#He has spent time wondering what drives someone to kill

[writingonleaves]

don't wanna scrape you off the pavement (i can't be your savior) - jack hughes

pairing: jack hughes x original female character (reckless driving au)

warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, hopeful ending (bc its me), possibly inaccurate dynamics of the 2020 - 2024 umich hockey squads but i tried, some biphobia (not from any main characters), an awful lot of talking about michigan for someone who’s never been there (the college or the state)

inspired by + title: "reckless driving" by lizzy mcalpine and ben kessler

word count: 23.7k

author's note: after about 7 months in the making, it’s Finally here lol. this piece means a lot to me, and not only because it took so long. a labor of love, if you will. i'm very proud of it, so i sincerely hope you all enjoy it as much as i loved writing it! please do let me know your thoughts <3 takes place the summer of 2024

~*~*~

day one - amelie

Amelie Fishel has a love-hate relationship with the state of Michigan. 

She loves it enough that she stayed in the state she was born and raised in for college. But even she knew she would’ve been an idiot if she denied the offer four years ago when University of Michigan offered her an academic scholarship that ended up covering her full tuition. She enjoyed her time at college enough, making a smattering of friends that she really does want to keep in contact with for the rest of her life and developing a solid foundation academically with various experiences that will hopefully help her out to get her dream job, which is on the horizon.

It’s a dream job because it falls in line with what she enjoys doing. But it’s also a dream job because it’s taking her the fuck out of this state. That’s the only request she’s had when trying to close in on an NHL photographer offer — it can be in any state except for Michigan. 

But despite her feeling that she’s outgrown this state, she’s sticking around for one more summer. One more summer of no internships or responsibilities before she has to be a working adult for the rest of her life. A few more months to enjoy the few perks this state does have before getting to leave.

Currently, she’s sitting in the backyard of her grandparents’ new lakehouse. It’s admittedly beautiful and in a wonderful location that offers the tranquility that they’ve been searching for. The lake in their backyard glistens under the sun and the sunsets are stunning. 

It’s a hot day in mid-July and she spent her first full day catching up with her grandparents in the backyard. After she had graduated, she splurged on a trip to Europe with some friends that definitely made a dent in her bank account. When she voiced getting a job for the summer, her parents and grandparents immediately said no. Enjoy the summer, they said. 

After dinner, when the sun’s rays are barely peeking out, she volunteers to walk Susie, her grandparents’ golden retriever that is far too energetic for Amelie’s liking. Amelie grabs the leash, beckons Susie over, and they’re on their way to a walk around the neighborhood. 

She forgoes her Airpods for whatever reason and shoves both her hands in her sweatshirt, walking leisurely behind Susie. She’s so lost in her own head that she almost misses the sound of her own name. 

“Amelie?”

She blinks, stopping at the end of someone’s driveway. Susie trots happily to the guy who’s holding his hand out to pet her. “Luke?”

“Yeah,” Luke clears his throat and bends down slightly to pet Susie, who is loving the attention. “Hey buddy. What’s your name?”

“This is Susie.”

Luke chuckles as Susie’s tail wags crazily. “Hey girly. What a cutie.”

Amelie gently tugs the leash. “Easy, Suz. We don’t wanna kill him.”

She watches for a few seconds as Luke keeps petting her. Yankees hat atop his head and wearing a white t-shirt and swim trunks, it’s been over a year since Amelie’s seen Luke Hughes. The last time she saw him was after the devastating loss against Quinnipiac at the Frozen Four. He had jetted out to Boston that night, but not without giving Amelie an unexpected but genuine hug goodbye. 

As a photographer for the Michigan Athletic Department during her entire college career, she became at friendly with many athletes, especially the guys on the men’s hockey team, since her boss put her on assignment with them a good amount. But she hadn’t expected Luke to remember her or recognize her.

“You live around here?” Luke asks, standing back up as Susie calms down.

“My grandparents just bought a place a few houses down and I just got here. You live here?”

“Kinda,” he gestures to the house behind him. “My brothers bought this place a few years back.”

“Small world,” she remarks. 

He nods with a small smile. “It sure is.” 

“Who’s your friend, Moose?”

She turns her head to the open garage to see a shorter, tanner version of Luke. This guy is wearing a black t-shirt with sweatpants, his hair less curlier than Luke’s. He must be one of his brothers, and even if Luke didn’t just tell her it was his brothers’ place, she would’ve put it together. They both have the same half-smile. 

He’s also beautiful. Almost annoyingly so.

(If her sisters were here, they’d immediately point out that Jack is exactly her type. Well, Charlotte would point out that he smiles similarly to Cooper and Colette would immediately scold Charlotte.)

The guy walks over and Susie gets excited at a new presence. He also bends down to pet her. “This is Amelie,” Luke says. “She photographed a lot of the games back at Michigan.” He turns back to Amelie. “Did you just graduate? Or do you have one year left?”

“I just graduated.”

“Congratulations,” the guy stands up and sticks out his hand. “I’m Jack. Luke’s brother. Well, one of them.”

She shakes his hand with a polite smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Jack. And thank you.”

“You said you’re gonna be here for the summer?” Luke asks. 

“Most of it, yeah.”

“Where do you live?” Jack asks.

“My grandparents are a few houses down. 118.”

Jack perks up. “Stanley and Ruth are your grandparents?”

“Yeah,” she narrows her eyes. “How do you know them?”

“They ran into our parents golfing last week. And I’ve waved at them a few times driving down the street.”

“That sounds about right,” she chuckles. “They love their golf and they love sitting on the front porch.”

Luke straightens up, and with Amelie’s previous interactions with him, that means that he’s about to suggest either a great or horrendous idea. “You should come over for dinner this week. You and your grandparents. Our parents are still here for a few days and we’re going a bit stir-crazy with each other, I think.”

So it’s a horrendous idea this time. She immediately tries to deny the offer politely. “Oh no, that’s okay. I wouldn’t wanna intrude your-”

“We’d love to have you. And your grandparents,” Jack says with an air of finality. “And I know our parents would say the same. They’re sick of also just having us around.”

“I still have your number from when you used to send me pictures after games,” Luke says. “I’ll text you details and we’ll find a time that works?”

“Okay,” she says after a few seconds. As if Susie understands, she barks. 

Jack gives her one last pet with a grin. “This floofer’s welcome as well.”

After one last smile, she and Susie are on their way as the brothers head back into the house. Once they’re out of earshot, she sighs. 

She has no idea how she feels about this. 

day three - jack 

Jack Hughes is convinced he’s going insane.

Well, that’s not exactly true. He’s perfectly fine, great, even. Recovery is going well. He’s back with his family in one of his favorite places in the world. Even in July, the season still seems so far away. Some days he itches to get back to The Rock in front of the fans. But most of the time, he’s enjoying his off-season rehab and training, being on the water and being on the golf course. 

But Amelie – which first of all, an incredibly beautiful name — and her just as beautiful dog Susie have been at the back of his mind for two days straight now. That’s weird. Jack doesn’t usually think about girls like this, especially girls he’s barely met.

All he’s gotten from Luke so far is that she’s a year older than him, which makes her a year younger than Jack, she photographed a bunch of the Michigan games during Luke’s two years there and she’s a bit quieter than some of the social media team’s counterparts Luke knows she worked with. 

And she’s so, so cute. But Luke didn’t tell him that one. 

A few hours before she’s supposed to come over with her grandparents, Jack’s lounging on the boat, as Quinn, who’s in the driver's seat, and Luke are talking about…something. But he’s deeply focused on his phone, trying to do what every Gen Z person does when they see someone cute. Find their Instagram. The fact that he’s held off for over 48 hours is already impressive. 

He finds it relatively easily, as some of Luke’s former teammates who Jack follows follow her, and Amelie isn’t a common name. She’s private, but linked in her bio is her photography account, which is public. While there’s no pictures of her on there, it proves to him that she’s an insanely good photographer. Not just hockey, either. There are some beautiful shots of divers, gymnasts, soccer players, etc. You name the sport, it seems like Amelie’s photographed it. 

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Quinn asks. 

Jack quickly locks his phone. “Nothing.”

Luke, like the pest he is, narrows his eyes. “Sure.”

“Don’t make me push you into the water, Moose.”

An empty threat, Jack knows, but he starts leaning forward and Luke yelps. “Quinn!”

Quinn rolls his eyes, “You’re both annoying. We gotta head back though. I wanna shower before dinner.”

Dinner. Right. Amelie. Coming into him and Quinn’s home. Great. 

Something must change on his face, because a shit-eating grin grows on Luke’s face. “Oh. That’s what this is about.”

“What?” Jack feigns cluelessness. 

“Amelie’s pretty, isn’t she?” Luke says. Jack just shoves him and Quinn chuckles, catching up. 

“If you think she’s pretty, why didn’t you make your move first?” Jack retorts back. “You had two years.”

Luke shrugs. “Just because she’s pretty doesn’t mean I’m interested. She’s cool though. Way too cool for you.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Luke rolls his eyes, “For once, no.”

“Was she friends with the guys?” Quinn asks. And Jack’s silently grateful that he doesn’t have to be the one to dig for more information.

“I don’t know if I would say friends, but definitely very friendly with everyone,” Luke says. “I think she was a TA in one of Rut and Adam’s classes or something. She seemed to get along with them the best. And I feel like she had a soft spot for Eddy, for some reason. I think it’s that thing where we just all are around each other all the time and the more we saw of her at the rink, the more we got to know her.”

Huh. Interesting. He doesn’t know anything about Rutger McGroarty except that he went to the program a few years after Jack did and was drafted to the Jets. Ethan Edwards is one of Luke’s closest friends from Michigan and could be signing with the Devils organization this upcoming season, and Jack likes him. Adam Fantilli trains with the guys in the summer so Jack’s gotten to know him decently well. That one might say the most. 

Luke gives him a pointed look. “I’m serious. Don’t mess with her. She’s too nice for that. And she can put you in your place.”

And Jack’s downright offended that Luke would even insinuate something like that. But as Quinn guides them home, he thinks. Luke’s never given an opinion on any girl Jack’s dated or had a thing with. He’s spoken maybe three sentences to Amelie, didn’t even directly express his interest and Luke is already all up in his ass. 

He hears when Amelie arrives hours later, Susie barking and the sounds of Stanley and Ruth talking with his parents. He tries to be nonchalant as they all come out into the backyard, when he sees her conversing with Luke, instead making himself busy by introducing himself to Stanley and Ruth. 

But her pink linen pants match her headband and her smile is dripping with gold and Jack is going insane. 

They have dinner outside surrounded by the sound of the rippling lake, the view of a cotton-candy sunset, the feel of light breeze and the warmth of easy laughter. Jack sneaks a few small pieces of chicken to Susie and Amelie catches him, glaring at him from across the table. Jack just smirks as she rolls her eyes, chomping away at her corn and tuning into whatever conversation is going on. 

His parents ask about her background and her time at Michigan and he can’t help but smile when she talks about her double degree — communications and design — and how going to an activities fair turned into working as a photographer for the athletics department. She talks about her first time photographing a hockey game and how hockey is the fastest and in a way, hardest sport she’s ever photographed. But it’s become her favorite. That puts a smile on the faces of the entire Hughes family. 

She gets asked what her plans are post-grad, and she just breezes through it casually, saying that she’s been talking to US Soccer and the NHL but nothing finalized yet. She says it so casually that Jack’s almost in awe. 

Jack never believed in love at first sight, and still doesn’t, thank you very much, but the sound of Amelie’s laughter has him feeling so nervous and stupid and ridiculous. 

Whatever. He’ll unpack this later.

day six - amelie

Amelie’s cameras and her camera equipment are her babies, which, duh, considering her passion and career. Which means she’s very excited to take out the vintage 35 MM film camera she got for a graduation gift from her parents. 

After lunch, she takes one of the many outdoor chairs her grandparents have, plopping herself decently close to the lake to fiddle with some of the settings. She has her trusted DSLR camera next to her as well, the sounds of the birds and a Michigan summer her soundtrack. One of her neighbors must be playing the guitar outside and Amelie finds herself at peace. 

The peace is slowly shattered as she hears a motor coming from the lake. She rolls her eyes to herself. Fucking boats and boatowners who think they’re the shit. 

She does point her camera towards the boat though. It’s a cool shot. 

She doesn’t realize it’s slowing down until it practically stops. She squints and sees someone waving their hand maniacally. She tentatively walks a bit towards the lake. 

“Luke?” 

He nods enthusiastically and Amelie kinda finds it endearing. She quickly takes note of Quinn at the helm and sees Jack’s head popping up from behind Quinn. The boat slows to a stop and she comes to the edge of the lake. 

“Morning. Or afternoon, I guess.”

“Hey,” Jack says with a friendly smile. “What are you up to?”

She holds her camera. “Testing this out. I actually just got a pretty cool shot of the boat.”

“Is that a special kind of camera?” Quinn asks. 

She nods. “Mmhmm. It’s a vintage 35 millimeter film camera, which is the exact opposite of what you want when photographing any sport. What are you guys up to today?”

Luke shrugs. “The usual. Probably gonna be on the boat for a few hours.” He lights up. “Do you wanna come on?”

She opens her mouth to say something but Jack pushes on before she can get a word out. “Yeah, come on!”

“If you don’t already have plans, that is,” Quinn adds. 

She closes her mouth and thinks. She doesn’t have plans today and hasn’t ever been on a boat. Plus, even though she partially chose to spend time out here to reflect on herself and be by herself, she knows it’s good for her to be talking with people that aren’t her grandparents. And, they’ve been nothing but nice to her so far. 

“On a few conditions.”

Jack tilts his head. “Which are?”

“I don’t have to get in the water and I get to bring my cameras.”

“Deal,” Jack says quickly. 

Amelie gives a close-lipped smile. “Give me two minutes.” She sets her cameras down carefully by the chair side and jogs back into the house. She grabs her favorite Michigan crewneck in case it gets cold and grabs her tote bag which has sunscreen, sunglasses, her keys and wallet. When she comes back out, the boat is docked as close to the edge as possible. Without hesitation, Amelie takes off her flip-flops, wades into the water and hands Luke her bag and cameras carefully before Jack pulls her up into the boat. 

She wobbles a bit and Jack’s hands hover behind her back in case she falls. “You ever been on a boat?”

“Not in awhile,” she says, settling down in a seat next to Luke. “I prefer having my feet on the ground.”

Luke’s eyebrows furrow. “You can swim, right?”

“What?” Amelie jokes quietly. “Are you planning on pushing me in?”

“No one is getting pushed in,” Quinn assures, sending a light glare at his two brothers as he starts steering them deeper into the lake. “Especially with those expensive cameras on board.”

“Are you really the one responsible for every photo of Luke playing hockey taken at Michigan?” Jack asks. 

She blinks, absolutely taken aback. “Not every photo, I’d say.”

“Definitely a good amount though,” Luke says. “I feel like you were always at every game.”

She shrugs, “Well, my boss started putting me on hockey more because I’m pretty sure I was the only one who could do it well.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Hey, it’s a tough sport to photograph. It’s fast and unpredictable and you have to have a sense of where the puck is going before it gets there.”

Amelie internally cringes at that last part. She sounds like a coach. 

“Did you like hockey before?” Quinn asks.

“Not really, to be honest. The first game I ever watched was at Michigan when I was shadowing.”

“You must’ve figured out pretty quickly where the puck will go, then, if you didn’t know much about hockey before,” Jack says with something like respect in his eyes.

Amelie smiles. “I guess.”

Quinn nods to the film camera that Amelie had picked up the second she got on the boat. “Can we see the picture you took of the boat?”

“I wish. I’m gonna get the film developed at the end of the summer and that’ll take a few weeks.” Quinn hums in understanding. She takes out her regular camera and pops off the lens cap, shoving it in her back. Luke’s eyes light up in recognition and she can’t help but chuckle. “You recognize this one?”

“How could I not?”

She points it at three of them. “Smile. All of you.” She snaps a couple before putting down her camera and playfully glaring at them. “Geez. At least act like you guys like each other.” She looks quickly at the photo with a satisfied nod, before turning her camera towards the brothers so they can see. 

They continue chatting, talking about various things from Michigan (the state and the school) to one of their cousins who just got engaged to where Amelie’s parents are (they also live in Michigan, though further south, but are currently visiting family in France that Amelie had seen last year when she studied abroad in France) to the upcoming season. Amelie mostly keeps quiet on that front, because she doesn’t need to let them know that she got a call yesterday with news that the NHL is closing in on a job offer that will determine where she spends the next few years.

The thought that she could be seeing these three multiple times throughout the season when she’s currently on their boat right now is just downright weird. She just met Quinn and Jack six days ago. She hasn’t seen Luke in two years. 

This whole thing is just weird. 

But whenever she feels too much in her own head, she just picks up her camera and points it at one of them or out at the lake, fiddling with lighting and focus settings. Sometimes she forgets that photography isn’t just going to be her career and that she can love it differently with no pressure and in a different light, no pun intended. 

With time, she gets more comfortable, sunglasses perched on her nose, chin tucked on her knees and laughter flowing out lighter and easier. It’s easier to pick up her camera when they start taking turns wakesurfing, her eyes widening when Jack jokingly tries to drag her out, and she’s either semi-impressed at their ability to make it look easy or laughing her ass off when they flail and fall. 

As she’s shutting off her camera — contrary to popular belief, she does need to put it away after a certain amount of time — Jack plops down next to her. Quinn and Luke are entranced in their own conversation towards the front. 

Jack runs a hand through his damp hair, “Do you mind handing me my shirt next to you?”

She hands it over with a weary look. “It’s boiling out.”

“Oh, so you want me to keep my shirt off.”

The smirk on his face has Amelie rolling her eyes. Boys. “You’re gonna wanna take it off again in like, 5 minutes. I just think you’re being dumb.”

Jack puts a hand over his heart in mock offense. “Ouch. That might be the harshest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I met you six days ago.”

“And my point still stands.” She scrunches her nose a bit when Jack shakes out his hair and some water droplets land on her. He just smiles that half-smile that she’s not sure if she likes or hates. “Are you sure you don’t wanna get in the water?”

“I’m not wearing a bathing suit. And even then, I’m not a huge fan of being in the water.”

“Well, then, what are you a huge fan of? Besides being behind the camera.”

She tilts her head so that it’s leaning against her seat, turning to face him completely. “I used to dance competitively and continued dancing a bit in college. I read a lot. At school, I used to love just camping out at a cafe for hours for the vibes.” She shrugs. “Nothing much else though.”

He nods, before looking at the cameras in her bag. “Why photography?”

She smiles, like she always does when talking about photography. “Taking photos is really cool, I think, because you’re the middle man. You frame the story. And if you frame it well, people will look at the photo and know exactly what’s going on. With sports, it’s all about the timing and the moment. You can write an article describing a game with quotes from the players or whatever, and no disrespect to that. I have a good amount of friends who are journalists. But photo is different, because you can see it, you know?”

Jack nods. “I think I get what you mean. You got a boyfriend waiting for you somewhere? Or a significant other?”

Her eyes widen and a sharp laugh erupts out of her. That’s random. “What?”

Jack just shrugs like he didn’t just completely throw her off. “It’s a valid question, no? Don’t wanna assume or give off an unwanted vibe if we’re gonna be hanging out all summer.”

“Well, uh, no. No boyfriend or partner of any sort like that.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know why that surprises you.”

“Because you’re pretty. Nice. Talented, clearly. Surely the guys and gals and pals at Michigan aren’t stupid enough to turn you down.”

She bypasses all the compliments because that’s too much to think about right now, instead focusing on the latter half of his sentence. She wraps her arms around her legs to clasp her fingers together. “I dated a girl for a bit freshman year. Nothing happened. It just fizzled out. We’re still decent friends. And then I dated this guy for about a year. But that fell to shit pretty extraordinarily.”

“Most of them do, don’t they?”

Amelie unintentionally chuckles. “Oh yeah? And what about you? How’s your love life looking?”

Jack looks out into the distance, breaking eye contact for the first time this whole conversation. “Was in a relationship around two years ago. It didn’t work out because of distance. Nothing much since then.”

Amelie highly doubts that, but she keeps her mouth shut, leaving it alone. “Fair enough.

“So why Michigan? Anything in particular draw you in?”

“Well, I think Michigan is on anyone’s radar who grew up in this state,” she twists her ring around. “And then, uh, when I got offered a full ride, I knew I would’ve been an idiot to turn that down.”

His eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “A full ride? You serious?”

“Yeah. Academic scholarship.”

He lets out a low whistle. “Jesus. You’re smart smart. Even I know full academic scholarships aren’t given out easily.” Amelie ducks her chin down. She can feel herself blushing and she hates it. “Was it your first choice? Going to Michigan?”

“No,” she admits softly. And she knows she’s talking to someone who may not have gone there, but who might as well have. He might love the college more than she does and she’s the one who actually is an alum. “NYU was my top choice. And I got accepted, but I couldn’t afford it.”

He nods, and then Quinn asks Jack to take over so he can go on the water and the moment passes. She does move closer to the front partially so she’s under the sun again, mostly so she can be closer to everyone. Luke tosses her a bottle of water and she chugs a good half of it, shooting him a thankful smile.

Amelie’s missed this, to be honest. Despite deeply cherishing her alone time, she’s always enjoyed being around a small group of people, observing them and their dynamics to evaluate what kind of people they are. It reminds her of when she used to tag along with her two older sisters and their friends. 

And these three are easy-going. They don’t allow Amelie to get in her head because they’re always talking about something and asking for her two cents. In Amelie’s 22 years of life, she’s become quick to notice if people are being nice to be nice or being nice to be kind. 

The Hughes brothers are being nice to be kind. And Amelie hates herself a bit for thinking it would be the other. 

She sits back and relishes in their company.

day seven - jack

Jack’s had a great day. 

Practice this morning went well, he beat Quinn at ping pong (though that’s not hard to do) and the three brothers have confirmed who’s coming to the lakehouse in a few days after they’re back from their mini trip to visit their grandma for her 90th. There’s gonna be quite a few of the guys and Jack’s pumped. He always likes combining different groups of friends. 

After dinner, he’s feeling a bit restless, so he decides to go out on a drive. Maybe he’ll grab some ice cream, though if he comes back with ice cream and none for Luke or Quinn, they’re gonna bitch about it. He puts on his summer playlist, which is filled with country, and rolls down the windows before backing out. 

He’s probably driving too fast for what’s acceptable in a residential neighborhood, so it’s at the last moment does he stop when he recognizes Amelie in front of her grandparents’ place walking Susie. He slows down, and she looks behind her as he rolls up. 

He leans his head out of his window just as he hears her say, “Hey Char, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Yeah. Bye. Love you.” She takes her phone away from her ear and shoots him a small smile. “Hey Jack.”

“Hi. Was that one of your sisters?”

“Yeah, that was Char. Or Charlotte I guess. The middle one.”

Susie paws up to the window and he scratches her head. “Hey cutie. You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?”

“She’s been off the rails the whole day, so she actually hasn’t been.” Amelie says dryly, making him snort. 

“You up to anything right now?”

She narrows her eyes. “Why?”

He nods to his car, “Get in.”

“You sure?”

“Of course.”

“Gimme a second to let Susie back in. Pull into the driveway.” Jack obeys, idling the engine and unlocking the doors as he waits for Amelie to come back. 

While he’s waiting, he thinks back to yesterday, being on the boat for hours with Amelie, learning more about her. Jack’s been told that he can be pretty excitable and eager, which is probably how he has acquired so many friends throughout his life. But, despite what a lot of people may think, he isn’t that stupid. He’s been around Amelie the last week enough to know that she’s a tougher nut to crack. And he knows there’s more to her than what she’s shown so far. 

So he’ll take every chance, every moment, to get to know her better. Because September will come around sooner than he thinks. It always does.

She comes back out and climbs into the passenger seat, buckling her seatbelt as he backs out of the driveway. She’s thrown on a Michigan Hockey sweatshirt over herself, settling her small bag on her lap. “You’re not gonna kidnap me and bury me in the woods, are you?” She asks. 

Jack turns down his music with a chuckle. “No. I don’t have the brainpower for that. Have you eaten?”

“Yeah.” 

He nods, starting to navigate them towards his favorite ice cream place around here. “Where’d you get the sweatshirt?”

She looks down at herself, as if she didn’t realize what she threw on. “Oh. I don’t remember, to be honest. Either it was given to me or one of the guys let me borrow it and I never gave it back.”

“Luke mentioned you were a TA in some of the guys’ classes?”

She leans back in the seat, leaning her head on the seatbelt so that she’s facing him. “Yeah. I was a TA my junior year for one of Adam, Rutger and Gavin’s classes. Senior year Luca and Nick, who I think came in after Luke left so you might not know him, took the class.”

“Were they good students?”

Amelie snorts. “Good enough. Though one time Rut tried to bribe me into extending an assignment since they had a big game away that weekend — I think it was Ohio State. I also had to go on that trip and I had to grade all of their stuff plus deal with my own classes, so I told him, in polite words, to fuck off and submit his fucking paper on time.”

Jack laughs. He can picture it in his head, Rutger with his good looks and childish smile turning on the charm to 100 to a skeptical Amelie, bored but amused eyes as she watches him plead his side. Maybe she’s wearing a headband. Maybe she’s not. 

(She’s wearing one right now. A tiny white one that you’d miss if you weren’t looking) 

“Those boys…were they good?”

“You’re the hockey player. Shouldn’t you know?”

“No. I mean, like, were they good to you? Nice to you? Because if they were dickheads…”

“No!” Amelie is quick to assure him. “They were great. Honestly. During my entire four years working with the team, I never really had a problem with any of the guys. And I can’t say that about every team I had to photograph.”

“Oh?” Jack sneaks a look over to her as she’s looking at her hands. 

“Yeah.”

Jack wants to dig, but he doesn’t. He just doesn’t like the idea that people could be outwardly rude to Amelie when she’s just doing her job. He doesn’t like the idea that people could be outwardly rude to Amelie at all. 

They climb out of the car and he locks it with a click as they walk side by side to the counter to order. He smiles to himself as he lags behind a few steps, watching her bounce on her toes to try and see the flavor options. 

His attention is brought back into the moment as he feels Amelie tug the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Is the Chocolate Delight good?”

“That’s Quinn’s favorite. It’s super chocolatey.”

“Perfect.” They both step up to the window. Jack orders himself a small Strawberry Cheesecake in a cup. Amelie orders a small Chocolate Delight in a cup and before the girl at the window can even finish listing out the total price, Jack practically shoves his credit card into her hand. 

Amelie gives him a scathing look. “Jack. Come on. You didn’t even give me a chance.”

“Precisely.” Her glare stays on her face. “It’s not a big deal. My treat for kidnapping you on our boat yesterday and kidnapping you tonight.”

“So you are kidnapping me,” she says, referring to her earlier comment. She relaxes and Jack calls it a win as they’re given their ice creams. They snag a high-top table that’s a bit away from the other crowded tables. He watches as she digs in, a small satisfied smile on her face, turning sideways to look at the sunset.

He’s not the photographer, but he wishes he could take a picture of her right now. 

They eat their ice cream in relatively comfortable silence, and he feels satisfied when he plays with her foot under the table and it causes her to chuckle. She does kick him back hard enough to make him flinch though.

20 minutes later, they’re sitting in the back of Jack’s car at a lake lookout catching the last streaks of the sunset when he pipes up. “Colette. Charlotte. Amelie. Very French.”

“Well, that’s what happens when your mother is French.”

“What do they do?”

“Col’s doing some cool stuff with fashion merchandising in New York. Just got engaged and getting married sometime next year. Char’s at Stanford getting her PhD in…something that involves physics and is over my head.” 

Jack chuckles. “I feel that. My sister’s doing her residency at NYU and no matter how hard I want to understand, when she gets on her tangents, I can never follow.”

Amelie’s eyebrows furrow. “Sister?”

“Oh, well, not actually. It’s Clementine. One of us must’ve mentioned her yesterday,” Jack says. “She’s not my sister by blood, but our parents have been best friends since forever and we all grew up together, so she might as well be. Went to UCLA and then, also Stanford, actually. So for eight years, I didn’t really get to see her that often.” Jack digs out his phone and flickers through his photos before clicking on the one his mom took of him, Quinn, Luke and Clementine in New Hampshire earlier in the summer.

“She’s pretty,” Amelie remarks softly. 

Jack smiles. “I don’t think I’d be the same if I didn’t have her growing up. We actually live together in Jersey now. Me, her and Luke. It’s a fun time, even if she pretends it’s not.”

“She’s doing her residency, you said?”

“Yeah,” he takes his phone back. “This I do know. Combined residency with pediatrics and the ER. Just finished her first year out of five.”

Amelie whistles. “Good for her. So she’ll be in New York and Jersey for the near future?”

“Yup,” Jack’s smile seems to always be permanent on his face when talking about Clementine. “Though now she’s dating Hisch so that’s a whole thing.”

“She’s dating your captain?” Amelie chuckles, eyebrows raised in amusement. “I sure hope you like him.”

“I love Nico,” he defends himself. “I was rooting for them to get together. They were tiptoeing around each other all of last season. But now that they’re actually dating I just like being a bitch about it to give them a hard time.”

Amelie shoves her hands in her sweatshirt. “That’s what siblings do.”

“I can’t imagine you being a bitch to your sisters’ significant others they’ve brought home.”

She shrugs, “I don’t think I am. I’ve been told I can be a bit closed-off when you first meet me though.”

“Hey. Nothing wrong with taking time to feel people out.” 

“Some people don’t have the patience for that, though.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know. A lot of people just assume people who aren’t outwardly charismatic aren’t worth their time.”

Jack blinks, thinking about her words over and over again like a broken record. “Well, then they’re missing out.”

She looks at him and he’s momentarily distracted by the way her white headband creates a sort of halo around her. She lets out a small smile. Jack wants to frame it and put it on the wall of his room back in Jersey. She chuckles, and Jack feels defensive all of a sudden.

“What?” He asks, trying not to sound indignant. 

“Nothing, it’s just…I don’t know. That’s such an interesting thing coming from someone who I imagine is exactly just that.”

“Just what?” He’s not doing a great job today at keeping track of where a conversation goes. 

She huffs. “Outwardly charismatic. You’re telling me you’re not?”

Jack’s hands suddenly start to sweat. “I mean, I guess. But that doesn’t come easy to everyone. I still don’t think it comes easy to me. I’ve just been forced to be okay at it because of what I do.”

She starts swatting at bugs so they hop out of the trunk and start driving back. She doesn’t miss a beat in their conversation. “That’s another reason why I love photography. No one expects anything out of me or pays attention to me.”

Jack can’t help but laugh, thinking back to his rookie year and all the damn expectations that were placed on him that he didn’t surpass. It’s water under the bridge now, but he would be lying if he said that he doesn’t think about it once in awhile, especially when the draft bust comments come back after a stretch of bad games. 

“I don’t know what that’s like, having no one expect anything out of me,” he admits, carefully pulling out on the main road. 

“Do you like that? Having a chip on your shoulder?”

“Yeah, in a way. Definitely lights a fire under your ass and motivates you. But, I don’t know, it can get to be a lot, I guess. But I’m used to it. People have been expecting things out of me since I was 16. Younger, even.”

Amelie hums, adjusting her headband. “Must be a lonely place to be at times.”

“Where?”

“The top.” 

Jack mulls over her words in his brain. Once. Twice. A third time. He clears his throat. “I’ve never thought about it like that.” 

When he’s about to sleep that night, he replays their conversations in his head until he finally drifts off. 

day twelve - amelie

Amelie’s a bit glad to have had a few days away from Jack — from any of the Hughes brothers — as they went on a mini trip to Canton to celebrate their grandmother’s birthday. She’s been filling her time by taking walks with Susie, tagging along to help Ruth with groceries and humoring Stanley when he wants to go sit at his favorite diner for hours to talk. Retirement’s pretty nice, Amelie thinks, but even she’s starting to get a bit restless. 

So when she gets a text from Jack after finishing her morning coffee — she forgets when they exchanged numbers or if they ever even did. Luke could’ve given it to him — she’s actually excited.

Weird. When’s the last time Amelie has felt excited to get a text?

Jack Hughes

amelie my amelie 

we just got back last night

and a bunch of your boys are here for a few days 

you should come by and say hi

Amelie furrows her eyebrows as she responds. 

Amelie Fishel 

my boys?

Jack Hughes

beniers, briss, blankenburg, fants, brindley and eddy 

i might be leaving someone out but you get it 

Amelie blinks. She hasn’t heard some of those names in years. And they’re just all over the house right now? 

Hockey players are weird. Their friendships and circles and how they overlap are even weirder. 

Amelie Fishel 

that’s a lotta boys 

Jack Hughes 

yeah and that’s not even all of them 

luke mentioned that you’re nearby and they’re kinda harping on me to get you to come over 

i also just wanna see you 

“You should go,” Amelie jumps out of her seat. Luckily, Ruth isn’t directly behind her. She doesn’t particularly want to be nursing her grandma’s injuries. 

“Don’t eavesdrop on my conversations, Grandma.”

“You should go,” Ruth repeats. “Those boys were sweet and polite over dinner. And you know their friends?”

“Yeah. Photographed quite a few of them at college throughout the years.”

“Then you should go.”

“Aren’t we about to go to lunch with some of your friends?”

Ruth tuts. “They’d perfectly understand you ditching us old gossips to hang out with your friends.”

“I’m going to lunch with you. I haven’t seen them in awhile either and I like your friends,” Amelie says firmly. One look from Ruth and Amelie relents. “I’ll go see the guys after dinner. If they even want me.”

Amelie Fishel 

won’t be around until after dinner

dunno if that changes your invite

Jack Hughes 

see you after dinner 🫡

i’ll try to hold off your fan club in the meantime 

(As Amelie goes upstairs to change, Ruth chuckles to herself. She remembers the middle Hughes brother unable to keep his eyes off Amelie at dinner that night.)

After dinner comes, and she shuffles through her dressers before reminding herself that it doesn’t matter what she wears. She throws on her favorite pair of jean shorts and tosses on a Stanford sweatshirt she stole from Charlotte ages ago. She grabs her tote bag, kisses her grandparents goodbye and pats Susie on the head before walking out the door. 

As she approaches the Hughes home, she rolls her eyes at all the cars parked in their driveway and lining down the street. Exactly how many people are here? 

She hears voices coming from the back and decides to forgo the front door and paddles over through their side yard into the back. Amelie pauses at the sight, taking in what must be at least ten people by the firepit. She tries to be discreet, figuring out where or who she should head to first. But a voice calling out loudly stops her. 

“Mimi!” Before she knows it, Adam Fantilli crashes into her body. She grunts into his chest as he lifts her up. 

“Call me that one more time and you won’t have a season to get back to in Columbus.”

Gavin chuckles from behind Adam, before reaching out for his much tamer hug. Good. “Nice to know some things don’t change.”

She huffs, but her heart does feel lighter. “I saw you, like, three months ago, Brinds. No one changes that much in three months.” She lets the two boys each swing an arm around her shoulders and gets smushed in the middle, both simultaneously talking her ear off. She’s not really catching what they say, and she thinks they don’t actually care, but it’s nice to be around them again. Really nice. Familiar. 

She’s led to the fire, and feels her smile grow as Nick Blankenburg, Brendan Brisson and Matty Beniers all bounce over and give her enthusiastic hugs and greetings. God, it’s been so long since she’s seen them. Even though she was younger and more naive when photographing them her freshman year, they were on her first roster. And there’s always something special about the first one.

“The fact that you decided to stick around the boys for four years says a lot,” Nick says with a smile. “Did you like them as much as the guys during your first year though?”

“You never forget your first!” Matty chimes in and Brendan throws his head back in laughter. Amelie’s sick of them already, rolling her eyes as she greets Luke with a tight side hug. 

She beams at Ethan, whose smile is just as big. “Hi Eddy.”

“Hey Ami,” She lets out a laugh as the smiley Canadian smothers her in a hug. “I didn’t think I’d be seeing you so soon. I’ve missed you.”

“Me neither,” she mumbles into his chest before pulling away. “Missed you too.”

“Well, we obviously know who the favorite is.” Someone pipes in and her eyes track toward the voice. This guy definitely didn’t go to Michigan, but has one of the most contagious smiles she’s ever seen. “I’m Trevor. Friend of Jack’s. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Ah, yes. She remembers Jack mentioning him a few times. “Nice to meet you, Trevor.” She turns to the last person she doesn’t know. Dark brown, curly hair and pouty lips. “You must be Alex.”

Alex’s eyebrows shoot up and Amelie kinda likes that he doesn’t hide his surprise. “Yeah. Jack talk about me too?”

“Yeah. Mostly Ellen though. Said that you’re the favorite.” Alex grins as Trevor howls in laughter. 

“He is,” Jack grumbles from behind her. “Even to this day, It’s quite annoying.” Jack shoots her a quick smile and Amelie smiles back before thanking Quinn quietly as he passes her a cider. 

She looks around to see that all of the guys have beer in their hands. She had mentioned off the cuff on the boat that she hates beer. She’s touched that they remembered. She takes a seat in one of the adirondack chairs, Jack on one side and Adam on her other. 

“I saw Luke’s story. How was golfing?”

“Good,” Quinn says. 

“You a golfer, Mimi?”

Again, Amelie glares at the young Blue Jacket. “I think I’d rather do anything else.”

Brendan chuckles. “I recognize that glare. I’ve almost missed it.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Amelie says, sipping her drink and wrapping her arms around herself. Jack tosses the large blanket over both their legs and she nudges his foot with hers as a thank you. 

The boys are loud and talk over each other and Amelie can’t remember the last time she’s rolled her eyes this much. She takes the bag of chips that Ethan passes her and finishes it off, much to Luke’s dismay. And of course, true to herself, she takes out her camera to snap a few photos. As the sky darkens and fire blazes, Amelie feels warm, chiming in occasionally when she sees fit but mostly listening. 

Amelie’s attention is pulled back to the present with Ethan asking her a question. “You mentioned at the end of the season that you were looking at jobs with some different sports leagues.” She doesn’t remember telling him that, but if there’s anyone she would tell, it would be him. “Did any of that, you know, go anywhere?”

Amelie smiles. “I’m in the final stages of, uh, figuring out something with the NHL.”

Jack’s eyes widen. “No US Soccer anymore?”

Amelie shrugs. “Maybe in the future. But no, not right now. Least not full-time.”

“Wait,” Ethan pushes with wide, excited eyes. “Ami. Are you gonna be-”

“I don’t wanna jinx it,” Amelie says with her hand up, but a smile peeks through. “It’s not a sure thing yet. They’re trying to figure out with what team or area of the country. Or that’s what they told me.”

Cheers erupt and she kinda wants to hide her face behind her hands. Popcorn is thrown at her and she swats it away. She turns to look at Jack, who smiles and picks a kernel out of her hair. 

It’s a beautiful smile. She wishes she saw it more often, instead of the half smirk half smile he always does. 

“Any chance you’d be in Jersey?” Luke asks as Ethan grins and Jack nudges her elbow.

“Columbus also works!” Adam calls out, high-fiving Nick and Gavin.

“California sunshine is nice,” Trevor sings out. 

“Just the west coast in general,” Quinn adds as Brendan, Alex and Matty all nod emphatically. 

“Your pitches all need some work,” Amelie snorts, before shrugging. “Honestly, I’ll be fine anywhere. Just not Michigan. I need to get out of here.” Everyone laughs, but she catches Jack’s inquisitive look. She quickly lets herself get dragged into a conversation with Quinn, Nick and Adam instead. 

She eyes the pool table through the window of the sunroom and Jack catches her, challenging her to a game. She, along with Jack, Adam and Ethan decide to go in for a quick game. They split up into teams, her and Jack on one, Adam and Ethan on the other.

She eyes the chalkboard and grimaces at Jack’s less-than-desirable record. “Do I really want you on my team?”

Jack follows her eyeline and rolls his eyes. “Ignore that.”

“Kinda hard to,” she squints. “Damn, I should’ve dragged Quinn in here.” Jack pouts as Ethan snickers, her waving at Adam to break. 

What Amelie failed to voice when she saw the pool table is that she is pretty damn good at pool. During the few times she went out in college, it’s how she and her friends liked to get free drinks. She would challenge a few of her overconfident guy friends or acquaintances and bet a free drink or two. Though actually, she remembers she played against Adam at least once and absolutely destroyed him. She’s surprised and amused that he doesn’t remember, if his wide eyed indignation at her sinking a seemingly-impossible shot says anything, much to Jack’s amusement. 

“Holy shit,” Jack says, impressed. “Who taught you to play? Can you give me their number?”

Amelie shrugs with a small smirk, watching Adam take his turn. “There was a diner I grew up nearby that had a table. I honestly can’t remember who taught me. I just played against my sisters a lot.”

“We should’ve placed a bet on this. You two didn’t know about this secret talent?” Jack says, directing the question to the former Wolverines. 

“Yeah, Adam,” she eggs on, laughing as his shot misses. “You should remember. I got you and Truscott to buy me a drink out of it once.” Adam curses in realization as Ethan cackles. 

“Wait, I remember that,” Ethan says. “I was even shocked that you were out and about, considering all the times you turned our invites down. Imagine me hearing that not only are you out, you also just single handedly took down the two best pool players on the team.” 

“Turning down invites to parties, huh?” Jack chuckles.  

Amelie rolls her eyes, watching Jack take his shot. “No. They were all just up in my business when I was trying to be professional.”

Ethan scoffs. “Professional? Yeah, okay.”

“Professional,” Amelie repeats. “I was working for you guys, technically.”

“Ew, no you weren’t,” Adam says, crinkling his nose. “Don’t say that. God. You were just as much part of the team as we were.”

“I don’t know about that,” she watches Jack mess up his shot and just rolls her eyes. “All I did was take pictures of you all.”

“Part of the team,” Ethan emphasizes, also messing up his shot. God, Amelie thinks. These boys are bad at pool. “Stop pretending we weren’t your favorites to photograph.”

“Yeah, admit it!” Adam chimes in. “You were easier on me when grading papers too.”

“I was absolutely not,” she says. “The fact that you treated pre-game as office hours made me grade you harder.” They just wave her off and Amelie huffs. 

“Look where being professional got you,” Ethan smirks. “Some fun friendships, eh?” She smacks his shoulder. 

“You’re lucky I like you,” Amelie warns, before sinking in the 8-ball with a smirk. Adam and Ethan groan as Jack cheers, placing an overzealous kiss on her cheek before going to the chalkboard. “You’re welcome for the win.”

When the fire starts to die out and more people start yawning an hour later, Amelie decides to call it a night. She gives everybody a hug, promising more than once that she’ll see everyone at least one more time before they leave in five days. Jack offers to walk her home and she doesn’t even bother fighting. 

They start walking. Amelie flips her hood up and Jack shoves his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “You lied to me.”

She furrows her eyebrows. “Huh?”

“Said the guys were just nice to you. They love you.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“And you love them.”

Amelie stares down at her shoes with a shrug. “Like I said, they’re good guys.” She looks back up and tugs at his sweatshirt sleeve. “Thanks for the invite.”

“Of course.” Jack says. “You’re always welcome.”

“I don’t think you mean that.”

“I never say things I don’t mean,” he says lightly. “Waste of time and energy.”

Amelie swallows, Jack’s woody cologne filtering through her nose and all of a sudden, it feels like he’s too close, but she can’t pull herself away. “Thank you though. Seriously. You’re right. I-I’ve missed them.” 

She lets him pull her into a side hug and doesn’t say anything when he keeps his arm swung around her shoulder. “Do you have any plans tomorrow?”

Amelie chuckles. “What are you thinking?”

“Well, turns out some of the guys want a rematch because they’re mad I beat their asses so we’re golfing again tomorrow, but we’re starting early.”

“I’m not going golfing. Even the best bribe couldn’t bring me out there.”

“I’m not asking you to come golfing,” Jack laughs. “It’s just, contrary to what you may believe, I’m kinda annoying in the morning and need caffeine and fuel to deal with that many people, especially before going on the course.”

“Jack, what are you-”

“Do you wanna grab breakfast tomorrow? Just the two of us? Those fuckers never get up in time.”

“So you’re gonna let them starve?”

“They can figure themselves out.”

They stop at her front door and she turns around. Him being on the step below causes them to be at the same height. “Sure.”

The left side of his lips quirk up. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Though subjecting me to your pre-caffeine self seems like you’re trying to sabotage me.”

He rolls his eyes. “Does 9 work?”

Despite herself, Amelie grins. “See you then.” She reaches behind her to twist the doorknob. “Thanks for walking me home. Goodnight Jack.”

“Goodnight.” 

She watches through the window until he walks out of sight. She then looks at the lone light still on in the kitchen and has an idea. 

day thirteen - jack

Jack’s not an idiot, despite what his brothers and teammates may tell you. He knows this isn’t a date. 

But it sure feels like one. 

Jack’s looking at the suitcase he probably should’ve fully unpacked by now, figuring out what to wear. It’s literally just breakfast with a girl he met not even two weeks ago, so he shouldn’t really care what he’s wearing. 

Breakfast. With a girl he met less than two weeks ago. A girl whose company he really, really enjoys. 

He shakes his head at himself, pulling out a black t-shirt and khaki shorts. He decides to clasp on a watch before he can overthink himself out of it. 

At 8:57, he quietly paddles downstairs and grabs the keys off the hook before jumping into his car. He barely pulls into her driveway before her front door opens. A smile spreads across his face at Amelie, her floral pink dress flying behind her as she rushes out, quickly checking she has what she needs in her tote bag before opening the car door. 

“Good morning,” he says. 

“Hey,” she breathes out. She scans him up and down really quickly. It makes him swallow. “You look nice.”

He backs out of the driveway. “You do too.” When he gets to look at her again, he notices the matching hair scarf hanging from her ponytail. “I like the thing in your hair. You look like a fairy.”

“A fairy?”

“Yeah.”

She blinks. “Oh. That’s…really nice, I think? Thank you.”

“Definitely a compliment.” He bites his lip to stop his smile from growing too wide. She hums along to the song on the radio and looks out the window. He rolls it down for her and watches her lean her elbows at the edge, her head peeking out. 

Jack has to drag his eyes back to focus on the road. The sight of Amelie sitting shotgun while he’s driving brings a feeling in his stomach he’s never felt before. At least not to this depth. 

She turns to him. “Where are we going?”

“Sunny Side Up right off Beecher Ave.”

She chuckles. “That’s Grandpa’s favorite place. We might catch him come in as we leave.”

He freezes a bit as he slows the car down with a stop at the light, at the thought of Stanley coming in to see him with his beloved granddaughter, both semi-dressed up on a Wednesday morning, just the two of them. 

When they arrive, he holds open the door for her, and breathes in the smells of coffee and eggs and everything good coming out of the kitchen of Sunny Side Up. The place is emptier than he expected, but he also knows the typical brunch crowd rolls in a bit later. The hostess tells them to sit wherever they like and he follows Amelie to a spot by the window. They barely slip into their seats before he hears a familiar scratchy yet comforting voice. 

“Amelie!” The woman then turns her head and doesn’t even hide her surprise as her grin grows. “And Jack Hughes. What a nice surprise.”

“Hey Sherry,” Jack nods with a grin.

He sees Amelie’s eyes light up, even if it’s subdued. “Hi Sherry.”

The older woman that Jack has seen here every summer since he moved here sets two menus down. She offers Jack a pointed look that looks awfully like his mother’s. “I haven’t seen you here this summer as often as past summers. You cheating on us with some other cafe?”

“I’m a loyal guy, Sherry,” he charms. “I would never.”

Sherry narrows her eyes, “Mmhmm. I’ll get you two some coffee while you decide what you want.”

Amelie nods and flashes a warm smile. “Thank you.” They watch Sherry scurry away. The sound of Amelie’s gentle laugh pulls his attention back to her. “You come here often, huh? Well, clearly not often enough this summer.”

“Hey, you can’t even say that,” Jack whines. “Clearly you come here often too.”

She shrugs, “Like I said, it’s Grandpa’s favorite place. I come here with him at least once a week.”

“Do you have any friends around the area?” Amelie’s eyebrows shoot up and Jack immediately backtracks. “Not that-I didn’t mean it like that. I just-”

Amelie snorts, leaning back in her seat. “Chill Jack. I know what you meant. The ones who are in Michigan aren’t close by and the rest are spread out across the country. I came to my grandparents’ knowing that I wouldn’t see a lot of my friends. Kinda purposeful on my end, in a way. But then Luke saw me walk Susie and now here we are.”

“Don’t pretend like you haven’t enjoyed our company.”

“It’s definitely made my summer more eventful.” Their coffees come and neither of them look at the menu before ordering. Jack orders the french toast with strawberries and blueberries and she gets the house omelet. Jack ignores the pointed look that Sherry gives both of them, because he’s right with her and kinda has no idea what to make of this but is trying to enjoy it while he can. 

He feels her nudge his feet under the table. He snaps his focus back to her as she nods to the cup of creamers next to him. “Pass me two?”

He nods, obliging. “Sugar?”

She shakes her head. “I’m good. Thanks.”

Jack watches her stir the creamer in before a sudden thought pops up. “Yesterday, when you said that you don’t care where you went as long as it wasn’t Michigan, what did you mean by that?”

Amelie, to her credit, doesn’t seem surprised by the sudden question. “Exactly what I said. It’s nothing against the Red Wings. I just need to get out of here.”

“Why?” 

She stares at him for a few seconds, and Jack gets nervous. Before he can take back the question, she answers. “When you haven’t really gotten the chance to travel or live anywhere your whole life and a job offers you to go anywhere, you take the chance.”

Jack nods slowly. He’s gotten to travel to a lot of places through hockey, but he still considers Michigan his home and often feels an urge to come back during the season — as much as he thoroughly enjoys living and playing in New Jersey. It’s hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that someone could want out of Michigan. 

She smiles and chuckles a bit suddenly. Jack raises an eyebrow in question. She just shakes her head. He thinks she’s adorable. “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I just thought of something.”

“Do share with the class.”

“I’ve been so excited at the prospect of leaving Michigan, but it’s so clear you and your brothers love it and I don’t know. It’s nice to be reminded of the good parts of this state.”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. I guess throughout the season I don’t really get to be around Quinn or my friends and family that often, so when all of us have the off-season, we all naturally gravitate towards home, which nowadays, is here.”

“You don’t have to defend yourself about why you like this state, Jack,” she says with a small chuckle. “I get it. My family’s technically all here too, so I can’t escape it completely.”

Their food arrives soon after and they spend a few silent minutes just digging in. He cuts a piece of his french toast for her and she in turn cuts him a portion of her omelet. He’s hoping that she’s not catching the fact that he can’t keep his eyes off of her. 

When they finish, Jack shoves his card into Sherry’s hand when she grabs the check, they’re walking out of the diner, full and content. The sun is beating down but not too hard that Jack feels gross. Hopefully it stays that way when he and the boys go out golfing in an hour. 

“Do you have a second to come inside?”

Jack’s eyebrows immediately shoot up his forehead, killing the engine. “Yeah. Why?”

“Just come inside,” Amelie rolls her eyes. “I’m not gonna kill you.”

“Reassuring,” he deadpans, following her through the front door and immediately bending down to pet Susie and prevent her from running out. He watches Amelie disappear into the kitchen for a moment before she comes back out with a tupperware container filled with…cookies?

“For you,” Amelie hands him the tupperware. “And the other guys.”

“What are these?”

“I kinda got a burst of energy after I came home last night and wanted to do something with my hands. You’re gonna tell me you guys are gonna turn down fresh cookies?”

“No,” he says, looking back at her. “Thank you.” 

She smiles. “You’re welcome.”

Jack opens his mouth and then closes it. He wants to ask why she made the cookies. Why she’s giving a large container of them to him and their friends. If it means anything.

Instead, he backs towards the door. “See you around?”

“Yeah,” she says. “Have fun golfing with the boys. I don’t want to hear a single thing about it.”

He laughs. “I won’t subject you to that. Promise.”

“I’ll hold you to it. And thanks for breakfast.”

“Of course.”

“Stop paying for me though.”

“Never.”

She playfully shoves him out the door with an eye roll. He thinks he could see that eye roll for the rest of his life and feel content.

day fifteen - amelie

As she’s pouring herself a second cup of coffee, she hears someone knocking on the front door. Ruth’s out walking Susie and Stanley’s out golfing with friends the day, so Amelie trudges over to the front door. 

It’s Quinn, in a Canucks sweatshirt and basketball shorts, his hands shoved into his pockets.

Amelie smiles easily, albeit confused. “Hey Quinn.”

“Morning.”

“What’s up?”

He shifts on his feet. “Are you busy?”

“Not really,” she opens the door wider for him to come in. “I was just editing some photos. Coffee?”

“Please.”

“Anything in it?

“A bit of milk if you have some.”

She hums, preparing his coffee and carefully sliding it over to him as he rests his forearms on the island. “Where are the rest of the guys?”

He shrugs. “Either asleep or just hanging out. We had a tough practice this morning.”

“And you decided to come here?” She teases. She doesn’t want him to think he’s not welcome, because she actually really likes Quinn, despite spending the least amount of time with him compared to his brothers. 

“Kinda wanted some peace and quiet, to be honest, which is hard to find in the house when there’s so many people,” he admits, before nodding to her open laptop. “You said you were editing photos? What for?”

“Partially to update my portfolio. Partially to brush up on my skills.” She moves the laptop so he can see it. Pulled up is a picture she took last year at a Michigan swim meet. “See how it’s a little too bright here?” She clicks on the dodge tool in the open Photoshop tab and quickly edits. “There.”

“Do you do this with every photo?”

“Sometimes I switch between different softwares, but it’s generally the same process. The big differences that I have to be aware of are lighting and composition when editing.”

Quinn nods. “This is sick. Like, super cool.”

She quickly saves her work before turning her full attention back to Quinn, smiling. “Thank you.”

“Do you have any photos you’ve taken of us the last few weeks?”

With that, Amelie scoots herself closer to him and slowly scrolls through a bunch of photos, starting from that day onto the boat and then to the fire the other night and other miscellaneous ones inbetween. Quinn lingers on a picture that’s one of her favorites, one that makes her smile everytime she sees it. It’s of Jack the night of the fire. The light from the fire is illuminating the front of his face while the dawn of the Michigan sky behind him casts him in a subtle light. 

He’s looking away from the camera — at Gavin, if she remembers correctly — in the middle of laughing. His hair is all tousled over his forehead, some loose strands going over his eyes. His blue eyes are bright and if she showed this photo to anyone who didn’t know Jack Hughes, she’s sure they would be able to hear his laughter anyways.

He looks radiant. Everything like the bright and intense first-overall draft pick he was projected to be. As she watches Quinn’s eyes flicker over the photo, she thinks there’s something incredibly intimate about the way the camera captures the middle Hughes brother. 

(“The subject of the camera makes up less than one percent of the photograph,” Professor Yang, one of her most trusted mentors said to her once. “The majority of the beauty of a photograph comes from the photographer themself and how they see the subject.“

It’s always at the most inconvenient times does Professor Yang’s voice ping through her head.)

She watches Quinn click through other photos, some edited, most of them raw. He makes small comments here and there asking about the mechanics of photography and how she knows when and what to shoot her lens at. She tries to explain in a way that would make sense to someone who knows little to nothing about photography and Quinn, to his credit, is keeping up the best he can. She goes to pour Quinn another round of coffee as Ruth comes back in through the side door, Susie trotting over to Quinn happily, who pets her. Ruth merely smiles as she’s sliding off her shoes at the sight of the eldest Hughes brother. 

“Good morning, Quinn.”

Quinn grins. “Good morning. Sorry for interrupting.”

Ruth waves him off, coming to kiss the top of Amelie’s head. “Not at all. I see Amelie here has offered you some coffee. Would you like some chocolate chip cookies? Also courtesy of Amelie.”

“Not on the meal plan, I’m sure,” Amelie comments dryly. 

Quinn laughs loudly. “No, but it is the summer.” He reaches into the container in Ruth’s hands. “Thank you. I actually had some of the ones you gave Jack last night. They’re really good.”

Amelie ignores the look she knows her grandmother is giving her. “Thanks. I could teach you how to make them, if you’d like. My, uh, an old friend of mine taught me a trick his mom taught him that make it extra gooey.”

She, again, ignores the look her grandmother is giving her. Quinn doesn’t need to know that old friend is her ex-boyfriend. 

(Humans are interesting in the way that they’re mosaics, made up of the pieces — people, in this case — they’ve encountered in their lives. Amelie hates what Cooper did to her, but she will never forget the methods he taught her about making the perfect chocolate chip cookie)

Quinn grins. “I’d love to know, actually. I’ve been wanting to figure out how to bake simple things to, like, bring to events and stuff. I should, right? Being captain and all.”

Amelie snorts as she starts getting ingredients. “If you say so.”

Quinn and Ruth start chatting inbetween Amelie telling Quinn what to do. She can tell her grandmother is absolutely charmed by Quinn’s politeness and overall presence. And to be honest, she is as well.  

It makes sense that he’s captain, in the way he speaks, listens and guides. Amelie thinks if she were on a sports team, she’d ride into battle with, for and alongside him. 

Quinn spills a bit of flour on the counter and Amelie just snorts, waving away his apologies and telling him to crack the eggs. She just eyes him to make sure he isn’t fucking that up while listening to Ruth talk about something Charlotte told her on a call the other day. 

“You know,” Ruth starts and Amelie immediately doesn’t like where her tone is going. “My granddaughters are pretty great people, present company included. Colette’s engaged, but Charlotte’s single.”

Amelie bursts out in laughter as Quinn starts blinking, no doubt trying to think quickly about how to respond to that. “Grandma, at least try to be subtle about it.”

“Why? I’m too old for that.”

“With all love, I don’t think Quinn is Char’s type. Char only dates assholes, remember?”

Quinn laughs in surprise as Ruth taps her chin with a small smile. “I suppose that’s true. The boy she brought back last summer wasn’t too bad.”

“He told me photography wasn’t a real career and that I was wasting my time,” Amelie deadpans as the oven beeps. She nods at Quinn to put in the trays. “I get that he’s in academia like Char, but what a shitty take.”

“Maybe introducing Quinn to her will break her streak,” Ruth suggests. 

Amelie rolls her eyes to humor her. “How do you even know if Quinn is single?”

Ruth eyes him. “Are you?”

Quinn clears his throat, “I am. Newly single though.” 

Amelie didn’t know that, and it’s not her place to pry. She grimaces as she pulls him into a side hug. “That settles it, then. I’m keeping Quinn to myself.” Luckily, that gets him to smile.  

Just as the oven beeps and Ruth moves to start preparing lasagna, (“Sit down, Quinn. You’re not going anywhere.” Ruth had said with a firm voice as Quinn was trying to leave, not wanting to intrude for lunch), the doorbell rings. Amelie blinks. She has a feeling she knows who’s on the other side of the door. 

It’s a slightly smaller group than the night by the fire. Jack, Luke, Adam, Ethan, Alex and the sweet smile of a guy who wasn’t here last time. But Jack has shown her enough pictures and he’s talked about Cole Caufield enough that Amelie is 99% sure it’s him. 

“Hey Mimi!” 

“Don’t call me that,” she automatically responds to Adam. “You all here for lunch?”

“Ruth invited us,” Luke pipes up. Well, that explains why she was taking out such a large portion of lasagna sheets. “Susie saw Jack getting the mail and kinda mauled him. 

“Of course she did,” Amelie steps aside as one by one, they greet her with a quick hug. She hugs Cole for a bit longer. “Cole, right? It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Cole beams. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She chuckles softly as they follow everyone else. She tries to ignore Jack behind them, knowing he’s listening in. “Anything Eddy says about me is 100% true. The others you can take with a grain of salt.”

“Even when Jack tells me he thinks you’re one of the prettiest and talented people he’s ever met?” 

Amelie’s eyebrows jump up as she looks at Jack, who doesn’t even look ashamed. He even shoots her a quick wink and she’s for sure blushing. She turns back to Cole with a shy grin. “I don’t know about that.”

They walk towards the kitchen, where Ruth is shooing everyone out with the plate of cookies Amelie and Quinn just made. Amelie leads them all outside, squinting against the sun as she quickly grabs a few chairs so everyone has a place to sit. She leans her head on her chin as she focuses on what seems a continuation of a previous conversation about relationships, or lack thereof. She rolls her eyes. Typical. She’s honestly surprised this didn’t come up at the fire the other night in the Hughes backyard. 

She munches on a cookie and merely smiles as Jack finds his way to the seat next to hers. He nudges her knee with hers and she bumps him back.

“Hey,” he says softly so that only she can hear him. 

“Hi.”

“I like your bow. You look pretty.”

Amelie reaches up to touch the black sheer bow clipped atop her ponytail. “Thank you. Sorry Suz attacked you earlier.”

Jack shrugs, the sunshine painting his cheeks an endearing rosy pink. “Gonna get lunch out of it, aren’t I?”

“You flash your smile at Grandma and I’m pretty sure she’d bake you a cake everyday.”

He only smirks before they both tune back into the conversation. Though from where Jack is sitting, Amelie has a perfect peripheral view of him. He has a Yankees cap on backwards, his curls peeking out at the ends. His summer tan is obvious against the white t-shirt he’s wearing with light-washed jeans. 

It’s not the first time that Amelie has noticed how attractive he is. It’s the first time that she has to swallow and force herself to focus on Adam’s voice because she wants to…kiss him. Shit, she really wants to kiss Jack Hughes. 

Horrible.

“What do you think, Amelie?” Her head whips at the sound of Luke’s voice. 

“What are we talking about?”

Luke smirks and Amelie wants to slap him. “Past relationships, to sum it up. Mostly Adam’s.” And Quinn’s, Amelie fills in in her head, because it’s true, even if it’s unspoken. 

“What about them?” 

The air suddenly feels a bit heavy, the most solemn it’s been since Luke saw her at the end of his driveway two weeks ago. 

“Do you think it’s a thing to lose feelings for someone? Like is it real?”

Some sort of noise erupts out of her mouth before she can stop it. If the guys weren’t intrigued before, they are now, as they fall silent, waiting for her next words. She chooses her next words carefully. 

“I think it’s more of an excuse that people use when they don’t want to justify or dig into the real reason why they’re feeling the way they are.” Someone whistles. She thinks it’s Alex, but she’s not 100% sure. Amelie winces. “Sorry, did I just attack someone?”

“Just my ex,” Adam says. 

“Oh good. No one here then.” Amelie offers him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry though. I know how much that sucks to hear.”

“It does.”

“I had to learn that it’s rarely your fault that they supposedly lost feelings. It took me awhile to figure that out, but I did.” She turns to Adam and tries to give him a reassuring smile. “It sucks. Agonizing over everything you could’ve done better and asking yourself why you weren’t enough for them to stick around. At least that’s how it was for me.”

“That’s…kinda exactly how it felt,” Adam admits. “Feels, even now, sometimes.”

Amelie shrugs. “There’s no set timeline for the process of moving on. And it ebbs and flows too. Also no fault in that.”

“You seem awfully knowledgeable about breakups,” Luke states. Amelie catches Ethan’s subtle but pointed glance. How much does she want to tell them about that part of her life? 

“A story for another time,” she says with a dry smile. Cooper Volt and his douchebag ways are not a conversation she wants to have before noon. Or really ever. “But I’m serious, Adam. And whoever else needs to hear it. Feelings can shift and feel and look different overtime, but losing them completely? I don’t know. It’s heartbreaking to hear from someone who used to be such a big part of your life.”

“Commitment is scary,” Cole pipes up. “And it’s hard. Especially, I feel like, with what we do.”

It’s like getting a bucket of ice cold water dumped on her when she suddenly remembers who exactly she’s surrounded by. 

“Do you even want commitment?” Amelie blinks. “Sorry, that’s harsh. That’s not fair of me to ask.”

“It’s a fair question though, I think.” Jack says. Amelie suddenly feels her hands clam up. “I mean, for me at least, I think it’s changed throughout the years. You know, at the start, like five years ago, when it was still chaotic and still an adjustment period, a relationship probably wasn’t on my mind.”

“But now?” Cole presses. 

Jack shrugs. “I think so. But you can’t force it, you know?”

“A relationship would do you well, Jacky.” Luke says, taking a sip of his water. “Don’t know who’d want to deal with you though.” Jack throws his half-filled water bottle at him and Luke squeaks as everyone laughs. Jack nudges Amelie’s knee with a light smile and she has absolutely no idea what to make of that. 

“I didn’t know you were dating someone, Adam,” Amelie comments.

Adam shrugs. “It was for most of last season. Met her through a mutual friend of a mutual friend. I thought it was going well. Clearly it didn’t work out.” 

“But you tried your best?”

“Of course I did. Well, what I thought was best at the time.”

“Then that’s all you can do,” Amelie curls up in her chair. “Sometimes our best isn’t enough. It sucks to hear, but it’s true. And that’s not on you.” She avidly avoids Jack’s eyes that she can feel boring into the side of her head. She should probably stop talking before she reveals more than she wants to. 

Luckily, the conversation steers elsewhere with courtesy to Jack. “Well, what do you look for in someone, Amelie?”

Amelie snorts. “You trying to matchmake for me, Hughes?”

“Maybe.”

Everyone laughs and she puts her chin on her hands in thought. “I mean, tough question.”

“One thing. That shouldn’t be hard.”

“It’s not. Just give me a minute to think. I wasn’t prepared to be talking about our love lives today.” Amelie bites her lip, staring out at the lake in thought. But in reality, it’s an easy answer. “I think, honestly, the biggest thing for me is someone who’s just, kind. Kind to the point where they care about the people around them and how they treat others and the world and….I don’t know. It sounds dumb.”

“It’s not,” Jack says. “Being kind and considerate is underrated, I think. It’s hard to find people like that.”

“Or maybe you’re not looking in the right place,” Alex adds.

“That too.”

Amelie summons some courage. “Well, I’ll flip the question back to you then. And anyone else who wants to answer. What’s one thing you look for in a partner?”

It’s like Jack makes sure she doesn’t break eye contact before answering. “Honestly? Someone I can have fun with and feel completely comfortable around. Which I know isn’t a real trait, but I think if I feel like I don’t have to pretend at all with somebody then they’re worth keeping in my life.”

“That’s quite sweet, Rowdy,” Quinn comments, Jack just shrugs, her eyes still on hers. 

Okay, yeah. Amelie needs space. Or water. Or three shots of vodka. 

The universe listens to her, because Ruth is suddenly calling them all in. Amelie bolts out of her seat and rushes in to help set up utensils. Thankfully, no one outwardly calls her out on it as they all trickle in after her. The conversation shifts to easier topics, and she relishes in being more of an observer than a contributor. 

Along with the delicious lasagna, Ruth somehow found time to make some brownies which Amelie is almost sure is not allowed in any of their diet plans. Nonetheless, she watches them devour the gooey treats and shower Ruth in praise. She herself has one before standing up to put dishes away. She and her grandmother stop any of them, either with their eyes or words, from getting up and they all reluctantly sink in their seats and continue their conversations. Ruth asked them about going to Michigan a few minutes ago and they’re still on that, with Cole and Alex talking up Wisconsin even though no one asked. 

Amelie’s putting the last dish in the dishwasher when someone’s voice in the kitchen causes her to yelp in surprise. She whips around to see Jack’s wince. “Jesus, Jack. Warn a girl next time.”

“Sorry,” he comes around the counter. “I just wanted to see if you needed any help, but it seems like you got it covered.”

“Grandma let you get away?”

“I might have told her I was gonna use the bathroom,” he admits. 

Amelie snorts, shutting the dishwasher. “Why lie?”

“I wanted to see you without everyone’s eyes on us.”

When someone just says that, so honestly, almost rushed out as if he wasn’t thinking of saying it in the first place but it just slipped out, how is she supposed to react, really?

She resorts to what she knows best. Apathy. “Well, here I am.”

“Here you are. Quinn told me you taught him how to make those cookies.”

“I did,” a smile peeks out at that. “He did pretty well. And we made a lot, so please take them with you when you guys leave.”

“Kicking us out so soon?”

“No,” she sighs. “But as much as she’s gonna pretend not to, Grandma doesn’t have as much energy anymore, so I will at some point in the near future gently kick all of you out so she can rest.”

“No worries,” Jack says. “We have plans to head out on the boat anyways. You wanna join?”

She actually does want to, but she already had her own plans to have a day for herself, and those days are important. “I think I’m good. I’ll leave you boys to it. But thank you for the offer.”

“Anytime.” They’re practically touching now, but Amelie doesn’t mind. She doesn’t ever feel like Jack is encroaching on her space. “Earlier, outside, when we were talking about relationships…”

“What about them?”

If he catches her clipped tone, he doesn’t take note. Instead, he tilts his head to the side in curiosity. “You mentioned wanting someone that’s kind.”

“I did.”

“A bit of a low bar, no?”

She scoffs, leaning her back against the kitchen counter. She crosses her arms and looks him straight in the eye. “Well, maybe I’ve just dated some shitty people.”

He holds the eye contact steady. She’s not sure why it surprises her. “Maybe you have.”

Despite herself, she’s amused. “You’re awfully nosy sometimes, you know that?”

“Not the first time I’ve heard it.”

“Does it usually work for you? Being nosy?”

“I call it just being interested.”

She swallows, deciding if she wants to push. She takes note of the voices in the other room. If she wants to push, she needs to do it fast. 

Amelie’s 99% sure this is where her and Jack are the most alike. They’re stubborn and can never back down from a challenge. 

She steps even closer to him where she thinks she catches a whiff of his deodorant. Jack’s eyes are still trained on her, passive, but with something in them that she can’t quite read. “I did, by the way.”

“Hm?”

“Date someone shitty.”

“I’m sorry about that.” He sounds sincere about it. 

“Not your fault.”

“Not yours either.”

She chuckles, “Debatable.”

“Nah,” a smile curls at his lips and she thinks it’s beautiful. “Don’t think you’ve done anything wrong in your life.”

“Does the charm usually work for you?”

He lets out a loud laugh. The sound of it spreads warmth on her skin. “You tell me.”

Oh. That’s a challenge if Amelie’s ever heard one. But even with his close proximity, this building tension of sorts that’s been present ever since they’ve met and his watchful but kind eyes, waiting for the next move, she’s still not sure. 

Fuck it. 

She kisses him anyway. 

Jack responds immediately, his hands finding a home on her hips in a way that has her smiling into his lips. She thinks he’s smiling too, but she pulls away too quickly to really know. He is grinning when she pulls away though, a sparkle in his eye she hasn’t seen quite yet.

He pouts playfully and she wants to kiss him again. But she restrains herself and glares at him instead. “What’s the pout for?”

“What’s the glare for?” He shoots back, squeezing her hips lightly. “You kissed me yet I feel like you’re about to accuse me of killing Suzie.”

“Suzie would probably kill you first,” she replies absentmindedly, before stepping away. Mostly so she doesn’t lose control again and kiss him. 

Amelie might be starting to question her decision, but Jack’s smile is easy. Light. “You gonna let me kiss you again?”

She snorts, but it’s more fond than anything. “Next time.”

He sticks his bottom lip out in displeasure, but he backs away. “I’m holding you to that.” 

She follows him back to the kitchen with a light pep in her step paired with an alarm bell in her mind.

day twenty - jack

Jack automatically smiles when Clementine Sandoval’s face appears on his phone screen. “Hey Clee.”

“Jacky!” She exclaims. “You look tan.”

He gasps in delight. “Really? Thank you.”

His pseudo-older sister rolls her eyes, “Nevermind. I take it back. How are you? What’s up? How’s Michigan? Where are Q and Lukey?”

He chuckles at her onslaught of questions, a pang of guilt in his heart because he hasn’t called her that much since he left New Jersey mid-June. To be fair, he didn’t want to interrupt her trip to visit her new boyfriend in Switzerland — Jack still has to remind himself sometimes that his captain is dating someone who he’s considered a sister ever since he can remember. He loves it, but the fact that Nico could basically become his brother-in-law is a fact he still hasn’t wrapped his head around.

But that pang of guilt washes away quickly, like it always does, as he looks at her warm smile. “I’m good. Michigan’s great. Quinn’s out getting groceries and Luke’s probably still napping. Are you busy?”

“Not at all. I’m just making dinner. I actually do miss you guys at the apartment a lot.”

Jack grins. “We miss you a lot too, Clee. Wish you were here.”

“So what’s up?”

“Hm?”

“You’re chewing on your drawstrings. You only do that when something’s on your mind.”

He lets the drawstrings fall from his mouth as he narrows his eyes. “How do you know that?”

She snorts, “Because I know you, Jack. What’s going on?”

The sound of her sink water running fills the air as Jack takes a deep breath. “I met a girl.”

He snickers as Clementine, with her back towards the camera, freezes. Slowly, she turns back around. “You met a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” she starts chopping some garlic. “Tell me about her.”

“Her name’s Amelie. She’s a year younger than me. Just graduated from Michigan. She knows Luke, actually, used to photograph the hockey games.”

“She knows Luke?”

“Yeah. Her grandparents just bought a place two houses down from us and she was walking the dog one day and…yeah.”

Clementine hums, clearing the chopped garlic off her knife and into a small bowl. “What’s she like?”

“She’s a bit quieter, but quick and sarcastic as hell when you get to know her. She’s creative, because, you know, photographer. She’s really pretty. Hang on, I’ll send you a picture,” Jack does just that, sending one he took of her and Adam the other night, waiting for Clementine to look at it before he continues. “She’s always saying something really interesting and cool. I don’t know. We’ve been hanging out a lot the last two weeks and she’s just, really great.”

“You met two weeks ago?”

“More or less.” Jack bites his lip, trying to read the abnormally-unreadable look on her face. “What?”

“Nothing. She just graduated? Any plans after post-grad?”

“Said she’s talking to a few NHL teams for a photographer gig.”

Her eyebrows shoot up. “For real?”

“Yup.”

“Damn,” Clementine says. “That’s awesome. So what? You like her?”

“I think so?”

“It’s a yes or no question.”

“Fine. Yes. I do.”

She smirks. “That wasn’t so hard, was it now?” Jack glares at his phone as she giggles. “Okay. Does she like you back?”

“She kissed me the other day.”

“Oh,” Clementine’s eyes sparkle and Jack feels bashful for some reason. “Did she now? So she must.”

“Hopefully.”

She gives him a look. “Jack.”

“What?”

“You’re being annoying on purpose.”

“I’m not being annoying,” Jack responds instinctively. Okay, maybe he is. “I just, I don’t know. I haven’t felt like this in awhile. Maybe ever.”

“Felt like what, exactly?”

And this is why Jack called the older brunette. She pushes him in a way that isn’t overbearing, but just the right amount where she’s not gonna take getting brushed off. Sometimes, Jack thinks he gets away with brushing things off too easily. Blame it on growing up with two brothers. Luckily, Clementine doesn’t let that happen. 

“Felt this excited about someone.”

“That’s a good thing, Jack.” She says. 

“Yeah.” Suddenly, it’s like a dam breaks. He hasn’t really talked to anyone about how exactly he feels about Amelie yet. “She’s…..I think I really like her, Clee. Like, I just want to be around her all the time. When I’m around her, I just, I don’t know. I can’t stop smiling. 

“She must be some girl.”

“She is,” he responds confidently. 

“So now what? You two have kissed. What’s next? Labels or no?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.”

“No. I don’t.” Silence. Clementine stops the movement on her end and looks at Jack. He swallows. It’s the kind of look that she only pulls out when she’s about to say something he might not want to hear. “What?” He says defensively. 

“Nothing. Well, that’s not true. It’s okay to not know. You guys literally just met. Really. Just…be careful. I’m sure she’s lovely, but I don’t..you seem to really like her. I’d hate to see you get hurt over this.”

“I won’t,” Jack says confidently. “Clee, you know me. I don’t get my heart broken.”

“You also don’t get like this about girls,” Clementine points out. “And you know how I know that? You’ve known Amelie for two weeks and you’re already telling me about her. It took you three months for you to even mention to me that you had a girlfriend last time. Just…be careful, okay? You’re only in Michigan for so much longer.”

“I will,” Jack says. 

Clementine only nods, before they switch the conversation back to her trip to Switzerland. But the rest of the conversation, Jack can’t help but keep seeing Clementine’s worried look in her mind. 

Clementine’s usually right. He hopes she’s wrong this time. 

day twenty three - amelie

Amelie takes a deep breath before accepting a good luck hug from her grandparents and shutting the front door. She smiles at the sight of Jack’s car and slides over into his passenger seat with practiced ease. 

“You really didn’t have to do this.”

“We’re literally going to the same place.”

“Still.”

Jack backs out of her driveway with an easy smile. “You nervous?”

Like, yeah. But she shrugs. “Even if I am, nothing I can do about it now.”

“You’ll get the job,” he says confidently. “I know it.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she chuckles. “Where are Quinn and Luke? Don’t you all practice together?”

“Yeah. I forced them to take another car.”

“You didn’t have to kick them out.”

“I think I did.” She just gives him a look. Jack smiles easily. “Don’t worry about it. Remind me of the address again?”

She wordlessly connects her phone to his car and puts in the address of the cafe she’s meeting Heather at. 47 minute drive and she has to be there at 10 a.m. sharp. She’ll have around ten minutes to spare. 

It’s clear they both woke up not long ago, content to spend most of the drive in comfortable silence with her occasional humming to whatever song she has playing from her phone. It’s mostly softer tunes to accompany the earlier hour, Maggie Rogers, Lizzy McAlpine and Noah Kahan appearing the most frequently. She’s 99% sure this isn’t close to Jack’s style of music at all, but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

As he turns off the highway, she takes a deep breath, smoothing down her silk navy short-sleeved blouse she’s deemed her good-luck shirt — she wore it during her first interview with the NHL months ago. Luckily, it’s different people this time. 

“I’m serious,” Jack says. “You’re gonna be great and you’re gonna get that job and get the fuck out of Michigan.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” They pull up to the cafe and she turns to face him with a grateful smile. “Thank you for driving me.”

“I’ll come by as soon as practice is done.”

She waves him off. “Take your time.”

He leans in to kiss her cheek sweetly. “Good luck. You’re gonna kill it.”

Her stomach is flipping now for a whole different reason. She quickly opens the passenger door and looks at Jack’s sweet smile one more time before shutting it. 

The interview goes…so well. So well that she has a job by the end of it, with a promised contract being sent to her email within the next hour. But she barely has to answer any questions before they’re asking her if she’ll take it. It catches Amelie by complete shock and happiness that it takes so much for her to keep her cool in front of Josh, her possible future manager, and Sasha, the recruiter she’s been in touch with this whole time. 

All of her hard work has accounted for something? She wants to pinch herself as she shakes both of their hands and watches them walk out. 

But something settles in her stomach when she looks down at the notes she took. In her cursive-like handwriting. 

Main coverage teams: Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils 

Staring at the last word on the page, she swallows. The Devils. She’s gonna be photographing Jack. 

Realistically, she knew that this always would’ve been a possibility. But she never let herself entertain the idea. 

But now it’s real. And it’s terrifying. And she kissed Jack eight days ago. She wants to throw up.

With shaky hands, she texts Jack that she’s done. He doesn’t respond right away so she takes a deep breath, tapping her fingers against her coffee cup, her brain going a million miles an hour. 

She’s responding to her family’s texts before Jack’s name flashes through with the alert of a call. “Hello?”

“Well?” Jack’s voice echoes through her ears. “Did you get it?”

“Come pick me up and find out,” she tries to tease. She hopes he can’t detect her shaky voice over the phone.

“Amelie,” he whines. “Come on. You can’t leave me hanging like that.”

She lets out a quiet chuckle. “Do you think I’d be this happy if I didn’t get it?”

A pause. And then, “Let’s fucking go, baby! I knew you had it in the bag.”

“Come pick me up so I can tell you more about it,” she mutters 

“You got it.” 

11 minutes later, she sees Jack park by the curb and she walks out of the cafe, willing her hands to stop sweating. He quickly comes around the car and gives her a giant hug. She laughs as he lifts her up. 

“So,” he sings as he starts the engine. “Do you know with what team? Or teams?”

Amelie hopes her poker face is intact. “Actually, not yet. That’s the only thing they haven’t fully settled on yet. And I might not know until, like, a month before I start.”

He tuts. “That’s a bit annoying. They just expect you to move to wherever on such short notice?”

She swallows roughly, hoping he doesn’t notice. “I guess. They said they can help me find housing though, which is helpful.”

He hums, before shaking her thigh with a laugh. “Amelie. This is amazing. You should be so proud of yourself.”

“Thanks, Jack.” Instead of turning onto the highway, Jack takes a right. “Where are we going?”

“Do you have anywhere else to be today?”

“Not until like, 4.”

“Perfect.”

She has to laugh out loud when the USA Hockey arena comes into view. “You forget something?”

“No,” he says simply. “Have you ever skated before?”

“I photographed your younger brother at Michigan.”

“But that doesn’t mean you’ve skated.” 

Fair. “I have. I’m not very good though.”

He kills the engine and flashes her a charming smile. “Come on. To celebrate.”

Amelie lets Jack charm the person working the rentals and watches him tie the skates on her feet, smiling softly as he does it carefully, making sure they’re tight enough. She takes his hand as she steps onto the ice, wobbling a bit but quickly gaining her balance. There’s no one else at this particular rink, which she’s thankful for. People would have questions, and she doesn’t have any of the answers. 

She lets herself laugh and have fun as Jack spins them around. She takes a deep breath, letting the smells and sounds of an empty hockey arena fill her senses again. 

This is gonna be her future for the next while. If she thinks too hard, she can picture herself in Newark, in the Prudential Center, with Jack across from her, just like this. She swallows at the sight of Jack’s bright eyes. 

Main coverage teams: Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils 

“You’re amazing,” Jack says a bit later, as they’re gliding in the middle of the ice, her hands in his, facing each other. “I’m serious. You’re going to crush it.”

She tries not to tear up, looking down at their skates. “I’m really excited,” she says. “This is, kind of, everything I’ve been working towards.”

“I know,” Jack smiles, tugging at her hands lightly. “You nervous at all?”

“A bit. Is that weird?”

He snorts. “No. I was scared shitless my rookie year, despite trying to act like hot shit.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“But you’re not me, because you’re healthily humble and you have the talent to back up your skill. It’s okay to be nervous, but it’s all gonna work out just fine.”

She hums, hands boldly reaching out to cup his face. She only has so much time left. She swears he softens into her touch. “Quite good at the pep talks, huh?”

“Not usually,” he murmurs, leaning closer as his lips ghost hers. “But, I don’t know. You seem to bring out a different side of me.”

“That’s sappy as shit.”

“I can be sappy.”

“Sure you can.” She hums as he presses a delicate kiss on her lips. She chuckles airily as he pulls away only to start peppering kisses on her cheeks. 

For a bit, Amelie squashes her overthinking and just breathes in everything Jack Hughes. 

(Unbeknownst to both Amelie and Jack, Jim sees them from the offices upstairs. He smiles to himself, as he watches his son spin the brunette girl around the ice, the joy palpable on both their faces)

day twenty five - jack

He doesn’t even bother to come up with an excuse anymore when he shows up on Stanley and Ruth’s front door the next morning. He accepts a cup of coffee when Ruth tells him Amelie’s in the shower, chatting casually with them both about the weather, golf, his family and the upcoming season. 

When Amelie comes down the stairs, she doesn’t even look surprised, simply waving before tossing her hair up and grabbing her bag. She mentioned over text that she just had to run some “boring” errands today. He jumped at the chance to join her. 

With some argument, she relents and lets him drive. He has to stop himself from looking over at her, overwhelmed at…her. Just her. 

The grocery store first to get groceries for Stanley and Ruth, which causes Jack to swallow because God, the way Amelie takes care of the people in her life reminds him of Clementine, who always saw the best in Jack before he was anything. 

Then a stop by at a farm to table place for lunch where Amelie says she’s been dying to try. Then Target, then CVS, then the bank. They never really hold hands, but they’re always in each other’s orbit comfortably. That’s enough for him.

Before being done for the day, a quick detour to a small beach that Amelie claims has “incredible sunsets.” He follows her obediently as she jumps out of the car with her film camera. The sunset is beautiful, but, and it’s so cliche and gross and he would get chirped to hell if his friends could read his mind, Amelie’s prettier. 

He can’t help but take out his phone to take a picture of her back against the cotton candy sky. He always posts some sort of a summer dump on his Instagram. Maybe this picture will go in there. 

day thirty two - amelie

“Who’s gonna be there again?” 

“Honestly, who knows at this point?” Jack’s voice floods her ears through her airpods as she takes Susie on a walk and Jack’s driving back from who knows where. 

“And this is tonight?”

“Yup. Because it’s someone’s birthday? Ethan’s, maybe?”

“Not Eddy,” she responds automatically. “His birthday’s in June.”

“I forget how close you two are.”

“To be fair, the only reason I remember is because he’s like, five days older than I am,” Amelie shushes Susie, who’s barking at a squirrel. “And you’re all gathering at some sort of sports bar at fucking Ann Arbor of all places to… celebrate? Reminisce?”

She can practically hear Jack’s pout. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” she chides gently. “I, just, I’m just confused about-”

“Confused about what?”

“About why you’d want me there.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you there?” Jack says softly. 

She swallows, playing with Susie’s leash. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Awesome,” she knows Jack’s smiling through the phone and she can’t help but smile as well, even though she feels a pit forming in her stomach. “I’m DDing because I lost a bet against Luke on the course yesterday, so you can go as hard as you’d like.” A rustle on his end of the phone. “I gotta go, but I’ll see you later?”

“What time are you coming?”

“Around 7:30?”

“Perfect.”

“See you soon.”

Amelie hears him pull up at 7:23 as she’s scrolling on her phone. A deep breath before opening the door and she doesn’t expect Jack to be walking up her steps. 

“Oh,” she blinks. “Hi.”

Jack smiles up at her. “Hey.”

She looks beyond his shoulder and sees some movement in the backseat of the running car. “You didn’t have to step out.”

“Feels impolite just honking.” She lets him wrap her in a quick hug before she slips into the passenger seat. She turns around immediately to smile at Ethan, Luke and Dylan. “Hi boys. You sure none of you wanna take the front seat?”

“We are under strict orders from Jack that as long as you’re in the car, we will be banished to the back,” Luke snickers. 

Jack blindly reaches back to smack his brother’s leg. “I’m already driving you losers. Don’t make me regret it.”

Luke gasps. “I’m not the one who lost the bet.” Another slap to the leg from Jack and another yelp from Luke. 

Once they reach the bar and Jack somehow finds street parking, the boys pile out quickly and head to the bar. Her and Jack stray behind, and he locks the car before swinging an arm around her shoulder, sneaking a kiss to her temple. 

She shouldn’t, but she leans into it. Leans into him. The bustling bar is coming into view and she’s getting nervous. 

He pokes at her side. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He offers her a skeptical look but lets it go. “You’ll know most of the people there. No need to be nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” she lies. 

He snorts, but doesn’t respond. He does pull her closer to his side though. 

Immediately when they walk in and Amelie realizes she has been here before. Not many times, maybe only three or four, but enough for the environment itself to not be unfamiliar. She surveys the scene while letting Jack steer them both towards a corner where both people she knows and doesn’t know are gathering. The first person she makes eye contact with happens to be Carina Scholl, a girl she went to high school with. Because of course. This state is so damn small. Before she can spiral over it, Amelie’s quickly distracted by the sound of Mark Estapa’s voice.

And then it’s like a floodgate opens. Members of the Michigan Men’s hockey team, present and past, greet her, standing in a sort of messy line, almost like they’re queuing to hug her. It starts with Mark, then Rutger and Kienan and Luca. Then Mackie and Nolan, who she hasn’t seen in far too long and didn’t realize she missed until now. 

She feels quite touched that they all seem so excited to see her, wrinkling her nose when Rutger pulls her ponytail lightly.  When everyone calms down, Jack slides her favorite cider towards her. She smiles at him in thanks and he just winks before being pulled into a conversation about hockey that honestly has Amelie immediately tuning them out. 

She ventures to familiar territory — a booth housing Ethan and Luke — and they happily let her slide between them, introducing her to the faces she doesn’t recognize as she politely nods. She does brighten up when one of the girls, Sarah, she notes, says she recognizes her from her photography. (“I was on the gymnastics team. My family might have one of your photos framed in the house.”). 

Photography and Michigan. Those are topics Amelie can talk about. 

After a bit, the boys slide out and she finds herself gravitating towards Sarah and two of her friends Amelie doesn’t know, content with sitting back and listening into their conversation, with some comments here and there. She spots two more girls she went to high school with — Shannon and Abby — and swallows roughly. She’s pulled back in the conversation with a call of her name from Madison. 

“I saw that you came in with Jack Hughes,” Madison says. Immediately, Amelie wants this conversation to end. But Madison’s smile is curious, not malicious. “Are you two…you know?”

Amelie blinks, stomach suddenly dropping. “Are we…”

“Together,” Sarah finishes with a teasing eye roll. “I don’t know why you didn’t just say it, Maddy.”

“I didn’t want to be impolite!” Madison exclaims as Ellie, the third girl, laughs. “I mean, we just met. It’s none of my business, really.”

“We’re not,” Amelie says, softly but firmly, even though she wants to crawl under the table right now. “Friends through Luke, I guess. Found out my grandparents live by him and Quinn’s place just a few weeks ago.”

“You hadn’t met beforehand?”

“Nope.”

“Huh,” Ellie says. Amelie follows Ellie’s eyeline to where Jack is talking to Adam. With a High Noon in one hand, the other shoved into the pocket of his jeans and that stupid backwards cap on his head, Amelie can’t look away. “I wouldn’t have predicted that. It seems like you’ve known each other forever.”

Amelie laughs shakily. “He’s like that with everyone.”

The girls let it go, but Amelie can’t. Is it that obvious to people? Should it be? Is he like this with everyone? It wouldn’t surprise her if he was. Just because they’ve kissed, doesn’t mean she’s anything special. 

After a bit, she excuses herself to go grab another drink. If Jack is also at the bar as she approaches, that’s just a coincidence. 

It’s interesting. She simultaneously wants to be away from him, especially because it seems like “Main coverage teams: Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils” is flashing through her mind at all times. But she also wants to be around him because he makes her feel at ease

She nods at Luca, who Jack was talking to, with a wry smile. “Luca.”

“Amelie,” he sings in the same tone. Amelie considers herself closer to the younger Fantilli, but Luca’s constant positive energy was always a welcome sight when she entered Yost. “You look beautiful.”

“That’s kind of you to say.”

“I feel like you’re about to yell at me for not answering the question again.”

“That was one time,” she says dryly. “Let it go.”

Jack looks between the two of them with interest. “Amelie being a strict TA? That doesn’t surprise me.”

“She wasn’t strict, perse,” Luca teases. “Just didn’t want to deal with our shit.”

“Because I dealt with it enough at the rink,” Amelie says. She brightens up momentarily when Jack shoves another cider in her hand. Without thinking, she presses a quick kiss on his cheek as a thank you. Luca, to his credit, just raises his eyebrows before Gavin beckons him elsewhere. 

She pokes at Jack’s chest. “You trying to loosen me up? You didn’t have to buy me another.”

“I told you to go crazy, didn’t I?”

“I think I’ve spotted three people here who went to my high school.”

Jack just raises an eyebrow casually. “No shit. Did you say hi?”

Amelie snorts. “No.”

“Why not?”

She gives him a look and realizes he doesn’t understand. She doesn’t want to get into it. “I just don’t feel like it.”

“You sure?” He nods at something behind her and she turns around, making eye contact with Carina. 

She turns back around to face Jack again. “I’m sure.”

(She’s not. She’s not sure about anything all of a sudden. It’s starting to feel like too much for her. But that’s not Jack’s problem to deal with)

“Okay,” he stops pushing. “Who should we tackle talking to next?”

“Didn’t know this was a team effort,” she teases lightly, the weight on her shoulders deflating by the second. 

He readjusts his hair under his hat with a roguish grin. “Hey. I dragged you here. And these are mostly Luke’s friends. Of course we’re in this together.”

She rolls her eyes. Because he’s a liar. But she humors him, nodding over to a group consisting of Rutger, his girlfriend Kayleigh, Nolan, Mackie and Mark. “They seem safe.” Jack snorts, but obliges, letting her lead the way. 

More time passes, and Amelie’s buzzed. Jack mutters in her ear that they’re probably gonna head out within the next 20 minutes or so, which she could’ve predicted, as their crowd is getting smaller and smaller. Adam already smacked a kiss on her cheek as a farewell. She figures she should probably go pee before the drive back. 

After a quick trip to the bathroom, she walks out and pauses suddenly in her tracks. She watches a girl blatantly flirt with Jack, which is fine, it is. The frog she has in her throat isn’t anything. The prickling she feels in her spine is because of the heat, not because of the girl’s hand placed on his bicep. She can’t even let herself feel any sort of satisfaction when Jack casually shifts himself a bit away from her politely. 

It suddenly all hits her in the face. It’s like the bubble she’s been living in for the last however many days has immediately popped. 

Of course he’s being flirted with. This probably happens everytime he goes out. How could she be so stupid?

Jack’s never going to be anything more than a friend. He’s based out of New Jersey for most of the year — which, to be fair, Amelie might also be in a few months, which he still doesn’t know — and Amelie’s 99% sure it just wouldn’t work. They’re too…he’s him and she’s who she is and this isn’t how it all works. 

Sure, she kissed him first. But she didn’t mean for it to go this far. And sure, he kissed her back. But he’s one of the biggest up and coming superstars in the league that she’s about to work for. To some degree, she knows how this is gonna end. She’s lived through it. 

(Sometimes, she’s relieved that MLB never got back to her. The idea of having to photograph Cooper almost makes bile creep up her throat._

She has to stop this before it crashes at their feet.

Amelie takes a deep breath and straightens her shoulders, before making her way back to Jack. He looks towards her and brightens up, excusing himself from the girl before jumping off his stool with her jacket she asked him to hold while she went to the bathroom. 

“Ready to go?” He mutters. 

Amelie nods stiffly. “Where are the others?”

“I told them to wait by the car. Do you need to say goodbye to anybody else?” 

She looks around. “No. I did my rounds before I went to the bathroom.” He hums and she follows him out of the bar. ignoring his outstretched hand. 

(She misses the flash of hurt that passes by Jack’s eyes. But it’s gone as quickly as it came) 

“Thanks again for coming with me,” Jack says, his voice suddenly sounding so loud contrasting with the quiet Ann Arbor air. “Really. I know it’s not your scene but I appreciate it anyways.”

“You’re welcome,” she says, hoping he doesn’t pick up on her sudden change of mood. 

He does, furrowing his eyebrows. “Is everything alright?”

“Fine. Everything is fine.”

“You’re lying to me.”

She doesn’t quite snap back, but it’s close enough to it. “How would you know that?” 

He blanches slightly, but they’re at the car. So he just wordlessly opens the door for her. She smiles softly at Ethan, who ruffles her hair from the back and snorts at Dylan and Luke, who are sleeping with their mouths wide open. 

The drive goes by extremely quickly yet painfully slow at the same time. Amelie actively avoids eye contact with Jack, busying staring out her window and making mindless conversation with Ethan. If he feels the tension. he ignores it. 

Jack pulls up to his place first, rolling his eyes as Luke, Dylan and Ethan clamber into the house. As soon as the door shuts, Jack turns to her. She reluctantly turns to him.

“Are you okay?” His eyes hold so much concern. It makes Amelie bite her lip. “And please be honest with me.”

“I’m fine, Jack,” she croaks out. She’s a bit tipsy. She’s very tired. Her resolve is crumbling fast. She feels like she’s running out of time. “I think I’m just overstimulated.”

“I’ll drive you home,” he says softly. He places a gentle kiss on her forehead and it takes everything in Amelie not to let her eyes tear up. 

He’s barely backed out of his driveway when she can’t take it anymore. “Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils.”

Silence. “What?” He says.

“Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils,” she repeats, trying to keep her voice steady. “Those are the teams I’m covering.”

He parks in her grandparents’ driveway, killing the engine. “Did you just find this out today?”

She squeezes her eyes shut. “No. I’ve known since I got the official offer.”

The silence washes over her like the most destructive tidal wave. “You lied to me?” He whispers. 

“I’m so-”

“Why did you lie to me?” He asks in a hurt voice. 

“Jack-”

“Were you ever gonna tell me?” She snaps her mouth shut. That gives him his answer. He swallows roughly, running a hand through his hair. “So what? You were gonna just walk in during media day and pretend we haven’t met before?”

“That’s not fair,” she manages to get out. 

“Pretend we haven’t kissed before?” Jack presses on.

That makes the fire in Amelie’s stomach flame. “We’ve known each other for like, a month, Jack. I don’t owe you anything.”

He scoffs. “You don’t think so?” She flinches at his harsh tone and he softens a bit with a sigh. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.”

There’s plenty of reasons why. Many of which Amelie doesn’t want to say out loud. She settles for: “I mean, would it have mattered?” Her voice cracks. “You were always going to go back to Jersey and I was always gonna leave Michigan and whatever this was would’ve only lasted for so long.”

“Whatever this is?” Jack repeats, tilting his head back against the headrest in frustration. “So what? You thought that we’d go back to our regular lives and all of this would just…be forgotten?”

“I don’t know,” she says, frustrated. 

“But you clearly thought about it.”

“Of course I did,” she squeezes her eyes shut. “Jack, you’re…you’re Jack Hughes. I don’t necessarily care about it like that but I know you have a franchise on your shoulders and you’re the best of the best and we met under weird coincidences and I’m glad we have, believe me, but this always had a timer on it.”

“What exactly is ‘this?’” The roughness in his voice has Amelie simultaneously feeling like she wants to cry and scream. Jack laughs humorlessly. “And it’s funny you bring up all that shit now, considering you never for once cared about who I was and all of that since the day we met.”

“I don’t care,” Amelie insists. “In fact, it’s probably the thing about you I care the least about, in the nicest way possible. But whether we both like it or not, it’s a huge part of who you are. And I don’t know if I…”

“If you?”

“If I have a place in your life when it comes to that.”

“Because of what I do? Because of my job?”

Amelie scoffs. “Stop trying to underplay what you do and the impact you have on the league, Jack. I may have just met you a month ago but I, in some way, work in the same fucking industry you do. I’m not stupid.”

“I know you’re not stupid,” he rolls his eyes. “You’re probably one of the smartest people I’ve met in my life. I’m not trying to underplay anything. At the end of the day, hockey is just my job. LIke photography is yours. I don’t see how that has anything to do with us.”

“Well, maybe that’s exactly the problem.”

Jack huffs. “It’s my life. Shouldn’t I have a say in if I want you in it or not?”

And sure, Amelie thinks, Jack has a point, but so does she, even if she’s not explaining it well. She turns in her seat to fully face him and tries a different angle. Tries to get him to understand. “Have you thought about this at all? Like, sat down and really thought about what’s gonna happen when we both leave Michigan? Jack, you know I don’t want to come back unless I have to.”

“What does that have to do with us at all?”

“Jack,” she deadpans. “You love this place. You feel the most comfortable here, you told me that yourself. All I want to do is get out here and all you want to do is stay.” She deflates. “You really didn’t think about the future of any of this?”

“Yes! No. Maybe?” Jack raises his voice in frustration. “I just-I enjoyed, enjoy, spending time together. You kind of make me forget how to think when I’m around you in the best way possible. And I want to be around you all the time. Isn’t that enough?”

“I still don’t even know what we are! Friends? Friends who kiss sometimes? Dating? Hooking up because it’s convenient?”

He blanches. It’s the most hurt he’s looked this whole conversation. “Amelie-” he whispers.

“I know I’m being unfair, but please try to understand my reasoning,” she wipes her tears with the sleeve of her top. “I was already up for this job before I met you. And then I met you. And then I thought, oh, maybe I do care about where I end up. Wouldn’t that be nice and convenient? But we’ve known each other for a month. And I’m not gonna let someone I’ve only known for so long dictate the start of this really important moment for me.”

“I wouldn’t have ever asked you to do that,” Jack says meekly. “I know how important your career is to you.”

“And I believe that,” Amelie softens with a swallow. They’re not getting anywhere productive. “I-I’m sorry, Jack. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“But you did,” he says. He runs his hand roughly through his hair again. The curls are beginning to become very unruly.  “Was this whole month just, I don’t know, were we not on the same page?”

“Maybe we weren’t,” she bites her quivering lip. “I like you, Jack. I do. But I can’t…I can’t do this. Us. Whatever this is.”

Silence, before his voice cracks. “Now or ever?” 

“I don’t know,” she sniffles. “I’m sorry.” She cries, rubbing her eyes roughly with the palms of her hand. She knows this is all her fault. She knows this isn’t the only thing he kept from him. She knows that she’s been cautious telling him important things about herself this whole time, where he’s been nothing but fearless and honest. She knows she fucked up. 

But she can’t say any of that out loud. He wouldn’t get it. And maybe she doesn’t really want him to. Isn’t ready for him to

She feels his hand on her cheek, which causes her to cry harder, her tears falling cascading onto his fingers. Through blurry vision, she can see him swallowing roughly. “Can I say one last thing?”

She can’t help but let out a weak laugh. “Sure.”

“A few weeks ago, you asked me if the top was a lonely place to be. And you know, it can be a lot,” he admits. Her heart aches at how vulnerable he’s being. “My brothers and teammates and friends understand mostly, but it’s not the same. Y-you’re the first person in a long time who's made me feel like it doesn’t have to be lonely.”

That causes Amelie to cry even harder. Every part of her is fighting her to fight for him. To keep groveling, even though it doesn’t even seem like he wants that, which is somehow even more heartbreaking. To fill in the gaps for him about why she can’t fully let go and let him in. But she can’t. “I-I’m sorry I lied to you. And I’m sorry it had to be this way,” she croaks out.

“Me too,” he says, backing away slightly. She misses his touch instantly. “I-I’ll give you some space and n-not contact you for awhile. Um, you have my number. When…if you ever wanna reach me, you know how to.”

Her heart splices in half completely. She’s the one who lied to him and he’s the one offering space. Amelie knows she’s selfish for asking her final question, but she does it anyways. “And you’d pick up?”

Jack laughs with a watery smile, “Every time.”

It takes all her willpower to not kiss him one last time. She unbuckles her seatbelt and rushes into her grandparents house. She closes the front door and leans her back on it, sliding down and muffles her cries into her hand. 

day thirty three - jack 

Everything hurts. 

That’s the first thing Jack thinks when his eyes blearily open with the sun. His eyes hurt from crying too many freaking times the last few days. His ribs hurt from where Luke checked him into the boards yesterday. It wasn’t even a particularly hard hit, but Jack’s head was anywhere but the ice and he didn’t see it coming until it was too late. 

And his heart just…hurts. 

Luckily, they have the day off today so he can sulk without feeling too guilty. Maybe he’ll take the boat out into the water by himself and just lay there. He hears some voices downstairs and squeezes his eyes shut to try and decipher them. Quinn, Luke, Dylan and Ethan. The latter two obviously don’t know him as well, but Jack knows them well enough that they’d probably actually be really nice about Jack’s situation. Especially because Ethan’s close to…yeah.

Jack launches himself out of bed, quickly brushes his teeth and splashes some water in his face before stumbling downstairs, his pace faster once he smells a fresh pot of coffee. 

“Mornin’” Jack croaks out, nodding at Dylan and Ethan who are sitting around the island with Quinn, who just slaps his shoulder in greeting. Luke wordlessly pours out a mug for him and Jack smiles at him gratefully. 

“You look like shit,” Luke says bluntly. Jack would face wash him for that if he had the energy. And if he was wrong. 

“Luke.” Quinn chastises. 

Jack waves his older brother off. “It’s fine. He’s right.” His eye catches the sight of an envelope at the end of the table. “What’s that?”

It’s silent for a few seconds too long until Ethan clears his throat. “Uh, Amelie said she developed the shots for her film camera. Dropped some by that she said you guys might want.” 

Jack swallows with a curt nod, chugging the whole cup of coffee in one go. He nods at Luke to pour him more. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Quinn asks tentatively. 

Immediately, Jack wants to shoot that down. But then he looks up, and he sees all four of them looking at him with varying degrees of worry in their eyes. Jack shoves down the instinct to avoid — like he’s been doing the last few days. “I don’t even know where to start.” He whispers.

“Anywhere that makes sense to you.” Quinn suggests, because Quinn’s always been the one who directs. Who guides. 

So Jack lets it all out. He talks about how he purposefully didn’t want to cling to her all night because he didn’t want to come off that way but how he couldn’t take his eyes off her no matter where she was in the room. He talks about how beautiful she looked (“I mean, you guys aren’t stupid. That top with her eyes? Lethal combo.”) and how he had a moment where he felt like all was right in the world. He talks about that subtle shift in her mood after he lost her for a bit and how quiet she was in the car ride home. 

That’s the easy part. 

Jack inhales a muffin from a box that someone must’ve gotten this morning from the local bakery before continuing to recall him and Amelie’s conversation in the car after he dropped off everyone. When he drops the revelation that Amelie’s actually going to be around the Tri-State area covering the Rangers, Islanders, Flyers and the fucking Devils, all four of them look shocked, but don’t say anything. He talks about how his initial reaction was that he was hurt that she hadn’t told him because he thought that they had something going on between them. He talks about how he felt like the conversation escalated so quickly but also calmly because Amelie doesn’t raise her voice and Jack is not a yeller and how it almost would’ve been easier had they been screaming at each other. He talks about how he can’t really remember when Amelie started crying but how he can remember how he felt his stomach dropping to his feet when she did. He can barely remember how they fucking got there in the first place. 

Jack sniffles, hastily wiping his tears away before they can fully fall. “All I know is that I fucking made her cry and whatever we had is probably ruined, which is extremely fucking convenient considering I’m gonna be seeing her around during the season.”

“It’s not ruined,” Ethan speaks up after a few seconds of silence. 

Jack snorts. “No offense, man, But how would you know that for sure?”

“I know you two have gotten close in the last month or so, but besides that, I would argue that out of everyone here, I’m the closest with her.” And Jack swallows, because shit, Ethan has a point. Ethan continues. “Despite her lying to you and everything falling to pieces, it’s not ruined. Amelie isn’t like that. You have to really fuck up for her to cut you out.”

And like, yeah, Jack knows that, to a degree. But, “I don’t think she’s ever gonna wanna see me again.”

“Well, did you say anything that was particularly horrible?” Luke asks. 

Jack swallows. “No? Maybe I was snappy at some points, but I don’t think so”

“I mean, it’s fair,” Quinn says. “Even though it’s harsh, you were right to be mad about her lying to you.”

“Did I give off that impression that she couldn’t talk to me? Like yeah, we practically just met, but I feel like, I don’t know. I just don’t really get why she’d hide that from me.”

“I might have an idea,” the guys turn to Ethan as he swallows and debates something in his own head. “Uh, this is random, but hear me out. Did she ever tell you about her ex?”

“Which one?” Jack asks.

“Cooper Volt. Baseball player at Michigan. Drafted to the Mets, I think.”

“A bit but not much. Why?”

“Look, I’m not trying to, like, spill her secrets or anything. I think it just might put things in context.” Jack nods and Ethan sighs. “So basically, she was dating him, right? Pretty serious. Lasted for a little over a year. Anyways. I don’t know the details, but I know that the break-up wasn’t pretty. Or, I just assume it wasn’t, because I only found out they broke up after I saw Cooper with another girl on his arm and was confused and literally asked Amelie about it. Apparently, it had only been two weeks since they broke up and he had already gone out and found someone else?”

“What an asshole,” Dylan says, his first verbal participation in the conversation. He’s been munching on cheerios, intensely listening. Quinn’s eyebrows are furrowed in a way that only appears when he’s concerned or really pissed off and Jack’s kinda fuming that someone put her through that.

“Right? Yeah, so that’s that. And typical Amelie, you know, said she was fine and I knew that she had her own friends checking up on her.” Jack’s nodding, following on to his every word, even if a bit confused on where Ethan is going with this. “Okay. So, this is, our sophomore year, so her junior year. The seniors are hosting a party and we convince her to come for once. You know how those parties go. They get big. People are filtering in and out. I just remember coming to the kitchen to refill my drink and seeing Amelie looking so fucking dejected as Cooper and his new girl are talking to her.”

“Did you hear what they said?” Luke asks. 

“No, but I didn’t need to, not with that look in her eye,” Ethan scoffed. “I caught the tail-end of their conversation though, which, like, I don’t even wanna repeat, but it was basically Cooper just saying shit about how he never liked her anyways and he took a shot at her being bi? I don’t think I remember it quite accurately to be honest because the second I heard him say that shit I just saw red.”

“He threw the fact that she’s bi to her face?” Jack asks sharply. He’s trying his best not to throw his cup at the wall.

“Something like it,” Ethan says. “Yeah, I know. Absolute piece of shit. I kicked him and their friends out of the party, because, like, there was no fucking way they were staying.”

“How did I not know about this?” Luke asks. “I’m pretty sure I was at that party.”

“You were. If they had refused to leave or whatever or put up more of a fight, I would’ve gotten backup. But they didn’t. And you know Amelie. She begged me not to make a big deal out of it. So I just kept an eye on her for the rest of the night.” 

“That’s so shitty,” Quinn says softly. “Putting that against her. With his new girlfriend there too.”

“Yeah, but…anyways. The point is, a week or so after that I kinda caught her after a game or something and I drove her back to her place and she kinda exploded. Went on a whole rant about athletes and sports culture from what she’s observed and all that, which I’m not saying isn’t true, but basically, I think the situation with Cooper was kind of the nail on the coffin.”

“That what?” Luke asks. “All athletes suck?”

Ethan clears his throat. “I think getting fucked over by Cooper, and then meeting Jack and realizing she has feelings for him then thinking back to the last time this happened and how it ended…can you blame her for being a bit scared?”

“She should’ve told me she was covering the Devils when she found out where she was gonna be placed.” Jack says firmly, and he stands by it. 

“Probably,” Quinn agrees. “But Jacky, think about it. Even just some of the guys we’ve played with. Not saying they’re all assholes like this guy…it’s just, even if it’s unfair she might place you in the same category, that might be how she feels.” 

“She should’ve told me,” Jack repeats. He squeezes his eyes in frustration. 

“But did you tell her you were serious about her?” Luke says. Immediately, Jack wants to snap back at his younger brother, because he’s a pest and who is he to doubt Jack about his own fucking relationship, or lack thereof. But then, Jack realizes and a whole new pit appears in his stomach. 

“She kept interrupting me,” he whispers. As he puts his head in his hands, he misses the sympathetic looks the other guys exchange. “Fuck. I never-I should’ve been clearer.”

“Jack-”

“I should’ve made that clear from the start,,” Jack says as Luke immediately shuts his mouth. “She had to have known. She had to.” Jack swallows roughly. He’s not the smartest, but he knows now. She didn’t know. And he never clarified what she meant to him. 

“I’m sorry, Jack,” Ethan says softly. Jack just waves his apology away. This is all on him. He excuses himself, putting his dish and mug in the sink. 

“We’re heading out on the water later. You should come,” Quinn gently urges. Jack just nods, before clamoring up the stairs to take a shower or do something, anything to get rid of the feeling in his stomach. 

The feeling that he’s fucked it all up. 

day fifty six - amelie 

Amelie’s at the Prudential Center by 6:30 a.m. The players start rolling in just after 8, while she’s finishing up helping to set up equipment and lighting. She has two cameras on either shoulder and one hanging by her neck and she has a headband in her hair and she feels happy. She feels at home. 

She gets introduced to the guys that she’s been researching for a month now. All of them are pleasant and patient. She does let out a genuine smile when Luke reaches out for a hug in greeting. What happened between her and Jack has nothing to do with him, and she hopes he knows that as she gives him an extra squeeze before pulling away.

When she introduces herself to the captain, she swears there’s a spark of recognition that flashes through Nico’s eyes, but it leaves just as quick as it came. Within their first few minutes of conversation, she concludes that Nico is almost unfairly kind. No wonder Jack loves him. 

It’s 10:19 a.m., and she still hasn’t seen Jack yet. She knows he’s scheduled in for his on-ice media shots sometime in the late morning. She purposefully didn’t grab herself a second cup of coffee after finishing her first one. She can’t be shaking when she’s trying to get pictures of him. 

Jack comes in and shakes everyone’s hand. He just waves at her with a polite smile and she waves back, her stomach dropping. They can play it off as Amelie being across the ice and too far, but in reality, she’s not sure if she would try to fake a handshake and pretend they’ve never met, hug him and never let go, or do something incredibly fucking stupid like kiss him. 

He looks so handsome. He must’ve cut his hair recently, in a shorter style that makes him so carefree and young. 

His stuff takes around 20 minutes, and she doesn’t really have to talk to him, instead just taking direction from Mira, head photographer / videographer.

He’s not directly interacting with her, but she feels her stomach swirling and her palms sweat, causing the camera to almost slip out of her grasp multiple times. She wants to smile at the comfort he brings her just from being near him and wants to cry at how they left things in her grandparents’ driveway. At how bad she still feels for lying to him. At how much she’s missed him, as pathetic as it sounds.

It’s neither of their faults that things fell to pieces the way they did. But now, as she snaps a silhouette shot of Jack, she’s deathly afraid that this is just what it’s gonna be. 

Jack’s the last one before lunch, so while everyone is taking their lunch break, Amelie takes a few moments to head to an empty room. She braces her hands on a table and takes three deep breaths. Her heart is beating fast. Her mind is starting to get away from her. She needs to focus. She cannot fall apart at work.

“Amelie?” She whips around to see Jack, dressed back in his Devils hoodie and shorts, looking at her in concern. 

She wipes her sweaty hands on her jeans. “Jack. Hey. Can I help you with something?”

“No,” Jack shuffles into the room. “I just heard your sighs. I- I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

It feels like she has molasses in her throat, but she manages to respond. “I’m okay. Thanks.”

“Okay. Good.” 

He’s about to walk out of the room but her brain thinks before her mouth. “Jack!” He turns back around and she takes a breath.

“Yeah?” His face is unreadable. 

She forces herself to keep eye contact. “Would you wanna maybe grab dinner or something?”

Jack blinks. Amelie wonders if he’s ever been rendered speechless. His voice doesn’t give anything away either. “Like, on a date?” She nods. Her stomach is dropping and she feels shame cripple up her spine until-”

“Yes.”

Her stomach drops, but for an entire different reason. “Really?” She asks in a small voice

“Of course,” His eyes glow and the light smirk on his face doesn’t feel arrogant. It feels light. Fond, even. “That sounds..perfect.”

“Oh, okay.” She whispers and her throat closes up as he steps closer. 

“I’ll text you?”

“I’ll text you.”

He smiles brightly, and she can’t help but smile back. She’s missed that smile so much. “Okay,” he whispers. “I can’t wait.”

“Thank you,” she croaks out. “I’m sorry about…well. I’m sorry.” 

Jack chuckles, and it makes her heart feel a bit lighter. He gingerly grabs both her hands, looking right into her eyes as he brings them up to his lips and kisses them softly. She bites her lip, overwhelmed. “Nothing to be sorry for,” he says. “Promise.” 

“Jack,” she whispers. 

He walks backwards shyly, but his eyes stay on hers stubbornly. “You know, with you, it’s always gonna be a yes.”

“Jack.”

He just winks. Amelie’s breath hitches. “I’ll see you later, Amelie.”

She smiles as he walks out of her sight. 

~*~*~

tag list (lmk if you wanna be a part of it!): @ru-kru

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Id love to see how DOG! Konig actually first saw Reader or even when he knew he fell in love with her <3

König saw reader first time on TV :)

It was one of those boring moments when the latest mission was done and he was coming down from his adrenaline/testosterone/cortisol high, channel surfing at the base with a blank stare.

He passed this one channel that never had anything worthwhile to watch, except this time—wait a minute—there’s some cute girl whipping egg whites there. He changed the channel out of habit but immediately changed it back again, his eyes boring to the screen where this woman was making lemon tartlets.

He pays attention to the nice voice… Nice lips… Her hands, very delicate when she decorates each tart with raspberries and mint leaves. It’s always hot in his opinion when a girl prepares dinner or dessert, and this cutie is doing both. She has a sad smile and a pair of depressed eyes, her body language reminds him of tortured prisoners on the brink of confession. The despair in her eyes resembles the look on women just before they cum, and it drives him fucking nuts.

She’s fucking perfect… So weak, just a poor little thing who’s trying to hide, probably hates the camera and her audience, every small prick she has to work for and with.

König binges her whole show within a few days from some streaming service, even faps during or after watching – just a few times because in a few episodes, they filmed her breasts and hands a lot, although it must be said it’s that helpless look in her eyes that truly makes him cum hard… He fantasizes about arriving at her studio with his guns blazing, wondering how she would react when he stains her cute little tarts with blood. How she would react when she sees a big, able man come to take what’s his – would she kneel and beg him to save her life, or would she gasp and look like a stupefied goldfish when he pulls his dick out after the bloodbath and tells her to give it a kiss?

Next thing he does is he googles her, finds a few articles in some lousy girl magazine where she mentions she has “learned to make peace with solitude” and that “time spent alone feels good nowadays”. Ja, sicher! Poor little thing is lying her eyes out, anyone can see that. She tries so hard to be brave, looks so fuckable when she sighs and looks down at the food she just made like it’s the only thing in this world she can do right. Just cook some food and decorate dumb pastries, looking like a spoiled little princess while she’s doing it.

He gets his hands on the actual, physical articles and keeps them in his locker because they include pictures of her. Finds her on social media and looks at her Instagram feed first time in the morning and last time before bed, chuckling to himself from how pathetic she is, so fucking desperate to get attention... He has a collection of screenshots on his phone: one of his favourites is, surprisingly, not a picture of her delicious ass, trying another dumb hobby that’s supposed to be trendy. It’s the one where she’s smiling at a big mug of coffee in front of her, looking like a cute little kitten who’s been offered a treat. Or her on the beach with a big straw hat on her head, looking at the waves and smiling a big, silly smile, her worries forgotten for a moment. Her at a party, all dolled up and practically begging to get fucked, holding the waist of some weak civilian he could kill with one punch.

But his ultimate favourite is a selfie she took while she was out on a walk. She’s without her makeup, wearing a simple old faded t-shirt, looking up at the camera with a fake smile and those sad, pleading eyes, silently begging for someone to take the pain away. She’s unprotected, and lonely, so pitiful that König would do anything to teleport beside her right now and haul her away like a sack of whimpering potatoes thrown over his shoulder.

Is no one going to fucking come to her rescue and spoil her to bits, is no one going to fuck those dumb little thoughts out of her head? What the fuck is wrong with men these days, he doesn’t understand, but he’s not going to watch this ridiculous shit for a moment longer…

(If you asked König when he realized he was in love with her, he would answer it was love at first sight. Or… maybe… that one time when she asked where she put the cream. She was talking to herself while the cameras were rolling, looking helpless, lost, and dumb because she literally had one job... König found that very endearing.)

[seiya-starsniper]

For the blossoming romance asks: 18? 💜

Cecccciillllllll thank you for this lovely ask, I had so much fun writing it 💖💖

Bit early for Saturday, but this fill does kind of fulfill the prompt "Touch Starved" for Dreamling Week too 👀

blossoming romance writing prompts

--------

hello/goodbye hugs that linger

Hob Gadling, Dream has found, is rather fond of hugging. 

At the end of a long night spent conversing at The New Inn, Hob had wistfully asked Dream “a hundred years, then?” perhaps expecting the same answer Dream had provided him for the last 600 years. But his time imprisoned has changed him, and so Dream instead says, 

“I’ve heard that friends meet more often than merely once a century.”

The smile on Hob’s face grows slowly. It starts with surprise and wonder, a slight quirk of the lips, as if the immortal cannot believe what he has just heard. Then it grows into a blinding thing, full of teeth and unrestrained joy.

“Next week then?” Hob asks. “Perhaps next Saturday at 7pm?”

Dream thinks of his duties, of all the rebuilding he must do for his realm, of the still missing dreams and nightmares, and the vortex that is threatening to destroy the very fabric of the universe.

“I believe I shall be able to make it,” Dream answers, a small smile creeping up his own face.

“Wonderful!” Hob exclaims. “I shall see you here again, then.”

When they stand to depart the pub, Dream finds himself suddenly enveloped in warmth and the smell of old wood smoke and beer. He freezes, uncertain at first of what is happening until realization dawns upon him seconds later. 

Hob is hugging him.

Dream does not know for how long Hob embraces him, but it is over too soon for his liking when the man releases Dream from his hold.

“Sorry, probably should have asked first if you were the hugging type,” Hob says, suddenly shy and refusing to meet Dream’s eyes.

“I…I am not sure that I am,” Dream answers honestly. “It has been some time since someone last held me. At least a century, if not more.”

Hob’s eyebrows raise suddenly, alarm written all over his face.

“There’s a story behind that, isn’t there?” he asks, and Dream can feel the ache in Hob’s voice as he voices the question.

Dream nods. “I am not ready to tell it, yet. Perhaps next week. Or the week after.”

“However long you need,” Hob reassures him. “I’m not going anywhere, my friend.”

On the evening before their next meeting, Dream is exhausted. He has unmade his favorite creation, killed a dream vortex, fought with his favorite arcana, and discovered his sibling had intervened in his realm in a petty attempt at sibling rivalry. All within the span of a week.

—

It is. A lot.

Dream considers canceling their meeting. Reaching out to Hob in a dream and asking to postpone their appointment until Dream can collect himself and feel less unmoored.

But Saturday comes, and Dream finds himself standing just outside The New Inn, contemplating why he has not yet entered.

“My friend!” he hears from directly behind him.

Dream turns and there Hob is, dressed in an outfit similar but not exactly the same as the one he wore last week. The brown leather jacket is the same, as are the shoes, but his trousers are a different color and he’s wearing some sort of graphic tee shirt instead of a plain white one. 

“Hello Hob,” Dream greets, trying his best to smile, despite his exhaustion.

Hob’s brow furrows. “Are you all right, my friend?” he asks, concerns clear in the tone of his voice.

“I am…fine,” Dream answers though he is anything but.

Hob huffs disbelievingly. “No, I don’t think you are,” he says. “Ah fuck it.”

Hob pulls Dream into his arms and Dream gasps at their sudden closeness. Hob still smells like old wood smoke, and Dream wonders if this is his natural scent, or if it is some sort of cologne he wears, whose purpose is to drive Dream to madness with how much he wants to inhale it. 

Dream’s exhaustion lowers his inhibitions, and before he can think better of it, he finds himself wrapping his arms around Hob’s back and burrowing his face into the other man’s shoulder. He thinks the wood smoke smell is strongest here, in Hob’s jacket, and he wonders what Hob has done to imprint this smell into the material. 

“There, there,” Hob says, rubbing smooth circles into Dream’s back. “I’ve got you, old friend. I have you. I’m here.”

Dream finds himself clinging to Hob, perhaps more than is socially acceptable amongst humans, but the other man doesn’t seem to mind. They stand there, just holding one another, until a bar patron from inside emerges, forcing them to break apart and move away from the entryway to the pub.

“I don’t think the pub is the best place for our meeting tonight,” Hob says, once the other person is out of sight. “My flat is not too far from here, if you don’t mind a walk? I’ve got a bottle of mead old as Queen Elizabeth herself in the fridge. I think you may need it.”

“I believe,” Dream answers, his tongue heavy like molasses in his mouth, “that you may be correct.”

Hob smiles. “And I can hug you all you want in the privacy of my living room.”

“I would like that,” Dream says, and finds that he means it. Already his heart is lighter after Hob’s embrace, and perhaps it will grow lighter still, with each subsequent one, given freely, by his oldest friend.

[farity]

Sorrow, part 11

The moment Aemond saw Ser Criston's face, he felt fear invading every part of him.

"Where is my wife?"

"My prince, I walked inside-"

"WHERE IS MY WIFE!" Aemond shouted, standing up, fists on the desk.

Criston, eyes defeated, simply said. "Rhaenyra has princess Elyse."

* * * * *

It was dark in her cell. Nothing as horrible as the dungeons her late husband had thrown her in occasionally, but still, a cell was a cell, even without rats.

She saw someone approaching and curled herself against the corner.

"He took my son, and now he's taken my husband," came Rhaenyra's soft voice. "It is too much to bear," she added, voice breaking. "That family has taken everything from me." She stared at Elyse for a few moments, than turned back and left.

Elyse could not imagine, of course, the losses that Rhaenyra had endured. She was supposed to be queen, until she wasn't, and she had lost her father, her baby, her son, and her husband in quick succession.

It was enough to drive anyone to madness.

She just hoped that she could reunite with Aemond before Rhaenyra gave in to her rage.

A servant came in, sliding a tray under the bars, and as much as Elyse wondered if it was poisoned, she was so hungry that she dove in. It was dry bread, ale, and some kind of slop, but she'd eaten worse, and less, in her old life, so she ate everything, figuring she would be needing her strength from then on.

* * * * *

"Aemond, you cannot go to Dragonstone, it is precisely what she wants." Alicent placed her hand on her son's arm, and found him pulling away from her touch.

"I understand not caring for your spouse is what we do in this family, but once again, I take a different road, mother." He was donning armor, letting his personal servant adjust the ties and clasps. "I will kill that bitch once and for all."

Alicent looked down It was never supposed to happen this way. Aegon was destined to be king and it was supposed to be a golden, glorious reign. Now he was bed-ridden, his mind dulled and his legs destroyed, his beautiful face half burned. Helaena didn't seem to care much, always having been in a world of her own, but she did love her children and that meant a lot to Alicent.

Aemond, who had been an outcast for so long within his own family, and was now cursed as a kinslayer, wore Aegon's crown and his impetuousness had now landed him a wife.

Alicent had spoken to her maester before this all happened. She would have him examine Elyse, find out if the young woman was telling the truth about being unable to bear children.

* * * * *

It was difficult to sleep with only your arm for a pillow. Not that she hadn't done it before, but between the cold that seeped in, the worry about what would happen to her and Aemond, and every little noise making her jump, Elyse couldn't get more than a few minutes' rest at a time.

Rhaenyra had not come back in a long time. Neither had anyone else, and she was hungry again. She'd found a bucket in the corner to relieve herself in but felt grubby and sticky and if she got out of this place she would spent a long time in the nearest body of water, washing off the filth that surrounded her.

Had it all been a dream? Her time with Aemond? The soft words, the loving touches, would she ever feel them again, or was she destined to die, forgotten to all, in this hell hole? Would she ever feel his arms around her, his lips on hers, the weight of him pressing her into their bed? She could almost feel his hair on his fingertips if she closed her eyes. She would not forget. She would endure, and she would find her way back to him.

* * * * *

Vhagar raged, her anger echoing that of her rider's. Aemond guided the great dragon over the home of his half-sister, heard the answering roar of Syrax. He could not risk an attack without knowing where Elyse was, and so he landed by the great doors of Dragonstone and made his way inside.

There were no guards, no one between him and the figure that sat on the throne, the crown of Jaeherys atop her head.

"I have been waiting for you, brother."

"Where is my wife?"

"It is time for you to answer for your many sins."

Aemond gritted his teeth at her tone. "There shall be plenty of time for that in the seven hells that await me, sister. Now, I want my wife brought to me."

Rhaenyra stood, took the few steps down from the dais until she was but a few feet from him. "You took my son from me, my sweet boy," she said quietly, "and now you have taken my husband."

"And his whore," Aemond snarled. "I thought you'd be grateful for that."

"I loved him!"

"Clearly, it wasn't mutual."

Rhaenyra turned to the side. "Guard!"

As Aemond watched, a guard walked in from a side door, holding Elyse's arm. She looked terrified, pale, but when she looked at him she managed a small smile.

"Wife," he said, "I am here to take you home."

"I am delighted to hear that, husband."

The guard stopped far enough from Aemond that he clenched his fists at his side, wanting nothing more than to grab Elyse.

"It is due to my mercy that your wife lives, Aemond, mercy you do not deserve for you had none for mine. But my mercy is not limitless, and-"

"Your wretch of a son should have been punished for what he did to me," Aemond snapped, "but you were too busy pretending your bastards were true, pretending calling them as they were was worse than Luke taking my eye. This is all our father's fault."

"Father's biggest mistake was marrying Alicent," Rhaenyra countered. "He had an heir, there was no need for more children. But now I present you with a choice, brother."

Aemond said nothing, his eye darting between his sister and his wife. Elyse looked at him, her hands clasped together as the guard continued to hold her arm.

"Bend the knee. Pledge your loyalty and your dragon to me, and I will give you your wife back."

"No, Aemond."

He turned to Elyse, who was shaking her head.

"Do not do it."

"Be quiet," Rhaenyra spat, "or I shall cut your pretty head from your body!"

Aemond lunged at his sister, and froze when he saw the guard put a blade to Elyse's throat. He would tear Rhaenyra to pieces with his bare hands if she dared harm his wife. It was time to end this charade, he thought.

"Wait," he said, and took a step back.

A moment later, the guard made a gurgling sound and Elyse screamed.

Rhaenyra turned, and saw Ser Criston Cole step around the dying guard, pulling his blade out of the back of the man's neck. "You're safe, princess," he said, and Elyse ran to Aemond.

"Guards!"

"Don't bother, princess," Ser Criston said to Rhaenyra, "they're all dead. You really should hire a better quality of soldier."

* * * * *

While Cole and his men secured Dragonstone, Aemond kept his arms around Elyse, kissing her hair while she simply pressed herself against him.

"Were you harmed?"

"No," she replied, "other than keeping me from you, no." She pulled back, her fingers ghosting along the planes of his face. "I'm sorry I smell," she smiled weakly.

Aemond shook his head. "I have you back," he pressed his lips to hers. "I will make her pay for daring to lay a hand on you."

"Can we go home?" she asked, and as much as Aemond wanted to do just that, he had unfinished business with Rhaenyra.

He brushed his lips against hers again. "Soon, wife. Stay with Ser Criston." He felt the momentary panic as she gripped him tightly, but then she stepped back, and let him go.

"Ser Criston," he said as he walked to where his sister sat on the steps of the dais, his men on each side of her. "With your life."

"My prince," Cole said simply, and nodded.

Aemond walked toward Rhaenyra, taking his time.

"It is time for you to answer for your many sins."

* * * * * *

[pesky--dust]

I love Chiyoh, but I feel like in a lot of fanfics she is portrayed as horribly cold, emotionless and she doesn't like Will and would do everything to protect Hannibal from him. We don't know much about her, practically as much as nothing, but I'll allow myself an amateur analysis of her person. 

(I spent too much time to read scripts of episodes with her). In inverted commas I placed dialogues and italicized the descriptions from the script. I also added screenshots of scripts, if I felt the need to. In bold letters I wrote the titles of the episodes I discussed and the summary of the whole post, because it turned out to be much longer than I expected. 

Secondo:

We meet Chiyoh in Secondo when Will went to Lithuania to better understand Hannibal. She is an excellent shooter and has a very good intuition — being watched by Will while hunting, she realizes that something has changed on the property (Something is off in this place she knows so well.). 

When she finally meets Will, who tells her he's Hannibal's friend, Chiyoh dips [shotgun’s barrel] slightly, either in hesitation or relief., but when he tells, he is looking for him, she raises the barrel again. She is apparently surprised that Will knows about Mischa, which shows the fragment of the script:

Chiyoh also asks Will how he knows Hannibal and when she hears his answer, she comes to the right conclusion:

Then Chiyoh asks Will to tell his story. We don't know exactly what Will told her, but he must have said something that made her react that way:

Finally she comments his story with: “Hannibal took someone from you, are you here to take someone from him?”, so I guess it's safe to assume Will told her about Abigail, but probably without details about complicated relationship between him, Abigail and Hannibal.

She tells she can understand Hannibal, because he is doing what has been done to Mischa. So she rather knows about killing and cannibalism, however I guess she has no idea about the fact that Hannibal ate his own sister, but about that a little bit later. In my opinion she sees Hannibal's actions as a coping mechanism to deal with what has happened to Mischa (and it wouldn't be wrong, people deal with trauma in different ways).

As I mentioned before, Chiyoh has perfect intuition and realizes that Will is similar to Hannibal (“You're nakama. Aren't you alike?”) and that he thought about killing and eating her (“You've given that some thought.”). Here is a script of that moment:

Will tells her also infamous: “I've never known myself as well as I know myself when I'm with him.” and Chiyoh’s reaction is: She considers that, recognizing the feeling.

Choyoh tells Will her story — she didn’t let Hannibal take the life of Misha's killer, so he left the prisoner's life in her hands. There is a dialog:

Not only Hannibal is curious if Chiyoh would kill the prisoner — Will is also curious, so he frees the prisoner. Prisoner, overwhelmed by the freedom he regained after twenty-five years (Outside for the first time in twenty-five years, the man shivers with terror.), returns to his cell and attacks Chiyoh, when he gains an opportunity to do so. Feeling life slipping away, Chiyoh drives a pheasant bone into the man's neck, eventually killing him, which results with: She does what she has always resisted and deliberately kills the caged man. He slumps and falls off her. She lies still for a moment, then lets out a SCREAM.

She knows Will is responsible for that and tells him that, but the shock of what she did caused also dialogue, in which she begins to wonder if Hannibal lied to her about what happened to his sister:

She decides to help Will to find Hannibal, because she had no reason to stay in Lithuania after killing that man.

Contorno:

On the train, Chiyoh tells Will how she came to meet Hannibal, how they played together as children and Hannibal was, “charming the way a cub is charming, a small cub that grows up to be like one of the big cats.”, with Will commenting, “One you can't play with later.”.

Will talks to her about the prisoner she killed. He asks if she sees herself killing that man, to which Chiyoh responds she does not see herself, but him:

When they are getting ready to bed, they are also talking and the dialogue I'm pasting in the next paragraph, makes me think that Chiyoh, despite living twenty-five years in solitude, can read people like Hannibal like an open book. Will says that violence can be used to control behavior, and Chiyoh notices that Hannibal is affecting Will and wonders if Will is also affecting Hannibal. She also realizes that Will wants to kill Hannibal because he fears otherwise he will become like Hannibal, so she comments with the words, “There are means of influence other than violence.”.

Later she repeats words, “There are means of influence other than violence.”, followed by:

(I really wanted to use that fragment of the script)

Dolce:

In this episode, Chiyoh introduces herself to Bedelia as Hannibal's family. She also tells Bedelia that they are like birds and that Hannibal puts them in cages, wondering what they will do.

When Bedelia asks her what she wants, Chiyoh answers, “I want to cage him.”. Bedelia tells her that she thought that the biggest Hannibal's mistake was Will Graham but maybe it's Chiyoh.

The next time we see Chiyoh, she shoots Will. While treating Will's gunshot wound, Hannibal tells Will that Chiyoh has always been protective of him and is delighted that she, not Will, killed the prisoner.

Later Chiyoh gets into the elevator where Jack is. Realizing that Jack is going to the same floor as she and that the man is watching her suspiciously, Chiyoh tells him, she has mistook the floor and leaves.

Digestivo:

This is the last episode where Chiyoh appears. It is also the episode in which Chiyoh meets Jack Crawford. After Hannibal and Will got kidnapped and Jack is about to be killed, Chiyoh rescues him by killing corrupted police officers, because she thinks she should have done it (“I ought to. I should. Therefore, I must.”). 

At the same time, she apparently realizes that Jack must know both Hannibal and Will. She understands that when she's talking about Hannibal, she apparently must also talk about Will (“You're sitting at Hannibal's table. You know him. You know Will.”).

Jack sees that Chiyoh can be violent, when the situation demands it and being asked, to where Hannibal and Will were taken, he tells her, he will tell her that information if she take his IV away, so she does so. He tells her where to find them and assures her he won't interfere.

To save Hannibal, Chiyoh travels to the United States, to Maryland. There, on the Muskrat Farm, when Hannibal carries Will half-conscious in his arms and is followed by Mason Verger's employees, Chiyoh kills them to keep Hannibal safe.

Next time when we see Chiyoh, she is on the porch of Will's house, where she finally meets Hannibal again. Hannibal asks, if she will go home, if she can go home, to which Chiyoh replies, “No more than you can.”, which is followed by the dialogue:

Much of this dialogue did not end in the episode, but despite everything, Chiyoh has changed her mind and does not want to see Hannibal in the cage anymore. The words “I see the best of you and the worst with steady hands and a slow heart.” I understand as the fact that Chiyoh knows Hannibal, she knows his good and bad traits; she's not afraid of him, but she knows she should be careful and not put her gun down.

I come back also to the topic of her knowledge about Hannibal's actions. As I wrote, she rather didn't know about the fact that Hannibal ate Mischa and it's pretty clear in that moment. She asks him about it and is actually relieved he only ate and didn't kill his sister.

Hannibal’s words “The most stable elements, Chiyoh, appear in the middle of the periodic table, roughly between iron and silver. Between iron and silver. I think that is appropriate for you.” mean to me that even though she killed a man, she's still the same Chiyoh he knew, since she is violent only when situation demands is and she's still going to protect him. Despite what she did, she didn't betray herself, as he did after Misha's death — she's better than him.

The last time we see her is when Hannibal surrenders. She's pointing a rifle at the officers and Hannibal, ready to fire if the FBI wants to kill Hannibal on the spot. Eventually she goes into the woods. It's the last moment we see her, the last moment we hear about her.

Summary (tl;dr)

All in all, Chiyoh is an excellent shooter. She also has great intuition, because — even though she barely met Will Graham — she practically immediately realizes how similar he is to Hannibal. She knows Will and Hannibal must be close if Will knows about Mischa. She also knows Hannibal took away someone close to Will. However, she says she accepts Hannibal because he does what has been done to Mischa, his sister, whom he loved above all else. She sees herself as Hannibal's family, but cries, realizing that maybe Will knows more about Hannibal than she does, because she asks him if Hannibal lied to her about what happened to Mischa.

She had a strict rule not to take a human life, but she's forced to do so in order not to die herself. She wants to protect Hannibal, because he's probably the only family she has.

Her words that there are other means of influence other than violence and her kissing Will, I understand that seeing how identical he and Hannibal are and that Hannibal influences Will's behavior and Will influences Hannibal's behavior, Chiyoh wants to convince Will that he doesn't have to kill Hannibal because violence is not the only means of influencing people's behavior — it can be also love. In my opinion, that's why Chiyoh doesn't kill Will when he pulls out a knife to hurt Hannibal. She shoots him to simply disable him, to give him a chance to reconsider his decision to take Hannibal's life.

She also realizes that apparently when talking about Hannibal, she must also be talking about Will, because in a conversation with Jack, she points out that Jack knows both Hannibal and Will.

At first, she wanted to put Hannibal in a cage, but: 1) after hearing from Bedelia that she thought Hannibal's biggest mistake was Will Graham, and yet maybe his biggest mistake was rather Chiyoh; 2) and after the massacre at the Verger farm; Chiyoh changed her mind.

I think it might have something to do with Jack's words, “I know them. They are identically different, Hannibal and Will.”, and with Bedelia's statement that she thought Will was Hannibal's the biggest mistake, and with the massacre at the Verger farm itself, as everyone Chiyoh has met tells her about closeness between Hannibal and Will; she also saw Hannibal rescuing and carrying Will, taking care of him at his home. 

She realizes that all of this can't be the result of violence. I think she sees that both Hannibal and Will are beasts, but they can control each other to a certain extent. She promises Hannibal that she will continue to protect him, but not in a cage, as some beasts are better not be caged. However, seeing that Hannibal decides to let himself be locked in a cage, she allows it, because it’s his decision.

I believe that after these events, Chiyoh remained in the United States to keep her hand on the pulse in case Hannibal needed her. Given that Chiyoh herself said she can’t go back home for the same reason Hannibal can’t (bad memories) and that, according to Bryan Fuller, she was the one who took care of the house on the cliff, I think that theory makes sense.

[kyshiwarrior]

WORD VOMIT RE: Jet's attitude towards his decisions.

another reason i wanna kiss whoever wrote and directed jet's episode is the fact in the cartoon, jet was absolutely hyped about blowing up the dam and knew deep down it was bad because he shielded the gaang from it even if he was upfront with the freedom fighters and confirming with the duke that innocents would die but thats the price --- but still later smiling and saying theyre going to have a great victory over the fire nation after sokka is taken away.

in the liveaction, the cockiness jet has is when he's amused the gaang thinks they're slick for trying to sneak in, when he's helping them sneak in because he thinks its amusing and a helping hand, and the face of a threat: when the fire benders are found waiting for him in the forest to kill him for spying on them and hes ready to fight them back. Then, he's smiling at the camp when he's announcing who they are and what their goal is: freedom and protecting their home because no one else has their back.

Outside of this, Jet is very somber and expresses a lot of stress. For example, when he stops Katara from making herself known too early when Sai is talking to the spy then when Katara confronts him. What really stood out to me was when Katara walked up and Smellerbee was exchanging a look with him. They both looked really stressed and uncomfortable before she even came around the corner, but then especially. The look Smellerbee gave to Jet really said a thousand words, like they've been having a lot of discussions about involving her in their mission and an almost 'I told you so.' (sidenote: they did a wonderful job with nonverbals). Jet immediately puts his foot down about it not being the time then also not denying what he was doing when confronted. When he explains why he’s doing it, even as he smiles a little when saying they know how to take out the trash, its spoken with so much ire because he’s doing what he feels he needs to — and it hurts its your own people that let you down. He smiles because he’s in pain and overall feeling of ‘This is what happens when these people think they could get away with it. They have us to reckon with.’

What was significant to me was the lack of ego. This was someone who had full understanding that what he was doing wasn't something to boast about, but a building frustration tying with "IF NOT US, WHO?" What Katara didn't understand was the difference between herself and Jet, what defines being 'the good guy.' Jet was someone so acutely aware of his lack of privileges and the fear that drives the 'hard decisions' for the sake of collective. Hard decisions that put the very people you're trying to protect at risk because they were in the wrong place and the wrong time, but more would be at risk if they didn't act immediately. It's ugly, messy, imperfect -- and Jet is aware. He is not excited about any of this. Instead, he's pissed he feels he has no other choice because no adult after his parents did anything to help him. So it's all up to him, to him. ((cartoon implied these attitudes but I still spent years trying to get it through jet anti’s heads ))

And assassinating a KING and almost effortlessly succeeding is ... quite something. Impulsive, but pretty impressive. Sad, too, that it would be so easy. Everything Jet had to say about Bumi in this universe was true. Bumi lost his nerve, he was surrounded in privilege, he wasn't doing anything to really stop the corruption, and he fell into despair. Sure, Aang got through to him. Sure, Sai changed his ways and drew away from his treason with risk following. Sure. But we know what's going to inevitably happen, unless they decide to change it: Bumi happily lets Omashu get overtaken by the Fire Nation and orders all his guards to "do nothing" without any explanation. We better see Jet in Season 2 talk about his perspective here because the changes they did have me buzzing with theories. He would be livid and seemingly 100% right about King Bumi. ((Unfortunately, he is also destined to die before finding out about Bumi's plans to take Omashu back the day of the solar eclipse, but it doesn't matter because Jet would not have forgiven him for that terror.))

Anyway, they did a great job humanizing him while making him a foil to her. In the original, Jet was Sokka's foil, but I think it works so well to make him Katara's -- as they both become the most vocal and impulsive social justice activists. So seeing them fight and discuss what it meant to be a 'traitor' and 'unforgivable' was fascinating. They were actually able to have two separate discussions on the matter -- one where Katara confronted Jet to call him a traitor and when Jet confronted Katara to call her one in return.

I love how in the original, Sokka was able to prove he is a good leader in his own way by showing empathy for all and not willing to risk innocent lives ever, which gets Aang and Katara's respect after so much ridicule and comparisons. In contrast, I also love how they decided to go an alternate route because with Jet's impact on Katara that had such a lasting impression, this change did their dynamic justice. It sets up season 2 very well in how they'll engage with each other again.

I also love how Katara is able to reflect on Jet with criticism, but also understanding and a moment of gratitude. It feels a lot better than his simple flattery followed with manipulating her for her powers, and audiences feeling unsure how much of his flirting was genuine. Mind you, helps her story and establishes trust issues around being used (factors into her other plotlines), but it's such a disservice to Jet in return. I'm a big advocate of 'you don't have to completely demonize and ruin a character for the sake of uplifting another, the other should be able to stand on their own.'

[francis-writes]

Could you do a modern NSFW oneshot for Ramsey x reader where the reader and Ramsey are having an Argument in a car which somehow leads to Ramsey pulling over somewhere and the two of them end up having hate sex in the car?

A/N: i will someday finish it... perhaps.

Also sorry that i am not so active recently. I spend almost whole days on the university and I also joined local anarchist collective. Anyway. There's a lot going on.

"Don't be such a bitch"

"A bitch? I just wanted to know who's the girl that you spent the whole evening with. That makes me a bitch?"

"Can't I even talk with someone without your permission?" Ramsay raised his voice, visibly irritated. You were coming back from a party in friend's house. After you went to the kitchen, you couldn't see your boyfriend until you found him sitting on a couch with a stranger girl. It wouldn't be such a problem but they seemed to be unsettlingly close. You tried to find out something after the party but Ramsay wasn't eager to satisfy your curiosity.

"You can but that girl was definitely flirting with you. And you looked as if you wanted to get into her pants as well"

"Maybe I wanted to" he snorted "But I didn't. I don't fuck anyone behind your back so stop being so suspecting"

Sure, for now Ramsay didn't give you any reasons to worry. You didn't have any proofs for his infidelity, even though he was a hedonist and you knew that before meeting you, he had many lovers. Still... this  evening left you in a bad mood and you couldn't forget it.

"If you cheated on me, why would you tell me about that?" You shrugged. To be honest, you didn't want to argue but something was pushing you to defend your earlier anger.

Ramsay growled something under his breath and made a quick move with steering wheel. Fortunately, the road was empty at this hour but driving with Ramsay was usually an exciting experience - the same way rollercoaster is exciting when your heart stops for a moment and you wonder if you're gonna survive this.

"What are you doing?!"

Ramsay stopped the car on the roadside.

"We need to talk, but if you kept screaming at me while I was driving, there would be an accident"

"I wasn't screaming" you said a bit quieter than before, feeling some remorse for your (perhaps) unjustified anger.

Ramsay grabbed  your shirt and pulled you closer, so you could feel his warm breath on your face.

"You were. For no goddamn reason. I am starting to regret that I didn't fuck this girl, at least you would have a reason to make a scene"

Without a second thought, you slapped him. He looked at you with anger, maybe surprise in his eyes, and he grabbed your throat, squeezing it slightly so you barely could breathe.

You felt a mix of emotions, anger and fear were battling in you for domination. But there was also... excitement? You felt familiar wetness between your legs. Oh, as usual you couldn't decide whether you would rather kill Ramsay or fuck him.

"Maybe..." you tried to form a sentence despite lacking air "we should...move...to the back seats"

Ramsay raised his eyebrow and smirked. He let go of your throat so you could take a deep breath with relief.

"For what?"

"It would be easier to... discuss there"

He nodded, still with a sarcastic grin on his face, and moved to the back seats.

You just closed the door when Ramsay pulled you to himself and started kissing you, sneaking his hand under your shirt. His warm, calloused fingers wandered across your skin. The experience was pleasant and you usually relaxed under his touch but this time, something didn't let you focus on the moment. You pushed him away.

"So we're just gonna fuck now? As if nothing happened?"

He didn't say anything, just kissed you forcefully, holding your head so you couldn't move away. You bit his lip with all your strenght until he pulled off and touched his lip, just to see blood on his fingers.

"You stupid whore..." he mumbled and pushed you on your back. You tried to get up but he pinned you to the seat and with one free hand he tried to unbutton your shirt, but most buttons just fell off when he yanked the material. He leaned over and bit your breast. Pain pierced your body and you wanted to scream but he covered your mouth with his palm.

"Shhh..." he silenced you "You don't want somebody to catch us?"

Instead of responding, you bit his hand and used all your strength to got up while he still was surprised. You grabbed his tshirt and tried to pulled it over his head. Despite his irritation, Ramsay helped you (perhaps he wanted to see more than just dark material on his face).

You sat astride on his lap and began to kiss his chest and suck on his neck. You were still angry at him but the desire turned out to be stronger. You still could see the fire in his eyes, but for now Ramsay stayed unmoved, focusing on the pleasure.

His hands went under your skirt, squeezing your thigs, digging nails into your skin. You moaned between the kisses as he was marking you with bruises. You could feel bulge in his pants so you started moving your hips and rubbing against him. Ramsay gasped. You were together long enough for you to know how to stimulate him, get him on the edge and drive him crazy.

He raised his hips a bit and pulled down his trousers. His dick sprung out, already hard.

You  took off your panties and wanted to slide on him but it didn't want to get in.

"Fuck" you swore under your breath and you wanted to put it in forcefully but Ramsay stopped you. He started fingering you, massaging your clit with his thumb.

"Tight as a virgin. But don't worry, we'll get you wet"

"I am no virgin" you replied angrily. He smirked.

"I know, you're more visited attraction than Statue of Liberty"

"Oh, fuck you"

"Fuck me yourself, coward"

He took off his fingers and pushed his cock inside you. You didn't manage to find a fitting remark as you were adjusting to his girth. You slowly moved up and down and started riding him.

[respectthepetty]

I think your theory about Saifah robbing Kang’s house seems pretty plausible. Im just wondering what happens after that. We see Sailom getting shot at which is crazy. But why? Are the debt collectors just evil villains willing to murder a poor kid because he can’t payback money or is it something else?

Anon, oooooohhhhh, I have spent far too much time thinking about this particular scene in the Dangerous Romance trailer, and I think it boils down to politics.

So I offer you my wildest ass theory yet!

At first, I thought since Sailom has to go back to escorting with Saifah in jail, Kanghan will fuck up that job with his anger, leaving Sailom with no way to get the money to pay the debt collectors. They follow him with plans to shoot him, but . . . they are the torture type (iron to skin, remember?) because they still want their money. They wouldn't kill him. ❌

So I thought about the possibility of Kang swindling someone on his honeymoon by playing pool to get more money, and pissing someone off, so they go after Sailom, but they have to drive to the honeymoon place, so would that person find them again back in their hometown? No. ❌

Then, I thought that Sailom hustled someone to get the money, and they are pissed off at him. He knows how to make money, so maybe he swindled someone, and they angrily chased him down like the guy who aggressively approached in the alley for sex in episode three.

But then I remembered that Sailom isn't about that life, which is why he gets upset at Saifah. He doesn't like to deceive people, so he can get money. He takes up escorting because the client is getting what he paid for, which is his company and dinner with him. Sailom isn't being deceitful to get money. ❌

This is Laws of Attraction political.

Why would Saifah, who normally asks clients for gifts, rob a client's house? But more importantly, why would he rob a client's house that his brother is basically living in?

HE WOULDN'T!

At least, he wouldn't do that intentionally. But his high school buddy who doesn't have an honest job sure the hell would!

But, but, but, why would Name want to rob the house? He is a debt collector. Saifah and Sailom being in that house assures that they can pay their debt. So is he trying to make a quick buck too? NO!

Either Name leaves his job as a debt collector and joins Saifah in his great adventure as a rich person's caretaker or he has motivation for being in that house and "robbing" it. I have believed someone gets shot during the robbery by mistake, but what if it isn't a mistake? What if the robbery is simply a cover-up, and the shooting is the real purpose for being in the house?

The dad is running for office.

That means he is a target from "all sorts of people."

So Name gets in the house under the guise of taking some stuff, only to intend to shoot Kang's dad because his boss tells him to. Saifah isn't about this plan, freaks out, and tries to stop it. The dad still gets shot, but it isn't as bad as it could have been because Saifah intervened maybe. Saifah gets arrested, but Name (and others?) escape. Sailom believes his brother didn't have anything to do with the shooting and in normal Sailom fashion, he won't let that injustice slide.

Saifah is already in jail, but Sailom has now become an unpredictable loose end. The night of the Sailom's shooting, both boys are in a (police) office possibly hearing more news about the open investigation. This could be before he gets shot, but it could also be him reporting the shooting after Kang rescues him, but either way, it's meaningful to the criminal investigation.

Name or whoever his boss is can't have Sailom out there running his mouth. Sailom may not even know anything, but he knows the debt collectors, he has been escorting (the ONE client who may or may not have some info), and he knows his brother would not shoot someone. He knows SOMETHING that can connect Name or whoever his boss is to the shooting of Kang's dad, so little homie gotta die.

I noticed before that Kang doesn't take Sailom back to his house after rescuing him, and this isn't Sailom's house either. It's not the hotel from their honeymoon stage that has to happen in episode 8 or 9.

If the grandma was shot, I feel the dad would stay at the house, but if the dad got shot, the grandma would move Kang somewhere safe because she knows this wasn't an accidental shooting (Pimfah's house?). Kang is protected, but Sailom isn't.

The last snippets from the trailers and OST are coming up in the next two episodes, which means only the shooting, the shower scene, and the swings scene (which feels like the final) are left for the last three episodes.

It seems like a lot of plot but we need the "dangerous" portion of this romance, so if the dad is shot by episode 9 . . .

my wild ass theory might just have a chance.

[mike-haters-dni]

So while I'm Saying Shit, I also have a problem with this idea that El was upset that Mike wasn't saying I love you specifically because her love language is words of affirmation so she really needed to hear it? I mean, first of all I think the idea of love languages is mostly useful as a quick generalized way to discuss how we respond to and express affection—a messy nuanced human behavior thing that is hard to talk about, and the show is written with that nuance, but even then I don't think El particularly craves or requires words to feel loved anymore than anyone else does. I think in s4 she was really just confused about why her boyfriend was refusing to say the word 'love' under any circumstance to her? Especially after she heard him say it once already and then she said it back to his face in response so its like, he said he loves me before and I let him know I feel the same and now he won't say it again? Not even as a way to end letters—a normal thing people do for someone who means much less to them than she supposedly does to him sooooooooooo like what's the fucking deal? The contents of the letters sure implies he holds a lot of affection for her and he brings her flowers in her favorite colors and ok we're in love and then he signs 'from' on the card and its like ????? like even as the audience you're supposed to be confused lol like he clearly has some kind of hang up I wonder what it is? Then after El smashes a girl's face in she thinks "oh yeah, the hang up is that he actually hates me because I'm evil haha lemme just start projecting real quick" and then, you know, s4 happens. I mean, it's not like she doesn't value words at all, I just don't think her relationship to them is particularly tied to her trauma like people say, or if anything, maybe she values them less because that's all Brenner would ever give her? Like, perhaps the big Love Confession hits the hardest because it came after Mike and company spent a week or whatever driving across the entire western united states to save her from the government. Idk, something to chew on.

Honestly, if anyone's love language is words its Mike lmao he's the one whos constantly telling El how amazing she is. He's also desperately trying to tell her he loves her in like 5 scenes (arguably succeeding except for not saying the actual word in most of them) before he actually does like, he wants to so bad it almost comes spilling out of his mouth against his will (except for that one time it does ha) he's just terrified of doing so because it would essentially be ripping his entire beating heart out of his chest and handing it to this powerful-in-every-way girl on a silver platter for her to do whatever she wants with—like crushing it into a fine paste in front of his eyes, killing him instantly and preventing him from having the strength to love anything ever again. Like, the other half of the love language thing is that you also speak the love language, meaning you are more likely to show affection by doing the thing you want for other people, and Mike does this waaaaay more than El does for anyone actually (something I would love to see her do more in s5 lowkey. Like, she was at a severe disadvantage before and was too busy dealing with her own shit to have a ton of emotional energy for anyone else so it makes sense, but we're matured now. I think now is the time for a heart-to-heart that goes both ways u kno).

If I wanted to be cute, I could argue that both Mike and El's main love language is actually acts of service. They're both little heroes who jump at the chance to do anything for the people they love with no regard for their own personal wellbeing. Also, adorably, the thing that gets them back together in s3 is Mike saving El from Billy, which El responds to by helping him and Lucas with the vending machine. One offering of m&ms later and we're back baybee it's the quiet understanding that no matter what they'll always be there for each other for meeee

If I'm not being cute I'm saying the idea that everyone has a main 'love language' is bullshit and you're gonna appreciate different things at different times and people are not that easily categorized but it's still a good jumping off point for discussion so—

Anyway El saves the world and Mike saves her and they're dying in each other's arms thank you for your time <3

[a-funeral-pyre]

May Day Parade - Round 3: free space

Once again for @queer-ragnelle 's initiative. I am officially unable to write anything but angst, so this is what I came up with. Since I already wrote about Mordred and I mean to write about Gawain, I thought it was fair to try with the other Orkney brothers. So here it is:

You always knew you were a sinner.

There is more blood on your hands than your uncle wants to see spilled. You felt no mercy as Lamorak coughed up blood and begged to be spared.

But at least you never betrayed your king.

You wonder if he will remember when he sees your body. If this time he will top defending the man who dared to continue to smile at him after getting into his bride's bed.

If he can finally open his eyes and see all the rot that lurks in his shining court.

But you do not want to hope too much. He will probably regret the traitor's loss more than yours. And even if he doesn't, none of your companions will shed a tear for you.

You've made too many enemies in this life. You have never regretted it until this moment.

You don't even know if, given the chance to survive, you would go back. It would be nice to know that someone will miss you. But you would never be able to mend the bonds you broke in your desire to rise above others. Once you put out the fire of envy, you don't know what else could be driving you.

You did not even manage to eliminate the man you most wanted to see fall. And even if his treachery has been discovered, your life will not be considered by anyone too high a price for the revelation of his disloyalty.

You will be remembered only as the wild son of Orkney, thirsty for blood and revenge, and many will sleep better once they hear of your passing. If the thought gave you comfort while you were alive, now you only wish you hadn't spent your life hating those who were brighter than you.

Maybe then your end would have been happier. You probably wouldn't even have died the same way.

At least you wouldn't be here, bleeding out alone, on the cold floor of the room of two blasphemous lovers. When you watched Lamorak take his last ragged breaths, you did not think it would happen to you.

But, if you had someone to call a friend by your side, it would not be so hard to wait for nothing to come.

You manage to block your thoughts before they can degenerate. They will not help you right now, just as they did not help you in life.

It was not out of loyalty that you avenged your uncle's honor. Part of you hopes he does not notice.

You just want to feel like it was worth getting to this point.

…

Your mother would laugh at you if she were here.

She has every right to do so. The man who treacherously killed her, eliminated without warning by a traitor. You would laugh too, if breathing wasn't too painful.

This day would have been hard enough to bear without ending with your death, and with Gareth's cries ringing in your head while you are unable to move and look for him.

It is the right punishment for someone like you, and you are not blind enough not to recognize it.

You would not have wanted to let your queen burn, despite her guilt. But you were not as kind to your own blood. And even if that was not why Lancelot wanted to kill you, you cannot help but feel like fate is punishing you.

But by now, it is too late to regret. At least you are certain that this was the fate you deserved. You could not escape your damnation forever.

You should have no reason to cry for your life. Not after everything you have done. You should have known that sooner or later you would pay for your sins, and your end would not be peaceful.

At least you will see Agravain again. You will burn together, struck down by the same hand. You never thought the thought would bring you comfort.

But Gareth should not be here dying with you. There was no reason why he should pay too.

And there will be someone who will suffer your end in your place. Your uncle has already lost a nephew, a spouse, and a friend. And even if he may accept it, Gawain will not. You listened as he asked you not to participate in the execution.

You do not deserve Lynette's tears.

At least you will not see their mourning. At least you will never know what will happen next, when you are no longer here.

Death brings more death. You have witnessed this many times. And you know that your end is just the beginning. Your brother will not let this act go unpunished.

It's not worth it. Maybe for Gareth. But not for you.

But through your clouded eyes you find no one alive to tell. The blood trail has already been traced. The downfall of Camelot has begun, and you will not be able to stop it. You are dying alone and a sinner, and everything around you is burning.

You try to speak, but only smoke from the fire fills your lungs as you take your last breath. Mother, you try to call, are you satisfied now?

…

You should never have come here.

You should not have agreed to watch the death of the woman you swore to serve and honor. Perhaps, despite her guilt, you should have tried to prevent this sentence from falling on her.

At least she is safe. But, if you had resisted – if only you had decided to follow Gawain and walk away from this place until the ashes had cooled – you would be too.

You just expected that you would contemplate an end you should have opposed to, go home, and try to shake off the memory. You did not believe your life would end instead.

You did not think he would be the one to hit you.

You would not have stopped him. If you had had the courage, you would have joined him. You remember the last words you spoke – you vaguely remember trying to call him, telling him you were not going to fight him, begging him to save the queen.

It was not enough.

You do not want to blame him. Maybe if Lyonesse had been in Guinevere's place, you would have done the same thing he did, even if it meant breaking your vows.

But, even when your soul has completely detached from your body, you will not forget the look on his face as he hit you. The fury, the blind desire to pour blood and fire into the world just so he would not lose everything.

He hated you as his blade fell upon you. His eyes killed you before the metal.

If you had survived, maybe you would have had to fight him. Maybe you would have had to face his contempt again anyway. And you would have had to live with the fact that, after today, he became an enemy.

But this awareness does not save you as you drown in the cold and darkness, with the memory of your last meeting burning inside you.

For a moment you wish you had died before you met your wife, when you had not revealed the truth yet. You would have died anyway, but it would not have been with the knowledge that your world was poisoned and about to collapse. It would not have been with the thought of what Lyonesse will feel when they bring her your bod. It wouldn't be by the hand of the man you considered a friend.

If you had died before, you would not be here wondering what will be the fate of your now too torn family, of the kingdom you swore to protect and of whose fall you will be only one of the first victims.

If you could get up, if you still had the strength to speak, you would go to your uncle and beg him not to shed any more blood. To give up his revenge, not to allow others to end up like you.

But you're too busy wishing for your agony to be short to try. You can only pray – and desperately try to ignore the awareness that your prayers will go unanswered.

[light-lanterne]

took a break from writing a twisted little story and suddenly remembered the book "perfume", so i can't help but byler-fy it.

tw // mcd; graphic depictions of violence, murder and gore; obsession; mentioned cannibalism - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ☽ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - an offering, @catboy-cabin, @conanssummerchild, @cosmobrain00, @fluffyfangirl, @foodiewithdahoodie, @hyperfixationcentralsvoid, @holyvirgilscriptures, @lucasvenkman, @rotisseries, @yearninginblue. only tagging those i know who are enthusiastic about this type of story; forgive me if i've overstepped x.x

for those who don't know the story, please picture this: perfume maker mike who is incredibly sensitive to smell. he constantly creates the most intricate and delicate perfumes and he is great at it, but he soon bores of the scent of herbs, flowers and fruits and thus, he begins the quest to create something else.

something interesting and unique that's never been done before; a fragrance so wonderful no one will ever be able to resist it.

so he begins experimenting. uses the most bizarre extracts; creates some rather odd-yet-delicious odours that are hard to describe as anything other than exquisite,,, but it's not quite enough. he still finds his perfumes menial and uninteresting and no one around him seems to understand what he's searching for, so he grows more and more frustrated every day.

that is, of course, until he crosses paths with will: a pretty little artist who's come back to his hometown for inspiration and a break from the stress of the big city. an artist who mike used to know when they were children —before mike developed his bizarre senses—, who he hadn't thought much about in a long time

and for most people, there's nothing too special about will: he is rather handsome and nothing short of a true gentleman; he is kind and soft-spoken, and his art shows a remarkable talent and dexterity one wouldn't expect from someone so young.

but he is, ultimately, just a normal young man.

except,,, well, mike might've been a little infatuated with will back in the day so he's already fond of will's presence.

more than that, however, mike has a keen sense of smell and thus, he knows there's much more to will than what meets the eye. more specifically, mike knows that will's scent is the perfect aroma he'd been searching for all along and so, he must do absolutely everything in his power to bottle it up and keep it safe for the rest of eternity.

so he tries to replicate it. he mixes every oil and extract he owns and creates yet more wondrous concoctions everyone loves,,, but everything pales when compared to the original, which leaves mike with only one choice.

he kills his first victim in the middle of the night, shortly after the local bars have closed their doors for the day.

the next one perishes in the middle of the forest, their screams unheard as mike drives them deeper and deeper into the woods.

the next, mike lures into his shop under the pretence of a simple one-day summer job, the youth's blood staining the dark stone tiles where mike's been conducting his research.

over and over, mike kills people of all sizes and ages as he searches for a way to extract all their scents, each method more complex than the last, until he's finally refined his technique enough to dare try with his true target: will, who mike's spent all this time reconnecting with, becoming best friends with again, and even courting in an effort to satisfy his twisted needs.

on one hand, he wants to know exactly who he's planning to kill, becoming more and more obsessed and deranged with each passing day as his feelings for will grow.

on the other, and much higher on his list of priorities, he wants to spend as much time as possible smelling that delicious elixir he's hoping to acquire at some point.

and finally, after several months, the time's come: mike lures the unsuspecting will into his house and swiftly, with ease, stabs him to death until the gleam in those lovely olive eyes vanishes and gets replaced with a now-familiar white fogginess. then, mike proceeds to gather his supplies, all of which he cleaned and polished the previous night in preparation for this most crucial moment in his life.

and then he gets to chopping.

then, to distilling.

then, to bottling it all up.

he works efficiently and methodically as he prepares the perfume and, once his magnus opus is ready, he stares at it for a long while. just leaves the bottle there, on the table, gawking at it with as much fervour and reverence as he used to stare into will's charming hazel eyes.

once he's done just admiring what he's created, mike decides to test the cologne; sprays the tiniest bit on an illustration will had gifted him a week earlier, takes a deep breath in and smiles.

then, he walks from room to room and sprays just a little more fragrance on all fabrics and surfaces so that his house smells like will.

then, he walks over to will's carcass —which has acquired a certain different smell by now— and reinstates what once was by covering will with the mist of the pure, better version of his natural smell, so lovingly and thoroughly extracted by mike.

and last, of course, mike sprays a little perfume on himself, feeling it envelop him like a warm hug he can't escape from, all tender and lovely and absolutely perfect.

so he relishes in his success. spends the entire day breathing in the intoxicating smell and, after spraying another round of perfume on himself —the very last of it—, he steps outside his house to show the world what he's created, finding the entire population of hawkins at a town assembly arranged to discuss the recent disappearances and killings that have shaken the town to its very core.

so he steps in, bloodied hands and clothing making his nightly affairs evident to everyone in the room, crazed eyes and mad smile leaving no room for doubt about his insanity and murderous acts.

but it doesn't matter. will's enrapturing scent was too faint to be picked up by anyone but mike and his advanced sense of smell, but now that it's been distilled and concentrated, everyone is able to feel just how special it is. how delicious and mouth-watering it is.

so mike is attacked; tackled to the ground as everyone tries to get a little part of his clothes or his flesh, and it's not long before someone decides to take a bite to determine whether or not the fragrance tastes as good as it smells. and truth be told, mike can't blame them for it even as he perishes.

because, if he were amidst the ravenous crowd, he would be doing the exact same thing.

- the end -

(sorry for the unhappy ending, that's just how the book ends x.x also, i am now just realising that wanting to “wear” your "loved" one feels a lot like cannibalism as a metaphor for desire, does it not ? so in the end, this isn't anything i haven't explored before x.x)

[kidrauhlschik]

Stray Kids as Sad Songs

Hyung Line

Bang Chan - Angels Like You (Miley Cyrus)

"It's not your fault I ruin everything

and it's not your fault I can't be what you need"

If he could go back in time to never meet you, he would. He would prefer to never experience the things he did with you, because then this moment wouldn't hurt him the way he's hurting right now.

He finally let's his tears flow freely as he packs the last of his things.

"A little more hurt won't kill you tonight"

He wonders if you'll ever forgive him. It's doubtful. He came into your life and everything felt like a dream. The first year the two of you spent together, you could have sworn that the two of you were soulmates. As time went by, that illusion quickly started to fade into a memory.

He self destructs, it's the only thing he's good at. You tell him that you're there for him through every step of the way, but he knows better. People like you don't belong with people like him. You need someone who can be there for you day and night, someone who you can see year round, you need someone who can post you on social media and show you off.

"Cause they say that misery loves company"

Bang Chan knows that he doesn't deserve you. He lack in areas you need him most. He notices when you cry yourself to sleep while he lays next to you, you never liked to tell him your problems because you don't want to add another burden to his ever growing list. He sees the missed calls that he didn't see while working, while performing, or while sleeping.

You deserve a good man, not the shell of one.

"Gonna wish we never met on the day I leave"

He decided enough was enough, and although his departure will destroy you, he knows that this is what he has to do. He knows that you would stop him if you knew, so disappearing without a trace is his only option. You deserve an explanation but he's too scared to confront you. So with that thought he grabs the rest of his bags and takes one last look at the place the two of you used to call home.

"I'm everything they said I would be"

Lee Know - A Grave Mistake (Ice Nine Kills)

"Till death do us part came far too soon"

He can remember that night as if it were yesterday. Every time he closes his eyes, the memory of the accident haunts him. Except, it was no accident. The man chose to get in his car after drinking way more than he could handle. He chose to take your life that night.

He can remember riding his bike behind yours, the two of you were discussing what you would have for dinner that night through the mic's in your helmet. It all happened in a second. You had a green light, everything was perfect. Until Satan himself flew through his stop at insane speed. Minho's heart stopped in that second. His brain refusing to process what had just happened.

He can remember the way your body flew over the car but he couldn't see you any more. He rode his bike around the car and found you. You weren't moving, but your helmet was still in place.

"Baby?" You weren't responding.

He flies off of his motorcycle, almost stumbling after it falls behind him. The bike didn't matter to him right now.

"Baby? Are you okay" No response.

On his knees next you he keeps trying to understand what his eyes are seeing. His hands hover over you, not wanting to so much as touch you to prevent further damage.

"I'm so sorry, I was was just driving and I-" But before the man could say anything else, Minho stopped him, he couldn't even bother to take his eyes off of you at that moment.

"Call 911! Call them right now!" From the top of his lungs. The world around him seemed like a blur to him, he knew there were cars stopping to see the scene but all he cared about was making sure that no one would touch you unless they knew what they were doing.

"Baby? Can you hear me? Baby please answer me!" Delusion.

"Rage, scorn, misery

Payback from what you took from me

Hope, love, sanity"

He remembers the ambulance arriving, shortly after the cops were putting handcuffs on the drunk man. He remembers that they were trying too pull him away to give the paramedics space to work. As he was fighting to get back to your side, he remembers the words very clearly.

"Time of death, 10:48PM" His world stopped. The words circled in his head but he couldn't understand them.

"NO!" He throws off the man who kept trying to hold him back. Landing on his knees next to you. They had taken your helmet off. You were fine. What were they talking about? It wasn't until Minho noticed the blood around your body that reality set in.

"Baby wake up! Get up baby! We have to go home! The cat's are waiting for us baby! Get up! Please." Tears were beginning to mix with blood as he held you body to his chest. Eyes full of pity let him have a moment with your body as he sobbed into your hair..

"No forgiveness, just farewell"

The memory hurts just as much as it did a year ago. He can only see your face as he holds the gun up to the man who took your life.

11 months. They only gave him 11 months in jail. It's okay though, Lee know would take care of the rest.

He pulled the trigger.

"A match made in heaven

You sent straight to hell"

Changbin - Ghost (Justin Bieber)

"I know you crossed a bridge that I can't follow"

You moved on. He knew you were happy. You finally had your dream career, your dream house, you dream man. Unfortunately, that man wasn't him.

You were the smartest person he knew. He always knew that you would accomplish everything you put you mind into. That meant that you knew exactly what you wanted in life, and being in a relationship with an idol was not in your list.

He received the wedding invitation three months ago. When he saw your name written in the front he was worried that the others would hear his heart burst into a million pieces. It's over. There was no chance of winning you back now.

"Since the love that you left is all that I get"

It wasn't that you no longer loved him. You simply love him in a different way than he does. Changbin thinks that it hurts even more this way, because he can still remember how you used to love him. He can still remember your voice through the phone on his late nights.

Now all he has to remember your love are letters. You always wrote him letters. You would tell him that it felt more personal that way. He thought it was silly but it was one of the many things he loved about you. He held on to every single letter, sometimes he still reads them to remember when you loved him.

"If I can't be close to you, I'll settle for the ghost of you"

He knew he also had to move on. He tried it. No one could replace you. He brought his girlfriend to your wedding. His girlfriend was kind, beautiful, romantic, and she was everything a man could want. Except, she wasn't you.

You looked beautiful in your white dress, reading your vows to your husband to be. You probably hand wrote them, and all that Changbin could think about is that you still write letters, but they're no longer for him.

Your beautiful words are now directed to someone else and that thought alone makes him choke up. He refuses to cry though, he wants to be happy for you, but he can't help wishing that man holding your hand was him.

"I'd leave it all behind if I could follow"

If you turned to him in that second and told him that you still loved him, he would leave with you with no questions asked. He would simply get up and leave with you. He felt awful for feeling that way. His girlfriend didn't deserve that. Yet, he can't help but fantasize about your love and how it will never be directed at him anymore.

However, his heart will always belong to you.

"I miss you more than life"

Hyunjin - Creep (Radiohead)

"Couldn't look you in the eye"

Hyunjin never felt normal. That's why he escaped reality so often. Singing helps him forget. Painting helps him forget. You help him forget. He can always count on those three things to help him forget the world he lives in.

One would think he was perfect in every way, but he knew better. If people could see his brain, they would understand. Sometimes he's scared to look at you in the eyes, because maybe you could see the darkness in his.

You were always there for him. As a friend.

That's all he can ask from you.

"I wish I was special

You're so fuckin special"

He never felt safe on this earth until he met you. You were the light of his life and he always hoped he could be the light in yours, but that's unrealistic. Someone like him could never be a light.

You were so perfect. You always know what to say. He can't help but admire you. You have so many friends, and Hyunjin has nine. You had so many hobbies and passions that you enjoyed for fun, Hyunjin has hobbies to escape his own mind. You were beautiful in everyway, and Hyunjin thinks that's he's disgusting.

Those thoughts always haunt him.

"What the hell am I doing here?"

Panic always sets in at moments like these. His nails dig into his skin trying to bring himself back to reality.

"I don't belong here"

"Otw! :)" Your message read and he immediately calms down.

He wishes he could be with you all the time but he'll never tell you that. You would probably laugh in his face and cut him off and he wouldn't be able to handle that. He can't live without you.

"But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo"

So there he sits in a room full of paintings of your face, paintings he made whenever he had a chance. Painting of you smiling, some when you were cooking, some of you when you were sleeping, and others of you naked.

Hyunjin has seen you in every way possible. But you don't know that. He tells himself it's okay because he loves you.

"Run."

~

A/N: That was a lot longer than i expected it to be. Also, I may have gotten a bit carried away w Lee Know's lol ! anyway thanks for reading !:)

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

there goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen, i had a marvelous time ruining everything - debbie gallagher character study

ao3

You wake up, hungover, alone, and an orphan.

It wasn’t like Frank’s death was unexpected, you’ve been preparing yourself for it since you were five, but it’s odd. Losing Monica didn’t feel this way. Losing Monica felt like a weight being lifted off of your shoulders. When you saw her dead body lying on the living room floor, you knew that it was the last time she would ever leave you again, and it was relieving. You hate to think that, and immediately after the thought comes to your mind, you run to the toilet and puke your guts out at the mere thought of your mother’s dead body.

…Well, it’s either because of your dead parents or because of the ungodly amount of alcohol you consumed last night. Probably both.

You knew that Heidi wouldn’t last and oddly enough, that’s what you liked about her. You liked how spontaneous and dangerous she was, you didn’t think she was your soulmate or anything. But still, her absence hurts. You expected her to be gone in a week or so, off to Texas (you still hadn’t decided if you wanted to go or not, but you were leaning more towards staying), but you didn’t expect her to be gone so soon. You remember last night at Mickey and Ian’s anniversary party, Heidi left you and Franny at the bar with no ride while you were too wasted to protest, and she wasn’t at the house when you woke up. You vaguely remember Lip driving you and Franny home.

What you’re feeling right now can’t be described with words. You don’t think it’s grief, you spent your whole childhood preparing for the day you became an orphan to the point where you’re convinced that you finished grieving at age thirteen. This feeling isn’t sadness, but it isn’t the same relief from five years ago when Monica died. You don’t feel anything except for lonely.

Loneliness is a feeling you know all too well. From being in grade school and not ever having a single friend, to a desperate teenager in need of some love, to a confused young adult with a kindergartner, you’ve always been lonely. It’s something you’ve always known, you knew it when nobody wanted to play with you in kindergarten, and you had it fully confirmed at six when your unstable, drug addict mother abandoned you. Loneliness is the only constant in your life, yet you’ve still never gotten used to it.

You wonder why your mother leaving you effected you so much. You know that you aren’t the only Gallagher with a bad track record when it comes to keeping a relationship (you learned your relationship skills, like you learned most things, from your big sister), but it seems so much easier for everyone else to just have someone. To have someone to love, to cherish, to be with. The thought of someone who you love loving you back and actually wanting to stay with you seems unfathomable. You know that right now your big brother and his husband are dealing with hangovers as well, and maybe your brothers hunched over the toilet just like you right now, and if he is, he probably has his husband with him. His husband is willing to stay through all of the disgusting things, through all of the hardships, his husband literally tried to kill for him and went to prison for him. Debbie can’t even get someone to want her for reasons other than her tits, Ian’s lucky.

There must be something truly poisonous about you. The fact that you could never make a single friend, that you couldn’t make your mother stay, you couldn’t keep your father sober, you couldn’t make a guy or girl want you, you couldn’t give your kid the life she deserved, and your entire family now views you as nothing but an annoyance. How do all of your siblings go on living and have friends, partners, connections, anything? You feel like your entire life, all twenty years, has just been a big failed attempt at getting the tiniest bit of love. You’re becoming desperate, you know this. You can see your siblings, the older ones who once changed your diapers and played with you, and the younger ones who once looked up to you, roll their eyes when you turn your back. You know that you’re the sole reason why Franny doesn’t play with anyone outside of school. You know that Heidi is probably driving to Texas right now, and in a day she’ll have a new girlfriend. You know that you were born alone and will die alone.

Your daughter is around the age you were the first time that you found yourself without a mother. She’s the age you were when you saw your mother cook meth out of your easy bake oven, the age where kids at school would run away from you, telling you that you smelled bad and that you were ugly. You’ve felt like a nuisance since you were Franny’s age, and it has just dawned on you how young you were.

Your daughter is lovable and sweet and adored by everyone in her life. If you couldn’t be that even at five years old, you know that it is something about you personally. You know that loneliness is your only option, it always has been, and it always will be.

[runekirikjartan]

Aledolfo + Valeria Thoughts Pre-MW2 Campaign.

Alejandro, Rodolfo and Valeria were in a poly-relationship prior to Valeria deciding she was okay with working for La Araña.

Rodlofo understood why Valeria did it, but that doesn't mean he forgives her for what the betrayal and disappearance did to Alejandro.

The initial disappearing act Valeria pulled actually caused Alejandro and Rodolfo to take a break from each other-

Alejandro chose anger and violence, often spending time in the gym on base than with Rodolfo.

Anger brought Rodolfo nothing but pain when he was younger so he chose to withdraw instead and focus on his work instead.

They forgot how to make time for each other.

It took one of them almost dying (Alejandro) to get their asses back into gear and to realize they were still in love with each other.

After Alejandro recovered Rudy drove them out to the safehouse where Rodolfo set up a ladder and got both he and Alejandro up onto the roof to watch the sunset, home cooked food in a basket and a bottle of tequila that they promised to open when they retired.

Alejandro's biggest fear is giving an order that'll get Rodolfo killed during a mission; dying on a mission is expected, their line of work isn't safe, but there's a difference between someone getting a lucky shot and Alejandro being the one who instructed Rodolfo to his death.

Rodolfo's biggest fear is that something will drive Alejandro back into that state where anger and violence were the only things on his mind.

Missing Valeria:

Alejandro may have been closer to her as a friend, but Rodolfo still mourns her deeply as a lover. She had understood him in a way that Alejandro didn't, never picked on his quiet focused anger, or teased him when he didn't feel like being talkative or friendly.

Alejandro doesn't know whether or not she'll survive their next meeting if Rodolfo isn't there to mediate, the betrayal makes him feel like shit, why weren't they good enough, why wasn't being good, good enough? When did Valeria decided that they, and Las Almas deserved to burn?

Rodolfo dreams about her sometimes and gets upset when he wakes, then feels guilty about it because he doesn't want to burden Alejandro with thoughts about her.

Alejandro wonders what would've happened if they weren't soldiers and if the three of them would still be together.

Rodolfo had rings for them both, expensive things he'd spent a portion of his savings on, the band on Alejandro's is thick and black, inlaid with two gems, one the colour of valeria's eyes, another the colour of his own. The matching set for Valeria is similar in concept, a diamond flanked by smaller gems of the same colours, her eyes swapped for Alejandro's.

They sit forgotten underneath the floorboards in a safehouse that they don't use anymore. (Alejandro doesn't know about them).

some bonus headcanons under the cut-

Valeria headcanons:

Alejandro had wormed his way into her heart, past all her defenses without even being phased by them. She hates that she felt so deeply for them.

She takes her coffee the same way Rodolfo has it because he always made it so nice- it reminds her of him.

Rodolfo had been kind to her even before their relationship when he didn't like her, a part of her misses him dearly, even if she knows he will not forgive her.

She has one of Alejandro's old cufflinks where it fell into her things while she was packing.

She has a series of polaroid pictures that Rodolfo took of her and Alejandro tucked away; she hates that she and Alejandro look so in love.

Rodolfo made her a crocheted blanket one day in winter when she complained it was cold and she still uses it even without them warming her sides.

Occasionally she remembers that she was jealous of the devotion Rodolfo gives, always steady and present, then she remembers that Rodolfo had also offered her the same when they were together.

[NSFW] The most memorable thing Rodolfo left her was a set of teeth prints on her inner thigh when he was eating her out.

She thinks Alejandro is far too good of a man to ever be a part of the cartel, and she never would've asked it for him.

[halfagone]

Here is an idea (inspired from the idea of someone else) you can do whatever you want to with: Jason for some reason decides to put a bounty (with favours and family dinners in exchange) on some rich guy and our lovely emotionally constipated rich guy, Bruce, takes the first row seat in listening the rules and pulls out a pen and paper from the ether and writes down everything and asks numerous questions. Bruce scores so many points that Jason sweats... And all he wants is a family dinner every other week. Absolutely nothing else, just come over, have dinner, chat with the sibs and Alfred (Jason is more than free to pretend that Bruce isn't there or so the older of the two says) and leave whenever. And after some mental calculations Jason knows that it will take at least 3 years to get through all of the pilled up family dinners and he has no idea what to even start thinking or feeling. Meanwhile every wonders if Bruce broke Jason with his own way of showing love and affection.

P.S. I HC that at least part of Bruce's love language is to spend time in the same space with his kids doing whatever... Even if it means doing paperwork in the middle of the room where Dick experiences an acrobat's wet dreams.

I'm not gonna lie to you, my brain literally went to 'paid mercenary' when I read 'bounty', but people put bounties on targets even without killing involved! So that's on me. lol But I definitely think that Bruce likes to spend lots of time with his children when he can, which could stem from lots of things, like how his parents died while they were on a night in the town together and even though he lost him he at least got to know how much they cared about him, and if he ever dies he wants his children to know that too, and that means showing an interest in their lives and being there. Or maybe it's because the last time he let a kid out of his sight for too long they went to a foreign country, got killed, and came back thinking they had died unloved and forgotten. 🙃

Sorry, my brain automatically translates to angst.

But seriously, Bruce wants to be there! Sometimes that means he can be overeager and always hovering over their shoulder, driving them up a wall. And sometimes that means he meddles and comes around even when they don't want them to.

Bruce spent such a long time alone in the Manor, with only Alfred to keep him company, and then went to travel and train largely alone, with only the occasional companion. And then he started his crusade expecting that to continue, only to soon gain a partner and son in Dick, and then slowly but steadily fill up the Manor with lively children.

Why would he ever want to go back to the way things used to be? And moreover, he chose to have these children in his life, why would he not want to spend time with them?

Jason would probably struggle to wrap his head around the concept the most. He went so long thinking only a certain way about Bruce, and then has to realize that he might have been wrong about Bruce from the start. He's got his own problems with parents who had loved or cared for him, but hadn't really been in the space or position to properly care about him. Look at Catherine, she loved and took care of Jason even when he wasn't her own son by blood! And yet having him in her life hadn't been enough to keep her off her drugs and addiction. That can really fuck a kid up. Bruce has plenty of other kids, lots of responsibility, and he can be a workaholic! But the fact that he wants and tries to make the time to spend time with his children, even if it just means being in the same room together so that he can hear them talk and laugh and rib each other says a lot about how important they are to him. And I'd like to think Jason would realize that too.

Bruce is, and more importantly can be, a good father! I will die on this hill, even if I have to get the dirt and make it myself.

10/10 HC, @chrysanthemum9484. It's not a fic, but my god, it's still got lots of feeling. I've got lots of Feelings. I shouldn't be allowed to write...

Side note: NF's How Could You Leave Us gives me major Jason Todd Feelings and I don't know how to cope with that.

[bazhowletts]

Full Name: Baz Howlett.

Nicknames: Baz.

Age: 38.

Pronouns and Gender: He/Him, Cis Male.

Birth place: Aurora Bay.

How long have they been in town?: His whole life / various leaves of absence but he always ends up back one way or another.

Sexuality: Bisexual.

Housing: Fisher's Cove.

Occupation:  Front Desk @ Titanium Gym.

tw crime, drugs, death // @aurorabayaesthetic

QUICK OVERVIEW:

tearaway teen yup yup yup

only child to perpetual disappointment pipeline

fell into a bad crowd with very little prompting in high school and got involved in some dodgy dealings

shit stirrer since birth

not a violent guy (unless pushed) but he got a little too big for his boots when money started rolling in and pissed off the wrong people in increasingly more creative ways

was with his best friend when he was ended up being killed over a drug dispute that got out of hand and escalated from an argument to a shooting

took off when he heard sirens

still wonders if he could have done something more that night to actually save him - kind of shut down for a long time over that and has done absolutely fuck all to process it really

hasn't told many people about that incident or his actions in the aftermath despite both being there when it occurred and being one of the coffin bearers at andrew's funeral

joyriding since before he could even drive properly (or legally), was the fastest fucker around when it came to stripping cars for parts which is why when he ended up going straight becoming a mechanic was about the only thing he could think to do that didn’t make him want to die of boredom 

broke his mothers heart tbh his dad always likes to remind him that that's what killed her (more aptly it was illness, but it do be getting in on him) 

very much uncomfortable with everything about himself and his life and i don’t think he’s felt genuine joy in years 

suffers from a terminal case of seeming out of place and disinterested 

after working as a mechanic ran its course for him he tried his hand at being a mailman

that lasted all of a year and a half before he was let go after suspicion of mail tampering and not delivering to people he has petty vendetta's against

absolutely justly let go but he'll never acknowledge that

currently working the front desk at titanium and finds amusement in telling gym bros they're looking tiny and questioning the nutritional value of protein aloud

if he cares then he cares but he’s just not the best at making that translate 

a ghoul!

PERSONALITY.

+ funny, confident, indepedent.

- abrasive, disinterested, petty.

FUN ADJACENT FACTS.

ocean crest apartment anti even though he doesn't even live there anymore, can’t stand the ruckus that’s always being caused and has several lifelong enemies in the form of long-term residents who he's beefed with

drives a shitty car, especially for someone so formerly into cars, but he's spent too much time under the hood of other people's cars to care much about that

pathological liar. no real reason for it, it just gives him a giggle

thinks grace and frankie is the greatest show ever made 

known harasser of local politicians

thinks taxes are optional

voted most likely to tell you to get off his lawn

CURRENT CONNECTIONS.

ex-husband of @kaylatullz

employee of @ecchs

friend of @clint-bennet

friend of @peterbasara

cousin of @tabithaxking

sometimes mechanic to / goblin co-kings with @marsmoran

friend of @calinxsava

went on a vday blind date with @the-nelson-quinn

SPECIFIC WANTED CONNECTIONS.

ocean crest residents -- any of the folks he's got absurd beefs with. can range from nonsense to legit, let's goooo!

ex-gf from high school -- someone who knew him before andrew's death and saw that massive shift in him after it that's carried through to this day. pre-plotting required.

people who's cars he's worked on/will take a look at cheap -- from back in the day when he was a mechanic. hasn't much of an interest these days but will do nixers if it's into the hand

ride or dies / friends -- u know u know.

past exes/flings/fwb -- lets get messy.

neighbours @ fisher's cove -- can be positive or negative vibes

just all of it 

GENERIC WANTED CONNECTIONS.

connections wise he’s pretty much an open book right now, but some baseline ideas that can be springboarded off are:

friendly.

a best friend / ride or dies / close friends / childhood friends / pseudo-siblings / friends / drunk friends / new friends / former roommate / people he met on his travels (hasn't been outside of america but anywhere within can be plotted).

romantic

flirtationship / friends with benefits / one time hook ups / tinder matches / unrequited crush (can be either way) / exes from high school / exes on good terms.

antagonistic.

enemies / former (best) friends / exes on bad terms / frenemies / rivals / negative influence / tbh he's an acquired taste so most antagonistic connects would work for him.