#I FUCKIN HATE LEE BRO

[classicconundrum]

finally ive read venom inc. and finally i completely understand symbiot3

bro

bro litterly just kiss man

[soulren]

Go spend some time on male pattern baldness or male(AMAB) balding forums/subreddits and such. I did after realizing it is happening to me and the ammount of people who truly don't realize how BRUTALLY it tanks people's confidence and mental health is insane.

There's no cure to baldness by the way, and it can start at any time and there's no way to predict how fast or slow it will go. The only real working option is a daily pill that usually just halts it, but it can stop working or just slow it down or cause major side effects. To regrow you have to use a daily topical solution, or use a roller to wound your scalp. None of these are surefire by the way, and if you stop them you'll just lose your hair and whatever you regained. It's a daily involved thing that might not work and often at best just retains. The best drug, the one that occasionaly gives regrowth, also causes shedding at the start, and can have side effects from growing breasts to brain fog to EDsyfunction(sorry, censoring cause tumblr). Now, those are INCREDIBLY rare and almost never happen but it weighs heavily on the mind of those already spiraling.

But that's just background. What I'm here to talk about is the pure woe you'll see on those forums. People speak as though their lives are over, as though they've lost every chance of finding a woman(predominantly, there's a running idea in such places that women don't like bald men or like them less) or doing anything. You can read countless stories of people who describe that they no longer go outside, are now filled with anxiety and self-hate, have gone from extroverted to never showing their face. And some of these people are kids who lost their hair in high school or even before, or are holding as best they can to a very receded hairline and feel like there is nothing they can do.

And then there's something touched upon far less in those communities, but is important to bring up here; baldness and masculinity. There's the horror of knowing so much of society sees a bald guy as a very masculine guy, at seeing that the best advice for being hot and bald is "grow and beard and big muscles bro". Imagine now you're AMAB balding and nonbinary, or a trans woman who doesn't want to be on hormones.

Just genuinely take the time to look at those forums no matter who you are. Understand what these people go through, what I am currently going through. It is soul-crushing, spiraling, brutal. I have the dream of one day being like Brennan Lee Mulligan or Matt Mercer and starting to lose my hair made me feel like I could never. I felt like and still feel like I would have to be masculine, have to be a bro-y dude, have to look older than I was(I'm fuckin 22). It was the feeling that I could never dress feminine again, never present as a woman when I wanted to again, that I'd always be viewed as a bald guy before anything else.

This is an incredibly vulnerable post for me, and I hope it reaches you all as well in a kind and understanding mood. There's a tendency online for people to joke about baldness, to make fun of it, to treat it as a playfull silly thing but it fucking ruins lives, and it shouldn't. It happens to half the population's sort of bodies and very often. It should just be a neutral thing. You don't need long hair to be feminine, you don't need hair to be feminine. You don't need hair for anything. I guess I'm just saying in general that everyone should be kinder about balding, more understanding, and view it with as much import as they'd view the pixels between this sentence and the next. None at all, I mean.

And for those like me, very feminine guys who wanna keep that and don't want a beard and are terrified of balding, here's some names and I do hope others that see this will add more; Mr. Bruce (also in The Correspondents(band) Alex Ward in LA By Night Jason Carl in LA By Night Cecil Baldwin of Welcome To Night Vale Bob The Drag Queen RuPaul(in looks alone, I know about the whole fracking stuff but this post is about looks) tananasho on instagram Also your mannerisms and style of dress will convey femininity far more than your hair. Yea sure a front-on neutral shot of you may not and maybe you need makeup and stuff, and hell maybe a lot of people might reject you more but it'll just filter down to the people for you.

And to all you artists and writers and creatives; make more bald characters. Try it out. Feminine ones, masculine ones, all sorts. None of the copout nonhuman sort, just dudes and girls and mates and individuals who are all sorts of things and also bald. It might make a few of the people going through the various vortexes of pain that balding causes feel a bit better.

And to those noticing I did not adress female hair loss much here, that was intentional. I am AMAB and currently a nonbinary guy who goes by any pronouns but often likes to present as fem. I learned I was possibly losing my hair and lost two months of my life, no work or going or anything, to male hair loss forums and research and spiraling. Checking my hair twenty times a day, unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to think. And my situation was NOT unique, but it also did not give me any experience or understanding of female hair loss and what AFAB people may go through with that, so I don't feel knowledgeable enough to speak on it. Also living with baldness WILL get easier and you will find something that works for it, by virtue of simply living with it. Things get easier with time.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Strange Stones

Edward Lee: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the strange stones Mary SanGiovanni: me and ed wrote a cosmic horror SanGiovanni: it's about this professor who hates HP Lovecraft Lovecraft: SanGiovanni: like REALLY hates him Lovecraft:

Lee: ok bro so this professor is at this horror convention to talk about how much HP Lovecraft sucks Lovecraft: hey! Lee: oh it's not me bro, i think you're cool, it's this professor, he's the one saying it Lee: in the story, bro Lovecraft: Lovecraft: oh ok then

Lee: like, he's going on about how Lovecraft is a shitty writer who sucks Lovecraft: hey, come on! Lee: i'm not saying it, bro SanGiovanni: yeah howard don't commit the fundamental attribution error Lee: yeah bro i don't know what this but don't do it bro

SanGiovanni: so the professor is all "HP Lovecraft sucks ass, he can't write" Lee: oh and he's racist, bro, don't forget that SanGiovanni: oh that's right, AND he's racist SanGiovanni: thanks ed Lee: no prob bro

SanGiovanni: so Lovecraft was racist August Derleth: only as racist as the average man of his time!! SanGiovanni: and a shitty writer Derleth: only as shitty as the average writer of his time!! Lovecraft:

SanGiovanni: and the prof is all "we should stop talking about Lovecraft, who sucks, and start talking about better authors like Poe or Shelley" Lovecraft: come on!! Mary Shelley: haha i like this guy, he sounds like he's got the right idea Poe: yeah he's not entirely wrong

Lee: but check this bro Lee: this prof loves horror conventions cuz he's always getting laid Lee: these cons are just FULL of hotties looking to score Lee: you know how horror chicks are Lee: FREAK-EE SanGiovanni: and their tits--! Lee: oh man, bro, the tits are fuckin' bangin

Lee: bro so the girls at this convention have got some huge boobs SanGiovanni: some real serious honkers Lee: a real set of badonkers SanGiovanni: packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos Lee: big ol' tonhongerekoogers!

SanGiovanni: so this goth witch gets mad at the professor for dissing Lovecraft and she sends him to another dimension where Lovecraft is real! Lee: and bro don't forget, the witch has enormous jugs SanGiovanni: oh yeah just some ridonculous knockers

SanGiovanni: now the professor is in a Lovecraft world and he's about to find out that being in a Lovecraft world isn't all its cracked up to be Lee: oh yeah bro and he's gotta collect the 5 power stones to advance to the next level bro SanGiovanni: you mean the chaos emeralds?

SanGiovanni: now he's traveling from Lovecraft story to Lovecraft story, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that the next leap will be the leap home Lee: you know that thing about hotties trawling for dick at horror cons? thats totally true bro

Lee: yeah bro you know what i'm saying Lee: we're gonna get you laid, bro! Lovecraft: at a convention? Lee: that's what they're for bro! ask sonia! she invented the whole idea, bro! Sonia Greene: he's right

[guy-busleeness]

Tack tkl headcanons becuz I have nothing better to do

Lee

- He’s a very flustered and giggly lee

-He almost ALWAYS hides his face in his hands or under his hat

-He squeals. No questions asked.

-If he laughs too much, he snorts a bit (my irl friend gave me that idea)

-Oh, he’s so ticklish it’s not even funny

-literally a WALKING tickle spot

-He doesn’t try much to fight back since he doesn’t really believe in revenge in others

-But he will not hesitate to tickle you to pieces if needed

-He’ll fall for those tease tricks SO easily

Example: “AHAHAHA- D-DOHOHOHON’T!” “Don’t what?” “TIHICKLE MEHEHEHE!!” “Tickle you? If you say so, dear!” “WAIT NOHOHOHOHO-!”

-He’ll try curling up in a ball to protect himself

-Raspberries are his mortal enemy

-Like bro- blow one on his neck or stomach and he’s spiritually high-fiving God

-He’ll kick his legs a bit if he’s not pinned

-VERY ticklish on his palms

-Absolutely despises anticipation IT GETS HIM SO FLUSTERED LIKE AAAAAA

-Has a pretty ticklish neck like- if you shove your fingers in the crook of it he’ll scrunch up and try pushing at your hands

Ler

-He’s literally the gentlest ler you’d ever meet

-He’s the type of ler that’ll use cheer up tickles just to see you smile

-He’ll say he wants a hug, but you’ve been played like a fiddle

-The ler that’s prone to giving little kisses on your neck or jawline if it gets you to squeak

-If the lee he’s tickling snorts, squeals, or makes any noise while laughing that he finds remotely adorable, he’s teasing you like a mother fucker about it

-If you have ticklish sides, expect to get poked on them like a piano

-He tries teasing, but just ends up flustering himself

-He uses his height to his full advantage

-Rarely ever a ler tbh

-He uses teases like along the lines of; “I thought you said you weren’t ticklish, you liar!” “Did I hit a sweet spot or are you naturally that giggly?” “Your laugh is adorable! I don’t see why you’re trying to cover it”

-Just flustered myself there a little😅

-He’s SO hypocritical when it comes to raspberries, he hates when you do it to him but then he’ll do it to you just to be an ass

-He gives very soft aftercare

-He’s a fuckin angel I can’t rn😭

[rowretro]

✧𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍✧

WARNINGS: nothing I know of

✧taglist✧: @heeseung-min @jaeneohee @lovingvoidgoatee @neruishoon (anyone I may have missed)

✧CHAPTER 9✧

Just over 2 months into her pregnancy, and Sunghoon has been by her side 24/7. He's even started working from home so he can keep a close eye on her. And in this period of time, y/n has not uttered a single word about it to her family. She was 18, her parents would probably think she's an irresponsible screw up. Sunghoon on the other hand, has grown way more possessive over her.

On to p of that he was extremely over protective now she's pregnant, Every time she'd gasp r trip or feel even the tiniest pain from a paper cut, he was there beside her making sure he'd be able to rush her over to the hospital. It was still a half demon baby in there, who knows when it wants to pop out?

"Sunghoon... we have to tell them... and by we I mean you-" the girl said before turning around to run. The two were at the front door of her family's home. "No... we're doing this together." He said, gripping onto her wrist. The door was then answered by her mother who was screaming at Heeseung "WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN IRRESPONSIBLE PIG!" she yelled as Hee groaned. well this was going to go well...

Why today of all days? everyone seemed so stress and mad over their own problems. Her dad constantly firing people on call, Heeseung having a heated argument with his girlfriend and her mother was stressed over her business deals. "Hoon.... maybe today isn't the right day to tell them..." Y/n said, as Sunghoon sighed "Sweetheart, maybe we should give it some time kay, who knows they might feel better by the end of today~" he reassured.

"UGH I FUCKIN HATE YOU LEE HEESEUNG!" a girl screamed as she left the house, slamming the door. Y/n stared up at Sunghoon, nervous "Are you crazy? you want me to go oh hey mom, hey dad, her brother, I know you're all fuming mad right now but I have news and it's that I'm pregnant?!" she whisper yelled at Sunghoon as he went silent.

"You're pregnant?..." Her mother trailed off, her father shrugged Heeseung stared at her in horror. "A MINI SUNGHOON IS GOING TO POP OUT OF YOU?!!!!" He screamed. "No no- honey that... that's great- I mean you're a little too young, but old enough to make decisions, you have a nice baby safe home... I guess it's not that bad... congrats I guess..." Her mum said. Oh how mad she was at Sunghoon, but she was relieved that it was Sunghoon's baby.

"y-you aren't mad?" the girl asked, teary eyed "Of course Im mad, im disappointed... but to be fair we did kind of expect it... how far long are you?" the woman asked "2 months..." she trailed off as the woman smiled "If you ever need help or anything, we'll be here for you... ok?" her mom reassured, hugging Sunghoon. "BRO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU IMPREGNATED MY BABY SISTER- AREN'T YOU LIKE A HUNDERED YEARS OLD?!" Heeseung asked " I'm way older- but in Human years I'm only 21, chill-" he said as Heeseung inhaled a deep breath.

A few days have passed, and Y/n's mother decided it'd be best if she accompanied y/n and Sunghoon on their first ultra sound. "It seems that there are 2 heads" The doctor said with a smile as y/n stared up at Sunghoon in horror "2 HEADS- OH MY GOD I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT WHEN I HAD THOSE GUMMIES-" She said as Sunghoon frowned. "No honey... what she meant is you're having twins-" her mom pointed out as she started hyperventilating.

"TWINS? AS IN TWO BABIES? AS IN ONE EXTRA BABY?! THAT'S ONE MORE BABY THAN I HAD EXPECTED TO HAVE! I COULDN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF A TEDDY BEAR PROPERLY OH NO WE'RE DONE FOR!" She panicked as Sunghoon held her hand. "No no sweetheart... It'll be ok... we're having two bundles of joy, one me n one you, and I'll be here to look after you..." Sunghoon reassured. Her mother smiled at Sunghoon, now a little more relieved at the way he treated her.

✧𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍✧

[shukakumoodboard]

kellllll I'm sleep deprived and bored lets talk fandom nonsense:

5 and 24 bc those are the most provocative shall we say questions

o boy i lov me some provocative fandom nonsense lets fuckgin GOAUR

5. worst discord server and why

ok i hate to be so boring on such a fun question but i have no personal answer for this :') the only servers i'm ever active in i have no problems with, and i think i'm very loud about the fact the gaalee discord is the highlight of my daily life lmao

so i shall simply say refer to this post because that's clearly the worst one :)

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

god. top/bottom discourse. shut the fuck up. shut the Fuck UP i am putting every single one of u who actually gets shitty about that in the water hissing-frog style. i've talked about this before in the gaalee context, but to continue on my soapbox of rage: every time i see someone have a strong opinion on top/bottom for gaalee, the one they assign to bottom is also like, force-feminised in their headcanons in a way i think is honestly just. yuck. this is, i think, worse for gaara in recent fandom imo, where gaara gets woobified into this effeminate blushing ahegao face guy and lee gets like machoed in a way that just isn't realistic to his character. and then the vice versa always makes gaara some fuckin' yandere and lee a simpering weakling which is also like. what show did u watch.

and this is wildly magnified when one of them is trans headcanoned. i'm not even gonna get into that here because i will blow up over it

of COURSE--one or the other topping or bottoming doesn't necessitate this, there's TONS of fic and art that do such a fantastic job balancing the various "roles" without also boxing the lads into weirdly heternormative gender stereotypes. ur shipping the ninja president and a dude who can run at the speed of light and punch through a meteor. why are you butchering their characters like this

bro what if got asked every single question on this list

[katsukikitten]

Sasuke is a fucking edge lord 😂

SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER DOES NENJI HAVE HAIR IS THAT A HAT???

Rock Lee and Guy sensei are pretty bad ass when you think about it.

Also Sakura sliding in her knees to catch him 👀

"I'll drive him to his knees"

Naruto fucking spitting facts 😂 tells Sasuke to fucking train some more old nepotism baby ass 😂

BRO I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIM PULL OFF THAT GUYS FUCKING ARMS y'all please know I had to watch that scene on the living room TV with my fam around and my parents could be a little strict with what I was watching and I thought omg they're not gonna let me watch this but memal was like "So he does like the pink haired girl?" AS SASUKE IS BREAKING HOMIES ARMS

I don't remember much else 👀

When does itachi show up again? Before we learn the chidori? After? I'm just seeing hallways and remember Sasuke getting choked out. I know it's not soon but 👀

Kakashi why are you saying Sakura would have pussied out of the exam entrance?

Fuck me the believe it makes me fucking irritated as hell like it used to

Y'all don't understand how bad I wanted these fucking shoes. We are panning the room and

OH MY GOD I LOVE INO I wish her and Sakura could be friends 🥺

SHIKAMARU choji 😂 mood about the snacks

KIBA oh my god Hinata 😭 NARUTO IS AN IDIOT

Bug man SHINO ugh bro the fuckin tic mate.

Isn't glasses working for the snake groomer? Uh fuck me don't ask me his name but y'all KNOW who I'm talking about. KABUTO thanks Sakura 😂 SEVENTH GET FUCKED YOU FAILED SEVEN TIMES

Also every time Vixen answers one of my Naruto questions about Sasuke I'm like damn being an Uchiha sounds like ASS 😂

SHIKAMARU smart as FUCK yea? Like best strategist

Bro Kabuto pulling out the fucking ninja tarot cards 😂

"Big deal it's all a drag" I'm screaming

JUST WANNA SEE GAARA who voices Sasuke 👀 Kabuto lemme see my own card. Imma bout to make Choji eat that plastic bag if he burps one more time.

Doesn't Nenji hate Hinata?

GAAARAAAAAAAAAAAA that's right without GETTING AN INJURY BABBBBYYYY

Well sound village gonna lose some players girl. Bro is about to fail for an 8th fuckin time

[moonlit-stay]

(SKZ-REPLAY Edition)

This is me writing out my thoughts of each song as I'm listening to them.

Feel free to ignore this😂

-

FAM (Korean Ver.) thoughts:

OK, FIRST AND FOREMOST

I HAVE BEEN HOPING AND PRAYING THAT WE WOULD GET A KOREAN VERSION OF THIS SONG SINCE THE JAPANESE VERSION WAS RELEASED

NOW THAT I HAVE IT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT

IT HITS DIFFERENT BRO I DON'T KNOW

BRO I AM SO HAPPY I CAN'T EXPLAIN

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS BRO I CANNOT

I JUST SAW THE NOTIFICATION FOR THE MUSIC VIDEO AND CHOKED??????

GOODBYE SEE Y'ALL IN HELL

Connected (Bang Chan) thoughts:

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

I AM NOT READY BRO WAIT

AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK

WNAT THE FUCKING FUCK

MY BRAIN CANNOT PROCESS WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

I LOVE THISB SISNG SO FUCKING MUCH SI CANNTKEB

Limbo (Lee Know) thoughts:

I AM NOT READY BRO HELP ME

GPODBYE HIS VOICE IS SO FUCKIMG ANGELIC I AM GONNA SOB

OH MY GODDDDDD

THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING

BITING MY FUCKING FIST I CANNOT DEAL

THIS SONG FEELS LIKE A HUG FROM A LOVED ONE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IN FOREVER TO ME

DOODLE (Changbin) thoughts:

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

I SCREAMED BRO WHAT THE FUCK

THIS SOUNDS LIOE A SONG YOU AHOULD 100% STRUT YOUR SHIT TO

MY GOD HIS FUCKIMG VOUCE IS SO FUCKING COOL

THE POWER???????? HELLO??????

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO BITCJ WJAT THE FUCK??????

OH MY FUCKING GOD BRO NOTHIMG COULD HAVE PREPATED ME

Love Untold (Hyunjin) thoughts:

I'M SO EXCITED

OH MY FUCKIGN GOD BRO WHAT THRF UXIK

WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS SOUND FROM JINNIE BUT HE PULLS IT OFF SO WELL

THE TITLE IS SO FITTING FOR SOMETHING HYUNJIN WOULD RELEASE

I AM EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE

THIS IS AO BEAUTIFUL I COULD SOB DAY IN AND DAY OUT ABOUT THIS

RUN (HAN) thoughts:

OH SHIT

I LOVE THIS

OH MY GODDDDD

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH OH MY GOD

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY BRO WHAT

MUSICAL GENIUS HAN JISUNG

I AM IN AWE I LOVE THIS SO SO MUCH

OH MY GODDDD BRO I CANNOT EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR THIS SONG IT'S AMAZING

Deep end (Felix) thoughts:

I AM NOT READY

I AM NOT PREPARED

HELP HELP HELP HELP

VOCAL LIX YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

THE WAY I GASPED OH MY GOD

THE FUCKING HIGH NOTES??????? HELLO??????

I AM TEARY EYED BRO HELP ME

SOBBING DUDE

Stars and Raindrops (Seungmin) thoughts:

THE TITLE IS SO BEAUTIFUL BRO

UNIVERSES VOCALIST YESSSSSSSS

I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF HEARING THIS MAN'S VOICE EVER IN MY LIFE

HE WAS MADE FOR THIS DUDE ARE YOU HEARING THIS??????

THIS SONG IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS HE IS????? WHAT THE HELL???????

I AM GONNA FUCKIMG BALL MY WYES OUT

Hug Me (I.N) thoughts:

OH MY GOD

OH MY GODDDDDDD BRO

THIS FITS HIS VIBE SO WELL I AM IN LOVE

SPRINTING, LEAPING, CATAPULTING TO GIVE YOU A HUG BABY

HIS VOICE IS SO PRETTY I AM IN SHAMBLES

SO SO PRETTY DUDE I CANNOT

#LoveSTAY thoughts:

Listen, I've heard this song so many times and I cry every single time I hear it.

This time is no different.

I will never be emotionally ok after hearing this. They love us so much it hurts me to my core.

I have truly never felt so loved before.

I love the eight of them so much. I will never be able to fully express it.

ZONE thoughts:

FUCKKKKKKKKK BRO

I HAVEN'T RECOVERED FROM LOVESTAY GIMME A SECOND

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

EVERUTJING ABIUT TJIA IS SO ATTRACTIVE????

I CANNOT FUCKING DEALLLLLL

3RACHA KING SHIT BITCH BYE

FUCKING HELL THE VERSES BRO I AM ON THE FUCKIN FLOOR

Close thoughts:

CLOSE, MY LOVE

MY GOD I STILL LISTEN TO THIS ALL THE TIME ON YOUTUBE BRO

THIS SONG MAKES ME CRY 50% OF THE TIME

MY GOD HE REALLY IS A MUSICAL GENIUS

ARGUE WITH THE WALL

I CAN REALLY JUST LISTEN TO THIS WHENEVER NOW BRO I AM SO HAPPY

Streetlight thoughts:

QUEEN STREETLIGHT OH MY GODDDD

CHANGBIN MUSICAL GENIUS

SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS SONG

I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF THIS SONG. NEVER BRO

Y'ALL REMEMBER WHEN THIS WAS FIRST RELEASED AND HAD THE ENTIRE FANDOM IN SHAMBLES????

God, I forget just how beautiful this song is

I hate to admit thoughts:

This one will forever hurt a bit, honestly.

Especially given the time it was released.

Also, the lyrics? I'm sobbing.

His voice is just astonishing. I could listen to him sing forever and ever.

I GOT IT thoughts:

TIME TO SHAKE SOME ASSSSSSSSSSS

GOD DAMN IT

BRO, PEOPLE DIED LISTENING TO THIS

THIS WILL FOREVER BE HOT DUDE BYE

HE WAS SO HOT FOR THIS MY GODDDD

I COULD LISTEN TO THIS NON STOP FOR DAYS BRO I'M NOT KIDDING

miss you thoughts:

NOOOOOOOOOOO

BRO, MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE CRYING

I sobbed to this song repeatedly when Hyunjin was on hiatus. This one hurts.

My god, it's so beautiful tho.

So, so beautiful.

There's truly nothing this man can't do.

This song also strangely makes me feel at peace? Even tho it also makes me cry??

Maknae On Top thoughts:

TIME TO SHAKE SOME MORE ASSSSSS

OH MY GOD BRO THIS FEELS SURREAL

NO MORE LOOPING YOUTUBE VIDEOS BRO

THIS FEELS LIKE A FEVER DREAM

YESSSSSSSSSS OH MY GODDDD

SO FUCKING HAPPY BRO THIS IS INSANE

Alien thoughts:

ALIEN LOVE OF MY LIFE

BRO?? A MUSICAL GENIUS SHUT UP

I AM TELLING YOU THERE IS NOTHING HE CANNOT DO

Close, Alien, HaPpY, and Wish You Back are the true loves of my life and I would kill for them without question.

HIS VOCAL RANGE IS FUCKING INSANE

Because thoughts:

MY HEART CANNOT HANDLE ANYMORE TEARS, BRO PLEASE

I cried listening to this for hours when it first came out.

Lix uses this in his sunshine vlogs :((((

This duo will forever be one of the best in terms of vocal combinations. Do y'all hear this??

The harmonies???? I'm on the floor.

Piece of a Puzzle thoughts:

Oh my god

This song, dude

It's so beautiful. I love it with my whole heart.

What a fucking combination these two are.

I'm still in awe of this song. I truly am.

Wish You Back thoughts:

I have spent so, so, so many hours sobbing to this song.

I love it so much and it truly holds such a special place in my heart.

I will forever think of Jinnie when I listen to this song. Especially after seeing them perform it together.

HaPpY thoughts:

I've cried a lot to this song as well.

A lot of Han's songs have a way of comforting me when I'm at my lowest and I will be forever grateful for that.

So much love for this man and all of his songs.

Up All Night thoughts:

AHHHHH

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH DUDE

I CAN AND WILL BUST A MOVE TO THIS SONG

GET INTO IT BINNIEEEEEE

I will be rewatching the video for this in a bit

Drive thoughts:

WOOOO

THE SONG THAT IS DEFINITELY ABOUT DRIVING THAT LEE KNOW DEFINITELY WROTE ALL BY HIMSELF

This entire song will always have me in a chokehold, but Chan's verses??

I'm in a coffin, bro goodBYE.

ice.cream thoughts:

LOVE OF MY LIFE OH MY GOD

I LISTEN TO THIS SONG ALL THE TIME

I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT SO MUCH

Can we talk about the beauty of this song please? It's stunning.

Final thoughts:

As always, I'm amazed. I mean that wholeheartedly.

I hope they will continue to release SKZ-Players and SKZ-Records even though this has been released.

This entire album just further proves that Stray Kids consists of eight musical geniuses who truly have no limits to their creativity.

Once again, I am so very proud to be a STAY.

[eunchancorner]

Hello there! Your fics are super comforting! If you don't mind, i was wondering if you would write todoroki getting tickled by bunch of his classmates (preferably male platonic), because he's always stiff lol, tysm!

Thanks for the request! Lol I actually had a really similar request before, but I went with the Dekusquad instead bc Todo was being a little sh-t. Now it’s just Denki getting his boyfriends in on a little plan. Also, Mina, Sero, y’all were no help lol. Bro this fic keeps changing as I write it I cannot focus on keeping it one way to save my life and WHY IS IT SO LONG OML

Lers Kirishima, Bakugou and Kaminari, Lee Todoroki

Warning: Light swearing, Baku ish rood, uhh and a small bit of angst now that I’m writing it wtf

Word count: 1799

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had become a well-known fact around the dorm that Todoroki was something of a ler. He was usually the one to initiate tickle fights, even if he didn’t always win them. At first, people were surprised by this sudden playful behavior from the usually calm student. But it was quickly welcomed as Todoroki was clearly getting more comfortable with the other students in order to initiate this playful behavior.

So it was a little worrying when it suddenly stopped.

The other students, especially Denki and Izuku, noticed his suddenly stiff and tense posture, his returning quietness, and his sudden hyper-intense focus on schoolwork and training. Like the ler in him had been just a phase.

“I’m getting really worried, Kaminari,” Izuku admitted to the electric blonde as they walked in the hallway. “I know he’s always cared about his grades, but he’s even stopped hanging out with us.”

“I know… I just wish he’d go back to his fun self, ya know? I hate seeing him so tense all the time,” Kaminari agreed.

“Well, it’s not like we can force him to… we’ll just have to be careful and hope this goes away on it’s own.”

But Kami didn’t want to just ‘hope it went away on its own.’ He wanted to help. He hated seeing someone so recently playful suddenly so upset all the time. So, he began devising a plan. But, of course, he was going to need help.

“You want us to what now?” Bakugou demanded, staring at his blonde boyfriend incredulously.

“I want you to help me help Todoroki,” the blonde repeated his plan. “He’s clearly stressed about something, so we need to help him relax. I was thinking we could invite him to movie night!” “Uh-uh, no way, out of the question. Movie night is for you, me, Tape face, Raccoon eyes, and Kiri, not fucking Icyhot,” Bakugou growled, looking over at the redhead beside him.

“Come on, Bakubabe! It’s not like he’s saying he should join the squad, he just wants to help Todoroki relax a little. I think it’s very manly of him to be looking out for his friend,” Kirishima said, standing up and wrapping the smallest of the boyfriends in a hug, which was happily reciprocated.

Bakugou rolled his eyes, trying not to focus on just how damn cute Kaminari was when someone hugged him. “Everyone’s his fuckin’ friend…” he grumbled.

“Yeah! And I find it sweet how easily my little Zappy can make friends…” Kiri muttered, just loud enough for his two boyfriends to hear, causing the mentioned one to blush a little at the silly nickname.

“Whatever. But if me and him end up fighting, it’s your fucking fault, Pikachu…” Bakugou told Kaminari.

Kaminari nodded. “Got it, got it. So, what kinda movies do you think he likes?”

Soon all six students were doing their movie night part, Todoroki constantly fidgeting like he wanted to be somewhere else, *anywhere else,* but was staying for the sheer sake of not hurting Kaminari’s feelings (because then he’d have to face the wrath of the entire Bakusquad, and God only knows he’d only survive a couple of minutes).

Sero had created himself a tape hammock hanging high above the floor and was currently hanging out there (no pun intended), Mina was in the kitchen making snacks, Bakugou and Kirishima were trying to set up the increasingly frustrating DvD player Aizawa always made them use when they did this, Todoroki was on the floor and kept glancing towards his room, and Kaminari was sitting on the couch, watching his two boyfriends argue about which cables went where, occasionally casting a concerned glance at Todoroki.

Pretty soon he tried to talk to Todoroki, but the other student didn’t seem to hear when Kaminari called his name. The electric blonde became frustrated fairly quickly and reached out, poking Todoroki’s side, causing the bi-colored student to practically shoot up from the sudden yet fleeting ticklish poke.

“Todoroki,” he repeated himself for what felt like the millionth time, “What kind of movies do you like?”

“Oh- Well, I guess I like older movies? Stuff that came out in, like, the pre-1990s are the kind of stuff I watch,” Todoroki tried to explain to the slow(ish) student, who nodded a little.

“Sooo, stuff like… the original Titanic?” he pondered, earning a small nod from Todoroki.

“Yes, one of my favorites. I just like taking in how they made such cinematic masterpieces all those years ago.”

“That is pretty cool, now that I think about it!” Kaminari chirped, and it took every ounce of Todoroki’s self control not to ruffle the blonde’s hair playfully.

“Finally got the damn thing working!” Bakugou suddenly yelled from over by the TV, him and Kirishima standing proudly over their work. “Alright, Icyhot, pick a fucken movie.”

They were now halfway into one of the movies they’d let Todoroki pick out, Sero half asleep in his little tape hammock, Bakugou, Kirishima, and Kaminari all snuggling on the couch, Mina sitting on the chair, her attention divided between the movie and her adorable polyamorous friends, and Todoroki still on the floor, looking like he was going to get up at any moment to abandon movie night for studying.

Bakugou and Kirishima, of course, noticed Todoroki’s behavior, (Denki was too focused on enjoying snuggle time) and Kirishima was the first to question him.

“Hey, Todoroki? You good, bro?” Kiri asked, leaning away from the cuddles a little, hoping to attract the dual-quirked student’s attention.

“What-? Oh, I-I’m fine,” he clearly lied, unable to meet the red-head’s gaze.

“Dude, you know I’m not going to believe that. C’mon. You can tell me…” he told him, Kaminari and Bakugou finally paying attention to what he was attempting to do.

He sighed and averted his gaze. “I just… how am I supposed to become a pro hero if I don’t focus on my schoolwork? How am I supposed to surpass my father if I don’t focus on my schoolwork?!” he finally said, almost glaring at the others. “If I keep doing these- these stupid movie nights, and being a stupid, childish fucking dumbass tickle monster, I’m going to get nowhere!”

He looked up to see all five of the other students staring at him in silent shock at the sudden, uncharacteristic outburst. He looked away from them in shame. He could tell he made them upset, and the first thing he expected was for Bakugou to yell at him.

So he was both surprised and distraught when he heard Kaminari’s hurt voice.

“I-I just invited you because you seemed tense… I didn’t mean to stress you out… I-I’m sorry…” the blonde mumbled, his voice breaking a little in the last sentence, sounding like he was convinced he had hurt Todoroki.

Todoroki looked back up, and, sure enough, met the nearly tear-filled eyes of the emotional electric blonde, who had both of his boyfriends holding him close.

He sighed. “No, you didn’t stress me out Kaminari… I’ve been stressing myself out. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you guys. I’m just… really upset at my dad, heh… You know how it goes.”

Kaminari nervously looked at him, blinking back tears. “A-are you sure…?” he asked hesitantly.

“I’m sure,” Todo said, extending his arms out and inviting the student into a hug. Kaminari looked at both of his boyfriends, who nodded and let him go, and practically dived into the hug, wrapping his arms around his friend (and, yes, Mina nearly squealed, but they all decided to ignore it).

Todoroki stayed in the hug for as long as Kaminari wanted, which ended up being quite a while. The dual-quirked student expected him to pull away and go back to his boyfriends so they could continue watching the movie, so the last thing he expected from the blonde was the pokes he felt along his side.

“Tch- h-hey, K-Kaminarihi, what are you- Mphh!” he held back the giggles that bubbled up in his chest (but saying the tickles were unwelcome was a complete lie).

“Hey, you two, how about we help our favorite little hot and cold bro relax? After all, as his friend, I think it’s what we should do,” Kaminari called up to his boyfriends, who were still sitting on the couch.

Kiri and Bakugou looked at each other before Kirishima got up off the couch and went over to them, sitting beside Todoroki and, as Denki pulled back a little from the hug, began gently clawing at Todo’s belly, pulling a small, surprised yell from the bi-colored teen, who was starting to struggle to hold his laugh back.

“C’mon, Bakubabe! We need ya!” Kiri called up to the atomic blonde, who blushed and mumbled angrily at the nickname, before coming down and digging into Todoroki’s ribs.

Todoroki broke.

“NAHahahaha! Nohoho stap! Ihit tihihihihickles!” he pleaded, twisting, his body instinctively trying to escape the tickly fingers.

“Hold still, Icyhot. We’re trying to help you relax,” Bakugou scolded playfully, a smirk coming to his face.

“Ihi-I’m relahahaxed- NO KAMINARIHIHIHIIIII!” the dual-quirked teen suddenly squealed, and Bakugou and Kirishima looked at Kaminari questioningly.

Said blonde was creating tiny electric shocks that pulsed into Todoroki’s sides, leaving the frosty flame boi in stitches. Todoroki was focusing all of his struggling to push the attacking hands away, not doing a very good job of it.

“NAHAHAHAHA! PLEHEASE, MEHEHERCY!” he begged, squealing once more as Kirishima hardened his fingertips before scribbling all over Todoroki’s sensitive belly. Bakugou rolled his eyes at the two and gently pushed Todo to the ground before returning to tickling him, the other two boyfriends following the movements.

“OKAY OKAHAHAHAHAY! I’LL RELAHAHAHAX! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” he pleaded to the three, and, just like that, they stopped.

Todoroki curled into a ball, letting out residual giggles as the phantom tickles left his skin tingling for another minute or so, before he finally sat up, regaining his breath.

“You promise you’re gonna relax?” Kaminari questioned him, and Todo responded with a quick nod and a small nervous giggle.

“And stop stressing over beating your dad?” Kirishima asked, and again, Todoroki nodded.

“And actually sit and enjoy the fucken movie?” Bakugou pressed. Another nod.

“Good! C’mon, I wanna get back to cuddling!” Kaminari chirped, tugging on Kiri’s arm. The redhead giggled a little and kissed his boyfriend’s head, before pulling both of the blondes onto the couch and back into a snuggle sesh.

They all turned their attention back to the movie, (Sero falling asleep shortly after) and Todoroki felt like he could enjoy it a lot easier. He made a mental note to thank the three later on for helping him.

And once again, the dorms had a surprising ler, and needless to say, everyone was glad he was back.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AAAAAAA THIS TOOK SO LONG I’M SORRYYYYYYYY. But I feel like I flipped from each subject too quickly. Idk, what do you guys think?? Either way I’m glad to finally be done and I’m excited for the next ask I got while writing thisssss

[post-modern-prometheus]

im coming for your brand but i'm determined to expand on the friendships that live in my head jk that's not what this ask is about i just want to talk about peter's friendship dymanics

Ororo and Peter:

immediate squad bros

Bros. Broskis. dumb shit is done.

they think swearing = humor

"hey wanna go skydiving but without parachutes?" "fuck yeah peter let's get a fucking plane."

weed but in a wholesome way. i think it makes him feel more normal.

"haha peter i cant believe you hit your head on the- FUCK my head" you know?

"i want food" "me too" ... "so u wanna make food?" "no." "yeah me neither." "but i'm hungry" "dude me too." "ssscccooOOOOOTTTTTTT" "WE NEED SUSTENANCE" "SCOTT MAKE US SANDWICHES" "YEAH AND WE CAN SAY THAT BECAUSE IM A CHICK" "S C O T T"

when it comes to emotional shit:

i think that she goes to him for hugs. he really tries to be a good listener but he chimes in quite often, and he's uncomfy with giving advice. but he can always tell when she came to him for a hug and not to hang out. she has on multiple occasions walked into peter and scotts dorm and not said anything. and scott is just like "hey ororo." and she doesn't respond, and he's like wtf, as he often is. and peter just walks over and hugs her, and shes like "thanks" and waLKS AWAY. and it baffles scott. peter's always just like 🧍‍♂️ 🤷‍♂️. "what. do you want a hug?" "pppppffffttttt, NO." "jesus christ scott don't get your dick in a twist."

and he goes to her if he needs someone to listen and go "fuck yeah you're right" and nod

i don't have to elaborate any more because we have same brain

Jean and Peter:

at first they ✨hate eachother✨

ok not HATE

but jean tries to be nice to him directly after the whole "i'm your- i'm here for my family too" deal

so he was disappointed in himself

therefore very grumpy

and he was mean to her

so she stopped talking to him

and he was embarrassed that he acted out towards her

so he just pestered her

because he is 12 and doesn't know how to say "i actually want to be friends, because scott cares about you a shit ton and if you're important to my family then you're important to me, and you must be pretty fuckin' cool. i'm sorry so many of the students are spooked by you- but you can talk to me about it if you need someone to talk to. people felt the same way about my sister and she says i'm good to talk to. i'm sorry i was an asshole when we first met."

so the first time he sees an opening to make amends

is after he messed with scott

and then suddenly they were together alone in a room

and he didn't know what to do

so he was just like... "do you want some weed?"

and first she was no! in her head. BUT- this boy who has been nothing but purposefully annoying to her just offered her his version of a peace offering.

so she says yes

and he's like "really?"

"... yeah?"

and so ✨weed✨ like once

and then? friends!

emotional shit:

at first peter goes to her when he needs someone who will take him seriously

and she is always determined to

and he has a hard time articulating his feelings u know

and is about to just give up when shes like "can i?" and points to his head

peter is just "??????? OH SHIT RIGHT you read minds"

and at first she is lowkey offended he didn't remember what her powers were, but then she realized how relieving it was to have a friend who wasn't ever thinking about/ talking about her powers. someone who didn't give a shit about how powerful she was, and didn't think her capable of anything dangerous.

ANYWAY she read his mind and he asks for advice and jean's advice slaps

and the first time she confides in him is when there is literally no one else around

and she wants advice

the thing about peter is that she can only read his mind purposefully because whenever it happens accidentally all she hears is bbbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzz

so he was unpredictable, because she

didn't think similar to him

couldn't subconsciously read his mind/wouldn't read someones mind without their permission

she didn't know him super well

so she confides in him about how sometimes when younger students walk by, she can hear their fear. their fear directed towards her. and other stuff like that.

and she asks him for advice

and he thinks long and hard while they sit there in silence, because he's shit of thinking at advice

and suddenly he talks very loudly and abruptly

"COOKIES." "... what."

and she's like- ok so asking him for advice was a terrible idea

but then

"no, ok that sounds silly, but listen. you could make cookies and give them out. people love cookies, and lee makes fucking fantastic ones! i would help but i'm not allowed to use the oven anymore after the firework incident."

"who's lee?"

"jubilee. i'm sorry- i drop the words 'firework incident' and 'oven' in the same sentence and you ask who lee is?"

"i've always called her jubilee, jubes, even jubilation! i've just never called her lee."

silence

"so you're not going to ask me about the fireworks."

"do you want me to ask you about the fireworks?"

"you're fucking crazy. you're an insane person."

"jeez! ok! what was the firework thing about?"

"no."

"what??"

"no! you don't get to hear about the firework incident! you're only asking because i want you to. and you're not asking because you want to because you're crazy."

"thanks for the advice. i might actually try that. i'll be sure not to put fireworks in them."

"ok, ha ha, i'll see you tomorrow."

then he just WOOSHES AWAY

and shes like "cookies, huh."

anyway

jean and peter's friendship only means so much to me is because ✨juxtaposition✨ you know and scott and peter are fannon besties and wouldn't that make her knocking him out be so angsty and not just so that the writers can about erik and peter having to interact anyway bye bestie :))))

this just means So Much to me

[wooobuddyletsgetnasty]

2K PROMPT LIST

pick one character and one prompt. I will only do the first character and prompt requested! Characters and prompts that have been already requested are off limits! The list will be updated as we go!

Prompts:

“Look at you, all smug. It’s not like I jerk off to you at night.. but you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” —— KISAME, HIDAN FOR @hidanswhore

“I hate that you’re mad at me, but fuck you look so hot right now.” —— KATSUKI BAKUGOU for @femboyneji, JIRAIYA

“We’re not friends, and you fucking know it.” —— HAWKS, LEVI

“The only way you’re getting off, is on my thigh.” —— SASUKE, TOKOYAMI

“Let’s make a fucking baby.” —— NEJI, NARUTO

“So.. you come here often?” —— KIBA, YAMATO for @glennysabelle

“I think you’ll be happy to know, I’m not wearing any underwear.” —— MIGHT GUY (he says it bro I’m cackling y’all are too much 🤣) HASHIRAMA for @softiekage

“W-What are you doing?” —— ENDEAVOR, TOBIRAMA

“You disgust me.” —— MADARA for @angry-trashcan, ANNIE

“I’d love to bend you over that table.” ——ITACHI, SHIKAKU

“H-here?” —— ROCK LEE, KANKURO (bitch I’m doin it this is the face paint fic it’s FUCKIN HAPPENIN)

“Could she/he make you feel as good as I do?” —— MINATO, INO

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.” —— SHIKAMARU, AIZAWA

Pick one of the 13 prompts above, and choose your character!

FANDOMS TO PICK FROM:

BNHA, Naruto, Mortal Kombat, Batfam, AOT

[thatdamnokie]

so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.  

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone​ was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

like

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen​)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

D:

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

[nachohypno]

Nate and Dave Ch. 8

Dave’s POV

“So, let me get this straight,” Leslie started, before taking another spoonful of ice cream. I always liked having a video call with her, she was a nice friend, even when we broke up just a few days ago. “You and Nate went to the forest together, and you both got worried about having to take separate ways after graduation?”

Alright, this is what happened today.

After our little date at the forest, we went back to my car and I drove to Nate’s house. I wanted to spend the night with him, but he told me that I should go back to my own house.

I reluctantly agreed, I knew it was because he didn’t want to worry my parents (Nate is always so thoughtful about other people’s feelings, he’s so amazing!) but they were alright with me spending a few nights with him. They knew I wanted to protect and love him and accepted that!

But, if my love wanted me to stay in my own house, I’m more than happy to comply. I loved obeying Nate, it made me feel like a good puppy boy, and I liked to think that I made him proud of me!

“Yeah, kinda. I did, at least. I always have a hard time trying to know what he’s thinking ‘bout, know what I mean?” I told her, placing my phone on the desk and sitting on the desk chair. I filled her in with the details, skipping the werewolf part of course. She already knew I have a crush on Nate ever since we’ve met, but that’s it.

She snorted “Dude, you’re talking with your ex-girlfriend. You know how difficult it is to know what you’re thinking about half of the time?” I frowned, but she continued “You’re like ‘Hey, bruhs let’s play some football and kick some asses’ and the next few minutes you’re like ‘Broooo, look at that nerd, let’s bug him for a while until he cries’”

She finished, trying to imitate my deep voice, but only coming off as some weird comedic try. I rolled my eyes, barely caring about what she pointed out. We were talking about my lovely Nate and she changed the topic to my alpha attitude!

“But you loved to see me assert my superiority with those little dweebs” I said with a suggestive tone.

Lee dropped the spoon in his ice cream bowl and blushed. “I-it was wrong, no matter how you look at it-” I kept looking at her, making funny faces to fully get what I wanted. “Okay, could you stop?” She said, after a while.

“You definitely loved when I acted like an alpha”

“Asshole” She said, in a mocking tone, before taking another spoonful of ice cream. “besides, my new boyfriend is much more sweet than you” She said, pointing to the bowl full of vanilla ice cream in front of her.

“Yeah, I’d like to see him fucking ya like I did” Her eyes opened up, and she seemed ready to yell at me for ‘being childish and inappropriate as fuck’ “Just kiddin’ just kiddin’!” I said, hoping that it would calm down the beast.

“I honestly wonder how we reached that when we were talking about your date” Leslie replied, and I couldn’t tell if she was offended by my comment or not. “But now that you brought it up, I do wonder if you two made the devil’s tango… If I may ask, of course!”

I stared at her, confused. “What the hell are you talking about?” Devil’s tango? What was that? Was she now a Satanist?

“Oh my god, David. I’m talking about sex, it’s not that difficult to follow the trail of the conversation!” I was pretty confused, to be honest. Why do chicks have to talk in Morse code?

That’s another thing I like about dating Nate (Even when we’re not really dating because he rejected me when I asked to be his boyfriend), it’s just like hanging out with a fellow bro, but he makes me feel warm and loved at every moment we spend together.

I shook my head “He said that he’s not ready for sex so… nothing really happened” I preferred to avoid telling her that I gave him a blowjob. I… I would like to avoid bragging about that. I dunno why, since I loved pleasuring my bro, but still feels weird to think about it. Having sex with another guy, I mean.

It’s okay to do it because it’s Nate. I love Nate with all my heart.

“Wait… does that mean…” She covered her mouth, feigning surprise. “David Walker, you’re doing sexual abstinence?!” It’s like she couldn’t really believe it. That’s kinda my fault, I think. I’m a real god when it comes to fucking. Got a nice size, a lot of experience ‘cause it’s been a few years since I’ve lost my virginity.

“Kinda? Is that wrong? Been trying to jerk off to make up for the lost time but it just doesn’t feel that good” I preferred an ass or a pussy rather than a hand. Maybe I should get a toy? Never been the guy to use those kinds of things, but I’m not going to force Nate into doing something he doesn’t want to. I’d hate myself if I made my soulmate uncomfortable.

She shook her head “Oh no! It’s not wrong. I mean, I’m not an expert or anything and you seem to be taking it pretty well so… It’s surprising, not gonna lie. You used to get pretty mad when I didn’t want to have sex with you. But this change is a nice one, and I’ve heard you also apologized to Liam a few days ago”

I looked away from the phone, mildly embarrassed. I didn’t want to be seen as a weakling or anything like that, but I did sorta like being noticed as something better than an asshole.

Fucking high school. You can’t try to do something in secret without everyone noticing. The corridor wasn’t as crowded as it usually is when I apologized to Liam, so the little shit- the nerd, he must have told somebody.

…And there’s nothing I can do about it. Nate wouldn’t like it. And what Nate liked was much more important than my hate for the nerds.

“And I think that’s really awesome” She continued, with a warm smile “And if Nate is the one that inspired these changes on you, then I think that he’s awesome too”

“He really is, isn’t he?” I mumbled, blushing at the thought of my lovely soulmate.

“Hopefully, I’ll get to meet him sometime!” Wait, what?

“Uh… sure! Definitely! I think he’ll really like you” I answered, not knowing what to say. I just hoped that I didn’t fuck up again. The football team thing went kinda well, at the cafeteria. My bros had lunch with Nate as a favor for me, and they were pretty comprehensive after he walked away.

They aren’t as bad as they seem. Most of them just want to play football and their reputation gets dirty from me and my closer bros doings.

“Leslie?” Someone said outside of Lee’s room, and she opened her eyes up in surprise. She grabbed the phone and threw it over to his bed, and my view of my ex’s bedroom went black as the phone fell on the bed. His parents were really conservative douches and wouldn’t let her chat with “troublemaker guys”. Fuck them.

“Come in!” She said, and sound paper sheets could be heard before the door opened “Just eating some ice cream and chatting with Martha”

“Hmmhm…” The grunt sounded male-like, so I assumed it was his father the one who entered the room. That was confirmed after Leslie’s father said “Well, say hi to Martha for me and don’t eat all the ice cream before dinner is ready”

“Yes sir!” Lee answered, in a funny voice. I covered my mouth to avoid chuckling and giving away the lie, as some footsteps were heard and the door was closed again. Leslie got up from her desk chair and walked towards the phone on her bed, picking it up and going back to his desk “Sorry for that”

At that moment, I couldn’t hold on any longer and just bursted in laughter. “At least, they knock the door or say something now instead of just going in when they think I’ve been isolated for too long” She pointed out, giving a little sigh of embarrassment.

“It’s- It’s okay,” I managed to say, after recovering my breath. “It ain’t like we were sex chatting or anything, unless you’d like to see my-”

“You know what, I have to go and see if mom needs any help. See you tomorrow! And go to sleep early, remember that the guys have that plan for before class!” She interrupted me with a smile and ended the call.

I shook my head. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not good to try and pretend I still love her, she’s like my best friend. But I love Nate now, and he was the most important thing in the world for me. If it were for me, I would have ended the call as soon as I started it, but I dunno what crossed my mind.

Nice to hear that she thinks good of Nate, though. One step closer to letting this secret out of the fuckin’ closet.

I checked my messages, wanting to see if Nate had answered me already. And he did!

[I’ll return your varsity jacket tomorrow, promise!] He said on his text.

I smiled, a feeling of warmness taking over my body as I texted back [Lol, u can keep it as long as u want, bro]

After our date, the forest started to get colder and colder, so I gave Nate my varsity jacket since I was in werewolf form, and after a few minutes of arguing to not return it to me, he accepted the defeat and took the jacket with him at home.

Now I was back in my human form, and I still felt warm, just thinking about my bro.

[Nah, it looks cuter on you, puppy boy]

[I’ll make sure to wear it + often, then!] I texted, before putting down the phone and remembering. It was time for a little workout!

My soulmate said that he liked my big muscles. It wasn’t a hard job to keep them that way, but I couldn’t take any risks when it came to the stuff my love liked. I decided to work out even more than what I did normally, hitting heavier weights at the gym and doing a few exercises at home.

I dropped to the floor and started with some push-ups, before grabbing the dumbbells from under my bed and doing some curls. I could feel my strong muscles burning already, and it felt amazing. Mix that with the feeling I have when I make my love proud and you have a pretty amazing feeling!

After my curls were done, I grabbed the phone again and opened Nate’s chat.

[You don’t have to do stuff just to make me happy, okay puppy boy?] He said.

Look at him, always wanting to make me feel better. I couldn’t wait for tomorrow so we could sneak into the janitor’s closet and make out again. I wanted to make him feel loved like he deserved. He was truly an amazing bro…

I shook my head. Right, workout time!

[Its okay, babe. I like it 2! Bsides, it’s not like u ordered me 2 do so 😘]

After that, I did a few sets of crunches. My abs had to be in perfect shape.

I took off my shirt and placed the bowser collar around my neck, before walking to my bathroom and getting in front of the mirror. I opened the camera and snapped a pic flexing my arm, tensing my abs and with my tongue lolling out like the good puppy boy I was.

I sent the pic to Nate after I decided it was good enough. I waited a few minutes and he sent me a [Look at that puppy boy! He looks so cute!]

I smiled and walked out of the bathroom, then jumped to my bed. My soulmate just called me cute! He was amazing!

I took off the dog collar after I heard my pops shout “DAAAAAAAVE! DINNER’S READY!” 

And then mom yelled at him “DON’T YELL LIKE THAT IN THE HOUSE, WE’RE NOT ANIMALS!”

“BUT WE TECHNICALLY ARE! AND DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO WALK TO THE YARD TO YELL? THAT’S WAY TOO MUCH WORK!” Pops yelled back, obviously mocking her.

“I’M COMING!” I shouted to them, putting on my shirt again before walking out of my room. I typed a quick text for Nate before arriving at the dining room.

[Got 2 have dinner, ttyl my love😍]

Nate sent me a [Lul bon appetit, big guy], and I smiled as I put the phone down 

----

After dinner, Nate seemed pretty tired, so we didn’t talk much. I did send him another shirtless pic, and then a dickpic. I felt very horny when he told me “how cute” I looked, and it was a nice feeling to know that I was making my soulmate happy. He even told me I have cute blue eyes!

And then, he wished me a good night and turned off his phone. I didn’t feel any need to stay up for longer, knowing that I would get to see and spend more time with my lovely soulmate tomorrow again. So, I went directly to bed.

Next morning, I had a nice hot shower, tidied myself and had a quick breakfast (With my mom questioning what was my hurry, but I just managed to mumble a few quick things before leaving the house with my school bag. Though I’m pretty damn sure I saw pops smiling before I left).

I didn’t want to waste any second, because I wanted to surprise Nate by picking him up with my car at his house.

I drove over to Nate’s house, and found him on the bus stop. He was wearing my varsity jacket, and it looked cute on him. Probably because it was a few sizes bigger than him, but he still managed to look amazing in it.

“Need a ride?” I asked him, unlocking the door as he walked closer after noticing me.

“Uh, sure thing. Wasn’t expecting you to be here” Nate said, scratching the back of his head. My soulmate entered the car and I leaned in to kiss his cheek. He scratched the back of my ears and I smiled as the amazing feeling returned to my body.

I was a good puppy boy for my bro!

He stopped scratching and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, before sitting back. “C’mon puppy boy, we don’t want to be late”

He was right, we don’t want to be late!

I nodded and placed my hands on the steering wheel. We would have time for kissing later, now I had to take the love of my life to class. And also go to class myself, shouldn’t forget about that.

I started driving to the school pretty calmly. I knew we still had a good while before we had to enter our first class, but I didn’t care. If my love wanted to go to school, I would blissfully comply.

A few minutes later, I parker at the school’s parking lot and we grabbed our bags from the back seat. “Oh, almost forgot” Nate started, taking off my varsity jacket and passing it to me “Here, looks way better on you”

I could feel myself blushing as I grabbed the jacket and putted it on. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but we were at school now, so I had to play by the ‘secret relationship rules’ or whatever.

After that, Nate walked out of the car and went inside the building. I waited there for a few minutes, before it was safe to come out. This was my idea, since Nate wanted us to be secretive about our thing together. Haven’t told him about it because I was sure he wouldn’t like to treat me like he was embarrassed of me or something.

It was alright, because I would do anything for my soulmate.

I got out of the car a few minutes later, and looked around. Sunny day, seems perfect for an amazing football practice after school.

I walked to the school and waited there, as I noticed a few of my bros starting to arrive. We slapped hands as soon as we saw each other, my bros seemed as excited as I was for the football practice. We had an important game coming up soon, so it was usual for us to be excited.

We also had a little thing planned, so as soon as we stepped inside the school, we started going crazy.

“AHR-WOOOOOOO!”

Students turned to see us coming as we ran through the corridor and they left enough space for us to go. (Truth is, it was mostly for their own safety since we were pretty capable of bumping into someone and leaving them on the ground).

A few guys and girls joined us with our howling, including the cheerleaders, too! It’s our job to keep the school’s spirit as high as possible, isn’t it? Then we’re doing a hell of a good job.

I did notice Nate just staring at the whole scene without getting involved, his hand going inside his locker like we caught him on the middle of grabbing his books.

I walked over to his side and said “Hey, bro! Are you excited for the upcoming football game?”, placing my arm around his shoulder.

“Uh… y-yes?” He mumbled, his little stutter making me smile. Then he noticed a few of my mates looking at us expectantly. “I-I mean… Hell yeah! Go Rottweilers! Ahr-wooo…?!” His howl was pathet- could use some work, but other than that, it was great.

My teammates continued their little party on the corridor, until a professor appeared and said “C’mon guys, let’s save up some energy for learning before the principal kicks us all out!”

Some started boo-ing, but the professor just laughed and entered his respective classroom. He was right, though. As much as the principal loved our team, we should stop before things escalate to a higher level of chaos, much to our dismay.

My bros kept laughing and howling between them, bumping chests and heading to our usual spot before classes start. I remained around Nate a bit more.

“Nice words, bro” I told him, ruffling his hair a bit. “Pretty sure the guys loved your attitude”

He gave me a little smirk. “Glad to hear that, would appreciate if you’d give me a warning beforehand so I can control my stutter” He closed his lockers, books on his arm.

“Lemme carry those, we have literature with Mr. Gomez, right?” I asked, reaching out and grabbing his books as he nodded. “and yeah, just thought that you’d be better not trying to plan things beforehand and just… acting on your instincts? Like I normally do, bruh”

“I don’t know if that has anything to do with, you know, your thing” Nate whispered, looking around to check out if it was safe to talk “But I assure you, I’m way better at planning stuff before it happens rather than acting on the spot. It’s like a fact by now!”

I rolled my eyes, and just carried his books to our classroom.

I decided to take the initiative today, and instead of sitting on the back of the classroom with my bros, I waited for Nate to sit down, gave them a bro nod and left Nate’s books on his desk, before sitting at the desk next to him.

Nate just gave me a little smile and blushed, looking down to his hand again. He looked so cute when he blushed. I looked behind me, wondering if my bros were watching the whole ‘carrying books’ thing.

My bros seemed mildly confused, but they just gave me thumbs up and a wink. My bros are great (Except for Lucas and Butch who are constantly looking for trouble with the nerds and fags… just like I was before) they are just chilled and want to get out of this shitty school as soon as possible.

Some don’t turn down an invitation to bother a nerd or a fag, if there’s a reason to it (Like Liam not wanting to do our essays a few days ago. That was a football team emergency), but since I started hanging out with Nate… they just knew it.

Something was going on, and even if I didn’t explain them my relationship with my soulmate, they were suspecting stuff already.

I looked over at Nate and noticed he was taking his stuff out of his bag, not paying attention to me. It was alright, I… I should do the same. I wanted to be a better student too, so I didn’t rely on the nerds. I should act like one and starting taking-notes-in-classes. That’s how you say it, right?

Our desks were separated by a few inches, and I guess I should have waited until a class at the laboratory classroom instead of a normal one. But it’s alright, I was still close to the love of my life.

As the professor entered, Nate’s eyes turned to him. I did the same, and tried to pay attention. This guy was a jerk, he liked to mock students who were barely passing. Luckily, due to the nerds doin’ our essays, it was an easy grade.

The man started writing stuff at the blackboard pretty quickly. I was barely catching a word but I noticed Nate was writing like crazy.

I tried to lean over a bit to see what he was doing, and saw the nerd- my lovely soulmate writing words with symbols in between, like when you text to a friend over the phone, probably to try and summarize what the man was explaining.

Oooooh, so that’s how you take-notes!

I mimicked Nate’s action with my own personal touch. I tried to concentrate on the professor’s voice, basically putting my mind into predator mode. Focusing on my prey (The professor), I could hear any sound he made. Even his heartbeats, if I concentrated enough. One move and I could jump over to him with ease, but that wasn’t necessary.

I carefully paid attention to every sound he made, and tried to write down as fast as I could, trying to separate what seemed like useful information with chatter. Even if I didn’t understand it at first, I could give it a read later or ask my love for help.

“Worldview is the way of the author to speak about his vision of the universe, the way it works and-” bla bla bla. Nothing he said stuck on my brain, but I still tried my best and mimicked Nate’s actions to take notes.

Hell, this was going to be a long day.

After what seemed to be an eternal literature class, the bell finally rang and the professor stopped his endless speaking. I looked down at my paper.

Hey! I actually did something!

I grabbed it and passed it over to Nate, whispering a “Is this alright, bro?”

He looked at me, confused. I don’t know if he got what I meant, but he started reading the papers and after a bit, he answered “Uh… Yeah, I think so? You paraphrased everything the prof was saying, so it must be right. You should try to summarize it if you plan to… Oh my god” He realized what I was doing, and grinned.

Nate opened his mouth to speak, but remained silent. Then, he grabbed his phone and started typing something. My own phone buzzed and I reached out to it, wondering what did Nate sent me.

[See what you did there! So proud of you, puppy boy!]

He waited to see my reaction, and I wanted to kiss him so much and thank him for his support. I am a good puppy boy, after all!

My soulmate was really the best guy in the whole universe. But still, we had to remain secretive, so I just extended my fist, and he bumped it.

I was proud of myself, I had made my soulmate proud of my actions! Honestly, that’s a relief. I need to get smarter if I want to go to a good university with my soulmate. I can’t slow him down and would never forgive myself if we couldn’t study together because I didn’t try my hardest to have good grades!

Nate gave me one last smile before leaving the classroom. I started putting my stuff back into my bag and left the room, going after my teammates.

-----

Nothing interesting happened throughout the rest of the day, because Nate and I had different classes for today. We did have lunch together, and I asked him to meet me behind the bleachers again after football practice, but he told me that he would let me know.

Apparently, he had to help Sammy with his presidential stuff (That’s my soulmate! Always helping out everyone, he’s really amazing!) so I just nodded and said “Say no more, just call me if you need some muscle to help ya out, a’ight?”

The love of my life looked at me with his beautiful eyes and said “Will do, also going to let you know if the meeting ends sooner than I expect to meet up together. Would you like that big guy?”

‘He’s truly perfect.’ I thought, getting lost on his amazing smell. I shook my head and answered a “More than anything in the world, bro!”

Nate seemed happy today, and I was happy to see that. I ultimately left him to have his lunch in peace and returned to my teammates’ table. It was going to be a long day if I couldn’t be with the guy I loved. I could still message him in class, though!

After my drama class was over (Don’t judge me, I joined it because it would be an easy grade. Also, chicks LOVE guys ‘interested’ in arts), I had my football practice coming up. I was already on my armor and jersey, so it was a matter of time until we actually started!

There was a game coming up and I felt ON FIRE!

I walked into the field and waited for the others to arrive so we could begin with it, but coach seemed to be finishing a reunion with the principal. Maybe it would take a while until the practice actually started. Hmph.

Football is a great way of spending some energy and clear your mind. Trying to coordinate with the team, the strength of the shots, evading the rival assholes and winning against their shitty teams. I loved it!

I took a deep breath of the fresh air and started doing some warm up exercises. Football games always get my puppy side outta me. My wolf side, I mean, yeah. My puppy side only appears when I’m with my lovely soulmate.

Another deep breath, and I closed my eyes to concentrate.

“—And you know the worst part? The faggot might have made Dave break up with his chick with some faggot voodoo or something” I suddenly heard. My ears seem to be ringing!

I looked around, and tried to concentrate on the source of that voice. God bless my werewolf heightened senses, the voice was coming from Butch, a few meters away as he spoke with Nolan, and luckily Nolan seemed to want him to go away.

“What did ya just said?” I walked towards them and looked at Butch. The coward asshole apparently wasn’t expecting me to hear him.

He just turned to me and started to throw excuses. “What? I ain’t talking about you”. But I wasn’t buying any of his shit. That’s a good thing of having heightened hearing.

“I said,” I took a step closer to him, to build up the threat “What did you just say, bro?” I put some emphasis on the ‘bro’ part, trying to sound more menacing. I don’t care if this moron is one of my teammates, he was playing like shit lately anyways.

He took a step away from me, but started frowning. “A’ight, wanna hear it? I was telling my bro—”

“I’m not your bro” Nolan tried to say, but Butch never stopped speaking 

“-that I could have never guessed that fagginess was contagious. I mean, how come that you stop us from beating up the lil’ fag one day and then he’s your new best bro? Have you sucked his dick already?” Huh, now the dork could speak by himself?

He pushed me. If it wasn’t because I was trying to be less aggressive for my bro… because I wanted to be a better guy for him… He would have died already.

“What? Not answering? The alpha is sucking off the local faggot?” He walked way too close towards me, and I pushed him away. It was just a push, right? There’s no problem with that, right? “Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be, right?” But when I opened my mouth to reply and tell him to fuck off, he threw a punch at me.

And of course, even if my werewolf reflexes helped to see it coming and prepare myself, I couldn’t avoid it in time. The punch went directly to my face, and as soon as I regained my coolness, I charged towards him.

It was a good thing that my teammates grabbed him to ‘stop punching me’, because now I was going to fucking kill him.

I jumped on top of him as the others took a step back to avoid me, and started punching his face like a boxing bag. The other guys tried to take me off him, but just managed to make me loss balance so Butch could escape from my grasp.

My former bro wasn’t going to give up so easily, he wanted to beat me. Probably take my title as the alpha for himself. ‘Not gonna happen’ I thought, while avoiding another fist. Then I got punched again, but it wasn’t Butch this time.

It was fucking Lucas.

My teammates stopped trying to stop us, probably because they wouldn’t be able to stop us all and it was getting pretty violent already. Instead, some were just silently staring while a few dorks yelled “FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!”

Two vs one, nothing I can’t handle.

I waited for them to do the first move, and Lucas did it. I moved to the side, avoiding his fist and grabbing his arm. I could easily break it with my super strength, but that would make things difficult for the team, besides causing legal issues for me.

Nate’s face appeared on my mind, like reminding me to try to be a better guy. And that meant not acting like a fucking beast, I guess. ‘Alright. For you, bro…’ I thought, deciding to just try and avoid their attacks, pushing them away at every chance I’d get.

I pushed Lucas away, before Butch charged towards me and I managed to kick him away too. I could feel my head hurting a lot, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I were bleeding. I can heal pretty fast, but the injuries are still there before they heal.

As they tried to get up and charge towards me again, and I got in a defensive stance to beat their asses again, the coach appeared.

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! WHY ARE YOU THREE FIGHTING, YOU…” he seemed about to lose his composure and insult three students, but luckily, he got himself back in line before anybody could threaten him about losing his job. His face was still red, though and the vein on the side of his head was pulsing like crazy.

“You three…” Woah, Butch and Lucas were fucked. Not only physically, even when I made sure of punching hard enough each time before I decided to stop attacking, since I couldn’t do that to the team. If I hurt them too much, they wouldn’t play at the next game, and I knew a recruiter was going to be there.

The coach was trying to take big and deep breaths to calm himself down. “Clean yourselves, then meet me at my office. I’m getting to the fu… To the goddarn bottom of this. Understood?”

“Yes, coach” The two guys in front of me said reluctantly, while getting up from the ground. They headed to the locker rooms to get cleaned up, and by this point, I doubted we would have a regular practice today and we’ll probably have some “team bonding exercises” instead.

“Didn’t you hear me, Walker? Go clean yourself up” The coach said, sounding a bit more chilled than a moment ago.

I gave him a nod, but didn’t head to the locker rooms. I headed to the other direction, back to the main building. If the assholes tried to beat me in the bathroom, I could easily overpower them but that would cause me more trouble.

Nobody said anything as I left the football field, and the coach made my fellow teammates run a few laps around the field, probably to do something instead of just sitting there while we arrived.

I entered the main building, walking through the corridor towards the bathroom. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. Who the hell do those fuckers think they are? I should have punched them harder, to remind them who’s the one in charge.

A nice smell came to my nose when I was about to enter the bathroom, a familiar and warming smell, and I wanted to follow it. I made sure it wasn’t the bathroom’s smell, by walking a few steps away.

Yep, there was definitely a smell in here. I started following it, walking around the corridor still in my football uniform. Honestly, the armor felt nice over my shoulders. The weight helped a lot to calm myself down, and the smell was so good too…

I mindlessly entered one of the meeting rooms, following that amazing smell. I could hear voices inside, stopping as I opened up the door. “I’ve been discussing with my teamies and we’ve written up a list of possible themes you guys could check out—” A female voice said as I went in.

I found Sammy there, along with Dick the dick, Hannah (the captain of the cheerleaders, probably on representation of her team). And then, the love of my life, who seemed to be playing with his phone. My own phone buzzed before he seemed to put his own phone down.

That explained the smell, it was my soulmate! I knew he was still at school, but I didn’t know these… grey rooms were for these meetings. Always thought they were for… I dunno, parental interrogation?

“Dave? What the hell happened to you? You’re bleeding!” Hannah said, and I just noticed I had a goofy smile as I looked at Nate, but he didn’t return the smile. He seemed actually shocked to see me, and I noticed I haven’t looked at myself after the fight.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and noticed Nate had sent me a [R U still at practice?] that I haven’t noticed before. I thought about setting a special ringtone for him, to know when I get a text or call from him.

I looked at myself with the front camera, wondering if I really looked that bad.

“Holy shit” I said to myself. I looked way beaten up than how I felt. My werewolf nature helped me heal at a faster rate so that’s a nice thing, but that doesn’t wash up the little blood that dripped from my nose and the dirt and bruises over my face.

‘I look awesome!’ I thought, but I could get the shock coming from them. A random football player enters on the middle of whatever that is happening and appears to be beaten up.

“Go see the nurse, dude. You don’t look well—” Dick started, but was quickly interrupted by my bro Nate.

“I’ll go with him, you guys can keep discussing about the prom night without me” He said, getting up. I noticed Sammy frowned at him, but Nate just threw him a pleading look, like saying ‘I’ll make it up to you later’.

“Hey bro, got your text” I greeted him as soon as he grabbed my hand. We walked outside of the meeting room and I could hear Dick inside saying ‘Well, that just happened’.

“Hey… Should I ask how this happened or would you rather go to the nursery?” He seemed worried, and nervous, just like he always was. I’m glad I managed to find him today, he made my evening ten times better.

“Uh… I don’t think we should go to the nursery. I heal fast, remember? I just need to wash my face and I’ll be ready to go, bruh” I explained, as he nodded and guided me to the nearby boys’ bathroom.

School should be empty by now, only populated by the guys doing their extracurricular activities. We entered the bathroom and stood beside one of the sinks.

I tried to lean in and kiss him, but he pushed me away. I felt hurt by that, but before I could say something, he said “First, clean up. Then, whatever comes next”

Fair enough, I nodded and leaned my face towards the sink, opening the cold water and proceeding to wash my face up.

It felt good. Doing what Nate told me to do was amazing, I loved him so much and would do anything for him. Even if “anything” meant just cleaning up the dirt and blood from my face, I could be his servant if he wanted me to, and wouldn’t complain about it.

He grabbed a bit of paper from the wall and came closer to me, then slowly started to further clean up my face. “So… what happened?” He asked, the worry look on his face still was there, but I could tell he was relieved to see none of my injuries seemed serious.

“Butch and Lucas. Butch tried to provoke me, then we started fighting. Lucas joined Butch’s side, and I took them down like it was nothing before the coach appeared” I explained, proud of myself.

It felt good to tell the truth to my bro. I would probably lie if I had to tell my parents or a professor, even though Butch was the jerk who started.

He finished cleaning up my face and threw the papers to the nearby bin. “There, good as new” I raised my eyebrow, not sure what he meant by that. I looked at myself on the mirror and noticed that there was merely any trace of me being in a fight.

My werewolf healing factor was amazing for times like this. I could easily be a professional boxer because my wounds heal pretty fast so I could stay on my feet during a looong time at a match.

“So…” Nate was looking around, and I stood at attention, ready to do whatever he wanted me to. “Who threw the first punch? And be honest, Dave”

I didn’t hesitate to answer. He wanted me to be honest, and I wouldn’t disobey him. “Butch did, bro. He started talking shit to me, then he pushed me for a bit, I pushed him back and that’s when the first attack happened” That sorta summarized it up.

My love looked at me as I smiled at him, waiting for his reaction, but he just sighed in what seemed to be relief. “Glad to hear you were defending yourself, I guess” Then he came closer and wrapped his arms around me.

“I would normally order you- No, ask you, to avoid being so hot-headed” He continued, as I wrapped my arms around the smaller guy, listening to what he had to say. I knew I was hot-headed, and never got a problem with that. People respect you more if they know it. “But you were just defending yourself, right?”

I nodded “Nothing but the truth for you, my love”. I think I did a good job, because I’ve been trying to not bully anyone ever since I apologized to Liam (Nate didn’t really order me to stop, but I did the math. If he wanted me to apologize to the guy I bullied to make my essays, then he wouldn’t like if I bullied anyone else).

I wanted to be a good guy for him, so I’m trying to change my asshole-ish self to make him feel more comfortable around me. Maybe he would accept to date me someday, if I went with that route. I would do anything for Nate’s approval.

He started holding me tighter, which wasn’t really a big thing since I was still way bigger than him. “Would you… Would you like to go to the nursery or you’re really feeling fine?”

I grinned, and bumped my head a few times with my fist. “Strong as a rock and healthy as a chicken breast, no need to worry about me, bro!” Again, I leaned in to kiss him. He accepted this time, and kissed me back.

We stood there for a few more minutes, taking little breaks from our making out session before resuming. I made sure to take deep breaths to further enjoy his beautiful scent. I think it was the soulmate thing, but I really didn’t care.

I enjoyed every fucking moment I spent with him, he was truly an amazing bro.

And then, he gently broke the kiss. “You should…” He nervously pointed at the door, with a little smile. He was blushing “The coach may be worried about you”

“No, he’s not. He just likes me because of my ‘amazing football skills’, he really doesn’t care about me or the team” He wanted me to be honest before, and that’s what I thought.

“That’s the usual thing with coaches, as far as I’ve seen online but… still, he’ll get angry if you don’t come back to the field after what happened” he placed his hand behind my ear and start to scratch my hair.

That was my sweet spot, I loved when he treated me like his puppy boy. I loved being Nate’s puppy boy. And it also felt really good…

After he stopped scratching, the funny feeling disappeared as he gave me one last kiss on the cheek. “I should go back to that meeting before Sam gets mad about it. Be careful, alright Dave?”

I gave him one last reassuring nod, “I’ll stay out of trouble, bro. You can count on me!” I felt like a little child saying that, but he was right. If I wanted to be better, I couldn’t get on fights anymore, right?

This was self-defense, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been and I’m glad Nate wasn’t mad with me about it. Those two assholes could have ruined my attempts to befriend him when we met and now they were charging against me, but I’m not having any of their shit. The only two morons of the football team who seem to be having a problem with me and Nate being around.

Nate smiled and left the bathroom, probably heading back to that grey awful room. I sighed and left the bathroom too, getting away from his amazing smell as I headed to the coach’s office. The coach would probably ask what took so long, but I had thought of an excuse already.

I went to the nurse’s office but didn’t found anybody there, so I just waited a few minutes until I thought it was time to return. That could do the trick, yeah.

This was going to be a long evening, apparently. Can’t wait to go back to being with Nate.

-----

Chapter 9 is already available in my Patreon!  And by pledging you also get access to other stories before they go public!

[xtrashmammalstefx]

Ocean Eyes (Douglas Booth x Reader SMUT!)

REQUESTED/ INSPIRED BY: @xcazzax

WARNINGS: Smut, cursing, mild trigger warning

You know sometimes it’s a good thing to have a friend who can be goofy to the point where he’s a dumbass; it just means he’s willing to do anything to put a smile on your face.

For me that friend is Kells. 

We basically grew up together. He knew me better than anyone else in the world, and honestly, I can’t picture my life without the doofus. We were each other’s first kiss (it was during a game of spin-the-bottle and frankly we didn’t want that moment to happen with anyone else) and first sexual experience (I didn’t trust anyone else with my virginity and thankfully he felt the same). 

We are as close as friends can get but nothing more. For us just being in each other's lives is enough. Especially when things get hard. 

Unfortunately, while we got to know each other physically and emotionally well we also got to know each other mentally. I helped get Kells through poverty, depression, stress, and drug use while he helped me through depression, and suicidal thoughts. We were fucked up and we bore witness to that too many times to count. 

So no matter how hard I tried to downplay my dark thoughts (because I hate worrying him when he has other stuff on his plate) I could never bullshit him.

Hence why I was on the set that fateful day.

I’d had a shit-tastic day a couple days before and that night he called me just as I was about to break down. 

“Hey Kells,” I said trying (and failing) to put on a happy voice.

“Uh oh I know that voice,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said. You know like a fucking liar. “It’s just been a real long day. I’m exhausted.”

“Uh-huh, and what makes you think I’d buy that bullshit?” Dammit, I groaned internally.

I sighed and finally broke; tears erupting from my eyes. I told him everything. How I caught my boss with his grubby hands in my tip jar and how when I confronted him he said I could always earn my tips back and proceeded to grab me by my ass. I told him how I was close to losing my apartment because the rent is a bitch and a half to pay. I told him how I was tired of everything and just wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and never wake up. 

I blubbered and he, like the beautiful man he is, swooped in to save me.

“Okay here’s what’s gonna happen ‘cause I’m fuckin’ tired of this shit,” he began. “You’re gonna come to set tomorrow.”

“I have work genius,” I said.

“Yeah you do baby girl,” he said. “With me. Fuck waitressing, and fuck that piece of shit boss who’s lucky I ain’t there to beat his ass. You’re gonna come here and help me out on set, and when the time comes you’re gonna join me in the studio and on tour. You love music don’t you?”

“More than anything in the world but Kells…”

“No buts baby girl. Oh and Imma take care of your apartment,” he added.

“Honestly Kells you don’t have t⸺.”

“Yeah I fuckin’ do!” he said. “You’re my best friend Y/N, my homie for life. I fuckin’ love you y’ know? It’s not fair that after all the times you’ve taken care of me I haven’t done the same.”

“You’ve done plenty,” I said.

“Nah. Nah baby girl I haven’t. Now let me take care of you before I send Slim, Dub, and Rook down there to kidnap your ass,” he said. “I’m booking you a flight right now and your ass better be on it.”

He booked the flight and made me swear on my momma not to go back to that shitty ass diner again. I swore I wouldn’t and I didn’t. Mostly because I wasn’t lying when I said I was tired of everything.

Two days later I’m making my way to his trailer. I got in the night before and was still pretty jet-lagged but I fucking needed my dude. 

I knocked on the trailer door and an older man answered. One I recognized from years of obsessing over eighties rock and hair metal. 

“You must be Colson’s girl,” Tommy smiled.

“Y-yeah, well sort of...um…” I said oozing fangirliness. “I’m Y/N.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m Tommy Lee,” he said stepping aside to let me in.

“I know,” I said a little too enthusiastic.

“Man she pretty much has like every record yall ever made,” Kells said from his hair and make-up chair. 

“KELLS!”

“What? You do!” he said before he stood up and scooped me up in his arms. “I missed you baby girl.”

“I missed you too,” I said squeezing him back. He then let me go and stood a couple feet away. 

“So what do you think?”

“You look…” I gave him a once over. He had on a long dark wig and makeup which made him insanely glam. “Fuckin’ hot!”

“Yeah?”

“Dude you’re me of course you are,” Tommy said.

“I promise you once this movie is released there are going to be a lot more girl wanting your dick,” I added. 

Kells laughed. “I’m not so sure about that baby girl. Pretty sure if any of us is getting the honies it’s gonna be Doug.”

“Doug?” I asked.

“He’s playing Nikki,” Kells said.

“And he’s doing a fine job of putting the real man to shame,” Tommy said just as Nikki and a younger man decked out in Motley attire entered the trailer.

“Well fuck you too Tommy,” Nikki said.

“Relax dude you know I love you more,” Tommy said kissing Nikki’s cheek. 

“Yeah yeah,” said the dark wild-haired man. “I’m Nikki by the way.”

“I know,” I said again with a little too much enthusiasm. “I’m Y/N.”

“So you’re the one he never shuts up about,” Doug said. “Funny he never mentioned how perfectly stunning you are.”

Those words with that accent were just too fucking powerful. 

“Damn Doug that even turned me on,” Kells teased. 

“It’s-uh-nice to meet you, Doug,” I said. “Loved you in ‘Worried About the Boy’ by the way.”

“Oh-um-thank you,” he said. 

“Yeah baby girl wouldn’t stop drooling over you bro,” Kells said.

“KELLS!” I snapped at him.

“Just helping a homie out,” he said.

“You were pretty stunning as Boy George I’ll give him that,” I said.

“Nowhere near as stunning as you, I’m afraid. Pretty bird,” Doug said staring at me with his insanely hypnotic ocean eyes. No lie I could hear Billie Eilish singing in my head just looking at them.

“Okay, we get it you wanna fuck. You can stop flirting now,” Kells said.

“Shut up,” I snapped at him.

From that moment everything seemed to fall into place. 

The movie was filmed over the span of a couple months or so and Kells made damn sure I was there for every moment of it. Smooth talker even convinced the director to put me in as an extra during some of the scenes. I got along well with the rest of the cast and even had to contain the fangirl in me once again when I met Iwan (hey he may have been a massive dick but Ramsay was one dick I would gladly ride all throughout Winterfell). He was sweet about it though and quickly became one of my best friends. The same with Daniel.

As for Doug well...he was a different, more interesting story. 

He made it his goal to ensure I always had company. If I were on the sidelines handling Kells’s phone or looking over new song lyrics he came up with Doug (if he could) would come and sit by me. He would talk with me and smile at me making those ocean eyes of his shine to the point where I could hardly look away. If I was in a scene he would sneak a glance at me making me sneakily throw death glares at him so he’d know if he was close to fucking up a scene. We created this balance, this...harmony I guess you can say. Everything felt right when we were together, and I could only hope he could feel it too.

Hell, I even remembered what it was truly like to smile…

“Oh my god just tell him already baby girl,” Kells said one day. We were situated at a hotel and he was due to film the scene where Tommy runs around like a maniac wearing nothing but a leopard printed thong. Which he now wore under an open robe. 

“Tell him what Kells?” 

“Why you gotta bullshit me, babe? You know you can’t so why bother?”

“Remind me why I’m still friends with you?”

“Because you love me and your beautiful god-daughter too much to ever leave us,” he said. “And because we love you too much to let you go.” He then tucked a piece of his wig behind his ear. “That’s beside the point though. You are clearly fallin’ hard for Doug and he is clearly way into you.”

“Yeah...right,” I scoffed at the idea. Doug was a great guy, and perfect...far to perfect to get mixed up in…

“Yo, don’t even do that right now baby girl,” Kells said, elbows on his knees now. 

“Do what?”

“Belittle yourself like that,” he said. “That ain’t the Y/N I know. That bad bitch would never think so low of herself or deny herself what makes her happy. So why it gotta be like that?”

I sighed. “I just...I’m trying to spare us the pain I know is coming. I want to spare us the moment when he realizes I’m crazy and decides he doesn’t want that shit in his life and leaves. Is that so horrible? For me to spare us all that?”

“Yeah, it is. ‘Cause you’re not crazy,” Kells said.

“You of all people know that isn’t true,” I said.

“You’re not fucking crazy a’ight? And Doug...he would NEVER do something that fucked up,” Kells said. “Especially to you.”

“I thought the same about my ex’s,” I muttered.

“Yeah well, I told you they were dicks from the get-go. Doug though...he’s different. He loves you.”

“He is something gorgeous I ain’t gonna lie. Especially inside…”

“You see that’s why I love the idea of you two gettin’ together. That crazy beautiful smile on your face is outta this world,” Kells said smiling at me. 

“Fine I’ll have a little chat with him soon,” I said waving the proverbial white flag as we made our way out the door.

“Promise?”

“Of course,” I said. “Do me a favor though?”

“Name it.”

“Next time you wanna have a serious talk with me how ‘bout you do it when you’re not wearing that,” I motioned at the thong. 

He laughed. “You know you love it.” He wiggled his hips while holding up the robe. 

“Careful there cowboy you’re close to having a ball slip,” I teased.

He shrugged. “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

I rolled my eyes and followed him to where we were supposed to meet up with the rest of the cast. 

Doug greeted me first with a hug and kiss to the forehead. He held me still as I lost complete control and pecked him on the lips. He was shocked (in fact I’m pretty sure they all were) but kissed back gently. All around us the guys cheered and wolf-whistled (ten guesses as to who did the latter). 

Blushing I pulled back. “Damn that some good lipstick you have on. Shit didn’t smear at all.” 

“Who says I’m wearing lipstick? Maybe you just make my lips blush,” he said.

“Or maybe your make-up girl knows how to recognize the high-end stuff from the cheap Walgreens shit,” I laughed. 

It was like that for the rest of the day.

That night I had a hard ass time trying to sleep. I was so wired and my brain so awake and excited with thoughts of Doug. I decided maybe a walk around the hotel would help clear my head.

The guys and I had rooms on the same floor and from what I could tell they were all sound asleep. If there is a God may he watch over my angels tonight. I silently prayed as I made my way down the hall. When I reached Doug’s room though I stopped in my tracks. There were noises.

“Hey Y/N would you like to maybe accompany me to dinner sometime? No...no I sound like a twat. Y/N, my love, would you like to… No, too posh. Come on Doug you can do this. You were fucking Romeo for fuck's sake!.. ‘Sup Y/N. I was thinking maybe…” He groaned. “I sound like a bloody wanker. God this is impossible.”

I had to fight back a laugh. Like seriously I thought only high school guys in movies did this sort of thing. It was pretty sweet though I have to admit.

I knocked on the door just as he started trying another line. “Doug, you awake?”

He answered the door wearing nothing but boxers (it was a pretty hot and humid night in Georgia). “Hey-uh-what are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Mind if I hang here for a bit?”

“No, not at all,” he said stepping aside to let me in. “I was just-uh-.” He cleared off his copy of the script from the bed and sat down. “Practicing tomorrows scene.”

“Dude relax. There’s no need to be nervous around me,” I said leaning against a chest of drawers directly across from where he sat. “If anything I’m the one that should be nervous.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I know what it’s like,” I said nervously. “Watching someone you care about walk away and never come back because your issues were just too much for them.”

“I wouldn’t walk away from you,” he said. “I can’t…”

I sighed. “You know what I’m sorry. I, um, shouldn’t have unloaded all that on you,” I said. 

“No, I’m glad you did,” he said. “I love that you trust me enough to be able to talk with me about it. And I’d like it if you talked with me more.”

“Really?” My heart took off like Kells’s drums. Doug nodded looking up at me with his ocean eyes. My grandfather once told me that the sun reflects in the ocean and the ocean looks on because no one knows the sun better than he. That’s how I felt right then with Doug looking at me as though I were his sun. “Weird.”

“What?”

“We’ve only known each other for a short time and yet it feels like you’re as much a part of me as I am of you.”

Doug blushed and looked down. “You’ll always be apart of me.”

I pushed off the drawers and stepped closer to him. I placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek lifting his face so he could look at me. I brushed my nose with his before connecting our lips. He kissed back wrapping an arm around me and pulling onto his lap. 

I grinded my heat against his covered length we continued to kiss and touch. Doug slowly moved his lips from my mouth to the skin of my neck. He kissed and sucked on it as his hands slid up my shirt. I pulled back and raised my arms so he could lift it off. He did and tossed it aside before bringing his lips to my breasts. 

“You’re so beautiful, love,” he said between kisses. “So beautiful.”

He hardened beneath me as I kept grinding. Eventually, after he kissed every inch of my breasts, he wrapped his arms around me, picked me up and placed me on the bed. 

He trailed kisses down my stomach until he grasped the waistband of my shorts. I lifted my hips a little and he pulled them off. He brought his mouth down to my heat sending a tingle up my spine. He kissed and sucked on me until I was practically writhing beneath him. “D-Doug I…”

My body tensed up and I released. Happy with the result he moved back up and brought his lips to mine. As we kissed I reached down and tugged at the waistband of his boxers. He knew what I wanted and helped slide them off, tossing them aside with my clothes. His length smacked my thigh, hard and thick. It made me hunger for him.

He grew nervous then. “I-uh-didn’t pack any condoms.”

“It’s okay,” I pecked him on the mouth. “I trust you.”

His body trembled as he reached down and lined himself up with my entrance. “I love you,” he muttered before pushing in. We both moaned loudly as he stretched me and filled me up.

“I love you too,” I whispered clinging to him as he gave me a moment to adjust. After a while, I gave him the okay to move. He did so gently. Thrusting as though he was afraid he would break me.

After a while, I was anything but gentle. When his thrusts picked up the pace a little the feeling was so intense I dug my nails into his back. He groaned but kept at it. My left hand then traveled downward not stopping until it grasped his perfectly round ass cheek. This caught him off guard and with a groaned he thrust right into my sweet spot.

I moaned so loud it was almost a scream and started feeling the tension build up again.

The tension grew and grew. My toes curled and I felt myself tighten around him. Suddenly it was like something inside me snapped. I moaned so loudly I hoped no one was awoken by it, as I covered Doug’s length in my juices. 

Doug’s thrusts became sloppy until with an equally loud, “FUCK! Uh, uh…” he painted the inside of me with his seed. His body trembled as he emptied himself inside me. 

Afterward, he collapsed beside me and enveloped me in his arms. 

I woke up the next morning sore and in bliss. Doug was beside me still slumbering with his arm draped over my stomach. I was about to nudge him awake when someone started knocking violently on the door.

“YO LOVEBIRDS WE’RE DUE AT THE POOL IN TEN!” Kells shouted from the other side of the door, arousing Doug from his sleep.

“GOOD FUCKING MORNING TO YOU TOO, KELLS!” I shouted back. “WAIT… HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW I WAS EVEN IN HERE?!”

“YOU AND DOUG ARE LOUD AS FUCK! DO YOU KNOW THAT?!” Iwan shouted slightly annoyed. 

“IT’S LIKE TRYING TO SLEEP TO A BLOODY PORNO MATE!” Daniel chimed in.

I cringed so hard as Doug chuckled beside me.

“SORRY!” Doug and I shouted back at the same time. 

“Jinx you owe me a shag,” Doug said getting on top of me.

“That’s not how it goes babe,” I laughed.

“I know,” he said kissing my swollen lips. “Still want a shag though.”

“Maybe later when they’re not spying on us,” I said.

“LATER SOUNDS GOOD!” Kells answered for Doug.

“Honestly I dunno how you survived all these years with him,” Doug said getting out of bed. 

“With great difficulty and weed,” I said following him to the bathroom. We took a quick shower, barely managing to not go for round two right then and there, and got dressed (Doug loaned me some clothes so I would have to double back to my room). Once we were ready we opened the door to reveal our three idiots waiting in the hall with stupid smiles plastered on their faces.

“Dude I’m only gonna say this once. She was and is my homie first. So if you hurt her I won’t hesitate to kill your ass,” Kells said staring down the much shorter Brit. “Deal?”

“Trust me if I hurt her I’ll kill my fucking self and spare you the trouble mate,” Doug said. 

Kells relaxed then and smiled. “Welcome to the family bro.”

I watched as the two loves of my life embraced forever sealing our bond as a family. 

And we were. We truly were.

Just me, my best friend, and my ocean eyed lover.

Together forever, no matter whatever.

[hwangskz]

excuse me, do you have a boyfriend? | bad boy! felix

so i was lurking on tumblr at 5am a few days ago and got inspired for this by @chenle 's anon lmao thank u i guess skjshd

• "are you jamaican? 'cause jamaican me fall for you ;)" - you know who

• u read another note from the same guy who's been following u around for quite a few weeks now

• and as u slam ur locker shut (trying to look cool (⌐■_■))

• but then

• "hello there"

• "JSHSBA AAAAAA-"

• "OH MY GOD IM SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE U !!!! IT'S JUST ME !!!!! FELIX !!!!!"

• there goes ur cool aura o(╥﹏╥)o

• "from the next time, TELL ME UR THERE BEFORE U FUCKIN ATTACK BITCH"

• "i ???? just spoke ????"

• "ur voice is enough to give me shivers shut up-"

• and he nears ur face and just wriggles his eyebrows up and down causing u to roll ur eyes

• "shut up i didn't mean that in the other way-"

• "yeah, um, sure"

• u could only roll ur eyes at him at this point

• "also im not jamaican?? im korean, dude" - you, as u look at felix with confusion

• "JSHSB NO I KNOW!!!! but ur still making me fall for u ;))" - felix, as he throws a wink at u in the end, and u pretend to gag on it which makes him cutely laugh

• u never really understood felix's deal w you, u know????

• like, yeah u remember bumping into a guy after u had joined ur school for about a month and u were late for ur maths class

• and honestly u would have loved to help him pick up whatever papers that fell down (that belonged to him) but NUH UH BITCH UR NOT STAYING 15 MINS AFTER CLASS AGAIN JUST TO CATCH UP ON WHAT U MISSED

• u had once learned that if something's gone, then that's just how it is gonna be. gone.

• so who are u to change laws HUH

• but while u were rushing this boy just???? stops u????

• "excuse me, do you have a boyfriend?"

• first thought : what... the fuck

• second thought : WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS RANDOM STRANGER JUST ASK

• that may have sounded agressive but u WERE FUCKING BLANK

• "w-wait, what?"

• "a-ah, sorry that must've been too direct... i'm lee felix! and i think ur cute"

• bro

• how the FUCK are u straightforward

• "because ur cuteness made :D"

• u dont even know HOW but felix just ended up sticking his nose in ur business with u after that

• his friends never minded??? tho???

• "hey chan i hope u don't feel weird when felix stays with me for too long,,,"

• "?????? y/n!!! i would never oml!!! it's completely fine! u can have 'lix! romantically too, teehee"

• looking at it from felix's side,

• he was carrying the extra sheets back to his science class when he bumped into u

• he obv knew u were a girl because of ur voice when u were talking to urself about getting late

• so u know how in movies and shows and books, they all say that u'll meet the loyl after bumping into them and then u both will gather the papers together and all that stuff

• well that did happen

• ...except that u just ran away without a sorry or anything???

• so felix just sat there in silence for about 3 seconds before dashing to u and, well, asking if u have a boyfriend

• to be honest, this wasn't really the first time he's seen u, u know

• yall have the same english class and he sits right behind u

• he's admired u from behind before

• but probably his Bad Bitch Side decided to show up that day because this boy is actually just a softie behind that bad boy personality jshsjshs

• but seeing u react like that, with ur cheeks all flushed he just :((( GOD he fell in love w u more

• back to the present

• now u know how i mentioned that yall have the same english class???

• well, felix knows ur existence in that class

• however,,,u cant say the same about his tho

• so when u walk into ur class today ur ??? surprised???? when u see felix sitting in ur seat????

• "????? are u stalking me????"

• felix chuckles as he moves aside to make space for u to sit down, which u do

• "can't believe u didn't know we share a class together"

• ":OOOO WE DO?"

• the thing is that u just looked so focused on the topics that felix just didn't have enough heart to break ur concentration from it, yk

• "that's one really stupid excuse"

• "y/N-"

• however, that day in class, u couldn't help but look at felix

• how his eyes sparkled when he gave the right answer and everyone awed at his english skills

• how he showed u his new pencil pouch that had his favorite cartoon character drawn on it and cutely laughed again

• how he kept quoting vines to u and then just laughed heartily again

• are u taking a liking towards felix?

• maybe it had been a really long time since u had been zoned out because the next thing u know felix is shaking u by ur shoulders (very slightly, cautiously, in order to not hurt u accidentally)

• "y/n? hey? u there?"

• u blink ur eyes several times as u look around the class, trying to get a better view, at what looked like ur classmates leaving for their home

• u pack up ur stuff and ur ready to go before felix tugs on ur hoodie sleeve

• jesus CHRIST who taught him to be this cute

• "do u wanna walk home, maybe..?"

• u would have rejected the offer

• "sure"

• maybe that answer was just lying on the tip of ur tongue

• maybe u are taking a liking towards felix

• so yall are on ur way to ur home, in silence

• not that it was awkward

• it felt nice like this

• it felt nice to be with him, like this.

• "hey y/n?"

• "hm?"

• he looks over at u, making sure u know he's sincere about whatever he's gonna say next

• "aren't u tired of me?"

• ??????

• "what do u mean 'tired' of you?"

• "i mean, i'm always lurking around u. never with my friends. i'm always trying to talk to u, disturb u. how have u not gotten rid of me yet?"

• u think for a moment

• think about the time when u first met him

• well obviously u were disturbed

• but u didn't mind it tho

• and unlike other times when u felt lonely, he actually made it feel like someone really had ur back

• even if he kept pushing through ur shell

• actually

• ur pretty fucking glad he did

• "because i like being with you."

• and FELIX JUST SKBSBS STOPS WALKING AND GOES ??????

• "??????? DONT U HATE ME THO"

• "never said that." - you, as u turn around trying to open ur door

• and there he goes again, mouth hanging open and his heart beating at full speed once again because of u

• “wh- in what SENSE DO U LIKE BEING WITH ME-”

• “i’ll leave it to ur imagination”

• and like that, u just turned around and closed the door to ur house, leaving a burning red felix behind

• next day when u reached ur school, u went to ur locker, yk, waiting for the day to go on like a normal one

• except... it wasn’t

• felix stood in front of ur locker, a bright smile on his face and a bag of chocolates in his hand

• “y/n!!!!!! good morning!!!!! ヾ(＠⌒▽⌒＠)ﾉ !!!!”

• “felix what are u doing in front of my lo-”

• he didn’t even let u finish before he shoved the chocolates in ur face

• “i brought something for u!!!”

• and like this, the entire day, felix was acting ESPECIALLY clingy to u

• u didn’t mind it tho

• but before school ended today

• “y/n! wait for me!”

• u look up to see a familiar face

• namely. hwang hyunjin

• running towards u

• “hey! it’s been a while, huh” - you, as u stand facing him now

• he pulls his bag over and gives u a hug, slightly startling u

• “yeah... also, y/n? can i, uh, ask u something..?”

• u nodded slightly, unsure of what he’s gonna say next

• “are u seeing someone?”

• u go silent for a moment

• ur first thought : felix

• but then again, u think, ‘does he even like me for real..?’, so so so many thoughts all about felix are going on in ur head

• so hyunjin continues

• “if not, would u like to go somewhere tomorrow-”

• “she didn’t answer u, did she? then why don’t u take a hint, and leave?”

• u look towards ur right to see the person who had occupied ur mind

• YALL ALREADY K N O W THIS IS LEE FELIX

• “felix you don’t need to-”

• “is s/he/they your girl/boyfriend/partner?”

• this was just a question from hyunjin, so why did make you stop talking?

• why did it do something to your heart?

• “yes.”

• and with that, felix takes ur hand in his and walks away from the school building, but not very far as u pull away from his grip

• “felix? why would you say something that isn’t true-”

• “because i want it to be!”

• you can’t even form words now at this point honestly

• WHAT IS A WORD Y/N L/N DOESNT WHAT A WORD IS

• felix continues

• “i want it to be true, y/n! from day one, when i first met you in class, till today, i only thought of being with you. i even confessed to you, so so so many times, and you said no. well, that’s fine. but what isn’t fine is that.. you never believed me. you never believed the love i had for you. why? is this really too much to ask for? can’t you ever just believe me?”

• u have no clue what made u do this

• but you stepped closer and said

• “i didn’t answer you, right? didn’t you say just a few seconds before that if the person doesn’t answer, the other should take the hint and... leave?”

• u had never seen felix’s eyes tear up like that

• not even that time when he got a huge bruise on his hand because he tried to save u from that ball in the baseball game that had headed towards u

• and it makes something in u ache

• and ur about to take back ur words when

• “if this makes u better, then that’s that, i guess. goodbye, y/n.”

• and like all cliche films u try to pull him back, but guess he’s just really fast. because now? u only see an empty road

• and guess he really meant that goodbye, because now, u can’t even find him

• u even went to chan if he had seen felix

• so many times of the day, but

• “sorry, y/n. i haven’t seen him yet :(”

• was all that u got as an answer from him

• honestly? at this point, u didn’t even know if u liked felix or not

• “from the looks of u, maybe yeah u do.”

• u look up to see chan smiling and taking his seat beside u

• “look, y/n, i might be a very ignorant person sometimes, but i couldn’t ignore the look of sadness on felix’s face that day. we’ve known each other for quite a long time now, you know? but this is the first time i had ever seen him so in love with someone. 

• being the popular kid of the school, he still was very polite to people. i still remember when he told he felt something for a girl in his class. i just chuckled thinking it might just be a small crush.... but it wasn’t. it isn’t just a small crush for him now, y/n.”

• ur heart just.. physically hurts alot at this point

• “do u know where i can possibly find him?”

• “i’m not really sure, but u can try to look for him in the practice room. he would always be there when he’s down.”

• maybe there’s still a chance left

• “will he be there right now?”

• once chan answers u, u dash ur way to the practice room, not caring about the students who turned back to scowl at u

• u open the door

• and u might just cry

• because there he was, sitting in front of the mirror, legs crossed, hands tangled in his hair and head down

• “felix!”

• before this boy even gets the chance to answer u, u hug him ever so tightly, trying to ignore that he had slightly flinched at ur touch

• “y/n..?”

• u pull away, hands still wrapped around his waist, and speak out the words that felix had been longing to hear

• “i think i like- no wait. i like you ALOT BITCH”

• felix blinked twice before chuckling lightly and pulling u into a kiss

• and once, u felt so warm

• u sure were shocked at first, but when u kissed him back, felix smiled against ur lips

• when both of u pulled away, ur cheeks burning red

• and so were felix’s cheeks

• he looked down and spoke as he played with his hands, turning the ring around his finger several times

• “i thought u would never come..”

• “says the one who ran away.”

• “because YOU told me to leave!”

• it’s ur turn to look down now, because, damn he was right

• “i just- i’m sorry. i don’t even think i have an excuse for that, except that i couldn’t turn down hyunjin properly.”

• felix sighs and falls into ur arms again

• “did u know i was gonna confess to u that day?”

• “u confess to me everyday tho”

• “!!!! no i mean a serious confession. i was really gonna tell u, sincerely, this time. did chan hyung tell u?”

• u pull away and look at him with a confused expression on ur face

• “??????no????? in fact, he told me that u ‘might’ be here today”

• felix sighs out of relief

• “im glad he kept his promise and didn’t tell u beforehand that day. gotta get him a treat then.”

• “?????????bitch?????? IM COMING TOO”

• he laughs and holds u by ur shoulders as he speaks

• “obviously u’re coming. u’re my woman now, after all ;))))))”

• “oh no what have i got myself into”

[sofhyuck]

Greasy Baby

Genre: fluff, greaser!hyuck

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N this au stems from some enlightening conversations with @cinanamon who is graciously allowing me to use some of her ideas, this one’s for you bb ;))))

greaser!hyuck is...a lil shit to say the least

like ye he’s a handsome boi i mean,,,imagine him in a leather jacket,,,hair gelled back,,,yes pls

but he knows him and his group of bois (dreamies hello) are hot shit and he’s not afraid to show that he knows it

him and the dreamies are always seen cruising around town,,, harassing hollerin at the ladies from the inside of hyuck’s beat up mustang (is that a time period correct car??? idk and idc to look it up lol)

he never actually physically harasses anyone, it’s all fun and games (for them at least don’t accept cat calling kids men ain’t shit)

there’s just...nothing else really for them to do around town

the only forms of entertainment come from the drive in theater and the soda shop that all the kids hang out at after school

he attends his local university since him and the gang come from a small town and didn’t really care to leave or have the grades to go to a better school

and you...well you don’t really know why you decided to attend a university in such a dinky little town

maybe it’s because you wanted a change of pace from the city, and maybe it’s because it’s your mother’s alma mater and you spent a few of your summers there

but somehow you find yourself at the school

the only problem is,,,everyone who attends the school grew up in the dumb town,,,meaning everyone already knows each other and has their friend groups and cliques

leaving you to fend for yourself and kind of live as an outsider

sure you make acquaintances in your classes but,,,it’s hard for you to make solid friends when everyone else already knows everything about everyone else 

so you’ve been living your life on campus, smiling at the acquaintances you’ve made when you pass by them on the street, but you never really hang out with anyone after school

your sophomore year you got a job at the soda shop bc college ain’t cheap and they were hiring

surprisingly enough you made close friends through the job, your coworkers went to the same uni as you and the clientele were also in some of your classes

so you began to actually go out more (when you weren’t working obvi)

on day you were on campus walking to your next class and you saw one of said new friends

but while you were distracted with waving to them you bumped into someone and woop guess who????

you guessed it our boy hyuck with the rest of 00 line walking past

he was bouta pop off but then he sees it’s you the cute lil waitress from the soda shop that he’s lowkey seen around and been crushing on for a few months now

so when he sees you stuttering out an apology bc boi is brighter than the damn son and took your breath away

he just smirks and lets out a lil chuckle and just says ‘don’t worry about it sweetcheeks’ with a wink and then he’s off

you stand there for a moment in shock bc like obvi you know who he is even if you’ve only been around a few years who tf doesn’t know hyuck and co

and ofc your friends all saw and were like...b don’t even worry about it he just be like that sometimes ya know

and you’re like yea u right and forget about the whole encounter

but guess who doesn’t ohohoho it’s mister lee donghyuck himself he be thinking about it the rest of the day bc wow you’re even prettier up close huh

and the rest of dream are like...mmhmm ok mr. lee not sus at all we’re on. to. you.

so guess where hyuck ever so casually zooms off to after his classes are over????

oh boy you guessed it right off to the soda shop but oomph poor bb you’re not actually working that day and bb is sad :(((( meanwhile his boys are just laughing at him bc omg hyuck is so w hi p pe d

so now bb is going to the shop every moment he can until!!! finally!!! you’re working again god bless!!!

as soon as he sees you’re working baby sits bolt up right and starts fixing his slicked back hair that he had totally not been running his hands through out of nerves

the other boys weren’t there bc??? they have better places to be than at the soda shop for the 50000 time that day even though chenle and jisung had been there earlier just to laugh at him

but now holy shit you’re coming over and you look so cute in the dumb poodle skirt they make you wear as a uniform with your hair placed in a high ponytail

meanwhile you’re sw e a t i n g bc shit it’s hyuck and he’s still a handsome ass boy and you have to serve his table n ow f u c k

so you sidle on over and give him your usual spiel asking what he’d like to order n shit

and this boy omf remember when i said he was annoying?

well yea he fucking goes ‘are you on the menu bc I’d certainly like to have a piece of you’

and you’re like...boy tf oh my god i want to SLAP him 

but you grin through it like ha ha...funny ok...our specials for today are...

hyuck ain’t listening anymore bc he’s busy mentally kicking himself bc??? really hyuck??? you’re trying to make her like you wtf were you t h in k i ng

so he just points at some random thing on the menu, his head hanging in shame

and yea you’d think it was cute if he hadn’t just gotten on your damn nerves

but, alas, you have to continue serving the boy who had ordered literally just a fried egg but you know who were you to judge

he eats the egg rather quickly and then just...sits there...not doing anything...and you don’t know what to do like you can’t kick him out he did order something and it’s not particularly busy

meanwhile hyuck’s head is spinning trying to think of how to woo you after completely embarrassing himself earlier

after like an hour passes you head over to him, ready to ask him again if he wants anything else to eat 

but as soon as you get to him he jolts upright scaring the shit out of you and he’s like fuck sorry i didn’t mean to scare you 

and you’re like it’s fine now seriously do you want anything else-

but he cuts you off and suddenly...lee donghyuck?? is grabbing onto your hand??? and rapidly apologizing to you for being so Gross earlier

you gotta shake the boy off of you and honestly,,,he’s really endearing like aw he’s so embarrassed what a bb

when you get out of his grip you’re like bro it’s ok tbh i get much worse all the time

suddenlt hyuck is ready to f i g ht like who tf??? i will square up 

in your head you’re like,,,bitch ik you catcall don’t even try...but in reality you’re like mmmhmm sure ok you couldn’t hurt a damn fly

hyuck is angery now like wdym im tough >:( don’t you see my leather jacket and cool hair and car???

and you,,,oh you little reader pat lee donghyuck’s fUCkiNg head and now he is blushing oooooh

in a smol voice he asks for his check and leaves you a v generous tip despite your protests

and by that time his confidence seems to come back bc he winks and tells you he’ll be back

you giggle and give him a lil wave bc...wow lee donghyuck is just a cute shy lil bb hehe

and now hyuck is coming in every day,,,sometimes with his boys,,,sometimes alone but no matter what he’s always sure to, in a respectful manner, flirt with you and chat you up while dream just look on in amusement bc, again, hyuck is wh i p p e d

y’all just kinda...live like that for a few weeks but it’s v clear to e v er y body that there is shit going down between the two of you

like at this point hyuck’s hanging around campus with you too so like,,,everyone and their mother knows at this point bc,,,like i said earlier,,,everyone in this damn town knows everything about everyone

so ya’ll are stagnant, hyuck flirting, you laughing and sometimes flirting back

until one day ohhh boy there’s a new boul in town and he is not ashamed at all

and by that i mean he’s the biggest fucking asshole to ever step foot in the town, thinking he’s hot shit and everybody wants him when everyone hates his g u t s

and this boy has been hanging around the shop, livin his life, waiting for his moment to strike

but uh oh he made a mistake bc the first person he attempts to come on to...is you

and hyuck has been there bc he knows this guy has been hanging around and he wants to keep an eye on you his girl

it was a good thing too bc... this boul is going all out

tugging lightly at your skirt when you come to take his order while he uses the same cringy line hyuck used on you that first day

and hyuck knows you’re a big girl who can handle herself which you make very clear by firmly rejecting him with a smile plastered across your face

but...boy does not and will not let up

and you’re getting more and more frustrated and hyuck can tell esp when you keep throwing exasperated looks in his direction w the occasional eye roll

he would laugh but he’s too busy trying not to flip his shit

until boy fuckin just goes to grab your ass and you immediately move back, ready to reprimand him

but all thoughts are brushed aside when a loud crash sounds followed by heavy footsteps

hyucky had stood up so harshly that his chair had fallen over but he hadn’t even bothered to fix it bc he immediately stormed over to you, loosely wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side 

he is m a d like you thought he couldn’t fight before but now he looks like he could rip a guys head off and you lowkey find it hot but that’s not what’s important right now

the guy is like oh woops sorry bro didn’t know she was taken but hyuck is not having it going off about how you shouldn’t treat anyone like that period no matter if they’re in a relationship or not

and yes hyuck and his friends had been the same way a few months before but meeting you changed his way of thinking and his friends as well

bc the idiots had never had any female acquaintances before but now they have you and you’re like a sister to them except for hyuck obvi bc he’s in looove

anyway back to the matter at hand i swear i keep going on tangents soz

you have to calm hyuck down before he actually punches this guy in the nose and the guy throws some money on the table before booking it out of there bc he’s high key scared rn lol puddy

your boss comes out and is like...y’all good? and you’re like uhhh yea mind if i talk to him for a minute? n he’s like ya sure whatever

so you pull hyuck over to a back room and you’re like,,,bro,,,wtf you good now??

but hyuck is on a roll now and just flat out says ‘i’ve liked you for a while now so will you do me the honor of being my gf?’

you ??? for a second before snapping himself out of it and you’re like ??? hell yea boi tf???

so now y’all are dating woo!!!

he makes sure to come to the shop whenever you’re working

at first he even would miss classes but you were not gonna have that oh no education comes first kids >:(((

and he was like ugh ok fine but he always managed to get other dreamies to be there when he couldn’t just so he knows you’re ok :(((

you get really close with the other dreamies tho so now you’re all one happy family

even when hyuck isn’t at your shift he makes sure to pick you up afterwards

waiting outside, leaning against his beat up mustang …leather jacket on…waiting for you to come out…and when you walk up to him he grabs you by the waist…pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead…before opening the door for you…driving off to who knows where…but neither of you care as long as you’re together…

sometimes you go to the drive in and cuddle up in the backseat making out for the duration of the movie hehe

you climb onto his lap and sometimes you can hear the people in the next car wooping and hyuck just gives them the finger before bringing his hand back to settle on the back of your thigh

ahem anyways enough of that

other times you just,,, drive around,,, windows down,,, blasting music and laughing,,, just living your life as two college students should hyuck’s hand resting on your thigh shhhh

you always stop at the same dingy diner that’s hidden away on some side road

(shout out to steph for this next part love you bb uwu)

and hyuck always rummages through his pockets  for change to buy you a drink, even when you say he doesn’t have to and you know he doesn’t always have the most money he says he wants to

trips to the diner are always followed by sunset drives where you have to remind him to watch the road bc  he finds it so much fun to smiles t you and try to kiss you while driving and you scold him that he’s going to die one day, him saying it’s better to live hard, die young