#I DO NOT FEEL FUCKING NORMAL

[prettyboykatsuki]

Also also halovians have the ability to radiate frequencies from their halos that reveal the true nature of their thoughts via telepathy so like… do you think he does this when you two are doing the dance in bed (the woo hoo) and he lets you have a teensy weensy peak into his heart… and all of a sudden it’s like WAVES of his adoration and obsession love wrack through your brain and it’s so intense that your entire body trembles under the sheer magnitude of it

anon i thought about these asks nonstop. this is the only thing ive been able to think about for hours. i dreamt of it. i could not rest. i was tossing and turning thinking about this. like its literally making me want to scream and cry and also throw up. it makes me feel so abnormal.

just the thought of this.... i cant breathe.........

gn + sub bottom reader, lifestyle dom implications lol, 18+

the thing with sunday is i do think he has a hard time expressing himself. his leadership position, his responsibility. being incapable of lying doesn't mean much when the twisted parts of his personality are all wrapped in his conviction. sunday never lies to you. he couldn't even if he wanted

but i do think it's hard to really understand or gauge his feelings for you. if he's pleasant and kind and fair to everyone, what makes you different? benevolence and warmth are all means of control. no matter how much you pine for sunday, who knows if any of that is real?

he rarely has sex with you in such an..intimate way i think. not usually involving himself. everything is about meticulous control and allowing himself that kind of pleasure takes him off that. most of the time, it's sunday pleasuring you as a way to relieve himself. he has such iron tight control over you, but it's loving. his version of love.

it has to be out of deep desperation. to take his clothes off and actually fuck you - its... unusual. he's distressed about something, though you don't know what and he won't ever tell you. but you won't ruin your chance at intimacy over curiosity - so you're thankful.

you're so obedient. he thinks it's what he likes so much about you. and when you're thanking him just for letting you touch him - he can't help himself but feel that long suppressed and genuine devotion towards you. it escapes him, and eludes him - how ironic. the one thing in all of penacony he has the most control over is what makes him lose his composure the fastest.

you make him lose sight of these things. which is why he hardly indulges in more than making you feel good. he's careful except sometimes he can't be. sometimes you lay in his bed and call his name and make these little lovesick eyes at him and it just... bleeds him. that's what triggers him sharing his heart with you. and it's so brief.

but it overwhelms your entire body. a wave of warmth, a soulcrushing devotion that touches the stem of your spine and crawls into your head. a love so numbing and all-consuming, you gasp and claw at his back and sunday doesn't sever the connection when you feel it. he doesn't allow you to squirm away from his love.

i think it's only painful briefly. i think it's only painful because the intensity is so much and that it's usually otherwise pleasant. but sunday does more than love you, so it's more than just pleasant. it's pleasant to the point of making your skill throb and your gums ache and it feels so good you aren't sure what'd happen to you to experience it more than once

he's the most tender when he lets you down from you. you're shuddering and gasping and shaking in his arms. and instead of his usual even voice and limited touch - he's holding you and talking you down. "do you understand now? do you know how much you mean to me? don't forget. don't ever forget."

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[saintaviator]

something something gman tommy something something gordon in stasis. you know how it is.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[archietism]

happy i would have started hormones today if they didn't get fucking banned in my state day to me :) im gonna go cry

[mikakuna]

the body of a slut

[skitskatdacat63]

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS??????

I am staring intently

[fear-no-mort]

favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this

[ratislatis]

I'll find you. For the love of god, I'll find you. Wait for me.

hee hee hoo hoo AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PAIN PAIN SUFFERING PAIN IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!!! TO HELL WITH IT (LITERALLY)!!!!!!!!!

[muffingnf]

A rant under cut that people may not agree with idk sorry i just need to get it out

Sorry i’m home from work now and not done yet another reason why I’m actually pissed off is that George is being treated so fucking badly that obviously people, me included, are going to feel fucking bad for him and hope he’s alright. He shouldn’t have anyone feeling bad for him as HE fucked up, however the reaction is SO FUCKING SEVERE and does not match up AT ALL to what happened that obviously people are going to be like ??? what the fuck.

Crazy ass death threats with tens of thousands of likes, doxxed to the moon and back, removed from Vidcon’s creator list, edited out of Nolan’s video and removed from the Feastable’s IG post, everyone and their mother “taking a stand” against him to make themselves look better, friends unfollowing and deleting any trace of him from their accounts. Like. You would think he did something way fucking worse than what he did. And that’s not even something we should be thinking about!!! Because what matters is that he hurt Caiti!!!! And yet he’s being treated worse than fucking Wilbur! and Illumina! and even PUNZ!!! who has worse fucking allegations against him.

The reaction is not that of people who care about Caiti, or of people who care about victims, or of those who genuinely believe he’s a bad person. This is the reaction of people who just want him to fucking kill himself because they’ve always hated him and his friends and it’s not NORMAL!!!!

[inkskinned]

no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

[ivypond11]

it's been a week and i still haven't recovered </3 so i did a little sketch with this scene between normal and scary because it fucked me up and i need more moments of them comforting and caring for each other

[thronealigned]

no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

[flaticeball]

hey! as the first season of connor bedard gets underway i, your local indigenous hockey fan, have a request of you: please don't let this kid's sure to be marvellous and jaw-dropping rookie season make you complacent with the racism of the blackhawks as an organization. it is beyond heinous that they were able to secure the first overall pick this year for a number of reasons i'm sure we're all familiar with, but i am pleading with the hockey community not to let the racism of this org fall through the cracks.

they drafted connor bedard and handed him a jersey with a giant racist caricature on the front. their mascot is named tommy hawk. they continuously fail to curtail their fans' egregious displays of anti-indigenous racism at games.

i'm not going to ask anyone not to post about bedard. i know he's huge news and i'm bummed as all hell that i won't be able to enjoy the beginning of what is sure to be an incredible career myself. but i am asking, given that his presence on the team is likely to increase the prevalence of people making and reblogging posts about the blackhawks, that you please care, loudly and actively, about the racism of this organization and how much it hurts indigenous fans to see that go unquestioned so often.

consider mentioning it in posts. consider amplifying the voices of indigenous fans and community members about the issues of these types of sports organizations. consider reading up on the history of the person they claim to 'honour' with their hideous effigy of a logo. consider censoring the logo in your posts if you are able to (please do this if you are able to). consider tagging posts so that indigenous fans are at the very least able to blacklist that team and not have to see it.

above all, please just. don't forget about it. don't forget about us. we belong here too.

[god-of-this-new-blog]

“Sorry that it all went down like it did”

[luck-of-the-drawings]

AUU FUCK I FORGOT I MADE THIS. it started out as a single little sketch and hten i woke up with glass in my arm. dont look too hard at the lighting. or the lines. or the anything. this whole fuckin episode was so fun HAHAHAH i love skin and terror.