

Summoning your claws to action, his eyes trail warily as you swiftly slice the webbing from the floor, a smirk upon your beautiful face as you look down at him, “Because you asked so nicely.” You muse before rising to your feet and freeing Sam from his sticky constraints.

Soon they’re set and ready to go, “Thanks Y/N.” Begrudgingly mutters Sam as you three run out the exit doors headed for the giant airport parking area.

In no time your little team of three reaches Steve and the rest of his crew, all of you running for the coming battle across the lot before a golden beam slams its might into the cement below, effectively blocking the seven of you from running any further.

The caped man known as Vision floats relatively unthreatening from above as be heeds a hefty warning, “Captain Rogers! I know you believe what you’re doing is right. But for the collective good...you must surrender.”

Though you’d like to believe that surrendering would prove an effective choice leading to an eventual freedom, that does not appear to be an option as the rest of Ironman’s team finds their places in his court. The six of them, verse the seven of you. Well now this is certainly going to be an interesting turn of events.

Watching them expectantly, you shift your gaze over to Bucky who keeps steely eyes glared at the foes ahead, “You know I think maybe in retrospect we should have just lived a nice quiet life in New Zealand. Instead of fighting off Steve’s work friends.” You mutter as he turns a humored glance your way.

He gives the tiniest of reassuring smiles, “I think you’re right.” Whispers Bucky before looking back at the other team, “Just don’t kill anyone alright.”

Now starting at a slow jog, you smirk, “Fine. But I’m going to beat that cats ass.”

Racing at a full sprint now, both sides interject with a hard clash as each person from their respective teams finds a target. Punches are thrown left and right as everyone does their best to beat one another into submission, or at least until they’re too exhausted to fight any longer.

After a couple minutes of tag teaming the panther around like a sack of angry potato’s, he successfully manages to punt your ass into one of the portable metal ladders placed randomly around the airport docks. Your mind goes fuzzy as you pick your body off of the blacktop, blinking wearily, your vision slowly rolls the fog away in your disoriented state.

You take a step to help Bucky but are rudely interrupted by your own body’s shaky gait pattern, you stumble forward, quickly catching yourself when Wanda blessedly throws the panther off of Bucky just as ten sharp claws reach for his exposed jugular.

Shaking the dancing butterflies out of your head, Bucky shuffles off the ground before racing protectively to your side, face a mask of worry as he clutches your shoulders, “Y/N are you with me?”

Giving him an almost drunken smile, you reach your hands up to squeeze his forearms reassuringly, “I am awesome thanks for asking.” You giggle before Scott says some nonsense about getting big in a lab once.

God this team is so weird.

Brows furrowing in confusion, you and Bucky jog over to Steve as he stands behind some wooden crates when out of nowhere Scott grows to the size of a small building. Giant arms and legs moving like a humongous lumbering tree come to life; your eyes large and full of great bewilderment at this abrupt change, and you thought the Vision was the weirdest thing here.

You take a cautious step back, lightly smacking Bucky on the arm to gain his attention as you continue to stare up at a giant Scott, “Bucky, please tell me you see that very large man too.”

“Uh, yeah.” He slowly replies, just as bewildered by the giant version of Scott as you are.

You nod, “Okay good. I was starting to think my brain hadn’t settled right.” You admit as he sends you a half worried frown.

“Guess that’s the signal.” Adds Steve while the three of you watch as War Machine tries to knock Scott down, immediately getting swatted in the direction of a plane before that spider kid helps to stop him.

Starting to walk backwards, you cough to gain the boys distracted attention, “Alright, let’s get the fuck out of here.” You urge as Steve nods before leading the way to the Quinjet that’s across a good portion of the airport parking strip.

Your jog is swiftly cut short when Vision manages to beam a huge watch tower, it crashes towards the ground when suddenly a great mass of red energy holds it in place before the building can hit the cement. Running faster now, the three of you race for the safety of the hanger, just barley dodging the heavy debris that comes crashing to the earth behind you.

Soon you’re met by Natasha who stands guarding the way to freedom, an apprehensive expression crossing her features, “You’re not gonna stop.”

“You know we can’t.” Answers Steve.

You raise a brow as she begins lifting her arm, “I’m gonna regret this.” She mutters unenthusiastically before shooting a blue bolt of electricity right into the body of the panther, your heads snap over to the sounds of his pained grunts.

“Thanks. I would have loved to do that.” You add before leading the way towards the Quinjet, Steve and Bucky close behind while Natasha shocks the panther once more.

——

The ride to Siberia was admittedly a somber one, no one really talked much for the duration of the lengthy trip except maybe a little at the beginning, along with some heartfelt words between you and Bucky as Steve piloted. Though a heavy dark atmosphere seemed to seep into the limited space as more time passed.

Soon enough, the Quinjet had reached its snowy destination in the mountainous cliffside edge of a previously unknown Hydra base. You stand on the edge of the opened aircraft as Steve stands by your side while Bucky finds a gun, “No weapons?” He wonders with a curious brow as you simply shrug. “I kind of got six retractable daggers in my fists already....so, I’ll be fine. They probably won’t.”

Steve hums in knowing answer as Bucky finally joins the two of you, and with that does everyone begin walking towards the opened metal doors stuck tightly within the protruding rock of the hidden base.

Humming in knowing answer, Bucky finally joins the two of you and with that does everyone begin walking towards the opened metal doors stuck tightly within the protruding rock of the hidden base.

“He can’t have been here more then a few hours.” You mutter while studying the snow covered tracks leading into the opened base door.

Bucky looks to you with a worried expression, “Long enough to wake them up.” And with that said, do the three of you enter.

——

The ride down the steel elevator is a somber and silent one, thankfully only lasting for a brief thirty seconds, soon the doors open and Steve lifts up the caged veil for the three of you to duck under.

Bucky takes the lead, gun drawn and ready as you walk silently behind him, preparing yourself if these other winter soldiers are awake and ready to kill. With nothing in close proximity or any sounds to be heard except for the movements of your companions, the three of you stealthily walk across the opening with your backs to the wall until you reach the short cement staircase.

Suddenly the door you came in from creaks and whines with the power of someone forcing the old rusted metal open, the three of you whip around in an alert flash. Bucky with his gun aimed at the mystery intruder from behind you and Steve with his shield held; blocking him, yourself, and Bucky’s lower half. Your claws obviously drawn.

“You ready?” Whispers Steve.

“Yeah.”

A moment later the two old grey doors are forced apart to reveal the glowing eyes of Ironman, Steve immediately lowers his guard as Tony dissembles his helmet back into his suit. Dark eyes appearing rather unthreatening as he nods to Steve, “You seem a little defensive.”

“It’s been a long day.” Mutters Steve solemnly.

Tony then looks up at Bucky, “At ease, Soldier. I’m not currently after you.” Before glancing down at you who’s guarding him, “And I don’t have a death wish to cross blades with you, I’m not here to brawl.”

“Then why are you here?” Asks Steve, voice with the tinge of uncertainty.

Tony shrugs while walking closer, “Could be your story’s not so crazy. Maybe.....Ross has no idea I’m here. I’d like to keep it that way. Otherwise, I gotta arrest myself.”

Steve almost smirks, “Well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork.” Tony scoffs at the irony of it all before Steve finally lets down his full guard, bringing his shield back to his side, “It’s good to see you, Tony.”

Tony nods, “You too, Cap.” Head back up to find Bucky’s, “Manchurian Candidate, you’re killing me. There’s a truce here. You can drop it...”

Steve gives the two of you a reassuring nod, Bucky lowers the gun as you begrudgingly retract your claws. Soon after the four of you begin wandering the base until you all start walking down a small hallway leading into the main room where the soldiers are being kept.

Where they brainwashed Bucky and help him in cryo. Where they held you in the ice.

“I got heat signatures.” Announces Tony warily.

“How many?”

“Uh, one.”

The four of you walk into the large cavernous steel laced room, it’s dark and emits an almost bluish hue with the exception of the six holding chambers that give off a dull golden glow helping to light up the area ever so slightly.

This place really brings back memories you’d rather have seen buried and gone forever. Of course you’d get one last look.

“If it’s any comfort,” Speaks a familiar voice you’d loath to hear again, “they died in their sleep.” The four of you wander cautiously closer, observing the dead winter soldiers with a single bullet wound through their heads, “Did you really think I wanted more of you?”

Bucky shares a nervous glance with you, “What the hell?”

“I’m grateful to them, though. They brought you here.” Immediately the lights are called to life and in the far center wall appears the man from Berlin, Steve throws his shield but the man sits comfortably behind bulletproof glass, he smiles knowingly, “Please, Captain. The Soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets.”

“I’m betting I could beat that.” Asserts Tony while the four of you walk around the center area where they used to electrocute Bucky, and you when the manipulation and programming began to wear off.

“Oh, I’m sure you could, Mr. Stark. Given time. But then you’d never know why you came.”

You scoff, “You killed innocent people in Vienna just to bring us all here?”

The man eyes you up as you approach the see through window, “I’ve thought about nothing else for a whole year.” He explains, “I studied what they did to you two, I followed the trail of dwindling breadcrumbs that you left behind.” Nods the man with a slight smile ghosting his lips as he studies your face, “Tampere. Brussels. Amsterdam. Venice. You’ve left quit the bloody trail in your wake, all those doctors and scientists who made you into Hydra’s best...”

“I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.” You whisper sharply, eyes glaring pure daggers into his soul.

He almost smiles, face leaning in closer now, “That is a fair statement. Nonetheless, it all eventually led me to you, and I am impressed with the work of those doctors. You are indeed a marvel to witness,” He smirks, dark obsidian irises studying your face as he raises a brow, “How’s your head?”

“Fuck you.”

The dark eyed man chuckles as Steve intervenes, “You’re Sokovian. Is that what this is about?”

“Sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. No. I’m here because I made a promise.” Admits the man, of course, why else would this psycho go to such lengths to kill the winter soldiers.

“You lost someone?”

The mans face falls, eyes darkening in remorse and anger, “I lost everyone. And so will you.” He turns and presses a button before looking back up at the four of you. A small television turns on nearby that immediately calls your attentions, “An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumbles from within? That’s dead......Forever.”

You stand close to Bucky as Tony and Steve get closer to the glowing screen showing CCTV footage of a rural roadside at night.

“I know that road.” Points Tony in confusion as he looks up at the dark eyed man, “What is this?!” He shouts though nothing is given answer.

The video plays on as your heartbeat begins to rise, the bottom of the footage reads DEC. 16 1991, you know exactly what this is. And you’re terrified.

Soon a blurry car crashes into a telephone poll as the flash of a motorcycle rips by out of frame, soon it approaches once again, the rider parking it behind the damaged vehicle as he moves to the drivers side. A star on his left arm that flashes strangely in the light of the lamppost above; Tony’s face shifts to fear, anxiety, and anger in a multitude of seconds as the driver is pulled from his seat.

Soon the dark haired man slams his metal fist into the face of the helpless driver, ending his life right then and there. Deceased now, face bruised and bloody, the Winter Soldier drags the body back to the drivers seat before placing him there like he died from the impact of the crash.

Your eyes flicker towards the cement floor of the abandoned Hydra base as the video plays on, you know what happens next, and keep yourself from watching as the Winter Soldier kills Tony Starks mother before walking around the vehicle and putting a bullet into the security camera.

The film goes dark.

Immediately Tony tears his eyes away from the blacked screen and takes a threatening step towards Bucky, Steve places a hand on his arm as you place yourself between Stark and Bucky. Who’s absolutely hating himself right now.

“No, Tony.”

Tony stops and purses his lips at the ground, face shifting from frustration, pain, and anger as he turns to lock eyes with Steve, “Did you know?” He whispers softly, dreading the answer.

Steve pauses for a moment, “I didn’t know it was him.”

Tony’s face darkens with rage as he tightens his grip on Steve’s arm, “Don’t bullshit me, Rogers. Did you know?”

Tony awaits the inevitable as Steve gives him the honest answer, “Yes.” Tony reals back in shock, face flashing with disappointment and growing fury as he slowly nods, gathering his spinning thoughts at this heavy bout of deeply personal information.

A second later an iron fist flies up to send Steve sprawling across the cement flooring, instantly Bucky draws his gun but is quickly disabled when Tony shoots it out of his hands. You step into action but are rudely thrusted back by the force of a heated blast of energy that sends you crashing into a sleeping chambers metal side.

Your head cracks against the steel, leaving you gasping for breath on the hard cold ground as Bucky and Tony clash fists, Steve soon joining them as they brawl. Goddamn that hurt, fuck I can’t see straight, you mutter to yourself as a wet sticky substance slithers down the side of your neck as you pull yourself to a seated position.

Hands against the floor, the world feels like it’s swaying on a rocker as your visual field darts with blurry black dots; a small dark splotch patters to the floor as you stare at it in confusion. Balance somewhat stabilizing, you reach over to touch it, blood smears across the grey floor as you realize how heavy a hit you just took.

Good thing you heal quickly, or you might have just died.

Crash! Your head snaps up to witness as one of the holding chambers top portion falls to the ground in a massive heap of dust and debris, then out of nowhere Bucky races to your side, hands instantly lifting you to your feet, face dirt smudged and filled with uncertainty, “Y/N we gotta leave....oh fuck you’re bleeding. Come on, come on....come back to me please. You’re alright....you’re okay.....can you see straight?” He rambles in worry.

Pulling his hands from your irritated face, you shake your head to rid the ringing in your ears, “I’m fine, Buck. Let’s go before he kills one of us.” You urge.

The two of you make haste as you struggle your way up to the opened giant port hole, jumping from steel caged banister to the next on your way out to freedom as Steve fights to keep Tony from attacking either of you from down below.

Once Bucky reaches the edge where he’s able to see snow, you right behind him, a small missile from Tony’s suit crashes into the giant doors hinge. Causing you and Bucky to fall backwards into separate steel landing pads. Out of breath from the force of impact, you watch helplessly as Tony flies up to greet Bucky.

In any way but friendly. They clash and punch at each other until Tony gains the upper hand by wrapping an arm around Bucky’s throat, you stumble to your feet as Bucky quickly forces himself out and soon they both go tumbling downwards.

“Bucky!” You shout desperately, terrified that his landing could have cost him his life, fortunately when you scout over the edge, he’s laying on his side. In pain but alive.

Struggling to his feet he gives you a nod of acknowledgment before slipping out of view, almost immediately you hear the sounds of a struggle from the ground floor and with that do you jump downwards from landing pad to landing pad on your way to the bottom.

Boots smacking hard against the cement floor, you follow the pained grunts of the three men as they fight each other with everything that they have. Soon you turn a corner and are welcomed to sunlight and snowy mountains in the far distance from the old bases giant missile launcher air shaft.

By now Steve and Bucky are tag teaming Tony as the Ironman does his best to fight them off at once. Soon he gets a solid blast to Steve’s shield that sends him into the far wall, leaving him out of breath. Bucky takes a crack to the head that sends him to the floor. So much for holding their ground.

When Tony raises his arm for the final blow against Bucky, you’re right behind him; shoving his weaponized arm towards the opened cement pillars, the blast misses Bucky as it breaks a small part in the ceiling. Granted, you could end this all here and now by sinking your claws through Tony’s suit and ending the Stark line, but that would be an awful way to end things. And you’re done with the killing, even if he wants to kill Bucky.

Hydra won’t be the end to the last Stark. Not if you can help it.

Gripping onto his left arm and right shoulder, the Ironman quickly elbows you in the jugular; immediately a choked type of intense pain fills your body as the hit causes you to gasp and sputter while falling to your knees. Tears whell up in your eyes from the natural reaction as your hands rub frantically around your exposed skin.

Fuck that hurt like a bitch.

Unknowingly to you, Tony would have shot you again if not for Bucky who immediately gains the Ironman’s attention once more. Shoving him against the wall as his metal hand reaches to crush Tony’s suit reactor. They struggle against the strength of one another before a blinding light of orange sparks against Bucky, hitting the far wall while Bucky falls to the ground.

Throat healed, your eyes are wide in shock at the sight of Bucky, his metal arm is gone, the metal and wires still glowing a fiery orange and red from the heat of Tony’s blaster as a second later, Tony uses a lesser blast to knock Bucky forwards and across the floor he tumbles.

Steve is on Tony in an instant, the two of them beginning an intense battle of hand to hand combat while you crawl over to a bleeding Bucky who’s laying on his back, eyes closed though his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.

Reaching his face, you shuffle to sit by his right arm, a frown adorning your features at the dark crimson that’s smudged against his sweaty face. Your hands shake with adrenaline as you touch the side of his stubbled cheek, “Buck, come back to me......Please.” You rasp weakly in between the strained grunts from Steve and Tony.

Ignoring them, you move a piece of blood soaked hair from Bucky’s face, tears threatening to spill if he doesn’t move, “Come on....open your damn eyes you beautiful bastard...” You urge, rubbing a comforting thumb against his jaw, “If you leave me here with these idiots I’ll fucking cut you...got it....” Your voice a shaky whisper, “..Bucky, please wake up...”

You give him a dismal look as he says nothing for a moment until his ocean blues open as you reveal the tiniest of relieved grins, “I’m not going anywhere.” He mumbles out, “Not without you.”

You smile weakly, “Good.” Suddenly you hear a crash like a shattering sound of glass and breaking metal, eyes darting upward, you instinctively unsheathe your right claws ready to protect Bucky with your life only to pause once you realize they stopped fighting.

Tony’s laying on his side as Steve sits nearby breathing just as heavily, faces both noticeable bloody. Tony throws him a wicked glare as Steve looks down in reluctant shame, soon he pulls himself to his feet, shield in one hand as he glances from Tony to the cold climate of Siberia.

Taking this as your cue, you look back down at Bucky, “Time to get the fuck out of here.” Before moving to help him to his feet, he clings onto your shoulder as you wrap an arm around his waist. He’s awkward and off centered from the recent loss of his appendage, but does what he can to keep upright with your aid.

Steve limps towards the two of you, shield still in hand as he slowly follows until Tony speaks, “That shield doesn’t belong to you.” He bitterly mutters, “You don’t deserve it. My father made that shield!” Steve pauses for a moment, nodding in understanding before dropping the shield onto the hard ground with a loud clang.

Coming to your aid to help Bucky up the ladder.

——

Not long after the intensive personal battle between Steve and Tony, plus the revelation that Bucky was the one this whole time who actually killed Tony’s parents and Steve knew about it. T’Challa soon found the three of you bloodied and exhausted in the snow.

Steve left the jet for Tony, while the prince of Wakanda, with a new perspective on the situation, allowed the three of you to join him in his own jet, while Baron Zemo sat silently in the corner. Handcuffed and fuming.

A jet ride later after dropping Zemo in a secured facility to rot for his crimes, T’Challa had brought you all into his home willingly. Soon his expert doctors had gotten things ready to place Bucky back under until they could figure out how to free his troubled mind of all the shit Hydra had forced in there.

Your eyes are trained on Bucky’s vitals when you sense him staring at you, god you feel so nervous for some reason. Blinking slowly, you draw your wandering attention over to him, “Y/N.” He mutters softly with the most adorable of smiles to bless his handsome face.

You give him a faint grin back, “Bucky.”

He slightly frowns at your disheartened expression, “Come here.” He beckons with a small wave of his hand that’s bound with an IV, “Please.”

Breathing slow, your body feels like it’s shaking with adrenaline, he can sense how anxious you feel. Walking closer now, Bucky reaches out his hand for you to take, “I won’t be gone forever, okay. Just for a little bit.”

Squeezing his hand, you reveal a weak half smile, “I know Buck, it just feels like they’re taking you away from me all over again. And I won’t know for how long.”

He looks down at your intertwined fingers, eyes trailing over the dark faded 00X13 permanently tattooed to your left wrist, “Yeah....I’m sorry it’s just.” He purses his lips together in thought, brows furrowing as his eyes catch yours, “I can’t trust my own mind. So, until they find out how to get this stuff out of my head....I think going under is the best thing. For everybody.”

Nodding, you frown, “I know, I don’t care how long they take to heal you alright. I’ll wait forever if I have to, I promise.”

Bucky reveals a beautiful smile of hope and pure love for you, one that is greatly returned, “What did I do to deserve you?” He whispers.

Smiling, you reply, “Get thrown around by the universe a bit first.” You chuckle lightly as your face slowly falls again, “Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you wake up alright. Then I can really show you how much of this you really deserve.” Bucky laughs as you throw him a suggestive wink.

Suddenly Steve wanders into the room, drawing the both of yours distracted attention as he smiles half awkwardly, “You two gonna be alright?” He asks, eyes trailing from you to his best friend, genuinely happy that Bucky has found love in this messy world.

Bucky squeezes your hand as he gives Steve a reassuring nod, “Yeah. I think so.” He replies, blue eyes turning to you.

“I’ve been alone most of my life already, what’s another however long?” You shrug with a sad smile, eyes focused on Bucky, “I can handle it.”

He smiles back, “I know you can.”

“Mr. Barnes, are you ready?” States one of the Wakandian doctors, “The chamber is prepared.”

He nods, “Yeah. I’m ready.”

Soon Bucky slips off of the metal table and walks over to the glass Cryo chamber, pausing a moment to turn around and face you. He looks conflicted at the ground before bringing his gaze back up to you, a second later he steps forward to gently touch his hand against your cheek before pressing his lips to yours.

Steve and the rest of the doctors avert their gaze while Bucky holds you close, lips taking all they can get as he mentally memorizes everything about you. From your soft lips flush against his, to the curves and feel of your skin against his palm that he’s touched a thousand times before.

He wants so badly to stay with you and live in peace by your side, but he’s too afraid of his own mind and absolutely terrified of ever being forced to hurt you again. He’s lucky you were able to get past what he did to you in Berlin when Zemo was in control, but of course you are, you love him more then you’ve ever loved anyone. It wasn’t his fault, and you know that.

Breaking from the kiss, Bucky presses his forehead against yours as his thumb rubs reassuringly along your cheek. “Ya lyublyu vas.” Whispers your lover in Russian before tasting you one last time, slowly pulling away, he nods before turning to walk into the chamber.

He’s strapped in and then the long glass door ascends to close him in, a moment later you watch as he closes his eyes before the chamber is activated. Ice dances up the walls while below freezing fog seeps into the container, sending Bucky into a deep sleep for however long it takes.

Biting your bottom lip, you hold back the annoying lump forming in the back of your throat as Steve sets a hand on your shoulder, “He’s safe here. Don’t worry Y/N, he’ll be with us soon enough.”

You nod, eyes never leaving Bucky’s as you study his sleeping face behind the frosted glass, “I know, Steve. It’s just waiting is the hard part.”

-

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[the-customer-is-an-asshole]

Ok y'all, so I've been working remote for a call center for a medicaid dental company for almost 2 months now. And it's honestly better than retail, but there are still some definite pros and cons.

Pros:

Working from home fucking rules.

I was in training for over a month, 2 weeks in an actual training class, 3 weeks in a nesting period (basically you're taking calls, getting comfortable with taking calls, but you're still technically in training so there's like this safety net) and I feel like I actually got properly trained before transitioning to operations.

This company is awesome. They genuinely want you to succeed, and they even promote from within. Like seriously. 2 out of the 3 team leads when I was in nesting got promoted in the 3 total weeks I was in nesting, and even another coworker and I got offered higher positions a week into training.

My coworkers and even my supervisors are great. In my training class I was with the best group of people I've ever worked with. We all got kind of split up when we all moved to operations and I genuinely miss them.

I also feel like I'm genuinely helping people.

It's full time, and I get health, dental, and vision insurance.

Cons

The people. OH MY GOD THE PEOPLE. It's the same dumbass people I've had to deal with in retail, but now they're not breathing down my neck, which is honestly better.

"Can you help me find an eye doctor?" Ma'am we are a medicaid DENTAL insurance company. (I understand that they may have one card for their entire medicaid plan, but this happens too often)

Trying to find a dentist that will take medicaid is absolutely infuriating sometimes. Especially in rural areas and...Florida??? For some reason???

Like seriously I had someone from Florida was trying to find a dentist for their 3 year old who had tooth pain, and it was damn near impossible. And it wasn't like they were in a small town or rural area, they were in like, Orlando.

Another time I had someone from Idaho call trying to find a prosthodontist (dentist who specializes in dentures) and the only one I could find, was over 100 miles away from their zip code, wasn't accepting new patients, and didn't even accept medicaid for people over 18. And this was the only one I could find within a 250 mile radius, which is as far as my portal will let me search.

When assigning a dentist to a member, I can't just assign them to a dental group. No, I have to assign them to an individual facility, as well as an individual dentist. Makes sense, cause some facilities within the dental group might take our insurance. Some others may not, and I just can't assign them to any dentist in that facility, cause what if that dentist is completely booked out for the next 6 months? Or what if they're retiring tomorrow? Or what if it's a specialist that's only there once a month? But this is especially frustrating when the people calling don't remember the name of the dentist. And most of them will ask if they can call and see, but then there's the ones that are just like "Oh I didn't make an appointment yet, can't you just assign me any dentist?" Or the one lady who got snippy and said " Well I gave YOU the number, can't YOU call and check?" As if it's my fucking responsibility to know which dentist you made the appointment with.

There is one thing I hate more than anything else in this job, and it is filing disenrollment requests. I can understand why people want to dis-enroll. Maybe the dentist that they're seeing no longer accepts our specific insurance and they really want to stay with that provider, or they're having a problem trying to find any dentist that will take this insurance. That's understandable. I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with the entire process in general. Because it's not like some box I can check that says "Member would like to dis-enroll" No, I have to file a grievance, and then get approval from my supervisor before I can submit it, and then this person, who just wants to go to the dentist, has to wait for us to send in a letter (which there's no time frame for how long that could take, so if the person has a dental emergency and can't find any dentists that will take their insurance, they're just fucked I guess) telling them whether or not the request was approved or denied, because yes, a disenrollment request can be denied, for WHATEVER REASON. And it takes FOREVER. If it's just one person it's not so bad, but yesterday I had to dis-enroll a mother and her SEVEN CHILDREN. I was on that call for OVER AN HOUR. Not to mention our messaging system was down so I had to get approval by emailing my supervisor, which takes longer and is harder because I can't send confidential medical info through email. That's a HIPAA violation.

Our breaks and lunches are scheduled, and it's fucking bonkers. Why on earth is my lunch break at 3:15, when I start at 9AM??? Why is my last break scheduled half an hour before I leave for the day? And why do I have to fill out an adherence tracker form whenever I'm late for my breaks? I was on a call??? My supervisors are able to see that???

[glacecakes]

Wild Hunt

Eugene isn't exactly well liked by his men, but when they want to induct him into their ranks, he's not going to complain! All he has to do is hunt down a beast that they prepared for this event specifically-

It's Varian. Eugene is accidentally hunting down Varian. Now the two have to survive the night together, while one of them is injured, against a squadron of Corona's best men.

Uh oh.

IM BACK! Kinda. Finals are due Tuesday and I wrote this instead of doing them but WHATEVER WHO CARES

This was mostly written on the Varian Hivemind server, with some lovely inputs from the folks on there, and I edited it and finished it before throwing it up here. So uh. Yea. Team Awesome my beloved

Life and Times and VVO will also be updated soon!!! I hope to have at least one if not both chapters done by the end of the month 

ANYWAY HERES 8K OF TEAM AWESOME ANGST

Being Captain of the Guards sure had its perks.

For one, he got to attend meetings with Rapunzel, finally. You'd think being the princess's future husband (probably) and Prince of the Dark Kingdom got him some recognition, but noblemen are jerks and elitists, so what can you do. Granted, the meetings were boring as all hell, but still, it felt like he was actually being respected and taken seriously. Something Rapunzel had been pushing for since the start. Personally, he wasn't all that sure he deserved it, but if she was happy, so was he.

Another was that the guards no longer gave him shit. That's not to say they did before... well, they did. Stan and Pete didn't, but every other guard called him Flynn Rider at least once or twice before begrudgingly accepting him as their teacher and now commander. He no longer had to worry about someone breathing down his back, waiting for him to slip up or commit a crime, eager to throw him back in prison.

Speaking of which...

He turned the corner to see a few guards, couldn't remember their names off the top of his head, forming a small circle around a corner. Their predatory grins barred down on whatever their target was, whichever poor soul had angered them. One of them had his hands on someone much shorter, so short he couldn't make them out beyond the red coats and gleaming gold... which could only mean it was one person.

"Don't get comfy, brat," the one hissed, pushing Varian up against the wall with an audible crack as a skull hit stone, no doubt hoisted up by a shirt collar. "One of these days the princess is gonna get sick of you, and when she does, we'll toss you back into your old cell... and we'll restart our favorite game. Ain't that a swell idea?" Varian hissed, a soft thunk of his boots scrambling for purchase against the wall.

"Hey!" Eugene snapped, having heard more than enough. "Put him down now ." His words were like fire, causing the other two to jump back and reveal the battered and bruised alchemist. His lip was split, a large scuff of dirt on his white shirt.

One of the guards snapped his head around, whacking the leader's shoulder to get his attention. The guard frowned. "Oh yea? Or what?"

Before his new position, he would've leapt into the fray, hackles raised, punching the lights out of these jerks, but now, he had a much better stance. "Or you're fired." He crossed his arms, the perfect picture of a guy in charge who knew how to keep his men in line.

Someone who was clearly not him.

The guard hummed. "You don't have the nerve." To emphasize his point, he shook Varian a little harder, the kid's toes barely scraping the floor and his hands gripping the soldier's wrists. Leather gloves creaked with how tight the pressure was.

But Eugene's glare didn't waver, hand itching for the sword at his hip, his anger radiating in waves. It was enough to get the other two to back off.

"Cmon, Aaron," one whispered. "It's not worth it."

"Yeah, it's not." Eugene agreed. "Put him down now, and I'll lighten your sentence to a week in the stables instead of a month."

Aaron's face turned sheet white, then bright red. With a huff, he dropped Varian to the ground, readjusting his gloves while Varian cried out on the floor.

"You got lucky this time, brat," he hissed.

Oh, he knew that type of speech. The Baron used it all the time. Anyone who got told that never lasted to the next month. "And all other times," he said. "Because if I see you go anywhere near him I'm taking you to the princess."

Aaron rolled his eyes, clearly uncaring, and stormed off with a huff, his buddies trailing after. No doubt they didn't like a criminal ordering them around. Or, ex-criminal. He'd have to keep an eye on them.

A sniffle broke Eugene's musings, the fog of satisfaction and annoyance quickly replaced by concern for his younger friend. Varian sat up, wincing as he did so. He rubbed his neck, feeling for any injuries and finding none except for his ruined collar. "Aw man," he mumbled.

Dad had fixed his collar for him that day, a proud smile on his face. "You need to look sharp for your first day on the job," he'd said, ruffling Varian's hair. They'd grown so much closer in the past few months, the man always seeing his son off. Today was the first day back after his kidnapping, after all; he'd spent a month recovering from a broken rib.

"It's not my first day, I've been working there for weeks," Varian had grumbled, but let him do it with a cheeky grin.

"First day of the week," Quirin rectified, placing a kiss to his baby's forehead.

A forehead now covered in dust and a bruise.

"Hey kid," Eugene offered a hand that Varian gladly took, stumbling a little as he was helped upright. "You ok? Nothing knocked outta place?"

"Just my pride," Varian joked, smile quickly fading. "I'm ok though, really. I'm used to it." He shrugged, hugging himself for comfort. Maybe he could pretend dad was here, hugging him... he always had the best hugs. Even when Varian was little, before they drifted apart. Back when he was just the weird magic kid. Back when his biggest worries were some older kids picking on him... Dad would always scoop him up into a big hug with flowery words and a book of Flynn Rider.

A warm hand wrapped around him, pulling him into a red chest. Eugene took his other hand to ruffle Varian's hair, earning a squawk of complaint.

"Just because you're used to it doesn't mean it's ok, you know that, right?" Silence followed. Gosh, this kid... say what you want about being an orphan, at least everyone around you was on the same boat. No place for bullies, nothing to bully about, when everyone was doing just as badly. "If they ever give you more trouble, you come to me, yeah?"

"Huh?" Confused blue eyes met warm brown.

Eugene smirked. "You say the words and I boot them out of the castle, goggles. Team Awesome looks out for each other."

"Oh," Varian mumbled, dazed. He'd never had a protector, never had anyone looking out for him. Cold sneers and flowery words, manipulation and secrets and ulterior motives, sure. His chest fluttered, a laugh escaping.

But then... the anxiety returned full force, maybe even stronger.

If those guys got fired because of him, good god, he could only imagine the fallout. Well, that's not true. He absolutely could. One time in prison a guard got fired for beating a cellmate within an inch of his life, and though the guy lived, the second he was out of prison he got jumped, or so the story goes. In all honesty it was probably an embellished truth, stretched out to frighten prisoners into silence, but god damn if it didn't work. No one ever complained about their beatings. A peep was all that was needed to spend a night in the infirmary for even worse injuries.

"No, no, it's fine," Varian flicked his wrist. The dial on his hand spun with each flick, the ticking grating. "Besides, we have work to do!"

"Oh, yea!" Eugene gasped. Right! The whole reason he came out to this part of the castle was to look for Varian specifically, after all.

"So, right, maintenance stuff." Varian waved his hand, motioning for Eugene to follow. "Here's what I had in mind..."

-

It was a week later, late at night, when Aaron approached him. The moon lay low in the sky, just bright enough to allow for vision without torchlight, but not bright enough that anything beyond shapes were clear. True to his word, the guard had been stationed on stable duty for the past several days, coming back to the barracks covered in dirt and angry every time.

So maybe Eugene had whispered to Max about him. Big deal.

Anyway, the captain was knee-deep in paperwork when Aaron knocked on his office door. "Sir," he said. "Finished up for the day, and I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" Eugene put his quill down hesitantly. Aaron was his first big show of power, the first punishment he'd dished. Everything else had been a variation of "keep doing what you're doing" as he settled into his new role. Who knew being in a position of power was so stressful?

(Everyone. Literally everyone.)

"I wanted to apologize for testing you, sir." The man shifted, eyes never meeting. His face was unreadable. "I wasn't sure you were going to be as..... sharp, as our previous captain. And I'm sorry for that."

"....Ok," Eugene said. "Thanks? I think?"

"So, I uh... wanted to do something for you." The man continues. "Me and a few others. It's sorta a ritual for guards. We didn’t do it before cuz of, yknow, Cassandra and stuff. And you're one of us now, so...?" He raised an eyebrow, a quiet invitation.

Oh boy.

Knowing these guys, it was probably something really stupid. Most of the guards were pretty nice, maybe a bit airheaded, but a lot of meatheads mostly. Big fans of machismo and showing their strength, boosting their ego, stuff like that. It's why none of them were fans of being run by a criminal. And no doubt Eugene would have to clean up their mess anyway, so he sighed deeply and rose from his seat. "Alright, what did you do now?"

Aaron placed a hand to his chest. "Why, sir, we did this out of the goodness of our heart! We're just welcoming you to the team!" He laughed a bit at that last part. He pointed out the door, leading his superior down the suspiciously empty barracks, and out into the courtyard.

About a dozen or so guards were outside, waiting. One of them was holding a horse's reins, and a crossbow.

"He's in!" Aaron called, and the guards all broke into cheers and raucous laughter.

"Yea, nice to see you guys too, uh. What am I... in?" Eugene asked, shifting awkwardly.

Aaron's smile widened. "It's just a fun little game, sir."

"The game is simple, really," Aaron slung an arm around Eugene's shoulder, pulling him close, not unlike how Lance does. But unlike his larger friend, this man is wiry, more of a weaselly kind of build, with stick thin arms that hide his muscle. "See, when someone new joins the guard, we test their skill by having them hunt down a beast in the nearby forest. Once they catch it, we all celebrate together! And welcome him into the ranks!" The guards all cheered, no doubt thrilled at the prospect.

"....right...." Eugene smiled uncomfortably, cheeks pulling and stretching, a puppet controlling the strings attached to his face. His stomach swirled, bouncing all over as he was passed around.

"But see, you're not just any guard, you're the Captain," Aaron's smile took an equally unpleasant demeanour. "So we figured we'd give you some extra... challenge." Outside of their little circle, no sounds could be heard. Not a peep from a cricket, or a cry from a bird, just dead silence in the surrounding glen. Just the crackle of torches, and the rustling of men.

"The beast for this occasion is small, smart, and fast. The goal is to catch it before it reaches the wall at Old Corona. All you gotta do is," he makes a noise with his mouth to emulate the crossbow. "Hit the target, and the rest of us will finish the job."

"Finish?" Eugene echoed.

The guards around him smiled with all of their teeth. "Well yea, we're not just gonna waste a perfectly good beast, are we?"

Eugene narrowed his eyes. If Rapunzel heard about this, no doubt she'd flip. "How will I know what I'm looking for? And why should I even approve of this?"

"Relax, sir," Aaron shook him, patting his chest with a heavy fist. "We're not just killing an innocent creature. It's always something that's been marked for slaughter, or is causing problems. And trust me," his voice deepened. "You'll know."

No horse was as good as Max, but that was probably for the best, what with his gut screaming about how this all felt so goddamn sketchy. "This isn't some trap where it turns out I'm the one being hunted, right? Cuz I don't want to shoot any of you with this," he joked, brandishing the crossbow.

"No, sir, not at all! In fact we'll be supporting you! No one makes the first shot until you do." He promised, patting the horse's flank. "Rest assured, no tricks here. Just a beast already marked for capture. Or recapture, in this case. We picked this one special for you."

"That sounds like it's supposed to be flattering but it really isn't."

Aaron shrugged. "Not my problem. Good luck!" With a smack to the horse, she cried out, spurring Eugene forward.

They rode through the Capital, out into Corona proper, lush with trees. At this time of night, no one would be about, not even thieves, laden in their straw beds and cots. The only things out right now are animals, or a beast, in this case. How is he supposed to know what he's looking for? What, is it going to be some giant thing with red eyes? No, Aaron said it was small, how the hell is he going to...

Then he hears it.

It's faint, almost like a windchime, but sure enough, the clanking of chains, and a small whimper. Somewhere through the trees there's a rustling, something moving. He can't make it out, the guards didn't give him a torch, but a blob of something rushes forward, the only thing he can make out the distinctive shine of metal, a chain reflecting in the moonlight.

Ah.

Eugene smirked, the rush of adrenaline from a chase beginning to pump through his veins. It'd been a while since an adventure without any stakes, without any daring challenges or risking death. The last time must've been... gosh, probably the Herz de Sonne misadventure? And even then he and Lance had just goofed off for the majority of it. Maybe the Spire? That one was much riskier but he and Rapunzel had been so outrageously drunk during that whole endeavor that it felt more like a fun jaunt.

He shook himself out of his reverie. Focus, Eugene! Fun or no, you're proving yourself to the guards! Show them that you're a worthy Captain beyond just barking orders and supporting the princess!

He spurred the horse forward, hooves thundering against the undergrowth and disturbing the leaves below. The beast let out a shriek, shrill and shaking, rushing forward. It weaved between trees, trying to throw Eugene off. Man, Aaron wasn't kidding about how fast it was. Even on horseback he couldn't keep up very well. The chains wrapped around the beast's legs screamed in complaint, clanking and clattering with each huff of its breath.

Eugene lowered the crossbow, sticking his tongue out. Steady... steady.... he fired.

The bolt whizzed through the air, lodging into a tree just a few feet away from its target. The beast flinched but didn't slow, scampering through the undergrowth, leaping over a fallen tree towards the river.

"Hyah!" He yelled, leading his horse over the log and splashing down into frigid waters. Water rushed past his horse's hooves, dulling the sound of chains, and when he looked around, the beast was gone.

Drat.

Eugene grumbled, reloading the crossbow before urging his horse onward. If this beast got away he'd never hear the end of it! They'd be all "Yes sir, Captain! We'll catch that criminal! As soon as you catch that beast!" And then they'd laugh and he'd moan and he'd have to go catch the criminal himself which is honestly not too far off from how it is already-

Anyway.

It took a few minutes to find it again, the beast trying to muffle it's movements by shuffling, but the metal song was too alluring to ignore. There was no time to waste. With the horse at a fast trot, quieter and steadier, he fired the bolt, this time getting much closer, barely whizzing past the silhouette and lodging into a tree trunk with a chunk of hair.

The creature cried out again, beginning to run and renew this dance of cat and mouse, but Eugene wouldn't have it. Dexterous fingers clasped a new bolt and quickly reloaded, giving barely a few seconds for the creature to try and run before firing again.

He didn't miss.

It was almost silent, the bolt's descent. Its tip gleamed in the moonlight alongside the chains keeping his prey in place, the one thing that slowed it and gave Eugene the upper hand. Whatever this beast was was quick, too quick, and if he lost it again, no doubt he'd never find it again. So when he aimed, he aimed down, and sure enough, the bolt embedded itself into the beast's calf, sending into stumbling.

It shrieked, screamed and sobbed in agony, noises bordering on almost human-like as it thrashed on the floor. The arrow stuck straight up, bright color on the end almost a beacon for the beast's location. Poor thing. He really should've just aimed for the head and put it out of its mercy, but this was the only way to ensure a clean shot.

Eugene slid off his horse, crouching low to the ground as he readied the final blow. But as he got nearer, as the moon hung lower in the sky, providing light through the filtering trees. He hesitated.

The beast was crawling, still trying to run, front legs pawing at the forest floor and clenching the leaves beneath with hands.

Hands...?

Eugene's stomach sank, lower and lower with each passing step, heart climbing higher and higher in his throat, the closer he got, the more ill he felt.

He saw the chains first. No, not chains like that on a cattle’s neck. Prison shackles, the kind wrapped around a prisoner's legs. And they were wrapped around legs, keeping strides from being too large.

And their torso.... clothed torso..... The beast heaved, each breath causing it to rise and fall with rapid panic.

The Captain's hands brushed against the tree with his other bolt embedded in it, eyes trailing onto it, and he froze.

Blue hair, stabbed by the bolt.

"No," he breathed. "No no no no no..." His boots picked up the pace, speed walking over to his catch, to his victim. Please, for the love of god, let him be wrong. Let this be a cruel prank, just a bear or deer dressed up to fool him... don't let it be...!

The creature heard him approach and sobbed, flipping itself over on shaking hands to get a better look at its assailant.

There, lightened by the moonlight, chest heaving, tears streaming down his face and blood oozing from his leg, was Varian.

"Varian....?" Eugene whispered, tears of his own budding when his friend whimpered, scooting back and away. With each step forward Varian scrambled back until his back hit a tree, at which point he curled into a ball. Like a frightened animal. Like a cornered beast.

Oh god... this whole time, he thought it was just one of the farm animals marked for slaughter, or a meddlesome woodland critter... he thought it was an animal destined for someone's table, so why not the guards'? Why on Earth did he agree to this? Was he so desperate for approval from his peers that he would simply shrug off the ringing alarm bells, put aside his gut instinct, and dive in blindly?

Yes, his mind whispered. You would, and you did.

"Hey, buddy," He leaned down, inching closer. "Varian, goggles, it's me. It's Team Awesome." His hand shook as he reached forward, but Varian flinched violently, causing his leg to spasm. The boy hiccuped, a hand clamping over his mouth to stifle his sobs. A small mercy came from the shadows of the night, with it too dark for details, Varian wouldn't see the blood rapidly soaking his pants.

The crossbow glinted, a sharp refraction bouncing off frightened blue eyes and causing him to wince. Eugene tossed the weapon away like it burned him.

"It's me, it's Eugene," he reassured, scooting closer bit by bit. "I'm here to help. I'm not gonna hurt you."

"You did," Varian gasped, whole form shaking. "You did."

And that really was the crux of it, wasn't it? At the center of Eugene's self loathing was the spiral of guilt that you shot him, you shot the kid. He trusted you, and you shot him.

"I know," he rasped, trying to keep his voice level. "I did. I'm so sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry." Varian sobbed, unfurling slightly if only to reach out for comfort. Even if this was the man who hurt him, who hunted him on horse and acted as the boogeyman straight out of nightmares, he was also Eugene, his friend, the one who stood up for him against Cass and Aaron, held his hand and promised he'd be there if Varian ever needed it. And god did he need him now.

Shaking, gloved hands connected in the middle, Eugene's grip gentle but grounding, a careful smile on his face. "That's it, bud. You're safe."

“Aw, ain’t that cute?”

Faster than a bullet, the smaller hand retracted, Varian’s eyes wide and horror-struck. In his attempt to comfort the boy, Eugene had let his guard down. He’d forgotten the final rule of the game.

No one moves until you make the first shot.

They were surrounded.

Aaron swaggered up to the duo with a grin, torch in hand. It flickered and sputtered, illuminating his blinding white grin amidst the darkness. The other guards formed a circle around them. Every other man carried a torch, while the rest had a weapon or tool or rope.

“The Captain has captured the beast! And in remarkable time, too.” Aaron simpered, waltzing up and gripping Varian’s cheeks in his hand. The boy snarled, teeth grit as he stared up at his bully.

From behind them came Aaron’s two buddies, the guards from before, each one wrapping an arm around Eugene’s shoulder, hauling him up and away.

For a moment, Eugene's insides were pure ice, frozen in time, unable to react despite the screaming in his mind as the puzzle pieces failed to connect. They jumbled and sloshed in his mind, the picture only half complete and the rest of the pieces strewn atop, obscuring the image from his view.

"Eugene...?" Varian whispered, thawing him.

"What have you done!?" He bellowed, anger hardening his voice. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" He strained against the guards.

"Just as we told you, sir!" Aaron mocked, forcing Varian to meet the Captain's gaze. "We captured a beast for you to hunt down! And now that you have," The grin was razor sharp, shark's fangs practically drenched in blood. "We'll dispose of it properly."

A guard from the circle threw a rope, the ends tied into a loop. Like a ring toss, the aim was true, ensnaring Varian's wrist and tightening when he pulled. Another guard followed suit, yanking the boy back and forth till his arms were spread eagle and unable to move.

Varian turned a stark white, paler than the moon that neared the horizon. He cried out, straining to try and escape, but another spasm from his leg paralyzed him. “N-no, please not again…!” He sobbed. “Let me go-!”

"Again!? Varian, what do you mean? VARIAN!" Eugene yelled. "VARIAN!"

The boy screwed his eyes shut, praying for the nightmare to end.

"LET HIM GO!" Eugene strained against the guards, lamenting once again, his own stupidity. He should've brought Max, or an actual weapon, like his sword, or something! He'd gone in totally blind, expecting that the guards were decent people and that this wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary. Honestly, he should've known better! After everything he's seen and done, never leave the house without a concealed weapon! You were almost executed by half these assholes!

When he gets back, he's firing everyone except Stan and Pete.

A third rope flashed through the air, this time with a loop larger than the others. It latched itself onto Varian's neck, wrapping tight and close. His eyes snapped open in pure terror, mouth opening in shock. But before the boy could protest or scream, the rope was pulled taut, and his face turned an awful shade of purple. He coughed, thrashing in place with tears of fear and hypoxia trailing his cheeks.

"Aw, the beast is scared! Doesn't he know how all animals are slaughtered?" Aaron cooed, faux sympathy marring his features. "You know, don't you? You were raised on a farm, after all." His question went unanswered, Varian too busy rasping for breath to respond.

The man with the rope pulled harder, forcing Varian's face down into the dirt where his muffled cries barely caused the leaves beneath to move. A steel boot stomped onto his head, and the cries went still.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?" Eugene bellowed, the protective instincts in his mind going haywire, overheating and exploding with pure rage and an intense need to save him, free him. He let this happen, if he had been smarter, stronger, if he hadn't shot him, hadn't let his guard down, hadn't shrugged and taken the guards' words at face value… “Oh relax, it'll be painless!” Aaron hummed, producing a knife from his belt. “The beast didn’t answer the question, but, I’m sure you can figure out how animals are killed after falling unconscious.” He jokingly slashed the dagger in the air above his throat, and Eugene saw red.

"YOU ARE SO FIRED!" He screeched at Aaron. "WHEN RAPUNZEL FINDS OUT-"

"Oh?" Aaron mocked, turning around and placing a hand to his chest daintily. "When the princess finds out? You're making her do all the heavy lifting?" He sauntered up to Eugene, hips swaying with each step till they were nose to nose. "This is your job, sir. You are in charge of keeping us in line, keeping the prisoners in their place."

"Varian is NOT a prisoner," Eugene hissed, meeting his gaze with pure fury. "He is a friend, my friend, my brother."

"Perhaps to Eugene Fitzherbert, but not a Captain of the Guard." Aaron shrugged.

Eugene lowered his head. For a brief moment, Aaron grinned victoriously. Now he's getting it.

"Too bad for you, I'm both."

Aaron's face fell, the cheerful facade falling into a brutal glower. "What does that mea-"

He was cut off when Eugene slammed his face into Aaron's, hitting the bastard's nose with a CRUNCH. He staggered back, and his buddies loosened their grip on Eugene to see if he's ok. It's all the advantage Eugene needed, quickly pushing them both off him and charging Aaron. His shoulder bowled into Aaron, sending him sprawling, and Eugene only stopped to grab the dagger he dropped before sprinting for Varian's crumpled form.

"Oh sun, please be ok, come on kid," Eugene chanted, slashing the rope around his neck. It leaves a brutal ring of red around his neck, as do the ones around his wrist when they're dispatched. There was no time to remove the chains, what with the remaining guards quickly regaining their senses and gearing up for a fight.

He lifted Varian up into his arms as if he were made of glass. Dark black hair lolled against the Captain's chest as he stood to his full height, glaring down at his employees, the hazers, the conspirators.

There was no hope of taking them all on, that much was clear. Charging into battle with hands full and armed only with a knife was stupid. He'd have to outrun them, play the game, and make it to Old Corona where Quirin could protect his son and he could get actual backup from loyal men.

Perhaps this was the true game, the true test of his worthiness.

Aaron snarled, staggering up while clutching his nose. "GET HIM!"

Eugene crouched, letting the first guard try and charge him before jumping out of the way at the last second. This he was used to, dodging men who wanted nothing more than to hurt and destroy what he held dear, making a run for it to the relative safety of the familiar. He fell into the old routine without too much difficulty, leaping over heads and ducking under blows. It helped that Varian barely weighed more than a few grapes, still a stick from his year in prison. He and the others had been hard at work trying to help him gain at the very least some muscle, though Varian was a big fan of skipping meals for science.

According to Quirin he's had that habit for a while, and right now it was a minor blessing.

Huh, he thought to himself as he dodged a crossbow bolt, taking off into the trees. Captain of the Guard isn't all that off from my usual life, just with some added benefits. Another arrow nearly took off his ear. Yea, same old stuff.

His feet pounded against the forest floor, dredging up leaves and dirt alike as he ran. There was no time to cover his tracks or be discreet, there was a whole battalion after him, so it wouldn't do much good anyway. But as his steps quickened, as Varian bounced up and down in his arms, the chains still rattling, the boy stirred, groaning in pain with each motion.

"Gene...?" He mumbled, muffled through the man’s coat.

"Hey kid," Eugene grinned down, not slowing for a second. "Glad to see you're ok. How's your throat?"

"On fire..." a weak hand pawed at his throat, rubbing the soreness away.

"Sorry about that, you're gonna be just fine, ok? It's all gonna be ok."

Varian hummed, eyes glossy and not fully there. His head fell back onto Eugene's chest, a soft smile full of love that he didn't deserve. "K. I trust you."

Varian fell back into an uneasy sleep after that, his breaths wheezing against Eugene, lips stained blue and face clammy. Anytime exhaustion tried to creep into his bones, tried to sneak into his soul and drain him to surrender, he looked down at Varian and his spirit would renew.

At some point, they were hiding behind a tree, keeping to the intense darkness. A few guards could be heard not too far off, their annoyed mutterings like an alarm bell, a siren's song of false security. Just as they passed, Varian coughed, clutching at the fabric for comfort. It was an ugly sound, weak and ragged, as if there was something coming up.

When he looked down, those blue lips were now stained red.

He picked up the pace after that.

But even he couldn't run forever, no matter how light Varian was or how determined he was. Inevitably he had to stop for water, hiding Varian behind a fallen tree and drinking from a stream whose sounds hid them from view.

He just finished his own drink when Varian stirred, and the Captain was quick to help Varian get some water of his own.

They sat by the stream for a bit, catching their breaths, Eugene from exertion, and Varian from strangulation.

It was here that Varian recounted his side of the story, tears dripping and mixing with the stream below him. "I was so scared..." he whispered, voice hoarse.

"I bet," Eugene soothed, running a thumb over Varian's palm. "What happened?"

"....I got jumped," his eyes turned downcast, shame coloring his features. "T-they grabbed me when I was gonna head home. Said that they wanted to make it up to me, to... to give me "a job befitting my talents"...." He sighed. "You can probably guess what that was, huh."

Eugene's ears burned. A flame simmered in his gut, nausea falling away as his free hand clenched at the leaves below him. "Yea. I can." He bit out.

For a moment, neither spoke, unsure of what to say. What could they say? The situation was insane, it was cruel, it was... it was…

Varian hacked, more blood than before coming up and splattering on the shackles that remained.

"Oh, let me get those," Eugene hissed. "I'm sorry, shit," He fumbled for his pockets, procuring a lock pick and making quick work of the shackles. "We gotta move. We can't let them find us." His hands hovered over the bolt, unsure. "Can I... I mean, you can't run with..."

Varian turned a shade of green, barely visible. “It’s stopping the blood from coming out.”

"Yea, good point, sorry." He coughed awkwardly, the stream bubbling and gurgling a simple melody.

"Why do... why do you keep apologizing?" Varian asked, not meeting Eugene's eye for a second.

"Wh- seriously?" He let out a bark of laughter, fading when Varian's face didn't change. "Kid, it's my fault you're in this mess! Sun above, I shot you. I said I'd keep you safe and I shot you." Anger swelled in his words, but Varian didn't flinch. He knew it wasn't directed at him. "Some Captain I am, I'm being chased by my own guys."

Varian bit his lip. "Did..." he hesitated to ask. If the answer wasn't what he was hoping for, he'd never recover. "Did you know it was me?"

"No!" Eugene's eyes widened. "No, I never would've agreed if I knew it was a person, let alone you!" He ran a hand through frazzled hair.

"So..." Varian hummed. "You shot me on accident, and then saved me. Again. Even when your men tried to convince you otherwise." Each sentence was slow, filled with Varian needed to take in a breath, but he met his friend's eyes this time. "I think that's a pretty good Captain."

Eugene blinked, then smiled. "Thanks, kid."

Dark voices shouted across the clearing, words incomprehensible. Varian jolted, hands flying up before doubling over hacking. Each cough shook his body so hard you’d think the boy was trembling with fright.

“Woah, easy,” Eugene’s hand rubbed over his back. “Deep breaths. Come on goggles. You got this.”

“You would think,” Varian rasped. “But I do not.”

Finally, with one final hack, his coughs ceased. Each gulp of air felt like heaven, or at least it did for the first few seconds. Then it was replaced by a searing hell, leaving him scrambling again.

God, what is the culprit?

As his breathing quieted, as the burn turned to a small simmer, Varian’s eyes trailed to the forest floor beneath him.

Stained with blood.

Varian’s eyes widened, his pupils shrunk to pinpricks as his entire world focused in on the blood. The dark blues of night left it hard to see, more a black shine than the vicious red, but there was no denying what it was.

“What-oooh,” Eugene hissed, grabbing Varian’s shoulders for support. Shit, this was bad. He made a mental list of symptoms for the inevitable doctor visit: raspy voice, struggling to breathe, coughing up blood... all signs pointed to the noose as the culprit. Whichever guard had tried to strangle Varian was getting fired and arrested.

No, screw it, all of them were.

“Focus on me, hair stripe,” he warned, shaking his brother slightly. “Are you ok to move?” All he got was a weedy moan.  “I’m taking that as a maybe.” With no preamble, he scooped his arms under Varian’s knees and back, pulling him into his arms as he stood in one fluid motion. “I’m gonna try and make a run for it, ok? We’re almost to your dad. I just need you to stay with me.”

Silence, and then a faint nod moving against his coat.

Each step sent vibrations up Eugene’s spine, tingling and thrumming in his veins and pounding in time with his heart. The sun would be rising soon, it had to be, with the dew that is forming at his feet.

At some point Varian readjusted, shifting so that he could see over their shoulders. He couldn’t run, couldn’t fight, but at least he could keep an eye out.

And it’s a good thing he did, when he beats wildly at Eugene’s chest in a signal. The captain was about to duck behind a bush, but the forest’s edge is within sight! Maybe if they made a break for it...?

An arrow grazed his side.

The pain looped through his system, joining the adrenaline for a joyride through his mind and it sent him sprawling. Varian rolled out of his arms, collapsing at the forest’s edge.

Eugene groaned, raising his face with the sun to see Aaron’s smug grin glowing in the upcoming dawn.

“Well, look what I caught! A daddy beast and a baby beast!” He said.

Eugene gaped. “Could you be any creepier? Really, gotta go for the weirdest shit to say, don’t you?”

“Eh,” Aaron shrugged, crossbow in hand. He stepped past his boss (Er, ex boss), boots crunching on leaves and leaving nothing but dust in their wake. “I’m a weird guy, I guess.”

“Yea, a real weirdo. Kidnaps a teenager and has the captain hunt him for sport. A nice quirk, ain’t it!” Each word is angrier than before until he is spitting acid.

Aaron doesn’t even argue; he’s too caught up in his victory. Varian shook as he struggled to sit up, arms quivering with effort. Just as he raised his head his eyes met the gleaming tip of an arrow, aimed right between the eyes. “Say goodnight, kid. Don’t worry. I’ll make a fine trophy out of you. Hang your goggles over my mantle.”

“Would you knock it the fuck off!?” Eugene wheezed, scrambling up. His feet gave out near instantly, but he leapt forward, colliding with the guard and driving his aim up. The arrow whizzed overhead, harmlessly lodging into a tree.

“Varian, run!” Eugene yelled, still on top of the other.

“I CAN’T! What part of arrow in my leg don’t you get!?” Varian yelled, immediately followed by coughing.

Eugene went to answer, only for the butt of the crossbow to whack him in the face.

Aaron laughed, loud and manic, the sound like nails on a chalkboard. It was quickly stopped by a punch to his stomach from the furious man above him. If the others found them, it’d be game over. Literally.

Whether or not Eugene would be killed was unclear. While he didn’t always need Rapunzel to save him, her good graces granted him immunity from most local threats. But they’d definitely kill Varian, and that was the bigger concern to him.

Unfazed, Aaron slammed his skull into Eugene’s, sending him tearing back. The guard quickly flipped them, crossbow still in between.

“Face it,” Aaron snarled. “You’ll never be a true captain. You can’t control your men, can’t protect a kid, can’t even protect yourself. You just got the job because you saved the lost princess.”

“In my defense,” Eugene wheezed. “Your previous guard couldn’t do that either.” That only angered him more, digging the crossbow into Eugene’s Adam’s apple.

The two men wrestled briefly, Eugene finally getting a good grip on the crossbow, and kicking Aaron off of him. He scrambled to Varian, fully prepared to scoop him up and begin the dance again, just for a little longer, but Aaron just yelled out in anger, drawing a sword from his belt. As strong as Eugene was, he couldn’t outrun him with Varian in his arms. He would know, he trained his men to match him in speed and strength.

Varian moaned in pain. He had to do something, he couldn’t just sit here! Eugene had spent the whole night running around, working his ass off to keep him safe after the initial mistake, he couldn’t let him down...

But the arrow scraped against his bone, pain sending stars across his vision any time he stood…

The captain’s hands clenched down on wood, eyes calculating. He looked into Varian’s eyes, then down at his leg. Then up again. And down again. He hissed between teeth, kneeled down, and clenched his fist around the arrow. It sent a pulse of pain through Varian’s leg, the boy wincing, but understanding.

“Do it,” he hissed.

And yanked.

The pain was so sharp, so intense, that for a moment Varian was certain he was dead. There was no way anyone could survive with this much pain, he must surely be dead or dying. White hot agony stabbed into his leg, and he bit so hard on his lip he broke skin. It took everything in him not to scream.

Aaron laughed again, shadow blanketing them. Eugene turned to see him looming over them, sword above his head. “Say goodnight, Sir!” he shrieked.

Fwip!

Thunk!

The man’s grin vanished in an instant, replaced by sheer shock at the arrow sticking straight into his throat. Blood trickled down the wound, looking more like an impulse tracheotomy. Suddenly, he pitched forward, face hitting the forest floor with a sickening shick as the arrow went the rest of the way through his throat. There wasn’t even a struggle, no death rattles or cry of pain, just the sounds of a morning dove in the coming dawn.

Eugene’s shoulders slumped, and Varian leaned back into the cool grass.

“You doing alright there, Goggles?” Eugene called.

“My lungs are on fire, I can’t feel my legs and I’m sweating in places I didn’t even know I could sweat. I’d say I’m in the mood to die, but I literally just spent the whole night trying to prevent that.”

“...fair enough.”

-

The weeks that followed were, for lack of a better term, a total fucking nightmare.

After pulling themselves together, the brothers managed to hobble to Varian’s house in Old Corona, just in time to greet Quirin at the door. Imagine the poor man’s shock when he was headed out to work only to be greeted by his son’s blood and the captain’s exhaustion. Suffice to say, they got a proper tongue lashing the whole cart ride to Corona proper, the father fussing over them both while he rushed them to the infirmary. And then they had to get chewed out by Rapunzel, and Lance, and pretty much everyone else, despite their repeated insistence that it wasn’t their fault this time.

“What did you expect us to do? We were being hunted!” Eugene whined at Rapunzel while a nurse cleaned up a cut.

“Uh, I was being hunted. You were hunting me .” Varian hoarsely piped up from his own bed, leg propped up in a cast. He paused at the frantic stop motion Eugene was making, and the paling faces of his father and princess. “Oh. Was I. Not supposed to say that.”

“You’re not supposed to be talking,” Rapunzel chided lightly, though that was clearly not the problem. The doctor had been pretty quick to explain Varian’s breathing issues were just from the throat trauma, and would heal with time and supervision.

“I didn’t know! In my defense,” Eugene held up his hands as if to shield from Quirin’s murderous face, but if looks could kill he’d be a pile of bones. “I didn’t know.”

“How do you…” Quirin pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to remind myself that you saved my son’s life and ignore the part where you endangered it in the first place.”

“Yes, please do,” He said, shifting under the glare.

And then came the paperwork.

Trying to figure out who among the guards was part of the hunt was hard enough, seeing as outside of Aaron and his cronies, no one was going to say a word. All they had to go off of were the men who saw Eugene off, and the ones who initially captured Varian. And since they hadn’t run into anyone else directly, no one could be properly accused and charged. But Eugene wasn’t going to take any chances, and therefore anyone who he saw at least once was fired, and if they wanted to dispute it they could come to him and explain why they were willing to throw his little brother to the wolves.

Suffice to say, no one did. Which left Eugene with only two thirds his original squadron. He spent a good while of his recovery vetting new recruits and creating incentives for others to try out, and while he was able to replenish his ranks, they weren’t nearly the same elite task force they’d started with. And considering the threats they faced on the regular, that was a serious problem.

It was after a long day of training and interviews that Eugene finally stumbled into the castle library, ready to destress with a nice long binge read of Flynn Rider. He grabbed a few books off the shelves as he walked, headed for his favorite couch and the cozy fireplace at its side, only to stop dead in his tracks.

Varian lay spread across the couch, foot propped up on the armrest as he glossed over some scientific text that Eugene had no hope of understanding. His eyes flitted up and down the page, clearly not actually reading and more just staring at the words.

“Hey,” Eugene called, and Varian barely reacted. “Oi, kid, that’s my spot. Scooch it.” “I got here first,” Varian said, not looking up for a second.

“Older brother gets first dibs.”

“Little brother gets his way.”

Oh he was gonna play it like that was he? Eugene smirked, plopping his books down at the floor before collapsing directly on top of Varian, making care to not crush the injured leg. Varian squawked in protest, limbs flailing.

“Get off! You’re heavy!” he yelled, trying to push him off. When that failed, he resorted to whacking at him.

“Never!” Eugene laughed. “Your little punches feel like flowers!”

“I have an iron deficiency!” Varian responded, cheeks red but smiling slightly. The captain finally stopped suffocating him, but didn’t get off, instead wiggling in close so they could share. “Mean,” Varian whined, a pout on his lips, but didn’t complain.

“Oh hush,” Eugene chided, grabbing a book from the floor. “You know you love me.”

Varian simply hummed, buck teeth peeking through a tiny grin. “So, what did you grab for today?”

“Ah, glad you asked!” Eugene held up the cover, which Varian oohed in appreciation. “One of the older ones, came out when I was your age.” He wrapped an arm around Varian, pulling his brother close, the warmth of his side and the fire combining to create a heavenly cocoon. “You want to read, or should I?”

“Your turn,” Varian responded, stifling a yawn.

The book creaked in protest, Eugene gazing down at his little brother with a smile. He leaned his cheek on the boy’s hair, deep voice dripping with fondness as he started to read.

Being Captain was fun, but being a brother was even better.

[sodacansculptures]

Hello, everyone!!

Just wanted to give an update on my life and my absence. It is a bit depressing, so feel free to skip the rest of this post. I am on mobile and do not know how to do a "read more", so I apologize.

The TL;DR version is that I have been struggling with unemployment for over a year (thanks, covid) and have become very discouraged in my efforts, and I am essentially in survival mode while battling depression. I do have a therapist and I know I will ultimately be okay--just not having a particularly good time at the moment.

The full version is that in 2018, finishing grad school became my top priority and was why I had to take a break from sculpting. I graduated in May of 2020 with my Master's, and I had a job lined up with a university, but it got withdrawn because the whole university shut down. As far as I know, the position was never re-offered or re-posted.

The industries for which my degrees qualify me and that I am pursuing were highly affected by budget cuts and project cancelations due to the pandemic, so they have many displaced workers seeking reentry into the field, resulting in unusually high numbers of applicants and competition for people such as myself. (USA Today actually interviewed me for my expertise on this topic.)

Lower-tier jobs pass over me because I am overqualified and they assume I will be pursuing other employment, leaving them with turnover, which is expensive to any agency. Higher-tier jobs are in high demand as they offer better wages and better working conditions, so they have a large crop of candidates from which to pick and elect someone with more experience than myself (and obviously I cannot gain more experience without employment). I am in a sort of impossible situation that has left everyone involved in my employment search with frustration.

Over the past year, I have enlisted the help of an employment training/retention program and multiple staffing agencies, and they have been extremely supportive of me and helped me expand my network. I have sought out much help, and I am endlessly grateful to have support, but unfortunately there is little they can do more than what I have already been doing for myself to gain employment.

I have a stellar resume, an awesome number of favorable and practical references, and I always study the agency and position to which I am applying so I can write an informed cover letter and have relevant talking points during interviews. I put a lot of time and effort into every opportunity, and when I inquire for feedback, employers repeatedly tell me that they admire my resourcefulness and work ethic and think I would be an extremely valuable worker, but another candidate just had a little more experience. It is heartbreaking to know I have done my best and interviewed excellently but ultimately end up back at square one. I honestly wish there was something I was doing wrong so that there was something tangible I could improve to fix my situation.

My effort feels invisible to the outside world and it seems the public assumes I am on a sort of easy vacation. In reality, every day for me is full of uncertainty, and every day, I wish I could be working. I get by utilizing my skills from high school robotics and self-instruction via the internet to repair, restore, and upgrade old electronics, but it is not stable work and not for what I went to school.

Additionally, I have been deemed not to qualify for Unemployment for a nonsensical rationalization. They ask for employment history in order to calculate how much to pay, but for some reason, student jobs do not count as jobs to them. So although they have me in their system as having been employed as a graduate assistant, they both demand to know from my previous employer what that wage was (and the institution would not forward that wage information to Unemployment because it is a student job and irrelevant to Unemployment's calculations), and would not consider that, anyway, in how much to pay me. So essentially, Unemployment could not figure out how much to pay me, so they just decided not to. I have opened appeals over the situation with them twice, and I have been rejected twice and had the case closed with no opportunity to reopen it. It is a huge slap in the face that even the social system put in place to help people such as myself has failed me and turned me away.

I would take a factory job or do some other physical labor since those are hiring, but I have plantar fasciitis and being on my feet for more than an hour or so at a time just is not feasible for me. I was receiving physical therapy for it at one point, but insurance stopped covering it because they decided I should have had enough visits by now to have recovered. I'm also struggling to get my insurance to cover things like treatment for GERD, which makes eating anything at all a nightmare to deal with.

I have been getting by mostly on pity from family and friends. I do not have unnecessary things like wifi, and I have a lot of expenses I had been putting off because I assumed I would have a job by now (such as a vacuum cleaner. Mine is broken). It kills me to ask for money because it's embarrassing for me that I can't provide for myself, and I got into the field of public administration because I want to be a servant to the people and help them have resources and money, not take money from them.

If you don't have a lot of money, please keep it for yourself. I'm not hurting that badly that I would want to put others in a precarious situation. But if you have a little change you'd like to spare for me (and absolutely no pressure. If I receive nothing, I will still be okay), my Venmo and my PayPal are each @asclw7643. Any little bit would help and I'd be greatly appreciative.

Finally, I did finish that project I was posting about last year in my previous post. I want to post a photo of it, but I can't seem to locate where I put it at the moment. It's Kicks from Animal Crossing. I wanted to do a series of wooden block sprites (mainly Pokemon) and I do still want to. I want to come back to soda can sculpting, as well, so I want to let you all know that I'm here, I'm alive, and I'll persist.

Thank you all for your patience. I promise it will be rewarded and I have a lot of ideas for new sculptures. =]

With love,

- Crystal

(or Cris. I go by either.)

[komfortkiri]

HELP WANTED (PART 1)

WOLF QUIRK F!READER x HANTA SERO x EIJIRO KIRISHIMA WORD COUNT: 1,724 TW/CW: BULLYING MENTION, PARENTAL ABANDONMENT, PANIC ATTACK MENTION (ONCE)

NOTES: I’ll make a banner for this series whenever I get my shit together on Photoshop, lol. I’ve been on a Sero/Kiri thing lately plus this was brewing in my head so I wanted to hurry and type it all down before I forgot it.

“ HELP WANTED! 3RD AND FINAL ROOMMATE FOR A 3 BEDROOM, 2 BATH HOUSE. — MUST BE RESPONSIBLE AND RELIABLE. TEXT THE NUMBER FOR ANY QUESTIONS. NAME IS KIRI. ”

You had been staring at this ad for a couple of days now. Surely they must have found someone by now, right? You were new around the area and being on your own, wasn’t quite what you had imagined. Your parents? Well, your mom up and decided to leave you behind after bringing you home from the hospital and your dad.. He’s always been there but you wanted to prove you could finally be on your own. You were 24 for God’s sake, of course you could do it, but sometimes— you found yourself wondering if you bit off more than you could chew. Living in this big city full of crazy quirks of all kind, including yours, it was pretty overwhelming.

Oh, your quirk? Well, you were part wolf and people could tell that from looking at you, due to your pointed black ears that rested on either side of the top of your head plus a tail that was pretty fluffy and was also black in color.. Can’t forget the fangs that you have, too. Your howl could deafen someone for a brief amount of time, distracting them. You also had the agility which mean you could run— fast. 

Growing up wasn’t easy at all. You were often teased about your appearance. Kids would pull your tail, thinking it didn’t hurt you when in reality, it did. You spent majority of your childhood wondering why you had to have such an awful quirk, blaming your father since he was also part wolf. However, as you got older, you became more mature and focused more on yourself. Of course, you apologized to your father, which brought the two of your closer, allowing you to confess the reasoning behind why your child days were so… dark and why you lashed out in such ways. 

Your father was a strong man, taking on a few jobs at a time to support you and his self while also keeping the bills paid on time. You admired him for that but you didn’t want to depend on him anymore which led you to where you are right this second— staring at this damned ad, wondering when you’re going to build up some type of courage to text the number. “Oh, for all that is holy, just do it.” You grew tired of being scared so you brought out your phone and texted the number.

TO KIRI: Hey… I was texting about your ad about needing a third roommate and wanted to inquire about it, if you haven’t found anyone yet.

You thought about it again.. What if it was a scam? Oh, you literally brought your palm to your forehead, tapping it a times then halted when your phone buzzed. You looked at the screen, eyes widening in surprise because it was the number from the ad. You had your phone set to where you wouldn’t be able to see previews of your messages unless you unlocked it fully. You braced yourself for a ‘Sorry, we’ve found someone’ or something along those lines. You wouldn’t be surprised since it did take you forever to even act on this whole thing. You swiped left on the message, unlocked your phone, squeezing your eyes shut then took a deep breath. Your right eye slowly opened, eyesight adjusting to the brightness of your screen then falling amongst the words of this Kiri’s response. Your other eye shot open in shock, both your ears perking up.

FROM KIRI: Awesome! We haven’t really had any luck with anyone reliable.. so since that’s the case.. would you mind if me and the other roommate meet you for, say.. coffee? How’s tomorrow morning sound around 8:30-ish?

Thinking to yourself, were you reliable? Of course, you were. Responsible? Absolutely. You worked at a local animal shelter, coincidentally. You worked more with dogs than cats, though, which came with the territory. Dogs obviously gravitated more to you given your natural wolf scent that only they detected with their sense of smell. Recently, you were moved into a management position so you were paid pretty well, which struck up this whole idea to be on your own, per se. Before you could think any further, did you work tomorrow? No, perfect. You rolled over onto your stomach on your bed, tail moving from side-to-side.

TO KIRI: Of course! That sounds great. There’s a coffee shop a few blocks from where I currently stay.. called Camille’s Cafe, not sure if you have heard of it or would prefer something else?

Were you coming off pushy? Demanding? At this point, you didn’t know and you were so nervous that it was driving you crazy but before you could go into panic mode— you got a text back, agreeing on the meeting place and everything. That was… easy.. almost too easy.. Either way, you were thankful they wanted to meet in a public setting in case they really were scammers. That’s when the thought had hit you.. What if they were guys? Kiri didn’t necessarily sound like a guy’s name.. did it? You laughed at your overthinking. No way these were guys.

With that, you looked at the clock on your bedroom wall, it reading 9:30 PM. You decided to go ahead and settle into bed to get enough rest so you didn’t look like a walking zombie when you met your potential roommates for coffee. You plugged in your phone to the charger and laid down, laying awake for an extra hour or so before drifting to sleep.

After a long day of getting phone call after phone call, text after text from different people saying they were interested in their ad, Eijiro and Hanta were close to giving up. Everyone who showed interest had some type of flaw about them, whether it be a bad history of paying rent on time or being an awful roommate in the past. It was becoming annoying, to say the very least. After denying everyone who reached out, Eijiro thought it was best to just block all the numbers to prevent further contact.

“Bro, I’m beginning to lose hope. We probably won’t ever find someone else to move in with us.” Hanta sat down on the couch in the living room with a sigh, kicking his feet up on the table in front of him. “Might as well talk to Kats about ditching that condo he’s in to move in over here with us.” They had thought about that a few times but even the slight mention of a roommate the first time, their friend, Katsuki, was the first to say not to even consider him because he valued his privacy. They didn’t press further because they understood and knew how he was. 

Eijiro sat on the other end of the couch, directly across from Hanta, leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands. “You know exactly how that’ll go, Sero. I say the next person that texts us, we invite to coffee and really figure shit out. It’s been days since we posted that ad, and you know that we need the help we can get.” Hanta nodded in agreement then both their eyes shot down to Eijiro’s phone that lit up with a unsaved number, inquiring about the roommate situation. Hanta moved over to the same side as where Eijiro was to sit down once the red head picked up his phone to look at the message. 

“Huh, look at that! It’s almost like this person heard you.” Hanta chuckled, looking over the message. “What do you think? Coffee?” Eijiro nodded then sent his first text out in response to the inquirer.

TO (YOU): Awesome! We haven’t really had any luck with anyone reliable.. so since that’s the case.. would you mind if me and the other roommate meet you for, say.. coffee? How’s tomorrow morning sound around 8:30-ish?

Sero scowled, “8:30 in the morning, dude? You really must be desperate because we sleep till like noon on our days off. That or you’re hoping it’s a girl.” He laughed then got up to circle around the furniture to head to the kitchen. “I mean, it might be a girl… and it might be good for us. Could teach us a few things.” Kirishima didn’t think about what all that last statement could entail but Sero, thankfully, didn’t catch onto it. “I guess so. Did they respond?” Just as soon as he finished asking his question, another text came through. 

“How do you feel about Camille’s down the road?” Kirishima looked over to Sero who thought for a minute then shrugged with a nod, “Alright, yeah. I could go for one of her bagels. We haven’t seen the lady in a while so we should pay her a visit.” Camille was an older woman who had a heart of gold and loved both Kirishima and Sero. They always were such gentleman when they came in but they stopped going once the crime rate escalated the past few weeks. 

“That’s true. I told the person it sounded great so. Let’s head to bed so we can actually wake up early and look decent instead of a mess.” Kirishima rose from the sofa to head toward his room. Sero called out, “Wouldn’t have to get beauty sleep at all if you didn’t schedule this meeting at the crack ass of dawn.” With that, Kirishima held out his arm behind him, giving Sero the middle finger. “Stop your bitching and go to bed, princess.”

Sero laughed and both settled into bed for the night. While one went to sleep pretty quick, the other laid awake, wondering who this mystery person could be. The thought of whether it was a female or not, really stuck to Eijiro’s mind. He had hoped that if it was, they wouldn’t be scared away by the fact that they’d be living with two guys should they accept the offer at all. Kirishima wanted them to be as comfortable as possible and that’s what he intended on doing and without noticing, he drifted into a deep sleep.

[chibivesicle]

Hi, I just read about postponing your meta-writing activities. I hope you've recovered from your covid-infection, and that work has been less stressful to you. I wish you the best and I'm looking forward to read your thoughts on GK again some day :)

Hello,

Thanks for the kind message! I finally finished reading the manga (I ended up letting a bunch of the chapters pile up so I could just read them all). I'm looking to post a reaction to the end of the manga, sometime this month between all the regular life things.

After starting to search for a new job in 2019 (god that hurts my brain to type it out), I finally found a new job and got an awesome offer and all that stuff. But now, it means packing up my home and cat and moving ~1,000 miles in a north and east direction in about a month or so.

The pandemic pretty much killed the job market in 2020 and I had to continue with my current job, which was very stressful from spring 2020-spring 2021. And then fall 2021 reaallllyyyy damn well destroyed me for a whole host of reasons - I had to put in for promotion for my job that I technically didn't want to be promoted for - everyone was excited to be in person for about a week and then collapsed - I got freakkin' strep and it sucked horribly - I got to spend American Thanksgiving recovering from strep on crazy antibiotics which made traveling lovely (I'm still bummed out I didn't have to poop in DFW airport b/c Texas). I had a brief and lovely visit at Christmas to see friends I hadn't seen in years - but then got Covid on the way back and that sucked so bad. The last time I'd been that sick was in fall 2010. Which was likely H1N1 in retrospect.

I swear, I can write a guide about how to look for a new job remotely and the soul sucking levels of shit you have to wade through. Wow, I sound so lovely, but it is true - I worked my full time job and remotely networked in two different locations and applied to jobs. It was - a lot. Writing my GK meta had been a way to deal with my frustration around my current role and at first helped with my eventual decision to leave my current position. The longer the search went on, in the pandemic (which is still totally a pandemic) the less I could motivate myself to write the meta. Like many people, in mid-2021 I looked for a therapist, got wait listed and finally found someone, who has been great. This should be no shock to my readers as I wrote a very personal meta a long time ago with my relationship with my own mental health and what I know is a life long struggle with depression. One of the suggestions of this excellent therapist was to cut back on the busy work that was overtaxing my burnt out brain with my day job. This included:

1.) pausing my watching of the drama Nirvana in Fire, because that is a great drama for detail nerds like myself. You have no idea how much I loved trying to predict things with limited information and I was doing a damn good job of it. I haven't forgotten you NiF, I'll watch you when I'm in my new location.

2.) forcing myself to write GK meta when it was a slog. Now, that I've finished the manga, I will continue to note that the overall, depth and quality dropped after the Karafuto arc. Does this make me think the entire manga was terrible? No, it is still a very very solid manga and I still love certain aspects of it. But it did not deliver a satisfying ending for me. However, other than being the same age as the GK readers in Japan, I do not have anything else in common with them.

3.) encouraging me to do other sorts of activities that were more relaxing or to watch/read things that were still good but not going to turn my brain into full on 'must examine every little detail mode' which is actually bloody hell for me to not just do automatically.

I am so thankful that I was lucky enough to find a professional at the time I needed it. Yet at the same time, I'm really disappointed at how mental health care is soooo hard to get for many people. We are going to be unpacking the layers of collective PTSD we all have from the impact of the pandemic - for years - maybe even the rest of our lives.

An unusual result of the manga and reading about Ogata did result in me adopting my cat when I did. I can thank Noda for that idea, I love my cat and he was adopted long before the pandemic lock downs, but it was nice to have him around. Unlike most cats, he loved lock down and got to see me all day every day. He was more upset I returned to work in the summer of 2020 than one would have expected but all in all he's a lovely cat.

Anyhoo, I'll likely write out a few metas here and there before putting a bow on it and calling it good. The manga may have ended on a let down, but I found a great community in the fandom and can't thank Noda enough for that. United by a love and interest in Ogata.

[ladyherenya]

This was more-books-than-sometimes month, because rather than take the time to write about the books I'd finished, I just read more books! Also, I read a lot over the Easter break, including some shorter books and a very binge-able series.

Also read: Two-Step and Someone Like Me by Stephanie Fournet, Hooked by Cathy Yardley, “Cloudy with a Chance of Dropbears” and “All the Different Shades of Blue” by W.R. Gingell, and “Home: Habitat, Range, Niche, Territory” by Martha Wells.

Reread: A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer.

Total: nineteen novels (including two audiobooks and one reread), one novella collection, two novellas, two novelettes and one short story.

Cover thoughts: Bellewether’s blue cover is (unsurprisingly) my favourite. I also really like The Ghosts of Sherwood. 

Still reading: A Portrait of Loyalty by Roseanna M. White and Playing Hearts by W.R. Gingell.

Next up: Torch by R.J. Anderson.

My full reviews are on Dreamwidth and LibraryThing.

*

The Rose Code by Kate Quinn (narrated by Saskia Maarleveld): Historical mystery about three young women who worked at Bletchley Park during WWII.

My favourite out of the books I’ve read so far this year. Most of the narrative is set during the war, but interspersed with sections set in 1947 -- when Beth, in a sanitarium after a breakdown, has sent her two estranged friends a coded message begging for help. I loved this, but at times found it stressful and heartbreaking! The writing is so lively and effective and emotional. 4½ ★

 *

Castle Charming by Tansy Raynor Roberts: Fairytale retellings, collection of novellas.

A very entertaining and a somewhat different take on fairytales, focusing on the reporters, Royal Hounds and royalty at Castle Charming. Some of the character dynamics felt similar to those in Roberts’ Unreal Alchemy although I didn’t feel quite as attached to these characters. I’ll read the sequel. 3 ★ 

*

Bellewether by Susanna Kearsley: Historical and contemporary fiction, set in Long Island during the so-called Seven Years War in 1759 and the present day.

Alternates between a curator overseeing turning a house in a museum and some of the house’s previous occupants, including a French-Canadian Lieutenant awaiting hostage exchange. Despite the various tensions the characters face, there’s something slow and ultimately gentle about this story. Which is lovely --  I enjoyed the picturesque sense of place and astute observations of people -- but it is less dramatic than I was expecting. 3½ ★

*

Happy Trail by Daisy Prescott: Contemporary romance, set on the Appalachian Trail.

A park ranger and a hiker shelter together during a storm. I was fascinated by the insight into hiking the Appalachian Trail and enjoyed some of the characters’ interactions, although I thought the way the romance unfolded was somewhat anticlimactic. Not always what I wanted, but I don't regret reading it.

*

Legacy by Stephanie Fournet: Contemporary enemies-to-roommates-to-lovers.

Wes offers to move in with his late-best friend’s girlfriend to help her out financially. This sort of hurt/comfort appeals to me. I liked how seriously this story takes Corinne’s messy, consuming grief. I don’t really want to spend any more time with the characters, but I was very invested in seeing them reach a better place in their lives.

Two-Step by Stephanie Fournet: Contemporary romance between an actress and a dance instructor. I enjoyed reading this. I particularly enjoyed how Beau helps Iris with her anxiety about dancing and with her controlling mother/manager. He’s very supportive and understanding! But I finished this with a niggling feeling of dissatisfaction -- Iris needed more opportunity to support Beau in turn.

Someone Like Me by Stephanie Fournet: Contemporary romance between a yoga instructor and her new neighbour, who has just got out of prison.

This one didn’t particularly appeal to me. Although interesting to see the experiences of someone recently released from prison, the romance developed too quickly.

(No, I didn’t read all three of these back-to-back!)

*

Hooked by Cathy Yardley: Contemporary fandom-y romance novella, set near Seattle. Takes place during Level Up and is about two of Tessa’s colleagues.

I enjoyed the characters' interactions and would have liked this more if it hadn't felt rushed. 

*

The Ghosts of Sherwood by Carrie Vaughn: Historical Robin Hood retelling, novella.

Exactly what I wanted! It alternates between Robin and Marian’s eldest daughter, Mary, and Marian herself. I liked seeing Robin and Marian as a long-married couple, who still love each other and still have disagreements. And the dynamic between their children gave me a zing of recognition, reminding me of my siblings. 3½ ★

*

The City Between by W.R. Gingell: Australian YA urban fantasy (murder) mysteries. Set in Hobart.

I ended up enjoying this series so much more than I’d expected to!

Between Jobs: After a neighbour is murdered, our seventeen-year-old orphaned narrator acquires some unexpected housemates -- two fae, one vampire. Once I got past the opening, with its tales of murder, the worldbuilding intrigued me. I still wasn’t sure what I thought about her housemates or the fact that they call her “Pet”, but was willing to reserve judgement until I’d read more. 3 ★

Between Shifts: About supermarket shifts and shapeshifters. Pet and JinYeong go undercover at the local grocery store. This is a reasonable murder mystery. I was initially disappointed with how something played out (but in retrospect can see how that was actually a positive development for Pet). It ended on a cliffhanger, so I was extra motivated to start the next book. 2½ ★

Between Floors: This is where the series took off, because things suddenly get personal! One of her fae housemates has been captured and the closest any of them get to finding Athelas is Pet contacting him in her dreams.This raises a lot of interesting questions, not just about Pet’s abilities, but about her relationship with her housemates. How much does she trust them and how much do they value Pet’s personhood? 3½ ★

Between Frames: Pet’s housemates are hired to investigate a series of fae deaths around Hobart, which involves scrutinising some baffling security footage.  Another solid murder mystery.  The final pages felt like one step forward, two steps back, but yet again, in retrospect, this was a positive development. I’m glad I could dive immediately into the next book. 3 ★

Between Homes: Pet has moved in with some friends. Hurray for Pet having friends! I think this was the point where I started to feel comfortable with Pet calling herself Pet -- when it's the name used by people she likes and trusts and who don’t view her as a pet at all. 3½ ★

“Cloudy with a Chance of Dropbears” (novelette): An awesome title and an entertaining opportunity to see Pet from someone else’s perspective -- moreover, someone who doesn’t know her or what she’s capable of. 3 ★

Between Walls: Pet’s friend Morgana is worried about an online friends and asks Pet and co to investigate his disappearance. Along the way, they discover that there are human groups who actually know a lot about Behindkind. I am also becoming increasingly entertained by the Korean vampire. 3 ★

“All the Different Shades of Blue” (novelette): A great cover and it explains who that guy at the cafe is, but otherwise didn’t really do anything Cloudy with a Chance of Dropbears hadn’t already done -- ie., show us Pet from someone else’s perspective. Most of the time, I have enjoyed this series all the more for binging it, but I suspect this particular story would have worked better if I had read it after a period of absence. 2½ ★

Between Cases:  My favourite of these have been the ones where things get personal, and this involves a lot of revelations about who Pet is -- from a fae perspective -- and why her parents were murdered. I enjoyed this one a lot. 3½ ★

*

The Duke of Olympia Meets His Match by Juliana Gray: Historical espionage romance novella, set in 1893 onboard an ocean liner travelling to England. Apparently not the Duke’s first appearance in Gray’s fiction.

I liked the idea here much better than the execution. I liked Penelope, a fifty-year-old widow dependent upon her position as a governess, and I enjoyed her interactions with the older Duke of Olympia. But parts of the spy plot were rushed or confusing, and the resolution was almost-but-not-entirely satisfying. 2½ ★

*

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer: Fantasy. Follows on from the fairytale-retelling A Curse So Dark and Lonely and its sequel, A Heart So Fierce and Broken.

If this is meant as a conclusion to a trilogy, then the ending was a bit too anticlimactic, with a few too many loose ends, to be really satisfying. But I reached the end feeling positive about the story, because I really enjoyed the characters’ interactions. All of the protagonists have to deal with conflict in relationships. I loved the times when they each navigate these conflicts by acting fairly and communicating honestly, when doing so is often difficult and complicated. That’s realistic and satisfying. 3½ ★

*

“Home: Habitat, Range, Niche, Territory” by Martha Wells:  Science-fiction short story. Part of The Murderbot Diaries series, set after Exit Strategy.

Very, very short but I really liked seeing things from Dr Ayda Mensah’s (third person) perspective. 3½ ★

*

Emily of Deep Valley by Maud Hart Lovelace: Historical coming-of-age fiction, set in Minnesota in 1912-3.

I am very glad to finally have read this! It’s delightful, a fascinating insight into community life in a Minnesotan town, and it effectively captures the emotional experience of navigating a period of transition. After high school, Emily’s friends  leave for college, but Emily has to find her own path to purposefully fill her time, build connections and further her education. 4 ★

*

On Wings of Devotion by Roseanna M. White (narrated by Susan Lyons): Romantic historical mystery, set in London during 1918. Christian fiction. Features characters from The Number of Love.

Arabelle Denler is a nurse working in a London hospital; Phillip Camden is an airman now working for British Intelligence. I enjoyed their interactions, especially once they start to get to know each other. I didn’t like the antagonist’s contribution to this narrative -- between the dangers of wartime and the protagonists’ respective issues, there’s enough tension without her. But what I enjoyed about this story outweighed what I didn’t. 3½ ★

*

Our Darkest Night by Jennifer Robson: Historical fiction set during the Nazi occupation of Italy in WWII.

Nina, a young Jewish woman from Venice, goes into hiding by pretending she’s married to Nico, a Catholic farmer. Robson’s strength lies in pairing details of daily life with likeable characters, realistic dialogue and a sweet romance. I read this quickly and eagerly. But if the characters had been more nuanced, more complex, or if their emotions had been conveyed more vividly, I likely would have found reading this a more emotional experience. 3½ ★

[callmeblake]

Kerrang Issue #1103 (Sources 1, 2)

Photo Credit: Jeremy Harris

Magazine Release Date: 2006

Issue Label: April 15th, 2006

Transcription below the cut  (translated by google from Spanish):

You're not in this alone

April 15, 2006

Kerrang April 15th, 2006

Lostprophets & My Chemical Romance 

When it comes to million dollar studios / mansions, Los Angeles, where My Chemical Romance is currently doing pre-production for their new - and as yet untitled - album, is very impressive. Built in 1920 for a silent film star, it is covered in such a way as to simulate an Asian palace, with panoramic views of the city, an outdoor swimming pool, acres of gardens, and - according to vocalist Gerard Way - a ghost that opens and closes doors and even takes baths. Gerard crawled out of bed at noon as his old friend, Ian Watkins is coming soon. He and the Lostprophets frontman will meet to discuss their future performances on 'Give It A Name' - a festival that will see them perform to 30,000 people in two days.

When Ian appears the two greet each other genuinely affectionate, talking about many things; from Gerard's art to Bono's sunglasses and, of course, the ghost guest Gerard admits to fear. The two singers are pleasant company, laughing, joking and obviously relaxed, interrupting and finishing each other's sentences as close friends usually do.

When did you meet?

Gerard: It was at the Slims, in San Francisco and Lostprophets was running a show with Head Automatica. I didn't know them, so I got on his bus and he was the coolest singer I've ever met.

Haven't you met singers before, back then?

Gerard:I had met a few, but singers are usually weird guys. They often have a 'lead singer vibe' and he didn't have one, he was so kind, respectful and personable.

Ian: We knew his manager because he had toured with bands that we had toured with. Even before the first My Chemical Romance album came out, he was already talking all day about them. He sent me the record when it came out and I used to listen to it all the time, it was fucking awesome. Did they get along immediately? Gerard: Yeah. I think everyone in both bands hit it off right away. They were down to earth guys. We hadn't met anyone as great as them, so it was a huge impression on our band that they had that attitude. Ian:

And after that, we keep crashing at events, anywhere, like in Japan….

Gerard: That is a very funny story! You have to fly everywhere when you play (at the Japanese festival) Summer Sonic; you can't drive because Japan is made of a lot of big islands. This was when he still used to get screwed. It was one of the last times that I was drunk or high, actually… Ian was in front of me on the plane and he was turning around to try to have a conversation with me, but he couldn't.

Ian: I hadn't realized it at first. I was talking about the songs on the album I was thinking about…

Gerard:… And at one point I just thought 'I can't deal with this man'. I felt really bad about that I had already thrown up more than I had ever seen in my damn life while trying to get my pills; we were sharing a bus on the way to the plane. I must have looked like the most broke asshole. I was ashamed all the way.

How often do you get together?

Gerard: I would say once every five months, maybe more often. We always collide.

Ian: Yes, when you go on tours you always bump into someone. The strangest thing was when I was in New York, having a snack ...

Gerard:Oh yeah! And we just meet! We were on our way to a place called 'Toy Tokyo', which is one of our favorite stores. We passed a restaurant and Ian was sitting there hanging out.

Ian: They came by and I was like 'Oh shit!' because it was so unexpected.

Gerard: And then we did a full US tour together and it was fun, but Lostprophets was still on the UK schedule, so they would fall asleep on the bus at odd hours and stay up all night.

Ian: That was before the My Chemical Romance record took off, so it was before they became rock stars! But it was cool because we did our own shows on off days.

Gerard:Yes, it was fun doing our shows together, because there was always the same vibe.

Do you keep in touch when you are not on tour?

Gerard: Yes, Sidekick! (controlled email senders)

Ian: You're never in yours! He used to be online all day, but now he's very cool for it.

Gerard: I think I changed my username, but I didn't tell anyone, I just hoped they would notice! So no one talks to me now!

They grew up in places as remote as New Jersey and Wales, what common areas do they share?

Ian: I think we are both working class.

Gerard:When you come from a working class place, you have to leave soon or you will be stuck there forever. Jersey is definitely that kind of place. It's very different if you live somewhere in Los Angeles…

Ian: You don't need to try here, you can go to clubs and gigs every day in LA. It is very easy to believe that you are someone in LA until you realize that there is a whole world outside. It's like the same as London and New York.

Gerard: Yes, but to come from the places that we come from; Where you have shitty jobs, you realize that you are nobody.

Ian: And if you want to do something, make a difference or at least enjoy life, you really have to work your ass off.

Gerard:What's the most shitty job you had in Wales?

Ian: I worked in Iceland. A frozen food store.

Gerard: Oh wow that's weird because my first shitty job was at a frozen food stand at a supermarket. They're both sober now, but Gerard wasn't when they first met: Did his using drugs and alcohol affect their friendship? Gerard: No Ian: I just didn't realize I had a problem! Gerard: Yes, apart from that plane trip. But even though he had a problem, I think the press made him look worse than he already was. When we did that tour together, I was already clean.

The two are working on new albums. Has either listened to each other's new songs?

Gerard: No. We haven't played anything for anyone.

People are predicting that they will both transcend the rock scene and come back with a more pop album this time. Is there any truth to that?

Gerard: I think that's what they expect us to do! On the other hand, some people may believe that our album will be more aggressive to compensate for that.

Ian: A lot of bands do that and screw themselves up. They succeed and say 'we have to prove that we are real' and confuse being real with being shit.

Gerard:That is completely true. So people might expect a more aggressive record from us, or maybe one that makes a lot less sense. But I wouldn't say it's more pop, although it's prettier.

Did you see a lot of bands growing up?

Gerard: Yes, because our only escape was to go and find the local show. There were two places that I would go, ' The Pipeline ' and ' Studio One '. The latter was completely hardcore, bands like Downset, Madball, Dog eat dog…

Ian: Dog Eat Dog! Dammit!

Gerard:The most taboo thing there was as a teenager was Slayer. The [Anti-obscenity lobby] PMRC was so big in the US that they made it almost impossible to get their records. They thought Slayer was satanic. You couldn't get WASP or Venom records, but Slayer was a sure door to evil! I remember when I got 'South of Heaven'; it made a big impression on me. Have you been in front of any other band performance? Gerard: Not in the mosh zone, but I was on the floor for Slim's once. Most of the time, I watch from the side of the stage. Ian:

Everything is ground at Slim's! That was a great show, because we met there. As I said; We got to know each other before these guys took off, and that's nice because I think meeting them after that would have been kind of weird.

So is it weird to meet bands that are already big?

Ian: Yes, because they don't care. As Gerard was saying, singers sometimes have attitudes and it is strange to meet a successful band that is still humble. I don't think My Chemical Romance would have been like that but bands get very reluctant when meeting people. They think 'you only want to be my friend because you want something.' It was great meeting Gerard before they grew up, because I know our friendship is honest.

Do things change when you get to the same level as other bands?

Ian: If we played in the US now, My Chemical Romance would top the list, whereas last time we were on them, but that's okay.

Gerard: Yes, when you go out with a band that you love, there is respect and it shows on stage. But if you play with a band that you don't respect, then you go out and destroy them.

Ian: And it's not like we release two albums at the same time. We left and their time came.

So what if both albums were out at the same time? Would they be aware of the other's sales position?

Gerard: Well we're both rock bands, but we offer something very different to people, so I don't feel in competition with these guys.

Ian:If they were assholes it would be horrible to see them get so successful, because it sucks to see idiots doing well. The only thing they do is add to your stupidity! But when you like band music it's always great to see that they do well.

Gerard: Yes, you will always be supporting your friends even if they are kicking your ass!

Ian: And if they're kicking your butt, it just makes you work harder- It's not a sour rivalry, it's a great thing -a friendship and respect.

My Favorite My Chemical Romance Song (by Ian Watkins)

I love 'You know what they do to guys like us in prison'. The first time I listened to their second album, that song grabbed me as soon as it started playing. It had some really cool changes; the way it starts off with a piano staccato, and the lyrics are fantastic. It conjured up a lot of images and I liked the fact that the verse is on the piano.

My Favorite Lostprophets Song (by Gerard Way)

It's easily 'Last Train Home'! When we were working on Three Cheers for sweet revenge, that damn video came out every five minutes and no one could help but sing it. We were saying 'Man, this is great!' I think the chorus is really beautiful. They weren't trying to capitalize on some kind of junk-young culture, the song really meant something, especially when they were playing it live. If someone is really honest with a song, it will always become a favorite song, and that one really stood out.

Translation: Liz

[yunho-es]

Member/s: Wooyoung (ATEEZ)

Genre: soft

Warnings: swear words

Words: 2043

Before reading, I want you to know that I don't use any names or Y/n's because I know many people don't really insert their names, they read it as Yin 😂 I also write in first person pov because I think it's easier to read and imagine yourself in that situation

Beads of sweat slowly rolled down my forehead as I pulled out a piece of paper from my sleeve. I knew that the exam would be hard, but I wasn't expecting it to be this detailed. Thank God my friend made me write it all on a small piece of paper. At least I will get a positive grade. Of course he made me do it, he passed the school with those. Thankfully, he didn't go to medicine school. If I ever ended up on his surgery table, I would die.

Three more minutes until the end and one more question unanswered. The teacher noticed me shifting in my seat, but she knew I always get good grades. She finally stopped looking at me and gave her attention to a group of boys trying to switch their papers. I glanced one more time at the piece of paper and put it back in my sleeve. Just as I finished the answer, the bell rang. Half of the class groaned, probably because they didn't manage to finish in time. I took my backpack and left the paper with my name on the main table.

"Good job! Honestly, your exams are always my favorite to grade. I'm really happy to have a student like you."

"Thank you, Mrs Johnson. See you on Monday."

Once I got outside I noticed the sky already getting dark. It was just 5 pm and winter was already doing it's job; the roads were wet and slippery from mixed rain and snow and it must've been under 0 Celsius. Usually I walk home because it's not far away, but my school uniform, rain and cold weather didn't go well together. I was just about to call my roommate when I felt car lights on me, followed by a familiar voice.

"I think quicker than you do." Wooyoung smiled as he opened the door. "Get in please I don't want to spend the next week taking care of an annoyingly picky roommate. I have plans to get drunk and do something stupid."

"You do stupid things anyway without drinking. So save the money and the time. And oh, save me from embarrassment." I get in the car sticking my tongue out at him. "Did you cook anything? I'm starving."

"No, of course. I slept the whole day." I look at him, hoping to see a smile on his face that would give me a sign that he's joking. "Don't look at me like that, I was tired from the night shift. I'll take you to McDonald's." he drove out of the school parking.

"I don't want trash, Wooyoung. I want food." I groaned. He told me that he would try cooking something, but it's been a week and he didn't do anything. "Please buy some pasta and tomato sauce I'll make something."

"Honestly, I really don't feel like waiting. And McDonald's is f**king awesome!" his hand reached out to turn on the radio. "How can you not love the little purple box full of 12 golden beauties?"

It did sound good, but we haven't eaten any "real" food for a month and my stomach started to ache. Living with Wooyoung has its bad and good sides, the bad sides mainly being his laziness and stubbornness. Speaking of stubbornness, of course he took the left turn towards McDonald's.

"What do you want?"

"What a polite way to ask me. You've loosened up I see." I frown at him. He rolls his eyes dramatically and turns towards me with his whole body.

"Your Highness, what do you wish to consume today?"

"That's just too much."

"What the h*ll do you want? I'm taking 3 burgers and fries and you aren't touching them." the brown haired boy points his finger towards my face. I squint my eyes at him, then bite his finger. "Crazy woman."

"Hello, may I take your order?"

"Hello, yes. I'd like a..."

***

"Is this place good enough for the Queen?" Wooyoung spoke with his mouth full of fries and ketchup. We sat on the roof of his car on a parking lot near a river. The place is good enough for the Queen.

"Eat before you speak, what's wrong with you?" I laugh at him, seeing that he spilled the ketchup on his t-shirt. "No girl will want you like this."

"To be honest I'm not interested right now." he replied immediately.

I'd lie if I said that my heart didn't sink a bit. Whoever said that boys and girls can't be friends was right. One side always catches feelings, big or small. In my case, I believe it's a small crush. He's the only boy I hang out with, so that must be why.

"Why?" I allow myself to ask.

"I had a little crush on a girl but I had to give it up." he kept stuffing his mouth with food, trying to avoid the conversation.

"And...?" I look at him expecting more. But he keeps his mouth shut and folds the paper of the burgers in his hands.

"Are you thirsty?" Wooyoung offers a can of soda, still looking at his fingers.

"Yes, thank you." he opens the can for me, first taking a sip himself, then giving the green beverage to me. I drink the whole can almost immediately.

"You could've said earlier that you were thirsty, I had water in the car." his tone visibly changed. He sounded more serious now, as if he just wanted to go home and lock himself in the room. "Want another one?" he reaches for another can.

"I think I have one more sip here." I throw my head back trying to drink every single drop of the refreshing juice. I slowly started to lean back, forgetting that I'm not in the chair but on the roof of the car. "Sh*t!" I curse as I almost fall on the rocky floor.

"Hey!" Wooyoung quickly reacts and grabs my hands, pulling me towards him. All the empty cans rolled down on the floor, making loud noises. "You good?" he asks, eyes on my face.

His hands felt so warm around mine. I really didn't want to let go. "I'm good." I pull away, trying to get down to collect the cans.

"Leave the d*mn cans there. You almost fell down. Do you see those rocks down there? What if you hit your head? What would I do?"

"I'd pay to get your car cleaned from my blood, Wooyoung." I laugh, but when I notice that his face didn't change, my smile drops. "What's wrong? Why isn't it funny when I say something like this?"

"Behind all these jokes you have to understand that you are very important to me and I have a soft spot for you. If anything happened to you my life would stop. I'm a serious man behind all my sarcastic jokes. Please watch yourself, because I can't do it all the time. It takes a second to turn a peaceful situation into a disaster."

I stare at him with my mouth a little open. I'm surprised at his words, I never heard him talk like this. I manage to say a sorry, turning my head away from him.

After a few seconds of silence, which seemed like hours, he got down and picked up all the cans, then offered me his hand. "Be careful." I put my hand in his, slowly getting down on the floor. "What dumbass even puts these rocks on the parking lot?" he picks up a few of them and pushes them away, leaving the bigger and heavier ones where they were.

"I think because they don't want someone else to have the spot." I watch as he tries to move a few more rocks. "Leave it, you're gonna hurt yourself. Let's just go back home, please?"

"Alright." he leaves the rocks and opens the door for me. Then he proceeds to enter the car himself. "But just for the record, I could've moved those rocks." his lips curved in a small smile. He can't help himself.

***

It suddenly became quiet in the house. Wooyoung layed on the sofa, watching the TV, and I sat on the floor behind the coffee table with my back leaning on the sofa.

"I'm a bit disappointed that we didn't take any photos." I pouted, scrolling down my Instagram feed. He didn't respond. I kept quiet for a few more minutes, then broke the silence again. "Do you think you could pick me up tomorrow from school again?" again, no answer.

I turn around towards him and see that his eyes are closed. He fell asleep while watching the TV. I took a blanket from my room and layed next to him under it. It's not my first time napping with him, but most of the time he refuses. He says that he is a kicker in his sleep and that he doesn't want to hurt me.

The sofa in our living room is quite small so I have to basically lay on Wooyoung. Just as I close my eyes, I feel his hand around my waist, bringing me even closer to him. Now my head was on his chest and I was surrounded by his scent and warmth. This must be what heaven feels like. Usually when we sleep like this together, it takes us a few hours to fall asleep. Mainly because he can't stop making jokes and I can't stop laughing. But this is different. It's calm. It's beautiful.

I couldn't tell if he was asleep or just pretending. He held me close and rubbed my back slowly. "Wooyoung?" I tried calling.

"Hm?" he responds sleepily.

"Are you okay?" I look up at him. His eye are still closed, but his fingers are still drawing tiny patterns on my waist and back.

"Mhm." again, I receive a short answer. When I try to move and give him some space so he can sleep peacefully, he opens his eyes to look at me. "Please don't move. I want to sleep like this." one of his hands moved my hair from both of our faces. "Please?" he asked, almost whispering.

I have never witnessed this side of Wooyoung. His voice was different, his movements were different, his eyes were different. This is the Wooyoung I wanted for myself, but couldn't have him. It took me a few longer seconds to realise that we are staring at each other, doing nothing but breathing quietly. Once his hot breath fell on my lips I couldn't help but close my eyes and sigh. Right now, I hoped for one thing to happen.

"Why can't I have you like this every day?" his soft voice whispered. I try to speak, but as soon as I move my lips, I feel something soft brushing against them. My breath stops and I force myself to open my eyes. He's looking down at my lips as if thinking if the next step is smart to do. I allow myself a moment of bravery and I put my hands on his chest, getting closer to him. "F**k it." he mutters, finally putting his hands on my cheeks and pressing his lips against mine.

His lips must've been the softest thing to exist on this planet. I tried to move, but my body was frozen. I couldn't do anything, just lay and enjoy the softness and the warmth of his lips. He pulled away for a second, trying to say something, but when he didn't succeed, he went back to the older position. Then, again, he pulls away.

"You are so sweet. You taste like I always imagined." the red cheeked boy whispers, brushing the tip of his nose against mine.

"More, please." I manage to say. My lips and throat are dry, my mind is going crazy, and my stomach is witnessing fireworks. Wooyoung smiles, still not letting go of my cheeks. "Please." I get impatient.

He leans in again, this time kissing me with more passion. It stopped being sweet and soft, now only one word existed in my mind: more. And he happily listened.