#I Hope you like it. if there’s anything you disagree on let me know ❤️

[theroguedragons]

Drabble for @dragynfire

Daemon felt how it had become harder and harder for his queen to keep on living this lie. Of course they had managed over the years to deal with it somehow. They found ways to meet up secretly. The prince was somehow even able to raise their children from the back by training with them and teaching them high valyrian to control their dragons but all of it never changed that the eyes of his brother were always burning on their skin. While Daemon could deal with the fact of sharing her sometimes to keep their lie intact, Alicent was crumbling under her hard facade and there was nothing else he wanted more than finally releasing her from all this weight on her shoulders and protecting her from having her body used like other men wanted. His jealousy he could control, but he couldn’t bear to see her suffer. Since the beginning it was her who had to make so many sacrifices and having him every now and then was somehow the only thing she really owned and decided by herself. It wasn't enough though and therefore the prince had promised her to take care of it as he always did. “I'll find a way. I'll ask him to release you so I can take you as my wife.” It was a whisper he left in her ear during their last embrace and even if he noticed that Alicent wanted to believe him, she couldn't stop the scoff from her lips since she probably thought he was just trying to calm her like he always did. But Daemon wasn't a man of shallow promises. He was either all in or would let go of something when it wasn't worth his time, but his queen, the mother of his children was everything that truly mattered and he knew he had to at least try to make her as happy as he felt when he had her.

After asking for a hearing with the king, something that would be formal and official, Alicent and their kids joined them in the throne room where Rhaenyra and everyone from the kings council was already waiting. As Daemon had asked his brother for this Viserys just chuckled, saying “You do not need an audience to talk to your brother. What could be that important to bring it up in front of everyones noisy eyes and seek such an absolution for it?” but his brother convinced him to do it nevertheless even if he appreciated his support he knew would be tested on this day.

“What is it you came here to ask for, prince Daemon?” his brother asked, sitting on the throne with Alicent and their three kids standing close by on the stairs, watching him with constant fear glowing in her eyes. No matter how many times Daemon tried to convince her to trust him, he knew that sometimes love wasn't enough to trust someone that could act so reckless. Still he was calm himself and after a reassuring glare to his secret lover, his eyes wandered over to the princess before he kneeled down with a smirk. “I ask for the hand of princess Rhaenyra.”

A murmur went through the room and Daemon noticed the confusion and shock on Alicents face without even daring to look at her while Rhaenyras surprise turned into a pleased smile immediately. Viserys needed a moment until he suddenly scoffed, a reaction Daemon had hoped for secretly cause he knew what would follow. “You really think I would allow you to marry my daughter? The heir of the throne?” Daemon was aware that there was a secret fear in his brothers mind. That Daemon only ever wanted the throne no matter the cost and that's why his request would just play into that fear what got obvious in the way Viserys looked at him in full despise and anger. “My dear brother, we all mourn the loss of your beloved wife Rhea...” Words that only made Daemon silently scoff himself. “...and we all wish you happiness and a wife by your side, but I cannot give you my daughter. You must have known that and still you came here to ask?”

It was Rhaenyra who stepped forward, trying to adress her father while Daemons eyes were now focused on Alicent to assure her that everything went like he planned it. While his queen was still confused, he was glad that her grip around their daughter tightened to prevent any further reaction from their kids who probably didn't know what to think of this either. Viserys stopped his daughters words that tried to perceive him and looked back at his brother who now slowly raised to his feet again. “My answer is no, prince Daemon. But considering your bravery to step forward to ask for this, I will allow you something else. Someone else.” Now it was getting interesting and Daemon folded his hands in front of his hips to seem as innocent and surprised about his offer as he could. “Name someone else. And I will gladly accept any name you will come forward with.” Any. Exactly the word he had hoped for.

The smirk on Daemons face increased and now he knew that Alicent must've understood what he was really aiming for here: a compromise. When the king denies him something first, his kindness will make him offer something better. Something else. The prince created an impossible situation the king had to decline just to offer him something he couldn't say no to again. “I want Alicent.” The roaming that went through the room now was louder than before but then stopped as the king suddenly raised from his chair with fury written on his face he tried to suppress as good as he could, but Daemon knew anger when he saw it in his brother.

“How dare you?”

Daemon just shrugged and looked at his kids whose eyes were focused on him. “You said I can have anyone else. I want Alicent. I want to be with her and my kids.” Alicent shielded Helaena in her arms in that moment, but Aegon II just gasped and looked back to his mother in confusion. They had never told them the truth to protect them from the consequences, but they both knew that their smart girl would probably knew it through her dreams while Aemond had always looked at Daemon like a father figure already, that's why his expression probably didn't even shift at all.

“Everyone leaves the room.” the king declared with coldness in his voice and waited for everyone heading to the door besides Rhaenyra and Alicent with their kids. “You too.”

Neither the princess nor the queen wanted to leave, but they had no chance to disobey the kings command and slowly moved down the stairs to head to the door as well. “It’ll be fine.” Daemon whispered as Alicent passed him close enough to hear his words and lightly touched his fingers with her tips under strict glares of the king whose stare probably wanted to kill the prince right here. Just as the door closed Viserys approached his brother who lowered his head in respect, but the firm “look at me” forced him to raise his eyes again in the moment as Viserys fist hit him right to his face and brought him to his knees since he simply wanted him to have that moment of control when he was so close to losing it forever. “Your kids? How can you even dare of disrespecting your king like that, Daemon?”

Daemon needed a moment to recollect his thoughts but instead of getting up again he just spit out the blood in his mouth and looked up at his brother with full determination. “It is the truth. Or do you really think you’d be able to produce heirs at this point?” Another angry kick hit him right into his stomach, but this time it wasn’t something he didn’t expect to happen and could just laugh about. Pain was always a known thing for the prince, it pleased him in a way even cause it reminded him of how alive he truly was.

“This is my wife you’re talking about. My children.”

“A wife you never loved? A wife you only chose for her youth, for her beauty and name when it should have been me taking her.” Daemon wasn’t completely wrong in saying that even if he knew that Viserys probably had no other choice back then. The king had to remarry, but why did it have to be her? The only woman he truly ever wanted?

“And you love her?” Viserys spatted and reached down to Daemons collar to pull him back on his feet to face him. “Say it. Tell it to my face.”

The prince had many devious expressions, but in this moment the former evil smirk shifted into something soft just like his eyes that started to sparkle from the tears of awe he felt for the queen. “I love her. She’s beautiful and fierce and much smarter than both of us will ever be. She has gone through so much always with her head held high and you know what’s the only moment for her where she can be weak and let it all go to be herself? When she lays in my arms at night after I fucked her. I bet you’ve never seen her look at you the way she looks at me at night because she loves me, brother. She loves me and I love her and there’s nothing you can do about it. I love her like you only ever loved Aemma.”

It was too painful for the king to listen and Daemon respected that he saw at least some form of emotional reaction now that it was about the woman he adored so much and who never got anything from him as honest as the love Viserys had for Aemma. But the prince also knew in the moment that his brother let go of him in despise, that he would never give in to his request. Not even now. Instead he walked passed him and stopped with his back turned on the prince, eyes closing from the heaviness the realization brought that these kids indeed were never his. “Marry Rhaenyra then. But do it where I can’t see it. And never come back here or to my wife.”

Daemon couldn’t believe this, that even in this moment he would rather have him marry his daughter than to give up a woman he didn’t even love out of duty. “Even now you belittle your only daughter because of spite? Do you think she’ll ever forgive you that you favor a woman you don’t love to her? Give Alicent free, brother. End this madness for her, can’t you see your wife is suffering?” It didn’t seem that Viserys cared or maybe he was just too weak to settle this in another way that could make him lose his pride, but without another word he left the throne room to speak to Rhaenyra who waited outside.

Daemon shook his head in disbelief, angry about himself and his failed plan that he only could come outside with a lowered head, heavy from shame. It didn’t matter anymore. If he really had to leave kings landing for good, he didn’t care about any other consequences anymore and he should at least have the right to say goodbye to the love of his life, didn’t he? While the king was distracted by the argument with his daughter, Daemon approached Alicent with a defeated smile but before he could say something it was Helaena who released herself from her mothers embrace to wrap her tiny arms around the prince. “I always knew.” she murmured and left him no other choice than holding her, his hand caressing her long white locks which made all of this even more bittersweet.

“Why did you do that?” Alicent asked and knew that she probably was right, but still he could just shrug and murmured “I had to try. I promised you.” It was Aegon who was the only one still standing there with suspicions towards his real father, while Aemond just looked at him with respect and nodded. Even if he was the youngest and still too small to leave him behind, he often behaved like the most grown up and filled Daemons chest always with pride. Helaenas arms released from his waist and in the moment he approached Alicent to rest his hand on her cheek, Viserys head finally turned to sent them a last threatening look, but Daemon couldn’t care less anymore.

He was too busy with wiping away the tear that rolled down her cheek and leaned in to have their foreheads rested against each other. “Do not cry, my love. It’ll be worth it, time is on our side you have to believe in it.”

“Let me come with you.” Aemond suddenly said, his eyes firmly on his father who just shook his head.

“No, you have to stay with your mother. She needs you. All of you.”

“But Dragonstone might offer me a dragon. I might finally be able to…”

“I said no.” Daemon interrupted him with a commanding voice, his eyes now focusing on the small boy he kneeled down to now. “You can visit me. Visit me with your mother. For now I need you here. Help her to calm his mind. It is my fault that his blood is raging now, but it won’t be me who will be able to calm it. You will.”

The princess steps in their backs were the reason he got up again, a deep breath later allowing him to turn back to his queen so he could cup her face and lean in for a kiss to her cheek, her ear close enough to whisper in it. “Visit me. I’ll always wait for you.” Alicent nodded and what first just was meant as his goodbye, shifted now into an urge he couldn’t suppress and led him against her lips for a kiss of bittersweet devotion and a promise that even a marriage with the princess couldn’t break. “Find me.” he said to the family he had to leave behind before the king would behead him and even if Rhaenyra had witnessed the kiss with her former best friend it didn’t even seem to unsettle her. Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised him since her confidence was always her biggest strength.

“Let us leave, uncle. I have no interest in staying at a place where I’m constantly reminded that I’m worth less than anyone else to my father.” It was a reaction that was understandable and somehow Daemon felt regret for ruining her relationship to her father even more, but at least all truths were spoken now and hopefully everyone would know where they truly stood. Time would tell how it would solve itself, but for now Daemon couldn’t wait to mount his dragon and escape the mess he had created, even when the outcome wasn’t the one he hoped for and the woman by his side wasn’t the one he wanted to marry truly.

At least he tried. At least he made his promise come true that he would try and ask for her hand to prove her that she would always get anything from him no one else would ever offer her. That at least one person in her life would risk it all for her and that what they had was true. Not her father, not her husband. But him. There would never be anything he wouldn’t do for her, even if it caused a war or the final loss of the man he called his brother.

[mountttmase]

Cherry Earrings

Note - okay before we start I need you to listen to this song first, or have it on it the background cause this fic is heavily based on it. Thank you to the anons I spoke to about this a while back as it got me back into writing when I was struggling. I really hope you all enjoy and feedback is appreciated as always ❤️

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 3.3K

Warnings - fluff and some suggestive content

There was something about England in the sun that always picked your mood up drastically. After months of grey skies and wind so forceful it nearly knocked you over most mornings, waking up to blue skies and the heat of the sun on your face made you happier than you ever thought it could.

It was one of those rare days that you and Mason had to yourselves. No where to be and no one to answer to but yourselves so when Mason suggested the idea of a picnic in the park near by that afternoon you were happy to agree.

You were currently in the small Sainsbury’s near your house, basket filled high with snacks and drinks for your afternoon of soaking up the sun when you realised how much crap you’d both picked up so you dragged him back to the front of the shop.

‘I think we should get some fruit Mase. What do you fancy?’ You asked, hearing him groan at the thought of something healthy.

His eyes scanned over the shelves, seemingly disinterested until his eyes lit up when they landed on what he wanted. A cheeky smirk on his face as he bought his lips to your ear and his hand that was perched on your shoulder suddenly moved down carefully to the back of your arm.

‘How about some cherries?’ He whispered, a shiver rolling down your spine at his words as his thumb lightly stroked over one particular spot. Sometimes you thought he could point out where the tiny drawing was in the dark but you suppose it helped with him having the same thing in the same place on his own body.

You laughed, picking up the box before turning to him. You knew you were blushing by the way he was looking at you and even though you were in a public place where people knew exactly who he was, you let him dip his head down to kiss you sweetly.

Matching tattoos was something you’d never thought about until that fateful night in Portland a few years ago. You hadn’t been seeing Mason that long in the grand scheme of things, the pair of you meeting when he’d accidentally stolen your taxi but since you were both going the same way you decided to share. it was very unlike you but you gave him your number when you’d both arrived at your destination, him asking to see you again and you were too blinded by his smile to disagree.

You both told each other you weren’t looking for anything too serious, but that was out the window by day three. Not able to keep away from each other for too long and you loved getting to know every inch of him. You weren’t official but you knew it was coming soon, so when he invited you away for a long weekend with some of his friends and their girlfriends you jumped at the chance.

You figured Portland was an odd choice, but after Mason explained it was out the way and hopefully they could keep a low profile you understood why and couldn’t wait to go. You’d never done anything this exciting before and the fact you got to do it with Mason made the whole trip even better.

You and Mason were sharing the loft room of the huge house you’d all rented and were using the fact that no one could hear you from all there way up their to your advantage. You couldn’t keep your hands off of each other and most nights it felt like you barely slept but on the last night things had taken a weird turn when you’d gone out for some some celebratory drinks before heading home the next afternoon.

Reece’s idea of going to bar for ‘a few’ had turned into a mini bar crawl and whilst on your way to your fourth at nearly 3am, Ben had spotted a tattoo shop tucked away in a alley next to where you were just about to enter.

‘We should so get tattoos together’ he exclaimed, throwing an arm around Masons shoulder as he pulled his date along by the hand.

‘Is that not a bit weird?’ Mason laughed, dragging you through the door and into a small booth at the back. The bar wasn’t overly loud or crowded but the boys always liked the space since they never knew who was around and you liked how they could just be themselves for a bit without constantly watching over their shoulder.

‘They don’t have to be matching, just something to remember the weekend by’ he told you all and even though everyone else seemed on board, Mason looked at you with curious eyes. Unsure of if it was something you’d be up for but you just smiled at him before giving your drink order to Ben who’s round it was.

You never seen Mason this drunk before. Not that he was hammered by any stretch of the imagination, but his little tipsy smile and soft bleary eyes were pulling at your heart strings and you couldn’t help but lean over and kiss him.

‘You two need to learn to keep your hands off each other’ Ben laughed as he made his way back, drinks for everyone and a shot as extra but Mason just pushed his shot to you.

‘Mase? Don’t you want it?’

‘I’ve had enough. You have it’ he smiled

‘Why won’t you drink with me?’ You pouted and even though you’d just been told off for not keeping your lips to yourself he lent back in to kiss you quickly.

‘It doesn’t matter. you’re having a good time right?’ He asked and you nodded at him enthusiastically. ‘Look I would, I just know there’s a long walk home. I want at least one of us to have their wits about them and I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you just because I didn’t know my limit’ he told you softly, feeling your heart thump at sweet words. Thinking about your safety when it had completely gone over the top of your head to think about anything else but what was happening in the moment.

The others had abandoned you at the table now, Mason pulling you in closer so he could kiss you again and you let him. Cupping his jaw to keep him close as his kisses were more addictive tonight and you didn’t want to be away from him. You weren’t too sure of it was the alcohol making the pair of you a bit more carefree but it’s like you didn’t care who could be watching you, you just wanted to be close.

His kisses were slow and sexy, pulling a content hum from you as he continually brushed he tongue against yours. His hands were planted on your waist as he carefully skimmed his thumbs across your skin, feeling his gentle touches through your clothes and you shivered at the intimacy of it all. You’d never kissed anyone how Mason kissed you, real kisses that made your head spin and when he bit your lip you had to stop yourself from moaning too loud. You could of kissed him forever but the sound of Reece’s laugh pulled you apart from each other.

‘You two coming?’ You suddenly heard behind you, turning to see Reece and his girlfriend looking at you with giant smiles. You’d wondered if time had suddenly passed by really quickly but a short glance at the clock behind the bar showed you’d only been here around 15 minutes or so.

‘Where?’ Mason asked as Reece began to walk away but he quickly stepped back so you could hear him.

‘Bens convinced us to get tattoos so we’re heading out. You coming?’

‘We’ll meet you in there’ Mason told him before they swayed out, holding onto each other for dear life as their legs struggled to carry them away. ‘We don’t have to, not if you don’t want to’ he said seriously.

‘Fuck it’ you laughed, downing the rest of your drink and pecking his lips again before grabbing your bag. ‘Whatever, let’s do it’

‘Promise me you’re sure’ he laughed, turning your face to him and you gave him what you thought was a reassuring smile but the alcohol pumping through you right now meant it could of looked like anything.

‘Promise. Now come on, they’re waiting’

You followed him inside the tattoo shop, noticing Ben already getting ready for his whilst Reece stood looking at the wall, trying to pick something to add to his collection. You were all going small, something silly and random but all the designs were starting to overwhelm you and you were glad you had Mason behind you for support.

‘What you thinking?’ Mason asked after a while, his chin resting in your shoulder as he held you by your waist.

‘I’m not sure, I don’t want it to be too random’ you told him, but he wasn’t listening fully. His lips on your neck placing wet open mouthed kisses that were making your tummy flutter. ‘Come on Mase, help’ you laughed, tapping his hand and he smiled into your neck before his eyes glanced back up at the wall. ‘What are you getting?’

‘I was thinking the little cherries’ he told you, nodding to the small drawing and you fell in love with them instantly.

‘Why the cherries?’

‘Cause it reminds me of the cherry earrings you’ve got in. I think they’re my favourite’ he whispered in your ear, referencing the small cherry shaped studs you’d bought in duty free on the way over and you followed his eye line to the tiny cherry symbol on the wall so you could take another look. ‘Why don’t you get it too?’

‘What, like matching with you?’

‘Yeah, I don’t see why not?’ he told you, turning your head to look up at him and he was looking back at you with a wide grin, pulling you closer to his body as he let out a little chuckle.

‘Are you sure you’re okay with the same though?’

‘Of course’

‘But what if…’ you started to ask, gulping down a nervous lump as your words trailed off. You looked down at his chest but his lips on your forehead settled you as he began to sway you from side to side softly.

‘Not gonna happen’ he spoke against your hairline quietly, making you smile that he seemed you know what you were thinking before you’d even said it. ‘And even if it does, then we’ll always be connected’ he laughed before making you look at him. ‘How I feel about you, I could never feel this way about anyone else. Known if from the moment I saw you naked’ he teased and you tapped his chest playfully. ‘If it’s too much or too soon I can pick something else’

‘No’ you smiled, shaking your before kissing him softly. ‘I think it’s cute. Let’s do it’ you told him, letting him know you were happy with your choices before you changed your mind. You knew it was crazy, you weren’t even his girlfriend officially but the thought of having tiny matching tattoos with him was an offer you couldn’t pass up.

Mason did all the talking, even offering to go first as you weren’t quite comfortable yet and you held his hand as the artist started, choosing to get it done on the back of his arm so it would be less seen. He didn’t need to as he was wearing a short sleeved top but you didn’t complain when he took it off, letting you stand and look over his perfect torso as he looked at you cheekily.

Mason eventually pulled you in between his legs so he could kiss you after a minute or so and the tattoo didn’t take much longer than that with with being so small. He hadn’t even flinched the whole time and you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or if he just had a high pain threshold but it was sexy as hell and you knew you were giving him your come to bed eyes. You were just hoping he could see it through all the alcohol clouding your vision.

‘Last chance to back out’ he laughed as the man wrapped him up but you shook your head, determined to go through with it just as Mason had. Mason carefully helped you up onto seat where he had just been and he held onto your thigh with one hand whilst linking your fingers with the others.

‘Where would you like it?’ The artist asked and you pointed to the same place Mason had his, feeling Masons chest rumble before he placed a kiss to your cheek.

‘You guys are cute’ your artist laughed, getting settled behind you and you felt Mason squeeze your hand. ‘How long have you been together?’

‘Its funny you should ask that, It’s our four year anniversary tomorrow’ Mason chirped and you almost choked on your own breath as Mason winked at you. ‘Think it’s about time I popped the question soon huh?’

‘I mean I think I’ve waited long enough’ you replied, watching his face lighten at the fact you were going along with his silly drunken joke.

‘We pretty much know how we want the wedding to be though, don’t we babe’ he smiled and your tummy flipped at the pet name, not one he’d used on you before.

‘We sure do. Private ceremony with all our family and closest friends’

‘And then a massive party afterwards for everyone with an open bar’

‘And I’ve love a chocolate fountain’

‘And personalised cocktails. One for each of us’

‘In the evenings we’ll let everyone set off a lantern just like in tangled’

‘I definitely want our dog to be the ring barer and wear a little suit’

‘And Summer can be my bridesmaid, Mila too if she’s old enough by then’ you laughed and his whole face changed into the most loving look you’d ever seen him give you.

‘I’d love that so much’ he whispered, his drunken eyes getting a little glassy and you reached up with you free hand to cup his jaw. Kissing the tip of his nose to hopefully make him smile and lucky for you it worked.

‘Right, you’re all done’ you suddenly heard, not feeling a thing as Mason had distracted you the whole way through and you laughed as you caught sight of it in the mirror before you were all wrapped up.

Mason refused to let you pay for yours, calling it an early engagement present which no one else seemed to understand but you didn’t care. You were in your own little bubble with him and the fact you had this weird private joke going on now made you even happier.

You all compared tattoos on the way home, the others going for smiley faces or stars and they were all pretty shocked when you revealed that yours and Masons were matching but the six of you ended up in a fit of giggles when it finally hit you what you’d all done.

By the time your head hit the pillow, you were too far gone to be intimate in anyway with the man next to you so you curled up into his chest and fell asleep to the soft feeling of his fingers dancing over your back.

The next morning you didn’t want to move in fear of your brain possibly falling out of your head as it was thumping so hard. You turned to look at Mason though, still asleep beside you but he was turned with his back facing you and the first thing you saw was the two little cherries that now sat proudly on the back of his arm.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the realisation that the pair of you were now bound by a piece of fruit that was permanently etched onto your skin was funnier than it should of been and Mason eventually turned to give you a confused look.

‘You alright there?’ He smiked, pulling you flush against him and you nodded into his neck, trying to calm yourself so you could form a coherent sentence. ‘Hey, what’s so funny?’

‘Why the fuck did we get matching cherry tattoos last night?’

‘It seemed romantic at the time’ he shrugged, the smile in his voice evident but you felt it against your skin when he kissed your forehead. ‘Why, do you regret it?’

‘Not even a little bit’ you whispered, kissing his chest as you felt him relax.

‘Well thank god for that. Would of been difficult to explain to my dad that I need a tattoo removal booked in for me and my girlfriend’

‘What?’ You breathed, pulling back to look at him properly and he was giving you shy smile.

‘Well, I don’t know about you but I don’t get matching tattoos with just anybody. Figured the girl i love could do with an updated title’

‘Are you love bombing me?’ You laughed, shuffling up carefully so you were now eye level and even in his hungover state you could of sworn you’d never seen anyway look better.

‘I’m just letting you know how I feel’ he smiled but you saw his face faulted ever so slightly. ‘Thought it might of been the alcohol making me feel things last night but I still feel the same now. Why is it too much?’

‘Not at all. For the record I was hoping the boy I loved might ask me to be his girlfriend soon’

‘Oh yeah?’ He laughed, hiding his face in the pillow before peering back at you through one eye. ‘You should tell him to hurry up’

‘Nah, I’ve got you now. He can wait’ you teased, both laughing as you held onto each other. ‘Although if you make me wait four years before you propose I’m off’ you winked before leaning down to kiss him gently. ‘I mean it though, I love you’

‘I love you, too’ he smiled, pushing your head down lightly so you’d kiss him again and you shivered as you felt him lightly brush over the small tattoo as he smiled into your mouth. ‘Maybe that can be my name for you. My little cherry’ he laughed before his hand travelled down to your bum to give it a gentle squeeze.

‘I guess it’s lucky I didn’t get the banana earrings. I don’t think that would work the same’ you told him and he laughed loudly as he pulled you on top of his body.

‘No but you can call me that if you like’ he winked, tickling your sides as you buried your head in his neck. ‘It’s not little though’

‘No, Mase. You have a very big banana’ you reassured him with a roll of your eyes and he tickled your sides gently as you felt him press his hips up into you.

‘You don’t sound convinced, maybe I should remind you’ he whispered in your ear before rolling you onto your back, your finger absentmindedly tracing the new tattoo on his arm as a warm feeling rushed throughout your body. Mason was yours, and in your gut you knew this could be a forever thing. Your matching tattoos only making everything feel more real.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed :) I’d love to know what you thought so please feel free to comment or drop me an ask, l'd really appreciate it, much love 💕

[estrellami-1]

The Bet

So @artiststarme wrote this blurb about the boys’ first serious argument being about how Steve doesn’t like Ozzy Osbourne. I was on my KNEES in the comment section asking if I could flesh it out, and this is the result. I hope you like it!! ❤️

The thing is, they actually have a really healthy relationship.

Everyone mentions it, whether in response to how similar it is to something their parents do, or something the complete opposite of what their parents do.

“Wait,” Max said once. “Weren’t you just arguing?”

Steve and Eddie looked at each other. “We disagreed,” Steve started cautiously. “That doesn’t mean we were arguing or fighting. Sometimes a disagreement doesn’t end in yelling, y’know? Actually it never has to end in yelling, but people are messy and emotional and that’s what it usually ends up as. But… no. We weren’t really arguing.”

Mike narrowed his eyes at Steve when he came to watch Hellfire once. “What’re you doing here?”

Steve shrugged, smiling. “Watching.”

“Why? You don’t even like D&D.”

“I don’t hate it. And Eddie likes it. We make time to engage in things the other likes. Share interests.”

Mike’s nose wrinkled as he thought about it. “Share interests?”

“That is what I said. He watches basketball with me. Can’t tell me a single thing about it, but he watches and gets excited whenever I do.”

“And we share music with each other,” Eddie added, smirking. “Stevie here’s officially a fan of Dio.”

The thing is, they don’t really argue. It gets to the point where people are starting to bet on when and what their first fight would be about.

Eddie brings it up during band practice one day. “I just don’t get it,” he says. “Steve and I have, arguably, the healthiest relationship out of anybody we know, and now everyone’s fucking betting on our first argument? Do they want us to fight? Do they want us to break up?”

“I mean,” Jeff starts cautiously, “You two are an unlikely pair. He’s part of the group that bullied us in high school. You two couldn’t really be more different if you tried. Like, I get that opposites attract or whatever, but some similarities could be a good thing, y’know?”

Eddie stares for a minute, then abruptly says, “Okay, so I’m not sure about the key on the first song,” and that’s it. Band practice continues.

Eddie, however, is stuck on that moment. He thinks about it all the way home, is preoccupied enough that Steve surprises him when he walks over and slides a hand over his back. “Eds?”

Eddie jumps slightly before turning to face Steve, inadvertently dislodging the hand on his back. “Steve?” Steve stays quiet, lets him think, put the words in the right order. “Do… do you think we’re too different?”

Steve jerks back in shock. “What? Eddie, where is this coming from?”

Eddie shakes his head, sighs, drags fingers through his hair. Won’t meet Steve’s eyes. “No, sorry, it’s stupid, just drop it.”

Steve ducks to catch his gaze, smiling hopefully up at him. “Hey. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know,” Eddie says, then turns around. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you,” Steve returns. “To answer your question, though… I don’t think we’re too different. I mean, We’re working out pretty fine right now. We communicate, we work out our problems… we love each other, plain and simple. We try to get into each others interests. Sure, there are probably things each of us will never really love—you and basketball, for example, and I just don’t understand the hype surrounding Ozzy Osbourne—but-”

“Wait,” Eddie interrupts, brows furrowing. “You don’t get the hype surrounding Ozzy Osbourne?”

Steve shrugs. “No, not really. I don’t like his music.”

“Oh, that- that’s great.” He huffs a hysterical laugh and begins to pace. “I play him constantly, Steve, and you’ve never once said anything?”

“I don’t-”

“And if that’s a lie, what else? D&D? Metallica? Dio?”

“That’s not-”

“Hell, I told Mike that you liked Dio! Was that a lie?”

“No, it-”

“Do I have to go to Mike fuckin’ Wheeler and tell him I lied? Because you don’t tell me things like ‘I don’t like Ozzy Osbourne’?”

“It’s called being in a relationship,” Steve says, louder than either of them had been up to that point. “And I could say the same of you! I know you hate sports. I know you don’t understand basketball and you think football is boring. You refuse to run with me. I know you don’t like it but I thought that’s part of loving each other. Doing so in spite of everything we don’t like. Or has it all been an act for you? Is it all a character you’re playing?” He snaps his mouth shut, takes a few deep breaths, and shakes his head. “I’m going home. Come to me when you’re ready to talk, instead of throwing accusations at me.”

And there Eddie’s left, gripping onto the kitchen counter, watching as Steve walks out the door.

A few days later, Robin Buckley storms in. “Edward Munson, what the hell did you do?”

“Whoa there, missy,” Wayne says. “What’s got you up in a huff?”

Robin does, indeed, huff. “Eddie upset Steve.”

Wayne raises a brow, considers her, then nods. “How about a cup of tea after you’re done yellin’ at him?”

Robin stops short, thinks about it, and nods. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

Wayne just chuckles and shoos her in the direction of Eddie’s room.

She slams the door open, watching as Eddie jumps a foot into the air, his wide eyes opening even wider as he realizes who he’s looking at. “Yeah, dipshit, it’s me,” she says, crossing her arms. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Do you know how upset Steve is? He doesn’t know if he’s still your boyfriend, and I’m honestly considering telling him to end it now. What the hell could’ve happened to make you avoid him like you’ve been doing? You and I may be friends, but Steve and I are platonic-with-a-capital-p soulmates, and he’ll always come first.”

Eddie gapes at her. “I- he-” he groans and buries his head in his hands. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”

“Majorly,” Robin agrees. “I’ve half a mind to not let you see him, actually, except I know how sneaky you are, and I know you’d find a way regardless. If you thought it was important enough.”

“If-” Eddie gapes again. “He’s the most important thing. I was upset, and I took some things to heart that I really shouldn’t have, and oh, holy shit, I need to talk to him-”

Robin nods approvingly. “Go fix it, Munson.” She leans casually against his doorframe, then says as if completely changing the topic, “y’know, Nancy’s been teaching me to shoot. It’s fun.”

Eddie pales appropriately. “Robin Buckley, you are the scariest woman on the planet, second only to Nancy, and no one deserves you,” he says seriously, laughing when she nods.

Robin wanders back out to the kitchen, where Wayne hands her a mug with a grin. “Heard you gave ‘im hell.”

“Yup,” Robin answers. “He’s gonna go fix it. If he doesn’t, I hope you’ll be okay living on your own.”

Wayne shrugs, an amused twist to his mouth. “I survived thirty-eight years on my own. I think I can do it again.”

“Good,” Robin says, and that’s that, and they both turn to watch as Eddie races out the door.

“Shit shit shit,” Eddie mutters as he throws himself into the driver’s seat. He turns the car on and curses again as fucking Ozzy Osbourne blasts through the speakers. He ejects the tape and tossed it behind him, prepared to sit in silence on the way to Steve’s.

Eleven and a half minutes later, Eddie pulls up to Steve’s house and knocks on the door, shifting impatiently.

Steve opens the door twenty-seven seconds later, and twelve minutes after leaving his house, Eddie says, “I’m so sorry.”

It’s the first thing out of his mouth, flying out practically without permission. There was a plan, a script, but he sees Steve’s hazel eyes and forgets everything he’d ever known.

Steve regards him, then nods and moves aside, inviting him in with a wave of his hand.

“I got really insecure about something and exploded instead of just talking it through,” Eddie continues. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of what I said. I just-” he tears a hand through his hair, makes a frustrated sound.

Steve gently touches his arm, gets his hand out of his hair, directs him to sit on a couch. “I know,” he says quietly, then sighs. “And I owe you an apology. It takes two to argue. I shouldn’t have gotten riled up when you did. It didn’t help anything.”

“This isn’t your fault,” Eddie whispers, desperate to make him understand. “Stevie. This is completely on me.”

“How about we start over?” Steve suggests. “You asked if we were too different. Where’d you get that idea?”

“The band,” Eddie admits. “I was thinking out loud, wondering why everyone had started a betting pool on our first argument, and Jeff said that he thinks it’s because we’re really different. And then I kept thinking about it and got insecure about it. And then you said what you did, about not liking Ozzy, and that really got me insecure because that was the first real compliment I gave you.” Steve blinks, confused. “In the Upside Down? He bit a bat’s head off onstage?”

“Oh, shit,” Steve whispers, understanding trickling in.

“So I thought- I don’t know what I thought. I guess I thought it was all fake, that since you didn’t like or accept the compliment, or whatever…” he shakes his head. “It really is stupid. And I’m so sorry I let it go so far.”

Steve sighs. “And I’m sorry. I’d completely forgotten about that complement. I do know how much that means to you, though. And I might not like the guy’s music, but I’ve got no opinions on the man himself. I guess I should’ve specified. And like I said earlier, I never should’ve risen to the bait. I never should’ve said what I did about sports and exercise. So I’m sorry, too.” He holds a tentative hand up, and Eddie pushes it out of the way in favor of wrapping his arms around Steve, who huffs a laugh and returns the gesture. “Love you, Eds,” he murmurs.

“Love you, Stevie. ‘M sorry.”

“‘S alright. I’m sorry too.”

“‘S alright.” They both giggle and pull back a bit, just to lean in again and press their lips together.

“Next time we talk about it,” Steve mutters after they pull apart.

“Agreed,” Eddie says, then pauses. “So who do you think won the bet about our first argument?”

Permanent Taglist:

@justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme

[etheries1015]

Hello Ethie!! How have you been?❤️

I just read those "overworking reader with Artem and Zhongli" and they were so sweet, and I was wondering - if your requests are open if you could write something on that topic but for Gepard Geppie and Welt?<3 Comfort fluff, sweet comfort, tooth rotting safety- hwjwdkfkka

Thank you so much for your time either way!❤️

I've definitely been better...haha. Thanks for asking<3

Comforting an overworked S/O

Featuring: Gepard, Welt

General warnings: Gender neutral reader, pet names such as "dear" "honey" and "Love" are used, maybe OOC? I haven't played star rail as much as I would like lately since i've been on a Genshin hyperfixation this past month. But I shall try my best <3 I am not very confident in writing for welt either lol.

TW: None! Let me know if I missed any, and I shall update this section accordingly~

Gepard

You never thought you'd see the day your boyfriend, the most hardworking silvermane guard you have ever laid eyes on, would be chastising YOU over your workload rather than vice versa. He was practically begging you to take a break, and you fervently disagreed.

"Geppie, please," You sighed, turning in your chair and facing the tall blonde male, "I really, really need to get this down...it could determine my entire FUTURE! Quite literally!" Gepard doesn't enjoy arguing with you, and doesn't want to force you to do anything you rather not do. However he couldn't help but purse his lips and sigh in (very rare) mild annoyance.

"I...understand your duties are important to you, and I believe that working hard will get you everywhere you need to be, but I also..." He blushed and moved his hand behind his head, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I also think breaks are important...and taking care of yourself. You're the one who taught me that," His cheeks were painted a rosy hue as you sighed and sat down your pencil, rubbing your temples before nodding in defeat.

"Yeah," You grumbled, "you're right. I'm sorry." Gepard, with a big smile scooped you up excitedly with his strong arms and began to walk out of the room you were religiously studying in. You gasped in surprise and quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, eyebrows lifted in shock at his sudden actions.

"What're you doing??" You asked with a smile playing at the corner of your lips, Gepard smiling back at you.

"A change of scenery is always good...let's cook dinner together, or we could...um.." Upon entering the kitchen you noticed a plant you had not seen before sitting atop the kitchen counter, the leaves were withered and the flower was browning at the top. Gepard put you down quickly to rush over to the plant's side, flustered and trying to hide it.

"N-no! Don't look, I um..." You looked at him with an amused raised brow, you walked up to your tall boyfriend and stared him in the eyes with a challenging stare.

"Geppie..." You chuckled, "What was that flower? I don't think i've seen it before." Grumbling in embarrassment, Gepard pulled the flower pot from behind him, showing a withering...ball peonies? You couldn't tell exactly what kind of flower it was, but it didn't matter.

"It was supposed to be...a present for you for working so hard, but I guess I forgot to put it back in its hiding spot after I watered it and now I spoiled the surprise...but, um, I guess it isn't turning out as good as I hoped, I thought maybe with a little more care, it would bloom properly," The way his head drooped reminded you of a sad little puppy. Still, you couldn't help but smile affectionately towards the wilting bloom. You grabbed hold of the flower before gently kissing your boyfriend's cheek and setting it aside, his arms engulfing you in a hug. You could really feel just how much he cared for you, and how much he wished you would care for yourself just the same.

"Let's get dinner started, shall we, my love?"

WELT

You could feel his eyes burning the back of your head, his hands folded upon the handle of his cane staring at you from the door way of your bedroom.

"And just how long do you plan on neglecting your crewmates?" The brown-haired male inquired, "You've been here for a rather long time. The others are starting to wonder if you're alive." you chuckled at his rare sarcasm, turning to face welt with bags apparent under your eyes and fatigue obvious upon your person. His eyes widened slightly at your disheveled state, taking notice of the pile of study materials behind you, your unkempt hair, and an outfit he was pretty sure he saw you in at least three days prior.

"You look worse for wear," Welt pursed his lips, the grip on his cane tightening, "Still studying?" You sighed and turned back to your mess of a desk, running your hands through your hair before plopping your head against the table. You heard him advance towards you with the door behind him closing, a hand soon making its way to the top of your head.

"It is important to...shower, once in a while," Welt noted as he stroked the top of your head lovingly before pulling up a second chair to sit next to you. You already felt guilty, you knew what he was going to say and how he was going to lecture you about your pitiful state. Instead, he left out a light sigh, picking up a pen and pulling your notebook towards him.

"Which part are you struggling on? I'm fairly knowledgeable about a variety of things, perhaps I can assist you," He insisted. You shook your head and pulled the notebook out of his grasp, sitting back against the chair.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I need to do this on my own. How will I succeed if I don't learn these things on my own?"

"And how do you suppose you will succeed if you work yourself to death?" He rebutted bluntly, removing the notebook from your hands and setting it against the desk. Welt took his palms and placed them upon your own, squeezing lightly.

"If you will not allow me to help you with your studies, at the very least allow me to help you help yourself. Have dinner with me." You bit your bottom lip in contemplation, glancing between your caring boyfriend and the pile of study material you have spent days staring at. Using his slender hands Welt swiftly placed his fingers gently against your chin, forcing your gaze away from the dreadful work and into his brown orbs full of pure affection. With a blush and a defeated sigh, you gave him a slight nod in understanding, causing a smile to curl onto his lips.

"Good. And...let's draw you a bath too," Welt said, standing up and holding his hand out. You gave him a flirty chuckle and half-joked "Will you be joining me?" Turning his head away from you and leading you to the door, he let out a scoff of amusement.

"Of course I will. But let's take care of your sustenance first, dear."

~~~

Masterlist

[marsbar17]

Anymore catalyst x horizon? I love this ship so much 😭❤️ I keep re-reading your other headcanons for them 😭

I'm glad you like my other work! Honestly astrowitch is one of my favorite ships in the game hdjdhaj I love them. I don't know if I have anymore headcannons that I haven't already said so I wrote a small fic instead, I hope you like it :)

Contains: hurt/comfort, established relationship, mention of child loss, grieving

I haven't written hurt/comfort since like middle school please don't bully me hdbsjsj

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room Horizon sat in smelled heavily of incense and herbs. There were many plants lining the window sills and pretty much every other surface in the room. The space was comfortable, it felt welcoming and friendly.

Across the table in front of her sat Catalyst, looking ethereal like always. She was wearing comfortable clothes, a knit sweater and some sweatpants. She held a deck of tarot cards in her hands, shuffling them expertly. Ah, yes. They were having their weekly tea date. Catalyst had offered to give Horizon a tarot reading, since she seemed more spaced out than usual.

"Just think about what's been troubling you. It could be in the form of a question, or not." Catalyst's voice cut through the silent room, it was smooth. Horizon closed her eyes and thought about it. The room fell into comfortable silence again other than the sound of cards being shuffled and placed on the table. "Okay, open your eyes. Let me see what the cards have to say."

Horizon sipped her tea, tasting like lemon and lavender, and watched her girlfriend flip over the cards. Her fingers were entrancing, the way they moved without stutter or hesitation. She always seemed so confident in her actions. Horizon couldn't help but be amazed.

"The empress, reversed... Five of cups... The sun, reversed... oh Mary, you poor thing." Catalyst's expression changed, and she looked at Horizon in worry. It was obvious the cards weren't saying anything good.

"You're gonna have to tell me what they mean, Tressa. I'm not a mind reader." Horizon joked, trying to cover up her nervousness at the situation. She hated being vulnerable. She was supposed to be the one to comfort others, so when the situation flipped around on her it made her feel weak and scared.

To distract her from her discomfort, Horizon focused on the drawings that adorned the cards. They were hand drawn, all signed with a small star and moon in the bottom corner. Catalyst had made them recently and insisted on giving every legend a tarot reading to break them in. Every reading so far had been pretty positive, singing praise of strength and intelligence. This was the first time Horizon had seen Catalyst so troubled by the cards.

"Are you sure you want to hear it? I'm afraid it will be quite harsh."

"I'm stronger than you think, dear. I can take whatever this deck of cards will tell me." Horizon faked a smile and gestured for the other to go ahead with the reading. Still, Catalyst hesitated for a second.

"Okay," Catalyst sighed. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you."

The Empress is often a sing of fertility and femininity. When reversed, it signifies an emptiness within a person or that insecurities are showing. It can also signify a lack of progress.

"I feel like, maybe you are struggling to heal from a trauma that happened in your life. You miss something, it's making you feel empty, and you haven't been able to accept that it will never come back."

Horizon stared straight at the card, not wanting to see the pity that she could tell was in Catalyst's gaze. She didn't agree nor disagree with the statement, she couldn't bear to lie, but she couldn't admit her struggle either. So she chose to sit in silence and let her girlfriend move on to the next card.

The five of cups is a symbol of negative feelings, and often even just the sight of it makes a person feel discontent. They may be feeling disappointment or like they've been let down by someone close to them. It is also often associated with loss, grief, and mourning.

"You're grieving for someone... or something." Horizon could tell that Catalyst knew exactly who she was grieving for. "You're mourning something that you've lost. This can be the same thing that caused that sense of emptiness."

This time, Catalyst reached over to take Horizon's hand once she was done talking. She rubbed her thumb soothingly over her girlfriend's knuckles, and suddenly Horizon was aware of how her hands looked in comparison to the younger woman's. Horizon wasn't old, but she definitely wasn't young either.

She didn't understand how Catalyst was so okay with dating someone so much older than her. Sure, the age gap wasn't even ten years, but most people felt weird about the whole "lost in a blackhole for 87 years" thing. Catalyst didn't seem to mind though, in fact, she thought it was super interesting how space worked.

"Let's get through the last card. Is that okay, Mary?"

Horizon just nodded, finding that she was too choked up to speak.

The Sun represents joy, happiness, confidence, and success. Somewhat obviously The Sun reversed is a symbol of depression, pessimism, and overall negativity. This may be something bad that has happened to a person, causing them to feel negative, or it can also be a sign that you are being too unrealistic and need to ground yourself.

"The last card is telling me that the cause of your emptiness, your trauma, is preventing you from continuing on in your life. You can't do certain things that you'd like to because of this negativity bearing down on you." Catalyst looked up when she finished talking while Horizon continued to stare at the cards. "Mary... I know you miss Newton."

"I don't want to talk about him, Tressa." For the first time since she entered the room, Horizon didn't try to fake being happy. Catalyst knew that she was grieving, and that fact made her want to hide away forever.

"That's alright, love. What can I do to help you?"

"Some tea would be nice, and maybe we can just sit together?" Horizon looked up into Catalyst's eyes for the first time since the tarot reading began. In her gaze, she found the pity she was afraid of, but it was mostly overwhelmed by adoration and care.

"That sounds lovely. Let me put a kettle on." Catalyst stood up from the table, gently letting go of Horizon's hand as she walked towards the kitchen. "I assume you'd like something calming? Lavender?"

"You know me so well, dear." Horizon smiled. As Catalyst busied herself getting the tea together, Horizon took to running her fingers over the drawings on the cards. Such delicate, pretty things, and yet they tell you all your fears and worries.

Oh Newt, how I miss you...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if it's a bit short, I've been sick and stressed over classes dhdbjsksk

Remember that liking and reblogging my work helps me a lot as a creator and takes like 5 seconds.

Also requests are always welcome! I really enjoy doing them :)

[in-flvx]

i dislike the incorrect quote too but i disagree with your tags on that post - i hope that's OK. i don't think remus actually wanted or expected sirius to help him study. yes, he knew him well after 5 years of friendship, he knew sirius was exceptionally bright but he also had to know that sirius wouldn't jump at the opportunity to revise Tranfiguration questions with him. he said what he said because he had let his frustration show for a second ('You might,' said Lupin darkly) and he needed to quickly cover his arse and defuse the tension. he wanted to take a jab at sirius but also avoid having a fight or actually talking about the matter (that's such a classic remus move imo). he knew exactly how sirius would react. and that's why he didn't ask his other friends for help - because he didn't actually want help. remus was trying to entertain and distract a bored sirius in his own way - by offering something to bitch and moan about (remus's swottiness) but james had a better idea (as always lol)

Hi ❤️

I got halfway through my response before I had to look something up and tumblr then deleted all of it 🙄

But yea it's always alright to disagree with me. I don't think we will see eye to eye on this one though.

My read of the 'you might' will probably forever be coloured by the translation I first read, in which Remus basically agrees with Sirius that it would be great if it was a full moon rn. Either way, I never read it as the negative jab (though you're right that would be very Remus), or the tension filled reference to 'the prank' which most people see in it. I'm not saying they're wrong either, I just don't read it that way.

But to the more important part... Sirius bitching and moaning about remus' swottiness is entirely fanon, and even the language you use is fanon. Sirius, in the text, never bitches or moans about anything, least of all the acquisition of knowledge. He speaks fondly about remus having been the 'good boy' who became prefect, and he never, not once, laughs about people's curiosity or smth. Not even snape, who he insults in every way possible, does he insult for learning. He critizises his posture as he writes, his hair, his clothes, but not the fact that he writes so much or reads between classes. Snapes intelligence is like the one thing Sirius respects about him.

So why would he make fun of something his friend does when he doesn't even do with his enemy.

It's also not something Remus would invite. Being ridiculed I mean. He is very concerned with the way people perceive him, and while he rarely (not never but rarely) appears as aggressive or imposing, he also uses the rules of conversation in his favor. He might not be such a master at it at 15 as he is at 34, but I don't think he'd willingly let someone make fun of him.

Which is also not what happens afterwards btw. Sirius doesn't make fun of Remus for asking for help, or for studying. He just tells him that helping Remus revise won't help Sirius with his boredom and then he moves on.

Further on, we don't know if sirius liked to help his friends revise or not. He certainly doesn't have a problem helping Harry, but that's his godson, and we know that sirius (and James) helped Peter every step of the way to become an animagus. Sirius even sends Harry extra books in ootp to help with the da. Sirius respects knowledge, and intellect. He helps other people furthering their own horizon. He wouldn't bitch or moan about remus trying to learn smth. It's only boring to sirius, who is already bored, and knows everything for the upcoming exam.

Now, idk if Remus actually wanted help, or just entertain Sirius, though I usually also go with the entertainment read of the situation, and just offered a new view with my tags on that post. But Sirius bitching and moaning about remus' swottiness is as much fanon as Sirius' inability to go a day without commenting on Remus' grandpa sweaters and how cool he is despite them, or Sirius' disbelieve that remus can both read and smoke weed.

I hope this makes sense.

[cursedvibes]

Just read a very upsetting meta calling Yuuji a decoy protagonist and megumi the true protagonist. Man I'm just so sick of jjk fans especially gojo, megumi and yuuta fans saying these things about Yuuji. It makes me want to cry I'm so tired. It's so hard being a Yuuji fan with all these awful negative takes and sometimes I really start believing them. I don't know how the manga's going to end but I hope what this person said won't become true. I honestly felt so happy and vindicated when gojo died since there's no chance of gojo vs Kenjaku happening now but the fandom won't even let me have that because they're now clamouring for yuuta vs Kenjaku. God I hope yuuta dies and megumi suffers character assassination. I want their fans to seethe just like gojo fans just did, just like how Yuuji fans have had to endure all those jokes and mean comments all this time. Suffer as we did. Only that'll help me feel somewhat good. The meta writer also thinks that nothing will come of Yuuji and Kenjaku's confrontation, Kenjaku's obviously moved on from Yuuji and yuuta vs Kenjaku makes more sense since it was foreshadowed. Not if yuuta dies by Sukuna's hand I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I hope the meta writer is also proven humiliatingly wrong. But no use in hoping and wishing it'll only lead to my disappointment. I'm so tensed over how the story's gonna unfold now.

Thank you for providing a safe space for Yuuji, Kenjaku fans and fans of other underappreciated characters. You're the first person I met in this fandom who liked Yuuji and Kenjaku. You've no idea how happy and grateful I am for that. Reading your blog truly makes my day. Thank you so much❤️. And sorry for the vent post, you don't have to publish this if you don't want to.

I'm happy you find some enjoyment in my blog as a fellow fan of Yuuji and Kenjaku. It is very annoying to see basically every week someone complaining that Yuuji isn't enough of a protagonist just because he's not the focus 24/7 or that he needs some insane power-up to matter or accomplish anything. We already have Yuuta, Maki and Hakari, he doesn't have to be on their level, he has other skills they don't, particularly when it comes to Sukuna.

I think I know what post you are referring to. I like that meta writer, particularly their takes on Gojo and Hana, but we just don't agree on Yuuji and Kenjaku. As far as I know they're more of a Megumi fan and I can understand that those two aren't on the forefront of their mind. I didn't finish reading that post because I knew I would disagree. No hate to that person, we just disagree.

Okay, I can agree with some arguments that Gojo is the main character. I think he's A main character, since he is a big focus in the story, but I don't think he's the central main character. With Megumi and Yuuta that makes less sense to me. I'd say Maki has more relevance and focus in the story than those two. Definitely when it comes to Yuuta. Yuuta has entirely been a supportive character. He's had no arcs that focus on him, just that short fight in Sendai and even that was more about Takako's backstory than him. The only time Megumi was in focus and a major influence on the plot was in the initial phase of the Culling Game and I guess kinda now, but now he's possessed and as we saw, with the exception of characters like Yuuji and Hana he's not even a major concern to most. Sukuna is the one this is really about, not Megumi.

Even in the focus he did get, it ultimately served to propel Yuuji's development. Megumi convinces him to join the Culling Game and help him save Tsumiki, but the purpose here is to remind Yuuji of his original goal after the trauma of Shibuya, helping people, and setting up his motivation, saving Megumi, once he loses his "purpose" with Sukuna switching vessels. All Megumi's goals accomplished was get Yuuji into the Culling Game and then get possessed, so Yuuji could have more character depth and be forced to evolve beyond his martyrdom. Megumi entering the Culling Game and getting possessed was to give Yuuji breathing room to be more than Sukuna's vessel and to give him extra conviction to face Sukuna and in the physical realm on top of that. Sukuna is now a real opponent Yuuji can phase and not just some ambiguous force imprisoned within him. Hell, it even served to push Yuuji to learn more about the soul and cursed energy to be strong enough and have the specific skills to not only kill Sukuna, but also save Megumi (if he will be successful is another thing). Megumi doesn't have the presence or goals to be the main character of the story currently he's barely a vegetable, but he is a very good motivator and support system for Yuuji.

Onto the Kenjaku thing. I've seen a lot of posts and theories about how Kenjaku and Yuuta totally have to fight and that will be the final fight for Kenjaku....I'm not denying that they probably will fight, but really? Yuuta the final conflict with Kenjaku? Over Yuuji? What connection is there between them aside from Yuuta wanting it to happen and Kenjaku once being kinda dismissive of him? From Kenjaku's side there is zero investment. And you want to tell me that's better than Yuuji facing the one person responsible for all his problems including the ones relating to Sukuna? Kenjaku clearly cares about Yuuji. I don't mean they love him or anything (maybe but that's very up in the air), but they are still interested in seeing him develop and grow past his initial role as Sukuna's vessel/cage. They said as much in Shibuya. Sukuna was never meant to be inside Yuuji forever or Kenjaku could've never used him properly in their plans, Yuuji's too strong of a vessel for that. Yuuji becoming a vessel is what kickstarted everything, including Yuuji's own growth, so that much is true from what they told Choso. The rest is clearly just there to aggrevate Choso. It's pretty basic actually. Kenjaku calls Yuuji an object they don't care about anymore, but openly admit to an unaquainted party (Sasaki) that they have parental feelings for him. We see the exact same thing later with Tengen. Kenjaku dismissively calls her a thing and takes a lot of time out of their day to insult her, but when they are alone, they call her their friend. Not everything Kenjaku says, particularly in front of opponents, reflects their true feelings.

I think Yuuji is very similar to the merger curse for them, just with a less defined goal. Yuuji is clearly a very unique creation of theirs that only continues to evolve further the deeper he gets engrossed into the world of jujutsu. He's a living cursed object capable to absorb other cursed objects and use their CE for his benefit or possibly also some of their abilities. A little cannibalistic Kirby. Sukuna was what awakened his potential, but I highly doubt that's all they ever hoped for from him.

So beyond the family drama that Yuuji continues to try to ignore and suppress, there's also this connection between them. And I personally think it will be even worse for Yuuji when he realizes that he's not only Kenjaku's experiment like the Death Paintings, but they still see him as their son as well. There's a personal connection, but they still put him through all this trauma "for his own good". Don't see how Yuuta being angry that Kenjaku was mean to him can live up to that. Yes, he lost Gojo and some other friends, but so did Maki or Shoko, what makes him special? I don't expect Yuuji to face Kenjaku alone, just how I don't think he'll do that against Sukuna and Yuuta will probably help, but he's not central to the conflict playing out here or even the story as a whole.

[clotpolesonly]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @wellhalesbells!! ❤️

How many works do you have on ao3?

213

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,201,156

What fandoms do you write for?

the fics i have on my AO3 are overwhelmingly Teen Wolf (174) 😂 with Merlin as the distant second (32), and then 5 for TRC, 1 for Captive Prince, and 1 for Dark Rise. 1 of TW's is also a crossover with Supernatural, which is not something that i would ever write for independently lol. currently i'm not doing much writing at all because writing is HARD and i've been low on writer juice for a very long time now, but when i do, it's TRC/TDT. that's what i want to be writing and what all the stories living in my head are for.

Top five fics by kudos:

Metamorphose (Merthur, Merlin) - 8278 kudos

Happiness is Effortless (Sterek, TW) - 8113 kudos

Much Ado About You Two (Sterek, TW) - 7632 kudos

I'll Dissolve When The Rain Pours In... (Stackson, TW) - 6549 kudos

We Duel At Dawn (Merthur, Merlin) - 5140 kudos

Do you respond to comments?

i respond to almost every comment i get, though i've taken to letting them pile up a bit before i get up the energy to do so 😅 just yesterday i busted through my backlog of comments, which had gotten up to like 50+ lol, i had just been ignoring it for 3 months. but it's been a point of pride for me since i was like 13 and yelling into the void on FFN to respond to every comment and review on my stories, and i've stuck to it reasonably well over the years. the only ones i don't reply to are the ones that make me anxious adkfjgh ones that ask questions i don't know how to answer yet - primarily, "will you/when will you finish this?" on fics that i INTEND, IN THEORY, to finish someday but don't have hope of doing so any time soon. i don't want to tell them no when i really do mean to finish someday, but i don't want to claim that i will and then fail to actually follow through. so i just. leave those comments in my inbox to haunt me like a heart beating under my floorboards. so i've got 22 of those lmao.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably either 1) These Gordian Knots We Tie (Sterek), which is a sort of an open-ended tragic self-sabotage the-journey-isn't-over-this-is-just-the-low-point kind of thing. i'd originally intended to keep writing, but frankly, i like it as it is. i've gotten several comments complaining about it, which i soundly ignore. or 2) An Empty Glass Is An Ugly Mirror (Dydia), which is an AU fic of Lydia trying to get Derek to leave his abusive wife Kate, but it ends with Derek going back to her. the A/N is optimistic about him leaving eventually 😂 but the story itself leaves off on a very unhappy note.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

a LOT of my fics are just pure unremitting fluff adlkfjgh, there's no way to answer this question

Do you get hate on fics?

i don't, really, which i'm grateful for. i've gotten a handful of kinda shittyish comments over the years, disagreeing with my authorial choices or characterization or arguing about the choices characters made, but i don't THINK i've ever gotten anything that was really aggressive or outright hateful. which, proportionally, with how much i've written and how many comments i've gotten overall, i find rather astounding. maybe i'm not writing controversial enough stuff 😂 i need to step up my game.

Do you write smut?

i have on occasion, but not very much, lol. gotta run the numbers again....... 6% of my catalog is actually E rated and E+M makes up a little under 10% haha. i can write smut, it's just a lot of work, and i don't usually care enough to bother.

Craziest crossover:

the only true crossover i've written is my SuperWolf one, One For The Road, One For Me (Stiles/Dean Winchester), which i had a great time writing and of which i'm quite fond 😂😂😂 i've got a crossover that lives in my HEAD, though, of TRC and the Hunger Games, where the main TRC cast takes the place of all the main characters in the games but where Snow and Coin remain themselves because there's just no one in birdverse that can really fulfill those roles, and if that fic ever makes it to the page, then it's OVER for you bitches alkjfdhg

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i did have someone steal To Be A King (gen, Merlin) and post it on wattpad with some name changes, but like......not the right names?? like they changed some of the regular character names but not any of the names of the OCs that made the fic unique to me personally, it was really weird, anyway i had to make a WP account so i could message them to take it down and it immediately disappeared without them actually responding to me directly lol. if anything else has been reposted elsewhere, it hasn't been brought to my attention.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had 15 fics translated and linked back to me on ao3, which is super duper cool!!! 8 of them are by the same very dedicated russian fan ❤️

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

people have asked to co-author with me before and i always tell them the same thing: bad idea alkjdfhg 😅 i'm a very opinionated perfectionist control freak of a writer, i would be a TERRIBLE person to co-write with. i would either steamroll the hell out of my partner or end up stewing in quiet nagging resentment forevermore that noooooo it should've gone like THIS it's so WRONG it would be better if THISSSSS on everything from narrative structure to word choice 😂😂😂 if you've ever asked to co-write something with me, TRUST me, i turned you down for everybody's sake ...........that being said, me and my best friend cami do collaboratively generate stories together on a regular basis, a kind of Yes, And-ing spiral that can end up thousands and thousands of words long and include details down to verbatim dialogue and body language. but!! the loosey-goosey nature of those chats doesn't quite trigger the same possessive instinct that real actual prose that will be posted and have my name attached to it does. those stories are BANGERS btw, if i could beam them directly into your brain, i would do so 😂 i hesitate to try and write them, though, cuz then it would take them out of our hands and into mineminemine and we'd end up in ^^^ the above situation.

All time favorite ship?

illegal question, impossible to answer, i am too much of a multshipper

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

For Shell And Safety (love this fic DEARLY, an OC i'm actually proud of, stalled out 7 years ago in the middle of the climactic fight scene and just......couldn't find my way out of it)

REM-DAC (soooo proud of the worldbuilding in this fic, got so close to the end until i realized i couldn't finish it because what it really needed was a sequel and i couldn't set up for a sequel until i planned out the sequel, and i could never find anybody willing to read 45k of WIP to help me brainstorm the sequel, so it's just been languishing for 6 years)

Thinking About Blue Skies (a Laura/Allison fic i started writing for the very first LHAW 7 years ago and couldn't finish before posting time. i weep for this one. never had an ending in mind, couldn't figure one out, gave up)

In The Absence Of Scars (i hurried this one out for posting before it was finished specifically so that i could be one of the first 20 fics posted to AO3 for the Dark Rise fandom 😂😂😂 i succeeded!!! but i stalled out, and by now the second book has come out with more info that jossed some of my speculation, and there will undoubtedly be more in the 3rd, and i just, hmm, idk if i'm ever gonna end up writing any more of it. it never really had an endgame to it anyway, i guess)

Merlin Ambrosius, King of Carthis series (the fics already posted in the series are finished, but i promised a threequel 8 years ago and even started planning it out, but then i switched fandoms and never wrote it. rip to the epic Merthian lovestory featuring baby dragons and dragonrider!Raime that may or may not ever come to be, idk, maybe someday i'll circle back around to it)

What are your writing strengths?

i've been told that i have very strong dialogue, and that i capture characters' voices/language patterns well. i'm rather pleased with my ability to convey emotion implicitly through action, body language, and expression rather than having to state it outright. i think my descriptions are good and i'm getting better at balancing description and dialogue. i've got a few action sequences that readers really seemed to like, so i think i've more or less gotten the hang of those 😂

What are your writing weaknesses?

structuring longer narratives is a struggle. knowing when to back off and let tension unwind instead of continuing to winch it higher. i can get stubborn about what i WANT even though it's not working well lol. and in line with that, i'm not the best at taking criticism. not in the sense of getting upset about it, but in the sense of just ignoring it alkdjfgh. like, sometimes i'll ask for critique, get it, and be like mmmmm suddenly i can't read sorry i'm jared 19, and then leave everything exactly as i wrote it the first time 😅 to the detriment of my story. working on that, lmao.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

depends on what you're trying to achieve with it. i wouldn't usually bother with it, cuz it's obtuse and confusing for your reader if you leave it untranslated and if you do translate it then what was the point of writing it out in the other language in the first place instead of just indicating that [the thing it means] was said in [language]?

First fandom you wrote in?

Harry Potter, i think, with early forays also into Wizards of Waverly Place, iCarly, Newsies, and Little Mermaid II 😂😂😂 but by bulk, primarily HP

Favorite fic you've written?

how could you ask someone with 213 fics that question??? that's rude and uncalled for and also impossible to answer. i feel like i'm contractually obligated to say To Be A King, my magnum opus of a fic, longest thing i've ever written and also the single most satisfying ending i've ever managed. that's my default answer for this kind of question, but seriously, it's rUDE, I LIKE MANY OF MY FICS FOR MANY DIFFERENT REASONS!!!

.

tagginggggg @adamprrishcycle @flightspathfic @cheeeryos and as always, i KNOW i know more writers, but i can only ever think of so many at a time, consider yourself tagged if you wanna do it

[angstyandromanticwriting]

‘Louisiana Rose’ (an OC) X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute, and Fluffy Prompt

• Rose’s face-claim is Margot Robbie as Nellie Laroy

• Based/Inspired partly on Daisy Jones & The Six

!TW: Anxiety + Hints of separation anxiety + suffering from depression, mention of previously having a near-death experience + attempt to sacrifice one’s life for another, having to face homophobia, implied substance abuse (using alcohol), swearing, sexual references, hints of jealousy, self-harming - if I’ve missed any, let me know ❤️!

Once the wedding had gravely come around like a grandfather clock wearily ticking each passing minute until your death, you would make sure to distance yourself from the others, though you were afraid of hurting Rose by doing so, so you would make sure to leave her some of the pink roses she’d told you about, hoping it would be enough to try and reassure her that you were okay, but you were wrong.

The ceremony was painful, just as she’d imagined it would be; she had spent the whole duration of it worrying about you, and wondering where you were, and if you were okay, and it hurt enough already to remind herself of how she’d dreamt of marrying you, and not Joel, when you both were younger, and of how it was most likely never going to be an option, now. At times, she was glad for the veil, as it hid that she was trying not to cry whilst she thought about it, and about you, and the flowers you’d left her on the bedside table. She was more than tempted to say, at the end, ‘I can’t,’ but didn’t want to appear suspicious again, reminding herself of how you’d almost been killed, for her, just because the press had been suspecting you both to be in a same-sex relationship, something they disagreed with, at the time, so she would force herself to say ‘I do,’ trying not to let her voice shake whilst she did.

Having to kiss Joel only added to the pain; she felt as if she were betraying you, and couldn’t take it; her heart was longing for you to appear, and to provide comfort to her, but whenever she glanced over at those watching, you were never in sight, prompting her heart to sink, and ache excruciatingly each time. She would be glad for so many reasons, finally being able to leave, and sneak off when Rod gave her the signal to; she’d been panicking about your whereabouts earlier, and had decided to confide in him whilst she cried, and he offered to cover for her so she could go and look for you. As soon as she’d gotten back to the hotel, she would dump the dress, and hastily locate another outfit she could wear; she didn’t want to search for you, and finally find you only to upset you by turning up with the dress on, and nor did she want to look crazy running around for you in it. Once she’d finally located a simpler set of attire, she would rush out, and desperately as well as hastily begin her search for you.

🜚

You were sat at the bar with a few other women who’d decided to adopt you into their group, noticing you looked a little sad, and lonely, and would barely make any contribution to their conversation, even after you’d had a few too many drinks than you should have. “You should pick someone up,” one of them suggested, out of the blue, and you would falter, glancing up at her whilst your mind immediately raced to Rose, prompting your heart to sink a little at the thought of her in her wedding dress; the thought of you losing her to Joel - you couldn’t help, but also wonder if you’d already lost her, or were about to lose her; it was painful, and the drink wasn’t even doing anything to make you feel better; it wasn’t even numbing you - not even close. “Maybe it’d make you feel better-?” She assumed, and you would shake your head gravely, before staring down at your hands whilst tears threatened to run down your cheeks again.

“I can’t,” you uttered, and the woman - Alice, you thought you’d heard someone call her - would tilt her head partially, whilst the others looked on, appearing worried about you, and you couldn’t imagine why - maybe it was because of all those whiskeys you’d had, and the bundle of empty glasses standing before you.

“Why-?” Alice inquired, and you would hesitantly look over at her again, wondering what they’d all think of you if you told them about Rose; about you being a lesbian - would they think of you as a freak, like the press evidently do? “Wait,” she would lower her voice a little for an unknown reason, “are you married?”

You would falter, a pained expression on your face. “No,” you murmured, staring ahead of you again, “but-.. the only - the only person I could ever love is-.. is getting married, today.” You would then lift your new whiskey to your lips, whilst the others would exchange shocked, and sympathetic looks. “And now.. well.. I don’t know what to do anymore; the love of my life - s-someone I’ve known since I was a kid, s-she-..” You would wince, quickly silencing yourself before you could go any further.

“Wait, you’re-?” Alice would look around, not wanting to get herself or her friends in trouble. “You’re a lesbian?” She inquired, her voice close to a whisper, and you would nod, preparing yourself for insults, but they wouldn’t come. “Cool-! So are me, Claire and Alex!” She exclaimed excitedly, and you would express relief, whilst your eyes began to glint.

“Wait, really!?” You replied, and she would nod hastily.

“Duh - and better yet, we’re a couple,” Alex chirped, and you would appear elated; you didn’t often meet other lesbians like yourself, and Rose.

Claire would beam over at her girlfriend, before hooking her right arm around her waist secretly. “The best,” she added, and you would grin, amused, before tilting your head partially, and finding yourself thinking about Rose again whilst tears began to fill your eyes, and your heart would begin to ache.

Alice would frown when she noticed that you were trying not to cry, and wouldn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around you, surprising you. “Wanna know what I think you should do-?” Alice inquired, and you would appear nervous, before nodding your head slowly whilst she held you at arm’s length. “Dump her,” she advised, and you would falter again, a pained expression on your face; you could never do that to her; you loved her too much, to, “don’t look like that - Y/n, if she truly loved you, she wouldn’t be going through with this wedding; she’d be here with you, right now, I guarantee it.”

You would nod gravely, before staring down at your hands again; you hated it; hated the fact that you believed she was right. “I guess you’re right,” you gravely agreed, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and Alice would nod in agreement with you.

“I am,” she replied, “so - what are you gonna do about it?”

You would force a smile over at her, though you wanted nothing, but to break down and cry in Rose’s arms. “I swear - now that I’m probably g-gonna be a - free woman; I’m gonna fuck the next person that comes through that door; a woman, obviously, a-as long as she’s - well, y’know..”

Alice would grin, amused, whilst Alex and Claire cheered. “There she is-!” Alice chimed, and you would force a giggle, before returning your attention to your whiskey, and trying not to break down in front of them; you couldn’t believe what you were doing, and cursed yourself for it, whilst you hoped Rose would give up on you, and finally find someone better than you.

“A right hottie at Ten O’clock, look-!” Alex whisper-shouted, and you would look toward the door, faltering when you noticed her. It was Rose; she’d found you, and you couldn’t help, but stare over at her, finding yourself forgetting how to breathe for a moment, and Alice would smirk, amused by your reaction.

“Look, girls, I think she’s already in love with her,” Alice remarked, and you would frown, nodding faintly; you’d been in love with her ever since you’d first met her. “Go talk to her, what are you waiting for?” She encouraged, whilst you found you couldn’t pry your gaze from her, your eyes beginning to glisten again.

“Wait - isn’t she - she’s that singer-!” Claire mused, whilst you turned away, hoping Rose wouldn’t notice you, no matter how much it pained you to think something like that, after everything you’d both been through together.

“Louisiana Rose,” you uttered, “she’s-.. she’s married, forget about it.”

“Married? Since when?” Claire questioned, and you would grimace, before knocking back the rest of your whiskey.

“Since today,” you answered dejectedly, and Claire would appear surprised, a thoughtful expression on her face, and Alice curiously watched Rose whilst she appeared to be anxiously looking around for you, unbeknownst to them.

“That’s funny, didn’t you say your girlfriend was getting married today-?” She mused, and you would nod gravely whilst you fidgeted with your hands. “What a small world,” she remarked, whilst Alex would appear suspicious of you, wondering why you’d turned away, and were keeping your head low whilst Rose desperately searched for you. “I’ve gotta get an autograph,” Claire remarked, and you would nervously watch whilst Claire walked up to her, and you would frown when you noticed the pained expression on Rose’s face; she’d evidently been searching, for a little while, and your heart couldn’t help, but sink.

“Y/n - is she-?” Alice prompted, but you wouldn’t respond, finding yourself unable to, without breaking down, and you couldn’t let yourself cry in front of them, especially not Rose; you were terrified of upsetting her any more than you evidently already had, earlier today, by disappearing. Rose would try and force a smile over at Claire, before writing her signature on the record Claire had recently bought, and you would wonder - whilst you watched them - what Rose was asking her, as she seemed to be trying to ask Claire something discreetly, worried about what others might think, if she asked them. “Now I see why she got married like that,” Alice expressed, and you would falter, looking over at her, before you nodded gravely, and bowed your head again; she’d done it because she had been afraid of what might happen to you, if she didn’t, and also worried over what might happen to the band, and her reputation if she cancelled the wedding.

Claire would then lead Rose toward the group, and you would try not to panic, acting as if you’d not noticed her, yet, and had just been staring down at your empty glasses. “Y/n!” Claire chimed in a sing-song voice, and you would hesitantly turn around, though you were worried about how Rose might react to seeing you in the state that you currently were in, with all the empty glasses behind you. “You have a visitor!” She continued, and you would falter, glancing up at Rose, and she would express relief when she recognised that it was you.

“Y/n-!” Rose managed, her voice briefly trembling, before she threw her arms around you, and you would instantly melt into her embrace, before returning the hug, and burying your face into her left shoulder. You soon found you couldn’t hold it back anymore as you began to cry quietly into her shoulder, and she would frown, hearing you sniffling, prompting her heart to begin aching excruciatingly; she hated that she’d upset you like that, and wished she’d never gone through with the wedding like she had, and instead tried to fight to marry you, no matter what it meant for you both. “Hey,” she cooed, holding you at arm’s length, before she connected her forehead to your’s affectionately, “d-don’t cry, it’s okay; I’m here now, a-and - it’s over; we’ll never have to think about it again, I promise, n-never again - w-we can just-.. focus on us, now - isn’t that great?”

“You married him,” you mused, and she would fall quiet, a pained expression on her face, whilst your heart began to ache again, alongside her’s; neither of you could believe that this was happening; that - after all the nights you’d both found one another talking about your future together - it seemed like an important part of that plan would never be able to be carried out, now, with or without the press.

“We should, er - go,” Alice began, and the others would hesitantly agree, “but we’ll call you and check on you later.” You would nod, forcing a smile over at them, before you glanced back up at Rose once they’d gone, trying to fight back your remaining tears.

“I - I’m sorry, Y/n, I really am; I love you so much,” Rose expressed shakily, finding herself trying not to cry, “I-.. I just - I didn’t know what to do, a-and I hated every moment of it, I swear-”

“It’s okay,” you cooed, trying to reassure her; you didn’t want her to feel as if she should apologise for what had happened; for the press’ disapproval of you both being together, “don’t-.. don’t worry about it; you don’t have to explain yourself, Rose - I understand.” You would then shyly hold her right hand in your left one, before smiling lovingly over at her, prompting her heart to skip a beat, and your’s to race as soon as she’d smiled warmly back at you. “C-Come,” you requested, and she would nod, following you outside, where you would shyly look around, before leaning forward to delicately connect your lips to her’s, and she would instantly melt into the kiss whilst wrapping her arms around your waist, and you would cling to her shoulders whilst you both wore a dazed expression on your faces once the kiss had sadly ended. “I love you, too,” you returned, lifting your right hand up to her left cheek, and she would subconsciously lean into your touch whilst her eyes blissfully locked with your’s, “and I always will, n-no matter what, I promise; n-no matter what you decide-”

Rose would lean forward to kiss you passionately again, silencing you. “The only thing I’ll ever decide is - is to be with you,” she expressed, “only you, always - that’s how it’s been since the beginning, and that’s never gonna change, I promise - never - I love you, Y/n.” You couldn’t hold it back anymore, kissing her again, and you would then hold her hand, and rush back to the hotel with her whilst you both giggled together, glad to have resolved things again like you evidently had; nothing could ever truly separate you both - not even the wedding that had occurred a few hours ago, now, and you both hoped more than anything that it would stay that way.

🜸🜚🜸

However, after you’d both had yet another argument after a stressful concert not too long after that day had occurred, Rose was trying to make you jealous by hanging out with Joel more, and it wouldn’t take long for it to work, making your heart sink whenever you saw them both together, and whenever you tried to talk to her, she would call Joel over, and ignore you, making you feel even worse. You would falter, before nodding gravely, guessing she just didn’t love you anymore, and the thought would prompt your heart to ache excruciatingly, as if it were truly breaking within you. “Fine,” you uttered, and Rose would hesitantly glance over at you, “I’ll-.. I’ll go, s-seeing as you clearly don’t want me around anymore - m-maybe go and hang out with my friends-”

“Fine,” she hissed, whilst trying not to feel guilty for what she was doing, as she felt responsible for the fight, and it was silently tearing her up inside, “go! I don’t care.”

“Good,” you spat back, your voice briefly trembling, before you stormed out whilst tears threatened to escape your eyes, though you longed to stay with her; stick to her side, as you only felt safe, and happy when she was with you, when without her you only felt empty, and numb, as if you had nothing left within you, and it was painful, and though you did briefly consider taking your life, you would instead resort to leaving small cuts along your arms, feeling as if you deserved them for what had happened between you both, not too long ago, now; as if it were your fault, entirely; you loved her too much to blame her for anything, and would never be able to forgive yourself, if you did.

🜚

After she’d heard from Suki that you were currently at the bar with Alice, she would try not to panic, hastily fleeing from the hotel to search for you, afraid that she’d end up losing you for the way she’d treated you, earlier - something she hated herself for, and wished she could stop herself from doing if only there were such thing as time travel. She longed to go back to that moment, and instead of push you away, she longed to hold you close to her, and pour her heart out to you again whilst she cried quietly into your right shoulder, hoping you could forgive her for the fight you’d both ended up having, not too long ago, now.

As soon as she’d finally made it to the bar, she got a bad feeling, and would make to rush inside, but before she could, you would stagger out, surprising her as you fell against her, and she would quickly try and stabilise you, wrapping her arms around your waist whilst you tried to get over the shock of what had just happened, subconsciously clinging to her shoulders whilst you trembled a little within her embrace. “It’s always you who catches me when I fall,” you mustered, your voice feeble, and close to a whisper, as if you feared that you were about to break down, and she frowned, guessing that you’d been crying, before she’d arrived, prompting her heart to sink, and ache more excruciatingly than before; she couldn’t believe she’d hurt you like this, again, so soon after the wedding had already seemed to dig deeply into you.

“Alice,” Rose uttered, a pained expression on her face when she remembered, and you would falter, a hurt look on her face whilst she held you at arm’s length, “where is she?”

“I - I see.. You came for Alice,” you murmured dejectedly, whilst you subconsciously stared down at the ground, feeling empty and numb again whilst pain radiated throughout your body, and Rose would frown, shaking her head gravely.

“Y/n-”

“She’s-.. She’s inside,” you continued, “I’ll go back, if you want me to-”

“I didn’t come here, for her,” she interjected hastily, before you could begin to walk away from her, and you would falter, hesitantly turning to face her again, “I came here for you, b-because I thought-..” She would sigh, evidently worried again. “Look, Suki told me she was here with you, and I panicked,” she admitted, and you would realise, disappointed; you’d evidently thought that maybe she trusted you more than that; more than to assume you could ever cheat on her, and hurt her like that.

“Did you seriously think I cheated on you? That I could do something like that, to you?” You questioned, whilst tears threatened to spill from your eyes again, and Rose wouldn’t know what to say, bowing her head whilst her heart throbbed painfully alongside your’s. “What, so you don’t even trust me anymore, now?” You continued, and Rose would grimace - of course she still trusted you; she’d just been worried about you, and about what might happen, if she didn’t go out and find you. “Rose-”

“You’re supposed to be mine, Y/n-!” Rose cried shakily, and you would falter, a pained expression on your face whilst a stray tear managed to escape, and run slowly down your cheek, whilst Rose was trying to fight back her own for as long as she possibly could; she didn’t want to upset you any further than she already had by crying in front of you, knowing that it worried you, like she was worried about you, noticing the tear that had now dropped down onto the ground. “If you did something with Alice-”

“I didn’t do anything with her!” You contradicted, and Rose would fall quiet, for a moment, whilst relief flooded over her. “I love you, Rose,” you expressed, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and she would bow her head again, feeling guilty for assuming that maybe you and Alice had been seeing one another behind her back; something you’d never do to her; something you couldn’t do to her; you couldn’t even ever imagine yourself with someone else, as whenever you pictured what your future would be like, it was with Rose - every time, and you loved it; revelled in it, always wondering what you’d done to deserve someone as perfect as her, compared to a supposed nobody like you, “I - I mean - how do you think I felt, seeing you with Joel, earlier?”

Rose would frown, recalling the crestfallen looks on your face whenever she’d found her gaze drifting over to you, after the fight had occurred, and she’d been sticking to Joel’s side, more, and the images in her mind would prompt her heart to sink even further, somehow, and to ache even more painfully than it had been, before. “Y-Y/n, I-.. I’m so sorry,” she replied, wishing she’d never reacted like that, before, “w-what I was doing didn’t mean anything, I swear; I hated every second of it, b-being with him; I love you so much, m-more than anything, a-and I swear I’ll never do it again; never fight with you again, like that - I can’t even remember how that stupid fight started, anyway, it was just-..” A strained sob would then manage to escape her lips, before she timidly inched closer to you, and would throw her arms around you, wishing she’d never let any of it happen. You would instantly melt into the embrace, before returning it, and burying your face blissfully into her left shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she repeated weakly, and you would shake your head, before shyly glancing up at her, and smiling lovingly, prompting her heart to skip a beat, and her eyes to glint a little whilst her heart began to race alongside your’s in the best way possible.

“Don’t apologise,” you cooed, before affectionately connecting your forehead after you’d anxiously looked around to check if anyone were nearby; you didn’t want to set her on edge, but she found she couldn’t care what the press might say if they caught you both together like you were, now, after what had happened, “it’s - it’s my fault; I started it, b-by-.. by bringing up the ring, I’m sorry-”

“No,” she interjected gently, a hurt look on her face, before she lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, and you would instantly melt into her touch subconsciously, “it’s not your fault, either; it’s the press’ for doing this to us; t-the stupid government who think we don’t deserve the right to freely be together; n-neither of us are in the wrong, here, so-” She would then smirk over at you, getting an idea, and you would appear curious as to what she was currently thinking. “Don’t make me take you home, and punish you when you’ve done nothing wrong,” she remarked, and you would appear flustered, at first, before timidly closing the gap between you both, prompting her to tense up a little whilst she glanced down at your lips, for a moment, wishing she could kiss you, but it wasn’t long before her fear of being seen, and you being wounded for her would return, and plague her.

“What if I want you to do just that?” You inquired, and she would grin, lifting an eyebrow, whilst she thanked the lack of light around you both, hiding the fact that she had begun to blush a little alongside you.

“Then I will, a-and not just because I owe you, but because I - I, well-..” She mused, her voice faltering a little, and you would beam victoriously up at her, amused by her reaction; you revelled in the fact that you could fluster her like you evidently had. “Don’t give me that look,” she whined, and you would smirk in response, “you haven’t won yet - C’mon, Bassey.” She would then rush you back to the hotel, before anyone - including Alice - could find you both again, though Alice, too, was a lesbian; Rose was just afraid of possibly losing you again, somehow, and was desperate to avoid the possibility of doing so like you, too, were, knowing how much it would hurt, and most likely tear you both apart to find yourselves separated from one another, again.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

[urgirlninicks]

♒♓AQUARIUS X PISCES IN A RELATIONSHIP ♀️🌙

Hiii, this is my first astrology post so I hope I'm not saying too much shit 🥴 if I just sound insane and you disagree with something pleasee tell me, I'd love to discuss about it lol.

I wrote this enormous text about: the dynamics of pisces and aquarius in a relationship - because I am an aquarius rising and currently having a mild crush on a girl with a pisces rising. So I was making our synastry and thought it'd be cool to share some of my thoughts on this combo. K let's just get straight into it;

Pisces x aquarius in a relationship ♒🫂♓

🫧1. I guess they would work very well together, they're both very empathetic signs that thinks a lot about others and truly cares for them.

🫧2. It would be interesting to see what they could do together, artistically speaking. Because it's a combination of art and uniqueness (don't know why but it reminded me of melanie martinez. I feel like she is the definition of unique art lolll).

🫧3. Since pisces is mutable and aquarius is fixed, they would balance and complete each other very well. They would have a lot to learn with each other, pisces would learn how to have more confidence on themselves and aquarius would learn how to be more emotionally flexible.

🫧4. Since aquarius is an air sign and very social, pisces would be put out of their comfort zone (which is being very introverted and having a tendency to isolate themselves) and have more social interactions when going out with aquarius. And aquarius would benefit a lot from the quiet time that pisces would rather have, it would help aquarius strengthen their individuality and focus on themselves, which is something they very much need since they're a very individualistic sign as well.

🫧5. I feel like they are the perfect duo to run an organization that helps people or animals in need. Aquarius's altruism and collective oriented mind combined with pisces's empathy, pure heart and unconditional love??? Come on, they would have just what it takes to make it work, at least in theory lolll.

🫧6. Since aquarius is ruled by uranus, it makes them a very revolutionary sign. And revolution sometimes comes with a little violence, in order to make a difference you gotta be a little extreme (not that I think like this, this is just "uranus's logic". Though I am an aquarius rising😌). To pisces this sounds terrible, they are extremely sensitive to any kind of suffering, which sometimes makes them prioritize other people's needs in detriment of their own. Which makes me come to the conclusion that they would have a very dynamic and mutually beneficial relationship since pisces could learn how to be a little more selfish and "extreme", aka setting boundaries. It feels like the major lesson they could master together is: how to have compassion for others while also having compassion for themselves.

That's it for today, hope you guys could understand what I meant (God this is such an aquarius thing to say) and enjoy my post🤗 'cause I know I loooove reading astro notes while listening to music when I'm bored. If you have any thoughts on anything pleaseee let me know, I would truly enjoy talking about it. Until next time🧠❤️😌

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

Andrew Garfield is my favorite person in the world and i sent the prompt based on the bts video of tick tick boom...I have to talk about it a little more if you dont mind! In the movie she doesn't sit on his lap so i think they wers just acting goofy bts and when he had his hand on her stomach and they were laughing, it just looked like maybe, whether he meant to or not, was tickling her! He may not have been but it gives off that vibe! It made me grin like an idiot and i probably turned pink bc i have never seen him tickle someone before....He has had a couple scenes where he gets tickled in Tammy Faye and their was a movie he was in called Mainstream where Maya Hawke tickled him in a very very quick sequence that you had to put in slow motion to even see! Sorry for the long rant, i had to tell someone about it hope you liked the prompt!

You don't have to apologize Anon, this is a really precious idea ❤️ At the moment, your fic is saved but unsure of when it will be done ❤️ However, your idea was too precious not to share now ❤️ Plus, I have a theory Id love to hear your thoughts on too :)

The theory: Andrew Garfield is a Switch . . .

We have the tickle scenes with him in Tammy Faye that are absolutely adorable, plus a couple others from the movie Mainstream that you mentioned. He's very big on physical affection too (if him kissing Ryan Reynolds says anything about him). He also seems to love giving physical affection and being goofy with those he's close with, and wich could make for an argument that he could be a Lee. However, it's not just receving tickles that seems to bring him joy, but also giving them as well. We have a scene where it looked like he tickled Vanessa Hudgens and there's a blooper version of the back cracking scene from No Way Home where Andrew hugs Tobey from behind and Tobey turtles and giggles. Andrew's hands are slightly out of frame, but it I swear it genuinenely looks like he's tickling Tobey!

His moves are subtle and usually very quick. He doesn't have the same older brother tickle vibe like Oscar Isaac, but they do seem to happen quite frequently in his bts stuff. For now, this is where my idea is.

These conversations are always exciting to see and discuss Anon. If you ever want to do so again, you are more than welcome to ❤️ Does any one else have thoughts or theories they'd feel comfortable sharing too? Do you agree/disagree with the idea? Let me know please ❤️ Have a great day!

[in-my-feels-probably]

Hi!! It's me again, I hope you're keeping well <33. Many congrats on 600 followers!! Could I please get the option 2 for hotd? I'm a straight female and my pronouns are she/her.

I'm fairly introverted and it takes me a while to warm up to people. I love reading, my room is filled with stacks of books. I especially enjoy true crime, poetry and Russian literature!I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, pulling harmless pranks, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything. I love helping out and people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'd consider myself really smart and I'm very ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do. I daydream a lot and I'm a hopeless romantic! I enjoy all forms of art and storytelling, and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I'm 5'9 and I have long and curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I dress mostly in relaxed suits, blazers and coats and I love the occasional dress or sweaters layered over a white button down!

Thank you very much!! I hope you have a lovely day ❤️

hi! thank you for participating :)

i ship you with jacaerys!

while it’s his responsibility to get good at talking to people since he’s going to be the heir, id consider him a rather introverted person. i think he struggles with making connections deeper than surface level. so when he meets you and starts getting to know you, he’d understand why you’re a little apprehensive at first and give you the time to get closer to him yourself. but he’d do his best to make you very comfortable around him too. i think he’d be really attracted to you when he first met you. you look like a person who has their shit together, and he was hoping that it would rub off on him. he’d really love getting to know you because he’d realize how ambitious and witty you are, you’d be a genuinely interesting and likeminded person to be around, someone both him and his mother would approve of. i think he’d really appreciate that you enjoy spending quality time with him, as well as letting him rant about his worries or struggles of the day. i think he feels like he needs to be strong all the time, because that it was a king does, but you’d be there to remind him that he is just a child still, and that he’s allowed to struggle.

i think he’d find comfort in joining in on your hobbies, just so he could spend time with you. i think his love language is quality time. he doesn’t care what you’re doing together, as long as you’re together. he’d sit with you while you read, or ask you to read to him. he’d listen to you rant about the book after you finished it, and argue with you over the plot points and your opinions. half the time, he wouldn’t even disagree with you, he just liked watching you get so passionate and into it. plus, he loves to debate, and he could do that with you. he knows you’d actually value what he has to say, and not dismiss it.

i think jace is also a hopeless romantic. there’s something about love, and the process of courting and falling in love, that he really enjoys and values. he’d bring you new books he thought you would enjoy (or books he knew you’d hate, just so he could listen to you rant about it.) you’d find them on your bed, knowing you’d have to thank him later for it.

he’d find you before dinner, somewhere quiet. “am i to assume you found your gift? have you already started it?”

you’d look up at him, showing him the cover. “i’ve already read this one. i left your gift in my chambers, i didn’t want to start it without thanking you first.”

“no need to thank me, love. you’ll like this one, i promise. i read it myself to make sure.”

you’d smile at his thoughtfulness, standing up and taking his arm. “shall we walk before dinner then? i haven’t seen you much today, i want to catch up.”

jace would fight a blush, keeping your arm secure next to him. he’d wonder how he got so lucky, nodding at your words.

“of course. where to?”

[evax3]

I went to read Waking Dragons bc I was trusting your rec but the author flat out said this about Dany in the comments of ch11: "UnofficialLurker on Chapter 11Wed 14 Sep 2022 12:06PM UTCI'm sorry you feel that way.I disagree with her being strong in GoT. She was broken and she was mad. It's just hard to notice because we see things from her perspective." I'm SO disappointed with them :(

Oh, damn, that sucks.

Just checked the comments on Ch. 11 (haven't read any of them before) and apparently there was a huge discussion about their decision to make Jon king in this instead of Dany (didn't like that twist but I didn't put much thought into it either because let's face it, Westeros is pretty biased in that matter...). I think sometimes it can be okay to go this way in fics. In canon, as much as Dany wants the Throne, she also wants a family, a home and the betterment of the world that her father played a big part in ruining. She gets that here, which I liked (jonerys was pretty adorable tbf)!

And I didn't read her as weak in this story only because she didn't get the chance to rule as queen. She was sweet and kind, which are actually canon qualities that came up far too short in the show (and only got more space than the showrunners wanted thanks to Emilia). That's why I was okay with her portrayal in the fic (and it's Daemon's Pov so who knows what's going on inside her head), but the author's comment is crap.

For me, Dany's one of the strongest female figures ever portrayed in television history. Yes, maybe broken, at some points. Who blames her after all she has been through? But Jon was broken too and isn't that what makes them so strong? That they have to suffer so much and still manage to find their inner strength and get up again? In my eyes Daenerys is an icon and anything but mad, that's where I draw the line.

"I agree with practically nothing from season 8. D&D fucked pretty much every character over, Dany included..." (another quote from the author, at least here we agree).

Now I have another rec for you, which I hope you like better (I haven't read it myself but I trust this author very much. They're a lovely person and write wonderful jonerys stories. Strong and passionate and headstrong. The Night We Met is one of my absolute faves atm):

A Little Help From Your Family by fir3andbl00d

It only has two chapters out yet but they said in the ANs that there will be Daemon and Rhaenyra's PoVs too. I'm very excited to read it tonight and hopefully you enjoy reading it too and that it makes up for the disappointment of 'Waking Dragons'.

Have a good day, anon!! ❤️

[lizpaige]

❤️ or 💘 for Pynch please?

ooh, thanks for the ask, anon! I'm gunna do a lil from both of these for a lil college AU - also this turned into way more than a drabble sorry hehe ❤️ first kiss / realization 💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss Send me a Heart Prompt!

Ronan tried not to laugh at seeing how uncomfortable Adam looked, backed into a corner, being chatted up by Tad Carruthers of all people. Tad couldn’t take a hint and after a full year of college being politely let down by Adam countless times, the poor bastard continued to try. He was harmless, just lacking social cues, and could trap you in a conversation for hours. He never actually asked Adam out, but his intentions were clear and his crush only developed further the more they saw one another.

They were in the kitchen of the rowing team’s annual house party, Ronan was just grabbing a soda from the fridge. He lost Gansey about an hour ago and so he was doing his own hiding from Kavinsky, who also couldn’t take a hint, although he had gotten further than Tad with Adam. They had a brief friendly with benefits situation last semester, which ended in Ronan nearly flunking out of college and going to rehab over the summer. Things were less friendly now.

He lingered in the kitchen, trying to assess the situation, to see if Adam needed assistance. Sure enough, Adam caught his eye over Ronan’s shoulder and his expression went from desperate to devious. Ronan watched him smirk, eyes focused on his mouth as he said something to Tad, who turned around and looked at Ronan, confused. Adam continued talking and Ronan felt frozen, pinned by his gaze. 

“Yo, Lynch!” 

Ronan blinked and approached them, Tad waving him over and Adam’s smirk fell away. “What’s up?”

“Parrish,” ooh so it’s Parrish now. Ronan wondered what Adam had said to him to veto their first-name status. “-was just telling me you guys are dating.”

Record scratch. Blink. Back up. Ronan glanced at Adam, hoping to convey the look of What the fuck, Parrish with his eyes. He assumed this was Adam’s latest and desperate attempt to get Tad off his back, so he’d play along, but they were definitely going to talk about this later.

“Uh, sure,” well, shit that was less convincing.

Tad smiled knowingly, obviously not convinced. “How long?”

Ronan looked at Adam, Adam looked at Ronan. They both said at the same time:

“Few months.”

“Few weeks.”

They looked back at Tad with wary smiles. Ronan’s heart plummeted at seeing Kavinsky enter the kitchen. Fuck. 

“There you are, you bastard,” K bellowed, approaching the three of them and wrapping an arm around Ronan’s shoulders, stumbling a bit with his beer. “How’s it going, Carruthers?” 

Tad’s smile widened. “Good, K. Did you know,” Ronan shrugged K’s arm from his shoulder, “Lynch and Parrish are a thing?”

Kavinsky laughed, elbowing Ronan, waiting for the punchline. When it didn’t come, he sobered quickly. “What?” 

Ronan could see the appeal of this story now. 

“Apparently for a few weeks,” Tad said. “Or months? They disagree.” 

“The fuck?” K said with a disbelieving laugh. “Damn, who’s gonna tell Dick? He must be beside himself.”

Ronan grabbed Adam’s hand and laced their fingers together. “C’mon,” he started to walk away, tugging him along. Being around K was dangerous, he was adept at baiting Ronan, constantly getting him in trouble. He needed to get out of here.

“Hold on a minute,” K said, stepping in front of him.

“What.”

“Prove it.” 

Now it was Adam’s turn to laugh. “What?” 

“I don’t fucking believe you,” K said to Adam, flicking Ronan on the temple. “This idiot has more chemistry with Dick Three. I’ve never seen you guys do anything but argue. Now you want me to believe you’re dating? Prove it.”

Ronan rolled his eyes. “We don’t have to prove anything to you, what are we in middle school?”

“Just a little kiss,” K cooed, so close to Ronan he felt like his eyes were going to cross. “A little kiss and we’ll leave you alone.”

“Or I could fucking punch you in the face and then you’ll leave us alone.”

“Ronan,” Adam tugged at his hand. “It’s fine.” 

Before Ronan really had a chance to process, Adam stepped forward and pressed his lips to Ronan’s. It was clumsy and at the wrong angle, and more like a quick peck you’d give a distant relative than a paramour. They both stepped back abruptly, blinking stupidly at each other. They were still holding hands. Ronan’s heart raced.

Time seemed to slow as he continued to stare at Adam. All of his interactions with Adam seemed to slot into place, realign and refocus with a new lens. When Adam’s roommate would kick him out and he would sleep in Ronan’s and Gansey’s room, but in Ronan’s bed. When Ronan would bring him hot chocolates and teas from the student bistro on his late night library shifts. On school holidays he would opt to stay with Ronan rather than Gansey, spending weeks running around the Barns laughing, falling asleep under the stars on the roof of the house.

He looked at Adam and Adam was looking at him. As they had been for months. 

It was probably the worst kiss of his life, but there was something there. Something… he wanted to try again.

“That was beautiful,” K said sarcastically, wiping a tear from his eye. Tad was laughing along with him. “Beautiful, beautiful, bullshit.”

Ronan stepped forward and cupped Adam’s cheek, tilted his head back and crashed their lips together. The angle was better, the enthusiasm was a bit much. He pushed Adam back against the counter and bit his lower lip. Adam gasped, one hand cupping the back of his head, keeping him close, the other hand tugging at his jacket, pulling him in. The loud music of the party, the chatter between K and Tad, the voices in the hall, everything faded away to a dull hum, all Ronan could focus on was Adam, Adam, Adam.

[autumntouched]

Since yesterday, after I read your post about interaction/engagement, I‘ve been trying to figure out how to reach out to you… been trying to find the „right“ words, even if I know that that is impossible. I‘ll try anyway…

I completely get how you feel.

I‘ve been very insecure about my own writing since I started posting chapters of 5 years back in september and didn‘t get many interactions. A few likes here and there, some lovely comments (that I cherish very much!) but not more. I started second guessing my skills, started regretting the decision to publish the story in the first place, etc. It basically ended in a downward spiral where I considered taking it down and wished for the ground to swallow me whole because I thought I was so bad that people don‘t even want something to do with me. Sometimes, that wish still sneaks up on me. But then I get the loveliest comment from one of my regular readers and I think: Hey, that person still reads the story, that person still waits for an update, etc. and I get a new spark of motivation that keeps me going. I know it‘s hard and it‘ll keep being a challenge to find joy and motivation in the interactions of the regular readers, but I guess we‘ll just have to learn to do exactly that. Maybe it helps to know that you‘re not alone in facing that challenge. I‘m right at your side🥰.

On the other hand, I understand the POV of the people with social anxiety. I‘m suffering from that too (first and foremost when I‘m face to face with someone) and it‘s awful. Regarding the internet, I started overcoming it by joining the TGM fandom here on Tumblr. Before summer 2022, I would have never dared to comment on a story, let alone reblog it. I thought I‘d be too invasive, I‘d annoy the creator etc. But one day, I decided to shoot blind and wrote a message to @bradshawsbaby . I swear, I‘m not kidding when I say that my heart threatened to beat out of my chest😅. I was so afraid that she would cringe about that message, but boy, was I wrong! She wrote such a cute and sweet reply that almost made me bawl my eyes out🥹. And from then on, I kind of „realized“ that there are real humans behind all these amazing accounts, yours included, that can feel my love for them and their creations that I try to express in my messages/comments. But it takes a lot of courage and the will to step out of your comfort zone and I get that some people maybe aren‘t ready or just not willing to do that. Of course, that doesn‘t make it easier for creators, but no one can be forced to do something they don’t want to do.

I dare to claim that it‘s safe to say that it‘s a frustrating matter for both sides. The creators who wish for feedback to improve their writing skills to make their readers happy and the readers who feel pressured to do something they‘re not comfortable with. I‘m not sure if we‘ll ever be able to work it out so it works for both sides, but perhaps every side can define their boundaries more clearly so that everyone knows where they stand…

Anyway, I hope this message isn‘t embarassing🫣😬. I just tried to express how I see things regarding this topic, but I‘m just a 19-year-old girl who has no knowledge of anything😅🤷🏻‍♀️. Please, let me know if I embarassed myself with this.

Many hugs and so much love to you💗!

BB 😭❤️ you said this so much better than I could and wow I so appreciate the time and thought you put into this 🥹 thank youuuu

These messages are bringing me so much clarity, and wow like even if I disagree with some things people have shared I still appreciate everyone taking the time to write out such long and detailed responses because it sounds like there are definitely things I could be doing as a writer to make this space more accessible for people in a way that works for everyone, I have a much better understanding of the issue from both sides, and I’m just genuinely grateful this could be a conversation

To your first part, it is so scary as writers to put ourselves out there and whether we want to or not, we can get in our head about things 😭

And in general, I manage my expectations around interactions. I know and respect that everything I write is not going to be for everyone nor is everyone going to want to interact. But I am here to engage and get to know people so quality (in whatever way works) is important to me. And at this point, I really am just here answering Hannix asks 😂 😅

And primarily with writing that responds to asks, I do have anxiety here and I’m not going to minimize that part even while I am learning that it is something I need to work on. I grew up in a home where people were emotionally unpredictable and withheld affection and emotional validation in order to control my behavior. When I am giving someone something that was asked for, that is emotionally vulnerable (writing in general), and it feels like there’s little to no response I go into full blown panic that I’ve done something wrong or made them unhappy with me. I actually seize up because what I learned as a child is that I could be emotionally and physically punished if I don’t recalibrate. I start triple guessing and overanalyzing and that’s not really a place to write from. I could close my asks, say no more Hannix Football Rivalry. But it does *seem* like that makes people happy, that it’s something they love and I love giving people that. But it was taking a toll on me and I wanted to see if there is a solution instead of automatically shutting down

This is not a call for everyone to comment or reblog or dm or trigger their own anxiety to engage. But if someone was not understanding what was happening on my end and is like oh yes, happy to do that so we can all continue to enjoy this universe (or explore other ones!) then that is so so appreciated

Because no, I don’t want to be on here triggering other people’s anxiety 😭 And maybe it’s those people responding because there’s a shared understanding of what that experience is like, how out of control it can get even when you present yourself with logic or try to reason your way out of it

I think while there is frustration, there is also the shared experience of wanting to be recognized for our whole person even when we’re operating as writer and reader and I think Tumblr does give us a chance to recognize ourselves on a deeper level than we may in other interactions. So I do want to take care with that for everyone

No one should be forced to do something they’re uncomfortable with and you are spot on with defining boundaries!! This is not engage or get out or I’ll hold my work hostage. It’s more like, I’m struggling and asking for help if someone can give it because I want to keep giving you something you love and makes you happy. It didn’t seem fair to set boundaries without understanding where everyone is coming from

[moonlightdancer26]

Heya, I'm this anon -> https://moonlightdancer26.tumblr.com/post/697464103339524096/im-a-trans-man-myself-ive-heard-some-of-the

Don't let any lost followers get to you. That follower you mentioned may have completely different reasons for unfollowing than you might think.

For many of us, fandom is an escape from a shitty reality, and it's understandable if a trans person doesn't want to see reminders of transphobia, including posts that defend trans people.

I unfollow fandom blogs who start posting about certain social issues not because I disagree, but because it's simply too taxing to constantly be reminded of all the bad in the world.

They also simply could have misclicked unfollow by accident!

Now, here's a hug (づ ´• ω •`)づ

Hi again!

Losing followers isn’t that big a surprise to me, this isn’t the first time something similar’s happened. But I got upset because it was that one specific person—who’s not only trans but also whose blog I really enjoy.

I agree with what you’ve said: People definitely don’t like seeing constant reminders of things they’re hated/oppressed for, I certainly don’t. But I think I should’ve clarified more in the tags; they defended her. They were understanding about it and of course I don’t have any problem with that, but the issue I have is… they’re able to empathise with her and forgive her, but the fact that they also unfollowed me after this implies I’ve done something wrong. So the issue I have is, if you can empathise with what she did, then why can you not understand why I reacted the way I did? I know I sound like a fucking child right now but this has been bothering me too much (there’ve been other instances like this) to stay quiet. This has happened many times before, when anything’s happened with another tumblr blog and I genuinely am in need of support, 99% of them turn their backs on me. 🤷‍♀️

How do people want me to go about the situation? “You know what, Ladykardasi? You’re right, I’m SO sorry for trying to defend trans people! I totally shouldn’t have informed you that it was offensive to imply trans men aren’t “genuine” men! 🥰 and I should TOTALLY forgive you for calling me a bitch and trying to silence me after you supposedly did nothing wrong! ☺️” Is this what people want me to say? I’m not trans nor am I a male, and even I found that hurtful. If people can forgive her, then why not me? I’m not forcing anyone to continue following me—nor am I refusing to unfollow someone after they asked, unlike a certain someone :)—or even like me, but please just understand where I’m coming from.

That being said, I’m not even angry at the person who unfollowed me, nor do I resent them; I’m just upset and very confused.

I honestly don’t want to know why they unfollowed me—because of my attempted defence of trans folks, or because of my blog as a whole. I don’t think either answer will make me feel any better.

+ Misclicking the unfollow button at this time seems a bit too much of a coincidence, but I really hope you’re right. 😭<3

Now, here's a hug (づ ´• ω •`)づ

thank you so much, anon 🥺❤️ I saw your ask yesterday right after I arrived home and I was already on the verge of tears (because of something that happened), so when I saw this I actually shedded a few tears 😭 (but today was great! I’m much happier now <33)