#Hideaway Heart

[musingsofru]

🦁 March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. 🐑  I'm excited to be leaving the cold temps and marching toward spring with another month of books!

I added all the flowers to my stack as everything is brown and dead here in Colorado. I can’t wait for spring! 

M - Magical Midlife Madness by K.F. Breene  A - Accidental Attachment by Max Monroe  R - Reason to Believe by Rebecca Yarros  C - Chase Me by Tessa Bailey  H - Hideaway Heart by Melanie Harlow

⁉️ Is it looking like spring where you are? Any big plans this week?

📚I’m excited for book club.

[moonilit]

Modern AU Doodles

[kaltacore]

there's something really really bittersweet about how shadowheart is so obviously surprised and touched by tav remembering that she likes night orchids. it's one of the rare little things she could keep away from shar, something she wasn't robbed of, the last remembrances of a person she was, she used to be, maybe she still is — and by act 1 when she doesn't question her loyalties at all, deep down she knows shar can take that away too and she will obey as a good sharran she is. and now there's a person that will carry these last echoes of her memories for her so she can remember too, so she can be sure it was — it is real; and maybe there was someone who was doing the same once, who was preserving shadowheart they knew, shadowheart who was brought to the mirror again and again so she can be broken and rebuilt anew, but still loved night orchids and animals and stood up for the ones she cared about and couldn't help but act a little dramatic — but she can't recall who they were, their face nor name. and maybe one day shar will take tav away too, make them just another blank space in her mind — and it's sad and it's scary, because now once again there's a thought, an idea, a realisation in her half-emptied mind, that the thing is, it's not true that shar is the only one who cares for her, maybe it's never been; the thing is, every time she's brought to that mirror so there can be no one left but lady of loss

[bsptourist]

gm_hub_mall

created by MKA0207, Mr.ROFLMAN

[illiana-mystery]

Dr. Nyeburn ❤️

[nymfaia]

"i didn't think people like you existed." alta!

What was that meant to mean?

Alta allowed the quiet steam to surround his words, curling around them almost protectively - as if the nature they were lounging in knew the intent behind them even as it's mage questioned them entirely.

The moon hung lazily above the two of them, half-lidded in darkness and far away. It left the stars to shine in earnest, their dim light the only one truly shining upon them for over a mile... but even at that distance, the whisper of the city they had left seemed to follow them, the streetlamps a glowing, faraway haze.

When she had stepped off the path, Zelos had made a slippery remark, words pulled as easily from his lips as he was tugged along behind her. She had no intent of taking him off the traveler's worn road to harass him.

-- not in the forest, anywho.

She had been here before, she assured him, a paper parcel full of dried herbs and aromatics well and truly crushed in her rucksack. He had to trust her.

(There had been no quippy remark then, she noted belatedly, her attention so drawn to her dark adventuring. But he hadn't released her grasp - not then, not until the trees cleared and the rocky path unveiled her secret.)

She dropped her bag, instructed him to undress as he felt fit, and dug in the messy contents of her medic supplies until she found the crushed package. No matter. Dried, curled pieces of greenery spilled onto the surface of the spring water, the thick fog wafting the scent up into the air in a matter of moments.

"Chamomile," she explained, "and - ... lavender, and lemon balm."

Alta's shorts pooled at her ankles. Her poncho came off over her head next, the fibers catching on one of her earrings momentarily as she continued, half-mumbling:

"For stress relief, and sore muscles. I'm not sure I bought enough, but - ... that was what I could find."

She snuck her underclothes into her bag and turned. By the time Alta found his gaze, she had all but disappeared into the hot spring water, nose and eyes just above the surface.

This had been a gift to repay his own - ... but she would be dishonest to say she didn't benefit from the soak as well.

Her tail swished in the water when he spoke. Her hair looked nearly black where it floated on the surface of the water, giving the woman an oddly ominous appearance as she scrutinized him.

(The water dripping from his chest, the curls that fell over his shoulders, the reflection of the sky in his eyes - ... she could not decipher him. Alta wondered if she ever would.)

"I'm not - ... special," she said in return, raising from the water enough to speak clearly. The spring was hot, the air heavy and sweet with the flowers she had brought. Even if they were unable to make it back into town - ... she doubted setting up a camp here would be the worst thing.

To be able to stare at him and the stars alike would be almost more than she could ask for.

"If anything - ... I should be saying the same for you."

Her tone was bittersweet. He was maddening and endearing all at once, like trying to grapple with the very fog around them: heady and enticing but just out of reach. Alta's lips curled. She reached up, absently scrubbing the day's face paint from her cheeks.

"I'm nothing special," she repeated shyly. "Our meeting was - ... hm. A blue moon? A good chance. If anything - ... I should say the same for you."

[euesworld]

"Your eyes, quite unlike the night sky, holds twice as many stars for me to hide my desire inside.."

Hold my soul as deep as your own, with your own two hands, and see how I've grown - eUë

[earthends]

❝ i was shattered. i lost everything. ❞ ⸻ @otlaw .

❛ that sounds hard . ❜ and he thinks on his own experiences , the loss felt at his own behest , the wrongdoings that made up his every deed . hands bloodied with his own fault ; so , they feel the same . tragedy can oft be born of good intentions .

a tainted hand finds its home at clive's shoulder , and this night in the hideaway seems more quiet than usual . why ? he's uncertain . perhaps its the weight of their conversation , their discussion turned deep like the oceans that protect this place , and he debates on whether or not he wants to share that he relates . for a moment , he closes his eyes , head tilted down , lashes dusting the tops of his cheeks . he opens his sight to the lantern - lit familiarity of the place , and tests himself to stay quiet . not out of a need for privacy , but rather , in the throes of shame .

❛ we've all lost so much . please , let me know if there's anything i can do to assist everyone . not just here . i'll travel . we need each other , now more than ever . i want to make up for the wrongs of my past . ❜

[somanybookssolittletime1]

January Book Wrap Up

~~~ Good Morning, bookish lovelies! 📚 A little late with posting this but damn January just flew by so fast. These are all the books I’ve read in in the last month. I read 16 books in January, well… 10 of which was this manga series (A Sign of Affection) I’ve been wanting to read forever and I finally did!! These are the books I read/am currently reading. I feel like I didn’t get to read…

[equescaeli]

@ifritys || 𝐿𝐼𝒦𝐸𝒟 for a 𝒮𝒯𝒜𝑅𝒯𝐸𝑅

How bright the moon was that eve.

From his confines beneath blankets, sat up with his poise against the cold of the wall, can he see directly out of a gap in boarding - through the ruins in which he finds himself stowed away within and out - out to the beauty of the night sky. Countless stars reflect within his honeyed vision, speckled across the entirety of the heavens above - dainty lights glittering within an expanse of endless dark.

Quietly does he wonder if they look down upon those that gaze up, if they fathom opinions or thoughts, just as they sought answers within their patterns. Were there other worlds among them? Thoughts that could dive deeper than the waters just outside were ill fitting for a male of whom ought have been sleeping but since first waking from the immense abyss he had been claimed within had he found it entirely uncomfortable to even attempt to close his eyes.

What would he see, seared there, on the backs of his eyelids? What atrocities would return to haunt him so soon after the vulgarities that still felt akin to a bad dream? No- rest eluded him and for good reason.

'T is with a heavy heart that he finally lowers his gaze, stares towards fingers littered with nicks and bruises and eases out a sigh that feels as if it comes from the very depths of his soul, drawn from the mix of grief and woe that rests there.

Eyes closed - a silent prayer thought in the solitude of the space he rested within ere the sounds of bootsteps draws his attention, mercifully, elsewhere. His throat clears, eyes blinked repeatedly in an attempt to rid them of the shine that suggested tears and, with a forced tired smile does he regard his company with no small amount of surprise;

"...ought you not be resting, too?" It is all he can think to say for the moment, consciousness still foggy from his elongated sleep and pounding headache nigh disorientating. "I wouldn't let Tarja catch you --" Mayhap his attempt at humour was flat, but 't was an attempt nonetheless; even given the dark circumstances, one had to try.

[villainousauthor]

Villain hums thoughtfully as they circle around Hero, who's currently staring off, looking despondent.

"They should have come to rescue you by now." Villain speaks in a matter-of-fact tone, their eyes burning into Hero.

"They should have...I thought they would have by now." Hero looks to the ground, trying to fight the burning in their throat, the sting of their unshed tears.

It's been weeks since Hero was taken, and so far, their team hasn't even attempted to come for them. Hero kept telling themself it was only a matter of time, but the more the endless days and nights at Villain's hideaway blur together, the more they realize the truth. Help is not coming.

Villain lets out a noise of frustration and stalks towards Hero again.

"They should have by now! Where is your team? They're your allies, are they not?" Villain rakes a hand through their own hair, looking to Hero for an answer.

All Hero can manage in response is a half-hearted shrug. Villain's frown deepens, brows draw down into an expression of irritation.

Noticing Villain's anger, Hero looks up at them defiantly, trying to fight the urge to cry still yet.

"If keeping me here this long really bothers you, you can just let me go. I don't need you rubbing it in that my team isn't coming." They try to make their words as biting as possible, but they can't help the wobble in their voice.

Villain lifts a brow, surprised by Hero's words. "I'm not upset with you, and I'm certainly not complaining about keeping you to myself," their words were smooth and deadly, tone dropping as they spoke, "But your team? I have half the mind to tear them apart right about now."

Sauntering forward, they use their arms to back Hero in against the chair, leaning closer. "I'm furious at them for abandoning you to my devices. If I was any other villain, or if I was any less fond of you, do they even know what would have become of you by now? They don't care about your fate at all."

Lip trembling, Hero can feel the tears they fought against so much finally beginning to run at Villain's words. Sniffling, they try to hide their face, hide their weakness as their shoulders shake. They've been abandoned. The thought threatens to suffocate them as they try and hold back sobs.

"Oh love," Villain's voice was a soft coo now, spoken closer to their ear. A strong but gentle hand goes to Hero's wrist, prying their hand away from their face. Villain's face is inches away from them now, meeting their tearful eyes, looking at them with an emotion they can't place.

Villain brings a finger up, wiping a tear from their cheek. "Don't cry, love. You're safe here. I'll take good care of you since your hero friends evidently can't." They softly murmured and pressed even closer.

"But-" Hero tried to speak but was quickly cut off by a finger to their lips.

"Shhh...don't worry about it. I'll make sure they pay for the pain they caused you," Villain runs a thumb across their lower lip, fingers caressing their jaw. They tilt Hero's chin up gently, not letting them look away or hide their crying. They lean in close, kissing a tear away softly. Hero tries to turn away yet again and feels Villain's hand tighten ever so slightly, but they lean back, voice still gentle as they speak again.

"In the meantime, we'll make sure you're comfortable. You'll be staying with me for a while."

[tacticalprincess]

cw: angst, emotional manipulation, dry humping until completion

being the poor little hostage könig is in charge of looking after… he feels annoyed and helpless, listening to you sob for hours. he’s sympathetic; he can see how cohabitating with someone of his caliber might be distressing after what you’ve gone through. even after years of experience he still isn’t quite sure how to deal with this part of his job— the emotion and human interaction part. he avoids making direct eye contact with you and speaks to you as little as possible, figuring you just need space to process. little does he know that everything he does, down to the way his eyes shift uncomfortably in his hood, makes you feel even worse, self conscious and isolated, just like you’d felt when you were kidnapped. you longed to be close to the man that saved you from the situation you thought you wouldn’t make it out alive from, and the rejection you felt from him was only making the crave worse. you’d do anything to get his attention…

he returns back to your guys’ temporary hideaway to find you in the same spot he left you, curled up in the corner of the bed. his heart hurts at the image you make. he stands awkwardly in the middle of the room holding a paper bag. "i brought food and… more tissues."

you break down at the sound of his voice, the first voice that hasn’t evoked a deep sense of dread and fear into you in weeks. you can’t see through the fog of tears in your eyes, but you hear the sound of heavy footsteps inching toward you, the crinkling of the bag being set on the creaky wooden table. a large, tentative hand is placed on your shoulder, and you can’t help but lean into the touch you’ve been craving.

“don’t… don’t leave again.” you plead brokenly.

“okay…” könig sounds startled. “what do i…?”

“can you just sit with me? hold me?”

he hasn’t held anyone the way he holds you since before he can remember. it’s hesitant and stiff at first, you leaning up against his broad chest, his strong arms wrapped gingerly around you. he softens up the longer you sit there, your face buried in his neck as your crying turns into sniffling, and eventually his warm embrace feels indistinguishable from that of someone you’ve known forever— a lover, even. he just makes you feel so safe and protected. it’s not your fault that your confused, touch-starved brain reads the situation as something that it’s not.

könig’s supposed to be the clear headed one. he should stop you when you start crawling further on top of him, he shouldn’t let you sit yourself in his lap. it’s inappropriate and he knows it, only a sick man would take advantage of a young girl in such a vulnerable state. but it’s not like he isn’t also in dire need of physical affection. if he just sits back and lets you take what you need from him to be comfortable, he isn’t doing anything wrong. right?

“i’ve been so scared, so lonely.” you reason with him as your hands feel around his broad biceps through his tactical gear. the more you discover about him, the more your admiration for him grows. your breathing has turned heavy, the warmth of könig’s body paired with the feeling of having a man so close to you for reasons that aren’t to hurt you, has your cunt aching between your thighs. you’re so screwed up. “i never thanked you for saving me.”

“it’s my job.” you can hear that he’s effected too, his accent thick and deep and strained underneath his mask. you bite your lip at the sound, your little hips growing a mind of their own as they start to rut against his crotch. the sensation of your sweet heat rubbing snugly against his is enough to lower any inhibitions könig has left. fuck, he hasn’t felt anything like it in so long. “we shouldn’t–”

“it’s your job to take care of me.” hot tears start to well up in your eyes at the mere thought of stopping. you lock your arms together behind könig’s head, clamping your thighs tighter around him so he has no choice but to let you continue. “please, i need this, sir. i know you want it too.”

he could easily fight you back if he wanted to. he’s much bigger, much stronger… but he doesn’t. his hands find your hips, and you make eye contact for the first time since he rescued you, only now his eyelids are heavy with desire. he’s just as desperate as you. you got what you wanted, his full attention on you. he uses his strength to guide your movements until what youre doing can’t be described as anything else but riding his clothed erection, the friction against your sensitive clit all too much for you too quickly.

you grind against him to the point of overstimulation, too fucked-out to decide wether you want to pull him closer or push him away. he ends up deciding for you, though, hugging you until you’re pressed chest to chest, succumbing to desire. you can feel the way his bigger body dwarfs yours as you use each other to get off. tears stain your soft, flushed cheeks as you cum, pushed over the edge by the sounds of his low pants and grunts, his pulsing cock underneath you. warm with the knowledge that you made him feel as good as you. you thanked him properly.

“i’m here, engelchen. ride it out.”

the feeling of you convulsing on his dick is enough to milk könig’s orgasm out of him soon after, dirtying his pants with hot, thick cum. he strokes your head and whispers soothing words in your ear, and it’s not until you’re fast asleep on his lap that the gravity of what he’d done settles in, shame washing over him in waves…

[ma1dita]

without a doubt

part one can be found here -> it will pass

words: little under 3k

summary: James has a lot of questions, but he quickly finds out Peanut is the answer.

warnings: none! angst–hurts before things get happy, peter (since some of yall might need a warning), all the marauders are alive and happy, lily is too smart for this, peanut and jelly 4 ever

a/n: thank you for all the love (and tears shed) for it will pass! i genuinely rewrote this about four different times and almost lost the plot, but please let me know if it meets your expectations!

(posted 9/11/23)

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 4

I know it will pass, it’s just heavy. You’re all I know.

There’s something about the noise in your brain as you move around your silent apartment. It overpowers the fear that hasn’t quite left your body after he let the front door fall shut. Being paralyzed in the aftermath of the truth that left your lips…It’s maddening. And you can’t even talk to the person you want to hear it most. You love him.

I do love you (Y/N), just in a different way.

Those 10 minutes were a fleeting moment in the life you’ve shared with your best friend thus far. But now, he’s stopped writing, stopped calling, and you’ve never heard him be so quiet in the past few days after the fact. There’s a knock at the door, and the sound interrupts the way you breathe, dishrag in hand, and James’ sweater still on your body.

I know that, James. I just don't know how to stop.

“What a vision you make, (Y/N).” Remus jokes in an attempt to try to make you smile. He’s leaning against the doorframe as you pop your head through the opening and he slowly moves to follow you into your home. Why does it feel like you have to explain yourself this time? But Remus is deeply understanding in nature, and he opens his arms for you to burrow yourself in.

“Get yourself fixed up. Not taking a no for an answer, love. You’ve been MIA for long enough and you know how Pads is about his birthday. He’ll want you there, broken heart be damned.” Remus is rubbing your back, and you groan.

“Ever the fucking diva.”

His chest rumbles with laughter, but both of you know that you say it lightly. Years ago, when Sirius moved into the Potter’s, it was understood that every birthday was to be as great as he was to his found family.

Nothing has to change, Peanut.

Remus sniffs you lightly, nose crinkling, “Place is spotless. Your turn for a deep clean and then off we go.” A horrified noise leaves your throat as you push yourself out of his embrace.

As the steam from the shower slowly suffocates you, you realize that Remus innately knew the reason for your emotional sabbatical from James and the rest of your friends. You wonder if everyone’s known that you’ve been in love with James Potter, and scrunch your face at how oblivious you both have been. The cold water washes away the grief that’s had a handle on your being this past month. Out of all the pranks they’ve played, this tops it. What a sick joke for the both of you to be left out of.

I think you should go now. Please.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 3

All of Sirius’s birthdays are spectacular, but you really can’t fight the hurt crawling up your chest. There are too many memories here at Potter Manor, too many familiar faces asking where you’ve been, and James looks petrified, eyes following your figure around the Manor like you’re a ghost he can’t touch. You walk up the stairs like you have many times over the years, finding a hideaway in the west wing. You and James used to gaze at the stars here.

“So why the hell are you moping on my birthday? No one’s allowed to be sad today.” Sirius grins, breaking the silence as he walks across the balcony to throw his arms over your seated figure.

“Happy Birthday Padfoot.” you smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek. You clink your glass against his as he takes a seat next to you on the bench.

“Trust me when I say you always look stunning, (Y/N) but there’s this look in your eye that you get when you’re around Prongs nowadays. Might I say it’s why you dropped off the face of the Earth?”

Your face instantly drops at his words, and you’re glad he can’t see much in the dim light.

“How long have you all known, Pads?”

“I don’t know about much when it comes to love, (Y/N). But what I do know is that I’m his brother, and you’re his best friend. There’s a lot of responsibility being those two things for someone like that idiot. You love him like humans need air.”

“I just… I don’t know what to do with it.” The elderflower wine glides down your throat, its taste sweet on your tongue. Sirius sits with you, knowing what’s coming next. As an older brother, he also knows you’ve been waiting for someone to listen.

“What do I do with all the love I have for him? Where does it go now that he doesn’t want it?”

“I’ll take some. It sounds lovely.” Peter’s voice almost echoes in the silence as you both turn your heads to see him and Remus in the dim light of the hallway, a bottle of firewhiskey in hand and it makes you genuinely smile for the first time in days.

“Yeah, pass it around. Godric knows Prongs doesn’t appreciate you enough.” Remus says bluntly, and you hit his stomach when he ruffles your hair.

“Honestly, what a prat! Makes you plan his proposal and doesn’t want you at the afterparty? The nerve.” You choke on the remnants of your wine as you laugh at Sirius’s outrage for you, and all four of you are giggling in the dark like idiots as Remus pours you shots. If anything else goes wrong in this life, you’re glad that you have the Marauders to live it with you.

The laughter reaches the hallway, and in walks Lily, who teasingly asks “Did the party move in here without us?” James is as still as a statue behind her, watching you laugh with his boys. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen you happy and acknowledges that he’s to blame.

“You shouldn’t be surprised, Lils. There’s always a party when Padfoot’s around,” you remark, and everyone gets up to go back to the party. Lily looks around as if she’s missing something, then looks at James.

“I’m glad that (Y/N)’s back from whatever’s been keeping her busy. Looks like everything’s falling back into place.” she muses, and James can’t help but watch his best friend, no, his best girl, walk away, thinking that everything must be falling apart.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 2

It’s morning now, and a lot of the crowd has gone home or fallen asleep in the many rooms of Potter Manor. You decide to stay to help clean up for Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who were always like second parents to you as well. They had a thing for taking in kids who needed love. With your best efforts, you can’t seem to escape James, who has incessantly trailed behind you into every room you walk into. You dodge him again as you walk down the hall, but James, who has always been a chaser in more ways than one grabs you by the arm and pushes you into his childhood bedroom.

A shriek leaves you as he closes the door and has you up against the wall.

“What the fu—”

“You’re avoiding me. Why are you avoiding me?” his face is panicked as his breath hits your face.

“You told me to leave you alone. That’s what I’m doing now, James. What else could you want from me?” Your hands are on his chest, crinkling the dress shirt that you once helped him pick out at the shops, and you feel breathless, angry at knowing him too well, and angry at what he’s insinuating.

James is at a loss. He loves you. He’s never gone more than a weekend without you and now it’s been ages…. And he loves you. He’s looking at you differently now, in the sunlight that floods through his old bedroom. He loves you so much that it hurts.

His hands slide from the wall behind you, until they reach your shoulders, and trace down your arms. Intertwining your fingers together, James speaks.

“I didn’t mean…” he exhales. “I just…”

“Did you not want me here too? Because unfortunately, my friends are also yours, so maybe we can clarify exactly the terms you want me to follow next time, James.” you seethe, getting in his face.

You push him away, his arms chasing after you, pining for your touch. Your heart is racing with hurt, with anger, with love, all for the man standing across the room.

“Peanut…”

“No.”

“I never want you to leave me alone, okay? It’s been agony without you and I can’t even put into words how—”

“I can, James. How long have I been so oblivious to the fact that I’m in love with you and how long have you just let it happen? You can’t just… please don’t pretend that you don’t know that I’ve been waiting all my life for you to let me fill the empty spaces in your heart.” Your voice wavers as you pull yourself away from him, sitting on his bed.

“Just tell me what’s happening, Peanut. You’ve always had the answers. I feel like I can’t breathe when you’re not there and I….. my heart feels like it’s going to combust… I… I just feel…. so intensely. I miss who I am when I’m with you.”

James throws himself down onto the bed, hyperventilating with his head in his hands. Your hands are shaking as you reach for him. You’ll always reach for him.

He raises his head, as you delicately grab his face into your hands. Your fingertips brush his tears away, loving him for the mess he is.

“My life has been so quiet these past few days and I’m so scared to live life without you. Did I fuck it all up for us?” You whisper.

James licks his lips, and he’s playing with your hair in his hands. Your knees are touching on the patterned bedspread. The space between you diminishes as you realize that he’s about to ruin everything.

Your best friend is going to kiss you.

He’s holding your jaw so gently and for a second, you wonder if this is what it would feel like to be loved by him in the way that you do. With every single ounce of control, you turn your head away from what you’ve been craving most. James’ lips land on your cheek, and he’s chasing after you again, muttering apologies as he looks into your eyes and sees everything he’s been wanting. He sees his whole life with you through the split second your eyes connect. Pushing him away again, you stumble away with a sob.

“What was that?”

“I just… “ He’s gasping for air, feeling like his heart has exploded, and the silence is so loud that he feels like his heart must be in pieces, and you’re picking up the wreckage to take home. He’s in love with you. His heart has always been yours.

“You what, James? Don’t do that!”

He’s lived in a mansion his whole life but Godric, is this room suddenly feeling too small? You get on your feet, stepping away from him and he’s following you.

“Do what?”

“Don’t make me hate you, Jelly. Loving you has been painful enough.” Tears are blurring your vision as you hiccup, and maybe it’s better to not see him right now. Maybe you really shouldn’t have come.

“I just wanted to know. I know now, love, I…” James whimpers at the sound of his nickname. Your nickname for him alone has this man wanting to drop to his knees.

“No. Don’t you know how cruel you’re being right now? To me? To the love of your life? I would never do that to Lily!” Your voice is getting louder by the minute, and James is stoic in his silence, steps away from your blaze.

“But you told me you’re in love with me. Are you saying this is because of me?”

“Everything I do is because of you, James. And if you don’t know that by now…” Then maybe you don’t know me at all.

The words go unsaid but the both of you are hit with the reality of it. Your hands jangle the doorknob to get away from him, to be anywhere but here.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 1

Lily listens intently as James tells her everything he's been wanting to say for the last eleven years. She's not surprised, in fact, she knows this is the truth, but she's still heartbroken. Lily Evans and James Potter are both people who like to chase things, people—but after all that’s said and done, the thrill wears off. They’re more alike than they’ll ever know.

He tries to apologize, but Lily cuts him off and tells him there's no need. She's always known the truth, and even though it took him this long, she's glad he finally figured it out. Smartest girl of their year, after all.

“I mean, I always felt like she should’ve been dating you, but then we happened and I fell too hard and didn’t stop to ask questions. I tried to be blind to it, but…it was nice, wasn’t it?” Lily whispers, holding James’ hand for the last time. He looks like he’s about to pass out.

“I’ll be okay, Potter. I was before you, and I will be after you. So thank you for being honest. You’ve always been honest with me.” A small kiss on his cheek renders him breathless. Once upon a time, he would stay up all night at the idea of Lily Evans loving him. But his heart has always belonged to you. Without a doubt, James Potter is in love with you, his best friend.

He doesn’t tell Lily he was planning to propose tomorrow, since the situation is already as messy as it is. But Lily Evans always knows.

—

JAMES HAS A PROPOSAL

James is pushing boxes back into Potter Manor, and Mippy helps flit the rest of his belongings up the stairs with magic. The least he could do is give Lily their apartment after their breakup. He looks around, rubbing his fingers of dust as his mother calls him for dinner. How humbling, he thinks, to start all over because he was too stupid to realize he’s in love. Starting over in a place he calls home is absurd. He looks out towards the courtyard where you had your fairytale wedding, walks by the hallways you used to race training broomsticks in, and back to his room where he used to whisper hushed lullabies to help you sleep. Everything reminds him of you, and your love consumes each memory that flickers through his vision. The feeling shocks him like ripping your head out of a pensieve. He’s so utterly in love with you.

What the hell is he doing at his parents’ house? He should be getting his girl! James apparates to your apartment, knocking on the door like a madman. He knocks so loudly the wood is bruising his knuckles, red blooming under his touch.

The door rips open, and he’s never been so glad to see you angry.

“You literally have a key, James. You don’t have to be a dick every—”

“You’re wrong.”

Your frustration gives way, lines on your forehead wrinkling in confusion. It’s like there’s a glass separating the both of you, and you’re scared to touch him.

You shake your head as he continues, “You’re wrong, by the way. I don’t know if Lily’s the love of my life. I haven’t lived it with her, nor will I. What I do know is that I’ve loved you for most of mine.”

“What are you saying, Jelly,” you utter, and James’ is grinning so largely you want to punch his face in.

“I love you. As in I’m in love with you. Without any doubt, or excuses, or anyone holding me back, my heart is yours, if you’ll have me?”

He rushes to catch you, his proposal hitting you hard as you fall into his embrace, hands feeling as much of him as you can. His broad shoulders, his strong neck, the dimples on his cheek, the glasses on his face—all of him is in love with you.

Your blubbering is muffled as he finally pulls his lips to yours, finally feeling, finally… James’ kiss lays out all of what he’s been holding in, and without words you both understand that this wreckage in your beating hearts, the destruction of everything you’ve set together as best friends, is love. He’s clutching you to his body, moving you backward into your apartment, feet moving in sync like an orchestrated dance. You both fall onto your couch in a fit of laughter and tears. Finally.

“How foolish of me to be with another, Peanut. I’m a married man, after all.”

"Not bad for a second kiss, Jelly." You laugh at him.

James looks at your smile like it’s the answer to every question he’ll ask in this life.

—

“We give those we love nicknames, because love requires a word that belongs to us alone.” Fredrik Backman

tagged: @prongs-moon @alltheotherkidss @anehkael @princessprongs

[illiana-mystery]

Every Time Fred was a (Medical) Doctor