#I THINK IT'S ON HULU AND I LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING

[heretodestroyou]

Hello i am requesting for Carmen from the Bear!! Something sweet and heart warming about Carmen being worried about the reader and just the whole kitchen seeing how in love he is ❤️ thank you

yes to heaven.

pairing(s); carmen “carmy” berzatto x gn!reader

fandom; the bear (fx on hulu)

w/c; 758 words

trigger/content warnings; brief sexual implications, brief mention of past injuries, language, richie (he’s a warning all by himself), tina n richie being mean to carmy lol, tina and reader chisme together, is this another fic with an ldr song title????, brief touches on carmy’s trauma (not in-depth cuz this is a fluff fic), not-proof read, lmk if i missed anything.

stella speaks! i need him biblically. at first, i was like “mmm, jeremy allen white” as a joke. but bro. i don’t think it’s a joke anymore…

Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto who’s always watching you. Who has his eye on you, if you will ;)

Carmy, whose eyes are trailing your figure when you first meet. Not in a sexual way, just taking in every detail. The way you stand, the way you move your hands when you talk. Any time you wear a shirt more than once, the nervous tics you have while he tries your food, if you have any visible tattoos, freckles, or birthmark. His eyes snag on every little thing you do for a split second.

Carmy, whose gaze is locked in your hands while you demonstrate your abilities. He’s taking in every scar, every cut, every tear, every burn that was once fresh in the skin of your hands and committing it to memory. He doesn’t know why, he just is.

Carmy, whose eyes will flicker to your face every so often as you cook, lingering in the scrunch of your brow, the purse of your lip, the muttering under you breath, every curve and divet on your cheeks.

Carmy, whose brain short-circuits the first time he sees you in anything other than your lose white tee, black pants and blue apron. Logically, he knows your body has always been shaped that way, so why is heat crawling up his neck in the biting Chicago air?

Carmy, whose new favorite thing is watching you cook. Especially the recipes you know by heart, when every lovely movement your body makes is muscle memory. Seamless and smooth.

Carmy who appreciates the habit you have of cleaning your station as you cook. Those pale blue eyes locked in you as he exits his office, watching you dumping veggies in a crock pot before scooping up the cutting board, knife, and any food waste and making short work of it.

Carmy who is personally offended by Richie watching you cook. Richie and his Richie-esque comments making him roll his eyes, or warning a scoff. “Makes you wanna know what other moves they can do, eh?” “Shut the fuck up, cousin.”

Carmy, whose habit of paying microscopically close attention to you has whispers from Marcus to Tina to Sydney to you. He appreciates the way you wave them off, using the new kid excuse.

Carmy, who’s been reduced to a stuttering mess when you confront him privately about it. He’s spilling out excuses, until you quietly ask him if he wants to grab coffee with you sometime.

Carmy who, the more and more he arrives to work either with you or with a dumb smile on his face, is getting endless teasing from Richie and Tina. Sydney quietly smiles at him, but mainly sticks to talking about the nature of y’all’s relationship with you.

Carmy, who admittedly fears anytime you let sitting with Tina, exchanging words that have her yelling curses or exclamations in Spanish.

Carmy, who has a retort ready for Richie when he asks you if that means he has a chance now, only to clamp his mouth shut when you wordlessly flip Richie off, bringing another soft look into Carmy’s eyes and a dumb grin on his lips.

Carmy who has to kiss every scar, every mark, every little thing in your body when given the chance. It’s a love language, remembering and worshipping every little thing about you.

Carmy who has his eyes on you so much, regulars at The Beef are silently questioning if there’s anything going on. (there is, but Carmy would sooner be Richie’s personal chef than admit it to customers.)

Carmy whose new greates comfort is you. Any fleeting fragment of you. Maybe you washed his clothes once and now they smell like you. Maybe you hugged him so much your scent lingers in his nose. Maybe he’s got a small piece of jewelry from you or reminiscent of you. Anything that has to do with you can bring him out of the deepest panic.

Carmy who swears up and down and to the ends of the Earth that he’s never gonna lose you. It’s not even an option anymore. He would actually just fall to pieces on the floor.

Carmy who shows the uglier parts of him slowly. You actually have to peel back the first layer and stare it directly in the face without fear before he shows you more. He’s just so scared.

Carmy who’s so so grateful you don’t try to fix him. You just leave him as he is, just giving extra love to those broken bits.

Carmy who used to hate love songs before you arrived.

Carmy who was losing faith in the very idea of love until you arrived.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday all :) We only have 5 eps left in this season. I can’t believe it. 17 days to the premiere. Well 18 for me since I don't have cable just Hulu but still. Ahhh the Dim and Juicy Ep. I remember the 3 week hiatus to get to it was the worst. Felt like we had a lot of extended breaks in S5. Drove me insane. But anything is better than the one we’re coming out of now ha I’ll take 3 weeks over 9 months any day heh.

I liked the parallel in this how unhealthy Jake/Sava were. And how solid Tim and Lucy are. I mean Dim And Juicy were a mess. My god the man cheated on her more than once. They are not relationship goals lol I enjoyed them nonetheless though. I know Eric and Melissa had a blast filming this. Did my best to get everything in. Content heavy one. Let us get started.

5x18 Double Trouble

We hit the ground running in this one. Sava is waiting for Jake outside of prison. He’s getting released due to overcrowding. Not because he was good LOL Even Sava makes a crack it wasn't that. Been serving about 6 months for the drug charge got in 4x22. It’s a trip to watch them. We get all the benefits of Melissa and Eric’s chemistry inside another couple. It's wild. Sava all but squee's when she see's Jake which is pretty cute.

They launch themselves at each other once he’s free. All kisses and hands. Saying how much they missed each other. All the chemistry and swaying cuteness that comes with them. This scene is pretty cute to watch. They do look like they are so in love which makes what Jake does later so confusing and awful tbh. He greets her friend Lisa with a hug and you can see Sava breaks it up pretty quickly.

Sava brings Jake back to her side. Asking what he wants to do first? Being the classy gentlemen he is saying she knows what. Ha Horny horn dogs. I do love it though. it’s like getting the most reckless AU version of Tim and Lucy. Although they wouldn’t cheat so it’s not entirely accurate lol Sava asking him if he wants to go straight? Jake replying 'Nah, screw that. Let's be bad.'

This leads us into the documentary. Shots of Jake and Sava during it. My god they are sex crazed af. I think that’s why everyone loved watching them though. heh They legit were gonna make a sex tape and got caught LOL I remember being so excited and confused as to what this episode was going to be ha. All I knew was going to be a documentary one and I always have a soft spot for these ones.

We start off with Lucy getting mic’d up. She looks way more nervous this time around. Why you ask? Her person isn’t with her. Her safe space and grounding force is missing. She even asks why she can’t be interviewed with him? They want their POV's to be separate this time. It’s so sweet she misses him and needs his presence to calm her nerves. This makes me so happy I cannot.

We watch her take a deep breathe knowing they have to be apart. They ask how Lucy knew of Jake Butler in the first place? Lucy goes on to explain about Tamara’s car and drugs they found in it. Which led them to Jake. They bring up the fact he and Tim look alike. Tim is already grumpy and hates these damn things. What happens when you remove him away from his sunshine human.

He’s extra grumpy. It shows in his very first shot. His body language screaming how much he doesn’t want to be here. The crossed arms (mmm hello biceps.) Tim defiantly saying how they don’t look the same at all. Refusing to believe they are anything alike. Other than looks Jake is the complete opposite of everything Tim is for sure. He’s so sassy and salty when the director says they’re identical. ‘Says you.’ Oh my love. I adore you.

They come at Lucy with both barrels about being Dim and Juicy for their OP in 'Double Down.' Knowing their ‘pretend’ intimacy was so much more than that. Lucy looks like she’s getting overwhelmed poor thing. She tries to divert it back to what they accomplished with their OP. Not the fact that they were UC together as a couple. The director presses more asking if that’s when her and Tim became intimate?

There’s a reason they pulled Tim from her for these questions. He would’ve knocked this guy out for them being so personal. Also for making her feel uncomfortable asking them. She can’t even look the man in the face when she says this BS line about pretending. Cause it’s utter crap and she knows it. Yeah they were in other relationships at the time. To quote Angela from 5x01 ‘All true. Not what I asked.’

Lucy defending them both. Saying they didn’t get together until they were both single. Which is true and I am eternally grateful for. Do love her making sure everyone knows this. That they didn’t do anything untoward during their OP. Cause they wouldn’t while in relationships. Not who they are. They were damn close but didn't. Why they are the opposite of Jake/Sava. The director says he wants to dial in on that. Lucy becoming agitated asking do we really have to?

These questions clearly getting under her skin. The director noting it’s astronomical they would even meet the both of them. Let alone have both Jake/Sava together and her and Tim as well in a relationship. Before she can answer Tim interrupts says interview is over. She asks what's wrong? He tells her not here.. Lucy thinking it’s linked to questions she’s being asked. I love him holding the door for her as they leave. Ever the gentlemen.

The closeness and height difference is glorious in this shot. You can tell when they’re alone by her body language Lucy goes into calm down Tim mode. Her hand reaching out for his and subtly touching it. Thinking she has to get him to settle down for hearing those questions. Before Lucy can talk Tim explains why he removed her. Has nothing to do with that. He pulled her over because Jake has gone missing. Doesn’t want to do police work in front of the cameras. Saying Nolan and Celia got missing persons call and it’s about Jake. Lucy is shocked saying 'What?'

Nolan and Celina show up and Sava is freaking out cause Jake is missing. The director asks why Jake and Sava are at a mansion in Beverley Hills? We find out they’ve been casing rich families. Taking over jobs like handy man, nanny etc so they can live in these fancy houses and steal their stuff. It’s pretty smart despite being awful LOL This last family needed a handy man. Jake beats the crap out of the current one. Strong arms his way into taking his job.

I do love seeing how tall he is in that camera shot. mmm. Tall drink of water that man. Jeans and a leather jacket? Yum. Gimme. Luckily this family needed a nanny as well. So they both fit right into this scenario. Angela saying Sava slid right in LMAO I’m dying at Wes’s reaction. They’re so cute I can’t stand it. I do love me some Wopez. He tells her that's a really descriptive way to say it HA These documentaries always produce the funniest little moments like this. Why I love these and have a soft spot for them.

We return to Nolan’s and Celina questioning Sava. She is still panicking. Saying this is why she didn't want to call the cops. Nolan noting because they're doing something illegal? She tries to defend their jobs there. That they're "straight" now. John gets her back on track by saying Jake disappeared? We cut to another video slash moment. Sava and her videos ha it is super cute how he looks at the camera. That smile we all love. Jake saying she needs to remind him to erase security footage. My god they’re sex bunnies LMFAO. He gets up to grab another beer and asks if she wants anything? She said lobster salad.

The ass tap he gives her on his way to get another beer. my goodness. I love it. Reeling over here. Don't worry about me. They must’ve had so much fun filming this. I mean Eric mentioned it was one of fav eps of the season. The BTS they did leading up to his showed how much they enjoyed it. Her little dance after he says he’ll get her lobster salad. Haha Sava just living her best life in this moment and it’s showing. Sadly this is the last time Jake is seen alive on camera.

We find out Jake took off and never told Sava where he was going. Which is heartbreaking. Because she clearly loved this man very much. Moral compass or not she loved Jake. That gets them on the topic of lying and secrets in a relationship. They ask her if Tim and her keep secrets? Lucy says nothing big.

That honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. Cutting to Tim and his reply I’m rolling. Eric killing it in this episode with his sarcasm. The king delivers once again. I mean he’s not wrong he is sitting there because of her secret. Well intentioned secret though LOL One born out of love. This one was funnier than the other two I thought. Just lots of funny/punchy bits like this one. I enjoyed it so much.

We return to station. Aaron’s calling in he found a body. That it’s Tim. The expressions in this scene are primo. First off Lucy and Celina's confusion is hysterical. Standing next to him and hearing this when he's very much not. Tim looks so annoyed Aaron couldn’t tell it wasn’t him LOL Also irritated at the thought of being dead. Like he's insulted he would ever be dead in a dumpster haha Oh Tim I love you so much.Like Aaron you’re all looking for Jake and your mind goes to Tim LMAO Never gonna live this down my dude....

Tim grabbing Lucy’s radio off her hip is doing things to me. I also adore the looks when he does. She just allows it only looking down. Such a deep level of comfortability in this action too. Lucy doesn’t react at all. Just used to Tim and his antics. It’s the little glances through out this portion love too. Tim's look into the camera cracking up as well. Like this friggin dope thinking i'm dead... His face the literal version of SMH ha I loved this mini moment so much.

They ask Tim if it was disconcerting he saw a version of himself dead in the dumpster? Being Tim he’s not going to show a documentary crew of all people his vulnerability. That’s reserved for one person and one person only. We shoot back to Lucy who says she has nightmares. God I can only imagine the nightmares seeing that produced for her though. Even though it wasn’t him you know she carried that with her when they left.

I bet you she had nightmares that night and Tim had to soothe her. Damn that would be good fic... LOL Anyways they ask Lucy if she thinks Tim has nightmares? Lucy tells them no but he’s been doing the job longer. I love her defending his high walls though. Saying why they’re in place. Not wanting them to judge him for it. Refusing to let anyone cast a negative light on him.

The director asks if she’s jealous he can turn it off like that? Lucy’s answer is great because it’s very her. Telling them No. Personally she needs to feel for people it’s who she is. I totally get that I am a massive empath. It’s how I connect with people as well. It has it's downsides it’s true but worth it in the end. When they ask her bout his walls being an issue? I LOVE her smile. Because those walls have never really been an issue. A challenge for Lucy yes in slowly breaking his down over the years. But never an obstacle for them.

We all know she saw behind his walls very early on in their relationship. Saw the man hiding behind that wall. Tim has been a soft marshmallow for her for YEARS. Legit years. Why she has zero hesitation in her reply. He was soft for her long before they got together. It’s just now he allows himself to fully be this way openly and he’s ok with it. Well when they’re alone he is. Of course he’s going to be rough and grumpy with the crew. They’re not his person. Nor would he ever tell them he was soft for her.

That's not Tim Bradford at all. But his actions speak louder than his words ever could. You have to earn that out of him though. Lucy earned it million times over. Why she is the only one who gets to see it. Does crack me up the way the director says. ‘No sir....’ After Tim asks him if he looks like a big softy? You know Tim loved instilling that fear in him. He may be super gone for his wife. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t command fear and respect around everyone else. These two the epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine per usual. Tim is hard ass unless you’ve made past his wall. He loves Lucy most so she gets all the soft goodies haha

Sava shows the director a video she’s scared to share with the team after being questioned. Thinking they’re gonna use it against her. It’s a video of them driving around being all cute. Saying I love you to the camera and such. But then get run off the road in an attempt to kill them. Their car gets totaled and Jake has them bail completely. Car and everything they leave behind. They were able to locate the car for evidence after they see this.

They couldn’t get anything from the car scrapings unfortunately. Had the most common paint out there. So another layer was added to this mystery. Who was the driver? Sava then gets a text threatening her about an item she had no idea about. One that needed to be delivered. It was sent to her and Jake. The texts went on to be violent in nature toward Sava. So it was time for Lucy to go UC to figure this out. Meet up with this person threatening her.

Thanks to Lucy’s UC Op the SL finally has some answers. The guy contacting them was related to Jake they were cousins. He was into some shady stuff and was an international arms dealer. This where I really feel bad for Sava. She had no idea about these back ally dealings he was doing. Not only that but he was cutting her out of the deal on top of it. That Jake targeted this family for a specific reason and she had no idea. Makes me sad when she says she thought he loved her oof.

That she knew him. Pretty sad. We find out later through Sava. That Jake always had a burner phone. They were able to get that number through this whole thing with the shady cousin. It’s where we find out Jake was cheating on Sava. Again….Lucy calling him the Shakespeare of sexting LOL They ask her if she’ll read some of them? It’s adorable how flustered she gets. Saying she can’t her Nana would be watching this. HA

The director does the dumbest thing he could do. Asking Tim if he would read some? Like did you really think that was gonna happen bud? Like really? His reply of if Lucy wasn’t gonna he sure as hell wasn’t going to. Telling him to take that away from him. Have you not paid attention at all in these documentaries? Why would they think asking was a good idea? LMFAO Mess with the bull gonna get the horns people.

We find out the person Jake was cheating on Sava with was Lisa. Her best friend…Like damn it’s bad enough to cheat but with her best friend? God…As douchey as it gets on his part. Jake breaks up with her via text but Lisa can’t handle the fact he was choosing Sava. It’s when everything comes together. We find out she tried to run them off the road and kill them. When that failed she asks for Jake’s forgiveness. Wanting to meet up. When he showed up she killed him immediately and dumped his body. Shit….That's a seriously scorned women right there.

This next portion is the definition Grumpy x Sunshine. They ultimately decide not to charge Sava with anything. The director asking what Lucy thinks of this? She of course gives the softest, most empathetic, and hopeful answer. Because it’s Lucy Chen. She exudes all that in her decision making. It is her super power after all. Naturally her answer was geared towards a second chance. Thinking maybe this will put Sava on the right path.

We cut to Tim saying ‘Of course she said that.’ He knows his girl so well. What’s so great here is his expression as he says it. That smile of his when he says that line. We all know one of the reasons he fell for her is that sunshine. That empathy and her seeing the best in people. She charmed her way into his heart with it. He truly does admire her for it. You can see the fond affection his face and tone when he says this.

He may not agree with her but he loves that about her. The man loves her so much even when he’s being sassy it comes off as affectionate. It's the first time we see him smile this episode. Why? He’s talking about Lucy. She brings it out in him. She melts him even without even being present. Just the thought of her and he lights up. Her compassion is one of his fav things about her. Gah they cute.

They finally get to to be interviewed together. It’s the best part of the episode. Director not wasting any time with his first question. Asking them if they’re worried cause their doppelgänger relationship was so dysfunctional? Lucy once again seeing the best in them. Telling him it was an unfair characterization of them. That Jake cheated not only that but cut her out of a gun deal after that. Not healthy in the least but to her not dysfunctional.

I adore how riled up Tim is with his questions. Protective Tim has entered this conversation. Getting very agitated with what he’s implying. Look at how Lucy looks at Tim as he goes off on his rant. She loves this man sitting next to her. Grumpy rants and all. The amount of affection on her face as he continues his tangent. She could watch him go off all day. My heart. The director saying he thinks it's reasonable question. Tim doesn't agree and tells him off. Saying they’re working too hard. Ha I love him.

Tim continues on (very passionately might I add) about separating their relationship from Jake/Sava’s. Want's to make it VERY clear they are nothing like those two. That the only thing they share is looks. He is so offended he would even compare the two. I mean it’s true. They’re not on the same planet as Tim and Lucy. Lucy continues to look at her man with serious heart eyes. Her smile giving me all the feels.

She is loving his fierce defense of them as a couple. Saying Jake/Sava based their lives on deceit. Of course it infected their relationship. He’s not wrong…This next bit gets me all in my feels. The way he looks over at Lucy. A real genuine smile just for her. Look at his smile. I'm a puddle. He is the absolute softest for her. *heart clutch*

Saying they’re in a very different place. His passionate defense is of them is sexy if you ask me. Also look how different he is with her by his side. Sharing more than he's been doing in his previous interviews. Being a little vulnerable cause she’s there with him. More than he has the entire episode. I cannot. This makes my heart so happy.

The look on Lucy’s face when they ask what place they’re in? She is also ready to throw down with them. Incensed they would even ask that. Her reply is perfection. Saying ‘If you don’t know, then you haven’t been paying attention.’ I remember thinking this was a shot at anyone complaining this season. (and I LOVED it) Which blew my mind btw whenever I saw it. Cause if you could be negative in a season this good what makes you happy? I remember unfollowing some people cause I didn't want their tainted vision in my feed. If you could look at their relationship and not see the beautiful progression you weren't watching the same season as me.

To not see what they’ve built to this point in the season. You are like Lucy said clearly not paying attention. I remember seeing some posts about not enough PDA, kisses or intimacy. (there was lots of intimacy btw just not straight up making out) You’re missing the point of the realistic healthy adult relationship that's being portrayed. They're not teenagers who will be angsty over nothing. These are people in a stage of their life where that nonsense isn't going to happen. Any angst they've had has been productive. If you came out of this episode thinking they needed to be more like Jake/Sava you missed the point entirely. Of this season really. They are not them.

The beauty of Lucy and Tim is in the small tender moments. The little things that add up to so much. Yes I love kisses and such don't get me wrong. God I love them. Will lose my mind over any in S6 no doubt. But there is so much more to a relationship than just that. The emotional intimacy and how they’ve grown together since 5x10 is unreal. The massive shift in Tim alone is enough to tell you how well written they are. What a healthy adult relationship looks like. Had their bumps along the way but what couples doesn’t? I just loved that line from Lucy. S5 is a game changer in the best way for them. If you can’t see it or how they've both grown together you clearly haven’t been paying attention. That line was amazing and I loved her saying as such.

The director takes shot at what place they're in. Coming up with some buzz words. As generic as he could possibly be. Lucy calls him out for it. Because it no where near describes what these two have. Tim is simmering as this guy continues to try and rile them up. I adore him ready to go off and Lucy immediately calms him with a single touch. That’s all takes for him to go from raging bull to heart eye Tim in an instant for her.

Tim was ready to thrown the hell down. I love protective Tim. Lucy taking the wheel in this moment is everything. Her touch basically saying she's got this. Looking directly at her man when she says this next line above. Also don’t think I didn’t see your eyes move to his lips madam. I do adore how she is looking at him. Exuding every ounce of love in her body for him as she speaks. They’re so in love make my heart hurt in the best way. Her eyes so full of warmth and affection for the man sitting next to her. They really are in a beautiful place. Making my shipper heart so very happy.

Tim’s sweet smiles as she rubs her thumb up and down his wrist in a soothing manner. I love it so very much. Never be over how she make's sure to keep eye contact as she calms him down. Tim also doesn't break his eye contact with her as she does this. They're killing me with all the shipper feels in this moment.

Let’s not forget her necklace on full display here. In this beautiful moment. Happy looks so damn good on them everyone. Another thing I love so much is how Tim lets her take over. He was ready to shut this down. Kick them out. She places her hand on his arm and he’s at peace. Lets her direct them from here on out. Only Lucy has the power to soothe him this quickly and effectively.

She’s calmed Tim down enough to have him rejoin the convo. Saying as police officer your future is never certain. Lucy adding on anything can happen at any time. Tim rolling it into kicking them out is amazing. Telling them straight up they’ve overstayed their welcome at this point. I mean they really have LOL Cracks me up how she turns her head towards him. Not really shocked but realizing he's over this now. Her smile is the best.

I love him pointing his finger. The shots at his relationship with Lucy were his breaking point. That is the most precious thing in world to him. Something so sacred. Why Lucy had to stop him from eating them lol Lucy’s reaction is the best. She loves this insane man sitting next to her so much. Her pushing his arm down like 'Ok babe that’s enough.' lmao. Such a wifey move to do that but also she knows Tim is at his limit. Tells them it's time to go now....

I love them instantly going into couple time mode once it's over. Lucy asking if he wants sushi? Tim saying how it’s perfect. Then looks back at them glaringly. Saying this place better be spotless when they get back. I love her escorting him out of the apt. Hand on his back directing him towards the front door before he pops off more. Such a married move. God damn I love them so much everyone. Fantastic ep from start to finish. ❤️

~~~~

Side notes-non chenford

Grey’s picture and how happy it makes him I love it so much. It’s so cute I can’t stand it.

He was so distraught when it was destroyed lol They replace it and it’s so sweet hilarious adorable thing for Grey.

Thank you to all my readers you make my entire day when you like, comment and reblog. Tis been a joy for me. See you all in 5x19 :)

[magicxc]

Movie Genres

Pairings: Survey Coprs - their fave movie genres

Word Count: 835

Warnings: netflix and chill? hulu subscription? binge watching disney?

A/N: I LOVE a good movie okay!! Put me in front of a juicy plot and I'm SAT. Here are the genres that I think the boys would enjoy most!! Tell me yours 🍿🎥🎬 

Eren  - Action/Thriller 

Eren def strikes me as the type to enjoy loud movies that’s fast paced and chocked full of fighting scenes. Even though he has a special appreciation for the martial arts he can still get down with some good ole hand to hand combat. Anything that elicits excitement and anticipation does it for him.

Levi - Western Film

Walk with me here. I’ve seen Kenny reference and even dress cowboyish. I think he’d be all for the genre and considering his influence on Levi, it’s safe to say our short king would too. While the culture may be different from his own, it adds to his amusement all the more. Featuring cowboys, gunslingers, and bounty hunters it’d feel like a dramatisation of his old life underground; and while he no longer affiliates himself with that lifestyle, he does find the genre interesting. 

Erwin - Historical Drama

Fight me. Erwin strikes me as boring lowkey lmfao. I genuinely believe he’s only watching things that stimulate his mind or shows that he can take away from. He doesn’t mind the messiness too much as long as the movie in question is thought provoking or at the very least holds some truth to it. And honestly, the Commander might be onto something here cause historical drama pieces fucking slap. Movies/series like The Crown, Apollo 13, Hotel Rwanda, etc is what he’s tuning into if he wants to watch tv.

Throwing in National Geographic or shows like The Most Extreme for when he wants some background noise.

Connie - Animation/Musical

Connie is such a vibe and while he is comedic relief he’s also super sweet. It's said that he’s basically a runner up to Armin on the emotional scale in regard to how deeply he feels. Our boy started out super naive and trusting and although it shaped him into someone a little more serious; he’s still that sweetie pie at heart. And so I believe animation is his thing and can bring a deep sense of nostalgia from time to time; allowing him a chance to cater to the child within. And the plots genuinely be plotting. That early 2000’s Disney and Pixar was un-fuck-witable. Musicals are just as fun for Connie btw, anything with a happy ending he’s down for.

Jean - Drama

Jean is literally so messy he can't help it. The call is coming from inside the house with this one. Even though Jean is a realist, he can also be an asshole with little regard to how what he says may affect Eren people. That doesn’t mean our boi is heartless, noooo, there has been lots of maturation over the seasons. But he LOVES a good conflict chile. Movies/series like RHOA, anything Tyler Perry, Moonlight, etc is his go to.

Onyankopon - Crime/Mystery

Similarly to Erwin, Onyankopon prefers films that are stimulating. He doesn’t mind indulging in the occasional reality show, but that's usually if he just so happens to be walking past his girl and a good scene comes on. Other than that, Ony is all for the suspense. He loves trying to stay one step ahead of the character but finds it's equally as fun to pick up some cool trivia along the way as movies like these tend to touch on a wide range of topics.

Reiner - Comedy 

After almost losing his mind and his life, Reiner is cool on the movies that bring about intense emotions. He wants to laugh and not regularly either, but full on knee slapping laugh when he decides to indulge in a film. You know the kind where you have to beg your friend to stfu so you can catch your breath? The kind of laugh that feels like you just did a ab workout? That's what he wants. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t watch other genres, but they’re certainly not his first choice.

Armin - RomCom

It's self explanatory with this one. Our munchkin still views the world and its people with big doe eyes of hope, even against all odds. He is a little more realistic in his hopes but he’s still hopeful nonetheless. And he’s much the same when it comes to movies. He wants to see the film where the guy gets the girl, against all odds, and they kiss in the rain; and he’ll love it even better if you slide a joke or two in the mix. 

Floch - Slasher

I genuinely feel like if Floch had a Tumblr, he’d be like one of the slasher girlies with their ghost face fics, only he’s posting ghost face thirst traps hahaha. He gets a thrill from the gore, the screams, the plot, and the kills. I think Floch is just all for the scare, even if he's on the receiving end of it. Anything to get his adrenaline pumping while keeping him on the edge of his seat will do. Thankfully though he’s able to separate fiction from reality and we can only hope he doesn’t get any cute ideas.

[random-imagines-blog]

Ambulances {Robert Downey Jr x Teen!Reader Oneshot} 

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 3483 Summary: Being the youngest actor on the MCU is a dream come true - but why doesn't you feel as good as you should? Notes: Talks about depression.

This was meant to be everything that you ever wanted. The chance to work on one of the biggest franchises the world had ever seen. Appearing in a huge movie, and then getting the chance to star in a television show afterwards, all about your character. Possibly more movie appearances. Getting paid so handsomely that if you were careful, you wouldn’t ever go into debt. Rubbing elbows with some of the biggest and brightest stars in the world. Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch. And you weren’t even out of high school yet. You were supposed to be living the dream.  

Then why did it feel like it was spiraling down into one of those nights where you don’t remember your dreams? It wasn’t a nightmare. There were negatives but nothing that you didn’t expect going into the acting profession. You didn’t hate your job. You didn’t hate your character. You just - started to feel nonchalant about the whole thing. Nothing at all. It started off with not feeling as excited as you used to when you woke up in your trailer to go to set. You were tired and had to drag yourself out of bed to go to hair and make-up.  

Robert was getting his done, his iconic Tony Stark facial hair being trimmed and shaved perfectly. You muttered a good morning before taking your seat, and one of the makeup artists came to work on you. 

“Rough night, kid?” Robert asked, raising an eyebrow at you.  

“I don’t think I slept that well,” you said. “Just - couldn’t get out of bed today.” 

“That’s called being a teenager,” He chuckled.  

“Yeah, probably,” you said, forcing out a chuckle back. You would just chalk this one up to a bad day. Everyone had those. You were able to pep yourself up for your scenes, and work through them without any issues. It was good to focus on something other than yourself for once. Get into the character. Become someone else for a little while. Someone who was mighty, and strong, who got out of bed each morning without trouble - unless they were beat up, which because this was a superhero movie, happened quite often. But you declined going out for dinner with everyone else, just saying that you were tired and headed back to your trailer while they went out to enjoy themselves.  

You looked around your trailer once you were inside. It was quiet in there, save for the very faint buzzing of electricity that was powering the lights. You collapsed down on the small couch where you usually went over your lines but - you couldn’t think of what to do. You didn’t feel like doing ... anything. There was your gaming console set up by the tv, a stack of games - but you didn’t feel like playing them. There was Netflix and Amazon Prime and Disney Plus and Hulu - but you didn’t feel like watching anything. There was your laptop, but you didn’t feel like website surfing. So, you just - sat there. Doing nothing. Feeling nothing.  

Your phone went off. You could see the name on top. One of your best friends from back home. Someone that you usually loved to talk to. But you just ... didn’t feel much like talking to them. A stab of guilt made its home in your stomach once the screen went dark again, knowing that you should have answered it. There was no reason to ignore them. But you still didn’t move. Just letting this feeling of ‘you should you should you should’ take you over.  

-- 

You didn’t even remember falling asleep - and you couldn’t remember if you dreamt or not. One minute, you were sitting on your couch, staring blankly ahead of you, not even thinking of anything, and the next, you were still sitting there but there was light coming in through the curtains and your alarm was going off on your cellphone.  

You were astounded at yourself. You’d never done this before, never felt this way before. You forced yourself up and into the shower but there too, you didn’t feel like doing much of anything. It all felt so ... tedious and worthless. How many times in your life were you going to waste time, standing here in the shower, washing your hair? How many times were you going to cover your loofa in bodywash and lather yourself up? Doing it all today just to do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. It felt so dull. 

And when you got out, all squeaky clean and put on a random hoodie and jeans to head out to hair and makeup, yet again, you didn’t feel as good as you usually did. Usually, a shower was just the thing that helped you start the day. You felt good when you were clean. “God, what’s wrong with me?” You muttered to yourself as you went into trailer and took your seat. 

This time it was Chris Evans that got there the same time you did, sitting in the opposite chair. “You missed a fun night,” he said, grinning at his phone. 

“Oh,” you said, looking straight ahead of you into the mirror. You forced out a laugh that didn’t feel real. “Next time, next time.” 

“I’ll hold you to it. They had some of the best tacos that I’ve ever had-” Chris said, turning into an excited puppy as he often did when he found something that he liked. Usually, it was enough to make you cheerful. But you just tuned him out, not having the attention span for this conversation. Or maybe it just wasn’t the energy. 

The makeup artists started on you, having to use a bit more concealer than they usually did. “Make sure you get all eight hours,” The artist reminded you.  

“Yeah, sorry about that,” You forced a chuckle. She covered your dark circles expertly, patting on powder to try to make it look more natural, and then you were out there to get ready for the shot of the day. You had a bit of time until you actually had to be on the set, since you were just coming in at the end of the scene, so you sat down and just ... watched. You didn’t really say anything to anyone. You weren’t in the most sociable mood. You let your mind wander, your body being present, but your mind was far away.  

“Hey kid,” A voice snapped you out of it. You blinked a couple of times and looked to see that Robert was sitting right next to you. You hadn’t noticed because you had been so busy thinking about ... you couldn’t even remember. That was more startling than Robert’s voice coming out of nowhere. You had no idea what you had been thinking about.  

“Hey,” You nodded, and then looked back out to the set, watching Chris Evans and Scarlett working together on a scene. “I didn’t know you were supposed to be on set today.” 

“‘m not, but I got bored so though I’d check it out,” he said, crossing his arms in front of him. Robert Downey Jr was intimidating, not because he was tough or scary, but because of his long career, and how he managed to recover from some pretty drastic dips. “You seem a little glum, chum.” 

“No, I’m just ... tired,” you said. It felt like a flimsy excuse, but you didn’t have one that felt better. It must have sounded weak as well, because Robert took off his sunglasses in a very Tony fashion and slipped them into his front pocket.  

“Just tired?” He asked. “You coming down with the flu or something?” 

“That could be it,” You nodded, clutching onto that idea. Maybe you had just gotten sick. Maybe there was a bug going around. There was always some kind of bug going around. It would explain your increase in listless behavior. You weren’t always the most active person, but you had been able to keep up with Marvel’s standards for their actors, but now that you were finding it harder, the flu made perfect sense. “Yeah, I think it’s just the flu. Better not get too close, huh?” 

“I’m not worried, I get my shot every year,” Robert said, casually. “You know - you could come to one of us if something is wrong, right?” 

It almost felt like an accusation of sorts. Like he could see right through you. See something that you were having trouble seeing in yourself.  

“Yeah, of course, you’re like - the best mentor ever,” You nodded, forcing on another smile. Just the flu, nothing was seriously wrong, it’s not like you could be ... depressed or anything. You didn’t have time to be depressed. You weren’t in the right business to be depressed.  

Your name was being called by the director, so you stood up quickly. “Gotta go. Good talk.” 

“Yeah, good talk,” Robert said, watching your back as you walked away. He saw something in you that he saw in himself, saw the beginning of something that he had struggled through for a lot of his adult life. And he didn’t want to see you struggle through it, at least not alone. He was going to be keeping an eye on you - two if he could spare them. 

-- 

It felt like the longest month of your life. It just dragged on, and on. There were at least four times that you had almost quit the movie. Where you brought up your manager’s number on your phone and almost pressed dial because you wanted out of your contract. It didn’t matter how much money you would owe the studio, or that you would be blackballed in Hollywood. Nothing felt like it mattered anymore. Your gaming system and laptop were collecting dust, literally, you had drawn a sad face on the system in the dust. You didn’t go out with the rest of the cast anymore, claiming other plans or that you weren’t feeling well, and spent the time in your trailer alone, with the lights off. Not because you were hiding but because you didn’t care to turn them on. You’d just be turning them off when you went to sleep so what was the point? You woke up, you dragged yourself out of bed, you went to set, and then you went back to your trailer and back into bed. You’d doom scroll through social media but not interact with anything.  

You went through the horrors of the world like you were trying to prove something. Or use it as a reason to be the way that you were being. The world was a crazy, unhappy place, so of course you were unhappy. Of course, you were falling into a depression - which was something that you could no longer deny. This wasn’t a few bad days, or the flu, or just feeling uneasy. This was full on, falling through the cracks, feeling worthless, depression.  

You didn’t deserve to be here. You weren’t putting in the work that you should be, which made you anxious about your performance, which made you feel even worse. You felt like you were just an imposter among all of these stars, you didn’t earn your place among them. It should be someone else here. A star like - Jenna Ortega, or Noah Schnapp, would fit in here better than you could. You were messing up your lines, having to have someone feed them to you through a small earpiece that couldn’t be seen on camera. You were given warnings by the director to shape up. You didn’t even cry when you were given that criticism. You didn’t get mad, you didn’t feel proud that he cared enough about you to want you to do better, you just felt numb to it, and returned to your bed like you did time and time again.  

It was after you spent an entire weekend in your bed, not showering, only eating what you could grab quickly and bring back to the bed, which was all the unhealthy stuff, not even changing your pajamas once, that you admitted that you had a problem. That you were forced to deal with the cold reality that - you weren’t coming down with the flu, but that this could seriously be depression. You couldn’t live in the denial of it anymore. 

You knew you should call your parents. Maybe your manager. Maybe even your family doctor to get a referral to a therapist or something along those lines. But there was only one person that you could think of talking to. 

You forced yourself into a shower, found some clothes that smelled relatively clean and didn’t have any stains on them, and put your shoes on for the first time in days. The sun was shining, and you had to admit that it felt kind of nice on your skin after so long. The crew were running around, getting things prepared for today’s shoot, which you didn’t have any part of. A free day, at least for now.  

You walked past a couple of the trailers, looking for the right one. A sign in the door had his name in big block letters, and you saw that he had drawn a little Iron Man underneath it. It wasn’t very well done but it was recognizable. You knocked on the door and then put your hands in your pockets, looking around to see if anyone was noticing you lingering outside. 

The door opened and Robert poked his head out. His cool expression warmed up when he saw you standing there. “What’s up kid?” 

You looked at him and you tried to think of exactly how you were going to say this. He already knew the meaning behind you coming to his door. But - he was still going to make you say it. You just had to say it. 

“I think - I have a problem, Robert,” You admitted. It was the first time that you said it out loud. Your first outside admission that something was wrong. You were putting it out into the universe because that’s the only way that you could get any sort of help.  

“I thought so,” Robert said, stepping out of his trailer. “Come with me.” 

-- 

He didn’t take you straight to a therapist or to the hospital or anything else that you had fared he was going to do. Instead, he took you to a small ice cream parlor near the studio. He bought you a sundae, loaded with all of your favorite toppings, even if you didn’t necessarily feel like eating something sweet right now. You didn’t feel like you deserved the treat. 

“Go on,” Robert urged, digging into his own with a plastic spoon. “You admitted you have a problem. That’s step number one, you deserve it.” 

It was like he could read your mind. He knew exactly what you were thinking and why you weren’t eating. So, you picked up the spoon and you dug it into the mess of ice cream and toppings and sauces and took out a large scoop and put it into your mouth. The sweetness ... actually tasted sweet. It didn’t taste like ashes on your tongue like a lot of food does these days. Eagerly, you went for a second scoop, and Robert was looking at you like you were a child of his that he was proud of.  

“I - I don’t know if it’s depression exactly. I’ve never really been depressed before,” You admitted, stirring your ice cream to make it a little softer, a little easier to eat. “As far as I know, it doesn’t run in my family. And ... it’s not like ... I feel sad or anything. I don’t cry...” 

“Depression isn’t just about feeling sad. Everyone feels sad,” Robert said, taking a bite of his own. “It sucks the life right out of you. It makes you lose your spark. Your passion. Any pleasure that you have in life, it just ... takes it away.” 

“That ... is how I’ve been feeling,” you said with a small nod. “I know it’s ridiculous, like, I’ve got my dream role and -” 

“It doesn't matter, kid,” Robert said, kindly. “You could be the happiest, richest person on the planet, and you can still get depressed. It’s not about deserving it. It’s just something that unfortunately happens.” 

You kept stirring your ice cream rather than eating it, watching the toppings drown under the melting cream. It was hard to take in that this was something that was actually happening to you. It was like a car crash in a way. It happened to other people. It was never supposed to happen to you. 

“So, what do I do?” You asked, slumping back. “Because I can’t ... I can’t be this way. It’s exhausting. I’m forgetting my lines, I can’t concentrate, I keep fucking up scenes and I feel like everyone is mad at me -” 

“No one is mad at you,” Robert said, pointing his spoon in your direction. “Everyone is worried about you. I think we all had it figured out before you did. Did you know that Evans has social anxiety? He works on it every day. He’d be another good person to talk to about all of this stuff. It’s different from depression but ... it has some of the same struggles.” 

“I’ll try to remember that” You mumbled. “So really, what do I do? How can I... get over this?” You plead. You put all of your trust in Robert here. He’d become a leading figure in your life since you joined the MCU.  

“It’s a disease,” Robert said, sadly. “It’s not something where you just take two pills and you’re done. There are medications that’ll help you out, but they take a little while work, and sometimes, you have to go through a couple of different ones to find out what works for you. Though what I’d recommend is therapy.” 

“Therapy?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed together. “I don’t even know what I’d say. I don’t have some ... deep childhood trauma that I can just point my fingers to. I don’t even ... know how to explain how I feel.” 

“You did a good enough job with me,” Robert pointed out.  

“That’s because I know you. I’m comfortable with you. And you knew what it was before I did...” 

“Why don’t I give you the name and number of the therapist I’ve been seeing for years. They’re really good,” Robert said, taking off his sunglasses and making straight up eye contact with you. “Or - they can help you find someone who fits you best. That’s important. You have to feel comfortable talking to them. There’s no shame in trying to find the one for you.” 

You groaned and put your head down on the table, the metal feeling cold against your forehead. You were hoping it was going to be easier than that. That it could just be like antibiotics, take two a day and scare the depression away. But of course, nothing was ever going to come that easy in this life. You were going to have to work for it. Just like how you worked hard for everything else that you achieved.  

“It’s going to be a trek,” Robert said, clicking his tongue, spooning up more of his ice cream. “But I think you can handle it. You took that first step, now you just have to make a phone call.” 

He took a card out of his wallet, and he slid it across the table to you. A professional business card, the name and number of a therapist. You just looked at it from your position on the table, your head turned onto its side now. “Do I have to do it right now?”  

“You don’t have to do anything,” Robert shrugged. “It’s up to you when you’re ready.” 

You sighed again. You missed the days when your parents used to make the phone calls. Used to schedule your appointments for you. Made sure that you got there on time. That was one of the annoying parts of being an adult. You had to do it yourself now. 

You raised your head and read the card again. The name of the doctor in a neat, no-nonsense font. You took another spoonful of your ice cream, took your phone out of your pocket, and started to dial the number, looking at Robert the whole time who gave you a thumbs up. It was going to be a rough road but - at least you could honestly say that you were not alone. That helped more than anyone could ever understand. 

[goodobservationshirley]

Did you go into your conversations with Rebecca knowing she would be a character in the show, or was that something you were still trying to figure out? I really wanted to make her a character. She had done a few interviews where she talked about the way she dove into the world of these teenagers to write this. This woman in her 20s went and did what no journalist, no cop, and no lawyer was able to do, which is get the real truth of what happened. It was a big priority for Hulu that the show have an adult perspective, and she felt like an obvious place to start. Then we would have an opportunity to comment on the nature of true crime and what it does to somebody who immerses themselves in that.

Was she onboard with being a character in the series? I was so scared because the ask was quite personal. In an interview I read before I met her, she talked about her trauma from childhood. I knew we were going to need to delve into that if she was going to be a character in the show. She was really open to it.

She knew she was terminally ill from the time that I met her; she told me a handful of months into knowing her. I think there was an element of knowing she was at the end of her life. She was very ready to allow me to go to her most personal places and put that on the screen. Every time I turned in an episode outline to her, I’d be spinning out on the other side, like, Oh God, this is so fucking personal, and then she would send back her notes and they would just be about a line Josephine says. She never seemed to feel a real pressure to want the character to be hyper-lovable or sanitized. She taught a course on anti-heroines, so when I was like, “Hey, sometimes she’s gonna be more of an anti-hero,” she was like, “I love that.”

The character Rebecca’s feelings about her brother are an important part of the show and one of the reasons she’s able to relate to these kids so much, especially Warren, the only boy accused in the crime. Was that something Rebecca was feeling at the time and just didn’t put it in the book because she wasn’t a character herself? I think Rebecca was processing some of that during our development. In the first conversation we had about how directly the show was linked to her loss of her brother, she said that a lot of people in her life had suggested that Warren must have reminded her of her brother because she lost her brother when he was the exact same age. The final conversations I had with her right before she passed were about the fact that in the end, she realized that it was more about what she saw of herself in him than anything else. She felt that so much of his way of moving through the world would be shaped forever by guilt. I think her quest to make people understand how someone can do a bad thing came from a place of feeling like she had been capable of bad things when she was a kid.

[queencherryberry]

So since everyone voted for Brothers best friend theme. Here it is.

Summary: reader is Randy’s younger sister and she has a crush on his best friend Cody. She just doesn’t know it yet. Reader also experiments as it’s her last year of high school.

Warnings: lots of weed and alcohol usage; mostly weed, eventual smut, swearing, kinks, Matt Riddle, tough love(brother x sister dynamic cause Randy’s a hard ass), lots of partying before college, teasing, pet names

Main pairing is reader and Cody Rhodes

Brothers Best Friend Ch. 1

Your head pounded as you slowly opened your eyes to the burning sunlight that was coming through the window behind you. You groaned not wanting to be awake. ‘How much did I drink?’ You thought to yourself as you pulled the blanket over your head not paying attention to your surroundings. You jumped felling a pair of arms pull your exposed back to the owner’s bare chest. You listened to the soft snoring of the other person before you slowly looked behind you to see who it was. Your jaw about dropped when you saw who it was in bed with you. You then suddenly realized that both of you were naked. “Randel is going to kill me and him.” You whispered under your breath in shock. “Not if we don’t tell him.” The voice groggily answered. You looked back again at the guy behind you and was met with bright blue piercing eyes that were struggling to stay open. “Did we…? When did we…? Oh god how drunk were we?” You started and panic in your voice.

“Relax. Let me take a shower and drink some coffee and I’ll explain everything to the best of my ability.” Cody said rubbing your arm and then groaned sitting up. “Anything you think we did, we didn’t. You literally threw up everywhere and on both of us. I was just too lazy to put my shorts on. And frankly too drunk. Did you want a shower too?” He explained and threw you one of his shirts seeing your embarrassment to being naked in front of him. He himself put on a pair of shorts to make you more comfortable. You pulled the shirt on quickly. You opened your mouth to ask a question and he answered it before you could even ask it. “Your clothes should be in the dryer. Now answer my question. Shower or no? Or do I need to go first?”

You stared blankly at him and then nodded your head. “Right. I’ll take first shower. Coffee doesn’t sound too bad right now. You got an extra pair of pants or shorts..” he cut you off by throwing a pair of short at you.

You turned off the shower handle and dried off. You found your clothes neatly folded on the counter top sink. You got dressed and dried your hair to the best of your ability feeling your hair get frizzy already. You walked out of Cody’s bathroom and followed the smell of scrambled eggs and bacon and….waffles? This man had your heart and you guys weren’t even dating. At least you didn’t think you were. Things could’ve changed last night when you were shit-faced drunk. After all you did wake up naked in your brothers best friend’s bed. Naked. And now he was making you a 4-star breakfast with coffee. How he was single you didn’t understand.

After breakfast you sat on Cody’s bed flipping through his Hulu, Netflix, any streaming service he had. You settled on The Seven Deadly Sins while Cody himself took his shower and got dressed. Your phone buzzing pulled your attention from the anime and you answered your phone. “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR THE PAST 2 HOURS YOU BITCH!” Great. Randal. And he’s pissed. “I-I think I’m at Cody’s?” You replied sheepishly. “Thank god. I thought you were dead somewhere in a ditch. I got concerned when your school called me and said you weren’t there today. Is Codes busy at the moment?” Your brother asked. “He’s in the shower. I’m just watching anime.” You answered back. “Did he touch you?” Randy got right to it. “No. I woke up this morning and he was sleeping on his beanbag chair. Not gonna lie, it looked more comfortable than his bed.” You lied not wanting to anger your brother further. “Can I hang out here for the day? I don’t feel good and I have a throbbing hangover.” You asked picking at your nails. Randy sighed on the other end of the phone. “Yeah. Matt wants to smoke so me and him might come over. What’s Rhodes got for snacks and munchies?” He asked. “Depends. Are we smoking Matt’s stash or yours?” Weed. Just what you needed to get rid of your hangover. “Matt’s. His is top shelf. 95% THC. Guaranteed to rid you of your hangover. I don’t know where the dude gets his shit, but it’s strong as hell.” Randy rambled on. You paused the show and got up to head back to the kitchen to scout for what your brother asked. “Looks like he’s got shit for munchies and shit. Might need to make a stop before coming over.”

After his shower Cody threw on a cut off shirt and his shorts. He found you cuddled in his bed watching tv. “You ok darling? You’ve been quiet all morning?” He walked over to the other side of his bed and grabbed something out of his bedside table and took a deep hit off the object. Your eyes went wide. “Since when do you vape? What flavor is it? Oh and Randal and Matthew are coming over in about 2 hours. Give or take.” You informed him. Cody grabbed the bottle of juice and read the flavor. “Pennywise. It’s a fruit cocktail of sorts.” Cody sat down beside you and took another hit off his vape. You looked over at him asking silent permission to take a hit. He handed you his mod and watched you take a hit. “Mmmm. Yummy.” You smiled. You turned your attention back to the anime in front of the both of you. Ten minutes later you found yourself yawning and stretching suddenly feeling tired. Cody had already lightly passed out the same way you were about to. Something in you couldn’t help urge to want to cuddle so you laid down and slowly inched towards him wanting to feel warm. That man was like a human body heater. He reached out groggily and pulled you close letting your head rest against his chest. Soon you dozed off to the sound of his heart beating and the warmth radiating from him. Out of habit like you’d do to your body pillow back at home, you put on leg over his to get comfortable. He instinctively draped an arm over her side and rested it on her back.

About an hour into their nap Cody woke to the sound of knocking on his door. You were on your side sound asleep with your head on your chest. His phone beeped indicating he had a message. He looked at it and it was Randy. “Come in.” Cody answered groggily. He mentally prepared himself for the load of shit Randy would give him for cuddling y/n. “Hands were I can see them Starshine. My sister better be decent and not sucking your dick or some shit.” Randy said walking into Cody’s room. He stopped for a moment seeing you sound asleep on Cody’s chest as Cody attempted to put both hands up but you were laying on his one arm. Cody craned his head to look at Randy to make sure he looked like a friend and not a foe. “Sorry Randy, would you have liked her in reverse cowgirl instead?” Cody joked as Randy stared daggers at him. “Bro… sick house. You could totally throw a party here.” Matt said following in behind Randy. Matt was carrying his usual stoner stash with him. “Where we smoking bro?” Matt asked not paying attention to the scene in front of him. “Basement.” Cody replied sitting up and bringing you with him. Cody slightly shook you awake. “Rise and shine bitch. You’re not sleeping all day. It’s damn near noon. You’re not gonna be a lazy fuck today. Here, I brought you your comfy sweats and a hoodie. Your fuzzy blanket is in my car. Cause god forbid you go anywhere without ‘blanky’.” Your brother mocked as he tossed the clothes at you and his keys. Your face went red with embarrassment at the mention of your comfort blanket. Cody stood up and stretched his arm that had fallen asleep.

Tags: @alyyaanna @sunnyfleur23 @jazzy-tzw @racerchix21 @claymorexpunisher @theswitchbladessweetheart

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

My Personal Ranking For the Oscar Nominated Animated Short Films of 2023

I got to watch these shorts in a local theater yesterday, and it was quite a spectacular time.  

Note: I am not ranking these based on the quality of the film, but based on how much I personally liked the film.  There is definitely a difference.  I have come to terms with the fact that I sometimes don’t personally like media that is Objectively Good, and sometimes get unfortunately invested in things that are questionable quality.

With that out of the way, let’s delve in.

1. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse

I, too, am surprised that this was my favorite of the short films. Dare I say, I feel a bit basic.  Perhaps I’ll hang up a Live, Laugh, Love sign next.

I’m especially surprised, because I actually have more critiques regarding it than I do with other short films that I liked less. Specifically, the dialogue could sound like platitudes, which is a pet peeve of mine with any media.

But it’s absolutely beautiful.  It’s among the most beautiful animation I’ve ever seen, and seeing it on the big screen was nothing short of an emotional experience.  

The animation and designs made me love each character, and made the dialogue -- which, in a less beautiful film, might have been enough to put me off liking it -- feel heartfelt.  I can’t praise the creative team behind this film enough for the manner in which they brought these characters to life.  The voice performances are also commendable.

Perhaps most importantly, it put me in touch with my inner child.  Wizard of Oz, Jungle Book, James and the Giant Peach, Spirited Away, Kubo -- there is a timeless impulse among children, it would seem, to be befriended and loved by benevolent talking animals or fantastical creatures.

It is perhaps because of my inner child that I love this film so much. My childhood self might have been oblivious to the beautifully simplistic depth of Ice Merchants, the blink-and-you-miss-it beats that make The Flying Sailor so meaningful, bewildered by My Year of Dicks, and existentially terrified by An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake, but my desire for a big white talking horsey is timeless and powerful.

Where to watch it: Apple TV+

2. My Year of Dicks

This one is just. So unspeakably funny.  And, despite the fact that I’m a raging Sapphic who’s never been interested in the dicks available to me, I found it intensely relatable.

This may be a controversial statement, but I find that mainstream Hollywood’s attempts to nail down the Female Gaze are often more obnoxious than the Male Gaze itself.  Partially because it often revolves around what male executives think The Modern Woman(TM) finds appealing, rather than an actual understanding of the female experience.  The Male Gaze, at the very least, feels somewhat organic and based in the personal experience of the filmmakers. 

This -- this felt like the Female Gaze.  A truly organic trip through the psychology, impulses, and emotions of a fifteen-year-old girl.  It treated its female protagonist not as unknowable, but as relatable, with the five unpleasant male characters she was approaching as Other -- each in five wildly entertaining ways.  And it was glorious.

The way the main character dramatized her experiences -- making full use of the animated world in which she lived -- was something I could relate to viscerally.  I’m reluctant to mention anything else about the plot, as I truly encourage everyone to just experience it firsthand.  It’s heartfelt, exquisitely ‘90s, and a beautiful animated tribute to teenhood and questionable decisions.

Where to watch it: Vimeo, Hulu

3. Ice Merchants

Such a beautiful and emotional experience.  I would say that this film demonstrates that less is more, but really, it demonstrates that the illusion of less is more.  In reality, this film is teaming with detail, from the beautifully textured ice and misty landscape below, to the subtle indications of the characters’ recently experienced loss.

I was so entranced by the visual beauty and surrealist elements of this film, it took me a while to grasp its actual storyline: subtle clues, presented by a yellow mug, indicate the loss of the ice merchant’s wife and the mother of his son, and the cold world in which they live comes to represent their grief.

Without giving much away, the film ends with a view of a spring landscape, representing the eventual thaw of this grief as father and son begin to heal.  

Where to watch: YouTube

4.  The Flying Sailor

This beautiful and strange animation is based off of a true story, in which a sailor was flung 2 kilometers (1.2 miles) by the Halifax explosion in 1917, and lived to tell about it.

This film is essentially the sailor’s life flashing before his eyes as he soars, naked, over the exploding landscape. We get to know his character through the blink-and-you-miss-it moments that we witness of his life.

My favorite moment of the film was when he lights a cigarette at the same instant a ship in the harbor (unbeknownst to him, full of dynamite) catches fire. His -- and our -- quiet shock as we realize what we’re looking at is haunting.  He even steps on the match, as if in a subconscious effort to put out the blaze, just as the contents of the ship explodes and nearly ends his life.

Where to watch it: YouTube

5.  An Ostrich Told Me The World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It

Just because I rank this film last doesn’t mean it isn’t good.  It’s incredibly good, and an inventive way to portray a character’s existential crisis through a stop-motion medium.

Ultimately, this is a story about a man realizing how meaningless his life has become while working at an unfulfilling office job.  But that makes the film sound way more mundane than it actually is.  The way in which this existential crisis is portrayed is through the main character realizing that he and his fellow workers are all stop-motion puppets, after he is visited by the titular ostrich.

And I do like it a great deal, but the reason for it subjectively ranking below the other films is the simple fact that the other films left me with a more positive emotional feeling.  This one...is kind of terrifying.

I wonder if the director was inspired by the 1965 stop motion The Hand, in which a gloved human hand is used as a source of horror in the world of a stop motion puppet.  In a similar manner, human hands look uncanny in this film when contrasted with the main character and his puppet world.

Anyway, go watch it and have an existential crisis of your own.  I recommend it.

Where to watch it: Vimeo

Have you seen the animated shorts? Let me know your personal ranking!

[rickybaby]

you're so right when you say anything positive abt danny gets turned into smth that takes away from it bcs that's what's happening in aussie media rn about the hulu show and it really frustrates me. there's an article from news.com.au basically saying that hollywood is his big dream and not racing and that if he's "forced" into retirement soon, he'll be working in hollywood. and it irks me because he just said to chris medland that he's trying to find a good balance and that racing is his core. and in that same article, lewis' movie apex gets brought up but no mention of it being a glimpse into lewis' life after racing, the way downforce supposedly is for daniel. no hate to lewis, i'm loving his creative pursuits (hate brad pitt but cant have it all ig) but this framing of daniel being distracted when he is clearly focused on being race winner again really upsets me.

It's sad seeing how the Australian media's approach to Daniel has changed so much, especially this year during the Aus GP. They used to be 'this is our aussie bloke and we love him' but it feels like certain media outlets have it out for him. The way they were talking about Daniel would have you believe that Aussies don't like him anymore, which I'm glad to now know is not the reality. I guess, the Aussie media just have caught on that Daniel bashing gets the click 🤷🏽‍♀️

The other thing that irks me about people belittling what he does off-track is that people refuse to acknowledge the impact he has had on the sports. I very often see comments along the line that dts misleads people into thinking Daniel is more successful than he actually is, which, yes - he is not a world champion and has had a few tough years. But people refuse to acknowledge that without him, that first season of dts wouldn't have been anywhere close to the success it ended being. That without Daniel, this influx of new fans, attention and investment wouldn't be possible and that very often, it's probably not him who goes off looking for those off-track opportunities but they come to him because people want to have his name associated to their projects.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 2: Race, Disability, and Class. The films in Unit 2 are: The Way He Looks (2014), Being 17 (2016), Naz and Maalik (2015), The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2019), Margarita With a Straw (2014), My Beautiful Laundrette (1985), Brother to Brother (2004), and Beautiful Thing (1996)

Today I will be writing about

The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2019) dir. Ali LeRoi

[Available on Amazon and Hulu, Run Time- 1:44, Language: English]

Summary: A wealthy Nigerian-American is pulled over by police, shot to death, and immediately awakens, reliving the same day over and over, trapped in a terrifying time loop- forced to confront difficult truths about his life and himself. 

Cast: * Steven Silver as Tunde Johnson * Spencer Neville as Soren O’Connor *Nicola Peltz as Marley Meyers

___

I will tell you right now, this was one hell of a watch. It never lets you forget, from the very first second, how much of a tragedy this film is going to give you. God, I don’t even know what to say about this film. It is beautiful, it is poetry, it is horrifying, it is tragic, and real. This is a film I think a good majority of people should see. I don’t know if you all know this about me, but I am a slut for beautiful prose (it’s why Frankenstein is one of my favorite books) and The Obituary of Tunde Johnson delivers line after line of the most beautiful and devastating kind. 

One thing that I want to mention, because it just speaks to the absolute predictability and unfortunate reality of how often Black people are murdered by police, is that The Obituary of Tunde Johnson was released in 2019. But they set it in the future, according to @bengiyo, because they thought the film wouldn’t get released until 2020. The thing that was absolutely chilling about that choice, is not the year, but the date that was selected. 

“Babatunde Adesola Johnson was born on September 30th, 2002 to Adesola Johnson and Yomi Okafor in Lagos, Nigeria. On the night of May 28th, 2020, Tunde Johnson departed this life at 9:38pm in Los Angeles, California” 

Because, George Floyd was murdered on May 25th, 2020.

They couldn’t have known that, and it is so entirely possible that any day they had chosen would coincide with another tragic and preventable loss. But the weight of the first sentence of this film alone struck me. Because the premise of this film is that Tunde Johnson is stuck in a time loop where he is killed by police before the night is over. Tunde is the vessel by which repeated violent racism and genocide against the Black Community is committed over and over and over and over, in an endless, exhausting cycle. So it is a coincidence, but a sobering one to realize that Tunde died around with Mr. Floyd would have, and made me wonder whether or not his name would be forgotten. 

But secondarily, they chose Los Angeles as the setting for his first death. Which gave me pause because the only thing I could think about when I heard that was whether or not it was an intentional call to the LA Riots of 1992 which (for those who are not familiar with US history) began as a result of four police officers being acquitted on charges of using excessive force in the arrest of a man named Rodney King. 

9:37 pm on July 6, 2016 is when Philando Castile died from the wounds he suffered at the hands of police. 

It is hard for me to figure out what to talk about with this film because more than anything it gave me pause, it left me speechless and contemplative about their messaging. So, let me give you some lines: 

“I’m having really abstract ideas. Colors, hues, my next photo series. Something…something like, deconstruction. A young African American male, or Black masculinity….I just keep seeing red,” 

“We love you unconditionally. I want you to know. I want you to know that, to understand that, with unconditional love comes unconditional fear.”

“I will no longer die. I have become 200 hills rolled in to one. I am immovable.”

“I’m Black and gay, and even those two hate each other. Which means,like in the eyes of humanity, i’m like wo degrees off human. Something to be feared and laughed at, like this curiosity in the corner. I should be happier though, right? Dr. Martinez? Cause I”m one of the lucky ones, like I got a nice car, and a big house. All this stuff, supposed to make me feel like I’m worth something. People walk right through me, Dr. Martinez. No one sees me. Except him. Soren sees all of me. And if he can do that, then he can do anything.”

Like these are just beautiful, tragic words, each one carrying significant weight. 

My warning to those of you who may watch this (and again, I think most everyone should watch this) is that you will see repeated acts of violence done to a Black teen (or in this case a 30 year old actor playing an 18 year old). [And I will be talking with some details about those deaths from here] And part of what is striking about that is that the way we see him die changes every time. The first time Tunde Johnson dies, we are in his point of view, he is pulled aside for a traffic stop, and shot when he turns to talk to an officer, with his hand in his pocket and gets struck twice in the chest, one officer yelling “gun!” [he did not have a gun]. The second time Tunde Johnson dies, he is killed the same way, pulled over at 9:38pm, and shot when he turns around, but this time, we see it through the cop car’s dash cam. I think “I wonder if the solution to surviving the evening is having a white person in the car with him so the officers behave themselves” which was then immediately undermined when Tunde was shot in the driver’s side of a parked car, and shot by two white female police officers while his wealthy, white boyfriend Soren livestreams the cops to try to hold them accountable I guess? 

Crucially, this white boy escalates the situation with the police officers because he can talk back to them and be safe, and the police get aggressive, tell Tunde not to move and to step out of the car (you know, don’t move to unbuckle your seatbelt, but step out of the car) and fire multiple shots at him at point blank range. We see this happen through the livestream. 

His next death happens via the image of a 911 operator phone call transcript, you hear the gun go off in the background of the call. Tunde wakes up for the umpteenth time in the time loop, calls his boyfriend multiple times because he’s feeling like he’s losing his mind, and Soren doesn’t answer for hours, so Tunde is mad. And Tunde goes to school mad, and Tunde brushes past the front office at the school he goes to and should be known at and starts walking the halls, escalated. He sees his boyfriend fucking his girlfriend, gets mad, gets in a small fight with the two of them, and is shot in the hallway with his hands up while the two white people are completely fine, safe, and sobbing over the dead body of their friend. The lead up to that we see Tunde through the school’s CCTV screens. 

So, up through now the deaths we have seen have been quick in all accounts, one movement from Tunde sends the officers shooting, he drops to the ground, and then he wakes up gasping. Over and over, and over and then…the last time Tunde Johnson dies, we see the scene first through the window of a gas station. The famous, wealthy white man walks away for one minute, and Tunde is being brutalized, and he dies by being suffocated, trying to tell the police officer ‘I can’t breathe” but not being able to complete the sentence. I would have to go back to time that scene, and I am not going to do that because one time watching this kid die was enough, and the entire time he’s choking they stay zoomed in on his face, to time it to see if it is referencing any particular death by choking case of police brutality (I’m thinking very much of Eric Garner here). [To here]

(if you skipped any of that, or in general just to summarize, Tunde's deaths are recording: in his POV, by dash cam, by live stream, by security camera, by 9-1-1 call transcript, and in extreme close up)

I like that Tunde wakes up after this final death, he says “I will no longer die. I have become 200 hills rolled in to one. I am immovable.” and that in speaking those words, he has made them true. There is so much obvious genius in this film, the cinematography is beautiful. I love the way they keep adding details to the time loop to make each experience different, and that those differences start out miniscule, and change almost entirely the more times he dies. I love that Tunde finally seeing that his best friend since childhood, Marley, who is white will turn against him in an instant the second that he hurts her. I love that Tunde survives the night when he finally stops letting himself settle for the way Soren (also white) has been treating him. When he finally has enough with letting Soren not only deny their relationship, but to fuck someone else to keep up appearances. I like that we get enough of a backstory on Tunde to understand some things about him, but a small amount that makes us realize that he has a lot of other things in his past that are informing how he alks about through life right now. I like that it feels like Tunde is lived in, like he is a person, with a history, and that at any point we could ask the writers, the actor, or whoever about Tunde Johnson’s likes or interests, or his best or worst memory, and they would have an answer for you. 

This film will sit with me for awhile, that’s for sure.

By/For/About 

For and About Queers. I would say that this is a tricker one for me because there are some heavy handed messages in this show about like, white privilege and all that, that makes me feel like it is being written for people who do not hold the identities in the film, so I would be inclined to say it was mostly just About Queers, BUT I think that there are specific groups of queer people for whom this film may strongly be made for them. I do think this film does an incredible job of maintaining and reminding the audience of Tunde’s queerness, because there is a history of police brutality and queerness that cannot be forgotten, and by having Tunde be both Black and queer, there is literally no part of himself he can protect from police violence.

Favorite Moment

My favorite moment is Tunge’s monologue about being Black and gay. It was so beautifully performed, the words were so powerful, the way Tunde’s white or white-passing, female psychiatrist was reacting to the realizations of why Tunde exists the way he does. And I like the subtle messaging we get as a result of that, understanding that yay, it’s great that Tunde or his parents put some value on mental health, but how beneficial is Tunde’s treatment going to be if his psychiatrist holds literally 0 of the identities that he does? 

Favorite Line

The last line of the film. 

“On March 28, 2020 Tunde Johnson survived.” 

I don’t think I realized how much I was holding my breath throughout this film until I heard those words aloud. 

Score

10/10

P.S. it is reallllyyyy fucking telling about how people have engaged with this film when 95% of the things I saw in the tags for this film when I was looking for gifs are of Marley and Soren, the two white people, or Soren and Tunde together when part of Tunde's entire arc is shedding that dead weight.

photos from @kilimiria

Next up: margarita with a straw

[danpuff-ao3]

break.

I wasn't really going to "announce" this, but I'll be taking a little break for a while. My current mental health state is....pretty critical, actually. Generally I try to be open about my mental health struggles, because I know how beneficial it was, and is, for me to remember I'm not alone. And if me sharing my struggles helps others, too, that's the least I can do. But dire as things are, all I could think was: "no one cares about your pity party, danni."

Last night, though, thoroughly exhausted from therapy, I flopped down on my couch and watched Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields on Hulu. Towards the end, in part 2, she spoke about her battle with postpartum depression and speaking out about it in 2005, which I actually remember. I was an avid consumer of celebrity tabloids in my younger years. Somehow I'd forgotten how big of a deal it was at the time. And last night, I felt extra admiring of how she came out to talk about it, the backlash she faced, and all that she accomplished back then.

More than that was her talk of being diagnosed. And how abnormal and wrong she felt. And how worried the people around her were. We've come a long way in terms of mental health awareness, though there's also a long way to go.

I'm no Brooke Shields, I'm afraid, and nothing I say is going to knock anyone's socks off. But I'm suffering. And I have been for a long time. And despite everyone else's dearest wishes, I'm not going to get better anytime soon. My therapist and I both know there is a very long road ahead. Part of that journey is learning how to take care of myself, and when to step back and rest when I need to. Much as it matters to me to share love and joy, it is very exhausting, and I'm quite tired now.

Other people's expectations and entitlement (and inevitable disappointment) leave me feeling quite raw. I need to remember that I am not at fault for not giving or being what they want.

Other people's opinions on my healing are, frankly, ridiculous and offensive. There's nothing wrong with me as a person for having different struggles and different needs. All I can do is focus on myself and take care of myself. I'm doing all that I can. I'm committed to this path and that's what matters, more than anything else. Progress will ebb and flow; sticking to it is what matters.

As you can probably tell, there's a lot of pain and pressure from others, and why stepping back for a while and not engaging so much will probably be good for me. It will be good to sit with myself for a while, and surround myself with the people who love me, and let them love me. And with luck I'll have a little reset, better balance and boundaries, and a new outlook!

So...Until next time, friends <3

[ratherembarrassing]

2024: week 13

birthday week!: part one: becco for lunch until people started arriving for dinner, good heavens until it was definitely bedtime. part two: walrus for a very needed recovery pancake, poodle for a parade of deliciousness, at a table on the street somewhere on brunswick street listening to the band upstairs.

tv(1): extraordinary (hulu/disney+, season 2). not a lot of shows make me go i love them all sfm these days, but I LOVE THEM ALL SFM. last year someone sat me down and said WATCH THIS and put season 1 in front of me, and i doubt i ever would have had that not happened, but this show is just so charming.

tv(2): girls5eva (netflix, season 3). i wish i loved this show more. i wish this show was produced by anyone other than tina fey. i wish i could watch sara bareilles and renee elise goldsberry do five million other things together.

tv(3): silo (apple tv, season 1). there is this one thing that happens in episode 3 that is going to drive me insane for the rest of my life. that said, this show is fascinating for eleventy million reasons and also rebecca ferguson is hot as fuck covered in dirt. i'm gonna rewatch it and say more things.

music: c*wboy c*rter (b*yonce, 2024). i listened to this thing, and i don't want to lose my life or get doxxed or whatever, so.

sportsball(1): happy opening day to baseball! i'm not so naive as to think the red sox winning their opening day game means anything, but it sure did feel nice.

sportsball(2): i'm a couple of weeks late to remembering to care, but afl is back so my extended family has something to talk about to each other again, hooray!

sportsball(3): emma hayes should shove the other manager after the final whistle every week when chelsea lose. as a treat.

[psychicbergara]

personally, I felt like Ghost Files was a bit overproduced, and by that I mean it felt like they spent more time and energy on making all the graphics and explaining the fancy tech they've been using than actually, y'know, exploring haunted places*1. A part of the reason why I liked bfu so much and why I felt it stood out from other TV ghost-hunting shows was that it felt like it came from "normal" people who were more interested in exploring haunted places than producing a TV show, and although I know it's always been Watcher's intention to make quote-unquote "TV-caliber videos", it just doesn't work personally with what bfu stood for*2. This also doesn't have anything to do with over-producing, but I feel like they have a few times gone into the same trap that the Try Guys often have by adding too many unnecessary rules and details to their concepts. Like I never understood why they had to hide that walkie-talkie from each other, why couldn't they just do a solo tour of the house without having to find the walkie-talkie? that's essentially what they did anyway. In that same vein, I don't understand why they've insisted on adding that whole "is it still a mystery or is it solved" segment on mystery files because it doesn't really change much to the overall concept of the show

*1 I think some of their shows thrive on being "over-produced", like puppet history for example, but I just don't think that is a vibe that works well for a show like Ghost Files

*2 I also feel it's fair to compare bfu and ghost files because those expectations and the audience from bfu is what they've been banking on

i can see where you're coming from but the spending most of their time and energy on graphics and tech for ghost files is smth i don't agree with. like the graphics are the same blueprint graphics clip they repeat in every other episode. and some of those graphics are hand drawn by another person. it's in every episode but it doesn't seem like they recreate these graphics for every episode (unless its a graphic of the location) to intensely focus their time and energy on. and more recent episodes of ghost files literally has like.. the majority of the video of them ghost hunting. usually like 45 minutes out of the hour they ghost hunt. compared to bfu they explained the lore of the location for a good 15-20 min while also interviewing people from the location out of the 45-50 min episode. so it's kinda similar, but i personally think they ghost hunt more on ghost files.

also they can't copy the same exact design/format of bfu unless they want to get sued by buzzfeed. i think that's just the reality. and they're the same normal dudes ghost hunting but with better production. their job is ghost hunting, of course they want to improve in something that's most of their job. and just bc they want to experiment with some trippy tech doesn't necessarily make them overproduced imo. they just want to explore options which isn't a bad thing, and it's something buzzfeed never allowed them to do so of course they wanna go that route.

and tbh bfu was tv-caliber content imo. lesser quality compared to ghost files, yea, but it was def something worthy of being on tv (like it was put on hulu). the lesser quality has everything to do with buzzfeed not allowing them a bigger budget, restricting their creativity, overworking their crew, and laying off their staff (which ryan and shane complained about all the time back then) versus bfu standing for something less than tv caliber. but again, i really think this just comes down to taste rather than overproduced vs not overproduced. if you prefer bfu, that's totally fine!! if you prefer ghost files, that's also totally fine. i love gf but i get why people are nostalgic for bfu since thats the series we started out with. but some people (not you anon) outright hating on gf so suddenly is ridiculous when those same people were clamoring for gf live tickets and ask that they go international.

and to your second point- while i like those concepts they add in the show, it's okay if you don't! no big deal, everyone has their own interests. and i think the whole 'is it a mystery or is it solved' is more about the videos needing to have a 'motivation' or 'theme'. and i dont get what you mean by 'adding' this concept when it quite literally is the gist of the entire show from the show's conception/beginning.

anyways, all this to say, i get where you're coming from. but people suddenly thinking this is overproduced is kind of wild in my opinion

[mx-piggy]

I've decided that I'm going to be reviewing every episode from the new season of Futurama. No one asked, but, hey, it's my blog and I like to think people may have mild interest in my opinion. So, here are my thoughts on 'Children of a Lesser Bog'.

Once again, if you wanna chat about the episode in the notes (comments, rbs) or via DMs, feel free!

I really enjoyed this episode, I think more than I enjoyed the Impossible Stream. With the Impossible Stream, you had the novelty of 'hey, new Futurama!', with an okay story and some good jokes. But, I feel like this episode worked better for me because I adore when Futurama allows itself to examine its characters in stories that have a genuine sense of emotion. Plus, I'm biased because I love Amy and it was really great to see a rare moment of her explored in so much depth. I feel like there are only a handful of episodes that focus on Amy, and even fewer that are so genuinely touching.

The plot was actually really good, in my opinion. I assumed the writers were just going to do something a little sitcom-y with Kif and Amy becoming parents and struggling to balance everything, so I liked the way the story went with Kif being away from his family and trying his best to get home to them, and Amy struggling to cope with motherhood as well as experiencing insecurity. I like how the plot was resolved in a genuinely heart-warming way, with the conclusion of Amy's love for her kids being more important than any biological link to them she lacks. Also, I'm interested to see how they handle this idea of Kif and Amy being parents going forward. In the Comedy Central years, they preferred to maintain the status quo of the show (hence Fry and Leela's muddled relationship), so I'm wondering if being on Hulu will mean that the show will be less afraid of shifting the status quo.

So, I want to get my more negative thoughts out the way before moving onto things that I liked/loved, since I'd rather emphasise the positives of the episodes considering I had a very positive opinion of the episode overall.

I only really noticed it in this episode, but a lot of my issues with the animation/writing from the Comedy Central era of the show, and probably before then, too, is how the show has a tendency to have very limited animation when a group of characters are gathered together but only a few of them are actually talking. It always feels clumsy and odd because there'll be so many characters just standing there, not reacting to what's going on, which is out of character for most of them. I understand that it's not really the fault of the animators and that it's a tough industry. It only really registered in this episode because of how it was strange to see Zapp just standing there in the background expressionlessly, without having said anything in the episode (or even this season, to my recollection) prior. Also, it was odd to see the Planet Express crew just watching on with unchanging expressions and without saying anything as the Grand Midwife threatened to take Amy's kids away in a genuinely heart-wrenching scene. I just wish there was more reactivity to the characters in the background, to make the characters feel more fully realised and as though they have meaningful relationships to one another. Otherwise, it has the same lifeless quality to most of Family Guy and its various knockoffs.

A problem I had with this episode specifically is that I found it a little contrived that Leela would forget that she knocked up Kif because the writers needed an excuse to exposition dump information that a lot of the audience would remember. It felt very out of character for her. In general, not a lot of this ‘reminder’ dialogue felt natural. I'm worried that this will happen in the show going forward when it continues plotlines from previous episodes (e.g. Parasites Regained). I feel like it's kind of a time-waster to have them spend almost five minutes of a 24-minute-long episode reminding the audience of information they could easily access from rewatching Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch if they don't remember it. I feel like they would have cut this part of the episode out if it was airing on TV rather than on a streaming service, because of the differences in time-strictness.

That said, Sex Across the Universe and drunk Leela were pretty funny to me, so I guess I can somewhat get over this issue.

This is a very personal issue for me, and it's that I feel like Zapp didn't have as much of a presence in this episode compared to previously in the show. Don't get me wrong, I think it's fine for there to be an episode that has Kif and Zapp in it but has Kif be the focus rather than Zapp. What I mean is that Zapp is this larger-than-life character who has some of the funniest lines in the show even when he's a minor character in an episode, and I just didn't get that from him in this episode.

The show feels very different just vibe-wise compared to the original run and the Comedy Central run, but I feel like, at times, the CC run could also feel a little lifeless, if that makes sense. I don't know how to describe it, really. With the original run, there was always a sense of life to it, without any moment feeling like 'dead air'; maybe it was because of the animation had more of a human touch- or feels that way, anyway- than the more recent instalments of the show. But, the style and delivery of jokes at times have felt increasingly slow and empty to the point of feeling clumsy. It's something I've always felt about Futurama as well as the Simpsons, but I have no idea if I've effectively articulated it.

Now, onto the more positive things!

I'm so happy that they've finally figured out how to handle Amy and Leela in a way that doesn't feel irritating and at least mildly sexist. In the past, I've really hated how they've had the two main female characters of the show be so unpleasant to each other, whilst the male characters can get along just fine and have close, meaningful bonds. Like, it just felt like a bunch of male writers saying 'we think women are two-faced and catty so Leela and Amy will just be like that'. I'm in the process of writing a fic that explores Amy's harsh treatment of Leela as a result of the envy Leela causes her, because I'm so unhappy with their canon relationship and I wanted to see them to have a kind of meaningful relationship. Actually, I found it interesting that the conflict between Leela and Amy in the episode is sparked by Amy's jealousy.

After this episode where they have some of the most pleasant interactions between them out of the whole show, I'm actually optimistic that the show will make Amy and Leela have a pleasant relationship after this episode, though I can only hope they can have a somewhat meaningful relationship going forward, in the same way Fry and Bender have one.

I actually think the conflict between Leela and Amy in the episode is perfectly understandable and logical, more so than the random catty comments Amy would make at Leela's expense in the prior seasons. This time, Amy's actually really hurt and insecure about her kids favouring Leela over her. I feel like it was a good, compelling storyline, not only looking at Leela and Amy's relationship to one another but also examining the broader theme of motherhood or parenthood as a whole, and how Amy may not be the kids' biological mother, but she is their mom and she loves them. And, I really like how they didn't go down the route of Leela trying to take the kids away from Amy. I feel like it's a plot line you could kind of justify because of Leela's own issues with being an orphan and whatnot, but it wouldn't have been in character for her, at least in my opinion. I really liked how they positioned Leela as the kids' aunt, rather than her being jealous of Amy for having kids.

There were a lot of funny jokes in the episode, and I've compiled them into a bullet point list:

Bender coming third in Masterchef Junior.

The noise the Professor makes when his mouth is stuck together by the honey.

‘Buy A Church’ and ‘reassure Kif’ on Amy's schedule

Axl (the biggest of the three kids) in the stroller was a funny visual gag.

Kif being one of those wine moms with his mineral water.

Zapp's pleading cries as he is dragged into cave- it reminded me of Love's Labours Lost in Space, with Billy West's hilarious delivery of 'oh, God, no!'

“AND STAY AWAY FROM MY SCROTUMS!!”

"Daddy’s coming to tuck you in. To your graves.”

“Scruffy’s stuff gets around.”

Visual gag of Kif ripping off his shirt and proceeding to fold up his skirt.

“I did what a daddy had to do.”

Other little things I liked, compiled into a bullet point list:

I'm happy that they replaced Billy West as Mr. Wong’s voice actor. Sort of unrelated, I'm hoping that the King of the Hill revival does the same for Kahn.

I really liked how the kids kept going over to Leela. The first time especially, it was really funny.

Also, the kids were really cute! I like how they were different ages (physically/developmentally, anyway), because I feel like it'd feel too cliché if they were all babies. I don't know why; I think it'd just make it feel too sitcom-y having Amy and Kif take care of babies.

I loved Aunt Leela; it was nice seeing her interact with them.

I really liked seeing Zapp and Kif in action together. I feel like it's something surprisingly rare on the show to have Zapp and Kif doing something that doesn't directly involve the Planet Express crew, so it was interesting to see them together on a DOOP mission.

[princessconsuela120]

Chapter Ten: That Funny Feeling

—✧

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: Pregnancy, grooming..? Kinda, big girl problems, mentions of sex, angst, cursing

Author’s note: this one kinda hurt me lowkey, but I love it😭. Only a little bit longer of season one, guys the baby’s almost here I hope you’re excited. Don’t forget to vote comment and repost! Eat up!!

Chapter art by @clownfacepancakes120 & @silvell

—✧

I HONESTLY COULDN'T BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW QUICKLY I STORMED UP TO KYLE AT HIS LOCKER THE NEXT DAY IN SCHOOL. I couldn’t entirely tell how angry I was, or why, maybe it was because of my pregnancy hormones. They always seemed to be through the roof whenever I was around Kyle. It was almost like ever since Kenny told me he was still going to prom, going without me, and to make matters worse with Rebecca Cotswolds, I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around anything else.

“Are you honestly and truly going to prom with Rebecca Cotswolds?” I asked angrily, slamming his locker shut. He looked at me with wide eyes, gulping in fear when his eyes met mine.

“Hi.” He said shortly, trying to smile but his anxious nerves took over.

“Kenny just said...That you were gonna go with her.” I continued, feeling my chest compress with anger.

“Yeah. I did ask her if she wanted to go. A bunch of us are gonna go to Casa Bonita and then prom… And then go to Cartman’s cousin’s cabin. So… We're getting a stretch limo.”

I pressed my lips together, nodding my head, trying to hide the rage that my face was trying to force out.

“You must be pretty stoked that you're not taking me.” I said, tilting my head slightly as Kyle sighed.

“You're mad. Why are you mad?” He asked, his breathing become even more unsteady.

“I'm not mad. I'm in a great mood.” I shrugged, letting out a loud fake laugh as I continued. “Despite the fact that I'm in a fat suit I can't take off. And despite the fact that everyone's making fun of me behind my back. And despite the fact that I almost lost my brother because of this. And despite the fact that your girlfriend gave me the stink eye in art class.” I grumbled, making Kyle sigh once again.

“Rebecca’s not my girlfriend. And I doubt she gave you the stink eye. That's just the way her face looks, you know? That's just her face.” He stuttered, looking up at the celling to avoid my eye contact.

“Yeah. You just take Soupy Sales to prom. I can think of so many cooler things to do. Like I might pumice my feet. I might go to Big Gay Al’s and you know, pet his cats. Maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice. Because all those things would be way cooler than going to prom with you.” I continued to shout, now this time Kyle scoffed.

“You're being really immature. You have no reason to be mad at me. I mean, you broke my heart. I should be royally ticked off at you. I should be really cheesed off. I shouldn't wanna talk to you anymore.”

“Why? Because I got bored and had sex with you and I didn't wanna marry you?” I said angrily, making him roll his eyes.

“Like I'd marry you. You'd be the meanest wife ever.” I rolled my eyes at him, and he just looked away to continue talking. “And I know you weren't bored. Because there was a lot of stuff on TV. And They were streaming dirty dancing on Hulu and you love dirty dancing. And you were like, “oh I love this movie, Patrick Swayze is my husband. But, oh, no, we should just make out instead."”

He looked away again, but I didn’t. I stared straight at him, carving daggers into his skin with my eyes. I hated it, all of it. I think the baby hated it too, cause I don’t think I’ve ever felt it kick so hard. ‘Stop, stop arguing, you know you love him.’ It’s almost like that angry fetus churning inside of me knew that too. But I couldn’t stop.

“All right, you just take Rebecca the douche packer to prom. I'm sure you two will have, like, a real bitchen time.” I said, throwing up gang signs to make fun of her.

“Well, I still have your underwear.” He teased, making me roll my eyes as I glared back at him.

“I still have your virginity.”

“God, would you shut up?” He grumbled, rolling his eyes. He sighed, as if he was bracing himself. For a second I could tell he hated this just as much as I did. “I don’t understand the big deal. I mean, Jo you won’t even let me tell my parents. I get it, you’re giving the baby up, you don’t want anything to do with me, but it’s like I don’t even exist to you anymore.”

That one stung. Now I have known Kyle since preschool. I mean, we played in the same sand box at the playground. I couldn’t get my sand castle right, so he decided to come help me. That was of course until Cartman came and stepped on our entire masterpiece, and Kyle hugged me when I cried. We were 4, I barely even remember anything else from that age. And then there was 4th grade, where our entire lives seemed to begin. There was our first kiss on the playground, getting married in his backyard, saving his ass while trying to defeat professor chaos. There was everything, he was everything. And then there was the science trip. I had gained confidence from the bottle of Landshark that I snuck into our room, and we had to share a bed. Not that I didn’t want to, I did. I don’t know why I let things escalate from there. Why I didn’t just assume everything would be fine, nothing would come from it. We were just gonna make out, and I could get over my stupid crush. It would be so simple. And then we had sex, and now I’m in even more love with his stupid curly ginger hair.

“Are you ashamed that we did it?” I asked angrily, sass clinging onto my tone as he shook his head sadly, looking back up at me.

“No.”

“Because at least you don't have to have the evidence under your sweater. I'm a planet.” I shouted, creating a new silence between us. It was like he forgot he was supposed to be angry for a second.

“Let me get your bag. You shouldn't carry that.” He said, reaching for my backpack as a shoved him away.

“What's another 10 pounds?” I hissed lowly, before quickly walking in the other direction, once again leaving Kyle dumbfounded and sad at his locker.

—✧

“Hi. Wow, that shirt's working hard.” Mark said, looking down at my now very large bump that was beneath my signature Garfield shirt. I was only about 6 or 7 month along now, but for some reason this baby was huge. It’s kind of funny actually, when I talked to Sheila about it she unknowingly admitted to me that Kyle was also a huge baby, not aware that he most likely was the reason this child was huge. I swear I could’ve been having twins or something.

“Is Vanessa here?” I asked, walking in and looking around, hoping to blow off some steam and watch a horror or something. Away from my family, away from Kyle, away from everything.

“No. We are safe.”

“Sweet.” I said, slinging my back off my shoulder and tossing it on the couch, laying back as I let out a sigh of relief.

“I'm glad you're here. I actually have something for you. Come here.” Mark guided me to a side room, full of comics and guitar stuff. It was an interesting space I couldn’t help but look around with wonder.

“Whoa, Mark, is this the baby's room? It's beautiful.” I teased, making him roll his eyes as I chuckled lightly.

“Oh, that's hilarious. No, this is where I keep all my old comics… And I wanna show you one.”

“You're one of those guys?” I teased, laying out on the couch as soon as I got in. It’s safe to say my ankles were taking majority of the heat during this pregnancy. “You know my 17 year old brother doesn’t even read comics anymore.”

“Come here. Take a look.” Mark said, choosing to ignore my sarcastic remarks.

“Is this a pregnant superhero?” I asked excitedly, looking down at the anime comic book I was handed.

“I found it in Japan when I was there with my band. It reminds me of you.” He said, smiling softly. I nodded with a wide smile on my face as I flipped through the comic.

“Hells, yeah. This actually makes me feel way less of a fat dork.” I explained, earning another smile from Mark.

“Well, Yuki is a real badass. You should be proud to be in the same condition.”

“Thank you.” I said, smiling back at him. “How about some tunage?” I requested, earning a raised eyebrow from Mark.

“Tunage. Okay, yeah.” He said, going to go and play music from his record player. “All right, don't look, numéro trois.”

“I'm not looking.” I said, covering my eyes as he put the record on the player.

“This one is actually kind of slow, but it's Mott the Hoople… So it's still totally rad and hardcore.”

“I know this one.” I said, swaying slightly side to side. Mark seemed to perk up at that.

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“This song is older than I am, if you can believe it. I danced to this at my prom.” Mark explained, making me laugh slightly at the thought of mark at prom.

“Who'd you dance with?”

“Cynthia Vogel. Great dance partner. She let me put my hands all over her butt.”

“Hot.” It was strange, I was used to giving this sort of response to Kenny, not Mark. But it was great, I mean it was like he was a buddy.

“Very hot.”

“I can just totally picture you dancing like a total dork.” I teased, getting up as he put his arms on my shoulder and we began slow dancing.

“Actually, she put her hands… There, and I put my hands down here.” He explained. Moving my hands to his shoulders and his hands down to my hips. “This is how we did it in '88. Just like this. Have you ever been to a dance before?”

“Dances are for nerds and squares.” I teased, making him raise an eyebrow at me again.

“What are you?”

“I don't know.” I shrugged, making him smile softly, resting his head against mine.

“Does it feel like there's something between us?” He says as a joke, referring to my large baby bump that refused to let me any closer. I laughed slightly, though my laugh was short lived when he began speaking again.

“I'm leaving Vanessa.”

I froze. I swear, my entire body locked itself and wouldn’t let me make any move. That is of course, besides shoving Mark away, and staring at him with that same frozen brokenness that was left on my face.

“What?” I asked, my voice breaking as I spoke. I could feel my hands begin to sweet, that funny feeling beginning to fill up my entire being.

“I'm getting a place in the city. Got it planned. Something I've wanted to do for a long time.” Mark explained, and I shove my head.

“No.” I snapped, causing Mark to raise an eyebrow at me.

“No?” He asked, looking slightly taken aback by my response.

“No, you definitely can't do that. That's one big fat sack of no.” I continued to yell, and Mark just stood there staring at me, confused by my outburst. “I mean, you guys are supposed to take care of this, you know?” I said, holding my baby bump protectively.

“I thought you'd be cool with this.” He said, looking me up and down.

“Cool? I want things to be perfect. I don't want them to be shitty and broken like my family.” I continued to yell, making him shake his head angrily.

“Come on…”

“Look, I'll have the baby… And Vanessa's gonna be so happy. You just…” I explained getting up and grabbing my things, making Mark try to stop me by standing in front of me.

“A baby won't fix everything. I don't know if I'm ready to be a father.”

I scoffed.

“But you're old.” I snapped back at him, and he went quiet for a second. He looked down at the ground, then back up at me.

“How do you think of me? You know, why are you over here?” He asked, making me stop a minute. I think it was then that I realized what my dad had meant not too long ago. That people weren’t just friendly, they didn’t have to be friendly. There’s always a motive.

“I just like being a piece of furniture in your weird life.” I explained, and Mark sighed, gesturing to the guitar and comic book mess that was in front of me.

“This? This is what my life has become. You know, I got stuff in boxes. You know, I'm underground.” He explained, making me sigh, rubbing a hand across my face.

“Is this my fault?” I asked, feeling tears begin to prick at my eyes.

“No.”

“Is Vanessa mad at you because of me or something?”

“It's got nothing to do with it. We aren't in love.”

“You were in love when you married her. If you're in love once, you can be in love again.” I explained, waving my hands around, wiping the few stray tears that left my eyes. LLike my brother, he’s been with the same girl like four times, they’re back together again now. You're just not trying hard enough.”

“I can't believe what an idiot I am.” He mumbled, shaking his head as he looked down. I scoffed.

“No, you know what, Mark? Just do not divorce your wife. Will you please just do me a solid and stay with Vanessa?” I asked, causing him to look up at me.

“You're so young.” He said softly, his smile faltering as he did.

“I'm not that young. Okay, I'm 16. I'm old enough to know when someone's acting like a total a-hole. Oh, and you know what? I bought another Sonic Youth album that you recommend and it sucks. It's just noise.” I grumbled, before turning to leave out the door, leaving Mark sitting in his own misery. Just as I was about to leave, Vanessa came in the door.

“Juno? What's going on?” She asked, her eyes filling with worry once seeing my expression.

“Nothing.” I replied quickly, trying to walk past her.

“Why are you crying?” She asked, stopping me again.

“I'm not crying. I'm just allergic to fine home furnishings.”

“Hold on. What's the matter? What's the matter?”

“She's just a little hormonal. Right, Juno? It's part of the process?” Mark said, his voice sounding so foreign to me now. I couldn’t help but glare over at him, Vanessa’s eyes following mine.

“What did you do?”

“I didn't do anything.” Mark replied coldly. “Just...I've been thinking.”

“What?”

“You know, I'm just thinking if this is the right thing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just wondering if it's… just wondering if we're ready.” He continued to talk about his uncertainty, sending painful goosebumps to erupt against my skin.

“Yeah, we're ready. We've read the books, we've taken the classes, we have a nursery that is…”

“Vanessa, I know we're prepared. I'm just wondering if...I'm ready.”

I tried again to walk out, but Vanessa stopped me again, fear showing all over her face.

“Wait a minute. Juno, don't listen to him. He's just got cold feet. He's just being a guy. The books all say a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant. A man becomes a father when he sees his baby. He's gonna get there. He's... he's gonna get there.” She explained, but mark simply kept his act up.

“It happened so fast. We put the ad in the paper… And I thought it would take months, if at all… Then two weeks later, she's on that couch.”

“She answered our prayers.” Vanessa corrected, glaring coldly at her husband.

“Ever since then, it's been like a ticking clock.”

“What are you saying?”

“That it feels a little like bad timing.”

And with that last line from Mark, I was gone. I quickly ran to my car so no one could stop me, getting in and driving. I knew I had to pull over somewhere, I was crying so much I couldn’t even see the road. It didn’t seem to matter to me at that moment. Not seeing just felt refreshing.

—✧

I JUST KEPT DRIVING. I didn’t know where, or how far, I just knew I needed to get away. Something in my instincts brought me here, to the barn. It was pouring rain, and the ground below my feet drowning in rain water, my shoes sinking into the mud as I walked. It seemed my face was soaking wet, whether it be from tears or the rain I wasn’t sure. I just knew I need to be somewhere that isn't on the road.

I pounded hard on the barn door, knowing my brother must have been inside, but he just groaned loudly from the inside.

“Go away Juno.” He yelled to the door. I could hear him strum his guitar behind the door, but I continued to pound on the doors.

“I said go away! My creative juices are flowing.” Stan yelled back, and I rolled my eyes, slamming my arms down harder.

“I don’t care about your juices.” I yelled back, my voice breaking when I did. I could hear shuffling from the other side.

“Are you crying?” He asked, his entire voice changing from his joking tone to normal. And then he opened the door, and in that exact moment when I saw him, I broke down into his arms. His heartbeat picked up speed and he pulled me close to his chest, not knowing the source of my distress.

“Hey, hey hey hey. You’re alright, big brothers got you. You’re okay.” He reassured, running his hands through my hair to comfort me, sighing as he held me tighter.

“It’s so much.” My voice broke again, and he squeezed his eyes shut to keep himself from getting emotional at my expense.

“It’s okay Juno, take some deep breaths okay, what do you need from me, what do you need me to do to make it better?” He asked, pulling away with his hands on my shoulders, looking me up and down to check for any injuries.

“Just-just hold me, please.” My voice came out small and squeaky, and he quickly pulled me back into his embrace.

“That I can do.” He sighed, running his fingers through my wet hair. “I can always do that.”

—✧

[smt-obsessed]

✰MASTERLIST✰

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Hello! I'm a part of a lot of fandoms and I like to write!

Here's my Masterlist of all of the fandoms/characters I'll be writing for, and all of my works and works in progress.

But I write slower than fuck, please bear with me lol.

requests are open ♡

(check out my pinned post for more information.)

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ☆ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

American Horror Story

(I can see this one being the cause of a lot of darkfics, especially Hotel. There will always be a trigger warnings list before anything I write, so please read it if you feel like you might need it.)

Kit Walker

Lana Winters

Cordelia Goode

Madison Montgomery

Misty Day

The Countess

James Patrick March

John Lowe

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Attack On Titan

(I'm gonna be honest; I haven't finished it. But I want to, even though I know the ending! But I've also been wanting to write for them... So please forgive me if they seem a little out of character, it'll get better I promise! I'll also probably be rewatching and getting caught up on it while writing these lol. I'll update y'all!)

Armin Arlert

Connie Springer

Eren Jaeger

Hange Zoë

Jean Kirstein

Levi Ackerman

Mikasa Ackerman

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Criminal Minds

(I had a really bad "Criminal Minds" hyper fixation 2 years ago, but I got out of it before I could finish any of the fics I had set up for them, so I deleted most of them like a year ago 😭)

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Emily Prentiss

Jennifer Jareau

Penelope Garcia

Spencer Reid

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

D.C.

I just recently rewatched the first "Deadpool" movie and remembered how much I love it, so I'll hopefully be writing for him soon, as well as Harley Quinn! I'm also thinking that maybe I'll write about both of them x reader... But I'm not sure, we'll see!

Harley Quinn

Wade Wilson / Deadpool

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Jujustu Kaisen

So I haven't watched the second season 🙈 I was really liking it! but, in all honesty-

⚠SPOILERS⚠

I got spoiled on pretty much everything and I just could not continue on, knowing almost all of them were gonna die 😭.

Gojo Satoru

Megumi Fushiguro

Nanami Kento

Nobara Kugisaki

Yuji Itadori

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Life is Strange

(Fun fact! I've never played this myself, I've just watched Jacksepticeye play it a lot, lolol. ♡ I'll probably add Rachel and Sean to this list but I definitely need to re-watch those two first.)

Chloe Price

Max Caulfield

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

My Hero Academia

(This is the first place I tried to shift too (iykyk), It never happened- but I might try again soon!)

Denki Kaminari

Eijiro Kirishima

Iiada Tenya

Izuku Midoriya

JiTn BuWbaIigaCwaEra

Katsuki Bakugo

Kyoka Jiro

Momo Yaoyorozu

Shoto Todoroki

Tamaki Amajiki

Toya Todoroki

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Ouran High School Host Club

(My comfort anime. it's problematic but so good.)

Haruhi Fujioka

Hikaru Hitachiin

Kaoru Hitachiin

Kyoya Ootori

Takashi Morinozuka

Tamaki Suoh

Mitskuni Haninozuka

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Spy X Family

(I love this show, I haven't finished it yet- but that's only because I'm waiting for the second part of the second season to be dubbed on Hulu!)

Loid Forger

Yor Forger

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

The Sturniolo Triplets

(I'm hyper-fixating on Matt at the moment, so I'm really sorry if I'm slow at writing for literally anyone else. 😭)

Chris Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo

Nick Sturniolo

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

The Umbrella Academy

(I absolutely love this show, I'm happy to talk about it with whoever wants to!)

Allison Hargreeves

Ben Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

Five Hargreeves

Klaus Hargreeves

Lila Pitts

Luther Hargreeves

Viktor Hargreeves

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

The Walking Dead

(This is probably my favorite show ever; I've been watching it from the very start. Talk with me about it in my asks or messages!)

Beth Greene

Daryl Dixon

Glenn Rhee

Maggie Rhee

Michonne

Negan Smith

Rick Grimes

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ☆ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

And that's it!

(for now at least)

I would like to restate what I said at the top of this post; I really do want to write. I love thinking of ideas, planning it out and writing it!

But I'm very indecisive person as well as a perfectionist and so honestly, I'm just very slow at it. 😅

I promise I'll try to post as often as I can though.

I love y'all! Ttyl. ♡

[lunawings]

Animaniacs in Concert, 2/17/24 in Bristol, CT

Or, the story of how I ran into Rob Paulsen and immediately threw up.

Not on him, thankfully.

Where to begin? From the beginning, I guess.

I talk a lot about Japanese voice actors on this blog and I have almost no thoughts about American anime dub voice actors (no offense, I just don't know their work). However, if you asked me my favorite American cartoon voice actor, it's Rob Paulsen. I knew his voice before I even knew he existed, and if you ask me, he's one of the most recognizable male voice actors in Saturday morning cartoons.

He's probably most known as being Yakko on Animaniacs, and "half the Ninja Turtles" as he puts it. ("Maybe if I live to 102 I can voice all of them!") I also personally really liked him in The Mask cartoon, I think it's some of his best work. (Even though he was doing Jim Carey, he kind of wasn't at the same time. He made it his own.) But even beyond his leading roles, he just seems to pop up all sorts of places, and it always makes my day when I recognize him as additional voices.

While Japanese voice actors are often young and excessively beautiful people you're supposed to swoon over, 80s/90s American cartoon voice actors aren't... quite... the same. And yet. I sorta do, in a weird way. I mean I've known Rob Paulsen's voice for as long as my brain has been making memories and that's a pretty huge impact on a person. A few years back, I stumbled upon a few videos of him on YouTube attending cons performing Yakko's World and such, and I just loved his personality and energy so much. So, I added seeing him perform someday to my mental list of goals to accomplish if I ever returned to the US.

Fast forward again to the 2020s, the Animaniacs revival comes out on Hulu (I don't care what anyone says I freakin loved it) and I hear he's touring again with Animaniacs in Concert. I looked up the dates and none of them were remotely near me. As I checked back one day, mourning the possible missed opportunity and debating how far I might go, a new show popped up in Bristol, CT. How random, I thought. I checked if it was doable for me, and it was! It wasn't feasible as a day trip, but still doable. And once I saw there was one FRONT ROW SEAT LEFT, the deal was sealed as I quickly bought the ticket and reserved a room at the only hotel I could find in the area, the Bristol Double Tree.

Fast forward to yesterday. I arrived in Bristol just after noon following an uber and FOUR different buses. I'd woken up way too early, I was hungry and tired, and not feeling too great. I decided food would be my first plan of action, and since I didn't quite understand how to order room service (the menu wasn't loading on my phone anyway) and there wasn't anything within walking distance, I decided to just head downstairs and eat at the hotel restaurant/bar.

As I was waiting for my impossible burger and fries, I decided to take off the Yakko's World hoodie I'd been wearing.

I bought it specifically to wear to the show, and I'd already spilled a little coffee on it this morning and didn't want to risk having to wash it again. So I tucked it behind me in the booth.

Shortly after that, another group walked in and sat at the table next to me. An older guy and some ladies. I wasn't paying much attention to them as I thought they were maybe a part of the wedding party I heard was at the hotel. My food came and I focused on that.

But then someone else walked in and joined them. Someone I very much DID recognize. "Oh there you are!" "Hi, I'm Rob!"

The next moment is kind of a blur so I'm not exactly sure whether I jumped a little or if I did the dramatic eyes widen slow turn, but I definitely had some kind of a visible reaction as I looked over to the table. It was then that I locked eyes with who at that moment I first realized was Maurice Lamarche, voice of Brain (from Pinky and the Brain) and many MANY Futurama characters (more than I realized as I learned later). He was the older man I mentioned earlier, and had been sitting there the entire time. And at that moment I thought perhaps he knew everything. (Both the fact that I recognized the new person who had just walked in, and the fact that I hadn't recognized Maurice himself until now.)

So I'm pretty sure I have at least mild prosopagnosia (face blindness) so it is hard for me to recognize people right away.

But there was something I could never fail to recognize, and that was the voice of Rob Paulsen, who was the person who had just walked into the room and joined the table with Maurice.

I'm not sure how they knew the women they were dining with, but they were all catching up, asking them if they were going to the show, etc. I listened a bit as Rob happily talked to them about the impact of the show and its fans. Such as how devoted fans would actually fly in to see them and how the average age of the audience was about 40 (hah ha... not yet but I'm getting there). He even mentioned Tress MacNeille at one point! Maurice was right in my view, but Rob was at an angle where I couldn't see him without turning my head but oh lord it was definitely him.

I had no idea what to do at this point. Do I say something? Do I not? Would it be terrible to just say hi and that I'm looking forward to the show??

I've been to a lot of events with voice actors in the past, especially in Japan, but I still just... cannot handle meeting famous people that I admire. Actually seeing them up close is intense enough, but actually TALKING to them? I don't know how anyone can do it.

I'm reminded of Amari in Idol Land PriPara, that episode where she meets Hibiki...

Yeah, basically me. For the people who visualize in their head while they are reading something, just replace whatever you imagine I look like with Amari and this story will fit very well.

All while this is all racing through my mind, I'm still shoveling french fries into my mouth while trying (and probably failing) to stay calm and act normal (even though I'm pretty sure Maurice is onto me) and I soon realize I've got a couple fries stuck in my throat (as often happens when I'm eating without paying attention, as I'm a very fast eater). I exaggerated a little in my previous post when I said I was choking, but it was hard to swallow and I realized I'd have to sneak off to the bathroom to deal with it without causing any more of a scene. I basically threw my credit card on the table and ran, though (which was dumb in hindsight, but I didn't want anyone to think I was dine-dashing).

In the end, after I came back, I decided to just quietly pay the bill and leave without saying anything, scrunching and hiding my Yakko hoodie the best I could. I didn't want to interrupt them during their private time, and for that reason I didn't try to take any photos or videos either. So I have no proof that this happened but it very much did.

And it made sense, I realized later. I already knew that the Double Tree in Bristol was literally the only hotel in the area, where else would they be!!?

After leaving the table I was so worked up I basically walked straight out of the hotel because I didn't know what else to do and headed to the Carosel Museum of New England where I killed at least two whole hours sitting on a bench looking at intricately carved 100+ year old wooden animals while nursing my exhaustion and caffeine cravings. (The museum isn't that big, I just literally did not know what else to do with myself.)

But I learned that most carousel horses are only decorated on the side that faces the customers. And since they were all hand-carved back then, the opposite side would often be carved by a less experienced carver in training or something. ISN'T THAT NEAT?

I thought that was neat.

Anyway.

Eventually I downed an energy drink I bought from a convenience store as I went on my way to the venue of the show.

I was still super early since I ran out of the hotel super early but there was already a crowd gathered outside. At first I didn't know this was the reason people had gathered, but the first 40 people to line up were eligible to sign up for a "meet-and-greet" with everyone after the show. And when I reached the front of the line, it was still open.

"Sure?" I said, not really fully understanding what I was signing up for. And so I headed inside.

The show opened with Yakko's Universe (SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG) and of course closed with Yakko's World as the finale. What came in between was quite random. Despite not being an actual cast member, the real star of the show was composer Randy Rogel. Rob of course voiced Yakko and his other characters, and Randy voiced... almost everyone else haha. Just using his own voice most of the time, but still. He sang as Dot a lot.

And it seemed like he picked the songs they played not necessarily by what songs were popular, but by what songs he and Rob had stories to talk about. For example, they did a bunch of songs from the failed show Histeria when Rob literally broke into tears (he was acting) while talking about how Randy had to actually, physically, go to a library to research the topics he was writing about back in those days. Randy also played an alternate version of the song LA DOT that had sat untouched in a folder for decades.

Rob's voice doesn't sound quite the same as it used to, as anyone who has seen the 2020 Animaniacs series would know, but he can still do it all! And considering he survived throat cancer, and came back to not only work again but sing live!? He sounds amazing!

Maurice Lamarche was also of course a part of the show, and although he only "sang" one song as Brain, his interactions in character as Brain with Rob as Pinky were probably the highlight of the whole show. (They did a whole "Who's on First" sketch talking about what countries to conquer, with Pinky misunderstanding "Hungary", "Turkey" and "Chili".)

Maurice also did a showcase of his voice, including so many other Animaniacs and Futurama characters I had no idea were him, not to mention frikkin Toucan Sam and the narrator of Lexus commercials.

The only thing that disappointed me a little about the show, was they didn't really do anything from the 2020 series, but I guess Randy wasn't as involved with the music in that. So, oh well.

I didn't take many photos/videos during the show, since I wasn't fully sure of the etiquette (still kinda have my Japan brain for these sort of things) and since I was in the front row I wanted to give them my full attention. I think there are plenty of videos online anyway, since at least one segment was one I'd already seen before.

So, after the show ended, people began to line up for the meet-and-greet, and it was then that I fully understood what I had gotten myself into.

Each of us would get about a minute to talk with them individually, get their signature, and get a picture if we wanted. I was really kicking myself for not bringing anything to sign! I really had no idea it would actually be an option! (In the days leading up to the show I had been looking at Rob's website where I noticed he normally charges $60 for an autograph, so I didn't think he would do it for free.)

But more importantly, I realized I was going to have to actually face them. TALK TO THEM. The exact thing I had run away from earlier in the day.

And again, I considered just running away. But I had taken a spot on that list. A spot that could have gone to someone else and it was too late to give away now. So, I told myself, I had to see this through. No matter what.

As the line inched closer I panicked over whether they would recognize me from the hotel or not as I rehearsed in my head over and over again all the things I could say. I was honestly juggling between two or three entire scripts by the time it was finally my turn and when realized... after all that...

I did not need to say anything.

Rob saw my hoodie ("It's me!") so he knew I was there for him, and he knew I was nervous. So he did all the talking. (After all, that is his job. Literally!) He took my hand and complimented my hoodie, my hair, and everything. He said so many nice things about me (I even got a "Hellooooo nurse!") and even broke the ice by introducing me to "his friend the Brain" so I got to shake hands with Maurice as well. (I STILL THINK HE KNEW. So I felt a little awkward then but other than that) it was just such a wonderful interaction. Rob was so nice and kind and I got the impression he really, really cares about his fans.

So I missed out on the autograph, but I did get a picture, and I left the entire experience feeling so warm and fuzzy and oddly complete. Childhood dream achieved.

It took me another four busses and an uber to get home today (I left around 8am, walked into my door after 4...) but it was all very worth it.

I'm mostly at peace with how things turned out, but if I ever get the chance to see them again, at a Comicon or whatever, I'll be sure to bring a Futurama DVD boxset for Maurice to sign and maybe try to acquire an old Animanics or Mask the Animated Series VHS for Rob!

You know, it's pretty ridiculous how easy it is to meet and get signatures from famous voice actors in this country. That almost never happens in Japan. I mean, I'm planning to go to an actual Love Live concert in Japan next month, and here I am oddly depressed I can't fly out to Seattle to see Chiemi and Coco at Sakura-con instead because I might get to actually meet MEET them there haha.

Even though it would be another disaster if I actually did.

Hahah...