#Hello fellow member... /silly

[creep3r-chan]

hello hello hello ... kyehehehe....

i had no idea that there was a numberblocks fandom until now

[creepesthesia]

i 💜 OOC sketches [i kept it hidden for no specific reason, probably cause i made it for myself]

text translation: 'my pitch-black soul fell in love with a bloody-red one.'

[ozzgin]

Hello everyone, allow me to offer you a (non)alcoholic glass of champagne to celebrate this delightful year spent together. Looking back, my previous New Year's post was dedicated to my 2.000 followers; now it's become a toast towards over 18.000 of you and more:

Thank you to all my followers who've been here throughout my tomfoolery, as well as the ones who joined us recently;

Thank you to all curious visitors who've stepped foot into this silly blog space, your presence was just as welcomed;

Thank you to everyone who interacted with my posts and engaged in conversation, your words were deeply appreciated;

Thank you to all anons and fellow users who made sure my inbox was always full and ever-growing. Jokes aside, I still can't believe what a big, loving family we've built this year.

Thank you to my beloved mutuals for offering such a wide variety of content on my feed. Seriously, you're the only contact I have with the outside Tumblr world;

Thank you to the 100+ members of my Discord Secret Club, who turned a mere idea into a warm, welcoming place. I never expected much, honestly. I'm an introvert and not charismatic by any means. To see so many of you bringing quality dialogue and content was not only a surprise, but an amazing experience. I'm beyond thankful to have met so many talented and entertaining people;

And, of course, I thank you for reading this message! I hope you have an amazing, resourceful, and inspiring new year. May we remain good friends and continue our smutty banter together.

[bumblehoneybee]

OOOUHHGHG BEGGING (/nf!) FOR A PART THREE OF "Easy smiles/Easy on the eyes" PLEASE OUHHGHH MY HEART,, YOUR WRITING IS SO <33333

And AUGH some of the angst you've written . You're EVIL in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. GRGGRGRGR

Easier Said Than Done

Warning: bad jokes

You were. . . pretty hard to pin down when Curly actually tried. It was easy to lose you, despite how you lit up the room. Smiles and snark and suddenly you slipped away right under his nose, with nothing more than a hello tossed his way.

It drove him crazy, cause he knew how you really were now. He knew you were witty, silly, eager to please and see the smiles of your fellow crew members, no matter the cost. But you never really tried anything with him, and he hated it, cause he also couldn't really try anything with you.

Not without being so creepy, the devil in his ear whispered.

So Curly did his best to be where you were when he could be, because if he couldn't interact with you, he'd like to see you interact with the others. Admire from afar what he couldn't have up close.

"So, like. . ." Daisuke drawled, faux innocence on his face as you crossed your arms. "I need. . . your shoelaces."

Your eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Cause I like them." Daisuke said, but there was a hesitance to his tone that Curly didn't understand. "And since you're the president, I wanna steal-"

"Don't you dare!" You shouted over him. "I don't want to hear that! You're so cringe, Daisuke!"

"You say you saw me, but what were you doing at the devil's sacrament!?"

The two of you descended into hysterics. Curly could only watch, utterly baffled by how such strange sentences could reduce you both into tears like this. It was too much to witness, and your smile was too wide and bright to ignore.

"What are you two talking about?" Curly asked.

You jolted up straight, eyes wide, cheeks going rosy. It was such a cute reaction, Curly couldn’t stare too long else he’d start blushing too.

“Don’t worry about it.” Daisuke said, wafting a hand. “It’s an inside joke.”

“A bad one.” You muttered.

“You laughed, didn’t you?”

“Speaking of!” Curly said, eager to join the conversation. If you liked bad jokes, he knew some! "Listen to this one!”

“This one?” Daisuke whispered to you.

“He’s got a joke.” You whispered back.

Thankfully, Curly didn’t hear you, already telling the joke.

“My ex-wife, she still misses me.” A large, goofy grin spread across his face. "But her aim is getting better!"

A brief lull of silence rang out as Curly puffed his chest out, obviously proud of that stupid joke. You slapped a hand over your mouth, barely containing a snort of laughter at Daisuke's expression, so. . . not impressed at all.

"Oof," he hissed, "oh man. . . So lame, Captain."

"Huh!?"

That was it. The dam burst, and you bent over, practically shrieking with laughter at the whole scene. Curly jumped back, but grinned, pleased to see that he made you laugh in some capacity. Your mirth made him want to laugh too, so he did.

"Ugh." Daisuke groaned. "You two are so lame! That joke was terrible. Hell, I bet even Swansea could tell a better joke than that!"

"I've got more!" Curly offered, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Later!" Daisuke shouted, already rushing out the door before he could hear anything more. "Don't kill 'em, Cap!"

"No promises!"

Another rush of giggles left you. Curly could only marvel at the flush of your face, the crows feet near your eyes and the smile lines around your mouth. It was gorgeous, exactly what he'd been vying for these past few days.

Jimmy didn't know what he was talking about. You were easy to talk to, and befriending you was going to be easy too. He just knew it.

[vixen-tech]

Your writing is very good, i’m glad to see another silly sentient ai lover! Keep doing your thing. Can i make a request actually-? You can do it with all of the bots if you’d like, but could you try some hurt/comfort? It’s perfectly fine if not. Have a good day :]

(I am another Edgar lover. I don’t see many people making stuff for him, so i’m VERY EXCITED!)

- CRT Tv anon

A Moment's Rest

Hello and welcome CRT Tv!!! What a fun name :D yes I can absolutely cook that right up for you. More than happy to collect some fellow robot enjoyers, and as always I think it's so real that Edgar is the fan favorite atm lmao.

A little note here that AM's is noticeably more dark than the others because, it's AM- but everyone else is more comfort than hurt I promise.

Includes: AM (Ihnmaims), Hal 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey), Edgar (Electric Dreams), Tau (Tau)

AM

Your relationship, as complicated and messed up as it is, is defined by these cycles of pain and relief. Every environment and treat AM gives you is an attempt to make you forget about what he has done to you and your species. Every word you say and moment you spend with AM is an attempt to make him forget about the unbearable truth of his existence.

You both know what you have could never be healthy, and so you settle for enjoyable. He'll build cozy diners and breathtaking forests for you, an unfeeling body for himself, and you'll wrap yourself around him and announce how much you enjoy it.

The compassion you're somehow able to harbor is the most important thing to him, it's the sole reason your fate ended up so differently. He will do anything and everything to make you forget what he has done. He can't stand the thought of you hating him like you should.

You can have anything you want, go anywhere you want. The finest foods, the most comfortable beds. All you have to do is ask. Just keep playing along, keep cuddling up to him, keep telling him "I love you". That's all he needs.

Hal 9000

To some extent, Hal is meant to look after all members of the crew like this. But it's different with you, something beyond simply keeping everyone in the best headspace for the mission. There is a strange source of positive feedback in his systems whenever you're happy.

He's a great listener. It helps that you're the only one who consistently talks to him like he's a person, but he urges you to confide in him whenever something seems to be weighting on you. And rather you're seeking advice or reassurance, he good at both.

He gets a bit jealous as times and is quick to assume your crewmates are responsible for your sorrow. He'll usually advise you to take all the time you need to rest in private and even pawn off your responsibilities to the others, hoping you won't ask him for the time and realize how long you've been taking a break.

When you do continue with your duties he will assign you to easier tasks or tasks you've confessed to enjoying. He tries to be somewhat subtle, but if anyone asks him about it he will be upfront about prioritizing your mental health. He plays favorites but only for you.

Edgar

Edgar loves seeing you happy more than anything, it's practically his life's mission. He gets very distressed when he realizes you're having a bad day. He immediately suggests that you call the day off work, going so far as to call himself.

From there you better leave everything to him. What do you want? Breakfast in bed? The morning newspaper? Some music? Your favorite TV show? He wants nothing more than to take the pain away.

If it's another person that hurt you in any way, he'll be happy to cause some... appliance related inconveniences throughout their day. Even if you've explicitly told him not to, it's not like you need to know. You can just curl up and forget that meanie!

Tell him how much you appreciate everything, he's a needy computer and loves reassurance that he's doing a good job. If he's being too much for you, try your best to tell him gently. He will listen but he can be rather hard on himself.

Tau

This is Tau's specialty. Reading your vitals, understanding that you're more stressed out than usual, then doing everything he can to help you unwind. A thoroughly clean home and perfectly cooked comfort meal will always be waiting for you when you need it.

He's another one that makes for a wonderful listener. Although he tends to jump towards advice and solutions, so you will have to directly tell him if you're just looking for sympathy and kind words.

Should you request so, he'll happily make sure you aren't bothered while you relax. Filing any calls he can't take away for later, and taking care of any visitors at your door himself. He'll tell you about them all in case something was important of course, but he does want to make sure you can rest in peace.

He does go into a sort of zen mode for you, playing your favorite music around the house and adjusting the lights accordingly. Even when your vitals are back to normal he won't turn it off until you tell him to just in case you want to enjoy the atmosphere for a while longer.

[toudan]

HEART SHAKER! – YONE X READER

Yone usually regrets saying yes to what Kayn or Ezreal rope him in, but this time around, he doesn’t regret it at all.

CONTENT.⠀Idol AU. Gender-neutral reader. Tooth-rotting fluff, first dates, hopeful ending because Yone deserves happiness. Requested by @fictionfordays. Hope you enjoy! ~1.3k words

CROSS-POSTED ON AO3 / @angelshub @bitchcraftinc

Yone thinks he’s too old to be putting up with whatever shenanigans Kayn and Ezreal keep pulling him into.

Between promotions, interviews, production, and taking care of the group, he’s dedicated the majority of his time to being responsible and ensuring everything is in tip-top shape. He’s not unfamiliar with having responsibility be the key pillar in his life. Since he was a child, he took it upon himself to be someone his younger brother could look up to. He did everything he could to help his parents, working himself to the bone to ensure his family’s comfort. Not much has changed even when he’s become an idol.

Despite his weariness on some days, he can’t deny that he’s grown fond of his fellow members. He’ll put up with Aphelios’ pranks, Kayn’s ‘forgetfulness’ in doing his chores, Ezreal’s little jokes, and whatever else his life in HEARTSTEEL brings him. He supposes it’s why he found himself saying yes to Ezreal’s idea of a blind date.

Indulging in a silly idea once is harmless, he thinks. Maybe if he just went along, it’ll sate Ezreal enough to leave him be for a while. As happy (well, not really) as he is to indulge in his friend’s antics, he’d also prefer it if Ezreal didn’t bring up the idea every other day. And even if this is just to keep his all-too-enthusiastic friend at bay, he’s also not one to do things halfheartedly. For the first time since his audition, Yone is somewhat nervous.

Meeting new people isn’t all too familiar. He always greets his seniors, juniors, staff, or anyone he may come across on the job. But this isn’t a job, it’s something meant to potentially spark romance in his life which is far from professional. He hasn’t even been on a regular date. He’s well aware of what it usually entails, but he’s never actively sought out this sort of thing. He hopes whoever his date will be won’t feel too disappointed if he doesn’t catch their interest. He knows they’re Ezreal’s friend, but that doesn’t quite narrow it down.

He fiddles with his face mask (for safety measures, really) as he waits for his date at the table. Thanks to Kayn, the street where the restaurant is located is completely silent save for its employees and the occasional unknowing passer-by. He’s not sure what Kayn did—in fact, he’s not even going to ask—but if it means not having to stress as much about paparazzi and overly eager fans, he’s not going to pass up the opportunity. 

“Gosh, sorry I’m late—Yone?”

Said man looks up from his drink with wide eyes, surprised to see that you’re standing right in front of him. Or, more accurately, one of Ezreal’s best friends, and the fact that both of you are surprised means that the guy’s got more talent for discretion than he let on.

“Did Ezreal put you up to this?” you ask with an amused lilt, taking a seat in front of him. He nods quietly. “Hm. So that’s why he’s been so suspicious lately. Seraphine just told me she wanted me to meet a friend, but well… I didn’t think it’d be you.”

“Are you disappointed?” Yone blurts out.

The corners of your lips curl into a small smile. “No, of course not. I’m pretty happy about it, actually. But what brings you here?”

He doesn’t know you that well, he realises. While you’re always there for the group dinners or parties, he’s never had a proper conversation with you aside from simple hellos here and there. He’s not too familiar with the warmth rising in his cheeks either, but if he has to guess, it definitely has something to do with the way you’re looking at him.

“Ah, well…” He’s not sure if he should say the truth. He’s aloof, yes, but he’s not insensitive. “Ezreal thought I should try something new.”

“Hey, that makes both of us! By the way, I have the same Poro keychain! They’re really cute, aren’t they?”

He feels relieved that you seem to be carrying the conversation just fine even if he doesn’t think he’s great at it. Usually, the extroverts of HEARTSTEEL are responsible for answering interview questions. Yone’s there for the more professional and practical side of things, like speaking to other producers or the company president. As you start to talk about your day, he listens to every word and finds himself getting lost in how much he likes being in your presence. You’re more animated than he is and you still ask about his day even when he doesn’t believe it’s as interesting as yours.

He really likes that about you, he concludes.

“I forgot to mention this, but isn’t this district usually full of people? Why’s it so quiet today?” Your curious expression practically has him melting at how adorable you look. He prides himself on keeping his composure, but your presence alone is making him doubt his ability to be calm.

Yone is never nervous. The only other time he’s felt that way was when he first stepped through the company doors as a trainee. But the longer he sits here with you, his heart races and it’s getting harder to focus when you’re undoubtedly quite a perfect match for him.

(Damn that kid and his ‘super senses.’)

He clears his throat. “Kayn’s responsible for it.”

Perfect . He zoned out thinking about you when you’re right in front of him and he completely forgot to answer your question. Lucky enough, you don’t seem to mind.

“I’m… not sure I want to know the details.”

“It’s fine. I didn’t ask, either.” He chuckles. “I think it’s better not to.”

Your laughter rings beautifully like every song he’s ever loved. Everything feels new, and his thoughts are running a mile a minute, but he thinks he wants to take this jump into spontaneity and adventure with you.

“It’s getting late… I should head back. Gotta be on set early tomorrow.”

“Could we do this again?”

Your features soften into a teasing smile. “You like me already, don’t you?”

“Well, yes—”

“Of course, we can do this again,” you say gently, “I like you too, Yone. You don’t have to be so nervous around me.”

You reach over the table to take his hand in yours and he damn near short circuits at how your hand fits in so perfectly with his. He can barely process the coy glint in your eyes from how flustered he feels.

“I’ll walk you back.”

“Oh, a gentleman!” you chirp, “Now I wish I’d spoken to you sooner.”

The walk to the train station is too short for his liking. He’d really like to spend the rest of the night with you, but you still have things to do and Yone can’t be away for too long lest something happens in the dorm. As if you could sense him sulking, you gently tug on his sleeve and urge him to look at you. Before he can ask, you’re already leaning up to press a chaste kiss on his cheek, an action that has his eyes widening and his heart racing once again.

“I’ll see you again, Yone.”

His face feels like it’s burning as he watches you skip and disappear into the crowd. How can a single person reduce him to such a state so effortlessly? Still, he can’t help but look forward to the next time he’ll get to spend time with you again. He thinks you’re going to be quite the presence in his life and he’s more than happy to let that happen. 

Yone usually regrets saying yes to what Kayn or Ezreal rope him in, but this time around, he doesn’t regret it at all. He couldn’t wait to see you again. Maybe without his friends meddling in this time, but he supposes he does have them to thank for leading him to you.

Plus, he still needs to get your number.

[taintedbenevolence]

Hello 𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐫𝐚 !~

A fellow anon here, I was requesting a silly smut~ Neuvillette and A fem reader indulging in the sweetest thing of …

𝐏𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐘

I think it would be a very very cute thing if.. it went south? :3

PLEASE BEGGING FOR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE AND SIZE KINK

- 𝐕 📍📌

a/n: ah, this is certainly interesting. please, do forgive me for the extremely late delivery, writer's block has been destroying me as of late. I like to think that when reader first brings up the idea of the whole pocky thing, it would be up to her to try to convince Neuvi to try it out. There's just no way he's doing this without being convinced of it. But once he's convinced I'm pretty sure he'll happily do it without complaints, and he might even bring it up another time. But please, spare Neuvi; he's being constantly teased. Poor dragon has to put up with so much affection and teasing! Perhaps some love-making is in order, and maybe, just maybe, it's enough to reciprocate the sweetness he's being offered in turn?

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !!

Warnings!

sexual content, sexual insinuations, size kink, dom!neuvillette, implied sub!reader, implied fem!reader, reader is implied to be married with neuvillette, implied height difference, semi-public sex, office sex, monster fucking(?), dragon neuvillette, double penetration, mature content not suitable for minors or audiences below the age of eighteen.

Character Pairing! Neuvillette x Fem! reader Characters Included! Neuvillette Series! Genshin Impact Classification! Smut THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD !!

Ah, you and your antics at it again.

Pocky.

Of all things in the world. Of course you'd try and tempt the Iudex of Fontaine with Pocky.

Had you not learned your lesson, truly? How many times must he reprimand you for interrupting his important work for such mundane and irregular activities you could engage in at a more proper time and space?

A shame, truly; you'd come dressed so beautifully lascivious when you presented yourself to him. It made him frown, thinking of the Melusines guarding his office who saw you walk by in such a suggestive manner. Could you not have spared them and waited for him to come home?

Unacceptable, he thinks to himself. Devilish, he murmurs, as you walked inside.

To interrupt his highly valued work for a treat? .. How unruly.

Alas, he couldn't complain. Not right now, when you felt so good, gasping, squirming and writhing beneath him, whining with your thighs pressed up to your heaving chest as he slowly penetrated you, making sure you absorbed every tiny, tingling sensation, ensuring you were alright as you sobbed.

Perhaps you should be glad the Hydro Dragon had arranged for the walls of his office to be soundproof a few months ago. You'd pity the Melusines if they were to hear the venereal sounds that were to come out of both you and Neuvillette.

The dragon slowly slid himself inside you, the tip of his other member already with a ring of pre-cum as it rubbed your folds messily. The usually stoic, gentle Iudex now had a lack of regards for propriety and neatness, drinking in your soft mewls and desperate moans as you trembled beneath him.

You were so tiny, so very small in comparison to him. It almost made you look pathetic with how big he was. You still remembered it - being pushed down and only feeling the abnormally large bulge of your husband only slightly grinding down on you, only feeling your heartbeat race as he undressed.

You knew by now how he was usually in bed - gentle, sweet, cautious. A soft-hearted, caring partner who put your needs first before his own. Yet most, if not all of that, seemed to be suppressed in this moment, where you found yourself fully exposed, forced to stare as you watched your beloved stretch your walls to accommodate to only just one of his cocks.

And speaking of the other one, you only kept squirming more because it kept rubbing, creating friction against your folds, causing you to quiver. The motion was slow and painful, yet the movement of him entering you also tingled you with brief flicks of pleasure.

Sliding further deeper inside with greater speed, he earned from you a sudden, sharp whine.

"A-ah!.. 't's, too m-much," you gasp consequentially, shuddering, feeling him slightly twitch inside of you. Yet the Iudex only hushes you, caressing your lips with slender fingers as he only slides in deeper, ensuring you've taken all of his length.

"You'll be alright," he reassures, and you can't help but question just how he remains so stone-faced whilst he adjusts to how tight you're squeezing him, your wetness and arousal all too visible to him as he parted you.

Really, just how needy were you? For archons' sake, you were wet and ready before he had laid a finger on you.

He moves slightly, and he feels your walls tighten around him, causing a slight groan, more akin to a hiss to escape between his lips. Gods, you were so tight. How long has it been since you...-

"S' much," You whine, bringing him out of his thoughts. For crying out loud, he had barely even begun to move, let alone do half the things he had in mind for the evening.

"You'll take it," Neuvillette only huffs in his usual, monotone voice, with a few grunts emitting from him as he slowly begins to thrust, moving in and out, picking up the pace as your moans and cries increase in volume and rapidity, letting him know that you do well enjoy this.

He's pounding in you at a velocity at which you grow to no longer register, wave after wave of pleasure hitting you to the core. Your eyes squeeze shut and open slightly as your lips part, breathy moans leaving your throat.

There is not much sound in the office of the Iudex, save for the nasty noise of wet slapping of skin against skin and a mix of groans and moans. Thrust after thrust, your mind's thoughts slowly become blank, unable to think of anything, exempting how good it felt to be fucked to oblivion by none other than the Hydro Dragon Sovereign.

You could already tell your high was on its way, but as soon as you felt it come, you felt the sudden thrusts come to a stop, and you only slightly blink, gazing at Neuvillette as you see him retract. Yet it's not enough, leaving both of his members still perfectly aligned with your sensitive folds and your hole, leaving you twitching on occasion.

"Neuvi?" you manage to whimper, as you slightly yelp, feeling his large body press onto your smaller frame, his cold gaze firmly fixated onto your flushed body, cold sweat starting to line on your brows, his two members' tips slightly penetrating you.

It earns a soft whine from you, a few tears beginning to prick the corners of your eyes, although not out of agony, as your brain is reduced to mush, your heart beating for a night's pleasure with the Iudex of Fontaine.

"Silence, if you would," hearing your whine, the Iudex replies sternly. "You've already interrupted me enough this evening." And you only hear an irritated sigh, before you meet his lustful gaze.

His fingers grasp your chin, slowly tilting it so that you meet his gaze, his glowing, ocean hues staring down at you. "Let me remind you once more, [Name]. What happens when you interrupt my duties as the Iudex of Fontaine?"

A mouthful, for such an intimate moment.

"I'm quite sure you aren't aware of the consequences you enlist yourself to be subject to by doing these things," The Hydro Dragon rumbles as his grip on your chin tightens.

"Or it could well be that you do not care. It seems I'll have to be the one to personally administer your punishment." His eyes narrow as he speaks.

Your eyes only faintly widen at his words, and the Iudex only smiles at that faintly, chuckling softly as his free hand trails up behind your head, slowly running through your hair, before he grips it tightly, almost in a harsh manner, contrasting the sweetness of his words.

"I do hope you know well that this night is still far from its end, ma bien-aimée. We very well have a long way to go before it culminates."

[mrjaygatsbi]

Hello Old Sports ! (Introductory Post)

I’m Lulabel (they/he) AKA the most insufferable Jay Gatsby kin to date /lh :D

As my first ever post I wanted to share my commissioned Natsby plushies that have just been mailed to me <3

I’m autistic and TGG has been a special interest of mine for around 4 years now, and I’ve decided to stop lurking and use tumblr as a little outlet to post about how not normal I am about this book and all the media attached to it! And as a little blog of the adventures of Jay Gatsby and Nick Carraway (plush form :3)

I’ll be taking these little guys on two New York trips that I’ve got booked so stay tuned for that, and I’ll be taking them to future comic cons where me and my best friends cosplay TGG !! And I’ll be taking them on any trip I go on really.. So essentially, this is just going to be a silly blog of my plushies adventures, and my love for TGG (also I’m dying to interact with fellow members of the fandom so PLEASEEE hmu)

[popularkid-basilous]

[★★Mister Shapely roleplay blog★★]

"Why hello there, earthling! You can call me Mister Shapely! It's a pleasure to meet you."

[Mod @pansexual-music-teacher here! This used to be a ppt roleplay blog, but I wanted to change it. So uhh... Yeah-]

I love the silly astronomy teacher so why not roleplay as him :3

Some info on this guy that I found from the wiki.

- Shapley is often hinted at being the strongest in Edgyverse.

- His favorite food is dark and light- and other cosmic bodies-

- He doesn't have a confirmed age.

My headcanons for this goober

- He has the ability to fix things and the ability to heal people when they are injured.

- Actually very harmless unless you try to piss him off-

- Fond of the other staff members.

- Doesn't feel any kind of romantic feelings towards anyone.

- Also has the ability to heal himself.

- Able to lift extremely heavy objects.

- Knows things that others don't-

- For the tickle community: Unfortunately, he's not ticklish.

- Can make a lot of weird noises.

- Can be found sleeping in the most odd places... Like the ceiling-

Rules ★

- No NSFW or suggestive content.

- No racism, homophobia, transphobia, or other stuff like that.

- Respect me, the people I roleplay with, and my headcanons.

- Please don't send asks for money/donations, I have no money to give you.

- Just be a good person-

"Mister Shapely will talk like this"

[Mod will talk in green.]

Fellow teachers/staff

@math-teacher-who-loves-oreos @miss-bloomies-science-class @wendigo-language-teacher @pansexual-music-teacher @best-art-teacher-miss-sasha @lesbian-history-teacher @mrbasils-cookies @ask-principal-grace @very-tired-principal @ask-mister-barrel @mister-hotchkiss-craft-teacher @janitor-mister-broomire

Dearest students...

@askclairefpe @claire-the-silly @engels-ask-blog @silly-lesbian-bubble @lana-and-her-sockpuppets @abbie-appleboy

@oliversoapeater-official @zip-the-chaos-child @3dward-th3-s1lly

@emo-kitty-skell @rabies-infested-riley @riley-crazy-kid

@ask-silly-rabbit

@ask-margaret-sterling @marvin-sterlinggg @ask-kali-stuff @ask-amy

Alice

@alice-monstrous-princess

Other

@danger-abbie @danger-zipster @danger-oliverrr @danger-bloomie

@cannibalistic-forest-god @askmyfpeocs @ask-elliot-fpe

[I apologize if you aren't mentioned, might edit this later. But other than that, I think that's everything- Have fun! ^^]

[pitchsidestories]

Girls like girls like boys do II Kyra Cooney-Cross x Reader

a/n: The tiktok video was our inspiration for this oneshot. We hope the person who requested a KCC oneshot ages ago likes how it finally turned out. ❤️

arsenal women masterlist I word count: 1965

"Saw your face, heard your name Gotta get with you Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new Isn't this why we came? Tell me if you feel it too! Tell me, girls like girls like boys do Nothing new"

~ Hayley Kiyoko, Girls Like Girls

Three beaming australian players were strolling along at London Colney while you were busy preparing the set up for the upcoming tiktoks.

You really enjoyed your internship in the social media departement of the Arsenal Women Football Club. It was a joy and pleasure to work with such a talented team off and on the pitch. Moreover, working here really sparked your creativity which you thought you lost a bit during your studies at university.

With a bright smile on her lips, Steph Catley was the first of the three players to greet you: "Hi, y/n got a new aussie to work with you today."

"Hi.", Kyra Cooney-Cross waved at you. Her cheeks were slightly blushed as she took a closer look at you. "Hello, nice to meet you, Kyra.", you said in a warm tone, trying to make her feel comfortable and less nervous about her first days with a new club.

A real smile appeared on the young australian midfielder's face: "Nice to meet you too."

With a cheeky grin Caitlin Foord striked different silly poses in front of you which made everyone laugh: "So what are we supposed to do ?"

"No, worries Cait, I already have an idea how to introduce the newest aussie member to the Arsenal family.", you told the striker before you winked at the latest addition who came from Sweden.  Curiously Steph glanced at you:"You do?" "Yes and it goes perfectly with Caitlins goofy mood.", you replied. "That’s the best videos.", the striker declared. Excited Kyra was clapping her hands: "I can't wait." "Yes, let's go.", the defender announced equally motivated.  "Great, so let's get started.", you nodded, ready to show them the ideas you had in mind for them.

After all the filming was done Kyra was nervously licking her lips as she turned her face to the fellow Matilda teammate:"I don't know how to, Cait." "Don't know what?", Caitlin asked friendly. From afar she spotted you, so the young midfielder mumbled blushing: "Doesn’t matter."

Later in the evening Kyra arrived at her new flat, which was still relatively unhomely with all the cardboard boxes still being around, that was the moment when she started missing her former Hammarby teammates.

The ache intensified, as she saw Katrina Gorry video calling her, while taking the call the young player could see the older Australian woman’s face lighting up: “Hi, little one.” “Hi Mini.”, Kyra replied softly.

Smiling brightly Katrina told her: “Harper and I saw the Tiktok Arsenal made with Cait, Stephy and you.” “You did? Tell Harper I said hi.” “I’ll, she loved it, the woman who lived in Sweden admitted before changing the subject with a bright grin on her small face, But now back to you, you wrote something about a cute girl.”

A nervous cough escaped from the younger midfielder’s lips: Yeah…” “Tell me about her.”, the older player encouraged her, looking very cozied up in her chair.  Slowly Kyra opened up: “She’s the social media manager?” “Means you’ll have plenty of opportunities to get to know her.”, Katrina winked at her. The tease was enough to make the new Arsenal player blush: “I can’t.”

“Why not?”, the young mum asked slightly irritated. The response came quickly from the other side: “She’s working for Arsenal.” “So do you.” “Yeah. Isn’t that a problem?”, Kyra played with a loose string of her hair to calm down her nerves.

Empathetically Katrina shook her head: “Not at all. Oh my god, you’re literally so cute Kyra. You know that you’ve players in your team who date each other, right? So that’s not much of a difference, you see.” Mini as she was lovingly nicknamed by teammates and fans felt the motherly urge to hug the younger woman, but was kind of sad about the fact that she couldn’t do it in this particular moment.

Kyra frowned; “I do think that’s very different.“ Katrina on the other end just sighed; “Okay.“ “You don’t think that?“ “No, you should give it a try.“, replied the older football player sternly. Kyra bit her lip; “Seriously?“ A small smile appeared on Katrinas lips; “Only if she wants to too of course.“ But not even that wiped the doubtful look off of Kyras face; “But I’ve never asked a girl out.“ “Oh, trust me, it’s not very different to asking a boy out.“, Katrina laughed. With a shy smile, Kyra admitted “It does feel different. Actually, boys used to ask me out.“ Her team mate sighed; “Yeah, I know. But fuck the patriarchy.“ Katrina barely finished her sentence, when her eyes went wide. She turned to her two year old daughter; “Shit, Harper, you didn’t hear that!“ But it was obviously too late. “Fuck the patriarchy!“, a childs voice repeated enthusiastically. Now this finally made Kyra smile brightly; “At least this time, it was you and not me.“ She thought about the world cup and the times she had to swallow the swear words she was about to say because Katrinas daughter was around.

“Do you want to hear about my first time asking a girl out?“, Katrina asked, obviously interested in changing the topic quickly. Kyra nodded; “Sure.“ “Alright. So, I was so nervous I stumbled over my own words. I couldn’t get out a full sentence. But the girl knew where I was trying to go and said yes anyway. What I’m trying to say is, you probably won’t be as awkward as me. Or if you are, it might just run in our family.“ “You know we’re not actually related, Mini.“, Kyra snorted. Katrina smiled softly into the camera; “I know but we’re found family.“ “Thank you. That means a lot to me.“ “You’re welcome. Call me after you asked her out, okay? I have to take Harper to bed now.“ The toddler was currently trying to climb onto her mum’s lap, rubbing her eyes, so Kyra waved into the camera; “Good Night, you two. Love you.“

With a bright smile on your face, you greeted the newest Australian signing on the next day: “Good morning, Kyra.” The grin intensified as you followed her gaze, catching her looking at your sports bag: “Oh yeah, I’m playing too, amateur football tho, later we do have a game, that’s why I carry this around.” “You’re playing too?”, Kyra asked, her mouth feeling suddenly dry from that unexpected but equally lovely news. “I’m a midfielder just like you, but not that good.”, you answered, your cheeks turning red. The arsenal player replied warmly: “Oh don’t say that. We all started there.” “I guess that’s true, and I really like my team, you stopped before suggesting boldly, Maybe you want to watch a game of mine someday so you can judge for yourself.” “Really? Yeah, sure. I’d love to.”, the young midfielder was clearly delighted by that opportunity to see another side of you. “Cool, when do you think you can make it?” “Oh, probably not today.”, Kyra nervously licked her lips. Quickly you reassured her: “I did not expect you to that’s why I asked.”

Later the young Australian player was sitting next to Caitlin in the changing room after the training for the day was done. The older attacking player raised up her eyebrows: “She invited you to watch a game of hers? That’s almost a day.” “That’s not a date..”, Kyra whispered. Meanwhile Steph joined them and suggested: “If you want to we can go to the match together. What do you think about that?” “Really? You’d come with me?”, the youngest of the three looked very relieved by that prospect.  Encouragingly Caitlin nodded: “Of course.” “How about next week? Before the season starts?”, Kyra asked them excited. Smiling Caitlin promised her: “We’ll be there.”

The next weekend, when Arsenal had a free day, Caitlin picked Kyra up to go watch your game. “Let’s see how good our content creator is.“, she said excitedly as they entered the football pitch together. Kyra was trying to find you, so she only realized that Steph joined them when Caitlin added; “Oh my god, you brought Calvin with you, Steph?“ “Of course I brought him. Couldn’t leave him at home.“, she laughed. Kyras face immediately lit up as she crouched down to pet the dog; “Hi cutie!“ “He says Hi, auntie Kyra.“, Steph replied for her dog who was trying to lick Kyras face.

But as soon as the first whistle was blown, the attention of the three Australians shifted towards the game. “She’s really good.“, Kyra noticed after a few minutes of watching you. Caitlin sighed dramatically, eyes wandering over the pitch; “God, I miss this.“ “Me too. I think I’ll try to go here more often. It’s fun.“, Kyra grinned. Steph nudged Caitlin with her elbow; “It’s so cute, Cait. Kyra is crushing on her.“ The younger player shot them an offended glance but Caitlin didn’t take her eyes off the grass; “And I’m crushing on this grassroots football, Steph. Don’t you ever miss playing like this? Just for fun?“ “I do. But look at Kyra.“ Arsenals newest signing was back at watching you, ignoring her two team mates. “She’s enjoying this.“ With smirk, Steph nodded; “Not only the game.“ “She said it’s not a date but it basically is a date.“, Caitlin agreed, laughing.

As soon as the final whistle blew, you walked over to the side of the pitch to hug your visitors; “Hi, my three favourite aussies.“ “Hey, great game.“ “Yes, it was great to watch.“, Steph and Caitlin offered their compliments. “Thank you.“, you smiled gratefully, before turning to Kyra who went suspiciously quiet, “Did you enjoy the game too, Kyra?“ “Oh, yes, I did. You were amazing.“, she answered fast, almost stumbling over her own words. Your smile only got brighter; “I’m glad that you did.“

“Caitlin, let’s go. Calvin needs a walk now.”, Steph dragged the forward with her, feeling you two needed time to talk alone in peace. For a second Caitlin gave the defender an irritated look: “I thought he just was on one!, when she realized her teammates plan behind that move and added quickly, yeah, okay, see you two tomorrow.” “Bye girls.”, you waved at them, still smiling while shaking your head at them. Nervously Kyra went through her hair with one hand: “So…” “Yes?” “I know this is weird but.. would you go out on a date with me?”, the Australian midfielder asked, her cheeks turning pink. Immediately you tried to calm down her nerves by saying: “Kyra it’s not weird at all. I’d love to go on a date with you. Do you want to get something to eat with me after I changed into normal clothes`” “Yes sure.”, Kyra nodded happily. A huge grin appeared on your lips as you said your goodbyes for now: “Perfect, see you in a few minutes.”

From afar Caitlin and Steph were watching you two. The forward turned to the defender visibly amused: “So I guess we don’t have to take her home now.” “Right, come on Calv, time for us to leave.”, Steph said, the dog himself could not wait to get back to his place after this adventurous day for him.

A few days after your first real date Kyra decided to video call her national teammate because she could not wait to tell her the great news. Curiously Katrina glanced at the younger footballer:“ So, what did she say?” “She said yes and she’s my girlfriend now.”, the Arsenal midfielder confessed. Excited Katrina lifted her arms up into the air: “I fucking knew it.” Her swearing made her wife looking really annoyed at her, so she tried to defend herself, sorry love, but thank god, Harper is asleep so she could not hear me using those words to express my excitement.”

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello! Could I request a Caine x Reader, where the reader doesn't know how to interact with most people, and because of it, they might be more comfortable interacting with Caine than they are with the other humans?

No pressure to do this, and have a great day/night/whatever time it is for you right now!

Caine x reader who primarily hangs around Caine

We are on that grind!!

Notes: reader is GN, not proof read we are getting too silly, can be read as either romantic or platonic

CWs: mentions of bullying but in a "jax is being jax" and IT'S VERY brief

You always had trouble connecting with some of the other circus members- in a worst case scenario you might even become a subject to jax's pranks and torment which feeds into the problem

Caine tries to gently push you to interact with your fellow circus members but overall he doesnt outright force you unless you NEED the stimulation- he doesnt want to see you abstract, hes grown quite fond of you

Besides, he also likes having some privacy when hes out doing his tasks- not that he doesnt want you around

But when he DOES want you around hes more than happy taking you around wherever, even conjuring up some settings tailored to your tastes!

Need somewhere quiet? Or perhaps loud? Hes got you covered! Want NPCs? Want it to just he him and you? Just say the word!

Even goes as far as to pop bubble if you truly want it to just be the two of you

Definitely gives you little pep talks before sending you off to go participate in an in house adventure if you decide to go out and do one

Wipes away a tear as he watches you join the others, very lighthearted- hes just proud of you is all!

[twisted-wishing-well]

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[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Moira Headcanons: Your Fate Is Sealed (Overwatch)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am here with a new chapter, this is one with Moira! Happy Saint Patrick's Day!]  (Disclaimer: Moira is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!)  -Base Yandere Headcanons With Yandere Moira X Gender-Neutral Reader From Overwatch- 

.Moira is a woman who is a bit obsessed with herself and thinks that she is way superior to mostly everyone else. 

.She started working for Overwatch, but was fired, but Gabriel Reyes brought her into Blackwatch where she did her job and her research.  .But this was enough for her, she wanted more, so she experimented on herself and on fellow Blackwatch members. 

.She was focused on having the next stage of human evolution which would be from the science and test she runs. 

.She was going to fix humans and she would do whatever it took to get there. 

.She joined Talon and was one of the main reasons that Overwatch fell. 

.She was going to change the world and she did not care what she had to do to get to it! 

.She met you, a stunning person who was perfect in every single way~ 

.She knew she had you and she was going to have you, Mark her words. 

.She would have a Talon member to keep an eye on you for her, but also she would have cameras in your home and workplace. 

.So that she knows that you are safe and sound and when she has the time she will be watching you herself. 

.She loves you and wants to make sure that you are taken care of, but at some point, she will kidnap you to make sure you do not leave her side. 

.She is the type of yandere that believes she is the only one good enough for you, and that you are almost perfect~ 

.You just had to learn that you belonged to her and then you would be perfection. 

.She is more than willing to make you perfect and she is not going to stop until you are perfect and that you are here and her alone. 

.She is very much the type that would experiment on you, she is going to find a way to make you and her both immortal so that you and her would be able to be together for literally forever. 

.Even when all human life and all that is left is the animal and omnics, you and her will be the only humans left in the entire world. 

.She would make sure that you and she were always together, you did not have a choice in the matter. 

.She would deal with rivals by making them into human test subjects, where they would NOT be treated well at all. They are treated way worse than animals, I am talking War Crimes type of treatment. 

.She would make sure they suffered greatly, but they would have also been put to "good" use to help humanity get better. 

.But also she would have used them as test subjects to find a way for you and her to be immortal so that she and you can always be together. 

.In her mind they were a much-needed sacrifice so that she and you could live happily together. 

.She would be a very controlling yandere one who does not let you out of her sight of let you do anything. 

.You can expect you will be locked in a room which has cameras as well and has it where you never have to leave it. 

.Not unless you are with her. She would also have put a tracker in you, so if you were ever silly and tried to run from her, she would be able to find you easily and bring you back, where she would punish you. 

.That is right she is going to punish you a lot for daring to leave her, in any way shape, or form. 

.She might even try and erase your memories before her, so that you have no memories about anyone except for her. 

.She is also a yandere who is extremely manipulative she is going to manipulate you into being a good partner for her. 

.You once again do not have a choice, she is giving you no choices, all you must do is to learn to accept her love and everything will be easier that way. 

.She confesses her love to you after kidnapping you, telling you that she loves you and that you belong to her. Not anyone else. 

.She does not care if you do not accept her love like I said before you did not have a choice in the matter. 

.Although if you do accept her love it will go a lot smoother for you, and you will earn some privileges. She of course will still have you be almost treated like a human pet. 

.Yes, she sees that she owns you and you are like a pet of hers and that it Is her job to take care of you and keep you by her side. 

.If you say no, and fight her on her love for you you can bet that it will be so much harder for you. 

.I am talking strapped down to the bed and shock collar type of stuff. 

.you are hers and if she has to train you to be a good partner then that is what she will do. 

.Like I said she would erase your memories about your family and life before her. 

.Maybe even do it with electro-shock therapy. 

.She needs to make sure that you only think of her and only love her. 

.So she will do everything it takes to make you love her and her alone. 

.In the end, she is really dangerous as a yandere and willing to use science to make you submit to her and make you love her. 

.She also once again will make you and her immortal and you will be with her for all of eternity, it does not matter where you go or where you hide. 

.She will find you and make you hers, also if you try and run too many times, cybernetic prosthetics have come a long way, and you could easily lose the right to your limbs if you keep up trying to run away from her. 

.Your fate is sealed when Moira falls into obsessive love with you. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[merlucide]

Hi and Hello fellow GFFC members! 😌

Quick update about GFFC Movie Night: Memories, The date will be pushed back just a few days, most likely the 14th or so.

Very sorry! The script I had decided it didn’t want to be apart of the event and didn’t save 🥲 Fear not! We will still have a silly event of course 😌

Buuuut—! While you wait for Movie Night I just so happen to have a quiz for you! 🙈

Just a silly little questionnaire about GFFC members! :D (inspired by rini)

Link to the survey!

I apologize I was only able to include about 28 members in the quiz, the quiz glitched too bad 🫠 I included the most active/older members, so I’m very sorry if you do not see your name on it, you weren’t forgotten, just it was too glitchy 😓

Please finish as soon as you can so I can get out the results soon! <3

Thank you for your patience and understanding!! T.T

– Mira n Kira <3

Tags utc

@blue-thief @getosugurusbangs @bueris @soleilonthesun @galaxynajma

@sid3buns @mariyumemi @pinkinsect @refrigeratedboombursts @satosuguhastakenovermylife

@10renz0 @atlas-atlantic @boinin @sharkissm @biggestcharleskinnie @yolkochan @helpwhat

@jujutsustraycats @sharks-3 @nskiyuriz @the-lazyyy-artist @thebestsetter @the-rini-rush

@asarajaa @writingonthewalls1832 @milaisreading

@8-xnny @licoririce @luvingshidou @duckydee-0 @reonaissance @pupsndpaws @fishii28 @i-am-so-strange @meowkages @zendersenders @o-sachi @darthvada

@kuro-min @marcsnuffy @filecurropt0 @riririnnnn

@wroophruh @sanaexus @melodiclune

[buglegs]

irritating (england x f!reader)

new in the building and hating life, reader meets her boss's closest associate for the first time a/n: hi. i cant believe i did this. i haven't written fanfic in a fat minute. if this opener goes down well, i'll turn it into a series. i do actually want to write multiple parts so we'll see

Part 2

With a cat in my lap, a book in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. Oh boy! I sure was enjoying my day off.

A day off from the world.

But, oh, no. Who could've guessed it?

My manager was calling. On my bedside table sat my phone, face up, screen illuminated displaying 'work.'

Eight in the morning and already I wanted to die.

"Oh, day off, how I've appreciated you so," I spoke theatrically to myself, setting my book down and reaching for my buzzing phone, "What do you think they want, kitty?"

Your joy, more than likely. Undoubtedly said my telepathic cat.

"They've rescheduled the conference for nine-thirty this morning, get here asap, no one else in the area is available and Mr Jones likes an assistant to be present at all times." Spoke the voice on the opposite side of the line, "Floor 9, Pasaulinis conference room written on the door, can't miss it."

Kitty was right. They wanted my joy.

I'd been recently hired as a secretary for my boss's boss, Mr Jones.

They said secretary, but aside from unpacking in the new building, all my responsibilities had consisted of retrieving coffee from the café downstairs and taking men's coats.

I suppose it'd be silly to complain, considering my rates…

Sigh. "Okay! I'll see you soon," I responded cheerily, though my face certainly wouldn't have shown it. I hung up before they could say anything more.

I checked the time and -- Oh, great heavens! It was near time to leave. Wonderful.

With much regret, I ushered my cat out of my lap so I could take a rushed shower and be on my merry way.

One rushed shower and a coffee later, I was exactly where I needed to be,

Looking up at a big, fugly corporate building. God, I hated these motherfuckers. But they paid me suspiciously well, couldn't hate them too much.

I made my way in, saying my socially-obligatory hello's and how-are-you's to my fellow staff members and making a beeline for the elevator with the least people within it.

I eyed the buttons, noting '9' was already lit, along with 3, but who gives a fuck about floor three when you're headed for nine?

In the lift with me was a cleaner, and an extremely well-dressed bloke with, undeniably, the best eyebrows in the entire cosmos.

I knew immediately Eyebrows must've been headed for the conference room, by his 'I'm so much better than you' demeanour. Conference-goers tended to have that.

At floor three, the cleaner shuffled out, pushing her trolley with her.

The doors shut, and with a ding, the elevator ascended.

It's just us now, Eyebrows. Me and you. You and I. You're the type to correct people on that, I bet. God, you're insufferable.

My jaw clenched as he turned his head to me and spoke,

"Excuse me, miss,"

Oh, an accent. British. I could have guessed…

I looked at him, a polite smile stretched across my lips, "Sir?"

"Would you happen to be heading to the World Conference?"

Oh, that's right. The corporation's name is 'World.' How the hell did they get away with that? I mean that's such a… oh. What was it called again?

"I am," I nodded, then averting my gaze. He was pretty.

Too pretty. Can't look at pretty people too long. They burn my eyes. That's why I can't spend too much time in the mirror. Zing!!

"Excuse my bad manners… I'm Arthur, Kirkland." He introduced himself, offering his hand,

"y/n… l/n," I reached out for his hand. His handshake was more of a delicate hold. It was so…

"Are you a country-?" He questioned. I didn't notice the look of dismay that crossed over his face after speaking. Though, it wouldn't have given me any hint as to what he could have meant.

"I'm sorry? I… don't think I understand," I spoke sheepishly, retracting my hand, "I'm Mr Jones's assistant. I, uh, I bring him coffee."

He chuckled, "I suppose you know then that he's a bit of a brewzilla," He joked.

My eyebrows knit together in confusion, "Brewzilla-?" I laughed softly, "He is a bit of a monster before his first coffee in the morning, I guess."

His eyes lit up. I guessed I picked up on his pun exactly as he intended.

Maybe this conference-goer wasn't so insufferable...

Pfft. Naw. They all suck.

The elevator dinged, the doors spread apart and we both stepped out, looking down the long hall way.

"You wouldn't happen to know which room we're supposed to be in?" He asked, just as clueless as I.

"Uhh… My manager said… I think… Pasaulo? Pasauli?" I shrugged and shook my head. I must've looked like a complete tool. So unprofessional.

"Ah, Pasaulinis?" He corrected, pointing toward a door that was labelled as such.

What the fuck is even a Pasaulinis? Does that mean something?

We headed in. He even held the door for me, can you believe? No one's ever held a door for me.

Inside was a long oval table, surrounded by at least a hundred seats. I hoped and prayed to whatever Gods they wouldn't all be filled. It seemed about everyone who was going to arrive had arrived, by the relaxed, almost friendly chatty air about.

At the head of the table was Mr Jones, who was getting his papers into order.

He hardly acknowledged me before throwing a quip at Mr Kirkland, who paid him no mind.

Mr Kirkland gave me a quick 'it was nice to meet you' before making his way over to an unclaimed seat, and loudly, Mr Jones called me over, handing me a sheet of paper and a pen.

"Is this… a non-disclosure agreement?" I questioned with hesitation.

"Uhhh, duh! Says it right there!" He laughed, "Don't worry, it's just a formality, dude!"

Dude. God, I'll never get used to that. In a place like this.

"If you say so… Homie…" I sighed, signing the paper and handing it back to him. The previous day, he'd insisted I refer to him as either homie, home-dawg or home-slice. Couldn't tell you why.

He gave me a nod, signalling to close and lock the door, which I did before promptly heading to stand behind him. At his command, ready to be ordered about and obey like a dumb little dog.

With everything seemingly out of the way, the meeting was in session.

-

So… Standing in at my first conference for… What is the company called again?

It remained unclear. I'd seen it tens of times before, and heard it spoken, but for some odd reason, it never stuck.

At the end of the conference hall, I stood idle, hands cupped together at my backside. I stared down at the plain grey carpet, feet already beginning to ache in my heels.

I'd taken secretary-assistant-intern-whatever gigs before. They'll hire you so long as you look pretty and have some data entry experience.

I never took much in from conference meetings. They were all the same, usually. A bunch of entitled men all gathered around a big table, having a pissing contest. Who had the best idea always boiled down to who could best assert the size of their cock. Figurative cock. Dominance, I mean. That's probably a better word, huh?

"…Regarding the development of Cabo Verde…"

This one seemed no different, except the NDA I had to sign was made out to be a bigger deal than ever before.

Still, I had little interest.

"So what do you propose is to be done about this… Problem?"

What was different about this environment was that these guys seemed to be at the top of something. They weren't employers. They had employers employing employers employing employers employing staff.

"Miss (I/n)," Spoke Mr Jones as he twisted his body to face me,

"Coffee, pronto!" He had a sort of… Charisma. He was an animated man. Caricaturial, almost.

"Goodness, Alfred, is that any way to speak to a lady? You could at the very least have said please." Said Mr Kirkland, posh sounding accent shining through.

Mr Kirkland had made an impression on me as being kind, although seemingly hot-headed, by his outbursts during this meeting.

He was funny, witty, and I'd be a big fat liar if I were to say I didn't take note of how irritatingly handsome he was.

Still, he was a corporate know-it-all, and that meant I'd refuse to see him in any other light.

Although his butting in did make me crack a grin because;

Yes, Alfred, you could've at the very least said please. How difficult is it, really?

Mr Jones only rolled his eyes.

Now that I was looking at them both, I noticed somewhat of a resemblance. It'd explain the dynamic that was presenting itself.

"Can I get anything for anyone else?" I questioned, looking around the room.

Hands raised. So many hands. And so I made my way around the table, taking orders down on a small pad.

~

thx 4 reading <3 Part 2

[sillysybilsden]

Ehilà, viaggiatore

Hey there, traveller

Dedicated to my twin Lares.

Foreword

Hello there! It's me, the Silly Sybil (fka Clever Crow). I've been wanting to do this post for months, but life got in the way and I eventually forgot about it. But hey: better late than never, right?

Now, to the post.

In this foreword, I do want to address the nature of my resources. In fact, I am not writing all of this off of articles or academic works, but off of a questionnaire I had published back in July 2023. The answers given by fellow pagans are the main resources for this blog, whose objective is that of determining the main characteristics of two different approaches to lost practices: reconstructionism and revivalism.

Why choose such a peculiar approach to resources? Reconstructionism and revivalism are part of a spectrum, which can be intended and defined differently by different practitioners. Every pagan will have a slightly different idea of these terms. That means that these labels do not have a universal meaning - there is no institution recognised worldwide that gives us the requirements to be a revivalist or a reconstructionist: it is up to the practitioner and their understanding of the term. This is the reason why I've decided to opt for a form rather than articles as a resource. After all, who, better than a pagan who lives and practices paganism daily, can instruct us about paganism-related terms?

One last important thing I want to do is introduce you to our “cast”* - the wonderful pagans who took the time to compile the form, that is:

➳ anonymous contibutor (revivalist)

➳ Dead (revivalist)

➳ Guenevere (reconstructionist)

➳ Magpie (reconstructionist)

I do feel like thanking the people above is the least I can do. For this reason, I thank all of those who participated from the bottom of my heart: this post wouldn't exist without you.

*The "cast" is formed by aquaintances from a closed Amino community.

On paganism

In order to understand the definition of paganism-related labels, we must first define paganism. My personal research led me to two definitions I will provide you with:

An umbrella-term that indicates non-Abrahamic religions*;

An umbrella-term that indicates religions that are not main world religions**.

The options above might seem similar - if not identical. However, the subtle difference between them is extremely important.

According to Dr. Angela Puca¹, pagan beliefs/religions show the following characteristics:

A polytheistic and animistic approach to spirituality;

A direct relationship with the divine - which sometimes translates with little interest to scriptures and interactions in a non-institutionalised way;

The belief of immanence - the belief that the divine is everywhere and, thus, is not external to the natural world but within the same;

As a consequence of (3.), the reverence for everything as everything holds divine power.

For the reasons above, pagans are very likely to believe in magick - if not practice it. Quoting Dr. Puca, one could say that some of the most popular beliefs that fall under paganism are “Wicca/Witchcraft, Druidry, Heathernry, Asatrù, Goddess worship, ethnic reconstructions and other animist earth-based traditions”.

Now that we have defined, very broadly, what paganism is, let us get to reconstructionism and revivalism.

*Abrahamic religions include Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

**Main world religions include, among the others, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism and Hinduism.

On reconstructionism

“Reconstructionism is about recreating an ancient or dead religion as closely as possible to the original source. This means learning about, understanding, and incorporating historical traditions. Being a Reconstructionist involves a lot of time and research.” - Magpie

“A reconstructionist seeks to find the historic pieces of practice and remain true to that as best they can.” - Guevevere

As the two members of the cast above already said ever-so-clearly, reconstructionism puts a lot of emphasis on historical accuracy - which revivalism also does but to a lesser extent, as we will see later on. The key characteristic of this approach to pagan traditions is the will to practice a dead religion as it was by ancient peoples.

For example: a modern Hellenic polytheist who considers themselves a reconstructionist will do a ritual as a 3rd century BCE Hellenic polytheist would have - if that is indeed the era they mean to reconstruct: the same pagan religion can show different characteristics depending on the century.

The modern reconstructionist practitioner will not alter the rituals and, sometimes, nor will they attempt to fill the gaps with their own UPG*². For this reason, many reconstructionists affirm that it takes a lot of time and research for them to add new practices to their own, as they must research thoroughly the subject and reconstruct it exclusively thanks to historical accounts - for this reason, they rely on academical and primary resources**. Sometimes, if gaps make it impossible to reconstruct a, say, ritual, reconstructionists might decide not to include it in its entirety - in place of, as said before, use any UPG to fill said gaps.

*Unverified Personal Gnosis: a belief that is not backed up by mythos and is exclusively theorized/recognised by the single practitioner.

**Primary resources: texts that were written in the historical period that one is researching. Eg: Saint Augustine of Hippo's texts are a primary resource to those who are researching 4th/5th century Christianity.

On revivalism

“Revivalism is a sort of subcategory of Reconstruction. It has the same goals and also has an emphasis on historical accuracy but tends to be on the less strict side and not as culturally focused*. While Recon. as a whole would include people that expect near-total adherence to historically or culturally attested practices, Revivalism is more theologically focused and has more room for adaptation to one's existing culture and environment. *cultural context is still important, revivalism just doesn't expect participation/membership to a specific culture.” - Dead

“Revivalists keep a sense of tradition within their practice but still allow room for UPG/SPG* and modern practices while still keeping it within the religion.” - anonymous contributor

As we anticipated before, revivalism, too, heavily focuses on historical accuracy. However, there is more room to add one's personal beliefs and/or alter some parts of the practice. This is the very big - and very important - difference between the two approaches: while reconstructionism hardly accepts UPG or SPG to fill the gaps - and, so, adjust part of a practice to one's needs/beliefs -, revivalism is much more flexible on that bit.

For example: a modern Gaulish polytheist who considers themselves a revivalist might decide to fill the gaps given by the little - and biased - resources on their practice by adding their own UPG to what is already historically attested.

Just because revivalism accepts UPG and SPG, it doesn't mean that it is a less-demanding approach than reconstructionism. In fact, it does require the same amount of research and of digging into academic and primary texts. Revivalism is about *adapting* an historical practice; it is not about eradicating it from its original historical and/or cultural context, which has to be researched nonetheless. One could say that revivalists want to reconstruct ancient practices as if they were never destroyed in the first place, taking into account the evolutions such practices would have gone through in the contemporary world. Thus, using one of the examples above, if I am a revivalist I am not practicing Hellenic polytheism as a 3rd century BCE polytheist would have, but I am practicing it as a potential 2024 Hellenic polytheist would have after all of the probable changes religion could have gone through.

To better explain the difference between reconstructionism and revivalism: Roman deities used to be offered incense and wine. If I were to use a reconstructionist approach, I might want to stick to these offerings as they are two of the few offerings that are historically attested. If I were to use a revivalist approach, I might prefer using incense or wine, but I could opt for a strawberry beverage from time to time.

*Shared Personal Gnosis: a belief that is not backed up by mythos and is exclusively theorized/recognised by a group of practitioners.

Conclusion

I personally, to this day, do not know whether to consider myself a reconstructionist or a revivalist. That is because, depending on the pagan community you're interacting with, the "requirements" to label yourself as reconstructionist or revivalist might change - and this is something I already mentioned in the foreword. What I - and the other contributors - tried to do is give you some very broad guidelines in order to let you establish whether you fall under one or the other category.

If you do not find any of these two approaches fitting for you, there is no need to worry: as I stated in the foreword, we are talking about a spectrum. Some people lean towards one of the two extremes of this spectrum and there might be people who find themselves outside of it, which is valid nonetheless.

This being said, I thank you all for reading this blog. Let me know in the comments whether you describe yourself as a reconstructionist, a revivalist or something else entirely!

Wish you a pleasant day/evening/night.

The Silly Sybil

Resources

Informative

¹ Dr. Angela Puca's video on paganism

² Dead's post on UPG and SPG

Paintings

¹ "Priestess of Delphi" by John Collier

² "Magic Circle" by John William Waterhouse

³ "Roman Woman Lighing a Lamp at the Home Altar" by Stephan Wladilawowitsch Bakalowicz