#Heterosexual Privilege

[nysocboy]

What you and Taryn are building together

During the Episode 3.6 Rocking Chair scene, Keefe would not have gotten nearly as upset if he thought Kelvin was dating a man. The rocking chair meant: "this is it, a life-long romance. We will be partners until we die." But if Kelvin is dating a woman, maybe he believes that same-sex relationships are just placeholders. You hang out together while waiting for The One. Sex is for releasing tension, not expressing love. Just dudes being dudes

Keefe is not angry with Kelvin for "replacing" him, as much as afraid that maybe there was nothing there at all.

[bulldogblues]

I'm not judging anyone else who does it, but I can't in good conscience enjoy meme posts of the 'are the straights OK' or general 'heterophobic' variety that isn't specifically targeted at hetero men.

Hetero women are of course capable of degenerate or homophobic behaviour too, and I have no interest in interacting with homophobes of any sex or gender. But when thinking about heterosexual privilege on a societal level, it's pretty clear that it's almost entirely in service of (cisgender) heterosexual men, with heterosexual women getting a shit deal by comparison.

Among other things...

* Dating and being in a relationship with a man are statistically some of the most riskiest things women can do. The reams of reports of women being abused, injured, raped and killed by men who are meant to 'love' them lays that bare.

* On a less extreme level, women in heterosexual relationships are expected to do most or sometimes even all of the house work, child care and other tasks on top of paid work. Meanwhile the men can often get away with merely having a full time job and existing in the same home as their kids...

* If she has biological children, she has to carry all the risks to physical and mental health that come from pregnancy and childbirth. Even if she was 100% fit and healthy with no disabilities beforehand, there's never a guarantee that pregnancy won't change that forever.

* All the evidence clearly shows that over 95% of homophobic violence is inflicted by men. Most sexual assault afflicted on LGBT people is by men. The majority of discrimination in employment, housing and other areas is also done by men.

* Hetero men not only do the most work to enforce homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality, they benefit from it by far the most.

So try as I might, I simply can't justify to myself poking fun at hetero women for being hetero. Acknowledging the privilege they have compared to lesbian, gay and bisexual people? Sure. Calling out blatant homphobic behaviour? Absolutely. But beyond that, hetero women are victims of enforced heterosexuality too, and it's worth remembering that.

[communistkenobi]

the more I read about contemporary homophobic laws globally the more it becomes apparent that there is basically a 1:1 direct relationship between whether a country was under historic British rule and how many anti-sodomy laws they currently have on the books. like I knew this in a general sense but not the staggering degree to which this was the case. and I know this probably isn’t really shocking especially given how insanely anti-trans the UK is right now but it’s kind of insane to see just how much homophobia is a comprehensively global export of the British

[haggishlyhagging]

“It is a truism in the literature on working wives that although the husbands of working wives do help with household tasks, all too often wives continue to have responsibility for running the household. They rush home from work, shopping on the way, in order to have dinner on the table by six. They clean and tend to the laundry and do whatever has to be done in the evenings or on weekends. This is not role sharing.

The husband may promise to do his share, and increasingly he does or, at least, agrees to. But he can make his contribution so grudgingly as to force the wife to conclude that she would rather do it herself. Pat Mainardi has shown how such reluctant sharers of the burden manage to renege. She has translated all of their dodges. Eleven are standard:

“I don't mind sharing the housework, but I don't do it very well. We should each do the things we're best at." MEANING: Unfortunately I’m no good at things like washing dishes or cooking. What I do best is a little light carpentry, changing light bulbs, moving furniture (how often do you move furniture?). ALSO MEANING: Historically the lower classes (black men and us) have had hundreds of years experience doing menial jobs. It would be a waste of manpower to train someone else to do them now. ALSO MEANING: I don't like the dull stupid boring jobs, so you should do them.

"I don't mind sharing the work, but you'll have to show me how to do it." MEANING: I ask a lot of questions and you'll have to show me everything every time I do it because I don't remember so good. Also don't try to sit down and read while I'm doing my jobs because I'm going to annoy hell out of you until it's easier to do them yourself.

"We used to be so happy!" (Said whenever it was his turn to do something.) MEANING: I used to be so happy. MEANING: Life without housework is bliss. No quarrel here. Perfect agreement.

“We have different standards, and why should I have to work to your standards? That's unfair." MEANING: If I begin to get bugged by the dirt and crap I will say, "This place sure is a sty" or "How can anyone live like this?" and wait for your reaction. I know that all women have a sore called "Guilt over a messy house" or "Household work is ultimately my responsibility." I know that men have caused that sore—if anyone visits and the place is a sty, they're not going to leave and say, "He sure is a lousy housekeeper." You'll take the rap in any case. I can outwait you. ALSO MEANING: I can provoke innumerable scenes over the housework issue. Eventually doing all the housework yourself will be less painful to you than trying to get me to do half. Or I'll suggest we get a maid. She will do my share of the work. You will do yours. It's woman's work.

"I've got nothing against sharing the housework, but you can't make me do it on your schedule." MEANING: Passive resistance. I'll do it when I damned well please, if at all. If my job is doing dishes, it's easier to do them once a week. If taking out laundry, once a month. If washing the floors, once a year. If you don't like it, do it yourself oftener, and then I won't do it at all.

"I hate it more than you. You don't mind it so much." MEANING: Housework is garbage work. It's the worst crap I've ever done. It's degrading and humiliating for someone of my intelligence to do it. But for someone of your intelligence. . . .

"Housework is too trivial to even talk about." MEANING: It's even more trivial to do. Housework is beneath my status. My purpose in life is to deal with matters of significance. Yours is to deal with matters of insignificance. You should do the housework.

"This problem of housework is not a man-woman problem. In any relationship between two people one is going to have a stronger personality and dominate. MEANING: That stronger personality had better be me.

"In animal societies, wolves, for example, the top animal is usually a male even where he is not chosen for brute strength but on the basis of cunning and intelligence. Isn't that interesting?" MEANING: I have historical, psychological, anthropological, and biological justification for keeping you down. How can you ask the top wolf to be equal?

"Women's Liberation isn't really a political movement." MEANING: The Revolution is coming too close to home. ALSO MEANING: I am only interested in how I am oppressed, not how I oppress others. Therefore the war, the draft, and the university are political. Women's Liberation is not.

"Man's accomplishments have always depended on getting help from other people, mostly women. What great man would have accomplished what he did if he had to do his own housework?" MEANING: Oppression is built into the system and I, as the white American male, receive the benefits of this system. I don't want to give them up.”

Jessie Bernard, The Future of Marriage

[delightfullyodd]

What do you think of a notion that people from majority shouldn't write people from marginalized communities?

[karouvas]

Adam I love you but. That woman is looking at you / treating you like you have power because you’re a white man existing in this setting, no other reason. I understand why he’s worried/self conscious about these people perceiving he’s not one of them but he has quite a bit of privilege here as well.

[mintharasthrone]

this weekend i met someone off bumble bff and she was one of the most gross homophobic bi women i've ever met. going on rants about how butch lesbians are just misogynistic men and copy-paste their whole personalities and looks from abusive men and abuse women the same way. i started leaving my body and felt so much rage. she just kept going on about how toxic lesbians and the lesbian community are in general and making homophobic comments knowing i'm a lesbian. you are insane if you think being gnc makes a woman manly or masculine. and that appearance makes a woman more abusive. my abusers were extremely feminine bisexual woman.

she said that bisexual men have it worse than lesbians because lesbians are "encouraged" to experiment and bi men are not. what kind of weird ass braindead comment is that?? she would imply lesbians are privileged and act like we are so big in numbers. she said lots of lesbians get into relationships with men and use them for material things and disrespect male partners. i of course knew that was a batshit insane and stupid thing to say and doesnt happen. so i said id never met lesbian who'd been with men and she said in a hostile tone "so you only know goldstars?" ofc she is a hardcore troon supporter and thinks terfs are a real thing and got offended when i said i don't like dick, i told her i was banned on tinder before because of trans women harassing me and reporting me for not wanting them, so she started checking me with questions like "okay so then would you date a trans man?" they think gotcha because self-loathing women. then she would complain about how lesbians would refuse to speak to her because she was bi....i wonder fucking why. you prove us right every time. you hate homosexuals and refuse to acknowledge you're homophobic oppressors pro conversion therapy and align with homophobic men who want to rape us.

like i cant even process how much homophobic misogynistic shit she said but thinks bi women have it the hardest and that lesbians are worse and bad to bi women, that the "hate" is the same...and whenever i tried to make a point she'd say it goes both ways???? it absolutely does not??? like when i said bi women don't think lesbians are real. and funny she would never call a trans "woman" a man lmao but has no issues calling us men. anyways i fucking hate bisexuals you homophobic conversion therapy rape supporting pieces of shit. if i had known she's bi i would have straight up not even bothered to talk to her. thank fuck i have wonderful normie straight friends who support me and agree with me on trans bullshit and these homophobic maidens

[transmascpetewentz]

Thinking about how most of the examples of ways that trans men have been respected in recent history to "disprove" the idea that we're oppressed have been straight trans men. Thinking about how being attracted to women was a requirement to medically transition from female to male until very recently. Thinking about how the little respect trans men might possibly get from transphobes depends on us being attracted to women. Thinking about how people use examples of straight trans men being benefited by their attraction to women to blame gay trans men for every bad thing a trans man has ever done. Thinking about how straight trans men are the only ones who get taken seriously by non-leftists. Thinking about how the vast majority of trans men who claim that trans men aren't oppressed are straight or otherwise attracted to women.

[indigochromatic]

...you know what, I don't think I've ever seen someone talk about this, so why not. Sometimes it feels like a lot of the queer community sees any relationships that happen to be m/f as only capable of, like, shitty walmart-brand knockoff queerness, instead of Real True Queerness. It's "boring". It's "doesn't really count as bi/pan/omni rep", in media. So many posts and essays out there still have to constantly reiterate that 1) bi people exist, and 2) they're still bi and queer even if they're in hetero relationships--just the fucking baseline concepts! And I'm tired of having to defend or be expected to apologize for relationships like mine, instead of being able to actually...y'know, celebrate them. So, here: I actually fucking love being a bisexual guy in a hetero relationship. (Especially with someone who's also mspec.) -> I love that we get vicarious joy from each other's wildly different genders and ways of of experiencing attraction. -> I love that she thinks my attraction to guys is something to cherish, and something she's always trying to learn how to be a better ally for. I love learning about her aceness, and what attraction to femininity looks like for her. -> I love that she also knows what it's like to adore and be attracted to guys, even if her experience of it is different from mine, and I love that she knows firsthand how it feels to have a lady take your breath away, because it makes it all the easier for her to believe me when I tell her that's how I feel about her. -> I love that it kinda feels like we're a whole bunch of different types of relationship all at once: we're gay as fuck, we're disgustingly straight, we're sapphic as hell, we're so far off the screen that we've wrapped all the way around and become straight-but-genderswapped all over again. To put it as simply as I can: I don't feel erased, I feel seen.

[dockaspbrak]

thinking your opinion is the correct and only one and you're better than other people because you know best is the mind killer. Even about dumb shit. Even about big things. People have different lives than you!!!!!!!! Have some open minded empathy!!!!

[andrewisdoing]

[ms-all-sunday]

dont tell the heterosexual people in one piece shipping that none of their ships are going to become canon. even though it was a qualification of doing opla in the first place and oda has kept to his "no romance" mandate for years theyre still convinced theyre owed being canon against the wishes of both the author and most of the fanbase

[artificialllovers]

I’m sorry but… straight ppl do NOT make heterosexuality look fun at all.

[panarchie]

team, we have officially entered the "no sleep til due date" part of the semester

[romanceyourdemons]

tsui hark did shangguan jing’er so dirty

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

Bisexuals do have privilege over homosexuals in a homophobic society.

What prompted this? I've never said that LG people have privilege over bisexuals or that bisexuals have privilege over LG people (and honestly think the idea that one can have privilege over the other is an overly simplistic way of thinking about things).