#He is a little like Kronk in the fact that he's a character who works best in the group rather than the leading man

[packet-of-staples]

The urge to watch W*A*L*T*E*R and rewrite it so that Radar becomes a Zoo Keeper instead of a cop. I've read the plot summary of the pilot and a review and I have thoughts.

My hatred for cops aside, I just physically cant see him being a police officer?? Hes too big hearted and soft.

Let him be a clerk for a zoo while hes studying to be a proper keeper. You can keep the part about him not being able to be a farmer cause he cant bring himself to sell the animals that's fine. Let him be a zoo keeper!! Please please please he'd love it I'm sure!

[twistedtummies2]

Year of the Bat - Number 13

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “Without Batman, crime has no punchline.” Number 13 is…The Man Who Killed Batman.

In contrast to our previous pick, “Appointment in Crime Alley,” this is one of the most comedic and quirky episodes of the entire series. It almost feels like a dark comedy you’d see in the 80s, more than anything else, and that’s part of what makes it so great! The plot revolves around a wannabe gangster called “Sid the Squid,” voiced by the marvelous Matt Frewer, of all people. The story begins with Sid going to his employer, crime boss Rupert Thorne, seeking help. When Thorne asks to know what’s going on, Sid begins to elaborate on his story, and most of the remaining episode plays out in flashback.

It's revealed that Sid was suckered into helping some of Thorne’s thugs with a scheme, the idea being the shrimpy little buffoon would distract Batman while the other goons got away. However, this plan works too well, and Batman is seemingly accidentally killed while trying to capture Sid. The runt of the underworld suddenly becomes hailed as a king of crime, but he soon finds his new reputation is more of a curse than a blessing. Things escalate to the point where the Joker himself seeks Sid out, hoping to find out if it’s true that the little weasel has destroyed the Dark Knight. This is where things get interesting, and it’s why the episode is so greatly remembered: when the Joker finds out Batman might be dead, he first tries to prove that he isn’t by staging a robbery…and when he starts to realize Batman may truly be gone…he’s DEPRESSED. The Joker becomes crestfallen, unable to finish the job, genuinely saddened and hurt by the realization that not only has his nemesis apparently kicked the bucket, but that he wasn’t the one who did it! He throws a mock funeral for the Caped Crusader – accompanied by probably the greatest eulogy in fiction, and Harley Quinn playing “Amazing Grace” on a kazoo…no comment – and then tries to kill Sid by dropping him in a coffin into a vat of acidic chemicals, which may or may not be the same ones that turned the Clown Prince into what he is today. (That part is ambiguous.) All this stuff with the Joker is classic, and everyone talks about it; it’s equal parts dark, funny, and surprisingly sorrowful, making for one of the Harlequin of Hate’s greatest scenes in the entire franchise. Indeed, Mark Hamill – the voice of the Joker – has gone on record more than once saying this was one of his favorite episodes, and that Joker’s most famous quote from the story (our episode quote of the day) has always been his favorite line.

As great as the stuff with the Joker is, it’s far from all that makes this episode good! I won’t go into detail on how Sid escapes the Joker, and how the story ends, but suffice it to say, obviously, Batman isn’t ACTUALLY dead. In fact, he reveals he’s been trailing Sid basically all this time, hoping and waiting for the opportune moment to strike at Thorne in the process. (Which honestly makes the stuff with the Joker even funnier, when you realize Bruce was literally trolling the Ace of Knaves behind the scenes. Glorious.) Sid, himself, is actually a big part of what makes the story so much fun: he reminds me a lot of characters like Smee from “Peter Pan” or Kronk from “The Emperor’s New Groove.” In terms of comics, he also reminds me a lot of my preferred versions of Killer Moth: Sid is basically a fanboy of criminals, who wants the prestige and power famous crooks get. However, he’s way too dumb, way too clumsy, and way too softhearted to be any real threat or make a name for himself. This makes the way things end ironic and surprisingly heartwarming, and it keeps him from being an unlikeable or annoying character, because we realize he’s in WAY over his head, and it only gets worse and worse as the story goes on. We don’t exactly want Sid to win, but we don’t want him to suffer, either. He’s another case of an unusual protagonist, and one of the best examples the show ever gave us. Whether you love the story for him, the Joker, or even other reasons, there’s plenty that makes this episode a true classic.

Tomorrow we move on to Number 12! Hint: “Life used to be so placid! Won’t you PLEASE put down that acid?! And Say That We’re Sweethearts Again!”

[ladybugpowermakeup]

Kronk Headcanon

Okay, so I was watching the work of cinema mastery that is “The Emperor’s New Groove” yesterday with some friends, and at one point I made the comment that Kronk reacts to a situation the way a therapist would. I’m a psych grad and I’m very perceptive to characters asking the right questions or making comments that cause others to reflect on themselves or the situation. But the longer we thought about it, the more sense it made. 

I imagine that this is a situation where Kronk is not, in fact, a fully licensed clinician, or if he is, he’s very very new at it. He seems wildly unprepared for the craziness, and my guess is that he’s a student doing his internship (considering that Kuzko mentions that “this year’s model is named Kronk”, he’s only been there a little bit). He’s clearly there for Yzma, considering he hardly ever leaves her side, and it’s shown through the scene at Pacha’s house that he knows how to interact with kids, too, but that seems more like a big brother than anything else. So let’s assume that he’s got a general understanding of psychology, with a particular focus on working with the elderly. 

So let’s go through this hypothetical scenario with Kronk. He’s working as the assistant to the emperor’s advisor, who, let’s face it, qualified for retirement years ago. But she’s becoming old and even violent and refuses to let go of her place in the palace, and so Kronk’s job is to help her adjust to the idea of retirement with a generous pension plan. But, since she’s stubborn and set in her ways, he needs to help Yzma come to that conclusion herself. She’s obviously capable of violence, and no one wants her or anyone else to get hurt in the process of removing her from her position. So Kronk goes in and works with her, teaches her healthy ways to cope with her anger, and yeah he’s not perfect and makes mistakes, but he’s still learning, right? And besides, the lady he’s working under is scary beyond all reason, so sometimes she can convince him of things over his better judgement simply because he doesn’t want to be on the other end, but usually they have a very good working relationship and it seems to be going alright. 

And then the emperor ruins it by firing her. Kuzko didn’t mean it maliciously, he’s a kid who can have everything he wants and knows it and uses it. But the fact remains that this woman’s life is crumbling around her and this is a woman who has access to large hammers and stashes of poison. So Kronk tries to do damage control, helping her get out her aggression on the busts. But he says the wrong thing and this elderly and slightly deranged woman gets an idea and now they’re in the lab talking about fleas and the postage service. And poison. 

And now Yzma’s discussing having a dinner and inviting Kuzko and about how the three of them - soon to be the TWO of them - are the only ones who know about her being fired, and Kronk just has to make sure that he’s hearing this correctly and verifies that yes, this woman intends to assassinate the emperor for her own gain and revenge.

But obviously, our sunshine himbo Kronk doesn’t want to poison anyone, so what does he do? 

He switches the vials. He doesn’t use the poison, he grabs a relatively harmless one and hopes it’ll do the trick. He knows that Yzma’s making this plan in a moment of anger and betrayal and heartbreak, so he’s hoping that she’ll calm down before the dinner, but she doesn’t and all she can think about is the poison that’s going to kill the emperor. And Kronk, hoping that seeing the consequences of her actions would get to her, actually does it. He had hoped that maybe seeing the emperor’s passed out/llama body would get her to come to her senses, but nothing reaches her and, as much as he tries to buy time for her to consider the ramifications of what she’s asking by offering her dessert and coffee, he finds himself taking the unconscious llama body of his emperor out to the canal. 

Like he said, this old lady is scary beyond all reason. And it takes him far too long to remember his ethics and not let the sack fall off the edge of the waterfall. 

By this point, he’s way in over his head. He just assisted in a coup attempt by accident and is now carrying the body of his emperor - who currently looks like a discolored llama - in a canvas sack down the stairs of the city and panics. He trips, the sack ends up in the cart of a pesant, and Kronk is left wondering where it all went wrong. 

And things go from bad to worse when Yzma fully takes over the kingdom without a care in the world. By this point, Kronk’s been able to get his head screwed on straight and realizes that this woman is not going to listen to reason, so when he slips and reveals that he didn’t kill Kuzko, he decides that the best thing he can do is to take Yzma on a wild goose chase through the jungle. But when a squirrel gives them genuine directions, he ends up at that diner and we all know what happened there - he still can’t believe he forgot it was her birthday. 

It isn’t until that night that he realizes he knows who Kuzko is with, where he lives (due to the emperor’s nonstop talk about Kuzko-topia), and that since they ran into each other at the diner, it’s very unlikely that the man and the llama would beat them there. What better way to ease Yzma’s suspicion than to show her that he’s not there? If he can manage it, they’ll be able to “clear” the house as free of any talking llamas, Yzma can go back to the palace or maybe chasing after daydreams, and Kronk can trust that the village guy will keep the emperor safe until Yzma is gone - because let’s be real, a woman that old traipsing through the jungle is not really going to last long. And if Kuzko is there, maybe he can try and get some kind of reality through to her. It’s a slim hope, but a hope nonetheless. 

But they get there, and there’s no llama in sight, just a pregnant mother and her two children - Kronk immediately puts himself between his boss and the kids, but assumes (correctly) that Chicha can take care of herself. When they're “accidentally” trapped in a dark room, he’s almost relieved. At least this setback wasn’t him being intentionally idiotic, he can’t be blamed for this one. If they just stay in here until Kuzko and his companion get back to the palace, maybe they can find the lab and get him changed back? Maybe Yzma will die of a burst blood vessel and it’ll all work itself out? He’s really grasping at straws here. But as long as they’re in this room, Yzma’s relatively harmless, so he’s not inclined to try and break them out. 

Besides, it is a lovely mahogany. It would be a shame to ruin it. 

He’s flabbergasted when the little family somehow manage to thwart Yzma’s violent attempt to break down the door, and downright impressed when they, seemingly without effort, manage to string her up covered in feathers. He has to laugh at it, the first time in a while, until he hears her screams and sees the footprints. 

“Let’s not wait until the family reunion, okay?” he says, and he can practically feel the camaraderie between them. 

They aren’t even halfway to the palace when karma finally hits and quite literally knocks them out of the air. Kronk barely has time to blink before they’re back at the palace and rushing to the lab. He can’t even stop Yzma before she’s grabbed the last vial and run off to hide dramatically as the man and llama rush in. This woman needs to be stopped, he knows, but he’s so far out of his league that he doesn’t even know what to do anymore. When asked how they got there, he just shrugs. By all accounts, it just doesn’t make sense. But he’s quickly jerked back to a sense of his surroundings when the old woman tosses him a freaking knife and orders him to kill them. Literally torn, it takes him a few seconds to respond while his ethical brain is still mulling over what the actual heck is happening, and those few seconds are enough to make her turn on him, too. 

Her words are enough to bring him to tears, but it only takes a moment for him to snap. He tries to bring down the chandelier on her, but of course it misses and that few seconds is enough for her to send him tumbling down a trapdoor. He barely manages to find his way out of the system of tunnels, eventually slamming out into the sunlight and apparently providing a deus ex machina to the emperor, getting him the vial he needs to get back to his own skin. 

It’s about at that point that Kronk decides that maybe, just maybe, being a junior chipmunk leader is more appealing as a career choice. 

[shae-la-hyene]

Top 10 Disney sequels that were not that bad

You could live all your life without seeing a Disney sequel, and you'd probably better off for it. But some of them, if you don't look too closely and spend your time mourning the original movie, are frankly not that bad.

Will be judged on the quality of songs, of course, on whether or not they stay true to the original movie's message and characterization, f the art doesn't make me want to jump a window, and if the plot is actually interesting and has its own important message.

10 Brother Bear 2

Did I like that they made a sequel just for the very heteronormative purpose of getting Kinai a girlfriend ? Hell no. Does it erase the fact that the movie holds itself together anyway ? Not really. Not one of my faves, but it's still... not that bad. Characters stay mostly the same, which is sadly rare in disney sequels, and Nita's emotionnal journey is kinda good. Can't remember for the life of me any songs, but since I didn't save any of them in my own playlist I'll go with a wild guess of : they were shit. Also chose that image just to show how her eyelashes were thicker, her eyebrows thin and stylish (for the time). Because she's a girl. And you better never forget it when an animal is a girl.

9 Cinderella 2

It's one of those weird ones that is just a collection of three or so short stories. And frankly, they were kinda good ? Love, love, the story between Anastasia and the Baker, it's one of the cutest thing ever and has reached my heart way better than Cinderella and her prince's ever did. Jack Jack's arc was interesting, and taught the viewer the priceless lesson of 'stay who you are, that's what you do best' and Cinderella's struggling debuts as a princess are the logical continuation, her characterization something a passionate tumblr user could have come up with, so it rings true. It's not grandiose by any mean, but it's rather unassuming and just works out. The art is a little less sharp than the original, but it's still pretty good. I love it.

8 Kronk's New Groove

The Emperor's New Groove was genius and Kronk is the himbo of our hearts. It is just natural that the sequel is about him, he deserves it. Weirdly not disliked as much as I'd think Yzma in her half kitten state. Maybe I should question my kinks more closely. Kronk is a good one, even as a villain's minion, and we loved seeing him in a journey to create a life that is better suited for him, find happiness and spread kindness. They did not make him any less stupid, and that's how you know they did right by him. I like the way his love interest look ! She's not pretty-princess-perfect, but you know they'll be good for each other. Art is consistent with the first, no loss on this side, which is pretty appreciated.

7 Cinderella 3

They went bonkers with this one, and the Prince has this feral Barbie character energy that I love. They could have gone either destroy everything we did knew of him to create him an actual personality, or kept him with no personality and little to no impact on the movie, but they didn't. They made him great, but still the one that rolled his eyes at the ball, and the one that is kinda face blind and struggles but tries ! Everyone's character is still kept mostly intact, the plot makes sense, and if Ao3 is to be trusted, giving us a time travel AU rewrite of their story was a good idea. The art is a bit more sloppy, the colors are just not right compared to the first, but you know what ? Whatever. It's fun and cool and there's the Prince jumping from a window and then trying (and failing) to make his horse jump into a boat across water. That counts for something. Cinderella is also a badass WITHOUT removing her kind, hopeful and sweet self.

6 Peter Pan 2

I actually kinda liked it ? It was the last I watched, after way too many sequels that I avoided watching for twenty years, so many by then my standards were low. But it was pretty good. Art is consistent and not half assed just to get the movie out fast. They didn't make whatever-her-name-is the exact replica of her mother. She has a different story arc, a different lesson to learn. Peter Pan and the lost boys didn't evolve, or noticed that like two good decades passed since Wendy left, or changed what they wanted or thought about all day long. Which is on brand, the main thing about them is to be stuck in childhood and never growing up. Every day is the same for them, and have them any different or changed with a valuable lesson would be ooc. Tink is still a jealous bitch and that stays on brand (also confirms that she's fitting for my sister to have tattooed on her back) and only shows more positive feelings toward the girl when she was obviously not trying to steal her Peter, and was willing to change and hope again to save her. She is a good Lost Boy because she's not as much as a GirlTM as her mother was, so that works. Also the context changes, and you can see the inspiration from Narnia : children that grew up too fast and don't have time for childish things because the war has stolen it from them. Love that Wendy grew up to cherish Peter Pan's stories and the childhood that goes with it as something precious and to be protected, and how relieved she is when she sees it brought back to life in her daughter in the end.

5 Winnie the Pooh 2 & following

Not even sure I watched all of the Winnie movies, and probably not in order. But Wherever you are will stay in my heart forever, I love the whole movie, and the story with everyone trying their best to work together to find CR. It's pretty sad, in a good way. Everyone struggles their own way, everyone's character shining bright in their own complexity. Rabbit struggling with his anger issues, Pooh being called out for his careless obliviousness and feeling guilty for not remembering CR's advice, Piglet being an anxious mess. Also contains the best scene to ever exist : the not knot joke. Everyone does their own journey, while they all get lost. And they get found, and everything is right again. If the first movie was careless childhood, the sequel is struggling to adapt when everyone wants you to grow up. I really, really love it.

4 Bambi 2

Super good ! I didn't know much what to expect when I watched it, but I was pleasantly surprised ! The art is still as beautiful and perfect as the first one, the aesthetic still the same. Bambi's emotional journey was interesting, and many children and older can relate to it. I especially liked his dad's arc. Having to reevaluate your values and life is not easy, especially when you're supposed to take care a ball of manic energy out of nowhere, with no idea how to do it. But eventually he learned out to forget what he was taught to think and focus on going with the flow and do what feels right in his relationship with Bambi. A lot of movies tried to do it, but Bambi 2 made it look simple, genuine, and somehow effortless. Fleur still being a gender icon. Also I liked the whole part with Bambi and his 'adversary' showing that he's just a bully trying to make everyone think he's important, and Bambi and his girl friend not giving him that attention and validation. How to deal with a bully 101, in a way that will resonate with most kids and teens, very well done. Would recommend showing it to a kid that struggles with grief they don't understand or who doesn't know how to react to a bully. And despite those important emotional lessons, it stills manages to look light and pretty and cute, with only harsher colors when humans were attacking them, and/or there is a fight/violence. Very similar to the first. Bravo.

3 Lilo and Stitch 2 & following

Looks effortlessly like the continuation of the first movie. All the characters are still perfectly in character. Stitch struggles with his fear of undoing all the hard work he did on himself in the first movie. Lilo struggles to trust him, handle her anger issues, and make them both fit into the proper mold she never fit herself, as well as trying to be the best daughter she can be to connect with her mother. Nani struggles to make the family work together in harmony when they are all very different and stubborn. She always took her role of family head at heart and has little to no time for herself in the middle of it, even as the ones in her care don't show any appreciation for her efforts. David struggles with self esteem and wonders if his relationship with Nani isn't working because he's not good enough, to finally re learn what he knew all along : that she is overworked and doesn't need him to be amazing, just to be here for her when she needs him, and that's something he already did. The two aliens, frankly, they don't seem to be struggling much, but they were still there for each other in most ways. It feels right, no problem, and the whole 'Stitch goes bad again because he wasn't charged enough' doesn't pass out as fake or forced in any way. Not bad.

2 The Little Mermaid 2

Another good example of 'far from being the carbon copy of her mother and instead highlights said mother's struggles at parenting' done well. Melody is not her mother, yet they go through the same struggle at the same age. Without even realizing it, Ariel had made the same mistake that her own father did and is the one causing her child's pain by keeping her away from the world she wants to be a part of. History repeats itself, but not in 'we couldn't come up with a good plot so here are re heated leftovers' but in 'our own abusive family history often comes back to bite us in the ass when we have to raise our own kids'. Melody struggles with being 'weird' and not fitting in anywhere, with being half and half that means she's never fully human or mermaid, and that is something that resonates easily with a lot of kids, teens, and often, adults. Finding your place in life when the world didn't make one for you is hard. And in the end, Melody was the one that threw away the decision of 'one or the other' and fought to have both in her life so she could be truly happy. Kids from two different worlds would probably appreciate that. The songs are good, like real good. Which is freaking rare in a sequel. The art is good too, nothing that goes out as ugly, and I love the ice parts. I love Morgana more than life itself. She's so pathetic and awesome. She has sooo much mommy issues. Can you tell how loaded I am on those from liking that movie ?

Honorable mentions

The Jungle Book 2 : could have been worse. I guess.

Fantasia 2000 : it's only there because it is not really a sequel but I wanted to say how amazing it is.

1 The Rescuers 2

So good it doesn't read as a sequel at all ! More like a continuation, just another adventure. I love it so much ! And not just because of Johanna, even if it's a big part of it. My sweet little... whatever that is... that singles herself as the only animal too dumb to speak. Every second that she's on screen is gold. I love her... She's the perfect sadistic, greedy and stupid minion. Her master is a very good villain, that is not much brighter than her, which makes for... interesting interactions. Love Cody, he's a good kid. Really appreciate that Australia is apparently spider free so I can still enjoy the movie knowing I'll never go there with my actual body. Babe. Giant. Golden. Eagle. Mama. Do I need to say more ? I don't know if it's better than the Rescuers 1 but it's not far. It's perfect, nothing re heated or fake. Bernard who is husband material every second of the movie (I want one) and Bianca who doesn't doubt that a single second despite the admirable efforts from the Ranger to steal her. And the albatros, who's even better than his cousin, which was hard. That hospital experience was traumatizing. Bernard, Bernard, Bernard... He's so awesome and brave and does wonder on little to no self-esteem. If you don't marry him asap, Bianca, you won't get to complain when I'll have snatched him for myself. And damn... The scene where Cody flies with Marahute was grandiose, breathtaking, like only good Disney do. It's a really good one, if you didn't watch it, you missed something great.

Also see : Top ten Villain songs, Top ten sad songs, Top ten romantic songs, Top ten intros that slap, Top ten pretty songs, Top ten not-that-bad sequel, Top ten worse sequels, Top five terrifying villains

[jujubean90]

AoT and their favorite Disney Movies

My head cannons regarding some AoT characters, their favorite Disney/ Pixar movies, and why.

WARNING: AOT SPOILERS

Reiner Braun- Wreck it Ralph

Reiner would relate to Ralph on so many levels. Just like Reiner, he wants the respect of his people so he sets out to prove himself. They are also known for smashing stuff. There's also the character Felix which could be similar to Bertholdt and how Bertholdt always had to balance out Reiner and remind him of his goal. Not to mention, Felix falls for this one bad-ass female character similar to Annie. Then you have Princess Vanellope's situation which is a little similar to Historia and her turbulent drama with her dad. Historia and Vaellope's real identities weren't known and the end, they are both royals, exploited by the people around them. So based of the connections he would make with his real life, I think Wreck it Ralph would be Reiner's favorite movie.

Historia Reiss- Inside Out And Frozen I

I chose Inside Out because of the transition we see in Historia Reiss through AoT. Joy has control over the main character Riley until Sadness touches a core memory. We see Historia go from this positive, loving, cheerful person to...well, not. Sadness and Joys dynamic in the movie would resonate with her so much, especially when they start working together. Seeing Riley accept her new life and transition into a better person would be inspirational to her.

Frozen I is her other go to movie because of several reasons. Anna gets the knowledge of her sister's powers erased and that would remind her of Frieda Reiss. The isolation of the kingdom of Arendelle would also resonate strongly in her because it would remind her of Paradis as a whole. Anna's self sacrifice to save Elsa from Hans would make her think of Ymir and what she did for her. Seeing Elsa mourn for her sister causing her to be freed from the spell would also catch her in the feels.

Zeke Yeager- Zootopia

Okay, first, this is a movie about animals and he is the Beast Titan, so it just makes sense. On a deeper level, we see the dynamic between predator and prey in Zootopia. While watching, I see him making a connection to Marley and the Eldians and this just draws him in so much more. When the Predators go "savage", he would have a moment where he goes, "OMG JUST LIKE THE ELDIANS BECOMING TITANS!" When Officer Judy comments about predatory biology being the reason behind predators going "Savage" and the fall out occurs where they are discriminated, you better believe Zeke felt that on a personal level as an Eldian. AND THEN, when the plot really comes out and there's a serum being used to make predator's savage because of it, he just loses it and this instantly becomes his favorite movie.

Armin Arlet- Moana

Armin's drive to go beyond the Wall is to see the ocean, so Moana makes the most sense. What further solidifies this as being his favorite movie is Moana's desire to go beyond the reef even though her father forbids it because it's dangerous. This resonates with him because he has lived behind the walls and cannot go out because of the Titans. Moana reminds him of Eren, especially when Maui and her face Te Ka and she refuses to turn back against their better judgement. Maui's fishhook is damaged because of the confrontation. Eren's decisions often led to dire consequences. The ocean automatically makes this his favorite, while the other connections just seal it for him.

Sasha Braus- Brave

Obvious reason, Merdia uses a bow. The drama between Merida and her mother makes her reflect on what's going on between her dad and herself. Sasha retaliated and joined the military. Merida retaliated and competed for her own hand in marriage and she just thought that was the most kick ass thing. Then, when Merida sought to repair the relationship with her mother, she felt that on a personal level.

Niccolo- Ratatouille

It involves food and Niccolo is a chef, however, things can get a little deeper with this one too. One underlying dynamic that might really drive this home for Niccolo is the division and later the collaboration between humans and the rats. Humans view rats as vermin, but because of Remy, Alfredo Linguini becomes a chef. He was a Marley soldier and he hated the Eldians, but because of his capture and time, he became a chef and he stamped out most of his racism because of his interactions AND he fell in love with an Eldian, Sasha Braus in the process. So, this movie would hands down be an automatic favorite for him.

Ymir- Frozen I and Mulan

Ymir would enjoy these movies because she's all about people revealing who they truly are. In Frozen 1, Elsa hides her powers because she's afraid of what others will think and she doesn't want to scare people. This reminds Ymir of everyone she's interacted with who are in similar situations including Sasha with her accent, Historia with her royal ties, and her self as a Titan and former Eldian from Marley. And the fact that Elsa and Anna didn't need a man to accomplish all this was a huge plus. You know she thought of Historia. I also bet she joked and stated Hans was Reiner just out of spite.

Mulan is a favorite because of a similar reason. Mulan hides her identity to enlist in the military and does this as an act of self-sacrifice. While Ymir states she is living for herself, we know this isn't true because of the choices she makes in the end. She automatically will think of Historia/ Krista during their time in the 104th. And the LGBT vibes from Shang and Mulan/Ping are icing on the cake.

Conny Springer- The Emperor's New Groove

I don't have much of a thorough explanation as to why this is Conny Springer's favorite, but I just felt in my gut that he would get the biggest kick out of it. Especially Kronk because the running joke as that he and Sasha are the idiots of the 104th and Kronk is...well, he is Kronk. He also finds Kuzco's narcissism hilarious because he referred to himself as a genius throughout his time in the 104th. He had no business talking himself up that much but he laughs about it now. I think on very serious level, Kuzco's plan to build over Pacha's village would sort of draw him in considering what happened to his own village.

Levi Ackerman and Erwin Smith: Wall-E

I chose Wall-E because Levi is a clean freak and he hates litter and so I imagine when new recruits ask him why he cleans so much, he sits them down and makes them watch this movie. Since Wall-E was in this trashy awful wasteland to which he continuously cleans, Levi would be reminded of the Underground and EVE is literally Erwin Smith. Just like EVE and Wall-E they end up trying to uncover some sort of truth. The Scout Regiment is labeled as a bunch of degenerates and the government seeks to undermine them all the time. During the royal government arc, we see the other branches turn on the Scout Regiment because Erwin and the crew are trying to serve humanity and uncover the truth about the Titans. So when Wall-E and EVE are labeled rogue robots and they have to struggle to save the plant to show the ship's captain, he gets some serious feels. That resonates big time. Follow that up with AUTO trying to keep the information Wall-E and EVE have uncovered quiet, and you can see why Wall-E is Levi's favorite movie and you know he watches this with Erwin all the time.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Loki

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

In the early years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, great villains were… well, they were less hard to come by than some would lead you to believe, but most of them were only good based on their actors and the performances they gave. Red Skull and Obadiah Stane are awesome villains, but they’re also rather simple ones, ones which have really simple goals and personalities that leave enough wiggle room for the actors to give a fun interpretation. We didn’t have complex, rich, and thematic villains like Ego or Killmonger or Thanos.

At least, that is, until Thor. Then we got Loki.

Loki was the big breakout star of the early MCU, and it’s not hard to see why. Pretty much every later villain that became beloved by fans has at least some sort of genesis in how Loki is portrayed here. The familial drama of Ego and Hela, the noble qualities of Vulture, the inherent tragedy of the backstory of Thanos… everything later villains were praised for got their start in everyone’s favorite trickster Asgardian. Praised by critics, loved by audiences, and so good he almost manages to make Thor: The Dark World watchable for about half an hour, Loki is one of the most fantastic characters in the entire MCU.

Too bad I’m not here to talk about how good he is as a character. I’m here to talk about him as a villain, and in that regard… Loki kinda sucks.

Motivation/Goals: Loki is, in short, an attention whore. But I say that with affection; Loki probably should have gotten some more appreciation from his dad Odin, but Odin blew him off a lot in favor of Thor. His drive to get some respect is what leads to his schemes in the first film, and his scheming carries through into the second and third Thor movies.

The real issue is with The Avengers where Loki, after falling through a wormhole, becomes essentially a generic doomsday villain. Or, he would be if he didn’t have so much pre-existing character development. He honestly suffers the same fate as Endgame!Thanos in this regard, where a complex and interesting villain gets watered down to be more blockbuster-friendly despite having tons of interesting characterization.

Performance: One thing that’s true for all of the films: Tom Hiddleston kills it. His Loki is exactly as he should be – cunning, slippery, underhanded, snarky, and just an absolute blast. He really sells Loki as an engaging and complex character. Even in the weaker films he features in, he tends to steal the show and make even dreadful slogs like The Dark World slightly watchable for short times.

Final Fate: In Infinity War, Loki sacrifices himself to save Thor from Thanos, which only somewhat works. He’s getting his own Disney+ spinoff so either he survived or the show’s about the continuing adventures of the Loki who escaped captivity in Endgame. Whatever the case may be, we thankfully haven’t seen the last of Loki.

Best Scene: Despite The Avengers aging rather poorly, I think most can agree that the “Puny god” scene is still one of the funniest and most awesome villain takedowns in the MCU. It also gets some hilarious callbacks in Ragnarok, which also features a legendary little moment that implies Loki bottomed for The Grandmaster. Oh, and there’s the three seconds in The Dark World where he turns into Cap, which is maybe the only good part of the film.

Best Quote: As always, the best bits of Loki come from Ragnarok, including his best line:

Worst Quote: As always, the worst bits of Loki come from The Avengers. Remember when he called Black Widow a whiny cunt?

Final Thoughts & Score: Time to be controversial! As a villain, I find Loki to be exceptionally underwhelming.

Now, don’t get me wrong: Tom Hiddleston’s performance is amazing across the board, even in the god-awful Thor: The Dark World, where he actually made the film slightly fun and watchable. And Loki is a fantastic character with an incredibly consistent arc across several movies which culminates in a heroic sacrifice that also utilizes his trademark craftiness and backstabbing. Loki is amazing in those regards, and there’s no denying the impact he had on the franchise as a whole, so if I was rating him as a character he’d easily be a 10/10.

But here on Psycho Analysis beeing a good character is an entirely different thing from being a good villain. Similar to the case with Kronk, Loki isn’t really all that evil outside of The Avengers. He’s a dick, sure, but this series isn’t called Dick Analysis. I’m trying to determine how effective, cool, and influential a character is as a villain, and Loki just… isn’t. Sure, he has good quips and a funny defeat, but that doesn’t make his showing in The Avengers any less of a waste of his skills, which are put to much better use in anti-heroic roles like in the latter two Thor films, where he is constantly swapping sides and backstabbing his brother and everyone else. In fact, in terms of everything Loki is about, Ragnarok is easily his best outing, showcasing his anti-heroic side to the extreme.

If it was only his outing in Thor that we were talking about, I’d easily give him an 8, but his showing in The Avengers is so bad and basic that I’m subtracting a whole number grade and giving Loki as a villain a 7/10. This is a different situation than the one with Thanos, were his Endgame counterpart is so radically different but is also from another timeline and doesn’t detract from the original Thanos, this is the same Loki across all these movies, and funny moments aside his portrayal in the original Marvel crossover event was really lackluster. I can’t stress enough that Loki is a fantastic character, but his best strengths are when he’s stabbing everyone in the back or when he’s actually getting along with Thor to some degree.

 As a villain, everything Loki did was done way better by many other villains. Is he going to be a villain in the Loki show on Disney+? Who can say. But whatever the case may be, it’s pretty doubtful Loki could ever hope to catch up to the rich villains we’ve gotten as of late. Loki plays much better as a tricky, sneaky anti-hero/villain than as an outright villain, and those are the strengths they need to play to, because Loki as a straight bad guy just does not work at all.

[demonwriterx]

Epithet Erased:A show centered around Kindness (and Barriers!)

*teleports behind you*

Epithet Erased was created by Branden Blaber, a guy known around Youtube by the name of JelloApocolypse  He is known for his famous comedy sketch series of “This is basically...” where he takes a certain show, video game or social media and makes them into parodies, now he had created an original series called Epithet Erased, escluviely being premiered on VRV and on Youtube!

The summary of Epithet Erased will make anyone new to the series interested enough to check out the episodes.

Epithet Erased is set in the world of Sweet Jazz City, where a lucky few are born with powers attached to their very souls known as “Epithets”. An Epithet stems from a single word attached to a users soul that can grant them any kind of power. Words like “Fire,” “Coupon” or … “Soup”. A magical artifact known as the “Arsene Amulet” is rumored to be able to steal an epithet away from its user, and they say it’s hidden somewhere in the Sweet Jazz Museum. Thieves burst down the doors in the middle of the night! Inscribed warriors do battle in the dark of the abandoned exhibits! Dinosaur bones come toppling to the floor! And a little girl named Molly is trapped in the middle of it all. Will her epithet, “Dumb” be enough to save her? Or will her epithet be… erased?

I stumbled across Epithet Erased a little late to the party with three of the episodes already released on JelloApocolypse’s channel. Even being a subscriber, I never got around to it until I decided to sit down and watch the first episode. But now, I wished I would have seen it sooner because of how much I love Epithet Erased! 

Epithet Erased is centered around the world of Epithets where certain people gain epithets, but only around one word. Many Epithet users have very powerful Epithets that they use for battle, protection, healing or even turning things into gold. But one main character, Molly, descibes her epithet as useless and “dumb” because it literally is her Epithet! Her Epithet is “dumb” which means that she can “dumb” down anything into literally nothing or just to negate attacks or special abilities. Epithets can also give people special passive abilities, one example is from Molly herself which she can make a bubble of silence around herself and others, as long as they are in the bubbles’ radius. 

Epithet Erased has a unique narration style and animation. Their animation budget is small as it feels more like a motion comic without the speech bubbles, but don’t let sway your opinion of it as the voice cast, art style and storytelling carries the series into comedic satisfaction. The episodic series go through arcs and the first 4 episodes take place in a museum! Where characters fight over the mysterious arsenic amulet which can steal other people’s epithets and gives it to the user.

Epithet Erased also does a top down narration, where the audience is looking down on the characters as the characters are moving around as profile boxes. If I would describe it, it is similar to a DnD board, which I suspect Epithet Erased was inspired from and also known RPG mechanics as most users of epithets run on stamina and creativity. 

Let’s introduce some characters and the face of the series, Molly. 

Molly is 12 years old, and works in her family’s toy shop! (sometimes all on her own, because her father is worthless garbage...but let’s not get into that now) Molly has issues with her self-esteem which stems from the fact that she has to be the adult in her family since she cannot count on her father and sister. It all stems from the fact that the family fell apart from the death of her mother five years prior, ever since then, Molly has been the one to keep her family going. Molly wears a bear hoodie at all time because it was created by her mother. But even with problems at home, Molly is genueriely nice (and secretly savage, mostly savage....you’ll see). She cares about others, likes to talk to them, and understands what is going on in their point of view. She is struggling to be more  assertive, but she is getting there! 

Giovanni (one of my favorite characters so far!) is the leader of the Notorious BONZAI BLASTERS! A group of rapscallion and ruffians trying to make a name of themselves, consider them like team rocket from the Pokemon series. Giovanni is trying to be known in the criminal underworld, he has his devoted minions who follow him and express their undying love for him. Giovanni may act tough and jerky, but he is a secretly a giant softie. He cares about his minions and takes care of them. Giovanni can even knit! and crafted his own suit from scratch! 

Sylvie is a 15 year old boy, who recently graduated college with a PHD in Psychology, his epithet is “Drowsy”, which means he can put people to sleep and make their nightmares a reality! He can even put himself to sleep and summon his alter ego! A raging bull with a Scottish accent! He is a bit pompous and thinks he knows more than anyone in a room. But he secretly wants to have friends, luckily Molly is there to be his friend! and he has a lot to learn. 

Mera is an interesting character, with her epithet literally turning against her! I won’t say anything else because I don’t want to spoil anything else from the first arc and trust me! It will captivate you!

Indus is a big soft teddy bear and body guard of Mera, who he refers to as “lady Mera” which is very sweet. He does everything Mera tells him too, including cooking and doing laundry but he is kinda soft-headed (pretty dumb) think of him as Kronk and Mera as Ezma from Emperor’s new Groove. 

But these two, these two right here, are my absolute favorite pair! (because I found myself shipping them, im not sorry) The guy on the left is Ramsey, who appears in ep 6 and 7. His epithet is Goldbricker, which he can turn anything and himself into solid gold. A con man at heart, constantly on the run from a bounty hunter finally finds relief when he becomes partnered with a law abiding officer, Percy. 

Percy (right), is one of the top officers in her field. Her epithet is creating small buildings with magical abilities but her stamina is very low, if she makes too much or fights for too long, she can literally pass out and becomes defenseless.  She is very direct, strong, serious and little innocent, (especially around Ramsey and his constant innuendos, which is very funny). She doesn’t really respond to his comments and his sarcastic jokes, one of which he says to her “your cop is showing” and she gets very embarrassed and says “oh, I’m sorry” so she take things very literally. These two remind me of Judy and Nick from Zootopia, and I also love the good cop, and criminal partnership trope.

Epithet Erased is an action-packed, comedic masterpiece centered around great narration, voice acting and wonderful characters. The show constant theme being kindness to others and most characters of the series are very nice people just trying to make it in a cruel world. It is heartwarming and very funny! I highly recommend everyone to give it and chance and check it out on VRV and on youtube, I will provide a link to the first episode below. I really want this show to succeed and gain a following of support as not a lot of people know about this show, and I would hate to see it end early! This type of show does not come around every often, it is like a secret prize hidden away and everyone deserves a prize! Epithet Erased is a masterpiece of animation, storytelling and character that is unlike any other! 

Please check it out in the link below!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP4nS6ag1-E6TzlQvaWfiZg

[henrikvanderswoon]

Double the Kill: A Nancy Drew Play Written by 12-year-old Yours Truly - Readthrough Reactions

Okay, guys, I went through two cups of super strong coffee reading through this thing and I think I can hear colors now so… Have fun reading this!

I sincerely haven’t read this thing in probably ten years and I legitimately forgot almost everything about this play I wrote for myself and my twin/two best friends to perform. We used to write plays for each other all the time, as well as play Nancy Drew games together, so… this was all very fitting.

Anyway, this is a super long one and I APOLOGIZE but also I hope you enjoy reading this thing as much as I enjoyed writing it 😂

Okay, for starters, this story is titled: “Double the Kill” for two reasons that I can remember: (1) someone actually gets murdered, and (2) someone beheaded the Lincoln Memorial statue. 

…

You know when you’re in middle school and you’re assigned some topic to research for a project and suddenly you have this stupid amount of knowledge about something you don’t know what to do with? 

That’s what happened here. 

Anyway.

So, apparently I didn’t know what the word “pervert” was when I was 12 (poor, sheltered creature) so I legitimately named a character Blake Pervey and I’m gonna fling myself into the sun. 

Oh my gosh, I wrote up a case profile for this, complete with character roles and everything. Incredible.  

Let’s provide that for you guys:

The Case: Billionaire Erving Nickels is holding a benefit concert at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C., where the band “One Love” will be performing. Erv senses trouble, so he calls Nancy Drew and her best friend Bess Marvin to watch out for anything “suspicious.” But about an hour before the concert’s about to start, One Love’s lead singer Terri James is found dead near the Lincoln statue and the head of the statue is gone!

Contact: Erving Nickels - a billionaire who’d arranged the benefit concert. He asked Nancy to come and watch for anything “suspicious.” 

Suspects: 

Erving Nickels: Goes by Erv, for short. As it turns out, this man has actually gone bankrupt recently. Could he go to desperate measures to gain back his wealth?

Blake Pervey (I still want to die): One Love’s back-up singer. Terri had broken up with him recently because he’d attempted to cheat on her (huh, maybe he really is a pervert after all). Did he murder her to get revenge and take her place as the lead singer? 

Lyza Benton: The make-up artist. Lyza is always on the prowl for the next juicy gossip to spill to the press and gain publicity. Could she have killed Terri to create the ultimate story?

Myra “Ryan” Williams: One Love’s guitarist. She was the person Blake had attempted to cheat with, but she’d refused. Terri didn’t believe Ryan’s story and blamed her for everything, which caused the two women to hate each other.

Victim: Terry James

Okay. Already this is a little better than “Murder at Turquoise Inn,” because there are actual suspects with actual motives??? aMAZING. 

Wow, Nancy’s a bitch. She didn’t even tell Erving that Bess was coming along. 

Erv keeps saying that he thinks something bad is going to happen tonight, and Nancy and Bess are both like,“Can you please explain why?” And he’s like, “I just have a feeling.” Like boi, that’s sketch. 

Bess: “Sorry to change the subject, Mr. Nickels.” 

Erv: “Please, just call me Erv.” 

Bess: “No thank you.” 

Bess…I know Erv is a weird name, but…why? 

Mr. Nickels is taking Nancy and Bess on a tour, right? And I keep peppering in random facts about the Lincoln Memorial I learned for school and it’s SENDING ME. 

“I’ll watch and wait for our groovy band to arrive, while you girls split up and watch for suspicious activity. Now, let’s boogie!”

Asfbadka Erv, no one talks liKE That! 

I would just like to take a moment to preface the rest of this post with the fact that I wrote this for me and my friends, and we were always writing the stupidest dialogue for each other because we thought it was hilarious. Um…which hopefully explains lines like these: 

(1) No one calls Erv Nickels, the handsome billionaire, “Darling.” Except his mother.

(2) [We’re going to change.] No, don’t change. We like you guys just the way you are. *laughs obnoxiously* 

…

I hate myself. 

So Blake and Terri arrive in the limo and let me tell ya’ll Blake is definitely flirting with Erv right now and I’m so fucking confused. 

Terri: That man’s got problems. I guess money does that to people. 

Blake: But we have money and we don’t have problems. 

Terri: Maybe it only happens to men.” 

Blake: But… I am a man. 

Terri: Exactly.

Okay, you can tell my love for writing banter was here from the fuckin get-go. 

Oh god, now Blake is flirting with Nancy. Fuckin hell. I may not have known what the word “pervert” was when I was 12, but this man was aptly named. 

Suspicious, suspicious.*Mocking* ‘Can you girls watch for anything suspicious?’ Something suspicious, yeah right. Oh look! A BUG. Oh, soooo suspicious.

Bess…. I love you. 

Okay, as dumb as everything is in this thing, some of this dialogue is fucking cracking me up so hard.

Bess: No! Honestly. I swear, it’s almost like he’s trying to keep us busy so something bad can happen.

*A faraway scream cuts in from offstage*

*Nancy and Bess look off in the direction it came from, way too casual*

Bess: What was that?

Nancy: I dunno. 

*They pause, then their eyes widen in realization* 

Nancy: Oh crap.

Listen, I know I’m a comedic genius, but this is getting out of hand. Dsbfsjkdsjfbk

Bess: Mr. Nickels! What woman was screaming so high like that?

Erv: That was me. 

I CAN’T BREATHE. 

I saw Terri lying there on the floor, apparently dead. 

Erving… the woman is DEAD. What do you mean “apparently?” 

Nancy and Bess find a letter Terri was going to give to Erving to tell him she can’t do the concert because she also felt like something terrible was going to happen to her, and all Bess can do is repeatedly laugh at the word, “Flee.” 

Hey, too bad “Honest Abe” is missing his head, otherwise he could tell us whodunnit.

Wow, yall. Bess is my favorite. 

You know, the funniest thing about this is that you can definitely tell how many of the games I played between writing my horrible novel at the age of ten and writing this. If this thing had better dialogue and more fleshed out story/characterization, I could picture this as an actual game, not gonna lie. 

And… maybe if it didn’t involve removing the whole-ass head of the Lincoln statue…

Yanno, tiny details like that.

Lyza: *laughing* Scared you, didn’t I? 

Bess: Oh, “scared’"is such a strong word. I’d say more… "severely startled.”

So Erving reveals to Nancy that he’s actually not dumb as bricks, but puts up the facade because he’s broke and doesn’t want anyone thinking he’s not still super rich and air-headed. I’m crying. 

You sensed something bad was going to happen. You should have called the police to stand guard! Not some amatuer teenager who calls herself a detective and her little friend!

…. The pervert has a point. 

So Lyza likes to meddle in people’s business. Ryan had written about Blake’s advances in her journal and Lyza blackmailed her about it, Terri blamed Ryan for Blake’s attempted cheating. Blake tried to bribe Ryan into going out with him by telling her he’d discovered a way to get his hands on a fabulous collection of priceless jewels, and Terri broke it off with him. He’s upset, Ryan’s pissed that Terri thinks she went along with Blake, Erving borrowed money to organize the benefit concert (in order to benefit himself) and now he’s in even deeper debt because the concert has been cancelled and Lyza is having a fuckin field day. 

BOY AM I ON BOARD FOR THIS SHIT.

Before he came into wealth, Erving worked in a museum in Chicago, and Bess finds a piece of paper on the floor of Ryan’s trailer with the phone number to this exact museum. Nancy calls to see if there is any connection between that museum and the Lincoln Memorial and apparently there’s a theory that the head of the Lincoln statue contains jewels that the museum talks about in a part of their exhibit. 

*kronk’s face* Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.

Nancy: For all I know, you could be the murderer. 

Erv: Why would I do that? I needed the money from the concert!

Nancy: No you didn’t. You could’ve just–I dunno–stolen the head of Abe over there in search for the ALLEGED JEWELS INSIDE.

Ya’ll… please don’t ask me how the FUCK one person would get tools to remove that head without anyone noticing. Please. 

Blake: Hey, guys, have you seen Ryan anywhere? 

Nancy: Why? You gonna ask her out again?

Kjdbfisfdosidnf FUCKIN’ SAVAGE, NANCE. 

oH MY GOD THE CULPRIT SLIPPED UP SO EASILY I’M SCREAMING. 

oH my god, Nancy told Erving they needed something to pick the lock on one of the trailers and he’s all: “Like a bobby pin?” And just takes off his hat, removes a bobby pin, and “lets his long hair cascade down and over his shoulders like a waterfall” and I’m crying. I can’t fuckin’ breathe.

Oh shit, wait… the first culprit was actually covering for the real culprit all along I’m losing my mind. My twelve-year-old brain was so advanced I just threw a curveball at myself sjdbfshdbfagh

Okay, so I’m not gonna spoil anything because I think it’s hilarious to keep you all wondering what the fuck is going on and who the hell did it and why, but I would just like you all to know that this play literally ends with one of the characters singing Hannah Montana’s “The Best of Both Worlds” completely off key because I thought it would be hilarious and I think that really tells you a lot about who I am as a person.

[raeynbowboi]

Top 10 Disney Villains

10. King Candy Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Although he’s newer to the villain roster, King Candy was a well-written villain who served as a perfect blend of humorous and genuinely threatening. He also tied very nicely into the themes of the film, which makes him stand out in my memory as a good villain, because I take more than just personality and actions into account when judging characters, but also role in the narrative, and how they support the themes and ideas of the story. King Candy is the perfect villain for a story like this, which is why I consider him good enough to be on this list, even if as a villain himself, he might not be the most memorable among the Disney canon.

9. Gaston Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Perhaps the Disney villain we’re most likely to meet in real life, Gaston is the perfect example of toxic masculinity on full display. He’s a great anthithesis to the Beast, though I never saw him all that handsome, which sort of detracts just a little bit from the story. But in a story about how looks don’t matter, but actions do, he’s a great foil to the love interest. He’s a selfish hateful man who is handed everything he wants, and when he doesn’t get his way, he strongarms people until they meet his demands. Yet, despite his personality, he retains a legion of followers who are more-so admirers than actual friends. He never once considers anyone to be his equal or of sufficient worth unless it was helpful in his own endeavors. And anyone who has ever had a friend who basically used them and then ditched them at the soonest convenience can probably recognize that kind of so-called “friend” in Gaston. He’s a great villain to dissect as an analysis of our current culture, but I don’t want to write a five page essay on Gaston for a top 10 list. 

8. Yzma Emperor’s New Groove (2000)

Inarguably Disney’s best comedic villain (not counting her henchman Kronk), Yzma is a brilliantly funny character whose exaggurated appearance and over-the-top personality blend well with the fast-paced slapstick comedy that fills the movie. Yet, despite being a funny villainess, she avoids a major pitfall of many comedic villains by also being legitimately threatening and dangerous to our heroes. That, combined with the excellent writing in the movie makes Yzma so memorable and likable.

7. Mother Gothel Tangled (2010)

Although her actual villainous actions in the movie are surprsingly few and far between, I genuinely love Mother Gothel as a villainess. Her motivations are well-established, and she’s the sole reason the story has any plot at all. Comparisons have been made to the living conditions of both Quasimodo and Rapunzel, and I would genuinely agree that Mother Gothel is akin to a diet version of Frollo without all the genocide and religious superiority. She has to be more discreet and pretend to be kind in order to keep her little flower content to remain obedient locked away from the outside world. It makes total sense the way she treats Rapunzel, and her entire character, personality, and role all fit together to enhance the narrative of the story.

6. Long John Silver Treasure Planet (2002)

Arguably one of the most human villains from Disney, Silver is a beautiful complexity as he juggles the duality of being a father-figure to the impressionable young Jim, while also betraying Jim’s trust. Since Jim’s father left when he was a child, Jim closes himself off from people and seems adrift in the world. Silver, who has no need to trick the boy for his mutiny to succeed, still takes the time to take Jim under his wing, nurture the boy’s abilities, and form a bond. Heck, with how relatively apathetic Jim was, he could have manipulated Jim into hating being on the ship, and thus have him be happy when the mutiny sets him free. But instead, he chose to teach the boy and boost his confidence. In the end, Silver is a compelling Anti-Villain where it’s hard to really define him as a good or wicked person. That is honestly more interesting than just being a straight deceitful villain.

5. Bill Sykes Oliver & Company (1988)

Perhaps the most surprising choice on my list, Sykes was a villain from Oliver & Company, a retelling of Oliver Twist with stray dogs and a kitten. However, despite Disney’s family friendly brand, Sykes is a surprisingly menacing character. A loan shark and a cut-throat business man, he spends most of the movie threatening to kill Fagin which is far darker than Disney tends to get. While many Disney villains want to kill people, those desires were driven by personal grievances with that person or people. With Sykes, it’s cold, ruthless business. He doesn’t care about Fagin’s life. All he cares about is getting his money, and Fagin’s life just happens to be the collateral. It’s the purest form of cold-blooded murder, and that’s not a common thing among Disney villains.

4. Ursula The Little Mermaid (1989)

There’s a good reason Ursula is one of the flagship villains of this franchise. She has a strong personality, is a great antagonist, and directly plays off the protagonist’s weaknesses to win. Second only to Scar, and possibly Jafar, Ursula is the classic hand-drawn animated Disney villain to get closest to winning. The fact that she’s based on a drag queen is kind of perfect, since the fairytale was written by Hans Christian Andersen to express his love for Edvard Collin discreetly. He intended to give it to Edvard as a wedding gift, but Edvard and his wife purposefully “forgot” to tell him when the wedding was out of fear that he’d make a scene or announce his love for Edvard in front of everyone. Thus, the mermaid’s taboo love of someone she shouldn’t who comes from an entirely different way of living is a direct parallel to Hans’ feelings for the young Gentleman, and the mermaid being unable to speak and suffering greatly to be near her love is a clear metaphor for Hans’ own feelings of torture. So the inclusion of a drag queen in a movie adaptation of a covert metaphorical gay romantic tragedy is just deliciously fitting. 

3. The Horned King The Black Cauldron (1984)

Sykes got a place on this list for being genuinely intimidating, but this villain is living nightmare fuel. One of the best things a genuinely threatening villain can do is successfully scare you, and this villain scared the living daylights out of me as a child. In fact, he was the only Disney villain to truly and completely scare me as a child. The rest of the villains were pretty much just bad characters, but the Horned King was far more terrifying than anything else I’d seen as a kid. Though his movie bombed and the story itself was a bit lacking, the Horned King was a genuinely horrifying presence, and to this day, I can’t think Disney Villains without this guy clawing his way into my mind. Maybe as a villain himself, he’s a bit flat, but he’s a horrific undead murderous monster trying to snuff out all life. He doesn’t need to be that complex for what he is, and that works with the type of villain that he was created to be.

2. Claude Frollo The Hunchback of Notre-Dame (1996)

If Sykes made it to number 5 for the cold-blooded attempt at murder on one person, Frollo strolls into 2nd place for his cold-blooded successful mass racial/ethnic genocide of multiple people over a long reign of tyranny. Although we don’t see his treats on-screen, he very verbally implies that he has been executing people one by one for at least twenty years as he crushes ants. We even see him barricade a family with children inside of their house and then proceed to burn it down. This man is not messing around, and I love it. When it coems to dark, twisted, and messed up villains, Frollo takes the cake. He is hands down one of the greatest and most horrible villains out there. And the fact that he does this all in the name of God is a hauntingly dark reminder of the true cruelty of the medieval Christian church. Frollo was written in the original book to be a deliberate critique of the Catholic church, and I for one am grateful that Disney decided to be faithful to Frollo’s horrible nature when adapting to film. 

1. Maleficent Sleeping Beauty (1959)

Finally, we reach the leader of the Disney Villains. How could I not put her at the top of this list? She literally fights with all the powers of Hell. But what I like most about her is what you can piece together from the narrative. Out of all the fairies, only Fauna thinks that Maleficent could be reasoned with, and she feels sad at the idea that Maleficent may not even grasp the concept of happiness, or what it feels like to be loved. This opens Maleficent up to being a product of abuse, abandonment, and bitterness. Her hatred for the world and her actions of spite and envy come into a new light with the idea that it’s kindled from neglect and exclusion from others. It offers the question of what would happen if someone did try to just talk to her, and offers a possibly sympathetic reading of her character. But, the true crux of what Maleficent stands for is that she’s evil, and she takes great pleasure in her evil ways. She cursed a baby because she wasn’t invited to a party. When it comes to pure, unfiltered evil, Maleficent has that in spades. So, Maleficent is a perfect character no matter which type you prefer as a villain: the tormented outcast lashing out, or the heartless monster lighting the world on fire for fun. No matter what kind of villain you prefer, there’s a way of reading her narrative to satisfy you.

[but-the-library-of-alexandria]

dnd characters I’ll never use: player or npcs

I already shared this with my dnd playing friends but I’ll put them here too to spread the love far and wide. Disclaimer: I’m not at all experienced with dnd, these are all largely based on fun character ideas and not very rooted in stats, class stuff or tactics. Genders are of course always arbitrary and interchangeable.

Before she was a party member, she was a store clerk. Worked at a soul-sucking supermarket. Has very high persuasion, charisma and constitution. Why? Dude, she’s worked in customer service. She had to pretend to be friendly while putting up the with the worst humanity can offer. War is nothing. She’s being dragged along on this quest, but is largely apathetic. Her job has crushed her spark for good. True neutral. A bard? Maybe? It makes sense that she went to music school and ended up with a retail career.

A paladin/knight who thinks he’s Don Quixote - naive and good-hearted, a classic white knight who wants to rescue all the damsels and ride all the noble steeds. The drawback is that he’s a complete idiot. Very low wisdom and intelligence. Good combat stats, and amusingly high charisma. Probably a noble. Very green. Lawful good to the max.

A fine lady who is extremely posh, quite elderly. Lost her rich husband recently. Probably owns a poodle called Wetherby. Wields the biggest, most vicious giant axe you’ve ever seen. It’s called Verity. She is, in fact, a barbarian. Lawful neutral.

(Based on a tumblr post) This character is secretly just two gnomes stacked in a trench coat. Nobody but the DM must know. Try to keep up the facade for as long as possible. Why are they doing this stunt? Literally just fee evasion. It’s cheaper to pay for one human with very short arms than two gnomes. Obviously chaotic, neutral or good. Maybe each is a bit different.

An ex-schoolteacher who becomes the group mother. Literally. She calls the party her ‘children’. A bard, Sound-of-Music style? Or a cleric. Very patronising in the way she speaks. However, much liked. An all-rounder. Lawful good. Might make a good patron-type npc.

A bard who literally thinks life is a musical. Always singing; speaks only in song, or if she does speak, it’s in a disney-like tone - strong Giselle from enchanted vibes. Terrible stealth modifiers, because she does her own theme music like Kronk. She and the above paladin knight fall in love instantly. Nobody has ever understood either of them until now. They will definitely insist on romantic duets and a giant fancy wedding, despite not really knowing each other. Noble background; an ex actress. Lawful good.

Someone otherwise useful and skillful, perhaps a rogue or a fighter, who has a weakness of instantly falling in lust with any villain they encounter. They just have a thing for the bad guys/girls. Chaotic good, or lawful neutral.

A character who can’t seem to talk without mentioning her boyfriend, Freddie: ‘it’s just like Freddie, my boyfriend, said the other day… Back in the city, where I met my boyfriend, Freddie… damn, this monster is so tough even Freddie, my boyfriend, might not be able to kill it!’ Freddie does not, as it turns out, exist. After this is disclosed, the question is - was she lying? Does she actually think Freddie is real? Is she crazy? Or did Freddie exist, once, and some magical weirdness is going on? Who knows. The poor girl - probably a cleric or someone religiously magical - clearly has some mental shit to deal with.

A mage or sorcerer who performs magic in the style of irl kids’ magicians. They don’t actually believe in magic, and keep insisting it’s all just clever tricks and illusions. Idk enough about the magic-type classes to decide which one this would suit best - maybe a book-learned character, who thinks their entire education system was just really in-character with the whole ‘real magic’ thing. A wizard? Very lawful - so lawful they can’t conceive of a force as irrational and physics-defying as magic. Probably good.

A character who is the butler of another party member - jeeves-style, long-suffering and ever efficient. His most common line is “*sigh* very good, sir/ma’am.” It would be cool if he was a monk class character - maybe coming from a kind of ‘training temple’ for butlers, Artemis Fowl style. Has the patience of a god, the combat skills of a champion street-fighter, and makes excellent tea. Might be a good player character for someone who’s new to dnd and is coming with a friend - or rather, a good character for someone who is experienced and is bringing an inexperienced friend, whose butler they could be. The butler could then advise and cover for their inexperienced ‘master’.

A variation on the above: a character travelling with their fussy, overbearing mother or father, another obviously good one for a friend to teach their inexperienced new friend how to play.

A religious character, probably a cleric or paladin, who has an element of the creationist fangirl-religious Christianity of the midwest to her. Speaks in a texas drawl. She wears a shirt that says ‘what would [insert name of deity here] do?’ and is always singing the praises of their lord/lady and saviour, trying to convert people and reminding everyone of various rules from their holy book. Lawful neutral, because she follows the rules of the faith no matter how immoral they may be. Often burst into hymns. Everything good that happens, it was the lord’s blessing. Everything bad, it was punishment for some obscure sin. Probably had a rough background and found and adhered to this faith later in life, as a kind of religious rebirth - maybe to escape a criminal past…?

A character who is a child but has all the skill in certain areas of an adult. Very creepy, Wednesday Addams vibes. Talks like a grown up. Dark and cynical. Always underestimated. Probably a sorcerer. Neutral or maybe a tad evil. Maybe could be a halfling or something, to implement that small-cute-person stealth bonus. Occasionally takes on the performance of being a normal little girl to manipulate NPCs - fake crying to get to the front of a queue, etc.

Two PCs who are long lost siblings. The DM and the two players know this. No other players and none of the characters know - including the two characters who are related. One or both of them may know they have a lost sibling, but it is only in the course of the game that they find out who they are to each other. I feel like this would be most interesting if they were of a non human species, and of very different backgrounds and classes, and maybe different alignments.

A character who is joining the party as a tourist. He has now retired from adventuring in his homeland and travels around other lands, getting the ‘authentic local experience’ by tagging onto other people’s quests. If you’re in a steampunk-y setting or your DM will let you homebrew it a bit, it would be great if he had some kind of camera and was always snapping pictures at inappropriate times. It would be even better if some of these pictures ending up being vitally useful later in the game. Probably neutral good, probably something pretty low-key class wise. Could be joined by a tour-guide type PC.

A variation on the above: a young character who is trying to break into the adventuring career market and is tagging along on work experience, always taking notes. This might be a good one for a new and inexperienced player to help them learn without compromising their characterisation. Neutral good, any class really.

A member of a certain race who is convinced they are of another race, probably due to adoption, and will attack anyone who tries to correct her, like Ellie in ice age 2. The more physically different her ‘real’ race and her ‘adopted’ race are, the better. A warrior type, hot headed. Chaotic something. Maybe even a barbarian. Someone you would be too scared to contradict.

A case of mistaken identity - the party assume this character is someone, but later it is revealed that they are in fact just a delivery boy or a maidservant. There was a mix up, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and when the party mistook them for a powerful ally they were planning to meet, they were too awkward to correct them so they just went with it. The party shouldn’t know they aren’t who they say they are until the person reveals it, either by making enough mistakes and confessing or by being outed by someone else. An NPC or a player. Probably chaotic good. Definitely a people pleaser. Poor kid.

A ‘male’ character who is actually a woman wearing a fake moustache. She had to fake her gender to get into a prestigious all male institution - maybe a cleric or paladin, or a wizard at wizard school. Definitely a con-woman type background. Intensely good persuasion modifier so that people genuinely believe she is a man as soon as the moustache goes on. Other players may or may not know her real gender from the start. Chaotic good.

An adventuring couple who have decided to spend their honeymoon, or second honeymoon, fighting and killing with the rest of the party. Fighters or another physical-combat-heavy class. Good. Full of romantic stories about people they beheaded together and times they almost died together. Bonus points if they have, are having or have had an adventuring child too - the kind who was already wielding a tiny knife in the cradle. Good for couples who play together, and good if one partner is just teaching the other to play, so they can stick together and help them.

A druid who has spent her last ten years in animal form. She has now almost forgotten how to be a person. Still forgets she isn’t an animal sometimes. Lots of animalistic mannerisms and slip ups - trying to fly, using the wrong body language, etc. She’s just very frazzled by everything right now, so please just go easy on her, okay? She’s trying her best to readjust.

A pirate woman who sailed with an all-female pirate crew on a ship with a massively misandristic name. She’s almost definitely gay and very much a bitch to men. Sailor-pirate background, probably a simple fighter, chaotic neutral af. Bonus points if she was the captain. Double bonus points if she was the captain because she engineered a mutiny and is now constantly afraid of finding her jilted ex captain (and possibly also her ex lover) hot on her heels. More bonus points if she is a very butch, bearded dwarf lady.

Champion athlete who turned their particular sporting prowess to a life of adventure, because of some event that befell them - maybe a medal winning runner’s hometown was sacked, and their swiftness allowed them to save forty children before the fires reached the school. Or maybe a record-breaking swimmer was the sole survivor of a flood that wiped out their people and now they have to get by on nothing but their wits and their abnormally massive deltoids. Obviously good stats relating to their sport. Class will depend on the sport too. You could get really creative with sports lauded amongst different races, eg. a dragonborn who was the world champion at distance fire-breathing.

(Based in a tumblr post) A bard whose main attack is Vicious Mockery. Super chaotic neutral, they focus on almost nothing else, just developing this one skill until they can practically just kill with a single insult. Their main driving motivation or goal is to eventually find a certain person - maybe a powerful and abusive parent figure or a hated tyrant, someone who did evil to them or their people - and just fucking obliterate them with the perfect, all-destroying insult, which they hope to have composed by the time they meet this person.

The youngest son of a king or ruler with like twelve children, so far from inheriting the throne nobody knew what to do with him and he ended up being tossed from institution to institution, being kicked out and kicked out until he joined the current party (or an institution the party are working with if he’s an NPC). He’s pretty dumb, with no education, essentially raised by castle servants and never learning a thing about politics. Probably a fighter. Low intelligence, good alignment. All is well, until, uh oh, all his twelve brothers die at once and he is suddenly expected to be king. What do? Help me, more intelligent party members!

[yourdailykitsch]

A rough translation of the Cinema Teaser article featuring Dylan and Taylor. Some parts are paraphrased, sorry I’m not as up on my French as I should be...

Dylan O’Brien, the rebooted version of Taylor Kitsch? The rich idea comes from American Assassin and it caused Cinema Teaser to germinate the desire for a cross-talk. The two actors have some points in common with ten years between them and we interviewed them face to face.

There are similarities in your two paths: you started on TV (FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS for Taylor and TEEN WOLF for Dylan), then on to big productions in the cinema. Dylan you even made an incursion into Taylor’s field, working with Peter Berg (DEEPWATER). Is there a typical route for young actors to be wary of or to embrace in Hollywood?

Taylor: I think the most important thing is to never do what you don’t want to do. You can’t always fight the way people see you in Hollywood, but you can get closer to projects that attract you and you can fight for what you believe. In the end, I refuse any project that I don’t want to devote weeks of time to, that’s all. 

Dylan: I do not have a very definite plan in my mind...It’s a little weird. I did not grow up wanting to become an actor or anything like that. I grew up worshiping movies and I have parents who worked and still work in the industry and I imagine that in a sense they have conveyed to me the love they have for cinema. When I was little, it was what I preferred: watching movies, watching actors, and adoring all kinds of artistic talents too - performers, singers, dancers. And that’s how my interest is. Growing up, I always performed. I always made small films, short films with my friends and my sister and everything started like that. Hollywood is the drive force of cinema today, the experience now has another scale and it is different. When you come into that environment you must master a part of the trade that is not exactly your profession.

Ten years separate you. If you Taylor, you observe the beginnings of Dylan and if you Dylan, watched how Taylor started, do you have the impression that the industry or the way it deals with young actors has changed?

Taylor: It should be kept in mind that when I start on television with FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, the series was not a phenomenon. We never had the following that TEEN WOLF had. My popularity was limited to a fervent public that has a background in American football or that kind of sports fiction. I don’t know if the industry has changed for young actors. When I see Dylan, I have the impression that the younger generation is attacking the business with plenty of intelligence, it’s on! They know what they want and they know how to use the system to their advantage. 

In your opinion, what is your biggest commonality - professionally and personally? 

Taylor: I would say that Dylan and I are always ready to take on a challenge. We are not afraid to look far into ourselves for a character. For example, it was always a wish to play a bad guy, and I very much like the fact that we both went a little against the usual, in the sense that we show that there is a torment, or even an inner hell. We show that there are repercussions for our actions, especially mental ones. And that’s why American Assassin is a bit different in the genre. 

Dylan: I agree with everything Taylor says! (Laughs) The reality is that on the set we did not have too much time to chat or compare our careers because the time we shared is as short as the time we share on screen. But I am sure that now that we are promoting the film we will have more time to discuss.

Taylor, you are Canadian and you don’t stop playing the American Heroes. In Lone Survivor or in American Assassin, there is a rather harsh picture of the American culture of violence. Do you feel like an enlightened observer?

It depends on the script I get. Also, I think more of the character’s hope than his nationality. Whether it as a (Mike) Murphy in LONE SURVIVOR or Ghost in AMERICAN ASSASSIN, what is important is what he has in his head, more than his flag. The thing is, with Murphy, who is a heroic figure and quite iconic - and it’s legitimate - you play someone who represents something strong and you have to be faithful to him. I live in Texas and I have a buddy who has a ranch. For AMERICAN ASSASSIN, I lived there alone for ten days with the script and some weapons and that’s how I put myself in the head scape of Ghost and created him.

That you have both worked with Peter Berg is not insignificant. Peter casts actors who crystallize something from American. Dylan, what relationship do you have with the image of the American hero?

Taylor: Peter was a TV star (between 1995 and 1999, in CHICAGO HOPE, he played Dr. Billy Kronk) before becoming the great director he became. He is a dream director for an actor, especially the young actors, because he knew better than anyone what it takes.

Dylan: Peter, I learned so much by speaking with him, working with him, watching him. The idea of not being the typical action hero in American Assassin is what attracted me first to the film. If you watch movies about assassins or secret agents, you rarely see how they got there, what events or accidents they went through. A year and a half ago I went through something quite traumatizing in my life (Dylan was injured on the set of THE DEATH CURE). Rebounding after that was very difficult, to be honest. So I can easily connect with that part of my character.

Dylan, TEEN WOLF will stop soon. Is there any particular anxiety? Taylor you remember what you felt when FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS stopped? Do the films made while you’re engaged on a series set the tone of the films that you want to do next?

Dylan: I have no problem with leaving TEEN WOLF behind me because I never wanted to stay ‘cornered’ with the same character for too long. I never looked for stability with a job on TV over seven years or more.

Taylor: The end of FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS was bitter sweet. On one side, it was time that it stopped and we all wanted to try other things. But at the same time, we were an extremely close team. We never had big audiences, contrary to what everyone seems to think today. With the rebroadcasts, Netflix and all that, FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS is still very much alive and surely has a wider audience today than at the time it aired. But I do not take it badly, a series does not set the tone of your career. The producers will always try to hire you for roles that you have already played if you succeeded at a the box office... And in my case, we know that it never happened like that! (Laughs)

Through your respective series, you have (or have had) a teen fanbase. Does cinema help you get another audience? Is this one of the criteria for choosing a project?

Dylan: I have never reflected in these terms. For me, AMERICAN ASSASSIN was interesting because it was different from what I was known for, okay. But as a comedian, you always want to do new things, to meet different challenges. You do not want to always play the same character. As for my fans or the people who follow my career closely, I respect them enormously but, sorry, I will never let anyone lock me in a box.

Taylor: My teenage fanbase is far behind me. I want to go back in time! (Laughs) No, I’m joking, everything’s fine.

Taylor, after shooting supermovies (WOLVERINE, BATTLESHIP, JOHN CARTER), you finally turned to movies that, even if they have a certain pre-awareness, remained original movies. Is it difficult to find original material while evolving in cinema?

Taylor: I think in terms of character. I do not know if I necessarily like the guy I play in AMERICAN ASSASSIN, but I like the fact that he is anchored in some reality. There is a lot of pyrotechnics but I like that there is no green screen, if one has to compare with WOLVERINE, BATTLESHIP or JOHN CARTER. Green screens are always difficult because you have to use all your imagination to try to fill the void around you. AMERICAN ASSASSIN evolves into a reality, a realism, a viscerality, the rhythm is incredible. I think it is the kind of cinema I prefer.

Taylor, after FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, you took time to re-engage in a TV series. Dylan, would you like to devote yourself to the cinema before eventually returning to a series or mini-series?

Taylor: I did not plan to return TV until I had an interesting and limited proposal for the small screen. I did TRUE DETECTIVE and then I just finished a six-hour mini-series which is called WACO, with Michael Shannon, Paul Sparks and Shea Whigham. In this case, returning to television is not an insignificant option, of course.

Dylan: It may have been different ten years ago when Taylor was on TV, but today, there is no longer a real difference between TV and cinema. You find excellent scenarios everywhere as long as you give yourself the means to look for them and show a little patience. 

Taylor: I will not sign a lengthy contract of something like seven years. On the other hand, I could sign for a mini-series of six or ten episodes, if the character interests me. There is something beautiful to serve and dig into a character over six hours, rather than over 30 minutes.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #177 - The Emperor’s New Groove

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: No.

Format: DVD

1) With the benefit of hindsight, The Emperor’s New Groove is seen as the first film to be released post Disney Renaissance. Financially speaking it performed weaker than most Disney animation films of the Renaissance period (The Little Mermaid to Tarzan), a trend which would continue for a large junk of the 2000s. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THE FILM WAS POORLY RECEIVED BY CRITICS; currently on Rotten Tomatoes the film has an 85% fresh rating, and I personally love it (which will be reflected in this recap).

2) Opening on Llama Kuzco is actually a unique opening.

It is a markedly different opening from most Renaissance films which would have a big grand opening number of sorts and surprisingly somber in imagery considering the film which is about to follow. That doesn’t mean it isn’t filled with wild amounts of humor though, something else the film will show off.

3) “Perfect World” - as an opening number/scene to Kuzco and his life - works for a number of reasons.

(GIF originally posted by @lovethaws)

For one thing, it shows off what is without a doubt this film’s strongest quality and that it is INCREDIBLE energy which seeps through the entire thing. Everything is kinetic, lively and fun. It is almost impossible not to enjoy what you’re watching because of this energy which breathes off of EVERY moment of this film (a testament to the entire filmmaking team). But even beyond that it introduces us to Kuzco’s egotism (“This perfect world begins and ends with ME!”) and the world built around it, things which will be very important moving forward.

4) This film is so freaking funny.

5) Okay, whenever I see the scene with Kuzco’s brides this is all I can think of:

Thanks Tumblr.

6) David Spade as Kuzco.

Spade is able to bring everything that Kuzco needs to life. His ego, his humor, and - when needed - his heart/warmth. Spade is able to make Kuzco’s lines jump off the page, with each one funnier than the next. The energy which the animators bring to the character Spade matches with his voice, making for a perfect union of actor, script, and animation team. All in all, it makes Kuzco a wildly fun protagonist to follow.

7) So many of these notes are just gonna be amazing lines from this film.

8) Eartha Kitt as Yzma.

Honestly, while David Spade is great as Kuzco, it is the villains who steal the show in this film. Namely: Eartha Kitt as Yzma. A wildly stellar villain, the energy from Kitt’s voice tops even Spade’s (and THAT is saying something). She embraces the cartoonish villainy and the funny wholeheartedly, making Yzma a wildly enjoyable and fun villain. In tandem with the filmmaking team, Kitt helps give Yzma a wildly strong personality and character. Everything about her is unique and fun, increasing the enjoyability of the film tenfold. Yzma is a freaking star!

9) Part of the fun of Yzma though is that she brings along her second hand man Kronk into the picture.

Played by Patrick Warburton, I honestly have no idea who the bigger scene stealer is: Yzma or Kronk. I’m inclined to say Kronk though, because holy cow Kronk is awesome. For me (and I think many others who grew up on this film), Patrick Warburton’s most iconic role will always be Kronk. It’s the first time I heard the actor’s tailor-made-for-animation voice and it fits just so perfectly with the character. It’s his magnum opus, I think. Kronk is a lovable dimwit at the trope’s finest, with pretty much every moment of screen time amounting to pure gold. He’s technically a villain, but we as the audience are never particularly rooting against him. Totally lovable and just a laugh riot, I do think Kronk helps make this film as freaking fun as it is.

10) John Goodman as Pacha.

In a lot of ways, Pacha is the beating heart of this film. The warmest character, the kindest character, and the moral compass for Kuzco, Goodman is able to bring all these qualities to the character and the animation also reflects this. The pair of Pacha and Kuzco have a fun chemistry, because even when they’re at odds we’re invested in that relationship. All in all (and I’ve said this a few times about a few characters), The Emperor’s New Groove wouldn’t be the same without Pacha.

11) I never caught Yzma’s last line in this exchange before.

Yzma [after Kuzco fires her]: “How could he do this to me? Why, I practically raised him!”

[She smashes a bust of Kuzco.]

Kronk: “Yeah, you would’ve thought he’d turn out better.”

Yzma: “Yeah, go figure.”

12) Am I wrong in thinking some jokes from this film are just totally iconic now?

(GIF originally posted by @fly-away-when-things-get-crazy)

13) I love how Yzma’s first plan is all crazy complicated - like that of a Bond villain’s - before she just goes, “eh, let’s poison him.”

14) The dinner scene.

Comparatively speaking, the dinner scene is probably the slowest of the film. But it works because of that reason. The more paced humor and occasional awkwardness (like when Yzma and Kuzco are waiting for Kronk to bring back his spinach puffs) is right up there with the film’s wilder scenes. It also helps flesh out Kronk by showing off his abilities as a cook.

14.1) At one point in the dinner, Kronk - forgetting which drink is poisoned - poisons all the drinks and tells Yzma so she doesn’t drink. Yzma then throws the poisoned drink into a nearby cactus. But when after Kuzco starts turning into a llama, we get a look at the cactus again by Yzma’s side. Did you ever notice what happened to the cactus?

15) Not only is Kronk singing his own theme music hilarious, but at least partially improvised. According to IMDb:

Patrick Warburton improvised when Kronk hummed his own theme song when he was carrying Kuzco in the bag to the waterfall. Disney legal department had Warburton to sign all rights to the humming composition over to them.

16) One of the cleverest jokes in the film (and that is saying something) are Kronk’s shoulder angel and devil.

While surprisingly brief, like the rest of the film it carries with it an incredible energy. The back and forth between the shoulder angel and shoulder devil is wildly clever, making the whole moment just fun.

17) The whole film is pretty much a madcap comedy for the first twenty minutes, but it slows down when it matters. Specifically, with Pacha and his family. As mentioned above, Pacha is the beating heart of this film and giving the audience the time to get invested in him and his life helps not only to raise his stakes but also give the heart a little more of a pulse.

18) I just need to take a moment to appreciate that KUZCO STOPS THE FREAKING MOVIE to remind us its about him!

19) This is when the chemistry between Kuzco and Pacha really starts to shine, when they’re able to bicker with each other.

Pacha [after he’s accused of turning Kuzco into a llama then kidnapping him]: “Why would I kidnap a llama!?”

Kuzco: “I have no idea! You’re the criminal mastermind, not me!”

Pacha: “WHAT!?”

Kuzco: “Hmmm, you’re right. That’s giving you WAY too much credit.

They’re not holding back anymore. There’s no more forced respectfulness from Pacha since Kuzco is the emperor, their conflict is able to shine through and that’s what makes it fun to watch.

20) The jungle scene is a continuation of the film’s fun. It’s born from Kuzco’s fear and a darker tone than say the palace, while still being mixed with that wild mayhem we’ve come to expect from this film.

21) This. Freaking. Moment.

22) I’m actually surprised by the subtlety of this foreshadowing Maybe I only think it’s subtle because I didn’t see it as a kid though.

Pacha: “You know what: someday you’re going to end up all alone and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”

23) This is very telling of Pacha.

(GIF originally posted by @animated-disney-gifs)

Pacha [holding his hand out to Kuzco after making a deal]: “Don’t shake unless you mean it.”

He’s a trustworthy guy. He sees the best in people and to him a handshake is the ultimate agreement. To go back on a handshake would be below awful. It is this kindness that allows Kuzco - at times - to manipulate Pacha but also lets the audience care for him.

24) The bridge scene.

(GIF originally posted by @aboutaseven)

First of all, I think the way the characters hang from the ropes for their brief fight scene is pretty creative. Their suspension from this ties leads to some unique visuals as opposed to them just having it out on the bridge. But more than that, after the ropes break we see them working together to save themselves. This is both fun and helps form the basis of the friendship to come. Not to mention Kuzco saves Pacha from a crumbling bridge.

(GIF originally posted by @2000ish)

25) I love this film, but I can’t help but wondering if there’s a deeper reason for Kuzco’s selfishness and apathy we never get a look at. Is it just because he was raised being told he was the beginning and end of a perfect world, or is it more than that? Kuzco’s parents ARE gone and he’s only 17/18 in the film. Could that have something to do with it?

26) Okay, let’s recap: Kronk is an evil henchman who cooks, has his own theme music, a pair of shoulder figures, is a bird watcher, and talks to squirrels.

(GIF originally posted by @animated-disney-gifs)

Kronk is amazing.

27) Mudka’s Meat Hut.

The extended sequence in the restaurant works for a number of reasons. For one thing it’s a nice bonding moment between Kuzco and Pacha, while the fact that Yzma and Kronk show up at the same place at the same time leads to some great comedy (particularly when Kuzco and Yzma are trying to both take orders from Kronk, which feels very “Abbott & Costello” to me in the best way possible).

All in all, it’s wildly funny. And ends in a glorious fashion.

28) And THIS is what sends Kuzco back to the start.

Kuzco [overhearing Kronk, after ditching Pacha]: “No one really seems to care that he’s gone, do they.”

Except narrator Kuzco is now different from the actual Kuzco. Our Kuzco - at this point in the film - finally sees how awfully he messed up. How much of a total egotistical jerk he was. So much so he tries to live as a llama. That alone shows that he’s resigned to his fate. He was a crummy person, so he thinks he deserves to be a llama.

29) This freaking movie...

Yzma [after being locked in a closet]: “Tell us where the talking llama is and we’l burn your house to the ground.”

Kronk: “Don’t you mean or?”

Yzma: “UGH! Tell us where the talking llama is OR we’ll burn your house to the ground.”

30) And then what is definitely a contender for funniest scene in the film.

31) I keep laughing as I’m typing up this recap!

(GIFs originally posted by @kpfun)

32) Did I mention this film is hysterical?

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

33) The ensuing chase through Kuzco’s palace is very fun. It continues the madcap energy the film has been showing off well, with the added device of Kuzco’s ever changing animal form adding a nice dose of humor and creative conflict.

(GIF originally posted by @animated-disney-gifs)

34) Hmmm, how could this film get any crazier? I know...

(GIFs originally posted by @animation-edits)

I know. How about we have the main villain turn into a cat at the end! I love it.

35) I mean, it’s a Disney movie so it’s not totally surprising that this happened, but I still smile every time Kuzco decides to save Pacha over the potion.

36) Sometimes I’m just baffled by the fact that this movie exists. In a good way.

37) I’m a sucker for a good bromance.

Pacha [after Kuzco says he’s not building his summer home on their hilltop]: “You know, I’m pretty sure I heard some singing on the hill next to use. In case you’re interested.”

The fact that the film ends with Kuzco appreciating smaller things and becoming a member of Pacha’s family in a lot of ways makes me smile.

The Emperor’s New Groove is amazing. It is just a wild ride of comedic brilliance and sheer joy/fun. You have to grab on by both hands and prepare for the craziest things to happen, which is where the fun comes from. With a talented voice cast (such as David Spade, John Goodman, and ESPECIALLY the pair of Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton) and animation which reflects the energy/heart of the film, The Emperor’s New Groove is just a greatly enjoyable film from beginning to end.

[littlebookmermaid]

Here’s my (really, really, really) long and totally unnecessary review of the Percy Jackson cast album. I’ve gotten so many visions by listening to this. I’ve even gotten a better understanding of some of the characters. 

The Day I Got Expelled “The gods are real and they have kids and all those kids have issues.”

“Look, I didn’t wanna be a halfblood.” Bless this crew for actually reading the books; we begin the musical like we begin the book.  I like this song because it’s a very successful musical number, since it tells the first chapters with only one song. 

Notable lyrics/melody: “...that's when this story should probably start. We were geeking out on ancient Greek at the New York Metropolitan Museum Of Art” I love this part. 

Strong Bless Sally Jackson.  “Normal is a myth. Everyone has issues they're dealing with. [...] The things that make you different are the very things that make you; strong.”  What I love about this are those lines. Sally knows that this might not mean much to Percy now but soon enough it will. When all the halfblood things are getting too much for him, he’ll probably remember: “Normal is a myth. Everyone has issues they’re dealing with.” She also sings about blue food and how that’s not every normal either.  Notable lyrics/melody: (sings about blue food) “To make it boring orange or green, why be blah, when there's aquamarine?” 

The Minotaur / The Weirdest Dream “You drool when you sleep.”

Sally Jackson sacrifices herself and Percy wakes up at camp. Also; Percy calls Annabeth “angel.”  Notable voice acting: “If Mrs. Dodds was really a monster, I hope you're really a sword... Awesome!"  Not sure why but I love how he sounds when he says this.

Another Terrible Day “'Course, who am I to give relationship advice, I'm literally the god of alcohol” Mr. D got his own song! This song is so much fun. What is great about this is that normally someone would sing a song about how great the camp is. You know, to introduce camp to the audience. But instead; this musical let Mr. D sing about how godsawful the camp is and what a terrible day he’s having. 

“I'm the god of wine and I'm dying of thirst” I also love how freaked out Percy is during this song. It feels more natural than being totally cool with it. “Mr. Brunner!? You’re a horse!? What is happening???”  Notable voice acting: I never would have guessed that the same guy who is Grover is also Mr. D. He does a great job!  Their Sign This is a sweet song. Percy’s feelings are really coming through here. He’s mad, he’s upset and he doesn’t understand what’s going on. But then Luke enters and helps him cope a little. (It’s just so sad how good he is at doing that because of how things turns out later.)  Notable lyrics/music: ”He showed no sign that he ever existed. No sign he might actually care. My mom raised me all on her lonesome when I would reach out, no one else would be there. Well I want my birthday cards and fishing trips, child support and homework tips. Don't mean to whimper or whine. The guy didn't need to be "Dad of the Year" But it's clear he could've shown us a sign” Long, I know. But it’s so good. So much emotion.

Put You In Your Place This girl got some pipes! Geesh, she’s amazing!  This song doesn’t bring out that many emotions in me but it’s still brilliant. The music is awesome and those guitars!! 

The best part is when they fight in the bathroom.  “Heard you were tough, But you don't look it, Your goose is cooked. I'm here to cook it” This line is so strange but Clarisse sings it with such dedication and power that it makes total sense anyway. 

The Campfire Song

“My father is Kronos (silence) Remember my lecture He ate his children.” “Chiron wins.” 

What a brilliant way to introduce all the characters. Make them sing a camp song about their godly parents! But then it’s Percy’s turn and that little cinnamon bun sings about Sally! (Cue heartbreak.) This is also a very sweet way for them to introduce the concept that even if their families suck; they’ll always have a family at camp.  Notable lyric: ”If I tried to sing, it'll probably cause an avalanche” Yay for book quotes!

Good kid  All right this is one of those songs that made me understand Percy as a character a little bit more. So we have this kid who causes trouble wherever he goes. None of it is really his fault. He’s set up because of the whole half blood thing. He really is a good kid and he tries really hard to stay out of trouble. But it doesn’t work and everyone always think it’s his fault and then; he learns that he’s a demigod. Things might look up but then Zeus, the most powerful greek god, accuses him of stealing his most powerful lighting bolt.  Imagine that; having people telling you how things are always your fault and then you’re literally accused by the Gods of stealing something. This poor kid is just trying to be good! Let the poor boy be. 

I swear I never stole anything I never meant to hurt anyone I swear, I swear that I'm a good kid Killer Quest “We're gonna march straight down to the gates of hell.” “Underworld.” “Close enough.”  Aa, Percy. 

I adore the music in this song. I also love how many times they manage to find so many (good) words that rhymes with “quest.” Favourite part of this song is at the very end when they start to sing.”We’re going on an awesome, dangerous and scary....” Also “Killer heroes quest!”  Lost I wrote a post about this the other day. But this song is the catchiest song on this album. “We’re lost in the woods, somewhere in New Jersey and we’re never gonna make to LA.” I love the dialogue in this and also Grover’s Kronk moment. “Dude, are talking to a squirrel.” Also Percy’s pun, especially how he drags the “S.”  

Is anyone still reading this? it’s super long. Well only a little left.  My grand plan Oh, Annabeth my previous deadly cupcake.  This is also one of those songs that made me understand Annabeth better. I love how the incorporated her hat in this. How unfitting that Annabeth, who’s been working her whole life to be taken seriously and noticed, gets a hat to make herself invisible? Annabeth wants to be remembered and my previous deadly cupcake you’re so will. You’re gonna be the architect of Olympus one day. You’ll be remembered forever. 

Drive Two things about this song; The Hover dam reference (dam snacks) and the fact that Ares mentioned Clarisse so he could rhyme it with “peace.” 

Tree on the hill

Emotions. Emotions all over the place. Grover is making me cry. This is a wonderful way to introduce Thalia and talk about Grover’s guilt. 

And there on the Hill Up on Half-Blood Hill A cold wind blew Dark and chill For nothing would slake it's wrathful will We had to make a stand-

This part is so good. The melody, the emotion and just everything. Right when he sings “chill” it literally gives me chills. How fitting. 

I won’t go deeper into the songs anymore but overall this musical is just really well done. It respects the books and the songs are really catchy. 

[dm-it-janet]

Lot

A friend on facebook posted a stupid little thingy that was obviously a wizard about to start shit because it’s fun. I asked him if I had ever told him about my character, Lot, and if he wanted to know things. He said yes. So I sent this:

Lot is currently a 30ish year old (I think? There was a weird age thing in there) landbound pirate wizlock who runs the kingdom’s school of magic, because that was just the most wise decision ever.

She’s my character in our Kingmaker-made-5e campaign. She was introduced into the established group when they found her bound, naked, in a hollowed out wall, being guarded by what was essentially Audrey II. NO idea how she got there, or why, or who the other naked weirdo tied up with her was (Joe’s character). She was 17 at the time (yay for random age rolls!). She had also been under the protection of a pretty well known pirate, who she called Uncle Captain, because he was her uncle and she had been sailing with him since she was single digits. But she still ended up literally halfway around the world, unconscious, naked, in a wall. Which should establish a few things, right there.

The group decides to take the new characters with them, so they’re going along, and end up locked in a room with a covered grate and a cabinet with levers. Which everybody is afraid to touch, because OF COURSE it’s a trap. (Spoiler: it was.) Everybody else is losing their damned minds trying to figure out a clever way to get out of there, and after about 20 minutes, Lot got bored. She pulled the lever, Kronk. Then the other lever. Then the other other lever. And made the DM cuss during the first session playing because out of sheer dumb luck she pulled them in the right order, nothing terrible happened, and the group moved on.

By the time the group gets back to the capital city of the kingdom they’re establishing, they all pretty much decided that despite the fact that she’s a prickly bitch, Lot should totally stay. And Jonan (Joe’s character) was questionable at best. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT GOOD AT READING CHARACTERS. Which is part of why I love them, btw. Oh, and also, it was immediately established that Lot knew what she was doing with spell slinging, so she should TOTALLY be in charge of the magic school. And it was 100% completely and totally ok to put it on an island. In the middle of the lake. Where there is little oversight from the city. And she can establish her own controls. WITH A PIRATE BACKGROUND. You see where this is going? Keep following that track. You’re not wrong. The island also ends up being where the hub of the black market and the training center for the spy network ends up. For some odd reason. Whoda thunk.

ANYway… So we keep playing, and I keep doing that leveling thing, and take a few feats that are nice and useful. Like being able to shape spells around friendlies. Doubling range of spells. Ignoring cover. As you do. And for some odd reason, Lot got a nasty reputation for blowing shit up. And general chaos. It could have been her penchant for trying to throw her octopus familiar at people as a distraction tactic. It could have been the time that they were trying to infiltrate a castle being guarded by a couple dozen people and 4 trolls and a single fireball damned near took all of them out. The fact that somebody else had granted her invisibility helped. It could have been the fact that her range is literally off the (battle) map. We actually measured out the equivalent of the squares once, and the distance of her longest ranged spell was something like 3 feet past the end of the gaming table. And she was not afraid to use it. Or maybe it’s the fact that very few things have been able to seriously hurt her, because they end up in a world of hurt before they get into range on her.

So this was all going on, and there’s back stories, and plane jumping, and all sorts of good stuff because our DM is pretty awesome and likes to toss in a lot of extras based on character back stories. One day he BAMFs the whole party to what was essentially the living room of the god of death. And he offers, as Yanno, to allow one character to become the champion of the god of death. EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SHIT…. Except Lot, who, as a pirate, kinda grew up around all of that. And views death as a lifetime companion. And was more shocked at how Yanno presented himself than anything else. Anyway. Everybody is freaking out, just trying to figure out a way to get out of this whole thing without dedicating anybody to anything, and they’re all kind of ignoring the fact that Lot wants to actually have a conversation with this dude and find out what exactly the deal will entail. Because she’s like 19 at the time, and who wants to listen to that dumb kid? It’s better to just talk over her, shut her down, etc. No big deal. Only been happening for years (which was actually NOT that bad of a call, since her charisma is absolute shit.)

Anyway, they get returned without anybody promising anything, which was great and fine and dandy. Except that the DM was at that time my supervisor at work, so the next time we were at work I go up to him and go “so, hey, Lot wants to do that thing because it’s absolutely in keeping with her character, and also chaos. Because chaos. But we’re going to have to work around some of the spells and shit because it doesn’t make sense that she would lose all her cantrips and stuff, just that the power would come from Yanno instead” and he was like “well shit, you’re one of the last people I ever thought would have been interested, let’s figure this shit out” and so we worked on it off and on until the next session. And in the middle of the next session, the group is camping out while traveling, Lot is on watch, and everybody else wakes up and she’s just GONE. So they start tracking her and they follow her footprints until they just disappear. And everybody (except one person) was like “eh… It’s Lot. She’ll find her way home. Out of all of us, she’s the most likely to be able to pull off some shit and make it back alive.” So they kept going.

This is where the weird time-plane-shift thing comes in. Because the group goes to town, spends the night, and the next night (same night? Morning? I don’t remember) Yassa – the princess – gets a knock on her door. And there’s Lot! But five years older. And with black streaks in her hair. And one completely black eyeball. (With her own eye in a jar in her pouch, because why wouldn’t I keep it? It’s mine.) And wearing armor. And there was a mad scramble of HOLY FUCKBALLS GET EVERYBODY IN HERE WHAT HAPPENED OMG and Lot told them that she contacted Yanno and took the deal. That since not a damned one of them had let her get a word in edgewise, she had to do it on her own. And they could all suck it, because she’s an adult, and smart, and capable of making her own decisions. (Which totally screwed with a few people because evidently they hadn’t even been aware that they were treating her like a 5 year old.) Chaos ensued, which is kind of typical when Lot is around. Because Lot.

Anyway, more time passes, and there’s war, and there’s shifting to yet another plane, and Lot’s reputation continues to grow, but even MORE so because she refuses to get romantically involved with anybody (even NPCs) since she’s ace, and they figure out that she’s learned she doesn’t have to sleep. Or eat. Or drink. Or breathe. And her heart has essentially stopped. And she more or less stopped aging.  And has learned how to read literally anything, and learn from it. And is generally kind of terrifying, but just really too fucking lazy to make much trouble. To the point that when she called forth a Balor in the middle of battle, nobody even batted an eyelash after she told them that it was hers. Because why wouldn’t she have a pet Balor just hanging out in another dimension?

….. and that’s Lot. In a nutshell.