#HOW DO YOU HAVE A GOOD BACKSTORY BUT A TERRIBLY WRITTEN CHARACTER

[oshitgirlie]

marinette: i got transformed into a knight.

adrien: so did i!!1!11!!1! what a KNIGHTmare *sticks hands out dramatically and runs away*

[justthoughts1310]

If you have not watched Netflix's live action ATLA yet, let me stop you right now. It is not good and it's score on rotten tomatoes is honestly too high.

However, it's far better than the 2010 Live Action movie.

I'm on episode 6 now, and as I watch, I've been trying to find the words that best describe the series.

I've struggled, but the first thing I've noticed is how all of the actors seem to walk their parts and miss the meaning and motivations of their characters all together. The only one who comes close to embodying their character is Iroh, and the only one who looks like they came from straight out of the avatar universe is the Bounty Hunter.

However, now that I'm in episode 6, I've found the word.

The series is Rushed. It's rushed. It feels that they are trying to pack as much avatar lore into the storyline as possible and they don't care what storylines or arcs they have to mangle in order to do it. It's like a really badly written fanficition or a bad spark notes recap of the OG show. I feel comfortable saying that because I've read the Kiyoshi novels (which are like fanfics) and they are EXCELLENT.

You notice this when the show starts. Aang can fly unassisted. Let me repeat. He can fly unassisted. Only two Airbenders in all of Avatar history can fly unassisted, and one hasn't even been born yet during the time Aang was trying to stop the 100 year war. This boy can fly, but we're 6 episodes in and he has not water bent once. If he hadn't turned into Kiyoshi, I wouldn't believe that he's actually the avatar.

As to not provide any spoilers, they've taken multiple storylines and mashed them together. For example, the spirt of wisdom that we meet in the library in the arc where Appa goes missing. Yeah, we meet the guy in the forest with the Panda Bear Forest spirit and then we meet Kah shortly after. As if that's not all terrible, then we are introduced to the Mother of Faces.

The mother of freaking faces! If you don't know who she is, she is not in the show. She is introduced in the graphic novel trilogy "The Search" when Zuko and Azula try to find their long lost mother.

It is my feeling that if you want to revisit a beloved show that you should work to make it better. Deepen it. Add color to it and help the audience better understand the characters insights. Take your time with it.

Netflix tries to do a little of this by providing some additional backstories, but it does this by running rough shot through literally everything else.

It even changes the characters relational dynamics with one another. For example you know how even though Sokka is the oldest, Katara very much has adopted the place of their mother? Yeah... throw that notion right out the window. Now, instead of Katara being the practical one who keeps everything on track, she's painted as the rash kid who needs to grow up and Sokka is the father figure.

Now, Zuko is kind of the beloved child even though he's been banished and Azula is seen as a nuisance to her father. Like what??????

It's actually ironic that the show removes Sokka's misogynistic nature because the show is kind of misogynistic in and of itself.

It's 6 episodes in and has already stripped three female characters of their core tenants.

1. Azula is a prodigy. She's the pride of the fire nation. Not anymore.

2. Katara is a motherly figure who is the mother of the group. She cares for everybody and keeps them on track. Not anymore.

3. Suki is a fierce and independent warrior who is not impressed by Sokka's misogyny. Now, she's a creepy woman who follows him around the entire time he's on the island until he asks to be trained by her.

When we heard that the OG creators and Netflix went different ways because of creative differences, we should have known right then and there that the live action was going to be trash.

Also, I'm going to put it out there. Considering the fact that this should be a block buster series, Netflix did not spend anywhere enough money on it, because the graphics are so cheesy and Appa looks terrible.

[kiy-anna]

Am I Feeling Love?

Part 1 (You Are Here) Part 2 Part 3a Part 3b

Characters: Azul Ashengrotto x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: From the moment Azul Ashengrotto heard of soulmates as a small child, he had a vision of a beautiful life with someone who was meant for him - regardless of what he was or would become…

Word count: 5.3k+

Warnings: Some Yandere elements

Notes: I wanted to thank @yanderloversworld on tumblr for the yandere!Azul w/ Soulmate S/O headcanons/backstory that I saw for inspiring this piece. I’ve never written anything like this before, but I wanted to give my hand at it - especially since it involves my favorite cecaelia character from twisted Wonderland. You can check it out here: https://www.tumblr.com/yandereloversworld/718766985773760512/yanazul-with-a-soulmate-so?source=share

The two songs used to inspire this story:

Am I Feeling Love? (The Thief and the Cobbler/Arabian Knight Soundtrack): https://youtu.be/NXYnClTZ4QY

One Day She'll Love Me (The Emperor's New Groove Soundtrack): https://youtu.be/8Sv3ECj7PdY

***I have an update! Part 2 now Available to read on my side blog @ashensgrotto***

***

I close my eyes and see his eyes

So soft and warm and clear

I dream awake of holding her

I dream that she’s right here

I sense in all his silences

More than his words could say

‘Don’t fight your feelings’ says my heart

A heart I will obey

***

“Azul… we need to talk.”

The sound of his mother’s broken voice pulled Azul’s attention to the larger cecaelia as all eight of his tiny tentacles stilled, each and every one of his appendages dropping an assortment of books, quills, and shells to the grotto’s floor as the silver-lavender haired boy looked upon his mother. The typically confident cecaelian now appeared scared and upset; her pale baby blue eyes were wide with worry and her ruby lips were set in a straight line - her heavy-set body swayed with the current that entered their home while her black-colored tentacles fidgeted nervously, the lavender underbelly of each appendage curling into itself repeatedly before releasing its grip on emptiness.

Azul stood, his own appendages curling inward, “Can this wait, momma? I’m very busy at the moment-”

“I’m afraid it can’t, baby,” his mother entered his room before perching herself on his bed, tapping the seafoam cushion, “come here.”

Azul sat beside his mother, looking down at his hands before looking up at his mother, who watched him with interest.

“Zully… the neighbors have told me they’ve seen you sneaking out at night,” his mother spoke quietly, “and it has been apparently going on for a while - without my knowledge. You and I both know that night is a terrible time to be going out, especially alone - you’re smart enough to know that you could’ve been seriously injured or killed by the creatures that lurk just beyond the reef of our city. Do you know how heartbroken I would be if I lost you?”

“I know, momma… but, I promise I have a good reason!”

“What good reason would you have for sneaking out in the middle of the night?”

“My soulmate.”

His mother looked taken back, her hand reaching to clutch the Nautilus shell necklace that rested on her collarbones as her already wide eyes widened further, “...S-Soulmate?”

“Yes!” Azul’s powder-blue eyes sparkled like gems in a treasure chest as a huge grin spread across his features, “I overheard some of the merkids talking about them at school a few weeks ago - o-of course I had initially thought they were talking about me, since I seem to come up in conversation here and there… but still! Oh, momma! To know that there’s someone out there that is literally MEANT to be WITH ME! Me! Azul Ashengrotto!”

“Zully, now wait a minute-”

“At first the concept did fascinate me,” Azul continued, slowly standing and moving to the opposite end of his room while ignoring his mother’s words, “and what intrigued me more than anything was that my soulmate would love and cherish every last thing about me - not the way the other merkids see me as; a pathetic, fat… ugly crying octopus fry that can’t even excel in studies or athletics. The silly little octo-twerp that’s an ink spiller.”

“Zully, you know that’s not-”

“But you know what momma? Thinking about my soulmate has made the days so much easier, even when I’m getting bullied - I think about them seeing what those other merkids are doing and they put a stop to it, saying things like, ‘Leave Azul alone! He’s not a pathetic little octo-twerp!’” Azul turned to his mother again, his tentacles writhing with excitement, “So, to be ready to meet them, I’ve been working to increase my knowledge - I want to be so powerful like the great Sea Witch herself that my soulmate will know who I am by sight alone! I’ve studied every book I could get my hands on and have memorized every single potion recipe there is available - even learning how to improve its effects and prolong them even! I’ve even studied every law text there is in the Atlantica public library - I have every law memorized word for word.”

His mother sighed, running a hand through her silvery locks, the motions creating little bubbles that appeared as she let out a sigh, “Azul, there’s something you should know-”

“As for the sneaking out,” Azul continued, throwing his hands behind his back as his fingers twisted together while he rocked back and forth on the edges of his eight appendages, “I was searching for my soulmate. I don’t know if they are here in the Coral Sea or not-”

“Azul, please listen to me-”

“But I wanted to see if I could find them. The first few nights after learning about their existence, I was having trouble sleeping - so I started doing a short swim to clear my head. I promise I wasn’t going too far away from the house! However, on those walks, it got me thinking that maybe instead of sleeping, I should be searching for them. There was no better use of my time than to strive for a better life with someone who must sense my loneliness like I sensed theirs…”

“...If they weren’t so rare, baby.”

Azul snapped to attention, his eyes wide, “W-What?”

His mother rested one hand on her knees while the other rubbed at her forehead, “Zully, I know and understand your longing to belong and to have a friend - trust me, I’ve been there. However, you can’t fixate on a single being that you hope to encounter at some point in your life. Finding that so-called ‘other half’ is like - well - like the story of the mermaid princess and her longing to be with a human. It’s a rare occurrence that only happens once in a millennium if not longer. Many times, people - humans, fae, and merfolk alike - often settle for someone they are content and happy with, someone that isn’t their other half.”

Azul stared in shock, inky tears threatening to spill down his chubby cheeks, as his hands balled into fists, “No! No! That isn’t true! What about you and daddy when he was alive?! Both of you were soulmates!”

“No we weren’t… At least, I don’t think we were,” Azul’s mother came forward, resting a hand gingerly on her son’s shoulder, “Anyone can be happy with or without their soulmate, Azul. There’s no reason you should go to such lengths to be with someone who may not even exist. You may not even meet them in this lifetime, either…”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!” Azul pushed her away, anger bubbling up as his tentacles writhed in anger, his vision becoming blurry as ink spilled down his face as he snapped at his mother and guardian, “HOW DARE YOU!? You DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT the CONNECTION BETWEEN SOULMATES! THEY FEEL AS I FEEL! THAT CONNECTION IS WHAT MAKES US UNIQUE!! An UNBREAKABLE BOND that CAN NEVER BE SEVERED!! And how DARE you CHEAT on your OWN SOULMATE!”

“Azul! Now wait a minute!” his mother raised her voice, “I’ve been around the bend a few more times than you have and know about these sorts of things. I WILL NOT ALLOW this behavior to continue in my house!”

“Fine! Then I’ll leave!”

“Azul! Where are you going?! Azul!!”

But the little cecaelia was gone, swimming as fast as he could away from his mother’s typically loving embrace. 

‘How could she?!’ he mind was running as he sped up to get further and further away from his home, ‘How could she say that? Why momma… why?!’

He was sniffing hard when he arrived at his hidden octopot, big ugly fat tears of black rolling down his chubby cheeks while mucus dribbled down his nose, running into his open mouth as he gasped out big grotesque sobs. He pulled himself along enough to climb into the pot, his appendages pulling him into the confined space as comfort slowly surrounded his shaking form. One tentacle came forward, wiping at the tears in his eyes as Azul allowed his hearts to calm down. 

He wrapped his arms around himself as he looked out into the darkness of the Coral Sea; the pale moonlight reflected off the caverns that surround Azul’s hiding spot, the water growing colder and colder with each passing hour as several sea creatures passed over - not that Azul noticed though. Normally, he would have been interested in what creatures came out at night - but the words his mother spoke forced a jolt of pain on all three of his hearts.

“You can’t fixate on a single being that you hope to encounter at some point in your life,” her words echoed in his mind over and over, “Finding that so-called ‘other half’ is like - well - like the story of the mermaid princess and her longing to be with a human. It’s a rare occurrence that only happens once in a millennium if not longer. Anyone can be happy with or without their soulmate, Azul. There’s no reason you should go to such lengths to be with someone who may not even exist…”

‘What if she’s right?’ he thought, his tentacles tightening around his body, ‘What if I never find them? What if they think the same way she does? What if… what if they’ve already been taken from me?!’

His eyes narrowed as a darkness slowly filled them, glaring out into the cruel twisted world from the darkness of his octopot. No, even if his soulmate was already claimed he would’ve known - he would know if they were, he’d felt it; the tangling of another soul within his if his other half were to be mated to another without his consent. However, that hadn’t happened yet.

…for now.

Azul curled deeper into himself, his thoughts growing darker and darker as he made plans to continue his search for his other half; his beloved soulmate. He wouldn’t give up the search, even if he died trying. He wanted to see them; see what they looked like and to hear their sweet voice, to feel a sense of belonging… to protect what was rightfully his.

***

I'd never imagined before that the world could be turned on its head

I'd never have thought to be here in this place

I'd never have dreamt that in love I'd be lost and so easily led

I guess I was caught by that hint of a smile on her face

***

“Azul-chan, are we almost finished here?” a figure on the cecaelian’s left muttered, “I’m bored.”

“Floyd,” the figure on Azul’s right spoke up, murmuring and pressing a finger to his lips, “There are still some students that need to be housed. Just be a little bit more patient.”

“Speaking of which,” Azul eyed the two carefully, “Any news from our sources, Jade?”

“It’s rather difficult to track down something when we ourselves don’t know what we’re looking for,” the second figure - Jade - answered softly, “A description usually helps in these circumstances, Azul.”

“Perhaps,” the cecaelian shrugged indifferently, “however, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what I’m looking for, myself.”

The two second-in-commands looked at each other, confusion crossing their features.

Ten years had passed slowly since that terrible day when Azul’s mother planted the first seeds of doubt into her son’s head, her chiding and the doubts never leaving him completely. However, that did not stop him from continuing his search for his other half - exhausting himself beyond belief. By the time Azul was twelve - nearly five years following his discovery of the existence of soulmates - he had searched every crevice of the Coral Sea with no luck; it was also around this time that he met the Leech twins - Floyd and Jade. 

Jade was the oldest of the two by a few minutes and was very resourceful as well as very soft-spoke and courteous; his younger brother, Floyd, on the other hand was unpredictable due to his mood swings - he could be interested in one thing one minute and grow bored of it the next. The two moray mers had come across Azul during his younger days when they were in the same class together, watching with awe as his eight appendages hovered about his hidden grotto, writing inscriptions on shells and flipping through pages of grimoires. Originally, they weren’t sure what to make of him, but now that they knew about his capabilities from stories they heard about someone granting wishes for a price - the two were now invested in keeping Azul close to their sides.

And vice versa.

Eventually, the question of why he was doing it came up; Azul took the time to explain the story about how he had first learned about soulmates and how he had been searching the past five years for his, eventually coming to the conclusion that his other half was nowhere in the Coral Sea.

“I have searched every nook and cranny of these waters and have yet to find them,” Azul explained, pouring ingredients into a cauldron as he spoke, “Thus, I’m ‘using my resources’ to spread out the search for my other half.”

“So, some of your deals include gathering any information about a particular person whom you’ve never met nor spoken to?” Jade asked, very intrigued by Azul’s train of thought.

“Hah… sound boring,” Floyd chimed in, reclining atop of one of the rocks in the grotto.

“It’s more interesting than it sounds,” Azul answered, popping a cork off a bottle and dumping the contents into the cauldron as the liquid turned from pale pink to eerie green, “besides, the sooner I find them, the better off they’ll be. However, the problem here lies that if they’re not in the Coral Sea - then where are they?”

Neither of the twins could supply an answer.

It was also around this time that Azul’s appearance had also changed. Baby fat melted and hardened into muscle while his gut and belly dissolved into toned skin, chubby cheeks evolved into high cheekbones; his face sharpening into arched brows, thin lips, and a pointed nose - though his eyes, now filled with knowledge and pride, remained the same. Gone was - in Azul’s opinion - the fat crying octo-twerp of his youth as a handsome, defined sea witch stood in his place; a perfect figure that his soulmate would be proud of once they set sights on him.

The dramatic weight-loss and muscle built scared, not only Jade and Floyd, but also his own mother - whom he did speak to on seldom occasions due to her connections as the owner of the Atlantica Grotto Bistro, which was slowly becoming a local hot spot and where Azul worked full time as a waiter and assistant manager. It was also where he would lure unsuspecting victims - mainly those from his youth or clients with means - into signing his newly-perfected golden contracts, sealing their powers away for his own in exchange for whatever it was that they wished for. Of course, Azul’s mother never suspected a thing about her son’s side business - now a bit preoccupied with the courtship of an older squid mer who had slowly made a presence in her life as well as teaching Azul the fundamentals of building his own business.

When Azul, Jade, and Floyd reached the age of sixteen, they were invited to attend Night Raven College - a boys’ prestigious school for young mages. Azul’s mother had been proud of Azul’s accomplishment and Azul, himself, was secretly thankful that he would be given the chance to explore a different world versus hearing things through the grape vines from his sources. It was during his first year of attending that he made a name for himself, following practically in his mother’s and the Sea Witch’s footsteps; he was now the headwarden and the owner of the Mostro Lounge that his dorm - Octavinelle - operated on the school property. He also was the student others went to when they needed help or had a wish that only he could grant. Jade and Floyd both helped as well, taking his place into luring potential clients into his clutches.

Now, the three of them were entering their second year at NRC - and Azul was barely hanging on by a thread. For the past year on land - thanks to the potion he created that would allow himself, Jade, and Floyd to attend the school as humans - Azul had used his network of informants to extend his search for his other half.

He never forgot the promise he made to continue his search for his soulmate - the contracts were just a starting point to his grand scheme for searching for the person who would love and cherish him as no other could. By building a name for himself, Azul essentially had been given enough money to spend as much as he pleased for information about any leads and his extensive network of informants were at his beck-and-call should he need them to snoop out any potential tips he heard. He had cleared out both Harveston during winter break the previous year and the Queendom of Roses as well as the Shaftlands the previous summer before he was summoned to return to Night Raven. Sunset Savanna would be next on his list during the winter break this year and he would attempt Briar Valley over the summer.

But even that wasn't soon enough it seemed.

Azul’s spirit was practically crying out with each failed search, lead, and tip - nearly to the point that his soul was exhausted and he found himself hearing his mother’s chiding words in his inner ear again. But he was stubborn - incredibly so; and he made plans before leaving his home city again to extend any knowledge to him from outside the school’s barriers.

Azul sighed as the last first year was placed into their dorm, forcing a smile as he addressed his new students, crossing his arms over his chest, "New students! I congratulate you on your achievement. As the dorm head of Octavinelle, I am honored to have the opportunity to support you in what I hope will be a fulfilling campus experience.”

"Hey, does anyone know where the headmage went?" Azul arched his brow as the dorm head of Pomefiore, Vil Schoenheit, spoke, “He disappeared midway through the ceremony…”

"Some headmage he is," Idia Shroud, the head of Ignihyde, grumbled from his tablet that hovered in the chamber.

"Maybe he had a tummy ache?" the ever naive dorm head of Scarabia - Kalim Al-Asim - asked with a shrug.

The doors burst open as the head mage himself appeared, shouting, "I most certainly did not!"

"Ah, speak of the devil," Riddle Rosehearts, the dorm head of Heartslabyul, grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"If you must know," the headmage continued, pulling a cloaked figure along with him, their slender wrist tight in his grasp, "I was searching for the new student who failed to show for orientation. Come along, you are the only one who hasn't been assigned to a dorm - step up to the dark mirror and be quick about it. I'll hold onto your weasel."

Azul watched as the headmage pulled the figure along, causing them to stumble slightly, before he released them. The cloaked figure lifted their head, taking a tentative step towards the mirror as the headmage held tightly onto another being - a little gray cat creature with burning fire in his ears with eyes wider than saucer plates. Something about the shy figure had drawn Azul utmost attention as they stood before the dark mirror.

“State your name,” the mirror spoke, its voice deep and dark.

“I’m (Y/N),” you spoke, so quiet that everyone had to strain to hear them.

“(Y/N)... The nature of your soul is…” the dark mirror hesitated, narrowing its pitch-black eyes before announcing, “...unclear to me.”

“What did you just say?” the headmage crossed his arms over his chest as a murmur rippled through the crowd.

“I sense no magical power from this one,” the dark mirror answered, voice grim, “Soundless. Colorless. Shapeless. Utterly vacant… Therefore, no dorm would be appropriate.”

With his final answer, the headmage let out a cry, “Are you suggesting the black carriage went to recieve a person who cannot even use magic?! That is absurd! The student selection process has not erred once in its century of existence!”

As head headmage continued to squawk in surprise, Azul nearly felt his heart stop in his chest when you looked in his direction.

As soon as your eyes locked with his, Azul knew.

His soulmate was here.

You were a pretty (h/c) with tints of (f/c) weaved into locks that framed your soft features hidden under the black and gold hood of the ceremonial robe you wore, the exotic eyes of (e/c) filled with wonder and surprise - with an underlying hint of fear, likely due to the shock of being called ‘abnormal’ by a piece of looking-glass. You looked about a few inches shorter than him - a perfect height for him to rest his chin upon your head - as a pleasant pink painted your cheeks, turning them into red delicious apples that tempted Azul to take a bite, and your jaw dropped slightly, lips parting with surprise. 

Azul knew that you could feel the strong connection between your two souls - the pull he had searched the past decade for finally presenting itself in the shape of you. He found himself unable to look away, staring at you with quiet longing and lovestruck clearly written across his features.

“Azul?” Jade snickered, “What is-”

“I think octy just found what he was lookin’ for, Jade,” Floyd snickered, his eyes shifting between the startled first-year and their lovestruck boss.

“I quite agree,” Jade’s voice came out sickly smooth as his eyes shifted between the three of them, “this has just gotten interesting…”

Azul hardly noticed though the twins’ snickers in his ears, his thoughts were already running wild with ideas of how he wanted to spoil you - his found other half, his precious mate. 

The problem now was that you were a non-magic user and a female to boot - nevermind that you had just been put on display like an exotic animal. The whispers that echoed in the chamber forced you to look away from the lovestruck second-year, your body quivering with fear and unease as he himself was brought back to reality.

‘How DARE they insult her while in my presence?’ Azul felt a growl bubble up in the back of his throat, his pale blues shifting from the crowd to his mate to the headmage and back again as his hands curled into fists under the sleeves of his cloak, ‘And how DARE the dark mirror put (Y/N) in this situation!’

“Headwardens,” the headmage’s voice echoed in the chamber, silencing every whisper as he took control of the situation, “please escort your students back to the dorms as the orientation is now complete.”

“What about (Y/N)?” the voice of Coach Vargas spoke up, “Surely you are not expecting someone like her to remain here?”

‘And you’re first on the list of people who will suffer my wrath for saying something so hostile to my mate,’ Azul thought, thinking of what the best way would be to attack the coach indirectly.

“This is a most unfortunate turn of events, yes,” the headmage agreed, tapping his chin in thought, “Due to you being female and that you are a non-magic user, I’m afraid I cannot allow you to attend Night Raven College. You seem like an amicable young lady, however this is an all-boy’s school and I cannot admit a student - male or female - with no magical ability. But fear not, the dark mirror will see you safely home.”

‘NO! You CAN’T!’ Azul was barely holding himself together at this point - he had just found his soulmate and now the world wanted the two of them to be separated forever?! He would not allow it! 

Before he could act on impulse, the mirror’s deep voice echoed in the chamber, “There is no such place.”

“What?!” Crowley squawked again as murmurs rose from the crowd yet again.

“There is no place in this world where this soul belongs,” the dark mirror answered again, “None.”

“H-How can that be?!” Crowley asked, his hands shaking with an inner rage, “My, but today is a veritable cavalcade of impossible phenomena! This has never happened throughout my long tenure. I must confess I am at something of a loss.”

Azul could sense the sadness radiating from his mate as well. Were you disappointed that you couldn’t return from wherever you had come from? And if so, why would you want to go back if now you knew of his existence?

Perhaps a little persuasion was needed…

Azul smiled darkly, before taking a step forward, clearing his throat, “Headmage Crowley, I understand that all of us are at a loss of what to do with our strange guest - however, may I offer a solution to our little problem?”

“Master Ashengrotto,” Headmage Crowley crossed his arms over his chest, “I’m not certain what you mean. We must send (Y/N) back to where they came from.”

“And how do you propose we do that?” Azul countered, shrugging while keeping his eyes trained on the headmage while he faked a painful look, “It is easy to return us to our homes, but we have no idea where she comes from - or if we can even get her back.”

“T-There must be a way though… right?” you spoke up, your eyes pleading with Azul’s.

“I hate to agree with Azul, but he’s right,” a tan-skinned, dark-haired figure spoke up, “If this herbivore is from another world entirely, the chances of getting them back are slim to none.”

“Leona is quite right on the money with that one,” Vil answered with a nod.

Azul smiled, knowing that the ripples of shock and disbelief were now falling onto the headmage for being incompetent in dealing with this matter. He couldn’t turn (Y/N) away now that Azul had spoken up with two additional dorm heads also taking his side.

“What do you propose then?” Headmage Crowley asked, eyeing the headwarden of Octavinelle uneasily.

“Octavinelle, as I’m sure you remember, has plenty of rooms for rent,” Azul answered, turning to (Y/N) with a reassuring smile, “As the dorm head, I will gladly take (Y/N) into my dorm where she can stay during her time here. If she’s agreeable, she can work within the Mostro Lounge to pay for a place to sleep and to have food in her belly.”

“I’m not sure, Master Ashengrotto…” Crowley spoke, rubbing his chin with a clawed gloved hand, “a single woman in a dorm filled with boys is highly improper…”

“Improper would be the term used for the predicament your so-called black carriage put you in,” Azul snipped, his eyes flashing dangerously at the headmage, “Besides - the rooms we rent are on the opposite side of the aquarium in our dorm, quite a ways away from the rooms the dorm members reside in for that particular purpose. We also have security within our dorm and I’m usually the one to deal with matters of… problematic nature.”

“Perhaps, however-”

“Consider it one less problem on your plate as well. If (Y/N) is brought to my dorm, I will take full responsibility for her - and I might be able to find a way to get her home in the process as well.”

“You what?” your eyes widen with hope, your hand reaching out and clasping the edge of his robe.

“I have an endless network of resources at my disposal, my dear - I can likely find you a quicker way to get home than you can with anyone else here,” Azul answered confidently, thinking, ‘Though you won’t know that since I found you. I’ve searched high and low for you, I’ll be damned if I let you slip from my grasp so easily.’

“Very well then,” Headmage Crowley let out a sigh, “(Y/N), are you agreeable with staying with the Octavinelle dorm and working at the Mostro Lounge until Master Ashengrotto can find a way to return you to your world?”

“Of course! Thank you so much, Mr. Ashengrotto!” you beamed with joy.

“Azul,” the dorm head answered with a nod, “please, call me Azul.”

“Azul, then.”

The human-cecaelian smiled sweetly at his soulmate and offered an arm out, his hearts practically bursting with joy when you slipped your own arm through his - the two of you now link together via soul and side by side.

***

Azul brought you to the Octavinelle’s renting dorm after ordering Jade and Floyd to start the welcoming party for the first years as well as to get them ready for tomorrow night.

“Do what you need to do,” Azul smiled at the two.

“Of course.”

“You got it, boss!”

When the two of them were out of earshot, you looked up at Azul, “Thank you so much for your help back there. I wasn’t certain what was going to happen if you hadn’t stepped in.”

“Likely the headmage would have thrown you out of the college and left you to fend for yourself,” Azul smiled, “but I, on the other hand, would never allow something so pitifully disgusting happen to you.”

You giggled, the sound pulling on Azul’s heartstrings.

‘She’s here, she’s real,’ his thoughts quickened as the two continued their leisurely pace, ‘I knew that she was real, that she and I would meet. It will only be a matter of time now - once she confesses her feelings for me, I will make her mine.’

The two stopped outside one of the doors, Azul pulled out a key ring and unlocked it before ushering his soulmate inside.

“You can stay here,” Azul answered, peering around and wishing that it was cleaner than it was now, “There’s spare blankets in the closet in case you get cold during the night and fresh towels in the bathroom. I’ll have Jade or Floyd bring you a spare pair of clothing since you’ve brought nothing with you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to…”

“I insist,” Azul answered, “What sort of host would I be if I didn’t provide the best service?”

You giggled again, your smile even wider, “Well, thank you again Azul.”

Each time you spoke his name, Azul’s heart gave a leap of joy. 

He coughed, blushing slightly, “W-Well then, should you need anything during your time here, just let me know.”

“Of course, but - may I ask a question?”

“You already have,” Azul  snickered at you.

Your pout was adorable that Azul burst into laughter before you asked, “Why were you willing to help me? A complete stranger?”

“I have a gift for sensing someone in need,” Azul answered, his grin spreading wider over his features, “I have helped many poor unfortunate souls in my short lifetime and intend on continuing to offer my services in exchange for something.”

“What sort of payment?”

“Depends - but it isn’t something you should worry about. I like to keep a few things in my personal life private - regardless of my relationships with other people.”

“Of course, I can respect that.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” Azul reached out, pushing the hood down and stroking your  soft hair gently, “Why don’t you rest now? I have to attend the welcome party for the new students and make sure no one is destroying anything in my absence. I will have Jade or Floyd bring you something to eat in a little bit along with that fresh change of clothes. Tomorrow, we’ll discuss our contract.”

“Contract?”

“I always have my employees sign a business contract before they begin work - regardless how long they work in the lounge for,” Azul answered, “It helps to have things in writing when dealing with problems later down the road.”

With a nod, you grinned, “Thank you again, Azul-san.”

The cecaelia couldn’t help himself as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pulling away and leaving his other half to stare at him in shock and surprise. 

When the door clicked behind him, Azul pulled the keyring out and locked the door to prevent anyone from entering and you from leaving. His eyes gleamed menacingly in the low light as a black gloved hand stroked the doorframe gently.

‘At last… you’re here with me, my precious pearl. Forgive me, but now that I have seen you… I can never let you go…’

[linkspooky]

You need to make another one of those "metas written by comparing characters with another show you liked" post about Getou now that you experienced FGO Morgan/Aesc.

Time to compare two characters from two different shows I liked (in this case Jujutsu Kaisen and Fate Grand Order: Cosmos of the Lostbelt 6 Faerie Britian) to illustrate what makes a good corruption / fallen hero arc. Two of the best examples I can think of in recent memory are Geto Suguru, and Morgan le Fay of Faerie Britian. They both have tragic arcs which follow similar beats which I think will illustrate exactly why audiences find these characters so compelling.

Both of these characters have their stories told out of order, appearing as villains first before their backstory is revealed but for the sake of simplicity I'm going in chronological order, the heroes they started as all the way to the villains they ended up being.

Before beginning though, a brief lesson on tragedy. Aristotle's poetics argued tragedy runs on the principal of catharsis. The audience feels for the characters on stage, no matter how terrible their acts may be. He argued in favor of moral ambiguity in its heroes. The tragic hero must neither be a villan or virtuous man, but a "character between these two extremes, ... a man who is not eminently goo and just, yet whose misfortune is brought about not by vice of depravity, but by some error or frailty [Aristotle's Poetics.]

The protagonists of tragedies are still heroes, but their good qualities are twisted against them. A tumblr post I see going around from time to time makes the argument that if Othello (the protagonist of Othello) were in Hamlet the story would not be a tragedy because Otello would just stab his uncle and avenge his father. If Hamlet (the protagonist of Hamlet) were in Othello, the story would not be a tragedy because Hamlet who is a characteristic overthinker would probably not fall victim to Iago's manipulations and jump to conclusions the way Othello did. Both of these characters are heroic, Hamlet is a clever and scheming prince, Othello is a talented general a moor who's managed to rise up the ranks in a racist society. However, they are both put into stories where those heroic values are twisted against them by the narrative framework itself. So to make the protagonists of tragedies into villains who were evil all along, ruins the moral ambiguity and therefore the catharsis of a tragedy.

Geto Suguru and Morgan Le Fay are heroes, placed in a narrative framework that twists their own heroic traits against them in ways they can't endure. They fall because of frailty, not because they were inherently evil to begin with. They are antagonists who have the qualities of protagonists, and once were arguably protagonists of the story, which is probably why they have so many fans in the audience despite the fact that they are both of them mass murderers and tyrants.

Now with the long preamble let's look at the stories.

Both characters start as essentially protagonists, and they foil the protagonists they are fighting against during their villain phase. Geto Suguru is a heavy foil for Yuji (we'll talk about this later) and Morgan so heavily foils Castoria because they are both the chosen one.

I'm going to start with Morgan because Fate/Nasuverse lore is a pain to explain. To simplify her story, Morgan Le Fay is from an alternate universe version of Britian. In that Britian everything is ruled by faeries. These are trickster faeries who are total jerks and extremely murderous at times. They were supposed to forge excalibur, but they just didn't do it because they were lazy. This was very bad, so the universe sent a big huge guy to tell them to forge the sword. They were lazy though so instead of listening to him they murdered him in his sleep and he died a horrible death.

The faeries could no longer be forgiven for failing to craft excalibur which is a really important sword that needed to exist, so god or heaven or fate or whoever decided to punish them and sent Aesc who will later be known as Morgan le Fay.

There's some time travel shenanigans but I'm going to skip it because it's confusing. Basically Aesc's job is to wipe out all fairy life and bring an end to their alternate universe, but she decides to defy her destiny instead. The heavens or whoever keep conjuring calamities to wipe out the fairites to punish them for their sins, but instead Aesc fights against them and saves the fairies.

I had a duty to paradise, but I knew that duty would result in Britiain's destruction. This other me, though... She loved Britiain dearly, even the lostbelt version of it. I thought about it, and I realized I wanted the same thing she did. From then on I chose to live as her. (Witch! Witch! Witch! You were the only one to survive the calamity) Countless times, I stopped the calamities. Countless times, I mended clan disputes to end wars. I did not mind. It was not the fairies I loved. I only loved britain itself and the home I would make here. It would be my very own Britian - something that was forever beyond my reach in Proper Human History. I did everything I could to make it a reality. Eventually though, I realized the best way to do that was to keep the faeries safe.

However, because Aesc is not one of them the fairies are generally ungrateful for her saving them again and again. Aesc gathers comrades around her to help ward off these calamities and save people, but she's often attacked by the same fairies she's just saved.

She continues fighting the system of her world again and again, until she's betrayed for the last time in her attempt to save Britan. The final straw is when after years of hard work she's finally brokered a piece and made a king who rules over all the allied fairy tribes, only for his coronation to be ruined, the king to be assassinated along with the entire round table. The king was also her lover, Uther.

Aaah! Aaaah! Why? Why? Why? This was supposed to be the greatest day in fairy history... Everything was supposed to change for the better! BUt they killed Uther! They slaughtered my entire round table like they were trash! They asked the world of us! They thought the world of Uther! BUt now, they've poisoned him...THey were too afraid to even face him cowards. Uther talk to me, please say something! I never let failure stop me! I've kept trying all these thousands of years! Am I doomed to failure here, too! Is it still not enough? Am I not enough? Is it not... Can I not save Britain? Is there no Britain that can be mine! Peace, equality, I never should have tried for either! How dare they! I can never forgive them ever!

You see much like Geto Suguru which I'll later illustrate, Aesc is caught in a cycle where she must continually fight disasters for the faeries to save them only to be met with their continued disdain. Her own higher minded intentions to save the people are what damns her to this painful cycle. If she'd been less heroic, if she didn't care she wouldn't have suffered. She's sacrificing herself over and over again, but sacrificing yourself is in a way just suffering. No one actually wants to walk the thorny path of the martyr, you'll get your feet hurt from all the thorns.

The people who are now accustomed to being saved despite doing none of the work themselves, are by and by completely ungrateful for Aesc's sacrifice. Aesc is a hero, but she's not in a hero's story so she doesn't get any of the benefits of a hero really. She's working with higher minded and more idealistic goals in a deeply cynical world and punished for it. I remind you, she was just there to kill all the faeries and end the world but she tried to save them instead.

It's important to emphasize their good intentions, because a shallower character reading would suggest that they just came out of the womb wanting to murder people. However, they're driven to it because they tried to be good, because they tried to be a hero. They are like Hamlet, and like Othello in the wrong story. They're also sacrificing themselves going against the system of their world and trying to be better than it, only to get dragged down. Their resentment grows against the people they are trying to save, the selfish and weak people who don't seem all that grateful for their heroism. The ones who aren't making sacrifices, the ones who are just content being saved.

I finally understood. My enemy wasn't just the calamities, it was the faeries of Britain as well. They were pure and innocent in the truest sense, they enjoyed both good and evil things alike without losing either that purity or innocence. They are at their core, no different from the loathsome humans who drove me from britain. So I crushed every possible source of malice. Vested interests. Discrimmination. Oppression. Envy. Mockery. All of it. But it wasn't enough. A few fairies took a look at the foundation of peace so many had worked so hard to build ... and tore it apart, because they didn't like it, because they could.

This is what finally leads to Morgan's breaking point, to decide that actually... fairies don't deserve rights. Morgan decides that the fairies are unworthy of salvation and rather than being the hero the only way to accomplish her goals is to become the oppressor and tyrant.

I give up, if everything has failed if it has all come to nothing, then I can never believe in people's so called goodness or understand it. Even if I did, what would be the point? Everything I did, everything I worked for... was just a waste of time. After all the times they betrayed me I should ahve known better... but I still clung foolishly to a sliver of hope. ANd now, because I wasted my time caring about something so utterly absurd, I've failed yet again. If my intent was to keep britain alive, then I was a fool to think being its savior was the way to accomplish it. No more. I will find another way. A better way. ...That's it. I won't deliver the fairies to absolution; I won't deliver salvation. Enough of this faerie of paradise, enough of being Avalon le Fae, I should have ruled this land from the start.

However, as I said it's only Morgan's repeated attempts to be the hero and save the fairies that drove her to this conclusion. However, I'd be amiss to say that Morgan didn't have flaws or selfish qualities from the start. Morgan le Fay is created from the Morgan le Fay we created with from proper legend. I'm not going to explain the lore, but basically she's an alternate universe version, who received memories from the Morgan le Fay of our universe. She knows the story of Morgan le Fay who tried to steal King Arthur's kingdom out from under him.

Alternate Universe Morgan le Fay still had the same chip on her shoulder, and entitlement that our Morgan did. She wanted the kingdom, and wanted Britain for herself. Her desire to play savior might have come from that very same entitlement that she deserves britain. Similiarly, she was most likely hurt so badly from the lack of praise because she also deserves praise for her actions. She has a bit of a superiority complex that places her above the fairies and makes her believe she has the right to rule.

However, as I said Morgan didn't start out as a tyrant she did earnestly try to save the faeries despite harboring those more negative qualities and selfish intentions. She may have had a more self-serving variety of selflessness but it's more the fragility of her that causes her fall. She didn't fall because she was rotten to begin with, she was just not strong enough to withstand years and years of ungratefulness from the faeries and betrayal. She has all the makings of a proper hero, she decides to defy destiny to save the people of faerie britain when she was supposed to be their destroyer. However, because she's in a tragedy she falls due to her insecurities and flaws overwhelming her rather than rising to the occasion.

Her manga chapter and the FGO Lostbelt game prose itself uses the light in the distance as a metaphor for this. Morgan continues going forward on the faint light of hope that things will work out for her and that even as a tyrant she can save Britain. However, it's that same light that damns her. In tragedies heroic qualities become flipped into flaws. Morgan's most heroic quality is her determination, the willpower to endeavor for thousands of years to try to save Faerie Britain, but that determination makes her unchanging, causes her to make the same mistakes over and over again, and just makes her continually suffer like Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the hill.

But that light is just an insect trap - or at least that's how it is for the protagonist of the tragedy. Road to hell, and all that.

After reaching her breaking point Morgan decides she'll no longer try to save the fairies but rather only care about saving the kingdom itself. She goes from the kingdom's hero to its oppressive tyrant after seizing the throne for herself.

That's where we meet the villain we know today.

Now shifting gears to Geto Suguru, he is someone who starts out his story trying to be a hero. A little bit of context on the world of Jujutsu Kaisen, it takes place in an urban fantasy version of Japan where the jungian collective unconscious and the negative emotions of humanity create curses that kill and eat people. These curses need to be exorcised by a few special humans who are given superpowers known as jujutsu sorcerers.

There is an institution of sorcerers known as Jujutsu High, which raises sorcerers from a young age gifted with these powers to exorcise sorcerers. THese teenagers are often sent out on msisions. This is different from most stories of teenage heroes with superpower, because fighting curses is brutal and dangerous and most of these kids are going to die young. There's also no end in sight to the fight against curses, because no matter how many curses are exorcised humans will just keep making more.

Not only do they live in a cynical, and brutal world but most sorcerers are insanely selfish. Just to give an example of how immoral sorcerers are, one of the allies of the main characters is implied to molest her brother, and if she's not she still uses her like 12 year old brother as a child soldier. Nobody ever bothers to question this because the institution of sorcerers are inherently corrupt, it's an instituion that continually sends children off to their deaths and uses people as nothing more than cogs.

Caught within this unfair system and trapped in a cycle of exorcising curses that are just going to come back anyway is Geto Suguru, who is not only a model sorcerer he's presented as much more selfless than your average sorcerer. He's directly contrasted against Gojo Satoru who is kind of just a petty kid with a god complex.

Gojo uses his powers selfishly, he only fights because he's really powerful and killing curses is a way to test and use his abilities. (This is literally stated as canon by Nanami don't fight me on this I'm simplifying his motivations because this is not a Gojo meta look at the entire fight with Sukuna saving Megumi was a secondary concern he wanted to fight a strong opponent). Whether people are saved by his actions are a secondary concern.

Geto on the other hand goes against the grain for most of Jujutsu Society, and believes that they as stronger people have a duty to use their strength to protect the weak. This idea of noblesse oblige is way way different from the attitudes of most sorcerers, who as I said usually turn into petty little people with god complexes.

Not to say Geto doesn't have a god complex, but we'll get to that later. Geto is explicitly contrasted against Gojo who's the only other powerful sorcerer and his best friend, but doesn't think they have an obligation to use their powers to help anyone.

Right away we have two things in common with Morgan le Fay, number one they hold themselves to a higher minded ideal that of using their powers to act as a hero and protect the people underneath them. Number two, this is a choice they make to be better than the people around them. Morgan's destiny is to destroy the faeries and she tries to save them. Sorcerers usually just keep their heads down and do their jobs, they're not heroes, they don't save people they kill curses. In fact, the sorcerers who are selfish assholes (Mei Mei) are wildly succesful, the ones who try to help other people like Nanami die young.

They sacrifice themselves for others. Geto pursuing his higher minded ideal is faced with the same kind of tragedy that Morgan is, where his attempts to save a teenage girl named Riko not only blatantly fail, they fail because of Toji a person who cannot use cursed energy. Everyone they tried to protect died, and they're shown first hand not only does the world not really care about their idealism, but they're not really powerful enough to change this world in any way.

Morgan's lover Uther and all of her allies is ruthlessly slaughtered, by the same faeries she was trying to save after she brokered peace. Geto tries to save a little girl, and he not only watches her die, but he sees an entire crowd of normal people, the people he is fighting to save applause for her death. They all applaud her death because they're a part of a cult that believes that the girl was an affront to their god, but she was mostly just a normal teenager. He witnesses first hand that normal people do not care for the fate of Jujutsu Sorcerers whatsoever.

If Geto were more selfish he would be rewarded. If he didn't attempt to save people, if he just only cared about exorcising curses like Gojo did he'd probably become more powerful and he wouldn't succumb to despair the way he had. Geto exists in a narrative where selfishness is rewarded, and his selfless, heroic traits are continually punished.

This traumatic event makes him aware similarly to the brutal cycle he is caught up in. Morgan le Fay can't save the faeries, because faeries are jerks who can't change. Geto will just continually exorcise curses over and over again. Not only is humanity just going to keep producing more curses, but humans are vastly indifferent to the sacrifices that sorcerers (who are mostly children) keep making to try and save them.

Geto's choice to protect people is the cause of his suffering, because sacrifice is inherently taking on suffering for the sake of someone else - therefore sacrifice is suffering.

This too, leads to Geto's eventual breaking point where he lets his resentment for the same people he's trying to save corrupt him. An incident where just after seeing his dear friend die because of a curse, he's brought to a village of people. The whole village put two little girls in a cage, who were capable of seeing curses and blamed them as the scapegoat for a curse reflecting his village. Geto sees a flash of what happened to Riko again, a crowd full of normal people who don't have to fight curses applauding for the sacrifice of a little girl who was innocent. It's the macrocosm, all of society forcing a few sorcerers to die exorcising curses for them, shown on the microcosm, one village scapegoating two little girls who did nothing wrong.

That's what leads Geto to snap and massacre the whole village. He's now turned against the masses he wants to protect. He then decides that instead of protecting the masses, he's going to kill them and build a world of only sorcerers. He's no longer trying to save them, like Morgan le Fay he's turned to the hero and the Tyrant.

They both even utter similiar words.

I will never save the faeries! I will never forgive the faeries! I don't like monkeys. That's the truth I chose.

Monkeys is by the way, the word Geto uses to refer to normal people who cannot fight curses or even see them. People who don't have superpowers.

One more time I want to emphasize Geto did not come out of the womb wanting genocide. Hamlet didn't start out the play stabbing people. He does have his flaws, just like Morgan by assuming the role of the hero he sees himself in a separate, superior category to the people he wants to protect. There's a line I like in a youtube analysis for for Yuji that applies to Geto as well.

(Other people exist to be saved, which gives Yuji a role in the world) In a way Yuji thinks other people exist to validate his own existence.

Geto begins the story not seeing other people as people. They exist in a category separate from himself. Part of the reason that his failures hit him so hard, is because they disprove this idea of superiority he has for himself. He's shown his god complex is just a complex and he's as flawed and capable of failure as any mortal.

It's an inability to recognize that failure, learn from it, and reconcile it with themselves that causes both Morgan le Fay and Geto to spiral. They are the hero, they are trying to be just, they should reap the just rewards for being a hero. Geto even says as such in a moment of rare jealousy for Gojo, that Gojo is someone who also has godlike power and if Geto had that same power he could change the world the way he wants. He could create his more just world.

Morgan and Geto are characters who begin their narratives with superior complexes and senses of entitlement, selfishly selfess heroes and those negative qualities eventually lead them to fail. Geto thought being a sorcerer made him superior, he just also thought that with that superiority came a responsibility to protect others. Morgan le Fay thought she was the rightful king of Britain, she also thought that divine right to be king also came with an obligation to protect Britain. However, they're not meant to be seen as people who all along wanted to oppress and hurt others.

The key word with tragedy is catharsis, we are supposed to feel for the protagonists of tragedies. We're supposed to see our own traits reflected in them. It's their human qualities to drive them to tragedy.

After all, you reader on tumblr would probably not be able to be a perfectly selfless hero. If you saved someone and then they immediately tried to kill you, you would probably just be a little bitter about it. If you were like Geto and you were working tirelessly to exorcise curses, and all you got was your friends dying, I don't think you'd be like "This is okay :D". If anything, going mad in their extreme circumstances seems like a reasonable response, because could we as the audience do any better in their situations?

Of course the last similarity between Geto and Morgan (besides the fact they both adopt daughters they raise up to be little psychos but this post is getting too long already) is the fact that they both heavily foil the heroes of the story they occupy. They see themselves as villain, they play the role of villain, but they're really just heroes of another story.

Paradise or god or fate or whatever in Faerie britain eventually conjures up another chosen one. This chosen one Altria or as the fandom calls her Castoria is far less heroic. IN fact unlike Morgan who embraces the role of savior she would rather do anything she could to avoid Britain.

This is because for similiar reasons as Morgan, the faeries have basically abused her and tormented her all her life. Yet they still expect her to selflessly step up as their chosen one and save the day from the evil oppressive tyrant Morgan.

You have one protagonist who embraces their heroic quest, and even goes above and beyond by ignoring her destiny to wipe out the faeries and saving them instead. You have another who continually runs away from the heroic quest, and honestly doesn't seem to care that much about saving faeries.

Morgan is actually openly sympathetic to Castoria, and even offers to ally with her a couple of times because she bears the same burden as chosen one. This is another example of how Morgan doesn't quite fit the role of either hero or villain, the ambiguity who makes tragedy.

However, while Morgan does everything to defy fate, Castoria just kind of keeps marching along every step of Joseph Campbell's the heroes journey until she ends up defeating Morgan. Well she doesn't truly defeat her, but Morgan meets her tragic end and gets stabbed a whole bunch of times.

There's a similiar foiling between Geto, and the series protagonist Yuji who both start out the story believing that as sorcerers they have a duty to save others. There are several in story comparisons and direct parallels between the two.

Yuji attempts to save others with his power as a sorcerer over and over again, and is met with the same continual failure that Geto has. Yuji is the only real sorcerer in his generation that cares about saving strangers with his powers. Nobara wants money to live in Tokyo, Megumi only cares about protecting Yuji and his sister, Yuta only cares about his friends, Maki only wants revenge against her clan. Like Maki blatantly says whether people get saved or not by her actions is none of her business.

His own attempts to save people not only fail badly, but he watches people die. He watches a lot of people die in a situation where he is powerless to stop them.

He's met with the same tragedy of Geto but he doesn't succumb to it. The same for Castoria she doesn't decide to be a Tyrant the way that Morgan le Fay did. I would argue this isn't because of any inherent goodness that Castoria or Yuji have but rather because both of them are able to let go of their egoes. Yuji kind of believes the same thing Geto does, that other people exist to be saved by him. He's broken when he realizes that he's not a savior after all...but he's able to continue in a way that Geto isn't.

Yuji lets go of his ego entirely and believes that he's just a cog in the machine and he doesn't need to be some big hero or be rewarded at the end of his hero's journey.

Geto and Morgan le Fay both long for a role in the grand scheme of things. They are still employing narrative thinking, they need to play a story role to validate their existences. It's just that they flipped their role, they tried being the heroes but it didn't work so they're the villains now.

Geto is similiarly rebuffed by Yuta who is his eventual killer by saying that he doesn't actually care about saving the world or if Geto is right that sorcerers are superior to humans, he's only fighting for his friends.

I would say for both castoria and yuji it's not a matter of being inherently good people, but rather of being better at enduring than their counterparts are. Morgan le Fay and Geto try to take the world's suffering on their shoulders, and it breaks them because they're not heroes they're just normal people. Yuji, Castoria and to the same extent Yuta kind of learn to let go of their great heroic aspirations but because of that they're able to take on suffering better. They're trying to live in reality not a grand heroic fantasy.

To bring the example back to FGO, for Castoria and for Morgan the light of hope that led them down their heroic journeys mean two different things. For Morgan that light is an insect trap. Her flying towards that light just causes her to keep suffering through her sisyphian task. Castoria has a much more realistic point of view, she's not trying to get a happy ending or even save people, that light is the hope that at the end of her journey her actions will have meant something. It's more about the journey itself and the people she met along the way, then some big grand reward at the end.

Morgan le Fay and Geto both fail because they are fragile, because they are human. That's the most important takeaway of this long rambling post. They may be selfish, they may be entitled but they're flawed in human ways. After all, who doesn't want a happy ending?

[blooming-violets]

just finished five minutes. what other angsty goodness do you have to offer?!

Something Unforgivable

Peter cheats on his depressed, grieving girlfriend and feels like shit about it (as he should!!) and then part three randomly turns into a sex trafficking ring and murder fest story to spice things up.

Dancing On My Own (and the sequel)

People literally despise the fuck out of Peter in this fic. I seemed to have managed to make a typically beloved babyboy the most hated character. Then I tried to redeem him a bit but only made it worse and made people hate him more...but it's angsty af. And I personally think the ending fits their characters perfectly and makes total sense based on how I wrote them/their trauma/backstory buuuut it doesn't make people happy! ANGST

Nicest Thing

Honestly, this fic was written way before Dancing On My Own but they sort of have very similar vibes and I used a lot of inspo from this one to write DOMO. Like they could be the same Reader character person just in a slightly alternate universe. Peter's bff who's in love with him but he loves Gwen and then she dies and he's depressed and his friend tries to help him but it's hard to help grieving angry people.

Pinky Promise

there's children trying to jump off buildings and terrible fathers and attacks on nyc and two sad people just trying to find love in the midst of it all

Imminent

you see the future and that future shows Peter Parker's death. This is one of my favorite things I've done and I don't even think it's written that well but I think it's a unique concept and therefore it's my fav

Creature Like Me

This is my pride and joy. It's my baby. This is the most "I'm writing for me and only me" story I've ever done. It's just me pumping out chapters and like three people reading and cheering me on. And I have genuinely loved every single second. I. Fucking. Love. This. Story. So. Damn. Much.

Don't

This is short. Peter's an asshole during a fight. I like it because Reader stands up for herself and draws some boundaries. Don't let men treat you like shit. That's the message.

Are You Real?

Someone asked to me write fluff but I didn't see that so I defaulted to angst instead. A touch starved reader in a long distance relationship with Peter.

Touch Starved

Another touched starved but it's Peter who's in need of love.

From my Hurt/Comfort Bingo (that I should get back to completing some day): Caring for Reader's Wounds After Fight (home break in), Look At Me (stuck in an armed robbery), Car Accident (title speaks for itself, ended up as a 3 part mini series), Bring Your Kids to Work Day (reader is stuck in a fire with two kids and no way out)

Smut with Angst elements:

Cheating With Peter

Your marriage sucks, you're in love with Peter, all he seems to want is sex from you though and nothing more so you give it to him bc at least it means you'll be his in some sad pathetic way

In The Dark

Depressed reader needs Peter's help to find her way out of the darkness of her mind (through anal sex, apparently)

Ok that should be more than enough to keep you satisfied.

[versadies]

CHAPTER FOURTEEN \\ EVERMORE (VERSADIES'S VERSION)

SYPNOSIS (of chapter). in which a certain ragnvindr's fate and complications in his life have all led up to a certain you.

SYPNOSIS (of series). breaking up with your first love was heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as getting invited to his wedding after years of not seeing him. that is, until things seem to be easier when you encounter a certain guest, who could end up being more than just a blooming friend to you.

CHARACTERS. kamisato ayato, diluc ragnvindr, thoma (w/ gn!reader)

CONTENT. angst/comfort, grammar errors (?), mentions of violence, sh1nsuke, minor character death, car accident, mentions of threats, spoilers to diluc's canon backstory, terribly written crime case, diluc and kaeya are in good terms

WORD COUNT. 13.7k words

LINKS. EVERMORE MASTERLIST \ MAIN MASTERLIST \ EVERMORE SURVEY

POST-SCRIPT. thanks to your answers in my recent survey that i posted, i decided to put my taglist at the very bottom of the chapter (as well as my other fics from now on) so you could have an easier time reading <333 i hope this version doesn’t disappoint you :DDDD

PREVIOUS || NEXT || ORIGINAL VERSION

A few things Diluc had lost were the bright hopes and future he once had when he was but a teen who's ready to fulfill as many achievements and dreams as he can. 

He could still remember how happy he was with the life he had back then, how he dedicated himself to being faithful with his duties as a detective in the Favonius, Mondstadt’s police department, and used to follow his father around, listening to every word he says as he learns the ways of running the business. 

He remembers all the lessons Crepus taught. He remembers his first time making a drink with the ingredients his father provided on a long table. He remembers his first time serving drinks to customers in Angel’s Share. He remembers his first time attending a business event with his father. 

He remembers his past too much. A price to pay for dwelling too much in the past. 

That Diluc is long gone. All that remains is his shell that’s swallowed by guilt, pain, and helplessness. 

He does not live for himself, but lives for his family’s business to continue thriving and succeed like what his father wanted him to do. He lives to fulfill his father's wishes written on an old piece of paper. He lives to make sure his land is safe from the corrupted and from harm. 

He lives to deal with the burdens that he gained from his birthday. A special, cruel gift from fate.

Wine is something he didn’t like much, which is ironic for someone who specializes in making them. His father actually planned to let him try some of their famous wines that people loved once he’s allowed to, until something happened. 

Wine.. reminds him too much of what happened. 

Diluc didn’t expect to lose his father so early, especially since his father is a healthy man who still had a life ahead of him and a son to guide. He thought his father would live long until he died of old age, a peaceful way of meeting death’s doorstep. 

If only it weren’t for that treacherous car accident…

If only that drunk driver didn’t drink at all with a darn wine. 

For one moment, Diluc was sitting right across from his father in their private van. They were just talking about what Adelaide would cook for dinner, they were just discussing about the client they were talking with earlier, they were just talking about what his father was supposed to say– 

Then before he knew it, everything was turned upside down. Literally. 

He has a hard time breathing, his vision is blurry as he feels lightheaded from being upside down. 

Father…

Diluc tries to get his vision clear and come to his senses. He could hear people screaming somewhere, there’s something that tastes like metallic in his mouth, everything’s hot,  he feels like he’s about to puke– but where is his father?

“Fa…Father…” He calls out. Everything aches so bad, what just happened to him? 

Once Diluc finally sees more, he realizes the car he’s in is upside down. Is this… a car accident? 

The young heir looks ahead when he hears a groan, and his eyes widens at the sight of his father being in the same situation as him – except, his state is way worse than his. 

As for the driver… He doesn’t know where on Earth he is. 

“Fa-Father!” He calls out, his fingers shakily try to unclasp the seatbelt before falling down to the ground that’s filled with the shattered windows from the van. “Father, are you alright?” 

Diluc tries to ignore the pain all over his body as he crawls towards his father and helps him get out of the van. “Hold on, father. I’ll get you out of here!” He says as he reaches out towards his father’s seatbelt to unclasp it. 

“Di..luc? Is that you my.. Son?” Crepus asks weakly, letting out a cough as he falls down from his seat. “I’m glad you’re,” He lets out another cough, “alright…” 

“Don’t worry about me, father.” Diluc reassures him, helping him crawl out of the van through the broken window nearby. The only thing in his head is that he needs to get his father to the hospital immediately. 

As soon as Diluc and Crepus finally manage to get out of the van, the younger man immediately tries to look for his phone in hopes of calling for the ambulance. Thankfully, his phone is still in his pocket and working despite its destroyed state, and he instantly dials the emergency contact. 

“H-Hello? We need help, we’re somewhere by…” As he explains the situation to the operator, the young teen didn’t manage to notice how slow his father’s chest is moving up and down nor did he notice the blood on his hands from covering his mouth when coughing. 

When Diluc finally looks at where his father is, his eyes are full of hope that they’re going to be okay. 

“Father, help is on their way. We’re going to be okay” He says, hoping his father will be alright and be proud of him for what he has done.

Crepus remains silent. 

“...Father?” He quietly calls, his heart sinking when he notices how his father’s chest is stilled. “Father, are you… a-alive?” 

Diluc slowly leaned down with his ear on top of his father’s chest, his eyes widening in fear when he couldn’t hear any heartbeat at all, as though he’s….

No, let’s not jump into conclusions.. He’s probably asleep.. 

The heir gently shakes his father in hopes it’d wake him up, only for his shoulders to sink when his father is still motionless. “Father…?” 

It took the ambulance to arrive for Diluc to stop trying to wake up his father, the paramedics carried him away as another inspected the young heir’s body for any injuries to take care of. 

Whatever the paramedic told Diluc, he did not pay any attention to it. Not when he’s watching the two paramedics looking at each other with hesitant looks on their faces after putting all of their efforts in trying to bring back Crepus, who remains motionless. 

The light in Diluc’s eyes fades away when he realizes what just happened. 

He thought this was just a horrible nightmare. He thought he’d wake up to the familiar sight of his room and continue living in his life with his father who’s alive. It wasn’t until he realized he’s in the hospital room when his hopes shattered in realization that his father was dead and gone. 

“Breaking News! The infamous wine tycoon, Crepus Ragnvindr, has unfortunately passed away due to a car accident. His son, Diluc Ragnvindr, has fortunately survived from the accident. We do not have any updates on the young heir’s condition, but we can only hope that he is well and we give him our condolences for his father’s passing.”

Diluc finds himself staring at the TV helplessly as he continues to stay on his hospital bed. After the paramedics took him and his father to a nearby hospital, he was hospitalized in a VIP room after getting his wounds treated.

Why did this happen? 

He looks down at his bandaged-hands, only for him to remember seeing his father’s blood on his hands. 

Why not me?

He suddenly hears a knock, to be followed by someone entering the room. 

“And here I thought you’d never wake up.” Kaeya spoke as he closed the door behind him, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “How are you?” 

Diluc stays silent, still staring at his hands. 

“...Why am I still alive?” 

The red head didn’t bother to look at his sworn brother, who was extremely taken back by his question. 

“...Why shouldn’t you be?” Kaeya responds, his tone is more serious. “What happened last night is out of your control–”

“I could’ve done something.” He interrupts, he now looks at the blue-haired man with an unfamiliar expression that wasn’t seen before from the usual brightful man. 

It’s as if said brightful man has died with his father.

The blue-haired man dared not to say another word, causing the other to continue speaking. “I could’ve… I could’ve dragged him myself until I found a hospital. Or… Or maybe I could’ve noticed the signs more and performed CPR – but I was busy talking to the operator I couldn’t… I could’ve done something instead of watching him die.” 

Diluc clenches his fists at the memory of the car accident. If only he watched his father more carefully, if only he insisted that they went to another place, if only–

If only he was the one who died instead of his father. 

He can’t imagine running Angel’s Share on his own nor can’t he imagine being able to keep his family’s business together at this age. He thought his father would guide him all the way – he thought he wouldn’t be alone. 

He doesn’t even know if he’s ready to become the next head of the Ragnvindr family. 

“Whatever you could’ve done, there’s no point in that anymore when it already happened.” Kaeya says, grabbing a chair nearby and placing it beside Diluc’s bed before sitting down on it. “Father wouldn’t want to see you like this. He’d want you to carry yourself and take care of the family business with what he had taught you–”

“He isn’t here and he’ll never be.” He snaps. “I can’t just move on and act as if his death doesn’t phase me. I lost someone special to me.”

“He’s someone special to me too.” Kaeya retorts. “You’re not alone, Diluc. You have me, Adelaide, Elzer, and everyone else in the mansion who are willing to help you and be there for you. I’m not saying you should move on and act as if his death doesn’t phase you, but you should stop thinking of what could’ve been and think of what could be now.”

Diluc looks away from his sworn-brother, knowing he’s right. 

It’s true… It’s better for him to think of what he can do now instead of the past. 

“Did you find out who was behind the car accident?” Diluc questioned.

The blue-haired man fell silent.

“What would you do if I said yes?” Kaeya asks, leaning back against his chair. 

Diluc took a long while to answer, something that made Kaeya guess his answer already. The young heir – well, the young CEO rather – is not one to sit idly by and let justice handle itself, it’s precisely why he’s such an efficient officer who never lets one case go ignored or incompleted. 

So when he finally answered, Kaeya did not believe it one bit. 

“Nothing.” 

Liar. I bet you’ll suddenly disappear from this room the next day. Kaeya thought. Yet then again, regardless of what he’ll say to Diluc, he knows he’ll only get himself out later on to find more answers. 

“I better not receive any calls from the hospital about you disappearing,” He said, letting out a defeated sigh. “There was a driver who crashed into your van. He’s currently imprisoned and will face charges as well as imprisonment.”

Diluc was about to open his mouth for another question when Kaeya lifted up his hand to stop him. “I’m not some person of interest being interrogated. Save your questions for later, focus on your health first.” He clarifies. “I can’t disclose too much about the incident to you since Chief Varka instructed me to, but I can reassure you we have everything under control, brother.” 

The red-haired looks at him with an unexplainable expression on his face. 

“...Fine.” 

And so, Diluc trusted Kaeya, knowing fully well all the words his sworn brother told him were all a lie.

Eventually, he found out that the police suspected it was a drunk driver who drove into the car. However, thanks to the security cameras around that area being disabled due to technical problems that have been ongoing for the past weeks before, it took a while to find out who was exactly the drunk driver that managed to get away from the scene of the crime before the authorities arrived.

What made it more strange was how the person who was driving the van is not the same driver who usually brings Diluc and Crepus around the place. The driver was left behind in the building he and his father  visited, meaning that this whole time, the two men were unknowingly in the same car with an unknown person who has unexplained motives. 

Diluc could only guess the motives weren’t pleasant given the aftermath. 

Unfortunately, the police weren’t able to find the unknown driver and are still looking for him, making all the things worse for Diluc, who feels like his lifespan is draining away the more he stays in the hospital doing nothing but wait and ponder. 

Countless time that’s spent inside the hospital room made the red-haired feel suffocated. His patience is getting thin each time he receives no useful information whatsoever about the damn cause of the car accident that drove his father to death, his overwhelming guilt for being the only one to survive is getting bigger each day after spending too much in his thoughts, and his loneliness began to devour him inside out as the sounds of the TV news were just white noise to him. 

He hates that he’s doing nothing. 

It would’ve been better if he didn’t feel anything, but at this moment, he’s feeling everything. 

Eventually, Kaeya and the others manage to find out who was involved in the incident – an FPD officer in his mid-20s who was trying to move on from a heartbreak, only to end up drinking more than he intended and got into a car accident. 

He’s relieved that they finally found who was partially the cause of it, but that doesn't mean he feels like he can rest peacefully. 

Not when the other driver is still missing. 

It took a few more days until there’s finally more news about what FPD (Favonius Police Department) would do to the drunk driver, but it wasn’t what Diluc was hoping for. 

“What…?” He asks for Kaeya to repeat what he had just said from the phone. It felt unreal to hear it – he would’ve thought his brother is joking with him again if it weren’t for the remorseful tone in his voice. 

Surely… Surely Favonius did not go mad while he was gone, did they? 

“I’m sorry you have to hear this, brother.” Kaeya said. “I couldn’t believe it either. When I came back from the hospital, Amber suddenly informed me that Officer Pallad was released with no charges at all.” 

Had Diluc not controlled his strength, his phone would’ve been crushed and destroyed from anger. 

“Why?” 

“...Lieutenant Eroch informed me it was because there was not enough evidence to prove that he’s the one who was involved with the incident. Don’t worry, my team and I are already looking for more evidences–”

“I’ve waited long enough.” Diluc interrupts before ending the phone call, his eyes darted towards his coat that’s hanging near the door.

It wouldn’t hurt to have a chat with Lieutenant Eroch, would it? 

“My deepest condolences for your loss, Detective Ragnvindr.” Eroch said, sitting on his chair as Diluc stood across from him. “Alberich informed me that you were still hospitalized, but it appears he isn’t aware that you’re discharged today. How are you?” 

“I’ve been feeling better.” He answers, not bothering to give him a polite smile as he usually does with everyone back then. “May I ask something regarding the case of the car accident?” 

Eroch hums. “Getting to the topic, huh? Alright, you may.” 

“...Why did you release Officer Pallad?” 

It took a few moments before the lieutenant let out a sigh, as though he suspected the young detective to ask such a question. “I may have realized that our officers could possibly have arrested the wrong man after the testimony of Officer Pallad during our interrogation. I cannot let our image as the protectors of our city be tarnished for such a possible mistake, especially since he’s a part of the department.” 

“But the evidence is all there, is it not?” Diluc clarifies, not caring about the fact that he could get in trouble for questioning a higher up’s motives. “Alberich found that Officer Pallad was in Angel’s Share before he drove through the route that led to the car accident. He’s the only one whose vehicle has a huge dent at the fr–”

“It’s not enough for us to officially conclude it’s him who crashed into your van.” Eroch interrupts.

“Then what will it take for you and the others to consider him being–” 

“Never. Unless you have a clear footage of Officer Pallad’s vehicle crashing into yours.” 

Diluc tries not to feel hopeless. “...What about the person who was driving the van? Did your team at least find something about them?” 

Eroch shakes his head. “Unfortunately we have not. But that’s none of our concerns at the moment, not when there are other important cases we have to look into.” 

The red-haired man feels his hands clenched into fists. “None of your concerns? You’re looking for the two people who killed my father–”

“Tell me, Detective Ragnvindr. Are you here to waste my time telling me to do something I can’t do in a blink of an eye? Or are you here to give me something worth my time?” 

The other man stays silent, his mind filled with more questions instead of the answers he wanted. 

Why? 

It didn’t help that the lieutenant looked less guilty and more bored, something that made Diluc start considering if the police department truly serves to protect the people of Mondstadt.

Eroch lets out another sigh before standing up. “I assure you detective that we’ll quickly let you know if we found something about the culprits, but now is not the time unfortunately. It’s best that you should keep this a secret from the public. We wouldn’t want our reputation to be tarnished because of a reckless officer drinking. If we won’t be able to find the culprits, then we have no choice but to consider–“

Eroch stopped talking when he hears something on his table, causing him to glance down and realize it’s a badge,

The badge that belongs to Diluc. 

“Forget it.” The detective said in a cold tone before turning around to take his leave.

The lieutenant didn’t bother convincing Diluc to change his mind, and simply watched as the ex-detective left his office with all hope and faith lost in him. 

All that remains is the determination in bringing down what brought his father to his death. 

When Kaeya found out, he did not find the power to persuade his brother to come back and work for FPD, not when Diluc isn’t the type to retire from his career as a detective so quickly. Instead, he wished him well and made sure to let him know that he will do his best to help his dear brother out in finding out the culprits of the accident, something that the red-haired appreciated.

The news that Diluc has retired from being a detective spread like wildfire the day after. It didn’t matter what the public thinks, all that mattered for Diluc is that his father gets a proper and quiet funeral that he deserves. 

The funeral… It’s hard to talk about it. 

The ceremony left an empty part in the poor young man’s heart. Had it not been for Kaeya and those who work in the mansion, he would’ve felt alone. There wasn’t an overwhelming number of people who came to his funeral, but just the right amount of people for others to know how much Crepus was cared for and loved by a lot of people. Some were his close acquaintances in the business world, some were his old pals, some were his dear friends, and some were employees from both the mansion and from Angel’s Share who have been loyal for a long time. 

Diluc tried to hold it together and not break down in front of everyone, wanting people to know that he can handle Angel’s Share without his father’s guidance anymore. It still feels unreal that he won’t see his father for the rest of his life now. 

I promise father, Diluc thought in his mind as he placed a flower on top of Crepus’s coffin. I promise I will find out who caused your death and will make sure justice will come. 

Of course, just because he stopped working in FPD, it doesn’t mean he’ll stop helping and protecting everyone in his nation. 

Diluc plans to disappear sometime after his father’s burial, wanting to find out who crashed into the van and who was driving the van that he and Crepus were in. The least he can do is to bring justice to those who are responsible for his father’s undeserving death. 

Before that, he must hear his father’s wills as well as a paper that’s written by his father that Adelaide managed to find when she was fixing the passed CEO’s bedroom. 

His wills are simple. The mansion, the company, the establishment will now be in the hands of Diluc as he is the rightful heir. Kaeya got some valuable items of Crepus that’ll be of use to his life and his job in Favonius. The rest of the items will then be handed over to both charity and to Alice, Diluc’s godmother.

As for the paper… 

It was a letter for both Diluc and Kaeya that the passed CEO managed to write in case he died. Not only did it contain advice and going through the memory lane, it also contained secret feelings and unsaid words that the man didn’t get to say. 

One of them in particular is his wish for Diluc’s future. 

“...I fear that I might not make it to watch you grow up into the man who has a life ahead of him, and it breaks my heart to imagine you reading this if I died too soon. My son, your journey will not be easy if I’m no longer here, but I know you can get through this. You have people who care for you as much as I do and I know they’re all happy to help you with the troubles that can come in your way. I wish you nothing but happiness and safety in your life, so please, do not mourn for me forever and move on in a healthy way. Do not burden yourself with what you could’ve done, instead, accept that you can’t change the past and only learn from it. 

If fate decides so, I hope that someday, you’ll meet someone who you consider as your equal and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Treat them with respect, understanding, and love like I did with your mother and I hope they’ll do the same with you. Don’t concern yourself with what the public thinks and what I would think. Just know that it’ll make your old man happy if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone who makes you happy and feel cherished. (the rest of the letter is blank, making it evident that Crepus hasn’t finished it completely for unknown reasons).”

Diluc didn’t know what to think when he read it, he could only close his father’s letter and keep his words to his heart. 

Now that the wills have been revealed, Diluc and Kaeya have no choice but to come visit Alice – who’s currently in Liyue for her next book about the region – to transfer some items for her. 

“My deepest condolences for your loss.” She said, watching as Diluc sat down on his seat across from hers as someone filled his drink with tea. Unfortunately, Kaeya had a call from work and won’t be able to come inside the room to talk to the woman. “It saddens me that your father has to go so soon. How have you and Kaeya been?” 

“Thank you… We’re doing well, Aunt Alice.” Diluc responds.

The woman smiles lightly. “That’s good to hear.. I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t found those who are responsible for the… accident. But you must know, revenge won’t do much for your grievance towards your father.” 

The red-haired man tries not to look surprised, but stays silent, causing Alice to continue. 

“I know it’s difficult to lose someone who guides you in your life. Partings are the most painful things, but they also encourage us to grow. A bird that has lost the roof over its head will fly further than others of its kind.” 

She then lets out a chuckle. “But of course.. I know you wouldn’t be persuaded by my words, so I wish you still have your sense of good and justice on your journey to look for them. It’s not an easy task I bet, but I’m sure you’ll be able to catch them with your capabilities.” 

The woman’s eyes gazed towards a bulletin board on one of the walls before looking back at the young man. “Should you be able to find the culprits, then you can try to go out and see the world afterwards. That’s the best course of action I can envision for you. Only by feeling, observing, and listening can your heart be healed. Everything that was your father now finds new life with you, that which you will experience in this world may have been things that your father experienced once upon a time.” 

When Diluc looks at the older woman’s eyes, it screams nothing but good things for him and Kaeya. 

Something he never thought he needed until now. 

“...Thank you for your words.” 

“Anything for you. I hope that the wind will bring you all manner of wondrous things in your many journeys to come, Diluc. Should you need a person to talk to or consult with, I’m always willing to lend an ear. I hope you won’t mind if I treat you as if you were my own child.” 

–

It only took two days for Diluc and Kaeya to deal with the rest of the items that once belonged to Crepus while catching up with Alice before they decided to take their leave. Not only did they both have to go back for their jobs, but Diluc also had to go back to start his search in finding the culprits of the accident.

Before the two young men could leave the estate Alice lives in, the woman stops them for a moment. 

“One last thing before you two go.” The woman then pulls out two items: a pocket watch and an earring with a blue jewel in it. “These belong to your father who left these with me back then. I think it’s best if you have these instead.” 

Diluc hesitantly grabs the pocket watch while Kaeya grabs the earring, letting out a comment about “what a perfect timing this is, I was thinking of a good accessory to buy as a souvenir from Liyue.” causing Alice to laugh.

“Thank you, Aunt Alice. We wish you well on your journey as well as your work.” Diluc said politely.

Alice waves them off. “Have a safe trip, boys. Do tell my darling Klee that I said hi when you get back, alright?” 

And so, the two men left. 

As they’re on their way to the airport, Diluc stares down at the pocket watch Alice gave him, his mind filled with what’s to come for him once he comes back. 

He can’t turn back now, not when the two drivers could potentially hurt someone else.

“You’re planning something, aren’t you?” Kaeya asks suddenly, causing the red-haired man to look up at his sworn brother.  

“...What’s it to you?” 

The blue-haired man lets out a chuckle. “Oh Diluc, I thought you’ve learned by now that I wouldn’t let you do things on your own, have you?” 

He lets out a sigh in response. “I don’t need your help. This should be something I must do on my own–”

“You’re finding the two culprits who are responsible for our father's death, so I too want to take them both down with you because they deserve to go to jail for their crimes. Besides, you’re no longer a detective in FPD, the least thing I can do is to hand out some information that’s given to us, particularly the one that involves the mysterious driver that managed to get his hands on your van.” 

His eyes slightly widened from hearing that. “...There’s info on the driver now?”

Kaeya hums. “It’s not much, but it’s worth reading it since I’m sure it’ll help you with your investigation. Feel free to ask more about the case, it’ll definitely take some work off my shoulders if you somehow find that driver. I’ll take care of the aftermath once you do” 

Diluc stays quiet for a moment. 

“..Fine, you can hand it over to me anytime. Just.. make sure to keep an eye on Eroch and his men.” He says.

The blue-haired crosses his arms. “Who said I don’t? That lieutenant has been suspicious since day one. I’m relieved Deputy Chief Jean is quite determined to investigate him and see if there’s anything suspicious.” 

Jean…

“You mean Gunnhildr?” Diluc asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. She recently transferred to the department thanks to Chief Varka. I caught her skimming around the lieutenant's office while he was gone.” Kaeya then smiles. “You should try talking with her. Isn’t she an old friend of yours?” 

“We weren’t close.” 

“Still. I’m sure she’ll be delighted to see someone who’s just like her in the department – besides the retirement – and is familiar with her personally.” 

The red-haired man thinks about it for a while.

“I’ll.. Think about it sometime.” 

“Perfect.” 

By the time the two men are on their way through the airport, Diluc finds himself immersed in his thoughts about his plan in going around Mondstadt to look for the culprits who are responsible for his father’s death. He was so distracted that he didn’t pay attention to how there are paparazzis lingering around nor did he realize that he was about to bump into someone until it’s too late.

“Sorry.” He mutters to the person he bumped into before continuing his way towards his plane. He failed to notice how a certain item managed to slip out from the pocket of his black and long coat. 

Until he hears someone calling him. 

“Sir!” The stranger called, causing Diluc to stop his tracks for a moment and turn around to see if the stranger was calling him, only to spot someone walking towards him with a familiar object that he stared at moments ago.  

“You dropped this,” you said, showing him the pocket watch, “sorry again for bumping into you, by the way.” 

Diluc’s eyes slightly widened, a bit stunned by your kind act. Had it been anyone else, they probably would’ve kept it with them..

He slowly grabs the watch from you. “Thank you.” 

You give him a smile and nod in response. “It’s no problem” 

Without another word, you immediately ran off from Diluc, as if you didn’t just get the chance to meet Mondstadt’s two most famous men. 

“My, I’m surprised they didn’t know about us two, Diluc.” Kaeya spoke in amusement, watching you go away. “You’re lucky they gave you that pocket watch. I’m not sure what would happen to you if you lost your father's watch after he just died.”

Diluc’s expression quickly changes to a glare, looking at Kaeya’s direction. “Watch your mouth before I make sure you’re not going to my private plane on our way back to Mondstadt.” 

The other laughed. “I’m rich too, Diluc.” 

The red-haired man then turns around. “We should go before we start wasting our time. The sooner we get to Mondstadt, the better.”

“Whatever you say, brother.” 

–

Diluc didn’t hesitate to start his search immediately when he arrived in Mondstadt.

Unfortunately, after Pallad was released from the department cell, the vehicle that had a dent was immediately returned to him, so there’s a chance that it’s gone by now. 

Despite being accused of reckless driving and a culprit of a car accident, Pallad still had the audacity to come back to Angel’s Share – not that the CEO is complaining, this definitely made things easier for him.

It’s already an alarming sight to see the officer using a new vehicle. 

For the rest of the night, the young CEO listens attentively to Pallad’s conversations with other customers who are familiar with him. There wasn’t any useful information until someone finally asked the officer about his car. Apparently, he got himself a new car because his other one is too old and not functioning well, making him give it up in a car graveyard. 

That was all the information he needed.

It took a while when Diluc finally found the graveyard that Pallad owns with the help of some of his connections (one of them being Kaeya, who told him the details of what the car looks like). It wasn’t hard to find the car Pallad used since he only gave it up recently, but it was hard to hold himself back after seeing the officer’s car that clearly has a huge dent despite seeing it for the second time.

He will never forgive that drunkard for killing his father.  

Diluc was at the very least relieved when he spotted a dash cam inside the car. The officer must’ve been confident enough to not consider deleting footage of his dash cam, thinking it’ll be destroyed thanks to the graveyard. Unfortunately though, the dash cam was broken from possibly the accident, so it took a while to restore the footage until the ex detective got his hands on the piece of evidence that Eroch will surely not reject.

After the repair, Diluc sent it to Kaeya, who would pass it to Chief Varka and drag Pallad back to prison at last. 

All that’s left was the unknown driver. 

If it weren’t for Kaeya’s help in giving him information, Diluc wouldn’t know where to start. The only information the Favonious Department found about the culprit is they’re a part of an organization called the Fatui, based on a blurry CCTV that contains footage of someone in a Fatui uniform infiltrating the parking lot where the Ragnvindr’s van is and was never seen coming out. 

The Fatui… Just hearing that name made Diluc feel angry.

They’re not an unfamiliar name in the business world. They’re known for being dangerous, powerful, threatening, and not to be underestimated. A woman who owns the company, Tsaritsa, is the most powerful person in all of Snezhnaya. People in the cold region respect her and look up to her for her contributions to the country, particularly the advanced technology that she invented. Those who aren't from Snezhnaya look at her in the opposite way.

Crepus and Diluc are those people. 

He’s heard of what they do to those who have wronged the company as well as the things they can do to those who associate with them. It’s a miracle that the Ragnvindr hasn’t interacted with them at all (as far as the young CEO knows at least..), and as the new CEO, he knew he had to keep it that way.

Now that he thinks about it, just what did Crepus do if Fatui is responsible for his death? 

Diluc isn’t sure if he wants to know the answer. 

But he knows he has to. He has to understand why this happened to his father and where the driver ran off to, even though he’s fully aware that he won’t be able to grasp the full truth of the story. 

He then considers Alice’s advice: to travel around Teyvat. The Fatui is everywhere in the world, so he plans to go through every single one of them in each nation until he reaches Snezhnaya, where he’ll try to confront those who hold the higher ground of the Fatui and hopefully learn the truth. 

He hands over the Dawn Winery business to Adelaide, Elzer, and Kaeya and informs them that they can always reach him through messages. He trusts them all that his family business won’t sink and will remain as strong as ever, so he isn’t worried that he’ll be contacted to come back to Mondstadt to fix a situation. 

“How long will you be away?” Kaeya asks as he watches his brother pack his items in his luggage. “I’m not sure how to tell everyone about your leave, what should I answer if they ask when you’ll come back?” 

“Tell them I’ll be back in due time.” He answers, focusing on thinking about what else to bring for his travels. “I can’t… guarantee when I’ll come back. This won’t be an easy trip for me.” 

“Of course not, not when you’re taking on the Fatui.” The blue-haired said, his smile begins to fade. “Just… make sure not to die while you’re at it. I can’t attend another funeral again.”

“No promises.” 

The two of them then fell silent. The only noise around the room is Diluc placing his necessities in his luggage.

“...Could you at least talk to Miss Jean once before you leave?” Kaeya asks.

Diluc lets out a sigh. “Why are you so insistent on me talking to her?” 

His brother lets out a chuckle. “Don’t get me wrong, brother. I’m simply convincing you to talk to her about the FPD. She has more information than anyone else in the department and might be a great help to you, trust me.”

Kaeya wasn’t wrong about that. “Fine, I’ll consider having a chat with her if that’ll keep your mouth shut.” He said with a huff. 

Kaeya smirks. “Good. You can thank me by giving me a free drink in your establishment if you end up getting good information out of that hangout.” 

“In your dreams.” 

– 

With the help of Kaeya, Diluc was able to contact Jean and see if she’s willing to spend some time with him, only for her to instantly agree and invite him to a private restaurant where they won’t be disturbed.

“It’s an honor to be able to meet you, Mr. Ragnvindr.” Jean said with a polite smile as she and Diluc sat down on their seats across from one another, the server pouring water on their glasses before handing out two menus and taking his leave. “I hope you didn’t have a hard time finding this place, did you?” 

The red-haired man shakes his head. “No worries, I didn’t have any difficulties. How’s your… day?” 

“I’m relieved you didn’t have any hard time, and my day has been a breeze, thank you.” She then lifts up her cup towards her lips. “If I may ask, what brings you to spend time with me today?” She asks before taking a sip of her drink. 

He lets out a sigh when he remembers his brother. “Ah… You should thank Kaeya for that. He’s been nagging me to come and talk to one of my colleagues before I take my leave.” 

Jean’s eyes widened. “Oh, you’re leaving?” 

He nodded in response. “I’m planning to… travel to some places. I won’t be back for a long time, so I’m sure a lot of things will change by the time I return.” He explained. 

“I see… I understand, you need something to get your mind off of everything.” She says with a sad smile. “I hope you get something out of your trip, and may the wind lead you to the closure you needed.” 

He processes her words. “...Thank you.” 

Something flashes through Diluc’s eyes, and the atmosphere turns serious. “I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to discuss something regarding… something about a certain PD.” He adds. 

Jean stays silent for a moment, also turning serious.

“...Is this related to the reason why you’ve asked for a chat with me?” She asks. 

Well, she isn’t wrong about that. Diluc was already considering meeting up with Jean as soon as Kaeya told him about how the woman had her eye on Lieutenant Eroch as soon as she was transferred for reasons unknown. There’s no doubt that there’s something amiss in the police department given how sudden her transfer was, and it’s related to the lieutenant who shrugged off the case of his accident. 

Could he be the one behind his father’s death perhaps?

Diluc feels a little guilty for talking to the woman simply because of how she has the information he wanted. “Yes. I understand if you’re not willing to talk about it.” 

Jean shakes her head reassuringly. “No it’s alright. I have a feeling I know where this is going now.” 

She then looks around cautiously before whispering, “we are talking about Lieutenant Eroch, right?” 

He nodded. “Correct. I heard that you’ve been skimming around his office.” 

“You must’ve heard it from Mr. Alberich then.” She says with a light chuckle. “He’s the only one outside of the operation who knows, your brother has my deepest gratitude – if anything, I would’ve been easily caught by Lieutenant Eroch and make the situation worse if your brother tells him.” 

“What’s your purpose there?” He asks. 

Jean taps her fingers on the table, careful of what to say. “Let’s just say the lieutenant has been way too suspicious lately. Too suspicious that it caught the attention of a certain chief.” 

“And the certain chief requested you to personally investigate it?” 

She hums, looking down at her drink. “I suppose it’s for the better since we’re not sure who’s on our side, hence why I was transferred to the Lion of the South Department (2).” 

“You came from the Falcon of the West Department, correct?”

“Yes. I was actually supposed to come to the Lion of the South Department in a year, but it seems Chief Varka has other plans.” 

Diluc chuckles. “He’s one unpredictable man, indeed.” 

Jean then looks up at the man. “Is there.. Something you want me to do?” 

He crosses his arms. “There is. I take it that you haven’t found anything from his office?” 

She shakes her head with a sigh, only for Diluc to continue his words. “Then you should look on the rooftop.” 

She furrowed her eyebrows, now curious. “May I ask why?” 

“The lieutenant’s always up there if he’s not in the conference room and office.” Diluc says. “I’m sure a man like him wouldn’t go to the rooftop for view-watching or some peace and quiet. You should check if there’s something that’s hidden in sight.” 

Jean nodded slowly. “I see… Thank you for this, Mr. Ragnvindr.” 

“Please, you may call me Diluc.” He says. “I’m sure this won’t be the last time we’ll interact and talk like this.” 

It’s safe to say he’s right, this wasn’t the last time he’ll be interacting with Jean.

He’ll admit, she’s good to cooperate with. Not only did she take note of his advice, she also made sure to give a piece of her mind in return. 

He feels relieved, knowing that someday, the FPD will have yet another reliable and great chief who’ll lead them once Varka steps down. 

As soon as their hangout came to an end, both parties were satisfied with the information they gained. They both agreed to keep in touch with one another through texts so Jean could update him about Eroch (and hopefully something about the Fatui should the Favonius find out about something), thus exchanging each other’s numbers before taking their leave.

Afterwards, he began his journey to travel around Teyvat in search of the truth.

He supposedly wanted to stay in Mondstadt to investigate them, but knowing the possibility that they could be watching him given that he didn’t die from the accident, he instead decided to make it his last resort. 

Of course, he kept in touch with Kaeya, Adelaide, and Jean, who all informed him of updates regarding Mondstadt, the wine establishment, and the FPD. There were many good news to hear, such as how Kaeya became even more famous after a particular case where he found many children who were missing, how Angel’s Share is still the most sought-after establishment–

The one news that made him relieved is how Lieutenant Eroch has finally been arrested for many countless crimes committed, but unfortunately, none of the crimes were involved with the car accident.

He also learned how Chief Varka and a couple of officers were sent to a classified mission, which resulted with Jean becoming the current Chief of Police while he was gone. Meanwhile, Kaeya also became the lieutenant of the FPD, claiming he’s now “oh-so busy after my dearest brother left me here to rot with these never ending cases.” 

In a blink of an eye, four years have passed. 

There was never a moment when his determination wavered, his passion is as strong as an eternal flame that never goes out. He never fails to remember why he’s doing this and why he must finish this journey, reminding himself by remembering all the memories he shared with his father. 

Sometimes, he goes back to that time when Crepus died. Trying to remember if there was a single detail he must’ve missed that could help him make more progress with his investigation, only to bring back the pain, helplessness, and guilt he tried to suppress.

He took down most – if not all – that involved the Fatui’s dirty work, brought down those who are as evil as they can be and exposed them in public, and even fought them with either his own hands or with a weapon should the situation resolve in.. an inappropriate manner. 

Because of this, he’s now considered a threat who shouldn’t be underestimated.

Throughout his trip, he once helped a few people who have the same motives as him, such as a woman from Liyue’s government – the Qixing – whose against one of the members of the board of directors in the Fatui, a young CEO in Inazuma who disapproves the Fatui, a man who holds an important position in Teyvat’s most prestige academy and also has something against the Fatui for reasons he didn’t disclose, and many more. 

However, the most notable person he came to work with is someone who introduced him to a secretive network. If it weren’t for them, he would’ve been killed in Snezhnaya by the Fatui. 

Despite how far he has come, Diluc never encountered Tsaritsa – besides some of the board of the directors, who all have anything but good intentions towards him. This doesn’t mean his journey all came to fruitless of course, not when he learned so much from traveling around the world and encountering other people. 

He looked past his progress from his journey, and after a lot of thoughts, he decided to join the underground intelligence network, where he put all his dedication in it just as he did in the FPD. Not only did he rise up into the upper ranks of the network, he also gained even more useful information about the Fatui, such as how Officer Pallad’s involvement with the accident has nothing to do with the Fatui, causing the driver to run away from the incident since the van is destroyed.  

He also finds out from the network that Fatui can’t touch certain people such as the Tianquan, the Chief of Police, some families, and even certain CEOs of companies who are too valuable in their nations. He also gained new comrades – most of whose pasts are left behind and go on with the future like the wind. 

Perhaps he too, should stop looking back with the past and not think about all of what could’ve been anymore. 

By the time his journey had ended, he had a conclusion. 

The driver is still unknown, but he knew the order came from either the board of the directors, the chairman, or the CEO herself based on certain documents from each branch that mentioned the Ragnvindr name. The possible explanation is that Fatui wanted to  burn down the biggest supplier and the company who has unmatched wines in Mondstadt, whose nation revolves around wine and freedom.

Not to mention how everything will turn out worse should he face the Tsaritsa with ill intentions. Given how the Tsaritsa is one of the most – if not the most – important figures in Snezhnaya, only Celestia can tell what will happen to Diluc. 

He also realized that when he comes back to Mondstadt, he is still just as unsafe as he was during his stay in Snezhnaya.

He started thinking: what if he loses everyone he cares for? What if his brother gets taken? What if his dedicated and loyal employees get hurt? What if he somehow falls in love with someone, and they get hurt because of him? 

This led Diluc to believe that it’s for the best that he tries not to get too close with anyone anymore – let alone fall in love. Hence why he isn’t usually found with people around him, besides those who work for him or want to work with him in the business world of course. 

If he wants to be safe as well as protect those who he cares for, he must protect Mondstadt and become stronger. 

When he finally returned to Mondstadt, everyone was too busy talking about the latest mystery of the nation, aka the person responsible for the crime rates suddenly going down and for dragging criminals to the FPD’s doorstep before the sun rises. No one suspected it was the CEO of Angel’s Share – not when he just came back from his journey (in reality he actually arrived back a bit early but went undercover for a couple of days before announcing his comeback). 

By day, Diluc stays in his office doing his work by signing and approving documents, inventing new beverages, and sometimes serving in Angel’s Share if the days are quite slow. By night, he strolls around the city when everyone’s asleep, looking out for anyone who’s in possible danger as well as anyone who’s possibly a threat. He makes sure no one was followed or stalked, no shops being stolen, and no houses being invaded – it honestly reminded him of his old days as a detective back then. 

To Diluc’s relief, there were no actions from the Fatui towards him ever since he came back to Mondstadt – unless you consider the few Snezhnayan merchants who’d come to the wine tycoon in hopes for a partnership with their business. Of course, that doesn’t mean he’s less cautious and less guarded with his surroundings. 

This went on for the next few years. It’s the same cycle as always besides the special occasions and events he attended to: wake up, get ready, do paperwork in his office, check on his vineyard and think of new drinks to make for his establishment, visit Angel’s Share and help Charles if possible, go back home, start his patrols around the city, go back home and repeat. 

He didn’t mind how nothing’s changed much. As long as he’s doing what he can, he’s content with his life. 

Fast forward, Diluc was recently invited to attend the Grand Goth Hotel for the wedding between Hiiragi Chisato and Kamisato Ayato. Unfortunately he had no one who could be his plus one since everyone is busy, so he thought he’ll just be all alone, something he grew used to and didn’t mind thanks to his four years of exploring around Teyvat. 

Then he met you. 

He bumped into you due to him being distracted by his call with Kaeya. He realized his mistake for not apologizing quickly, but when he turned around to look at where you are, you’re far from his reach. 

He thought that was the end of it, until he saw you again in the souvenir shop hours later. He felt like you looked familiar when he first saw you in the shop, and perhaps you must be feeling the same way as well from how you’ve been staring at him like a hawk. However, when it’s revealed that you’re only staring at him because you remembered him bumping into you, he felt… taken back. That’s the reason why you’ve been staring at him? 

He was even more taken back when you were quick to tell him how he was so rude for not apologizing to you. He’ll admit, it’s sort of a refreshing sight to see someone who isn’t so timid or nervous around him and isn’t afraid to scold someone for their errors no matter who they are. Nevertheless, he didn’t hesitate to apologize for his behavior – and when he found out you’re also a guest in the wedding, he was even willing to pay for your wedding gift if you allow him to share, something you reluctantly agreed on after checking its price. In a way, this is his payment for what you’ve done for him back at the airport (though, he wasn’t aware that you’re the same person that gave him his father’s watch at that time). 

The next time you meet was in Good Hunter’s, whereas he overhears your conversation with who seems to be your group of friends. He didn’t bother listening to it, until he heard his name being mentioned. 

When you explained how you don’t like him because of how rude he is, he felt taken back once again. Were you really that hurt from him bumping into you? Well, his shoulders are broad and must’ve hit you quite harshly if he wasn’t careful at that time, so he can’t blame you for thinking he’s rude for that. 

But then again, he thought buying those champagne flutes for you was enough… 

Turns out, it is enough. 

It was strange how he keeps seeing you these days, especially this particular day. Almost everywhere he goes, you’re also there. It was quite an interesting  situation, he thinks. 

However, he knows that he shouldn’t get close to you. He swore to never be close with anyone anymore (with the exception of his loved ones) and you cannot be an exception. That’s why he has to make sure he can’t meet you again, for you and his sake. 

Yet despite his oath, he still finds himself getting involved with you – especially during one of those encounters when he sees you in a rather uncomfortable situation. 

He recognizes the two men talking to you as being the members of the Kamisato family. He would’ve mind his business if it weren’t for how you seem to be in need of help, 

And Diluc is not someone who ignores such a situation.

So he comes over to where you are, acting as if he was looking for you despite a part of him telling him to not go and help you. Fortunately, you caught on to what he was trying to do and played along to his lie, something that the other two men fell for and decided to leave you two alone. 

He’s not one to pry into someone’s life, but he wonders what the Kamisato has done to make you so distraught and sad. Instead of asking, he simply kept his mouth shut and offered you his handkerchief, and you reluctantly grabbed it from him. 

The gesture made him finally realize why you’re so familiar to him. 

The incident was years ago, but he’ll never forget you giving him back something precious to  him. He really can’t imagine what would’ve happened if he lost one of the things that belonged to his father. He isn’t sure if you remembered it, but it didn’t matter, because he finally repaid his gratitude to you. 

After comforting you, he eventually found out that you indeed had forgiven him already, causing him to feel a bit embarrassed that he’s been thinking that you still haven’t forgiven him. 

As soon as you enter your hotel room after what happened, Diluc realizes that somehow, this wedding no longer seems to be as lonely as he anticipated it to be. 

You became a familiar sight for Diluc from then on as much as he didn’t want to.

The next time you meet is in the bachelor party, whereas the two of you started to get to know each other more. You’re pleasant and smooth to talk with, and there was never a moment where the two of you felt off with your conversation despite some differences with opinions and ideas – at least, that’s what he feels – and bonded a lot on how you two have a lot in common. 

You’re not afraid to speak your thoughts and even laughed at some words he said that were unintentionally a joke. Even though you now know of his achievements and reputation, you still treated him the same, which is something that made him feel pleasant. Even more so when you praised him for being such “a cool multitasker” as you watch him make drinks and serve them throughout your conversation with each other. 

He can’t help but be reminded of his father, and yet for some reason, he didn’t feel remorse from that.

He’d never thought he’d click with someone, let alone having a conversation that could last forever, like he did with you. Interacting with you feels like he doesn’t have to be so uptight and has to keep up with the formalities – especially after convincing him that he doesn’t have to do so – and he’s free to say his thoughts.

When you decide to stop your conversation for a moment and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, Diluc tries not to show the disappointment in his eyes and words. It’s strange to him, why is he so disappointed? You’ll come back anyway just like you said. 

As he waits and waits, he earns himself a new company.

Kamisato Ayato is… One secretive and mysterious man. It’s not something Diluc is suspicious of, really. If anything, the two of them have a few things in common, such as their shared determination in protecting the people they care for, their shared experiences of being the CEO at such a young age, their shared experiences of losing their parents–

As well as messing with the Fatui.

Diluc isn’t so surprised with the fact that the other is aware of his dangerous situation with the organization, but he was surprised that the groom had to send him a warning about being careful with how he spends time with you, who is still in the bathroom doing only Celestia knows what. 

His warning alone made the bartender wake up from his daze, and he faced the reality he had always hated. 

You can’t be involved with someone like him, a man whose hands have been dirtied and committed things that he dares not to explain. 

Once you’re entangled with him, you’ll simply be yet another person he has to protect from the Fatui and the burdens of only simply being his friend. Although he’s more than capable of dealing with the Fatui, he knows that spending time with you will only make things hard for you. 

Not to mention how people would react if they see you spending time with Diluc, and only Celestia can tell how drastic the rumors can be once this spreads around, so Ayato is indeed right, he should leave you alone. 

He does not acknowledge how such thought aches his chest deeply.

Still, he knows that ignoring you wouldn’t do anything but cause problems, so he tells himself that it’s up to you if you still want to spend time with him. 

And it seems you do, especially the next day after that.

The CEO was surprised to see you entering Angel’s Share, especially since the wedding is today. What surprised him more was when he realized just how much he missed you – or talking to you rather. 

What a strange feeling… 

As he continues doing his job, he can’t help but observe you from afar; a habit that he does at times during his shifts here whenever an unfamiliar customer visits the establishment but unlike everyone he observes, he doesn’t observe you out of suspicion that you have something up your sleeve. You looked like you’re enjoying your time with your few friends, something that made him quite happy to see (even though one of your friends is someone who’s rather a hassle in his establishment when he feels like it). 

He feels all the more pleasant when you decide to chat with him for a bit as though you’re old time friends, not realizing that he may or may not have slipped up a few words that he didn’t really mean, making you assume that he’s just there for the wedding to serve his finest drinks. 

It’s only a matter of time until Diluc realizes what he was doing, especially when he finds himself looking at your way unintentionally. You just look so out of place in Angel’s Share in such a good way that his eyes are drawn to you, like how a moth can’t help but be captivated by a shining light.

It comforted him to see you being relaxed in his establishment – be it because he’s happy to see his customers satisfied or because you’re happy – and he wanted to let it stay that way, especially when he has a few guesses on why you were saddened whenever the groom of the wedding is around. 

When he catches on to the fact that you’re also staring at him, he can’t help but feel conscious about himself, thinking about how he mixes his drinks, how he positions himself by the bar, or how he talks to his fellow customers politely, he wonders what you think about what he’s doing even if it’s the simplest of gestures. 

…Is this really something friends think of about each other? 

By the time it’s time for you and your two friends to leave in order to get ready for the wedding, Diluc couldn’t help but feel disappointed, wanting to say more to you but couldn’t. 

However, when you take one more look at him while he’s staring at you as well, and give him an acknowledged nod with that smile of yours; he knows the two of you will eventually talk again and catch up once more.

For some reason, he’s looking forward to the wedding more than ever. 

By the time he makes it to the wedding, he was a bit surprised to see that the ceremony hasn’t commenced yet. His surprise instantly disappears when his eyes land on you, who looks as though you’re looking for someone. Could it be him, he hopes? 

Thankfully, luck was on Diluc’s side. Seeing how there’s one more seat that’s empty beside yours, he slowly makes his way over to you to sit on that empty chair. When he sits down, you instantly look at him and your eyes brighten. 

Him noticing you being excited from simply seeing him made the wine tycoon feel.. Something. Important? Valued? He isn’t sure anymore, he’s at a loss for words when it comes to you.

Truly, this must be something friends have sometimes. 

As he watches the wedding ceremony commence, he can’t help but feel as if someone’s watching him from behind. This caused him to cautiously turn around for a bit, only to find the father of the bride glaring at his direction, but not at him it seems. 

He then realizes that the father of the bride was glaring at you.

Diluc couldn’t help but feel protective, internally taking note to watch the current CEO of the Chisato company should he plan to do something to you. 

When the wedding went on to the reception, it seems luck is still on Diluc’s side. When he arrives at his assigned table by looking for his name displayed on the seats, he spots your name on the seat that’s next to his once again. 

It made him feel relieved, knowing that he won’t be sitting next to those who would most likely talk to him in hopes of gaining opportunity to have the CEO’s attention and support in their businesses and whatnot. 

When you find out as well, you’re pleasantly surprised, but nevertheless happy with the arrangement. If anything, it gives you a chance to continue your previous conversation with your friend! 

Throughout the party, the two of you bonded more and are closer than ever. Diluc really couldn’t recall when’s the last time he had a conversation like this. It really feels as if he could never get tired of talking with you and won’t run out of topics to talk about. 

His highlights of your conversation are the times when you laugh at his words, when you listen to him with an awe look on your face, and when you talk so passionately about the things you love. 

Diluc particularly admires how you talk about your beloved nation, Inazuma. You talk as if Inazuma is your child, and you’re a parent who’s proud of it. Not only did you tell him the things that you love about it, but also showed him just how much you missed your home with the longing look on your face. Considering how long you haven’t visited the nation ever since you went to Liyue, he can understand the feeling. 

Someday, he’d like to go there with you… Maybe then you’ll be happier than you are now, and he wants to see that in his own eyes.

After you explained all there is to know about Inazuma, Dilic then shares his own words about his nation in return. He talks about the things that he thinks you might like about his land, only to find that you love everything about Mondstadt and explain how much you love the place, telling him how you’ve always wanted to go to Mondstadt because of its carefree nature and kind people. It was something that Diluc isn’t surprised by – he’s used to many foreigners he had talked to telling him about how wonderful Mondstadt is – and yet, he feels his heart warming hearing such compliments about his home from you. 

While he was explaining though, he can’t help but notice how you’re somewhat.. distracted, as if your thoughts drifted off to something, causing him to feel a bit concerned. Are you bored from his explanation? Did he say something wrong? Or.. Is it because of Ayato? 

When he asked you if you’re alright, you only responded that you’re distracted by the sight of the garden that surrounds the open-air room. He wasn’t convinced obviously, but seeing how you don’t want to admit the real reason, he knows not to push you for it and respect your privacy. 

However, asking you somehow got him to spend time with you in the hotel’s garden. 

Diluc could see why the garden is one of the hotel’s best spots for guests. It’s as magical and peaceful as what most people described. 

And yet, he can’t help but think that this place is all the more magical and special when you’re here with him. 

“It’s so beautiful..!” You comment in pure awe. If you at least glance at where Diluc is, you would’ve realized that he isn’t staring at the view of the garden that is indeed beautiful.

“Indeed.” He quietly agrees, his gaze never left you. 

…

Diluc feels his shoulders sinking a bit. Friends don’t think of each other this way, don’t they?

…

As the two of you stroll around the garden, Diluc covers topics regarding the flowers that surround the two of you and about other things, all the while you listen with great eagerness. 

It was only when he started talking about his first drink when he realized something. 

How long has it been since he talked to someone about his father? Let alone his past?

Was he really that comfortable talking to you to the point where he’s willing to share the things he never thought he’d talk about with someone? 

He was sincerely taken back that he didn’t watch his step and accidentally stumbled from a bump on the pathway. 

…How embarrassing!

His thoughts from before instantly fade away, replaced by how embarrassed he is from the situation he put himself in. It was impressive how you managed to pull him back from falling, had it not been for your strength, he would’ve been even more embarrassed from falling down to the ground completely. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the only embarrassing incident that occurred between the two of you. One thing led to one another, and suddenly he finds you hugging his arm out of fear from the sudden appearance of your plus one. 

Diluc felt like he was frozen the moment he felt your touch on him. He didn’t know what to do really, especially when you’re holding onto him as if your life depends on it. It was only by the time you let him go when he felt like he could breathe, watching you walk away first to get back to the venue.

Despite letting him go, he still feels the ghost of your touch. 

–

It seems the night is still young for you and Diluc. 

After the reception, the two of you proceeded to explore around Mondstadt City together to hang out more. But this particular night brought the man to something more than just a hangout. 

The more the both of you continue to spend time together, the more Diluc feels more confused, maybe even worried, about his thoughts and feelings towards you. He doesn’t know who you are to him if not a friend. If you’re indeed just a friend, then why does he feel like it’s more than just? If not a friend, then what? 

Deep inside, a small part of him already knows the answer to his worries and thoughts. 

So when he sees you talking with someone who interrupted your hangout with him, an unpleasant feeling creeps up on him, especially when it turns out that the stranger is someone you’re familiar with. 

He hasn’t felt jealous for a long time until now. 

Just the thought of you being with someone else made him feel unpleasant, and he isn’t sure what to do with it. He could only watch as you happily chatted with Heizou, his mind clouded with conflicts and realizations. 

Diluc realizes that his feelings towards you are something serious. This isn’t a mere admiration and fondness that will go away in a blink of an eye, but the kind of admiration and fondness that made him want more. 

What hurts is that he knows he can’t have that. Not when his life is too complicated to have the happiness he wants to have more with you, not when his life is as dangerous as it can be to have the peacefulness he wants to share with you, and certainly not when he’s sure you don’t feel the same feelings that he feels for you. 

Yes, Diluc finally admitted it. He wants you to be more than his friend. He wants you to be more than just someone who he sees on a daily basis, but someone who he sees when he wakes up to another day, someone who he sees when he’s all dressed up with gifts for yet another memorable date night, someone who understands him more than he understands himself, someone who he kisses goodnight before sleeping away next to each other, someone who he will cherish with all his heart without hesitation, 

Someone who he loves just as soulmates do. 

But he knows that it’s far out of his reach. 

What hurts more is how the two of you won’t be able to see each other soon, and none of you are sure when you’ll be able to.

…It’s for the best, he thinks. 

The morning after, he received a phone call from Kaeya.

“How was the wedding? Any juicy drama that I should know of?” He asks. 

“It was… not bad.” He replies. “I made friends with someone.”

“Wow, there’s actually a person who doesn’t mind Mr. Grumpy? Let me guess, it’s that foreigner you bumped into, isn’t it? ( Name ), right?” 

Diluc lets out a sigh, already knowing where this is going. “Yes, it’s them.” 

“Ohoho, now I’m curious to know more about them. You better introduce me to that friend of yours when I visit there.” 

His eyebrows raised up in surprise. “You’ll visit here today?”

“Yeah, I’ll be able to come to the hotel today to congratulate the couple. Don’t keep your new friend away from me when I get there, yeah?” 

Diluc scoffs. “As if they would want to be involved with someone like you.” 

“You wounded me! Who wouldn’t want to be involved with the person who grandmothers consider as the top candidate for grandson-in-law?” 

“Whatever you say. Don’t try to get lost in the streets.” 

“Ugh, that was only one time – and in my defense, I was drunk. See you there, Diluc.” 

And just like that, the call ended. 

Diluc puts his phone down with a sigh. He prays that Kaeya actually does get lost and won’t be able to see you. Only Barbatos knows what that man is going to do if he ever finds out about his feelings for you. 

Unfortunately, that was today’s least of his concerns. 

He can’t help but notice how a few Fatui members have been around the hotel lately. Usually he ignores them if it weren’t for how.. often he sees them today. Is it perhaps related to a certain higher up who wants to buy the hotel? 

Or.. is it related to a scheme he has yet to know about?

He thinks about it deeply to the point where he even spaced out a bit while talking to you in the garden as you wait for your friend.

He eventually finds out what the Fatui were up to when he decided to contact one of his associates in the underground network. 

“The people you’ve been seeing are under the security branch of the Fatui, so it’s evident that someone must’ve hired them for something they’re planning to do that needs to be under wraps. We’ll let you know if we happen to find out who’s their employer and whether or not you should intervene.” His informant tells him through the phone as Diluc continues to stand around the lobby waiting for Kaeya, eyeing on the Fatui guards carefully from afar. 

He didn’t have to wait for long on who’s the employer of the Fatui guards.

As soon as he kept his phone away after the phone call, he noticed the father of the bride walking around the lobby with a couple of the Fatui following him. He raises an eyebrow at the sight of the guards walking in a certain formation as though they’re surrounding someone–

Only for his heart to drop when he sees you among said guards.

What are they doing with you?

He then remembers how Shinsuke was glaring at you at the wedding ceremony back then, causing him to conclude that it must’ve been related to whatever’s going on with you and Ayato. 

He didn’t hesitate to start following them in hopes of getting you out of there safely, only to lose sight of you when a lot of people suddenly entered the lobby.

He quietly curses at himself in irritation as he tries to walk through the busy crowd, hoping that he’ll still be able to see you once he’s out of there. 

When he doesn't see you, he feels like he’s about to burn this place down. 

Please be alright, he thinks as he runs around the lobby like a madman, looking at every hallway to see a glimpse of you or your captors who seem to have more than just ill intentions towards you. It feels like he’s back in the incident where his father died as he feels the same thing that his younger self felt. Helplessness and fear of losing his loved one.

Fortunately, it was only a matter of time when he spotted the familiar Fatui guards standing in front of a door, holding what appears to be the very same bag that he saw you carrying at the garden earlier. 

He didn’t hesitate to go towards where they were, causing the guards to notice him at last and be alerted. 

“Sir, you’re not allowe–”

“I don’t care.”

As minutes passed, not one single person among the busy crowds in the lobby noticed the unconscious guards around the secluded hallway, with a tall man standing in the middle of the aftermath of his anger. 

As soon as Diluc finishes dealing with the Fatui guards, he immediately grabs your bag before reaching out to the closed room to open it. 

His heart drops at the sight of Shinsuke’s raised hand towards you. 

Hold yourself, he orders to himself, not wanting to throw hands towards the man who was planning to hurt you, who seems to be frightened but relieved to see Diluc. 

He puts on his calm facade. “Was I interrupting something?” 

It wasn’t hard to get Shinsuke out of the room and get you to safety, by the time he did, his heart breaks at the sight of you being all shaken up from whatever the older man did to you before he could arrive. 

This is an example of what will happen if they’re with me, Diluc thought as he tries to comfort you. He knows that even though your situation right now has nothing to do with him, you’ll get more situations like this if you’re with him, making him realize that even if he’s not an engaged man, he knows he still can’t have you. Not when it’s a risk to even be with him. 

He just wishes you to be safe and happy, but it hurts that it’s not something you’ll get from him. 

That’s why when you mentioned the airport, he felt sad from the fact that he won’t be able to see you after a while. By the time this wedding is over, he’ll go back to the same cycle he lived with ever since he came back to Mondstadt. He won’t be able to wonder what’s to come for him tomorrow, what topic you’ll be talking about with him, and he certainly won’t be able to see you at all for only Celestia knows how long. 

He then wondered if you two will ever contact each other after this. As much as it sounds selfish of him, he didn’t want that to happen, not when he feels this content with you. There’s no one who could laugh at the jokes he unintentionally makes, who would tease him enough to make him a bit flustered and smile, who could talk with him about anything for hours on end, 

There’s no one out there who’s like you. 

But he knows that he can’t make you stay, not when you have your own life to live. 

Perhaps… Perhaps things can be different if the world is safer. If his life isn’t as dangerous as it can be thanks to the Fatui, who dared to lay their hands on you for the sake of a greedy man such as Shinsuke.

Maybe… If fate allows so, maybe in the future, when things possibly change for the better, then perhaps you and Diluc could be something more than friends.

It’s just wishful thinking though.

He didn’t hesitate to take the opportunity to come with you to the airport so he could personally bid you farewell. To his relief, you were happy to have him coming with you as well as reaching out to him once you come back home. 

He wishes this week could last forever. 

Hours later, he finds himself staring at the ceiling while lying down on his bed. Meanwhile, Kaeya is on his own bed that’s next to his while applying skincare on his face as he rants on and on about whatever’s going on around the FPD. 

He wonders what could’ve been if his life wasn’t so complicated and dangerous. He wonders what could’ve been if it were you who he gets to call his spouse and the one he gets to consider as his partner and equal. He wonders what could’ve been if he wasn’t such a coward. 

He wonders if you think of him the way he thinks of you. 

.

.

.

You realize that suppressing your feelings is not the way of moving on. 

Love hurts. Thinking of the past hurts. You realize that Diluc is just someone who helped you with your confrontation towards the past you so wanted to forget because of the pain it brings, but he’s not the one who can completely help you heal. 

By the end of the day, it’s you alone who can heal yourself.

You knew that you can’t admit your feelings to Diluc just yet, and you know it’s best this way – after all, you still have to take time focusing on yourself first now that you took a big step from your burdens. 

You just hope that by the time you’re ready to deal with being in a relationship, you wish that person who you’ll be with is Diluc. 

You find yourself lying down on your bed as you scroll through your photo gallery, finally looking back at the memories that you shared with Ayato, with your friends, and with yourself. It’s been so long since you’ve looked at them that you almost forgot some of the moments that made you happy. 

It took a while until you finally decided to call it a night, turning off your phone and placing it on the nightstand next to your bed before trying to sleep.

You hope you’ll be able to see Diluc again and spend time with him one last time. Maybe you two could go eat at Good Hunter’s together, take another stroll around the hotel’s garden and talk about Inazuma’s flowers this time, or even–

Ah, you feel so in love. 

You let out a quiet dreamy sigh with a smile, excited for what’s to come tomorrow. 

Now that you mentioned Inazuma, you couldn’t help but wonder when you’ll be able to visit your homeland again.. 

You close your eyes. Perhaps Ei won’t mind if I request for a transfer someday. 

PENPALS. @scaraslover @saving-for-xiao @dawgimsohot @ragnvdnr @chiruru @aqualesha @renamichii @mrkamisato @shenhesl0ver @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @ladycoleigh @034ven @dear-dairiess @owozi8 @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @flowersforayato @headintheclouddd @estelwrld @giyusimpsassemble @irethepotatosblog @moonlightaangel @alice0blog @shotosbrainrot @sniffoat @chihawari @mxsomn @kuni-kuzushii @jiminscarmex @mitsukii14 @nejibot @ylimeprive @sachispet @loreleis-world @sn-owo @starforecasts @someonetookmynamelmao @ceylestia @lychme @ymikkos @reallysporadicarcade @melodyyamino @dudufodd @somberrock @yevenly @lemontum @nghing @elychee @astrxlis @denkineptune @franini @sophisticatedleslie @thedivinepriestress @smashsubs @httpmitsuya @bl6o6dy @cottonkendi (come visit this post if you’d like to be tagged!)

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[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

I always said I'd never post anything like this when I was actually active on this blog as I didn't want to start drama but you know what, screw it, I'm not here anymore and I'm tired of staying silent on this.

The way some of the fandom treats Yui is absolutely nuts.

And no, I'm not talking about people who call Yui "weak" or who get jealous over her situation (that's a whole other can of worms), I am talking about the other obsessive fans.

I'll start off by saying I am not saying all Yui fans are bad (some are delightful) but I swear she also manages to attract some of the most unhinged people I've encountered on the internet.

I can't even begin to name all the posts I've seen defending her and arguing against anyone who would call her weak or criticise her in any way etc. And while I know there certainly are people who call her weak or fanfictions where she acts as a love rival for one of the boys versus an OC or reader character, I've actually seen far less of those posts than ones defending her, to an almost problematic degree. Like I literally once saw a post where someone was genuinely telling people to kill themselves because they were treating Yui badly in fanfiction and like what the actual fuck?

I personally have no gripes with Yui as a character. She's written to be exactly what the story needed, and if you like kind cinnamon roll characters, she definitely falls into that category, but people don't have to like characters just because they're good people.

In the same way, the diaboys are all terrible to some extent and if they were real people, you wouldn't want anything to do with them. However, I would argue all of them are well-thought out characters with interesting backstories that clearly tie into who they are by the time the series starts. An immoral character =/= a badly written character in the same way a moral character =/= a well written character.

Now I'm not trying to say Yui is a badly written character, as I mentioned above, I think she fits the role she needed to in DL perfectly, but I do think people need to stop treating her like literal perfection at the expense of actual real human beings. I'll admit, I have seen people dislike Yui for immature reasons, but you can't have a go at people for not liking a fictional character.

I know, and have seen, some people argue that your attitude towards Yui reflects your attitude towards rl abuse survivors and just no. That's not how that works. If someone is reading an account of actual abuse and starts victim blaming that's one thing but DL is NOT REAL and it was never meant to be an allegory about abuse or abusive relationships, it's made for people who are horny about vampires. That's it. There is no deeper meaning. I cannot emphasise this enough.

I think if there's any real point here, it's that if some of these fans genuinely value morality and goodness as much as they claim, they would take a good look in the mirror at how they treat real people. If you love Yui so much, use her an example (i.e. being nice), not some icon to beat people over the head with. And people liking and enjoying the darker aspects of DL doesn't make them bad people in the same way watching a horror film doesn't make you a future serial killer.

Anyway thank you for coming to my TED talk. Again, I am not talking about all Yui fans, just the worst ones I've seen. And to be fair a lot of the points I've made here are true for rabid diaboy fans as well. At the end of the day, it's how you treat other people, not fictional characters, that matters.

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

Writing Redemption in Your Fanfics

If you’ve followed either of my blogs, you’d know that I despise Katsuki’s “redemption story”. It’s poorly written and poorly paced.

Sadly, canon isn’t the only place where an attempt at a redemption story is botched. Fanfiction sometimes has equally worse takes on how his redemption story should go.

I wanna talk about one fic in particular. I’m not going to name it, but y’all can probably guess what fanfic I’m talking about because it’s a very famous one.

The fic has one of the most promising starts to a “Katsuki faces consequences” fic: Izuku decides to abandon Katsuki during the Final Exam, and after his teachers show disappointment in him, he snaps, tells them how they’ve failed him, and calls Katsuki a villain. Izuku mentions how he wants to leave U.A, Nezu asks for a second chance, and Izuku accepts.

Sadly, the ball’s immediately dropped upon reaching the second chapter. Katsuki received no consequences other than counseling (which again isn’t a consequence) and without any buildup they have him apologize to Izuku. Furthermore, they start shifting the blame away from Katsuki to his mother for “abusing him”. This I’m shaky about. On one hand, exploring why someone is the way they are can make for some great character writing. On the other hand, the way it’s done here is that it completely changes one character to make the other look better. I’m all for changing a character’s backstory but these fics try to be character studies and when you’re doing a character study you can’t suddenly change one character to make another look sympathetic. Finally, the fic villainizes any character who doesn’t immediately forgive Katsuki. The main example here is Ochako who refuses to let Katsuki anywhere near Izuku. This right here bothers me. Just because Katsuki’s reforming doesn’t mean anyone’s obligated to give him a chance, especially when they’re an abuser of Katsuki’s caliber. You can recognize someone is changing/has changed while also not forgiving them. Demonizing Ochako for not forgiving Katsuki and for protecting her friend sends a terrible message to readers. No one is obligated to forgive Katsuki.

Now I wanna turn my attention to a fic called Confession by Scandinavian Sensation over on Fanfiction.net. If there’s any fic that shows a good Katsuki redemption it’s this one. It starts off with some of 1-A witnessing Izuku having nightmares during a sleepover. Soon after, due to Izuku mumbling in his sleep, they learn Katsuki bullied Izuku. The consequences are swift with the entire class shunning him. Katsuki’s forced to go to counseling, but it’s not treated as a punishment. It is a requirement for him to stay in the Hero Course, but a requirement is different than a punishment. Izuku’s confused as to why no one’s hanging out with Katsuki and feels bad about it. He tries getting Ejiro to go back to being Katsuki’s friend, but Ejiro hits him with a fantastic question: “why did he do it?” As this is going on, Katsuki’s being forced to confront his ego, temper, and past actions while also asking himself the question “why did he do it?” The fic ends with a beautiful rewrite of Kacchan vs Deku 2, where Katsuki desperately tries grappling with the question, is consumed by guilt, and tries to apologize to Izuku. Unlike the first fic, this one doesn’t involve demonizing other characters to make Katsuki look sympathetic, especially since it treats 1-A shunning Katsuki as something they’re allowed to do. This fic dishes out great consequences for his behavior and treats therapy as a means of him coming to terms with his own actions. Finally, it deconstructs Katsuki’s and Izuku’s characters while offering comfort to Izuku and opening the way to a possible redemption arc for Katsuki that feels organic and earned. It’s a fic I can honestly say that both Katsuki fans and haters can enjoy and it’s imo the best case study of Katsuki out that that maintains a neutral tone. If you wanna read the fic, here it is:

In conclusion, if you’re going to write a Katsuki redemption arc, you have to have consequences, you can’t demonize other characters to make him look better (especially when they don’t wanna give him a second chance), and you can’t make excuses for Katsuki’s behavior.

[artbyblastweave]

There are a lot of ways in which Bonesaw seems to be in conversation with Harley Quinn. They’re both blonde, perky minions with an exaggerated affect and an affinity for black comedy, the girl-fridays to their respective society-dwelling chaotic-evil middle-aged masterminds. Both of them have sympathetic backstories in which they were brought to their current sorry state through deft and continual emotional abuse and/or torture. Both of them are painted as arguably more competent and creative than their respective bosses, and both of them ultimately receive redemptive arcs in which they rediscover their sense of personal agency and get out from under the thumb of their abuser. And neither of them has a valid license to practice medicine.

One thing I don’t see brought up a lot, though, is that Harley Quinn as she’s currently written and marketed is already subverting and deconstructing a character archetype- namely, that of Harley Quinn. She was originally introduced as a relatively flat and uncomplicated minion of The Joker, for a gendered sight gag they didn’t even go through with in the final cut of the episode. She verged on being a stock character. I’ve always parsed Mad Love, the comic/episode that fleshed out her backstory, as the writers subsequently sitting down and seriously considering the whole moll archetype; asking themselves how someone ends up the sidekick of someone like The Joker, and how dysfunctional that relationship would be behind closed doors. Harley Quinn is already thoroughly subverting Harley Quinn, to the extent that it’s now possible to go your whole life without consuming any Batman media that contains the original dynamic being subverted.

So what Bonesaw is doing is that she takes that subversion and cranks it up a notch. Bonesaw is a version of Harley Quinn who, in my opinion, is vastly more sympathetic than Harley herself, but she also (very reasonably!) gets handed much less of a pass by the narrative despite this.

Harley was a grown woman with a doctorate. Bonesaw was Six. Harley breached professional ethics by becoming involved with her patient. Bonesaw was Six. Harley (I think @zoobus brought this up recently and got me thinking about this) was, as the Joker’s doctor, and thus at least initially was the more powerful party in regards to the power imbalance. Bonesaw was six. 

But! Despite the fact that Bonesaw was six, and was dealt an unabashedly terrible hand, the redemption arc is significantly more uphill because she, you know, she did torture and murder scores and scores of people in the most horrifying ways possible! And at a certain point issues of culpability have to take a back-seat to questions like “Are we physically capable of stopping her if she changes her mind and starts doing this again?” Pound-for-Pound I’m pretty sure she’s much worse in terms of raw bodycount than Harley Quinn, regardless of how much choice they each had in the matter. No real way to elide that. No marketing-based impetus for the author to do so.

Her redemption arc doesn’t happen because people within the setting idealistically recognize her as an abused child who’s deserving of a second chance on principle; instead they get her in their custody, they need something from her, and extend her the courtesy of not killing her because that’s the only way to get what they need. They never trust her; they never will trust her, (I personally don’t feel like they’re under any obligation to ever trust her) and her readmission to society is so knifes-edge conditional that from her perspective it was only barely worth it to return to the fold. She is not happier for her decision. There’s no just-so story about how doing good makes everyone forgive you and become your friend, or at least become cautiously indifferent to you. This is, like, the most cynical, harsh and bitter redemption arc possible. And in spite of all this, there’s also a level on which Bonesaw is lucky, because her “redemption arc” is so mechanistic; so dependent on timing and circumstance, on people needing something from her instead of just killing her, on being young enough that “she never had a chance to be anything else” is an argument that lands with people despite being also reasonably true for a lot of adult supervillains who got fucked over as early and as hard as she did. 

This has been sitting in my drafts long enough that I don’t have a good sense of what the final takeaway should be, so I’ll just end with this- Bonesaw’s situation, as melancholy and cynical as it makes me feel, is definitely in line with one of the big recurring beats of the book- that regardless of questions of what one deserves, you get away with a lot if you have something to offer and if you play ball. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Taylor’s visit to Sophia in prison comes right on the tail of the Bonesaw sequence; Shadow Stalker could have gotten better, if anyone had cared enough to put in the legwork, and probably could have done so with much less work than Bonesaw. But nobody entertained that idea, because at a certain point she stopped being worth it. And Taylor, who probably did do a lot more harm to a lot more people just because she was running free for longer, gets a seat at the table because she made herself useful, and a charitable assessment from the fandom because we live in her head. And after a sufficiently long bout of fruitless plate-spinning and sin-weighing, kindness and mercy and the extension of second chances inevitably come out in the wash, as a knot-cutting measure if nothing else.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Anonymous said:

do you have any advice on writing character motives and backstories? all of my characters either have motivations that are too extreme when their stories are taken into view, or their backstories feel laughable and it makes their motives look ridiculous

My snap answer is “Lean into the extreme-ness and have it be part of the character”. My more detailed answer is thus:

A character’s motivation is the most important aspect about them, because a character that is not motivated is a character that doesn't want to do anything and it's hard to write a character who doesn't want to do anything.

Making Comics, by Scott McCloud

So, while I suppose it's possible there are excesses, I would say that giving your character a strong motivation is worth giving them an outsized backstory to fit. If you're writing a series about solving mysteries and your main character doesn't want to solve mysteries, then you'll have to keep coming up with excuses to make the plot happen. So, one way of writing character motivations is "I want the character to do X and if the character also wants to do X it'll be easier to write".

When I wrote Legend of the Hare, the idea was that Jill would join up with the rabbits right away and we'd be off into Magical Girl Adventures, but when I was actually writing the pages (which I was doing as the chapter was being written, which is a terrible habit), I realized that I couldn't come up with a good reason for Jill to agree to join the rabbit war, so....she didn't. I got her super drunk and sent her home with a weird new tattoo and basically had to start the comic over until she had a reason to sign up and we could start the plot. I think I did an okay job of making it all look planned, but I basically threw out my entire outline for the entire comic because my protagonist wouldn't go along with it.

In Saffron and Sage, which is in many ways a reaction to Legend of the Hare, Saffron's motivation is clear from literally the first panel of the first page. I have thus never, in nearly 200 pages, sat around trying to figure out what Saffron would do. But this created its own problems, which is that Saffron's entire motivation wasn't really "established" so much as "thrown out offhandedly" for the sake of having a cool in media res opening chapter. It wasn't clear why Saffron was so invested in rescuing Faunus, and I got enough feedback that I eventually did a flashback chapter that I'm not super happy with but c'est la vie.

So those are the two lessons I've learned. Your character should want to do the thing you want them to be doing, and there should be some definition for why they want that. Sometimes the "why" is pretty obvious

And sometimes it needs a bit more meat.

(Another aspect that's important, though, is that motivations often drift over the course of a character's arc. Indeed, the most famous kind of character arc out there is the Pixar "want vs need" style, where a character's initial motivation is "bad" and they get a "better" one after they grow as a person, but the initial motivation is the one driving most of the plot)

And it's sort of difficult for me to answer your question of "how to establish backstories for motivations" when I don't know what your characters' motivations are meant to be, but lets use the example of a high school romantic love quadrangle, since those are often kind of silly. Here's a basic setup

Sweet Dear Innocent Melody, the protagonist, is in love with Chad Footbalman, the quarterback. But Chad is in a somewhat dramatic and troubled relationship with That Skank Felicity, who is way hotter than Melody and also the villain. Meanwhile, local nerd The Virgin Simp keeps flirting with Melody, who rejects him. Melody will do the generic teen movie makeover thing to get Chad's attention but eventually he'll realize he loves her for who she is. Our planned endgame is that Melody and Chad get together, and Simp improbably hooks up with Felicity, so everyone ends up happy. Very generic teen movie plot. (It's also a very straight one, but shh)

Just from this setup of point A to point B, some potential motivations start to come out of the void. Felicity is hotter than Melody, and we know that Simp's happy ending is getting with Felicity. So Simp's motivation can be "wants to touch boobs". He's kind of a creep and a big part of why he's harassing Melody is that he thinks she's "achievable". We want him to be unlikable (so that Melody doesn't look bad for rejecting his advances), but not so much that the audience wants him dead or anything. We don't wanna go full Mineta here. He can also be the one who gives Melody the fashion tips to get a proper makeover, since he's been studying hot girls enthusiastically.

....Actually, having the dude who's super about wanting to have sex with women also inexplicably being an expert in women's fashion is a very stereotypical "closeted gay dude pair" of traits, which is a possible different ending. Hm. Lets table that thought for a minute.

So Melody wants Chad. That's easy enough, you don't even necessarily need to explain it in more detail than that. Why does Melody want Chad? Is it because he's a handsome jock and she has more in common with Simp that she wants to admit? Well, the story is "She tries to get a makeover and Chad loves her as she is", so Melody's character arc is learning to believe in herself. It's not a story about learning to see the inner beauty of other people. She knows that Chad's actually a cool dude and not just a handsome jock, she sees the real Chad etc. She saw Chad, like, pet a bird or something and now she's head-over-heels for him. We don't need an elaborate backstory here.

Chad wants Melody but he doesn't know it yet, so he starts off wishing his girlfriend was [character trait here], which just so happens to describe Melody. He really wants to start a ska band and wishes he knew a trumpet player who shared his love of ska, which just so happens to describe Melody, sure. The ska obsession doesn't have to be revealed early on, it can be a twist that's revealed around the point he and Melody start connecting.

Chad's basically just Sami Zayn

So, when I started writing this, my idea was that That Skank Felicity wanted someone to wait on her hand and foot, which is an "evil" motivation that'd make Simp the perfect boyfriend for her in a Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband" kind of way, but then I decided that Simp's aggressively horny because he doesn't want to admit something about himself, so the planned ending doesn't fit the motivation I came up with. I could change Simp's motivation to have him be straight, or change the planned ending, but let's see if we can't come up with a way to square the two ideas...hm...

Okay, got it. Felicity is super into the tradwife aesthetic. She wants to look and live a certain way, and she doesn't care about Chad as a person at all, she just wants to have a quarterback boyfriend because it's part of The Aesthetic and she cares about The Aesthetic to an extreme degree. She's the villain in a cheesy rom-com, she's allowed to be kind of ludicrous like that. Plus it fits into our theme of "looks aren't important it's what's inside that counts" to have a villain who's obsessed with looking a certain way. And then she can be catty about the makeover outfit Simp made for Melody, and Simp and Felicity can have like an entire enemies-to-lovers arc in five minutes. Boom. Okay. And then Simp realizes she's trans and Felicity's all "The only thing better than ONE hot 1950s housewife..." and they start dating.

Now we have our motivations:

Melody wants Chad (and needs to learn the self-confidence to get him) Chad wants a ska enthusiast Felicity wants to live the aesthetic of a stereotypical hot girl So does Simp, who is a trans girl spending most of the story as an in-denial egg, which is a bit of representation I wasn't actually planning to put into this story (Maybe, um, we change the name) but it fits all the needs of what the character has to do.

And that very long tangent is kind of how the thought process works. What needs to happen in the story? What motivations get me there? Are there any unexpected details of the motivations and do I like them enough to put them in the story? Those kinds of questions can be really helpful, especially early on when all you've got is a doodle of your OC and a dream.

Off to visit their girlfriends

[bettsfic]

possibly dumb question but… what exactly is structural editing and how do you do it? i assume it’s shifting the order of stuff around in a draft but how do you do that to end up with a cohesive story that flows in the end? it sounds very daunting!

not a dumb question at all!

structure is, at its core, the organization of a story. for the most part, stories are organized chronologically. we are given information in the order of time passing, and often at the same time the narrator experiences it.

if your story is chronological, structural editing will mostly involve major turning points for the story, ensuring that your tension (even if it is a very loose tension) is escalating. for the most part, writers focus on the escalation of external events while drafting, but the internal escalation sometimes needs to be reorganized or totally re-envisioned. your narrator's epiphany lands after the sequence of events that would prompt that epiphany. i know i have a terrible habit of making my characters realize important things far too early, and in revisions i have to move that realization later, which, yes, involves cutting and pasting and changing the order of things, but also affects the narration based on what the character does not yet know, and sometimes even the action of the story.

so it's cyclical logic in that way, which is why revision can be so hard and frustrating: if you change the character's inner growth, that may affect their actions in the story. if you change their actions in the story, it may affect the rate of their inner growth.

an example is the fanfiction italicized "oh." in other words, the moment your narrator realizes their feelings for their romantic interest. let's say in drafting, you put it in the climax. the narrator spends the story grappling with their feelings, then realizing them, acting on them, and then the romance culminates in a confession and/or a kiss and/or sex, and the story ends.

but how would their behavior change if "oh" was the inciting incident of the story? if they figure it out during the exposition, or maybe even before the story begins, and spend the rest of the story pining, with some other conflict keeping them from expressing their feelings?

very often my developmental edits for people involve something like, "your resolution is the inciting incident of the story you're really trying to tell," which no one ever wants to hear. but it's a good practice when pre-writing to ask yourself if the end of the story you're trying to write is actually the end of the backstory.

drafting (or what i sometimes call the discovery stage) is the order in which your story arrives on the page, and revision is working with what you've written to figure out the order of what must be known. one of the hardest parts of writing is figuring out what your reader needs to know and when they need to know it in order to have the contextual information and emotional priming of what happens thereafter.

although i do very much love when weird shit happens that makes me go ??? and *then* i'm given context in a form of a reveal, or what i call an illuminating moment that casts light on the previous events of the story. many people mistake this for a "twist," which is when the story sets up an expectation and subverts it meaningfully.

of course, you're not obligated to write chronologically. in fact i don't anymore. i prefer framing devices, long backstories, multiple timelines, and alternating points of view that sometimes overlap in time and space. a lot of writing advice will tell you these things are bad. they're not. they're just hard to pull off, because it requires an extra step: telling yourself the story in the order it comes in, figuring out the cause and effect sequence, fixing the cause and effect sequence, and then figuring out the order you want the information to be revealed in beyond the constraining device of time. never let anyone discourage you from experimenting with structure. it can be fun and challenging as both a writer and a reader.

tl;dr: structural or developmental revision is the process of putting your story in the order of the clearest escalating tension and stakes, both internally and externally, with an eye on the organization of the information revealed in the story as the reader would experience it.

[endiecutieo6]

Finally some art, but also a ramble.

Freddy has some identity issues (haha funny) and while it could be that he’s just written inconsistently (his Twitter replies and his in-game stuff are almost like two different people) I like to think that maybe he doesn’t really know who he is, or is all of that at once.

He’s one of the only characters a part of the main cast who we don’t really get a feeling on what his childhood was like. Emily had a difficult time growing up and so craves consistency and comfort. Emma had a good life starting out, then everything went terribly wrong. Kreacher grew up incredibly poor and had to rely on thievery to get by. Freddy had almost nothing, not even a slight indication of what his life growing up was, and I don’t think it was very good considering just how barely-functional he is. He is impulsive, he is irrational, he is cruel, he is proud, yet he also can be rational, can be patient, has moments where he is almost kind, and seems to have a lot of self loathing. He shows guilt yet also doesn’t, like he can’t decide whether he should feel remorse for he actions or isn’t deciding at all, it’s just whatever state of mind he’s in right now.

We do know he either has a sibling or some other family member, maybe even his father, named Vane (as indicated by one of his letters) but that’s about it. No info on who this person exactly is or what his feeling about them are.

Freddy is a character who is either treated as morally grew or just a villain by his own creators, and it really sucks that him and Kreacher pretty much get fucked in terms of development because they needed Emma and Emily to look better in comparison. They both could have these really interesting backstories and present some things to really think about, especially for kreacher in terms of how the poor are fucked over and are demonized as a result (which is ironic considering he is completely demonized by half the fandom)

If you want to check out Freddy’s Twitter replies, the translated ones are on his wiki page. I’d honestly like to go into more depth about Freddy’s character, but I tend to project so much onto him that it might be a bit uncomfortable. Either way, I just wish the idv devs treated him better.

[fortheloveofarchons]

Nanami Kento, the man with greenest flag to ever exist :D

I just love this man so much like-- As much as I love the jjk cast, Nanami is written to be the most realistic character I've ever seen so far.

Even with his cynical and pragmatism in the beginning, you can slowly see that he truly cares for everyone and always prioritise others more than himself, which could be argued to not a good quality. But as one of the adult characters in a jjk world, it definitely shows that he's not a selfish character who runs away from battle but takes care of others to make sure no one gets hurt even if it meant harming himself in the process.

Admittedly, when I saw him on season one (I didn't watch jjk much just saw clips of it on YouTube), I didn't think much of it but find him very funny in the beginning to see how direct and pessimistic he is. But during the scene when Mahito trapped him in a domain expansion, and the moment they showed his backstory I was hooked about him.

When he took those sunglasses off and showed his face I was like-- Wait, hold up-- He's kinda handsome...

Like-- Okay, I get why people would call Gojo a daddy, but to me he felt more like a goofy uncle and the real father is Nanami.

As I said in my previous posts, father is fathering.

And this father is free therapy.

I'll be a bit personal, during the next few years I got some terrible family news (which made me see a guidance councelor during high school) and had a few guys take advantage of me for academic validation which soon made me had a thing for hot dilfs because of it :D

Don't worry, I'm okay for now. Just that I definitely won't trust guys who act 'genuine' with me and made me feel like I could open up to them.

And I definitely don't wanna date men who have anger issues.

So yeah, when season two rolled in and I finally decided to watch the whole of season one. After watching it, I was completely swooned.

Like, I knew I like him. But when did I start wishing for a man like him? He immediately went from a character I like to a character that I would be emotionally attached too.

Tall, buff, kind, respectful, stern, a foodie, financially stable-- A man like him would definitely scold me when I made a mistake (not in a violent way but in a gentle way) and would tell me how disappointed he is of me. I would then apologise to him, telling him that I won't do it again. And then he'll pat my head and say, "Good girl, I know you can do better."

Swooooonnnn~

...aaannnnd that he's definitely the guy who could rail me well, and then teaches me how to do taxes after that session of railing.

Also, Tsuda Kenjiro's performance as his JP VA immediately had me applauding for his work! He really brought out the best when it came to voicing characters like Nanami. Will be looking forward to more of Tsuda Kenjiro's upcoming projects and works!

Spoilers for Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2 Shibuya Arc:

.

.

.

Okay, but as a Malaysian, I was very happy when he mentioned Malaysia and I was like-- YO??? My country??? Let's gooooooo!!!

But also really heartbreaking... I saw the manga spoilers before season two was announced. And yet, now that I have an emotional attachment to him it really broke me that we lost a lot of favs this season two. I remember crying for about two weeks (it still hurts when I watch that episode) and I made a fanfic about him taking care of Yuji in Jujutsu Kindergarten, where everything is all okay and that Nanami gets himself a love interest.

For those who wanna read that said fanfic for serotonin boosts, it's called "Jujutsu Spiderverse Scrolls" and you can read it on Ao3! Yes, I know the title sounds odd, but I promise you it'll be a serotonin blast!

Don't worry Nanamin, I bought a thirty cm plushie of you so you'll always be in Malaysia relaxing! And a bunch of posters of you, and stickers, and polaroid photos...

Yep, I'm in my hyperfixation moment.

Either way, I'm still glad to have watched this anime. If not, I wouldn't have found a character with the most beautiful soul that I want to protect at all cost.

Rest in Paradise my King.

[prettyboybuckley]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @saybiwithme @bi-buckrights @zainclaw

How many works do you have on ao3?

160

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,070,239

What fandoms do you write for?

I've mostly written for 9-1-1, though I started off with Shameless (6 fics) and I have written some for Teen Wolf (5 fics). There's one 9-1-1 crossover with Schitt's Creek.

Top five fics by kudos:

parents always yelling (telling us to get our acts together)

i just want something to hold on to (and a little of that human touch)

I will come to you (even in my sleep)

open up again (i believe in second chances)

exes and the oh's

Do you respond to comments?

Always, even if it takes me months. I actually just caught up again (there's still a bunch to go, but right now the oldest is 17 days ago instead of 250 days...). It's just a rule I have for myself, and even with the backlog I've kept it up so far, so I'm not going to stop doing it now.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not a big fan of angsty endings, I generally try to at least make it a hopeful ending or, in the case of the college au, use an epilogue to fix things.

But I guess sunny skies & summer highs qualifies as an angsty ending simply because of the cliffhanger (and yes, there is still going to be a continuation, I'm working on it 🙈).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Choosing one out of 160 is really hard, but I think tell me, will you stay or will you run away is definitely one that deserves a mention here, because it already has a happy ending and then the epilogue just makes it even better 🥰

Do you get hate on fics?

Not commented on the fic itself, no. I've had some people talk shit about my fics on twitter, though, and not even vaguely but calling me by (user)name.

Do you write smut?

Is grass green? Yeah, I write smut 🤭 Thanks to two times kinktober, I have 95 explicit fics, by far the most used rating for my fics.

Craziest crossover:

let's have some fun tonight is my 9-1-1/Schitt's Creek crossover fic for 9-1-1 Rarepair Week, and my only crossover fic

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

My head over feet Buddie valentine's two-parter got posted as one chapter in Wattpad work with over 30 fics once. Filed a DMCA and Wattpad took it down within two hours.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Two of my fics have been translated into Russian afaik, one on ao3 and one on Ficbook

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope. It may be a nice challenge for the future? Not sure who I'd do it with.

All time favourite ship?

Gotta go for Buddie on that one, lol. Especially if you look at my writing history. But I often tend to hyperfixate on one ship at a time (current reading obsession is McDanno)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Buck's POV of if love is art then you might be my masterpiece. I really want to, but at this point it's been two years since the original so I don't know if it'd be worth it either. (I know not everyone was happy about how I ended it, but I doubt any of them are still waiting for more). Writing a different POV of the same fic takes an amount of planning that my brain just really struggles with. And I could pick up where the last chapter (before the epilogue) picks up, but I think that way there would be some crucial information about Buck missing.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told quite a lot of times that I am good at keeping characters, well, in character, even when putting them in partial or complete AU's. Of course, what is in character or not is subjective, but I do always challenge myself to work as much of the canon backstory and personality into who they are in the AU as possible.

And I like to think I'm pretty good at writing smut.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm terrible at pacing, which multiple of my long fics prove. It'll be drawn out first and then suddenly rushing. And being ESL I do struggle with things like sentence structure and grammar pretty regularly still.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

As long as there is some kind of translation provided somewhere I like it, but I'm not so quick to use it myself. Not beyond a few Spanish words here and there (generally pet names between Eddie and his family we've seen on the show or the occasional curse word when I feel it fits better than an English one, but I usually need to employ help from Spanish-speaking friends for those).

First fandom you wrote in?

Shameless! I binged that right before I started 9-1-1 and combined with the creative writing minor I was doing, it was actually what got me back into writing in general and what made me write my first ever fic.

Favorite fic you've written?

My in your arms i feel safe-series (which I always lovingly refer to as the ace kink fic) is definitely one of my favorites simply because of how personal it is to me and for the reason behind me writing it in the first place.

Other strong contenders are i would've loved you forever (it's never enough but i wanted it to be) and i'm begging you, come home to me (Teen Wolf, Thiam)

tagging @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @loserdiaz @watchyourbuck

[harrowharkwife]

ill go with sex pal :P but if that's already done, gideon :)

HIIIIII!!!!!!! hi friend!!!!!

favorite thing about them: PALAMEDESSSSSS my boy palamedes. my little guy. man, okay, what do i love about him. i love the way he loves. i am fascinated by his clumsy and imperfect and well-meaning but inherently flawed attempts/approaches to things like agency and ethics and fairness and respect. i love that he pays attention to everything. i love his drive. i love his gambling streak, his tendency to play the odds. i love that he's a boy who writes love letters™. i love how open he is about his affections and his feelings. i love his penchant for using terms of endearment. his love for teaching. his willingness to get up on a soapbox for things he believes in, even if he winds up stumbling sidelong into insufferable preachy condescension half the time. i love that he tries. i love that he sometimes fucks up and hurts the people around him. i love his boldness. i love his sweetness. i love his kindness. that boy could make friends with a brick wall if you gave him enough time. i love that he canonically writes weird erotica to cope. i love his taste in women. i love his gender. i just love him

least favorite thing about them: i mean, i could go on forever. he's deeply annoying sometimes, and as much as it's part of his charm, it also makes me want to thwap him upside the head from time to time, like. boy. shut UP!!! but the real answer is honestly his position as sixth house scion. master warden is an unspeakably rancid title in vibes alone and i sincerely hope we dig into the backstory behind that a little more in AtN. i find it fascinating, and troubling, and tragic, and frustrating, all the ways in which he talks the talk re: cavaliers and agency and free will, but when the rubber meets the road, do his actions really back that up? arguably, not always. and the guilt and complicity and codependent toxicity there re: camilla, is like catnip to me. he loves her, he respects her, she's his best friend, he's in awe of her and her abilities and her strength. and yet, time and time again, he puts her through harrowing things and thanks her each time she shoulders his burdens. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, it makes me so sad, it's a snake eating its own tail, it is a mobius strip of toxic power imbalance codependent enmeshment and it is FASCINATING to think about. if i keep going we'll be here all night, but just. i think fandom has a tendency to write him as The Good Person™ (him and Camilla both) and, like, i love him as much as the next girl, but he's a head of state in an empire, with all the implications that brings with it.

favorite line: "how god takes, and takes, and takes." "fool us twice, shame on god." "thank god for that mad, stubborn, lovely girl." "it's not you, it's me wearing you." (moira quirk's inflection on that line is literally fucking haunting, btw.) "do you know, i miss harrowhark terribly." "and, most personally, this is for dulcinea septimus." god. i just love him

brOTP: harrow, and also gideon.

OTP: im shy <3

nOTP: im struggling to think of a pal pairing that i Couldn't find compelling or at least interesting, if written the right way, in the right light. he's just my interesting little guy. he's a barbie and im making him scissor all the other barbies. who said that

random headcanon: glasses chain. earrings. palamedes can have she/her pronouns, every now and then, as a treat. contrary to the initial assumption of everyone he's ever met, he's actually Not autistic. (cam is; he's just got wicked bad adhd.) jewamedes is also fun

unpopular opinion: i mean i guess just what i said up top re: people sometimes acting like he's never done anything wrong in his life? i love him but i love him Because he is an interesting and deeply morally gray (ha) character.

song i associate with them: what you can't look up by walk the moon, tiny moves by bleachers, to someone from a warm climate by hozier, chateau lobby #4 in c for two virgins by father john misty, shiver shiver by walk the moon, star by mitski, hopedrunk everasking by caroline polachek, GAMBLER'S PRAYER BY CAROLINE POLACHEK my ultimate palamedes song

favorite picture of them: ive tattooed every single piece of palamedes art ive ever seen on the inside of my eyelids. except white palamedes fanart which is always such a jumpscare

[ghoulishsleep]

The Doctor | Part 2 | The Mandalorian

< Part 1 | Part 3 >

summary: You learn more about the Child and prescribe a remedy; another answer is received.

pairing: eventual Din Djarin x OC afab!reader (no physical descriptions; reader has relatives, a surname, and backstory/personality)

word count: +1.4k

a/n: I wonder if this is overly descriptive and boring, but I'm hoping for the best. I would love feedback regarding Mando! Also, please take this as me sending out an SOS for someone to beta read lmao, because I am so uncertain.

I have Plans™ for this, so do stay tuned. And! I have an idea for a prequel fic to explain exactly how Mando knows the reader and dad. Not sure if I should make a separate work in the same universe, or include it under "The Doctor." Pls share your thoughts.

A huuuge thanks for the love so far, and also to local-fanfic-addict for the name idea on the first installment. Happy reading!

warnings: rated T, descriptions of illness, medical inaccuracies (probably), referenced character death, no y/n

-

You can’t help the way your eyes bug when the Mandalorian tells you his foundling’s age.

“He’s fifty?”

You regard the dollop of a creature with an air of incredulity, who now sits in a heap of brown robes on your exam table, looking to be a toss-up of misery and curiosity. Tiny, clawed fingers rest atop the bunched fabric while big, dark eyes absorb the new surroundings.

“According to his chain code, yes.”

“Huh. Can’t argue with that, ” you nod, logging the sparse information the Mandalorian proffered into your datapad along with symptoms, height, and weight.

“Any idea what species he is?” you query next, which prompts the helmet to simply shake “no.” 

“Mm. So you don’t know whether he has any allergies or intolerances?”

Another shake of the helmet, “No.”

After entering a few further notes, you set your datapad aside and don a pair of exam gloves.

The Mandalorian continues to stand uncomfortably off to one side, seemingly trying to act preoccupied with taupe-hued walls and generic artwork. Part of you wishes he would just sit down and quit hovering – though you’d already offered him such once, to no avail.

You roll your stool over to the exam table, adjusting, so you’re as close to eye level with the Child as possible. Gloved hands extend in an offer for his tiny ones, which wrap around your index and middle fingers. “Hello, sweet baby. What seems to be going on with you?” you murmur, knowing well that he can’t actually tell you. However, the way he meets your eyes makes you believe he wants to.

An elongated coo that ends in another wet cough, like the one you heard earlier from within the bag, has you nodding deeply again, “Mmm, I understand. You must have had a terrible last few days.”

You can feel the Mandalorian watching as you maneuver your side of the room, retrieving items from a few drawers that slide quietly shut behind you. In truth, you feel out of place yourself without 2-1B present. He was the doctor by qualification – always there, your security blanket, your brother-droid – while you were more the shadow of one, indoctrinated by experience rather than schooling or hard-written code.

Returning to the table, you beckon the Child to open his mouth with an exaggerated “ahh” to swab the inside, which you deposit into a small machine integrated into the counter. Then you delicately prod the Child, eliciting a giggle as you listen to his heart and breathing, which pops wetly inside little lungs.

“Good job, ” you praise gently, brushing the Child’s chubby cheek with the backs of your fingers, then step away to peel off your gloves and enter your findings. Results from the machine import with a trill, populating more of the profile, and the Mandalorian shifts his weight in your periphery while you read over it, arms crossed over a broad chest.

“Although I’m sure you already figured as much, ” your hands fold briefly upon your lap. “The Child has significant lung inflammation, most commonly a result of bacterial infection. In addition to an antibiotic, I believe an antihistamine would be ideal, just in case he’s sensitive to it. Does that sound fine with you?”

Perhaps he expected you to simply tell him what he needed rather than ask because the helmet swivels the tiniest bit toward the Child, then back to you. “Yes, that’s fine.”

With a nod and the squeak of new gloves, you adjust your seat back to full height and roll between two mounted cupboards. A clear glass mortar and pestle clink together when you set them down, as do three labeled containers. All the while, the Mandalorian finally seems to relax the tiniest bit: with the Child now in the crux of one arm, he leans against the exam table.

Chalky off-white pills clatter against the glass, and you begin to gradually grind them into a fine dust, enough to eventually incorporate another viscous substance into a cohesive, opaque fluid. 

Near the end, the Mandalorian breaks the relative silence, “What are you doing?”

“Compounding an oral suspension.” The pestle moves in one final pass around the bowl before you set them aside to retrieve a glass dropper bottle and funnel the liquid in. “Have you ever tried to get a child to take a pill?” Your eyes flit up to his visor briefly, imploringly. It shakes, and you smile. “It doesn’t really go over well.”

“I see, ” comes a flat reply. When you glance at the Child again, it seems he’s falling asleep resting against the Mandalorian’s cuirass. Big eyes droop shut, peeking open each time one of you speaks.

“You’ll need to give him one dropper full of the antibiotic with food twice a day for seven days, ” you explain, more softly now, then gesture to another pre-dosed bottle of tablets. “These are chewable antihistamines, which can be given once daily.”

“Seems simple enough, ” agrees the Mandalorian, standing fully as you circle the table and toggle the door open.

Your lips part soundlessly at first, shutting as a new wave of trepidation washes over you. The Mandalorian breezes past and you catch the soft green of one pointy ear beyond his arm. It feels like a risky offer, but your curiosity gets the better of you, watching his cape shift as he walks back the way you came.

“You’re more than welcome to stay here while he recovers, ” you offer quickly, closing the door and following behind. “I’ve got a guest room with an en-suite refresher, so you don’t need to pay for lodging. If everything’s right, it should be maybe a week, if that.”

You’d hate to be on the business side of that ambiguous visor – when it turns back at you, your stomach drops. Fortunately, he only seems to deliberate for a moment before you receive your next answer:

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

-

The Mandalorian had left you for the remainder of the afternoon – perhaps to gather items from his ship or peruse the market lining the downtown corridor – returning just as the sun began its slow descent. A short walk beyond the edge of town brought you to your home, largely unchanged by time. With some prodding, you learned the Child preferred bone broth, and anything would do for the Mandalorian.

The Child had been reluctant to take the fruit-flavored antihistamine, so you worried he would too reject a broth laden with bitter medicine. Much to your relief, however, he sucked down the nourishment – deservedly – seeming not to notice anything amiss thanks to the peppery, sweet root you’d grated in.

The Mandalorian lounges in your den, some rigidity seeming to have melted from his frame. An empty porringer sits on the caf table across from him, and the Child dozes in the sling of his arms, full of broth and medicine, button eyes narrowed to slits as he fights a losing battle against his slumber once more.

The near soundless shuffle of heavy boots upon the floor causes you to look up in time to see the Mandalorian stalking down the guest hall. You plate the food and set it on the bar counter, turning to retrieve flatware.

“I didn’t think you were going to school to be a doctor.” 

The voice surprises you, its owner’s soundless return causing your hands to jostle the lip of the drawer you were in. Lips press thin to stifle a curse. You grab what you need and turn.

Then, you process what has been said.

Oh.

He remembers you, too.

You aren’t sure whether you flush, but it feels like you do, the notion softening your features somewhat, “I didn’t. I didn’t even finish the degree I was in for.”

“You seem capable enough without it.” It’s spoken matter of factly. “What happened?”

“I attended the University of Alderaan at a satellite campus for botany, and … you know. Halfway through my third year, I came home and started working with my dad, shadowing while doing side work.”

Silence draws out between you – and you’re torn about whether it’s comfortable. The Child’s soft, congested snore traveling down the hall is the only thing to disrupt it.

“My condolences, ” comes his even, modulated reply, and at first, you’re not sure what for.

“It’s fine. It was … a relief.” Your shoulder rolls in a shrug, and you smile. “All things considered, he lived a long life. This was a fun, easy retirement.”

A hum comes in reply. 

“You should go eat. Rest, ” you press after another beat. “You can leave your dishes out here; I’ll take care of them tomorrow.”

“Thank you, ” the Mandalorian reiterates. You watch him retreat down the hall, food in tow.

You retire to the opposite hall, ducking your head into 2-1B’s room.

“It is the Mandalorian, ” he says decisively, as though reading your mind.

“I know.”

< Part 1 | Part 3 >

-

@fatima-marisa @3zae-zae3

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