#I also know I won't get started until next week because of the taylor shows but I'll still have 10 days so it should be fine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

in-superbloom · 3 years

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did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)

right where you left me: prologue

pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)

warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!

author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)

another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3

credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.

i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚

@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤

i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡

let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡

word count: 4.1k

☆☆☆

Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.

Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.

Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.

Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.

As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).

When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.

Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.

Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?

The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).

Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.

She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.

Alright, someone's in a mood.

Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.

“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.

Still, no reaction.

That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.

When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.

Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.

“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”

Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.

“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.

Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.

“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.

Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.

A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.

“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.

“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.

Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.

While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?

She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.

The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.

She knows what's wrong with it now.

It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.

Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?

☆ ☆ ☆

Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.

The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.

“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.

That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.

It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.

That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.

As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.

While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.

So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.

Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.

He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.

Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.

He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.

Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.

Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.

Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.

Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.

A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.

“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.

Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.

“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.

“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”

Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.

“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”

“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.

“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.

“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”

“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.

“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”

Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.

Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?

Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.

God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.

Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.

Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.

Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.

#anna writes #perhaps she does write after all #alright i'm gonna go hide somewhere now bye #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin fic #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin x oc #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #ashton irwin imagine #5 seconds of summer #5sos imagine #anna writes: rwylm

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helloalycia · 3 years

Text

worth the wait [three] // daisy johnson

summary: when you're out chasing a story that leads you to the unanticipated hands of HYDRA, you certainly don't expect to be rescued by a girl you presumed dead for nine years.

warning/s: descriptions of violence, torture, injuries.

author’s note: here’s the next part, hope you all like it!

Nine years later...

"I'm meeting with my contact now. He said he knows something about the weapons."

"Okay, just make sure you're safe, Y/N."

I smiled with amusement. "I always am, Taylor. I think this could be the source to break the story though. I'm gonna try and get them to speak on the record."

"Just be careful," he warned.

"Will do," I promised, before checking my watch for the time. "Okay, I gotta go. See ya."

"Good luck," he finished, and I hung up before putting my phone away.

Looking around, I saw the village was quiet seeing as it was pretty late and everyone was in their homes. It was the perfect place to meet with a source for my story on human trafficking.

I headed down the street and waited outside the apartment building for my source. I had no idea what he looked like, but nobody else would be out this late into the night, so he couldn't be hard to spot.

A few minutes passed before I saw a guy approaching me, holding some files in his hands. I straightened up and held his gaze as he stopped before me. He glanced around before looking me up and down.

"You are Y/N?" he asked with a Burmese accent.

I nodded, speaking fluent Burmese as I said, "Yes. You must be Ohnmar? We can speak Burmese if you prefer."

"Okay. We talked earlier, but it wasn't safe then. I have information on the missing residents," he answered in Burmese, before shaking the files. "It's all in here, but you mustn't open it until you get home."

I accepted the files and nodded, though was mildly confused. "Is it about the labour they're doing? I have a theory, but I have no proof. I... I think it might be HYDRA."

He pursed his lips and I figured he was confirming my thoughts, which concerned me.

"I'm right," I realised, before moving to open the file. "I need to–"

"You should've stayed away," he suddenly said in English, and I looked up in confusion.

Before I could question him, he pulled a gun from behind him and hit me on the head, knocking me to the ground. I tried to blink my eyes open, but my vision was blurred and I eventually blacked out, unable to stay awake any longer.

I woke up in a dark room with an aching head and confused mind. It took a moment for me to catch myself up, but I soon realised I'd been tricked by my contact. I was so easily fooled and I felt stupid as I hadn't seen it coming, instead too blindsided by my need for information.

Looking around, I realised I was tied to a chair. The only light in the room was from a single electric lamp plugged in the corner, shedding light on the damaged walls and, to my dismay, a HYRDA logo.

"Well, fuck," I mumbled, before shaking my wrists to try and get free, but they were tied pretty tightly with rope, making me shift uncomfortably at the chafing.

Panic started to set in when the door slammed open in front of me, flooding the room with light and making me close my eyes with discomfort. I heard another slam and opened my eyes when I saw the door closed behind whoever entered.

Two people were in the room and one of them turned the lamp, shining it in my direction and also revealing my assailants' faces. One of them was Ohnmar, my contact, which I guess wasn't his real name. The other wasn't anybody I recognised, and they were both wearing uniforms with the HYDRA logo on the pocket.

"I wouldn't try to escape if I were you," the fake Ohnmar said.

I clicked my tongue and looked between the both of them. "I'm guessing I got a little too close to the truth which is why I'm here. Right?"

"You've been putting your nose in where it doesn't belong," the other guy said. "Did you really think you would get away with this? That we'd let you write about this?!"

I flinched at his loud volume before clearing my throat. "I didn't think I needed your permission. And in case you didn't notice, it's my job to report on this."

Fake Ohnmar scoffed. "We don't care what your job is. Now tell us what you know and what you've told your superiors back home."

I narrowed my eyes. "Do you really think this is the first time I've been captured? I've spent nine months in this village. If you think I'm going to throw that away for you, you better think again."

Fake Ohnmar's friend cracked his neck, pacing with discomfort, before pulling out a gun. I chewed on the inside of my mouth, nerves settling as I tried not to show it.

"We have someone going through your electronics as we speak," he told me, gripping his gun. "Your superiors will get their updates as expected, but you won't be giving them."

"Look, you're gonna kill me whether I tell you or no–"

I was cut off when he smacked me across the face with his gun, making me see stars momentarily. I felt something warm gush from my nose and realised I was bleeding.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with," he muttered, his face inches from my face as he stared me down threateningly. "Now tell us what you know of the missing villagers."

I wiped my nose on my shirt the best I could and chose not to speak. They couldn't do much without knowing what I knew. Everything I'd learnt had been sent back home to the news organisation I worked for, and if I didn't get back to them or call them, they'd know what happened.

"Two things I despise," he mumbled with irritation. "Journalists and Americans." He waved to his friend dismissively. "She won't talk. You know what to do."

Fake Ohnmar nodded obediently before suddenly punching me in the face, once again, leaving me dazed. This went on for a while, him beating me up as an attempt at torture, before the two of them left me alone to 'think about' if I wanted to tell them.

I had been in this situation, surprisingly, two times before in my journalistic career. Both times I was able to get out either by escaping myself or managing to get found by the authorities. Of course, in this case, the latter seemed impossible, so my only hope was escaping myself.

I looked around, but realised I was in too much pain to hatch a plan right now. They'd done a good job on me, and I was sure my ribs were bruised pretty badly. Honestly, I didn't expect nine months of investigative journalism in Myanmar to lead to HYDRA of all places.

—

"You've beat me, starved me..." I coughed because of how dry my throat was. "I'm not talking."

Fake Ohnmar placed something rectangular on the table in front of me. I realised it was my laptop – they must have taken it from where I'd left it in the room I'd been renting downtown.

"You're clever, I'll give you that," he said, crossing his arms and shaking his gun impatiently. "Where did you learn such complicated encryptions?"

I couldn't help but smile when I knew he couldn't get into my laptop. At least not the parts that exposed what I'd learnt so far.

"You do what I do and you learn from past mistakes," I told him, making him clench his jaw.

It wasn't much, probably the only trick in the book I knew as I wasn't exactly an expert with computers. Clearly it was benefiting me today though.

He slammed his hand on the table suddenly, making me jump. "Tell me the password, now!"

I licked my dry lips, choosing to stay quiet. I began to wonder just how advanced these guys were if they couldn't even afford to get a hacker to break through.

"So it's gonna be like that," he said with a shrug, before pointing his gun at my face.

He flicked off the safety and I closed my eyes as calmly as I could, already saying my goodbyes in my head. A few days in a HYDRA cell was like weeks anywhere else. I'd accepted my fate.

I expected the shot to go off any minute now, wondering what things would be like afterwards. Would it hurt? Would it be an instant death?

I certainly didn't expect my left ear to be ringing as an excruciating pain shot up my neck from my shoulder. My eyes opened and I tried to breathe through the pain whilst hoping my ear would stop ringing. The man began to laugh, but I couldn't hear him, only see his evil smile.

When I looked down, I saw blood seeping from a bullet wound in my left shoulder. Despite my experience in this profession, I can't say I'd ever been shot before. It certainly hurt a lot more than I'd imagined.

"You talk and I get you patched up," he said when my hearing returned to normal. I looked up and saw him watching me with narrowed eyes. "You stay quiet and we see how long it takes for you to bleed out."

I swallowed hard, squeezing my eyes shut to contain the pain, before opening them again.

"You're gonna move operations," I realised aloud. "You want to know whether you can. Because if I've told them about you, you know you can't stay here much longer. And if I haven't, you just get rid of me."

He squeezed his gun with irritation, watching as I spoke the truth.

"But either way I die," I repeated. "So why the hell would I want the last thing I do be to help you?"

He grabbed the laptop before kicking the table away with anger. "Call when you feel like talking. We can make your death quick and painless or long and painful."

I smiled bitterly as I watched him leave the room, slamming the door behind him. I released a deep breath as I looked down at my shoulder, trying to make out the damage. I didn't know much about first aid, but I was pretty sure there was no exit wound meaning the bullet was still in there. That was good, right? Or wasn't it...? I couldn't remember. I just knew it hurt like hell.

—

Hours had passed and I began to hallucinate. Silly things like cheeseburgers and dancing water bottles – lack of food and drink, the blood loss and the heat was making my head spin. I wasn't sure if this was where I wanted to die – in a small, dirty, hot room by myself. Was it worth it? Dying over a news story?

Of course it was. I pursued this story after some social media posts about disappearing villagers in Myanmar. I stayed here nine months with each day leading me closer and closer to the supposed human trafficking that was going on. I got to where I was because I wanted to get justice for those who suffered and stop anyone else from suffering. Yet the only people who knew were my editors back home, and I wasn't sure they'd ever know the full truth.

It was better than helping the enemy though.

Just when I thought cheeseburgers were the worst of my delusions, I saw a face I hadn't thought about in a long time. A person who I least expected my mind to drag up in a time like this.

The door opened and I was sure I was going to be questioned again, but in ran none other than Skye. The same Skye who had ran away all those years ago and wasn't to be found.

She looked a little older with her shorter hair, but otherwise she was just as I remembered.

"Hey, I'm gonna get you out of h– Y/N?" she started, before furrowing her eyebrows with confusion.

She even sounded the same, and if I could feel anything at that moment, I'm sure I would've felt my heart beating quickly at the sight of her.

"Can you hear me?"

I began to laugh with what little energy I had left. Is this what it was like to die? Seeing things that you'd pushed down for so long to stop your heart from hurting? It was strange. Why was my mind playing with me like this?

"Y/N, look at me, can you hear me?!" she asked quickly, grabbing my face and forcing me to meet her eyes.

I continued to laugh because it all felt so real. Her touch, her voice, her eyes that peered into me. I wished it was because maybe after all of these years I could have made things right.

—

"Miss, can you hear me? Y/N?"

I blinked the tiredness from my eyes and opened them, trying to remember what was happening. But I was confused and my body was numb and nothing made sense.

"Y/N, sweetie, can you hear me?"

I turned my head, realising I was laying in a bed. There was a woman beside my bed – a doctor, I presumed – staring down at me with a friendly smile on her face. I nodded slowly, my mouth dry.

I couldn't remember getting out of that cell, being rescued. Unless I wasn't rescued and this was still a trap.

At this thought, I widened my eyes and tried to move, panic setting in, but I was attached to a bunch of tubes and my body was still numb.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay," the doctor tried to reassure, resting her hands on my arm, trying to keep me still. "You're safe here. You're on a S.H.I.E.L.D. quinjet. That's like a plane...? We got you out of that HYDRA cell and I've bandaged your wounds. You don't need to be afraid anymore."

I wasn't sure whether to believe her, but something about the way she spoke and the kindness in her eyes made me relax.

"My name is Agent Simmons," she introduced as she grabbed something from beside me, "but you can call me Jemma."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. On cue, she held a glass of water towards me and helped me sit up enough to have some from the straw. It felt good to have actual water in my system after not being given anything the past two days.

"Not too quickly," she said gently. "Take your time."

I listened to her before laying back down. It took a few tries, but I managed to get out, "Thank you, Jemma. I'm Y/N."

"Y/N Y/L/N, investigative journalist for the New York Times," she stated before an apologetic expression crossed her face. "Sorry. Facial recognition an' all... I hope that doesn't freak you out."

I sighed, not the slightest bit surprised. I knew enough about S.H.I.E.L.D. to know they had the resources to know exactly who I was.

"I don't remember you getting me," I said with confusion. "How did you I know I was there?"

Jemma took a seat on the stool beside my bed. "Well, technically it was Quake who got you out. We had reports of HYDRA activity in that area for a while and we knew an American journalist had been taken, but we didn't know it was you."

I nodded, though I was still confused. "Who's Quake?"

Jemma chuckled, thinking I was joking. But when I met her eyes with confused ones, she lost her smile.

"You're serious? You don't know who Quake is?"

I shook my head. "I've been in Myanmar for nine months, and not in the most advanced areas. I haven't had much access to American news."

"Seriously?" she asked with disbelief, before putting her arms out and shaking them. "Earthquake-causing, vibration-manipulating, tremor-shaking superhero Quake?"

I raised an eyebrow judgementally, making Jemma lower her arms sheepishly.

"Oh, well, she's a hero that works for S.H.I.E.L.D.," she explained.

I nodded slowly, deciding that was something to ask more about later on. For now, I was more concerned about my story.

"You said S.H.I.E.L.D. had been watching that area for a while," I recalled. "Does that mean you found out what happened to the missing villagers? I got as far as working out HYDRA had been using them for some sort of forced labour, but never beyond that."

Jemma got up from her stool and busied herself with other things. "I, er, that's actually classified...? You see, it's not good if we tell you, especially as you're a journalist..."

"But it's my story," I countered with annoyance. "I've been trying to work this out for almost a year. I deserve to know the outcome. Did you save those villagers? Were they all alive? Did the local authorities know?"

Jemma seemed to be getting uncomfortable the more questions I asked and I forced myself to sit up, groaning at the ache in my shoulder.

"You can't hide this from me," I told her. "Please, just tell me."

She grimaced. "It's not my place. I'm not in charge–"

"Then tell me who is!" I shouted with frustration, before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I just– I've put a lot of work into this and it can't just be taken away. I need to know what happened."

She nodded, avoiding my eyes for fear I'd get angry again. "Look, I can talk to my superiors and find out what I can say. For now, you should really be resting."

I leaned back and breathed out slowly, already feeling my fatigue catching up to me.

"Okay," I said quietly, before asking, "You said we were on a plane. Where are we going?"

"That's actually classified as well," she said regretfully, making me sigh. "We're going to our headquarters. But after that, we'll be taking you home or wherever you want us to take you."

At the mention of home, I grew hopeful. It had been so long since I'd been back. I wasn't exactly in the right state to be living by myself, so I was glad that I had made the choice to leave my flat and move in with my parents before leaving for Myanmar. Plus, I had missed them dearly. To be back there was almost unimaginable.

"Can I ring my parents?" I asked hopefully. "Just to let them know I'm okay? And that I'm coming soon?"

Jemma nodded, offering a small smile. "Of course, Y/N. I'll go grab you a phone."

She left the room momentarily and I took that as my chance to get a good look around. It looked like a hospital room you'd find anywhere, except without windows and with card-activated doors that had tiny glass windows showing a narrow hallway. I didn't get to look around for too long as Jemma returned pretty quickly, handing me (what looked like) a normal mobile phone.

"I'll give you a moment of privacy, but please only call your parents," Jemma warned as politely as she could.

I cracked a small smile. "What – are you guys tracking the phone or something?"

She chewed on her lower lip as she looked down, making my smile fade as I realised that's exactly what they were doing. I wasn't surprised, I guess.

"Right, okay, no other calls, got it," I agreed with a nod.

She left me to it as I dialled my mum's mobile number and eventually spoke to both her and my dad. It was emotional to say the least, as I tried not to worry them too much without withholding the truth. They knew when I was lying so it was better to just be honest. Of course, they were happy to have me stay at theirs until I was back on my feet and the call ended with my mum scolding me for not resting as the doctor recommended.

Finally succumbing to the tiredness I was feeling, I fell asleep for God knows how long, but when I woke up, I felt more refreshed. Similar to before, Jemma was in the room, checking some charts. She caught my eye when I woke up and smiled reassuringly.

"Feeling better?" she asked, setting down the chart and rounding the bed.

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks... how long was I asleep for?"

"About six hours," she guessed, waving her hand. "We've landed at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ and our agents are debriefing. Once everything is sorted here, we can take you home to New York and arrange a driver to take you to wherever you want."

"My parents' house," I clarified.

She smiled and nodded. "Right. Your parents' house. How are you feeling?"

I tried to sit up and she helped me as I smiled gratefully in return.

"I'm not gonna lie, being shot hurts like a bitch," I admitted, grimacing as I glanced at my shoulder and arm in a sling.

"First time?"

"And hopefully the last," I retorted, before looking to her. "How long will this take to, y'know, get better?"

"Well, I'll need to keep you here for observation over the next few days," she explained. "When I'm happy with the outcome, I'll send you home and you'll need fortnightly checkups at the hospital. Overall I'd say a month? Maybe more if there's no... er... other issues."

"I know you mean PTSD," I told her bluntly, before frowning. "Doing what I do requires knowledge of that."

"There's going to be support available for you, both here and back home," Jemma reassured, resting a hand on mine and offering a small smile. "You're not alone, Y/N."

I nodded, clearing my throat. "I know... I know. Thanks."

She nodded and moved to the other side of the room to grab something, before wheeling a tray of food over to me.

"Hope you're hungry," she joked. "It's nothing fancy, but it's pretty good."

I smiled and accepted the food. "Means a lot, thanks."

I took a bite out of my sandwich as I remembered something. When I finished chewing, I wiped my face with the napkin before looking to Jemma who was at her desk.

"Er, Jemma," I called, making her look up. "Did you find out what happened to the villagers?"

She pursed her lips and nodded. "I've spoken to my superiors. I know you've been working on this and I'm only permitted to tell you so much."

I waited patiently, not wanting to snap at her like last time.

"The missing villagers were in fact taken by HYDRA, like you predicted," she explained. "They were forced into labour at a facility that was under the guise of a food warehouse."

"What was the labour?" I asked curiously.

She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't tell you much, but I can say that it was a nuclear weapon that could've hurt a lot of people. S.H.I.E.L.D. managed to stop it before they could finish it, which is when we found out that a journalist had been taken. That was when we came for you."

I released a deep breath, definitely not expecting that. At least they had been stopped.

"Did the missing people return to their families? Were they okay?" I asked hesitantly, remembering the many families I spoke to of the missing. I'd grown attached and I don't think I could have taken more bad news.

"Most of them, yes!" she exclaimed hopefully, but I could tell the following news wouldn't be good. "But not all of them were okay. There's some psychological damage and unfortunately physical damage, too. HYDRA did a number on them."

I massaged my head with my right hand, trying not to get upset, but the guilt in the pit of my stomach wasn't helping. I had one job, literally, and I couldn't even do it right.

"Y/N–"

"Do you have a list?" I asked, cutting her off. "A list of who made it?"

"Y/N, I don't think–"

"Please," I pleaded. "I spoke to the families of those who were missing. I got to know them. I need to know who's not getting their loved ones back."

She frowned, but nodded slowly. "I'm sure I can do something."

I sighed and my shoulders sunk with disappointment. Just another day on the job.

—

It had been a few days since being rescued by S.H.I.E.L.D. and I was itching to get home, but Jemma insisted I be observed for at least another day.

Under different circumstances, I would have been eager to explore the quinjet and get more information out of Jemma about her place of work, but I was too exhausted to care. Instead, I revelled in being taken care of and having a break from work.

I was laying in bed, reading a book, when Jemma walked in and caught my attention. I tried not to bother her as she was clearly working on other stuff, but it got pretty boring sitting in a room by yourself all day.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile, lowering my book.

"Hello," she returned as she took a seat at her desk, going on her computer. "You doing alright?"

"As alright as I can be, considering," I said, shrugging with my right shoulder. "Just a bit bored."

"The book not good?" she asked, nodding to my hand.

"I've read it," I admitted. "I just didn't wanna be a bother and ask for another one."

She chuckled. "You could have said something."

"It's okay," I assured her, before leaning back. "So, up to anything fun?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Are you seriously that bored?"

I nodded, pursing my lips, making her laugh. Eventually, she stared at me curiously.

"There's actually something I wanted to ask you," she admitted, crossing her arms and leaning back on her chair. "If you don't mind."

Wanting any distraction from my boredom, I nodded. "Go for it. I'm all ears."

"I've been reading some of your work," she shared. "You're really talented and you've been through your fair share of tough scrapes."

I chuckled. "I guess, yeah. And thank you. What's the question exactly?"

She looked at me like it was obvious. "What made you want to do this as a job? Investigative journalism?"

I played with the corner of the book as I answered thoughtfully, "Well, I guess I've always enjoyed writing and delving deep into stuff. The important stuff, y'know?" I looked down at my hands as I remembered Skye. "There was actually this girl I knew back in school. She was a friend and she, er... she was always wanting to find and expose truths. About herself, the world... I guess she kind of influenced me in a way."

I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I remembered my hallucination. Skye seemed to be coming up a lot more in my life lately, more than I was prepared for.

"I'm guessing she isn't with you anymore," Jemma realised, expression softening. "I'm sorry."

I forced a small smile, looking up and shaking my head reassuringly. "It's okay, it doesn't matter."

Jemma smiled in return, but I could see the pity present in her eyes. "I'm sure whoever she was, she'd be proud of you now. For everything you've done."

"Thank you, Jemma, but I... I'm not too sure about that."

"I am."

I froze at the sound of a familiar voice. Was I hallucinating again? No, that couldn't be. I was getting better. But that sounded so real...

"Proud of you, that is," the voice continued, and I risked looking towards the door where I saw none other than Skye standing there with a nervous smile on her lips.

When I met her gaze, I knew she wasn't a figment of my imagination. Those piercing brown eyes couldn't be fake.

"Hey," she got out, barely a whisper.

I licked my lips and tried to look away, but my heart was suddenly racing in my chest. She was just how I saw her last, but I guess that had been real now.

"I should give you guys a moment," Jemma said, pulling me from my reverie and making me look away.

She walked out, past Skye, leaving us both alone. I was still in shock though, too startled to say anything.

"How are you?" she asked gently, and I still couldn't believe I was hearing her voice after all these years. When I didn't say anything, she continued, "I know this is strange, but–"

"Strange?" I finally found my words, eyebrows raised. "What exactly is strange? The part where I'm sure I'm seeing a ghost right now as I you presumed you were dead after not being able to find you for years after you left, or the part where you've probably been at S.H.I.E.L.D. the whole time and didn't bother to tell me you were okay? Which part is strange exactly?"

She frowned guiltily, eyes falling to her shoes. "When I left–"

"Ran away," I corrected her, bitterness slashing through like a sharp knife, surprising the both of us.

She glanced at me, nodding. "Right... when I ran away, I left you a message."

I almost laughed, a sarcastic smile on my lips. "Don't even get me started on the excuse veiled as a message you left me. The cowardly way out you took because you couldn't face me."

She met my gaze nervously. "I didn't think you'd be this angry after all this time. It happened so long ago."

"Of course I'm angry!" I shouted with frustration, making me grimace at the pain in my shoulder, but I didn't stop. "You left without a single trace of Skye or Mary left behind! You left me with nothing but concern for your wellbeing! I thought you were dead!"

I hadn't realised how I angry I was after all this time, but it made sense. When she first left, I always imagined what I would say to her when I found her again, what our reunion would be like. But when the years went on and I accepted she was truly gone, all of that worry turned into bitterness and resentment. And now, seeing her here... I was furious.

"Y/N, I know you're upset, but–"

"Just get out," I told her with a glare. "I appreciate you saving me and all, but get out."

"Y/N," she pleaded, but I looked away and pressed the button on the side of my bed.

Jemma soon returned and looked between Skye and I with confusion and reluctance.

"Everything okay here?" she asked.

I looked up and met Skye's guilt-filled gaze. "My shoulder hurts."

Skye seemed to get the hint and nodded once more before finally leaving the room. I breathed out a shaky breath, before swallowing the lump in my throat and letting Jemma help me.

I couldn't believe she was back.

#daisy johnson x you #daisy johnson #daisy johnson imagine #daisy johnson x reader #marvel imagine #mcu imagine #mcu #marvel #chloe bennet #agents of shield imagine #agents of shield

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imaginationintowords · 3 years

Text

Folklore [song series]

epiphany

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

[warnings: death]

word count: 3168

Age: 21 Year: Sep. 2015 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"So I was thinking, godparents," Bucky spoke up. He and Natasha were currently finishing setting up the baby's nursery in their new apartment.

They had found a nice two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, much to Natasha's dismay. Bucky thought it was the perfect place to start their new little family. It was also about a 20 to 30 minutes drive to Bucky's work and University campus. His mom and stepdad had even offered to help them out financially for a bit, just as long as Bucky continued on his path to graduate with his Masters in Music Technology in the Spring.

Bucky had managed to finish his bachelor's and masters program in just the span of 4 years, a whole year earlier than originally planned. He was proud of himself, if there's one thing he hadn't screwed up yet, it was his education. He had fully devoted himself to his education the last four years and it clearly paid off. He had also managed to get a good paying job at a studio as an engineer. He had his whole future all planned out, the pregnancy might've been a curve ball at the beginning but with the help of his family and therapist, he was handling it all so well.

"Oh you don't need to worry about the godparents, I have it all figured out already," Natasha tells him as she folds baby clothes, "I picked Abigail and Dylan."

Natasha on the other hand had decided to put her education on hold. Deciding she wanted to be a stay at home mom, Bucky constantly made sure that that's what she wanted. And she insisted every time that she was "made to be a stay at home mom". So Bucky had to reluctantly allow her to make that decision.

Which was one of the reasons why his parents had offered to help out for at least the first year or two, they had known their son was already stressing about finances, and trying to respect Natasha's decision. They figured two years would be a good enough time for the couple to build up their savings.

Bucky didn't like the fact that his parents were helping out with money, but he knew him and Nat wouldn't have been able to make it just on is current income alone. At least not until after he graduated, his boss had already promised a raise once he graduated, but that wasn't until May and the baby was due in the next two weeks. He promised to pay his parents back every cent they gave him, but they told him to just focus on being a good father.

"Abigail and Dylan?" He questioned.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders.

"The same Abigail and Dylan that showed up to the baby shower high, and proceed to get drunk, because and I quote 'babies are so boring'. That Abigail and Dylan?"

"Come on James, they were just joking, plus baby showers aren't necessarily the most fun thing in the world," she rolled her eyes.

"Can we at least each choose one godparent?" He suggested, "You can have Abigail as the Godmother and I can choose The Godfather."

"Like Sam?"

"No, not Sam. Steve," Bucky tells her.

"Oh, then no," she simply said, turning her back to him to continue putting clothes away.

"What's your problem?" Bucky asks annoyed, finally having enough of her attitude, "This entire pregnancy you've been against everything I've suggested."

"Hey, you got to choose Brooklyn," she turned around pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah because I couldn't fucking afford Manhattan Natasha," he stressed, trying not to raise his voice at her, "You didn't want to know the gender of the baby? Fine. You get to name the baby? Fine. You choose the color scheme of the nursery, fine. You choose the hospital. You choose the apartment. God damn Nat, I haven't done a single thing but pay for everything."

"And I thank-you for that," she rolled her eyes.

"But you don't," he shakes his head in disbelief over her reactions, "You haven't thanked me once. I get that you're carrying our child, and I'm appreciative of that. But god damn Natasha, show me some respect. Show my family some respect!

"You didn't thank my mom, Rebecca, or Keith for everything they've done for you. For us. And I can't keep making up excuses to defend you," he raises his voice a little bit.

"If this relationship is ever going to work, you need to be respectful. You need to stop being so selfish. I get this isn't easy for you, but trust me, this isn't easy for me either. But I agreed to do this. I am stepping up. I want to be a part of my child's life. And I want us to be together and be family," he calms down, "But if you continue to act this way. I won't stay in this relationship."

"You're just going to abandon us?" Natasha asks grabbing her belly, suddenly realizing the reality of the situation.

"No, I won't abandon you both. But we won't be together," he explains, "I will always be in my child's life. I will always be there for them. I'm not going to put my child through the same thing I went through growing up. I promised myself I would never do that."

"So if that means that you and I break up, then so be it Natasha, I'll do it," he tells her, "My child will not grow up in a toxic household."

"Okay," she agrees, tears in her eyes, "I promise I will be better."

"Don't promise me Nat, just show me."

Two and a half weeks later Bucky found himself rushing an in-labor Natasha to the hospital, it was a quick k10 minute drive from their apartment. He quickly called his mom as the nurses wheeled Natasha away, with Bucky following.

Bucky's mom arrives within the next 10 minutes, as the nurses begin to prep Natasha in her hospital room.

Bucky sent a quick text to Steve and Sam, letting them know it was showtime and that he'll call them once the baby is here.

"How's Mama doing?" The doctor asked while entering the room, quickly taking her spot at the foot of the bed to examine Natasha.

"It hurts," Nat cried, as Bucky tried to soothe her.

"I know, but unfortunately you were too far dilated when you arrived, that it's too late for the epidural," the doctor softly explains, "But the good news is I feel Baby's head, so it's time to go."

Natasha looked over at Bucky, completely scared.

"It's okay," he assured her, "I'm right here. Everything's going to be okay."

He leaned down an placed a soft kiss to her lips, helping her relax a bit.

"Ready?" The doctor looks up at Natasha.

"Yes," Natasha nodded, grabbing a hold of Bucky and his mom's hands on either side of her.

10 minutes later, a soft cry was heard in the room. Bucky quickly glanced over to where the doctor was had finished pulling the baby out.

"Congrats Mommy and Daddy, it's a girl," she announced.

"A girl?" Bucky whispered in awe, tears filling his eyes. He looked over at Natasha, who looked a lot paler in color.

"Nat?" He called out for her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her limbs went limp, and all the monitors started to go crazy.

The doctor quickly cut the umbilical chord and handed the baby off to an awaiting nurse.

"What's going on?" Bucky panicky asked.

"Get them out," the doctor told a nurse, ignoring Bucky's question.

A nurse quickly escorted Bucky and his mom out of the room.

"She's going to be okay right?" He asked his mom, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't know honey," she honestly said, wrapping her arms around her son. She never thought the first hug they shared after him becoming a father would be like this.

She continued to hold him, soothing him as she made silent prayers pleading for Natasha's safety.

10 minutes later. The same 10 minutes it took for them to arrive to the hospital. The same 10 minutes it took Natasha to bring their daughter into the world, the door opened.

Bucky quickly pulled apart from his mom to see the doctor walking out of the room.

The doctor's face was filled with sorrow. Bucky's mom immediately put her head down, already knowing the outcome.

"How is she?" Bucky asked.

"Mr. Barnes, Natasha had a postpartum hemorrhage, due to issues with her placenta," the doctor carefully explains, "Unfortunately, there was too much blood loss. We weren't able to save her. She died."

Bucky immediately broke down, his mom quickly caught him. The doctor placed a reassuring hand on his back.

He quickly pulled away after a couple of minutes, "The baby. How's the baby?"

"She's good. They took her to get checked just as a safety procedure," the doctor tells him, "She's on the pediatric floor. Would you like to meet her?"

"Yeah," he says, then pauses, "What about Natasha?"

"We can come get you to say goodbye once we get her cleaned," the doctor tells him.

"Okay, thank you," he says.

The doctor takes him and his mom to the pediatric floor. The walk was silent. No one knowing what to say. Bucky was no longer crying, but he felt numb the entire short walk. The doctor knocked quietly on a door, before opening.

"Doctor Monroe, this is Mr. Barnes, the baby's father," the doctor said, before stepping aside to let Bucky in, "Mr. Barnes, I'll have someone come get you when it's time."

"Okay, thank-you," he nodded his head.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" Doctor Monroe asked, Bucky nodded his head.

"Meet your Daddy baby girl," the doctor said, gently handing the baby over to Bucky.

Bucky looked down at the small baby in his arms. He was instantly overcome with so many different emotions. The doctor walked out of the room, while Bucky's mom watched from outside threw the window.

"Hi baby girl," he whispered, sniffling back his tears, "You're so beautiful. I'm your dad. And boy am I lucky that you chose me to be your Dad. I always imagined this day would've turned out a lot differently. But life sure knows how to throw some real curveballs."

"Your mom would've loved you," he paused, letting it all sink in. His daughter will have to grow up without a mother. No little girl should have to be without a mom.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, as the baby was lulled to sleep, "I am so sorry your mom won't be able to physically be here. I am so sorry you'll have to grow up without her. No one should have to grow up without a parent. And trust me, I know what that's like. But lucky for us, I had the greatest pleasure of being raised by the most strongest and kindest mother. She taught me everything I know. Your grandma is the best lady you will ever meet. Lucky for us because god knows we're going to be needing her a lot.

"But you and I are incredibly fortunate that we won't ever be alone. We have so many people who care about us. You'll have all the female leadership you can ever need. We can do this," he strongly said to the sleeping baby, "You and I. We can do this. And I promise you this, that no matter what happens, you will always have me. You're stuck with me for the rest of your life. My love for you is greater than anything, anyone I've ever loved. My love for you will always be easy and unconditional. You'll never have to prove your worth to me. You're worth more to me than you can ever possibly imagine. I love you."

Bucky placed a soft kiss to his daughter's forehead. The first kiss he will ever give her, but definitely not the last.

There was a soft knock at the door, he gently called for the person to come in.

His mom quietly opened and closed the door behind her, stepping to her son's side.

"She's beautiful," she smiled down at the little baby.

"She really is," Bucky beamed. He looked over at his mom and noticed she was holding a clipboard, "What's that?"

"Birth certificate," she tells him, "One of the nurses gave it to me. They said there's no rush to fill it out. You have time."

"Here, I can do that," he said gently holding the baby out for her to take.

"Are you sure?" She asked, switching with him.

"Yeah, I have a name anyways."

"What is it?" She looked over at the name written down:

Poppy James Barnes.

[flashback]

After that talk Bucky had with Natasha, he noticed a serious change in her attitude. She was beginning to be more relaxed and more selfless. Bucky felt a tiny weight lifted off his shoulder. Hoping that these changes in her personality would stay.

"So what do you think about James for a boy?" Natasha asked one night, as she and Bucky made dinner together in their small kitchen.

"For a middle name?" He asked confused.

"No, his first name."

"Oh," he paused, "I actually have never liked the idea of giving a child their parents' name. I feel like it doesn't really give them a chance to be their own person. If their parent is successful then they feel the stress of always having to live up to that. And if their parent is crap then they're forever stuck with that reminder of that person."

"That makes sense," she agreed, understanding where he was coming from,

"Then how about James for the middle name. Whether it's a boy or girl."

"I would actually really like that," he smiled at her, "I would like that a lot."

They gathered up their own plates, and sat at their small round table.

"So what other names have you come up with?" Bucky asked her as he took a bite of his chicken.

"Truthfully, I haven't found any good names. All the girls keep making suggestions and they're way too out there," she tells him, "I don't want them to have a name that's too hard to pronounce or spell."

Natasha's phone started to ring, Bucky got up to grab it for her from the living room. By the time he handed it over to her it stopped ringing.

"What kind of flower is that?" He asked her, noticing her phone's Lock Screen background.

"The California Poppy," she tells him.

"Why do you have that as your background?"

"Well my mom was actually from California," she says, "She met my Dad when they both went to Harvard. They fell in love, so she decided to stay out here on the East Coast.

"The only clear memory I have from her was all the stories she used to tell me about poppy season. How the color just made everything so lively. Her parents would take her every season. I remember seeing all the photos of her as a child surrounded by all the flowers. We looked a like as children," she fondly smiled,

"She always talked about taking me to go see them, but she and Dad were always so busy. Then she got sick and there just wasn't a way for us to go. My grandparents tried to get some out here but it was too late. I never did get to see the poppies."

Natasha was silent for a moment, letting what she said sink in. She's never told anyone that story before, the memory would always make her sad. But now sitting here with Bucky, pregnant with their child, for the first time in her life her mother's death didn't bring her such sadness. She could smile at the memory and know she had the utmost best time with her mother, even if it was short lived, she knew her mother loved her. And she can't wait to shower that love onto the baby inside of her, once they were out.

"We should go," Bucky says, "Once the baby is here we should go when it's poppy season. Plus it'd be nice seeing Steve and Liz's life out west."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," her eyes teared up, seeing how generous this man was in front of her, "I'd really love that."

"Poppy, that's cute," Winifred smiled.

"Yeah, Nat would've loved it."

"They said if you were ready, you can say your goodbyes," she carefully said.

"Okay, you're good with her?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to go with you? The nurses can watch Poppy."

"No. I'd feel much better if she was with family," he tells her, "I'll be fine mom. I can do this."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.

"Take all the time you need," the nurse told Bucky, as she led him to the room Natasha's body was in.

"Thank you," he quietly said.

She opened the door for him, and he carefully stepped inside.

He walked closer to the body on the bed. He immediately started crying at the sight of her lifeless body.

"God Nat," he cried, "I am so sorry. We never even discussed the possibility of this ever happening. I never even thought of this happening. God I don't know how I am going to ever do this alone. I never imagined myself ever raising a child alone."

He takes a moment to catch his breath.

"She's beautiful Nat, so incredibly beautiful," he tells her, "I wish you would've been able to see her. Hold her. I'm going to make sure she knows everything about you. There's not going to be a day where she doesn't know about her mother."

"When poppy season arrives I'm going to make sure to take her. Every year," he wipes away a tear, "Oh, I also named her Poppy. For you. For your mom. I promise I won't let you down. She's going to have the best life ever. I'll make sure of that. Thank-you for everything you've given me. I truly did love you. Goodbye Natasha." _________________ Age: 22

Location: CA

Year: May 2016

The car comes to a stop, parking in a spot next to a bunch of other cars. Bucky, Liz, and Steve get out of the car. Steve and Liz grab a few things from the trunk, while Bucky gets the smiley baby out of the car seat. Bucky places the baby into the stroller, Steve had gotten out. The three of them began to walk towards the field of poppies.

"Wow, there's a lot this year," Liz says, "Do you want to take her out?"

"Yeah, I'll grab her," Bucky says grabbing Poppy.

He walked ahead of Liz and Steve, taking in the moment with his daughter.

"Look at all the poppies," he whispers to the almost eight month old. She had a huge smile on her face taking in the sight around her.

She was making some babbling sounds, as if to agree with her dad.

The weather was perfect. The sun shining down on them, it wasn't too hot or too cold. Bucky just stared at the flowers, with a peaceful feeling washing over him. The last few months haven't been the easiest, but he was making it. They both were making it. Being here, gave him the reassurance that he was doing good. He could feel Natasha's presence with him there. As if she was silently saying how proud she was of him.

"We're going to be fine," he said to Poppy, placing a kiss on her head.

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bisluthq · 4 years

Note

Hey! I'm fairly new here and I have a pretty uncommon take on Kaylor. But I just wanna start off by saying I try my best to be as supportive of LGBT people as possible and if they're both bisexual, then I would be 100% okay with that! I'm not trying to "defend their heterosexuality" or anything, I think that's really weird

Okay, so my personal theory is that Kaylor did happen, but that Taylor and Karlie are both straight. I know that might sound contradictory, but I say this based on my own personal experiences based on how I am with my best friend. I think Karlie and Taylor's relationship might have been similar in some ways to ours

Right, so I'm straight and I'm not into women in the gay kind of way (but it's completely cool that some girls are), and I have this roommate who's gorgeous. Really gorgeous, she's like a 10/10 "I would sell my kidney to look like you" kind of girl. She's very attractive, she has like tan skin and long legs and gorgeous brown hair and pretty eyes and nice lips and just like… she's just very good looking. I'm definitely jealous of her body, I won't even pretend I'm not 😪 I lowkey hate her because of it (jk)

We've been living together since not long before COVID started, and we're very good friends. There were three of us before, but our other roommate went back home to stay with her parents until in person classes are back on and we agreed to it and worked something out because she has really bad anxiety so we understood her reasoning for it

Anyway so it's just been us two and because we've been at home a lot during this time instead of out for most of the day like before, we've gotten to know each other a lot better and have become a lot closer. We were already friends from before, but now we're like super close besties, we've been hanging out a lot together and playing board games, watching movies, helping each other with essays, just having long conversations about anything and everything, etc

Like it's been so nice having a best friend that I can be this close to now because I haven't had a best friend since I was a kid

So my friend and I were having like a conversation last year about how hard it's been in quarantine not being able to go on dates and how we miss kissing people, and so we decided to just like, make out for fun you know. I mean, there's not really anything that's inherently romantic or sexual about making out, that's just society that says that. But tbh I think making out with your friends if you want to should be normalized, it's fun and it can even be emotional sometimes. It's not that different from hugging people

After a couple of weeks or so, I think we got bored of just making out with each other and decided to like, fully hook up. It started off because we were modelling lingerie for each other for banter and were pretending we were each other's runway judges and then I think we just decided to hook up with each other as like part of the whole "game". I can't remember who initiated it now, I think it might have been me as a joke lol

Like just in a platonic way for fun, as a kind of substitute until we can go back into society

And tbh I always expected hooking up with a woman to be like mediocre and boring and awkward, but although it was a bit hard to get the hang of at first and there was a learning curve, it's actually very enjoyable. Like I was very surprised actually at how hot it can be, I think I can maybe see why bisexual women and lesbians like doing it

Anyway we both liked it and we just carried on hooking up on the regular and it's been like 8 months now and tbh I just think it's very sweet and heartwarming, like it actually makes me feel a little emotional how we're close enough and care about each other enough that we can even help each other out with the physical intimacy side of things so that we don't get sexually frustrated while we're stuck in lockdown

I just think it's really cool and we even sleep in the same bed most of the time now because tbh what's the point in sleeping alone when you can sleep in the same bed as someone else? It's nicer, like you can cuddle and stuff

Anyway, I think that maybe Kaylor's relationship might have been similar. I think they're both straight but they became really close friends in a short space of time, and that their friendship was so intense that it became physical but in a platonic way

I think lesbians and bisexual women are amazing and I have so much respect for you guys for accepting yourselves in a society that tries to erase you, and I think there definitely needs to be more wlw representation on TV and in movies

But at the same time, I would also like there to be more close female friendships like the one that me and my friend have where you can just talk about everything together and do things that society usually reserves for romantic partners, but in a platonic way. Because female friendship is really important and beautiful, whether that's between straight women like me and my friend who I think is probably straight too, or between queer women because one thing I've learnt during my short time on this blog is how queer women can have very close platonic friendships with other queer women too

I think society just has overly strict ideas of "straight" and "gay". Like for some people, they would hear about two women sleeping together and think "Oh that's gay", but not necessarily because straight women can enjoy sleeping with other women too, like it's normal 🤷‍♀️

I think it's just a result of women being a lot more physically beautiful than men are, like straight women really got the short end of the stick tbh compared to straight men

I also think it's because women are so oversexualized in the media, and obviously straight girls see that too and so we sort of internalize that attraction to women because we're so used to seeing women being presented in a sexual way? Except it's not real attraction with us like how it is for queer girls

Like I'm very much "attracted" to my friend, she's genuinely stunning and just very hot tbh. But I still identify as straight because it's just a case of what I mentioned above, it's a "fake" attraction. And also because men are afraid to compliment other men because it's seen as "gay", but women can be fully confident in their sexuality and still recognize other women's beauty and sex appeal. You see it all the time in instagram comments, and I really love how we're all so supportive of each other like that

Like I can be fully confident in my sexuality and yet still say that some women like my friend are gorgeous as hell and also 100 times better looking than most men I've seen. I'm very much obsessed with some women's appearances but in a platonic way

And I just love the concept of "girl crushes" and I think that from a feminism viewpoint, it's beautiful that we're focusing on other girls and showing love towards other girls too, instead of just to men who, let's be real, don't even fully appreciate it half of the time

I am going to be sad when we all have to return to life as usual and my friend and I won't be able to spend as much time together anymore. I'm dreading it tbh, I don't want it to end yet. And it really sucks that the physical side of our friendship will probably have to stop too once our other roommate comes back because I think she'd definitely misunderstand the situation and think it's something different than it actually is if she ever saw us kissing or something. I really am going to miss it a lot though, I really like how things currently are and it's just really really nice and I don't want it to change :/

Btw I'm sorry if I sounded fetishistic or offensive with any of this, I just get a bit jealous sometimes that you guys get to date girls and we're just stuck with men. Honestly if it wasn't for all of the homophobia and the struggles that you all have to face and the fact that it would feel disrespectful to the LGBT community, I would probably really wish I could change my sexuality to be bisexual or gay instead because I just think women are better. Sometimes I really do wish I was into women in that way because dating girls just sounds so much more appealing to me (in a non fetishizing weird way) but unfortunately I'm stuck with dating men 🤦‍♀️ But I also know I'm lucky and privileged to be straight even though most men are mediocre and kinda gross and I don't mean to be disrespectful because I know you all have to face homophobia and other LGBT difficulties and it really sucks, people are awful. There's nothing wrong with women dating women or men dating men at all, society is just ugly and bigoted

Anyway, does anybody else have a similar sort of take on Kaylor where they think they could have both been straight and just had a very close friendship with a physical side to it? I think it would explain a lot. But like I said, this is just a theory of mine based on my own situation, and I'm also open to the idea that it was an actual relationship and that they're both into women for real, not just fake "into women" like I am.

Also pls feel free to call me out if I accidentally said anything offensive towards LGBT people, I tried my best but if I made a mistake anywhere pls let me know and I'll avoid it next time!

You’re not offensive. Please stop apologizing. And we’re gonna come back to the Kaylor stuff another time because... Honey. You and I need to have a conversation for a bit.

So firstly, I’m not trying to like “diagnose” you and at the end of the day it’s your choice what you want to call yourself but... tbh you might not be straight. Sexuality is fluid not static and exists on a spectrum not in absolutes. It’s not like it’s straight, 50/50 bi, gay and you’re born knowing and there’s no room for anything else. That’s not true. There’s a lot of room in between all of these and labels can change over time. We’re people, not cereal brands, and sometimes we don’t even KNOW the word for what we might be. I’m tagging a tag for you from when we asked people to share their label journeys for you to see. It’s not simple or easy and it’s not just because of external stuff - it’s because figuring this out internally is HARD. If you found yourself having such an intense friendship it became physical, repeatedly, you liked it a lot, you still sleep in the same bed and continue to share all your thoughts and you don’t want any of that to end... I’m not sure you’re Kinsey 0. And I think you might lowkey have a girlfriend dude.

You can obviously prefer men but like... hun I reaaallly don’t think you’re completely straight.

Also: it’s okay to say “I see myself winding up with a man and this is a situationship for right now!” but that doesn’t make you straight because again, sexuality is a spectrum and you can manifest a particular kind of endgame while experiencing other things along the way.

But here’s where you really got me: “most men are mediocre and kinda gross” and “women being a lot more physically beautiful than men are, like straight women really got the short end of the stick tbh compared to straight men” because that’s the kind of thing I used to say in my Bi 1.0 era before I ID’d as a lesbian for a bit and before Harry Styles (KING 🥺) made me bi for real. Hun, no. Straight women like men. Tbh BI women like men. I genuinely, unironically, find Harry and Timmy and Matt Smith to be sexy beasts and I would do dirty things to the former two but maybe not the latter irl in 2021 but yes also him if I could be on that Spain trip with him and Karen where they got sloshed and which I think of often. These men are genuinely fucking beautiful to me in the same way Taylor is and Di Silvers is (okay she’s prettier than all of them but like same ~vibe) and like Megan Thee Stallion is and Indira Varma in everything but especially GOT and Gillian Anderson and Keira Knightley. Like those women are HOT to me and SO. ARE. THE. MEN.

Straight women find SO MANY DUDES hot. So many. Starting from objectively pretty options I just cannot personally understand like Chris Evans all the way through to bitches who are outchea simping for wrestlers and Cole Sprouse. Do I understand? No. But like... that’s straight girl culture and ours is not to judge.

If you’re struggling to find men hot then... you might be gay.

Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “fake attraction”. Like queer women - especially femme women which I assume you very much are - experience the same kinds of feelings straight girls do. We have women we want to be like and look like and find enviable (me and Oenone Forbat) and women we find aesthetically gorgeous (me and Anya Taylor Joy) and we have extremely close female friends who we can spend hours on end spilling our guts to - as you say female friendships are truly special - and without going into personal people that you don’t know, that’s me and Cam and Sim right? I literally talk to them for hours. Like those are not gay feelings. And yes we can chat about those kinds of feelings with straight girls and call them “girl crushes” and not immediately get “caught out” because they experience this exact shit too.

But here’s the thing. They never do and I don’t want in the cases above to fuck these women. It’s not sexual.

The moment I can actually imagine fucking the women in question that’s... gay.

Like it’s not “fake attraction” it’s literally just gay. That’s how we desire women. We want to fuck them. Not all women. Not always. But sometimes we want to get under or on top of one and just really truly fucking make each other moan with pleasure.

I have no idea if Karlie or Taylor are into women. They could both literally be straight. I have no idea.

But I have a better idea about you.

Hun, you’re fucking your roommate/best friend and don’t want to stop.

You’re not “into women”.

You’re into this woman.

And possibly into women more generally.

So I know it’s weird to have to be the one to tell you this, and if you want to keep chatting via anon or in my DMs or if you want me to try collate resources for you from around the web but...

Like.

Dude.

You’re a whole ass part of the rainbow.

Welcome to the community you thought you weren’t a part of earlier today 🌈 ❤️

It’s nice here, sure there’s homophobia, but at least we get to fuck girls and man is it good.

#agony aunat #share your label journey #roommate anon <3

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spidernerdsblog · 4 years

Text

I forgot that you existed : Chapter one

A/N: okay chapter one is here going a little slow with the storyline wanted to add a little bit of details to the lives of the characters. I can guarantee in next chapter our hero will be in full form and not just in flashbacks. Hope you like it. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

Summary: It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realise you are still not done with each other.

Warnings: none, flashbacks.

Mini playlist: love story, ME! By Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes, and the flashback starts

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air

Sounds of giggles and laughter " No! she is my best friend" Harrison exclaimed pulling you by grabbing your left hand towards him "No she is my best friend!" Tom said, pulling your right hand. You couldn't stop giggling as you were stuck between a tug of war between your two best friends who stated that you can only be best friend to any one of them not both. You were only 5 years old then Tom & Harrison both 3 years older than you but you loved hanging out with them.

Your parents shifted from LA to London for their work and coincidentally your house was in the same neighborhood as were of the boys. You all became friends through your mothers when they used to take you to the park when you were toddlers. You were the only girl of the whole boys gang consisting of Tom, Harrison, Harry and Sam and they were very protective about you. You used to boss them around.

As Haz and Tom were quarrelling over whose best friend you were in the backyard of the Holland's house. Tom out of nowhere declared "if it's that so Y/N is my girlfriend" and gave a gentle peck on your lips, you stood there in shock and soon you started blushing as you covered your face with your hands and ran inside to your mother who was chatting with Nikki.

You went up to your mom and asked innocently "Mom, Tom said that I'm his girlfriend and gave me a kissy like you give me every night before bed. Is he no more my best friend ?" Both the mothers started laughing as Nikki spoke “no peanut he will always be your best friend and if you love bugs stay like this forever maybe he can be your husband too."

You scrunched your face and said "eww!! I will not marry him"

“why is that so? " your mother asked laughing

"he always steals my chocolates" you said innocently “no I don't!! Tom said from behind as he entered the house with Haz, “yes you did yesterday only you took it from my bag at school” both of you now started arguing. Nikki and your mom burst into laughter after hearing it. That was the beginning of your love story.

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story baby just say "Yes"

.........................................................

You loved to listen to songs as it helps to release your stress and this song of yours was very dear to you as it reminded you of some sweet memories. You were scrolling through the photographs that you had taken back when you were living in London together with the boys as you thought about that whole incident, your actual first kiss, you smiled and shook your head at the realization that you both had disappointed your mothers.

You finally dialled Harrison's number he picked up instantly

"Hey Y/N!"

"Hello.. this is 911 what is your emergency?" You chuckled

"You will never change will ya?"

"That was the plan actually to never change"

"Talking to you after a long time man missed your voice so much"

"Me too Haz.. So how's everything going there?"

"Yeah everything is fine here just wrapped up my new film."

"Great!! How are the boys, Nikki and Dom?"

"They are all fine. Harry is busy with his new film's plot, Sam as usual experimenting with new dishes."

"An.. and how's he?" You hesitatedly asked

"He's good too wrapped up Avengers 5 will be returning home tomorrow.

By the way congratulations for the success of your new album to be honest it's a badass album the lyrics are dope."

You giggled.. "Thanks Haz"

"So now are you free or still have any upcoming projects?"

"I can never be free Haz I m always working, always thinking of lyrics for my next song. Leave all that, what was the emergency that you said to call so urgently?"

"Ummm.. Y/N I want something from you."

"Anything for you Haz"

"You have to promise me first Y/N that whatever I say you have to say yes"

"When have I ever said you no anyways just tell me"

"No! Y/N first promise me"

"Uggh Okay Haz I promise now spit it out. Sometimes you really act childish." you rolled your eyes.

"I want you to come back home I mean back here at London I have planned a 10 days trip to Cornwall at my beach house which we all used to go every summer when we were kids it's a sort of reunion for the whole gang I have invited Z and Jacob too"

"Haz you know I only go on Christmas every year to spend time with you guys because that is when I m free. And I'm pretty busy this month. I have a recording to be done next week for my upcoming single."

"Y/N you promised you will not refuse me. I just want a little time from your busy life.”

"But Haz…"

"And also I'm gonna celebrate my 30th birthday there, your man is getting old love."

"Umm... I don't know what to say Haz I'm confused"

"If you're thinking about him I can assure you there will be no problem besides he is not single anymore so why worry?"

That is the problem Haz you said in your mind.

"Umm okay I'll give it a thought and let you know after confirming the availability of dates." You ended the call and fell back on your bed, your hands and legs spreading across the bed like a starfish. You face palmed and groaned.

You went into a deep thought, your brain still processing the whole conversation you had with Harrison. After a few minutes you heard your phone buzzing and you smiled as you looked to see who was calling. It was Zendaya, face timing you. You had seriously wished to talk to someone right now. You have very few close friends in the industry and Zendaya was one of them. You collaborated with her for your bad blood music video and you guys clicked instantly from that day you became really close. She was your 3am BFF and you both knew each other's darkest secrets. You picked up the call.

"So Haz called you up didn't he?"

"Bingo!! So what are you thinking?" Zendaya laughed

"I don't know Z. I just feel scared. I know I have met him a couple of times during my Christmas visits after everything happened but that was just a one day thing and this whole 10 day trip is freaking me out. I also don't want to disappoint Haz. I missed all of his birthdays for the past few years on purpose just to avoid Tom."

" You are just over thinking babe everything will be fine and I will be there to cheer up your emotional ass. Besides as much as I know Tom is very chilled out he will not bother you."

" I don't think so. He has a very cold attitude towards me even now whenever I go back home. "

After you moved to NY you almost begged your parents to move here and stay with you but they were adamant of staying in London so once in a year you used to visit your family and friends during Christmas. The Christmas Dinner was always hosted by the Holland's after your break up you always panicked to go to their house. The first year when you went. The boys, Nikki, Dom welcomed you as if nothing had happened; they hugged you with joy. But when you went to give Tom a hug he just backed off and out of formality gave you a shoulder hug and you got your hint to stay away. He even brought his new girlfriend for the dinner which you thought he did on purpose to make you jealous or hurt you. And you were actually hurt at the thought that he really moved on so quickly. So you avoided family gatherings to prevent such awkward situations.

"Babe your life doesn’t revolve around Tom he was a part of your life which is over. Start living your life. And we are in our early 30’s and still single don’t wanna die like that do you ??. Even if you want you can have your sweet little revenge by showing off that hot body on the beach and show that asshole what he missed." Z smirked.

You quirked your eyebrows “So you're telling me to be a bitchy ex who doesn’t want to see her ex boyfriend happy”

" Nooo!!! I didn’t mean that just show him how happy you are, that you are one of a kind, he will never find anyone like you in his life. We are gonna have a blast honey and you are coming so start packing."

You had to finally give in with a deep sigh you said .."okay Z I ll go but if I jump off the cliff after all the mental stress I'm going to get in those 10 days you and Haz will be responsible for it." you laughed.

"Oh we won't want that. Besides you have handled more stressful moments than this you will be fine dramaqueen." Zendaya said.

You talked to Alex about the whole trip to sort out the dates. He was a little sceptical at first about the whole reunion with ex trip , but he believed in you and gave you a nod for the trip. You informed the good news to Haz of your approval to the whole trip. Before you could leave for your unplanned vacation you had to finish recording and shooting for your new upcoming single featuring Breidon Urie.

"I promise that you'll never find another like me

I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh

I know I never think before I jump

And you're the kind of guy the ladies want

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

I know that I went psycho on the phone

I never leave well enough alone

And trouble's gonna follow where I go

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

But one of these things is not like the others

Like a rainbow with all of the colors

Baby doll, when it comes to a lover

I promise that you'll never find another like

Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm the only one of me

Baby, that's the fun of me

Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You're the only one of you

Baby, that's the fun of you

And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e"..............

The song was soon officially released by the music company and the audience loved it and your work was done for the moment and now you could focus on the trip. All of a sudden you were really feeling excited about the whole thing. You and Z were constantly texting each other to plan about the journey.

The day arrived and you met Z at the airport. "So ready for the battle?" she chuckled. You rolled your eyes and laughed "going on a battle would have been much easier compared to this I guess" but in your mind you were confident. Yes you had finally decided that you're ready to face Tom Holland to show him that you have also moved on. And to show him that he'll never find another like you.

The nine hour flight was uneventful as both you and Z slept most of the time which proved that you both were in dire need of a vacation away from your hectic glamorous lives.

It was around 5 ‘o’ clock in the morning in London when your plane landed. Both of you collected your check in luggages. Check out was hassle free as it was early morning with few people around and nobody recognised you as both of you were in your hoodies. As you came out of the exit door you started to look amongst the crowd and finally you saw those familiar icy blue eyes approaching towards you.

“Ah!! Finally the star arrived” Harrison hugged you tight

“And all credit goes to you Z because our star has stopped listening to her best friend may be got someone else to replace me” he hugged zendaya and started laughing

“getting rid of you has been one of the failures of my life" you pouted

"Ouch!" Harrison dramatically placed his hands on his chest as if hurt.

"No one can ever replace you from my life you idiot" you lightly punched his arm.

Harrison chuckled and said with a fake French accent "I m your chauffeur for the day, madame your car awaits at the parking lot."

After you three put all your luggages in the car. Z and you sat at the back seat and Harrison sat on the driver's seat as he started the car. It was an approximate four hour ride to his beach house.

" You know Haz I really missed the summer in London so glad I said yes to your plan."

"The only thing I liked about London when I came for Spiderman:FFH shoot is the Harry Potter museum" Zendaya declared

You noticed Harrison looked a little off today so you asked "you look a little bit stressed out Haz what's the matter bud?"

"How do you read my mind so easily?" Harrison sighed.

"I'm your best friend dumbo now tell me what is the thing that is bothering you so much?" you said with concern in your voice.

"Okay I need to say you something, just don't be mad Tom will be bringing his fiancee too at the beach house. But don't worry everything will be fine I promise."

Your face went expression less as you looked at Harrison then to Zendaya. You were starting to panic from inside. You let out a sigh and rolled your eyes as you leaned on Zendaya's shoulder. She rubbed your shoulder to comfort you as you thought in your mind "what a great start to this cursed trip."

..................................................................................

Taglists:If you want to be added send in an ask i will be happy to add you.

@sophs-library

#tom holland #tom holland series #tom holland × reader #tom holland imagines #haz osterfield #zendaya #taylor swift #tom holland fluff

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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years

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The Weekend Warrior 10/1/21: VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE, THE ADDAMS FAMILY II, THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK, TITANE, MAYDAY, THE JESUS MUSIC

Yeah, so I haven’t had the time over the past couple weeks to write a column, and I kind of hate that fact, especially since I’m coming up on a pretty major milestone for me writing a weekly box office column and reviewing movies. In fact, that milestone comes next week! And once again, I’m struggling to get through the movies I was hoping to watch and write about this week, because I’ve been out of town and once again, very busy over the weekend. Let’s see how far I get...

Before we get to this week’s wide releases, I’m excited to say that my local arthouse movie theater, The Metrograph, is finally reopening for in-person screenings, and they’re kicking things off with a 4k restoration of Andrez Zulawski’s 1981 thriller, Possession, starring Sam Neill and Isabell Adjani, who won a Best Actress prize at Cannes for her performance in the film. I actually saw this at the Metrograph a few years back, and Metrograph Pictures, the distribution arm of the company is now distributing the 4k restoration. There’s a lot of exciting things ahead at Metrograph, including an upcoming four-film Clint Eastwood retrospective, including White Hunter, Black Heart (1990) and A Perfect World (1991) this Friday. Also, Lingua Franca director Isabel Sandoval will be showing her fantastic film from 2020 (a rare chance to see it in a theater and I’ll be there!) as well as program a number of other favorites of hers. Sunday will have screenings of Ingmar Berman’s Scenes from a Marriage (1973) in its full four plus hour glory, Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park (1993) and John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness (1994).. In other words, the Metrograph is back!

Moving over to the weekend’s three wide releases, the first one up being Sony’s VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE (Sony Pictures) with Tom Hardy returning as Eddie Brock aka Venom, joined by Woody Harrelson as the psychotic symbiote, Carnage. Taking over the directing reins is Andy Serkis, who has only directed two other movies, Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle and Breathe, but as an actor, he’s been heavily involved with the CG VFX (and performance capture) needed to bring the characters in this Marvel anti-hero movie to life.

Venom has been one of Spider-Man’s most popular villains and sometimes allies for quite a few decades now, starting out life as a cool black costume Spider-Man found on a strange planet during the first “Secret Wars,” which turned out to be an alien symbiote that had malicious intentions. Spider-Man got the costume off of him but it then linked up with Eddie Brock, a sad-sack journalist whose emotions drove the alien symbiote to become the Venom we known and (mostly) love, thanks to one Todd McFarlane. Venom continued to play a large part in the Spider-Man books before getting his own comics, and not before a super-villain was created for him in Cletus Kasady, a vicious serial killer whose infection by the symbiote turns him into Carnage. And that’s who Harrelson is playing.

Being a sequel, we do have some basis to go on, although the original Venom movie, released in early October 2018, also arrived at a time when it was only the second time the character of Venom was brought to the big screen -- the first time being Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3, in which the character was received without much love as Ryan Reynold’s Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And yet, Venom did great, opening with $80.2 million and grossing $213 million domestically, which is more than enough to greenlight a sequel. (It made over double that amount overseas, too.) For comparison, the Wolverine prequel opened with $85 million but at the beginning of summer, so it quickly tailed away with other movies coming out after it. Venom: Let There Be Carnage has to worry about the new James Bond opening a week later, so it very likely could be a one-and-done, opening decently but quickly dropping down as other big movies are released in October (basically one a week).

I’ve already seen the movie, and by the time you read this, reviews will already be up --including my own at Below the Line. Social media reactions seem to not be so bad though, so maybe it’ll get better reviews than its predecessor, which was trashed by critics, receiving only a 30% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. But if you look at the fan ratings, they’re higher with 81%, although it’s hard not to be

I’m thinking that bearing COVID in mind and the law of depreciation since the previous movie, Venom: Let There Be Carnage will probably be good for around $50 million this weekend, maybe a little more, but however it’s received, I expect it to drop significantly next week, though a total domestic gross of $135 to 140 million seems reasonable.

Another strong sequel to kick off October is the animated THE ADDAMS FAMILY II (MGM), which is following up the 2019 hit for MGM/UA Releasing with most of the voice cast returning, including Oscar Isaac, Charlize Theron, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Finn Wolfhard, as well as Nick Kroll, Snoop Dogg, Martin Short, Catherine O’Hara, and Bette Midler voicing the popular characters from the New Yorker cartoons, a popular ‘60s TV series, and two Barry Sonnenfeld movies from the ‘90s.

The 2019 animated film was a pretty solid hit for the newly-launched UA Releasing, grossing $100 million domestic after a $30.3 million opening, making it one of MGM’s biggest hits since it was restructured under UA and became its own distributor again. Who knows what’s going to happen with Amazon’s plans on buying MGM and whether the latter will remain a distribution wing, but MGM still has a number of movies out this year that likely will be awards contenders. But that doesn’t mean much for The Addams Family II, which will try to get some of those people who paid to see the original movie in theaters back to see the sequel… and if they’re not going to theaters, MGM is once again offering the movie day-and-date on VOD much like they did with last year’s Bill and Ted Face the Music, which opened much earlier in the pandemic (late august, 2020), so it far fewer options to see it in theaters compared to this animated sequel.

It’s highly doubtful that The Addams Family II was going to open anywhere near to $30 million even if there wasn’t a pandemic, and it wasn’t on VOD just because MGM just doesn’t seem to be marketing the movie as well as its predecessor. You can blame COVID if you want, but it’s also the fact they’re distributing the company’s first James Bond movie in six years, No Time To Die, on their own vs. through another distributor, ala the last few Daniel Craig Bonds. But we’ll talk more about that next week, since that’s going to be an important movie to help cover MGM’s expenses for the rest of 2021. (I haven’t had a chance to see this yet, but it’s embargoed until Friday, so wouldn’t be able to get a review into the column regardless.)

We’ve seen quite a few family hits over the past few months even when the movies were already on streaming/VOD, but parents are probably being a bit more careful with kids back in school, many younger kids still not vaccinated, and the Delta variant still not quite under control. Because of those factors, I think The Addams Family II is more likely to do somewhere between $15 and 18 million its opening weekend, maybe more on the lower side.

Third up is THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK (New Line/WB), David Chase’s prequel to his hit HBO series, The Sopranos, which went off the air in 2004 but still finds fans on the new HBO Max streamer. Ironically, this prequel will air on the streamer at the same time as it's getting a theatrical release, which probably won't be a very tough choice for fans.

Chase has reunited with director Alan Taylor, who won a Primetime Emmy for his work on the show in 2007 before moving onto other popular shows like HBO's Game of Thrones. Taylor has had a bit of a rough career in film, though, having directed Marvel Studios’ sequel, Thor: The Dark World, a movie that wasn't received very well although there were rumors that Taylor butted heads with the producers and maybe didn't even finish the movie. He went on to direct Terminator Genesys, which honestly, I can't remember if it was the worst Terminator movie, but it was pretty bad.

What's interesting is that because this is a prequel set in the '70s and '80s, none of the actors from the show appear on it, but it does star Alessandro Nivola, a great actor in one of his meatiest roles for a studio movie. It also introduces Michael Gandolfini, son of the late James Gandolfini (who played Tony Soprano, if you didn't know), playing the teenage Tony, plus it has great roles for the likes of Jon Bernthal (as Tony's father), Vera Farmiga (playing Tony's mother), Corey Stoll (playing the younger "Junior” Soprano), and Lesile Odom Jr, as the Sopranos key adversary, even though he ends up coming across like the good guy of the movie. It also stars Billy Magnussen, who oddly, also has a key role in next week's No Time to Die.

I'm sure there's quite a bit of interest in seeing where Tony came from and to learn more about his family, many who were dead long before the events of the HBO show, but will that be enough to get them into theaters when they already have HBO? I already reviewed the movie for Below the Line, and reviews are generally positive, which might get people more interested in this prequel.

As with most of Warner Bros’ movies this year, Many Saints will also debut on HBO Max and unlike some of the studio’s other 2021 offerings, it will actually make more sense to watch this one on the streamer since that’s how most people watched The Sopranos. That seems like a killer for Many Saints, and it’s likely to keep it opening under $10 million, where it might have done better on a different weekend (like sometime over the last two weeks).

This is what I have this weekend’s top 10 looking like:

1. Venom: Let There Be Carnage (Sony) - $50.4 million N/A

2. The Addams Family II (MGM/UA Releasing) - $16.5 million N/A

3. The Many Saints of Newark (New Line/WB) - $9 million N/A

4. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $7.5 million -44%

5. Dear Evan Hansen (Universal) - $4.1 million -45%

6. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $3.3 million -30%

7. Jungle Cruise (Disney) - $1.1 million -35%

8. Candyman (Universal) - $1.3 million -48%

9. Cry Macho (Warner Bros.) - $1 million -52%

10. Malignant (Warner Bros.) - .7 million -53%

Opening in select cities is French filmmaker Julia (Raw) Ducournau’s TITANE (Neon), the genre thriller that won this year’s coveted Palme D’Or at the Cannes Film Festival. It stars Agathe Rouselle as a young woman who has an interesting relationship with automobiles, but she also has psychotic tendencies that leaves a trail of bodies behind her. On the run, she decides to pretend she’s the missing son of a fireman (Vincent Lindon), who has been missing for 10 years, and things just get weirder from there.

I honestly wasen’t sure what to expect from this although I do remember walking out of Ducournau’s cannibal movie, Raw, just because it was so gross, even though so many of my colleagues and friends swear by the movie, and this one, for that matter. Sure, there’s a certain “prove it” factor to me watching a movie that wins the Palme D’Or, because it’s very rare that I like the movies that do win that benchmark cinema award.

After a flashback to Agathe’s character Alexia when she was an obstinate young girl kicking the back seat of her father as he’s driving. They crash and she’s forced to get surgery that puts an odd looking piece of metal in her head. Decades later, she seems to be a pseudo-stripper at weird punk rock car show -- I guess they do those things different in France -- and hooking up with a fellow “model” afterwards. Agathe is actually a very popular model/dancer but when one fan gets too grabby, she pulls a knitting needle out of her hair and stabs it through his ear, killing him. Oh, yeah, she then has sex with a car and seemingly gets pregnant, but that only happens later. First, she goes on a bit of a killing spree and then goes on a run and decides that by strapping up her breasts and breaking her nose, she can pass off this fire captain’s son… and it works!

So the second half deals with acting great Vincent Lindon’s absolutely bonkers steroid-addicted man who seems to be sexually attracted to his own son, and most of his fellow firefighters knows that he’s gay but in the closet, but I’m honestly not sure what that matters. He’s a pretty disgusting character whose 70-year-old ass we see way too much of, and even those who might find Rouselle to be quite fetching, there’s a certain point where her nudity is not alluring but quite horrifying.

Oh, and at this time, Alexia (or Adrien, as she’s now going) has also gotten significantly pregnant, but it’s not a normal pregnancy because what should be milk from her breasts seems to some sort of motor oil. That’s because she FUCKED A CAR earlier in the movie!!! What do you expect when you fuck a car and don’t use protection, girlie? The fact Alexia/Adrien is trying to hide the fact she’s a pregnant woman from a station full of men isn’t even particularly disturbing. The part that really got me was when she broke her own nose to pass off as this guy’s son -- I actually had to look away for that part.

Listen I’m no prude, and I think I can handle most things in terms of horror and gore, but Titane just annoyed me, because it felt like Ms Ducournau was doing a lot of what we see more for shock value than to actually drive the story forward. There just doesn’t seem to be much point to any of it, and once the movie gets to the firehouse, and we see her interaction (as a young man) with her “father” and his colleagues, it just gets more grueling.

It’s as if Ducournau had watched a lot of movies by the likes of Cronenberg or David Lynch, or more likely Nicolas Refn or Lars von Trier, and thought, “I could be just as strange and horrific as those men… let’s see what people think of this.” And way too many people fell for it, including the Cannes jury. While I normally would approve of any good body horror movie, especially one with cinematography, score and musical selections as good as this one, I doubt I’d ever want to watch this movie again. And therefore, I don’t think I can recommend this movie to anyone either, at least no one I want to remain my friend.

As far as the movie’s box office, NEON is opening the movie in 562 theaters to build on buzz from various film festivals, including the New York Film Festival earlier this week. I think it should be good for half a million this weekend, although maybe it'll surprise me like NEON's release of Parasite a few years back. I just don't see this getting into the top 10 but maybe just outside it.

And then we have a few more movies that I got screeners for but just couldn’t find the time to watch, but might do so once I finish this verdammt column.

The faith-based doc THE JESUS MUSIC (Lionsgate) by the Erwin Brothers (I Can Only Imagine, I Still Believe) takes a look at the rise of Christian Contemporary Music through artists like Amy Grant and Stryper and everything in between, featuring lots of interviews of the artists�� trials and triumphs. Even though there isn’t much CCM I ever listen to, I’m still kind of curious about this one, since I generally like music docs and this is guaranteed not to be the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll of most of them. I have no idea how wide Lionsgate intends to release this but it certainly can be fairly wide, because the Erwins have delivered at least one giant hit for Lionsgate, and I Still Believe may have been another one if not for the pandemic. It actually opened on March 13, just days before movie theaters shut down across the country, so it's little surprise it only made $7 million domestic. That said, the acts in this one have a lot of fans, and if Lionsgate does release The Jesus Music into 1,000 theaters or so (which is very doable), then I would expect it would make between $1 and 2 million, which would be enough to break into the Top 10.

I haven't seen any of the movies based on Anna Todd's YA romance novels but the third of them, AFTER WE FELL, will play in about 1,311 theaters on Thursday i.e. tonight through Fathom Events, and may or may not continue through the weekend. These movies just kind of show up, and again, having not seen any of them, I'm not sure what kind of audience they have, but this one stars Josephine Langford and Hero Fiennes, as well as Stephen Moyer, Mira Sorvino and Arielle Kebbel with Castille Landon directing.

Grace Van Patten (Under the Silver Lake) stars in Karen Cinorre’s action-fantasy film MAYDAY (Magnolia), playing Ana, a young woman who is transported to a “dreamlike and dangerous” coastline where she joins a female army in a never-ending war where women lure men to their deaths. It also stars Mia Goth, Havana Rose Liu, Soko, Théodore Pellerin and Juliette Lewis. It will be in theaters and On Demand this Friday.

The great Tim Blake Nelson stars in Potsy Ponciroli’s action-Western OLD HENRY (Shout! Studios/Hideout) about a widowed farmer and son who take in an injured man with a satchel full of cash only to have to fend off a posse who come after the man, claiming to be the law. Not sure who to trust, the farmer has to use his gun skills to defend his home and the stranger.

The romantic-comedy FALLING FOR FIGARO (IFC Films) is the new movie from Australian filmmaker Ben Lewin (The Sessions), who I’ve interviewed a few times, and he’s a really nice chap. This one stars Danielle Macdonald, Hugh Skinner, and Joanna Lumley, and it will be in theaters and On Demand this Friday. This rom-com is set in the world of opera singing competitions with Macdonald playing Millie, a brilliant young fund manager who decides to chase her dream of being an opera singer in the Scottish Highlands. She begins vocal training lessons with a former opera diva, played by Lumley, where she meets Max, a young man also training for that competition. Could love blossom? This actually sounds like my kind of movie, so I’ll definitely try to watch soon.

The second season of “Welcome to Blumhouse” the horror movie anthology kicks off on Amazon Prime Video on Friday with the first two movies, Maritte Lee Go’s Black as Night (which I’ve seen) and Gigi Saul Guerrero’s Bingo Night (which I haven’t), and actually I’ll have an interview with Ms. Go over at Below the Line possibly later this week. The former stars Ashja Cooper as a teen girl living in Louisiana who has a bad experience with homeless vampires, along with her best friend (Fabrizio Guido).

Also, Antoine Fuqua and Jake Gyllenhaal’s remake of the Danish film THE GUILTY will begin streaming on Netflix starting Friday after premiering at TIFF a few weeks back. I never got around to reviewing it, but it’s pretty good, maybe a little better than the original movie but essentially the same. I’d definitely recommend it if you like Jake, because he’s definitely terrific in it.

Also hitting Netflix this week is Juana Macias' SOUNDS LIKE LOVE (Netflix), a Spanish language romance movie that (guess) I haven't seen!

A few other movies I didn’t get to this week, include:

STOP AND GO (Decal) VAL (Dread) BLUSH (UA Releasing) RUNT (1091 Pictures)

Next week, it’s not time for James Bond, it’s time for James Bond to die… no, wait… there is NO TIME TO DIE! Also, a very, very special anniversary for the Weekend Warrior….

#The Weekend Warrior #Venom: Let There Be Carnage #Many Saints of Newark #Addams Family II #movies #review #box office #reviews #The Jesus Music #Titane

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80s-roger · 4 years

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Not On My Watch - pt2

Pairing: Dad!Roger and Mum!Reader

note: part two is here and embrace yourselves for the next one! Reminding that R/N means random name and also if you find my syntax or my voc messy and poor, that's because english is not my first language and I don't remember that many proficiency-level words :) enjoy

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with roger had its ups and downs but laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex-husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and Easter vacations. On summers he has the right to be with her for two weeks.

masterlist // part one // dialogue prompts

warnings: ehm nothing I guess

words: 2,458

taglist: @madeinheavxn @stacymaytaylor (if u want to be tagged just dm me :) )

Roger couldn't sleep after finding out you were living your life. He believed you would stay focused on Laura instead of fixing your love life. But jokes on him. You aren't committing any crime, don't feel guilty about it. He didn't even know how jealous he can be of you. Laura was with him, they spent a very productive weekend together. Freddie visited them and now he knows too. Roger opened up to his friend.

"She sleeps with that asshole, how can she do that?" He was furious. Laura was playing at the grass while the two friends were sitting at the garden's saloon.

"Pardon me Rog, but she does that with her will. She probably likes that man. Let her." Freddie got your back and that's what he is supposed to do because in this situation Roger is wrong.

"But Laura is too young to meet another man as a stepfather." He attempted to defend himself with his daughter.

"Laura also didn't have to listen to your daily fights before the divorce. Remind me, who was responsible?" Fred mocked him.

"Yes, I know. I'm not bragging for cheating on her, you know how tour life and being a rock star is." Roger explained but Freddie stopped him.

"John's also touring and he lives the rock star life but he's a family man and his heart is always home. Why aren't you like him?" Freddie was right. But Roger wouldn't accept it. He's arrogant.

"I'm not John. Okay?" He looked at Laura while she was playing. "But I love Laura with my entire heart. I don't like it when I can't see her more often..." His face was sad now.

"You could talk to Y/N about it," Freddie suggested.

"She would probably forbid me to see my kid after telling her." He giggled but deep down he believed it.

"Ah don't be ridiculous, she doesn't have the right as long as you give financial support every month for Laura." Freddie laughed but then they stopped talking because they heard your car. "Is s-she here? So early? It's not ten yet." Freddie asked and checked his watch.

"This bitch is really doing it on purpose. I will be right back." Roger got furious and stood up, to go inside his house and invite you in. Laura didn't notice a thing.

Roger opened the front door and what he saw wasn't the best thing in the world. You had the nerve to come with your new partner. Just to make him more jealous than he was all weekend. He turned red. He couldn't talk.

"Is Laura ready?" You asked ignoring his state of mind.

"No, she has no idea you're here. You were supposed to pick her up four hours later.". Roger crossed his arms and stared at the man next to you. A brunette tall man with nice muscles and a nice smile. But he is not Roger.

"Indeed, we just arrived earlier than we expected. Now call Laura, we have to go." You had to be really cold towards him or else you would break down and you didn't want that. You love him so much but you can't be with him. It doesn't work.

"Stop doing this. Fucking stop." Roger was going crazy. He destroyed you but you destroy him more.

"Stop what? I want my child." You arrogantly moved your shoulders.

"You can't keep me away from her as much as you want it. I have four hours left with her, you have to let me spend them with her. I'll bring her to your home." He tried to sound calm but his voice was trembling.

"Are you sure?" You asked confused.

"Yes, you don't have to shove your boyfriend right into my face. He's nice, but not your type." He laughed and that made you uncomfortable.

"Yo, stop disrespecting her or I'll beat you. She has told me stories about you. You're a high-quality rock star but a low-quality husband. Too pity." The brunette man said, trying to defend you but that made things worse. Roger and R/N would beat each other in front of you and the high-class neighbourhood.

"What the hell, stop you two right now. R/N get in the car. I'm coming." You got in the middle trying to stop the tension between these two. The man heard your order and waited for you at the car. "You are such a wanker." Your face was too close to his. There was eye contact again.

"Oh I won't be tonight." He winked and looked at R/N who wasn't looking at you two.

"What do you mean?" You asked confused. "You're supposed to bring Laura home."

"Of course I will. But not without getting what I want." He quickly checked on R/N and without hesitation, he stole a fast kiss from you.

"Fuck off, Roger!" You said and left without saying any other word. Neither Roger nor R/N. He's such a player. You like it.

Roger walked at the garden again, Freddie was showing the flowers to Laura and she looked curious trying to understand each name of a flower. Now that Freddie noticed Roger's figure he walked at him.

"What happened?" He asked.

"She literally brought that asshole to my door." Roger was shaken.

"Wow, did she? What about Laura?"

"I'll drive her at Y/N's." He seemed thoughtful and Fred noticed it.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. "Oh dear, don't tell me you're thinking of-" Fred couldn't believe Roger would invade that way.

"Why not? She just gave me a reason to do it. She still loves me and I know it. Her words mean nothing to me." He looked at his friend, searching for any advice.

"Make sure she'll accept it, or if she resists and tries to stop you, fucking stop, apologise and leave." He had a point. Fred knows about how you two met and how it ended.

Later

"I want to stay a little more daddy..." Laura whined as Roger helped her tie her shoes.

"So do I, but your mommy wants you to go home." He looked her into her same coloured eyes.

"This is my home too, isn't it?" She was sad.

"Of course it is, baby. But you have to grow up a little to decide in whose place you want to stay." Roger explained.

"I love my mum but I want to be with you, we don't spend much time together and I feel sad about it." She leaned towards his shoulder, hugging him tightly. The same thing happens every Sunday night. Roger was emotional after what his girl just said.

"I know but we do call each other every day, I'm not that far." He tried to comfort her as they got in his car.

"You are daddy, you're not with mum. I mean, I'm happy she found R/N but I prefer my family. In one house." Her voice lowered a bit. Roger didn't answer regardless of how much he wanted to.

"Here we are baby." Roger broke the silence after the drive. He carried the bags for her and they took the lift to reach your flat, on the third floor. "Do you know if R/N is at your home now?" He asked his daughter.

"I didn't saw his car, I don't know..." she negatively shook her head.

"It's okay." He smiled at her and here he was. In front of your door. Scared.

"Mum! I'm home!" Laura knocked on the door and Roger heard your footsteps and your laugh. He melted at the sound of it.

"Welcome home baby! Give me a hug!" You opened your arms to hold her tight. "I missed you." You looked at her being safe and sound.

Roger was constantly looking inside the living room and the kitchen, searching for the other man's figure. Until Laura spoke.

"Mum, is R/N here?" She asked.

"No, he left earlier, but he got you a present!" you smiled at her but she didn't look excited about. "What's wrong?" You asked her.

"Can daddy come inside? Please, mommy?" She begged you to bring your ex-husband in the house. You and Roger looked at each other with your blood freezing. That was fully unexpected.

"Honey, he is busy tonight... He is making music with uncle Fred, Deaky and Bri." You tried to kick him out of your house with the kindest way possible.

"Please mum, as a family..." she was sad when she said the word family. Poor her, she's only eight and has to go through this. You put your ego aside and listened to your daughter's wish.

"Baby, you don't have to press your mum if she doesn't want me inside." No, you do want him inside the house or in you.

"No, it's okay, you can come in..." you stood up again and made way for Roger to come in. He gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek before closing the door and leaving his jacket next to it.

"Yey!" Laura shouted fully excited.

"But baby, you have to get to sleep in a little. You have school tomorrow!" You walked with her at the bathroom trying to help her with her night routine.

"I know mum, but I will sleep happily tonight knowing you and dad will keep me company." She smiled at you. She's so happy.

"I'm happy you feel this way." You kissed her cheek.

Meanwhile, Roger was in the kitchen fixing drinks for the two of you. He was silent, supervising the room. There was nothing related to him. Or at least he thought. He was sitting at the balcony now, enjoying the view. West London looks so good by night. He was waiting for you.

"Goodnight baby I love you." You said to Laura before closing her room's door. You passed the kitchen, searching for Roger's figure but not any luck. You felt a warm breeze coming from the living room and you saw him outside the balcony.

"Oh, there you are." He smiled, offering your drink.

"Oh, thanks, guess I need it." You nodded as you were staring at the glass.

"I fixed us some drinks just for a chilling situation. How come needing a drink? I mean, you barely touched them." You both sat at the bamboo chairs your balcony has. Roger was into a conversation with you. And so did you, you really wanted to exchange dialogue. You felt so lonely.

"I don't really think you're the ideal person to talk to right now but I'll settle." You raised your shoulders as your eyes focused at the city's lights.

"I'm all ears, are you okay?" He asked after drinking.

"I bet you're wondering why R/N is not here right?" You turned your body at his side, now facing each other. Just a table beside you.

"To be honest, I am. Is this why you're not okay?" He was confused. But also curious to find out.

"Not that it's your business but I don't let him stay here. Not when Laura is here." You started.

"So? That's what you have to do. Neither do I bring women at my house when she's around." He kind of interrupted you, but you weren't in the mood.

"Not this time Roger, please. If you want to argue with me, just leave." You slightly closed your eyes, showing how tired you felt.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Did R/N do anything? Shall I intervene?" He asked as his hand tried to reach yours.

"No. He was so furious after visiting your place. I guess it's my fault. He felt I was taking advantage of him all this time so you'd be jealous b-but I date him a long time without you knowing." You briefly explained the issue.

"So what happened?" Roger asked looking thoughtful.

"He insisted on staying at my place tonight but I obviously refused. I've explained to him that I can't present him to Laura yet. Not until that diner." You exclaimed.

"So he kinda left forever?"

"No, I reckon it was a disagreement and he'll call tomorrow. But I think he insisted on staying here so you wouldn't appear tonight." You figured out why you guys fought before Roger came at your place with your child.

"Whether I'm here or not, he has to respect your decision. Probably he's jealous." He giggled at the last sentence as he finished his drink. His fingers tried to reach yours, trying to play with them or caress them.

"Jealous of what?" You questioned in confusion. "I'm a divorced mother." The title got you into your feelings. You never wanted to be divorced. Let alone with a child.

"Whose husband tries to reach her." He smiled and oh god, you had to be looking him that moment.

"Why? We ended it in bad terms. We even fight after ending it." You stated.

"I don't care. I can't stay away from you and Laura." His hand covered yours. Your eyes were focusing on his action.

Feeling this kind of pressure, you walked inside trying to calm down. Your heart was pounding fast. You went inside your bathroom, covering your face with some cold water. "Stop overthinking about it Y/N... Relax. He's your man. You love him, he's not a stranger, right?" You whispered to yourself as you tried to catch a breath.

Meanwhile, Roger went into your bedroom, checking out the place if there's anything that belongs to him. Kinda. At your nightstand, there was a frame of him, you and Laura. The day she was born. Roger seemed to be emotional at the sight of the family photo. At the parlour, there was a photo album, recently touched and seen. Photos of him and you when you were dating awakens his huge desire to make love to you. "There's still hope in this mess." He whispered to himself and rushed to the bathroom waiting for you to come out.

You came out looking fresh and calm. There was intense eye contact, a long-lasting one. His hand tried to reach yours but instead, it caught your buttcheeks because you climbed on him with your legs around his waist and your lips against his.

"I fucking missed you." You moaned between your passionate kiss.

"So did I." He said back and walked through your bedroom and gently closed the door with his feet. "I want to make love to you so bad. Please let me." He begged when he gently placed you on bed's pillows.

"Make me love." Your voice was smooth and passionate. You were ready to feel him again, you were craving for it.

TO BE CONTINUED!1!1

#roger taylor #roger taylor x you #roger taylor x female reader #roger taylor x oc #roger taylor x y/n #queen #queen band #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may

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blondrichclosetwitch · 4 years

Text

“why i won't #shoutyourabortion by tinka jonakova. it was in fiona apple's hands. torn between being an artist and a mother, not even in new york six months, newly in love, my heart and soul were not cohabitating well with the baby growing inside of me. my brain was wrecked with the problems, my boyfriend deduced it to "it's just cells" and everyone seemed to have their own opinions. also, i had to announce my pregnancy to him over email because he lost his phone. for weeks i walked those rain-soaked streets. his long-term girlfriend would break-up with him if i had it. that hung in the air. i got tarot readings, astrology readings, asked people who had known me forever what i should do, and also people who had known me mere weeks their opinions. i was so busy asking everyone else that i never calmed down enough to ask myself.

i didn't trust myself back then enough to know.

the last thing i did while pregnant was go and see fiona apple. i was 12 weeks and i was going to let her decide for me. my hands were on my stomach the whole time. it's been 5 years. all year 5 years by david bowie has been playing for me over and over and over again.

after the show i walked around a grocery store talking to a friend from seattle who also has lived in brooklyn. she was as sensitive as myself and said it was hard to know what she would do if she was in my shoes. that brooklyn was no place to be pregnant. she now has a 6 month old boy. i texted the father and told him we needed to speak but in the apartment in washington heights that a friend was kind enough to let me stay in i got no phone reception and never heard from him.

the next day i went to union square. i was a mess. we met on a bench. he knew he had to go with me. i had tried to make an appointment once before but i had cancelled it because my heart was a stubborn organ. when i called him he raised his voice to me for the first time ever until i agreed to make another. it wasn't his finest moment.

last december i started listening to taylor swift of all things( that's because of my niece) and the very first song i heard was out of the woods. it seemed very clear that the song could have been about that day at the clinic. i've never had such a scary moment unless you count being hit by the car. those two are neck and neck. what sticks out in what i couldn't escape is turning my head towards him and the look in his eyes and for mere seconds, it shut everything else out. . that and him clutching my balled fist. his eyes said so much because i was so in the fucking woods, and scared to death, and that look let me know that he was there too, but that we would find our way out together.

turns out fiona apple doesn't want to have kids. (also, her song "Left Alone" just started to play. this happens all the time. I talk about something, and related music starts to play. I'm still trying to figure it out). I read that in a magazine article a few days later. don't think i didn't get that lesson loud and clear (The next song playing, btw, is Bowie's "Glass Spider" another reference to mothers and children...keep in mind this playlist is on shuffle and has over 6k songs---also I haven't heard that Fiona Apple song in many months).

Why be vulnerable in public? I don't know, it's a good question. Because it scares me to death. Why not try.

I carry that child with me every day. Ask my analyst. “

#out of the woods #taylornation #fiona apple #writer #5:55 #when you started crying baby i did too #taylor swift #shoutyourabortion

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ghost-btch · 6 years

Text

He Could Be The One~ 5 Seconds Of Summer

(Chapter One: Phoenix)

Prologue was posted right before this on my blog. I would link it but I'm scared it won't show up in the tags if I do.

Rating: literally for everyone lol

Warning: none besides the fact there may be grammatical errors, oops lol

Word Count: 1.6k

Author's note: You can read this also on wattpad, @/raineyC4. I may update quicker on there then here so go check it out on there aswell. This is my first Tumblr Fanfic so this is quite exciting, though I've been making stories on wattpad since 2016. Anyways enjoy the story!!

*******************************************

3rd Person P.O.V

The blue-eyed blonde singer stood right off stage. Her show would start in a few minutes. She was incredibly nervous, like always. She's done this for years but the anxiety is always there. But as clique as it sounds, every time she steps on stage that feeling fades away. She shook herself and prepared to walk on. Then before she knew it, it was her que to walk on.

The big screen on the back "wall" was flashing in black and white, then red "Phoenix". It glitching as it did so to the beat of the song.

That song was ...Ready For It? by Taylor Swift. Phoenix only had about 10 songs of her own out so she did a lot of covers.

"Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him..." Phoenix began to sing trying not to smile to create an effect.

As she sang she danced around the "T" shaped stage to the song. It seemed be choreographed but really she just made them up as she went. She was a true performer.

She wore a black body suite much like Taylor Swift wore during her preformce of the song. But it had more of shorts at the bottom. And it had a few red sparkles. Her hair was slightly curled and she wore crimson red lipstick. Her reddish boots went up to her knees.

When the song came to an end the next song, I Did Something Bad, started to play.

Phoenix loved to preform this song more then even her own songs. She had managed to learn Taylor Swift's original choreography to the song from watching the AMAs preformce over and over again. It was a dramatic performance and Phoenix loved it for that exact reason.

When she finished she was at the very end if the "T" stage in the middle. She laughed and smiled like an idiot looking over the crowd. And starring back at her where around what seemed a thousand people.

"Oh my God! I can't- I can't believe this is my life! Y'all have no idea how much I've dreamed and wished for the chance to do this. I love each and every one of y'all for being here. Whether you wanted to, weather you were bored and went to the nearest concert just because, or you were dragged here by someone else. Just thank you and I hope you guys like the show so far! You seem to be, but are you?" the crowd screamed, "Okay I'm gonna take that as a yes. Anyways she next song's called 'Don't Blame Me' and oh I'm Phoenix!" Phoenix said into the mic.

****

When the song finished she was back in the place she started. A trap "door" under her lowered her to under the stage. There she had to quickly change into the next costume while the ending music of "Don't Blame Me" played to the crowd.

While this happened a red piano was rolled out onto the stage. Phoenix walked out wearing a red sequined top with a red skirt that went to her knees.

She sat down on the little bench and started to play a few keys, "So this I wrote a while back when I was in middle school. I had this friend who I'd geek out with. Eventually I realized I liked him. After awhile I couldn't take it anymore and told him in a note that I practically threw at him out of nerves," she laughed at this, "Then after about a week he gave me a small piece of paper that read 'sorry I just want to be friends'. I was devastated of course, but I just hoped nothing would change. Oh how I was wrong. He never spoke to me again. Here's a song I wrote about a year later."

She proceeded to sing a song called "Let Things Go". It was written so long ago, and she was definitely, definitely, over the kid. But she every time she sang it she felt as if it was a new scar. 'Guess scars don't really ever go away?' She thought one day.

As soon as it finished she started to play another Taylor song, The Moment I Knew.

It of course started on the piano, but when it came to the chorus she stood up. And after the chorus she walked around the stage almost acting out the lyrics.

During the bridge Phoenix looked out into the crowd almost crying as the lyrics said it too.

As it finished ahead gave a soft smile. Just two years ago in her 20th birthday this song became so real for her. She wasn't quite over this scar yet.

She walked back to the piano and when she walked out from behind it she was no longer wearing the skirt, but now a pair of black shorts.

She then jumped up onto the piano and sat on it, her legs dangling off. The music of We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together started to play.

She began singing while still sitting until the "What?" part and acted out the song the rest of the song. Phoenix always had the most fun singing this song, it never got old. And by the end she was sat back on the piano.

"Liked that little costume changed?" Phoenix laughed as the crowd cheered.

She hoped off the piano, "So I was wondering if it was okay for me to do a little something different now? I won't be able to run around though, so there's a negative. But I really think you're gonna lie the positive! Just give me a second, I'll be right back."

She scampered off stage and when she walked back on she held a red guitar in her hands. She walked up to the microphone stand in the middle of the stage right before it extended out.

"So uhh, surprise!" Phoenix said into the mic smiling.

"So how about I play my guitar here for a few songs? I'll take that as a yes. So this first one is an old one. It's from an old Disney show called Hannah Montana. It was definitely my favorite TV show and this was one if my favorite songs. Never thought that eventually I'd laugh at a few lyrics because of someone. No I'm not saying who, though most of y'all probably already know. Anyways hears a song called 'He Could Be The One'!"

"Smooth talkin', so rockin'

He's got everything that a girl's wantin'

Guitar cutie, he plays it groovy

And I can't keep myself from doin' somethin' stupid..." she sang smiling at a few certain lyrics.

The girl completely jammed out to the song like there was no tomorrow. Running around in that one area when she wasn't singing. Yep definitely a performer.

"Well that was fun!" Phoenix laughed.

"Well I think it's time for one where I know y'all will have fun aswell." She said as she started to play "She's Kinda Hot" by 5 Seconds of Summer.

"Surprise!" She said right before singing.

But there was one thing that the girl had yet to find out. It was that, that very band stood only a few yards ahead of her.

The boys were just all hanging out in L.A. with nothing to do. Ashton suggest that they should just go to the nearest concert because why not? So they did. Now they stood towards the back kinda freaking out because someone was singing there song.

Then at the end of the song the music faded into "Babylon", another favorite of the blue-eyed singer.

The girl had so much fun playing this song and the audience loved it. Even the people who didn't know the original singers they still acted as if they did.

****

Phoenix changed into ripped back pants and a while shirt to sing the next few songs, all if which being her's.

Falling For You- a song revealed to be about fictional/celebrity crushes

Me- a song about her excepting who she really is

My Story- a song about her childhood and teenage years

We Don't Care About Anyone Else- a song she wrote about her friends and her, and the fact that they know they're weird but totally okay with that

After adding a leather jacket to the mix she also sang a song by Bea Miller called "We're Taking Over".

****

The last part of the concert was all the songs Phoenix felt was the funniest to sing/dance to.

Blank Space- making sure to point her tattoo of "Darling I'm A Nightmare, Dressed Like A Daydream" during that part.

New Romantics

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Then it came to almost a close:

"Well I'm sorry to say but this is the last song of the night. Thanks to all of you, you've made this a night to remember. And I hope that I was able to make you as happy as you've made me! This last song was my first single I put out. I've always been so proud of it and promised to sing it every show. It's about how my life was back in school, to what I'd hope my life would be, and now it really is. Oh and enjoy the original music video playing on the screen!" Phoenix smiled.

Phoenix danced around and sang like her life depended on it. She never wanted it to end. But unfortunately it did. When she finished she said "Thank you" once more and then ran around the perimeter of the stage to touch as may people's hands as she could. She did a bow and then waved with the biggest smile and went off stage.

~~~~

As the show came to a close the 5SOS boys decided to see if they could surprise the girl they just watch perform. But they had to figure out how to get back stage.

"We don't need another last time something like this happened." One said referring to a certain person.

"Hey!" was Ashton's response.

....

Tag list: @rip-lukes-balsamic @euphoric-swift //just comment if you'd like to be on my tag list//

A/N: try to guess who the person Phoenix likes hehe lol

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum 5sos #luke 5sos #ashton 5sos #michael 5sos #5sos stories #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos fandom #wattpad #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #michael clifford

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aintnouseofpretending · 6 years

Text

But My Love, This Cannot Be pt. 1

Mr M (Brian May) x Tomboy!Reader x Mr R (Roger Taylor) Time Travelling reader AU imagine

>>The continuation of Many Years Away. I strongly encourage new readers to read the previous Imagine and fully immerse yourself first before continuing because the story is escalating. Also, yes, this is a two-parter as I got too carried away explaining some details ._.

Tagging peeps that want the continuation~; @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @tini-monster

ENJOY!

Small recap; you’re a college student from twenty thirty-nine. Worked in a guitar store and as a session musician in a big recording studio near your flat. You have an odd dream of being in nineteen seventy-three and becomes May and Deacon’s best friend, which are your guitar heroes from the legendary rock band, Queen. But when you wake up, you actually have to work with Brian May. After showing your guitar and bass skills to him, he says; “Perfect. Sounds just like yesterday…”

Your days were never been more perfect than today. “Thank you, sir. You’re a very big influence on my entire career.”

“Just call me, May. We’re going to work together again anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I respect you too much to just call you like an old friend, sir.” You say, purposely ignoring the last bit of his sentence. Although you have some suspicion,

“But we are.”

“Whatever do you mean—?”

“Were you not to told me you’re from twenty thirty-nine, how would I be here? Specifically picking you? Let alone wrote ‘39? You even play, dress, and worked as a session musician, exactly like that day. It’s already impossible to forget, now it feels like we’re still in that awful studio, taping, the way you cannot seems to stop calling it. Annoyed Rog so much he throws his sticks at you. How many times was it?”

“… May?”

“You’ve missed many of our plays. John misses you, y/n. And so am I. Much more than you can imagine.”

Both of you catching up right after you got the chance to talk in private. At first, May cannot stop telling you how much he missed you, how much he cannot believe when the producer recommended you as a backup, the fact that you are indeed a time traveller. He’s trying his best to fulfil your last wish before you disintegrated; to be happy and live his life. “And to always remember you,”

You still don’t believe it, neither did he. But what for you was in a blink of an eye, for him it was almost sixty-five years. Whilst you wonder why are you time travelling, do the others know? How is Deacon? You can’t help but notice that May has been fidgeting, and when you mentioned Deacon or Taylor or Mercury, he looks a bit displeased, but he answered anyway,

“To stop the questions on your whereabouts, I simply told them that you might be too caught up in family issues and cannot come back.” At first, they’re looking for you whenever they got the time; especially Deacon, to the point that it depresses him greatly. Deacon doesn’t know you’re actually no longer existed, but May does, and it destroys him daily. Eventually, they accepted that they’re forever lost contact with you,

But things still don’t add up. How do you do that? To time travel? “You should know better than I do, May. You’re an actual scientist. Even in sixty-five years, it shouldn’t be possible to time travel yet, undoubtedly?” You wondered after both of you finally get the chance to talk again post-recording. “That’s a good question,”

He promises that the two of you will meet again to discuss it, for, unfortunately, his schedule was full this month. He said that he has dinner with his family, a birthday party; much it is to break your heart alone that you remember, he has a wife, kids, and grandkids. “Understood. Be careful on your way home, May. I will be right here,”

You pondered; do May still see you the same way? Surely he has moved on from your departure. And just thinking about that fact makes you a bit sad, how you stuck in time all by your lonesome. Why does that have to happen to you? What is actually going on? What did you do? … It was the cassette. You remembered you are listening to it before you're asleep last week, and then woke up in nineteen seventy-three. That cassette also the reason why you're back here. You’re uncertain whether you should listen to it again, but you made sure to tell May about it,

You’re still not unsure how listening to the cassette could make you travel back and forth in time. You go back to the music store from where you bought it. The clerk says that a man sold it there for a cheap price and later on the same day you buy it. The clerk—an acquaintance of yours, only knows that the man is middle-aged and since haven’t been seen. He can’t remember how the man looks, his memories are weirdly blurred when that happens. “Maybe I was hungover still. Don't tell my manager,”

After recording the next month, May inspects the cassette. He remembered that cassette, it’s Queen’s debut album after all, and one of the first few copies. He’s still quite happy when you come to him and ask him to be the first one to sign your copy. Although you never told him that Taylor was actually the one received the honour, but the bastard returns it to the sender with a note; only going sign it after you introduce him to this pretty bombshell that works in the same music store with you—the gal that already has a girlfriend. He ended up signing it from the peer-pressure given by his bandmates six months later,

“The process was unbelievably slow and painful. The hallucination becomes very vivid to the point that I might’ve been just in two different worlds at once, but stuck in the middle,” you explained. “I’m afraid I will be time travelling again if I listened to it.” “It looks like a normal cassette,” May noted, “although I haven’t seen that many cassettes for a long time. Highly probable that there’s difference cannot be seen with naked eyes,”

“Perhaps I should try and listen to it?” You suggested, “you can see how it works on me.” At first, he’s pretty much against it due to safety. But you reason that the process most likely won't escalate if you didn't tell him about it, someone that's correlated directly with the cassette You wish to gain as many information as possible to help the research later. Also to further prove that you are indeed could time travel. “My first priority will be getting this cassette to travel back here. Make it as short of a trip as possible,”

“Is that all?” He asks, but you only shrug. “Yes. I shan’t try to change things. Instead, I'll collect photographs, tapes, and some other legit proves about my existence in that year that you—or someone—could keep until exactly today. Look for more clues and blends in. Maybe there's more to this cassette when I first bought it in the seventies.” “Why?” “Because we should stop and hide this time travelling business that could potentially harm many people,"

“No. Why don’t you want to change things?”

“Why, May, I don’t belong in seven-thirties, I belong today. Before this trainwreck happens, my life is just a store clerk and a musician and a college student. Idolizing and to be like you. But you shouldn’t know about me at all; we’ve never met.”

“Yes, that’s how it is, before. But now that you have the power to change the history, why don’t you change it?”

“Why should I? What if that’s the cause in the first place? That someone has done it before and sold the cassette to forget about it, and now it happens to me? Besides, I am content with what I am today.”

“Surely?” He pleaded. That’s when you realised what he meant. There might be a huge doubt in your heart, but you have made up your mind. You know there’s no use to lie in front of the smart May, still, you did, and explained that you have no right to change things, whatever causes you to have such power. He respects your decision in the end. “What matters right now is finding how this works. We can stress about that later.” You closed the discussion,

Back to the cassette, you bought your priced vintage portable cassette player. You put on the headphone, waiting for May as he prepares the papers and pen, and making sure the camera is recording; so he can see and deduce how it works based on your reactions later. Unfortunately, by the time the music start, you passed out in an instant. When you are awake, however, you feel incredibly dizzy,

You don't remember what you've been dreaming, but it's something very real… Of someone. You promised someone that you'll buy… Something to go back? To buy them something? It's about music—perhaps a record? A cassette… It was a cassette! But for whom? And what cassette? You promised someone that you'll buy them a cassette—oh! Now you remember! You're supposed to bring your demo cassette to the new recording studio so that you can be a permanent session musician with Jordan!

You saw the clock on the wall and realised you're awfully late already! You quickly change your clothes and ran to the new recording studio. You're in so much hurry that you flung yourself out of the way of someone that's coming in your direction; nearly breaks your cassettes but magnificently hurt your own arse in the process—at least you didn't hurt whomever passerby you almost shouldered out the Earth,

“I'm so sorry! I didn't see there was someone around the corner!” A man profusely apologizing as he reached down and help gather your belongings. “Not to worry! I will be the one beaten by my boss! Have a good day, sir!” You told him whilst you put everything as fast as you can in your arm, although you can't help but notice that the man is a bit striking with his kinky brunette hair and a tall, skinny body. A familiar sight, you have to say, though you have no time to confirm it and simply continue running past his blonde girlfriend,

No matter whether the band wasn't ever here yet or to witness his glorious cracking voice, the producer took the liberty to be as loud and as merciless as he could when he yelled at you. He even pointed at your cracked cassette as you, apparently, left the good copy by the road; a disgraceful sign of the shit he and Jukebox—the band—has to listen to today. “You're lucky Jordan recommended you, or I might fire you on the spot,”

You try your best to hide the smug smile you had when Jukebox is visibly impressed by your skills, completely ignored the producer biased opinions. Despite witnessing your win, you're not ringed on the day where Jukebox supposedly taping. “Yeah. But you don't have to come. In the end, I didn’t do anything.” Jordan answered after you ask if he was ringed. That's odd. Not being ringed today… Weirdly doesn't feel right. As if you're supposed to get ringed in as a backup even though you're not doing anything. You later simply shrug it off, thinking maybe you're still quite upset the producer is so against you,

But it doesn't end there; once you did get ringed, you feel that odd tug again in the bottom of your heart. Relieved as though this indeed supposed to happen, that things are going back on track. When you've arrived, however, new curious thing hits you like a truck and tops every gut feelings you've felt these past weeks—you saw that tall man with the kinky hair again, in the studio, with his blonde girlfriend… Wait, the blue-eyed gal is a man! He's the drummer,

“They're the new band that had been using the studio past the taping schedule,” Jordan explained. “Name is Queen.” That's it! When you heard that name, you don't know why you instantly recognize them; vocalist Freddie Mercury, bassist John Deacon, drummer Roger Taylor, and… Guitarist Brian May. “You might've heard of them when we're out hanging in the clubs.” Oh, alright. Now that makes sense, but still, that fact doesn't satisfy you, there's supposed to be more to it, but again, you didn't bother…

In your mind you thought; “Alright, what the fuck is going on? Why did I have been feeling endless déjà vu since this morning?”. That reaction immediately sparked after you play both your guitar and bass since Dorian—Jukebox’s guitarist—broken his fingers from partying too hard, and the fact that Loui—the vocalist, told you to just straight up play the bass as well since you’re obviously skilled enough. And then come May and Taylor forward; they practically approach you straight up to comment on your skills after Jukebox taping is over,

That feeling like things doesn’t go right now is much clearer for you to identify; the fact that you expect May and another Queen member to came to you, but Taylor isn’t supposed to be the other one. Or that Taylor is the one that gives comment and praises your skills instead of May. Rather, May only apologizes about the previous incident and mostly listens to your answer for Taylor’s barrage of questions,

“We would like for you to watch us taping,” May insisted, desperately. “You should watch them taping, yes. They’re good.” Jordan agrees. “If the three of you said that word again, I will deck all of ya’,” shouted Taylor from behind his drum set. “What? Taping?” You received two sticks directly at your shoulder; thrown at full speed. Whilst Jordan and Deacon scolded Taylor for being rude to a woman—Taylor thought you were a guy with “uniquely progressive” fashion choice up until that point. Instead of anger, you, Taylor, and May laugh. There’s this familiar humour that tingles you and made you question why you find it funny instead of rude?

You try your best to convince yourself that you are indeed, perhaps, watched them play on a stage in one of the college gigs you attended or in any music clubs. But no. Their play is far too familiar—in a sense that as if you've been stalking them since the day they made Queen. The fact that you’re supposed to listen to them the day you’re not ringed when Jordan does makes you very upset—again for no reason; as to why you know you should have listened to them already despite finding them as familiar as the palm of your left hand, and for the fact that you think things have been nothing but a line of wrongness,

“Yeah, I really can’t. This is the third Saturday of the month, I have dinner with grandma.” You told the musicians when Jordan and May ask you to have dinner with them at the nearest pub. Jordan immediately put you into his hug that at first surprised you, but then he said; “Mate, your grandma’s been dead for two years. Let go.” “What the bloody hell are you—she’s alive!” Then it hits you. What he’s saying is right, you even remembered crying your eyes out as he hugs your shoulder. You think; “No. This is far too wrong. Something isn’t right. My mind and memory are fucking me up.”

“You’re right. Maybe that’s why I need to go home.” You resigned weakly, “have fun boys. You will be taping again tomorrow, correct? I will come and see if you don’t mind.” You could hear a subtle worried whisper asking “Is she alright?” which you presumed came from May,

Once you’ve locked the door, you quickly discard your coat away and sat on the cold floor. You try to think so very hard about the madness you’ve been through, that your stomach is swirling by itself trying to tell you what is right what is wrong without further made clear where it steers you to. Then you grab a pen and crumpled paper, write down the right-wrong things your own body trying to tell you; One, when you bumped with May and you felt like he’s your old middle school friend that lost contact with you. Two, you know that even Jordan doesn’t do anything when ringed in, but the fact you’re not even ringed upsets you greatly. Three, when you’re finally ringed; it feels so right. Four, the fact that there’s Queen and you feels like you’ve known them since their first debut gig. Five, that May and Taylor came to you and complimented your skills. And Six, your grandma. Your heart and gut declared that she’s indeed still alive, but your brain emotionlessly tells you that you attended her funeral shitfaced and simply still can’t get over it in two years straight,

After listing all of them and that particularly peculiar day ends, you decided that if you feel it again, you will investigate it further. One more to the list; Seven, the cassette. The cassette your brain trying to remember was not your demo cassette, it was something else—precisely about buying it, but for whom you still have no clue,

Since the day you met Queen, you have been watching and aid them taping. The weird feeling is gone, and you’re very grateful. You, May, and Taylor quickly becoming a best friend; you don't know why you're best friend with Taylor, though. Taylor occasionally casually chipping in—mostly because he throws his sticks at you for you seems to cannot stop using the wrong term; plays for gigs, taping for recording, at this point you continue doing it because you know it pisses him off,

“You’re going back to the campus after this, y/n?” Ask Deacon, you nodded in response. “Why, aren’t you model student? Be cool, hang with us more. Maybe you can hook with one of us.” Mocked Taylor as he sits next to Deacon. You happen to have lunch with them since they’re finally back in London after their debut album tour. “I have to be a model student for myself. Thesis incoming. That’s why I can’t help you with your next album.” You explained, completely ignoring Taylor's suggestion. “Never crossed my mind to ask you about it, but what’s your major?” May inquired. “Astro—,” you scrunch your nose as you think, “music.” You answered, finally. There it is, the weird feeling is back,

“Bri was Astrophysics. Never knew there's another major, what? Astromusic? That sounds cool. And how come you forget about it?” Taylor jokes again. “Wait, so that means you can’t tag long for our next tour?” You shake your head, continue eating. “That’s very unfortunate,” May sighed deeply, you can only shrug. "Listen to our cassettes if you miss us, love. Don’t worry, I will miss ya.” He said with a wink. Your spoon stopped mid-way as you quickly look at Taylor that’s being smacked by May and Deacon for some reason,

“What? You’ve forgotten to hook me with the shag? Don’t you want me to sign your cassette? Or you instead want to hook with me?” Your eyes widened as you dropped your spoon, which causes a confused reaction from the boys. “What cassette?” You queried, now this makes both Taylor and May shows expression of a sudden realization for something. “Didn’t you… Didn’t I say I will sign your copy of our debut cassette once you introduce me with the gal from your music store?”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t buy your debut cassette, I’m busy helping Jukebox and jamming with Jordan.” “Hold on. Wasn’t I the first one to sign it?” May adds, but just as unsure. “No?” “Bri was right! I saw him signed it with John!” Taylor nudges Deacon. The man was completely lost as to what happened with the three of you. “Y/n never come to me to sign anything.” “Exactly—,”

It’s like getting your head hit with a giant dictionary book, you finally remembered! Both your mouth and eyes were as wide as they can be. You are indeed from the future and—, “fucking shit! I forgot completely!” You screamed and jump from the chair, ran outside and to the store where you’re supposed to buy the cassette. It was almost on the other side of the city, but you’re glad you brought your bike with you,

“Have—,” you cough like crazy before you could even talk, scaring the store clerk, which are your friend. The same exact friend that sold you the cassette in the future. “What on earth is happening to you?” “The Queen! Queen debut cassette! Have you sold any?” “No—?” You immediately go to the rack. It’s there, what you assume is the same one from your first run in the past. You immediately fall down the floor, trying to calm yourself whilst inspecting the cassette; it was exactly the one you bought on the first time you’re in the past, because it’s a wee bit misprinted by half a centimetre which bothers the hell out of you, but it’s already signed when you notice it,

“You got the cassette?” Someone squatted right next to you. “May? Wait, what?” The man only nodded, “you should pay for it. Let’s talk outside,”

“I should’ve taken a taxi like you. I feel like dying,” you’re still wheezing, glad the air is much better than it was in the future. “But how?” You questioned, May folded his hands on his chest and contemplate. “I’m not sure. Do you remember when you throw yourself into the pavement just to avoid bumping that night? I have felt since then that you looked familiar. I thought you were my old school mates I might’ve forgotten. But then I remembered things we’ve done on your first time in the past—the fact that Rog said exactly the same thing despite everything was completely different… Perhaps he is affected too? But the memories of after your first disintegration was… Much more blurry. Same with when before you’re disintegrated in front of my eyes in twenty thirty-nine. I think my brain thought it was false memories and simply decided they're not important,”

As interesting as they sound, unfortunately, you really can’t be bothered about that much, so you told him to write it down. Now your objectives are to get as many proofs as you can and May will keep them safe until twenty thirty-nine, and go back to the future. “I’m terribly sorry that you have to go through another sixty-five years whilst I can travel back and forth as if the year thirty-nine was in Wales.” “About that, uhh... Should we really hurry?”

“May. Don’t. I have made up my mind. It’s far too dangerous if this fall on someone else’s hand. God knows they have certain things in mind on how to use this.” He closed his eyes and nods, “thank you.” He catches your arm. “Why I’m back here too is perhaps because I listened to the cassette. It was a week after you’re gone, and you haven’t come back. I was worried and helpless. Please understand.” “Well, at least there’s a silver lining to it—that you don’t have to live another sixty-five years to got to thirty-nine! And I’m awfully glad that I know I’m no longer have to do this alone,”

Both you and May bought a Polaroid camera and cassette recorder. The two of you jams together and taped the session, take pictures with the band and Jordan and Jukebox. In your flat, as you put the “proofs” of your existence in 1973, you saw the pic of you with May, Freddie, and Taylor jamming, the one that Deacon took. Something inside of you crumbles. “What happened, y/n? Are you okay?” You didn’t notice you’ve shed tears and it falls on the picture. “No. Nothing happened,”

May sat next to you and grab your hand. You stared at his hazel eyes. “I will miss you and Taylor. I will miss everyone living in this year.” You whisper as you hug him. “You’re a dear friend of mine.” You tighten your hug, and he does the same. You let go and wipe your tears. Before May could say anything you both will regret, you cut him, “we will study this cassette. Promise me you will.” He reaches for your hand one last time, give it a quick squeeze before he stands up and sits somewhere else,

“Ready?” He asks. You nodded. Your eyes never leave his, same goes for him. You both took a deep breath when he clicked the play button...

To be continued...

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imaginationintowords · 3 years

Text

Folklore [song series]

this is me trying

Modern Day AU! Steve Rogers x OC!Reader; Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years.

word count: 3592

[a/n: I’m so sorry that it’s taken me so long to update this and my other story. i’ve been busy with school and work. thank you for your continued patience and support]

previous part

Series Masterlist

Age: 20 Year: Dec. 2014 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"How have you been James?”

Bucky looks out the window to his right. Hands grasped together in his lap as he sits on the dark green sofa across from the woman he's been seeing for the last 5 months.

He ponders the question, making sure to answer it honestly. He looks back at her giving her his full attention again.

"Good," he answers truthfully, a small smile planted on his face. Life has been good. School is going incredibly well. My job is going better than I could've imagined. Really learning a lot."

"How are things going with Natasha?" The older lady asks.

“Great. Really great," Bucky says with a slightly bigger smile.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," she smiles back, proud to the see progress James has made since his first visit moths ago.

After the blow up he and Steve had, Bucky fell into a depressive state. He refused to talk to anyone about what had happened. It wasn't until his younger sister Rebecca came to talk to him:

"I get you don't want to talk to any of us about what happened last week," she said as Bucky laid in bed looking out the window, his back facing her, "But you can't just stay in bed, hiding for the world. Starving yourself isn't going to solve anything.

"Sulking is only going to make you worse. It's not healthy, Buck. We're all worried. Ma is incredibly worried. She's barely been eating. I hear her wandering the house at all hours, because she can't sleep."

"You don't want to talk to us, fine. But you need to talk to someone. If not for yourself, but for Ma. Please," she begs, before leaving Bucky alone to ponder what she said.

He knew he wasn't coping the healthy way. He hadn't realized how much he was affecting his family by shutting down. The last thing he wanted to do was worry his mother. So he got himself up, took a shower, ate breakfast with his family. They were surprised to see him come down, but tried not to draw any extra attention to it. Rebecca gave him an understanding nod, which he reciprocated. After breakfast, he began his research. He decided to listen to Rebecca's advice and find someone to talk to someone to help him make sense of what is going on in his mind.

And that's how he ended up in Dr. Abraham's office.

"Have you contacted Steve yet?" She asks.

"No," he answered fiddling with his fingers, "I feel embarrassed about the way I reacted."

"That's normal, James," she assured him, "But in order to repair any damage that's been cost, you need to talk to Steve. To move forward. From what you've told me he's a very understanding person. I'm sure once you've apologized and explain to him the steps you've taken to help your mental health, I'm sure he'd be willing to accept you back into his life."

"I'm not so sure," he looked down at his hands.

"You won't know until you've tried. Listen, I'm not here to tell you what to do or what not to do. I'm just here to help you navigate your thoughts a little better. In a more healthy way. If you're really serious about living a more healthier mental life, I think you should talk to him. You don't want to really throw this lifelong friendship away, do you?"

"No, I don't," he shakes his head.

"Good. Remember to be honest," she tells him, "Vulnerability isn't a bad thing. Your feelings aren't a nuisance. it's how you handle them is what matters. I'm not saying you have to talk to him as soon as you walkout of here. I just want you to start making the notion of doing so. Our time is just about up, how about we do this. Some homework for the week.

"I want you to write a letter to Steve. Bring it in next week, you don't have to read it. But I would like to discuss it. What do you say?"

"Okay, I could do that," he agreed.

Christmas week

Steve and Elizabeth flew back home a few days before Christmas. They put their bags in the trunk of their rental car.

The car ride was silent for awhile, both tired after a long flight, now sitting in traffic on their way back to their parents' place. This would be their first time back to Brooklyn since the whole Bucky situation. The road trip back to California was fun, but there was a looming sadness over Steve. It's not like he regrets standing up to Bucky he doesn't. He just wishes thing would've played out differently. He really wished Bucky would've talked to him before he left back to California.

"How are you feeling about being back?" Elizabeth asks, while they sat in traffic.

"I don't know," Steve sighs, "Feels weird going back home and not talking to Bucky."

"Maybe you should try calling him. It's been a few months. I'm sure he'd be willing to hear you out," she said, rubbing his right arm.

"I don't want to push him," Steve said through gritted teeth, his grip on the steering wheel getting tighter.

Bucky had been a touchy subject the last few months. During the first month Elizabeth would ask Steve if he'd heard from him, the answer always being no, followed by Steve shutting down. After that Elizabeth stopped asking, noticing how much it was affecting Steve, but the constant reminder of it wasn't helping. She knew that if Bucky ever did call, Steve would tell her. The only thing she could do was be patient and be there for Steve whenever he needed her.

The holidays kept everyone busy. On Christmas Eve. Steve spent it with Elizabeth's family at her grandma's house. Elizabeth found herself watching Steve play with her younger cousins, she couldn't help but giggle when they roped him into a tea party. She found herself imagining a future where Steve would do the same with their own children. She quickly shook the daydream away. Reprimanding herself a little for even thinking about kids at their young age.

On Christmas morning Elizabeth and Steve spent it with his parents. It was a nice peaceful day just lounging around in their pajamas. For dinner, Elizabeth's parents went over to have dinner at the Rogers' house. It was a nice little send off dinner for their parents who were leaving for Mexico to spend the New Years for a couples' getaway.

Elizabeth and Steve were heading to the Hamptons to spent NYE with Wanda, Thor, Loki, and Scott. They had planned to have a nice, peaceful trip.

While Steve and Elizabeth were at the Hamptons, Bucky and Natasha were spending their NYE at his family's beach cottage in Port Washington.

They were cuddled on the couch surrounded by take out containers, watching the New Years Eve special waiting for midnight to happen.

Bucky got up about 15 minutes to midnight to grab something from the kitchen. He walked back into the room with a new bottle of champagne and two champagne flutes.

"Got some champagne," he said holding it up for Natasha to see.

"Um," Natasha awkwardly shifted in her seat, "Actually about that."

Bucky looked at Nat confused, putting the bottle and flutes down on the coffee table before sitting back down next to her.

"What's wrong" he asked, grabbing the tv remote to mute the tv, and give Natasha his full undivided attention.

"So there's something I haven't told you," she says looking down at her fidgeting fingers.

"You're worrying me Nat," Bucky said, grabbing her hands to help ease her nerves

She looked up to meet his worry filled eyes.

"I'm pregnant," she announced.

Bucky eyes widen at her announcement, instantly dropping her hands. The look on her face showing she was telling the truth.

"How is that possible?" He asks in disbelief, "We've been so careful. We use double the protection. Condoms and you're on the pill."

"Actually about that," she nervously shifted under his intense gaze, "I haven't been on birth control in a little over two months."

"What?" Bucky yelled, quickly rising from his seat, "What do you mean you haven't been on birth control in a little over two months?"

"I got off of it," she shrugged trying to play it off, "It's my body and I can do what I want with it. And I just wanted to give my body a break, I've been on the pill since I was 15."

"I get it's your body, Natasha, I'm all for you doing whatever you want," he stresses, "but you should've told me. I'm your boyfriend, we have sex frequently. You should've at least had the respect of your sexual partner, letting him know that you were no longer on birth control. So in that case I could've been a tad more careful."

"We were using condoms," she half heartedly defended herself.

"They aren't 100% effective Natasha," he gripped his hair, in complete disbelief over this entire conversation, "You even know that. That also doesn't defend yourself for not telling me. You should've told me."

"I'm sorry. It's not like I was planning for this to happen," she yelled.

Bucky just stared at her like she just grew two heads. How is she not freaking out, he thought. They were clearly way too young for this. Which is why they took precautionary measures.

After a few moments of silence Natasha spoke up, "I'm keeping the baby."

Bucky didn't know what to say. He felt the room closing in on him. He started having a hard time catching his breath.

"James," Natasha quietly said, getting up to check on him. He raised his hand, silently telling her to stay where she's at.

He headed for the back door, the house felt too suffocating for him. He walked through the the small yard to the gate that led to the beach. Stumbling around.

To a stranger they would just think he's drunk. In reality he was just having a panic attack.

It was all too much. His mind was racing.

She's pregnant. With a baby. My baby. I'm going to have a kid. I'm going to be a dad. I'm not ready to be a dad. My dad was shit. God I can't be like my dad. I'm not ready for all of this.

He put his hands on his knees, hunched over trying to catch his breath. But he just couldn't. He did the only thing he could think of. He pulled out his phone and dialed the only person he knew would help.

Steve and Elizabeth were laughing with their friends, waiting for the countdown to begin. Steve felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He moved his shoulder off of the back of the couch, where Elizabeth was cuddled up against.

He pulled his phone out and his heart dropped at the name that appeared. He quickly got up and walked out of the living room and upstairs to the room where he was staying in for the week.

Wanda raised her eyebrow at Elizabeth, who just shrugged her shoulders, equally as confused.

"Bucky?" Steve answered the phone, closing the door behind him. He could hear Bucky hyperventilating on the other side.

"Steve," he tried to get out.

"Buck, what's wrong?" Steve asked, pressing the phone even closer to his ear the sound of everyone downstairs counting down to midnight.

"Steve, I-," Bucky was struggling to get out.

"Buck, please try to calm down," Steve stressed, "Inhale, hold it for a few seconds and then exhale. You need to calm down. I can't help you, if I can't understand you."

Bucky tried his best to calm himself down, with Steve talking him through it.

"Now, can you explain to me what's wrong?" Steve asked, hearing Bucky's breathing leveling out more.

"I-I'm not re-ready Steve," Bucky stutters, sniffling his nose.

"It's okay take your time, I'm here whenever you're ready."

"No, it's Natasha.”

"What's Natasha? Is she okay?" Steve questioned, getting more concerned.

"Yes, she's fi-ine," he stuttered again, trying to say the words.

"Where are you Buck?" Steve asked, looking around for his shoes and keys.

"I'm at the beach cottage."

"I'm in the Hamptons. Is there any way you can meet me back at my place?"

"Yeah, I think I can," Bucky said a bit more calmer now.

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

When midnight struck Elizabeth went upstairs to check on Steve, making sure everything was okay. She could hear him on the phone talking to Bucky, trying to calm him down. She waited outside of the door to give them some privacy.

Twenty minutes later Wanda went to go check on them, to find Elizabeth sitting on the floor.

"Is everything okay?" She whispered.

"I don't know," she answered, "I'm waiting for Steve. You can head back down, I'll be down shortly."

"Okay. We're here if you guys need anything," Wanda said before walking back down.

After another 25 minutes Elizabeth heard Steve hang up the phone. She softly knocked on the door, and let herself in. She walked in to see Steve frantically going around the room collecting his things.

"Steve is everything okay?"

"It's Buck. He called me while he was having a panic attack. Something about Natasha," he tells her.

"Is she okay?"

"I think so. I was able to calm him down. I need to get back home," he said putting his things in his suitcase.

"Okay. I completely understand. Do you want me to go with you for the drive?" She asked.

"I don't want you to have to cut your time here short," he says, feeling guilty for bringing this on her.

"Steve, something is clearly going on with Bucky. I want you to go to him, but maybe it's best if I drove. I haven't had a drink in hours, and you seem too frantic. Please let me help," she pleaded, placing her hand on his stopping him.

Steve looked up and noticed the worry on Elizabeth's face.

"Okay," he gave in, "We'll need to leave as soon as we can."

Elizabeth nodded, quickly grabbing her weekender bag and start shoving things in. If they forgot anything's he knew Wanda would bring it back.

They said their quick goodbyes and were on the road within 5 minutes, with Elizabeth behind the wheel and Steve fidgeting in the passenger seat.

Bucky took a few minutes to himself on the beach, trying to make sure his anxiety was at rest before he headed back inside. When he entered the house, Natasha shot up from her seat.

"Happy New Years," she awkwardly said, trying to cut the obvious tension.

"Umm," Bucky scratched his head looking everywhere but at Natasha, "We need to leave."

"What?"

"I mean, you can stay if you want and I'll pick you up tomorrow," he rephrased, "But I can't stay here. I need to go. Steve is meeting me at his house."

"Steve?" She was taken back by that mention, not expecting to hear Bucky say his name. He hasn't mentioned Steve in months.

"Yeah, I called him," Bucky says rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well that's good right?"

"Yeah, listen. I really need to go, so are you going to stay or come with me?"

"To see Steve?"

"No. I would drop you off at your place," he tells her, "I'm seeing Steve alone."

"Will she be there?"

Natasha didn't really know exactly why Steve and Bucky weren't talking, at first. Then she heard that Steve and Elizabeth were dating, and it all made sense. The only person that could tear Bucky and Steve apart. She never told Bucky that she knew. Figured it wasn't worth the fight. Especially not now when she was carrying his child.

To an outsider it might seem like she got pregnant on purpose, but that wasn't the case. She knew they were too young for this, at least that's what she thought when she first found out about the pregnancy a week ago. But now that she's sat with it she's taking it as a sign that this is meant to happen. She's just really hoping that Bucky would see it, if not now but eventually.

"Listen, Natasha, I don't have time for this," he looks her in the eyes, "Are you coming or not?"

"I'll get my bag," she remarked with a snark tone, walking passed him to their shared room.

A couple of hours later Bucky was pulling up in front of the Rogers' house. 2:15 am read the clock in his car. He looked to his right, out the passenger side window to see a dark figure sat on the front steps of the house.

Bucky took one last breath before exiting the vehicle.

As soon as he opened the front gate Steve stood up from where he was sat on the stairs.

Once Bucky approached him both young men threw their arms around each other. Gripping each other tightly, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. They stayed like that for awhile. Relishing in the comfort of being back in each other's arms. Their silent fight no longer important. All they knew in that moment was everything was going to be okay, because no matter what they'll always have each other.

Steve walked into his parents' living room holding two mugs of coffee. As he rounded the couch, he handed one to Bucky.

"Sorry, if I ruined any of your plans," Bucky apologized, "Tell Elizabeth I'm sorry for taking you away."

'Buck, don't worry about it," Steve waved him off, "She completely understands. And truth be told, I wasn't necessarily feeling in the New Year's mood."

"Yeah," Bucky sighs.

"Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?" Bucky nods his head, placing the coffee mug on the coffee table in front of him. He shifted his body to the left to face Steve.

"She's pregnant," he announces.

"What?" Steve asked, not expecting that to be the reason, he quickly placed his mug next to Bucky's.

"Yeah, my reaction exactly," Bucky said.

"What? How?"

"Apparently Natasha hasn't been on the pill in a couple of months," Bucky explains, "And even though we always used condoms, they aren't exactly 100% effective."

"Did you know she wasn't on the pill?"

"Nope," Bucky tells him, "If I knew I wouldn't been a bit more cautious."

"So she told you she was pregnant?" Steve said getting back to it.

"Yeah. She was so nonchalant about it. Like it was no big deal," Bucky stressed,

"How is she just so calm. We're not prepared for this. I'm not ready for this Steve. I can't be a dad. I don't even know how to be a decent human being."

"That's not true Buck," Steve disagreed.

"Come on Steve, we haven't talked in months, and we both know it's not because you didn't try," Bucky says, "I was so caught up in my own jealousy. And selfishness, that I never even considered your feelings or Elizabeth's. And I don't think I can ever make it up to you for treating you like you're nothing to me."

"You were hurt," Steve tried to excuse.

"Doesn't excuse the way I behaved," Bucky says, "I know that now."

"I've been seeing a therapist," Bucky informs him, "I never realized how much my mental health was taking a toll on those around me. So after our fight, I found someone to talk to. To work through the shit that's going on in my mind."

"How's that been going?" Steve asked.

"Good," Bucky gives a half smile, "Really good. She's good. I've realized a lot about myself that I didn't know. Working through all the issues I've had with my father leaving."

"That's good Buck. I'm proud of you, truly," Steve beamed, patting Bucky on the shoulder.

"I really am sorry for the way I behaved," Bucky repeated again.

"Buck, you really don't have to apologize again," Steve told him.

"I need to Steve," he said, "I can't believe I acted that way. I should've been happy for you and Elizabeth. I'm glad you two have each other. Seriously. I couldn't imagine her with anyone better, same goes for you. I won't cause any more issues for you two. It's not worth not having you in my life. You're my brother Steve, and I don't want to miss anything."

"Thanks, Buck. It really means a lot to me to hear that," Steve smiles, "Because I don't want to miss anything in your life also."

"Yeah, especially now," he says, the reality of why they're there dawning back.

"How are you feeling now about the baby?"

"I don't know, man," Bucky shakes his head, "I'm afraid I'm going to screw this up, like everything else."

"But now you're working on that," Steve reminds him, "And you're not going to be doing this alone. You have people who are always going to be there. I may be in California now, but I'm just a phone call away. You're not alone. But you do have to try Buck. That's all that you can ever do. Try your best, no one's asking you to be perfect, but as long as you're trying your best, that's what's important."

Age: 21 Year: 2015

The sounds of a baby crying woke Bucky up from his sleep in the early depths of the morning. He quietly and quickly got out of bed, making his way to the small New York kitchen to make a bottle.

He walked into the small nursery where the two-month-old baby wailed from hunger.

"It's okay," Bucky shushed gently, picking up the small baby, "Daddy's here."

He adjusted the small baby in his arms before placing the bottle in the baby's mouth.

"There you go," he encouraged the small one, as soon as he heard the sounds of the baby drinking.

Bucky sat down on the chair in the corner of the room, opposite of the crib. He just stared as the newborn drank their bottle, while simultaneously falling asleep. Even though he was completely exhausted, he had never felt more happier. More at peace with where his life was at.

As long as he kept trying his best, he knows he can do this for the rest of his life.

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