#Hats off watcher you were fun while you lasted

[aeipathy-dendrology]

my take on the Watcher announcement: oh wow the guys from LA are delusional and disconnected from reality???? By Talos this can’t be happening!

[twig---verginix]

swear to god i'm just gonna stop watching the endings to shows i like. good shows need to get cancelled on cliffhangers forever

[pbandjesse]

Today had all the elements to be super stressful. And there were stressful parts!! But it was mostly a really good day.

I did have trouble falling asleep last night. But I slept good once I was asleep. I woke up just enough to hug James's head before they left. I remember feeling the brim of their hat on my face. But then I would sleep a little longer.

I felt alright when I got up. I planned to leave at 8. And I was pretty close to that. I really liked my outfit today. And I was feeling pretty good about myself. I grabbed my backpack and headed out right on time.

I went to get McDonald's. I went to the one near me and while the woman at the register window was so lovely and such a beautiful spirit, the sandwich made me feel a little sick. It was like. Dripping with butter for some reason??? I still ate it but it was not great.

But I was in a good mood. I had a good drive into camp. And I set up ground elements before I walked down to the office.

Heather gave me a hug for making the signs for her. She's so sweet. And because I was already set up she asked if I could go down to the bears to direct the buses. Which would allow Alexi to take Kenny to school. First though, once I got down there, we let Kenny say goodbye to Heather on the walkie and he's barely 4 so it was very cute.

The buses were running late. And that's fine. It would push the schedule back but that was fine except I had to leave at 2. I was hoping to leave at 150. But 2 was going to be my hard stop.

So Elizabeth was like, okay, Heather will just do the last rotation and you can leave at lunch. That took my stress away. And I was able to just have a fun morning.

I got a lot of compliments on my debriefs about how you can use the things they were learning and implement the ideas behind them in teaching. And it was really gratifying. I felt like I was doing a great job.

We did have a mistake in group rotation and there was confusion. But I figured it out and solved it. Just a little stressful.

All the groups were really nice though. We would do 4 elements. Including the team wall and whale watcher. And it was fun when they were really competitive. No one got dropped off the wall. Someone did fall on the a frame but he seemed okay. It was more surprising then anything! Should have seen his face when all of a sudden he was laying in the ground.

But everyone seemed to have fun.

We took everyone to lunch. And because I was supposed to be done but I didn't need to leave right away, I stopped in the office to check in with Heather and eat my soup. Which was very good.

But soon we got word that the group wanted to do the last rotation as a half program and still leave on time. So that would allow me to still do the last program and leave at 2.

My last group was not super athletic. And so we just did the whale watcher. Which they were very not good at because they all wanted to be in charge. I tried to talk them through that but some of the older women just weren't having that. To many cooks in the kitchen basically. But I still think they had fun. At 2 though I was like. Guys we gotta go. I got to go to my other job. And they were like oh!! Okay! And finally started heading to the field. I quickly headed to my car. I changed my shoes and started my drive to the library.

And it was a good drive. No issues. And I got there when I said I would.

Jasmine was in the basement classroom setting up and she was so nice. We chatted the whole time until the two kids who were coming showed up. And those two kids were nice but the younger one was very very chatty and dramatic. She obviously was showing off. Her cousin who was with her and who was 3 years older kept telling her to stop showing off and pay attention. But she only kind of would until her mom joined us. Then she was an angel which was very funny to me. What I didn't like was when the cousin was being repremanded when he was a sweetheart the entire time!! So I made sure I said he was doing so good and was a pleasure to have.

I am excited to keep doing this role for the next few weeks.

We cleaned up and I helped get eventing to her car. And then I went home.

I was glad to get home before the sun went down. And I was really happy to see James.

Almost as soon as I got home I took a shower. I put on comfy clothes and chilled for a little. Before I started working on some knitting and James made us pizza. I would work on my small loom and text with Jess and play with Sweetp.

I was very tired though. I had given myself a half hour lay down but I wanted to not just be exhausted in bed. So eventually I would work in the studio for a while. Trying to do more wood burning and a little organizing of the apartment. James worked on pruning their plants. It was a nice night.

The shoes we ordered came. And I'm excited to have some more comfy slip ons. I did decide that I would like the one pair better if they had black bottoms so I tried to stain them with the shoe dye I have. We will see if that worked tomorrow. But regardless they are very comfortable, a little stiff but they will get more comfy over time I'm sure.

Now me and Sweetp are in bed. I have to go brush my teeth but I hope to just really sleep well tonight.

Tomorrow isn't as crazy. I have puhtok but it's the bee program. And it's in the art building. And I am just hoping for a good and calm day. Fingers crossed.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Take care of each other!! Goodnight!!

[sweetest-honeybee]

Down to Dust

Chapter 1

Fic Summary: Grian will have to keep the dragon egg secure for the Watchers. But, they’re not the only ones who want it. On a completely unrelated note, Mumbo will have to deal with a version of himself thats only amplified by his No Killing mindset.

Chapter Summary: Grian’s getting tired of Scar’s shit and Mumbo thinks he’s a responsible adult.

Word Count: 1392

TW: None

Note: TEGG doesn’t exist in this fic

Enjoy!

———————

This was the third time this week that Scar managed to find Grian’s hiding spot for the dragon egg. Grian was sure that he couldn’t have possibly found it behind one of the sheep in his farm and yet, here the two builders were, one with a proud smirk on his face and the other glaring with a somewhat playful disdain. They stood in the center of Grian’s base interior, the avian cradling the egg in his arms.

“Someday I’m going to hide this egg a thousand blocks away in the ocean,” he said. “I bet you’ll waste your time then.” This was only met with a snort.

“Hey, I might. You never know,” Scar shrugged. “You never let anyone near it, it only makes it more fun!”

Grian rolled his eyes, biting back a smile at the other’s blatant ignorance. “I never let you near it. Besides, it's a fruitless attempt for me at this point.” He turned and rested the egg on a nearby anvil. “If I don’t let anyone near it, it’s because you told them to touch it in the first place.”

Scar raised a finger to say something but clamped his mouth shut with a reddening face. “Mumbo wanted to touch it,” he opted to retort.

The other didn’t reply, only facing his friend with a raised brow and crossed arms.

“Okay maybe I talked him into it but that’s not the point.”

Only now did Grian break into a grin. “Well, I hope you look forward to never seeing this egg again.” He tapped at the top of the shell. “It’s too special to lose.”

“Yeah I bet it is after it took five minutes to kill the dragon,” Scar laughed. “You’ve never told anyone why it’s so special, though. I’m curious.”

“That’s for me to know,” he jabbed a finger at Scar ,”and for you to never find out.”

“Ah, but I will.” Scar pulled his sleeve to check his watch. “But, my time here is done. I’ve got wagons to build.” With a tip of his hat, he exited the base.

Grian watched as the door shut behind him. “Talk about time management,” he mused.

With that, he sighed and swiveled his gaze to the egg. Under the later afternoon beams, it was a beautiful thing. Its contents, however...The avian shook his head. For now, it was a peaceful souvenir from his battle. Although, it wouldn’t be his to keep. Not for hundreds and thousands of years. It belonged to a much more powerful family of beings.

And so Scar needed to keep his hands off of it.

Despite this, however, Grian hardly minded the shenanigans. He wasn’t exactly praised by the egg’s owners; really, he lacked a more...optimistic relationship with them. Having his rank and abilities revoked by the Watchers was almost as bad as being disregarded by them as a Player entirely. He shuddered at the thought but followed Scar’s choice to leave the building; he wondered what his neighbors were up to. Although, he probably shouldn’t have left the egg so exposed should Scar try to touch it again.

He rolled his eyes to himself, then looked around. Scar, like he mentioned, was stringing together small wagons. Grian cringed at how much copper the man used in his builds- not because of distaste but that he could hardly imagine himself spending so much time grinding for the stuff. He glanced at his roof.

Well, maybe he could.

His gaze then rested on Pearl’s and Impulse’s bases, then Mumbo’s. It was strangely quiet this afternoon. He’d hardly seen any of the three since the day before. Mumbo moreso, but the other two not so much. Curious, he made his way across the field. Only then did Mumbo’s head pop out of a hole by his surface farm did Grian notice that anyone except Scar was out there at all.

Grian stopped and watched as his mustached friend pulled himself out of the hole. Unsurprisingly, he was covered in patches of mud and dust starting at the tips of his fingers. As he noticed that Grian was there, he waved.

“Hey!” Mumbo greeted happily. He stood and dusted himself off in a useless effort to look somewhat presentable. “Sorry about the mess, I’ve been fixing some things in the potato farm.”

“I thought that usually didn’t involve rolling in the dirt,” the avian chuckled. “I’m trying to keep Scar off of the egg.” Mumbo raised a brow. “No, it didn’t work.”

“Huh, I thought he’d never find it in the sheep pen.”

Grian scoffed. “You’d think.”

“You could hide it in someone else’s base. Or better yet, in his own base,” Mumbo suggested.

The avian contemplated the idea, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I can’t really let it go anywhere else.”

“You can’t or you won’t? I can babysit the egg.”

At that, Grian laughed a single ‘HA’ at the proposal. “I’d rather have Scar just take it,” he replied. “No offense. It’s a magical egg, you couldn’t handle it.”

The redstoner gaped with offense despite Grian’s comment. “I think I’d be great at it!”

“Right, right,” the other sneered, but couldn’t help but to giggle at the thought. Eventually, he calmed himself. “Anyways, I’ve got work to do. I suggest a bath for you as well.” Grian looked Mumbo up and down. “You need it.” With that, he rocketed himself away with a salute.

Mumbo stared in disbelief, then turned to Grian’s house. He’d be a great babysitter for the egg! Grian was only just trying to insult his obvious responsibility. Seeing as Grian couldn’t keep the egg away from anyone, it wasn’t like he was much better at the task. Besides, he couldn’t kill the dragon, so what better way to obtain a dragon egg than through showing Grian just how responsible he was with it.

With that thought, the redstoner looked around. Nobody other than Scar, who was busy building, was around. So, he more or less stealthily creeped his way into Grian’s base. If anything he probably looked like a long legged spider. Mumbo expected the dragon egg to be hidden once more but much to his surprise, it was blatantly out in the open. He almost face palmed for Grian’s sake. It was too easy. He hastily plucked the egg from its place and shoved it into his inventory. Hopefully, Scar wouldn’t find it odd for Mumbo to have been there should he notice anything weird.

Mumbo left quickly and already began conjuring plans for a vault. Knowing Grian, it hardly needed to be in any way complex. Where to put it, however, was the question plaguing his mind. He really didn’t have a lot of space to work with. But, the underground potato farm should work just fine. Behind the backdrop was a perfect area. So, he did just that. Within hours, the vault was done and dusted. In it, a quartz interior with a pillar topped with a purple pillow. Mumbo looked around, admiring his work. He then turned to the pillar and pulled the egg from his inventory. He placed it on the pillow carefully, almost as if he wanted the egg itself to be comfortable. With a pat to the top of the egg, he left the vault.

It’s been a while since he last saw Grian. The builder should’ve returned to his base by now and saw that the egg was missing. Mumbo supposed that Grian was simply hanging out with their neighbors. He ascended the ladder, still covered in layers of soil that fell from the wrinkles in his now stained white undershirt. The redstoner peeked his head out of the hole. The sky was dark and littered with stars. Zombies groaned and skeletons' bones clacked blocks away.

Ah, Grian might’ve been sleeping.

He sat on the edge of the hole, legs still dangling inside, and checked his watch. It was late and tremendously so. How long had he been under the ground for? He raked his fingers through his hair. Well, time to sleep then. He made his way to the van and after he did, he looked out once more before sliding the door shut. Tucking himself into bed, he drifted into a peaceful slumber. The thought of the stolen egg hardly left any thoughts on his mind.

[votederpycausemufins]

And this is the end of the story. Sort of. I’m going to do one or two more ‘chapters’ that are more just... you guys send me asks about the story and I’ll compile them into a chapter or two. it can be stuff like ‘i didn’t fully understand this’ or ‘can you tell more about that’ or ‘what if X happened instead.’ I’m also doing this on the Ao3 side since more people have been commenting there, but you can still use my inbox or leave messages on this post itself, whatever works for you.

Of course, all this is possibly due to the Hermit!Tommy au being created by @petrichormeraki

Mumbo groaned as he woke up, most of his body aching for some reason. Looking around, he was glad to see he was in his own bed at least. Next to him, curled up in the covers was Jrumbot who seemed to be hooked up to his redstone chargers. Mumbo patted his son’s head before pushing himself up so he could look around.

Grumbot was propped up in a nearby chair, also asleep and charging. The door to the room was cracked open and Mumbo could hear voices coming from somewhere behind it. His eyes were then drawn to an item frame with a mask of his robot skin. At least it seemed to be similar if not exactly the same. Most likely Grian had hung it up because he sure didn’t himself.

Mumbo dragged himself out of bed and walked towards whoever was talking. Getting closer, he could recognise Tommy and Grian’s voices, but there seemed to be a third person there as well. It was probably someone from Tommy’s old world, so Mumbo wasn’t too worried.

Before he could quite tell what exactly they were discussing, they stopped as Grian noticed Mumbo walking their way. “Mumbo! You’re awake!” The avian went over and hugged Mumbo before pulling him over and using the redstoner as something to lean against, nearly pushing him over in the process. “How are you feeling?

“Like I got crushed working on a redstone project with pistons. What are you wearing?” Mumbo saw Grian’s Watcher mask, not having seen it before.

“Oh this? Well… uh, you hit your head pretty hard back there, what do you remember?” Even though the mask covered Grian’s eyes, he could tell that the avian was sending glances to Tommy and the other person in the room.

“I remember up to confronting Dream after we got you back. But much after that is a bit fuzzy. I still remember bits and pieces of course.”

“Told ya.” The unfamiliar voice spoke and Mumbo finally got the chance to turn and look where their guest was sitting. He almost drew his weapon when he saw them, but he held himself back.

“Why’s Dream here?” Mumbo hazarded a glance back to Grian, hoping for an answer but Tommy was the one to answer instead.

“Not Dream, this is Drista. She’s Dream’s sister but she’s cool.” Mumbo accepted that answer as he could see the resemblance with their taste for similar mask styles.

“Yep, sorry about that. You panicked and attacked and I clocked you over the head.” Mumbo frowned at her cheerful tone but then Grian spoke and drew his attention away from the girl.

“As for the mask, while I’m mostly fine, there’s still some stuff I’m recovering from and the Watchers panicked since someone was able to mess with me and gave me a prescription for these. I might even keep them because it helps me not go crazy when in a Watcher State.”

Mumbo nodded, glad for the explanation. Then he turned his attention to Tommy. “Tommy? I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. I wasn’t in a good headspace at the time. I of course can’t recall everything I was thinking at the time, but either way, I want to apologize.”

Tommy just rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Grian told we what shit was going on since he talked with you. It doesn’t fucking matter.”

Mumbo started to open his mouth to reply, but Grian stopped him. “Can you go wake the kids? They’ve been charging for a while and I think they’ll want to be up now that you’re awake.” The Redstoner hesitated, but did agree and headed back to his room. Once he was far enough away, Grian sighed. “That was close.”

“I’m sure he won’t have a complete mental breakdown if you bring up the VGs.” Drista said, leaning back against the wall behind her. “If anything happens, just slap the mask back on and then pull it off, it should pull it away.”

Grian crossed his arms, wings folding tightly behind him. Even though they couldn’t see his face well, he still looked down to the ground. “It still doesn’t feel right. He essentially is always going to have one part of his life he can’t remember.”

Drista gave an exasperated groan. “Oh stop complaining! He wanted this because he wanted to stay with you for whatever reason. He can always just stay a Vault God and you can never see him again. How’s that sound?” Grian was quiet. “That’s what I thought. Welp, now that we know he’s fine, I’m out of here.” And then she was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tubbo didn’t stay with Crumb and Sparklez for too long, needing to get admin training from Xisuma with Ranboo. Xisuma would not admit to a single person how many times he needed to take something for the headaches he got from teaching the two of them, but after interacting with the other smp members, he was perfectly fine with the current pair.

The smp island didn’t last long as members griefed it so many times that Scar finally threw his hat down and said he wouldn’t fix it anymore. He tried two more times after that, but it was the principle of the matter. The area was moved further away to a larger chunk of land that wasn’t too close to anyone’s base so that way the smp members could still have a place to start in Hermittown but also have areas to expand to. Most people went back and forth, though Philza seemed to be taking up a permanent residence in the town. 

Grumbot went to visit his grandpa once, but he quickly was given the rule of not being able to go alone after that when he immediately tried to set up an election for mayor of the town. Techno tried to attack him, but he forgot the details of Grumbot being a robot, specifically one that had extensive knowledge of political figures, and Techno being both a former prince and an anarchist, the bot had a good idea of how to defend against the warrior. He still needed repairs when Grian arrived to scold him, but no one died.

After Tubbo had learned enough from Xisuma, he went back to traveling around with his dad and Crumb. It would never be longer than a week, but it was painfully obvious when he was gone as Tommy would seem down. At the very least there were a few times that Tommy was able to go along with Tubbo to see the sights.

Tommy and Mumbo eventually warmed up to each other again, mainly because Grian forced them to do more things together. They finally seemed to officially be on good terms after dragging a few smp members into Hermit Challenges together.

Grian attempted another war, which started poorly as the smp members jumped to conclusions and escalated on their own. Tubbo and Ranboo had to step in to stop it for the hermits to give them a rundown of how wars worked on the server. There were a few hiccups after that, but for the most part, things went well.

After Hbomb had first gotten a tour of the server and had seen Cub’s base, he ended up mining a large amount of ancient debris and making a wall of it on the smp side as a social experiment. It lasted longer than he thought, but still didn’t last all that long. After a few weeks he made a second one and was pleasantly surprised to see it stand longer than the first had.

With Dream gone, things started to calm down for the smp members, but a number of them still tended to wake up thinking things were back how they used to be. Mumbo ended up buying a space close to Odea and making a therapy shop which did quite well. He was also pleasantly surprised to see the Odea store suddenly getting sales as the smp members seemed to actually want the services.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grian sat on the railing on the balcony of his mansion, right under the large G. Next to him was Tommy and they looked down at the two teams of four people doing a barge box quest. Grian specifically wanted two hermits and smp members on each team for a better balance and he had even reduced the prices for the smp members specifically. Sure it was a competition, but really Grian wanted the two worlds to get along.

“Didn’t Scar say you did this in the last one?” Tommy looked over at Grian who didn’t take his eyes off the people below.

“Hmm, sort of. It’s a little different. They’re placing blocks instead of putting them in the chest. Mumbo helped with the redstone for it. It cycles placing blocks inside so you can’t just take them all out and not do anything. There’s a delay once the last block is out so after a short bit they’ll get their note saying where to fly to next.”

Tommy nodded, glad Mumbo wasn’t the one telling him this and making it sound even more complicated. “How’s he doing by the way? That war got a little crazy near the end.”

“He’s fine. I made up some excuse for the mask. Accidentally overcharged it with Watcher magic so only for extreme emergencies.”

“Sorry for being busy end-busting.”

“Not your fault. It sounds like it was fun.”

Tommy laughed. “Yeah, Tubbo only tried cheating once. Xisuma noticed almost immediately and called him up to scold him. I didn’t even realize he was doing it in the middle of a fight.”

“Speaking of, why didn’t Tubbo bring you back when he teleported home to deal with things?”

“So we could continue once he was done with that. We want to kick back and relax, not get in another war.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Our wars are too good for you!”

Tommy and Grian laughed until Grian noticed one group start flying off, the second group not that far behind. “Alright, time to head to the third checkpoint. You want a head start before I beat you there?”

“Hey Big G, that’s not fair. You got those fucking wings of yours.”

“That’s why you get a head start.” Grian smirked, making Tommy realize what was about to happen and he immediately jumped off the balcony and used a rocket to propel himself in the direction of the next checkpoint.

“See you later bird boy!”

“Not if I get you first!” Grian yelled back. He would give Tommy a few minutes, but then the gloves were off. He loved how grumpy Tommy looked when he carried the blond while flying. And any chance to make a little game of it was something Grian liked. “Alright, that’s enough time.” And then he was in the air, flying off towards his brother.

[melon-wing]

Unrequited Love [Ren/Grian/Impulse]

[Fanfiction Masterlist] Grian smoothed down the fabric of the costume he was wearing and smiled at his reflection. Mumbo had teased him earlier when he’d seen Grian’s costume hanging inside the base, but Grian loved it. Sure, the guy who had sold it to him off-world might have thought Grian was buying it for his girlfriend, but that hadn’t stopped his excitement.

He was dressed in all black, a top held up by an array of leather belts, with translucent fabric attached to it’s back and sides, when Grian moved around it flew nicely behind him and the little pieces of glitter sparkled like the night sky. Below it he just wore some simple black pants… Well, simple apart from the fact they were so tight it had taken him a good minute to get inside.

Grian picked up the gloves from his bed, and pulled one after the other over his hand and arm, the soft satin gently caressing his skin. They stopped a bit above his elbow. He turned to look at himself in the mirror again and smiled. There was a loud knock on his door and a loud string of curses escaped his mouth. Damn, was it already so late? He really should have taken less time doing his makeup, but he had just felt the need to put some on to complete the look. 

Grian hurriedly stepped into his boots, pulling them up all the way to his knees. There was another knock. He grabbed the rest of his outfit and strode to the door of his mansion hurriedly, pulling it open just after a third knock, to look at Mumbo, hand still raised from knocking.

“Took you long e- Grian! Oh my word!”

Mumbo looked him up and down and Grian knew that look he had on his face, the way his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“That is a rather... interesting look you got there. How in the world can you even walk in these?” Mumbo was staring at the boots and Grian smiled as he looked down at the heel as well, shrugging slightly. “Lots of practice. It’s not that hard once you get used to it”, he said and then let his eyes travel over Mumbo. “You look adorable.”

Mumbo was still wearing his suit and from afar, Grian probably wouldn’t have even noticed a change. Mumbo had two cat ears clipped into his hair and when Grian leaned a bit to the side he could see a black tail attached to the suit pants.

“I wanted to go as a secret agent again, but I was warned that I would not be let inside then, because wearing sunglasses is apparently not a real costume.”

Grian giggled and finally put a little black hat atop his head. He had considered also taking a broom with him, but it would have been annoying to carry that thing around for the whole party. Mumbo offered an arm and Grian took it, letting himself be led down the stairs by his friend.

“You really should have dressed up as an angel. Then you could have gone an evening without the need to hide your wings. I bet the others would have been impressed by that costume”, Mumbo said thoughtfully.

Grian only shrugged. “Not spooky enough”, he mumbled, though that wasn’t the real reason. He didn’t want the other Hermits to see his wings. He didn’t want them to know. Mumbo only knew because he had found out by accident. Not even Ren knew he was a Watcher and they had been getting closer and closer lately.

Mumbo chuckled a bit, luckily not picking up on Grian’s unconfident thoughts.

“Or could it maybe just be the fact that Ren told you he had a thing for ‘sexy lil witches’? Though I think you might have overdone the sexy part a bit.”

Grian could feel the heat rising to his cheeks immediately, as his mind wandered to Ren. Mumbo had hit the nail right on the head. While he hadn’t dressed up as an angel because of personal reasons he probably wouldn’t have dressed up like this if it hadn’t been for Ren. His best friend just knew him too well.

“I just liked the costume. And I bet he was talking to Impulse when he said that. You know? His boyfriend? His very serious and long term partner? Even some stupid sexy costume won’t change that”, Grian replied, going from flustered to saddened. “Just this once. I just want him to look at me and think I’m attractive once. I want him to look at me even a tiny bit the way he looks at Impulse.”

“Grian, you know they love-”

“Do you think Xisuma will have a new suit again?” Grian interrupted Mumbo suddenly, raising his voice slightly. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to think about it. And while Mumbo gave him a knowing look he still indulged him in changing the topic.

It didn’t take them long to reach the area where Xisuma had set up the party, an open field just next to a forest. Everything was decorated for the occasion, lit up pumpkins surrounding the area. There were chairs and tables, crates of drinks and foods set up. Loud music came from some redstone contraption that Mumbo had built a few days ago. Xisuma greeted them with a smile, still wearing his armour, but at least he had changed its look once more, now resembling some spooky creature instead of the little friendly striders.

Grian’s eyes drifted to the people already there and then his eyes landed on Ren and Impulse, standing in one corner and he could feel his heart pulling him forward. He left Mumbo’s side, who only gave him a little sigh, probably knowing of Grian’s hopes. What if they’d look at him differently today? Maybe today they’d finally notice him in a different way.

Ren turned around first. He was dressed up in the robes he had worn back at the demise games, a hood covering his hair. The scythe he used to carry around was lying abandoned on a wall off to the side, along with some scary looking mask that he had probably added on to the costume, more fitting the style of his space themed area he was living in now.

And sure, the costume was probably not meant to be sexy, but the spooky and powerful vibes Ren gave of in this were such a turn on to Grian and he swallowed, almost tripping over in his heels. He raised his gaze from Ren’s costume to his face. Ren was looking at him open mouthed, eyes wide and Grian was pretty sure he saw a blush. He smirked. Well things were going as planned after all. Grian’s eyes drifted to Impulse and he froze for a second. Impulse was dressed up like he had been in Demise as well, fake blood staining his clothes that were partly ripped. A partner’s costume… Now wasn’t that nice?

Grian forced a smile onto his face and kept walking while knowing that those two pairs of eyes were fixed on him.

“Grian, dude! You look good! Only you would be crazy enough to pull off a look like that. It suits you!”, Ren said, pulling him into a half hug and patting his back a few times. Grian could feel the heat rising to his cheeks, looking up at Ren, right into his eyes. In his mind he was just throwing his arms around Ren and pulling him into a kiss, but that was just a fantasy.

“Thanks. You guys look good as well. That brings back some very nice memories of last season.”

“Like when you killed me, lil guy?”

Grian burst into giggles. 

“Your greed killed you, not me. Well your greed and your cute overexcitement when you jumped off that tank.”

Ren laughed as well and suddenly there was a hand on the side of Grian’s face, gently tugging a strand of hair behind his ear. 

“Well right now I’d say you’re the cute one between us, Grian.”

Grian’s heart was racing. He leaned into the touch, his breathing getting faster. Was it just imagination or was Ren leaning forward? Was this just another one of his daydreams or was this-

“Ren”, Impulse’s voice pulled them from the trance and Ren let his hand drop immediately, stepping back with a sheepish smile, before turning to Impulse and caressing his cheek the same way he had just done to Grian.

“No worries, my sweet little zombie boyfriend, I haven’t forgotten about you. I never would.”

Grian felt his heart aching as he forced the smile to stay on his face. Impulse looked at him weirdly, making Grian wonder if he knew how much Grian wanted to get in between them. Or maybe he thought Grian only wanted to steal Ren away… God, he couldn’t bear it if Impulse started hating him. He quickly raised his hands defensively and smiled.

“Yeah! I won’t use my charm to bewitch him, no worries. I have my eyes on someone else anyways. There was a reason I dressed up like this after all”, he just lied. He needed them to get off his trail and a crush on someone else would certainly remove all the doubt cast on him.

Ren looked confused and wanted to say something, probably to ask who that person was, but Grian didn’t give him a chance, making up some excuse about having to go over to Doc to annoy him a little next and he darted off to the table filled with drinks where Doc stood.

He had an easy time, falling into his bantering with Doc while getting a drink, both of them poking fun at the other’s costume. And seriously… A half creeper dressing up as a cat - “because seriously Grian, those things are scary as hell.” - was the funniest thing. At least Doc had put some more thought into his costume than Mumbo and actually looked good in the get up.

They were a few drinks in, both laughing at Grian telling another story of a prank he had pulled, when Doc was called away by Ren. An amused snort left his lips.

“Gotta go, G. Someone is not happy about us talking.”

Grian sighed, shaking his head. He didn’t really know what Doc was hinting at, but he’d probably know sooner or later if it involved some shenanigans on the server. Maybe something about the war in the shopping district. But he was still the tiniest bit annoyed at Doc for hurrying off. Just when he had started to have fun and forgotten about everything else. He took another full bottle and then went off to the side, sitting down on a small stone wall, letting his eyes travel over the party now going in full swing.

He smiled fondly, when he saw Mumbo. A very drunk Stress was sitting on his lap, painting whiskers on his face and by how flushed Mumbo was, she was definitely moving around more in his lap than absolutely needed and Grian bet she knew what she was doing. Despite the very obvious flustered state Mumbo was in, he didn’t seem too uncomfortable, so Grian wouldn’t need to pull one of his best friend saving moves. 

Doc had moved on from Ren and was now in a heated discussion with Iskall. Going from the way their hands were moving and their scrunched up faces, it had something to do with redstone. And well… Those two discussing redstone? That could take at least an hour. So much for Grian’s plan to go back to their little banter. 

That meant he had to find something else to distract himself. Or someone else… He knew for a fact that Bdubs wouldn’t say no if Grian came on to him. Maybe he could just have some fun and- 

He looked at Impulse and Ren again, Ren throwing his head back and laughing, Impulse smiling softly, and Grian’s heart jumped in joy.

Maybe he’d just get another drink after all.

~*~

The party had been going for a while now. And honestly, Grian wanted to have fun, he really tried to. He had downed a few drinks, hoping to loosen up, but the way Impulse and Ren stuck together, showing way too much PDA, was really putting his mood down.

Impulse leaned over to Ren, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, making the other giggle in amusement. Grian felt something tighten in his stomach. He wished he could make all his feelings just disappear, go and take the pain away. He wished he could turn back time to stop himself from ever starting the Hippies. If he had just let things go, maybe joined Area77 instead of fighting them, he could have just developed a crush on someone like Doc who probably would have been much more open to any advances Grian made. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel this overwhelmed and helpless right now.

Xisuma walked up to Ren and Impulse, talking to them and Ren stood up, waving to Impulse before leaving with their admin.

Grian felt relief flooding him, followed by guilt. He shouldn’t be feeling like that. He should be happy for his friends. It should be enough for him that the people he loved were happy, even if he wasn’t the one to give them their Happy Ever After.

This guilt burdened him every day, overwhelming him, combining with the sadness and jealousy, making him fall deeper and deeper into what felt like an endless hole of his own creation. He had tried to get out, tried to move on. It seemed impossible. It was as if his crush was a giant mountain he had to dig through, but all he had was a wooden pickaxe. 

Every time he looked at them, every time they showed any signs of affection for one another, everytime they were nice to him, everytime they kissed, the mountain just seemed to grow, becoming even more impossible to overcome. And he hadn’t even started digging yet, just standing in front of the mountain, frozen, unable to do anything.

Grian looked into his glass at his own reflection. He had really tried his best for this party. He had really thought he could sway them if he just looked attractive enough. It hadn’t worked.

“What’s got you looking so sad?”

Grian looked up at Zedaph and Tango, who both looked at him and then sat down on the wall next to him, both taking one side. Tango was dressed up in a white robe, little wings and a halo attached to his body to finish the look, wearing golden glitter all over his body. Zedaph on the other hand was wearing a red suit, with little bat wings and two red horns on his head.

“Nothing. I was just lost in thought. The question is what’re the two of you up to again? Playing a little angel and devil on my shoulder?”

They both giggled and it was Zedaph who spoke up first.

“Really no need for that if we both tell you the same thing. Although, if it helps, I can phrase it more crudely and Tango can make it sound more sweet.”

Grian looked between them in confusion as his eyes finally settled on Tango.

“What?”

“See, told you he would like to hear it said more sweetly, honey.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Grian just raised his eyebrows in confusion and Tango smirked. A smirk that didn’t really fit the way he was dressed up.

“Well we noticed the way you were looking at our dear buddy Impulse as if he was a godly being walking among mortals.” “Also the way you devour Ren’s sexy ass.”

“Yeah, that as well. You’re pretty obvious.”

Grian felt a blush rising to his cheeks, against all effort to suppress it. He knew where this was going. This is why he had tried to hide his crush from the other Hermits as well. They would disapprove and tell him not to get in between those two. He didn’t want to hear how hopeless it was from somebody else. His mind was already doing a good enough job of screaming that.

“You guys really don’t have to worry! I won’t do anything.”

“Well now that is the problem and why we came here”, Zedaph said and Tango made a sound of agreement.

“Yes. I think Impulse really wouldn’t mind banging you.”

“TANGO! Language! Remember you’re the angel. I’m the one doing the dirty talk.”

Tango giggled and batted his eyelashes a bit, trying to look innocent. “Sorry. I meant Impulse and Ren really want to spend some quality time with you.”

Grian wanted to laugh at that. He did believe that Tango was telling the truth. What would he gain from lying? But what he was saying… This wasn’t what Grian had wanted.

He simply nodded and Zedaph went on.

“What Tango was trying to say is that the two of them have been talking about you. They’ve been doing that for a while but they won’t get their asses up and ask. And we noticed how sad you are. It really shouldn’t be our place to tell you, but since they’re too dumb to realise… They really would like you to join their-”

“It’s alright”, Grian interrupted Zedaph and stood up, gently smoothing down the fabric of his costume with one hand and then turning around to look at his fellow hermits. “I know you want to help, but I’m really not interested. You must have misunderstood.”

It was weird. All they were saying made his heart race and hurt at the same time. He wanted to be with Impulse and Ren. He really did. He would give anything to be with them. But to hear from someone so close to them that all they were interested in was Grian’s body and to have a little adventure with him? It hurt so bad.

“If you’ll excuse me now, I need another drink. Maybe try your angel and devil spiel on someone more interested. I think Mumbo’s pining hard for Stress and too scared to make a move. I’m just fine.”

Without letting Tango and Zedaph protest he went over to the drinks again, putting his empty bottle into one of the crates and looking over the selection of drinks. He heard a noise and raised his head, looking to the forest. Ren stood there between the trees, staring at him through the holes of his mask, beckoning him with one hand. Grian blinked in confusion, turning his head to look behind him. Surely Ren meant Impulse and not him. But Impulse was still sitting off to the side and no other Hermit was close by. Noone was even looking in Ren’s direction and Xisuma still had not returned. Grian turned back. Ren was still waving him over. So Ren really did mean him. Grian felt his heart skip a beat when he walked around the table and up to Ren. But just when he reached him, Ren turned around and started walking into the forest.

“Ren? What’s up? You already done with whatever help Xisuma needed?”

Ren just nodded and kept walking and Grian stumbled a bit trying to follow him. This forest ground was really not made for high heels.

“Do you want to show me something?”

Ren nodded again and Grian smiled a bit uncertain. Well Ren surely was full of surprises and this might be one of them.

“Well let’s go then. Just… Maybe a bit slower. I really don’t wanna fall down.”

Ren turned his head a bit, looking at him, but Grian really couldn’t make out any expression with his mask back on his face again, covering everything but his eyes, the hood so low that it cast a shadow, making even his eyes disappear.

Ren made a hum of agreement. It seemed to echo and Grian looked around in confusion. Well that was a strange effect. The trees weren’t even close enough to produce an echo…

“Where are we even going in such a hurry? What do you have planned? Any prankage happening?”

“Hungry… So hungry.”

Grian looked at him a bit confused, but then smiled again. “Oh well that explains the hurry. You really should have gotten something from the snack bar before taking me here. Just… A little slower then.”

They started walking again. Slower this time, giving Grian the opportunity to walk up next to Ren. He kept looking down at Ren’s hand, right next to his and his heart was racing as he decided to be brave. He let his hand brush past Ren’s a few times and when he didn’t pull away, Grian just grabbed it gently. He expected Ren to pull away or make a joke, but he just closed his fingers around Grian’s hand, holding it tight.

Grian smiled.

He’d have this at least.

~*~

Impulse smiled as he watched Ren and Grian retreat into the forest. Everything was going according to plan. He had been a bit worried when he had seen Zedaph and Tango approaching Grian. They had kept threatening to tell Grian everything if he and Ren didn’t finally pull their heads out of their asses and confess.

But they were ready now. They had planned everything. They had waited so long for this evening. Ren would talk to Grian now. Alone without Impulse, so they wouldn’t overwhelm him and so the others wouldn’t notice. Grian could let Ren down gently without feeling pressured in a two against one situation. And since Ren and Grian had been closer before Impulse had entered the picture, Impulse had let Ren have the honour of confessing for both of them.

Impulse would get his own opportunity to shower Grian in love later, if everything went according to plan. It had been kind of cute, seeing Ren so overeager the whole evening. He had almost spilled their secret the moment his eyes had landed on Grian in his sexy costume. And Impulse could understand that sentiment. One comment from Ren and Grian had dressed up like that. It really had to mean something. Both of them were so confident… He just wished Ren would have told him he’d go for it now after he had been done helping out Xisuma with setting up the fireworks. It had just been a lucky coincidence that Impulse had glanced up when Grian had followed Ren. 

Impulse kept glancing at the forest, heart racing as he fiddled with the scythe lying next to him nervously. He knew a talk light that might need a while. Ren surely would have some explaining to do. Impulse just wished he was still able to see them between the trees. They couldn’t have gone more than a couple of metres after all.

A few minutes passed. Impulse’s fingers kept twitching, his leg bouncing up and down. He rolled the scythe back and forth on the little wall. A loud clattering sound yanked him out of his thoughts and he looked down in confusion, bending down to pick up the object that had fallen. He looked at it in confusion. It was the metal mask that was part of Ren’s costume. He had abandoned it earlier in the evening, because he had said it was weird to have his face covered all the time. 

Hadn’t he just worn that when he had walked into the forest? Impulse was pretty sure he had seen it on Ren’s face… 

“I’m back!”

Impulse raised his eyes from the mask to Ren who was walking up to the little wall, Xisuma only a few steps behind him. He wasn’t wearing a mask… He had come out of the opposite direction of the forest.

“Ren…? How… How did it go? What did he say?” Surely Ren must have just rounded the party, maybe he had taken a walk while talking to Grian. Surely there was a logical explanation.

Ren stepped up to him, tilting his head, scrunching up his forehead in confusion. “Xisuma?”

“No. Grian. What did he say?”

“I… What?”

“Didn’t you just go into the forest with him?”, Impulse asked, a weird feeling rising in his stomach. “Oh god, did he take it that bad and ran off?”

“Impulse what are you talking about? I was just helping Xisuma out. It took a bit longer because he’s crazy and went completely overboard with the fireworks again.”

Impulse suddenly felt panic rising. He had seen Ren walk into the forest with Grian. He was so sure of that. But had he really seen Ren. With the robe and the mask covering the whole body.

“Ren… I just saw someone dressed in your costume take Grian into the forest. I thought you were going with him for a talk.”

Ren froze up a bit as well, his smile faltering a bit. 

“You think someone is playing a prank on him? You don’t think Tango or Zedaph would pretend to be me to get this done with?”

They both looked to the party and as Impulse’s eyes drifted over the people his heart began sinking further and further until Ren uttered the words that made his heart almost stop, voice filled with dread.

“Everyone else is here.”

Impulse sprang into action at once, running over to Xisuma and grabbing the admin who dropped a crate of fireworks.

“Impulse? What the…?” “X! You need to teleport Grian over here right now!” Xisuma looked at him in a mixture of confusion and worry.

“Impulse. Calm down. What’s going on?”

“Grian went into the forest with a person and everyone whitelisted is here. X! He could be in danger!”

Xisuma seemed alerted at once, the helmet lighting up with what Impulse knew was the admin console. He let go and Xisuma typed something apparently into thin air. Impulse waited with bated breath. A teleport wouldn’t take long. It was a simple command. A very simple command. Seconds passed. Xisuma was typing again. And again. And again, his movements getting more frantic.

“I can’t teleport him. Something is interfering with my powers.”

Impulse felt like someone had dumped an ice cold bucket over him, desperate eyes looking to the forest.

“No… Grian.”

~*~

Grian felt his heart racing as they kept walking, the forest growing more and more dense. They were lucky though, no mobs were spawning and Grian wondered if Xisuma had tweaked the world’s settings a bit for their little party after the phantom fiasco of last year when all the redstoners had forgotten to get some sleep in a bed before the big event.

“Is it much further? I don’t think I can go back if we walk any longer. I might look confident in these heels, but they’re not made for long distances.” Grian gave a small chuckle, but Ren didn’t say anything. It was weird, just how quiet he was. Usually Ren would chatter all the way to some destination. It was hard to get him to stop talking.

“Ren is everything alright?”

“Hungry…”

Grian made a confused sound and looked around again. Something felt off. Something wasn’t right. The forest was quiet. Too quiet. This was not natural.

Grian cast a look at Ren, but he seemed really focused ahead on whatever way he had planned out for him. He wouldn’t notice… Grian concentrated and he knew his eyes were glowing slightly. Ren’s fingers twitched, tightening on his hand and Grian wondered if he somehow felt the Watcher magic. But there was no way he could. He would only notice if he turned and noticed the glow in Grian’s eyes.

Grian let his magically enhanced senses spread out. There was nothing. Nothing at all. And that was a huge red flag. There was always something. He always felt something. There was no sign of any living being, alive or dead close by. Not even a tiny insect. Not even...

Grian suddenly stopped, pulling his hand from Ren’s grasp.

Not even Ren.

He took a few hurried steps back.

“Ren. What is going on? Why… Why do you have no life force?”

There was a weird echoing sound and it took Grian a few seconds to realise that it was laughter. Deep, distorted laughter. And it was coming from Ren.

Ren raised a hand to the mask, taking it off as the hood of the robe fell back as well. 

Grian was staring straight into Ren’s face. It looked like Ren, but the expression seemed so twisted. A grin he had never seen on Ren’s face, revealing sharp teeth when he opened his mouth.

“I’m hungry.”

Grian took a few steps back again. Ren’s mouth stretched open so much further than a human mouth could, revealing so many sharp teeth.

“You look tasty. You smell good”

Grian raised his hand up as fast as he could, but Ren - no, not Ren, something - was faster as he was pushed against a wide tree with a force that was not human, his head hitting the wood hard, making him dizzy.

He summoned his magic up, a purple glow surrounding his whole body. He’d just push the creature off, summon his wings and run off. He just needed another second to collect his energy and-

The creature moved forward. Grian expected an attack, but suddenly lips were pressed against his. It felt weird, it felt wrong. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t pull away. The glow around him started to flicker. He tried to summon his magic, but it kept slipping from his grasp. And then the glow disappeared completely. The creature pulled back from him. His face morphing into that of Impulse and Grian looked at it out of breath, feeling so weak all of the sudden, his legs beginning to shake.

“W-what…?”

“You really are tasty… Unrequited love. The amount of sadness. Loneliness. Desperation. It all called out to me so loud. So tasty.” The creature licked its lips, a long tongue darting from the wide mouth. “I’ve never had a taste this good. Being in love with two people… Must be painful.” Another laugh, echoing all around Grian’s head, Impulse’s voice being distorted as if another voice was speaking at the same time. ”And you have magic as well. This meal will last me for centuries. I will enjoy every last drop of your energy until you’re nothing but a hollow shell… and then I’ll devour you.”

Grian made a tiny sound, raising his hands, weakly trying to push the creature away, but he couldn’t stop it from moving forward again.

“Goodbye, little witch.”

There were lips on his again and Grian’s legs buckled when he grew even weaker. An arm snaked around his waist, holding him upright, as the lips pressed harder against his. 

So this would be his end.

He really should have confessed to Impulse and Ren.

For someone two centuries old he really was a coward.

The creature pushed harder against him. Grian felt sharp teeth. 

His vision swam, black dots dancing in front of his eyes. He searched for his magic. What was usually a roaring wildfire inside of him was now nothing more than a flickering candle flame and he directed it all to pull deeper inside, pulling it down to protect his magic core. He already felt a crack forming at what was essentially his soul, pain spreading through his whole body.

He’d die.

He’d die here and his friends would never even find his dead body, not knowing about his fate, searching for him and maybe one day thinking he abandoned this world.

Grian felt a tear run down his face. His hands fell from the fabric of the robe, his arms dangling uselessly at his side now. It was over.

A loud scream. Grian was falling. There were loud noises. A taunting voice. The creature. Screams. He needed to open his eyes again, to see what was going on. He was on the ground. Would he be devoured now? Something pressed against Grian’s lips and for a second he thought even his last bit of energy would be sucked out now, but it didn’t feel like lips. It was more hard and cold. It pushed unrelenting until Grian opened his mouth the tiniest bit. Liquid started to flood his mouth and through the fog he realised that he knew the all too familiar taste of Stress’ brewing. He swallowed the potion greedily, feeling at least some of his energy return.

Slowly he opened his eyes to see Impulse and Ren’s worried faces right above him, Ren being the one to hold the potion up to his face. Xisuma stood behind them, helmet abandoned, a sword still in his hands. All of them were covered in something that looked like black blood. The bottle of potion disappeared and Grian opened his mouth, but his voice was still weak and barely above a whisper.

“What happened…?”

“A succubus”, Xisuma replied, voice cold as he looked at something on the ground. Grian followed his gaze. On the ground was a body, but it was no longer wearing Impulse’s or Ren’s face, but a weird distorted monstrous grimace, hollow eyes staring emptily at the sky. “I don’t know how it managed to sneak inside this world. I’m glad we made it to you in time. From the way it was glowing I’d say another minute and you would have been dead…” Xisuma stopped and looked at Grian searching for something. “We’ll talk later about why a succubus was also sucking magic from you and not just energy.” 

Grian smiled weakly and nodded.

“I also think the three of you need to talk. I don’t really want a repeat of this. We’re not taking chances… Message me when you’re done. Teleport works again.”

Grian stared after Xisuma in confusion as he walked over to the body, touching it, which caused it to disappear in the green light of his admin magic. Xisuma took one last look at them and then walked away as well. Grian turned to Impulse and Ren, about to ask what this was about, when two pairs of arms pulled him up and he was crushed in a hug.

“Guys…?”

“I’m so sorry, Grian. So sorry. This is all our fault”, Ren whispered, his voice heavy with sadness. Grian didn’t understand why he sounded so sad, but before he could ask, Impulse continued, voice sounding just as depressed.

“It told us. You were just targeted because of us. Because you love us.”

Grian felt his heart sink, his eyes widening. Right. The creature had talked about feeding on his unrequited love. Oh god. It had told them. The taunting voice he had heard in his dazed state. That must have been it.

“I- It’s- I’m…” Grian took a shaking breath. “It’s not your fault. You can’t change the way you guys feel. It’s not your fault you love each other and not me.”

They both pulled back, but only slightly, arms still on Grian as they all sat on the forest floor.

“But Grian…” Ren looked at him, eyes shining as he gently caressed Grian’s back. “We do. We really do love you. We were just cowards. If we had just told you earlier that we loved you”

“You… What?”

“We love you”, Impulse answered, smiling softly. 

Grian sobbed loudly and he felt the stinging of tears in his eyes, trying real hard to hold them back. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. He couldn’t.

“You really don’t have to say that. I don’t need you to pretend The possibilities of another succubus coming by is really low and I bet Xisuma will raise the defenses after today and-”

There was a finger on his lips. Ren’s. Both of them smiled. Both of them looked at him with nothing but love.

“Grian, we really do love you”, Ren said and Grian couldn’t hold the tears back any longer, letting them flow freely, raising his arms to put them around the other two now again, all of them pressed together tightly.

“God, I love you two so much.”

“We know”, Ren said and chuckled softly. “Almost dying to a love sucking monster is a really crazy way of confessing though, G-man, just so you know.”

Grian laughed through the tears as well and when he pulled back he smiled at them softly. He might have almost died and he still felt far too weak to even walk back, but the way those two looked at him, as if he was the most precious being in this world right now made him think that this might be the best Halloween he’s ever had after all.

[theninjamouse]

Ocean on Fire Phantom of the Opera AU Master List (To be added to as I see fit)

Strap in, this is gonna get long. Big thanks to @thaylepo for indulging me and sending many brilliant ideas. 

This is a basic rundown and ideas that would happen at some point in the story. Obviously some things could change or be added but I’ve just got to get this down before I go nuts

Shore and Grillby were childhood friends.

Shore is the child of a wealthy business man, taught from childhood that the arts are to be treasured and appreciated

However, while she may learn instruments and dance and music, she is to take over the family business, not run away to star in the opera like she wants

Grillby's father (he has parents in this au) was a famous violinist who often was called by Shore's father to perform for parties. He wound up teaching Shore fundamentals of music

Little Grillby was a shy flame. Always trailed along behind his father, clutching his tailcoats

Shore saw the tiny elemental and decided instantly: I'm going to be his BEST FRIEND

Queue stuttering, hesitant Grillby being dragged around the manor, getting into all sorts of trouble and adventures. He's a lot more hardy than Shore is, so he rather often found himself acting as a sort of guard dog. He was utterly distraught when Shore fell and broke her arm. Shore teased him about crying because she couldn’t stand to see him so upset

They also learn music together from Grillby's father. First time Shore hears Grillby sing, she grabs his face and screams with delight until the poor little guy is fully bright blue with blushing

Then Grillby's father dies. A family friend takes Grillby away to one of the opera houses to work. Grillby and Shore are 13 and 10 at this point and have spent the last 6 years together. Shore makes Grillby promise to keep singing, to keep the spark of his father alive through music. He promises

They both wait until they are out of sight of the other to cry

Grillby cries every night for the first 3 months in the opera house. As a monster, he is bullied by many of the other students. He mourns his father's passing and he misses Shore to a near unbearable level. The only comfort he has is when he sings quietly to himself in those few moments when he is alone doing his chores

Then he hears a voice, a soft and gentle voice that asks him why such a bright flame weeps. He runs away in fear and hides in his bed

But the voice asks him again and again. 'Why does such a bright flame weep?' Slowly, over the course of a year, Grillby tells the voice his story

The voice says he is the Phantom of the opera house. Grillby thinks he sounds rather young to be a Phantom

The Phantom replies that Grillby is rather young to have such a lovely voice. He offers to teach Grillby. The fire monster agrees upon hearing the Phantom's beautiful and haunting voice

After all, he did promise

15 years pass. Shore has taken over her family business and is finally able to offer herself as a patron to an opera house that has shown remarkable growth over the years, becoming well known in the arts circles

Partially thanks to the star of the show, a humanoid robot named Mettaton. Most of the monsters we know work the show behind the scenes, so having a monster in the lead is a new leap in gaining treatment that is more fair for monster kind as performers

But Mettaton is also a diva. The day Shore arrives with new managers, he throws his tantrum and quits after a rather suspicious accident.

Shore only has eyes for the fire elemental standing frozen with the rest of the crew. She suggests letting him take the lead role. Promising that she knows he can sing.

Grillby is so quiet most assumed he couldn't even talk so naturally protests break out and Shore maybe uses her power as a patron to insist. 'He promised me,' is all she says, looking right at him

So he sings and everyone is stunned at the strength and grace of his voice. The managers instantly whisk him away to prepare for the show

After the show, Shore goes to his new dressing room and they fall into each other's arms. They speak of times past, of the loneliness of being apart. But when Shore says that she wants to take him out to celebrate, he hesitates. The Phantom will not be happy if he leaves, he knows this

But he agrees and she leaves to let him change

Enter in The Phantom. Showing himself for the first time, a figure in black wearing a simple white mask over his face. White hands punched through the palms. Grillby is enchanted, dazed and follows The Phantom into the tunnels under the opera house

*Music of the Night noises*

Grillby has a bit of a Crisis because he genuinely cares about Phantom and they became very close friends as much as teacher and student but this is kind of odd?? A little frightening?

Phantom sees this, backpedals real hard but hides it and sends Grillby back upstairs before falling into bed and screaming into his pillow

When Shore finds Grillby vaguely wandering back into the theater, she goes, uh??? What happened?? Were you kidnapped? I kind of stayed up all night looking for you??

Grillby, still a little in shock because what the heck just happened "Kind of?"

Now that won't STAND

Shore starts digging to find out everything she can about this opera ghost, keeping a close eye on Grillby. There is no gaslighting here folks like in versions of the story that to this day drive me crazy

As Shore digs, accidents start happening. Loose floorboards, unlatched equipment, a falling sandbag or two. Shore catches on pretty quickly what’s happening when she catches just a flash of shadow more than once right before or after these little ‘incidents’ 

Finally plants herself down in the middle of the stage and calls for the Phantom to show his face. It takes a while then she sees a shadow just barely move. He’s up in the rafters, crouched like some kind of bat

“What is your freaking deal?” 

“Why are you trying to take what’s mine?” 

“Yours? He belongs to himself you dingbat”

That makes him laugh for reasons Shore doesn’t get

Conversation happens, a lot of dodging questions, shifting blame. Phantom is oddly charming. For being an attempted murdering/kidnapping jerk

“Are you the one who keeps trying to kill me? The sandbag dropped on my head, the broken trapdoor, the spiders in my hat??”

“Oh my God, I’m not responsible for every little thing that goes wrong in this place. It’s an old building, accidents do happen. 

“The sandbag was me though.”

Grillby materializes just to smack him in the head for that

And so it goes, Grillby and Shore trying to reconnect, Grillby trying to maintain a level of friendship (and maybe more?) with Phantom and Phantom attempting various levels of accidents to get Shore to leave the theater

Until one day he finds Shore on the stage. She’s singing to an empty theater. She’s not...good exactly but...rather unpracticed. He’s startled enough that he stops his evil giggling and untwisting of the hidden trapdoor in the stage to listen. 

He comes up silently, creeping on the edges just out of sight. When he speaks, Shore shrieks and nearly falls off the stage anyway. Her blushing does a weird thing to his Soul. Like a sort of flip flopping squeeze. 

“Well, if you’re going to think yourself worthy of my Flame, you’d better have a voice to match. Let me hear you sing again.”  

Many ‘threat’ filled lessons later-

“Hmm. Maybe there’s hope for you after all” 

“Maybe there’s more to you than a creepy stalker personality.” 

Past the Point of No Return scene happens at some point. I don’t make the rules

Also Phantom and Shore have a sword fight that maybe starts out as anger fueled but rather quickly changes to a pent up Feelings kind of deal

Grillby’s concern is quick to fade and he watches the two idiots dance around each other, wondering why exactly they don’t see how much they actually do like each other. 

It’s also at this moment he realizes fully that he loves them both

“Well shoot, I love these two morons and they love each other but won’t admit it. This is going to be very ‘fun’ to sort out”

Eventually, Shore asks for Phantom’s name. 

“My name...died with the person I was long ago.” 

“Maybe it’s time you reclaim it.” 

His name is Wing Dings Gaster and for countless years he was held by the Void. He doesn’t fully remember how he escaped, nor what he looked like before. All he knows is that his face is broken with terrible cracks and skeletal in only the vaguest sense with a body that ebbs and flows with darkness. When he first stumbled back into the light after the darkness of the Void, people screamed and ran from him. Or worse, they chased him, calling him an omen of death. So he retreated down below the theater and resigned himself to always be a watcher and made a mask to cover his face. 

He was alone for years until he heard young Grillby crying in a corner and sat as close as he dared. It took a while for him to gain the courage to speak to the elemental

Given the fluid nature of his body, it’s easy for him to change his voice to sing. It’s the only part of himself that he can see as holding any worth. 

Grillby was his only source of socialization and he’s terrified of losing him, which makes Phantom a tad bit clingy with some pretty severe separation anxiety 

Phantom is a sad, sad boy who needs a lot of hugs and therapy

Shore is kind to him despite it all (and despite the irritation at the ‘death threats’) 

Phantom finally admits that she was never in any actual danger because he might be a messed up guy but he’s not a murderer. He might have even nudged her out of the way with blue magic a few times to make sure she wasn’t hurt.

Eventually Phantom realizes he no longer wants her to leave. He wants to stand with her and Grillby. He wants to be a better monster but he doesn’t know how to do that so kind of retreats into his lair 

Grillby and Shore have to track him down. And queue the heart to heart, the great Crying Session, the Unmasking or whatever you wanna call it

And they all live an OT3 happy ending, the end

[noonmutter]

Kinky Questions, Go!! ALL 50! At least the ones you haven't gotten yet.

*knucklecrack*

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

"Yes. If I gotta pick one, couch. Th' dryer's noisy an' I like bein' able t' hear th' other person.

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Answered here!

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

(I actually don't know any ingame fiction to draw an answer from here, sorry. <.<)

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

"Pullin' me int' you. Up, down, chest-t'-chest, back-t'-chest, whatever. Not often I get manhandled, y'ken?"

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

"I mean, never say never, but somewhere it'd take some real convincin' t'get me t' do it? Th' meetin' space at th' center o' th' Dreamgrove. I'd sooner set my 'air on fire than fuck where th' statue o' Malorne might watch me, an' Remulos would not approve."

(Rest below the cut! Yes I did do all of them!)

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

"...Wakin' up in a pile o' people after an especially long bender, none of 'om I recognized, an' not one stitch o' clothin' anywhere in sight except fer a gnome-sized miniskirt. An' there were no gnomes in th' pile! "Days like tha' are why I don't fuck drunk anymore."

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

"Tenderizin' steak." Sigh. "Pretty sure it was th' smell o' th' raw meat, mostly.

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

"With my bare 'ands, or with my teeth 'oldin' somethin' sensitive. Wolf's snout kin fit all th' way 'round most people's throats without actually bitin' down as long as I get th' canines all th' way across, an' as long as neither of us move too terribly much, it's great fun."

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

"Hook a finger in my collar an' pull me t' yer eye level. Trouble is, if we're not already pretty damn close an' y' start grabbin' at my collar, I might punch y'."

10: Top or bottom?

"Switch."

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in] "We were about t' sneak off t' start our 'oneymoon but then I tripped through a portal some jackass dropped in th' middle o' th' weddin' party an' 'ad t' fly all th' way back first.

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

"Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it's a start, sometimes it's not even th' point. Really depends on th' mood at th' moment, dunnit? I like t'go as many rounds as either of us kin stand, most o' th' time, but I def'nitely find plenty o' value in just one long, slow go tha' ends when it ends.

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

His expression was less jovial than for most of these questions. "Th' collar I made for Vandy."

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

"Squigglebird. Long story."

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

"Like th' noises it makes a person make--vocally, I mean--an' th' views it gives o' th' person I'm goin' down on an' th' person tha's goin' down on my. Don't like th' taste all tha' much, really 'ate some o' th' noises yer lips an' throat make if yer a li'l overzealous."

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

"Li'l inflatable toy thingie in m' backside. Felt alright fer a while, cuz I mean it wasn't like it was th' first time I'd 'ad anythin' in there, but ah... she kept goin' past my willin'ness, an' it got pretty damn uncomfortable pretty damn fast. I might be willin' t' try it again but not without a lotta thought b'fore'and, an' not with my 'ands bound.

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Tasted like cum. Nothin' special."

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

"I mean, if y'both agree to it an' y'don't fool around with anybody else, then yeah it's fine. Overwhelmin' majority o' th' time, I wrap up, even with m'wives."

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

"...I din't 'ave any teachers I thought were sexy? My first shan'do was a 'andsome elven woman 'o could arm-wrestle a grizzly an' win, but she wasn't wha' I'd call sexy. Too gruff, too keen t' be alone."

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

"Not somethin' I really think about in advance, t'be honest. Cook or no cook, food just kinda 'appens on a whim."

21: How big is too big:

"Can't get my mouth 'round it is usually a problem. Length isn't so much a concern, just means y' won't get t' bury it all th' way after a certain point unless y' want me dead."

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

"Mess with any bod'ly fluids besides cum. I tried real 'ard t'understand tha' one an' I just can't, sorry. Gross."

23: Biggest turn on:

"Depends on th' person; wha's 'ot from one is wierd comin' from another. Pickin' out of a hat? When Val'rin says somethin', then rolls 'is eyes up t' look at me an' tacks on a plaintive li'l 'Sir?' at th'end."

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

"Pretty much anywhere on m' throat, th' undersides o' my wrists, an' my 'air. Partic'larly yankin' on it. Just... don't come up an' do it outta nowhere. Like with m' collar, tha' shit'll get y' punched an' I'd argue y' prolly deserve it."

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

"Most times aren't really tha' bad, Iunno... middle of a warzone I guess?"

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

"I'm kinna suspicious of anybody 'o doesn't. Wha' kinna person doesn't love tha' kinda instant feedback? Tell me I'm doin' a good job, tell me 'ow t' do a better job, tell me just 'ow blown yer mind is by losin' track o' words, sing me a song."

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

"Really dunno why I thought it was a good idea t' let a blindfolded guy toss me anywhere, least of all into a bed with a solid headboard on it."

He touched the back of his head in remembered pain.

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

"When yer chafed an' still 'aven't finished cuz yer too damned raw and desensitized t' get off, it's prolly time t' stop fer a while."

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Answered here!

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

"Landin' strip, ideally. I kin deal with whatever but tha's th' most convenient amount. Less potential fer mess."

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut?

"What a bizarre question, 'course it is. Shit, sometimes tha's 'alf th' point."

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fuckin”

"Bite my neck 'r pin me t' a wall."

33: What your favorite part of your body:

"My 'air. It's gotten damned difficult t' take care of, but th' tradeoff's pretty worth it."

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

"Touchin'. Just... touchin'. Runnin' my fingers real light an' soft across ev'ry...single...inch...of a playmate's body. Learnin' th' curves, th' blemishes, th' scars, th' ins, th' outs, th' sensitive spots, th' ticklish bits, th' fav'rites all by touch. I kin do tha' fer hours if they'll let me."

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math that's “greater than, less than, or equal to]

"Does not equal. Th' two kin be completely unrelated t'one another an' tha's perfec'ly fine. They kin en'hance each other when they're both involved, but they aren't incomplete without one another at all."

36: What do you wear to bed?

"If I kin get away with it, nothin'. I run 'ot these days, it's real easy t' overheat if I wear stuff t' sleep.

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

"Gods, Iunno. Thirteen? Fifteen? Somewhere in there."

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

"Not tha' I keep fer very long. I make 'em an' send 'em t' people tha' I made 'em for, then I get rid of 'em cuz I don't wanna watch m'self wankin' or whatever."

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

"So many times, gods alive. Last time was a few days ago, if y' count th' back acres on our property as outside enough."

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

Leon just kinda snorted. (See previous answer!)

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

"Sev'ral times, an' I would 'appily do so again with th' right people. Fun, but occasionally tricky t' figger out."

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

"Most o' th' time I'm very borin' an' just stick t' my 'and an' maybe a dildo, but I got one o' those vibratin' sleeve thingers not too long ago tha' I've been meanin' t' try out..."

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

"No, an' maybe. If I were still workin' in a kitchen where other people 'ad t' work an' there's food ev'rywhere, it'd be an absolutely not. I work in a private workshop by th' 'ouse now, so I kin get away with it more, long as 'm careful. Thus far I 'aven't been so tempted tha' I couldn't make it back in th' house first, though."

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

"Never been in one, be willin' t' try. I've 'eard 'ow tiny those bathrooms are."

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

"...gonna 'ave t' ask me that'un again in a few months when I know more songs, sorry."

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

Answered here!

47: Most attractive celebrity?

"Do th' Tarts count as celebrities? I'm not even gonna try t' pick one, but tha's all I got."

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

"Not a big porn-watcher in gen'ral, my life feels like a goddamned romance novel as it is. Not often I need more'n a couple o' particularly fond mem'ries."

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

"Four days."

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

(Hard to answer this one since the internet at large isn't really a thing in WoW, at least not in a widely-accepted enough way for me to answer it...)

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

"Put-downs. Don't call me slut or boy or bitch--gods, especially not bitch--or th' like if y'want me t' go 'ome with y'."

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

"Not tha' I've seen."

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

"Like givin' it cuz it makes m' playmate feel real nice, don't like th' flavor s' much."

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

"Doesn't make a dif'rence t' me, aside from most tattoos bein' pretty."

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

"Done it, though I'm not a fan o' th' phrasin'. They put some trust in me, I din't take anythin'."

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

"Nothin' spicy. Period. Just don't. It's not worth it."

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

(Another one that doesn't really have an answer in this context.)

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

Leon burst out laughing and pointed at the full-size steamer trunk at the foot of his bed. "Tha's not even close t' all of it, either. Gods alive, wha' a question t' ask me!"

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

"Wouldn't give 'em unrestricted access t' anythin' private o' mine fer a day. If it's tha' private t' begin with, it's cuz it's my safe 'aven, an' they respect tha', same as I do their private stuff."

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

"A li'l bit if it came outta nowhere, but I've talked a fair bit about wishin' I could get rid o' some o' my scars. It's not somethin' I wouldn't consider tryin'."

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

"Pretty 'appy doin' th' latter as it is. Don't think I'd wanna try th' recorded stuff, it seems like it'd be really awkward t' do tha' fer a cam'ra crew an' with somebody 'o ain't really enjoyin' it."

62: Do you watch porn?

"Not really. Most of it's not int'restin' t' me."

63: How small is too small?

"'Too small' is 'ard fer me t' quantify. I 'aven't found anythin' too small fer me t' work with some'ow."

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Bit of a flat look. "Worgen."

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

"Me an' th' guy 'o fucked me on th' fence out back shared quite a few kisses b'fore, durin', an' after. Mostly they meant 'fuck yer hot.'"

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

"I mean, I could. Nothin' on there I wouldn't want any of 'em t' see. Be a bit inconvenient though."

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

"Frankly I'm more comfortable tha' way than otherwise. Spent too long with a big ol' poof o' fur around m' crotch t' be comfy with most undies. Same reason I'm not overly fond o' shoes either."

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

"Purely in a logistical sense, yeah. I kin still go t' town an' do thin's right, but it's... sloppy. Those 'airs seem t' WANT t' get in yer mouth, an' all tha', an' it's just so much messier overall."

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

"'O says I can't?"

70: Booty or Boobs?

"I am very much an ass man."

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

"I do, but I didn't. Namin' it seems strange."

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

"Sev'ral, but all of 'em only took place in th' last few years. Never when I was growin' up."

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

"No, an' I never will, an' you kin quote me on tha'."

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

"I 'aven't th' faintest idea 'ow tha' works."

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

"Nope. Never 'ad th' opportunity, an' I think I'd rather throw up on th' floor an' eat it."

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

"Sweet, I'm gettin' a new bed!"

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

"Assumin' we're not talkin' about my own bits... 'That's not gonna fit!' fer a dick, an' 'This is a lot less sexy than th'other lads made it out t'be' fer a cooch."

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

Answered here!

79: Oral, Anal, or Vaginal? 

"Yes."

80: What’s the first thing you look at on someone of the opposite gender?

"Their face. Also 'ow they carry themselves. But mostly their face."

( @pinpep @shckaewynn @valarin-sunstorm for mentions )

[yanara126-writing]

The Adventures of Hildraed Dawnsbane -  Fucking Morals and Damnit Fine (5/?)

Farmer, Pirate, Menace, Captain, Dawnsbane. Hildraed has many titles, she really could have lived well without Watcher.

-

Hildraed meets a certain chanter and is faced with the uncomfortable revelation that she might be making friends.

-

Read here or on Ao3. (3224 words)

Have fun! Comments always welcome! :)

-

The keep was… something. Something for sure. Even from a distance they could see the broken, rotting walls. How fitting. Certainly reflective of her mental state.

Mud stuck on her boots as she dragged them over the moist ground, not bothering to lift her feet. She could practically feel the elf boy’s disapproving glare. Well too bad for him, if she had suffer she’d at least look like it too, so nobody got any dumb expectations. Thankfully that message seemed to come across to her companions, because no one bothered her until they finally reached the outer walls.

Well, technically none of them bothered her then either, instead it was someone else, an island aumaua happily humming at a crumbling wall. Alright then. Sure there weren’t all that many fortresses in the Deadfire, but still this decaying pile of stones could hardly be that interesting.

“Fascinating brick wall, I’m sure.” Some distant part of her brain told her it probably wasn’t her greatest idea ever to immediately antagonize every random stranger just minding their own business, but she really, really didn’t give a shit right now. She winced at another painful pulse shooting through her head.

Fortunately the stranger didn’t seem to mind either way.

“Oh, it is! Or the wall itself maybe not, it is a very traditional build. But here look! An inscription! The builders most likely, signing their work. Isn’t it fascinating?” The aumaua was smiling at her now, his terrible sincerity completely frying Hildraed’s brain. That and the Rauataian accent. That was a bit unexpected.

Once again the stranger didn’t seem to mind her undoubtedly rude, mindless stare, for he didn’t even wait for an answer before continuing his excited babble.

“But the truly interesting part is in there." He points a piece of charcoal in his hand at the gates. "...and I haven't had much luck in reaching the keep itself. I hoped to find the master of this place - a man by the name of Maerwald - but it seems that he either holds his privacy most dear or else has been devoured by his houseguests.” Somehow, not even his with sharp teeth infested grin he seemed threatening. How could a humanoid shark look so cuddly? Oh wait, he probably expected an answer.

„Mjam. Old man, delicious.“ Oh well, not the worst thing she’d ever said. That opinion quickly changed when the stranger’s loud, bellowing laugh nearly made her go cross-eyed from the headache.

“For some fellows I’m sure! But personally I’d prefer a talk over making a meal of him. You see, I’ve travelled far and wide over Eora in search of the Tanvii ora Toha. You know it?” Unfortunately. Though she hadn’t encountered a ton of Rauataians (or at least not many willing to have a talk), there had been a few. And they tended to talk when drunk. Often unbidden and at length.

Okay that was a lie, Hildraed had always sucked up knowledge like a sponge, so of course she had interrogated everyone in reach for anything interesting or useable. Not that this guy needed to know that. Why had they been talking about that again? Oh yes. Wait what?

“Sure, sure. But why should it be here?” Still undeterred his grin grew even wider.

“Now that is the question isn’t it? I have no idea! But still the traces are leading me here. Unfortunately I haven’t had much luck breaching the defences, however unintentional they are.” For the first time during their conversation something other than rampant enthusiasm appeared on his face. If she hadn’t known better Hildraed might have called it sly. Oh who was she kidding, she didn’t know any better. “There must be some reason you’re here, is there not? I’m certain together we’ll have better chances to reach the fort than alone!” His eyes wandered over to the side. Oh yes, she wasn’t travelling alone. If she was forgetting this already the headache was slowly becoming more dangerous than annoying. Still very annoying though. “That is, if your companions don’t mind me joining.”

The elf boy did look miffed, but when did he not? And he didn’t seem inclined to deny the protection another party member would bring, so Hildraed counted him on board. She doubted the farmer would be an issue, but then again what did she know about these people. She turned around to him. And promptly did a double take at his dopey grin.

“’Long as you don’t try to hang me off a tree, I’m square.” Hildraed blinked. Perhaps it wasn’t actually her, perhaps people just talked to this man like that. And from the way he STILL grinned that was probably not farfetched.

“That I believe is a promise I can make. I don’t even think any of the trees left here would be able to hold you.” Yep, that settled it. Everyone else here was just as insane as her. How comforting. “Now to official introductions, my name is Kana. Kana Rua. At your service.” What followed was hat flourish that made Hildraed actually home sick. How come everyone had an awesome hat except her?

Introductions were quickly done away with (or so Hildraed thought, at this point she couldn’t be sure of anything), and they set off for the keep. The sooner they were inside the better.

Unfortunately the mentioned house guests apparently disagreed with that sentiment. As soon as they set foot into the courtyard they were set upon by multiple shades, followed by some phantoms, all of them very angry.

And at this point Hildraed was too. Her head was hurting like a bitch, nothing made sense in this damn place, and even the fucking wildlife wanted to skin her. She was tired. Oh so tired. But she was also absolutely livid.

The shades swarmed them, phantoms following up close and the banter died down. Swords slashed against strange, mist like flesh in an uncomfortably screeching noise, spells were muttered and let loose in stabbingly bright flashes of colours.

And Hildraed screamed. As soon as the creatures were within range she let loose howl so disharmonic it could barely be counted as a chant. The spirits, hanging dark and heavy in the air, almost seemed to screech along with her as they were pushed back, but they had no chance to compete with Hildraed’s pure rage. There was no one around anymore, just her and (soon to be) dead bastards.

Feet on moist earth, cool air of the evening brushing almost gently across her cheek, thuds in her ears, red in her eyes, heavy breath from her throat. Gravity pulling at her she fell into every swing, using momentum to rip her broadsword back up. A deadly dance accompanied by her furious chants. One she had danced and sung many, many times. One she had not actually wanted to dance and sing again.

And that cost her. She was tired, angry, frustrated. And also no longer used to solid ground as her dance floor. She stepped forward, swinging her sword upwards in anticipation of a wave that didn’t come. The sword went wide. The weight pulled her along, eyes wide as her balance tipped. Her breathed hitched, a second to long for the chorus, and her next verse slipped out of her grasp. The familiar sensation of an ended chant was just as horrifying as her fall. A lost chant was a lost life in battle, be it hers or her crew, most likely both.

Her back hit the ground with a heavy thump, her sword clanking right next to her, ripped aside with a well-trained reflex to not impale her. Not that it would do her much good anymore.

One more clank, this time from above her. A back to her, broad, and blond hair on the head above it. What?

Suddenly her head burned hot for a second, and the world was back in sharp focus. The farmer in front of her fending off the phantom she’d attempted to decapitate, from behind her a chant. Her chant. Well not anymore, now with a halfway clear head again she could feel that chant had not dissolved when she’d lost hold of it, instead someone else had picked it up and continued it. Somebody who sounded like they had shark teeth.

The light of a Minoletta spell stabbed her eyes for once she was glad for the headache it caused (strangely reduced now from before), as it finally triggered her fighting instincts again. She rolled over, carefully avoiding the sword (and getting grass stains all over herself for it) and dragged herself back up.

She allowed herself one glance backwards, which told her that indeed the newcomer was a chanter, and not a bad one at that, and also that she should most certainly remain on the front line with the farmer. The elf boy looked both determinedly terrified and very squishy, and though the sharkman could probably take a hit, there was no need to risk the chant breaking again.

Ripping her eyes away from the first chanter she’d seen in a long, long time, she heaved her sword back up and fell into a defensive position between their main fighter and the squishy wizard. Not a position she was used to, but she would manage.

The fight didn’t continue for much longer, as her companions had made short work of the spirits while she’d been in a bloodthirsty (smokethirsty? Aetherthirsty? Maybe ask the wizard later) rage. Few hits managed to get through to her, and though she would have been hard pressed to admit it, it was probably for the best. The voice from behind her was deeply distracting. He wasn’t singing her phrases anymore. Neither did he sound much like her. But she- she liked it. It was nice. Unfamiliar.

The last shadow disintegrated and a loud collective sigh moved through the group. The wizard was obviously very desperately trying not to hug his grimoire for comfort, the fighter was drenched in sweat like he’d been dropped into the sea, and the- the chanter’s hat was close to falling off, much like his by now wavering grin.

And they’d made it barely through the courtyard.

Fuck.

Hildraed was very tempted to just let herself fall into the giant, overgrown flowerbed next to them and wait for the ground to just swallow her. But then again, she’d lead a crew for too long to give in to that impulse. The close house it was then. The keep itself would definitely be infested, but perhaps, hopefully, the house had been spared this fate. They’d see. At the very least it couldn’t be too many in the enclosed space, and Hildraed really, really didn’t want to camp again. Or at least she didn’t want to camp outside in the cold anymore.

“Ladies, we’re trying our luck in the house.” Despite her desperate need to fall over again, she waited for the others to shuffle past her, in the elf’s case with a badly suppressed glower at her word choice. Which was indeed very funny and Hildraed could feel her lips twitch upwards. And though in other situations she would have relished in the mirth, perhaps right now wasn’t time for this. Sadly.

Thankfully, no one had any other objections (in fact she was almost sure the singing shark had found it funny.) and they made their way over to the house with only their general grumpiness as an obstacle.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The inside of the house was hardly comfortable, but Hildraed had slept in worse places. She certainly didn’t want to stay in this shithole, but it was acceptable for a night, if it would keep her out of the wind.

That was what she kept telling herself, continuously plucking out gravel from her ass and back, as she had made the grave mistake of attempting to lie down. Or more accurately, she had flopped down and immediately cursed herself. Loudly.

That in turn had made the elf into a blushing, stammering mess, and he’d fled into a corner digging his nose into a book. Which he had from… somewhere. Hildraed wasn’t quite sure where, but she wasn’t about to ask. Mostly because she was curious how long it would take him to admit that he was sitting on a sharp stone.

“Ow.” She grimaced and winced as she pulled out (probably) the last pebble. She hoped these weren’t like sand. Sand you’d find in the weirdest places days later. Much like companions apparently.

One of which had left to check out the stairs up and had yet to return. Strange noises were coming from the direction of hallway, but as none of them were growls or shouts, Hildraed was willing to ignore them. She didn’t know what the lonely farmer was doing in the back that would cause minor rockslides, and frankly she had no intention to find out.

A fire was lit in the middle of the room, next to the broken fountain. The structure might have been beautiful once, but now it was barely more than a heap of rubble. A shame really. Not that Hildraed cared. It wasn’t like the thing reminded her of the old church, the only impressive construction in her old village. It wasn’t like they’d had anything like it there, a small pool in which she’d played with the other children during her childhood. Nope, not at all.

With that thought she slumped down on the ground (carefully making sure to not repeat her mistake), her back to the structure, and poked the fire a bit. It crackled in front of her, warm and bright, while at the same time dousing the room in an ominous shadow, flames dancing on the walls in a constantly changing rhythm.

“Are you alright?” The voice sounded genuinely concerned, which surprised Hildraed more than the sudden words. She looked up through the flames, and her stupidly poetic with exhaustion brain tried to jumpstart another ramble at the sight of the aumaua’s changed skin colour. She was tempted to try and find a stick to beat her head with, but somehow, she didn’t think that would be very helpful. She sighed.

“Are any of us?” Another dumb thought she hadn’t wanted to voice. The crew didn’t need to know her own insecurities. Thankfully, the awkward silence was broken by another one of their companions.

“The stairs up are completely collapsed. Before anything from up there could attack us, it’d break its neck coming down.” Edér stepped out from the side room, rubbing his neck, rubble stuck all over his clothes and his hair. At least he hadn’t broken his neck. With whatever he was doing. Since his clothes only seemed dirty and not actually all that dishevelled though, she felt almost bad for her inner monologue’s implications. Only almost though, because obviously he’d still been dumb enough to crawl around there.

He flopped down next to them, giving Aloth and his book a cursory glance. Only to immediately grimace in regret again. Hildraed snorted.

An awkward silence followed. Hildraed stared into the flames. But really what should she say to these people? She didn’t know them, not really. She was just sitting in these fucking pebbles with them. Right? And why would she want to know them, knowing them brought responsibilities, knowing them would mean having to take care of them. She was done with that life, she didn’t have a crew anymore and didn’t want one. The fact that she had referred to them as such meant nothing. Old habits, nothing more.

“Would you sing with me?” What?

“What?” Hildraed blinked at- at- Kana. His name was Kana.

“Would you sing with me?” Nope, not any clearer, not even with his grin restored. “Your form in the fight was fascinating, and I would be honoured if you were to give me the opportunity of a chant with you.” He was looking at her over the fire with this shining, honest smile, and for a second Hildraed could feel her heart break. Gods be damned he was cute. He was a full grown man with the enthusiasm of a child. No she couldn’t keep looking at this, his excitement might actually melt her.

Unfortunately, for some reason, turning away didn’t help. On her other side sat- Edér. And though he wasn’t quite as high level excitement, he looked terribly derpy with his dusty face and clothes, and also intrigued at the concept of show. Which she was not giving. She wasn’t a fucking circus horse.

And the- Aloth, sitting across the room, doing a horrible job of subtly eyeing them with interest over his book would change nothing about it. Not even his embarrassing blush at having been spotted.

Oh who was she still trying to lie to. She had tried to keep her distance and had failed, now she might as well enjoy what she got out of it.

The self-revelation came and took the last bit of her adrenaline though. If she was going to give them a show, it would at least be an impressive one. She sighed, and for some reason it felt strangely liberating.

“Fine, boy, but not right now. First a nap. I couldn’t hit a note right now if I tried.” Now that was probably a lie, but she still wouldn’t be good. She almost didn’t dare look up, in fear that he had also mastered the sad puppy look, which might just be fatal for her conviction. Regrettably, her eyes drifted over on their own, and though he looked a little disappointed, Kana either couldn’t or didn’t want to utilize the sad puppy dog look. For Hildraed there were reasons to hope for both.

And while she was already looking at him, she couldn’t help but eye him.

“You know, you could bolster your chances for tomorrow by being my pillow for tonight.” He stared at her with surprise, and Hildraed wanted to bite herself. She was mushy enough, no need to make it worse! (And what if she’d made him uncomfortable now?)

The moment passed though, and his grin returned full force. Instead of giving a verbal answer he just opened his arms expectantly. Before he (or she) could come to their senses and realize just how stupidly mushy they were being, she turned to the side, putting her head on his thigh. (Which was exactly as comfortable as it looked.)

This however put her into the uncomfortable position of having to see Edér’s slightly jealous glances, and Aloth’s now more frequent shifting. She rolled her eyes.

“Fine, come here, bear, we don’t want anyone getting pneumonia here. And kid, please just come to the fire at least, there’s no need to skulk. And also pull that stone out of your bum, you’re proving nothing.”

Before she could see their reaction she turned into the other direction, entirely ignoring the shuffling behind and beside her. She didn’t care what they doing. Okay she did, but at least for now that was only her business.

Which is why she definitely didn’t ask: “How about a demonstration if you’re still so fit?”

Which is why she definitely didn’t feel vindicated at the excited answer.

Which is why she certainly didn’t fall asleep to the velvety tunes of a Rauataian hymn.

[banditthewriter]

Go Good Together - Tommy Shelby

Okay, so this is over eleven thousand words and I am incredibly nervous about posting... but here goes!

Title from Forever by Billy Raffoul which was a big inspiration for parts of this fic.

Warning: Smut! And violence! Not at the same time though.

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif not mine*

Enjoy!

*****

The restaurant was packed when you got there with Charlotte. She grinned and giggled in an attractive manner as you were led to a vacant table. 

Somehow going out with Lottie always got you at the front of the line. She just had a way about her.

Drinks were brought first. You were an avid people watcher so while Lottie told you a story about something that had happened in the office this morning, you looked at the other people in the restaurant. 

More than a few couples. There were some men off to the side that seemed to have a rough edge to them. A group of women you vaguely recognized from town. There was another group of men who looked like bankers or lawyers, men who thought they ran the world. 

"And you're not even listening to me."

You snapped your attention back to your friend and gave her a light smile. 

"Sorry Lottie, you know how I get in large groups. You said that Fredrick asked you to dinner?"

Satisfied that you hadn't been completely ignoring her, Lottie went into her turning down her boss. You sipped at your drink and focused on her a little more this time.

Food was brought rather quickly. While you ate, you noticed that your friend's attention was to the side of the room. You followed her grinning gaze and found what had caught her focus. It was the group of rather rough looking men.

But there was one in particular that was looking in the direction of the two of you. From the distance you couldn't make out much. His hair was longer on top but shaved on the sides. He had a look about him that reminded you of a razor blade; sharp and dangerous at any moment.

"Jesus that is one fine man," Lottie said as she sipped at her drink. 

You shook your head fondly as you looked down at your food. 

"Your taste in men astounds me," you teased as you speared some lettuce from her salad and wrinkled your nose at the dressing she had used. 

"Not even you could look at that man and say he isn't worth a few rough edges," she shot back as she started to dig into her own meal. 

You would admit that besides that sharp look, there was something attractive and appealing about him. You had never been one for the dangerous types, but you couldn't keep your eyes from going back to his table. 

Tall, dark, and handsome. It wasn't fair that he had it all. But you weren't looking for the kind of fun Lottie was interested in. While you never judged her for going home with men that she just met, you preferred to only sleep with someone you were romantic with. 

The last date you had gone on had ended with the man calling you a prude and never calling on you again. It was upsetting.

"Well damn," Lottie complained when she looked up a little while later, "they've gone."

You followed her gaze to the now empty table and felt an unfamiliar hollowness. It wasn't like you would have introduced yourself. The man had obviously been taken with Lottie, like most men were.

"You should have introduced yourself while you still could," you told her as you grabbed your drink, somehow at ease and still tense without him in the restaurant anymore. 

"We will have to eat here more often," your friend teased as she knocked her drink into yours. 

You didn't have a complaint. You'd quite like to see him again, even if it was from afar.

------

Lottie was dancing around you in circles and you were laughing fondly at her antics. She had finally convinced you to join her at a pub or club for the night. There wasn't much of a nightlife in Birmingham but you didn't mind. 

The two of you made your way down the walkway towards one of the few clubs that she had frequented before. Two doors up at a gentlemen's club, the door opened and you didn't have enough time to stop Lottie before she ran smack into someone. 

The man helped her steady herself, keeping his body close to hers. At first you thought to pull her away, but you could see the interest from where you stood. 

She was intrigued by this rough looking lad. He had a hat pulled down a little low, a toothpick sticking from between his teeth, and eyes that were flitting over Lottie's form like had had just been handed the keys to the kingdom. 

"My bad," he apologized as he looked her over, his eyes only barely noticing you, "wasn't watching where I was going. Let me make it up to you."

And there was your Lottie, giggling and twirling her short hair as she lowered her eyelids. She didn't have to flirt to get what she wanted but when she did, it was damn near devastating. 

And this man was lost.

At some point, you all exchanged names. He was John Shelby, said as if the name should ring a bell. Maybe it didn't for Lottie because she had sat up straighter while she continued to flirt. He got both of your names and then offered for the two of you to join him at some place called the Garrison. 

Lottie agreed for the two of you. He wrapped his arm around Lottie's waist and then offered his arm to you. You did appreciate that he didn't take any liberties with you. In fact you would consider his interactions with you as almost gentlemanly. 

And considering the things he whispered to Lottie on your walk, you were surprised he had it in him. Perhaps he could tell that you were not interested in that, but it was very obvious that Lottie wasn't going anywhere without you.

The Garrison was a loud and raucous pub. The man behind the bar greeted John with a familiarity that made you think they must be good friends. There was some resemblance so maybe even relatives. 

John brought the two of you to a little room near the front door. It had a private window that opened up straight into the bar where alcohol could be passed back and forth. He settled into one of the plush benches with Lottie on his arm.

You felt ignored, but you didn't mind. There had been a few other men with John but you didn't catch their names. None of them stuck around when it became apparent that you weren't looking for a good time like your friend.

As you pondered heading out and leaving Lottie to her gentleman, the door opened up. In walked a man that took your breath away. And not just because he was dreadfully handsome.

It was the man from the restaurant a few days before. 

Lottie recognized him, but beside a sharp breath, she didn't react. John was nuzzling her neck so that might have had something to do with it. 

"Tommy," John greeted, "this is Lottie and her friend Y/N. Girls, this is my brother Tommy Shelby."

Lottie's eyes grew wide as she looked up at the man, but he didn't notice. Couldn't have because he hadn't looked away from you since he walked in. 

"Charmed," you offered in a soft voice, hoping to melt into the scenery.

Tommy nodded to you and then settled into a seat across the table from you. It was mostly quiet except the hushed whispers from John and Lottie's breathless giggles. That and the noise from the main part of the pub.

At some point Tommy had lit a cigarette, his eyes finally moving from you to his brother for a long moment. 

"John, why don't you show Lottie where we store all the liquor."

John seemed to enjoy that idea and Lottie did too. She gave you a wide eyed excited look before John tugged her out of the room. You couldn't understand her interest in seeing barrels or bottles, but you wouldn't judge her for it. 

You glanced from the door and found yourself getting lost in a pair of ice blue eyes. With a little struggle, you looked down to where your hands were clamped on your knee.

"Smoke?"

His voice was smooth and low. You looked up at him once more and saw that he was holding out a cigarette to you. 

Gingerly you took it from him and leaned in so he could light it for you. 

Thinking that perhaps he didn't want to keep you company, you took a long drag on the cigarette and blew the smoke out.

"I'm sure Lottie won't be long," you said quietly as you looked back at the door.

"Wouldn't surprise me, except she’ll be fucking my brother in the storage room. I don't have much opinion on his prowess."

Well. That was a surprise. Your eyes wide, you looked at Tommy. It took a moment for you to school your features, but not quick enough. You'd seen the smirk on his lips at your surprise. 

"I'm sorry for you then."

That wiped his smirk away. He raised an eyebrow and raised his own cigarette to his lips. 

"Why are you sorry for me?"

How awkward this was. You swallowed and tried to find a tactful way to put it to words.

"I know that you were looking at Lottie at the restaurant a few days ago. It must smart that she's with your brother right now since you were interested in her first."

Tommy blew out a thick puff of smoke, shaking his head as his eyes met yours through the haze.

"I wasn't looking at your friend that day." At your confused look, he explained, "I was looking at you."

Oh. You felt a spread of warmth through you at the thought. This man had been looking at you, not the beautiful Lottie? 

You opened your mouth to respond, although you had no idea what you would say, but the door opened. Lottie's dress was rumbled, her hair nearly ruined, but she was grinning wide. John had his arm around her shoulders and looked much the same. 

"Arthur didn't appreciate catching us," he explained to Tommy, earning a grin. "I'm taking Lottie to the house for a night cap."

You doubted that was all they'd have. She looked at you and you saw her smile waver a bit.

"Don't worry about me," you said quickly as you grabbed your hat and gloves, "I'll find my own way home. You have a good time Lottie."

She looked like she wanted to complain even as John's hands started to tug on her.

"I'll walk her home," Tommy offered in an even tone. He looked from you to the couple in the doorway. "I'll make sure she gets home safe."

Lottie looked as surprised as you felt. She looked to you to make sure you were okay with the change of plans and gave you a quick nod. 

"I'll see you for breakfast," she said with a smile. And then with a high pitched giggle as John whispered something to her, "Make that lunch!"

And in a flurry of hands and laughter, the two were gone. You looked across to Tommy and found him already looking at you. 

"I can find my own way home," you promised, not sure why you didn't want to be alone with him.

"I gave your friend my word. You don't want to make a liar out of me, do you?"

It was said as a tease, but there was an underlying strength to his words. 

He helped you back into your coat. You tugged on your gloves and hat, tucking your bag under your arm securely as Tommy guided you to the door. Outside you were both met with a thin sheet of rain. 

"Shit. I can see if I can borrow an umbrella," he said as he looked around. 

He wore a hat and a thick jacket with the collar up. The rain wasn't so bad at the moment. 

"I only live a few streets away actually. I don't mind the rain."

With that between the two of you, you headed into the night air. The rain kept you alert, the skin of your face growing cold and a little damp. You kept your body hunched in. And Tommy stayed nearby, his arm brushing yours more than once. He made sure you didn't trip on the uneven ground as you guided him down various streets to your flat.

At the door, you let him in to the front lobby of the building. There was only one flat on the first floor besides the landlord. Instead you pointed to the stairs.

"I live on the second floor. Would you, uh, would you like to come up for something to drink? Get a little warmth in you as a thank you for walking me home."

He tilted his head as he looked you over, his eyes lingering on a bead of rain water that made its way down your temple and cheek, disappearing down your jaw.

"Are you asking me up for a fuck or do you really just want to give me something to drink?"

His bluntness took you by surprise, but you shook it off. 

"Just a drink," you stressed as you tugged your jacket a little tighter to you. 

He eyed you for a long moment before he gave a quick nod. 

"Lead the way."

You hurried up the stairs, your heart pounding louder than your combined steps. Now you weren't sure you should invite him in, but it would be rude to rescind the invitation. 

And you didn't want to take it away. While you weren't sure you should he alone with him, you were very sure you didn't want him to leave yet.

On the landing, you went to your door. With one hand using the keys to let you in, you gestured your other hand over your shoulder at another door.

"That's Lottie's place," you told him as you struggled with the lock. "It's how we met, being neighbors."

Most people asked how the two of you had become friends since you were so different. This way they could know for sure that it was because of your environment. 

His hand closed over yours as you continued to struggle with the keys. You stepped away so that he could unlock the door and push it open. You let out a quick breath before you stepped through the doorway. 

Had you even had a man in this flat besides the landlord's son when he helped you move? You really doubted it. You'd been on two dates since you came to Birmingham and neither of them had gotten that far.

You shrugged out of your damp jacket, putting your hat and gloves next to the radiator. In hostess mode, you grabbed at Tommy's jacket to lay it on the radiator to dry. There was a harness of some sort under his suit jacket that held something heavy. You'd seen them on officers before, so finding one on him made you pause.

When your hand went to his hat to do the same, he grabbed your wrist. 

"Careful sweetheart, unless you're not interested in keeping your fingers."

You weren't sure what he meant by that until he removed the hat himself. You saw a glint of metal under the brim at the front. A razor blade.

The Peaky Blinders. You'd heard stories, of course, but you hadn't met any of the members yourself. And if Tommy was one, you were sure John was too. 

You'd been in Birmingham for almost two years without meeting one of the gangsters and now you've met two in one night.

After he laid his hat on the radiator to dry, you made your way to the kitchen.

"I have tea or coffee. I probably have some whisky if you'd prefer."

He requested coffee so you put on a pot. While you did that, you tried to ignore the man in your flat. You could feel him moving around behind you, inspecting your living space. When you heard his footsteps disappear, you turned to see that he was leaning in the doorway of your bedroom.

You tried to remember if you had made your bed that morning. Your dressing gown was probably thrown over the chest at the foot of the bed. Thankfully you had gathered your dirty laundry to be cleaned so there wasn't anything scandalous lying out for him to see.

Except he was looking at your bed and your private space. Surely that was too intimate to be proper.

This was a gangster. What did he know about being proper?

When you told him the coffee was ready, he came to the kitchen. After he made it to his preference, he carried it back to the living room. He hovered for a moment before he sat down in your favorite chair. It had a view of the window which looked down into the alley, but during the day it had a lot of natural light. 

He fingered the cover of the book next to the chair but didn't pick it up. 

It was strange. He had made himself completely at home in your place, but you hovered uncertainly in the outskirts of your own living space. 

"Have you lived in Birmingham long?"

You cleared your throat as you forced yourself to join him. As you sat on the couch, you shook your head.

"Two years or so. Moved this way for a job and decided to settle in."

He nodded, taking a long gulp from the coffee. 

"No family here? Nearby?"

You swallowed a mouthful of coffee and were grateful for the burn on your tongue.

"Lost my parents in an accident a few years ago, so it was just me. I have an aunt and uncle who cared for me afterwards, but I've been independent for a while."

It was only becoming more common for women to be independent of their families, especially without a husband, so you were curious how Tommy would react to that news.

"So no husband or intended will be coming home and wonder why I'm drinking coffee in your living room at this hour?"

Ah, that's why he asked.

"None to speak of," you said with another dainty sip of the coffee, your throat feeling tight.

"Y/N, are you scared of me?"

Were you? You looked up from your cup and met those endless blue eyes. For a moment, you thought the answer might be yes. He wore guns under his suit, had a razor blade hidden in his hat, and even you could sense the violence under the surface with him. 

But you didn't think that you were in any danger with him. Somehow you knew that and were calmed by it.

"No, I'm not," you answered honestly as you put your cup on the table next to you. "I think perhaps I should be, but for some reason I'm not."

He nodded as if that was the answer he had hoped for. He took one last sip from his cup and put it next to yours. Then he stood up and held out his hands to you.

You let him pull you to your feet. Then he stepped in a little closer to you until you could smell the coffee and cigarettes on his breath, feel the heat of it brush against your skin.

"I'm not a danger to you. I want you to trust that."

You did. Heaven above, you did trust him. It didn't make any sense but that's what it was.

With a lump in your throat, you pulled away and moved over to the radiator to check if his jacket was dry. Before your hands could touch the fabric, you were gently spun around and pushed against the wall. 

"I'm going to kiss you," he informed you as he leaned in, his mouth hovering next to yours. "Will you let me?"

He was asking permission? You stared into those eyes and found yourself nodding, needing the feel of his lips against yours. 

And whatever you had imagined, it was nothing compared to reality. His lips crashed into yours as if he wanted to devour you before you could change your mind. He kissed with his whole body, bowing in towards you. His hands moved over your cheeks and neck, sliding into your hair. One hand went down your side until he could start to bunch up the fabric of your skirt. 

You hesitated at that, but all he did was use it to lift your leg around his hips. It brought him closer to you. Through the bunched up fabric of your skirt and his pants, you could feel him getting harder against you. That made you pull away from the kiss, your hand against his chest to gently push him away. 

"I–" you began, swallowing your nerves and meeting his eyes, "I'm not going that far with you tonight."

Tonight. Without your permission, your mouth offered the chance of this happening some other time.

Either way Tommy nodded, letting your leg fall. He stayed close enough to touch, but he didn't push you. To thank him for his willingness to pull away, you leaned in for a soft kiss.

"I'm sorry," you muttered thinking about Lottie and John going off to the storage room together. 

He was probably used to women with looser morals.

"Don't apologize," he mumbled against your lips. "I don't mind waiting."

If only you could believe him. 

When he finally pulled away, he reached down for his things. First he pulled on his jacket and then his hat, smoothing down the wrinkles. 

"Thanks for the coffee," he said as he leaned in to kiss your cheek, rubbing his cheek against yours. "I'll see you soon?"

He wanted to see you again? Without thinking, you nodded and saw him to the door.

He cast one last look at you before he went down the stairs, disappearing into the night. 

And the only proof you had that he had been there was a second cup on your table and the taste of him on your lips. 

------

"It was a long night," Lottie bragged as she stretched out at the table.

Lunch was your choice this time and you picked a little cafe you hadn't been to in a while. It was nice so the two of you sat outside at one of the tables. There was a group of women at a table nearby, but other than that, you were alone.

"You look exhausted Lottie," you said with a smile as you reached out and tugged on one of her limp curls. "Have you even been home yet?"

She giggled and stretched again. 

"He barely let me leave to come here. I think if his brother Arthur hadn't threatened to bust the door down, he might not have."

Another brother? But at least it wasn't Tommy. You weren’t ready to explain that to Lottie. 

"Speaking of brothers," she began and you rolled your eyes.

"Nothing happened Lot, I mean it. Please just drop it."

Lottie stirred her drink with her finger and narrowed her eyes at you. 

"If I believed that nothing had happened, I would happily drop it, but I can tell when you're lying to me."

Despite being so different from you, Lottie really was your closest friend. And times like these, you hated it. You missed having secrets.

"I'll leave it for now, how about that?" She nodded as if that was settled and stood up. "I'm getting a scone. Do you want one?"

She disappeared into the cafe before you had time to answer her. With a chuckle, you leaned back in your chair and thought about the night before.

That kiss had set your body on fire. You couldn't remember ever being kissed like that before. It felt like he wanted to climb inside of you right then and there. And if that kiss had continued, you might have let him. 

A tingle broke out over your skin just at the thought. It felt like you were being haunted by Tommy.

"I'm meeting Tommy," one of the women at the next table said, bringing to life the name you had just imagined. 

"Again? Still can't believe that man pays for sex," one of the others said with a laugh. 

It was just a coincidence. Thomas wasn't an uncommon name.

"None of those Shelby men should ever pay for sex," a third woman said with a leer, making her friends giggle with her.

The first woman stood up and primped her hair a bit, grinning as her friends told her she looked good.

"Maybe Tommy Shelby won't be paying for it much longer," she boasted before she slipped from her group and headed down the walk way. 

You were at a loss. Obviously she meant the same Tommy you had kissed the night before. And whatever agreement they'd had before was apparently still active.

Was that why he was so nonchalant about you turning him down the night before? Of course it was. Why would he worry about you not sleeping with him when he knew that someone else would.

You felt sick to your stomach. When Lottie brought out a scone for each of you, you could barely look at it.

You would have to tell her at some point, but she was still so besotted after her night with John. You didn't want to ruin that for her.

It wasn't like you expected to see Tommy anytime soon.

------

The office had been a mess today. Your mind was stuck on the things you'd heard at lunch days before, so you knew you were partially at fault for the problems. 

Thankfully you weren't the only secretary and the other ones were happy to cover for you. It was the first time since you started to work there that you'd had an off day so it could be excused.

As you trudged up the stairs to your flat, you thought about slipping over to Lottie's and curling up with her. You'd finally told her the truth and she had instantly gone to coddle you. 

Normally it would frustrate you, but you had gotten attached to Tommy rather quickly. It made sense that this hit you hard.

At the landing, you looked up and nearly dropped your purse. Leaning against the door with some flowers in hand was Tommy Shelby. 

"Wasn't sure when you would be home," he said with a bit of a smile at you. 

You pressed your fingers to your lips for a brief moment before you made your way to the door.

"I'm late for an engagement," you lied as you struggled with your keys, trying to get them into the lock without shaking.

"Here," he said softly as he took the keys from you to unlock the door. "I won't keep you then. Just wanted to see you."

You thanked him for unlocking your door and then you thanked him for the flowers. After a long moment he nodded. You almost blanched when he leaned in to kiss you. His lips on yours made you feel like you were flying and all to soon he was pulling away to leave.

Once he was out of sight, you shut the door and leaned against it. The flowers in your hand were beautiful and you wanted to cry just to look at them.

A knock on the door made you tense. Thinking it might be Tommy, you opened the door slowly. On the other side was Lottie smiling sadly at you with a bottle of what looked like whisky in her hand. 

"Want to talk? Or cry? Or drink?"

You gave her a watery smile and opened the door wider for her to come in.

"I'll take all three tonight," you said before you shut the door behind her.

------

It wasn’t the only time that Tommy came to your flat. He brought you flowers or candies and never did more than frown when you made excuses for why you couldn’t invite him in or go with him for a meal. You told yourself that he would get tired of the chase, would find someone that would be better suited for him and his lifestyle, but it didn’t make you feel better.

The emotion that built in your chest at the thought of him with that tall, beautiful woman the day after he kissed you like that wasn't nameless, but you hated to think that you were jealous. You didn’t want to be jealous because that would mean that you were more invested than you told yourself you were.

Lottie was a life saver because she kept you distracted on the nights when he didn’t stop by but she was also always available on the times you did see him.

After work one evening, you stepped out of the office and found yourself face to face with Tommy. One of the other ladies had seen him and had started to flirt, but he hadn’t looked up from his cigarette until she greeted you. Then he didn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Can I walk you home?”

Mary realized he wasn’t talking to her and she quickly excused herself, shooting looks over her shoulder as she did so. You knew that this would be around your work place the next morning.

“I can walk myself,” you said lowly, not wanting to offend him.

Tommy looked at you and shook his head, giving a short laugh as he stubbed his cigarette out on the side of the building.

“I had told myself it was in my head. You seemed interested in me enough that first night, but since then I can’t get you to look at me.” He gestured between the two of you with his hand before he started to pull out another cigarette. “You should’ve just told me to fuck off.”

You didn’t want to tell him to fuck off, but you didn’t need to lead him on like this. Without telling him why you were so cold to him, he wouldn’t know to leave you alone. And if you were to get over him, you needed to start now.

Asking now felt wrong, but you needed to know. 

"Did you sleep with that woman? The day after we met, I overheard a woman talking about sleeping with you and… you paying for it."

He looked tense, but not guilty. Though what would make a man like Tommy Shelby feel guilt, you weren’t entirely sure. He held the cigarette out to you and after a moment, you took it from him.  

"I've paid for it before, for simple release. Me asking to see Lizzie that day was just because I was offering her a job. A legitimate job with my company. I didn't fuck her."

His words felt like the truth. And something told you that he didn’t have it in him to lie, not to you. Not about this. You weren’t sure if that was naive or just misguided, but you knew it had to be true.

Now you knew that your hesitance to get closer to Tommy was all for nothing. Not only were you steadily becoming infatuated with the man, but he hadn’t slept with another woman the night after the two of you had been together.

You took a long drag from the cigarette before you handed it back to him.

“Would you walk me home?”

He put the cigarette to his lips and then held his arm out to you, giving you a short bow that made you want to laugh at him. 

And you realized that you were allowed to do that. You were allowed to tease him, to joke with him. He had made his intentions clear with his courting attempts. The least you could do is repay him in kind.

------

It was impossible that you had fallen in love with Tommy Shelby after only a short time, but you couldn't shake that there was something there. You had locked away your heart and vulnerability and he had found the key after only a few times in your presence. 

As much as you felt that the two of you were getting closer, you still felt a distance that came in the shape of the Peaky Blinders. Each time he had to leave in a hurry or he came to you with something dark in his eyes, you were reminded of a simple fact.

Tommy Shelby didn't belong to you. 

You tugged your coat tighter around you as you made your way down the alley. It was the quickest route home from where you had just had dinner with some people from work. If you had known that your fellow secretaries were going to spring a date on you, you never would have gone.

Richard was a sweet man and had been a gentleman the whole meal, but you didn't feel that spark. And maybe that wasn't fair to him. It wasn't like you'd been able to sleep without seeing ice blue eyes for the last week.

"Y/N Y/L/N?"

You froze for a second at your name being called from a dark, grimy alleyway. It was a second too long as a hand wrapped around your throat with a blade pressed against your cheek. 

"So you're the skirt that's caught Tommy Shelby's eye. Well, we have a message we want you to deliver to him for us."

You weren't sure who 'we' were until you noticed there were three other men in the alley way. Something was shoved into your mouth and you were dragged backwards and through a side door to an abandoned building. 

A place where your screams wouldn't matter. Somewhere your pleas and promises that you meant nothing to Tommy Shelby fell on deaf ears.

They had a message to deliver and you were the messenger. 

------

The door wasn't familiar to you, but you knew you were in the right place. You climbed the stairs with difficulty, swallowing against the pain as you reached up to use the knocker.

The sound echoed in your head and you wanted to cry. 

Seconds felt like hours, but soon the door opened to reveal an older woman with a face that was neither kind nor cruel. The moment she saw you and the pain you were in, kindness took over her features as she ushered you into the house.

"Jesus Christ, what happened to you? Come in by the fire here. What's your name child?"

You opened your mouth and winced as it tugged on the split lip you had. The woman handed you a glass of water and a bowl for you to clean your mouth with. 

"Thank you. I'm Y/N Y/L/N, and I–"

"Jesus Christ," she swore again, this time with more emphasis, "of course you are. Come on, follow me."

She led you up a flight of stairs to a door that she didn't even hesitate at. Inside was a small bedroom which she immediately instructed you to make yourself at home in. 

"This is Tommy's room. I'll be back in a moment."

You didn't even have a moment to ask her how she knew that you knew Tommy. She went back out of the room and rushed down the stairs, calling for someone named Finn as she did.

You looked around the bedroom and found yourself slowly becoming soothed. There wasn't much in there that was personal, but it still felt very much like Tommy. And there was a smell in the air that seemed to call out for you.

"Here Y/N," the woman called as she came into the room once more with a tin bucket of first aid supplies. 

She started to work first on your face but shook her head. 

"You need to get out of that dress," she explained as she started to help you out of your jacket.

"I'd rather leave it on," you pleaded but the woman shook her head.

"If Tommy sees that much blood on you, even I will have a hard time getting through to him. Come now, let me work."

You gave a timid nod and let her help you remove your stained dress.

"I didn't catch your name," you said quietly as you tried to steady your breathing.

She urged you to sit on the edge of the bed, her fingers pulling your shift away from your skin and swearing when she saw the damage there.

"Polly. Polly Gray, I'm Tommy's aunt. Your back…"

You nodded, closing your eyes as you tried not to relive the pain. She rested a hand on your shoulder for a brief moment. Just as she started to clean your face again, you heard the sound of thundering steps up the stairs. You had a moment to lift the towel and cover yourself in your shift before the door was thrown open.

Tommy looked like an avenging angel with the light behind him. He stormed into the room, his mouth set in a frown as he looked you over. 

"Leave us," he said to Polly. 

The woman was obviously his elder but she left after squeezing your shoulder. When the door shut, Tommy came over to where you were sitting.

"Are you…"

You weren't sure what the rest of that question was going to be, but you didn't think it mattered. It was obvious what you were.

"They wanted me to deliver a message to you," you explained with a wince as Tommy worked on cleaning the cuts on your cheek.

"What message?"

Tears started to slip from your eyes as you looked up at Tommy, your chest hurting with the effort not to cry. 

"They said you should know they can get to anyone, that no one is safe."

Anger was broiling through Tommy but he was so gentle as he cleaned your cuts. Carefully he sat down beside you and moved the shift away to see what other damage there was.

He swore just as fully as Polly had.

"Boot prints," he said as he ran his fingers gently down your spine. "Doesn't look like anything is broken."

He went to work on your arms and legs, checking that you were only bruised. As he saw more bruises and scrapes leading under the hem of your shift, his frown became black as coal.

"Did they…"

You shook your head, your shaking hand moving to cover his hand on your knee.

"They took pleasure in threatening to, but they didn't do that."

They had said so many cruel things, but none of it seemed to come to your tongue. You didn't want to repeat those words.

He reached up and touched the cut on your temple that he had already cleaned.

"This shouldn't have happened to you."

You were at least in agreement about that.

"They thought that you and I… that we're involved," you said in such a small voice that you winced at the sound.

"They must have seen us together." He brushed his fingers against your cheek and shook his head. "They'll never lay a finger on you again. I promise you that."

It was like the night in your flat when he said that he wasn't a danger to you. Without a doubt, you believed him. 

After you were cleaned up and in one of his shirts, your undergarments still on, he made sure you were tucked comfortably in his bed. He kissed your temple before he left the room.

In your haze of pain, as sleep pulled you into its grasp, you couldn't help but think that the devil followed with him.

------

A hand was on your hip. You remembered being held down as you were stepped on and kicked. As you tried to curl up to protect yourself, the body behind you moved with you.

It wasn't hurting you. It was spooned around you as if to protect you. 

As you came out of your half asleep state, you realized you were still in Tommy's room. Still in his bed. And the body pressed up against you, behind you, must belong to Tommy. 

"Sleep," he murmured into the back of your neck, "I won't let anything happen to you."

You closed your eyes, but sleep wouldn't come. Behind your lids, all you could see were the men that had done this to you. He must have noticed because he soothed his hand up and down your arm.

“They thought we were involved because they’ve seen us together. Or because it’s become quite clear how taken I am with you. I know I’m not a good man, not the kind of man you should be with; tonight has made me see it clearer than I did before. I don’t want to be the reason you’re hurt.”

The words were softly spoken, his breath brushing against the back of your neck. Slowly you turned to face him, wincing every now and then. He didn’t move away from you, merely helped you roll over with the least amount of pain possible.

On this side, you could face him and look into his eyes. There was a bruise on his jaw that hadn’t been there earlier, as well as one near his temple. You raised your hand and brushed his hair back so that you could see the bruise a little clearer.

He had handled it. Whoever had hurt you, he had found them and taken care of the situation. You wondered idly if there were bodies to be disposed of or if perhaps he had left them alive. The reputation of the Peaky Blinders was there for a reason; perhaps he had blinded one more more of them as a way to make a statement.

Anyone who messed with him, or you, would meet the same fate.

You should be scared and part of you was, but not of him. And not of the danger that Tommy represented.

“It doesn’t make sense, does it? This thing between us. We barely know each other,” you said as your fingers drifted down his cheek and down his jaw, resting against his neck where you could feel his steady pulse.

“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he promised as he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a soft touch, careful of your split lip. “What we feel for each other, it will just grow as we learn more about each other.”

Yes, you knew it would. And you couldn’t wait. 

------

Lottie leaned against the doorway as you moved around stiffly. You sighed when the silence got to be too much and whirled around to face her.

“How did you go from crying into your whisky that he was sleeping with whores to coming home in his arms and kissing him for twenty minutes on the doorstep and having an armed guard watch over you?”

You laughed, holding your ribs as you did. She knew about what happened to you, had been fetched by someone the next morning, but she still didn’t understand how you and Tommy had seemed to slot together like missing pieces of the same puzzle. She had noticed it over the few weeks since you had accepted him in your life and the attack, but you could tell she was still apprehensive for you.

“Do you remember when I first moved here? You and I had seen each other in the hall I think once before and you invited me to come over for tea?”

Lottie sighed but sat down on the couch next to you.

“Yes, of course I remember. It’s when we became friends.”

You smiled and reached out for her hand.

“It’s like that, only… well, different,” you added with a giggle, earning one from Lottie as well. “I don’t know how to explain it Lot, I just know that I couldn’t shake him and now I don’t want to. It’s like he got under my skin.”

Lottie sighed and crossed her ankles, turning to face you a little more. You knew that her and John had gone their separate ways, although it was completely amiable. She was on the prowl for her next slice of fun, but maybe she was ready for something a little more serious.

“But he’s dangerous,” she whispered, as if you had somehow missed it. 

“I know,” you said as you touched your mouth where the cut still burned when you smiled too much. Which was hard not to do with how happy you were. “I know he’s dangerous, but I don’t mind. We sat up and talked for hours that night and one of the things we talked about was that he wants to take the company legitimate. And I think he can do it. He’s smart and focused and driven–”

“Alright, alright, stop before you start to drool,” she joked as she knocked her shoulder into yours gently. “Just promise me that you’ll be careful, alright? It’d kill me if something happened to you.”

You wrapped your arms around her shoulders and gently tugged her into your embrace.

“Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise.”

And just like Tommy’s promise to you, you meant it.

------

The other secretaries were walking on eggshells around you. You tried not to notice it, but it was fairly obvious. You weren’t sure if it was because you had a Peaky Blinder escort or if it was because your face looked like you had tripped head first into a wall, but they were treating you differently.

After a long day of work, you pulled on your coat to get ready to go home. Lottie had a date tonight and she promised to stop by your place in the morning to tell you all about it, so you wanted to stop by the shops on the way home and get some more tea. Plus you needed a few other things as well.

When you stepped out of the office, you noticed someone coming towards you. You opened your mouth, ready to scream if necessary, when you noticed who it was.

“Richard?” 

“Y/N,” he breathed in relief as he came up to you, his eyes darting around the street as if looking for something, “I heard what happened and needed to see you for myself.”

You let him take your hand, expecting it to be a quick squeeze, but he held on. You cast a glance around the street, thinking that your escort should have made themselves visible by now, but there was nothing. Maybe something had happened and your escort had to go back? But wouldn’t they have told you?

You couldn’t remember who it was this morning. Tommy had said something about this afternoon, but you had been half asleep when he had muttered it into your ear before he had to leave.

“I’m quite well, thank you though,” you said as you subtly tried to pull your hand back. “I hate to run, but I do have some errands I need to get to before I can go home.”

He didn’t seem to take that as a hint, but he didn’t have much choice as a hulking figure came out of the shadows from behind you.

“I can take it from here,” Tommy said as he slid his arm around your waist, tugging you to him in a completely proprietary way. 

You fought the urge to elbow him for that. Instead you successfully pulled your hand from Richard’s grasp and covered Tommy’s hand with yours. Richard looked between the two of you, his eyes narrowing as he looked at you.

“Did he do that to you? Be honest with me Y/N, I won’t let him scare me off,” he explained in a rush as Tommy advanced on him.

“If you think I could do that to her, then what makes you think I won’t do worse to you?”

“Tommy! Stop it,” you said as you tugged on his arm, pushing between the two men and turning to face Richard. “You should leave. I promise you, I’m quite safe with Tommy. Now go.”

He didn’t want to go, but he scattered when Tommy’s hand brushed the edge of his hat. You had caught the gesture and you slapped his hand down.

“That wasn’t necessary,” you scolded as you pulled away from Tommy and started down the road towards your apartment. “He was worried about me and that isn’t something that should be threatened.”

Hands grabbed your waist and you were spun around, your back pushed into the wall. Your heart raced, memories of your attack fresh on your mind, but it was quieted as Tommy leaned in to claim your lips in a kiss that filled you with heat.

“He doesn’t need to worry about something that isn’t his. I don’t like him touching you.”

You wanted to scold him for his barbaric behavior, but you were ridiculously endeared. Instead you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and tugged him in for a deeper kiss.

You wouldn’t mind his territorial nature if it got you this each time.

------

Your jacket hit the floor of your living room as the door to your flat was shut—slammed, actually—and locked before you were pushed into it. Tommy’s lips marked a heated path down your neck to your collarbone and then back to your lips.

“I want you,” he whispered hotly against your lips, his eyes pinned to yours as he judged how ready you were for this step. 

Without a doubt, you knew he’d back down if you said no. As much as he wanted you, he wasn’t going to force himself on you. If you said no, he’d back away and the two of you would simply curl up in bed together as you had for the past few nights.

But you were done waiting. You hadn’t wanted to sleep with someone unless there was romantic feelings there, and you definitely had that for Tommy. Most days you were pretty sure you were half in love with him.

“I’m yours,” you promised as your hand went to the front of his shirt, starting on the buttons. 

He took that as his sign. The two of you started to shed clothes there in the middle of your living room, neither of you willing to stop touching or kissing long enough to do it gracefully. The last of your clothes were shed in your bedroom, your legs hitting the edge of the bed. As you tipped backwards onto it, Tommy shed the last of his clothes and stood before you proud.

And he had a lot of reasons to be proud. 

He came down onto the bed, kneeling over you. Your heart was thundering in your chest as you grabbed his arm and dragged him down for a kiss. His body molded to yours as if it was a perfect fit, his hips fitting comfortably in the junction of your thighs. 

Every brush of his fingers or his lips were making you come undone. He kissed every lingering mark from your attack as well as every inch of your skin he could reach. As he kissed down your stomach, your breath caught in your chest. A lewd grin was on his lips as he spread your thighs a little more before he dove between them. 

He went to work on you, licking between your folds before he reached a hand to hold you open for him. His tongue pushed inside of you before he licked up, circling your clit. He sucked it into his mouth and flicked his tongue over it, earning a breathless gasp from you as your body bowed from the bed. You curled around his head, your fingers finding his hair as you panted with the feelings he was drawing out of you.

Then his fingers were added into the mix as his mouth focused on your clit. You felt the first one being pushed in slowly, getting you used to him, and then there was a second finger. Your hips worked in tandem with his hand, thrusting against him almost desperately. His third finger pushed inside to work you open and ready for him.

On the edge of your climax, he pulled back to watch your face as you came. You let out a loud moan as you flopped down onto the bed, your body quivering under him. And if you thought that was intense, you had nothing to prepare you for what came next.

He moved his body up the length of yours, kissing you soundly as he guided his cock inside you. The first thrust was slow and gentle, but each one after took up speed. You clutched onto his shoulders and you moved with him, feeling his lips trail over the length of your neck. Every inch of you was desperate for more, never wanted to part from him.

At some point he rolled the two of you over so that you could sit on his thighs. You kissed him as you continued to ride him, thighs shaking as you grew nearer and nearer to your next orgasm. He took your breath away as he thrust up into you, his hands all over your body and taking you to new heights.

He came a few thrusts after you, dropping you onto your back so that he could give a few more thrusts before he was spent. Once he was done, he fell down next to you so that you wouldn’t be pinned under his chest.

Throughout it all—and afterwards as the two of you stayed curled together—his only words were how beautiful you were, how amazing you felt, and how he could stay like this for the rest of his life.

Those words rumbled in your mind as you stared at a scar on his chest, your mind slipping away as you fell asleep.

------

Lottie was absolutely beside herself. Your news that you and Tommy had finally consummated the relationship had been met with gleeful happiness for you. 

His reputation for violence aside, she knew that you were crazy for the man. And while she could have wished for a better lover for her best friend, she didn't begrudge your affection. Especially since you never would have met the man if it hadn't been for her wanting to sleep with John.

"Do you think the two of you will be married?"

You started to choke on the tea you had just sipped. She grinned as if that had been her intention, but then she was serious once more.

"I mean it Y/N, do you think he might propose?"

You put the cup down and tried not to shake as you put your hands in your lap. 

"We've only been together for a few weeks," you reminded her pointedly.

"Sure, but I've never seen you like this. You light up when he's in the room. And John said he's never seen his brother like that before in his life."

That give you pause. You hadn't known that the two of them had kept in touch after the split.

"When did John say that?"

"Right after your attack."

You thought about how Tommy looked when he left his room that night to hunt down your assailants. He would have had help and it made sense that he'd go to his brothers for that. They would have seen him in all his dark fury. 

You didn't have anything to say to that, but Lottie wasn't looking for you to say anything. You knew that she was just letting you know the lay of the land. For all your closeness, Tommy did play things close to the chest. 

And you weren't exactly easy to read.

Perhaps it was a conversation that needed to be had. Not about marriage, that was still a bit too soon for you, but about the seriousness of your relationship. 

------

The Garrison was mostly devoid of patrons in the middle of the day. You hadn't been sure it was even open when you pushed the doors open, but the barkeep told you to come in. 

Tommy had asked you to meet him there. You hadn't been since the night the two of you met. As best you could tell, the Shelby brothers owned the establishment. Perhaps it was part of Tommy's plan to go legitimate. 

The doors swung open and you turned expectantly. Instead of seeing Tommy or any familiar face, you saw five men that looked angry and ready for vengeance. They were also armed.

"Where is Tommy Shelby?" The man in front asked the few of you in the room, his eyes wide and crazed as he scanned the room. "I want Tommy Shelby!"

You could feel bile rising in your stomach. The bartender stepped forward, drawing their eyes to him. 

"He isn't here."

The man who had addresses the room raised his gun at the bartender.

"We'll just see about that, won't we?"

He barked an order out to his men and they spread out through the building. You could hear the crash of crates and bottles from the back storage room, mirrors and windows being shattered. 

When it became apparent that Tommy wasn't hiding somewhere, all of the men gathered in the main bar once more. The four other patrons, yourself, and the bartender were forced to stand together with your hands in the air.

"Someone knows where to find Tommy Shelby. Barkeep, you're going to go and find him and bring him to me."

The bartender's eyes darted to you before he looked back at the man.

"Let the lady go and find him," he said, his plea for civility audible in his tone. "She doesn't need to be involved in this. She can tell him to come."

The backend of the pistol was whipped across the bartender's face, causing him to stagger backwards. You jerked in surprise and fear, covering your mouth with one hand.

"It'll be you, barkeep. The lady will stay and entertain us while you're gone." One of the man grabbed the bartender and dragged him to the door. "And don't take too long or we will start shooting your customers."

Once the bartender was gone, the men all seemed to turn their attention on you. The other customers cowered away, none of them wanting to meet the business end of one of the guns the men were holding. 

"Now what is a nice lady like you doing in a slum like this?"

You had started to ask yourself the same question. There wasn't a chance of you telling them that you were waiting for Tommy. Instead you lied.

"I'm new to the area. I was just checking out the local establishments to find a place to frequent."

You felt like there was an appropriate amount of quivering in your voice as you told the lie. As it was, you were shaking like a leaf and it wasn't just for show. 

These men wanted to hurt Tommy. Your own experiences with men who had a grudge against Tommy made you aware of the fact that this was a very serious situation. And the danger wasn't just limited to Tommy. 

What were the odds of these men letting any of the rest of you free?

"You picked the wrong place then," one of the men said with a laugh. 

The man in front, who seemed to be in charge, took a step towards you. The barrel of his pistol was stroked down your cheek in a twisted version of a caress. Then he went lower until he could tap it against your neck. 

"Be a waste of a pretty thing like you getting mixed up with Blinder business," he said in a faraway tone, his eyes not leaving the path the gun was making against your skin. "I wonder if we shouldn't steal you away, show you how a woman should be treated."

The lewd laughter and gestures from some of the men made you realize that the danger for you was not just the danger of death. These men had something else in mind for you.

Fear barely began to explain how you felt at that knowledge. You opened your mouth, prepared to beg, but the doors flew open before you could make your voice work.

"You were looking for me?"

Tommy came in like the avenging angel you remembered from your attack. His eyes were twin blue pools of rage, his mouth pulled back into an animalistic snarl that got worse as he saw you. And the moment he did, the man with the gun to your throat realized you had lied to him.

You were yanked forward, the gun digging into your chin so that you were forced to tilt your head to relieve the pain. It meant you were unable to see Tommy anymore.

"Let her go," he demanded, his voice clear despite the fury in his words.

"I think we got ourselves a nice bargaining chip here," the man said as he tugged you forward with him. "You're here, alone and unarmed, and I have what I can only assume is your woman."

You fought the urge to claw at the man's wrist or eyes. Whatever Tommy's plan was, you needed to trust him. You could almost hear him telling you to trust him.

"She's not a bargaining chip," Tommy replied in a cool tone, his voice level, "and I'm not alone. Now!"

There was a cacophony of sound at that point. Doors were kicked in, shots were fired. The man holding you spun around, but it made him lose his grip on you. You were yanked from his arms in an instant, a shot fired as you tumbled to the ground. 

John and Arthur as well as a few Peaky Blinders that you didn't recognize came through the back of the bar, shooting the other men where they stood. And Tommy? You turned to find him, because you knew he was the one that had pulled you free. A short distance away you saw him pummeling the man who had held you captive. 

You watched as blow after blow was delivered to the man on the floor. And when you thought that Tommy was done, you watched him remove his hat. 

As he pressed it into the face of the man, you looked away. The screams seemed to echo in the now quiet bar. 

Hands fell to your shoulder and you looked up to see Arthur. He nodded to you and helped you off the floor, moving you through the bar and out into the street.

"You don't need to see any of that," he explained as he wiped his bloody hand on a handkerchief before he balled it up and shoved it into his pocket. "Tommy wouldn't want you to see that."

Tommy. It was like he had forgotten you were there, so intent on maiming the man.

"Who were they?"

"That's not for you to worry about," Arthur said as he looked over his shoulder. "We've got to clean this up. I'm going to get Henry to walk you home."

He left you alone in the street, but only for a moment. Then the bartender was coming out and heading straight for you. 

"Let's go Y/N," he offered in a low voice, his hands out but not touching you. 

Without hesitation, you gave the man a hug. 

"You tried to get them to release me. Thank you."

He gave you an awkward pat on the back before he started to lead you away from the door.

"Come on, let's get you home."

Home. You thought about the flat you'd just left with your things scattered around, the bedspread your aunt had sewn for you, the portrait of your grandmother. 

With a deep breath, you turned to look at Henry.

"Can you take me to Tommy's place instead?"

------

Polly wasn't at the house but Tommy's sister Ada was. She had seemed surprised to see you, but after a mumbled explanation from Henry, she let you in. You remembered the way to Tommy's room so you went there without stopping.

The darkness in the room comforted you as much as the familiar scent. You toed off your shoes and laid your jacket over the chair in the corner before you curled up on the bed.

Not long after you got comfortable, the door was pushed open slightly. On the other side was a curious young man. He hesitated before he stepped in more fully.

For all his height and the clothes he wore, you could tell he was young. It must have been Finn, Tommy's youngest brother. 

"Are you going to be my sister?"

You sat up and peered at Finn in surprise. 

"I beg your pardon?"

He shrugged his shoulder as he explained, "Arthur says you'll be our new sister. Said that Tommy would be an idiot not to make you a Shelby."

You thought about how Arthur had carefully led you from the Garrison and made sure Henry would take you home. For a man with such rough edges, there was something undeniably kind about him.

"I don't know," you admitted. 

Finn nodded his acceptance of that, even if there seemed to be some surprise in his eyes. Perhaps he wasn't used to hearing someone admit they didn't know something.

"I think you should. You seem nicer than Ada."

"Heard that," the woman in question said as she came into the room. "Get out and let Y/N rest Finn. Make sure you finish your chores before Polly gets back."

The youngest Shelby scooted off out of the room at a speed you envied. Then you were left with Ada. She observed you critically before she gave you a nod.

"I can see what my brother likes about you."

You gave her a smile, feeling so far away from your element.

"You don't even know me."

She shrugged a shoulder, tossing her hair back as she turned back to the door.

"Call it women's intuition. My brother is transfixed by you. I think you could be good for him."

And with that she shut the door and left you alone. You curled back onto the bed, pressing your nose against the pillow and inhaling the familiar scent of Tommy. 

Could you be good for Tommy? After that scene in the bar, how could you be so sure?

At some point, as you danced between sleep and reality, you felt fingers gently brushing against your cheek. 

"Wake up," a soft voice pleaded. 

You found yourself staring up at Tommy. His eyes were soft as he looked you over. He looked a little worse for wear, a cut on his temple and a bruise at the corner of his mouth, but he was there. 

Your hand went to his cheek and you guided him down and into a kiss. He seemed surprised, but he melted into the touch. 

He moved into the bed with you, his body easily folding around yours.

"Your sister likes me," you said with a smile as you curled into his chest, feeling his warmth under your cheek, "and Finn thinks I should be his sister."

Tommy laughed, a sound the rumbled from deep in his chest. You placed your hand over the sound as if you could hold into there.

"After what you saw…"

There wasn't anything like fear on your face as you leaned up to look at Tommy. His eyes met yours easily. 

"I knew who you were the night I let you kiss me. I knew who you were when I let you walk me home. I knew who you were when I invited you into my bed and into my body. I knew who you were when I asked Henry to bring me here instead of to my flat."

You brushed your lips against his jaw, close to where the bruise was. He looked stunned, mouth pressed into a thin line as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

"I know who you are, Tommy Shelby, and I accept you for that. I'm here with you because I want to be. And because the thought of being apart from you makes my heart hurt."

It wasn't a declaration of love, but it was as close as you were willing to get right then. Another time, when he didn't have blood on his cuffs and you didn't have adrenaline racing through your veins, you'd tell him the simple fact that you loved him. And he'd say the words back because you could see it, even now as he stared at you in wonder.

For now you simply pressed your lips back to his and then rested your head on his shoulder.

"I told you the night we made love, Tommy. I'm yours."

He tugged his arm around your waist and held you close. One day soon, he'd ask you to come to a family meeting with the rest of the Shelby clan. There he'd tell his family, you included, about his plans for the future. He'd give it to them all as he held your hand in his, a beautiful ring on your finger. He could see it all so clearly now, a true beginning for the Shelby family. 

It would begin with you at his side.

X

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Let me know if you want to be added to my Tommy Shelby Tag List @superanimenatural @iblogabout-stuff @starkgaryan @allknowingnerd @peachy-aisha

[lighthausen]

It’s the final tma liveblog everyone… for mag200 last words… IT’S FINALLY HERE (and loaded lol. I’m really impressed they got their servers okay that quick!)… and 25 minutes… oh my god… how are they gonna do this

Let’s go. Below the cut.

Thank you Alex <3

Oh yay cast and crew!

I hope i enjoy it too

Love you

Oh intro song

Here we go here we go

How can they do this in 25 minutes???

Oh the way he says Last Words… hh

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

*tape recorder click*

Oh hey it’s jonah

OH 

CEASELESS WATCHER

Uhhh?

Release him!?

OHHH

OH??

Is he dead? 

WHAT

!

What’s going on?

It is over

Where is Martin?

Wh

WhEREs martin???

Not even fear…

But. where’s Martin??

Ohhhh his voice

Oh my god

Burn it out

Lifeless?!

Wait? whAT?

OHHH HE DERAILED THE PLAN

HE DERAILED THE PLAN

Not for much longer

Can they fear their own ends

Oh he’s trying

HYESL

KILL HIM

GET HIM

FOR SASHA FOR TIM FOR GERTRUDE

No one escapes the end!!!

Yeahh!

What’s he killing him with??

Eugh

??

Wha?

Who’s that?

What? W hat’s happening?????

OHHHH NO

OHHH HE’S BECOMING THE PUPIL

NOooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH GOD

NO!! NO NONO!!

Oh?

Is… he ok? 

Oh

“Thank you” aw

What’s…..

Once upon a time?

Oh!

Fear of the End!

Ooooo love the soundscaping!!!

Feel more?

Be more ooooh

Ah here comes the Dark!!!

The thing that was fear!

Inch by inch…

Ohh fun!

Love this origin story!

Fire!

And sky!

(Oh no what if Martin has to kill him now)

Oh communication

Crack??

Oh! Oh! It can’t see itself? Oh never whole

That’s… kinda sad????????????

New dreads

 corruption, buried, vast 

Yaaah

Oh the Web! 

Slaughter!!

More and more! 

Some didn’t recoil?

Oh. Court them…

Very fun!

Whispering… 

Smooth and shifting. Interesting

Oh! The veil between torn!!!!!

Oh so the fears exist but they’re not… there yet until now!

Watched and watched

Ohh

Greed. Oooh. 

Oh no! Not Capitalism!!

Til they were one or the same?? Hm..

They needed it…

Sing. Ooh. 

Oooh soundscaping so good

The spider!!!! :)

Threads! Webs! OOoh.. Nerves… give her a brain

Oh is that a spinning wheel? Fun!!

The web doesn’t like to explain. Interesting

Escape… escape into other realities itself

The Eye, the most unwise.. It doesn’t understand the knowledge

A grander web! Neat!

Find its escape?

Apotheosis??

Climax

*pause* i’m thinking about the whole trolley problem “Jon gets in the trolley and floors it” that’s still so funny. Love that. 

Hey while we’re here… like. What happened outside earth post apocalypse. If anyone was in space are they also sucked into the fearscape or?

Anyway it looks like he’s done with that statement. *unpause*

No it won’t?

It has only found its end

MARTIN

He’s already done it

What’s that

ELIAS

SFDKJLSDFKJDS

Ohhh nooooooooooo

Oh no..

Go tell the others

Oh no…

Oh no…

They’re down there

It’s still him..

It’s done.

Oh. But Martin can hurt him.

We can still be together…

Call off?

If they don’t?

What’s happening????

WH?

What’s happening????????

The pull??

What? What’s 

You can’t see that :(

Can’t protect him?

He’ll die??? 

What?

W??????????

What’s 

Oh god he’s crying

Where you go I go,

Oh no…

Oh god

What? 

Maybe everything works out??

Together…

Oh..

Oh no.

I LOVE YOU

OH god

KISS

NO

OH GOD

Oh shit

It’s done. 

Silent. 

W?

Glass?

Huh. 

Birds in the background

No bodies???

*looks out window*

Probably for the best

OH SIMON

OH my god!?

OH shit people remember!!! OH god people remember!

Did people suddenly die from what’s happening?

WHat happened to the world

Nightlights…

THE ADMIRAL

OH MY GOD THE ADMIRAL IS OK

Tinned tuna

So… the world just snapped back. But the things that happened.

Hey, Fakecrfan, like your fics! Nice job predicting

Turn it off :(

No… 

Don’t go

I’m listening!

Hi!

BYE!!

I’m sorry too

Thank you

Wait good luck.

Good luck about what????

The MAGNUS ARCHIVES WAS A PODCAST

*is.

Oh boy

H

Gotta say, I like the openness of the ending

Oh this is easy to write around

OH look Jon and Martin are in their own little world

Oh look Jon and Martin were found and they’re alive

Very cool. 

Well… That sure was fun!!

Good podcast! Good podcast! Satisfying ending! Loved how Jonah got fucking killed 

I hope the script says “brutal knife murder”

Ohhh the way he begged . how he tried to be all manipulative at first . good shit. 

And the Jon and Martin confrontation

How calm Jon sounded at points…

Wanna know what would happen in an au where he doesn’t tell the others to go.

Wow

Podcast.

Yeah. I can’t see any other way this could have ended. Not really. 

Soundscaping was great. Sounds like the fears… 

I guess I should stop.

I had fun guys. Love you <3

[mountainleafuniversity]

Linneaus: Undertow Pt 1

Artwork by: @warrior-kitty

Special thanks to: @gemellath

This story is rated PG-13 for content. You have been warned.

It was a beautiful day for the citizens of Charluftton as the Wild Waves Festival was in full swing. The plaza was full of vendors selling t-shirts and frozen ice, the bar was full of all kinds of live music, including bands like Boil, The Lost Tapes and Art House, and even the beach was full of fun events such as volley ball, sailing, and even a beach 5k obstacle course. Boaters were out fishing and tubing and just all around having a good time. However, for the shapeshifting vixen, she was lying home in bed wearing her work cap, a buttoned jacket and khaki work pants. On her nametag was the name “Kit Rouge”. She was a shy fox who was diagnosed with a disorder that caused her to have trouble controlling her shapeshifting powers, and today, due to the events that occurred at work, was no exception.

“All I did was get grossed out…” she muttered. “Yet of course I turned into a fox bug like I always do when I’m disgusted. And of course, everyone thinks I’m too old for this to happen. I can’t control it…”

Kit had a busy day at work with lots of fishermen and families out buying things from pool toys to bait and couldn’t even stop the lines from the shoppers just itching to get their stuff and hit the water. She swore if she saw another sailor she would transform into her angry form and chuck them off their boat.

Her cellphone rang, and Kit answered.

“Hey Vixie!” Coin started, wearing sunglasses. “Work was rough today wasn’t it?!”

“Oh! Hello Coin! It was rough! Like the time that giraffe all jacked up on cocaine went up to you and-“

“Didn’t you remember our plans for today?!” he interrupted.

“What plans?” the khaki-clad kitsune asked.

“To go tubing with us!” Rio said.

“But I thought we were going to go to the beach!” Kit cried. “I want to lie down, get a sun tan and eat all the cannolis I can think off!”

“The beach is tomorrow and the next day!” Coin replied.

“Just get changed, pack some sandwiches and don’t forget the tube! See you in a half an hour.”

With that they hung up.

Kit thought about it for a second and decided to just go embark with her friends on the boat.

The young vixen put on a yellow one-piece swimsuit and covered it with a Zelda t-shirt and her khaki shorts from her work uniform. She then put on her special waterproof contacts, so she doesn’t turn her friends into her clones again. Finally, she made her friends sandwiches to eat on the boat while they hung out. Kit opened the garage to find Coin’s boat tube and sighed, knowing that none of their days out ever go well.

When she arrived, she saw her jackelope friend in his salmon trunks, purple t-shirt and sunglasses, with Rio harvest mouse perched on top of his antlers. She was in a little sailor’s outfit with a cap.

“First mate Rio! Ready to embark!” she said with glee.

“Hey Kitty!” Coin blurted. “Just put the tube in the back, were going to go fishing for a little while.”

“I thought you had a fear of fish.” Kit replied.

“My dad wants us to get fish for the Braun’s fish recipe!”

“You hate the taste of fish as well!”

“I’m getting paid if I do this.”

“Fair.”

And with that, they entered the boat.

Kit untied the ropes from the hooks, while Rio and Coin brought the buoys into the boat.

“Hey um Kit…” Rio said. “I think you might want to put your sunhat in the cabinet, so you don’t lose it.

“Oh, I’m fine.” Kit said without concern. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

As Coin and First Mate Rio pushed it to thirty miles an hour, Kit began to scream as her body grew more multicolored fur, whiskers grew, and her body became feline. The scared cat held onto her hat as hard as she could while the boat tore through the river.

“I retract my previous statement!” screamed Kit. “This is way too fast! My hat’s gonna fly away if you’re not careful!”

“Too fast?” replied Coin, seemingly unaffected by the rip-roaring speeds they were currently travelling at.

“No way! Calm down, will you? If you didn’t want your hat to get blown off, you should’ve at least stored it in the compartment.”

Begrudgingly, he and Rio slowed to boat down so that Kit could hand the hat over to Rio.

“Honestly,” she said, “We should’ve insisted on it in the first place.”

As they continued to sail, the trio began to develop an appreciation for the architecture of the waterside houses. Rio would wonder aloud who lives there, or there, or there? Enough time had passed for Kit to have calmed down; one tug of her tail later, and she was back in her fox form.

“Right then,” she said, retrieving her hat at last, “What are we up to first?”

“Sandbar, of course!” replied Rio as the boat sailed towards the spot where the ocean embraced the shore.

The little stretch of sand was surprisingly full of people sunbathing, dipping their toes in the water; anything to make the most of the fresh heat.

“Oh, nice! We can all have a game of keepie-uppie!”

Kit casted her line out towards the water and waited. Soon enough she had something on her line, reeling it in as hard as she could to discover she had caught a gar.

“Nice!” she said, pleased with herself.

“Hey, look guys I caught this cool long-billed thing!”

The crowd looked over, but only saw the fish worth jack squat and laughed.

Kit became slimier and turned grey, with white hair growing until she was now her sad form, the fox slug Granny.

“Dang nabbit!” she muttered to herself before casting the line once again…only to this time catch a sea bass…

“Did you bring the football?” Rio asked.

“Sure did!” Coin said, holding the old pigskin.

“I said the football!” Rio growled.

“This is a football!” Coin responded, perplexed.

Soon an argument erupted between the two of them, until they decided to just toss the ball around. The jackelope through a spiral throw towards Rio, who then responded by nailing her personal perch in the chest. Coin got up, picked the football off of the bar and tossed it again. After a while, he was getting nailed in the face, chest, and even in the groin by the sailor mouse’s throws. He called for a time out to see Granny still trying to catch fish.

“Hey bud.” She said. “Could you give my tail a pull?”

Coin turned her back into Kit.

“Thanks”

“So what’s going on here?” Coin asked.

“I”ve been catching nothing but sea bass and gar…”

Coin looked at her in disbelief.

“Kit there aren’t any sea bass in here…you mean sea trout.”

Kit blushed a little.

“It’s alright, you caught like five of them already!”

So, they waited and caught a decent amount of fish to put in the cooler.

After sunbathing for a bit, the Trio decided it was time to go tubing. They packed up their chairs, their belongings and the fish, which were placed in a water tank on the back of the boat.

“Alright guys!” Rio shouted with excitement. “Time for tubing!”

Coin took off his shirt and glasses, leaving him with only his trunks, while Kit dressed down to her swimsuit. Both of them then put on life jackets and hopped onto the tube.

“Um…” Kit said, somewhat nervous. “I’m not sure I want to do this…”

“Oh we’ll be fine. I’ve gone tubing dozens of times.”

“Get ready you guys!” First Mate Rio shouted as she pushed on the gas. She pulled it forward and the two cryptid creatures were yanked screaming. They narrowly missed other boats and shores, but soon the wild mouse got carried away. At a wedding reception between two mice on a dock, the two burst through and destroyed the dock the mice were on, leaving Coin with a face full of tiny wedding cake, and Kit with the groom in her mouth. Next, the two of them flew over another boat’s wake, which was sunk as soon as the tube landed on it. Finally, they neared an exclusive gated community residence, and ended up going through the yards of the tenants. Statues, trees, and rocks pelted them with pure bruises and scratches. At one point, they broke in through a beaver business man’s house and destroyed his kitchen, his teenage daughter’s bedroom, and his priceless wine cellar.

After breaking out of the last wall, a ramp was seen straight ahead for the duo, and with the ramp, Kit flew off of the tube and belly flopped into the water. Coin, luckily, stayed on, but ended up getting dragged through marsh grasses and oyster beds. He was all chopped up, so when Rio stopped, Coin fell into a million pieces. He healed himself, as always when he got this injured, and pulled into the boat.

“Hang on, where’s Kit?” the crazy driver asked.

From a groan they heard, the two saw her bobbing in the water. Coin spun it back around to collect Kit, who wasn’t very amused about the whole situation once she climbed back on board.

She was trying her best not to snap at Rio, as the jackelope got her a towel to wipe off the water.

Rio than then tried to fire up the engine but called Coin over. After a brief and worried discussion, the rabbit sheepishly confronted his fox friend.

“Umm…Kit….”

“What is it?” she snapped with her eyes already glowing.

“The boat…it’s out of gas…”

Suddenly Kit screamed as she transformed into DemKit, with his voice deepening into a roar. He picked up the cowering and flailing jackelope and chucked him off the boat. Then moved on towards Rio and held her up, shaking her around.

“WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW FIRST MATE RIO?!?!” he roared.

“Calm Down!” Rio said. “Coin can just call the boat tow.”

DemKit dropped Rio and blushed a little embarrassed.

“Sorry Coin!” he yelled out.

“Try to grab the tube.”

Coin swam towards the tube, failing to notice the fin behind him. He climbed onto it, but as he was being pulled in by the fox monster, a shark leapt from behind him and bit down on his swim trunks, ripping them and pulling them into the water. His two friends screamed with DemKit frantically pulling on the rope harder, but it was fruitless as he pulled it in to find the shark had cut it in half. Coin, meanwhile, had a censor bar over his special area and watched as whale watchers and fishermen boated by laughing. The shark returned and pulled the censor off of him, causing DemKit and Rio to blush and look away.

“How can this get any worse?” the mouse said to herself.

“There they are!” an angry woman said, with a crowd of people on a police boat. The officer looked to see a sailor mouse next to a steering wheel, some fox monster, and a naked jackelope behind them.

“Oh crap.” DemKit said to himself, embarrassed.

Later on, Kit, now back as her normal self, and Coin were eating the fish they’d caught in the estuary with their families at Coin’s house.

“I’m glad they found out I was just transformed.” She said. “And they found the shark with Coin’s compressions lodged in its throat at the hospital. He said he needed clothes to deliver to someone.”

“Who?” Gunda asked

“We don’t know yet, but because he pulled my censored bar away he now has to register as a sex offender.”

“As for Rio?” Kit’s father asked.

“Well because she was recklessly driving to the point of bodily harm and property damage, and we didn’t do anything wrong, she has to spend the Festival in jail.” Kit replied.

“It’s a good thing you guys called to get the trout out.” Jonas said. “Proud of you son!”

“Thanks dad! How was the nautical golf tournament?”

“Well, we placed second.” He declared to Margaret. “We have to go to the plaza tomorrow. You are performing tomorrow night correct?”

“Yea, I’m meeting Harry and Roxie at work tomorrow, and D’Arcy is setting up her clothing tent at the beach market.”

“Apparently someone sent a threat to her earlier this afternoon.” Kit’s brother told them. “They’re investigating who sent it.”

“Well, it’s probably nothing we should worry about, but we should tell D’Arcy once we get to the beach.”

Meanwhile the salmon trunks sank into a cave where a sea serpent sat waiting and grabbed it.

“Nice…” she said. “A sample of clothing from one of that jersey devil’s friends.” She smiled with glee. “He could be useful to me… in finally bringing her down…” she laughed as her factory workers continued to work…

[adozentothedawn]

First Playthrough Log Pathfinder: Kingmaker Part 31

Oh joy, it seems the mirror quest is bugged, because it doesn’t tigger. The only mention of this I found was in a post from may 2019. 

Aaaand now the game got stuck.

Ah there you go! Now it works.

Is that one ghost guard the elf king? A little disapointing but okay.

This feels weirdly anticlimactic. I haven’t taken a single of damage in the fight against Nyrissa because all she did was just heal herself. What to do with her now...

I mean I’m really tempted. More gameplay? And it would fit Tamary’s character... I’m just annoyed at myself that I didn’t save after defeating her.

j/ Mister, you are a giant floating ball of fire. With spikes. Calling you a lantern is like calling a burning house an oven. Like yeah I guess you can use it for that, but it seems kind of overkill.

I just realized I never saw Lander again, so maybe he’ll show up here. Edit: Yeah, there he is!

j/ Those are way too many Irovetti’s. At least they’re fittingly weak.

I just got my decleration of love from Kanerah and Kalikke and I must say I’m impressed. It’s great. I love it. It was so sweet and all I want is to hug them. I promise they’ll get a better wedding than just that though. 

j/ The last battle and Nyrissa just killed a dominated Jubilost. Thanks Nyrissa, remind me to never recruit you again.

What to do now... Not gonna lie, essentially becoming a fey does sound kind of dope. But also... immortality? Meh. At least if my wives don’t get same I’m very hesitant. Not gonna deal with Nyrissa though. I really don’t know why, but have less pity for her than for the Lantern King. Maybe it’s the voice actors, Nyrissa’s voice actress is just too good at sounding like a bitch.

I can’t find the actual ending slides unfortunately, but I did find something that said he was the chaotic ending and Nyrissa the good one, and like, why? What about Nyrissa is good? Like I get that she was fucked over and all, and we can totally have a discussion on her moral ambiguity, but how would allying with her lead to a good ending? Because in all honesty, but her and the Lantern King are kind of wonky with morals. They’re both selfish dicks, but they’re endgoal isn’t to hurt people. They’re very fine with it, but it’s not the point of what they’re doing. Anyway, I think I’ll both to fuck off. They can have their game somewhere else, Tamary is fine with the absolute batshit insane story she gets out of this. Becoming a fey would be dope, but also he admitted to being lonely and seem kind of insane. So yeah no thanks.

Aw, no he’s sad. If I’d been able to I would have told both they’re welcome to visit as long as they behave themselves. I can play tricks with him alright, I just don’t want immortality.

Okay, and now I’ll put a break, because after this will be my reactions to the ending slides, which make this thing even longer than usual and I don’t want to annoy people too badly. At least not with long posts.

You know, I pity what happened to Nyrissa in the beginning. It was a bad idea, but the Lantern King is also a dick with no sense of scale. She didn’t deserve that. But I don’t really pity her for her following fate, because that’s entirely her choice. He pulled back and gave up. She could do whatever she wanted to, for example apologize to her sister who were definitely the victims here, instead she chooses pointless revenge.

The republic thing is weird but okay.

Oh fuck you, I didn’t spend frivoulously. I was rich beyond reason in the end. 

My treasury is full of artifacts, but I’m out of money. Okay.

I can live with Brevoy sulking at me. 

Oh come on, no need to be so mean to Lander. It’s not like he was ever a real threat, and he actually did his job fine. I just hope he doesn’t get himself killed again.

Good for Amiri. Did her job well, and when she noticed it wasn’t for her, left them better than they were before. 

Not sure I’m too happy with Pitax, but it’s not bad enough to really annoy me. Let Moskoni have some money if he does his job well. (Even though apparently I don’t have any.)

I’m fine with the academy thing. As long as the leaflets are more creative than the last ones they’re at least entertaining.

Good for Varn! He’s a good man and deserves good things!

I’m glad Kesten stays. Tamary’ll see if she can find his sweetheart and she’s interested will make sure she can live here with her mother. For Tamary, fucking over noble marriage rules is a matter of principle. (As will be shown in the thing I’m currently working on.) Edit: Nevermind, she showed up on her own. Well good for them.

I’m glad the Sweet Teeth are having fun.

I’m a bit dissapointed at this non explanation for the Storyteller. Especially after that last bit it really feels like there’s something missing. Oh well, I hope he has fun wherever he goes. Maybe he’ll come visit later.

Yeah, like I said I have some issues with Valerie, but that would take too long to do here. Maybe later. But it’s not really the ending and more the general concept that I have an issue with, for what it’s worth the ending is fine I guess.

I like Harrim’s ending better than I expected. Nice.

I absolutely adore that Jaethal is now hanging out with Salim. I desperately need a buddy cup story about these two. I would die laughing.

Octavia is fine. I’m not really sure what else to say. Not very surprising, not very interesting, but fine. Good for her.

I like that Regongar’s plan for the future is basically just woo Octavia. That’s a romcom I’m down for!

Tristian stays, which is nice of him. Thank you.

I’ll gladly be godmother of Ekun’s baby, but I won’t lie, I’m not terribly into him marrying Elina. She was a kind of a creep. I’ll just have to hope Tamary managed to talk some sense into her, much like the Watcher does with Xoti.

I love Jubilost. He’s great. Not super into the game trying to ship him with Nyrd, it just seems kind of pointless, but I’m super into the rest. You are always welcome here Jubilost!

I’m so glad that Nok-Nok is happy. Even if his ending slide is still worded a bit... well mean, at least he seems to have found his place.

The whole Tartuccio Tartuk story is still kind of weird but I’m strangely into it. You go kobold man! (Also was it the Lantern King who reserructed him? If I ever found out who did it I forgot, but who else would it have been?)

!!!!! That’s so fucking cute!! Why aren’t there more tiefling shippers? I don’t get it. I love them so much. I hope Idream of the wedding tonight. This is absolutely adorable. Also, it’s tradition now to put little horns on the wedding hats? Oh hell yes! I love this so much... It’s so fucking cute I’m dying. I don’t think anything can top this. Excuse me while I go cry over my tiefling wives.

Bitches, I just got married! You can keep your marriage proposals, my wives are the best!

I still don’t know why they thought they had to do this to poor Linzi, but okay I guess.

Well, I guess now my last question is how I’ll start Varnhold’s Lot.^^ Not today anymore though, it’s already midnight. I want to though. Hmmm...

[theajaheira]

simpatico

read it on ao3!

He’d dropped by, once, to inform Angel that Buffy was dead. According to Cordelia, he’d hung around for a bit longer than he needed to—though he didn’t say it then, it was clear he had wanted to see Jenny.

She was glad they hadn’t seen each other then.

backstory time: when i was attempting to write what would eventually become the grieving process, i first wrote 6k words of a fic where giles showed up at jenny’s place after tabula rasa instead of in between s5 and s6. this is that fic. it isn’t exactly like the grieving process, but they are very closely linked, so i consider them sister fics.

Jenny opened the door to find Rupert Giles standing there with a strange, glassy-eyed expression, like he wasn’t quite sure how he got all the way from Sunnydale to Los Angeles but still seemed fairly aware of the fact that he was there, and now he had to do something about it. It was a painful experience, looking at him; she hadn’t seen him in nearly four years, and he looked very much worse for wear.

“I’m supposed to be in England,” he said. “Why am I here?”

“Not for some romantic-comedy reunion, I hope,” said Jenny stiffly, which was probably the wrong thing to say, but—she’d been caught off guard, okay, give her a break.

“No, I suppose not,” said Rupert distantly, and just kept standing there. This was very unlike Rupert, who generally had some sort of plan in mind. He’d dropped by, once, to inform Angel that Buffy was dead. According to Cordelia, he’d hung around for a bit longer than he needed to—though he didn’t say it then, it was clear he had wanted to see Jenny.

She was glad they hadn’t seen each other then. That had been right after they got back from Pylea, back when Jenny had been sitting in a room scrawled with equations and symbols, reading to Fred in a low, soothing voice from old programming manuals. Jenny, lonely, helpless, would have given anything for someone to hold her close then, and Rupert—Rupert had always wanted to hold someone close. That was something that had always frustrated her about him, because he never seemed to be able to admit it.

“Are you going to stand out here all day?” Jenny asked. The conversation felt strange and inane.

“I suppose not,” said Rupert again, and turned as if to go.

Jenny stared, furious not only that Rupert wasn’t giving her a straight answer, but that he was making her worry about him. “Come in,” she said sharply, too annoyed to remember that Rupert could be a vampire playing tricks.

Rupert gave her a reproachful look, one that made Jenny feel a rush of relief; this she knew. “You haven’t learned much in the last four years, I see,” he said thinly, and stepped in and around her.

Honestly? Jenny didn’t know what the fuck she was feeling right now. She wanted to be angry at his barbed insult, or worried at his unexpected visit, but the only clear emotion she could distinguish from the mix was exhausted, and that wasn’t even an emotion. “Why—” she began.

This was, of course, when Connor started to cry from the bedroom.

“Oh, great,” said Jenny, hurrying through the kitchenette and into the small bedroom. Connor hadn’t really been adjusting well to not being around his dad or Cordelia, and it wasn’t doing much for Jenny’s self-esteem. She picked him up from the crib, bouncing him awkwardly. “Shh,” she whispered. This did nothing.

Rupert rounded the corner and stopped at the sight of Jenny and Connor, a stricken look in his eyes. Jenny realized that the right thing to do would be to tell Rupert to leave so she can calm Connor down, but before she could, he said in this small, shaken voice, “You have a child?”

For the love of god. “Rupert,” said Jenny, “why are you here at this time of night?”

“I don’t—know,” said Rupert jerkily. “I left for England and, and found myself here, I think. I changed the tickets, looked up your address—Jenny, you always know what to do. Always have.”

“Wonderful,” said Jenny. “My ex-boyfriend, who I haven’t seen in four years, seems to think he knows me well enough to come to my apartment, insult me, ask about my having a baby like he still has feelings for me, and then act like he’s somehow entitled to my advice. Amazing.”

This was where she meant to tell Rupert to get out. But then she made the mistake of looking at him, and he looked—hollow from the inside out. There was a strange sort of nothingness in his eyes; no trace of affection or emotion or even reaction to what she had just said.

“Sleep on the couch,” she heard herself say. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

Rupert nodded, still looking at her as though he still didn’t quite understand why he was there. Then he turned and headed back towards the couch, half-collapsing onto it.

She found out the next day that he’d been drunk. Had he showed up a few hours earlier, she might have noticed, and had she noticed, she might have been a hell of a lot angrier than she had been upon seeing him. But it had been late, and she had been drowsy enough that small details had escaped her, and the strangeness of Rupert was something that lingered even when he was hungover. His expression was shuttered and distant even now that he was awake—he was the perfect picture of composure.

“I’m all right, thank you,” he said when she offered him some aspirin.

Jenny decided to focus on Connor instead. He was still pretty fussy, and it was clear he missed Angel, but there wasn’t a whole lot either of them could do about that until Holtz was out of the picture. There were a thousand and one wards up to protect Jenny and Connor from anyone with ill intent, which—probably meant that whatever Rupert was here for, it wasn’t something bad.

“Hey,” she said to Connor in the kitchen, trying to bounce him the way she’d seen Cordelia do. He didn’t seem that into it, so she steadied him instead. “Hey. Your dad loves you so so much, you know that? He’s out there right now fighting bad guys just for your little scrunched-up face.” Jenny felt woefully inadequate at the whole baby-talk thing. “I wish we didn’t have to lay low,” she said to Connor. “I miss Fred. She was fun to talk mathematical theories with. I was teaching her programming, you know that?”

Connor snuffled and grabbed at Jenny’s hair.

“It’s all fun and games until the kid starts pulling,” said Jenny to herself, and headed back out into the living room. Rupert was watching television with that same vacant expression. “Here,” she said, and gave him Connor to hold. “You’re both causing me a lot of trouble—maybe you can cause each other trouble instead.”

Rupert looked down at Connor and his face softened a little.

“He’s not my baby,” Jenny added belatedly, if only because she was a little worried about Rupert.

“Hmm,” said Rupert, and smoothed down the little knitted hat Connor was wearing. Connor looked up at Rupert with interest.

Oh, great,Jenny thought, the baby likes him more than me. Icing on top of the goddamn cake. She stood in front of them for a few more seconds, then said, “You do need to tell me why you’re here.”

“Honestly, Jenny, I really don’t know,” said Rupert heavily. “I headed to the airport with full intent of heading to England, and next thing I know I’m waking up, hungover, on your couch, and you’re handing me a baby. It’s a bit much to take in.”

“You remember last night, though, right?” said Jenny, surprised and a little worried. She sat down in the chair next to him.

“Distantly,” said Rupert. “It isn’t the alcohol, it’s just—” He exhaled. “I’ve been alone, I think,” he said, “for too long, and I think it’s affected me—adversely. And I, I didn’t know—who else—” He let out a sobbing breath, then handed Connor hastily back to Jenny. “I’m a damn mess,” he said finally. “Wouldn’t want it to affect the child.”

“His dad’s Angel,” said Jenny. “This kid is a guaranteed mess.” She said it lovingly, though, because Angel was the kind of mess who mostly just needed a listening ear once in a while and a mug of pig’s blood brought to him while he was brooding.

It took her by surprise that Rupert (Watcher and researcher and lover of knowledge) didn’t immediately bombard her with questions about how a vampire’s child could be possible. It made her wonder what had changed in the last four years; he used to get so much joy from the work he did. Instead, he just said, “I’m sorry I came, Jenny. It was wholly out of order, and it must have been extremely unpleasant for you.”

Jenny nodded. “It was,” she said, remembering again to be a little angry—at Rupert for coming to her, at herself for letting him in. “You can’t just show up on my doorstep with the expectation that nothing’s changed.”

“I haven’t seen you in four years,” said Rupert, and he gave her this wobbly little smile—and it had been a very long time that someone had smiled at Jenny like that, the hesitant mixture of affection and attraction. Her heart picked up, despite itself. “I suppose I wasn’t thinking things through.”

“Plus you were pretty drunk,” Jenny added, trying to steer the conversation away from any possible romantic overtures.

The half-hopeful look on Rupert’s face dissipated and he nodded awkwardly. “I was,” he said. Then, “I’m sorry you saw me like that.”

A memory came back to Jenny, one she’d locked away two miles out of Sunnydale and promised herself she’d never think of again: the expression on Rupert’s face as she’d pressed the floppy disk into his hand and told him, quietly, that saving Sunnydale would have to be up to him and the kids from now on. He’d looked devastated, but it was clear that his anguish was a by-product of his own guilt, and…and she hated that he blamed himself for choices she made. She hated his tendency to do that.

“I let you in because I was worried about you,” she said, keeping her tone neutral. She didn’t know how to feel, looking at him. This was someone she’d loved more than she thought herself capable of, and someone who, time and time again, had left her feeling wrung-out and lonely. Leaving Sunnydale had been the right decision, she knew, but leaving Rupert wasn’t as easy a choice to parse. “Whatever we are…you’re still someone who had an incredibly huge impact on my life, Rupert. You should know that.” She had to look away when she said it; she couldn’t look into his eyes and watch that sweet, shy smile spread across his face. “Don’t apologize to me,” she finished awkwardly, and looked up again.

And that empty look in Rupert’s eyes was gone. He still looked so much older than she remembered him, weighed down by loss and a tangible grief, but he no longer looked like a shell of himself, and something about that reassured Jenny. “I’m sorry, still, for imposing,” he said, and it no longer sounded like a vague placation. “My problems are my own, and we’ve been apart for far too long for me to expect—”

“You should have other people besides me,” said Jenny quietly. “You know that, right? It’s not good that I’m your go-to girl, and it definitely isn’t good that it took you like four years to come to.”

“The children—” Rupert exhaled. “Either they need me too much to be healthy or they don’t need me at all,” he said, “and I could never divulge my personal struggles and failings to them. I cannot imagine burdening them with my problems.”

“And you’d burden me,” said Jenny, only half-joking. The responding look on Rupert’s face made her somewhat more aware of the fact that perhaps this wasn’t the right time to make that sort of a joke. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I just—Rupert, you know your worries and fears shouldn’t be something you just bottle up, right? You need some kind of an outlet, even if it’s not—” And then she stopped, grinning.

“What is it?” said Rupert.

“Oh, snickerdoodle,” said Lorne disapprovingly as soon as he saw that Jenny was holding Connor. “You know that baby’s dad is gonna kill you if he knows you’re parading his son around town, right? This place isn’t exactly undercover.” Here he glanced pointedly over at a few Wolfram and Hart execs, one of them—oh goddamn it. Today of all days?

“Jenny, what is your plan right now?” Rupert asked, looking a mixture of bewildered and annoyed. Something about that felt comfortingly familiar.

At the Wolfram and Hart table, Lilah Morgan raised a perfectly manicured hand to wave gracefully to Jenny. Jenny, who did not care to relive the whole why-did-you-sleep-with-a-lawyer-from-Wolfram-and-Hart conversation that she’d had with Angel a few months ago, gave Lilah a tense smile in return.

“Really don’t think you thought this one through, cream puff,” said Lorne, taking Connor from Jenny. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Rupert,” said Jenny. “He needs a reading.”

“A reading important enough to bring Connor down to the biggest demon hotspot in LA?” said Lorne skeptically.

“You’re kidding yourself, honey,” said Jenny, patting Lorne’s shoulder.

“A reading?” Rupert repeated, now sounding just annoyed. “Jenny, I don’t need—”

“You came for my help, didn’t you?” said Jenny to Rupert, and didn’t wait for an answer, turning back to Lorne. “It’ll be quick and I’ll pay you,” she said.

“You know I’m going to do it for free,” Lorne grumbled, turning to Rupert. “All right, crumpet, let’s get cooking. Sing a few notes for me, will ya?”

“Am I correct in assuming you’re Pylean?” inquired Rupert, cocking his head as he looked at Lorne.

Lorne looked a little taken aback. “You could say that,” he said finally, “though I don’t like affiliating myself with the people I grew up around.”

Rupert nodded, then quietly hummed a few bars of something that sounded vaguely like a ballad. Lorne had a strange look on his face when Rupert was done—sort of sad and disapproving at the same time.

“Oh, Rupert,” he said. “You can’t push people away just because you’re afraid of holding them too close.”

Jenny frowned. “Lorne, what—” she began, but Lorne held up a hand.

“I don’t push anyone away,” said Rupert, stiff and somewhat defensive.

“She needs you,” said Lorne. “You know she does. And your leaving is just hurting her more—”

“She shouldn’t need me,” said Rupert, and his voice shook. “And I care for her too much to be truly of help to her. I would only hold her back.”

But Lorne shook his head. “You can’t pick and choose what kind of a parent you are,” he said. “And make no mistake, Rupert—you are a parent to that girl, not a Watcher, and I think you know it deep down. But parents don’t get to bail when they’re afraid they love their kid too much to be of help. That decision is only ever up to the kid to make.”

Rupert looked first stunned, then affronted. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said finally. “You can’t possibly—”

“Rupert,” said Jenny quietly. “Rupert, why is he talking about you bailing on Buffy?”

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” said Rupert flatly. “I made the right decision—I made a difficult decision, and—”

“Tell me,” said Jenny.

Rupert faltered. “It isn’t,” he began, then, “You said yourself we haven’t seen each other in four years, Jenny, who are you to demand I tell you anything?”

She could tell he was trying to hurt her in some misguided attempt to keep her from asking anything else. Well, screw that. Jenny Calendar wasn’t dissuaded that easily. “I’m not demanding,” she said, quiet and deliberate. “All I’m saying is that if you honestly believe you made the right decision, you’ll be able to look straight into my eyes and tell me exactly what you did.”

It took Rupert almost thirty seconds to finally make eye contact with her. When he did, he just looked at her, a long, hungry stare as though he thought he might never get to look at her in this way again. Then, softly, he said, “I’ll be returning to Sunnydale, I think.”

“Yeah,” said Jenny, who was smart enough to have pieced together what Rupert had done on her own—or enough of it, at least, to understand his newfound guilt. “Yeah, I think so too.”

Rupert nodded, and nodded, and then stepped forward, placing a hand on Jenny’s shoulder and pressing a quiet kiss to her cheek. “I must admit I did idealize you over these last years,” he said softly, “but the Jenny Calendar I found here is better than any woman I could have dreamed up or hoped for.”

It wasn’t a statement meant to win her over, or prove anything about his character; it was very clearly something he said because he needed her to know it, and something he genuinely, truly believed. Jenny stared at him, frustrated and a little hurt, as he let his hand drop, turning and leaving the bar.

“Sugarplum,” said Lorne from next to her, “I don’t need to read your songs to tell you that you and him aren’t close to over.”

She didn’t have feelings for him. That part, at least, Jenny was sure of. Time and hurt had dulled her love for him into something that wasn’t quite as painfully ardent—a quiet, affectionate sort of thing that didn’t seem quite as romantic. She looked at him and she wanted him to be happy, and that was the end of it.

Or—a qualifier worth noting was that she couldn’t have feelings for someone she hadn’t seen in four years, someone who she herself was guilty of idealizing just a bit and who she really didn’t know all that well anymore. She wanted to get to know him again, certainly, but she had a very strong sense that trying to know him now would mean taking charge of helping him get his life together, and she didn’t feel prepared to take on that kind of responsibility.

“It’s ridiculous,” she said to Connor, sleepy and soft, cuddled on the bed with him in the crook of her arm. She was getting better at this whole single-kind-of-aunt thing—practice made perfect, and the kid wasn’t too much of a handful once he liked you. “You’d think I’d know my own mind well enough to know what my feelings are for a guy.”

Connor made a burbly noise and closed his eyes, and Jenny wondered where Rupert was right now. Taking the plane home, maybe, or waiting in the airport for the first flight out to Sunnydale. She hoped he wasn’t going to England, not with Buffy only barely back from the grave; that girl really did need Rupert there to guide her and support her.

“He worries about everyone,” she said softly. “I guess he gets used to people not worrying about him.”

The stuff with Holtz and Sahjhan was starting to take a lot longer than everyone had planned for, and something else was happening too: Jenny was starting to really like the quiet simplicity of taking care of a baby. And yeah, any new parent (or old parent, even) could tell you that taking care of a baby was definitely no picnic, but when you’re comparing it to being eaten alive by some weird demon in a sewer or almost getting toxic-slimed or getting bitten by something poisonous and contagious that had you quarantined in the Hyperion for a week, waiting for the scales to stop growing? Definitely seemed one hell of a lot easier.

She felt almost ashamed that she was so comfortable with the concept of normalcy, partially because so many of the people she cared about couldn’t seem to cope with it. And she still wasn’t really sure if she was ready to be a mom—it was one hell of a lot easier when she knew that this wasn’t a permanent gig, because she was always a little worried that she’d end up messing Connor up for good. But it was kind of nice to go to sleep at a regular hour, no patrolling or vampire-slaying required—and getting woken by a crying baby was worlds better than getting woken by some demon or another. It reminded her of that blissfully quiet year before she met Angel at a club in LA and he invited her to work with him.

Maybe something normal and quiet was what Jenny wanted. She hadn’t had a lot of time to figure it out.

She’d meant to decide on exactly what she wanted to do with her life back when she left Sunnydale that first time around. It had been the only reason she’d felt that leaving Rupert was the right thing to do for her, but…what was she doing, now? Glorified babysitting, sleeping most of the day, and cashing in the rent checks covertly sent through the mail by Cordelia. Rupert’s arrival was the only interesting thing that had happened to her since she and Connor had arrived in the apartment.

Jenny went out to the local library and read to Connor from the board books, and started to think about how loneliness could eat at a person without them even realizing it.

About three weeks after Rupert’s visit, Jenny came back with Connor and the groceries to find a blinking light on her answering machine. Gently setting Connor down in his high chair, she played the message.

“Ms. Calendar? This is, uh, this is Buffy. Angel gave me this number and said you were, you were taking some time off to raise a baby, which—congratulations, I guess. Giles didn’t tell us a lot about what went down when he visited you. Anyway, I just wanted to—” A shaky inhalation before the message continued. “You know, I never talked to you after you left Sunnydale, and that—that wasn’t fair to you, considering what you did for us. I was, I was young, and vindictive, and I didn’t know how to apologize for that back then. B-but I think an apology’s due now, I—” An almost-sob. “I needed him here. So much. And you got him to come back for me, and—he’s been here, and I’m going back to college, and it feels—like—like I have someone here for me. Really here for me. Not just someone who wants me to be all better again.”

Jenny was leaning against the wall with a wobbly smile on her face.

“I, I wanted to know if you’d—if you wanted to go out for coffee next week? To talk? I’m thinking of flying up to LA with Dawn. We could really both use some kind of a vacation, and from what Angel was saying, it seems like maybe you might too. So. Call me back if—if you want. ‘Cause that’d be really cool. Okay. Bye.”

Jenny switched the machine off and sort of started crying. Connor, seeing that she was upset, made an audible noise of distress from the high chair, and she stumbled over to him, picking him up and holding him close. “It’s okay,” she sniffled. “It’s good. I’m good.”

And, shit, she really was? Because she had still sometimes thought about that day she’d left Sunnydale, about Buffy catching her arm hard enough to bruise and saying, with the sort of unbridled anger that came only from an incredibly hurt teenager, you don’t deserve Giles if you’re going to leave him when he needs you the most. She had still wondered, if she’d ever come back to Sunnydale: would Buffy have ever been able to forgive her, or would Buffy have still been stubbornly in the mindset of Jenny being the worst of the worst?

Some small, deeply hurt part of Jenny had stopped hurting quite as much after listening to that message. She pressed a soft kiss to the top of Connor’s head (wondering, very secretly, if maybe kids were a thing she might actually want to have somewhere very far down the line), placed him down on the sofa, and called Buffy back.

The phone picked up on the first ring. “Hey!” said Jenny, too nervous to wait for clarification that she had, in fact, called the Summers residence. “This is Jenny returning your call—”

“Oh,” said Rupert, sounding surprised and a little shy. “Um, hello, Jenny.”

Jenny’s heart fluttered. “Hey,” she said, smiling slightly and twisting the cord of the phone idly around one finger. “I was just gonna call Buffy, but maybe I should also talk to you.”

“Oh?”

“No need to get all apprehensive,” said Jenny, meaning to sound teasing but coming out more affectionate than anything. She winced a little, but soldiered on. “Buffy left a very nice message on my machine regarding how much your being in Sunnydale means to her. She implied that you’ve been paying for her tuition?”

A brief pause, and then Rupert said, “Your friend Lorne was right. I’m not even close to a Watcher, and—and I think Buffy and I rather prefer the situation that way.”

“So do a lot of us,” said Jenny. “That organization’s done some pretty messed up stuff in its time."

“As did I when I was a part of it,” said Rupert heavily.

“Hey,” said Jenny playfully. “Now’s not the time for a pity party, Rupert. You did good. Embrace it.”

Rupert was quiet for another moment. When he next spoke, his voice was low and unspeakably tender. “You are a marvel, Jenny,” he said. “I cannot possibly thank you enough.”

And it was strange, and sort of frightening, but the feeling Jenny was feeling wasn’t a dizzy rush of passionate infatuation—nothing like the way she’d felt around him four years ago. What she was feeling was…the word for it wasn’t dulled, Jenny realized then, but concrete. Solid and unchanging.

“Yeah, okay,” she said, and smiled. “Is Buffy there? I do still need to return the call she made.”

“Oh—of course.” Rupert sounded like he was smiling too. There was a muffled conversation that Jenny couldn’t quite make out, and then silence save for quiet breathing on the other end of the line.

“Hey,” said Jenny, trying to keep her voice light and upbeat. She wasn’t sure how Buffy was going to react to them actually talking to each other.

“Hi,” came Buffy’s voice, hesitant and almost pre-apologetic.

Neither of them seemed to know what to say. Then, Jenny, biting the bullet, finally managed, “What—”

“Ms. Calendar I am so so so sorry!” Buffy’s voice was trembling and she sounded near tears. “The way Giles was when he came back, he kept on saying how mad at him you were for leaving me when I needed him, and, and I always thought when you left that you just—left, you know? Without looking back. But if you had the chance to get Giles back and sent him back to me instead—” Her voice broke.“I’m, like, the dumbest of the dumb,” she said. “And I figured it out like three months after you left, but—I didn’t have your number, and then I did but I didn’t want to call you when you might not even care about me at all—”

“Hey,” said Jenny. “Hey. Buffy. You were a seventeen-year-old and you thought that your first love was dead. I have never held your anger or your actions against you.”

“But I held such an awful grudge—”

“It’s okay,” said Jenny, and she really meant it. “It was a long time ago, and—” She found it difficult to continue, all of a sudden. She was thinking about the way she’d felt turning away from Rupert, about what it might have been like to get to be really, properly in love with the guy for four years. “It sucked,” she said honestly. “It did. But you can’t go back and change the past, and I know you’re a really good kid.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so,” said Jenny assertively. From the high chair, Connor uttered a plaintive sound that meant he wanted her attention, and she sighed. “Duty calls,” she said. “Any day I should be expecting you by?”

“Will Wednesday be okay?” Buffy asked nervously.

“Wednesday will be great,” said Jenny, who was already running a mental list of kid-friendly coffee shops nearby. “Say, two o’clock? You can meet Connor.”

“Connor?”

“It’s complicated,” said Jenny, because it was, and she didn’t want to risk Wolfram and Hart getting wind of any information. Angel had mentioned that they’d tapped the phone lines and were doing their best to listen in on her for any clues regarding Connor’s parentage. “But, um, I’m seriously really looking forward to—you know. Catching up.”

“Me too,” said Buffy, and she sounded genuinely happy. Connor knocked his rattle very pointedly off the high chair and shrieked.

Dawn, now in that too-tall awkward-teenager phase, was taking pictures of the decorative menu outside the café and trying to harangue Rupert into getting into the shot. “Move left,” she was saying as Jenny walked up to them with the stroller. Rupert moved very determinedly right, then caught sight of Jenny and turned pink. “Left, Giles,” Dawn said indignantly, not yet noticing Jenny, “it’s not gonna kill you to be in a few family photo albums, just—”

“Oh,” said Jenny, and grinned at Rupert. “Hey. Buffy didn’t mention you’d be coming up.”

“I-it was a bit of an impulse decision,” Rupert confessed, still blushing. “Besides which, I think I like going on plane rides with the girls. They make things interesting.”

“Hi, Ms. Calendar!” said Dawn brightly, turning with the camera and snapping a candid shot of Jenny and Connor, the latter asleep in his stroller. “Oh my gosh your baby’s so cute!”

“Dawn, you need to ask before you do that,” Rupert gently reprimanded.

“Oh. Whoops.” Dawn looked earnestly up at Jenny over the camera. “Is it cool, retroactively, that I already took your picture?”

“Retroactively, yes,” said Jenny, and stopped the stroller next to Dawn, stepping up to give Rupert a hug. She felt like he deserved it, all the good he was doing. “It’s good to see you,” she said quietly, so that only he could hear, and pulled back just a little to look properly at him. He looked better than when she’d last seen him, though that last time had set the bar pretty low. He still looked that same kind of tired, but Jenny suspected that that was a thing that came with getting older and lonelier over the course of four years. Which made her feel a little sad, because—

“All right, you two, break it up,” came Buffy’s voice, “you’re both just staring at each other and it’s weird. I’m the one who’s supposed to be getting coffee with Ms. Calendar while the stragglers hit up that bookstore across the street, remember?”

Jenny and Rupert stepped back, both of them smiling a little sheepishly. “I’ll see you—later, then,” said Rupert.

“Sounds good,” said Jenny, and turned to Buffy, who suddenly looked a little nervous. Trying not to reveal her own nerves (hey, one of them had to be the calm one), Jenny stepped around Rupert and pulled Buffy into a brief, somewhat awkward hug. “It’s good to see you too,” she said. “You look—”

Something in her fractured a little when she got her first proper look at Buffy. The Buffy Jenny remembered was a tiny seventeen-year-old with an easy-sweet smile on her face, someone who had been so thrown and frightened by the loss of Angel. This Buffy carried sadness and loss in her eyes, and stood like she didn’t even have to think about their presence anymore.

“You’ve grown up,” said Jenny finally, and wished Buffy hadn’t.

“Everyone does, someday,” said Buffy, and shrugged.

Later, if asked to pinpoint a specific moment, Jenny would always say that it was then that she and Buffy finally reached common ground. “We should go inside,” she said, “get something horrible and sugary with a few bad drinks to go with it.” She stepped back over to the stroller, pushing it back towards the café.

“She’s underage,” Rupert called over his shoulder as Dawn towed him towards the bookstore. “If you let her drink I will be thoroughly disapproving.”

“Gotcha,” Jenny called back to him, grinning. “Strip clubs and non-alcoholic drinks, then.”

Buffy was watching the two of them with a stunned smile on her face. When Jenny turned back to her, she said, “He hasn’t looked like that since—” and let the sentence drop a little clumsily.

“I like him looking like that,” said Jenny. “Happy. He deserves it.”

“He really does,” said Buffy, and they entered the café together, the little bell above the door ringing cheerfully. “So, I just—I mean, my phone message covered a lot of it, but—how are you?”

“Well, I have a baby now,” said Jenny, and her mouth twitched at Buffy’s bad attempt to not look curious. “Angel didn’t brief you on the whole baby situation?”

“What—oh!” Buffy looked genuinely relieved. “You mean—when he called last week about Connor—oh, okay. Because I was starting to think, you know, Willow said Giles went up to LA around the time I died, and, and the timeline would kinda—” Off Jenny’s look, she winced. “You know, I think I’m going to stop talking right about now,” she said.

Jenny tried not to laugh. “It’s okay,” she said. “Kinda figured I’d be fielding some awkward questions about the baby’s father sooner or later.”

Buffy looked over and into the stroller. “He’s pretty cute,” she observed, grinning in a way that made her actually look her age. “Super teensy. Are all babies like that, or is he a special case?”

“I wouldn’t be the best person to ask,” said Jenny, and leaned over as well. Connor hadn’t yet woken up, still cuddling the small teddy bear Angel had covertly sent over. She studied him for a moment, tucked the blanket very carefully around him, then looked back up at Buffy. “What about you?”

“What?”

“How are things going with you?”

Buffy’s smile flickered. “Well,” she said, “I almost started sleeping with Spike. That wasn’t great. Giles wants me to start seeing a therapist, because he thinks that’ll help me come to terms with all the stuff I’m dealing with. Willow’s in a kind of magic-user rehab in England, and Xander and Anya are on the rocks all the time, and—” She exhaled, smiling a little nervously. “Giles tries,” she said. “He does. But sometimes I feel like we all need him way too much.”

Jenny considered this. “He making any new friends?”

Buffy scoffed. “It’s Giles,” she said. “I’m pretty sure the last time he made a new friend was you.”

Jenny was saved from having to respond to that when Connor woke up and, upset about being in a new location, started to cry. Hastily, she picked him up, humming an old song that maybe her mom might have sung to her when she was very little. He quieted, but he was pretty clearly still not into the café.

“Seems like he takes after his dad,” said Buffy, and started giggling at Jenny’s badly hidden smile. “Should we maybe take him back to your apartment?”

“He’ll deal,” said Jenny. “I won’t have him growing up a total shut-in.”

“At least you know where he gets it from,” Buffy quipped. “I’ll go order. You wanna grab a table?”

“Sure,” said Jenny, smiling, and awkwardly steered the stroller over to a corner table, trying her best not to jostle Connor in her arms. He looked up at her with wide, upset eyes when they sat down. “Hey,” she said. “Relax. I’m here, and I wouldn’t take you anywhere unsafe, okay? You know that.”

Connor was definitely way too young to really understand what she had just said, but the cadence of Jenny’s voice seemed to relax him. He closed his eyes, turning his head a little so that his tiny cheek rested against her shoulder.

“Oh,” said Jenny softly. “Okay.”

Buffy came over with two pastries, smiling a little when she saw Connor snuggled up on Jenny’s shoulder. “You still like blueberry muffins and black coffee, right?” she asked apprehensively. “I only remember ‘cause Giles always made this whole production out of getting you coffee back in junior year—”

“Right on the nose,” said Jenny easily. “I love black coffee, and this establishment makes some of the best.” She moved over in the small wooden booth to make space for Buffy, who sat down next to her. “So tell me more about college.”

Buffy slid the muffin over to Jenny, then said, “Um, it’s good, I guess. Willow’s not in college anymore, and Xander’s still got that carpentry thing he’s doing, so me and Tara have been spending a lot of time together.”

“Tara?”

“Willow’s—” Buffy stopped, then laughed a little bitterly. “Almost called her Willow’s girlfriend,” she said. “Willow and Tara broke up. She’s been staying with us while she gets her feet on the ground.” She frowned a little distantly. “Is that the right expression? Or is it—I feel like it might be standing on her own two feet, or something.”

Sensing a characteristic Buffy tangent, Jenny steered the conversation back into more coherent waters. “It’s good that Tara has someone there for her,” she said. “And—just based off of that message you left me, I’m incredibly glad that the same can be said for you.”

Buffy smiled a little, glancing over through the front window of the café. Outside the bookstore, Dawn was sorting through the bargain books while Rupert struggled to carry five or six expensive-looking older volumes. “Yeah, me too,” she said. “How about you?”

“What?”

“Well, you haven’t just been hanging with Connor all this time, right?”

Jenny tried to smile. “You know the situation with Connor,” she said. “We’re kind of supposed to be underground at the moment until we’re sure the Hyperion is a safe place for a baby.” This was as close to the truth as she could say out in the open, but she figured Buffy would get the gist of it.

Buffy did. “He’s not safe up here in LA, then?” she said casually.

“Not as safe as he should be,” said Jenny bitterly. She’d grown up around people like Holtz. She could understand his vitriolic hatred of Angelus—hell, she could second it, even—but she couldn’t understand his condemnation of Angel as completely irredeemable, and she hated that he might hurt Connor in his vengeance-driven quest. “But his dad’s hell-bent on keeping him here, so here we are.”

“Yeah, his dad is kind of an idiot,” said Buffy matter-of-factly.

Surprised, Jenny laughed. “A little bit!” she said. “But—I mean, he wants to keep his kid safe. I can’t exactly resent him for that.”

“So he’s keeping his kid safe by hiding him in a city that isn’t safe for him?” Buffy said skeptically. “That really doesn’t seem smart. That seems more like he just wants his kid in the same city as him.”

Jenny sighed. “Can you blame him?” she said. “This world is such a crazy place. I’d be afraid to let go of love if I found it again, and after so long—” She realized what she was saying, flushed, and stopped. Then, awkwardly, she said, “You’re right, though. I should try and get into contact with him, convince him to be…” She trailed off. “Practical,” she finally said.

“Seems like a plan,” said Buffy, eyes twinkling with a merriment that Jenny did remember. She was reminded of the mischievous sixteen-year-old, all bouncy ponytails and bright smiles. No, I have a free.“And what do you know, now that Tara’s finally renting an apartment, my place has a spare bedroom! What place is safer than the bona fide Vampire Slayer’s house?”

“Buffy,” said Jenny, smiling a little tiredly.

“Ms. Calendar,” said Buffy, gentle but firm, “I get that things with you and Giles might never be the way they were before. And this honestly isn’t me trying to set you guys up—though don’t get me wrong, I think you two would be great together. Giles says you’ve been living alone, and I don’t like that Angel put you in that position.” Her own smile had faded, replaced with that same tired, sad expression that looked so out of place on such a force of sunshine. “Having someone to take care of but no one to talk to…I know how that feels. I don’t want you to have to go through that.”

God, did Jenny wish that offer wasn’t as tempting as it was. “Angel wouldn’t agree,” she said, mostly to remind herself that it wasn’t a possibility.

“And you think I couldn’t make him?” Buffy quipped.

“I can’t live in the past,” said Jenny helplessly.

“You can’t run from it either,” said Buffy simply. “Look, it’s not—you don’t have to make up your mind right now, just…keep it in mind, okay?” The waitress showed up with a coffee and an overly stylish hot chocolate. “Thanks,” said Buffy, her eyes still on Jenny.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” said Jenny quietly.

It wasn’t that Jenny didn’t like the idea of returning to Sunnydale. She did. More than she wanted to. It was that Jenny had left. She had made that choice, and it had taken her a long, painful few nights of deliberation to make it. Returning to Sunnydale meant acknowledging that her decision to leave had been the wrong one. That concept hurt, especially when coupled with her rekindled feelings for Rupert. Platonic, romantic, whatever it was, she felt something for him, and it was something that wasn’t as easily buried the second time around.

Returning to Sunnydale felt like returning to Rupert. Returning to him meant that she never should have left.

“So how many strip clubs did she drag you to?” Rupert was asking Buffy playfully, handing her a large stack of books.

“What are these for?” Buffy teased, grinning back. “God, Giles, can you go anywhere without picking up half a library?”

“It’s the librarian in him—” Dawn chimed in.

Jenny watched the three of them and—god, did she hate how easily she could imagine herself with them. Four years could have been enough to patch things up with Buffy, get to know Dawn, help Willow, and she’d left. What the hell was keeping her here?

Connor woke up and immediately began to cry again.

Oh. Right. Jenny crossed to pick him up from the stroller, bouncing him in her arms. Turning to Rupert and the girls, she said with a nervous laugh, “He might be a little tired, I should probably—”

“I’ll see you home,” said Rupert abruptly. Behind him, Buffy and Dawn had identical delighted grins.

“Oh, you don’t have to—” Jenny began.

“Nonsense,” said Rupert. “What sort of fellow would I be if I let a lady walk home alone?” He stepped forward, taking the stroller. “Buffy, Dawn, you don’t mind heading back in the direction of the hotel?”

“Here’s an idea,” said Dawn. “Why don’t we take care of the baby and you two take the hotel room?”

Buffy elbowed Dawn, Jenny and Rupert exchanged a wry, amused look, and all of a sudden it felt like Jenny had never left at all. She covered up her blush by turning back to the girls. “Sweet as that offer is,” she said, shifting Connor (who, while significantly calmer, was still clinging to her leather jacket), “I’m this kid’s primary protector.”

“What’s better protection than a Vampire Slayer?” Dawn persisted. “And you guys could both use a break—”

“Thank you, Dawn, but I think my walking Jenny home will suffice,” said Rupert patiently. “I assume you two can reach the hotel safely? Hang on—” He rummaged in his wallet, then pressed a few twenties into Buffy’s hand. “Cab fare, plus extra if you want a snack at the hotel,” he said.

“Thanks, Dad,” said Buffy, light and playful, but the sentiment in her voice was clear.

Rupert flushed, but he was smiling a bit. “Of course,” he said.

Buffy and Dawn headed to go flag down a cab, and Jenny and Rupert were left with a snuffling Connor. “I’m not really that good at this,” she said with a self-deprecating smile.

“Don’t be absurd,” said Rupert, beginning to push the stroller alongside Jenny. “He adores you.”

“Smart kid,” said Jenny.

“Indeed,” said Rupert.

They’d stopped walking. Why had they stopped walking? They’d barely gotten two feet away from the café, and Rupert was looking at Jenny’s mouth, and Jenny was suddenly feeling this terrible bubble of anxiety in her chest.

“Jenny—” said Rupert.

“I can’t come back to Sunnydale,” said Jenny before she could stop herself.

Rupert frowned a little. “What?” he said.

Jenny exhaled, embarrassed. “Can we just keep walking?” she said.

“All right,” said Rupert, still looking somewhat bemused, and fell into step with Jenny.

Eyes on the street in front of them, Jenny said, “I left, you know? That was my decision. Going back on it now feels like—”

“No, I’m sorry, I think we should stop walking,” said Rupert, sounding all but stunned. “Jenny, are you trying to tell me that you’re considering coming back to Sunnydale?”

“No,” said Jenny, and goddamn it, this blush was impossible to hide.

Rupert gave her a Look.

“I don’t like that you and the kids make me want to come back,” said Jenny reluctantly. “I closed that door a while ago, leaving the way I did.”

Rupert looked somewhat exasperated. “Oh, for—” He let go of the stroller, crossing around it to stand in front of Jenny. “Doors don’t close,” he said. “Not permanently. It’s hard work to rebuild trust, rebuild love, but it is always worth it. And considering that you’re the one who pushed me back into returning to Sunnydale in the first place, I think you should follow your own damn advice.”

“Those were completely different circumstances!” Jenny objected, indignant.

“No, they really weren’t, because you left,”said Rupert fiercely. “You left because you thought you weren’t needed, and that you might cause harm by staying. You left people who loved—love—you, and I think you know they never really stopped. You left, and you know it was the wrong choice, but you’re afraid that the people you hurt will be angry at you if you return after being gone for so long, after making them think you might never come back. Jenny, Jenny,” he caught her hand in his, making sure she still had a steady grip on Connor, “they’re not different circumstances at all. I left, and I thought I could never come back without hurting Buffy more, but all I was doing was hurting myself. I don’t want you making that mistake.”

Jenny’s heart was pounding. “I didn’t,” she said.

“Pardon?”

“I didn’t know you never stopped loving me,” said Jenny, feeling a little dizzy. “I never knew you loved me at all.”

Rupert blinked. Jenny could actually see him working back over what he’d said. Slowly, his face paled. “Oh,” he said weakly.

Jenny waited for him to take it back. She waited for him to want to take it back. But Rupert was looking at her with the same kind of anguish that he’d had all those years ago, the day she’d left Sunnydale for good. Like he thought his admission had lost her all over again. He might not be wrong. “I have to—I should go,” she said jerkily.

“Jenny, no, I—I—”

“I should go,” said Jenny again, tugging her hand free of Rupert’s grip. She took one step, then another, then ran, Connor in her arms, too far gone to even care that she’d left the stroller behind.

Jenny locked the door and put up five extra wards that would keep anyone from coming into her apartment unless they were her or Connor. And she was fine. It was fine. Every single part of this was absolutely fucking fine. Rupert loving her for years, missing her, hurting because of her—she’d left because she hadn’t wanted to hurt him. She’d left because she’d thought his devastation at her leaving had been guilt over driving her away, not the same kind of love that had tied her to Sunnydale for so long.

She’d left him, over and over again, because she was so, so scared of hurting him, of getting hurt, because she had never been in love before and she just knew she was going to fuck it up. And she had, hadn’t she? She’d quite literally bolted before he’d gotten the chance to say I love you.

The phone rang. Jenny swallowed, hard. Rupert had her number; it didn’t seem unreasonable for him to call. She gently set Connor down in his crib, took a few deep breaths, and picked up the phone. “Hey.”

“Jenny,” said Angel, and he sounded positively joyful. “Jenny, Holtz is neutralized. It’s over.”

Jenny almost dropped the phone. She bit her lip so hard she tasted blood, determined not to let Angel hear her cry. “That’s great,” she said in a strangled voice. “Seriously. So, so you’re swinging by to pick up Connor?”

“Actually, I thought you could swing by the Hyperion,” said Angel, still absolutely, obliviously happy. “We’ve missed you, Jenny, and—and god, it’s gonna be good to see my son again. How is he? He’s doing okay?”

“Angel, I need to go,” said Jenny thinly.

“Jenny, is everything okay?”

“Connor’s fine,” said Jenny. Her voice broke, so she said it again, because that was what mattered. “Connor’s fine.” She hung up the phone and crumpled to the floor, and all she could think of was the horrible, hurt look on Rupert’s face.

Nothing, she thought. There is nothing keeping me anywhere.

Angel showed up the next day, Cordelia and Wesley and Gunn and Fred all in tow, all of them bubbling over with delighted, self-satisfied, post-apocalyptic energy. Jenny wanted to be happy to see them, but her time away from Angel Investigations made it hard to feel a part of the group again. She gave them all a small, thin smile, handed Connor to Angel (he was just starting to cuddle into her, to let himself be comforted by her), and locked herself in the bedroom under the guise of packing her things, falling back onto the bed.

There was a knock on the door after about fifteen minutes. “Jenny?” called Wesley from the hallway.

“You guys can go on without me!” called back Jenny, who had no intention of ever getting up.

“Jenny,” said Wesley, “I intend to pick this lock if you don’t open the door.”

Irritation cut through Jenny’s despair. Pulling herself up from the bed, she hurried across the room, yanking the door open. “What,” she began.

“You’re moping,” said Wesley, fixing her with an annoyingly assessing look.

“Am not,” said Jenny.

“Is this because Mr. Giles was in Los Angeles?” said Wesley.

“Mind your own fucking business,” said Jenny, remembered that she was supposed to be cheerfully celebrating Holtz’s neutralization, and added, “Also, I’m fine.”

“Jenny, Lorne said—”

“Lorne doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” said Jenny immediately.

“Lorne the empath demon doesn’t know what he’s talking about?” said Wesley skeptically.

“…yes.”

Wesley exhaled. Then he said, “I think you should at least know what Lorne told us.”

“I think you should mind your own business and stick to the stuff you know,” said Jenny coolly.

“Wesley, you are so bad at interventions,” came a voice, and Cordelia rounded the corner, giving Jenny a matter-of-fact stare. “Lorne says Giles is afraid of screwing things up,” she said. “He says it’s mostly Buffy that’s got Giles all worried, but it’s also you, ‘cause he showed up all unexpected and now he thinks he’s killed any chance of you-and-him. And I think you’re afraid youscrewed things up, which is dumb, ‘cause you could probably torch Giles’s car and he’d still wanna marry you.”

“You think Wesley is bad at interventions?” said Jenny shortly. “That’s the worst intervention I’ve ever heard. Leave me alone.” She pushed past Cordelia and Wesley, ignored the group crowded around Connor, grabbed her keys from the kitchen table, and hurried out of the apartment, no idea where she was headed.

Angel found her at the Hyperion, in one of the hotel rooms. “You know,” he said, sitting down next to her on the bed, “if you really wanted to be alone, you probably wouldn’t have headed back here.”

“I’m recognizing that now,” said Jenny, staring resolutely up at the ceiling.

“Is that, uh…” Angel trailed off. “Is that the go-ahead for us to talk about what’s bothering you?”

Jenny exhaled. Somehow, it was harder to lie to Angel. She’d spent too much time in Sunnydale doing exactly that. In Los Angeles, she’d tried to always be as above-board with him as possible, but she wasn’t sure how possible it was right now. “I think I’m…” She trailed off. “I think I made a mistake,” she said. “Leaving Sunnydale the way I did. And I think it’s too late to fix things without running the risk of hurting Rupert again.”

Angel was quiet. Then he said, “I don’t think Cordelia did the greatest job of explaining what Lorne told us. Can I try?”

Jenny scooted a little closer to him, letting her shoulder bump his. Then she nodded.

“Lorne said Giles loves you,” said Angel. Jenny felt her breath catch in her throat. “He said Giles’s song was for Buffy, but the whole time you and him were at Caritas, his eyes were for you. Which I think is his way of saying that…” He trailed off. “Jenny, you can’t keep people at arm’s length just because you don’t want them hurt,” he said. “You just end up hurting yourself. And them too, for that matter.”

Jenny swallowed, hard. “Rupert and I have that in common, I guess,” she said quietly. “But it’s not just—it’s not just that, Angel.” She crossed her arms against her chest, staring down at her lap. “I’m scared,” she said finally. “I’m scared of showing back up there and not being wanted. And I-I know it’s not his job, I know he never will, but…I want him to ask me to come back. To tell me that he—that he wants me in his life again.”

She felt Angel’s hand on her shoulder. “I know he’s not going to,” she said. “I know that’s not how this plays out. I told him—so long ago, I told him that I wasn’t coming back, and he’s the kind of guy who takes my words to heart. But I kept on thinking about…about Eyghon, and how he wouldn’t take no for an answer then, and how, how maybe him taking no for an answer now is because he doesn’t—” She stopped, pressing her lips together. She wouldn’t cry over this.

“He doesn’t love you,” Angel finished. “Not in the way you want him to.”

Jenny nodded.

“You want him to listen to you, though, don’t you?”

Jenny nodded again. “You see why I’m kinda fucked up about this,” she said ruefully.

“Just a little bit,” Angel agreed.

“Just a little bit,” Jenny echoed, and laughed wetly.

Angel gently squeezed her shoulder. “Sometimes you have to take the plunge,” he said. “Remember?”

“Yeah, well, this is a little different than jumping into an empty swimming pool full of broken glass,” said Jenny dryly.

“There she is,” said Angel, grinning. “Look, you’re—” His smile softened. “There aren’t a lot of people I’d trust to keep my son safe,” he said. “You know that, right?”

Jenny smiled slightly. “I’m aware,” she said.

"And Giles is smart enough to know a good thing when one shows up on his doorstep," said Angel. "It's definitely a risk, Jenny, but it's not as big a risk as you think.”

Jenny drove down to Sunnydale. She packed one suitcase of clothing for her and a cardboard box of gifts for the kids, and she pulled up in front of Buffy’s house. When she rang the doorbell, Dawn answered, then stepped aside with wide eyes, pointing wordlessly towards the kitchen.

Rupert was washing dishes, wearing a sweater Jenny remembered from years ago. He turned, and when he saw her, his face softened. “Jenny,” he said.

“Someone’s gotta bridge the gap, right?” said Jenny, and tried to smile. “It’s been a while.”

Rupert frowned. “Last we left things—”

“—I was an idiot,” Jenny finished. “Okay? Now, granted, you were too, but you were smart enough to start trying to fix things.” She hesitated. “I left because I thought I would hurt you by staying,” she said.

“I know,” said Rupert.

“I came back because I think I’m hurting myself by staying away,” said Jenny.

“I kn—what?” Rupert looked stunned. “Hurting—but—why on earth would—what?”

“I know we’re not in love,” said Jenny carefully, “but I think we still love each other. And I think I kinda want to…to maybe try and get to that in love point again. If you’re up for that.” She gave him a small, awkward smile. “Look, I’m not very good at—”

Rupert set down the dish towel. “Oh, I’d say you’re doing all right,” he said a bit shakily. He was starting to smile in a way Jenny hadn’t seen in…god, four years. At least. “I have missed you, you know.”

“I’ve missed you too,” said Jenny softly.

“It’s been…lonely.”

“I know,” said Jenny. “Me too.” She considered, then amended, “Well, not really, but…we were always on the same wavelength. I missed that.”

“Not always,” Rupert reminded her.

“No, always,” said Jenny, stepping forward. Much as she wanted to, she couldn’t quite bring herself to reach out to him. “Remember that faculty meeting, spring ’96? We wasted the entire time arguing just so Snyder couldn’t assign any of the teachers to chaperone senior prom?”

Rupert took her hands. “It might take us a while to get back to that kind of simpatico,” he said quietly. “If you’re up for that—”

“I am,” said Jenny. “You’re trying. I think I want to do that too.”

“Oh my god,” came a voice from the hallway. As Jenny and Rupert turned, Buffy stared incredulously at them both. “You two were kissing all over the place junior year,” she said, “and you’re restricting yourself to hand-holding after four years apart?”

“Buffy, it isn’t that simple,” said Rupert, looking a mixture of mildly annoyed and extremely embarrassed. “Jenny’s—she’s only just returned, and I should never want to pressure her into—that is, we need to get to know each other again, find out if we’re even compatible—”

And Jenny found that old, familiar, warmly amused feeling rising in her chest. She tugged on Rupert’s hands, and as he turned, she stood on tiptoe, kissing him very gently. Something slotted into place in that moment—something precious, and something she’d thought she’d lost.

“I don’t know what you’d do without me,” said Buffy with satisfaction, and Jenny heard her leave, but didn’t bother to look. She and Rupert were a little busy.

Angel brought Connor down to visit a few months later. “He missed you,” he said, which was pretty obviously a white lie on his part, because Connor was more excited about Dawn’s long, shiny hair than about seeing Jenny. But Connor was still pretty excited to see Jenny, so she didn’t feel too bad about it. “After all, I’m thinking I might have one of my own,” she informed Rupert later, “and that baby will definitely remember me. It’s a biological guarantee.”

Rupert smiled a little. Then he said, “I always rather liked the name Audrey.”

“Do not commandeer this process,” said Jenny. “I haven’t even decided if you’re going to be involved.”

“Yes, it’s a bit early in the relationship for that, isn’t it?” Rupert agreed. He frowned. “Or late, depending on how you look at it. Are we counting these four years as—”

“We’re counting starting now,” said Jenny, and draped her arms around his neck.

Rupert kissed her forehead. “I think I like that,” he said.

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E03 Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 563 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated! 

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

Rate the episode

84% of users rated the episode a 4 or 5 this week, compared to 64% last week. This episode had less action, but was full of key character moments that manga readers were excited to see animated.

So far it's my favourite since it follows the most the manga but with some bearable adjustemements. If the episodes will be like this from now on, I'll be completely satisfied and could get over all the changes in the first two episodes.

The adaptation is doing well, but of course manga readers(me included) about some bits being changed and rearranged. But on the other hand they might come me up with something unexpectedly good. I won't forgive them if they don't give shit machine tho.

It’s starting to feel more like the arc I love

It was great, I'm having trouble deciding which episode is the best of this season yet. I thought the second one was the best, but then I remember the premiere and now, once again, I am thinking about the 3rd one being the greatest. The quality this season is off the charts.

Compared to episode 2, episode 3 was quite uninteresting

I think it must have been boring and confusing for Anime-only's

This episode was appropriately paced for an episode full of flashbacks, and honestly I think it paid off to get the backstories of Erwin and Historia in one showing to avoid conflicting with the future action episodes.  I don't have much else to say- I can't really be critical because it was a pretty good episode, adaptation-wise.

Which of the following moments were your favorite?

Hange taking their anger out on the table and Levi walking in on it is the winner here! The closest runner ups were seeing Levi’s wanted poster and getting Erwin and Historia’s backstories. We all agree it was nice to see many of these things in color animation finally!

Hange's scene where she blames her table destruction on a cockroach? Totally relatable. And I loved that Levi kinda teased her for it.

I have been waiting for Erwin's back story for AGES and was not disappointed! Kidwin was as heartbreakingly adorable as expected (that nose!! The sad bby at the funeral!!)

I liked all the topics they addressed that had been previously skipped (Historia and Erwin’s pasts). Also, while the sequence of events have been changed, I’m looking forward to how they are going to pan this out.

Erwin has great ass.

Hange's tableflip scene was amazeballs, man I love her!!

Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit.

The conversation between Erwin and Pixis gave me thrills. I thought it was going to be boring, but it was very well shown.

My girl Hange's time to shine in this episode! I want her "BAAAKAAAA" as a ringtone asap

Who drew it better: WIT or Isayama?

51% of respondents thought the OG drew it best. Isayama can finally sleep at night. Funnily enough, the anime only respondents preferred WIT’s version!

Who has the best reaction to Historia’s backstory?

Sasha took the lead as she paused licking at her soup bowl to listen to Historia’s story. Connie was easily the next runner up with his dumbfounded expression. We weren’t surprised to see Springles win this one!

How cute was baby Historia?

The vast majority of respondents just wanna pinch those cute little cheeks (and probably take her home, treat her to some hot cocoa and love her properly).

And baby Historia was the cutest omg! That lil nose and her lil blush! I'm crying bittersweet tears here.

How could anyone possibly look down on and abuse such a precious little bean like baby Historia?? Alma's so pathetic…

Baby Historia is the cutest thing I have seen in anime. She is so adorable and sweet! I would love to hug her so much! She is just too cute! <3

Child Hisu is ADORKABLE

How cute was little Erwin?

While this is a tiny bit more spread out than Historia, the majority of respondents were also enamored with adorable kidwin and are ready to adopt him at any time (and probably give lots of hugs too!).

BABYWIN!!!!!!!!!

Young Erwin was def my fav bighead-bigbrows!

I love Erwin so muchhhh my precious baby is so cute and handsome at the same timeeeee I just want to hug him and never let anything bad happen to him againnnnn

The episode was dialogue heavy with a lot of character backstories and plot exposition. What type of episodes do you tend to prefer watching?

In general, respondents don’t mind if an episode has a lot of action or if it’s a bit slower with some good plot developments. What matters is that we keep moving forward and that it’s entertaining, right?

About episode type: Tense conversation ready to break into action at any second, like when Kenny and Levi were talking in the bar.

It was a nice change of pace after all the fights in the first 2 episodes but I'm looking forward to the action  coming back next episode

Did Flegel really stay in that alleyway the entire night?

We asked this mostly for fun and respondents didn’t disappoint. The majority believe that he did stay in the alleyway the entire night, but plenty of you had some fun commentary (and sass) to provide us all with some laughs:

Based on how the events at Erwin's went, I'd guess that Reeves was killed nearing dawn and it hasn't been that long.

During the night, he went to slay all of marley and came back in the morning, Flegel for president!

Oh crap, I didn't even notice that. Part of me wants to say maybe he left and came back, but that really doesn't make much sense if he's trying to not get caught. No doubt the Interior Squad would have surveyed the area a little before getting the body ready for a public reveal to frame Erwin.

He took one long leak

He went to get sour cream and came back

Slept in a trash-can then went for a morning stroll

insert Schroedinger's cat analogy

No clearly Annie came and rescued him

Somehow he knew Commander Handsome will be there, so yeah, he stayed. I would stay too <3

no, he crawled up the wall like a spider and slept on the rooftops dont worry

On a scale of 1-5, how distressed are you about Eren being tied, gagged and drugged?

Most respondents seemed unconcerned or indifferent to Eren’s current situation, but those who are distressed were pretty vocal about it:

PLEASE MAKE SURE THE POOR BOY GETS SOME WATER???  The little scene with his in-and-out of consciousness is very distressing to see!

I pray that Eren gets a happy ending; I feel SO stressed for him

Who has the best hat?

Connie’s sunhat took the lead! But we agree that all hats are good and that everyone was looking fab.

HAT HAT HAT I'm really hoping that from this point on, they will follow the manga more closely again, as I am not super impressed by the current shake-up in event order but most importantly HAT HAT HAT JEAN GOT HIS HAT.

The hats!!! The hats are so good!

Love his top hat but lost half his lines for it

JEAANNN'S HAAAT

How many flashbacks within flashbacks is too many?

Half of respondents appreciated the Inception reference and just want to be flashbacked into oblivion. Okay but seriously, there were some who got a bit confused by WIT’s use of flashbacks for some of these scenes. We hope you’re holding up okay during current manga chapters!

bit weird to slow it down this much when the first 2 episodes were so action packed, 2 flashbacks in one episode is a bit much if you ask me. the episode didnt give you any break or a few seconds to let the information sink in.

I was confused by flashbacks in flashbacks. I don't lke that type of stuff and I got feeling that they were traveling in time :/

How do you feel about the rearrangement of events after this episode?

45% are still tentative and not ready to judge the situation just yet. However, a good 37% combined are either content or are already finding they like the changes better. It seems the optimism is starting to improve overall!

Dont remember much of the order of events in this arc, as long as it all makes sense its fine. I trust Isayamas judgment

I prefer the manga’s order, but I am content, BUT I’m still waiting for more episodes to make a final judgement, BUT  I’m still very confused with where they are going with this.

I want to slap the whole WIT Studios and Yams but u know im okay for now.

Same story, different medium. Pretty neutral, happy I don’t know word for word what’s going to happen.

So I was very very nervous about the changes and pacing, but them taking the time to slow down and let the emotional weight of Historia and Erwin's backstories sink in is just what I needed to calm down a bit. I still have some preferences with the manga, but I'm sated to the point of watching and waiting without making too much of a fuss.

Some changes do make the action flow smoother, but im not happy that the studio decided to cut out Reeves-Levi wall bonding and L's squad 2.0's doubts on killing people

Rearrangement? Who cares? Erwin on graveyard was pure sex how was I supposed to thino about rearrangments???

I think the anime is doing a good job restructuring the arc, and is preserving its internal consistency quite well. But I am upset about some of the things that got removed, so I don't quite like the anime's retelling.

The rearrangement was understandable, however until I can look over the whole arc, I wouldn't be able to give a fair opinion on the execution of this season.

How do you feel about Historia’s absence when the Survey Corps proposed she needs to be queen?

As with the previous question, nearly half of voters are not yet ready to judge how the changes will affect the arc overall. 35% of you guys think it was a bad choice on WIT’s part. It’s probably safe to say we’re all on our toes wondering how WIT is going to handle this plot development as they move forward!

I hope we can still see the Levi smiling moment at the end of this arc despite the absence of these scenes.

I prefer Rod being the one to push the idea of her royalty into her, and I still think we'll get a moment regarding Levi's will to accept a different kind of hell and pushing Historia to make a choice in some other way later.

It didn't have a huge significance to the plot but it gave both Historia and Levi some good characterisation.

I feel a mixture of "I need more episodes" and "It was a poor choice".

Had to be done for an action packed start the season but I'm disappointed as it is an important scene for Levi's development

It was a poor choice that broke an important chain of events, it was Levi who had to force Historia.

Ralph called Hange a devil after they were locked up. Was this good foreshadowing to current manga events?

71% of respondents believed that this was good foreshadowing! We suppose one nice part of the anime being as behind from the manga as it is, is that we can recall these older moments that manage to have thematic relevance to current events.

I think Hange being called a devil was amazing foreshadowing, but also in a sense that, by overthrowing the current system, they are unwittingly putting themselves in the exact same position as the old government and its cronies were in with almost exactly the same problems and solutions available to them, the poor things just don't see it yet.

After this week, do you believe future episodes are now going to be more faithful to the original chapters?

50% of voters are confident that WIT is mostly headed back toward the linear timeline of the manga, with maybe small bits and pieces shuffled or omitted. 28% aren’t feeling as optimistic about it, however. But 18% are confident we’re back onto the strict manga timeline.

I'll have to wait and see all the episodes. No point trying to guess, only to be disappointed. Isayama authorised the changes, let's see what his new vision of these chapters!

I believe they will be faithful more than just "a little bit."  It seems the PV is a good indicator of that.  The Historia rising up to be queen is definitely going to be handled differently and there is no way around that.  But I'm ready, Wit!

im still trying to grasp what they trying to do of the pacing and the moments and i still hope the upcoming eps will make sense of all that cuts and flashbacks.

They'll have to do something different with Levi and Historia's 'discussion' about her becoming queen. I wonder if it will happen later, and someone else will do Reeve's line about him being a scary but good man? It would be interesting if someone like Mikasa does it.

Leaked episode titles PROVE they are gonna butcher up the cave scene

Maybe yes, maybe not. It all depends on Isayama and WIT, so let us wait for episode 41, shall we?

Which scene from the PV are you most looking forward to this week?

The largest group are most looking forward to Jean testing whether or not they can trust Marlowe and Hitch (please give us the stick WIT!). The close runner up is Levi interrogating the MP with the nice mustache and a case of foot-in-mouth. Literally.

I'm totally excited to see Marlowe and Hitch!

Central MP HQ next week?!?! Hoping for some new action scenes.

GIVE ME HITCH AND MARLO RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW

everyone in the PV is hot (yes pulverized erwin is still included)

Which group of characters are you favorite?

“All of them” wins as the good neutral vote.

I never know how to answer the which group is your favorite question because my fav is 104th + Annie (sans RB). So I'm always answering sans RBA which is unfair to Annie.

Where you do primarily discuss the series?

Additional thoughts on the episode?

A little bit better, but not enough. But overall I'm satisfied and I enjoyed it.

All in all, a very nicely done episode. I like how the story is coming together, all the different elements in the manga are there, just in a different order. I had high hopes for this season and so far I am not disappointed!

At this point I have absolutely NO clue where they are, or what's going on. The manga was less confusing for me.

Damn cockroaches, always ruining Hange's day.

Earlier I was really salty about Levi having to hold Mikasa back everytime it was mentioned that Eren was kidnapped, but later I noticed that instead of Mikasa being cool with it immediately like she was in her manga, in the anime they are slowing her development down to make it more realistic and believable(Levi had to physically restrain her the first time around, while the second time he just had to talk her down) so I still have faith it wit. I am still a little angry that the "That wasn't how I raised him." scene was cut though. It was an important Mikasa-Armin moment. But oh well! At least we got to see Jean in his glorious fedora!

Felt well-paced, I do like that they are tweeking things to make the anime feel more smooth.

Hanji looked like a snack throughout this episode shes so hot oh my god I’m so gay

Baby Erwin and Historia are wonderful, and I really like that they put two very different parent/child relationships on display here. Erwin's devotion to his father's theories, and the closeness to their relationship paralleled the neglegence Alma showed towards Historia - and in the end, the parents meet the same fate, offed by the Interior Squad."

Both Historia and Erwin's backstories needed stronger direction. Also, just a nitpick, but the soundtrack they used when Sannes told Hange "good luck" was an extremely weird choice. It was a very grim and ominous scene yet the music in the background didn't reflect that.

Pixis' lack of opposition was annoying. It seemed like he was just there so that Erwin had someone to talk about his backstory to. In the manga his red-line of no blood being spilled and his willingness to stay with the nobility if they had unknown but good reasons for their behaviour increased the stakes a lot.

I love the consistent tension buildup and the music choices that just compliment it. Sawano has been on a roll with the new tunes, and the way old ones have been used has been fantastic. Attack on D for Erwin's flashback is a choice I didn't consider, but I'll be damned if that wasn't a great call.

I just want to protect smol Historia and precious little Kidwin

Loving the development for Erwin. People need to realize that he isn't some cold hearted badass. He has feelings too ya know!

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you back on Monday! 

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Canadian Girl

Chapter Fourteen

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC  | Word Count: 5906 Warnings: Discussion of past abusive relationship, violence, swearing, stereotyping of Canadians (I’m allowed, I am one)

It was the last day of CFR. Though they’d seen more of rodeo than any one of them had ever wanted to, it had also been more fun than expected.

Steve had stuck close to Kennedy, watchful for Carl, but the man had kept his distance.

With the way the three of them scowled at him anytime Kennedy’s ex came around, it didn’t surprise Bucky none. Still, something about the lingering glares he set on Kennedy gave Bucky a bad feeling. He made sure when Steve wasn’t with her, he was.

The area behind the chutes was either brimming with energy and activity or completely laid back. Bucky had been asked more than once if he was riding as he perpetually wore his glove, but he would just smile and shrug, make up an excuse about having suffered a burn which left it overly sensitive, hence the covering.

Everyone would just smile and nod, understanding in their eyes. A few times someone would lift a shirttail or pull up a pant leg to show their own nasty wounds where they’re gotten raked or gored by a bull. By the end of the week, Bucky had decided the cowboys were either bat crap crazy, or some tough sons of bitches. Maybe a bit of both.

It was surprisingly easy to blend in, too. He’d denied being that Bucky a few times, had Nat call him James a few more, and soon the rest of the crews and cowboys behind the chutes got into the habit of denying it for him when new people would ask.

The same went for Steve as Kennedy religiously called him Steven. People brushed it all off as coincidence because, really, why in the world would three Avengers be wandering around at the Canadian Finals Rodeo?

Now, the last day, Jonas’s bull Cyclone was up to be ridden. The big Brahma was an ornery fuck, and Kennedy’s dad had asked if he’d lend a hand. They’d formed a wary truce, he and that asshole bull.

Kennedy, too, was up on the chutes a little farther down.

Rank ass Cyclone was going to be the first bull out, but the broncs weren’t quite done yet.

She was helping Matt deal with one who wanted to rear up and not turn out of the gate. Apparently, she and the bronc had an understanding which involved carrots for good behaviour or some such nonsense. Whatever it was, it was working.

Steve and Nat were on the ground watching but stayed back out of the way. Near Cap’s feet was a large black canvas bag, round, used to haul lariats, but low and behold if it didn’t perfectly fit Cap’s shield.

Kennedy had found it for him at the Expo which was also on and picked it up.  

It had made Bucky chuckle, but Steve always felt better if he had his circle of protection with him. And no one said a damn thing about a guy wandering around packing something like that.

Kennedy was just so damn perfect for him. She wasn’t some tough warrior princess. She was girl next door sweet and suited Cap.

The man was a protector. He needed a woman who needed that from him.

When the bull caused a ruckus, he reached into the chute, gave a horn a hard jerk and glared into that angry dark eye. “Cut it out.”

Glancing back towards Matt and Kenny, he watched her place a calm hand on the broncs nose as the rider settled.

A rapid nod from the rider and the gate swung open.

The Doc gave the horse’s head a shove.

Finally, the bronc broke out to buck and jump and kick wildly. Looked like carrots were on the menu tonight.

Eight seconds went by, and the pickup men ran up alongside the rider who used one to slide to the ground where he threw his hat in the air, waving to the cheering crowd.

Beside him, Bucky heard one of the old-timers murmur about the best ride of the night. Sure enough, he’d picked up top marks.

The more clanging metal had him looking down the chutes. The inner dividers were opening to allow the bulls to load their way into the individual pens.

He looked back at Cyclone who just stood there. “Well?”

The bull snorted.

Bucky reached inside, jerking on that horn again, encouraging Cyclone to move along.

He banged his horns into the metal of the pen and charged down the chutes.

“Ornery bastard,” he muttered. Sauntering along the walkway, Bucky made his way towards Kennedy, watching as Matt headed down the stairs and away towards the pens to check on the bronc while the big Brahma ended up in the pen nearest the Doc and proceeded to throw himself around.

Rolling his eyes, Bucky growled deeply, “Don’t make me punch your nasty ass.”

***

Chuckling, Kennedy grinned up at Bucky. “I’m not sure he understands your threats.”

“He understands just fine,” Bucky snarled at the bull. “Best move out of the way, Doc.” Placing his hand on her back, he urged her toward the stairs.

She pouted a little. “Aw, I never get to watch from up here.” Not the bulls, anyway. “Just him? Cyclone’s first and I really want to watch him earn those points that will push him to the top of the leaderboard!” She just knew this was the year one of her dad’s bulls would take the top spot. Nudging Bucky with her elbow, she grinned up at him and whispered, “I’m so glad you didn’t punch him.”

“After Steve and Aces? I know better.” Leaning down near her ear he whispered, “Besides if I hit him with this, I’d likely kill the fucker.”

She patted his arm, the metal one and glanced towards Steven.

He was grinning at her and motioned her to come down.

She held up a finger and winked before moving out of the way of the cowboys wanting to get ready, to stand along the rail with a few other watchers.

The pens gave way to dirt and the exit gate, the railing only shin high, and she leaned out carefully to see the action.

The rider getting up on Cyclone was not someone she was familiar with, but the men standing with her seemed to like his chances. Hand on the rail, Kennedy peered past the men, watching intently as the rider tucked his chin, gave a nod, and the chute came open. Lifting her hands to her lips, she cheered with the rest, excited to see Cyclone pulling out all the stops as he bucked and spun.

So, when the blow came to the back of her head, knocking her forward and over the rail into the path of the charging bull, she never saw it coming.

***

Intent on the rider and the bull, Bucky didn’t see it happen, only the gasping cry of distress which had him turning to look. The crumpled form of Kennedy, the red of her shirt and white of her hat unmistakable, was sprawled out in the dirt feet from where Cyclone had just thrown his rider off.

When the bull turned to her, there was no hesitation.

Bucky leapt the rail the same time Steve did, the red and blue of Cap’s shield gleaming beneath the overhead lights.

***

“Love looks good on you, Cap,” Nat smirked, giving Steve a nudge with her elbow.

Steve grinned down at her. “Thanks, Nat. She makes me happy.”

“I’d have to be blind and deaf not to notice. The two of you light each other up. She’s good for you. So adorably girl next door. It’s no wonder you gush when you talk about her,” she teased, laughing as his cheeks reddened. “And then you blush when you realize you’re gushing.” She patted his arm.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he gave a sheepish shrug. “I hope I’m good for her, too.”

“Oh, you are. That whole mess with Carl… Steve.” She shook her head.

“Kennedy tell you much?”

“Enough.”

The hard eyes and cold voice was all he needed to see. “He hurt her?”

“Physically? Only once.”

Grinding his teeth together, Steve looked up to where Kennedy was leaning over the rail. The shape of her ass in those tight fitting wranglers momentarily distracted him. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

He looked down to Nat. “You’re good for her too, you know.”

She shook her head. “I think it’s Kenny. She’s just good for all-” she gasped, grabbing for Steve’s arm.

His head whipped up in time to see Carl’s fist connect with the back of Kennedy’s head, sending his girl straight over the rail into the path of the charging Brahma. “Natasha!”

“On it!” she took off after Carl, the man running along the chutes.

Kicking his shield up, bag and all, Steve ripped it free as he vaulted the railing, landing in front of Kennedy. Bracing, he grunted against the force when Cyclone’s horns skidded off his shield with a resounding clang.

***

He darted and weaved between people, knocking cowboys out of his way. Young or old it didn’t matter. Carl was determined to get away, but Natasha was far more determined to catch him.

Tired of dodging people, she leapt to the metal rails of the chutes, balancing easily as she ran along above the bulls. She didn’t think about what would happen if she missed a step.

Reaching the end, she caught the eyes of Eric, a sweet, shy cowboy she’d flirted with all week. It hadn’t gone beyond a flirtation.

He was just too sweet for her.

She’d eat him alive, but he was gaping at her, swinging a rope lazily against his hip. Holding up her hand, she hollered, “Eric! Rope!”

He tossed it to her as she raced by.

Under no illusion she could actually rope the fucker, Nat simply threw the loop, so it wrapped around his ankles, tripping him up.

It was enough as Carl stumbled into the underside of the stands.

When he righted himself, Natasha was there. “Oh you made a big fucking mistake,” she snarled.  She ducked the jab he threw at her, sidestepped the second one, reached out and slammed her fist into his jaw.

It snapped his head back.

Smiling her man-eating grin, she followed through a knee to the groin, a fist to the gut, an elbow jaw. She punched him hard enough to knock a few teeth loose. A second solid kick straight to the balls had him collapsing to the ground.

Following him down, Nat ground his face into the dirty concrete. Over his groaning, she snarled, “Be thankful it was me he sent after you. Steve would have broken you in half, but Bucky? He would have killed you. You’d best pray Kennedy isn’t badly hurt, or I guarantee you won’t live through the night.” She laughed softly when he whimpered in pain. “If the Winter Soldier doesn’t come for you… I will,” she hissed menacingly in his ear.

He went limp beneath her hold.

Snorting at his lack of resistance, Natasha dragged the rope toward them.

“You need a hand there… uh… ma'am?” Eric asked, hat in hand.

“Calf roper, right?”

He nodded.

Natasha smiled wickedly. “Want to show me the proper way to hogtie something?” She held out the rope.

***

Steve heaved against Cyclone as the bull tried to gore him.

Then, Bucky was there, plowing into the shoulder of the bull with enough force to send them both sideways. Wrapping his arm around the bull’s neck, he hollered at Steve. “Get her outta here!”

Cyclone’s horn caught his sleeve as the bull bellowed and bucked, ripping it open and skidding over the plates, lifting him off his feet.

When he dropped back to the dirt, Bucky dug in his heels, pushing the angry bull farther into the arena. Holding on tight, trying not to injure the nasty thing unless he had to, Bucky forced him away step by step.

The whole family had high hopes for the bull, but if it came down to Cyclone or Kennedy, he wouldn’t hesitate to break the fucker’s neck.

***

Steve knelt beside Kennedy. “C’mon, sweetheart. I need you to open your eyes,” he begged as his hand went to the back of her head. His palm came away bloody.

“Steve!” Matt landed beside him.

“Don’t move her! I don’t know how badly she’s hurt,” Steve warned.

“I’ll watch her. Help, Bucky! You got to get Cyclone out of here!”

He turned in time to see his friend fly through the air. Dirt sprayed up like a wave as Bucky plowed through it. Rolling, he dug his metal hand into the ground bringing himself to a stop.

Cyclone was in full charge as Steve jolted up.

Running flat out, he slammed shield-first into the bull’s shoulder, knocking Cyclone onto his side.

The bull bellowed, anger in the sound when he thrashed his way back to his feet.

“C’mon you ornery fuck!” Bucky snarled, swinging open the out gate.

Steve chucked his shield at Bucky. “Hold that will ya?”

Snatching it out of midair, Bucky shook his head. “That ain’t no cutting horse!”

“Guess I’d best be quick then!”

Cyclone was already headed for him, so Steve reached out and gave the rank bull a solid smack on the nose as he ran toward Bucky. The bull was out for blood, snorting, grunting, reminding him of a cartoon he’d once seen of a character called Bugs Bunny. It gave him the insane desire to smack the Brahma again and say stop steaming up my tail.

However, he was more inclined to get the bull away from Kennedy, out of the arena, and as far as he could from the medical team working on her.

As he raced through the gate, he grabbed Bucky’s outstretched arm. A sharp jerk sent him swinging up in the air, Cyclone’s horns just grazing the back of his shirt as he flipped over the back of the bull. Darting to the side, the gate clanged shut behind him.

His hat and glasses had come off not long after he’d landed in the arena, as had Bucky’s along with a good chunk of Buck’s left sleeve. The deathly quiet of the place was suddenly filled with the screaming, cheering cry of ten thousand people. The chant of Avengers echoed, making him nearly deaf, but as Bucky handed back his shield, Steve only had eyes for Kennedy.

She was seated beside Matt, holding her head.

He ran straight for her, sliding to a stop on his knees, his shield falling to the ground as he made to cup her face. “Kennedy?” he mouthed the word for he knew she wouldn’t hear him over the screaming.

She nodded slowly, pain present in her eyes.

Dragging her into his arms, he buried his face against her throat. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been so scared before. Shaking slightly, he realized how close he’d come to losing her.

A hand landed on his shoulder.

Looking up reluctantly, he noticed the medics motioning him to let her go. Not hardly. Scooping her up, he held her close, stomped on his shield to have it sliding back up his arm, and motioned for them to lead the way.

With Bucky helping clear a path, they made it back to where the ambulance and paramedics were waiting.

“Steven, I’m alright,” Kennedy said once the noise was drowned out some. The pain on her face said otherwise.

“You took a blow to the head, doll. You’re going to get checked out.” He placed her on the gurney. Taking her hand, he stepped back only enough to stay out of the EMT’s way.

At her feet, Bucky tapped the toe of her boot. “Jeez, doll face. If you wanted to get in on the action, there were better ways to do it.”

“Shut it, Barnes,” she quipped, flinching when the medic flashed a light in her eyes.

“Kenny!” Jonas bellowed, shoving his way forward.

“I’m alright, dad.”

“Oh, thank Jesus!” He sagged against Bucky. “If anything had happened to you, little girl…”

She glanced up at him, and Steve motioned Jonas to her side, letting go of her hand so her father could take his place.

Standing with Buck, he watched as the man bent, kissing the forehead of his daughter.

“I’m really okay, dad. Promise.”

“I’d a put a bullet in Cyclone’s head myself if he’d hurt you.” Kissing her cheek, Jonas turned to the two of them with wet eyes. “I can’t ever…” he shook his head.

“Sir, we’re going to need to take Ms. Jones now. University Hospital,” the younger of the two medics said.

“She’s Doctor Jones, and he’s going with you.” Jonas pointed at Steve.

“Sir,” the medic held up his hand.

Steve, gratitude evident, nodded to Jonas before turning on the medic. “Son, don’t even start. Where she goes, I go.” Over his shoulder, he called out, “Buck! See if you can find Nat. She went after him.”

“Roger that, Cap.”

“And call Maria. Someone’s going to need to spin this fast. Otherwise, it’ll do that thing where it catches the flu.” Everyone looked at him in confusion.

Kennedy snorted out a laugh only to groan in pain. “He means it’ll go viral!”

Flushing, Steve shook his head. “Yeah, that,” he grumbled as everyone snickered. Linking his fingers with Kennedy’s, he climbed in the back of the ambulance. Least she understood him.

***

Steve sat slouched in the relatively comfortable chair in Kennedy’s hospital room watching her sleep. They’d decided to keep her overnight for observation.

Whether it was because she truly needed it, or the fact of him being who he was and they were catering to him, he didn’t know or care. All he knew was when they’d tried to tell him visiting hours were over, he’d simply turned around, walked across the room, and sat at her bedside.

He wasn’t going anywhere.

The second surprise had been when he’d told the nurse whatever charges accrued would be covered by Stark Enterprises, and she’d laughed.

This was Canada, she’d said. As Kennedy was a Canadian citizen, her healthcare was free.

Stunned, he could on stare at her. What would these people think up next?

Buck and Nat, along with Jonas and Matt, had been by earlier. Buck had been thoughtful enough to swing by the hotel and grab his stuff, knowing he wasn’t going to be leaving. Kennedy had spoken with her mother via phone, and he’d dealt with the host of incredibly polite policemen.

The Edmonton police had happily secured the floor, not because he was concerned about Carl, Natasha had caught that idiot only moments after he’d fled, apparently hogtying the bastard with a rope tossed to her by a cowboy she’d flirted with all week. No, the cops were there to keep the reporters at bay.

Maria had flown in, bitched about the cold, and did what she did best. She’d spun the story.

It was now public knowledge Kennedy was his girl, and he’d been on leave to meet and spend time with her family. Their coming to CFR had been simply to help out Jonas, nothing more, and the impromptu showdown with the bull had been due to the unfortunate jealousy of Kennedy’s ex who’d taken it upon himself to try and hurt her out of spite, unaware of just who her friends were.

He’d had to talk Bucky out of killing Carl. Twice. His friend was out for blood. Both of them knew if Bucky really wanted to, Carl would be dead, and no one would ever be the wiser as to who had done it. The Winter Soldier was a sniper, first and foremost, and Bucky had access to some serious weapons.

But it wouldn’t be what Kennedy wanted. Jail for the asshole, yes. She didn’t want any more blood on her hands. Even if the shedding of it would be by another’s, she would still feel guilt over Carl’s demise.

A whimper broke him from his musings.

Looking up, he watched her fists clench.

Her brows furrowed. Her head thrashed. “No…” she moaned, and he was on his feet.

“Kennedy, baby. Wake up, sweetheart,” he coaxed her gently, stroking her cheek.

Her eyes snapped open, and she groaned softly. “Steven?”

“Yeah, doll. I’m here.”

Anguish filled her eyes. “Steven…”

He knew she’d been dreaming about Hydra. “It’s okay, love. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

She scooted over, looking at him imploringly.

“Dollface?”

“Please, Steven?” she pulled the thin sheets away.

He glanced at the space behind her.

Her IV was in her other arm, so there was little chance of him causing issues with it, and, honestly, he wanted to hold her.

Toeing off his boots, he climbed in behind her, tucking his knees up in the space created, while wrapping his arm around her torso. Sliding his other arm beneath her pillow, he kissed the crown of her head. “Go back to sleep, Kennedy.”

She nodded slowly, sighing and relaxing. “You saved me tonight. Guess that means we’re even.”

He hummed, content. “Only fair. Besides, couldn’t let some rank ol’ bull beat on my girl.”

“Love you, Steven,” she sighed softly, drifting on exhaustion and the drugs they’d given her to help with the headache.

“I love you too, Kennedy,” he whispered against her hair.

When the nurse came in to check on them in the dimly lit room, she sighed happily, uncaring if Captain Rogers was breaking hospital rules by being in Dr. Jones’ bed.

It was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen.

Walking quietly away, she gave a giddy grin. It seemed Captain America was head over heels for a Canadian girl. How crazy was that?

***

Waking early the next morning, Steve gritted his teeth together. He was getting really unhappy with finding himself alone in bed. Usually, he woke to find his arms wrapped over her, his head on her abdomen, his leg thrown over hers. But a couple of times now, he’d woken to an empty bed.

She’d left his side, and he hadn’t noticed.

It frustrated and annoyed him. At least this time he could hear the shower running in the adjoining bathroom. He wouldn’t have to go hunt her down.

Climbing from the hospital bed, he stretched the kinks from his muscles as he walked toward the door, grabbing up his bag on the way by. Finding the bathroom unlocked, he walked in silently to see her standing with her back to the door beneath the spray.

Shutting the door just as quietly, he set down his stuff, stripped off his clothes and stepped in behind her. When he took her by the waist she jumped so hard, he had to grab her rather firmly to keep her from falling in the shower. “Easy, doll. It’s just me.”

“You scared the crap out of me, Steven!” she barked, wiping the water out of her eyes.

Pulling her back into his chest, he rumbled a chuckle, loving the way her wet skin felt against his. “Sorry.”

She laughed. “Now you sound Canadian.”

Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, he licked at the water on her skin. “You cleared to be up, Kennedy?”

“Doctor, Steven. I cleared myself.” She glanced at him over her shoulder.

Humming softly, he murmured against her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist, “How do you keep sneaking out of bed without waking me?”

All the colour drained from her face.

“Kennedy?” he asked, feeling the tremor race through her body.

Her head dropped, face turning away.

He gritted his teeth together. Before she could stop him, he turned her to face him, gripping her tightly. “I think it’s time you told me everything about Carl,” he stated.

“Steven, please, I don’t-”

He pressed a finger to her lips. “I love you, Kennedy, but when things he did in the past cause you to sneak out of my bed in the morning, I think I have a right to know how bad it got.”

When her eyes closed, pain washing across her face, he almost regretted asking. Instead of backing down, he picked up the bottle labelled shampoo and poured out a generous handful which he slowly worked into her hair.

It turned out Carl hadn’t just punched Kennedy. He’d had a piece of chain from a lead shank wrapped around his fist. It was why she went down so hard and how he’d managed to actually make her bleed.

So he massaged gently, getting the blood out, careful of the stitches they’d put in her scalp. “Talk to me, doll face.”

Sighing, Kennedy set her hands on his ribs. “I was only in Uni about two months when I first met Carl. I’d turned seventeen by then, was focused on learning and staying tops in all my classes. He was in a few of them, and when, suddenly, he started paying me attention I was… flattered. Still, I had a heavy workload, wasn’t looking for a relationship, but he was persistent. Flowers, gifts, dinners out. I fell for it like a naive fool, believed him when he told me how much he admired me, how impressed he was by my dedication. It only took six weeks for him to convince me to give up my dorm and move in with him. Six more for him to alienate me from my friends, and another three to have me closing out my family.” She trembled a second time.

Reaching past her, Steve made the water a little warmer. “Tilt your head back, baby,” he said softly, rinsing the soap from her hair when she did. “What happened next?”

“It started with little things. I’d break a glass, and he’d call me clumsy, tell me to use plastic because I couldn’t be trusted with nice things. Bang my hip on the counter because our apartment was tiny, get told if I weren’t so fat I would fit better. Stopped eating after that, dropped weight, was still chunky. Initiate… initiate sex… be called a whore… get talked to like one…” she whispered, voice fading.

“Kennedy,” Steve made his voice stay calm, perfectly level, even though he was seething on the inside as he reached for the conditioner. “Did he ever rape you?”

“I…” Her hands came off his ribs, fell to her sides.

Steve collected them and brought them to his chest, pressed them to his heart, held them there until he was sure they would stay put. Picking up the conditioner again, he started the process of her hair a second time. “Tell me,” he encouraged her quietly.

“It took a long time. Years of snide comments and mental games, mixed in with gifts and praise, to get to the point where I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I honestly don’t know how I managed to cram all my course into five years, finish everything early, and graduate with top marks. I think I knew subconsciously graduating early was the only way to escape him after he alienated me from everyone. I got good at getting up without making noise. I did it to study, do my papers and things. He would get… angry if I woke him. Now it’s just a… a habit. I don’t even think about it anymore.”

He tilted her chin up and back so he could rinse her hair a second time. “What finally made you leave?”

Her eyes slammed closed, hands becoming fists over his heart. “I told him I was going home after graduation. I hadn’t seen my family more than a handful of times in five years. I was going home for the summer.” Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him. “It was the one, and only time he hit me.”

“Kennedy.” He took her by the shoulders.

“You have to understand, Steven, there were a lot of threats, waving belts, smacks with newspapers or magazines, degrading things, but he’d never actually raised a hand to me before. Everything was because I deserved it, that’s what he’d say. I deserved it. I was being punished, reprimanded for being stupid. If I weren’t so stupid, he wouldn’t have to do these things. But that time… I never even saw it coming.” She breathed out, inhaled hard and continued, “He called me stupid, he always called me stupid. Told me I was his to do with as he pleased. His whore, his piece of ass, and I wasn’t going anywhere. Then, he took the only thing I was good for, telling me the entire time that I was fat, ugly, a horrible lay, and no one would ever love me. He was the only one who would ever want me.”

Horror filled him, rage soon burned that to ash, but the tears which fell down Kennedy’s face kept him right where he was. “Baby,” he whispered, gently cupping her face.

Her hands moved to his wrists. “I let him think he’d cowed me, stayed meek and quiet. I went to graduation three days later with the best makeup job of my life, walked across the stage, received my diploma, and disappeared. I got on a bus, sent Carl a text message saying it was over, and if he ever came after me I would have him arrested for assault. Two weeks later I showed up at home, knowing if they saw the bruise on my face no one would stop the boys and dad from killing Carl. I couldn’t do that to them, not when it was my mistake. That was five years ago.” Her breath hitched on a sob.

Drawing her in, Steve wrapped her up tight in his arms, holding her as she shook and cried. He’d never wanted to kill someone as badly as he wanted to kill the asshole who’d done this to his sweet Kennedy. “You did so good, sweetheart, getting away from him. So good. I’m so proud of you,” he murmured into her hair.

“I let do that to me. I let him pick me apart. I let him break me, Steven,” she whimpered.

“No, baby, you didn’t. You know better. He preyed on you because you’re sweet and kind and he thought he could. But you’re not broken. Someone broken wouldn’t have had the courage you did to walk away from everything and get on the bus. You, Kennedy Marie Jones, are the most amazing, inspiring woman I’ve ever met.” Kissing her on the forehead, he turned the water off, drew her from the shower and wrapped her in a towel.

“I never want to be that person again. The one who felt small and useless. Standing before him in the hallway at the Roadhouse was the first time in nearly seven years I didn’t feel like that girl.” Clutching the towel with one hand, she reached her other hand out, laid it against his cheek. “You did that.”

When he made to protest, she placed her fingers on his lips. “It’s because of you, how you make me feel about myself, how you look at me, the way you love me. I grabbed ahold of a piece of Cap’s confidence that night and told him he was nothing. I could do that… because of you, Steven.”

Wet emeralds gleamed up at him.

Steve was done, so completely and entirely hers, he felt it right to the bones. Right then and there, he vowed to himself someday he was going to marry this woman. “You, Kennedy, are a miracle.” Gently he took her face between his palms and kissed her with all the love he could muster.

She choked on another soft sob, before letting go of her towel to wrap both arms around his neck. “Nat knows a little, but only you and… and mom know everything.”

Holding her close, he felt the rage roar to life inside him. “S’okay, doll face. He’s never gonna hurt you again. No one’s ever going to hurt you again.”

“Can we go home?” she asked softly. “Back to New York, home? I miss my lab. People don’t try to kill me in my lab.”

He could tell she was trying to make a joke. It fell a little flat, but he chuckled anyway. “Yah, love. We can go home.” Kissing the crown of her head, he let her go long enough to dry off and put his jeans back on. They were his regular, more relaxed fit, but he noted her eyes still drifted down to linger on his backside. Turning back to her, he could see the headache brewing, both from the knock to the head and the emotionally draining moment she’d just had. “It’s still early, doll. Let’s put you back to bed for a while, yeah?”

When she didn’t even put up a token protest, he knew her head hurt more than she was letting on. The hospital gown, though, made her look so frail, so sickly, he couldn’t stand it, and dug through his bag for the brown, blue, and white checked button-up shirt he often wore. The cotton was soft, a little thin from numerous washings, but when he wrapped her up in it, it fell well below mid-thigh, a perfectly acceptable nightdress. Rolling up the sleeves, he pressed a gentle kiss to the palm of each of her hands.

Her smile was soft but tired, and her skin was pale.

Steve picked her off her feet, walking out into the room with his best girl, taking her back to the bed they’d shared. The silence of the room remained undisturbed, a private one what with his name attached to her own, a perk he was happy to accept. Laying her gently down, he brushed the damp hair from her face. “Sleep, baby. I’ll be right here with you.”

She nodded, her eyes already drifting shut.

Returning to the washroom, he tugged on a shirt before digging his phone from his pocket to call Maria. “Yeah,” he said, as she asked questions. “Doc’s going to be fine. Listen, you bring my suit?” Another round of questions had him gritting his teeth. “Yes or no, Agent Hill.” A slow smile broke upon his lips. “Good. Bring it with you. Come now.” He hung up before she could ask any more questions.

Again he brought the phone to his ear. “Buck?”

“Steve? Is it Kenny?” he asked, concern filling his voice.

“In a way. Suit up.” He’d a called Nat in too, but she’d chosen to stay with Jonas and Matt.

“Steve?”

“I need to give a statement to the police.”

“Thought you were going to do that today at the hospital.”

“Plans changed,” he growled. “We’re paying Carl a visit.”

There was a beat of silence before he asked, “Do I need an untraceable weapon?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice contained a deadly growl.

Grinding his teeth together, Steve spat out, “He hurt her, Buck. He… he…” the words tasted foul as he spat them out, “forced her! It’s the reason why she ran.”

Something shattered in the background. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

The line went dead, and Steve forced his hand to unclench from around his phone before he busted it.

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