#Faith brainrot does that to a man

[slashrabbitbunny]

Face your Fears ❤️🐰❤️

(Alt colour and doodles underneath)

[matsunoluvr]

୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ when the love and deepspace boys get jealous

warnings: pouty men, jealous xavier is a warning in itself, sorry if i mischaracterise…. and i also have favourites LOLL

characters: sylus, zayne, rafayel, xavier

link to master list here!

author notes: all i can think of is pouty rafayel and jealous xavier my brain is a melted goop of lnds brainrot… also sorry for not posting in a while i was on holiday!!

also quick reminder that i have requests open but 1. i’ll get to them slowly and 2. please read my pinned post about rules!

more under the cut ~

out of the four men i think sylus is the least jealous - now let me elaborate that possessiveness and jealousy (in my eyes) are very different

if you talk to another man, sylus both trusts you and has enough faith in himself to know that no matter what the dude does, sylus is yours and you’re his

he trusts you 100%, without a shadow of a doubt. and this translates through his lack of jealousy when you spend time with other people

however, if the man even attempts to lay a finger on you, his tone becomes too sweet or his hand inches a bit too close and you’re getting uncomfortable?

you bet your ass sylus is interfering.

immediately shifts his body to create distance between you and the other party

he flashes a dangerous look at the other man, evol glowing dangerously as it whispers a small warning into the other’s ear

“Stay away and you get to stay alive.”

he seriously doesn't fuck around when it comes to your comfort and safety, and if he feels that another man is compromising it or pushing the boundaries it really ticks him off

when does sylus get jealous?

mostly when you start to spend less time with him and more time with others

it’s not as if as soon as you spend time with someone else he gets jealous, but if it causes you to start to ignore him/spend less time with him he gets jealous

when he gets jealous, he doesn’t hide it at all

sylus isn’t one to keep his feelings from you, so when you see his displeasured frown you know immediately something is up

he doesn’t get angry or petty when jealous, he just makes it clear that he’s not happy with the division of attention

when you ask him what’s up, he gives you the answer plain and simple

“Getting bored of me already? How come you’re spending more time with […] than me, I’m jealous.”

his voice is slow and clearly unimpressed, crossing his arms as he looks you up and down.

luckily for you, he’s not hard to win over

spend time with him, even if it’s not active such as going out to restaurants or to one of his formal events

the two of you sitting in comfortable silence, him reading a magazine and you looking through moments, that’s more than enough for him

he’s not opposed to displays of physical affection either, cuddling or kisses to his face - anything that tells him “you’re mine/i’m yours” will satisfy him

just make sure not to spend TOO much time with the other person, otherwise sylus might seriously hunt them down

he’d never make you jealous on purpose, he had no interest in other women/men at all and respects you way too much to pull petty moves like that

when sylus accidentally makes you jealous, he’ll definitely pamper you, spoil you with gifts and spend time with you

wanted to get the new limited edition plushie? he’ll stay in the arcade with you until you get all of them. wanted a new game on steam? he’s bought both the game, all the dlcs and any in game passes and currency.

Somewhere at some point during the day he'll simply come clean about it, after all he's a straight forward man and he trusts you.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to make you jealous. Forgive me, please?"

tldr; sylus is a love sick loser that knows you’re equally in love with him as he is with you

here goes the award to the most composed LI - zayne gets jealous alright, not nearly as much as the coming two but he still gets jealous

it's not that he doesn't trust you, but watching you smile so brightly to the café employee or get a little too friendly with another doctor sets him on edge

if you're talking to male friends/giving them friendly hugs zayne's completely fine with it, he's happy to see you surrounded by people who care for you and for you to be happy too

at first it's hard to tell when zayne gets jealous, he has a poker face that would put lady gaga to shame

however, after a while you discover the few subtleties that give away his disgruntled state

for example, if you're talking a bit too excitedly or friendly to the barista - especially one you'd both met just today - there'd be a little crease in his forehead, his mouthwould be a fraction more downturned and his eyes a bit narrower as if he was squinting

or if you talk to him about a male colleague when you two were supposed to be out on a date, he'd definitely be jealous... however the only give away would be the faintest purse of his lips and twitch of his eyebrow

if you ask him if he's jealous he's going to deny it, he usually doesn't lie but when it comes to vulnerable emotions such as jealousy i feel he'd have difficulties expressing them

"Jealous? I'm not jealous, don't worry about me."

but then the right side of his mouth is twitching a little and if you focus hard enough he gives the impression of a kicked puppy, a very subtle hint of 'give me attention'

if you manage to learn the art of 'zayne expression reading' and finally notice that he's not 'lactose-intolerant-and-having-stomach-issues-causing-him-to-look-like-that' but in fact jealous, here's a few ways to heal your zayne!!

zayne specialists recommend a good dosage of subtle affections - e.g. bringing up one of his interests or reminiscing upon something you two did in the past, basically indicating to him 'hey, i still love you most in the world!'

he's a perceptive man and will pick up on what you're doing relatively quick, and his little grumpy face will relax back into the unconscious, soft smile he adopts when in your presence

if he accidentally makes you jealous, he makes sure you know more than anyone else in the world that he's yours and yours only.

reciprocates the small gestures such as holding your hand in public or introducing you to his colleagues

"Good afternoon to you too. I believe you haven't met [Y/N] before?"

and then he'll adjust his hand placement, sliding from patting your shoulder to gentle resting on the small of your back, a little intimate gesture that screams "I'm their partner."

makes sure by the end of the day he's got the message across, and at one point brings it up (even though you've basically forgotten what he did to make you jealous anyways)

"I didn't mean to upset you, [Y/N]. I love you only, no one else could replace you, I promise."

okay, yeah, we made it to jealous, pouty, bratty man territory

there’s an evident gap between zayne level jealousy and rafayel level jealousy

don’t get me wrong, rafayel would do anything you asked of him - partially because of his whole lumerian bond and also because he’s utterly whipped for you

does he love you? that’s a stupid question to ask oh course he does… but does he truly trust you?

i’d like to think that rafayel (if he was dating you in this situation) is absolutely devoted to you and trusts you wholeheartedly, but in reality rafayel has deep engraved fears and uncertainties

he has a fear of being forgotten about, and likely (as a consequence of being forgotten multiple times) - the idea of being abandoned or replaced sends physical chills down his spine

so honestly, rafayel’s jealousy stems from the unwavering fear of being left alone, lost and forgotten again…

the pain of being forgotten, it’s not something he’s willing to go through any more, causing it to be difficult to fully reassure him that you’re his.

on a more lighter, more playful level, rafayel’s jealousy would probably lay with animals - specifically cats and sea creatures

one day he finds that instead of lazing about with him indoors, that you were outside napping with a cat on your lap

if he wasn’t so afraid of the cat concerned for your quality and length of sleep he would’ve had a go at the cat as it smirked triumphantly at him, licking its paws as it rolls around in your lap.

when complaining later on he would be his usual, petulant self, pouting and crossing his arms, tilting his chin up etc

“I guess you prefer those furry monsters over a fishie like me, why don’t you just leave me for one?”

to fix this petty brattiness is simple!

simply devote all your attention and affections to rafayel, as in when you two are alone and spending time together you can just pat his head or trace his beauty marks

he’ll be pouting the whole time, but after a few pats he’ll get embarrassed and his ears will go red as he says something like “I’m not a cat…” yet he still lets you pet him lol

rafayel especially likes it when you gently stroke at the roots of his hair, leaning into your touch a little every time you thread deeper into his hair

however, if you spend too much time with another man rather than rafayel, it’s a whole different type of jealousy/insecurity

he’s quiet, too quiet, and withdrawn

the situation was deeply confusing the first time around

it’s as if you ordered the wrong rafayel, what happened to his usual bratty and playful personality? this wasn’t like all the other times.

unlike his childish display of jealousy when you were with the cat, this time he had a schooled expression, blank, a facade

his expression was eerie, you’d never seen him like this, so… emotionless seeming

rafayel, really, was emotionally detaching from the relationship - he still loves you oh my god he adores you so much he’d sacrifice everything he had for you, but the idea of you preferring that other person over him?

it sends him into panic, and all he (believed he) could do was numb himself, anticipate the leave or him getting forgotten

(am i projecting too much here… avoidant attachment rafayel believer and lover 😞🙏)

if he withdrew from the relationship first, maybe it would hurt less being left again

of course you weren’t intending to leave him, so how do you fix this?

well, as unhealthy as this may seem, spending less time with the new person and more time with rafayel really would be the only way i could think of making him feel better

saying things such as “Rafayel I would never leave you.” can only provide him with short-term reassurance, after all how many times have you said that before and then still proceeded to leave him?

instead, caress him gently, give him time to feel safe in the relationship again. late night calls where you two fall asleep together or hold him in your arms as you two both sleep at night

this avoidant attachment style will, however, probably go when you two start dating, since in dating you rafayel has probably decided to let you into his heart and whole heartedly trusts you now :)

if rafayel accidentally makes you jealous, depending on the severity (again) here’s what he’d do

if it was a simple thing (such as spending too much time with the shakes idk something more tame) he’d definitely tease you

“Awwh cutie? Getting jealous of the sharks? Don’t worry, I prefer you over them any day.”

he’ll have this smug ass grin that pisses you off, as much as it makes you love him too

rafayel will give you more hugs and gifts than usual for a while after, claiming it’s ‘nothing’ and that you’re ’hallucinating things’ when you ask what he’s doing

really he’s apologising, but you don’t need to know that

if he made you really jealous/upset he’ll make is extremely clear to you that he belongs to you, his heart and will is yours

will become more clingy and affectionate with you (not that he does it on purpose infact he’s only showing his true desires more), forever. like, you get jealous? don’t worry, literally for the rest of your life you’ll know that rafayel is head-over-heels for you.

tldr: he needs a hug :( also i ended up writing way more than intended but im a rafayel lover, writer and if he has no stans left im dead

here he is, the most jealous and arguably possessive man in lnd.

xavier tries to hide it, but everyone knows that he’s yours, without a shadow of a doubt

we all saw what happened with jeremiah, don’t make me pull out the receipts LOL. like jeremiah was just happy to finally see the girl xavier was lining over for centuries and xavier was already losing his shit 😭

literally anyone talking to you too affectionately will tick him off, but xavier’s too sly to make it obvious

you’re talking to a doctor (cough zayne) ? xavier brings up some sort of old medicine they don’t or asks about their speciality so you stop talking to them

talking to a protocore specialist? he’ll all of a sudden be holding a textbook worthy protocore, worth the poor persons whole shop

a florist? he’s pointing at every flower and naming them, both common and scientific name.

“Oh [Y/N], look at that flower. I believe it’s called a Lonicera periclymenum?”

*turns to face the clearly shocked and flustered florist with a polite smile*

“Well, maybe you know it as a honeysuckle, is that correct?”

after living for so long he’s learnt many things, and boy does he use it to his advantage

when xavier gets jealous, he doesn’t expect anything from you, no no, this man is a service boyfriend if i’ve ever seen one, he was MADE to please you

rather than thinking “oh you don’t like me anymore i’m so upset“ he thinks “i need to serve and show you i’m yours.”

do you like sweet things? he’s buying you chocolates of all kinds, if that’s not your jam he’s got pastries, or candy, or fresh fruit, maybe everything in a little gift box

prefer savoury foods? he’ll cook you a meal that he knows you like (even if you don’t trust the food) he’ll practice making it until you like it

if you talk about another person when you’re one on one with him, he’ll do little things to get your attention, maybe bite your finger softly or tuck hair behind your ear, little fleeting touches and such

cheeky little grins and conversational diversions such as 'Oh? What about you, how did you do in the exam?' or 'What were you buying in the supermarket?' - more ways of saying "i'm yours, don't forget"

but if you wanted to reassure xavier, physical affections such as cuddling and kisses can win him over

nap with him for a few nights (really he forgave you the first night, he just pretended to be grumpy with you for a while longer for more naps) and he’ll be satisfied (for now)

“Come cuddle with me starlight, I’ve still not forgiven you.”

(he’s lying, he forgave you like a week ago)

likes it when you play with his hair when you two cuddle - now this makes me want to write abt how the men cuddle lol

if he accidentally makes you jealous it’d probably be when the two of you are on a mission and he flirts with another woman to easily progress through a mission

the two of you are in the hotel room and you’re sulking in the bed, turning away from him and clearly displeased

xavier knows you’re jealous, and can only huff out an amused breath - he doesn’t like that you’re feeling bad but he’s happy that you’re jealous… means you like him as much as he likes you!

he gently walks over to the bed, shifting onto the duvet beside you and reaches out to touch your shoulder - making sure you’re okay with him touching you

if you let him, he’ll lie down next to you and slowly wrap his arms around you, spooning you from behind as he slowly kisses the top of your head

slipping your shirt down to just below your shoulder, he gives the skin of your back gentle kisses as he apologises

“I’m sorry, it was for the mission. I’ve only ever loved you, so please don’t be angry.”

and then he nuzzled into your back until you finally cave in, twisting around and hugging him back.

he’ll be seriously apologetic about it though, and in the future avoid such intimate forms of gathering information even *if* you told him it was okay

AN; i got way too carried away with rafayel ANYWAYS hope you enjoy and now i want to write smaller hcs on how the men cuddle lolol

also this isn’t proofread no beta we die like caleb ig

[sukunasurface]

Tailored Made Monster

content: princess!readerx HeianEra!sukuna, mention of cannibalism and death post-established relationship, down bad for you, mentions of having kids and killing people for love. Yandere Sukuna. Belief yet extremely badly mentioned of Sexual activity

Summary: all monsters deserve to live and you all willing to gave a helping hand to a 7 year old child just to regret 14 years later.

A/n: it's a Longer Ver of this. I have a really unfunny Brainrot for Kid!sukuna. So. Much so I open a blog to speak.

For any icky grammar mistakes I failed in English 4 times

"

What my little empress learned today?" The emperor Gently scoops a 5 Years year old to cradle her father eagerly enveloping her in a warm and comforting embrace in his lap. The emperor wisely runs his fingers to appease his belly in an effort to elicit a warm smile from his daughter. Which she does.

"A tiger may don the garb of a sheep" she replied

It's a unusual to call a father his daughter "his empress". Expect the fact lost of past Empress in a childbirth left an unavoidable void leaving his daughter his only successor to throne and official Heir.

"Such a wise Words from my little Empress" emperor Laughed.

"And now My little empress it's a time for Us to see your Favourite Deers in Forest isn't it" his daughter couldn't help but smile widely on the thought of spending more time with her father. Despite the misfortune Emperor faced by the hands of cruel faith. he was still able to secure a soft spot for the only family he had left. He leaned back on his horse back adjusting his position so that no evil vision can strike upon her, the little girl giggled and snuggled closer, her tiny hands clutching at his royal attire to lost in a green atmosphere or to the wonders of the world.

His calm demeanor shifted ever so slightly as she asked him about wild life lurking behind a shadow couldn't wait to buried long canines onto her soft flash. He listened carefully, nodding and answering questions where necessary. However, his thoughts couldn't help but drift back to the rumours around the state.

"A monster eating men.."

A cannibal?

His calm exterior was a mask hiding his burning rage and thirst for vengeance. Before he heard heart shattering scream. On a normal Account Emperor would Run into the deeper and Darkest Corner of The Forest To be able to see human flesh eating monster lurking around the corners but not now. Not when His only child is sitting right beside him.

"My little Empress you must always be careful," he said, his tone more serious than before. "Our enemies are everywhere, but you need to trust your father to take you back to back."

Maybe that was a faith or Cruelty of nature.

Emperor lost a track of his precious Daughter in a midst of chaos while he Lost his control over horse while a Foe's bow a pieced his Fore foot. Blinded by the sheer agony Poor Horse Resort to Throw everything on his back including The little Princess

"A Jungle is as Gentle as Cruel it's Get"

His cautious and confused gaze slid over to the little princess, his jaws still clenching down on the dripping flesh of the vile old man. He took a moment to swallow before speaking, the sound of bones crunching echoing through the otherwise tranquil night jungle. He couldn't be bother wiping the blood on his small body or his two sets of extra Limbs or eyes under eyes from sharp vision of all the beautiful creature as a once is still sitting is miserable position in front of her. Instead, he cocked his head ever so slightly, a faint glint of interest flashing in his crimson eyes. Maybe it was a pure curiosity which made him sit in front of her.

"I'm Hungry..?"

he respond in all the Unanswered questions he Can pin to himself. voice as steady as the deepest ocean currents.

Are you the Boy who ate his whole family?

Didn't you ate your twin brother in your mother's womb?

Since you born you only gave your late mother pain

and by the end you Ate her too.

A cannibal

"I -I was Hung-ry"

The boy's appearance did shock you - in the world you now lived in, such sights had become sin itself. A Royal Blood Should never be Tarnest by a single touch of a Monster Ryomen Sukuna is.

"I-. A- I- miss my father" You couldn't remember the last time you had been startled by anything. So You Can bearly put you Fingers down if you Answered him correctly. Your father's affection never allowed you to dreamed somewhat similiar to your circumstances.

Sukuna thought, forcing his four of eyes stays focus on her. He rubbed blood by back of his hand chewing the hard flesh in his mouth before swallowing it completely. Maybe a .. reward? He let out a sigh, a low whisper escaping his throat before he finally turned his full attention to her. With his mouth still half open, displaying his small protruding teeth corner of his lips, he spoke.

"Your father? The Great Leader of this kingdom?"

He said, his voice couldn't hide a hope of an opportunity. However, there was a hint of something else, something softer, hidden deep within those praise words. He couldn't quite understand why he trusted a cry baby marinated with a dirt. He was better than all these humans, yet here he was, sitting across from a crying princess in the middle of a jungle, listening to her talk about her lost father.

"I'm not Allowed near imperial palace but.. I know way out of Jungle"

He stood up from his crouched position, hunging his head as if he's criminal Guilty of being alive as A monster and all of his faith belongs to a small girl right in front of him. His extra limbs crossed behind his back a poor attempt to hide his monstrosity. as he did so, casting eerie shadows in the moonlight. "But," He continued, "My Lady You're not like them, those who unable to protect? You're different. You're...Strongest. you will paved your own way" He said the last word with a strange sense of empathy. He didn't know why he felt like hiding his extra limb or cover a mouth on his stomach even with all effort he could never hide his soul. A two sets of eyes.

"Let me Walk in front of you so My Lady you can Walk to your Home" A Monster kid Bows Rubbing his Forehead on dirt of Jungle praying to No one Let it once be him. For a Once.

"You ...Shall lead- me Home as my personal Guard"

He looked at You, his crimson eyes softening. "You Sit Back My lady. there's a river near And I need to wash my Face hands my Clothes," he blured all of his words gently; extending a hand towards her "just soaking is.. enough?"

Then he knew she was special. Maybe it was the fact that she could see past his monstrous exterior and passes kind words to emperor to let him live like others. And You did. It take a unexpectedly a shorter period of time of inconvenient amount of proposal to plea of mercy of a 7 years old child who eat his own family before he saw a blue sky lives in a kingdom even nears to a castle or her own "little Empress" and all its comes from a small pledge from his Side to never Dreamed of Holding a weapon or resort with violence and unwavering trust Emperor Had on a Monk system and education. Which only solidify for sixteen years.

"Ryomen San~ it's Such a Honour as a Lady of this Castle I still need to send words to my Royal Guard for visiting me"

Once a little princess is now a His royal Highness. The time you spend was evidently the way you can withstand in a Circumstance you've thrown into. You have grown, indeed. Your once small frame now holds the shape of a woman, although the innocence in your eyes remains unchanged. It's almost amusing how you've tried to mad just to forgive anyone under a single whim.

The young man looks at you.

"Well, My Lady that is quite the predicament, isn't it?" he finally replied, his voice as cold as the night air around them. He bows in front of her and settled onhis crouched position, his two sets of limbs tugged deeper In his torso. "My apologies My Lady. Ever since I've Taken Shrine under my wings my hands being full all the time."said it as if it was the most distasteful thing he could think of doing, but the truth was, he never adore having a workload to the Extend he Misses a Prime Motive of his existence. "My lady ship's Protection".

"I see I see Shrine is indeed holds More Value Than Me" You for sure upfront your distaste but Sukuna barely can reply as he already know one day this might come. Emperor must've shown him a kindness yet one way or another he will create a space between them he can never overcome.

"My Lady any Order for me?"

"Rises your head as you can see. I desires the Plum Fruit. Go and fetch me few"

He glances at the plum tree and then looks back at you, a slight amused smirk on his face.

"Plum, huh? My lady if that's all what you need me for.." he tired to muffle his laughter but failed miserably

"then Temple do seems hold more value"

His eye raise at your pout but I let the pitiful look slide. After all, you are More than his Lady. All he ever loved he only loved you. . Turning on his heel, he stalk towards the tree where the Plum Fruit grows, his pink hair shines like bright wave summer waves. he pluck it off the branch effortlessly with one hand, feeling the weight of it in his palm. he moves back to you where he hold plum fruit just so you reject it.

"is there anything troubling My lady?"

"No"

"Have i Commit Any crime My lady? If So i Am-"

"No! this plum fruit is For you. Many Many Congratulation for Turning 23 years old today"

Maybe it's a weight of This life or seer desensitization that when he decides to rise his head something Raw surfaces in his eyes. soft grumble escaped from deep within Sukuna's throat at the mention of his birthday. "I'm wholeheartedly grateful for you to even consider to Wish me Today. My lady" Sukuna bearly touched by a human concept at it's best all he does Is wonder if he's human Enough for that. . But as your eyes twinkled with Gentle love and happiness, his lips curved upward in a reluctant smile.* "Am I allowed to clear my thoughts?" *he muttered, whilst you nodded.

"How Can you be Sure that Today is a Right day?"

"Oh that... Well High Priest proved me all of your Records ages ago but I never feels like there's something in those record I might be unaware of. But I suppose I can't say that now"

".."

"And I think A day without Duties and delicious Meal is an Excellent Present for you"

"My Lady I'm always and forever grateful for you Our Royal Highness and all the priest But I wants to Surve you even Today" words dripping with shock yet a large magnitude of Gratification. But you could always see through his facade. recognizing the hidden hesitation in his voice.

"Sukuna No you're Not allow to Defy My Orders"

His fingers stiffen at her words for a moment before he resumed his absent-minded caress, gaze shifting back to the The lady standing in front of him. So Alive Yet So away The palace is alive with the summer crickets and birds; their calls echoing through the vast space. "how can I return debts of your kindness My lady?" he asked, bowing his head to in front of his only Lord a sole Subject of his prayers and Power with a monstrous Exterior it's easy to conclude that he's uncivilized and violent. Deep Down everyone near him knows he doesn't believe in any superior being than his Lady so when she Orders him to pledge never Rise a weapon. He devote himself in a cooking offerings to shrine and protecting his lady.

Sukuna's thoughts drifted back to his early days, when he was just a feral child fending for himself in these very woods he Is protecting for. The memory seemed like a lifetime ago now, replaced with prayers and protective ness . He wondered what that young Sukuna would have thought of this moment.

"I always Feel uneasy to know That Future Empress of the Greatest empire History might Ever say is Guarded by a Four armed Monster. How Can you Assure me Your Highness that Monster won't bury his Wild canine in a meantime?"

Possibly on the Bad Day Sukuna's might fall on his knee and help everyone to revisit all the time his loyality never fails. In sixteen years of his life if He ever touched his lady with his four arms collectively. But all these sixteen years helps him to get over from the idea to please everyone. He already comes to account that it's just a Waste of breathe. Without making his presence know he decided to abandon all the duties for today cause of a order placed upon him.

"Maybe drinking Sake will help me enough to get through the day"

His steps carry him towards the nearest liquor shop. quaint little store nestled between two larger brothels. As he enters, the nasty aroma of various body so does old sake fills his nose, and he takes a deep breath, savoring the familiar scent. He had never indulged in drinking himself, but something keep telling him that this is one the places he could blend. A palace women tries throw herself to be loved by him even its for a night or for gold coins. The sat on a table shortly after a owner approaches the him. "Good afternoon, lord Ryomen" the man says with a smile filled with fear.

"It's not often we see you in here during the daylight. To what do we owe this pleasure?" Sukuna couldn't help but smile at politeness.

"I am merely felt thirty " he replies curtly,

"Oldest Sake you have. I'm in mood to celebrate" The shopkeeper nods understandingly hurried back with a gorgeous curvy Women piled with used yet expensive jewelry he recognised many on a noble women. A true seductress. Oiran Sitting by his side. Pouring a short of sake.

"Lord Ryomen.. is a Sake is all you thirsty for?"

At the sound of the woman's voice, Sukuna's still expression unreadable. "Thirty, huh?" he echoes, considering her suggestion. "A blood will do" As words left his lips the silence around him was deafening before he laughed forcing others to join in. "The western liquor resemble blood in colour.. perhaps a Red Wine will do better" she forced a meek smile as she disappears to fetch his drink.

Crowd resettle and retraced the conversations. For a while Sukuna Appreciate The Crimson liquid catches the light, casting a warm glow across the wooden interior. He brings the cup to his lips, letting the familiar bitterness wash over his tongue. Maybe, just maybe, he could allow himself this one indulgence today. As he drinks, Sukuna's thoughts begin to wander. He pictures You, laughing and enjoying themselves without the burden of his constant surveillance. The thought brings a strange mixture of relief and longing. He wants His Lady to be happy, truly happy, without the constraints of their royalty and social responsibility. But at the same time, he yearns to be there. One of this favourite memories are the Child like Curiosity of yours wanting to know if similar to his half of body do he also possesses two hearts trapped in his chest?. To which he suggest her to listen his heartbeat to know the truth. Which You do. As you sit inbetween his open legs just you can press your left side of ears on his chest. Concluding That.

Ryomen Sukuna Processes only a One Heart.

Which he only let it beat for her.

"Prince Nanami is a Perfect Match for Our Princess!"

"I heard Prince Nanami receive his Primary Education from Foreign"

"This tell why colour of his hair is as Shiny as a bright as Sunshines"

" I understand this. He also Mastered 4 languages in such a short time. I can tell no one is better for our Princess than Prince Nanami"

"I can't wait for Prince Nanami and Our Princess's heavenly Union.

How long he it been to the day he Met you? Fourteen years? Fifteen years? Sixteen? Yes Sixteen years Sukuna's grip on fragile Cup tightens involuntarily at the mention of heavenly union. The only two words he cant attach to himself. From the Day he met You. There's a barely a day he didn't learned something new about You. He has all rights to claim that he knew 'His Lady' from the Root. Yet here you are Failing him. Failing him to teach that your name Is now going to attached mustard haired Royal blood. thought of You ever hurting him like that is almost unbearable. He bearly acknowledged his Nails digging inside his plam or the ever tarnished honor while he was rubbing his Nose on foot in a moonless night led by a candle yet witnesses by Darkness.

"My Lady-! You can! You CAN DISMISS THIS MARRIAGE PROPOSAL YOU CAN-!! I SAVED YOU FROM THE DAY I KNOW I EVER ONLY KNO-W YO-U!! MY LADY!-!"

the pain. He knows she will never consider to do something like that, but the insecurity is still there, gnawing away at him. He takes a deep breath before answering, trying to keep his voice steady. "M--My.. lady?" he says, looking her straight in the eye, "I'll trust that it's for a reason I don't understand yet." He leans in again, pressing a soft kiss to you foot. "And besides," he murmurs against her skin, "you'-." You pulls back slightly and fluffy Red Faced wiping the last tear strings.

"You're Dismissed Permanently From your All Royal imperial Duties from the Moment now.. Except Shrine."

"My Lady...?"

"This conversation never Happened only you wants to devote yourself to Temple and Shrine"

His grip on her feet loosen completely he heard the sternness in her voice, but he didn't look up, still unable to meet her gaze. His breaths were shallow, his heart hammering against his chest. He had never felt this vulnerable before, he was crying his four eyes out moaning and begging double the amount a man Can but He couldn't beg more In exchange of anything he can't ask you to gave yourself to him. He knew Prince Nanami was everything he can ever dreamed to be. but he couldn't.

"My Lady, your beauty is heavenly Unmatched"

"Of course it is. Our lady is a Bride today and Red embroidered her radiant beauty"

Room filled with chuckle and praise for the record. You looks heavenly in a Red kimono with haori symbol of prosperity and peacefulness. Temple was filled with elderly and all the imperial family members and guest to witness a union of love and mutual respect. If someone still asked you why you thinks that Prince Nanami is a perfect Match for you and Your Nation. You perhaps couldn't answer more than Prince Nanami's Extensive Knowledge and Understanding of imperial Affair, financial decision and fairly similar praisal as everyone present here and there.

You couldn't wholeheartedly say you missed presence of a Certain someone especially not when you scraped all of his rights and duties related to you. Not when he abandoned temple and shrine next following day. But there's a saying goes like

"River made it's own way"

When the melodious bell rings everyone's excitement of rises to the clouds. It's a time to witness union of Two souls made out of same stars. Stars which burns into brightest red before anyone can tell what it was before.

Red.

"The red hue of your kimono blends well with the blood-stained floor, my lady" Sukuna throws a severed Hand of an Old.

Just like old times.

Just like old times.

Sukuna's luke warm gaze swept across the carnage before landing on you. "Only if i didn't know you any better my lady. I must 've confuses your emotions with something else"

He was a picture of calm amidst the carnage, his pink hair standing out like a twisted rose among thorns. His crimson red eyes seemed filled Plea.With a heavy thud, his Slow step hit the wooden floor as he walked towards her, leaving a trail of crimson footprints behind him.

"I'm not allowed to beg or plea you anymore but My Lady I can't help to choose this."

The room fell silent, As He stopped right in front of You, his towering frame casting a menacing shadow over her petite figure.

"My lady..."

He breaths, his voice deep and commanding.

"I claimed you as Conquered Bride."

He said with a False authority, the corners of his lips curling upwards to reveal sharp teeth.

"My lady."

He extended his hand, in attempt to wipe tear dripping off her face yet proceed to smeared god prohibited who's blood. This ridicul him so well he couldn't help but laughted like a Monster He was

"Hmm.. It's a only Way I can gave you honour and reclaim mine. My.. love!?"

Sukuna chuckles coldly, a cruel gleam in his eyes. He leans even closer to her, studying her expression a slightly opened red stained lips. A sweet hue of red around her eyes due to excessive crying or red rising around edges of her haori. So beautiful so similar to his vary distinctive eyes.

"Yo-u... Ryomen-- sukuna... You .. I fought. . So hard for you.. from the day I know you I used my all power to save people see you as a.. monster but I.. you ruined it for me"

"What have I done? I have claimed you, my lady. I have made you mine, in the most primal and politically correct way possible. I have forge a War for you. And As for a monster"

With a swift motion, Sukuna reaches out to grab your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. So gently and with care you can't tell was he truly a same entity behind corspe laying around. His expression is unreadable

"You build me. You Tailor me so perfectly for yourself the horror of today happens. A man who lives and dies at your whim? A man who learned languages so you can enjoy all the poetry in the world? Man letting you test his monstrous Exterior let you listen my heartbeat so you know I have a singular heart? You Tailored Me."

although the betrayal in your eyes remains unchanged. It's almost amusing how you didn't even tried to hide it, but he see it clearly. You tremble before me as you did when he first laid eyes on you alone in forest unguarded with A monster.

"Now now Now Love. Act all flustered like a Little Bride and followed the the rituals of our Union"

"Master Are you Sure that Her Highness is Ready?"

Sukuna Ryomen, clad in his dark kimono. expression remained calm, his demeanor collected as he responded to Uraume.

"She's a Education woman. She won't go against to her husband on a first night whether she's grieving or not"

However, deep within him, a maelstrom of emotions brewed. He had taken her family, her home, and now claimed her as his own, yet she still had the power to affect him in ways he couldn't comprehend.

He walked into a room just before the weeping figure of yours in the dimly lit bridal chamber. He paused for a moment, observing her sorrow-stricken countenance and trembling shoulders, the light from the nearby lantern casting eerie shadows across the room. Inwardly, he felt a twinge of something unfamiliar, but quickly pushed it aside as he approached her with a measured gait.

"My lady," he said softly, his tone gentle despite the harsh reality of the situation. He knelt beside her, reaching out to gently lift her chin so that she would look at him.

"Ple-please just tonight Just for a nig-"

"You know I can't My Love-"

His fingers traced the line of her spine as he gently pulls her closer, similar when he does let her know he only have a singular heart. his thumb catches a stray tear.

"We'll keep it very soft and gentle is that alright?" he inquired, his crimson gaze holding her captivated. Despite the coldness in his eyes, there was genuine concern. "You're allowed to dig your nails or curse me louder if that's suits you more, understood?"

He silently looked over her blood on her haori is god know how many of people after her father he lost count, dear heaven how long he've been hiding his true nature For now, he simply offers comfort, pulling her closer into his embrace un volunteering tighten his grip on her to the extent he can hear her soft grasps for air

"My Lady," he whispered into her hair, allowing his hand to run down her arm soothingly. "Your tears stain my robes. Your own Haori is ruined by filthy blood. Let us not waste this night on sorrow. Instead, allow me to show you that I can offer you more than just this title." Sukuna's voice held a note of reassurance, but there was also an underlying determination. He would make her forget her sorrows, even if only temporarily.

"My Love," he said again, emphasizing his love this time. "I break the bridge between Us. Now. We. Are. One." His hand moved to cup her cheek, thumb brushing against her lips. Sukuna couldn't help but appreciate the softness of her skin against his calloused fingers. He leaned in further, closing the distance between them until their lips were almost touching. His other arm encircled her waist, pulling her closer. "Your hatred or Grief couldn't help you tonight. my lady." He pressed a tender kiss to her forehead before trailing his lips down to hers, capturing her mouth in a gentle yet insistent kiss. Despite his sexual innocence, Sukuna knew how to be persuasive

Sukuna continued to rain light, feathery kisses along your collarbone, her chest rising and falling with each shallow breath she took. "Such a pretty sight to have" he thought, unable to hide the satisfaction that coursed through him. His fingers trailed down her side, lightly grazing her ribcage before coming to rest on her hip. The heat radiating from her body was intoxicating, making it difficult for him to unleash his another set of arms to touch. However, he was determined to honor his word and be gentle.

His lips continued their path, moving to clothes in his way her bare skin, he can still heard her small gasp unaware whether it is because of kisses on her skin or pain in her chest. Sukuna smiled against her skin, enjoying her reactions immensely. His hand slid under her back, supporting her as he deepened the kiss, his tongue seeking entrance into her mouth. It's unclear whether she granted it or not, he groaned low in his throat, the sound reverberating through his chest. The sensation of their tongues tangling together sent sparks of electricity shooting through his veins, making his already strained self-control falter.

"This" he breathes heavyly while pointing on her bridal attire. "This needs to comes out." He speaks, trying to keep his actions slow and gentle despite the fire burning within him.

"Suk- Lord Ryomen Please don't do this to-"

Sukuna's eyes narrowed slightly at her words, a flash of irritation crossing his face. He hadn't expected such defiance from her, not after everything that had transpired. "Lord Ryomen?" he smirks,

"Why wouldn't I? Didn't you paid enough attention on your Bridal lessons?" His hand trailed up corners of her clothes stopping where a thick thin string holds everything out, gripping gently yet firmly. He leaned in closer, his breath warm against her ear as he spoke in a low voice.

"Or the monster you made isn't a monster you need"

his fingers deftly working to free her from its constraints.

"Come on my love. You're well educated and manner woman. I didn't need to explain you much do I?" Once it was loose, he pulled it away, revealing her naked form to his hungry gaze. He swallowed hard, his eyes taking in every inch of her body as if committing it to memory. His actions might have been considered possessive, but his touch remained tender as he ran his hands over her curves, exploring her softness. He wanted to learn every part of her, every sensitive spot that would bring her pleasure. As he lowered his head to kiss her lips again still enjoying that she quit protesting until she didn't , he was thrown back when he taste metal on his tongue yet didn't pulled out expected he grabbed her shoulder and gently back on bed.

Sukuna Ryomen cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the remaining tears. "My Love," he said, emphasizing her name, "Act like you're the Girl In love" His gaze was intense, as if he was Forcing her to believe him. "Act like my touch is what's keeps you alive."

Cause if you didn't.

He leaned in, his breath warm against her skin as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. his hands moving to encircle her waist.

"I'll make you do it. Brat"

[scratxhed-cd]

The spiderverse brainrot only worsens so:

- Rio telling Miles “it’s not your life it’s my life and your fathers and your abuelos who put you in this position that I’d give anything to be in” hits home when ur a first gen student from immigrant parents

- Miles’ teenage frustration being so irritating (looking at it from his parents POV), so understandable (from his own POV) And just so “relatable teenager energy” (from my memories of growing up/watching my siblings grow up)

- Miles’ family being his source of strength since the first movie

- Miles only finding the resolve in Into the Spiderverse to take his leap of faith as Spider-Man after his dad shared a very heartfelt message to him through his dorm door which beautifully sets up Miles telling Rio (in earth 42 but still) that he is strong because of his family, it’s always been family

- the queer symbolism of it all, from Miles’ fear in Across the Spiderverse (“I was scared that if I told you, you wouldn’t love me the same”) to back in Into the Spiderverse when he asks his dad if he really does hate Spider-Man after learning he must become the new Spider-Man

- the hints of the Morales’ Latino/Puerto Rican background !!!

- the Spanish! The Spanglish! Rio’s affection toward Miles! “Que dios te bendinga”, the relatives telling Miles how big he’s gotten, the way they say it, love it all

- Miles having a rough time speaking Spanish not only because he spends less time at home, but also because he has no friends to practice with

- Miles admitting he has no friends in his universe besides Ganke, who doesn’t appear to want to be very involved in Mike’s life as Spider-Man. While understandable, I think, it really does further emphasize just how lonely Miles is since he’s lying to his parents and the one person who does know his secret can’t relate to him

- the loneliness being sadder when you think about how easily Miles talks to people and how he seemed to have been more established at his old school

- and finally, rewatching Into the Spiderverse after seeing Across the Spiderverse and thinking about how Miles was just a kid when this all started

[zephrunsimperium]

Y'all... I have another AU ToT Bill got to be a human so naturally I made a completely different universe in which Ford is a demon. The brainrot is real and I wanna post stuff here soooooo

What I love about this AU is that I’ve put the twins in a world where their skill sets are valued at opposite levels than they were on earth. But I will say, this AU has developed so much that it's barely recognizable as having started from GF.

TW for death of a pregnant woman, spousal abuse/toxic relationships

Zeph's Demon Ford AU

Part I: Mortality

Stan is the leader of a thieving crew in an apocalyptic world called Scadrial. (I've based this part off of the world in Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy, but although I recommend it highly, I'll describe all of this so nobody has to have read it to understand.) As for Ford... He and Stan aren’t identical. Ford never bulks up like he does in canon. He likes to read and write but doesn't have much of an outlet for that - he’s just constantly journaling. He’s very quiet, but very spiteful. He doesn’t speak much and is very sickly and awkward. He also doesn’t sleep much so he’s got really sunken dark eyes behind longish dirty hair.

Stan obviously loves Ford very much, but the crew members are kinda pissed that he’s there because they feel like he doesn’t do anything and yet he gets paid for their work. At one point his journal gets stolen and he’s outed for his crush on one of the (male) crew members. This really weakens Stan’s reputation and the crew pulls a coup.

The twins end up on the streets and Ford just feels awful; he was utterly humiliated and the crew members really roughed him up. He hated feeling so weak. He also starts having awful nightmares; he's being targeted by a dream demon named Korro. The demon repeatedly asks Ford to make a deal with her, but Ford refuses again and again. Ford ends up killing a nobleman; for his pocket change, but really to prove something to himself. The noble's murder attracts the attention of law enforcement and he and Stan are captured. Before they're executed, Ford decides to take the demon's deal.

Part II: Fiddleford

Ford and Stan spend years as the demon's servant, until Ford is able to overthrow her, taking her power for himself. He received the powers of the dream demon and Stan received the power of a shapeshifting illusionist. They were left with a problem, however: if Sixer didn’t get enough worship, both he and Stan would die. Taking the name Sixer to separate himself from his younger, weaker self, he devised a strategy where he would find a mortal to seduce, squeeze all the worship he could out of them, kill them, and live off of the power until he needed to find someone else.

Eventually, Sixer started conning Fiddleford McGucket, a newly wed cattle driver in 1880s Texas. He preyed on Fiddleford’s closeted sexuality and faith, posing as an angel sent from god to help cure his sexual deviance. Fiddleford, however, took longer to con than most and Sixer was forced to spend more time with the man. Out of jealousy, he poisoned a pregnant EmmaMay, getting Fiddleford all to himself.

Sixer decided he had spent far too much time and energy on Fiddleford to murder him like the others - and growing up with very little as a child had made Sixer VERY territorial. Before Fiddleford could find out that Sixer had lied about being an angel, he convinced Fiddleford to give him his soul and make him immortal, gifting him the power to control memory and a body made of vegetation.

Fiddleford would spend the next century trying to justify…. Everything. Sure Sixer had lied and had been trying to con him, but he was clearly being given special treatment compared to Sixer's other victims. Sure he only admitted he loved him when he was intoxicated but he did love him! Sixer's drunken rants about his childhood and peeks into his memory only made him seem more redeemable.

(Stan, in case you’re curious, just eventually learned to do his own thing, scamming people on the internet by pretending to be a gamer girl named StaZ. He talked to Fiddleford one on one a lot but Sixer had changed so much, any interaction he had with him usually ended in a shouting match. Unable to leave, Stan just tries to keep his head down and enjoy what little he can)

Part III: Bill

While Sixer grew resentful of Fiddleford’s clinginess, Fiddleford grew resentful of Sixer’s unfair treatment. Eventually, he murdered one of Sixer’s targets in self defense, cutting off his worship supply. In retaliation, Sixer picked up a recently reincarnated Bill Cipher (from after the canon Weirdmageddon events) to make Fidds jealous.

Excited about the prospect of winning over a different Stanford with sticking it to a different Fiddleford as an added bonus, Bill agreed to the hook up and ended up convincing Sixer to get rid of Fiddleford entirely. Sixer hated the fact that his soft spot for Fidds had made him weak and Bill offered to fix the problem of his worship supply's connection to his mortality so it seemed a fair trade.

Sixer's regret for killing his unofficial consort was strong, but he tried his hardest to push it down. The regret grew, however, into resentment for Bill and Sixer decided to overthrow Bill the same way he did his old demon master. Bill figured out early that Sixer was planning something like this, but - unwilling to accept the idea of losing Ford a second time - denial prevented him from taking any course of action against Sixer's machinations. Until, that is, they grew too hard to ignore and Sixer exploded about how killing Fiddleford was the worst mistake he ever made.

Enraged by a second betrayal, Sixer met the same fate by Bill's hand that Fiddleford had met by Sixer's own.

(And Stan lived happily ever after)

[butch-reidentified]

“ask the average reader to guess whether a male or female wrote this based on the fact that the author used coarse language I bet they’ll tell you male 😏” this is what you sound like. that person clearly wasn’t even saying that women with body hair are disgusting, they were likening themselves to them, and condemning holding yourself and others to pedophilic beauty standards and you have to be reading it in the worst faith possible to have any other takeaway

yeahhh you're making shit up lmfao

post being referenced:

I never said he said women with body hair are disgusting. I never thought he said that; he was clearly trying to say that we're all just gross animals. If other people claimed he said that, talk to them. HOWEVER. he said "u are a nasty little slug too and having a vachina does not absolve u of that." I take issue with this specifically because radfems take a very "humans are just animals like any other" view. We do not believe "having a vagina" makes us superior or cleaner or less animalistic or whatever the fuck he was trying to say with that weird ass sentence.

my saying that any rando on the street would more than likely read that and assume it was written by a male is not about "coarse language" (this literally made me laugh out loud, so ty). have you looked at my blog?? it doesn't get much more "coarse language" than my writing 💀 you can say "this is what you sound like" all day, but you made that up completely while dozens if not hundreds of women knew exactly what I was referring to. Not that I actually believe that you were confused what I meant by that, but to be clear, his post reads as male because it reeks of porn-induced brainrot. "breedable 12 year old anime girls floating in a glass jar of formaldehyde waiting for some old man to come and fuck them and tell them they are so teeeeeeeeny tiny and worth it" specifically is simply not a turn of phrase (or even abstractified image) that would ever enter my mind in a million years, nor that of any woman I know. I've never seen a woman say something quite that far porn-rotted. not that it's never happened at all, but I've never seen it and I would bet my life it's exceptionally uncommon.

Everything within that image he painted is the polar opposite of how radfems see women/what radfems want for women. "Holding yourself and others to pedophilic beauty standards" - you mean the exact ones radfems speak out against relentlessly every single day??? Search my blog for terms like "female body hair," "shaving," "beauty myth," and the like, and tell me how on earth you came to the conclusion that I think women should shave or tweeze or laser or whatever a SINGLE hair even once in their entire lives. I don't shave my legs, which were wildly god-tier hairy BEFORE even I was on T. I don't shave my bush, I don't shave my armpits, I don't shave my mustache or the chin hairs cross-sex hormones gave me.

Radfeminism is opposed to every single thing that has to do with the gender construct. We absolutely do not have any requirements or expectations or criteria for womanhood beyond simply being a human + female. Like I said about viewing humans like any other animals, radfems see "woman = female human" the same way one means "doe = female deer." Woman is not a gender; it's a term referring simply to species (human) and to sex (female). That's it. No further expectations or criteria apply.

Before you try to argue that this definition excludes women who are infertile or intersex, let me be very clear about sex:

> "of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs"

"the sex that CAN" is crucial to defining female/male. the female body has biologically, genetically, and physiologically developed from before birth to support the POTENTIAL capability of producing large gametes (eggs aka ova). It is totally irrelevant if one has a medical complication that prevents her from actually producing those gametes; which gametes your body has clearly developed structurally and functionally to produce is what defines your sex, no matter what.

The fact that this is how we view "woman" and "man," as simply referencing one's sex and humanity - this is why we maintain that trans-identified males are men. Again, we don't see "man" as a gender in the slightest. We don't engage with the gender construct at all beyond our desire to dismantle it entirely so that everyone would be able to live free from those roles/stereotypes/expectations that are assigned on the basis of sex.

This makes it a ridiculous thing to assert that we have to "go so far to prove that trans women are actually men...." We do not feel that it requires any effort at all to say "a drake is a male duck, a buck is a male doe, a man is a male human." It CERTAINLY does not in ANY capacity require us to "reduce women" to that horrific sentence, or to "reduce women" at all. Is it "reducing" a doe to state that she is a female deer?

It also makes it ridiculous to insist radfems "dehumanize" women by using this definition - the definition which includes "human" as a non-negotiable criterion.

About the first of his two-part post pictured above, last but far from least: There will NEVER come a day when women - ESPECIALLY lesbians & ESPECIALLY extremely gnc lesbians - calling out misogynistic males for their behavior counts as "punching down." No matter how he identifies, how he dresses, where he works, what his talents are, what he likes/dislikes, his sexual orientation, or anything else, women (and again, lesbian women especially) do not hold institutional/systemic power over men.

as for the 10 foot pole part, I really couldn't care less what he meant or why, tbqh, because the supremely creepy pedophilic rant that made up the first part was the thing we all truly took issue with in that screenshot.

and let's not forget, this all started bc he called an ND woman the r slur for her critique asserting that he was appropriating a type of religious trauma specific to the sex-based oppression of women/girls, and profiting from doing so. personally, as a human female with a history of such religious trauma, while this has been resolved for approximately 7 years in my case, I still vehemently object to any male claiming it as his own for profit. especially if said profit is hoarded rather than given back to victims of such trauma.

NOTE: this answer was written while I'm barely staying conscious. I will come back to edit/clean up a bit later after getting some rest 😴

[damagedintellect]

Nakahara Chuuya x Reader

💌 Would this be considered a social suicide? : Chapter 2 💌  

Summary: You knew it was dangerous to take walks at night but hearing the water rushing under the bridge was calming to your nerves. You didn’t imagine you’d ever fall into the river and somehow wake up in your favorite anime. The isekai that I’m sure will come back to haunt me. It’s kept me up all night but I might as well get the brainrot out.

Notes: Reader is Isekai’d into BSD, Slow to start, Chuuya is endgame but there’s a fair bit of reader & Dazai moments too 

💌 Word count: 2,929 💌 Available Chapters [1] [You are here] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

The next morning you were woken up to a phone call. It was weird since the ringtone was not the one you were used to and the phone wasn’t placed where you normally put it by your side. You tried to keep your eyes closed, you were still tired. Eventually your hand found a flip phone and you picked up the call. 

“Yeah.” you sounded dead tired but sure enough Dazai’s chipper voice filled your ear. “And good morning to you~”

You groaned only half heartedly mumbling “It’s too early for this. Call Atsushi to get you out of the oil drum or whatever you got yourself stuck in. I’m going back to sleep.” You ended up slurring some of the words but you were on the precipice of falling back asleep.

“Wow, that's rude to say to someone who saved your life last night. I called you in good faith that my darling (Y/N) would help me with this emergency. Although that does leave me wondering, does your ability make you psychic?” That’s when the events from the night prior stirred you from your sleepy haze. Oh shit. You felt like you were dunked in cold water. Too much, you fucked up. Fix it. Lie. Lie like your life depends on it. What would Atsushi do? He’d panic and apologize right?

“OH GOD IT WASN’T A DREAM! I thought I was still dreaming. It was just a guess, I’m sorry Dazai I’ll-” you were cut off. Perfect.

“Calm down, I was only teasing you but you should come out once you’ve changed. Atsushi’s already downstairs waiting for you.” He ended the call swiftly after. 

That could have gone better but at least it wasn’t the worst thing having him think you had an ability. Maybe it was a good thing but still you didn’t like the casualness of it all. Dazai was one of your favorite characters that you knew way too much about. Naturally you don’t want to get on his bad side but you wanted to be kept close. Even though you feel like you can anticipate where he’s coming from, the fact of the matter is he’s supposed to be unpredictable. The problem is you want to be important but the man is a walking redflag and boy do you love flags. You already know romance was not an option especially with the way he flirts with women. He clearly doesn't have much interest in such a thing anyways. His idea that everything he desires will be taken from him always gets in the way of developing any deep meaningful relationship anyhow. Or at least was your guess based on what you’ve read. You feel like that’s the reason why he’s always annoying everyone all the time so in the event something were to happen to either them or himself he could continue without much worry. Especially since he wants to die without being a burden to anyone. You shift your focus to the clothes provided for you, a white button up shirt, pants and boots similar to Atsushi’s but instead of suspenders and a tie you were given a lightweight sweater vest to complete your look. You thought it was cute as you looked in the mirror on your way out the door.

You didn’t say much on the way through town, still embarrassed about how you spoke on the phone. Dazai spoke primarily about the job he would help get you both. Sometimes he would glance back at you just to make sure you were still listening. He even winked at you when he was talking about how good of a fit the two of you would be. The man had no right to be this attractive. As Dazai finished talking himself up Kunikida stormed in to set the record straight. 

Atsushi looked over to you “I’m starting to have second thoughts about accepting his help. Maybe I should just look for a job on my own.” 

“Eh, Dazai might seem like a moron but I’d trust him on this one. Think about it, you don’t exactly have the greatest credentials to get a job anyhow.” You shrugged, shoving your hands in your pockets. The reason you didn’t get much sleep last night is because you were dreading the next thing Kunikida was about to say. You're afraid you'll be absolutely useless.

“We have an emergency. A man has taken a hostage and threatened to blow up our office.”

Atsushi tried to protest but Dazai and Kunikida were not having it. You followed along without complaint, of course as was your plan from the beginning. If you’re being honest you forgot half of what Junichiro’s speech was about until you heard it right now. Like who was he talking to if not you guys hiding behind the decorative shrubbery. The office workers and hostage had been there for a while. Why wait till right now to say those things. Atsushi was still trying to whimper his way out of helping and Dazai was trying to coax him otherwise. You only nodded along.

“Then there’s only one option.” Dazai said taking a stance with Kunikida following suit. The game of rock, paper, scissors was short and the face Atsushi was making was priceless. Kunikida stood up and approached the “mad bomber” as calmly as he could. “Hey, easy does it kid.”

“Stay away, I only want to see the president! Don’t you try anything funny or I’ll blow this place to bits.”

Kunikida put his hands up slowly and backed away “Okay.”

“I know who you are. You’re Kunikida. You want me to lower my guard so that you can use that annoying ability of yours to stop me. Well that sure ain't happening. Lay on that desk on your hands and knees, and keep both feet above your head- ” as he continued on, you shook with laughter, suppressing the sound at the strange but clearly not well thought order. You saw Dazai side eye you and you whispered “Sorry I know this is bad but the request he was making, how would Kunikida, just never mind. This means you can’t go out there either, Dazai.”

“It would only make him more angry. Oh my whatever shall we do now?”

You both looked at Atsushi “Absolutely not.”

“I haven’t even said anything yet.”

“I already know what you’re gonna ask.” 

You sighed “Atsushi we are the only option.” Dazai nodded “You’re not a formal member and the bomber doesn’t know either of you at all.”

Before Dazai could move you were already rummaging through the boxes to grab newspapers. “Listen, you just need to distract him long enough for me to back you up. We got this alright?” you looked at Dazai for confirmation.

You took the words out of Dazai’s mouth but he just shrugged continuing the thought. “Yeah. How bout you put on an act. Make it depressing like you think you’re a real worthless human being. I know you can do it right?”

You handed Atsushi the newspapers but he still looked worried. Dazai dropped the smile whispering “Trust me, scuffles on this scale are child's play compared to what we normally deal with. You can handle this Atsushi.” He was quaking in his boots as he started his speech. Dazai looked at you and raised an eyebrow. You gave a pointed look at Kunikida “Since Atsushi looks around the same age as the guy it’s better for him to be the one to reason with him. Worst case scenario I’ll just run and throw myself on the bomb. I already don’t have any memories anyways” you don’t look at Dazai’s face you half expected him to make a double suicide offer. Atsushi got right in Junichiro’s face making the perfect opening for Kunikida. While everyone was distracted with relief you started to untie Naomi, ushering her to the other side of the room. By the time Dazai started messing with Kunikida you had already walked behind the desk ready to move the bomb to the far corner.

“Now you’ll pay. I swear anyone with supernatural powers is not totally right in the head.” Tanizaki declared pressing the detonator.

Once the bomb started ticking you were already in the corner. You turned crouching around the bomb “Thanks for last night, it was great we should do it again sometime!” You smiled fearlessly at Atsushi as he grabbed the bomb from your arms and pushed you away. Dazai caught you as you stumbled back. The bomb didn’t go off of course and you all stood around Atsushi. Dazai helped you to your feet asking if you were okay and you nodded.

“Geez you know I figured the kid was stupid but I didn’t expect them both to be suicidal.” Kunikida groaned while Dazai chimed “It seems I’m rubbing off on them. Wouldn’t you agree, Tanizaki?” The redhead peered around Kunikida’s side hesitantly “Sorry, are you okay?”

"Heee?"

You laughed at Atsushi’s confusion as it shifts to clear irritation. “I’m guessing that was the entrance exam?” you turned towards Dazai for confirmation as the president walked in.

“You’re exactly right.” Fukuzawa then explained the rest of the sentiment with Dazai’s plan to get you both into the agency. You leaned on the desk behind you waiting for Atsushi to come to terms with his decision. He was arguing with how violent the job is for him but you pointed out “Way too violent? I don’t think you can say that when you pried me off a bomb to protect everyone.”

He still needed more convincing but you stopped paying attention. Sitting in the closest chair you relaxed into the piece of furniture. Wasn’t your best but wasn’t your worst. Eventually you all went to the cafe downstairs. You got a hot chocolate not really being a fan of coffee and not feeling like tea. You were already tired but it was still only afternoon. You guys still had the whole day ahead of you. 

Junichiro was apologizing to you both but you told him not to sweat it. You made the claim that at some point you realized that he and Naomi were siblings. Naomi didn't even need to be prompted to start molesting her brother. As the siblings did their thing Kunikida came up to talk with you both about upholding the agency’s good name. Meanwhile Dazai was doing the exact opposite by flirting with the hostess. That’s when Atsushi asked what they did before working at the agency.

“Take a guess. It’s a game we play a lot here actually. Newcomer tries to guess his colleagues' former occupations. Think of it as part of training to be a private investigator.”

Atsushi looked at you before you added “I’ve been pretty good at guessing games so far. I'll take my guesses once you get stumped.” You folded your hands behind your head giving him the lead. He hummed “I want to say Junichiro and Naomi were students?” 

“Whoa you got it. Nice one.”

“How did you figure that one out?”

The siblings looked surprised but they really shouldn’t be. It was so obvious given their age and the fact that one of them was literally in a uniform. Why else would they only be part timers “Not half bad Atsushi. What about Mr. Kunikida?” The aforementioned blonde spat out his coffee. “Nobody cares about what I used to be alright!”

Atsushi tried to focus again “Hmm, an official? Did he have a government job?”

“Almost. What do you think (Y/N)?” Dazai gave you time to answer “It might be the glasses but “Mr. Kunikida” screams math teacher.” 

“I could totally picture that actually.” Atsushi responded flatly. Kunikida was grumbling “It was another life. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“What about me then?” Dazai perked up in his chair.

“What did you do?”

“Yup my job.” Dazai smiled knowing he would have no way of guessing. Atsushi went on a rampage trying to guess it. You just sipped your coco waiting. Debating if it was a good idea to frazzle the brunette by letting him know but you wanted to see his face. Kunikida huffed, betting he didn't actually have an occupation before this.

“Not true, I would never lie about something like this. You've given up right?”

Junichiro’s phone went off, drawing everyone’s attention to the call. It was work, Higuchi to be exact. Dazai tried to wrap it up "Let’s save the guessing game-"

"Actually I would like to take my shot in the dark if it's all the same to everyone else. I only need one guess to be right." You interjected immediately. You made up your mind. This was happening. It's about to go down.

Dazai perked up cheerily like he had been for the past few minutes as you leaned in between him and Kunikida. You cupped your hand around his ear whispering “The demon prodigy and ex- port mafia executive himself, Osamu Dazai.” When you pulled away he fiend ignorance and kept up his usual comical persona “Ding ding ding we have a winner! Now let's go meet with our client shall we.” He stood up and started ushering everyone upstairs shooing Kunikida when he tried to ask questions “Wait just like that! I wanna know.” Atsushi followed after. As you passed Dazai he put his hand on your shoulder. The weight was feather light to the touch but had a more threatening presence than a simple hand should have. Had you not thought about your answer the moment you woke here you might have been shaken but your resolve stayed firm. 

“What gave it away?” his voice was warm against your ear. You took a deep breath turning to stare at him and recited the line you practiced in your head. “Ability or not I can see it in your eyes.” you smiled before going after the others. That’s all you should say for now if you continue who knows what the consequences will be. You still had to come up with something to avoid being gunned down by Higuchi or worse killed by Akutagawa.

—

You decided that while Higuchi was leading you to the alley you would start idle chit chat. If you could convince her that you had an ability, maybe she'd feel threatened? That sounded stupid. You could just use Atsushi as a meat shield. You're not picky. "Ichiyo, do you perhaps have someone dear to you who has obscure coughing fits. I apologize if I'm being forward." You skipped alongside her fast pace. Her face shifted for a second. She never gave you her first name. "I do, it must be allergy season right?" You could almost feel the sweat drop at the possibility of the mission being compromised.

You shook your head "If their name is Ryunosuke I'm afraid it's a lung disease. My ability is random foresight but never wrong. It's not my place to say but you should make sure he gets it looked at." You smiled innocently as she was taken aback. Once you got to the threshold of the alley she announced your arrival ignoring your comment. You made sure to stand behind Atsushi knowing she wouldn't risk it. Until Akutagawa showed up, standing behind Atsushi was a good strategy.

As Akutagawa was about to attack you held up your hand and he paused, unsure if you were about to use an ability he didn’t know about. Since you were so new to the agency there wasn't any information about your level of skill. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, not unless you want to make Dazai very angry." He tensed at the mention of his former mentor. "Oh? And why is that?" He pointed a tendril to your neck drawing the slightest bit of blood.

"Because I'm the woman he's going to commit a double suicide with." You smirk knowing he wouldn't dare touch what "belongs" to Dazai. You wonder if he could hear that through the wire. Hopefully you were far enough away from Higuchi. "Very well. Don't get in the way and I'll spare your life." You backed away and watched the show. Junichiro struggled to look back at you making an attempt to glare. As subtle as you could you tried to give him a reassuring look that it was part of a plan and not you being scum. Technically you were being scum but he should cut you some slack. You weren't a fighter.

When Dazai was finished resolving the issue he bounced over to you. "So you're the woman who will commit suicide with me?" He marveled at you with a twinkle in his eyes and sarcasm on his tongue. "I mean you never actually asked but if I get to pick the cause of death, I don't see why not" You had planned for this too. On top of that you were surprised at how long it took for you to be in contention. You must look younger than you were or you could just not be his type. Who knows really when it comes to Dazai.

His eyes widened and you weren’t sure if he thought you were being serious or if he was just playing it up "Of course! What did you have in mind?"

You giggled "Old age." He didn't look amused. "Har Har. You're so proud of yourself aren't you?" He helped Naomi on to your back as he tried to figure out how to carry the boys. 

"Extremely."

<= Previous Chapter | Next Chapter =>

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

Why Isn't Oliver A Girl? A Saltburn Analysis

shoutout to @aquickstart for this brilliant question that led to me writing this in my notes app at 7 in the morning and simply does not deserve to be relegated to DMs. hope you all enjoy our brainrot!

~~~~

i think it depends on this. which aspect of olivers desire for felix is most offensive to modern normie sensibilities? the homosexual one, or the selfcestuous one? i...say its the former. i think its seen as normal to want, if not allowed to actually achieve, (particularly given british bloodline classism), for a white man to want to be a different, more powerful white man. to want to ascend his social position for power.

but if oliver was a woman, it would be the inverse. her romantic desire would be seen as normal, (if still unsettling, because of its sexually predatory nature. because people are not used to thinking of women as interested in or capable of sexual violence, much less seeing it onscreen.) but her desire to BE him would be the uncomfortable part, bc women are not supoosed to want power in a man way, theyre supposed to want it in a woman way. theyre supposed to work within the system as a damsel to white men. white women, particularly those who are not opporessed in any other way, are the First Lady to white supremacy. they are not supposed to want to fully replace men at the top of the food chain, they are supposed to utilize their position as subordinate to further their entitlement to second in command status; because being subordinant grants them the plausible deniability of victimhood. just as felixs appearance of ultimate generosity absolves him of guilt for his privilege, so does white womens appearance of ultimate victimhood absolve them of theirs.

except....thats actually common. look at terfs. look at White Feminism and how it seeks to merely replace men rather than dismantle the system entirely. so while on some level it would still be upsetting to cis men to see a story that seemingly openly condones misandrist social climb, i think they would dismiss it as simply reverse sexism. and people would misinterpret it as that, as being a poor attempt at feminism that accidentally shows its ass by glorfiying girlboss feminism.

but. thats the (unreliable) narrative girloliver tells us.

because girl olivers desire for felix would not be one of heterosexual romantic interest. it would be one of cannibalistic gender envy. girl oliver could not exist, because she would be a trans man.

and THAT. would make people WAY too uncomfortable. it would put way too much scrutiny on the very few trans men in the public eye. it would not be safe. the reason we are able to take saltburn in good faith, is because the narrative of gay male desire as predatory is no longer the only depiction of it. i think it would break peoples minds seeing transmaculinity as predatory rather than transfemininity, and not in a good way. i dont think cis men would even conciously pick up on it, much less feel threatened by it. i think theyd be far more uncomfortable with the idea of women, cis women, being sexually predatory.

but cis women in the audiences would lose their shit. because they see transmasculinity not as predatory, but as cowardly. as a betrayal of sisterhood, a joining of the enemy and a defecting of that mutual suffering under patriarchy that white cis women cling to because it grants them that immunity when they enact their own bigotry. because womanhood is something you are supoosed to love and hate in equal measure. so to want to denounce it, to be dysphoric and find more joy in being masculine, is offensive because it bursts that bubble, it shows this narrative of universal sisterhood for the cult that it is. wanting to leave means you are excommunicated. just as a trans woman wanting to be accepted into that sisterhood, bursts the bubble because it acknowledges that theres more to womanhood than hating it.

but....heres the thing. this is what would make girliver (heh) saltburn brilliant. it would force people to reconsile with the fact that out of the two. out of transmasculinity, and girlboss feminism. one of them is much more uncomfortable to us, much more of a threat to patriarchy rather than a contribution to it. and its not the one we pretend it is. desoite the supposed accepted narrative that misandrist social climb is the most hated thing...its actually a fundamental part of how white patriatchy functions. the REAL thing people consider transgressive, is the notion that you would want to be a man not for power but for the joy of it. to separate maleness from power. because you are not allowed to feel that. either as a trans or even it seems to me a cis man.

one of my first thoughts when i went to answer this was that... canon oliver and felix as metaphors speak of...white male emptiness. of the way consumerism, both in the capitalistic material gain sense, and in the primal cannibalistic sexual consumptiom and discarding of your conquests - is the only avenue through which men are allowed to signal a personality. they do not get to experience true self love outside of who they  provide for or who serves them. self love and appreication of ones own beauty outside of sexual usefulness are considered feminine. so is appreciation of beauty as a whole outside of sexual appeal. it is considered gay (in feminine therefore transgressive therefore infectious and predatory way) to appreciate a nuce fruity drink. or a sunset. or to put effort into ones own appearance, outside of the exclusive purposes of either getting pussy, or living up to the male power fantasy. to love masculinity for masculinities sake. not in a romantic way but in a self love way, is a deeply transgressive act. that NO ONE talks about. but it is everywhere. so for girl oliver to ugly cry while flicking the bean like its an actual dick on top of a grave, only to retroactively claim her obsession with felix was just a good for her girlboss narrative...that would rip the common narrative like a wet paper bag.

it would also totally reframe the sex scenes with venetia and farleigh. with venetia it would be a case of...on the one hand the taboo of predatory lesbianism. but on the other, the girlbossification of..... katy perry style straight women sexual experimentation. particularly with transmascs, bc it gives them the plausible deniability that its not actually gay. so thered be a lot of debate there who is really taking advantage of who there. especially because nonpenetrative particularly lesbian sex isnt seen as real sex therefore its not seen as a form of assault. and with farleigh itd be a case of girlbossifying sexual conquest over men. pegging. tho i doubt girl oliver would pack a strap. maybe shed finger him idfk. but itd definitely be some sort of like, sexual dominance as empowering until you think about the racial dynamic and realize its actually buckbreaking.

so ultimately i think it would be BRILLIANT. but it would also be a fundamentally different story, which people simply are not ready to hear. idk enough about emerald fennell to judge whether or not she would be able to even think of this, let alone portray it faithfully, given she is a white wealthy cis woma, but especially after barbie, i am IFFY about white wealthy cis womens attempts at feminism. particularly when it comes to gender transgression and portrayal of transmasculinity of any kind. fucking sasha in barbie is the only one who dislikes hot pink feminism, shes not even a proper tomboy, and shes effectively forcefemmed

[moonshinemusings]

General Alejandro Vargas headcanons (Pt.1)

Warnings: slight mentions of canon typical violence

A/N: The brainrot is strong my friends

• Loves trying new dishes, be it from a totally different culture or something he already knows about, but never had the chance to taste before (or only a handful of times)

• Loves fruits and vegetables, although most of his meals contain more meat than plants. He needs it for his physique so he doesn't mind too much though

• He can cook really well. He's learned it when was pretty young from his mother, and he's proud of his skills

• He's a family oriented man and there is nothing more important to him

• Used to the warm weather, so if he needs to go to places with colder temperatures for some reason, he suffers the whole time, trying to hide his shivering and numbness in his bones

• Isn't an early bird, nor a night owl; sometimes he has trouble sleeping, but he has a daily routine when it comes to waking up, so he sticks to that

• Prefers comfortable clothes, but never minds dressing up fancy either; suits, button downs, elegant shirts and trousers, you name it and he's probably worn it before

• His job doesn't give him much opportunities for that though, so he doesn't own a lot of those items, only a few in case he needs them (has to blend in somewhere, has an official meeting or gets some kind of medal, or God forbid a free day)

• His favourite season is autumn, not because the weather changes that much in Mexico (it does, just not where he usually is), but because of the holidays

• He's not religious, nor does he celebrate that many holidays, but he appreciates their beauty all the same and tries to understand everyone's beliefs and faith

• His favorite holidays are Christmas and Día de Muertos; family is the most important for him as mentioned before

• He's very understanding and has a comforting presence to most. All of his men look up to him, many as a father, idol or brother figure and he deeply appreciates that, because it means just as much for him as for them

• Likes to read occasionally, but doesn't often have the time. When he does, he reads classics or poetry

• He finds the ocean really fascinating, he could talk for hours about the topic (sea creatures, how the oceans move, how they affect the world etc.)

• Always says he can't sing, but Los Vaqueros had the chance to hear him when he was drunk a few times and honestly? He was good

• He can dance too, in his culture it's a thing you learn young and possibly cherish for the rest of your life

• Not a big drinker, but loves alcohol all the same; a tequila man (unsurprisingly), but he also likes red wine. Will drink anything though if the situation requires (as in the team is drinking or he has a toast with higher ups)

• Takes good care of his appearance and knows people turn their heads when they see him. He prides himself on looking good even at his age (although he knows he's not old) and being able to sweep people off their feet

• Comfortable with his affections. He hugs and kisses the cheeks of his brothers without shame and doesn't care if someone calls him gay or anything similar to it. If someone just utters a slur though, his fist is flying faster than the person has finished speaking

• Tries to keep up with everyone in Los Vaqueros; they are his family and he won't forget birthdays or asking about their relatives, hobbies or such

• Won't say it out loud because he doesn't want to hurt anyone else, but Rodolfo is the most important person in his life next to his blood related family. He'd rather get killed himself than watch Rudy suffer (the Hassan mission really messed him up, but Rudy reassured him through the whole procedure until they caught the guy)

• Doesn't mind accessories, but he doesn't really wear them because he doesn't want injuries or to lose them during his job. He has a liking for bracelets and watches specifically

• A romantic by heart, so if he ever has a date or a lady for a night, he will make it worth it. Fancy dinner, long walk under the moonlight, passionate night in bed (all in safe locations of course, he wouldn't risk a civilian, nor anyone else)

• He likes animals, be it the wildlife or pets, so if his life ever allowed him, he'd have a dog or maybe two

• Naturally his job comes with certain skills/abilities; he has a good awareness of people and situations, reading people is easy for him and thinking logically and strategically isn't something you lack in his line of work either

• Doesn't have a sweet tooth, he is used to spicy food not the sweet stuff. Although he loves chocolate, he doesn't often indulge himself

• Wouldn't call himself a coffee person, but likes to have a cup every day before work, or maybe when he feels a rough night setting in and needs a little boost

• Of course his job gifted him with sights in life no person should ever see, and he lost a lot of people in this fight, but he still has kindness in him that he isn't afraid to show

• Sometimes he lets his emotions get the better of him. He's an emotional man by nature, and his anger rises quickly when faced with situations he doesn't like. Rodolfo is always there to keep him down to earth though, and he never fails to appreciate his brother's help

• His favourite colors are blue and orange, but if you ask him about clothes he prefers dark tones (black, browns)

• He's always wanted a family of his own and his dream (to call it that foolishly) is to have a daughter, or maybe a big brother and daughter, so the little guy could protect her when he himself couldn't be there

• Loves nature, he always had; going on hikes, spending a day on a beach, scanning through forests, sitting on the skirts of the town, he loves it all

• He also likes flowers and in his younger years he wouldn't have minded learning the language of flowers. Unfortunately that never happened, but he doesn't feel like missing much

• Monday or Sunday, all the same to him. His work doesn't allow the usual week days and breaks, so he gets through every day almost in the same fashion. He likes to give his men the weekends off though, and always encourages them to ask for a leave if they feel sick or have something serious going on at home

• His favourite ice cream flavors are peach, lemon and caramel

• Can play the guitar, although he doesn't really have the time for things like that anymore

• He smells like whatever gear he has on at the moment and something woody probably. His natural scent is something manly and definitely earthy, but it can't really be named. Also, he only uses perfumes and stuff when he's not out in the field for work, or maybe he just sprays himself in the morning and lets it linger for however long it lasts

• He doesn't watch TV, rather spends his little free time doing more productive things like reading or cooking

[rou-luxe]

can you brainrot about alfons to me in the answer to this ask? :3

you've. you've just made my day. this is not proofread I kind of just dumped everything

that is very broad so I suppose I'll just go wild come off anon sweetie 🥺 /j

I haven't actually played his path (only up until about chapter 4 because I got impatient waiting for EN to release) these are just my guesses from what I've seen

I'm just too lazy to translate everything 😔

although alfons does use his ability to "take advantage of people", it's only when someone is suffering.

eg. that one scene in liam's path, alfons' path chapter 4 premium story

all of his life, people have come to him for relief. so... if you come to him sobbing your heart out, he takes that as a sign to just go for it. liam went straight to alfons upon returning to the castle, knowing exactly what he would do. liam can't voice his desires directly, but alfons knows what he needs

i've already said this plenty of times 😭😭

in alfons' "fake lovers" story... he uses his ability to prevent kate from seeing and hearing all the suffering / screaming. alfons uses the ability to convince her to be his lover because... well...

1. she'd never accept him otherwise 💀 2. it makes things easier for both him and her. she might slip up or try to push him away, only adding to her inner conflict

everything he does is to mitigate others' suffering or to prevent it. it's the motto he lives by. it is behind his every intention.

but what if he just wants to be loved normally?

in this bond story, he doesn't use his ability or anything. no: he wants kate to smile at him of her own free will. without his ability. without an illusion.

it is an illusion intended for him. the illusion of a normal relationship. again: alfons has been used for relief all his life. none of it was "real love". perhaps he just wants a normal love. the relief of a simple and pure love, unobscured by illusions.

but he can't.

alfons has said again and again: "life is a tragedy". life causes suffering to all those it touches. despite all of his illusions, in the end he cannot change reality. at the end of the day, it changes nothing. he was doomed from the beginning never to have true love

"sylvatica". forget-me-nots symbolize true love, remembrance, devotion, faithfulness...

the complete opposite of him on the surface

but look how dedicated he is to elbert... contrary to popular belief, I think if alfons really loves someone I think he'd be as faithful as can be (i've heard that alfons is a jealous man 🤭)

my poor baby. he just wants to be loved. to be remembered.

YOU THOUGHT WE WERE DONE? JOKES ON YOU okay so moving on to expressions

despite everything, alfons is actually a serious person at heart

I think I've heard from others how sarcastic and annoyed he actually is 💀💀 don't have enough of that yet but back to the subject

alfons is a serious person - but only in private. similar to scenes where it's just clavis (sometimes with chevalier), clavis stops smiling and cracking jokes. in fact. he fucking FROWNS. or, if you'd like, nokto has these scenes too.

he only lets down his smile guard when someone isn't looking or if someone says something to crack his façade like "i'll never forget-" the bathtub card is self explanatory he's just by himself looking in the mirror and going "what am I doing with my life :3" okay that's enough jokes but you know what I mean right

...I took a peek at a translation. I got tempted. alfons doesn't want kate to see who he really is inside. that's why he blindfolds her. he's really quiet during that scene as well... but not because he's worried something will slip out, it's because he's really just a quiet person at heart

i'm sounding like a broken record okay that's it any more and I will get excommunicated /j

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hiii so i put in a request for the matching thing but you didn’t respond to it so im guessing i didn’t put enough info which i completey understand!!! very sorry about that, i hope ur still doing these requests if not i deeply apologize. anyway pls take ur time so so sorry!!

i’d also like to be matched with someone in pjo pls!

personal info ? 15 yrs old, i’m a girl, she/her(truly idc), bisexual, half mexican (white dad…)

physical: i have medium length wavy brown hair with grown out bangs, im 5’4 average weight, pretty tan, brown eyes, silver circle glasses, i wear smudgy eyeliner w/mascara, i either wear tank tops with big pants or big t shirt with shorts

personality: i’m honestly very weird with the people im close with, like very. i have brainrot humor so im always saying weird ass shit acting like it’s normal. i’m also very sarcastic and if im not very close with someone i give them like 0 reaction i guess? idk ppl tell me im nonchalant but that sounds rlly corny 😬 anyway im very embarrassing in public when im with my friends and they hate it but i think its funny idc!! im also pretty moody but im just a teenage girl!!!!!!! i dont get mad that easily tho like i can take a joke i just get ANNOYED easily but then ill be fine in a few minutes. also ppl tell me im very funny so 😇 meat riding myself YES IM A NO SABO KID I AM TRYING TO LEARN SOANISH.

hobbies/intrests: love love love listening to music, love tv girl, tyler, mitski, arctic monkeys, the smiths, depeche mode, the cure, lana, tame impala, beabadoobee and so many other generes and artists but i only know like 2 songs 😬

i also had a severe fnaf phase, avatar the last airbender, spiderverse, saiki, and obvi percy jackson

currently OBSESSED with slushy noobz they are my whole personality they are how i act. along with avascreams on tiktok ive literally had 6 different ppl tell me “you know that one girl on tiktok?? you act just like her” IM TRILY NOT EVEN TRYING TO ACT LIKE HER I SWEAR. also love sam and colby i full heartedly believe in ghosts just watch ima become a ghost hunter 😊😊

as of right now my hobbies are playing stardew valley and never getting my homework done, i also love to draw but im not very good at it. i also love painting but i haven’t done it in a while bc of school :(( i take piano lessons as well but again, not very good even after 5 years. i rlly like reading too but again bc of school i haven’t read as much lately, love playing with my pets (dog and cat) they’re so cute i love animals so so much i want more but yknow im busy, ive also gotten into working out bc im tryna lose this face fat🫥

likes: love carnival rides!!!! they’re so fun i love the fair SO MUCH. beautiful atmosphere truly. the zipper is so fun don’t let anyone lie to you. nature, i love going on walks in the woods but i can’t bc i don’t live near any😔 food i love food, korean, mexican, american, japanese, i love it all. english class! teacher is so sweet i love her and its also easy and boring so

dislikes: six flags. i hate roller coasters. annoying ppl like bruh stfu up OH MY GOD. when my mom asks me about college, leave me alone pls!

okay i truly don’t know what else to put i hope this was enough 😓😓

-faith 👐

Hey Faith, I am so so sorry that this took incredibly long to complete. I’ve been insanely busy these few months and lots of personal stuff going on so I really hope that this does it justice! And also also don’t be sorry I’m really sorry that this took so long

Your PJO ship: Leo Valdez 🔥🔥🔥 (man I’m jealous)

Explanation: honestly the best way I can explain this is that you’re crazy totally matches his crazy. Your freak matches his freak. is somebody gonna match my freak? Yes, someone will match your freak and that person is Leo. Starting off with your physical appearance, I think that he would be very attracted to you and I think you give a vague match of his mom like I feel like you look like his mom a little little bit, which is what kind of drew him to you in the first place I feel like he probably saw you in a crowd and his jaw dropped. He just thought that you were your clothing style. He also liked your eyeliner which he had you do on him whenever you guys got comfortable enough in the relationship he was like hey can I please have your make up routine done on me? He looked rlly hot but anyway- you guys are just so chaotic together with your personality like you match him so well I feel like Leo in order to make a relationship work with him. He needs to have someone that’s either vastly different than him or the same because I mean, I just see you guys as Deadpool and Vanessa, you guys so chaotic in public you guys would do so much embarrassing shit together and social anxiety would be afraid of both of you combined, a deadly duo. Whenever you were first getting to know each other, and you were more relaxed and chill around him less if you’re crazy with showing, that’s what kind of Drew him like he thought that your dynamic could be that you would kind of be more opposites, but then he slowly realize that you were just as fucking goofy and silly as him, and he would have a blast with you as you guys got further on into your even like just friendship that eventually turn into romance. You guys always have the funniest times together like I’m not joking. You guys would be the couple to go out with if you wanted a good time because you guys just yeah you’re chaotic and glorious and also really freaking funny and I mean yeah. (I would also like to let you know to do a deeper dive into your personality. I did research some of the people you mentioned that you were compared to and watched some of their videos and subjected myself to the painful amount of puns and batshit crazy, honestly I’m pretty impressed if people are comparing you) as for your hobbies, he would love playing Stardew Valley and I feel like he would romance. Sebastian don’t ask me why, but I just feel like he would. He would totally want Sebastian as I don’t know why OK I really don’t. I really don’t but anyway that’s just my personal theory. But he would love playing Stardew with you. He’s also a procrastinator when it comes to homework and work and taking things seriously in general so you guys would be quite the interesting duo and I feel like U2 would just end up making out during study date so if you want someone to study with? He’s probably not the best person. Also, I think that he would love your art and would be absolutely obsessed. If you ever did any artwork of him or just inspired by him like he would love that he would frame that shit he would brag to everyone about how good you are and same goes with piano he’s obsessed even if you think you weren’t very good after five years of playing he thinks you’re magnificent. It took everything in him to not compare you to Apollo because he knew that that would probably get you like blasted into the sky or something, but he just thinks anything that comes from you is good basically. That’s Leo Math.

You + Anything= Good.

He can never read very much because of his ADHD. I just feel like he would lose interest in books really easily unless they’re really exciting or exactly what he’s being into at this point, so I feel like he would get the being too busy to read. He also loves animals. He would absolutely snuggle all the pets in the world. I feel like he just loves animals. I feel like he especially loves dogs because they match his energy and he’s definitely like a golden retriever guy or maybe a Chihuahua guy one of them anyway dogs are very Leo core. Also, he thinks your chubby face is cute, and while he promotes working out for the healthiness of it, he thinks you have the wrong motivation if you want to get rid of that cute squeezable cheeks. (Multiple cheeks if ykwim) he also loves carnival rides and he’s a huge foodie so if you ever went out to him, you guys would end up eating more than your stomachs and belts can handle I mean yeah you guys would just be done if you ever went out to eat because he would order so much food and then I feel like because of his ADHD he’d be midway eating through another thing and then see other stand and be like babe. We gotta go there next. basically you guys would be extremely full. He also likes nature walks. I think that he kind of just likes the dirt of it because he’s definitely not afraid to get dirty and he loves just poking around nature I mean, I honestly that’s how I see him going on hikes like he’d pick up slugs, he do all kinds of like gross stuff. People normally wouldn’t do like I don’t know, letting a worm crawl on his arm or something.  anyway you guys totally match each other crazy and match each other’s freak yes just like the song, and I really ship it 💕💓💗💞💗💞

[simple-seranade]

Okay so your blurb had me brainrot (yes I’m been busy giggling about Qsmp for a min it’s true)

I like to imagine that Saint jim and the rest of the evo is a certain caste of god siblings that hails from the void mother. So way more powerful then new gods like for example Joel.

Jim is charge of omens and death. He also been worshiped as a god of hope though he has been also worshipped as a god of doom. Despite this numerous myths has painted him as the kindest of his siblings that hail from the void mother. But he is also the one out of his siblings to have the most human flaws. But he tends to favor humans more than the others and tends to hide amongst them. He likes to do tests. He is primarily pictured in monoliths as a human man with golden wings. His symbol is the canary which he has been known to shape-shift into.

Grian meanwhile is in charge of surveillance and chaos. He has been worshipped as a god of war as well. He is usually prayed to as a sorta curse to whatever person people pissed off the wrong person. He is one of the cruelest of the siblings but usually he doesn’t interact much with his victims besides mean pranks or bad luck. He is the oldest and the most out of touch with humans. They are his playthings mostly but he has been noticed to have favorites. He can appear as a human but his true form is well horrific and has been shown as such on monoliths. Recently he started disguising himself as a traveler to either reward or punish others.

Pearl is primarily worshipped by sanctuary but she is interesting compared to her siblings beacuse yes she was a god but was thrown down to earth by accident and became a human before remembering who she is and ascending back to where she belonged. She is in charge of the night cycle and also worshipped as a harvest goddess.

Martyn has no known followers. And in fact he is mostly unknown. It’s rumored he is charge of being some sort of messenger and fate. He apparently to rumors also likes to hop down to earth primarily through do whatever he wants. He is noted to have many forms. And tends to give abilities that usually turn out to be more like a curse,

YES YES YES I AM SO HERE FOR THIS

elaborating on Martyn’s, some of the oldest monoliths discovered show evidence of being around long before civilizations. Martyn is the messenger, yes, and spreads the words and tales of the others in the original days. ancient stone statues of the saints that never crack, change poses, incorporate new elements without anyone ever stepping foot by them. Martyn is a craftsman, a storyteller, and he also enjoys creeping people the heck out with his depictions of his siblings

JIMMY! Jimmy my boy! there are a select few circles that hail him as the god of love, though this rarely mixes well with the added god of doom aspect. dedicated and loyal to a fault, earning his favor guaranteed you good fortune in all relationships, platonic or romantic. Getting on his bad side, however, does result in not just him being angry, but also the other three, which… yeah, you’re screwed then!

Pearl i find fascinating because there are myths where Apollo was cast down to earth to be human for a period of time as a punishment. There’s much speculation between scholars- was it an accident she stumbled off the moon, a falling star crashing to the earth below? Was her period of neglected protection from cold winter storms and the rabid wolves in the farmers’ forests what caused the void mother to send her down, to learn from those she harmed? Was she simply a victim of the cruelty of the void, the most polarizing subject in the faith? No one knows. The monoliths don’t tell them.

Grian. He hovers and Watches and it’s said when you feel eyes on you in the dead of night you’re being observed by the divine, so tread carefully. Merchants are the most frequent target of his tests, none passing- at least, besides the legend of one mortal salesman with a silver tongue and the devil’s blessing. They’re nearly rumors, and the scarred man who spreads them is a liar, not to be believed. The divine are not to be trifled with, but Grian most of all. Mushrooms overrunning fields, sandstorms, bouts of mania so strong even Heracles would tremble descending on those who have wronged him-

well. it’s safe to say he has the most loyal and the most terrified group of followers

[uraharasandals]

Continued brainrot about an anxious S/O sending the OG captains off to the Quincy battle! Part 1 here | My own OC here

CAPTAIN OF THE 7TH DIVISION :: SHIGYOU NOBUTSUNA

--  Decaying nobility, morbid paleness spreading a miasma of unease 

The thump of a sword hitting the wooden floor wouldn’t have normally startled you, but news of the Quincy invasion has provided new challenges for your nerves. You can feel the weight of Nobutsuna’s gaze on you as you jump, but you quickly steady yourself. Weakness is definitely not a desirable trait, especially not in the Shigyou household.

“I will execute all of our enemies and deliver justice onto those who invades Soul Society,” Nobutsuna states bluntly and clearly, hands folded on top of the hilt of his sword. You raise an eyebrow at this - rarely does he voice his thoughts on his principles and beliefs, but apparently this is an occasion that calls for it.

“I rest my faith in you, Nobutsuna-sama.” 

CAPTAIN OF THE 8TH DIVISION :: KATORI BATSU’UNSAI 

-- Innocence at first glance, a swift butchering delivered without mercy 

Batsu’unsai’s aura of innocence makes many let down their guard due to their initial assessment of her as someone who has accidentally wandered onto the battlefield, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. Little do they know her proficiency with her weapon - rarely do her enemies realise it was her blade that slices them into clean pieces that fall onto the floor like slabs of meat.

And it’s with this faith in her abilities that you linger at the doorway as she turns around, a small smile on her face, as if she was heading out for a walk. “________, I’ll be off then, okay?” 

“See you, Batsu-chan,” You reply in the same tone, giving her a small wave. The smile widens in return of your affection, but her expression shifts as the sunlight catches on her glasses - when the light obscures her eyes, something sinister flickers on her features. “Stay safe, alright?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I will.”

CAPTAIN OF THE 9TH DIVISION :: KUMOI ENTETSU

-- A tall and imposing sentry, unmoving and threatening like jagged rock 

“You do understand that there’s no reason for me to get rid of the bloodstains when you’ll just stain it with the blood of your enemies again, right, Entetsu?” Slightly annoyed, you hand his newly bequeathed white haori to him, a piece of clothing that came with his new title. The man merely opens his mouth slightly at you - the golden teeth fastened on his lips serve as a perpetual and unnerving grin. Despite your complaints, he knows you don’t really mind - it’s proof of his ability on the battlefield, and the bloodstained legacy he bears. 

Shrugging it on, Entetsu picks up his sword - already in shikai form, and you swallow at the sight of it. Despite the number of times you’ve seen it in its released form, the fact that it resembles a club still unnerves you. Then again, his whole appearance serves to do the same.

“I’ll try to spare you the chore tonight, __________.” And that’s the end of it - no loving words, no reassurances, a comment so common and casual that it would’ve been part of your regular conversations. Entetsu promptly turns and leaves, also bringing the threat of death with himself. 

CAPTAIN OF THE 10TH DIVISION :: OUTOGAWA FURUOKI

-- Unwavering stature of nobleness, sternness maintained even in face of death

Furuoki has never really been a man of many words, preferring to replace them with his music - something you’ve always found ironic, him dressing himself as a man of art rather than of blade - and he refuses to make an exception even as he may be marching to his death.

“Don’t tell me you’re bringing your hat to the battlefield as well, Furuoki.” The comment, clearly made in sarcasm, manages to make the corner of his lips tug up slightly, almost as if he’s restraining himself, stopping himself from laughing - but otherwise, he maintains his stern expression. You let out a small exhale, wanting to make the mood more light-hearted, but of course, not to be. 

“Are you going to say anything, or will you go without any last words?” You raise an eyebrow. Normally, acting like this would hardly make him happy - in fact, acting out like this usually makes him irritated, but in the face of an enemy invasion, you could hardly care about his preference for righteousness and proper conduct when this may very well be the last time you see him.

“Stop being ridiculous - you’re overthinking.” Those are the only words he leaves you with, before he promptly walks off. A thin smile spreads your lips - typical, as always. Even in face of death.

CAPTAIN OF THE 11TH DIVISION :: UNOHANA YACHIRU

-- A spider lily from the depths of the underworld, death blooming in her wake 

Yachiru is so beautiful when she’s stationary, standing like this and staring at you with those soulless eyes of hers - arguably more beautiful than when she’s on the battlefield, killing foes and allies alike mercilessly with the quick flash of her blade. She stares at you, and any words that you want to say die on the tip of your tongue, because really, what could you say (and honestly, what right do you even have to say anything) to the woman who’s known as the most merciless killer in the entirety of Soul Society? 

Small wonder she has yet to murder you. You suspect the only thing keeping you around is your wits, and the fact that she has yet to be bored in your presence. 

Picking up her blade - polished and without blood, fruit of your efforts - and sliding it carefully into her scabbard, she steadies the weapon strapped to her waist. There was a period of silence between you two, where unspoken words were exchanged through glances that were perfected throughout the years, before you step forward tentatively. Yachiru lets you, her eyes never leaving your actions, watching you attentively like predator stalking her prey. 

Except, you have no overt intentions aside from picking up her hand. Years of battle has honed her instincts, and she reacts reflexively, but you wait - and Yachiru lets you clasp her hand in yours eventually, before raising it to your lips, and brushing the skin almost heart-breakingly tenderly with a kiss. 

Then the moment fades, and she’s gone like the wind, the only evidence of your goodbye gift a tingling on your lips from the sheer amount of reiatsu she exudes. 

CAPTAIN OF THE 12TH DIVISION :: UHIN ZENJOUJI

-- Overdressed corpulence, visual aposematism accentuating venom

The moment Zenjouji had been given news of his current appointment, he had jeered at the irony of the entire situation - a sentiment that had not passed you by either, to be frank. “Yamamoto Genryusai gathering a band of murderers to defend Seireitei? Even the punchline of a well-written joke wouldn’t have been as funny!” 

And it was with that same sense of sentiment as you watch him applying the paint to his face - a mask of sorts, but also resembling war paint, strangely; a routine of sorts - before he heads to the battlefield. “You’re not going with this seriously, are you?” 

Zenjouji looks at you like you’re being ridiculous - which you suppose you are, having known the man for such a long time. “Are ya kiddin’ me? ‘Course I ain’t! I’ll go and smash some heads together and call it a day!” 

As expected, really.  

CAPTAIN OF THE 13TH DIVISION :: SAKAHONE SAIZOU

-- A wandering corpse of shaken bones, rattling death in graves borne in his wake

“I don’t understand why Genryusai-dono asked you, Saizou-dono,” You state flatly, standing in front of his katana, which was propped on the shelf behind your back. “You may have been formidable in your prime, but you’re well past that now.”

He grins toothily at you - meant to be menacing, you’re sure, but not now, and especially not in this context. “Regardless of what you think, _________, Yamamoto has asked me. And so I’ll answer.”

“Whatever for?” You retort. You aren’t afraid of losing him to battle - Sakahone Saizou was more than capable of holding his ground. Or at least, that was what you told yourself. Secretly, you worry - given his current state and age, you aren’t so sure anymore. “Pride?” 

Before you were aware of the fact, Saizou had already retrieved his weapon that you thought you had barred him from. “Merely for igniting these old bones of mine, __________.” 

[navree]

the misfortune of house of the dragon brainrot is that i remember shit from game of thrones and then i get mad and i was recently reminded of “robert’s rebellion was built on a lie” which makes me so unambiguously furious i’m finally gonna crack down and enumerate that fury to the rest of the populace in what may be my longest ramble to date. 

so, first things first, i’m gonna be so very brave and ignore the emotions and everything behind rhaegar running off with lyanna, ignore the skeeviness of this man in his midtwenties pursuing a young teenager and the skeeviness of doing it while married and how much of a dick fucking move that is to do to elia who didn’t deserve any of that from her shit husband, ignore whether or not rhaegar and lyanna were in love or if it was kidnapping or whatever, because that’s not important. 

what’s important is that the crown prince, the heir to the throne, next in line to the seat of power, committed an egregious offense against three major political powers. the foundational building block of robert’s rebellion isn’t about whether or not rhaegar and lyanna were “in love”, it’s about how rhaegar insulted house stark by taking a member of their family into custody in a way that puts her reputation at risk, he insulted house baratheon by taking someone who had been promised to a baratheon (it sounds awful to phrase it like that but this is how it would be seen in westerosi society), and he grievously insulted house martell by publicly shaming and humiliating a martell princess in a deeply embarrassing way. robert’s rebellion is built on rhaegar looking at his house’s allies and friends and essentially spitting on their faces. 

and even then, that’s not what kicks off robert’s rebellion. what the rhaegar and lyanna situation does is kick off the starks going to the crown, to the legal head of the country, and wanting the situation dealt with. brandon, though somewhat brashly, is well within his rights to go to his king and say that he and his family have been dealt a grievous offense and that it needs to be addressed and rectified in some way. aerys’s response to that is to kill two members of that family, brandon and rickard, in an unseemly and brutal way, all for using the proper channels available to them to try and find a way to address a problem, an insult being done to them and their family, and then after aerys murders them for it because the idea happens to offend him, because he’s nuts, he then demands that two people who haven’t done anything at all yet, another stark son and lyanna’s baratheon fiancé, be handed over to him to also be executed.

what happens to brandon and rickard isn’t the only thing that’s seen as morally bankrupt in the eyes of westeros, it’s also aerys ordering that jon arryn break faith and hand over two teenagers who haven’t done anything or started any conflict themselves because they are also part of the wronged parties from his own son’s apparent fuck up. that is what causes jon arryn to summon his banners. that is what robert’s rebellion was built on, aerys’s actions following rhaegar’s. because aerys has, in modern parlance, broken the social contract (for anyone who isn’t as big a dork as i am about historical politics, the social contract is a theory/model that argues that individuals consent to be ruled by an authority and trade away certain freedoms in exchange for the remainder of those rights being protected in a safe and maintained social order, and that when a ruler breaks that promise by becoming too despotic or creating a breakdown in the social order, the populace is no longer beholden to uphold their end as well in consenting to be governed). 

now, westeros doesn’t have a solid concept of the social contract because that’s something that only became a talked about thing during our age of enlightenment (mid 1600s to early 1800s AD) it’s a pseudo-medieval society, roughly equivalent to, like, the 800s AD (given that the doom of valyria is meant to be this world’s equivalent to the fall of the roman empire, which happened in 400 AD, while the doom happens about 400 years before the events of asoiaf). but there’s clearly some element of “we will allow ourselves to submit to your rule on the condition that you be good to us as a ruler, or else we will no longer allow said rule”, because that’s the entire basis for northern independence in the main books. the northerners believe that joffrey, in executing ned so suddenly and unceremoniously, on what are largely viewed to be trumped up charges, has broken the baratheon line’s social contract with the north, and thus do not need to uphold their own end of the contract, thereby declaring rebellion and fighting against that regime. and that’s what happens with robert’s rebellion. the arryns, starks, and baratheons have decided that, through the actions of it’s head (aerys) and it’s second in command (rhaegar), house targaryen has broken it’s side of the social contract, which means they no longer have to consent to be ruled by house targaryen, and will fight against house targaryen’s actions against them at that point. 

robert’s rebellion was not, and never had been, built on the idea that lyanna wasn’t in love with rhaegar. that might have been robert’s own personal motivation, but that didn’t factor into the rebellion at large. robert’s rebellion was built on the really bad decisions made by prominent political actors in westeros, and how everyone responded to them. the main issue was that a group of powerful people saw that the other side of the social contract had violated that contract, decided to react, then everyone else chose sides based on who they supported in that decision and promptly duked it out for a year until one side ultimately won. 

and man does that one line really encapsulate that season 8 gets the brunt of the backlash for being unbearably awful but basically everything that happened from them taking main control away from the books onward was just the height of stupidity, in every way. 

[calumsash]

ok so i was tagged by the lovely aria @calumthoodshands in this and what i got from her drunk explanation (love u aria) on the post is that we're talking about our top 8 shows that you need to know to know me 🥰 i definitely rambled here way too much for no reason but oh well <3

911 (2018 -): hmmm do i need to explain? i feel like people heard and seen me lose my mind over the weewoo show. this is currently what's shaping my life. i take the day off on tuesday cause it's when the new episodes air for me. yes it's that level of brainrot.

skam (2015 - 2017): this show shaped me as a teen gonna be real. i watched it in my last year of high school and seeing this type of real show about teens where at the times all the shows with high school were like tvd and gossip girl and such it was refreshing! i do believe that for full impact of watching skam you needed to hunt episodes on google drive and wait for translations as you're avoiding studying for your finals but it's great in any viewing shape and form.

parenthood (2010 - 2015): this is one of the shows that i used to watch weekly as it aired with my mom. it's about family and we've grown attached to the bravermans 🫶 it gave us many good crys!! also peter krause my beloved is there (even though i would have fought adam braverman many times).

ted lasso (2020 -): a show that just brings joy to my heart <3 im probably gonna cry when it's gonna end in a few weeks. every episode that i watch of this show i get some faith in humanity and when i don't think it can get better, it does!!

this is us (2016 - 2022): show of all time. the amount of tears this show brought out of me. made me have a full panic attack watching a certain episode and it's one of the best episodes of the whole series. this is another show i watched with my mom where we tuned in every week to watch together and it was our hangout time that i still very cherish. again very family driven storylines so yeah 🥹

schitt's creek (2015 - 2020): how does one explain the love i got in my heart for the rose family and co? a show i definitely procrastinated finishing cause i didn't want it to end!!! just as good as everyone say it is and i loved every second of it.

glee (2009 - 2015): when i tell you being a gleek was my whole personality for years i am not kidding. watched this baby since it came out and i would wake up at 4am so i could watch the episodes before school and then later on burn them on CDs. i had posters, magazines, merch, everything. like half the songs i know are from glee. watching glee from 10 years old will change your brain chemistry i promise you. i will admit that i stopped watching after the quarterback episode but at a point of time (literal years) this show was my everything.

always sunny (2005 -): most awful people in the world but you can't help but love them. pretty sure it's the longest running sitcom at this point? if not it will be. i did base my personality after some stuff from the show for a while. my bio on insta is still "champion of the sun ☀️" after all these years. i dressed up as charlie in the day man episode. it's just a really fucking funny show.

honorable mentions: the boys, teen wolf (until s3b), abbott elementary & derry girls!

im gonna tag @myfalsedevotion @cowboy-buck @buckleyseddie @merry-the-cookie @pxrxmoore if you guys feel like it, no pressure!!

also goes without saying but if you haven't watched something in here i highly recommend them!!

[daisy-dame]

ok now i'm really curious to hear about the tiktok jewish education girl...

Oh man, it's a whole thing. And the kid involved is just a dumb teen who is playing oppression games to feel special. Basically this white Christian girl I know found out she had some Jewish ancestry, way back. At first it seemed like she just wanted to learn, so I took the whole thing in good faith and taught her a couple of things, because I do generally appreciate it when people show an interest.

Then the problems started. She starts sending me Jewish tiktoks, which is fine at first but then she does some weird shit.

She throws a "chanukah" party for her and her goyish friends in spite of not knowing any of the traditions behind it. She tries to tell me that some Jews she grew up with "aren't really Jewish" because they don't celebrate Chanukah (thinking Chanukah is """Jewish Christmas""" is a classic Christian thing. There are other holidays way more important to us and cultural Judaism is a thing. Basically I don't feel comfortable calling people not Jewish) as if she has a right to count Jews out of the tribe. She tries to instigate a fight between me and her Muslim roommate over nothing. At one point she tries to refer to herself as Jewish but instantly backs down when I'm like what? Weird shit.

But I'm still not saying anything. Then she sends me a text being like "My TikTok thinks I'm Jewish" and as a joke I'm like "Oh yeah? you thinking of converting lol" and then she's like "I would but it's too hard" "I wish I could just magically become Jewish without doing any work" "I'd marry a Jewish person just to be in touch with the culture" and I'm like that's not how any of this works. Then she says "I just wish I could be Jewish so I wouldn't have to deal with old white men"

At that point I just snapped. Told her about my experience with antisemitism, told her that this isn't something you can learn from TikTok, etc. At first she got defensive, but then she apologized. Which is a hard thing to do when you've been called out like that. She's just a dumb teen who needs to touch grass and maybe think about how she can't play oppression bingo without pissing people off. A lot of it is because people don't think Jewish cultural appropriation is a problem.

But yeah, TikTok brainrot is real.