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inuyashaluver · 3 months

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Are we getting any Ona x reader Childhood sweetheart??

mi media naranja (my better half) - ona batlle

ona batlle x reader

description: in which you and your childhood friend watch each other grow up, going through different partners, life stages and miraculously ending up in a surprising result

warnings: it’s a long one - buckle up!! catalan in bold italics, mentions of cheating and tears

a/n: hiya, lovey! i hope you don’t mind that i tweaked this into a childhood friends to lovers situation, i really hope you enjoy❤️

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and your best friend, ona, were the epitome of inseperable. your special bond was formed by years of shared laughter, inside jokes, secrets and late night conversations that stood the test of time.

you and ona knew each other better than anyone, the years of being best friends proving soulmates existed.

at first you both believed it was platonic soulmates but as the seasons and years went by, so did your dynamic, unbeknownst to either of you at the time.

it began through the subtle shift in stolen glances and unspoken words and conversations lingering in the air, something felt different for both of you.

little did you both know, the journey and progression from being best friends formed the very foundation of your relationship in the present.

—

[ 7 years old ]

it all started in school, a young ona experimentally kicking a football to a lonely you to test out the waters during lunch break.

in the beginning, you were incredibly shy, finding it hard to make friends at the time. her kindness made your heart warm and when you kicked the ball back, you both knew the other would be in your lives forever.

she came up to you and managed to get you to open up, she was pleasantly surprised to find out that you were quite chatty when you talked about something you were interested in. she loved it.

she’d listen to your words intently, each word engraving new lore about you in her mind, making an effort to remember as much about you as she could.

“one day, we’re gonna play together for spain and bring home a gold medal” ona promises, nudging your shoulder with hers as you both sat next to each other on the grass.

you laugh and nudge her back, nodding and holding your pinky up, she smiled cheekily and interlocked her own with yours, a promise you both intended to keep.

everyday at school, you and ona grew closer. your families were so happy with the fact that you’d made a friend so close, both of you at each other’s houses every other day. it just felt right for the both of you and everyone around you.

—

[ 12 years old ]

you and ona were joined at the hip, not even an exaggeration, you were never apart. you and ona had promised each other that wherever the other would go, you would follow in suit.

it was a non verbal promise but something that was just understood between the two of you.

you and ona had been scouted in your local club to join the youth barcelona team, both of you squealing and jumping around on her bed when you both discussed the situation. however, promptly scolded by ona’s mum that had you both in a fit of giggles.

because the two of you played together so often, each other’s playing styles were very much adapted into your own.

ona was a defender while you played in the midfield, the two of you always linking up to score a goal or an assist.

you both didn’t even need to look at each other to know where to pass or aim, the presence of one another being enough to score goals that had people impressed by your performances.

you and ona thrived in the barcelona team, labelled a dynamic duo by not only your coaches and teammates, but the spectators also.

—

wordless communication and care were the foundations of your friendship. the needs and requirements for the other person just feeling like common sense.

“you didn’t rub it in properly” ona laughs, pointing at the streaks on sunscreen left on the skin of your face.

“in case you didn’t notice, onita, i don’t exactly have a mirror” you grumble, attempting to rub the rest of the sunscreen but missing completely, making the brunette laugh even more.

“oh, preciosa (precious)” she teases, roughly rubbing the remnants into your skin causing you to groan and attempt to push her away.

“done” she cheeses out, giving your cheek a light pat before you shove her away jokingly. “you suck,” you stick your tongue out at her and she immediately returns the gesture, making you both give each other challenging glares before giggling with each other.

—

“my house or yours?” ona grins, passing you your water after training. “mhm, let’s go to yours” you smile back at her, she nods and you both chat as normal.

as soon as you got to ona’s, she gave you some of her clothes to change into and you immediately called your family to let them know you’re here and they already knew you’d ask to stay over so they agreed instantly.

you throw ona a thumbs up as she watches you converse on the phone and she pumps her fist in celebration, making you giggle before ending the call.

—

[ 17 years old ]

this was a difficult time for the both of you, it was when you both started exploring the dating world with other people.

ona got into a relationship first with this random girl, she was super nice at first, but when ona would spend time with you, she would get into insane arguments with her, her girlfriend claiming ona cared more about you than her.

and because it was her first girlfriend, she pulled back from you and you only really saw each other at training, and even then, the communication was limited.

you were heartbroken to say the least, losing your best friend over a girl, you decided to give ona a taste of her own medicine and began dating this girl you thought was really nice.

she treated you well, like a princess honestly, you were giddy and all round happier and ona, from a distance was happy for you.

she’d broken up with her girlfriend and she didn’t, well..couldn’t tell you since she rarely saw you. she regretted the whole relationship, it was toxic and manipulative and she wished she never ditched you for her.

but you were happy again and she would never jeopardise that for you. the only thing ona wanted for you was an endless amount of happiness, getting all the love that you deserved.

it was until you found out your girlfriend had cheated on you, coincidentally with ona’s ex that everything fell back into place.

with tears pooling in your eyes, you knocked on the door of the batlle residence with anxiety overtaking your entire body.

ona opened the door with a worried and confused expression, looking down at your kicked puppy expression that was ready to break down at any moment.

“nena? (babe)” she breathes out, a sob escapes from the back of your throat and you rush to wrap your arms around her neck, pressing your face into her collarbone as your body wracked with a heart wrenching sob.

she immediately holds you around your waist, rubbing comforting circles over the shirt you were wearing, saying nothing but just holding you close.

she tries to pull away to look at you but you shake your head and hold her tighter, she frowns at the sounds of your crying, lifting you up by your thighs and hoisting you up on her waist.

she hurriedly closes the door and rushes to her room, sitting on the edge of the bed as you cried into her arms. she whispers sweet words in your ear as you pressed into her.

you hug for a couple of minutes until you pull away, wiping your tears away with the back of your hands as you looked down at her,

“i didn’t know where else to go” you sniff, your nose red and your voice slightly congested. she frowns at you, using the pad of her finger to wipe away the tear rolling down your cheek.

“you came to the right place, this is your home too, i’ve missed you so much” she says softly, making a few more tears leave your eyes while she chokes back on her own. it felt like so much time but no time had passed as you explained the situation.

ona was pissed, making an effort the next day to give both of your now ex girlfriends a piece of her mind.

that’s when you both decided to take a break with dating, focusing on yourselves, football and each other. everything was back to normal and you were both incredibly relieved.

—

[ 18 - 21 years old ]

as the years went by, you and ona only grew closer, you noticed the shift in your dynamic. the lingering stares and touching blurring the line between platonic and romantic.

you tried to think nothing of it, ona was always incredibly affectionate and if anything she was just being friendly.

if only you knew how this girl really felt about you. in love was an understatement but she didn’t and couldn’t say anything, respecting you more than anyone in the world.

she wouldn’t want to risk losing you, her best friend, her soulmate.

it didn’t really help that you both followed each other to every club, barcelona, madrid, levante and even making the big jump to manchester united.

the best friend duo left an imprint on every club you both went to, proving to be unstoppable in every league.

you were both so in tune and synchronised, ona even managed to assist you in a hat trick at manchester united, claiming it to be one of her proudest moments.

she’d hoist you up on her waist in celebration as she kisses your cheek repeatedly as the girls surrounded you in celebration. “mi niña (my girl)” she grins up at you.

you kiss her forehead in appreciation and couldn’t help but grow a little warm at the pet name, as well as the way she was looking at you as if you were the reason the run had risen in the morning. (she truly believed this)

sure you both got asked over the years if the two of you were dating and it slightly hurt to shut it down.

you received numerous questioning expressions when you’d say, “no, we’re best friends” but the two of you chose to ignore. you both didn’t like each other like that. (silly)

—

[ 24 years old ]

it was until you both decided to return home that everything took a turn. your comeback to barcelona as the dynamic duo had been highly anticipated ever since the transfer rumours came out. and when the contracts were finalised and you and ona were promoted together, it went viral.

falling back into the team with new and old teammates was fluid, and exciting. you both felt good about the whole situation, excited for the new chapter ahead.

ona had partnered up with aitana for training because alexia had dragged you away as soon as she could.

“you like her” she teased, your eyes widen and you give her a little slap on the shoulder, “no, i don’t” you grit out, making your captain laugh brightly.

“please don’t tell me you’re this stupid, have you seen how that girl looks at you?” she scoffs, “heart eyes, makes me feel sick” she mocks, you can’t help the little smile hinting at your lips and alexia smiles satisfied.

she prys the details from you and you surprisingly complied. alexia helped you realised that you’ve liked ona for a while, just never coming to terms with it.

you felt lighter after all of it was off your shoulders, thanking alexia for slapping some sense into you.

she humbly accepted as long as she was the maid of honour at your wedding, making you swear on your life that it would happen.

—

ona had also been in her own conversation with aitana. being one of your teammates for years as well as a close friend, she knew ona liked you, she always has.

she would beg ona to confess, knowing that you liked her back because it was just obvious to anyone with a pulse. she’d always shut down the thoughts quickly. but this time, she actually listened to aitana.

“ona, that girl is in love with you and if she isn’t, you can slap me in the face” aitana speaks with her hands, making ona follow the movements as she spoke.

“you’d actually let me slap you in the face?” ona laughs, aitana gives her a stern expression and ona stops, glancing your way to see you laughing with alexia. she smiles at your bright smile, making aitana shake her head and whisking she had her phone to capture the moment.

—

it was a team bonding session at alexia’s house, a dinner, movie, drinks type of situation. ona and you lived together, like always, so ona drove you both over. alexia opened the door with a hopeful smile but faltered slightly at the two of you just being friends when you gave her that little look of disappointment.

she gives you a longer hug than ona and it makes her slightly suspicious, she knew you and alexia were like sisters but she couldn’t help the funny feeling bubbling in her stomach.

she’d glare slightly whenever you and alexia would interact and it made alexia laugh, knowing that tomorrow you’d come to training with a girlfriend.

when you got in the car and saw ona gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles turned pale, you glance at her in worry.

“are you okay?” you ask nervously, she looks over at you for a split second before looking back in front. “i’m fine” she says flatly, oh you were in for it.

the rest of the drive was intense and quiet. the tension was unbearable. when you both made it home, ona bolted to her room and slammed the door shut, making you wince. you gave her about an hour to cool off before you cautiously knocked on her door.

“ona?” you say softly, you open the door to see her on her bed just scrolling on her phone, she instinctively moves over so you lie down next to her, staring up at the ceiling as she refuses to look at you.

“have i done something wrong?” you break the silence, ona sighs heavily, “no” she breathes out, turning in her side to face you and prompting you to do the same.

“do you like alexia?” she asks softly, you gawk at her in shock, “what? no!” you exclaim, ona’s cheeks burn a little, looking down to see your hand resting on the bed close to hers.

“why? are you worried?” you tease, ona bores her eyes into yours, “and if i was?” she says full of confidence, your mouth falls open slightly, just blinking as you looked at her in surprise.

both of you are pink cheeked with wide pupils, resembling a full moon. “what do you mean?” you utter, “nenita (babe) you know what i mean” ona says hopefully, you pause for a moment before nodding, your bodies subconsciously moving closer to one another like a magnetic field.

“te amo (i love you)” you say confidently, making the girl in front of you break out into a bright smile, “te amo (i love you)” she parrots, you break out into your own wide smile.

you look at each other lovingly for a moment before ona brings a hand up to cup your face, she glances down at your lips and you inhale eagerly, making her chuckle before she pulled you into a searing kiss.

time seemed to pause at this moment, just the warmth of your breaths and lips mingling unfolding like a gentle melody.

your lips moved tenderly with each other, unlocking the years of whispered promises of love you both never knew you were hoping for. your tongues explored each others mouths and it all felt two familiar, you were soulmates after all.

in that shared moment, the line between friendship and romance faded completely, leaving behind the gentle lull of your now joined heartbeats, the start of forever for the both of you.

—

when you both walked into training the next day with ona’s hand in the small of your back and a gentle kiss to your temple, the room erupted into cheers.

alexia and aitana exchange a high five, a couple of the girls exchanging money making you both laugh brightly at some of the disappointed but happy expressions in the room.

—

when you both went to the world cup and managed to win through a goal from you, ona proclaimed your love then and there, unable to hold it in anymore.

when she pulled you into a loving kiss after that final whistle blew, it was a special moment for tje both of you. especially since you were both fulfilling that promise of bringing home that gold medal.

you and ona’s friendship stood as a witness to the growth and transformation for the both of you. standing as a testament of love that began with the simplicity of a girl kicking a football to you because she thought you looked lonely, forming into a profound and everlasting connection.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill, just pretend it’s you!!

liked by alexiaputellas and 44,232 others

ona.batlle: mi media naranja (my better half)

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yourname: mi onita xx

yourname: mi media naranja (my better half)

↳ ona.batlle: pretty baby

alexiaputellas: you two would be NOTHING without me

↳ aitanabonmati: and me!!

↳ ona.batlle: all you two did was make fun of us

↳ alexiaputellas: worked though, didn’t it?

↳ ona.batlle: …….

↳ yourname: she said thank you!

context!! - mi media naranja: the literal translation is 'to find your half orange. ' when an orange is cut in half, the two halves match each other perfectly, but no other orange half is likely to fit so closely’ essentially meaning - your better half, your soulmate

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso one shot #woso imagine #ona batlle #ona batlle x reader

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hyypnotix-writes · 8 months

Text

Part 2

~ hiya! I'm really nervous about posting this, but I couldn't not at least try to give you a second part after the response the last one got! ~

~ I really appreciate everyone reading it and enjoying it as much as you did ..I hope this one doesn't ruin it for you! ~

~ I think this one's around 13k words. so again ..it's a long one, if you have nothing else to do! ~

~ there’s quite a lot of story before Alexia makes an appearance, sorry ..but she does eventually show up! ~

~ I promise to put more of her in the next part if any of you end up wanting one ~

~ I’m really worried this will disappoint a lot of you, but at least you still have the first part to go back to, if nothing else! ~

~ I really hope you're able to enjoy it even just a little bit, and thanks again for loving the first part so much! the response was very overwhelming and I've loved you all reaching out to tell me that you liked it ~

~ good luck! good bye xx ~

~ Part 1 ~

________________

One night.

One perfect night.

That’s all it took.

One perfect night to throw your whole damn life into disarray.

One perfect night, that’s lead to endless subsequent nights, spent tossing and turning on your own, replaying the memory over on a loop in your mind. It’s only been about a month, but it feels like an eternity.

A never-ending, exhausting cycle of yearning and confusion.

It was the most welcome distraction from your ex-boyfriend’s evil escapades, you’ve not really thought about him at all since.

It should have set you free, broken you out of the chains of mundanity. It showed you a whole new world, a world of women. It gave you a new perspective on life. Unlocked a realm of brand-new possibilities all ready and waiting for you to venture, and yet, you don’t want to explore any of them.

It's not that you haven’t tried.

You’d have been an idiot to assume that it’s only her that can make you feel like this. That would be giving her an awful lot of credit. Yes, she was your first woman, but that didn’t mean that she needed to be your last. The way your mind and body reacted to her, maybe you could have been slightly gayer than you thought, but it doesn’t really look to be the case.

A pair of lesbian sisters always seemed incredibly unlikely to you, and your sister’s already called dibs on the label. Maybe it’s the mere existence of your younger sister that eradicates the possibility of any real queerness in yourself. That’s probably how the handing out of sexualities works, right?

It’s a working theory, and one that you seem to be proving the accuracy of.

You’ve been to a few more clubs since your entanglement with the Spanish mystery. Only returning back to that specific one, once. It gave you a headache just stepping through the door. She was still everywhere in the room, her spirit living in the walls. You barely managed to stay inside for even a second before it became too much for you, sending your heart and mind racing.

You took yourself back home, reminiscing every single kiss you’d shared with her on that fanciful journey back to her hotel together. Looking up at the floor she had been staying on, as you hastily walked past it on your own.

Even the nightclubs that aren’t haunted by her ghost, haven’t yielded much greater success with you.

You paid a visit to a smaller bar, a fair few nights after your perfect one, and had found a woman interested in you. More than interested. She was pretty, and friendly enough. She was flirty and bought you a few drinks. She didn’t try to play it weird by aiding you in your consumption of alcohol. There was no intriguing salt and lime foreplay. She was far more straightforward, far less irritating.

Maybe that’s why it didn’t work. Maybe she was too plain. Maybe she was too simple and easy for you to understand. Or maybe it’s the fact that when she pressed herself against you in search of a kiss, an alarm bell rang out inside of your head. You suddenly found yourself all too aware that she was a woman, and you simply no longer wanted to follow through with your curiosities.

It doesn’t help in your confusion, why the femininity of one woman can leave you feeling more certain of your straightness, while another’s femininity has you still helplessly pining after her.

It’s not like you were under any illusion with the Spanish woman. You were entirely aware that she was also a woman, and it wasn’t off putting to you at all. You enjoyed her being a woman. She smelt nice, she tasted nice. Her body was beautiful, and her lips were soft, and it doesn’t make any sense that she’s allowed to put a yearning in you that no other woman is able to satisfy.

That does seem very typical of her, though. She really was very cocky and frustrating.ﾠﾠ

Until she wasn’t, of course.

Then, she was just sweet and considerate. Cautious and careful. Flirty and undemanding. She took you back to hers and she still had no expectations from you. She was still willing to let you walk away. Maybe you should have.ﾠﾠ

You knew even then that you should have.

It was daft of you to follow after her. Foolish to lose yourself with her, spending the night together, giggling under the sheets. Sharing kisses as you drowned yourselves in each other. Learning her body, every mark, scar and freckle, and committing them all to your memory. Tracing her curves and her tattoos and discovering what it is that makes her tick.ﾠ

She was patient, and understanding, she wasn’t in a rush with you. She spent the whole night exploring with you. Studying your body, wanting to learn all the things you liked her doing, and the things you really liked her doing. She turned what could have been a terrifying, embarrassing, disaster of an experience, into the most incredible encounter of your life.

She brought you more pleasure than your pathetic ex-boyfriend had ever managed to give you in your whole 5-year relationship, in less than 5 minutes of her having your clothes off. She had the most unholy of noises spilling from your lips with her fingers and tongue inside of you, and she wasn’t exactly quiet herself, in letting you know when you were doing the right thing with her.

She was intoxicating, exhilarating. She was life-affirming.

She’s a far more dangerous addiction to you than alcohol could ever manage to be. You’ve never been tempted by drugs before, but you can’t even imagine the high from them being able to compete against what she’s done to you.

It was just one night.

It was one perfect night.

________________

Living back with your younger sister isn’t exactly where you saw yourself being at 26. Your London flat had started feeling a little too big for you, without a traitorous arsehole of a man invading your space. So, you invited her to move in with you, not wanting to have to give up your dream property just because he had decided to try ruining your life. You needed help with the rent, and she had gratefully accepted.

You didn’t necessarily expect her to also invite her idiot new girlfriend into your home with her. That wasn’t really part of the deal, though you didn’t explicitly tell her that she couldn’t. You can’t really blame her. If you were able to spend every waking moment of your life with ‘A’ right beside you, you’d jump at the opportunity headfirst.

It still doesn’t aid in the dispelling of your confusion. There’s no jealousy when you see them together. Her girlfriend does nothing for you, none of her girlfriends ever have. You both have decidedly different tastes in women. Your sister’s taste is entirely questionable, yours is perfection.

You haven’t mentioned your Spanish predicament to your sister. She’d probably laugh at you for it, call you tragic, and embarrassing. Tell you everything you’ve already been telling yourself on repeat in your head. She wouldn’t be very helpful; she very rarely is. She’s your very annoying, smart-arse of a little sister, who couldn’t possibly give you any decent advice. She’s 2 years younger than you and she's an idiot.

She’s not the one who’s still hung up on a stranger after over a month, though. It’s rarely taken her longer than 24 hours to get over someone she’s been with. She’s not the one who’s been questioning herself every night. She’s never questioned herself at all. You’re fairly certain her very first thought, straight out of the womb was about another woman.

She didn’t really have to come out to the family at any point, she kissed her first girl when she was 8. Always been a bit of a Casanova, your sister. A walking stereotype of a lesbian. Short, brightly coloured, undercut hair, quite a few piercings, heavily tattooed. She’s obsessed with women’s football, always watching re-runs of ‘The L Word,’ and overwhelmingly insistent in trying to prove to you that Taylor Swift is also secretly gay.

Your sister’s certainty in her own sexual identity isn’t something that’s ever irritated you before. Not when you were always so sure of yourself, too. You appreciated her confidence. It was admirable, given the way people can be with her. She’s your self-assured little sister, who isn’t great at confrontation. So, you support her whenever anyone tries to tear her down.

Now, however, this too-late-in-life existential crisis you’re struggling with, has you wishing she’d try to be a little bit more questioning herself. Her surety and cockiness about her sexuality is suddenly the most prominent attribute of her personality, and it’s really starting to drive you up the wall.

It’s a rare evening where it’s only the two of you at home together. You don’t really know where her girlfriend is, and you don’t much care. You only feel responsible for one annoying lesbian, the one who shares your surname.

She’s being rather antisocial with you, playing video games alone in her bedroom, and you’ve just finished tidying up the dining table after sharing the dinner you cooked for you both. You’re not exactly sure how you’ve found yourself solo parenting your stroppy little sibling when you’re really not much older than her yourself, but there you go.

Maybe you should try speaking to her. See what she can possibly offer you by way of sapphic guidance. If she’s going to continue having her nuisance girlfriend living here rent-free, she should at least try giving you something to make it worth your while.

You walk straight through to her bedroom and collapse your head onto her stomach on the bed. Making sure to do so with just enough force behind it to ensure you manage to leave her winded and interrupt her gaming. She grunts under you, and you earn an overly aggressive smack to your shoulder for achieving your goal. As, whatever other little child she’s playing her game against, has just managed to score past her.

“You’re a twat!” She scolds, and you backhand her face to shut her up. She raises her fist above your stomach, and you flinch, bracing for impact.

“I have a question!” You shout, before she has chance to attack.

She pauses her lifted fist above you, and reluctantly agrees to a truce, providing your question is of interest to her. “What?” She groans, and you fiddle with your fingers, trying to find the right wording.

“Why do you like women?” You ask, your face grimacing as you await her response.

It isn’t your smoothest ever phrasing, not your wittiest form of delivery. It’s honestly, rather annoyingly, not the most subtle line of questioning. Despite it not being entirely to the point, your sister isn’t stupid.

“What?”

Oh ..maybe she is!

That’s not going to be super helpful with your impending interrogation.

“Why not men?” You suggest, still trying not to be too blatant. “How did you know you liked women?”

“I looked at one.” She tells you, like it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “Why?”

“Do you find every woman attractive?”

“No, but I find enough of them attractive to sense a pattern.” She explains. “Why?”

“And you’ve never been attracted to a man? Not even tempted?”

“No. Not once. Why?”

“Never ever?”

“Y/N!”

“I was just wondering.” You tell her quickly, drumming your fingers on top of your stomach.

“About women?” She queries.

“About ..why women. What it is about them.”

“Aside from the obvious?” She snickers, nudging your arm.

You quickly bounce your head back against her stomach winding her again.

“Stop doing that!”

“Stop being annoying!” You warn her. Your frustration at yourself getting the better of you.

She tries to push you off of her, but you mess with the analogue sticks on her controller, and she turns her focus back to salvaging her match. “You really are a twat! Get out!”

“I need your help.”

“I don’t care!”

“..I’m sorry.” You mumble, and she scoffs at you, pushing you off of her bed unceremoniously.

You can’t say you blame her, you’re a constant threat to her in that position, it’s too big of a risk. You enjoy bouncing your head and ruining her childish little game far too much.

“Why do you like men?” She counters, and you find yourself stuck for words as you sit on her floor.

It’s the question that’s been floating around your own head for a little while now. You’d never thought about it before. You just were. You had crushes on them all throughout your childhood, you’d had meaningless boyfriends in your teens, you met your bastard ex at university and figured that was it.

You didn’t need to question why you were attracted to them, it just always made sense.

“I don’t know.” You answer honestly, letting out a groan as you grab one of her pillows and bury your head into it.

“What’s going on?” She asks, as she prods at your shoulder with her foot.

“Nothing. I was just—”

“Thinking about women?”

“No!”

It isn’t really a lie, you’re not thinking about women, just the one. The one woman who’s been invading all of your thoughts for the past 30 something days. The one who won’t let you sleep properly at night, who won’t let you focus completely at work.

The one woman who refuses to leave your head for even a second just to let you rest, to let you breathe, to let you remember what life was like, prior to her entering it and recklessly setting fire to everything, before she ran away from you and disappeared into thin air.ﾠﾠ

“I kissed one.” You confess, trying to suffocate yourself with her pillow.

This really does take her by surprise. You can hear her movements on top of the mattress as she turns her game off and pulls her pillow from you with a rather startling urgency. There’s great confusion on her face as she looks at you. She really must think you’re very boring if that’s enough to render her speechless. Imagine her reaction if you admitted to all the other things you did to the Spanish enigma.

“You kissed a woman?” She asks, frowning at you.

You’re not entirely sure why she looks quite so cross about it. You’re not trying to steal her thunder here. You’re not about to start trying to catch up with her numerous exploits of female companions.

“Mhmm.” You mumble in reply, smoothing your hair back from over your face.

“Why? For a man?”

“No! I just wanted to ..I thought it’d be fun.”

“..and ..was it?”

“Mhmm.”

She looks at you with a very distinct air of incredulity. It’s a rather annoying look, weirdly condescending. She doesn’t believe you. Why she thinks you’d bother lying about it, you really do not know. You’re not that desperate for a story to tell her.

It’s almost offensive that she thinks you’re so incapable. You didn’t just kiss a woman. You went down on one, you had your fingers inside of her. You evoked moans from her, she scratched her nails down your back. You’re not some virginal prude. You’re not inept. It can’t be that shocking and inconceivable that you could share a single kiss with someone of the same sex.

You were right, telling your sister was pointless. She’s offered you no assistance and no support. She’s a useless little waste of space and her horrible girlfriend is an advantage-taking little freeloader.

“Thanks, very much! This was really helpful!”

Your words are laced in sarcasm as you slide yourself up away from her bed with a sigh, throwing your middle finger up back in her direction as you exit the room, and slam her bedroom door shut behind you.

You slam your own bedroom door shut behind you too, just in case she hadn’t picked up on how pissed off you are.

You’re not really pissed off with her. She doesn’t know what’s going on inside of your head. You’re pissed off with yourself, for still being all entirely far too consumed with a woman whose name you do not know. Who wouldn’t even bother sharing her profession with you. It isn’t fair.

You collapse headfirst onto your bed and let out a rather guttural groan into your duvet. You’re very frustrated. Your brain’s a mess, your sexuality’s up in the air, and you allowed yourself to picture, far too clearly, your memories of having sex with the gorgeous Spanish woman and now that ache that she’d put inside of you is back.

There’s a knock at your door, and you’re not in the mood. You grab your duvet and burrito yourself in it down to the foot of your bed.

“Y/N?”

You don’t even grace your sister with a response. She doesn’t deserve it. She’s a swine.

No, but she really is a swine, as you can hear her turning the doorknob and just walking right into your bedroom anyway. She’s really, unbelievably terrible at reading social cues.

“Do you want to come to Spain with me next week?”

See what I mean? What the hell?

That’s a very serendipitous little offer, though. You didn’t even mention to her that the woman that you kissed was Spanish.

Did you?

She can’t have worked that out by herself. That would be insane. She’s already proved herself to not be the sharpest tool in the shed. That wouldn’t make any sense. What an intriguing little invitation.

It’s very embarrassing that just the mention of the country sends a shiver down the back of your neck. All this instant adrenaline running through you, as if she’ll just be waiting for you there as soon as you land down in a random Spanish airport. Yeah, that seems likely!

Spain’s not the biggest country in the world, but it certainly isn’t small. You’re not going to accidentally stumble into her again on the beach, or in a marketplace. She’s definitely not going to be staying in the same hotel that you’d be in.

It shouldn’t have your heart racing like this. The chances of finding her again are so infinitesimally small, so extremely impossible, so overwhelmingly unlikely ..but you do stand a better chance, if you’re in the right country.

“Next week?” You mumble under the sheets, playing it incredibly cool, as you try to ignore the way your heart’s started thumping at a thousand beats per minute.

“Yeah.”

“I thought you were going away with your girlfriend?”

“..we broke up.”

Shit. She would make this all about herself.

You wiggle yourself free of your duvet cocoon and open up your arms for her to crash into you. She might be a useless little swine, but she’s your useless little swine. “Are you okay?”

“Mhmm.” She grumbles, as she starfishes herself on top of you.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not. You never liked her.”

“That’s not true.” You protest half-heartedly, kissing the side of her head.

“I am fine ..I broke up with her.”

“Well, thank fuck for that!”

“See!” She laughs, rolling off the side of you. “You hated her!”

“She was horrible!”

“You could’ve said.”

“You wouldn’t have left her if I told you to. You’d be getting bloody married to the girl. Twat.” She giggles defencelessly next to you on the bed, because you’re absolutely right. She has always been a contrarian little thing. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll find someone else tomorrow.”

“Unbelievable.” You chuckle, shaking your head as you push her away. “You can’t just give me her ticket. Did she not pay for it?”

The embarrassed little look on your sister’s face is all the wordless response you need. Her girlfriend never paid for anything. She really was an advantage-taking little freeloader.

“Where are you going in Spain?”

“Barcelona.”

“Why?”

“Football.”

“Oh! Give me a break!” You exclaim and roll down away from her back to the foot of the bed. “Why are you going all the way to Spain just to watch some football? You can bloody watch it here.”

“It’s the Champions League!” She informs you excitedly, and you can’t even pretend to match her enthusiasm. “Chelsea’s playing Barcelona.”

“Woo.” You respond flatly, rolling your eyes with a shake of your head. “You watched them play together today, didn’t you? Why are they so bloody obsessed with each other? Even I know there’s more teams than that.”

“It’s the second leg..” She starts explaining, but none of it means anything to you, and you really just can’t bring yourself to care.

Going all the way out to Spain to be stuck inside a stadium with thousands of screaming fans? What sort of holiday is that? You don’t care about Chelsea’s success or failure. Your sister’s dirty crush on their star-striker is just another one of her many celebrity infatuations that you can’t make any sense of.

You don’t want to sit next to her as she gets herself all hot and bothered watching women run around a football pitch. You don’t even enjoy watching men do it, you have no interest in watching women.

“No. I’m good, thanks.” You tell her, dismissively.

“Please? We can do more than just watch the football.” She offers, pouting pathetically. “You have to come with me! I’ve just been dumped!”

“No, you haven’t!” You remind her, laughing at her useless attempt at guilt tripping. “And you haven’t really left me much time to negotiate with work.”

“You work too hard and you’re due some time off! Your boss isn’t going to refuse you, just bat your eyelashes at him. The filthy pervert.”

“Hm.” You mumble, drumming your fingers over your stomach as you think.

She isn’t wrong, about you working hard, at least. You do like to bury yourself in your work. You enjoy your job, and the harder you work, the more you earn. You haven’t had time off in a while, and your boss is unlikely to say no to you, you are his favourite employee. You don’t agree that it’s because he has a crush on you, you get good results for the company, and attract lucrative clientele.

If batting your eyelashes could get you back in the arms of your Spanish one-night stand more easily, though, you’re not above flirting with him to get you there. You could take a few days of leave, go off to Spain, and possibly run into the woman who’s been living inside of your head.

It’s such an incredibly remote possibility. An absolute stab in the dark chance of finding her. She probably isn’t even in Barcelona. You’re not cultured enough to be able to pin her accent to a specific city. She’s just Spanish. There’s much more places in Spain than just Barcelona. Barcelona isn’t even the capital. Maybe she’s in Madrid, Valencia, Marbella. She could be a party girl living on the island of Ibiza, you had originally found her in a bar. You don’t get a body like hers drinking yourself senseless every night, though.

What if you do find her, and she wants nothing to do with you? There was only ever the promise of one night together. You already pushed your luck by spending the rest of the morning with each other, she doesn’t owe you anything more. It’s unlikely that she’s been spiralling quite as pathetically as you have. She’s not going to be fending off a sexuality migraine.

You undoubtedly won’t have been the absolutely mind-blowing experience to her, that she was to you. She’ll have had sex with countless women. She definitely enjoyed herself with you, that much you’re certainly sure of. You can’t fake every bodily reaction to someone, but the rest of it could have been for show. The display of heartbreak afterwards.

So, maybe she’s an actress, that would certainly make sense. It would explain why she had money, and why she had a company paying for her hotel. Maybe that was her little ‘business trip’. Perhaps she was in London promoting a Spanish movie. Maybe the entire thing was all a performance, and you fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker.

Either way, stalking her in Spain would be far too pathetic. Even if she does want you to find her, it’s so desperate and needy of you to go all that way, and if she doesn’t want you to find her, you end up looking insane. Travelling to Spain, to possibly just show up right there on her doorstep? What a terrifying thing for you to do to the woman.

But what if it’s a sign?

Your clueless little sister, inviting you all the way to Spain, with absolutely no idea that the woman you’re harbouring all of these confusing emotions for, lives there? Maybe it’s fate. Maybe it’s the universe trying to get you back together. Maybe she didn’t fake it, she does feel the same, you’ll find her in Spain and spend the rest of your lives together.

Please. Behave and be so goddamn serious with yourself. You sweet and simple, delusional little fool.

“The woman I kissed was from Spain.” You inform your sister thoughtfully, and she sits herself up on your bed to frown at you.

“You’re still going with that?”

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“You’re straight. Straight straight straight.” She points out, with such an incredibly annoying inflection to her voice, it makes you want to bang your head against the wall. “You’re also 26. You were in love with an ugly bastard for 5 years and you’ve never shown an interest in a woman before.”

“I hadn’t met her before.”

“Gayyy!” She giggles, and you give her an almighty clack on her arm with the back of your hand, to wipe the smug little smile from off her face.

“Go with the woman you’re hooking up with tomorrow.” You instruct her. “I’d be a nightmare to watch football with, you’d have to keep explaining things to me.”

“I don’t mind doing that.”

“Do you have no other friends to go with you?” You laugh and she pouts dramatically again, shaking her head. “You’re a lonely little loser!” You tell her with a smile.

“Is that a ‘yes’?” She asks, rolling her eyes at you.

You take in a deep breath and let out a very heavy sigh.

What’s the worst that can happen?

She’s already completely upturned your life. It couldn’t make things any worse for you. Whether you’re able to bump into her or not. You’ll either find yourself some peace, lounging in the Spanish sun, or you’ll be left in exactly the same position you’re in now, but with a much healthier glow to your skin.

You could even find yourself a Spanish man while you’re out there.

Mm.

It’s really not a good sign for your heterosexuality, that that’s no longer an appealing option to you.

“If I can sort it with work,” you reason, “yes. I’ll come to Barcelona with you.”

She lets out an embarrassingly girly squeal and crashes her head against your stomach, with just enough force behind it to manage to leave you winded.

“Twat! I’m making no promises about going to the game, mind. I’m just coming for the tan.”

“Maybe your ‘Spanish lesbian’ is also a fan of football.” She encourages

“Mhmm. I’m pretty sure she is.” You admit contemplatively. “Is that an entry-level of requirement for lesbianism, then?” You ask, rolling your eyes. “Because if that’s the case, I really can stop questioning myself.”

________________

Booking time off work really is as easy as your sister thought it would be. Maybe your boss does have an inappropriate crush on you like she suspects.

She’s very excited about having you for company, and she tries to educate you on all of Chelsea’s history, the players’ statistics, and their personal lives, all before you go on your little trip together. It really does just go right in one ear, and straight back out of the other. You’re not fussed on the facts and figures; it’s not why you’re going.

There’s not enough room in your brain to care about the ins and outs of Sam Kerr and Kristie Mewis’ relationship. You’re not interested in the fact that Chelsea currently have 6 WSL titles, and are going for their fifth-straight one, and you really aren’t bothered that the semifinal’s first leg match against Barcelona ended in a draw.

That is a fair amount of information for you to have retained already despite not being interested. Your sister really has been going on at you, you’re almost a footballing expert.

Touching down late in the morning in Barcelona, you can’t pretend there isn’t a tiny part of you that’s letting yourself get a little carried away with dreaming. You’ve played through enough countless scenarios in your head of running into the Spanish wonder again back in London, of course your mind’s racing with the possibilities in Spain.

You drop your bags off at the hotel your sister’s booked for you both, with the intention of heading back out to explore the city together. It’s a peculiar looking building, bright red, oddly shaped. She really never has been one for subtlety, it’s the perfect sort of accommodation for her.

She insists on wanting to have a look at the Olympic Stadium before the big match, as well as seeing the state of Camp Nou’s renovations, and you really can’t indulge her any more than you already have. You probably will end up joining her for the game tomorrow, but you’re absolutely not walking around the outside of football grounds for fun.

You’ve seen the exterior of Stamford Bridge more than your fair share of times, Wembley, the Emirates. There’s not that much difference between the lot of them, and they’ve never really been your favourite form of modern architecture.

So, you agree to go your separate ways for your first afternoon in the city, you’ll meet back up with each other tonight.

Playing tourist around the streets of Barcelona on your own, is quite an exciting little experience for you. You’re not very worried about getting lost, despite not speaking too much Spanish beyond the basics. Your hotel’s a distinctive looking building, it’s not going to be super difficult to find your own way back to it.

You get a taxi further into the main hub of town and you’re able to mosey about with a rather unrestrained confidence, turning down tight alleyways and strolling aimlessly along multiple cobbled streets. You manage to find yourself being comfortably led astray, by allowing nothing more than just the warm gentle breeze to guide you as it blows against your body.

It turns into a more casual exploration of the more authentic side of Barcelona away from most of the tourist hotspots. You have no real idea where you are, and you’re quite enjoying the small rush of adventure.

A coffee is what you start craving, and you’re not exactly limited by options. Every other building on the peacefully quiet backstreet you’ve found yourself on, seems to be a tiny café. You could start ip dip doo-ing all the individual offerings, but that’s putting far too much consideration into it. You decide to go for the smallest one, the most unassuming. The best coffees always come from the places that aren’t trying to market themselves to any foreign tourists.

A little bell rings out as you step through the door and the barista almost jumps out of his skin at the sight of you, he clearly isn’t used to getting anyone other than his regular patrons. You offer up your friendliest of smiles and a quick ‘hola’ to show him that you mean no harm, and you tap your finger gently on the countertop as you inspect the board behind his head.

Choosing the littlest coffee shop might have been a tiny mistake because absolutely everything on the menu is written in what you can only assume, is a rather confusing variation of Spanish. You can’t back out now, the barista already has an adorably excited look on his face at having someone new in his little shop, you can’t break his heart like that.

You study the chalk written on the board for entirely far too long, in the hope that the words will slowly start translating themselves for you. It doesn’t work, obviously. So, you take a punt at a random one of them, with the rather daring assumption that you haven’t just ordered yourself a troubling batch of Spanish poison.

“¡Dos, por favor!” Comes a call from behind you, from a woman you surely do not know. It’s recognisably ballsy of her, almost rude.

Her words echo in your ears, as time stands still around you. You’d recognise that voice anywhere, with that unmistakable, and entirely enchanting, cocky little tone to it.

You can’t really have found her so easily. Life’s never been that kind.

You can feel your heart clattering around in your chest instantly. Like it’s trying to escape from your ribs, to go off and say hello to hers, all by itself. Your chest’s rising and falling intensely as your breathing shallows and picks up pace.

It can’t be her; it can’t be. This city’s just absolutely full of Spanish women.

She holds out her card right over you to pay, gently resting her arm down onto your shoulder, and you’ve definitely seen that tattoo before. The ‘11’ printed on her wrist.

She’d refused to explain the meaning when you’d asked her about it. She wouldn’t give you the backstory behind any of her tattoos. It was too personal; you weren’t allowed to know.

She thought you might have really fallen for each other if you both started sharing too much information about yourselves, and you only had the single night to spend together.

“It would be too painful.” She had reasoned with you.

That was very clever thinking on her part. She absolutely managed to prevent you from having an awful lot of heartache and suffering about the whole thing, by letting you know absolutely nothing about her..ﾠ

You still can’t bring yourself to turn around and look. Even though you know it must be her. It can’t be likely that there’s multiple Spanish women that have branded themselves with that specific number on that specific part of their body. Surely to god.

“..gracias.” You manage to choke out very shakily, in little more than a whisper, still facing forward.

You have to turn around at some point. You can’t very well drink your coffee on the tiny little counter right in front of the barista when you can’t even have a conversation with him. Just staring at him, silently, neither of you able to speak each other’s language? That would freak him out! You’ll find yourself back on a plane headed for England before you know it, with a restraining order hanging over your head.

Grow up and turn around. Just turn around.

It’s her. It has to be her.

The barista accepts the woman’s payment method with a familiar little smile back at her, and she carefully retracts her arm from over your shoulder slowly. You can smell her perfume on her wrist as it wafts back past the side your face. You recognise the scent, and you find yourself following it round you like a lost little puppy, your knees almost giving way beneath you.

You didn’t accidentally stumble upon her at the beach. It’s not a Spanish marketplace. She definitely isn’t staying at the same hotel that you’re in.

You’ve found her, while getting yourself lost. In the tiniest little café, on an unnamed, tumbleweed backstreet, right in the very heart of Barcelona.

There’s a wide smile of disbelief on her face. Which is hopefully an indication, that she isn’t terrified of you being here, she hadn’t faked her feelings, and she, much like you are with her, is a little overwhelmed to see you.

“Hi.” Is all that drops out of your mouth, as your mind goes blank at the sight of her.

“Hi.” She says back, with the exact same breathlessness as you, her voice cracking ever so slightly.

“….Hi.”

“You’ve already said that.” She reminds you, and she’s clearly able to bring herself back to her senses far more quickly than you are, because there’s that charming little smirk tugging at the corner of her lips again.

You’re not really sure which one of you instigated it, you both just sort of ended up colliding into each other, gripping at the material of each other’s clothes. It’s a very desperate hug. Even more so than the one you shared outside of the hotel elevator. You melt into each other, merging yourselves together like two corresponding puzzle pieces.

It’s an embrace, holding not just the 12 hours of curious devotion between you, but over 30 days' worth of frenzied yearning. It has you both clinging to each other with everything you have, as it defies everything you came to accept as truly achievable, that heartbreaking belief in you, that this reunion would never really happen.

It’s an impossible hug, and it’s one that neither of you want to pull away from.

“What are you doing here?” You mumble against her, clinging to her shirt as she buries her head in the crook of your neck.

“I think it should be me asking that question.” She tells you, chuckling. “I have far more right to be in Barcelona than you do.”

“This is where you live?” You ask. “You’re from Barcelona?”

“Mhmm.” She murmurs. “Mollet del Vallès.”

There’s really no reason for that to be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard. It’s only a place name. It’s a good job she didn’t spend much time speaking Spanish to you back in London, you really would have been like putty in her hands.

“What are you doing here?” She questions.

“I thought you might want your sweatshirt back.” You joke casually, and she loosens her grip on you slightly so she can face you.

“Do you not want it anymore?” She asks, furrowing her brow as she studies your face.

There’s a clear look of uncertainty in her eyes, a small sense of worry, and you do feel mildly guilty for teasing her. “I was hoping ..maybe I could swap it for another.” You smile. “It doesn’t really smell like you anymore.”

She doesn’t allow you to feel guilty for too long. That small air of arrogance that’s always threatening to escape her, does so, in a predictable little smirk at the implication.

“You’ve been wearing it that much?” She asks you proudly, and you push your tongue against the inside of your mouth as you roll your eyes at her typical display of cockiness. She carefully closes the small distance between you both again, gently pressing herself flush against you. “Does it smell of you?” She whispers in your ear, sending a ripple of goosebumps down the side of your neck.

“Mhmm.”

“Mm. Maybe I could be persuaded to make a trade, then.”

She’s impossible for you to resist when she’s like this. It’s still an intriguing talent she has, evoking such a physical reaction from you, by doing hardly anything at all. A quiet little whisper in your ear and your body’s immediately burning up next to her? You’re still so incredibly tragic.

You might no longer be certain of your sexuality, but maybe it really doesn’t matter. Why do you need to understand it? Why does it need an explanation? No one else in the world is important at all when she’s standing here in front of you. No one else would ever really stand a chance. How could you ever be interested in anyone else, when you know that this woman right here exists? How could any other person ever truly compare?

There’s a desire in you that’s clearly also felt in her, when she moves herself to look at you. It’s written all over her face, the twinkle in her beautiful eyes, and the fact that her lips are so incredibly close to yours.

You lean in, and so does she, but it’s like something quickly shoots through her body, as though she’s suddenly being brought back into the room. She does a quick scan of the café, and she collects herself before she lets you both get carried away.

“We can’t kiss in here.” She tells you quietly, and you frown at her as you pull yourself back.

“Why not?” You ask, doing your own quick search to try and find what she saw to put her off.

No one seems too interested in you, though there’s admittedly a couple of people discreetly watching her. She is very beautiful, so it’s not surprising, but you do sort of wish they’d stop their gawking. This gorgeous woman is here with you, and you’re not really in the mood for sharing.

“There’s not another bloody homophobe about, is there?”

“No!” She laughs, shaking her head. “Well, I don’t know, actually. I haven’t asked around, but we just ..can’t kiss in here.”

It’s curious. She didn’t have any issues kissing you in front of people before. Spanish people are very famously more physically affectionate with each other than British people are. So, it seems unlikely that the two of you would turn too many heads just by kissing.

“Okay..” you accept reluctantly, pouting a little at the rejection, “so ..should we just quickly nip outside to do it then, or?” You joke cheekily, pointing to the door with your thumb.

She chuckles with you, resting her forehead to your shoulder. “You’re still as straight as ever!” She grins, as she wraps you back up in her arms.

It’s quite nice just losing yourself in her embrace. Burying your head in her neck and holding her tight against you. Having her arms back around you, her perfume overwhelming your senses. The rest of the coffee shop fades into a blur with her in your arms. She’s comforting, reassuring. She’s real, and she’s here.

“Ale!” Is called out by the barista not a minute later, and you’d have very happily paid it no attention at all. The immediate flinch from the woman that you’re holding, in response to it, however, tells you that you might have just found out a very valuable piece of information indeed.

You repeat it under your breath, as she pulls away from you and goes to collect your coffees from the counter.

She says a quiet ‘moltes gràcies’ to the barista, and she narrows her eyes with a small grimace as she returns to you. There’s still a clear reluctance in her to give too much away, she’s not entirely grateful to her little coffee friend for unknowingly revealing slightly more to you than just her first initial.

Ale. It must still be short for something, you figure. You start reeling off name possibilities at her in quick succession. Alessia, Alex, Alexis, Alexa. You’re like a dog with a bone, because she makes it clear that you’re getting closer, but she still shakes her head at every guess.

It’s very frustrating, as she offers you absolutely no assistance with your guessing, but it can’t be as convoluted a mission as trying to discover Rumpelstiltskin’s ridiculous name. Thankfully, it isn’t. It’s on only your 5th attempt that you cause the same small flinch in her, and she smiles softly at you before looking down very quickly. You’ve struck gold.

Alexia.

It’s a beautiful name. Your favourite name, you’ve decided. It rolls off your tongue with so much ease, you want to repeat it again and again.

“Now you know too much.” She sighs whimsically, handing you your coffee as she walks past you to collect her bag from the table she was previously sitting at.

She gestures for you to follow her and leads you to a quieter area away from the other customers right at the back of the shop. She pulls out your chair for you to sit down, and you can’t not smile at the tiny act of chivalry. She really is very sweet. It’s a shame that she won’t let you kiss her.

You reveal your own name to her, as she joins you on the other side of the table and she repeats it back to you quietly. Whether it’s the sexy Spanish accent, or just the fact that it’s her saying it to you for the first time, you’re not entirely sure, but your heart skips a few beats after hearing it.

“Now we both know too much.” She tells you, and she takes a small sip of her coffee.

There’s the tiniest level of nervousness, that blankets itself over you both as you sit together. It’s a little absurd, you’ve seen this woman naked. She’s seen you naked. It isn’t technically a first date between you, neither of you asked the other to be here, but you both clearly have the little jitters of being on one, coursing through your bodies.

You find yourself just watching her a few times as you talk over your drinks together. You still can’t really believe you found her so quickly. So, you don’t want to risk taking your eyes off of her for too long, in case she just disappears into thin air while you’re not looking.

She’s also the most beautiful sight in the café. So, why would you want to waste your time looking at anything else?

You’re not being very discreet about your staring at all, and neither is she, really. You keep exchanging shy smiles over your cups as you catch each other looking. Both of you blushing and quickly averting your eyes as they meet, and then gradually repeating the whole thing all over again. You’ve definitely caught her gazing a few more times than she’s caught you. So, maybe she’s even more tragic than you are.

The little coffee you ordered by chance, is Alexia’s usual order, so she tells you. It’s not the most life-changing piece of information for her to share with you, but it’s something else for you to know about her, and you’re absolutely sure to make a note of it. It probably keeps you on an even tally too, she already knows that you enjoy drinking a tequila.

You’re still not allowed to kiss each other, for whatever obscure reason, but she has reached for you hand under the table. Interlacing your fingers together isn’t a new thing between you both, and neither are those tingles that immediately shoot up through your arm at even the most innocent of touches from her. She really does have an incredible effect on you, it should probably be more terrifying to you than it is.

“Why are you really here?” She asks after a moment, as she strokes her thumb over your knuckles.

“My sister dragged me here.” You answer. “It’s a very important football match tomorrow, apparently.”

“The one against Chelsea?” She asks, with an unmistakable look of interest in her eyes, that has you rolling your own lightly back at her.

“I think she’d say against Barcelona,” you point out with a sigh, “but yeah, that one.”

You had managed to work out that Alexia was probably a bit of a football fan. She has a little stick figure tattoo of a footballer on her leg, the outline of a baby being given a ball on her back, and you have exceptional detective skills. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.

So, it isn’t a surprise that she’d be excited by your footballing interests, but it is unfortunate that you really don’t share the same passion for it as her.

“Unless you’re a very daring rebel,” you start, “I assume you’ll be supporting Barcelona tomorrow?”

“Mhmm,” she murmurs, with a small twinkle in her eye, “and you’ll be supporting Chelsea?”

“Not emphatically,” you admit with a smile, “but I’ll be in that section of the crowd, yeah.”

“You don’t really care about football at all, do you?” She asks knowingly, with an edge to her smirk that’s intriguing, as you shake your head at her in apology. “Maybe you should introduce me to your sister instead, then!” She winks, and you very quickly remove your hand back out of her hold.

“Don’t.” You tell her. “Please. Don’t even joke about it.”

It’s admittedly a little cute that she finds herself quite so hilarious for her disgusting little joke, but you are very unamused by the idea. If the childish look of mischief on her face wasn’t so entirely endearing to you, you may very well have got up and left her right then and there.

She rests the back of her hand on your thigh with her palm outstretched, and you roll your eyes at her before placing your own hand back into it. She raises it to her lips to place a lingering kiss to your fingers, leaving you with the faintest of blushes across your cheeks. So, maybe you can find it in yourself to forgive her just this once.

“I have a sister.” She reveals. “Her name's Alba. She’s a few years younger than me. I’m the older sibling, like you are.”

“Uh oh!”

“What?”

“Well, now I really do know too much.” You tell her with a wink.

“My sister’s Emily.” You inform her rebalancing the tally of facts you keep sharing with each other. “Though she’d kill you for calling her that. I think she’d change her name completely if she didn’t think it would upset our Dad so much. She just goes by Em these days ..so ..she probably would have enjoyed your silly little initial idea, actually,” you admit thoughtfully, frowning a little at the realisation, “maybe I really should introduce you to her instead..”

“Por favor.” She says quietly, quickly shaking her head at you and raising your hand to her lips once again. “Don’t even joke about it.”

“Will you be going to the game tomorrow?” You ask, a not-so-subtle attempt at finding out if you might be getting to see each other again so soon. “We’d be like star-crossed lovers in the stands. Very Romeo and Juliet of us!”

“I don’t know that we want to be comparing ourselves to those two! I don’t remember it ending very well for them.” She reminds you, narrowing her eyes at you as her intriguing little smirk returns to her face. “And no. I’m working tomorrow, I won’t be in the stands.”

“Boo. You can’t be that big of a fan, then!” You tut in disappointment. “I’ve come all this way to support my team!”

“Your team!” She chuckles. “Will you be there in a Chelsea shirt?”

“Absolutely not. I’ll be in very neutral colours.”

She smiles, nibbling at the inside of her mouth as she lowers her eyes to look at the table. She knocks her hand gently on it a few times before turning her attention back to you. It’s impossible to know what she’s thinking, but she’s definitely debating something silently in her head.

“I could give you a Barcelona one?” She suggests a little cautiously, and you have to smile at the idea. Your sister would certainly disown you if you took one of those back home with you. It’d be worth it, just to see the look on her face.

“You have a very weird habit of offering me your clothes.” You tell her slyly.

“Mhmm. I really like seeing you in them.” She admits sultrily, and your breath catches as her eyes darken looking at you. “I think I have one in my bag, if you want it.”

It’s a surprisingly sexy little offer, and you do quite like having her clothes on your body. It’s hard not to laugh at her peculiarity, though, even your sister isn’t that crazy of a football fan.

“You just ..carry it around with you at all times?” You ask, furrowing your brow as you chuckle at her. “That’s really weird of you! Do you sell them? You go round offering them to unsuspecting tourists? Is that your job? Is it a fake? Are yo—”

“You need to stop trying to know things about me.” She interrupts softly, shaking her head as she chuckles.

“And just ..blindly accept that you always have a football shirt on you?”

“Mhmm.” She giggles, and you narrow your eyes at her.

She really is very curious.

She pulls it out from her little duffle bag from under the table and hands it to you with a gleam in her eye as you take it from her. You push your empty coffee cup to the side and spread the shirt out over the table to study it.

They’re not exactly your colours, but you can probably make them work. You hold it up against you to check that it will suit, and she bites her lip as she watches you. There’s a name printed on the back of it, you realise, and you smile a little as you read it in your head.

“Don’t most adults keep it blank? Or just go for their favourite player?” You ask smirking. You turn the shirt around and rest it over yourself, and she gently bites at the skin around her fingernail as you trace the lettering over your chest. “I thought it was just little kids that got their own name on the back. Do you quite like pretending you’re also on the team?”

“Mhmm ..maybe.” She mumbles, stifling a giggle as she rests her head in her hand. She smiles at you fondly, as she continues gazing at your little shirt inspection.

“That’s really very cute of you.” You tell her, placing the shirt back on the table and leaning over it as you trace your fingers over the number. “Why ‘11’?”

“Hm?”

“11. You have it tattooed on you. You’ve chosen it for your shirt.” You point out. “Is it your birthday? You were born on the 11th? You were born in November? Born on New Year’s Day? Is it just your lucky number? Is it—”

“Stop, trying to know things about me.” She interrupts again quietly, reaching for your hand and meeting you across the table to rest her forehead to yours.

“But I want to know things about you.” You whisper. “I want to know when your birthday is. I’d like to know your surname. I want to know what you do for a living, how you got those scars on your knee, how much you weighed when you were born. The name of your first crush, where you went to school, the meaning behind your tattoos. I want to know each and every incredible milestone you’ve ever achieved, and all the unfathomably boring things that you got up to in between each of them. I want to know every single detail about you, and your life, Alexia. I really, really want to know you.”

It’s quite the thing for you to confess to the poor woman after only meeting her on two separate occasions, but the way her grip on your hand kept tightening as you spoke, the slight clenching of her jaw, and the fact that her lips are dangerously close to yours once again, probably means you haven’t just completely scared her off with it.

“We’d have to spend a lifetime together, trying to learn all of that about each other.” She whispers to you, her lips lightly brushing against yours.

“Is that a proposal?” You chuckle, gently bumping your nose to hers. Your eyes trail to her lips, and it’s really very hard to not act on your impulses. “Am I really not allowed to kiss you in h—“

It seems that you are allowed to kiss her in here, when it’s right at the back where no one’s watching. Or she’s allowed to kiss you, at least, because there's no doubt which one of you instigated this. Her lips move against yours, and your pulse reacts to her immediately.

It's a kiss harbouring an awful lot of emotion, for two people who still hardly know each other. It's slow, passionate, careful, and every confusing little worry that's been plaguing your brain since the last time you kissed, instantly melts away into nothing as her tongue slips back into your mouth. You're the only two people in the world when her hand's pulling you in by the back of your neck, and you’re tugging her closer by grabbing at her shirt.

It’s probably a good job she did decide to take you further away from everybody else, because it doesn’t stay an entirely family-friendly kiss for very long. It’s not wildly inappropriate, you’re not animals, and the bastard table’s in the way of you doing too much with each other. Thank goodness it is, because it’s been over a month, after all, and you’re both clearly quite a bit needy. You really can’t be doing that in public.

“I’ve missed you.” She murmurs against your lips, pulling you impossibly further into her.

“I really missed you too.”

Hours feel like minutes, in Alexia’s company, as you spend the afternoon roaming Barcelona together. She still refuses to tell you everything about herself. You don’t learn her surname, and she still won’t tell you what she does for a living, but you do both share other things about yourselves with each other.

It doesn’t matter how insignificant any of the details probably are. Every single one of them still feels important to you, because it’s another little glimpse into her. Every single fact, story and secret that she shares, is what makes Alexia, who she is, and she was absolutely right, you do find yourself falling more for her, with all of the little things you keep discovering.

She eventually agrees to tell you her birthday. Which makes the whole ‘11’ obsession even more intriguing to you, because the 4th of February ’94 does absolutely nothing to clear that little mystery up. It does tell you that the man in his twenties that you were looking for the night you first met, didn’t even turn out to be a woman in her twenties at all. She turned 30 nearly 3 months ago. She’s absolutely decrepit!

She gives you a tiny tour on your stroll together, bringing some clarity to the Catalonian streets you’ve been carelessly walking down. Explaining the extra confusing writing on the menu board, and casually revealing to you that she can speak 3 different languages. So, your drunken boast about your GCSE level German, probably wasn’t very impressive to her at all.

You’re both approached a fair few times by people asking for directions. You can never understand what it is that they’re saying, and you're not really of much use to them just standing there being awkward. So, you hang off a little to the side taking in your surroundings, waiting for her to help them out, before she excitedly returns back to you. You’re not at all bothered by the interruptions. Your patience with it keeps earning you a quick discreet kiss from her as she wraps her arms around your waist, and you return the same display of affection, for her unrelenting kindness to strangers.

Alexia insists that she isn’t a tour-guide, and she’s also not an actress. So, you are very slowly whittling down the options of what it is she could possibly do for a living. She asks you about your own career, which is incredibly cheeky of her, considering. So, you simply refuse to tell her.

Maybe it’s that competitive streak in you, but if she wants to play it secretive, you can absolutely match her for it. You only agree to give her the corresponding facts to the one’s she’s willing to give to you. That way, if she’s falling for you with each new piece of information the same way that you’re doing for her, at least you’re both crashing down for each other, at exactly the same speed.

There’s slightly less careless abandon with being too physical with each other, walking hand in hand around Barcelona. It’s arguably tame compared to how you both were back in London. Whether it’s the lack of alcohol that’s keeping her more reserved, or maybe just because it isn’t yet nighttime, you’re not entirely sure.

You’re still stealing kisses as you waltz along the streets, but you’re not pushing each other up against the walls of buildings out in the open. Maybe that would be a little indecent of you both. You’re pulling each other down quiet alleyways, instead, pressing yourselves together in secret coves.

It doesn’t feel entirely necessary, the streets you’re exploring aren’t particularly packed with people, but you don’t question it too much. You’ve really just missed having her lips on yours, and whatever capacity she feels comfortable doing it in, you’re more than willing to oblige.

You couldn’t really care less who sees you kissing her. You all but forget that they exist when she's pulling you into her and leaving her mark on you. It is arguably far more exciting, however, trying to be sneaky about it with each other. You're both almost actively searching for places that you're unlikely to get caught in. Finding hidden areas and seeing how much you can get away with together.

Your hands find their way under her shirt on more than one occasion. She really does have the most beautiful body. She jokingly reprimands you for it each time, but she doesn’t really discourage you from doing it. She does continually tease you, for your ever-decreasing signs of straightness, though.

Each newly shared kiss with Alexia, is somehow even better than the last. Whether she’s passionately throwing caution to the wind with you, by kissing down your neck, or trapping your bottom lip between her teeth. Even when she’s just being painfully frustrating, by giving you the quickest of pecks before skipping away. Every single one of them still sets your soul on fire, and they still manage to pull all the air right out from your lungs, every single time.

Alexia waits with you, as it turns to evening, on a bench by the road for your taxi back to your hotel. You try not to let the mild burning in your eyes ruin your final moments with her, but you can feel yourself starting to break.

She pulls out the football shirt from her bag again and holds it out for you to take with a shy smile. “I really hope you enjoy the game tomorrow.” She says, and you try to allow yourself to chuckle a little while nodding your head.

“Mhmm. Thank you, I’ll try.” You tell her, throwing her shirt over your shoulder and quickly rubbing the corner of your eyes. “I’ll have to get Em’s permission to wear this, first. She’ll be very unimpressed with me.”

“Just don’t let her burn it!”

“I won't.” You promise, interlacing your fingers with hers and placing a kiss to the back of her hand. “The other fans might throw tomatoes at it, mind!”

She chuckles, pressing a kiss to your temple, and there’s that familiar sense of dread in your stomach, as you watch the road, knowing your time together is quickly running out again.

You catch her gazing at you as you turn to her, and maybe there’s a little butterfly or two in your stomach as well, at the way her eyes are watching over you. “Are you okay?” You ask.

“Mhmm. You haven’t even gone yet,” she tells you smiling, tucking your hair back behind your ear, “and I already can’t wait to see you again.”

“You’re really that certain that you will? You’re still sure you don’t want us to swap numbers?”

“We’ve already bumped into each other a couple of times now. I have no doubt we’ll manage it again.”

It’s nowhere near as reassuring to you as it seems to be to her, but there’s a certain level of romance in her conviction in fortuity. Maybe you are beginning to believe in the possible existence of fate, though you're not completely enamoured by continuing to leave your encounters with Alexia, entirely up to chance. She cradles your head in her hands and gently wipes the tears that are threatening to spill from your eyes with her thumbs.

"I'll never forgive you," you warn her weakly, "if this ends up being it for us."

"Trust me." Is all she asks of you, and she pulls you back into her, resting her head against yours as she runs her fingers over your back.

It feels like an unspoken promise from her, to keep at least trying to find you, and there's a power in her certainty that has you desperate to believe in it too.

It’s still a little hard for you both to say goodbye to each other, but she’s already told you she has a busy day tomorrow, and you can’t really bring her back to your hotel when your sister’s already sharing the bed with you. You share another long hug, and a few more secret kisses before your taxi pulls up, and you finally hesitantly agree to part ways. She places a kiss to your cheek, by way of goodbye as you clamber yourself into the back of the car, setting off without her once again.

You try to reassure yourself, on the taxi ride back to your hotel. You've ran into each other twice, in two separate countries, by pure dumb luck. It can't be impossible for it to happen again. Maybe there’s something connecting you both, an invisible string, an intangible little bungee cord, that's making sure that neither of you is ever able to truly stray too far away from the other. Alexia has ‘no doubt’ that you’ll manage another meeting again, and you take some comfort in knowing, that you still have 2 days left in the city, to do exactly that.

________________

Collapsing back down to lay on the bed in your hotel room, you have a sneaking suspicion, that you’ll have a far better night’s sleep than you’ve managed to have in a long time, tonight. Your mind isn’t spiralling with confusion anymore, and there’s no longer a gaping hole inside of your chest.

There’s an excitement in you, a warmth. An encouraging little hope that you really have found something special. Someone special. That once-in-a-lifetime connection with another person who’s also trapped in this world along with you.

It definitely isn’t the someone you expected to intertwine your soul with. Any younger version of yourself would be very confused about where she’s ended up. It isn’t a connection you want to keep questioning either. It’s not one you really have any doubts on the existence of at all. She’s just it for you, and maybe it’s okay that that’s all you can say to justify it.

You don’t need to be attracted to other women; you don’t really care about your weakening attraction to men. It just makes sense when you’re together with her. There’s no confusion, no uncertainty, there’s no warning alarms ringing out in your head. There’s just Alexia, and the existence of anything and anybody else, will always pale in comparison to her.

Your sister arrives a little after you, plodding back into the hotel room, clearly wiped from whatever individual Spanish adventure she got up to today, and she flops herself into one of the armchairs with a very heavy sigh.

“Long day?” You ask.

“Mhmm.” She mumbles, frowning at you suspiciously. “You look very happy?”

“I am very happy!” You tell her with a smile. You excitedly roll over and reach down the side of the bed to retrieve your souvenir of the day from its hiding spot. You launch it right into your sister’s face and she grunts a little under the impact. “Will you hate me, if I wear that tomorrow?” You ask, trying to contain your newfound enthusiasm.

She pulls it off from where it’s wrapped itself around her head, and she gives you a very unimpressed look. “You bought a Barcelona shirt?” She asks, clearly disgusted with your choice of fashion.

“I was given it.”

“By?”

“..a woman.” You tell her, gently biting your bottom lip as you smile up at the ceiling.

“Mm.” She mutters with a sigh, moving to join you over on the bed. She thwacks the shirt down over your stomach and lets out a huff next to you. “Well, at least she has good taste.” She tells you. “Or she’s just a bit basic.”

That’s a little rude ..and very confusing.

“What do you mean?”

“Going for the best player on the team.”

That’s less rude ..but even more confusing.

“..What do you mean?”

“Are you joking?” She asks, with a very clear tone of annoyance to her voice. She grabs the shirt and thwacks you with it again. “A woman gives you a shirt with a name on the back, and you don’t even care enough to ask who the bloody player is?”

Maybe your head is racing again. That’s incredibly confusing. It really doesn’t make any sense. It’s her name, not a player’s name. Maybe they just share a name. It’s not an incredibly rare name, that’s not impossible.

Your Alexia has a mild interest in football, she’s not playing it professionally. Who would keep that a secret? She’s reticent with sharing information, that’s for certain, but she’s not a bloody liar, and she told you she wouldn’t even be there tomorrow.

No.

She said that she was working tomorrow, and that she wouldn’t be in the stands with you.

Your mind has started racing, and so has your little heart.

“What. do. you. mean?” You repeat slowly, trying to keep yourself calm.

“Alexia Putellas.” She tells you, very nonchalantly, and your brain all but short circuits at the name.

“Who is Alexia Putellas?”

She thwacks you again with your shirt in dismay, and you’ve really had just about enough of being treated like a piñata. You sit up, pull it from her hands and thwack it across her face as you ask her to explain herself.

“She’s a footballer, for fuck’s sake!” She shouts, rubbing the palm of her hand against her eyelid. “She’s Spanish. She plays for Barcelona!” She pulls out her phone, to search for her Instagram and bonks you on the head with it. “That’s Alexia Putellas, you twat.”

You look at the profile, and the hotel room blurs around you. You can feel your heart thumping in your chest, hear the blood pumping around in your ears.

Your Alexia, is Alexia Putellas.

She doesn’t sell shirts for a living, she’s not an actress nor a tour-guide, she really isn’t even a spy. Though she’d probably make a pretty good one, the way she never gave this piece of information away.

Your unexplainable connection with another human being, and she plays football for a living? Clearly very well too, as 2 of her pinned photos have her holding a massive award for it right next to her face. Every other post on her page is about football. She’s Barcelona, through and through.

She’s verified, she has over 3 million followers. She’s been out here, existing on the world’s stage, all this time, without you ever knowing. Your own sister’s been privy to more information about her than you have.

She was in London a month ago for football, according to her Instagram posts. The cryptic little ‘business trip’ she was on, was a quarter-final match against Arsenal. An embarrassingly easy win for Barcelona, she must have been out celebrating it when she found you in that club.

She was back in London again last week for football. You could have seen her then. You missed a chance at an earlier reunion with her, because you refused to go with your little sister to watch her in the first leg against Chelsea.

Your breathing’s very shallow as you scroll through the endless stream of photos. Your mind is absolutely spinning. It’s all a bit much to take in. You lock your sister’s phone and place it back on her chest as you try to collect yourself. You really don’t want to risk learning too much about her. You want her to tell you everything, you don’t want to find it all out behind her back.

You’ve been waiting with bated breath all afternoon, savouring every little piece of information she’s given you, and your smart-arse little sister could probably tell you loads about her if you asked. Lots of the details you’re so desperate to know about Alexia are probably only a quick google search away, but you feel guilty enough just knowing her surname without her having been the one to tell it to you.

She hadn’t been super willing to even give you her first, and no wonder! It’s the single name that’s plastered on her shirt, it’s the name she’s known mononymously as. She’s women’s football’s answer to Beyoncé, Adele.

Of course, she didn’t want to kiss you in front of people in the café, out there on the streets. It’ll be why she only kissed your cheek in front of the taxi driver. She probably is a little liar, because she almost certainly wasn’t giving directions to people when they approached you both. She presumably isn’t old friends with the two men who wanted a photo with her. They all just know who she is. The whole damn city of Barcelona knows exactly who she is.

Maybe she was testing you, waiting for you to crack, to confess to knowing everything about her. How couldn’t you know about her? How unbelievably rude of you.

She’s a celebrity footballer, and you’ve treated her like she’s one of the most normal people in the world. You’ve flirted with her, teased her, kissed her, slept with her, and she’s welcomed it all with that adorable little smirk.

So, maybe she’s liked that you didn’t know, that you really had no idea about who she was at all. You can’t have had any preconceived thoughts about the woman when you’ve had no prior knowledge about her. Perhaps it’s been part of the fun for her, just being with someone who really couldn’t care about the noise surrounding her. Maybe that’s the reason she didn’t really want you knowing about it. Her fame could have changed things, pushed you away.

It wouldn’t have. She’d have to do something intrinsically evil to frighten you off. Especially now, after the afternoon you’ve just spent together, learning more, and falling deeper for her. She’s still just the woman that baffled you with a lime in a nightclub, wound you up by kissing someone else. Rescued you from a night of undeniable regret, and turned it into the start of something magical.

She’s your once-in-a-lifetime connection, your confusing, and frustrating, perfect one-night stand companion. She’s the woman that's turned your whole world on its head, and it just turns out, that she quite likes to kick a ball around, with a bunch of other women for a living, and people from all over the world, have been watching her excel at it for years.

She has to know that you’ll have found out already, you’ve told her your sister’s football obsessed. Even if your sister didn’t know who she is, there’s bound to be other people wearing her name on their backs tomorrow. Probably not many of them were given their shirts by the woman herself. There’ll be even less of them with one of her sweatshirts in their bag.

Maybe she’s excited for you to connect all the pieces together. Giving you her shirt was far too bold a move for her to still not want you to know. She’d have just talked you out of going to the game, if that was the case.

She wants you there, being a very daring rebel, with her name boldly resting between your shoulder blades, rooting for her and Barcelona, right in the middle of the Chelsea fans. You’ll probably stand out like a sore thumb with your red stripes in the sea of blue you’ll be standing in, and maybe that’s exactly what she’s hoping for. She had ‘no doubt’ that you'd see each other again, after all.

“She’s the best player on the team?” You ask your sister dreamily, collapsing back down on the bed and clinging to the shirt in your hand as you hold it against your body.

“Mhmm. Best in the world.” She tells you, and there’s that exhilarating little thrill shooting right up through your body.

“Oof. I’ll tell Sam Kerr you said that!”

She scoffs to the side of you and flicks your forehead playfully. You lift Alexia’s shirt, holding it out in between your fingers to study her name again in disbelief.

You're falling in love, with the ‘best in the world,’ and she seems to be falling for you, too. A little nobody from London, who’s spent the past month pining after who she thought, was a little nobody from Spain. She’s once again turned your whole damn world on its head.

She really is absolutely everything.

“I will hate you if you wear that thing tomorrow.” Your sister warns you, as she hits the shirt with the back of her hand. “I offered you a Chelsea shirt and you gagged at it!”

“I’ve not gagged at this one.” You point out with a grin. “It’s a shame you won’t be friends with me tomorrow.” You tell her, resting the shirt back out over your torso.

“You can’t wear it!”

“I bloody can, and I very much will.” You inform her. “You should rethink wearing a Chelsea shirt. You’ll be very disappointed when we beat you tomorrow.”

“‘We?’ You really are a twat. You’re Barcelona’s biggest fan all of a sudden?”

“Too bloody right, I am!” You tell her decidedly, hugging the shirt against you. “I’ve always loved football, me.”

#woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #woso imagine #alexia putellas imagine

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p4p1l0nn · 4 months

Text

sweet fury.

pairing: jeno x fem!reader

content warning: 18+ choking!kink, dom!jeno, bondage, rough sex, masturbation, fingering.

a/n: might not be the best, but here you go.

born into a narrative where love was more than a fleeting emotion, lee jeno understood its depth from the earliest days.

his upbringing was a canvas adorned with the brushstrokes of kindness, generosity, and genuine care. it wasn't the indulgence of material possessions that marked him as a privileged soul, but rather the wealth of love that he effortlessly showered upon those he encountered.

jeno had this sweet way about him, like a kid who's just a bit pampered, not with fancy things but with a heart full of warmth. his kindness was infectious, spreading happiness wherever he went. his genuine love for people shining through.

however, there was a chapter in jeno's life that whispered a more intense desire — an obsession that he lived for, entwined with his very being. in short, sex. some might have labeled him a womanizer, but for jeno, it was a pursuit of a connection that he found enduring, a journey that began with a collision of shared glances and the electric spark of mutual attraction.

through his experiences, jeno discovered the intricacies of sex, the language of touch that spoke volumes. it wasn't just a fleeting desire; it was a canvas where he painted the hues of passion, exploring the depths of human connection in a dance as old as time.

his fascination with the sensual started with the innocence of a young heart, exploring the undiscovered realms of desire. with each encounter, he peeled back layers of intimacy, seeking a connection that went deeper than the physical. it wasn't just about pleasure for jeno; it was a journey into the soul, an enduring pursuit to understand how hearts could entwine in countless ways.

he enjoyed every position, every angle, with every woman — no preferences. whether they had curves or not, as long as there were boobs and pussy, he was satisfied.

but among them all, none sparked his passion like you. the things they shared, the unique moments created, were unlike anything he experienced with anyone else, and it made him and you exceptionally happy. tonight was no different.

you lie on the bed, arms reaching above, wrists gently restrained by leather cuffs attached to the headboard. your elegantly long legs are spread, ankles secured like your wrists. yearning for his touch, any hint of friction, you writhe on the bed.

a desperate moan escapes your lips, raspy from chanting his name moments before.

he lightly slaps your breast, leaving a trace of fiery red. “didn't i ask you to keep quiet?” he whispers, a teasing edge in his voice, adding to the intoxicating dance of pleasure and command.

you gently nibbled on your lower lip, a touch of anticipation reflected in your eyes as they widened with lust. your hands formed gentle fists, pulling at the restraints with a soft eagerness.

jeno confidently strolled beside the bed, wearing his nakedness shamelessly. tilt your head just right, and you could catch a glimpse of his cock's broad head swaying with each step.

at the foot of the bed, jeno took himself in hand, pumping himself. the deliberate, unhurried motion causing anticipation to swell. still carrying the warmth from your shared arousal, his experienced hands moved with skill over his length, his thumb delicately tracing the tip.

“you enjoy watching, don’t you, y/n?”

you buried your face into the mattress, your back arching gracefully off the bed. his smile widened in approval when the muffled utterance of his name escaped your throat.

despite the inability to rub your thighs together in your spread position, you attempted it, a testament to your yearning for any form of friction.

his bottom lip felt the pressure from his own bite as he increased the pace, a prominent vein along the underside of his cock becoming more defined. he was well aware of your affinity for running your tongue along that vein, maybe nipping at it or lightly scraping a fingernail over it. his eyelids lowered as he reached down, firmly squeezing his balls, indulging in the sensations that heightened the shared intimacy.

you pulled against the restraints, a yearning to beg him to draw nearer and satisfy your needs, yet all that escaped your lips was a breathy sigh. how could he entertain the thought of punishment when you were playing the obedient role so well?

his focus wasn't fixed on the fact that you were toeing the line. instead, his half-lidded eyes lingered on your arousal. you were visibly wet, and he could almost feel the pulse beneath your skin quicken with every beat of your heart.

just as he felt he might have pushed too far, teetering on the edge, he halted, pinching the tip to stave off his impending orgasm. his lungs strained from heavy breaths, and he could tell, from your look and the scent lingering in the air, that you were more than ready.

kneeling at the bed's end, he leaned over, fists placed on either side of your hips. bending down, he grazed his nose against your hip bone, inhaling deeply. “shit, y/n, you smell amazing.”

your hips moved, urging his face closer to the part of you yearning for him. a scowl adorned his face as he gripped your hips, pressing them into the mattress. “stay still.”

without waiting for your response, he swiftly transitioned from giving a command to plunging two fingers into your core. it demanded every ounce of your strength not to react or vocalize the intensity of his touch.

you managed to keep quiet until his tongue flicked over your already over stimulated clit.

in the struggle, you bit down on your lip, splitting it, and finally unleashed a scream that could easily rouse the neighbors.

jeno retracted his fingers, moving with quick precision. his slickened fingers found its place on your throat, squeezing firmly. “what did i say?” he demanded, each word punctuated with controlled force.

with your airway constricted, your response was limited to miming his commands. “be quiet and hold still,” you mouthed back.

his hand still on your throat, he kissed you hungrily, extracting more blood from the cut your teeth had caused. aware of your breath capacity and a signal or safe word, he patiently waited until you knocked on the headboard with a familiar rhythm.

his fingers released your throat, allowing you to engage more in the kiss. after giving your tongue a final playful suck, he delivered two quick slaps to each breast before making his way back between your legs. your breasts and stomach displayed various hues of red and purple from his touch, yet none surpassed the threshold of pain you could endure.

he glanced up, smirking, as he slid his fingers between your folds, a groan escaping when you clung to him. your entire body trembled, yet you resisted the urge to grind against him, urging him to explore the next destination.

with a throaty chuckle, he blew gently, his fingers pumping and finding that sweet spot that promised euphoria.

your entire body flushed with release as you came on jeno's hand, but he wasn't finished orchestrating this pleasure.

he delicately flicked his tongue over your clit, circling it with the tip before enveloping it with his sinfully full lips.

a decisive suck, a nip from his teeth, and it felt like a flash grenade detonated in your mind — ears ringing with static, vision washed in white, your hips lifted off the bed as you repeatedly screamed, “jeno, jeno, jeno.” he grabbed your ass, burying his face further, guiding you through the intense waves of this overwhelming orgasm.

you moistened your lips, the taste of blood from the cut spreading, your body still in the aftermath of twitches. a quick realization hit as you sensed the iron grip on your throat — a clear sign of disobeying his rules.

gazing up, you met a pair of eyes that seemed to morph into something almost beast-like, slowly consumed by his pupils.

his fingers tightened around your neck, resting between your legs, nudging the head of his cock against you. despite the lingering energy from your recent climax, your clit throbbed, yet the yearning for him buried within you prevailed. rolling your hips, you were rewarded with the entrance of his tip.

jeno sneered, “you crave my cock?”

though he hadn't initiated choking yet, the weight of his hand and the implicit promise intensified with each flex of his fingers. a single word escaped your lips, “yes.”

“i’m not sure if you've earned it. rules have been ignored,” he stated, exercising every ounce of restraint to resist thrusting his hips. instead, he pressed forward ever so slightly.

beneath his hand, your neck quivered. “i'm sorry.”

jeno squeezed your breast, exerting a rough squeeze on the soft flesh, grinding his hand's heel into your nipple. “are you?” he pinched the pebbled nipple with the same grip, eliciting a mix of pain and pleasure that shot down your spine.

your back arched almost entirely off the bed. “y-yes.”

his thumb traced over the hollow of your throat, sensing your racing heart beneath his fingers before giving a swift squeeze. a gasp escaped as the lack of oxygen left you momentarily helpless. he smiled at the flicker of vulnerability in your eyes. “tell me y/n. tell me what you want.”

you drew in a sharp breath between your teeth once his grip relaxed just enough. “i want you to fucking fuck me, lee jeno.”

what followed became almost a blur. he thrust into you forcefully, causing your head to collide with the headboard. the room echoed with the wet smack of skin as your bodies collided, accompanied by grunts and moans shared between you and jeno.

tremors rippled through you, enveloping and pulsating around him. he sensed that restricting your oxygen supply would intensify the climax for both. with a snarl, his hand flexed, squeezing the top of your windpipe. your eyes widened, and the orgasm was almost immediate.

you grunted and made gurgling sounds as the climax hit hard and almost violently. your face took on a lovely shade of crimson, reminiscent of freshly spilled blood, a sight that stayed with jeno.

he thrust his hips with increased intensity, leveraging his grip on your throat for added force, colliding against you until the culmination led to his release. his pupils expanded, engulfing the intense white as he poured into you. the darkness consumed everything, resembling a dark sky.

your knuckles tapped the headboard, signaling that you had reached your limit. his hand slackened, but the rhythmic movement of his hips persisted.

despite both of you having climaxed, your bodies craved the friction. his balls slapped against your ass with a slick sound, and his mouth found your neck, mirroring where his hand had been.

he bit, licked, and sucked until you came again. this time, silence engulfed — no words, no sounds, just a high arch of your back and your mouth agape. he continued the rhythm until both of you were motionless, pushing your bodies to their utmost limits.

#jeno smut #jeno hard hours #nct dream smut #nct smut #nct hard hours #jeno hard thoughts #nct jeno smut #jeno x reader #jeno x y/n #lee jeno

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romanoffsbish · 1 year

Text

Bible Study

Priest!Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff

WandaNat x Fem!Reader

Warnings: BLASPHEMOUS! (Read with caution) Mean-ish WandaNat. (Am I a whore?)

Smut: Father (N), Mommy (W), Bunny (R) |Fingering (R), Oral (W), Unprotected Sex (R-Nat has a Dick), Kinks: Spitting, Slapping, Praising, Breeding.

18+ | Minors DNI | Please Don’t Report^ Labeled.

4,674 Words

Wanda knew everyone in town, it was part of the gig being the pastors wife and all, so when you entered their church this morning her curious eyes locked right in on your docile form as you took a seat on the aisle three rows back.

"Isn't she so pretty Natty?" Wanda held onto her wife's bicep with unexpected force as she surveyed the crowd settling into the pews, "She's precious, can we have her, please?"

Natasha chuckled, "Will that make my detka happy?" Wanda nodded. "Then she's all ours."

The couple shared a sweet kiss before Wanda took her rightful place in the front pew, right by their twins, Billy and Tommy Romanoff. They were a perfect split, Billy looked just like Wanda, while Tommy looked like Natasha.

——

Natasha softly smiled down at her family, then she looked out at her congregation with a grin, "Good morning everyone, shall we begin?"

—

The sermon was great, it didn't feel anything like you were used to in the past, there was an air of understanding in the preachers eyes and you knew it to be genuine as she had a wife. Word traveled around this small town fast, which is why you ended up here this Sunday.

There wasn't judgement here, and that was the way it should always be, as the bible itself says.

There was a post sermon luncheon being hosted across the way from the main church in a smaller building, it definitely piqued your interest, but you were unable to bring yourself to enter, so you did the next best thing and turned to leave towards the parking lot.

"Where are you sneaking off to dorogoy?"

"Oh, um hi there ma'am, I was headed home."

Wanda winced, "Please, refrain from calling me ma'am, it feels like you've just wounded me honey," she gripped at her heart to feign pain, causing you to chuckle softly, "My apologies..."

"Wanda," she held out her hand, you nervously accepted it, and your knees threatened to buckle at the mere sight of her gorgeous smile.

"So, instead of heading home, how about you follow me in? We'd love to get to know you."

"Y/N."

"A pretty name, attached to such a pretty face, what a shocker," she mused, relishing in the sight of your widened eyes, and at the way your head fell to hide your sudden nervous smile.

Wanda escorted you to the table with her kids, "I'll be right back with some snacks, sit tight."

"Hi!" Tommy shouted, you met his enthusiasm with a calm wave. "I'm Tommy, this is Billy."

"Hi," Billy greeted, far more reserved than his brother, "You're new, what brings you here?"

"I'm on a journey of self discovery actually," you admitted, rather easily at that, "I'm from out West, but I decided to venture out and in my journey I seem to have ended up here."

"Interesting, of all the places you could've traveled to, tell me honey, why New Jersey?"

It shocked you to see the pastor stood beside you, she was no longer in her church attire, but instead she wore a pair of blue jeans, with a simple white shirt that clung to her muscular figure in a way that seemed far too sinful for the venue, but your eyes still wandered.

"I-I'm not exactly sure Pastor Romanoff, I just know something told me that this was where I needed to be, so I parked my RV and stayed."

Natasha smirked, if her job has taught her anything, it's that God works in mysterious ways, and that this here was a true testament to the powerful nature of divine intervention.

"Please, call me Nat," she extended her hand out, and even if your hand was clammy, like before you accepted it, and whispered, "Y/N."

"Well Y/N, we're so happy to have a new face around, especially one as gorgeous as yours," she winked and you about lost the ability to breathe as she looked at you like you were her prey while her children were sat there coloring.

Wanda returned to see you looking absolutely awestruck, your lips pursed, while your eyes were chock-full of wonder as well as terror. Their prayers have finally been answered is all she can think as she settles down beside you, a smidge too close for a preachers wife you reckon, but you also can't be bothered to care.

"Hey, Y/N," you turned to look at her, your breath hitching as you nearly bumped noses, "Are you free for an introductory bible study?" Wanda smiled at you, innocent in nature, but you could see something more devious brewing behind those mesmerizing viridescent orbs.

"I-I, where, when?"

Natasha smirked, "Here, tonight, let's say 6?"

"Yeah, okay, what do I need to bring?" you asked while jumping to your feet in a rush.

Wanda followed your movement, placing a hand on your lower back she gently guided you to the exit with her wife right behind her, the women smiling brightly as you faced them.

"Just bring your pretty self," Wanda said while placing a kiss on your slightly heated cheek, "We'll handle the rest, don't worry about it."

When you got into your RV your skin was crawling, every alarm that could go off did, but you simply turned the radio up to drown them out, and headed straight towards your hotel. Where you paced for about an hour, deciding if returning was a smart idea, and wondering why you had the urge to shave for such a night.

You're preparing for the likes of a date, when in reality you're meant to meet the pastor and her wife to go over various pieces of scripture. You could use some sort of help honestly, resisting temptation was never exactly your strong suit, and with women as gorgeous as them you were perceivably hopeless if you read the vibe right.

And God, were you hoping you did...

—

After hours of deliberation you found yourself eagerly driving back to the church, a bible in your shaky hand as you got out of the vehicle. But it mattered not when your heart was consumed entirely by sin, your body matched that sentiment, adorned in a lacy red two piece that you could catch a glimpse of through your sheer white top tucked into a tight black skirt.

"Oh fuck," Natasha cursed, she could feel her cock hardening at the sight of you through the blinds in her office, "Wanda, come look at her."

"Yebena mat'," Wanda cursed in her wives mother tongue, "Come on, she's waiting!"

(Holy shit)

Natasha and Wanda quietly approached you from behind as you were stood in front of the church doors in wait for the clock to strike six.

"Aren't you an early bird?" Wanda announced herself with a playful smile when you turned to her, a bit startled, but you were able to recover pretty quickly, "I haven't got much else to do."

"Really? You're dressed so," Natasha paused, eyes drinking you in, her tongue seductively moving passed her lips as she wetted them before her tone dropped, "Provocatively."

You smirked, unsure where this sudden wave of confidence of yours came from, but you were ready to run with it, "Oh, well I actually have a date after bible study, but I thought I looked cute, are you saying this gives the wrong idea?"

Natasha's jaw clenched as she brushed passed you with the church keys, meanwhile Wanda's only giveaway towards jealousy was her eyes. They spoke in place of her neutral expression.

"It's cute, but Natasha's right, you look slutty."

Words worked too you supposed...

They left you stood in the doorway with your mouth agape, and a sinking feeling setting in. You were just trying to tease them, but it seems all you did was anger them, and likely ruined your chances of this fantasy to actually happen.

"Are you coming Y/N? You're letting all the cold air in honey," Wanda called out to you, and it was her soft voice giving you whiplash that brought you back from your mind full up on turmoil. "Yup, sorry," you shuffled inside, shutting the large doors behind you, and in doing so, you effectively sealed your fate.

Natasha cleared her throat, "Come here," she was stern in not only tone but stance as she stood at her podium behind the altar, and you had no interest in making her mad so your legs swiftly brought you to her. "Kneel," she husked, sending shivers down your spine as you were quick to obey the alluring woman in charge.

"You won't be needing this," Wanda slipped the bible from your hands, leaving you in a state of total confusion, your eyes tracked the room as you began to realize that this was indeed a closed bible study, and not just a fantasy.

"Look at me," Natasha commanded, and your flickering gaze instantly settled on her stony face, "From this moment forward you will call me Father, and if at anytime you wish to leave, you're free to go, do I make myself clear?"

"Answer her malysh," Wanda said from right beside you where she was crouching down to be on your level, "Don't upset her now honey, or this'll be no fun for any of us, and mommy wants to have fun with her precious bunny."

You nodded without a moment's hesitation, "Yes father, I understand," you smiled at her, and for a brief moment you saw her lips upturn before they fell back into a neutral position.

Natasha turned away to grab some things, and as she did that you released a nervous breath, only to have another caught in your throat as Wanda pressed herself into you. "You're so pretty bunny," she craned her head around to gently kiss your cheek, an act of faux innocence because in the next instance she was kissing your tingling lips hard enough to leave you breathless, "Can I touch your body, hm?"

The question felt near redundant, her lips have already touched yours, while her hands held onto your hips for support from behind, so you knew that what she was asking wasn't as simple as it sounded, and you were so eager to give in, you nodded vigorously, but Natasha gripped your chin before you could nod again.

"Use your words," she held you tighter for emphasis, "Unless you wish for consequences."

"Sorry father, I-I promise to be good," Natasha nodded, and once she loosened her grip you turned to face Wanda, "Yes mommy, you are both free to touch me however you like."

"There you go," Natasha smiled at you, it was soft, but in a condescending way, "I knew you weren't just a pretty face, such a smart girl."

While Wanda's hands bunched your skirt up Natasha's hand gripped your chin again, far less tightly than before, "Open up bunny."

Natasha watched with pride as you obediently parted your lips, she lifted the chilled golden chalice to her lips, sipping the ruby tinted wine into her mouth before she slowly leaned over, and sensually spit the wine directly into yours.

It was perfectly synchronized, the altered liquid permeated your tastebuds, and then it slid down your throat just as Wanda slid two of her fingers into your dripping cunt. Natasha pressed her lips to yours just as a scream was ripped from your burning throat, catching it with efficient ease, and spurring your arousal on tenfold as she slid her tongue over yours.

Never in your days did you expect communion to play out like this, but you'd honestly never felt closer to a higher being than you did now. Natasha, and Wanda were the holy figureheads for this small town, you understood the appeal right away with their charms, and now you thanked the world for introducing them to you.

"You're dripping," Wanda groaned, "Good grief, do you hear yourself detka? So wet."

You'd willed yourself to feel shame for what was taking place here tonight, you felt like a common mans' whore with how easily you were giving it up, but you just couldn't seem to care. With the way she fucked you, and Lord, with the words she said, they had you in a chokehold. "It's like this pussy was meant for mommy's fingers. Don't you agree detka?"

Natasha pulled away from you, the picture perfect display of cool as you panted loudly. She returned to her previous position, moving about to put things in order for, well, you hadn't a clue honestly, but you were excited.

"Answer mommy," Natasha commanded, "Sorry father," you choked out over a moan, "Y-yes mommy, I was made just for you to fuck."

"Watch your mouth," Natasha chided, her hand made instant contact with your cheek, "Pretty girls like you need not speak like that Y/N."

"Oh, okay, I-I'm sorry father, I won’t swear,” you stuttered, mind currently reeling from how your body alit with this nearly painful desire as her hand harshly collided with your skin, you nearly asked her to do it again, you’re certain Wanda knew too with the way she smirked against your shoulder, you’d clenched so hard she felt your walls suck her in even deeper.

“U shlyukhi bolevoy sindrom,” Wanda spoke in secrets to her wife, you dropped the redheads gaze as soon as she looked to you with a smirk, she knew now. “Imeyet smysl.”

(The slut has a pain kink / Makes sense)

You wish you could say you were embarrassed now, but you weren’t, only eager for more.

The pastor began to hum a familiar tune to fill the nearly silent room, and with that followed Wanda's sultry voice,"'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace, my fears relieved." Natasha unexpectedly sang out the next line, "How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed."

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound," the women kept their voices low, their raspy tones wrapped around your brain as they harmonized, further clouding your lusty mind. "Sing with us sweetheart," Wanda nibbled on the lobe of your ear as her thumb grazed your clit, pulling a set of delicious mewls from you.

"Go on bunny, be our good girl," Natasha purred, her face now in front of yours as she crouched down before you with a sly smirk.

"That saved a wretch like me," you were alone as you choked out the next line, working your hardest to not get too lost in the pleasure that you forget the words, you weren't sure she wouldn't stop if you did. Wanda sped up her pace in reward, her lips parted as she breathed heavily, seeing you so pliant for them made her heart swell with hope, and she was giddy to see her wife's eyes held the same dream when they locked gazes. Natasha nodded; it was time.

"I once was lost, but now I'm found," all three of you sang the next line in synchrony, "Go on detka, let go, finish the song for us."

Her words felt coded, and as you sang the last line you knew they were, "Was blind, but now I see," your vision blurred as you came a second later, finishing on Wanda's fingers as she'd curled them with a sort of expertise.

"Good girl," Wanda purred, you whimpered at her praise, you felt your walls clench around her fingers, and cried a moment later when she pulled them from you. You were spent, your body now sticky with a thin layer of sweat, your head rested on Wanda's shoulder as your heart pounded in your head, you didn't see nor hear what the women were saying or doing.

You'd never experienced as powerful of an orgasm before, it was very much life changing, and you nearly chuckled that it happened in a church. A place of worship; you surely felt that.

It wasn't until you felt pointed fingertips tap the side of your head that you opened your eyes. Natasha stared down at you with a grin, "What do you say bunny?" You smiled softly, "Thank you mommy," you turned awkwardly to kiss her lips in thanks. "Thank you Father."

Natasha beamed genuinely, loving the way that you understood without much guidance. You were perfect, her wife always had a knack for finding prizes, and she clearly has yet to fail.

Wanda's sticky, glistening fingers flooded your vision a second later as she dipped them into a metal basin, metaphorically washing her hands clean of your sin, but you noticed she left out two of her coated fingers. You watched with a dry mouth as she lifted her hand up to her wife who didn't hesitate to lick it clean, "Sweet..."

You nearly fainted, traces of your slick now layered over her lower lip, shining just right under the dimly lit church lights. Wanda's moan directly into your ear after she tasted you next made your body tremble with renewed need as you kept your eyes locked on her wife's. It felt as if they sought to kill you with their provocations, so sexy in their natural states.

Then, the icing on the cake came when the pastor dipped two of her fingers into the tainted water, stirring it languidly until she was satisfied that your essence had mixed in well.

"Vo imya papy," Natasha chanted in her mother tongue, her thumb dripping with the not so holy water pressed a circle into your forehead, then her hand returned to the bowl, "Mamochki," her thumb swirled over your left cheek, "I dragotsennogo zaychika ty budesh' nashim," and then repeated on the right.

(in the name of the father / mommy / and the precious bunny you will be ours.)

Wanda nearly snorted as the words translated in her mind, her wife always did have an odd sense of humor; you were likely none the wiser.

"Are you ready for more?" Natasha asked, and once you replied her pants were at her ankles. The redhead watched the way your eyes fell to her tented boxers instantaneously, "You see what you did to me bunny? It's aching, and the only remedy is to let me breed your pussy, ok?"

It was a risky game saying yes, you weren't on birth control, and though you wanted kids, you weren't exactly financially stable being on the road, but when you felt Wanda grip your hips a bit tighter, and saw the hopeful look in Nat's eyes you realized your life was about to change.

You nodded, but quickly fixed your mistake, "Please father, fill me up, make me pregnant."

"Oh bunny," Wanda coo'd as her arms wrapped around you in a tight embrace, "You're going to have to clean up the mess you made of mommy too," she swiftly shifted from behind you, and gently moved you to lie flat on the ground with her arms still around you. "Can you do that?"

"Of course," you beamed, a bit too excited for such a blessing. "Such a perfect gift you are." Wanda pecked your lips, then booped your nose, a soft moment before all the carnality.

Natasha cock sprung to life as she removed her boxers, she saw the way your eyes widened at her size, then she shifted her gaze as you did. The redhead began to lazily stroke herself as you both watched Wanda slip out of her dress.

"Wow," you gasped, both women chuckled as they took in your enamored features, "You're both so beautiful, a match made in heaven."

The irony of your words seemed to be lost on you in your dizzied state, but both women had to stifle a laugh. With how tonight's transpired, it's unlikely any of you are ever ascending.

"Have you seen yourself bunny?" Natasha spoke, "You've got to be like a fallen angel."

A warmth blossomed beneath your skin, and your bashful smile gave you away, you'd been well worked up as it was, but that did you in.

Within a moments time your brain further short circuited as the brunette straddled your chest, you internally cursed as you felt her wetness dripping down from the swell of your breasts. It was only turning you on more to know you caused any of this, and soon enough you moaned unabashedly as her aromatic arousal was pooling in the divots of your neck.

Wanda tutted as your hands tried to bring her closer, "Patience now bunny, I wanna see your pretty face first when daddy fills you up."

Natasha lined herself up with your hole, she slipped her tip in with ease, yet you clenched. The redhead groaned as you held her in a vice grip, with a harsh thrust of her hips half of her length was sheathed within you. Stretching your walls further than they’d ever been before, you moaned in a high pitch as her thick veins throbbed beneath the crushing pressure of your delighted pussy as you clenched.

Wanda’s legs were growing tired, as was her patience with the pit forming in her stomach, so without warning she slid down your chest and onto your agape mouth. She nearly fell forward as your screams echoed through her pussy, and sent shivers throughout her body.

Natasha had used the distraction of Wanda to fully pull out, then thrust back in until she was bottomed out. Wanda’s loud moan was simply an echo, her body a vessel for your pleasures release, letting Natasha know she was an expert at her craft, with her ego now doubled.

There was a cycle at play here, Wanda knew this very well, Natasha was staving off her release, but all the while ensuring that the both of you came, and well into the double digits.

Wanda was out of lives as you sucked her clit between your teeth harshly when her wife had slapped your clit with incredible force. The way you ate her out was different than she’d ever experienced before, it was a sloppy, tempered kinda carnal, it was so sensual, she could swear she was in Utopia, and she’d once thought she met God when she actually bagged Natasha.

Wanda surged forward, landing painfully onto the hardwood on her hands and knees due to the overstimulation. You barely had a chance to gulp down any air before Natasha was devouring your lips, her tongue greedily entering your mouth, lapping up her wife’s essence as she busts a nut without warning.

Her face falls into the crook of your neck with a pleasurable grimace, she was grunting hotly as she chased after her ever fleeting high, “Fuck!”Sounds reminiscent of a tidal wave could be heard between your legs as she desperately continued to fuck her seed into your womb.

“Oh bunny, daddy can’t wait to see your belly swell, pregnant with our kittens,” she was panting against your neck now as she built herself up to another fast approaching high. This time she completely stills as her orgasm paralyzes her with blinding pleasure, and you writhe as her seed instigates another big O.

Once she regains control of her body she jackhammers her hips into yours with no regard to your cries of anguish. “You’ll be an amazing mom Y/N, so good to all our babies,” she honestly whispered against your sweaty forehead as she laid a kiss there. Natasha had finally grown tired, pleased with her efficiency she finally allowed herself to rest atop of you, and stopped her attack on your sensitive pussy.

Wanda had already finished redressing by the time you and Natasha had finished recovering. Though her panties only grew wet as she watched the two of you beautifully fall apart. Once Natasha pulled out Wanda was kneeling at your side, her left hand cupped your face, while her other cupped your cunt. You hissed at the barest contact, whimpering, “no more,” as her fingers dipped inside, shoving back in the mixed arousal slowly oozing out of you.

Wanda didn’t want to hurt you, so she stopped after a few thrusts, scooping her fingers as she pulled out to bring the arousal to her mouth. You whimpered as she licked one of her digits clean, “Shh, mommy is gonna share bunny.” Wanda pressed her other finger passed your kiss swollen lips, leaving it there for you to suck on in a self soothing manner as she cleaned you up with a warm towel from the church kitchen.

You whined in subtle anguish, but you settled when she smiled at you with a tender gaze. In a haze of minutes for you, Wanda had redressed you and gotten you up onto at least your knees.

"Look at me bunny," Natasha cupped your cheek with a contrasting tenderness to every other touch she'd given you tonight, and she smiled just as tenderly when your hazy eyes lifted to meet hers, "Welcome to the church."

You snorted amusedly, "Thank you father,” your voice hoarse after the many harsh moans.

Natasha smirked down at you, the pad of her thumb ran over your lips, a soft gasp left her when you wrapped your lips around her digit, "Careful sweet girl, trust me, you can't handle another round tonight," her eyes darkened, and you were convinced of her terrifying honesty as you swallowed thickly and released her thumb.

"She's right detka," Wanda guided you to your feet, and kissed you with a natural smile, "Stick around town though, and I promise you we'll see to it that you're properly cared for by us."

"How so?" Wanda smiled, "In all the ways that matter, you could be ours, if you'd want that."

"But you have a date," Natasha reminded you, and you watched Wanda frown while still held tight in her embrace, "I-I was just kidding."

Wanda pressed her lips to your cheek, "That's so delightful to hear sweetheart, we aren't ones for sharing," leaving behind a smudge as she'd just freshly reapplied a layer of her lipstick.

Natasha reached for your hand next, so you extended yours to her, and she pulled you in for a far less tender kiss, but the way she cupped one half of your face told you she held you in an equally as tender regard as her wife.

"We'll see you next Sunday kotenok, drive safely, and don't forget to thank the Lord for all he's done for you in your nightly prayers," she softly pushed you passed the large oak doors, and you turned back to the happy couple with a smile that made their hearts flutter, "Thanks."

Wanda smiled warmly, "Pleasure was ours." Natasha winked at you, adorning that stupid smirk that made your core throb, you slowly wobbled your way back to your RV, a perfect reminder that you definitely did need to rest.

Wanda blew you a kiss, and watched with delight as every wall you had left crumbled as you dopily caught it. "I think I'm in love Natty."

The redhead turned away so she could lock up, "Mhm, she's a perfect fit for us, let's remember to thank God for divining us such a miracle,” suavely turning back around she sent a wink.

Wanda pressed her front into her wives, hands flat against her chest as she gazed up at her in wonder, "Do you think it worked?" Natasha's arms overlapped behind her wives lower back, her face contorted thoughtfully before she leant in to peck her alluring lips, "If it didn't, we'll make sure it does next time, she's ours now."

The couple shared a soft kiss, an excited smile worn on both their faces as they drove home. Soft tunes filled the air as they rode with the top of their mustang down, both women silent as they each dreamt up how to decorate the guest room. If all things worked out well, in a weeks time they hoped to be bringing you back with them, to the place you'll soon call home.

——

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4dkellysworld · 8 months

Text

Real talk: When I gave up

Okay real talk here. This journey isn't always easy, especially at the start when you've just learned everything and you're identifying with an ego. Near the beginning of my journey, I came to understand a lot of the teachings intellectually and even instinctively. There was only one thing left. To realize Self. And I would keep trying with all these practices but felt like nothing was "happening" (even though intellectually I already knew there was nothing to achieve since we are already Self!). It was frustrating (but of course! I was still looking at all this from the identification of the ego).

Then one day I was sick of trying, sick of feeling desperate, sick of being on this goddamn mental pilgrimage, that I decided to give up on trying altogether. I already AM Self. From that day on, I decided I would always identify as Self and never again as the ego. And that's when things started naturally unfolding without me even doing anything and I gained more understanding experientially. Probably an unpopular take (for realized gurus lol) but I also threw away self-inquiry as a practice because I found it to be the least helpful for me personally and why do I need to ask "Who am I" when I already know I Am?

Abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are - Nisargadatta Maharaj

I stopped seeking. I stopped trying. I stopped asking questions (including self-inquiry yay!). I stopped doing any practices to "get" or "understand" or "realize" anything. I stopped caring about understanding more of the teachings or gaining more understanding intellectually. I stopped thinking of Self-identification as some goal to reach, something that I need to progress on. I stopped waiting for anything to happen and just enjoyed being in the Now. I didn't realise at the time and only now upon reflection I realise that I gave up on all ego activities on spirituality lol. All of that is the ego looking for something to do and trying to achieve something. Only through my experience, do I now understand more deeply the things that realized masters have said. E.g. Robert Adams said something like "stop trying and seeking to be liberated and you will be because you already are". We've imagined our prisons but we are actually already liberated and always have been.

I decided (because it's true!) I already AM Self, it's not something you need to become (or understand in order to become). And because I AM, there is nothing to do but be.

edit: I found this passage a day after writing the initial draft of this post and Robert Adams said the same thing! But giving up was something I was led to by listening to Self. Truth is Truth :)

There is nothing you can think of in this Universe that can tell you what you are. It is beyond words and thoughts. You can never with your ﬁnite mind understand who you are. So do not try to do this. It works in reverse. It is when you actually stop thinking about who you are, or wanting to know who you are, and you stop analyzing, and you stop trying to ﬁgure it out, that the truth about you is revealed. Self-Realization from Silence of the Heart - Robert Adams

Two things I didn't stop doing: observing as the witness consciousness and sitting in silence in the awareness of being. But both "practices" are things I as Self naturally do because it's my very nature! It's not the same as when I used to identify as the ego and did them because I was trying to achieve something. Sitting in silence & stillness is literally my favourite activity now haha. I'm not sure whether to describe witnessing my ego progressively dissolving or merging into Self because both feel correct? Ah but that doesn't matter. Another thing I stopped caring is to label things as well and just let everything be and unfold on its own - there truly is so much peace and beauty in just being Self! I'm only trying to use words to describe this to share with others in case it's helpful for their journeys but of course words are limiting and you can only understand this when you experience it yourself.

There is nothing to get, only just BE. And it is soooo freeing and wonderful once you understand this. Give up on trying to make the mind and ego understand you are Self, that is a fruitless task. Leave them be. Stop trying to make things happen and just let things be. The more you stay in silence with this understanding, the more the light of awareness shines through and the more you will experientially understand this. Allow things to be and happen on their own, including the permanent identification with Self. Have no desires, expectations or judgments and just surrender to the Now. Just keep being Self.

Only look at who you are, over and over and over until it becomes the permanent identification and replaces the ego. - 4dbarbie

Remember to listen to your own Self above all. Everything else is simply a guide to point you towards Self. You are your greatest teacher! So listen to your Self and do what feels right for you.

Your own self is your ultimate teacher, the outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, because he is the goal. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

#diary #writings

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alexiapp · 5 months

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𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐭. 𝟔

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟(Also if you want to be tagged when the next chapters of this series comes out just comment and i will!!)

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞? You thought to yourself, you pulled back from the kiss with regret written all over your face. The blonde in front of you could see your expression clear as day, a thick awkward silence filling the air that could be cut with a knife.

Mapi trying to clear the air opened her mouth, “Maybe we should start hea-“ “Do you want me to leave ? i can leave i’m sorry” you said cutting Mapi off.

You started to get up, from the couch pacing back in forth in nervousness, you thought you’ve really done it this time, You just 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 mapi ! You probably just ruined the only stable thing in your life as of right now, the only friendship that was keeping you up.

“y/n, calm down” the tattooed woman said trying to reason with you, “no, i’m so sorry i can just go ?” you said cutting her off again.

The blonde woman stood up now standing in front of you grabbing your hands rubbing her thumb against your hands.

“Breathe cariño” she said to you locking eye contact with you trying to calm down your rambling

You let in a deep breath closing your eyes then let it out, you opened eyes and looked at the blonde as she opened her mouth

“Now bésame” the blonde said with enthusiasm. “what..?” you said skeptical of Mapi’s words making sure you heard her clearly. “You heard me bésame princesa” she said rather sternly.

You leaned in and kissed her, you guys shared a passionate kiss, you put your hands around her neck and she brought her hands around your waist squeezing your hips.

You let out a groan as moved her head to your neck leaving soft kisses.

You groaned and pushed at Mapi’s chest preventing it from moving to something else.

Mapi pulled back and looked at you and let out heavy breaths, “Sorry i almost got carried away” she said smiling and chuckling lightly.

You titled your head giggling and admiring her beauty. Mapi brought her hands to your face using her thumb to soothe your cheekbones.

The tattooed woman opened her mouth and said “You are so beautiful princesa” you muttered a quiet “thank you” smiling taking your bottom lip into your mouth.

“Do you want to actually finish our movie now” You said, the blonde woman nodding in agreement.

As you to settled down on the couch you both having small talk, you started getting into the conversation of practice. “I think i’m ready to go back to practice” You said looking at Mapi “Wow, are you sure you’re ready, to face your teammates, Alexia even?” She said rambling in worry.

“Mapi, i can’t keep running away from things. I won’t let Alexia be the reason i can’t enjoy a sport i love, i need to face things so i’ll be able to grow”.

Mapi smiled, she could see your growth and she was proud, maybe the therapy session you were having 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 working, she was happy that she was there for that journey.

“Also we need to talk about that kiss Mapi” you said laughing and her joining in.

“We don’t have to talk about it but, i just want us to go slow” You said to her, “We can go as slow as you want as long as it’s with you, we don’t have to label anything” You smiled at Mapi’s thoughtful actions.

“Would you be up for a date with me tomorrow princesa?” Mapi said, You nodded in response and said “yes of course” you said with a smile and giggle.

𝐢 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝟐 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢’𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.

#barca femeni #woso x reader #woso community #ask me stuff #barca #woso imagine #woso fanfics #la reina #mapi leon x reader #alexia putellas one shot #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #fluff #mapi leon #mapi león #woso #woso soccer

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chrollohearttags · 6 months

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idk if u have anymore locked and loaded away but can we get some more musician!eren hcs/traits…just a crumb even. im on the side of the road shaking my cup🙏🏾

oh babes, I got more than I know what to do with. Gather round and I’ll share with you all my never ending lore for the loml. 🤍

EJ is a clown. His favorite pastime outside of music is being an S tier menace. He loves picking at everybody 😭 (y/n), Jean, Mika, his own MAMA..nobody is off limits when he gets started. He is an asshole and proud of it. (he once told Mika she was jealous of him because she was bald headed and he wasn’t. Sis tried to break his nose but then remembered she needed him for a performance that night 😩)

he can play over 10 different instruments and proficiently at that! His main is guitar and drums but he’s naturally gifted so any instrument he puts his hands on, he can learn fairly quickly.

he won’t attend awards shows unless his whole crew is invited too. Don’t matter if it’s the Grammys, BET, VMA’s..if his whole team isn’t there, he’s not going. And they definitely forget it if (y/n) isn’t on the list.

he HAS to have at least an hour before shows to be completely alone and decompress, otherwise, he’ll be messing up all night. He has severe anxiety so it makes it hard for him to concentrate if too much is going on before hand. He’ll spend the time meditating or listening to music and smoking.

his ultimate goal is to one day start his own label. He wants to work with more female artists because he feels there are “a lot of dudes using women for clout but never wanting to put them on.”

also adding to that, Eren swears he is not a dancer but decided to let (y/n) do choreography for his latest song and he ended up liking it so much, that he incorporated it into his latest performance.

(haven’t quite delved into this yet so not giving away too much!) but there is one person who eren credits his musical career to and for pushing him to go for it. His exact quote: “there’s so many people who’ve helped me throughout my journey. That I have to thank for getting me this far but as for who really made this possible? Well..she’s no longer here and I wish she was. I wish she could see how far I’ve come and I only hope that she’s smiling down on me. I hope I made her proud.”

he lovessss sitting in on (y/n)’s practice sessions! Not even on some sexual shit, it truly fascinated him seeing his girl do all of these intricate pole tricks without falling or missing a beat. He realizes how much work goes into learning it and respects your talent. He even posts vids to his Instagram story, showing you off.

during the time of the [p word that shall not be named] he and Armin put their DJ’ing skills to good use and entertained their fans. They started a little thing on Instagram live called “Club Passion” where they would dress up in these cheesy ass fits, pretend they were hosting events and have people join in the live. They’d play music, be drinking and even host twerk contests where they’d CashApp the winner a prize. (A very unserious duo 😭)

for the more devious of the traits, he’s a demon and a half when he drinks. He has zero limits or shame. Including in the bedroom. RIP to (y/n)’s cervix cause he has no control.

he is a habitual bed/headboard breaker 😩🥴 do with that what you will.

he doesn’t believe in cheating or open relationships, but he’ll gladly let you share him with your girls and vice versa. (Niesha’s definitely his favorite but he won’t tell his best friend that 🤭) And if he’s feeling extra deviant, he’ll let you pick a fan of his to do some thangs with. “As long as she doesn’t go running her mouth, I’m with whatever y’all wanna do.” He definitely has a few videos of you guys’ escapades saved in his phone. (the NDA’s stay ready!)

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sacredthethreadgvf · 2 months

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Limelight | Jake Kiszka x Reader | Part 1.

Word Count: 13.7k

Prologue

Chapter Warnings: Smoking the herb, Jakes kind of an asshole, kissing and making out. Slight mentions of poor mental health that could be triggering for some. Mentions of self pleasure (f).

A/N: Thank you for being patient with me while I put this story together for you meticulously. I cannot wait to continue to share this story with everyone and I truly hope you all enjoy the slow burn that is only part 1 of our dear series. Buckle up, we have quite the journey together. I have to give the biggest shout out to @joshym, my dear Elisabeth, this story would truly be nothing without your insight. Thank you for your undying support while I navigate this story and for helping me button it up to share with everyone.

Dear readers, as always, if I have forgotten to add something to my warnings or if there is anything that is triggering, please mention it so I can add such to my warning label.

Enough of me rambling, I hope you enjoy!

****

July 28th

STARCATCHER

Houston, TX.

Your alarm blared wildly at 3 am on a Monday morning to your dismay. You had barely slept unfortunately due to the dread of getting on a plane and meeting your new boss in about 13+ hours. Normally, when you are contracted with a new artist there’s a meet and greet between you to see how you would mesh together, to understand what your new boss is looking for in their assistant, what was a big no and what was a necessity. You took this part of your job very seriously.

When Brian informed you that the boys were already on the road and you could not meet in the safe haven of the office with Brian one seat away from you, your heart sank.

You were going into this new job knowing nothing about your boss other than what you were able to research on your own.

Jake Kiszka. A young guitarist seemingly at the height of his career with his brothers and his friend.

Your flight to Houston had ultimately gone faster than you wanted it to. Your anxiety grows more and more as you watch the time tick by on your phone screen. You tried your best to distract yourself with music and reading but found that trying to force your brain to not think about something only made it mock you and remind you about it more. Once you landed, you were immediately meeting with the band's current assistant Rose, who was coming to pick you up from the airport with a “runner”. You were going to be thrown to the wolves quite literally tonight. There was a show and you were told to be ready to go to the best of your ability.

Grabbing your bags off the carousel you walked to the doors in the busy airport, your lungs begging for fresh air after sitting in a stuffy plane for a few hours now. Stepping out you felt the Houston heat invade all your senses and looked to your left to see a short brown hair girl waving you down with a big smile in front of a white van. That must be Rose.

As you approached closer you got a good look at her features. You could describe her as a cute “mousey” looking girl. Small nose, adorable little smile, and a short bob with bangs which she tried her best to tie up and away from her neck.

“You must be Y/N!” She said, greeting you with a wider smile.

“That would be me!” You smiled back at her.

“Here let me help you with your bags.” You helped her pick up your very full suitcase and lay it in the van. You followed her into it shortly after you got your luggage situated. “Alright Chris, were ready to go!” She said, patting the headrest of the driver's seat. She turned to you and gave you a soft smile.

“So, Y/N! Tell me about yourself. I already know a bit from what Nick told me about you after connecting with your agency but tell me more!”

You softly giggled at the energy Rose was giving off. You knew you two would be fast friends.

“There's not much to tell honestly!” You really hated questions like this.

“Oh cmon, how did you get into the industry!” She sat a little closer to you as the van made a sharp turn.

“Let's just say my love for music really attracted me to this career choice. I have zero musical talent but I do love being around it. So I figured I would settle for the fun life of knowing what goes on backstage and working with artists one on one.”

“Ah, you're chasing after the limelight huh?” Rose grinned at you.

“The limelight scares me.” You both laugh.

After a few beats of silence and a quiet moment of watching the bustling city streets from your window Rose spoke up again. “You'll love the boys. They really are the most genuine down to earth men I have ever had the pleasure of working with. And you'll love Jake,” She winked at you once she had your attention. “He's a looker and a sweetheart.”

You blushed a bit thinking back to your wine fueled night when you went down a spiral into Greta Van Fleet on the internet.

“So,” Rose pulled out a little notebook. “Your main focus is Jake tonight, don't let any of the other boys try and con you into helping them out, they're probably going to ask you to do some ridiculous favors just to test you and get under your skin. Especially Joshua.” She rolled her eyes and smirked.

“I thought you said they were all sweethearts.” You snorted.

“They are, but they also all have an affinity for trouble. It seems to follow them everywhere.” She giggled. “I'll try to introduce you to Jake when we get to the venue and he can take it from there. I do apologize I cannot show you around much, we are a couple of hours away from the show now and my attention needs to be on Joshua as he can be quite the diva.”

You raised your eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes. “Don't ask.”

***

You had a brief moment to drop your bags off at one of the tour buses, which you watched immediately get placed into one of the compartment bins on the side. ‘There goes the promise of a shower and a comfy bed tonight’ You thought to yourself. You were running behind Rose attempting to keep up with her speed walking through the back doors of the venue into the noisy white brick halls, clearly on a mission.

“Were later than expected,” Rose said, her tone alarming as she glanced at her phone. “Were already past soundcheck, gosh I hope it went okay.” She muttered to herself.

“Here I got you a pass so you don't get thrown out of the venue.” Her tone lightened a bit but you could still see a hint of anxiety in her eyes. “You could easily pass off as one of the boys’ fans and we cant have security throwing out a newbie on day one.”

You took the little lithograph pass and hung the lanyard from your neck observing its intricate details in the picture. Rose had then given you her phone number and directed you to sit in a dressing room and wait to meet Jake, she apologized profusely that she had to go run off to tend to Josh and you waved her off, understanding that you were the one that was in the way today.

Sitting on the little loveseat in the room you took your time to observe your surroundings. The typical food and drink set up in an artist's dressing room caught your eye. So he likes wine, you noted that to yourself for future reference. You noted the neatly placed hairbrush, dyson air wrap, little make up bag. Your eyes finally settled on the silver suit hanging from the back of one of the doors in the room. You pulled your phone out of your little bag and sent a text to your roommate and parents letting them know you at least made it to the venue and you would catch up with them at a later time as you now had to prepare yourself for work mode.

Your silent moment was interrupted as a tall gentleman who you recognized as the boys’ manager Nick, walked through the door followed by the young guitarist himself. They clearly were in the middle of cracking a joke back and forth as the sound of laughter filled up the once peaceful room.

“Miss Y/N!” Nick waved towards you with a gesture. “Glad to see you made it here in one piece! Thank you for coming on such short notice, I understand this is moving quite quickly for you. Probably more than you're used to, no?”

You stood from your spot and extended your hand to shake Nicks. “It's no problem at all. I am a fast learner.”

“Love to hear that!” He stepped aside briefly and gestured towards the other man occupying the room. “And here is Jake!”

Jake. Everything you didn't expect and more, although you shouldn't have been surprised. You had only seen photos of Jake on stage when you were doing your “homework”. As you two got closer to one another, his bergamot cologne overpowered your senses but not in an unpleasant way. He was dressed casually. Almost too casually. A cut off shirt with another button down and jacket laid on top and a pair of way too baggy slacks hanging off of him and a pair of sunglasses hiding his eyes from your view. His hair having a slight wave to it hung from his head.

“Hello Y/N.” He smiled softly at you and extended his hand out for you to shake. You just met the man and yet you already loved the way your name sounded coming from his mouth.

“Hi.” You heard your own voice squeak in your ears. Why am I like this? You internally rolled your eyes at yourself.

“Well,” Nick said. “I will leave you both to it. Show time soon Jake. Be ready.”

Jake nodded and saluted Nick as he walked out the door leaving you both alone. Timidly you watched as Jake waltzed around the dressing room comfortably, grabbing a corkscrew and picking up a bottle of wine from the selection displayed on a table in front of him.

“You drink?” He asked as he began to pour himself a gracious cup of the red liquid.

“Uh, yeah I do sometimes.”

“Would you like a glass?” He reached across the table in front of him to grab another plastic cup and gestured to you.

You waved him off immediately, “Oh no, no I'm okay thank you.”

“Cmon, have a bit of wine with me. It's customary when I meet someone to break into a bottle.” His sunglasses still hide his full face from your view.

“Maybe another time,” You sat down on the couch in the room and pulled a notepad out from your back pocket with a pen. “What do you need me to do for you tonight?”

Jake's eyebrows raised. “Suit yourself I guess.” He approached the vanity opposite where you were sitting and leaned back against it, one ankle crossing over the other.

“I suppose since we don't have much time I will get myself ready tonight as usual.” You could almost hear the hint of distaste in his mouth.

You watched his Adam's apple bob as he took a big gulp of wine. “I'll just need help with side stage stuff.” His eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you writing that down?”

While his tone had a hint of curiosity you easily picked up on the scoff that passed his lips. What a prick..

“Just want to make sure I dont forget anything important is all. That a problem?” You challenged.

You watched as his eyebrows rose slightly over his sunglasses. “No.”

“So what is it that you need assistance with at the side stage this evening Mr.Kiszka.”

He smirked slightly. “Just need to make sure my towels are swapped out every few songs, make sure I have water nearby, and make sure this,” He gestured across the room to the display of wine. “To stay pretty full at all times.”

“Seems simple enough.” Your pen lifted off of the paper. “Anything else?”

Jake shook his head no and smirked at you. “Wanna read that list back to me or what?”

What a douche..

“I'm good thanks. Hey, you good here for a moment? I want to go grab something from my bag on the bus.”

He took another gulp of wine and you watched as his demeanor changed. “All good.”

You felt like you couldn't get out of that room fast enough, your anxiety taking over. But for what? Why exactly were you feeling like this? Was it the fact that you felt like you couldn't handle the workload given to you? The very minimal workload at that. That couldn't be the case. You had done so much more before this job, juggling multiple members of bands before as a stagehand. Maybe it had something to do with the rather attractive guitarist that you were now working for.

No no, stop thinking like that you just met him

He definitely was not what you had expected to be in person.

***

The countdown for show time came faster than you really wanted it to. You felt like you weren't even close to being prepared for what was ahead of you for the evening. Rose met back up with you again and pulled you along with her to the greenroom where the rest of the band had gathered to say a little prayer before walking to the stage. You picked up on a few things that were said, “May Josh's vocals shine bright, may Jake's guitar never fail, may Danny's drums not break, and let's pray that Sam's bass and mellotron carry us along for a journey.”

“Alright boys!” Rose said rather loudly next to you. “Time for stage!”

You were not yet prepared for all eyes landing on you at once and for some reason it made you feel rather small all at once.

“Boys, this is Y/N! Jake's new assistant. Be nice, we want to keep her around.” Rose gestured to you. You watched as chocolate eyes all were focused on you.

“Hey Y/N!” Everyone but Jake said in unison.

“This is Josh, Danny and Sam. You will have more time to chit chat and get to know them later on,” Rose said. “For right now, we are cutting it a bit too close for comfort so lets get a move on!”

Following the boys, security and Rose through the hallway that led to the venue you could hear the screams of anticipation in the background mixed in with the sound of classical music. You could feel a hint of nervousness and tension fill the air as the boys got their cue to enter the stage. This venue was huge, bigger than the ones you were used to seeing. The sound of screams from loyal fans going up an octave once they saw the boys enter the stage which prompted the rest of the venue to follow suit.

Nothing at all could have mentally prepared you for this moment, nor the events that followed.

***

Everything had gone terribly wrong.

You had managed to miss every one of Jake's stage cues. To your defense though, you didn't even know what those cues even were or what he had wanted. To further your frustration and embarrassment, you even had a roadie get mad at you and take over grabbing Jake a fresh towel and placing it within reach for Jake. By the time Jake had come off the main stage to go to B Stage in the back of the venue, he was glaring at you.

“Why don't you just go sit in the dressing room, you're clearly just in the way!”

You wanted nothing more than to hide away but Rose had come up to you after watching the little incident between you and Jake and encouraged you to stay, just stand stage side on the main stage and let Jake breathe it out. Your heart had been beating wildly in your chest and you couldn't wait for the show to finish to have a moment to yourself.

Rounding the corner your mind felt like it was a mess, buzzing away at a rapid pace with anxious thoughts. Were you made out for this? Smaller bands it was a breeze helping out and working for them, but this felt bigger than you anticipated. Jake seemed to get more and more frustrated with you as the show went on until that moment before the encore. You're praying to the heavens that your face doesn't give away the fact that you were crying, thankful you had packed your mascara into your little purse you had.

Backstage was buzzing with people. Everyone was currently packing up bins and rolling them to the buses, others shouting orders to one another and pointing in many different directions. The chaos was unnerving compared to earlier before the show. Walking down a long hallway you passed through a few curtains hung up for privacy between the dressing rooms when you heard him.

“This might have been a mistake.” Jake softly spoke to someone. “She managed to ruin every single thing that I needed tonight.”

Just let it go, you thought to yourself. It’s not worth getting upset over. He just had a long night.

You just tried to keep yourself busy, helping out in any way you could that didn’t leave you in everyone’s way.

But just as you had decided to pretend as though you were oblivious to his harsh words, it was what he said next that had you throwing that sentiment clear out of the window.

“I mean, Jesus. You’d have to be some kind of an idiot to not be able to handle something so simple.”

Idiot?

That was most definitely not going to sit comfortably with you. At that point, it wasn’t about “letting it go,” it suddenly became necessary to defend yourself to your new boss who felt the need to say such horrid things about you on your first fucking night.

Your eyes burned with tears of frustration and exhaustion after your long day. You burst through the black curtain and marched up to Jake.

“First of all, I just fucking got here and had no time to adjust to anything or learn anything about you or what you needed or where to find it.” Your arms crossed in front of your chest. “Second off we don't even know each other and you expect me to know you like the back of your hand? New flash Jake, I dont. So don't just blow me away and throw me to the curb because of one bad night and give me a damn chance.” Your chest was practically heaving by the time you were done speaking. Both Jake and the roadies eyes were wide as saucers staring at you.

Jake's mouth opened a few times but no words came out.

“How about instead of undermining me we sit down and actually talk about what you need from me and how I can actually do my job and in a week if I dont ‘have a grasp’ on anything and Im still fucking up? I'll leave you without a word and you won't have to hear from me again. Deal?”

The roadie Jake was speaking to failed to cover up a laugh with a fake cough and you shot him a glare. He glanced briefly at Jake whose eyes were locked on you with an unreadable expression and then turned away and left you two alone.

“Y/N, I-” Jake seemed to find his voice just as you started to walk away.

“Save it.” You shot back at him over your shoulder and muttered under your breath. “Fucking prick.”

Walking through the same black curtain you had burst through not moments ago you collided with someone who must've been standing close by. “Oh my god Im so sor-”

“That, that was fucking awesome.” Frontman Josh Kiszka himself was grinning wildly at you.

Your heart leapt out of your throat. “Jesus! Eavesdropping much?” You clenched a hand to your chest.

Josh laughed and wrapped an arm around your shoulder and began to lead you down the hallway, far away from Jake. “No one other than myself or my other brothers really stand up to Jakey boy. You're really giving him a run for his money. I like you!” He flashed you a wide grin.

“Im s-so sorry,” You stuttered. “That was so unprofessional of me to say-”

“No! It was not unprofessional, dont worry about it.” Josh's arm dropped from your shoulder. “Trust me, he's been such a prick these last few weeks he really needed someone to stick it to him other than his own family.”

You weren't listening to Josh and you were letting your anxiety get the best of you for the second time tonight. You could not lose another client due to a complication. As much as your boss stuck it out for you, you knew he was also not thrilled with your recent issues with the last band you worked with.

You broke away from Josh and sat in a rouge chair in one of the hallways and held your head in your hands to shield the tears that were beginning to bubble up again in your throat.

“Hey, Y/N right? That's your name?” Josh asked, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You nodded but refused to look up at him until he pulled your hands back from your face. “Give him some time. Like you suggested, just have the sit down with him and figure out what the hell he needs from you. But maybe save it for tomorrow? No offense, but you look like shit.”

You huffed a laugh and wiped the rouge tear that slipped down your cheek. “Gee, thanks.”

“Just trying to lighten the mood,” Josh's voice rang like a song and you felt him reach for your hands. “You seem like you've had quite the day my dear. Here, let me show you to the tour bus and your bunk! I'm assuming you will be riding with us since you're going to be hitched to Jake.”

“Your assumptions are correct, unfortunately.” You gave him a soft smile to which he returned.

“My twin definitely has quite the temper sometimes, let me tell you.” Josh sucked a breath between his teeth. “But I promise he's nice. Underneath all the mystery he likes to pretend he holds, he's easy going.”

“You're twins?” You were surprised.

“I'm five minutes older so I'm superior.” He threw you a wink.

“A superior pain in the ass.” Jake's voice rang out behind the two of you. Your breath caught in your throat again as you took a glance at the man who you had raised your voice at not nearly 15 minutes prior.

He had apparently showered in a short span of time and his hair was dripping onto his soft beige button up he was now sporting. His eyes were hidden by the same pair of sunglasses from earlier and you watched as he slung the backpack he was carrying over his shoulder.

“Don't you have somewhere else to be?” Josh rolled his eyes. “Come now Y/N, were almost there.”

“Don't go stealing my assistant now.” Jake shot back at his twin and Josh just shook his head. Clearly there was some twin telepathy that you were missing as you felt the tension between the two rise.

For a moment there was uncomfortable silence held between the three of you and you did not have the heart to speak up. That silence was quickly broken by the sound of diesel engines roaring in the distance and the footsteps of the twins as you walked in between them. Your arms crossed against your chest again, a sign of defensiveness and protection around the strangers you had just met only hours prior. You three walked through a wide entrance into a huge garage lined with at least 8 buses. Chaos was ahead as you watched workers and roadies buzz about getting things packed into different compartments and wheeled to their respective places.

Jake's pace sped up and he weaseled his way around you and Josh who were now walking side by side. You watched as Jake got on one of the tour buses and disappeared deeper into it without another word to either of you or the workers around.

Josh sighed next to you and grabbed your hand briefly and you both stopped walking. “Listen, if he gives you a lot of trouble, come find me. Or Sam. Or Danny. We will keep Jake in check. You seem like a really nice girl and already a great addition to the team. Don't let him get under your skin. He will come around.”

“But Josh, you barely know me. I feel like I messed up big tonight and-”

Josh held a hand up to stop you from talking which you obeyed. “I don't believe that. Give yourself a chance. I can tell you have the vigor and the right attitude to do this job and I expect we will see great things from you. Plus we have all the time in the world to get to know each other” He winked at you and bumped you with his elbow.

“Thank you Josh.” You smiled softly.

“Anytime.” He held his arms open for a hug which you graciously accepted. “Now let's get you settled on the bus yeah?”

***

July 29th.

Denver, CO.

You awoke to the sound of multiple voices talking back and forth and the sound of shuffling feet and bags. The clear ring of Josh's laugh falling through the tight hallway of the tour bus bunks. You rubbed your eyes and reached for your phone out of the side pocket of the bunk.

10:44 AM

Your moment of peace in your secluded bunk was disrupted by a small pull on the drapes of your bunk and you shielded your eyes from the bright light coming from the overhead lights.

“Rise and shine sleepy head,” Rose smiled at you softly. “Duty awaits.”

Rose was gracious enough to re-close the drapes to your bunk to shield you from the prying eyes of anyone walking past to exit the bus. You quickly gathered your water bottle phone and charger and pulled the curtains back, still feeling groggy and not processing your surroundings. You realized pretty quickly that having a moment to sit in peace and quiet was not an option as you made eye contact with Jake's reflective sunglasses lenses and Danny's smirk, the aisle of people sitting at a stand still similar to the aisle of a plane.

“Well well, looks like someone got a good night's sleep.” Danny said, smiling at you and gesturing to your head.

You felt your hair with your hands, a clear rat's nest on one side of your head and then noticed the feeling of drool on the side of your mouth. Your eyes widened, horrified and you pulled the curtain closed again to hide from the men standing eye level right next to you. An absolutely horrifying experience as you heard the two giggle and mutter something along the lines of ‘I remember when I used to crash in bus bunks like that.’ ‘I remember when I had my first real night's sleep.’

You wished at that moment that you could curl up and cease to exist.

What a way to start a day.

Voices and the sound of feet got further away in a few moments and you peeked your head out of the curtain and saw the coast was clear enough for you to finally crawl out of your tour bus coffin and seize the day ahead of you.

After gathering your necessities and locating your bookbag tucked away in a random corner on a couch, you walked off the bus which was located in a back parking lot of a hotel and you were met with Rose once again awaiting your arrival. “Here, I grabbed your suitcase for you. I'm sorry, I should've told you to keep your book bag stocked last night, at least for small items like your hairbrush for the bus. That was my fault.”

You grimaced as you were trying to work out the knots in your hair with your fingers. “It's no worries, I think I was too tired to properly function anyways yesterday to even consider it.”

“Get used to it kiddo,” She began walking towards the hotel. “You will have to learn how to thrive on no sleep with these hooligans. They will surely give you a run for your money.”

“Were not all that terrible!” Danny had caught up with you and Rose.

“That might be the best joke I have heard all week!” Rose said.

Danny covered his heart with his hand. “I'm wounded Rose, I'm wounded real deep.”

Rose rolled her eyes and looked back at you as she approached the front doors of the hotel. “I already gathered everyone's room keys and checked the team in, something one day you and I will hopefully switch off on because it can be a lot of work.” You watched Danny grab a hotel key from Rose's hand, you weren't even sure where she pulled it from.

“You will be rooming with me for most of this tour so we can assist each other with duties. Even though you primarily work with Jake it will be easier for me to help you with things from time to time to make sure we are all on the same page with the band.”

You nodded at her in agreement and followed her into the hotel elevator.

“I wanted to apologize for last night. I really did throw you to the wolves and that was my fault. I told Jake to come by our room in about an hour so we can sit down and discuss your duties in further detail so what happened last night doesn't happen again.” She threw you an apologetic look as you grimaced.

“I feel bad about last night.” The elevator dinged announcing your arrival onto your designated floor.

“Seriously Y/N, don’t. Shit was all whacky and all over the place and you had no clue what to expect. I should've had you shadowing someone, I should've had you shadowing me for the night so you could see how the boys work. I blame myself for this one.”

You arrived at your room and Rose swiped the keycard for entry. The room was modest, two queen beds, tv, little desk and table in the corner and bathroom. The beds white linens looked rather inviting for a nap later on if you had the time to take it. Just as both of you were getting settled into the room, you for a shower and Rose unpacking a few of her personal items you heard her sigh rather loudly.

You paused what you were doing, “What's up?”

“Hmm? Oh nothing,” Her head softly shook. “Just Josh needing a multitude of things. I will be back shortly, I must go tend to the king of vocals.”

You both laughed. “Enjoy your shower!” She said, and with that she was out the door and you were left alone in peace.

Your shower was not living up to your standards with the dang water pressure being practically nothing but the warmth of the water, the smell of your favorite soap, and the normalcy of your shower routine put a satisfied smile on your face.

Hopping out, you wiped some of the steam that had collected on the mirror and stared at yourself. Thank goodness for showers giving you and your hair a fresh start. That rat's nest had been worse than you expected this morning on the side of your head, understandable why the boys smirked at you.

You heard a soft knock at the door, assuming it was Rose you didn't bother to put on any clothes and just clung the towel closer to your body. Unfortunately for you, when the door swung open you were met with the young guitarist whose eyes seemed to bug out of his head at the sight of you wrapped in a skimpy white towel.

“Oh my god I am so sorry,” You panicked and pulled the towel tighter around yourself. “I thought you were Rose.”

Jake cleared his throat and attempted to maintain eye contact with you. “It's, uh, its not a problem.”

“Uh, come on in, I just need to grab some clothes really quick.”

You stepped aside to let Jake into your room, heart in your throat out of embarrassment that your new boss has seen you in your current state. You quickly grabbed a tshirt and leggings from your bag while Jake made himself comfortable at a little table that was in the room, pulling out a notebook and setting it in front of himself. You locked yourself back in the bathroom and took a deep breath to ground yourself.

You made your way out of the bathroom to find Jake now across the room looking out of the window at the view of Denver, Colorado and its bustling streets below. His damn outfit makes your head feel fuzzy. His half unbuttoned shirt half tucked in his pants.

“Hey.” You said softly.

Jake turned around and you watched as his wandering eyes traveled across your now fully clothed body, briefly meeting yours as his lips curled in the smallest, barely there smirk. “Hello,” he uttered, the corner of his mouth still upturned.

“Listen, I want to apologize for raising my voice at you yesterday. I totally understand if you want to drop me as your assistant, that was highly unprofessional of me .”

Jake waved you off quickly. “No, it was unprofessional of me to even be talking that way about you. If anything, I’m the one who should be sorry. You were right, I haven't even given you a chance.” He gave you a soft smile, his chestnut eyes glimmering as they peered into yours. “How about we start over. Forget about last night, yeah?”

“I think I’d be okay with that.” You gave him a soft smile back, finding it hard not to at his contagious charm.

“Great,” he says, offering you a firm hand for a more professional greeting.“Hello I am Jake,”

“Hi Jake, Im Y/N.” You took his hand in yours, fighting back a giggle as the blush began to rise on your cheeks. The goosebumps instantly began to prickle your skin at the feeling of his touch. You gasped softly at your own body's reaction and tried to cover it up. You were unsure if you were successful or not but Jake did not acknowledge it so you were hopeful.

“Y/N, it is nice to meet you. I look forward to working together.” He gave you a wide toothy grin now which naturally, you should've guessed, was breathtaking.

No wait, stop. Don't think like that. This is your boss, your job. Remain professional dammit..

Jake gestured to the table behind you, “Why don't we get started.”

You nodded and grabbed your own notebook, pen and planner from your bookbag and joined Jake at the little table.

“I'll go easy on you I swear.” He flashed you another dazzling smile, this time with an added wink and a sweet chuckle under his breath. Why God..why..

“Rose might have some more things for you, I know she's excited there will be someone else around to assist but you are first and foremost my assistant so you'll be handling my things primarily and then I may share you with the rest of the crew as needed. You okay with that?”

You clicked your pen, “Of course!”

“Fantastic.” He opened up his little notebook which had a little bullet point list written down. You glanced at it and were able to read out most of it but averted your eyes out of respect. You didn't want him to think you were nosey. At least not yet.

“I know we already talked about most of this last night so it may be repetitive, my apologies for that. I'll keep things pretty simple for you and just reiterate some things,” Jake wiped the corner of his mouth. “Pre shows Im just looking for help with getting ready. Making sure my suits are ready to go, my boots that I need are clean of scuffs. Might need help with make up here and there,” He cleared his throat. “Just some eyeliner nothing fancy like Josh. Maybe some things with my hair but I'm not sure.”

“I can definitely help you explore some ideas.” You gave him a soft smile that he returned.

“Rose usually handles the food and drinks and making sure the venues have everything we need, I'm not sure if she wants to keep it that way or not but we will have to ask her.”

“Might be easier for her too but yes, we will discuss.” You said.

Jake turned a page in his little book, “Okay now on stage stuff, I know you also got a brief idea of what that would be for me.”

You grimaced slightly at the memory of Jakes harsh tone at last nights show telling you to ‘fuck off’ when you were so clearly in his way and not helping. At least now that you're sitting down, hopefully that won't happen again.

“Basically I just need those fresh towels ready, need my drinks to stay topped off like I mentioned, making sure the roadies follow the schedule for which guitar for which song, yada yada. Making sure I have guitar picks ready to go.” He paused to turn the page again and read down the list. “Then I guess just tending to my basic requests throughout the tour. I promise I'm really not that high on maintenance even if it didn't seem that way last night.” He gave you another soft smile.

“This is all very doable for me. My only request is to keep an open communication with me and work with me, not against me if things go a little haywire while I get used to the flow of your tour.”

Jake nodded. “Deal.”

“So I guess Rose is not making this little meeting of ours.” You giggled softly and began packing up your notebook and pen.

“I'm not surprised,” Jake said, mirroring your actions. “Josh can be very demanding of attention you'll learn that pretty quickly.”

You giggled. “I think I already have.”

***

August 4th.

STARCATCHER

Seattle, WA.

“Damn, you really have some dedicated fans.” You said, looking out the van window at the fans lined up on the street along the venue.

Jake pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. “We really do, they're awesome.”

You subconsciously twisted the rings on your fingers in your lap from the feeling of anxiety creeping up in your throat. Jake was the biggest artist that you have worked for so far. Even after your conversation with him the other day where he laid out everything he needed from you in detail once again, you still felt unsure about how tonight would go.

You felt Jake's hand on your shoulder pulling you back to reality. “You okay over there? You're a million miles away.”

You glanced over at him and smiled softly, “Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just a little nervous I guess.”

“No need to be Y/N, things will go smoothly! I promise not to be an asshole tonight.” You both shared a soft laugh.

Things did not in fact go smoothly…

When you and Jake had initially arrived at the venue you were met with a very frazzled looking Rose and others bustling around.

“Rose, what the fuck is going on?” Jake had sat her down on the couch in one of the green rooms. Josh on the opposite end of the couch, threw his arm around her for comfort as tears streamed down her face. Across the room Sam and Danny stood unusually quiet and still.

“One of the runners,” She blew her nose. “Dropped off your stage outfits at the dry cleaners too late and I don't know if we will even have your stage outfits ready to go, let alone everything else adding up. Were missing mic packs somewhere and-and..” She hiccuped. Across the room you saw Danny give Sam a slight nudge with his elbow.

“Okay deep breaths Rose Bud, remember like we practiced the other day?” Josh said, pulling her closer to him. “We will get this figured out. Don't forget Y/N is here, maybe she can help out a bit.”

“Yeah, Y/N can help out.” Jake spoke up, volunteering you. “I don't really have much on my list today and I don't need her until later.”

Rose sniffled and looked up at you. “Would you be able to help?”

All eyes were on you and the panic you felt in the van crept back up in your throat. “Yeah, uh yes I can see what I can do.”

Rose jumped up off the couch and gave you a tight hug, “Oh thank the heavens!”

Shortly after Rose had calmed down a bit, everyone dispersed for the most part. You followed closely behind Sam and Danny as they exited the green room. You picked up on their quiet whispers shared between each other as you turned the corner, your presence apparently going unnoticed.

“Dude, you gotta go get those mic packs.” Danny whispered, bumping Sam with his elbow like he did in the green room.

“I know, I know!” Sam responded, squeezing past a few dolly boxes. “I have to go dig them out from my case.”

“Okay,” You spoke up. “So am I to assume that you two had something to do with the disappearance of those mic packs?” Both of the boys' heads turned quickly in your direction and their eyes grew wide. They had been caught.

“I do not know what you are talking about Y/N.” Danny gave you a sly grin, turning around to face you.

You rolled your eyes, “Of course not. You know, you two have some impeccable timing it seems.”

“Well it's not like we knew everything would go to shit today!” Sam threw his hands up defensively. You couldn't contain your giggle as a smile broke across both of their faces.

“You two are terrible and you're officially on my radar,” You pushed on both of their shoulders lightly. “Lets go get them. At least then maybe Rose will stop crying.”

To your luck, the boys had not so sneakily hid the mic packs in plain sight in Sam's wardrobe case and you had them returned to Rose who swore up and down that you were a good luck charm. She had directed you to give them to Dale who was managing sound and tech for the shows. Walking through a little passageway you made your way into the arena where the beeping sounds of heavy machinery seemed to bounce off the ceilings. Techies and roadies alike were bustling around hanging lights, hooking up mechanicals and wires. The stage was being built and even chairs were already being set up on the floor. You had found Dale pretty quickly who seemed relieved to see the mic packs in your hands and thanked you before turning back to a few other workers and continuing directing them on where things will be going.

You took a moment before reentering the winding halls of Denver's Ball Arena to admire how big the venue was from where you stood on the floor. You couldn't begin to imagine playing to an arena packed full of people like this night after night. The empty seats reaching as high as the ceiling made your stomach churn at the thought of sitting up that high. You wondered how many people would pack in tonight to see the boys play their music. You then noticed a small movement out of the corner of your eye as you panned the rest of the arena in awe.

Was that? No..

Your lips separated with a low gasp. Jake was running. He must've been doing laps around the arena. You stood frozen in your spot watching him closely as he rounded the corner of the venue furthest away from you. His hair was tied back in a low bun against his neck, he had abandoned his usual attire and was sporting a pair of running shorts (something you couldn't picture him wearing) and the skin of his bare torso so clearly glistening in the lighting from the sweat on his body.

You hadn't realized how hard you had been staring until he rounded the corner and was running towards you. He smirked at you as you locked eyes and your heart leapt in your chest at the realization that you had been caught ogling him. You quickly turned on your heel before he got any closer and booked it down the hall.

What the hell is wrong with me..snap out of it..

“See something you like?” You heard his voice ring out behind you. Cocky bastard.

You turned around and looked at Jake, it was even worse having him up close to you now. Subconsciously you waited until he caught up to you to continue walking down the hall.

“Cat got your tongue or something?” He smirked at you as he wiped his sweaty face with a towel. His cologne became ever more powerful as it was radiating off of his hot skin. It was intoxicating. The scents of bergamot and vanilla create a sensual aroma that clouded your mind. Your mouth ran dry and you tried so hard not to steal glances at his sweaty chest. You probably looked like an idiot screaming at yourself mentally to respond to him.

“What would you like for lunch Jake?” You cleared your throat finally. “Anything specific you like for your post run ritual?”

“Mmm, a hot shower.”His tone caught you off guard.

Was he doing this on purpose?

You took a chance and looked his way and you caught what you thought was the tail end of a wink sent towards you. Was he fucking flirting with me? No, no…no way.

He let out a booming laugh, “I just usually have some sort of chicken wrap. Rose should have it already somewhere if you don't mind grabbing that for me.” He wiped the back of his neck and let his hair down as you two got closer to his designated dressing room.

“Sure.”

His fingers grazed your lower back as you cut the corner to the dressing room and your skin felt like it was on fire.

***

The rest of the day ended up running a lot more smoothly than the morning did. Rose was able to get the dry cleaners to expedite the cleaning of the stage outfits and they were back at the venue right as the boys finished their soundcheck and you and Rose hastily worked together to get Josh's jumpsuits laid out for the evening after hanging up suits in other dressing rooms. You had written down a small list in your phone of everything you needed for Jake to have a smooth show tonight.

Towels by his guitar case. Check.

One towel on the amp. Check.

Check with Tim to make sure Jakes guitars are all tuned and ready. Check.

Snacks and drinks in the dressing room. Check.

Wine bottles in guitar case. Check.

Water. Big check.

You felt really prepared for tonight and mentally ready for his cues on stage. Luckily for you, Jake said he had a handle on getting himself ready for tonight and you found him laughing along with something Danny and Sam had apparently said as you walked into the green room for final checks before the walk to the stage.

“Alright boys!” Rose clapped her hands together. “Everyone has their wireless packs all charged and ready to go?”

Everyone nodded collectively.

“Let's have a show!”

***

August 10th

STARCATCHER

Los Angeles, CA.

The morning had gone smoothly thanks to your multiple alarms set to ring every 5 minutes no matter how many times you snoozed them. You were exhausted. Everyone was exhausted actually. The last week of what felt like back to back shows, sleeping in tour bus bunks and arriving at venues, the first thing at the crack of dawn was catching up to everyone. You wanted nothing more than to keep your head buried underneath the soft white linens of the hotel bed sheets with the AC blasting on full, but duty calls and you had to get your adult child to the venue sooner rather than later. Rose of course was up at the crack of dawn and out of the room already tending to the frontman of the band who unfortunately for her, was an early riser regardless of the time he went to bed the night before.

As you did your morning routine and applied some concealer underneath your eyes you were thanking the universe that you were heading home tomorrow. Just one more day, you thought. One more show after this and I can sleep in my own bed and shower in my own home.

Getting yourself moving in the morning was not bad after you had a few sips of your favorite caffeinated drink, however, getting Jake moving in the morning was another thing. He had a tendency to sleep in until the last moment possible. Not to mention actually getting him ready and out of the hotel room on time was like trying to put a coat on a toddler, near to impossible without some sort of fight. Yet, to your surprise today, he was already up and waiting for you to meet him. He had even called a runner for you two already and was waiting with a breakfast sandwich ready to go.

“When the hell did you get this?” You asked Jake as you buckled up in the white van.

“Shortly after I woke up and decided I was hungry.” He smirked.

You rolled your eyes and decided not to press any further. Thankfully, it seemed as if everything at the venue was in working order. You and Rose caught up on administrative things for the band throughout the day, made sure everyone had their plane tickets booked and ready to go for a quick and easy trip home to Nashville tomorrow. Naturally of course, just because the morning and afternoon had gone smoothly, this meant something had to go haywire before the show.

Rose had finished Josh and Sams make up for the night. You had been giggling to yourself listening to Josh and Sam. You officially learned what a “Rhinestone Diary” was as the bands social media manager, Kaiya, helped put it together. While the Rhinestone Diary offered a moment of fun for a few, for others, tensions were high after so many shows. Lack of sleep and being cooped up together for a period of time was really taking a toll on everyone's emotions.

You were typing away on your computer next to the main green room meant for the band to hang out when raised voices pulled you out of your focus.

“Thats fucking stupid!”

“Jake,” Josh raised his voice. “You cant just make changes like that last fucking minute because you dont want to play Frozen Light.”

“Jake,” Rose spoke softly. “We already sent out the setlist to the sounds and light guys.”

“Okay and?” He snapped. “It's not the first time we've made a last minute change.” Your typing paused and you closed the lid on your laptop.

“Were not fucking playing Highway Tune!” Josh practically screamed. You had never heard Josh raise his voice that loud. You had heard stories of how bad fights between the Kiszkas could get before but nothing could have prepared you for witnessing it in real time.

You had abandoned your laptop and you leaned up against the door frame just as Jake seemed to be exiting the room.

“Fucking selfish prick you know that,” He turned around and looked at Josh. “You know this is just as much my band as it is yours, its called fucking compromise.”

“It's not much of a compromise when we completely change something that I do not want!” Josh's arms crossed and Jake glared at Josh, you and Rose.

Greaaat, now I'm caught in the crossfire.

“What fucking ever.” Jake threw his hands up and brushed past you in the door frame. He began walking down the short hallway towards his dressing room before turning to you. “You coming?”

Without a word you pushed off the door frame and walked over towards him. Your arms had been crossed against your chest in defense from the rising tensions between the boys. Following Jake closely you watched as he yanked his jacket off and set down on the chair in front of his mirror, he seemed defeated.

Your arms uncrossed, “Anything I can do for you Jake?”

“Uh, yeah, I could use some help with my eyeliner pencil,” He let out a breath. “Im shaking so damn bad I can't sharpen the thing.”

You nodded your head and dug through the little makeup bag that was set aside for Jake specifically and located the little black eyeliner pencil that was more than halfway used. The sound of you sharpening the little pencil was the only noise that you heard in the room as you felt Jake observing you.

Unfortunately for you, the soft tip of the pencil kept crumbling in the sharpener as you kept twisting it and twisting it.

“Fuck.” You muttered and felt Jake's eyes glance up at you. “God dammit.” You muttered again as the tip broke for the third time.

“That's the only one I have, stop sharpening it!” Jake snapped at you.

“It's fine Jake we're going home in a day or so, we can get another one.” You kept sharpening the pencil.

“Youre fucking wasting it!” He snapped at you again. This time, he had snatched the pencil and the sharpener out of your hand. “Just go fucking get my phone charger off the bus Y/N.”

“Huh?”

“Go fucking get my charger from the bus. Its not that fucking hard to follow directions.”

You instantly recoiled at his raised voice and your head dropped, you felt like you haad fucked up again. When you took a chance to glance at Jake his back was turned to you and your shoulders slumped. You watched as he examined the pencil in his hands and then threw it forcefully into the garbage can across the room.Great, there I go again. It was a usual occurrence for you to blame yourself for others emotions even if you were not consciously aware of it.

The walk to the tour bus gave you a breath of fresh air at least and allowed you to clear your mind.

By the time you got back into the arena it was already showtime and the boys had been walked to the stage by security. You plugged Jake's phone in and set it on the vanity in the green room, briefly glancing at his notifications but not trying to pay any real attention to them as you saw a list of texts and a few other notifications. Not my business….

Grabbing a bottle of Cabernet off of a nearby table you began your descent to the stage just as you heard the opening lines of what you quickly learned as The Falling Sky and slowed your stride. You knew Jake was angry but you hated that the anger was directed towards you. He had no right to take his frustrations out on something that you didn't cause and you made a mental note to put him in his place another time. Right now, your focus and your job was on Jake putting on a good show for his fans.

Walking up to the side of the stage you checked in with Brian, Jakes “right hand” roadie, that all of his guitars were ready along with additional strings and made a note to tell Rose that you needed more nylon strings for Jakes acoustic as he had already broke a few since the last few shows. Standing near the side stage you observed as the crowd went wild for any little movement the boys seemed to make. Josh's voice echoing like siren through the venue echoing off the same walls you had observed in other venues still made your heart stand still

These boys had talent, talent beyond comprehension, and though you had only known them for a short while you were mesmerized by the craft they created for as young as they were. You found your eyes closely following Jake and while you tried to convince yourself it was because of your job, having to know what he needed at all times, deep down you knew it was because he was the most mesmerizing of them all..

Watching Jake play guitar was like a drug, something you didn't think you needed until it was right in front of you. The raw talent and animalistic way that he played the guitar, the way he made it sing, the way he made it moan and bend to his every need..

Your thoughts were cut short as Rose came up beside you and signaled to the break in the setlist in front of you. Almost simultaneously Jake looked back side stage and signaled to his amp where his cup of wine lay hidden. That was your cue. Staying out of sight you twisted the cap and graciously poured his cup half full. He gave you a half smile and a small thumbs up as a thanks but you returned his gesture with a frown because fuck his attitude earlier. Even if he was feeling better from the energy from the fans in the room doesn't mean that you had forgotten how he had snapped at you.

You made your way back down the stairs side stage and stood by with your arms crossed thinking about how much you wanted this show to end so you could go lay in your hotel room bed and forget about today. You took a deep breath as you heard Jake's guitar wail again, You'll be in your own bed in a few days time, you'll be in the quiet of your apartment, just keep hanging on Y/N..

You watched in horror as Jake approached you, his red gibson swinging on his hips. He stepped down the back stairs with confidence and handed you the white rose he was carrying, “I'm sorry I was a dick to you tonight.”

Oh.

You stood frozen holding the long stem with the white flower delicately on top as Jake gave you a small smile and walked back up the stairs. This was definitely something you were not expecting.

***

August 20th

HOME SWEET HOME…

Nashville, TN.

It had been a little while since the day Jake presented you with his apology. You had accepted the rose willingly when he handed it to you, but you felt in utter shock over it. That evening after the show Jake had sat you down and told you he was really going to work on his attitude towards you, that it was unfair you were taking the brunt of it when his anger had been all towards his brothers. You had parted ways on good terms after coming home to Nashville and you were enjoying your quiet time away from the limelight, and the chaos. You had just sat down on your couch and cozied up for the night when your phone screen lit up next to you unexpectedly.

Jake Kiszka

Hey, you busy tomorrow?

Oh. This is unexpected.

You were snuggled up with a glass of your favorite beverage in hand and your roommate's cat, Beans, purring against your leg as you pet him softly. You had the tv on in the background but you were curled up with your favorite book at the moment, rereading it for the fourth time. Seeing Jake's name across your screen caused your heart to jump in your chest. You haven't heard from him in a few weeks, since the day you parted in the airport to head home when your roommate Addison came to pick you up.

You

Nothing planned, what's going on?

You laid your head against the couch pillow and felt as Beans stretched his paws against you, you smiled in content at the small animal. Your phone vibrated again.

Jake Kiszka

I could use your help cleaning out and re packing my cases for tour in a few weeks. We always make it into a party too with food and drinks and music too so I promise I won't work you too hard :)

You caught yourself smiling a bit. Even though this was going to be work related, the thought of seeing Jake again made your stomach fill with butterflies. Fuck no, stop smiling like that..this isnt right this is your boss for crying out loud…

Yet, you couldn't deny it anymore. You were so clearly lying to yourself.

You were crushing on Jake Kiszka whether you wanted to or not. You couldn't deny how your heart felt at the thought of him and to your demise, you couldn't help but think about him constantly since you ended the first part of the tour. Especially, it seems, at certain moments late at night when your vibrator had fully charged.

Okay, whatever, you were “down bad” according to Addison. You felt ashamed for feeling this way towards your boss but as long as you kept yourself professional around Jake what was the harm in a little crush..right?

****

August 21st

GVF, LLC OFFICE.

Nashville, TN.

You swore you didn't pick out this outfit because you were seeing Jake today. No definitely not the flowy powder blue sundress that was hanging in your closet begging to be worn. You had simply forgotten about it being in there and today was so hot, it was perfect weather for a dress, yeah.

You swiped on a little bit of your favorite lip gloss and fluffed your hair when you caught eyes with your roommate in the reflection of the mirror and yelped. “What the hell is a matter with your Addison?! Don't you know how to knock?” You clenched your heart over your heaving chest trying your best to calm your erratic heart.

Addison wore a proud smirk as she leaned against the door frame, steaming cup of coffee in hand. “Who are you getting all dolled up for? Is it your sweet Jaaake?”

“Mind your business” You turned towards your reflection one more time. One last look to make sure everything was in place. “Don't you have something to do today? Somewhere to be?”

Addison was barricading you in the bathroom. “Nope. Cmon, just admit that you have a crush on him already and I'll leave you be!”

You pushed past her not wanting to acknowledge the feelings growing in your heart and naturally, she followed you as you walked into your room to grab your purse to head out the door. “Keep denying it to yourself and it'll get worse.”

“Yeah well, there's nothing there to begin with, so I don't know what to tell you.” You slipped your favorite comfy shoes on near the front door of the apartment.

“Mhm, suuure.”

At that, you walked out of the door with a dramatic eye roll.

***

The Kiszkas sure knew how to throw a party it seemed.

What had started off as an innocent afternoon unpacking and repacking crates and boxes while listening to music, quickly turned into what Jake deemed “a shit fest” as soon as Sam had located a bottle of tequila hidden in one of his crates.

“Woah!” He had announced to the room, waving the bottle around like a prize. “Lookie what I have here. Who wants shots?!”

Rose stopped packing the box of Tide To-Go sticks in Josh's case. “Sam, were not even finished yet!”

“Why should that stop us? We just struck gold!”

You and Jake made eye contact as you were standing near his dolly box and you both smirked at one another. “Let's go Sammy boy!” He turned and yelled across the room.

“Yes! Jakes in! Now who else?”

One shot turned into, well, several in a short matter of time. You realize the energy had shifted from work to party mode once the music in the room had picked up in volume. To Rose's dismay, the tasks at hand had been long abandoned and swapped in for everyone mingling with each other. The glow of the afternoon sun had settled into darker hues of pink and orange as the sun began to set on the city of Nashville and you had a nice little buzz flowing through your veins. You felt yourself actually relax and let loose and have fun for once, without worrying about being too professional. You were growing quite comfortable around here. Around your little tour family.

You had been perched up against the pool table across the room watching the shenanigans of Jake and Sam fighting each other with plastic swords dramatically. Josh had taken it upon himself to be the ref and Jake had been on and off yelling about how Josh was terrible at his job. You smiled in content as you watched others scattered around the room, watching the childish display or talking amongst themselves.

“What are you smirking at?” Danny approached you.

“Oh, nothing, just uh, feeling happy for the first time in a little while. Grateful I'm here.”

“We're very grateful to have you. Jakes is very grateful, I know.” Danny shot you a small wink over the rim of his cup. Oh?

You were in the middle of talking with Danny about one of your favorite albums to listen to on your self dictated “Vinyl Sundays' in your apartment when you felt a nudge on your shoulder and heard a soft ‘hey’ in your ear. You turned around and were met with Jake, sunglasses on now of course even though the sun had just fully set and a playful smirk resting on his face. A hint of a British accent grazed past his lips when he spoke. “Cmere, wanna show you something.”

Your heart skipped a beat, did you mess something up? No, you couldn't have, not with his body language. You smiled softly at Danny. “Excuse me, it seems my attention is needed elsewhere.”

“Not a problem Y/N, it's been nice getting to know you. You'll have to bring me that vinyl so I can listen to it before the tour starts up again.” He smiled softly back at you.

“I will make sure that I do!”

You followed Jake through the hallways of their management office, both of you silent for a beat before Jake threw a smile over his shoulder at you.

“What were you and Danny talking about?”

“He was asking me about my vinyl collection actually.” You said proudly.

“Vinyl collection huh? Anything good?” He tipped his sunglasses down to throw you a quizzical look.

“Quite a bit actually,” You nodded. “Between my parents collection and my own I would say I have a couple hundred lying around. I try to listen to a new album every Sunday even if it's an album I know or have listened to on a streaming service.”

“Couple hundred?” You couldn't see it now that Jake's sunglasses found their rightful place once more on his nose, but his eyes practically bugged out of his head. You had caught him off guard and you didn't even know it. “Thats, that's quite impressive actually.”

You sighed, “I take pride in my collection but I really owe it to both of my parents, mostly my father, for having quite the exquisite rock and roll and folk collection.”

Jake hummed and flashed you a gut wrenching smile. “I might have to come and listen with you sometime.”

“I'd like that Jake.”

“Which one were you talking to Danny about?” You turned yet another corner in what seemed to be a maze of hallways.

“Oh, I was just going through another box in my parents basement the other day and found quite the gem. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll. One of my favorite songs is on there, Crimson and Clover.”

Jake smiled to himself, “Crimson and Clover, hmm.”

“What..” You were fully ready to defend yourself.

“Oh nothing, seems fitting. Seems very you, you remind me of a little clover. A little good luck clover. You've made my life so much easier on tour lately; it's like you're my little good luck charm. My little Clover.” Jake's fingers played with the stubble on his chin and you felt your cheeks grow warm with blood. “Ahh, and there's the Crimson to go along with it.”

You couldn't hide the smile any longer. The tension was so thick you felt as though you could cut through it with a dull knife.

“Jake?” You asked softly.

He turned towards you, eyes still hiding behind his RayBans. “Yeah?”

“Where are you taking me?” You couldn't help the infectious smile that broke across your face yet again. He was simply electric.

Jake stopped walking and you followed suit. “Ah fuck, Im sorry, I probably should’ve asked this before I pulled you away but do you smoke?”

“What?” You weren't sure you heard him correctly.

“You know.” He pinched his pointer finger to his thumb and raised it to his lips, eyebrows lifting simultaneously in question.

“Oh,” Your arms crossed against your chest. “Yeah uh, sometimes. Not often though.”

“Hmm,” He hummed and reached into the front pocket of his button down shirt. “Well, there's this secret room here that I like to hide away in sometimes and take the edge off after a meeting with the hooligans. Figured I could show you and we could, you know.” He trailed off and his head tipped down towards the ground.

“I'm down I think,” You smiled. “It's been awhile since I smoked though so I might not smoke all that much.”

Jake grinned at you, “Fantastic. No worries, we don't have to smoke it all. Cmon were not far.”

You followed Jake down yet another hallway towards a solid door with a bright exit sign hanging overhead. As he pushed through the door the August humidity engulfed you for a moment but it was short lived as Jake opened another side door from the outside of the white brick building and gestured to you to enter. You were surprised as you stepped into what looked like a, possibly still used, darkroom. Red lights were shining through the room, you could see bins on tables and clotheslines hung up along the walls. At the present moment though, no photos were hung up to dry.

“Woah.” You whispered as you heard Jake close the door behind you. “Is this?”

“A darkroom? Yeah,” He smiled at you softly, his sunglasses finally coming off of his face. “We like to come here and develop the film that we capture. Well, mostly Sam and Josh but I dabble with it sometimes as well.”

“This is really cool.” You said as you walked further into the room. “Kind of disappointed that there's no film developing right now, honestly.”

You heard the click of a lighter behind you and the sound of Jake inhaling. “Yeah, we wouldn't be able to do this though if there was.” He blew the smoke out of his mouth and you watched it engulf his face for a moment in the red light.

Damn these red lights, you thought. Jake somehow looked even sexier than he normally did in the low red lights. He looked like he was damned to steal your soul from you, like he was put on this earth to bewitch you into falling in love with him. He smirked as he blew out another big hit. “Are you just going to keep staring at me or would you like to take a hit of this?”

Your eyes widened with fear and you felt your face flush hot. Okay, thank god for these red lights actually…

You reached out to take the blunt from Jake and pulled it to your lips. You took in a generous hit, not aware of how much you had actually inhaled. But your lungs made sure to point that out to you pretty quickly though as a coughing fit began to wrack through your body.

“Woah Y/N, take a breath if you can.” Jake came up beside you and began rubbing your back, pulling the blunt from your fingers and holding it away from your body. Thankfully, you had carried a small water bottle with you and you were able to stop coughing enough to finally take a few deep breaths. You felt the instant head buzz from the high settling into your body. It wasn't alarming or anxiety inducing, you felt calm. Like your worries had no longer room in your mind.

“There we go.” Jake said softly, his strong hand still rubbing comforting circles along your back that definitely awoke a different type of feeling low in your stomach. “Ready for another?”

“Hell no.” You choked out a laugh and his throaty laugh followed suit. His laugh was music to your ears. How could it be possible that a damn laugh could sound sexy?

“Fair enough Y/N.”

You watched as he lifted the blunt to his soft looking lips that were glistening even in the red light. His eyes flicked to you again as the smoke began to leave his lungs and float through the air. Your eyes snapped to the ground out of embarrassment for being caught staring at him yet again. You hated how his lips tilted up in a little smirk as he realized, as well, that he had caught you again.

Clearing your throat you broke the silence, and the tension “What kind of film do you all usually produce here?”

Another cloud of smoke engulfed the space around you, the red lights showing that the room had a slight haze to it now. “Mostly pictures from the tour. I know Sammy boy is more into this than anything, surprisingly. He constantly carries his camera around with him.”

You hummed and pretended like the clotheslines with hooks were suddenly the most interesting thing in the room rather than the man who was dripping with sex appeal next to you.

“Want one last hit before it's done?” Jake asked, gesturing to the now very small blunt.

“Uh, I'm probably okay, I'd like to avoid another cough attack if possible.” You giggled softly as you waved him off.

“Hm,” His lips pressed into a tight line for a moment. “You ever shotgun before?”

“What?” Your eyes widened.

“You ever did a shotgun with someone while smoking?” He tilted his head at you.

“I uh, don't think so no.” You fidgeted with your fingers as nervousness crept up in your throat.

You watched as he moved a little closer to you, closing the space and making your throat constrict. “‘S pretty easy, I take a hit and then blow it in your mouth. It makes it so the smoke isn't as harsh.”

The spicy bergamot of his cologne rolling off of his skin began engulfing your senses and coaxing you into yet another intoxicating cloud of lust that was Jake. Now, of course, this sense was heightened with your current state of mind.

“Wanna try?” He whispered as he moved even closer to you again. You watched as he stepped in front of you so you two were facing each other head on now.

You slowly nodded your head in fear that your voice would fail you if you tried to speak. You bit your lip in anticipation of what was going to happen next. Jake sucked in a soft breath between his lips and brought his hand up to your chin.

“Don't do that,” He whispered. “Drives me crazy when you do.”

Your lips parted slightly as his calloused thumb swiped along your mouth, that very thumb catching the fullness of your bottom lip for just a moment as you released it from your teeth before he pulled away.

Your mouth was undeniably dry as he smiled down at you and you felt the buttons of his shirt graze softly against your skin. The heat coming off of his body was noticeable and by God did you suddenly wish he would just press himself fully against you.

“Okay, s’easy. Trust me yeah?” He brushed your hair away from one side of your face and your heart leapt out of your chest. You didn't have time to fully comprehend what was happening as you watched him bring the blunt to those perfectly soft looking lips and inhale a deep cloud of smoke. What happened next was simultaneously going too slow and too fast all at once. Your brain struggled to keep up with what was happening as his fingertips dipped into your hair and pulled you closer to him by the back of your neck. Holy shit.

You finally felt Jake's body meld with yours as best it could, the feeling of being pressed between the man you desired most and a shitty little table was instantly the most intoxicating feeling you had experienced in a long time. You didn't feel like you could have prepared yourself for the set of events that unfolded shortly after.

You felt that same thumb from earlier brush softly at the bottom of your ear as he tipped your head up towards him slightly. You wanted to close your eyes but your couldn't bring yourself to find the strength to do so. You watched as he leaned in and gasped softly as you felt his lip softly against yours. Your heart sank to your stomach at the feeling of finally being close to him in ways you only had wished for the last few weeks. You suddenly remembered what got you into this position in the first place as you felt Jakes nose nudge softly against yours. Your mouth parted slightly to accept the smoke tucked away in his lungs currently.At your acknowledgement that you were ready to accept what he was giving to you, you felt Jakes lips press a little harder against yours and you felt the hot smoke flood your mouth. You inhaled as best as you could but you also were frozen in place.

Instead of pulling away immediately as you exhaled the smoke from your own lungs, Jake took a chance and softly closed his lips against yours to which you softly reciprocated as well. This kiss was cautionary and you confirmed how both of you felt in the moment as Jake pulled slightly away, hand still tucked in your hair. You couldn't read his facial expression all too well but his eyes had a determined look.

You made the first move to fully kiss him at this point. You tipped your head up and pressed a more determined kiss to his lips. Jake welcomed the kiss. His lips engulfing your own in a soft, pillowy dream of lust. You felt goosebumps spread across your body as you melted further into him, wrapping your arms around the back of his head and you pulled him impossibly closer to you. As your mouths moved back and forth a little less cautiously at this point you made a mental note for yourself how Jake's bottom lip was most prominent in the kiss. His mouth was warm, and so soft but rough against your own as the sexual tension built up in the room. You felt his hands rubbing down the sides of your body and settling on your hips giving them a soft squeeze as you two deepened the kiss further and your tongues touched for the first time.

Inhibitions clearly out the window, you felt him lift you up onto the table behind you without breaking the heated make out that was now happening. As his tongue dipped further against yours, you couldn't help but moan softly. He seemed to appreciate your reaction as he squeezed your hips tighter and dragged you closer to the edge of the table, your clothed core making slight contact with the buckle of his belt. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing mattered other than Jake and how he felt. Your fingers found their way into his soft hair and you pulled slightly releasing a moan he had been hiding away from you. It didn't feel like enough. More. You needed more….

The shrill sound of an iPhone ringtone broke through the silence in the room making you both jump.

“Dammit Josh,” Jake swore as he looked at the screen of his phone and lifted it up to his ear. “What!” His body was still pressed up against yours and his fingertips were dragging along the exposed skin on your hip. From this position you were in, he looked fucked out and by God he looked delicious.

“I just ran out to my car to grab something dude,” Jake spoke angrily into his phone and rolled his eyes. “No im not in the fuckin, whatever man. Im coming back now anyways chill the fuck out.”

You heard the three beeps of a call ending and Jake sighed and glanced at you, “Sorry Clover”

His fingers grazed across your cheekbone. “Here, let me help you down.”

You felt his hands squeeze your hips again and you felt like you were out of breath. The weight of what happened between you and Jake now settling slowly into your consciousness. Before you could think much further, his fingertips tipped your chin up and he softly pressed his lips to yours one more time. As he pulled away he smiled softly at you and you couldn't help but reciprocate.

He was like a drug, and now that you've had a taste, you weren't sure you were going to be able to give it up. You pressed your fingertips softly to your tingling lips to hide your smile as Jake walked his way out the door, turning around to blow a kiss to you and wave his fingers. His sunglasses take their natural place sitting on his perfect nose once again. You followed shortly thereafter and giggled as you watched the remnants of the smoke pour out the door.

“Cmon darlin,” Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “Let's go have ourselves a party, yeah?”

You smiled and wrapped an arm around Jake's torso, “Lets!” You'll deal with whatever just happened tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow is good.

Remember that harmless little crush you thought wouldn't get in the way of anything?

Yeah, well you might've been wrong but you definitely won't be telling anyone about it.

****

taglist: @brujamagik @anythingforjtk @jakesguitarsolo @do-it-jakey-baby @vanfleeter @violetstarcatcher @myownparadise96@ignite-my-fire @nina-23-45

A/N: If you would like to be added to the taglist let me know :)

#jake kiszka #jake gvf #jake kiszka series

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charmedreincarnation · 10 months

Note

Success story (not the void)

Maya, as I promised you, I'm writing you my success story. It's quite a wild one, so please bear with me.

My journey started during the Angel era, when I was struggling with the void state. I tried everything I could think of to get out of it - every method, every meditation technique, affirming, intention, lucid dreaming, and even coaching from various LoA experts, including those not so well-known. I was desperate for a breakthrough, a key to unlock the life I deserved. I would have done anything, even ate dirt if that was what it took.

At that time, my family was going through a rough patch. My abusive father, a police officer, divorced my mother and left us with nothing. We were homeless, living out of our car, while my dad was living a comfortable life. He had a new girlfriend, a younger woman, and continued to be respected in his job. Meanwhile, my mom, who was a victim of his abuse, was labeled a liar and lost everything. I was filled with rage, towards him, towards the world, towards the jury that declared him innocent. I wasn’t safe in this world especially being homeless, women and children are the most vulnerable to sexual and physical assault. I was scared, unsafe, and had nothing aside my mother and siblings.

I wanted to enter the void, not just for myself, but to give my family a better life and to bring justice to those who had wronged us. I was at a point where I was harming myself, but I couldn't give up because my family needed me. I remember messaging you, Maya, pouring out my story, begging you to help me enter the void. Despite your initial hesitation, you responded with kindness, sharing some personal experiences, and reassuring me that I wasn't alone.

Your words gave me hope. You made me realize that many people who find the law have gone through, or are still going through difficulties. If they could overcome their struggles, so could I.

So, I decided to let go of the void. Not because I didn't believe in it, but because I had elevated it to a status akin to a genie that would magically solve all my problems. When non-dualism and other loa concepts were introduced, everything finally clicked. I realized I didn't have to be angry, or try to be someone manifesting master, or do all these fake methods. I have always known that my family and I were meant to be happy.

For a month, I went through a process of shedding my ego. It was uncomfortable, and there were times I found myself fighting my own thoughts, telling them to shut up. I was separating my ego from myself. You, Maya, had once said that this process was similar to withdrawal symptoms of someone quitting drugs. This thought comforted me. I was becoming someone new, my old thoughts weren't there anymore.

Living in my car, I began to see it as my mansion. My mom's crying turned into laughter, my siblings' whine for food turned into jokes. We pretended that we were living our dream life, and after a while, my siblings joined me in this game. We would come "home" from school and yell at each other, pretending that the house was so big that we needed walkie-talkies to communicate.whenever I needed to steal food it was because we owned the place and can take whatever we want, not because I had to.

One day, we parked at a field, and I started imagining my life. I tried to become the clouds by thinking I am and accepting that my consciousness could be whatever it wanted. I got my siblings to do the same. We became the flowers, then the sun, then the stars at night. Even though physically I was still in the car, mentally and emotionally, I was living my dream life.

When I woke up, I was in a large room. It was decorated to perfection. I heard my siblings running around, throwing toys, and my mother laughing with a man, who's laugh alone sounded like gold. I explored the house, and it was beautiful. There was no yelling, no violence, only laughter and love. My mom introduced me to her boyfriend, and he was holding a newspaper that read that my father had been arrested for domestic crimes and fraud. He was losing everything.

At that moment, I realized that I had done it. My mom was happy, beautiful, and loved. My siblings had plenty of toys and clothes, and our house was filled with love. My family and I were finally living our dream life.

I have been living my life for about a month and now, and it has been blissful to say the least. I go to a well known private school and I am the top student. I am apart of many clubs, and also spend a lot of time volunteering at domestic shelters, and speaking to victims of intrapersonal abuse. I have made friends of people who volunteer with me, so it’s nice to have people who care about the same thing I do.

I am also apart of my writing club, and found comfort in reading and writing and have decided I want to be an author once I graduate. I have always wanted to be a writer but they don’t make enough money often. But now not only do I know I will be successful but my family has enough money to last us multiple generations plus some more. My Bio father had gotten much to what is coming to him and he will be going to jail. I hope he drops the soap but I have let go of my anger with that barbaric fool. So has my mother who has also recently gotten engaged and I get to be her maid of honor. She has a friend group of mothers from school and I have never seen her happier. My now father treats her like a goddess and treats everyone like that. He spoils my mom and us with gifts and luxurious trips. He also spoils the help such as the maids and cooks and never treats them below us. He does not expect anything from my mother except for her to be happy and spend time with us. He is kind selfless loving and respectful. the real definition of a man. I adore him so much and I’m so happy to call him my father.

I find great joy in the little stuff. I love cleaning my room. My bio dad was a hoarder and the house was always a mess because my mom was the sole provider though my “bio dad” made much more. He instead used it on hookers, alcohol, and drugs. Pathetic excuse for a man I know. I love going shopping, as I don’t have to look at the price tag. It feels normal, there was no shift. This is just life constantly changing. I have 5 pets and spend great time with all of them, and they are all so loving and adore me. I love school, and doing my homework, taking tests, assemblies etc. i love talking to my teacher about my ideas and how I can improve. They’re always so encouraging and kind, and I have never experienced that. I also loveeeee having crushes hehe. I never had time nor the “looks” for that prior to these past few months, but I receive a good amount of attention from a lot of sweet man and the “what if” aspect of having crushes is fun. I just love being a teenage girl, something I was not always able to say. I love the world and the people in it, the creations I bring and make, and all I did to make it what it is. I never worry what happened to my old self or life. It died, it doesn’t exist I am here right now with them and the old story is gone. Like an author erasing a part of a story she doesn’t like and never producing it, I did the same. My one true reality and I am so blessed.

Also big thanks to bloggers like @awarenessis @starbursts777 @consciousnessbaddie for introducing this concepts to Tumblr in a simple and kind way. Love to everyone in this devoted app.

Congratulations on your astounding success story 🥹 Your journey is a testament to the power of the human spirit, and it's an honor to hear about your transformation. This is beautiful wild tale, but it's your reality, and it's absolutely beautiful.

Your story is a powerful reminder that we have the power to shape our reality, no matter how dire our circumstances may be. It's a testament to the power of belief, determination, and the human spirit. I'm incredibly proud of you and wish you and your family all the happiness in the world.

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #my asks

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solselah · 3 months

Text

Pick A Movie ? 💛

(Channeled messages are unrelated to plot)

PILE 1 - TOTAL RECALL

You’ve been noticing recently that your lucid dreaming has gotten so real !! I believe you had an idea how this journey was going to go but you got hit with a mini curve ball the last time you attempted to lucid dream !! Your guides are kind of smirking like just ask us to “lead and guide you and so it shall be” they are definitely protecting during this interesting moment of learning how to “get off the ground” it seems like you start to astral project and you maybe get a bit overwhelmed & feel the need to stop & try again ! On the other hand as you’re sleeping the whole time you’re lucid dreaming to these dimensions & meeting people you actually know in that realm ! So In reality your guides want to lead you into conscious Astral travel !!! Being that you unexpectedly lucid dream almost every night !!! I see for some you really do meet up in the astral realm like it’s a game lol , like okay player 1 is here , player two is here we’re ready to GO! I would just be aware of those you travel with if this is what you choose to do ! Make sure you’re truly okay with sharing your energy on that level !

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

PILE 2 - MOONLIGHT

I’m hearing you could be a Sagittarius specifically !! If not you have HEAVY Jupiterian energy! The message I’m receiving is that revolving around your self worth & how it’s been at a 0% when it’s literally always been at 100% with you ! I see people around you are concerned and want you to know they care and are here for you , with anything you may need ! For some you’ve just been watching and listening !! For a few you could’ve really had an imbalanced upbringing, I’m seeing that you may have had your parents, which is a positive thing , but they both seem to have “filled the same glass consistently”

meanwhile the other “glasses” (🍷)that were in need of attention remained empty ! So maybe they raised you based off how they were raised or how they simply wanted to. There were usually no input from others , especially family ! They could’ve been so Focused on your goals making sure you don’t make them look any less than they deem themselves to be ! I’m so picking up a mothers energy , she is toxic yall!! And would rather you “raise yourself” than put energy into molding you & raising you with the love that nourishes and not the back handed guilt of love ! Things will be so different when you decide to have kids or even if you do ! You move so different than your family and I commend you for it ! 💙

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

PILE 3 - HIDDEN FIGURES

So I see your having doubts about if this person is literally your twin flame like you don’t have any clue about what that even means or looks like for you & your not the type of person to look online and associate your experiences with the next , you need to experience these things for yourself to really solidify it in your eyes ! So you are doubting which is so okay because I do feel it’s a natural reaction to such a powerful dynamic ! Now as far as labeling it as twin flame that part you’re not sure about , like you rarely like saying boyfriend and girlfriend ! You are okay with being Partners or just people who love each other ! You are my pile that moves independent mostly , what you want you really go out there and get it for you ! To make you feel good , to add to the list of your accomplishments! You feel like this

“Twin flame “ thing might take you off your tracks as far as being independent , you’re not really ready for that level of emotion !! You definitely are dealing with someone who is KARMIC to you and is capable of mirroring to you , your faults ! You’re just not ready for that !! I wouldn’t 100% say you have interacted with your twin flame if you even have one ! I just feel like one of you may think that and the other is feeling so off about it. You’re hiding from the things that are triggering you which is so normal but at some point you’ll HAVE to face it !! Take it gently! Never with force ✨

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PILE 4 - BRIDESMAIDS

(Mini 18+ warning )

You’re so not good with rejection of any kind !! lol you can be the type of person who is like go big or go home ! you will literally pay an arm and leg for something you really want !!! You have a very abundant mind set and can actually create and manifest with that gift so amazingly !! You take action you’re not lazy whatsoever , you are a money maker and may even work from home to where you still are in the comfort of your own Space ! The message for you is to maintain this abundant mindset and you never know where you’ll end up in the next 6 years as far as goals are concerned!! Venus is ushering in some good sex for you ! It’s almost like you work with a goddess connected to Venus and you can manifest the person , place & time lol your definitely a Conjurer or a sorceress an empress , you may work with water as well , I’m seeing water offerings !! So you have a deep connection to the element of water. You could be a Pisces I’m feeling that sign heavily! you may also have a Scorpio Venus for some or even a Jupiter in Taurus for others ! You are really so godly ! The shape , the body, the energy its all goals !!! 🔥🔥

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Hope you enjoy 💛

IG: @ soleccentric

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sas-soulwriter · 7 months

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Research Tips for Writing Your Book

Are you diving into the exciting world of writing and researching for your book project? Here's what you need to know to make your research journey a success:

Define Your Purpose: Before diving into research, have a clear understanding of your book's purpose and goals. Know the themes you want to explore and the message you wish to convey. This will give your research a focused direction.

Create a Research Plan: Outline the specific areas you need to research, set milestones, and establish deadlines. A well-structured research plan keeps you on track and helps you manage your time efficiently.

Use Multiple Sources: Diversify your sources. Books, academic papers, interviews, and digital resources each offer unique perspectives and insights. This diversity enriches your understanding and adds depth to your writing.

Organize Your Notes: Keep your research notes well-organized. Consider using digital tools like note-taking apps or physical notebooks with labeled sections for different topics. Efficient organization will save you time and effort later.

Fact-Check: Ensure the accuracy of your research. Verify any details that are crucial to your story or argument. Misinformation can erode your credibility and disrupt the reader's immersion.

Cite Sources Properly: Keep meticulous records of your sources and be diligent about citations. Use a recognized citation style (e.g., APA, MLA, Chicago) to give credit to the authors and avoid plagiarism.

Interview Experts: Reach out to experts or people with firsthand knowledge relevant to your topic. Interviews can provide you with valuable insights, real-life experiences, and unique anecdotes to enhance your book.

Visit Relevant Places: If your book is set in a particular location, consider visiting it if possible. Experiencing the environment firsthand can help you capture its atmosphere, culture, and nuances more authentically.

Take Breaks: Research can be mentally taxing. Don't forget to take breaks to recharge and maintain a fresh perspective. Stepping away from your work can also lead to new insights and ideas.

Stay Open-Minded: Be open to unexpected discoveries during your research. Sometimes, the most profound insights come from unrelated sources or tangential information that you stumble upon while researching.

Keep a Journal: Maintain a research journal where you can jot down notes, ideas, and thoughts as they occur. This journal can serve as a valuable resource when you're writing your book.

Join Writing Communities: Connect with other writers in person or online. They can offer guidance, share their experiences, and provide emotional support when you face challenges during the research and writing process.

Revise and Refine: Don't think of research as a one-time activity. Continuously revisit and refine your research as your book evolves. New ideas or directions may emerge, and you may need to adjust your research accordingly.

Respect Copyright Laws: Understand the copyright laws applicable to your research. Ensure you have the rights to use specific materials, especially if you plan to incorporate them into your book. Obtaining permissions or licensing may be necessary.

Balance Research and Writing: While research is crucial, there comes a point where you must transition from research to writing. Avoid getting stuck in a perpetual research phase. Once you have enough information to start, begin writing and integrate research as needed in your work.

Remember that your research phase is an integral part of the creative process. It's where the foundation of your book is built, and it can be a fascinating journey in itself.But keep in mind, as you're writing your first draft, you can never know everything, never research everything. A second opinion is always good, and for that, you can ask friends, family, or even me on this blog.

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teyamskxawng · 11 months

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What Once Was [I]

Lo'ak Sully x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Neteyam Sully x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Part II here

The rundown: The once unbreakable bond between you and Lo'ak is tested as a newfound connection develops between you and Neteyam

Warnings: language, love triangle, jealousy, miscommunication, angst (i think?), Lo'ak can't handle change, Lo'ak is emotionally immature, everyone is kind of oblivious, characters are aged up

WC: 5.0k

A/N: love triangle fic bc i was feeling messy but i'm kind of struggling to write this... i have absolutely no idea how it's going to end, but we're sticking with it i guess

For as long as you can remember, you and Lo'ak have always been inseparable. Born just days apart, it's like you were destined to grow up side by side, practically attached at the hip. From your most embarrassing moments to your proudest achievements, there was, and still is, rarely a time when the two of you aren't together.

Once a wide-eyed, lanky little girl, you've blossomed into a strong and capable young woman. And it's no different for Lo'ak. The wayward and reckless boy from your childhood has matured both physically and emotionally (sort of) into a man. Neither of you are children anymore. You've outgrown those naive days, stepping into the world of adulthood.

It's all still new and bizarre to you—your sudden awareness of the terrifying looming task of finding a mate, the unexpected influx of second glances and prolonged conversations with the other guys in your clan, the near-constant gossip that there's more to your relationship with Lo'ak than meets the eye. But you figure these little sprinklings of oddities are simply part of the ever-changing journey of growing up.

And throughout all the confusing changes and inexplicable hormones, Lo'ak continues to be your rock. His enormous smile and infectious laughter remain the same; they still possess the power to brighten even your gloomiest days.

To many, he's the olo'eyktan's son; a direct descendant of the esteemed Toruk Makto; the antithesis of his older brother; some four-fingered anomaly to stare at and whisper about. But to you? You've never defined him by any titles or labels. In your eyes, he's simply Lo'ak: the first person you ever called a friend. Stupidly reckless yet fiercely loyal, easily the most annoying person on Pandora yet the one soul you could never live without—you wouldn't have him any other way.

You're forever intertwined through idyllic shared moments: climbing your way up towering trees until your palms were raw with blisters and hurt like hell, egging each other on to reach risky new speeds and daring new heights while soaring through the sky atop your ikran, spending nights wide awake in adjacent hammocks while trying to hold in your childish giggles over idiotic jokes that no one else could possibly understand. The friendship between you and Lo’ak is steadfast and unwavering; nothing can shake the bond you share.

At least, that's what you thought until Neteyam entered the picture.

In all fairness, Neteyam has always been around. He's like a constant presence, just sort of hovering on the periphery of your life. With him being a year older, it used to seem like an entire lifetime separated you during your childhood years. He bore so much responsibility on his shoulders at such a young age yet still held so much respect and admiration from everyone around him. Destined to become the olo'eyktan of your clan and recognized throughout Pandora as an extraordinary hunter, Neteyam grew up as a literal prodigy in every sense of the word.

And despite growing up alongside him and his siblings, Neteyam's awe-inspiring reputation often still makes him seem larger than life—like an ethereal figure rather than someone deeply connected to so many of your childhood memories.

You and Neteyam have always been on friendly terms, but you never reached the same level of closeness as you did with Lo'ak, Kiri, or even Tuk. Your interactions with him typically consist of simple hellos whenever you pass each other in the Sully tent, aimless lighthearted conversations during your joint training sessions, or joining forces to playfully (not really) gang up on Lo'ak in a mutual spirit of camaraderie. Even though these moments are undoubtedly positive and enjoyable, they're also few and far between compared to your experiences with the other Sully kids.

Neteyam always has so much shit to do, so many things to train for, so many duties to obey. You'd be lying if you said you didn't feed into Lo'ak's 'perfect little warrior' quip about Neteyam behind his back.

And when Jake decides to send all of the warriors in your training group on paired week-long hunting trips to put your acquired skills to the test, he doesn't even think twice before shooting down your and Lo'ak's mutual request to team up because he's a heartless, cruel old man he has first-hand experience of the way you and Lo'ak seem to revert back to children in each other's presence.

Lo'ak gets paired with some stony old head who's over twice his age, while you get paired with Neteyam, which actually is alright with you. Neteyam sends you a warm smile when his father points you his way, and you, in turn, shoot a massive grin back at Lo'ak's sad little face.

The hunting trip goes even better than you could've imagined. Throughout the week-long journey, not only do you make a handful of clean kills, but you also manage to break through some of the emotional barriers that Neteyam has always maintained around himself. Behind his protective walls, when he lets his guard down, he's just like any other Na'vi your age—he's witty, charming, and endearing in his own distinctive way.

He's also objectively nice to look at.

So it's really no one's business if you find yourself mesmerized by the muscles rippling across his back as he draws his bowstring, aiming at a fish you should be helping him track. Or if you're too busy admiring the way his tanhì glow in the moonlight to register that he's called your name three times in a row without receiving your response. You're an adult; you’re allowed to admire other men. Besides, Neteyam seems to be blissfully unaware of the fact that he's a heartthrob. He's kind of introverted and shy, yet arguably one of Pandora's most genuine and kind-hearted souls. And honestly? You feel kind of stupid for not taking the time to peel back each layer of his carefully crafted facade and build a deeper friendship with him sooner. It's an unexpected companionship that blossoms during those days spent side by side with Neteyam in Pandora's mesmerizing beauty, and it'll forever be a treasured part of your shared memories.

Upon returning from your week-long hunting trip, it's apparent to just about everyone that something has changed between you and Neteyam. Your bond has deepened, and every moment spent together is more meaningful than before. Your laughter booms louder; your conversations last longer; your shared glances become more playful. To say the experience has brought you closer would be the understatement of the century.

Lo'ak quickly picks up on the not-so-subtle changes in your friendship with his brother.

The shift in dynamics has left him feeling a confusing mix of emotions—anger, hurt, and maybe even (definitely) a tinge of envy. As he watches his brother grow closer to you, he can't help but feel like he's losing the one stable thing in his life—the one person who never mocked him for his avatar blood, never made him feel like an outcast, never picked his brother over him.

Not until now.

It's bullshit. It's like Neteyam doesn't have enough blessings already, like he doesn't have his choice of any other person on Pandora. It just had to be you. With each passing day, Lo'ak feels himself becoming more distant from you and his brother, unsure how to navigate those choppy waters.

Which brings him to today.

The three of you are together, riding your ikran to scout out an uncharted waterfall that you stumbled across while on a solo hunt earlier that week. You practically begged Lo'ak to go back to the waterfall with you, and despite all the emotional commotion clouding Lo'ak's mind, he still decides to join you, hoping that maybe things will return to normal. Just you and him. What he doesn’t know, however, is that you also invited Neteyam to tag along. It’s a surprise Lo'ak discovers only when he arrives at your meeting spot and finds his brother already there, leaning on his ikran and chatting away with you like the two of you are best friends. Neteyam has a stupid smile plastered on his face as he holds your attention, completely oblivious to his brother’s arrival.

He never intended on slipping into this role—the one left behind. But here he is, grappling with feelings he can't totally name or understand; vulnerability mixed with longing, anger chased by guilt.

Childishly, Lo'ak stands there in silence for a good ten seconds before either of you notice his arrival and finally make room for him in your little group.

"Hey," you greet him, a wide grin spreading across your face. But it goes entirely unnoticed by Lo’ak, whose eyes are dead set on his brother. Maybe if he tries hard enough, he can telepathically tell Neteyam to go away.

"You didn't say he was coming," Lo'ak mutters, finally glancing in your direction. Because you didn't. He doesn’t even need to say his name; it’s obvious. The two of you never include his brother in your outings.

Your enthused expression falters at Lo'ak's noticeable lack of excitement or even a simple 'hello' in response to your greeting.

"No…" you begin hesitantly, your eyes darting back and forth between the two brothers before settling once more on Lo'ak. "But Jake got called to High Camp and canceled Neteyam's training session, so I figured he could join us instead."

It must be obvious that your words haven't exactly won Lo'ak over because, at his continued silence, you add, "You know he never gets a break."

Lo'ak's jaw clenches as he just stands there, motionless and marinating in his stubborn silence. In his head, he's cussing out his dad and Max and Norm and everyone else in High Camp for ruining his afternoon. Lo'ak frustratedly bites the inside of his cheek to keep the expletives in before calling out to his ikran. As he waits for his ride, he's still silent and brooding and completely ignoring both you and his brother.

The high-pitched shriek of his banshee echoes off the trees as it approaches from a nearby cliff. It swoops down and lands gracefully in front of Lo'ak, and he reaches out to scratch it behind the ear without a word. Only then does he finally lift his gaze to find you and Neteyam staring at him in bewildered silence.

Neteyam's previously wide eyes squint in confusion when Lo'ak locks eyes with him. Struggling to find the right words, Neteyam asks carefully, "Is that okay with you?" His voice is slow and cautious, as if one wrong move might set Lo'ak off.

Lo'ak responds with a deep sigh that echoes through the air, not even bothering to hide his irritation. Reaching over his shoulder for his queue, he connects to and mounts his ikran in a flash of silent, swift movements. After settling on its back and letting the tense silence steep for a few moments, Lo'ak answers his brother's inquiry with an annoyed shrug of his shoulders and an uptight "Sure."

So, to say that Lo'ak was pissed would be an understatement.

A bubbling cauldron of jealousy and resentment brewed inside him throughout the entire flight to the waterfall. And as all three of you land your ikran onto a nearby patch of grass, his blood continues to seethe with envy. Lo’ak grabs his queue and separates the connection between himself and his ikran. Immediately after doing so, the ikran emits a sharp hiss directly in his face. The creature then abruptly shifts its gaze, evidently fed up about sharing Lo'ak's unnerving emotions through their bond. Lo'ak knows it's immature to be so upset over something so seemingly insignificant, but it still gnaws at him relentlessly. So much so that the prospect of seeing the waterfall doesn't even excite him anymore. The entire outing feels overshadowed by the looming presence of his brother.

Clearly though, you feel the complete opposite way. You're practically vibrating in anticipation, each beat of your ikran's wings drawing you closer to the ground. As soon as you land, you hurriedly shower your ikran in affection with a few loving pats on its flank before quickly dismounting and happily leading the way toward the waterfall.

Lo'ak and Neteyam have to jog a little to keep up with your enthusiastic pace as you navigate through the dense forest landscape. You're a good ten steps ahead of them, deftly bobbing and weaving beneath low-hanging branches while simultaneously working to untie the armband from around your bicep. Your figure keeps disappearing from Lo'ak's view—vanishing behind veils of cascading leaves one moment and leaping over boulders the next as you determinedly forge ahead. It’s like you’ve never been outside before.

Finally, he catches sight of you, standing triumphantly at the base of a colossal rocky wall. Rising above you is a mind-blowing waterfall that makes Lo'ak pause in his tracks. It stands so tall and roars so loud that he momentarily forgets all about his shitty mood. No amount of grumbling or sarcasm can compete with, or diminish, the raw power of the wonder that lies before him. A thick mist envelops the base where the water comes crashing down, blurring the boundary between the waterfall and the pool below. Beams of daylight pierce through the airborne water droplets, casting vibrant spectrums of color that seem almost alive as they dance across the expanse of the creek.

Using both hands, you gather your braids away from your face and retrieve the armband from its position clenched firmly between your teeth. Your back faces Lo'ak as you drink in the mesmerizing sight before you, and your excitement is practically bubbling over as you shout over the roar of the waterfall, "Isn't it amazing? I told you, I've never seen anything so beautiful."

The blend of mist, light, and color casts a glowing halo around your figure as you secure your hair with the band, and Lo'ak is momentarily entranced. His breaths are a little shallow as he nods wordlessly at your back, not really processing your words, but fully convinced of them nonetheless.

Your head tilts back as you crane your neck to further examine the sprawling wall of rock. "It's kind of a climb to get to the top," you warn. Lo'ak can practically see the gears turning in your head as you map out the best route up, the strategic warrior in you taking over. When your focused attention finally returns to Lo'ak and Neteyam, there's a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. "We should race," you challenge them with a grin.

The rugged, nearly vertical incline is intimidating but definitely doable. Lo'ak knows you're a skilled climber; the two of you spent your childhood scaling trees together. He fondly recalls days spent scrambling up trees and challenging each other to reach the highest branches. It felt like the biggest accomplishment in the world when you'd both reach the summit of Hometree. You'd bask in the view of the forest from the canopy until your parents inevitably tracked you down and scolded you for your reckless behavior.

You practically made climbing trees your entire personalities until Lo'ak's dumbass had to go and fall out of one. It left him with a nasty purple bruise that was way too big to hide, and when he went to his grandmother for healing, you were both unceremoniously banned from your cherished little hobby. It wasn't even that high up, but you've never let him live it down—constantly (and only half-jokingly) claiming that the accident is the sole reason he's a little off in the head.

The memory makes Lo'ak's lips twitch into a grin, and he's about to remind you of that nostalgic day when Neteyam speaks up.

"I guess it's good we didn’t invite monkey boy," Neteyam says, entirely serious. He's gazing up at the rocky enclosure in determination, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the harsh daylight before turning back to face you.

Your face scrunches up in confusion as you ask, “Who?”

Neteyam just nods at you before clarifying, “Spider.”

Lo'ak watches as you're silent for a few beats before you break out into a slow, wide grin and let out a loud snort of laughter.

Lo'ak has to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes, because nothing that Neteyam said warranted that kind of reaction. The remark wasn't even supposed to be funny; their whole family has been calling Spider by that nickname ever since he was little. But of course, the first time you hear that piece of information, it has to come from none other than Neteyam. And Lo'ak just has to stand there in silence like a third wheel for the umpteenth time that day.

You’re barely able to string together words through your uncontrollable bubbles of laughter. "My Eywa," you gasp out, your eyes squeezed shut as you shake your head in disbelief. Finally catching your breath, you implore him lightheartedly, "You need to tell jokes more often, Neteyam. I’m serious."

Lo'ak knows that you're probably being a little sarcastic and a little serious at the same time, but either way, it's not like Neteyam knows that. He's just beaming back at you with that same dopey look on his face as he basks in your amusement.

"I will…?" comes Neteyam's response, almost as if it were a question or a statement requiring some kind of validation. Lo'ak watches as you extend an arm to playfully nudge the back of his brother's head. This time, Lo'ak does roll his eyes as the two of you fall into a cycle of tugging on each other's braids and tails like a pair of five-year-olds.

And it's been like this more and more often lately: Neteyam showering you with attention, you grinning from ear to ear and laughing at every single word that leaves his lips. It's irritating. And it gets even worse.

You finally manage to sneak out of Neteyam's reach, refocusing your sight on the towering wall ahead.

"I'll go first," you declare confidently, surveying the wall from top to bottom as you adjust the bow and arrows securely fastened to your back. You locate a small protrusion in the rock's rough surface and firmly position your foot into the crevice, your fingers searching for a higher ledge to grip. Finding one, you propel your entire body upwards with a determined leap.

Lo'ak, unable to suppress his competitive inner child, is soon hot on your heels. From the moment you both mastered your bow and arrow, taking down your prey with clean precision, to the day you tamed and forged a bond with each of your ikran, your combined spirit of friendly competition has fueled a relentless desire to outdo each other.

And today is no different.

"Bro, wait up!" Lo'ak shouts, his voice cutting through the cool mountain air. "I thought you said we were racing!" He scrambles onto the wall beside you, his eyes locked on your every move. Your quick hands and feet expertly navigate the rough, uneven surface of the rock wall, leading the way up.

"We are," you retort, not even sparing a glance at him as you carefully calculate each handhold and foothold. You keep your focus on the task at hand, stretching your arm out to grab a rock to your far left.

Lo'ak extends his arm to grip the same rock you just occupied. He's well aware and not at all ashamed of the fact that he's blatantly copying your every move now—anything to keep up with your quick pace.

"Then why'd you start without us?" he manages to ask, a little bit out of breath.

"So you can watch and learn," you reply confidently, a smug smile playing at the corners of your lips. Your outstretched foot reaches over just enough to give Lo'ak's shoulder a teasing little nudge.

"Txanfwìngtu," Lo'ak mutters under his breath, but clearly not quiet enough. The unmistakable sound of his brother's disapproving "Lo'ak" reverberates through the air behind him. You whip your head in Lo'ak's direction before half-heartedly hissing at him. Your attempt at intimidation quickly dissolves into barely-contained laughter as you revel in the look of pure irritation on Lo'ak's face.

You're still laughing as you resume climbing, but as you take your next step, you miscalculate your foot's placement on the rugged surface and momentarily lose your balance, whispering a soft "shit." But before you even have a chance to panic, you quickly catch yourself and regain your footing like it's nothing. Because it isn't.

But Neteyam, the picture-perfect angel that he is, doesn't hesitate to reach out and steady you from his spot standing right behind you, even though you're barely as high off the ground as Tuk's height and it's obvious you're not going to fall.

Lo'ak’s brows furrow as he watches your entire body tense up the instant Neteyam's hands wrap around your waist.

Something ugly swirls in Lo'ak's stomach as he notices the way his brother's eyes are practically glued to your waist, his fingers lingering on you for a few beats too long for it to feel friendly anymore. It's not until you turn your head over your shoulder to meet Neteyam's gaze that he actually has the presence of mind to shift his eyes up toward yours and let go of your middle.

"Sorry," he mumbles, so quiet and timid that you'd think he was lying if he told you he was the future leader of the entire clan.

"No, no, it's okay. Thank you," you say with a smile, clearly trying to brush it off and diffuse any lingering awkwardness from the situation. You turn back around and resume your ascent like nothing, but it doesn't escape Lo'ak's notice that he can detect the distinct scent of your arousal in the air, as clear as day.

It's a natural reaction, something Lo'ak has noticed before in various situations without any cause for concern. He'd usually just tease you about it, and that would be that. But today is different. Seeing his brother so close to you and knowing how easily those kinds of emotions can rise to the surface because of his presence makes something ugly swirl in Lo'ak's stomach.

Lo'ak has become increasingly agitated by your budding friendship with his brother ever since that week-long hunting trip you shared with him. And now? Now he's just confused. Everything feels so different. He's almost positive that there's something more going on between you and Neteyam—something deeper than just a normal, platonic friendship. The nagging feeling inside him refuses to go away, and he can't understand why it hurts so much.

You and Lo'ak have always been best friends—nothing more and nothing less. He's watched you talk to other men in the clan. There were countless instances where guys would boldly make a pass at you, even with Lo'ak standing right there by your side. But he'd always just laugh it off or poke fun at you. Because deep down, he's confident none of them are truly worthy of you, and nothing serious will ever come out of those flirtations.

But things are different now. Along came Neteyam—the perfect little warrior son who defies each and every one of those odds. Lo'ak can't ignore the fact that his brother is more than good enough for you. In fact, Neteyam is probably one of the few clan members who could actually be considered suitable for someone like you. This harsh truth strikes Lo'ak like a massive weight dropping on his chest.

Because of this, it's increasingly difficult for Lo'ak to shake off the nagging suspicion that something must've happened between the two of you. His mind is practically racing as thoughts of what could have transpired between you and Neteyam play over and over again inside his head like a dissonant, never-ending loop. Because what the fuck was that back at the bottom of the waterfall? Even now, your scent lingers in the air like a constant reminder of how Neteyam put his hands on you, cruelly etched into Lo'ak's memory.

He tries to focus on anything else but that moment: the lush forest surrounding the waterfall, the light filtering through the rustling leaves above, a stingbat hanging from a tree branch. He even tries taking deep breaths to calm himself down, but nothing works. It's like the soundtrack of his thoughts can't be silenced. He's a swirling vortex of anger, confusion, and betrayal, demanding an outlet to release all the pent-up turmoil.

So as soon as the little waterfall outing is all said and done and you all return to Hometree, Lo'ak swiftly grabs Neteyam's arm, pulling him aside. A puzzled expression sweeps across Neteyam's features, which only fuels Lo'ak's rising frustration over the entire situation. But the tense silence hanging in the air is cut short by your concerned voice.

"Is everything okay?" You inquire, your wide eyes dancing back and forth between the two brothers, searching for some kind of explanation.

Lo'ak's eyes, previously burning with rage, soften as they shift from his brother to your worried face. You just have that effect on him.

With a brief nod of his head and a forced grin, Lo'ak tries to casually address your concerns. "Yeah, don't worry about it. I just need to talk to Neteyam about something." Sensing the tension ebbing away, he loosens his previously iron grip on his brother's arm, finally allowing it to drop altogether. "We'll catch up with you later."

Lo'ak holds his breath as you narrow your eyes at him, your face a clear mask of suspicion given his not-at-all-reassuring response. Your eyes dart toward Neteyam, who only offers you a shrug and a half-hearted smile. But clearly, he doesn't fully understand what's happening either.

Lo'ak doesn't let out the breath he's holding until you give him a reluctant nod in agreement before walking away.

Lo'ak's eyes are glued to your retreating form as you walk away, pushing past a group of low-hanging vines and disappearing into the distance. He refuses to tear his gaze away until he feels confident that you're far enough from him and his brother. With his heart pounding in his chest, he turns to face Neteyam, his eyes filled with accusation.

Without bothering to offer any preamble or context, he bluntly demands to know: "Did you fuck her?" This question has consumed him for what feels like an eternity—days melting into weeks.

Neteyam just blinks at Lo'ak, caught off-guard by the explosive confrontation. His forehead wrinkles, and his eyes squint towards his younger brother, clearly puzzled by the unexpectedness of the question. As shock gives way to disbelief, all he can muster in response is an incredulous "Are you serious?"

Lo'ak shoots back with a sarcastic huff of laughter, but his expression is anything but amused. "Dead serious, bro," he confirms, punctuating the statement with a firm nod of his head.

Neteyam's hands reach up seemingly unconsciously as they rake through his braids in clear frustration before rubbing at the sides of his temples. His eyes squeeze shut as he takes a moment to process the incredulity of it all before shaking his head and sighing heavily in exasperation.

He finally opens his eyes again and answers with unwavering certainty. "No," he replies with conviction, locking eyes with his brother to drive home the sincerity of his words.

Although Lo'ak finally feels a hint of relief surge through him at Neteyam's denial, the rage he's been harboring toward the entire situation continues to seethe just beneath the surface.

"But you want to, right?" he questions, his voice laced with a touch of hysteria, his frustration boiling over. "You just can't help yourself from taking the one person in my life who actually cares about me? You're that fucking selfish?" Lo'ak's mind races as he rambles on, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. His fists clench tightly at his sides, just itching to find their way to his brother's face.

Neteyam seems genuinely taken aback by Lo'ak's sudden outburst. He actually has the nerve to look like he's in disbelief. "That's not fair, and you know it," Neteyam says, his voice carrying a hint of hurt.

Lo'ak scoffs at Neteyam's defense, shaking his head in frustration. "Not fair? You're so full of shit," Lo'ak fires back. Because Neteyam will never understand. His life is picture-perfect. He doesn't have to carry the burden of being the second-born son—always the second thought, always living in someone else's shadow. He'll never get it.

Neteyam tries to reason with Lo'ak, his voice calm and pleading as if he's carefully picking each word to tread lightly on volatile ground. "Look, Lo'ak," he begins, his words measured like he'd practiced them already. It wouldn't really shock Lo'ak if that was the case.

"Y/n and I appreciate each other's company, but it's never crossed the boundaries of friendship. Still, I don't see why that matters. You told me the two of you are just friends, right?"

Lo'ak's silence hangs heavy in the air, as if the weight of the truth is finally sinking in. Neteyam's words weren't untrue; Lo'ak can't deny them. There were rumors floating around about you and him supposedly courting each other, barely over a year ago. You and he just laughed about it before mutually shutting everything down because you weren't anything more than friends. Aren't anything more than friends. But now the memories of those rumored whispers haunt him, like they're laughing at how stupid and confused he is about everything concerning you all of a sudden.

Lo'ak hesitates for what seems like an eternity, drawing a knowing smile from Neteyam, who then places a firm hand on top of Lo'ak's head like he's a little kid. The gesture only serves to intensify the fire burning within Lo'ak. Neteyam doesn't know anything about his friendship with you.

Frustration and anger bubble up within Lo'ak as he forcefully wrenches his brother's arm away from him. "Get your hands off me," he mumbles, taking several steps back to put some distance between them. "And keep your hands off y/n," he adds as an afterthought, his voice bitter with resentment.

The air between the two brothers is thick with tension and unresolved emotions. It's like a storm, just waiting to break loose. Their bond has always been iffy, but at this moment, it feels like it could be severed altogether by the thin thread barely keeping them connected.

It's too much.

Without another word, Lo'ak turns and walks away, each of his footsteps heavy with the weight of his tormenting feelings.

A/N: This feels so dramatic?? Lmfao this is exactly why I don't write angst, but I do have a second part sitting in my drafts 😼

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