#I also would recommend it to anyone who draws on an ipad

[bleaksqueak]

Well, I gave in. After going through three nibs and two screen protectors at a rapid rate, I decided to try out Rock Paper Pencil... it came just now, so... Prayer Circle to the Dark Gods that this thing is worth the price and lasts longer/works like it's advertised.

[lifeafterartsch00l]

My fav sns smut

or some of it anyway

If Naruto x Sasuke fking nasty is your ☕️

I tried to find all these beloved authors to tag them, but I couldn’t find them all, if you know who they are, plz tag them! Let’s share the ❤️

In no particular order

Healing the Broken by KizuKatana

When people tell me about smut they read in printed books I’m like

Because it’s fics like these that amaze me with their ingenuity, creativity, originality, and boldness 🔥🔥🔥

AKA

This fic isn’t just PWP (although that’s fine too in my book), it’s so well written with character development, action & romance ❤️‍🔥 Predators by the same author is also excellent 👌🏽

Thx u @kizukatana 😊

“Chapters: 23/23

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Underage

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke

Additional Tags: Angst, SPOILERS MANGA CHAPTER 693, Drug Use, sex during drug use, Canon-Typical Violence, canon!sasuke, canon!naruto, Addiction, Slash, narusasunaru, Fix-It, my version of how it should have ended, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, NSFW, Smut

Series: Part 1 of HTB universe

Summary: The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (slash - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.

Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) language, angst, mental illness, substance abuse, masturbation, eventual sex. Not appropriate for young readers. 18+

Disclaimer - As with everything I write on this site, I don't own the characters (Kishimoto does), and I make no money. My only payment is in reviews.

Spanish Translation by Linme (thank you!) “

[doujinshi] My Lost Himawari by SouthNorthSound

Me, to the artist (and English translator) of this visually stunning and well written doujinshi -

Seriously. It’s amazing. The visual metaphors. The angst. The way the artist can simply draw a single panel of a close-up Uchiha eye that is so outrageously sultry and sexy I don’t understand 🥵 one of the extra chapters unlocked something in me (the dream one). Bonus that it’s also really funny & has a lot of respect/empathy for its women characters too! If anyone knows who this artist plz let me know I would like to follow them until the end of the world ❤️ the ending healed me 💔

EDIT HOLY S*** GUYS I FOUND THE TRANSLATOR & ARTIST ON TUMBLR

Thx u @southnorthsound 😭❤️🫡🙇🏻‍♀️

Thx u @gigihorseinthehouse 😭 I love you I low key think you’re a genius ok sorry bye 👉🏽👈🏽

"https://archiveofourown.org/works/36581581

[doujinshi] My Lost Himawari by SouthNorthSound

Chapters: 60/60

Fandom: Naruto, Boruto: Naruto Next Generations

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Hyuuga Hinata, Uchiha Sarada, Uzumaki Boruto, Uzumaki Himawari, Hatake Kakashi, Nara Shikamaru, Temari (Naruto), Nara Shikadai, Akimichi Chouchou, Gaara (Naruto)

Additional Tags: Fanart, Fan Comics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, SasuNaru - Freeform, NaruSasu - Freeform, Translation, Doujinshi, Fix-It, how it should have ended, Angst, If you don’t understand how they ended up like that in Boruto READ THIS, Poetic, comedic, Loyal to canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, NSFW Art, Sex

Summary: A love story consists of different perspectives and different memories. It’s about saudade / realization / entanglement / out of control / hope / restart

Chapter700 background

Warning: adult content in extra chapters

Fan comics, doujinshi. It's highly recommended to read it on big screens such as iPad or PC. So you can see details about their facial expressions

One of the best Naruto fanart I’ve ever seen. So I translated it ❤”

Inevitablity by Sanauria_Maldhun

If the answer is

A) Yes

B) Kinda

C) Mind your own business rando internet pervert

Congrats all answers are correct = GO READ IT PLZ

Possessive & desperate 🥵 super gay, delicious angst, really hot 🔥 very enjoyable - fun tropes, everything hits just right, utter perfection ❤️ I’m not saying a lot because I don’t want to give away spoilers 😍

I couldn’t find this author on tumblr, plz tag in the comments if you know who they are!

“Chapters: 4/4

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino

Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura

Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, (between Ino and Naruto), Mutual Pining, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Banter, Domesticity, Pining, Naruto is so in love, and doesn't know how to handle his Feelings, Jealousy, Jealous Sasuke, Jealous Sakura, Post-Chapter 699 (Naruto), Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Gay Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Bottom Uzumaki Naruto, Top Uchiha Sasuke

Summary: Naruto's stressed and pining after a man who views him only as a friend. Deciding to get married to Ino isn't the best decision he's made (ever), given that they had been absolutely drunk while making such a declaration, but it's... a decision. Besides, what does he have to lose?”

You’ve gotten into my bloodstream (a bite of his heart) by lovenmaze

Nom nom nom 😉 kidding! Not literal cannibalism, it’s a metaphor for love, and this fic is beautiful 😍 poetic & sexy. One shot. Love how Naruto talks to Sasuke in this one (and makes him talk, too, hehe…) 🥵 delicious, please go tuck into this feast ❤️ author made an excellent fic playlist too!

Thx u @lovenmaze 😊

“https://archiveofourown.org/works/56430019

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Not Rated

Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto

Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto

Additional Tags: Cannibalistic Thoughts, Cannibalism imagery, First Time, Top Uzumaki Naruto, Bottom Uchiha Sasuke, Tender Sex, Blank Period (Naruto), Confessions, Idiots in Love, Not Beta Read, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Sex, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Smut, they’re both crazy about each other but thats not new, Poetic, Italicized Oh Moment, cannibalism as a metaphor for love, trust me it works and its SO good, consent is sexy !!!, lowkey vampire sasuke vibes

Summary: Sasuke tries to bite softly, he’s not going to eat him, maybe get a taste. Perhaps it’s stupid, but he wants to make sure, so he does. He opens his mouth, tongue touching the skin. His body shudders, and Naruto tastes warm, like skin or flesh; he tastes alive.

“A kiss is the beginning of cannibalism.”

AKA, The tender, fluffy, first-time, cannibalism (imagery), smut NaruSasu AU. [EDITED.]”

❤️Thx all u amazing authors u make me feel like this❤️

[cammiluna]

For maybe half a year, I wanted an Android tablet with a pen after hating the idea for almost a decade because Android's tablet ecosystem is garbage and it lacked good art software for a while.

Currently, there's a 2024 Galaxy S6 Lite refresh that's exclusive to Amazon at around $250, and I jumped on that to try out the Android artist space again.

Since I already have a tablet PC and an ipad to do my main art projects, I didn't need a high end android tablet. Just something I can take on my regular commutes for notes and doodles which the other two devices are too bulky for.

I can tell you though, that this is pretty slow. Takes a while to load anything, charges maybe half as fast as modern phones or tablets in the $500 range, and while Clip Studio ran fine for drawing, I've had slight lag using the Concepts App. I suspect you can't make print-resolution comics with this thing, but it draws, and i do all my media consumption on other devices anyway.

Another thing to note is that the pen (which is included, yay) looks exactly the same as the S-pens that come with the normal Galaxy S models (at least my S7 from a few years ago), but it's not as weighted because there's no bluetooth hardware inside. I'm drawing with it fine, though I do switch pens sometimes.

If anyone is interested, I can write a long info post one of these days about all the S-Pen alternatives I know of and tried. At first, I was gonna save up extra money to get the new XP-Pen android tablet, but I like the flexibility of Wacom-powered EMR pens where i can choose between things like comfortable grip or something that magnetically attaches to the device or something. It's also easier to get cute cases and screen protectors for samsungs since they've been around forever!

There's three versions of the S6 lite. The new one has a slight spec bump and runs Android 14, so it should last a few years (both the XP Pen and Huion Androids are permanently stuck on Android 12). I believe the 2020 version is still supported, upgradeable to Android 13 and the third version is the 2022 version. All three are exactly the same in size and features- they just have different processors and android versions out of the box.

Conclusion:

I won't call this a beginner's tablet. If you're a beginner artist who hates apple and wants a standalone drawing tablet, but you also happen to have $500-700 standing around, splurge in getting a better tablet. If you don't like it for drawing, it can still be used for media consumption.

I don't regret this purchase because it does what I need it to in the most basic sense, but I would only recommend it if your needs for an android drawing tablet are the same as mine (super casual art and being able to try out android versions of drawing apps), or you are on a super tight budget. I believe the Galaxy S9 FE and the XP-Pen Magic Drawing Pad are good mid-tier models while the normal Galaxy S9/Plus/Ultra are the high tier.

This is probably the cheapest EMR Android tablet that comes with a pen and oh boy does the pen write so smooth!

I wish i can retire from using an ipad for art, but I need to learn how to use Clip Studio first since I've become overly-dependent on Procreate.

ah well!

[ygodmyy20]

Getting to Know You Meme

Tagged by @texasdreamer01 (thankies texas!)

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? Yep, got married a month ago.

02) What was your dream growing up? Dream of what? My career? My life? My fantasy? I mean I wanted to be an elf in LoTR when I was like, 12. Does that count? hahah

03) What talent do you wish you had? Asking waiters to change my order if they got it wrong.

04) If someone bought you a drink what would it be? Beer (specifically a New England IPA)

05) Favorite vegetable? Hm. I really love good arugula.

06) What was the last book you read? None I just read fanfics haha

07) What zodiac sign are you? Leo

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Nope tho I wish to get a tattoo one day.

09) Worst Habit? Probably overthinking myself into a spiral.

10) What is your favorite sport? Dressage

11) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? Optimistic because lifes too short and I just want to be happy.

12) Tell me one weird fact about you. Uhhhhh.....I am a twin? (always a easy one haha)

13) Do you have any pets? Sadly no BUT I may.....may be trying to. foster a kitty. Maybe. While my husband is out of town for a month-long gig.

14) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Scary but also eh whatever.

15) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I can't answer this or else I'm gonna spiral.

16) What color eyes do you have? Blue

17) Ever been arrested? Nope

18) Bottle or can soda? Bottle

19) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Put it in my savings.

20) What's your favorite place to hang out at? Hm. Probably at home or in the woods.

21) Do you believe in ghosts? I dunno

22) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Writing, drawing fanarts, horseback riding.

23) Do you swear a lot? Yeah

24) Biggest pet peeve? I dunno, I don’t know if I have one? Depends on the person or circumstance or situation:

25) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Hm. Emotional.

26) Do you believe/appreciate romance? I’m a hopeless romantic. And I got married and kinda like this guy a whole dang lot.

27) Favourite and least favourite food? Fav: sushi. Least fav: I’m honestly not a huge fan of potatos….

28) Do you believe in God? I believe in a universe. Wherever god is in it I got no clue.

29) What makes you happy: Sharing my art with friends, having movie nights with husband on Fridays.

30) Currently listening/the last thing you listened to: Ado

31) Favorite place to spend time: Probably at home, or out i the woods.

32) Favorite lyric: Goodbye by Bo Burnham

Am I going crazy? Would I even know? Am I right back where I staretd fourteen years ago?

33) Recommend a film: Akira

34) Recommend a book: haven't read enough

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album: Fire Hell and Holy Water by Gioli & Assia

36) Recommend a TV show: Mob Psycho 100

37) Where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived? I am from the midwest and am still in the midwest

38) Do you have any pets or animals in your life? How did you find/get them? I had cats growing up and I would love to get one. I also ride horses.

39) What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Uhhhh. Hm. I am not sure.

40) How did you 'find' fandom? I got into Yugioh! when I was 12 and started writing fanfics and them opps here i am.

41) Make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up. My Teru and Mob figures, my Mob cat, my cat lamp, my ipad, my water bottle. I am at my desk there is a lot here

42) How do you style your hair? Down or half ponytail or pony tail. I have long hair.

I got this ask before the other writer one so I know many asks have been going around today haha so VERY much no pressure tags: @russenoire @thousand-winters @toastytoaster22 @emeraldoodles or anyone else who wants to!

[theoldbloomingroots]

what program do you use for sculpting, and what tips would you give for sculpting?

Thanks for the ask!

I use nomad sculpt on an ipad.

for general sculpting tips:

1. It may be a bit obvious but I recommend blocking out the major forms using simple shapes first. After that you can merge some of the shapes and use strong brushes and boolean and cutting tools to refine the shapes until you like the silhouette and proportions.

At this stage you should still keep the sculpt very rough and almost sloppy (because this is basically a sketching phase) so you can freely experiment with the shapes, silhouette and gesture.

It's really important to get the proportions and silhouette right before adding any kind of detail. (up until this point I recommend using a lower polygon resolution because it's much easier to edit).

After that you can start smoothing the uneven surfaces and start defining the details or you can even use the rough shapes just as a guide for modeling, and delete them later.

2. Always use reference, at least when you're a beginner, it really helps to build your visual library and deepens your understanding of the subject.

It's especially useful to look at traditional sculptures made by professionals if you're trying to sculpt something that doesn't esly translate into thick 3d forms suitable for 3d printing or non photorealistic game models, like hair, fur or thin fabric.

3. I do not recommend modeling characters by trying to match character sheets as closely as possible (I mean those that show the character in orthographic view from front and side) because:

One, the 2d drawings are not constrained by the limitations of 3d and it's really easy to draw something that looks right but is actually impossible to model or just looks wonky in 3d.

Two, while the front and side view may look fine the angled views often look off.

Third, the proportions that look good in an orthographic view often don't fully work in 3D because of perspective.

For all of those reasons I generally recommend keeping the reference of to the side and „translate” the design to 3d instead of copying it

As for nomad specific tips:

1. The most useful tools for me are the trim tool and clay and move brushes.

They let you quickly and easily edit the sculpt in the initial shaping phase.

2. Do not underestimate the tube tool, it lets you freely edit the cross section shape (prophile), thickness and twist anywhere along the length of the path. Great for quickly setting up limbs and organic shapes, but also creating sharp corners or custom geometric shapes.

3. There's way too much to explain about those so I will just say, familiarize yourself with all the repeater objects, they are really easy to use (unlike in blender) and very powerful, especially the curve tool, which is basically the tube tool on steroids.

And remember that you can combine all of them by putting them under each other in hierarchy, so you can for example mirror an object by parenting it to a mirror and then parent the mirror to a curve in effect creating a curving path of any length of those mirrored objects.

The response got a bit lengthy but I hope any of these tips will be of use to you or anyone else who stumbles upon this post!

[lollytea]

What are your thoughts on Luz bringing the hexsquad to school for them to check it out? What would they enjoy, what would bamboozle them, would they absolutely have to sneak in like Luz had to Hexside?

Asgdhjkl Luz is only one person and Willow and Gus still got caught sneaking her in. Imagine Luz's efforts to discreetly smuggle in four kids, all of whom have a bad habit of being....peculiar by human standards. It would be hard not to arouse suspicion.

Leaving for school in the mornings is hard for Luz cuz they linger in the doorway with their big sad eyes. They miss her not being around.

I could see them longing to explore Luz's school. Their curiosity to see what she does all day is insatiable. It's only Gus that's shameless enough to beg. He'll wait at the door to ambush her. He'll spit out his pitch rapid-fire as to why Augustus Porter should attend human school for a day. He negotiates and he bargains his ass off until eventually he is on the floor, gripping Luz's ankles, pleading.

Hunter takes this moment to pop up and say "I don't recommend taking Gus to school with you. Who knows the kind of trouble he could get himself into."

"Exactly! Thank you, Hunter!" Luz exclaims trying to shake Gus off her leg. "It's too risky to just-"

"Unless!" Hunter powers on. "He was supervised. By somebody older. Somebody responsible. Somebody who knows how to handle him."

Luz is thoroughly unamused.

Hunter blushes "Somebody liiiike...."

"Me!" Declares Willow, scaring Hunter out of skin as she suddenly appears next to him. "Once Gus's hyperactivity contaminates Hunter's brain and you know it will, you'll need somebody to supervise both of them."

"You're not coming either, Willow. I'm sorry."

"Aw man..."

"Guys, you gotta stop bugging Luz about this. If she's gonna bring anyone to school with her, it's gonna be her girlfriend."

"Amity..."

"We could hold hands in the hallway 🥺"

"Don't do this to me, sweet potato..."

See THIS is why they're all huddled around an ipad here

They get restless when Camila and Luz are gone for the day so they give them a screen that mezmerises them until they get back so so they're not inclined to go stirring up a ruckus.

Anyway in the chance that they DO get to explore the school, I figure they'd be enthused but bewildered.

I'm kinda drawing a blank on the big things that would confuse them cuz for the most part Hexside is very similar to a regular human school. They have a bell, an intercom, lockers, clubs, ridiculous teen drama. So they're accustomed to a lot of stuff.

I think the biggest thing that the kids just cannot wrap their heads around is the lack of Boiling Isles flair.

"So you guys have a grom..."

"It's called prom actually."

"Right, right, but there's no monster to fight??"

"Exactly."

"Then what's the fucking point???"

I don't think any of the kids can fathom that sports can exist without magic. They're fucking gobsmacked to learn about human sports. Like?? No chance of dying?? No annihilating the opposite team with offensive spells?? What do they even do then??

I think, despite the initial confusion, it would fascinate both Willow and Hunter and they would stick around to watch a football or basketball practise or whatever Luz's school's main sport is. I think Hunter would be interested in any activity that makes you look awesome and badass without needing magic, while Willow just thinks it's really cool and innovative how the game revolves entirely around your strength and speed and stamina. As somebody who loves working out, she can appreciate that.

I could see Amity being really intrigued by whatever business is going on in the science lab. Chemistry specifically. Being an abomination specialist, she'd be eager to mix some weird human shit around and see if she can bring something to life. Luz is pretty sure she can't do that so it's safe to just let her at it, but also keeps an eye on her just in case.

Gus just...Gus loves everything because of course he does. Goes apeshit over a GLOBE. Willow, Hunter fucking LOOK AT THIS!! THIS IS A DIORAMA OF THE WHOLE HUMAN REALM!!! AND IT SPINS!!!!

Sees a poster of the whole solar system and loses his entire goddamn mind.

Stumbles upon the library and gets kicked out after ten minutes for squealing and yelling from the overload of human culture everywhere but it was the greatest ten minutes of his life.

Gus discovers whiteboards and markers and learns that you can scribble all over the board and then wipe it off. He's amazed. He has his fun with it until the marker dries up.

Once he finally wanders back to the rest of the gang, he informs them that he has joined the chess club, the DnD club and the anime club. No, he does not know what any of these things are but he's enthusiastic.

Hunter, meanwhile, has been staring at an algebraic equation on a whiteboard for the last hour now. He doesn't understand what kind of code it is but he's determined to figure it out.

Luz is like "You really don't know math?"

"I can count. But what does math have to do with this?"

"Hunter...buddy...this is human math..."

"No way..."

"Yeah way."

"Why the fuck are there letters in it???"

[tothepointofinsanity]

You might have gotten this one before but what art program do you use? I have a cheap one that doesn't work so good so I was wondering if you had any recommendations

I really like your art and I hope to make something that looks as cool as yours someday! Keep up the great work!

Hello! Thank you for the ask! I actually haven’t had anyone ask this question yet, so no worries.

I’m not sure if you’re using an art tablet or computer, because I have somewhat of an idea that those use different art programs better suited for them. I use an iPad to make my drawings, and my main art program is Procreate. However, Procreate is notably a very solid painting-based application, so depending on your art style as well, the wide set of tools provided by this program may or may not be easier to use. I lack the skills to paint, so the art you see on my page are created using the sketch and pencil tools. Some people might say Procreate is only for the professionals and “real” “serious” artists, but never let anyone put the idea that only the best can pick up a paintbrush. Additionally, there are also a lot of videos on YouTube that could give more professional advice on how to adapt to the art program. The primary drawback is that it costs…money, and is limited to the iOS bloodline.

An art program I would actually recommend is Ibis Paint X, which should run fine both on android and iOS devices. Ibis was my secondary art program [or more accurately, the second art program I started using after MediBang], and it has more options for individuals who prefer line-based “anime” creations, although I have definitely seen more than nutty creations that go beyond the expectations of normality from the app. It’s so convenient to use that people without a digital drawing pen can still draw undisturbed with their fingers alone. The main drawback, if I’m not mistaken, is that most tools require you to watch an advertisement before being able to use it, since it is a free application. It also has a wide variety of filters and not just layer effects you could apply to your works. ^^

Well, all these recommendations may be null since at the end of the day I’m not sure if they are compatible with your current device, so I apologise if what I essentially said was all a nothing burger. You should also go with whatever application you’re most comfortable using with regardless of your experience with art <- important

Thank you for the kind words as well 🙏 Keep drawing and you’ll soon develop your own beloved unique works and style!

[bradcolbow]

What is the Best Art Software for Digital Illustration?

If you're trying to mimic traditional media, using charcoals, oils, watercolor, pencils and brushes, then you want a drawing software specifically for painting!

With so many options available, it becomes hard to make a choice that would best suit the kind of art you want to make, whether you're just starting as a beginner or are a professional.

What you'd generally want is a digital illustration software that is compatible with the device you're using, supports the kinds of tools you need for the art you create, the cost, and any additional features that a creative can play around with.

Some digital art software may even be outdated, while others keep experimenting and keep further development at the forefront.

Different digital artists look for various features in the software they'd prefer to use.

In addition, The price point is always something to consider, but not to worry, there are just as many free alternatives to good quality software as paid ones.

Considering all of this, here's a comprehensive list of the digital art software that has the potential to be the right fit for you.

10 Best Free and paid Art Software for Digital Painting & Illustration

These are the 10 art programs that I personally like and would recommend:

If you want more info about them, I suggest you visit pctechtest site.

1. Photoshop

Photoshop is the industry standard, and preferred among most professionals, but it costs an ongoing subscription fee.

Photoshop's brushes work so much better, virtually no lag and a lot of variety. Importing brushes from pros also works easily because.. most pros use Photoshop.

2. Clip Studio Paint

Clip Studio Paint is the best for doing Line Art, Paintings, Comics/Manga, and even 2D Animation.

Clip Studio has a lot of the tools Photoshop does, but is just more intuitive for the average artist. Also it is a one time buy, you don't need a subscription.

Users value its quick loading time, lack of lag, pen stabilization for clean line art, and ability to export in PSD format for easy editing.

3. Krita

A lot of people use Krita as it's free and have plenty of useful tools and brushes, but there is some learning curve to getting the most out of it.

4. Corel Painter

Corel Painter feels like an entire art store full of stuff, very realistic brushes especially for water colour and charcoal etc.

5. Rebelle

Rebelle is a top choice for artists seeking a realistic, versatile, and user-friendly digital painting experience that's competitively priced.

Rebelle is really amazing at making painting feel very close to what is to paint on an actual canvas. The products you use like the paint and the canvas have an amazing interaction.

6. ArtRage

ArtRage is also an excellent and easy to use paint app that does a great job of simulating the flow and texture of real oils and watercolours.

7. Sketchbook Pro

Sketchbook Pro is a great tool to sketch when it comes to freehand drawings. Airbrush feature along with copic colors makes it perfect for art.

8. Medibang Paint

MediBang Paint is a free, lightweight and easy to use art program suitable for users who loves to illustrate!

9. Procreate

Procreate is a premium quality, low-cost app on Apple ipad for artists of every kind.

With abundant customizable features, expandability, and an attractive and intuitive user experience, anyone can create 2D and 3D paintings, drawings, hand lettering, and animations.

10. Paint tool SAI

Paint tool SAI is absolutely amazing for digital painting, but only available on windows devices.

It is so responsive to the pressure and movement of the pen and it's great. Once you get the hang of it, it isn't hard to use at all and you make amazing paintings.

What's The Difference Between Digital Art and Graphic Design?

Digital art is a form of art that involves the use of digital tools to produce images and videos.

Meanwhile, graphic design is a profession that combines artwork, text, and typography for use in advertising, web design, and other forms of communication.

Digital Designers rely on graphic design software to create, edit, and view graphic art.

Krita vs Photoshop - Which Program is for You?

If you're into basic drawing and sketching, A simple painting program like Krita might be enough.

But if you're a professional artist needing advanced editing, photo manipulation, vector graphics, or extensive text tools, then a photo retouching software like Photoshop is the best.

To let you know, Photo Editing software allows users to stitch images the way they want, which can make all the difference in the final look of your photos. such as online photo editor, RAW photo editor, etc.

Do I need a pen tablet to use with art program for drawing?

For hardware, outside of a half-decent computer and monitor, you may eventually want a drawing tablet with pen, whether that's a screenless (such as classic Wacom tablets), or a drawing tablet with display.

You don't need one to get started, and they take some learning of their own, especially screenless. Screenless graphic tablets for beginners are available for under $100, screen-in start around $200 for a very small decent one and go up from there.

Conclusion

Drawing software is an essential tool for an artist or illustrator, professional to novice wishing to create digital art.

The most important thing you need to consider when choosing the best drawing software is that you're comfortable with it.

If you want a powerful drawing program that will give you the best possible experience you want Photoshop, Clip Studio Paint or other paid software.

If you can't afford them, I recommend going with free software like Krita or Medibang Paint instead.

Free software can sometimes be less intuitive, but with use, you'll get used to it instantly and let your creativity flow.

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

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[jae-daddy]

Duff (9)

im jaebum au series 

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven  masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader  genre: angst, smurt, cheating plot: you are the duff and guys use you to get close to your best friend, Heather, and turns out Jaebum is no exception, but as time does on the tension between you and your best friend’s unofficial boyfriend grows a/n: a short one, because I really truly hated where I had left the story last time. it was not it, but I like this. it’s better than the alternative I guess. also, I am writing all of it before publishing it so <3 hope yall like it <3 

You don’t know what came first; the guilt, embarrassment or hurt. 

But you knew yourself well, and you knew guilt didn’t touch your heart until later that night when you were lying in bed. As you stared up at the ceiling, thinking about that him, for the first time guilt laid its icy fingertips on you. 

The first thing you felt was hurt. Hurt that clawed at your heart, and made your soul whimper. Hurt that cut through you entirely as you remained in his arms, watching his face. 

“Yes,” he had said, his fingers digging into your hips. 

“Yes,” you replied, breathing him in as you leaned closer to him. 

You saw his lips draw into a straight line as he pulled away and said, “No.”

“Oh,” was all you said moving away from him. 

A simple sound, not even a word to express the pain that seared through you at his words. 

No.

He didn’t want you. 

Im Jaebum didn’t want you. 

You were in his arms, your skirt drawn up to your hips as you sat on his lap. In a single breath, he changed the moment completely, and you were no longer burning in passion, but in agony. Agony of not being desired by this man, not being wanted by him, when you yearned for him. When you were begging for his lips to touch any part of you, he had turned away. 

And then came the embarrassment blazing through the darkness of lust, and it hurt. It stabbed you everywhere till you were shivering in sudden coldness. You were so embarrassed, so ashamed. You had- you had done... all of that, and all he said was ‘no.’ 

It wasn’t the rejection that the embarrassment stemmed from. It was because you had tried, because you thought it would happen, because you thought he wanted you. Because you had offered yourself to him, and all he said to express his repugnance was a simple ‘no.’ 

You climbed off him and walked out the office. Your face was on fire from the shame as you straightened your skirt. You chuckled to yourself thinking a walk of shame was better then trying to hook up with your boss only to be rejected. 

You finished work that day, and the next, like nothing was amiss. As if that moment didn’t happen. As if every time you saw him, you weren’t reminded that he didn’t want you. 

Im Jaebum didn’t want you. 

It shouldn’t hurt that bad, especially since you almost swore you hated him with your heart. But it did, it hurt truly terribly badly, and there was nothing you could do about it. 

You couldn’t even feel sorry for yourself long enough too. Because as soon as the hurt and shame went away, and you looked up at your dark ceiling, you remembered her face. 

You remembered the way she had held your hand whenever you were scared. How she would give you that look every time she took your hand giving her courage. Her love, her kindness, her friendship, her. 

How for the first time since you’ve known her... for the first time, it seemed as if Heather truly liked someone and you... 

You didn’t feel sorry for yourself, or your heart that ached. You weren’t sure if the ache was because of the rejection or from the thought of loosing your best friend. But you didn’t feel sorry because what happened was your fault.

“Thanks for the files, y/n,” Jaebum looked up from his desk. For the first time, he was seated in the big boss seat without any reason. You smiled and nodded, before turning to leave, like nothing was amiss. As if that afternoon had never happened, as if you had never crossed that line.

You were almost out the door when he said, “Have a good weekend.”

Your fingers turned white on the handle, but you nevertheless you turned around and gave him a bright smile, “You too, Mr Im.” 

// 

Heather pouted as she sat next to you, before pulling you into a big bear hug. 

“It’s so nice to have my best friend back,” she sang, happily, hugging you tighter. 

You gave her small smile as you leaned into her, petting her arm, “It’s nice to be back.”

“Gosh, I’m so glad you’re done with that internship,” she huffed over the loud music of the club. 

You only nodded as you took a sip of your drink, “I still have three weeks left, Heather.” 

“Three weeks pass by like nothing,” she shook her head. She turned to you with a bright smile, “Remember Bali? Maybe now that you’re going to be more free, maybe we can...” 

She gave you a huge grin, quizzically raising her brows up and down to the music. Before she began bopping her head like a dork to the beat, “What do you say, y/n?” 

I’m sorry. 

“Whatever you want,” you smiled at her, and she exclaimed in joy. 

// 

“Mr Park Jinyoung is now officially the CEO of Spring Industries, and has sent forward a report and plan for their proposal,” You looked up to see Jaebum opening his mouth, but you cut him off knowing his question. “The file is already on your desks, and I have included a summary report from myself and Mr Paul.” 

You had a month and a bit to think about what had happened. In the beginning, you had blamed yourself. It was foolish of you to put yourself out there for him, but the more you thought about the angrier you got. 

It wasn’t all in your head. Im Jaebum did flirt with you. 

He gave you all the signals, all the green lights, and the arrows leading you to him. He basically had made a pathway for you to follow into his arms, and after all that he said no? 

No. 

No, it wasn’t your fault for putting yourself out there for him. You had done it because you thought... you felt that he too... but who knows, Im Jaebum was friendly with everyone. 

But he did tell others his wish was to kiss them?

Did he ever follow anyone to the rooftop of a club and call himself a fool for letting them go?

Did he talk to everyone about his mother?

Did he smile like that at everyone? Look at them like that? Touch them with the faintest touch of his fingertips?

But you should’ve known better. 

These rich guys never go for girls like you. 

You don’t have any money, any wealth, nothing to offer them to make their status go up. You weren’t even pretty enough to be a trophy wife. You were just a girl they could play with behind closed doors. 

But for Jaebum, you weren’t even worth that.

“Spring Industries is having a party on Thursday to announce Park Jinyoung as their new appointed CEO. They have requested your presence to show the companies are friendly--,” you once again looked up from your iPad, to find Jaebum staring at you intently. You ignored his gaze, and the rage that fumed inside you, “It’s most likely a political publicity stunt, but I would recommend you do go to the party, as it will be beneficial for you both-”

“What am I going to do about you?” 

“Excuse me?” You gasped, taken aback. 

Jaebum chuckled, humourlessly. His lips twisted into a smirk, and you realised you hadn’t seen him smile or laugh in a really long time. You tried to shove the pain shooting towards your heart away, but a pang still rang through you as you saw his sad smile. 

“How am I going to do this all without you?” He clarified himself. You stammered unable to think of something to say. Jaebum let out a sigh, “Come to the party with me.” 

“I’m afraid that’s-”

Jaebum interrupted you, making you frown. 

“Your last assignment as my secretary, Miss y/n,” Jaebum tilted his head to the side, smiling slightly as he said, “Come with me.” 

No. 

“What about Heather?” 

“I can’t go to formal gatherings with her without others assuming it's a political play,” Jaebum answered, before shrugging, “It’s too early for that step anyway.” 

Too early? They have been dating for months now, and Heather was head over heels for him, and he is saying it’s too early. 

“I-”

“Please, y/n,” Jaebum’s dark eyes bore into yours, and you held your breath. “One last time.” 

"Alright,” you sighed, defeated. 

“Thanks.” 

Thanks, love, the ghost of his past self whispered.

You swallowed the bitterness, before looking down at your iPad once again. 

“Mr Henry and Mark are...” you continued on as if nothing was wrong. 

Because nothing was wrong. 

Everything was right. 

You were about to end this dreadful internship, and come out debt free. 

Heather was in love with her boyfriend. 

Her boyfriend didn’t fuck her best friend. 

And your best friend was still your best friend. 

Everything was just right, but everything felt so wrong. 

// 

You were leaning against the rich white leather sofa and Heather’s shoulders. Your eyes were closed, as you tried not to break down in front of your best friend. 

You knew Jaebum wasn’t going to be here tonight. It was Friday night and he had a company dinner with the upper shareholders today. So, tonight you decided to sleep over at Heather’s house. 

Just like every moment you spent with her now, you wanted to burst out into tears and tell her everything. Tell her how you fell for him and his teasing words. How you didn’t mean to but you started to like him, how your heart ached every time you saw him. How terrible you felt every time you saw Heather smile at you like that, knowing that you were so close to ruining everything. 

“Hey, what’s wrong, babe?” Heather asked, her soft hands wiping the tears that fell onto your cheeks. 

You shook your head and moved away from her shoulder. You leaned into the corner of your sofa, and tried to hold in the tears. But you couldn’t. 

Your chin began to shake as more tears fell from your eyes. 

“Hey, hey, hey, y/n,” Heather moved towards you quickly. “What’s wrong, babe? You can tell me anything.” 

You shook your head, you couldn’t tell her this. You couldn’t tell her this. You couldn’t lose her. 

“I’m sorry, Heather,” you whispered into her tank top as she pulled your shaking body into her. 

“Shhh,” she hushed, brushing your hair, trying to calm your sobbing body, “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s only to be okay. I’m here for you, I’m always going to be here for you. Okay?” 

You bit your lip as you cried harder. You managed a meek okay through your tears. 

After you had calmed down a bit, you leaned back and looked at your best friend. Her eyes were glistening with concern, and a few stray tears running down her face too from seeing you cry. 

You couldn't hide it from her, she was your other half. You had to tell her, but all you could manage was, “I love him, Heather.” 

I love Im Jaebum.

[alkalinefrog]

hey, so, I had an art related question... if all of this is too much, feel free to ignore it.

the backstory is that I've had the same laptop since early high school but recently I had a birthday (I'm 28 now). my parents got me an HP laptop, and my friend got me a tablet, which she bought off of an online friend for $30. the problem is that I haven't had new technology like... ever? none that was actually mine anyway, and certainly nothing that could handle me using it for art.

and this is especially a problem when it comes to the tablet. my friend helped me get firealpaca onto the laptop, and get the tablet set up with the right drivers, aaaaand... I cannot make one line that looks good using it. I've been using pen and paper for so long and I have a really light touch, and it feels like I have to jam the pen down to get it to register, at which point I might as well have not set the pen sensitivity to anything at all because the thickest line is the only kind I can make?? any lighter and it won't show up on the screen at all. like I can ctrl+z and it doesn't even go back a step, the line didn't get drawn. there's like a 20% chance that any line I try to put down won't actually register. and tbh this isn't really what I had wanted... it's a huion tablet, which is the brand I wanted, but I was gonna buy myself one where you can see what you're drawing on the screen of the tablet itself. not just due to coordination issues, I think I could get used to that part, but because I feel like I wouldn't be having this specific problem with getting things to register. every single line I make looks like crap with this tablet, it makes me feel like I might as well be drawing with my feet, and I've been fidgeting with settings, and it doesn't seem like anything helps. I also still don't have a mouse for the laptop yet, so I can't click and drag anything very well because it has a trackpad, so messing with sliders is already aggravating.

I feel so lost and overwhelmed, and like if I buy anything else, I'm just going to end up with more unusable stuff because *I'm* probably the problem. I just don't know anything, and trying is mentally fatiguing me so quickly... my brain knows what I want my art to look like, and my hands can do it with a real pen. I just have absolutely no clue how to make this machine produce anything.

so I guess my questions are stuff like, what equipment do you use? are there tablets that will register a light touch or am I really going to have to be this heavy handed in order to work with one? what resolution/canvas size do you usually work on? any recommendations for what program to use?

overall, I'd really like to get myself something that feels more intuitive than the tablet... honestly, I was finding some success drawing with just my finger on the touch screen of my phone at one point. there were still a lot of problems with that, but the nail in the coffin was that my phone's memory space filled up and I had to get rid of the drawing app to make it functional again (it's an iphone, which is why). maybe I should just get an ipad or something...? though, one more thing on the mountain of potential options is the last thing my crumbling ADHD brain needs. I've been taking a break from art in general because I've still maintained my 40-hours-a-week work schedule through the whole pandemic... I do 10 hour shifts and work overnight, so I technically have free time since I only work 4 days a week, but the type of work I do leaves me with no energy at all. so I've been in an art slump and I've been wanting to get out of it, but this is just making art feel impossible, even though the whole reason why I've always wished I could draw digitally is so that I can color digitally. I had been drawing things in pen and scanning them to color in photoshop, but cleanup takes so long that I literally can't produce finished work anymore. I'm out of options that aren't prohibitively labor intensive and frustrating.

this was probably way too much information, but if you have any advice I'd be really grateful.

Huh, well first off HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!! Congrats on the sweet new tech (even if it's been a bit frustrating) and well-deserved celebration!

From the sounds of it I think the main issue is probably your tablet (this is pure speculation on my end though, so you know, grain of salt and all). You're right in that you shouldn't have to fight against your equipment. I have a really light touch too and I've never had the same issue. I personally don't have any experience with huion tablets, but if you're having trouble getting your lines to register then it might have been worn down by the previous user. It's not so much about buying a monitor (the screen one) vs. tablet so much as getting working equipment.

An iPad is a great alternative!! I've played around with the apple pencil and procreate and it's a super intuitive program with (obviously) super easy set up! You get the drawing on the screen AND really nice pen pressure. I'm really happy seeing it opening up new doors for more people to get into digital art!

In terms of your current laptop/tablet situation:

My set up rn is pretty pricey ngl; I have a PC desktop computer with a 16 inch Wacom Cintiq. Getting started in digital art doesn't mean you have to drop a bag on a ton of equipment right from the get go though! If you're looking for a safe small investment, I'd recommend getting a Wacom Bamboo pen tablet!

This lil' baby right here is what I started with!! I think cost-wise it floats around 70ish bucks, but that's exponentially more affordable than buying a huge monitor. One of my friends who's also a pro artist uses a similar small tablet because it works great! That's an alternative that might be worth looking into.

You can also get free trials on other drawing programs (clip studio paint is a great one!) To test and see if it's a software issue with firealpaca.

You could also try checking online forums to see if anyone else is running into similar issues, or watch some YouTube videos of people reviewing different tablets. I know this might be even more overwhelming, so I'd try and narrow the scope to focus on one thing at a time.

My best advice right now would actually be to get a mouse, or any other accessories you need. I've also been in your shoes where I was completely overwhelmed, and I can say that checking off all the small easy things makes a HUGE difference! It makes you feel more in control of the situation, and even if you're still having trouble with digital art you can at least get more comfortable using your laptop in the mean time.

You got this dude!! I believe in you!!

EDIT:

Thanks @wooliebirds!

[not-xpr-art]

Art Advice #4 - A Beginner’s Guide to Digital Art

Hi all!

This weeks entry into my Art Advice tag, where I offer various advice for artists of any skill level, is about digital art! Now, I am by no means an expert at digital (I’ve been doing it for nearly 8 years at this point and that is almost entirely self taught), but I have picked up a few pointers in that time which will hopefully help anyone just starting out!

(this blogpost is a little over 2000 words long btw)

A Beginner’s Guide to Digital Art 

I know that the world of digital art has changed drastically in the 8 odd years since I started, but I’d still say that some of the options I started out with will be just as good for anyone who’s starting out now! 

As always, I’ll be splitting this into sections to make it easier for you to navigate this post!

Part 1 - Equipment/Hardware 

There are a lot of drawing tablet options on the market at the moment, and I’m not going to pretend that I know anything about half of them lol. But I think for a beginner, don’t worry about going for the most expensive option, even if the reviews are really good or your favourite artist uses it, especially if it is way above your budget! 

An important thing to know is that there are two types of tablet. One is the plug-in kind. These are essentially a pad which you plug into your laptop or computer and draw on that whilst looking at the screen (they basically work the same way as a plug in mouse works). The other kind is the screen variety, which is a lot more like what most of us know as ‘tablets’ nowadays. And you draw directly onto the screen. 

(a plug-in vs on screen tablet, both from Wacom)

Now, as for choosing between these, it is honestly a personal choice. But I’d say if you’re just wanting to try digital and you’re on a budget, a plug-in tablet can be really useful since it gets you used to the mechanics of what digital is like, and they are often significantly cheaper than the screen alternatives. I would say that plug-in tablets are a big learning curve, especially if you’re used to doing traditional stuff, but I do know a lot of professional artists who still use this kind of tablet when doing their work, so if it’s something you can get used to I would definitely consider it! Also, they’re often a lot more portable than some screen tablets! The first one I had was a Huion (a model so old that I can’t even find a link to it now lol), and I also know that Wacom are a well known brand that do some decent plug-in tablet. I’d recommend you do your own research on other brands and options, though!

Screen tablets are often a lot more expensive, but if you’re used to traditional art, they are a lot easier to get a handle of! But I know if you already have something like an iPad, or other general use tablets, then they offer apps that you can use to draw on (as well as things like the Apple pen, or other stylus’). The big difference between using these general tablets and ones specifically designed for drawing is pretty much purely a personal choice. I personally prefer the bigger screen of my XP-Pen tablet, along with a special screen protector that removes the shininess of the tablet screen and makes it feel more like ‘paper’ over when I used a general use tablet it draw. But if you already have an iPad, or something similar, then it’s honestly a really great starting point!

I think it’s important for me to mention that you don’t need fancy equipment to be an artist. The incredible Elicia Donze has revealed countless times how she has very basic equipment but still manages to produce the most stunning artworks! All you really need is some kind of drawing apparatus and a lot of patience lol! Getting good at any kind of art takes a lot of time and effort, but I would definitely say it’s worth it when you’re able to look back at your progress!

Part 2 - Software/Drawing Programs 

Much like with the hardware discussion, choosing which program to use is entirely down to personal preference. I personally have never really liked Photoshop purely because it’s really complicated, but I know so many artists swear by it. 

I think the main aspect to consider when you’re starting out is whether you want to pay for a program. Software like Photoshop, Clip Studio Paint and Procreate are some of the popular ones I hear about a lot of people using, but all require you to purchase or subscribe to them. So if you’re young or on a very tight budget, I’d honestly recommend the free alternative versions of these, such as Krita (Krita is quite a large program, but it has a lot of really awesome features and is very similar to Photoshop!), Gimp (this one is similar to Krita, but has slightly less options, I’d honestly recommend Gimp for anyone who does photo editing though!) or FireAlpaca (this is the one I use, by the way and it’s a pretty simple program, but has a lot of fantastic features and is perfect for how I work!). These don’t have as many features as some of the paid alternatives, but I honestly think all you really need to start digital art is some kind of ‘canvas’ and set of brushes!

Another great free program for beginners I’d recommend is MyPaint, which is great for doodling and just getting used to how digital art feels in comparison to traditional! It also has a bunch of ‘traditional style’ brushes, to make it look like charcoal or watercolour (which I’m sure the paid alternatives have too, but it’s always better when it’s free, I find lol...)

(this is an example of a drawing I did on MyPaint using the ‘charcoal’ effect brush!)

Most of the sites are pretty self explanatory, with sections dedicated to different brushes (I’ll go into the types of brushes later on in this post btw!), adjusting brush size, shape and opacity, a colour wheel, etc. You also have a section dedicated to ‘layers’ (another thing I’ll go into more detail later), and various ‘filters’ and editing options and effects you can add to your work to make it more interesting!

I’d really just recommend playing around with programs until you find your one!

Part 3 - The Pros of Digital Art!

I realise this section should probably earlier in this blog post lol, but I kinda wanted to go into what digital art can achieve in comparison to traditional art, and how beginner artists can utilise this!

I definitely didn’t take advantage of certain aspects of digital art when I first got into it, and they’re things that would have definitely made my life a whole lot easier lol!

Digital art allows you to tweak drawings as you do them. So if you accidentally drew the eye too far to the right, then you can easily move it to the right place. (I usually do this by selecting whichever area is wrong, cutting it out and then pasting it into a new area... And yes, there is probably a better and quick way of doing this but...I haven’t found that way yet lol...). And I honestly think that this has allowed me to look a lot more at a reference image in order to figure out where I’ve gone wrong with a drawing! Whereas with traditional art, I usually spend so long trying to get an eye right, that even if it’s slightly in the wrong place, I don’t want to completely redo that section. Digital allows you to completely rub out sections without leaving indents, which is honestly such a saving grace!

Another pro of digital is the Undo/Ctrl Z function! This means you can easily go back to before you made a major mistake with just a click of Ctrl Z... Though I have to say that this function has honestly ruined traditional art for me... Oh what wouldn’t I give for a real life Ctrl Z... But yeah, this is a great part of digital art and definitely something you will grow to love lol!

Another great thing about digital is that it allows you to flip and turn a canvas as you’re drawing on it. I spent a lot of time trying to turn my tablet around in order to draw certain parts of a piece before I realised you can turn the canvas itself without having to move yourself or your tablet!

Layers are another part of digital that can be super useful, and I have to be honest but I don’t really use them a lot. I know a lot of artists create layers for every section of their artworks (so, one for the linework, one for colouring, a separate one for the background, etc etc...). And there’s something really great about being able to paint without worrying about smudging into a previous section of the painting. This works well for my work since I do a lot of bright backgrounds. I also often create a lot of ‘versions’ of my works, so it’s useful to be able to change the background without affecting the main figure of the piece! (I have to say that I often work in one big layer when I’m doing paintings, just because I like how it feels more like ‘traditional’ art that way, but layers are such a brilliant tool, and definitely something you should play around with!)

The eyedropper tool is another one that is really useful! Although I never colour pick from my reference photos, I know some artists find this useful when they were just starting out (especially if you’re not sure what colour to make shadows or how to mix skin tones, etc etc). The eyedropper basically means you don’t need to mix your colours every time

Part 4 - Just some other things I wish I had known about when I was starting out lol...

This last section is just dedicated to a few things that I would have liked to have known when I was just starting out all those years ago. 

First one is fluffy/textured brushes! 

I spent most of my art life from 2013 until 2016 using ‘round’ brushes which are notoriously hard to blend with, so I’d recommend either downloading some fluffy/textured brushes (DeviantArt was where I got mine from a few years back, but there are probably other places you can get them for free too!) to your program of choice, since most of the programs I’ve used haven’t had fluffy/textured brushes as pre-set. 

I may make another post about how I blend in my artworks if that’s something people would be interested in?

(this is an example of textured brush blending vs round brush blending... I usually opt for round brushes for rougher blending styles and the textured brushes for more smooth and ‘realistic’ blending... for a lot of pieces, though, I use both brushes (the round brushes are good for details!) in the same way that you use different sized brushes for real paintings!)

The next thing I wish I’d discovered earlier is the Brush Stabiliser option. Some programs may do this automatically, but the one I use (FireAlpaca) requires you to manually change the amount of stabilising you have on your brush. This is particularly useful if you want to draw neat lines or straight lines (the stabiliser essentially slows down the ‘ink’ as you’re drawing). I only recently started using the stabiliser, and although I still like having it mostly turned ‘off’ for doing sketchy work, it does make doing line work a lot easier, and also gives pieces a more polished look!  

Next advice is to explore all the options you can in whatever program you use! 

I feel like with certain programs, you can get overwhelmed by choice and you end up just using a few of the functions. But I’d really recommend just playing around with these programs, trying all the filters and editing options to get used to how the program works. You can often find interesting ways to adjust your artworks this way! In a way I’d recommend this way of working more than finding tutorials made by other people... Unless there’s a specific function you want to learn how to do, just having fun with digital art is a major part of it’s appeal to me! 

~

There are probably a lot of other options I could go into, but this is already over 2000 words long, so I’ll leave it here for now lol! (I may do a part 2 though so... keep a look out for that!)

As always, if you have any questions to things I’ve said here, or are just looking for more advice, don’t hesitate to message me!

And if you like my work on here (art & blog posts) feel free to support me on my Ko-Fi! <3

[ellenchain]

Do you have any tips on how to start digital art? I want to try but I just don’t know what to do

Hey there! 

I'll try to give you a few tips that come to my mind spontaneously and that were on my mind when I started drawing digitally. Since I don't know whether you are referring to hardware, software or drawing itself, I'll try to cover all three:

1) Hardware To be able to draw digitally, you need a device that lets you draw on a PC or an all-in-one device. I started with a Wacom Bamboo Fun, which is no longer available. I think an equivalent is now the Wacom One (without screen); or any other company. These are all classic tablets where you draw on the plastic surface without a screen. So you always have to look at your screen in front of you, not at your hand. It takes a bit of practice, but you learn quickly. Be sure to check the quality of the pen: how many pressure points are there and does it support tilting, etc.? Many very inexpensive products cut corners here.

The big next step is tablet PCs (all-in-one devices), although I'm personally not a fan of them. The iPad seems to be quite good, but also expensive. I have a Surface Pro, which I can't recommend. It's great as a PC, but not for drawing. 

I use a Wacom Cintiq now, which is a screen you draw on, but you need an extra computer for it to work. Also, it cost me 2k at the time - it’s basically a very expensive screen. So it's definitely not for beginners and I don't recommend it to you yet. It's best to get something cheap and then upgrade when you realise that it's good for you. If you want an all-in-one device, an iPad is probably the best solution here, otherwise the simple tablets without a screen.

Many have touch, some don't. Personally, I deliberately decided against touch at the time because I had a bad experience with the feel of my Surface. Hit or miss I guess.

The most important part: It doesn't matter that you get the most expensive device now because so many established artists have those. There are many very very good artists who still use the "simple" tablets without screens. Everyone has their preference and I think that's what you have to find!

2) Software Here it probably depends on what you want to draw: Illustrations or comics. Some apps are more suited to one or the other.

Personally, I'm an absolute fan of Clip Studio Paint (Pro), which is often on sale for little money. Photoshop is very powerful and simply too powerful (and too expensive) for beginners.

Programs that I consider user-friendly and suitable for illustrations AND are free (PC):

Krita

Autodesk Sketchbook

Medibang Paint

PaintTool Sai

They're all fine for a start, but are limiting when it comes to brushes, materials and functions.

Programs that are good for illustrating (iPad):

ProCreate (just under 11€ once)

Clip Studio Paint (7€/month)

For PC/Mac, Clip Studio Paint is a one-off price. They usually have a spring sale - here you can get the basic version for just 40€, which I would highly recommend to anyone, as the programme is very powerful and still user-friendly. The big advantage I see with Clip Studio Paint is that it gives you a perfect interface for drawing comics while remaining flexible enough for illustrations. ... now I sound like a commercial 😬

3) Art If you have drawn traditionally before, digital art is not that different. As described above, you would have to get used to it for a short time, but everything else remains the same. How you move a pencil and how to draw for example eyes.

In my opinion, everything stands and falls with brushes and overlays in order to get a satisfactory result that corresponds to the previous traditional standard. Textures can completely change images and give them a "real" appearance.

It is also important to know that if you have had experience with e.g. Copic, colour works very differently digitally. Here you probably have to look more closely at colour theories to make sure you don't reach for the poisonous green for the grass, which with a Copic will eventually soak into the paper and dry and become a pleasant grass green. That’s not going to happen with digital colours.

Otherwise I can recommend Youtube videos. There are some good videos here that explain anatomy, etc. Marc Brunet does some really nice stuff, although I think it’s all about personal preference here.

In the end: draw what you like! And don't get discouraged if something doesn't work right away. We digital artists have Ctrl+Z, but many other pitfalls that you will probably notice in the course of time.

Hope that was a bit helpfull! 💕

[lemongogo]

what art tablet / programs would u rec for someone who is only Vaguely familiar with art tablets but wants to get more into digital? :0 I was thinking about getting an ipad and using procreate, since it seems like one of my cheapest and easiest options, and it's about as close to an affordable display tablet that I can find rn lmao .. but I also wanted to see ur opinion bc I have such high respect for u as an artist I look at ur art everyday and am filled with wonder and joy

hi !! so sry it took me forever to respond ! i guess it all depends on what you're looking for in a pen display tablet. i think the ipad (or any related tablet device) would be reasonable for someone who's looking for dual-purpose // something that isn't just an interactive screen monitor. as in, if you're in school or looking for something useful outside of art, that might be more "cost effective" in the long run

however, if you're okay with investing in something that acts strictly as a screen monitor / drawing tablet , i recommend looking into some XP-PEN or Huion tablets. these can pretty costly on their own (given that they only function as a drawing tablet / second monitor), but are pretty good alternatives to the unnecessarily expensive wacom/cintiqs (which range in the thousands :/)

here are some links that you can check out jic

XP-PEN Artist-Display 12 Drawing Tablet ($200) (and other XP-PEN Artist Display tablets)

Huion Kamvas 12 ($219) , Huion Kamvas 13 ($240) , (and other Huion Pen Display tablets)

and while i know you mentioned display tablets in particular, i still think non-display tablets can be really good tools . they're a bit harder to grow accustomed to imo, but they're wayyy way way more affordable; usually in the sub hundred range (they average around $60 from what ive seen).

Huion pen tablets are ranged $25-150, XP-PEN from $26-100s, Monoprice ($50+), GAOMON ($60+), and even some Wacom intuos from $75+ . ofc these aren't the only manufacturers out there && i'm sure you can save on cost if you buy them used or second-hand

overall, i'm not too confident with my knowledge on tablets to give u a direct answer, but hopefully that's something worth considering ! i don't own an ipad and don't think i would buy one in the future since i enjoy the specificity of drawing tablets (conformation, pen pressure, etc) BUT if you're looking into it, don't let me dissuade you either AHHA

ive only ever used two different types of tablets, both of which are now discontinued . the wacom bamboo capture ( ~$40 non-display pen tablet; precursor to the intuos i think) and the huion gt-190, which is like a $300 pen-display . i can def go into more detail about either of these / my experiences with them if you'd like, but i still use both of them today if that's any consolation !!

i hope that helps a little bit :-( if anyone else has any recs or advice to offer, feel free to leave a msg

[hatake-no-sharingan]

Hey beautiful followers🌸 your writer is in need of advice.

I know there are wonderful digital artists here, so maybe you know lots about this.

I want to start drawing on my ipad (but i’m a total idiot with technology), can anyone recommend some tutorials for begginers to digital drawing pls🙏🏻🙏🏻 (like for people who know 0%) and also offer advice?✨

The programs I have are photoshop, illustrator and procreate💖 i would appreciate it so much bbies🥺

[prismcaster]

I just had the most amazing experience!!!

I am going to do a little back story here, because it has been quite a while since my last post...

So, my grandfather, who was the the only person in my entire 35 years of existence that I never felt the need to question if he really loved me. Any way, super long story, shortened because I don’t feel like getting into that right now, he passed away three months ago.

In the time since then, i began to question my choice of kicking spiritualism from my life. You see, since my father, i chose that purposefully, because calling him dad would insinuate that he ever truly gave a fuck about me, or my sister.... but anyway, he used and still probably does, use his religion as an excuse to punish his children for doing him wrong.... which is typical narcissistic behavior.

Which speaking of, i recently read a book called Narcissistic Father, and it literally explained him to me perfectly! It actually made the fact that he has something wrong with him mentally, make me feel so much better about myself somehow.... because well, it turns out, it really is his fault, and none of it is mine. So definitely check out that book!

So since I have all these odd feelings for him because of these things... I cast “religion” out of my life completely. I figured, religion had to be fake, because no religion would keep a parent from their child, so i cast it out 100%. It was so bad, i began to believe that when you die, you just go. I believed that when you go, there is nothing, it just ends, and that your body decomposes, giving it back to the earth you were born from, and that is that.

Then the depression came in. Because there is nothing. Nothing else. And if I couldn’t have my family back, the way i thought it should be, and that at the end of all this pain, there truly is nothing, then what is the point in being in pain forever? And contemplated suicide while laying in the floor in my art studio in complete darkness.

But i thought,” that’s stupid, you didn’t die from cancer and you’re thinking about this right now?! What the fuck, you idiot!” And i got up off the floor, switched the light back on, wiped the tears from my eye’s, and started to draw again. This eventually led to me cutting my arm open, and telling someone months later, and finally getting the help i needed to be able to get better.

Therapy was such a blessing. I truly recommend it. Talking about your problems with someone you are literally paying to listen to you, and paying to keep their opinions to themselves, is a blessing in and of itself. I also strongly suggest journaling. When ever i felt bad, i would write to myself... it helped me explain what i was feeling to myself so that i could finally start to process what was actually happening in my mind so that I could start to slowly solve my own problems.

As i did this, a strange sense of accomplishment came over me suddenly, as i realized that the saying is true, you have to create your own happiness, and also, that you have to love yourself if you ever hope to love anyone else.

So i kept working on myself, and one day, my sister mentioned to me that she had picked up a ouija board at a garage sale. Immediately, for some reason, i said, let’s do it! And we called our other sisters, and planned our first seance. The four of us went all out. We put white candles everywhere , took it very seriously, and experienced the magic of ouija for the first time.

Now, it took a while of hitting dead ends which what we were communicating with, but one day, the mother lode of insane things happened! My cousin came through the board, and after confirming neither of us were moving the planchette, and that this truly was who they said they were, i realized that the end isn’t really the end, but that there really is more, and my life started to change more and more.

I eventually decided that since I didn’t enjoy coloring any more, that I should make a coloring book instead, that way other people can color my art work, and make it their own.

Then, in the midst of this, I decided that I wanted to make my own ouija board, but not call it a ouija board.... so the google searches began.

My sister and I started a podcast, and i used that as an excuse to do an episode on the ouija board, as an excellent excuse to do deep dive research on the boards themselves.

Using this info, I knew I needed to make a spirit board, so I started to work on drawing a design, while also trying to figure out how to make it.

One day I realized “hey, i could make this design up on my ipad and turn the background off, and turn this into a png file, and cut it out with your cricut!”

So i immediately set to work on that, while still trying to figure out how to make them. Finally one day, i discussed this idea with my husband, and he suggested resin on wood. And so it began.

So far, i have made around 30 or maybe more, boards, and yet, i still do not have my own! Maybe some day! Anyway, so that was done and in progress, I left my job that was sucking me dry physically and emotionally, started pushing myself harder, was finally trying to live my life for me, instead of trying to live it the way i thought my father would have wanted me to.

I was truly happy.

And then my grandpa left us.

I collapsed hard. But I had to try to keep it together at the same time because my grandma needed me... my mom needed me.... and my sisters needed me. I fought it as long as i could.... but eventually i broke under the pressure, and re visited my therapist, whom I have decided I am just going to continue to see monthly just in case.

Turns out, I was handling grief the right way.... which I am sure surprised her a little, being as how she had diagnosed me with ptsd a few years prior.

Since his passing, i have not touched a board, or held a pendulum, and not because I am afraid he will talk to me.... but because I am afraid that he won’t. As a 100% Irish Catholic man, I am not sure if he would come through the board or not, although, i do think that he would think it would be funnier than hell to scare us.

I have however found something to believe in. Paganism. No judgements, no frills, just love, paganism, and I will never look back.

After I decided to “come out of the broom closet” so to speak, and openly declare that I am a magical being, things started changing fast...

I finished my coloring book, and most importantly, feel mentally healed. I can’t even begin to explain it, but I will try....

First, after grandpa’s passing, I realized I had learned a few things. For example, that you shouldn’t take those you love for granted, which is when i realized he was the only person who had shown me unconditional love my entire life, no matter what. I also learned from that, the passing of the person who took care of me like a dad, that all I was doing was punishing myself for something someone else did, and that I needed to stop. And you know why?! Religion!

The same damn thing that i tried so hard to keep out.

You see, my grandpa was a wonderful dude. In my entire existence, i never heard him say a negative word about anyone. And most notably, whenever he heard me say anything bad about anyone, he would tell me that I couldn’t change them, but I should say a prayer for them.

It was this phrase, which i had repeated to me over and over again, that now finally made sense after finally realizing the true power of religion. You see, I couldn’t change my father, but, I could change the way he effected me. So, i made a little testament outloud, i moved on.

But then i realized, that if that was the case with that, maybe I needed to be more open to the idea, of religion being legitimate. So i started some research again. But this time, as homework for the tribe I was planning to join. I researched goddesses, because If I was going to pick a deity to start working with, they had to be a strong female.

First up, came Athena. And i truly believe she has been with me, allowing me to get through all of my life’s battles, without me even knowing, for years.

I studied greek mythology in college because I was fascinated by it, and was floored by the parthenon, and the giant statue of Athena that stood inside, and even insisted on visiting the replica while in Tennessee for my sister’s birthday.

Coincidentally, it also turns out that she is the goddess if wisdom, arts, and crafts, so i knew she was the one for me.

Tonight, after my full initiation into the group, i went to the full moon ritual, and was asked some very prying questions by what I will refer to as the “mega crone” and I was forced to question a lot about my choices right then, in front of everyone, and ended up crying while explaining all of that to them , and not really all that well.

But i left there thinking that I needed to let go of the idea of needing to know everything, and just go with the flow.... knowledge is nice, but too much knowledge can have it’s downfalls as well. But also left me wondering how I ended up on this path.

So here i am, telling a long ass background story to get to the damn point!

I was feeling emotional after getting home, and decided to light a candle for my great aunt who is in the hospital, and try to meditate for a while.

Normally, when I try to meditate, I don’t feel anything, and also don’t normally see much, but It’s like I can envision it, even though I can’t actually see it... imagination! Which is something I had cast out of my life a long time ago as well.

So tonight i was ready. Whatever happened was going to happen.... and if grandpa communicated with me while i was meditating I would deal with the emotions and just go on. I turned on my favorite meditation video, and jumped right in... and it fuckin worked! I could feel the ground and see lights, it was so magical! I wish I could explain the trees!

Then, after i processed that I am magical, that I can truly take my own pains away, which set off a mini party if thoughts in my mind, i refocused, and realized that athena had actually been with me my whole life. She got me to grandpa somehow when he was living thousands of miles away, so that I could continue to see and feel what true love is. She was with me through the shit storm that was my youth... and stood with me as i learned to fight for myself, and get up.

It was right now that I realized I am truly magical.... i am loved.... i am perfect the way i am..... i am enough. And if anyone ever should stumble upon this ramble, and stuck with it until now.... know that you are all of those things too! And if you don’t agree, i hope maybe my path will inspire you to get to know yourself, and see what incredible, life changing things could be in store for you.