#Hospital on Tuesday though so I'm nervous for that

[cxpperhead]

Talking to @question-marked (and previously @2ndbat) really got me thinking about B.atman B.eyond and the possibility that King Cobra from the Splicers episode is totally C.opperhead's grandson.

[gdbatbitch]

Surgery happened on Tuesday! So my thyroid is now gone, along with some suspicious looking lymph nodes. The surgeon, Dr Lawrence Shirley at Baptist Health, was wonderful and has genuine concern for my progress. He told me that what was removed will be examined/tested by a pathologist to see if there may be any other issues, but hopefully this will be all I need to start healing. Hopefully. I'm not saying anything for certain.

The surgery itself was pretty easy on me. The only other time I've had major surgery like this was almost 24 years ago, when my twin daughters were born. That was a much different experience, but I have strong memories of the hospital staff at University of Kentucky hospital, and most of those memories are not positive. I'll just leave it at that. Baptist has been great so far. Everyone I've interacted with has been kind and made me feel like I was being genuinely cared for. Especially the nurse I was assigned Wednesday morning, Cody. He and I had a few conversations about the economy and comic books and movies, and that really helped me stay positive even though I was in pain.

I am still in a lot of pain. Swallowing hurts, as well as turning my head, leaning, bending over, or sitting up in bed. I tried a couple of times this morning before just rolling myself over to the side so I had more leverage to stand. I also apparently talked way too much yesterday because by the end of the day, my voice was all hoarse and that was causing pain as well. So I think today is going to be a quieter day.

I'm also going to be able to take off the bandage on my incision today and see how that goes. I'm kind of dreading that, even though I am curious to see what it looks like. I'm not afraid of having a scar, I have several as it is. It's just I have this weird fear of the incision opening up on its own. That comes from when I was recovering from the C-section and a staple that was holding the incision closed popped. It didn't really cause any problems, but I had nightmares that my guts could just fall out at any moment. Logically I know that's not going to happen, but the gremlins that control my anxiety levels are having a blast making me paranoid.

At this point, I'm at just around a third of the way toward my goal. I've already had to use what I've raised so far to keep the bills paid and pay for part of the surgery. The hospital has put me on an installment plan that will have me paying about $300 a month for 18 months. That is so far outside my budget, so I'm going to be pushing this fundraiser more, and I'd really love it if those of you that have already donated to share this page and encourage your friends to do the same. The more eyes we get on this, the better.

Right now my bank account is looking sad and since I'm missing time from work, my next paycheck is going to be just a little over half of what I usually bring home. It's only the 19th now, but I'm already nervous about being able to make November's rent. And I know things are tight for everyone, so even the smallest donations can make a big difference to me. A $5 donation is just as good as a $500 donation, and I'm grateful for all of them.

I'm grateful for all of you, for all you've done for me, whether it's a donation or words of support or a phone call, all of it. I usually feel like I'm taking on the world all by my lonesome, but I do feel very much supported and cared for thanks to all of you.

Please enjoy my post-op selfie and the grippy socks I absolutely took home with me. I'm wearing them now and I love them. I'm going to be doing nothing but resting today, since I overdid a little yesterday. Later taters.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday Evening all :) We're off to next ep its more of a mixture of Tim/Lucy and Rachel. Not a ton of gifs or Chenford content. Be a shorter review than normal but it is a good ep none the less though. We'll have a ton of content/gifs in the next couple as you all know i'm sure. So off we go.

2x09 Breaking Point

The episode starts out with Lucy being stopped by a sweet old lady in the lobby. She lets Lucy know how she found this dog in the middle of the road. Lucy tells her that it's an animal control issue. Sweet lady say yes but he was covered in blood. Figured she should let them know about it. Lucy stops Tim lets him know they need to head to a vet. That this dog could’ve come from a crime scene.

They make it to the address on the chip and knock on the door. No answer. Lucy decides to look inside where she then sees a body. Now I shouldn’t get so much joy out of her slightly touching his arm…and yet I adore it. She does this to get his attention that they should enter the house.

Tim kicks the door in (fans self) They start to inspect the house and check the body. Unfortunately this person has already passed. They continue their search and sadly find a child hiding in the bathroom. Poor thing is rocking back and forth in the bathtub.

Lucy tries to get Malcom to talk to her. See if he’ll tell her who killed his mom. He is unresponsive and refusing to talk. Detective Armstrong shows up and lets them know it makes sense. He did a record search, That police and social services have been out to this house half a dozen times in the last year.

That the BF and the mom had domestic calls numerous times. That’s where they find out Rachel was the caseworker for this particular kid. Armstrong advises them to go to Rachel and get all the history they can on this kid and case.

Rachel meets them at the hospital gives them all she knows. That this kid had lots of visits, the BF wasn’t physically abusive, and that the mom was the eye of the storm. She tried to get this kid removed but couldn’t get a judge to sign off for her. Tim lets her know they’re going to need a statement from him. Rachel wants to be present for that. (Must note personal space doesn’t exist for them even in front of the woman he’s currently dating LOL that is all…)

Tim tries to comfort her. Rachel is clearly shaken by the whole thing. Especially since she was so close to this one. He is telling her she did everything she could. Rachel doesn’t feel the same. Here's what I liked about seeing how he is with Rachel. It gave us a little insight to how Tim is in a relationship. He wants to help her feel better because she is visibly shook from this. Which is really sweet. That instinct to protect and make things better for those he cares about. Unfortunately it misses the mark but he definitely recognized the distress and wanted to help her.

The statement begins for Malcom. It’s fascinating to watch everyone’s reaction during this scene. You can see everyone's body language from this shot above. It all unravels when Malcom finally starts speaking. Armstrong is clearly trying to get him to spill his guts, Rachel is protective but catching onto this going sideways quickly, Lucy is also on that train and looking worried about this, Tim looks in cop mode just like Armstrong trying to get the truth.

The more Malcom talks the more something seems off. He’s more angry about his mother and defensive of the BF Carson than anything else. They’re all putting it together quickly when Malcom says Carson left after their fight. That his mom was alive after Carson left….that no one else came over after that. You can see Rachel getting nervous and Lucy getting uncomfortable. Tim is also dreading where this is headed.

Rachel tells Armstrong to stop. Tim says 'Rachel...'. Tries to get her to not interfere in the process. Nick tells Rachel she doesn’t have the standing to make that request. You can see all over Lucy’s face how wrong she finds this. Rachel tells him to ask for a lawyer. Tim and Nick chide her for it. Lucy jumps in and says she’s right. Both men look at her in shock.

Lucy continues that he should have a lawyer for this. You can see Tim and Armstrong aren’t pleased with this suggestion. Nick looks outright livid about it. Then asks if Malcom wants one. He looks at Rachel and says yes. Lucy looks like she is in trouble but not regretting it one bit. She shouldn’t it was the right thing to do.

Tim tells Rachel he’s not mad at her personally. I really don’t think he is. There is a part of him that can relate. A verbally abusive parent pushing you to the edge. Luckily Tim had his sister someone to go through it with him. I’m sure having Genny is probably is part of what saved him from a similar fate with his dad. He had someone to protect. But that’s a future convo to be had in greater detail later on. Wesley shows up and gets involved at this point for Malcom. Making Rachel sit it out. He represents him now not her.

Tim and Lucy watch from observation moving forward. Lucy asks him if he’s mad at her for suggesting the lawyer. I think it's fairly obvious he is from his body language alone. Now I think she’s more upset with the idea he’s mad at her. Not that she feels she did the wrong thing. It distresses her but not enough to change her stance on what she did.

This is definitely growth for her. She’s becoming more confident in herself and the decisions she makes. (Even if she does hate him being upset with her) Just because it’s not way Tim would’ve liked it to go doesn’t necessarily mean it was wrong. I get why Tim didn’t want her to from a logical standpoint. It does give him time to change his story, strategize and possibly get away with murder. Tim is thinking from the victims POV where Lucy is thinking from Malcom’s.

They’re diametrically opposed on this one. He’s madder at Lucy than Rachel about the whole thing. Because at the end of the day right now she’s still his Rookie he her T.O. (Also why it NEVER would’ve worked for them during this period.) Lucy was always going to be her own person and cop. Even if it differs from Tim. It's one of the reasons he falls for her honestly.

Even though they’ve been working together awhile now, he still gets shell shocked when she disagrees with him. Especially when he feels it’s something he wouldn’t ever do. We know how true blue he is to the rules. Especially to what he feels is essential to being a cop. So when Lucy rocks that boat it’s going to upset him. Her testing those waters and disturbing his POV of what it is to be a cop. Her pushing those boundaries with him. Testing his teaching of her and what he think's is essential.

Her challenging him is what causes the back and forth. That tension and release we get. The thing with Chenford is we surge forward with some growth and we also get pushed back a little. That old saying two steps forward one step back. Every time we get a little breakthrough, like the last ep the next we get little push back. Honestly don’t think he expected Lucy to tell the kid to lawyer up. It shocked him. The last episode Tim was slowly allowing Lucy in. Then our step backwards is in this ep his intense reaction to Lucy not following his code on this.

This is the dance they do. Tim softens a bit then pushes away (his reaction to the lawyer situation) before she softens him again. Why the wall takes 4 years to truly crumble for her. It’s realistic and what makes their end game ultimately so satisfying IMO. So this is one of those steps back, in terms of how he’s reacting more severely to Lucy than Rachel.

It’s not a bad thing just a part of that push and pull that is our ship. Tim takes awhile to truly let Lucy in. With his background it's not surprising his reactions are so strong. Especially after letting her in a little more last ep he tends to scold himself for it and backtracks. Oh my poor broken Tim you'll get there.

Sadly Armstrong breaks the kid pretty easily. He breaks and says he killed her after she laughed at him for crying. The verbal abuse finally made him snap. So damn sad....Tim’s scenes end with Rachel. Trying to keep her from beating herself up. This moment further evidence of his growth. He does relate to this kid. He too grew up in a verbally abusive home. His feelings were disregarded and he was put down. Tim lets her know nothing more she could’ve been done.

That tragedies happen no matter how hard we try to stop them. Then comes a very Lucy inspired reply. You can’t tell me this woman hasn’t influenced him. Tim goes on to say ‘Doesn’t mean you give up. But you have to accept the fact, that some things really are out of our control. All we can do is cherish the small victories.’ Tim friggin Bradford said this. Lucy has no idea the impact she’s had on him. Truly. Such a good scene of emotional growth for him. Lovely to see. Tis all she wrote for this one.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Another good ep for Harper. More development for her and her daughter. First sleep over and such. It’s so fun to watch her SL. Truly enjoy it.

Thank you as always to those who like/comment/reblog these reviews. I truly appreciate every single one of them. You have no idea. I shall see you all in the start of our 2 parter for the DOD eps. Those will be exciting to review and write about. They are an iconic set of eps for them and the series really IMO. I will do my best to do them justice <3

[onewizardgirl]

Hermione is so glad McGonagall understands

Help!

Transfiguration was a class that Hermione favored most. Due to professor McGonagall teaching the subject. Each house can vouch how awesome it is to have class with your head of house.

Hermione had grown close to McGonagall after her second year when the Scottish woman helped Hermione with her first period. This meant that McGonagall never questioned Hermione's tardiness if she had to take care of herself, it also meant McGonagall was extremely leniant with Hermione if she got that panicked look in her eyes during class and immediately asked to go to the bathroom.

Hermione sat down in class that Friday afternoon she immediately regretted leaving her robes in the dorm after lunch despite having potions prior to transfiguration. She sat down and tried to think over the best course of action

McGonagall noticed the look in Hermione's rue seemed panicked and anxious, a little more than usual. She awaited Hermione's ask for the bathroom but it didn't come.

Hermione had no clue what to do, she had ran out of products last month and had expected to be able to buy them before her next cycle. Not to mention she was 3 days early anyway and the next hogsmeade trip was tomorrow.

Once McGonagall released students to their spell work Hermione scribbled a note and asked her professor over.

The Gryffindor girl slipped the note to Minerva and asked to pronounce the spell as a cover.

After returning to her desk Minerva read the neat handwriting on the note

Professor, I've been caught in a rather tough situation. My period just came on and I don't have anything on me to take care of it. If I stand up people behind me will also know I'm on. I need some help. Hermione

Minerva felt for the girl and proceeded to check if she had any products in her desk. She remembered quickly after she began looking she gave the last pad to a desperate Hufflepuff a few hours earlier.

She scribbled a reply and slipped it back to Hermione as she walked past observing the students.

Hermione, I'm so sorry dear I don't have any supplies either. I'll transfigure a jumper for you to tie around yourself but you'll need to go to madame pomfrey. Don't worry though I'll create a cover for you so you can make a sneaky getaway. Minerva

Hermione looked at Minerva and nodded lightly

"Come up students I'll demonstrate the next spell you will be learning, come on everyone to the front of the class" McGonagall announced. As students began to crowd the desk Minerva did a little of her wandless magic to transfigure a scarf into a jumper and Hermione quickly grabbed it and headed off without a single soul noticing.

Once Hermione had slipped into the hallway she sighed relieved. She then made her way to madame pomfrey to get what she needed for the day until she could get to hogsmeade tomorrow

When she entered the hospital wing madame pomfrey looked her over and then began asking questions.

"why miss Granger! Why aren't you in class; what's happened dear?" Madame pomfrey asked fussing over the girl looking for injuries.

"Im in a bit of a pickle y'see. I got my period earlier than I expected and I ran out of products last month and had intended on buying more on tomorrow's trip to hogsmeade because I didn't think I'd start until Tuesday, but I started today and I need some help. Professor McGonagall sent me because I asked her for help and she didn't have anything to help me so she sent me to you and made a cover so no one would know I left. " Hermione explained to the matron

"oh goodness dear, let's get you put right then, and if you'd like I'll excuse you from your afternoon classes so you can rest." Poppy told the young witch, smiling a bit at her nervous behavior, remembering her own nervous behavior when faced with a similar situation.

"believe it or not you're not the first one to have been caught in this situation. Many of the second year girls rely on me to keep stocked on what they need through the year until they're allowed to shop for themselves in hogsmeade. Which means I have a closet filled with any type of product you could possibly want. It seems to have become increasingly common for any of the quidditch girls on their period during a game to come before the game and get a tampon from me. And it all started with Angelina, she was desperate for a tampon in her 3rd year when Gryffindor was playing Slytherin.. they had lost to Slytherin once before and it wasn't looking good with their seeker out with the dragonpox. But they won the game even with a temp seeker, and then the next game Angelina came back yet again for a tampon and they won again. So she did it a third time and when they won 3 games in a row. She started coming in before every game, other teams found out about the luck so if it's both teams who come in for a tampon then it's an even match if only one girl whichever team she plays for will win." Poppy told recalling the story.

Hermione giggled a little at the thought of a lucky tampon but hey if it worked then she wouldn't dodge it.

"go on and take whatever you need, there's an extra skirt back there too if you want. Your afternoon professors are flitwick and sprout correct?" Pomfrey asked the girl as she picked through the boxes to find just what she was looking for, a box of muggle tampons.

"yes, miss. And thank you. I didn't mean to trouble you If I did." Hermione said being kind as usual

"it's no problem my love, come see me before dinner if you need a pain potion for your cramps." Poppy said as Hermione left the office and headed to the Gryffindor dormitories to take a long nap.

It had been a rough day and dealing with her period without her products on hand as she needed them made her particularly stressed out and now she was exhausted.

[tarlos-spain]

Whump Tarlos Week Day 3

Tuesday, Nov 1 Prompts: CARLOS REYES WHUMP: Carlos being the reckless one and getting hurt.

Title: You, me and something is coming

Summary: "What happened?" asked Tommy, and he knelt down next to Carlos and took his vitals.

"I don't know...well, yes, we were helping an old lady who couldn't get the car started. When the lady left, we went back to the car and Carlos said he felt sick, dizzy. I didn't have time to do anything, he suddenly collapsed here in front of me."

"Carlos, Carlos, can you hear me?" said Tommy trying to get the policeman's attention, but there was no reaction. "Pupils normal, but he has a racing heart; high blood pressure... Carlos? No response. Nancy, we need to get him to the hospital, his vitals are accelerating."

"His heart?" asked Lexi, trying not to sound nervous.

"I'm not sure."

Capítulo 01:

The warning Tommy and Nancy received in the ambulance worried them. An unconscious policeman in the street. They knew that always made TK nervous, and even though he wasn't with them now, there was always that fear that something had happened to Carlos.

TK was at home, tucked up in bed with a migraine he hadn't shaken off for three days and, for once, there being only two of us in the ambulance was good news, so they didn't have to worry about him too.

This time, the cop they had to take care of was indeed Carlos.

Lexi was with him, kneeling next to him, and she had put his jacket on and lowered his head to make him more comfortable. She held up her hands toward Tommy and Nancy to come closer, even though they had already grabbed the ambulance bags and were running toward them.

"What happened?" asked Tommy, and he knelt down next to Carlos and took his vitals.

"I don't know...well, yes, we were helping an old lady who couldn't get the car started. When the lady left, we went back to the car and Carlos said he felt sick, dizzy. I didn't have time to do anything, he suddenly collapsed here in front of me."

"Carlos, Carlos, can you hear me?" said Tommy trying to get the policeman's attention, but there was no reaction. "Pupils normal, but he has a racing heart; high blood pressure... Carlos? No response. Nancy, we need to get him to the hospital, his vitals are accelerating."

"His heart?" asked Lexi, trying not to sound nervous.

"I'm not sure."

Tommy motioned for Nancy to put Carlos on the gurney between the two of them. Back in the ambulance, while Nancy drove, she rechecked his vitals, placed an IV in his arm in case it was needed, and checked his temperature, which was a little higher than normal.

Carlos groaned and shook his head. He slowly opened his eyes and froze for a moment to see that he was in an ambulance and that Tommy was there, running tests. He groaned again and put his hand to his chest.

"What...what happened?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out while we take you to the hospital."

"Hospital? Why?" Carlos closed his eyes, squeezed them tightly shut. "My chest... Tommy, my chest is burning."

Tommy checked his vitals again and noticed they were higher. "Nancy, we're having palpitations, can we go a little faster?"

"Palpitations? Tommy, what's wrong with me?"

Keep reading in AO3

[thispabulum-blog]

Old Business

What's the Tea? Tuesday

I had promised to tell you about how the date with Chex Mix went.

Background: He and I matched over the summer on OkCupid. He was super cute, roughly my age, seemed like fun. He messaged me first, asking what role I'd like him to play in our relationship. I'm not necessarily looking for someone to date both Cuddlebug and myself, but I won't say no to it. Our taste in guys doesn't overlap much, but we both thought he was super cute.

Chex Mix and I chatted occasionally over the next few months. He'd been very badly injured in an accident the previous year, and was still on a year-long stay in a rehab hospital when we started talking, so he was bored a lot of the time, stir-crazy, and ready to get out.

The issue that I had with him was that his messages, more often than not, were Very Adult.

It was difficult to carry on a PG conversation with him - though when we did, it was nice: books, gardening, cooking. I sympathized, because he'd been stuck in the hospital and unable to socialize for a long time. That's a lot of pent up energy.

And it wasn't just Very Adult, it was Highly Kinky stuff that was beyond anything I've ever been interested in, so it was all a bit much. These were not flirty, suggestive messages; they were explicit, hardcore content.

I put off meeting up with him in person because I wasn't entirely confident being around him - especially after what happened with Gingerbread.

The compromise came when Chex Mix started taking more of an interest in Cuddlebug, and he had a lot of ideas that sounded very cute and hot, and I like the idea of delivering cute boys to him. I figured it'd be easy enough to have a date with the three of us, and then I'd have an escape route if things weren't going well.

So we set a date. The plan was to go over to Chex Mix's house, play some board games, maybe watch something. Just get comfortable with each other and find out if there was any chemistry.

Cuddlebug and I got dressed up, made the confusing drive out to the super bougie neighborhood where Chex Mix lives with his grandma, and waited uncomfortably on the front porch in the dark for 10 - 15 minutes because we weren't 100% sure if we had the right house and Chex Mix wasn't answering his phone.

When we finally got inside, I was surprised to see that he was in a wheelchair. I knew he had mobility issues because of the accident, but he hadn't mentioned the chair (not that it's a problem, I just thought he would have brought it up at some point in several months of talking). We spent some time loving on his super cute dog, which is always a good buffer for allowing people to get comfortable with each other.

He was obviously nervous and trying very hard, which was sweet. He asked if we wanted something to drink, and we accepted, so he made us a protein smoothie. It was actually really good, though an odd choice. Then he laid out a bunch of food he'd made, chili con queso and open-face sandwiches. It was all really delicious; I've never gotten so spoiled on a date.

He had a bunch of board games laid out so that we had options to choose from, and I picked one that seemed fun and not too complicated.

This is where things started to get...less good.

Cuddlebug and I were trying to be fun and interesting. I asked if I could put on some music (I hate silence), and used the Bluetooth speaker I had brought with me for that purpose. We had gotten through a couple of songs when Chex Mix shouted out to his Google speaker to play something from one of his playlists, and the music started playing over mine. I made some passive-aggressive comment like "Oh okay, I guess we're done listening to my music" that Cuddlebug heard but Chex Mix either didn't hear or just ignored. (His Google speaker only played one song and then it was back to silence, so eventually I put my music back on without comment and he didn't seem to notice that either).

The board game wasn't bad (it would have been fun with more people, I think) but he kept holding it up - we'd be waiting on him to take an action or use his turn, but he'd be talking or petting the dog (I'm talking 5 - 10 minutes at a time). It was kind of annoying, and people not paying attention during board games is a pet peeve of mine. Not to mention, the only things he talked about were other board games and his injuries. It was like he just couldn't move past it.

Eventually I decided it would be best to redirect before I got too frustrated to continue being nice, and suggested that we go watch something in his room. I figured maybe he'd be more comfortable if he could lay down and didn't need to actively participate in doing something.

And with that we progressed to the cuddly part of the date, which is usually my favorite.

For the record, Cuddlebug and I are excellent at affection. We're goddamn world-class cuddlers - soft, cute, flirty little marshmallows.

But Chex Mix was having none of it. He just kept talking about board games and his injuries, stretching his bad arm. Cuddlebug was being very sweet, using his femme voice, and giving him every opportunity to make a move or let something happen, but it just...wasn't.

Admittedly, I got a little impatient. Cuddlebug gave up, and we switched places so that I was in the middle. I was a little more bold with Chex Mix, and he seemed to be enjoying kissing me, but was not receptive to Cuddlebug. Whenever I tried something, he gave me "I just need some space, I need time, I want to know you" until I admitted defeat. We left shortly thereafter, very confused, and complained the whole way home.

Cuddlebug wrote him off immediately; told me he wasn't willing to hang out with him again until/unless he loosened up. I wanted to take a slightly more diplomatic approach. The next day I sent Chex Mix a message, apologizing if we were too pushy or forward. He responded that there was no problem, he'd had a nice time with us.

And then I haven't heard from him since.

Clearly, he just wasn't ready. And I sympathize with that, I really do. It was such a conflicting set of emotions, because I know what it's like to have your hormones get ahead of what you're actually willing to do, but it also felt like I'd been misled. "Sexually catfished" is the term I used. It was the Fyre Fest of dates.

What did we learn?

This is one of the reasons why I don't like to talk sex with people before we spend time together. People often say a lot of stuff when there's distance, when there's a screen to hide behind. But then in person (or even with the possibility of meeting up), it's more vulnerable, and people feel like they can't/won't live up. It has happened to me many times - and I've been on both sides! In my experience, it's best to keep it in your pants until you've at least looked each other in the eye and had a conversation.

[marvelsswansong]

I need more protective Eddie munson in my life! 😫 could you maybe do a request for me where she just got a car and they're driving around and maybe get into a wreck? Then he's a wreck bc he's worried about her.

tags: Eddie x fem!reader, descriptions of blood and physical injuries, heavy angst at the beginning but happy ending, lots of fluff don't worry, your friends being awesome (Steve, Robin, Nancy and Jonathan), Hopper being a protective father figure as always, light descriptions of weed usage, inaccurate descriptions of what happens in an ER.....

☆ word count: 3.2K+ ☆

a/n: omg anon yesssss - I changed the prompt a teeny bit to make the story work but I loved this idea and I loved being able to write worried/protective Eddie 😭😘

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

Eddie's leaning by the side of his trailer, watching lazily as whispy puffs of air from the end of his lit joint disappear into the night sky. It's a quiet night and there's not much on his mind - maybe except for the date he's planned with you tomorrow, and the adorable way you'd smiled when he'd revealed that he'd planned a picnic for the two of you.

The silence is then interrupted when he hears the horrible sounds of tires screeching by the road. Eddie frowns - it's nine pm on a Tuesday, who could be in such a rush?

Then Steve appears from the clearing in between the trees, running like a madman, frantically looking around at the rows of trailers before his eyes narrow in on Eddie. Eddie quickly disregards his joint and places steadying hands on Steve's shoulders, attempting to calm his friend down.

"Woah, Harrington, what's the rush-"

"(Y/n)." is all Steve can get out in between harsh breaths, doubling over and breathing harshly in pain as he's out of breath. Eddie's veins go ice cold at the mention of your name, his mind immediately flipping through the worst scenarios imaginable as his hands drop involuntarily.

"W-what about her?"

"There was an accident. She's in the emergency room and they're not letting any of us fucking see her because we're not family-"

Before Steve can even finish his sentence Eddie is dashing to his van and pulling out from the driveway, his only focus on reaching the hospital in record time. He's not sure how many traffic laws he's violating as he swerves corners, cuts off vehicles and runs red lights, but he can't find it in himself to give a single fuck. There's an anxious ringing in his head, a pit forming in his stomach, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that his skin is turning red.

When he finally bursts into the hospital room, Steve's quick to follow, having followed behind Eddie in his own vehicle. It's not hard to locate the others - Robin is pacing back and forth anxiously, Jonathan is sitting next to Nancy and trying to comfort her, and Hopper is desperately trying to get the nurse to let them see you. It's an absolute mess of nervous adults, the tension in the room thick, as Eddie quickly runs up to Hopper and taps him on the shoulder.

"What's going on?" he asks the older man, who sighs in frustration.

"Since her parents are out of town and being her emergency contact isn't enough to grant access, they're not letting me in to see her."

The nurse behind them both frowns, an apologetic smile on her tired face.

"I'm really sorry, sir, but it's standard procedure that during intensive surgery we limit visitors to immediate family members. Though, if you and your party are willing to wait, we'll be able to let you in once she's in a more stable state."

"How long will that take?" Robin asks, to which the nurse looks down at her notes before looking back up.

"It'll depend on how the current surgery goes... but it's not uncommon for it to take about five to six hours."

Eddie's blood is burning, he feels as if he can't breathe - you're in some cold dark room, on the brink of your life, being prodded and operated on. And they want him to wait five to six hours before he can hold your hand and assure you it's all going to be okay? It's a horrific thought, one he can't bear.

Hopper gives up, nodding quietly before sitting back down to thumb through a random magazine on the waiting room table, but Eddie's persistent. A dangerous idea then creeps into his mind.

"Could I see (Y/n) (L/n), please?" he asks quietly, causing the nurse raises her eyebrow in suspicision.

"Your relationship to the patient?" she questions and Eddie hopes she can't see through his next lie.

"She's my fiancée."

The lie rolls off his tongue too easily and he can feel Hopper and his friends' suprised gazes burn into his back, as Eddie smiles and gestures to the ring on his right hand: golden metal with a bumblebee shaped ornament in the middle. He'd gotten you a matching one for your birthday last year, and you'd jokingly put it on your ring finger when Eddie had teased it wasn't your engagement ring 'yet.'

"She has an identical one on her left hand. We got engaged last December." Eddie continues as the nurse narrows her eyes at the ring.

The nurse then turns to whisper to another employee, who nods before disappearing into the back room. After a few tense minutes, the employee returns, nodding and confirming that you indeed look to be wearing an engagement ring matching Eddie's.

"Alright then. You'll have to stay behind the red line, but you're allowed to observe her from afar. But you must leave if any of the doctors order you to do so."

Eddie shoots a confident look at his friends - assuring them that he'll be fine and that he'll keep them updated on your condition - before wordlessly following behind the nurse, his body nearly shaking with anxiety. The room he's led to feels miles away, the sterile stench of disenfectant and harsh cleaning products filling the air as he walks down the endless white corridor. Finally, the nurse stops, before opening up a set of doors leading to the surgery room.

His heart feels as if a dagger's been plunged into it with the greatest force imaginable. Through the glass window separating him from the actual room, he can make out your face - bruised, scratched, your hair matted with blood - and almost nothing else as the rest of your body is practically covered under blankets of surgical tarp. There's a whole team of people rushing around you with all kinds of equipment, an IV machine dripping fluids into your left arm and your heartbeat monitor beeping obnoxiously.

Eddie swallows nervously when he sees that there's so much blood. He doesn't know if you've broken any bones or what the extent of the damage is, but the amount of blood staining the sheets is enough of an indicator. When his eyes narrow in on the little glint on your finger - the gold ring on your left hand - it breaks him, sending him to his knees as he breaks down in tears.

It's pathetic, really, he berates himself for crying in public. But he hasn't ever felt this hopeless, at the mercy of fate, begging time to go faster so he can hold your hand again and whipser in your ears to come back to him. He doesn't know how much time passes until he's completely out of tears, staring dead-eyed at his reflection, half-consciously registering the nurse's comment that he needs to leave now.

When Eddie drags himself back to the waiting room, the room stills. Hopper is the first to stand up, alarm in his eyes, as everyone else turns to look at Eddie. It's a completely unfamiliar sight to them, seeing Eddie cry, and it puts them all on edge.

"What's the news? How's she doing?"

Eddie lets out a shaky sigh, screaming at himself to keep his shit together. You had people who cared about you and were worrying about you, the least he could do was manage to say what he saw.

"They were... doing all these things to her. God, Hopper, she looks awful. There's so much blood and she looked so... lifeless, just laying there. I don't even-" Eddie wants to remain calm, he wants to say that you looked worse for wear but that you'd probably pull through, but the words feel foreign and difficult.

He doesn't know if it's too optimistic to say but he thinks it'll all work out, or if it's too late to try and save the mood. All he can feel is the crushing weight on his chest, and suddenly the entire room feels too small for him.

"I-I need to get out. Call me if anything changes." is all Eddie can blurt out before sprinting out the door, leaning against the hospital wall with heavy breaths.

It's a cold night and he's glad for it, the chilly breeze soothing his flaming skin as he slides down onto the pavement. He's spiraling and catastrophizing when he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. To his surprise, it's Nancy, who sits down on the cold pavement next to him, Jonathan's jacket wrapped around her shoulders.

"It's okay to cry, you know." she starts out, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes.

"I know." Eddie responds quietly, staring at the ground.

She smiles at him sadly.

"Seriously though. If you need to cry, vent, scream, throw something, let your emotions out... as long as you're not hurting anyone or yourself, it's fine. And even necessary in moments like these."

Eddie nods slowly, allowing her logical advice to register in his brain as he leans backwards against the harsh brick wall. He doesn't have much to offer her in terms of company or conversation but she seems to be understanding of it, simply keeping him company in silence.

"Thank you." is all he can manage to say in return. She smiles, this time a bit brighter.

"Of course."

After about half an hour, Eddie feels calm enough to re-enter, where the nurse is now back with an update.

"The surgery went well, but there are some additional procedures that need to be performed in order to make sure her vitals are steady. I'm afraid this is going to be a process which lasts a few days."

Eddie opens his mouth to object but Hopper cuts in as the oldest, giving the younger man a commanding glare.

"Of course. We'll swing by when we have time. Please call me if there are any significant updates." is Hopper's polite response.

Everyone then gets up to leave except for Eddie, who takes off his leather jacket and forces himself to get comfortable in a nearby chair. Steve raises an eyebrow.

"Shouldn't you be heading home? You heard the nurse, this could last a few days."

Eddie forces a grin, shaking his head.

"I know, I'll... I'm just going to stay a bit longer, and then I'll head home. You all go ahead first."

It's a lie and once everyone leaves, Eddie falls asleep at around two am out of pure exhaustion, his neck awkwardly leaning against the window. He wakes up at around six then forces himself to go to the nearest gas station to grab a shitty breakfast, then he's back to his spot in the waiting room.

Over the next few days, he sees your friends visit here and there. Steve and Robin drop by after their shift at Family Video, both of them trying to coax Eddie to get some proper sleep, but Eddie refuses and insists that he's getting 'good enough sleep' here on that plastic chair. Hopper drops by every few hours, a sad look on his face when he sees that Eddie is almost always there, in the same spot, looking absolutely miserable. Nancy and Jonathan bring along a basket of food when they next visit and hand it off to Eddie, which Eddie accepts gratefully. It seemed that word had gotten around that Eddie hasn't left the waiting room since your accident.

Eddie's grateful that Nancy and Jonathan at the very least don't push him to leave, though he can tell by their pitying gaze and gentle questions that they're worried about him. But Eddie doesn't care. He can't stand the thought of not being here when you're finally stable and awake, and he's not even sure if he'll be able to sleep much if he drives back home and falls into his own bed.

The only form of entertainment in the ER waiting room - bar the occasional arguments between family members sitting next to him and the countertop magazines stacked on the tables - is the small television hung by the counter, stuck on the same channel 24/7. Right now, it's playing a re-run of the Golden Girls, and a sad smile appears on Eddie's face as he's reminded of how much you love that show.

Eddie then feels a light tap on his shoulder, the same nurse from three days ago standing in front of him with a bright smile on her face. It's a remarkably different expression to how she's been looking over at him and the others the past few days: sadness, worry and sympathy.

"She's awake and stable. Would you like to see-"

"Yes!" Eddie practically shouts, interrupting the rest of the nurse's sentence and attracting the rest of the room's attention. He coughs awkwardly, realizing that he's probably being a bit rude. "Please."

The walk to your room is short and you're lying against a semi-propped bed, thumbing through a book with a bored expression on your face. The call from the nurse that you've got a visitor makes you look up from your book, your heart thundering in excitement when your eyes fall onto Eddie's perfect face.

"Eddie-"

He's quick to run to you and hug you tight, loosening his grip when you pat his shoulder gently with a laugh, reminding him that you're still a bit sore. He blushes in embarassment, weakening his hold but not letting you go as his hands gently cradle your face. He turns your face in every single angle imaginable, as if examining your skin for any visible damage.

"How are you feeling? Does anything hurt? Did you break anything? Do you want anything? I can run down to the van and drive to-" he's rambling like a crazed man, his eyes methodically scanning you up and down whilst he's listing every little thing you could ever need.

It's not until you softly squeeze his hand that he stops.

"I'm fine, Eddie. I have a fractured rib and a concussion, but the worst of it is over. I'm on medication and I feel fine." you reassure him, dragging your thumb over his palm to remind him of your presence. Eddie doesn't seem fully convinced, however, before he's rattling off again.

"Okay, then how about food? Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

You chuckle, pointing to the bedside table with a half-empty tray and glass of water.

"It's a hospital, Eddie. They've been taking care of me just fine."

He pouts at that, scooting closer towards you.

"That's supposed to be my job."

Eddie looks like a wounded puppy, his gaze a mix of worry and adoration, and it makes your heart melt at how sweet your boyfriend is. You lick your lips and then press a chaste kiss on his lips, hoping he doesn't realize how dry your lips are.

"You've done more than enough, babe. I heard that you've been camping out in the waiting room the past few days." you tease, which makes Eddie chuckle.

"Couldn't stand the thought of being far away from you, princess. Besides, it was kind of fun. Like a really... shitty camping trip."

The warm atmosphere in the room turns semi-chaotic again when you notice Hopper and all your friends rushing into the room, Steve holding an awkwardly large 'get well soon' boquet of flowers and Robin and Nancy being the first to tackle you in a group hug, Robin practically shoving Eddie out of the way. Eddie would complain, but it's clear that your closest friends have been just as worried as he's been, so he decides to let it be.

"Aw, you guys shouldn't have." you chuckle, accepting a box of chocolates from Jonathan and a card from Hopper. They all interrogate you similar to Eddie - how you're feeling, if anything hurts, if you need anything - and it makes you smile so much to the point your face hurts.

"We're so glad to see that you're okay now, (Y/n). We were all so worried." Hopper notes, leaning against the railings of your bed. Steve then chuckles, shooting a not so subtle glance at Eddie.

"Yeah, but Eddie worried the most. Even broke the rules to see you."

You raise your eyebrows at that, ignoring Eddie's protests to drop the topic.

"Do tell - what did my loving boyfriend do whilst I was gone?" you question, amused.

"Eddie told the nurse that he was your fiancée in order to see you whilst you were still in surgery." Nancy tells you with a teasing smile, causing you to cock your head in confusion.

"How did he-" you cut yourself off, your right hand automatically going to grasp the golden ring on your left hand. The action and the clear realization dawning on your face makes everyone break out in laughter, minus Eddie, who is blushing furiously from the corner of the room.

After half an hour, the nurse comes in to dismiss everyone, though she tells Eddie that he can stay a bit longer as the fiancée. None of your friends correct the nurse, all of them winking and giggling behind the nurse's back, before you turn around to look at Eddie. He's staring right at the floor, playing with his rings whilst avoiding looking at you.

"Eddie." you call out his name.

"Hm?" he asks, but he's still looking at the floor and his cheeks are still red. You sigh, patting the space next to you in bed.

"Come here, please."

He gingerly shuffles into the space next to you in bed, as you rest your head on his shoulder and pull up the hand with the matching golden ring in front of you. Playing with his matching ring, you smile.

"You're absolutely adorable, you know that? Lying to see little old me?" your tone is light-hearted and Eddie grumbles.

"Was not adorable. It was a life or death situation." he pouts, and you laugh, patting his thigh.

"Okay, I'm sorry for teasing, babe. What I meant was that I think it's really sweet that you camped out for nights outside in the waiting room and that you lied to be able to see me quicker."

A few moments of silence passes and Eddie carefully shifts in his place to look down at you. You look a bit tired - that's to be expected - but now under the golden sunlight streaming through the curtains, your face is vibrant and illuminated. Your hair's framing your face perfectly, your skin is warm against his, and your delicate fingers are drawing circles into his hand. Something shifts in him, he's not too sure what, but his gut tells him it's right.

"It doesn't have to be a lie." Eddie gently suggests, making your back straighten in surprise.

"W-what?"

Eddie takes a deep breath before pulling you off of him carefully.

"I love you. You love me. And the past few days have taught me time is fleeting and I can't take our time together for granted. So..." he shifts nervously beside you, before linking his hands with yours and kissing your palm. "What do you say? Wanna be my real fiancée?"

This time it's Eddie telling you to loosen up your grip when you bring him down for a crushing hug, extending your arms around his neck and nodding furiously into the crevice of his chest.

"Yes, yes, 100% yes."

His smile is blinding - pure, unadultered joy - before his signature smirk returns, pointing to your ring.

"Well, technically you already said yes, but a 100% yes is good too."

You roll your eyes but he cuts you off with a kiss, gentle and sweet, his teeth biting your lower lip. It makes you dizzy and hot all at once and the rest of the hospital room melts away in a euphoric haze, the only sensation being Eddie against you.

-> a/n: UGH I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR HAPPY ENDINGS AND FLUFF uwu also please excuse the fact that most of this wouldn't happen irl in terms of hospital operations and who can see who I just needed the story to work a certain way lmao. If you enjoyed it, please leave a like/comment/reblog so I know to write more :)

❤️ Drink water, nourish your body and be kind to yourself today ❤️

[neuroprincess]

Law & Order: SVU - How you met each other (Preferences)

Classification: Fluff

Pairing: Alex Cabot, Casey Novak, Liz Donnelly, Olivia Benson and Rita Calhoun

Warnings: None

Word count: +800

Alex Cabot

- Anyone who looks at the ice queen so comfortable in New York urbanism can't imagine the ADA's origins. Anyone would picture her as a library rat as a child, wearing a pearl necklace and sitting at the table with tough-talking adults, which is partially right, but no one could imagine Alexandra Marie Cabot wearing denim overalls shooting cans with a slingshot, swimming naked in the lake, and creating a fort in the tree house. Enjoying what Texas provided for a child. You grew up with this version of her, spending summer vacation afternoons together on the Cabot farm, until she returned for good to New York at age fifteen and never came back.

Casey Novak

- You knew her before she knew you, Casey's fame in softball extended to several departments, especially yours, narcotics, where you worked for months. The narcotics team hated her, she single-handedly took down their best players and you admire her for it, was beautiful to watch the redhead play, mesmerizing. At the end of the year SVU and Narcotics qualified for the finals, you used to just watch the games until Vizzini retired and left a gap in the team, filled by you, your co-workers pushed you until they convinced you to try even though had never played before. When the day came, you couldn't stand on the field for 10 minutes, Casey's determined eyes made you more nervous than you already were. The last thing you saw before passing out was the ADA bouncing a ball in your direction. And the first thing you see when wake up is Novak sitting in the armchair next to the hospital bed, a guilty expression on her face.

Liz Donnelly

- Being an ADA is a great responsibility and burden, made even greater by being the half-sister of the brilliant and perfect Alex Cabot, your mother was married three times, she was born from the first marriage and nine years later you were born from a second union. Despite this, the two of you were raised close and she became your inspiration, which led you to study law and follow in your sister's footsteps by becoming an ADA, one of the youngest in SVU. And so you ended up in Liz Donnelly's office, formally introducing yourself after getting the competitive position, with your high grades, extracurricular activities and a recommendation from Alex. "I'm curious to work with Cabot's ward. Welcome, Y/L/N!"

Olivia Benson

- Being a single mother is hard but Evelyn is a sweet and behaved child, making the process easier. You didn't expect that one drunken night would give you a little brown-eyed angel, the beginning was painful and in time you have adjusted well to a quiet life. And it is because you know how hard and difficult it is to be a single mother that you understand the life of Noah, Eve's best friend at school, and often gave the Bensons a little help, even though you didn't know the boy's mother personally. You were surprised the day Noah got into your car with Evelyn after class claiming that his mother had let him come to your house to study for the test, which you found out was a lie when you found an angry brunette at your door accusing you of kidnapping her son. Needless to say, Evelyn and Noah were grounded for weeks.

Rita Calhoun

- Paying for college is hard when you are young and new to a metropolis like New York, but you are determined to fulfill your dreams and get a degree at NYU, so you have gotten a night job as a waitress in a fancy restaurant and at events on the weekend. Sometimes the weekday work can be exhausting because of the hours, but it pays a decent wage and the customers tip well, especially the brunette in the suit who shows up almost every Tuesday, usually alone, and on other occasions accompanied by men in suits, as if they were in a meeting. She always orders the same wine and the chef's dish. Another Tuesday came and you were having a terrible day, it all started with a test that was annulled by a small detail, then you got rained on way from the dorm to restaurant and the icing on the cake is a new manager harassing you from the moment you arrived. Rita realized what was happening as soon as you attended to her and seemed extremely nervous about his lewd glances across the room, minutes after you left the table the man was there, having an apparently serious conversation with the woman. When you returned to pour the usual wine she seemed satisfied, which made you apprehensive thinking you did something wrong. "Is there a problem, Miss Calhoun?" you asked, standing rigidly beside her. "No, Y/N. But the manager will be soon if he keep acting like this." she smiled and winked at you before dismissing the service with a nod. "And you can call me Rita."

[blooming-violets]

this could be totally something that you dont want to write which is totally fine as this is a pretty specific situation but im having a lot of anxiety because i was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness that really should have been diagnosed at least 15 years ago, im now going through hospital appointments and scans and its all so scary as what i have can be life threatening, i have a scan on tuesday which im nervous about and depending on the results of that i will possibly be needing a brain scan sooner than anticipated.it sounds so corny but having someone in my life that was supportive and understanding of the stress that this causes would be such a breath of fresh air. currently my mum is coming with me to my appointments despite me being 19 but she's very much in denial about the whole thing and wont talk about it. sounds cringe af but i want an irl peter parker to be there with me through it all.

Okay this message hit me really hard. I feel for you so much. When I was 16 I was diagnosed with cancer. It should have been an easy cancer to deal with (if you can call any cancer easy) but apparently I had been living with it since I was a toddler. Despite having random weird health issues all my life, it was never caught until I was 16. So it was in really late stages and I needed a lot of really invasive treatments for the next few years of my life. It's something that, at 30, I am still dealing with the lasting effects of all the treatments I had. I used so much music and books and shows and movies to help me escape. It helps so much to fall into your own imagination and fully embrace your fantasies during that time. I promise you, it is not at all cringe. If you have a comfort character, use them. Let them fill up all your thoughts until you've complete dissociated from all the medical shit going on around you. I used to walk through the hospital halls to whatever appointment I had and 100% imagined my favs being there with me. It's not weird. I mean, maybe it is, but being weird is a good thing.

If I can help in any way, I will! I'm absolutely going to write this. If you want I can add you to a tag list when I post it or I can just link it back to this message. I didn't want to wait to answer though because I feel very strongly about this and about people's comfort characters and using Peter to make someone feel less alone is my favorite thing.

I have to work until 7 tonight but when I get home, I'll start working on it right away! I'm pushing this one to the top of my list of works to complete.

I hope you get good news and I'll be thinking about you! If you ever need more Peter comfort, never be afraid to let me know, I'd be more than happy to write anything for you (or anyone).

[flourchildwrites]

It’s an ordinary Tuesday for most of the hospital occupants as well as the passersby scurrying on the street below. As Rei ends her call with a reputable cab company, she gazes out the window to watch their comings and goings one last time. From the comfort of her windowsill, she likes to imagine the colorful lives they lead in contrast to the hospital's endless reserve of rooms drenched in muted earth tones. The exception is, as always, a vibrant arrangement of Japanese gentians that sits in her windowsill, sticking out like a sore thumb.

But this Tuesday is different. Her doctors say that this day marks a milestone in her recovery. For what it’s worth, Rei is inclined to agree. She’s packing her bags to leave the hospital. Unlikely though it once seemed, Mrs. Todoroki is going home.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Relationships & Characters: Todoroki Rei/Todoroki Enji, Himura Family, Todoroki Family, Todoroki Shouto

Genre: Flashbacks, Parent-Child Dynamics, Healing, Hopeful Ending

Trigger Warnings: Implied/Referenced Canonical Child and Spousal Abuse

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2,993 words (Complete)

A/N: I'm so excited to share the fic I wrote for @todofamzine! I would like to thank the Winter Dawn mod team for being the best damn moderators I have ever worked with and @robinoxel for collabing with me and creating art of Rei to go along with the fic which you can find here. This fic was written before the recent chapters featuring the Todoroki family were published. I did my best to imagine what might have happened during Rei and Enji's past, and any canonical divergence you see is just that: canonical divergence coming from a simpler time. Flashbacks are in italics. I hope you enjoy this fic!

Home is a curious concept for Rei Todoroki. For the better part of a decade, she’s passed her time in a series of well-furnished hospital rooms with bland walls and bleached sheets. Her accommodations are not so cold as to be unwelcoming: extra blankets and plush pillows are a perk of her long penance, not to be taken for granted in spaces like these. But the walls are nearly bare, every wire is tethered taut, and someone somewhere is always—always—watching.

Oddly enough, she’s going to miss that.

It’s an ordinary Tuesday for most of the hospital occupants as well as the passersby scurrying on the street below. As Rei ends her call with a reputable cab company, she gazes out the window to watch their comings and goings one last time. From the comfort of her windowsill, she likes to imagine the colorful lives they lead in contrast to the hospital's endless reserve of rooms drenched in muted earth tones. The exception is, as always, a vibrant arrangement of Japanese gentians that sits in her windowsill, sticking out like a sore thumb.

But this Tuesday is different. Her doctors say that this day marks a milestone in her recovery. For what it’s worth, Rei is inclined to agree. She’s packing her bags to leave the hospital. Unlikely though it once seemed, Mrs. Todoroki is going home.

What she will find waiting on the other side of the recovery divide is still a mystery.

Rei folds her life into two suitcases. One shirt and a pair of pants lay neatly on top of the open case, but beneath the surface, she allows some disorder. The hairbrush she used this morning is stuffed in the middle. Prescription bottles with rattling pills hide between layers of cloth, and there are deep wrinkles in the fabric below, not unlike the tired lines etched under her middle-aged eyes. She’s almost finished, almost ready to relegate the sterile smell of the hospital to nothing more than a memory, but there’s one last thing to pack.

Some of her photographs are framed; others are faded. A few photos are torn, and still, there’s the odd bit of charring on the edges of one or two pictures, courtesy of young Touya’s wild ways. Rei can’t help but smile at her collection of fond memories.

Her eyes flit to an old, framed newspaper clipping, and echoes of Rei’s glory days wrap around her like a favorite cardigan. In the picture, her stance is commanding; her arms are outstretched. A sheet of ice streams from her fingertips as her pale hair fans out from the force of the chilly blast. The sidekick Frostbyte is strong and vivacious, a match for any villain she might encounter in the small locality she protects. The headline beneath her picture speaks volumes: New Sidekick Frostbyte Freezes Crime Rates!

It’s a warm memory, something Rei wants to tuck in her chest and carry with her wherever she roams. She picks up the frame and places it safely in the top compartment of her baggage. Another image, a picture already tucked in her suitcase, draws her attention.

Rei doesn’t know why she keeps the picture. She isn’t sure why Fuyumi pulled the image from the family albums for her in the first place. Perhaps both Todoroki women are sentimental for what was and what might have been. Looking at the staged photograph now, Rei sees hope in the lineless eyes of her younger self, a blushing, traditional bride in a pure white shiromuku. And there’s Enji by her side, a tall, prideful hero made uncomfortable by the humble formality of the Shinto shrine.

The smile fades from Rei’s face; it is replaced by well-earned worry lines as she glances sideways at the blue flowers on her windowsill. She’ll never know how Frostbyte appeared on Enji’s bride-to-be radar. Neither will she ever be certain if her family, eager to capitalize on her early success as a sidekick and drowning in debt, put her profile into the matchmaker’s hands. Either way, the request was made and answered before the young woman could give her blessing.

Looking back, it feels like their first meeting happened lifetimes ago, as if the entire event is witnessed through a pane of frosted glass. But Rei remembers every detail, down to the tea stains on her mother’s best table cloth and the nervous buzz in the pit of her stomach. The scene plays out as though she is on the outside looking in, forever separated from the optimistic young woman she used to be.

...

The Todoroki family seems pleased.

In between courses, Rei’s mother hisses this sentiment in her daughter’s ear. Her father sits politely through dinner, speaking when spoken to and wearing his deference on his sleeve. Enji appears to be nice, though fixated on his work and the pro hero rankings. His mother and father are cordial, especially considering their lofty status; however, their impeccable etiquette is not important. The Todoroki family fortune is the reason her mother and father agreed to this meeting.

The older couples beam at their children when, somehow, dinner devolves into dessert. Their eager matchmaker announces that Rei and Enji should spend a few moments alone to speak candidly about dating with marriage (and children) in mind. Rei, for one, isn’t sure how to feel. She cannot know how a conversation of this nature is supposed to go.

Nevertheless, she stays the course and flashes Enji an accommodating smile as they take a seat on the bench in her family’s small garden. The summer heat does not agree with Rei, but her favorite flowers, bell-shaped blossoms the color of sapphires, are in bloom. They bring her comfort, and Rei doesn’t hesitate to tell Enji that these are her favorite to jumpstart the obligatory small talk.

He doesn’t respond in kind.

“I saw your rescue in Hasetsu,” the young man observes, changing the topic. “The way you fortified the building with your ice quirk was impressive, and I understand there were no casualties.”

Rei does not reply. She merely nods in assent, wondering if he really wants to talk about the ins and outs of their careers when marriage is on the table. For the first time, she glances upward and looks at Enji Todoroki. Impressive height, flaming hair, and cerulean eyes speak for themselves, but there’s also a hint of something sweet and smoldering in the night air that’s coming from him. There’s no denying that the rising pro hero is, as the tabloid papers are fond of saying, a hot commodity.

But the blush that dusts Rei’s cheeks isn’t only from physical attraction, nerves, or the thick material of her best dress. There are worries and concerns, curiosities that Rei thinks should be sated. Her thoughts spill from her lips before she can catch them.

“Why me?” she asks, bolder because of the plum wine passed around the dinner table. “You’re Endeavor. Surely, you have people lining up to-”

“Did no one speak to you about this before our meeting?” Enji interrupts.

The grin wilts from Rei’s face. “What do you mean?”

Enji sighs. He stands and steps forward; his figure illuminates, outshining the moon. His glow erupts into a burst of hellfire, and Enji’s arms are engulfed. The sleeves of his fine suit are ruined, but he doesn’t appear to care. Rei is startled, yet she only feels a gentle heat radiating from the star before her. Enji’s command of his quirk is incredible.

“Power like this comes with a cost,” he remarks bluntly.

He turns to face Rei, and the blaze surrounding his arms contracts, burning brighter. When Enji grimaces, her eyes widen with the realization that he is overheating.

Rei can relate.

“With a quirk like this, my body can only withstand the heat for so long. I assume that it is the same for you and your ice.”

The puzzle pieces connect as reality settles on her shoulders. Their pairing isn’t about temperament so much as temperature; their powers are polar opposites that cancel and complement. Enji reaches out to take Rei’s hand, and instinctively, she drops her body temperature to combat his blaze. Frost meets hellfire, steam rises, and the garden is flooded with fury. When the cloud clears, Rei and Enji remain hand-in-hand. No burns. No ice.

But it is neither luck nor good fortune. It is calculated equilibrium, a quirk marriage through and through.

...

She remembers that there were three dates, three opportunities to be seen and photographed at hotspots near his agency and hers. Matching stories were crafted for the hows and whens of their contrived romance. While they dated, the Todoroki family lawyers drafted an airtight prenuptial agreement.

The contract arrived on a Friday evening, Rei recalls, along with a small package that contained an engagement ring worth more than six months of her salary. The advice from her mother was particularly memorable.

...

“Answer him,” her mother’s voice pleads. “The sooner, the better. Remember your family is counting on y-”

Rei stops the answering machine. She doesn’t need to hear the rest. The older woman’s lecturing tone grates on Rei’s nerves. The pressure from her father is more subtle, but it’s still there. She isn’t sure where the family debt came from; however, she doubts that the schools she attended were inexpensive. Plus, her mother never hesitates to tell her that she should give them more of her paycheck, though the salary of a sidekick is barely enough.

She rolls her weary eyes and tosses the package on the low table of her small living space. Paperwork spills across the surface; the ring box nearly falls to the floor. Rei wants nothing more than to sink into her futon until her next shift rolls around. But Endeavor is not a patient person.

Rei runs through her internal debate once more.

True enough, Enji will be hard-pressed to find a better match than Rei, not for the ends he has in mind—a child with a combination of their quirks. Likewise, Rei knows that she will never rise as high as him on the hero billboard chart. It’s not that she doesn’t want to make a difference, but her countenance is naturally understated. Rei would like to live a quiet life, helping others and supporting her family.

And someday, she’d like to have children too.

Yet, the possibility of a loveless marriage is a difficult pill to swallow, especially since the concept of romance is nebulous in Rei’s mind. Her parents swear that love can take root and grow with time, and Enji is nothing if not dedicated to his goals. Moreover, Rei is not so naive as to pretend that a comfortable life with a steady income isn’t attractive in and of itself.

One last glance at his profile cements her answer. She doesn’t revel in bargaining for a better future as she slips on the engagement ring and signs her name on the dotted line of the prenuptial agreement. Rei calls her parents to share the news and phones Enji to tell him she’s accepted.

As she lies down on her futon to rest, Rei swears that she will plant a garden at their first home, filled with flowers to admire and founded on promises worth keeping. She imagines pretty blooms decorating a harmonious house alongside the pitter-patter of little feet which grow into the large shoes Enji wants filled. Rei consoles herself: if she does a good job of bringing up the next generation of Todorokis, her children will have the luxury of choosing love instead of a contract.

...

Rei admits that hanging up her hero costume was an easy thing to do after the marriage. It was even easier to watch her hardened muscles soften into feminine curves as life took root in her belly. Her parents were proud; Enji was satisfied. Any lingering doubts were pushed aside by the demands of motherhood.

And when Touya’s quirk proved disappointing, Rei tried harder to fulfill her side of the bargain. She can scarcely remember a time in her twenties when she was not waiting for her child’s quirk to manifest or swallowing prenatal vitamins over an anxious lump in her throat.

Fuyumi was born on a crisp December morning eleven months after Enji declared Touya unsuitable for further training. Like clockwork, Natsuo was on the way after their sweet daughter failed to manifest a fire quirk before she turned four. Then, Rei cannot forget how Enji became impatient. Natsuo had not reached his second birthday when her husband decided that he was also a failure. As Rei thinks back on the arrival of her last child, hindsight’s perfect vision highlights chilling insight.

...

“It’s a boy!”

Strong cries rebound off the walls of the delivery room. Rei breathes a sigh of relief as her body shudders from the efforts of her labor. At the end of her bed, the hospital staff congratulate her on another healthy baby as they pass the newborn to his mother. The comforting feeling of an infant pressed against Rei’s chest will never grow old, and she savors this moment with Shouto, mumbling words of love as she holds him. Deep down, Rei realizes that her fourth pregnancy was hard, and secretly, she dreads what her husband will think if this child also has a head full of snow-white hair.

Enji often tells her that he knew the other children were failures the moment he laid eyes on them. On this subject, husband and wife will never agree, but Rei is content that he leaves their upbringing to her. She’s done her best to temper Touya’s attitude, bolster Fuyumi’s confidence, and keep Natsuo laughing.

Rei glances down at the fresh face of her newborn son and is perplexed by the contradiction she sees between his halves. Trembling fingers weave through his hair. Fine white and crimson strands part down the middle. Yet, Shouto’s hair is not his most striking feature. A pair of mismatched eyes blink up at Rei. One is bright turquoise, and the other is a somber gray.

The contrast is uncanny.

“Heterochromia iridum,” the doctor pronounces as if on cue. “That explains his eyes. Usually, it’s a benign condition, nothing to worry about. Considering his hair, I’d say it’s all genetic, possibly related to his quirk.”

Through a blissful haze of oxytocin, Rei registers Enji’s hand on her shoulder. He laughs in an abrasive chuckle that overtakes Shouto’s cries.

“Finally,” he exclaims, “a masterpiece.”

If the doctor and nurses think Enji’s behavior is untoward, they keep the observation to themselves. Rei is too exhausted to fight the relief she feels. She allows her husband to take the newborn baby from her arms instead of insisting that she nurse Shouto straight away as she did with her other children.

“You did well this time,” he mutters.

Rei smiles wearily at the compliment, but it does not sit as well as she believed it would.

...

In retrospect, Rei understands that there was no singular moment that caused the trouble which followed. Rather, it was a collection of compromises that seemed, at the time, to be for the best. Rei gathers the rest of her photographs. Carefully, she thumbs through the small stack and is reminded of all the seeds she and Enji planted in their garden.

Undoubtedly, her children are her greatest love, and she tucks the loose photos in her purse for safekeeping, holding their cheerful likenesses close and the good memories closer. Looking around, Rei realizes that she’s finished packing—all except the vase of Japanese gentians sitting on the windowsill.

Rei prepared for this. She spoke at length with her therapist about the baggage she intends to take into the next phase of her life. Some of it is essential. Never again will she let herself slip so far as to harm someone she cherishes. No more will she suffer the company of people more concerned with ends than means. But when it comes to Enji, Rei is of two minds, torn between the past and the present. Scarred and repentant, he is not the person he once was.

Neither is she.

A brisk knock on the door stirs Rei from her reverie. She turns to address the nurse and is happy to find a familiar face.

“Your discharge papers are ready, and your cab is here, Mrs. Todoroki,” he says cheerfully, already taking her bags. “Are you sure you don’t want your family to escort you home?”

Rei shakes her head.

“They offered, but I want to do this by myself.”

“Fair enough.” The nurse shrugs.

He takes a step toward the windowsill and reaches to collect the flowers when Rei makes her decision. With a gentle expression but a firm palm tilted upward, she halts his kind gesture.

“The flowers stay,” Rei says confidently. “I don’t have room for them anymore.”

It’s a short walk from her old room to the hospital’s front door, but the journey took Rei over a decade to complete. She slips into the back of the cab and passes the driver a slip of paper with the name and address of her new accommodations—a small, refurbished apartment with a low table, comfortable futon, and no answering machine. It's a perfect place for someone starting over.

Rei knows that if she turns around for a last look, she will see Japanese gentians standing guard on the windowsill, but she lets this opportunity pass. As the cab speeds away, Rei commits herself to the good habit of not looking back.

“That’s a nice address, Miss. Where are you headed to?” the driver asks.

It’s been a long time since Rei was called anything other than Mrs. Todoroki. Caught in the small thrill, she doesn’t correct him. She’s grateful for the crowded city’s veil of anonymity and, within it, her second chance.

“Home,” she answers honestly, feeling freer than she has in decades.

[kpophours]

One Love || part II

➵ SF9: Youngbin x fem. reader / series, werewolf AU / fluff

➵ warnings: slight cursing, slight mentions of alcohol

➵ word count: 2.6k

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Youngbin stood in the middle of his office, blood rushing to his head. He was shaking, heart beating way too fast and breath coming out in shallow, quick huffs.

He had just met his mate. 

You were his mate. 

His knees buckled and he had to lean against the wall behind him for support. 

He had just met his mate for the first time and like a complete idiot, he had run away from you. 

But he'd simply been unable to cope in that moment - he never would have thought that he’d ever meet his mate, never would have dreamed of meeting you here, in his shop... Inseong had said you smelled different to him, but that you definitely wasn't his mate - well, the slightly older man had been right, you smelled differently to wolves, because you were his, Youngbin’s mate.

He took in a shaky breath and let out a small, humorless laugh.

Inseong’s scientific assistant was his mate. Of course his and Inseong’s lives had to be intertwined even more. That was just his luck - the relationship he had with the slightly older man was rocky to say the least, thanks to their past. But they had finally begun to work together again these last few months, sharing the burden of being oldest of their pack and having to care for the younger wolves. He knew Inseong wouldn't be happy about yet another person - which whom he had to spend a lot of time with - being "seized" by Youngbin. First his beloved cousin, now his scientific assistant - who Inseong liked, that much was obvious, even though he had been working with you for only two days so far. He had been practically gushing about you yesterday!

"What a mess.", Youngbin murmured and closed his eyes, taking another deep breath to calm himself. 

"Hey... Uhm, are you okay?" your soft voice suddenly asked from beside him, making him jump. He opened his eyes, blinking down at you.

God, you were beautiful. 

He just wanted to bury his nose in the soft waves of your hair. 

You just... smelled so good, how was he ever supposed to concentrate around you? 

And your eyes... those eyes! 

He stared at you in wonder. 

"Uhm… Mr. Kim?" You sounded nervous and drew your eyebrows together, "Are you okay? You look a bit pale." 

"Youngbin. Please... just call me Youngbin.", he finally answered, trying to smile. Your face immediately softened and you returned his smile. You were even more radiant than before and he gulped. "Uh, Hwi is looking at your car right now, I hope?" 

You nodded. "He is indeed - he said I could wait in the office and that you would make some coffee or tea." Now, you full on grinned, "So, I thought I should take you up on his offer." 

Youngbin rolled his eyes, but his bright grin betrayed his real emotions. 

He is even more handsome when he smiles, you thought to yourself, trying to ignore your fast beating heart. 

"Well, I guess I’ll have to show you my hospitality now, won't I? We don't want you to be disappointed.", Youngbin joked and you nodded grimly, though your eyes were sparkling with hidden humor. Youngbin gestured towards one of the chairs inside the office, before turning towards the coffee machine. "Espresso, Latte Macchiato, Cappuccino?", he asked, face turned away from you. He was still trying to get his facial expressions in order as he didn't think it would be wise to show you his apparent wonder and admiration - that would surely just scare you away. 

"Cappuccino please." Your voice... he could listen to your voice for forever. 

"So... you're Inseong’s new scientific assistant, I heard?" God, he was truly horrible at small talk. 

"I am indeed." You sounded amused. When he turned around again, the two cups of freshly made coffee in his hands, you had crossed your legs and were observing him with a watchful expression on your face. He felt a bit helpless - something not often accomplished as he was an alpha and therefore a born leader. 

"Thank you.", you said when he placed one of the mugs in front of you, taking a seat behind his desk - the table providing a much appreciated barrier between you two.

"So, what's it like to work with Inseong?" 

"Well, I've only had the pleasure of working with him for two days so far - but he is very kind and I'm sure we’ll get along just perfectly. You have known him for a long time, right?", you asked and raised the cup to you lips, gently blowing on the hot beverage, before taking a careful sip. 

"Yes. One could even say we grew up together - so we share a lot of history.", Youngbin answered, voice rather tight. 

"You don't sound too pleased about that." 

"He's like family to me. But as so often, one doesn't always see eye to eye in a family." 

"You argue, you mean." 

Youngbin smiled, humorless. "Some would probably say too much." 

You sighed. "It's the same with me and my brother.", you confessed, "We are very different people - and whenever we see each other, we begin to argue." Youngbin took a sip of coffee as well, before asking: "About what?" 

"Oh, you know..." You lazily waved one hand, shrugging, "About this and that. Sometimes about stupid, unimportant stuff, but mostly about his perception of the world or how it should be - at least in his eyes... let's just say, he's not very open-minded." 

"Other than you?" 

"I would like to think so, yes. What about you, would you consider yourself to be an open-minded person, Youngbin?" You fixated him with glinting eyes, the corners of your lip curling into a slight smile.

It was the first time you said his name - and he wanted you to repeat it over and over again, never before had his name sounded so beautifully. "I would like to think so, yes. But there are boundaries to my tolerance." 

At this, you nodded thoughtfully. "That's not a bad thing per se. It depends on what you tolerate or don't - everything should be within reason." 

"We see eye to eye, then." 

You smiled at him and he swore, his heart stopped for a few seconds. 

You talked about this and that for the next half an hour and time simply flew by - way too soon, Hwiyoung entered the office, telling you about finishing the check up on your car. "There's a minor damage concerning the steering mechanism, but it's not too bad. You can make another appointment to have it fixed next week. Other than that, you're good to go.", the young man explained, wiping his grimy hands on an even grimier towel. You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God, you had me scared for a second. Can I make that appointment now?" 

Hwiyoung looked at Youngbin, who nodded. "Of course." With that, he opened his MacBook and clicked on his calendar. "What time and day suits you best?", he asked, trying not to look at you with too much admiration in his eyes - just so Hwiyoung wouldn't notice anything being amiss with his alpha.

"Uh, well... to be honest, I'm free most of the time. I have to work Monday till Friday from 9 to 6 or 6.30pm latest, but that's about it..." You smiled, a tad embarrassed, "I don't really know anyone around town just yet - well, except for Inseong of course - so I don't have any plans next week. What day would suit you guys the best?" 

Youngbin thought about it for a second. "What about next Tuesday, 7pm?" 

"But you'll be alone at that time!", Hwiyoung immediately protested, but Youngbin just shrugged. "I don't have any other appointment that day and I think I can repair the damage on my own." He looked at you and you nodded in confirmation: "Tuesday, 7pm it is, then."

"Perfect. See you on Tuesday.", Youngbin tried to sound nonchalantly, which earned him another smile from you. 

He would never get used to your beautiful smile - not in a thousand years. 

"Thank you for having a look at my car, Hwiyoung. See you guys!" With that, you waved at them, took your car keys from Hwiyoung and left the office - not before giving one last look and smile to Youngbin, who couldn't help but softly smile back at you. 

When you were gone, Hwiyoung turned around to look at his alpha. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile this much in such a short amount of time.", he commented, raising an eyebrow suspiciously, "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, don't get on my nerves.", Youngbin just grumbled, rolling his eyes and closing his MacBook again, "Let's pack things up and go home.“

The rest of Youngbin’s week was spent thinking about his mate way too often. He knew he should talk to the rest of the pack - or at least to Inseong - but he hadn’t been ready for that yet. He was still digesting that he had really, finally found his mate. 

“Youngbin!“ 

He looked up, surprise written all over his face. “What?“, he asked, gazing at the rest of the pack. “It’s your turn to draw out our new routes for running.“, Chani said, raising one eyebrow, “Where the hell are you with your thoughts? Is everything alright? You’ve been acting strange these last few days.“ 

Youngbin sighed deeply and rubbed his face, tiredness washing over him. He should really try to concentrate, the youngest pack member was right. “Yes, sorry. I’m just... tired, that’s all. I’ll tell you guys about your new routes tonight, I promise.“ With that, he abruptly stood up and left the living room - leaving the rest of the pack somewhat bewildered behind. 

“What’s up with him?“, Taeyang asked, confused, and looked at his older brothers. „I don’t know, but something’s up. He’s been acting very strange for a few days now.“, Hwiyoung murmured, drawing his eyebrows together and thinking hard, “I think it started on Tuesday?“ 

“Did something happen at the shop? Something out of the ordinary?“, Zuho inquired and Hwiyoung shook his head. “Not that I know of. We had a few cars to repair and late in the evening, Inseong’s new scientific assistant came by, but that was about it…“ 

“Y/N was at the shop?“, Rowoon asked, earning himself a few surprised looks. 

“Do you know her?“ 

He nodded. “Yeah, Inseong introduced me yesterday. I like her, she’s really nice!“ 

“Huh... Well, I think she should come over sometime soon, so that we all get to finally meet her.“, Jaeyoon suggested, sounding a bit jealous. Dawon nodded. “Yes, especially as she’s going to be around Inseong so often - it’s only logical.“ 

Taeyang frowned at his older brothers. “Not really. It’s not as if both will be hanging around each other all the time during their free time.“, he tried to reason, but the other two just threw him dirty looks.

Meanwhile, Youngbin listened in on their conversation, hiding on top of the staircase. 

So, the others had noticed he was behaving a bit more strange after all. 

Damn it. 

He definitely had to do better in the future - or at least until he had decided what to do about his mate.

The rest of your week passed in a blur - you got some stuff for your apartment, finally unpacked the last boxes, went out for drinks with Inseong and spent a relaxed weekend at home with a Lord of the Rings marathon and a bottle of your favorite red wine. 

You felt very content and relaxed when you entered the office on Monday morning, but to your surprise, Inseong was nowhere to be found. Instead, a handsome stranger sat in his chair, fiddling his thumbs and seemingly waiting for him as well.

“Uh… Good morning.“, you said, raising both eyebrows, „Not to be rude - but who are you and what are you doing in my office?“ 

A dimpled smile lit up the stranger’s face and he immediately jumped up from the chair, walking around Inseong’s desk. He was tall and broad, with brown wavy hair and large, dark eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry! I was just waiting for Inseong, because I have to ask him something personal. You must be Y/N, his new scientific assistant, right?“ 

You nodded, shaking his offered hand. “And you are…?“ 

“Oh, sorry!“ His laugh was infectious. “I’m Jaeyoon, I’m part of the same pac- uh, we’re roommates!“, he finally explained, scratching his head and smiling down at you. 

“Ahh, right! He told me about his living conditions - you’re nine in total, right? Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jaeyoon.“, you smiled back at him, “But I have to say - I can’t help you. I actually thought Inseong would be here by now. He’s never been late so far.“ You frowned, gnawing on your lower lip. “I hope nothing has happened to him...“

“To whom? To me?“, an amused voice behind you suddenly asked and you whirled around. And there, just stepping through the door and into the office, was no other than your missing boss - two cups of steaming hot coffee in his hands. “I’m late one time and you immediately think something must have happened to me. I don't know if I should be flattered or offended.“ With that, he grinned at you and handed you one of the cups. “Hi Jaeyoon. What are you doing here?“, he then asked the other man, raising both eyebrows in a questioning manner. 

“Oh, I… uh, actually forgot.“ Jaeyoon frowned, thinking hard. “I wanted to ask you something, but it must have slipped my mind… I’ll just text you later if I can think of it again. See you! Bye Y/N - it was nice meeting you.“ He quickly smiled at you before hurrying out of the office. 

“Well, he seems nice.“, you said, before taking your place behind the desk. 

“Mostly… But he’s one half of the chaos line, so he can be quite… challenging at times.“, Inseong agreed, seating himself behind his desk as well. 

“The chaos line?“, you asked, confused, and Inseong laughed. “That’s what I call him and another one of my broth- uh, roommates, Dawon. They can be quite a handful - very mischievously, especially together.“ 

“Sounds exhausting.“ 

“Well, they can be. But they’re also real moodmakers. You’ll probably meet Dawon soon enough, if I know him at all. And to be quite honest, I think that was Jaeyoon’s plan all along as well - I don’t think he wanted to see me, but to finally see you.“ 

You laughed at that and shook your head. “Cheeky.“ 

“Oh, he is. But come to speak of it... Would you want to come over for dinner some time this week? Then you’ll finally meet my whole pac- I mean, my whole family.“, Inseong looked quite nervous upon asking you, which made you smile. He truly was just such a sweet guy.

“Oh, I would love that - I can make dessert, if you like!“ 

Inseong clapped his hand together, excitement written all over his face. “Oh, that’ll make Rowoon very happy - he loves cooking, but he’s not that much into making desserts. I’ll ask the others which day suits them best and confirm with you again?“, he said, obviously pleased with your response. 

“That sounds perfect, thank you.“, you agreed and returned his smile.

With that, you both finally began to concentrate on your work for the day.

[next chapter] | [all chapters]

[justinsdaysinthedark]

Post #2 - Thank You

What an overwhelming 36 hours it's been. An endless amount of phone calls & messages of support got me through what was an agonising day of waiting yesterday. This blog was started to keep my family and close friends informed about my journey but it's grown into so much more.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to each and every single one of you that took the time to reach out and wish me the best of luck. A simple message of support may not seem like much to you, but when you're in a situation like mine it means so much. Thank you.

Monday night provided the worst sleep I've had in weeks. Keep in mind, i've had some terrible sleeps in that time! Why? It was nerves. Simple as that. I was nervous for the gastroscopy and biopsy. It wasn't the procedure itself but the anaesthetic side to the operation. I haven't been under since I was five and the unknown had my measure. What if they didn't put me under fully? What if I could feel the procedure? What if I woke up early? What if I didn't wake up at all?

In retrospect, I lost sleep over nothing.

With the little sleep I did have, I woke up Tuesday morning earlier than normal. I was expecting the gastroscopy between 8:30am - 11:30am and knew I was booked in for a Radionuclide Ventriculography (RVG) scan of my heart later that afternoon.

Since being in hospital, 9am has been my regular time to get up, shower, brush the chompers - y'know, get ready for the day of sitting in my little 3x3 room and watching the world go past. Tuesday however, I was up and about at 7:30 - showered and ready. I hate feeling dirty, so if my procedure was at 8:30, I'd be ready to go.

Breakfast rolled around at 8:00 and I had to politely decline it as I was required to fast from 12am for the procedure.

This is about the time when my previous blog post took off and messages started coming in for the remainder of the morning. Before I knew it, it was 11am and nobody had been to get me for my procedure yet. I called the nurse and enquired to which I was told to hand tight, it shouldn't be much longer. Whilst she was around, she did my daily observations and it was no surprise to see my heart rate up to 100+BPM (regularly around 65BPM resting) and a slightly higher blood pressure. I guarantee this was due to the nerves.

Lunch comes around at 12:30 and once again had to politely decline. 12 hours fasting thus far - lucky I don't have an appetite still and honestly didn't care! It was around this time the doctor comes around with the results of my Lumbar Puncture. This fortunately came back negative as there was no major changes to the one I had three weeks ago. White blood cells still present with a marginally higher protein count than normal. I once again mentioned about my gastroscopy or there lack of and the doctor assumed I'd already had it. He said he'd follow it up and get back to me.

Mentally, I'm okay. Still incredibly nervous and a little frustrated I prepared myself for a procedure between 8:30 - 11:30 and still nothing. Your messages of support continue to light up my phone, which certainly kept me pre-occupied and made the time fly by.

Finally! 2:43pm and somebody comes to my bed to pick me up. "Justin Smith for a procedure? Let's go." I mentally build myself up as they take me. With my heart beating the quickest it had all day, we get going. Minutes later, we get into quite a dark room with a single scanner to my left and a glass wall. The radiographer, Liv meets me and goes through the basic questions. Name? Date of birth? Address? What are you here for? "A gastroscopy and biopsy" I reply. A few seconds of awkward silence follows so I split it with an "I think..." hoping to relieve the slight tension.

Liv replies with "not quite. We're here to do your Radionuclide Ventriculography scan of your heart."

My heart dropped. I spent the past fifteen minutes mentally preparing to go under and it's not even for the right procedure; I almost feel robbed!

To give you a brief understanding, the RVG scan involves injecting a small amount of radioactive material into your blood stream where they then track it until it passes through the heart, ensuring the heart is healthy and working as it should to a level that it should. Why am I having this scan? Good question. The doctors wanted to get ahead of the game essentially. Providing the biopsy comes back positive for lymphoma, I will need chemotherapy. The level of that chemo will depend, however if I do happen to require a strong dose, it can have negative effects to the heart. This scan is to ensure they have a baseline reading of my heart and ensure it will be able to handle a high dose of chemo.

This scan took 40 minutes from start to finish and before I knew it, I was up in my ward again. By this time, dad had arrived so at least I had somebody to talk to and reassure me when the time comes to get my gastroscopy.

4:00pm and the time finally came. 16 hours of fasting, I was slightly hungry but by this stage, I just wanted to get the procedure over and done with. I was still nervous, but more relieved the time had come. Having dad there for the hour or so beforehand made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.

The operation itself involved a gastroscopy (camera down my throat into my stomach) and if they could see lymphnodes, get a biopsy to test.

Cutting to the chase, was it worth worrying for 16+ hours? Not at all. All I remember is them checking my blood pressure, putting something in my cannula and asking me to count to 10. I got to 12 and next thing I know, I woke up coughing my lungs up in recovery with a nurse next to me. Luckily, the coughing only lasted for about fifteen minutes and that was just a result of irritating my throat.

Apparently, the gastroscopy went well and they were able to get a couple of good tissues from the lymphnodes to biopsy. Additionally, they also took the following photos whilst they were inside - I have no idea what they're of or even if anything is okay, but I thought they were cool!

For the first 45 minutes after the procedure, I felt fine. I was great! I felt incredibly thirsty and hungry but I assume that was simply due to the fact I hadn't eaten. Things from here turned pretty quickly once I had some dinner and a glass of water. I started to go downhill pretty quickly - feeling incredibly fatigued and tired....essentially dopey. It was from here I knew I just needed to have some rest and I'd wake up better in the morning. Needless to say, I was asleep by 9pm and basically slept through the night...except for when the nurses woke me up at 11pm, 12pm. 3am and 5am.

Waking up this morning (Wednesday July 17th), I instantly felt a lot better than I had last night. Admittedly, I had a bit more of a sleep in than I generally would've - it was great. I use the term 'sleep in' lightly though - it's nothing like a sleep in at home! What was the plan of attack for today? Well to be honest I wasn't too sure. A doctor yesterday mentioned briefly about a bone marrow test however the nurses and doctors on had no idea about one and couldn't see one booked in. I hadn't eaten since the night prior however the nurses got me to fast once again whilst they investigated. As a result, breakfast was staring me right in the face and I couldn't even touch my beloved weetbix, milk and sugar!

The clock ticks over to 10:37 and a Young, lanky doctor comes by. "Hi Justin, I'm Alex and I'll be doing your bone marrow procedure today..." Alex went on to explain the procedure, risks and what to expect. As he finished and started to walk away I had one last burning question. "When are we doing it? Later this afternoon?" "Now" Alex replied.

Woah. Wait. What? Hang on two seconds. I'm not prepared for this. You mean now...as in like, once Alex had finished preparing? You betcha....

Now I was under the assumption I'd be getting knocked out as I had done the night before however Alex proceeded to explain they'll put some medication in my cannula that "makes you feel like you've had four or five beers" as well as some local anaesthetic. No point being worried or scared about it - if it's getting done bedside, it couldn't be near as bad as the lumbar puncture, right? Once again, like I have been for the past few weeks I was completely and utterly wrong.

First though, what's this procedure involve? Basically, blood, white blood cells and platelets are produced in your bone marrow. This can be accessed via key areas of your body depending on your age...for me it was my hipbone - left side to be exact. The aim of the procedure is to get these fresh samples of blood, white blood cells and platelets as well as get a sample of my bone marrow - generally one small sample of the bone.

Alex got me curled up in the fetal position, lying on my right and basically began straight away. A few local anaesthetic needles numbed the surface before he inserted a needle in to collect the blood samples. This part was similar to a lumbar puncture, but I couldn't feel as much internally.

Alex then stated he was starting the bone marrow collection, which was without fail the worst part of this whole experience so far. He used the large needle with a blue handle, which can be seen below.

Alex hit the bone and advised me the next part was only going to tickle a little bit. What's he do? He starts to screw into my bone. Whilst I couldn't see, it felt very similar to uncorking a bottle of wine. Whilst he went in no deeper than 1mm, christ it hurt. The worst part was yet to come. Much like the pressure behind uncorking a bottle of wine, this happened too. Alex yanked the sample out and the pressure and pain was immense! Done. It's all done. Thank goodness. Then Alex said the words I didn't want to hear next. "Y'know what Justin? We want to make sure we only have to do this once, so let's get another sample, eh?"

Oh my lord. Are you kidding me? Whatever. Lets do it. I want to get it over and done with. I don't even think I replied, just mumbled something along the lines of whatever. And thus, the process happens again. I've attached photos of the two samples below, which I thought were pretty cool!

I must admit, Alex was incredible during the procedure. I asked at the start to keep me informed throughout the whole process. I'm quite an inquisitive character when things are happening that I don't know what the process is and this was no different. Alex not only kept me informed, he did as much as he could to keep me as comfortable as I could be during such a procedure. One thing I was incredibly surprised at was how much blood was on his hands!

Not much happened throughout the rest of today to be honest. Courtney, dad and mum came to visit but that was it. The doctors advised they are expecting the result of the biopsy tomorrow afternoon (hopefully) however they said it could take anywhere up to 72 hours from the procedure - which puts it at Friday night or Monday. Where does that put me? Same boat as I have been throughout this entire process - just waiting for answers.

I was advised that the results could come back either negative or inconclusive. Whilst this wouldn't be ideal, it's unfortunately just going to be another roadblock in this venture. In preparation the results don't come back the way we probably expect the, too, I'm booked in for an ultrasound of my gall bladder tomorrow. That will be their next avenue to answers. I suspect this is because my PET scan showed up significant areas in my gall bladder and I suppose that's not exactly a vital cog of the human body...so I suspect they'll just remove it, cut it open and see what's inside. But that's nowhere near a medical analysis of what's going to happen.

Before I finish for tonight, I'll leave you with how I am mentally. How am I going despite all this? Y'know what? I'm actually the opposite to what you probably think I am. I'm in the best mental state I have been over the past six weeks. Why? I think it's because we're close to (hopefully) getting an answer or at least following a more solid path to answers.

I end tonight with a final thank you. Thank you for all the messages and endless love. It's helping - trust me, it is.

Juzz xx

[tyranttortoise]

hiya lovely! So on Tuesday I'm going into major surgery and I'm pretty nervous about it. So if you have time, could I get some UT/UF/US bros comforting a S/O who's about to go into a 6 hour surgery? Thanks so much

(*Of course!

UT!Sans:

“hey kiddo, don’t be nervous.”

Sans wraps an arm around you, pulling you against his side.  The idea of the human hospital actually freaks him out a little, but you’d never be able to guess from his careful smile.  He rubs his hand along your upper arm, tilting his skull against the side of your head.  "the docs know what they’re doing.  you’re just going to take a little nap.  heh, what'dya say we practice for tomorrow?“

Sans begins to lie back, pulling you with him, cradling you against his chest. "by the time we’re done, you’ll be such a pro, you can do it with your eyes closed,” he teases lightly, chuckling.  He proceeds to just hold you on the couch, rubbing your back lightly, lulling you to sleep in his arms.

UT!Papyrus:

“DON’T WORRY, HUMAN!  EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT!  THE GREAT PAPYRUS KNOWS THIS TO BE A FACT!”  Papyrus says it with such confidence that it’s practically impossible to doubt him.  His hands are on your shoulders, his grin wide.  "I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WATCHING HUMAN SURGERIES ON THE INTERNET!  WHILE THEY ARE QUITE UNSETTLING AND ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING–“  He breaks off; honestly, he’s a little shaken after watching them, but he’s trying not to let it show.  He had no idea you were so fragile, that so much went into the repair of human bodies.  He only stayed up all night because he couldn’t sleep without nightmares after watching the videos.  Still, he’s determined to be the best skelebae possible.  

”–THEY ARE ALSO SAFE AND PAINLESS!  WELL, THE DURING PART.  THE RECOVERY–“

He breaks off again, sweating.  He’s blowing it.  "THE RECOVERY WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”  And what a great save!  "I’LL NURSE YOU BACK TO FULL HEALTH, AND TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING, SO DON’T YOU WORRY!  YOU WON’T HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER UNTIL YOU’RE COMPLETELY RECOEVERED!  AND I’LL BE THERE WHEN YOU WAKE UP!“  He pulls you against his chest– at this point, to comfort both of you.

UF!Sans:

"c'mere, sweetheart.  i can make you forget about tomorrow.”

Red grasps your hands and tugs you into his lap, his fingers automatically shifting to your hips once you’re seated.  He’s smirking as he pulls you close against his chest, his teeth lightly grazing the side of your neck.  He knows better than to leave any marks on you before a surgery–although, he has to admit that marking you is pretty tempting, if just to have a reminder to everyone involved that you belong to him.  No, he’s just trying to get your mind off it for now, to give you a reprieve from the bundle of nerves gathering in your stomach.  

He tilts his head up and presses his sharp teeth against your lips.  

“don’t think about it.  just think about me,” he murmurs, his voice practically a growl against your mouth.  

And he quickly makes sure the only thoughts in your head are about him.  

UF!Papyrus:

“I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE WORRIED.  DO YOU REALLY THINK I’D LET THEM DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU?  THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS WOULD BURN THE FACILITY TO THE GROUND IF THEY DARED BOTCH THIS!”

Papyrus is self-assured, his arms crossed and a scowl weighing heavily across his face.  While he means every word, he’s secretly concerned; the idea of humans operating on you doesn’t inspire confidence in him.  He’d much rather locate a monster with healing magic, even though you’ve explained to him that this is what’s best for your health.  

He looks away, hiding his concern behind his irritation.  "…I’LL BE THERE, YOU KNOW.  WHEN YOU… SLEEP, AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP.“  His voice, while still boisterous, comes out a little softer.  He reaches out and grabs the back of your head, pulling you against his chest with one arm.  He’s still looking away, his expression shifting to something much softer–something he doesn’t want you to see.  His gloved fingers stroke the nape of your neck.

"I’D NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU.. SO DON’T WORRY.”

US!Sans:

“I-IT’S GOING… GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT, H-HUMAN!  IT.. IT IS!  IT’S JUST… THEY’RE GOING TO…”

He can’t keep it together.  Sweet little Blueberry discovered what happened during a human surgery, and it has rattled his bones in a way that nothing else has.  The fact that you’re going to be subjected to it frightens his very SOUL.  He’s trembling, giant tears pricking the corner of his eyesockets, while his gloved hands are fisted at his sides.  

“I..I-I’M SORRY!” He finally wails, throwing himself at you.  His arms wrap around your frame, and he buries his face against your shoulder, his own shoulders shaking.  "I’M S-SUPPOSED TO BE STRONG AND…AND COMFORT YOU, BUT…!“  He breaks off, hugging you tighter.  "I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT I’LL DO IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU!!”

In the end, Papyrus ends up having to comfort both of you.  

US!Papyrus:

Even though you’re Stretch’s mate, Blueberry is still crying over the fact that you’re going to have surgery.  He’s watched some videos, and they scarred him for life, so he’s way more inconsolable than you are.  Papyrus ends up drawing you against his chest, his other arm snagging his brother and pulling him against his side.  

“it’s going to be ok, bro.  the docs know what they’re doing. they do this all the time.  human bodies are different from ours.  they’re strong.  they can handle this,” he assures Blueberry, which does seem to calm the smaller skeleton.  He breathes in deep, looking from Papyrus to you.  

“…REALLY?”

“yep, it’s all ok.  it just happens sometimes.  no biggie.”  He shrugs, and you know he’s downplaying it (on the inside, he’s definitely not as calm as he appears), but he’s not going to let his true feelings show.  With his brother calm, he twists to wrap both arms around you, pulling you down onto the couch, so you’re sprawled out halfway on top of him.  Sans sits beside the two of you and wraps an arm around you, leaving you in a pile of pokey skeletons.  

“it’s all going to be ok.  one minute you’re asleep, the next you’re awake–and probably going to say some hilarious things.”  His lazy grin lifts into a smirk.  "don’t worry.  i’ll capture every glorious moment on my phone so you won’t miss a thing.“  He smirks, chuckling, while you swat his arm and Blueberry mock-chides him.  Then, the two brothers pull you closer.