and if I said that dennis’ insistence on being the breadwinner/provider despite literally being a pampered princess who dgaf about traditional roles of masculinity in every other regard (aside from ego) is because his mom only stayed with/chose frank for his wealth and dennis is highly aware that he’s difficult to love and unable to show his emotions openly so he has to be contributing something to the relationship materially in order to feel like he’s worth staying for… and mac grew up with parents who were extremely ambivalent to him and eachother so he has to overcompensate by proving his worth at every given moment and seeking praise/validation from people (and religious icons) who will never demonstrate the same amount of dedication to him but he has no idea how else to desperately keep himself close to those he loves other than by eroding himself into something they’ll approve of… dear god they’re both exactly what the other needs — someone who can’t and won’t leave them even if they try — and they don’t even see it…
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so I realized that around this time of the year is already past my 1 year anniversary of being hyperfixated on Rob?? time flies
this is the timeline of how it happened according to some vague memories:
1. i happen to see some random video of The Rerun on like, YouTube I think
2. me: hmm i think that one eyed guy is giving some real gender envy– wait. oh no. its happening. he's the new Chosen One, isn't he
3. im not hyperfixated im not hyperfixated im not–
4. I AM SO FUCKING HYPERFIXATED I LOVE ROB FROM TAWOG HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!
5. rob is a major part of my life and my headspace now. i couldn't stop if I tried, because some part of my brain views him as an actual close friend, and therefore abandoning this hyperfixation would feel extremely cruel. i would never do that to him and therefore he will be my imaginary bestie/adoptive son forever. i will never grow out of it. i am perfectly okay with that
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I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.
Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.
Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.
And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).
But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.
So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.
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Messily written trans Laios headcanons(?). My sense of vocabulary has gone kaput... I couldnt make it a comic but I drew one of the bullet points as a garnish
-Taken just fine by his parents since he seemed like a more suitable heir than Falin. Given father's old clothes but couldn't stand to borrow Falin's outerwear because it felt like he was stealing < she doesnt GAF
-The village chief neglected to tell anyone about his children's personal lives as he only keeps to himself and doesn't often appear with his family. There weren't many people (including children) Falin and Laios frequently socialized with either, so neighbors mainly chalked the sudden change up to misremembering them.
-Raised very traditionally as a man though in a more reserved manner due to his father's nature, who could only take from his own personal experiences. While it should feel gratifying on the surface, it all vaguely felt as if he was trying to bury something. Such an approach harbored feelings of guilt as Laios thought he was being "ungrateful", and tried to focus on the opportunity to find a place for himself and Falin. In later years, he'd find many aspects of masculinity and gender roles presented to him by his peers too arbitrary compared to monsters.
-By the time he's settled with Falin he's given the time to take things at his own pace and actually address his trans identity as it felt widely overlooked. Only tape-binds in the dungeon. In any other case he does not often use it. Does not fit into any specific binary. Can only be described by his own definition. It isn't "like" anything. No op. Will always keep the "older brother" title. Shortly after he starts opening up about his passion he'll have to uncover his nagging discomfort of wanting to transform into something else entirely.
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