it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
A lot of people feel uncomfortable with the idea of fish having teeth, especially when they "shouldn't". So, to get you folks more used to the idea, this week, I'm going to be talking about all things teeth, teeth, teeth! That is, a small glimpse into the diversity of fish dentition and the variety of reasons why certain fish have evolved the teeth they have. Thank you @trickstertox for the fun idea :D
Sheepshead seabream!
This fish is a heterodont, which means its teeth show differences in size and shape: sheepsheads have teeth that have specialised into molars, incisors and grinders. The molars are actually found in several rows, with three rows of molars on the upper jaw and two rows of molars on the lower jaw! The sheepsheads require this specialised and heavily-armed dentition to scrape rooted mollusks and crustaceans off hard surfaces, and to crush their hard shells. Their prey includes animals like clams, oysters, crabs and barnacles, but they also supplement their diet with aquatic plants too.
[image id: illustration of Gordon Freeman from Half Life series. He is in a top down perspective so that the viewer is looking down at him as he looks up through furrowed brows. There is bright yellow alien blood all over his face and HEV suit as well as his crowbar as it hangs down from his left hand and leaves a trail on the tiled floor behind him. He is cast in a bright green light coming from high above him as well as being backlit by a purple light from the left and a blue light from the right as they all reflect on his HEV suit. end image id]
on my knees and begging for brennan to give me something to latch onto with mazey bc she seems conceptually so sweet but I can't get behind a date that is like two sentences of actual chatting and then brennan being like "you SEE she is very sweet and calm" rather than the organic development of scenes, like I wish she was better incorporated into the plot man
Another great concert although something felt a tiny bit more tense than yesterday...
I blame the venue especially with how the bus was right next to the queue so the guys might have felt that they had no privacy 😅
Lots of good band member interactions on stage tho 👀 plus - but I might be wrong here - I felt like I got even more attention from Bojan today the most obvious being when he got to give my little kris corner fist bumbs but held my hand in his and winked at me 🥹
I still havent told you a lot about Malmö so this may seems a big leap but yeah I promise I will get to it possibly after getting home to a computer and being able to type a diary for myself before making one for tumblr xD