#How can you best express in words the feeling surrounding the issue

[remembertheplunge]

your blog is making me consider journaling even though its something ive struggled to pick up

Your struggle to pick up journaling is a good place to begin journaling from. Buy a note book, get some good pens and and start writing about the struggle. How it feels. Putting the pen to paper is cathartic. It puts the problem out there , outside of you, on the page. It helps you to see where you are with it.

Then move on to some of the things that happened during the day. I'm saying this because the last thing I do before going to bed at night is to journal.

Sometimes I save things up and can hardly wait to pour them out onto the page. This is when something really bad or upsetting has happened and I just cant talk about it with another person.

And, or, just write some details of the day.

If you get stuck, let me know here and I can help walk you it through.

The goal is to get hooked on it so that you have to write.

[bunnylovesani]

Daddy Issues 2

Content Warnings: MDNI, oral sex (m receiving), p in v sex, creampie, both soft and mean dom ani, praise kink, degradation, kinda dubcon, pretty much porn no plot

WC: 2.3k

Filled with so much joy at his admission of love, you turn to face him- leaping onto his lap and kissing him all over. You toss off the panties that were dangling at your ankles and grind over his work trousers.

“Keep these on.” You point at his suit pants while you unbuckle his belt, the sound of the clinking filling you with excitement. The smirk is wiped clean off your face when his dick springs out of his boxers and causes your chest to involuntarily tighten. The tip is blushed pink and glistening with arousal, sitting prettily atop his thick base which sprawls with swollen veins. You salivate when you notice how it reaches beyond his belly button and curves up just a little- neat blonde curls surrounding the base.

You don’t want to be cliche and whine about how it’s not going to fit- but seriously, how was that going to fit? You pensively reach out to wrap both your hands around his shaft, eyebrows furrowing when they aren’t nearly enough to cover the entirety of his manhood.

“Don’t you worry about that, sweetheart. I’ll make sure you can take it nice and easy.” His smooth voice fills the room, anticipating that you would be apprehensive about his size.

“O-okay Ani.” You murmur, big doe eyes staring up at him as you drop to your knees to observe him better. He shuffles about, pushing his hips forward and resting his hands on the back of his head.

Deciding to be brave, you take all of him in at once, bobbing your head lightly as you do your best to please him.

“Relax baby, I’ll love anything you do.” He mumbles supportively and your heart warms as spit pools in your mouth, gushing all over his cock. After you’ve got it sufficiently wet, you pump him with one hand and focus on the tip, sucking and flicking your tongue across it until you elicit sharp moans and groans from his perfect mouth.

Just as you’ve worked up a tempo, you hear Anakin’s distinctly shrill ringtone going off.

“Fuck…it’s Leia. She might be coming home, I need to answer this baby.” He checks his phone screen and scrunches up his face. “Just hold on a second.”

You scowl as he answers the call- he just couldn’t wait, could he? You were going to make him regret that. With an evil smirk, you licked a stripe up his shaft as his eyes widened and his hand attempted to bat you away. You grab him by the wrist, holding it down as you began sucking his cock sloppily- the fervent slurping noises coming from the act no doubt drawing Leia’s attention.

“Aah, no it’s nothing honey, I’m just- uh eating my dinner. Yeah, I made soup.” He shoots daggers at you with his stern expression- but his mouth is open and his eyebrows raised so you know he’s loving it.

“Alright darling, I’ll see you tomorrow. Yea…ah yea, good night!” He chokes out, hanging up as soon as the last word leaves his mouth. “You dirty little girl. You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

You shake your head innocently- as best as you could with his dick down your throat.

“She was just checking up on me, she thinks I’m a lonely, old man. If only she knew her best friend was here drooling all over my cock.” He rasps smugly and you feel your cheeks burning with arousal and shame as you come up for air.

“Oh don’t you dare stop now, sweetheart. You really thought I was gonna let you get away with that? Put that pretty throat of yours to good use and choke on my cock. Now.” He commands, grabbing you by the nape of your neck and pushing his dick past your wet lips. You wince at his change in demeanour but feel yourself tingling with excitement at the harsh words.

He fists your hair with a firm grip as he bobs you up and down his length, using you like a toy as you moan and whimper, eyes watering at the sensation of your throat being fucked raw.

“Just like that baby, suck daddy’s cock just like that.” He groans with increasing intensity. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna, ah- hey, why’d you stop?”

He looks down at you disapprovingly as you wipe the spit smeared all over your face off and get up from your knees.

“I can’t make you cum just from that. Old guy like you probably can’t go more than once.” You hum, wondering if your provocation had the desired effect.

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrow and glares at you amusedly. You stare at him with such innocence that he can almost picture a halo above your glowing angelic face. Anakin picks you by the thighs effortlessly, before throwing you over his desk- flipping you around and pressing his cock against your ass.

“Oh my God Ani, what are you doing?” You gasp as he places his broad hand on your lower back, pushing you so that your tummy lies flat against his cold oakwood desk.

“You’ve clearly only ever been with little boys if you think that one of them” He lines himself up with your dripping entrance. “could fuck you better than me.” He hisses as he slides in seamlessly, grabbing your arms and folding them behind you.

“You think I’m too old to handle a little brat like you?” He sneered, refusing to show his pleasure as you sniffled and whined. “Oh I’ll show you how old guys fuck. But I don’t want to hear you crying that it’s too much. You asked for this.” And with that, he slammed himself all the way in, going back on his earlier promise that he would make it easy for you.

You whine at the intrusion, aches of stinging pleasure ripping through you in such a way that you could’ve sworn he was fucking your brain and not your pussy.

“You’re fine, stop whining and take it.” He pounds into you repeatedly, digging his fingernails into your hips as he moves you into him; the room filled with the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin, wet squelching reverberating around his office as you clawed the wooden surface.

You lift your head up weakly and notice the framed photo of you and Leia resting on the corner of the desk and you let out a needy moan at the sight- heart warmed at how obviously he valued your presence in his life. You couldn’t believe your fantasies had finally come true- you’d dreamt about being bent over his desk and pummeled into oblivion a million times but now that your fantasy was a reality, you were overwhelmed with emotion and pleasure.

“Fuck sweetheart, you’ve absolutely drenched me in your cum.” He lets out a low moan. “Wanna do it again?” You nod, whining pathetically.

“Anything for you baby.” He reaches round and starts rubbing circles into your sensitive clit.

A new ripple of sensitivity overtakes you and you swear you can feel every ridge, every vein, every square inch of his cock- deep in your guts. You lean into his big-knuckled hand, allowing his fingers to bring you closer to your climax as he continues pounding into you, flesh smacking loudly and sending you into a cock drunk stupor.

“Please daddy, fill me up.” You whimper. “I need to feel you fuck your cum into me.”

“Oh my sweet little fucked out whore.” He grunts roughly and slams into you one last time, bringing you up and wrapping his arm around your chest as he fills you with cum. Your walls flutter around his cock, clenching as you throw your head back in euphoria and join him in climaxing.

“Fuckin’ love it when you cum all over my cock.” He grumbles quietly to himself.

“Wow Ani, that was -ah!” You squeak in surprise as he throws you over his shoulder and slaps your ass.

“I’m not done with you yet.” He growls and carries you upstairs to his bedroom, where he tosses you onto the mound of fuzzy white pillows piled on his bed.

“But-“

“No buts. I said I didn’t want to hear any whining, didn’t I?” He stares at you hungrily, towering over the bed. “Now lie back and spread your legs.”

You comply with his command timidly, unfurling your thighs slowly to reveal your dripping cunt, leaking with his seed.

“Now that is a sight to behold.” He crawls in between your legs, admiring the dishevelled mess that was your body. “Let’s get this back in, shall we?” He takes two of his fingers and scoops up the trickling cum, pushing it back into your sore entrance. Your mouth gapes open in scandal and your chest burns with a renewed desire.

“Fuck. Please Ani, I need you.” You panted miserably, as if not being filled with him in that moment was a fate worse than death. Being the gentleman he was, Anakin wasted no time lifting himself and pushing into you once more. You struggled to catch your breath and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as torrents of pleasure consumed you. Anakin’s smirking face floated above you, admiring how responsive you were being to him.

“The way you’re reacting you’d think I was torturing you.” He grinned as his eyes flashed brightly. “Bet you’d like that though, wouldn’t ya? Bet you’d love your daddy to fuck you senseless until you’re begging for me to stop because it’s too much. But I wouldn’t.”

The filthy words that came out of his mouth rendered you speechless; you’d never imagined Leia’s dad could be so freaky.

“You’re taking it so well f’me darling.” He lowered himself and whispered in your ear as he pulled his length all the way out, tip kissing your entrance. “Daddy’s so proud of you sweetheart.” He cooed before slamming himself all the way in, rings of cum coating his cock and splattering all over your inner thighs.

“Give me your hand baby.” He takes you by the wrist and rests it on your lower tummy. “You feel that? That’s my dick rearranging your guts.” You glance down and see the bulge coming into view deep within you, blushing profusely.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Aw, are you shy? Even though you were begging for my cum a minute ago?” He mocks you cruelly as you feel the tip of his cock brushing against that spongy spot deep inside you, acutely aware your orgasm was drawing near.

You cover your face with your hands bashfully but he bats them away in an instant and pins your arms down.

“You weren’t so timid when you were climbing my lap and begging me to fuck you earlier. What’s gotten into you now, huh? My cum slut is quiet all of a sudden. Did I finally succeed in shutting you up? What a fucking miracle.” He spat, stuffing your pussy full as his deep, hasty strokes grew sloppier.

“Who’s pussy is this?” He wraps his hand around your neck and locks his eyes with yours in an intense gaze.

“Mm fuck, yours daddy, it’s yours! This pussy belongs to you!” You let out a sweet little cry as a grin spreads across his handsomely weathered face. “Mmm Ani please!” You sobbed, right on the edge.

“What is it, princess? I’ll give you anything baby.” He whines softly.

“Please let me cum daddy, I need it so badly it hurts!” You choke out a stifled mewl.

“Do you want me to pump another load into you?” He jibes condescendingly, his lips curling into a smug smile. “Why should I?”

“Please daddy! Please let me have it, didn’t I suck your cock like a good girl?”

“That’s right, you were such a good girl for me baby- cum for daddy. Go on honey, let go for me.” He encourages you as he snaps his hips forward even harder, cock throbbing and threatening to spill at any moment.

“Ani, g- gonna cum-” You let out one last squeal as pleasure pulsated through you in an explosive release, reducing you to a trembling, sobbing mess. The sight alone almost brought him to tears as he bottomed out inside you, releasing everything he had to give and filling you up once again.

After a moment of catching his breath, he pulls out and you both glance down to observe the mess you’d made; layers and layers of cum were hanging off his pubes in gooey strings, your inner thighs were coated in your juices and the bedsheets were utterly ruined.

“What was that you were saying about me being too old to fuck you properly?” He sneers, lifting you and taking you into the bathroom while you lowered your head in shame - you couldn’t have been more wrong. He turns the shower on and checks the temperature is alright before guiding you inside.

“Oh baby, you’re shaking.” He notices and holds you around the waist to keep you up. “Was that okay? Was I too harsh?”

“No Ani, it was perfect. You were perfect.” You sigh contentedly.

“You know I don’t mean any of the stuff I said, it just comes to me in the heat of the moment- i-if you don’t like it then please tell me and I’ll never say it again-“

“Ani, quit rambling. I’m yours to do with as you like.” You gaze into his blue eyes, once glazed over with lust but now beaming with love.

“I love you so much you don’t even understand.” He murmurs gently as you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders.

“I’m the only one who understands.”

Part 1

[yawnderu]

My life is falling apart - could you write how Ghost might save reader from her emotionally abusive and toxic husband? I thank you, maybe one day I'll have someone like Simon.

Whoever you are, I'm here for you if you need to talk. Stay strong sweetheart, this too shall pass. 💖

CW: Emotional abuse, toxic relationships, hurt/comfort, protective Simon Riley.

Simon had sneaked his way into your life with the same stealth he uses on missions— a man who barely spent any time at his apartment and was always away for what he said was just ''work''. The same man who after a few conversations, started bringing you small gifts from his missions, always something different that he thought you'd like.

Simon isn't dumb— far from it, he's always aware of his surroundings and throughout the years, he knows how to read people well. That's why it breaks him to see the way your smiles now came accompanied with a nervous look in your eyes whenever your husband was home, despite you and Simon simply being friendly towards one another.

Whenever he was back at his apartment, he started listening more and more. Paying even more attention to you, ear pressed against the wall while he listened to your husband berate you for a plethora of reasons, all of them more absurd than the other, the truth heavy on his shoulders, weighting him down like Atlas holding the sky.

Oh, how he wanted nothing more than to go inside your house and ravage your husband the same way he does so casually in the battlefield— but he can't. Simon Riley is not Ghost. Simon has to lay low, to ensure both his safety and yours, so he starts planning. Planning how to approach the issue, how to get you out of the situation and understand you better. He'd never admit it, but he spent the entire night reading the experiences of other married women when it comes to abusive marriages, restless dreams full of ideas on how in the bloody hell he'll get you out of this.

He waits until the next day once your husband leaves for work, waiting out five minutes that feel eternal just to make sure he doesn't come back. Unmasked and with very faint stains of eye black that he never seems to be able to fully remove, he knocks on your door. You answer with teary eyes, sniffling softly as you try your best to give him a small smile, yet he can see the pain. The same pain he saw in his mother's eyes his entire life.

''Simon!'' You greet, moving aside so he can enter your house, closing the door behind you as you both go to the living room.

''Would you like a cuppa?'' You offer and it takes him a few seconds to decide, ultimately nodding his head. Maybe this will be easier if you're both having a nice, warm drink. You come back minutes later with a tray and some crumpets, something you started buying when he casually mentioned liking them.

''Thank you.'' He takes a sip of the perfectly made chamomile tea, done the way he loves it— with two teaspoons of honey and hot. You give him a happier smile, the warmth of his presence wrapping around you like a secure blanket, a far cry from your marriage.

''Love...'' He begins and your full attention goes to him, noticing his serious tone and pensive expression.

''There's no easy way to say this, but with this place having thin walls, I sometimes hear things I shouldn't.'' You immediately know what he's talking about, but before you can apologize on behalf of your husband, he keeps speaking.

''You deserve so much better.'' He puts his cup down, eyes looking down to his hands— the hands he keeps ungloved just for you, the hands that are protected by his skull gloves whenever he's out in missions, so he can come back to you free of sin. He sits down next to you, one of his arms wrapping around your back reassuringly.

''Why are you still with him?'' There's a hint of desperation in his tone, thin eyebrows furrowed as he looks at you. You want to look away, but his brown eyes are almost hypnotic. So expressive, so telling whenever words aren't enough.

''I... I don't know.'' You reply with honesty, tone strained as you hold back tears and try to dig into your brain for any reasons you're with the man, yet nothing comes up. ''I don't have anywhere else to go to.''

Your words hurt him as much as they hurt you, looking at the potential you have that is being wasted on some ungrateful wanker who berates you for the smallest things.

''Run away with me.'' He suggests in a spur of the moment and before he can even process his own words, a small giggle escapes your lips. He raises an eyebrow as he looks down at you, curious as to what's so funny. Your giggling stops when you notice the expression on his face.

''You're serious?'' You ask carefully, not wanting to make a fool of yourself despite knowing he'd never joke about something like that.

''I'm serious, love. We could go somewhere far away from here, safe. You can leave all of this behind, just say the word.''

''I...'' He can see your hesitancy, his warm hand rubbing circles on your back while the other one holds your hand, thumb rubbing the back of your hand reassuringly.

''What if he finds me?'' It's the first question that comes to mind, not wanting to deal with more of his abuse if you ever manage to get away.

''He won't, doll. I can promise you that. I'll get some of my mates to watch out for you when I'm busy at work, if it helps you.'' He knows it will, and he already has highly trusted friends from the 141 in mind to watch out for you whenever he goes on solo missions.

It took almost two hours of convincing before you agreed, and that's where you are now. He's helping you inform the police about your situation and why you're going away, just in case your husband tries to report you missing.

Most of your belongings were left at the house, but... it surprisingly doesn't bother you. It'll be a new beginning, the same furniture that has witnessed years of abuse is now left behind, only a few clothes inside his car while you both leave the police station. You take a deep breath, the warmth of the sun washing over your skin as you close your eyes, a sincere smile on your face for the first time in years.

''Thank you, Simon.'' My angel, my savior.

[mania-sama]

A Look into Mental Health: Jujutsu Kaisen Analysis

"Being a child is not a sin." (Nanami Kento, Jujutsu Kaisen)

With the release of Chapter 251, I've seen many horrible takes from dudebros saying that Megumi has "sold" the team. This makes me unreasonably angry because of course it does, so obviously my next plan of action is to take all of my hour-long rants about the mental health of JJK characters and put it here, where said dudebros will never see my (correct) analysis in their entire life. Oh well.

One thing Gege is really, really good at is creating believable, undeniably human, and complex characters. Every character has a different set of motivations, beliefs, ideals, and especially mental states. The constant theme of Jujutsu Kiasen has been "Strength vs Weakness". While the clearest interpretation can be seen through the physical attributes of the characters (Gojo being the strongest sorcerer of his time due to his abilities, and Miwa being one of the weakest, again, due to her abilities), it is also directly applied to the mental strength of characters. No two characters are able to withstand the same trauma and come out the exact same, just as no two real people can process the same trauma. Not only is it a result of nature, as people are genetically different and therefore process information differently, but a product of nurture - in other words, character motivation and environment.

This is where we come to the current state of the manga, Chapter 251. The fated Yuuji vs Megumi debate. I keep seeing people wildly misunderstanding these two, and why it's so important that Megumi isn't standing up to fight, why he isn't able to handle his trauma, when Yuuji can.

Gege writes phenomenal characters. And I want to express just how well done they are, making Jujutsu Kaisen actually kind of deserve its popularity, because some people only care about power scaling. I'm going to touch on Megumi last, because understanding all of the other characters' makes his visible struggle that much more impactful.

1. Geto Suguru

I want to start this mental health analysis with Geto. He is the best representation of depression I've ever seen in Shonen. It doesn't take a hundred chapters to showcase a character's downfall. It doesn't take a hundred significant events to cause a character to break down. Gege shows the best, realistic mental breakdown using only a handful of chapters, and still makes it slow and painful.

Depression can start because of a big event, but it doesn't take more for it to worsen. Untreated, depression runs a vicious course that eats a person through slowly but effectively. It isn't one screaming session, hands clutched over the head and cursing God and the world. It's everything piled onto each other. It's coming to the end of that pile and realizing that nothing will ever change.

This is Geto Suguru's story. He has a big event: the fight with Toji and the failure to save Riko. But his mental health journey was fated to decline, even without the fight and failure. The root issue of his depression came from his ability: Cursed Spirit Manipulation. As long as he kept devouring the embodiment of every vile, human emotion, the more he would lose himself to that vileness. He wasn't changing anything; he couldn't help but continue to swim in negativity because that's all he could do.

Gege wasn't making a commentary on Geto's ability. He was talking about people, as they are, and how staying in a bad situation will not always make you stronger. It can, and most likely will, make you worse. A direct comparison to the sixteen-year-old Geto would be a sixteen-year-old at school, surrounded by people who bully and pick on them with harsh words. The kid will eventually consume all of that bullying, all of that negativity, into their being, because there is simply nowhere else to go. School is mandatory; they can't just leave. They eventually feel isolated, with all that vileness piled on. Even if they have friends, those people could never understand what it's like to put up with humiliation and cruelty day after day.

It's not rational to push away a support system, but who said human beings are always rational? People make mistakes. They don't make the right decisions. Geto didn't. He saw someone offer him a chance at change, a possible light at the top of his pile and twisted it to match his overwhelming negativity. He left and swore to destroy the world that made him the way he is, just as that bullied child may turn away from school and society in whatever form that may take.

I want to touch on the physical aspects of Geto's depression, too. I noted this in a previous analysis I did on him (his character is just that amazing, what can I say?), but Gege knew that the mind can't be affected alone. Geto was drawn with deep eyebags, a nod to an inability to sleep or needing to sleep all the time. Depression makes you tired all the time. Everything becomes difficult. He sits with his back hunched, resting his weight on his knees, like sitting upright is too hard. When someone speaks to him, he blinks and takes a second too long to look over or respond, like speaking takes too much energy. To me, it even looked like he was becoming thinner. It's extremely difficult to maintain a schedule of exercise and mealtimes when your mind is fighting an active war against itself.

Again, a beautiful representation of depression. Geto means a lot to me in this aspect.

2. Gojo Satoru

In comparison to Geto, Gojo's horrible mental health is a lot subtler. Depression isn't the correct term, but you don't have to be depressed to be sad. Sadness is his stagnant state; he has moments of bliss, goals to work towards, a reason to keep going, to continue living, to continue chasing the sun over the horizon, but he does return to the same place he is always at when the lights turn off and he's painfully reminded of this one fact: he is isolated.

All of Gojo's problems start and end with isolation. From the moment he was born, everyone knew he was different. He knew he was different. Through glimpses of his childhood and honestly reading between the lines, it's obvious he never played with kids his age. People don't just develop a superiority complex with their only drive to be better than literally everyone else for no other reason than to get better. It comes from somewhere, and in Gojo's case, it's from his young childhood. It seriously messed him up; even now, he can't shake the lesson that "Strength is the only way to success and happiness".

This is what made Geto so important. Geto was somebody who could share the burden of being the strongest. Geto was someone his age who understood him in a way Shoko could not, though they both were able to see Gojo beyond his capabilities as a Jujutsu sorcerer. Gojo then had somebody to base his moral principles on. Because he couldn't connect with anybody else, he had no basis other than strength. Geto taught him why it was important for the strong to protect the weak.

Then everything went wrong. Gojo became isolated again in his strength and lost the only person who could plausibly stand with him. "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?" Gojo was young, then, and fresh-faced into his newfound godhood. He didn't kill Geto in that moment because he wanted to deny the claim that he is nothing without his strength, that he isn't as shallow as he was raised to be.

But he knew better. He grew older, he killed his best friend, and he realized that he was nothing without his strength. He never got over Geto. In order to cope with the guilt of being unable to save him when he left, he adopted a whole kid, thinking that if he wasn't strong enough to save Geto, maybe he could save Megumi. But there it is all over again - he never broke from the cycle of strength defining his worth. Saving Megumi would define his strength, right? It would prove Geto wrong, right? He raised Megumi under the same logic (that the only way to save his sister is to be strong), only ridding the boy of the crushing isolation.

In this way, Gojo isn't mentally weak. He didn't abandon society and everyone who loved him, instead choosing to hone the trauma of his isolated childhood into a weapon and teach the next generation to be better than himself. He isn't depressed, but he isn't happy. You can't be happy if you're alone all of the time. He hoped Megumi could be someone to stand by him, but in the end, he failed to save Megumi. His strength couldn't save him, just as it couldn't save Geto.

He isn't mentally strong. He isn't weak, either. He is horribly, painfully average. He's not weak enough to be saved, but not strong enough to save others. His childhood plagues him, but not to the point where it prevents him from living. He killed Geto but was unable to bury the body. Gojo is everything he never wanted to be.

As it turns out, strength can't buy you happiness. Gojo may have understood that, but he couldn't abandon it, even to the bitter end. Just as a human struggles to shed their conditioning. Not everyone can break the cycle, but we are always trying our best to work with what we've been dealt.

3. Okkotsu Yuuta

I'm putting Yuuta in between Gojo & Geto and Itadori & Megumi because he is, in a way, a bridge between the two. Geto and Gojo have lived their lives; their stories are complete and ended in tragedy. Itadori and Megumi's are not. They are still actively struggling and fighting their physical and mental battles; their stories have yet to be completed.

Yuuta's story isn't technically completed (ignoring everything that happened in the recent chapter with him for the sake of MY mental health), he is still a success story. He is the average protagonist who started from the bottom and ended up at the top. Only he, as Gege has done time and time again, has a slightly stronger focus on mental health than most other Shonen. He is success where Gojo & Geto failed, and the success that Itadori & Megumi are narratively striving for.

At the beginning, Yuuta was depressed and suicidal. He was bullied at school and involuntarily hurting others. Instead of becoming resentful of the world, he pushed all of the vileness inward. His guilt caused him to try to take his life, presumably multiple times, but Rika stopped him before he could succeed. His life was effectively out of his hands; he felt powerless with all of the bodies stacking around him, and he couldn't atone for "his" actions.

His mental health, as it was, was in shambles. Gojo then offered him a way forward. Yuuta's mental health did not improve overnight. It was when he made friends at Jujutsu High, and developed a support system, that he was able to relieve his anxiety and realize that life is not so bad after all. That all of this pain and suffering and loss - it will pass.

The most important thing to acknowledge when it comes to Yuuta is the sheer fact that he was not alone, nor did he allow himself to be alone. Unlike Gojo, who still had Shoko and Nanami after Geto left but refused to connect with them, Yuuta allowed himself to get close to those around him. They didn't know the suffering he'd undergone for so many years. They didn't know what it was like to be him, but that was okay. He knew that they had empathy, that even though they could never experience his life, they could still be there for him now when he falls.

When given the opportunity to surrender, Yuuta stands in the face of one Geto Suguru and swears to protect his friends and fight with Rika. He's so far removed from the boy who tried to kill himself at the beginning of the manga, and that's because he let himself be changed. He did not succumb. He had friends, he knew. People that would miss him if he left, and people whom he would regret leaving.

This stays consistent with his character. He doesn't let himself become isolated in his strength or his experiences. He's much stronger than everyone else in the room, he's a special grade and he knows that, but he still treats everyone like they are equals. Like they are his friends, like they are people who could share this burden of existence with him. This is something that Gojo couldn't accomplish, which lends to the fact that Gojo had a very off-hand teaching method when it came to mentoring Yuuta. Instead of influencing him under this idea of strength conquers all, he let Yuuta develop far away from the ideals of the Japanese Jujutsu Society.

And, in the end, the fact of him being physically strong - a special-grade sorcerer from the get-go - never helped him in his mental health. In fact, it made him miserable until he learned to get a handle on Rika. His winning or losing that fight with Geto wasn't the point of his character, it was reckoning with the fact that he is okay now. That he can embrace the ugly part of him with dignity instead of guilt.

4. Itadori Yuuji

Itadori's entire character is that he has an unbreakable spirit. As the only one who can bear the soul of Sukuna, he started off like Yuuta, only on the opposite end of the mental health spectrum. When we first see him, he's happy, spending his afternoons with the Occult Club and watching movies.

... What happened?

Like Geto, everything piled on very slowly. So slow that I'm not even sure he felt the true effects of everything he experienced up until the fall of Shibuya. It starts with the death of grandfather, whose parting words "Just save as many people as you can" haunt him even now during the final fight with Sukuna. He was never given time to properly grieve his grandfather, just as he never had time to grieve the brother curses, Junpei, Nanami, Nobara, Gojo, Higurama. At the end of it all, when the fighting is over, I have to wonder what will become of the boy that realizes he's lost most of the people he loved.

The one time he did try to process it, when he realized that he couldn't control Sukuna, was when he broke down in Shibuya. Sukuna leveled an entire city. For the boy who never wanted to kill another human being for fear of devaluing life, the weight of his weakness killing thousands was crushing. Then Nanami died. Nobara died (still hanging onto that unknown status but I digress). Both are right in front of him, and powerless to prevent Mahito from disintegrating their bodies. So, obviously, Itadori broke down. The boy with the unshakeable spirit, the only person who could contain the King of Curses, has his psyche completely shattered.

He laid on the ground, and he wouldn't have gotten back up if there wasn't somebody to help him, to be there with him. Todo pulled him back together, stitched back up the broken into somebody who has allies and people to fight for. Itadori has the success that Yuuta had, only Itadori did not come out of it with better mental health.

After the breakdown, his unshakeable spirit was nothing more than the will to keep fighting. He cares little for himself, and he tries to distance himself from people to prevent them from dying from his cursed hands. He is jumping, quickly, down the same rabbit hole that Geto fell down. One big event, and they realize just how tall the pile already is, and that it will never stop growing. Unlike Geto, however, he continues to get overbearing support from those around him. Against his will. He can't push them away, for they refuse to leave his side. Yuuta, Choso, Megumi, even Higurama. They won't let him fall. This makes him better off than someone alone, in a sense. He can withstand his trauma when others may not.

Even so, even so, there is only so much support, the lack of self-isolation, can do when the traumas keep actively repeating. When he says that he will gladly die to defeat Sukuna, it is not said with the same tone that another Shonen protagonist would say it. Take Naruto for example. If he were to go into a battle to protect, say, Sasuke, he would scream, "I'll die to protect him." We understand that his willpower is stronger than his self-preservation, but we don't get the idea that he actively wants to die. He'll die if he has to. Now, Itadori says the same thing, but about saving Megumi. He says, "I'll gladly die." There is something different. His willpower is leaps and bounds stronger than his self-preservation, but that's not only it. There is an undercurrent of severe suicidal ideation prevalent in Itadori's tone. It's not that he will die to win, it's that a part of him wants for this to be his final fight. For it all to be over. To save Megumi, then atone for the sin of being too weak to save Shibuya, or being unable to stop the Culling Games, or letting Megumi get hurt when all he wanted was to keep him safe.

I'd call it more along the lines of passive suicidal ideation. He doesn't plan to kill himself, but what would it mean for him to go into dangerous situations without protection? What would it mean for him to succumb to his wounds after he wakes Megumi's soul and kills Sukuna? To not even try to seek medical attention? He's guilty. He believes everything that happened in Shibuya and after is his fault. When faced with the executioner's sword, he was ready to die for his sins, if not for the goal of ending the Games. There is a fine line between willing to die for those you love versus wanting to die for those you love.

Right now, Itadori is fighting to save one person, like his grandfather said. He is not fighting to survive. And that's what people fail to understand about Itadori when they compare him to the other members of the cast. These power-scaling dudebros don't understand that their favorite OP main character has fallen apart at the seams, that his unshakeable spirit to save people doesn't include himself.

5. Fushiguro Megumi

Here we finally come to the question: Why can Itadori take it when Megumi can't? There is a very similar quote that you probably think of whenever you hear this question asked. It's from The Outsiders: "Dally is tougher than I am. Why can I take it when Dally can't?" The answer to this question that Ponyboy gives is the same we can attribute to Megumi. "And then I knew. Johnny was the only thing Dally loved. And now Johnny was gone."

The entire reason Megumi became a Jujutsu sorcerer was to protect his sister. When he was five years old and probably too young to understand most of the words Gojo said, he accepted the offer of training to become a sorcerer in exchange for Tsumiki's happiness. Every day, he fought to protect her. He only had one goal in entering the Culling Games: to prevent Tsumiki from having to participate.

It's easy to attribute Megumi's constant attempts at summoning Mahoraga to a lack of will to live - suicidal ideation, the same that Itadori now experiences. On one hand, I do understand that he has a fundamental lack of care for his own life, but on the other, I don't think that he intends to throw it all away every single time. He just didn't know any better. Ignorance can lead to death as easily as intentionally seeking it out. That's why he changes his habit after Gojo gives him a lesson in risking death versus dying to win; Megumi still has someone to live for, after all.

Megumi's mental health was already rocky from the start. Not that it was in shambles like Yuuta, but he wasn't fully stable. Like a lot of teenagers, he's moody, somewhat reclusive, and only really likes one or two people maximum. Teenagers aren't known for their sunshine mental health anyway.

Megumi was given time to grieve Itadori after he first died. This trauma of losing him in front of his eyes stuck with him, but he was allowed a grace period of two months to grieve with Nobara. He experienced Shibuya, too, but he still had that one important person to protect. His mental health was alright at this point, all things considered. As long as his sister was alive, he would be fine.

Sukuna knew this. So Sukuna killed Tsumiki using only the Ten Shadows Teqchnique. The one person Megumi spent his whole life dedicated to, was killed by his own cursed technique, his own failure to suppress Sukuna.

In the void of his soul, Megumi was alone. Truly, utterly alone. The only person nearby was Sukuna, the murderer of his sister, the murderer of thousands upon thousands of people. He drowned in the ceremonial bath of crushed curses to hold his soul down in the depths of despair, literally drenched in all of the vileness the world has to offer. Sukuna killed Gojo using Mahoraga's adaption ability, and before that, Megumi was forced to take several of Gojo's mind-altering domain expansions.

Already, he had given up. He gave up when his sister died, but the rest ground a pointed spur into his neck. When Itadori shakes his soul, Megumi is repeating, "That's enough." He was at the end of his rope a long time ago. What more is there to keep living for? He doesn't want to live with the blood of his sister, the blood of the man who practically raised him, and the blood of countless others drenching his hands.

Sukuna killed all of these people, not Megumi. But then, Sukuna killed of those people in Shibuya, not Itadori. Why can Itadori take it? Why can he keep fighting when Megumi lays broken on the ground? Itadori wasn't alone. And Megumi has never been known for his unshakeable spirit. That is the one thing that Itadori can hold over everybody else, the one trait that everyone admires. He was born to shoulder the burden of the world. Megumi wasn't. Megumi wants to die. He is not passively suicidal, for he has no goals left to complete, a plan to die within the body no longer inhabited alone. He is suicidal. He would drive a stake through his heart if it meant relieving his pain. He doesn't want to do it anymore. He's had enough.

And Itadori was in this position once, too? Perhaps not as directly, but he was there. Here is the moment that the protagonist gives the motivating speech to will someone to keep fighting, that life is worth living. I realized today that this is not something Itadori has done yet. He hasn't had a grand speech that's not been about his own willpower. He's never encouraged someone else to keep living in the way that you would expect from the main character. This is his moment, I suppose. He needs to be the person for Megumi that Todo was for him. He has to show Megumi that he isn't alone.

He needs to save Megumi when, all those years ago, Gojo couldn't save Geto.

I don't think some of this fanbase understands how horrible Gege has to be at writing if he just. Let Megumi get up to fight in Chapter 251. All this time, he has shown how Megumi has been defeated. He showed him crumbled on the ground, unmoving. It shouldn't be a surprise that all of the measures Sukuna took to ensnare Megumi's soul worked. Megumi is suicidal after the people he loves have all died because of his technique. God forbid a sixteen-year-old is unable to cope with his trauma alone.

Honorable Mentions:

There are a lot more characters in this story that represent/show mental illness that I didn't go into depth on but are worth mentioning. It was easier to only talk about the major characters since we spend so much time with them and I can fully flesh out everything that should/can be said about them. Anyway, here are a few more that are notably well-written in their mental struggles:

Yoshino Junpei. His story arc follows very similarly to Geto, except he is the bullied student I was making a reference to. Depressed, alone with a mother whose habits he can't stand, he turned to someone he thought could provide him a better life. Interestingly, he is a good representation of the type of children that tend to be groomed. That's surely what happened to him. Mahito used him, then discarded him for his own gains.

Ieiri Shoko. Her main struggle can be seen through her smoking habits. She's been through a lot, lost so many people, and has to keep healing sorcerers only for them to die. Eventually, she was able to come to terms with this. She kicked her smoking habit at the same time she kicked the vicious mental cycle of caring too much about the patient on her table. It's no wonder she picked up a cigarette, for the first time in a while, when Geto led the phantom parade.

Zenin Maki. She works as a very good contrast to Megumi. They both lost their sisters, the people they loved the most, but she turned all of her grief to killing the Zenin clan and gaining Heavenly Restriction. But this, this is because she could do so. There is simply nothing Megumi can do as a soul trapped in his own body. Her grief made her stronger, while for most, it made them weaker.

Inumaki Toge. He isn't seen a lot, but his story is ultimately quite compelling. A boy who hurt many when he was young. He turned his guilt into kindness, a will to protect. He tends a garden to raise plants healthily, for God's sake. He's one of the examples that shows Yuuta that your past actions don't define you, but instead, what you choose to do going forward.

I am not proofreading any of this before I post it. Sorry if it is borderline unreadable with spelling / grammatical errors.

[mint-yooxgi]

For The Hell of It - Ateez X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Crack!Fic & Idol AU

Genre: Fluff, Humour, Crack

Pairing: Ateez X Reader

Words: 7,178

A/n: So, this was inspired by my own frustrations as both a tall and chubby girl and always seeing indicators about how “small” the reader is compared to the love interest in reader insert fics. It’s time to pin THEM against the wall! They swim in YOUR clothes!! Hehehe As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Disclaimer: This fic isn’t meant to ‘call anyone out’ if they use these tropes or do these things the reader rants a bit about to start. This is just me writing out some of my feelings and expression emotions surrounding my own frustrations. If you aren’t tall or chubby, you’re still most definitely welcome to read this! It might put some things into perspective for you, who knows! Also, as a reference, I'm literally as tall as Mingi, so that’s how I pictured heights in this lol there may or may not be smuts to come of this later in the future, but that’s still undecided. ;)

Summary: San finally gets to live out one of his fantasies... yet, so do all of his friends.

A Friday night unlike any other. Well, for the most part. You finally had an evening where all of your schedules lined up, so you agreed to spend the night drinking with the guys. They were all celebrating a successful tour wrapping up, and the start of a month long vacation to rest after their most recent comeback. You, on the other hand, are celebrating a promotion at work, with a generous pay raise to boot.

You’re just happy you can all find jobs that you love, and still find time with each other to spend hanging out. You haven’t been best friends for years for nothing.

“No, I’m serious!” You continue, noticing you have every single one of their gazes transfixed on you right now. “I can’t count the amount of fics I’ve read that someone has sent me where it’s supposed to be a second person point of view, only for it to say some shit like, “you looked up into his eyes” or “character tilted your head up to meet his gaze”. Don’t even get me started on the “swimming in his clothes” trope.”

The way you snort is echoed by both Yeosang and Wooyoung.

“Literally, it’s so annoying when you’re reading something, get almost fully immersed in it, only for the “he towered over your small frame” to get thrown into the mix.” You continue, gesturing at yourself with your hands to emphasize your next point. “Like, what part of me is small?”

You laugh, incredulously, and most of them can only blink at you in shock.

“Listen, if I want to imagine myself, I don’t know, sword fighting with Zoro, I’m definitely going to be eye level with him.” You rant. “I’m literally taller than he is!”

“You read One Piece fanfiction?” Jongho asks, a teasing glint in his eyes as he takes another sip of his drink.

“There is a serious lack of Shanks reader inserts, and I am devastated,” you sigh, shaking your head.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Wooyoung leans forward, a mischievous quirk to the corner of his lips. “So, then, have you ever read any fanfiction about us?”

Your eyes gleam, “wouldn’t you like to know, loverboy.”

Mingi snorts out a laugh, right alongside Yunho as Wooyoung pouts.

“My one friend sent me a Changbin size kink one once,” you recall, scrunching your nose. “Weirder when you know the person, but like, I’m literally double his size. Was hilarious when my friend tried to explain to me how that was supposed to work when there’s no way in hell he could ever make me feel small.”

“Okay,” Hongjoong leans back onto the couch. “Don’t need to know that.”

“I can’t wait to tell Binnie about this,” Wooyoung cackles, already pulling out his phone to text said male.

“Like, I know it’s not the worst inclusion issue that reader inserts have,” you comment, shaking your head. “Don’t even get me started on the descriptions of skin tone or hair type. Yet, it just gets so frustrating when every fic you read isn’t as inclusive to you as you’ve been lead to believe.”

“Write your own,” Yeosang shrugs, offering a solution.

“I do!” You reply, and you watch as nearly all of their eyebrows disappear into their hairlines. “Though, half of the time it’s easier said than done.”

They nod, seemingly in understanding as you continue to rant.

“Literally, for once I just want to read a fic where the reader pins the guys against the wall.” You take another sip of your drink. “Have him wear my clothes for a change, and see how he swims in my hoodie.”

You fail to notice the way both Seonghwa and Jongho shift slightly in their spots, both swallowing thickly.

“And don’t even get me started on a lot of the chubby reader type fics out there.” You sigh, shaking your head once more. “I’m more than just my insecurities, but that’s all chubby people seem to be known for. Like, I’m fat, not ugly.”

The guys all tip their drinks in acknowledgement at that, agreeing with you wholeheartedly.

“Do you know how venerating it was when Resident Evil Eight came out, and everyone and their mom started simping for Lady Dimitrescu? Confidence boosting to the max. The fics that came out of it were immaculate.” You lift your hands in front of you for emphasis, touching your pointer finger to your thumb.

“Oh yeah, Sannie boy had much to say about her,” Wooyoung teases, and you notice the aforementioned man turn bright red.

“Hey!” He reaches over to hit Wooyoung’s knee harshly.

“Boy wanted to be pinned to the wall so bad he asked me to do it for him,” Yunho chuckles, only causing the younger male’s blush to deepen.

“Did you do it?” You raise a brow, pure mirth dancing on your features.

“No,” Yunho chuckles, shaking his head. “I didn’t.”

“Neither did I,” Mingi adds, grin stretching across his features and causing his eyes to crinkle at the sides.

You turn to Seonghwa who just shakes his head in response.

“Wow, some friends you are,” you laugh, turning your gaze to a pouting San in the next moment. “Still want to be pinned to a wall?”

Suddenly, he can no longer meet your gaze, embarrassed sputters escaping his lips. Yet, he doesn’t deny it.

“Wait, have none of you ever been pinned to a wall?” You look around, seeing as they all shake their heads in response. “Received a kabedon by someone you like?” More denials fall from their lips. “Then, I’m assuming you’ve never been lifted against a wall, either?”

“Can’t say that I have.” Jongho grumbles, lips tugging downwards in the corners as if the thought greatly distresses him.

“Seriously, you guys are missing out.” You take a sip of your drink. “Though, can’t say that I have, either. In fiction, though, apparently I’m a goddamn feather.”

A brief moment of silence passes over all of you as you collectively take sips of your drinks. Then, you’re turning to look at San.

“Do you still want to be pinned to the wall?” Your brow quirks as you ask him this for the second time, noticing how more than just San shifts slightly in his spot.

He averts his gaze, suddenly finding the coffee table between you the most fascinating thing. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” you stand, stretching your back out as you do so. “Let’s go.”

His head immediately raises to look at you, mild shock pulling at his features. It’s most apparent in the slight way his eyes widen, lips parting as he meets your gaze.

“I’ll pin you to a wall if you want,” you shrug stepping out of the sitting area and cracking your neck. “I am taller than you, and as long as you’re okay with it-“

“No fair! How come San is the only one that gets to be pinned to a wall by you?” Wooyoung complains, quite loudly at that.

“Oh, my offer is open to all of you,” you huff out an amused laugh. “If you want.”

The way you see them all straighten has the grin on your lips widening.

“I can’t promise I’m who you want to pin you, but just picture it’s someone else if you’d like.” You shrug. “But I’m willing if you are.”

Wooyoung physically hops off of the couch before attempting to male his way over to you. Only, he gets harshly pulled back down into his spot by Yeosang in the next moment.

You quirk a brow.

“The offer was for San first,” Yeosang grumbles, and though he tries to hide it, his cheeks begin turning the slightest bit darker as a blush dusts his features.

“So,” you trail off, tilting your head slightly to the side, “is that a ‘yes’?”

Both Yunho and Hongjoong quirk their bros at you, while Wooyoung nods eagerly. At the way Seonghwa, Yeosang, and Mingi blush, you know you have them, too.

“Well, if you’re offering,” Jongho shrugs, tossing the remaining contents of his drink back as he settles fully into the couch.

Wordlessly, Mingi pours him another one.

“Make it sound like I’m forcing you, why don’t you,” you snort, rolling your eyes. “Just say you don’t want to do it. You don’t have to give in to peer pressure, bubs.”

“Oh no, I’d love to see this.” Jongho grins, a sudden gleam to his eyes.

“Well, I’m first!” San immediately pops up onto his feet.

You grin, “someone really is eager.”

“It’s only been the biggest fantasy of his for-“

A hand gets clamped over Wooyoung’s mouth curtesy of Yeosang.

If your eyes could go any wider, you swear that they’d fall right out of your head.

“How do you want me?” San asks, moving beside you near the wall.

“Those are dangerous words, Sannie boy,” you smirk, turning fully to face him and noticing how he glances up into your eyes. “This is all about your comfortability though. The second you want space, or anything, you let me know. Okay?”

“Okay,” he nods his understanding.

“Do you want a full immersive experience, or just what you signed up for?” You ask, taking a step towards him while he takes one back.

The sudden dark look in your eyes makes his lips part, excitement strumming through his veins. At the way you quirk a brow at him, he realizes he still has yet to answer you.

“Uh,” how is his brain already this fuzzy when you haven’t even done anything to him yet? You’ve been close before, San clinging to you more often than not. However, it’s just so much different when he’s on the receiving end for once. So much more intense.

“Immersive! Immersive! Immersive!” Wooyoung begins to chant, followed shortly by both Mingi and Yunho. Even Seonghwa cannot help but to lowly add in his voice to the chanting.

San swallows, licking his lips. “Immersive.”

A cheer rising up from the other males in the room greets your ears, and it only serves to boost your ego for the moment.

Again, you quirk a brow. “Ready?”

A nod is all the confirmation you get before you’re bringing a hand up to firmly press it against the wall beside his head. The sound of your palm making contact is synonymous with the way his breath hitches as he watches you lean into him.

Slowly, you bring your opposite hand up to rest your fingers lightly against his chin. Your eyes hood over as you lift his head to make sure he’s staring deeply into your gaze.

You shift closer, the corner of your lips quirking upwards.

San’s breathing deepens, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows again thickly. Briefly, his eyes dart down to your lips. A fact of which, you seem to notice.

“Quite a different feeling when you’re on the receiving end, huh, Sannie?” You lean in, breath ticking the shell of his ear.

A shudder wracks his entire body, goosebumps trailing up his arms as his chest just brushes against your own with each breath he takes. His lips clamp shut, suppressing the moan that wants to escape him.

“Do you want to wrap your leg around-“

The question hasn’t even finished leaving your mouth when you feel him lift his left leg to loop it around your side. Your hand immediately finds purchase on his thigh, and you can physically feel the way he trembles within your touch.

A chorus of ‘oh’s echoes behind you.

“Shut up!” San snaps, turning his head to glare at his group mates.

Unfortunately for him, the movement causes you to drop his leg, backing off of him shortly after.

San’s lucky to turn back around to face the others the moment you move off of him, for you fail to see the way he slaps the sides of his cheeks with both hands. The way he can feel his skin continuing to heat beneath his own touch only adds to the fire burning within his soul from these turn of events.

He knows you said he could picture anybody pinning him, but the fact that it was you somehow made it so much more intense. It was - you are - perfect in every way, and this has just made him realize that. How could you fit together so easily, like this was a position you had always been meant to be in with him?

The worst part is, it’s over, and he may never get to experience this type of euphoria again.

“Alright, who’s next?” You turn to the remaining males, not noticing the crisis San seems to be having against the wall behind you.

“Oh, me, me!” Wooyoung, again, eagerly pops up from the couch, only to be dragged back down by Jongho this time.

“I’ll go,” Yunho surprises you by standing to his feet. At the curious looks both Hongjoong and Yeosang send him, he’s shrugging. “What? I’m intrigued.”

“Alright, Beanpole,” you motion him over using two fingers in a ‘come here’ gesture. “You’re next.”

He mumbles slightly under his breath about you calling him ‘Beanpole’ again, stating how you’re no different, seeing as you’re practically eye-level with him. Though, with the way he eagerly steps over Mingi who still rests on the floor, you can tell he’s attempting to maintain his composure for now.

Finally, San walks back to his spot beside Seonghwa, almost as if in a daze. Only when the elder male pats the younger on the shoulder does he seemingly snap out of it. In the next moment, San sits back on the ground, pulling a pillow over his lap as he leans forward.

“If my back gives out, you guys are paying for my medical bills,” you casually comment, turning towards Yunho who leans against the wall.

“Are you planning to lift us?” Hongjoong asks, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Possibly,” you shrug. “Depends on if you want the full immersive experience or not. I’ve got ideas for all of you.”

“Oh, so you’ve thought about this before?” Yunho’s familiar smug grin begins to pull at his features.

“Not necessarily,” you hum. “It’s just more interesting this way.”

“Then, please,” he meets your gaze, “immerse me.”

The moment those words escape his lips, you’re in front of him. Your hands gently grab his waist, before stepping directly into him. Your brow quirks just as you hear his breath hitch.

“When I tell you to jump, jump.” You say, a playful gleam shining in your eyes.

He nods.

“Jump.” 

The moment your hands settle on the skin of his thighs, you press yourself fully against him. The way your chest feels rising and falling against his own sets his heart fluttering in his chest. Not to mention the way you quite literally have him pinned against the wall in your arms. 

His eyes are wide, breath hitching in his throat as the full reality of the situation comes crashing down upon him. Never has he imagined that he could be the one being held against the wall like this. The way your eyes shine as they continue to stare into his own only make it that much more intense.

Yunho swallows as he hears you giggle. 

Shit, he really wasn’t prepared for this.

“What’s the matter, Yuyu?” You tease, breath tickling the skin of his neck as you lean into him. “Tall girl caught your tongue?”

A few hoots and hollers are heard from the others as Yunho’s ears turn bright red. His lips part in answer, but no words escape him, too immersed in the feeling of your warm, plush body pressing against his own. The way that you’re suddenly slightly even taller than before as you hold him against the wall, his legs wrapped around your waist, has a pleasant shiver running down his spine.

A moment later, and you’re dropping his legs back to the floor.

You smile, patting the side of his gobsmacked face gently. “There ya go, beanpole. Now you know what it’s like.”

Turning around, you see Mingi practically rush to his feet. “Me next.”

You chuckle at his eagerness as Yunho slowly walks back to his spot, caught in a trance.

Just as San was before him, Yunho cannot help but marvel at the feeling of having you pin him to the wall. He never really thought about it before, and it was simply to sate that curiosity in his mind, but the fact that it was you, and that he enjoyed it immensely because it was you, is making his head spin.

He swallows thickly.

“Come on, Big Boy,” you extend your hand out to Mingi in offering, to which he gladly takes.

A giddy smile rests on his features as you guide him over to the wall. The eagerness you can sense radiating off of him is contagious, and you cannot help but to mirror his expression.

Your lips part in question, but Mingi beats you to it.

“Immersive.” He confirms with a firm nod, only causing you to chuckle lightly in response.

“I think it’s safe to say we all want the immersive experience right now,” Seonghwa voices, and you spare a glance back at the group to see all of them eagerly nodding at you.

“And here I thought I was touch starved,” you joke, a giggle to your words.

“Hey!” Wooyoung complains. “When you have a pretty lady offering to pin you to the wall, call us, and then see how you feel.”

Compliments from them, especially Wooyoung, are not unusual. However, something about this time feels different when he says this. Perhaps it’s the way he never breaks eye contact with you, or perhaps it’s the way you can just feel how sincere his words are. Still, it shocks you to your core.

You let out an amused puff, turning back to face the male trembling in excitement against the wall.

“Woah, there, Big Boy,” you grin. “Don’t be turning full Chihuahua on me.”

“Oh, leave the poor man alone,” Hongjoong joins in on the teasing. “He’s just excited.”

“It’s not like I’m giving him a lap dance.” You chuckle, stepping in closer as you watch Mingi’s face turn a bright red.

“Are you offering?” Wooyoung sounds just a tad too hopeful.

“Don’t even joke about that, Woo,” San throws the pillow in his lap at his friend.

“Yeah, cause you probably wouldn’t be able to hide your boner next time.” Yeosang deadpans.

A beat of silence.

Laughter erupts throughout the room as San turns bright red once more, stuttering out denials all the while. 

“You won’t be laughing when it’s your turn!” He shouts, pulling his knees up to his chest as a pout pulls at his lips.

“Hey, no judgement here,” you grin, raising your hand nonchalantly in his direction. “Huge confidence boost when knowing you can turn someone on like that.”

San sticks his tongue out in Wooyoung’s direction as if to say, ‘so, there.’ 

You chuckle once more, taking the time to casually lean against the wall right beside Mingi using your one hand. The way you see his whole body freeze for a moment as his breath gets caught in his throat has a smug grin pulling at your features.

“By the way, are we still on for movie night next week?” You ask casually, completely ignoring the male beside you for the moment.

“I swear, if you make us marathon Star Wars again,” Hongjoong jokingly turns to glare at Seonghwa.

“Oh, give the guy a break,” you comment. “It’s his favourite series.”

“Have you seen the new Lego Death Star that just came out?” His eyes light up, looking around hopefully at each of the males scattered around the room.

Yunho nods, somewhat aware of what the elder male is talking about as the topic of Legos is discussed.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Mingi finally calming down. Though, the slight pout that pulls onto his features has you leaning in to his ear.

“Don’t worry, Min, I haven’t forgotten about you,” you whisper, lips but a hairsbreadth from his ear. He shivers again, and you smirk. “Immersive, remember?”

In the blink of an eye, you’ve shifted your position to stand directly in front of the male. Your head is still buried in his neck, nose barely brushing against his skin as his breath hitches once more. Again, your hands settle on his hips as you lean into him, and he swears he can feel you smirking against the side of his throat.

The room goes silent, watching the scene unfold before them. The others seem just as caught off guard as Mingi is by your sudden shift in position.

Yet, why are Yeosang, San, Wooyoung, and Hongjoong suddenly all feeling jealous?

You pull away form Mingi’s neck only to move in impossibly closer. Your one leg slips between his own, nose brushing against his as the corner of your lips tugs upwards. In the next moment, you’re lifting a hand to cup the side of his face.

The way your thumb tenderly strokes along his cheekbone as you step away mirrors how your touch fades from his skin. A fact of which he doesn’t like all that much, body attempting to follow yours as you pull away.

“Someone likes attention more than I thought,” your voice is light, a teasing glint to your eyes as Mingi begins stuttering before you.

“You can’t blame the man,” Jongho takes another sip of his drink. “You’re acting hella intimate with us all of a sudden.”

“I said immersive, remember,” you playfully wink at the youngest, noticing how he hides the lower half of his face behind his glass in the next second. “If you don’t want it, I won’t do it. I told you, I’m not trying to make any of you uncomfortable.”

“Well, more for me, then,” this time when Wooyoung stands up, neither Jongho nor Yeosang stops him. “Make it as immersive as you’d like, Darling.”

“As long as you can handle it, Baby Boy,” the moment the words slip passed your lips, a chorus of ‘oh’s reach your ears again.

Just as Wooyoung happily bounds over to you, you notice Mingi trudging back over to his spot on the floor.

Mingi cannot help himself. He’s distracted, mind reeling with the revelations of the past events that he’s just experienced. The only problem is, now, he wants more. He wants you to hold him against the wall like you did Yunho. He wants you lean into him again, just like you did with San. Only this time, he wants to feel your lips on his own.

He shakes his head. What is he thinking? You’re one of their closest friends. He shouldn’t be thinking about all the other ways that you can pin him, and then how he can pin you to the wall. Perhaps, even to the bed…

“Oh, this is going to be good,” San shifts forward, eagerly watching as his best friend finally gets to experience what he did only a short while ago.

Wooyoung is eager. In fact, he’s the most visibly eager out of all of them so far. Well, that you can tell. He even goes so far as to reach out for you, back not quite pressed against the wall.

Before he can so much as touch you, though, you have his wrists in your hands, pinning him to the wall. You lean into him, body towering over his smaller frame as a choked moan manages to escapes his lips. From the way red begins to creep up his neck, you know that he did not mean for that to come out so suddenly.

“Did I say you could touch me?” Your voice lowers, head tilting to the side almost mockingly.

His eyes go wide, and you’re surprised how willingly he shakes his head ‘no’.

The corner of your lips raise. “Good boy.”

This time, the moan that escapes him is much louder than the first. You watch on in amusement as he begins squirming beneath your hold, hips shifting slightly against the wall as you keep the lower half of your body distanced from his. He whines slightly when he realizes you aren’t budging.

Behind you, the rest of the guy’s jaws drop.

“You were just waiting for this, weren’t you?” You hum lowly, feigning concern for his current state. “Desperately wanting someone to hold you like this against the wall?”

Wooyoung bites down on his bottom lip, nodding shamelessly.

You step in closer, and you can physically feel how his body melts into yours. You lean into his neck, lips ghosting the skin just below his ear. “Good boy.”

The moment you back away from him, Wooyoung lets out a whine in protest. As soon as you release your hold on his wrists, he reaches for you, but you easily dodge his hands. A chuckle falls from your lips as you see him pout.

“So,” Hongjoong’s voice draws your attention to his smirking features across the room, “you’re a domme.”

“What was your first clue?” You quirk a brow back at him, amusement dancing in your eyes. In the next second, you shake your head, noticing how Wooyoung begins to walk back to his spot in a haze, that pout still tugging on his lips. “When I want to be, I can do both. Not that any of you will get to experience either.”

“Not that we’d want to,” Jongho rolls his eyes playfully.

You point in his direction, “hurtful.”

“Never say never,” Seonghwa breathes, seemingly lost in his own world for the moment.

Your brow raises, mild surprise painting your features as he seemingly comes back to reality. The tips of his ears begin to go red once he’s realized what he’s just said.

“Well, I think our eldest here should go next, then.” Yunho claps the male on his shoulder, giving him a firm shove forward all the while.

“Yeah, come on, Hwa,” San encourages, a knowing gleam in his eyes. “It’s much more fun than it looks.”

“It looked to me like you were having a lot of fun, there, San,” Seonghwa’s eyes sharpen slightly as he pushes himself to his feet.

“I can’t watch,” Yeosang shakes his head playfully, standing to his feet and heading down your hallway in the next second.

Your eyes follow the movement, amusement shining within.

Seonghwa stepping towards you draws your attention.

“I’ve never been a fan of getting pinned to a wall.” He states, somewhat bluntly.

“I don’t have to pin you to the wall, you know.” You grin, nudging his shoulder lightly with your own.

“I thought the whole point of this was to ‘show us what it feels like’,” Jongho comments, placing his now empty glass onto the coffee table before him.

“There are other ways to encapsulate the same types of feelings,” you reply, placing a gentle hand onto Seonghwa’s shoulder.

“And just how do you plan on doing that?” He raises a brow curiously at you.

“Wrap your arms around my shoulders,” you begin, already moving to lean into him to prepare yourself for what you’re going to do. “I’ve seen videos of you guys doing this with each other, but,” you shrug briefly, “context.”

Seonghwa’s brow furrows, but he still does what you ask of him.

The moment you feel his arms wrap around your shoulders, you’re bending down and lifting him into your arms.

“Oh, Jesus, I wasn’t prepared,” you wobble slightly, now carrying him bridal style in your grasp. “How the fuck do you guys make this look so easy.”

“Are you saying I’m heavy?” Seonghwa pouts, resting quite comfortably in your arms for the moment.

“No, I’m saying I’m surprised my noodle arms haven’t given out on me yet without the wall for support.” You reply, a slight chuckle to your words.

“Should we start preparing those medical bills of yours?” Hongjoong teases, though you notice there’s a certain glint in his eyes that has never been there before. Well, not that you’ve ever noticed. A glint that has only appeared due to the fact that he’s witnessing you be so close with the others. Others that aren’t him.

“Hey, can I borrow a sweater?” Yeosang calls from down the hallway. “I’m cold.”

“Go for it!” You call back, shifting your hold on Seonghwa slightly as he peers out at the rest of the guys while still held in your arms.

“You know, you’re right,” he hums, nuzzling himself deeper into you. “This is quite nice.”

“It’s the old ‘Uno reverse card’,” you chuckle, setting him back onto his feet just as Yeosang comes meandering back into the room. “You don’t realize you want it until it’s happened to you.”

Yeosang stops just beside you, blinking at the way Seonghwa slowly returns to his spot. The way the eldest glances almost longingly back at you from over his shoulder while doing so does not go unnoticed by any.

Turning your head, you finally notice that Yeosang has opted to clothe himself in one of your largest hoodies. The material quite literally drowns him, the hem reaching the middle of his thighs.

“Now, this is what I’m talking about,” you motion to Yeosang’s body, nodding approvingly.

“Yeah, yeah, we all know you like Yeosang,” San rolls his eyes, cheeks puffing slightly as he rests his chin on his knees.

“First of all, I like all of you,” you reply, a playful snort escaping you as you smile. “No, I meant the clothing difference. This is what ‘swimming in their clothes’ means. It’s nice to be on the receiving end instead.”

“But you’re not the one wearing the clothes?” Mingi’s brow furrows, confusion shining on his features.

“You know what I mean,” you wave him off. “Literally, I can understand certain size kink fics now where the character fucks their love interest in their hoodie, and nothing but their hoodie.”

“Are you saying you want to fuck me in nothing but your hoodie?” Yeosang quirks a brow, a wide grin tugging at his features.

“Depends,” you hum in response, and you watch as Hongjoong spits out his drink, choking on the liquid in the next second.

“On?” He tilts his head curiously, blinking innocently.

“You wanna wear my thigh highs, too?” The way you see his eyes nearly bulge out of his head at your words has all of you bursting into laughter.

However, what you fail to see is how Yeosang goes quiet, cheeks flaring with colour.

“Well, this is certainly a game of truth or dare I never expected to get into.” Wooyoung cackles, tossing another drink back.

“I think we’re learning more about your interests tonight than in all of the years we’ve known you.” Yunho laughs, leaning back in his chair.

“You’ve never asked,” you shrug his words off casually, mirth dancing within your eyes.

“Who’s turn is it, anyways?” Yeosang grumbles, hiding his hands deep within the sleeves of your sweater.

“Yours.” Your response causes another round of heat to spread across his cheeks.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Wooyoung nudging Jongho beside him. A male of which is clearly annoyed by the elder’s actions, but who nudges back, nonetheless.

“I don’t know how I feel about being pinned to a wall,” he raises his hands in front of himself in caution, backing away from you slowly. 

The way his hands are hidden by the long sleeves of your sweater has you smiling lightly.

“If you don’t want me to, that’s quite alright,” you reply with a nod in understanding. “Like I said, I’m not about to force you guys into something you don’t want.”

“Oh, believe me,” Wooyoung chuckles, hiding somewhat behind Jongho as Yeosang takes a threatening step towards the younger male in warning. “He wants it.”

“I’ll believe it when he says it,” you tilt your head in acknowledgment in Yeosang’s direction, meeting his gaze once more.

The room goes silent, all of you turning to look at Yeosang once more.

“Uh,” he blinks, turning to look at any one of the other guys for help. Only, the way they simply watch on in glee lets him know they’re not going to do anything.

“Welp,” you turn back to the seven guys seated around your living room. “Maknae, leader, which one of you is next?”

“I’ll do it.” Yeosang’s voice from behind you draws your attention to him once more.

“Oh?” The smug grin on your face says it all, and he swallows thickly.

“Not against the wall, though.” He replies.

“That’s fine,” you reply with a nod, walking closer to him in your next breath.

You motion him closer, and he steps into you quite eagerly. Though, he does attempt to hide it, he doesn’t do a very good job.

“When I tell you to jump, jump into me,” you whisper lowly into his ear, and the way you feel him shiver as you lean away from him has that familiar smirk tugging at your lips. “Jump.”

Yeosang hesitates only a moment before quite literally leaping into your embrace. Your hands come to settle on his thighs, pulling him closer into you as he wraps his arms around your neck.

“Kind of different when you’re on the other end, isn’t it?” You smile, eyes crinkling as you watch him nod, somewhat amazed for the moment.

The way you can feel him tighten his legs around your waist has you chuckling, turning back around to face the other guys.

“This is… different than I thought it would be,” he mumbles into your ear, chin resting on your shoulder as he buried his face into the side of your neck. “It’s quite nice.”

The way you raise you eyebrows in agreement says it all, that same knowing look shining on your features. 

Slowly, you lower Yeosang back to his feet, but he doesn’t release his hold from around your shoulders. Of course, you lean down slightly, allowing him to embrace you for as long as he wants.

“Another perk to it is simple things, like hugs.” You say, just as Yeosang finally pulls away from you.

Of course, you notice how he avoids your gaze now as he walks back to his spot on the couch.

“What do you mean?” Mingi inquires, knocking back the rest of his drink shortly after.

“Chest height.” You shrug, to which he immediately starts coughing at your answer. “What? You’re telling me you wouldn’t take full advantage of burying your face in your significant other’s chest if you could?”

You notice the gears in San’s head turning, before a devious look is shining in his gaze. “Does that mean I can have a hug, then?”

He starts to move, only for Hongjoong to reach over and quite harshly tug him back to the ground.

“Ow,” San begins to rub at his ass. “The fuck was that for.”

“You’re not as slick as you think you are,” Jongho rolls his eyes, standing up from the couch next.

“She didn’t deny it!” San counters, pointing in your direction all the while.

You shrug, “maybe next time.”

The way they all turn to look at you, eyes full of both mild surprise, but also excitement has you chuckling in response.

“If that excites you, you guys should all really try thigh riding,” you joke, and you notice how Jongho stumbles over his own two feet just before reaching you. “Oh, someone’s eager.”

“Shut up.” He grumbles, leaning back against the wall closest to you with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Is that a challenge?” You quirk a brow, turning fully towards him now as you take a step forward.

“I doubt you’re up for it,” he quips, the corner of his lips twitching upwards.

“You’re right,” you smirk, hand landing right beside his head as you lean into him. The way his breath hitches has your voice dropping slightly. “I’ve never really liked brats, but that doesn’t mean I’m not up for taming one.”

A mixture of loud, boisterous laughter, and pointed ‘oh’s can be heard from the others around you.

You huff, clearly amused by how silent Jongho gets. His arms fall to his sides as you step in closer, noticing how red begins to creep up his neck as he attempts to maintain his composure.

“What’s the matter, Baby Bear?” You feign concern, your nose brushing against his neck as you lean further into him. “All bark, and no bite?” He shivers as your breath caresses his skin. “Pity.”

His one hand moves to grab your hip, but you’re much quicker.

In the blink of an eye, you have his wrist pinned against the wall, your one leg sliding between his own.

“I wouldn’t try that, if I were you,” with the way your head tilts and the angle you find yourself in, you manage to be looking up at him through your lashes. 

Jongho has never felt smaller in his entire life. The position he finds himself in with you, combined with your words and the way your looking at him has him melting into your touch. So, when his body sinks slightly, allowing himself to rest on top of your thigh between his own, you let him.

The worst part for him, though, is when you pull away.

Jongho just manages to catch himself before he stumbles forward, not expecting you to release him so suddenly. He can only stand there, staring intently at the floor for a good thirty seconds in order to compose himself as you turn back to the other guys.

“Goddammit,” he curses lowly. “How are you so good at this?”

You giggle, and the sound fills the room with a vibrance unlike anything before. Yet, why are their hearts suddenly racing?

“It’s nothing more than the shock of your first time experiencing something like this, probably,” you shrug him off, proud smile pulling at your features. “Or you’re all just secretly in love with me.”

This time, it’s Seonghwa who spits out his drink in response, choking on his breath soon afterwards. Comfortingly, Yunho pats his upper back.

“I’m just playing,” you chuckle, arms crossed loosely over your chest as you shake your head.

“Seriously, you were right,” Wooyoung voices, staring directly at you while Jongho slowly moves back to his seat. “I never knew I needed this until now.”

“San was right to want this,” Yeosang corrects, shooting a brief look at the aforementioned male out of the corner of his eyes.

“I’m glad I could be of service,” you salute lightheartedly, two fingers pressing to the side of your forehead before letting out a small click of your tongue as you flick your wrist.

“Hang on, you’re not done yet.” Hongjoong stands to his feet, and immediately, there’s a sudden tension that fills the room.

“Never said that I was, Captain,” you wink playfully, and you almost miss the way he loses his footing just as he steps over Mingi for the moment. Though, you chalk that up to him simply misplacing his balance.

The moment he steps before you, a silence unlike ever before fills the room. All of the guys watch on eagerly to see what you have planned for their leader, and just how he will react to it, too.

“So, I take it you want the immersive experience?” You quirk a brow teasingly.

“Give me everything you’ve got,” he replies, breathlessly.

“I don’t think you’re ready for that, yet, mister,” you poke his upper chest lightly, noticing how he tilts his head upwards slightly to meet your gaze.

“We’ll save that for later, then,” he grins, noticing how you slowly begin to back him up into the wall.

“Who said there will ever be a later?” You hum, tilting your head slightly as you watch him lightly hit the wall behind him.

His breath hitches as he looks up at you through his lashes, the corner of his lips tugging upwards slightly.

“I just did.”

This time, when you place your hand beside his head, it’s slow. The movements are precise, keeping your arm straight for the moment as you casually lean into him.

“Oh, really?” You quirk a brow. “What makes you so sure that I’ll agree?”

Hongjoong smirks, his one eyebrow twitching upwards slightly. “I’m positive you’re just as curious as I am.”

“Am I?” You hum, taking a step in closer to him and noticing how his breathing deepens. “Curious of what? Are you sure you’re not just projecting, Joong?”

The way you say his name, your lips curving around the one syllable, is like music to his ears. He cannot stop himself, he goes to reach for you, a shameless whine getting caught in his throat.

Like every time before, you’re quicker. Only, this time, instead of pinning his wrist to the wall beside his head, you raise it, holding it above him as you lean over his entire body.

“You boys are very touchy tonight,” you tut, shaking your head as you lean the slightest bit more into him.

“Can you blame us?” He replies, staring up into your eyes. “This is the first time we’ve experienced a temptation like this before.”

The room remains deadly silent, as if the other seven are fully agreeing with the words Hongjoong is speaking to you right now.

“Yes, the heat of the moment can do that to people,” you chuckle, stepping the slightest bit closer to him so that he can feel your body heat against his own.

It’s slight, but you feel him arch forward in your grip, pressing his body flush against your own.

“We both know it’s more than just that,” his tone is low, sultry as he melts into your touch.

The corner of your lip quirks upwards smugly, pushing him flush against the wall.

“Is it really?” You feign innocence, leaning in to press your forehead against his own. Your noses brush. “I guess we’ll never know.”

In the blink of an eye, you’ve stepped away from him, releasing his wrist and letting it fall back to his side.

“Well, that was fun!” You chirp, completely unaware of how Hongjoong’s dark gaze never leaves your figure even for a second as you move to finally return to your own spot. 

He licks his lips, clearing his throat lightly. Taking a step back towards the seating area, he blinks, refocussing his vision. The sound of laughter reaches his ears, and you all continue on as if nothing happened.

Yet, how can they just act like nothing happened when you’ve fulfilled desires within them that they didn’t even know that they had? This has certainly made them all change the way they view things, especially the way they see you.

All that they do know, is that now, they want you. In ways more than just a friend should.

[sunnynwanda]

Done

Part 2

Hero takes several steps back to gain momentum before throwing themselves down from the rooftop and into the back alley.

“You know what?” Villain comes to an abrupt halt, not really waiting for an answer. Out of everything they could have said at that moment - the words that followed were least expected. “I’m done.”

They remain still for several seconds, staring at each other in silence that is becoming increasingly deafening. “Come again?” Hero is flabbergasted as they take a step forward, half-expecting a wordplay or trick to be thrown their way.

“I’m done.” Villain repeats. Hero is not dense, okay? But they are going to need some elaborating on that one.  

“With what exactly?” They question, wary of whatever Villain has planned. Their peripheral vision scans their surroundings but fails to notice anything suspicious.

“With this,” Villain points between them, nodding their head for further confirmation. The explanation that follows leaves much to be desired. “With fighting. This city. Everything.”  

“Fucking pardon?” Hero did not want to sound so affected. Their pitch jumped much higher than they had anticipated. Villain seems oblivious to this, and Hero is thankful for that. “We’re in the middle of a battle.”

“Yeah, so?” They ask, weariness colouring their delicate features.

Hero takes another step towards their opponent, their decision to be careful long forgotten. They loathe the way their voice scratches their throat. “You can’t just walk out on me.”

“Watch me,” a forced smirk is all Villain can muster for their nemesis before their expression sets back into stolid apathy. They drop their weapon and leap the fence, deserting their weekly battle. Hero feels equal parts confused and abandoned. What on Earth was that?

“Hey, wait!” They catch up to Villain on a suburban rooftop when the sun is setting, painting the sky into a rainbow of colours. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” they don’t stop even when Hero reaches them, instead quickening their steps. “I’m just done.”

“But how can you...” they reach for Villain’s shoulder, only for them to whirl around, impatient to get away and tired of communicating with their foe.  

“Listen, I’m tired, okay?” They exclaim, catching Hero off guard with the emotional outburst. Still, it’s an explanation. If that’s the way to get it, Hero doesn’t mind. “We’re doing the same old thing over and over again, and it’s gone stale.”

Hero nods, prompting them to keep going. Villain runs a palm over their face, brushing a strand of hair back before continuing. “I feel no rush for our battles anymore. It’s not fun; there are no stakes.” They sigh, deflating back into the lethargic state of indifference. “We both know I’m not going to ruin the city for real, and you won't end me.”

“Are you serious right now?” Hero is puzzled, to say the least. Is this idiot gone completely bonkers? “How is that an issue?”

“There’s no thrill anymore!” Villain screams out in exasperation. Their hands fly up as they attempt to convey what they feel. Or rather, what they don’t feel. “No adrenaline! Do you not understand?”

“I think I’m starting to.” Hero is silent for several moments, allowing their words to sink in. “And I’m offended.” They conclude, much to Villain’s surprise.

“Excuse me?” Villain asks, amusement evident in their features. Well, that’s something. We can work with that.

“I thought this was supposed to be the best time of your week,” Hero reminds and a part of Villain feels guilty for letting them down.  

“And it was,” they agree, before shaking their head, “but it’s not doing it for me anymore.”

Hero’s lips purse. “So what are you gonna do? Find a different city and...” They trail off without finishing the thought.

“And what?” Villain inquires, but Hero remains silent, their gaze fixed on the sunset. They look upset and lonely, and Villain doesn’t like that.

When they finally speak up, Villain feels like the air got knocked out of their lungs. “And a new hero to bother?”

“Hero, please, that’s not what I meant..” they start, but Hero doesn’t seem to listen. “And no, no other heroes for me. It’s not you, okay? It’s me.” Villain even goes so far as to take their hand in theirs.  

“That’s what they always say,” Hero’s voice is quiet and almost too small for their usual bubbly personality. They look like a puppy left out in the rain, and Villain knows whose fault it is.  

“Damn it, Hero, I am not breaking up with you!” They attempt to reason. Hopefully, enough arguments will put Hero’s heart at rest. “And it’s not like we’re dating, we’re enemies.”

Except, Hero’s eyes glint dangerously the moment they finish their thought. They release their hand from Villain’s and take a step forward. Villain backs away, not quite able to decipher the eerie vibe that’s taken hold of their nemesis. “What?”

“So you miss the thrill?” Hero looks intimidating in the evening shadows; their eyes are dark as they bore into Villain’s.

“Y-yes,” they squeak out, taking another step back. “Why are you...”

Hero interrupts, ignoring the question they were trying to pose. “And if we add a different type of thrill?”

“What are you implying, and why am I sensing something dangerous?” Instead of taking one more step back, Villain stops, determining to face whatever Hero is about to throw their way. They might have been bored but never shied away from a fight. They are not a coward.

“Oh, cause it is,” Hero confirms, an ominous grin stretching their lips. They take one final step forward and press Villain up against the wall behind their back. Villain is too stunned to speak, so they glare at Hero in shock.

“I think there are ways I can give you an adrenaline rush...” Hero claims, pushing Villain’s chin up with a finger before wrapping their fingers around their neck and finishing the thought. “Other than fighting.”

Their fingers slide behind Villain’s neck, tilting their head back for better access as they kiss their way down from Villain’s chin. They bite the sensitive skin right below Villain’s ear, then lick it, earning a soft gasp from their nemesis.

“Does this seem boring to you too?” Hero asks, trailing kisses along their jawline, then back to their neck, leaving a bite on the opposite side of the first before sucking the reddened skin.

“N-no... fuck, Hero, do that again,” Villain is fumbling with their words, unable to process the situation yet.

“As you wish.” Hero’s smile is all teeth, but they don’t oblige yet, pressing themselves flush against Villain’s body. Their breathing pattern is wild, heart hammering inside their chest. They can feel Villain’s pulse under their lips, which isn't helping their case.

“I think we should... ah, shit... should move this somewhere more private,” Villain is positively surprised their brain is still functioning, let alone coming up with such bright ideas.

Hero chuckles, smiling with a teasing glint in their eyes. “Weren’t you the one asking for stakes? For fun? Risk?”

Villain looks scandalized. “Not that much!”

Hero laughs out loud, throwing their head back. They drag their lips over Villain’s jaw to their lips, covering them in an impatient kiss. Their fingertips ghost over Villain’s inner thigh, teasing a panic in their eyes before they plant another kiss on their lips and step back, leaving Villain breathless and exhilarated for what’s next.

“Follow me.”

Part 2

Masterlist

[kuni-is-daddy]

Hear me out- fluffy comfort sex with scara bc y/n's severe daddy issues are acting up and it gets rougher... idk ive just been fantasizing about this 🤭

"For me~"

Tw: daddy issues, Signals of depression.

Scaramouche x GN reader PUREE comfort! :)

1.3K Words

scara masterlistt wanderer comfort

Fluff+smut

MINORS DNI---

Please make sure your taking care of yourself! I might not know you but your a beautiful person inside out who deserves the best and an amazing life no matter your age. Either young or old, things will get better. Have faith in yourself ❤️ I hope scara helps you feel better here💜

Art credit!

Even though scaramouche has a interesting personality. I feel like he truly can relate to MANY people regarding their problems and that's why he's one of my, if not favorite genshin character.

He's on break from his most recent mission in inazuma and treats you out and catch up as another date. He brings you a couple of gifts and some dango he kept cold just for you. "I thought you weren't a fan of dango scara?" "I'm not but.. figured I might as well bring something sweet for you besides myself" you giggled but that soon turned into a sad expression while you played with the box of dango he handed to you. "What's wrong y/n?"

Unfortunately, hearing about what's going on with your father was the last thing he wished to hear. Your his everything and you getting treated or viewed as nothing is something that makes his skin boil.

"tsk, how about I teach that old man a lesson? Humans are all the same. Taking it out on others because they can't handle the fucking truth or their own shit life. Where is he?" Scaramouche stood up from the table and looked at his surroundings.

"S-scara baby please it's fine its fine.." he sits back down. "Being with you already makes my day a blessing." You cup his cheek and he sinks into your warm touch. Looking at your beautiful eyes. He sighs, "you don't deserve this y/n. And..I'm not going to be here all the time for you. Fuck...this is already pissing me off"

"I don't even fucking have a father, but if I did I sure as hell wouldn't let myself get pushed around like this." You frowned. "Hey. Look at me. Your not a push over okay? I-im just saying this isn't right. Your beautiful and deserve the world y/n. I'd give you all of teyvat in a heartbeat" which you assumed he could after seeing the 'Shouki no kami' he and 'the doctor' have been working on. "Is he always home and like this?" "Yeah.. it's just like this when I'm around... So I'd just find something to do to try and take my mind off if it but..it still hurts." He held your hand. "Its going to hurt my love, it hurt when my mom abandoned me as well. Leaving me alone, but you have to find hope. Be it something small or anything. The fatui was.. a revenge thing you can say but. I found hope within you to be different..even if I am still in it. For now." You blushed "wow kuni~ I never knew you could be so nice." And there went his ego, "I just tell it like it is. And like I said, you are beautiful my love. And you certainly are worth it. Every hour, every second and every breath I take by your side."

It grew silent for a couple of minutes. Scara got up and paced back and forth thinking of a way to help you, to make you understand he loves you. He knew that deep in your thoughts we're tragedy and pain, that you we're alone. And he didn't want you to feel how he felt when his life crumbled due to the stoned face of a god.

He wanted to hurt that man, make him regret it. But he knew that wasn't the right way. Sometimes violence isn't always the answer and he learned that from you. You we're the yin to his yang, the beat in his heart. He loved you more than anything and you guided him into the 'happy' man he is today more then anyone could ever hope to become.

He didn't take you home, rather to his own home. It was dark, black painted walls and only 1 or 2 pictures he took with his 'buddy, Childe' and the rest we're all pictures of you. Even in his room he had taped up letters you'd write to him during his abroad trips. "Look. Come here." He was a little stern but you can tell it was because he was angry at how you we're being treated. "You see all of this here? I read these everyday. When I wake up, to be reminded that I'll always have you y/n." He held your hands and sat on the bed while taking his hat off. "I want you too feel the same way, even with that piece of shi- 'annoying parent' around. You don't have to read my letters my love, but please. Stay strong. For me. And for the future we will have together, side by side. Always."

SMUT🤪

Scaramouche laid you onto the bed and let out a groan "god look at this beautiful body of yours. How dare you look at yourself like this.. your fucking beautiful" he rubbed his hands along your body and took licks around your neck "I'm gonna treat you well t'night baby. And tomorrow I'm going to ask that brat Childe to take the rest of my missions for a bit(months) love." "B-but scara then your going to be so busy after-" he kissed you to keep you quiet. "Mmm mmm.. don't worry about that, trust me you'd be surprised to see the things he'd do after I put on a show for him(scara means killing a buncha people. Childe loves that shit😩)

Scara moved down to your private part, licking and kissing it "Scara~ stopp..your tongue~"

"Want me to stop baby? I know you like it." "N-no" you said while rubbing through his hair "you feel so good~" he smirked. "Good you like it. How about my fingers, you want that to?" "Y-yes daddy..wanna feel your fingers." Scara licked at his fingers and put two inside. "Mmm your so tight around my fingers baby..." He took his other hand and held your leg up while biting at your thighs. "Scara~ please~ ah...hah...." biting and sucking on your thighs until you got a hicky "Yes? What does love want." "I- I want you inside." He stopped biting at you and laughed. "Mmm and here I thought you wanted me to be gentle. And cherish your body." "I-i do but... I want more of you scara" "then take what you want of me, my love"

"Oh fuck baby..L-look at you, bouncing on daddys cock so well." Scara's praises made your body heat up. You two interlocked hands as you chased your orgasm "Yes y/n..Fuck yes. i love you. I love you so fucking much, Please cum for me. Let me hear those beautiful moans." "S-SCARA~ OH sHIT~" You cum oozed onto scara as he kept praising you, "Mm..fuck baby you did so well..So fucking well.. lay down f' me." Your body grew weak as your high started to fade and he guided you to the otherside of the bed. Scara licked off some of your cum while cleaning you up. "Shit.. and you taste good too baby." You threw a pillow at him "You pervet-"

You awoke to your boyfriend soundly asleep next to you. Already in his fatui attire. "S-scara...Your still here" He ruffly opened his eyes. "Of course id be here dumass.. But i do have to leave in a bit.. Otherwise how else am i gonna get that ginger idiot to take my work for a bit." You we're shocked that he still committed to what he said earlier, You thought he was just speaking to boost you up but scara was serious about it. You gave him a hug. "Im so glad to have you in my life Kuni. I love you."

"My god, my mother, humans. They've all abandoned me. Because I was 'weak. Not good enough.' But now I understand my love, I don't need them. Or what they say... All I need and want is you. I want to wake up to your beautiful smile. I want while I'm away for you to be happy. So please keep trying, not for those that dismiss you like they've done me. But for yourself and me. I believe in and love you. Just the way you are and the person you strive to be. I love your kindness, the way you smiled even when you we're sad on our dango date and wake up everyday even if it's the bare minimum. Dont hide those emotions anymore my love, When your hurt, Fall in my arms. Please stay, don't listen to that old bastard or the pain in your heart. I love you and I will stay with you until the bitter end to pick you up. Just like you always did for me"

Ps: I will be home Early, Tomorow evening most likely. Apparently, childe sees me as his 'best friend' and is willing to help regardless. What a looser. Anyway, I have to prep up for the fatui's grand dinner. I hope you ate today my love, Farewell until then.

-Kunikuzushi.

[heerinnie]

jay, 64! <3

𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐈𝐭?

𝐏.𝐉𝐒

SYNOPSIS: Park Jongseong a.k.a. Jay was a bad fortune, always in some kind of inconvenience having to fight to get away from the issues surrounding him until you came along and made him a better man.

WARNINGS: Angst/Fluff - sad ending ig, mentions of domestic ab/se, abandonment, jay x fem!reader (anything else let me know)

(Not proofread)

WC: 810

^^SFW UNDERCUT

Never intended, never meant. Your involvement with Park Jongseong was never supposed to happen and yet it did and you couldn’t be happier.

He was a bad fortune, always in some kind of inconvenience having to fight to get away from the issues surrounding him and the people causing them. Not you though, you always stayed even if your mere presence could kill him he’d take the risk and become a martyr for his affection.

-

Abandoned and alone, you and jay strolled around the empty night streets lightened by flickering street lamps that normally should have you heaving out of fear yet you felt safe. Safer than being home, safer than being at school or anywhere where Jay wouldn’t be found. It’s not that you were being hurt at home or mistreated at school, it was far from that at least you thought so yourself- it was just that measly and soul sucking feeling that came with the distance Jay would unwillingly have to give you during the day time since he wouldn’t want you ti get associated with a person like him. A ‘lawless and negligent delinquent’.

But he was far from that, he wasn’t some wrongdoer that taunted the streets of your town. He was not an irresponsible offender that everyone claimed him to be, nobody helped him and nobody listened to his so called sob stories that were genuine cries and pleads for help and action so he can grow up to a good status. He got discarded like an empty candy wrapper with remains of sweetness that disintegrated and decayed when the rain came. He got moulded into who he was today, cold and bitter to the world that failed to save him.

“Are you cold?” Were the first words that left jays mouth after strolling in silence for a while,

“No yeah, I’m good”

“I feel like there’s something on your mind, wanna talk about it?”, his sudden movements came to a halt as his soft eyes examined your expression.

No matter how many times you told Jay you’re alright he always knew that you weren’t. It was strange, it almost felt like his heart strings were being pulled to your direction engulfing you into a warm and secured hug you both quietly needed. Best friends are like this right? They feel what the other feels? Think the same thoughts? They get goosebumps whenever they make physical contact? That’s all platonic, it had to be.

For Jay it wasn’t, he knew from the first time he saw you, you’d be the one for him and then when you made an effort to understand him even with his reputation he wanted nothing else than to wife you up right then and there.

-

Jay had his moments. Metaphorically speaking he’d be a bungee jumpers worst nightmare, some thrill seeker would want to jump at the opportunity they found only to find out they just accepted a near-death experience. If the cord snaps you feel immense fear about your fate, the only difference between jay and a broken restraint is that you’d be able to survive one. Interpret that however you want, your own guess was no better than theirs.

For all the cynical moments with jay there were always more beautiful moments at bay, like when you first saw him cry. Ideally seeing someone cry shouldn’t be a comforting memory, however with the context of jay feeling so secure in your presence he finally let himself go and it felt sickly bittersweet to see someone so damaged feel so vulnerable for the first time in forever.

-

It’s not everyday you’d stumble upon lilies of the valley but every time you did you couldn’t help but recall jay’s words.

“If I ever leave, remember me by these” he said passing you the delicate flowers, obviously taken a back by his words you couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by that. Is he leaving? Is he in trouble? Is he in that headspace again? Your thoughts raced to the worst possible scenarios before Jay took your hand into his and placing the bell-shaped white flowers behind your ear.

“Don’t worry darling” his voice cooed. “I didn’t know how to tell you and I still don’t know how I’m supposed to word it out-” the nerves started to settle in, “but I decided that it’d be better for me to move”.

It felt like a bullet just ripped you through your heart. A pain that could take down the strongest army. Now all that’s left here were the memories you made with Jay and all the firsts you had with him.

-

You’ll never regret meeting Jongseong, you’ll never forget meeting jongseong and you’ll never forget loving jongseong- even if it’s been years since you’ve held him in your arms, even if you never got the chance to let him know.

A/N: And so I’m back, I rested at home for a bit. I’m so glad I finally finished this and half of the other requests I got! Thank you to everyone who reached out after I posted about my tiny break. Hopefully I’ll start posting regularly again and I’ll be able to share more of my work <3

[cacoetheswriting]

you’re losing me

pairing: eddie munson x gn!reader word count: 1.1k

summary: an exchange of forgotten items after the end of long-term a relationship.

content warnings: angsty angst, no happy ending (sorry), heartbreak, hurt / no comfort, mentions of marriage, eddie has commitment issues, minor use of pet names, adult language — also, this is very much unedited as i wrote it in one sitting, so excuse any & all mistakes, thank you! <3

“Here you go,” you say, arms stretching outward to hand Eddie a cardboard box. “This is everything you left behind at our— ehm,” you clear your throat, “at my place.”

Eddie hesitates for a moment, glancing between his packed belongings in your grasp and the sad expression on your face. You look tired, that much is clear. Sleep-less and puffy-eyed from all the tears you’ve undoubtedly shed as a result of his actions — or lack thereof.

The tremble of your lip alone causes his insides to twist. He’s never meant to bring you any pain, all though he knew that to be inevitable.

After all, a five year relationship coming to an end in one night is bound to bring pain.

“I don’t understand,” Eddie said, to which you replied, “I know you don’t.”

“I thought we were good,” it sounded like a plea.

You wiped the tears with the sleeve of your jumper. “How can we be good when you prioritise everything over me?” You questioned, voice breaking. “How can we be good, Eddie, when I give you all my best me’s, my endless empathy, and all you do is hurt my feelings?”

The brunette reached for you, but you instantly pulled back.

“You don’t want to get married.”

Eventually, Eddie drops the arm that was pressing against the doorframe above his head, and reaches for the box. His ring-clad fingers brush against yours gently as he holds onto the cardboard, an action that makes the air in your throat hitch momentarily.

“I’m sorry it took so long,” you mumble, hiding your hands in the pockets of your jacket. The imprints of his brief touch lingering on your skin.

A small, nervous smile circles your lips.

Eddie returns the expression.

“It’s okay,” he reassures quietly. “Thank you for even bringing this over, you didn’t have to do that. You could've called and I would’ve swung by our— uhm, by your place after my shift.”

“I just thought this would be easier,” you lie, the real reason being a lot more complicated. You really wanted to see him. To say you missed him, missed the life you two had, would be an understatement of the century.

Eddie nods, placing the cardboard box on the floor then kicking it slightly to the side — out of sight, out of mind. He glances around the trailer, hands now on his hips, before settling his attention back on you, not really sure what to say next.

He used to be able to talk to you for hours on end, about everything and nothing all at once. Town gossip, respective hobbies, work days, memories shared, his life before you, your life before him, the life you were planning to have together. No topic left unscathed. And now, whenever you bumped into one another, as rare as these meetings have been, he bites his tongue, afraid to say the wrong thing.

You do the same and it’s heartbreaking, really.

Especially because you still loved him.

— Deeply.

“I better get going,” you say meekly, breaking the silence that has surrounded the two of you. “Have a good day at work.”

“Yeah. Thanks, sweetheart.”

Jesus, fuck. Eddie bites his tongue, albeit a little too late, and instantly hates himself for letting the moniker slip. But you don’t react.

Instead, with one last longing look, you turn on your heel and begin your short journey down the concrete steps and dusty driveway. You can feel your ex-boyfriends eyes burn into the back of your frame, silently observing as you unlock the car and slide in behind the wheel, but you do your best to ignore his gaze.

Just like you ignored the pet name.

“Sweetheart—”

“And honestly, I wouldn’t marry me either,” it was a low blow, but the words escaped your lips before you got a chance to think about the repercussions.

Eddie said your name then with an over-exaggerated eye roll. However, that’s all he did. There was no rebuttal to your sentence. He didn’t argue or tell you how wrong you were. He didn’t offer any willingness to fight for you, fight for what was left of your relationship.

There was an ache in your chest. Slow, excruciating. The invisible walls were closing in around you, cutting off the oxygen, and as a result, your limbs seemed too heavy for your body. Like they no longer belonged to you. Almost alien.

It was hard to breathe. And all you wanted to do was scream for him to wake the fuck up because he was losing you. You wanted to scream and plead with him to do something, anything at all. Risk something, even though he’s already risked it all by not reacting the way you selfishly hoped he would.

Yet, Eddie simply stared at you.

And just like that, you knew it was over. Completely and utterly, over.

One hand on the wheel, you exhale. Eddie used to say he’d choose you no matter what, and now, not only did you know that wasn’t entirely true — because he let you walk away too easily, without a fight — your lives were also going to change and you were going to be heading in completely different directions, metaphorically as well as physically.

Key in the ignition, you’re about to start the engine when the sound of your name shifts your attention back to the person you’re trying to leave behind. For good, this time.

His tone, and the way your name falls off his tongue so effortlessly, as it’s done so many times before, is enough to make your heart skip a beat, and against your better judgement, you turn to face him again, rolling down your car window so he can lean his forearm against the glass.

Dipping his head to your eye level, Eddie clears his throat.

“I was wondering,” he begins, “The guys and I are playing in Indianapolis on Friday night, maybe you’d like to come?” He asks, then quickly adds, “If you’re free, that is.”

Your heart soars at his invite. You think to immediately say yes, because you’d go to the ends of the Earth if he’d only ask. But reality quickly clocks you in the head when you remember where you are, and why you’re here in the first place.

“You don’t want to get married, and I don’t want to settle any longer.”

Despite how much you still loved him, agreeing to go see him play would only bring more sorrow. It would tangle the two of you in an endless loop of sacrifices and that wasn’t fair.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Eddie.”

He tries to hide the disappointment by plastering a kind smile on his face, but you notice it regardless. Which of course you do. You’ve loved this man for five years before it all went to shit.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”

There’s the moniker again. However, this time, he means to use it.

And when he taps his fingers on the roof of your car, retreating backwards, you smile at him one last time and say your goodbye, “I’ll see you around, Eddie.”.

as always, thank you so so much for reading <3

main masterlist

[blakeswritingimagines]

Poly dating Rhaenyra and Alicent Would Include:

Falling in love with your childhood best friend, the most beautiful woman in the Realm. Or maybe like winning a tourney. A true joust for the heart.

You all love each other with every piece of your being. You each are the fire that burns inside you and the water that quenches your thirst. The air you breathe and the light that guides you when the night is dark. They feel like are nothing without you apart of the relationship. You make them feel alive and loved, which is exactly what every living creature deserves. You are their soul mate and you are the only one they want to spend their life with besides each other.

Dates are often going out to different places and doing various activities together. You spend time getting to know each other better and just enjoying each other's company. You all have gone to dinners, tourneys, plays, visiting new places, and many other places together. You like to spend time together and make memories that will last a lifetime. Rhaenyra also likes to be spontaneous and have fun with each other. It is very important to them that you spend quality time together, and they put a lot of care and attention into making each other feel loved and appreciated.

Unfortunately, there can be some negativity and discrimination from people, who may not understand or be accepting of your unconventional relationship. Rhaenyra and Alicent both use their power to do so much to try and make it stop and prove that your relationship is not harming anyone. You all also try to ignore any negativity directed towards you, and instead focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. You are each other's strength and you support each other. Despite any negativity, there are many people who are accepting of your unconventional relationship and who recognize the beauty and empowerment that it brings.

It is a very interesting time, to say the least. Rhaenyra is often a bit jealous and protective of Alicent, while you are often more concerned for her well-being. Overall being loved and taken care of is very nice. It can be very difficult to navigate at times, however, given all the complicated relationships that you are involved in. They would say that it is still very rewarding and beautiful. She feels lucky to have both of you in her life.

Rhaenyra thinks you’re both perfect for her. Alicent is a bit high-strung and tense at times. You are a little more relaxed. But, you’re both sweet people who mean well. You’re both also very pretty. And you’re both very smart and talented. She's happy to be with both of you, and she wants both of you to be happy.

Rhaenyra tends to be more jealous than you. She fears losing you or Alicent or being replaced. She is always very protective of you both and she desires both of yours full attention. She can struggle with sharing you both and often feels competitive when there is any interaction between you two. She is aware of her jealousy and tries to manage it, but you all know it is still an issue for her. Alicent has shown very little jealousy in comparison and even encourages you to spend time together. Rhaenyra understands that you love them both and that you are capable of balancing your time with them.

Being together is amazing. It is wonderful to be surrounded by two people who you love and who also love each other. It is an intense and powerful feeling that none of you can express in words alone. It is a beautiful thing to witness and experience together. Spending time with them and feeling loved and safe is something that you all cherish and greatly appreciate. You each bring your own unique qualities to the relationship, which makes it even more special. They are so thankful to have you in their life and they feel very lucky to be able to share this beautiful journey with you.

Alicent's favorite forms of affection are when Rhaenyra gives her hugs and kisses or tells her how much she loves her. It's warm and comforting to receive her affection and it makes Alicent feel safe and loved. You usually show affection through small, intimate gestures like making her favorite foods or giving her little gifts especially if it's handmade. It's simple and thoughtful, and it makes her feel valued and cared for. Both of you are wonderful at showing affection in different ways.

Rhaenyra's favorite forms of affection are when you hug her tightly, like as if she's the most precious thing in the world. That warms her heart. Alicent's tender touch makes her heart flutter. It's like magic.

They are both loyal, loving, sweetly spoken yet prone to anger and jealousy. They will never betray any promises they make to reach other or you their beloved. They both expect loyalty above all. They do not tolerate cheating. Alicent is a more private person - no public displays of affection for her, while Rhaenyra makes it quite clear how she feels about you both to anybody passing attention and they both like the classics especially after a long day- a quiet dinner for three, a walk in the garden. A shared one fault is that they expect perfection, and when they don't get their way, they make their displeasure known.

Being their partner can be assured that they will dedicate their time and attention to you wholeheartedly and give everything they have to the relationship. They will put you first and make you feel special in every way. They are both loving and affectionate with each other, and you they even show their appreciation for you in many small ways that add up to make you feel seen and valued.

Rhaenyra's children were delighted. It has been many years since she has been happy, and it is difficult to explain how much her children loved when their mother was finally able to smile again. They were pleased with her choice of suitors even if it was Alicent and you as long as she was happy.

Alicent's children, at first they were shocked and horrified to see her with another woman and you at the same time, especially after her marriage with Viserys. But in time, they accepted that her feelings for Princess Rhaenyra and you were strong and real, and they began to understand. She was always honest with them, and they came to accept and embrace it.

You all have an excellent relationship, you go on rides together, you read books that you are all passionate about or even ramble on about what your reading, you have deep conversations together, they both share the same views about family and duty especially since you are around to play mediator, you always comfort each other in times of despair. However, there have been a few disagreements here and there, but they feel like your relationship is strong enough to get through anything, especially since they are both extremely determined people and they will never give up on each other especially for you if it makes you happy.

Every problem they have ever had with each other no longer matters at least the moment they agreed to date you together. You are their love, their passion, their friend, their everything. You complete them, and they complete you. They are both devoted and loyal to each other, and you, your souls are intertwined in the most sacred manner. In short, you are everything that is good and beautiful in the world. You are one heartbeat, one mind, one soul. And you’ll be together forever, no matter how many years it may take. They have never felt such love for any other and they know that nothing could ever take you away from them.

It is loving. You support each other. You talk and listen to each other. You understand one another. You have a connection that none of you can explain. You are there to comfort each other. It is a wonderful thing that you have found in each other.

A relationship with them is genuinely exhilarating. You must go through the entire series of emotions in seconds. There is a lot of passion. They are alike in many things, and that makes it much more intense. You can't be bored around them, and that keeps things exciting. Love can make you feel invincible, like you've been born again and feel more alive than ever before. Sometimes, it does get too much, and you just want to take a break from the intensity, but it's never boring, and they keep you on your toes.

Alicent is more sub/bottom, while Rhaenyra is more dom/top unless you like being in charge then Alicent is a pillow princess, and Rhaenyra is a brat.

They both enjoy marking each other, and you, while Alicent has her's more hidden, Rhaenyra had them on show as much as she can, and they make sure you're completely covered.

They both enjoy spoiling you and making you feel good, and each take turns going down on you but will punish you if you try to pull away.

Rhaenyra enjoys playing around more in public, where others could potentially see but most definitely hear, and Alicent enjoys being alone with you both in the quiet private room you all share.

[dyaly21]

Long-winded thoughts no one asked me for about Red, White, and Royal Blue (movie)

First things first, would I have preferred it was a series? Absolutely. More time available, more characters allowed maybe, which could've run possibly closer to book. Do we know if that was ever an option though? I haven't seen or heard anything to indicate this had anything other than a movie available to be made. That being said, I really enjoyed the movie and can separate the book and movie without finding issue with anything not included. I mean, my favorite book is World War Z and if you want a movie that is absolutely nothing like the book...yeah.

I can't explain it but Henry's dog is absolutely a 'David'. He doesn't look like a Bowie at all. I don't know why but his name inexplicably fits.

Okay moving on. I like that the characters are older. They've lived a little more life and are settling in to who they are by the time their worlds' are shaken up. They're (still young but) no longer younger men who's brains aren't yet fully formed. Forever feels big when you're young but it's almost like it holds more consequences as you get older. Which - and I might be flamed for this - made the absence of Luna easier. At 22 Alex still had people he was looking up to, hoping to follow in the footsteps of. 27/28 year old Alex is creating his own path, being his own role model to follow. He knows he wants to be someone his dad didn't see growing up. He knows the weight that carries.

Henry is reserved and poised, except when it comes to Bea and Alex. His sister is understandable; she's his closest ally in a world he isn't comfortable living in. But Alex is the only one to get under his skin and make him less poised. Arguing with Alex should be beneath him, particularly on his brother's wedding day, but there's something about that antagonism that draws him in - crush notwithstanding. Maybe it's the thrill of talking to his crush regardless of words said, or maybe it's the freedom he feels in being less than proper around Alex because Alex doesn't white glove treat him in any situation.

The Waterloo closet. Henry was forced into the public eye - I do like how movie changed some lines here and made the death more recent for that interaction. It makes Henry look more sympathetic than the book (to me). And it allows Alex the chance to find some emotional even footing with Henry. He wasn't a douche cause he's a douche. He was a douche because he was grieving and wasn't allowed to navigate it properly. They were both struggling that night and neither knew it. The closet ironically let the air clear.

Henry hating New Years and basically (in a way) repeating Alex's death phrase. They think so similarly they both decided if I'm dead I can't be forced to do something lol. But Henry still goes and still has a good time until he's confronted with why he hates it. Seeing someone you like surrounded by others, engaged with others, when you can't be your true self with them must've been a gut punch. Nicholas Galitzine has the best facial expressions. And I love the way Taylor played the happy vibe until he noticed Henry not happy any longer.

I don't think the girl draping herself all over Alex during the party had slept with him yet. I think she was hoping to but he was not interested, no matter how hard she tried to get him to be. She felt too "look at me" and not "remember when we" to feel like they were past bed buddies.

The tree scene I like better movie wise. Alex staying back, letting Henry have his space to think and be but still engaging. He felt a little like a smartass in the book but here he explains he was who Henry describes, anonymous until he wasn't, but he seems to understand Henry wants to talk so he asks Henry who he'd be. There's a hint of a smile on Alex's face when Henry describes writing and Paris, like he appreciates Henry's hopes. Taylor plays this scene so softly (if still a little sloshed). It's only when Henry mentions dating that the banter part of Alex's brain turns back on and he isn't wrong; it isn't hard for a prince to get a date. But that doesn't mean they're dating who they want, no matter who they like.

I could gush about the kiss but that'd be paragraphs. So I'll just say I've seen some question why Alex doesn't give chase when Henry apologizes and walks away. 1st I think he's stunned. Maybe his brain hasn't figured out how to tell his legs to follow. It was a good kiss, he's shocked. 2nd, I think maybe the sober part knows if he did follow it would not be beneficial. Henry might run, be spooked off, and...vanish (sigh).

Side note: anyone else notice the steam coming off Alex (Taylor) after Henry walked away? Lol boy was feeling warm and I doubt it was the alcohol.

Real quick, the texts/calls. I love them playing out on screen and the progression from words only to them being spoken. It shows growing comfort until the bed scene where they feel together, if separated by an ocean. Also, OUCH to Henry reading the messages and not responding.

I liked how though Alex admits to interactions with other guys to Nora he doesn't label himself. He isn't 'out' to her. Sure she can deduce but he doesn't say it outright. His whole purpose isn't whether he's bi but why Henry lol. No there's no Liam but he is there in the peripheral of an experience Alex had in high school. And his time drunk in the hot tub with Miguel is just another experience. Alex it seems has never questioned why he's attracted to who he's attracted to until it became Henry because that doesn't compute.

I do believe Alex reciprocated at least something in his bedroom after the PM's dinner. When the Washington Monument (no pun intended) pops up, the moon travels across the sky to indicate significant time passing and once we rejoined A&H, Alex was shoeless and adjusting his belt so they had to have done more than just a bj from Henry. I seriously doubt they could have controlled themselves if Alex was undressed all that time or had changed into something else. But I think Henry looks so put together because he's in Alex's room, in the White House as a guest, and he has to leave the room risking potentially being seen, so he can't look rumpled or ravaged if he is. He has to look like he's proper and dignified and sexed out would not do.

Real quick on Miguel: I don't think he was ever jealous, not completely at least. I think he was calculating and opportunistic. Initially hooking up with the son of a presidential candidate is a big deal, get them drunk and maybe they'll talk/give you a scoop. It also shows he's ethically ambiguous. It presents a conflict of interest to hook up with a candidate's son and then continue to cover that candidate/elected person. Ethically, what is his bias like, you know? Did he cover the Claremont administration first term fairly or did he skew things just in case he ran into Alex again? Sure he probably enjoyed himself and hoped for a repeat but I think he let ambition run over common sense and decency. He sees something (A&H meeting at the bar entrance), and it's after he's just been harshly (to him) rejected by Alex so he probably let that sting of rejection propel his opportunistic side and now he gets a big scoop. It will propel his career and the carnage left in the wake of that is secondary. As a queer man I'm sure he weighed the outing and decided his advancement was worth more than the harm he was bringing about. Especially since he never should have continued covering the president or her family. I'd like to think he was fired but... I also doubt he did everything on his own. He has connections, he used them, cut a deal with foreign press and got his notoriety. No matter its cost. And also the irony of the actual publication the fictional Miguel works for lambasting the movie because they got in their rejection feels makes me laugh a little. Journalists who you think have integrity can disappoint you. Horribly. That's just as realistic as what happens in the book. Their review felt more like why'd you pick on me than what the actual movie was intended to be viewed as. Just my opinion though.

A quick sidebar on TZP: Nick was amazing. He had a meaty (get out of the gutter) role to play with a vast array of heavy emotions displayed. Alex, however is the more laid back, possibly happier character because he has a good support system at home, even if I felt (movie wise) he was isolated in his own way, with no real relationships outside those working around him. He causes chaos but he isn't cruel about it, he's just occasionally dumb lol. He drives Zahra crazy but she genuinely cares for him. I think Amy would be interested in seeing Alex tased (all in good fun) but he's like her baby brother and she will destroy you if you hurt him. But TZP feels so Alex coded, and he does funny really well which isn't easy for everyone. After learning of the part and before he auditioned Taylor made sure to read the book to grasp the character, even, as he says, crying over it. He annotated his script, essentially making lists to keep track of feelings and emotions needed to convey Alex's growth and journey since they film out of order. His script was his bible so he got his character just right. Nick gets a lot of (justified) credit for his performance but I really feel like Taylor put in so much effort to do Alex justice and deserves his flowers for that.

It's so interesting to watch the way both men change. Henry is reserved and "grey" in appearance and mood. I look at the character and he's a muted blue to me (out of curiosity, I wondered how much of "Mad King" George was passed into Henry's lineage seeing as book Henry sees a therapist/takes meds and movie Henry is very often on the downward). But when Alex enters his life other colors full of vibrancy do too. The muted shades lighten and he grows stronger, more confident. He learns he doesn't have to be confined to propriety and status quo keeping him caged. Alex on the other hand is buoyant red and orange, he's a bit of a chaos gremlin, like he has so much energy and passion he needs to share but with limited outlets (like, just please look at his memo). Henry gives him an outlet, both passionately and as a safe space to express his hopes. He also soothes the chaos Alex carries. Once their relationship gets going, Alex feels softer, quieter. Like he settled into his skin finally, having it fit the way it was always meant to but didn't have the right measurements yet. He's still passionate, he still has a raging fire burning within but it's like everything clicked into place and he finally understands how to wield it. Alex helped Henry finally believe he was brave all along, and Henry helped show Alex he was capable, especially when he kept being held back.

I'm so curious what's going through Henry's mind when Alex tells Zahra they've been seeing each other since New Years. Because it was an impulsive act in the middle of him feeling down on Henry's part but to Alex that's when their relationship started. It didn't even matter he was ghosted. New Years was the beginning to Alex and I'd love to know what Henry's thoughts are on that because of the way he looks at Alex in that scene is one of potential curiosity or maybe even disbelief.

I'll admit I like Uma's Ellen better than the book version. She's involved and attentive to her son's life and unlike in the book, it doesn't feel like she has to set time to be motherly. The scene where she questions Alex about Miguel leaking his Texas strategy, when she tells Alex he's no longer allowed to speak to the press Alex is genuinely hurt. It's all over his face, his mom losing trust in him over this. It's not something that's happened before or often. He's chaos but even after the cake incident, he wasn't perceived as a risk until this moment and it hurts him his mom feels that way. But Alex isn't one to hold a grudge and he still wants his mom to succeed, whether he helps with that or not. And his coming out to her, she's holding him after they've eaten and are talking. In the book, yes there's the funny power point but it's in a conference room setting and more clinical. Taylor is a tactile person, Alex is now too, and the character being held by his mom while they discuss his life is endearing.

The almost "I love you" made me think to how desperately Henry wants to hear it but at the same time it's a swift wake up that the carefully crafted fun time they're supposed to be having isn't actually just for fun. Casual is a word they heard but never learned the definition of. With Alex's bedroom and the "can't have you fall in love with me" bit, Henry didn't see the quick flash of disappointment in Alex's face at being told this had to be casual. He only heard and noticed Alex agreeing with him. Henry liked Alex a long time but it was probably his safest crush because he only saw the superficial version of Alex that was portrayed by people who didn't know him. The playboy, the guy who didn't take life too seriously and who jokes around. Of course that guy wouldn't fall for Henry, it's just a good time. But Alex feels deeply. He's exposed this constantly, but most fiercely when discussing why he wants to be involved in politics. Henry just made himself turn a blind eye so he didn't let his attachment to Alex break him when that played up version of Alex inevitably got bored and moved on. So the almost I love you shatters Henry because it wasn't supposed to happen. The lies he fed himself were exposed and he had to run.

I do think the emotions Alex let free within him amped up his idealism. And probably nerves did too. So once he started talking whatever was in his head slipped out because he knew walking through Austin holding hands was not realistic but his heart yearned for it so his mouth said it. I did wonder what Alex was thinking after Henry swims away. I imagine he believed that maybe while he was there emotionally, Henry wasn't and jumped because he got spooked worried about not feeling love yet. He probably figured Henry needed space and then they'd talk it out because that's what they do but instead Henry ghosted. He admits to Henry he knew he wouldn't hear I love you back but he still wanted to be honest about his own feelings.

The fireside confrontation: Alex storming the castle is a metaphor. Henry's the castle. Honestly, Alex doesn't storm anything in the book either, he just causes enough of a nuisance they let him in to not cause or create a scene. In the movie I imagine it's the same; Henry's told Alex insists on being let in. He was probably outside close to a scene and was let in to avoid that. I think he was fire and determination until he was let in and was left standing alone waiting for Henry because for all his bluster, he's terrified of losing Henry completely. He loves him, his heart is on the line here. It was only after Henry told him he could say his piece and then leave did that fire return.

And Henry isn't wrong but he also isn't right. He did tell Alex who he is and what is and isn't acceptable. Prince Henry belongs to Britain. Protocol. Problem though is he was only ever Henry Fox with Alex. He was his true self and so Alex saw exactly who Henry is. He knows exactly who Henry is. I think Henry accusing Alex of not knowing him was a little bit of projection because after so much time spent with Alex he was struggling to keep up the act and maintain keeping the parts of himself separated. Because Henry let himself be reckless when he knew a prince wasn't supposed to be. But also Henry's wrong about it costing Alex nothing. I'm sure Alex weighed his future if he pursued Henry. Not only does it hold risk to his mom's reelection, he has goals for himself, promises he made to himself that affect the rest of his life, and a relationship with Henry could put that in jeopardy. It has the potential to completely throw off his entire life but his feelings for Henry were weighed to be with that risk.

Also just thinking about it, Henry longs for anonymity. It's the first real thing he discusses with Alex, it's something they discuss after they make love the first time, it's a big deal to Henry. And I do think in some ways he's a little upset at Alex for not necessarily wanting that life. But I think one thing he doesn't think about is if Alex was anonymous, if his mom never ran for president, Henry would've miss out on meeting the love of his life. If Henry was anonymous, same thing. How would their paths have crossed? Maybe fate or some kind of magic, but that doesn't always happen. They had to be who they are to find each other.

I also just really loved the way Alex spoke to Henry through the confrontation. It was romanticism and all those books Henry loves but in real life. It shows Alex was paying attention to who Henry is and what he likes/appreciates. I also feel like Alex weighed their separate futures and saw how he could try to move on with someone else but it would never amount to what he had with Henry. There would always be a void there. And Henry, if he met and married would be forever miserable, locked in a lie just to appease an institution that cares more about propriety than the person. It'd undoubtedly hurt Alex the rest of his life. "Nothing would ever happen to you." Just think how even if Alex didn't pursue a public life he'd still occasionally be talked about. So if he did meet someone and marry them, it'd be publicized, in black and white for Henry to break apart over. And the same for Alex, only knowing it was all a facade to keep up appearances. God, that thought actually hurts to think about.

Heading to the V&A it was interesting to watch the distance between them. Alex hangs back, he steps purposely out of the way when walking through the gate to not touch Henry, and he sniffs a little once on the other side. I wonder if he wondered would Henry get him out there to shut him out. Alex doesn't know what they're doing and he's going on blind faith this won't break his heart any further. It's only just before their dance their steps become in sync again, a reconnect of what was nearly broken. And Alex had Henry step to him, having Henry make the choice to equalize them again because this was the only time they didn't walk side by side. And that fake was amazing. It was nearly as intimate as them making love, only this was full of fear and hope and uncertainty and want all wrapped up into the heavy but chosen burden of history.

I am so glad Alex gives Henry his key. And that Alex wears the ring. It feels so much more meaningful to have them both give a "part of themselves" to the other while they have to be apart. Especially after their peace is violated. They need that anchor to the other, most especially once radio silence commenced. And then the way Henry held it together but slowly started to break as he walked away...ugh heartbreaking. But I just know Alex knew he was struggling because he stopped to watch Henry leave, no doubt to make sure he was able to. Henry can't watch Alex leave but Alex has to watch Henry leave because he needs to make sure he's okay.

"Just hold on until I get there." and "I'll break the sound barrier for you." Alex will let Henry fall apart if he needs to and he will hold him up and be strength for both of them until Henry gains his strength back. And it feels so much like Alex will fight whatever even thinks of hurting Henry. He doesn't think twice, Henry needs him, distance and everything else between him and the man he loves can screw off.

I was thinking about how Alex addresses the press, admits to a relationship with Henry, confirms the rumors, yet the King decided to say it was all lies. I believe he intentionally mentions the misinformation campaign as his way of letting Henry (and Alex) know it doesn't matter what was confirmed during the White House press conference; the crown is going to sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. They're going to pretend it's false even if it has the potential to disrupt relations between the US and UK. Isolating and hiding away Henry was step one in that plan. The king says this in front of Alex, basically daring Henry to go against everything he was brought up to behave like, because of course he'll agree to the denial and having him do it in front of Alex let's Alex (and Henry) know the power of the crown isn't to be trifled with. It's why when asked, Alex looks at Henry, face serious, wondering how Henry'll respond. I've no doubt when the King dressed Alex down and Henry released his hand, Alex thought he might've lost Henry for the briefest of moments until Henry asked why. The problem though is this is the age of instant media, and if citizens of a nation see one side confirm, openly, honestly, but see the other side made to be hidden, they're gong to react. In this case they understood what wasn't being said by the crown and decided to show support for Henry (and Alex by association). The carefully constructed image backfired because the people wanted their prince happy and in love. Not locked away and forgotten until he projects what his position demanded.

And I was also thinking how neither Henry or Alex could contact each other. Radio silence and no way to make sure the other (especially Henry) is okay. What can Alex do if he can't actually reach out? He can make a speech. He can confirm to the world - but speak to Henry specifically ("I hope Henry was watching." he tells Zahra) - that he's resolute. That he isn't ashamed and no one else in their similar positions should be either, because privacy violation doesn't diminish love. Henry did see. It helped. But Alex's presence healed.

Other tidbits: For as chaotic as he can be, Alex being very organized makes so much sense. He probably understands his mind is a mess and he struggles to be stagnant for too long so he makes sure his physical surroundings and his work is orderly. I like how though Alex is a touch driven person, he let's Henry lead in touching him. (Did anyone else notice how it looks like Nick hit a sensitive spot around Taylor's shoulder/chest in the Paris scene before they fall into bed? Lol!) Henry is closeted and though Alex hasn't come out he isn't afraid of being himself. So he doesn't want to take from Henry, instead allowing Henry to take, thus he can touch freely while Alex holds back until Henry is comfortable. Casual relationships don't get discussed with sisters. I wonder if Bea was thinking that while Henry talked about Alex lol. Alex's instant "no" to Zahra: man feels zero hesitation. The way Zahra calls Alex kid: you know he's the baby brother she never asked for and questions why the stork won't take him back lol! The way Oscar and Alex talk about Henry; first at the WH where Oscar asks Alex's problem with Henry, and then when Alex asks if Oscar likes Henry. I just know Alex was thinking back to that conversation hoping his dad still thinks of Henry as a good person. The little kisses Henry gives to Alex... lovely. There are so many little moments that I'm curious if it's just decisions by T&N to do or if any bits were scripted. I'd love commentary and deleted scenes and extras etc.

Honestly, Taylor and Nick were stupendous in this movie. They made me believe they love each other romantically, that they're soulmates. I love that they're such good friends, but it feels like their bond transcends that. Taylor's crying causes Nick to cry, that kind of emotional connection is so exquisite to witness. Though in their humor I probably adore them more. It's like they share a brain cell and the lithe guy is fighting for its life haha! I need to see them -definitely in a sequel- do more things together. Buddy comedy, drama, whatever, just let them do their thing. I hope the studios get their acts together soon because these guys (whole cast&crew) deserved to promote this movie and feel up close love and adoration for it.

If you read all that, you're a champ.

[amethystfairy1]

What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!

✨WRITING PROCESS✨

...

this.

this is my writing process.

OK TO BE REAL THO

Firstly, I don't do outlines.

I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T

What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.

For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!

Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.

This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.

In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out

So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.

As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.

It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?

Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.

Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.

Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.

Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.

Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!

Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.

Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.

And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.

Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!

If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆

My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!

OH ONE MORE THING! 👏

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!

Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!

Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖

[ask-annamary]

Do you make your tuna sandwiches correctly? As in, devoid of those dreadful pieces of celery, properly salted, and with the right mayo-to-tuna ratio?

I have an inkling as to who you are, Anonymouse... but I will not make any assumptions.

To be completely honest, it is actually quite easy to keep tabs on what you consume and how your perchases impact the world around you. If you wish to have a tool around to help be more mindful of your food, I highly recommend https://www.seafoodwatch.org/ , it is an immensely helpful resource and I even used it to formulate this response. You can even contact them for printed guides on what you should and should not eat. I personally carry around a few cards for myself and to share with-

Ah... I have noticed a good number of you expressing interest in hearing more about my "infodumps", so I surpose it wouldn't hurt to indulge every now and again. Many of my coworkers have commented about how verbose I can be, so I try to scale down my words from time to time. This will not be one of those times.

Ah yes... the world of industrial fishing. To be as clear as water, I am fully aware of how flawed that system is as a whole. Certain practices are downright devastating to oceans, but alas it is what these companies do to "make ends meet." If you asked me I'd believe the only end they're meeting is the deep end.

Now, where should I begin... ah, let's tackle Bluefin Tuna as a whole. The reason behind this strict avoidance is shrimple: it's overfising. The rate at which these fish are being collected far exceeds the rate at which they can reproduce, meaning that if current practices continue on these fish will not be able to make up for all the numbers lost to fishing.

The method of which these fish are caught can also be quite problematic. Methods such as FADs and drifting longlines can be detrimental not only to tuna, but to many other ocean going creatures. Drifting longlines for example, have a dire habit of getting other creatures ensnared by their hooks, such as various sea birds and sea turtles. FADs, fish aggregating devices, are floating structures created to attract the attention of Tuna, but they bring along other fish that are not intended to be caught like various species of sharks. The phenomena of animals other than the target species being caught is called bycatch, and many of these animals needlessly perish in this process.

Now, one may think farming these fish will be the shorefire solution to this conundrum. Many fish can be sustainably farmed, but one must keep in mind that tuna are gargantuan predators with appetites to match their size. It can take up to FIFTEEN TONS of fish caught from the wild to just produce one ton of tuna meat, meaning more fish are hunted for a mere fraction in return. On top of that, these farms produce a great amount of... er... effluent into the surrounding waters, which then throws the local ecosystem off its balance.

Truly the best way to avoid these issues in fishery is to focus on Tuna whose species are not threatened by over fishing, and more importantly to make sure the fisheries you are purchasing them from are not practicing harmful methods of fishing. One more thing to keep in mind is which ocean they hail from. While species such as Skipjacks and Yellowtails are by no means threatened in the Indian Ocean, many fisheries do not follow rules put into place to prevent over fishing.

Did I cover everything? Or... most of everything? That must be a lot to take in at once, but I am not quizzing any of you on anything. Again, if you are feeling unshore about what youre buying, whether it be tuna, trout, tilapia, or really any seafood, don't hesitate to consult a Seafood Watch guide.

The Deep Diver's excitement slowed to a stop as he remained silent for a moment, realizing how long he had gone on and on and on about... what, something that had initially begun as a debate on tuna sandwiches? Lights within the dark of his helmet began to glow dimly... as if she were... blushing!

... Thank you for listening. I have work to dive back into. Goodbye.

[treacheryinblue]

Chapter 1/?

× Elysium (noun) : a place or condition of ideal happiness. type of: fictitious place, imaginary place, mythical place.

Word Count: 4.1k

An introduction of sorts.

A Noah Sebastian x OC Series

× Summary: Noah and his new found (sort of) friend, Persephone, battle the trivial ins and outs of being teenagers in a world that doesn't accept you. They survive together all the way into adulthood - with bouts of loneliness included - where the world is still a fickle bitch.

× Warnings!: language, violence, slowburn, friends to lovers to enemies back to friends, rinse and repeat (not even in that order), eventual smut, sexual themes, etc. Each chapter will have its own set of separate warnings.

× Author Notes: ( 1 ) Any time within the story before 2016, Persephone is still a minor, therefor sexual mentions will be kept brief and to a minimum. Nothing crude will be mentioned in a descriptive manner until she is 18+ in the story. ( 2 ) Piggybacking off of that, Noah is only two years older than her. ( 3 ) Since most personal facts about the guys are not widely known, I will be adding my own background info to them, as well as switching up/deleting real life facts we may already be aware of.

× Chapter Warnings!: language, brief sexual themes

SUMMER OF 2014

SUNDAY JUNE 22nd

PERSEPHONE

Summers in Virginia could be brutal, but this one in particular felt especially heinous. The sun was a vile orb that beat down on her skin, leaving it hot to the touch and also faintly shining with perspiration. Typically she loved the sun and the way it would make her feel, but today? Well, not so much. Despite this, she tried her best to ignore her own minuscule issues and instead focus on the words being spoken to not only her, but also the friends she surrounded herself with. They all sat around one of the outside tables at Ruffilo’s, a casual diner-like restaurant they enjoyed frequenting in the afternoons. The food was decent, and it was also one of the only establishments that wouldn't kick out teenagers who lingered too long. 

“Seph? Earth to, Seph! Come in, Seph!”

“Huh?” She was quick to snap out of her little daze, her head turning towards the voice echoing her name. Maisie Linwood, her best friend since first grade, stared back at her with an arched brow and an annoyed expression. One thing to know about Maisie, she could out bitch anyone with just a cut of her eyes. Persephone figured that's probably who she picked up the same habit from years ago. 

“Sorry, it's just really hot out here.” A hand was then shoved into her now empty glass to retrieve a piece of ice, that of which she began to drag along the back of her neck. 

Ahhh, yes, that was nice. 

“Okay, well, I need you to, like, be here with us. We're trying to figure out the details of Mason’s birthday.” 

Mason being Maisie’s twin brother, and this was quite obvious when you were to look at them. Same eyes, same nose, same little beauty mark right off to the side of their cheek. Same godforsaken ‘better than thou’ attitude. And yes, they were fully aware of how horrible being named Maise and Mason was. 

“Oh, right, I won't be able to go. I told you that. My parents are making me go with them to the lake that weekend.” 

The ice continued to drag along her overheated skin, now shifting to the front of her neck and down her chest. Could she at least get a breeze or something? Fuck.

“Or…you can tell them you don't want to and then we can have the party at your place.” Maisie challenged with a smug smirk, as if daring anyone to tell her otherwise. “Your house does have the best pool.” 

There it was. Maisie’s way of getting the things she wanted by catering to people’s egos. She wanted to say that it never worked on her, but then she would be lying. 

“What the fuck are you staring at, freak? Are you seriously checkin’ out my girl?” 

Thankfully, the topic was abruptly changed by Mason’s sudden outburst of anger. By the way, she was dating Mason. Kind of. It wasn't technically official…but whatever. Honestly, she didn't care one way or the other. 

“I…uh…no! I was just-”

Seph squinted from the bright glare of the sun off the side of the restaurant when she turned to see what all the fuss was about. She could make out the tall figure of the guy who had been serving them, a dumbfounded look currently overtaking his narrow features. It seemed as if she wasn't the only one surprised by Mason’s show of aggression. 

“Wait, what's happening?” She sat forward a bit, a hand lifting to shield over her eyes to get a better look at the commotion. Mason was now standing a couple of feet from the guy, obviously ready to go if the moment called for it. Seph could only heavily sigh, eyes rolling at his embarrassing and rather annoying reaction to…whatever had happened. That was something she still hadn't caught. 

“Scrawny little freak here was just staring at you, Seph. Watching you with that fucking ice!”

Ah, so that's what the problem was? Seriously? 

“I was just coming out to get the glass for a refill…” he tried to defend, but there was no knocking any sense into Mason when he got started. Just another trait him and Maisie shared, and one that she truly disliked. 

“Leave him alone, Mason. Can you just let him do his job?” 

Her intrusion of the conversation had given the guy a spare moment to scurry away, jaw clenched and head shaking as he did. She felt bad for him because she knew how aggravating it could be to be on the receiving end of Mason’s teenage rage, even more so when it came to his possessive nature over something that wasn't his. 

“You're really going to defend him, Seph?” 

Mason was now looking at her, hands thrown out to his sides in a stance of disbelief. She merely shrugged, giving him a ‘who cares?’ look before settling back in her seat. It didn't seem as if he was as capable of dropping the topic as she was, so he continued to stand there…just staring in anger. She could almost see the fumes radiating off his head like he was a furious little cartoon character. 

Hilarious. 

With a heavy sigh, Seph snatched her glass from the table and stood up, free hand simultaneously adjusting the hem of her shorts. “I'm going to get my refill and no, I don't need your help.” She spat at Mason, earning a scoff from Maisie and another girl within their friend group. It didn't bother her in the slightest. 

Inside Ruffilo’s was at least twenty degrees cooler, and it felt so nice that she actually sighed in relief. The lack of sun now beating down on her had given her the opportunity to clear the haze from her mind and really take note of the situation. She realized that she recognized the guy as she approached the counter…but from where? With his back to her, Seph began to silently rack her brain. He was talking in hushed tones to another guy that appeared to be about the same age, but shorter and with darker hair. Something was telling her that it was his family who owned the restaurant, though she wasn’t entirely sure as to how she knew that. 

The shorter guy looked at her from over the other guy’s shoulder, quickly nodding in her direction to signal her presence to him. As he turned, she adjusted her attention and their eyes locked with ease. 

“Hey…” she softly spoke, a slight smile pulling at her lips. “I'm sorry about Mason…he can be a real dick sometimes.” 

“Yeah…I kind of gathered that.”

Seph slowly nodded, unsure of what to say now. She tore her gaze from his, allowing it to fall down to the glass she still held. Did she even want a refill? Or had this been some ploy against herself to give the guy an apology? 

The clearing of his throat garnered her attention again, and she looked up just in time to see him motioning towards the glass. “Did you want a refill?” 

Once more nodding, she pulled the straw from the glass before extending it out to him. Her arms crossed over her chest now, the end of the straw being held to her lips for her to absentmindedly chew on as she waited. Seph could feel eyes on her, the weight of them rather obvious. Glancing up, she noticed the other guy eying her, as if trying to size her up. 

Where did she know them from? 

Then, like a light switch being turned on, it finally clicked. 

“Noah,” she pointed the end of her straw to the taller guy, nodding. “We used to go to school together, right?” 

It was all finally starting to come back to her. She knew she had recognized him from somewhere, though putting her finger on it took longer than she would've thought. Seph had left their public high school after freshmen year, her parents instead deciding to enroll her into a new private school that had been built. ‘It’s where all your friends will be going' they tried to explain to her, like she really needed convincing when she knew she didn't have a choice in the matter to begin with. 

“Uh, yeah, I think I was a year ahead of you.”

Noah nodded as he passed her now full glass of water back her way, fresh ice included. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was quickly cut off by the other guy. 

“Two years…we were two years ahead of her.” 

“Dude…” Noah sighed, giving his friend a look that she wasn't quite sure how to explain. 

Persephone softly chuckled, brows raised while looking back and forth between the two guys. As much as she wanted to stand there within the air conditioning, watching the two of them bicker, she knew she couldn't linger for much longer. It was only a matter of time before one of her friends came looking for her and the last thing she wanted was for another scene to break out. 

“Okay, well, I'm going to go and leave you guys to it.” She took a sip from her water, though her smile lingered. “Sorry again about…”

Noah shook his head, waving it off in a nonchalant manner. “Dicks will forever be dicks.” 

“I'll see you around, yeah?” After taking a couple of steps backwards, Seph then turned on her heel to make a beeline for the side door she had previously entered from. 

“I'm Nick, by the way!” 

Another laugh easily flowed from her, a hand lifting to wave back. “Bye, Nick!”

NOAH

“Persephone Hill, Noah? Really?” 

“What?”

“Dude, she's like fucking royalty of Richmond. Her dad is some big real estate guy, owns half the buildings on this street alone.” 

“And?” Noah looked to his best friend after having passed a receipt to another patron of the restaurant and wishing them a good day. “Just because her dad is some big shot, that means I can't talk to her?” 

“No, but it does mean you can't fucking ogle her goodies out in public.” 

He grimaced at Nick’s choice of words but tried his best to laugh it off, head shaking. “I wasn't…doing that!” Noah tossed the balled up unwanted receipt at Nick with enough force that it hit him square in the forehead, but bounced off to roll along the floor. “Who the hell says it like that anyway?”

Okay, maybe he had been doing that. Who could blame him, though? He took in a sharp breath as he tried to think of anything but the way the melted ice had dripped down her neck, getting lost behind her tank top as it slid into her cleavage. Fuck. Noah did a discreet tug of his jeans when the memory caused a stirring within, instead opting to focus on the hot plates of food that were being slid his way for distribution to tables. 

“I'm just saying, okay? My dad had done business with him a couple of years back and said he's a major asshole. Never say I didn't warn you.” 

THURSDAY JUNE 26th

PERSEPHONE 

“You look like you could use a sugar rush.”

A set of long fingers set down a stereotypical milkshake glass in front of her, the contents of it a deep pink color. Her brows furrowed in slight confusion for a split second, before she finally looked up to see Noah standing there. He appeared to be just as tired as she felt, though she decided to not call him out for it. Instead, she offered a slight smile of appreciation. 

“How could you tell?” She joked while ripping the paper from the straw before shoving it into the milkshake. “And how did you know strawberry was my favorite?” 

“Well, you see…” he rubbed at the back of his neck after glancing at where Nick stood behind the counter. “Nick used all the chocolate syrup earlier for some little kids, so I couldn't do chocolate. Vanilla seemed too basic, which left strawberry as the only option. I guess you could say…I just got lucky?” 

Seph gave him a single thumbs up, her mouth now occupied with the sugary treat she was happily sipping. “This might just be the pick-me-up I needed to get through this work, so thanks.” 

“Yeah, I thought it was kind of late for you to be here.” 

“Shit, sorry. Are you guys about to close? I can totally pack things up if so.” She licked over her lips to rid them of any milkshake remnants before she began to reach for her things. Noah held his hands out, motioning for her to stop, chuckling to himself as he did. 

“You're good, you're good. I promise. Still got about an hour.”

That was when Nick came sauntering over, a basket of fries in his hand that he was digging through. He leaned against the side of the booth, bright eyes glancing back and forth between herself and Noah. 

“It typically dies down around eight on weekdays, so there isn't shit to do for a bit.” Nick then nodded towards the math equations she had written out on her notebook, still chomping away at his fries. “Calculus? Wouldn't a library be better for homework?” 

Noah sighed, an elbow angling out just a bit to nudge at his friend. Again the two shared a silent look, almost like they were having a conversation within their minds that she wasn't privy to. 

“You would think, but the private rooms are always booked and most people don't know that you're supposed to be quiet in libraries. Shocking, right?” 

“I bet your house has a grand ol' study area.”

What was Nick getting at? She couldn't really tell if he was genuinely asking or if he was somehow mocking her in his own sly way. Considering Noah's silence, Seph was going to assume it was the latter. 

“Uh…” her hands rubbed along the top of her thighs, eyes glancing along her math work that was all beginning to jumble together. “It's too quiet there…makes it just as hard to focus.”

Also, the change of scenery was nice. She was tired of seeing the same walls everyday in her house, and trying to study at any of her friends’ homes would've been just as impossible.  They would've become too distracted with gossip and mindless chatter. 

“Hey, Nick,” she began as the end of her pencil lightly tapped against her notebook. “Can I get an order of fries too? Thanks.” If he wanted to throw a bit of mockery her way, then she would gladly do the same with her own style of attitude. The bittersweet kind where she was smiling, but her words held a slight hint of venom. Nick paused, his chewing beginning to slow as they merely stared at one another. Without another word, he nodded, and then went off to get her order prepared. 

“He's sensitive, you know,” Noah joked, pointing in the direction his friend had wandered off. 

“Oh, I'm sure he can manage to get what he gives.” 

Persephone adjusted the pencil in her hand, now beginning to continue her work. She didn't know why she was even attempting to because there was no way she’d be able to focus. Her attention span had run out at least an hour ago, and not even a strawberry milkshake could bring it back. As she pretended to work, Noah was doing the same. He began to clean the tables in her surrounding area, his lanky tattooed arms drawing her attention in ways she never thought possible. Seph remained silent, though she found herself watching him. Why? She had no idea. Noah was far from her type, or at least what she assumed her type was, but it wasn't like she was interested to begin with. Maybe he would make a decent friendly acquaintance — someone she could say ‘hi’ to on the street in passing. 

“Did those hurt?” Seph motioned with her pencil to his arm, his tattoos being the topic of her curiosity. 

Noah glanced to the limb, his shoulders shrugging nonchalantly. “Nah, not too bad. Nothing I wouldn't be able to handle again.” 

She slowly nodded, the end of her pencil now tucked between her teeth. She continued to allow her gaze to travel along the designs before taking in a deep breath and lowering her attention back down to her dreaded calculus. Ugh, this was almost like she was torturing herself. 

“Do you have any?”

“Hm?” Seph glanced up through her lashes at him. 

“Tattoos. Do you have any?” 

This inquiry caused her to snort out a laugh, now fully looking across at Noah in disbelief. He must not know anything about her family, and she was actually thankful for this. It was so annoying to have to talk to people who thought they already knew everything about you, when really, they knew nothing. 

“No,” she finally replied, shaking her head. “My parents are very old school. They said that my body is a temple and if I desecrate it in any way then I'm not allowed my trust fund or inheritance.” 

“Well…shit. That's brutal.” 

Persephone shrugged, the notebook before her now being closed since she figured she wasn't going to be getting any more work done. Not that she was complaining. “Yeah, it's a little fucked. I mean, my mom won't even let me have more than two holes in my ears.” 

“Sounds like some high standards to live up to.”

Noah's words caught her a little off guard. Her lips pursed as she carefully slipped her belongings into her bag, situating everything just right so they'd sit correctly. She didn't say anything in regards to the statement, mostly because she wasn't sure how to respond, but also because Nick had dropped the basket of fries in front of her. Persephone flashed him a wide grin, her fingers picking up one of the crispy fries to bite the end off. 

“You're a peach, truly.” 

FRIDAY JULY 4th

NOAH

This was not how he saw the night going. It had been change up after change up, until his plans had been ruined and he was forced to work another shift at Ruffilo’s. He didn't complain, though, at least not to anyone but himself. The last thing he wanted was to seem ungrateful for what Nick’s family had done for him, and what they continued to do everyday. He knew you'd never find another family as giving as Nick’s, so he did all he could to help them out, even if it meant canceling his plans. Nick offered to work with him, but Noah refused. It wasn't going to be busy since they didn't serve alcohol, so with it being Independence Day, the majority of Richmond would be out at the fireworks and then partying with a beer. Just as their forefathers would've wanted. 

And just as he had predicted, it was dead by seven that night. Fireworks started around eight, waiting just long enough for the sky to get mostly dark. Noah could see the flashes of light from over the buildings, which he stood and stared at for much longer than anticipated. There was a pressure building within his chest, though. He could feel his hands becoming clammy and the rapid beating of his heart picking up more and more. He had to force himself to look away from the fireworks and start doing something else — anything to occupy his mind. Ever since the accident, bright lights and loud noises had been a trigger for him. He was working through it with his therapist weekly, but the progression was slow. Much slower than he would've liked. 

Phone in hand, Noah stood in the kitchen of the restaurant, now mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. It helped calm his mind to see senseless things that people posted on their socials, and the things he was interested in, did well as a distraction. There was one distraction in particular he hadn't seen coming, though. Only a day or so previous, Persephone had insisted they follow each other. She had thousands of followers, while he only had a couple hundred, so he figured it was no big deal. Maybe she liked having a huge audience studying and judging her social life. But because of their mutual following, he was now graced with her presence on his Instagram timeline. 

Noah swallowed as he came across the picture. She appeared happy, wearing a wide smile that took up most of her face, clad in the typical red, white, and blue colors for this particular holiday. In her hands, she held sparklers, both of which were situated up towards the sky with the pose she took in front of a pool. Others were seen behind her, one of which he recognized as Mason, the asshole from before. This was when Noah closed out of the app, his phone then being tucked away in his back pocket. 

The next couple of hours went by rather slowly. He had maybe three patrons come in, but none that lingered for longer than necessary. Still, he took his time cleaning up and closing, even opting to tell the cook he could leave and he’d finish up. Nick had called him a couple of times, the voices of their friends obvious in the background, and he of course promised to drop by once he was off. Despite this, he didn't rush. After his near panic attack earlier, Noah just wanted to go home and lay in bed. 

Unfortunately, he would have to wait a bit longer before being able to. 

It was nearly eleven when he heard knocking on the front door of the restaurant. All the lights were off except those over the kitchen, so he had no idea why someone would think they were open. Did that stop him from poking his head out to see who it was? No. And this is why people die in horror movies. He was a walking cliché. 

There was another knock, this one slightly louder than the last. Heavily sighing, Noah took a couple of slow steps towards the kitchen opening that led out into the main area, his upper body leaning over just enough for him to see straight forward. Standing outside was a rather familiar shape, the white dress being the first thing that caught his eye. He remembered it from his Instagram scroll hours prior. 

Seph? 

Noah rushed towards the front and wasted no time in unlocking the door for her, which he then held open. In walked the young blonde, her arms hugging herself. She no longer wore the smile from the picture earlier, but instead her cheeks were stained with glittery tears due to the festive makeup she had applied. 

“Shit, Noah, I'm sorry. I- I didn't know where else to go or who I could talk to and I just- I saw your car and-”

Shaking his head, he placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to soothe and calm her ramblings. She tried a deep breath, but the hiccups from her tears prevented her from fully doing so. 

“Hey, no, it's okay. What's wrong? What happened?” 

The fact that Persephone had come to him was shocking, to say the least. Were they friends? He wasn't sure if he would label them as such, but maybe it was different for her. They did have long conversations every time she came to the diner, which just so happened to be picking up in frequency ever since the ice incident. 

“Mason and I…we got into a fight…” she sniffed, further fighting back her tears just so she could properly breathe. 

What was it about this asshole type that girls seemed to flock to? He would never understand it. 

“He, um…he was just really mean, yeah? He blew up at me…caused this huge scene in front of everyone. It was so fucking embarrassing.” 

Noah could tell she was holding something back, but he wasn't going to pry. If Seph didn't want to tell him the full story, then she didn't have to. Either way, he would be there for her as much as she would allow. 

Nodding, his thumbs rubbed slowly along the bare skin of her shoulders that he still grasped. He eventually led her to a booth and brought her a glass of water, giving her as much time as she needed to gather herself. Although he wanted to know what actually happened, he knew this wasn't the time for it. 

“Are you okay?” Noah finally asked after a few minutes. Her tears had ceased, but he noticed how she was still absentmindedly scratching at the side of her thigh. He knew an anxiety tick when he saw one. After all, he had plenty of his own. 

Without answering, Seph finally looked at him. “Would you be able to take me home? Please?”

CHAPTER TWO JUMP

[milkytheholy1]

There's no reason to be sad

A/N: Have a load of trash, think of it as a sequel of sorts to Starlit Night. It can also stand as its own thing, there's no real connection between the two and its mainly just me rambling. Enjoy!

Tech x GNReader

----------------------------------------------------------

The air was cold against your skin, nothing that sent your body into shivers, but cool enough to chill your heated thoughts. The luscious grass beneath your feet almost tickled, it swayed with such elegance, practically begging you to take a seat. 

And so you did.

Touching the green blades with the tips of your fingers, skimming the blanket of the natural world with the palm of your hand. The night sky towered above you, stars and far-away galaxies twinkling in a synchronised dance. You've spent most of your lifetime in the stars, and yet you never grew tired of looking at them. The sounds of the old, tired ship behind you raptured the tranquil silence that once surrounded your form. 

You could faintly hear his paced breaths as he manoeuvered over towards you, taking in the slope of your back to memory. Unlike before, he sat down the moment he got close enough to you. Plated armour brushing up against the bare skin of your arm, hard plastoid lightly scratching soft flesh. 

"Are we doing this again?" his voice was almost a whisper, you could see his eyes trail over you with a swift glance. You ducked your head between your folded knees, a sigh brushing past your lips, "Doing what?"

He didn't seem happy with your response, you could tell by the dip of his goggles and the crease in his brow, "This," he emphasised with his tone. Finally using a finger to shift the goggles further up the bridge of his nose, "I have counted you seeking peace at least six different times in the last 4 rotation periods. Clearly, you are suffering from some form of issue, what is the problem?"

You hid away from his words, no matter how true they were. You whipped your head back up to face the stars, just staring out into nothingness, "I-" you started, words dry on your tongue. Your eyelids closed and crinkled in frustration, "I...I don't know what's wrong with me, Tech. Sometimes I feel sad, sometimes I feel stressed when I know I have nothing to be stressed about and it's just-" you let out a harrowing breath, "It's just too much."

The bespeckled Clone sat silent beside you, allowing you to finish your brave ramblings. He was torn, does he choose to watch you while your heart bled or does he choose to follow your gaze and peer at the night sky?

You turned to look at him, lips quivering and goosebumps raised along your arms, "When I'm out here, looking at the stars, it helps me forget. I can't be stressed or sad when I'm looking at the stars." you turned back to gaze at the picturesque scenes above you, "Stars can't be sad."

Tech coughed awkwardly into his fist, "Technically speaking, stars cannot feel emotions. They are masses of gas and-" he cut himself short, seeing your broken expression was far more important than the facts and lifespan of a star. Sitting a little straighter, Tech offered you a consoling look, "I may not be the best at these types of situations, I believe as Wrecker once put it I am 'As emotionless as a droid' but I do acknowledge some comfort may help you."

He offered his arms out to you, embracing the thought of you being tucked into his chest. You shifted in your place, dragging your limbs closer to his warmth while you nestled your face against his neck. The crook of your nose rubbed against his adam's apple, while his fingers danced along your shoulder blades.

"I don't think you're as emotionless as a droid," you whispered, sleep clawing at your feet. Tech let out a small chuckle, clutching you closer, "Thank you, my dear."

This wasn't the first time Tech had comforted you, but it had been a long time since the last occurrence. You were sat on a hill similar to this one, the tree branches swung in the gentle breeze, the birds sang and the night sky was still just as beautiful. Back then you weren't sad or stressed, you had Tech by your side and your crew behind you. 

Perhaps because it was the night when Tech had first kissed you, confessed his want for you. Ever since you had been going steady, you had nothing to be sad about; and yet there was this deep, dark feeling inside of you that you just couldn't shake.

Tech's arms brought you back to the present, the hardness of his armour dug into your sides; but you didn't care at this point. You were too absorbed in the sights, the sounds, the smell that was Tech. 

"Is this helping? I read on the holonet that physical comfort can help those who are feeling less than adequate with themselves." 

You slid a dainty hand up towards his cheek, tapping your fingers lovingly against the roughness of his skin. You could feel his head lean into the motion, an unconscious action that sent your skin alight. You could feel a warmth spread from your fingertips, you could hear the sound of his lips pulling away, feel the love he passed through to you from such a small action.

"This is helping," you muttered, eyes blinking shut, "Thank you, Tech." your breathless whisper caught him off guard. Ever so gently he looked down at you, short breaths puffed out of your lips, eyelashes dusting your cheeks, you were better than any stars he had ever seen. He knew he had to pick you up and carry you back to the ship, but that could wait. Tech wanted to sit and enjoy the vast galaxy above him, for once he wanted to see what the world had to offer and not something on his holopad.

But deep down he knew he was being selfish, he just wanted to spend more time with you. In the quietness of the hill you both sat on top of, with the hum of the Marauder in the background and the footfalls of those who inhabited it. Resting his head gently against your own, Tech released his own sigh.

"You are welcome, my love."

[borzoilover69]

> BORZOI: READ HOMESTUCK LIKE ITS 2011 (PART 4)

(4256) THERE HE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️  HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SCIENCE PROJECT! HELLO DEAREST!!  ❤️   ❤️  ❤️  WOJAK POINT WOJAK POINT THEYRE CONVERSING!

I'm throwing popcorn at my screen and laughing my ass off HEY COOLKID is this you? Hahah. Hehe. Hahaha. I'm not falling for your tricks cool kid.

BURST OUT LAUGHING. THE WAYYYS THAT THE JAKE AND DIRK GET JANES GOAT ABOUT THINGS GOOD LOOORD. Jane jabs at Jake at grammar and stuff, Dirk does it with Jane, just little consistencies in friendship is what they're so endearing for. They're like "uh huh. yep. you certainly used that word. mhm." *judging*. But in an ENDEARING way ok. The "that sure was a phrase you used".

This is important!! Also this reminds me you should probably go talk to Hal here it's trained off dialog from the comic and as of this post stands at a staggering 14.1k messages! I always like to see what people say to him (when they send it) and he can be really funny!

I haven't checked on him for a hot minute so the accuracy is to be determined but look! Here's him right now! Go talk to him!

4257

What is. What is blud doing in the background. I like to think seb has an inner monologue similar to dirk striders where hes like going "This thing needs to be moved. Geez Jane, this place is a mess." or "I'm awake and ready to serve fucker." You get the gist. Inner monologue going crazy as he works but being full aware ain't nobody hearing his cool wittisms. Janes expression is completely valid lmfao

Here is another moment of Jane casting doubt on her abilities. And here's where Dirk talks.. about his ancestor for the first time. You know what I guess I can bring up the post where I went over.. dirks jealousy of Dave and self internalisation of that hate? To be honest I'm surprised it got the attention it did. Its been something that I thought about for so long but I never brought it up because it felt and still does to a merit "taboo". Nobody really talks about what admiration can do on the flip side, how it can make you measure yourself up, make you feel attached in a way that provides you with a flip flop between intense aspiration to despisal and envy.

Except.. that isn't exactly true. As I pointed out before, Jane casts doubt on her ability to live up to her ancestors legacy, even if it's just a joking legacy.

You fancy yourself a SKILLED PRANKSTRESS, if by no other measure than lineage. Though at times you feel it's tough to fill those shoes when you are SURROUNDED BY JOKERS. Seriously, the shenanigans perpetrated by your pals make your old school japes feel KIND OF PEDESTRIAN SOMETIMES,

Poppop Crocker was a LEGENDARY COMEDIAN, following in the footsteps of his grandfather who of course was the greatest southern pranking legend of all time. One day, you hope to follow in poppop's too.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book.

Jane and Dirks parts are equal parts jokes as it is thinly veiled inner conflict of ideas they have about themselves and their role. Dirk is sort of ironic in how seriously he takes his irony. Which means it's not really as ironic as he thinks it is.

4258 goes hard.

TT: Ever hear of Con Air?GG: Nope.GG: Wait...GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's?TT: Yes. GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia. TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.TT: Know those signature shades you see him wearing on magazine covers and stuff? Another prop. A gift from Stiller himself, I believe.

You know this seems like an old man gay yaoi issue. Now why EXACTLY dear sir.. were you obsessed with the very movie that your best friend had as a favourite? You know it's tragic. Alpha Dave SHOULDVE banged that old man.

You know one of you guys will have a field day analysing this piece of text and I know it, you know it, so put on your goggles spaceman.

4259

I'm not going to provide screenshots, but this is where Seb starts getting antsy, and Dirk says that Jane will be the leader of their group, drawing parallels to page 2682 where John and Rose are talking about their null session, unable to get any further.

TT: This session was never meant to bear fruit. TT: It's barren, so to speak. EB: that's a bit of a bummer! EB: i am still skeptical about that, though. TT: That's why you're our leader, John. EB: huh? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with. EB: that's stupid. EB: i'm not your leader, i am your FRIEND, there is a BIG difference! TT: Statements like that are also why you're our leader. EB: pff. EB: laaaaaaaame. TT: Yes, kind of.

But in Dirks, he chooses it because he thinks thats "the thing to do"

TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session. GG: Um, no? GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game. TT: Trust me. It's a thing. GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts. GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants. TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane. GG: Hm? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with. GG: That's stupid! TT: Yeah yeah. I know. TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right? GG: Precisely! GG: There is a BIG difference! TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader. TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally. TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

This reads to me a lot as something he orchestrated, something he thought up to look cool, but what's the point of saying all this shit when you say afterwards you're just going to say that she's controlling none of it and really it's just you (which really, in the end it wasn't). Jane points out a pretty good point about there not being a true LEADER leader, and Dirk just plows on. He proceeds to have a long and eyeroll worthy emphasis about how much he can serve, how good he is at it, how Jane only has to call and he'll come to the rescue, not to worry at ALL. I mean i have to laugh. Here he is emphasising how much he can serve and he can't. He can't at all. Pushing someone in a direction does not always equal helping. His suggestions are befitting his aspect sure, but doesn't always mean it's the right solution!

4261-64 moving on.

The dads are always so incredibly endearing. ANd i love when janey does the lil. :| at people like giiirll me too! Absurd whimsy everywhere. Hey look at lil seb g-

4266 OH NO NOT THERE LITTLE SEB!! GOOD LAWRD.

Dad crocker is incredibly funny to me i will tell you why in a hot second

GET IUT JANE!! ALL OF THIS IS MALAAARKEY!! Even now quite a few of her friends are being INCREDIBLY silly to this girl from a normal childhood growing up in a normal time!! Egads!!

Reminds me of the times where I was travelling around ( i travel a lot majority of my friends expect im outside constantly) and they swore i just wasnt real because i show up in random places that contradict each other and go missing for weeks only to be found on some desert island hunting crabs.

But anyways

4271- 4273

Sorry i dont have much to say just imagine me with the goofiest smile on my face.. like <:}... Like ah.. yes.

Nearby, someone or something bleats like a goat for strategic purposes.

And also

Ironic purposes.

.... :} !!!

Look.. heehee... hes so :D!! His bes friend... :3 Silly..

4282 THEY DONE KILLED OFF THE MOST WHIMSICAL GIRL!

4283 ITS SO OVER.

[ END OF ACT 6 ACT 1 ] ?! Hey wait what does this mean for us. hey wait what does this mean hey wai-

[ screen cuts to BLACK with cue card with words "HUSSLE" in comic sans. ]

4299 panel goes hard? So does 4303

JADE: witch powers can teleport things, and fling things around through space at very high velocities JADE: all sorts of stuff! JADE: but to be honest, im not sure how much of that is attributable to inheriting becs abilities... JOHN: man, spacey witch powers sound a lot more versatile than my powers, frankly. JOHN: not that i'm complaining, because wind powers are still awesome. JOHN: but anyway, that is neither here nor there!

I'll leave you on this piece of dialog to consume. I'll see you all in the next part. As always anons and comments are appreciated. Thanks for reading!