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#Fairytale within the Book
mariasont · 4 months
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Ideas From a Book - A.H
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a/n: im writing what i want !!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a gun kink SUE ME !!! if you don't like it don't read it !!!!!!!
anyhow HAPPY READING
masterlist
₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: in which hotch comes home to find you reading and finds out you have a gun kink
warnings: 18+ MDNI, a lot going on here yall idk, gun going in ur vag, reader loves smut she's just like me fr, gun kink!, dirty talk, established relationship, yada yada
wc: 2.3k
When Hotch returned home from work, the ritual he had was comforting in its predictability: shedding his coat and shoes, setting down his briefcase, and locking up his gun. Then, he'd find you, as he always did, nestled into the couch, book in hand. 
It was something he could count on, as reliable as the sun rising in the morning. Your bookshelf was a spectrum of genres--science fiction, poetry, mystery, historical, fantasy--name it, you've likely read it. Among these, he had noticed a trend--your favoritism for romance. It was fitting, as you've always been an ardent believer in fairytales and happy endings. It was a belief he intended to uphold, a fairytale ending he was set on creating for you. 
The book you held today had a cover he didn't recognize. He cleared his throat, announcing his arrival. Your eyes met his in an instant, and he was struck anew by just how pretty you are. Effortlessly so. He told you as much, though you seldom accepted the compliment. 
"Hi, handsome," you said, infusing your words with honey as you folded the corner of your page and laid the book aside. Spencer would scold you for that. "How was work?"
A shrug rolled off his shoulders, fingers working to loosen the tie that felt like a noose after a long day. Stepping further into the living room, he sighed, "Heavy with paperwork."
"That's no fun," you said, lips curving into a delicate pout. 
It was an invitation he couldn't ignore. Leaning in, his hands found your face, and as your lips met, you giggled, pulling back just enough to study his face, the harsh lines under his eyes, reading the fatigue on his features like a well-thumbed novel. 
"What are you reading?" he questioned, easing down next to you, the couch dipping to his weight. 
You dodged his eyes, fingers absently fidgeting with your earlobe as you gave him a half-smile, tilting the book just enough so he couldn't catch the title.  
"Just some romance book," you admitted, with a slight uptick in your voice. "Garcia recommended it."
He regarded you with a contemplative frown. Normally, a book you would have gone on for hours, detailing every character, plot twist, and subplot, dissecting its layers and intricacies in exhaustive detail. 
Aaron watched as you placed the book on the side table, movements deliberate. You positioned yourself across his lip, a seemingly innocent distraction. It almost worked. Your soft thighs sinking into his calloused hands, as if they were crafted just for him. He recognized your ploy, though, giving your leg a squeeze a little tighter than necessary. 
You leaned in, your breath tinged with the minty traces of your afternoon tea, a detail as intimate as any secret shared between lovers. He nipped at your lip, a gentle diversion, as his hand crept towards the book.
You wriggled in his hold, vying to get there first, but he was faster. Much faster at that, although you loved to challenge him on that. He secretly loved when you did. He loved you. 
"What are you doing?" Your voice was rising in a panicked pitch. You stretched your hand out, trying to reclaim it, but he kept it just beyond reach.
Aaron's arm formed a band around you, effectively pinning your arms to your torso while you writhed within his grasp. A groan was stifled in his throat. "Quit that."
You smiled, a hint of tease in the curve of your lips and stilled. You were acutely aware of the effect you had on him, and it was a feat achieved with little effort. 
"Why are you being so secretive about this?"
He nodded to the book. The cover was unassuming, black with a smattering of designs that sprawled across it. It looked like any other book you read.
"I'm not being secretive," you insisted, deliberately avoiding his probing gaze. "You're just being nosy."
"Oh, am I?" He couldn't help but laugh, nose crinkling as he dismissed the notion with a shake of his head.
You nodded, not saying anything in response. He thumbed through the book, opening it to a random page.
"Wait--," you pleaded, but his attention was already glued to the ink. You wrapped yourself around him, your face buried in the folds of his crisp dress shirt as you murmured into the fabric, "please don't."
His arm shifted from your waist to cradle the back of your neck. "Gasping at the cool metal of the gun running across my belly, I want him press it into my panties."
Your breath caught, warmth flooding your cheeks as you pressed your face deeper into his chest. "Aaron, stop."
But he didn't, of course, he was far too intrigued.
"Parting my legs, I roll into the metal. He runs it back and forth across my pussy, wetting it against the barrel to my entrance," He continued, wetting the pad of his thumb as he turned the page, eyes meeting yours. 
He cocked an eyebrow as if waiting for your response. You didn't give him one, huffing a sigh as you plucked the book from his hands and flung it onto the cushions of the couch.
"Are you...into this?" He articulated each word with deliberate slowness, as if navigating a minefield. "This is a little intense."
You groan, tucking your chin down to your chest as you fought against the tingling sensation clawing up your spine.
"I don't know." The words tumbled out in a murmur, a feeble shield against the embarrassment flooding your senses.
It was the truth. You didn't know. Ink on a page was a far cry from reality. Nonetheless, your recent daydreams were filled with images of Aaron with his gun. God, forbid you see him on duty.
He shifted you off his lap, and you felt the corners of your mouth turn downward involuntarily. You watched his retreating figure vanish down the hall, your thoughts racing at breakneck speed, gripped by the fear that you had scared him off, that this was his tipping point.
The welling tears were poised to fall, but they paused as he came back into view. Holding his gun.
Your breath halted, a knot forming in your throat as you clumsily rose to your knees on the couch, your eyes wide and transfixed on him.
You watched, more like ogled, as he methodically removed the magazine, opening the action and ejecting the cartridges of the gun, putting the safety into place. Your throat felt dry. His advance towards you was predatory, a slow march that rekindled a well-known flutter in your stomach.
"Aaron?"
He stepped in front of you, the firearm dangling loosely at his side. You gazed up at him, peering through the shelter of your lashes.
"Do you want me to fuck you with this?"
You knew you said you didn't know if this was something you were into, yet here you were, retracting every syllable. Suddenly so incredibly turned on it almost hurt.
You nodded vigorously, your enthusiasm outpacing your self-awareness.
The look he gave you was one you recognized instantly, eliciting yet another soft pout before you gave in. "Yes, please, Aaron."
"Good girl," he said, making your heart skip a beat as he pressed the nose of the gun into your chest, forcing you backward. "Always so good for me."
You nodded again, even though there was no need to, but you weren't really focused on his words. You were focused on the gun pressing into your body, imagining it pressed against your clit, up your pussy.
"You're sure, um," you managed, trying to catch your breath, pausing in the middle of your sentence to clear your throat, "that all the safety stuff is on?"
You sounded dumb, you were aware, but all intellectual thoughts were out the window.
He let out a deep chuckle, the sound sending another wave of desire straight to your core. "Yes, baby, all of the safety stuff is on."
"Okay, good."
He pressed his lips to yours, the gun still flush against your chest, now grazing your nipple as you arched into him.
He pulled back only enough to speak into your mouth. "What's your safe word?"
"Mercy."
He hummed in response, fingers threading through your hair as he pushed the barrel of the gun down your stomach. You froze, a subtle gap forming between your lips as your eyes remained locked on the motion.
He brought his mouth to your ear, nipping at the skin lightly as he pushed the metal further down your body, lifting the hem of your shirt with it. You gasped at the feeling, pulling your bottom lip through your teeth as you tried to hide just how affected you were.
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes." It was immediate. Without hesitation.
He kissed your lips, gentle and unhurried, as if he was savoring the sensation, like he thought I might crumble under too much pressure. He might be right.
"Take these off."
His gun pressed against the waistband of your shorts. You didn't waste a second, lifting your hips and shimmying out of the fabric. A sound of approval vibrated from his throat, his fingers entwining in your hair, gently drawing your face closer to his.
"Are you sure about this?"
A nod came naturally, followed by a yes breathed out like a prayer, as your eyes trailed down to in between your thighs where the gun was now sitting. 
"Aaron, I need it."
"Oh, you need it, huh?" He tsked his tongue, running the nose of the gun over your clothed heat. "I can tell."
You let out a sharp gasp, bucking your hips into the device as you met his eyes, willing him to keep going. You had never been more turned on in your life. His hand moved from your neck to the small of your waist, pinning you in place. With one hand. Fuck.
He laid the gun beside your hip on the couch in order to pull your panties off. You squirmed at the rush of cold air encompassing between your thighs. His eyes were glued to your pussy, tongue darting out to swipe across his lips.
"Christ sweetheart," he hissed, sliding one finger through your slit, showing you the moisture you had produced. "Needy girl."
"Aaron, please." You needed something inside of you.
He laughed, at your expense, but you didn't care, concentrated on his hand grabbing the Glock and repeating the action his finger just did.
You choked out a sound, stuttering against the touch. He in a merciful mood apparently, pushing the gun slowly into your sopping cunt. You were writhing against it, your mouth parted as you tried to get used to the foreign object.
"You okay?" He asked, pausing his motions, giving you a second to adjust.
You swallowed; gaze drawn down to where he was sliding the gun into you. You bit down on your lip hard enough to draw blood.
"Yes."
"You can take it," he said, but the way the firearm was stretching you made you unsure.
It wasn't the size necessarily, but the way the groves and magazine were cramming into you was making hold your breath, which him being him he noticed immediately.
His hand rested gently against the pouch of your stomach. "Breathe."
The pent-up breath escaped your lips, and he rewarded you by sinking the gun further into your pussy. You fingers wrapped around his biceps, the tips digging slightly into the constellation of freckled skin.
One final thrust and it was fully in you. You could feel every groove and contour of it, cunt clenching and unclenching at the sensation. 
"Look at you," he drawled, beginning to fuck you with it. It transcended the prose of any book, a sensation that no array of printed words could fully capture. "You like that?"
Nodding was your only recourse, mouth hanging pathetically open as you moaned and whined. You were in a daze-like state, every sound and motion involuntary.
"This is the Glock 17," he explained, thrusting the gun faster, causing you to tighten your hands around his neck, bringing him so close his words were melting into your skin. "It feeds from a staggered-column magazine that has a 17-round capacity. It sends 115 gr bullets downrange at about 1200 feet per second."
You could feel your arousal leaking to your thighs, coating his forearm in the process, but that would never stop him.
"This gun has taken the lives of nineteen unsubs."
You know this should make you coil away, that it should feel wrong somehow, but all you felt was that growing tightness in your core, your legs shaking, your chest rising and falling at a more rapid pace.
"You don't even care, do you? All you care about is getting yourself off." His chuckles wove through his words, and his motions didn't falter, intent of ushering you to your peak. "My dirty girl."
You were so close, the edges of the gun managing to hit every spot just right.
"Come on, honey."
Fuck. You let out another strangled gasp, way louder than intended as your back arched like a string of a bow, and then suddenly you released.
A prism of colors exploded behind your squeezed eyes. A collage of musical notes falling over your ears. Your whole body was being ignited as you gushed around the gun.
"Christ." His new favorite word as of late. He withdrew the weapon from you.
You let out a subdued hum, propping yourself on your elbows, your eyes lazily rising to meet his with a tender flutter.
"You're so pretty," he murmured, the compliment settling on you like dew on morning flowers. Your gaze caught the gun, now bathed in a liquid gloss, cradled in his hands.
"Oh my god," you said, hand covering your mouth.
He laughed softly, placing it on the coffee table before his lips brushed against yours, a soft and measured caress that belied his previous urgency.
"You might need a new one," you said sheepishly, heat creeping into your ears as he pressed another soft kiss to your cheek.
"Absolutely not," he murmured into your flushed skin. "It just became my gun of choice."
You were going to give him the best head of his life.
taglist: @hotchhner @khxna
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inkdrinkerworld · 4 months
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Early seasons Spencer Reid was BORN to be a loverboy 💞💞 fawning over your every move and blushing the second you look at for too long 💞💞💞 (I need him REALLY bad omg…)
Ah I just realized I did it the other way round! Spencer blushes every time he looks at you
“You’re gonna catch flies in there,” Derek tells Spencer, barely looking up over his desktop as he types at his desk.
Emily pipes in next, “Or drool on your pretty green sweater vest and then where is she meant to rest her head on the jet?”
Spencer’s mouth snaps shut immediately. His teammates have an awful, familial, habit of trying to embarrass him for his blatant affection and preference for you.
Spencer noticed they don’t give you nearly as much stick as they do him.
You’re something special to Spencer, something right out of the fairytale books his mom read to him when he was a child before he started reading them to her.
Sure you’re not the perkiest and smiliest person in the world, but Spencer likes you just the way you are.
“I’m not drooling,” still he wipes his mouth and peers down to his vest. There’s no drool, thank god.
“Here you go, Spence.” You set down a mug of steaming coffee on his desk, rolling your eyes when Derek wiggles his eyebrows at you.
You hand coasts through Spencer’s hair and he feels the heat in his body rise. It’s like your touch sets a livewire off and every nerve ending is fizzling under your touch.
He’d been meaning to cut it, but your hands gravitate to his hair every time he’s within reaching distance and he can’t bring himself to make the appointment.
“You two are sick,” Emily gags when Spencer leans into your hand, you roll your eyes again.
“You two are bored and should be working on not letting Garcia hack into your highschool’s yearbook data.”
Derek launches an almond at your head, it just barely misses you. You laugh when Emily slumps into her chair, clearly remembering the yearbook debacle a year ago. You give Spencer a quiet smile before making your way to your desk.
He watches you go and feels guilty for the way his gaze drags over you. Cheeks flaming.
Spencer doesn’t quite settle back into his newspaper the way his friends settle into whatever’s on their desk.
It’s hard when he can smell your toasted marshmallow perfume lingering on the shoulders of his sweater vest.
He can also feel the heat of your palm on his shoulder still and it makes his cheeks flush; he looks down immediately.
Spencer wills his cheeks and neck to cool. He doesn’t know if he can handle Emily or Derek catching him again.
He cautions a glance in your direction ten minutes later, finding you tapping your pen along your lips as you read over your crossword puzzles.
Spencer’s itchy again, skin flushed and hot as he watches your lips move with every tap. You smile when you find the word and Spencer’s stomach erupts with butterflies.
In quiet moments like this, where you can’t tell that Spencer is looking at you, Spencer thinks you’re the most gorgeous.
This unsurprising beauty that stops his breath short- your hair is falling out of your braids, framing your face and even in your stiffly starched blue pinstripe shirt and jeans you look soft.
Spencer feels heat shoot up his neck as he realises his daydream is obvious, he takes a sip of his coffee and his heat only gets worse.
Derek looks up when he hisses and chuckles, shaking his head when Spencer doesn’t even try to take his eyes off you.
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Coming back to Tumblr after a really busy and difficult month to find everyone talking about Del Toro's Pinocchio really is something.
I have never in seven years participated in the Discourse but ooh the disrespect for the original novel is testing me.
Anyhow I'm back!! I have lots of writing updates to share (including a new WIP) and I can't wait to catch up on everything!
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pprodsuga · 4 months
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never to keep | heeseung
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summary: heeseung was always a natural scene stealer, capturing the hearts and attention of those around him. it seemed predestined that he'd pursue a life that would take him beyond the cosmos and leave behind the constellations he once treasured. it's too bad that you were one of them.
warnings: angst and typos, probably.
word count: 8.6K (shorter than previous works, forgive me)
notes: ahahah. this is a therapy piece ... currently dealing with similar themes of a friend prioritizing work and people who don't care for her over people who do, and i feel veryyy conflicted as of late. i, like yn, am not a plaything. why not turn it into a fic. anyway, enjoy and happy reading! x
masterlist + taglist
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
If you love someone, they will always come back to you. 
There’s no logic in love, only strong emotions that make people disregard all they know to chase the feeling of reckless abandon. Love is a wildcard that can catch even the most self-protective person off guard. You’ve read it in stories from childhood fairytales to watching strangers fall in love in your favorite books and television shows growing up. You believe the people who kiss on the screen must surely find an ounce of love, even if only for a brief moment. 
It’s no surprise that you’ve come to love Heeseung the way you do. To love him is to know him, even if he’s too tired to see you on the weekends or too occupied to sit next to you at the lunch period because of his days training to become an idol. What you know at this point in your life is that love is unconditional; supporting your best friend to pursue a dream he’s talked about since he could speak feels right. 
To love somebody doesn’t necessarily mean to devote oneself to the fullest extent, but somehow you feel as though this way of thinking never quite aligned with how you’ve come to love. Heeseung’s parents are a surrogate for your own, especially when it’s just you and your mother in the small, two bedroom apartment that sits on the edge of town and away from the city. They tuck you in at night during holidays and other special occasions when you’ve become too tired to drive back to your home. 
Minjun, Heeseung’s younger sister by four years, warmed up to you quicker than anyone had expected. The fierce girl had a protective streak over her brother once he grew into his height and learned that winking at pretty girls could get them to do whatever he asked of them within reason. Minjun doesn’t recall when she met you for the first time because she was likely too young to remember, but her sweet nature towards you speaks louder than you could’ve ever anticipated. 
Growing up with a single parent as an only child provides enough time to befriend loneliness. There are days spent idly in the apartment waiting for someone to keep you company, often wishing that the house was filled with people to keep the void full and lively. But now, because of the Lee family and how close you’ve become to their two children, it seems as if the idea of a central family is closer than you think. 
Heeseung didn’t expect for you to become a prominent fixture in his life when the two of you were partnered for a science project at the ripe age of thirteen. He’d experienced a growth spurt and acne for the first time simultaneously, growing insecure in himself with every day that passed by. Heeseung hadn’t anticipated you sitting with his family at the dinner table five years later, listening to a mundane story about his mother’s workday at a boring corporate-level position Heeseung doesn’t bother to remember. 
He never thought you’d be cooking with his father in the kitchen upon returning home from his training practices, talking about the art of seasoning as the meal preparations come to a finish. He doesn’t remember when you started coming over without the pretense of coming to see him either. Heeseung surely does not anticipate Minjun waiting for your arrival by the front windows just to insist on being the first person who welcomes you into their home. 
Naturally, Minjun becomes a recognizable face in your life because of how often she spends time with you and Heeseung. The young girl sets up her homework as the two of you begin yours, her schoolbooks significantly lighter than yours but you make conversation anyhow. 
“I think she likes you because you don’t treat her like she’s thirteen,” Heeseung says as he dries the dishes from dinner as you scrub them clean. “She hates it when people baby her.” 
“Sometimes I think I need to watch how I talk to Minjun.”
“No, you don’t. Minjun likes that you talk to her like a friend.”
“That’s what she is, no? A friend?”
“More than me?”
You flick water towards Heeseung. “Yes, if you keep teasing me.” 
“Seriously, though. Thanks for being nice to her. She complains that she’s the youngest out of everybody all the time.”
“I used to be like that.” You close the tap water and hand the last dish to Heeseung. “I hated being at the kids table when everybody else got to be an adult. Minjun’s at the age where she’s aware of it.” 
“God, we sound like her parents, or something.”
You bite back a smile. 
Caring for Heeseung is arguably the easiest thing you’ve ever done. He makes it simple when you receive a text from him hours before you wake up and just before you go to bed despite his busy schedule. You wonder at all how he manages to fit you into his life with all of his dreams and responsibilities, but Heeseung always tells you it’s because there’s room for you. 
Being so close to his family helps internalize the fact that you are a permanent fixture in his life. Mrs. Lee drops off baked goods on Saturday mornings most times because she knows your mother likes to eat a sweet treat with her bitter coffee. Mr. Lee goes out of his way to fix faulty ceiling fans or kitchen drains when he has the time to spare your income. Minjun gives you drawings from her art classes that sit on your refrigerator. Integrating their life within yours feels natural. 
Heeseung has always been somebody you’ve looked up to, poised for success after deciding he loved singing enough to make a career out of it. The eight-year-old boy who loved to choreograph dance numbers to famous songs carries this humble beginning when he talks about what life might look like for him when he’s crossed the threshold that separates his life from now. 
It seemed as though Heeseung’s dream of becoming an idol never seemed too far out of reach, even if he had his moments where he felt like giving up. Things always worked out for him in ways nobody could explain, like moving to a new city because of his mother’s job and making friends within an hour of transferring to a new middle school. Or the time when he’d auditioned to train under a management company and hadn’t heard back from them for weeks–Heeseung prepared to stop giving himself false hope for his future as an idol until the fateful email sat at the top of his inbox, welcoming him to the company. 
Life was always easier on Heeseung than it was for everybody else. 
You don’t see him much between classes because he’s on a special path created for people who are like him. People who are destined to debut as an idol are given certain exemptions to ensure quality education while having enough time to train in all areas of performance art. It took a while for Heeseung to get used to his new life and the new routine set in place for him but you were always there to remind him that this is what he wants more than anything in the world. All of the stress and frustration that comes with change, no matter how brutal or unnerving, will be worth it when he sees his dream to the end. 
You’re a young adult at this point in your life but it feels like you’ve aged beyond your peers because of circumstance. Spending time at the Lee residence when your mom’s at work or visiting her friends prevents you from feeling as lonely as you do in between four white walls that barely feel like home without someone else in it. Growing up quicker than your peers feels like something expected of you. Oftentimes, you wish you could maintain childlike innocence as Heeseung does, dreaming so big and far that everything seems like a possibility if you dreamed hard enough. 
Watching him dance and hearing him sing feels like a reminder that there’s more to life than what you know. Your best friend is your confidant and the person you see yourself in the most. The boys and girls who befriend him because of his good looks and potential stardom don’t matter much to either of you when the promise of lifelong friendship looms in the future. You can’t imagine Heeseung not being in it. 
Mr. and Mrs. Lee sit at the dining table over a cup of post-dinner coffee while Minjun scrolls through her phone by the couch with a Netflix show you’ve never heard of on the television. Their soft murmurs have become a familiar background noise. You sit next to Minjun and peer over her shoulder. 
“I like these shoes a lot,” she tells you as she turns the phone for you to see. “All the girls in my grade are wearing these.” 
“Do you like them because you like them or because everyone else does?” 
She frowns. “What’s wrong with liking what other people like?” 
“Nothing, but if you’re going to buy flats just for them to sit in the back of your closet, that doesn’t seem like a good reason to have them.” 
Minjun has approached the age you’re all too familiar with. When you turned thirteen, the impending doom of fitting in hit you like a truck when you realized all of the girls in your grade had expensive clothes while you wore hand-me-downs from your cousins. Your backpack, which you had been using for three years because the straps weren’t broken, felt like a burden to carry when everybody else had pretty satchels. You felt juvenile in your too-worn sneakers and the two pairs of jeans you had sitting in your closet. But you were thirteen and your mother made enough money to make ends meet and put dinner on the table. Clothing and new school materials didn’t matter compared to eating before bed. 
Part of this insecurity has always followed you throughout childhood, especially when you were old enough to be aware of the fact that you were one of the few people in your grade who didn’t have a nuclear family. The kinds of families you’d see on the television didn’t exist in real life because while these programs taught its audiences the value of a good, stable home life, you’d been watching them alone while you waited for your mother to come home from work. There would be no dinner at the table with both of your parents because you knew there would be just her.
Watching Minjun grow up with two parents who dote on her feels bittersweet. It feels like watching a version of what could have been if only your father had chosen to stay in the picture instead of abandoning his family for a promising career in entertainment. Minjun’s petulance often reminds you that you were not privileged enough to have this kind of grace because of how rapidly your circumstances forced you to grow up faster than your peers did. 
There’s a small part of you that envies her life when you think about what yours could have been if he had stayed. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to watch your mother slave away at odd jobs to keep the lights on before finding a good, stable job after years of searching. Maybe you wouldn’t have felt so lonely in your adolescence because he’d take you to ice cream after school. Maybe the hollowness that remains inside of you would have been filled with joy and laughter on the holidays. 
“You’re right,” Minjun sighs, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Seri told me my outfit would’ve looked prettier if I wore these.” 
“People should keep their opinions to themselves.” 
Minjun nods. “Agreed.” 
Heeseung emerges from the kitchen a moment later and sits next to you on the couch. The dip in the cushion and his thigh being pressed against yours isn’t a new phenomenon, but the heat that creeps up your neck can’t be helped when he looks like a model from the corner of your eye. You swallow until your mouth feels dry to keep both Lee siblings from asking why you look like you’re about to explode. 
It’s easy to fall in love with Heeseung. All of the girls fawn over him already, a promising sign that Heeseung will likely be just fine when he debuts as an idol. He’s always been good with people and speaks in a way that makes people root for his success even if it was unintentional to begin with. He’s charming in a way that seems humble. Heeseung has a skill for making you feel like you are the only person in the room when he talks to you. You’re sure it’s why people feel drawn to him and why everybody loves being around Heeseung so much. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel the same way. 
Sometimes, you grow envious of how easy it is for Heeseung to get people to like him. Career prospects aside, it’s almost as if he can convince anyone he’s somebody worth being friends with. Cashiers love him because he doesn’t make small talk awkward. He’s not afraid to talk to strangers and strike up a conversation with somebody while waiting for his coffee order. Heeseung is bashful enough to come across as sincere and it seems to reel people in. 
He inspires you in ways that you can’t fathom but simultaneously reminds you that you’ve got no future or prospect. It’s unfair to compare yourself to your best friend, but being in such close proximity where people praise him next to you are constant reminders that your life hasn’t begun and you don’t know if it ever will. Your life feels stagnant compared to his exciting one. While Heeseung spends his days and nights perfecting his dance techniques and vocal skills, you sit in your room and wonder what life would be like if you could touch the moon. 
There are days where you wish you could be as suave and charming as he can be. You feel awkward around people you don’t know and limit yourself to new experiences when it feels too intimidating. You’re not somebody who’s confident enough to start a conversation, let alone with somebody you aren’t familiar with. Where Heeseung excels in the socializing department, you find yourself playing catch-up every time you see him befriend yet another person you aren’t familiar with. It’s a wonder how you two became as close as you are.
Meeting him had been by chance. You knew him from friends of friends and saw him in the hallways between class periods but never had a reason to talk to him until the two of you were partnered for a class project. The newfound partnership felt oddly comfortable from the minute Heeseung introduced himself to you with that same charming smile everyone knows him to have. His wit and humor brewed the perfect potion for you to feel like caring for him as deeply as you do would become inevitable. It wasn’t a bet on if you would fall for him as hard as you did, but when. 
You’re inclined to believe you keep it hidden well. Heeseung is far too oblivious most times to see you as anything other than his best friend. You’ve treated him like a friend far longer than you’ve liked him romantically, so acting as if you don’t have feelings for him is easy when you remind yourself that having him in your life would be better than the alternative. Still, you have moments where you yearn to hold his hand and kiss him before he leaves for practice. 
“Do you want to come to the next showcase this weekend?” Heeseung asks, nudging your side with his elbow. You pry your attention away from Minjun’s phone to look at him. “It’s gonna be a small one in the company theater. There’s going to be a bunch of important people in the industry. Allegedly.” 
“Of course I’ll come, Heeseung. This is you we’re talking about. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 
The smile he gives you is blinding. 
“I really appreciate you supporting me, you know that? I don’t say it often, but I should. Thank you for always supporting me.” 
Your heart bursts. 
“I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t do at least that,” you tell him. 
“My parents and Minjun are gonna be there too so you won’t be alone.” He smiles at you like he knew you were worried about who to sit with, let alone if there’s going to be important people that could determine Heeseung’s career. 
“Thanks,” you mumble, an overwhelming feeling of shyness overtaking you. “It’s silly that you have to look out for me all the time.” 
“No, not silly,” he says immediately, pushing his head to your shoulder. You don’t imagine this position is very comfortable for him, but Heeseung seems keen on staying in this position. “We’re kids, Y/N. You don’t need to have your life together. I’ll always look out for you and walk you through it if that’s what you need.” 
You sigh. “You know, one day, you’re going to become so famous that you’ll inevitably be too busy for me.”
Heeseung shakes his head. “No I won’t. Who checks up on me every day after practice? Who do I come to when I need to cry? Who do I invite to my home when I’m not even here?”
“Technically, your parents invite me over when you’re not here.” 
Heeseung pinches your thigh. “I’m serious, Y/N. You’re not getting rid of me. It’s like, scientifically impossible to separate the two of us.” 
“Thanks, Hee.” You feel him nod against you before he lifts his head from your shoulder. “I just feel like I get in my own head sometimes. You know what you want to do for the rest of your life and I barely know what I want for breakfast tomorrow.” 
“We don’t always have to figure it out. I know saying that feels like bullshit because I’m training to become an idol but I’m serious. There are so many people we know who don’t know what they’re doing with their lives.” 
“It feels like my life could very well be over.”
“You’re being dramatic.” 
You make a face at him. “I know.” 
“You’ll find something for you, okay? You’re barely an adult anyway. You still have college and all of that shit to figure it out.” 
“You’re right.” 
“As always.” 
“Don’t push it, Heeseung.”
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
Mr. and Mrs. Lee drive you to the showcase. They pick you up and the four of you have a quick dinner before heading over to the company’s theater and you feel somewhat like an important industry person when you’re given a badge with ‘VIP’ on it to signify that you’re part of the family and friends entourage. You see a group of people with clipboards and pens at the ready, dressed like they’ve just come from important meetings that determine the futures of each trainee. Perhaps that’s who they are. Some of these well-dressed individuals have younger people standing beside them, presumably assistants or something as such. 
It feels very formal and you’re wondering if the long skirt and long sleeve top you’re wearing is too childish. Everybody who looks important seems to be donning suits or dresses that make them look like they stepped out of a drama show. It doesn’t matter how many times you remind yourself that you’re young and not here to mingle with corporate executives. You still feel like the floor should swallow you whole and spit you out with a new wardrobe that matches everyone else’s. 
Heeseung’s parents chat with a few people they recognize and leave you and Minjun to fend for yourselves (or, rather, it feels that way). The young girl beside you hooks her arm with yours when you’ve been quiet for a moment too long and starts to lead you down the aisles. 
“Everyone in here looks so stuffy,” she whispers. “People working in entertainment should look like they’re having fun.” 
“I feel a little silly in this skirt,” you admit.
“You look great,” Minjun tells you as she bumps your hip with hers. “My mom made me wear this stupid dress that I can barely breathe in.” 
“I happen to think you look very cute, Minnie.” 
“But I don’t want to look cute,” she whines quietly. “I want to look like an adult.” 
“Yeah, well you can look like an adult when you are one. For now, just be happy that somebody finds you cute enough to do things for you.” 
Minjun wants to argue but doesn’t. In the time that she’s known you, there hasn’t been a reason for her to distrust anything you say to her because you’ve never had a reason to lie. It’s why she’s likely to listen to you over her own brother, a fact that Heeseung holds a mild grudge over. 
“I guess you’re right. I can’t even drive. I need people to drive me places.” 
You stifle a laugh. “Yeah, driving can be a pain sometimes. Enjoy your youth while you have it, okay?” Minjun rolls her eyes in a way that lets you know she’s joking. Being outwardly affectionate doesn’t seem to run in the Lee sibling genes, but you’d like to think you know them well enough to tell when they’re being genuine.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.” 
You try to tell yourself that, too. When everybody finds their seats and when the showcase begins, you’re in awe of how many talented people there are in the room when you hear their incredible vocal abilities and make performing in front of a crowd look easy. It’s easy to spot Heeseung when he’s dancing with a group of people you’ve never seen before. He always looks as if he’s floating on air, moving his body in ways you can’t fathom and he makes learning difficult choreography seem like a walk in the park. You’ve heard him sing before but not to this extent. The steady tone he delivers when he dances amazes you beyond comprehension and Minjun would later swear that she saw stars in your eyes when you watched her brother perform like this for the first time. 
What Heeseung neglected to tell you was that he secured a solo spot after months of impressing his coaches. He performs one of his favorite songs and moves across the stage like he was always meant to be dancing on it. From here, Heeseung looks like a celestial being with the lights cascading down his body. You hold your breath the entire time he sings on that stage and clap the loudest when everybody gives him a standing ovation. You peek to the side to see the same, stuffy executives nodding after his performance and write down things on their clipboards that you can only hope are praises and nothing but. 
Heeseung’s parents make their way to the front of the stage when the house lights turn on. They talk to people you don’t recognize and you find yourself following them instead of looking like an awkward mess, as everybody else has chosen to stand from their seats and greet the performers that have come out from backstage. 
Your best friend looks magnificent with his makeup and the outfit he last performed in. He looks like a real idol in this light and pride swells within your chest when people applaud him for his incredible performance before he reaches you. His smile turns bigger when he sees you and Minjun approaching him behind his parents and makes his way to engulf you in a hug. 
“You’re here,” he breathes. 
“I’d always said I’d be here for you, didn’t I?”
“I think this was the most important showcase of my life.” 
It would be hard to ignore Heeseung’s arm wrapped around your waist like he’s done it a thousand times before. It’s true that the two of you aren’t strangers to physical touch, but he never lingers on you like he is now. Still, you chalk it up to overflowing happiness and you can sense that Heeseung is genuinely pleased with himself. He isn’t pretending that he performed well like he does when he avoids going home after practice in lieu of spending time with you in your mother’s apartment. 
“You’re fucking incredible,” Minjun praises. 
“Language,” Heeseung chides, removing his arm from your waist to pinch her cheek. “Thank you for coming too. Where are eomma and appa?” 
Minjun points to where they are. “I think they were waiting for you to come out and started talking to the coaches.” 
“We should make our way there.” 
“You should,” you tell him, pushing Heeesung towards his parents. “I’ll be here when you’re done.” 
“Nonsense.” Heeseung shakes his head and grabs your wrist as best as he can with multiple bodies trying to squeeze past the three of you. 
When Heeseung pulls you away, you’re sure to grab onto Minjun’s hand so she doesn’t get lost in a sea of people either. Mr. and Mrs. Lee beam when they see their son approaching and Heeseung drops your wrist in favor of being smothered with affection by his parents. You can tell he feels embarrassed to be doted on in front of his peers because of how his ears are turning red, but you sit back and laugh with Minjun when she points it out loud. 
You let them talk and watch as people clad in business attire approach Heeseung and his parents. You're not sure if Heeseung knows them or not but he smiles and shakes their hands, going so far as to bow to their assistants as well. He talks to them like he’s been in this business for decades, making people laugh and remaining as humble as ever when people praise his performance skill. You’re not sure how Heeseung handles all of this attention and praise at the same time, or even what it must feel like to be talented enough to have people approach you. 
As you observe everybody else, it’s clear that Heeseung is the star of tonight’s showcase. The other performers did a fantastic job as well, but something about your best friend draws executives to him, and you’re sure everyone who hasn’t spoken to Heeseung is waiting for their turn. It feels exhausting to watch people socialize. You can only guess how exhausted Heeseung might be. 
Minjun joins her parents a little while later at their request, leaving you alone for the time being. You pull your phone out and text your mom that you’re still at the showcase and will let her know when Mr. and Mrs. Lee drive you back to the apartment. You use this as an excuse to look busy, replying to a few friends that you didn’t have time to respond to before coming to the showcase. But those conversations are dry and leave you without a distraction. 
“Y/N, come here!” 
Heeseung calls your name and your head snaps to where he’s standing. He beckons you over with a wave and you awkwardly waddle to where he’s standing. His family aren’t with him and you wonder just how long you’ve been looking at your phone for. 
“This is my best friend, Y/N,” Heeseung says as he pulls you closer to him. “Y/N, meet Kim Namjoon. He’s the president and founder of Big Hit.”
“It’s lovely to meet you.” The bow is almost automatic and you’re sure to put on a good first impression to help any reputation Heeseung has with Namjoon. You bow at an angle that’s deeper than a common greeting but just shy of ninety-degrees. 
Namjoon returns in kind. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. Heeseung’s a talented one, isn’t he?” 
“He’s the best at what he does,” you say earnestly. “I’ve never seen anybody work as hard as him in my entire life. Pardon if I’m overstepping, but I think Big Hit is incredibly lucky to have him.” 
He laughs at your politeness. “I feel the same. It’s not every day you come across someone who’s skilled at, well, everything.” 
“You know, when Heeseung and I were younger, we had this ongoing joke that he could master anything on the first try. I think it’s what makes him special, you know?”
“Guys, please don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Heeseung whines. His cheeks are red but both you and Namjoon laugh in good fun.
“There’s a reason why I chose Heeseung to be tonight’s soloist,” Namjoon informs. “This showcase is meant for people in the industry and if I’m being honest with you, I think you’ll be getting good remakes on your review.” 
Heeseung beams. “Wow…I don’t know what to say.”
“He says ‘thank you,’” you answer for him. “I can’t imagine what training must be like but I do know that all of it has paid off. Thank you for giving Heeseung a chance to prove himself.” 
There’s a glint in Namjoon’s eye. 
“Have you ever considered working in publicity?” Namjoon asks you. 
“No, why do you ask?”
“I think you’d have a real talent for it.” Namjoon says it in a way that feels too casual for a showcase, especially if he’s the one in charge of the company Heeseung is training under. “You speak well for Heeseung.” 
“Oh…thank you.” 
He turns to Heeseung and claps him on the back. “There’s more to being an idol than training and performing. You need people who know you and know the business. It’s important to make your career thrive because you can be the most talented person in the world, but if you don’t have the right people around you, none of that will matter.” 
Heeseung nods. “Y/N’s always been my champion.” 
“I can see.” Namjoon smiles at you. “Entertainment is not for the faint of heart and there’s more to it than being photographed. You need to be in the right places at the right time and know the right people who can get you there. That’s what publicity does for you. Y/N’s already doing it and she’s not working in entertainment yet.” 
Somehow, his words feel comforting. “I haven’t thought about what I want to do with my life but that seems like something I could do.” 
“It’s important work. Heeseung can perform the shit out of his solo but it doesn’t mean anything if he has nowhere to perform it.” 
Namjoon smiles at the both of you before his name is being called from behind him. 
“Great job on your solo, Heeseung.” He turns to you. “It was nice to meet you, Y/N.” He bows once more to the both of you before departing. 
“I feel like I’m buzzing,” Heeseung says as he puts an arm loosely around you. “It was like I was the only person in the room when I was performing, you know? The dance with the other guys was amazing and all of that but I feel like I was on another level when it was just me up there.” 
“You were incredible, Hee. I mean that. I don’t know a single person more talented than you.” 
Heeseung smiles down at you. 
“You know, it means a lot that you come to see me. Sometimes I wonder if people talk to me because they know I’m training to become an idol but you never make me feel like that. It feels natural and genuine. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, thanks.” 
You push him away from you, a giddy smile tugging on the edge of your lips. Heeseung is affectionate but less so in his vocabulary, choosing to tease you because it’s his way of letting you know he cares for you. Hearing him be so open and vulnerable tugs at your heartstrings and it makes you feel like you could achieve anything. 
“I’ll always be here for you, remember? You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
*✧・゚──────���──── *✧・゚
Heeseung’s life changes for the better after the night of the showcase when Namjoon tells him he’s secured a debut spot underneath their brand new label, Belift. Happiness flows within the Lee household and you’re nearly in tears when you realize all your best friend has worked for has finally paid off. 
But with it comes uncertainty and your fears are slowly becoming a reality when Heeseung stops talking to you as frequently as he used to. 
It comes with the job and you’re more than aware of how much Heeseung has on his plate between preparing for his debut and trying to fit in with the industry. You can’t imagine what life must be like for him now that his dream is just a few weeks away of becoming a reality but part of you wonders if it’s too difficult for him to keep you hanging on a leash. 
He calls his parents and Minjun as often as he gets. You know because Minjun swings by your mother’s apartment with Mrs. Lee on Saturday mornings to drop off baked goods, updating you on the latest she’s heard from her older brother. You try your best to quell your jealousy because they’re his family after all, but part of you feels like you have a right to call yourself his family too after all he said to you during the night of the showcase and all you’ve done for him. 
You’re sure Mr. and Mrs. Lee can sense it too. Heeseung no longer lives at home, having moved into his own dorm in the heart of Seoul, thirty minutes from you. You aren’t a stranger to their household without his presence but you’ve gradually stopped coming by unless Minjun calls you from Mrs. Lee’s phone to ask you to hang out. 
Texts and calls slowly diminish with his new line of work. You went from hearing from him every day to every other day, to nothing at all.
Seeing the blue delivered messages without any indication that he’s acknowledged you, makes you feel like a second priority. But you don’t know if you get the right to feel like this when you know how busy he is and the weight of his debut. Heeseung’s got one shot to make a good first impression and the last thing you want is to distract him from achieving his childhood dream of being a successful idol. 
Still, the silence stings.
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
Heeseung knows you’re waiting on him and ignores the pit in the bottom of his stomach that tells him to text you back. 
His new life has changed in ways he couldn’t fathom. When Namjoon told him the news about his debut and all of the details surrounding it, Heeseung felt as if the weight of the world was no longer a burden for him to carry, and that all he has ever wanted would eventually come to fruition. His new friends, namely the three guys around his age who have trained to become musicians, are people he gets along with more than he thought he would. Heeseung’s newfound excitement about the next chapter of his life takes him to new heights and he finds himself spending more time with Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon as they prepare for the debut showcase. 
Heeseung knows you’re waiting for him back at home but it’s so hard to focus on you when he’s wrapped up in his new life. Making time to see you is hard enough as it is and he knows you’re as patient as can be. In the years he’s been friends with you, Heeseung knows that your resilience knows no bounds and all that you’ve experienced in your lifetime has built the strong-willed, confident person he knows you to be. 
But his new life gets him caught up in the feeling of the present success. The three guys have known each other far longer than Heeseung has known them, only greeting each other in passing since all four of them were training in different areas of performance art. It wasn’t until they were living together that Heeseung started befriending them beyond practice and rehearsals. Jake’s the one who includes Heeseung the most on group outings or spending time playing video games in the living room. His entire life he’s been alone or with just you, seldom having a group of guys who just gets him. 
Heeseung tucks away the nagging feeling in the back of his head when he and Jay are preparing a meal for the four of them when he sees a text from you. 
hey hee, are you busy right now? it’s been a while since we hung out and i thought it would be nice to go get boba, or something. my treat !! <3
He shoves his phone in his back pocket before Jay can notice him staring at the screen. The message goes unanswered for the rest of the night as he basks in the company of his friends-slash-coworkers, the thought of getting boba with you far removed from his mind. Playing video games and getting to know the people he’ll likely be working with for the foreseeable future takes precedent. It’s what Heeseung keeps telling himself. 
After a while, the guilt no longer eats him alive. You’re busy focusing on graduating and preparing to attend university in the fall while he’s made his debut with his newfound best friends. It’s no surprise to anyone that Heeseung’s fanbase grows at a nearly alarming rate after he makes his debut. He grows popular with each day that passes and it feels like Heeseung has become the face of the newest generation overnight. 
He’ll wonder what you’re up to from time to time and let you know how he’s doing. Heeseung first sends a text to apologize, lying about not seeing your text sooner and that he’d love to get boba with you when he has the time. You tell him not to worry because you know he’s busy. He texts you pictures of his first performance and scenic pictures of the cities he visits because of his travel and promotion schedule. You update him on the end of the school year and how your mother is dealing with you moving away for college. 
The texts become sparse as the two of you resume your separate lives and Heeseung doesn’t realize that you don’t text him until the day of your graduation–the day that he was supposed to graduate if he hadn’t deferred to the trainee program–wishing him well and that you’re thinking of him. You send a video of yourself pulling your tassel over the graduation cap and he feels nothing for the lost time when he’s on his way to promote his first album overseas.
It’s for my career, he tells himself when he realizes how much time has passed since he thought of you. I’m doing what’s best for me and everybody else needs to get used to it.
It isn’t until Heeseung is permitted a few days off that he comes home per his parents’ request. He doesn’t tell them that he’s a bit homesick even though his dorm is a thirty minute drive, but it feels oceans away when his days are packed from morning until night. He tells his parents about his travels and what kinds of food he’s been eating when he’s overseas. Heeseung gifts Minjun all of the trinkets and souvenirs he bought from his time promoting his album, and what his future holds for him when he returns to his life as an idol. Mr. and Mrs. Lee applaud their son’s hard work, yet they can’t help but feel like there’s a piece of a puzzle missing because you aren’t here to celebrate with them. 
You make a visit at Minjun’s request. When you arrive, you’re stunned to learn that Heeseung is back at home and only has the evening until he needs to return to work. Heeseung can see the disappointment that festers in your eyes and the way your shoulder droops as you smile at him for his family’s sake, although he knows it’s false bravado because your grin doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
 He leads you upstairs to his bedroom when Mr. Lee insists that the two of you spend some time together after not having seen each other in ages. It feels awkward to be in his childhood bedroom with the door just slightly ajar at this moment, but it isn’t anything completely new.
What is new, however, is seeing that you’ve dyed your hair a different color and that you’ve gotten your ears pierced.
“You look good,” he says, lifting his hand to toy with the end of your hair. “It matches your skin tone nicely.” 
“Thanks.” 
“Did you do it recently? It looks fresh.” 
You don’t note that Heeseung also has a different hair color than his natural jet black. 
“Two weeks ago. My cousin did it for me.” 
He nods. “Nice. It looks good. I see that you’re wearing necklaces too.” 
“Yeah. I decided it was time to stop being a child and get it over with.”
“You know, you don’t have to do things if you don’t want to.” You throw a pointed look at Heeseung and it’s an expression he’s unfamiliar with. 
“I know. But I like earrings and that’s why I wanted to get them pierced.” 
Heeseung wipes his hand on his pants at the awkward tension in the room. He knows he’s to blame. His schedule and priorities have pulled him away from you and the life he’s built prior to debuting, but can anyone blame him? Can anyone blame him for not being able to balance his life when he’s been given the keys to a new empire? 
“Well, it was nice seeing you.” You throw a cheap smile in his direction and motion to open the door until Heeseung grabs your wrist, causing you to turn around. 
“You’re leaving?” 
“Yeah,” you nod. “You have an early day tomorrow.” 
Heeseung sharks his head. “It’s fine. I don’t have to be back in Seoul until ten anyway. I’ve missed you and I want to spend time with you before I absolutely have to fall asleep.” 
You scoff. “That’s real funny, Heeseung. You missed me but all of my texts and calls go unanswered.”
He frowns. “You know that I’m busy most days.” 
“And nights?” 
“I’m with the guys back at the dorm.” 
You poke your cheek with your tongue. 
“See, I would know all of this if you bothered to talk to me at all but it sees that your new life is treating you just fine.” 
You make another move to leave his room but he closes the door, startling you with the loud noise. He apologizes quietly and uses his body to block you from leaving for the time being. 
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been so busy between promotion and rehearsal that it’s hard to keep track of who I keep up with and who I don’t.” 
“You’re talking to me like I’ve never seen you cry before,” you say with a disappointed sigh. “You act like I’m somebody you once knew in a past life.” 
“Not true. You’re my best friend.” 
“Best friends would bother to talk to each other. You know that, right? I don’t exist just so you can pick and choose when you need somebody to talk to. It makes me feel like you don’t actually care about me, Heeseung. It makes me feel like you’ve ever cared about our friendship unless you needed a shoulder to cry on and I was the first person who would listen to you.”
“That’s not true. I’m just busy.”
“I get that, I really do. But it’s been months, Heeseung. I know that I can’t have your attention all the time and I know I can’t see you as often as I did. But would it kill you to let me know you’re alive? The only time I hear about you is when other people talk about you or when I see you on billboards. That doesn’t feel like a friendship to me.”
His fists ball at his side and his frustration surfaces. Heeseung is frustrated at everyone–himself for being unable to say ‘no’ to his new friends, you for expecting so much of him, and his company for keeping him as busy as he is. But he doesn’t know how to communicate that, not when you’re standing in front of him, looking like he’s the villain in your life when he feels like he’s not. 
“Well that’s life, Y/N,” Heeseung settles. “Sometimes we need to learn when to prioritize things over others.” 
You laugh humorlessly. “Is that the hill you’re going to die on? You’re too busy to send a simple text back or let me know that you’re, I don’t know, okay?”
“You can’t be a priority all the time.”
“I know that. I’m not asking you to drop everything for me just because I called you. I’m asking you to treat me like somebody you care about, Heeseung. Is that too much to ask?” 
The anger Heeseung feels within him feels misplaced, but your inability to hear him about makes him even angrier. It’s unfair for you to demand such things of him when he’s pursuing everything he’s ever dreamed of.
“Yes, it is too much to ask,” Heeseung bites back. “You don’t understand the gravity of what I do for a living and it’s hard to appreciate it when you’re breathing down my neck. God, when did you become such a clingy person, Y/N? The world doesn’t revolve around you and I don’t owe you shit just because you can’t handle that I’m busier than you are.” 
“You’re kidding me, right?” 
“I’m being dead serious.” Heeseung steps away from the door. “You of all people know how badly I want this and now it’s like you’re not letting me enjoy what I’ve worked for. What kind of friend does that make you?” 
The words tumble out of his mouth before he can catch them. His need to be the victim in an uncertain period of his life causes him to misdirect his frustration with adapting to his new life and the proof is written all over your face. 
“Y/N, I didn’t mean–”
“Don’t,” you say sharply. “Just don’t.”
Frozen, Heeseung watches you open his door with such force that it nearly slams into him. He’s quick on his feet to follow you downstairs where he sees his family looking perplexed when you’ve opened the front door without saying goodbye. 
“Y/N, I didn’t mean it!” Heesueng yells when you’ve crossed the threshold of his household. “Please come back inside.”
“You made it very clear that I have no place in your new life. Congratulations, I hope you’re happy.” 
You walk away while the deep feelings of disappointment and uncertainty settles in Heeseung’s chest. He walks back inside and closes the door behind him to see Minjun and his parents in a deep stupor, trying to make sense of the scene that has just unfolded before them. 
“What happened?” Mrs. Lee asks. 
“Y/N and I…” his voice cracks. “I don’t think we’re friends anymore.” 
The room is silent, save for the ticking of the wall clock. 
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Minjun says without a smile. 
Heeseung wants to tell her that she’s wrong and whatever conversation they must’ve heard was a product of two friends having their first serious argument. Heeseung’s own frustrations towards his new life is something he doesn’t talk about often because he’s worked so hard to become the person he is, and it would be ungrateful to complain about what he has yearned for his entire life. It bottled up so much that hearing you accuse him of being a poor friend caused him to unravel and say things he doesn’t mean. 
Mrs. Lee beats him to speaking.
“Don’t say that, Minjun.” 
The young girl remains quiet and refuses to meet Heeseung’s eye.
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
In the few years that follow, you resist rolling your eyes when you see Heeseung’s face in magazine ads and billboards across the city. Life takes you to university where you spend the next four years deciding on the rest of your life before you settle on something everybody said you’d be good at. 
Graduation approaches far sooner than you’d like and it becomes bittersweet when you see the Lee family, sans Heeseung, in the stadium next to your mom, who are all equally shedding tears as your name is called. Heeseung being absent feels hollow, like another reminder that people choose to leave your life without a moment’s notice but for the sake of keeping up appearances, you smile at the camera when you accept your diploma. 
It’s not a surprise to you when you find yourself working in entertainment like Kim Namjoon said you could all those years ago. 
A job is a job, but he was right when he told you this would be something you’d excel at. Day in and day out, your responsibilities differ as you begin working at Hybe, formerly Big Hit, to manage the profiles and public appearances of idols and other public figures alike. 
Heeseung doesn’t hear from you much. His parents update him on your coursework and send him photos of you at graduation. He cries every so often when he feels the urge to call you and tell you about his day, but doesn’t know whether he has the right to do that anymore. The years in his position has taught him what true life balance is, especially with the media and paparazzi taking an interest in his personal life. 
It feels so exhausting to have nobody you can depend on. These days, it’s just him and the three boys he met at the beginning of his career. Heeseung’s popularity has grown so much that he can’t tell up from down. It drowns him in a way he never anticipated and the politics of fame and the industry wasn’t something he accounted for when he began dreaming about a career in the performance space. 
Perhaps it’s why he spends his days feeling listless, like he’s got no real potential after achieving his dream. He knows his managers worry for his health and that the other trainees in the building can sense something has been off for a while. Maybe it’s why he roams the halls with headphones on to drown out the noise that’s become his everyday life, with talks of meetings and promotions and everything Heeseung wishes to get away from, if for only one day.
When Heeseung bumps into somebody on his way out of the company elevator, his first instinct is to lean down to collect the papers that have fallen haphazardly on the floor. He pushes his headphones until they rest around his neck and stands to hand them back to the person he bumped into. Only, he feels his body freeze when he sees who it is. 
Like Heeseung has always believed, if you really love someone, they will always come back to you. 
“Y/N?”
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚ 
potential part two ft. the rest of enha … this was a therapy piece lol
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚ 
taglist: @enha-stars @karinasbaby @baevsxii @lillotus17 @syzavxy @mrmld @nikilvrfvr @luvyev @notevenheretbh1 @wvnkoi @seungiesgf @kgneptun @judeduartewannabe @iheartjayke @wonsbubble @ilyjxdz @foggysfrog @oddracha @haechansbbg @tobiosbbyghorl @ryunjin0 @sharksandminhos @jungwoneez @alex-is-sleeping @minjaexvz @woninluv @engeneeee-168 @friendlyuser57 @moony-mari @trdhgg @sleepyhoon @sunghoonsgfreal @i02hoonz @riksaes @021894s @zeeloveshee @jwnghyuns @vhuteryh @cloudiesblog @awsome209 @fleurixzs @xiaoderrrr @marshwatz @aeripark0703 @bambangan @papichulomacy .
apologies to all tumblr wouldn't tag. :)
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ohcolinbridgerton · 4 months
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red | colin bridgerton
summary: a childhood crush, a jealous colin & a red dress
warnings: none
word count: 3.1k
requests: open
masterlist
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a/n: based off of a request i got, thanks so much for the anon!!! i loved your idea and hope you enjoy my interpretation of it. if anyone has any requests, send them my way i love writing these!! <3
-
From before Colin Bridgerton could even remember, Y/N had been a part of his life. 
He remembers the day they met as if it were only yesterday. It was a sunny afternoon, untypical from the usual London fog, and whilst Colin explored the village square, he was drawn in by the sound of laughter that he could only describe as the sweetest melody he had ever heard. Following the sound, he arrived at a small, flower-filled meadow just beyond the square. And there, amid the vibrant blooms and tall grass, he saw her—a girl in a scarlet red dress, her hair gleaming in the sunlight. She was chasing a blue butterfly, her laughter ringing out each time it flitted just beyond her reach. With sparkling eyes of delight and determination, her movement remained graceful yet free-spirited. Colin recalls watching, completely mesmerised as she twirled and leapt, the hem of her dress catching the breeze and fanning out like petals in full bloom, a perfect mirror of the daisies that surrounded her. 
His heart skipped a beat, a feeling he couldn't yet name blooming within him. He was only young when they met, and while he was certain he had experienced infatuation before, this felt completely different. It was as if one of the German fairytale books that his mother kept in the library had been opened and out had stepped this very girl, a princess engulfed in a sea of blossoms. 
Summoning his courage, Colin stepped forward, his small voice calling out, “Hello!”
The girl stopped and turned, her eyes meeting his with a warmth that made his cheeks flush. She smiled—a bright and infectious grin that made Colin’s heart flutter. “Hello!” she replied, her voice as cheerful as her laughter. “I’m Y/N. Would you like to help me catch this butterfly?”
Colin nodded eagerly, his shyness melting away in the face of her open friendliness. He remembers it being so easy to make a friend at his young age, and he often wondered if they had met years later, if they would still have warmed to each other as they did that day. He likes to think they would. 
Together, they darted through the meadow, their laughter mingling as they chased the elusive butterfly. As the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over the meadow, they finally managed to catch the butterfly gently in Y/N’s cupped hands. They marvelled at its delicate wings, a symbol of their newfound friendship. 
That day was a very special day for Colin.
By the time they reached their late teens, Colin knew his feelings for Y/N had only continued to grow into something much deeper than mere friendship. He loved everything about her: the way her eyes sparkled with joy, her radiant smile, her sharp wit, and their shared love for literature and exploration. Yet he kept his feelings hidden, fearing that revealing them might disrupt the delicate balance of their bond. A bond he feared could never be replaced if broken.
The very feelings he tried to hide so desperately occupied his every thought, however. Every little thing he did reminded him of her somehow, and every sight of her was enough to cause him to lose his ability to breathe. He was like a dramatic debutante swooning over a Lord; he was sure that he was near swooning every time she was in his presence. With such feelings weighing on his mind, Colin thought it would be best if he had a distraction, and so he decided to act on his desire to travel the world. And so, at the age of two and twenty, he planned to leave the Ton in search of a diversion from the feelings in his heart. 
It was a cold evening when Colin decided to tell her of his plans to travel. They were sitting on the wooden swing that hung off of a tree on the Bridgerton grounds—a swing set that they had often found themselves on in all their years of friendship. The sunset had painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, casting a warm glow over Y/N’s face. She was talking animatedly about a new novel she’d started reading, her eyes shining with excitement. 
Colin watched her, his heart swelling with affection. He loved how passionate she got about things she cared about. He loved the way her nose crinkled when she laughed. He loved her.
“Colin, are you listening to me?” Y/N’s voice broke through his thoughts.
“Yes, apologies,” he said, tearing his gaze away from her. “I was lost in my thoughts.”
She smiled, nudging him playfully. “You do that a lot.”
“Yes,” he admitted, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I suppose I do.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the rustling leaves and distant birdsong. In that very moment, Colin wanted nothing more than to tell her, to pour out his heart and confess his feelings, but the words stuck in his throat, and his train of thought was paused by her exclamation. 
“Colin, you must read this book! The heroine is so bold and spirited, much like Elizabeth Bennett,” she said, her smile infectious.
Colin smiled back, his heart aching with unspoken words. “I shall, Y/N. Your recommendations never disappoint.”
Colin opened his own book of poetry, reading aloud one of his favourite verses. His voice was steady, but inside, emotions churned like a tempest.
When he finished, she looked at him, her gaze soft. “You have a way with words, Colin. You always make everything sound so beautiful.”
He felt a blush creep up his neck. “It is the words themselves that are beautiful. I am merely the voice.”
Y/N laughed, a sound that filled Colin with warmth. “Ever so modest.”
As the afternoon waned, they lay side by side on the soft grass, watching the clouds drift lazily across the sky. Colin turned his head to look at Y/N’s, her face serene and thoughtful. She had always been so beautiful to him.
“Y/N,” he began hesitantly, “I must tell you something.”
“What is it?” she asked, her voice soft.
Colin took a deep breath. “I am leaving soon. I wish to travel around the world.’’
She gave him a wide smile, and his heart felt like it had deflated. He wasn’t sure why he expected her to be sad that he was leaving, especially when she had always been his biggest supporter in anything he ever wanted to do, yet it bruised him slightly, and he wondered if she’d even miss him. 
She leaned her head on his shoulder, a gesture that always made his heart race. ‘’I will miss you, but I am so proud of you.’’
“I will miss you too,” he replied, wrapping his arm around her. And he meant it. No matter what happened, he would always be there for her, even if it meant keeping his feelings to himself. ‘’Always.’’
As the stars began to appear and the sun began to set, Colin made a silent promise. He would cherish every last day they spent together before he left and take with him all the happiness she brought him, but once he returned, he would make these feelings go away, as for now, being her best friend was all he could be, and that was enough. 
-
Months had passed before Colin decided to return to the Ton. Over the time he spent away, he sent letters to nearly everyone that he thought might want to hear of his travels, but the only reply that seemed to matter to him was Y/N’s. His plan to distract himself had failed miserably, and his heart continued to race at the mere sight of her name written in ink: ‘Yours, Y/N’ as she’d always sign her letters. 
He decided after a few months that enough time had been spent away from his family and friends, so he made his way back to London just in time for the new season. Upon his return, he found himself in a predicament. Through whispers from his younger sisters, Eloise and Francessca, and the writings of Lady Whistledown, he had discovered that Y/N had been named the diamond of the season by Queen Charlotte herself, and it seemed that every eligible lord was vying for her attention. It was her second season out, and it was a rarity that the Queen would decide to choose someone who had already been accustomed to the dealings that came with being out in society; however, to Colin, it was no surprise that she had been named the diamond. She always sparkled, and she had always been like a rare jewel in his eyes.
He stood at the edge of the ballroom. He was yet to see her - with his late arrival in the day, he had missed the promenading that his family had done that morning so he hadn't had the chance to see her just yet. But he knew where to go looking, he knew the one place he’d definitely find her was on the dance floor—she was the diamond after all. 
His gaze stayed fixed on the entrance of the room, awaiting her arrival, and it wasn’t long before she arrived. Everyone’s eyes were on her as she stood at the top of the stairs. She was completely radiant in a red dress, the very same shade as the one Colin thought about every day. The colour of the dress she was wearing the day they met as she chased a butterfly around the meadows. 
The sight of her brought back a flood of memories, each one only amplifying the ache in his heart. He thought he might faint on the spot. His breath had hitched, and he knew that if he were drinking lemonade, he would have been sure to spit it out in complete and utter infatuation. He had travelled far and wide, seeking to distract himself from his feelings, but the sight of her in front of him was enough to make him fall to his knees. 
Colin watched, seething with jealousy, as Lord Fife and Lord Cho each flocked towards her in hopes of dancing. Y/N, ever the picture of grace and beauty, seemed to enjoy the attention, but Colin knew her well enough to see the subtle signs of uninterest that she felt for the Lord’s. She was never one to crave the attention of male suitors. Colin wasn’t even sure if she wanted to marry, but if she did, it was not something Colin was prepared to hear; it would break him after all. 
He could see her eyes studying the room, and in his heart, he hoped that she might have been looking for him, perhaps having heard of his return from his sisters or Whistledown. But it must have all been in his head as he watched her take the hand of Lord Fife and make their way to the dance floor, a chorus of violins following them. 
His heart ached as he watched her, the only woman who had effortlessly captured his affections, was dancing with Lord Fife. Her laughter was like a delicate melody that mingled with the strains of the waltz, her eyes glistening with a joy that seemed to light up the entire room. Colin's breath caught in his throat as he saw the way she smiled up at Lord Fife, her face alight with an expression he had hoped to see directed at himself.
Colin's grip tightened around the glass of lemonade he held, the stem of the glass pressing into his palm. He had always been confident and knew how to charm and engage those around him. But when it came to her, he felt a sense of vulnerability that was both exhilarating and terrifying.
Lord Fife, with his impeccable manners and easy charm, seemed to be everything Colin was not. He was suave, sophisticated, and clearly taken with Y/N. Watching them together, Colin felt a pang of jealousy twist in his chest. He wanted to be the one to make her laugh and see her eyes light up with happiness because of him. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought that Fife had been the one making her laugh all the months he was away; he knew he should have never left. 
The music swelled to a crescendo, and the dancers moved with a fluid grace that seemed almost otherworldly. Y/N's gown, his favourite shade of red, swirled around her like a cloud, her movements light and graceful. Colin couldn't tear his eyes away from her; he couldn't stop the thoughts racing through his mind. What if he never got the chance to tell her how he felt? What if she chose Lord Fife over him? What if her happy ever after was with Fife and not him?
He watched as she bid Lord Fife goodbye and made her way through the crowd. As she did so, she attracted the attention of more suitors, each eager to win her favour. She flashed them a smile but continued to the table that held refreshments, parched from all the laughing and talking she’d done with someone who wasn't him. He couldn’t take it anymore.
The final straw came when he saw his own brother, Benedict, saunter up to Y/N with his usual charm and grace. His jealousy reached an all-time high as he watched Benedict lean in close to whisper something in Y/N’s ear, making her laugh. The sound, usually so delightful, the first harmonious tune he had ever heard from her, now felt like a dagger to his heart. 
Unable to bear it any longer, Colin pushed through the crowd, his eyes locked on Y/N and Benedict. “May I cut in?” he asked, his voice strained but firm.
Benedict, sensing the tension, smiled knowingly and stepped back, offering Y/N’s hand to Colin with a slight bow. All of the Bridgerton’s knew of Colin’s feelings for his best friend, and Benedict possessed no ill-intention when it came to Y/N, simply wanting to catch up with a family friend as they both sipped away at their lemonade. As he walked away from the pair, a smile formed on his lips. ‘Finally,’ he thought in his mind, perhaps it was the nudge Colin needed all this time. Unknowing to Colin, Benedict had been watching him watch Y/N the whole night and was certain he needed to intervene before Colin smashed his lemonade glass in his hand from how hard he gripped it in his hands. Brothers, what would you do without them.
Y/N looked up at Colin, her eyes wide with surprise and a hint of confusion.
“Colin, what are you-?” she began, but he interrupted by taking her hand and leading her onto the dance floor.
‘’Hello,’’ he said, his voice low and intense. ‘’I apologise for interrupting, but I had to speak to you.’’
‘’I’ve been here all night.’’ She sighed, her eyes furrowed as she watched Colin, his eyes falling to meet hers. ‘’Look at me. I’ve missed you, Colin.’’
He finally met her gaze, his blue eyes locking with hers. The sour taste that he’d had in his mouth from watching her dance with other men had gone at the sight of her face looking up at his. 
‘’I’ve missed you too.’’ He spoke as they moved slowly across the dance floor. 
‘’What’s wrong?’’ She said as she squeezed his hand, and he felt his heart leap. ‘’You’ve got that look on your face, the one you always get when you are lost with your thoughts.’’
He knew it was now or never. He could simply reply and tell her ‘it was nothing’ or he could be the proud man that his mother had raised him to be and finally confess the one thing to the only person that mattered most in his world. 
“I could not stand by and watch any longer,” Colin said, in shock that his words had even made it out of his mouth, his throat dry. “Seeing you with all those suitors, and then with Benedict, it drove me mad.”
Y/N gazed up at him, her expression softening. “Colin, I’ve wanted your attention the whole night. I’ve looked for you all night, but you have not seemed to notice me.’”
He pulled her closer ''I did notice you,'' his eyes searching for hers. “I notice you all the time. In every room we are ever in, you are the only one I ever notice. Your eyes, your smile, the way you make me laugh, our shared love for books and adventures, the red dress you're wearing tonight that reminds me of the very first time we met... I notice everything about you.’’ 
Tears glistened in Y/N’s eyes as she smiled up at him. ‘’You remember the dress I wore the very first day we met?’’
‘’That shade of red has been my favourite colour since the day we met. I promise you, when I say this Y/N, I notice everything about you. I remember everything about you. You occupy my every thought.’’
‘’Colin-.’’
‘’I have wanted to say these words to you for the last sixteen years, and I realise it might be too late. I do not know how you feel about Lord Fife or Benedict for that matter, but I can only hope you are not serious about him because I would like it if it were me you were serious about, for I am serious about you, and another day without you-’’
‘’Colin. Stop talking and breathe for a moment,’’ she said softly, her voice steady. ‘’I am not serious about Lord Fife and I am most definitely not serious about Benedict, he's like a brother to me. I never have been. The only person I have spent every day longing for is you, and I have missed you dearly every day that you have been away. You say you notice everything about me, but I, too, notice everything about you. Your kindness, wit, caring nature—it is everything I have missed since you have been gone. You are the only person I have ever been serious about in my life. The only one.’’
For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. 
Colin was sure his heart was about to collapse, and he was surprised his feet were still carrying him through their dance. 
"Y/N..."
She smiled—a beautiful, radiant smile that made his heart skip a beat. "I'm glad you told me, Colin. I have been waiting for this very moment for the last sixteen years.’’
"I should have told you sooner," he whispered, leaning into her further. Had it not been for the fact that they were dancing in the Queen’s very ballroom, he was certain he would have kissed her there and then. 
"Better late than never," she replied with a laugh, her eyes sparkling with happiness.
Colin knew that he would never again let any more time come between them. They had wasted enough of it, and now they had a lifetime ahead of them to make up for it.
‘’Colin…’’ Y/N spoke softly, her eyes still fixed on his.
‘’Yes?’’ 
‘’I want you to know I wore this dress just for you. Your favourite shade of red.’’
-
a/n: hope you all enjoyed. the anon i received was such a lovely request and i hope that i've done it justice. thanks for reading!!!
507 notes · View notes
slytherizz · 10 months
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Everything, with you - Sebastian Sallow x F!MC/Reader
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Tags/Warnings: 18+ | Breeding Kink | Size Kink | explicit sexual content | Dad!Seb
All tags can be found on Ao3
Summary:
"Watching you carry my children is one of life's greatest pleasures. If it's possible - you're more beautiful now than you've ever been.”
“Do you ever think about…”
“Having another one?”
A/N This works as a stand-alone but if you happened to have read either of my long fics this would sit either after the epilogue of 'Whatever it Takes' or in between the final chapter and the epilogue of 'In the Shadow of Us' (but I omitted the Azkaban references so it works for both). I have literally nothing to say for myself for this one other than...
For the thicc Seb girlies 💕
Dark curly hair tickled the underside of Sebastian's chin as he adjusted his son nestled in his lap. Book resting against his knee which was bent at an awkward and rather uncomfortable angle where he'd managed to cram himself onto Sam's little bed. Sebastian’s neck ached and his left leg was almost completely dead. Not that he minded. He knew his youngest would outgrow this one day, and would no longer need his father to read him fairytales. So Sebastian succumbed easily to Sam’s pleading and let himself be the dutiful mountain against which his son could rest. 
"Now, this word’s a little tricky, so take your time with it,” Sebastian tapped his finger on the page. "What does this say?"
"I'm not sure." Sam frowned. He traced his pudgy finger over the unfamiliar word and along the bright plume of fiery feathers printed in rich shades of red and gold on the page. The enchanted bird ruffled its wings as it clicked its beak attempting to nip at Sam's fingers. Each time the bird squawked soundlessly as he stroked its plumage Sam giggled with delight.
"Sound it out. You see right here? The 'Ph' makes an ‘f’ sound.”
"Like ‘t’ and ‘h’ make a 'the' sound?" 
“Exactly right. Two letters. One sound,” Sebastian said, ruffling his boy's hair proudly. 
Alice, his eldest had always had an uncanny ability to memorise words. Could recall the contents of practically every book he'd ever given her once she’d devoured it. She'd taken great pride in unnerving her primary school teacher by listing every ingredient in ‘A draft of living death’. Which may have seemed like a feat within itself…until she’d insisted on doing it backwards.
His unique form of parenting had been called into question more than once by her teachers but who was he to tell his daughter that ‘most potent potions’ was not appropriate bedtime reading? Restricting her inquisitive mind would be a far greater sin. 
Sam's little mind on the other hand worked like a tinker. Slower it may seem than his sister as he pieced together meaning. But that wasn’t nearly the case. Simply because he liked to fiddle with things more than his sister. Take a word apart and rearrange it before dismantling it again entirely. He picked apart the rules as he learnt them. All whilst, humming sagely from time to time like he was some great philosopher and he wasn't in fact, a boy of four who had spent the morning sulking when there was no honey left in the pantry for his toast.
“Try sounding it out," he encouraged. 
"Fee-nix?" Sam’s brows furrowed slightly the new word unfamiliar and clunky on his tongue. "Pheonix?"
"That’s it. You’re doing well. Now I know you know the rest of it. Reckon you can read the full sentence?” 
"The p-phoenix went up in…smoke?"
"Clever boy!"
Sam turned to look up at Sebastian, puffing out his chest with pride. Sebastian kissed the crown of his head affectionately. Sam burrowed his head into his shirt trying and failing to disguise a yawn against his father's chest. 
Snapping the book closed and placing it on his bedside table. Sebastian scooped him up as he shifted off the small bed placing his son snuggly under the quilt constellations in golden thread adorned its edges. 
“Right, I think that's enough for tonight. Bedtime for you mister.”
“But I'm not tired,” Sam protested. Rubbing his drooping eyelids which did little to rally his father to his plight. Eyes so like his mother's framed under furrowed dark brows. Stubbornness was an inherited trait and with how pigheaded he and his wife could be Sebastian should have known his children would be no different.
“I'm sure you're not,” Sebastian chuckled. Tucking the blankets tighter around his squirming limbs. “But it's already way past your bedtime. If you settle down I’ll put the stars up - How does that sound?”
Sam grinned, nodding his head eagerly as he buried his head deeper into his pillow. Sebastian pulled out his wand. Sam’s eyes lighting up. Glittering as they always get in his eyes when either of her parents performed even the simplest of charms. With an unnecessarily large flourish, Sebastian extinguished the bedside lantern plunging them into darkness. He whispered his modified charm.
Stars small but dazzling began to twinkle into life one by one across the steepled ceiling painting the cosmos across the wooden beams. 
It wasn’t nearly as elaborate as the charm in the Hogwarts great hall that had given Sebastian the inspiration. Not quite a replication of the overcast sky outside, but to Sam’s childlike wonder; his father could conjure the heavens in his bedroom. Pluck the stars from the sky so he could sleep bathed in starlight. 
For all his folly into the persuits into the darker sides of magic - there was no spell more powerful than the ones that made his children’s life a little more magical. 
“Night, Dad.”
***
Undoing the buttons of his shirt Sebastian shucking the material from his shoulders. Wincing as he kneaded at the tight knot that had formed in his neck from too long spent hunched over in his son's small bed. Stretching like a bear ripe from hibernation joints cracking audibly. 
His dark brows lifted in alarm as he caught his reflection in the ornate oblong mirror tucked into the corner of their bedroom. 
Sebastian had always looked like his father. Same bow to their lips, unruly chestnut hair and soft brown eyes like sodden earth after rain. He could practically divine how his features would change using the brushstrokes of the portrait of his parents that hung proudly on the stairs. 
But it was the things that went beyond the superficial that made his parents' old friends stumble on his name and acquaintances double-take in the street as if the dead still walked among them. The determined set of his jaw, the curious glint in his eye. There truly had never been any mistaking exactly who Sebastian’s father was. 
But he didn’t just look like his Dad ; he looked like a Dad.
Not that he'd ever been particularly lean . A stockiness to his frame as all Sallow men carried. Violence practically carved into his marrow. Built more for quidditch or boxing, than for scholarly pursuits he'd always been drawn to; but this was getting out of hand. 
Sebastian frowned at his reflection. Still strong in the trunk in a way that he never minded, especially not with how it elicited such sinful looks from his wife but he had become notably softer around the middle. What had once been a sparse tuft of hair on his chest he’d taken great pride as a lad, was now thick dark hair trailing down his stomach. 
It seemed as unprepared Sebastian had been, stumbling bowlegged and awkwardly into fatherhood, not having nearly enough time with his own to have much to go off; his body had settled far quicker into his new role than he had.
Scratching at the short beard he kept neatly trimmed. Well, for what could pass as neat considering his hair was unruly no matter where it grew. Sebastian twisted and turned, appraising himself from different angles.
When was the last time he'd duelled? Worked up any kind of sweat? 
Perhaps he should consider himself lucky he was in the shape he was. Carrying his children upstairs to bed and lugging stacks of heavy stacks of old manuscripts and attifacts charmed against magical interference around the Department of Mysteries hardly counted as exercise. The closest thing anyone would consider vigorous was fucking his wife. But then again holding her small frame against a wall hardly felt like work. 
He rotated his joints, and the tendons of muscle in his heavy shoulders flexed under freckled skin. An old puckered scar long faded to white across his shoulder now a mere remnant from his past life. Underneath the soft exterior of the doting father he’d become still lurked the shadow of the hellion youth he’d once been. 
Delicate hands slithered around his middle running along the breadth of him stroking at the hair on his chest. Her warm cheek came to rest, nestled between his shoulder blades. Sighing affectionately, her breath tickling his skin. Sebastian leaned into her touch, even after all these years he still felt sparks.
"If you keep scowling your face will get stuck like that,” she chided. Sebastian snorted twisting in her hold to face her. She’d loosened the soft braids she usually wore at her temples so her hair hung loose around her shoulders. She smiled up at him, crooked and his heart stuttered in an unsteady rhythm. 
“Alice, go down without any fuss?”
“Has she ever?” She quirked an eyebrow at him far more amused by their daughters' antics than cross. “Caught her trying to get into your study after I put her to bed - again. Luckily she isn’t half as stealthy as she is mischievous.”
Sebastian grinned at her, arching his eyebrows. “She gets that from you.”
“I think Scribner would have disagreed.” She said rolling her eyes. “But something tells me it's not Alice's nocturnal antics causing that face. Tell me what's wrong my love?" 
Placing a warm hand against his cheek fingers combing through the hair on his chin. He shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her gaze. Failing to suppress the heat he could feel rising in his cheeks most likely staining the tops of his ears. 
"Nothing, Pet. I’m uh-” he hesitated, wincing slightly. Perhaps she hadn’t noticed. And is she hadn't, he was reluctant to point it out. Lest it change the way she looked at him. She was still as radiant the first time he'd laid eyes on her but Sebastian was a far cry from the roguish boy who'd made her heart race. 
He leaned heavily into her hand resting against his chin. Letting the tenderness of her touch and softness of her gaze quell the unease. “Just carrying a bit more timber than I'm used to. I hadn’t noticed how much the years had caught up to me. After two kids and all."
"You’ll always be the same stubborn and reckless boy to me," she wrapped her arms around him tighter. It was only a chaste peck but an inexplicable blush darkened her cheeks as she nibbled on the inside of her cheek contemplatively. Her hands grazed along Sebastian’s freckled shoulders, through the sparse hair on his chest nails scratching softly. "But I must admit…I rather like you like this. Broad. Manly.”
" Oh - Do you now?" he smirked. Admiring the flush that had stained her cheeks at her admission.
Seeming to take an unnatural amount of interest in the pattern of their curtains she averted her eyes blushing deeply. "Yes. I do. And don't let it go to your big head.”
Far too late for that. After all these years she should really have known better. His chest already swelling with pride a smug smile pulling at the corner of his freckled cheeks.
Tugging at the sleeve of her pale blue dress. The cotton slipped away to expose more of her skin. Sebastian snaked his hand around her waist to settle on the small of her back. Ducking his head to pepper kisses along the dip of her shoulder. 
The faint smell of mallowsweet that always clung to her hair far sweeter than any perfume; a herb balm that had soothed and tamed his stubborn heart. Heat rose where he'd exposed her as Sebastian's mouth worked its way down her neck towards her clavicle. Her fingers pressed a little harder into his flesh feeling the tight coils of muscle that still lurked underneath. 
Despite Sebastian's intention of letting his wife thoroughly enjoy the body, she found so desirable. She seemed distracted. Her breathing hitched a little as he grazed his teeth over her delicate throat. Sucking in just a way that would usually drive all the thoughts from her pretty head - that was not the case tonight.
“Besides - it's not like I look the same as I did before Alice and Sam.”
"Mmm, but watching you carry my children is one of life's greatest pleasures. If it's possible - you're more beautiful now than you've ever been.”
“Do you ever think about…”
She trailed off. Mouth opened and closed lamely as she searched for the words her eyebrows furrowed. 
“Having another one?”
The high-pitched and uncharacteristically nervous noise of agreement she emitted made Sebastian pause his efforts to adorn her shoulder with dark love bites which were now blooming like wild grapes. 
It was rare to see his wife nervous. Even rarer still for her mind to be elsewhere when it came to their marital relations. But he could understand her trepidation; it wasn’t as if either of their children had exactly been planned. 
Before either of them were born he often wondered if they should have been parents. Not a single guardian between them to cobble together any semblance of what a parent should be. A trail of lost souls he'd not been able to protect. 
Hazy memories of love weren't exactly a blueprint for success. 
So Sebastian packed those feelings away even before he'd let them fully bubble to the surface. Resigned perhaps to the fact that although she may have fallen in love with the rough-edged boy he’d been; she'd still bore witness to the worst of him. A dark unsightly stain on his soul he kept cloistered away but they both knew would never leave him. Or her.
And why would either of them want to burden a child with him as their father; or her with his last name? It did not do to dwell on something Sebastian never thought he’d be able to have.
Then one day their world shifted and as willfully unprepared as they’d been for it; so did they. 
Alice bloomed in the cracks of space in their lives they hadn’t known something had been missing. But perhaps had always left vacant and wanting for her. 
Sam, followed so shortly after. Alice - barely a year old when they’d realised three would quickly become four. 
By then, Sebastian had put to rest that gnawing anxiety that told him perhaps they should have never been parents. Fatherhood suited him. Soothed an old ache that had been throbbing since the passing of his own and now he wore it like a familiar coat. 
He allowed himself to bask in the elation of their growing family; in a way, he’d not been able to with Alice. Not only taking pride in his wife, who practically glowed more beautiful than he’d ever seen her; but pleasure in watching her stomach swell once again with his child. 
So much in fact, he lamented over the missed opportunity for what it would be like to take her with the sole intention of filling her with life. Could practically taste it every time he felt her unravelling on his cock. Dragged his feet at the apothecary when she asked him to purchase extra dandelion root for her monthly brew in the years that followed.
Already Sebastian could feel his blood rushing south at the thought. Inhaling sharply, calming his heart which was now thumping hard against his sternum as that familiar desire pooled. 
“I love our family. Alice and Sam, are plenty troublesome and we have our hands full as it is,” he began carefully.
Sebastian cupped her chin, shifting her soft gaze to his. The smile he wore, genuine if a little weak. What he said was true. Sebastian did not wish to burden her with making such a decision simply to satisfy his elicit fantasies. He would not begrudge her if she didn’t want another child after she’d given him so much - more than he’d ever let himself hope for. 
But she visibly deflated with his words. “Oh…so you wouldn't want another one?”
“No! I mean- not ‘ no’ . Merlin, it’s quite the opposite. In fact, I think I’ll always want more ,” Sebastian spluttered. Tongue tied and feeling the opportunity slipping through his fingers Sebastian took a breath to right himself. “Neither of us has much in the way of family outside of the one we made for ourselves - each child you give me is the greatest blessing I never thought I’d have. I’d love nothing more than to grow the family that we created.”
“I just want to know you're sure. You don't have to just because I want one.”
“There is nothing within my power that I would not give you. But, trust me love there are other  reasons it appeals to me.” 
“Oh?”
Hands glided down her spine grabbing the soft curve of her backside. Her eyes widened as he pulled her flush against his body where she could feel the growing bulge press against her stomach. Tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear, Sebastian ducked his head to nip gently at her earlobe before he whispered.
“Getting to fuck you purely with the intention of filling you with my seed. Watching you swell with another of my children. Breeding you. ” His voice, a low rumble reverberating from deep in his chest. Domineering. Predatory. Every point his body was pressed against hers felt like a fire that ignited a desire that lay dormant inside him. Desperate to claw its way out. Claim her as his - again . "Wearing the evidence under those pretty dresses of yours for everyone to see. So they know exactly what you let me do to you. Who you belong to.”
A visible shiver ran down her spine. Goosebumps prickling across her skin at the filth of his words. Feeling pressed hard against her stomach exactly how much the idea appealed to him. 
“Sebastian-”
“Tell me you want it and it’s yours,” he murmured huskily against her neck. Nipping at that spot below her jaw he knew made her knees buckle. 
His little witch had never been the obedient sort, as wild and stubborn as a poorly bottled lightning. But after all these years together - Sebastian knew exactly which buttons to push. How to make her laugh so hard her cheeks ached from smiling; a sound so perfect it washed his worries away like a tide. The ones that made rage; burn so fiercely he was reminded she was barely a witch at all but a dragon merely playing at domesticity. 
Most favourably to Sebastian were the ones that turned every rational coherent thought in her head into a blinding fog of lust.
He trailed kisses across her skin, her pulse quickening under the tender brush of his lips. An eager whine slipped from her throat. Hips pushing against his in search of friction to soothe the heat pooling in her abdomen.
“Yes- fuck. Please, I want that. Another baby. Your baby.”
The choked sound that clawed its way out of Sebastian’s throat sounded far from anything human. Somewhere between a groan and a growl. 
Wasting not a second longer he grasped her hips lifting her swiftly as if she weighed nothing at all. Thighs wrapped tightly around his hips as she moulded into him. Heat radiated from her core barely concealed behind the thin fabric of her undergarment. 
Fingers tangling in his hair, she pulled his lips forcefully to hers. Kissing him greedily. Tongue delved between his parted lips as if he were the air she breathed. 
From the way she ground her hips insistently, his wife cared little if it drove him to distraction; she knew there was no way Sebastian would let her fall. 
Carrying her over to the bed to practically launch her down onto the mattress. Hooded eyes, devoured every inch of her husband standing above her. Her dress dishevelled had ridden up to expose the tops of her thighs which squeezed together in anticipation. Sebastian palmed his hard length through biting hard on his lip to stifle a moan.
Her nimble fingers came quickly to fumble with the buttons of her dress. Sebastian batted her hand away with a grunt to tear into them himself. His mouth trailed kisses further down her body with every inch he exposed.
Stopping as in his journey towards her core to pay particular attention to the soft curve of her belly. She whined under every press of his lips against her stomach squirming impatiently under Sebastian with the need for him to fill the womb he worshipped so reverently. 
Sebastian pulled her hips sharply towards the edge of their bed dropping to his knees between her spread legs. Folds already glistening with unrestrained desire. Sebastian ran the tip of his nose through the sparse hairs. The heat of his breath teased against her growing slick. Shivering with anticipation her hips bucked craving - no, needing Sebastian to provide relief to the ache between her legs. 
“Sebastian - please,” she whined. 
“Impatient,” he scolded. Despite his own clothed erection strained against his trousers twitching desperate to be buried inside his wife’s impossibly tight core. But to Sebastian there no more perfect sight than her laid out before him. Bare, flushed and eyes darkened with desire. A nymph from some Greek tragedy he hadn’t tamed; rather merely a disciple come to worship at her altar. “Such a good girl. Already so wet for me.”
Her fingers tangled harshly in his hair hips bucking as Sebastian at last ended her torment. Licking a broad stripe with the flat of his tongue across her weeping entrance. Her head fell back in a broken whine finally relieving her from her torture. Sebastian released a  groan of his own against her folds, lapping more needly at the growing slick. Savouring every drop she offered him. A man lost in a desert and her his bountiful oasis.
He knew her body better than he knew his own. Chasing her keening mewls a wordless plea for more, pleasure only he could offer her as he flicked and curled his tongue against the hooded bundle of nerves. Releasing his grip on her hip to slide his fingers into her tight heat. Savouring how her fluttering walls gripped him as he worked her open with every pump and curl of his fingers.
Her back arched, legs shaking the cool satin sheets scrunched in her fists as she writhed in ecstasy. Clinging desperately to them a last bastion of as she teetered on the edge of oblivion.
He chanced a glance up at her, mouth still servicing her fervently. Their eyes locked her voice caught on a silent plea for release. Sebastian sucked. Devouring her quivering clit and she broke. 
Screaming curses and praise to forgotten deities her body jerking to grind frantically against his tongue. Sebastian’s hips rutted forward into nothingness as her body clenching around his fingers as he brought her to climax. His own need growing almost unbearable as he felt her dissolved into pleasure needing to feel that pulsing release around his cock not just his fingers. 
His patience was now paper thin, he needed to be inside of her and from the way her fingers tugged at his chestnut hair impatiently as her orgasm ebbed - she seemed to agree. 
Bed springs creaked as he crawled onto the bed beside her. He slid his hands along the dip of her waist gripping her soft flesh to flip her onto her stomach. 
She peering back at him from over her shoulder. Her lips were swollen, her hair in a wild tangle but her eyes burning into him as if she could set him alight - daring him to take her as she arched her hips up and back towards Sebastian. 
Gripping her side he bared down on her. Large body resting heavily against her back she curled up into him sighing contentedly at the feeling of his weight resting against her.
How many wizards had coveted her affection since their school days? Cursed the very ground Sebastian walked on because since the day she’d become his. His cock achingly hard grinding against her arse at the mere thought of her wearing the reminder to them all exactly who she belonged to under her dress. 
He scrambled with the buttons on his breeches before pulling them off entirely cock springing free arching proudly and achingly hard. Slit glistening in anticipation that coil inside of him already tightly wound at the mere thought of filling her.
"Going to fuck even more of my kids into you," he purred low in her ear as he settled himself between her legs dragging the head of his cock through her spit-slicked folds. Their nerves practically vibrating with carnal anticipation. 
She cried out, broken and rasping as Sebastian finally pressed into her with a strong deliberate thrust. Stretching her open inch by inch groaning low, his head falling against her back when he buried himself inside her to the hilt. The sheen of sweat coating her back salty on his tongue as he mouthed brainlessly at her bare flesh. 
“Fuck,” she hissed as Sebastian began to cant his hips in deep maddening strokes. He hadn't expected such a lustful fog to overcome him. Like some primitive part of his brain had overcome him and now he was entirely consumed with the thought of her. Filling her with seed.
His eyes flicked up catching their reflection in the mirror. Sebastian groaned her name as he watched himself pounding into her relentlessly. Tiny body nestled under his own her spine curved in pleasure but her face was buried in the sheets. Stifling the delicious sounds of ecstasy she only made for him into the mattress. 
Sebastian grunted in annoyance. Snapping his hips harder she only seemed to bit down harder on the sheets.
He didn’t just want her to feel him filling her with life; he wanted her to bear witness to it.
Tucking his arm around her waist he hauled her up flush against his body. Her yelp of surprise dissolving into a moan as the new angle had her sinking deeper onto his cock. Her back pressed against his chest she rolled her hips, eyelashes fluttering as his crown teased against her sweet spot. Sebastian curled a possessive hand around her throat to keep her upright. The other kneaded her breast, rolling the pert peak between his fingertips. 
Despite the utterly filthy position in which he took her. Sebastian’s hands were gentle, large arms cradling her body. He whispered sweet reverent praise and encouragement into her ear with every roll of her as she sought her pleasure.
“Look at you,” he whispered. Pressing a kiss to her temple coaxing her to look and witness how fucking perfect she was. Her eyes cracked open, gaze settling on the mirror in the corner of the room. Sebastian's reflection grinned at her. She blushed deeply at the sight but she made no move to cover herself. Eyes devouring the sight of her bare, legs spread wide and impaled on Sebastian's cock. 
“Fucking look at you.” He punctuated the statement with a sharp buck of his hips into her cunt.  
She whined desperately with every deep maddening thrust. She leaned back further into his embrace, head tipped back in a wanton moan but she didn't tear her eyes away. As if wishing to burn this moment into her mind. Cunt fluttering greedily around his cock, coaxing more slick onto his shaft. 
“Fuck- you're taking me so well. Do you- fuck. Feel how deep I am inside you?” Sebastian groaned at the slight swell of her stomach. He released her breast hand ghosting down the planes of her stomach. “I can feel you clenching around me - fuck . Feel where I'm going to fill you. Where you'll grow our child.”
He barely recognised the cadence of his voice, low gravelly more akin to a growl than anything human. He pressed a little harder onto her stomach. Feeling the head of his cock against his palm, he groaned. Forehead fell against the crook of her neck pumping into his palm as he ground into her with deep thrusts. Gently teasing his thumb over the blunt head through her soft stomach. 
She whined readily, shivering with pleasure sinking deeper onto his cock with every needy roll of her hips. Blood pounding in his ears Sebastian could feel the pressure mounting. He released his hold on her throat, taking hold of her hips so hard he knew even if his seed did not take her skin would still wear the marks for days.
Leaning back so she could rest against him, his toes curling in the sheets as he found purchase to thrust into her frantic. Her arm wrapped around his neck keening and whimpering with every strong thrust. 
“Please Seb- fuck. I need,” she rasped. Too deliriously close to the edge to tell him what she needed. What they both craved so desperately. 
“Tell me what you want, darling,” he grunted. Peppering kisses behind her ear, along the curve of her jaw. “Do you want me to come deep inside you? Breed you? Make you mine again?”
“Yes. Gods. Yes!”
“Tell- tell me,” he grunted. Clutching her hips to pound up into her brutally. The coil inside of him tightened, feeling his release rushing in. Visions narrowing and cock twitching eagerly. “Tell me how much you want it.”
“I-I want your seed. Your baby. You. Please, Seb- fuck,” she cried out. 
Deft fingers found her clit. Still so sensitive from how he’d already made her quake. Sebastian circled the swollen nub and her head tipped back in a husky moan. Grinding her hips against him, Glistening with a thin sheen of sweat everywhere their bodies were intertwined. 
“You're going to look so perfect. So bloody beautiful carrying our child. My child.”
She gasped as that familiar feeling pooled in her core. “Fuck- Seb please. I'm close.” 
“Fuck I can feel you. So tight - around my cock. Let go for me, my love. And I will ah - for you,” Sebastian groaned into the shell of her ear. 
Despite his vision blurring as Sebastian teetered so close to the edge of nirvana, he couldn't tear his eyes from their reflection. He doubted there was a more mesmerising and all-consuming sight than watching her come completely undone. Head tipped back all words stolen by how expertly he fucked her so a tune to her body. Beads of sweat clung to every curve and dip on her. 
Shimmering. Beautiful. His .
Teasing faster circles over her still-swollen clit. Bucking into her hard and faster. Biting down on his lip so hard he tasted the metallic tang of blood on his tongue as he desperately held back his release. A final uneven snap of his hips burying his cock deep inside her climax broke. 
She cried out suddenly; a clap of thunder announcing a storm. Like the heavens split apart and she submitted to drown in the waves of her pleasure. Nails clawing against his shoulder. Cunt tightened and spasmed as she sucked him in impossibly deeper as Sebastian followed her. Pulling her hips down as her came hard. 
Her name and filthy praise erupted from his lips in a sound he could only liken to a primal whine. Spilling his seed hot and purposeful into the deepest part of her channel. Grinding against her arse, Sebastian milked every last drop from his pulsing cock. 
Willing it to take root. 
Her body slumped against him boneless but every nerve alight and still shivering from the last throws of pleasure as her orgasm ebbed. Rasping in broken pants as she tried to recapture her stolen breath.
He kissed her cheek, tender, lovingly and with as much gentleness as Sebastian could muster with how he practically rattled with how hard his heart was hammering against his ribs; he shifted strong arms guiding her onto her side. Cock still sheathed inside of her. Unwilling to remove himself from her his mind still overcome and entirely consumed with the need to fill her with life.
Sebastian pushed his release deeper inside her with shallow thrusts. She whimpered hips bucking away from the overstimulation of the motion. He peppered soft apologetic kisses across the small bruises beginning to bloom around her throat wrapping his arms around her and cradling her body to him tighter. But Sebastian held firm. Hand pressing against her stomach a silent prayer. Willing his seed to take. 
"I love you. You're going to look so beautiful. Full of my baby," he cooed, with a languid roll of his hips. Tucking her a sweaty lock of tangled hair behind her ear. She sighed, angling her face to meet his gaze. Dishevelled. Swollen lipped. Beautiful. Her soft crooked and familiar yet it still takes his breath away. 
He'd once thought the greatest thing he could do was burn the world for her. But now he knew - It was to build one. 
A life. A legacy. One that they forged and fought for together. Everything, as long as it was with her. 
Despite his efforts to keep her full of him, he could already feel it leaking out around his shaft, hot and slick, coating her thighs. The crown of his cock dragged over her sweet spot before pushing his further in. “In fact - why stop at one this time? Twins do run in my family.”
“I don't think that's how it works-” she stuttered. But her core clenched greedily around his cock. Still stiff and firmly inside of her, it twitched with approval. 
“Care to test the theory?”
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armageddidnt · 1 year
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Welcome to My Collection of Random Thoughts during my nth* rewatch of Good Omens Season 2
*only amazon prime knows the exact number at this point but I’m fairly certain it’s in the double digits
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Episode 1: Gabriel’s fly lurking in the box when Aziraphale first takes it inside 👀
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Crowley’s promise of “two minutes” basically means that he’s been homeless and living in his car for the past 4 years strictly so that he can be within 2 driving minutes of Aziraphale at all times in case his angel needs him I’m not crying you are
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So here I think the key word is “fragile,” Crowley knows they are ostensibly safe from their respective sides but that could change at any moment so he’s basically spent the last 4 years in anxiety-ridden terror hovering as close to Aziraphale as he can to try and protect him from heaven, hell, and anyone else that would want to bring him harm after all that business they pulled in season 1 with stopping Armageddon
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Episode 2: I just happened to pause the episode while Aziraphale is lying to the angels about his miracle and LOL Michael really outdid himself here (Sheen, not the Archangel)
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Gabriel trying to swat flies and almost smashing the repository of every single one of his memories
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I’m cAckling
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So if Good Omens exists in Good Omens, does that mean Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett exist in Good Omens?? Do you think they based their Aziraphale and Crowley characters on Aziraphale and Crowley??
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Episode 3: So I’m trying to find any hints or foreshadowing of the Gabriel Beelzebub thing bc tbh I did kind of feel like it came out of nowhere which is really the only issue I have with them. I found this one scene where Beelzebub almost ?? seems to be concerned about Gabriel ?? But it’s blink and you miss it and there could be lots of other reasons why Beelzebub doesn’t want to fail in locating Gabriel (pressure from/leverage over heaven, etc) so idk
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More Foreshadowing Fly content 🪰
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Episode 4: So here we’ve seen that Shax can just appear inside the Bentley bc she did it earlier to talk to Crowley. Shax only pretended to be a hitchhiker so she could be invited in because Azirpahale was driving so technically she needed permission to cross the threshold of an angel 👀
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This scene will never not destroy me the 1941 flashback is the absolute sOFTEST thing ever to happen on this show
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We really need more context here I need to see the Crowley-Furfur Monkey Rides
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Episode 5: ahahaha thank you google translate for absolutely destroying my sanity this evening
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POP goes the Ziraphale
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Okay I know you can’t hear it in the gif but just before Nina takes Maggie’s hand, there’s a very quiet miracle noise, like Azirpahale literally MADE Nina dance with Maggie, he said I’m writing a Mina Jane-Austen-Ball-AU and my otp will KISS godDAMMIT
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Azirpahale seems lowkey kind of manic this whole scene tho, he’s controlling literally everyone to force Nina and Maggie together and whenever Crowley says anything that pokes holes in Aziraphale’s Magical Jane Austen Ball Fairytale, Aziraphale just straight up denies it. He wants Nina and Maggie to dance and he wants him and Crowley to dance and he refuses to acknowledge anything beyond that.
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Is this just Shax insulting Crowley for how much of a nuisance he’s been or a reference to his former status as an angel ???
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They’re both completely dismissive of each other when they’re trying to say something important and that’s the main issue they’ve been having this entire season tbh
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Episode 6: I think it’s funny that Crowley describes the angels as bees here because in the book, Neil/Terry describe humans the same way. Guess we have more in common than we thought huh?
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So the metatron was the one who originally decided Gabriel would be memory wiped and not sent to hell, and he was also the one that decided not to sound an alarm about Gabriel for some reason and said ‘just go find him yourself’ instead. The metatron has definitely got his own agenda and you can bet he doesn’t want Aziraphale up there in heaven because he’s a “leader” and he’s “honest” like that’s exactly what Gabriel was and look where it got him 👀
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There’s just something I can’t quite put my finger on about the metatron bringing Aziraphale a coffee from “give me coffee or give me death” and then asking Aziraphale if he’s going to take the coffee he’s giving him…
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I have not seen a single person talk about this since s2 came out but Nina literally calls Maggie “angel” because that’s the term of endearment they hear Crowley using for Aziraphale !!!! I’m still going fERAL over this and I can’t believe no one else is eitHER
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Something about this part of The Final Fifteen compared to this scene from the first episode is so representative of the entire season. Azirpahale keeps saying “my way or get out” and Crowley finally hits a wall and can follow Aziraphale no further. So he does just that. He goes.
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I’m sure a lot of us by now have seen this post that brings up how Aziraphale literally pushes the remains of Crowley into his mouth and swallows and it’s the only thing I see when I watch this now
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We still don’t know for certain if Crowley queued up this song to play on their way to the Ritz or if the Bentley started playing it all on its own and it’s driving me insane
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Basically how I am doing after my Truly-Alarming-Number-th watch of this traumatizing episode/season. WELP hope you enjoyed this garbage dump of my thoughts and feelings time to go cry for a bit again BYE
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jessamine-rose · 19 days
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.˚₊‧໒❀˚‧ Laurestine ‧˚❀༉‧₊˚.
Read my Yandere! Capitano fics first ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
Herbarium ๑ Fairytale ๑ Forget-Me-Not ๑ Astilbe ๑ Artifact Set ๑ Viparyas
Aahh I can’t believe it’s been two years since I wrote my Yandere! Capitano x Damsel! Darling longfic!! This epilogue has been in my drafts for nearly as long, and I figured now would be a good time to revisit my favorite fairytale <3
Synopsis:: “While the Captain carries out his mission in Natlan, how does he protect his darling from afar? Her guard is here to provide the details.”
Tw:: yandere, Stockholm Syndrome, invasion of privacy, implied abuse from darling’s backstory, MINORS DNI
Note:: Female reader described as physically weak and smaller than Capitano
♡ 1k words under the cut ♡
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Sender: Sergeant C. Naiad
Note: CONFIDENTIAL
My lord,
At the time I am writing this report, it has been eight days since your departure for Natlan.
Your wife is in good health. She rarely speaks to me and the new live-in servants, though she seems to have fully adjusted to our presence.
Below is a record of her daily routine. There may be slight variations depending on her energy levels and emotional state. But for the most part, Lady ______ adheres to this personal schedule.
-
7:00 - Lady ______ wakes up.
7:10 - Bathtime.
7:30 - Lady ______ leaves the bedroom.
7:35 - Breakfast.
8:00 - Lady ______ strolls around the woods, escorted. Occasionally picks flowers.
8:30 - Lady ______ preserves new flowers (if any) and checks on the other flowers in her collection.
9:00 - Lady ______ begins reading her first book of the day.*
12:00 - Lunch.
12:30 - Lady ______ continues reading.
15:00 - Lady ______ finishes her first book and arranges it in her personal library.
15:30 - Lady ______ begins reading her second book of the day.
18:45 - Bathtime.
19:00 - Dinner.
19:30 - Lady ______ continues reading.
20:00 - Lady ______ finishes her second book or stays up late to finish reading it.
20:15 - Lady ______ makes her request for breakfast the next day and goes to the bedroom.
20:30 - Bedtime.
*Depending on the length or contents of the story, Lady ______ may devote a full day to a single book. Other times, she chooses to instead rest in the bedroom, cook her own meals, or learn the Snezhnayan language through her textbooks and my assistance.
Regarding the last activity, her pronunciation is improving.
✿ ⚘
My lord,
Today, Lady ______ read Records of Jueyun Vol. 2.
Based on her expressions, she seemed particularly fond of this story. The day prior, she also expressed interest in continuing Fables de Fontaine and Tales from the Waves.
Once you give your approval, I will place an order for the remaining volumes of all three book collections.
✿ ⚘
My lord,
We have received the garments commissioned for your wife. She seemed pleased with your gift, even going so far as to change into one of the dresses. Specifically, it was the lavender corset gown with off-shoulder puff sleeves.
Later, I overheard the staff praising her—a common topic of discussion, if I may add. This time, their compliments revolved around her physical appearance and your love for one another. Aside from this, they continue to serve her with utmost devotion.
Attached is a candid photograph of Lady ______ in the aforementioned gown.
✿ ⚘
My lord,
During my morning rounds, I discovered a Cryo Whopperflower two yards north of your residence. It was immediately eliminated, and I dispatched agents to eliminate any remaining monsters within the woods.
I have Private Hercyna’s confirmation that your estate has been purged of all potential dangers to Lady ______. She continues to enjoy her morning strolls.
✿ ⚘
My lord,
Lady ______ has reorganized her personal library. The servants offered their help, but she insisted on lifting the books and climbing the ladder by herself. Nonetheless, I remained by her side in case of an accident.
Afterwards, she reread Heart of Clear Springs. She then requested a shipment of Dandelion Wine and ingredients native to Mondstadt.
✿ ⚘
My lord,
I have a serious matter to discuss with you.
This afternoon, your wife requested a cup of Love Poem tea. It was served in the living room, and the maid tripped while holding the tray.
I was able to keep the hot tea from splashing all over Lady ______, but she was visibly shaken. Even after I confirmed that neither of us had been scalded, she went upstairs and spent the rest of the day in her bedroom. She explicitly ordered a cold beverage for dinner.
I can only imagine the traumatic memories that resurfaced, based on the personal information you have disclosed to me.
From what I saw, it was purely an accident though that does not excuse Lady ______’s distress. I also had the tea checked for any poisons that could be absorbed through the skin.
Attached is the personal file of the offender. Their punishment is at your discretion.
Rest assured, there will be no repeat of this incident.
✿ ⚘
My lord,
Lady ______ has received your package from Natlan.
The flowers arrived in perfect condition. She spent the most time admiring the Brilliant Chrysanthemums.
She cried while reading your letter.
✿ ⚘
My lord,
Lady ______ finished preserving her previous batch of flowers.
I was also told that she needs a new notebook for her collection, as her current notebook only has a few blank pages left.
She suggested a trip to the local bookstore upon your return.
✿ ⚘
My lord,
At the time I am writing this report, Lady ______’s letter should be en route to Natlan, along with the flowers she preserved for you.
After she gave me the sealed envelope, I checked the trashcan and noticed a crumpled sheet of stationery.
Given the circumstances, I chose not to read it. Instead, I have enclosed the stationery in my report, so that you may be the one to check if there are any secret codes or messages.
-
I hope you like the laurestine. I think it turned out better than the other flowers.
After your mission, what do you want to do? We haven’t traveled to Fontaine yet. The  botanical gardens should be in bloom next season. Or if you want, we can just stay at home. I’m fine with anything.
Please take care of yourself. And tell me if the mission has to be extended.
I miss you.
Read Artifact Set for Capitano’s letter <3
Aahhh I still can’t believe we’ve finally made it to Capitano’s in-game debut. So much has happened since A Winter Night’s Lazzo, and I can’t wait to write more Capitano x Damsel once his lore is available (((o(*゚▽゚*)o)))♡
Lastly, I just want to give a shoutout to my beta-reader @diodellet, my mutuals (you know who you are), and my readers!! I rlly appreciate your presence over the years, and thank you for enjoying my work :’>
Tag a Capitano enjoyer!! @leftdestiny-posts @brynn-lear @harmonysanreads @euniveve @naraven @ainescribe @mochinon-yah @navxry @euniveve @bye-bye-sunbird @yandere-romanticaa @lucidasara @dulcetailurophile @melody3cherryblossom @avryxlle @lumincryo @pinkislost @tylerxrbtwhp @whispereons @tamikahoshiko
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yandere-wishes · 7 months
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🌟Yandere!Superstar Who's the most sought-after man alive. He's renowned for his singing and the fastest up-and-coming actor of the century. 
🌟Yandere!Superstar Who's drawn to your innocence, your purity. A precious little star trapped in an endless ebony night. You shine so brightly as you sip on your Coca-Cola at the diner. Laughing away with your girlfriends. How simple and idle your life is, you have no need to keep up appearances or overdose yourself to keep sane. You're just so sweet, wrapped in a frilly pink blanket of simplicity. 
He envies you, truly he does...
🌟Yandere!Superstar who asks you out on a date in front of everyone. Who serenades you with one of his love songs, daring anyone to object. Takes you to the movies for your first date. Rambling excitedly about the new superhero flick that's just come out. He's all so pleasantly shocked when he finds out you also like comic book heroes. How he wishes he was really Superman, able to whisk you away to a hidden sanctuary in the snow. You get milkshakes after and he thinks he might be high off your laughter.
🌟Yandere!Superstar Who asks your father for your hand in marriage. Practically begs him. He'll do anything to keep you by his side. Anything to make you his. For the first time in your life, you detect fear in your father's voice as he agrees.
🌟Yandere!Superstar Who leaves you in his big mansion. Providing you with every luxury you could ever hope for. He even buys you a little furred companion to keep you company. He's off shooting a new movie and calls you every chance he gets. Your phone calls last for hours gossiping about his costars and the tyrannical new director.
🌟Yandere!Superstar who forbids you from going anywhere. Why would you ever want to leave the estate? From the swimming pool to the large exotic garden. There's literally no reason for you to ever step outside. Plus he needs you to be there when he calls, give him your full attention even when he's not physically present. 
🌟Yandere!Superstar who has his whole staff looking after you. Anything you crave it's served to you, and anything you want it's in your hands within the hour. He makes sure everyone treats you with utmost respect, better than any fairytale princess. It's such a shame he doesn't realize how isolated you feel, how depressed and lonely you are. Or maybe he does. Maybe it's all a ploy to make you crave his touch, his kisses, him. He needs you broken and needy by the time he gets back. 
🌟Yandere!Superstar who has morphed you into his perfect little doll. His darling pet. He dictates everything for you, from the makeup you wear to the color scheme of your outfits. Only the finest silks and jewels have the honor of gracing his baby's skin. Even your nightgowns are hand-picked by him. Don't you always want to look your best for your king?
🌟Yandere!Superstar, who starts taking you on the road with him when he's doing his tours. He can't stand having you so far away anymore. From now on, you'll always be by his side. 
🌟Yandere! Superstar who kisses you between shows. Needing to feel your body under him, to build up the ecstasy to perform. Locking you away in hotel suites close enough for him to always have access to. You're his drug. The dose that keeps him going. 
🌟Yandere!Superstar who's started keeping you in his trailer while he films. Making sure you know he's not cheating with any of his costars. Filling his trailer with things for you to do and making out with you every chance he gets between sets. He'll make sure you look your best for him. His babydoll. How could you ever think he'd be interested in anyone else?
🌟Yandere!Superstar who makes you straddle him or sit on his lap in every picture. He dresses you in the latest trends, while he wears his handmade suits. The world needs to know just who you belong to.  
🌟Yandere! Superstar Who forces you to help him with every song he writes just so you know they're all about you. Only you. He needs you to feel his devotion in your bones. To realize every note he hits is just for you. 
🌟Yandere! Superstar who will never ever let you go...
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tuherrus · 23 days
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the girl and death 🕯️
this is another one of anni swan's fairytales, and tells the story of liisa, a little girl who returns home from dancing only to find that a dark figure is leaving from her home and has taken her sick mother's soul, carrying it contained within a lantern
i haven't been able to find much of this story online and not at all in english, but i have it in a book so i'll summarize it really shortly under the cut!
liisa chases after this figure through a dark forest, even throwing her dancing shoes away to run faster, and finds herself at the gates of tuonela/the underworld where an old woman guarding the gates tells her that once the figure reaches the river, her mother will be gone forever (and that she should let her go)
certain that her mother wouldn't have left her and her siblings the way she did, liisa pushes the woman aside and snatches the lantern just in time from the dark figure
she rushes back home, though the journey has taken a toll on her and she faints at her home's doorstep....in the end she wakes up to the news that her mother has miraculously recovered
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hoseoksluna · 8 months
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STORY | knj
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pairing: soft dom!namjoon x reader
genre: smut
word count: 7.8k
summary: yours and namjoon’s story is a bit more perverted than traditional.
warnings: serious big dick namjoon, rough touches, hair pulling, use of pet names and titles, dom/sub dynamics, horny namjoon can't help but palm himself:(, desperation, masturbation, spanking, praising, tit slapping, nipple play, teasing, oc and namjoon not being comfortable with certain practices, playful orgasm denial, oral sex (m. and f. receiving), rimming && ass play :3, cum eating yum yum, tit fucking, orgasm countdown fuck
note: smut is so fucking difficult to write but i loved every second of it. i love writing about namjoon, he just makes me feel so safe. this is purely my fantasy with him and i'll probably dream about this for a long, long time. please, take your time reading this as it's pretty long. i hope you enjoy it and that it makes you dream like it made me dream. as always, let me know what you think in the comments, like the post and if you want to—reblog, but i won't pressure you angels <3. love you guys so much, thank you for all the love. kisses!
side note: i miss namjoon and i wish he were here. all i can do is watch his lives and pretend he never left for the military.
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Namjoon makes himself comfortable on the wooden chair before you.
The scene is set. Like a mermaid bathing in the sun, you rest your elbows on the cold rim of the ivory bathtub. Small surges of violet-tinted water, perfumed with your scent, blanket your body in a thin layer of glittery sheen. They kiss the tiger stripes along the curve of your bottom as it rolls over, passing by the dip in the small of your waist, breathing in your patchouli fragrance in greeting. The bath bomb, cornered by your knees, sizzles and spins, the width of the tub allowing your form to float like a little fish in the open sea as copiously as you please.
A gift from your loving boyfriend. Both the clawfoot, and the bath bomb.
The scene expands. Your Eric slouches in his seat, balancing his greatest and most stellar possession on top of his lap with one hand while he runs the other through his silver mane. He fits perfectly in the picturesqueness of the background. Soft orange and chocolate tiles zig zag behind his back, transposing him momentarily into a sunlit illustration, where he rests in the shade of a palm tree on a faraway beach. Reads the book to pass the time as he waits for you to emerge from the waters. Sets it down on his lap as soon as his gaze catches yours. Periwinkle clams for a bra, panties thin and translucent from the oncoming waves, you rest your front on the sand. He smiles down at you and you know for a fact you won’t be able to get on your feet. Might have to learn how to walk, too.
You keep this picture in your heart. Mentally, you rip out the page. Fold it and tuck it somewhere within you to keep it safe.
Legs outstretched by the sides of the tub, clad in slacks in the muted color of a persimmon, it’s almost as though you’re propped on his lap. Sporting a simple white button-down, sleeves rolled, you’re close enough to touch the material if you so much as wished so. From his angle, Namjoon sees nothing but the roundness of your eyes through the brownish rims of his glasses, hair unkempt in their dampness as the short paper thin layers frame your flushed face in such a celestial way. If he were to lean over, it’d be a different kind of book.
The one in the clasp of his hand isn’t a tale as old as time.
It’s one of your favorites. An existential story that ridicules the traditional. A transfusion of liveness to a certain forgotten room of your heart. The unlit one while the others brim with sunlight, with the golden sepia projection of the contents of the fairytales you love so much made into stop motion. A coloring book of some sort, hues fitting into the lines by your helping hand—the attention of your eyes. 
Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. The book that sweeps away all those cobwebs in that chamber. Makes it less lonely.
It’s all you had talked about on your dates when you and Namjoon first started dating, having been reading it at the time. You had confided in him that the writer was the only person who understood you without ever learning your name, without familiarizing himself with the subtleties of your calamitous life.
No one has ever shared something so vulnerable with him, especially not on the first date. Not that he’d gone on many, but the few that fell into his grasp were hell to get through. Insufferable, to say the least. Absolutely superficial.
He went home in the rain thinking of you. Not for boyish reasons. But for reasons of literary character, of melancholy nature that squeezed his long-unexpressed heart in perpetuating intervals too consistent for his liking. Filled it with a nectar bubbling with a newly blooming love for books, with a sudden longing to be found within the words. His body decided for him that it was yours. Yours to teach again how to read between the lines.
The scene breaks out of the margins on the page.
“Is the water warm enough?”
The idea constructed by his own geniality, it’s by his will that you’re basking in your bare femininity before his eyes. Idleness lingered in the living room between the pair of you, the flimsy curtain by your balcony lifting and falling in a little dance as the cold air perfused the place with the drowsiness of winter. Pulling his eyes away from the TV to sink a soft kiss into your hair, Namjoon muttered into your ear: “How about I draw you a bath and read to you for a little bit?”
You said nothing. The click of your phone turning off and your hasty movements to untangle yourself from the warmth of his limbs answered him for you. Leaving your clothes as a trail for him to follow, you gave him a glimpse of your ass, arched and pointed in the draft before you ran away. Before he scolded you with his index finger like a father, raising to his feet to close the balcony door.
In two seconds he joined you in the bathroom. Leaned against the doorframe as you circled a pink roll-on lip oil you’ve been obsessed with lately around the perimeters of your lips. The one that makes them look bigger, juicier. That makes them more fun to kiss and toy with. The one that leaves his length sticky once playtime is over. You seem to cast aside little trinkets of yourself for him to collect everywhere you go.
Tits pushed towards each other while you slightly bent over the vanity sink, tapping the excess into the fullness of your mouth, Namjoon palmed himself. The tiredness from work earlier weakened his self-control to the point of unrestrained indulgence. And the plumpness of your ass just encouraged it.
You fluffed your hair and Namjoon ran the bath. Disappeared into the kitchen for a moment to retrieve the purple bath bomb from the plastic bag on the counter, one that he got from the convenience store for you. Dragon fruit and hibiscus. Thought of the twinkle that would sparkle beneath your lashes upon seeing it. Wasn’t disappointed when you exceeded his expectations.
Having seen it in the mirror, almost microscopic and round in his big palm, you turned on your heel and burst into giddiness as he took off the plastic packaging with his teeth. You pouted in gratefulness when he showed it to you. 
“You planned this, didn’t you?”
You hugged him, locking your hands behind the nape of his neck. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, and he told you so. A bit hoarsely, though.
Namjoon struggled not to moan. Groaned a little when he felt the curvature of your belly against his hardness and the pointed nubs of your tits beneath his pecs. Managed to conceal it, thankfully, by clearing his throat and by allowing an authentic grin to bloom on his dimpled face at your joy. Thanked the heavens for all the bath bombs in the world.
He placed it in your much smaller palm for you to plop it into the increasing water. Watched your eyes widen at the gilded glitter spreading around. Spurred you to get in. Held your hand as you lifted one limb, then the other. Knelt by you as you engulfed yourself in the violet tinge, your hair swirling around you, silky and ethereal, coming to a stop at the top of your head to fix a splendid crown for such a princess like yourself.
Namjoon turned off the tap while you rested your back against the curved wall of the tub. You swooshed your hands around, gathering the glitter into the fine lines of your palms. Looked up at him in elation, the twinkle doing its thing in the glossiness of your eyes, and smiled. Namjoon smiled back at you. His hand reached out to your chest in a fervent need to touch you. The glitter adorned your chest with its perfect speckles and they resurfaced when you arched your back in response. Clung to his palm in the middle of your tits, held on tighter as he took a detour to your chin by brushing across your sensitive nipple to hear your little mewls because if he made a sound, then you must, too. Because if he was horny, he must get you on the same page as well. Fairness is very important to Namjoon.
He squeezed your breast hard. Pinched your nipple between his thumb and the knuckle of his index finger in broken intervals, similar to little dashed lines of Morse code. You imagined he was telling you something through that secret language as you closed your eyes during an intense wave of pleasure coursing down your body, and perhaps he truly did because he pulled your legs apart harshly when you pressed them together. Punished you by lightly slapping your tit—the same one he abused with those firm touches—the force splashing you in the face with violet pearls. All as if you disobeyed the command he transmitted wordlessly.
The command possibly being: Only I will give you the release you need when I decide it’s time.
You bit your bottom lip to suppress the neediness erupting in you. Namjoon wrapped his hand around your throat and you dragged his rolled sleeve further up his arm, so it wouldn’t have gotten soaked in the water. He smeared your lip oil just because he wanted—just because he could, scattering the rosy tint around your mouth messily. He took advantage of the aftermath of his punishment and collected those tender beads, now translucent upon your carmine skin. Not with the thumb as you expected him to, but using the pillows of his lips, he kissed the round bulb on your cheek. It melted on the puffy surface when he withdrew. He looked you in the eye for a mere beat of time before he lowered to your other cheek to collect another trinket. None of the corners of your mouth were overlooked, not even the button of your nose. He peppered those kisses to erase the harshness of his selfishness, supporting your lifted chin with his long thumb beneath it, still sticky from the consistency of the lip oil, apologizing, smoothing down his sternness until you giggled.
Once he cleaned you, Namjoon returned the digit to your smudged mouth, delicious in his sight due to the essence of sloppiness that gets his length even harder in his pants. He presses the pad against it, already craving your tongue. You kissed it, a thank you for his softness, before you granted him the access. Tongue toying with the tip, you said hello in the mother language of the love stored in your bodies for each other. Wrapped both of your hands around his wrist. Didn’t break eye contact. Smiled, teeth showing happily, when he bit his lip, but soon got distracted by a small movement on his groin area out of your view.
You peeled your back off of the tub to curiously take a peek, but Namjoon pushed you back to your place. All while his thumb remained sucked by your mouth. You frowned at him, dismayed by his recurring roughness that you weren’t used to.
Namjoon tapped your cheek twice with his fingers to let you know it was enough and rose to his feet.
“Joon, what’s going on? Why are you so rough with me?” you asked, voice tender, the question shooting arrows into the wideness of his back.
Stopping in the doorway, he hung his head, fingers coming to intertwine with the short hair above his neck. “I’m sorry, baby. Let me get the book.”
A moment later, he returned with the stellar possession in one hand and a wooden chair in the other. He slumped against it, fingers finding the first chapter unwittingly.
You swam forward as if to the shore, propping your elbows on the rim to be closer to him.
“Is the water warm enough?”
You nod, your teeth picking at the excess skin on your lips. Namjoon notices and, as if registering the reason why you put on the lip oil in the first place, he leans towards you and rubs away the smudginess he caused. As if the walk into your dining room sobered him enough from the dark wine of his lust that he now regretted his actions.
“You really scared me when you were rough,” you said calmly, unafraid to uncover your feelings, knowing you’ll be caught now that you’ve jumped head-first into the hungry sea of honesty.
He apologizes again. Repeats it in the aphonic form of a deep chaste kiss.
“Won’t do it again,” he promises. “Unless you ask me to.”
Your lips form a smile, but it quivers into a straight line just as quickly as it appeared. The yet unknown cause behind his untypical behavior troubles you.
“Did something happen today at work?”
Namjoon sighs. “No, I’m just tired.”
“Just tired or tired of your job?” you try, tilting your head to the side, remembering this isn’t the first time quiet broodiness clutched his figure when the clock struck five.
“Both.” He kneads the heel of his palm against his eye. 
Not expecting his honesty, your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. It propels you to investigate further. Gives you the green light. Namjoon usually keeps to himself when it comes to work-related storms, holding respect that reaches the bottom of his heart for those above him and for his peers as well.
“Did someone make you upset?” you ask, paving your way in this inquiry to the realm of understanding so you can help him. At least in a small way.
He drops his hand, gazes up the ceiling to stare at a fixed point. Perhaps he’s looking for words, perhaps he’s avoiding the question altogether. The regret of your prying swallows you. You’re afraid you’ve overstepped a boundary. 
You reach out your arm, wrapping wet fingers around his wrist on his lap. The gesture says, ‘you don’t have to tell me but I’m here,’ and you squeeze the limb to emphasize that. As if he heard you, he looks down at you. His eyes that are usually narrowed into slits now round in tenderness. The swallowing lets go, the lump that threatened to obstruct your throat disappears.
“It’s Friday, Joonie, and you can forget about your job for a little while. It’ll get better,” you say, caressing his soft skin.
To your another surprise, Namjoon nods. Slips his fingers into the hollowness between yours, squeezing back, saying, ‘I hear you.’ Your heart jumps with gladness that you haven’t made a mistake, that instead your reassurement made a difference.
To lighten up the atmosphere, you begin to joke around.
“Should I beat them up?” You raise your brow in mischief, a goofy smile coating your face in lightheartedness.
A grin cracks on his face. “Don’t get your hands dirty for me, baby.”
You scoff, half-seriously and half-unseriously shaking your head at his eagerness to please but never letting himself be pleased. “But I want to. I’ll do it for you.”
Namjoon shakes his head as well. Leans over to you. Cradles your head in his hands and kisses you. Picks the hair plastered on your face and puts it away. You forget all of your jokes for a moment, breathless. Your neediness nudges you in your sensitive parts, reminding you of its lingering presence. 
“Come on, Joonie,” you coo, prolonging the vowels, the best you could come up with considering his allure, “I’ll fight them,” you start to construct your imaginary plan, the dimples adorning his face making it a bit harder for you to get the words out, “then, they’ll be scared of me and they won’t bother you again. Because if they do, I’ll smash their fucking teeth in. And then… then, you’ll get your peace for good. Easy.”
Namjoon listens with his features bathed in enamoredness, seemingly lost in a deep thought. A twinkle, a twin to yours, glistens in his eyes. Dimples out provoking you, he softly smiles at you. Coyly. He’s unaccustomed to being the one fought for. He’s always been the one who fights. The one who settles, resolves, makes things right. He’s never been the person these things are done for by another person. It makes his heart pulsate in a strange new rhythm. 
He stretches out his hands and runs his fingers through your hair. Begins to plait an intricate braid down your back, keeping you caged in the confines of his arms. Safe. Protected. His warrior princess.
“There’s something else you can do for me,” he mumbles, finished with your braid. Now your hair is away from your face, just like he needs it for what he’s about to do.
“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow in question, your smirk growing on the side of your face. “Like what?”
“I’m so hard for you, baby,” he whispers into your ear, shoulders hunched, lips tracing the edge of your earlobe. A secret just between the two of you. “My body’s confused. I need a release.”
Even though you saw it coming, even though you saw it a hundred times before, you can’t help but gasp at his desperation, bare and open before you. It’s a new experience each time. Thrilling and titillating, the vividness and ferocity of his sexuality. It causes a flock of playful butterflies to buzz you with electricity in your tummy and a shiver to run down your spine. You feel your own neediness making itself known again and you squeeze your thighs together. 
This is the Namjoon you know. Strong in his softness. Mellow. Intense. The Namjoon who showed you plain roughness was a stranger to you, one you could take the time to get to know, because now you understand that the incentive to act like he did was his frustration from work. You can’t really blame the natural inclination of his body—his body that is yours to love in all shapes or forms.
You perceive he needs to let out some steam—he said so himself. Proud of him for voicing it out, a decision to be his helper already makes a way to your heart. You no longer feel slivers of consternation slithering in your veins. Knowing the cause, knowing it’s still your Namjoon helps you submit to the call of his needs. If a dab of roughness is what entails the sand-speckled footpath to the seaside of his well-being, you’ll take it. Welcome it, even. Within the realm of your established boundaries, that is. 
“Can I see?”
The book falls to the floor with a thud. Namjoon stands up. 
Ever so eager. Responding to his body language out of pure instinct, you hum and lift yourself to your knees. The outline of his engorged length, tight in his pants, greets you and you will your brain not to tell your fingers to rub your swollen clit. To busy your hands, you grip the rim until white brushes along your knuckles.
Emerging from the water, it left you smothered in a luster of wet silkiness. Namjoon’s eyes rake over your bare femininity. Heavenly, pure, seraphic. Groans a little loud. Doesn’t know whether to touch you first or his painfully hard and heavy member. You move your body to the side wall of the tub and he follows you, hand opting for his girth to relieve himself a little bit. 
You sit prettily on your folded legs and lean over, pulling his wrist away. You plant a dewy kiss to the middle of his clothed length and look up at him, just at the right time to catch him whimpering. Your clit pulses again and you feel like crying, needing release as much as he does. He doesn’t make it easy for you, making sounds like that.
“What does my baby girl need me to do?” you ask, stroking his member while stifling your giggles at the title that fits him so well. 
“Baby girl?” He frowns down at you. 
It’s usually what he calls you, hence why his confusion. And you call him by an entirely different title, too.
A giggle does escape your mouth after all. You squeeze at his tip, drawing those delicious whimpers out of him again.
“Only needy little baby girls make sounds like that. You are needy, aren’t you?” You lick that sensitive part, palming his balls. 
Namjoon whines. 
The shift of dynamics, the change of titles ever so dizzying to the mind. He doesn’t even have the strength to correct you. 
He grips the back of your head and moves you away from his cock. Then the realization he’s being rough again wafts over him and he softens his hold, fallen stray hairs coming to rest at your temples. Namjoon tucks them behind your ear. Taps you on the cheek once.
“Get to sucking off your baby girl,” he rasps. 
You smile. Find it immensely attractive that he’s embracing the pet name while still being dominant. A masculinity in its true form.
“You can be rough with me if you want to,” you say, wanting to make that clear. “I think I can handle it.”
Namjoon traces the shell of your ear with his thumb, pondering.
“Just don’t hit me, okay?” 
He says your name sternly, as if you offended him. “I would never deliberately hurt you. How can you think that?” 
“No, I meant—” You lick your lips. “Don’t slap my boobs or anything. You can spank me, I like that. But don’t be as rough with me as you were. Can we take it slow? Is that okay?”
He stares at you for a moment.  
“Do you trust me?”
You nod, turning your head to press a kiss into his palm. “Yes, I trust you.”
“I’ll teach you, then. We’ll take it slow,” he says, fingers stroking the side of your cheek, where a small amount of fluff creates a path for him to lay down his silent love on. “It was a mistake on my part for not preparing you for it, and for that I’m sorry. But I’ll teach you. Show you how good it is.” He pauses. “Until you beg me for it.”
Your throat dries up. The pulsing in your cunt unbearable. 
“Fuck, Namjoon. Save the talk or I’ll come on the spot.” 
“The talk is important,” he reprimands you. “Whether you come or not without my permission is your problem.” 
“Shit,” you whimper, gripping his hand on your cheek. You tighten your hold as if to brattily change his mind on having this kind of control over your orgasm because you need to come as soon as possible. And not just once. You’re sure your dewiness is leaking into the water. 
“No bad words or I’ll fuck your filthy mouth.” 
You gasp. So unused to this side of him. But it turns you on, now that you feel safe. Turns you unstable.
“Say you’re sorry.”
You’re tumbling out the words before he’s even finished with his sentence. “I’m so sorry.”
He beams at your immediate submission, purring at the quintessence of your compliance. Wants more. “Who are you apologizing to?” 
You pause. His usual title almost slips off of your tongue. But since this is new and you’re both experiencing a new dynamic that causes you to feel so playful, that guides you ever so gently and carefully into the kingdom of subspace, you opt for the pet name that suits him well. “To my baby girl,” you say, laughing softly. “I’m so sorry, baby girl.” 
He laughs as well, the sound a deep rumble in his chest. You’re giddy that you’re allowed to be wild, your inner child healing and quivering within you. You overflow with the desire to kiss him.
“What for?”
He wants you to say the full sentence. You take a deep breath. 
“Baby girl, I’m so sorry for having a filthy mouth and saying bad words.”
“Hm, do you regret it?” 
You almost curse again. “Yes, I do. I’m sorry for being bad.”
“Good. Get to work, then,” he says. “Make that mouth useful.”
Fuck.
“Kiss me first, please. Make it better,” you beg, fluttering your eyelashes at him. 
Namjoon moans and you bite your lip. Bends and sucks it between his, deepening the kiss as he opens your jaw and slips his tongue inside. Massages the muscle against yours. Makes those sounds again. Palms his cock. Withdraws with a pop. 
You mewl in satisfaction. That kiss alone ruined you. 
“Good girls get kisses.” Hand under your chin, he squishes your cheeks. “You’ve been exceptionally good. I’m gonna destroy you.” 
He kisses you again with the same intensity but briefly, inhaling your skin. No tongue this time. 
Cheeks awash with rosiness, you hastily unbuckle his belt. Not to cut time and get to his promise faster—on the contrary, you’re dying to pleasure him. He doesn’t help you like he normally does; he merely watches you as you pull down the cotton material of his slacks along with his boxers down his muscular thighs. Only when you wrap your lips around his cock from the side does he throw his head back. Thrusts his hips. 
He’s rock hard. The weight of him makes you absolutely fucked out.
Namjoon likes you there so he keeps you still—there in the middle of his girth. You moan, producing as much saliva as you can to gratify him while he uses your mouth, alternating between keeping those pillows firm and soft. When he gets you to his tip, he expects you to swallow him, but you merely move your head from side to side rapidly, flicking your tongue. Namjoon groans lowly, a string of curse words spilling from his throat. His precum drops onto your chin and you suck in a breath, horny beyond your mind.
You swipe your index finger to collect it. Check if he’s watching before you plunge the digit into your mouth. Roll your eyes back as the tanginess overwhelms your senses. Namjoon hisses. Grabs your braid as if it were a ponytail. Kisses you, aching to be one with you. You feel the vibrations of his fervid mania in unity with him like this and it echoes down your body once he pulls away. 
“Take it in your mouth.” 
Namjoon holds it at the base for you and you find the long vein that you favor so much. Pepper kisses along the length of it, feeling it throb in tandem with your clit. Straightening your spine, you bite your lip. Give him an utter look of adoration before you swipe your tongue along the slit. Humming in delight, you slip him into your mouth. Your cheeks hollow and you begin to bob your head, fingers following your movement, bumping into his fist. Tears pool in your eyes when you dare to inch closer to his hand and even though you gag, you try your hardest to keep him nice and tucked in your warm throat. You sputter and cough, swallowing around him, because you deem he deserves it, knowing how much he loves it when your flesh contracts around him like that, and Namjoon groans deeply. It fills you with a dose of satisfaction almost akin to an orgasm, the lack of oxygen in your brain heightening the experience so much that your head spins. 
“Such a good girl,” he whispers. “Breathe, baby.”
He slips out of your mouth. Pats you on your head before he sinks his fingers into your hair, gripping at the roots. Ascertains you pay attention to him. 
“Don’t do that again,” he says, softly. “You need to breathe. Take a deep breath with me.”
You’re still on your knees and he’s merely looking down at you. You fold your hands on your lap. Your mind is so empty that you’re not sure how you feel right now, having been entirely focused on his pleasure. 
Namjoon inhales deeply with his nose and you do the same.
Inhale, exhale. 
Fondly, he caresses you on your cheek.
“I just wanted to make you feel good,” you explain yourself, thinking that you should.
“I know, baby, and you did. It’s okay, I’m not mad at you.” He smiles at you. “You hear me? I’m not mad at you.”
You nod your head yes. Pout. 
“You feeling okay? Take a deep breath for me again.” 
You do as he says, your senses returning to you like a warm spring wind. 
“Better now?”
You nod again.
“Words.”
You wet your lips with your tongue. “Yes, I feel better now.”
“Good. Do you still wanna continue?”
“Yes, Namjoon. I wanna make you come.” 
Almost like you flipped a switch, his eyes darken. 
“Hands behind your back,” he rasps. 
You oblige, crisscrossing your wrists below the dimples on your lower back.
“‘Atta girl. Back to work, come on.” 
It’s much harder to do so without your hands, especially in the position you’re in. You hesitate.
“I don’t know if I can,” you admit. 
He tuts in pity. “Should I use you then?”
You roll your eyes back, the idea intoxicating your body. You feel woozy. 
“Yes, please.” 
“Focus on your breathing, okay?” 
“Yes, Namjoon.”
Humming, Namjoon grabs your hair gently and sinks your mouth down on his cock, moves you up and down slowly. You focus on not just sucking in your cheeks but also on breathing through your nose like he told you, although you can’t help but moan around him. It turns you on how he manhandles you to his liking so delicately. You swirl your tongue around his tip once he wants you there and you let out a series of whines and whimpers. He keeps you there for a little longer, moaning after you, the sounds creating a paradisiacal symphony. You twist your head in half circles as you continue sucking him, slobbering all over him, using your tongue to flick beneath the mushroom. 
“So good, baby. Yes, fuck.” Namjoon squeezes his eyes shut. “You’re gonna make me come.” 
You pull away, but a string of saliva still connects you to him. 
He blinks at you. “You want a spanking?” 
You run the tip of your tongue along the top of your lip, giving him the eyes. Cock your eyebrow at him. Namjoon draws a sharp breath in. 
He leans over. One hand tugs at your braid firmly to arch your back over the edge of the tub. The other smacks you sharply on your ass cheek, smoothing over the sting. You moan, nipples rubbing over the cold surface, curse words dying on your tongue. Namjoon grips the flesh, spanks you again. Skims his fingers over your exposed heat. Repeats it on the other cheek, twice in a row. You wiggle your hips, needing to feel more, needing him to touch you right there between your legs. You cry out into his ear.
Letting go of your braid, Namjoon kisses you beneath your jaw. Slides his tongue along the sensitive spot, sucking it between his lips. A secret message that he hears you, that he’ll fuck your needy cunt soon.
“Think you’ll be a good girl for now?” 
Furrowing your eyebrows, you nod a few times. Not a single rational thought passes through your brain. 
Namjoon straightens. Pulls down his foreskin for you. “Spit on it.” 
You watch as your liquid love trickles down and lands on his tip. He hums and surprises you by wrapping your hands around his girth, spreading down the lubrication with you. You feel the ridges and the thick vein in a new, vehement way and even though you’re not the one pleasured, you moan. The simple up and down movement grows in rapidness that your body follows, emulating the effort, making it seem like you’re bouncing on a dick. Your ass splashes the water around, creating tender waves full of love, inherited from your still leaking dewiness. 
His hands are so warm enclasped around yours, pressed tight. Not once unclenching.
You start blabbering. 
“You’re so big. I can’t even wrap my hand around you.” You make sure to look him in the eyes as you say it. “So big in my mouth, too. Could barely fit you.” 
Your words set those twilit embers in his eyes on fire. His breathing quickens. He’s close again and you’re stunned, once more, by the vividness of his sexuality. Your hands go limp in his grasp.
“Nuh-uh, keep up the pace,” he husks. “Thought I was your little baby girl?” 
You shake your head, willing your hands to gain strength again, but it has no source to draw from. “Not anymore.”
Namjoon chuckles, darkly. Notices your movements fluctuating, arms shaking. “Tired?”
You nod and he unclasps his hands. You twist your wrists in circles to alleviate them from a cramp. 
Then, you get an idea.
Sitting back on your heels, you arch your back. Tip your chin down and spit on your chest, the essence flowing down the pathway between your breasts. You do it again, though this time you spread it on your skin. 
“Fuck, baby,” Namjoon mumbles. Unbuttons his shirt. You squeeze your nipples with both hands as your eyes flick to his, then down to his exposed chest. “How are you gonna address me, huh? What’s my name?”
He forcefully tugs the fabric off of his arms, tossing it on the floor. His body—with its vulgar beauty, broadness and definition—takes your breath away. You don’t let it show, or perhaps you pretend that you don’t because you allow your hand to travel down your stomach. Namjoon imitates you, running his fingers down the chiseled muscles that make you drool. He stops at the hair adorning his pelvis. You don’t.
You rub circles on your clit instead.
“Daddy,” you cry out in pleasure, announcing his title—his rightful, most fitting title. Face contorting at the brisk, blooming flashes of sensuality rising up your form.
His body tenses. It’s like he’s stopping himself from reaching for you, pulling you out of the bathtub and spanking you until your bottom resembles the water. Or tugging at his length until he paints you white with his cum. 
You make it easy for him. 
Lifting your body, you step over the edge of the bathtub. Kneel at his feet on the fluffy black mat. Far enough for him to see purple liquid pearls make their way down to your cunt. Far enough for him to see how you resume those circles on your bundle of nerves, fingers reaching to your hole for lubrication. You roll your hips into your hand, arm propped behind you.
“What’s this show?” Namjoon rasps, his cock twitching. “I don’t remember giving you permission to touch yourself. You wanna end up with zero orgasms?”
You pause. 
“That’s what I thought,” he says. “I believe you have unfinished work to do.” 
You smile mischievously. “You want it bad, don’t you?” 
Namjoon nods. Holds out his hand. “Come to Daddy.”
Exuberantly, you leap into his arms. Namjoon throws you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing and walks into your shared bedroom. Sets you down on your bed, spreading your legs, and he crouches between them, reaching into his bedside table for the tool that he wants. 
The aroma of strawberries lovingly boops you on the nose. Namjoon squirts a good amount of lubrication on your chest, paying special attention to the pathway in the middle of your breasts. He massages it in, incorporates your sensitive nipples in the preparation, coaxing whimper after whimper out of you by squeezing them and rolling them between his long fingers.
“I’m gonna make a mess,” you say, grinding your hips against nothing.
Namjoon clicks his tongue. “Already?” 
Your dewiness oozes out of you onto the bedding. To prove your point, you lean back on your elbows and lift your knees, revealing your dripping hole and the shine of your soaked folds. Namjoon stares at your cunt but doesn’t touch, doesn’t blink. He bites his lip. Flicks his eyes to yours. 
He kisses the middle of your tummy. Moves over to your heat. Licks a tiny stripe on your clit.
You cry out.
“Namjoon!”
Hands on either side of your waist, crawling up to you, he growls. “Good girls are patient, aren’t they?” 
He doesn’t wait for your response. 
“They take what is given to them and they finish what they started,” he continues. “Don’t they?”
You nod.
“And you are a good girl, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I’m a good girl.” 
“Then thank your Daddy for what he gave you.” 
Your walls squeeze around nothing when you hear him utter his title. It refreshes your body with energy. 
“Thank you, Daddy.” You smile. 
Namjoon kisses you, rewarding you.
“Sit up.”
Changing the layout, it’s Namjoon who reclines halfway on the bed while you sit perched on your knees between his legs, cock in your face. He spurts the lube on his length and jerks himself off, his skin shining in the abrupt spillage of burnt-orange sunlight from the window. Watches your eyes round in astonishment similarly to the way they did earlier when you had gazed upon the glitter swarming around you. 
He nods at you, giving you the green light, and you sheathe his girth into the tightness of your squished tits. You may start a face pace from the get go, fucking him into oblivion, but all Namjoon sees is the whites of your eyes, the glimmer, the pure enjoyment of what you’re doing while the rest of you is immersed in subdued late afternoon shadows. Sweat glistens on the planes of his face, dribbling down to the strained column of his neck.
It’s intense. So intense that he can’t vocally react. 
Precum appears once more on his mushroom, displaying his arousal, and you slurp it up, the braid coming undone—your hair falling around you like a curtain. 
It’s brutal. It’s wet. 
Namjoon gathers your hair to the side in a makeshift ponytail and leans over to be closer to you. Needs you like this. Feels his relief catching up to him the more effort you put in, the more you stick out your tongue to flick at that sensitive part of him whenever you can. 
“Want your come. So bad. Want it all over me,” you whisper, and that’s it for him. 
“Say please,” he murmurs, and it’s barely a sound, but you hear him. 
“Please, Daddy, come for me.” 
Pulling your hands away, Namjoon takes charge. Fucks your tits in frenzy, your hair, now half dry, tickling your skin. With his thumbs, he stimulates your nipples to coax those little sounds of yours and—
“Play with your pussy,” he commands. “But don’t come. Tease yourself like you teased Daddy.”
The relief on your face inches him closer to his. He hears the wetness as you dip a finger in, your walls sucking it in. He hears your breath get stuck in your throat. The slow crescendo of your moans. Suddenly, he hears himself too. 
Whiny, desperate, so unlike himself.
It’s a fortress of safety, his forehead on top of yours. His nose bumping against yours. Open mouth ghosting over the sounds of your well-deserved pleasure. It’s a safe place for him to come in.  
And he does. 
Ropes upon ropes of come color you ivory white, color you clean. The reversal of a coloring book—changing the lines, changing the scheme, changing your life. 
You milk him dry, your pussy long forgotten. Milk him until he pushes you away, chest heaving, unable to catch his breath. You just watch him, his seed hot on your chest. Glittery. And not just there. On your neck, on your chin, in the wavy strands of your hair. 
You’re in awe of him. You can see the pressure leaving him like a ghost slinking out of the window. 
Namjoon takes off his glasses. With two fingers, he collects as much of his essence as he can and plunges them into your mouth. The other hand rests on the crook of your neck, thumb protectively over your throat. “Swallow.”
Not for long. Namjoon throws you on the bed. Doesn’t waste time.
He laps up your pussy, clit to hole, sucking your labia into his mouth. He does it again, but this time he travels a bit further. Clit, hole, ass. Tongue flat. Your screams are muffled by the rumpled bedsheet you grip.
Going back to your leaking hole, he circles the flesh before he dips the tongue in. Wraps his arms around your ass to control your squirming, feeling the dip of your spine as the sunlight kisses it. Dust particles spiral in the air—Namjoon sees it. The dark grey curtain keeping half of the world shrouded in dimness while the other illuminated, a picture cut in a heart shape due to the deliciousness of your ass. 
Fuck, Namjoon longs to play with it again. 
He spits on it, rubbing the saliva around it before he slides his tongue back into your wet hole. Says hello to it—long time no see—teases it, before he dips his thumb in. You arch your back even more, welcoming the intrusion, and Namjoon kisses your pussy lips as a thank you. He quivers with the craving to fuck you right there in your ass, but knows better than to do it. You’re not ready for it. 
Spreading you more open, while keeping his thumb there in that sweet place, he begins to focus on your poor little clit. Swirls his tongue around it firmly, sucking it until your back trembles—goes up and down like a seesaw. The kisses he leaves there are obscene, loud, full of thankfulness that he gets to play with you. Full of love for you that he burns bright with—that propels him to flick his tongue harder. And full of joy that his stress is gone. Joy that you’ve been the helper unscrewing the steel body of heaviness off of his because, as of now, his bones feel lighter.
“You’re so good for me.” He smacks his lips against your cunt. “Fucking Daddy like that when he needed you.” 
Vigorously, he rubs his face against you, shaking his head from side to side. You stretch your fingers behind you and helplessly grip the back of your thighs. Namjoon catches one of your hands, holds it with his free four fingers, sucking your clit. 
“Thank you, baby,” he whispers, withdrawing to pay attention to your other hole, missing it. Abuses it once he spits on it, eating it, dipping his tongue in with ease since he stretched you. Fucks you there in the only way he can. 
“Wanna come?” he asks and as he waits for your answer, he goes lower to drink your freshness, not letting a drop go to waste. 
You’ve lost your voice screaming. “Yes, Daddy, please. I can’t hold it in anymore. Please, let me come,” you croak. 
Namjoon makes a sound of appreciation, proud of you for holding out for so long without saying anything.
“I think you can,” he says. Stuffs a finger into your dripping hole and lets you adjust for a moment. Adds another. “I think you can hold it while I count to ten.” 
His digits pump into you slowly. Kneeling by your side, he turns your head so you can see him, twisting your body into the position he wants. The curve of your back is so beautiful in his sight that he can’t help but run his free hand over the route that your spine has become. The route he wants to plant kisses on like flowers of various colors, adding to the coloring book, erasing the old. 
And he does. Begins at the nape of your neck. Picks up the speed.
“One.” 
You cry out. First before your tears rush out, pooling in your waterline. You clench your whole body in naive hope it would stall the orgasm, but it quickens it, squeezing his fingers in, so you relax your muscles. 
“Two.” 
A kiss to the first round protrusion of your spine. Shifting your weight to your shoulder, you take his cock into your hand. 
“Three.”
The middle of your shoulder blades. You hear your wetness oozing out of you, the relief prowling closer. You whine and Namjoon understands.
“Hold it or I’ll stop,” he whispers. “I can feel your pussy squeezing around my fingers. Relax.” 
You match your pace with his. Namjoon begins to pant. You feel his hot, heavy breath beneath your shoulder blades. 
“Six.” 
Ass shaking from the force, he jackhammers into you. Pulls out for a moment to spank you, a merciful gesture, before he’s back in. Leaves a wet fingerprint on your skin.
“Eight.”
The last protrusion of your spine. You silence your moans by pressing your hand against your mouth because they bring you closer to your orgasm, however Namjoon yanks your arm away. 
“Make those pretty sounds for me, come on,” he huffs, kissing both of those dimples on your back. “Ten. Come. Come for Daddy. Come all over his hand.”
And you do.
It’s a paradise, the heat closing in on you. The loss of hearing, the muted ringing, resembling the flap of a bird’s wing. The loss of surroundings as you’re momentarily transported somewhere entirely else. A gilded illustration, perhaps a lively projection. Something, somewhere, where all is good. The orgasm rips through you and the repetitive echo of his name leaving your mouth is what brings you back. Away from the storybook into a brand new coloring book.
Namjoon strokes your hair. 
He holds you in his arms, but something sticks you uncomfortably together. You peel yourself off of him and cringe. Strings upon strings of his come, gleaming with speckles of glitter, do not want you to leave. You sit on his thighs, resting your palms on his chest. 
He kisses you. “Are you okay?”
You nod with droopy eyelids. 
He carries you into the shower and makes a way for all colors of the rainbow to perfuse your body. To create a new storyline for the day, for the week, for the month. Reds and pinks show their faces first in the steam, and even though Namjoon is glad to see them, he looks forward to meeting the rest. To learning their objectives so he can fulfill them. 
Grabbing the yellow book on the way back to the bedroom, Namjoon makes himself comfortable beside you. Is careful not to touch your face out of habit because you have a face mask on; careful not to bump into you either because you have a plate of mozzarella and sliced tomatoes on your lap. He kisses your hair, though. Doesn’t have the strength to fight internally—grabs your jawline and ever so slowly and heedfully, he kisses you, fingers finding the first chapter unwittingly. 
“When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from troubled dreams, he found himself changed into a monstrous cockroach in his bed.” 
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alicesivory · 2 months
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Old Habits Die Hard [4/?]
Previous Chapter // Main Masterlist // Next Chapter
Pairing: Nightwatch! Aemond Targaryen x wildling female! Reader
Genre: Historically accurate Aemond
WC: 3370
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Summary: Aemond ventures beyond the Wall.
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“Your hair looks nicer when it’s braided now.”
It seemed that the she-wildling could not keep her mouth shut. Rolling his eyes, Aemond changed the subject quickly, “How long ‘til we reach your people’s camp?” Aemond asked. “Just keep the horse in a steady pace up ahead and we’ll reach them in no time,” she answered him whilst comfortably sitting in front of him, between his arms that held the reins of the stallion. The reins were relaxed, and the stallion responded effortlessly to his light guidance through the cold and dark forest. The forest stands in eerie silence, its dense canopy casting a perpetual twilight over the twisted, gnarled trees. Shadows dance menacingly across the forest floor, where fallen leaves and branches lie in disarray, as if disturbed by some unseen force. The trees themselves seem alive, their bark scarred and contorted into grotesque shapes, carrying with it the faintest whisper of forgotten secrets, and the occasional creak or groan of the wood echoes through the stillness, adding to the sense of foreboding. 
No wonder they call this the haunted forest. 
“What lies in these woods?” Aemond asked once again. “Wild animals, mostly. But we don’t really hunt at night. It's a bad omen,” she replied. “Sometimes we see them at night, that’s where they emerge.” Her words made Aemond wonder, “Who do you speak of?”
“What do you think the walls were made for?”
Aemond thought for a moment. 
“To keep your kind away from entering the realm,” he said, hesitantly. Not quite confident with his answer. For he knew that the wall’s purpose was more than just keeping a few wildlings out of Westeros but, he does not know what. “It wasn’t even built because of us. My people were separated from yours because we were unlucky enough to live beyond the wall when it was built,” she explained. “It was the others that they were afraid of.”
“Others? Other tribes?”
“No. The undead.”
Chills ran down from Aemond’s spine.
The White Walkers. 
He has read countless books about the white walkers and the long night. How the battle for the dawn unfolded, yet all he knew was that it was all a myth. A fairytale. Stories to scare your child so they would sleep for the night. He recalled how the White Walkers were first written and mentioned during the Age of Heroes. Born of powerful and untested magic, they were created to protect the Children of the Forest during their war with the First Men. What once used to be puppets and soldiers for the Children of the Forest, the magic within the white walkers took a turn and rebelled against their creators and brought nothing but destruction to the realm. 
“But they were nothing but old stories. Fiction, even,” Aemond protested. 
“They are far from fiction, snow-hair.” 
The wildling looked back to him, surprisingly close since they were cramped at horseback. 
“What did they call you back there? I couldn’t recall. Was it Almond?”
“Aemond,” he grunts. 
She chuckled, “I like snow-hair better.”
“And what of you?” Slowly speaking her name which seemed foreign to his tongue. 
“Close enough,” she shrugged with a smirk, looking back into the road. Aemond wondered once again of the undead she mentioned. Were they lurking behind the old trees of this very forest? Were their lives at stake when they stepped their foot to this forest. “They took my brother,” she said, capturing Aemond’s attention. “The undead?” She nodded at his question. “He seemed to forget about time that day. But what kind of child remembers time, really? They wanted to play all day. So he did, running inside the woods without me or my mother’s attention, wanting to become a great hunter who enters the forest with no fear like my father. And he never came back.” 
He felt sorry for the girl, for he himself had felt the same kind of grief when he heard of Aegon’s death. Especially when they could’ve done something to prevent their deaths. “Sometimes I wonder if they buried him at all. If they did, I wonder where they buried him,” she said, spacing off into the distance. “There is no sympathy from the dead. Nor do they care for the living,” he said to her. “I know. But I’d like to think they did. He was just a child.” 
The whole ride quickly became gloomy and sour as the pair battled their grief as bad memories and remorse overcome their thoughts. “Does that stop you from hunting in the forest?” Aemond asked, trying to bring peace to her. “No, not really. I think I became eager to hunt here. Maybe one day I can find him well and just…cleverly hiding between trees,” she said with a bitter chuckle, sensing her denial of her brother’s disappearance. A sense of protectiveness washed over Aemond, knowing what it felt like to see light in the midst of darkness. Denying the truth to comfort yourself. He knew of that feeling. 
“Maybe one day you would. One day.”
Crack. Swish. 
“What was that?” 
Crack. Crack. Crack. 
“A wild beast?” Aemond asked. 
A figure emerging slowly behind the tree as they pass. “That is no beast,” the wildling alarmingly said, taking over the reins and snapped it making their horse gallop through the dark forest. “I would’ve preferred it to be a wild beast so we can take it home, yet you and I know that is no beast, snow hair,” she spoke as the harsh winds of the north hits their faces. Aemond looked back, seeing two..three...four figures catching up onto them. 
“How do we escape them?” He asked. 
“Hold on tight.” 
She took a turn in a swift motion, galloping off the road going between trees. In hopes for them to stop gaining on them. The wildling kept snapping the reins ordering the horse to go faster with only the moon being their source of light. “C’mon…c’mon…,” he heard her grunting as she took a glance behind and saw some still following their tracks. Galloping between trees, their horse finally took them to safety at the edge of the forest, to a clear opening. 
Making Aemond have a clear vision of the undead. 
Their skins were pale, almost blue. 
They look like humans yet they were not at the same time. 
The creatures frightened him more than anything else, but as they neared the edge of the forest, the White Walkers ceased their pursuit and vanished behind the trees. Aemond exhaled deeply, relieved that they had escaped the forest unharmed. Suddenly the horse neighed, abruptly stopping. Making both of them grunt in pain when they nearly fell. “What’s wrong?” The wildling asked the horse before an arrow striked a tree behind them. They looked around, trying to find any signs of life. 
“What are you doing?” Aemond hissed when she stepped down from the horse. “Where’s my dagger?” She whispered, ignoring his previous question. Aemond sighed, tossing her the dagger beneath his black cloak. Catching it with ease, she spoke into the air,
“It’s only me! Gruff? Yuri?” Aemond was curious about those people she called out. Were they one of her people? Who were they?
“Blimey kid, you scared the shit out of us!” 
A loud booming voice suddenly said, emerging from the snowy ecosystem. Their thick fur coats also seemed to be efficient for camouflage. Aemond saw how his peculiar she wildling smiled brightly when she spotted her friend, running towards the tall red haired man giving him a tight hug making them both laugh as he picked her up in his arms. 
Aemond rolled his eye.
“Thought you were gone for! We saw those creepy dead people- thank the gods!” The red haired wildling said, ruffling her hair. “Oww! No! Do you think that low of me, old man?!” She asked with a laugh, shoving the man away from her. “Oi, I'm not that old, young lady.” Locking her head once again with his arm. “Yuri! Look who just came back from the dead!” The red haired shouted, now another wildling emerged from the opening. His hair was blonde, almost as light as the hair of the Lannisters. “We really thought you were dead, kid,” Yuri said, patting her shoulder. 
Who were they? Why were they awfully close with her? 
From what he witnessed, a young woman could only interact like this with the opposite gender if they were siblings or wedded. Even he never saw any of his wedded acquaintances interacting this way. Were they her siblings? They don’t seem to resemble one another, were they bastards? Did they came from different mothers?
Aemond cleared his throat, stepping down from his horse, interrupting their reunion. 
“Ah yes- Gruff, Yuri, this is ehm..Aemond Targaryen. The man that I spoke of to the both of you,” she said. The red haired, who was named Gruff looked Aemond from head to toe. “Gruff and Yuri are my hunting friends. We’ve been hunting together since we were children and fun fact, we have the same grandsire.”
Gruff slowly approached the one eyed prine, keeping an eye on him. Aemond straightened his back to appear taller, gripping the handle of his sword, preparing himself. Once Gruff stopped in front of him, their noses bumping into each other, he spoke, 
“Did your mum fucked a snowman?”
“I beg your pardon–,” Aemond stepped closer, ready to draw his sword out.
“–Alright that’s enough!” She quickly stepped between the two men. “What Gruff was trying to say was, how is your hair silver?” She asked. "My father, my grandsire, my great-grandsire—all of them had silver hair," Aemond hissed, his gaze fixed on the red-haired wildling. "How did they end up with silver hair?" the red-haired wildling asked, crossing his arms. Aemond couldn't believe how absurd this conversation had become. Frustrated, he let his hands drop. "We're from old Valyria," Aemond explained with resignation. "It's simply a trait we have—silver hair is just part of who we are."
“Valyria? What’s that?” The blonde wildling asked curiously. “It's a place far from the north, Yuri– Now come on! We must bring him to the Chief.” Walking past them, she held the horse’s reins and started walking ahead. Gruff purposely bumped Aemond’s shoulder as he passed through the one eyed prince. Aemond rolled his eyes again, resigned to the childish behavior of these people, before catching up and walking alongside her. Compared to the two wildlings, he found her more tolerable. At least she didn’t ask pointless questions.s. “I have told our Chief about you,” she said. “I am sure he will take it easy on you,” she said.
 “Does he takes it easy with anyone else?”
“No, not really. He’s quite rude if you ask me.”
“As rude as your friend there?” Aemond chuckled bitterly.
“You’re in for a ride,” she chuckled, patting Aemond’s shoulder. 
As much as Aemond would like to worry, he could not as he knew that she was the one who brought him to her people. For her people needed him, not the other way around. He hoped that this agreement would be the means for her to fulfill her promise and return him to Westeros once and for all. Additionally, he couldn’t help but notice her diminutive stature compared to his own—she barely reached his shoulder, smaller than any lady from Westeros yet possessing a fierceness and demeanor that defied conventional femininity. A smirk tugged at his lips.. 
And there he saw it. In the vast expanse of snow-covered terrain, a tribe lives a nomadic life, their existence marked by resilience and adaptability. Their tents, typically made of sturdy animal hides or woven materials, scattered across the field. The tents are insulated with layers of fur and cloth, designed to withstand the biting cold. The camp itself is a lively hub of activity despite the harsh environment. Smoke curls up from several central hearths, where fires are kept burning to provide warmth and to cook meals. The scent of roasting meat and simmering stews mingled with the crisp, cold air when he stepped closer to them.
Like when he first entered Winterfell, all eyes fell upon him, following him as he walked side by side with her. “It seems you have captured the people’s attention,” she teased with a cocky smile. “Why is it because of my hair or my eye?” He asked. “Neither. It’s your attire.” Aemond looked down to his clothing. Of course, he’s still dressed like a member of the night’s watch.
“We hate the crows in here, so it’s better for you to strip those clothes after you meet our Chief,” she said, giving him a wink. Before he could protest, a snow hit his cloak, making him flinch. Turning around, he saw a couple of children running around, even snickering at his presence. “Careful now boys!” She chuckled, greeting some of those children. “Never seen a crow, huh?” She crouched down, talking to the children surrounding her. 
“He only has one eye!” One of the children tried to whisper to her. “Scary, isn’t he? Tell you what, I’ll let you pick on him when I’m not around,” she said to the kids, making them snicker and giggle in excitement. 
She was really good with children. 
Throughout his life, he rarely sees his mother or even his sister being this natural with children. It makes him wonder if she has one. 
“For the meantime, can all of you keep an eye on our horse?” Offering the rein to the children, in which they eagerly accepted before taking the horse away. Aemond curiously kept his eye on the horse as the children led it away. “Don’t worry, they are very gentle with horses. They know their purpose,” she reassured him before she started to walk once more. 
Approaching one of the biggest tents in the area, the spearwife stops beside him, “If the Chief likes you, you’ll live another day.” Before smiling mischievously stepping inside the tent. Slightly on edge, he hesitated to follow them inside. But he would not cower in fear and enter anyways. Reminding himself to keep himself in check if he wants to go home. He stepped inside, his eye falling onto a man sitting in his chair as his companions surrounded him, whispering to each other. 
“Chief, I would like you to meet the crow I spoke of. This is Aemond Targaryen,” she introduced him. Aemond nodded with respect to their chief, an older wildling who carefully inspected Aemond, standing up from his seat. “Targaryen,” he said. “A peculiar tribe. Was it true that your family had power over dragons?” The Chief asked in which Aemond instantly nodded, “Yes, my Lord.”
All of them chuckled humorously. 
“Lord? I’m flattered to be called a Lord,” the chief said in humour. 
“So, where is your dragon now?”
Swallowing a lump in his throat, Aemond spoke. 
“She was killed at war.” A sense of bitterness, trying to mask his grief and sadness for Vhagar’s death. 
“A shame,” the Chief said. 
A pregnant pause.
“I want everybody out of this tent.” Aemond’s eyes widened. Was he going to be murdered? Did he not fulfil the Chief’s expectations? 
“But Chief–,” 
“–Especially you, girl. I shall talk to you when I’m done with this crow.”
Aemond instantly locked his eye with hers. Even her expression was unreadable as she hesitantly turned around to exit the tent. She gave him a nod, giving him support before leaving him alone with the Chief. Aemond turned his gaze back to the Chief who was crossing his arms inspecting Aemond from head to toe. 
“The girl likes you,” the Chief chuckles. “If it wasn’t for her you’d probably be dead by now. Killed by those crows.” Aemond kept his expression stoic as he brushed off the Chief’s words. “Speaking of crows, she told me you were forced to be one. Was that true?”
Aemond nodded.
“Yes, Chief.”
“What was your crime?”
“I was called a traitor to the Starks. Yet I beg to differ, for it was them who were traitors,” Aemond bravely said. 
“Traitors to whom?”
“The Throne. My brother.”
“Your brother? Your brother sat on a throne?”
“Yes, Chief.”
“That makes you a prince, then.”
A title he deeply missed. Aemond stood proudly, straightened his back as he kept his chin up high. 
“I am–,”
“You were.” 
“For you are currently not in Westeros, my boy. You are beyond the wall. Everyone beyond the wall fights for survival. For nature does not care if you’re a king or a criminal. And so far as I know, you stand before me,” the Chief said, telling Aemond to abandon his title as prince. “Where does your loyalty lie, boy?” The Chief asked, stepping closer to the one eyed prince. “To the crows?–”
“–No,” Aemond spoke with no hesitation. 
“The Starks?”
“Never.”
The Chief hummed in agreement. “The girl told me you wished to be rewarded. To go back to your family.” Aemond nodded, wishing nothing more than that. “So you’re loyal to your family,” he pointed out.
Aemond nodded. 
“Good. A man should always stay loyal to his family.”
He poured his drink onto his cup, “But will you stay loyal to us as you serve my tribe? And lead us to victory?” Aemond looked down, seeing the cup lent to him. Offering a friendship– an alliance– trust. Trusting a wildling. It seemed impossible for him, but he recalled simple questions by those wildlings about his hair. They were a simple tribe, living out of the complicated politics of Westeros. He could outsmart them easily and they’re offering him friendship. 
She paced back and forth in front of the Chief’s tent, waiting for the Targaryen to exit the tent unharmed. “You seemed stressed, kid,” Gruffed snickered, crossing his arms as he took notice on worried expression. “Of course, I am,” she said, stopping her steps abruptly. “May I know why?” He chuckled.
 “Is it because of the crow?–”
“–He is not a crow. He loathes the crows as much as we do.”
Gruff chuckled amusingly. 
“And? I bet Chief will tolerate him–,”
“–What if he doesn't? What if he beheaded that man and puts him on a spike?!–”
“–So what? What if he were beheaded? You should not care for that outsider—,”
“–I don’t care about him! I-I-I just want what’s best for our people–,”
“–You like him,” Gruff points at her with a mocking laugh. “I don’t! You pig!” She shouted defensively, quickly slapping Gruff’s arm repeatedly. “You do! You like that snow haired boy!” Gruff kept pointing at her as he teased her. The young she wildling grunts in frustration as he denies her feelings for the Targaryen. “If you speak of this one more time, I will kill you in your sleep, Gruff.” 
“Oooh you’ll kill me in my sleep, eh? Right, sure you don’t like that boy, surely if he one day betrays us will you kill him in his sleep?”
“I will. And I’ll cut off his cock and hang it in front of your tent,” she speaks bluntly. 
“Right, you sure you won’t use that for anything else?”
Her face turned red before she threw a hard punch across the red haired’s face. Groaning in pain, Gruff still laughed at her being so flustered with his words. “Why do you like him anyways? Is it because of his hair? His eye? Ooh his other eye, the sapphire?” Gruff asked, sitting up curiously looking at his friend. “For the last time, I do not like our new comer,” she repeated herself. “Keep telling that to yourself, kid. If I see silver haired babies one day–.”
The tent opened, Aemond stepping out of the tent.
Unharmed. 
“Ah, so he gave you a chance to live another day,” she said quickly, changing her once worried demeanour into the confident young wildling she is. Aemond could only nod, towering over her. “I shall, and I will.” 
His purple eye fixed on hers, “Where can I find new clothes?”
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a/n: stay tuned for the next chapter and I apologize if this is not my best work but😊✨
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months
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little kid Charlie seeing a drawing of a unicorn and excitedly comparing her own cloven hoofs and long wiggle tail to it. Unicorns as her heroes, able to heal people and help them, symbols of all things good and bright and happy
little kid Charlie spending a few years convinced she must be part unicorn, finally asking her dad about it- Lucifer not getting context at first and being all "you can be whatever you want Char-char~" only to realize too late she's being serious and she's gonna be crushed so he just changes the subject whenever it comes up trying to let her have fun as long as she can
(he also doesn't tell Lilith, bc Lilith will tell the truth and Lucifer can already picture the sad little look on Charlie's face when she hears..)
Charlie growing up and slowly noticing that a unicorn's tail is soft and fluffy and tasseled while hers is leathery and jagged and sharp. Looking down at her cloven hooves and realizing they're blood red. Staring at both her horns in the mirror, neither of them fluted, nothing magical about them- just a sign she's throwing a tantrum today
Lilith finds her hugging her fav fairytale book and crying and Lilith listens when she stumbles through the whole unicorn thing, how Charlie thought she was one but she's just a monster instead
so Lilith tells Charlie older stories about other unicorns. Dangerous wild and powerful creatures who came in strange colors and weren't always soft or gentle but were still beautiful. she turns little Charlie sideways between the wall and the light and shows her how two horns can look like one from the right angle
little Charlie cuddling into her mom's arms feeling better because her mom thinks she's perfect
but it's still a heavy thing, bc Charlie doesn't want to be wild or dangerous. She likes the kinds of unicorns who frolic through flowery meadows and summon rainbows with every step. Nice ones no one ever thinks of as scary
years later Lucifer has shut himself away and Lilith has vanished and Charlie's slipping into bed with a sigh, picking up a book of fairytales to read until her buzzing thoughts are quiet enough to let her sleep
next to her in bed Vaggie is giving her spear a last look over before it's time to lean it against the wall within easy reach
the shadow of the spear falls across the bed and onto the wall and Charlie lifts her hands to make a shadow puppet horse's head without thinking, combining the two until the spear becomes a horn and the shadow horse turns into a unicorn
Charlie giggles and Vaggie turns, smiles, spends the next few minutes trying to figure out how to give the unicorn a body without dropping the spear
eventually they're both laughing to hard and the shadow unicorn collapses. Snuggling up for sleep, Vaggie murmurs off handedly "I've got the best horned and hooved lady right here anyway. Unicorns could learn a thing or two from you, sweetie" before drifting off
Charlie all grown up and thinking about how she bandaged her girlfriend's eye the day they met. How always on edge Vaggie can spend an hour before bed checking exits and her weapon, but then relax and fall asleep the moment Charlie cuddles her
It's a pretty good magic to have, all grown up Charlie decides, much better than just summoning sparkles or rainbows
(a few years on from this and she looks down at the woman who cut out her girlfriend's eye and feels her horns and hooves and the urge to break bones with them, and she is more close to being like the wild, dangerous unicorns of her mom's stories than she'll ever know)
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jumbojazzcats93 · 3 months
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I'm Not Nice - Ghost
Summary - A Queen driven to resent her King by his lack of consideration for her in relation to his mistress.
Tags/Warnings - royalty, infidelity, love to hate, angst, inspired by Please, Please, Please by Sabrina Carpenter
Banners by @/saradika-graphics @glossysoap @quietlyignoringyou @lordlydragon @grizzersmamma @ivymarquis @violet-phantoms @gremlingottoosilly
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"Your Highness... you should not delay any further."
The poor attendant... he's too old to be subject to stressors such as this.
"Do you suggest I enter without His Majesty?"
The question wasn't meant to be discourteous, but the attendant dabs a handkerchief at his forehead nonetheless. You purse your lips. He's with that woman. You know it. He knows you cannot enter alone without there being damage to your influence as the queen, yet still, he's late. You close your eyes as they sting with tears of frustration and look up. Deep breaths. You cannot be seen as having been bothered by this. It'll just make you look weak.
"A decision, Your Highness?"
You steel yourself and smooth your hands over your dress. Swallowing hard you announce, "Five more minutes. We must afford His Majesty some more time before we make any brash decisions." The attendant simply bows. "Yes, Your Highness."
Clenching your jaw, you face away. Late to his anniversary ball... Simon Riley... please don't bring me to tears when my makeup has been done just so.
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The fairytale books made no mention of scheduled nights to lay with your husband. Neither did your mother, your tutors, or your ladies in waiting. There you sat on the bed of your marital chamber. The doors were shut, but it didn't stop the conversation right outside the door from leaking in. You listened to her beg him, your husband, not to lay with another woman.
Another woman.
As if you weren't her queen. Her monarch. The servants and guards were surely waiting with baited breath to share the news of the Kings mistress interrupting his time with the Queen once again. You knew that where the begging and sweet words failed, the tears would win. For the last several weeks Simon had rebuffed you in favor of her. Within minutes of his entrance to the marital chamber, the guards would announce her arrival and request for a moment of his Majesty's time.
But you would not be rejected again tonight.
You stand from the bed and slip your robe back over your chemise. You pay no more mind to the conversation outside the door as you drink down the rest of your wine and make your way across the room. Yet before you've even made it half way, the door opens and Simon appears. "My Queen, let-" "No need, my dear husband." The title of husband has carried a sour taste as of late. "I shall retire for the night and leave you to your affairs." Glancing behind him you see no one but the guards.
"You're leaving?" Surprised, you look back to Simon. For him to look so disheartened.... it saddens and angers you. You clench your jaw and swallow. "You clearly have other things to attend to. I will not keep-" "I turned her away." Simon rushedly cuts you off. "My Queen. My wife... please stay." You feel your pride fizzling away. Your eyes are wide and your body shivers. How could you turn down such a request? It's all you've wanted since your wedding. The attention of the man you were raised to love and adore.
"Of course I'll stay."
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"Who has approved of this!?" You cry out. "Surely not His Majesty, The King!"
The squire begins to confirm to you, that it was indeed the king, but you stand and cross the room before he can finish. You're out the door before your attendant can even rise from his seat in your office. A choruses of "Please, wait!" and "Your Highness!" echo after you in the hall as you beeline for the King's office. The guards cannot even finish announcing you before you're opening the doors and storming in.
"Your Majesty, surely you've sent me this request in jest." The document is placed squarely in the center of the desk over the rest of his papers. "Surely you do not intend to build a palace for your mistress with funds from the queens allowance."
It's only then, in horror, that you notice her. As Simon opens his mouth to answer you, a woman's voice interrupts. Her voice. "Your Highness, it is very uncouth of you to arrive in such a way unannounced." She acts completely scandalized as if she is the owner of this palace. It makes you sick, but you must maintain a semblance of composure in order to save face among the servants. "My Lady, I'd like to speak to my husband in private. Would you please leave us?" Being in her presence is the only time you address Simon so informally in public. It's a desperate act to remind her of her place that never seems to work. She looks at Simon. He works his jaw for a moment before dismissing her with a nod. The audacity to ignore you, The Queen, as if she has some position over you by being holding some of The Kings affections. Your blood pressure spikes at the exchange.
At the sound of the door shutting Simon sighs and leans back. "My queen... your allowance was barely cut into. Why would such an insignificant amount of gold provoke this type of reaction?" "Your Majesty, do you feign muteness to drive a reaction from me?" His expression gives nothing away. He must genuinely think this okay. You take a deep, shaking breath. "My husband... can you truly see no issue in taking from your wife, to give to your mistress?" His jaw shuts with a click of his teeth. Its a disgusting realization. That he must think of you as only The Queen, not as his wife.
You feel a familiar burn in your eyes.
One hand reaches and brushes it's fingers along the edge of his desk. "I believe I will be retiring early for the day, Your Majesty." Your hand retracts and folds in front of you again. "I'll be taking my evening meal in my chambers, you'll not be seeing me." As he rises from his seat he begins to hurredly speak. "My Queen-"
Your voice raises slightly, "I pray your evening is pleasant." And with an elegant curtsy, you take your leave.
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"Your Highness, the delegation has arrived in the banquet hall."
"Thank you, madam."
Your hands are wringing in your lap. He better not be late this time. You've worked on this treaty for months and for you to be embarrassed on your first meeting with the delegation would be the final blow to you pride. All you can do is sit in the Solar and wait, though. Your irritation growing by the minute. Even your lady's maid looks anxious. You decide to quietly ask, "Where was he last seen, Madam Dia?"
She hesitates and it answers the question before she even utters a word. "His Majesty was last reported to be in her chambers, Your Highness. Im sorry." The pity in her voice makes your stomach turn, but the anger that fills your chest overtakes your embarrassment like a tide. You take in a breath to calm yourself, so deep it hurts, and stand up. "I cannot wait this time. We must enter the banquet hall and greet the delegates." "Yes, Your Highness. I will notify the attendants." She begins to hurry to the door, but it abruptly swings open before she can reach it. Simon swoops into the solar with haste. Your lady's maid bows deeply before hurrying out the door. He looks at you out of breath. "Your Majesty, you must be truly set on fraying away every last one of my nerves."
Cringing, he responds, "Lady Tanya, kept me longer than I anticipated. Please forgive me." To utter her name in front of you... he must truly have taken leave of his senses. It enrages you even more. Your eyes flare and the anger loosens your tongue to a dangerous extent.
"Dear Husband, I could handle personal slights and dismissals, but for such important public events..." Your breathing is shaky, but carefully controlled. You approach until you're chest to chest, fixing him with a brutal glare. "Heartbreak is one thing, my ego is another. I beg you do not embarrass me today."
He's floundering for words as you walk past him and head for the Banquet Hall's entrance.
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cheolhub · 2 years
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DREAMS, FAIRYTALES, FANTASIES — CHOI YEONJUN + CHOI SOOBIN ࿐
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summary. ever the unconventional gift giver, yeonjun would rather give you something memorable for valentine’s day. what better gift than his smoking hot best friend?
wc. 2.67k
warnings. threesome! oral (m. receiving), light degradation (use of slut & stupid), heavy praise, heavy pet name use (baby, pretty, princess), shy!soobin <3, needy f!reader, teasing dom!jun, unprotected sex, creampie, facial — MINORS DNI 18+
note. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MY LOVES!! to everyone who voted in the poll for the yeonbinnie 3way, here it is ! i hope u enjoy it <3 kisses 4 u all 💋
p.s. reblogs and feedback are extremely appreciated— i also love to hear ur thoughts <3
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most boyfriends get their significant others chocolates for valentine’s day. maybe jewelry or roses or even a nice book, but yeonjun isn’t like most boyfriends. no, yeonjun is unlike any other man you’ve ever dated. he doesn’t want to gift you flowers that would die within days or shitty chocolates that make your tummy hurt– no. yeonjun wants to grant you memorable experiences. ones that’ll make you happy. ones that you’ll definitely remember. he wants all your dreams and fantasies to come true.
so if not chocolate and flowers… what does yeonjun gift you?
his best friend. choi soobin. 
he remembers the first time yeonjun introduced you to him and his other best friends vividly– like it was yesterday. to soobin, you were shy and so cute. just his type. but he started noticing small changes in your behavior every time he saw you. 
he noticed the moment things took off in your relationship with yeonjun. he’d only ever observed from afar, but he could just tell yeonjun was becoming more and more intimate with you as the weeks past; he just knew his best friend was corrupting you, the sweet girl he’d so desperately craved. you had gone from innocently twiddling with your thumbs and blushing to showing small acts of public affection to not-so-quietly begging yeonjun to fuck you in the car away from the guys because you couldn’t handle being empty for longer than a few hours. you turned into such an insatiable little thing, all yeonjun’s doing, of course– soobin knew that for sure. 
but yeonjun also noticed soobin’s desire from the get-go. soobin could barely hold eye contact with you and he’d blush every time you’d giggle or whine or tease– hell, you just needed to breathe in his direction and soobin’s all red in the face. 
once yeonjun knew you were completely comfortable in your relationship, he started implementing things he knew you’d love. i.e. toys, degrading names, and other people. other people being none other than the choi soobin. the soobin he knows you drool over and ramble about from time to time. all he had to do was talk to you. 
he did, and just as he suspected– you were all in. of course you were, he could tell from the second the question slipped his lips. 
he’d asked you weeks prior to valentine’s day. honestly… you barely remember the conversation. blood quickly rushed to your head and core when he suggested adding him to the mix for just a night. you remember the way you bit back a moan at the thought of his tall, broad, undeniably handsome best friend fucking you with a cock you just knew was huge. you remember trying to mask how turned on you got at the idea of it all– the both of them at the same time– and ended up shifting in your seat, nearly grinding your wet cunt against your sofa. you remember yeonjun fucking you on the very same sofa not long after you agreed, calling you a needy slut for wanting two cocks and for nearly cumming untouched over the idea of soobin fucking you.
so, yes, the conversation was a blur, but you do remember agreeing.
you still found yourself very surprised when yeonjun showed up at your apartment on valentine’s day with soobin trailing awkwardly behind him.
“happy valentine’s day, princess,” yeonjun smiles beautifully and your heart flutters at his unbelievable charm. “brought soobin over since he was all alone, hope that’s okay?” he knew it was one hundred and ten percent okay, but he loves hearing your verbal responses. especially in times like these where he knows you’re needy and excited to be ravished by him– by him and soobin now.
soobin feels his pants tighten at the sight of you. he wonders if there’s anything under your hoodie. or if there’s anything past your cute little shorts. he thinks about the silky material being soaked by your folds. how wet you could be. how much prep it would take to fit inside your pussy and– god, what do you feel like? will you wrap around him like he’s dreamed? will you milk him for what he’s worth? fuck– he needs to stop. he’ll cum before you could even be within arm's length of him if he doesn’t.
“y-yeah…” you blush and soobin can’t help but think back to when he first met you and how you were acting the same way then. cute and shy. “hi, ‘binnie,” you walk up to him to give him a quick, friendly hug. 
the height difference has his hard-on pressing into your tummy and his breath hitches, but so does yours. he’s fucking huge. in more ways than one. yeonjun just smiles while watching this unfold, his best friend and his girlfriend exchanging greetings… if they could even be called that. 
he stuttered, looking down into your eyes, “h-hi.” you smell so fucking good to him. 
“hi,” you parrot, mind forgetting that you already said that. you can’t seem to rid the memory of his cock though. even through his pants, you could feel the shape, the size, the perfection of it all. 
yeonjun stifles a laugh and you quickly snap out of your thoughts and the mini-staring contest you didn’t realize you were having with him. “baby?”
your voice comes out thick, dry, “yeah?” you turn to see a cheeky smile spread across his face. 
“you wanna go to your room ‘n wait for us?” he asks but you see in his face he’s not really asking, he’s telling you. you nod, padding over to your shared room to wait for the boys. your boys. 
only then do you realize how lucky you are to have yeonjun and not only that but have him so willing to share you with his best friend of many years. then you realize again– you’re going to have both of them tonight. you’ll get to feel both of them filling you to the brim, stretching you out, making it work– making themselves fit like a glove. 
you find that soobin is a soft kisser when they finally come into your room. quite the contrast from your playful lover. you start with a peck, barely letting your mouth open out of mere shyness, but gradually, the kiss gets more and more heated. his lips are plush as they glide against yours, tongue slipping into your eager mouth. he’s letting out tiny whines while he’s heavily breathing through his nose and you see that he’s just like you– someone who easily gets worked up by a little makeout session. 
yeonjun smiles, watching the two of you. he grows harder in his jeans at the sight of you breaking out of your bashfulness and reverting back to your needy self as you are with him. with your arms wrapped around soobin’s neck, you move to straddle him and his large hands laid flat against your back, pulling you deeper into him. 
when you finally break from the kiss and blush at your current position, noticing the way your half-covered cunt is just above his clothed bulge. your eyes quickly avert to yeonjun’s, silently asking if this was okay. 
he comes to the edge of the bed where soobin sits, patting your head. “‘s all good, princess, want you to feel good, alright? make soobin feel good, too, he’s been dreaming ‘bout this a long time.” yeonjun outs soobin and he blushes furiously, sending his best friend an incredulous look.
your eyes come back to soobin, “you have?” you whisper, core aching at the thought. you’ve been dreaming about both of them for a long time, too. 
he nods his head slowly, surely embarrassed. 
you let out a sharp breath, rolling your hips against his. “i really want you to fuck me.” you murmur, dreamily sighing out your following words, “both of you.”
and that’s how you ended up in your current position on your knees with your ass raised in between yeonjun’s legs.
“don’t be so gentle, soobin, she can handle it,” yeonjun grunts, hands tangled in your hair, gently tugging at the strands between his fingers. “isn’t that right, beautiful?” 
you hum, looking up at your handsome boyfriend through your wet lashes, attempting to nod your head. he looks so good back pressed against your headboard while you reside in between his legs, but you know he thinks the same of you, if not more. your mouth is full of his cock, hands splayed over the top of his thighs as your pretty, painted nails dig into the muscles causing a delicious sting for your masochistic yeonjun. 
soobin was so nervous when you asked him to fuck you. not only fuck you but fuck you raw– promising all will be well with your overly needy and whiny voice. eventually, he couldn’t resist, the offer being too good to pass up. 
you were drooling from the second he showed you his pretty, flushed cock to when he pushed into your tight, dripping hole to now. he’s taking yeonjun’s words into consideration before slamming into you harder much like he’s been deprived of pussy. 
your face scrunches up in pleasure as you choke over your boyfriend's cock. said boyfriend moans out loudly, “that’s it, baby, is binnie making you feel good?”
you pull off him, gasping and eyes screwing shut, “yes! yes, binnie, you’re making me feel so good!” you praise soobin and his grip on your waist tightens. 
yeonjun pushes you back onto his length, thrusting at a nice pace into your mouth concurrently muffling your moans and whines. his grip on your hair tightens and his eyes nearly roll back– your mouth is always so fucking good to him. 
“such a perfect little slut, taking me ‘n soobin so well, baby– fuck, so so well.” he groans before looking to soobin. “tell her what a good girl she is, soobin.”
you clamp tightly at your lover's words, a high-pitched sound making its way out your mouth full of cock. 
soobin’s hips stutter as he feels your gummy walls contract around him, enveloping him oh-so enticingly. “s-such a good girl, Y/N– so tight ‘n pretty,” he moans breathily, fueling your ego. 
you nearly cum on the spot, digging your fingernails deeper into yeonjun’s crescent-marked thighs. you muffle out a ‘thank you’ body taking a mind of its own as you push your hips back desperately to meet his. you don’t forget about yeonjun either, letting your throat constrict around his long cock. 
yeonjun notices how the praise spurs you on, “you just love being called pretty things, don’t you?” he chuckles airly, brushing your hair out of your face and admiring the way tear streaks coat your flushed cheeks. 
“love it, junnie,” you say, taking a break from constantly gagging on your boyfriend's heaven-sent dick, replacing it with one of your hands instead. “love it s’much.”
“pretty girl,” he coos, thumb brushing against your swollen lips. “look so pretty taking it all for us.” his thumb slips past the pillowy muscle allowing your lips to warp around the digit. he basks in the way you moan, eyes trained on him. “shit, bet soobin wishes he could see you looking like a mess right now.”
soobin moans loudly at this because, god, yes, he would kill to see you right now. he would kill to see you in tears over getting fucked by him and his best friend. he would kill for the way your pussy is swallowing him whole and grasping onto him for dear life. 
mindless and unaware, soobin’s thrust grew harder, pushing deeper, tickling that spot. he feels like he may burst any moment and then he hears yeonjun say his name, causing him to halt. 
“‘s not fair that i’m the only one who gets to see her,” he says, a devilish smirk overtaking his features. his eyes divert back to yours, “on your back for him, baby, let him see what a pretty princess you are.”
you nod eagerly allowing your boyfriend to move out of the way so you can switch positions. your back hits the mattress and you finally take in soobin’s appearance. silky hair sticking to his forehead, pink lips swollen and parted, chest huffing– he looks like a dream. 
he could say the same and more about you, though. he’s sure he’s gonna fall in love with you if he stares at you for a second longer, but he’s just so mesmerized by you that he can’t tear his eyes away. you’re more than a dream, more than a fantasy– you’re a fucking real-life princess. 
“put it in me, ‘bin…” you whimper, nimble fingers moving to toy with your clit to avoid losing momentum. “please? wan’ it so bad, baby.”
soobin curses under his breath, the pet name making him twitch. now he knows he’s gonna fall in love with you. he knows it isn’t just because it’s valentine’s day.
he slips his bulbous head back into your soaked cunt, groaning when he feels you stretch to take him again. he’s gonna die, he knows it.
your eyes roll and your back arches with a whine leaving your lips. “‘binnie, ‘s so good, so so so good.” 
yeonjun snickers, “stupid girl.” he pinches your nipples, rolling the perky nubs between his fingers while soobin fucks into you eagerly. 
you gasp at the onslaught of pleasure, eyes screwed shut and a stream of moans and cries leave your mouth. to yeonjun’s surprise, you blindly grab at his cock, stroking it with your free hand. 
“fuck, baby.” your boyfriend moans out when you squeeze the girth in your contrastingly small hand. “not too fast, shit.” his words are breathy and you just wish you could open your eyes to see how gorgeous his god-crafted face looks at this moment. 
“wan’ you both to cum– fuck, please cum for me– ‘m so close.” you cry as soobin’s cock finds your sweet spot again, ramming against it with every stroke. “s-soobin! inside, please cum inside me!” you beg him, rubbing your clit faster and gripping him like a vice. 
“pretty girl.” soobin whines the pet name out and you gasp, mind fuzzing over the sound of his voice and the cute name he’s called you. “shit, ‘m cumming.”
“f-fill me up!” 
at this, soobin chokes, hips stilling as he feels himself cum. you’re suddenly filled with warmth and it practically triggers your own orgasm. the tightrope in your tummy unraveling as you coat his cock in your arousal, a near-silent scream leaving your mouth.
you lay there and he fucks you through his orgasm, the aftershocks leaving you shaking and shivering under the men as you languidly pump yeonjun’s still-hard cock. 
“junnie,” you whine, teary eyes finally opening to see how he’s looking at you like he wants to devour you. 
he grunts, “so fuckin’ cute, baby, my cute lil fucked out princess.” his rambling makes you realize he’s close just at the sight of you. he’s twitching and throbbing in your hands and you just smile nonchalantly.
“please cum on my face, baby.” you purr, regaining strength and pumping his wet length with more vigor. “make a mess on my face, junnie.” 
he moans when you stick out your tongue expectantly, sitting up on his knees and replacing your hand. he comes faster than you think, breathily calling out your name and curses. his seed shoots across your face, some of it landing on your tongue and some landing on your chest. 
the room is filled with soft pants as everyone tries to recollect themselves. after a few minutes pass, yeonjun pipes up. 
“did you like your valentine’s gift, princess?” he asks with a smug grin. 
you and soobin both laugh before you look between the two unbelievably handsome men and you give him the most honest answer you can conjure up.
“i loved it.” you whisper. “but i think it’s your turn to fuck me and soobin’s turn to watch.”
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© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.
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thewriteblrlibrary · 9 months
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A Step-by-Step Marketing Guide so we can spite traditional publishers (and make people cry).
~ This is a guide specific for fiction/writeblr. All of this is for free and there is little social media posting/ads involved (unless you want to venture into that). ~
Within the writeblr spheres, there's this underlying hope that our stories will find their audience. Perhaps we'll have a fandom full of fanart and video essays, or maybe we'll be an instant classic and sit on collectors' beloved bookshelves. Our stories could sit within the deepest corners of someone's heart and maybe they never tell a soul about what's so special to them. Maybe our stories become those 'underrated masterpieces'.
Or we just want to see people ugly cry over our writing.
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Whatever your hope may be, marketing is an important path to venture on (especially because traditional publishers are rejecting diverse books in favor of ones that are already famous + the whole sub-par machine thing they seem obsessed with.)
And thus, my childhood marketing obsession will hopefully be of use to you. This is all for free (unless you want to spend money) and you don't need to figure out social media platforms (unless you want to, and this guide works if you decide to take that route too.)
Step One: Characters
Marketing spheres will define these fictious people as 'avatars' or 'the target audience'. You could also call them characters. Because that's what they are: fictional people.
For this step, you shall create characters that would love your story.
And here's some great news: You've already done this.
Perhaps you wrote your story to comfort a prior version of yourself. Perhaps each character in your story holds an aspect of your personality. Perhaps you were ridiculously self-indulgent and made the story you would've loved to read. These are all possible characters you can reuse for marketing.
Write down 2-4 quick archetypes for these characters. You'll chose an aspect of your story (characters, themes, or the younger-self that you wrote it for) and write a thumbnail sketch. (Main issue, fears, wants, personality traits if they relate to the main issue.)
I'll do it for my story (the Land of the Fallen Fairies) down below:
Anuli-like (my MC): Overthinking and aloof. Wants a happy ending but thinks their current personality/character isn't good enough for one. The present stales in comparison to the past/the childhood they lost. The 'gifted theater kids'. Kamari-like (side character): Postpones happiness in favor of creating a perfect schedule/getting accomplishments. Heavy masking. Creative but doesn't create anymore. Promises themself they'll enjoy themselves later, when they've earned it. Workaholics. My younger self: Wanting a fantasy escapism to embody the traits they wish they had in real life. Dissatisfied and worried about reality. Perfectionists. Self-indulgent: People who love plants and forests and fantasy worlds far away from reality/humanity.
Great! Now it's time to find these characters.
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Step Two: Setting.
(Let's assume you're using the internet for your marketing. But a similar method works for real life too.)
Where do the characters live?
In order to figure that out, we need to discover the characters' interests, what they watch to solve their problems, and who they find #relatable.
(You can do this for each character or for all the characters at once.)
For example:
Anuli-like -
interests: Stories. Analysis videos. Fantasy escapism. Things that remind them of their childhood. (so nature, warmth, comfort, play, imagination and the times they would actually enjoy learning.)
Places to look: Nature quotes, ambience videos, children's shows and fairytales (comfort shows). Fandom culture - fanfic video essays, fan art.
Solving problems (the problem being wanting a 'happy ending' but feeling that their personality/lifestyle/characteristics aren't right for one): Mindfulness things. Self-healing. Quotes and meditations and candles galore. Slow living. Nature vlogs. Self care. All that 'live in the moment' culture.
Places to look: Slow living. Nature vlogs. The 'softer self-help' (spirituality stuff. Magic/ overnight answers). Witchcraft. 'aesthetic nature' places. Guided meditations.
#relatable: Burnt out gifted kids. People who think so much that their life passes them by. Storytellers and creative who create to make sense of the world. People who like dark, gory things in spite of who they want to be. People who don't like reality.
Places to look: Those 'learn better and remember everything' places. (The 'burnt-out gifted kid' recovery places.) Stop overthinking spots. Those quotes on Pinterest from poetic people who think too much /aff. Storyteller places. Dark academia. Classical music. One off quotes/ poetry.
Okie dokie. Once you have this, find channels, social media accounts, blogs, songs, books, etc. that fit with the categories you wrote down. (They should appeal to the characters) You can search up some of the terms you listed into searches and see who pops up. Bonus points if you find people that overlap with multiple sections.
I know I didn't include booktube or booktok in here. You can if you want too. But those can be a bit... 'consume these 500 books'. You also want to find other places where people who would like you story live, even if they don't follow booktube or booktok.
Congrats! Now you know where your characters live!
Step Three: the scary part
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Take everyone you found on your search for the settings and write them down a list. Make sure you get an email/contact info. (they usually list them somewhere under 'for business inquires') Also feel free to watch their content and get to know what attributes these settings have.
And now... we talk to them. about our stories. You can do it. I believe in you.
This called 'pitching your product' in marketing spheres. But you can be informal about it.
I know it can be difficult to talk about your work, so here's a tone to have:
'I made this thing I like and I think you'll like it too'.
What you'll do is send an email (or dm) that goes like this (inspired by Creative Hive on youtube):
Hi [name],
[Genuine compliment]
[Quick sentence or two about your story. Include the themes and who it appeals to. If you have a logline/sentence summary, include that. But I find that the underlying themes and 'who's it's for' is more engaging.
For my story, I might say something like.
I've written a story you might enjoy, since you like [interest]. It's called the Land of the Fallen Fairies. It's a nature-themed commentary on the pursuit of happiness and fixing yourself to deserve that happiness, told by an overthinking, unreliable, houseplant narrator. It was supposed to comfort me when I got frustrated with myself and my happiness chasing, and I hope it can comfort others too.
(That's probably a bit long and I can trim it down a bit.)
You can phrase it like a gift if you want too.]
[Call to action.
'If you like it, I'd appreciate a mention on your [platform].
I know this part may be difficult to mention (imposter syndrome is not fun.) But I promise that if they do like it, they'll be happy to mention it.]
If they don't respond within... four-ish days? (A week at most). then you can include a follow up. For this you can include a template with info about your story. This way it's easy for them to talk about your story.
The template:
title
genre
blurb
Author
where to find the book
Bonus points if you have an additional, physical thing to send them.
Congrats! Now do this pitching process a few times until you've covered most of your bases. (Pitch to as many people as you can. It will get more comfortable as you do it. Play your favorite song and don't let yourself think too hard about it.)
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The benefits of this process are that you find people that are already interested in the themes and vibes of your story (in comparison to to ads, which get shoved in everyone's faces.). Someone your audience already trusts will talk about it, which means you don't need to do all this trial and error to find your audience and make content for them.
It's basically a bunch of people talking about something they like!
AND you diversify your audience across niches, but with an underlying theme/interests. Booktok/booktube must appeal to everyone, so it's a hit or miss for recommendations. (Unless there is someone that specifically does one genre/type of story.)
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From here you can do fun little things to build up hype and make the book launch feel like this fun event. (I love it when that happens so here's my thoughts about trying to create an event with your story... although that may require another post entirely.)
preorder goals
charity goals
Arg's and puzzles
fund with side plushies and trinkets
Book blog tour
book boxes
as many memes as you can make
rewards (like bookmarks or posters or smth) that people can get for supporting
Talk about the process of creating your story. I know this one channel called 'Dead Sound' that creates 'making of' videos for his short films and they are some of the best videos on youtube.
Okay dear storyteller! Now go forth and share your story with the world!
Additional resources:
Creative Hive <-- a youtube channel that goes through the pitching process.
This video is also very good <-- Haven't watched the rest of the channel but I assume it's also good.
One of the best marketing channels on the internet (the videos are actually entertianing to watch.
Seth Goldin <-- I read his book and took the parts I liked and modified for storytelling marketing.
Dead Sound <-- propaganda to watch the short film series he has (he did the whole 2-d 3-d style wayyyy before spiderverse did... and he's one person making these. One person. It's amazing.
Glitch <--- If someone can figure out how The Amazing Digital Circus was marketed then I will pay you money. It seems to be a lot of memes and funny things.
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