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daviesroyal · 3 months

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daviesroyal's fanfic status update

I debated on whether or not I should make this post, because it's not like my fic writing is well-known or anything, but for the readers I do have I decided it's only fair they hear about it instead of waiting in limbo:

While I currently have no intentions to delete my fics from AO3, as the unrevealed collection is working well, I don't think I'll make them available again for a very long time, if ever. This isn't just about lore.fm (my last update) or Memento Archive, which was recently taken down (apparently from the flood of DMCA takedowns once enough authors realized what it was). Those are just symptoms of a larger problem.

There's a growing part of the fanfic community that feels increasingly entitled to an author's work. I'm not just talking about demanding authors write certain things, or how sites/apps feel perfectly comfortable stealing those works. I'm talking about how, when an author deletes a work (for whatever reason, they're not obligated to share that either), more and more readers will immediately solicit the wider Internet for repostings, downloaded files they never bothered to get when it was available, or any other way to get access to that work again.

I have no problem with downloaded files for personal use. I'm a fanbinder! I enjoy the process of fanbinding. However, the important part of that is that I'm only making it for myself, and I'm asking permission from the author to bind their fic (and offering gift copies, as is the custom in the fanbinding community) for anything I want to post about.

When those downloaded files get passed around in a public community like r/DeletedFanfiction on Reddit, or the fics are stolen and reposted on a site like Memento Archive, it stops being personal use and starts being illegal distribution. And before anyone starts quibbling about the legality of fanfiction, look up US Fair Use laws, and how AO3 got started in the first place, and all the legal cases they've fought to prove (legally!) that fanfic authors have legal copyright to the works they create.

It's also difficult for authors to express their frustration and distress about these methods, because the instant they do, a bunch of others will dogpile sentiments like "but what about the READERS!!" and "well if you didn't want your work to be taken out of your control you shouldn't have put it on the Internet" - all things that make it clear they consider the feelings of the reader (the consumer) more important than the creator of the work who did it for free. It's a terrible attitude to have, and honestly, comments like that have the opposite of their (likely) intended effect on me: any time I see those sentiments, I want to delete my work because I don't want to be part of a community that is increasingly treating artists like content creation machines that can never break, never stop, never take away things that they made, and should make content to their specifications.

I don't write for engagement. I don't even really post for engagement. If I did, I would post on multiple platforms to reach a wider audience. I post because I made something cool, that means a lot to me, and I wanted to share it with others if they thought it was cool too. But I'm not giving it to them. It's not a gift that I can't take back once it's out of my hands. It's never out of my hands, that's the point. It's more like a movie that I made, and all my readers got tickets to if they wanted, and it was also available for download if you want to watch it without going to the theater. But if I decide that movie shouldn't be showing anymore, I can take it down, and no one is entitled to go show it somewhere else, or pass around bootleg copies.

Despite my bitter apathy, I know this isn't the majority of the community. At the very least, I hope it's not. I hope it's just a very vocal minority. But that minority is growing, and as fanfiction becomes more and more mainstream, there are external forces (like lore.fm and Memento Archive and all the bots scraping AO3) that see these people as a market.

And that's terrifying.

That's something I don't want to be part of.

It puts me off not just posting fanfic, but writing it as well.

I hope that one day I'll feel good enough about writing fanfiction to finish the stories I currently have in progress, even if I never post them. I want the community to take a long hard look at this attitude and decide to course-correct, to get better. But right now, I have to take a step back, or all of this might ruin my love for fanfiction completely.

That being said! If you really enjoyed my work, and didn't get a downloaded copy before I put it in the unrevealed collection, please feel free to reach out to me here and I will send you a copy at the email of your choice! (Or if you want a physical copy I'm also more than happy to bind something to send to the physical address of your choice.) The only works I will not be sharing are Fate and Choice and Rebuilt Machinery of Our Hearts, as they are works I reposted specifically to AO3 with permission from the author.

#ao3 #fanfiction #fanfic #archive of our own #anti lore.fm #anti memento archive #entitlement #deleted fanfiction #fanfic authors have rights

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thelonesomequeen · 11 months

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You also have to know the area where they live it’s not full of teenagers taking pics. ///

I've never spent a lot of time in the East Coast. What are the demographics in Chris' general area? Families, college kids, young professionals, retirees? Can anyone who's more familiar with the area give me an idea?

Anyone? 🧜🏻‍♀️

Hello, decades long eastern Massachusetts resident here. The TL:DR of the area he lives in and has lived in suburban Boston area is just that, suburban. I'd call them sleepy suburbia in that they are all towns, not cities. No exciting nightlife (it's not NYC for instance).

I won't name which towns are most connected to him just as a matter of principle however they have populations of approximately 18 thousand, and 5 thousand. Mostly houses with families and lots of open spaces." Professionals? sure. Retirees? naturally. It's not farmland or anything just sleepy suburban. Kids trick or treat, teenagers do exist *le gasp* but they generally aren't the crazy stalker batshit ones anyways, oh and people do watch movies and have a full awareness of the world around them however, and listen to me closely on this, there is no paparazzi hanging out at Star Market just waiting on celebrities to come and get their fix of coco puffs! I personally have seen famous people and have just allowed them to go about their day like a normal human which they seem to appreciate.

Like take how my friends who work at different Starbucks' within the 128 belt, (closer to Boston and in Boston for those who don't know), sometimes tell me who's come in and what not but they don't stop them to take pics, they treat them like a human getting a coffee. Once in a blue moon a pic might pop up yes but it's *usually* after a pleasant conversation and having asked permission.

I myself live in a city here so there is more opportunities to spot people but, again, if...idk, I saw John Krasinski pumping gas next to me i'm not going to whip my phone out and take pics of him, in his face, without permission. My natural instinct is to smile, maybe say hi and if the opportunity presented itself, to say i enjoy his work or something to that affect. Boston is a lot more like that with people who live here or are from here. Now if they are presenting, or at a show (that they are involved with), or otherwise "working" yeah fair game take pics. But if they are just trying to get a bagel most people leave them be.

One more note, there's a famous story from when "Captain America: The First Avenger" came out and a girl was at her dentist and they were talking about the movie and the dentist said nonchalantly, "my son is in that movie", it didn't even click for her that he was talking about his son, Christopher Evans, until long after the fact.

Thanks!! 🧜🏻‍♀️

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shorkbrian · 4 years

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Taking the risk of scaring you I must go on w my Tama thirst. I just can find a blog to I welcome my twisted self 😭 so Tama... I just want to kiss every part of him, kiss him through his pants, give hickeys to his thighs and after I use him throatfuck myself (I'm sure he'd go limp), I'd just overstimulate him to the point he isn't shy to be vocal, I'd give his balls, inflated or not, much love!! then I'd beg him to go balls deep in a mating press but I'msureIdwastehisseedasIcanthelpbutrub

Bro I am incapable of being scared, there is no kink shaming here ever!

(What to expect - NSFW, safe, sane, and consensual. You’re hot for Tamaki and he’s BURNING for you babe. Body worship, hickies, throatfucking, overstim. Everything the ask contained basically lol.)

The thing about Tamaki, is that no matter how much he wants, anxiety takes over and stops him in his tracks.

His day is spent thinking of you, your sweet voice, pretty eyes, soft hands.... He’s always so distracted by his thoughts of you, it’s hard to get his job done.

But when he bumps into you, he’s a blushing mess, can barely talk, and usually ends up turning tail and heading somewhere else, just because he doesn’t know what to do. He’s afraid that you think he’s weird, or that he’s weak and limp and can’t compare to the brick houses that are Mirio and Kirishima. That he’s not a real man, can’t even build up the courage to talk to people for more than five minutes without freaking out.

God, you love him though.

So you’ll have to make the first move, have to invite him out for dinner or drinks. At first, he freaks out and shoots you down, stuttering out some excuse that doesn’t make any sense. But it’s obvious that he’s interested in you, so you ask Mirio how to get through to his friend.

Next time, you ask Tamaki to come watch a movie at your house, and Mirio is right there by his side, answering before Tamaki can blush and stumble his way through an apology.

“He’d love to! Friday night?”

Secretly, Tamaki would be thanking the lord for Mirio, but also cursing his existence at the same time. How was he supposed to survive being alone with his crush?

He was going to die.

The movie happened, then another, and then you argued that it was too late for Tamaki to go home, that he should just stay over.

And damn it, Tamaki didn’t know what came over him, maybe he was swayed by your eagerness, maybe it was because he himself was eager and wanting, but he said yes.

You offered to let him borrow a shirt, but it was obvious they wouldn’t fit, so Tamaki walked himself through the five second rule. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - and then he was stripping off his shirt, even though he felt anxious.

Would you laugh at his body? Mock him for being smaller than other heros? He had some muscle, but he was definitely on the leaner side.

To his relief, you breathed out a little sigh, an “oh-” that had the tips of his ears turning red at your tone of voice.

“Tama... can I-can I touch?”

He felt himself bobbing his head, gulping as you stepped closer, greedy hands rising to his chest.

At first contact, he felt goosebumps erupt down his arms, your fingers slightly cold upon his skin. You flashed him an apologetic smile, before suddenly leaning down, placing a small kiss right below his left clavicle.

Tamaki stuttered out an awkward laugh - he felt like he was short circuiting.

Somehow, the two of you ended up in your bed, in nothing but underwear.

The man was beet red, trying to be respectful and not ogle your chest, drool over your tummy, stare and lick his lips with his eyes fixed on the jewel between your legs, the beautiful flesh covered by thin panties.

But you directed his gaze with a soft hand under his chin, a gentle “Don’t you like how I look?”

And immediately he was bobbing his head yes, staring into your eyes when you smiled down at him, directing his gaze to your body with a wave of your hand, giving him permission to shamelessly gaze at your body.

You were so beautiful, he could look at you forever. Tamaki didn’t even know how he got this lucky, being able to share this moment with you, where you both appraised each other’s bodies with awe.

But you were impatient, crawling forward to gently push Tamaki onto his back. Your eyes flickered up to his as your hands ghosted over his chest, as you leaned down until your lips were mere inches from his skin.

“Is this fine? Tell me what you’re comfortable with.”

And oh god, oh god, this was more than okay. This was everything he could ever want, everything he could ever dream of.

At his enthusiastic nod, his “I’m-I’m good.... please.” You gave him a soft, loving smile, before touching your lips to his chest.

Kisses were placed everywhere, his chest, the quivering flesh of his soft tummy, his delicate shoulders. You peppered his slender throat with soft pecks, grinning when Tamaki unsuccessfully tried to hold back an embarrassing, keening whine when you closed your lips around his adam’s apple.

“Feels good? Tell me.” But he was too shy, shaking his head as his hands found purchase in your hair. He didn’t have the words to explain how you were making him feel.

You huffed at his forced silence, drawing away from giving little smooches, just so you could look at his face. He was sure his cheeks were red, eyes blown out and huge.

“Tamaki, I want you to enjoy this. If you aren’t feeling good, or wanna slow down, tell me. I don’t want to do anything you aren’t okay with, alright?”

Tamaki felt his heart clench a little - you were so careful with him, so tender. He nodded again, trying to find his voice.

“Yes, yes (Y/N)-this is good. I want.....” He held himself back. What if you weren’t comfortable with this? What if you wanted an out? He didn’t want to force you either, he wanted you to enjoy yourself. Right now though, his thoughts felt jumbled, like his brain was rolling around in a hamster wheel.

“What do you want Tama?” Your voice was breathy as you leaned down to whisper in his ear, and Tamaki almost came in his fucking pants when you nibbled at the lobe. His ears were so sensitive, and he was so embarrassed by the way his hips involuntarily shifted when you continued to give his ear attention.

“I want-I want.... um, more? P-Please?” God, his voice kept cracking, he felt like a teenager again, nervous and awkward and scared of rejection.

But you were there to alleviate his fears with a soft laugh, a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

And then you were kissing down his body, brushing past his boxer-clad erection-oh god.

Down to his thighs, which you parted easily, helped by Tamaki’s eager movements. He wanted to let you have all of him - just as you wanted to give him anything, he wanted to give you everything.

You latched onto a thigh, a few inches above the knee, sucking at the flesh with a smile, tongue circling and patting and it felt good-

Then you moved to a different area, higher up, intent on sucking a beautiful bruise into his pale skin.

Tamaki had to grab the sheets, already close to cumming from the sensation of your lips against his skin. He wanted you so much, you were so perfect. He tried to hold back his voice, keep his moans and gasps and sighs in check, but it was difficult. Still, he didn’t want to weird you out or anything, so he tried his best.

The man really wanted to hear your own voice, hear you talk to him, walking him through what you were going to do to him, what you wanted to do. Wanted to hear you moan and laugh and say his name over and over again until you couldn’t speak.

For now, he was content with watching you suck at his thighs, leaving messy trails of saliva as you got closer and closer to his dick.

You stopped at the hem of his boxers, teasingly licking over the fabric, before scrunching it up with your fingers, letting your nails scratch lightly against his sensitive skin.

“Oh-” Tamaki breathed, before shooting his hand up to cover his mouth, eyes trained on your mouth. You smiled, lifting your eyes to meet his own, and he-

You were so pretty, so beautiful. Tamaki felt so insignificant in your presence, so lucky. How did someone like you find someone like him attractive?

Those thoughts were quickly purged from his mind as you quickly closed your teeth around the skin of his inner thigh, close enough to his cock that when it twitched, it skimmed against your nose briefly. Tamaki had to tear his eyes away from yours, falling back on the bed to grasp at the sheets, breathing hard as he willed himself not to cum.

Working at the skin between your teeth, you sucked at the flesh, swirling your tongue around it, making sloppy little sounds. Tamaki was going to melt, he couldn’t stop thinking about your mouth around his cock, how your pink tongue would feel digging into his slit, drenching the crown, laving over the veins on the underside.

He was gasping now, a hand clutching his naked chest, eyes squeezed tightly shut, legs twitching.

You pulled away with a sultry chuckle, and this was it - Tamaki was going to get his dick sucked, Mirio would be so proud-

But you moved to his other thigh, starting at the knee again, licking and biting at the skin.

Tamaki didn’t know whether to feel frustrated or relieved.

The process was the same, teasing little bites, hard suction to purple the skin. It all felt good to Tamaki, but as you got close to his crotch, he found himself tensing up, wanting to clench his thighs together and rub his cock.

But you were leading now, and he wanted to follow.

Holy fuck, he wanted to touch his cock though. He was aching, boxers getting a little damp where his tip rested against them. Tamaki felt himself twitching, tender and wanting.

He couldn’t stop himself from reaching down, quickly palming over his cock as you got closer with you mouth, using your nails again to roll up the hem of his boxers, to right underneath his balls. They scraped over the globes slightly, and Tamaki’s thighs tried to snap shut, stopped by your body between them.

“Sorry, here, let me?” Your hand covered his own, and he let you move it to the side, unable to stop his chest from heaving. He was so worked up already, he felt like he had just finished running a marathon.

Instead of palming over him with your pretty, soft hands, you brought your lips to the bulge, kissing it quickly, drawing back and giggling when it twitched.

“Oh, please-please touch me.” Tamaki didn’t feel bad about begging at the moment, too caught up in the physical sensations, and you seemed to like his voice.

Without another word, you met his eyes, simultaneously opening your mouth and letting your tongue loll out flat. Still maintaining eye contact, you lowered yourself closer and closer, and Tamaki couldn’t catch a goddamn breath, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight before him.

You were so enthusiastic, licking at his cock through the material of his boxers, grabbing at the fabric with your teeth, pulling it back only to let it go, let it snap against his cock and make him keen. You went from soft, loving kisses to fast licks, closing your lips around part of it and sucking quickly, and Tamaki was losing it.

He was struggling to keep his hips down, to stop himself from thrusting into your face, chasing the heavenly feel of you. It felt so good, he didn’t have words, couldn’t even begin to quantify how he was feeling, other than good good good, and he wanted more.

“Don’t tease, please don’t tease. ‘M so close-” He gasped out, slim hands patting your head quickly, trying to catch your attention as he wiggled underneath your ministrations.

With a laugh, you pulled away, meeting his eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” Thumbs hooking into the waist band oh his boxers, you couldn’t stop yourself from pulling the band, letting it slap down against his skin and make Tamaki jerk and his lungs punch out a gasp.

“Can I take these off?”

“Yes, yes, anything. Just-just touch me please.” He stumbled over his words, face aflame. “But only-only if you w-want.”

“Oh-” you smirked, beginning to shimmy his boxers down his hips, licking your lips when you managed to free his cock. “-I want to touch so bad.”

And then his boxers were off, and you were gripping his cock with your fucking perfect hands, giving him a cursory stroke that was dry and rough but so fucking good.

“You’re so lovely, everything about you is so handsome.” You spit over his cock, and Tamaki fisted his fingers into the sheets as the saliva hit the head before dripping down his length.

You used your spit to slick him up, running your hands gently over his flushed cock, enjoying the squelching sounds.

Tamaki almost died when you put him in your mouth.

Lips pursing around the head, you twirled your tongue over his skin, lapping at the slit, digging underneath the rosy crown. Tamaki barely had time to process the sensation though, because you were sheathing his entire length down your throat.

“Oh-h god!” he yelped, hips bucking upwards before he could stop them. He felt so bad, you gagged a bit and drew off his cock, coughing. “I’m-I’m so sorry! I d-didn’t mean-”

“Do that again, fuck my throat Tamaki.” You rasped, immediately swallowing him down again.

What if he hurt you? What if-

He didn’t get the chance to be anxious.

You didn’t like how he wasn’t moving, his muscles tensed as he kept his hips still. Taking it upon yourself, you began bobbing your head, up and down, and Tamaki wanted to cry because it felt so good.

“I don’t w-want to hurt you, oh god, please wait!” He yelped, and you immediately pulled off, spit dripping down your chin.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry.” You breathed, patting his hip comfortingly. “I want you to do this Tama, I’ve practiced. No gag reflex, see?” You grabbed his hand, curling his fingers until only two were held straight, and promptly stuffed them into your mouth, pushing at his wrist so his fingers went as far down as possible.

Tamaki’s throat had never been dryer. It’s like he couldn’t speak, only dumbly nod his head as he felt your throat convulse around his fingers, all wet and velvety smooth.

You pulled his hand away, licking seductively at his fingers before letting go. “I want you to fuck my throat, please.” You were looking at him with such honesty, such desperation. “I want to suck you off and have you cum down my throat, want it to fill up my stomach Tama.”

The ravenette could barely nod, eyes glassy, chest heaving. He wanted that so bad, you sounded like a vixen, looked like one two, batting your eyelashes at him like that.

You settled between his thighs again, giving his cock a nice, lengthy lick on the underside before fixing Tamaki with a confident stare. “Don’t hold back, I want you to feel good.”

He was already feeling good, but if you insisted.

Cautious at first, hesitant, Tamaki was afraid of pushing too deep, moving too fast. But you grew impatient again, moving your own head while tapping his hip, encouraging him to speed up.

And he did, a bit, but he was still measuring his thrusts, trying to keep his head steady despite the tight suction of your throat.

You grabbed his hands, guiding them to your head, pressing them flat so he could hold your head. You looked up at him, completely stilling your movements, forcing your mouth as wide as it could go, fixing him with the most intense gaze.

Tamaki got the message.

He gripped your head tight, kept you in place before snapping his hips up, and you closed your eyes, as if you’d finally got what you had wanted.

It’s like his restraint flew out the window, now that he was confident that you wanted this, sure that it wasn’t hurting you. His balls slapped against your chin, a lewd rhythm of smacks and gurgles and wet sucking coming from your mouth.

Drool was dripping off your chin, onto his balls, over his taint. When the liquid touched his hole, Tamaki shouted, eyes suiting shut as his stomach flexed. He felt so good, this was more than he had ever dreamed of, more than he could've ever imagined.

And then he was cumming, probably far too soon, but you wouldn’t make fun of him, he knew that. He cursed, holding you flush against his hips, cock twitching against your tight throat as he shot his seed down your throat.

A few last desperate rocks of his hips, and then he was pulling you off, tiredly patting you face as you coughed.

“Are y-you okay?” And you, the angel you were, smiled, giving him a cheesy thumbs up.

“Couldn’t breathe for a second there, but that comes with the territory. Did that feel good though?”

Tamaki nodded, eyes closing blissfully. You were too good to him, too good for him.

Where did he go from here? Should he offer to finger you? He didn’t know how, he never thought he’d be in a situation where he’d be naked in bed with anyone, let alone you, a literal walking wet dream.

“You’re so quiet Tama-” You noticed, a hand stroking over his quivering tummy as he calmed down from his orgasm. “-I kinda want to hear you.”

With that confession, your mouth was on his cock again, slurping and suckling at the sensitive length.

“A-h-h! W-wait! God that’s too-fuck, no, wait!”

You pulled off quickly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “I’ll stop if you want me to, I’m not gonna force you to do anything, ever, okay?”

Tamaki nodded, cheeks flushing. “I just need... a moment. You’re-you’re good with your mouth.”

A smile graced your lips, and you tilted your head. “I still wanna hear you though, you’ve been holding back your voice this entire time. I like it when you lose yourself.”

Another nod, the man biting his lip. ‘I just don’t want to-to scare you off or anything. I’m loud, and I sound-I mean....” He averted his eyes bashfully “-My voice can get kind of-of h-high.”

That was embarrassing to admit.

You didn’t miss a beat, clambering forward until you were laying beside him, face even with his own. “But I like that Tama, I think it’s sexy when you lose control like that.”

The admission made Tamaki gasp, blushing even further, and you leaned in for a kiss, which the man eagerly returned.

“I-I think you’re sexy too.” Was his lame reply. He wished he was better with his words, could describe how amazing and beautiful and stunning you were.

Your hand fell to his cock, drawing him out of his self-doubt. You were pumping him gently, focusing more attention on his balls, lightly pinching the skin, massaging the flesh, before giving him another stroke.

“I wanna see you cum again, and this time, you’re gonna moan nice and loud for me, yeah?”

Again, you were whispering in his ear, biting at the shell, liking over the cartilage with your warm, slippery tongue.

Tamaki drew in a breath.

“And I don’t want you holding back any of your cute sounds. If you do, I’ll have to make you cum again and again until you’re too fucked out to feel self conscious.” The promise made Tamaki’s stomach burn hot with arousal, and his cock was starting to throb again, hastened along by your helping, smooth hand.

“I’ll-I’ll try.” He whispered, voice catching in his throat. He could imagine it now, him writhing in overstimulation as you sucked at his cock, holding his hips down as he cried and shivered and moaned about how good it felt.

“Then, I’m gonna finger myself while you watch, and when I’m nice and ready, you’re gonna fuck me.”

Tamaki felt like passing out, blood rushing down to his cock so fast that he felt all fuzzy and weak.

“I’m gonna lay back, and hold myself open, and you’re going to stick your pretty little cock deep, and you’re not gonna stop until you cum inside.”

The ravenette had never been felt more turned on in his entire life.

“Sound good?” Your voice was soft, sweet. he knew that you were giving him an opportunity to say no, to express any discomfort or unease he felt.

But Tamaki only felt lust.

With a sudden surge of confidence, he turned to his side, lips seeking out your own. He kissed you desperately, eagerly, probably clumsy but he didn’t care.

When he separated, he paused for a moment, breathing against you while he tried to find words to convey his excitement.

“Ruin me, (Y/N). Make-make me cry.”

#long one shot #consensual #tamaki amakiji #bnha tamaki #tamaki headcanons #tamaki smut #amajiki x y/n #amajiki tamaki x reader #fluffy #sweet #safe #and #sane #wholesome #bnha smut

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tryingmybestpls · 3 years

Text

Not A Team: Part 2- New World Order

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: The Reader gives a speech at the opening of Steve’s exhibit and has a talk with Sam following his speech.

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER, talks of death, talks of mental illness, feelings of isolation

Read Part One here

Listen to the playlist inspired by the series here

Y/N felt like coming here today was a mistake.

Her stomach tossed and turned like a stormy sea, threatening to send her breakfast all over Rhodey's shiny shoes. She was second guessing everything. Was her dress nice enough? Rhodey had told her she looked great, but she hadn't worn a dress since Steve's funeral-Oh God, what if he was lying to her? No, he wouldn't lie to her-but what if he felt bad? Jesus, dd her shoes look stupid? Maybe she shouldn't have worn heels-but then she always wore heels with dresses and if she wore flats that would look childish. Did her speech sound coherent? Fuck, what if she messes up. Would they think she was doing it on purpose out of retribution for what Steve did? No, they didn't know what Steve did, what he had done to her. What if-

"Hey, hey. What's wrong? You look like you're going to blow chunks." Rhodey cuts through her thoughts like a hot knife through butter. He puts his hand on her back, "Breathe, Y/N."

"Maybe this a bad idea, Rhodey. I mean they have Sam. I think Sam can handle this." She stumbles over her words, trying to calm herself down. Her heart was racing a hundred miles a minute and she swore her hands were shaking,

"You're going to be okay, but you need to relax. I've read and reread your speech a dozen times. It's perfect." Rhodey tries to soothe her, his hand rubbing her back. Y/N squeezes her eyes shut, working on slowing her breathing. In through her nose and out through her mouth.

"Hey pretty lady, I was wondering where the exhibit is. I'm supposed to be giving a speech there today." A voice calls out, sending Y/N's eyes flying open. She turns on her heels, being greeted by the sight of Sam walking towards them, holding the leather case that carries the shield. Y/N can feel the tension melting out of her shoulders as a smile spreads across her nervous face.

"Rhodey, I think they might be letting anyone speak here today." Y/N teases, the anxiousness slipping away, releasing its hold on her. Rhodey chuckles, shaking his head at his friend's antics. She hadn't seen Sam since the days following Steve's funeral and right now, he's a welcome sight. Sam rests his hand over his heart, feigning hurt as he gets closer.

"You wound me, woman." Sam jokes, smiling right back at her. They embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck as his go around her waist, "I missed you, kid."

"I've missed you too, Sammy." She murmurs back, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. They pull away and Sam smiles at her, the skin around his eyes wrinkling. Rhodey clears his throat, gently touching Y/N's upper arm.

"Hey I need to go talk to some people, alright?" Rhodey announces, almost as if he is asking permission. Y/N just smiles and nods, the smile staying on her face until he walks away from the two.

"How are you feeling, Y/N?" Sam questions, to which Y/N sighs, looking down at her shoes. She stays quiet for a moment, feeling his eyes on her.

"You want the truth or you want me to tell you what I tell Rhodey?" She replies, looking back at him. Y/N shifts from one foot to another, glad they were far from the crowd that was gathering. He gives her a look, giving her an answer without opening his mouth. She sighs again, twisting her wedding ring around her finger.

"I don't sleep, not really. I get maybe an hour a night if I am lucky. I-The house is filled with boxes that I can't unpack because-" Her voice cracks, her chest rising and falling quickly. She bites the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to not cry, "I thought that leaving the apartment would make him go away, but it didn't."

"Well Steve was always stubborn." Sam responds, making a laugh bubble out of her throat before she could stop it. There was an "I'm sorry" buried in the joke and Y/N knew it, but decided to only focus on the joke.

The stage looked daunting.

She forced herself up those steps, the person who had introduced her still had his hand outstretched towards her. Y/N wondered if she could make a run for it. Sure people will be mad at her, but she won't be forcing herself through this. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, the clapping nothing but a ringing in her ears. For a moment, her eyes landed on the giant banner of her husband, a lump forming in her throat. He was watching over her, his face emotionless as his eyes seemingly followed her every step. Cameras flashed as she stood on the stage, striding over to the podium. Once she stood in front of it, a hush fell over the crowd.

Y/N Rogers had saved thousands of lives. She was an Avenger and had faced countless foes. Hell, her wedding had more people in attendance than this event, but she still felt sick to her stomach. Y/N gave them all a smile as she forced herself to calm down, swallowing hard before speaking.

"To say that Steve Rogers was a special man is putting lightly. He was a hero that many of us, myself included, aspired to be one day. And while many of you only knew him as Captain America, I was among the lucky few that got to know him just as Steve Rogers. Now I could stand up here and tell you about every battle he won, how valiantly he fought-but everyone else is going to do that. Hell, you can read about it in the exhibit." Y/N chuckles, blinking away the tears in her eyes as the crowd laughs.

Y/N finds Rhodey and Sam in the crowd, both of them giving her smiles of encouragement. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see the diamond on her wedding ring sparkling in the light. It's the first time she's worn it in a while, but it felt almost right to wear it. Once again, she's pretending like Steve didn't leave her. No, Y/N is ignoring that completely, almost blissfully. These people only know Steve as Captain America, as a god-damned American hero. She isn't going to tarnish that, won't ruin his legacy. And regardless of what Steve did to her, she is still in love with him and she wants to talk about the man she fell in love with, not the one that hurt her. Y/N inhales and exhales shakily before continuing.

"Steve was so much more than just Captain America. He was my best friend and my husband. He was the type of man to pick up flowers for you just because. The type of man to tell you that you looked really pretty even though you were covered in dirt and ash. He would let me go on and on about things that didn't even matter, but with the way he paid attention you would think that I was telling him the secrets of the world. Steve loved staying in and having movie marathons-he-he had a list he'd carry with him to write down things he needed to learn about. Before we dated, he would text me randomly, asking me why Jar Jar Binks is hated so much or asking me to explain what emojis are. He never quite got the hang gof the latter." A laugh comes out of Y/N's mouth, the crowd following suit. There was a smile on her face, a warmth spreading in her chest.

"He's the man I'll be in love with until the day I die, but then I'll fall in love all over again because I'll be able to see him again. Steve was the sweetest, kindest man I've ever met and while I will always wish we had more time together, I was lucky to have him as long as I did. We were all lucky to have him." Y/N pauses again, her throat constricting with emotion, "Even though he's gone, Steve lived a long life-a life longer than some of us get and I am happy that so many different facets of his life is going to be explored and shared with so many people. I hope you all enjoy the exhibit. Thank you."

The applause that followed was almost thunderous. Y/N smiled as her heart slammed against her ribcage, cameras flashing as she made her way off the stage. She was glad it was finally over as she moved to stand next to Rhodey and Sam. Sam kissed her cheek before he climbed up the stairs to the stage. Rhodey rubbed her back, telling her quietly that she did great. She just nodded in response, her eyes on her friend, watching as Sam leaned the shield against the plexiglass podium.

"Thank you Y/N for making my job a lot harder." Sam teases, causing everyone to chuckle. Y/N smiles right back at him, shaking her head as her friend carries on, "Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered poising stoically. "

Sam's a natural at this, standing up there like its nothing. And while Y/N should be focused on the speech, her eyes keep drifting down to the shield at his feet.

"The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols...are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning. And this thing," Sam chuckles, picking up the shield, "I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up and he's gone. So, today we honor Steve's legacy, but also, we look to the future. So thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you."

Y/N feels sick to her stomach as she watches Sam hand the shield off. Her chest feels tight and she-she can't be here. There's a ringing on her ears and she can't breathe. Y/N pushes through the crowd, not bothering with pleasantries as she does it. A dozen emotions rack her body, causing her hands to start to heat up. She forces it down, deep down as she walks into an empty bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Sam gave away the shield.

He gave it away.

Like it was nothing.

And she wants to scream, wants to cry, but it won't come out. Y/N won't let it, not now when she is still in public. She walks over to the sinks, her hands gripping the counter. Her eyes are rimmed with red, eyes all watery. Her red painted lips press into a thin line as she forces herself to not cry, practically glaring at her reflection. What did her therapist tell her to do? Ah yes, breath in and out. In and out.

This was all too much way too soon. She couldn't handle this. She was being bombarded with memories and emotions already and now Sam giving the shield away? She felt like she was going to lose it. A part of her felt like she was overreacting. overthinking this whole situation. And maybe she was. Y/N did that from time to time. Tony had told her she was an expert of making mountains out of molehills. Maybe Sam just didn't want to be Captain America, didn't want to shoulder that burden. That was understandable. It was a shitty, shitty job-one that Sam didn't ask for. He shouldn't be forced to take on the mantle of Captain America, not when the previous owner had tossed it away so carelessly.

Yet, the bigger part of her was incredibly upset. Angry at the fact that Sam handed off the shield to be shelved in a museum. Overwhelmed by the amount of Steve that was everywhere. Confused over the multitudes of feeling that were swarming her body.

And there was nothing she could do about any of them. She just had to grin and bear it, just like she's been doing since Steve decided he much rather spend an entire lifetime with a woman he knew for a few months. So Y/N collected herself, blinked away her tears, and left the bathroom. Her feet had a mind of their own, carrying her towards the one place she didn't want to be.

The exhibit.

Steve's image is plastered on every single surface, telling the details of every part of his life. Scrawny Steve, bootcamp Steve, darling icon of patriotism during the war Steve, frozen Steve, Battle of Manhattan Steve, cartoon Steve punching Hitler, Steve during Sokovia, Steve on the run. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. He covers every single square inch, which makes sense because this is his exhibit. And while Y/N knows she should just turn on her heel and not put herself through it, she throws caution to the wall. She's already incredibly upset, so she might as well pour gallons and gallons of salt and lemon juice into that open wound. So she forces herself deeper into the exhibit, running straight into the very last man she wants to see at this moment.

"You know I wasn't expecting to find you here." Sam tells her as soon as her foot enters the next room. She keeps her mouth shut, so he adds "Rhodey is looking for you."

"You know on his right sleeve of his suits, right near his wrist, he had my initials stitched. He told me he wanted to carry a piece of me into every mission, into every fight." Y/N announces as she looks at a picture of Steve on a mission, most likely taken by Natasha. Sam sighs, walking over to her, wanting her to see his point of view.

"Look I know you're upset-" He starts, but is immediately cut off by a dry chuckle slipping out of Y/N's mouth as she walks around the room. She wants to lay in to him, wants to give him a piece of her mind.

"Oh I am far past the point of being "just upset", Wilson. It wasn't yours to give away. I-I don't care if you didn't want the mantle, but..." Her angry words trail off once she realizes what part of the exhibit she has reached, her face dropping.

Y/N stops in front of a part of the exhibit labeled 'Two Heroes United'. Her eyes roam over the pictures of her and Steve's wedding and the pictures taken throughout the duration of their relationship, so much more than what the file Rhodey had left detailed. So many smiles, so much happiness filling each and every picture. Her facade is cracking, chipping away as she forces herself to study every picture, studying their faces over and over, trying to see if there was something she had missed, if-if there was something she could have said or done to hold onto him a little longer. If there was something hidden behind his smile, behind his touches, they don't reveal themselves in the photographs.

She's just a footnote in his life, a blurb at the end of a long story. A tool to make him look like an all-American family man. Bucky and Sam had much larger parts of the exhibit dedicated to their roles in Steve's life and who they are outside of being Steve's friends. Y/N-well Y/N gets this, a paragraph saying that she was on the team and then married Steve. She is just haphazardly tacked onto the story of his life, a cute story to make people feel all warm inside. He got his happily ever after, they'll say-or they'll whisper to one another God she was so lucky to have him. They won't ask if she got her happily ever after or if she feels lucky now.

Sam got to hand off the shield, got to throw away the title of Captain America. He gets to keep on living his life after this, but Y/N-Y/N will always be Steve's wife. And it doesn't matter how many people she saved or what she did with her time on earth, she will only be know for being the wife of the man who abandoned her. Y/N's tied to him for eternity, stuck loving a man who decided to love someone else.

And then, just like that, something inside of her just snaps. Her facade fully crumbles, leaving her unable to mask what she's going through. Y/N's eyes fill up with tears and she's unable to blink them away before they spill over the edge, sending tears rolling down her cheeks. And as she stood there, crying in the middle of the exhibit dedicated to Steven Grant Rogers, a depressing epiphany popped into her mind.

The shield was the last part of Steve that she had that wasn't tainted in some way, a piece of him that she could still bear to see. And Sam had just given it away, leaving her with nothing but memories that would haunt her.

"I watched your speech. You did really good, Y/N." Her therapist praises, giving her a soft smile. Y/N nods, twisting her wedding ring on her finger. She had decided to start wearing it again, even though her feelings about Steve were still conflicted. While a part of her thought that this meant she was healing, Y/N knew it was more likely tied to the fact that Sam had given up the shield.

"It-It felt good." Y/N replies, shifting in her seat. She had thought it was a subtle movement, but Dr. Raynor gave her a look. After a few months of court-ordered appointments, the therapist knew Y/N all too well and she sure as hell knew when Y/N wasn't telling the truth.

"Something is upsetting you. What happened?" The doctor questions, clicking her pen. Y/N dreaded the noise. It meant a longer session, more bandaids being ripped off in order to force the wounds into the light. It would mean she would return to her home a little colder, a little emptier.

"Nothing happened. It-I had a good day. A good week." Y/N tries to reassure her, even going as far as to give her what she thought was a honest smile. Dr. Raynor held up her pad of paper, making a show of slowly bring the pen down to the paper. Y/N's smile falls and she looks down at her hands, letting out a small sigh.

"He-Sam gave away the shield. He gave it away like it was nothing." The ex-hero announces, feeling like a scolded child. Raynor lowers her pen and paper, settling back into her seat.

"And you feel like he shouldn't have?"

"No. No, Steve-Steve chose him. Steve gave him the shield because he knew that Sam was good, that Sam could handle it. And-And Sam just gave it away." Y/N stammers, picking at a thread that was hanging off her shirt.

"You know, I think that is the first time you have said his name aloud." Raynor mentions, causing Y/N to stop her movements. The thread is caught between her fingers, pulled taut. The doctor continues, "You always refer to Steve as 'he' or 'him' or 'my husband'. You never say his name."

"I don't think I was ready to be around...Steve. Not that much." Y/N tries to shift the focus, shame filling her, her face feeling hot. She knows she has her reasons not to say his name, but she still felt terrible about not being able to say his name.

"But you still spoke at the opening of his exhibit. I'm sure everyone would more than understand why you couldn't. So why did you decide on speaking?" The therapist asks, taking down a couple notes of her pad of paper. Y/N stays silent for a moment, letting go of the thread to start twisting her ring again.

"I-I don't know. Rhodey asked me and I-I guess I thought I could do it. And the speech wasn't bad I just-I wasn't expecting Sam to give away the shield." Y/N responds, her voice soft. She feels so small, sitting here on this charcoal grey couch. Y/N almost felt...stupid for being so angry at Sam. It wasn't his fault at all and as Y/N said everything out loud, she felt like such an asshole.

"If you would've known that Sam wanted to give the shield away, would you have stopped him?" Dr. Raynor replies, leaning forward slightly as she takes a few notes. Y/N feels herself sinking into the couch.

"I don't know. I-I wish he would have just told me so that we could've talked about it." She answers, looking out of the window. Dark grey clouds filled the sky, blocking out a lot of the sunlight that wanted to shine down on the city. Y/N didn't know if she would have actually forced him to keep the shield. That wasn't on him to have hold on to hat chunk of vibranium. It was wrong for Steve to have thrown that all on Sam. What would be the alternative? For her to keep the shield? Y/N highly doubted that the United States government would allow that.

Y/N was watering her garden when her phone started to ring in her back pocket. She quickly moves to shut off the water hose before she slips the phone about her pocket. Sam's name and picture appears on her screen, making uneasiness fill her stomach. Y/N exhales through her noise loudly before answering it, holding the phone against her ears.

"Have you seen the news?" Sam asks, not even letting her get a single syllable out.

"No, I've been outside-What's going on, Sam?" Y/N questions, making her way to the house. Something was definitely wrong. Sam never called her unless it was for emergencies. if they did communicate, it was mainly through texting. Her heartbeat started to race, as did her thoughts. A million different scenarios filled her head, each one worse than the last.

"You need to turn on the news right now." Sam replies as she opens the back door, quickly crossing the kitchen and walking into the living room. Her hands are almost shaking as she picks up the remote, turning the television on. Luckily for her, the last thing she had been watching was the news. Unluckily for her, she was greeted with a man holding the shield-Steve's shield, dressed in what looked like an off-brand, shitty version of the Captain America suit.

Anger filled her body. It had been four days tops since Sam handled off the shield and already, they had found their 'new Captain America'. The man in question was smiling smugly in the ill-fitting suit, waving at the camera, holding onto his shield tightly. God, Y/N wanted to beat the shit of the man and every single person who had okayed this. She could only hear bits and pieces of the speech as the news replayed it, but even that bullshit was too much for her to handle. She muted the television, tossing the remote on the couch.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?" Y/N exclaims, her hands getting warm. The Avenger was unable to get to anything articulate as rage filled her. She quickly put the phone on speaker, setting the device down just in case her hands caught flame.

"I know. I know. It's fucking bullshit." Sam replies, sighing. Y/N paced in front of the television, trying to calm herself down before she burned a hole through her rug. On the screen, the fake Cap was talking about something, a saccharine smile spread across his face. Y/N wanted to take that God damn shield and smash his teeth in.

"That asshole has my husband's fucking shield. They-He isn't supposed to be Captain America, okay? It's just not-It's not theirs to give away." Y/N's voice cracks towards the end, tears filling her eyes. While she wasn't Steve's number one fan, she hated that they had already chose someone to take up his title. If Sam wasn't going to be Captain America, then no one should be Captain America.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I wouldn't have given away the shield if I would've known...I'm sorry." Sam murmurs over the phone. Y/N covers her face with her almost glowing hands as she tries to control her breathing, not able to respond to Sam’s apologies. Her sadness and anger quickly shifted into something else.

Something inside of her switched on, something that she hadn't felt in a long time, not since she was a hero, back when she was an Avenger.

Y/N wanted to go to work.

------

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lokis-army-77 · 3 years

Text

If You Please

Chapter eight

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2900

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: angst but not really

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Masterlist

In the time that it took for us to make the long trek through the hills and woods, I had recounted the events of the past few months to Bucky. He walked beside me, holding my hand the whole time. He listened intently, asking questions when I paused for a breath. When I finished, Bucky was a little upset. Not at the fact that I had willfully allowed myself to be experimented on, but because I had joined a secret Government agency almost right out of high school and didn’t tell anyone.

I told him that I was sorry and that I would have told him if I hadn't been contractually obligated to keep it a highly kept secret. He forgave me quickly, saying that the only reason he was okay with it was that it allowed me to be able to see him. I shook my head lightheartedly. Bucky never was able to stay upset with me for long.

The sun had come up by the time our group made it back to the base camp. As we got closer and closer, I could feel a buzz of life going through the men. They were excited to be back in safe territory. The soldiers in the camp all came running to greet us as we made our way up the road. They all stood around us and cheered. Steve, Bucky, and I kept walking through the camp towards Coronel Phillips’ tent. The cheering quieted as we were met by the Coronel several yards away from the tents. Peggy was following closely behind the Coronel.

“Sir. Some of these men are in need of medical attention immediately.” Steve started. “We would also like to offer ourselves up for disciplinary action.” He glanced back at me as he made the comment. I gave him a nod in agreement. I didn’t fear the consequences, we had done the right thing and that was all that mattered.

“That won’t be necessary.” Philips started and walked away.

More and more soldiers continued to gather around us until all I could see were cheering men. Loudly one of them shouted, “Let’s hear it for Captain America!” The crowd went into an uproar at that, and it seemed like everyone started to clap Steve on the back. Bucky and Steve gave one another a quick look before they started to argue with the men that I had also helped in rescuing them, but none of them would listen.

“Guys stop it, it doesn't matter if they believe I helped or not,” I stepped in before their arguments could get heated.

“Don’t say that. I couldn’t have done any of this without you, they need to know who helped get them to freedom.” Steve argued.

"Yeah Doll, they should know who helped save them,” Bucky chimed in.

I just stood there looking at them. “I don’t care if they believe I helped or not, just let it go. I really only went to find out what happened to Bucky, and since he's okay, I’m content.” I started walking away from the crowd after that, Bucky not far on my heels. “Let's go, Buck,” I stuck out my hand to grab onto his, “I’m ready for a shower and some good sleep.”

After a few days of recuperation, the camp was packed up. Most of the 107th, high commanding officers, and Steve, Bucky, and I, were taken back to London. While the rest of the base went onwards, closer to the front lines.

Steve and I were brought to one of the several secret underground bases to relay all the information we could remember about the night we took down the HYDRA base. Steve was currently marking the locations of other HYDRA bases he had seen on a map hanging in Zola’s office. I sat off to the side of the table watching quietly, not really paying attention. I was brought back to reality as the map was yanked out from under my elbow. I looked up and noticed Steve and Peggy walking away. I quickly got up and followed them over to the large map laid out in the center of the room.

“These are all of the weapons factories that we know about. Sergeant Barnes said that they ship all the parts out to another facility that wasn't shown on the maps.” Steve informs Peggy and Coronel Phillips.

“Agent Carter, get in touch with MI6, I want all allied eyes looking for the main base,” Philips commanded.

“What about us Coronel?” I questioned.

“We are going to go after Johann Schmidt. What do you call Captain Rogers? It’s your map, can you wipe HYDRA off it?”

“Yes Sir, I do. I’ll just need a team to do it.” Steve confirmed.

“We already have the men picked out.”

“With all due respect Coronel, I do too, and it includes my sister.”

Later that night Peggy and I were dressing up to go out. All the men had chosen to go to the bars and we both took this as a chance to at least pretend for a little while that the war wasn’t going on. I heard Peggy walking into the room as I finished pinning a few curls at the back of my head.

“How do I look?” She asked. I gasped as I turned around, I had never seen her in anything but the military blouse and skirt. The red knee-length, fitted dress made her look more beautiful than she already was.

“You look stunning. What about me?” I stood up and did a small twirl. The fabric of the dark royal blue dress flared out slightly as I did so.

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” She smiled at me. I gave her one back.

“We should be on our way, wouldn't want to keep the boys waiting.”

I could hear the music from the sidewalk as we approached the bar. Peggy pushed open the door and led us in. We had walked through several rooms before the singing of the soldiers slowly came to a stop and everyone glanced in our direction. I spotted Bucky and Steve sitting at the bar. They both stood when they saw Peggy and me. Bucky had the biggest smile on his face as he came towards me.

“You look beautiful tonight.” he leaned in to kiss my cheek. I pulled away in feign offense.

“Just tonight?”

“You know what I meant.” he gently shoved my arm. I laughed and wrapped my hand around his neck to pull him in for a light peck on the lips.

Peggy had moved closer to Steve before she explained to us that Stark had some new equipment for us to try out tomorrow morning. Steve and I had only just agreed to be at the base when Bucky was dragging me over to a small open space to dance.

He wrapped his hands around my waist and I placed mine around his neck, pulling us closer together. We swayed to the gentle music, completely enamored with one another. His under eyes were still dark from the exhaustion he faced at the Hydra base. He looked completely drained.

“Bucky, Sweetheart, you look absolutely exhausted. Why don’t we go back to the hotel where they have me set up? I’m sure that bed is way more comfortable than those cots they make you sleep in on base.” I suggested.

He pulled away slightly, only enough to look down into my eyes. “We can in a bit. I just want to have a little mundaneness before the whole ‘take HYDRA down’ mission starts.” He pulled me back in and softly pressed his lips to the top of my head.

I stay quiet after that and just enjoy being wrapped in his arms, swaying to the music. It had been months since anything remotely normal had happened in my life. We danced to three more songs before Bucky decided he was ready to leave. When the last song ended we made our way over to where Steve was sitting.

“Hey, we’re going to head out. He’s in desperate need of sleep and I'm taking him back to my hotel room for the night,” I told Steve, who stood up and shook his head.

“No, I'm not letting that happen,” He argued.

“Steve relax, nothings going to happen, we’re just sleeping.”

“I said no. No boys, not even if you are engaged.”

“Sorry but he's been sleeping in my room with me for the past two years so..” I trailed off.

“Two years?” He raised his voice a little. “How long has this been going on?”

“Calm down, there's no need to yell. We got engaged two years ago, in October. I meant to tell you, I really did, but I just could never find the right time. I was even going to tell you when we started dating but I knew how you thought Bucky was when it came to relationships. I can assure you he has been nothing less than loving, and kind to me. I’m sorry that we kept this from you and I hope you understand.”

Steve just stood there, processing what I had just told him.

“Look, Steve, I really do love her, and I know I should have asked for your permission first before I proposed but it just happened that way. I just, I just love her so much and I can’t imagine life without her by my side. So I’m asking now if I have your permission.”

Steve crosses his arms and looks between the two of us. He stayed quiet for several seconds before he replied. “I give you my permission, only because I trust my sister's judgment and I know you’ll be able to take care of her, not that she can't take care of herself.”

“I promise I’ll take care of her until I die. Once this God-forsaken war is over we were planning on having the wedding.”

“Okay, but I still don’t want you two sleeping in the same room alone.”

“Come on Steve, I said we weren’t going to do anything.” I gave out a small chuckle, thankful that the whole argument had blown over quickly. “Let’s go, Buck.” I pulled on Bucky's hand and headed to the entrance doors. I turned back to Steve and gave him a wave before going through the door.

The walk to the hotel was short and quiet. When we reached the building, Bucky denied that he was tired the whole way up to my room, but once we made it through the door and he had taken off his uniform he was laid out cold on the bed. I covered him up with the duvet before I went to the ensuite bathroom to get myself ready for bed.

When I finally laid down next to Bucky, I felt him automatically gravitate to my side. His arm came to rest around me and he buried his head in my chest. I just smiled and gently played with his hair until I also fell into a deep sleep.

Early that morning, before the sun had risen, I woke up to Bucky violently tossing and turning in his sleep. I quickly sat up to try and calm him down.

“Bucky, hey, I’m right here,” I whispered to him as I gently stroked his hair. In his sleep, he held onto my waist tighter. All I could do was sit there and wait for him to wake up. His nightmare went on for what seemed like forever before he finally woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He picked himself up from his stomach and sat up, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, and then he placed his head in his hands.

I crawled my way over behind him and placed my hands on his bare shoulders. He stayed quiet as I massaged away the knots. We stayed like this for a while before he placed his hands on mine, stopping my movements. I then wrapped my arms around him and gave him a tight, comforting hug.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. He just shook his head and let out a shaky breath. I let go of him when I felt him start to scoot himself back up into the bed. I watched him wearily lay down on his back. He held his arms out to me motioning for me to come to him and I did. Nestling into his side I felt him start to slowly twirl the ends of my hair around his fingers.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.” He whispered into my hair.

“It’s alright. I would rather you wake me up than for you to have to deal with the nightmares by yourself.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“You may have mentioned it on occasion.” I laughed. “I love you too. Do you think you can get back to sleep?”

“I think I’ll sit up for a bit, you go ahead and get some rest.”

“Okay, but if you need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to wake me up. I mean it.” I shut my eyes and snuggled in closer to him. His breathing slowly went back to normal and I fell back to sleep to the rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his heart beating.

Later, when the city had fully come alive, Bucky and I got dressed and went our separate ways for the day. He went with me to the entrance doors of the hotel and kissed me goodbye before he turned to walk down the street. I watched him walk a way before he turned and gave me a wave. I waved back before I started down the opposite street.

The base was only a ten-minute walk from the hotel so I made it in no time. Going through the doors I made my way down to Howard’s lab. I spotted Howard and Steve talking at a table with several shields on it. I watched as Steve bent over and grabbed one from the bottom shelf. Peggy came into view as I started down the small set of stairs into the room. She came to a stop when Steve asked for her thoughts on the shield he was holding. She grabbed one of the guns from the table beside her and shot at the shield. The bullets ricocheted to the ground and Peggy stated that it in fact worked. She sat the gun back down and walked towards Steve and turned sharply now walking at me. When she got within arms distance of me I stopped her.

“What was that all about?” I gave her a quizzical look.

She just gave me a passive-aggressive smile and said, “Ask your brother.” She stormed out of the room after that, leaving me to interrogate Steve.

“Steve, what did you do?”

“I have no clue.” he exasperated.

“Well, you had to have done something. What happened before I got here?”

“Well, I was waiting to come see Howard when this one lady kissed me, and then Agent Carter started acting weird after that.” I gave him a look of defeated astonishment and brought my hand up to rub my temples.

“God Steve you’re so clueless. That’s literally why she's upset.”

“But why does that matter?”

“Because Steve, she likes you and you kissed someone else right in front of her.”

He stood there with his mouth gaping. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I can’t believe you did that.” I shook my head. I stepped past him and went over to the other side of the table where Howard was. “Now, what's all this about having some equipment to try out?”

Howard turned to the table that was behind us and grabbed a long metal staff. He turned back to face me, holding out the staph. I took it from his hands and gave it a small twirl. “Stark, what's so special about a staff?”

“It isn’t just any staff, it's a two-piece bo staff. I had a talk with some of the trainers at the base in New York and they said you were exceptionally skilled with it. It's made from one of the rarest metals on the planet. It's practically indestructible.” He gave me a look. “Well don’t just stand there Rogers, give it a try.”

Strolling over to a section of the lab that was free of people. I started to spin the staff in my hands, going faster and faster. Using the momentum from the spinning I lunged forward and struck the staff at an imaginary opponent. I looked up and back at Howard and Steve.

“It’s a little lighter than what I’m used to, but it will work.”

“I'm glad it will work out. It took me forever to acquire a metal like that.”

Steve came over at that point, with a piece of folded paper in his hand. Holding it out to Howard he said, “I had some ideas for my suit. I even have some drawn sounds for hers as well.”

“I am not wearing a suit. I'll be just fine in my regular uniform.” I interjected.

“If you’re going to be coming with me to fight HYDRA then you need to wear a suit, for my peace of mind at least

“Fine, for your peace of mind.”

Tag list: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @underc0vercryptid-reads @geek-and-proud @intothesoul @leyannrae

#james buchanan barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x rogers!reader #winter solider x reader #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction

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awritingtree · 4 years

Note

Hii love! Here to join your celebration. I'm asking for a ship (couldn't find the emoji). I'm a Slytherin, so my personality kind of fits the traits (ambitious, determined yk). I'm also the mum friend that takes care of everyone (except myself yikes). I'm an introvert but if you ask me the ✨right✨ questions I won't stop talking. Pretty competitive too, sarcastic but a hopeless romantic (waiting for my isaac or stiles). I feel like I overshared but it's done so...

Don’t deserve that

James Potter x reader

Summary: Nothing ever got in the way of James Potter and Y/N Y/L/N’s friendship. Well that is except James’ stupidity and obliviousness

Words: ~1.4k

Warnings: fluff, James being an idiot (what’s new?)

A/N: this is short and shitty and I wrote it in an hour while watching a movie so just, I’m sorry :/

To April: I screeched when you mentioned Isaac and Stiles. I actually got super inspired and kind of turned this into a small fic I hope you like it :)

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James Potter was someone that was present in the earliest memories you had of your life. Your parents had been good friends since Hogwarts, and it was no surprise that the friendship extended to their children too. Your friendship was as strong as it got, never wavering even when you got sorted into Slytherin, and it continued to strengthen as the years passed by. You’d become good friends with the rest of the Marauders as well, though Sirius was skeptic about you at first being a Slytherin and all, he’d warmed up to you in no time.

James and you were like two peas in a pod, never able to stay away from the other for too long. Going more than one day without talking to other was impossible which was probably why your arguments never escalated further into something serious. The only time the two of you seemed to butt heads was when it came to Quidditch, with James being the Gryffindor captain and you being the only girl in his rival’s team. Time leading up to a Slytherin vs Gryffindor were always tension-filled throughout the castle and this extended to your friendship too; the playful quips and brags to the other about how they were planning to celebrate their own victory and the others’ loss. But there was no other bigger supporter of James than you and of you than James.

Being such good friends with someone like James, you weren't really surprised when you started developing feelings for him. In fact you welcomed the non-platonic feelings with open arms, always being a hopeless romantic through and through. The idea of falling in love and spending the rest of your life with your childhood best friend was something you had dreamed about since you were a young girl. Though at that time you never thought it would’ve been James, even though he was the only viable option, you weren’t complaining.

Some people would say you’d never work out being polar opposites, the quiet Slytherin and the loud Gryffindor. But a few others knew better, that was made you so perfect for each other. James brought you out of your shell and you helped ground the hyperactive childlike man.

Lately you felt that James had been pulling away from you; leaving when you entered a room, making excuses to skip out on the plans he’d previously agreed to, barely acknowledging your presence when you were hanging out together in a group. Were you under the impression that maybe, just maybe, James Potter might return your feelings? Yes, you were. But apparently it was all your imagination. You weren’t really hurt but more so sad and disappointed because of his actions.

You entered the Great Hall one evening after classes and headed towards the rowdy boys you called your friends. Sirius spotted you first, waving you over enthusiastically. You grinned widely, practically skipping over. Before you could sit down, James stood up, muttering something about sending a letter before dashing out. You frowned and sat down next to Remus, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Why does he hate me?” you asked sulkily, believing that you had officially lost your best friend.

Remus patted your head, “He doesn’t hate you.”

You scoffed, lifting your head, “Really? Then why does he seem to run away every time I’m around? I wish he would just talk to me! Tell me what’s wrong.”

Remus and Sirius glanced at each other. They knew exactly what the problem was, their brother was head-over-heels for a girl who was head-over-heels for him; the only problem was that neither wanted to believe the other did.

Sirius reached over the table, placing his hand on yours hoping to reassure you, “It’ll be okay love.”

You smiled weakly at him, “I’m not really hungry. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Sirius and Remus worriedly watched you leave and decided that enough was enough, they needed to talk to James.

A few days later, you exited the Great Hall, finally done for the week. You couldn’t wait to spend the rest of the weekend lying in bed, catching up on sleep and avoiding the rest of the world.

“Y/N! Wait!”

You stopped, turning around, shocked, due to the boy approaching you. His jet-black hair was a mess as usual, his glasses lopsided on his face as he ran towards you.

He stopped in front of you, shoving his hands into his pockets as he bounced on his heels, “Can we- can we talk?”

You nodded, too surprised to come up with any words. He led you to an empty classroom, walking next to you in silence. You stood in the middle of the room, staring at him as he paced around the room, running his hands through his hair making it messier than usual if that was possible, rubbing his face. You stepped forward, putting a stop to his worrisome behaviour.

“What is it? You’re worrying me,” you said, your eyebrows furrowing.

James looked into your eyes, opening and closing his mouth seeming to not be able to utter the words he wished to speak.

“You can tell me anything. I know we don’t talk much anymore but I really hoped it wasn’t this bad,” you said in a very poor attempt at lightening the mood.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” James whispered, a regretful look on his face. “I’ve been acting like a downright arse. It’s not even your fault but I took it out on you. I know I shouldn’t have but I didn’t know what else to do. I thought that this was the better option than telling you….”

He trailed off at the end of his rant, eyes widening as he realized what he’d accidentally said.

“Tell me what?”

James shifted his eyes away from you.

“Tell me what James?” you persisted.

James sighed, his hands moving to grab yours. He watched your hands in his, playing around with them as you waited patiently for him to speak.

“I li- no, I love you. And I think maybe I always have. That’s why I’ve been pulling away. I thought if I distanced myself then these feelings would disappear, but they haven’t. If anything, they’ve grown. It feels like my chest is about to burst open from the amount of love I feel for you, showering the world around me in sunshine, flowers and music. And I know you don’t feel the same and that’s fine. I just don’t want this to ruin our friendship, we’ve known each other literally all out lives and I can’t bear to lose you. You mean too much to me,” he paused taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have treated you that way. You don’t deserve it. I’ll do anything, anything, to make it up to you.”

You smiled at him sadly, “You’re right. I don’t deserve that, but I understand. I understand why you did what you did. I think I would’ve ended up doing the same thing soon if I didn’t get a clue that you felt the same.”

James head snapped up, stunned. “Did you just-? You mean to tell me you-?”

You giggled at his fumbling, nodding your head. James did not waste any more time, pulling you flush against him, his hands wound up around your waist. Your lips were barely a centimeter apart, his breath fanning your face sending shivers down your spine. His hazel eyes searched yours seeking permission. You answered his question by pressing your lips against his, your eyes shutting in response. Your lips moved against his surprisingly soft lips; he tasted like heaven, the scent of polish and butterbeer overwhelming your senses. You sighed against his lips in happiness, pulling away. Your eyes remained closed as your forehead rested against James’, giving yourself some time to catch up with what had happened. James began to chuckle causing you to start to giggle as well. You opened your eyes and burst out laughing as soon as you looked upon each other.

Once you started to calm down, his eyes connecting to yours, “I love you,” James whispered, a love-sick look in his eyes.

“I love you too.”

400 followers celebration

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sillyrabbit81 · 4 years

Text

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3.8k

Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death,

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 17 Part 19

Part 18

It was a crazy week, and by Wednesday, I had had enough and wanted it to be all over. It was the last day of school for the term. The kids were rowdy, and it was hard for them to concentrate. I gave up structured lessons after the morning session, and we did Easter craft. Still, even craft was hard for my kids. Most of them can't use scissors without assistance or had to use modified ones set into a wooden block. It wasn't a bludge, but it was much less stressful for both the kids and myself.

I had playground duty at lunchtime. Some of the older mainstream kids had heard about Liam, and a few would walk past me and sing the theme song to his superhero movies. Others would have a conversation with me and sneak in a movie quote. Lucky for me, most of Liam's films weren't appropriate for children, so there were only a few they could use. The kids would run away giggling, and I would shake my head. I wasn't upset by it, kids are kids, and at least they made their fun to my face.

The parents were awful. The mums would go quiet when I was near them, and I would hear laughter or whispering as I walked away. The dads looked at me just that little bit longer, making me feel uncomfortable. I just tried to remember Liam's arms around me, the way he made me feel safe in his arms. I found myself touching my earrings a lot. They soothed me.

The worst part was the other staff. Not all of them, just a couple of the younger ones and newer ones. Their eyes seemed to bore into me in the staff room and in meetings. The ones who had been here when Andy died were good. They appeared to be on the same page as Marla had been. The rest of the support class teachers and TA's were kind. They actually asked me to my face about it, seemed happy for me, and then that was it they moved on.

My boss, Michael, did call me into his office on Monday afternoon. He was good about it mostly, just concerned because apparently, the office staff had received a few phone calls from a couple of media outlets trying to get in contact with me. The staff were good enough to hang up on them. I was honest with Michael and said I didn't know what my plans were, just that we were dating. I did tell him about how it would be official on Thursday, but it worked out well because the office would be empty for two weeks, and by then, I'll be old news.

When I spoke to Liam on the phone, I had told him about how I was feeling. I was honest about it as much as I could be.

Liam was empathetic and seemed sincere when he said I didn't have to go. "If it's too much, we can wait for another time. The dress you have will be as good in a few months as it is now. Or we can return it all and try again later." Cheekily he said, "I'll let you keep the earrings."

I declined. I wanted to get it over with. I figured the quicker it was done, the quicker no one would care, and I can go back into hiding. It was like ripping off a band-aid. Just do it.

When I had gotten home from work on Tuesday, I had decided to do the hardest thing of all. I called Andy's mother.

Anthea was born in Greece and immigrated to Australia with her family in her early teens. She had met Andy's dad, Tim, a white Australian with Irish heritage, and they had a beautiful marriage. They had five children, three boys and two girls. Andy was the youngest son and was the unofficial favourite. She had always been lovely to me. She always called me Little Lana and would always hug me and insist I ate. On my birthday, she would make me galaktoboureko. She still calls me for my birthday and invites me over for Orthodox Easter and Christmas. I don't go, but I always make sure to call and send presents for my two godchildren.

"My Little Lana," Anthea gushed. "It is so good to hear from you. How are you going? Tim, Lana is on the phone! He will be so happy you called. Yes, Timothy, it's Lana. Yes, Tim says g'day. How are you? We miss you. How is work? How are your precious children? You do such good work, Little Lana."

Did I mention she talks a lot? She was one of those people who seemed to speak without having to take a breath.

"Hi Anthea, I'm doing well. Work is great, really good. I have a great bunch this year."

"Yes, you sound happy, Little Lana. Your new boyfriend must have something to do with it? He is very handsome. Not as handsome as Kamari mou but handsome. I showed all my friends, and they tell me you are still so beautiful and your hair is still so pretty and long. So long now. You've grown it."

I was stunned. I tried to talk, but the lump in my throat was so big, I couldn't swallow. I tried to say something, but all that came out was a huge sob, and I broke down.

"I'm sorry, Anthea, I am so sorry."

"Why are you crying? Stop it. Alana, why would I be upset? Why are you crying? Don't cry, silly girl. You should be happy. I do not expect you to be wearing black, like an old lady from my old country, for the rest of your life. I know you loved my son. but you're too young to grieve forever."

"I wanted to call you and tell you, but it happened so fast." I was still crying, but it wasn't so bad now. Anthea had comforted me in a way that I hadn't even known I needed. That she still loved me when I had started dating another man was incredible to me.

"You shhh, Little Lana. Listen to me. You have obviously called me for permission whether you know that's what you were doing or not. You have it, my blessing. Kamari mou wanted you to be happy also. He would not want you to be alone forever. You know this. Go speak to him, speak to Andy, and you will know."

"Thank you, Anthea."

"There now, Little Lana, you will be ok. Now no more speaking of sadness. I must tell you all the wonderful news. You will be an Aunty again soon."

Anthea talked to me for a little over an hour. Talking to Anthea was being talked at, but I needed it. I promised to call her again soon. She, of course, invited me to Easter but didn't expect a reply.

I felt lighter after talking to her. She was right. I had needed to know from her that she was ok with it. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been. I don't think I would have ended it with Liam. I think I was in too deep, but it would have been much harder to go on.

Anthea was right about something else too. I needed to talk to Andy.

So after school on Wednesday, I drove to the cemetery. I went and saw my Dad first. I didn't have much to say to him. I just sat there and let the memories come to me.

I remembered when I was six, and he shaved his moustache off, and I hadn't recognised him. I had run screaming to my Mum that there was a stranger in the house. I remembered how he would take us to see the fireworks on New Year's Eve, getting there early to get good spots and watch in awe as the fireworks exploded over Sydney Harbour. Nothing was as breathtaking as my home city on New Year's Eve. I thought about how he loved David Bowie, and he had even convinced my mother to name my brother after him. Dave and I had taken Dad to see David Bowie a few years before he passed away, and it was one of the most incredible nights of my life. The Labyrinth is still my favourite kid's movie, and Jareth was my first crush. He looked so good in those tights.

I went to see Andy. I don't see him very often. I go on Boxing Day, his birthday and our anniversary. As had become my ritual on those visits, I had his old phone and listened to his playlist. I laid down on the grass next to him and looked up at the sky. After a while, I started talking.

"Hey Butthead," I started, smiling as I said our private nickname. "I've got some things to tell you. First of all, I miss you. But surely you know that. And I know you know I will always love you. You were such a beacon in my life. A light for me when everything else was dark. I was like a moth to your flame. You drew me in, making me want to be close to you. You always made me feel like everything would be ok if I just stayed in your light. Things were so dark when you were taken from me. For so long, I felt nothing. Everything was dark.

"But then I started feeling better. I still missed you every day, but I wanted to find that again. Feel that love and safety again. I started dating about six months ago. Online mostly, you know, how the kids do it these days. I went on a few dates but felt nothing. Or if I did feel something, I felt like they weren't as good as you. Why would I settle for anyone who wasn't as good as you?

"I don't mean the same as you. I mean someone who moves me the way you did. Someone who showed me kindness like you did, someone who made me laugh, made me feel giddy. Someone I was attracted to. But also someone I wanted to do things for, someone who I wanted to go out of my way for, not because they forced me, but because I wanted to because I knew they would do it for me.

"I was about to give up. I only tried dating for a few months, but it felt so futile that I didn't care anymore. Then this guy started messaging me. He was sweet and funny, a Pom, but don't hold that against him. Anyway, I liked him instantly. It scared the shit out of me. I made him wait three months before I agreed to meet him. I was so scared because I knew I could fall for him.

"And when I met him, the sparks were there. It was instant. He was all the things I wanted. He's not like you. You're both very different. I mean, he doesn't like Mad Max for God's sake. But he makes me feel the way you made me feel. And Andy, I am falling for him."

*********************

"Lana, hold still." Jen was pulling my hair. I looked over at Riza, who was covering her mouth with a magazine. Her shaking shoulders gave her away, though, and I could see she was laughing her arse off. "I only have a couple more to do, and then you can go home and sleep."

I was at Riza's place. I had to see Jen after I spoke to Andy. Jen wanted to put my hair in pin curls. She had washed my hair and then got started pinning small sections of my already curly hair into curls.

I thought it was weird, but she said the hair has to be curled in the right direction for the style to work. She also said that the longer the curls were in, the better the result. That's why I was at her place, getting my hair done 24 hours before the event. How do celebrities live like this?

"How the hell am I going to sleep in this?" Riza's dropped all pretence and was laughing openly at me now. "Get bent, Riza."

"Hey! You're the one who looks like a 1950's housewife right now."

"1940's babe," Jen admonished. "Get it right."

When she finished, she wrapped my hair in a silk scarf. "Did you buy me an apron to go with the barefoot in the kitchen look?" I asked.

Jen laughed. She knew me well enough to know it was a joke. "Trust me. You're gonna love it."

"So when do I take the clips out?" I asked Jen.

"Not until I do your hair."

My eyes bulged. "I'm going to Liam's place hours before you're going to get there."

Riza pissed herself laughing, and Jen just said, "trust me."

When I got in bed, I rang Liam. I Facetimed him. Maybe if he laughs at me now, he won't laugh at me when I'm there, which would break my heart. His reaction surprised me.

"Why are you wearing a scarf? Please tell me you didn't dye your hair." He looked devastated.

"And what if I did?" I asked.

"You would still be you. It wouldn't change anything." He sputtered.

"Nice save," I laughed.

"I think being a redhead suits you. It makes you a little different."

I told Liam it was to protect the pin curls so they don't frizz. "You don't have to worry about me dying my hair until I start going white. I've never died my hair. It's my natural colour."

Liam's lip twitched. "I've noticed." He said.

I could have died.

On Thursday morning, I skipped the gym for obvious reasons, showered carefully so as not to wet my hair and started to get ready. I packed my bag and packed a bag for Perrin with his bed, crate, and food. I did a quick run through the shops to the dressmaker to pick the dress up from the dressmaker and to buy underwear for the dress. I didn't need a bra, but I wasn't going without underpants.

In the morning, I pottered, waiting for lunchtime to arrive and for Liam to finish his half-day at work. I was so jittery I had dropped my coffee this morning, and the mug had smashed. Not having anything to do and waiting for hours made it all worse. I had to do something, so I painted my nails and watched Kill Bill Vol. 1.

The story took me over, and soon I was transported with the action and exceptional dialogue. I decided the only person who could convince me to be an actor would be Quentin. I even went and got out my "Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino" hoodie for added comfort. When it was over, I did feel a little better and whistling the song from the movie, I got Perrin and went to Liam's.

By the time I got to Liam's house, the nerves had come back. I found it hard to concentrate and almost just walked Perrin into the backyard. I sighed and put Perrin on his leash and texted Liam that I was here, and walked to the park with Perrin. We had planned a way to introduce the dogs during the week. The snag was I had agreed to it before I knew about the hair situation. But I found an old bucket hat of Andy's that fit and hid most of my head. I still felt ridiculous, but at least the hat somewhat normal.

When I saw Liam, my heart leapt. I wanted to run to him, have him hold me, soothe away all the pain of the last week and fear of tonight. But we had to introduce the dogs first.

We walked to each other as Perrin and Cole had a little sniff of each other. There was no immediate dislike.

"Hello, Sweetheart." His voice took my breath away.

"Hi," I said.

"Cute hat."

"Arse." I was smiling, though.

"I've missed you," he smiled broadly.

I gave him a small smile.

Liam farrowed his eyebrows. "These two look like they are ok," he said. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

I nodded, and Liam leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before we started to walk. We went side by side, keeping the dogs apart. Liam put his arm around my shoulder.

"You're very quiet this afternoon," he said after a few minutes.

"I'm nervous."

"About the dogs or tonight?" He asked. "Or something else?"

"Tonight." I felt like a petulant child with all these short remarks, but I couldn't give him anymore just yet. I let my head rest on his shoulder to try to let him know he wasn't the reason I was acting distant.

Liam squeezed me. "You'll be ok. You're going to be dressed beautifully and appropriately. No one is going to laugh at you. You'll see. Myra and Boyd are all excited to meet you. This is Myra's boyfriends first red carpet, too, so you won't be the only virgin." He paused and chuckled. "Although, I had better keep you two apart. He's a sparky? I think that's the word. I don't want him stealing you away from me. I know how much you love tradies."

I laughed. Liam had said all the right things in a few moments, and I felt calm again. At least calm enough that I can have a conversation. "Thanks, Liam," I said and kissed his cheek.

We walked for about half an hour. The dogs walked together for a bit. Perrin, being so old, was pretty laid back about the whole thing and Cole, while curious, just seemed happy to be making a new friend.

When we got back to Liam's house, we let them leashes off, and Perrin had a sniff around the yard. Cole either followed behind him or bounced around in front of him as if he were saying, "come look at this place over here."

While Perrin explored, Liam stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes a moment, listening to the sounds of the city.

"You're such a good hugger," I told Liam as I turned around in his arms and put my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his shirt, seeking his warmth and familiar scent.

"A compliment. From you? With no sarcasm?" Liam teased. "It must be my lucky day."

"Just shut up and kiss me," I said, and I lifted my head to meet his. Our kisses were soft at first, but they became more than that very quickly.

Liam pulled away and said, "we aren't alone. Ryan is here." Liam suggested that Ryan stay with the dogs while we were out. He would be back on Sunday and Monday, too, to take Cole for a walk and play.

I sighed. "Riza will be here soon anyway. We better get these guys inside and settled."

We took the dogs inside and got them set up. Then and I met Ryan, who was working in Liam's study. I don't know what I expected from Ryan, but a Scottish Hercules was not it. He was at least as large as Liam, had dark hair and green eyes and although he paled in comparison to Liam, he was handsome and instantly likeable.

We shook hands, and he said, "it's nice to meet you, Lana. I've heard a lot about you, so it's nice to put a face to the name." His accent was noticeable but not thick, and he spoke with a confident calmness that must be essential in his job. He doesn't mention or look at my scarf, which is a relief. I smiled and said, "Same. I keep hearing all these names, so it's nice to meet finally."

Liam gets me to put Ryans number in my phone. He said I should call Ryan if I need to contact him if he's not reachable while filming. I look at Ryan, and he nods as he says, "it's my job."

I do it, but I roll my eyes. He's not my assistant.

We let Ryan get back to work, and we go out to my car to bring my stuff in. By the time I've set up Perrin's things and sorted out my put my bags away, Riza and Jen arrive.

Liam opened the door for them, and Riza stood stunned for a moment. "Damn, you're built like a brick shithouse." Riza was very petite, half a head shorter than me, so you'd think she'd be used to everyone being bigger than her.

Liam, bless his cotton socks, laughed and put his hand out. "You must be Riza."

Riza took his hand, "yeah, mate, how's it going?" Liam stood aside to let her come in. She was hauling a massive makeup case, and Liam offered to take it for her. I thought she would bristle at his offer, but instead, she just gave it to him.

I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head, indicating my surprise. She just shrugged and gave me a strange look, and looked straight back at him. Riza is a pocket rocket type and prefers to be seen as one of the boys a lot of times. Andy even invited her to his bucks weekend despite her being my maid of honour, so the whole interaction was unusual.

Jen came in and introduced herself to Liam, and it was a much more civilised exchange than Riza's.

I gave them both hugs and kisses on the cheek. "Thanks for doing this, Jen and you too, Riza."

"No worries," Riza said.

Liam offered them both some wine and looked at me to see if I wanted one. I agreed, and we all sat in the lounge room.

Riza grabbed my hand when Liam had his back turned, "Sorry Lans, I think I got star struck. I'm a fucking dickhead."

Jen and I laughed at her, and I said, "serves you right for taking the piss out of me last night."

Liam came back with glasses and a bottle of white wine and poured us all a drink before taking a seat next to me. He sat next to me, resting his arm on the lounge behind me and put his ankle on his knee. His foot bounced, and I looked at him, and it struck me that he was anxious.

I put my hand on his foot to soothe him and turned to Riza and said, "did I tell you that Liam planned a trip to Mt Hotham this winter? I think it was June? Queens Birthday weekend? Before your Mum comes. Anyway, Riza, you spent a few winters there. Got any ideas for some good runs?"

That was it, the two of them talked about skiing, and the tension in the air lifted. I even swapped seats with Riza and sat with Jen for a bit. Once I could tell Liam and Riza were comfortable with each other, I asked Liam where Jen could set up.

Liam said to go to the master on the third, and he went to get up to take us there. I told him Jen, and I could be fine, and he smiled at me and kept talking to Riza. Jen and I smiled at each other and went up to get ready.

Part 19

#original character #original fiction #romantic story #happy ever after

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mrslaufeyson002 · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2.

When the movie finished, Peter introduced himself to me. "Hey, can I show you a cool game?" Peter asks me and I nod my head, he grabs my hand and drags me to the game room. I watched him play a few rounds on the game called 'Fortnite'. I didn't care about the game, so I went to another tv screen and played 'Batman Arkham Asylum'.

I have been playing the game for longer than two hours and I was going against 'Titan Joker,' when Peter walked over to see what I was doing. "How are you so close to finishing the game? I can't get past Poison Ivy."

I just giggled at how childish he can be. "I can help you another time, but I'm starving and then I'm going to bed."

I came back an hour later and I was ready for bed. I took the elevator to the fourteenth floor and walked up to a flight of steps to get to my room. I got in my bed and closed my eyes, but I didn't fall asleep. I heard footsteps coming closer to my room, the door opened and I heard quiet, graceful footsteps getting closer to me. I gasped in surprise and opened my eyes when I felt a pair of cold hands wrap around my throat. I started to laugh at his attempts to kill me. "Why are you laughing?"

"I love how you thought, choking a vampire will kill them." He got up and started to pout, he was about to leave my room. "You try to kill me again and I will enjoy killing you." He left my room and I tried to sleep.

(What Cecelia is wearing after waking up)

I opened my door and saw Tony standing there, arms crossed over his chest. "Can I help you?" I ask a bit sarcastically and he seemed to get angrier.

"Where were you yesterday during dinner?" I rolled my eyes at him, I mean he can't be that stupid. "I got hungry, so I went hunting for food. I didn't know that I needed permission to feed. I thought you knew that I don't eat human food, I'm a vampire, we have an all blood diet." I raised my voice a bit and Tony looked a bit shocked. "I'm sorry." I apologized, lowering the volume of my voice.

"I was worried, I like you kid and if anything happened, I don't know what I would do. It's not safe for Vampires nowadays, you could have been caught and killed. The government has hunters everywhere, I'm just glad that you're safe." He sounded like he was about to cry. "I had an idea last night, we'll have the avengers participate in this also, but I was thinking about having a blood drive around the country." I wrapped my arms around him and he returned my hug.

"Thank you, Tony." He let go of the hug before I did and he stepped aside for me to leave my room. "Hunting for my food can be tiring and very messy sometimes."

"I told Peter about it yesterday and asked if he could like to donate and he agreed. If you get hungry, there's a blood bag in the cupboard above the sink. I also labeled whose blood it is."

I walk down the hallway and down a flight of steps to get to the kitchen. I had eaten at least twice a day or I could lose control. I opened the cupboard and there were at least ten or thirteen bags of blood. I grabbed a bag and looked at the label, it said Bruce/Hulk. I tore into the bag and dumped it into one of Tony's cups. I drank half of it when I heard a female screaming behind me. I stopped and turned to look at her, she looked frightened for a second. "You're the vampire that lives here." She calmed down a bit shook my hand. "I'm so sorry for freaking out, I'm Jemma Simmons."

"Are you a part of Coulson's team?" She smiled and nodded her head. "Can you introduce me to your friends?"

She dragged my hand and pulled me into the living room. "Cecelia, it's so good to see you again," Phil says and gets up from his chair and hugs me.

"I saw you yesterday Phil." Jemma pulled me to her friends and pointed to each one as she introduced me to them. "This is part of our team, Agent Melinda May, Daisy, Lincoln, Lance Hunter, Leo Fitz, Bobbi Morse, Erika Fury is Director Fury's daughter and Al Mackenzie but he prefers to be called Mack." I shook everyone's hands as Jemma introduces me to her friends. "Jemma can you bring my drink in for me?" I ask her and she hurriedly goes to the kitchen. Loki walks in and nobody talks.

"Here you go, Cecelia." She hands me my half-empty drink and I take it from her. I take a sip and almost everybody is watching me. I stop and look up at them.

"What?" I ask getting paranoid at their looks.

"Is that...blood?" Fitz asks me and I could see him trembling in his seat.

"Yeah, I'm a vampire." They're still watching me so I excuse myself to finish my drink in peace. I walk into the kitchen and sit at the counter. I gulp the rest of it down and I walk back out to the living room. I still got a semi-weird look from them, so I went to the elevator.

I walked into the game room and saw Peter trying so hard to defeat Poison Ivy, he was so close but he died. He threw the controller on the floor in frustration. I walked over to him and sat down. I picked up the controller and handed it to him, his fingers touched mine for a second so I let go. "I can give you some tips." I offered and I'm glad that I'm not human, because if I was...I would be blushing.

"Can you please give me some tips?" I smiled and nodded my head.

I helped Peter finish the game and he left to get himself some lunch. I sat in my room waiting for Peter when the door opened and Loki walked in. "Did you come back to kill me?" I ask looking into his eyes.

"No, but only because I do not wish to die." He smirked as he said this.

"Then why are you here?" I ask not wanting him to be near me anymore.

"I wanted to hang out with you and maybe get to know you."

"There are a lot of other people here, why me. I mean last night, you tried to kill me. He smiled shyly at me.

"I'm sorry about that. I was not happy to be here, and I thought that you would be an easy target to let my anger out on you." He replied rubbing the back of his neck.

"Is that your way of saying, 'I never planned on killing you?'" He nods and smiles shyly again at me, and I thought it was absolutely adorable. "If you're ever angry, I will always be here to listen. I don't want you to accidentally kill anyone."

#mcu loki #loki #loki laufeyson #oc character #vampire #avengers #wattpad #fanfic #lily james

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