#Her best just doesn't measure up to everyone elses though.

[syrupfog]

Maybe in another world the poison Sanji’s mum took didn’t work on Sanji, or at least not in the same way. 

A child with black hair and dull eyes, and like his brothers he’s made to be a solider who follows orders. 

The difference is that he follows his mum’s instead of Judge’s. 

She’s distraught that the poison wasn’t enough, but she raises Sanji as best she can to be someone free, even if he can’t really be. 

He learns to cook because she asks him to (she wonders if she’s fooling herself when she sees just a glimmer of excitement in his dull eyes).

He guards her like a dog as she grows sick, this six year old who can’t even see over the counters. But he’s strong and can fight and all he knows is that what his mum says is what he does. 

And when she’s dying, she tells him to run. Says whatever happens, get away from Judge.

And when she dies, that’s what he does. Because he’s an emotionless machine, but he’s following her orders. She told him to be free from Germa, and to seek friends. He doesn’t understand the second part (“friends are a weakness” Judge had said) so he ignores it, but he goes.

He finds the Orbit at age seven and he already has cooking skills (and he’s super powered— he’s good at what he does). They’re creeped out by him, most of the cooks just try to ignore him or slink around him, this terrifying little kid who can dice hundreds of onions in an hour.

He doesn’t interact with them either— his mum said to be free, and he assumes this is “free”. He assumes these aren’t “friends”, at least they’re not like in the books she read him. No one has fought for him or offered to share their things with him, so these must not be them.

And then, of course, the Orbit is hit by pirates, and then hits a storm. Sanji ends up stranded with Zeff on that cliff. Why’d Zeff save him? Maybe it was the way he stood emotionless in front of him with those dead eyes. Said he had to get back to cooking like nothing mattered.

Maybe it was the way everyone else looked at him like they were scared of him, this little ten year old unaware of his effect. 

Maybe it was the almost imperceptible way he flinched when another cook came near him, like he was waiting for the next attack. 

It doesn’t matter now.

What matters is that Sanji’s on the island with Zeff and they’re starving, but Zeff gives him food. Zeff loses his leg for Sanji. These things are adding up, Sanji thinks this might be what his mum wanted him to find. 

He’s not sure. 

Uncertainty doesn’t fit well with him.

But his mum said to find a friend and Zeff fits what he knows, so he devotes himself like a soldier. When they get off the island, Zeff can’t get rid of him no matter what he tries (he doesn’t try too hard). 

They get a restaurant. 

Sanji works like a machine in the kitchens.

Zeff puts him on food prep for years and Sanji does it without complaint. No one is as good as him at finely dicing, at weighing and measuring to the letter. He even does the dishes when they’re behind, and only breaks one before he figures out not to grip with all his strength.

Zeff makes him a full fledged chef at fifteen. 

He always feels a little… conflicted about making Sanji work. The boy doesn’t have friends and doesn’t seem to desire them. He doesn’t have emotions. It feels wrong to make him work when he doesn't have the fight to object.

But Sanji’s his responsibility for some reason, and he’s accepted that. 

And once, just once, when Sanji is seventeen, Judge comes down in the middle of the night to find a full five course meal prepared. It’s nothing the Baratie makes. It smells of unfamiliar lands.

He doesn’t mention it to Sanji, and there’s no trace of it the next day. 

He wonders, though. 

When Sanji is nineteen, Luffy arrives with a cannonball through the wall. 

Zeff’s not too happy about that, but Sanji’s on red alert. He goes after Luffy with a vengeance.

Because that’s ZEFF, and if Sanji knows one thing it’s that he has to PROTECT ZEFF. 

Luffy’s enamoured with him immediately. He wants Sanji. He wants this man who cooks and fights with his feet (Zeff taught him that, Sanji added it to the rules— no hands, be free, find friends).

Sanji’s dull eyes barely blink as he tells Luffy no, that he’s here for Zeff. 

But then Luffy says the magic words. 

He introduces Sanji (who stopped fighting at Zeff’s directive) to his crew and says, “this is my new friend Sanji! He’s going to be our cook!”

It’s confusing in a way few things are. Sanji lives in black and white— but Luffy says they’re *friends*. His mum told him to find friends. But he can’t leave Zeff, who is also a friend. 

Sanji stumbles a little. 

And then the green haired swordsman mocks him for it. The smallest flame of anger lights in his belly, a single momentary spark. 

But that doesn’t matter because right now in this moment Sanji is processing having TWO friends. 

That processing comes to a halt when Zeff yells at him to leave. 

It’s simple again. 

He follows orders.

He joins the Straw Hats. 

He cooks. 

He fights. 

Luffy talks all the time about being free, and Sanji doesn’t get it but he figures Luffy will tell him when they manage to become “the most free”, something he has no metric of.

Also, Zoro is there. 

Zoro is a complication. Sanji’s not sure if he’s friends with everyone or just with Luffy. He THINKS it’s everyone. He doesn’t like living in greys. 

And Zoro likes to fight. 

He tries to rile Sanji up, every time. Makes comments about his food or eyebrows.

Sometimes it… well it doesn’t *work* but it makes that little spark hit deep inside of him again, and for a split second the world is brighter. And then it’s gone. 

Then Zoro pulls out his swords, which means they’re sparring, and Sanji is good at sparring.

They add more crew members. They go from island to island. Sanji protects his friends because that’s what he’s supposed to do, and he cooks, because he’s supposed to. 

And then some time around Water 7 he starts to dream. 

He’s never dreamed before.

He dreams of his mum and her warm smile. He dreams of his sister and her complicated expressions that he could never understand. 

He dreams of Zoro and the grin that stretches over his face and the way his earrings dance. 

He doesn’t get it. There’s no point to dreams.

What does it, what finally lights the spark inside of him, is Thriller Bark. It’s “nothing happened”. Zoro pushes him out of the way, stops him from doing the one thing he’s MADE to do, and then Sanji wakes up and realises what’s happened. 

And a whirlwind alights inside of him.

The world has colors and depth it didn’t before, as he’s flooded with ANGER, that Zoro would do that, WORRY, that Zoro won’t make it, PAIN and HEARTBREAK for his mum, and a new sort of loyalty, deep and unending, for his crew. 

He watches Zoro sleep as he processes.

And when Zoro finally wakes, when that worry abates a little, he YELLS at him. SCREAMS that he was a SELFISH ASSHOLE and HOW DARE HE and he’s IMPORTANT. 

And through it all, Zoro stares at him, wide eyed and probably high on pain meds.

And then, when Sanji finally exhausts himself, Zoro grins. That same grin from Sanji’s dreams, and he says, “I knew you’d make it.” 

Which is DUMB and makes Sanji EVEN MORE MAD because what does that fucking MEAN and he YELLS SOME MORE and by that time all the Straw Hats have gathered in shock outside the infirmary door. 

“Welcome to the crew, Curls,” Zoro says and Sanji wants to KICK HIM but he’s on death’s door already and Sanji knows how strong he is. 

So instead he collapses onto him and weeps, his emotions a confusing mess inside of him.

And eventually the door creaks open and Chopper slips in because he HAS to check Zoro’s vitals and then Luffy BOUNDS in and wraps his arms around Sanji and says “SANJI, MAKE ME MEAT” and Sanji SNAPS that he’s BUSY and Luffy LAUGHS and says “Okay but AFTER YOU’RE BUSY, MEAT.”

And later that night, after he’s made a MISTAKE in the kitchen because he got EMOTIONAL chopping vegetables, he sits in the infirmary again, forcing Zoro to drink broth. And he says, “I don’t know what happened. It’s like there’s too much of me inside me now.”

And Zoro says yeah. “That’s what living feels like,” he says. 

“I don’t like it,” says Sanji. 

“You ever disliked something before?” 

“No.” 

“Then congratulations.” 

Then Zoro reaches out and grabs his hand. His grip is weak still, shaking.

He says, “this is the point. You have to find things to live for, now.” 

And Sanji thinks. “I’m supposed to live for friends,” he says. “And freedom.” 

“The you’re on the right ship,” Zoro says. “What else?” 

And Sanji remembers a book his mum used to read. A long time ago.

“Have you heard of the All Blue?”

[hiramaris]

Kiss it Off Me

CHAPTER 5

Chapter Summary:

The farmer have the knack to be in the right place at the right time. And apparently, Haley just happens to be there— All the time.

Pairings: Haley x Fem!farmer

Disclaimer:  I do not own Stardew Valley or any of the related characters. Stardew Valley is created by and owned by ConcernedApe. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the original Stardew Valley story belong to ConcernedApe.

Warning: alcohol

Gif by  LoucoMarx's Artwork

If anyone told Haley she'd grown fond of you at the beginning of the year, she'd probably laugh at their faces. 

It's weird.

How you become a constant presence in her life right now that it would be weird not to see you even once a day.

It had been apparently a routine for you, and unfortunately (fortunate) for her, that you'd drop by the 2 Willow Lane every morning as long as it's beyond 8am to have breakfast with them.

Emily is more than willing to accommodate you, saying along the lines "Haley's a little calmer when you're around, Y/n/n."

Ridiculous.

Of course Haley had to be on her best behavior. You didn't need to see her and Emily squabble for the second time around. That would be embarrassing.

Well... that's what she likes to think. What she allows herself to think.

Because why else would you even stick around with someone as mean as her and give her all these gifts?

And why the hell is Haley even putting up with this?

She'd like to think it's because you want to get something from her. Let's say an ulterior motive.

But deep down she knows it's simply because you're just nice. 

At first, you looked like you're trying a little too hard to be liked by everyone else. Why else would you give almost everyone gifts instead of actually selling them and make profit? It just doesn't make sense. 

But the moment Haley experienced your kindness firsthand, she knew to herself that there's really no other ulterior motive behind all the easy smiles and gifts you were giving Haley.

So, even though she tried not to like it, she found herself actively looking for your presence.

Luckily for her, it just so happens the farmer also have the knack to be in the right place at the right time. 

Surprisingly this time, Haley doesn't seem to mind.

Spring 17

This damn thing.

Haley let out an exasperated sigh as she stared at the stubborn jar in front of her, glaring it with such hatred she hoped it might open itself from the pressure. Her hands were already starting to hurt from trying to twist the lid open.

Can't she have a break? She just wants to cook breakfast today since Emily's out and all, and Haley can finally show you some of her cooking skills at home.

Yeah, sure she can be absolutely lazy with household chores but cooking is actually something she loved to do.

"Come on, just open already!" she exclaimed through gritted teeth.

Haley tried to use all her strength to open the jar, letting out a loud grunt as she felt her palms tingle with pain. But no matter how hard she tried, the stupid lid just wouldn't budge.

She was so busy trying to open the damn thing that she didn't noticed your presence behind her with an amused grin plastered all over your face, clearly finding humor at her antics.

"You need some help?" you voiced out behind her.

"Ugh," a flash of surprise flickered on her eyes when she turned around and locked her eyes with you before her face morphed into a mock scowl. "How does it feel seeing me in pain?"

You chuckled at her exaggeration. "Aw, does the baby needs help?" 

"Hmp." She squinted her eyes at that. "I was about to cook breakfast for us but now I don't feel like doing it."

She crossed her arms in mock anger for good measure.

How dare she calls her baby? And for the wrong reasons, too! 

The nerve!

"Alright, alright, miss sassy pants. Come here," Haley's frustration quickly turned into surprise as she felt you tugged her by the loop of her belt, pulling her close to your body. The heat that radiates from your skin ignites a fire in Haley's belly.

You reached over and snatched the jar out of Haley's grip, flicking it open with a simple twist of your wrist. You then swiftly returned it to Haley's hand and gave her a look that could only be described as smug.

"Piece of cake," you bragged with a grin.

Haley cleared her throat, masking her embarrassment as she playfully shoved you away. "Hmp. You're stronger than you look."

You narrowed your eyes at her, and Haley caught a mischievous glint in your gaze.

"What do you mean, 'stronger than I look'?" you retorted, a hint of challenge dripping in your voice. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, you know?"

"Oh, really now?"

As if to prove your point, you rolled up your sleeves up to your shoulders, flexing your muscles just long enough for Haley to appreciate how farm works definitely did wonders to your physiques, not that you weren't already toned before, but you're definitely becoming a little buffer.

Those farmer clothes just hid them all this time.

Haley's mouth went dry. "Y-yeah, yeah, show off."

It's amazing how Haley still manage to act like this when a simple act of flexing had her gotten her hot and bothered.

She's never been one to swoon over muscles before (Alex's muscle only made her gag most of the time), but there's something about the way you look right now that has her feeling all kinds of things.

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts of any impure ideas.

She didn't want to give you the satisfaction of stroking your already growing ego. Haley' sure that you are well aware of your effect on her, and if she let it show, you would only be so smug about it.

Sometimes, Haley regrets letting you be friends with Alex. Clearly, he's rubbing off you already.

"I wonder how many other ladies have been lucky enough to see that impressive display."

"How many are you?" you readily quipped.

Haley suddenly choked on her own spit as heat rose to her cheeks at your sudden boldness. (What the hell? What the what?)

"I'm gonna hit you," Haley threatened half-heartedly as she tried to regain her composure (and dignity.)

She has to make this stop or else everything will be too much for her. Which was a frequent occurrence nowadays when you're near her.

"Okay, okay!" you barked out a laugh, seemingly oblivious to your effect on Haley, much to her relief. "I'll help you cook, alright?"

"Fine. But you're going to boil the pasta. You suck at making the sauce."

"Yeah, yeah, M'lady. Let's do it your way."

Yeah, you definitely had the knack to be in the right place at the right time. 

And probably say the right things at the least opportune time. 

Does Haley mind? 

Definitely not.

Spring 20

The Flower Festival is in four days, and Haley will be damned if she'd be anything but flawless.

Currently lounging on her couch, Haley was draped in a flimsy white towel, the only piece of cloth covering her body besides the face mask she had just applied, and a soft towel wrapped around her hair to soak up some excess water.

She had already finished exfoliating her body, scrubbing away all the stresses and strains of the past few days. Of course, she can't forget moisturizing, too. Despite her naturally flawless skin, it took loads of branded lotions, scrubs and moisturizers (so worth the money) to keep it this perfect.

In short, it's her pampering day.

Haley was a true believer in the power of self-care, and she spared no expense in ensuring that every inch of her body was pampered to perfection.

And she can't afford to be stressed today.

Surprisingly, the day went by without a hitch.

Emily's usual nagging was nothing more than a minor annoyance that she brushed off without a second thought. And Alex, bless his heart, had the good sense to steer clear the moment he laid eyes on her with her bag of beauty essentials in tow.

He's also been kind enough to pass the message to you. Saying he'll just ask you to play ball with him or whatever to keep you busy earlier that morning.

Nothing, she repeats, nothing could ruin this nigh—

Her phone ringing was absolutely the least she expected to hear.

She was tempted to not answer, assuming it will be Emily on the other line. She doesn't call often during her shift, but if she does, she would occasionally ask Haley to bring either her apron or her shoes.

So, Haley's a little bit apprehensive about answering.

There's no way she's gonna be waltzing around outside just to give Emily her damn apron when she just finished her self-care!

Curiosity got the best of her though. With a deep breath, she swiped the answer button, hesitantly bringing the device to her ear.

"What?" she snapped, a little irritated at the interruption.

"Thank Yoba you answered. I was beginning to think you wouldn't." Emily babbled on the other line.

"Just spit it out, Em."

"Um," Haley can hear her hesitation. "Y/n/n's a little out of it and I kind of need help to get her home."

Haley sat a little bit straight at the mention of your name. "What do you mean she's out of it?"

"She's drunk."

For the love of Yoba—

What the hell are you thinking getting your ass drunk like that?

"Hay, are you still there?"

Haley has to literally calm herself down before speaking again. "I'm sorry but I can't. I just finished applying my face mask!"

"I see, I just thought since you're close with her and all..." Emily sounded a bit disappointed but didn't pushed it further. "I may just have to ask Penny to get her hom—"

"Be there in 5," was all Haley said before going to her room to get dressed.

She's going to kill you.

****

In no time at all, Haley arrived at the Saloon in her pajamas, hair damped and bare faced and everything. 

She saw Emily waiting outside, a visibly worried expression etched on her face. "Where is she?" Haley asked, her tone urgent.

Emily motioned towards the Saloon's door. "She's inside."

Normally, Haley wouldn't be caught alive inside her sister's workplace but that's the least of her concerns right now. "What the hell happened?"

"Since it was Shane's birthday and all. Y/n/n kind of bet with him who could drink the most beer without getting drunk. Safe to say no one won, huh?" Emily had the audacity to sound so sheepish. 

Haley nodded absentmindedly and took a deep breath before pushing open the door.

Sure enough, you were there, slumped over the bar with a couple of empty bottle of beer beside her. Shane's there too, but he's unconscious on the floor with Marnie trying her absolute best to wake her nephew up. 

Haley wanted to be mad at you. You literally made Haley walked across town with nothing but her pajamas! She also never go out without makeup and especially when she has just finished her skin care!

But what the hell.

Her heart could only flutter at the sight. How can someone be an idiot and cute at the same time?

She strode over to you and placed a hand on your back, careful not to startle you. "Y/n, come on. Let's get you home," she chided softly.

You groaned softly, lifting your head slightly at the sound of her voice, your eyes bloodshot and unfocused. "Hay..? Is that you..?"

"Yeah, it's me," Haley answered, helping you to your feet. She took your arm and wrapped them around her shoulder, while her other arm secured its place on your waist to keep youfrom falling. "Come on, let's go."

Having the inability to stand by yourself, Haley found you leaning almost half of your weight on her.

Yoba, you're quite heavy. 

"You smell geurd..." you slurred more.

Haley tried to fight herself from flushing at the comment. It did not help that your face is practically buried at the side of her neck.

"I know," Haley tried to retort. "And you smell like beer." She wrinkled her nose in mock disgust.

On the contrary, you actually smelled like freshly picked lemons and mint apart from the subtle scent of beer. It seemed that you prepared for this occasion and showered accordingly.

Haley briefly nods in approval. You didn't smell as bad as she expected, you weren't even sweaty, too compared to Shane here.

Haley stole a quick glance at him, noting his unruly stubble, tattered hoodie, and unkempt hair.

It was evident he hadn't exactly prioritized cleanliness lately. Haley couldn't help but be grateful that you were the complete opposite. But she decided not to dwell on it. After all, it was Shane's birthday, and he was entitled to be himself, even if it meant being his usual slightly musty, emo self.

"Even in my prime years I wasn't able to drink that much beer!" Pam cackled at the background, catching Haley's attention. She's clearly only tipsy despite the massive number of empty bottles in front of her. "Kids these days, really." She shook her head before turning to Emily. "Kid, can you give me some more mead?"

"Sure, Pam." Emily looks at Haley apologetically. "Sis, can you—"

"I got it. It's okay."

Leah, who had been eyeing them from the table decided to make her way towards them. "Do you need help?" before adding jokingly, "I didn't know Y/n/n was a drinker."

"Well, at least she's a lot calmer than Pam." Gus chimes in. "And a whole lot lesser violent than Shane here." He added as he eyed Shane on the floor with a couple of empty bottles beside him. Marnie is still trying to wake him up.

Haley raised an immaculate brow.

If Leah wanted to help maybe it would have been useful a couple of hours ago if she stopped this dungus from doing a stupid bet. Haley didn't dare say that though, and bit her tongue to stop saying something foul, instead, she opted with a strained, "thanks, but I got this." 

"You sur—"

The door of the Saloon swung open once again, and another redhead came straight to them. "What happened?" Penny asked in urgent. She's clad in her pajamas as well and her usually immaculate hair was down, which tells she's also ready for bed. "Mom called that Y/n/n was dru—"

"Kiddo, you're here!" Pam cheered loudly, Gus can only grimace at her antics. "I was just saying here that Y/n definitely won the bet!"

"Mom..." Penny sighed. "You should have stopped her. Y/n has work tomorrow."

"Hmp. It wouldn't hurt to have fun. Let the kid get loose a little. She's already been working hard."

Knowing it's no use to argue with her drunk mom. Penny turned to Haley, giving her a polite smile. "Do you need help taking her home?"

"Yeah!" Leah agreed beside her. "My cabin's near her farm, it would be no problem at all."

Haley tries to mask the sudden annoyance she feels at the women in front of her, and as well as the struggle she's feeling under the weight of the farmer. But she stood her ground stubbornly. She fakes a smile. "I got this."

"Are you s—"

"I got this." She repeated, this time firmly.

****

She definitely did not got this. 

You were thoughtful enough to stay still while Haley guided you out of the Saloon. But once they took a turn near 2 Willow Lane, the farmer started wriggling against her grasp.

"W-where... we going..?" you asked, slurring. 

"I'm taking you home," Haley replied in between grunts. 

What the hell is she even thinking?

She should have accepted Penny's help— hell, even Leah's help would be also appreciated but Haley just didn't like the idea of having those two around you.

Yeah, she knew you're friends with these two girls but Emily called her first, right? Never mind that she declined it first but Haley didn't want to be a bad friend letting you slumped all night long over that greasy bar. 

"Yoba, just how many beers did you drink? Surely, you're not that much of a lightweight."

You narrowed your eyes at her, holding up three fingers, "I had 9. Shane I think..." you held out a finger to her chin, "had 7."

Haley couldn't help but snort in amusement. "I'm pretty sure I'm not that dumb to count 3 on your fingers."

"It's 3 times 3." 

"Yeah, sure."

"Yeah! And I'm completely sober," you declared, as if your words alone were enough proof. But your actions told a different story, as you stumbled once again, prompting Haley to exclaim, "stay still, you dungus!"  before you manage to free yourself away from Haley's arms. "See?" 

"Clearly." Haley answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she approached you. You were swaying dangerously and on the verge of collapsing over Marnie's fence.

"Oops—" You flashed a stupid grin as Haley caught you just in time, preventing you from face-planting into one of the feces of Marnie's cows. "Thanks, babe."

Haley almost dropped you at the unexpected endearment.

Her cheeks flushed deeply, and she internally debated whether to abandon you here or let her own remaining shreds of dignity vanish into the night.

She coughed awkwardly, trying to regain her composure. "Wow, you sure are flirty tonight. You sure you're sober?" 

"I don't know," You answered truthfully, sounding strangely sober. You came to a halt, causing Haley to stop as well. "The only time I allow myself to be this close to you without my heart pounding in my chest is in the reality I've created in my dreams. So, tell me, Haley..."

Under the moonlight, your eyes held an intensity and softness that seemed almost impossible.

"Am I sober, or is this just a dream?"

****

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Notes:

I absolutely adore all those who left some comments from the past chapters. Thank you so much!

Alsooooo, I know it's a bit overdue buuuut

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K LIKES AND 100 FOLLOWERS! I didn't really expect this account to blow up like this but I really, really appreciate you guys and your patience for me.

I am so sorry for the delays as well. I just have a lot of things happening at the same time, you know, with uni and everything.

And I feel like I owe you guys a chapter. So here ya go!

[hauntdoesthings]

let's talk about: Husk

Husk is a character that I see a lot of love for, but not a lot of discussion about, at least not the same way we talk about Angel Dust or Alastor, so I'd like to start the conversation since I've noticed certain details about him during a rewatch.

How He Socializes

Husk puts it best himself; "Everybody likes to bitch to the bartender." He knows more about everyone than anyone else, whether they tell him or not. Not only is he the one people turn to vent to at their lowest, he has incredible skill at reading others. It's most likely something he picked up as a gambler, but we can see he still utilizes it to read the other residents, like knowing Angel shouldn't be getting drunk after his long shift and realizing when he's masking right afterwards.

On the other hand, reading people like this doesn't seem to fit with his character in earlier episodes. In the first episodes, Husk makes it very clear he doesn't want to at the hotel and by extension doesn't want to be around the residents. His first line is literally about how he's forced to be there and pretty much all of his screen time is spent being anywhere from unfriendly to outright aggressive towards the rest of the cast. He surely doesn't care enough to read people to get closer to them, so why does he? I believe it's either a subconscious behavior or possibly as a defensive measure. Like in a poker game, he reads his "opponents" to stay ahead of them while keeping his own cards close to his chest.

It's already clear Husk values his boundaries when watching his earlier interactions with Angel, but this combined with other behaviors makes me think he's a very defensive person in general. His body language is constantly closed off, often crossing his arms or physically being separated from others behind the bar. This could just be indicative of his surly personality, but there is a specific behavior makes me think more of it. During my rewatch for this post, I realized Husk has a tendency to hug himself during certain moments of discomfort, like the entire first trust exercise in episode 3(more on that later), and during his first argument with Angel in episode 4, he actually shields himself with his wings when AD insults him before leaving.

Speaking of, episode 4 is really a great example of how Husk view others, especially since this is when his mindset finally shifts.

It's easy to see how dismissive Husk is of AD during this episode, with his constant reiterations of how "fake" he is and even saying that he'll be fine after running out despite knowing that he's had a hard night. Looking a little closer at his mannerisms though, it's clear that he cares more than he wants to let on. He insults the scripts and setting of AD's video rather than his acting and even says that that's specifically what Angel tends to complain about. Even when Valentino sudden calls up AD, Husk's face is more upset than "I told ya so." He realizes that Angel is unhappy with his work, but at the same time, he doesn't think too deeply about it.

Husk assumes that because everyone tends to spills their guts to him while drinking, he knows all he needs to about them, and he's correct to a certain degree; however, despite everything he knows, he doesn't appear to think too deeply beyond what he can easily glean. Charlie wants to help others so she doesn't have to help herself, Vaggie projects her self-hatred and high standards onto those around her, and Angel bullshits his way through everything because he's an actor who doesn't know how to be real. Husk realizes these things easily, but not why the others are this way, and it especially shows during his confrontation with AD, as when Angel finally snaps and reveals his true motives, Husk is visually taken aback.

He's so used to knowing and analyzing people easily that this sudden, truly heartfelt moment from Angel makes him rethink how he's been going about their interactions, how he's been thinking of him this whole time. And this is the moment that makes him decide to open up about his own past. Whether it was seeing that common thread between himself and Angel or possibly a realization that he won't accept help from someone who doesn't offer any input of their own, this is the first time we really see him offer any of his private, personal life, and afterwards, there's an obvious shift in how he treats Angel and everyone else.

"Loser Baby" is the first time we see Husk willingly initiate physical contact onscreen when he's always be visibly tense and uncomfortable at even most mentions of it, though most of that was AD being suggestive so it could be an issue with sexual intimacy than physical. He's comfortable enough in episode 6 to go clubbing with the group and genuinely looks like he's enjoying himself, especially compared to when he went to keep an eye on Angel in episode 4, even helping look out for Niffty when needed and supporting Angel after standing up to Valentino. In the lead-up to the Extermination, there's not a single insinuation that he would've left the hotel, choice or not, and he is with the rest of the cast during all the important moments of the battle, from Sir Pentious' death to the ending number. Even when Alastor is presumed dead, even if he assumed Alastor wasn't really gone, Husk could've easily run off during his absence, but he sticks around to help rebuild, undeniably of his volition, wanting to help his friends and possible family.

That note also brings me to something I've really been wanting to talk about:

Husk and Alastor

Unless we see a shift or get new knowledge about Nifty, Alastor and Husk have a really unique relationship both in theory and as evidenced. Husk is a former Overlord, presumably from before Alastor's rise if he was willing to bet his soul in a game with him. This opens up a lot of questions for me, mainly about what their bet entailed, what led Husk to making it in the first place, and if there's a certain respect between them. Yes, Alastor refers to Husk as his "pet," but Husk also comes to him with his suspicions about Mimsy and it can almost be read as worry. Alastor even responds that "it's nothing [he] can't handle." There has to be a certain level of trust for someone to bring up "hey, that friend you've known for decades only ever comes to you when they need something" and have their concerns taken seriously, even if Alastor's care for others is negligible at best. This whole scene seems to be showing that despite their deal, their past as equals has not been totally forgotten by either of them, leading to a certain understanding of each other that neither, particularly Alastor, have had with anyone else up until now.

The biggest reason I bring their relationship up though is Alastor's deal. With all we've seen, I believe Husk is the one character besides Alastor himself and whoever the other party is that knows about the deal and its possible connection to Alastor's disappearance.

For one, Husk is the one that confirms Alastor is "on a leash" in the first place, and he shows no surprise that Husk knows. Alastor is definitely not the kind of person to let anyone know about something like that no matter how close they are, so this makes me think either Husk had to know or that he was possibly there during the deal.

It also stands out to me the specific phrasing that Husk and Alastor use during the scene.

"You've been gone a long time, and it's not like anybody knows why." "They don't need to know!"

This kind of phrasing makes it feel like Husk is specifically being excluded from that group by both himself and Alastor. If it's true that Alastor's deal is the reason he disappeared, then Husk knowing about both the deal and why Alastor's been gone lines up perfectly. Maybe Husk will be the one to reveal more about this to the audience or even the rest of the cast later on, but it's clear that he does know more than anyone not directly involved and at this moment is the most likely to talk about it, assuming Alastor doesn't immediately tear him a new one for it.

Little Details

Last section, I promise. This is just some little details I noticed while rewatching for this that didn't really fit in anywhere else and questions/speculation about them.

Remember how I mentioned Husk hugging himself earlier? The first time I noticed this was during episode 3 when, after seeing the stage, he declares "I'm not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps." Not sure how much of everyone's backstory is still canon, but it was stated that Husk was a magician during his life, so maybe this is hinting that he has some stage-related baggage?

Also during episode 3, we see Husk sneak down the stairs before Vaggie can toss him off the roof in the warzone, and since he didn't come back up with Angel and Pentious, he presumably left before they made it out. However, at the end of the episode, he's laughing with everyone over the events of it. He comments that SP can "take a beating like a champ" and "you did ok, new kid," so was he just pretending like he was there or did he just hang out on the sidelines and watch? Husk wtf?

Husk specifically says that AD's video is "not a very convincing interrogation scene." Does Husk have experience?

When the bartender pours drinks for the gangster getting Angel a refill, Husk immediately watches the drinks themselves, before the guy even reaches for that little bottle. He's a bartender, he's probably seen too many people have their drinks fucked with to the point it's just an instinct now.

He was ready to square tf up when Valentino hit Angel, but waited until Angel walked away instead of jumping in like in episode 4. He really does trust him to take care of himself and was ready to back up whatever he did.

During "The Show Must Go On," it's minor, but Husk actually tucks his wings around the group hug and it's aasfjkdsajfd

For those who've made it this far, thank you so much for listening to my overthinking and ramblings. Please feel free to ask about anything incoherent, add on to anything, or point out things I missed, I'd just really love to get the discussion started on some of these things!

[ataraxiaspainting]

Hi, thanks for sending te rules ^^. For the request, can I please have yan mermaid Ruan Mei x fem human reader one shot? Basically, Ruan Mei meets a human and she find them interesting, but later discovers that the reader is dating. So Ruan Mei decides why not to kidnap her future darling.

please ruan mei is so pretty...... I CAN FIX HER GUYS!!

Birth of Venus.

Yan (Mermaid) Ruan Mei x F Reader.

Synopsis: Legends say the ocean’s waters are salty because of the tears of mermaids.

Warnings: Yandere themes and kidnapping.

Word Count: 700.

*~*~*~*

Upon catching sight of you for the first time, she finds herself at a loss for thoughts and emotions.

For her to lose sight of the former is as rare as her finding something not covered in rust and fading away with age on the bottom of the ocean floor. But, like those priceless moments, with her fingers gliding above and beneath a small mountain of gold coins in a treasure chest she spent more than a day trying to unlock, she could not bear herself to let go, to let something so precious go to waste. Time is of the essence though, because as much as she wants to simply take you beneath the waters with her hands, the scales on them never scarred with the color purer than that of the sky above you both, she has to wait for the right time, for everything to be set up accordingly. It is what she does best, after all, planning and soon discarding everything that provides little value to her, and perhaps soon to you, because, in the end, it is not uncommon for her to lose her emotions. They hold no significance at present or in the future, and she will release them once more in her quest for everything she desires. Thus, she patiently waits, concealed beneath the water, listening to the gentle sound of your footsteps on the sand and the joyful exclamations that escape your lips whenever you discover another seashell she intentionally left on the shoreline for you.

Everything and everyone she encounters, regardless of whether they are from the sea or the land above, bow down to her and her radiance, even creatures similar to her both in physique and intellectual prowess. She hopes the same will be what you do too, but she does not. Despite how ironic it sounds, you are the breath of fresh air she never had. She desires for you to remain unchanged, even if she resorts to preserving you as ice submerged deep beneath the ocean, thus ensuring your eternal presence. Nevertheless, she sincerely hopes this extreme measure will never be necessary.

She will try her best to ensure such.

Despite her emotions being minuscule, barely the size of a single caviar bead, she finds herself unable to articulate this indescribable sensation that threatens to overwhelm all logic she has.

Because when she caught sight of you for what felt like the hundredth time, she saw you kiss someone else by the shoreline, next to the special shell she obtained after hours upon hours of searching just for you.

For what felt like the first time in all her life, she felt sorrow, then anger, and hate. Her emotions finally gave way after all these months of observing you from afar, and tears gave way. But she doesn't know what to do now. All planning, what she has always been good at, along with her logic, which she also has been exemplary at, has all been washed away by the tides of fear, envy, and sadness. After what felt like an eternity of weeping over her loss, making the seawater get even saltier because of her tears, she concluded. She must act now, or you will be forever out of her grasp. She needs to take immediate action to regain her rationality and control her emotions once more. Despite her love for you, Ruan Mei will always be self-centered, and this fundamental aspect of her character is unlikely to change, even if she desires it. It is simply a matter of time until everything reverts to its previous state.

So, as you venture near the coast, captivated by the enchanting melodies emerging from the sea, she springs into action. With astonishing speed, so swift that you won't perceive it until it's too late, she delivers a powerful blow and drags you under the waters, where you will stay forevermore.

[rubberduckyrye]

All right let's talk about what it means to Trick Someone because I'm full of Salt.

Here is the definition of "trick":

trick /trĭk/

noun

An act or procedure intended to achieve an end by deceptive or fraudulent means. synonym: wile. Similar: wile

A mischievous action; a prank. "likes to play tricks on the other students in the dorm."

A stupid, disgraceful, or childish act. "Don't let the kids pull any tricks while we're gone."

A peculiar trait or characteristic; a mannerism.

A peculiar event with unexpected, often deceptive results.

A deceptive or illusive appearance; an illusion. "This painting plays tricks on the eyes."

And for good measure, let's see what "fraudulent" means since I'm going to assume everyone here knows what "deception" means:

fraudulent /frô′jə-lənt/

adjective

Engaging in fraud; deceitful.

Characterized by, constituting, or gained by fraud. "fraudulent business practices."

Using fraud; tricky; deceitful; dishonest. Similar: tricky deceitful dishonest

So when people insist that Gonta was "tricked", they are trying to say he was fooled or deceived into Killing Miu. This, in turn, means that Gonta Must Not have Known what he was Doing, as being "tricked" into doing something means to be deceived. AKA, if he knew that Killing Miu was going to kill her, then he was not deceived, and thusly, not tricked.

Oh, but wait--

Alter Ego Gonta doesn't exclaim that he didn't know Miu had died, or that he didn't realize his actions would lead to Miu's death--He knew that his actions would kill her. He was surprised that his real self knew that he had murdered, and that surprised him, because Kokichi was supposed to take the fall for Gonta. They weren't SUPPOSED to know that Gonta killed Miu. That's why he's devastated/disappointed that they (He and Kokichi) failed.

To continue:

Gonta literally admits to killing Miu because he knew no one else wanted to. He knew that no one else would want to kill to Mass Mercy Kill the rest of the class, so he took that burden upon himself as a sort of twisted self-sacrifice.

I love how Kokichi spells it out that he told Gonta they should mercy kill everyone and yet this detail gets swept under the damn rug all the damn time--

But that is not the point so I am moving on

HUZZAH. The man himself, everyone.

Hmmmmmmm! Sure sounds like a motive rather than a deception if you ask me--

Gee this is sure awkward dialogue for a deception. Because it sounds like Gonta had the motive to kill everyone. Because he thought Hell was all around them, and living in hell sounded like a fate worse than death.

Interesting development here though:

"When I saw the flashback light my first thought was 'It would be easier to die'." That is what Gonta said before--and then he suggests that he had all of those other thoughts after that first thought--like that it's hell inside, it's hell outside, it would just be easier for them all to die, and this was BEFORE Kokichi even said a word to convince Gonta.

Gonta was already on the same damn page before Kokichi even spoke.

And when everyone was demanding Gonta to tell them the truth?

He did that all on his own. No influence from Kokichi. He said that he couldn't tell anyone the truth, because if he did, they they would all feel the horrible despair he was feeling.

Like if you hate Kokichi? Fine. If you can't stand him? Whatever.

But. Stop. Saying. He. Tricked. Gonta.

You are being ableist as FUCK and removing one of Gonta's best character development moments--of his kindness twisting and warping into a motive for murder.

Gonta is not a damn child. He knows what killing means. He knows that him killing Miu means she would fucking die. That was his aim! That was his GOAL! He wanted to kill Miu to mass mercy kill the class! He wanted to kill them all before they felt the same despair he and Kokichi felt!

Even if you don't believe me on Kokichi's motivation lining up with Gonta can you at LEAST acknowledge that Gonta is very blatantly talking about his own motivations and was convinced of this himself? That this was his motive to kill? That he is a tragic character who was so twisted by grief and despair that he thought death was the only salvation?

Can you like.

Consider this for one second? Please???

[genericpuff]

I really enjoyed seeing your last post!!! It reminded me of something else that I noticed when I was younger and not really seeing LO through the eyes I am now- even when I lived LO, I noticed that Minthe’s bust size.. Might’ve changed? (I could be remembering wrong, and I’m sorry if I am!) I didn’t think on it too much back then, but it felt a lot like the “she could never measure up to Persephone”, or the “she’s nothing to worry about when it comes to Persephone”!!

But then, when Minthe was supposed to be more of a “problem,” I noticed she’d get drawn with a larger bust- or at least larger than it had been back in the earliest episodes!

This could all make absolutely no sense, (and I apologize for just rambling in your askbox!), but I watching a character’s “worthiness” be portrayed through something as simple and neutral as their chest size stuck out to me then, and sticks out to me now!! 😓)

Oh don't apologize, you're literally pointing out exactly the things we've even talked about in the ULO community !

Literally here she is in S1:

And we even get a scene of her smooshing her boobs together in Episode 35 in an effort to make them seem bigger because she legit feels like Hades is pursuing the "new hotness" in the office based around their physical appearances:

But then she conveniently goes up like 3 cup sizes when it's time for her to be cemented as the villain and suffer her fate by getting turned into a plant?

I've literally seen fans grasp at straws to explain that maybe she got a boob job but then they don't realize that the story at this point has only been going on for like, 3-4 weeks at most. At best you shouldn't have to make those massive leaps to explain the inconsistent character body types. If Minthe really did get a boob job, don't you think that's something that should have been explained in the comic?

And let's be real, we all know what it's really about because it's just more of Rachel pitting women against women:

What's wild though is that Rachel is vastly misinterpreting a classic image here:

A lot of people look at that image of Jayne Mansfield and Sophia Loren and just immediately assume that Sophia is giving Jayne the stink eye over her outfit. And of course, we see this misinterpretation in Rachel's drawing that swaps Sophia and Jayne with Minthe and Persephone.

When in FACT what was actually going on was that Sophia spotted Jayne getting dangerously close to a wardrobe malfunction / nip slip and the camera just happened to catch her making a face that could be misinterpreted as slut-shaming.

"Yes, Paramount had organized a party for me. All of cinema was there, it was incredible. And then comes in Jayne Mansfield, the last one to come. For me, that was when it got amazing. She came right for my table. She knew everyone was watching. She sat down. And now, she was barely… Listen. Look at the picture. Where are my eyes? I'm staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate. In my face you can see the fear. I'm so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow—BOOM!—and spill all over the table."

Ans Sophia has actually stated that she doesn't like those misinterpretations and is trying to actively distance herself from it.

"Actually, many, many times I am given this photo to autograph it. And I never do. I don't want to have anything to do with that. And also out of respect for Jayne Mansfield because she's not with us anymore."

Jayne died in 1967, only living for about 30 years, and Sophia herself is actually still around. I can imagine how disheartening it is to see people still misinterpreting a photo of two friends and colleagues especially when it's through the lens of slut-shaming an accomplished actress who is unfortunately no longer with us.

Sooo yeah all that said, I'm less inclined to believe it was Minthe getting a boob job and more inclined to believe it was more of Rachel's weird internalized misogyny picking and choosing which women are "sluts" and which ones are "victims" for dressing or being built a certain way. It's really gross when you start to notice it.

People have also pointed out how odd it is that every single character who gets into a relationship or is in a relationship by S3 seemingly morphs into copies of Hades and Persephone, which is really just more of a testament to how lazy Rachel is in her character designs. In her head she's just trying Hades and Persephone all the time but different colors, I imagine at this point the H x P relationship is the only thing that she's interested in writing/drawing about (and even that's arguably hanging on by a thread because she couldn't even let their long-awaited wedding scene have real room to breathe) so it's almost like she's defaulting to just zoning out and drawing nothing but H x P and then having her assistants color them differently based on who it's actually supposed to be.

But I digress. The body shaming and slut shaming is definitely hard-baked into LO and how it portrays its characters. Despite Rachel having written an actual comic portraying sexism in the past, she still can't seem to express her ideas around sexism, to the point of, again, saying she "didn't know sexism was that bad" until she worked on LO. Like, girl... you drew a comic about sexism before LO, what are you talking about? Is this more of you not wanting to acknowledge ANY of the work you did prior to LO, or are you telling me you didn't intend for those older works to be interpreted as sexism???

"I feel like female characters in general, people will be a little harsher on them and sometimes way harsher on them, and I used to be like.. before I started writing the story and like making a story I was like yeah, sexism is not that bad, and [now] I was like oh it's bad. It's quite bad [laughs], so like, I don't know, I feel like the female characters in the story don't get so much of a pass. But this isn't consistent across the board, it's not all the time." - Rachel Smythe, Girl Wonder Podcast circa 2022

[georgeclarkesgf]

hey!! i love the way you write for george it’s so cute - could i request something where the reader is good friends with max and they’re all at a social event and george meets her for the first time and he gets a huge crush on her (maybe some teasing from his housemates) and then maybe a bit about how the relationship develops

all good if not!!! ty ❤️❤️

of course lovely! here you go <3

by the time you and max arrive at george's housewarming party, the sounds of laughter and music filling the air are in full swing. max can sense your nerves, and reassures you quickly with a side hug before dragging you to get a drink.

it was only your first week in london, having recently just moved, after much convincing from max. you'd been close friends with him for years. he knows how nervous you were about making such a big move, so when george mentioned the party, max knew this was the perfect opportunity to introduce you to everyone and make you feel more welcome.

after being handed a drink, you're pulled over to where george and grace are currently bickering about a tiktok they saw. grace is the first to spot you both, getting up and giving max a hug before introducing herself.

"hi babe! you must be y/n," you nod, returning her hug, "max mentioned he was bringing someone. you want a drink?"

"uh, no i've just got one but thank you. let me know when you get another one and i'll join you though." you smile before she walks off.

"probably for the best, grace can't measure drinks for shit. i'm george by the way."

"i know," internally you cringe, not wanting to make yourself sound like a weird fan or stalker, "i mean because i watch the podcast, and max loves to talk about you."

max's jaw drops, and he playfully shoves your shoulder, "i do not!"

"yes, you do. don't lie."

as the night goes on and you gain confidence through the drinks you consume, you find yourself gravitating toward george. you'd been introduced to everyone, him having taken over from max at some point in the evening, wanting to spend as much time with you as possible despite only just meeting you.

chris and arthur, george's flatmates, notice the way his eyes follow you whenever you're talking to someone else or grabbing a drink, and decide to tease him.

"george," he gives a hum of acknowledgment, but his eyes never leave you, "you're staring."

"chris shut up. i'm not staring." he mumbles, quickly shifting his gaze to the phone in his hand.

it's a lie, of course he's staring. how could he not?

"so, you have a plan? or are you just gonna stare all night and hope that she'll magically become your girlfriend?" arthur teases making george roll his eyes.

ignoring the laughs from behind him, he walks over to where you and grace are and rests a hand on your lower back to gain your attention.

"hey, sorry to interrupt. can i steal you for a minute?"

"yea of course." you say, taking his hand as he leads you to somewhere more private.

his hands grow clammy as he closes his bedroom door and you notice how he won't meet your eye for longer than a couple of seconds at a time.

"george, are you okay?"

he shoves his hands in his pockets and finally meets your gaze, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves.

"sorry if this is too forward and i know we've just met but i was wondering if you'd wanna grab a drink some time? no pressure to say yes or anything."

the few seconds of silence are killing him before you nod your head with a grin on your face.

"i'd love to." you giggle and pull out your phone to get his number.

--------

the next few weeks you and george are barely apart, spending nearly every day together. his friends don't stop their teasing but he doesn't let it bother him. he's just happy with how well things are going.

the date had gone well, a local bar allowing you to get to know each other more in a relaxed environment. conversation between you both flowed easily, filling the space with laughter as you found out more about each other. it was evident by the end of the date that the feelings were mutual.

weeks turn into months, and everyone around you is glad you're both so happy and smitten with one another. george is constantly proving to be an incredible boyfriend, making sure you feel loved and appreciated, surprising you with random gifts or nights away.

one night, you're at george's flat for the weekly movie night that now happens. his arm is wrapped around your waist and you're curled into him, head on his shoulder.

"have we ever told you how thankful we are you adopted george as your rescue boyfriend?" arthur chuckles and george groans at the reminder of the infamous tweet, "means his whole personality can't be about being single."

"yea you've mentioned it once or twice," you laugh as george hides his face in your neck, blushing, "don't get embarrassed baby, you're my favourite rescue boyfriend."

his head shoots up and he cocks his eyebrow, "what do you mean your favourite? what other rescue boyfriends have you had?"

"never you mind, just watch the movie."

you push his head towards the tv but before you realise what's happening, george is mercilessly tickling you. a shriek of laughter escapes your lips.

"george! stop, i'm sorry!" you gasp, trying to pry his wrists away from your sides, but you're trapped underneath him.

watching the scene unfold in front of them, chris and arthur smile, feeling happy for george at him being so undoubtedly in love.

"okay, okay! i surrender! please stop!" your sides physically hurt from your uncontrollable laughing.

at last, george stops, gripping your hips instead and you're panting as you try to catch your breath.

"tell me i'm not a rescue boyfriend and that i'm actually the best boyfriend in the world." he demands, his voice a mix of mock sternness and affection.

"you're not a rescue boyfriend, you're actually the best boyfriend in the world. i love you." he dips his head, placing a kiss on your lips before you both sit up.

"i love you too." george repeats, letting you cuddle into his side again.

in your tickle fight, you both momentarily forget where you are until you hear arthur speak, "you two are so cute."

a look is shared between you and you both know there's nowhere else you'd rather be than in this moment.

[bhaalsdeepbat]

unhinged Durge & Orin thoughts

i'm just fascinated by Orin. she's the little sister seething with jealousy bc they're fighting over scraps of love from a Father (Bhaal) who will never give either of them what they deserve.

and like. Her entire life is lived in ways that are meant to serve him bc she was raised from birth in the church. She's an artist who focuses her artistic vision on her kills and the way she presents her offerings. It's looked down upon, even though Durge also plays with their corpses, but Durge is also daddy's special little bhaalspawn, and Orin knows it. Always compared to the golden child, never measuring up, until she finally bests her older sibling by savaging their skull.

Durge literally just waltzed one day and told them that Bhaal said it was their turn to lead the church, even though Orin had also been born and raised believing that was HER purpose. The rage when some little street rat comes in and starts shaking up the Church. AND EVERYONE LOVES DURGE. They all hate Orin, but everyone WORSHIPS Durge. Durge, who is imperfect, who wasn't raised living the doctrine the way Orin was, and introduces cannibalism (which Orin does not seem to approve)

so all that suffering being raised in the church doesn't even garner her favor with Bhaal or the other Bhaalists. she's not Durge. she'll never be Durge. she can take Durge out and make it so they have no choice to follow her, and the Bhaalists will out of loyalty to Bhaal, but they still dislike her. They miss their new age worship when she takes over.

Durge just constantly frustrated with their little sister's antics. Orin is too rash, she runs her mouth, and she doesn't appreciate death for what it is, she keeps trying to make pretty little arrangements when she should be focused on perfecting the art of dealing death in droves, numbers...like razing the grove or taking out last light inn. bhaal doesn't care if you play with the corpses if you have enough deaths under your belt to make it count, it seems.

Orin choosing to use the tadpole on Durge rather than just allowing them to die was absolutely out of spite. It traps Durge's essence so they cannot be reunited with their Beloved Father. So, Orin is resentful because Durge seems to just have Bhaal's love and favorism without going through any of the agony of being raised entirely in Bhaal's temple. Then you learn from balthazar that this is literally worse than death for durge, especially while they're being used as a living cadaver.

durge had 0 idea of the resentment, too. saravok says something along the lines of durge being blinded by pride & the love of everyone to the point of never even suspecting orin would have anything else but the same blind devotion.

and then durge and orin begin butting heads, as siblings do, but also added layer of bhaalspawn being fated to slay one another and like. i interpret it as their very essence screaming at them to slaughter their sibling bc the divine essence recognizes itself in that other being. just desperate to slay and release it.

also laughing bc orin was raised a traditional Bhaalist church girlie basically. she's christian girl autumn but make it murder

[miasmaghoul]

how about the best to the worst at eating pussy/rimming?

god i was SO hoping someone would ask about this specifically lets ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN GO

best to worst below the cut, as is tradition 😌

Swiss - CHAMPION. this ghoul could do nothing BUT eat for the rest of his time Above and he would not complain for a moment. his tongue is just as sharp when it's between someone's legs, and he's the only one that can lick an orgasm out of Cirrus. high praise, to be certain. he regularly rims Dew to the point of tears and has cum in his pants about it more than once.

Cumulus - she's a close second to Swiss, and Mountain says she has the devil's tongue. the others agree - whether it's Aurora sitting on her face or Aether on his back with his knees draw up, she can wring pleasure from them all in her own special way. she even has routines memorized for everyone - Sunshine likes her taint kissed, Aeon likes having his balls cradled, Dew wants his nipples toyed with while she licks - and she loves to take her time and have fun.

Dew - that warm mouth works wonders. he's a ghoul of two minds, depending on who he's with. sometimes he's aggressive, lots of sloppy kisses and wide passes over his tongue to drag desperate noises from Rain, Aurora, Sunshine or Aeon. other times he's measured and methodical, little kitten licks and gentle presses of his lips to warm up Aether, Cumulus or Mountain before he slides his tongue inside and makes their eyes roll back. Swiss only gets rimmed if they 69, and Dew does not go down on Cirrus unless it's with an ice cube in his mouth to temper the flame.

Mountain - slow, deliberate and thorough. Mountain always eats like he's sitting down to a nice meal, savoring every moment like he's been starved for it. it's lovely, of course, but sometimes it's A Lot - he'll lick until they cum and then for a while after, regardless of his partner's little yips of sensitivity. he praises them throughout, kisses their inner thighs and lower stomach, but he won't be stopping until he's done.

Rain - also slow and deliberate, but in a more torturous way. adores edging his partners with his mouth, licking and suckling and making a whole wet mess of them and himself until they're shaking and breathless and pleading. however, he almost never makes them cum like that - not that he can't, of COURSE he can, he just chooses not to. they don't cum until he does, unless he says otherwise.

Aether - he's good, very good, but Aether ranks lower because he is just such a sucker for eye contact and that can be hard to maintain with your face buried between someone's legs. he has to take regular breaks just to look at them, especially Dew and Cumulus. he's been banned from going down on Cirrus unless he's blindfolded so he doesn't get distracted. he would much rather be within kissing distance.

Sunshine - she's got the enthusiasm, but not the stamina. her jaw aches after just a few minutes, even when she rubs it with nice, warm hands in an effort to give m o r e. she loves the feeling of someone cumming around her tongue more than most anything else, though, so once she's sore she'll just wriggle it into their willing body and finish them off with her hands instead.

Cirrus - perfunctory placement once again as the only one Cirrus will go down on regularly is Cumulus - anyone else has to earn the privilege of her mouth. that's not to say she isn't good, far from it. she'll have Cumulus shaking and sweaty in no time, grabbing at the sheets and soaking her chin. Swiss is the only other one that gets her tongue with any sort of frequency, and that's only because she knows she can overstim him until he's on the brink of safewording out. it's a thrill.

Aurora - likes the reactions it gets, but really isn't the biggest fan of putting in the work. she's impatient, is what is comes down to. it wouldn't be difficult to learn the ins and outs of their bodies, to figure out what makes Mountain howl like a wounded animal or how to make Rain shudder like he's ill. all she would have to do is practice! and maybe one day she will - for now, though, the others will have to make do with the few minutes of lazy (though pleasant) licking they get before they ravish each other.

Aeon - oh, Aeon. poor, sweet Aeon. he tries, he really really tries, but no one has the heart to tell him that the drooling does him no favors. all it does is remove any friction and make a mess, and while it's true that that is less of an issue when a cock is involved, he's yet to discover that those skills are not transferable. he'll get there, though!

[south-of-heaven]

Poly judgement day Reacting to the reader being pregnant

Pregnant || The Judgement Day x Reader

Summary: Some slight confusion arises when you announce you're pregnant.

You took a deep breath, nervously clutching the pregnancy test in your hand as you entered the living room where Damian, Rhea, Dominik, and Finn were gathered. Your heart was pounding in your chest, unsure of how they would react to the life-changing news you were about to share.

"Hello, everyone," you began awkwardly, your voice shaking slightly. "I have something important to tell you all."

They all turned their attention to you, sensing the seriousness in your tone. Damian immediately noticed your anxious state and pulled you into a comforting hug, giving you the reassurance you needed to continue.

"I... I'm pregnant," you finally said, holding up the pregnancy test for them to see.

There was a moment of stunned silence before the room erupted into cheers and exclamations of joy. Damian pulled you even closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Rhea beamed with happiness, her eyes shining with tears of joy. Dominik, and even the stoic Finn, couldn't contain their excitement, surrounding you with hugs and congratulations.

"That's amazing, babe!" Rhea exclaimed, her smile widening. "We're going to be parents!"

"Yeah, we are," Damian replied, his voice filled with emotion as he placed a hand on your stomach, already feeling the connection to the tiny life growing inside you.

"I can't believe it," Dominik said, a mix of shock and happiness in his eyes. "I'm going to be a dad!"

Finn nodded, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "This is incredible!" He said, his voice a mix of happiness and disbelief.

As the excitement settled, a thought crossed Rhea's mind. "Wait, do we know who the father is?" she asked, looking at Damian, Finn and Dom.

You paused, blushing beet red, before speaking, "Well, there's a possibility that it could be either of them. We were all together around the time this could've happened."

The room fell quiet again, as they processed the information. However, it didn't take long for them to realize that it didn't really matter. What mattered was that they loved you, and they would love the baby just the same, regardless of who the biological father was.

Dominik spoke up first, a determined look in his eyes. "Honestly, it doesn't matter to me. I'll be here to support you and be the best dad I can be."

Finn and Damian nodded in agreement. "We'll figure it out together," Damian said, his voice full of love and support.

Rhea took your hand in hers, her gaze never leaving yours. "I love you, and I can't wait to be a mom with you. And if anyone tries to question our family, they can deal with me."

You couldn't help but smile at the unwavering love and support of your partners. In that moment, you knew that you were surrounded by a family that would always be there for you, no matter what. And as the months passed and your pregnancy progressed, they proved their love and dedication every step of the way.

The day you welcomed your baby into the world, the room was filled with even more love and joy. Damian, Rhea, Dominik, and Finn were there by your side, supporting you through every moment of labor.

As you held your precious bundle of joy in your arms for the first time, you knew that you were blessed beyond measure to have such an incredible and loving family. The question of who the biological father was became insignificant, even though the darker tan skin gave it away instantly. They all embraced the role of parents and doted on the little one with equal adoration.

Your heart was full, knowing that you were surrounded by so much love, and you couldn't have asked for a better group of partners to share this journey of parenthood with. As you looked around the room at the smiles on their faces, you knew that together, you could conquer anything life threw your way, with a love that was stronger than anything else.

[bambi-kinos]

McLennon male/female AU

So way back in June 2022, I was talking with some friends including @dovetailjoints about this Paul McCartney manip where his face was converted to a woman's:

I promptly lost my mind on account of being a huge d*ke so I started spinning up a McLennon m/f AU about it. I still think about it a lot but I also don't know if I'll ever write it or not. Looking at @erinarigby's beautiful rendering of John and Paula reminded me of it, so I am publishing these notes for the pleasure of the reading audience.

I might still return to it at some point but I am currently waist deep in my longfic and have different projects lined up after that.

John and Paula are at the fete together but Paula is being crowned the Rose Queen or whatever it was that was happening in the background. Her best friend is Dot and her closest guy friend is Ivan and she's too busy basking in the attention of winning a competition to give a single fuck about John Lennon. She already knows her worth so who gives a fuck about that guy? They do NOT have a fateful meeting at the church hall.

(The secret is that she quietly follows him on the bus and has his route memorized. Light stalking of the teenage girl kind and I bet Dot has been helping but they treat it as a big joke.)

Ivan and Len both know Paula from school before they went to gender segregated academies or whatever. Paula actually finishes her education here because her dad wants her to do it and I bet she would have been a daddy's girl through and through. Mike is still her little brother and she vacillates between doting on him and bullying him. (Older sisters can be really mean to their younger brothers, I've noticed.)

Ivan still sings her praises to John but John does not take this in the slightest bit seriously. He and the rest are convinced Paula is Ivan's secret girlfriend (it's actually platonic between them, George is the one who carries a torch for Paula) and that Ivan wants her around so that he doesn't feel lonely at Quarry Men practice.

Things finally come to a head when Paula helps Ivan carry his tea chest bass to a QM band practice. The mythical J. Paula McCartney! (She won't tell anyone what the J stands for because it's embarrassing.) Paula's face definitely catches some unwanted attention so she deliberately plays up being Ivan's girlfriend to escape it. I imagine she's pretty cold about this kind of thing and probably much more ruthless than AMAB Paul because she has to play for keeps to be taken seriously.

Then she notices John playing with banjo chords. She says something. This goes very, very poorly.

John could take direction from an AMAB Paul who showed off his skills but Paula just rocks up and makes fun of him to his face. "She doesn't even play! Ivan, muzzle your bitch and get her out of here." Doesn't help that John is immensely taken with her but he doesn't like this at all.

Years of slapslap (no kiss) ensue, Paula eventually does make her skills known to John in someway but he's able to put her down for being a girl and therefore not a threat. I have no idea how they would both develop musically but I imagine that any attempts at a collaboration between them would go immensely poorly at this stage. John would not be able to put aside the sexism and Paula would needle him mercilessly.

Eventually though they come to a sort of détente which means that their two social spheres get some measure of peace after some 2 odd years of them screaming at each other during house parties. Everyone else can tell they want to fuck each other's brains out but they both frequently declare their public loathing of each other. For some reason John makes it his business to know what the guitar girl from Allerton is doing with her time and who she is spending it with. As she gets older this might even become a more reasonable proposition as Liverpool is still a rough neighborhood and she insists on walking home by herself after dark. Eventually she and Ivan stage a public break up so that John realizes its "over" (lol) between them and stops bothering poor Ivan about it.

George is more territorial about Paula which is cute coming from a pipsqueak that John easily has 30 pounds over. Unfortunately Paula does not see George that way.

At some point Paula becomes a bit of a woman about town and starts seriously dating men. John muscles his way into this, for some god forsaken reason, and makes a nuisance of himself running off Paula's dates. More screaming matches ensue but John seems incredibly agitated about something that Paula doesn't understand.

At some point in the détente John makes it into art college. Paula makes sure to mock him to his face for being an academic failure and reminds him that he'll never graduate because he doesn't have the guts. To this end John does in fact buckle down out of pure spite. I don't know if he would actually finish but I think he'd actually develop as a painter and a sketch artist just to show her up. I don't think John Lennon of all people could bear a beautiful woman mocking him for his inadequacy.

John might go on two dates with Cynthia but I think she would be a little unsettled at how he manages to insert Paula McCartney into every single conversation, but not in a jealous way. Cynthia tracks down Paula at some public gathering and asks her if she's being bothered by John. A trio of Dot, Paula, and Cynthia forms. SLEEPOVERS etc. John settles down because Paula isn't actively dating anyone here, she has her galpals and they are extremely epic friends.

Something happens that triggers Paula and John running off on their own. I'm imagining John stealing a college teacher's keys and they drive out to get some lunch somewhere. It's an unexpectedly good gesture from John Lennon who Paula usually dismisses as a cad.

I think at some point during this conversation John would admit that he knows Paula is a good guitar player -- its just that he can't really own up to it in public. A unique moment of vulnerability from him and she responds in kind. She tells him she thinks he's the best singer she's ever heard. For the first time things are not shitty between them. John probably ruins this by honking her breasts.

Paula graduates secondary and has to decide what the fuck to do now. It is 1960, they're going to go to Hamburg eventually but not yet. John has managed to establish something with Stu and I think Paula sent George John's way because he needed support that he refused to accept from her because she's female. She's been a loner for all her life, it's not a big wrench now.

George has had a front row seat to John's Paula obsession for years now and he's both intrigued and weirded out and wants to date Paula himself.

I'm imagining some scenario where John finally goes…why not try it. What's stopping him. So he finds her at an outdoor market and he actually tries to be smooth. He catches her eye on the other side of the road and nicks a wildflower bouquet. He trips comically and almost goes down but then appears three stalls later. Paula is laughing, yes yes she thinks it's funny. He waits at the end of the strip and gives her the bouquet and they spend some quiet time together. Nothing sexual, John is just ready to try something he's never attempted before: treating a woman like a person.

Paula reciprocates and buys him something to eat probably. He really is very handsome and very intelligent. She likes him better without the quiff and says so. He succeeds in making her laugh. His hair is so red and he's still the beautiful boy she saw on the bus.

They're watching the sun set over the Mersey when she says "I was accepted to [university.] I'm leaving at the end of the week. I'm studying music."

John goes quiet but doesn't really react except to congratulate her. He knows she will do well.

He goes home and it goes poorly.

Cyn and Dot throw a big good bye party for Paula to celebrate her leaving home. Their pearl is escaping into the big wide world. Paula is deeply unhappy. Something is missing. She gets very very drunk. George shows up and tells her that John and Stu have secured a gig in Hamburg. They'll be leaving at the end of the week too. For some reason John was really, really intent on leaving all of a sudden. Paula definitely locks herself in her childhood bathroom and cries her eyes out.

John notably does not put in an appearance at the party even though Stu and his hot friend Pete Shotton definitely do along with George. Everyone knows that John and Paula have a thing so where the hell is he? Even if they don't like each other they've still been a big part of each other's lives -- John has an arrest record because he punched out the guy who spiked Paula's drink a few months ago and she screamed bloody murder in the police station until they let him go. What gives?

John still does not put in an appearance. Someone sees a creeper by the front door but he slides away before anyone can see him.

Around 4am Paula finally drags herself upstairs upset and wasted and not sure why she's unhappy. She hears the rocks clatter against her window and by the time she pokes her head out John is risking death by climbing up the drainpipe. She almost screams but helps him inside instead.

John is a MESSY PERSON and he promptly goes to pieces in her arms. What am I supposed to do without you, he sobs. Aren't you going to miss me? Aren't you going to think about me? Don't I matter to you at all?

They have another small argument but its not very serious and its clearly flirting at this point. They're both pretty bombed so they just end up stripping and holding each other.

Jim finds them the next morning. It goes poorly.

Paula decides she's going to Hamburg with John. He told her they need a fifth person and he gave her the eyes. She knows what he wants and she knows what she wants and she isn't wasting money on some stupid school. She doesn't want to be a music teacher anyway.

Jim informs her she is not going to Germany in the company of four randy boys much less with the town ne'er do well John Lennon. Paula bides her time and packs a bag and her guitar. She escapes out the window the morning that they're set to leave for Hamburg and shows up at the last second. John hugs her tightly and doesn't let go for several hours. She just blew her uni placement to be with him.

Hamburg happens. It goes poorly but also very well. John suddenly gets a lot more sensitive to their accommodations. If it was all blokes he wouldn't care but now that they're out of the cradle of Liverpool he's suddenly sharply aware of how many people are watching them, and watching Paula, and how vulnerable she actually is. Paula adjusts to the German catcalls and otherwise refuses to appear ruffled. Honestly don't know how to render this particular section except that John would get an early education on how a woman and a bandmate can be treated. This isn't Cynthia being pawed at by a German sailor, this is his bandmate Paula having to dance away from blokes trying to climb up the stage to get to her. "Alarmed" doesn't quite cover it.

For Paula its an education. She's never performed live in front of an audience before; this version of Paul never performed with the QM. Gelling with the band out of no where is a hell of a challenge but Hamburg still makes them. She surprises John by engaging in the loogie races and by being intrigued by the sex workers around town. I think that she and John still wouldn't be having sex at this point because John is still absorbing all the new experiences and it's easier to keep her on a shelf where he can admire her tits without actually trying to fuck her. In John's mind he's keeping the upper hand by not ruining Paula by having sex with her. In his mind he's protecting her from something; he doesn't feel worthy of her and if they get physical he's scared of making her "dirty."

Paula still has ways of unsettling him though. Imagining John's face if she shows him the underbust corset she bought without a shirt to go under it. He's only seen her nipples in the dark before so seeing her dressed up like one of the street girls makes him pretty feral and that's on top of the prellies.

Paula only performs dressed this way once which results in some mass chaos at whatever club they're performing at that night, kek.

Honestly Hamburg is still intensely deranged and Lennon and McCartney's fixations one each other becomes even more pronounced once they start writing songs together. I can't imagine how their music would change once they have access to Paula's vocal range. Probably something more Nightwish-esque as I think Paula being a woman would make John more tolerant or intrigued with operatic styles just because he wants to hear her belt it.

George still gets deported for being underage but I think John and Paula end up staying in Hamburg together because Paula doesn't light a condom on fire this time. She's too busy putting it on John. I like to think they spent Christmas in Germany performing and boning.

They finally make it home after New Year's. Paula is half dead and John is barely a person because he's full up on amphetamines and sex. Mimi won't let John into the house because he had the nerve to take off with a scarlet woman to Germany without asking permission which means…

Jim does not officially let John into the house so Paula sneaks him in through her window. The band recuperates through out January and John gets used to sleeping next to his lady. It's a quiet hibernation period that they think back on fondly later.

At this point Paula is somewhat disgraced for running off with John Lennon and once again John gets to see this up close and personal which is discomfiting for him since its his actions that are visiting these consequences back on Paula's head. He didn't quite understand how intense the judgment was before he saw it aimed her way. It forces him to grow up a little.

But he still takes her to Paris. Common expectation is that they're running away to get married. Neither of them want to get married yet but they're also doing the Lennon-McCartney dance with each other where they become screamingly jealous of anyone who looks at their partner.

Things progress to 1963. They meet Brian, shit happens idk. Beatlesmania kicks off. I have this idea that maybe Paula crossdresses as a man. She is beautiful but she still has a strong jaw and her breasts are small enough to bind without much effort. She is also still the tallest member of the Beatles and she easily has a full inch over John in height (which regularly leads to the best erections of John's entire life.) Being an Amazon has its advantages and this one means she can present herself as a man to secure a unified front with the other Beatles.

I am unable to render how Beatlemania would change if Paula was the single girl in the Fab Four but I can imagine how it would change their look -- 3 beautiful matching boys and the sole female. Lots of color play in my mind going on and of course there's the quiet understanding that Lennon and McCartney belong to each other.

Paula "accidentally" gets exposed as a woman when John loosens her undergarments as a prank and her breasts pop out during a performance. (I don't think anyone would see her nipples, it just be immediate cleavage and a button pops off her jacket.) I am unable to render how this would go, I can't imagine anything except a huge uproar that would send the Beatles into the stratosphere. This would become a moment that gets debated for decades, whether it was a prank from John or if John and Paula came up with it together.

Paula has incentive to do something like this: Brian won't let John and Paula get married because it would disrupt the Beatles image.

1965 - the big one, I think. Paula can be a woman in public now which results in the photoshoot that breaks the world. Referred to only as "the Beatles wedding." It's just too good to pass up.

Paula gets to model a few hundred different wedding gowns (most of these are separate from the boys just because there's so many and she looks good in everything) with various accoutrements anc accessories. There is a portion where the boys will be dressed up as grooms and they'll be getting special sessions with her each.

John is a complete and utter bastard leading up to and throughout the days of this shoot and its commonly conjectured in Beatles fandom circles for decades afterwards that he was seething with jealousy and humiliation -- he should have married her years ago so that this kind of spectacle couldn't come to pass, and he knows it, but he can't change it now and he's furious that she's dressing up as a bride when she's not even really his. And on top of it George and Ringo are getting to see her before he does and they won't tell him what she looks like.

"I hate you and I will never forgive you for as long as I live," is what George tells John when he asks how it went, what she wore, what it was like. John is hurt and confused.

"You're a lucky man John Lennon. Don't squander it," is what Ritchie tells John when he asks about it. "Make sure to brush your teeth and whatnot though."

John is nervous as hell even though its just some stupid photo shoot and they've done thousands of those already. Brian won't let him drink to calm down so John now has to face Paula in her wedding gown while completely sober.

There's a modern trend of "photos of grooms seeing their brides in their dresses for the first time" and I think all 3 of the boys would get these with Paula. It might even be enough to power several magazines, idk. Collectors items and whatnot. The McHarrison issue, the McStarr issue, the McLennon issue…

Photogs definitely capture the moments leading up to the reveal and then the seeing, the shock, the surprise, the awe. George started laughing and flung himself at her and danced her around, Ritchie did that presses-his-fist-to-his-face thing men do sometimes when they're overcome, yes, Paula is an absolute joy. She made sure to insist on having all different dresses per day because she didn't want repeats. Her boys deserve something brand new every time.

John though. Oh, John. Very nervous, trying not to be, clearly hating the camera, he doesn't turn when he's supposed to and he only reacts when she touches his shoulder and calls his name. Honestly I can see them leaning into a beauty and the beast angle with these two.

If there was any doubt before there isn't now. It's love. Everything else fades away and it's just John and Paula being themselves, except they were always in love, weren't they.

The world promptly goes completely insane upon the release of the Beatles wedding photographs. They got what they asked for and then some. Honestly John and Paula probably have one iconic photo spread of just the two of them that day and in that timeline, that portrait blots out pretty much anything else of cultural significance from 1965-1968. The world turns on but the wedding portraits from that day is what ends up being the most iconic part of Beatlemania.

after that IDK, I'm not really capable of thinking past that. I just like the idea of the wedding photoshoot and how John and Paula came from those humble beginnings. I think they'd definitely have children together but I don't know if they could manage a stable family unit or if they'd be able to save the band from the break up. But there wouldn't be any faffing around about "the Lennon and McCartney rivalry" or "they always hated each other." The wedding shoot was too real.

Notably, John and Paula did attend the premier of A Hard Day's Night with Paula in a white dress and John in a black tux. Symbolism.

I think by the time the Get Back sessions happen John and Paula have an almost three year old and Paula is heavily pregnant with their second or third child. Instead of the deadline being Ringo's acting job they're trying to get one last project in because the second baby is due in February.

I think with Paula's height (she would still be taller than John after all and this time she's wearing high heels to make the point) and her androgyny they would also get some mileage out of early boundary pushing by dressing her up in the boys clothes, so the Shea uniforms would definitely make an appearance unchanged except Paula's tits are out to here and John spends a lot of the stadium concert unbuttoning her jacket every time she buttons it back up.

Just occurred to me that Help! would be a much more straight Dr. No parody especially with Paula as the built in Bond girl. AHDN would be more similar as a documentary with surreal comedy elements but Help! would definitely be more ridiculous and Johnny gets his girl in the end haha

-----------------------

These are all my notes from last year. Thought you guys would appreciate. As I was writing this out last year, I remember being caught between two impulses: the "John and Paul would be a pregnant teenagers couple" idea (which I see many other based users have agreed with!) and then the "Beatlemania but if Paul was a woman" idea. In the end I went with the Beatlemania Paula because that's more interesting as a story especially with Paula having to exploit her androgyny for success. That being said I think Paula would absolutely be the Domme to John's sub, there's no way a Beatlemania Paula doesn't have John's balls in a cage and John liked being controlled by a strong woman. He's not allowed to finish until she tells him that he can.

I remember thinking that they would have their first child in 1965, with the idea being that Paula is pregnant during the Beatles Wedding Photoshoot, which would take place sometime in the winter so that the fashion designers could sell their wares with Paula advertising them. IMO Paula would make John wear condoms for years but once Ed Sullivan happens John makes a disturbingly sincere plea to trash them and Paula assents. Two months later she's pregnant after John's been climaxing inside her multiple times a day <3 But honestly, she's rewarding him for being so fucking brave all the time, he's unironically earned it.

I also think that a female Paula is still has full on baby rabies and by late 1964 she's desperate to get pregnant by John so they can finally start their family. There's an element of rebellion too because she'd be furious with Brian for not letting her and John get married and retaliates by having out of wedlock children.

[fizzingwizard]

I was genuinely looking forward to Lupin vs Holmes in part 6, but what a disappointment it was. Actually, disappointment is too weak a word. In my opinion, it was pretty much a disaster.

There were so many reasons to be hyped for that crossover. You've got Holmes, the greatest detective of his time, and Lupin, the greatest thief of his. They're both canny, eccentric, and always a step ahead of everyone else. They're also both independent and live by their own set of morals. Holmes picks which cases he'll take without concern for money, and lets people go even if they're guilty if his own convictions say they don't deserve punishment. Lupin always does what he wants, doesn't let himself get pushed around, and enjoys wreaking havoc among inhumane criminals just as much as he enjoys flouting the law.

They're even perfectly matched in the ways they're different. I was open to them either liking or disliking each other (though I feel convinced they'd definitely have respect for each other), because I can see either take making sense. Holmes is calculations with a pinch of chaos, Lupin is chaos with a measured dash of calculation. Holmes eschews relationships aside from a very few - Lupin enjoys social interaction (but prioritizes just a few). Holmes is functionally asexual. Lupin is never not horny.

Even the supporting cast was so promising! To tell the truth, from watching previous seasons I didn't really think the rest of the Lupin gang or Watson would have much to do. But I hoped they would because there was so much potential.

I mean Jigen and Watson are both war veterans in their own way. It's not the best comparison (Watson was a doctor, and got shot almost immediately... but he is also a "man of action" and does have a lot of fight and pluck, even if he's not going to be a match for Jigen in terms of marksmanship). And they're the right hand men of two pretty difficult geniuses... couldn't they spend a moment commiserating lmao.

It could have been awesome to see Fujiko interact with Holmes because her usual tricks wouldn't work on him. I admit it isn't unlikely the show would have been like "Ahh, but this time they do work on him, just like Irene Adler!" and totally ignored that book!Irene impressed Holmes with her wiliness and not her sexiness... But I'm talking about my fantasy here. And in my fantasy, Holmes would have had a similar reaction to Fujiko's manipulation and acting skills similar to how he did with Irene. It would have been pretty cool to see Fujiko interact with a man who was NOT into her, but was just as smart and brave and perhaps wiser than Lupin.

Even Goemon would have had something to do. He could have had a super cool kenjutsu vs baritsu ("what even is that?") battle with Holmes. Extra points if Goemon walks away saying "I respect the skill of that fellow warrior, even if he can't spell his own martial art correctly."

And of course Lestrade and Zenigata's shenanigans at Scotland Yard are a nobrainer. But serious bonus points if they both pine away with equal envy and admiration for their respective smart ass thorns in the side hahahahahahaha.

I mean. There was SO MUCH there. How, HOW do you mess that up???

(Answer: By knowing absolutely nothing about Sherlock Holmes to begin with and basing everything on your memories of inaccurate movies from fifty years ago x'D)

So instead we got: perpetually sad, somber Sherlock Holmes, who isn't working the job that he literally loves anymore in favor of looking miserable a lot and raising a child. And the child is Watson's kid, who Watson can't raise because he's fucking DEAD, and mom can't raise because SHE'S dead (just say Holmes is her mom. Come on. We're in the future. Just say it). Also Watson is dead because Lestrade killed him like WHAT. Of all the twists they could have gone one, they definitely surprised me with that one. Was it a fun surprise though? ... No, no it wasn't.

Add to that the extremely dull characterizations of everyone, the heavy reliance on the danger to a little girl who isn't even a canonical character but is very cute, and the slow, slow pace of the episodes... What a mess. It was memorable, sure, but for the wrong reasons.

Like the only thing I can think of that I didn't hate about the whole arc was Lily taking her first steps as Holmes's assistant at the very end. Fine, that's adorable, and makes me feel ever so slightly better about Watson being dead. And I'm desperate for something to like here so let's go with it.

("It's not really Sherlock Holmes anyway because of the generational difference, it's his great grandson who has his exact same name and job! Same with Watson and Lestrade and sexy Mrs Hudson and and and-" I'm gonna stop you right there we all know it's Holmes. Whatever excuses they make, no matter how they have to bend time and physics to make it happen, it is Holmes Prime in every way that matters lol.)

A melancholy sigh for the Coolest Crossover Ever That Wasn't. As a Lupin fan and a Sherlock Holmes fan, I'll regret it till the day I die.

[albentelisa]

Hi! So this ask is angsty but you can make it better for Jim if you want.

What if Jim was living with James Sr due to his mom supposedly abandoning him at a young age?

To make matters worse for him, this version of James Sr was physically abusive towards Jim and Barabra before the separation.

Nancy and Toby are aware of James being abusive towards his son, but they can't prove anything. The most they can do is offer Jim sanctuary if James gets really bad.

Needless to say, when the Trolls figure out their Trollhunter is being abused, they aren't happy. Neither is Strickler or Claire.

Oh, some great angst potential here O.O

So, the backstory is that James is extremely controlling when it comes to his relationships, and Barbara tried her best to fight it. Jim was used as a tool for blackmail too many times and Barbara genuinely wished she could take her son and escape. Unfortunately for her, James orchastrated it the way that everyone around them thought that Barbara was a horrible mother and no one was willing to help her. When Jim was 5, James took him and secretly moved to Arcadia. He also kept telling Jim (and everyone else he met afterward) that Barbara abandoned her son. Jim, however, starts to question it when he's older (it's one of his ways to cope with his horrible situation at home).

James is pretty much controlling with Jim too, making every single decision for him, including who he can communicate with or what he can or cannot wear. But James is really cunning abuser as most of his neighbors and acquaintances have no idea about the abuse. Nana and Toby are rare exceptions, but James makes everyone believe that Nana is just a senile old lady, so her word means nothing.

Jim is used to the situation where most people don't believe his words, so it takes a lot of time before he fully opens to anyone about his situation at home.

The thing that causes even more abuse is that James believes in supernatural, while Jim doesn't (and sometimes lets out sarcastic comments about that). However, from Jim's point of view, if the supernatural creatures existed, they would be good ones (simply because his father is convinced they are bad).

Everything changes when Jim finds the amulet and at some point he even considers to ask Blinky if he can live at the Trollmarket, but gives up on the idea as he's unsure if trolls will be that understanding and doesn't want to create more trouble for Nana (as James will accuse her first). Blinky, however, realizes that something is off with Jim's family and investigates a bit. He consults Toby later (as he isn't sure what is 'normal' for human families and realizes how messed is Jim's situation).

Strickler learns about Jim's situation at home around that time, and it makes him conflicted as Jim is Trollhunter. Though, he makes a mental compromise of 'saving Jim to earn his trust and then get the amulet'. Besides, he stumbles upon Barbara who has been searching for her son for years and now has no idea how to approach Jim and reconnect with him. Strickler helps her to get a job as a school nurse, so she can be at school without causing any suspicions. She gets an opportunity to talk to Jim several times but is reluctant to tell him the truth at first (as she is scared of rejection).

Claire is the one who accidentally learns that Barbara is Jim's mom (she overhears her conversation with Strickler). She encounters Barbara about it and discovers that James is abusive (she had a hunch that something was wrong with Jim's family, seeing how much he tensed when his dad was mentioned). Even though Claire isn't that close to Jim at this point (they are just partners at the school play), she decides to step in and tells Toby about Barbara.

From now on, there are multiple people (and trolls) on Jim's side with different ideas how to help him. Claire actually asks her mother for advice, wondering if there are legal measures. Strickler, on the other hand, decides to involve his connections, some of which are borderline illegal. And several parties consider feeding James to Bular (Toby is the first one to propose it, but Draal, Blinky and Strickler also think about it at some point).

Nevertheless, none of those plans are needed as James search for the supernatural results in his demise by goblins' hands and Jim has no idea what to do now. The official version is that James ran away and abandoned his son (and Strickler does everything so that the abuse fact becomes well-known and Barbara can be back as Jim's parent). Jim moves to Barbara's house, even though it's awkward to both of them (and he's slightly upset that she didn't tell him about their connection before). From now on, they try to catch up on everything they missed through the years, even if the road is bumpy. Jim doesn't tell Barbara about his trollhunting (because, well, while James is gone, Jim's distrust remains).

As for Strickler, he soon finds himself in a relationship with Barbara, which adds a bit to awkwardness factor (though, Jim doesn't mind as he considers Strickler one of the rare people he more or less trusts).

The trollhunting job continues smoothly, and the team slays Bular. Strickler isn't exposed in this AU, but NotEnrique still gets into Claire's family and that's how she learns about trolls.

Meanwhile, Strickler (who has gotten closer to both Barbara and Jim), realizes that without Bular around, there's no need to free Gunmar and he can easily continue with the Janus Order's secret takeover of the world. After all, he wasn't exposed in this AU, so basically no one suspects him. Strickler also thinks that the Killahead is save as it's at the Trollmarket and no one there has a reason to open it.

He never considered several things. First - NotEnrique busts himself, meaning that Jim now has the reason to open the gate to the Darklands. Second - a part of the Janus Order remains loyal to Gunmar. They liberate Angor Rot too.

One thing leads to another and Strickler ends exposed by both Jim and Barbara (who also learns about the whole trollhunting deal). Jim is even more devastated than in canon as Strickler was one of the people who he trusted and who seemingly tried to help, and Barbara is close to giving up on relationships altogether, seeing how her choice of men keep making everything worse.

Strickler gets a chance to redeem himself a bit as he saves Barbara from Angor Rot, but he still temporarily leaves like in the canon.

[corrodedbisexual]

Hear your heartbeat

Steddie | ~2.1k | T for this part | AO3 link w/Explicit part

Nurse in training Steve is hanging out with Eddie in his room, trying to talk him into helping Steve practice the different ways of measuring a patient's heart rate.

"Please?" He pouts, making the best use of what Eddie often calls his big dumb doe eyes. "We're finally getting trained on real patients next week, and I just don't wanna look like a total loser. Everyone's been practicing on someone back at home."

It's not exactly a lie, per se. It's just that Eddie doesn't need to know Steve's already spent weeks practicing on Robin. 

(She let him run a full physical on her, anything that didn't involve needles. He even, with permission of course, checked her breasts for lumps through a training bra: something he felt awkward about at first, but in the end, it wasn't weird at all. It didn't feel one bit sexual. Apparently, when you grow out of your perpetually horny teenage stage, boobies by default are just another normal human body part. It was an interesting revelation.)

But you see, Steve has a theory. One that he's not completely convinced of, even though Robin keeps insisting it's 100% solid. But if there's a way to be completely sure... would be pretty stupid not to use it.

Eddie laughs at first, like he thinks Steve's joking; when Steve takes the stethoscope out of his bag and raises an eyebrow, he falls silent, then sits up on the bed and shrugs.

"Uh, okay, sure. Go ahead."

Smiling triumphantly, Steve sits on the bed next to Eddie and reaches for his hand, pulling it into his lap. Eddie flexes his fingers briefly, then stills.

Steve begins by pressing his thumb against the pulse point and counting as he watches the seconds ticking by on Eddie's wristwatch. 76 is slightly higher than the average, but everyone's got a different resting heart rate, after all. It doesn't mean anything. He needs more data.

Letting go of Eddie's wrist, Steve turns a bit to place his hand on his friend's neck. He feels Eddie swallow against his palm, but otherwise, Eddie keeps still, eyes darting between Steve's face and some point behind his shoulder. 

Steve presses two fingers against the carotid artery on Eddie's neck. After half a minute, Steve multiplies by two and pauses to think. Eddie stays perfectly still, no movement to justify the increase to 90. 

A flicker of hope lights up in Steve's chest, but a stubborn part of his mind keeps playing devil's advocate. Maybe it's the cigarette Eddie smoked just a few minutes ago? Steve tries to remember what he read about the effects of nicotine on the body. He doesn't recall the exact numbers, but yeah, that could be it. 

"Can you lift up your shirt for me?" He asks, putting in the earpieces of his stethoscope. Eddie chuckles awkwardly, looking down, then mutters something inaudible through an exhale, and complies.

Steve presses the chest piece to the left pectoral; Eddie inhales sharply and jerks away, but then leans back in, giggling.

"Sorry. S'cold."

"That's okay." Steve grins. "But stop laughing, I can't hear anything".

"Sorry," Eddie says again, biting his lower lip, and the chuckles die down.

Steve closes his eyes so he can focus on listening instead of looking. He realizes immediately the spot is wrong, the sound of Eddie's breathing drowns out his heart, but Steve keeps listening for a moment anyway. He shifts his hand a bit to the right, his pinky finger brushing the nipple; an honest accident. There's a quick, sharp inhale in his ears, a pause, and then the rustle of clothing as Eddie's shirt slips out of his fingers and falls over Steve's hand. 

"Shit, sorry," Eddie mumbles another apology, lets out an awkward laugh as he scrambles to lift his shirt again. "Maybe you should have picked someone less clumsy."

I don't wanna pick anyone else, Steve doesn't say, placing his other hand to the right of Eddie's chest, fingertips pressing against the bunched up cotton to keep it up. Another hitch in Eddie's breathing. Steve bites back a smile and moves the stethoscope further towards the center of his chest.

He can still hear the background whooshing of the lungs, but mostly, it's now the rhythmic thudding of the heart valves opening and closing. Steve's heard it a bunch of times by now, and yet it keeps fascinating him. The ultimate proof of life, something akin to magic, even though he knows all the science behind it. The sound he shed tears over finally hearing, almost a year ago, as he pressed his ear directly to Eddie's bloody chest, after long and desperate minutes of CPR.

Steve absentmindedly traces the edge of a scar beneath his thumb at the memory. He looks down at Eddie's watch; he doesn't really need to, so accustomed to the rhythm now that he's already aware the brief silences between the thuds in his ears got even shorter. Still, he lets the full 60 seconds tick by as he counts 102 beats.

Steve looks up. Eddie's looking to the side, his expression clearly aiming for indifference, almost boredom. Only Eddie doesn't look like that when he's bored. He fidgets, taps his foot, rolls his eyes, rubs his face, keeps looking around the room for anything to entertain him. Steve had enough classes with Eddie in high school to know.

Noticing Steve's staring, Eddie flicks his eyes towards him, a strange, forced smile on his lips. Steve can barely hear his words through the thudding in his ears.

"So, what's the diagnosis, Nurse Harrington? Am I going to live?"

Steve doesn't reply right away, eyes flicking between Eddie's and mentally flipping the pages of his class notes. Causes of pupil dilation: light (the room's lighting the same as when they started), certain medications and drugs (Eddie didn't take any), eye or brain injury (thankfully not), and... 

Oh. Oh.

Oh, thank god.

Steve removes the ear pieces, hooking the stethoscope around his neck and removing his hands from Eddie's chest. Eddie lets go of his shirt, too, and it drops down over his torso. 

"Well." Steve takes a deep breath and looks Eddie straight in the eye, a playful smile on his lips. "Your resting heart rate is definitely elevated for your age. Your breathing rate is abnormal. Your pupils are slightly dilated. Oh, and you keep doing that, too," he says as Eddie visibly swallows. He puts his hands on Eddie's neck again and presses his fingers down, moving in tiny circles, feeling the shape of the glands.

"Your throat doesn't hurt, does it?" Eddie shakes his head, still staring at Steve like a deer in the headlights. "Well then," Steve stops pressing down, just lets his hands rest on Eddie's neck. "My professional medical opinion would be…" His eyes flick down to the lips; Eddie licks them. "You're attracted to me."

"W-what?" Eddie jerks back, Steve's hands falling off his neck. Eddie's brows furrow. "Jesus Christ, Steve. What the hell."

Steve giggles, despite feeling a little bad, because Eddie looks almost panicked. But he gets stupid when he's nervous, can't help it.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He reaches for Eddie's hand and pulls. "Come back here."

"Why?" Eddie frowns, his tone cautious.

"Cos you're too far away to kiss." He watches Eddie's eyes widen.

"What?" Eddie all but squeaks. 

"I've got a serious case of Crush-on-Munson disease." Steve presses his hand to his chest dramatically, struggling not to laugh. 

Eddie's face shifts through several different expressions, settling on utter bewilderment. "Huh?!"

"Might be deadly," Steve tries to say seriously, but he can't stop grinning at this point. "There's only one known cure. You gotta save me, Eddie."

"What the fuck," Eddie mutters, the corners of his lips slowly lifting; a hysterical giggle escapes his lips, then another, and then he drops his head, shaking with silent laughter. 

Steve shuffles closer, and Eddie doesn't move away; the opposite, in fact, curling in towards him and resting his forehead against Steve's shoulder as he groans. 

"You're a dork." Eddie lifts his head, tilted to the side, as if studying Steve's face. His smile is beautiful. Steve can't resist leaning in and pressing his lips against it. 

Eddie gasps against his mouth, but responds immediately, his whole body coming alive, arms around Steve's waist, leg thrown across his lap, getting closer, closer, until their chests are pressed together. 

Suddenly, Eddie breaks the kiss and narrows his eyes at Steve, feigning annoyance.

"I can't believe you tricked me with the whole 'playing nurse' thing."

Steve laughs, pulls him in by the back of his neck, and kisses him again.

A kinky follow-up on AO3

[heartbeatbookclub]

We all know Natsuki is the best cook and Sayori is the worst, but how are Monika and Yuri?

Natsuki, is, as stated, the best cook of the group. She's got the most experience, and where baking is a much more exact science, cooking is a lot more of a fuck around and find out type situation. Following a recipe to the T isn't hard and it gets good results, but Natsuki definitely spends a good deal of time figuring out little cheats and tricks to make it taste exactly like she wants. Of course, she makes more than enough to share. It's what she does best!

Sayori, as you surmised, cannot cook for shit I'm so sorry bbgirl you're burning a pot of water on the stove--

Okay, she's not that bad, but she has a tendency to try to prep every part of the recipe early, while other parts are still cooking and need her attention. This results in things being overcooked, occasionally undercooked as she needs to combine them quicker than the recipe requires, and occasionally she just eyeballs the amounts rather than measuring them which can really make mac n cheese taste a lot more soupy than you expected did you guys know that--

In all honesty, Sayori doesn't think she can cook at all in the slightest, and that belief leads her to psych herself out any time she tries, which just ends up reinforcing the belief. She can boil a pot of water and make Kraft Mac n Cheese with some degree of consistency. You're doing fine, lass, that's all you need to cook anything.

Monika isn't great, but she isn't terrible. She has a bit more confidence than Sayori, but she's not terribly confident in her ability to cook. She relies entirely on the recipe and is careful to measure things out and cook things for exactly as long as the recipe says, to the letter. This ends up with dishes which are fine, but taste a little...bland. Or a little TOO flavorful. Believe it or not, some of those recipes kinda suck on their own...especially since they aren't using the cookware YOU are. To break character a second, a genuinely handy tip on terms of cooking is to pay attention to how your cook top and pots/pans specifically heat up. Different cookware heats up at different rates, and different stove tops not only heat in different ways, they also tend to heat at different rates. Medium for you can mean high on someone else's stove, I'm not even kidding, you have to work that out yourself.

Back on track, over time Monika does start experimenting a little bit and start adding her own little flourishes to her recipes (little bit of extra spice here, little bit of extra milk for some added fluffiness, cooking for a little longer, sausage pieces), but she never gets much further beyond that, and has very little confidence as a chef all on her own.

Also she breaks spaghetti noodles in half, which peeves Natsuki. ("What's so wrong about that?" "Just get a bigger pot!")

Yuri tends to cook a lot of the same stuff...which is to say, not a lot. She has a select few foods she really likes and she makes them in a very specific way which she thinks tastes best. She's willing to branch out, and on terms of skill, she tends to be a natural at improvising while making a dish (substituting ingredients which, while they don't sound like they'd work, shockingly do, quite well), but she has...peculiar tastes. What she enjoys isn't necessarily what everyone enjoys. Still, she's a pretty solid cook, though she lacks confidence in her abilities to cook for others.

[magidragon12]

BBC GHOSTS as university flatmates, because that's pretty much their dynamic:

(Low-key based off my own experiences)

Julian is that one guy from a middle class background who somehow still has the money to shop at M&S, but he's a dick and won't share his fancy pasta with anyone. Out drinking pretty much every night, but somehow appears composed at a reasonable hour in the morning. Dominates the TV.

Pat is always trying to get everyone engaged in flat activities, game nights, movie nights, he goes round everyone's door to try and get them to sign up. Tries to settle disputes, even when it's clear we're past the point of negotiation. Leaves passive aggressive post it notes on someone's door when they've gotten under his skin though. Makes all his meals for the week in one go, and his shelf in the fridge is just full of tupperwear.

Kitty is big on communal food. If you want to use her milk for your breakfast coffee, then you can, just ask first. She'll also bake communal cakes, or leave a tin of sweets out with a post it note "take one!", can and will cook for you if you're too tired. Is just generally really giving. Wants to hear all about the cute person on your course and stays up to watch TV with whoever else is hanging around at that hour.

Humphrey is the elusive shadow roommate who hardly ever emerges from his room, and it took several weeks of constant gossip to even learn his name. He's friendly but secluded. Uses the kitchen late at night so people hardly ever catch him.

Fanny is always hanging out in the kitchen, and insists on gossiping with everyone about their day. When someone mentions going to a club she'll scoff and give them the judgy eye, but wait around the next morning to give them shit about their hangover and ask for all the details. Somehow always has the best food.

Captain is the enforcer of rules. Writes little notes to leave on the fridge where everyone can see them. Has read the entire rental contract and if you ever break it he's sure to tell you. Ban on flat parties. Draws up a schedule for the TV to stop Julian from hogging it, "and you all better stick to it!" The communal toaster in the kitchen belongs to him, so he can "ban" you if you piss him off (you'd still use it behind his back anyway)

Mary, another elusive one. If your room is next to her's you might hear the occaisonal odd noise coming through, but other than that, nada. Cooks her dinner at 3 am, chats with Humphrey while she does so. She struggles with conversation when there's a lot of people in the kitchen, but she'll smile and nod and follow along anyway. Stakes no claim to the television, but always eats Kitty's cake.

Thomas is usually hanging in the kitchen too, and there's really no escaping him. Tries to challenge himself by making something new for dinner every night. Fails miserably, but he's "too evolved" to use the microwave. Also shops at M&S and Waitrose but doesn't have the funds for it like Julian, so he's always broke as fuck. When he overhears you making plans he'll invite himself and you just have to deal with it. Lost his key-card about four times in his first week.

Robin is the most inconsistent. He can spend all his time in the kitchen, and then no one sees him for three weeks, then he reappears like nothing's happened. Will eat your food and use your utensils without washing them, and blame it on literally anyone else. Banned from the toaster, and the microwave. Still uses them. Definitely the loudest at night and in the mornings. If he's watching TV and someone walks in he'll stay perfectly still and measure how long it takes before they see him.

Alison and Mike are some of the upstairs neighbours. They are not happy.

Tag yourself I'm Julian/jk