#Had the idea while art-ing so I wanted to put this out there

[humblemooncat]

I think I might open up my apartment as a tarot venue again (temporarily) for tonight and one or two nights this weekend. (Kobai Goten, Wing 1, apt. 13 in Zalera's Shiro, Ward 30)

I haven't touched my cards in a hot minute and I want to use them again, so why not?

I'd have it physically open for visitors from 9pm EST to probably midnight each night it's open. (So tonight and whichever day(s) win the poll)

HOWEVER, if you can't show up in-person and still want a reading, feel free to send me an ask and we can rp a bit there! <3

[wtfforged]

my campaign hiatus has gone on for too long so to cope ive combined my interests at their maximum potency and had some dnd-strawhats thoughts

thoughts in depth under read more... :)!

this is SO self indulgent. their designs literally did not change. but i am a firm believer that dnd doesnt have to be european high fantasy. and also one piece literally IS fantasy. no changes are necessary to fit into dnd. ive already imagined plenty of campaign/oneshot ideas inspired by one piece. so this was basically just an exercise of trying to replicate their canon abilities in dnd 5e as much as possible without totally homebrewing everything. well. aside from luffy. you just cant take away or change his stretching.

LUFFY: (human monk. drunken master subclass. outlander)

the only plain human of the crew to balance out with the fact that he still has rubber powers. obviously a monk. but drunken master subclass specifically because i think the flavor(not the fact that its about being a drunkard) and abilities both fit him really well. this line in the subclass' flavortext especially fits him: "A drunken master often enjoys playing the fool to bring gladness to the despondent or to demonstrate humility to the arrogant, but when battle is joined, the drunken master can be a maddening, masterful foe."

ZORO: (tiefling fighter. samurai subclass. bounty hunter)

a fighter with the samurai subclass is so very incredibly obvious... but i actually had a lot of fun geeking out while comparing the abilities to what he can do in canon; Fighting Spirit, Rapid Strike, and Strength Before Death especially! tiefling is also pretty on the nose for his demon pirate hunter shtick and asura form, but i thought he'd be really human-passing for a tiefling and theorized about his tail getting cut off at some point or another before joining the strawhats. initially wasnt gonna give him a feat, but i gave sanji a feat so i thought itd be unfair to not give him one as well, so sentinel fits the bill pretty well i think!

NAMI: (tabaxi rogue. arcane trickster subclass. criminal)

cat burglar -> full grown literal humanoid cat. this one is INCREDIBLY self indulgent... i love... cats... theres nothing deeper to this and no other reasoning. i took cat burglar and ran with it. can you tell that i love izutsumi dungeon meshi? rogue for the aforementioned burglar-ing as well, and the arcane trickster subclass for when she picks up climatact! the mage hand will be very useful for her pickpocketing. in the future as she levels up with timeskip, i can totally see her multiclassing into wizard as well! weather wizard!

USOPP: (lightfoot halfling artificer. artillerist subclass. urchin)

I HAD SO MUCH FUN THINKING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER SHEET. halfling's Naturally Stealthy ability lets him hide behind his crewmates since theyre (almost) all bigger than him, so its perfect for hiding behind zoro or sanji all the time. Lucky is also perfect for him, and I think Brave fits pretty well too when he puts on the sogeking mask. artillerist artificer is also very fun! tinkering and making magic items for his crew, and i think Eldritch Canon or Arcane Firearm could both be easily reflavored as kabuto or any of his inventions. for emphasizing his sniper-ness, the spell sniper feat was also necessary. i think hes my favorite of all the concepts. big ears and long nose combo is so cute to me.

SANJI: (half-elf monk. drunken master subclass. guild artisan (cook!))

race was mostly based on vibes i wont lie. squints. and that vinsmoke balogna or whatever too ig. but mostly vibes. along with the idea that i think a dwarf zeff raising him would be really funny and cute. monk is also obvious, and same subclass as luffy for mostly the same reasons. though the flavor fits him much less, i think the abilities still fit him perfectly, and this blurb specifically; "Your martial arts technique mixes combat training with the precision of a dancer." i really wanted to give him a different subclass from luffy, but i dislike all the other monk subclasses a lot and i found none of them fit him as well anyways, so to try and give them SOME differences, i gave him the crusher feat.

CHOPPER: (awakened deer(shifter statblock) cleric. life subclass. hermit)

this ones definitely a mouthful im sorry. awakened deer for obvious reasons, but due to magic instead of devil fruit stuff. when i was struggling with his race, i looked a lot at shifter because of his forms, but it occurred to me that itd be super cool if he could shift between all of the different shifter options instead of being stuck with just one to replicate his rumble balls. something like heavy point/guard point=beasthide, horn point/arm point(?maybe?)=longtooth, walk point/jumping point=swiftstride, and brain point=wildhunt. hed definitely need some kind of nerf though to balance out that homebrew... and cleric for class. duh.

ROBIN: (high elf wizard. order of scribes subclass. criminal)

robin is definitely the one i struggled the most with just because of her class. elf came pretty easily- shes very elegant and i think shed look cute with super long ears- and i landed on high elf instead of wood elf for the int-based abilities. i was really on the fence between sorcerer and wizard for her because i knew shed be a full spellcaster, but i didnt feel that any of the subclasses really fit her. i ended up going with wizard for order of the scribes since it focuses on texts and knowing everything. but also because robin with a flying talking sentient book would be crazy cool. it could also be similar to how she spawns mouths and eyes places to talk to or watch people. my "fuck it, why not. this would be rad. its my house" mindset kicked in with her i will admit. also the One with the Word ability made me cackle out loud when i read it. thats the funniest ability ever. anyways, i cant really think of a way to replicate her powers, but maybe we could just reflavor a bunch of spells to be her limbs or clutch; hold person, maximillian's earthen grasp, or evard's black tentacles. thatd probably work okay, and theres a handful of spells to replicate her ability to spawn eyes or mouths. unrelated, but i imagine nico olvia to be a drow. why? her hair is white. i am a simple man!

[wonderingpanda]

Remember back in high school the juiciest gossip was always about someone like-like-ing someone else? Will you write headcanons or something about the Mayhem boys hearing a rumor about someone (Reader) like-like-ing them? What would they do with this super important information?

I just really need some fluffy goofy high school shenanigans now-a-days.

Have You Heard?

MM!Turtles x Reader

This was so much fun to write. I loved adding hints of my own comedy and little cliches while giving each turtle their own individual story to follow. Thank you for the request, enjoy!

Leo

This was unexpected

Oh this was VERY unexpected

See Leo was a loser

He didn’t get to be cool, he didn’t get to be  smart, he didn’t get to be funny and he didn’t get the girl

At least that’s what he thought

According to April though, this was entirely inaccurate

According to April, you’d had a crush on him for the last month

Someone went a whole MONTH harbouring romantic feelings for him!

And not just anyone; his cool, pretty friend whom he had fallen head-over-heels for the first day they met

This was unbelievable!

Of course his brothers didn’t believe him

I mean, why would they? According to them, he naturally makes girls gravitate away from him

Now it’s not like you knew April told Leo this

You had simply shared the information during a sleepover and blindly trusted her

A bad choice really considering sharing news was her whole gig

Still you were none-the-wiser the next day as to why Leo was anxiously pulling at his shirt

Or why he avoided your eyes like the plague

Or why when you chose to sit next to him in geography he felt like his heart was about to erupt

You had no clue

So what was Leo to do in this situation?

Trust in April’s words and confess his feelings, risking the possibility of making things more awkward?

Or stay silent and let fate decide when was right, risking losing the chance to be with you forever?

It was a tough choice

But Leo’s a wimp so obviously he wasn’t going to say anything

That was until his brothers forced him to

Donnie had cleverly hacked his computer to send an email to you, asking you to meet in one of the art rooms

He in turn did the same to your computer and gave explicit times to ensure you both crossed over

It was believing those emails that lead you to to your current situation

Locked in an art room by April and Leo’s insufferable brothers, forced to wait it out until you found a way to escape

Heart pounding, mind racing and palms sweating

Leo knew exactly what they wanted out of you two and he had no idea how to do it!

So… Guess we’re stuck, in here … Seems like it’ll be a while- Did I upset you Leo? What, no!? Really? Cause you’ve been acting weird all day Not because of you! Well it sure seems like it’s because of me! How!? You literally made a point to stare at nothing but the ground the second I tried talking to you today! I was nervous! Why were you nervous!? Because I really like you! I really, really like you And I guess the thought that you might like me back is so thrilling it’s kind of terrifying But I-I don’t expect you to feel the same, I get this is probably off-putting with the green and the shell and the baldness- Leo! You grabbed his head and forced him to finally meet you face-to-face No tan, hair-covered, bare-backed guy could ever make me feel the way I do for you

You quickly kissed him and upon pulling away realised he had melted into a puddly, flustered mess

And you were released from the art room

Eventually

In the end it was a win-win

April got to succeed in her matchmaking schemes, you got to kiss the turtle of your dreams, Leo got a girlfriend and his brothers had something new to tease him about

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t a 100% win for Leo but close enough

Raph

Raph had met you first when he joined the wrestling club at school and you just so happened to be there

You also happened to be there when he tried out for the track team

And footy team

And basketball team

And cricket team

And just about every single sport he experimented with

For some reason you were consistently always there, always in his head with your stupid pretty face and swooshy hair and bright eyes and dumb little smile

GOD WHY WERE YOU ALWAYS THERE &$!#%!!??

Well… since you seemed to follow him everywhere Raph figured he may as well befriend you

And you two got along well, soon enough it seemed like he had found his new best friend

Also it may have turned out that you’d been widely involved in the school’s sport program for years but we don’t talk about that!

Anyhow, you guys stuck together pretty consistently

Always hanging out and goofing off, ranting about teachers and friends

In a weird way you were also each other’s therapists, being forced to be the reasonable one whenever the other was in a firey state

His brothers greatly appreciated it as it meant they had to deal with less violent endeavours from him

If only Donnie hadn’t been feeling so bored that day, maybe then he’d still be alive

Or at least have a chance of living to the next day

See you and Raph had just been chilling at your locker while you grabbed stuff for class

No biggie, the closest you contact you had was Raph’s arm being slightly around you

But when Donnie came around and saw you two he couldn’t think of a better way to brighten his day than to embarrass his brother in front of the girl he’d been talking about for weeks

So as he walked by he slyly turned to you two, eyebrows raised and commented “You two look comfy” before contently strutting off

Raph’s face blended in with his mask as he stared angrily at his brother’s back

I’m gonna kill him Don’t I have P.E with him today

Donnie ended up returning home with a LOT of bruises that day

But it was worth it for the information he managed to squeeze out of you

All which he spouted to Raph like a proud toddler

Raph didn’t believe him

He genuinely didn’t

No way you had a crush on him

You liked to watch him wrestle for the fight not the visuals

And the only reason you were insistent on having him at your locker every morning was so you had someone to talk to. You’d replace him with any of your friends if they arrived earlier

Also, the fact that you showed off your muscles to him at a swim competition was purely to brag and in no way hinting towards any feelings!

Raph knew you didn’t like him and he could prove it

So Donnie dared him to ask you

Then after regaining consciousness, told Raph he’d call him out for being a wimp if he didn’t

3 beatings in one day, way to go Donnie!

So Raph wasn’t feeling too psyched the next day when he was talking to you and noticed Donnie’s lingering gaze but a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do (terrible under other context but you get the point)

Ok Y/n, now this is totally random but stupid Donnie has been nagging me to ask you. Do you like me? Like, like-like me Donnie told you that? No he just wanted me to ask- Well he’s right Huh? He told me you feel the same way, I’m assuming you do After all it would make sense as to why you’re constantly displaying signs of high dopamine, noradrenaline, releases of phenethylamine and hormonal changes around me I don’t know what any of those words mean but I love you You turned to him with a genuine smile I love you too, but it has only been a few weeks so can we just take things a bit slow for now? Uh huh Awesome

You gripped the top of his plastron and pulled the lovestruck turtle into a small kiss

Sadly you were torn apart when an annoying voice called out from across the hall

I told you so!

He bolted, but at least you two had managed to get together. Raph may have actually killed Donnie otherwise

Donnie

You and Donnie were childhood friends, platonic besties, a power duo of friendship

There were no romantic feelings between you two AT ALL

…

So it started in maths

You, Donnie and Leo were being the ultimate nerd trio, figuring out equations and such when one of the annoying kids, Harvey, thought it would be funny to call out

Hey Donnie! Did you know Y/n likes you!?

Some kids started laughing and others talking while you sat there with your face beet red

Donnie’s face flushed as he stumbled over his words, desperately trying to defend you which he didn’t succeed well in

He did take note of your reaction to the whole scenario which peaked his interest

(Side note: Leo did slightly enjoy the whole thing, finally not the butt of the joke 😃)

After that day Donnie’s thoughts grew

He had pictured these scenarios a thousand times in his head but never had they felt so possible

Asking you out, you asking him out, going on dates, exchanging gifts, hugging, crying, kissing

Then it happened again, sort of

He and Raph were leaving class together

Easy, simple, completely normal

Till a random girl, who he recognised as your friend, yelled from behind

Donnie, do you like Y/n!?

He panicked. What was he meant to say?

He couldn’t say yes, what if you didn’t like him? But what if you did like him?

However, they were getting further away and he only had seconds to answer

So he made the “smartest decision of his life” and called back

U-uh, um, no!

Since then you’d been more distant

And with all this evidence; Donnie became a full analyst

He noted down your behaviours, how you acted before and now

How your interests changed with him, when you were louder and quieter, what gestures you made to hint any feelings

He looked deep and saw all the signs

Sadly you were still pretty distant after what you heard from your friend and Donnie was determined to change that

First off, he tried to initiate more conversation and when you attempted to cut it short he kept pushing

No matter how hard his social anxiety was screaming he knew he had to keep conversations going

He also kept making an effort to sit next to you

Any scenario be it lunch, class or just general group hangouts; he was always by your side

And after a week or so when you seemed to be loosening up more he chose to take things a step further with physical contact

He’d give you a high-five, fist bump or hug as a greeting

Maybe lean on your shoulder or get closer when you were showing him something

Sometimes if he was feeling particularly happy he’d sneak his hand over yours

Soon enough, it seemed like you had finally gotten over everything and were back to your old self. But there was still something you had to address

Lunch time, alone. That’s when you chose to bring it up

Donnie, do-um… did uh my friend ever tell you anything a few weeks ago? He began choking on his food *Cough* N-no uh why? Well it’s just that the last few days you’ve been different Different how? Uh… just small stuff like the hand thing and I guess you’ve seemed a bit closer Oh! I mean psh, I just thought you were upset or something so I wanted to cheer you up, no big deal You thought I was upset? Why? Well you were acting more distant and I didn’t want to bring it up cause I thought it might be sensitive so I figured I’d just help on the side, you know? That’s actually really sweet. But are you sure there’s no other reason for it? Uh nope! None, I mean why else would I want to hug you and hold your hand and stuff it’s not like I have a crush on you. Cause that- that would be crazy you and me together like whaaat? A mutant and a human who, how!? Donnie Yes Did you lie to my friend? Maybe … So it wouldn’t be weird if we dated? I’d love it if we dated

Of course you kissed and both of you loved it

Donnie had never felt this happy in his whole life, not even when they saved the city!

And he had enough blackmail to shut his brothers up if they ever tried teasing you two

Mikey

You two were the best of buddies

Two peas in a pod

Always acting and performing at each others side

Mikey loved it

Mikey loved you

And the day he heard you may feel the same caused his mind and heart to simultaneously explode

It was Leo, of course it was Leo

They were in art discussing the struggles of having human crushes

It was when Leo said “At least yours likes you back” that he knew he screwed up

Mikey wasn’t panicked though, Mikey’s Mikey

He was of course very happy when he heard the news and didn’t leave Leo alone about it for days

Every waking moment was spent getting updates from Leo and insights into your friend group

And whenever you two saw each other be it before school, after school, breaks, in class or at improv, he was ecstatic

This guy just couldn’t get enough and made every effort to let you know he liked you

Soon enough he felt like he had enough confirmation on your feelings and gained the confidence to just go for it

It was during a game of freeze tag when he tapped out the person you were previously with and started a new scene

Jessie! Hey, thank gosh I found you Lucas, what’s up? I haven’t seen you in a while Oh well, you know, I’ve just been busy; things have been a bit different lately Different how? Well the word is that someone I know likes me but I just don’t know who That sure is a dilemma Yeah, if it’s the person I think it is though I recon it’ll end pretty well You got some hopes do you? Ahh just someone, nothing to worry about I don’t know if you’re associated Try me Alright well… they have h/c hair ooh and pretty e/c eyes! They’re also one of my closest friends and I don’t think they realise just how much I like them Wow Lucas that must be really keeping you on edge Yeah, if only I knew who it is At this point you and Mikey had moved so close to each other your hands were almost touching Mikey I- FREEZE!

And just like that, the scene was over

But not the story

At the end of the rehearsal you and Mikey walked out of school together and the discussion of feelings was unavoidable

You two were walking silently side-by-side till he finally said it

I like you Y/n Do you like me back? I like you so much Mikey you don’t even know

His face lit up as he cheerfully pulled you into a hug and spun around

You took the opportunity as he slowed down, cupped one of his cheeks and planted a kiss on his lips

From that day forward Mikey got to walk around boasting about having the greatest partner in all of New York

And you went on to kick Leo’s butt for exposing your secret so easily

Again, I loved writing this so much. Also I think I’m going to use indented for my Headcanons from now on (although I guess they’re more listed stories at this point). Anyway thank you for reading and please, have an awesome day/night wherever you are!✨

[a-little-unsteddie]

for a minute in the sunlight I

i reached 400 followers today which is insane so have part one of a fic i’ve been working on. once i’m not half asleep i’ll post it to ao3 as well, which will be linked at the end of this note. this is an au i’ve been floating around in my head for a while now, which basically is my rendition of a meet cute ft. Famous!Steve x Normal(ish)!Eddie. except, eddie is a cosplayer, the character that steve voice acts for is coincidentally the character that eddie cosplays as, but that’s later. eddie has no idea that steve is the VA tho. ALSO eddie runs a booth in artist alley with chrissy! anyway, here is part one lol.

ao3 link

—part I: 1.7k words—

“Eddie Munson! You better be on your way!” Chrissy’s voice greeted him as Eddie pressed the ‘accept call’ button and pulled the phone up to his ear. He looked around his hotel room and grimaced.

“I am! I swear I am! I’m gonna get us coffee, though,” he said, grabbing his backpack filled with his convention supplies. He looked around the room, almost ‘aha’-ing out loud before grabbing the ‘artist’ lanyard he had gotten the night before as well as the hotel keycard.

“Good! If you’re not here before the booth opens I swear to god I’ll cut your hair!” She threatened him, causing Eddie to laugh.

“Relax! I’m almost to the cafe,” he lied, dashing out the door and shutting it quietly behind him to not alert the girl on the other end of the phone.

“You’re supposed to be here, y’know, at the convention, to be at your booth, to sell your art!” She snapped at him, sounding more amused than actually upset.

“I’ll be there soon! With coffee!” Eddie repeated, before hanging up just as the elevator dinged at him to indicate its arrival. He stepped onto the elevator, smiling stiffly at the stranger already occupying it. She glanced at him, but ultimately ignored his existence, which was just fine in his opinion.

Okay, so. Eddie knew Chrissy was right to be mad at him—he was meant to be at the venue around 9, and it was nearing 10, and the convention starts at 10:30, so really he had about 45 mins to get there, which was more than enough time to get there. But he was supposed to be there at 9, so he could be set up by 10, for opening at 10:30. He was forever grateful that Chrissy was a morning person and willing to put up with his bullshit.

They had known each other for years, growing up in the same small middle-of-nowhere town as each other. She had been cheer captain while he was forever bullied by the other jocks, but she had come to him one day and decided that he was going to be her best friend. Well, more like, Eddie decided that he wasn’t going to sell some girl hard drugs and instead talked to her.

The rest was history, as they say.

Eddie helped her get away from Jason, her abusive boyfriend, and Chrissy helped him get away from Hawkins. She was also the primary reason he was able to do art and cosplay as a full time gig, as she was able to market and manage his chaos better than he ever could. What had started out as a hobby that Eddie took on to express his frustration with the world had turned into his career, thanks to Chrissy. He had started out by posting his art onto instagram, tiktok, and tumblr, just wanting to show off the work he did for some fandoms he was active in.

Chrissy was also the one to convince him to try to sell his art. To his surprise, fans and non-fans alike ate his work up and bought the fuck out of it. Chrissy also helped him with starting to do conventions as a job rather than as an attendee — she helped him put together his portfolio and designs and ideas into something cohesive that could be set up in a booth in the artist alley of whatever conventions they could get into.

All of that is to say, Eddie owed a lot to Chrissy for his current life. One thing that Eddie couldn’t get figured out was time management. He was able to do most other things with Chrissy, like managing his online presence, restocking his prints when he was low, managing the booth when they were at a con. However, he could never seem to get anywhere on time the first go around. The first day of cons, without fail, led to Eddie arriving a few minutes before the booth opened to the rest of the con.

Which is why Eddie was running late, again.

Chrissy should know better than to expect him on time, but he also figured maybe he could work harder at being on time. Not that he didn’t try, he set an abundance of alarms every time, but one thing or another caused him to be late. This time it was the fact his alarm was set for 7:30 in the evening, instead of morning. He had woken up, checked his phone, saw it was 8:37 and shot up like a rocket to get his shit together. He was meant to do some sort of look today, but had decided against it so that way he wasn’t completely behind. So he just did a basic look — unfortunately that still took him nearly an hour. He didn’t even do make up, which to be fair, he never did on the first days of conventions.

Eddie was so caught up in his thoughts, rushing towards the cafe he knew was near the convention center, that he crashed right into someone leaving said cafe. He swore loudly, stumbling back with wide eyes.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve been paying more attention, oh my god,” Eddie rushed out, staring at the spilt coffee on the ground. There were two to-go cups laying there, making Eddie feel even worse because this person wasn’t just getting coffee for themselves. He looked up to apologize again, except the words died in his throat.

Was it cliché to say it was love at first sight?

The man looked less angry and more just sad at the coffee that was spilled at their feet, which, to be fair, Eddie felt really bad about.

The man looked up and caught Eddie’s eyes and Eddie was gone. He had honey colored hair, eyes made of milk chocolate, freckles dotted his cheeks, and Eddie could see moles on his neck and expected him to be covered in them. He smiled apprehensively at Eddie, as if expecting a sort of reaction to seeing him, but Eddie was distracted by his jawline. He felt heat crawling up his neck, and took a deep breath to steady himself.

“I’m more than happy to buy you new coffee, I’m so sorry,” Eddie apologized again, eyes wide.

“No— it’s okay,” the man responded and Eddie was floored because was there anything about this man that wasn’t completely perfect? Eddie knew he likely had heart eyes but he couldn’t help it, the stranger was just gorgeous.

“I insist! I ran into you, caused you to spill not one but two coffees! Let me buy you replacements at least,” Eddie pressed earnestly, smiling brightly, trying to put on his charm which he hadn’t used in years. It seemed to work, because the stranger's cheeks tinted pink as he nodded shyly. “Great! I’m Eddie,” he said, reaching out to offer his hand to shake, before changing his mind immediately and moving to grab the door. “After you, sweetheart.”

“Steve,” the stranger—Steve—responded, smiling timidly as he ducked back into the cafe. Eddie followed, letting his gaze drop for a moment to take a peek at his ass, which Eddie was dismayed to also find perfect. This is simultaneously the best and worst day of Eddie’s life.

“Nice to meet you,” Eddie said as they came to a stop at the end of the line. “What are you in Chicago for?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

Steve seemed to relax at the question, smiling softly as he answered. “Well, officially, I’m here to go to a convention, but unofficially I’m here to visit a friend I don’t get to see as often as I want.”

Eddie lit up, eyes bright with excitement. “Oh, no way? I’m going to a con too! I run a booth in artist alley! Maybe we’ll see each other?” He said, grinning at Steve. The man smiled back, eyebrows furrowed as he took in the excited man beside him.

“Yeah, maybe,” he agreed, raising his eyebrows.

“Look for a booth called CorrodedCoffin Art, and that’ll be mine! If I’m not there, Chrissy will be, so you can just ask her where I am,” Eddie said, enthusiastically. The idea that he could see this man again was already making him vibrate with excitement.

“I’ll look for you,” Steve said earnestly, smiling crookedly. “I have a lot to do this weekend, but hopefully I can stop by and see you.” Eddie bobbed his head, pretty much bouncing in place.

“Cool! Oh! It’s our turn. You can order first,” the metalhead said, gesturing in front of him. Steve smiled at him before turning to the barista.

“Back so soon?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.

Steve laughed, glancing at the man next to him. “Yeah, this guy ran into me and spilled both of my drinks,” he said, leering teasingly at Eddie, who felt his cheeks heat.

“I said sorry! And I’m buying you new drinks to make up for it,” Eddie defended, crossing his arms and pouting. Steve snorted softly, before returning his attention to the barista. He ordered his two drinks before moving to the side to let Eddie order.

“One large iced caramel mocha, and one extra large iced white chocolate mocha, please,” he ordered with a hum. He handed over his card, barely disguising a wince as she read off the total to him.

“Extra large, huh?” Steve asked, raising his eyebrows. Eddie laughed, shrugging helplessly.

“I was supposed to be at the convention center an hour ago,” he admitted, smiling, “the extra large is for Chrissy to make up for it.” He paused for a minute, looking Steve up and down and decided ‘fuck it’. “Can’t say I regret being late, though,” he said, winking at the man. Eddie delighted in watching Steve’s cheeks turn pink and itched to know how far down his body the flush spread.

“Well, I for one am glad you were running late,” Steve said, causing Eddie to grab a piece of his hair and hide a grin behind it. He watched as Steve’s gaze went down and then back up to meet his eyes.

Sooner than either man hoped, their orders were fulfilled. Eddie checked the time absentmindedly and cursed, seeing it was nearing 10:15. He reached into his bag and grabbed a sharpie, grinning as he wrote down his number onto a napkin.

“I am running late, but text me, maybe?” He asked, grinning shyly at the man as he tucked the napkin into his front pocket. He winked at him one more time before grabbing his drinks and dashing out the door. Chrissy would forgive him, probably.

[sunfloo-wers]

3, 11, 14, and 24 for the art ask game!!! Also, sorry that this is late! How have you been?

Hi! Thank you so much for asking, also no need to apologize! (I heard you’re not doing the best and just wanted to say before I forget that I hope it gets better)

I noticed this at the perfect time too! Thank you for feeding my procrastinating! Hehehe

3. your favorite piece(s)?

I’ve got to say that it’s this one 2 page semi-comic piece ( I have no idea what to call it, I was debating on layouts and decided to just do both and stitched, literally, them together, so it’s the same characters but different points in time if that makes sense) that I made sometime last spring for an art competition thing, I’ve not shared it here or anything but I might eventually cause it was at least somewhat inspired by zelda stuff! It had rules about reference pictures being ones you took yourself so it was a fun thing outside my comfort zone (I am an avid reference user) (I also definitely rushed it cause I didn’t know it was happening until like a month before an decided to make something knew instead of an existing piece sooooo (I literally did nothing but paint in my free time, I swear I started hallucinating watercolor texture when I closed my eyes))

For stuff that is certainly connected to tumblr stuff, I may be biased cause it’s recent but the piece that I’ve been working on these past few weeks is turning out to be a favorite and I can’t wait to share it! :D

11. do you listen to anything while drawing?

YES. YES 100% It’s normally music but I sometimes also will put on random shows just to be hearing people talk!

14. whats your favorite thing about drawing?

Hmmmmm, I’m quite fond of just doing things with my hands, and if I get to make something at least somewhat visually appealing then that’s a massive plus! I’m not sure if that’s a proper answer but yeah

24. whats a compliment about your art that has always stuck with you?

Oh gosh memory is not working for me right now, so I don’t have anything solid but I think I’ve had people say that I do movement good so maybe that? I genuinely forget sorryyyyy

I’m doing okay, life been a bit much and has kinda been avalanche-ing on me as of recently but I’m alive so that’s a plus (that sounds really bad, I promise I am actually okay), how about you?

[arimiadev]

Visual Novel Developer Interview – Scene Direction in Of Sense and Soul

Hi everyone! For this month's visual novel dev article I thought we’d try something different. I typically write articles based on my own experiences and research, but I want to include more commentary and experiences from other developers.

So today I’ll be interviewing another visual novel developer!

ingthing is a visual novel developer and friend of mine who is currently developing Of Sense and Soul, a queer Victorian romance visual novel following a pair of men after a misconstrued newspaper ad.

Of Sense and Soul (@ofsenseandsoul) is a highly detailed, lovingly crafted visual novel that showcases how we can elevate indie visual novels to new heights. Its attention to visuals is something that can be felt throughout every store page and screenshot for the game but is even more breathtaking once you actually play it.

Today I’ll be interviewing the lead developer, ingthing! You may have seen her previously talk on this at Visual;Conference, an annual online visual novel developer conference.

find the archived version of this interview on my blog.

Note: ingthing will be referred to as “Ing” and Of Sense and Soul will be shortened to “OSAS”.

Arimia: Hiya Ing! So to get us started, can you introduce yourself and tell people how you got into visual novel development?

Ing: I’m Ing, I’m an artist and designer who had a gay webcomic idea with her friend one day and then two years later we decided it should become a visual novel instead! Now I lead my own little studio and we’re making a Whole Thing out of OSAS. [Of Sense and Soul]

Arimia: Cinematography is such a large aspect of OSAS. What made you want to focus so much on cinematography for it?

Ing: In the beginning we actually didn’t consider cinematography so much—our original Demo was very static and was a simpler affair of putting sprites on a background. 

It was really when I was designing the user interface that I began to think about it, starting with a NVL style screen that displayed a letter that the main character was reading. I had the idea of placing the main character sprite on the left of the letter in order to display their emotions while reading the letter as a close-up—and that meant I started the framing of the scene, and how the “camera” could affect the player’s experience of the game.

LEFT: An earlier draft of the Letter Reading Screen in OSAS. RIGHT: A screenshot of the same scene as shown in the Extended Demo.

What really solidified my pursuit of cinematography in OSAS was the prologue sequence—I knew immediately I wanted to use the art for it with a camera pan down the long, vertical image. I watched Visual Novel Design (Vimilikesart’s) YouTube video Ren’Py Images and Action Editor Tutorial and decided to use Action Editor to achieve this, and once I learned how to use the tool the rest was history!

Once I knew what the possibilities of the Ren’Py in-game camera were, I quickly learned more about its Animation and Transformation Language (ATL) through manipulating it, and started adding cinematography to the entire Of Sense and Soul demo.

Arimia: Why do you think this is important in visual novels?

Ing: As an experience, visual novels are unique in that they are a time-based interactive medium. You’re asking your audience for their attention for a significant chunk of their time, the same way a movie or TV series would—and that’s a lot of hours spent in front of a screen if it stays fundamentally unmoving. 

Dialogue and narration are also commonly shown in a text box at the bottom of the screen, and the text content itself is what tells most of the story. In my opinion, having a static screen that only changes when images are being switched in or out discourages players from paying attention to the visuals, and more of their focus might turn to the text alone—which would not only make their playing experience more monotonous but also impact their enjoyment of your hard work.

I think every visual novel developer or player is familiar with the imagery that makes up a scene—namely, sprites and backgrounds—and these are very important to get right, as they offer a visual to connect with stories and characters. Most backgrounds and sprites offer variation for appropriate times of day or facial expressions, or even props, poses, and outfits if they’re fancy—but I would say their possibilities as image assets alone are finite. You can match a scene to a narrative and match a character to their description, but their effectiveness in conveying a scene is entirely dependent on when, where, how, and why you display them, which is one major element you have control over when scripting a VN. 

With Of Sense and Soul‘s demo, I’ve had the joy of watching in real time as streamers and players respond to my cinematography—and the level of investment in the story they develop when given engaging visuals cannot be overstated! It was clear the action happening on screen through the main character’s eyes was connecting with them. Sudden angled zooms on shocked characters’ expressions earned a gasp or laugh, while thudding heartbeat effects and pans across a character’s face with their eyes concealed drew concerned looks or “Oh no”s from players without fail, every time the scene was intended to elicit those reactions. It’s one thing to show a character’s emotions on their face or describe how they’re feeling—it’s another entirely to tell it through the audience’s visual instincts.

…the level of investment in the story [streamers and players] develop when given engaging visuals cannot be overstated!

(As an aside, I’ve been told that when they arrive at the voiced segments of OSAS, some players begin to feel like they’re watching a movie instead of reading a visual novel—which in my eyes means the cinematography was successful!)

Utilizing cinematography in your visual novels can not only help you keep your audience’s attention by creating a better visual narrative and keeping them eager to see what comes next, but also allows you to maximize the image assets you do have—which, for many visual novel developers, is limited. I think that’s pretty important, and a win for everyone all around!

Arimia: I think using what limited assets you have is definitely key. What are some ways you think other devs can make better use of their limited assets, from what you’ve seen in other games?

Ing: I think prime examples of devs making creative use of their assets can be seen in a lot of games made for the O2A2 game jam in which each game can only have one of any asset. Some ways devs have used their backgrounds, for example, with added motion or repetition, like in lastrain by usarin in which a background is looped to give the appearance of a moving train, or in Fleeting Confession by xxmissarichanxx where the foreground confession booth screen is used both in front of the sprite and in the back, but blurred and semi-transparent for the latter.

A more simple and commonly used way to better utilise image assets is just by changing the parts shown of them—many visual novels will zoom into a background or sprite to show off specific details, especially if events described in the story itself are taking place in, say, a table in the corner of the room.

I think what most devs who do play with camerawork and presentation have set up, though, is they’ve already planned their assets ahead for those uses—devs who do full-body sprites will have more flexibility than half-body sprites, and backgrounds that are larger than the final game window offer better quality when zoomed into.

Some devs also play around with “comic book” style cut-ins, like the prologue for Tomorrow Will be Dying by Team Robo and actually, your game, Lost Lune! Even in the screenshots you can see some fun silhouetting of sprites and comic frames being used to bring drama to scenes.

Arimia: These are all great ideas for VN devs! Personally I love playing around with camera stuff and trying new things to make scenes more dynamic—there’s so many ways you can frame scenes. Is there any technique or method you’d like to add to OSAS that you haven’t been able to yet or plan on?

Ing: I do actually want to do some cut-in style frames and potentially use a vignette effect for flashbacks. I tend not to plan a ton for scene direction, but I see what other devs are doing and go “this looks so cool” and hoard it in my brain like a squirrel preparing for hibernation.

Arimia: Yeah, definitely. I was playing Mahoyo recently and it took me forever to finish it because I’d get so inspired by the scene direction!

How do you mix the visual scene direction with other aspects, like audio? I’ve never delved into voice acting for my games but I know voice acting is a large part of the charm for OSAS.

Ing: Definitely relate to just staring at sequences for ages and rolling back and forth to examine how cinematics work!

Honestly the weirdest part with voice acting for OSAS is we never originally thought it would be part of the game. Because the game has a very “paper-like” feel and was intended to be more grounded in words, VA wasn’t something we felt would be necessary.

What really changed that was the addition of scene direction. Once cinematics were in and we knew what the sprites and settings could do to tell the story, voicing was a natural next step because the game was suddenly so lively!

The audio absolutely plays a big part in how scenes are directed and sequenced—to an extent we follow the emotionality of the soundtracks playing in the background to reflect the emotions of the scene. A more melancholic track might be accompanied with more sluggish-feeling pans across the scene, where a lively track might have quicker pans between sprites to reflect the dynamic of the conversation!

One of my favorite audio-led camera effects is the heartbeat effect used in Seamus’ demo segments; when the heartbeat is pounding in Seamus’ (and the player’s) ears, the camera zooms in/out and blurs along with the sound effect, creating a much more impactful effect than if we were to just add the audio.

Arimia: Yeah, the heartbeat effect is something that just sticks with you—I’ve never seen anything like it in other VNs. Parts like that really draw you in (literally and figuratively).

Okay, my final question is- share a cool trick in Ren’Py!

Ing: I’ll share two!

The first is boring, but…

You can actually define your color hex codes in your files and apply them wherever you need them (like your GUI styles)! And then when you need to change the color itself you won’t have to find all instances of that hex code and change them individually, you can just do it from your main definition.

If you’re in the Ren’Py developer console (Shift+O) you can change your save file name using $ save_name = "filename" for your personal testing needs and it won’t affect your save_name for the game itself.

And that way you can keep your save files for testing named and also make yourself laugh with them!

----------------

And there you have it! I hope this interview with ing on scene direction was helpful, inspiring or at least interesting. Cinematography in VNs has been something I’ve been really interested in this year and I hope to see more visually unique VNs in the future.

You can find Of Sense and Soul’s demo on itch.io and Steam via their website. There’s so many super inspired segments, I really recommend you to check it out! The game is also currently on Kickstarter—if you’re planning to host your own, I fully recommend checking out the page for it. The attention to detail on the Kickstarter page is a league of its own.

You can also follow them on Tumblr @ofsenseandsoul!

[doodlejoops]

Hey Joops, so... a question about your recent posting of your art from the reverse bang. I'm about to take part in one (as an artist) and wanted to ask this of someone who has been in this situation...

How much of a scenario did you come up with before you started work on your picture? Did you have a basic plot in your head (which of course Azure would have been free to ignore)? Or did you just think "Kacchan carrying Deku on a mountain trail" and leave it at that? I don't know if my question/ing makes sense... i've just never done a reverse bang before, and while i have a good idea for my picture, i just don't know 🤔 i don't want to hamper my writer by putting too much detail in the art... but don't want to do something too *bland* that'll have the writer thinking "how do i write about *that*?" just your thought processes is what i guess i'm asking about (if you're good with sharing) 😁 Peter

Hi Peterrrrrr! I think it depends a little on the event. I'll admit I've only done two bangs so I'm not the most knowledgeable about them. But for the Summer Daze the artists could kind of be as involved as they wanted to - some worked with the writers to create the plot, others came up with a prompt of what they wanted to draw and let the writers figure out what they wanted to do with it (which is what I did!) Any good bang will let you include any triggers or squicks, or things that you don't want the writer to include in their fic, as well as an option for things that you would quite like to feature! When I pitched my piece, I had a rough outline of the art I had in mind (I just fancied doing some background work, so the idea came from there), and stated that I was happy for the writer to go wild! Most importantly, just chat with your writer if you're not sure! And visa versa.

[ask-de-writer]

Return to the Master Story Index

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THE FISHERMAN'S LEG (Part 11 of 20)

A sequel to Dee 1/2 Demon

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

13269 words (work in progress)

© 2023 by Glen Ten-Eyck

All rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

TUMBLR EXEMPTION

Blog holding members of Tumblr.com may freely reblog this story provided that the title, author and copyright information remain intact, unaltered, and are displayed at the head of the story.

Fan art, stories, music, cosplay and other fan activity is actively encouraged.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

New to the story? Read from the beginning HERE.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Tanira came back from the Tribunal before noon. Her steps were dragging and her whole demeanor was downcast. Minara put aside the shop's accounts and her abacus to take Tanira in her arms and let her sob.

Brokenly, she got out, “The Magistrate refused to listen to any idea that Minami should have any share in the house. He stated that Minami's actions regarding the Ice House showed what he might do to our home. He removed the house from joint property, awarding it to me, and has arranged for Minami's eviction, guarded by constables.

Minami is ordered not to come closer to either the house or Fish Market than the width of the street.

“At least he can no longer try to snare me into paying any part of his debits. Magistrate Lim made a civil separation of our assets and debits. The Good Magistrate has removed all of the Fish Market's debits that Minami caused by his bad management and has added them to Minami for payment.

���My husband is most upset! He became so unruly in the Tribunal that he had to be put into a cell!”

While Minara was holding the sobbing woman, who was beginning to settle down, Takahara asked gently, “What of the Sea Lion? I saw Narutsu san going up to the Tribunal.”

“That should have been a bright spot for Minami san. They are taking the next few of days to scrape the hull and replace a few boards that have gone questionable. When they go out again, they do not want him along but will still pay his full share of the catch to him.

“He was outraged instead of grateful! They should be out instead of being lazy on land! He blamed all the bottom fouling and soft boards on Dee san of all people! He would not listen to fisherman Narutsu san saying that it was due to his keeping the Sea LION in the water at the dock for too long and not pulling her out for cleaning and drying like all the other boats do.

“Mimami claimed that only his ridding the boat of Dee's vile iron work had prevented her from sinking the Sea Lion, as she caused the deadly sinking of the Chrysanthemum of the Sea!”

“Magistrat Lim stopped him there! The men that Patsu san rescued were in that morning earlier to complain of their being billed for the saving of their lives.

“He had the story from them. Minami had spoken to them several times of the rich fishery that those girls and a few others were hogging to themselves. It should be safe enough if one but used a pole to feel ahead and go slowly so that they could find their way among the rocks. That was working well and they were taking some good fish with lines and hooks.

“Then the tide changed and suddenly there was a strong current called a tidal bore pushing them swiftly! It rammed them sideways onto a reef of lava rocks and their boat was overset. Three of the men could not swim and the sea took them. The others made their way to a rocky beach on Dry Island.

“To make things as bad as they could be for Patsu san, who found and recovered all three of the drowned men, Minami belittled their rescue, saying that she should have used a large boat that all could ride to safety in comfort rather than being towed in ignominiously clinging to floats. That led them to complain to a Constable. That so angered Patsu san that she filed a bill of costs against them for their ingratitude at having their lives saved.”

Takahara shook her head in bemused amazement. “HE caused all of that? Tricked good fishermen into deadly waters and then befouled their rescue that should have been hailed as heroic? And blames it all on Dee san somehow?”

Tanira san took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then she replied, “He is mad. I am sure of it after today in the Tribunal. He blames everything that has happened to him since he was wounded in the War to Unite Corutsu on Dee san and the others of the Shop of repairs. Even where he has been caught in the act of crimes against them, he claims that it is somehow their fault.”

Minara asked solicitously, “Should we close the shop for today, Tanira san? You are most upset.”

Tanira smiled at the genuine caring that she heard and replied, “No, Minara san. I think that work will help to steady me. Besides, I can't imagine that waiting a day will improve our fish!”

While they were setting out several of the small sharks that were now being called sand sharks to be skinned and cleaned, an elderly lady entered the shade of the shop. Her face was a wrinkled map of a smile but her eyes held worry too.

“I have heard already about the terrible row in the Tribunal, yet! I am so sorry for you.

“If you are able, I should like to buy two of those fine crabs and that large sand shark fillet.”

Takahara busily wrapped the lady's purchases and the cheerful tinkle of good cash in the money box concluded the sale.

The day became a busy one. Tanira got quietly thoughtful as she was examining their sales stock. Turning to one of her helpers, she asked, “Takahara san, I am truly grateful for these fine crabs that we are selling but we did not buy any at the dock. Where did they come from?”

“Minara san and I rented one of the Shop of Repairs' small boats last night. We had good fortune and caught seventeen crabs. Miko san only took four as our rental, so these cost you nothing.” She smiled and paused to take a happy customer's cash for a crab and gave Tanira a small hug. “They are yours because we know that you value us and our help.”

Little Ichuru was tugging mightily on skinning tongs to remove the hide from another sand shark. Before Tanira could go to help, Minara gently stopped her. “We made sure that he knew how to prepare one. He wants to do it himself.”

Tanira watched her son as he struggled to pull the skin free of the fish. He had neatly removed the fins and tail, setting them aside. Triumphant, he held up the removed hide, nearly as long as he was tall. He hung it on a stretcher to dry and neatly finished the cleaning and rinsing before taking a sharp knife and neatly cutting fish steaks first. As the fish tapered towards the tail, he changed knives and cut two neat fillets, lifting out the cartilanginous back bone.

Tanira san hugged him, complimenting, “That was a big fish but you did it perfectly! Thank you, Ichuru san. You are a big help here.”

Towards evening closing, they saw Minami accompanied by three constables passing along the far side of the street. He was clearly preparing to yell something but an alert constable tapped him firmly with a cudgel!

“No outburst, Minami san. No unruly behavior at all or you will go back to the cell.”

After a bit, while they were closing up, they saw him again, dragging his things, piled onto a futon and complaining bitterly at the lack of help.

To be Continued

<==PREVIOUS ~~ NEXT==>

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[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 12 Perfection

(As mentioned, this is airing before episodes 10 and 11. So obviously, spoilers below)

-Chat noir absolutely bragging about being in love while helping Ladybug pull a fishing rod. Good for him.

-Also not gonna say I called their dynamic when Adrien and Marinette are in love with eachother, but I TOTALLY called it.

-They fished a boat out together. So someone who handles calculations get on that feat analysis.

-Ladybug’s turn to brag as they fight mr.pigeon

-oh… not everything is perfect. Ladybug still hung up a bit. But more of in a communication way.

-Alya and Tikki trying to calm

-Kagami’s calling and Marinette is panicking because she doesn’t want to let Kagami down.

-My bet is this misunderstanding will be capitalized on by Lila

-Marinette thinks she’s a bad friend for not being at talking with Adrien.

-Now cut to school, Oh Nathanael and Marc using them as models (but totally doing this to set them up)

-Side note where was MY school life of having my class trying to help me get my dream girl? Jk

-the art class totally pretending like they don’t know this is planned.

-I’ll take Nathanael’s Ladrien sketch

-Turns out it isn’t ladrien, but if you squint it is

-EVEN THE ICE RINK GUY

-honestly that went EXACTLY as expected

-oh they got meditation in schools

-wait… Lila helped? She HELPED?

-I’m suspicious

-Oh they beat friends now. Sabrina betrayed.

-They don’t even show the disaster, but consider the mat went flying. I’m really curious what happened.

-Nathanael is out of ideas

-Marinette is trying to practice. Baby girl

-Marinette held that fit several hours? Damn.

-Also please just answer Kagami. She is worried

-moo

-Moo! I’m done.

-OMG HE WROTE HER A SONG

-Side note, Luka is exactly where he should be, pushing for the couple to get together and not wasting his energy. (His eyes still creep me out tho)

-“WHERE CAN I GET A DOLPHAN!?” Kim, you himbo I love you.

-Kagami be sad but thankfully Alya explained what was up. (Wow… good on Alya for doing that. Such a good friend right there)

-Of course it doesn’t help that Marinette is awkward af, and feels awkward with Kagami, since she wants to make her proud.

-The Adrigami is cute. She’s proud of Adrien. Since he is dealing with his emotions

-Marinette’s moo is adorable. It’s cringe and cute

-oh s*** here we go!

-I’m going to make SO MANY MEMES

-no cap… it’s adorable

-KIM GOT THE DOLPHIN!

-DO YOU SEE IT! Look! The Dolphin

-I FEEL terrible for Kagami. Adrien Litterally putting in 100x more effort to woo Marinette than he did with her.

-Also Luka too, since he’s actually helping with the song. But… he seems chill with it

-oh Marinette is entranced.

-(I’ve taken too many screenshots)

-HE SAID IT! He said he loves her

-This is middle school cringe in the best way possible

-And the spotlight on her… oh this is gonna end poorly.

-you ever just… know something is gonna happen but it still causes physical pain? That’s me right now.

-What is Kagami writing?

-Marinette is trying to make excuses for herself.

-Kagami showed up, and now I can just sense what’s gonna happen next.

-it’s a checklist…

-oh no… Lila! I f***ing knew it

-Lila set up a checklist and Marinette failed it, Kagami is playing into Lila’s hand.

-Kagami no! Don’t do it.

-she deleted both contacts

-Lila cutting out Marinette’s face in pictures. Ah like a true psychopath.

-KAGAMI SWEETIE no.

-and monarch is here to ruin everything

-OH BULLSHIT, I doubt you make friends.

-(so it went into her ring… making note of that later)

-Kagami calling out monarchs bulls***

-Giving her the powers she once had… irony

-Sure is Evangelion all of a sudden

-Ladybug rejoicing over an akuma? Well at least she realized it was messed up.

-I want to give Kagami a hug.

-She’s just vibing, yet everything outside is chaos.

-Ladybug and chat noir can’t reach her. Honestly monarch picked an akuma that can’t even react…

-Oh she isn’t a threat.. Nvm she shoots lightning.

-oh they spelling it out for her, clever

-now she on the war path

-ironing beads? Lucky charm

-Oh I think I got it!

-chat noir driving a truck.

-baby girl, Kagami needs a hug

-DAWW! That’s so cute. She deserves the world

-KAGAMI BROKE FREE! That’s my girl!

-SHE DOES DESERVE THE APPLAUSE

-Marigami is so precious.

-I feel Kagami’s pain

-KAGAMI IS JUST AS MUCH A BEST FRIEND AS ALYA! Girl damn!

-Kagami social link maxed out

-NO KAGAMI! Don’t be Lila’s friend

-well I’m sure Marinette will figure out what is holding her back

-Tomoe! I loved how she did that! Also, I mean I know we knew. But her saying it made it real

-He OWES HER, oh snap!

__________________________________________

7.5/10

I feel like it was good. Nothing too earth shaking. But I did enjoy the cuteness. The adrinette is great and I don’t care what people say, the platonic ladynoir is great. The Post relationship pre reveal is good.

Adrien singing was cute. I do want to know exactly what is holding Marinette back.

I do feel I’m missing what happened during kwami choice.

But I enjoyed it.

[dustedmagazine]

Chris Forsyth — Solar Motel (Expanded) (Algorithm Free)

Chris Forsyth marks the ten-year anniversary of his turn from towards rock with this expanded edition of Solar Motel, augmented with two previously unreleased studio tracks and a side-long live WFMU recording of “Paranoid Cat.” The two newly released tracks are a revelation, solidifying and reaffirming Forsyth’s connection to Television (he studied with Richard Lloyd) with cartwheeling guitar riffs and roiling, surging percussion in the epic vein of Marquee Moon.  

Forsyth was just off his 2011 release of Paranoid Cat when he made Solar Motel, stillstruggling for a way to incorporate a palette of influences—Television, Takoma-style fingerpicking, psych and drone—into a coherent aesthetic. Our own Bill Meyer saw him as only partly successful at this on the previous album, calling Paranoid Cat, “an album that is full of good ideas lifted from other people’s work, but he makes such good use of them that it’s easy not to care.”

Solar Motel, Forsyth’s first full-band album, was a big step towards the driving, boogie-ing, rock-leaning long grooves that we have since come to associate with the guitarist. In the notes, he says, “Solar Motel is the first record on which I overtly took rock tropes and twisted them into new shapes, incorporating so many of my interests and influences - the twin-guitar elegance of Television, the sprawl of West Coast psych, the boiled down Rock Minimalism of Rhys Chatham, the abstract tangles of free improv, an undercurrent of ecstatic jazz energy, and the studio textures of Eno/Cale/Roxy ‘70s art rock.… Solar Motel basically set the template for much of what I did for the remainder of that decade.”

The band for Solar Motel included Forsyth, drummer Mike Pride, bassist Peter Kerlin and keyboard player Shawn Edward Hansen, all musicians that Forsyth had worked with previously in various roles and configurations. It was recorded mostly live, though Forsyth put in additional guitar after the fact to build up Television-like layers of interplay. The music took shape in four numbered tracks Solar Motel I through IV.  “Part I” opens with tense, staccato guitar, at first alone, then joined by a second guitar and bass. The groove is insistent, cleanly minimal, and over it, Forsyth improvises warm, fluid arcs of solo guitar, and as it goes, the texture becomes less of a drone and more of a warm, living jam. This becomes a pattern over the next three track, as taut, disciplined motifs blossom into full-band free play. Repetition becomes a launching pad for the wildest swirls of improvisatory ornament, with sweet lyrical mid-range guitar vaulting over motorik grooves.

All that is still there, still striking in the way it marries austere experiment to lighter flaring guitar solo. If you haven’t heard it—or haven’t heard it in a while—all four original tracks remain very much worth a listen. However, it’s the new stuff that you’ll want to spin right away, because these two unreleased tracks take the basic experiment and launch them into richer, more exciting directions.

“Harmonious Dance,” at just under nine minutes, is the expanded release’s best tune. A slow chime of guitar notes hitting turbulence early on in Pride’s swelling drum roll. The notes get bigger, more resonant, more sustained as they go, taking on the burnished glow of Lloyd and Verlaine in tandem (though without the trebly yelp of vocals). “Long Warm Afternoon” starts out with warmth and sustained tones, building shimmering textures of guitar over a steady thump and roll. Both cuts feel less restrained, less tightly disciplined than the original Solar Motel cuts. It’s as if Forsyth had a concept for setting down guardrails and eventually swamping them with sensory data, and it took him a while to implement it fully.

The WFMU recording is fine, too, letting the twitchy glamor of “Paranoid Cat” stretch out, catch fire in a truly insane instrumental freakout and somehow stuff all that back into the bottle for a reprise of the original melody. But if you need a reason to check out this ten years after reissue, I’d look at the two unreleased tracks, where Forsyth and his band hit a groove they’ve been riding ever since.

Jennifer Kelly

[radellama]

33, 36, 52?

33. something you want to learn

I wanna learn a lot of things, but at the moment specifically I wanna learn a bit more about coding/programming. I have been very slowly trying to teach myself html+css so I can make a neocities page, but I'm umm-ing and aww-ing about whether I take an IT course to learn more.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

1 - publish an original work. Ideally I'd like a book published that I can put on my bookshelf, but I also wanna finish Abe and Orc and publish it as a webcomic somehow. Still looking into how I wanna go about that, but I'm still working on it while it's in the pre prod stage 😏

2 - have a film I've worked on have a run in cinemas. I'll take successful film festival entry, but how good would it be to have a new Aussie-made indie film hit cinemas across the country? Possibly internationally? Ideally I'd like to be the writer/director (or both!) but if there's something else I'm part of, like being AD or lead editor or whatever, I'll be super chuffed. To be real I'll be super chuffed even if I have a minor role in a major movie but the dream part of it is that I had a major part in shaping it haha

3 - direct a game that sells. I've been having so much fun and learning a lot about indie game dev the past couple of years while working on jams and such, and I've been co writing and art director as the highest roles for them, but I'd love to direct and write my own at some stage and have it be big enough that I can charge a few bucks or possibly put it on steam. Would love to move up a level in the scope of the games I'm part of, and would love to lead one myself

52. something i’m talented at

Breaking down or constructing narrative, which I'm super glad was refined while studying for my bachelor. (Can you tell I wish there were more film theory classes?)

I've always enjoyed doing this sort of thing when reviewing or critiquing things I love and things I don't, cause understanding and articulating WHY I think that is very fun for me. And it helps in the inverse too, when creating a narrative, I love to fill it with details and ideas to bring the world and characters to life - though often this means I'm going way out of scope LMAO. Still working on that aspect. But when creating narratives, I feel like I'm finally at a place where I can create the kind of ones I'll enjoy reading and writing, and can utilise my autistic pattern recognition to my advantage and arrange things in ways that make sense and feel good to me. And if I feel good about it, I can more confidently obscure the crazy amount of details and leave it as a nice breadcrumb trail for readers hehe

Send some questions from here

[writer-in-theory]

dream of some epiphany

"just one single glimpse of relief, to make some sense of what you've seen..."

summary: after his wife maeve died, spencer was sure he'd never recover. at least he had the knowledge that she'd been an organ donor, that even in her final moments she'd given to others what she and spencer could never have—another chance. a year later, the team coaxes spencer back out of his grief. he finds his relief in a local artist who seems to capture his emotions perfectly in her art. little did he know that there was a reason his heart was drawn to hers. pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader category: hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending content warnings: character death (maeve, not shown but discussed heavily), discussions of grief, mentions of chronic illness and dying word count: 5.8k a/n: hello y'all!! happy valentine's day. i'm so excited to share this one with you, y'all have no idea. for reference, this fic is very loosely based off of the movie 'return to me' because it's one of my favs to watch on valentines day. also, a huge thanks to @reidsbookclub for beta-ing this fic super last second last night!!

masterlist

When Spencer had asked Maeve what one word she would use to describe the human experience, she’d barely thought before saying: sidereal. It hadn’t made an ounce of sense at the time—how could a human possibly be compared to the stars, and their existence the constellations? How could the human experience possibly stand up to the brilliance of starlight?

Standing in front of the Maeve Donovan-Reid Charitable Clinic, Spencer wondered if maybe she’d been right after all. After months of hard work and careful planning, everything finally happened the way he’d always hoped.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” Dr. Bryer spoke, beginning to reach out for a hug but seeming to think better of it.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” How could he? Maeve had been talking about this clinic for years—spending nights at her desk carefully marking out each potential donor she’d need to talk to, staying late at her job to discuss the logistics with her coworkers. Spencer had been there all along, watching what started out as a whispered idea turn into a wondrous reality. “Maeve would love it.”

That was the worst part about it all: the looks. The second her name was said, everyone’s gazes would soften as they looked upon him with so much pity Spencer wanted to scream. Maeve would have hated for her name to be associated with such pain, such tragedy. Still, what else could he do but remember the way she’d looked that night—when everything was taken away from them in a second? When he’d been absolutely powerless to save the one person he’d desperately needed in the world?

Maybe now that the clinic was open, Spencer could remember the way the sun shined perfectly down on them that day when someone said her name.

“She’d be proud of you,” Dr. Bryer spoke again, settling for a reassuring hand squeezing lightly on his arm. His wife’s coworkers had gotten used to seeing him around, usually even asking about how his cases had gone and when his next guest lecture was.

“I know,” Spencer agreed, knowing that if Maeve could see him now she’d smile at all he’d managed to accomplish in the past year since the accident.

Spencer had prepared for a multitude of ways he could lose her. Working at the BAU meant that his loved ones were constantly put at risk because of the people he’d gone after. Never once did he imagine he’d get into a wreck on the way home from the clinic build site, and never did he imagine that he’d be okay while she was not.

And maybe what was so troubling was that there was no one to blame. If something had happened because of an unsub, then Spencer could hate them. He could even hate himself for not protecting his wife of five years well enough. Instead, all he had was some ice that caused another car to slide right into theirs, and all he could hold onto was the fact that Maeve had been able to carry out one final act of kindness before she left him.

Maeve always wanted to look after the world. She dedicated her life to studying rare genetic disorders in the hopes of finding better ways to treat them, and rallied for a charitable clinic where said patients could receive quality care without losing their entire life savings. And when she could no longer remain on this Earth, Maeve donated her organs to give so many people second chances at life.

And Spencer could rest easy, knowing that somewhere in the world Maeve’s heart was still beating, providing life to a wonderful person—a person who would never truly know the beauty of the woman they shared such a deep connection to.

“And what’re you up to this week, Spencer? More movie marathons?”

“No, actually,” Spencer admitted, rubbing the back of his neck and trying not to catch the clinic’s sign in his line of vision. “Derek set me up on a date.”

“A date? Oh, how lovely!” Dr. Breyer cheered, giving him a smile too kind to be faked. “I’m happy for you.”

“Really? You don’t think it’s too soon?”

“Spencer, if I knew anything about Maeve, it’s that she wouldn’t want you to keep grieving alone like this. She’d want you to be happy and loved.” It wasn’t the first time Spencer had heard it but he was sure it would never hurt less. The team had been pulling him aside individually for months, gently coaxing him back out into the world. They weren’t satisfied with him staying cooped up in that house he’d bought with Maeve—the one they were supposed to begin their family in. It hadn’t seemed right to have fun with them when he knew Maeve could never have those experiences again. It had seemed more like a betrayal to move on after he’d promised her forever.

Their forever was only meant to be five years, though. And maybe the woman Derek had set him on a date with wasn’t the one, but at least she was someone. This was the beginning of Spencer’s life without Maeve, and as hard as it was he’d have to accept that there would be love after her just as there was life without her too.

So when the night finally came, Spencer dutifully got dressed. It had been years since he’d gone on a first date—it was tough to remember exactly how to calm the rising nerves in his chest. He shoved them down deep every step of the way until finally, he reached the little restaurant he’d been instructed to go to. It was far out of the way, tucked back in a little corner of D.C. that never truly got the government official foot traffic that bolstered so many small businesses.

And when Spencer saw the woman, he understood why Derek had chosen her. She looked nothing like his wife—all long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, dressed up in a flashy outfit that Maeve would have never been caught dead in. She had a beautiful smile and a warm laugh, but quickly into the conversation Spencer realized that was all he could truly appreciate about the woman. When the dinner was over and he helped her back into her car, Spencer couldn’t say he was upset by the end of the date. She was a lovely woman who deserved all the best in the world, and that was just something he couldn’t give her.

Spencer hadn’t sat at a bar in ages—an unspoken agreement amongst the team suggested he was far too vulnerable that year to be around so much alcohol—but it seemed perfect now.

“That rough, huh?” A bell-like voice called out. The bartender was still standing in front of him behind the counter, mixing up a drink that looked far too blue to be good.

“I’m sorry?”

“The date,” she clarified, “both of you looked ready to leave all night.”

Had it really been so obvious? Spencer ducked his head a little, blushing at the thought of this beautiful woman noticing how miserable he’d been at dinner. “She was nice.”

“Ouch,” the bartender laughed, shaking her head, “that bad, huh?”

“She’s not my type,” Spencer admitted sheepishly, giving a trying smile to the woman who was looking at him with pure amusement.

“So why agree to a date with her?”

“My friend set me up,” he explained, “he said I needed to get back out there.”

“Ohh,” the woman cooed, leaning her forearms on the bar after sliding the finished drink over to the customer waiting for it. “My friends say the same thing to me. It’s been so long I’m not sure I remember how to go on a date.”

“That’s how I felt tonight,” Spencer laughed then, “I felt like a teenager again.”

“Not the awkward teen dates! I remember back in high school I went to the movies with this guy, and I don’t think we spoke once that whole date.”

“Not once?”

“Nope!” the woman laughed, popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word. “But luckily for me, I think my dating skills have improved just a little since then.”

“I didn’t date until college, but I never really enjoyed them.” Not until meeting Maeve, that is.

“Well, Kind Stranger with the Fluffy Hair, I hope you find a good date soon then,” the bartender announced before stepping away to the next patron.

As hard as Spencer tried to forget about that abysmal date, he hadn’t quite been able to get that bartender off of his mind. She had kind eyes, the sort that made him immediately want to trust her. She was easy to talk to in a way he didn’t often experience—not once in that brief conversation did he struggle to find something suitable to say.

So, a week later, Spencer returned to that same restaurant. He skipped dinner in lieu of sitting at the bar, hoping she worked the same nights every week.

“Oh, hey, Fluffy Hair, how’s it going?” that familiar voice asked a few minutes after he sat down. She wasn’t behind the bar this time, but rather coming out from the backroom with a bag in hand. “Find any cute dates recently?”

“No, none yet,” Spencer admitted, “Are you working tonight?”

“Ah, no I just wanted to drop in and say hello to a few people. I actually have this event tonight that’s not gonna be much fun anymore,” she explained. “Normally I have a friend to go with so I’m not alone, but she canceled last second.”

Was she doing this on purpose? Did she mention the opening so he could offer? What if she was just being kind, though, and it would be weird to impose when he’d just met her?

“Do you want someone to go with you?”

“Why, are you offering?” And there, that was it. Immediately the woman smiled, raising one eyebrow just enough to give a hint of flirtatiousness.

“Is it weird to go with a stranger?”

“Maybe,” she admitted, popping out a hip and resting her free hand against it, “but I don’t mind weird. I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Spencer,” he introduced as he followed her out of the restaurant. He followed her down the sidewalk, easily falling into place beside her, hands barely brushing as they walked. “So what kind of event is it?”

“It’s a local art show,” she answered, fingers coming up to twist some of her hair as she spoke. “I have a couple of pieces on exhibit.”

“You’re an artist?”

“What, did you think I was only a bartender?” she teased. “Yeah, I am. I want to do it for the rest of my life, but until it’s financially sustainable I’ll be bartending.”

“What kind of art?”

“You’ll see, Fluffy Hair,” she said with a playful wink that sent butterflies straight to Spencer’s stomach. “What about you? What keeps you busy on weekdays?”

And here it was, the moment that had ended so many relationships before they’d hardly begun. Few people were actually willing to commit to loving someone with as dangerous and time-consuming a job as he had. Maeve had been an exception to the rule, someone who had never once shied away from the difficulties his job brought to the relationship.

“I’m an FBI agent,” Spencer explained, looking straight ahead as he spoke so as to not see her reaction, “I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

“Oh, I saw you guys on the news the other day,” she answered immediately, voice rising in pitch at the excitement. “You caught that guy in Virginia.”

“We did.”

“That must be a really hard job, I don’t know how you all do it every day.”

God, sometimes Spencer didn’t know either. With every year he stayed on the team, it got that much harder to see the point in it. For every killer they caught, three more popped up like some sick hydra. How could they possibly keep up with all of the destruction? He’d found himself looking forward to his breaks as a professor more and more.

“The team I’m on helps,” Spencer admitted, “they’re like my family.”

“Yeah, I guess you’d have to be after seeing all that stuff together. A lot of my friends are artists too. It’s nice they understand the struggles of it.”

“Like what?”

“I’ll tell you later,” she answered easily, “I don’t want to spoil our first date with the heavy stuff.”

She walked into the event space easily, as though what she’d said hadn’t sent a shock straight through Spencer. First date? Was this what that was? Could Spencer really be enjoying himself so much on a date now, after so long?

Turns out, he could. The event space was full of people all cooing over the artwork. There was just about everything in the gallery from sculptures to photographs, each from local artists. Though Y/N had been pulled in so many directions since being there, Spencer was enjoying the brief time he did get to share with her. She had such an optimistic outlook on life, preferring to smile and laugh than discuss any sort of hardships.

While she was off talking to one of her old teachers, Spencer found himself standing in front of a painting. It was done mostly in shades of blue and purple, deep colors swatched across the page. A hand, reaching out with tensed muscles and fingers barely missing the one in the corner of the canvas. The other hand was extended toward the first, reaching up as though begging to be pulled to safety. It was a narrow miss, fingertips gliding past each other as they failed to save the person that needed them.

Spencer understood that grief intimately, the knowledge that he hadn’t saved the person who’d begged for him in their last moments awake.

Then the canvas beside it, this time covered in pinks and reds, hints of orange splashed across it. Two hands gripping tightly to one another, finally getting that salvation the others had not.

“You found mine.” Though he’d only known her briefly, Spencer could recognize the joy of her voice right away.

“You made this one?” Spencer asked, incredulous to the fact that she’d made the art that he’d been drawn to that night. “It’s stunning.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far,” she laughed with the careful humility of someone who wasn’t used to compliments.

“No, really,” Spencer insisted, needing her to understand how talented she was. It ached to think that she hadn’t been told that before, and he would commit to letting her know every day if it meant she understood the beauty of her work. “Everything about it makes sense, it draws out those intense emotions associated with needing to be saved and desperately trying to save someone you love.”

“I guess you’re right,” she conceded, barely looking over her own work.

“I make it a habit to be right,” Spencer teased, “so you should believe me.”

“Is that so?” she played right back, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at him in a way that just made Spencer want to laugh and hug her close. “How can I believe a stranger I just met last week?”

“You’ll just have to trust me.”

“You know,” Y/N began, her entire expression softening as she seemed to consider whether or not to say the words hovering on her lips. “You don’t feel like a stranger to me. Is that weird?”

It would be weird under any other circumstance. Spencer never would have understood what that meant before now—never would have believed that he could be in a situation like this—but now he looked at this woman and understood precisely what she meant.

Spencer knew this woman. He was comfortable with her in an entirely new way to him, like she was an old friend he was reuniting with. Being near her warmed his chest, made him want to smile and dance around the room. This woman already had a space carved out just for her in his heart, and maybe it had been there right from the start. He looked at her and for once didn’t think of all he’d missed out on with Maeve—Spencer only saw how much he wanted to experience with her.

“I’m okay with weird,” Spencer conceded softly, repeating the words she’d first spoken earlier that night.

It was the strangest beginning to a relationship he’d ever heard of, but Spencer was ready to dive right in.

Life with Spencer was magical.

After being told you needed a new heart to live, you weren’t sure you’d ever get the fairytale romance you’d dreamed of since childhood. Since they’d given you a timer to the eventual end, you’d always assumed that you simply weren’t meant to find the love you so desperately wanted.

Even now you weren’t sure what you believed, but it certainly felt miraculous to not only receive the heart you needed to keep going but also to find Spencer.

Spencer, who brought you dinner and curled up on the couch with you on days when moving was too tough. On better days, the two of you would take walks in the park and swap stories of two lives well-lived. You told him about the nights you snuck out with your friends to go hotel pool jumping, and in return he told you about the time his lab team decided to see how much force it would take to explode a watermelon.

You never once told him about the condition that caused you to be more familiar with the local hospital than your best friend’s apartment, and he never told you about the tragedy that caused the pain hidden deep in his hazel eyes.

From the way he’d reacted to your paintings, it was clear he’d lost someone. You’d painted those particular works to let out the grief of watching the friends you’d met at the hospital get sicker while you got the call all of you wanted. You’d painted it for the way you’d watched your chances wither away for years—you watched your family and friends slowly lose faith that you’d recover, and you watched them already begin to mourn you before you were even gone.

You’d painted it for people like Spencer, who had to watch someone they loved leave them.

The pain was unbearable, so neither of you touched it. You locked it away for another time, when this wasn’t so new and beautiful.

Pain demands to be felt, though, so as the weeks went by so too did your period of pure magic with Spencer.

“Hello, is this Miss L/N?” the voice asked as you answered the phone. You’d been getting ready to go see a friend, but when you get a call from the hospital you’d spent so much time at, that takes precedence. Had there been some error they just now caught a year later? Were you going to end up right back there?

“It is,” you answered, voice shaking as you tried not to think of the worst possible scenarios.

“You had requested to reach out to the family of your donor, and I am so pleased to announce that they have agreed to release their information.”

“Are you serious?” You’d called the hospital a few months ago, wanting to thank them for all their family member had done for you. Instead of the sentimental moment you’d been expecting, you were told that the donor family did not allow their information to be released to you. You’d resigned yourself to never meeting the people who’d saved your life, but now suddenly, the opportunity opened right back up for you.

“Even better, they’ve agreed to meet you,” the person on the phone said. Could this get any better? “Could you get down here today?”

“Absolutely, I’ll be there right away,” you answered, voice shaking for a whole new reason now. Would this be a suitable outfit to meet them in? Would they judge you for being the one who received their loved one’s ultimate gift? Was it truly happening, you getting to finally see the people who gave you the chance to live, to love?

You bounced the entire drive over, mind reeling with the possibilities. You wanted to know everything about this person who had given you everything, and you wanted to know that their family was okay.

Getting into the hospital was a blur of signing forms and visitor stickers. You were led through countless hallways until someone told you that just inside that room, your donor’s family awaits.

There was only one hospital door away, one turn of a doorknob away from seeing the most important person you’d never met yet.

And God, was it so much worse when you opened that door.

Because there, standing in front of you, was Spencer.

The nurses who’d cared for you all the times you were in the hospital were cheering, but all you could do was stare at the shell-shocked man in front of you. His hazel eyes widened impossibly large, lips parted as though he’d begun to say something but stopped mid-way.

Your boyfriend was the family. That grief he’d carried with him for so long had been because he’d lost it all the same day you’d been given everything.

“Spencer,” you tried, stepping forward.

Your words must have sparked something in him, because all of a sudden he was stepping back away from you. His shocked expression shuttered away into what resembled horror, anger.

“Did you know?”

“What?” you asked, the words taking your breath away.

“Did. you. know?”

“How would I know?” you countered, trying to take another step toward him and feeling something crack in your chest when he stepped away again. “Spencer, how would I know?”

“Is this some kind of game? You get my wife’s heart and you think we should be together?” The words snapped harshly against you, widening the distance between you and Spencer even more.

He had a wife. A year ago, Spencer had been married. He’d found someone to love and you were one of the few people who had all that was left of her.

Oh God, how had this ended up so terribly?

“Spencer, I didn’t know. Please believe me,” you pushed, tears now obscuring your view of him. “I didn’t know.”

“You had to know,” Spencer snapped. Never once had you heard him so angry, so hurt. His voice crackled with it, sending to you harsh electricity strong enough to stop the precious heart you’d been given. “Do you know the odds of us meeting naturally? Of us loving each other naturally? It’s slim to none. You set this up to fulfill some twisted fantasy.”

“I didn’t!” you shouted then, voice wet with the tears spilling over your cheeks. “Why can’t you believe we love each other?”

“Because you have Maeve’s heart!” Spencer shouted, eyes finally releasing the tears he’d been holding back all this time. “I thought I was over her but clearly I was just drawn to her again. It was never about you, I must’ve known it was her.”

This wasn’t happening. It was supposed to be magical, but all you felt now was that you must’ve been handed a curse worse than Maleficent’s. You were given a chance to live but you’d lost the one person you truly loved because of that same chance. There was no way Spencer was drawn to you because of her, it had to have been you, right? It had to be real, there was no other option.

“Fine, if you really believe that then you won’t have to see me again,” you forced out, trying to steel up your expression so he wouldn’t see you so vulnerable. He didn’t deserve to see that anymore. “Goodbye, Spencer. I hope you find peace someday.”

Each step you took out of that hospital felt impossible. The heart that beat furiously in your chest ached with a pain you had never known before. You wondered if Maeve Reid had known this kind of heartbreak too, or if it was new for this muscle entirely. She must have been wonderful for Spencer to have loved her so dearly.

She must have been everything, to be able to simultaneously give you the world and keep all of the important parts of it away from you.

Autumn always brought with it the best colors. It bathed the world in brilliant reds, oranges, and yellows. It enveloped the city in a beautiful golden light that seemed to make everything feel okay.

Nothing was perfect, but you were okay.

“Are you ready?” your best friend and confidante asked as she adjusted the strap on your dress. “This is the big one.”

“No,” you let out a nervous laugh, clenching your hands together so you didn’t run them through your hair and mess up the carefully done style.

What if no one bought your art? What if, after everything, you still weren’t good enough? So many factors could impact the results of tonight, and very few of them did you actually have control over. Tonight, your fate was left to the people in town.

“You’re so talented, Y/N,” your friend reassured you, giving your arms a gentle squeeze before moving out of the way. “Try to relax and enjoy the night.”

And you would. You would step out into the art show meant only for you, and you would try not to remember the last one you’d been to in this building. All night you’d look around the room and visibly shake your head, forcing out images of you and Spencer bonding over art pieces.

This night was about you, and certainly had nothing to do with him. So you’d smile and thank everyone for coming. Each time a piece sold you’d try not to cheer too much. For every journalist who wanted to hear your story, you’d smile and tell of the woman who’d given you a second chance, how you would not waste what she’d given you.

And when your Stories of Grief paintings sold, you tried not to cry. You’d held onto it for months, not wanting to get rid of the one reminder of Spencer you had. He was well and truly gone from your life now like a terrible, but great, dream.

“I always did love those paintings.” It had been months since you’d heard it, but you’d know that voice anywhere. His voice was soft now, gentle so as to not scare you. Though you didn’t turn your head from the art, you could feel his presence beside you now.

“Why are you here?” you asked, sounding more tired than the anger you’d wanted to convey. Because the truth of the matter was, you weren’t even mad at him. How could a simple word such as angry possibly convey all you were feeling now?

“I missed you,” Spencer admitted, and finally you turned to face him. After so many months, all you could see was that he looked exhausted. Dark circles hung under his eyes even deeper than you’d remembered. His hands shook a little at his sides, and his hazel eyes couldn’t keep still on your face for too long before looking around the room.

“Really? You missed me?”

How could it possibly be that easy? Did he truly think he could walk back in here and win you back just like that?

You wanted him back. There was nothing you wanted more than to forgive him and jump into his arms. Still, the way Spencer had told you everything between you had been a lie—had been because of the heart beating in your chest—still played on a loop in your head. He’d taken a gift and turned it into something tragic, something painted in thorns and ruin.

“I have something to show you.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Spencer,” you told him, knowing that though it would be hard you had to look out for yourself this time. “I have to be here.”

“When tonight is over, please,” Spencer begged, expression melting as he pleaded with you to trust him. “I’ve been trying to find you for weeks. The restaurant said you quit.”

“I realized that job made me feel too safe. Life is never guaranteed, and I don’t intend on wasting what I have now doing anything but what I love,” you explained. It hadn’t been long after Spencer left that you’d quit. Nothing was more terrifying than quitting your stable job to pursue a dream, but it had been worth it.

“I know that now,” Spencer added, “I almost lost you because I couldn’t let go of what made me feel safe.”

“You did lose me, Spencer.” The words hit hard enough for Spencer to flinch.

“Please just think about it. I’ll be at the park across the street if you want to,” he sighed, beginning to take a step away from you. “Have a good night, Y/N.”

It was impossible to focus after that. It was like he’d attached a carabiner to your mind, keeping it tied to him all night. By the time the event was over, you were practically running to the park. What was it that he was so insistent on showing you? What could possibly be there to prove that Spencer really did love you enough to stay?

“You came.” Spencer gasped through the words, sounding like you’d reached in and stolen every bit of air from his lungs. He stood in front of you now, in the little spot you two used to lay out a blanket in and cloudgaze. In his hands were canvases.

“This doesn’t mean you’re forgiven,” you warned, crossing your arms over your chest to hide the way your hands shook. You’d never expected it to be this hard to stay this far from Spencer, to see him and not immediately hug him close.

“I know,” Spencer told you, “and maybe I don’t deserve to be forgiven, but I have to try. Y/N, Maeve was my first love. She understood me in a way no one else had before. When I lost her, I thought my life was over.”

This wasn’t helping. Where could this go now, what had he gotten himself into?

“Then there was you. You came into my life at the perfect time. I was finally ready to move on, but I wasn’t sure there was anyone else quite like her. And there’s not. You’re nothing like her.”

“Spencer, I get it. You don’t have to keep insulting me, we can just p-”

“No! No, I mean you’re so different from her and yet you are one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met. I love you, Y/N, and that scared me because you weren’t Maeve. For once, I wasn’t stuck on losing her, I was thinking about how lucky I was to get to experience this kind of love twice.”

And God, what could you say to that? Tears built up in your eyes now and you blinked rapidly to clear your view of him. You waited for the joke, for Spencer to tell you that he still wasn’t over Maeve. Instead, he added, “I will always love Maeve, but she’s gone. I think I wasn’t ready to admit that until now. But you, I love you in a completely different way. I can’t imagine life without you now. You saved me, Y/N.”

“You saved me too,” you practically whispered, thinking of how many times you’d declined blind dates because you were scared of anything serious. All your life, you’d been told not to make deep connections because no one knew how much time you had left. Now, with a whole life ahead of you, it had seemed impossible to find anyone worth sharing it with.

Spencer had changed everything.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I made an addition to your work,” Spencer admitted, handing you the canvases in his hand. The top two were your work—the hands of those who had lost each other and those that had saved one another. The third was definitely not yours. It was rugged with rudimentary lines and so many bright colors it might’ve hurt your eyes in any other circumstance. Now, you could only brush your fingertips over the surface and struggle to hold in the cries building up in your throat.

It was you and Spencer, you with a hand outstretched to hold onto his. You were lifting him up from the ground, like it was a zoomed out version of your own.

“Spencer,” you choked out, looking to him for any kind of explanation.

“I don’t want to lose you now that I’ve finally found you, Y/N. You’re everything to me,” Spencer told you, his own tears building up and spilling over his cheeks. “I love you.”

And that, well that was everything you could have ever dreamed of. So you made the choice. Life was short and nothing was ever guaranteed. The safe path would be to walk away from him, to go back to your art gallery and make a life for yourself without him in it. You would take the risk though, to rush into his arms now and promise forever.

It wasn’t perfect, but you were happy and that was all that mattered in the end.

And as you walked away with Spencer, he couldn’t help but think that maybe Maeve had been right about human life being sidereal. How else could he explain getting to be with you now? Constellations were natural arrangements of dozens of individual stars, all coming together at the right time to form something truly beautiful.

The odds of each constellation coming together exactly as they had was astronomical but they had defied all odds just as you and Spencer had.

And just like the stars that shined brightly over you, it was beautiful.

GENERAL TAGLIST @samuel-de-champagne-problems @silverhetdanes @ssawonderland @safespacespence @shemarmooresfedora@reidsbookclub @katymarie @mrsobrien888 @writingquillsandpainpills @fightingdragonswithreid @lil-stark @sweetandsunny @stillsleepynat @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @givemeth @foxy-eva @happycamper72 @gubesboo @lilibet261 @redbloodtea @kateyee @exhaleli @m-mhotchner @ilovespencerreidmarryme @darkeunology @beatlesbug @nomajdetective @fairyellieee @meggie-m00n @spencerreid-mgg @frickin-bats@twofacesoftheworldbutnotsome @kaitieskidmore1 @lolalee24 @delicatespencer @serenity-lattes @quietlyignoringyou @goldentournesol @rexorangecouny @sultrypotter @tanyaherondale @reliefplease @reidscardigans @emeraldweasley

ONESHOT TAGLIST @spencerreidat3am @multixfandomwriter @justreadingficsdontmindme @natashxromanovfreads @tragiclilb @nano-noa

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[am-i-obsessed---maybe]

I'm Spider-Man's New Teammate

Part 2 of Are You Captain America's Intern?, go reader part 1 if you haven't already.

masterlist

word count: No clue but it was five pages on google docs so that's gotta count for something.

Fluff, Family Drama, Gender Neutral Reader, Platonic

Summery: You have been officially ungrounded by your father Tony Stark after sneaking off to Berlin to help team Cap escape the authorities and after a small taste of superhero-ing you wanted more. The only problem is your dad wasn't so keen on the idea.

Sneaking off to Berlin and helping Steve and Bucky get away didn’t come without consequences. Tony grounded you for a month and the talks were unbearable.

You two didn’t agree at all and both of you were too stubborn to let the other one think they were right.

“You are a minor. I am the adult responsible for you and if I tell you you don’t get an opinion on my job, that is not an invitation to fly to Berlin!” Tony said during one of your talks.

“If it’s just your job than I live in your fucking offices! I get an opinion dad. Because I live here and I care about the team, they’re my friends! They’re practically my family!”

Arguments like that were common and when you were finally ungrounded they didn’t stop. Tony took your suit when he grounded you. He didn’t want you using it and sneaking out.

That was the first time he confiscated one of your inventions. You hated it.

“It’s my suit! You have no right to take it!” You yelled and Tony was tired of these arguments.

“No. It is my suit. You built it here. In my lab. With my tools. And my money. You are grounded and this suit has invisibility features. Use your brain y/n you can’t have it while you’re grounded.”

You screamed, letting out your anger and stormed back to your room.

You took solace in M.A.R.I.A, being able to rant and update her emotional input responses helped you through the month. And when the month was finally over- you went to pay Peter Parker a visit.

Having a friend your age was surprisingly nice. For one, Peter didn’t condescend to you like some of the adults at the compound did.

He had similar life events to you. He called you once to hype him up before his homecoming dance. It was adorably Peter-ish.

That night you were updating M.A.R.I.A’s voice recognition capabilities when you got another call from peter.

“Y/n you will not believe what just happened!” Peter told you everything from Tony taking his suit to being left for dead under the rubble of a collapsed building to saving Tony’s cargo plane.

You sighed and put the call on speaker phone to be able to walk around your room in the Avenger’s compound.

“Well dad’s gonna owe you your suit back after that” You said light heartedly.

“You think?” Peter asked and you nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “You did save millions of dollars worth of art, weapons and tech”

“That was millions?!”

You chuckled and nodded again.

“Well, when I tried to stop the vulture from stealing it, it kind of… crashed” He admitted over the phone and you burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny!”

“It kind of is”

Calls like that became common with peter. He called you during his little adventures after Tony gave him his suit back. You laughed and joked and he came by the compound to visit occasionally. Meanwhile things stayed tense at home. You wanted your suit back now that you weren’t grounded but your dad refused.

“Why do you need a suit? That’s a rhetorical question, you don’t.” He would say and it infuriated you. He was fine supporting Peter in his superhero-ing but not you? This has been your world for most of your life! You were smart and had a good suit and finally had a friend so why would he not let you try. You weren’t asking to go on missions against avenger level threats, just evening patrols with peter.

“I just don’t get it” You told Peter during one of his visits to the compound.

“I have a great suit, I have an AI system, I trained with Nat! I know what I’m doing. At least as much as you and I just want to go on some patrols” You said as you paced around in your room. Peter came by to train with you and was sitting at your desk listening to you. “I mean, I have superpowers, maybe that’s why he won’t let you, since you know… You don’t have any powers” He said and you sigh.

“But I don’t need powers, he doesn’t have powers and yet he’s leading the Avengers”

“Well, I think that’s a bit different” Peter said and you flopped onto your bed in annoyance.

“I just want my suit back” You groaned into your pillow. And he chuckled, an idea popping into his head.

“It’s not as good but maybe we can make you a new one? It doesn’t have to be as advanced but that way you can go on patrols and show him what you’re capable of!” Peter suggested and a smile spread over your face as you jumped up from your pillow.

“Peter, you're a genius!” Immediately you started making plans, basic sketches and trying to understand what tech you needed versus what you have easy access to. By the time the sun set you had a suit. It wasn’t great, hell it wasn’t even good. It was a tracksuit with some headgear and gauntlets you had been working on while grounded that Tony didn’t know about.

Your mask only covered half your face and you used an only backpack to store some gadgets you had made as a kid. Mostly the usual: smoke bombs, a myriad of stun weapons and grappling guns seeing as (like peter said) you didn’t have powers that helped you get around easily.

That night you went on your first patrol ever, leaving the compound under the pretense of taking Peter home you drove back to New York with your suit and both of you suited up.

It was a relatively calm night and You and Peter were watching a busy street from the roof of a building.

“Have you thought about your superhero name yet?” Peter asked, taking a sip from a water bottle a kioske owner gave him when the two of you stopped some kid from shoplifting.

“I don’t know, it hasn’t not crossed my mind” You stated looking down at the city, your city still buzzing with life.

“Maybe something about how you can be invisible?” Your spider themed companion suggested. “Or you could join the bug squad!”

“Bug squad?” You asked and Peter nodded, readjusting his mask. “All the superheroes named after bugs, even though technically spiders aren’t bugs but you get the point”

You rolled your eyes and though, you weren’t going to join Peter’s bug brigade but you wanted a name that fit, your normal suit let you turn invisible, fly a bit and stun your opponents which meant you could join in on the insect name trend but it didn’t really fit.

“I don’t know, I wanna be my own thing with my own name” you said and peter nodded joining you by the edge of the roof.

“Well you could go for something metal themed? Cause your suit gives you powers” “And be like my dad?” You asked slightly sarcastically.

“Don’t have to be, you could be umm-” He took a moment to think. “Bronze boy?” You both burst out laughing.

“No thanks Spidey.” You laughed and after a few hours you dropped Peter off at home and you drove back to the compound.

You snuck back in without worry but it was the morning after your little escapade that came back to bite you in the ass.

“Y/N M/N Stark, you wanna tell me where you were so late last night?” Your dad asked once you came down for breakfast the next morning. You were the only two in the kitchen while Rhodey was in the connected living area nearby but Tony scolding you was no new sight to him so he kept his eyes on the TV.

“I dropped Peter off and May asked me to stay for dinner, I texted you” You explained calmly. You and Peter had thought this through. What you didn’t expect was for your dad to make a buzzing noise.

“Wrong! Try again, the truth this time” He said.

“It is the truth dad, I don’t know what else you want me to tell you!” Tony sighed at your response.

“Jarvis, search for Lieutenant Iron and show results!” Tony called and the TV where Rhodey was watching the great british bake off just moments before turned to photos and videos of you and Peter as Spiderman and “Lieutenant Iron” as the videos dubbed you on your patrol last night.

Your dad looked at you as if telling you that he knows so you should just confess and at this point the cat is out of the bag.

“Fine, we went out on patrol-”

“Which is the one thing I told you not to do” Tony interrupted and you were slowly losing your temper.

“You fully support Peter -who is younger than me- superhero-ing but I can’t go out with the suit I made? That’s bullshit dad and you know it.” You relented. You hated that you had to go behind his back, you almost never did that. For years as you grew up Tony trusted you because even though he was somewhat lenient on the rules you understood that if he told you no you would find something else. You may have been mad or sarcastic or passive aggressive with him but you respected his rules. Besides he didn’t care if you went behind his back and ate all his chips or snuck a whole box of chocolate but going out and patrolling New York was an entirely different matter.

“I told you no. I explained that it’s dangerous-” Your dad began to say but you beat him to it.

“That’s rich coming from the guy who gave his address to a terrorist.” And after hearing that even Rhodey couldn’t stay out of this. He turned around to face the two of you and said, “they have a point Tony. They can handle themselves and the kid’s with them”

“Rhodes this is a parent child thing” Your dad said but you doubled down.

“No, uncle Rhodey’s right. I handled myself just fine now imagine how much I could help with my actual suit and not just some gadgets thrown together”

Tony seemed to take a moment to think. Already a good sign.

“Fine” He said after almost a minute of silence. “But there are conditions.”

“Your curfew is 12 so you have to be back in your room by midnight. I’ll be putting trackers and parent controls on your suit and you stay with Peter. I don’t want you out and alone patrolling New York, at least for now.” He explained and you nodded, besides you knew you could disable the parental controls he was talking about and he knew it too. It was probably just to ease his mind. Later that day Tony gave you your suit after the alterations he made and you told Peter all about it, including your new Superhero name. Though you weren't sure if you like “Lieutenant Iron” all that much but for now it was the name the public gave you and it was what you would become.

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

nEW SESSION (summary here!), where there’s been an unexpected development to the music issue and its time to [checks my notes] taLK TO THE PROPHET AND BREAK INTO SUSIE’S APARTMENT??? Also, the Prophet and Joey have made.... a truce(???), Prophet is concerned Sammy isn’t going to stay on task now that music is returning and has left him a sort of alarming note, and Jack is uh, trying to hold, too many things, maybe some things he shouldn’t be holding, Jack please put those things back,

anyway heres a stack of out-of-context quotes from our session under the readmore:

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] My favourite thing is, there are so many reasons that Henry could've avoided things that I have no idea WHY Henry isn't affected. [Jack] Like, is he not affected because his art isn't a performance? Is he not affected because he warded his house? Is he not affected because he'S FILLED WITH GLOWING BLOOD?!?

[Jack] He got as far as feeding his cat, and I feel like feeding cat isn't a performance-- [Sammy] Not usually, not unless you sing a song to your cat, which-- [Jack] Awww! [Sammy] -- which, now that I've said that, sounds like something Jack would do actually,

[Sammy] Ohhhh, that's right, Joey just heard some people play some bad notes and start panicking, and then he stood up and passed out, [Jack] Which is probably how Sammy feels every time he hears people mess up music!

[GM] He finds news on the radio, but they’re not talking about that right now. [Joey] What are they talking about? [GM] Something mundane; business or sports or something. [Jack] The, the sportsball team, got a…..uh….. a, a point. Congratulations, sportsball,

[Joey] If the sportscasters sound normal, then Joey is instantly VERY ANGRY.

[Henry] Henry’s not very musically inclined, but he knows some songs, [Sammy] Like, can you hum Twinkle Twinkle Little Star -- [Jack] “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”

[Jack] Jack has made a vague list of the kinds of people who seem to be affected. [Jack] There’s also “NOT HENRY?????” with a bunch of question marks in this list.

[GM] He’s told that Peter is out of town for a week. [Jack] Hmm. [Sammy] PETER WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [Jack] Hmmmmmm. [Sammy] Jack, is Peter coming here, to check on you, [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMMMMM,

[Sammy] *exasperated* NPCs Stop Getting Involved In The Occult Challenge [Henry] Stop Getting Involved In The Occult Or Draw 25

[Joey] Peter had never seen a Bendy cartoon, and this needed to be fixed. [Joey] The premier is this weekend, and he sent tickets to Pete to correct this, error, in his ways. [Jack] ...I think it is very slowly dawning on Jack, that this means that Pete has been pulled directly into yet another… supernatural nonsense... [Sammy] WE DIDNT DO THIS ONE!!

[Sammy] I CAN’T BELIEVE PHONES ARE THE ANTAGONIST OF THIS ADVENTURE

[Henry] Oh wait--! oh, no, nevermind, I forgot he and Allison probably aren’t together yet. [Sammy] Yeah, I think they just met; they had a meet-cute where they found out they both like Frankenstein and that’s it. [Jack] They actually got married today, since nothing else was happening at the Studio, [Sammy] That’s why Allison hasn’t shown up, she was busy getting married!

[GM] Bendy might’ve been keeping tabs on Henry, but it depends I guess on how distressed Joey is seeming. [Joey] Joey is probably just going to bury his sorrow in studying magic. [GM] Okay! That’s fine and normal Joey behaviour!

[Sammy] Sammy will note that nothing got done in the music department, because he has good priorities.

[Jack] I like the idea that it’s just like, when the teacher isn’t in, and nobody does the work the substitute teacher gave you, [Jack] Everyone’s just playing pokemon in the back, [GM] I thought you were going to say “poker,” but I like the way you ended the sentence better.

[Jack] HMMMMMM. I wonder if we know, any suspicious women, who were around on that specific day, who are known to have, skill and interest in magical things,  [Joey] And also were aware of the cutouts, [Sammy] *cheerfully* Yeah, weird! Anyway!!!!

[Jack] Sammy was acting weird about Allison. Far too agreeable for a Sammy!

[Sammy] *talking about Prophet* If you want to lock him in somewhere, or restrain him, I’ll cooperate. [Jack] Just handcuff him to Jack! [Sammy] SAMMY IS UNEASY WITH THAT PLAN, [Jack] *laughing* What could go wrong! It’s not like Jack is significantly less strong or anything!!

[Jack] Not everyone makes up their entire self, Joey!!! (Affectionate)!!

[Sammy] I give my word, my sheep! [Henry] How good is your word? [Sammy] I mean. It’s pretty good.

[Henry] Henry’s trying to decide if it would be rude to doodle during this very serious conversation. [Jack] I mean, Jack is taking notes, so I feel like-- [Joey] --you can get away with fake note-ing. [GM] No one will know! [GM] Well, Bendy will know, because he’s up high. [GM] Ceiling Bendy

[Sammy] He’s not gonna give you a grade afterwards, like, this isn’t a lecture, [Jack] Time for Prophet Pop Quiz!

[GM] What’s Prophet writing? [Sammy] Um, I gotta think about this... [Jack] “Dear Frightened Shepherd, that Allison person sure is nice, isn’t she?” [GM] “What’s up with everyone ragging on her?” [Joey] “I think I have finally found a way to bridge the gap between us!” [Jack] “I think you need to replace your sheep, they seem kind of suspicious for no reason,” [Jack] “To Do List: Get Better Sheep”

[Sammy] Does this feel like something that’s trying to take his focus, like, very compelling creative ideas? [GM] Yes. [Sammy] ...Prophet will write “don’t get distracted” five more times.

[GM] His mind is abuzz with thoughts of dancing and actoring, [GM] Ideas to be the best Joey ever! [Jack] Oh no.

[Joey] He will wave at the cutout and make a “come here” motion. [Joey] Though also, he’s looking at the cutout like, I’m not quite sure how this works, but I’m going to trust you that it works! So I’m going to do this and see if Bendy shows up! [Jack] Like someone trying to learn how to do phone video calls for the first time, [Joey] YES. Joey’s actually like really close to the cutout, and the motions -- you can make them out, but it’s really awkward,

[Sammy] They’re in no danger. I will take care of the Shepherd’s sheep. [Jack] ...JACK’S BEEN DOWNGRADED!! He’s no longer PROPHET’S sheep!

[Joey] I like how everything Prophet says really just feels like, Knife Cat face.

[GM] You could probably make a Mythos roll to figure it out. [Joey] *rolls* Oh! Extreme success! [GM] Joey’s back!

[GM] Bendy will lead Joey back to the room, where hopefully there are three alive, non-fighting boys!

[Jack] Part of me was like, “What if Jack DOES turn into a cat…?! It’d be pretty hard to write things!” [GM] *laughs* We’ll keep that in our back pocket, in case Jack ever fails a Mythos check. [Jack] Meowthos check…

[Henry] I’m going to have Henry look, look with his Special Eyes.

[Sammy] *failing a roll* Prophet is just, NOT on the ball today, in any way shape or form. [GM] Really hard not to think about music. : ) [Sammy] Ohhhhhh boy, [Jack] Prophet just writes a note to Sammy that says “HOW do you LIVE like this???”

[Henry] Henry’s gonna try to scribble what he remembers of the symbol!  [Sammy] Didn’t we learn, from the last scenario, about reproducing weird symbols, [Henry] No.

[Joey] Did Joey get burnt? [GM] Make a dexterity roll! : ) [Henry] *mumbling* Y’all this entire building is made of wood. *Joey fails* [GM] 1 point of damage, you singe your hand -- on the plus side, you kind of were holding it as it burned up, so it doesn’t fall on the wooden floor. [Sammy] OH GOOD, we’re not LOCKED IN A CLOSET that’s about to burn down? GREAT!

[Joey] We could head over to the infirmary -- [Jack] Jack is already pulling the burn ointment out of his bag. [Jack] He’s prepared this time! [Jack] He’s been practicing, he knows what you’re all like,

[Joey] Joey will give him a smile that’s most recognisable as the “I know you will do good!” smile. [Sammy] Prophet will also smile! It is not a friendly smile. [Jack] It’s a “smile” in quotation marks, but it’s like, baring your teeth as an act of aggression. 

[Jack] Jack lets him go to do the call, but just before he picks up the phone, he says, “Don’t call him Petey.”

[GM] The phone rings, and is not answered. [Joey] Okay! Joey hangs up, says Peter checked into his room, but is not answering. Most likely asleep. [Jack] Half of my brain is going, “what if he’s just stood outside Jack’s house?” The other half of my brain is concerned about manias. I hope he’s not decided that now is a really great time to do more writing, and now he can’t stop, and this could go wrong-- [Jack] This is what Jack’s mind is doing, thinking of all the terrible possibilities. [Joey] While humming. [Jack] ...yes. He’s writing some very troubling lyrics.

[Sammy] *talking about Jack’s compulsive humming* Like Cornifer, [Jack] *starts humming Cornifer’s theme* Dangit, now it’s in my head, why would you do this to me? [Sammy] It’s in character! [Sammy] Method acting. : )

[Joey] Joey’s going to grab supplies to make sure Bendy can… hang around with them! [Joey] Sleepover supplies! Let’s grab your sleepover bag! :D

[Sammy] I don’t know why the idea of a wild Bendy running around across the rooftops is so cute to me… [GM] Probably on all fours, [Jack] Scampering,

[Jack] It’s a good thing Henry’s around because I don’t think Jack can… carry??? An entire Sammy??? [Jack] Like he’s good at holding but he’s not strong at holding.

[Joey] We’ve all been acting terrible for the last 24 hours… [Joey] WAIT. We’ve all been acting terrible for the last 24 hours!!!

[GM] Bendy hides under a blanket or something. [Jack] Comfey… [GM] Cozy boy, [Joey] Bendyrito. [Sammy] BENDYRITO,…….. [GM] Rolled up… snug...

[GM] Is everybody coming into the apartment, or just the two? [Jack] Hmmm….. Jack isn’t fond of either of these options. Going in is suspicious and weird; staying outside makes it look even more like they’re breaking in, to steal things, as opposed to, y’know, breaking in, for,,, “good” reasons(???) [Sammy] We’re not breaking in, we’re just walking into this apartment! What’s so weird about that?! [Jack] That’s breaking in. That’s what breaking in is, Sammy. [Sammy] They don’t have to know that we don’t belong here, maybe Susie gave us a key! [Jack] ...they heard us knocking. [Sammy] [Sammy] We’re BEING POLITE!! SHUT UP!!

[Henry] Jack, did you pick up kleptomania.. [Joey] I thought Jack picked up Being Prepared! [Jack] H-he’s just hoarding a little bit!! It’s fine!!! It’s very, useful, see, already Joey got injured!! It was useful to bring lots of things with him okay!!!!!!!!!

[GM] They do not have the police called on them, so that’s nice. [Sammy] Oh good! [Jack] Thank GOODNESS. [Henry] Love when that happens! [GM] If you guys got arrested, the Lurker’s just out in the car all night, [Henry] oh NO, [Jack] Worse punishment than jail… [Joey] Lurker learns how to drive for fun. [GM] *laughs* Gets curious, [Joey] “I said I wouldn’t leave the car, but--”

[Joey] WAIT. There’s a very important factor that we just decided but didn’t say. [GM] Oh? [Joey] If we have Henry heading home, and everyone else sleep over at Jack’s…. [Joey] ...the Lurker finally gets to meet a cat. *everyone gasps* [Jack] Oh that’s SO important

[Henry] And Henry will probably look at these, while in the car, to make sure they don’t have any gold writing on them-- [Sammy] Isn’t Henry driving??? [Henry] ……Henry is not going to look at them in the car,

[Sammy] We’re all going to bed, Sammy, you don’t need a banjo to sleep! [Joey] You might sleep worse if you have a banjo, actually. You might not stop.

[Sammy] Jack you wanna join us? We’re gonna just jam all night! [Jack] It really is Jammy… [Sammy] *laughs* TRUE Jammy!! Real Jammy Hours… [GM] That makes it a pyJAMa party… a real jammy jam…

[eremiie]

𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧!;

❥ 17k words | pure fluff | eren x reader

❥ eren’s birthday is in a couple days and what better way to celebrate it by hosting a party with your friends? only, you can’t help but feel a little stressed out and a litte nervous.

❥ authors note; don’t remind me that this is two days late, i know i know, i needed a break, but i hope you enjoy anyways >:)

4 days.

"connie, sasha! can you guys stop messing around for three seconds?"

connie and sasha turned around at the same time, your hand impatiently drummed against the counter as you gave them an irritated stare. your patience was growing thin as you wanted the outcome of this event to be perfect.

eren's birthday was a couple days away.

it wasn't always that you wanted to prepare events, as a matter of fact it stressed you out a little too much to do so. but, this was an event you wanted to take charge of— you wanted it to go perfect with the help of some of your closest friends.

you had met eren only the beginning of your first year in college— this year. it was the classic i need a roommate, so do you, so let's be roommates thing. it made things a little easier on you, bills were easier to pay, school was easier to get to, and eren brought more comfort to you.

he made you more social, introduced you to new friends, and became a role in your life.

sasha crossed her legs from her position on the floor, setting her arms on the table, clasping her fingers while she nodded her head hastily. "okay, i swear i'm listening now."

"sorry." connie murmured with a scratch of his head. he leaned forward on the coffee table, a look that said carry on staring at you as you stared at him.

you sighed, guilt creeping up on you for the harshness of your previous sentence. "...i didn't mean to sound aggressive, i'm sorry, i'm just kind of stressed." you rested your head on the palm of your hand as your eyes trailed over the sloppy notes scribbled on a piece of notebook paper armin tore for you.

the top of the paper was practically glaring at you "eren's birthday party!!!" slapped between the margins in led. you skimmed the notes, some of your friends name with a dash pointed to what they would handle in relation to the party. you gave the paper a grim look, as you almost couldn't read your own writing.

it couldn't go too wrong right? you felt as if eren was somewhat of a picky person but deep down you knew he'd love anything that his friends presented to him because of the sentiment and thought behind it. eren wasn't too difficult, so why were you stressing so much? you have a great group of friends beside you that were even willing to go through with this birthday party. what was bothering you?

"_____," armin's hand slid to your back, rubbing up and down in a comforting manner. he jolt you out of your thoughts, your head turning to the side to look at him.

a warm smile was on his face, blue eyes almost relaxing, almost putting you at ease. he removed his hand from your back and grabbed your hand that was in your lap, giving it a light squeeze. "you know, for one of eren's birthdays when he was a kid i made him a dirt cake and we sat outside and pretended to eat it." you couldn't help but giggle at the thought of a small eren and armin sitting in the grass playing with dirt. "he was happy enough to hang out with me and do that— he was also happy when mikasa embroidered him the letter E on a piece of cloth. he hung it on his backpack, i'm sure it's still back at his mom's house."

armin looked up to mikasa for confirmation and she nodded her head from behind him on the couch. she looked up to the ceiling, reminiscing on the small memory with a small smile as she fiddled with her fingers. "i'm sure eren would enjoy this just as much as a dirt cake."

"and a tiny E embroidery." mikasa added with a chuckle.

you let your hand smooth over the back of your neck and nodded. "yeah... yeah, he'll like it." you weren't sure if you were just saying that to reassure yourself or saying that because you meant it. either way, you picked up the mechanical pencil next to your elbow and began writing again.

"hitch," you repeated as you wrote down her name, your the end of your h flying as you lifted the pencil off of the paper.

hitch looked up at you from her phone. "what's up?"

"you know a lot of people." she looked up for a second tapping her chin, as if she was pondering.

"yeah... if i do say so myself, i'm a little popular." she shrugged her shoulders with a smirk and you rolled your eyes at her, the both of you letting out a small laugh.

"can you get the word out to some people you know eren knows?"

"who does eren know?"

"you know... besides us, maybe like..." you let your mind wander. eren wasn't the most social person but neither were you. in the least he was pretty known around campus, given his temper and his personality, not to mention his looks. he definitely got eyed around campus albeit only talking to a few people. you weren't surprised when someone waved hey to him while he was minding his own.

"i'm just messing, i'll figure out something." a light bulb went off in her brain, her eyes lighting up. "oh! i could even make a cute little digital flier to give them all the info— armin what's your address?" she had somewhat of a creative prowess that you were thankful for. always willing to help you with minor inconveniences whether it be your fashion choices, socializing with others, designing things, and much more.

armin began to tell her, his voice fading out as you looked towards sasha who now had her head laid down on the table, like you only moments ago. "sash," her eyes looked up to you and she picked herself up from the glass surface. "can you handle the cake and snack ideas?" you knew sasha would be the best bet for the food, especially considering she was currently taking a culinary arts program.

her eyes widened a bit, another haste nod of her head that made her hickory ponytail bounce with each up and down motion. "yeah, definitely! i have a friend that is really good at baking too, i could ask him for help on the cake."

you pointed the pencil in your hand towards sasha with a smile. "knew i could count on you, please spare enough for the party though."

she rolled her eyes hand reaching out to push your hand back down to the table. "shush, i was only gonna eat a couple bites of whatever we make— don't act like you've never treated yourself while cooking." you shook your head, looking back down to the paper and writing food and cake next to sasha's name hiding the small grin on your face. "caught!" she exclaimed, pointing at you with a snap of her fingers. "red handed!"

"oh, shush." you whipped your head behind you to look at jean who was sitting in between mikasa and hitch. "jean," and then to connie, next to sasha, his eyes low and his face straight— a clear look of boredom. "connie?"

the two boys answered with a small "hm?"

"can the three of us go for decorations like on..." you tapped the pencil in your hand to your chin. if eren's birthday was on the thirtieth, and you would be decorating on the twenty-ninth, you'd wanna get the decorations a little early on— better safe than sorry anyways. "twenty seventh or twenty eight?"

"decorations? this is gonna be fun." connie came more alive at the sound of decorations. with a  snicker, he rubbed his hands together like a classic villain in an old cliché movie.

"you guys are just coming with i'm not leaving y'all in charge of them. you'd fuck eren over."

"yeah? like how you wanna fu—" your hand slapped over connie's mouth faster than you could blink, connie's eyes going wide at the abrupt action and yours at the words that were beginning to spill over his lips. yes, you loved your friends but more often than not you couldn't stand them. sometimes you wondered if eren could've chose a better group of people to introduce you to. (in reality? you wouldn't trade them for the world.)

"no!" your response came out louder than you intended, the lot of your friends laughing. "can you not?" you turned back towards your paper, jotting down decorations beside jean and connie's names, your nose almost touching the white sheet with how close you were to it. the tingle of blood was flooding your cheeks and you took it upon yourself to take your time writing the date as well. "decorations, twenty eight."

"yes ma'am." jean replied clearing his throat with a small smirk on his face, glancing to connie before back to you. you sighed and rubbed your forehead.

"yes ma'am." connie repeated, small stifled chuckles trying to leave his quivering lips. you glared at him, and he tried not to smile, clearly dismissing how you were trying to kill him with a look.

armin spoke up, tapping your shoulder. "once you get the decorations stop by here, me and mikasa can help put them up the day of the party. you can come help too— make sure everything looks nice."

your attention was stolen, once again armin being the one who held it. "okay," decorating was already written next to mikasa and armin's names, but you marked the thirtieth next to it as well. "sasha, let's get the cake on the twenty-ninth so that it's closest to fresh as possible. i can come with right?"

"yeah, of course. i can pick you up that morning if you want me to."

that was perfect, you were practically beaming at the way everything was falling in place— everything felt as if it was falling in place, yes, but still your stomach flipped and your brain couldn't help but flood with the idea that something could go wrong.

you pushed the thoughts to the back of your brain and began to fold the paper in front of you neatly. "hitch, can i come over tomorrow? we can work on the digital fliers and figure out who to invite."

"sure, yeah, that's fine with me."

you pocketed the piece of paper and rose to your feet, pulling out your phone to check the time. you had been at armin and mikasa's place for four hours with your friends, and you had only been planning for a little bit— getting distracted was a hobby at this point. or maybe you were distracting yourself just because of the worry that the planning wouldn't go right.

"i'm gonna go," you stepped around the couch gingerly, avoiding the feet of your friends. "thank you guys."

armin followed your steps, standing up to trail after you. "i'll walk you to the door, the rest of them should be leaving soon too." he turned to the remainder, blonde brow rising over his eye. it wasn't a suggestion, you knew he'd be ushering them out the door soon enough.

"thank you, armin." not only thank you for a measly walk out the door, but a thanks to him helping you, keeping you at somewhat ease for the party. he was always so good to you— from helping you study when you needed it, talking to eren when he was upset with you. armin was always a shoulder to rely on, and you wouldn't have met him if it wasn't for eren. "thank you." you repeated under your breath as he opened the door for you.

the change in temperature as you stepped out the door felt better than it should have, the breeze hugged you tight, and you brought your hand to your chest as you stepped down the steps of armin's apartment.

you had a good set of friends on your shoulder, and a good plan in mind that you knew they'd help you with every step of the way. you breathed out through your nose and closed your eyes before turning back to the blonde, two calm oceans watching you with solicitude. "bye, armin." and another one of his warm smiles was thrown back to you as he waved and closed the door behind you.

when you returned to your apartment eren was asleep on the couch.

you moved as quietly as possible, shutting the door as quiet as you could muster. you slipped off your shoes and tiptoed over to the couch, every creak of the floor board felt like it could be heard no matter how quiet you thought you were being. although, when you peered down at eren's sleeping figure sprawled on the couch his eyes were still shut, he was still taken over by sleep.

even in his sleepy state his brows were still knit together, a small pout on his face as you listened to his slow breathing. his arm was supporting his head, the other one draped across his stomach and his hair wasn't in it's usual ponytail, hair messy and strewn about around his head and you almost wanted to let out a laugh at how cute he looked.

even though a bed probably would've been more comfortable, you didn't want to wake him. he looked pretty calm from where he was rested on the couch, eyes fluttering while they were still shut and lip twitching every now and then.

if you didn't know any better you would've bent down to place a kiss on his forehead, maybe the tip of his nose. or maybe you would've shook him awake and asked him to sleep beside you tonight. but you knew better and both of those options quickly dissolved from your mind before you could truly consider them.

instead, you took your time studying his pretty features until you felt like you studied long enough, almost surprised he didn't wake up, wondering why he felt like he was being watched. you spun on your heel and quietly creeped your way to your room, letting out a unsteady breath once you closed the door.

your back stayed pressed against the door as you looked at your feet. the chirp of an owl was almost too present, and if it wasn't for your thoughts you were sure you could've heard the television from your upstairs neighbor. you shook your head and face planted into your pillow, the bed bouncing up and down with the addition of your weight.

were you really worried about the birthday party? is that what was stressing you out?

the more you thought about it, the more it felt like a stupid party wasn't the sole root of your problems.

3 days.

you didn't even hear the sound of eren approaching you, too entranced with what was on your computer screen. when the rough pad of his finger tapped your shoulder you almost jumped out of your skin, your own finger moving quickly to switch tabs, your vision a blur and you not sure what you clicked before your head shot to face him. "eren!"

he put his hands up in mock surrender, glancing between you and your computer screen, intrigue in his green eyes. "what were you looking at?" of course that was the first thing he asked, that was just your luck.

you tapped your hands against the sides of your laptop, letting your gaze dart around the living room while eren waited a response that you were whipping up in your head. "a watch i'm gonna buy... for me."

"can i see it?" you almost rolled your eyes at how inconvenient that question was. your hand went to your mousepad, scrolling over to exit out of the tab, before looking back at eren. he narrowed his eyes as he literally watched you close out the tab in front of his face.

"no." your response was awkward— scratch that, the whole moment was awkward. "uh, what's up?" you shut your laptop as eren rounded the couch to come sit next to you. the weight of his body shifted you a bit, and his presence so close to you made you tense up slightly. his arm swinging over the back of the couch didn't help you either.

"didn't see you at all yesterday. when i woke up i checked your room and you were sleep." he checked on you? your heart practically skipped a beat at the simple sentence. you saw him almost everyday and have lived with him for almost a year now— why did he rack your nerves so much?

"yeah... i knocked out when i got home, but you were sleep when i got back anyways."

"where were you for so long?" genuine curiosity was present in his voice. "i was pretty bored here by myself, you know." his head tilted back to rest against the couch, his eyes still looking down at you as he let out an exaggerated breath.

you gave eren an uneven smile and crossed your arms. "with armin," you almost did a double take when eren's smile dropped.

"you left me to go to armin's house?"

"...i didn't think you wanted to come!" your voice came off defensive, and you quickly lowered it the nearer your sentence came to an end.

eren squinted his eyes at you, if looks could talk his would be calling you an idiot. he brought his head off the couch and leaned forward. any closer and he would be able to hear your heart thrumming in your chest. "you didn't think i wanted to come to armin and mikasa's house... you know, my childhood friends?"

when eren repeated your words back to you they did sound pretty dumb. you frowned, not sure if you were frowning at the boy in front of you or the stupidity of your sentence. your words tangled in your throat as they tried to form, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. eren leaned back, and you felt yourself gain control again, your heart quieting. "it was a last minute thing, i had to go to grab some notes from him and we got carried away."

"you and armin don—"

"mikasa! grab some notes from mikasa. calculus... calculus notes."

almost on cue, your phone buzzed from between the couch cushion beside you and your hand fumbled to find it, pulling it up once your phone was in between your fingers. you turned your phone up right, the blue light shining on your face as you read the small segment of the message hitch sent you. your finger swiped and your thumb unlocked your phone as you read the remainder of the text.

march 27th, 2:53pm

⤷ finished studying. you can be on your way!!!

⤷ i'll be omw in like 10

you looked back up to eren, his eyes already rested on your face. when you stood up from the couch, he still watched you as you maneuvered around the small space of the apartment clumsily. "i'm gonna be on my way to hitch's." you told him, grabbing your keys from the kitchen table and slipping on your crocs that were under it.

"you didn't have enough fun with armin yesterday?" when your head turned to look at him, his was giving you a bored stare, head hanging backwards over the couch, the flyaways around his face pointing towards the ground.

you stiffened at his statement, but nevertheless continued to move, your jacket coming over your arms and your phone slipping into the pocket of your sweats. "grabbing notes isn't fun, i won't be at hitch's for long either. you'll probably be home when i get back."

he pushed off the couch, taking long strides towards you with his hands buried in his own pockets. when he was but a few feet away, he stopped, and your eyes washed over his body. black t-shirt clinging to his skin and the band of his boxers playing peek-a-boo from where they sat a little above his sweatpants. when you snapped out of your thoughts and looked up the door was being held open for you, eren trying to suppress his small smile. "nope, probably gonna go hang out with someone."

"who?"

"you don't know her."

"oh..." you tucked your lip in between your teeth and opened the door wider for yourself. "okay, see you." and when the door shut behind you it somewhat startled you, and the walk to your car felt a little longer than usual.

the drive to campus felt a little longer than usual too.

when you did arrive the walk to her dorm was like expected, you made your way through the hallways, up the steps until you were standing in front of her dorm. your hand rapped her door a few times, a "hold on!" being yelled out to you once you stopped.

typical, the sound of rustling was coming from the other side and you heard her footsteps come closer until the door swung open. "here, here." she huffed out, opening up the door more so you could slip past her and into her room.

right off the bat you knew which side was hers— not that it wasn't your first time, just that she made it painfully obvious.

her clothes were scattered across the floor, and it was almost as if an invisible line was dividing her and her roommates side. a stack of papers and books on top of her desk, light from the lamp behind it struggling to shine through the stack. the other side of the desk looking pristine and neat— if you swiped your finger over top there wouldn't be a trace of dust. posters adorned above her bed as well as a small tapestry. "i see you tried to clean up before i got here."

"something like that," she waved you off, shutting the door behind her and rushing over to her bed to throw a couple pillows down then hopping up on it, patting the space beside her. "you know, i got some of the information down for the flier, i made it look pretty and shit last night i just need you to tell me a few more things."

you slipped off your shoes and hopped onto her bed as well, scooting back and pulling your knees to your chest as she scrolled through her phone.

"look," the device was shoved in your face, making you blink a few times as you waited for the screen to steady, a sage green flier with many small words looking back at you.

your hand wrapped around the phone, and hitch let go to watch your face. "you like?"

"happy birthday eren!" was big and bold dark green lettering, the title for the flier, while an old picture of eren sat to the side that made you let out a snort. beside it was the date and time for the event, as well as armin's address spanning across the middle of the flier from one end of it to the other. your eyes went back to the photo, but before you could get a good look at it hitch abruptly grabbed the phone back. "you don't like it?" a frown was on her face, and she inspected the image on her phone. "different color? is that what it is?"

you pursed your lips and leaned back against her wall. "i didn't say that— and the color is fine..." you stared at your knees as you remembered one of the first times you went into eren's room while he was sick. a tattered dark green cover was draped over his body and when you had pushed him about the condition of the cover— frayed ends and a few small holes here and there, he had told you it was an old gift from his mom and that he liked the color.

"hey," when you looked back up to hitch she wasn't to your side anymore, instead seated criss cross in front of you, hands in her lap and her phone discarded to her side. "what's up?"

you gave her a questioning glance before fiddling with your fingers that were propped up on your knees. there was nothing up with you— could you not do a little thinking? "nothing?"

"girl, please," she looked to her phone, it isolated on top of her sheets the green flier being the centerpiece of the screen. her fingers went to press the power button until the device went black, and your eyes couldn't be on it anymore, forced to give your attention to hitch. "is it about eren? you seemed to really like the picture of him on my phone, even though i stole that from our high school yearbook. he looks off with short hair doesn't he?"

come on— you couldn't possibly get any more predictable than this. "i was just thinking about his favorite color." which wasn't a lie, you were, your thinking just happened to go deeper than just his favorite color.

"you cannot lie to save your life..." hitch threw her head back as she began to laugh at you, her short hair bobbing on her shoulders as her hand came up to cover her mouth while her laughs died down. "favorite color my ass. what is up for real?" hitch knew you liked eren, they practically all did... except for eren himself.

your head fell into the space created between your knees and chest, and you groaned. "i don't even know myself. he just, he just—" a sound of frustration left your mouth, but was muffled by your legs. "i want this to go well for him." you picked your head up, but you weren't satisfied with your answer. by the way hitch looked at you, you could tell she wasn't either.

"keep going, i'm still listening." hitch's head nodded slowly, a reassuring nod— telling you it was okay to keep speaking, her ears were open to hear you out.

"i want this party to go well for him, of course i do; but after today i feel so dumb for putting so much time into it. maybe i'm overthinking it but i told eren i hung out with armin and he told me he was going to hang out with some girl i didn't know, and it just... i guess rubbed me wrong— so now i feel like i'm putting all my time into this for him and it'll kind of just mean nothing, all my time into planning this party that i feel like is stupid. i feel stupid."

it was like a dam broke, your words had flooded out, and you had said more than you wanted to, yet it still wasn't enough. hitch was satisfied— but you? you were not.

she grabbed some of your hair, pulling your head up by it. surprise danced across her features, surprised to see you weren't weeping, albeit your voice sounding shaky when you spoke. "i haven't seen eren pull anybody ever since we were in high school together, i doubt he all of a sudden has a girl or whatever." she gave you a half smile, hands coming up to grab yours, and your legs slid down into a criss cross position as well.

"plus the party isn't stupid and you're not stupid. it's not about how you feel about eren, it's about giving him and us a good time for his birthday. did you forget that it's for his birthday? shit, if you don't wanna plan it, i will— admissions gonna equal a bottle of booze." her chuckle was contagious and your lips couldn't help but upturn as you let one out too.

"listen, whenever i have a crush on someone i just go for it, you know? just tell him. maybe he was just trying to get you jealous or something." she shrugged her shoulders, while she played with your hands that were enveloped in hers.

"we live together, i don't wanna make it weird."

'it'll only be weird if he says no."

"which is a big possibility."

hitch glanced off to the side before letting her eyes settle on you again, her lips shifting as she looked for what to say. "um... but he could say yes too. you won't know if you don't ask. if you're not willing to move forward and take the risk you don't like him that much. if he says no eventually the two of you will go back to normal anyways." you did like him that much, you were just an anxious mess. especially when he was around; which was quite ironic considering you spent most of your time around him.

you let hitch's words sink into your flesh as you stared at her thumb smoothing over the soft skin of your hand. she wasn't totally wrong, you wouldn't know unless you asked, and nothing would really happen until you asked either.

"do what you will with that information." hitch cleared her throat, letting go of your hands and shuffling to sit beside you, grabbing her phone on the way, then turning around to sit her back against the wall as well. a thick silence fell over the two of you, and if it wasn't for how close both of you were it would've been awkward— for you, it was you and your thoughts talking, but for hitch?

"so... who are we inviting again?"

2 days.

"what do you think of these?" you flipped over the packet of balloons examining the details scribbled on the back, waiting for a response— but to no avail. you didn't receive one.

you turned around, expecting to see a nest of ash brown hair hovering over you as well as doe hazel eyes, but jean and connie were nowhere to be found. a groan of annoyance left your lips and you slipped the packet of balloons into the shopping basket that was hooked around your arm. "i guess these will do."

today felt slow, no progress felt like it was made albeit you running around a family dollar looking for simple birthday decorations, while your friends ran around looking for only God knows what.

you weren't sure if it was because this task was somewhat easy, or maybe because in a couple hours you'd be returning to your shared apartment with eren, continuing to sneak around as if you weren't planning an event. continuing to have to ignore his questions when you'd come in a little later than you usually do, because if you had said you were hanging out with one of your mutual friends he'd look at you funny— ask why you didn't take him with you.

he wasn't wrong, his friends were his friends before they were yours; he is the one who introduced you to them, you all of a sudden devising your own plans with them and seemingly having the time of your lives while he sat back at home of course rubbed him weird.

he didn't question you too much though.

he knew his birthday was coming up— he might be dense but he wasn't completely stupid. although he had no direct hint to you planning anything for him, his friends planning anything for him, the lack of mention of his birthday being soon was almost alarming. he hoped your running around without him had at least a little to do with his birthday.

and for that you thanked him, because besides your little crush on him, the whole mess surrounding his birthday made your stomach churn, having to keep something from him for so long racked your nerves and made it even harder to be around him just in case something accidentally slipped.

you dragged your feet to the isle next to you, peering down it to see the two boys you were looking for, jean and connie. you noticed them before they noticed you, connie's hands grabbing at something and throwing it in the basket in jean's hands. "guys," you said loud enough for them to hear, both of their heads whipping to look to you.

both of them slowly made their way towards you until you met in the middle of the aisle, your arm crossed and your lips pursed. "looking for decorations was fun by myself." your tone was sarcastic, and connie caught on nose scrunching at your comment, his hand coming out to pat your shoulder.

"listen, listen— i was getting eren's birthday present!" he replied, giving you a crooked smile.

your eyes darted between connie, jean and the small basket in his hands, dumbfounded. were you missing something? you didn't see a "birthday present" anywhere. you glanced back up to connie, confusion littered on your face. "where?"

connie's smile dropped, quickly turning into a frown and jean let out a short chuckle, connie glaring at him. he pointed towards the basket, then grabbing it and tilting it towards you. "snacks, and candy and shit. who doesn't like snacks?"

you looked into the basket, and inside was an arrangement of snacks— none that you could remember eren eating, maybe besides the flimsy bag of potato chips and sour gummy worms. "it's the thought that counts." you mumbled mostly to yourself, but both the boys in front of you heard, connie rolling his eyes and letting go of the basket.

it was ironic, because if it was just the thought that counted to you maybe you wouldn't be stressing so much over the party you were in the midst of planning. you wish you could take your own advice, and maybe be like connie and do something simple for eren without beating yourself up too much.

"shut up— we need to get a bag for it." connie mutters, but you knew he wasn't genuinely upset, he could care less what you thought of his present. if it was something he enjoyed it was most likely eren would enjoy it too. at least that's what he told himself.

"we need to get everything else for the party too— you guys left me when i was looking for balloons." your hands flew out from your sides, clearly exasperated with their lack of care for stranding in you in the isle over without a word.

"we didn't leave you, we just went an aisle over to get his gift."

"so you left me?" connie's eyes slide over to jean, who walked past the two of you, clearly trying to leave the store as soon as possible, or maybe dissociate himself from the small ruckus you were creating in the middle of the store.

"technically, no..." he murmured, walking past you as well, and you brought your hand to your forehead before speeding up your pace to catch up to jean, walking beside him instead of behind with connie.

the three of you walked in silence until you reached the decorations aisle, fingers brushing over the arrangement of decor, but you were mainly focused on the miscellaneous decorations, party streamers, tissues, table covers, and much more you couldn't name.

"jean?" he looked down at you, standing next to your figure who was crouched on the floor to be head on with the decorations seated on the small bottom shelf.

"what's up?"

you picked up two packs of table covers, in each of your hands, standing up and examining both packages, the only difference being the colors. "which one?"

jean took the white pack from your hands, turning it over then grabbing the dark green pack from your hands and looking it over as well. "they're both nice to me." he shrugged. he didn't see why the color of the table covers, or any decoration mattered so much. like you he knew eren wasn't too picky, yet you still continued to try to perfect every aspect of this party.

"well, which one do you think eren would like?"

jean furrowed his eyebrows at you, dropping both packages into the basket in your hands opposed to his— although he was helping with the party he wouldn't be paying for anything he didn't need to. "eren wouldn't care, _____."

you sighed, eyes drifting down to the new contents of your basket. "yeah, but—"

"just get both, and decide when we go there, he'll like either."

you fiddled with your hands, nodding your head and walking past jean to the party streamers— you didn't ask for his opinion, reckoning you'd get the same answer, so you slipped both the white streamer paper and dark green into your basket, making your way towards connie who was plucking a small paper bag from the rack.

"i'm gonna put it in this bag." connie said as soon as you had stopped in front of him, shoving the bag in your face, your hands coming up to lower it so you could see it more clearly. it was nice, a small blue bag with "happy birthday" sprawled on the front, in sparkly letters, and you smiled at connie who pulled it away from you.

"that's nice, i should get a bag too for his present shouldn't i?"

"well you're not putting it in a box are you?" you shook your head, it'd be better to put it in a little birthday bag then having to spend time wrapping it, so you stood in connie's place who moved aside to let you take a look at the arrangement of bags.

there were so many, but a pretty white one caught your eye, it was simple, happy birthday written in small text on the front in black, a period ending the short statement. the paper bag had two black ribbon handles that were rough to the touch when you had pulled it off its rack. "this is nice too, right?"

connie looked to the bag in your hand, nodding his head. of course he'd think it's nice, he wasn't like you— it made no difference from the bag in his hand. they were both made out of paper and both could complete the same job. you wished to have that mindset. "yeah, what did you get eren for his birthday?"

your eyes widened slightly, you were somewhat surprised he asked— or maybe surprised that he was the first to ask. you took pride in the gift you had bought him when others asked or when you had explained what it was to mikasa, but when it came to eren you were a little nervous to know if he'd like it or not. "just this custom watch, i thought it would be thoughtful."

jean came up behind connie, connie placing his bag into jean's basket. "yeah, i think he'd like it, i mean— i don't wear watches but i'd wear it once or twice."

you narrowed your eyes, scoffing at connie. "well good thing the watch isn't for you, let's go." connie shrugged his shoulders, and you went to grab paper plates and cups, even party hats just for the gag of it, soon enough making your way to the check out and buying all the supplies. your total was higher than you expected, and you blamed your indecisiveness, yet you would still buy whatever was needed for the party at hand.

the three of you loaded into jean's car, you placing the bags beside you and your phone buzzing. you pulled it out of your pocket to check the notification, a message from eren. you swiped left, having to swipe a couple times because of how fast you attempted to open the message. it was rare he texted you when you were out, especially when he knew you were out.

march 28th, 4:47pm

⤷ [attachment 1 image]

⤷  your package? where do you want me to leave it?

you knew right off the bat what it was, the watch you had just told connie about. when you had last checked the shipping date it wasn't scheduled to come today— it was one day early.

march 28th, 4:48pm

⤷ put it in my room, thanks

⤷ okay

you had dropped your phone into your lap, looking out to the window but it buzzed again, and you scrambled to pick it up once more.

march 28th, 4:53pm

⤷ wya?

⤷ in the car, i'll be home soon.

"can you guys take me home first, actually? we can take the stuff to armin's house the day before eren's party." you leaned forward so jean who was driving, could hear you, his head turning slightly as he listened.

"why?" your phone buzzed again, and just like that you forgot about the conversation at hand, diving to pick up your phone, eager to see what eren had sent now.

march 28th, 4:55pm

⤷ your car is here

⤷ oh, you're with who?

⤷ jean and connie

"i just want to go home for now, it'd be easier if we just brought everything over there when we go decorate." and even though jean disagreed, he began the route to your place instead, deciding not push any further.

although your phone didn't alert you that you got another notification, you went to go check anyways, grasping the device in your hand as you went back to you and eren's messages.

read, 4:55pm

you didn't even realize the small frown that was painted on your face, you placing your phone back into the pocket of your jacket, settling down into the seat you were sat on.

"yeah, take me home first."

1 day.

"how's this?" sasha tilted the bowl of frosting towards you, and you took a glance, the frosting a pretty shade of green, much like the flier hitch showed you two days before.

you nodded your head, "yeah, that color works.", and your friend smiled, spinning on her foot to place down the bowl of frosting beside the one of icing. she seemed more excited then you about the making of the cake. not to say you weren't excited, but it was more accurate to say you were highly strung about how it would turn out— more than you should have been.

"nico, grab the cake, i think it's chilled long enough." she dipped her finger into the bowl of frosting, putting it up to her lips and humming at the taste. "oh, yeah, that's good. eren better like this!" and you hoped he would too.

you tsked, grabbing the bowl and moving it over so niccollo could place the cake on the counter next to it. "what design are you thinking?" he asked, arm draping over sasha's shoulder as the two of them stood in front of you. although they didn't date you couldn't help but find them cute. you wondered if sasha or niccollo were in the same dilemma as you— only it seemed that their feelings were reciprocated opposed to you and eren.

you pondered for a second, recalling what you had thought up a couple nights ago. it was simple, "pipe the edges with one of those swirly tips, with the white icing, and.. write happy birthday in the middle. small letters." the small letters were somewhat of an improvisation, it reminded you of the small letters on the front of the gift bag you had got for eren.

as you spoke, sasha moved to grab the pipe tips and piping bags, as well as a spatula, placing the utensils down onto the surface next to the frosting. "i can see that in my head— it's gonna be so good, it's gonna look so good." she glanced up at niccollo, and he was already looking at her, a small smile on his face. "can i frost?"

"...you can frost with the green, i'll do the white; the piping and the words."

sasha beamed, clearly happy with whatever she could get, and she grabbed the spatula, scooping up some frosting and beginning to spread it across the cake. she smoothed the thick coat over the swirl cake, trying her best to cover the top, and you could already envision what it would look like in your head, and it wasn't bad. sasha wouldn't dare for it to look bad with how ecstatic she was to be making it, and you were sure niccollo wouldn't either.

it was mainly your idea, and niccollo and sasha would bring it to life. you would hope eren would like it as much as how much you liked the image of it in your head. "so what did you guys buy for snacks?"

niccollo made his way over to the sink, washing his hands before flinging them so water droplets flew in the sink. "well we bought the basic stuff, chips for the guac, candy for the bowls, and some drinks, plus beer at your friend hitch's request."

you laughed, hitch wouldn't be the only one enjoying it, the lot of you guys liked to drink. you knew eren would be appreciative at the gesture. "it probably wasn't just hitch who wanted it." you watched the blonde dry his hands, leaning against the sink counter. "so you're gonna make the guac, the guac for the chips?"

he nodded his head. "oh, yeah of course. i just can't make it today, i'll make it at... armin, armin's house?" his response was a question, and you nodded as well, letting him know he was thinking of the right person. "yeah, sash will get the stuff and i'll make it that day so it can be fresh."

"okay, that's good. are you gonna come to the party too?" you didn't know him personally, only having met him through sasha who you didn't know how she met him. she had seemed to have taken a liking to him, and you just followed through. after all like you said, they were cute, you wouldn't be surprised when sasha would break the news to you.

"no, i have work that day... i'll be there beforehand to help sasha and you, and everyone set up, if it helps."

"no, yeah— it'd be a lot of help." you gave him a small smile, sliding over more towards sasha to check on the cake. "so, out of curiosity; how did the two of you meet?"

sasha grinned at the question, grabbing some more frosting with the spatula and slapping it onto the side of the cake. she didn't give niccollo time to answer, mouth opening to do so for him. "culinary class! he's so fucking good at cooking, like how?" she tilted her head back to direct the grin on her face at him, and he gave her one back.

"yeah, sasha's not too bad herself either. how did you and sasha meet?" his words sounded like an understatement and you chuckled.

but you and sasha meeting? it wasn't much of a story to tell. "oh, just through eren at the beginning of last semester."

"eren? the birthday boy?"

"yeah, birthday boy... he introduced me to all of them really, nothing special." you shifted on your feet, hands coming together so you could play with your nails, looking down at your hands.

"tell me about you and birthday boy— how did the two of you meet?" you didn't know someone could ask so many questions, but it wasn't like you didn't ignite the conversation to save from the silence.

sasha's shoulders bounced as she laughed softly, and although you couldn't see her, her still smoothing away at the almost completely green cake, you glared at her.

"he's my roommate. i needed one and he needed one, and you know how that goes."

niccollo raised a brow. he clearly caught onto the way you tried to brush the topic off too fast, but so did sasha despite her being occupied. wasn't he majoring in culinary arts? not psychology— there was no reason for him to read you that fast. "and how does that go, _____?" sasha titters and you could tell she was smiling from the tone of her voice.

"fine." you were blunt, your voice montone apart from the small falter at the end of your sentence. "it's cool, having a roommate, he's nice and fun to have around."

sasha's expression mimicked niccollo's, her arms crossing and her brow going up before she walked over to the sink and began to wash the spatula, the water somewhat saving you from the awkward silence, the same one you had tried to stop earlier. sasha broke it though, and in the worst way she could.

"she likes him."

your hand slapped your forehead, and you let out an exasperated groan, both sasha and niccollo laughing at you, but sasha must've felt somewhat bad, a pout on her face as she came over to pull you into a tight hug. "sorry, but you weren't gonna say it and it's kind of obvious."

"well you didn't have to say it out loud." you didn't hug her back, one hand sliding down your face, and the other hanging at your side.

"well how else would nico know?"

"he doesn't."

nicollo took over sasha's place at the counter, not phased by your reluctance to tell him. he tidied up her small mistakes when she was frosting the cake. "sash, can you fill the piping bags?" sasha pranced over to the piping bags after letting go of you and her hands grabbed them, placing the tip on the bags and then rummaging the drawer for a spare spatula, using it to scoop up some of the the white icing and stuff it into the utensil. "so you like him?"

you sighed. she didn't have to repeat it, but still you nodded your head, and then realizing he couldn't see you. "...yeah."

"she won't tell him though." sasha added, dipping another finger into the icing and sucking it off her finger once more. did she have to reveal everything? "i don't see why, if it was me i'd just tell him, what's the worst that could happen."

your eyes glanced between sasha and niccollo.

that was ironic.

"just tell him, who knows, he could like you back." the conversation sounded too familiar, and you rolled your eyes, why did everyone think this was such an easy feat? niccollo leaned towards the cake, icing squeezing out of the pipe creating an intricate swirl that was being detailed around the circumference of the cake.

you folded your arms against the counter you were leaning against, and let out a huff of breath. "it's not that easy. we're roommates, things will be awkward." and you felt like you were repeating yourself— is this what people called deja vu?

"i think eren might like her back." sasha moved the bowl of white icing onto the other side of niccollo and hopped onto the counter beside him, placing the other bowl in her lap, fingers tapping against the sides.

"why?" you were curious, you didn't think anything hinted that he could like you, especially not with the encounter you had with him when you were leaving for hitch's.

"i don't know," she shrugged. "when you guys first moved in together he would always talk about his," she mimicked his voice, "new roommate."

you blinked, then blinked again, arms unfolding and you picking yourself up from the surface you were leaning against. eren talking about you? you wanted to hear more. "that's it?"

another shrug, and another scoop of frosting. "i mean, he talks about you in general too."

"what does he say?"

sasha squinted at you, shaking her head. "i said in general," and her hands went up into quotations, "me and ______ are going to do this, last night me and ______ did this, shit like that."

your stomach twisted, and your legs felt a little wobbly. you cleared your throat, and you wanted to speak but you were a little bit in... shock? but niccollo spoke instead, "i finished."

sasha made a small noise of joy, hopping off the counter she was seated on and pushing over the bowl of frosting, peeking around niccollo to see the cake.

you padded over, standing next to sasha to see the cake as well; and it was pretty.

swirls danced across the edge of the cake, the white contrasting the soft green that was painted over the it and smoothed over almost perfectly. in simple bold letters, "happy birthday, eren." detailed the center, a small heart added to the end.

"it's nice... i really like it, yeah, this is what it looked like in my head." and you weren't lying, it almost was like a carbon copy of what you envisioned, and you were almost surprised at how well niccollo and sasha pulled it off, not that you should be, you did ask for help of two culinary art students. "thank you, thanks so much."

your face was lit up, and sasha and niccollo gleamed smiles at you, delighted that you were happy. being able to make you happy seemed to be enough for them. "glad you like it," he said, and you pulled out your phone to snap a quick picture, pressing the device to your chest. "i added the heart for you."

your eyes rolled back but you couldn't help but chuckle, another "thank you" leaving your lips and your eyes not leaving the cake, even when he went to put it in the refrigerator. once the cake wasn't in your line of sight anymore, that nervous feeling returned out of nowhere, for no reason, and your hands felt sweaty, phone almost slipping from where it was pressed between your chest and hand.

sasha caught on, grabbing your other hand and letting her fingers fall between yours, hands clasped together, and she was radiating solace, sucking up your worries and dispelling them for you.

"he'll like it."

"you sure?"

"of course! i'm sure."

happy birthday, eren.

it wasn't a normal occurrence for you to cook eren breakfast— as a matter of fact you couldn't recall ever cooking breakfast for him.

making dinner? yeah! there were plenty of times the two of you twirled around the kitchen, bodies bumping and fits of giggles bouncing around the small space, while you muttered "sorry!" to each other every now and then.

for now, it was just you.

eren hadn't woken up yet, and so to do him a birthday favor you decided to make him a birthday meal.

you flipped the pancakes cooking on the stove, sauntering over to the fridge and pulling out the package of bacon and plopping in onto the top of the counter. you felt like you had been in the kitchen at least every day now, and you couldn't remember the last time you had actually sat down to participate in one of your hobbies, or to relax. you sure were taking this upcoming event seriously, and you were glad your friend were too.

your fingers tapped against the steel of the fridge handle as your eyes skimmed the contents of the refrigerator; you felt like it wasn't enough, there was nothing special to you about some flimsy pancakes and bacon, so you grasped the carton of eggs and closed one of the fridge doors, leaning towards the side to plop them next to the bacon.

when you turned back around to close the other door, there eren stood, you practically jolting out your skin. "jesus!" you all but screamed, your hand flying to your chest and you stumbling backwards at his abrupt appearance. "eren!"

he chuckled, closing the fridge door for you and stepping forward to stand in its place. "g'morning." his voice was still groggy with sleep, and he still looked sleepy— his eyes still swollen from it, hair messily framing his face. his hair tie must've fell out while he tossed and turned.

your hand fell from your chest and dropped down to your side, tugging your shirt lower and fumbling with the fabric while your eyes glanced around the small kitchen. "morning."

"just morning? aren't you forgetting something?" you gave him a crooked smile, and he stepped forward until his hands wrapped around your shoulders, pulling your frame against his until you were engaged in a hug, minus the fact that your arms were still awkwardly against your sides.

your body began heating up and you felt like you lost control of yourself for a minute, hands taking a bit too long to wrap around eren as well. it was nice, he felt warm, and he brang a sense of comfort, so you relaxed against him a little more. heck, you didn't need time to sit down and relax or do a hobby when you had eren. he was enough to give you a break, just being around him was enough.

"happy birthday." your voice was merely above a whisper, but he heard it— a hum that could be heard through his chest, where your head laid.

"thank you," he said audibly, pulling you away, and you wished the hug could last for a little longer, hesitantly pulling back too and letting your hands smooth over the sudden goosebumps on your arms from the air of the room. "your pancake."

you quirked a brow at him, until your eyes followed his finger, the pancake on the stove that had been there longer than it should have, and you scrambled over in realization, eyes going wide as you fumbled for the spatula, slipping it under the pancake and flipping it over to check the underside. it wasn't burnt— the underside was just a little browner than it should have been. your free hand brought the plate next to the stove closer and slipped the pancake off the pan onto the plate.

"what woke you up?" you asked, as your hands went to grab the bacon and an extra bowl, turning down the heat of the stove and moving to strip the bacon from its packet, setting them down on the pan.

"the smell of your cooking." he smiled, arms crossed from where he leaned against the fridge. he slinked over, until he was behind you, peering down as you placed the last strip of bacon on the steel pan. "who's the breakfast for? me?"

you let out a small laugh, cracking two eggs in a bowl and eren followed along as you moved to the counter, then to the spice rack, grabbing two small spice jars and sliding back to your bowl. "yeah, actually. it's your birthday, right?"

"yeah." he moved over to the fridge, grabbing the bag of cheese and throwing it down onto the counter you were working at. "i like cheese in my eggs." you shook your head but your hands still moved to grab the bag, fingers pulling the seal open and your hand dipping into the bag to sprinkle some into eren's eggs. it was his day after all.

you didn't even realize he had moved from behind you until you heard the sizzle of the bacon on the pan, his hand setting down the spatula, and only then did you realize he had flipped them for you— his head turning towards you to watch you make the eggs, you whisking at the mixture. "thank you." you said softly, eyes lingering on his curious expression before turning back to the eggs. "anything you doing for your birthday?"

it was funny, how you asked that as if you and his friends didn't plan out a whole event for him alone.

he shook his head, as you expected and you couldn't help but let a smile creep on your face as you walked over to the stove, checking on the bacon, and eren taking your spot near the eggs. he slowly began whisking at the mixture despite them already being mixed. it was a domestic feeling, one that you felt before yet it still felt fresh, still felt new and it still made you want to live in moments like these forever.

"nah, you wanna do something with me?"

your lip twitches, and you place the bacon next to the stack of pancakes. the oil drifts to the side as you lean the pan and simply stare for a few minutes, before going to the sink and dumping it. you wiped the side of the pan and spread oil onto it before placing the bottle of oil down and reaching your hand out for eren to pass you the eggs.

he does, his fingertips sliding over yours as he passes it along, and you pour it into the pan, then turning to drop the bowl in the sink. "omelette or scrambled? and you wanna go to armin's later today?"

he scoffed, fingers drumming on the now empty counter he was leaning against, like he was in disbelief that you wanted to go there again; and it seemed that way from his next sentence, him practically bringing your thoughts to life. "scrambled, and you wanna go there again, you've been there like twice this week? what's at armin's?"

the spatula flipped in your hand, and you frowned at eren. "nothing, we should just go there for a get together— it's your birthday after all." your gaze shifted to the plate of food. "can you get another plate for me?"

although eren didn't answer, the sound of plates clinking as he reached for another plate, and the closing of a cabinet told you he complied. he placed it beside the other plate, sliding two pancakes onto it, including the almost burnt one. "two pancakes on your plate?"

and you nodded your head, "no bacon." you scraped some of the eggs onto eren's plate and scraped the remainder onto yours— you weren't too hungry, but you wanted to eat with him, so you made yourself a little too. "so can we go?"

eren's eyes followed you to the sink, where you placed the pan down, the steam rising from the water hitting the hot pan much like the steam rising from the eggs. you came back over beside him, hand patting his side lightly to signal him to move over a little so you could open the utensils drawer. his answer was reluctant, but you didn't think it was necessarily because he didn't want to go— you weren't sure what it was. "i guess, what time?"

you grabbed two forks and two spoons, placing them onto each plate and clasping your hands together, in content at not only the two full plates (if you'd consider yours full), but also at the confirmation from eren next to you. "like... seven? i'm gonna leave earlier though... i have some errands to do."

eren raised a brow, but shook you off, as if he just accepted you running around the usual now. he grabbed his plate and you grabbed the syrup before following behind him until both of you were sat at the dining room table. he couldn't help but still question where you were going though. "what errands?"

you repressed yourself from rolling your eyes, sliding the syrup across the glass table until eren's hands were wrapped around it, popping the top open and drizzling the sticky liquid over his pancakes. "i'm just gonna run to the store real quick, we'll meet up at armin's place."

eren once again didn't respond, pushing the syrup back towards you and poking at his pancake.

with a small sigh you slipped your phone out of your pocket and unlocked it, pressing a few buttons until you and armin's messages were open. your fingers danced around the screen until you began typing.

march 29th, 12:34pm

⤷ i might have to come a little later than i wanted to, spend some time with eren

⤷ ok, i'll text them to come earlier!

⤷ tysm, i'll probably come around 5

you placed your phone down on the table face down. you were somewhat surprised by armin's response time, but you were grateful nonetheless. you'd spend a little more time with eren, it wasn't a big of a deal, not even the small feeling of nervousness that came back was a big deal. with how well everything was going you were sure they could deal without your for a few extra hours.

when you looked up, eren's palm was holding his head up, as his other hand cut the pancake in front of him, a small pout on his face. you almost felt bad, if in the back of your head the surprise party didn't linger you probably would have felt bad. you gave a weak smile, and tapped the glass table to catch eren's attention. "eren,"

"hm?"

"happy birthday."

a few hours.

a few hours until eren's party, a few more hours of planning, few more hours of jittery feelings and sneaking around eren.

maybe a few more hours of questions, questions from eren, questions from your friends, questions for your friends.

"armin, pass me that last streamer."

armin took one of the white streamers from the table next to you, placing tape on the tip and you stepped down from the chair you were standing on to grab it. once you taped it your hand swam through all the streamers that were adorning the wall. they had came down from the ceiling, connected to the wall and then came down like a waterfall, a jade green, light green and white patterned across the wall.

"does it look good?" you asked armin, and his hands went to touch the streamers as well while he nod, surprised at how well you pulled off the design. hitch didn't seem to be the only creative one in the friend group.

"of course, of course, it looks really nice, it's creative too."

as you were about to respond, the pop of a balloon made you and armin flinch, both of your necks snapping towards the sound, connie and sasha both standing their frozen, the remnants of a balloon in connie's hand, sasha holding back her laughs.

stepping down from the chair, you sighed, and armin pat your shoulder. "i'll go help them with the balloons, don't worry." he stepped away, heading towards the living room to do just as he said.

you made your way towards the kitchen, deciding to check on the progress in there, mikasa cutting up tomatoes for the guac that niccollo was preparing, her hands moving flawlessly as she chopped away. "want to help?" she asked, not even looking up to see who walked in.

you had nothing better to do, everyone occupied with one or more aspects of the decrorating, so you said a "yeah," and she dropped the knife, placing another tomato down and grabbing an onion and another knife to begin chopping beside you. "how is it going out there?"

"out there" wasn't too far, you looked over your shoulder and armin, sasha, and connie were arranging the balloons, tying them with ribbon and letting some stray ones float. "they're doing good, i think, thanks for helping with the food."

"no worries." she continued to slice at the onion, but something else was itching her, and she couldn't help but ask. "how did you get eren to not follow you here?"

"'was hard, i hung out with him for a little longer, that's why i was late... and i told him i was running errands." you and eren didn't do much when you were with him, yet you still had fun, even though it was something as simple as chilling on the couch and watch television together. like you thought earlier, eren's presence was enough.

mikasa's head shook, scooping up the onions and placing them in the bowl where niccollo was working, squeezing a lime into the mashed avocado. "didn't take you as a liar," she joked. "what time is he coming?"

you shrugged, eyes glancing to niccollo who was mixing together the guac, then trailing to the grocery bag beside it. "probably around seven like i asked, i don't know. can you grab me some big bowls?"

mikasa went to grab a large clear bowl, placing it down beside you gently. "here," she handed you the bowl, a section in the middle for the guacamole.

"do you think he knows we're planning his surprise party?"

"he might have an idea about it." mikasa replied. "but not a big one, the other day he called armin asking why we didn't invite him over."

your hand stuttered, and you almost cut your finger while slicing the fruit in front of you. "what did armin say?" eren didn't question you further after you told him you had went over to study, so your lie couldn't have clashed with whatever armin told him.

she took the knife from your hand, using it to slide the tomatoes you cut off the cutting board and into the guac. you pulled the bag of tortilla chips out of the grocery bag and opened it up, pouring it into the clear bowl.

"armin didn't say much, he just said you had passed by and that it was nothing special."

you let out a sigh of relief, moving the chips around then pushing the board towards niccollo. "nicollo, put the guac in the middle when you're done." another bag, and another bowl that you poured the contents into. "when i got home from your house few days ago he asked me why i went without him and i told you i grabbed some calculus notes."

"that's close enough." she grabbed the bowl of tortilla chips once niccollo put the guac in the middle. "i'm gonna put these on the table."

"and i'll put the rest of the snacks in the bowls, you can help out there." niccollo told you, pulling the bowls away from you and ushering you out before you could say anything, his hands on your shoulders moving you to the entrance of the kitchen. you didn't question him, just taking your leave and heading towards the living room, wanting to see how the others were doing.

the decorations were coming together, balloons creating an arch around the television set, "happy birthday" letters connecting from one end of the wall to the other, hanging over armin and connie's head, and more balloons connecting together on either side of sasha and jean who were sat sitting on the couch.

it was beautiful, the greens, silvers, and whites all complimenting each other, from the table cover, to the streamers on the dining room wall, it was all a pretty sight to look at and you were filled with bliss, bliss at the fact that it was working out like you had planned, at the fact that your friends and you could put everything together so well.

"guys, you guys did so good!" you sounded cheery, and they caught on small smiles appearing on their faces at the joy on your face, it seemed seeing you happy made them happy too, just like sasha and niccollo. "i really love it!"

"see, i told you she'd like the arch." armin commented, hand pointing to the arch of balloons. "they wanted to just put balloons everywhere, i thought you'd like it if we made it more uniformed." and he was right, you did love it, it was more than you asked for, more than you expected them to do.

"yeah, no, i love this." you had pulled out your phone, preparing to take a picture but stopping for a moment, looking at the time. it was almost seven, and so you decided to text eren instead.

march 30th, 6:43pm

⤷ you can be on your way soon!!!

"i told him he could be on his way like an hour ago." a red solo cup was in your hand, and you were standing with hitch in the kitchen, her sipping at her own drink. you were getting fidgety, almost an hour had passed and eren wasn't here yet, nor did he respond to the last text you sent him. maybe he forgot?

"maybe he got caught in traffic." hitch shrugged, "i don't think he forgot." it was like she read your mind, but it didn't help to calm you— traffic didn't even sound plausible with how near you and eren's apartment was to armin and mikasa.

"traffic? seriously, we don't live far from here, he would've made it sooner than now."

armin frowned at hitch, "maybe not traffic, but maybe he's still getting ready, you know eren's always a little late places... just relax until he gets here." his hand reached out, palm up. "want me to refill your drink for you?" you knew he was just trying to ease you up, get something in your system and relax you until eren would arrive.

you were about to hand him your drink but then your phone vibrated, the light flashing from beside hitch and she picked it up for you, eyes moving back and forth while your screen illuminated her face, and you tried reaching for it but where she sat on the counter top she could easily pull it out of your reach, and that's exactly what she did, your hand stretching for your phone while she read it from where her arm was above her.

"hitch!"

"it's eren, he says he's here."

your eyes practically popped out your head, and you turned to armin, placing your cup in his hand, the liquid threatening to spill over the edge with how fast you shoved the flimsy cup in his grip, almost crushing it. "be right back!" you said loud, speeding past your friends to leave the kitchen and get to front door.

your heart pounded in your chest as you exit the kitchen, butterflies filling your stomach. you spun around the bodies of people (which was more than you expected hitch to invite) rushing to get to the front door, to get to see eren, to get to show him everything you all put together.

you almost stumbled over your own feet, apologizing to whoever you bumped into but not daring to look back, because the door was right there, and another burst of restlessness filled you when your fingers wrapped around the cold metal knob of the front door,  the air that hit you raised goosebumps on your legs when you swung that same door open.

you rushed out the door and down the steps, almost missing one in the process, but it didn't matter because there he was, those same wispy hairs you knew he never tried to tame even on his birthday still framing his face, blue green eyes steadying on your figure running towards him, and plump lips breaking out into a smile that you never knew you'd be so happy to see.

eren, he was here, after you didn't know how long, and you were happy, you were so happy you didn't stop running, crashing into him and causing him to stumble back, but god the small chuckle, the feeling of his smile against the top of your head was so beautiful, so relieving.

"eren," you pant out, your breath fanning his arm, and you pressed yourself against him more, like he'd disappear if you let go. "eren, you're here."

"i'm here." your eyes squeezed shut at his words, at the feeling of his arms wrapping around your shoulders, letting you get as close to him as possible, your legs in between his and your head pressed against his chest like earlier in the kitchen. you never thought you would be so happy to see a person, and even though all the two of you ever did was hug it felt so new and so fresh.

you felt like you had been hugging him for only seconds, but when he began pulling you off you didn't complain because there was much more to show him, so many more things for you to be nervous to show him, but wanted to show him anyways because only god knows how long these things took to make for him.

"what took you so long?"

he scratched the back of his neck, tongue sliding over his lip as he grabbed your hand, the two of you slowly walking back towards the apartment. "i had fell asleep, sorry, i'm here now— i couldn't have missed much?"

"jesus, eren, i thought you forgot!" you cursed his stupidity. seriously? falling asleep moments before his party? he had you worried he was gonna miss it, and he could've.

"no, no, i didn't forget. being home alone is boring you know, so i took a nap." you looked down. you did leave him alone for a couple hours, on his birthday at that, but what he would see in a couple minutes would hopefully make up for it.

his eyes raked over you. "you look nice... and to think it's my birthday." he smiled, and although the moon was out, little light being casted on the two of you he didn't fail to notice your attire and compliment you, your hand squeezing his a little more.

"thank you," and you did the same, letting your eyes look over him, quirking a brow at his appearance; a sweatshirt that was covering the undershirt that was peeking through his collar, and some simple jeans— so much for it being his day. "yeah, you didn't dress up much, it's your birthday eren."

he began to swing your hands back and forth, not seeming to care much for your comment. "i woke up late, i just threw something on."

a silence washed over the two of you as you made your way up the steps, and you almost didn't want to go inside. you wanted to talk to eren a little longer, have it be just you and him a little longer because you knew he wouldn't be at your side for too long once you returned to the house.

"ready to go inside?' you asked as if he genuinely had a choice, but for some reason you still felt a bit sad when he nod his head, pulling you to the door with him.

your hand twisted the knob of the door, and if only you could've watched eren's face once you swung it open. a roar of "happy birthday, eren!" flooded both of your ears and eren quickly became the main attraction. he was the main attraction, it was his day, his birthday.

his mouth dropped open, eyes widening and eyebrows coming up in shock— no in awe, and it was no longer a "small" birthday party that he had in his head, there were lots of people he could recognize, lot of eyes on him, and pretty shades of green dusting the room. you felt his hand squeeze yours in return, and he almost didn't even notice his closest friends crowding around him.

"eren! happy birthday!" hitch pat his shoulder, beckoning for him to bend down a little bit, a party hat in her hand that matched the one on top of her head. his gaze broke from the room around him to his friends in front of him, and he bent down, hitch snapping the hat onto his head, you giggling at him as he adjusted it, a goofy grin on his face. if it was any other day, he probably would've refused to have such a silly hat on his head.

"yeah, happy birthday." armin said smiling happily to finally see eren, and smiling to not see you worrying anymore about his arrival. mikasa stood beside him saying a small "happy birthday" as well, and eren stepped forward to give both her and armin a hug before stepping back beside you again, his hand never leaving yours as he did so.

"do you like it?" the question was urging you to ask it, and eren looked down at you again, your nail pulling at your lip while you waited his response.

"do i like it?" he pulled you into a hug too, squeezing your shoulder. it was obvious to him, of course he liked it— how could he not? "so you planned this?"

"we all did."

"who's we all?"

you scanned the room, but it was only you, hitch, armin and mikasa standing in front of eren. "well, the four of us and jean, sasha, and connie too. i don't know where they are though, probably the kitchen."

"i love it, i really do, thank you guys so much."

you felt like a weight had been lifted off of you, like you were free from a burden you had placed onto yourself. everyone told you he would love it, and you knew it too. although, the feeling of eren himself telling you was a relief that never felt so good.

"i'm glad, let's go see the others." so eren's hand that was still intertwined with yours had pulled you along, the other three dispersing to do their own thing. small "happy birthdays" were said to eren as he passed people, and he occasionally stopped to greet someone he knew well properly while you stood back waiting patiently for him. hitch did him justice, most if not all the people he did know, even if you didn't, and now would be a great opportunity to get to know some more people but you chose to stay beside him.

when the two of you had entered the small space of the kitchen, sasha was standing with a plate next to connie. "eren, happy birthday!" her voice was muffled by her food, her covering her mouth as she spoke, but you could tell she was elated to see him with the way she perked up at the sight of him.

"yeah, happy birthday dude." connie blew a party horn in eren's face obnoxiously, and eren's face scrunched up, although you knew he didn't mind, as matter of fact probably the complete opposite. he was almost too happy and you could see it in his walk and his face.

"thanks guys, and thank you for planning this all out."

"thank _____ for getting us off our asses and forcing us to plan this shit." connie quipped, and you would've knocked his head straight if you didn't catch the jest to his tone that made you and eren chuckle.

he looked down at you after connie had pinned the party on you again, "so it was you who planned all of this basically. that's why you kept leaving?"

"yeah, i was planning shit out with them— i wasn't trying to leave you or anything." getting that off your chest felt equally as good, and it seemed that eren felt relieved as well, apart from the way his grip finally slipped from your hand.

"good... good, i love this, you did amazing, i appreciate this a lot." no words were enough to explain how much eren really appreciated you, appreciated everything you were doing for him— so all he could do was hope that you knew. "i'm gonna get a drink and look around, okay?"

"i'll be here." but your reply was short lived. instead of staying with connie and sasha you went to find armin for your drink. you needed it to calm the jitters that you were feeling, and you were glad when you caught him chatting with another blonde, who you surprisingly recognized but sadly couldn't recall her name.

"armin, my drink." the red cup still rested between his fingers, and at the sound of your voice he looked up, immediate remorse on his face when he saw yours, then looking down to the cup before passing it your way.

"i'm sorry, i forgot to fill it up." when you looked down into the cup it wasn't full, the liquid from before still swimming in the bottom. it was fine, everyone was occupied, trying to have fun and so you didn't mind, you'd just fill it up on your way to the kitchen, no big deal.

"who's this?" the girl turned to you, eyes bored as she tapped against the cup in her own hand, and armin looked between her and you, perking up. it was a chance to try to socialize, try to make friends, and you tried to take that chance.

"oh! annie, this is _____, she planned this all out, eren's roommate."

"hey!" you gave her a small smile, hand out for her to shake it, and she did, giving your hand a light shake before letting go. she didn't seem too interested in conversation with you, her blue eyes flitting over to armin every once in a while, while her feet kept turned towards him. "i think i've seen you around before, you look familiar."

she looked you over, studying your appearance before coming to the conclusion that she has seen you before. she put her cup to her lips, drinking before responding. "i'm here sometimes— armin's house."

armin next to you let out a nervous laugh, cracking his knuckles while listening to you and annie's conversation. "yeah, you've probably seen her around before, she comes here often."

you shrug, not sure if you had ever seen her at armin's place. although her face was familiar you couldn't really recall who she was, and you blamed your lack of socialization. you'd keep her name in your head, hopefully for future reference. "probably, but nice to meet you anyways."

armin waved, and you waved back before heading back over to the small crowds of people to get to the dining room, a selection of drinks splayed out for anyone to come and grab as they please.

hitch was there, seated on a table chair she pulled out, sliding a soda can towards her to pour in the alcohol that was already in her cup. she only noticed you when you walked over to stand right in front of her, her eyes gazing up at you before averting her attention back to her drink. "couldn't have asked sash to get some better booze?"

your own arms reached over to do just as her, a can of soda in one hand that you poured inside what was already in your cup— it upped the alcohol, and overall tasted funner. "don't think it was sasha who got it." you replied, taking small sips of your drink as if you were taste testing it.

"hm," hitch did the same, taking a swig of her drink before twirling it in the cup, setting it back down on the table in front of her. "i told you he'd come, and that he'd like it. you were stressing for nothing."

"yeah... i guess," you went to grab the chair diagonal from hitch, pulling it out from behind you and plopping yourself down in it. "where is he anyways?"

hitch looked ahead of you as if she was genuinely trying to find eren before looking back to you with a shrug of her shoulders. "not sure, he was over here a couple minutes ago with jean getting a drink." you missed him by a hair, and your shoulder slumped a little lower.

"he was over here?"

"why, you looking for him?"

you sunk down in your seat a bit, your feet tapping together while your fingers pattered against the plastic of your cup. you weren't looking for him per say, you just wanted to be with him, just have another moment with him, see him happy and see him enjoying himself in what you created.

"eren has got you fucked up— you need to, and i cannot stress this enough;" she pointed her cup at you, "just tell him." hitch let out an exaggerated sigh, her scooting down in her seat as well as she drank her drink again.

"hitch, please, i don't think you've understand how many times i have been told that this week, and nobody seems to understand how not easy that is." and you were right, it wasn't easy, there was too many problems that could arise if it backfired. you'd rather pine for eren for the rest of your life if it meant that things would stay natural between the two of you— if what you had going on now stayed.

"or you're just making it harder than it has to be." she had a challenging look in her eyes, placing her elbow on the table and resting her chin on her knuckles, a small smirk on her lips.

you gave a her a questioning glance, not looking too long and shifting in your seat. maybe it was harder than it had to be. maybe it was your nerves telling you otherwise, maybe you were following the pounding of your heart and the butterflies in your stomach.

hitch looked you over, shaking her head with a small giggle before pushing her head from under her and standing up with her beverage. "i'm gonna go tell connie to change whatever the fuck is playing, i'll catch you later." and she walked around you, body disappearing into the bodies of people leaving you by yourself.

but not for long, a hand on your shoulder making you jump, you turning around and seeing eren, towering above you, a slight smile on his face. speak of the devil, it was the man of the hour— just who you wanted to see, and who you were happy to see. "hey."

"hey," you stand up almost too fast, pushing in the chair and standing in front of him. he steps back to give you some space, almost caught off guard with how fast you stood up. "what's up?"

he leans into your ear, making sure you're able to hear him over the sound of the music and the chatter of the people around the two of you. "want to go outside for a little bit? it's kind of too many people, just wanna get some air." the faint smell of alcohol is present on his breath, and it reminds you to grab your cup, nodding your head and taking his hand in yours— where it felt snug and right, just like it did earlier.

the two of you make your way out the house, and the air did feel good, it didn't feel stuffy, it wasn't loud, it was calm and quiet, the breeze of the night only chilling you slightly, but eren next to you made you dead to the breeze.

he walks forward, only a few steps and you follow along, until both of you are leaning against the railing that kept you from falling a couple feet or so, cup dangling off the edge in your hands, and the moon so bright in the sky it only felt a couple feet away.

"i feel like you don't know how much i actually love this." he starts, and when you look at him he's still staring at head, the glint of the moon making his eyes look ethereal, illuminating them in only the best way possible. "how much i appreciate this, this party, everything."

"i know, eren," a grin can't help but form on your face, and you could hear the words come from his mouth again and again. the feeling that his appreciation sent through you gave a sense of pleasure, a satisfaction and it brought a form of closure. "i know."

it's just quiet, it's nobody talking and it's just the two of you. you're allowed to relish in eren being beside you because that's what you wanted from the moment he arrived, you wanted to be with him, and so despite the two of you not talking, he was enough. the sound of his light breathing was enough, the heat radiating off of him was enough, the sight of him was enough.

yet, you break the silence.

"do you wanna see what i have for you?"

he finally looks your way, and his eyebrows are knit, pink lips only slightly parted, and your eyes can't help but flit down to them before coming back up to his eyes. you weren't sure if he missed your quick glance or not, his lips closing. "there's more."

"if i can recall, you get presents on your birthday right?"

this time, you're the one to grab his hand, and his fits in yours like a puzzle, and you're the one to pull him down the steps that you had ran down earlier, him being the one to finally trail behind you.

you walked him to your car, your hand digging in the pocket of your coat that albeit the warmth of the party you had managed to keep on, and you grabbed your keys, your thumb pressing down onto the black button that made the lights in the vehicle flare up. you place your solo cup on the roof of the car and your hand grasps the car doors for the backseat, opening it up and being greeted by leather seats and a small white bag.

you almost couldn't fathom that this small white bag only days ago you cared so much about, that the ribbon that your hands were holding onto mattered so much to you, the small lettering on the front mattered so much to you— and only moments ago eren couldn't express his enthusiasm for the party you planned for him.

all your friends who had repeatedly told you not to stress were right— if eren loved a stupid dirt cake, and a little embroidered letter, he'd love anything you gave him from a small paper bag or a couple of snacks to a watch, to a party.

you moved aside and eren moved forth, making himself comfortable on the seat of your car while you placed the bag in his lap, and he looked so adorable; the party hat that was splashed with color leaning a little too far right, and the cheerful smile on his face as he moved the tissue aside and peeked into the bag closely, before his head shot up and him beaming at you instead.

even though he didn't even see what was in the bag yet, his hand came to his chest dramatically, acting way too surprised for someone who wasn't even sure what you got him yet. "for me?"

you rolled your eyes gesturing to the present. you wanted him to see it so you ushered him on. "yes for you, now hurry up and open it, it's kind of cold out here." the cold was nothing to you today, your coat kept you warm enough.

he wasted no time complying, pulling out the small black box, a pretty suede under his fingers as he pulled off the lid, and his eyes shone as he did, another look of awe gracing his face as he stared at the contents of the box. you were so giddy, seeing the look of surprised wash over his face, that same feeling of satisfaction you received earlier came over you again and you were practically bouncing on the balls of your feet as you watched eren.

it was a watch, the face of it a black and white photo of him and his mom when he was young, and you were to thank mikasa for finding the photo for you. the band was a matte black and the metal detailing the accessory a pretty gold that matched the key necklace that hung around his neck almost at all times. you hoped that the watch would become like the necklace— something he wore almost at all times.

he looked up at you, and although he was sitting down he pulled you forth by your wrist. the action caught you by surprise, his free hand holding your waist and his head buried into your stomach, and almost by default did your hand go up to play with the free strands of his hair, smoothing over his head, playing with his half assed bun and carding your fingers through his soft locks.

your heart was melting, you could almost cry— and you never knew that seeing the joy and admiration of you on someone else's face would mean so much to you, you never knew that making someone else happy was something that made you happy, especially when it came to someone like eren. it was the same expression that your friends had when they saw how happy you were when you all came together to complete another task for the event, and now you could feel what they felt, except tenfold.

so you let him press his head against you while he examined the watch, you were fine with staring over the roof of your car into the distance of the night, staring at what would've looked like nothing to you if eren wasn't in your arms.

it was all something, the tall trees whereas the green leaves on them was only visible because of the moonlight, the arrangement of cars spanning down the parking lot ahead, little things you wouldn't have thought twice about. little things that somehow eren made you recognize, eren made you hyper aware of how the little things mattered, in the worst sense at first, having you constantly stress over the little things. but now you were somewhat happy you took your time on these little things, because the little things that might seem like nothing to you, could mean the whole world to someone else.

you realize that eren would have been happy with anything that you wanted to give to him, no matter how little or big not because of what it is, but because of who you are and the thought that went into it.

you almost missed the small blabbers of "thank you" that left his mouth, his lips moving against the fabric of your dress, and your coat brushing the tip of his nose. it's only when he stood up and said one more to your face that you realized he had been talking to you the whole time.

the bag wasn't in his lap no more, and neither was the box, the watch now around his wrist, and it suited him perfectly, it complimented him so nicely, although it was a simple watch (which to be fair, it was the exact opposite of simple to him). the only thing still the same was his arm around your waist, and the soft expression on his features.

it wasn't that hard, it couldn't have been that hard— not now, when you finally realize that eren is eren, and he'll be happy with you no matter what, no matter what you give him, no matte what you say to him.

"eren?"

"yeah?"

"i like you."

if this was a few hours ago, you would've choked up on your words, your heart would be racing and your hands would be a clammy mess. hours ago you would've refused ever confessing to him, it wouldn't have even crossed your mind once.

hours ago, you didn't know eren as well as you thought you did because you were too busy worrying about the what-ifs, worrying about the little things that he would've loved anyways.

his expression didn't change, and yours didn't either because you were at peace, and your shoulders felt lighter just because he now knew.

"______?"

"yeah?"

"i like you too."

that was all that it took.

that was all it took for both of your hands to cup at his face, and pull him closer while you stood on your tippy toes, foreheads touching, then nose, then lips. all it took for you to feel so loved and complete, all by the feeling of his lips against yours, the synchronization of them moving together made you giddy again, made you happy.

your noses bumped but it was okay, your teeth clinked but it was okay, you both giggled into the kiss, not being able to shake the overwhelming feel of it that somehow still kept you feeling at peace.

he pulled you impossibly close, and he kissed you until he couldn't breathe anymore, taking his time sucking on your lips, savoring every taste of your skin and the way your lips felt. the kiss alone was the cherry to his birthday— scratch that, you were the cherry to his birthday.

and when the two of you finally pulled away for air your head fell forward onto his chest almost immediately, his head resting overtop of yours and keeping you safe in his arms, safe against him. "happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday." you were the one to blabber now, and you weren't sure if it was a distraction for the tears that threatened to spill or not.

he pressed a chaste kiss to the top of your head, swaying both of your bodies back and forth gently, swiftly, and kindly. he didn't respond, but he didn't need to respond, his love being thrown back at you just by the way he held you.

you could've stayed in this position forever, you really could've but the sound of armin calling for eren from the top of the steps is what broke the moment for the two of you, and what made matters worse (or better) was hitch standing right behind him, a leer on her face that made you let out a sigh.

"hey! eren!" armin almost doesn't realize that it's you right below eren, but when his gaze darts down to you for a millisecond he has to do a double take that causes him to break out in a smile, turning to hitch for a confirmation which she gives with a nod. "we were looking for you, we have to cut the cake!"

eren looks down at you and reluctantly lets you go, shutting your car door for you and grabbing your cup. "you can go back inside we're coming." he announces, and even then armin and hitch don't move, both leaning against the railing like you and eren earlier, as if something would come next between you and eren— you had to chuckle at this.

when you and eren began walking hand in hand, for the first time you didn't worry about what he'd think of the cake, you didn't worry about if he'd like the color, or the taste, or the shape, or anything for that matter, because you knew eren would appreciate anything you'd throw his way.

"hey,"

he looks down at you, and the calm look on his face almost mirrors yours. "yeah?"

"happy birthday, eren."

[monochromemedic]

I had been stuck in the Dark World for who knows how long. The days didn’t seem to matter down here. No sun, no moon, just the vibrant green grid that coated the sky that would twitch and surge with occasional frequency.  When I first got here, I fought hard to get back to the surface, to fight for any sense of normalcy, for home but after a while the dream began to fade. The options began to run dry when compared to the dangers that surrounded me. And so I settled. I survived. I searched for food, begged for shelter from kind Darkners. I did what I had to to live. The Queen was not an option. Whispers from Darkners told me how I was just what she was looking for, that would help her expand her reign to the Light World. As much as that would probably help me, I didn’t want to ruin the lives of others for the chance to see my family, as much as I missed them with every passing minute. The sound of bustling cars and the blinding lights of neon signs stung my senses, my palms pressing into my eyes to drown out what I could. Damn it this place never slept did it? There was always something, some sort of noise. Whatever bags I had under my eyes were probably made cartoonishly drastic with the lack of pure rest I was getting. ‘Supose it was better then being dead... My body felt heavy, and I knew I’d have to find a place to rest or I’d fall asleep mid crossing of a road and get run over by one of those goofy cars I’d seen. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad... I recalled the time one of the car’s rear bumped into a fire hydrant (or at least I thought it was) and made a squeaking sound. The darkness of a certain alley called to me, the silence a sweet lullaby to the roaring around me. Was it dangerous? Oh yeah. Was it stupid? No shit. Was I going to do it? The shadows the engulfed me were perfect and if it wasn’t for the underlying stench of garbage it’d probably be ideal. Still beggars couldn’t be choosers and if tonight was good enough I would have to consider having this as my permanent sleeping spot. My back slid against the cool wall across from the dumpster, eyes half lidded as they read the advertisements littering above. Why the hell did the Queen have ads anyway, if she wanted she could monopolize any products she wanted... Despite the quiet I couldn’t shake the feeling that creeped down my spine. The presence of something other then myself around me. I tried to close my eyes, I was in the city after all. It’d be concerning if I didn’t feel like people were one second from crawling up my ass. Though I had to admit I didn’t expect to actually feel something begin to touch me. My eyes snapped open, elbow prodding into a blurry shape that yelped and tumbled backward, it’s grasp my on shoulder tearing a hole in my already worn shirt in the struggle. “Hey! What the hell?!” I barked, standing over the perpetrator. My shoulders slumped when I saw what looked to be a doll staring up at me with wide eyes, an over exaggerated smile permanently spread across it’s face. The creature’s jaw opened wider with a clack, it’s small body shooting upwards to stand on it’s small pointed feet. “WOAH WOAH WOAHAH- [Live worms]!”   The darkner’s voice was deafeningly loud, a shrill tone that cut the air like newly sharpened blades. “ I THOUGHT YOU WERE [Roadkill]. NICE TO KNOW I WON’T BE [Sleeping with the fishes] T0NIGHT!!” Well he had a certain way of speaking that was obvious. What the hell was going on with him, he talked like he was constantly being cut of random clips of other people speaking. He talked like a youtube poop or any other shitpost that would randomly shove memes into them for a quick laugh. “You thought I was dead? I was just... I was... uh.” I looked around me, eyeing the dirt and debris. “I was... going to sleep... here.”  Dammit, telling people I had to sleep in such ratty places were always a blow to the ego but I suppose it was better then saying ‘Oh I was just sitting down here to die’ The puppet shook his head and waltzed over to the dumpster, his small hand smacking the side with a sense of pride. “ [Finders keepers, losers weepers] HUMAN, YOU PICKED A GOOD SPOT. TOO BAD [so sadd] I GOT HERE FIRST. THOUGH FOR A DEAL I SUPPOSE I COULD [Share the love~]” “Got here first... what are you talking about?” The Darkner let out a laugh, distorted echoes filling the air as he leapt inside, a solitary hand popping out to beg me to come closer. This was a terrible idea, but despite my best judgement I followed, and witnessed what I could only describe to be a makeshift bed inside.  The puppet laid on top of musty mats and raggedy rugs, a single stained pillow resting just beneath his head. My god was he living in here? The creature continued his laugh, lurching only a few inches away from my face. “ [Sweet deal] ISN’T IT? J3ALOUS, [baby]?”  I shirked back, cheeks reddening at the tone of his last word. I was most defiantly not jealous, in fact I was filled with remorse, something his pride did not help with. “It’s... uh something. I guess this means I’ll have to find another alleyway um, sorry for bothering you-” “SPAMTON.” “What?” His hand shot out towards my chest, fingers wiggling for a handshake. “SP-SPA MTON G SPAMTON, [Number 1 rated salesmen 1997]” He announced, an extra flair of bravado laced his titled. His hand was surprisingly warm for what it was made of but nothing that would be described as body temperature.  “Jenna. Also 1997.” “WHAT A YEAR. LISTEN LIGHT nER, I AM DEALSMAN [yes/no?]” “Um... y-yes? I don’t-” “THEN LET ME MAKE A DEAL YEAH? FOR ONLY [many] KROMER, YOU MAY STAY IN MY [Privately owned] ALLEY. IT’S A REAL [steal] YOU’RE ROBBING ME [deaf] HERE!” My brows furrowed as I searched his face for any context clues for what the hell he was trying to say. Kromer? What the fuck was ‘kromer’? The only thing I knew of currency down here was dark dollars not kromer... even if he did ask for dark dollars he didn’t name a price, he just said many. And the amount of dark dollars I had was zero. “Uh I don’t have kromer. I don’t even have dark dollars I’m kinda broke Spamton, in case you couldn’t tell from uh...” I trailed off realizing saying that sleeping in an alley wasn’t a very smart thing to say to someone who slept in an alley.  He seemed surprised by my words, beginning to tug on my coat, flipping my pockets to see if I was really lying. I had to push his mitts off me a couple of times, to which he eventually got the idea the way his hands began to rub at his extended jaw. “NO KROMER... WHAT CAN YOU DO?” “What do you mean?” He seemed to sense my change in tone, his grin beginning to wobble nervously “[Whoopsie daisy!] LET ME START AGAIN. DO YOU HAVE A [trade]? A [skill] TO [Exchange for goods and services]?” he croaked. I eyed the ground, rubbing the back of my neck. What the hell was I good at again? “I mean, I can draw, I suppose...” “ARTIST? WOW OWOW!” Spamton’s face lit up before digging in the dumpster, pulling out a few napkins and a ball point pen and shoving them into my hands. “WHAT A [trade] TELL YOU WHAT. YOU DRAW A [one-of-a-kind masterpiece] AND YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT!” “You’ll let me stay... if I draw something for you on this napkin. Am I getting that right?” The doll nodded feverishly, basically hovering over my shoulder as I played with the pen. This was certainly the weirdest way to pay someone that I could imagine... well no but one that was in the realm of reality. I had to ask Spamton to give me some space a few time, the feeling of his breath on  my neck making me more then nervous as I drew. God he was like those kids in school that would ask for drawings but ten times worse with the amount of personal space he’d give you. Besides I needed something to draw and with nothing on the mind why not draw the most interesting thing in front of me. I held the finished doodle out to Spamton only to have it snatched out of my fingers so fast I swore we could have started a fire. “WOAH...” The puppet sank inside of the dumpster, his face softening  as for once in what seemed like forever the alley way grew silent. “THIS IS... ME?” “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t know what to draw, you kind of put me on the spot. Besides everyone likes drawings of themselves right?” I shrugged, being pulled away from my thoughts by an overdramatic sniffle. Was he... crying? Not quite, just damn well close. Spamton’s shoulders quaked as a warm smile returned to his cheeks, slipping the napkin into his pocket with glee. “SO GOOD... THANK YOU.” “It’s really nothing, honestly that was a pretty shitty drawing.” “WHAT? YOU’RE [&#!^]ING ME! THAT WAS [BIG SHOT]” He was screaming again, hands gesturing wildly about. “It wasn’t but thank you. I wish I was better to be honest. I’m not very happy with my art, not at all.” I turned away from his gaze, unsure of why I was overcome by a choking sensation building my throat.  Why the hell was I telling this stranger this sort of stuff anyway? I mean I could hazard a guess it was the fact that this was the longest conversation I had had with anyone since I had gotten down here but with how things were it could be some magic power the doll possessed to tell him my deepest darkest secrets. “YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS [Big?]” “No.” “WHY NOT?” “I don’t know. I just... I think it doesn’t look the way I want it to. Doesn’t look good to me, and I don’t know how to fix it. Which I guess is a little funny considering how long I’ve been drawing. Just keep... drawing and drawing and never improving, least not how I’d like. It’s just garbage to me.” Spamton’s face seemed to fall, his glasses fading to a dark inky black.  “YOU FEEL? NO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO? YOUR [passion]?”  “Yeah.” A laugh ripped from his chest, his head lolling back with each chuckle. I felt my soul began to crack, a shame flooding my body with how hard he seemed to laugh. Did he find this funny? Humorous?  I felt tears prick my eyes as I snapped my head back to glare at him, his head glitching back to stare back at me. “YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME, JENNA. A [slime] A REAL [slime]!” With a quick motion the puppet jumped to the ground, his hand resting against my arm as he spoke.  “YOU’RE A REAL [BIG SHOT] YOU KNOW THAT? STAY AS LONG AS YOUR [Greasy little heart] DESIRES!” Well... that was unexpected. He’d really let me stay here as long as I want cause I was pathetic? Or did he just feel sorry for me? What was going on? And why was he calling me a slime... or us a slime?  “Oh... uh thanks? I didn’t think I was being  much of a big shot whatever that is but I apricate it. Really.” His head clacked with every little nod, leading me to a pile of cardboard boxes and patting them with the grace of a car salesman. “BEST [Seat in the house] ALL FOR YOU. [Night night forever]!” Spamton beamed, awkwardly swaying side to side before stumbling back to the dumpster a few inches away and crawling inside of it, much like a wild animal. I couldn’t help but laugh a little. This guy was weird. Kinda creepy but also kind of funny. I honestly couldn’t pinpoint a feeling on him but at least he didn’t want to hurt me just make weird ass deals and make me ‘big’. Did that mean famous? Was this guy so into my art he wanted to be some sort of manager? I rubbed my eyes and let out a yawn, the excitement of the day finally beginning to fade. God I forgot how tired I was, that little guy made me feel like I was gonna go into fight or flight.  “Hey Spamton?” “YES?” his voice echoed from inside the metal container. “...Thank you.”