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horsemenoftheapocalypse-if · 2 years ago

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(First ever collaboration IF between the Author of King's Despair and Dragon's Edged.)

Writer's Links: Dragon's Edged & King's Despair

(Warning: 18+ The story includes the following: Violence, , self-doubt, cliché’s, child abuse, torture, trauma and many more will be added in the future.)

Kroz&Author

"Greetings, Reader!

You are about to enter a world of darkness, danger, and deception.

A world where a child has been sold to the most powerful underworld company known as the Fates. A world where you will have to make life-or-death decisions for them. This is not a typical story of an orphan or a survivor.

This is a story of a child who has to learn how to kill, lie, and manipulate in order to survive in the dark side of New York City. A city where crime never sleeps and where the Fates control everything from the shadows.

You are not just a passive observer of this story. You are an active participant. You are the voice, the intuition, the gut feeling of the child protagonist. You will have to guide them through their trials and tribulations, their choices and consequences, their victories and defeats. But be careful, Reader.

The Fates are watching your every move. They have plans for you and the child. Plans that may not end well for either of you.

Are you ready to take on this challenge, Reader? Are you ready to face the Fates? Reader I beckon you to join them on this extraordinary adventure, where danger lurks at every turn, and the stakes are unimaginably high.

Through your unwavering presence, you will empower our young hero to face their fears, outsmart their enemies, and ultimately shape their own destiny.

Prepare yourself for a thrilling and immersive experience. Brace for the adrenaline-pumping encounters, the unexpected alliances, and the heart-wrenching decisions that will test the limits of our protagonist's resilience.

The fate of our young protagonist lies in your hands. Choose wisely, for their life depends on it. Decided are we?

Then come closer, and let me tell you more about this story…"

Introduction:

You were a kid, was a kid, now your a cold-blooded killing machine.

Dispensing justice and vengeance using your guns and knives. A modern robin hood you ask? Nope your not wearing any leotard pants or cap.

You're a merciless executioner, killing anyone who crosses your way. But underneath all that bloodshed and brutality, you still have a soft spot for kids.

It all started when you were taken by a prolific assassin, who decided to make you his protege. Armed with guns and knives, he taught you how to kill, track and hunt. But there was one rule that he made you live by, "No children, we never hurt them". That code fueled your respect for the man.

Through rigorous training, you became an expert in sharpshooting, knife throwing, and stealth. You even surpassed the master assassin, becoming the leader of your own hit squad. Together you and him started cleaning the streets from drugs, hoodlums, pimps and mafias. That made you a hero to the poor and downtrodden. But you were known by the authorities as a murderer and vigilante.

Despite all the havoc you reaped, you kept your code. Whenever you had a child captive, you would send them back to their families or orphanage. But one day, rumors of a powerful entity known as "The Fate's" were spreading they deal with guns, prostitution, alcohol, guns for hire, and mercenaries.

It was said that they're the Top Dog of the black market, the consigners of death and terrorisms. You know because your were one of the victims in their child trafficking business.

Now it's up to you to take down "The Fates", the only problem is that you couldn't seem to find any hard evidence against them. It was rumored that they cover their tracks so meticulously.

Until one day a member of their organization was sent to the hit list.

The client? The Fates their selves wanting to kill one their own. Yet there is one problem, your just still a rookie under the eyes of your teacher and he's not getting any younger.

"We need you to get a team and a back-up plan," your mentor said. "To get to The Fates, we need to be ready for everything they throw at us."

Despite his worring tone, you were confident that you can end this once and for all.

Now it's up to the great assassin and their protege, to bring the dark side of the world to light and serve justice to those who deserve it.

"It's time, kiddo," he smirked as he patted your back. "You've proven yourself more than ready for what's ahead, you will be leading this team but under my supervision of course!"

This was an exciting step towards finally taking down the Fates. With your mentor and you leading the team, you were sure it will be successful. After all, this was his legacy, and you will be a part of it. Together, you and him gathered a group of skilled mercenaries, sharpshooters, and information brokers.

You knew it wasn't going to be an easy mission. The Fates were known for their ruthless methods and their underhand tactics. To take them down, you needed to be able to outsmart them.

But this wasn't a rite of passage or even a battle of egos. This was a race against time, a race to save countless souls like you, who were trapped and used for the Fates' twisted plans.

Elizabeth Baker, The Rider of Death

"Appearances can be deceiving. I don't have to be gentle with my words to save your life."

She was once a respected doctor at a prestigious hospital, admired by colleagues and loved by patients. Her passion for saving lives and talent for surgery were well-known. However, everything changed when she uncovered the hospital's dark truth. They were charging exorbitant fees while using second-hand equipment and expired drugs. The medical director was involved in a corruption scheme, siphoning off millions of dollars.

When Elizabeth confronted him, he responded with threats and violence. In self-defense, she accidentally killed him with a scalpel. Fleeing the scene, she left behind her career and reputation, going into hiding. In the underworld, she became a freelance doctor, offering services to criminals and outcasts.

Operating in secret locations, she used whatever tools and resources she could find. Her prices were high, but she maintained high standards. Morality and legality didn't matter to her clients as long as they paid well and respected her rules. With a sharp tongue and a cold heart, she became the most sought-after doctor in the underworld.

Over time, her skills grew, and she began performing complex procedures like organ transplants and limb replacements. You and your mentor have made countless deals with Death, even cheating him a few times, so you know how to handle someone like her.

Nate O'Neil, The Rider Of Conquest

"The beauty of an explosion's light surpasses that of a sunrise!"

Nate is an unpredictable force within the group. He excels at causing explosions and demolishing obstacles, making him the go-to person for such tasks. Nate embodies chaos and has a twisted love for destruction.

Recklessness defines Nate. He thrives in dangerous situations, embracing the adrenaline rush that comes with each explosive endeavor. With a devil-may-care attitude, he charges into any situation, leaving destruction in his wake. His disregard for personal safety often leaves his comrades on edge, unsure of what he might do next.

Nate's passion for pyrotechnics is unmatched. He finds beauty in the chaos and destruction that fire brings, taking pleasure in watching things go up in flames. His eyes light up at explosions, and his laughter echoes through the chaos as he revels in the fiery spectacle. He is a true pyromaniac, using the world as his canvas to paint with flames.

But Nate is not just a reckless demolition expert; he is also the life of the party. With his larger-than-life personality, he fills the room with infectious energy. His boisterous laughter and dark jokes keep everyone entertained, even in dire circumstances. Nate can turn any situation into a comedy show, ensuring there is never a dull moment.

He possesses an innate talent for determining the right amount of explosive power needed to achieve the desired result, whether it's breaching a secure facility or creating a distraction with a chaotic firework display.

Nate is also one of the most loyal members of the group. He always has their back, regardless of the situation. He willingly puts himself in harm's way to protect his comrades and will fight fiercely for them if necessary. His bravery knows no bounds, and while his recklessness can sometimes lead to trouble, it is ultimately his heroic actions that make him the beloved daredevil he is today. Nate O'Neil is a wild card, a dynamo of destruction, and the heart of humor in the group. He reminds everyone that even in the darkest times, laughter and explosions can still exist, and he is always ready to ignite excitement wherever he goes.

Haley Jones, The Rider Of Famine

"When I look through the scope, all I see is you."

Haley, a Texan country girl, was born and raised on a ranch. She had a fiery spirit and a talent for precision. While she was no stranger to hard work and the thrill of the open fields, it was the touch of cold metal and the weight of a sniper rifle that truly ignited her passion.

From a young age, Haley displayed an uncanny talent for marksmanship. Her ability to hit headshots with unwavering accuracy earned her the title of the best sniper in her town's academy. Instead of pursuing a military career, Haley chose to become an assassin, targeting key figures who committed heinous acts.

Haley's movements were as precise as her shots. She never missed a target and always completed her missions efficiently. Her sass and flirtatiousness added to the mystique that surrounded her. She often used her curves to distract opponents, giving her time to get into optimal shooting position. People said that if you heard Haley's rifle, it was already too late - you had been marked and there was no escaping your fate.

Despite being an elite assassin, Haley never lost sight of her roots. She took pride in her Texan heritage and maintained a strong work ethic. After every assignment, she would return home to the ranch to decompress from the chaos. Among familiar faces, she would tend to the fields or go horseback riding, finding solace in the simplicity of her upbringing.

David Garcia, The Rider Of War

"I don't engage in meaningless conversations. Prove your worth or go away."

David is a mysterious and versatile individual. In private, he is quiet and reserved, preferring simple communication. However, during missions, he surprises even his closest allies with his various personas.

David is quick-witted and can easily become a charismatic trickster. With his clever wordplay and silver tongue, he can turn the tide of a battle without using force.

Flirtation comes naturally to David, and he uses it to manipulate and gather information. It's hard to determine his true intentions when encountering him.

Regardless of the roles he assumes, David is always dedicated to completing his missions. He will do whatever it takes to accomplish his tasks, whether it's infiltrating an enemy stronghold or uncovering a sinister plot.

#adult fiction #authors of tumblr #fiction #if game #if recs #if wip #interactive fiction #interactive game #interactive novel #interactive story #original writing #twine game #twine if #twine wip

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naviarlab · 7 months ago

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naviarhaiku564 – Fog clears away

Fog clears away: the waterfall shows up bit by bit.

Undoubtedly one of the most important Japanese novelists in modern history, Natsume Sōseki began his career publishing haiku and renku poems in a number of newspapers and periodicals. Early in his career he met Masaoka Shiki, who encouraged him to become a writer and tutored him in the art of composing haiku.

Between 1900 and 1903 he studied at the UCL in London, but this proved to be quite a dramatic experience for the young Soseki. Despite this, when Soseki returned to Japan, he exploded into prolific writing activity.

Haiku by Natsume Soseki

Picture by Ifan Bima

Join The Naviar Haiku Music Challenge

This haiku poem is part of the Naviar haiku music challenge, where artists are invited to make music in response to a weekly assigned haiku poem. Participation is free and there are no limitations in the songs’ length or genre.

You have seven days from the posting of this haiku to submit your track. For information on how to make a submission, visit the Naviar Haiku Music Challenge page.

Submission deadline: 30th October 2024

#naviar #haiku #ambient #electronic #experimental #micropoetry #poetry #poem #short poem

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successmatters · 2 years ago

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The Inspirational Nick Vujicic Story: Overcoming Adversity with Unwavering Spirit — SuccessMatters4me

Discover the incredible and inspiring journey of Nick Vujicic, who defied all odds and turned his life’s challenges into opportunities. In this Nick Vujicic Story your will learn how he conquered adversity with unwavering spirit and became a symbol of hope.

Introduction: Triumph Over Adversity

Life is an unpredictable journey, and while some may face challenges that seem insurmountable, there are extraordinary individuals who redefine the very essence of resilience and determination. One such exceptional soul is Nick Vujicic, whose story has touched millions of hearts worldwide. Born without limbs, Nick’s life could have easily been filled with despair and hopelessness. However, against all odds, he chose to embrace his uniqueness, turning his hardships into a beacon of hope for others facing adversity.

Nick Vujicic Story: A Life Beyond Limits

In this awe-inspiring story, we delve into the life of Nick Vujicic, exploring his early years, challenges, triumphs, and the profound impact he has made on people’s lives across the globe.

Early Life and Challenges

Nick Vujicic was born on December 4, 1982, in Melbourne, Australia, with a rare disorder known as Tetra-amelia syndrome. This condition left him without arms and legs, presenting a tremendous challenge from the very beginning. Facing a future that seemed bleak and unpromising, Nick’s journey was destined to be anything but ordinary.

A Childhood Transformed

Growing up, Nick’s childhood was marked by various struggles as he navigated the complexities of his disability. Like any child, he longed for acceptance and belonging, but his physical differences made him the subject of curiosity and, at times, cruel taunts. Despite the adversity, Nick’s unyielding spirit and the support of his loving family helped him find solace in his faith and develop a deep sense of purpose.

Embracing Uniqueness: Nick’s Turning Point

At a young age, Nick underwent a transformation that would change his outlook on life forever. He realized that he had a choice — to either let his circumstances define him or to rise above them. Nick chose the latter, embracing his uniqueness and discovering the power of a positive mindset. This shift in perspective marked the beginning of his remarkable journey of triumph over adversity.

Nick’s Remarkable Achievements

With an unwavering determination and a passion to make a difference, Nick Vujicic accomplished feats that seemed impossible. Here are some of the extraordinary achievements that define his awe-inspiring story:

1. Becoming a Motivational Speaker

In his teens, Nick began to speak publicly about his experiences, sharing his story of resilience and inspiring others to find purpose in their lives. His magnetic personality and captivating speeches drew people in, leaving an indelible impact on all who listened.

2. Founding Life Without Limbs

Nick founded the non-profit organization, Life Without Limbs, with the mission to provide support, encouragement, and hope to individuals facing physical and emotional challenges. Through this organization, he continues to touch lives and make a significant difference in the world.

3. Traveling the Globe to Inspire

Nick’s powerful messages of hope and determination have taken him to numerous countries around the world. His talks have resonated with diverse audiences, transcending cultural and linguistic barriers, and leaving a profound influence on people of all ages.

4. Best-Selling Author

Nick Vujicic is a prolific writer and an accomplished author of several best-selling books. His written works offer insight, guidance, and encouragement, inspiring readers to live life to the fullest and embrace their true potential.

5. Supporting Special Needs Children

Through his organization, Nick actively supports and advocates for special needs children, ensuring they receive the care and resources they need to lead fulfilling lives.

6. A Loving Family Man

Beyond his achievements, Nick is a devoted husband and a loving father to four beautiful children. He exemplifies the values of love, compassion, and perseverance within his own family, further exemplifying the strength of his character.

The Power of Faith and Resilience

Central to Nick’s incredible journey is his unshakable faith and resilience. Despite facing immense physical challenges, he never allowed his spirit to be defeated. Nick’s faith has been the guiding force that empowers him to overcome obstacles and find meaning even in the darkest of times.

The Global Impact of Nick’s Story

Nick Vujicic’s story has transcended geographical boundaries and cultural differences, touching the lives of millions worldwide. Through his advocacy work, motivational speeches, and books, he has become a symbol of hope and an inspiration to countless individuals facing adversity.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is Nick Vujicic’s greatest achievement?

Nick’s greatest achievement lies in his ability to inspire and uplift others despite facing significant physical challenges. His impact as a motivational speaker and author has touched millions of lives, making him a beacon of hope for those in need.

How did Nick Vujicic become a motivational speaker?

Nick’s journey into motivational speaking began in his teens when he started sharing his story at public events. His remarkable ability to connect with people and instill hope led to invitations to speak at various gatherings, eventually launching his career as a renowned motivational speaker.

How does Nick Vujicic’s faith influence his life?

Nick’s faith serves as the foundation of his resilience and unwavering spirit. His deep belief in God’s purpose for him allows him to find strength in difficult times and motivates him to make a positive impact on the lives of others.

What is the mission of Life Without Limbs?

Life Without Limbs, founded by Nick Vujicic, aims to provide support, encouragement, and resources to individuals facing physical and emotional challenges. The organization strives to spread the message of hope and empower people to live life to the fullest.

How has Nick’s story inspired people globally?

Nick’s story of triumph over adversity has inspired people worldwide by demonstrating the power of resilience and the importance of embracing one’s uniqueness. His ability to turn challenges into opportunities resonates with individuals from all walks of life.

How does Nick Vujicic balance his family life with his advocacy work?

Nick is deeply committed to his family and ensures that he balances his advocacy work with dedicated time for his wife and children. His supportive family plays a crucial role in his life, and he actively involves them in his mission of spreading hope.

Conclusion: An Enduring Legacy of Hope

Nick Vujicic’s story is a testament to the indomitable human spirit and the transformative power of a positive outlook. Despite the most challenging circumstances, Nick turned his life into an extraordinary journey of hope, faith, and perseverance. His impact continues to touch lives globally, reminding us all that our attitudes can shape our destinies and that every obstacle is an opportunity for growth. Nick’s legacy is a beacon of light for generations to come, encouraging us to embrace our uniqueness and triumph over adversity.

Read More:-

50 Best Inspirational Quotes of All Time with Description

If you enjoyed this blog and found it motivating, please leave a comment to let us know. Your feedback encourages us to continue sharing inspiring information. Share this blog with friends facing challenges in life, so they can be inspired to pursue their dreams. Let’s spread inspiration and make a positive impact on others.

#nick vujicic #inspiration #motivational stories #inspiring story #motivation #motivational #inspirational stories #stories

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adacademic · 2 years ago

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On Writing Minorities, from the Perspective of a Trans Woman of Color

Content Warning: Mention of Sexual Assault As a trans woman of color, a writer, and an avid player of tabletop RPGs both, I came to a realization about myself three years ago. Most of my characters in stories, most of my player characters in tabletop RPGs, and even the non-player characters my players interact with when I’m on the other side of the DM’s chair, almost all of them had two things in common. They were white, and they were cisgender. Sure, some of them were queer, most often bisexual, like myself. However, when it came to race and gender, it was difficult to put those two facets of myself into the characters I had created, no matter how similar to me they were.

Allow me, for a moment, to exposit. Dungeons and Dragons, easily the most prolific tabletop RPG, features a host of non-human races, or “species,” as the game has recently begun to pivot to. Humans sit alongside Tolkien-esque elves and dwarves, as well as goblins and orcs. Such races are common enough in fantasy, but Dungeons and Dragons has one particularly standout race in its core rules which catches people’s eyes - Tieflings. Tieflings are, in the lore of the Forgotten Realms, Dungeons and Dragon’s flagship setting, humanoids who have a demonic or devilish ancestry, either due to a bloodline curse, a dealing with a devil in one’s family history, or a fiendish parent or grandparent. Such individuals are often marked with devilish traits - including horns, tails, and red skin.

The risk of including a race that is inherently demonic, of course, begs to be viewed in a light that suggests problematic racial attitudes. A race that has evil quite literally in its blood draws uncomfortable parallels to the ways in which real life peoples have been treated or viewed, and ostracized as a result. Wizards of the Coast, the creators of Dungeons and Dragons, have in the past decade made attempts to retcon “evil” races, including not only tieflings but orcs, goblins, and a host of others to be just as free to be good or evil as any other race[1]. However, a problem still remains - in the Forgotten Realms, Tieflings are nevertheless regarded with suspicion, and in this light, Tieflings become a stand-in for real life racial minorities. Dungeons and Dragons’ fan run wiki cites an official book which remarks that a number of Tieflings turn to crime, choosing to embrace their heritage or simply conceding to society’s view of them - an allegory which one could argue serves as a stand in for real life racial minorities disproportionately turning to crime as a result of fewer opportunities.

However, this allegory creates a new problem - tieflings, often times used as a stand in for racial minorities to create a form of “fantasy bigotry” that exists in one’s own Dungeons and Dragons setting, have undeniable ties to creatures who are by their nature cosmically fated to do evil. There is an uncomfortable specter that hangs over every plotline in a Dungeons and Dragons game where a party of adventurers meets a tiefling criminal wrongly accused of a crime they didn’t commit, because there is any reason at all to believe they might have some inclination towards evil. I myself am not guilty of this, having created tiefling characters who existed as oppressed minorities in the first Dungeons and Dragons campaign I ever ran. The first time I played as one in a game, I used a Tiefling to explore my experience becoming a racial outsider for the first time when I went to college, but found myself somewhat uncomfortable with the fact that despite this, I was intentionally playing into the general moral ambiguity of Tieflings in the setting.

This problem is what I will tentatively and selfishly call “the stand-in’s dilemma.” It is incredibly challenging to write characters who have some other quality as a stand-in for a real life thing, especially if that quality is belonging to a minority group. This problem is three-fold. First, it whitewashes a character, hiding their minority traits behind a plausibly deniable veneer which can be ignored to make the character more comfortably consumable to an audience that views the status of minorities as an uncomfortable social issue to be avoided. Secondly, it can problematize the character, creating unintentional connections that turn the character’s (allegorical) minority status into something which somehow justifies the in-universe bigotry. Lastly, I feel justifying a character’s minority status through a narrative in some ways devalues their quality of representation - not every trans character’s narrative should be about being trans, and not every black character’s narrative should be about their race. If these characters are not allowed to simply exist, the story can unintentionally peddle the idea that these characters' identities need to be narratively justified in order to belong in a story.

My first attempt at an allegorically trans character was a cis woman, the daughter of a well off family who was bitten by a vampire and turned into one herself, being hidden away by her family as a result, while they searched for a way to fix her. Unwilling to accept she needed to be fixed, she ran away from home, determined to escape her old life.

At the time, I was proud enough of the concept. She was in some ways trans-coded, in terms of behavior and attitude, and the broad strokes of her life felt, to me, to be a rough estimation of elements of my life. I showed it to a friend, asking for opinions, and he brought up something that stopped me in my tracks. In Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the vampire Dracula can be read as a sexual predator, who takes what he wants - in his case, blood - by stealth or force. Much discussion has been had about how Dracula exists as an allegory for sexual abuse. In creating a character whose vampire-ness served as a stand-in for transness, I had unwittingly created a character who was also allegorically tied to sexual predation, a particularly common hateful stereotype levied against trans women, especially in the oft trotted out bathroom debate.

However, writing a character who is blatantly and plainly trans or non-white can come with its own challenges. A recent attempt at writing a character who was explicitly transgender resulted in one I was rather happy with, a brown-skinned trans girl who used vigilantism to exist as herself while living a double life at home with an unaccepting father, who resents her for her half-elf qualities, because of her absentee elven mother.. However, this, too, stumbles into the third problem I outlined in my so-called “stand-in’s dilemma.” Her transness is made plot relevant, in a way that sticks in my craw ever so slightly. I have considered alternate versions of the character, like one where she transitions, then turns to vigilantism later. In this version of the character, though, it feels like being trans is an unrelated, additional qualifier to the character, who is already a brown skinned half-elf, a vigilante, and a magic user besides.

A possible reason for this, I think, is that this is a form of bias I have internalized as a result of the realm of media discourse in which I grew up in, one populated by cishet white men who complained about the existence of people of color as “forced diversity”. It does not slip my mind, either, that her qualifiers are the things that set her apart from the norm - I subconsciously failed to mention, for example, her sexuality, or the fact that she is able bodied. Would a character who is white have less qualifiers, and justify more additional qualities elsewhere? Though I am aware of how problematic it is to demand that a minority character justify their existence, I cannot help but find myself discomforted by a character who simply exists this way - and even in this version, her race is made a major aspect of her character, one that must be explored to be justified as a quality of note. Perhaps it is simply because exploration and discovery of one’s gender identity is so tied up with the idea of transness, that it can’t not be a part of a character’s “origin story”, in my mind.

I share this conflict because I believe it is one which other writers face as well, and one which I believe that we, as writers, need to interrogate. I do not believe that it is wrong to want to explore characters through allegories, or in stories where character qualities are inherently tied to their minority identity. However, I feel it’s necessary to take stock of one’s feelings on race, gender, sexuality, and other aspects of that ilk, because we must understand where our instincts and discomforts about exploring these topics come from. Personally, I feel I’m starved for transgender narratives in the media, and so I can’t deny a desire to see them explored further. However, I also think we should welcome and encourage these sorts of characters as background representation - offhand comments about a character’s transition, or even just an ID card with inconsistent information. It is valuable to see minority characters as people who exist in the world without needing to be defined by their identity, because it reduces the kinds of narratives we can explore in characters who look, act, or feel like us. When characters happen to be trans, rather than exist to be a trans narrative, we can explore trans characters who are instead defined by other aspects of their lives. When characters happen to be non-white, rather than exist to serve a narrative about what it’s like to not be white, we can see non-white characters being superheroes, fantasy heroes, scientists, or anything else.

If you walk away having read this post with one thing in your head, let it be this - representation works best, means the most, when it reaches the point where we don’t think about it. When these characters simply exist, to the point where we no longer sit up and instinctively message our friends about how trans-coded an alien character is, about how excited we are to see an Indian character in a video game, that is what I would define as a victory. I, for one, am fond of my trans half-elf, and I’ll be keeping her in her original iteration. But she will not be the only trans character in the story in which she exists.

How Dungeons and Dragons 5e Removing 'Evil Races' May Change the Game https://gamerant.com/dungeons-dragons-dnd-5e-evil-races-changes/

2. Tiefling | Forgotten Realms Wiki https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Tiefling

#dnd #dnd character #writing #creative writing #transfem #cw sa #cw sa mention

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blackswaneuroparedux · 4 years ago

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At the end of a pleasant evening Joseph offered to walk Jean home; she tucked her copy of Spengler under one arm as they set out. Jean was staying with an aunt who lived on Gay Street, just around the corner from the Greenwich Village apartment the Campbells would occupy for so many years. “We got to Union Square Park on Fourteenth Street and it started to rain,” Jean remembered. “Neither of us had a raincoat. Joe took off his coat, and I thought, ‘how gallant.’ But he said urgently, ‘Give me the book,’ and he quickly tucked it under his jacket. I knew then what I was in for.

- Stephen and Robin Larsen, A Fire in the Mind: The Life of Joseph Campbell

I hadn’t realised that the Larsens were longtime friends and students of the inconic writer, Joseph Campbell (1904-87). I was given this book as a farewell present from a colleague to read on the long plane ride back to Europe. So I was curious to try and read it in one sitting.

It was an authorised biography of a remarkable man. Reading his personal journal entries and his prolific and insightful letters as he struggled to discover and follow his bliss should provide a rich context and understanding for his huge body of work. Campbell’s love of research, learning, and extensive study was known to be mindboggling. He learned new languages and dived deep into local cultures and traditions as he lived, traveled, and studied in Europe, India, Japan, and other countries in the early to mid-20th century, to become the 20th Century’s lezding expositer of world myths.

Despite having full access to Campbell’s papers this book turned out to be a pretty hard slog to read. I felt let down by how plodding the prose was and how dulled any critical examination of Campbell’s undoubtedly exciting life. This biography on Joe Campbell is strongest when talking about his childhood and formative years while in his 20's and early thirties. The authors were friends with Campbell and there is certainly a change in tone when the book enters the portion of his life in which the authors knew him.

Plodding resolutely and diligently through Campbell's life, the authors begin with the early experiences that provided the impetus for their subject's research. Fascinated by Native Americans as a youth, Campbell, born in N.Y.C., absorbed their wood-lore and mythology through voracious reading and the guidance of an old naturalist neighbor. Early trips to the West Coast and Europe, plus later sojourns as a young scholar in Paris, Munich, and other cultural centers made Campbell a citizen of the world, and also brought chance meetings with other travellers who would become valued friends - the Indian mystic Krishnamurti among them. Another friendship led to John Steinbeck, Ed Ricketts, and their circle, while Campbell's studies eventually brought him, in 1934, to a teaching career at Sarah Lawrence, where he met future wife Jean Erdman, a student. By all acounts they had a happy marriage even if they had no children.

Joseph Campbell wrote and edited dozens of books on comparative mythology and religion. His books and thousands of lectures focused on finding the “monomyth” and core spiritual and psychological themes that all societies for thousands of years have used to deal with the challenges of life and find successful passage through life’s stages. George Lucas was highly influenced by Campbell’s classic 1949 book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces when he wrote and produced his blockbuster Star Wars movie.

Campbell often summarised his core philosophy with advice to “follow your bliss.” He doesn’t mean living a hedonistic life of pleasure seeking. Following our bliss is answering the call to adventure by embarking on our “hero’s journey” searching for our “holy grail” - finding our deep personal meaning and living an authentic life true to our values and reason for being. The great trap is following someone else’s path or what parents, friends, spouses, institutions, or society calls success.

#larsen #quote #literature #book #reading #joseph campbell #myth #biography #history #culture

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neocatharsis · 4 years ago

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NCT’s Mark Lee on Dreams, Instagram Poetry, and Growing Up

Mark has a lot going on — but he’s making time for poetry, introspection, and, of course, the members of NCT Dream. - Vivien Wu

“I’ve been thinking about dreams a lot these days!” Mark Lee exclaims over Zoom from SM Entertainment’s Seoul headquarters.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

NCT Dream’s original teenage concept meant that members were supposed to “graduate” when they came of age, and as the oldest, Mark was the first to leave the group at the end of 2018. Having grown attached, however, fans were devastated at his departure; after a year of separation, SM announced that the graduation system would be scrapped and that he would rejoin the group. Their new album, Hot Sauce, is the first with Mark in over two years. As fellow member Haechan declared in an interview with Teen Vogue earlier this week, “Mark [is] very special. NCT Dream means Mark.”

But before the rapper led NCT Dream, and before he joined NCT U and NCT 127 and SuperM — the man is in high demand — Mark’s childhood dream was writing. He grew up in Toronto, and through doing school projects and essays quickly discovered that he had a natural way with words. Inspired by Percy Jackson author Rick Riordan, Harry Potter, and James Patterson, Mark dreamt of becoming an author, long before he was recruited by SM at a global audition in Canada in 2012. “When I was in school, I was always the kind of guy who would write more than expected, and that became a thing that clicked for me,” he says. “I was like, ‘Maybe it’s something that I naturally do?’ But then that kind of turned into rap writing too, so I guess they kind of clicked together.” It explains his prolific career as a lyricist; since debuting, he’s amassed over 30 songwriting credits across his various groups, contributing to songs as iconic as NCT U’s “Boss,” NCT 127’s “Cherry Bomb,” and NCT Dream’s “Chewing Gum.”

Even with such an extensive body of work, however, penning lyrics hasn’t satiated his appetite for literary expression. In an interview with Japanese magazine Men’s Non-No, he revealed that he still hopes one day to write a book, whether that be a novel, autobiography, or something more philosophical.

In the meantime, he’s taken to writing what are basically short poems on his Instagram, which he created just a few months ago. He’s gathered over 4.5 million followers since then, but having such a large audience hasn’t deterred him from being endearingly vulnerable with the way he writes. When I refer to them as poems, he laughs and looks embarrassed, but when I ask him to tell me the stories behind them, he’s enthusiastic again. They’re short, but offer brief glimpses into Mark the writer — sharp, inquisitive, and thoughtful. As pieces of literature, they’re a little rough around the edges, but the sincerity he’s known for shines through, illuminating the introspective, philosophical side that may not be so obvious in person.

His first poem, loosely titled “Late Night Scribbling,” put into words his musings about sleep, thoughts, feelings, and writing. It meanders from topic to topic, hovering between feelings of hope and hopelessness, before ending with a comically awkward “haha.”

“I actually wrote that by imagining how I wanted to organize my Instagram page,” he explains. “I was thinking of creating an Instagram, then I realized that, well, I’m not really a picture kind of guy, I’m not really a travelling kind of guy… I kind of studied who I am first, and I [asked myself], ‘What’s something that I can really portray in an intimate way?’ and it turned out to be writing.”

“I started to brainstorm what kind of topics I could write about, and then from there on, I started to write a little each and every night, and that turned into Late Night Scribbling,” he continues. “That kind of gave me courage to start Instagram in the first place, that piece of writing.”

Two weeks later, he followed it up with “Black Socks,” a whimsical ode to, well, black socks — complete with accompanying photos of him wearing said socks. Immediately, it feels more confident and cohesive than its predecessor. Using the neat and tidy look of black socks as a metaphor, he describes his own mindset for living life: “Pleasure from perfect alignment; That also goes for my ability to be parallel with my thoughts and actions; I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep it consistent even when forgotten like a working habit.”

Comments on the posts praise his writing and encourage him to continue sharing these small pieces of himself. On the stage, Mark takes on a confident, larger-than-life persona, while in vlogs and spoken interviews, he’s a bubbly character full of laughter and boyish charm. What the poems show is that, beneath these outer appearances, there’s another layer of complexity that is yet to be fully explored, and it’s not surprising that fans want to know more.

His day job as a K-pop idol doesn’t allow a lot of time for hobbies, though, and he confesses to not having written much lately. Despite that, he’s determined to stay in the industry for as long as possible. “Longevity is something that I’ve always been aiming for,” he says. “I’m willing to do this for a long time, and that requires a lot of work. I’m willing to take that as a challenge and I’m trying to stay as long as I can, but with quality.”

That focus on quality informs his preparations for the upcoming promotions with NCT Dream. In both their fictional world and ours, NCT Dream are a central component of NCT by virtue of their unique focus on growth — the seven members were aged between 14 and 17 when the group first debuted in 2016. Fast-forward five years, and the members are now 19 to 21, having reached a milestone in January when the youngest, Jisung, finally became a legal adult in Korea. When asked if he feels like an adult yet, though, Mark gives an extremely relatable answer with zero hesitation.

“I still feel like I’m in middle school, I’m gonna be totally honest. I swear to God, I feel like I’m… All right, I’ll put it up — I feel like I’m in high school!” He laughs. “I even had this talk with Jisung, ‘cos he’s the latest that turned into an adult. He said that he still feels like he’s a student, he doesn’t feel like he’s 20 [19 in international age] right now.”

It’s been a long time since all seven Dream members — Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung — have released an album together, and as the first full-length album since their debut, the fan anticipation is palpably intense. Mark himself has mentioned in various vlogs how important he believes this comeback to be, and that conviction becomes obvious whenever he talks about it.

“We had a talk all together, the seven of us, without any cameras or anything. I brought all the guys together and we talked before the whole momentum started, and I said that I’m willing to put my everything on this one. Like, I always had, but I feel like… the whole universe, or like— ” He pauses, trying to figure out how to articulate himself, and his next line is the most emphatic of our whole conversation. “There are things that are out of our control, but we can see and feel when the pieces match together sometimes, and I feel like this specific moment, this particular album, kind of had those essential parts.”

He’s thinking about all of the context surrounding this comeback: the group’s coming of age, the reunion of all seven members, the scale of the album, the fact that Jisung has only just recovered from a leg injury that meant he couldn’t dance for months — even the fact that 2020 was, against all odds, the best year yet for NCT, with release after release bringing them unprecedented success and momentum.

“I felt that coming and I explained all of that [to the group],” he continues. “This whole period of time has a lot of meaning to it, and we’re not taking that for granted, we’re working hard.” With everything that’s happened, Hot Sauce is a historic moment for NCT Dream, and that’s been reflected in their numbers — the album clocked over 1.7 million pre-orders, obliterating their previous record of 500,000 for last year’s EP, Reload.

Their familial bond and the success that has come with it is the culmination of years spent living, working, and growing up together. The members have collectively missed out on key experiences that most teenagers might take for granted, distanced as they are from normal life, and the group also benefits from an unusually loose adherence to traditional Korean age hierarchy. The result is a brotherhood that goes beyond just being colleagues. “What we have is pretty intimate, and it’s also genuine,” Mark says.

About his role, he is matter of fact. “I’m by far the most easily approachable punching bag for the team. I am not… complaining…” He laughs. “But all jokes aside, I feel like my role for this team… Yes, I am the oldest and I am the leader but I’m also… In Korea, in the culture, age is very important, but we’ve come so far that all those borders kind of just vanished and we’re all pretty much friends, and I guess I’m just a friend of theirs too.”

It’s true that, despite being the leader, his friendly personality and endearingly awkward mannerisms mean that he commands about as much authority as a small puppy. Instead, much like a puppy, he is showered with love and affection (fellow member Chenle refers to Mark as his son and his actual puppy Daegal as Mark’s little sister), but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a dependable leader figure. The opposite is true — in Renjun’s words, Mark’s presence unites the group in a way that makes him irreplaceable.

And while this may be the fifth year since their debut, in the grand scheme of things, the members of NCT Dream are still very, very young — by most standards, they would still be considered to have their entire careers ahead of them. Growth has brought them here, but where does Mark think it will take them in the future?

“Growing just never stops for us, I can see us growing continuously, endlessly,” he replies. “What the future holds is something that we will never know, but we always do try to prepare during the present, and so with whatever time we have currently and with whatever album, or whatever stage, or whatever piece of music it may be, we’re willing to make sure that we have the next one coming too.”

A final thought. “I’m glad that we’re striving for that, ‘cos we started off as…” Mark shakes his head, “…as babies.”

#nct #nct dream #Mark #nct 127

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applesharonfiction · 3 years ago

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Inspired by another writer friend to do this so let’s go 2021 wrap-up! Idk if this is even how you’re supposed to do this because I’m still a dumbass about Tumblr etiquette lmao.

Something I learned about myself as a creator: I can be really prolific when inspired. I think I already knew this about myself but given how much I wrote during breaks from work, it was reiterated to me these past few months.

Piece of media that inspired me the most: I feel like i have to say Arcane here since it sent me spiralling into Jayvik hell.

Something new: Writing more in the present tense. Previously I had been very hesitant to do this, but I think it’s worked out well (for the most part).

Fic that challenged me the most: Heralds of Tomorrow. Trying to keep characters and events as consistent as possible while explaining motivations was (and still is) very difficult. Additionally, making actions/reactions different in later parts of the fic than earlier parts given how Jayce and Viktor change as people while not dipping into OOC territory takes a lot of effort and I still don’t think I’ve been wholly successful.

Put off finishing: The City Lights. I love writing this fic so much despite how little attention it gets and yet I’m really stuck on how to get from the point I’m at now to the point where I want them to go. Runner-up would be Tinker, Planner, Soldier, Spy for similar reasons.

Easiest to write: Meditations in an Emergency. This was an immediate reaction to the events of Arcane Act 2 and it’s not my best fic but it’s definitely an outpouring of emotions after watching. Runner-up is The Man I Held as Half-Divine.

Happiest to work on: Night and Day. This is a rarepair (Wedge/Biggs from FFVIIR) and my least-popular fic but I love it so much. Runner-up: Vitya. I love the idea of embarrassed Viktor asking Jayce to call him by his main diminutive and all of the miscommunication that ensues.

Creative resolutions: Give myself more time between writing and posting. Remember that everything is going to seem bad initially and keep writing anyway.

#arcane fanfic #ffvii fanfiction #ffviir #arcane #jayvik #Reeve Tuesti #ficwip

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frazzledsoul · 4 years ago

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So lately I've been thinking more and more about getting into the Gilmore Girls fandom again, which is cute, because the fandom is nonexistent, pretty much (even though the show is actually pretty popular on Netflix even all these years later) and I kind of wanted to talk about how I fell out with it.

I updated a story this week I had not touched for a year. It's my monstrous fic about Jess being Rory's baby daddy and it's 26 chapters so far and I kind of feel it went off the rails about seven or eight chapters ago but Lit fans seem to like it. Literati is not really my ship: I love them, but I also love Rory with Logan and I have written for both and see the merit in both ships. So I'm emotionally detached from it to a certain extent which is not the case with Luke/Lorelai. And I did not really get along or agree with what I thought the "official" opinions were from a lot of L/L fic authors that the fandom as a whole was encouraged to have.

The fact that I no longer talk to a lot of those authors/fans is partially (okay, mostly) my fault. There were a lot of cultural/political/lifestyle differences that couldn't be reconciled, but also a really wide gulf in fandom opinions that couldn't be reconciled, either. The fact that I was not a nice person about certain things last summer didn't help. I've blocked people on here about stuff I now consider petty and have retracted it but basically....I think sometimes online friendships need to stay in certain places and not be placed in toxic environments like Twitter and Discord where things can easily get out of hand. But when you're on a rage-blocking spree it can be hard to talk yourself down from it.

I guess the point I want to make here is that when the show was going on it had a considerable fanbase that was somewhat morally/culturally conservative. I don't think actual politics here is the issue (ASP was pretty clear about where she stood on that one) but if you were uncomfortable with Lorelai sleeping with Christopher while he had a girlfriend and never acknowledging that what she did was wrong and stupid it was okay to say that. If you didn't think it was okay for Rory to be involved with Dean while he was technically married to Lindsay it was okay to say that (not an opinion I share, but it was out there). If Lorelai sleeping with Christopher was a complete deal-breaker for you and you felt you couldn't sympathize or like her anymore after that and that what she did couldn't be justified, it was okay to say that. I feel that in 2016 with certain L/L fans and fic writers dominating the conversation, it wasn't okay anymore to express those types of opinions. Lorelai sleeping with Christopher is just a stupid thing Luke has to get over while we obsess over and over about how Luke failed Lorelai by not giving her the perfect wedding she wanted. It was perfectly okay for her to shove that knife in as far as she could if that's what she needed to do to feel that things were "over".

At the same time, the dominant L/L opinion that we were all encouraged to have was....intensely traditional in places. We were encouraged to believe that Lorelai's need to get married outweighed every other consideration, moral or otherwise, that marriage was going to immediately solve her and Luke's problems even though eloping ASAP would solve virtually none of them, and that Luke once again failed Lorelai by never proposing in the years between the OG series and AYITL despite the fact that it's explicitly stated several times throughout the revival that she did not want that. The dominant opinion here neither respects fidelity or has any room for a nontraditional arrangement, which is an odd combination to have.

There were other issues here, such as the time three popular fanfic writers decided to write stories one after the other about how Luke wearing jeans to dinner at Emily's did not mean he did not have any money and how they had to disabuse Emily of that notion right away because....how dare Luke actually be a person who could not afford nice dress pants. Being poor isn't a moral failure, people, and neither is wearing jeans to dinner. And yeah, fic writers can write anything they want and if I don't like it I don't have to read it and blah blah blah, but I think it's just another example of the "fandom" kind of laying out what opinions one was and was not allowed to have and how one often felt like an outsider for liking Luke *because* he was a redneck.

The thing is that when I go back and read older stories written by fans who were watching the show while it was airing or even fans who write for multiple ships I feel they...understand it more? The older stories understand why Lorelai's actions were so devastating and felt like such a betrayal. There's a writer who wrote in both time periods who has a story where it's explicitly stated that whether Lorelai was technically cheating or not doesn't matter, because it was still a horrible thing to do and she knows it and she's sorry. I honestly never felt as vindicated and validated as I did when I read that take on it. I feel this is S7's view on the situation. It's not like Lorelai tries to argue the point or anything: she knows pretty much right off that it was horrible. Yet the "modern" writers and fans seem to believe that Luke expressing any anger, even temporarily, is worse than what she did. And I feel intensely uncomfortable in a fandom where that is the dominant opinion.

Most of this isn't found in the fics themselves, for the most part, but in the publicly expressed opinions of the writers. And I feel this is a problem, in fandoms: you have your beloved fic writers and your thought leaders and they control the conversation and no one is really allowed to challenge them. Which is kind of why I feel fandoms in and of themselves are toxic: it's unhealthy to let only a few people decide what can and cannot be accepted. Sometimes it's better to let fics stay on the page and not know too much of what the writer's fandom opinions are....or at least, not to the point where it is considered the *only* opinion.

I just have one final thing to say, which is that I feel having the dissenting opinion that cheating is bad and not getting married is not a tragedy if you do not want to do it is something I feel has come back on me when I tried to write my take on L/L: I have a long, angsty story that I needed to write to get it out of me and let Luke say the things he needed to say about what had happened. I went round and round with some of these established writers in the reviews, because there were some very popular and influential fic writers who did *not* like my take on the subject. So there's some pretty solid evidence beyond my feeling that only certain takes on this ship were allowed other than my own insecurity. I feel all of this is unnecessary, and those who sympathized more with Luke than Lorelai should have a space to say why they feel these things.

But any rate, most of this is over now. The only stories really being written are AUs these days (the most prolific L/L writer working now is someone who never watched the revival and whose stories definitely have a more old skool take on things as far as the moral issues go) so all of the stuff in the past that we fought over doesn't matter.

But in case anyone cares....I'm probably updating that angsty fic next week. And it's going to have Jess in it. And he might be a (temporary) manwhore. So I'm sure I'll get some of those reviews again.

#luke x lorelai #meta #gilmore girls #honestly i still appreciate many fics from the people i disagreed with #but i wish there had been more support for my pov

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punkrockbuttrfly · 4 years ago

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So I got tagged by @electrick-indigo to answer some questions about the fanfics I write

How many works do you have on AO3? 68. Most of those are things I write during Fictober challenges, so I’ll need to write something before October this year so I can have it be a nice number for a while

What’s your total AO3 word count? 152,901

What fandoms have you written for? Doctor Who, Classic, New and Big Finish (including Gallifrey and Bernice Summerfield), Kingdom Hearts, Power Rangers (show and comics), Star Wars, Metal Gear, Red Dwarf, The Mechanisms, Among Us, Undertale, and Untitled Goose Game. Most of those fandoms I’ve only written one or two fics for, most of them are Doctor Who related and also that one anonymous fic we don’t talk about but if you’ve read it you Know

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Somehow Untitled Goose God is my most popular (for Untitled Goose Game, obvs) despite it being probably my shortest piece written in like 20 minutes inspired by a piece of friend art. After that is Revelation of the Laundry (New Who), The Standards of Trust (Star Wars, probably ongoing assuming I ever finish it), Time and Space to Study (New Who) and finally The Sevateem’s New War Cry (Gallifrey).

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to, because I thrive on validation and am desperate for people to prop up my considerable ego. I like it when people tell me what they enjoyed about my story, and also half the time inspire an even better idea that I can write later. I’m really nothing without an audience to crib jokes from.

What is the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Honestly I can think of a few but the one that I’m going to promote is actually my most recent fic, Who commands, a Toy obeys (Doctor Who, The Mechanisms) where the Twelfth Doctor meets the Mechs’ own Toy Soldier and ends up having yet another emotional crisis, as 12 tends to do a lot.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written? Well I did just talk about my Doctor Who/Mechanisms crossover, but I’ve also written a couple more. I wrote a Gallifrey/Red Dwarf one and a Power Rangers Time Force/Doctor Who one and that’s the extent of my crossovers, though I’m not opposed to writing more.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not really. I’ve had a few people comment to say they disliked an integral part of the story and then say nothing else, but I don’t think that qualifies as hate. Though tbh if they did I’d just laugh, like, how do you not have anything better to do? I know my writing isn’t good, that’s why I’m writing fanfic for fun to get better at it so that eventually I might be able to be good at writing.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not so far, though I’m not opposed to the concept. I just wouldn’t really know where to start.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, and I doubt I will, although again if it did happen I’d just laugh. Like, of all the wonderful creators you could be stealing from, you picked me? Surely you must have better taste.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet. I’d like to, mostly because in theory it will get me to stop procrastinating and do a thing, and also I’d love to develop a concept with someone else with a different perspective and ideas. In theory I’m meant to be planning a co-written fic with someone, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut spoons are in very short supply and it’s sort of not gotten off the ground yet (sorry!)

What’s your all-time favourite ship? I don’t do favourites really, and half of my “favourite” ships are canon anyway and I haven’t written much or anything for that ship. Based on the shipfics I have written probably my most prolific one is either Narvin/Leela or Liv Chenka/Helen Sinclair (which is now definitely not canon as of Stranded).

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Considering that The Standards of Trust (linked above) is supposed to be a series of stories across Ahsoka’s life but I’m taken a huge amount of time to watch The Clone Wars already and also I refuse to watch her solo spinoff series because of bullshit casting decisions, I don’t think I’ll ever “finish” it.

What are your writing strengths? I have absolutely no idea. Why do you people read my writing? This isn’t even self-deprecating, I genuinely want to know what y’all like about my writing because I have no idea.

What are your writing weaknesses? Second verse, same as the first. But also my spoons deficit and tendency to procrastinate hard, but that’s hardly exclusive to me, that’s something most writers struggle with.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Never done it, probably won’t do it in any substantial capacity. I’ve tried learning languages before and I’m spectacularly bad at it, so I’ll most likely never have the proficiency to do it well enough to confidently publish something like that.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Doctor Who. Also Gallifrey. The Macqueen Master battled Narvin. The Resurrection of Fear was the first fanfic I ever wrote after not having applied myself to writing fiction for a very long time beyond a couple of drabbles as a teenager, so it’s not very good, but hopefully it can serve as a demonstration of progression.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Beyond the Stars, the followup to the Beyond the Grid arc of the Boom Studios Power Rangers comics that I wanted so much that I decided to write it myself, enough that hopefully soon I’ll get back to actually writing it, but this is one WIP I am determined to finish. By the end it’s going to be novel-length, and while it’s based on a non-original IP, it’s meant to be standalone enough that hopefully anyone can read it without needing context. Besides, do you need more context than “gay superhero found family space opera”?

Tagging @being-of-rain, @alison-is-a-lesbian, and @floptopus

#I needed to start promoting my fanfics on my tumblr anyway so thanks Rae!

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recentanimenews · 4 years ago

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FEATURE: The 6 Best Books On The History Of Manga And Anime

Say you’re a fan of anime and manga who’s looking to learn more about history or craft. Where do you begin? There’s whatever insight you can glean from the work itself, of course. There’s also a good amount of information available online, from animation blogs to translated manga interviews to personal pieces. But when all else fails, turn to the library. Here are some excellent nonfiction books on the manga and anime industry that I’d recommend to just about anybody. I’ve also read at least sections of every book on this list, so you have my guarantee of their quality!

Image via Penguin Random House

Pure Invention: How Japan's Pop Culture Conquered the World reaches beyond manga and anime to encompass Japanese pop culture post World War II. But there are plenty of stories in here that fans of anime and manga might find fascinating:

The toy car that inspired top developers at Nintendo

How the karaoke machine led directly to idol culture, as music producers sought to produce music that ordinary people could sing

The manga-obsessed student radicals of the 1960s, many of whom came to work on later anime projects like Mobile Suit Gundam

Author Matt Alt’s choice of interviewees and attention to detail marks Pure Invention as one of the best of its kind. If you’re a curious reader looking for an accessible (and recent!) popular history, I highly recommend this book.

Image via Bloomsbury.com

For fans abroad, the history of anime begins with the airing of Osamu Tezuka’s Astro Boy on Japanese television. But this wasn’t enough for Jonathan Clements, a long-time anime and manga scholar who continues to blog on Schoolgirl Milky Crisis. His academic text Anime: A History begins in the 1910s, 50 years before the airing of Astro Boy, in fact, Astro Boy only appears halfway through the book! Clements is concerned not just with the medium of anime itself, but the cultural traditions, historical events, and individual people that brought it into existence.

One of the greatest obstacles standing in the way of English-speakers seeking to understand the history of Japanese animation — besides, as Clements notes, the haphazard nature of even those resources available in Japanese — is the language barrier. Online writers at sites such as Sakugablog have done fantastic work in making some of this information accessible, but those same writers would be the first to acknowledge there’s still plenty we don’t know. Anime: A History synthesizes countless Japanese-language source texts and interviews about the history of animation, yet Clements is careful to acknowledge that the testimony of individual actors within the industry must be weighed against both their own agenda and the words of others. While Anime: A History would be a valuable text if it was nothing more than a synthesis, Clements’ ambition to build a coherent history of Japanese animation from a production standpoint that thoroughly examines its subject matter and context from all angles is what makes it essential.

Image via Stone Bridge Press

Jonathan Clements collaborated with equally prestigious anime and manga scholar Helen McCarthy to produce The Anime Encyclopedia, whose third edition was published in 2015. It’s an enormous text (over a thousand pages long!) that covers everything from summaries and critical appraisals of popular titles to specific themes and tropes to nuggets of cultural history and influence. If I were to criticize this project, I would say that recent anime writing outside the United States exposes The Anime Encyclopedia’s biases; for instance, the magical girl series Ojamajo Doremi only merits a few paragraphs despite its status as a beloved children's series in Japan. Keeping that in mind, it’s an impressive resource that is great fun to browse (and to disagree with)!

Image via j-novel club

Mari Okada is one of the most prolific and influential anime writers of the past decade. She’s worked on adaptations, original projects like Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day and KIZNAIVER, and even directed her own films. In her memoir, From Truant to Anime Screenwriter, Okada frankly discusses her personal struggles: her fraught relationship with her mother, her years as a young student when she couldn’t bring herself to attend class, and the process by which she gathered her courage to touch upon her personal experiences in her work. There are chapters of this book that wouldn’t be out of place in an Okada-written drama, which I suppose is the point.

Okada’s memoir is in part a testament to her work ethic and her willingness to tackle any challenge no matter how difficult or annoying it is. But it’s also a rosetta stone for her work: not just in how it overlaps with her personal life, but in its emphasis on the importance of communication despite how difficult it can be to voice even simple feelings. Whether you’re a fan of Okada or not, I found this to be a great resource for writers nervous of the fraught boundary between fiction and personal experience or for readers who want to know what makes Okada’s work so distinct.

Image via Stone Bridge Press

Frederik Schodt is one of manga criticism’s greatest elder statesmen. His book Manga! Manga! put him on the map, not only for its editorial content but also for its translated excerpts of Japanese comics — including what would be, for years, the only available English chapter of Rose of Versailles! Yet that book was published in 1983 and sections can’t help but read as dated now. So I’m recommending the sequel here, 1996’s Dreamland Japan.

Like its predecessor, much of Dreamland Japan is devoted to detailing Schodt’s theories as to what manga is and how it works. But the sections of the book I personally find most valuable are the profiles where Schodt writes at length about specific manga artists he either personally enjoys or believes to embody a specific genre unique to manga. The freakish kitsch of Suehiro Maruo; Ryoko Yamagishi’s historical epic Hi Izuru Tokoro no Tenshi (Emperor of the Land of the Rising Sun); and alternative artists like Kazuichi Hanawa and Shungicu Uchida. These chapters stand as a stark reminder that despite the recent popularity of manga in the United States, many fantastic comics remain completely unknown to most English-speaking audiences.

Image via ComiPress

Finally, there’s Udagawa Takeo’s Manga Zombie! Translated into English by John Gallagher, it’s an eccentric and rewarding text that profiles several avant-garde manga artists from the ‘60s and ‘70s. Udagawa strongly dislikes the market-driven manga hits that would go on to rule the world from the pages of Shonen Jump and fights instead for the careers of authors whose work was published in the pages of pornographic magazines as often as they were in Jump or the alternative magazine Garo. Most of these authors have never been published in English, whether officially or through illicit means like scanlations. If not for the translation of Manga Zombie — or for Udagawa’s further works of manga scholarship — the artists he writes about might vanish into history without leaving a trace.

The comics detailed in Manga Zombie can be grotesque, ranging from the “fleshbomb style” of artists like Masaru Sakaki to prescient weirdos like George Takiyama. Some might be repelled by the content here; personally, I’m disappointed by the lack of female comics artists featured, although Udagawa (who mentions the girls comic pioneers the 49ers in the foreword to his book) is certainly aware of them. But I love reading folks talking about their favorite work that I’ve never heard about, and Udagawa makes for an idiosyncratic tour guide to some truly unique material. For those willing to brave the world of Japanese exploitation comics, Manga Zombie is a hidden gem.

What’s your favorite text about manga or anime? Is there an interview you consider especially interesting? Let us know in the comments!

Adam W is a Features Writer at Crunchyroll. When he isn't reading weird fantasy novels and horror fiction, he sporadically contributes with a loose coalition of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? You can find him on Twitter at: @wendeego

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a feature, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Adam Wescott

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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naviarlab · 1 year ago

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naviarhaiku523 – My eyes lift to see

This is a haiku taken from Kusamakura (or The Three-Cornered World), a novel by Natsume Soseki I'm currently reading.

A book that transcends the plot development of "standard" Western literature, this is a book about the nature of art and beauty, filled with lyrical beauty and internal monologues on what it means to be an artist.

To give you an idea, here's how the book starts:

“If you work by reason, you grow rough-edged; if you choose to dip your oar into sentiment’s stream, it will sweep you away. Demanding your own way only serves to constrain you. However you look at it, the human world is not an easy place to live. And when its difficulties intensify, you find yourself longing to leave that world and dwell in some easier one—and then, when you understand at last that difficulties will dog you wherever you may live, this is when poetry and art are born.”

One of the most influential modern Japanese writers, Natsume Soseki’s literary career started in 1903, with a series of haiku and renga published on various literary magazines.

Haiku by Natsume Soseki

Picture by Henry & Co.

Join The Naviar Haiku Music Challenge

You have seven days from the posting of this haiku to submit your track. For information on how to make a submission, visit the Naviar Haiku Music Challenge page.

Submission deadline: 17th January 2024

#naviar #haiku #micropoetry #poetry #ambient #electronic #poem #haiku of the day #electronic music #experimental #senryu

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kiingocreative · 4 years ago

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Today's article was written by one of Kiingo's writers, Lucie Ataya (@lucieataya)

Ready to edit, format, or publish your book? We offer editing and coaching services! Send a DM or go to https://kiingo.co/services

For Heather Grace Stewart, writing has always been a long-standing love affair. She’s been ‘writing poems and stories since [she] could write’, she tells me, somewhere around the age of five. A lot has changed since then, but one thing that’s stayed, of her own admission, is her tendency to ‘use self-deprecating humour, as do [her] characters in [her]novels’. One of her early poems, she recollects, was about falling down a lot whilst skating: ‘It opened, ‘I went ahhh! when I fell down!’and it was published in our school’s newsletter’. A sterling start to what would turn out to be a sterling writing career.

Fast forward many years, Heather still skates, and she’s had a fascinating journey. Originally trained as a journalist, she spent some time as a writer and editor for national magazines, until she eventually set off on her own, starting her writing and editing business. She later left journalism aside and moved into writing fiction full-time but she ‘still loves to blend the two interests’. In fact, she explains, ‘all of [her]novels and screenplays are inspired by headline news stories, or stories that went viral and also ended up in newspapers’.

One thing that caught my attention when looking into Heather’s story, is that she started out traditionally published, but then decided to switch and self-publish. In a community where landing a traditional publishing deal often seems like the holy grail, I was curious to hear what motivated her decision.

Her first novel Strangely, Incredibly Good was originally published by a small Canadian publisher, and she enjoyed her experience of working with them. When they branched out into offering broader Author Services however, Heather was seduced by the flexibility of making her own publishing decisions… and the more than tempting idea of getting her book rights back. When her sequel made it on the Canadian and UK bestseller in the Time Travel Romance category, it was all the encouragement she needed to keep self-publishing.

When I ask her how she’s found the process, she answers ‘[she] loves so much about self-publishing’, because ‘[she] gets to be as creative as [she] wants and work at [her] own pace, and [she] can also set up [her] own book discounts and do [her] own marketing’. As someone who’s found the road to self-publication and self-promotion a bit of a rollercoaster, I find Heather’s view refreshing. For her, it’s a lot about perceptions: ‘I don’t like the stigma that’s still attached to (self-publishing), but I’m trying to encourage the writers that I coach to always hire professional editors and cover designers so that they produce quality product. The more self-publishers who put out work that’s as professional as traditionally published books, the less of a stigma we’ll have’. I couldn’t agree more.

So, if it’s not the pitfalls of self-publishing that she finds tricky, what has been the most challenging part of her journey? ‘The writing isn’t hard for me anymore’, she says, which in itself is impressive, ‘it’s deciding what story to move forward on’. She admits she has several works in progress she’s working on—four unfinished novels and a screenplay she’s adapting into a book. Talk about prolific writing! But to Heather, it’s less about quantity, and all about quality: ‘I only want to put out my best work, so I’m publishing less work and taking my time on it’. I can’t help but admire that.

Though she enjoys the freedom of doing her own marketing, she also confesses that she finds advertising challenging, describing it as a bit of a ‘chore’ she wishes she didn’t have to do. This, despite taking relevant courses to improve her skills over the years. It requires daily monitoring, ‘even on vacation’, she adds.

I suspect that balancing all this requires organisation, and I’m keen to hear about the routines and rituals she has to keep everything on track. Her days include morning writing sessions, starting early and going until midday; a break for lunch and her coaching sessions in the afternoon, followed by time set aside to work on marketing. It’s quite the schedule, but you only have to look at her results to see how well it works. And that’s not to say she doesn’t give herself time and space when she needs it. In the summer for instance, she ‘always works reduced hours’ to make the most of the gorgeous weather. That’s when you can find her ‘going for a skate or do a yoga flow class outside before writing’. Yes, writing discipline is important, but so is self-care.

And speaking of what’s important, I had to ask Heather: amidst the great sense of balance and success she seems to have found, what’s her favourite thing about being a writer? ‘I love that I get to build new worlds all the time’, she explains, ‘and that people around the world are entertained by those worlds’. To her, it’s all about ‘making other people laugh, or cry if it’s a therapeutic cry, and helping them escape their stressful day, if only for half an hour’.

A worthy mission, especially since she’s expanding into more formats to share her stories with the world. One of her books, The Ticket, is optioned to be adapted to screen—a tremendous achievement. I wanted to know how she made that happen, and she revealed that she’d ‘written all of [her] novels with the intention of selling them as films’. It took some trial and error to make it via the book-to-film route, but she finally succeeded, and she tells me she’s ‘thrilled The Ticket now has a stronger chance of being filmed’.

Wait a second… a stronger change? Yes, she says, ‘even though the company has optioned the rights to film it, [she’s] learning that the road to production is a long and winding one!’. I didn’t know that, but I’m not surprised. Apparently, it could ‘years, even decades, before it’s made into a movie or TV series’. Far from deterring Heather from moving forward, it’s only motivated her to build a wider portfolio of books and screenplays ready for producers to look at, to improve her odds. If that’s not the way to pave your way to success, I don’t know what is!

There’s another piece that caught my eye whilst going through Heather’s website, and that’s her commitment to a cause bigger than herself: educating young girls around the world. Her passion for the topic started back when she was a journalist, when she interviewed someone who told her about their charity operating in an African Orphanage. Heather recalls: ‘I ended up donating profits from Where the Butterflies Go, my first poetry collection, to a little girl there named Mercy. Eventually, I was able to help not just her but her class in getting school supplies, pencils, workbooks, etc. She and her peers started attending school more often’.

Since then, she’s done her research on the extent of the issue, finding out how difficult it is for girls around the world to have access to education. From there, she came across ‘Because I Am A Girl’ and she’s been donating all proceeds from her poetry sales to the program for the last few years. ‘Last year, readers bought a girl a bicycle to run her own business, and we also sponsored Miriam and her community in Bolivia,’ she proudly states. An inspiring accomplishment, and one that makes me want to strive to do better in my own journey.

I can’t help but marvel at how much Heather does, I feel I have a thing or two (or ten!) to learn from her. When I ask her what’s most important to her, I love what she has to say: ‘Time’. And ‘making sure [she] uses [her] time wisely so that [she] has enough to spend with [her] loved ones’. Pretty ironic, for someone who doesn’t wear a watch and has switched off all notifications on her phone…! Or maybe not so ironic after all, because her ability to ‘lose all sense of time and just be’ is exactly what allows her to live in the moment.

She has a lot going on with her writing, but that’s not what matters most. She’s very clear on what constitutes an emergency and, more importantly, what doesn’t: ‘You or a loved one being in the hospital, that’s an emergency. But if I can’t get a paragraph right, or an ad isn’t making a profit, that’s not an emergency’. When it comes to her work, she’s learnt to trust that, with time, she’ll be able to figure out what’s not working and move on.

She actually finds that when she’s stuck with her writing, it’s often less to do with the writing itself and a lot more about something else bothering her. Her way to deal with that? Rather than pulling her hair out over it, she gives herself time and space: ‘I usually go for an inline skate, or I’ll put on a fast song and I’ll just dance it out. I also like trying a completely different art, like painting a canvas or sketching a cartoon. For some reason, doing another art form gives my writing brain a break, and the next day I’m in the mood to write again’. Another fantastic lesson on how not to lose your mind on your writing journey, I’d say.

Hearing about Heather’s experience makes me reflect on what truly lies at the heart of being a successful writer. Of course, writing skills matter, but I’m starting to feel that it’s a lot more layered than that. It takes hard work, discipline, organisation. It takes a clear vision of where you want to go. It takes compassion and generosity, active steps to give back to others through whatever success you have—big or small.

And, above all, it takes a way of living that focuses on making the most of every moment, of reminding yourself of what matters most and giving your craft the attention and space it needs without making it your everything.

That last one is a lesson Heather’s truly absorbed during the pandemic. That you can make all the plans you want but, if you don’t live in the present, you may wake up one day to find out life’s passed you by. ‘I hope I have many more new mornings to wake up to’ Heather concludes, ‘kiss my husband, feed our cat, make strong coffee, look for the cardinal at the feeder and talk to our squirrel “Friend.” Everything after that for me is largely unplanned. And that’s what makes life so frightening, exciting and beautiful all at once’.

If that’s not the biggest, more precious lesson of all, I don’t know what is.

#writingtips #screenwriting #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writers #writing #writerblr #writing advice #writing community #writing resources

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bisluthq · 4 years ago

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Hello! So, I am a two muse theory doubter (yes read realistic Kay too a couple of times). Like, I want to believe. I have even tried to force it in my mind but it doesn’t take. The reason is - TMT fails to consider the fluctuations of emotional highs, lows, love and lust over the initial 2 year period of a relationship. Like, I am a semi profesh song writer with a muse. The variety of POV I write from are extensive. Life is an emotional pendulum and our experiences make it swing. On any given day, our perspectives and emotions can complete change for a given moment towards a muse. I can love my muse for the rest of my life but hate them with the same passion on any given day, go to my piano and write it into a song and feel indifferent to it later (the good and bad end up in songs). When I listen to Rep, it’s range of intensities I easily apply to my one muse. Taylor herself saying Dress, Delicate, CIWYW & NYD her true story on the album reads like she is just pointing to her average daily experiences with 1 muse. If Delicate is Joe & Dress is Karlie - Taylor separated her finding “love amongst the chaos” into loving two people in her true story. If you actually timeline those particular songs it’s Dress (a lustful hook up), to Delicate (wanting to make it official), CIWYW (the pressure of making it official) and NYD (the challenge of commitment). Unless “Dress” leads her to “Delicate”, why include it at all in her true love story line up? Like, was it a last minute attempt to hetsplain that song years after it came out?🤷‍♀️ by her including NYD in her true love story of Rep, it ties via the ‘squeeze my hand three times in taxi’ lines to cruel summers crying in the backseat lines (which is also the circumstantial vibe of CIWYW). The backseat crying lines of Cruel Summer ties to the Cornelia Street vibe (which Taylor writes later as a reflection of the whatever happened after the Delicate moment) which ties back to Delicate via the bar lines and forward later in time to Gold Rush via the creaks / wooden in the floor lines. I mean, all this says to me there is 1 muse of her true story - which could be Joe (but that cancels out the sapphic nature of dress) or Karlie (which means this illicit affair on joshy-boy really did happen somewhere between 100 and a million times). Tbh, I tend to believe the later. So you’ll be like okay what about LSS, Invisable String then fruitcake? (Fair call future sleuth haha). Or what about babygate and joshlie marriage?! Like, wbk that affair was at least long and messy AF. Folklore and Evermore were written last year and Lover period was fairly chaotic and clunky at best (presumably because of masters heist). Like, they MUST have broken up (FG, DBATC, Daylight, The 1, Cardigan saga, TIMT, Hoax, Peace, Exile, Coney Is, Evermore, RWYLM, CP, Happiness, TTDS). Like, they all have 1 muse energy of losing someone you love through messiness (could be joe🤷‍♀️ we’ll never know for sure). But many of these songs refer to a third person being involved which screams Joshlie to me because of ivy, illicit affair, the bitterness of “The Man”. Baby, you say? Like it’s pretty simple - Karlie went back to Josh, married him and had a baby and Taylor’s like “uhh, what a fucking joke” and processed it last year through writing two albums about it all. Invisable string, LSS - like these are both songs which come from a POV of self-reflection after hope is lost. Maybe reunited after preggo-gate? Maybe consolidated love after break up into friendship aka Dorothea? WB - quite simply - WB is the model to which Taylor writes about whatever she wants to (triangulation of desire). Good for her, great writing strategy. Is it a strategy needed? Well ya, but only if it’s born of having 1 muse and a very obvious story Taylor is trying to obscure. Like, come at me sleuth cuz I reallllly want to believe in two muse story. I wouldn’t even had bothered writing this if I didn’t. What am I missing?

Hey Sim here. So Nat broke protocol and sent me this one to answer because I too am a writer and I too at one point reached that point in the lyric analysis where I literally could not fathom any timeline I was hearing that made sense due to the connections in the lyrics between Reputation and Lover. I have a whole spreadsheet called “Car Bar Roof” where I’m just trying to make sense of a series of events through lyrics alone and I nearly drove myself crazy doing it.

With that being said, I want to give a disclaimer: Nothing wrong with you interpreting things your own way! I know Nat can come off kind of brash sometimes, but both of us are always hyper-aware that we are discussing what essentially amounts to a “Taylor Swift Is Gay” conspiracy theory and because it’s a conspiracy theory and we don’t know these people, no analysis is ever going to be 100% correct. If you don’t hear two muses on Rep, that’s totally fine! I’m sure we have some Toe/Swiftwyn readers who would agree with you there!

I do want to caution against relying entirely on lyric parallels to create a timeline, however. You’re going to dig yourself into a rabbithole that’s very hard to get out of. I think a lot of people don’t realize that Taylor has been using a lot of metaphors (especially the car and the bar) her entire career. It ends up being a big stretch to assume that just because two events in two different songs both take place in a car or a bar, Taylor is talking about the exact same moments. Like, let’s be real, how many times have any of us ever been in a car? Wouldn’t it be kind of ridiculous for a critic of our work to assume everything we write involving a car is about the same specific time we were in a car?

It is also incredibly easy to construct false narratives when you rely only on song analysis. I’ll give you an example using Taylor’s first high school boyfriend, Drew. Whether you believe it or not, he’s often cited as the inspiration for Tim McGraw. The song Tim McGraw has a variety of common themes with Taylor’s other work, the main ones being summer, dancing, the moon, a little black dress, a truck, a creek/river, and going back to school. If we follow song parallel logic, I could connect Tim McGraw to folkmore songs and, because of this, could say Taylor is still dating/writing about Drew from high school.

The little black dress in Tim McGraw is also mentioned in unreleased Live for the Little Things and The Other Side of the Door. In both Tim McGraw and Live for the Little Things, Taylor mentions a black dress and dances with her lover under the moon. A summer love that ends with going back to school can also be found in August, and Cruel Summer and August are very similar songs, in that both are about a summer love that can’t last and isn’t being taken as seriously by one person as another. The Other Side of the Door is almost the exact same premise of an ex at your doorway as I Almost Do, Dark Blue Tennessee, All You Had to Do Was Stay, and exile, meaning all those songs must be connected as well. Dancing with someone in the middle of the night can also be found in Everything Has Changed, 22, and Dancing With Our Hands Tied. As a bonus, trucks and dancing are also mentioned in Champagne Problems, which connects to Gold Rush, So It Goes, and Dancing With Our Hands tied through the use of the color Gold. So It Goes also mentions wearing black and meeting someone in the middle of the night. So all those songs have to be about Drew as well.

So here’s the narrative that makes: Taylor and Drew dated over a summer then broke up when he went back to school but at some point he came back to her door and they got back together. They mostly hung out in the middle of the night, driving around and dancing. Unfortunately, when he proposed, Taylor couldn’t say yes, and literally left him stranded on the dance floor and is now #foreveralone and writing folkmore to process these events.

To be clear, I don’t actually believe any of this. I don’t think anyone else does either, but since neither Taylor nor Drew have publicly interacted in over a decade, this can be easily disproved, despite the “obvious” way the songs connect. Taylor just likes certain themes. Cars and bars. Nature. The contrast of light and dark. Sparks and fire. I guarantee if you go over her unreleased songs and first two albums with the same fine tooth comb you’ve gone over Folkmore/Lover/Reputation/1989 with, you’ll find just as many lyric parallels, and it’s not because she’s only writing about one person.

Occams Razor tells me Kaylor’s not on good terms anymore. It also tells me Karlie and Josh are actually having a child together. From the outside, it looks like things have been bad since at least the Masters Heist, if not before, and the more digging we’ve done, the more evidence we find of that. Now, you don’t have to believe that if you don’t want to! As long as you don’t go around harassing people we’ve got no beef with you. Just know you’re always going to find song parallels to back up whatever you want because Taylor’s such a prolific songwriter who loves to use the same themes again and again. That’s just deductive reasoning, baby. Thanks for the discourse though! LMK if you wanna chat song analysis sometime!

#nat talks two muse theory #sim answers anons #nat talks lyrical interpretation

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watching-pictures-move · 4 years ago

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Put On Your Raincoats #15 | Rainbows in the Dark

To the extent that a porn director crossed over to the mainstream, Gregory Dark would be it. Certainly, there have been directors who did one or two porn features early in their careers, like Abel Ferrara, William Lustig and Wes Craven, but they're known almost entirely for their mainstream work. There are also porn directors who did maybe one mainstream movie, like Gerard Damiano, but their careers were relegated to porn for the most part. Dark is the rare director who was prolific on both sides, so to speak, starting with massive hardcore hits like New Wave Hookers, moving on to directing softcore, thrillers and softcore thrillers with some regularity and eventually becoming a popular music video director. My initial plan was to explore the full gamut of Dark's career. I wanted to get a sense of each phase of his work and to see what elements of his style translated across them. Essentially I wanted to understand Dark as an auteur. But then something miraculous happened. I got lazy. (Also I had a muted reaction to some of his movies and became more interested in another director in the meantime.) So I decided to limit my exploration to a few of his early movies and call it a day.

The first one I watched was New Wave Hookers, his best known hardcore title and considered a classic in the genre. What I expected going in and what worked for me can be deduced from the title. Dark's visual style very much brings to mind the "new wave" in the title: big hair, fog machines and neon lighting, all of which are first seen in the opening credits, in which the female talent almost ritualistically present themselves to the camera. There's some stylistic precedent in the work of Rinse Dream AKA Stephen Sayadian (the artist I got more interested in as I delved into Dark's work), but Sayadian's aesthetic feels culled from the art underground. (Dark reuses a few of Sayadian's actors in some of his films.) Dark's style feels more commercial, almost packaged for MTV. (Dark intended his film as a reaction to hardcore porn features of his era, although I'd argue that his choice of camera angles still feels in line with other films of the era.) This is a movie that looks good and, thanks to some choice music courtesy of the Plugz (whose song "Electrify Me" accompanies the opening credits) and the Sockets (who provide the theme song), sounds good too.

What I gelled to much less was the sense of humour. The movie opens with two buddies played by Jamie Gillis (wearing a tie over a t-shirt) and Dark regular Jack Baker shooting the shit and watching another Dark production. ("That fuckin' guy looks exactly like you. Is that you?") Baker starts expounding on his thoughts about pimping and "programming" women to fuck with music. Baker also notes, "a pimp calls a chick a bitch". They doze off, and when they wake up they find themselves inexplicably in an office. Baker is wearing a yellow tracksuit, Gillis is sporting an East Asian accent, and there's a guy on the floor substituting for their phone. (Gillis asks: "Why do we not have a regular telephone?" Baker explains: "He got the power, the second sight.") As the movie proceeds to make good on its premise, wherein women have sex after listening to new wave music, we're treated to a steady stream of racial taunting. Baker grouses about black music being ineffective for their purposes, dropping the N-bomb. Gillis continues with his accent. The two get into racially charged arguments. A middle eastern client is served in a tent and barks like a dog after he's finished. At one point, Gillis wants sushi and is served by Kristara Barrington while East Asian style music plays on the soundtrack. I recognize that a lot of humour from the era is extremely politically incorrect and has aged poorly, but there's something about Dark's use of racist and misogynist humour that feels especially confrontational. I admit I was a bit bothered by all of this.

Still, there are moments of humour that did work for me. One of the headsets that the characters use has dildos protruding from both earpieces (pointing outwards, of course), and the production design, while not always stylish, is at least endearing in its blatant cheapness. To their credit, Baker and Gillis have undeniable chemistry and do sell the material as well as they can. (I laughed when Gillis, when confronted by the vice squad, drops his accent and exclaims "I used to work in your fuckin' office, and now I'm rich, I'm satisfied, and I'm Chinese, you assholes." Am I a bad person? Probably.) And in terms of how it meets genre expectations, I do think Ginger Lynn and Kristara Barrington have a real magnetism in their scenes.

Given the racial content in New Wave Hookers, it probably won't surprise anybody that Dark was a pioneer in interracial pornography. I am not a sensitive enough writer to begin unpacking all the implications of the concept, but I did watch one of his movies in the subgenre, Black Throat. This was a shot-on-video effort and looks considerably cheaper and uglier than New Wave Hookers, but shares some other qualities. It opens and closes with a punk song that references that film as well as Let Me Tell Ya Bout White Chicks, Dark's first interracial feature, and to be honest, the song is pretty fucking catchy. The movie follows Roscoe, a man who wears yellow sunglasses and both a polo and a Hawaiian shirt and his friend Mr. Bob, a talking rubber rat. He's searching through the garbage while arguring with Mr. Bob over what to eat when he finds a business card. "Madame Mambo's House of Divine Inspiration Thru Fellatio!" (All of the characters pronounce fellatio differently. Mr. Bob says "fell-uh-tee-oh" and calls Roscoe a "fuckin' honky", to which he responds "Fuck you, Mr. Bob!")

Roscoe insists he has to find her. "If I don't find her, I'm gonna die!" (When asked why, he responds, "I dunno, it sounded kinda dramatic, I guess.") Mr. Bob enlists the help of a "young urban professional pimp" named Jamal, played by Jack Baker. (He prefers the term "flesh broker" and describes upgrading his diet, clothes and investments.) Roscoe, Mr. Bob and Jamal go from scene to scene, watching other characters having sex in different racial combinations, asking them where they can find Madame Mambo. (Sometimes they ask the characters directly, other times they talk to their private parts.) The best of these scenes, in my humble opinion, is a light domination flavoured sex scene featuring Christy Canyon. Perhaps because of the dynamic, there's an element of actual acting involved here, and because Canyon is, uh, pleasingly proportioned and has a certain magnetism, I found this scene more engaging than the others, at least until it turns into a regular sex scene.

Eventually they go back to Roscoe's place and find a voodoo ritual taking place where a black woman with multicoloured hair (think the George H.W. Bush rainbow wig from the Simpsons, but straight, not curly) is jumping on their bed while a bunch of white dudes in hats, capes and sunglasses jack off around her. This of course is Madame Mambo and at this point the movie makes good on the title while drumbeats and funk play on the soundtrack. Given the premise, this movie proved (thankfully) lighter on racial humour than I expected going in. There is an element of racial critique in Baker's character, and Madame Mambo is certainly exoticized, but the racial content otherwise is limited to the interracial couplings and doesn't overload the dialogue. However, this is a fairly ugly looking movie, shot on video, featuring unimpressive camerawork and lighting as well as extremely cheap looking production design (although the movie does mine this for laughs). I also found the sex scenes overlong and the music a bit repetitive. I imagine if you were jerking off to this back in the '80s it was easier to get through, but trying to watch it now as an actual movie, despite some decent humour throughout, proved a bit of a challenge.

The next one I watched was White Bunbusters, which despite the first half of the title is not particularly racially charged. The theme song here, crooned in the style of early '60s rock'n'roll, explains that the movie is about anal sex, as the second half of the title suggests. We begin with Tom Byron thrusting into his wife Shanna McCullough (while wearing his glasses) only to be disappointed by her refusal to take it in the butt. The next day at the office (decorated by construction paper all over the walls, drawers sketched in magic marker and a crude sign with their business' name "Acme Proctology"), he hears an ad for the "A-Busters", an enterprising duo who will convince your wife or partner to let you put it in their butt. We cut to the A-Busters office and see them in yellow shorts, lime green suspenders and orange baseball caps, fiddling with their hi-tech instruments (which include an "anal listening device"). Soon we see them go to work on Jack Baker's girlfriend, taking a cash payment after the fact.

Meanwhile, Byron's friend Greg Rome hears about his woes and offers to let him fuck his wife Keli Richards (Rome is named Bob and Richards is named Bobette). Of course Byron takes advantage of Rome's generous offer, but later gets annoyed when Rome insists it was a "one time deal". They're interrupted by Jennifer Noxt, who asks about a secretarial position for the law office next door. Rather than correcting her, which would be the right thing to do, they have sex with her, which is absolutely not the right thing to do. ("So do I get the job?" "We'll call you later, baby.") We go back to the A-Busters, who go to work on a pornstar warming up for her first anal scene (the movie is called Hershey Highway to Hell). Eventually, Byron decides to make use of their services, and in the climax, when he's having a nice dinner with his wife (complete with plastic cups and paper plates), they crash the party and get to work. After it's all over, Byron thanks the A-Busters and shakes one of their hands, only to promptly wipe it off on his suit.

This is as lo-fi as Black Throat, and features a lot of raunchy humour, but thankfully no real racial content outside of the title. Perhaps because the focus is on a specific set of acts (threesomes, anal sex, double penetration), the execution seems more consistently energetic. The ratio of the threesomes is a little off from what I prefer, but I was not unmoved by the scenes involving Keli Richards, Jennifer Noxt and Shanna McCullough. I realize there are more dignified ways to spend one's time than watching in its entirety and singing the praises of a movie called White Bunbusters, but sometimes the lizard brain takes over. I feel compelled to report the facts, and the facts are that this is good at what it does. As an actual movie, there isn't a whole lot to this, but were I to rate this on the Peter-Meter as the filmmakers intended, it would fare respectably.

Where Gregory Dark's style and the sum of his provocations really worked for me was in The Devil in Miss Jones 3: A New Beginning and The Devil in Miss Jones 4: The Final Outrage, a two-part odyssey through hell. (Attentive viewers may note that the original Devil in Miss Jones takes place before the heroine is sentenced to hell, but this is not a direct sequel. There is also a second part by Henri Pachard and later sequels directed by Dark that I did not see. The narrative in the third and fourth entries feels pretty self contained.) The movie begins with close-ups of our heroine, played by Lois Ayres, taking a shower while "A Christian Girl's Problems" by the Gleaming Spires plays over the soundtrack, her interiority hinted at with an astute song choice. (It's worth noting that this was not an original song made for the movie.) The structure intersperses her story with a series of interviews with those who knew her: an ex-boyfriend who "had a disagreement about the relationship" (he slept around); a woman speculates that Ayres was "a closet lesbian" and that "she probably went to live in one of those lesbian islands in the Caribbean"; a girl who knew her as a prude back in high school, a priest with a thick accent who offers a eulogy; her brother, who speaks in new age euphemisms and resents that she was the favourite growing up; and a blind ex-boyfriend who claims she was the loveliest person he knew "after Helen Keller". (This last character describes his sex life as very "normal": no peeing or dogs, wouldn't fuck pizzas, etc.) All these people knew her, but they didn't really know her.

The actual story follows her after she breaks up with her boyfriend (over the phone, as he shaves another woman's pubic hair while feigning innocence). She heads for a bar, brushing off a stereotypical black pimp played by Jack Baker who mistakes her for a prostitute, and promptly orders a "taco" (a draught beer, a Bloody Mary, and a draught beer in three separate glasses). Beside her is a man asleep on bar in tuxedo, who turns out to have been stood up at his own wedding. They hook up, leading to a sex scene scored by a blaring saxophone that I assume was practice for Dark's softcore work. The scene ends when the heroine knocks her head against the headboard and wakes up in a pitch black space near a grave. In comes Jack Baker, riding atop a woman, to tell her what the situation is. "You are dead, you got no clothes, and this is hell!"

The rest of the movie follows them going through different rooms, the heroine being unable to comprehend her fate, as they watch the different punishments endured by the denizens of hell. There's the room full of "peepers", virgins doomed to only watch sex for all eternity. (One of them explains: "I showed my tits to a guy to get a Gucci purse. He went off an overpass.") There are characters doomed to fuck until their genitals wear out or are ravaged by venereal disease. Baker gives Ayres a raincoat "to keep the come off", but the moment she forgets about it she finds herself getting gangbanged and promptly has to be rescued by Baker (okay, not that promptly, we get to enjoy this for a few minutes). Along the way we're led to believe from the interviews that the heroine might have a fetish for black men, and the conversation between Ayres and Baker grows increasingly heated and racially charged. This idea culminates in a trip to the "racist room", where a white man with a swastika armband is having a threesome with two women of colour while a white woman is sucking off two black men in tribal makeup. Ayres and Baker have a final confrontation on the subject.

"What about all the black racists?"

"Look bitch, when a black man hits a white man, we don't call it racist!"

"What do you call it then?"

"Smart!"

"That's ridiculous, there are plenty of black racists!"

"No dig, you stupid ass white bitch!"

"Look, you're even one of them, calling me a stupid bitch and a white bitch!"

"We'll you're stupid, you're white and a bitch, so what is your motherfucking problem?"

"You're crazy, negro, and you're one of the sickest people in here!"

"That's right, I'm a crazy negro! I'm so crazy I'll eat my own arm!"

This is a deeply uncomfortable scene, and what follows is even more disturbing, as we learn the true nature of the heroine's relationship with her father, a reveal that Dark plays for maximum shock value in depicting "The Ordeal of the Taboo Breakers".

In some ways this isn't all that different from New Wave Hookers, but Dark's direction seems more purposeful here. The stylized depiction of hell, with its black backgrounds and harsh neon lighting, imbue a real sense of menace into the proceedings. With the exception of two scenes, the sex isn't all that outrageous, but Dark's mise-en-scene has a way of rendering it almost as horror. It's not exactly scary and probably still "does the trick" if you're watching this for those reasons, but there's an undeniable charge here. Likewise, the dark humour and the racial content seem to work in tandem here, and Ayres and Baker really sell their adversarial chemistry. (It's worth noting that even by the standards of the video vixens that appear in Dark's movies, Ayres has an amazing hairdo.) Dark may not have entirely thought out his thesis along these lines, but the movie is provocative in its handling of this content, and unlike New Wave Hookers, not in a way that hurts it. At a combined 2+ hours, this probably runs a bit too long, but it does shape the usual procession of sex scenes into a structure that carries an uneasy momentum that matches the heroine's trepidation. We might not like what we're seeing, but we also can't help but keep looking.

#film #put on your raincoats #movie review #gregory dark #new wave hookers #black throat #white bunbusters #the devil in miss jones 3: a new beginning #the devil in miss jones 4: the final outrage

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witchyaqua · 5 years ago

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planets in the 1st house

DOMAIN OF THE 1ST HOUSE:

The self; ego, identity, consciousness

Your name, title, and any other unique words you (and others) use to identify you

Your physical body and outward appearance

People’s first impression of you when they meet you face-to-face

Mannerisms, facial expressions, hand gestures, body language

Appearance as self-expression: the styles and trends you want to dress yourself up in

SUN IN THE 1H:This is an exceptionally powerful placement for your Sun. Anything placed in the 1st House is expressed at its fullest capacity with absolutely no censorship. For you, this means that you cannot shelter your ego from being impacted by others, and you also cannot stop expressing yourself in the realest, rawest way possible. When you are young or immature, people will see you as obnoxious, egotistical, self-absorbed, and self-important. But others will be drawn to your warmth, generosity, optimism, and creativity. Whether good or bad, you impact the people around you in a noticeable way, and are bound to be popular because of your large personality.One way you impact others is through your own personal aesthetic. You have the glamour and the sex appeal of the golden god himself - beautiful hair, a shining smile, muscle tone, a warmth to the colour of your skin, and a taste for bold, sexy, creative style choices that draw all eyes to you. It makes sense that you put a lot of care into your appearance, since it is an enormous source of pride for you. Of course, you aren't immune to bad body days, where insecurity gets the best of you. But the important thing is to focus on what you can change, and what you love about your body, no matter how you might feel day-to-day.

MOON IN THE 1H:Those with this placement are often given rounded features and softness about their face and body. Your look gives an impression of being warm and caring, a fact that is aided by a quiet disposition and telling eyes. You prefer soft, stretchy fabrics in soft colours, and like to feel "bundled up", like you were wearing a blanket. In many ways, you appear young and child-like, perhaps even baby-faced. This planet is closely tied to the maternal feminine, and many astrologers link the Moon to your impression and experience of your mother. When reading your Moon sign’s description, you may find you can relate a lot about what is said of your own emotions to what your mother is like. And in turn, you have become a lot like your mother in this way (whether you choose to acknowledge this or not).It is an understatement to declare yourself as an “emotional person”. You are moody, compassionate, intuitive, and very sensitive to your surroundings. Being so thin-skinned, all of your feelings exposed on the surface, you are permeable in the way that everything penetrates you, no matter how hard you try to erect barriers between yourself and the outside world. You feel enormous empathy for other people, especially animals and small children, and can't help but pick up on all the subtle energies in the air around you. Faced with other people who are upset, stressed out, angry, or on the verge of a nervous breakdown, you feel like the waters of your heart are crashing back and forth in your chest. In quiet isolation, at home or with family, you feel your waters are still, your inner seas calm. In a frenzied crowd, you feel overwhelmed, and run away to safety. And in the wild spaces outside our human cities, you feel at peace, as if the waves are gently lapping the shore.

MERCURY IN THE 1H:You are Mercury and everything it stands for. You flit from person to person, topic to topic, picking up information like a bee collecting pollen from a variety of colourful flowers. From everything, you take a little piece and make it a part of you, adapting to and mimicking all different kinds of people. Frequently, your life changes on a whim. Once you feel you’ve become stagnant, you suddenly change, travelling somewhere or picking up a new area of study. You are restless, inquisitive, insatiably curious. Your mind never turns off or slows down. Books, games, puzzles, studying, tinkering with things in your hand - you can’t sit still for the life of you!When being by yourself isn’t enough, you like to go out and mingle in big groups and talk to people. You need your mental abilities to be challenged, sharpened by wit and forged in the fires of intellectual discourse. This is why you have the potential to become such a prolific public speaker, writer, singer, journalist, or teacher. Your way with words is unparalleled by all but a few. But an obstacle stands in the way of you connecting with a wider audience: there is no filter between your head and your mouth. You say whatever comes to mind, no matter how offensive or insensitive it may sound. This can create tension between you and other people, who become irritated at your rude and audacious behaviour. Others, who are thicker-skinned, find it funny, and revel in the fact that they can say whatever they want around you. A little bit of edgy controversy can get you some attention, but you do not want to be popular for being vulgar and mean!

VENUS IN THE 1H:But despite this placement giving you enormous sex appeal, this is not an especially harmonious placement for Venus. When you take Venusian ideas into your personal identity and merge with the goddess, the value you place upon yourself depends on what other people think of you. Your worth and self esteem are not determined by your own level of self-respect, as it should be. You go out of your way to be as likeable as you can be. You may be a goody-two-shoes, always being sweet and good and impressive. Or you may become a seducer, flaunting your body for attention and adoration. You are gentle, reception to their emotions, compassionate, cooperative, and eager to make another person’s life more beautiful. Yet people call you weak, lazy, indulgent, pleasure-seeking, shallow, and vain. You spend too much time and money pleasing yourself and not enough on improving yourself. As long as your self-esteem depend on the opinions other people have about you,their perceptions of you will cut to the bone, and you will never feel satisfied with yourself.And honestly, there is so much to love about you. For all the hang-ups Venus has in the 1st House, there is no denying the charm and the beauty she gives you too. There is a reason for your reputation as a heart-breaker, a heart-throb, an idol, or a sex symbol. That certain something you have that draws people in and keeps them there is caught by everyone you meet. You move enticingly, like there is a coiled spring inside of you ready to twist little people around your pinky fingers. You enjoy the attention and find it flattering, allowing them to covet you even when you have no intention of making their dreams come true. Aside from that, you also impress with your artistic talents in art, writing, music, design, and acting, all of which come easily to you. And don’t forget your social etiquette – refined, elegant, but not without good humour, people find you as enchanting to be around as fireflies in the night.

MARS IN THE 1H:Possible conflicts aside, this is a very good placement for Mars. Through this energy you are able to exert your will and get what you want without shame or embarrassment holding you back. This placement shows itself very early on in life, as you were the type of baby that kicked and cried until you were free to stretch and move around. You showed an early desire to walk, to climb, to get into things and explore; bravery showed too, as you charged forward into new adventures and never looked back to mom and dad. You got hurt a lot, a trait that can be seen all the way into adulthood. Scars (especially on the face), bruises, broken bones, and trips to the hospital, all a result of you moving too fast, knocking things down, falling over, and your general accident-prone nature. You were one of many children that needed to be put into sports or some other kind of physical activity. Without a structured outlet, your boundless energy becomes destructive.As an adult, you still share many of the same charismatic features as your younger self. You still have that same strong identity, the same desire to impose your will upon others, the same outspoken (borderline inconsiderate) way of expressing yourself. Truth be told, you do not fare well with sensitive people; they find you to be cruel, offensive, and too overwhelming to be around for very long. If you are wondering why people have such strong, predominantly negative, reactions to you, that would be why! You do better with other masculine people who do not need their friends or lovers to be so gentle. You are hilarious, entertaining, confident, sexy, and you possess enough strength of character to get past the hate doled out to you on a regular basis. Perhaps you are not always the most sensitive, nurturing type of person (if you are at all) but you possess other likeable qualities that draw others to you.

JUPITER IN THE 1H:Exaggerated stories, exaggerated speech, exaggerated movements – all makes you comical, dramatic, and fun to watch! This is what makes you so very popular, lucky, and successful in life. People like you, even when you stick in your foot in your mouth and say things that offend them. For you are totally honest (even brutally honest at times), even when that means telling people things they do not want to hear, and are not about to quiet your opinions on anything. You are totally yourself. You love yourself, and you aren’t about to deny yourself anything. Pleasure-seeking with a big appetite for live, you indulge in hedonistic pleasures all the time. Good food, drinks, shopping, parties, games, entertainment, seeing friends, having fun, school, and travelling make up the list of things you like to do. But be careful. Money slips through your fingers when you spend it unwisely!You are not simply a student of knowledge, who seeks to fill one’s head up with information. You are a student of philosophy and spirituality, who pours over pages of history, culture, politics, language, and the nature of mankind in order to become wiser to the ways of the world. There are big questions that need to be answered. As a teacher, you open your pupil’s minds to all the possibilities hosted here, inviting them to explore topics freely and unrestrained. In the position, however, you are victim to an inflated sense of self-importance and the false belief that you have more wisdom to offer than you actually do. Still, your confidence in yourself inspires confidence in others too – which is part of the reason why you fulfill the role of entertainer, too. Being as dramatic and funny as you are, you were born to perform!

SATURN IN THE 1H: Saturn here usually indicates a long and difficult birth, as if the child is not ready to come out and meet the world yet. Even in the very beginning of your life, you met new experiences with apprehension, unwilling to make any sudden changes to your established routine. Fear seems to run your whole life in this way, making you hesitate and procrastinate and dwell on things long after you should have acted. You are not made for frivolity. You plan out big goals that take you years to accomplish and then work very hard to make sure they are realized in the end. You are a figure of strength, stability, safety, and security; a reliable person one can trust to always be there and to be the same no matter what. But you are also frigid, strict, controlling, and unforgiving, totally devoid of sentiment when you are setting out to accomplish something. You are as stubborn as a bull, as solid as a rock, as enduring and as patient as a mountain, and as persistent as the waters which slowly erode them into valleys below. Responsibility and duty become your two most admirable qualities. Coupled with your intense work ethic and goal-setting nature, long-term success is bound to find its way to you. Even your appearance takes on the qualities of Saturn. An air of chilly superficiality tends to hang around you, adding to the unfriendliness that people pick up on. To some you look mean, cold, calculating. But the expression you wear on your face is there to mask your insecurities and put up an emotional wall between you and other people. Your clothing is apt to cover your body, as you are modest and do not like to show much skin. You are attracted to traditional, classier cuts and darker colours which lend a sense of timelessness to your style. One might get the impression that you are hiding your body, and they would be right. Saturn can make your body feel unattractive or uncomfortable to live in, as you focus on your flaws and what needs to be “worked on”. You are able to discipline your body with a strict diet and exercise regime. You may even be able to lose some of the weight you seem to retain no matter what. But you will always have the impression of being heavier, sturdier, and stronger than you actually are.

URANUS IN THE 1H: Your influence on the world is nothing short of revolutionary, as you characterize disruptive change and innovative individualism. You seek to discover the truths of this world that lay in science and reason. And yet you also ascribe to eccentric beliefs, unusual interests, and strange hobbies in your personal life. You feel entitled to determining your own truth for yourself and possess a highly independent way of viewing the world. When it comes to hard science you are in agreement with the experts. But on topics of spirituality, religion, politics, culture, and world issues, you can be quite controversial in your views. At times, you can be quite inconsiderate of other people’s beliefs and opinions, stubborn in your own, and intent on getting your way at all costs. For this reason (among others) you do better in leadership roles or working by yourself. You need an enormous amount of freedom to express yourself, and often you would prefer just to work alone. You may identify more readily with alternative styles, outcasts, weirdos, subcultures on the outskirts of your own. You may even start you own trends from the outside in. Kurt Cobain, who had this placement, became the face of the Grunge Rock movement of the 1980/90's, and John Lennon became a figure of war-hating, peace-loving, drug-using counterculture in the 1960/70's.

NEPTUNE IN THE 1H: You are a creative, imaginative, and talented artist in your chosen medium. You are a highly spiritual person who possesses uncanny psychic powers, heightened by a lack of emotional boundaries between you, other people, and the divine. You reflect their qualities like a mirror and absorb their energies like a sponge. Perhaps it is because your mother refused to let go of you that you feel so guilty about separating yourself from other people. Or perhaps when you were growing up, your life was so unstable you never developed a secure sense of self. You are so easily affected by other people that their emotions can be overwhelming to the point of madness for you. But instead of erecting walls between yourself and others, you simply look for methods of escaping from your current negative feelings. This is why you are so prone to drug use, alcoholism, and getting lost in your own imagination. You should not feel as though you have to sacrifice yourself and your own happiness for the sake of making other people comfortable. And yet, you do it all the time.

PLUTO IN THE 1H:Pluto in the 1st House makes you look intimidating and unapproachable. You are a figure of power, like royalty, and you gaze upon the world as a ruler does. Some people are hopelessly drawn to the energies you emanate, and some are too scared of you to dare approach. What is true is that you have a deeply profound, highly emotional effect on the people around you, whether you realize it or not. People around you pick up on the intense emotional energy you radiate, as well as the sultry, sexual magnetism exuding out of every pore. Your fashion sense is likely to switch between being sexually appealing and conservative, as you likewise sway between wanting to be an object of desire and being ruthlessly self-protective.Pluto in the 1st House is given to children who needed to protect themselves when they were younger. Some astrologers claim that this indicates that your birth into this world was difficult or life-threatening for you and your mother, beginning life itself with strong birth-and-death themes. Throughout your life, you have learned to be self-sufficient, to support yourself, not to trust anyone (even the people you love), and to observe people for clues as to their hidden motivations. In extreme cases, this could mean a childhood of abuse, betrayal, crisis, traumas, painful separations, destruction, emotional turmoil, and other difficult experiences. This has lead you to become a person obsessed with gaining power over yourself and your relationships, making you very controlling, obsessive, vindictive, and paranoid regarding whatever is “yours”. Depression and anxiety, as well as anger issues and violent fantasies, plague you. But these are all a part of who you are. You are not above using sex or emotional manipulation to get what you want. You are ruthless, dark, and dangerous, and as much of a threat to others as you are to yourself. You can unravel people’s lives from the inside in and force them to burn and be reborn – and you can do so destructively, through pain and anger, or you can transform them through love and acceptance.

-all the information i found is from canaryquillastrology.com

#astrology #the1sthouse #sun #moon #mercury #venus #"mars #jupitar #saturn #uranus #neptune #pluto

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