Tumgik
#I abuse tumblr hashtags
drykoolaid · 6 days
Text
Tumblr media
They r watching wall-e
Kinda forgot to feed you guys for a while until I shitposted WHICG SOMEHOW GOT 1,000 LIKES TF??? Anyways my work has been screwing me over butttt I thought I’d post on a full moon n shit bc that’s sick asf
Uhhhh bye
179 notes · View notes
yinichigo · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
The Splat match ACTUALLY went well!!!
Pt.2 Of "Results", Splatoon fanart
35 notes · View notes
svampira · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
how to say the rosary
68 notes · View notes
Text
lord the way i can write in circles about Alear and the visceral experience of [redacted]
(or, the wordbarf of “I am very unhinged about Alear how dare you assume im normal” ft. copious spoilers for like. chp 21 onward because I need tumblr to know I’ve already said most of this on twitter to some extent)
he finally got to experience love and how he finally started recovering from his trauma and how he was at his desperate, frantic wit’s end probably when he first struck sombron down how he probably felt cornered and would rather risk his life and everything else to simply be free of his father how he went in without an emblem and all alone and likely not telling Lumera the full plan probably terrified if he would come out alive 1v1-ing sombron with nothing but fuck it he would rather fight for a chance to live in peace than wait for his dad to find out how “defective” he is and dispose of him like so many siblings and lumera was probably going to stop him because it’s crazy it’s stupid it’s risky it’s not worth it she loves him and promises one day it will end don’t be rash and please hold on but!!!!!! god damn does someone have to try and he is tired of waiting for the chance to get better he cannot fucking take it anymore!!!!! he can’t sit there and wait and worry and be strong he has a sister out there who is at risk every second they carry on their little hidden charade! 
How PAINFUL it is to finally receive kindness and be forced to realize all these scars and all these days spent walking on eggshells is for NOTHING for even what had been kindness before pales in comparison how WOUNDED to realize how damaged you are simply trying to survive and how unfair it all must feel when kindness and love was simply that easy to choose and yet knowing your father would never, EVER be kind.
and contrary to having a gentle and honorable nature that only carried out sombron’s will to survive, coerced into such violence and desolation, the nature that is stilted and a thoughtless machine so he, too, does not join the ranks of failure, the nature that the hero king himself recalls as “You were kind, as you are now.”, despite that gentle, gentle core that somehow survived he has such malice for his father there is no mercy there is no kindness dare I say he- with only a little conflict and concern -relishes the opportunity to personally do his father in because after years of abuse and trauma there is finally catharsis and it pours from him like he is finally vomiting and coughing up the vile dregs of the poison in his system
finally hope that is so disgustingly blinding right in front of him and how he was SO CLOSE he was SO CLOSE to walking away from this he was sick and giddy and the thought that he was going to get away and be free and live happily with his mother and go find veyle and be SAFE and HAPPY FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE and then ITS JUST. TAKEN. IN A SINGLE MOMENT.
how even saying himself the war is over and they don’t have to worry still accepting that he’s a Fell Dragon this is just WHAT HAPPENS as if he is not sitting there dying, struggling to breathe, having just ended a war that nearly wiped out the Divine Dragons, no doubt caused terror across the land, HAVING DONE A GENUINELY OBJECTIVELY GOOD THING THAT HE HIMSELF RECOGNIZED and still saying that Fell Dragons die in the end. how he is no better than the father laying only feet away who treated his children like tools and only spoke his name once when he was born. Lumera says he’ll just sleep and he’ll wake up and it will be fine and how he so subtly doubts that and still speaks as if this is his last chance, simply speculating how, if he does wake up, he wants to be like her AS IF HE ISN’T ALREADY FOR. YOU KNOW. ENDING THE WAR AND SLAYING THE PROBLEM DRAGON.
the way i pull at my hair and scream at the top of my lungs over how AWFUL alear had it and how VINDICATING it is to see him grow and love and rage and scream and cry and find his own way anD KILL HIS OWN SHITTY DAD WITH A LASERBEAM OF LOVE AND ALL THE FRIENDS HE’S MADE AND GETS TO BE DRAGON JESUS HAPPILY EVER AFTER
#katie rambles#alear#fe 17#fe engage#fe17 spoilers#engage spoilers#spoilers#tw vomit#tw abuse#im sorry i get a little gross and visceral with the descriptions and metaphors if only because GOD THIS SITUATION SUCKED#I REMEMBERED TUMBLR HAS DECENT TAGGING WITHOUT COSTING SPACE#HAHAHAHAHA I CAN GO OFF WITHOUT FEARING ACCIDENTALLY SPOILING MY FRIENDS#ANYWAYS THIS IS LIKE. 90% OF MY ALEAR BRAINROT IM SO PROUD OF HIM AND SO WORRIED#like idk i think so much about That One Flashback#and i'm pretty sure the hashtag patricide moment was alear on his last fucking braincell going 'that's it im done im through'#because he knows how his father works and would anyone want to wait knowing death is coming when love and peace is right there.#right at his fingertips. so close. so god damn close it HURTS#so yeah i think alear was having the mental breakdown of the god damn century going after his dad alone#i think he felt very. VERY cornered in his options and went 'fuck it we ball'#because if most of his options involved waiting and risking death might as well take the risk#why wait to get called defective and fed to the corrupted and why keep crawling back for long. nice talks with the growing risk#i think it is an awful emotional barf of all his pain and fear and rage and glimmering above it all hope that he could reach out and take#a hope that is SO VERY CRUELLY TAKEN AT THE LAST GOD DAMN MOMENT#i'll admit a lot of my own interpretation in here but like AUGH.#Alear I love you alear alear best lord ever#i've always been thinking about this in some capacity since I learned i have not known rest going on 3 mnths
20 notes · View notes
alexicollins · 2 months
Text
"Vulnerability" by Alexi Collins
Feb/25/'24
In the echoes of my upbringing, I was taught to steel my heart, to suppress the tears that threatened to spill, to embrace stoicism in the face of hardships.
"Suck it up," they snapped, as if tears were a sign of weakness rather than a tribute to resilience.
Yet, amidst the thorns of adversity, I discovered the haunting beauty of pain, the crimson slashes against the canvas of my heart bore witness to the depth of my humanity, each scar a testament to the resilience of my spirit.
In my moments of deepest anguish, I discovered a beauty that transcended the confines of suffering, a beauty that lay in the courage to remain open despite the wounds inflicted.
I unearthed glimmers of profound beauty, delicate petals blooming alongside the wreckage.
As I gazed upon those who had heeded the call to harden their hearts, I saw the cost of such fortification.
I realized that to harden oneself would be to deny the very essence of being alive; this exquisite dance of light and shadow, the tender connections that bind us to one another.
For what is lost when the heart grows cold?
The symphony fades to silence, the colors of life muted into grayscale, and the beauty of existence dims beneath the weight of indifference.
So, despite the echoes of admonishment, of being named sensitive and weak, I choose to embrace the tumultuous symphony of my soul, to stand unguarded amidst the storm, to feel each pelt of rain against my bruised skin, for even in the midst of pain, there lies a beauty that transcends all bounds.
0 notes
jackitk · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
Happy Overseer October. I'm planning on starting a thing on Youtube where I just make random posts on my OC throughout the month. Started just doing community posts on Youtube, so I decided to do the same thing here.
So don't mind the possible reposting along the way, but I want to spend as many days this month as possible just blabbing about my OCs so even though mostly all of this will be repeat art, I'll have new things to talk about along the way...
This is a drawing of one of the party members, Sole, comforting the Sol Spirits of each element.
Hoping to get around to going into more details of the party characters and Sol Spirits in future shorts, but I'll share a little more detail now. Sol Spirits are a series of creatures that the party collects throughout the adventure, with each one here focusing on a different one of the four main elements in the world. They tend to bond with Mentalist, the wielders of elemental powers in this world, rather than merely being collected and used for stat building.
You see it a lot in the beginning of the adventure as Sol Spirits the party begins with or encounter early on in the game often have story beats that tie into their encounters with the main party. Such as the starting fire Spirit, Charcoal essentially being a long-time pet of one of the main characters, or how many early game spirits are directly saved from the main villain group. Tons of brainstorming went into conceptualizing the designs for each one, but perhaps that's a story I'll go more into another time.
1 note · View note
ichorai · 7 months
Text
hell, yeah ; roman roy ; part three (m).
Tumblr media
pairing ; roman roy x f!reader
synopsis ; pain was an old friend for the both of you.
words ; 14.4k
themes ; fluff, angst, drama, slowburn, suggestive, childhood friends to lovers
warnings / includes ; depictions of mental and physical abuse, talks of sexual misconduct (cruises incidents), mentions of death, a lot of sexual/suicidal jokes and general foul language, a lot of business talk, roman’s implied demisexuality, kendall is Losing it this chappie, fucked up family dynamics, imaginary dead cats & real dead sisters <3
a/n ; tumblr is being a bitch and not letting me turn off beta editor so :) what was originally going to be one massive chapter of s3 is now going to be broken down in shorter pieces!
series masterlist. main masterlist.
Tumblr media
“Logan Roy was personally and fully aware of the crimes committed aboard Brightstar Cruises,” said the news reporter. “Kendall Roy says his father paid millions of dollars to hide and cover up criminal activity at the cruise line.”
You shut the tablet off, pinching the space between your brows as you drew out a deep exhale. 
“This is fucking insane,” Roman muttered under his breath as he scrolled through Twitter, under his brother’s trending hashtag. “He’s gone off the rocks.”
Leaning forward, you asked the twins, “You guys don’t think he’s telling the truth, right?”
Rome shot you a quizzical glance. “Kendall doesn’t know how to tell the truth. It’s against his biological nature.” After a moment, he let out a high-pitched, “But…”
“What?” asked Shiv.
“I may not be team Kenny here, but, uh… Dad isn’t exactly unsqueezable right now,” he said. His eyes met yours. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering if Kendall just fucked us over. Again. I mean, obviously I didn’t want him to be the scapegoat for cruises but this is—this is just something else entirely.” Then you nudged Shiv. “What about you?”
The woman screwed her lips into a purse. “I’m thinking we just need to back Dad right now. But… what am I actually thinking?” She lowered her voice to a whisper you could only barely hear. “I’m thinking, ‘Is he toast?’”
Her brows pulled together, wondering if she should’ve divulged that information to either of you. 
“Yeah,” you said, clearing your throat. “I think there might be a chance that he could be burnt.”
The three of you stood in silence. Roman closed the stupid bird app before he could see another edit of his brother to a Lana Del Rey song, and slid his phone into his pocket. 
It was then that Hugo and Gerri strode up, expressions grim. A Kendall-shaped bomb was dropped on them, and they were all scrambling to get things together whilst Logan stared angrily out of a window.
“Hi. Listen, I’m drowning in calls,” said Hugo. “I just want to deny, you know, any kind of speculation. So, uh, I’m just checking—we’re all good if I say, for a starter, that he never hurt anyone and he never touched anyone personally?”
Roman scowled, as if it was a ludicrous question to even take into consideration, and Gerri answered on everybody’s behalf. “You can reassure on that, Hugo.”
A second later, Logan’s voice rang out from across the room. “Did you know?” he asked. “Connor? Roman? Shiv? Did you know?”
Apprehensive, the siblings crept closer to their father, who still had his back turned to them. You crossed your arms and listened on from behind Roman.
“Did you know he was going to do that?” he queried once they were all close by. “I was wondering.”
“Obviously not, dad,” Rome said.
A muscle in Logan’s jaw twitched. “Uh-huh.”
Roman scratched at the back of his head. “Kendall’s mentally ill. He’s insane.” He needs help, he wanted to say, but wisely bit down on his tongue before it could slip.
There was a long moment of silence. Shiv eyes darted from her father to her husband. 
Finally, Logan turned to face his children. “Everyone. Gather up! Battle stations—let’s go.”
The small group rounded around a table with Logan at the very head. It was Gerri who started with a proposal, all heads turned to listen to her.
“I suggest I call the DOJ, and we right away let them know how horrified we were to learn of these allegations. We can tell them we intend to form a special committee and we can inform them which white shoe law firms we are considering to thoroughly investigate and promptly report back their findings,” said the woman.
Shiv watched her godmother with mild unease. She was a woman to look up to, she was competition, she was better than anyone else here, and she was an accomplice. Then, her eyes darted to you, your fingers silently drumming along the table’s surface. There was no doubt Logan would be forced to announce his successor soon. Would you be competition for the throne, as well? You’d certainly make for a formidable CEO.
“Do we cooperate?” asked Logan.
There was a brief moment of puzzled silence.
Gerri’s brows furrowed as she replied, “With the government? Uh, yeah. I think we’re gonna have to cooperate. I mean, we were under pressure already—”
“Unless we don’t,” Roman cut in.
“That’s ridiculous. Not cooperating would be like shining the fucking spotlight right onto us. This is a public company—we tanked privatization in Turkey,” you vehemently protested.
To that, Gerri agreed. “We don’t know what they have or what they might get. There’s only one real play here.”
“What if I don’t want to pull down my panties so fast?” grumbled Logan.
“Then we pull up the draw-bridge. The story would be that he’s exploiting these poor women—and that’s very sad. Twitter would tear him apart. You were grooming him for the top and, wow, would you look at that? He relapsed, and he blew it,” Roman said. Both you and Shiv exchanged worried, distasteful glances. “He’s a bitter fuck-up that needs to be psychiatrically evaluated. Of course, you’re the big baddie, so everybody jumped on board.”
Brows cinching, Shiv asked, “What about these papers he says he has?”
“Uh… fake. Or stolen, if they even exist. Are we even worried about these papers? We’ll go after him for corporate theft, then,” he spouted off. “This is—you know—not a nice thing to say about your son, but maybe chop him up into a million pieces and throw him into the Hudson? 
You destroy Kendall, it falls apart.”
It was strange to think, just twenty-four hours ago, the two brothers were quite amicable with each other. As brotherly as people like them could be, at least. Now they were on opposite sides of the chessboard, waiting for the play.
Frank and Karl started listing off a couple stats, and Shiv sat forward in her seat.
“Kendall’s changed the game,” she said. “Noncooperation now, it wouldn’t—it’s just too hot out there. I think it’s very high risk.”
“Everything’s high risk if you’re a pussy,” Roman said, picking at his nails.
You frowned. “If we don’t cooperate, it’ll just make us look all the more guilty.”
And what if we are? The brief thought crossed your mind. What if everything Kendall said was true?
“If I stop picking at scabs and saying sorry, who knows where we’ll end up. Admissions of wrongdoing—that’s billions out the door,” Logan said. 
His words made your expression falter just a little bit. 
“Get the raisin,” your godfather told Hugo, referring to the American president. “Let’s go to the top.”
Tumblr media
The planes heading back to New York were readied soon after. Just as you stepped out of the car that took you to the tarmac, your phone began to buzz in your pocket. To your relief, Roman was busy chattering to Gerri, and you were able to step away from the group to pull your phone out.
Kendall’s contact name stared right back up at you. You sucked at your teeth in thought, before swiftly answering.
“Hello?”
He sang your name then, in a pitch too high for his caliber. 
“What do you want?”
“What do I want?” he parroted. “I want you in, Y/N. You’ve got a premium spot right by my side, in the new company I’m going to build. You’re the glue, dude. You are.”
A shifty glance back at Roman and Shiv, Logan and Gerri. You took a few steps closer to the plane. 
“Is it true?”
“What?”
“What you said on TV. That Logan knew about cruises and paid it off.”
A brief pause.
“Obviously,” he said. “Obviously it’s true. I’d never lie to you, Y/N. You’re like—you’re like a sister to me, you know?”
“Have you called Shiv? Offered her a place, too? Roman?”
A longer silence. 
“No,” he finally said.
It was a lie, you knew it clear as day. But you didn’t know exactly which part of it was a lie.
“I can’t trust you,” you murmured into the phone, shifting the device in your palms. Roman’s eyes were now on you. He waved, and you waved back, shooting him a thumbs up when he gestured to the plane. “You understand that, right? I can’t trust you, as much as I want to.”
Before he could respond, you abruptly hung up, and quickly shoved your phone back into your pocket to jog to the rest of the group.
“Who were you talking to?” Roman asked once you caught up with him, mildly suspicious.
“Karolina,” you quickly lied. “She wanted to know what the play was.”
“Mmh. Right.” He nudged his shoulder into yours. “We’ll be okay.”
“I’m not so sure.”
Roman’s eyes searched yours, but you averted them when his dad approached the group. His sunglasses were perched high on the bridge of his nose—you could see your worried reflection in them. He asked for a lawyer: a good one, preferably a woman.
Lisa came to mind, one of the most reputable lawyers in the country, conveniently a friend of Shiv’s. 
“Shiv, Roman, Gerri, Y/N—you’ll all go back to manage New York,” said your godfather. “No need for me to go running back like a slapped girl. Looks weak.”
Pursing your lips, you offered him a nod. “We’ll take care of it.”
“Good,” he said, patting your cheek affectionately. Once, then twice, then his hand fell back down to his side. He used to do that when you were a young child, sporting pigtails and scraped knees. “Good.”
Then, he ruffled Roman’s hair. “Fuck off down there, Tumbledown Dick.”
And with that, the two of you, along with Shiv and Gerri, boarded the plane.
Tumblr media
“As I step back temporarily…” began Logan, surveying Karl, Frank, Hugo, and Tom in front of him, “who do we like as CEO?”
They stared at him blankly. 
“I don’t give a fuck,” Logan huffed in exasperation. “It’s name plates. Come on! Brain dump. Speak, and let a hundred flowers bloom.”
Unsurprisingly, Frank and Karl didn’t hesitate to offer themselves up first. Tom watched the older men apprehensively. The two were quick to be pushed to the side, and Logan snapped his fingers.
“Who else?”
“I mean, I imagine you’re looking at a kid. Or Gerri,” said Frank. 
“Yeah. Yes. I’d like a kid, obviously. So—Shiv or Roman. But we’d love a woman. So, Shiv or Gerri. But I’d like experience. Which would be Roman or Gerri.”
Leaning forward in his seat, Hugo cleared his throat. “Well, there’s one obvious person who’s got all three of those. Y/N, she’s young, she’s a woman, and she’s experienced. A perfect candidate.”
Silence stretched thin between the men. Logan tilted his head in thought. Tom quietly excused himself to run to the bathroom.
On the plane heading to New York, Shiv’s phone began to ring, and she excused herself to the back where neither you, Roman, or Gerri could hear her. Gerri pushed her glasses further up her nose as she studied a text message on her phone. Silent, she gestured to the two of you to take a look. 
A message from Frank. They were picking a new CEO, right then and there.
When Shiv came back quiet as a mouse, Roman started up a bitchy catfight with his sister for not sharing with the group.
“How come Frank called you and how come you told them?” Shiv asked her godmother. 
Gerri shrugged. “I’m just a very straightforward person, Shiv.”
“What’d you hear?”
She glanced at her phone once more. “Just that there’s a number of names in contention.”
“All of us, probably,” you said with a mild grimace.
Roman slung his arm over your shoulders, jostling you ever so slightly. “Care to make it interesting? Throw a bit of money on the table?”
“I’m already pretty fuckin’ interested,” Shiv replied, nose wrinkling. “I think I’m good.” With that, she turned to her side to look out the window.
Drawing in a shallow breath, you loosely intertwined your hand with Roman’s. “You think you’d be ready to take on the mantle if you got the job?” you quietly asked him.
“Fuck, yeah. It should be me, right? I’m the most logical option.”
You stared at him for a moment, wondering how much of what he’d just said was utter bullshit. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
Roman tapped your nose twice and you fixed him with an exasperated look. “Like you don’t agree with me. But you do, right?”
“I don’t know, Ro. I don’t think what Kendall pulled means you should suddenly be crowned king,” you muttered. “I don’t think any of us should.”
Tumblr media
When you eventually passed out beside Roman, your legs thrown over his, he waved a hand in front of your face, just making sure you were actually asleep. As gently as he could, Roman slid away from your legs to get up and set them back down on his seat. He bent at the waist to kiss your forehead and you murmured something in your sleep, but thankfully didn’t stir anymore than that.
He made a bee-line for the plane’s bathroom, locking the door behind him.
Then, he called his father.
“Oh, Romulus,” Logan’s voice buzzed through once he answered after the second ring.
“Hiya, Dad. Can I just—can I speak to you for a moment? You free?”
“Sure.”
Roman leaned his weight against the sink. “Well, um, it’s already getting out what you’re thinking about so… I just wanted to throw a couple things in the ol’ lobster pot.” 
“Mhm.”
Squinting at his warped reflection, Roman said, “I think it should be me. It’s my time. I can do it, I want it, and I think I can pull it off.”
A long silence. 
Roman scratched at the back of his head, a bout of nerves suddenly scratching within his chest. “Uhm, yeah, I think it should be me. But… if you don’t think I’m ready, which, uh, totally valid, I would completely understand, and I’m not saying I’d agree with that, but, you know—maybe it could be Y/N. She’s… she’s a good, fresh face for the company. She’s good at this shit. All the corporate managing shit. And if—if she doesn’t work, Gerri is a prime contender, too. A couple years under her, then maybe… maybe it could be me.” He cleared his throat and drummed his fingers along the faucet. “And, listen, I know you’ve been sweet on Shiv. I love her like a brother, seriously, but I just don’t think that it’s time for her, you know? For whatever reason it ain’t Romey time, then, uh… maybe it’s crony time.” 
He winced. 
“Mmhm,” was all Logan said.
“I hope I haven’t, uh, overstepped here.”
On the other end of the line, Logan smiled. “Nope. Thank you, son.”
“Okay. Alright. I’d love it, but, uh, you know, I’d understand if—I do want it, though. No hard feelings if, uh…” He was rambling. Logan never liked it when he did that. One time when he was thirteen, Logan gripped his cheeks so tightly that it ached and snarled out a warning that if he heard another uhm come out of him, he’d toss him to the fucking wolves. Good times. “Yeah. Love you, Dad. Bye.”
“Uh-uh,” Logan said, and hung up first. He locked eyes with Frank. “Roman’s out.”
Tumblr media
When the plane landed, Shiv got a call from Logan.
“What?” asked Roman. “What’d he say?”
“He wants me to go get Lisa to be his lawyer,” she said. “He told me to tell you guys to wait airport adjacent, though. He might need someone to fly to Boston for investors.”
You frowned. “Fuck. I thought I’d be able to go home for a bit.”
Shiv arched a brow. “You’re more than welcome to. But, you know, Dad wouldn’t like that very much.”
That kept the rest of your complaints quiet.
Once the four of you disembarked the plane, Shiv took a car to head after Lisa, and the three of you were taken to a fancy hotel nearby. 
Gerri got her own room right beside yours, and she told you to shoot her a message if anything of importance came up. You gave her a half-hearted smile and a nod. You were rooting for her, really.
Roman took a step in the direction of your room despite having his own across the hall, shooting Gerri a smirk and a salute before she could make her way in. “If you hear the bed rocking through the walls, that’s us having wild, passionate sex. Feel free to drop in if you want.”
Rolling her eyes, Gerri shut the door in Roman’s face.
The hotel was large and spacious, and you were quick to shed your outer layers, sinking onto the bed with a groan. 
“I miss home,” you said when Roman kicked off his shoes and loosened his tie. “I’ve been held hostage in a different country and then stuck on a fucking yacht with the most dysfunctional family for way too long. I wanna go home.”
He laid down beside you. He couldn’t really understand how you were feeling. His house was mostly empty and lacked any true life. It didn’t actually feel like his home.
“Yeah, I’m fucking exhausted.” he said nonetheless. Then he tugged you closer and pressed his nose against the side of your head. “But I’m not too tired, if you catch my drift.”
“I’m not having sex with you in a random hotel with Gerri next door,” you deadpanned, though there was a slight laugh to your voice.
Roman snapped his fingers. “Would you prefer to have her here, watching? You little sicko.”
Finally, you laughed, and shoved him away. “I’m tired, Ro. I’m gonna go take a shower and knock out.”
“Hm. Can I join?”
“You tell me,” you said, knowing that Roman wasn’t ready for that just yet.
The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds. Roman shrugged. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
You kissed his cheek quickly, before pushing off of the bed. 
A steamy shower later, you stepped out of the bathroom in the comfier clothes you made sure to pack. Roman sidled past you to wash himself up next, but not without pinching your side on the way. He shut the door and locked it before you could retaliate.
You waited until you heard the spray of the shower start up. 
Only then did you grab your phone, dialing Logan’s number. You hoped he was still awake. 
To your relief, he picked up after the third ring.
“Hi, Uncle Logan.”
“Hello, dear. You and Romulus are doing well in the hotel, I hope?”
You sat down on the edge of the bed. “Yeah! Yes, he’s just in the shower right now. So, I just wanted to clarify some things.”
“Go on.”
It felt as if there was a heavy weight on your chest. “I just… I know that you’re in the middle of picking a new CEO, and I know I probably look like a pretty good option to get the company out of hot water right now. But…” You exhaled softly. “I love you, Uncle Logan, but I don’t love this company. And I—I just don’t want to be the face of it.”
You drew your knees up to your abdomen and wrapped an arm around them. 
“Mhm,” Logan said.
“I hope that doesn’t, uh, hinder your perception of me in any way, but… yeah. I don’t want it. I’m perfectly happy with the job I have now. And—if you ask me, I think Gerri is the best person for this role.”
“Hm. Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate your honesty.”
Well… that was certainly a better response than you anticipated. You half-expected him to get angry and cuss you out.
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. Did you do the right thing?
“Bye, Uncle Logan.”
“Sleep well.”
With that, the call ended. 
Five minutes later, you got a text message from Gerri. Two words, and that was it.
It’s me, it said.
Another one pinged through a minute later. 
Shiv blew it with Lisa.
Your brows raised. Roman was certainly going to have a field day once you told him.
You shot her a reply. 
Congrats, Gerri. I’m glad it’s you.
Tumblr media
The next day, Shiv was nowhere to be seen. She wasn’t answering her phone, and she’d turned off her location. Logan was beyond furious, yelling through the phone at both you and Roman to keep a watchful eye on Gerri and to try and find Shiv. Once the call ended, the two of you gave each other meaningful glances. There was only one place Shiv would go after she felt slighted. 
She’d gone to confront Kendall. Maybe to scope out what he was doing for Logan. Or maybe just for herself. You didn’t quite know her motif just yet.
“So… we’re going to Kendall?” Roman asked you.
“That’s where she’d be,” you replied. “But let’s not… tell your dad yet.”
“Sounds good with me,” he snorted. “He’d have a fucking heart attack.”
Before the two of you got into the car, Roman mumbled something about not wanting to turn up empty-handed, and bought a box of a dozen fresh cinnamon rolls from the airport. 
The drive there was quiet and tense. Roman began anxiously drumming his fingers on the car seat, then moved to doing it on your thigh and you didn’t bother stopping him. You pulled out your phone and shot Shiv a text, though you were nearly certain she wasn’t going to answer.
Everyone’s looking for you. I hope you know what you’re doing.
Once you got to Kendall’s base—which was just his ex-wife Rava’s house, because he had nowhere else to set up—Jess was the one to greet the two of you on the lower levels.
“Kendall’s a bit busy at the moment, but he’s told me to just send the two of you up.”
“Thanks, Jess,” you told her, not unkindly. Sometimes you felt bad for the woman. She was bright and intelligent and a hard-worker, and it was clear that she had so much potential. It was a shame she was glued to Kendall’s side.
An elevator ride later, the two of you stepped into Rava’s living room. And, to none of your surprise, Shiv was right there on one of the clean grey couches.
“Oh, wow. Lookie, lookie. Alright, okay,” deadpanned Roman. “How come you’re not answering your phone?”
Shiv lifted one of her shoulders nonchalantly. “I’ve had it off. No agenda.”
“Right. No agenda.”
“How is he?” she asked.
“Fine. Worried about you,” you said. You took a seat on the couch across from her and Roman took to wandering around, touching just about every single piece of decoration he came across. 
The red-head narrowed her eyes at you. “So, uh, how are you feeling about Gerri as CEO?”
“Great. I think she was the best choice.”
“Uh-huh. And you didn’t want it for yourself?”
“No.” There was no hesitation to your answer.
“Right.” Shiv laughed as if she didn’t believe you. “Of course you didn’t.”
Roman’s lips twitched as he leaned against the backrest of the couch, leering over his sister. “What’s your fucking game? What are you even doing here?”
“Why? What are you guys doing here?” she shot back.
“Here looking for you,” said Rome. 
“Sure.”
Rolling his eyes, Roman haughtily said, “As far as you know, that’s the fucking truth.”
Before anyone could say anything else, there were echoing footsteps down the hall, and Kendall appeared, a silly smile plastered across his face.
“Here he comes,” said Roman. “The attention whore.”
“Hey, Rome. Y/N.” He stood in front of his brother, glancing back and forth between you and him. “How are you guys doing?”
Tilting his head, Roman replied, “Great. Thanks for asking. It’s just been a really—great few days. You know, being a hostage held at gunpoint, and then my brother decided to fuck the family company over on a whim. It’s been great. How about you?”
“I’ve been good!” said Kendall, propping his hands up on his hips. “Certain amount of regret, but you know—pretty cleansed.”
 It took all you had in you not to heave out a grand sigh. “Cleansed,” you mumbled. “You could’ve just gone on a spa retreat for that. Didn’t have to pull all this shit. I think a clay mask would do you good.”
Kendall shot you a mildly amused look. “I needed to do this. And yeah—I still meant every word of what I said to you.”
You frowned. He was clearly alluding to the phone call where he was offering you a spot with him. “Right. Oh, and, uh—Ro brought you those cinnamon rolls from the airport.”
“That’s so sweet. That’s kind. Thanks, Rome,” said Kendall, glancing at the blue little box on the table.
“Shut up. Just eat ‘em or don’t,” Roman said, standing behind the couch and patting your shoulders. You reached over and rubbed his hand.
Finally, Kendall rubbed his palms together and addressed all three of you. “Look, guys, can we start on a clean slate? You didn’t like how I handled things with Dad. Sure. Whatever, I’m sorry. But that’s for me and him. Here’s the thing… he’s over, so let’s work together to take the company over and help him move on out.”
Roman wrinkled his nose. “Uhm… well, I’m just here to spy on Shiv, so—”
“And I’m just here to get you to back down,” Shiv told her older brother.
The four of you fell silent when a group of Kendall’s busy worker-bees crowded into the living room, holding stacks of files and papers and binders.
Shiv blew out a sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to tell you how much of an asshole you are, but can we do it somewhere we don’t have to fold in Rava’s dog-walker?”
“Yeah. Sorry, yeah. Follow me. Uh—we can go into her room. Sophie’s room.”
Roman helped you up off the couch and snorted, “I’m surprised he remembered his kid’s name. Uh, which one was she? Right! Sophie. Or was it Sophia?”
The two of you snickered under your breath, and filed into the room behind Kendall and Shiv.
“Don’t touch any of her shit,” said the oldest out of the four.
Of course, Roman reached out and brushed his hand along all the little toys and trinkets lining her desk and drawers. You were the last in the room, and you didn’t even get the chance to reach out and shut the door behind you before Kendall was rubbing his hands together.
“Okay. So… uh, it’s pretty simple, really. Let’s gang up on dad and take him down.”
“Well, fuck. At least wait until the door’s closed,” you said, just before kicking it shut. Patting Roman’s shoulder, you took a seat near the foot of Sophie’s bed while Shiv made her way to the very top.
Kendall grinned sheepishly, though you could see the apprehension in his eyes.
“Why didn’t you come to us before?” Shiv asked. “Because look—it’s a real fucking mess now.”
You thought back to the yacht. How Kendall was offered up as the sacrificial lamb, unexpectedly. Of course he’d have no time to confer with any of you.
The grin on his face seemed to taper away. “It came together in my head a bit late. And, you know—I mean, I knew what I was gonna do, but…”
Roman’s brows furrowed. “That was spontaneous?”
“Well, I spoke with a lawyer—”
“Oh, wow! He spoke with a lawyer?” Roman parroted in a mocking tone. 
“But they advised against it. I don’t wanna rehash it all but—I was effectively acting alone.”
The words made Roman roll his eyes so far into the back of his head it was a wonder he couldn’t see his brain. “Right. A spontaneous, heartfelt out-pouring of thoroughly lawyered emotion.”
“You guys can think whatever you want, in the end, of me. My offer still stands.” His eyes were on Shiv, then on you. 
You drummed your nails against Sophie’s soft blanket. “Kendall… you can’t just expect us to drop everything and trust you blindly. Do you understand how much we’d be risking? You have to give us something to work with here.”
Scoffing, Shiv said, “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m here to get him to back down.”
“On Dad’s behalf,” Roman added. Was it a question or a statement?
Kendall nodded twice. “Right. Uh-huh. So if I say that I won’t back down and I’m not interested in negotiating any deals, you’d just call him and tell him to take a hike?”
Before anybody could say anything else, there was a knock at the door, and Jess’ head popped through.
“He’s here,” said Jess.
“What? Who?” asked Roman.
“Con. Yeah, send him in,” Kendall said. The grin was back on his face.
Roman laughed under his breath. “Right. Thought I heard a clown car pulling up.”
“Ideally I’d like to make a media appearance. All of us,” Kendall told the three of you. 
Immediately, he was met with noises of protest and sour faces. 
“Sweet,” Roman droned. “Are we gonna be wearing costumes that you have designed, asshole?”
“Yeah. That’s not happening,” Shiv chimed.
More hesitantly, you added on, “That sounds like an awful idea, Kendall. No offense.”
The door opened again, and Connor came in with a wide smile. He greeted Kendall with a hug, then swung his gaze to the rest of you.
“Pop’s looking for you guys, you know,” he said. He sat down beside you and rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. “You okay? You look tired.”
“Could be better, Con. Could be better.” You spared him a half-hearted smile, then shrugged.
Shiv leaned back against the headboard. “We’re here on his behalf.”
Connor laughed, and sent his half-sister an amused glance. “Oh, sure, honey. Me too. All about Dad. That’s why we’re all here.”
Bored, Roman began wandering around the room, glancing and poking around in Sophie’s walk-in closet. He pulled out a frilly pink t-shirt and held it up to his chest. “You think this color suits me?”
“Put that back,” Kendall admonished dismissively, but didn’t bother to take it away from him. Instead, he continued right on with the topic of conversation, taking a seat on an ottoman. “Okay, can we just—can we turn off the devices and get into this? If this shit was just epiphenomenal, maybe it could be ridden out. But these incidents are symptomatic of a foundational sickness within our father and this company.”
Roman snorted. “Hmm, don’t he use that tongue prettier than a twenty-dollar whore?”
Chuckling, Shiv tilted her head. “So what’s your point?”
“My point is… the milk is going sour. You know, the great whites from politics to culture, they’re rolling off the stage. It’s our time.”
“You mean us?” Roman asked, giggling. “The multi-fucking-ethnic transgender alliance of twenty-something year-olds we got here?”
You shot the man an incredulous look. “Kendall, you’re a rich, middle-aged white man. I’m sorry if your image doesn’t exactly scream woke extravaganza.”
He waved the two of you away. “Okay, listen. Big picture, we’re at the end of the long American century. Our company is a declining empire inside of a declining empire. People are killing themselves with guns or dope so fast that we’re losing pace. We’re, uh, we’re fat-fingered fucks and we can only live on cream. US supremacy is waning—”
“Why is that a bad thing?” you cut in, nose wrinkling. 
Kendall held his hand out, as if to gesture at you to keep quiet. “What I think is, within that context, we can become omni-national and reposition. Because actually, we’re not tied to anything culturally or physically. So, we’re actually in a great position to leapfrog tech. Information is going to be more precious than water. Combine all our news operations, and become the global news information hub.”
You winced. It was a bad idea. A terrible idea. It reminded you of the Pierce acquisition but just… a hundred times worse. And what the hell does omni-national even mean?
“Amazon is twenty years old, and Gates is an old geezer. Detoxify our brand, and we can go supersonic.”
Silence. Utter silence. 
You and Roman stared at each other, as if trying to reassure each other how bullshit everything he was saying sounded.
“What do you say?” Kendall asked. “Are we interested?”
Roman hummed. “Mmh. There’s just something about betraying our father that doesn’t sit well with me.”
“He’s a central player in a rotten cabal that has basically eaten the heart out of American democracy—”
“Rotten Cabal is a good name for a band,” Roman chimed.
“Dad’s not on trial for that, though, Ken,” said Shiv. 
Hotly, Kendall defended, “Maybe he should be.”
“If he didn’t do it, it would’ve been someone else making the same dollar off the same shit,” said Roman. 
Leaning his weight onto his knees, Kendall turned to look back at his brother. “Yeah, maybe. Maybe we’re all irrelevant. Maybe there’s always going to be death camps and maybe the planet is going to fry, and there’s nothing we can do. Or maybe… maybe people make a difference. I don’t know. Do you think human beings matter, Rome?”
The conflict danced across Roman’s eyes clear as day. It disappeared quickly once he crossed his arms and said, “I’m just gonna say it now—I’m a spy and I’m gonna go back and tell him everything. I’m with Dad, so… fuck you.”
Kendall frowned. “Fine. Fine. I actually don’t give a fuck. I can perfectly well do this alone. I’m actually just trying to be open-hearted and invite you in here. I mean, it’d actually probably be simpler to go alone, but I want to offer you guys a fucking ticket to the escape pod.”
“Nice fucking guy, huh?” Rome chortled.
Finally, the ball dropped. “You’re happy he went over your head and put in Gerri?” 
Roman’s expression fell. You knew he’d wanted the job. “I think Gerri is a good choice.” Shiv laughed, and Roman defensively spat out, “What?”
“Defend Dad all you want, but Gerri can look after herself.”
“Yeah, I know that, I’m not defending Gerri, I just—”
Shiv sat up straighter. “You can’t hide under the covers with Mommy.”
Roman shifted back a step. “Oh, fuck off, Siobhan.”
“No, no, let’s talk about it. You always need someone to hold your fucking hand. You use Gerri as protection, and then you run off to Y/N every time something just barely inconveniences you. You just love showing your pee-pee to everyone but someday, you know, you’re actually gonna have to fuck something.”
His nose twitched. “Fuck you. Bitch.” With that, he made his way to the door and stormed out of the room.
You and Connor both called after him, but he was already gone. 
“Okay… that was… that was low, Shiv,” said Con, frowning. 
“That was an overreaction!” she exclaimed.
Huffing, Connor shook his head. “Can we just try to keep things nice? Yeah?” He patted your shoulder again. “I’ll go check on him.” 
“It’s not my fault he’s got a sex thing,” Shiv laughed. “Was I too harsh?”
“You kidding? He loves it. He’s probably out there jerking off, wearing my ex-wife’s panties.”
You buried your face in your hands, pulling exasperatedly. “You guys are fucking assholes. You’re fucking two-faced, Shiv, and Kendall, you’re just… you’re just using us. Fuck. “Media appearance”? Give me a fucking break.”
With that, you stood up from the bed and made your way out of the room. Worry scratched away at your chest for Roman. You stepped into the living room, expecting to see him lingering around there, but you heard Connor’s voice echoing down the hall. He was standing in front of the closed bathroom door, a hand on the gilded doorknob, the other rapping against the wood lightly.
“Rome?” he asked. “You okay?” 
“Go away,” his muffled voice replied from the other side.
You stepped forward, right next to Connor. “Hey, Romeo?”
There was a pause. Then the door swung open.
“Hi,” you said, mustering up a tired grin. 
“Hi,” he said. Roman tried his best to mirror your smile, but failed miserably.
“You okay, Rome?” Connor asked again.
He shrugged, scratching at the back of his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed to piss. Am I not allowed to do that?”
Finally, you ambled another step forward and enveloped Roman into a tight hug. “What Shiv said isn’t true, you know. I’m the one that ran to you this time.”
Roman mumbled something into your shoulder, but you didn’t quite catch it. Maybe it was an off-handed thanks. At least, that’s what you hoped he said.
Connor smiled at the two of you with a huff, clapping a hand on each of your shoulders. “Maybe it��s time to head back. I don’t think we’re done discussing things. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
With that, you let go of Roman and nudged him back in the direction of Sophie’s bedroom. 
As soon as he made his way back in, Shiv met his gaze with a half-beam, half-grimace etched across her features. “Sorry,” she said. She didn’t really sound all that sorry.
“For what? I went to the bathroom,” Roman dismissively replied. “I don’t give a shit. You whore.”
Shiv smiled, and he grinned back. Haughtily, he snatched up your hand and crowded you into sitting down on the loveseat with him. He swung a leg up to throw over your thighs and you traced aimless circles along his shin. 
“Here’s how I see this,” Kendall started up, “Dad is complicated. But he did, or he let, bad stuff happen. Yeah? And now it’s a part of us and our sickness, and we have to take responsibility because we knew. This is our chance to pay our dues and wash our hands for absolution.
You narrowed your eyes. Knew? 
Thinking along the same lines as you, Shiv snorted out a derisive sound. “Okay, well… I didn’t know.”
“Sure, whatever, but—yeah, you did,” Kendall said. 
“No, obviously we didn’t know,” Shiv exclaimed. “Did you guys know?”
“No,” you were quick to say. “What kind of question is that?”
Roman leaned further back into the seat. “No, we didn’t know.”
Incredulous, Kendall rounded his gaze onto the two of you. “The fucking pipeline of sad dancers who got used and abused and promised some Hollywood bullshit? We all fucking knew.” 
Brows cinching together, Roman acquiesced by saying, “Yeah, well, I kinda knew about… you know, that there was some—but I didn’t know about any of the actual fucking… the fucking shit that went down. I really didn’t.”
“Come on, guys,” Connor said. “We knew.”
“Maybe you guys did,” you protested. “But I didn’t fucking know. I was a kid! We were kids!”
“But we still fucking knew! Okay? And I—I don’t like all this fucking bullshit!” Kendall propped his hands on his hips, staring down at his siblings.
“What did we fucking know?” Roman asked. 
“Yeah!” 
Leaning closer to his sister, Connor said, “Listen, I’m obviously not saying that you guys are responsible. But, come on. The guys, Dad, Mo—the wolf pack.”
“We knew,” Kendall parroted. “All those jokes and the weird vibes to the women and to the grubby fat-asses who took the cruises. The blind eyes and the pay-offs and the hush-hush about Dad’s pals or foreign workers who got crushed like—like meat in a fucking grinder with zero training! And, you know, no, it wasn’t our fault. And if you want to pretend that your shit doesn’t stink, be my guest, but we fucking knew.”
Solemn, Connor nodded. “We knew what those guys in Dad’s study were laughing about.”
Hotly, you said, “How many times do I have to say it? I didn’t know that the dancers were being sexually harassed! That—that fucking workers were being grilled under terrible work conditions! And I sure as hell didn’t know anything about these million-dollar pay-offs you love to parade around without actually showing us.”
Shiv drew in a breath. “We didn’t know what they were laughing about.”
“Don’t get in the pool with Mo?” Connor asked. “Remember that?”
“Well, yeah, that just sounds like fucking common sense,” you replied. “It was all so… grey. There were so many rumors. I just—I didn’t know if what Mo did actually happened or just a part of a huge fucking joke.”
“Yeah. And I didn’t get in the pool with any of those creeps,” said Shiv.
Kendall nodded, “Yeah, because he let those creeps run cruises.”
“No, Kendall, because I was fifteen!” Shiv finally asserted. “Y/N said it before—we were kids! Y/N was barely fourteen! We were hardly ever around them, and when we were, they were talking about shit we didn’t understand, and we didn’t want to understand. Because we were teenagers, and they were creepy old men that constantly told us about how mature we were for our age. Obviously we didn’t know what they were talking about, because we didn’t even want to know.”
Waving his sister’s words away, Kendall stressed, “Well, you know now, right?”
“Of course I fucking know now, that’s why we’re here in the first place!” Shiv yelled.
A beat of silence. 
Kendall’s shoulders squared. “This is all a sidebar. Okay? All I’m asking is for us to move forward from a position of truth.” 
“Are we excluded from this kingdom of heaven unless we accept the one true truth?” Shiv asked.
His phone dinged with a text message, and Kendall reached down to pull it out of his pocket. His kids were here.
“Look, I just wanna go hug my kids. Okay? I’ll be right back.” He started back out, making his way to the door. “We don’t even need to get into this. This is just sideshit.”
Once he was gone, Roman’s hand rested against the side of your face, gently pulling your head down to rest against his shoulder.
“We were kids,” you mumbled tiredly. Blurry memories of leering, smoking men and jaunty laughter crossed your mind. “How could I have known?”
Roman hummed, but he said nothing more.
“So… where are we at?” Shiv asked. Her question seemed to be directed at anyone in particular, but her eyes were on you.
“I don’t know. I don’t trust him. He clearly doesn’t trust us,” you said, pursing your lips.
Roman nodded. “We’re just hearing him out—then we report. It’s simple, Siobhan.”
“Right. Yeah. We gotta protect Dad… because if we knifed him now, he’d just bleed out, so…”
Roman reared his head back. “Hm. I don’t know about that.”
“Well, it’s just true. It’s a statement of fact.”
“Is it, though?” Roman wrinkled his nose. “It’s not necessarily true. This is Dad. He’s like fucking—fucking Moby Dick. He could take us all down with his back riddled with harpoons.”
Scoffing, Shiv arched a brow. “Yeah? You think he can take on all of us? If we back Ken, he’s toast. I’m not saying we should do it—we just need to decide what the fuck we’re gonna do because this is our moment.”
Finally, Roman’s features softened. He gave you a nudge. “What do you think?”
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “If all of us back Kendall, that’d spook Karl and Frank onto our side. Gerri, maybe. The board… they’ll be split at first, but I think most of them would be swayed with enough convincing. I don’t know. It’s hard to gauge.”
“It’s very hard to imagine him surviving if we allied,” Connor agreed.
“Yeah. Sure, it’s his board, but it’s a lot of fresh blood. A lot of fear. I think if we pulled a pin today, and tomorrow, we got a spooked board. We could win.”
Tilting your head, you asked her, “I’m confused, do you or do you not want to back Kendall?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“On you guys!”
Roman shook his head. “My only concern with stabbing Dad in the back—it might actually kill him.”
You thought back to how scared and worried the two of you were when Logan was in the hospital. Certainly not something you wanted to relive.
It was then that the door opened once again, and Kendall stepped in. “So—where are we?”
“Okay. Let’s say you win, and take Dad out. I don’t see us coming through in the proxy battle. Shareholders don’t like confusion—they’ll pull out the moment they realize the condom ripped. How does the family stay in control?” Shiv asked.
“We give Dad the revolver, show him to the office, proxy battle is over,” Kendall stated matter-of-factly. “Sandy and Stewy will back down. I’ve spoken with them.”
“Busy fucking bee,” Roman snorted.
Bobbing his head, Kendall said, “If Dad went fast enough, we’d have a settlement. Look, guys, I don’t know what I think about Dad. Uh… I love him, I hate him—I’ll outsource it to my therapist. But he was going to send me to jail, you know. He’d do the same to you, Rome. Con. Shiv, I don’t know. Maybe. Don’t you guys see that? Y/N—he’ll… he’ll fucking throw you to the sharks if he needed to. I mean, how many years have you been scurrying around doing all of the yardwork for him?”
You met Kendall’s intense gaze, but you remained silent.
It was Roman who spoke instead: “Well, what would the shape of this new fucking reality be, anyway? Us leapfrogging Amazon?”
“Oh, yeah. We’re looking at 323 BC, naturally. Alexander’s dead. I take Asia, Rome takes Egypt, Shiv takes Europe, Y/N has the Americas, North and South. Con—the rest of the world.”
Connor smiled. “Thanks.”
“Separate divisions. I could oversee us as CEO on paper as we shift to these spheres of influence and evaluate what the core is. We move forward—”
A migraine began to pulse in Roman’s temple and he rubbed his head gingerly. “You’re overseeing us?”
A second of silence. “I’d offer my leadership initially as a—as a necessary part of a transformation process, yes.”
“You’d do that for us?” Roman mocked in a baby-voice. “Oh, you’re so generous! Thanks, Ken!”
“No! In your position, it just doesn’t work,” Shiv protested.
“It’s a stretch,” winced Connor in agreement.
“Stretch?” Roman scoffed. “It’s a fucking scrotum over a timpani drum!”
Shiv straightened her posture. “If I were to back you against Dad, I would need to take over.”
Both you and Rome made noises of surprise.
“What? Woah!” Roman chuckled and you drew in a cold inhale through your teeth.
“Shiv, I’m sorry, there’s absolutely no way you’d be able to steer us out of this mess—” you began.
“What? And you could?”
“Yes!” you exclaimed, thinking back to the phone call you had with Logan in the hotel. “But I’m not going to. I don’t want the fucking top job. I’m looking at this from a neutral perspective, okay? You wouldn’t work.”
Kendall nodded vehemently. “You don’t have the experience, Shiv. It wouldn’t be possible. I wish it was, but it isn’t.”
“Come on, you’re a busted flush! I’m the only person who can reform!”
“You’re too divisive,” Kendall said. Shiv’s lips parted in offense. “I mean, I don’t see you this way, but people see you as the token woman, wonk, woke, snowflake. I don’t think that, but the market does.”
“Jesus Christ,” you mumbled, pinching the space between your brows.
“What? That’s bullshit!” she bit out, volume raising a notch.
Snickering beneath his breath, Roman said, “It’s true, I just spoke to the market. That’s exactly what they think.”
“Guys, listen. We’d get new directors, and a clean broom. And then we can figure out how to split the spoils.”
Shiv pursed her lips. “I have some calls to make,” she finally said, getting up from the bed. “But this stays in here, yeah?”
“Absolutely,” Roman said.
“Yeah,” both you and Connor mumbled.
With that, she left the room.
Roman slipped away from you, saying something about taking his own call. You watched him go curiously, though you were already pretty certain he was going to call Gerri for her opinion, seeing as she was CEO now. With a nod to Kendall and Connor, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom.
You strode down the hall and shut the door behind you. The mirror above the sink’s reflection stared back at you, nearly unrecognizable. You looked so tired. Clothes wrinkled, hair disheveled, eyebags dark. All you wanted to do was go home and crawl into your own bed.
You sniffed, though you weren’t crying. You wanted to cry, though. A cry-session sounded really nice right about now. You blinked once, then twice. No tears, still.
Dejected, you went about your business, before rinsing your hands clean and stepping out to the rest of the siblings gathered in the living room now, all standing around a white box of donuts.
“Someone ordered dessert?” you asked with a mild laugh, quirking a brow at Roman. 
“Wasn’t me,” he said, jerking his head to Connor, who had a card in his hand.
“Dad sent donuts. Perfectly innocent, safe-to-eat donuts,” the oldest of the group announced. He lifted up the card. “He wants us all to have a nice tea party.”
Shiv glanced around shiftily. “What the fuck? Ken—did you tell him?”
“Shiv, come on,” he replied. “Why would I tell him?”
“To make him distrust us and force us to back you?” you offered, peering over at the donuts. Connor reached over to take out a glazed chocolate one from the center.
“I wouldn’t eat that,” Shiv told his brother. 
Incredulous, Connor said, “You really think he’d send poisoned donuts to the house of his grandchildren?”
“Yeah, I’m, like, ninety-eight percent sure those aren’t poisoned,” Roman chimed. 
Kendall shook his head. “Okay, guys. These aren’t relevant—”
“Oh, no. No, no, no, these are really relevant donuts,” Roman protested.
Ignoring him, Kendall held up his phone. “Do we wanna? Guys—are we in? I’ll make the call right now. We can say it tonight. It’ll be over. New dawn.”
A terse silence settled over the rest of you.
“Con, stop staring at the fucking donuts, man. Focus!”
With that, the eldest sibling dropped the card on top of the donuts. “I’m out,” he said.
Kendall’s eye seemed to twitch. “Alright, then. You’re irrelevant, anyway.”
“Hey, fuck you.”
“Go on. Leave. You’re not wanted. You’re not wanted, Connor! Leave!”
“Don’t be fucking mean, Kendall,” you snapped. 
Roman shook his head. “Yeah, as if he hasn’t heard that enough already.”
“I just don’t wanna destroy Dad. I’m a national figure. It’s not right to kill one’s father.”
“Yeah, you’re a prick!”
You shot Connor an apologetic glance, but he simply shook his head, gathered his jacket, and took his leave.
Kendall then rounded on his younger brother. “Roman. Come on, man. Let’s do this.”
“Uhm… pass.”
“Pass? Why?”
Roman pulled a sour face, as if he’d just licked a lemon. “A number of reasons, really.”
“Like what? You think I can’t win? Dude—we can win this together. We’ll fucking win! There’s enough for us all, Rome.”
“I told you. I’m with Dad. I always have been.”
Shaking his head, Kendall spat out, “You’re a fucking moron.”
“Don’t call him that!” You bristled. He sounded just like his father. 
Kendall looked to his sister. “Forget them, Shiv.”
“I’m with Dad,” she said, plainly. Roman laughed, and Kendall’s expression fell.
“Why?” he asked.
She crossed her arms and shrugged. “Why? I don’t need to tell you.”
“Yes, you fucking do! Is it the goddamn donuts? Have you been spooked by fucking donuts? That’s pathetic, Shiv! Why? You owe me an explanation!”
Shiv tossed her head back and laughed at the irony. “Oh, yeah! Because you’ve always been so careful to keep me informed.”
“What is it? You don’t believe me?” he asked. “Obviously, you believe me! So you’re literally doing the wrong thing over the right thing here?”
Her eyes were intense on her brother. Exhaling lowly, Shiv said, “I can see that you’re angry, but don’t project your disappointment onto me. I should go.”
“Is it cowardice or avarice? I just wanna know,” Kendall called out. “Is it because you won’t take over? Is that it? Good luck with sleeping on that, Shiv.”
“Fuck you, plastic Jesus.”
“You’re a fucking twat.”
“I was the one you wanted. Rome and Connor don’t even matter to you,” she said.
“Yeah, because you’re the fucking token girl! Girls count double now, didn’t you know?”
“No, I know.” There was a crack in her voice. “I fucking know.”
“It’s only your teats that give you any value! You’re calling it wrong, Shiv. You’re fucking over the victims. I hope you know that! Well done, you dipshit!”
She shot you and Roman narrowed glances, before sauntering out of Rava’s apartment.
Finally, Kendall turned to you. His last hope. He stepped closer to you, until he was just in front of you. “Y/N, just listen. You—we could make this work. You’d be the fucking—the fucking glue. The brains. You’re good at this. You know people, you have connections. It could work. You don’t need them.”
“I don’t trust you,” you whispered. 
And there it was. There were the tears. Stinging the corner of your eyes and just barely blurring your vision. Only this time, you didn’t want to cry. Not in front of Kendall. 
Kendall took your hands loosely, and you couldn’t find it in you to pull away just yet. Roman watched on with part caution, part disgust. 
“Remember—remember when we were kids and I told you that I would be leading the company one day? That you could be there with me? Remember that? And you made me swear to give you all the fucking strawberry popsicles you wanted. You could have it all, Y/N. It’s so fucking close.”
You remembered. Of course you did. “I don’t know, Kendall. I don’t remember.” Swallowing, you pulled your hands away from his. “You’ll just use me, Kendall. You’ll just use me and then toss me to the side.”
“That’s what Dad is doing to you right now. I’m not like him. I won’t do that.”
Your expression hardened and you wiped away the tears. “I can’t back you.”
For a moment, you wondered if Kendall was going to scream.
“Fine,” he said, eerily quiet. “You’re an asshole. Both of you.”
Roman took your hand and began to tug you to the elevator.
“You’re all pricks. Fucking idiots. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing!”
He kept calling you and his siblings a variety of colorful insults, but they all blurred into white noise when Roman hurried you into the elevator, his arm wound around your waist.
“Home?” you asked. You were so, very tired.
He nodded. “Home.”
“Will you stay over?”
He kissed your head, chaste and barely there. “Yeah. Sure.”
Tumblr media
The company’s annual shareholding meeting started early in the morning. It’d been a few weeks since the eventful night at Rava’s place, and you’d been swamped with work ever since then. Shiv had been promoted to President of Domestic Operations—which was just a fancy title that meant little to nothing—and shortly after, the FBI had raided the company building.
Yeah. All sunshine and rainbows at Waystar right about now.
A vote would completely be slanted away from the Roys, and that only left them with the option of negotiation with Stewy and Sandi.
“We’re gonna lose the company,” said Shiv, hands propped on her hips. “We’re going to lose the fucking company today.”
The rest of you were sitting around on the couches, waiting for Logan to arrive. He was late, as he often was nowadays.
Roman tugged at the lapels of your dark blue pantsuit, wrangling your attention back to him. He offered you a wry smile. “Say, if I lose my job here, do you think I could find work behind a cash register at Target?”
“Haven’t you heard? All those jobs are being taken up by broke college students with at least two bachelor's degrees under their belt,” you dryly replied. He barked out something akin to a laugh. Since he was straightening out your suit for you, you reached out to fix his loosely-knotted tie. Once you were done, you patted his cheek fondly and pulled your hands away. 
It was then that Logan came ambling through the entrance, clutching a dark cane in one hand and Kerry right behind him. 
“There he is. The big beast,” Roman said. “Ready to kick ass with his ass-kicking boot.”
“You heard?” Shiv queried him, without bothering to even say hello. “You know where we’re at?”
Logan stared at his daughter for a good few seconds. “Uh-huh,” he finally said, stoutly. Then, he looked to senior management. “Karl? Gerri?”
The man shrugged. “Uh… I guess we have to delay the vote. Squeeze Sandy and Stewy’s airtime. Run the long versions of the speeches. ”
Gerri spoke up, “I emailed a list of assigned shareholders for last minute persuasion.”
“Good, good. Yes,” Logan said. He sounded winded.
Brows furrowing, Shiv incredulously asked, “That’s it? There’s nothing else we can do?” There was an anxious lilt to her voice.
“What about the Raisin?” Logan asked. The president.
Shiv, Tom, and Cyd scrambled to answer for him, and he barked out a few more orders, before taking a seat.
Gerri’s phone began to ring, and her eyes widened when she checked the caller ID. “It’s Stewy Hosseini,” she said. “Should I take it?”
Wordless, Logan nodded once. 
The call was short, but brief. Gerri’s eyes were narrowed and calculating when she hung up.
“They want to meet up,” she announced. “They have thoughts.”
Head tilting, Roman asked, “Thoughts? What kind of thoughts?”
“Ideas for a deal space around a settlement,” Gerri told the group.
“Fucking A! That’s great!” exclaimed Roman, before he was cut off by his father.
“Why have they suddenly decided to settle?” he asked, voice low.
Shiv replied, “Well, because they know it’s the smartest move?”
“Or they’ve had bad news,” Logan said. “What do they know that we don’t?”
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “Well—we’d find out when we speak to them.”
Logan shook his head. “No. I’m not doing a tap dance. Shiv, Karl, Gerri, Y/N, Romulus—go and report back.”
Lifting a hand, Frank offered, “I think that’s smart. Yeah. But, uhm, Gerri should be out front helming, so should I go?”
“We nail you to the cross, Frank, alright?” Logan dismissed. “Let Sandy do the soft shoe. He’s wriggling. Let’s screw them out.”
Tumblr media
The hotel you were meeting them at was lavish and over-the-top—you expected nothing less from Sandy and Stewy. 
Inside the elevator up, Roman queried, “Does Sandy really have syphilis? What if he has sores all over his body? What if his groin’s all eaten away and the top half of him just falls off?”
“That’s disgusting, Rome,” you said, wrinkling your nose.
He stuck his tongue out at you. “You’re disgusting, fuck-face,” he shot back, childishly.
Gerri hummed. “I think we started that syphilis rumor.”
Raising a brow, you exchanged a look with Roman, neither of you all that surprised. Gerri was a cutthroat, cold-stoned bitch (in Roman’s words), and she’s definitely done worse than starting up a few nasty rumors.
“Late stage symptom is dementia, I believe,” said Karl, tucking his phone away into his back pocket.
Roman laughed. “You been doing some late night, panicky googling, Karl?”
With that, the elevator doors slid open, and the group filed out down the hall. A hotel employee showed you into one of the larger suites, where Sandy, Sandi, and Stewy were situated amongst plush seats. 
“Hey,” Sandi greeted with a cautious smile. “Thanks for coming. My father is very excited to see you all.”
You glanced at her father, who was slumped over on a wheelchair and silent. It seemed his condition had worsened much more than you expected. You took a seat beside Gerri, and Shiv stiffly eased down next to you. Roman lingered behind, far too restless to sit.
“Look,” said Stewy, pulling your attention away from the older man to him, “after careful consideration, if we can make a deal here, we’re willing to agree to a standstill. No takeover. Provided we lead on deal-making options moving forward, we’ll accede to a continuation of combined Chairman and CEO roles, so that’d be all yours.”
“I think that sounds reasonable,” said Gerri. 
“And the three board seats?” Stewy asked. His eyes darted from the siblings, to you, to Gerri and Karl.
Nodding, Shiv said, “Including yours? We can do that right now—I have my dad’s authorization to go there.”
“Would you be willing to sign off on this?” you asked. Stewy’s gaze met yours, mildly amused. “We’d like something physical to hold onto.”
Sandi then leaned forward when her father began to mumble under his breath, too quiet for you to decipher from where you were sitting. 
“He wants our costs covered,” Sandi finally said. That was reasonable. Then, she added, “And… veto right over any Roy family member ever taking over as CEO.”
Your brows furrowed. Gerri seemed just as taken aback by this condition as you were. 
“Stewy?” she asked, hoping he’d give some sort of clarification.
“That’s what the man said,” Stewy replied languidly. “It’s a very important protection for us.”
Wincing, Roman scratched at the back of his head. “I feel like I just have to put it out there and say it, since there’s a eighty-five billion dollar baby on the table here… how do I know he’s not your… meat puppet?”
The term made you think of Kendall before he’d waged war on his own father. 
Sandi smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I just do what my dad tells me, like you guys.”
“You mind if we take a beat?” Gerri asked, standing up. You stood with her, following her to the next room. Stewy said something snarky, but you consciously chose not to listen.
Karl ducked his head and whispered, “Well, I mean, other than the new proposal, it’s a very, very attractive prospect.”
Shiv frowned and incredulously bit out, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing to discuss. It fucks us and it’s designed to humiliate dad!”
“It’s all just optics,” Gerri defended. “I’m not sure it’d even stand up.”
“You could probably work around it if it ever came to it!” Karl piped in.
“Uhm, with all due respect, Gerri—get bent,” said Roman. 
Shaking her head, she reasoned, “I know it’s humiliating, and I’m sure your dad would agree, but given where we’re at, I have to check in with him. Sorry, excuse me.”
With that, she stepped away to call Logan.
“Is she gonna fuck us?” Shiv asked. 
Roman pulled a face. “No. I don’t know.”
“Logan’s not going to say yes,” you murmured. “He wouldn’t allow it. It’s pride over everything, no?”
Shiv shot you a sharp look, but she didn’t say anything. From farther away, Gerri hung up the phone and made her way back to Stewy.
“We will meet your costs, but… no veto,” she told them. Of course—Logan wouldn’t refuse to be the first to bend the knee.
Sandy began murmuring again, and Sandi leaned in to listen. 
“We need the veto,” she said once she backed away.
“Is there no alternative shape here?” Gerri queried, shaking her head.
Growing frustrated, Shiv said, “Come on, Sandi. We all want this to work.”
With one final lean-in, Sandi nodded her head at her father’s mumbled words.
“We’re gonna go have a think. But, uhm… it’d be a shame if all this hard work is destroyed over a small detail,” she finally concluded. “Thanks for coming to see us.”
You blew out a breath and scratched at the back of your head—a habit that you seemed to pick up from Roman.
The two of you began walking out, and Gerri caught up, just a step behind. “Sorry, about back there—”
“About what? Trying to fuck me over to consolidate your position?” 
“No. It just seemed to make sense. Business-wise.”
Roman shot her a glance over his shoulder. “Throwing me overboard to drown? You picked your prince, Gerri, don’t fuck it up now.” He began to walk faster, and you gave her an apologetic shrug. 
“We got this in the bag, Gerri. Don’t—don’t worry about Roman.” 
She patted your shoulder with a reassured smile. “I can count on you to keep him in line, right?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
With one final nod, you jogged ahead to catch up with Roman, linking your arm with his. 
“Hey, stompy,” you greeted, bumping your hip into his. “Stop pouting. Gerri was just trying to broker a deal. It’s not her fault they suddenly wanted a veto right.”
“I know. I’m just fucking—worried that I’m making the wrong choices all the time.”
“Yeah. But you’re doing okay. We’ll be fine. Everything’s going to blow over in a few months, just watch.”
The corner of Roman’s lips tilted into a lopsided smile, and hummed out that hyena-laugh of his. “You are so fucking fake. Y’know what the fucking Gen-Z’ers are calling it now? Toxic positivity. That’s what you are. A barrel of toxic, radioactive, neon-yellow smiley emojis. I love it. Never change.”
He kissed your cheek then, sounding out an obnoxious ‘mwah!’ before tugging you into the elevator.
Tumblr media
By the time you rejoined Logan, Karolina, and Tom (hell, even Greg was there), Gerri’s phone began to ring again.
“It’s Sandi.”
“Which one?” Connor asked.
“The one that can talk,” Gerri deadpanned. She gave Logan a confirming glance, before answering it. Her expression rippled with incredulity and apprehension. “Uh… are you sure about that? Alright, but—seriously?”
With one final sigh, she hung up the call.
“They have one more proviso,” she told the group. “They want to take away the private jets.”
“What? No!” Roman protested.
“They said it’s elitist and out of touch.”
A frown crossed his face. “Duh-doy, but—no. They’re just trying to humiliate him.” He gestured to his father, who was slumped in a chair, eyes staring aimlessly at the ground.
“Was it real or were they just basting the turkey?” asked Karl.
“I don’t think Sandy’s the kind to be pulling a prank on us, Karl,” you said, pinching the space between your brows. “It’s gotta be real.”
Gesturing emphatically, Shiv said, “Let’s just eat it, Dad. You can tell them to fuck off later.”
“Yeah, we can just offer to cut personal use, or put on a mileage cap,” offered Karl.
“No!” Roman protested once more. “We give them this—first they come for the PJs and we say nothing, then they come for the outsized compensation payments, you know? This is—no. This is bullshit. They’ll back down, they won’t blow it over this. Right?”
He looked at you, and you lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. They’re fishing for something here, but we still have to take them seriously.”
“Dad?” Roman asked.
The older man was silent for a long time.
“Hm.” He paused, glancing around. His eyes were glazed over. “I need to piss.”
“Oh,” said Shiv, uncertain. “Do you… do you need some help, or should I reach out and call—?”
Logan ignored her, and pointed at Tom. “You.” He loosely gestured at the rest of you. “Stay.”
“You want to make a decision now, before you go? Dad?” Shiv called out after him, but he was already walking away.
“Is he—is he okay?” you whispered into Roman’s ear. “He doesn’t look too good.”
Roman pulled a sour face. “He’s fine. He looks fine. Why, you think something’s wrong with him?”
“Well, I don’t know, he’s just acting so weird. This is—this is a big fucking deal and he’s been shrugging it off like it’s chopped liver.” At Roman’s worried look, you gripped his arm and squeezed comfortingly. “I mean, I don’t know, though. Maybe he’s okay.”
Nearly fifteen minutes later, you were about to eat your own words. 
Logan was most certainly not okay. When he came back, he was out of breath, and his eyes were unfocused.
“What’s it gonna be, Logan?” Gerri asked. “We need an answer.”
“Uh-huh.”
“What do you think? Yes or no?”
A staggered exhale and a wild look around. “Fuck ‘em,” he finally spat out.
Shock spilled over the group. Shiv made noises of protest.
“Fuck ‘em!” he repeated, gruffer this time.
“I—are you sure, Dad? That’s… you sure you wanna do this?” Shiv asked.
His breathing was getting heavier and heavier. It was clear to you that business was the last thing Logan should be thinking about right now. You stepped forward, concern splayed over your features.
“Uncle Logan, are you okay?” you asked, under your breath. He didn’t give you an answer, but you took his arm to slowly lead him to a seat. It didn’t go past your notice that he was sweltering hot and trembling quite a bit—you could feel the heat and the quaking through the fabric of his suit. 
Despite the fact that he was in no state of mind to be negotiating, Gerri and Shiv pushed him. “Do you know something, or…? That’s a big call you’re making.”
“Pills!” Logan hissed to Colin, who came forward immediately.
“I just gave you some, sir. You need something else? Tylenol?”
Logan nodded, mumbling incoherently beneath his breath.
The rest of the group discussed what the next steps were, and a part of you wanted to join and offer your input, but you stayed by Logan’s side. 
When Colin returned with the Tylenol, you furrowed your brows and told him, “He’s, uhm, he’s really hot. Like—feels like he’s burning up. Can we—do we need to go get him a medic, or…?”
“I’m fine,” he said, waving away your words. But then he smiled at you, and that was the most surprising thing of all. “Thank you, dear.”
“Okay. Just let me know if you need anything.”
“What’s going on with the Raisin?” he asked.
Gerri, overhearing, stepped closer with cinched brows. “I’m sorry, with—with the President?”
“Can we get Ravenhead on air?” Logan queried. “Call Michelle-Anne. Tell her to get the SEC to shut this meeting down.”
It was clear that Logan was spouting out utter nonsense, and you exchanged several confused looks with the rest of the group. 
“Okay… we’ll look into that,” said Karl.
“I need a piss,” Logan announced once more. Hadn’t he gone just a few minutes ago? “Where is he?” 
Tom pointed at himself. “Who, me? Again? Yeah? Sure—okay.”
Greg, who had just returned from sending off a note to Frank on stage, came bounding back to the group, sweat and hair slightly disheveled. “You guys going off to the bathroom?” he asked Logan and Tom.
Logan stared at his grand-nephew incredulously. “What fucking business is it of yours?”
You and Roman glanced at each other. “Jesus. You were right. He’s off his rocker,” Roman whispered. 
A few minutes later, Logan staggered back with Tom helping him, and Shiv came forward to ask if he was alright. To everybody’s surprise, Logan called his daughter Marcia, and then started rambling on about a speech he was meant to give.
Tom came up to the rest of the group. “Hey, uh, hey everybody—Logan’s not really himself right now.”
Shiv rushed back after phoning Kerry. “He’s got a fucking UTI.”
“That explains it,” you said, glancing back at Logan, still murmuring something to a nodding Colin. 
“Well, is that—I mean, no, it isn’t. It’s not that fucking serious, is it?” Roman asked. He was worried, you could see it clear as day. 
“At his age? That can make you crazy!” said Connor. “Reagan had one and nearly nuked Belgium.”
“What?” Shiv asked, incredulous. “How long has he been like this? What the fuck?”
Brows furrowing, Gerri chimed in, “Was he like this when he risked the whole company?”
“Nobody hears about this,” Shiv warned, voice steely. “What do we do?”
“Get a doctor,” you said, as if it were obvious. 
“Can’t we just get him some cranberry juice and ask him about the deal again?” Roman asked.
Tom shook his head. “He was just asking for Caroline.” 
“Oh,” said Roman, mock-pouting. “Aw. He misses mom.”
“He’s gone mad,” Shiv blew out. 
“Well, we don’t actually know when he got this way. We don’t!” Roman said. 
“No, no, I think he’s been piss-mad for quite some time,” Tom interjected, glancing back at Logan. “Shiv, do you think—should you overrule him? Go back to Sandy and Stewy and say we’ve changed our minds?”
You sucked in a deep breath. “Logan’ll be furious.”
“How can he be furious when he can’t even tell me apart from his wife?” Shiv shot back. 
Haughtily, you told her, “I’m saying when he’s gotten through it, he’ll be angry that you went over his back—!”
Before you could finish, Hugo came running up. “Guys—he insists that he still has to give his speech.” He hurried off when Logan called his name. Or, a garbled version of it.
“Can he give his speech?” Karolina asked. 
“What? The demented fucking piss-mad King of England?” Roman responded with a scoff. 
“He could say anything up there. No fucking way,” Shiv asserted. “I say we drop it. Right?”
“But at the very least, he should be onstage,” persisted Gerri.
Karl nodded along. “It would be great to get the body up there.”
“Right. Like a human fucking spectacle,” you said, cocking your head. “You don’t think people would find it weird that he’s up there and not saying anything?”
“Okay, we’ll just push it as late as we can, and maybe if we can just get him on stage, that’d be enough?” Shiv proposed.
Connor laughed. “Oh, yeah, maybe send him up through a trapdoor surrounded by dry ice.”
“Where is this doctor, anyway?” Gerri asked.
With no time for anyone to reply, Hugo hustled back to the group, expression twisted with uncertainty. “Uhm… he’s concerned there is a dead cat under his chair.”
Everybody blinked, clueless. 
“Great,” said Shiv. “That’s great.”
“Well, is there anything under his chair?” Gerri whispered, ducking her head to check herself. 
You stared at your godfather from afar, watching as he vehemently gestured down below his seat. 
“He says that, uh, he doesn’t want Rose to see it,” said Hugo. “And he wants Colin to take it out.”
Rose. The name sounded familiar, something you’ve surely heard in passing, but you couldn’t quite place who she was.
Clearly, Roman was beginning to grow more and more agitated, and he gritted out, “Fine. Have Colin take it out. Jesus Christ.”
Finally, Kerry arrived, hurrying to grab her bag, mumbling something about doctors and pills and secrecy. As if to make it even worse, Kendall appeared out of nowhere, and Shiv let out a long and loud string of curses.
“Great—hey, who invited you?” Roman sneered at his older brother.
Kendall ignored him. “What the fuck is going on? He’s squashing the fucking deal?”
“It’s fine! It’s fucking fine—we got it under control,” Roman vehemently pressed, though it didn’t sound too convincing with Logan in the back yelling for the cat to be carried away. The cat that didn’t, in fact, exist.
“You have to turn this around right now!” Kendall yelled. 
“We’re figuring it out,” Shiv told him.
Logan screeched again and grumbled incoherently, shifting on his chair.
“What—what the fuck is going on with him?” asked Kendall.
“The doctor’s coming, Ken,” you tried to reassure him, but he shook his head.
“No, no, I want to know what’s wrong with him!”
Colin hurried away with an empty box—supposedly holding the dead cat. A part of you wondered if this dead cat was a distant memory from Logan’s past. Maybe he was trapped in a fragment of time he could never quite move on from.
“What is that?” Kendall took a few steps to follow after Colin, but halted to look back at his siblings in utter confusion. “Guys, what—?”
“Can you just leave, please?” Roman hissed. “That is an imaginary cat, now can you please fuck off?”
Raising his voice, Kendall addressed the entire group, voice stricken and strained, “Listen to me very carefully. This is you throwing it away. You think they’re bluffing? They’re not fucking bluffing! And you’re putting everything I have fought and bled for on the fucking edge and I am not gonna let that happen! Do you understand me?”
“You’re not welcome here,” Shiv said, cold. “You have no right to be here.”
“Fucking fix it!” he yelled. Kendall sounded like his father.
“You may go! You’re excused!” Roman told him. “Thank you very much for your concern, please go.”
You and Connor stayed silent, watching the other three scream at each other.
“Go! You’re fucking delusional!” shouted Roman. “There’s a fucking delusional man leaving here!”
Kendall began to walk away, but not without screaming back, “Figure out a fucking doctor or I’m calling mine!”
“Thank you so much for your concern, like you give a flying shit!” Roman spat back. “You probably slipped him something, Putin! You piece of shit! Fuck off!” 
It was a game of tug-of-war, and both sides were backing into a cliff’s edge.
Roman was taking out his frustrations and his fear onto his brother, and you stepped forward, placing a hand on his chest.
“Hey, Rome, that’s enough. He’s—he’s leaving, okay? Bye, Kendall.” You brushed a stray strand of his hair away from his forehead. “It’s fine. You need to… you need to take a beat.”
Roman pulled a pained expression, his features crumpling under the weight of stress. He nodded several times, before crossing his arms and walking off to get himself a swig of water. 
When the doctor finally arrived, you pointed him towards Logan, quickly explaining what he’s been like for the past half an hour. He nodded and got to work, pulling out a few medical instruments to check up on Logan.
“So—how is he?” Shiv asked the doctor.
“I’ll put him on some fluids to hydrate him—it should be pretty quick.”
“Will he definitely be okay?” Roman asked
The doctor didn’t have the chance to reply when Shiv cut in, “But how quick, exactly?”
“Well… he’s not a cup of instant noodles.”
“Sure, but can we speed it up? Like a—a blood bag or an adrenaline shot?”
Roman scowled. “Geez, take it easy. You wanna give him a fucking Tabasco suppository?”
“Fuck you! It’s what he’d want,” Shiv defensively replied.
“Fuck you, too. The main thing is that we look after him, okay?” Roman slung an arm over your waist and you leaned into him with a sigh. 
“Obviously, I agree.”
“Oh, do you, though? Sounded like you want to jumpstart our father like he’s a fucking pick-up truck!” Roman uneasily glanced at Logan, who’d fallen asleep on the chair. “Shit. Can you guys call us when he’s less… scary?”
With that, Roman dragged you away from the group. You could still feel Shiv’s angry eyes burning into your back.
“Where are we going?”
“Bathroom.”
“And do you want me to aim your penis for you?” you asked, laughing slightly. “Why are you making me come with you?”
Roman shot you a loose grin. “I could come up with twenty different sex jokes with what you just said. But I’m not going to, because I’m a gentleman.”
“He says, as he shoves me into the men’s bathroom,” you scoffed, before striding in and locking the door behind you. “I hope you’re not looking for a quickie here. I don’t think it’s very sanitary.”
Laughing nervously, Roman’s grip on your hand left so it could curl over your hip, tugging you close. 
“You don’t want a little distraction? Just give me five minutes,” he mumbled. His head dipped forward to kiss the junction between your neck and your shoulder. 
“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” you whispered, so low that Roman only barely heard it.
In truth, he didn’t know, either.
“Besides, I don’t think we’d have the time, anyway. The floor is fucking lava out there,” you murmured. “Also, I wouldn’t want our first time together to be in a bathroom at a shareholder’s meeting.”
Roman smiled, almost shy, almost disbelieving. “First time? Wow. Is this your way of telling me you want to have sex with me?”
“As if you wouldn’t throw yourself on your knees begging for it,” you bit back, wrinkling your nose affectionately. Then, you cupped his face and kissed the side of his nose, leaving a faint mark of lip tint against his skin. You smiled at that. “You’re cute, Romeo. But I know you. If you wanted to have sex, you’d be dry-humping me against the sink as soon as we stepped foot in here. What is it you actually want to talk about?”
Roman blew out a heavy sigh. His hands fell away from you as he hoisted himself up onto the sink and leaned against the pristine mirror. “I wanted to come clean to you. No secrets right? During the plane ride back to New York, I called Dad. I told him I wanted the top job, but I also told him that… that you and Gerri would be my second choices if he didn’t think I was ready. I just—I wanted to know if you maybe gave him a call, too?”
There was a moment of silence.
“I did.” You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “I told him that I didn’t want it.”
“Oh.”
“And I told him that Gerri would be my choice.”
Roman’s eyes met yours. They twitched with incredulity. “And you didn’t—you didn’t mention me anywhere in there?”
“I didn’t.”
“Wow. Great fucking friend you are.”
“Rome—”
“You chose the croney over me?”
Your features hardened. “Rome. Fuck, I just… I told him I didn’t want it because I didn’t want to be marked as the token figure that roped the company out of hot water. And I don’t want that for you, either. Don’t you get it? Not to mention it’d ruin your relationship with your siblings.”
“So you just—you don’t think it’d ever be me?” Something in his voice broke.
“It could be,” you admitted. “But I don’t want it to. Not now, at least.”
There was a longer silence. Roman pulled at his face tiredly. 
You opened your mouth again, but he waved you away. “I know, I know, you didn’t offer me up because you love me and you’re trying to protect me. Thanks, fuck-face.”
He hopped off from the sink, cradling the back of your head so he could give you a chaste kiss on the forehead.
“You still up for that quickie?” you tried to joke, nudging him with a half-hearted smile.
“Sorry, I’m saving myself for Marcia. Nothing like fucking your father’s leftovers, I’d say.”
The two of you laughed and linked arms, unlocking the bathroom door to walk out and make your way back to the group.
It seemed that the two of you came back at the perfect time, because Shiv was worriedly telling everyone, “His moans are getting louder.”
“Okay, but can he do that on stage?” Hugo questioned.
“Is it a wheel-on and wave situation?” 
“Fuck, no. We’re not gonna make the piss-mad bear dance with fucking cattle prods!” Roman angrily put out. “We need to be looking after him.”
Shiv propped her hands up on her hips. “So he’s not gonna do his speech? Is that it, though? Do we just—does that mean we go down? We’d fucking give up?” She hurriedly turned and asked one of the analysts what the stats on the vote were. “God, okay. I think we should just go back to Sandy and Stewy and try to save the deal.”
“No, no. You can’t. Dad said no deal,” Roman reminded her. 
“Dad didn’t say shit, Rome!”
“He said no deal! Are you fucking deaf?”
“No, he didn’t! His urethra had wrestled control over his brain! I could at least talk to them, right? If we go to the vote, we’d probably… we’d lose. Karl? Frank? Tom?”
They all babbled incoherently—mostly in agreement. 
“Y/N?”
You pursed your lips. “Yeah. I think you should try.”
“Rome? You back this?”
Roman pinched the space between his brows. Sucking in a deep breath, he said, “Go on, yeah. Go fuck it up, you moron.”
With that, Shiv rushed away, pulling out her phone to give them a call.
Before the shareholder meeting ended, the President called and the group had Roman answer, since Logan was currently… unavailable. He was extremely upset with Logan and said that he wouldn’t be running for another term, which was a major blowback for the company, since he was the stilt to Waystar’s political survival.
It was safe to say that things were going to shit.
Then Shiv called to say that she’d finessed four seats out of the board, which was a good fucking deal, so—maybe things weren’t all that shit.
Roman wasn’t happy with going against Logan’s wishes, but he frustratedly nodded. “We’re good. We’re all good. Hold the voting.”
Everyone cheered and sighed in relief. 
When Logan came to, Gerri filled him in with all the details. He didn’t like what Shiv did, not at all, despite her defensive arguments that she’d saved the company. He yelled at her then, and everyone was quiet for a moment.
But Logan smiled at you, and patted Roman’s shoulder minutes later. He was fine, right? Things were fine.
Things were going to be okay.
233 notes · View notes
enigma2meagain · 1 year
Text
“Stop Internet Censorship” Master List
The following is a master list for all of the major Internet Censorship and Surveillance Bills between 2022 to 2023, with the most major bills that are currently active posted below. They will each link to the Tumblr posts that I have made in the past related to them, with all of the relevant information associated.
This was made because I feel people need to get a sense for just how interconnected they really are, how much Congress and third parties are trying to desperately gain full control and access to our information and silencing anything they don’t want to see and hear, and having a centralized hub of information for them will make it easier for people to find them.
The Major Bills:
EARN IT Act: 2022 version of EARN IT Act
                      2023 version of EARN IT Act (No text yet, but it’s pretending to be about preventing child abuse online this time)
     Enigma2Me Post on EARN IT Act
     fullhalalalchemist Post on EARN IT
     Condemnation of the EARN IT Act 2020 Coalition Letter
     STOP EARN IT Act LINKTREE
     Engadget: EARN IT Act reintroduced for the Third Time
------
Kids Online Safety Act: Current Draft of 2023 KOSA bill
     Enigma2Me Post on Kids Online Safety Act
     STOP KOSA LinkTree
------
RESTRICT Act: Read Bill Here.
       Enigma2Me Post On RESTRICT Act
      LoganGalbraith’s Post on RESTRICT Act
       Truthout Article 4/02/2023: Restrict Act Critics Call the Far-Reaching “TikTok Ban” Bill a “Patriot Act 2.0”  
------
STOP CSAM Act:
      Electronic Frontier Foundation: Take Action on STOP CSAM/EARN IT
      TechDirt Post Against STOP CSAM Act
------
So if you’ve seen the above, you’re probably asking: What can we do about it?
1) Spread the Word online!
Twitter Hashtags
For Earn It: #EARNITAct, #STOPTheEARNITAct, #NoEarnItAct
For KOSA: #KOSA, #KidsOnlineSafetyAct, STOPKOSA
For RESTRICTAct: #RESTRICTAct, #STOPRESTRICTAct
2) PLEASE call your Senators.
Find your 2 senators numbers here. Fax them, email them. Tell them they MUST oppose this bill. Calmly make it clear to them that if they support this bill, then you will vote for someone else who doesn’t go along with this blatant act of authoritarian intent.
3) CONTACT any major human rights and cybersecurity related organizations and let them know about this bill. Get this out to any local news groups that you can.
The following Google Doc contains a list of every major organization we could think of to contact, and will be updated as we find more allies in the fight against censorship and surveillance.
ANTI-CENSORSHIP MASTER LIST
Also Contact the organizations on these 2020 letters to get them to publicly speak out against the EARN IT Act like they did back then.
But for those who want to have official organizations to work with (and who usually have petitions except TechDirt), the following usually are up to date on info:
Electronic Frontier Foundation
Fight For the Future
Techdirt
601 notes · View notes
Text
Fan-Fiction: Warning the Reader About Content
Anonymous asked: Hi, I'm writing a fic that deals with a pretty excruciating topic, I don't want to do it too explicitly, but not superficially either. The suffering of the protagonist could cause upset readers, so what do you suggest I do to warn them without spoilers and without discouraging reading? (Because as already said it's not too graphic, so I wouldn't want to warn too excessively.) Also, how can I write something angsty and still be believable? I don't want it to be overly melodramatic but I don't want it to be superficial either
[Ask edited for length.]
If you're writing fan-fiction and are posting it to a fiction sharing site like AO3, there are tagging protocols in place for story content, so you would need to look at what's required or typical for users of the site.
If you're posting it to a site like tumblr, you will want to do some research on how content warnings and tags are handled on that site specifically. For example, on tumblr, if the character is going to experience domestic abuse, you would at the very least use the hashtag trigger warning for domestic abuse, which you will see me use (among others) in this post because of the content we're discussing.
Depending on what you're posting and where, you may also choose to do an author's note to give the reader additional warning. Again, using domestic abuse as an example, you could do something like, "Author's note: while the protagonist in this story does experience domestic abuse, it is not explicit and most of it occurs off the page." This gives the reader an idea of what to expect on top of the relevant trigger warnings/content warnings and appropriate tagging.
As far as how to properly portray the situation with the right amount of angst but without melodrama, it's a good idea to do some research on the situation you're trying to portray. It's very helpful if you can find a guide to portraying a character with that experience, and even more helpful if you can find firsthand experiences via interviews, blog posts, etc. where people discuss their feelings during and after the experience. You may also wish to use a sensitivity reader who can vet your portrayal and make sure it isn't inauthentic or harmful
I hope that helps!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
LEARN MORE about WQA
SEE MY ask policies
VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts
COFFEE & FEEDBACK COMMISSIONS ko-fi.com/wqa
107 notes · View notes
farfallasims · 3 months
Note
Hi Maddy! I have several questions if that's okay I love the quality of the photos you take of your Sims! Do you have any tips for good programs or apps that allow you to edit photos well? (Sometimes your photos almost seem edited with Facetune or something and I think it's so beautiful) And do you perhaps have any tips for me on how I can get my tumble page organized, unfortunately I don't understand it at all. (Maybe a good tutorial that you know about) Thank you very much in advance!!🥰
Hi gorgeous, no worries at all!
My biggest tip in terms of quality is if your PC can handle it, use SRWE. It is the most game-changing application you can use when it comes to increasing the quality of your photos.
Example | 1027 x 1027 vs. 3000x3000
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Even without editing, the photo quality is amplified perfectly. Although SRWE can get a bit..moody with you, it is a process of trial & error and what works for you.
As for editing applications I use, I only use Photoshop & I have my own filter/editing folder that I use on most of my photos. But besides that, I use the "Dodge" & "Burn" tool to add more dimension to my photos by lightening under eyes, intensifying contours, etc.
I personally prefer the way I edit as well because it adds more dimension to my photos which is something GShade doesn't do for me well enough on its own.
Example | With & Without Photoshop Editing (this was roughly edited but you get the gist)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I do not use any other editing softwares for photos besides Photoshop! However, before this I was using Remini and I am now so mad at how much money I wasted over that stupid app.
As for organizing your Tumblr, I recommend abusing using hashtags to sort your content! So for Anastasia Brownstone, anything she or content related to her is posted, I always use the hashtag "brownstone*". This way, I have everything sorted for her and have it linked on my Navigation post.
I do the same for Lookbooks, Interiors, Downloads, etc. and have found this the best way to organize my content!
I hope all this information is enough for your questions, but please let me know otherwise!
74 notes · View notes
end-otw-racism · 1 year
Text
Social Media Toolkit for #EndOTWRacism
** Highest priority action: share the Call to Action! **
TUMBLR
Follow this account and boost the Call to Action and other posts
Change your profile pic (see graphics below)
Write your own posts about racism in fandom (feel free to get personal!) using the hashtag #End OTW Racism
Modify and use the sample language to share your new/updated fanworks:
SAMPLE LANGUAGE [share regular info about your fanwork] I created this [fanwork] to join other fans in calling on OTW (@transformativeworks) to address harassment and racist abuse on AO3 (@ao3org). Read our Call to Action to learn more, share, and find out how you can get involved. The current campaign runs from May 17-31, 2023 - join us! suggested tags: #End OTW Racism #OTW #AO3 #OTW Board #racism in fandom
TWITTER (remove backslashes from ats on twitter)
Follow @/EndOTWRacism and boost tweets
Change your profile pic and banner (see graphics below)
Write your own tweets about racism in fandom (feel free to get personal!) using the hashtag #EndOTWRacism and the Twitter attachment graphic if you wish
Modify and use the sample tweets to share your new/updated fanworks, or write your own using the hashtag and tag @/OTW_News and @/AO3org:
SAMPLE TWEET #1: [share regular info about your fanwork] Join me in calling on @/OTW_News to #EndOTWRacism!
SAMPLE TWEET #2: @/AO3org has a racist harassment problem. I’m calling on @/OTW_News to #EndOTWRacism, & I created a fanwork to spread the word!
GRAPHICS (see folder for easy downloading!)
profile pics
alt text: “END OTW RACISM” in bold text, each word on a single line against a contrasting color in shades of red and brown.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
banners
alt text: Three boxes side by side with the words “END OTW RACISM” in bold text, one word in each box against a contrasting color in shades of red and brown.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
twitter attachment graphics
alt text 1:
#End OTW Racism in bold colors to the side. Text: End Racism in the OTW: A fan protest against the lack of action from the OTW on addressing issues of harassment and racism on AO3 and within the organization. Three years ago, the Organization for Transformative Works (OTW) - the parent organization for AO3 - committed to acting on harassment and racist abuse that can currently happen through the site. Join us in holding the OTW to their commitment and demanding change that will help keep us all safer! Read more in our Call to Action, where you will find detailed information on the problem, what we're demanding from the OTW, and how you can signal boost and get involved. We are taking action May 17th to 31st.
Tumblr media
alt text 2:
#End OTW Racism Actions May 17-31. On AO3: - Change the title of ten (or more!) of your most recent or most popular fanworks to include ‘End Racism in the OTW’ in the beginning, and provide a link to the Call to Action in your first/top author’s note. - Post a new fanwork with ‘End Racism in the OTW’ either as the title or at the beginning of the title. - If updating any WIPs, add ‘End Racism in the OTW’ to the title. - Update your AO3 icon. - Plan to maintain these changes until May 31st, or longer if you wish On Social Media & Elsewhere: - Send a message to the OTW asking for an update on their 2020 commitments. - Reblog/Retweet/Repost this Call to Action on your fan-social medias with the hashtag #EndOTWRacism. - Update your pfp/icon and change your display name to include #EndOTWRacism. - Follow and boost the social media posts for this action on any socials you have. - Follow fans who have been talking about and highlighting these issues tirelessly despite targeted racist threats and harassment
Tumblr media
187 notes · View notes
sweettoothvn · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Welcome In Valued Customer!
Welcome to the official Sweet Tooth VN tumblr page! This page is run by @flavorcrash and in the works of being created.
[As of March 2024, progression has resumed! It will be slow but we're back on track now that our team has expanded!]
This is an 18+ blog! Minors should not interact for the safety of the creators and themselves.
Content Warnings are subject to change as the story is still in development! Current warnings:
Gore, Death, Violence, Mentions of Non-Con/Non-Con Elements, Mentions of Dub-Con/Dub-Con Elements, Cannibalism, Aliens, Religious Themes/Cult Themes, Substance Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Physical/Mental/Emotional Abuse, Child Neglect/Abuse, Suggestive Themes
If you are uncomfortable with ANY of these topics, please do not feel forced to indulge in this content. The official base version of Sweet Tooth will be SFW and there will be an option to censor most of these topics, but I cannot guarantee a full censor.
Lore, Character Designs, and any information given in the asks are subject to change! The mind is a fickle thing after all.
If you wish to post any content about Sweet Tooth you may use the following hashtag:
#SweetToothVN
If you're interested in supporting the creation of this game or flavorcrash's work feel free to check out her social media pages:
SubscribeStar Etsy Kofi Twitter Linktree
For additional content that may not be posted on Tumblr, feel free to join our discord server! Just know that you will require an ID to verify that you are at least 18+
Discord
28 notes · View notes
stopscammingartists · 2 months
Note
So Kara came into the thing to defend herself with people spreading that the claims were "debunked" I wanted to know what you thought about that all
So here's the thing, that post I made that's spreading around was a post I made 8 months ago because I was looking into the cohost moderation after they ignored the reports of Eevee deadnaming my friend. I was looking into this because I had a hunch Eevee had a connection to them, and favorites where being played, and when it comes to that, I was correct.
I recognized Kara on the list from the #ChangeDiscord hashtag from 2019, and was losing my mind because it made sense. Kara during it's time as a discord trust and safety moderator would ban people for lightly making fun of furries, and would generally be grossly unprofessional in the support tickets. A lot of people where saying they where banned for things they didn't do on reddit.
I also happen to know someone who used to work with Kara, and a thing they kept mentioning about that time was how hypocritical Kara was. How she would ban people for innocuous stuff, but also gave the furries in the same community a pass to post stuff like gore and scat.
And hey, I just found out this person with a history of clear biases while moderating is involved in the site that ignored multiple reports of someone who happens to fit Kara's biases blatantly breaking TOS.
It lined up, and still does.
In my shock, I mistakenly conflated the #ChangeDiscord cub situation with people speaking out against Kara's unacceptable behavior as a Discord Trust and Safety. I was careless, and spoke about stuff without doing the proper research to double check my own memory and for that I am sorry. I am going to delete that old post of mine that was drudged up for this.
I still feel my main concerns with cohost as a platform are unaddressed. Idk if you guys noticed, but my focus has always been more so on how cohost let someone they're seemingly associated with blatantly violate their own rules.
If cohost is willing to play favorites, to give people a pass to break their rules that means they see their own TOS as more of a suggestion then, you know, a rule.
What I'm saying by this is, I wouldn't be surprised if Cohost runs into the same problem that Tumblr has. Where certain groups get silenced and banned for stupid fucking reasons. Since the moderators have a bias towards a group of people who abused a lot of my friends, it's not a platform I want to be on.
28 notes · View notes
rainbowsky · 3 months
Note
Dear Rainbow Sky,
I was the one who asked u the earlier question anonymously. I wish to send my heartfelt thanks to you for taking time to respond so fast even though I posted anonymously. Sorry for the long essay.
I did not know what is the right etiquette as I am new to tumblr (i created this account just so I could read your blog which I really enjoyed reading.) and IRL, I am just a middle aged asian lady who is not too internet savvy, stumbling into this, and honestly a little confused why I feel so emotionally invested in this, as you say!! (Sorry new turtle)
Wishing you a great weekend ahead! My thanks once again!!
🙏🙏🙏
This is in reference to a previous post.
Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛
Tumblr media
I have some advice for new turtles, so let's dig in.
Thank you for writing back, kaijumama, it is nice to be able to put a name to the message! No need to apologize or feel you've done anything wrong. I know I can come off as brusque sometimes, but I've gotten a lot of a certain tone of message lately and I'm trying to set some boundaries around what ends up in my inbox.
Anyway, I know what it feels like to be emotionally invested in GG and DD and their relationship. It is a difficult thing to explain to anyone who's outside of the fandom, but it's a feeling and a connection that builds, and sometimes it can become very emotional or feel very personal.
All I can tell you is, take your time, relax and find a region of turtledom that feels soothing and warm, and everything will rapidly improve for you.
When you are a new turtle it can feel like everything has a lot of significance. It can feel like everything is either proof they are together or proof they've broken up or never were together in the first place. I think a lot of turtles go through that phase and it can be a roller coaster.
It's important for all new turtles to realize that if a claim or narrative you're being told about GGDD or something relating to them makes you feel horrible about yourself and about being a turtle, chances are really good that it was intentionally crafted for that purpose by haters. Avoid, block and ignore.
Usually that experience becomes a lot more stable and relaxed as time goes by and you become more familiar with the fandom and with the various ideas and theories and bits of information we base our beliefs on, but getting there can be a struggle emotionally for people who are very invested.
All I can say to that is:
Enjoy GG and DD and their works. That should always be our main focus as fans. It has the added bonus of being very enjoyable and enriching to our lives.
Take your time to get to know other turtles, get familiar with relevant social media accounts, and get to know the core turtle content and theories.
Avoid and ignore anti messages (and if a message makes you feel like a bad person or like being a turtle is bad, it's an anti message - yes, even if it seems friendly. A lot of antis phrase things in a concen-trolling kind of way to get under people's radar). Block and ignore.
Exercise patience and restraint around new information and claims that seem unsettling. Don't immediately freak out. Take your time to learn more. Trust that if experienced turtles are not freaking out, tearing out their hair and crying, then everything's probably just fine. It's so easy to get sucked into despair and confusion as a new turtle because you don't yet know the significance or lack of significance of something. Experienced turtles do.
Use your feelings as a signal about where you should be. If you feel really bad and stressed out, you're probably in the wrong area or among the wrong people. Find a corner of turtledom that makes you happy and avoid the ones that don't.
Stick to turtle spaces at all times - especially if you're a new turtle. This is for your own well-being, so you won't get misled and abused by antis. That means staying away from all hashtags on Twitter (even bjyx and yizhan ones, because antis frequently post to those), this includes staying away from hashtags of GG and DD's individual names (staying off Twitter entirely, IMHO). Avoid all solo spaces, including GG and DD's individual supertopics and fan clubs. More on that here.
Do not engage in fan wars or arguments, especially if you're new. You'll get eaten alive, and nothing will be resolved. You're not going to change anyone's mind.
Understand that we will likely never be directly, clearly acknowledged or thanked by GG and DD as fans in a clear, unambiguous way. Quite the contrary, GG and DD will sometimes have to distance themselves from us for the good of their careers and to mollify solos. GG and DD give us what they can, but there's never going to be a grand public declaration of support and appreciation for us. The situation will never allow for that. GG and DD will always have to cater to solos above us, and that will always lead to solos feeling superior and being dicks to us. That's just the way things are.
Realize that part of being a turtle is being marginalized and hated. There are so many groups that will be out to get us. Homophobes, GG's solo fans, DD's solo fans, people who are against what they view as 'shipping real people' (I don't 'ship' anyone, I believe GG and DD are in a real relationship), people who think we are delusional creepy weirdos, people who are against fandom in general, people who hate celebrities and fan culture, people who hate GG and DD, people in our daily lives who 'don't get it' and feel annoyed by our fixation, etc. etc. It just goes with the territory.
Embrace uncertainty. This is not a fandom of knowns and for sures. GG and DD will almost certainly never come out and confirm their relationship. Most of the theories we have will never be confirmed or factually fully substantiated. We will likely always have to deal with a certain measure of doubt and uncertainty. That's just the nature of this fandom.
Remember turtles have shells. Build yours, because you're going to need it. Being a turtle is not for the faint of heart.
One important thing I can say to you and all new turtles:
Almost nothing we see about GG and DD will be significant to their relationship.
A lot of new turtles try to evaluate every bit of info about GG and DD through the lens of whether it proves they're together, or whether it proves they're not. In reality, almost none of the information we see will have any significance or connection to their relationship either way. Viewing things through such a lens is unnecessarily stressful and frankly a bit foolish.
They're both individuals first and foremost, so while it's nice to hunt for candy sometimes, it's also important to keep perspective and remember them as individuals who have their own lives. The vast majority of things we see/hear about have absolutely nothing to do with them as a couple. More on that toward the end of this post.
It's best to avoid seeing/interpreting everything through the lens of whether they're a couple or not. Most joy/pain extremes can be avoided that way. Just enjoy them and their works, and the rest will follow over time.
You might also find my fandom survival guide helpful.
As a new turtle you might also find my masterlist post helpful. A lot of older topics, common questions and background can be found there.
Here are a few posts I recommend for new turtles:
BXG Glossary
BXG Calendar
About Kadian
GG and DD’s projects
Is YiZhan real?
Which do you love more?
Proof they’re still together?
Fandom Survival Guide
BXG Fandom Etiquette
Why so much hate from solos?
“I came across a nasty rumor about them online”
53 notes · View notes
thedawnofcrime · 10 months
Text
ASSHOLE
POLL RESULTS
Note: if you don’t agree with trans people, don’t reblog. Instead go take a cold shower and maybe stub your toe on a metal table.
Earlier today I polled the LGBTQ and LGB hashtags to see if the general population of queer people accepted those who want to separate queer and trans people from the rest of the community. This wasn’t actually my goal, because I know perfectly well how you bitches operate.
I really didn’t care about the results from LGBTQ hashtags, because I know from legitimate demographic studies that most people, let alone queer people, do not agree with their sentiments.
What I did learn however is that their goal isn’t to separate the LGBTQ community down the middle, it’s to build their own hateful group and convince everybody else that they’re bigger and stronger. Their biggest tactic seems to be the abuse of language, by claiming homophobia when queer people refer to themselves as queer, and insisting that being against LGB groups is against all lesbian gay and bisexual people, they hope to victimize themselves when faced with even equality with trans people.
They spread my poll like the plague, reaching over 250 votes in a couple hours (thanks for that), and I couldn’t give less of a shit, because those votes came entirely from the group who already hates trans people. They REALLY want community, but without the icky trans people. They think our pride is tainted by grooming and fetishists, because they can’t look at a history book and realize homophobes have been saying that about them since the 1900s. Either way, don’t give them that community. Protest their groups and don’t show up to their pride, because there’s no pride in hate. Love thy neighbour unless they want to control your life, your gender and your language.
When you look at the poll demographics though, most votes came from under 0.5% of the queer community on Tumblr. Despite all they might say, the answer to whether trans people deserve to be in the community is a resounding
•YES•
The LGB hashtag has so few members that the numbers don’t even show up. Add the T and you go up OVER TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND.
You’re loud as fuck, but less like a crowd, and more like an angsty teen in their garage with an electric guitar and 3 speakers.
TRANS PEOPLE ARE HERE, AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, YOU CAN
✨ROT IN HELL✨
72 notes · View notes
cornyonmains · 2 years
Text
When I tell you that 2012 Tumblr did some damage...
People are really out here in the KP hashtags like, "I can't believe these career criminals suffering from PTSD, abuse, and generational trauma don't have healthy relationships."
I think it needs to be said that not all stories have to be about moving past trauma or pretending it doesn't exist. The reality of trauma is that sometimes you don't get past it. Sometimes your trauma is always going to inform who you are as a person, especially if you're constantly living that trauma.
It's outrageous to expect these boys to start having family game nights and living their best Wattpad found family fantasy lives, because that's just not what is in the cards for them. For some of these characters, the point of the story is even de-evolution. Porsche, Chay, and Pete all have respective paths to walk where they're going to have to let go of their sense of morality and justice to be with these men they love, who are unbreakably bound to the mafia world.
That's a beautiful love story in and of itself. It's twisted, it's desperate, it's hot, and complicated. Stop destroying narrative flow because a bunch of dork-ass centrists convinced everyone everything had to be puppies and sunshine 10 years ago. Those hoes couldn't even get a ball pit.
578 notes · View notes