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twilghtkoo · 2 years

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PROMPT LIST

- this prompt list is for the long term couple from my haechan tiktok series, love foolish !! pls only request up to two prompts max. request a prompt by sending an ask :D if you have any specific requests for the prompts you chose, pls tell me beforehand, and if so pls be specific !!

1. “jealous? i’m not jealous”

2. “can you please pick me up?”

3. “cause i can’t be in this room with you right now”

4. “stay with me tonight”

5. “you know you don’t have to ask”

6. “i just miss you”

7. “because we can’t happen”

8. “come back to bed”

9. “hug me back please”

10. “how are you still so pretty when you cry”

11. “is that a kink you have?”

12. “i remember everything you tell me”

13. “you’re making a mess on my floor”

14. “please don’t leave me alone”

15. “i’ll pay you ten bucks”

16. “what if i told you i’ve been in love with you?”

17. “because i don’t share”

18. “you know you suck at lying”

19. “don’t follow me”

20. “you wake me up at 4am because you’re craving iced coffee? at this hour?”

21. “please don’t cry”

22. “having sex to arctic monkeys is on my list of things to do before i die”

23. “lets just share”

24. “thats not funny”

25. “i’d commit crimes for you, you know that?”

26. “are you happy?”

27. “looking for me sweetheart?”

28. “no i actually hate you”

29. “if you don’t kiss me right now…”

30. “thank you, but i don’t think i’ll last long”

31. “i just need to know that we’re on the same page”

32. “being in love is not a weakness, you know?”

33. “you know i don’t let anyone touch my hair, so feel special”

34. “i’m able to hear your voice from a mile away, but when we’re talking, you’re always quiet…”

35. “i thought you don’t like horror games?”

36. “i thought you weren’t jealous?”

37. “five minutes is all i need”

38. “i got you don’t be scared”

39. “hey, look at me. i’m yours and no one can change that.”

40. “are you sure you want to go there?”

41. “there needs to be two people willing to fix this, that’s what a relationship needs”

42. “no, you’re not allowed to smile at me like that.”

43. “this is stupid. and i hate that i like it so much”

44. “how do you always make me love you even more, how are you real?”

45. “why is it so hard to say ‘no’ to you?”

46. “do i have to spell it out for you? i love you!”

47. “i guess i kinda like you”

48. “i could kiss you right now”

49. “how are you so smart and yet so stupid?”

50. “i’ve never felt this way about anyone”

51. “i could kiss you right now.” “then do it.”

52. “god, it’s cold outside. you should hold my hand so it doesn’t fall off.” “i’m not that cold, have my gloves.”

53. “i’m not apologizing”

54. “you should really work on your flirting.” “but is it working?” “sadly…”

55. “i think it’s destiny”

56. “he’s so obvious it’s embarrassing”

57. do you want to make me jealous?”

58. “you can hold my hand.”

59. “show me where it hurts.”

60. “hey, it’s okay, you’re safe. nothing is going to hurt you.”

61. “tell me to stay and i will be here for as long as you’ll have me.”

62. “i’m so serious about you.”

63. “is it okay to hug you?”

64. “i wish i could be there with you right now.”

65. “i know, i’m sorry, this is going to hurt for a second.”

66. “please talk to me, i need to know that you’re alright.”

67. “i want to help you. please let me help you.”

68. “how do you always know exactly what i need?” “i pay attention”

69. “i like seeing you like this.”

70. “i want anything that you want”

71. “don’t make me choose.”

72. “dance with me.”

73. “can you kiss it better?”

74. “please don’t walk out that door.”

75. “you can shower with me if you wash my hair”

76. “i love you, please believe me.”

77. “promise?”

78. “why are you crying?”

79. “you have no idea what you do to me.”

80. “how long have you been feeling like this?”

81. “please let me take care of you”

82. “you’re hurt aren’t you?”

83. “no i’m staying.”

84. “it’s always gonna be you baby”

85. “i didn’t want to wake you up.”

86. “you. i love you.”

87. “you could punch me in the face and i would still want you.”

88. “you’re driving me crazy here.”

89. “let me take care of you today. don’t do anything back, just let me.”

90. “i trust you. it’s okay.”

91. “i will never not think about you.”

92. “you’re so dumb”

93. “she looked at you like she wanted to jump you”

94. “c’mere, talk to me.”

95. “come over here and make me.”

96. “please don’t do that.”

97. “if you keep doing that, we won’t make it to the bed.”

98. “text me when you get home.”

99. “i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

100. “i don’t hate you.”

101. “i’ve never felt this way before and i’m terrified to be honest.”

102. “you’re so fucking cute.”

103. “i’m not wearing any underwear. just thought you would like to know.”

104. “wanna join?”

105. “if i ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, would you do it?”

106. “say you want me and i’m yours.”

107. “good girl.”

108. “is that my shirt?”

109. “what would you do without me?”

110. “you’re pretty.” “you’re drunk.”

111. “just let me beat this level and i swear i’ll give you the best orgasm you’ve ever had.”

112. “say it again.”

113. “i don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

114. “stop distracting me.”

115. “i love seeing you smile.”

116. “can i hold your hand?”

117. “don’t call me that.”

118. “i do not have an answer for you.”

119. “can we go home?”

120. “i’m only here for the dog.”

121. “what did you do this time?”

122. “h-how long have you been standing there?”

123. “i’ve been worried sick! where the hell were you?”

124. “please don’t yell at me.”

125. “do you trust me?” “i trust you.”

#yeow6n #lf: prompt list #haechan fluff #haechan smut #haechan angst #haechan fic

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sunflowervolvimp3 · 1 year

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PLEASE drop your emotional support steddie fics i need some recs

god i feel like i’m really about to out myself but here we go!!!! i just spent half an hour going through my bookmarks and history on ao3 and here are a bunch i’ve loved!! could name more but here’s a handful of fics and series i’ve loved!! sorry this is long!!

literally anything by oonionchiver. my favourite fic of theirs is you’re divine. vampire!eddie post events of s4, very smutty, soooo well written. anything they write makes me cry. like probably one of the best writers i’ve ever seen. just go through their whole master list and spend weeks diving into the hundreds of thousands of words they’ve written HOWEVER!!! their writing is very graphic. pls pls pls take the time to read the content warnings!!!! very very angsty always BUT happy ending literally always guaranteed!!!

money, power, glory by anonymous. this was the first steddie fic i read and i started it back in september and it’s just finishing up now. the characterization is chefs kiss and so is the angst!!!!! also very graphic, (eddie is literally selling blowjobs in a bar bathroom), so pls read content warnings. some angsty moments, i also enjoy the background chrissy x robin in this one.

dom eddie series by eddywow. i’m gonna be real with you this is just straight porn. like not straight porn as in the hets but i mean just. porn. very graphic porn. there is plot interwoven between each one shot but uh. the main event is the porn. but it’s very well written porn!!! and again. read content warnings. each fic in the series has a different theme, so some may float your boat more than others!!!

camp folktale, summer of ‘86 by cairparavels. gay cryptid summer camp in the 80s. enemies to lovers. some miscommunication. literally it’s just summer and they’re gay. it’s fun. everyone makes an appearance. each chapter has a different theme. lots of background relationships too. karen wheeler is a lesbian agenda. just nice and warm and fun.

the shire is NOT on fire by kissesforcas. the party goes to a renfaire!! very good very nice nerdy fun. not super smut heavy but just like. wow. everyone’s happy. steve’s shirtless 99% of the time because eddie designed his renfaire costume and is pushing an agenda. just nice!!

sticky notes by voidpacifist. after all his fights, steve loses his hearing. metal is the only music he can kind of hear. him and eddie communicate through sticky notes. very cute, but has its angsty moments. steve is dealing with trauma that the duffers can’t seem to let him acknowledge in the show. soft!!

send you all my dreams by boundicamuse. this one is so soft and so cute and so unique!!! basically it’s told like. through notes and letters. really no dialogue. and follows the progression of eddie and steve’s relationship while eddie’s on tour. love love loved it.

the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by greatunironic. god. GOD!!!!! this fic takes place in 2002. max asks steve to walk her down the aisle. a lot happens. this fic broke me. this fic made me sob in my bed for half an hour. it actually destroyed me. i thought about it for days after. and it’s one of the best things i have ever read. like it hurts so good!!!!!

#why am i nervous to rec things. i feel like i’m outing nyself.#although i’ve written about a good majority of shit in here FJEKFNDJFN #fic recs

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harringrooves · 3 years

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Inspired by the #cherrylanechallenge day 1 prompt knife but this is not spooky at all so technically this is just a random little ficlet! AO3

The chair outside the principal's office is already taken when Billy gets there. He lets his eyes follow the trail from the clean, white sneakers up the impossibly long stretch of denim clad leg and even further upwards over the two toned striped polo shirt to the moles peeking out from just under the collar.

Steve Harrington glances up at him, then grimaces. Sighs.

"Jesus Christ," Harrington mutters.

"What are you doing here?" Billy grunts. There's no where left to sit, so he flung his jacket onto the linoleum and drops down onto it, back resting against the wall directly opposite Harrington.

Despite the distance of the entire width of the hallway between them, when Billy stretches his legs out the scuffed points of his boots almost touch the edge of Harrington's sneakers.

"Waiting for Mrs Reyes."

"Yeah, no shit."

That earns him a glare from Harrington. Billy's stomach turns a little at the disdain in Harrington's dark eyes, but it's the curiosity shining through that makes him squirm. Like an ant under a magnifying glass.

"Why're you here?"

Billy rolls his eyes, letting the familiar motion draw out the equally familiar sneer. "Same as you, dumbass."

Harrington huffs and turns away again as they both fall silent, glancing at the door every so often as the minutes tick by. It's not at all a comfortable silence. Harrington's not looking at Billy so Billy shouldn't be looking at him. But the walls are blank and the only other remotely interesting thing is the name plaque on the principal's door.

So Billy traces the letters dutifully, keeps going even when he gets nearer to the end of Reyes and stripes creep into the very edge of his vision. Even when he hears Harrington shift in the chair, moving his legs under him onto the seat then over the arms than back down to the floor. Even when Harrington asks, "You go crazy on some kid again?"

Billy goes round and round the shape of the capital R. "No. The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Harrington laughs. It's loud and braying, and not what Billy would've guessed King Steve's laugh would sound like. He imagined something smooth and dark, something that would exude effortless charm with an undertone of something mysteriously rich and out of reach.

It just sounds like a teenage guy laughing, if a teenage guy was also part donkey. Billy would find it funny, if Harrington wasn't laughing at him. "What?" he repeats harshly.

Harrington eventually quiets. "What do I mean? The night at the Byer's, you went like, fully psycho. Your eyes were fucking dead. Did you get like that again, is that why you're here?"

Finally, Billy tears his eyes away from the plaque and meets Harrington's head on. "No," Billy says firmly. "I didn't fucking- no."

Harrington shrugs. "Whatever. Wouldn't surprise me if you did, sooner or later."

That stings. In California he was good at skating and surfing and babysitting and he was top of his class in English and History. Even after she left everyone knew him as Rosaline's boy (never Neil's), with the blonde hair and the yellow surfboard and the white smile that was a little too charming for his own good. Here in Hawkins, he was the Hargrove kid, the one who fucked and ditched, the one who fought and drank.

Maybe Billy's fine with everyone else thinking that about him, but not Harrington. Billy won't let himself think about why, but he wants Harrington see him. To look at him and think he's better than that night.

"I got kicked out of shop class," Billy bites out quietly. Harrington blinks at him.

"You got in a fight in shop-"

"I didn't get in a fight, for fuck's sake!"

Harrington holds his hands up in mock placation, bobbing his head mockingly. "Alright, alright." He stretches his leg out and lazily nudges at Billy's foot. "What'd you do then?"

"Made a knife," Billy mumbles, eyes back on the plaque.

Harrington laughs again. "You what?"

"I made a-"

"A knife, yeah." Harrington cocks his head like a little dog, some of his fringe flopping into his eye. "You know that just makes you sound even crazier, right?"

Billy just shrugs and lets his head fall back against the wall. "Wasn't for me, it was s'posed to be a gift. For- for Max." Harrington freezes.

"You were gonna make Max a knife as a gift?" It sounds like Harrington's struggling with every implication of that sentence. That Billy would gift Max something. That a knife was an appropriate gift. That Billy would care enough about anything to create something hand made.

"Yeah." He can't help but let a little bit of defensiveness slip into his tone. Billy kicks Harrington's foot away, probably a bit harder than necessary. "It was a replica of that one her character has in that stupid game her nerd friends play. Demons in Dungeons, or whatever." Dungeons and Dragons. Billy's not that stupid, but he's also not that shameless to admit to knowing what it's called. "It was a full scaled up one, even got the pattern on the handle half done."

"That's- cool," Harrington says hesitantly. "Didn't know you cared, Hargrove."

"Shitbird's birthday soon. Thought she'd like it." Billy glances over to Harrington, who's watching him with narrowed eyes. Billy coughs, shifting his shoulders a little to roll off the weight of the scrutiny. "Doesn't matter, that fucker Morrison confiscated it anyway."

Silence falls again, still just as awkward as last time but lacking a large amount of the hostility. Harrington's still watching him. The plaque's lost it's draw and Billy resorts to tracing the seams of his jeans with a fingernail.

"I'm failing English," Harrington offers abruptly. Billy's head snaps up, but for the first time Harrington's looking away as he speaks. "That's why I'm here. They're not sure if I'm gonna graduate."

"Sucks," Billy says roughly. Harrington nods slowly.

"Yeah."

Billy swallows, fingers clenching into fists atop his thighs. "I could, uh, give you my notes."

"Why would I need your notes?"

"'Cause you're failing English." Billy doesn't mean to say it like Harrington's an idiot, but those big brown eyes are wide and confused, like he's never thought about actually asking for help. "And 'cause I'm acing it."

Harrington's nose wrinkles in obvious disbelief, but he doesn't challenge it. He just sighs and lets his head loll to the side, propped up by his fist. "Yeah. Whatever. I'll do anything, at this point."

Billy nods silently. Harrington opens his mouth again, but he's interrupted by the click of the office door finally opening. Mrs Reyes pokes her head out.

"Steve," she greets him warmly. Her eyes slide over to Billy on the floor and her lips thin ever so slightly. "William."

"Hi," Billy says as obnoxiously peppy as he can manage.

"I'll see to you in a minute, after I've spoken with Steve." And then Harrington steps through into the office and the door swings shut once again.

Billy could get up and sit in the now vacant chair, but he stays right where he is until it's his turn to be called in. Harrington looks at him as he passes him in the doorway, but it's obvious that he's a million miles away, frowning at Billy but his mind no doubt occupied by something else.

Mrs Reyes doesn't ask what happened, just gives him a Friday detention and a lecture on how badly his behaviour is going to affect his record and how that's such a shame given his academic achievements. Billy lets it wash over him, not bothering to really pay attention. He's heard it all before.

When school lets out and Billy makes his way out the Camaro, he almost trips over his feet at the sight of Steve Harrington leaning against his car, twirling a knife in his long fingers.

"Here," Harrington says as soon as Billy gets close enough, holding the knife out to him blade first. Billy takes it gingerly and slips it into his jacket pocket.

"How'd you get it back?"

Harrington's chest puffs up in some god awful display of smugness as he smirks at Billy. "Morrison leaves his office unlocked during lunch. Everyone knows, it's like the number one place to make out. I was in an out, the couple in there didn't even notice me."

"That's disgusting. But, thanks, I guess-"

"Don't." Harrington holds up a hand, wincing a little. "I didn't do it for you, I think Max will really like the gift so if anything, I did it for her. And consider this payment for the notes."

"Payment?" Billy's brow furrows. "I didn't ask you to pay me." But now that Harrington's mentioned it, he definitely should have. Harrington's rich, everyone knows that. Billy could've got an easy $100 or some of the good weed Tommy's always talking about Harrington having.

"And now you don't have to," Harrington says smugly. "I give you the knife, you give me the notes. I don't want you asking me a month down the track to give you like $80 or a bag of weed or whatever in return. So there's the knife, aaaaand we're even."

Billy glowers as Harrington grins smarmily at him. "Fine. We're even. Now fuck off, some of us got places to be."

Harrington dutifully pushes off the Camaro, walking backwards towards his own car a few rows over. "Cool. Give me the notes whenever this week."

Billy doesn't say bye, just gets in his car and drives off, studiously not watching the fading image of Steve Harrington in his rear view mirror.

...

Max loves the knife. She doesn't hug him, but she nudges his shoulder with hers and declares that she's going to tie it to her belt and carry it with her at all times from now on. Neil goes purple trying to hold back his commentary on just how ladylike and appropriate for a young woman that is. Billy gets a cuff to the back of the head later, but it's worth it.

Harrington does get to graduate. He leans over from his seat beside Billy's (alphabetical order) during the opening speech of the graduation ceremony and whispers closer than necessary into Billy's ear, "Thanks, man." He doesn't so much as glance at Billy for the rest of the three hour ceremony, or during the party later that night that goes until daybreak the next morning, but it's worth it.

Billy bides his time. He can handle one more summer if it means getting enough cash to be independent when he leaves for college in a few months. Neil sucks as much as always, and driving Max everywhere cuts into the hours he's able to put in at the pool, but when she drags him to the new mall after his shift and right into the blissfully cool ice cream shop, Steve Harrington's eyes catch tellingly on the bare skin between the bottom of Billy's crop top and his tiny, red shorts and it's so, so fucking worth it.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #this isn't spooky at all i'm so sorry 😩#also unedited af #where does this fall on the canon timeline??? nobody knows!!#hg fic #harringrove fic

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somecunttookmyurl · 3 years

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I'm very curious about the research you mentioned concerning CYP2D6 metabolism. Could you post or DM the name of the study? Is your plan to inhibit CYP2D6 by taking CBD or an anti-histamine to increase the effectiveness of the anphetamine based ADHD meds you're taking? Seems like an interesting (and well researched) plan - I hope it works for you if that's what you're doing!

YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD. I’m gonna put this under a readmore so as to not bore the other 3,066 of you with weirdly specific pharmacology and pharmacogenetics talk Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, or a pharmacist, or any sort of medical professional at all. I have absolutely zero qualifications in pharmacology I’m just a nerd with half a psychology degree, a talent for study design, and shitty fucking doctors.

So I first learned about CYP26D metabolism (and the broader P450 cytochrome) in like 2017 from a friend doing a PhD in things much smarter than me. I’ve always been a Feral Drug Goblin (resistant if not immune to a lot of drugs) and she seemed to think that’s what was happening. Which tracks because like. 90% of the stuff that doesn’t work on me is a CYP2D6 substrate (the rest are CYP3A4 so I might have more than one defect, but if there’s something funky going on on 3A4 the effect is less pronounced)

Later discovered I have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS) and like... many if not most EDS sufferers have *at least* one P450 defect . Around 80% or so of people with chronic pain more generally have at least one P450 defect. It’s not something I’ve been tested for because a) even though CYP2D6 metabolism and its effect on drug treatment has been studied for like 30 years, the NHS only started introducing genomic testing for it in 2019 and b) getting a referral would require finding a doctor who knows what it is which, like, lmao. Honestly though we can be about 99% certain I’m an ultrarapid metaboliser, all things considered. Mostly I want a genomic test to see if any of the others are broken.

Now, I don’t know why it took me four years to think of it but over the weekend at 2:30am (I’m not allowed to have a thought during daylight hours actually) that like... logically speaking... if you gave a potent CYP2D6 inhibitor to an ultrarapid metaboliser it would normalise (or at least improve, depending on how many functional copies of the gene I’m dealing with like people have been found with thirteen copies) the metabolic function. Absolute galaxy brain moment.

Of course combining a CYP2D6 substrate and a CYP2D6 inhibitor generally carries a “moderately severe” interaction warning because if you’re alrealy, like, normal that could be dangerous. So I had a dig around to see if anybody had studied that specific thing and whether it was actually safe.

It took me... a pretty long time because this concept is massively understudied. I mean there’s 1001 studies on “does being an ultrarapid metaboliser of CYP2D6 affect [x substrate drug]” to the extent it’s like... yeah dude. The answer is yes. It’s always yes. I think we’ve proved this concept. Don’t think you need to do it for every single drug. We get it. There are a couple though. Both of the studies were only 5 participants, and were done 20 years ago (2000 and 2001) but in both cases all participants showed... honestly pretty amazingly positive responses and no ill effects. Which is why I’m so baffled that seemingly nobody has studied it since. Like “well, this went fantastically well! We shall never speak of it again” The first study gave the participants debrisoquine hydroxylation, which is the substance they use to test the function of CYP2D6 when they do the genomic test. So they weren’t on a CYP2D6 substrate already they were given it specifically for the study. Then they were given quinidine (an anti-arrhythmic which has sadly been disconintues) as an inhibitor. Without quinidine, the metabolic ratio of debrisoquine in the participants after 6 hours was 0.01 - 0.07. Which is, like, fuck all. With quinidine that amount was 12.6, 10.1, 9.2, 2.4, and 2.2. Participants had 3, 3, 4, 13, and 13 copies of the gene respectively so the more copies you have the less improvement you see, but < 0.1 to 2.2 is still huge https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2014903/ The second study in 2001, also 5 participants, administered nortriptyline as the substrate and then used paroxetine (an SSRI) as the inhibitor. After taking nortriptyline for a week, all participants had very low subtherapeutic levels of the drug in their systems. Following 2 weeks of treatment with paroxetine, 4/5 participants had normally-expected therapeutic levels of noritryptiline. The other participant withdrew after 1 week of paroxetine treatment after getting side effects from it but still had an increase in noritryptiline levels in that time so it was working he just didn’t tolerate paroxetine very well. https://sci-hub.se/https://ascpt.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1016/S0009-9236(01)78384-1

Those are, to my knowledge, the only studies done specifically to test whether you can normalise liver function using an inhibitor. There is a case study from 2006 of a 6 year old boy with ADHD who didn’t respond to drugs and was confirmed to be an ultrarapid metaboliser. The authors recommend usage of an inhibitor in such cases

https://sci-hub.se/https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Citation/2006/08000/An_ADHD_6_year_old_Child_Ultrarapid_Metabolizer.25.aspx

I can’t have paroxetine or fluoxetine because I have a bipolar-spectrum disorder and historically me and SSRIs are not friends. However buproprion (wellbutrin) is an inhibitor which I was prescribed before to counteract a side effect from atomoxetine and like I was definitely more functional at the time? But that was way before I had this genius plan, or knew it was an inhibitor, so. There’s been a supply issue here for it since July. So yeah. I’m going to be taking CBD. Amphetamines do absolutely fuck all by themselves so like literally my plan is “taking weed pills to try and make my liver talk to meth properly” which sounds absolutely ridiculous. Gonna be hilarious if it fuckin’ works. I’m going to be doing a proper study and writing it all up and everything. Emailed the researchers involved in the 3 studies to see if they’re interested in my data like 20 years later lmao but if you wanna read the study outline it’s here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TOnToHMH7UhYMFM9qtv-4ZWmaV7Pr6IQeYv6QDAGVrQ/edit?usp=sharing Just gonna keep going unti it either works, or the amount of CBD required becomes too expensive (which would be like 9 weeks max bc I can’t afford to be taking more than 60mg CBD every day forever).

#thepropervillain #bet you regret asking now huh

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shishu-writes · 4 years

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𝟓𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧!

Hi! oh my gosh It feels like my blog grew really fast? I’m really grateful to every one of you and I’m so glad that I get to do what I love while also making you guys happy! My 500 follower celebration may not be the most exciting or original but I wanted to do something different for the occasion! Im putting my WIPS on pause and opening up prompt requests!

Send an ask with a number w/ 2 characters max and I’ll write a short fic or HC (depending on prompt) about it! Both HAIKYUU! and BNHA characters are available!

*depending on amount of requests, I will cap the amount of requests I take on, sorry 🥺

Requests closed!!

The prompt requests will be open until tomorrow at 6pm CST so send them in! below is the prompt list, all credit for this list goes to @marauder-exe !

Angst

“I love you ! Is that what you wanted to hear ?”

“I love him/her, and I know that I shouldn’t.”

“Can you just shut your mouth ?”

“wHY DO YOU KEEP LYING TO ME ?”

“We both know that I should walk away, but I can’t.”

“Wait, he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend ?"

“I lo—-” “No, please… Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me.”

"Could you just take this pain away ? It hurts, so much… Help me.”

“You’re safe here, I got you.”

“Don’t ask her out again, please… You’re killing me, every single time you ask that.”

“Look, he/she wants you, just make him/her happy.”

“If you go, I’ll know that you never loved me.”

“We never were just friends, and you know it.” “I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.”

“SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU!!!”

“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”

“I know for a fact that you’re not “fine”.”

“You’re looking at me like.. you’re disgusted. What did I do? Just tell me what I did, please!”

“What happened between us?”

“Nothing has changed!” “Yes it has, and you know it.”

“Love isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.”

“You said you needed space. You were 5,000 miles away for a year, and you’re still unsure. I’m starting to think that an entire universe apart wouldn’t be enough space for you.”

“I remember when he/she/they used to look at me that way”

“I want you to list every lie you ever told me. Then I’ll forgive you.”

“I don’t hate you. I hate that after all of this, you’re still trying to lie to me”

“I can’t keep this secret for you anymore.”

“I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for.”

“Why she/her/them? It could have been anybody, and you chose to betray me with her/him/them.”

“This will be the last time you lie to me.”

“You never loved me, did you?”

“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

“Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

“Your mind must be a horrible place.”

“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

“And I thought you loved me."

" And I thought I loved you."

" Aren't you even going to cry?"

“I didn’t expect you to wait forever. I just hoped…”

“Did you always know that you were going to leave?”

“If you cry, I’ll stay, and if I stay that will just give you another reason to hate me.”

“I’m addicted and at this point I don’t think anything could make me stop.”

”If you wanna know, then ask.”

“You never asked because you knew I wouldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.”

“We grew apart, and at this point I’m glad.”

“Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”

“When are you going to stop clawing for something that’s never going to happen?”

“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”

“It was easier to believe that the you I knew was dead than deal with the fact that I still have to see you every day.”

“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”

Fluff

51. “You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.”

52. “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

53. “You smell really nice.”

54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

55. “I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.”

56. “If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”

57. “Here, let’s share the blanket.”

58. “You’re comfy.”

59.“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.”

60.“But I want to hear you sing.”

61.“Don’t get up - I’ll do it.”

62.“Care to give me a back scratch?”

63.“I think I love you.”

64.“Your bed head is really cute.”

65.“How about a kiss?”

66.“You made this for me?”

67.Aw, you’re blushing.”

68. Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?”

69. “Let me help you with that.”

70. “I don’t want to forget this moment.”

71.“Are you really flirting with me right now?”

72.“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”

73.“You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”

74.“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”

75.“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”

76.“Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.”

77.“Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything”

78.“No, it’s fine. I can wait until you’re done talking to them.”

79.“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

80.“You’re a big piece of inspiration for this, honestly.”

81.“I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.”

82.“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”

83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”

84.“No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”

85.“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

86.“ You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful. “

87.“And just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hands?”

88.“Wow, you look even better in the daylight.”

89.“I don’t remember ever having this many hickeys. But I don’t mind.”

90.“We could order pizza and just stay like this all day.”

91.“It was always you.”

92.I love you in every possible way.”

93.“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”

94.“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.”

95.“Duck, you idiot!”

96.“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a wand and I’m not afraid to use it.”

97.“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

98.“It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”

99.“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

100.“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”

Sarcasm

101.“Define normal.”

102.“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

103.“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

104.“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

105.“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

106.“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

107.“And you wonder why you’re still single.”

108.“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

109.“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

110.“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

111.“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

112.“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

113.“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

114.“My middle finger salutes you.”

115.“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

116.Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

117.“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

118.“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

119.“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

120.“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

121.“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

122.“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

123.“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

124.“I need therapy after this.”

125.“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

126.“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

127.“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

128.“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

129.“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

130.“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

131.“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

132.“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

133.“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

134.“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

135.“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

136.“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

137.“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

138.“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

139.“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

140.“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

141.“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

142.“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

143.“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

144.“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

145.“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

146.“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

147.“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.

148.“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

149.“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

150.“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

Drama

151.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

152.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

153.“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”

154.“I know you lied to me.”

155.“I’m not even sorry.”

156.“You backstabber!” 157.“I never want to see you again.” 158.“You never mattered to me.”

159.“I knew this was a bad idea.”

160.“Rot in hell.”

161.“It was supposed to be a secret!”

162.“No one loves me.” 163.“He/she/they is/are so petty…” 164.“You made me cry.” 165.“I don’t know who you are anymore.” 166.“How DARE you?!” 167.“I know you’re not talking to me…” 168.“I SAW you with him/her/them!”

169.“Just leave me alone.”

170.“What did you do?!” 171.“I told everyone that I didn’t want to talk but I’m actually dying for attention.”

172. “Just admit that was extra…”

173.“I forgive, but I don’t forget.” 174.“Did you see what he/she/they was/were wearing?” 175.“So what if I had sex with your ex?” 176.“There’s something I have to tell you…” 177.“I can’t do this anymore.” 178.“You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.” 179.“I never loved you.” 180.“It’s too late.”

181.“Quit ignoring me.”

182. “Don’t you get it? It’s because I love you!”

183.“I love you. I’m sorry.”

184.“I don’t want to be friends.”

185.“Can we please pretend I never said that?”

186.“Friendzoned again.”

187.“You should’ve loved me when you had the chance.”

188.“Fuck you for toying with my emotions like that.”

189.“I was there for you when no one else was!”

190.“Alright – I can tell a ‘no’ when I hear it.”

191.“I’m sorry I acted so creepy.”

192.“Fuck. It’s like what they say – nice guys finish last…”

193.“I’m tired of keeping this secret. Even if you don’t love me back.”

194. “I knew that’d be your answer. That’s why I never told you before.”

195.“When I said I loved you, I meant it.”

196.“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?”

197.“You were the one that left all those notes for me?”

198.“You’re in a relationship with another person – you know this can’t end well.”

199.“We agreed this was just physical!”

200.“I love you. I know you don’t love me, so don’t say it back.”

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anotheronechicagobog · 4 years

Text

The Heroic Heralds of the Hectic Hermann Horde -2- What Is It With Janitors Making Meth In School Basements?

written by: @anotheronechicagobog

Warnings: swearing, coming out, mention of meth lab, canon compliant action, fire safety

A/N: I hope you guys like it, please comment what you think! :)

A/N 2: Can I coin Matt Casey’s disappointed face as the ‘Disappointed Captain America’ face of One Chicago? Pretty please?

Annabelle has a date. With a boy. Granted, she was twelve, and so was the boy who asked her to go with him to the winter dance which would be taking place during school hours with chaperones, but that did not make Christopher feel better. What made it worse was that she hadn’t even told him or Cindy, they had to find out when Kylie came over to see her instead of Lee. Hell, even Lee knew about this boy apparently, so Christopher and Cindy were sitting in their bedroom, completely bewildered, and a little sad that their daughter felt like she couldn’t talk to them about dating and love and sex. Annabelle had gotten the sex talk from school and her mom, she still shuddered when she thought of either, but now her parents were wondering if they needed to go over things again now that she was going ‘out’ with a boy. Were twelve year olds even having sex? They were only in middle school.

Annabelle and Kylie were in the room she shared with Max, going through her clothes. “Do I need to go shopping? I don’t think I have anything good enough. Oh god, what if I look like-”

“Okay, no. Deep breath, calm down. You are very pretty and have very pretty clothes. We’ll find something. I know that the first anything in a relationship is a little nerve-wracking, so just control your breathing and take everything one step at a time. I know that this feels like the biggest deal in the world right now, but you’re twelve, Belle. There is going to be so much time in life for relationships, good and bad, so you don’t need to worry about pushing as much stereotypical perfection as you can into the year before summer ends, okay? Life will and does extend beyond this dance, it’s okay to feel excited but your existence and reality as you know it don’t hinge on this dance. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good, now, dress, skirt, or pants?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After settling on a flowy dress adorned with purple flowers and low wedges, Kylie managed to talk Annabelle out of makeup. “Just letting you ladies know that dinner will be ready in half an hour.”

“Great, thanks, dad.”

“So, uh, how are things going up here?”

“... Things have been going well, Kylie was just helping me get some things ready for tomorrow.”

“Right, for the dance. That you’re going to with a date.”

“Yeah...”

“Mr. Hermann, would you mind if we got some privacy? Girl stuff, you know?”

“Uh, yeah, sure, sure, I guess. And you can call me Christopher, if you want, Kylie.”

“Okay, I will.” The awkwardness in the room was palpable, Christopher was changing his weight from foot to foot, clearly looking for a reason to stay. “Dad.”

“Alright, alright, I’m going.” He twisted around and exited the room, his heart fracturing a little. He knew that this would happen eventually, he just hadn’t been prepared for it, and he thought that Cindy would be in the loop. Instead it was Kylie, Severide and Kidd’s foster daughter, and Lee Henry’s crush. “Dad,”

“Yeah, Lee Henry? What’s up?”

“She’ll be fine. I know that you worry, but she knows how to handle herself and I’ve met Alex, nothing bad is gonna happen.”

“How come you knew about all of this before I did?”

“Easy, you don’t understand emojis.”

“Are you saying I’m old?!”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Annabelle wasn’t out of her room by the time Cindy had to drive Christopher to the station. Something that deeply disappointed them both. “Okay, Belle, they’re gone.”

“Thanks Max.”

“No problem. You look really pretty today.”

“Thanks.”

“Come on, mom made muffins and Lee said we need to get going.”

“Is he going early to meet Kylie in the library again?”

“Yeah. Could he be anymore obvious?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Annabelle was jittery all day. This wasn’t just her first date, this was the first time she was going to publicly acknowledge that she might be a lesbian. She was only twelve, almost thirteen, so she wasn’t going to label herself definitively just yet. Her classmates were relatively progressive, so were her parents, but there were still bad seeds and hidden doubts. Her dress was soft and she was doing everything she could to resist bunching her hands up in the cotton skirt, or run her hands through her styled hair. She chewed her lip, tasting the grape chapstick on her lips. The words of her science teacher fell on deaf ears. When the bell rang she jumped out of her seat, she fumbled, embarrassed, for a moment before she realized that most of the class was acting the same way. The only thing left between her and the dance now, was lunch. Her stomach was so coiled and heavy from nerves that she didn’t think she’d be able to eat. She didn’t feel like just sitting with her friends either, they didn’t know who she was going with and Annabelle knew that they’d know something was wrong with her the second she made eye contact. So she decided to sit by herself at the small old desk in the back corner of the library. The usual smell of musty books, old wood, and 80’s carpet weren’t the only ones to greet her. She was also met by sweat and spices. “Hey Belle.”

“Hey Lee... What are you doing here?”

“I know that you’re nervous, and I know that when you get nervous you feel like you shouldn’t eat, but you only ate half a muffin this morning. So Kylie and I thought we’d bring you your favourite takeout.”

“Curry?”

“Of course.”

“I love you guys.”

“We know. You don’t have to be nervous Belle, I’ve met Alex. She’s sweet and very obviously has a crush on you. Just take a deep breath, okay? Everything is gonna go well. Just take a deep breath and eat your food, we don’t need you fainting while you’re on your first date with ‘the most beautiful girl to have ever existed’ now do we?”

“Hey! I told you that in confidence!”

“Lee stop teasing your sister.”

“But-”

“Ha! You heard Kylie, your girlfriend says you can’t tease me about mine.” Annabelle stuck her tongue out and began to eat, secretly delighted in how red Lee’s face turned.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Annabelle was still wracked with nerves but she felt better after eating with Lee and Kylie. Partly because her brother was right and she did need to just eat something, and partly because Kylie helped fix her hair and dress before they returned to their high school a block away. Annabelle walked into the darkened gymnasium. The decorations were cliche, a little tacky, and visibly worn, probably used year after year. She waited in the far right corner, where she and Alex had agreed to meet. As cheesy as it sounded, she felt her heart skip a beat when she saw Alex. Alex looked beautiful. Annabelle had thought about this moment, she thought she’d fumble, be awkward and stutter. Instead, she felt confident for the first time that week. When Alex got close enough Annabelle smiled and wrapped her arms around a shy Alex and kissed her on the cheek. “You look amazing.”

“You too, Belle, wanna dance?” Annabelle nodded enthusiastically as High Hopes started blare through the old glitchy speakers. But neither Annabelle or Alex cared, they jumped and danced and twirled, the skirts from their dresses swishing around them, never unclasping their hands. Smiling and panting they broke off to the side after dancing nonstop for forty minutes. They walked over to the water fountain jovially with their pinkies intertwined. The cool water helped control their hot faces as they talked about their mutual love of the Percy Jackson series when- boom. There was a small explosion below them and everyone was knocked off their feet. Alex and Annabelle’s eyes met, horror and fear building inside of them was interrupted by the fire alarms going off. Annabelle jumped up, face heard and eyes calculated. “Go out the fire doors and call the fire department when you get outside.”

“Belle, you can’t stay-”

“Go Alex, and don’t look back or stop for anything!” Annabelle shoved the other girl towards the door before moving back into the gym to direct an evacuation. She gave orders with a commanding voice and firm stance. She began directing her panicked peers, to prevent trampling, outside through the gym’s fire two doors and through the doors outside of the gym on each end of the hall all of which lead outside. Though the doors at the end of the hall each lead into a small alcove/entryway lined with windows that had the doors that actually lead outside. Annabelle darted in and out of the bathrooms quickly, to make sure there weren’t any stragglers. She knew she was smart to do that when she found three boys from her math class huddled together on the floor. “Get up! We need to evacuate the building!” A couple of the boys scrambled to get up but one had to be dragged to his feet by Annabelle and hauled out the door by her as she led the boys to one of the gym’s fire doors because the door to the exit they’d been closest to was really hot which meant the fire was near. Just as she was about to test the temperature of the door with the back of her hand, uncle Matt burst in, with Gallo and auntie Stella behind him. “Stella take Annabelle and the boys straight to 61. I’ll radio Hermann and let him know she’s safe.” He turned to her and levelled her with his ‘Disappointed Captain America’ face, “you are in so much trouble.”

“The- uh- the doors to exit the building near the track, they have a door to the basement in the same alcove as the second doors that actually lead outside. We were gonna leave that way cause it’s closer but the doors were hot, we didn’t stick around to see if there was smoke.” Her voice was quiet and she hung her head in shame for a moment before following Stella and the boys to ambulance 61. Auntie Sylvie met her eyes and opened her mouth to speak, ask how she was feeling no doubt, but was interrupted by her father wrapping her in a bear hug. “Damnit Annabelle Sarah Hermann! What were you thinking?! Why on earth would you stay in the building?! You should have evacuated with the others-” Hermann cut himself off, tensing and slowly turning to level each of the boys she’d rescued with a glare. “Is one of them Alex? Did you stay in a building you knew was dangerous because of a boy?!”

“What? No, dad, okay first of all, I stayed only long enough to make sure no one was hiding in the bathrooms. You’ve told us a thousand times that people think it’s a good idea to hide in there when it’s really not. Second... Alex is a girl. She, uh, I actually can’t see her... I made her leave first, but I don’t see her- what if-”

“Hey, hey, hey, we’ll- uh, we’ll find her.” Hermann helped her find Alex, she was sitting with a bunch of students on the track field and tackled Annabelle when she came into sight. Their hugging on the ground was interrupted by the principal announcing that everyone was being taken to the hospital because the small explosion came from a meth lab in the basement of the school, and everyone needed treatment from exposure to the chemicals, both from the explosion and from vapours that were created during the process and had been around long-term and explained the increase in asthma attacks at the school. While the staff was arranging for the bus to come transport the students and for the parents to meet everyone at Gaffney, Hermann signed Annabelle out and had her ride with Engine 51 to the hospital. “So... You’re gay?”

“I don’t know, I mean I am really young, but I definitely feel some romantic attraction towards girls... Is that okay?”

“Of course! I admittedly don’t know much about discovering sexualities, but I do know that it’s completely normal. I just, I’d like for you to know that your mom and I love you no matter what and that this won’t change anything.”

“Thanks dad. I love you guys too.”

“... So... Alex seemed nice, when are you gonna invite her over for dinner to meet the family?”

“Ugh dad!”

#One Chicago #Chicago Fire #Christopher Herrmann #matt casey #stella kidd #Kelly Severide #kelly severide x stella kidd #stellaride #blake gallo

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hellyeahomeland · 4 years

Text

“Threnody(s)”: an HYH recap

First things first: a threnody is “a wailing ode, song, hymn, or poem of mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person.” If it clicked far too late for you that the parentheses and ‘s’ meant that more than one person would die this week... welcome to the club.

This soul crusher of an episode opens with Haqqani reading the Quran in his cell. A few guards arrive to get him and he walks, peacefully, slowly, while the other prisoners bang their cups against their cells (a real thing that happens on death row in American prisons). He’s handcuffed to a post in an open-air courtyard as he stares down a lineup of soldiers with rifles, all aiming at him.

Cut to Hayes, Linus, and Hugh Dancy John Zabel in the Oval Office. They have the video that Jalal Haqqani shot of Max last episode. This is now a hostage situation and… look how these dots connect. If G’ulom executes Haqqani, Jalal will execute Max. Hayes pleads with G’ulom to halt the execution, at least until they can retrieve Max. G’ulom agrees, but only for 24 hours.

Saul calls Carrie on the sat phone and she asks for an update. When is special ops coming? He still doesn’t know, but hey! At least now people other than Carrie seem to sort of care about whether Max lives or dies. She says the situation there is “quiet but fucked,” which is a perfect descriptor of most Homeland scenes.

Saul steps into a meeting with the White House to discuss Max’s exfiltration. It’s tough, because there’s no cover and the house they’ve got Max in is completely exposed. Also it’s in Pakistan so that adds another layer of complication. Hayes wants to know the odds. Resident Scott Ryan delivers the not so great, not so bad news: 50/50.

Hayes has a freakout because even when they went to kill bin Laden it was like 80%. But 50%? It doesn’t help that John Zabel is the figurative devil on his shoulder, making arguments like:

We don’t negotiate with terrorists. (Heh? It’s not a negotiation.)

I don’t even know who Max is. (You literally just got here. SIT DOWN, JOHN.)

“The US government can’t be expected to come to the rescue of every adventurer who gets himself in trouble overseas.” (Fuck you, dude.)

If the rescue fails, it’ll sink your presidency. (Your wife Carrie Mathison is gonna come after your ass.)

Elsewhere in the West Wing, Linus is snooping in John’s office and finds a printout of a speech he’s been working on for Hayes, the gist of which is: “Peace in the Middle East? I don’t know her.”

If you’re wondering whether John Zabel was successful in convincing Hayes to leave Max to die, in the very next scene Haqqani is dragged back into the courtyard. Saul is there. Once again they line up, but this time they go through with it. The bullets hit him and he doubles over. Saul watches in horror. Then, miraculously, he inhales sharply, very much not dead. He pulls himself up and stands again. G’ulom orders them to reload as prisoner’s chants of Haqqani’s name reach them. They fire again, and he falls to his knees. The job is done.

Back at the compound, there’s movement. Yevgeny brings Carrie a news report: an image of Haqqani, chest filled with bullets, slumped over. Carrie knows what this means, and then she spots the Taliban soldiers escorting Max out of the house, seemingly to take him to another location. She calls for the crew to get their stuff, they need to follow them and can’t lose track. Then, through the scope of the binoculars, she spots Jalal Haqqani shoot Max in the chest from close range. One two three.

Carrie races down the hillside as the Taliban soldiers all flee in their trucks. She gets to Max, lying on his side, blood in the dirt. She checks his pulse, but the worst has happened—again. She breaks down in sobs as she clutches his body.

In Washington, Linus is furious with John Zabel—who might just be as evil as his beard is tragique. Linus is in disbelief about this “speech” Zabel has written. A speech where he calls for security along the entire Afghan-Pakistani border that will be guarded entirely by the Pakistani military—the military of a country Zabel refers to as “failed and duplicitous.” It’s basically Homeland’s version of Tr*mp saying Mexico will pay for the wall after he called Mexicans criminals and rapists.

ANYWAY. Zabel spits back that he can’t be as dumb as Linus, who got two presidents killed. And, I mean I did make this point last week, but that doesn’t make Zabel any less evil.

Meanwhile, Saul is overseeing the preparation of Haqqani’s body. Carrie calls him. She’s still sitting next to Max’s body, her face is stained with tears.

Carrie: Max is dead. Fuck you. Saul: What? Carrie: He’s dead. Fuck you. By the way, thanks for the special ops team. They were really handy. Saul: POTUS wouldn’t move. Carrie: You wouldn’t make him move. You did nothing. You brought him here and it was your responsibility to protect him. That was your fucking job! Not mine. But I still tried, and he’s still dead. Did I say fuck you yet? Because fuck you. And fuck special ops too! Saul: I deserved that. But also, Carrie, you can’t keep running around with Yevgeny in the Pakistani countryside. Even though it brings great joy to Sara. Carrie: Fuck you, dude. At least Yevgeny gave a shit. Saul: You still have to come in. Carrie: Come and get Max. I’ll still be here. Fuck you, goodbye.

The Taliban are holding a town meeting. Haqqani’s lieutenant says they need to keep on the same path that Haqqani set out for them: peace. He knows that none of them were responsible for the helicopters crashing, so peace really is still possible. Just then, Haqqani and the Taliban Teenagers roll up. That’s right, it’s time for a little power battle. Jalal tells them all that his father is a hero. He wouldn’t die even after they shot him. He says we have to honor him: not by respecting the choice he made for peace, but by emulating him back when he was busting into embassies and murdering people. And also: it was I, Jalal Haqqani, who fired the RPG that brought down the presidents’ helicopters! And we will do the same for any other infidels who stand in our way!

After the meeting, the lieutenant comes over to Jalal and asks for some one-on-one time. He knows that Jalal didn’t shoot down the helicopters and Jalal gaslights him a bit. He also knows that Haqqani didn’t choose Jalal to be his successor, and Jalal gaslights him a little bit more. Jalal offers him some money or poppy fields if he’ll buzz off, but all he wants is peace, his country back. Jalal says they’ll get their country back, but not through peace.

In the Oval Office, Hayes is sitting with the Two Stooges, who both want him to say something wildly different in his address to the nation. Hayes just says, “figure it out,” which is kind of hilarious and that’s when Zabel springs into action. He calls up some woman named Claudette and asks for any dirt she has on this situation. Which now means he’s cosmically linked with Carrie because she was trying to do the same thing last season.

They’ve moved Max’s body inside the house, but Carrie is still sitting there next to him. They’ve removed the bright orange jumpsuit and he’s lying on a small rug, barefoot. Yevgeny wants to know what their next move is. Carrie says she’ll just hang out until special ops comes, then she’ll go back to Kabul with Max. She understands if Yevgeny wants to leave now, before special ops comes, but like the good boyfriend he is, he sits down next to her and asks who this Max guy was anyway.

Carrie’s surprised. She told him everything about her life (!!) but not this? Nope. She goes on: Max was… always there for her. She’s known him forever, and wherever she went, he’d dutifully follow, always by her side. And the reason she never mentioned him is clear now, too. She took him for granted and took advantage of him. And now he’s dead. What a horrifying replay of events. “I’m so sorry, Max,” she sobs. She kneels down next to his body, her hands on his chest, and repeats it, over and over: “I’m so sorry.” Yevgeny comes over to comfort her and she clings to him amid more heaving sobs.

The next day, Hayes has decided on his speech, which—surprise!—is the “cowardly” Linus version, where he just says “let’s do peace.” John Zabel is highly displeased but luckily Claudette has arrived just in time with that dirt he requested. It’s not dirt, but just intel: one of the soldiers at the secret Taliban power struggle meeting last night was actually recording the whole thing. So now they have Jalal on video saying he killed the presidents. Who cares if he’s actually telling the truth!

He races to Hayes to tell him what’s happened and in what language. Hayes is like “fuck, I need a moment,” and that’s when Zabel swoops in with his first draft racist speech and is like, “here ya go!” I’m sorry to say, but this actually seems realistic.

Saul arrives to the base where the special ops team is preparing to retrieve Max (and Carrie). They’re all huddled around a laptop screen opened to Hayes’ speech, which goes something like this:

We got the wrong Haqqani! Oops! Anyway, who’s ready for more war?

The reactions are “Can you believe this shit?” and “Oh, Christ,” which are both extremely relatable!

Linus is once again furious with Zabel.

Linus: What the actual fuck! Zabel: You weren’t here. Actually where were you? Aren’t you the Chief of Staff? Linus: You fucking idiot, we’re on a collision course with a nuclear power. Zabel: Don’t be such a drama queen. Pakistan will back down. Linus: No they won’t, dipshit. Also good job on making Jalal Haqqani a folk hero. He was a nobody 90 seconds ago. You’re pushing us into ANOTHER war that we can’t win. Zabel: See, that’s your problem, bro. You don’t think America can win any war. Anyway, I’m outie. Linus: We’re so fucked.

Saul and the special ops team fly over Carrie and Yevgeny’s location. Carrie tells Yevgeny that she can’t stay out here with him forever, and he’s like, “hmm, are you sure *wink*?” She thanks him and he takes position by his truck with his crew. This is the Carrie/Yevgeny equivalent of dropping someone off at home and waiting until you watch them walk through their front door before leaving.

Saul and the team touch down and retrieve Max’s body. Saul fills Carrie in on the pile of shit that’s happened in the last 48 hours. He hopes she has something to make it less shitty. She reveals she has a lead on the black box but doesn’t elaborate. Saul doesn’t ask any follow-up questions but says they’ll find it together, like old times. She agrees, but asks for no more bullshit about her loyalty, or Mike, or the FBI. She did what she had to do. He promises he’s on her side, but she doesn’t totally believe him.

They’re about to board the helicopter when one of the special ops team members requests to search Carrie. “What?” Carrie says, before realizing she’s surrounded by a special ops team carrying automatic weapons. Saul looks around in disbelief too. Carrie spots plastic cuffs, and it all feels suddenly like a trap. It escalates quickly from there:

Carrie pulls out her gun, quickly backing away, in Yevgeny’s direction.

Saul tries his best to calm everyone down.

Yevgeny fires his gun to distract them.

Saul pleads with Carrie to come back, it’s all a misunderstanding.

“What, so we can work together?” she spits.

“Yes, I need you.”

“In fucking handcuffs!”

He says he didn’t know. She calls him a liar and runs back toward Yevgeny. Saul, rightfully livid, heads to the helicopter and asks whose genius idea this all was.

Yevgeny, ever the gentleman, opens the car door for Carrie. She turns back and glares at Saul, the perceived betrayal still a stinging wound (on top of everything else), before they drive off. The helicopter lifts off and Saul watches from above as Carrie and Yevgeny speed away. He has a look on his face not too unlike when he left Carrie in Moscow last season (and, come to think of it, this involves a lot of the same people). In the car, Carrie reveals to Yevgeny that she’s also been looking for the flight recorder and that she knows where it is.

Seriously though, something has palpably broken just now, possibly the last shred of trust left between Carrie and Saul. Carrie has been conditioned all season to distrust those who call themselves her friends. Now she’s actually lost her last remaining friend (in the world), bringing a devastating new literal meaning to the phrase “nothing left to lose.” That Carrie could so quickly get to a spot where her handgun is out and she’s ten seconds from Yevgeny’s car says a lot about the distrust and fear just simmering below the surface. That she didn’t hesitate to suspect Saul was in on it reveals just how broken and filled with resentment their relationship now is. And that Saul actually was on her side makes the end result that much more tragic.

#homeland #threnody(s)#an hyh recap #*#by: sara #homeland spoilers #this episode is .... fml

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steve0discusses · 5 years

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Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 2: The Soul Stealing Motorcycle Card Gang With an Australian Accent

So a lot of things that happen at once in this episode, and one of the wild things is something that has been building for 3 entire seasons of Yugioh but because all this other stuff is happening, it’s like...secondary. Slowly, we’ve been watching all of these cards becoming more and more real to the point that yes, they are in fact Physical now--other people are noticing, it’s finally happening. the cards are finally real. Magic exists. This is a very big deal.

Like I’ve seen some of y’alls comments about how S4 is kind of crazy and well...cards becoming real was my one and only guess as to what crazy thing could happen in S4 and that happened halfway through the first episode so...it’s all uphill from here

But what’s crazy about this is that although this has been built up for so long, all our main characters are so freakin distracted, that they look up at the sky and see...youknow...this tapestry here:

And treat it like they’re looking at a flock of really weird birds or something. Like this is world breaking, terrifying, end of the world, Independence Day level red alert and yet instead of the military marching down and shooting lasers at all of these things, everyone is going to just simply walk home.

No one is going to evacuate. Yugi’s Dad isn’t going to show up in a Mad Max style motorcycle in jean cutoffs and be like “I knew it was happening, Son, this is what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years PS, it was worth it now, huh?” no, that isn’t happening.

Instead we’re going to very patiently, and very carefully just not panic and walk home.

Everyone’s just gonna...walk on the sidewalk home, huh? Patiently follow traffic laws? Wait for the light to turn red and everything?

No one even slightly wants to know what any of these monsters taste like? Just me? I mean this is your one opportunity to cook and eat a scapegoat and you know that thing’s got to be delicious under barbecue sauce.

And the funny thing is, people saw this happening and was like “I should call that game company and let them know that there’s real ass dragons that look like their video game flying around.”

Like imagine that Nintendo became real and there’s just...Goombas everywhere. Would I be...calling the Nintendo Hotline?

Hell No. I would be checking all food blogs everywhere for how to roast a Goomba on a grill, because you KNOW those things would be nuts after a few hours in a marinade, draped with fried egg on rice.

But in Yugioh, they’re like calling up Kaiba Corp and hoping that customer service can somehow make the living, breathing dragons and whatever that flying turtle thing was just...stop existing. They’re pretty sure Kaiba can “turn off” the flying monsters.

I think I’m still spelling it wrong, too.

Also, Kuriboh is real now and that...sucks.

That’s a lot of gross hair just flying around and I guarantee it’s gonna give everyone lice. That nasty ass sentient ball of hair you pulled out of your shower drain is just...flying around outside with huge googly eyes.

Freakin sucks. You can’t possibly eat a Kuriboh, it’s way too much hair and I guarantee when you skin that thing it’s like just a meatball to put on the tiniest little skewer and that’s it.

Sorry Bro just informed me that Kuriboh is a ghost??????

???

Also one of the cards is straight up an American Quarter.

I just want to bring up that there’s one (1) cursed ass American Quarter somewhere on Earth and that is going to be a real shocker for the one person that picks up that Quarter and doesn’t realize that when you flip it, it can kill people.

And I just did hunt to figure out what the hell the quarter card is called and I’m starting to think maybe the the show made it up? Wtv my memory is patchy when it comes to the cards.

And for all the cards that are just people but with more muscles, what are they gonna do? Is Dark Magician gonna have to go try and get a reception job to pay the bills? Is anyone going to hire Dark Magician in this economy?

(read more under the cut)

On their pleasurable walk home amongst all the horrible abominations and I guess a couple of bizarre magician hats floating around, they come across...this:

They just left them there in the middle of the street next to this nasty ass Gecko that would ABSOLUTELY eat them.

Also that Gecko...that’s just an alligator that can climb walls, right? Like this is Florida level of insane terrible creature you never want to have climbing walls? That was the one thing we had on alligators--vertical walls.

Youknow, Florida is probably the only place on Earth in this Universe that is actually completely fine.

On the other side of town, Roland is having his best day ever.

I do enjoy that Roland's line was “Mr Kaiba assured me that it’s not their company’s fault” which makes it sound sort of like he had some serious doubts. And might still have some serious doubts. And that he’s so sure that it was Kaiba, that he’s just going to say the “company” isn’t to blame.

And so they decided, well instead of evacuating the city, lets go have dinner at the Muto house. So, they all decided to not check in with everyone else’s parents and family and instead had a fun hang out sesh and watched TV.

They went to school with this guy.

Like they went to school with this guy like a month ago and now he’s giving press conferences in front of a dictator-style tapastry.

The imposter syndrome in Domino High must be pretty wild if you’re always getting compared to Seto Kaiba, is all I’m saying. Maybe that’s why the rest of the class has just decided to drop out.

*Cut to Pegasus’ island where there’s like 80 dead wife zombies running around and Pegasus and Croquet have locked themselves into the bathroom while they watch the zombie wives eat whatever’s left of PaniK.*

It looks like my dream ending of Yugioh, that Seto Kaiba’s company gets sued to hell and back and everyone goes to prison isn’t quite realized yet but it’s looking slowly and surely more real every day.

Kind of surprising that they assume so quickly that Kaiba is lying when they’re sitting next to Pinocchio over here.

So once you think, well...they can’t add more to this episode, no, we’re just gonna straight up knock out Yugi’s Grandpa...again. He needs a life alert. Does Yugi wear a life alert?

And you’d think they’d assume that a monster did this, right? Nah. It’s people. Real ass people did this but not one of the many huge ass monsters that apparently are kind of like Pokémon and don’t feel like doing more than just flap their arms and sit on stuff.

Anyways, the God Cards are gone. Goodbye, Deux ex Machina cards.

Feel a little bad for the one building just directly under the shadow of obelisk, looking up and just seeing a giant, glittery, blue ass.

And then a whole bunch of motorcycles showed up??? Like MOTORCYCLES. And I was like “BRO are they gonna play cards on motorcycles!?” because one of the only reasons I decided “OK Bro, lets actually watch Yugioh” is, and I’ve said this before, because someone mentioned on twitter that they’ll play cards on motorcycles but no.

No one plays cards on motorcycles this episode, they just show up to rev their engines and shine their brights.

Also at least one of them has like the thickest stage Australian accent and it is...rough. He said “bum” once instead of “butt” and you could tell it was just...they said bum to make him sound a little bit more Aussie because we don't really know how to do Australian in the States. We don’t know how this accent works, I’m so sorry.

But anyways, apparently after the God Cards got their energy sapped out, they can now just...be played by whomever? Not entirely clear.

And then they just...drove away.

Like they drove away without even telling them where to go?

And I was like...maybe they just went to that building under construction right there that is...somehow directly across from Yugi’s house which is...directly across from a super wide 12 laned street?

But...that can’t be right, right? I’m sometimes a little confused by the geography of this show but it’s a cartoon and they’re hard to make so we’ll forgive it.

Anyway, while Grandpa Muto counts up the damages to send to the insurance company, they figure out where to go, probably by following the God Cards which are...summoned here like holograms although...they are real? Right?

Like...

...so if there’s monsters just flying around, and it’s all the monsters of the duel monster deck, then there is a version of Slither just hanging out somewhere already, right? Or is the one they summon with the card the real Slither?

The show never thought that hard about it honestly. You can both play duel monster cards which I believe are no longer holograms when you play them and also they just inherently exist now so...Lets not think about it and just go to a brand new fight club roof. You know how much these kids love construction equipment.

Also is this the roof of a freakin IKEA? Look at the size of that thing.

This cultist just begging for Seto Kaiba to run a helicopter straight into him. Which Seto would probably do all over again if Seto were here.

I guess Seto decided to either go the hell to sleep and hope tomorrow will prove today was a bad dream, or he is celebrating the very best day of his life with his brother, sight seeing all the dragons and desperately trying to lure the dragons into his home with carrots under a box trap or something.

This guy ABSOLUTELY does Shakespeare in the park and only gets like minor, very minor roles, right? Like he’s the understudy for King Lear’s manservant who has no speaking lines and just pours water into a cup in one scene? And he takes it VERY seriously?

Yo these side burns.

So bro was like, who do you think would have more product in their hair? This guy or Yugi? And it’s like..well...here’s the thing about Yugi’s hair, he’s got a lot of product, but he has enough scalp to tease the hell out of it. But how do you tease your side burns? How do you tease your side burns so they have the lift of an old timey moustache? you can’t. Those side burns are 90% Elmers glue.

Hello there, offbrand Final Fantasy guy I see you got a Cloud shoulder pad but you wear two of them.

...

It’s a look they chose.

I...there’s a lot going on with all of these looks, especially the guy who is straight up wearing pieces of armor on his shoulders in the middle here for no reason but oh I will get to the looks when we see them in more detail later.

But it’s like, do you think Mr Monocle, who’s only character design trait is a single Monocle, will stay in the show very long? Compared to these guys?

Hm.

I guess we will see.

Thanks, Pegasus.

Thanks for giving us absolutely NO heads up about any of your disaster cards you produced and let loose across the world. Congrats on that. Congrats on printing this freakin card that steals people’s souls and delivering it out there where children could find it in their happy meals.

Like do you think he printed the Orichalcos card before or after the God Cards? Because I’d like to think that he finished up shoving the God Cards onto Ishizu and then was like “phew, crisis averted” and then immediately painted a weird geometric shape and was like “Damn it! I did it again!? Every time I decide not to paint my dead wife I just paint something even worse!”

Anyways, it’s aesthetic takes me back to a much simpler time of my life, and when it shows up the Titanic song pops up in my head? I can’t explain it. It’s just very...very...

It just screams edgy Riverdance to me, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it should be accompanied by Enya? Just me? The runes just seem very old world Europe.

Bro really wants these to be the runes above Noah’s fireplace and he’s been holding this in for like an entire season, but that’s not going to happen.

Because I have the receipts:

Evidence again that Noah’s fireplace was just what Noah thought art was, since he’s a computer and all. He rendered perfect fire and then got to the art and was like fuuuuuuuuuuu just like anyone else who first gets into Unity.

Anyway, Joey got knocked over, so Pharaoh decided to save his friends and it got him nowhere because, like we already figured out last episode and basically more and more every episode of Yugioh, Pharaoh is a freakin idiot.

So fun fact about the 00′s I’m sure everyone here fondly remembers unless you’re 12 (in which case, why are you on tumblr?) Remember how much we were OBSESSED with glowy blue-green lines and dots on everything in concept art? I really think that trend lasted until about James Cameron’s Avatar when we realized “we took it too far y’all” and then it just kinda died. Still hangs around, but it’s not quite as obvious as the 00′s when it was like “ah I see you have a glowy pastel magicky thingy in your art. A+, lets put it in a grimdark dystopian YA fiction.”

...It was a phase and seeing this shade of green as a glow just really brings me back to the halcyon days of a little less than 10 years ago. It’s very something that would have been in steampunk.

They also get this logo on their head when they use this card, just like Pharaoh but significantly less cool. And it’s on all this guy’s monsters too, so everyone gets the power of branding. With this logo that looks like a joke Portlandia would make about indie logos.

Pharaoh kind of shrugs this off because like...his soul lives in a freakin necklace and he has magic so...whatever.

And then we get the full cheese spread--look at this cheese!

WOWOWOWOW

Look at Dieselpunk Amelie! Here I thought that now Marik wasn’t around we’d have no more stupid crop tops, but it’s back and man I am so happy it’s back. Damn. Everyone has a popped collar covered in as many square inches of belts as they could fit on em. Belts just hanging off willy nilly in every direction so you can barely walk through a hallway without your belt slapping on the edges. Them walking through a revolving door must be the most dangerous game outside of Duel Monsters.

woah.

Oh man, and I didn’t even noticed that they made the middle guy ripped as hell for no reason. His arm looks like a Payday candybar.

But MAN.

Someone give that guy on the right a sword the size of himself because...holy hell his jacket is so massive that it has an accordion shoulder pad for some reason???

Oh shoot I didn’t even realize guy on the right has about 6 rivets on his fingerless gloves, too. Wow.

Oh man it’s a lot to take in.

Do you see em? Do you see how many weird ass accessories are all over these characters these underpaid animators will have to draw SO MANY TIMES?

Oh man, the poor cosplayers! It must be so hard to go from Bandit Keith--a fairly easy cosplay--to the Accordian shouldered 11-belted jacket on Mr I-Dare-You-To-Cosplay-These-Sideburns.

And then this guy screws himself:

I’m not gonna add him to the Yugioh Death Counter yet, but I have a feeling, especially after seeing how few belts this guy has on...I just have a really strong feeling he’s absolutely going to die.

Goodbye, normal guy, you were too normie for this bizarre world.

Anyway, feel free to leave in the comments, if Yugioh cards became real, which one would you immediately eat and how? (and we can count plant cards as actual plants for the vegans, even if they can talk or whatev--them’s plants, they’re kosher.)

(realizes I have no idea if there’s even plant type cards in Yugioh or if that’s just a pokemon thing)

Anyway that’s all for now but if you just got here, this is a link to read all my Yugioh recaps in Chrono Order, fair warning...this is S4.

#yugioh #ygo #yugioh recap #photo recap #S4 #S4 ep1 #gurimo #yugi muto #joey wheeler #grandpa muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #I don't know the name of the three new dudes yet #but wow they have more belts on than my local old navy #cameo by Seto Kaiba #who is somehow not seeing a lawsuit yet

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ngame989 · 5 years

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S4 So Far: Fucking Why? A take on the use of emotions and romance as a character development/narrative device compared to past seasons

OK so I literally only slept 3 hours last night after watching the eps, and it was a shitty 3 hours, so apologies if anything is jumbled or incoherent. This post is about why Season 4 as a whole (at least with the character relationships overall, not just romance and not just Starco) feels to me like such a gigantic and unnecessary fundamental writing/focus shift compared to past seasons (especially 1 and 2, but also 3).

Curse was... obviously just a slap in the face, a full descent into “will-they-won’t-they” for no purpose other than dragging it out, since it CONFIRMED that Star and Marco have true mutual love for each other and basically directly stated to the audience in the dance that, no, this isn’t because of the curse, it’s genuine, but decided more love polyhedra and suspense and drama were needed. NOTE THAT I FULLY ADMIT AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THEIR FEELINGS ARE REAL, THEIR DANCE HIGHLY AFFECTED ME, AND IT WAS A VERY STRONG EMOTIONAL MOMENT. I’m not trying to imply that it meant absolutely nothing, not at all, I’m more talking about its purpose in the narrative than the emotions it contained as an isolated scene when I say “it had no purpose other than to drag things out.” Not sure exactly where we go from here, but I know Starco’s still endgame, and I also know that the route there is gonna be at least some level of disappointment to me. No way around that, but I think it’s worth looking at the rest of the season to dig into what just feels different in a bad way, because it’s really not just Curse. I feel like half the fandom is freaking out simply over just the fact that they claimed they didn’t feel anything anymore, and worrying about the suspense and drama over whether Starco would still happen at all, but that reaction is the goal of will-they-won’t-they, it’s why it works and why so few stories bother going beyond it, and I hate that. The point I want to tackle and criticize isn’t “I’m worried Starco won’t happen!” but rather a look at the overall handling of characters and relationships in the show narratively.

Let’s start with a look back on earlier seasons. I should hope that anyone could agree watching the first 2 seasons that Star and Marco’s relationship was very strongly built on a foundation of emotional intimacy, honesty, supporting each other and understanding each other, etc. Even if you’re not a Starco shipper, even if you’re anti-Starco as a couple and see them as entirely platonic, this much at least should hopefully be agreeable to everyone, because it’s like 80% of what the show contained until the middle of S2 actually got some plot going. Once we get into season 3, it becomes a lot more contentious among the fans, but there’s still a lot of this same stuff. Yes, Star and Marco spend less screentime together, but the majority of moments they share feel special, and have a strong emotional core with moments between them. Toffee, Lint Catcher, Sweet Dreams (sort of), Night Life, Deep Dive, Marco Jr., Booth Buddies, Divide/Conquer - every single one of these had a clear focus on why Star and Marco’s relationship, specifically, was important and special to them, and what made them work so well as a pair. Not just “they go on an adventure together to accomplish a goal.” Granted, not EVERY single episode in any season was like this, all three of the past seasons did have episodes that were just the basic adventure, but this was still an overall important part of the pacing of the show even if not omnipresent. And yes, absolutely, other characters had meaningful emotional moments and bonds with each other as well. Bonbon provided payoff on a genuine emotional honesty that Marco had been building up with Jackie in Sleepover and Naysaya, not just romance for romance’s sake but feeling like it had a purpose, it made total sense why Marco and Jackie had feelings for each other and why they did to some extent work together. Demoncism for Tom and Star was another such moment, capitalizing in some part on Star’s heartbreak, yes, but still serving as a turning point with a genuine purpose to both their characters as they tried to take steps forward as people first, and they bonded over that. Similarly, Is Another Mystery built off of Monster Bash for Tomstar and specifically Tom’s issues with caring about others. Things flowed as a whole across the season, even if not in a way that involved Star and Marco constantly on screen together.

Now let’s look at S4 as a whole thus far. As far as Starco is concerned... what moments like this have we had? When has their relationship been clearly special to them as a normal part of their day to day lives and not just in some epic WOW moment? I guess the end of Follies, and the hug in Ransomgram if you squint just a little bit, but even then, the actual emotional core of that episode really didn’t have anything to do with Star and Marco’s relationship with each other specifically. All their other episodes are just very basic “Star and Marco perform an activity for some episodic plot purpose” with no heart or soul put into their dynamic itself. Then we get to Curse, where apparently Marco’s feelings for Star are so strong that he’s constantly beside himself with emotion over them, and Star’s for Marco obvious enough that even dense as fuck Tom knows. In any past season, these things would’ve been firmly built up over the course of meaningful Star and Marco moments across a handful of segments leading up to it, so... why not now? We had a single tangential reference to it on Star’s end in Lake House Fever, and Marco saying how hard it’s been in Kelly’s World immediately beforehand, and that’s it. Not to mention that Marco apparently has budding feelings for Kelly (despite not having had any meaningful emotional moments with her Lava Lake Beach, a full season ago), after only one episode in Season 4. Bonbon had Sleepover and Naysaya for Jarco, Demoncism had Club Snubbed for Tomstar, what did Kelly’s World have? To me, right now, it feels like emotions/romance in teen relationships in the show 180′d overnight from a genuine part of their day to day lives and interactions that ebb and flow naturally and subtly to “le epic shipping drama with blushes and handholding to get people’s feely-weely uwuing to the max and ready to tune in for more,” and this feels like a HUGE departure from the storytelling method of literally everything before Season 4.

EDIT: Let’s not ignore Curse itself either, though. The idea of destiny vs free will, and Star and Marco choosing to be with each other on their own terms entirely is cool on paper. Issue is, LITERALLY NOTHING IN THE SHOW UP TO THIS POINT HAS GIVEN OFF THE IDEA THAT IT’S MAGICALLY FORCED. Many fans postulated it, but the show never brought it up as a problem to be handled later, and put explicit care into all their developments being entirely natural. The “Blood Moon Curse” was a problem with very little buildup in the narrative, created specifically to start an arc that as an isolated thing seems fine, but ends up just fucking with what they’d already developed and delays the outcome more and more.

Maybe, best case scenario, all of this is just kind of wonky pacing for no clear reason, the show is known to fuck that up even at its best, but the overall progression will still be kind of fine. Maybe we fairly quickly enter an arc where they try to live their new lives, free of feelings, and they allow themselves to get closer to each other without reservation because they think the feelings are gone and begin to find genuine joy and happiness in their relationship (as a result of the love which is still there, but the placebo effect that they think it’s gone makes them open themselves up to it after seasons of trying to hide from it). Maybe this results in Kellco not really going anywhere, with like one episode of them trying to make it work and failing because Marco’s heart still isn’t in it, and Tomstar also breaking up because they both finally accept that even the Blood Moon going away didn’t change anything, and we’re still set for a Big Moment somewhere around Cornonation-Beach Day to be Star and Marco fully accepting and recognizing their love, on their own terms, with every bit of denial and every obstacle behind them, giving us at the VERY least a handful of segments before the end to showcase some day-to-day canon Starco, show why it works for them and why it makes them so happy, and to show Tom (and Kelly too, maybe?) being OK with the situation and finding fulfillment in it themselves. Then the series finale could be the final push for Starco, from “our feelings are real and we want to pursue them without any doubts” to “I want to spend the rest of my life with you”. I’d still overall call this a lot of unnecessary drama and dragging, and still highly question everything about these first 8 episodes that I did, but I can’t deny there IS a symbolic/narrative benefit for Curse here. It could serve as an important milestone where Star and Marco finally put the heartbreak and hurt their feelings cause behind them once and for all, which is sort of what a lot of people thought it would be anyway, and if things still move forward quickly as part of an arc then it would still perhaps accomplish something meaningful and not just dragging for drama.

Or maybe the rest of the season will largely follow the pattern of what we’ve had thus far, with everything through Cornonation being almost devoid of anything special in relationships, just showing characters interacting normally without any real developments, Star and Marco spending time together and Tomstar and Kellco being almost entirely background, with maybe one segment apiece just for fun. Then Beach Day could be a Big Ship™ episode that compresses all the lack of emotion into one giant over-the-top romantic episode where they finally start realizing “huh after the last 8 episodes of our normal friendship, guess we do actually still maybe feel something special after all” and then the breakup(s) happen afterwards as a result of “welp guess it won’t work, it’s been fun” with the series finale being when Star and Marco finally get to say “YES AFTER ALL THIS I NOW REALIZE I LOVE YOU” and kissing once and that’s the end of the show. Which still would be satisfying if for NO other reason than the first 3 seasons lingering in my mind, I still will almost certainly love Starco as a whole no matter what. But holy mother of fuck this would be the dumbest shit ever, a complete reversal on how they’ve always handled everything, for seemingly no other purpose than because they wrote themselves into a corner where they wanted to force Starco to only be series finale, but they also made it so strong in the first 3 seasons that its natural progression would make it canon before then so they had to fuck with it, and would make me almost regret being anything more than a casual appreciator of the show.

So all in all I’m still, for the time being, at least willing to see where it goes I guess, because Star and Marco are still firmly embedded in my heart even if the show’s handling of them in this final stretch turns out to disappoint me in almost every way imaginable. Unless things TRULY go to shit, I have some plans for some fanworks post-canon that will, if nothing else, help me and maybe some of you make peace with the potential the show will likely waste in rising above romcom drama to portray Starco actually blossoming into a fully happy and healthy canon romantic relationship to rule them all. But I will almost definitely not be staying up into the morning watching and freaking out about episodes, if the show is going to appeal to the lowest common denominator of casual romance drama, I suppose I need to become a casual viewer to compensate.

#starco #svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe spoilers #tomstar #kellco #svtfoe season 4

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fromdirectorlanawachowski · 5 years

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honest and unmerciful endgame thoughts

a sequel to this post

this is deadass one of the worst movies i’ve ever seen.

a few brief thoughts before i get into the more or less play by play.

- making jokes about how time travel in movies isn’t really how time travel works doesn’t work if you’re a fucking movie dude

- fat thor was a fucking disgrace

- professor hulk has to have been 80% ad-libbed because there’s no way someone actually wrote that garbage dialogue

- using a past thanos was a mistake because we don’t actually give a shit about him

OKAY LETS GO

actually fuck it i was gonna do plot point by plot point but i’m just so exhausted i don’t have the strength to do it. i’m gonna go in broad strokes and if you want me to elaborate on WHY something was bad feel free to yell at me in the DMs

okay lets go

right away the whole thing with clint fucking turning on the spot as his family disappears was goofy as all hell. i know exactly what they were going for but having him literally turn on the spot instead of go into the house or go into the shed just draws attention to the absolute hilarity of how fast they vanished compared to others.

why the fuck was tony skin and bones when he got back to earth. i know he was in space for three weeks but they clearly show him eating during the montage of him and nebula doing.... things?

also everyone just kind of trusts nebula? okay? i’d be wary of purple aliens in light of what just happens but inclusivity i guess

also you mean to tell me that in three weeks they scanned the entire universe for gamma radiation? also enough gamma radiation that would show up on a scan from light years away but not fry everyone nearby when thanos snapped?

as soon as they killed thanos i knew the climax of this movie was gonna suck ass.

the writers have no idea how fast human hair grows if five years later natasha still has that godawful blonde dye on her tips

a fucking rat got scott lang out of the quantum realm. i don’t have any commentary for this because this scene speaks for itself. a rat.

moreover how did they even get the van down from the rooftop it was on at the end of ant man 2

fat thor. i don’t have any commentary about this either. the whole thing reeks of the russos looking at taika and going “you wanna be a funny man? you want thor to be fucking funny? you think he’s hilarious? fuck you”

oh i guess i did have commentary on that after all

i’m glossing right over the gay scene because again, taika fought tooth and nail to get bisexual valkyrie and now the russo shitters get to say they had the first canon lgbt character and it’s a couple of throwaway lines that can be redubbed for china. seriously. i don’t think there’s ever a scene where he says “he” or “him” while his lips are on screen.

apparently i am doing this relatively plot point by plot point but i digress

if i was keeping points like cinemasins (ew) i’d take a few off for morgan stark. i’m an bitch but not that much of one.

oh yeah pepper potts’ first of, i believe, four lines in this movie is “yeah i’m reading about compost”. i have no commentary for this either. it speaks for itself.

tony hits upon time travel in a day

i’m so glad we couldn’t get any real character development for anyone but we had time for the four minute “ant man becomes various aged forms of himself and then makes a peeing your pants joke in 2019″ scene.

“that’s how time travel works in movies this is real life” that’s great except that joke falls flat cause you’re a fuckin movie bro

i’m skipping over the entirety of the battle of new york thing because that was just fucking.... *benny hill music*

oh no i’m addressing the ancient one thing. love to have characters retconned into previous movies so they can try and explain the time travel in a way that actually makes it more confusing and also isn’t the way the movie follows

steve leering at peggy through the blinds was creepy, i’m sorry. actually the way he was suddenly obsessed with her this whole movie was really creepy.

howard potts

tony meeting his dad was so awkward and uncomfortable and they really meant for it to be heartwarming but i’m sorry it was fucking hilarious and i was howling with laughter in the theater

likewise thor with frigga. a really nice, emotional moment where thor gets closure with his mom and she overtly says she knows she’s going to die soon but she loves him and she’s so proud of him....

..... and then tops it off with a fat joke. the russos can’t let any kind of emotion hang without making a joke.

when they killed natasha a guy three rows down said “if they were killing her here why the fuck did they greenlight her movie then”

why did thanos get a scene confronting the cost of the stone but clint just wakes up in a puddle? are you gonna tell me thanos cared more about gamora than clint did about natasha? ok.

okay i’ll admit seeing quill dancing on morag without the background music was funny as fuck. rhodey explaining the punchline was not funny as fuck though

three cheers for nebula inexplicably having new abilities

as soon as they brought in past thanos i knew the climax of this movie was gonna suck a big ass

hulk snaps the iron infinity gauntlet because he’s the only one that can withstand the gamma radiation that it allegedly emits and has been mentioned only once before in this movie

the fact that it works is demonstrated by not anyone coming back, but ant man looking out the window at some birds. yeah. gee.

okay i have a question here that may take a little bit to explain.

earlier in the movie it’s explicitly stated they only have enough pym particles for one round trip each. that’s why steve and tony had to go back to 197X to get the tesseract and more particles.

so.

past-nebula takes current-nebula’s place and uses her particles to travel back to the present, leaving current-nebula with no particles

so how did past-thanos bring his ship to the present with no pym particles

anyway past-gamora and current-nebula kill past-nebula to get the iron infinity gauntlet back

the final battle was whatever. i couldn’t for the life of me tell you what happened or where anyone was in relation to anyone else because it was cut so poorly

everyone comes back. remember at the end of my infinity war thoughts when i said the end had no stakes because obviously everyone snapped came back and you all got mad at me? everyone comes back.

the ladies all running the gauntlet would be cool if it wasn’t encompassed by shots of all the men running the gauntlet, drawing attention to the fact there’s literally only like seven ladies and one of them isn’t even a hero

joss whedon was the cinematographer the day they shot wanda fighting thanos, judging from all the gratuitous shots down her shirt. i know elizabeth olsen has nice boobs. believe me, i do. i’m envious. but for the love of christ stop being creepy voyeurs about it

also “you took everything from me” “i don’t even know who you are???” that was a great setup for her to use her mind powers and make thanos experience some suffering but they just didn’t do that so those lines are hilarious

tony gets the stones and snaps, killing thanos and all his army. thanos fades away into dust while a woman vocalizes in the background in a manner that’s less satisfying than when voldemort did the exact same thing in deathly hallows part 2

tony dies because i guess?

at the funeral everyone is there and there’s shots lingering on everyone including this weird kid who looks like he’d microwave a gerbil? i had to google him and it’s supposed to be the kid from iron man 3. i feel like seven years later you should probably put in a line like “thanks for coming <whatever that kid’s name was>

okay we’ve reached the part i have the absolute most beef with.

steve’s ending

from the start of this movie he’s been inexplicably obsessed with peggy. the ending is telegraphed from a mile away and i was still shocked and stunned that they actually did this.

so steve just gives up everything, all his friends and family, to go back in time to be with a woman he knew for max a year, in the heat of war, where emotions run high and they may very well have latched onto each other in case they died.

steve rogers, the man who wielded mjolnir, the man who broke his friend’s mental conditioning just be refusing to fight him, just sits back through the 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s. the cuban missile crisis, the LA riots, the assassination of JFK, the death of howard and maria stark, the infiltration of shield, the berlin wall, 9/11, the war on terror, and he just.... did nothing?

what the fuck was that

sam is captain america now though so i’m down with that

but i’m still so angry

this is beyond character assassination for steve. it’s... outright brutal murder and mutilation. anywhere i can, i give endgame a half star review FOR THIS ALONE. setting aside fat thor and how they treat Ragnarok, the fact they think steve rogers would, after everything he’s done and learned, go back into the past where there was still a chance he could help his friends in his own way, and do NOTHING, is the most infuriating thing about this barely-polished turd of a movie.

IN CONCLUSION i said infinity war was the worst movie marvel had ever put out and marvel went “haha we can do you one better”

endgame is just three hours of setpiece, gag, setpiece, gag, setpiece, gag, occasionally punctuated with emotional moments that aren’t allowed to hang long enough for the emotion to sink in before a joke is made, usually at thor’s expense.

#avengers #endgame #endgame spoilers #endgame critical #endgame critique #infinity war critical #avengers endgame

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almostdepraved · 6 years

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Reignite (Present!Carol/Reader (OC)) - Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! I’m writing my first fanfic. It took me a lotta courage to actually post it, so I hope you like it. Tell me what you guys think <3

Ever since you could remember, you were never certain of your emotions. It was much easier to manipulate feelings rather than wasting energy to solve such a trivial mystery of your mind. That particular strategy, however odd, had been the main factor for not only your success in life, but you assume of your entire family. Varying media had slapped on countless titles like geniuses, progressive-minded, genetic and family goals. Using any silly, eye-catching terms to feed to the public. And they’d eat it up; they always do- like a junkie getting their hands on anything to get a fix out of reality. It’s sad, but the truth can be just that. No one wants their reality, not even yourself.

You, Lauren Troy, graduated from high school at 12 years old, successfully earning your double major degree in psychology and business by 16 before adding a degree in nursing and completing its master program at the age of 22, and finally working as a regular staff nurse. You, the daughter whose mother is one of the world’s best surgical oncologist, your father, the owner of one of wall street’s most profited firm five years running, the niece of a senator, and a CEO of New York’s number one hospital. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that you could lead a life that is untouchable and almost without consequences. However, it does seem to take a fucking genius to figure out that that life is excruciatingly isolating.

It wouldn’t surprise anyone from your family though, they’re smart enough to know that something stupid’s bound to happen. So went that ‘something stupid’ thing did happen, which was of you being found directly responsible of several patients’ deaths that were under your care, they just expressed fair amounts of disappointment and without another blink, would have proceeded to make the phone calls needed to fix the legal problem and handle whatever journalists that’d try to scoop up anything and make it a story.

What they didn’t expect was that you wanted to go to prison, and you wanted to serve the time the judged had given of four years. It confused your father the most. As dirty as he might be playing and winning in the money-making game, he loved you too much to have you stain your record and ruin your own future. You had persisted, barely at the edge of sanity from feeling so bothered by your own emptiness. You did something heinous, and you should face the consequences of it. You thought maybe then you’d be fixed. Finally, he had agreed but made an appeal to the judge for you to be placed into maximum security, away from any potential enemy that your family’s legacy might have made. Fortunately, serving your sentence went as smoothly as prison life could offer, and because of good behaviour and reputation, the board gave you an early release- two and a half years early. That night, you had laid down on your bed back in your expensive family home, forcing yourself to cry from just about anything- nothing happened.

Perhaps you felt slightly guilty when you realised how easy it was for you to get a job. It almost felt like nothing had changed. Like you weren’t hold up in a cell and only had an hour a day to see partial sunlight for 18 months. Like you hadn’t purposely overdosed vulnerable people and watch as they take their last breath. You ought to feel offended, you thought a second before accepting the offer of becoming a hospital CEO. Bonus point was having your brother as a colleague. Double bonus points for being able to resign comfortably at the age of 32.

So what if you definitely are an empty, emotionless being? You now have the money and time that could keep you cosy for a decade, and that’s without giving much thought to the calculation.

“Damn Laure, you’re really going for it huh? Got a plan for after?” Your brother brought your attention back to earth with the tone he used. There was a hint of jealousy that was laced in his first question, and you raised an eyebrow at him, intrigued that he’d feel that way. He wasn’t like you. He liked money, especially a shit ton of it to spend ridiculous things on. “Yeah, I doubt it’ll last long anyway. I get bored too easily.” “That’s true.” You were both just exiting the hospital to head over to a nearby restaurant for some late lunch when your brother phone’s ring. The ringtone was different than usual; it was a pop song that was playing. This meant that it was one of the girls he’d hooked up with called. You snicker at his confused look as he answers it.

“A babygirl of yours forget the rules or something? Or is she a new one?” You teased. He throws you a death glare before he walked away to have the conversation with some privacy, lifting his index finger for you to wait on. You turn your attention to the street in front and began people-watching. A fun activity to waste time, plus, it makes you think, and you like thinking. This suddenly made your mind run over the memories you had whilst in prison. You realise you didn’t have to do much thinking there. No stimulations, or puzzles, or mysteries that held your attention for long.

Except for one.

Pieces of scattered memory flashes in your mind: steely blue eyes; a pair that could read you like how you read your favourite books. Death grips; the kind that’s so painful that you would feel alive in. Greying blond hair; something you didn’t know you have an itch to feel gently against your fingertips, almost like old pressed up leaves. And jumbled up letters that you think forms a name, what was it?

Cathrine?

Cassie?

Cornelius?

Cape town?

Cornstarch?-

“Hey Laur, we need to get back inside.” Your head snaps quickly to where your brother was, almost jogging shortly to reach you. “Why?” Cheekytita? You think the C’s that are endlessly popping in your head are going to frustrate you to no end. “Remember Linda from MCC? Corporate prison people that would be better in prison?”

“You’re one to talk, but yeah I remember.” It would also mean that your brother had banged her a couple of times and the realisation made you feel repulsed. Cate Blanchett?

“She’s brought in someone from Max. Inmate suffered extreme blood loss, and is in a fucking coma right now.” You were confused by the lack of context. You hated not knowing something. “Then let the medical handle it. I don’t get why you’re like this.” He bites his bottom lip, hesitant to answer. “I owe her a favour, and now she’s claiming it. I’m worried because not only is her ass on the line, but my ass is dependent on this prisoner’s survival. Linda’s got major dirt on me, and I intend on not having it spread.” You nod, the gears in your head turning. Your brother starts to head to the ER room that the prisoner and Linda is. You follow him in quick steps. Half-shouting another question. “What does she want then? You said the guy’s alive?”

“She wants full recovery. Guy better be better than before he was stabbed. But she wants it hushed, as far away from bad PR as possible. A prisoner’s gonna get his own dedicated team or some crazy shit like that.” Both of you were close now, a couple more turns. “And you’re actually considering to follow every request?” The door’s to your left, and you automatically wrapped your hands around it before stopping yourself. “Sorry, you do it.” You take a step back for your brother. “Exactly, I have to.” He mirrors your words as he opens the door and steps inside.

As your mind recognises Linda’s face, you felt a wave a disgust and turn your gaze elsewhere. Your brother can sort this out, you convince yourself as his voice fills the room as he greets the black-haired woman with fake warmth. The hospital bed was to your right, and you see the outline of a body at the corner of your eye. You mind thought of multiple scenarios at once for a prisoner to be in this position, now completely filled with curiosity. You head over to see the luckily unlucky man. What was it?

Gang capture gone wrong? Then there should’ve been multiple sent here.

Cage fight? No cages there, cell fight more like it.

Castration? Obviously not, but it does start with a ‘c’.

What it was had frozen your body and mind; an upward curve at the torso, thin, pale hands at the sides with veins that pushes high against the skin, lined complexion- wrinkles. Shoulder length dull blond hair, it seems to be greying. Something in the back of your head began pounding to be released. A locked information that you wanted to know as well but can’t recall. Something had reflected light into your eyes. A glint from beside the bed and your eyes searched for the source. Big framed glasses, it reminded you of a style you barely recognised, like in the 80s.

A piece of a puzzle manifests in your mind. Whether it’s the final or the first, you don’t know.

Oh, wait- oh no.

C is for Carol. Carol Denning.

#carol denning #oitnb #present!Carol #free!Carol

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attract-mode-collective · 6 years

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Not An April Fools Gag; That’s A Game Boy Advance With A GameCube Stick Affixed For Reals

What you're seeing is a modded GBA that I spotted on eBay. It's a real thing! Though it doesn't magically grant analogue control to all the digital input only games on the system, which is all of them for the record (sorry). Then again, it could be argued that the controls in WarioWare Twisted is technically analogue...

That aside aside, welcome to yet another recap of stuff posted over at the Attract Mode Twitter! Though this time it's gonna be a bit on the short side, relatively speaking; even I know covering two entire whole weeks has led to hard to handle Tumblr posts, so I'm going to try concentrating on just one week at a time/attempt weekly updates.

Let's see how well that goes...

Hey, it's SF2 IRL thanks to ARKit (via prostheticknowledge)...

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At the time, when I first tweeted about it, there were only three left of Amanda Visell’s Player One Mario; no idea how many there are now...

When you can make a decision regarding lunch (via @Mechazawa)....

If you appreciate both the ease of slip-on sneakers and the taste of ghosts, then Games Glorious has something for you (via miki800.com)...

As a connoisseur of video games on the printed page, it is my goal to one day own a copy of Namco's newsletter that was distributed in game centers during the 80s & 90s, NG (via miki800)...

Remember that time Namco got someone from Yellow Magic Orchestra to hawk their wares (via namcomuseum)...

Both in print and on TV…

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The YMO member in question, Haruomi Hosono, also did a Xevious remix album, which longtime readers of the blog will hopefully recall.

Sticking with Namco CMs, there’s a pair of longtime faves that I could have sworn I’ve already posted as well, yet cannot find. Though as noted, many times already, the search functionality here is broken.

So here’s a boy playing with his Famicom in the middle of the woods...

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And here’s a girl playing with his Famicom in the middle of the woods...

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Back to the subject of print, can’t seem to find any info on the Futabasha Fantasy Novel Series, which (I think) was a line of video game novelizations; this one appears to be written by the creator of Xevious himself (via shmups)...

The focus here is supposed to be the Lawson’s reward card with Kirby on it, but I am all about that Space Invaders whatever the heck it is (via miki800)...

Spent MANY hours at Japanese bookstores during my college years, flipping through Sega Saturn Magazine; seeing these VF Kids ads again makes me feel all warm & fuzzy (via thesegasource)...

This (what I believe to be a) farewell image of the face of the Saturn from the very first issue of Dreamcast Magazine, also gives me the feels (via oldgamemags)...

BTW, everyone knows the identity of Saturn's pitchman (Segata Sanshiro), but what about the Mega Drive's? (via yokosuka87)...

Back to the Saturn; I love how Sega want from Segata Sanshiro to Hidekazu Yukawa for the Dreamcast. This launch edition of the console, btw, was spotted at VideoGamesNewYork...

It's also where they Kira Kira Star Night DX for twice the asking price, as @gamespite)...

Speaking of music, to fully enjoy this animated gif of Eggman running…

… you need to have this song playing (via lunaticobscurity).

And to fully enjoy this image of Eggman on the sax…

... you need to have this song playing (via very-territorial-oak).

@ondoruragitan sez: "whoever designed that clown lady in ace attorney is probably the most horny artist to ever exist" (it's funny cuz it's true)...

So the big news these past few weeks, especially among video game folk my age, has been the end of the Toys R Us. Many have been sharing artifacts from the glory days, with my fave example being these old flyers, with the obvious highlight seeing all the original MSRP prices (via retrogamerblog)...

Oh, and don’t forget the gifs (via nintendroid)...

The following are more appropriate for my way, way overdue batch of game culture snapshots, but since we're on the subject of retail anyway; I recently stumbled across Nintendo's collab with Bloomingdale's that I had no idea even existed...

Took a bunch of pics, but unfortunately, due to the harsh lighting at the SoHo store, it was impossible to capture the women’s section, hence the abundance of men’s wear...

These women's sweatshirts are the best example of the line's overall design sensibilities, or lack thereof; it’s just a bunch of random Nintendo sprites on attire that is available at Bloomingdale's, period. That's all it aspires to be, nothing more...

... And that's a real shame, cuz aside from the quality of the clothing itself being high, some of the ho-hum looking designs could be really engaging with a few minor tweaks, like this b&w women's jacket with a very random assortment of b&w Super Mario World sprites...

In addition to clothing, you had accessories, like iPhone cases...

Plus sunglasses, which revealed Super Mario World playing on what appears to the naked eye to be a blank, white screen....

Speaking of Super Mario World, here's a hamster enjoying the game (via @kousuke_teppei)...

The lil guy also owns an original Famicom, and here we is playing Solomon's Key (thanks to @Topherocious for helping me to identify the game)...

Being that friend who is REALLY into video games means I'm asked a wide variety of questions from folks who are not, like why @beesmygod is "freaking out" over a Sonic & Garfield two pack for the PC...

... I'll be honest, I don't really understand why either.

Here we have a mockup for an ad blocker that replaces banners with GBA screenshots, which I really want to see happen (via @tinycartridge)...

I also really want to see this happen too (via @truongasm)...

Back to Tiny Cart; that's where I found out that you no longer have to play emulated Tiger handheld games sans backgrounds...

Nothing beats a pic of a dimly lit arcade, especially when it's shot on ACTUAL film (via mendelpalace)...

As for this particular arcade show, @kappuru theorizes "it looks like cinestill film, or a filter designed to mimic it." (via parkerwoods)...

"WHO IS THIS NUN?! WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO SINISTER?" is a great KOF related question (via vice-s-assistant)...

And "BOWL BEFORE ME" is a great KOF related gag (via brondeef)...

"this is the best cosplay i’ve ever seen" is a a great costume play related observation made by lunaticobscurity...

"how to get away with playing super mario odyssey in class" is the caption given by retrogamerblog...

"Stardew Valley gave me 500 characters to use as my farm name, so I put down an entire 1-star amazon review for an Independence Day DVD" is the explanation given by @NoahHafford...

Hey, you never know, maybe one day a homebrew dev might make “Shinjuku-Nichome Gay District Serial Murders” a reality? (via mendelpalace)

When you’ve got one copy of Melee with two boxes, and one copy of Air Ride with zero boxes… just gotta improvise (via stellatuna)...

When you’ve got a killer Game Genie code but no paper to write it down on... and then you discover the code does something totally different (via theassortment)...

And when I asked what this 4koma featuring a Dreamcast VMU was all about, @JonahD was kind enough to explain: "VMUs are playing hide and seek, Black is seeking. One VMU thinks hiding in the controller would be good but it makes a bunch of noise and they’re found immediately" (via posthumanwanderings)...

Whereas I have yet to find out what all these Sonics are doing at a German airport (via sonicthehedgeblog)...

I normally don’t let the weather get to me, yet the constant cold weather in NYC over the past few weeks began taking its toll, to the point that I’m starting to resemble an upside down Super Famicom/European SNES (via sixteen-bit)...

I also really wish I could have checked out Sakura-Con, and not just cuz the weather is so much nicer in Seattle, but to pick up @alexisparade's Monster Factory zine...

I stared at gif illustrating the wacky perspective-related behavior of Super Mario 64’s trees for an entire day, no joke (via suppermariobroth)...

Here we have the rarely seen alternate angle of the internet famous "LAN party gamer duct-taped to the ceiling" photo (via reddit.com)...

Turning the clock back even further, here's yet another kind of party, one that doesn’t involve first person shooters but shoot ‘em ups; it’s the 1986 Hudson Caravan (via videogamesdensetsu)...

Recently, a modded NES Max controller showed up on Kotaku, in which the cycloid nub has been replaced with an analogue stick...

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... Which actually appeared the day after I spotted that modded GBA at the very top of this page. I am also willing to admit the disappointment over my tweet not catching on as expected/hoped it would, hence why I'm sharing another pic...

At any rate, I was also reminded of my buddy Nick Santaniello's modded Jaguar controller, which allows for arcade perfect Tempest 2000 controls...

... Which in turned led to me republishing the post from which it hails from originally, my recap of Nick's Shmup Appreciation Night, for Medium (and also sharing additional pics on Twitter)...

BTW, for those wondering, based upon the last round of tweets; the kitchen isn’t just for playing old Mega Drive & PC Engine shmups… you can also play old Naomi fighting games (via internetflexin)...

Guess that's it for now? Sorry, but it finally feels like spring in NYC, and I feel the need to step away from the computer & enjoy weather! Just like Mega Man (via arcadequartermaster)...

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soldierswar · 6 years

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Melancholia-Chapter 6

A/N: So, I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately about my writing. I’m adding these newish characters, and beginning these new storylines that I’ve had in my head for years, and now I’m finally getting to the point to writing it, and letting you guys read it too, but now I’m starting to worry that maybe it’s just stupid, and nobody will care about it, or hate it? It’s making me kind of nervous and I wonder how much of it I’m actually going to end up ‘publishing’ on here. Has anybody else gone through this? How did you handle it? I’d love to hear from you. <3

8 months ago

Ryan

Her hair was a tattered mess, and she looked as though she had been in tears for the entire night. And from what I could tell by the open, half-finished bottle of rum on the counter she had spent the whole night just as awake as was.

I knew that Emelia was going to say the truth that we had been denying ourselves for years. I just wasn’t sure that I was ready to hear it.

“We’re never going to find her.” She muttered. Her voice was defeated, and tired. She sat on the couch of the hotel room with her arms wrapped around her knees like a small child. Within all of the time since Scarlette disappeared, I had never seen her so broken. As time went on since the fall of Hydra, she grew more and more weary. As if every part of her circumstances weighed more and more on her each day, and she didn’t have the person she needed most by her side.

Emelia and I had stayed at each other’s side since the outward fall of Hydra. And we had been around as Hydra began to rebuild itself. Emelia herself being the daughter of Alexander Pierce was a prominent figure. But what Hydra saw was very different from the truth. She had been trying to figure out how to take it down from the inside. Unfortunately, despite all of the efforts, not even she could figure out how to do it. So, we were stuck in a limbo of reluctantly following orders in honest fear for our lives. In order to at least try to get away with not doing what they wanted, Emelia made up leads that only we could follow which would occupy us for months. These months weren’t actually doing work for Hydra, but it was time we used following any tiny lead we had in finding Scarlette. After years of doing this off and on, we were completely out of ideas.

Even though I knew the truth, Emelia speaking those words hit me like a freight train. I knew at that moment that I was a failure. I had failed to go through with what I had promised my dead best friend to do, and that was to make sure that the girl he loved from the first moment he saw her would be okay if anything happened to him. And I let him down the moment she disappeared. How was I even supposed to live with that along with the millions of other things I had to live with?

“’Melia-” I sighed.

“Don’t…” She interrupted, taking in a long, shaky breath.

“Do you know how long it took me to even face this? We can’t keep doing this.”

She turned away looking off into the distance of the hotel room.

“Besides. If she is alive, us looking for her could put her and us in danger.” She added.

I nodded. I knew that it was something she had to tell herself over and over again before coming to this conclusion. Granted, it wasn’t by any means a lie.

“I wasn’t trying to fight you on this.” I said, looking down.

She snapped her head back to me. I was generally the pretty optimistic one, so hearing me of all people talk about throwing in the towel was a shock to her.

After a long pause between the two of us, she finally broke the silence.

“What are we gonna do now?”

…

Present day

Scarlette

I sat alone in the immaculately white room for almost 15 minutes. 15 minutes of pure fear, anxiety, and contemplation of what was about to happen next. It felt as though acid was running through my veins, and my lungs were being stepped on by an elephant. Although, I should have been used to this by now.

It had been almost 2 months since I had been taken away from my life in Oregon. My cover having been blown, along with the life that I had left behind some time ago with Hydra being brought out of the shadows. And now it was all coming back around to me detail by detail.

Stark was going particularly hard on me. Every little detail about every little piece of information that I told followed with 80 different questions, and I had to answer all of them. It never occurred to me that no matter how much a million different memories haunted you on a daily basis, being constantly questioned and cross-examine on them made it 100 times worse.

A full night’s sleep was a rare occasion. And when I did sleep, I’d wake up practically drenched in sweat completely out of breath. I could barely stomach the idea of food anymore, except for when James practically forced me to take a few bites throughout the day. I constantly tried to reassure him that I was okay, but I couldn’t ignore the worried stares that he tried so hard to hide if I so much as lifted my shirt up exposing my ribs and sharp hipbones.

Both of us were under maximum security watch. Granted, it wasn’t as bad as it sounded. We had our own little rooms, kind of like a really small apartment, except under constant vocal surveillance in our rooms, and video surveillance outside of them. They tried really hard to keep James and I separated in our own separate rooms, but they eventually let up and let us stay together. They probably just figured that if we were plotting something, it would be easier to find out if we were almost never separated. Other than that, we were only allowed to interact with other people under max security. Not that we ever wanted to anyway.

Suddenly, I hear the door open cautiously. My heart began to race at over 200mph, and I realized that I had been digging into my palms with my sharp nails so extensively that I was almost drawing blood at this point. After the previous day of practically getting screamed at, and having files practically thrown in my face I just wasn’t ready. No amount of whiskey in the world could get me prepared for more.

“Well good afternoon, Tipsy.” Tony chimed sarcastically walking into the door.

He referred to be as Tipsy every now and again after I was extemporaneously pulled into the interrogation room at 8pm, and I was almost too drunk to form coherent sentences. The new nickname was not an amiable one as he was famous for doing for people he loved. It was almost clear to me that every verbal attack on me was personal. And I was getting the feeling that it wasn’t exactly personal on me, but who I was attached too.

I didn’t respond to the greeting, but slouched into my chair. He noted my deliberate response and shrugged.

“Listen. I got a new person here, I’m evaluating him to see how he does in these types of scenarios. His clearance is at minimum security, and he’s almost done with the program, and we’re probably gonna keep him.”

I simply blinked showing how uninterested I was with this.

“What I’m saying is that he’s going to be the one talking with you today.”

I tilted my head.

“But I was really enjoying out little talks.” I replied innocently.

“Oh look, she can speak in sentences again.”

I rolled my eyes and sunk further into my chair. Encounters with Stark may have been mildly terrorizing at times, but I always tried my best to seem as cool and un-phased as possible.

“Alright, come on in.” Tony called out towards the open door, dropping a stack of files on the table.

I didn’t look in the direction of whoever was coming in. I just stayed as still as possible. I knew that if Tony was bringing someone else in, he wasn’t bringing in someone pleasant. Especially if it was another one of his ex-Hydra recruits.

“Scarlette?”

The voice was soft, and cautious. But it was familiar. I knew it. I knew him.

I turned around, and just as I had suspected…

“Ryan.”

…

What was supposed to be another dreadful session of interrogating ended up being 2 hours of catching up. Hearing about how he had gotten out of Hydra and how this whole program was so good for him made me so happy for him. I was glad that it had all been working out for him for the past 6 months. He had tried to get Emelia to come along with him, but she was too afraid of what could happen and reluctantly stayed where she was. Just the sound of her name, and how close I was to being able to see her again felt like my heart was being twisted.

“So…The girl that everyone is talking about that is with The Winter Soldier is you?”

Ryan asked in complete disbelief.

I nodded, noting for a moment that I was starting to blush.

“Aren’t you supposed to be interrogating me on my plot to murder the president with my super soldier boyfriend, instead of my actual love life?”

He chuckled.

“Well, I don’t know what you did, or what you said but Stark is hell bent on finding something on you.”

The mood shifted, bringing my mind back to all the issues at hand. I knew that I was automatically under extra scrutiny just because of who I was with.

“Scarlette,” Ryan said in his big brother reassuring tone.

“You’re gonna be okay.”

I nodded up and down trying to believe him, but then started shaking my head lightly.

“How can you be sure about that?” I replied.

Suddenly the door swung open with a loud bang against the wall. I jumped, and turned my head to see what was up. It was Stark.

“You!” he exclaimed, slamming a stack of papers and files in front of my face.

“You said you didn’t lie about anything. That was bullshit!”

I shook my head in complete confusion and disbelief, switching my sight from Ryan back to Tony. Even Ryan looked confused.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Unless you’re just trying to get all of your stories in order.”

I was still completely speechless. I was scared, angry and frustrated. Nothing I could do or say was good enough, and I didn’t know what to do anymore.

“Do I need to say it?” He sighed.

“Say it.” I fired back with an angry tone.

“Because I don’t even know what you’re even talking about anymore. What? Did I not clear with you what brand of socks I’m wearing today? That, sure maybe I wasn’t exactly 17 the first time I killed someone, but 17, 6 months and twenty something days old? What is it? What more do you want from me?”

He sat down on the corner of the cold, metal table in front of me.

“First of all,” He said in a hushed tone.

“We found some files of yours that were incredibly hard to crack. But we got into them, and we went deep into them. So, is there anything you care to say now? Because I’ll just say it out loud now.”

He paused, thinking that that would mean something to me. As if it should have.

“Nothing? Okay. How about the fact that when you claimed to be in a two-week long coma after your little boyfriend died, there are 12 assassinations with evidence, and confirmation that they were all by you?”

I stared blankly at him, completely unsure of how to react. Where was he getting all of this bullshit from?

“Or the fact that you said you only worked with The Winter Soldier once during your time with Hydra? That was a lie, all I have to do is go back to exhibit A.”

He still wasn’t getting anything from me.

“Or…How about the fact that you withheld that Alexander Pierce is your father!”

Tagged People: @a-heart-attack-ow @sexysamsungl @carryonmyswansong

@fantasticimpaladoctor @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

#fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter soldier #winter solder fanfiction #bucky barnes x ofc #melancholia #ineffable #ineffable series #captain america #steve rogers #iron man #tony starrk #tony stark fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #winter soldier smut #alexander pierce #captain america civil war #captain america the winter soldier

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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years

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The Rest of the Weekend Warrior’s 2020 Top 25… and His Terrible 12 Movies!

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that my Top 10 has already appeared over at Below the Line, and you can either go there and read those first or start with the movies that fell just outside my top 10, including a few movies you might not have heard about.

Back at the very beginning of 2020, I made a private resolution that I would watch more screeners. This is because I had become quite legendary for publicists sending me screeners and me just not getting the time to watch them with all the running around I was doing to screenings. I will never make a resolution like that ever again. (In fact, if my 2021 resolution was to have more sex, I only really need to do it once.)

This year, I wrote (no joke) slightly under 300 reviews, which may be more than I wrote in the three years prior. Part of this was having extra time from not travelling around the city trying to get to screenings, but also, once I decided to transition my weekly box office column into a review column, I decided that I was gonna watch and review as many movies as I possibly could this year. I’m sure there are others who do this all the time, but man, I don’t know how you do it. There were days where I got so burnt out at staring at my laptop for 15 hours every day that I just had to stop.

Still, when you’re watching 300 movies in a single year, any movie that can get into my annual Top 25 (or even get an Honorable Mention) should feel somewhat honored.

Anyway, onto the second 15 movies in my Top 25 (click on the title for a link to each of my reviews!):

11. Herself (Amazon Prime Video) – One of my more recent viewings is this film directed by Phyllida Lloyd (Mamma Mia!) and starring British actress Clare Dunne (who also co-wrote the script) as a mother of two young girls who got out of an abusive marriage with a man who still shares custody with her daughters. She wants to give her girls a place to live so she decides to build her own house on a plot of land given to her as a gift. It’s such a simple premise but Lloyd and Dunne have made a wonderful not-too-heavy drama that still slams you with its raw emotions.

12. Jungleland (IFC Films) – I really enjoyed Max Winkler’s earlier movie Ceremony, but this underground boxing drama about two brothers (Jack O’Connell, Charlie Hunnam) was also a solid crime-drama that follows them on a road trip to deliver a mob boss’ mistress (Jessica Barden) back to him on their way to a big match. Winker really outdid himself in terms of the storytelling and somehow managed to avoid most of the normal boxing movie cliches while allowing this to stand up to some of the greats.

13. Palm Springs (NEON/Hulu) – One of the first of this year’s Sundance movies that really connected with me, Max Barbakow’s sci-fi comedy starred Andy Samberg as a guy stuck at a horrible wedding who ends up in a Groundhog’s Day situation with the wonderful Christin Milioti was so much fun. Adding to the madness was JK Simmons as a guy who seems to be out to get Samberg’s character for reasons we don’t learn until much later. Such a brilliant and hilarious movie with so much great re-watch value.

14. Soul (Disney•Pixar) – The latest from the animation studio that seemingly can’t do wrong – but that depends on who you ask – follows jazz pianist Joe (voiced by Jamie Foxx) who dies and ends up “The Great Beyond” desperate to get back to earth having just gotten his big break. Helping him (sort of) is a soul voiced by Tina Fey, and things don’t go quite as Joe helped. Co-written and co-directed by Kemp Powers, the film goes in a different direction from Docter’s last animated film, Inside Out, but still retaining some of the same metaphysical fabric that made that Oscar-winning animated film connect with adults just as much as with kids.

15. Mangrove (Amazon Prime Video) – The debate on whether Steve McQueen’s latest “Small Axe Anthology” should be deemed a TV series or five separate movies continues to rage as Amazon decides to save the movie for the Emmies. At two hours long, Mangrove is the closest of the series to being a great stand-alone film, and frankly, I thought it was better than McQueen’s Oscar-winning film, 12 Years a Slave. This told the true story of restaurant owner, Frank Crichlow (Shaun Parkes), and how he’s persecuted by the racist local police in the late ‘60s, but when he teams with a local Black Panther activist (Black Panther’s Letitia Wright), a protest march turns into a tense court trial for a number of people involved in it.

16. I Will Make You Mine (Gravitas Ventures) – Actor Lynn Chen’s directorial debut was actually the third movie in a trilogy of indie films centered around musician/songwriter Goh Nakamura, who appeared in all three films. I watched this the first time thought it was just okay. When I realized it was part of a series of films, and I went back and watched the other two movies, I was completely blown away by what Chen did within this finale. With movies, you generally only have a limited time to explore its characters, but like Richard Linklater’s “Before” movies, this movie helped to really create depth in the characters by revisiting them. I was kind of shocked that I hadn’t seen the other movies – few critics have – and though only 18 other critics reviewed this one, the film is still 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, which should tell you how good it is.

17. Sylvie’s Love (Amazon Prime Video) – Tessa Thompson and Nnamdi Asomugha starred in Eugene Ashe’s 50s-60s-set romantic drama about an early television producer and a jazz musician, following their relationship after a summer fling that ends with him leaving for Paris. Separated for years, she remarries and raise the child from her former lover, but then they reconnect and… well, you’ll have to watch it for yourself. It’s on Prime Video right now, so if you’re a subscriber, you have no reason not to. (And Erik Davis of Fandango had a great idea… watch this as a double feature with McQueen’s Lovers Rock from “Small Axe Anthology”!)

18. The Traitor (Sony Pictures Classics) – Last year’s Italian section for the Oscar International Film was a fantastic The Godfather-like crime-thriller, this one starring Pierfrancesco Favino as Tomassso Buscetta, a Palermo-based Casa Nostra family member responsible for the heroin trade in the ‘80s who flees to Brazil. It’s an amazing story showing that filmmaker Marco Bellochio did his research to create a movie that didn’t really get the critical love or attention it deserved.

19. Weathering With You (GKids) – And here is Japan’s selection for the Oscar International Film, a rare Anime film, this one by Your Name director Makoto Shinkai, this one more about a fantasy-romance about a young man who meets a young woman who can control the rain, which they turn into a lucrative business. I didn’t love it quite as much as Your Name, which was a truly inventive turn on the “body-switching” movie, but this also had some of the same characterizations that make Shinkai’s work so terrific, so it was impossible not to enjoy how it translated into his latest feature.

20. Lingua Franca (ARRAY Releasing/Netflix) – Trans filmmaker Isabel Sandoval’s film was released in the same weekend as another movie with a trans lead, Flavio Alves’ The Garden Left Behind. While they were both good, Sandoval wrote, directed and starred in her movie which was about her character Olivia having a romance with a guy surrounded by transphobic bros. Olivia is also trying to get her green card, and the immigrant aspect of the film really added a lot to what seemed like a deeply personal film.

21. The Outpost (Screen Media Films) – I’ve been a fan of Rod Lurie’s work for almost as long as I’ve been writing reviews. In fact, one of my very FIRST movie reviews was for his movie The Last Castle in 2001. I’ve also been fortunate to call him friend. I’ve watched Rod transition into quite a skilled television director, but I been waiting over ten years for him to make a movie as good as his amazing political thriller, Nothing but the Truth. Working from Jake Tapper’s non-fiction novel, Lurie created a full-on and unapologetic war movie as good as Peter Berg’s Lone Survivor, Blackhawk Down or any other modern war film… but also a film as personal as any others released this year.

22. The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Netflix) – Aaron Sorkin’s second film as a director stepped things up, WAY up, as he decided to take on one of the more noted events that signified the famed “Summer of Love” of 1969, as a number of peaceful protesters were tried by the federal government for “inciting a riot.” The amazing cast included Eddie Redmayne, Sacha Baron Cohen, Yahya Abdul-Mateen 2, Michal Keaton, Mark Rylance, Frank Langella, Jeremy Strong and many more. It was an abundance of acting riches and when you have such a fine wordsmith in screenwriter/playwright Sorkin, it’s hard to go wrong. The thing is that by the time I saw this, I had already seen Steve McQueen’s Mangrove, which in my opinion is a far superior version of a similar story from the same time period.

23. Words on Bathroom Walls (LD Entertainment/Roadside Attractions) – A movie I didn’t expect much from but totally fell in love with was this romantic drama starring Charlie Plummer as Adam Petrozelli, a young man sent to a Catholic School where he hopes to keep his schizophrenia a secret from his new classmates. The film co-starred Taylor Russell from Waves as Adam’s friend and love interest, who also gets worried about Adam’s erratic behavior whenever he goes off his meds. Adam’s condition was shown by the personalities he interacts with, played by Anna Sophia Robb, Devon Bostick and Lobo Sebastian, but the movie also stars the great Molly Parker as Adam’s mother and Walton Goggins as her live-in boyfriend. All of this adds up to a great coming-of-age film from Thor Freudenthal that also became one of the first couple movies since March to test out theatrical waters months after the pandemic shutdown.

24. Sputnik (IFC Midnight) – An amazing Russian sci-fi thriller from Egor Abramenko (remember that name!) that’s likely to be compared to Alien but adds so much more depth by taking place in communist Russia during the ‘80s. It stars Pyotr Fyodorov as a cosmonaut who brought something back with him from space and Oksana Akinshina as the psychologist who has to figure what is happening. It starts quite, reminding you of the original Russian film Solaris, but by the end, it gets pretty insane. More than anything, it finds a way of doing something original within an overused sci-fi trope.

25. Parallel (Vertical Entertainment) - Similarly, I had pretty low expectations for Isaac Ezban’s sci-fi/horror film about a group of Silicon Valley friends who discover a mirror that allows them to travel to and from alternate versions of their own dimension, which they use for criminal activities. Soon, some of them have gotten out of control with the power and money that this access gives them, but like Palm Springs, it’s a great take on another overused sci-fi trope that’s done so beautifully. (Warning: There have been a LOT of movies with this title in the last five years. Make sure you choose the right one!)

Honorary Mentions: The Prom (Netflix), Kindred (IFC Midnight), On the Rocks (A24/Apple TV+), Yellow Rose(Sony), Misbehaviour (Shout! Factory), Premature (IFC Films), Spontaneous (Paramount), The Climb (Sony Pictures Classics)

Oh, and as a reminder, here’s my top 10, this time with links to my reviews where applicable:

10. One Night in Miami.. (Amazon Prime Video) 9. Pieces of a Woman (Netflix) 8. Sound of Metal (Amazon Prime Video) 7. Mulan (Disney+) 6. Synchronic (Well GO USA) (Tied with Disney+’s Hamilton) 5. Nomadland (Searchlight Studios) 4. News of the World (Universal) 3. Minari (A24) 2. Corpus Christi 1. Promising Young Woman (Focus Features)

And some MORE DOCS I liked that didn’t make my Top 12 over at Below the Line:

13. Robin’s Wish (Vertical) 14. PJ Harvey: A Dog Called Money 15. 76 Days (MTV Documentaries) 16. Rebuilding Paradise (NatGeo) 17. The Fight (Magnolia) 18. Collective (Magnolia) 19. Stuntwomen: The Untold Hollywood Story (Shout! Studios) 20. We Are Freestyle Love Supreme (Hulu) 21. My Name is Pedro (Sweet 180) 22. Crock of Gold: A Night with Shane MacGowan (Magnolia) 23. You Cannot Kill David Arquette (Super) 24. Feels Good Man 25. Suzi Q (Utopia Distribution)

The Terrible 12 of 2020!:

And it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for -- and the reason I guess most people are reading this -- so I apologize for making all five of you read through all the great movies and docs of 2020 before getting to the juicy stuff. Let’s get to it!

12. Superintelligence (HBO Max) – There was a time when I loved Melissa McCarthy – years before Bridesmaids – but her success after that film and her decision to keep making movies with husband/director Ben Falcone has only led to a few halfway decent comedies. (I didn’t think The Boss was that bad, but that’s cause it co-starred Kristen Bell.) So imagine if you’re one of the first big studio comedies to be dumped to Warner Media’s new streaming service, HBO Max, and that was almost SIX MONTHS BEFORE COVID HIT! How bad could a movie be to have that little support and confidence from the studio? Well, I found out that very thing, as I sat through this horrible movie that had McCarthy play another one of her usual “everywomen,” this one who encounters an Artificial Intelligence, voiced by James Corben, who has achieved sentience. Trying to learn what it is to be human, the AI starts giving McCarthy’s character everything she wants, including a relationship an old workmate, played by Bobby Canavale. The movie wasn’t very funny but it also branched into a rom-com plot that just didn’t suit either McCarthy or Canavale, so yes, quite an epic fail.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “'Superintelligence' is not a term I'd use for whoever greenlit this piece of crap.”

11. Hubie Halloween (Netflix) – I don’t think that Hubie Halloween was anywhere near Adam Sandler’s worst movies ever, and probably not even his worst for Netflix – although there have been some VERY bad ones. The problem is that any opportunity Sandler was given in this movie to show he can deliver something other than “more of the same” had him instead resorting to the physical humor that appealed to his fanbase. And yet, it wasn’t even the worst movie to come out that week it debuted on the streamer. (See below.)

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “A perfectly fine Netflix movie, not something I’d ever want to have to sit in a movie theater watching with others.”

10. Max Cloud – This sci-fi-action-comedy didn’t have a terrible premise – I mean, I enjoyed it in all three Jumanji movies -- but it was marred by being such a monumentally badly made movie that stars one of the one actors in the business, namely Scott Adkins. Set in 1990, Adkins plays the title character in a video game, in which a teen girl finds herself transported as a character. If you wondered what a Jumanji movie would look like in the hands of a completely incompetent cast and crew, well, here you go.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “Pretty awful, a bad faux video game movie that should have had its plug pulled.”

9. The Stand-In (Saban Films) – Not to be outdone by her frequent co-star Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore threw out all of the love she’s garnered from previous movies and her new talk show by playing dual roles of a raunchy comedy star best known for her pratfalls (so kind of a cross between Sandler and Melissa McCarthy?). Barrymore also played her nearly identical stand-in who didn’t get as much acclaim but gets to stand in for her famous lookalike when the latter goes on a bender and ends up hiding in her mansion for five years. Not sure why Barrymore thought this would be a good way to put her back on the movie screen, but yikes… one of her character’s big gimmicks is falling face first into a pile of horse shit – not funny and just plain gross.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “Guarantees Barrymore a double-dose Razzie nomination.”

8. The War with Grandpa (101 Studios) – For whatever reason, I decided not to review this Weinstein Co. cast-off family comedy starring Robert De Niro and Uma Thurman. Maybe that’s because I hated the movie so much I could barely get through it, and with a Friday review embargo, I just decided not to waste any more time thinking about it. So why didn’t it end up lower, you ask? I have no effin’ idea.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A

7. Pearl – There have been some bad young adult romances over the past few years, and while I don’t think Bobby Roth’s is actually based on any existing book, it might as well have been, because it was very, very bad. It stars Larsen Thompson as a 15-year-old piano prodigy who is sent to live with her unemployed film director uncle, played by Anthony LaPaglia, who was so super-creepy in that role. I don’t remember much else, since I deliberately scrubbed my memory of this movie’s existence. Little did I realize that I’d be watching an even WORSE version of this movie a few months later.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “LaPaglia is way too good an actor, who deserves better than this.”

6. Black Water: Abyss – Another movie I watched late in the week and just didn’t have time or bother to review. Honestly, I remember very little about this. I think it involves crocodiles? Who knows, who cares? Not me or anyone else I expect. Everything about this movie was pretty bad.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A

5. The Turning (Universal) – Probably the biggest studio movie to wind up on this list, and possibly the only reason I didn’t review this was because I interviewed the director, Floria Sigismondi (The Runaways), who is generally a pretty awesome artist. But I love the original source material on which this is based and seeing how much better Netflix’s The Horror of Bly Manor was a few months later just made me a little sore that a movie starring the great Mackenzie Davis with Finn Wolfhard and Brooklyn Prince could end up with one of the lamest endings of a horror movie in recent memory.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A

4. Butt Boy (Epic Pictures) – Tyler Cornack’s comedy-slash-thriller was my worst movie of the year for many, many months until the three movies below it reared their ugly heads. Still, this one is pretty ugly as it stars Conack himself as Chip Gutchel, a man who becomes obsessed after a proctology exam so that things just keep vanishing up his own asshole. Yeah, I think my RT quote is fairly apt.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “I wouldn't recommend this to my worst enemy.”

3. Buddy Games (Saban Films/Paramount) – The fact that Josh Duhamel’s directorial debut came out the same week as Superintelligence yet ended up lower on this list is fairly telling. It involves Duhamel and a group of his friends taking part in ridiculous competitions for money, and shows what happens when these friends reunite five years later to throw another Buddy Game. It was just very low-brow and disgusting and a not particularly funny take on the Jackass movies. There was scene that almost made me stop watching.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “To call Buddy Games moronic, idiotic or even asinine, would be an insult to morons, idiots or asses, who are also likely the movie's target audience.“

2. Sno Babies (Better Noise Films) – This poorly-conceived “Afterschool Special” that follows a high school senior named Kristen (Katie Kelly) and her ever-growing drug addiction was almost like a young adult version of Darren Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream if just about everything about the movie was bad from the writing to the acting to just really horrible images that no one would want to watch or be put through. If the film just followed Kelly’s character, maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad, but it’s a narrative that follows a bunch of characters including a couple wanting to have a baby… and when Kristen becomes pregnant due to her being on drugs, well, you can probably guess where it’s going. The only movie this year that had me literally yelling at my laptop like a lunatic.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “The people who made this movie should never be allowed to make another movie again.”

1. Dead Reckoning (Shout! Studios) – Scott Adkins makes his second appearance in the Terrible 12 with a movie in which he plays an Albanian terrorist. In fact, when I first heard about this movie and the fact it was directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, the cinematographer/director behind Romeo is Bleeding and lots of trashy action flickers from the Aughts, it made me expect something in that vein. Instead, this is another young adult drama set in Nantucket with K.J. Apa from Riverdale playing Adkins’ brother who falls for a local teen lush, played by India Eisley, who proceeds to chug alcohol in every scene. Oh, her parents were killed in a terrorist act… coincidence? I think not. Eventually, we learn that Adkins’ character is planning a terrorist act by blowing up a boat on the 4th of July, and that’s maybe an hour or more into the movie. And yeah, there’s a number of action scenes awkwardly shoehorned into the story as well… Adkins’ fight with a nurse trying to help him was particularly hilarious. But the fact that the movie is being sold as “a thriller inspired by the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013” just makes the whole thing even more awkward and insulting. This one ends up in the “What on earth were they thinking, whoever financed this movie?” box.

Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “The only way to have any fun watching this disaster is to play a drinking game where you take a drink every time Eisley's character takes a drink.”

That’s it for this year…. Happy New Year and on to 2021!

#TheWeekendWarrior #EDsTerrible10 #EDsTop25 #Movies #Reviews

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