#Get friends that bring you chocolate when ur sad

[xan-the-emo-trans-man]

Y'all ever have friends that drive to your house to bring you chocolate at 9 o'clock at night

Shout out to fen ya pysco ass (ilysm /p)

[yyunari]

JAKE 01. ⏱﹕ꕤ﹔ ETA !

your relationship with jake was built off of lies and deceit. that much was apparent all thanks to minji.

⌇＃GENRE ◠﹒angst + breakup ＃PAIRING ◠﹒sim jaeyun x fem! reader x ?? ＃WARNINGS ◠﹒toxic jake ＃WC ◠﹒1.1k

being known as overly emotional and often getting pushed over had its struggles. that much was clear to you on a daily basis.

one of these struggles being how easy you had accepted jake’s request (more like a demand) to break up.

3 days after when you heard his rare yet melodious laugh, one akin to the sound of bells, chime throughout your mind, as it successfully carried onto your ears- you found yourself feeling sick. on a normal day you would be glad to hear it (and the dazzling smile that always accompanied it), but not anymore.

because you had found out that jake had most likely two timed you whilst you guys were together.

if it weren’t for minji texting you after she saw him with a girl on his arms, you wouldn’t have found out.

truly, you owed a lot to your best friend.

minji: y/n- SOS! ur ex is with a girl!

*video attached*

it got cut off but he said “poor y/n, she’s too much of a people pleasing pushover”. WTF!!!!!!

you: seriously? im omw :(

minji: what’s ur eta??

you: be there rn!!

you walked to your car and pinpointed minji’s location on life360 as memories of the breakup filled your subconscious.

“lets break up.”

as soon as those words were uttered from jake’s mouth, you halted what you were doing and let your eyes slowly flutter up to meet his stare.

at first you assumed he was joking. after all, he had made no prior indication that he wanted to break up with you. though the two of you hadn’t spent as much time together in the previous weeks, you accepted that it was because you both were busy with your own lives and couldn’t be with each other 24/7. and it wasn’t as though you had felt that anything was amiss in the relationship, because the two of you had been peacefully coexisting for a while.

but perhaps you were wrong and he had a different idea of what your relationship was like.

as of now, you just wanted to know why. “oh… is there a reason?”

jake hesitated for a moment, then sighed. “yes, there is.”

before you had the opportunity to ask why, he ruffled his chocolate-esque hair with his hands and answered for you. “it’s really not you, it’s me. i just… don’t feel like right now is a good time for me to be in a relationship. you know?”

you felt something was off with his reasoning. the two of you had been together for 4 years, and jake wanted to break it off out of nowhere because it ‘wasn’t a good time’? what exactly made it not a good time? it didn’t make much sense, but you weren’t the type to throw a fit because of a breakup. you were the paranoid, constantly worried about saying the wrong thing type.

if he had his reasons, then you had to respect that. as much as it broke your heart.

but did you really want to?

“and you couldn’t ask me first before jumping the gun?” you grabbed jake’s hand, more confused than upset by how easily he wanted to break things off and how lazy the excuse felt. “i mean, i-i feel like this came out of nowhere. we’ve been dating for 4 years…” you noticed his expression grow more tired. “i’m sorry, i’m not trying to be rude! i guess i’m just surprised you didn’t say anything about it first.”

“i tried! i just couldn’t bring myself to do it, I guess.” jake pursed his lips, seemingly putting his thoughts together before speaking again. “i like you y/n, i really do, but i just don’t think we work. you have to agree- we haven’t been getting along well these days.”

you gave him a sad smile when you realized that you two had completely different perspectives about your dynamic. he considered it strained, while you considered it peaceful. he thought this was a reason to end a relatively long lasting relationship while the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind.

because after all, you loved him too much to even consider that.

“i guess you’re right.” you lied. you couldn’t agree to his judgment, but you couldn’t speak up about it either.

before jake could open his mouth in response, you spoke up again. “as much as i don’t want to do it, I'll have to respect your wishes. it’s for the better if we did… you know…” you looked at jake with tears beginning to cloud your vision. “break up. i’m sorry.”

the perturbed male let out a breath, as you could tell he attempted not to roll his eyes. you felt your heart crack with every action he took, each one somehow upsetting you more than the last. “yes, y/n. we’re done. i can’t handle us anymore.”

and with that you retired into your room, searching for anything and everything to make you feel his presence once more.

“he’s been totally lying!!” you whisper yelled to minji, the two of you watching the couple from a distance. in any other circumstance it would be weird. but considering how clear it was that he broke up with you for her, you didn’t feel bad. “talking about how he wasn’t ready for a relationship… not ready my ass!”

minji put an arm on your shoulder in consolation. “you deserve better than that.”

“damn right i do.” you said, the apparent anger being a cover for the sadness you truly felt deep down. of course you wanted to run back to him and act as though everything was normal, but you knew the truth. he stopped being yours long ago.

it was truly absurd. you had spent hours upon hours post breakup trying to feel alright again; trying to fill the hole that jakes abrupt leaving had opened up. but all of that.. for what? just for it to end up being a whole lie? you felt dumb. not just because of how he made you feel, but because of how you had to pretend to be angrier than you actually were in order to actually be angry about it. it wasn’t that you didn’t feel angry, but rather that the sadness was more prevalent.

you wanted jake to see what he had done to you, to see how he had betrayed you. but passive, people pleaser y/n wasn't the type to confront people.

“hey y/n, you ready to get this show on the road?” jay, a close friend of jake’s, smirked as he grabbed your waist.

you chuckled in response, not hesitating to place a rushed kiss on his cheek. “ready as i’ll ever be.”

such a shame, jake didn’t know who he was dealing with.

authors note. 🤓🤓🤓 this is kind of ass im ngl part 2 coming soon maube

permanent taglist. @muhwaa @hoori @yizhoutv @ja4hyvn @carayat @one16core @enhacolor @haerinz @soobin-chois @en-boyz @ohmy-fandoms @yeongwonie @yjwonz @yunki4evr @strwberrydinosaur @duolingofanaccount @iichaeyj @eundiarys @ineedaherosavemeenow @chaerybae @bubblytaetae @w3bqrl @xiaoderrrr @jaeyunnsworld @rikizm (if u requested to be on my permanent taglist and u didn’t get tagged it’s bc i cant see ur acc, but pls dm me if u want to be in it !)

[misojunnie]

Hiiii! Can I please request an Euijoo as your boyfriend? Your K and Nicho ones were just *chefs kiss* 👏🏻👏🏻

의주 - ej as your bf!

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

soooo gentle it’s unbelievable :( we all know ej is a soft boy

the type to bring you snacks and a hot pack when you’re on your period (if u have one)

comes over if you had a nightmare no matter what time it is, even if it’s 2 am

cuddles with ej are so sweet.

he’d rest his head on your shoulder and wrap his arms around your waist, rubbing his thumbs gently along your skin

every time is snack time lowkey. this is a man who loves to snack with you

would rather stay in for movie dates then go out

soooo sleepy. you guys would be sleeping in until like noon just cuddling and snoozing

builds you lego flowers and leaves them on your doormat for you to find when you come home

listens to everything you say

will remember every detail about you, even ones you consider insignificant

has your coffee order memorized.

he’s so nice but this boy can be immature as hell

whining and pouting when he doesn’t get what he wants 😭😭

doesn’t really get jealous, he just gets sad

he’ll stare at you with big doe eyes until you finally get the hint that he’s upset

buys you little candy bouquets or heart chocolates

he’s so babygirl tbh. I can picture him just sitting around and whining about not getting enough attention while you’re gaming

he’s sweet but he has some sass don’t be fooled. he’s an avid eye roller

king of obliviousness

you literally had to ask him out three times in a row for him to finally get the hint

“I like you, EJ.” “I like you too! you’re like my best friend <3”

he couldn’t even picture the fact that you had a crush on him. I can imagine him buffering after you finally confessed properly

now he’s OBSESSED with you

very gentlemanly and sweet. kisses your knuckles and sweeps the hair out of your face

he’s so shy and has a hard time communicating but doesn’t hesitate to let you know he loves you

“I love you, ej.” “I love you to the moon and back.”

a/n: I am unbelievably happy u guys are loving the &team content!!!! they are lowkey taking over my blog lately….sorry enhypen. keep the requests coming, I love seeing ur guys’ ideas!!! they’re so cute <3

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Still thinking about being childhood friends with Ajax and knowing him after he gained Foul Legacy

Like just sitting in his room, curled up under blankets and watching the snow fall as Foul Legacy chitters and chirps at you, hands gently holding ur face.

Foul Legacy getting sad cause as Ajax gets older n taller so does Legacy, but that means he can’t really fit in your lap anymore :(( Him trying to clamber into your lap like a big dog and he just ends up laying on you, like a big ol weighted blanket

houhh my boy, i wannaa hold his face [📺]

*slaps post* this right here is my favorite thing ever, in the history of forever

see, you're used to Snezhnaya's weather; you've lived there all your life, it's basically inevitable. but that doesn't mean that you LIKE Snezhnaya's weather- in fact, you hate it. the frigid air brings sickness no matter what time of the year, the ice makes everything slippery, and the few times it does warm up the roads are always full of slush. the only saving grace is that the snow is pretty, you just prefer watching it from inside, a sentiment which Foul Legacy shares with you. Ajax used to like dragging you outside for ice fishing on such days, but now it seems that he's more than content to let his Abyssal half take the reins, and Legacy has firmly decided that there's no better place to be than next to you, preferably with several blankets and some hot chocolate

when the time comes that Foul Legacy can't fit on your lap anymore (for the record, Ajax can't either- he can lift you up now though!!) you propose a new idea- blanket forts!! you're very good at making them and it also means that there'll be enough space for both of you. you build them near the window so you can watch the snowflakes flutter to the ground, Legacy's chin on your shoulder and arms wrapped around your waist as he purrs. he and Ajax only feel truly at peace in your presence, although it becomes more melancholic when Ajax is shipped away to the Fatui, waking up cold in the middle of the night and missing your comforting hugs... hopefully you'll be able to forgive him for leaving you behind, though he's not sure that Legacy will ever forgive himself

[finelinevogue]

omg okay!! idea! i am so so obsessed with the hazel verse, i NEED a family dinner blurb w/ harry, y/n, hazel and anne n’ gemma at anne’s house! i’m so obsessed w ur acc rn it’s unreal 🤍🤍

umm yes this is necessary 😌✌️ and thank you so much!!!

February 20th 2027

“Hazel Mae.”

Harry sternly told off your four year old daughter, who was misbehaving as the dinner table.

You were currently celebrating Hazel’s fourth birthday at Anne’s house, after celebrating her actual birthday at yours surrounded by her nursery friends. Your mum was there too, providing the food, so the only close family person who hadn’t seen Hazel at for years old was Anne.

But Hazel was misbehaving and making a scene, causing you to become more stressed.

Harry didn’t appreciate seeing you stressed, especially when you were pregnant with your second baby. Your baby was two months along and you could already tell they were a lot more peaceful of a child than Hazel. Maybe that meant it would be a boy.

“Hazel, listen to daddy please.” You sighed, watching Hazel pout fiercely at her dad as he tried to get her to eat her peas.

“No!” She exclaimed, pushing Harry’s hand, that was holding a knife, away.

“Hazel! You could hurt yourself, don’t be silly.” Harry argued, afraid for her. He was only angry, because she was going to be hungry and sad later, but also because if she accidentally hurt herself from her strop then he’d never forgive himself.

“I don’t want them.” Hazel stressed, slapping her hands down on the high chair that Anne kept at her house. She wasn’t big enough to sit at the adult chairs yet, still only being a small girl for her age.

Anne was watching from the other side of Harry, whilst Gemma sat next to you and Michal was at the top of the table. It was embarrassing for you to see Hazel behave like this, because you couldn’t help but think everyone was judging you and believing that you were a bad mum.

Many a time before Harry has sat with you for hours, convincing you that you were nothing short of perfect. Your mum abilities were second to none, he would assure you. He wasn’t going to let you go a day without knowing how amazing you were and what a blessing you were in Hazels life. It was those little reminders that kept you going and allowed you to keep believing in yourself.

“Hazel, please my love.” You said nicely, trying kindness as a tactic, using her fork to push some peas onto it.

Instead of eating them, she instead pushed your hand away and let the peas roll over the table and even onto the floor. Your jaw fell open as you were shocked with her behaviour. You thought you’d taught her better than to argue with violence. If she has something she wants to voice, she has to learn to do it vocally not physically.

“Bad mummy.” She told you off and went back to aggressively pouting.

You sat back in your chair, contemplating what Hazel had just told you.

It was hard to hear that you were a bad mum when you knew exactly what a bad mum looked like from personal experience. To think that you were anything like that woman made you feel physically sick. It hurt to think that Hazel thought you weren’t good enough, even if it was just for a moments time.

You tried to keep your tears at bay, but you could feel them welling up in your eyes along with that horrible lump in the back of your throat. Keeping your head down you rested your hand over your small belly and thought to yourself, if you couldn’t be a good mum to one child then how could you be a good mum to another? Was it cruel to bring another human into the world if you weren’t good enough?

“Hazel, look, if you eat your peas then you can have some of nana’s homemade chocolate cake?” Gemma asked and that made Hazel’s eyes light up with excitement.

“Okay.” She nodded and picked up her fork to start eating again.

If it wasn’t bad enough already that you couldn’t get her to behave yourself, then it was even worse that Gemma was a better motherly figure to your daughter than you were.

You stood up from the table before you had an anxious breakdown in front of everyone. “Excuse me, sorry.”

You made a mental note to come and thank Anne for a lovely meal later, but for now you couldn’t think of anything other than get somewhere quiet so you could have a cry to yourself.

Walking upstairs, you went into the guest bedroom, where you and Harry were staying, and wandered into the bathroom, softly closing the door behind you. You sat on the cold floor tiles and brought your knees up to your chest, before letting a few tears overtake your body.

It simply to hurt to think that you might just be exactly like the woman before you. It was terrifying in fact.

“Lovie?” Harry knocked on the door before entering, not waiting for you to respond because he already knew that you’d need him and his hugs regardless.

He quietly made his way onto the floor next to you, sitting down so he could pull your body across him and onto his lap. You fit perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle finding home. Your head rested on his chest, light sobs escaping your body. His hand rubbed your back smoothly, whilst also supporting your body, whilst his other grasped onto one of your hands.

Your felt his lips touch the top of your head and you breathed out a heavy sigh from comfort.

“S-sorry.” You weren’t sure what you were apologising for, but you did it anyways.

“Nothing to apologise for, bub.”

“Just can’t help but think i’m a bad mum. That i’m like her. And, like, what the hell am I doing bringing another child into the world if I can’t even be good enough for Hazel.” You continued to cry against him and you could feel his head shaking with every word that you spoke.

“Thank you for talking to me about this and helping me understand how you feel,” He often told you this as a way for you to understand it was okay to tell people how you feel, “But I’m fucking proud of the woman you are and the mum you’ve come to be. I am infatuated with you every day and it only grows as I watch the bond between you and Hazel grow. And hey, she was a tiny pain in our asses tonight but we get through it together. Just because she throws a tantrum doesn’t make us bad parents, or people. We just grow and learn from them. We grow and learn from each other.”

You sniffled and tilted your head up from his chest. “You always know what to say that it actually makes me look bad.”

He shook his head and leant down to kiss your lips a couple of times. “You help me in more ways than just words, baby.”

To most people that would sound like he was being gross and sexy, but to you you knew he meant it in a loving and intimate way. No one made your heart quite beat like he did and it was very apparent that he felt exactly the same way about you.

“I try my best, H.” You nodded and he smiled so warmly at you, he was like your own miniature version of the sun.

“You do more than that m’love. I’m proud that you’re the mum to our daughter every day and I can’t wait until we have this one too.”

You stayed in his arms for a bit longer, Harry just whispering sweet words into your ear. He knew that at times like these you could send yourself to very dark places, but with every kind word that he spoke you were able to pull yourself back and stay in the light.

“I want to go hug Hazel.” You told him softly.

“Okay. Let’s do it together, yeah?”

You nodded and he helped you up off the floor. He held onto your hand as you walked down the stairs and into the lounge. It was clear that Hazel had finished at the dining table and she was happily watching Cbeebies now, surrounded by her mass of toys that Anne kept for her here.

Instead of disturbing her, you sat down on the two-seater sofa and smiled at Anne and Gemma. They knew how hard that must’ve been for you so they would never criticise you over your daughters behaviour. Plus they were just good people and good people don’t hurt others.

Hazel must’ve noticed you sit down because the next thing you know she’s flinging herself at your body. You helped her climb up your legs and onto your lap, not stopping herself until she had her arms around your shoulders and was squeezing you tightly.

“I love you mummy.” She said softly and you had to purse your lips to keep you from crying again.

Harry came and sat down next to you, admiring his two girls reuniting. He knew that Hazel never meant what she had said, but he was proud that she knew what she said was wrong and was dealing with it appropriately. This was something that Harry would remind you later on as evidence for being an awesome parent.

“I love you too, baby.” You kissed the side of her head and she remained there for the rest of the evening.

There was no better place than here, in a family home, with some of the most important people in your life.

[bluerskiees]

TACHIBANA NAOTO FLUFF ☁️

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

¤ He's a little bit shy, so he always gets nervous when you stare at him for too long.

¤ Would like it when you call him. Your voice is his fav melody.

¤ Not having a good day? It's alright Naoto is here to spoil you with hugs, kisses, cuddles, fav food, chocolates etc...

¤ Dates: Mostly includes stay in. Parks, pottery, movie dates etc...

¤ Would write you songs if you're sad :(

¤ Would worry because he just loves you so much and since he's a police officer tailing bonten, what if they hurt you?

¤ After 6 years of dating you, he's still not sure if he really does deserve someone like you.

¤ Loves the way you play with hair

¤ Accidentally saw you naked once.

¤ Yeah he fainted. 👀

¤ Would praise you if you're insecure :(♡

¤ Has a pair of birds as pets.

¤ Named them both after you.

¤ Has your contact saved as "Cupcakes"

¤ If he was an emoji, he'd be "🐹"

¤ Cute, Sweet, brings joy, hard-working, chill around you, loves attention from you. Just like a hamster.

¤ You got to know him through one of your olfer friends from music class, Hina.

¤ Even if that was YOUR first time meeting him, he knew wayyyyy before that.

¤ Saw you for the first time when you both were 12. He came to watch his big sis after he had a dream about a guy who he met the day before. Hetold him the gruesome future and his big sis's death.

¤ He was beyond depressed to the least. But he was glad. Because that moment changed his whole future. Feom saving his big sis, becoming a police man ( a profession he hated the most) ,and to meeting you.

¤ He saw the way you sing, the way you react, everything.

¤ He knew you like that back of his hand. The way you bite your lips when you're nervous, the way your hands immediately clutc the hem of your dress when someone scolds you, the way you literally have stars— the whole universe I your eyes watching wholesome moments.

¤ He saw how you optimistic you were, spreading the infectious joy of yours with everyone around you, smiles and giggles everywhere you go. Once overheard you saying how you liked good guys because they help others and make a positive change, he couldn't help but smile. That's when he was sure he chose the right professional.

¤ He liked adoring you from the sidelines and that is until hina came to find about her younger brother's crush on her best friend. He was so embarrassed that day.

¤ Hina set you up with him. Inviting you over for a movie night

¤ That's when you both first talked. His almost fell asleep hearing your voice. Not in an offensive way but because I was so calming and soothing.

¤ He definitely bakes you a cake or something whenever he could to make up for the time he was too busy with work.

¤ Dating a police officer is hard. But you both make it work.

¤ It took hm years to confess to you. He confessed to you when you both were 17. That is 5 years after he first started crushing on you.

¤ Brings home his handcuffs sometimes.

¤ Usually a soft Dom, but if he had a rough day, he'll tear your insides.

¤ One of the best aftercare. Would cuddle you to sleep and sometimes shower you of he went pretty wild.

¤ Trust you so much. But the others ? Nah.

¤ Still falls in love too deeply with even the littlest things you do.

¤ Is always proud of you no matter what.

¤ You went to your best friends house one day and it took too long for you to return so he called ur bsf to ask if you were safe.

¤ To his surprise, she said you didn't even come there that day. He felt his heart ache. Why would you lie to him? Did u find someone better ? He only realized he was crying when he felt his tears on the corner of his lips.

¤ He saw you come home not too later, you didn't look at him, ur head was facing down.

¤ When you told him about what you were doing, he started crying. He couldn't believe his own ears.

¤ Turns out you WERE planning to go to ur bsf's house, but on the way you saw a car hitting a poor dog and rushed to help it.

¤ Admitting the poor soul in a hospital, thats when you realized your phone was missing. You couldn't inform neither ur friend not you boyfriend. You were panicking until you heard the nurse say something about the doggie.

¤ You quickly forgot everything and paid for the surgery and everything and stayed a little longer to play with the cute soul now sleeping on your lap. It didn't want you to leave so that's how you spent the whole day.

¤ Naoto soon started laughing seeing how guilty you were for not informing anything and he quickly pulled you to a warm hug saying its alright and u dont gotta be guilty. To make it up, you told him you'd take him to see the forgot th next day and he agreed.

¤ He saw you having fun with the pup and that's when he realized you'd make a good mother. The thoughts of you both having mini versions running over the house etc.. made his heart flutter. That's when he was sure you're definitely the one for him.

¤ He proposed you not too long after. 🥺💍

¤ Best thing? He agreed to it when you told him you wanted to adopt the pup. You named her "Freya"

[Freya (Nordic) - goddess of love, beauty, fertility, war, wealth, divination and magic.]

⤷ ୨🎐୧࿐ @/anon

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. ginger beer drinker honey nut cheerio robin hood lefty eyebag 😅

I am okay today, how are you doing? Still cleaning or packing again for your trip?

I know, I am an old person. I can't help it but to sleep early 😞 I'm just ready for the new year because it will feel like a fresh start lol. I'm not doing anything new years eve, might drink a bit but not sure. Then I work on new years day and then after that I am hanging out with friends and playing some board games. How about you? What plans do you have in Texas?

So you make moscow mules at home then? I want to try that cocktail with the baileys. I love baileys..when Applebee's had the mudslide, I would always order it. Now I just like my regular coke and rum. Simple and boring lol

I will definitely ask you more about Indonesian food. For next year, I want to try more food and expand my taste.

Ah I see, I completely understand then. I used to be that way when it comes to showing emotions. But when it comes to sad movies, and the story just hits hard, I can't help but cry haha 😅 but when it comes to real life stuff, I am somewhat not showing anything until I am alone.

Wow look at you giving me more than I asked! Hahaha okay miss rebel. Fine, I'll do more too because I feel that i can't just list 3.

1. The Phantom of the Opera

2. Brooklyn 99

3. Modern Family

4. Rent

5. Fight Club

Next, name 3 scary movies that you can never watch again.

-CuriousGeorge

Hi hi hi.. there u go! My long nickname is back! Yay.hahaha. whats up corn-punn!

Im okay too.. just busy n clean up an endless mess. I'm by myself with em now so it's hard to do chores while she keeps want to play with me.

I havent packed anything at all.. the clothes i wanna bring r still in the dryer.lol.

Ah i see. I got what u meant about fresh start.. i hope i feel refreshed on new year which i doubt.lol.

We plan to hang out n eat some bbq n i want to enjoy the stuff that my cousin brought from indonesia. She just got back from indonesia n my sister sends some goodies for her to bring them for me.

N we r going to bring some big fireworks so we can light up some n put some show there.haha. we have a lot of huge serious fireworks in the attic because it's legal here n in texas.

N probably we'll get drunk with my cousin's husband 😅

I used to make moscow mule at home but now not really.hahaha. oh yeah baileys is my favorite. Sometimrs i just mix it with milk n add ice n just drink it like that. Or add it to my ice cream or chocolate shake 😅 the first time i tried mudslide is when i was on a cruise. So we bought all u can drink package for the whole week in every bar in the ship. So i tried every cocktail i found there n one of my co-worker who is a bartender let me borrow his cocktail book so imagine how much i drank.😅🤣 but i promise im not an alcoholic though. I like coke n rum too but i always have it with malibu coconut rum.

Oh yeah, ask me as much as u want about indonesian food.i will gladly answer u.

Haha yeah totally understandable about what u explain with the whole emotion things.

To be honest, i cried a looot when i broke up with my ex-gf. Then my mom passed away too.. n since that i feel like i cant cry that much anymore no matter how much i feel like i want to cry.

Haha of course i give u more than u asked, because i'm a very sweet n kind person.lol. i forgot to add on my list of movies i will always watch : Miss Congeniality ,Ocean's 8 and Knives Out.

I love ur lists.. what movie Rent is?

Scary movies i cant watch ever again are

1. Us

2. Insidious

3. All Paranormal Activity franchise movies.

4. All Wrong Turn franchise movies.

5. All Saw movies.

What about u?

Next question?

Cheerio!

[nar-nia]

hi, Nina :((

why does it feel like a goodbye?

“aftermath” was a closure, it felt very bitter at the beginning tho, the overall sadness got me, but the THE HERO hoonie :((( he was so sweet, im so happy that it went this way, the fact that he wanted her cuz she was good like wow, it must felt so heartwarming that after everything he was so confident in her <33   

also the distance :((( so sad she pushed them away :(( but i get it it must have been so hard,

but god.. the way heey/n  came back to each other was adorable <33

and finally the great reunion!!! and for what a great reason!!! congrats to them!!! i'm happy they all got close and after everything became friends

the last paragraph, my heart skipped a beat a little with heeseung “i love you” </3 what a why to end this beautiful story!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe its over :///

so i guess this is it, huh? why does it feel like a goodbye?

i remember, how i came across part 2 (i think) of love with benefits and i was instantly stunned cuz it was so good and i got so invested! and so every friday in my mind was lwb day </3

talking to u after reading chapters was something im gonna treasure cuz i don't know... u felt safe, ur whole blog feels safe, and like coming home from rainy day when u forgot an umbrella and u finally close the door and feel warm again or like when u sit in ur bed with fuzzy socks on and a cup of hot chocolate in the middle of snowy day… i guess what i'm trying to say its it felt just right, fuzzy on the heart <33 

thank you for bringing this amazing story to life with ur mesmerizing writing, it brought me so much joy and happiness, truly, it was a fantastic ride that i got to be a part of :))) i will always cherish this story because it brought u to me, well this sounds…cheesy but  honestly i don't even care,i that's how i feel so yeah

u are amazing and so sweet and i truly love love love this blog and the space it creates <33 

even though its over, it will always live in my mind, you know?  love u dearly nina ✨ 💖 

my beloved anon, i am crying and i honestly don't know what to say. i love you 💖

thank you so, so much for reading and for all the sweet asks you sent me during this. they really kept me going and i was looking forward to every new chapter because i knew i would get a new message in my ask box.

hero hoonie sounds so nice 🥺 that was kind off the first closure in this story, after who knows how many chapters of doubt we finally get one final "well done" from hoonie. I actually already teared up a bit while writing it (and even more while rereading).

this is really it and i can't believe it myself yet. what am i going to do on fridays now? i didn't think lwb ending would affect me this much but i think your ask made me realize that it's really over now. that sounds so dramatic 😅 but i love(d) this series a lot.

all those things you said about my blog make me so, so happy. being a safe place where you like to be and like to stay is all i could wish for, and i'm glad that you feel comfortable here. thank YOU for making me feel welcome and for your sweet asks, and for being here. it really means a lot that you put the effort in to consistently send me messages <33

thank you for being here, thank you for sticking around and thank you for being such a kind, amazing person. love you 💖💖

[s-brant]

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

[miyagihawk]

for hawk

lover of mine - 5sos

it's a selfship anthem, bby!

the lyrics make so much sense

i love 5sos!!!! ty for the request :)

lover of mine | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

warnings: cursing, i think that’s it?

summary: based on lover of mine by 5sos <3

Lover of mine

Maybe we'll take some time

Kaleidoscope mind

Gets in the way

Your relationship with Hawk was more complicated than most.

You had to be patient with him. His mind was like a kaleidoscope; his thoughts were in intricate patterns that you could never comprehend. It amazed you, but it also frustrated you when you couldn’t understand him.

And when it seemed like you finally did understand, he would shift into new colors and you’d have to start all over again.

“I just- I don’t get you, Hawk! Why are you always lying to me?” you said loudly, already feeling exhausted from the argument.

“I’m not! You just never believe me!” he turned it on you. Like always.

You looked at him with a hard stare and crossed your arms. “Did you or did you not break Demetri’s arm?” you asked in a calmer, but still threatening tone.

You already knew the answer; everyone was talking about what happened in the laser tag room. But here Hawk was, denying it. You just couldn’t grasp why he hid so much from you.

When he stayed silent with his gaze not meeting yours, you sat on your bed with an exasperated sigh.“We should take a break,” you interrupted the quiet atmosphere, looking up at where your boyfriend stood in front of you.

“What?” Hawk finally met your eyes with a hurt expression.

You patted the spot on the bed next to you, and he sat reluctantly. “I’m just tired. We need a break Hawk.”

“We don’t need a break,” he protested quietly, and the subtle sadness in his voice was enough to make your heart pang with hurt.

Hope and I pray

Darling, that you will stay

Butterfly lies

Chase them away

He was scared. Even through all the countless arguments and lies, you never left. Now you were suggesting a break, and Hawk knows from seeing other relationships that they always just end in an actual break up.

In a weird way, you did want to scare him. Because he would never change if you didn’t. You hated the idea of a break, but maybe Hawk would finally stop lying to you if you showed him you were serious.

“It’s not a breakup,” you assured, because you knew what he was thinking. For once. “We just need time apart for a little bit. To think.”

“About what?” he asked defensively, starting to raise his voice again.

“You and I. We’re quite toxic, you know?” you contrasted his volume in a lighter tone, making his face relax and his lips turn up a bit.

His small smile dropped suddenly, replaced by an anxious expression. “Don’t leave me Y/N.”

Your heart dropped at his words, and you wanted to wrap your arms around him. To tell him you’d never leave and that it was all okay. But it wasn’t all okay.

You grabbed his hand instead, “You’re my best friend. I love you. But I need this, okay? We both do. Just some time to figure out how we can fix... us.”

“I can fix it now, we don’t need to take a break. Please. I’ll never lie to you again. I just- I hate disappointing you,” he pleaded, tightening his hand around yours, and you wanted to give in.

But you knew that letting this go on, this never ending cycle, would only end with the both of you in a huge crash and burn.

“You said that last time,” you gave him a sad smile. “Let’s just figure our shit out, and then come back better for each other. We need this Hawk.”

-

6 months later

Things didn’t end so well after your break with Hawk. After spending some time apart, you two were just never close again.

None of you planned for it to happen; you just drifted away from each other. And neither of you exactly established when the “break” would be over.

So for the next few months, you passed each other in the halls without any acknowledgment of the other’s existence. Of course you missed him, but not being with him just became the new normal. And you accepted it and pushed your feelings aside.

“So you’ll meet us there? You sure you don’t want the limo to pick you up?” your friend Cara asked from across the lunch table.

“Yeah don’t worry about me, Jesse’s picking me up,” you replied, making the rest of your friends wiggle their eyebrows teasingly.

“What happened to prom with the girls, Y/N? I thought we established no boyfriends during prom season,” Cara pouted playfully, and you elbowed her in the ribs.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He just asked me to prom and that’s it,” you corrected.

Your other friend jumped in, “And why not? Jesse is so cute.”

As she asked, your eyes trailed away from your friends and towards a certain someone with loud red hair, sitting across the room with his karate posse.

Your group noticed your lack of attention and turned to see what you were looking at. They sighed in unison, making you bring your focus back to them.

“He’s why, isn’t he?” Cara gave you an understanding smile and rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. “It’s okay. Just have fun tonight.”

You only nodded, giving your kind friends a soft smile of appreciation.

As much as you tried to convince yourself that you’ve moved on fully, the boy with a kaleidoscope mind would always have a place in your heart.

-

Where is he?

You paced around your living room anxiously, checking your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the past hour.

You scrolled through the numerous texts you’ve sent, contemplating if you should send another one. Calling him wasn’t even an option; it went straight to voicemail everytime.

After an hour and a half, you gave up waiting and hoping that your prom date would show up. You flopped down onto the couch despairingly, replying to worried texts from your friends.

‘I’m not going to make it, just don’t worry about me. Have fun my loves.’ you typed, throwing your phone onto the floor right after.

You didn’t want to ask them to pick you up and ruin their night, and you were honestly too drained from being stood up to call an Uber.

So prom night ended up with you spread out on the couch with your outfit that you’ve planned out months ago, eating out of a carton of rocky road ice cream.

Honestly, it could’ve been worse. You could’ve been spending the night with an absolute jerk named Jesse. (a/n: so sorry if ur name is jesse lmao)

In the middle of your rom com movie marathon, an abrupt knock at the front door made you sit up from your pathetic, ice cream eating position on the sofa.

Immediately, you turned off the TV and tiptoed towards the door. You silently grabbed the baseball bat next to it, while squinting to see through the peephole.

Your stomach immediately dropped when you saw him.

Clad in a black suit, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

Shifting on his feet and chewing on his lip nervously, as he waited for you to open the door.

The boy you didn’t know you needed to see until now.

What is he doing here?

You covered your mouth in shock as you ran to the mirror to check if you had chocolate stains around your mouth. You smoothed down your hair and straightened out your dress in a frenzy, before unlocking the door with a deep breath in.

“Hawk?” you tried to act surprised, which wasn’t hard because your heart was racing.

He took a second to look at you in your wasted prom attire, and he was locked in a trance for a second before he snapped out of it. “Oh... uh, these are for you,” he held out the flowers to you and you took them with a smile.

“Wow, I love them. Thank you,” you brought them up to your nose for a whiff of your favorite floral scent. “So, what are you doing here?” you asked awkwardly.

“Oh crap, sorry, do you want to come in?” you said before he would answer, and you opened the door wider so he could step inside.

Hawk looked around the room where he’s been countless times, and he frowned at the sight of 13 Going On 30 paused on the screen with half melted ice cream on the coffee table. That movie plus the sweet dessert was your absolute comfort pairing, and it made him sad that you needed it.

“Cara texted me, and I was worried,” he finally spoke, answering your earlier question. You suddenly felt embarrassed as you placed the bouquet in a vase. You didn’t want to be pitied. Especially by your ex-boyfriend.

“I’m fine,” you said bluntly, busying yourself with the flowers so that you wouldn’t have to face him. You hadn’t talked to him since the night you suggested the break, and you already felt too exhausted from tonight’s events to even talk about it with him. “It’s better that I didn’t go to prom with that dick.”

Hawk chuckled at your remark, and you felt more at ease. The tension between you was thicker than an iceberg, and you didn’t know if you could handle it.

“So did you leave? Or are you just dressed up like that for me?” you smiled, sitting down on the couch where he followed.

He laughed again, lightening the mood even more. “I was there, but you know, Cara told me about what happened and... I just felt like I needed to come. It was lame though. The whole thing is just dancing. And I don’t dance,” Hawk explained, and you found yourself smiling at the thought of him caring about you. “But I know how excited you were about prom, so I thought I’d bring it to you. Some romantic shit like that.”

Your eyebrows raised at “romantic shit”, but you decided not to say anything about it. Although, it did make your cheeks heat up and you hoped he didn’t notice. “That’s really sweet Hawk. Thank you. Really,” you placed your hand on top of his, but you recoiled awkwardly because it felt too intimate, given the circumstances.

You cleared your throat, “So... since you’re bringing prom to me, does that mean I get a dance?” you got up and stood in front of him with your arms playfully crossed.

Hawk squinted his blue eyes at you, crossing his arms as well, “I don’t dance, remember?”

“For me you will, right? Or I could just, you know, dance by myself. It’s already been such a great night for me,” you teased, walking away from him towards a clear space in the living room.

He groaned from behind you and got up to follow, making you cheer happily. “For you I will,” he stated under his breath, releasing dozens of butterflies in your stomach.

Dance around the living room

Lose me in the sight of you

I've seen the red, I've seen the blue

Take all of me

You turned on your Dad’s old record player, where a slow, jazzy, 60s vinyl was spinning. You almost wanted to change it because it felt too romantic, but Hawk was already waiting behind you and you were scared he would change his mind.

The rush his presence gave you made you boldly put your hands on his shoulders, and he stiffly placed his own on the curve of your waist. Your hands were locked at the nape of his neck; his hold on you was light as if you were fragile china.

You forgot how intoxicating it felt to be this close to him, and you wondered how you went so long without that feeling.

The both of you swayed to the smooth melodies of Nina Simone with interlocked eyes, and with every second his hands on your hips became more relaxed. You rested your head on his chest, pulling him closer.

For a song or two, none of you said anything; there was just an unspoken appreciation of each other’s presence. After 6 months without him, you needed this.

I'll never give you away

'Cause I've already made that mistake

If my name never fell off your lips again

I know it'd be such a shame

When I take a look at my life

And all of my crimes

You're the only thing that I think I got I right

“I should’ve never let you go,” Hawk whispered close to your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“I was the one who wanted the break. It’s my fault,” you opposed, lifting your head up from his chest to look up at him.

He raised one of his hands to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and it brought a warm smile to your face. “But I didn’t chase after you,” his lips turned down into a frown.

You put your hands on the sides of his face while you two continued to sway to the staticky vinyl. “Maybe it’s both of our faults,” you laughed lightly, touching his soft skin.

“It’s me Y/N. I’m the one who lied to you throughout the whole relationship. I’m so sorry,” Hawk looked down at you with glossy eyes. “I’ve done so much fucked up shit. But you’re the only thing I got right. I hate myself for ruining it too.”

Your felt yourself melt at his confession. “It’s not ruined,” you disputed. “You aren’t perfect and I’m not either. I shouldn’t have given up on us. I’m sorry.”

He closed his eyes in peace as your hands ran through his bright hair. It was down from its usual style, giving him a softer look.

“Maybe we both messed up. But I’m never giving you away again Y/N. I won’t make that mistake. I love you,” the boy you’ve missed for months admitted, saying everything you wanted to hear.

You kissed him in reply.

a/n: ah idk if i like this but i hope u do, i feel like my writings are getting repetitive im having bad writers block (as u can tell by how slow im doing requests)

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

Hi!

What do you think about la squadra(separately) with s/o that is very childlish? Like, not a little child ofc, they can get serius when it has to be, and they talk ,like, normally (without "owo uwu" shit). They just loooove some cute things, animals etc. They also love watching cartoons, play games, and many other things likke that.

If you don't want to write it that's okay :)))

Bye bye <3

awwww i love it!!!!!

la squadra with a cutesy and playful partner 😚

risotto ✂️

he loves cute things too, he gets it. he adores how excitable and sweet you are and you absolutely count as cute things that he loves

the two of you will fawn over the neighbourhood cats together and every time you run into his office with fun shaped snacks to share cause u both love them (like gummies or cookies or chocolates) his heart goes ❤️❤️❤️❤️💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕💕💕

he appreciates that you're not afraid to get serious when the time calls for it too but seeing you without your normal attitude is so jarring and sad for him, he'll work twice as hard to fix what's wrong to see you smiling again. you're so full of love and wonder despite everything and that's so precious to him, he's protective (he knows and respects that you can handle yourself he just loves u) and would never want you to change for the wrong reasons ya kno

you absolutely balance each other out very well and you're fucking adorable to see because he's so stoic and scary and then ur this energetic sweetheart

he's not really one for cartoons or video games but he'll indulge ur interests!!! if he has the time to watch a cute movie with u (like disney) he will pay attention and give u his honest opinion

prosciutto 🚬

OPPOSITES ATTRACT HUH

honestly when you first joined the team he was an ass about it, thought it was unbecoming of an assassin to behave so childishly (the others already give him a headache) but the fact that you stood your ground actually really impressed him. you're still an adult and you're not unreasonable, you know when to take things seriously, you just have your eccentricities like everyone else in this circus and he came to appreciate your point of view and your seemingly boundless enthusiasm for nice things in life. he later expressed as much to you during his apology for being an ass.

you temper each other. he'll be your grounding force and you'll help him loosen up

he does like how ur sweet and open with your affection. if he grumbles about sharing the bed with plushies that's code for 'cuddle me instead'

he also loves bringing you to cafés that do those fancy or fun shapes in the lattes cause he loves to see your eyes light up and fawn over how 'its almost too pretty to drink!!!' it's really quite adorable how excitable u are and prosciutto is not immune to it

pesci 🎣

he very very much loves and appreciates it, you're a big comfort to him. the instant you chugged milk with him and gave him a silly grin with a milk moustache, he was in love

your sweetness and energy picks him up and when you've dropped your attitude he will take on the WHOLE WORLD to hear you laugh again. he's very protective and he's the first to jump to your defense if the others tease you or otherwise give you a hard time

he could listen to you gush for hours. he will absolutely sit and watch cartoons with u. he's not the greatest at video games but he'll try his best for u

because of his name you'll often lovingly make that cute fishy face at him with the kissy lips and ur eyes crossed and his heart explodes every time

he has somewhat of a sweet tooth, he likes things that have a light sweetness to them rather than anything super sugary. you'll share desserts and it's very cute

formaggio 🧀

he LOVES IT. he's just as fun-loving, there's never a dull moment with you two whether you're playing a dumb game you made up out of boredom, you're dancing and he's twirling you around, or ur in a pillow/tickle fight and play wrestling. you tend to get each other into trouble but you both snicker about it. two peas in a pod.

cats like you more than they like him but he can often get his pets in if the kitty is curled in ur lap and u both get giddy about it

you definitely game together. he's not as into the cartoons but he'll still watch em with you, he thinks they're cute and you're cute, but he may fall asleep during movies

he's a very grounding support when things require you to be serious, you work together hand in hand to solve the issue so u can get back to laughing

and he will do anything to hear u giggle, doesn't matter if he makes a damn fool of himself, he doesn't care. as far as he's concerned your laugh is the best sound in the world

illuso ✨

oh, he will tease you about it. probably in a way that's kind of mean when you first join, but you aren't bothered by him or concerned with his opinion. if you point out that he's the childish one for trying to get a rise out of you when you're just minding your own business, that has EVERYONE appreciating you because it's unbearably fun to see illuso taken down a notch. that has him huffing and retreating for a bit and having a think. when he comes back, he's less of an ass. as you grow closer, he apologizes.

now the only way he teases is gentle and loving and fond, because you really are quite adorable and he wouldn't have it any other way. it honestly kind of freaks him out when you get serious but he doesn't show it, he'll just place a gentle hand on your arm or your waist and work with you to resolve the issue. he's relieved when you smile again

he warms up to your plushies because they're nice cozy additions to his piles of pillows for lounging around on and they make u happy

he may keep up his aloof air when he picks up a controller with u or watches over ur shoulder like he has nothing better to do but he gets REALLY into it and competitive, or intensely supportive and backseat gaming if ur going solo

he honestly loves how sweet u are because that sort of thing doesn't really come easy to him

melone 🍈

he thinks ur absolutely adorable and makes sure u know it. he's playful too in a more relaxed sort of way so he mellows you out while still having fun

he loves to hear you gush and wants to get involved in ur passions. he's pretty good at gaming but he'll get more into admiring/analyzing the design aspect of it and same w/ cartoons, he's concerned for all the babies out there because they deserve good stories that make them think and benefit their growth and he will think out loud about how a show/movie fares in that regard after you've watched it together

he can talk a lot about animals with u too!!!! every time u grin or coo at a cute creature or Stay Very Still so a butterfly will land on u and giggle cause it tickles, his heart is doing backflips and he can't believe someone as wonderful as u exists and loves him as much as he loves you

ADULT COLOURING BOOKS!!!!! he absolutely loves to fill in the pages with u and add onto the designs outside the lines in all sorts of colours

he admires that ur not afraid to get serious when it's called for but still so sweet, he's so drawn to you and you make everyone's day better and just light up the room

ghiaccio ❄️

he also loves cute things. that includes u. but it will take him a while to admit out loud how adorable you are because he's flustered about it

forget normie relationship milestones like moving in together, the moment u both started slowly familiarizing your plushie collections to each other, swapping or gifting ones u saw and HAD to get for them or keeping two of them together because they're friends now Do Not Seperate!!!!, he knew this was Real

one of his favorite pastimes is sharing a big big cozy sweater with u, it doesn't matter if it's a bit tight with two people in it or that ur faces are squished together, he'll wrap his arms around u (if u haven't already put ur hands in the sleeves too) and cuddle u against him like a fluffy, snuggly, grumpy cat. welcome to sweater town, population u and ghiaccio

ur both very into pokemon too. you'll spend hours with ur heads bent together over ur gameboys with each other's companion games for that generation and help each other with trading and version exclusives

he's the first to yell at anyone for teasing you and he honestly gets a little freaked out when you go serious but he won't show it. he'll want to address the problem as quickly as possible tho and discreetly hug u when ur giggling again

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

THEY LOVE IT UR ADORABLE. they're both playful in their own ways (sorbet is more chill and dry wit sort of playful, gelato is no impulse control and hyena cackling sort of playful) and they love to have fun with u

it's also like.... the world is fucked up and they're both kinda fucked up (more than kinda), and they know you're not like an innocent baby or at all incompetent (hell, you may be kinda fucked up too, who isn't when ur an assassin) but it's just. nice to see someone else having fun and being sweet and enjoying things about life. so they are very protective of you when things get serious, they never EVER want to see you become embittered and will do absolutely anything to get you laughing again as soon as possible. which, guaranteed, they do

gelato has always had a short attention span so he knows what to do for entertainment and sorbet knows how to entertain, he may be the more patient one but they both like to mix things up and keep the surroundings interesting. they will play all sorts of games with u, video games or card games or stupid shit like beer pong or making a game of how many marshmallows u can each fit in ur mouths. you'll all go for a nice walk in the park and nothing is more relaxing for sorbet than kickin back on a bench while his rowdy babes end up tussling in the dirt. be free

of course, u and gelato also drag him into the dirt and put flowers in his hair and he would want nothing less

they'll both squish ur cheeks and lovingly tease u about how cute u are. blow a raspberry at them and they'll give u a kiss

sorbet will throw u over his shoulder and carry u around (no matter ur body type, he's strong!!!) + gelato will smatter ur face in kisses, just to hear u squeal and giggle

[shoutaaizawas]

I know youre probably busy but I was thinking maybe 👉👈 you could do a fic bakugo x reader where you ask bakugo out he rejects you and starts being mean to you only for you to get sad and distant and the other students start hating on bakugo fir hurting you (Pls take ur time ur probs busy you dont have to do it right away

thanks for your patience~ i always love writing for bakugou

↳ bakugou katsuki x reader → sorry

summary: bakugou rejects your confession in a panic but quickly regrets it and tries to make it up to you word count: 1,541 tags/warnings: light angst with a happy ending

Bakugou Katsuki was not a boy that earned a lot of attention from girls, more often than not girls were scared off by his demeanor. But you weren’t scared off by him. If anything his fiery spirit was endearing in a way. You had a crush on him but you hadn’t yet worked up the courage to tell him.

He was your friend, as much as anyone was friends with Bakugou. You hung out with him in groups and even spent time with him studying or training. A part of you was scared that if you told him how you felt it would ruin the relationship. You didn’t want to lose him as a friend.

It was one day when you heard that another student was interested in him, that you decided that you needed to say something. The last thing you wanted was to miss your chance and for someone else to date him.

You decided to make him his favorite dessert, he wasn’t big on sweets but he mentioned once that he really liked chocolate chip banana bread. You spent all night trying to get the recipe perfect. You placed it in a nice tin to keep it safe and attached a little note to it.

It was after class, you were heading back to the dorms to study with Bakugou. You thought it’d be best to get it over with. You stopped on the path as you walked beside him, pulling out the tin with the dessert in it.

“What are you doing?” He asked turning around.

“I-I wanted to tell you something.” You said. What you hadn’t expected was for there to be a good amount of other students around when you did this. It was too late now. You held the tin in your hands nervously playing with it. “Bakugou, I really like you. More than a friend and I was wondering if you’d go out on a date with me.” You said holding it out in front of you as an offering.

Even though your nerves you saw Bakugou’s expression change a few times before he spoke.

“Why would I be interested in an extra like you?” His biting tone cut through the silence.

“Oh.” Your voice was quiet. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at Bakugou. No, don’t cry not now in front of everyone. The metal of the tin rang out as it hit the ground loudly. You swallowed painfully before running off in the direction of the dorms.

Bakugou stood there staring blankly at the space where you stood moments before. He could hear snickers from the students around him. He turned around to glare at them and they ran away. He kneeled down picking up the tin you had dropped. Opening it he saw his favorite dessert and his heart dropped. Grabbing a piece he was shocked at how good it was, it was even better than his own recipe. There was a note on top of the container.

Bakugou,

I hope you enjoy this, I know my baking isn’t as good as yours but it was made with love.

Every passing moment he felt more and more like a monster. The teary look on your face haunted him.

Why did he say that? He liked you too but he never expected you to feel the same way. With all the people around he panicked and did what came naturally to him, he was mean. He knew he should apologize and explain but he just couldn’t bring himself to. He went to the training gym and took his frustration out there.

“I know you can be mean sometimes but you had no right to do that to her,” Mina said, approaching him as he sat at his desk waiting for class to start. He couldn’t reply before she continued. “She really likes you, the least you could have done was let her down easy.”

Mina stomped off before he could say anything to defend himself. Not like there was anything he could say to defend himself.

You were nowhere to be seen for the rest of the day.

The rest of the week he got dirty looks from his classmates, even Kirishima had given him a disappointed look in the cafeteria before sitting down at your table to eat.

He couldn’t bear to look at you, even with the other students flocking to your side to cheer you up, you still looked so sad and it was all his fault.

“Man, that was really messed up,” Denki said walking beside him to class. “You know you could have just said you weren’t interested.”

“Shove off Pikachu.” He growled before walking ahead.

He knew how bad he messed up, he couldn’t sleep at night, he could barely eat. All he could think about was how sad you looked. He had to make it up to you but how?

“On one condition,” Kirishima said. “You never hurt her again.”

“I didn’t mean to in the first place, okay. I don’t like seeing her sad.” Bakugou replied. “I just need your help to make it up to her.”

“Alright but I’m holding you to it.” He said.

Bakugou had a plan and he hoped it would work. He was cooking all of your favorite foods. Then he would set up on the balcony of the common room a table with candles and you could eat together. Or by yourself, if you decided not to forgive him. All he needed from Kirishima was for him to bring you out there.

You had one of the worst weeks of your life. Every day you were both too embarrassed and too sad to leave your room. You got away with one day but you knew you couldn’t sacrifice your learning for some guy. Even if it was Bakugou Katsuki.

Your friends had been amazing, staying by your side, bringing you food and anything else you need but it only could do so much. Time would be the best solution, Momo told you. You knew she was right but you just wished it would hurry up and make you feel better.

It was a Friday night and you were sulking in your room listening to sad music once again. You weren’t expecting a knock at your door. You sighed it was probably one of your friends hoping to cheer you up but you just wanted to be alone right now.

“Kirishima?”

“Hey, I need to show you something.” He said.

“I’m really tired, Kiri. I just want to stay in my room.” You told him.

“Please, it’s important.” He said. The genuine look in his eyes guilted you into following.

As he led you to the common room balcony you thought you might scream if Kirishima made you leave your room to show you another cute frog outside again.

What you didn’t expect was a nice table covered in a white cloth with flowers and candles. Even more so was Bakugou standing there with a guilty look on his face. Before you could question Kirishima he was gone.

You looked at Bakugou before turning to leave.

“Wait, please.” You were shocked to hear him say please. It made you pause. “Just let me explain myself and I’ll leave if you want me to.”

“Okay.” You said more curious than anything else. What was he up to?

“I didn’t mean what I said. I was caught off guard and there were all those people there and I spoke before I could think.” He said.

“Yeah, imagine how embarrassing it was to be rejected like that in front of everyone.” You said. You knew it was unheard of for Bakugou to apologize but it would take more than that to earn your trust again.

“I know, I know. I feel horrible about it.” He said, rubbing his forehead. “What I’m trying to say is- I’m sorry.” The words came out quite but he did in fact say he was sorry.

“Okay.” You said, not quite sure what to say.

“Not just that but I feel the same way.” He admitted. “I like you too and I want to go on a date with you.”

You were even more stunned, he felt the same way?

“I made your favorite food, I can leave.” He said opening the metal cover over the plates. It looked amazing and smelled even better. “You can eat with Kirishima instead if you want.”

Bakugou started to head for the door but you caught him by his wrist

“No. Stay.” You said. “This can be our first date.”

Bakugou smiled. Not his usual cocky smirk or the smile he gave when he was about to beat someone up. The soft smile stopped your heart for a moment.

You sat down together at the table.

“I would have worn something nicer if I knew this was going to be a date.” You laughed. He smiled at your joke.

“You look better than anyone else I’ve seen.” He said. You hadn’t expected any of this but you really weren’t expecting Bakugou to be so smooth.

Things weren’t always going to be easy with Bakugou but he knew how to show he cared when it mattered most.

[starlight-writes-stuff]

SO HEAR ME OUT an nsfw alphabet for draco

hey bestie - im literally so excited to do this (: i have a guilty pleasure of reading nsfw alphabets so u really hit the nail on the head with this request . n e ways , enjoy !

AYO LOOK AT THESE ! : smut (duh but still) , hair pulling , breeding k!nk , unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it) , masturbation , choking , light bondage , praise kink , general adult themes and content so please only read if ur okay with that .

reblogs are always appreciated ! <3 ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

draco is the literal definition of a fluff fic after sex - hes so soft and loving and affectionate . if the sex was on the rougher side , draco goes out of his way to kiss any bruises , cuts , or red marks he may have left on you, soothing the sinfully painful spots with soft touches of his suddenly gentle fingertips.  

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

draco is built like a greek mf god , and he knows it . he’s all lean , toned muscles and his alabaster pale skin only makes him look more ethereal . draco is quite proud of his body and isn’t afraid to show off if needed.

draco literally loves everything about you , and you’ve tried over and over to get him to pick his most favorite - he never does it because he’s a stubborn little shit and refuses to let you think that he values one part of you over any other . finally , you wore him down to coming up with a top 3 : your hands , your hair , and your chest .

 your hands as they fit perfectly in his , they brush his hair out of his eyes with a gentleness that melts him every time (and the way you dig your nails into his back or his arms iykyk) . 

draco loves your hair mostly because its the exact opposite of his own ; long , thick , and chocolate brown . he’s constantly playing with your hair , whether that's running his hands through it or gently tugging on it to get your attention . he would kill you if you ever told anyone , but draco taught himself how to braid your hair so he would have something repetitive to do to calm his anxiety .

 draco loves your chest : he's such a boob guy . he is such a boob guy . even in a non-sexual context , draco loves having his hands up your shirt just feeling how soft your breasts are , the way that he can feel your heartbeat if you’re still enough . when things are getting *frisky* draco loves your tits - in his hands , using his mouth on them , titty-fucking you , literally everything . 

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

draco has a huge breeding kink , but is simultaneously terrified of getting you pregnant. he knows that he wants to be a dad eventually , but draco malfoy is the king of daddy issues™ and can’t fathom having a child right now .

that doesn’t stop him from filling you up with his cum every time you guys fuck - draco loves watching your face as you take his entire load , begging him not to pull out . 

once he does , though , draco’s head is immediately between your legs watching his manhood drip out of you , fingering it out of you while you whimper at the way he seems to hit all the right spots . 

he’s extremely thankful for the tiny , yellow birth control pills that you’re on , and he reminds you every day to take them .

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

draco had never , ever said i love you to someone during or after sex until the two of you had your first time . now , its a normal occurrence for draco to tell you how much he loves you as he thrusts into your pretty , fucked out body . he lets his forehead fall to yours , moaning the words in between heavy breaths as he finishes inside you .

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

draco had a couple of hookups , and a complicated friends with benefits situation before the two of you got together , so he was somewhat experienced by the time you guys finally got down to it . he made sure you felt so good the entire time , using every trick in his book to make you cum around him over and over until he reached completion as well . 

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

draco is a sucker for regular old missionary . he likes being able to watch your face as you take every inch of him , watching your facial expressions change and morph under the influence of his pleasure . if he’s eager to feel you - all of you - draco will hook one of your legs over his shoulders , giving him better access to your sex . this is the one instance where draco wont keep eye contact with you : he can't resist watching himself slide in and out of you , coated in your cum .

however

he's an absolute sucker for you riding him , too . he loves to let you take control and chase your pleasure - plus the visual of you bouncing up and down on his cock , eyes rolling back into your head as you hit all the right spots is enough to send him over the edge . if you get tired while on top , draco will gladly hold your hips in place , fucking up into you until you practically collapse into him , entirely taken over by the force of your orgasm. 

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

intimacy is something that didn’t come easy for you and draco; he’d never been with someone that he actually loved before you . there was a deep intensity to the emotions shared between you two during sex , and draco viewed that time between the both of you as something almost sacred . foreplay , or just general teasing can be silly with you two , but making love is more serious . 

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

draco keeps himself trimmed , but not entirely clean shaven , and the hair down there is darker than his signature white-blond locs .

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

(refer back to g but i could talk about this for days) draco is incredibly romantic when it comes to sex . your first time was like something out of a movie - draco had lit candles everywhere , filling the room with soft , flickering light , as well as changing the sheets on your bed to a soft , white cotton . he’d taken his time making you comfortable ; you and draco had talked through all your fears for hours before he laid a hand on you . once you were ready , draco’s touches had been soft and slow and tender all over your body - he’d made you feel like the angel you were . quickly , you learned that draco wasn’t like that just because it had been your first time ; draco made an effort to make sex just as special every time. 

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

draco was raised thinking that masturbation was a shameful act , something dirty and below him (you literally can not tell me that this isn't true i'll fight it until the day i die . as much as i love narcissa the malfoy family fkn sucks and they damaged draco so bad . anyways) so it’s very rare that he’ll get himself off. when he does , its somewhere where he can quickly get rid of the evidence , such as the shower . 

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

while draco makes sex between you two meaningful and special , that doesn’t mean that he’s afraid to be rough (after yall have had a long talk about it before where you gave him enthusiastic consent ofc . ) 

draco loves to pull your hair or wrap a hand around your throat while he’s hitting it from the back , so much so that he’ll bring your back up to his chest . 

he really enjoys a bit of light choking here and there - just enough to watch your pretty face flush with blood , making your moans the slightest bit weaker . 

draco loves to tie your hands up above your head while he’s eating you out as well ; it makes you take all the pleasure he’s willing to give , and he lives for the way your body writhes and bucks under his skillful tongue. 

you literally can not tell me that draco doesn’t have a praise kink - both giving and receiving . draco loves to tell you how good of a job your doing whether you're sucking him off or taking all of him inside you , and he’s constantly reassuring you that you’re doing such a good job.

however

he fucking loves when you praise him as well (my theory as to why is so fkn sad so we wont go over that here) but that boy lives for you telling him how good he’s making you feel , and when you encourage him nodding and whining for him to go faster . its the one thing that undoes him almost immediately , and he flushes furiously every time you tell him just how fantastic he’s doing .  

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

you and draco rarely get it on outside of your bedrooms at hogwarts , or your childhood rooms when you’re home for the summer - but there’s an exception to every rule. draco has absolutely ruined you in the quidditch changing rooms after a rather brutal loss , and he’s the king of shower sex , too.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

praise !! draco loves you telling him how good his dick feels , or his tongue , or his hands . he also appreciates when you’re rather direct with him - telling draco exactly where you want him , what you want him to do - it drives him absolutely insane . hearing such dirty words come from your sweet , innocent mouth kills him , and it makes draco that much more excited.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there's nothing draco wouldn’t try at least once , but he’s rather uncomfortable with voyeurism. he hates the idea of anyone else seeing your body , watching how you wriggle and whine underneath him as he makes you cum . while the two of you have done it in some questionable locations , draco had made sure that no one could see . 

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

while draco loves your mouth wrapped around him , that boy could spend all day between your legs . he's nothing short of obsessed with eating you out , and its one of his favorite things to do for you . he cant help the way it makes him feel - hearing you whimper and moan while you pull on his hair , your back arching off the bed when his tongue flicks in just the right way . he gets a sort of high from it , and absolutely prides himself on making you cum with just his tongue . 

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it really depends on the day . draco loves fucking you slow , watching his manhood slide in and out of your pretty body coated in your arousal , but he cant resist fucking you so hard he leaves bruises , either . if its just a regular day , the two of you fall somewhere in between , a perfect mix of rough and sweet . 

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

draco loves a good quickie every once in a while ! sometimes he needs a release , and your body is his favorite vessel . usually quickies are where the two of you get a little more risky - he’ll grab your arm , pulling you into an empty classroom or the shower and take you then and there . 

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes and no . draco would try anything and everything , especially if you asked him to , but there are some things that are a one-and-done for him . the two of you are good at talking about that stuff - if something made one of you uncomfortable , the other would understand 100% . its all about the balance of boundaries and still being adventurous. 

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

draco would fuck you all day if you would let him . he can make you cum many , many times before he’ll allow himself to even get close , and even then his stamina is through the roof . he can go at least 3 rounds if not more , and switch positions as many times as you’d like . 

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

while draco doesn’t mind you using toys on yourself , they do make him slightly jealous . you gently tease him about this sometimes , how he works himself into a sulk over an inanimate object - however, that usually leads to your hands tied to his headboard , draco holding a vibrator on your clit until you can’t take anymore orgasms. 

you two have expirimented with using your vibrator during sex , but draco much prefers playing with your clit over using an outside source , and seretly , you do too . he’s amazing with his hands , and rubs tight , fast circles onto your sensitive nub while his hips snap against yours only intensifying the sensation .

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

draco loves to tease you - he likes to watch the way you come undone under the slightest touches of his hands . very rarely does he tease you for long - he can’t resist giving you what you want , what you’re begging him for in that high , breathy voice .

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s a loud motherfucker all the time , and the bedroom is no exception . draco’s moans are music to your ears , and they turn you on more than anything . his already rough voice only gets raspier , and deeper , too . he loves to talk dirty to you , but as he approaches his orgasm , he can barely form full sentences . his cocky pillow talk turns to almost desperate moans and whimpers as his thrusts get sloppier and quicker , his hips snapping against yours hard . his groans as he cums are heavenly , especially since he’s usually buried his head in your neck or dropped his forehead to yours by then . 

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

we all know that draco have a superiority / god complex (as he should 😌) , and this manifests in the bedroom - you would’ve never known , though , if it weren’t for a complete accident . you and draco had been studying together , and he’d asked one of the yes or no questions written on a flashcard .  not thinking about your actions , you’d answered the question with “no, sir” - then physically felt draco’s entire body stiffen underneath you . you’d picked up on it immediately , blood flooding your face as you’d asked him if he liked it .

yes , he did .

he loves when you call him sir as he’s fucking the life out of you - like , he has to stop himself from cumming on the spot . 

when you want to fuck with him for whatever reason , you’ll jokingly call him ‘sir’ in front of your friends

you’ll pay for it later , though

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

mans is built in every sense of the word . draco is quite well endowed , which was something that took you a bit to get used to . he was never one to measure - it just seemed wrong to him , like he was doing something dirty - but by your estimations , draco is about 7 inches . he’s thicker than most , too , which only adds to your pleasure . 

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

draco lives in a constant state of horny™ . he can’t help it - something about you brings out his most primal instincts . he’s so in love with you and your body that he can rarely keep his hands off of it , but he knows how to control himself . he tries to match your sex drive ; when yours is high , his is too , but he doesn’t mind waiting on you to give him the green light if you’re libido has been lower . 

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

its safe to say that the both of you are extremley tired after sex - its quite the workout . draco is so soft once he’s finished , and he would live in that post-sex haze forever if he could ; he’s all sweet kisses and skin-to-skin contact , but he’ll usually wait until you fall asleep on him before he can drift off . something about making sure that you’re comfortable enough to sleep on him fills draco with a sense of immense pride . once you’ve fallen asleep, depending on how vigorous everything was , draco will usually fade pretty soon after ; on the off chance that he still has some energy , draco stays up and watches you . he looks at you as if you were a piece of art , usually following the soft lines and curves of your face with a gentle finger ; admiring you like the angel you are .

[admiringlove]

“did you bring me here to die?”

— welcome to sam’s brewery, where we commemorate reaching 500 customers! this event lasts for one week, and will only take up to twenty orders(as above that can become quite overwhelming).

+order: HI SAM!! This is such a cool concept. but let me just tell u that when I saw ur event post, all dialogue I‘be ever heard/read left my brain. But after some thought, I came up with “did u bring me here to die?!” + atsumu. I feel like he’d do some stupid shit like that lmao!! I can’t wait to see what u come up with for this event!! 💗 [submitted by @bubblingclementine​]

+word count: 0.6k

+author’s notes: erin, i'm sorry but this is just crack lmaooo. to anyone who wants to send a prompt, here is the link to the event masterlist so you can know which shows you can request from!

Miya Atsumu did not like camping as a child.

He hated the idea of being away from the comfort of his own home—especially in the middle of nowhere, with tents or a cabin as his only alleviation and a stupid fire to roast marshmallows on.

Why would any sane person willingly give up their own state of ease to go stay in the wild for a few days? Unless they were delusional, that is.

So when you, his long-time best friend and also partner, suggested a camping trip, he freaked out. He, with wide eyes and a scared expression, said, "What if a bear eats me? Even worse, what if my marshmallow is contaminated? I'd rather live in my house and watch Disney movies with you than go in a jungle!"

You had laughed in his face for that, but he kept his word. And when you came up with the next best thing(which was a big cabin in the middle of the woods), he really couldn't say no to those pleading eyes of yours. Little did he know, that you were only faking being sad.

And what Atsumu hated more than camping, was camping during winter. Being in a cabin while it snowed like a bitch outside was the worst idea possible in his mind. He hated this trip already, now his poor car is getting swarmed with evil white particles. You arrived in his field of vision not long after, so his mind calmed down a bit.

"Here's your hot chocolate," you smiled, sitting on the couch with him as the fire in front of you burned. The lights were still on, but you had insisted that the fireplace be lit.

(Atsumu still doesn't understand how the two of you had become friends. Even though he was a professional athlete, you still managed to surprise him with your bizarre yet somehow exciting ideas.)

He hated this trip, but he hated it a little less when he was with you.

"Ya know, I still don't like that it's snowing and we're in the middle o' nowhere," he grumbles, before sipping from his mug. You chuckle smally, leaning on the nape of his neck as you mumble, "It's okay. I'm happy you agreed to come along."

"Look, [Y/N], if the lights run out or somethin', I'm callin' the cops," he says. You laugh this time, a voice melodious to his ears. Your cheeks are tinted carmine, as you hug him just a smidge tighter.

And just as you do that, the lights turn off.

"Holy fuck!" he yells, the half-empty mug almost falling out of his hands. He places the drink on the coffee table and clutches the blanket a little closer to him. You laugh again, clutching your stomach this time as you tease, "You're such a baby."

"What the hell?" he frantically rants, "I literally just said somethin' about the lights turnin' off and it actually happened! This place is already creepy, and now the lights are gone!"

"We still have the fireplace, 'Tsumu. Don't worry- oh."

"Did you bring me here to die?! That thing's out too! This place is haunted, I'm tellin' ya. I've always hated camping. The thought itself is so dumb. Why would anyone want to stay in a fuckin' forest for a day? We were idiots to come here. C'mon, let's go back home," he picks up his phone and turns on the flashlight, only to get scared again.

You were laughing. Again. And to Atsumu, your laugh was like the ripples in a pond after throwing in a rock. It slowly radiated towards other parts of the water before fading, and he let this sound live in his mind and heart forever, because you, were his solace. He shakes himself out of his thoughts, because this is not the time to be hopelessly in love with you. This is the time to be frantic and call the cops because your cabin might seriously be haunted.

"This is not funny!"

"It..pfft-" you break out into another fit before finally regaining your composure as you say, "I-it is."

"Why?"

"Because there's a blizzard outside, and the trains have been cancelled so we have to wait at least a day till we can go back home."

“This is why people don’t like camping-”

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[komoreibi]

I've just discovered that one of your favorite character is Atsumu so I might as well follow you 'cause I love him. I'm trying to write a story about him, childhood friends to lovers, but I'm stuck in the part where he is a child. I just think of him like a baby who wants to impress other people but every time his friend gets hurt or his brother cry, he cries too. How do you think he and his brother were like as children? I would like to write more about this but there's limited space here.

ooo interesting! (also pls tell me when u post that bc i love the childhood friends trope 🥺🥺) i’ll write these sorta based on what you wrote as well~

i think if i had to describe child!atsumu in three words it would be:

show off

emotional

empathetic

atsumu in middle school didn’t care that other people didn’t like him. but i feel like he had to have something happen to him as a kid for him to not care. someone with his personality who likes to look cool in front of others… ya know?

i hc that he did try to get along with others but he was loud and competitive and eventually it got on people’s nerves and as they slowly left him, he would be the type to say “go leave then! see if i care! not like ya dummies could win the game without me!” and would storm out but go cry in an empty room where no one would see him…

but like i said too i do think he’s empathetic and caring. if someone was nice to him, he would show utter loyalty and care for them (like how when kita gave him the care package when he was sick? 🥺) he would always put his hand up first to help bring a friend to the infirmary if they were sick, and always offered to piggyback a friend if they tripped on the way home and hurt their knee! he knows what it’s like to feel down and sick and he wants to help his friends so they don’t feel down anymore!

and osamu!! i always liked to hc him as the older brother hehe but if i had to describe him in three words…

sympathetic

competitive

ambivert

osamu doesn’t really show his emotions as loudly as atsumu did. that’s why more people like to hang out with him rather than his brother (because he wouldn’t shove it in their face constantly that he was taller by 1cm or that he ran faster).

but that’s not to say he’s not got the same competitive spirit that atsumu has. the two light a fire under each other and pull each other along. (gosh i love that about them) it’s really only around the people that he really trusts that he shows his true emotions.

also, about atsumu feeling sad… osamu definitely noticed it. he sat next to him during those times and offered his chocolate bar that he saved up his pocket money for. he already liked food but seeing atsumu cheer up with the food he gave him made him happier and made him like food even more.

not sure if this is what you’re looking for but i hope you liked it!! and i hope it helped~ good luck with ur writing!

[bloom-bloom-pow]

everything i've written: 2 week celebration!

hi hi !! it's already been two weeks and i've made over 300 posts 🙈🙈 i compiled the summaries of my timestamps for you:

zoning out as your bf rants because you don't know how to tell him u wanna break up, listening to a playlist you made when you were dating, watching the stars under the sky, watching ur crush confess to another girl, sleeping on someones shoulder, betting on finding love, kissing in a grocery aisle, audio messages at 4am, “happiest people are the loneliest”, seeing you as their wallpaper, kissing sadness away, giving your sweater to someone, breaking up on your birthday, stopping your crush from going on a date, tying your shoelaces for you, rejecting bff in front of the entire school, eating curly fries together, dancing in the rain together, kissing bruises away, tucking you into bed sheets, being sunkissed in the flowers, filling up grocery cart with snacks, kissing in a tree, seeing a playlist named after you, facetiming your bf, different takes on your first kiss, drawing with chalk, possessive kisses in public, applying chapstick and asking for a kiss, getting lost at a concert so you hold hands, drawing a heart on your leg cast, getting stuck on a ferris wheel, accidentally feeding ducks bread, third wheeling, talking about waffles at 2am, building a snowman, playing board games until the sun rises, burning popcorn, dancing to a song but falling, flipping pancakes at 6am, “did i forget anything?” “yeah a kiss”, wishing a wish because of a ladybug, brushing your hair, laying on your shoulder in a taxi, poking dimples and blowing kisses, barista x idol meet again, strangers sleeping next to each other on the bus, tracing hearts in the sand, messing up hot chocolate, a confession while viewing the city, “can i have a pic of you to send to my mom?”, giving each other temporary tats, sitting on haunted swings, blanket fort, first kiss, my heart says i love you but i shouldn’t, losing your best friend over an argument, giving you clothes to wear but they’re running out, eating your freshly baked cookies, watching a horror movie together, coworker walks you to your desk, convincing you that teleporting is better than reading minds, cute pet shop worker convinces you to buy 50 goldfish, young love at the market, bringing a teddy bear for your birthday, falling asleep in your arms, making the first move when playing with their hair, bad boy au leads you to back of an alley.. to take care of cats, first impressions turn into confession, “i can’t win you over”, breaking your friendship necklace and walking away, “it hurts pretending i dont have feelings for u”, secretly dating their brother, sleeping next to each other, hyping them up, eating your pizza crusts, giving you their jacket, “don’t give me space. that’s the last thing i want with you”, crush/bff caught with another girl, prom proposal goes wrong, making a wish over shooting star, fireplace kisses, first snow confessions, love calculator, existential questions at midnight, missing you while they sleep, word of the day, holding hands and watching sunset, sharing umbrellas, a song written easily, indirect kisses, home sweet home, “promise me you’ll be with me forever, okay?” AND THATS IT !!

please send me an ask about any of them and i'll give you the timestamp and some background info or a story about it! <3 thank you for almost 9000 notes and almost 300 followers, i appreciate you all <3