toonjazzy · 9 months ago
Text
Rambling and Analyzing Eraser bc I’m a fucking nerd—
Alright, let’s get into it!
Okay Okay can I just point out that the intro with the chalkboard and the ripping paper reminds me of High School Sweethearts?
Also, the reversed vocals “Paper, I’ll be”, IT SOUNDS SO GOOD???
THE FUCKING BEAT? THE MELODY IS SO CATCHY I JUST WANNA SING
No doubt, it is way better with the weird bass and the distorted vocals
Also, the message? I think it’s obvious Crybaby is talking about losing her virginity but, listen closely to her words and you will realize this is seriously so sad but unfortunately this happens to so many people regardless of age or gender
The song is about Crybaby losing her virginity young to a person who lied to her and hurt her because they were just trying to get into her pants the whole time like Crybaby originally thought “I know you want only one thing” and says “I’m too young for falling in love”, this is the case for many people. Many people do not know the difference between Love and Lust and confuse together and end up hurt in the process but nobody likes discussing that :|
Crybaby clearly knows what she is getting into which is why she states she is “Pure as an Angel” and “Don’t you fuck me up” and talks about her eraser. And then by the second verse, I noticed that you can hear the distorted vocals more which makes me think it represents her subconscious. Notice that the distorted vocals repeat what she says “Sweet Talk” “Fall” “Lights are off, the lights are off!” “Take something away from me” “Dumb” Take something away from me” She also says “I’m so dumb for falling in love, baby I want you to take something away from me” this may be her arguing with herself because she has these intrusive thoughts which again, are common in most people. But she states that she fell in love because she has sexual thoughts as seen by the lyrics “Now I want only one thing”
Then she says she will no longer be pure as an angel, again, a common thing that happens to people when they have these feelings (Nothing to be ashamed of! Dw!) And then she says this, “Say we’ll last forever and I won’t need an eraser”
This is where the sad part comes in. They did not love her, they only wanted to fuck her and just told her what she wanted to hear so that she would agree. Again, this happens to a lot of people, unfortunately (Be careful if you desire a relationship with love AND lust combined but only receive lust) and we get to the best part of the song, the bridge and the breakdown!
This sounds like her thinking about what just happened and now panicking. She says “Why am I crying? Oh fuck that’s right, you got what you wanted! Oh fuck, that’s right!” So this could be like her either crying after sex (Which I’ve read happens to some people) or her being dumped right after
The distorted vocals could be her mind screaming because she was nervous to lose her virginity or her screaming because she just got heartbroken and knows that she will now be slutshamed (Again, a common thing that unfortunately happens) since she says “I was pure as an Angel, now I’m all fucked up”. Also the vocals sound like they’re saying “No” at the bridge as if her subconscious knew it was a bad idea and tried to tell her No, don’t do this
I imagine her with like wings of fire and everything around her burning and her inner demons yelling at her while she cries. “Wrote your name on my paper, now I’m all marked up” is a clever lyric bc this means that she lost her virginity to this person, and it will always mean that and it has a negative effect on her, “Some things last forever and I don’t have an eraser” (Eraser echoes)
I imagine her at the end picking up a knife and marching towards the person as she says “If I had an eraser, I’d undo what you’ve done!” To get sweet revenge as this is a Melanie Martinez song after all!
*Mic drops*
-Jester Jazzy, an Educated Aroace’s perspective
5 notes · View notes
aroaessidhe · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
2023 reads
The Spider And Her Demons
YA Australian urban fantasy/horror
about a Malaysian-Chinese girl who’s half spider-demon, just trying to keep her head down and survive high school
when she accidentally kills and eats a man in front of the most popular girl at school, they strike up a strange friendship and she starts to learn more about herself and the supernatural world
aroacespec/sapphic ish
#The Spider And Her Demons#Sydney Khoo#loveozya#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#you give me a teenage girl with giant hair spider legs who scuttles across her bedroom wall on page 3#and then eats a man and i am already sold.#also aus books are always so familiar compared to US books :)#and yes sexuality stuff is ambiguous but basically: a bunch of discussion on relationship hierachies (ie friendship equally/more important)#themes of feeling unlovable bc you're different and different forms of love#multiple times the MC says she has no interest in dating or relationships and also is touch (and maybe sex) repulsed#- but of course that Also has to do with the whole Being A Monster thing#and it definitely shows some kind of attraction to dior - ie looking at her lips/bare skin; blushing; etc#and ends on sort of hand kiss / 'is this something??' vibes#I asked the author and they said they see them as QPR / platonic soulmates but are not at the point where they would know what to call it#which makes total sense to me!#the part of me who wants more obvious aroace YA wishes it was a little more specific#but also I DO love ambiguity and I think it wouldn't be true to the characters#who are clearly not even ready to start figuring that stuff out.#and also. aroacespec sapphics is like. also something i want#also like. I think it's reductive to assume just because 'looks at lips' is a common allo attraction trope....doesn't necessarily mean#it has to be that. yknow.#anyway. i loved it a lot.#gross spidergirl (affectionate)......#also dior is such an interesting and complex character. like another book could have made her nicer or less fucked up
206 notes · View notes
teazzle · 1 year ago
Text
ace question for this ace awareness week but anyone can answer!
oh let me know if you're ace or not in the tags and share this?
211 notes · View notes
moe-broey · 2 months ago
Text
Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂‍↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
27 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 6 months ago
Text
i feel like many ppl dont understand just how unwanted i am and how deeply it affects me... my presence isnt wanted anywhere, and wherever i go i feel like im not allowed to exist. im never anyone's first choice. never the first favorite friend. never this never that. like im never the first choice for anyone, just now i almost got hit by a car bc the driver chose to not hit another person close by. they would've rather hit me than that person. and that's just how it goes for me wherever i go. im lucky when and if im even tolerated. but im not wanted or the first choice or the favorite. that just makes me feel so profoundly alone, like i dont belong anywhere or is even allowed to breathe the same air as everyone else.
28 notes · View notes
starlightswordfight · 2 months ago
Text
GOD writing friendship is making me so happy this is wonderful. friendship is the point of it all (rainbows fly everywhere like that dolphin picture)
12 notes · View notes
sonknuxadow · 8 months ago
Text
i just dont get the insistence that silver has to be the child or descendant of some other already existing character in general really ... like surely shadow amy and sonic arent the only hedgehogs that exist in the present? silver could just be some random guy you know. also i honestly think his whole deal is more interesting if hes not anyone special or related to anyone special. and hes just some random kid who was born into a shitty situation and one day decided hes had enough and hes gonna do something about it
30 notes · View notes
james-is-nasqueer · 3 months ago
Text
anyone else seeing some distasteful kurt busch dwi takes or is it just me
#like don't get me wrong... it's bad. he had a LOT in his system and he shouldn't have been driving#but oh my god...#calling him disgusting?#when (if you take like 5 minutes to look) a lot of his fans seem to think he might have a drinking problem...?#I don't know anything about the guy honestly. he could be the worst person in nascar or a literal saint. it doesn't matter#I just think it's weird for people to hop on their soap boxes to publicly decry him worthless for this#like you don't have to like him to not be condescending to addicts??#holy shittt#it's truly awful#and it's coming from a LOT of ''left leaning'' accounts I follow too. sad.#like sure you want to help alcoholics/addicts but do you show compassion.#instead of ''this is disgusting I am repulsed by [man I don't know]'s actions''#how about you try ''wow this is disappointing but I really hope he seeks help for both the community and his sake''#otherwise your comments are just performative bullshit#addicts shouldn't have to read your garbage and shame themselves into healing.#cause yknow that doesn't always fucking work. sometimes it makes them want to harm themselves MORE.#because if they're already so terrible how can they live sober/clean?!#so maybe shut the fuck up.#anyway. you can socially condemn things without trying to humiliate addicts and potential addicts who are ultimately#victims of their condition.#sincerely. the son and grandson of several addicts.#P.S. THIS POST IS NOT SAYING ADDICTS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS. NOWHERE DO I SAY THAT.#ok bye
15 notes · View notes
bananasofthorns · 4 months ago
Note
tell me about your worst guy
ok a summary of the campaign and what has happened so far, as quick as I can. the campaign is based on the life series started by Grian Minecraft (the irl guy) - tldr all the PCs plus a handful of NPCs are in a death game (kind of think the hunger games in terms of how much space they have. but add minecraft mechanics) and they each have a limited amount of lives; once they reach their last life (red), they get to/have to start killing people. last person standing is the winner. to make things more silly goofy, there is also the boogeyman mechanic, where at least one person per session is chosen to be the "boogeyman" and they have to kill another player or else lose all but their last life at the end of the session.
there are also these beings called the watchers. if you don't know what they are, think angels who love watching people Go Through It in these life games. Aphim is a watcher, but a disgraced one - this game is his last chance to redeem himself. so he NEEDS to win. additionally, he has been told that he has to kill Beau, an NPC who has been in the games previously, was formerly a watcher (which Aphim. dubiously knows in canon? I don't remember), and is currently trying to stop the games from continuing. also he and Aphim are uh. how do I say this. homosexual. Beau is trying to seduce Aphim away from the watchers and Aphim has no fucking clue how to feel about it because he has never been flirted with before. especially not by a hot man. anyway
something you need to know about Aphim is that his normal form, his watcher form, is nowhere near human. he is towering and winged and has far too many eyes and a few too many joints and when he does not need a contained physical form he does not really have one. imagine a desolate, snowy forest of birch. he is the trees and their eye-like knots and the blanket of snow and the spaces between and the void above and the distant stars. that is Who He Is. but for the game he has to be contained in a human form and he Hates It. there is nothing he loathes more. it's like gender dysphoria but for what kind of thing he is. the only thing he loathes nearly as much is the thought of losing his power and autonomy, which is what will happen if he fails the watchers.
and every time he fails to kill Beau, even though he's not red yet and so by the rules of the watchers' game can't yet kill Beau, the watchers threaten his wings. which he obviously is not a huge fan of. so even though he is very intrigued by Beau and what Beau's trying to tell him, the selfishness will always win out.
cut to the most recent session. boogeyman is rolled. the gang [Aphim, Beau, Orla (NPC), Carwyn (Mura's PC), and Apate (Laurie's PC) wakes up to find Synne (NPC who is someone from the real world isekaied into the game. funny as hell) gone. they go to look for Synne. Synne comes out of the bushes trying to attack Beau; Apate and Aphim (who, by the way, hate each other so bad - Apate has a lot of watcher trauma to work through and Aphim just finds her annoying) notice first. Apate (who has also latched onto Beau as a way out of her Literal Trauma Cycle) goes straight to trying to attack Synne. Aphim disarms Synne.
meanwhile, halfway across the map, Arsené (Ophelia's PC) and Achlys (Chrys's PC) both notice a Very Bad Vibe Shift in, like, the fabric of the universe. something is about to go so horribly wrong.
Synne lunges for Beau's throat but Orla blocks Synne; Beau briefly restrains Synne. the moment they touch, Aphim is hit with a wash of pain so bad his entire body just goes numb. it's the feeling he gets when the watchers summon him from the game to talk to him but far, far worse.
which is the bigger threat right now? Synne or Beau?
who is the subject every time the watchers summon him?
he attacks Beau.
obviously, Orla and Apate do not take kindly to this. in fact, they end up killing him about it LMAO (also, side note. all Beau did was push the axe further in. which was INSANE) (he didn't die; Arsené, Achlys, and their allies showed up and helped him). so he's on his second to last life right now
before he respawned, he had a vision where aforementioned Grian Minecraft (the character, this time) (he is also a former watcher) went hey bud. maybe think about what you really want. the watchers will fuck you up. and Aphim (digging his teeth into his monstrousness so hard it'll hurt) basically went hm. no 💛
and then he was also briefly back in the white space where the watchers summon him to talk. and all he felt was their towering presences and disappointment. and then he respawned. so obviously he is going to be so normal about all of this next session,
7 notes · View notes
ajxrn-archive · 4 months ago
Text
I need to be put in a waffle iron or something
#i am. really stressed!!#i hate being online i keep losing friends#Majority of them did shitty stuff to me and it makes me so sad#I already have trust problems so when people come and say theyll always be here for me and then the next thing i know im blocked because i#Expressed my discomfort about something shitty they did it makes those trust issues even worse#We were pretty close and now i regret telling him shit because he could use it against me#And im starting to fall out with my “best friend” irl. Everything is making me sick#I can’t do this anymore I really want to disappear#There has to be something about me so repulsive to people#That i just turn them away#its gonna be like that for the rest of my life isnt it? I probably wont even get a partner in the future#I just don’t know why I fuck up every friendship so bad even if it wasnt. My fault#I shouldve kept my mouth shut even if i was uncomfortable#my last friendships ended like this too#I caused a huge server fight by saying I was uncomfy and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now because of it#even though some said they werent#I am just really lonely and feel like a piece of shit#Because I am one#I don’t really know if I want to keep being here anymore#I genuinely think nobody likes me#Even when I was in school nobody liked me#I was the “weird girl”#I just wish I was normal and likeable and then maybe I’d have friends irl#I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve considered suicide over it multiple times#I ruin everything#My friendships. My life. My parents marriage. My art. Everything.#I doubt anyone will read this or gaf so just. ignore me
5 notes · View notes
disagigglebilities · 8 months ago
Text
The interesting intersection of having both physical and mental disabilities and experience abled bodied mentally ill ableism and sane minded physically ill ableism
14 notes · View notes
derpinette · 7 months ago
Text
i have this "alter ego" that only exists in my head where essentially i am a fat sloppy drunk old fisherman with no loved ones living in misery & isolation & i often imagine myself as him especially in moments of patheticness
#& he is always a fisherman not a farmer not a fisherwoman either ( too badass... )#past life ?! caus my ♯azn side was all fishers & stuff like my grandfather ETC but like all of them looked anorexic instead of fat so#also i imagine the guy as kind of vaguely mediterranean looking so maybe not because that side of my family are mountain farmers#when i read the old man & the sea ( i hate hemingway BTW ♯NotPete ♯ActuallyMikey ) ( uhm sorry about that... )#i was like this is my life/future if it was better... 🚬 But that was a good while after i was already thinking of myself like that#closest thing i felt to a kin moment is when we analyzed miss brill like wow me & i am not even old that is genuinely just my life#as a (at the time) seventeen year old. & also carol ledoux from repulsion literally 100% only i am an ugly freak instead of beautiful#i pretty much never think of myself as myself in my head & actually never when i was younger up until age 9 i remember vividly#& i just had this thought while making my lazy “bite sized” onigiri ( bowl of seasoned rice +tunamayo +vache qui rit +avocado +spoon )#but even when i make the non lazy version i get so overwhelmed & irritated & SLOPPY i feel like a drunk old man with nothing to#live for#anyone else feel like this sometimes...#if any of you weeaboos judge my terminology by the way i will kill myself just FYI#IDCCCC about the actual name you know what i mean. quasi poke bowl but each “component” has its own dish. whatever OK...
16 notes · View notes
captainimprobable · 1 month ago
Text
Me: Oh boy, I can't wait to be a barista! Those guys are queer and quirky and I'm gonna fit right in! My coworkers, the most aggressively normal people I've ever met, IMMEDIATELY deciding they dislike me because I'm Too Much: lol
3 notes · View notes
moe-broey · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Some. Sort of spectrum. From most likely to least likely.
And by kitten-pile I mean This
Tumblr media
I'll put a transcript under cut for easier reading! 🫡
How Likely Are They to Kitten Pile?
__
Mirabilis: "are you tired..? do you need a break...? ohh we could take one together..."
If she likes/trusts you even a little, she wants to cuddle about it!!!
-
Sharena and Peony: "Okay! 💖 Yay! 💖"
Shari: The only thing stopping her is social conventions -- making her MORE likely to jump at the opportunity!
Peony: Learning social awareness as she goes, and is surprisingly good at it?
-
Triandra: "Aren't we a bit old for that...? But... even so..."
Embarrassed, conflicted, but feels strangely nostalgic at the notion...
-
Plumeria: "I'm not so petal-soft that I'd resort to such INDECENCY, I mean even if your intentions are Pure USE YOUR HEADS YOU FOOLS!! Girl, the IMPLICATIONS!!!"
Desperately wants to join the kitten-pile, but her Issues and Pride gets in the way.
-
Moe: "aw, so cutes!"
Generally touch adverse, extremely picky even with the people it likes/loves -- everything is entirely on its terms.
#fire emblem#feh#STILL. DRAFTING. IT FEELS LIKE. concetualizing. ect.#but this vision was So Strong. and is honestly Such a way to parse each out.#like... mira craves warmth and comfort... i think she esp likes cuddling w peony bc it feels like a mother's touch#esp the discrepancy in body types i'm going w here. i really wanna draw them together actually...#meanwhile LONG. LONG STANDING HC. about sharena being v physically affectionate even touch starved#and having to learn boundaries the hard way. i also think a huge difference between her and peony actually#is that peony always had someone to cuddle with (mira!!). so peony never had to 'outgrow' it the way shari had to#which may have led to peony being a little more adjusted actually??? i also am v much playing w the idea#that peony is like min maxed. she's surprisingly socially aware/emotionally intelligent#BUT. she still has huge blind spots due to her seclusion and mostly only interacting w kid mortals (in the dream realm)#and i esp think she fails to see the complexity in situations. ect ect#triandra. boy do i have lore about triandra. but you can take a guess. i'll leave that up to you.#AND PLUMERIA. OH MY GOD PLUMERIA. i can just TELL she's going to be an EXTREMELY FUN chara to write#she basically writes herself. looking deeper beyond the obvious sex repulsion/intimacy issues#she's a stubborn jaded 'too cool for this' older sister. who is WAY more protective than she will Ever Admit.#LIKE... I AM THINKING ESP HOW SHE TREATED MIRA IN THAT TT SIDE STORY.#the way she was looking out for her. tri is absolutely plum's most trusted confidant and therefore#the person she's most vulnerable with. but even then. she's still protective of mira and i bet even peony if she had trouble#(granting. they're on the same side). AUGH AND ALSO THE WAY PLUM IS STUCK IN HER WAYS TOO....#I DON'T HAVE COHERENT THOUGHTS. but the way plumeria Is just resonates so deeply w me...#mirabilis#sharena#fe peony#fe triandra#fe plumeria#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
12 notes · View notes
some-pers0n · 8 months ago
Note
idk why femscout is the most popular team fortress r63. half of his personality is that he's a boyfailure and it just wouldn't work if he were a girlfailure. i am a proud lesbian of the femsoldier nation.
He looks female enough to draw him as a preppy tomboy with a ponytail. Him, Pyro, and on occasion Medic. Not as much as, say, Solly, Sniper, or Heavy. Though, I did once see art of a FemEngie where it was a petite anime girl with black hair and giant DD tits floating around on either the shitposting sub or the official sub. Probably shitposting subreddit. I could only think about how much a coward that person was cause there's no way FemEngie would have an hourglass figure and not be a fat butch. C'mon now, be serious.
I will say though I do love the concept art for the female mercs. I like the idea that all of them would've had differing personalities to their male counterparts, but ah well.
Tumblr media
7 notes · View notes
bylertruther · 2 years ago
Text
going through henry's tag and experiencing psychic damage with every third post saying some of the craziest shit you've ever heard in your entire life, because the idea of henry targeting will the way he has since season one suddenly makes liking henry too uncomfortable for some people, leading them to engage in insane mental gymnastics trying to twist canon this way and that, even though that's what the story has been leading to this entire time and the show literally told you multiple times from four different character's mouths, one of which was henry's own, that that was indeed the case lol
55 notes · View notes