#I always respect each person's decisions; as all of us are responsible to curate our online experiences

[tenebriiis-archived]

I owe you an apology. Once a couple of people told me a lot of lies about you. I believed them. I don't think you deserved it. This isn't to stir up drama or try to get you to react. This is just a sincere apology for letting others influence me. I just felt I needed to get this off my chest. I'm sorry for believing what I heard and encouraging the people that were talking to me.

{ 🙗 } // Hello Anon. I appreciate the thought of writing this apology. I honestly would prefer you to talk to me directly instead of not knowing who you are. I hope it's understandable, especially with what are you writing that now I even wonder if there was drama related directly with me or what lies are being said about me :c.

I know I have nothing to hide, as I try to be transparent with everyone around me. So whatever thing needs clarification of some sort, I'm here to respond to anything you would wish to know. I honestly would like if someone comes directly at me and tell me if there was drama involving me / what lies are being spread?

I encourage you to step forward even if in a private message or let me know your discord tag through this way or any other media so we could communicate. This only leaves me with a bitter taste now, as I didn't even know people were talking behind my back ... & sets fire to my anxiety as to what is being said or believed?

If anybody wants to clarify anything or ask me something is true or not, I had always been open to communication, so feel free to step towards me & let me know.

[marvelmusing]

Biology Lessons

Alpha!Modern!Laszlo Kreizler x Omega!Fem!Reader

My Masterlist

A/N: I was curious about the biology of A/B/O and ended up reading a lot of Wikipedia pages, 3000 words and a small Alpha Laszlo obsession later here we are

WARNINGS: 18+ content, unprotected smut, A/B/O dynamics, reader has female anatomy but no gender specific pronouns have been used (if there have been please let me know)

You and Laszlo had been together for two years. During this time you had been intimate on plenty of occasions, however you’d always ignored your secondary sex. When together, you were just two lovers, not an Alpha and Omega. You had limited experience with dealing with your biology and Laszlo had respected your decision to stay on your suppressants. He, in turn, had begun taking some of the weaker forms of suppressants. The kind that reduced his rut to a few days that he spent at John’s house. This situation worked well, until you reached the point where you changed your mind and wanted to come off your suppressants. You trusted Laszlo to help you through it and he was more than eager to take care of you.

“Have you ever had a heat?” Laszlo asks you. The two of you are sitting in his downstairs office at his house. The fire crackles in the hearth, casting a glow over Laszlo’s face as he watches you. Your eyes wander as you think about it.

“Once or twice when I first presented. But I started on suppressants pretty young.” He frowns a little, and you know his medical side disapproves. “We never learnt much about it in school.” You explain, trying to justify your decision. He nods immediately,

“Of course. The education system is curated for the success of Alphas. That, and sex education regarding Omegas is still often considered taboo.” He places a hand on your knee, “That’s not your fault, drágám.” You nod, keeping your focus on the hem of the robe you’re wearing - Laszlo’s bathrobe. “Would you like me to explain it to you?” Your face warms at the thought, and you shake your head.

“You don’t have to.”

“No, but I’d like to. I think you deserve to know about yourself.” You give him a small nod. He smiles kindly at you and beckons you closer. When you approach him, he pulls you into his lap. “What would you like to know?” He asks you. You shrug slightly, fiddling with your fingers.

“I don’t know.” You admit quietly. He hums in thought, before asking you,

“How would you describe my scent?” You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck as you inhale his scent. He smiles softly, his hand resting at the back of your neck, knowing that his scent will take the edge off your nerves. Your eyes flutter open as a small smile tugs at your lips.

“It’s like the citrus soap from my grandmother’s house, and the smell of new books, and your office, and like home.” You tell him and he squeezes the back of your neck affectionately.

“You smell like a field of fresh flowers, clean linen, and warm sugared tea. Soft and sweet, and safe.” He admits. You smile up at him as you lean your temple against his shoulder. He taps your nose gently with the tip of his finger. “The scent receptors in your nose pick up my scent and your body’s response depends on how appealing you find it.”

“Very appealing.” You admit against his neck and he hums affectionately.

“This is what helps you decide on my suitability as a mate. As well as other factors such as aesthetics, personality, and overall attraction.”

“That, and you’re one of the kindest, most loving men I’ve ever met.” He looks down, never used to the praise you always give him. His smile widens as he leans in to kiss your cheek.

“Enough flattery from you. It’s time for our lesson.” He tightens his hold on you as you smile at him, resting his weaker hand on your thigh. “Heat cycles occur once every season, so usually four in a year. The heat itself lasts between five and ten days, but that depends on the person.” His thumb skims across the skin of your bare legs lightly. “While Omegas can be sexually active outside of their heat, it is much more pleasurable during their cycle.” You’ve always loved listening to him talk, but hearing him explain all this to you has your body melting against his as your eyes remain fixed on his lips as he speaks. “Did you know that, as your mate, I may be able to trigger your heat?” You blink at him in surprise. You didn’t know that. “It isn’t always possible, but would you like me to try?” He asks, noticing your interest. You nod cautiously, and he takes your hands as he guides you off his lap, before pulling you towards the centre of his office. He sits you down on his desk with your legs parted, and he stands between them. He places his warm hands on your thighs, and nuzzles his nose against your neck. “You know where your scent glands are, yes?” You nod. You tap your finger against the ones on each side of your throat, then bare your wrists to him to show him the areas. You frown before mentioning,

“There’s another pair, I think, but I don’t know where they are.” He smiles proudly at you,

“Correct. There is one here, and here.” He tells you, trailing his fingers along each of your thighs. “They’re a little different from your other ones, which is why most people forget about them.” He squeezes your thighs tenderly as he continues his explanation. “Their main purpose is so that when you go into heat your slick will smell of your Alpha, and tell everyone that you’re taken.” You swallow the whine in your throat, but he knows the effect he’s having on you already. “How long have you been off your suppressants?” He asks you. He knows the answer of course, but he wants to see if your mind is still functioning.

“Around two weeks.” He nods,

“The perfect time to trigger your heat. That is of course if you want to?” You nod hurriedly,

“Please.” He steps closer,

“All I need to do is apply a little pressure here,” the pads of his fingers press against the glands in your thighs. He smiles at the sight of your head falling back, bearing your neck to him. “A little stimulus here.” His tongue moves across the pulse of your throat, sending a shudder down your spine. “And for you to take a nice deep breath.” You do as he says, your body responding instantly to his pheromones. He smells the change in your scent and smiles. “There you go, good Omega.” He coos. You whine at the warmth spreading slowly through your body as you cling to your Alpha. “You should be feeling rather warm now.” You nod your head a few times in agreement. He hums, “And I can smell your slick already.” He nuzzles his lips against your neck, and you whine for him. “By triggering your heat, we’ve skipped the pre-heat nesting stage. But don’t worry Omega, I’ve prepared the bed for you, and you can fix it up just how you like it tomorrow.” You’re beginning to pant and a shimmer of sweat is coating your skin as your fingers tug at his clothing. His words certainly aren’t helping either. He cups your face. “But right now, I think my Omega needs my knot, yes?” You nod hurriedly,

“Alpha, please.” You loop your arms around his neck, wrapping your legs around his torso, and he hooks his hands underneath your thighs. He lifts you from his desk and takes you up to the bed. When you see the bed set up, a large number of pillows at one end, blankets bunched up the sides, and the whole place smells of Laszlo’s cologne. “Laszlo.” You whisper softly, as the sight pulls on your heartstrings.

“I wanted everything to be perfect.” He admits, leaning in to kiss you.

“You’re here, it couldn’t be more perfect.” You tell him through the kiss. You can feel his grin as his mouth moves against yours, the back of your legs meeting the bed, and he guides you down carefully. He pulls at the belt of the bathrobe, letting it fall open and taking a moment to admire you. He pulls away to remove his clothes, and you whimper at the lack of contact. You take this moment as an opportunity to slip the robe from your body, abandoning it on the floor. You turn onto your stomach, hands smoothing up the bedsheets to rest above your head. Hips shifting needily, you arch your back, your knees digging into the mattress. Once he’s undressed, Laszlo looks back at you and his jaw nearly drops, though he’s quick to recover.

“Such a pretty picture, my beautiful Omega, already presenting for me.” He settles between your open thighs, leaning his body over yours. You rut your hips back against his, desperate for any sort of friction. You feel his smirk as his mouth moves across your shoulder. His hand descends between your thighs, fingers pressing against your warm folds. “And you’re so wet already, drágám.” He slips his finger deep into you, drawing a needy gasp from your lips.

“Laszlo, Alpha, please.”

“More?”

“Yes, yes please.” He removes his finger, leaving you whining, your hips chasing him. His hands curl around your waist, squeezing you gently as he tuts.

“Patience Omega.” But you don’t have to wait long, as he lines himself up to your entrance. In one fluid motion he’s filled you up, your eyes squeezed shut and your back arching against the mattress. “Such a perfect fit.” He moans against your neck, his accent getting thicker as you take in every inch of him. He kisses your shoulder delicately.

“Tell me when I can move, édesem.” You take a few gasping breaths, trying to become accustomed to the haze filling your mind. He notices your struggle. “Relax Omega. Let me take care of you.” A tiny whine catches in your throat, then you’re nodding.

“Please, Alpha.” His forehead presses between your shoulder blades as he moves in and out of you. Every single one of your moans and gasps has him nearing the edge of his restraint. Whilst Laszlo wants to focus on you, his need is slowly growing and he wants to ensure you want this.

“Drágám, darling Omega,” he rasps out. “I don’t think I can hold back for much longer.”

“Don’t, please. Don’t hold back.” That’s all it takes for his pace to increase. His fingers dig into the soft flesh of your thighs as he pushes you closer. You press your forehead hard against the plush of the mattress as you feel his knot pushing against your entrance. You whine, desperate for him to fill you completely. Growling against the skin of your back, nails gripping onto your hips, he drives his hips harder against yours. You don’t feel the thin red lines trailing down your thighs as you clench around him. “Are you ready for my knot, Omega? I know you’re close.” You can’t reply. Your mind is completely lost to the feeling of your Alpha taking you to pieces. “I need you to come, so my knot can stuff you full.” As soon as he knows you’re about to come he pushes his knot into you. Your eyes roll back, and you come hard with a broken cry. Only a moment later Laszlo comes as well, his lips grazing down your spine as he does. His knot swells, ensuring none of your slick escapes. Your body goes slack as the two of you attempt to catch your breath. You feel Laszlo’s breathing tickle the skin of your back as it slowly returns to normal. He shifts his weight slightly. “This may feel a little odd.” He warns you. He takes hold of your leg and moves it to the other side of him, effectively spinning you around and lying you down with your back to the mattress. You gasp a little at the change in position, his knot still holding deep inside you. “Now this is better.” He remarks, leaning down to kiss your lips. He takes your hands in his own, letting them run down your spent body. “Can you feel how full you are?” He pushes your hands over your abdomen, your fingers skimming over the bulge caused by his knot. “You did so well Omega, letting me fill you up like this.” He leans forward, nuzzling against your neck. “Such a brave Omega.” He coos. His praises and gentle touches soon have you coming back to your senses. Laszlo notices when the haze has cleared from your eyes, and gives you a soft smile.

“Hi.” You whisper.

“Hello.” The two of you stay in each other’s arms for a while, simply enjoying the close proximity to one another. You rub your fingers over his chest, before reaching up to curl them into the hair at the back of his neck.

“Laszlo,” you say softly, tilting your head back to bear your neck to him. “Can I have your mark?” He seems a little taken aback by your request.

“You- you want…”

“To be yours.” You watch his eyes darken slightly, and he claims your lips again. When he pulls away you’re breathless again.

“You’re sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.” You tell him. “That is, of course, if you want me.”

“Édesem, you are my world.” You both share a tender smile. He cradles the side of your face before tilting your head back. He nuzzles his lips gently against your throat. “With your current level of endorphins you shouldn’t feel too much pain…”

“I love you.” You interrupt him, your smile wide.

“I love you too, drágám.” He presses a soft kiss to the mating gland at your throat, before sinking his teeth down. You clench your teeth, nails digging into the sheets at the sharp sting of your skin breaking. Then, a wave of pleasure rolls through you as your bond snaps into place. You feel Laszlo lapping at the small wound. “All good?” He asks you. You nod with a smile.

“Though, if you bring up that saliva is a natural healing agent I will kick you out of bed.” He chuckles.

“Before I get my own mark. How cruel.” You frown at him.

“What?”

“Alphas also have a mating gland.” You nod, your frown still present,

“I didn’t think- I’ve never seen-“

“Very few Alphas feel the need to wear their mate’s mark. However, I want the world to know I’m yours.” He smiles, watching the primal urge shimmer in your eyes, though he senses your lingering hesitance. “It won’t hurt me, drágám.” Your eyes flicker down to his neck, and he leans closer. “Right here.” He guides you to the spot against his throat. You cup his face carefully, taking a moment to nuzzle against his neck, breathing in his scent. “Don’t be scared Omega. Take what’s yours.” You sink your teeth into his throat, sucking gently at the break of his skin. You feel him shudder against you as your bond strengthens. You trace your tongue carefully along the wound. He leans down to kiss you again, your first kiss as a mated couple. You share a few more slow, loving kisses before Laszlo pulls away. He reaches down towards the bottom of the bed, pulling out a towel and lying it beneath your hips. You frown lightly at him. “Can’t have our nest getting dirty, can we?” Your face morphs into an affectionate smile. Your mate really does think of everything. You whimper when he pulls out, but he rubs your thighs reassuringly and presses kisses over your face. You giggle softly and he beams at you. He ensures the majority of the mess is soaked up by the towel before discarding it. He presses a kiss to your temple, “I’ll be right back Omega.” He’s gone for under thirty seconds, but you both feel the pull of your bond. When it’s fresh like this you can’t be parted for long. He returns with some wet wipes, and begins to clean the two of you up. The coolness soothes you, pushing the heat symptoms even further away. You smile softly at Laszlo and he shares your smile as the two of you spend a moment admiring one another. He throws the wipes away and settles down by your side. You nuzzle against him, purring contentedly. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Get some sleep drágám.”

•*•*•*•

Early the next morning, Laszlo is stirred from his sleep by some sort of movement at his side. The bedroom is still in semi-darkness, the sun hasn’t quite risen into the sky yet, but there’s enough light to see by. The sight before him warms his heart. You’re adjusting a pillow beside you, tucking it under the quilt to secure the wall of your nest. You have one of his shirts tucked under your arm, and nuzzle into one of the pillows.

“What are you doing, Omega?” He asks, his voice still thick with sleep. He can feel your blush as you mumble,

“Just getting comfortable.” He chuckles softly, pulling himself closer to you. You immediately melt into his arms, your body lying flush against his chest. He trails a hand down your spine, and despite your shiver, he can feel your body heat increasing.

“Ready to go again?” He suggests. You pout, the tiredness behind your eyes creeping up on you despite the slick gathering between your thighs.

“M’ tired.” You mumble against his chest.

“I know you are.” He coos, guiding your hips towards his. “But all you need to do is be a good Omega and keep me warm.” You sigh in relief at the feeling of him filling you, eyes fluttering shut as he continues, his accent thickening. “Yes, that’s all your heat-ridden body’s good for, isn’t it?” He feels you tighten at his words and he groans against your neck. “Don’t worry Omega, I’m going to take such good care of you.”

[moonlightchess]

a brief interlude in which a young mortician finally meets his patron saint.

(Diaphanous).

Around five years old, when he first started hearing them. Soft, muted weeping echoing lightly through the cavernous halls just beyond his bedroom door, and by ten he was accustomed to sliding out of bed, yawning, padding to his doorway to step out into the endlessly shadowed maw veining through the upstairs of his family’s home. The moaning creak of the floorboards was easily avoidable if you knew where to slide your feet, which by then he did, and he’d whisper into the dark: “You’re okay. It’s all over now, but stay as long as you need to. You’ll be getting along when you’re ready.” And even then, there was something profoundly tender and melancholy wrapping itself around little Theodore like an aura, to which the ghosts usually responded favorably. On occasion, they’d even slip into his bedroom after he climbed back into bed, gently tugging his duvet over him in thanks.

Sixteen, and Pere introduced him to the family business in the most definitive sense yet, bringing him down into the embalming room. There, he was shown how to drain the bodies, to sew their gums securely closed, to carefully apply powders and lotions to suggest sleep despite death. Pere helped him to remove the heart and lungs of a corpse in the preparation process of the old fashion, despite it having fallen out of favor in more recent years. Bellefontaine, Louisiana, lingered a decade or two behind much of the nation, in every way from embalming practices to racial sensitivity, both topics having already been addressed with young Theodore. “A person is a person, deserving of respect and love and dignity regardless of their skin, wealth, or any other such thing that the ignorant might think defines them,” Theodore senior had informed his small son firmly, long ago, meeting his midnight-blue eyes that were so solemn and sympathetic even then. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Pere.” Theodore had not understood, not entirely, back then. But at sixteen, hunched over the dead body of a local bait shop owner whose wife made the softest, sweetest beignets he’d ever tasted, clarity rose sharp and bitter. “Monsieur Dumonde,” had escaped him before he could swallow the words in the interest of professionalism. “I knew him. Used to buy worms from him when the boys wanted to go fishing, but it’s been so long. I didn’t know he was sick.”

“Everyone dies, ti-Theodore,” and he’d been in love with the way his name rolled from his father’s tongue in a thicker cajun accent than his own - tee-tay-oh-doure, Theodore junior. It was enormously soothing, even now as he considered shaving Monsieur Dumonde’s thick mustache away for his funeral - but in the end, he placed the straight razor back onto his father’s table of sharp tools, aware that his decision had been a test. “No. We leave the mustache, he always had one when he was alive. He used to tug on it and laugh at our homemade fishing poles whenever we went into his shop. His mustache was a part of him, and it’s important that we send him to the next with as much of the man he was intact as we can.” He’d been a little nervous, meeting the dusk-colored eyes that he’d inherited from his beloved father, holding his breath.

“Good boy,” and he’d exhaled. “There are many who would have shaved him, cut his hair, put on some strange new clothes he never would have chosen himself. But you, my sweet and quiet boy, you understand.”

Mere had been a dancer, once. Ballet had been her life, her identity, until a careless would-be principal prince had stumbled into her leap - during a rehearsal no less, she’d been denied even the dignity of a grand disaster to end her career in the middle of a soaringly tragic performance - and her ankle had snapped, had never healed properly. She limped a touch even then, bringing sweet tea out to their wraparound porch thick with creeping ivy and heavy flowers bursting open at random, studding the lush green like jewels in a necklace, where her teenage son sat cross-legged on a battered loveseat long since dragged out to face the elements of the swampland. Together, they would count the darting fireflies, tiny pinpricks of golden light waging a valiant war against the encroaching southern dark. “I was beautiful once,” she’d said to him. “They all used to come watch me dance, in the city.”

“You’re still beautiful, Mere.”

She’d only sighed, slipping a hand into the pocket of her pea-green silk skirt to retrieve a shot bottle of bourbon, hoarded from the liquor store in town, and poured it into her tea.

They were both gone now, six, seven years proper. He’d prepared their bodies, and in death all of his mother’s pain and longing had been exposed to him with the first incision into her cold and rigid flesh for the draining, sixty-two years of ballet and resentment filling up the glass reservoir of the tubing’s end, dark red. She’d always done up her soft, honey-colored hair into elaborate braids, draped over one shoulder or both or trailing down her back or even wound up into a twisted crown if she was in a happier mood than usual. Theodore had sat beside her, holding her stiff milky hand with his own and with the other, scrolling through youtube tutorials on how to create the perfect fishtail braid until he was confident.

Pere had gone five years after, the light in him having drained out as clear and real as every fluid in his wife’s body had eventually found its way into the belly of their aspirator in the basement. Pneumonia had taken his mother - she’d always had a poor and fragile immune system - but his father had been just shy of seventy and to this day, at thirty-two years old, Theodore had never been offered a satisfying cause of death for him. “Just his time, sug,” a nurse in powder blue scrubs had tried, patting his hand soothingly and because this was the south, “I’ll be praying for y’all - well, just you I suppose. Oh lord, you’re the only Bissonette left now, ain’tcha?”

He was. They’d left the entire mortuary to him, and with it all the responsibilities of being the local mortician and funeral director at such a tender age, and his head had at first swum dizzily with all the pressure and expectations. Theodore senior and his wife Lisette had been fixtures of their country community, familiar and comforting, always there whenever someone had passed on to arrange flowers and platters of cold cuts, to deliver gentle words to cushion the grief. They’d been known, trusted, but Theodore junior, well. Ti-Theodore Bissonette, so young to be running the whole house himself, and the folk of Bellefontaine just weren’t sure. Until the death of little Suzette Marchande.

Hit by a car, she’d been, some hideous beast driving drunk through the winding access road circling their little cajun town and pointed out toward Nola proper. He was in prison now, but Suzette remained dead, and in his huge, capable hands Theodore had poured every bit of his father’s knowledge and sensitivity into that girl. He’d dressed her in yellow, one of her own dresses supplied by her mother, but he’d also remembered that she’d loved frogs. She’d catch them in the swamp and hold them in both hands, laughing at their croaky sounds, but then she’d carefully deposit them onto some leaf somewhere. “They got big ones, in the jungle. The Amazon,” he remembered her saying when the Bissonettes had run into she and her parents in town once, years ago. “Big as cars, they are. I’m gonna go there someday and study ‘em.”

So he’d bought sparkly little green frog clips for her hair online, pinning it back from her freckled face. Her favorite stuffed froggie, named Monsieur Ourauron, Mister Ribbitt, had been lost in the crash, but he’d found one in the Amazon - or at least on amazon - that looked largely the same. When her parents had seen her during the open-casket service, they’d wept and clutched his hands, thanking him in a babbling blend of French, English and grief. That day had declared the end of one life and the beginning of another, as little Suzette had been delivered unto whatever waited after, but thirty-year-old ti-tay-oh-doure had been manifest and confirmed.

There was something to be said for how tall he was. He would have thought some would find it intimidating, difficult to relate to considering that he was six-seven or perhaps a touch over, impossibly long limbs and a hawkish nose, soft mouth borne of his Mere and his father’s nearly indigo eyes the color of a sky five minutes before the moonrise. His was soft, floppy, peanut-brown hair and a quiet timbre resonating in his voice that was immediately associated with the unthreatening sense of calm authority that his father had once carried around easy as an old sweater. Theodore would take care of everything, Bellefontaine knew. They’d be left free to grieve their lost, because he was here with his huge hands and endless legs and fleeting smile.

He lived alone, now. There had been flings, lovers, Audrey from Nola with her autumn-brown skin and fox-gold eyes, elegant and sure, but she hadn’t stayed long. “This place is charming, but you can’t actually expect to stay here all your life, can you?” she’d told him once, after the sex, the two of them naked and wrapped around each other in his sprawling bed with a gentle breeze from outside floating through his open window. She didn’t understand, and neither did the men, not even sweet Peter with his auburn curls and dimples.

“You’re all alone out here, doesn’t it get boring? Lonely? My god, you live in a mortuary.” His shiver had been all that Theodore had needed to kiss him tenderly and send him on his way. His father had been extraordinarily lucky to find Mere, he knew - so few understood, the nature of a curator of death. The ancient contract they’d signed, the tradition they’d inherited. It was sacred but horrifying to most, because everyone wanted the convenience of their holy order at the end of all things, but no one actually wanted to have to think about dying. About the fact that literally all of them, rich or poor, pious or skeptical, afraid or unafraid, was going to die. The repulsion, he understood, was instinctive, and he’d only made his lovers breakfast in the morning and never called any of them back.

Some of the ghosts never left, as it was, and there were mornings in which he’d make his way into the kitchen to find his black tea already steaming, his chair already pulled away from the table. Some of them had found their peace here with him, and so he’d leave his cello out on occasion so that they could pluck the strings or plink a few keys on his mother’s old baby grand in the living room. He was happy too, his natural introversion leaving him largely content in his solitary life. There were those who sought comfort in his touch after the funerals of their loved ones, holding onto his hands a beat too long as he bade them goodbye, meeting his eyes meaningfully, but he always released them to the hazy swamp air outside. They were hurting, vulnerable, and he was a gentleman.

It rained the night the stranger arrived, or stormed rather - Theodore’s lights had been flickering throughout the manor all night. He’d collected candles and charged his phone, but his power had soldiered on even as the thunder crashed and jagged needles of lightning slashed open the churning charcoal sky outside. He’d yanked open the heavy oak door in response to some insistent knocking, only to find a man roughly his age standing there on the porch. He was oddly untouched by the rain despite no car present behind him, moon-pale, spilled-ink hair thick and soft over limpid, silver-mirror eyes, colorless as a deep-sea creature’s, slicing through the dark.

“Saints alive, are you lost? Are you all right?” The man, he didn’t know personally, but a truth and clarity rolled from him like steam off the swamp, and he felt enormously familiar somehow.

“I wouldn’t say lost, no. May I come in?” His voice, soft and polite, still clear and steady over the storm.

“Yes, forgive me. Please.” He stepped aside, watching him enter, translucent eyes sweeping over the yawning, shadowed maw of the grand old manor’s entryway. “Who are you? I’m sorry, but I’m not taking in any bodies until morning.”

“I understand. Terribly sorry to intrude upon your evening like this, but you and I, we have a matter to discuss.” His accent was not local, nor was it unfamiliar. It felt like a forgotten dream, abruptly remembered, an old song once loved playing on the radio years later.

“I’m afraid I don’t recognize you, Sir. Have you been to one of my funerals?”

“Sweet Theodore, I have been to all of them.”

“I don’t understand.”

The stranger clasped his hands behind his back, idle as a museum patron, gazing thoughtfully up to the enormous and heavily framed oil paintings of Bissonettes past lining the walls of the entryway. “It’s my fault for allowing myself to become so fond of you, but you’ve never really understood just how rare a person you are, have you Theodore? I shouldn’t have come here, but I had no choice. I couldn’t let you leave here tonight, that tree would have rendered your car to a smoking wreck and your body to worse. And you, sweet Theodore, you deserve so much better. After all the respect and care and compassion you have shown so unfailingly to myself and my vocation over the years - I’ve come to love you, and you deserve a soft and quiet end. So much sweeter than the one planned for you, I had to make sure you didn’t die in that crash. I had to come here, on this night. For all your kindness, tonight I will be kind to you.”

Drunk, perhaps. Some sauced-up tourist stumbling through the bayou after a bar crawl, but - this far from the city proper? “I’m afraid that you’re still losing me, will you please tell me who you are?”

He turned then, colorless gaze meeting Theodore’s, an echo of sorrow in his faint smile.

“You know who I am.”

In the end, it was true. He supposed at least a part of him had known from the moment he’d opened the door.

“I do. I didn’t think I’d meet you this young in life, but I’m pleased to find you a gentleman, Sir. I can only hope that in the time you’ve allowed me, I’ve done you proud.”

“You and your whole dear family. You don’t know how much I owe you, all of you. You would have lingered, in pain, on life support, for months. It was unbearable, unacceptable. Not you, not my Theodore who has served me so gently and so diligently for so much of your life.”

“I suppose it’s time, then.” He was not afraid. Death, he knew. He’d existed out here in a kind of stasis for years, honoring his patron saint, the man standing before him in a soft black sweater and reaching out to slip an arm through his.

“It is. But I think the storm is winding to a close, and the mists are always so lovely. Why don’t we go see.”

Nodding, Theodore allowed himself to be led to the door, turning briefly to look back just one last time into his beautiful old house, his shrine to a softer death than most knew existed. He’d always done his best, to make the transition as easy as possible for those on their way to some other place, and now it was time to go.

“Will it hurt?”

“Not for you, no.” The stranger opened the door then, and Theodore couldn’t be sure that the new world laid before him looked the same to both of them, but he smiled at what he saw.

“You were right. It’s beautiful.”

The house and the ghosts left wandering its halls signed in unison with the departure of their beloved Theodore, but the rain had slowed and the moon had risen and they were patient enough to wait a while. Someone would come, someone as warm and bright as him, someone who would take care of them as tenderly as he had, some new Theodore born. In the end, after all, nothing ever really died, and daylight was coming on soon, sure as a promise.

[rainbowsky]

Final round-up of fan fic asks

I've gotten a few more interesting responses to the fan fic discussion so I'm going to round them all up here. This will be my final post on the topic until/unless there's a dramatic new development, or a particularly notable response I want to highlight. Thanks to everyone who brought their thoughts and experiences to the topic. I hope everyone at least feels heard.

The biggest piece of advice that I would like to offer is for everyone to focus on what they love rather than what they hate. If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Alongside that, I'd like to remind everyone to please support authors whose work you like. It's so important. Give them a kudos, give them a nice comment, recommend their work to others. You never know what kind of grief and harassment they are dealing with to bring you these great stories, and our support means a lot.

This is in reference to previous posts here and here.

Anonymous asked:

With regard to fandom and fan fic issue, my years of experience being part of very large fandoms has led me to believe that big accounts are v important in facilitating and enforcing the general consensus of the whole fandom. Unless there will be big accs who'll remind everyone of being respectful & just not being a dick over other's preferences, nothing will change.

This is also the reason why I think certain solo fandoms have adapted weird and twisted narratives as their general fandom story because no big acc has tried to police them & and say hey pls be rational. Whether we like it or not, in a place where how far voices, ideas, tweets, posts get heard is based on the number of followers you have, big accs will have the power and influence in creating/curating/shifting the narratives.

So, if you want to know why your/our fandom thinks like this in general, look at what big accs are tweeting/posting, look at what ideas & values they follow, look at their preferences or how strongly they react to certain situations. it's taxing and toxic for big accs given the nature of social media these days, but it's also the reality of system, the more followers/audience you have, the more influence you will have.

So to anyone reading this I hope we all practice more restraint and reflection before we post anything. Remember that words, no matter what medium you write it in, will always carry weight.

So true. It is easy - even for myself who spends a fair chunk of time answering people's asks - to forget that people can sometimes be impressionable and what we say can influence people whether that's our intent or not. I get used to thinking of myself as a regular guy just doing my own thing when sometimes my thoughts and words go well beyond where I initially posted them.

I think it's important for us to be careful what we say, and it's equally important to be careful what we take from what other people say. Especially when it comes to big claims. Always get a second, third, fourth opinion and don't be afraid to ask for clarification if something doesn't sit right or sounds confusing.

It's also important to reflect on how our words and actions might affect other people's experience of fandom, and err on the side of 'live and let live' wherever possible. It's great to have our own preferences and to champion them, but we should try to do so in a way that leaves space for other people and perspectives.

The more unique perspectives and the more friendly, open dialog there is, the healthier the community will be as a whole.

There's nothing wrong with encouraging and guiding growth in the particular areas we are interested in, as long as it doesn't step on, oppress or attack those who are peacefully enjoying something different.

Anonymous 2 asked: bjyx fans attacking gdgdbaby for including zsww/lsfy dynamics in an event named bjyx then turning right around and attacking the zsww/lsfy event organizer for excluding bjyx? god, can you hear my facepalm and sigh of resignation and incredulity from over there? im genuinely not surprised that they're trying to drive an entire part of the fandom out by disgusting them (and me) with these immature tactics. i believe what im about to say next will sound quite bait-y and i respect your decision 1/?

should you choose not to post this. but i do know that it is not only me, in fact there are many out there, that is of this opinion. we just dont talk about it on twitter to avoid the potential mess it will bring lol. okay, here goes nothing. (do note that im talking about the majority here, not every single person is like this) so bjyx fans tend to be cishet females whereas zsww/lsfy fans are more diverse in terms of age and gender, and most of them are part of the queer community too 2/?

i would like to clarify that most of these zsww/lsfy fans are not dynamic exclusive (in the sense that they are friendly and interact with all ggdd fans) they just prefer to "identify" themselves as zsww/lsfy fans (on twitter specifically) just to form a distinction from bjyx fans who mostly are dynamic exclusive (as in; they do not consume non-bjyx content, and straightup refuse to interact with non-bjyx fans, often blocking them). as a result, id say that the zsww/lsfy communiy is way more 3/?

mature and respectful (after all, they're mostly queer people talking about a queer ship) whereas many problems in this fandom, such as the homophobia, adamantly insisting on "drawing lines" between dynamics, stem from the bjyx exclusive fans, comprised of cishet females who "may not know better". so, it is of no surprise to me that they're resorting to these immature tactics of calling gg unsavory names, and organizing retaliatory events with controversial topics in an attempt to "purify". 4/4

I trust that you have arrived at that theory through your own experience and observation. I haven't personally spent much time immersed in this stuff so I can't claim to have any real insight or expertise. If you say that's your experience of it, then at the very least that's how you've seen things up to this point.

I just want to say that I think we should always be careful about making assumptions about people's age, gender/gender identity, etc.

There are plenty of good reasons to avoid doing that; because those assumptions could be very wrong, because those assumptions are often laced with ageism, sexism, etc., because those assumptions - even when correct - might not be an accurate basis for the conclusions we draw.

But the primary reason I recommend avoiding those type of assumptions is because anything that enables us to clump a group of people together in our minds like that will tend to make them easier to demonize and dehumanize. They are no longer individuals who are each responsible for their own unique perspectives, they are now 'the X group' who is known for 'A B C series of easily attackable ideas or behaviors'.

If we attribute undesirable traits and behaviors to a group of people we feel opposed to in some way, that makes us feel more righteous and justified in behaving unfairly toward them, dismissing their humanity and warring with them. It's just risky behavior to engage in, even when it's well-intentioned.

There might actually be some truth to what you're saying. It could very well be that most of these people are young, inexperienced, heteronormative, etc. but if that's the case then we should try to use those traits to better understand and empathize rather than to better dismiss and discredit.

Just my two cents on that.

It can be really frustrating dealing with what feels like other people attacking us, trying to oppress us, etc. - especially when there are more of them than there are of us. In my experience the best solutions to that sort of problem are generally the ones that focus on what we are doing and want to do rather than what they are doing that we don't want them to do.

As I am always preaching, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is what we say, do and think (and how we respond to what they say, do and think).

I have found in my experience that the moment I step out of a conflict mindset and instead step into a problem-solving mindset, everything starts to come together. I feel better, my outlook is more positive, I can begin to see solutions and allies rather than problems and enemies, and most of all, I become more focused on what I am doing than what others are doing.

So I would recommend everyone who is invested in resolving these conflicts focus on that. "How can we best showcase and encourage the types of stories we enjoy?" instead of "How can we stop these other people from doing things we dislike?"

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello again! It’s anon #3 from the fanfic post. I really do appreciate reading your thoughts on various issues like this, so thank you for always taking time to write in depth. As for supporting without going to war, the simplest way has always been to just show appreciation for the creators, hype them up. Kudos are the easiest way on ao3 but comments in addition are great. This goes for all content—art, fics, vids..etc. Creators love to see and read how people react to their content. Sharing is also great, fic recs are very helpful, just be cautious with art and reposting though. Hope this helps a bit!

Thanks so much, Anon. I think this is excellent advice. And it's true that appreciation is great, but helping to expand the audience is also great. Recommending stories, pointing people to the pages/websites of artists we like (as opposed to reposting), sharing our own ideas and approaches, encouraging people to try new things... all of this helps build healthier communities.

And here's another one: WRITE! DRAW! CREATE!

I urge anyone with creative interests or talents to bring their voices to the community because we all can benefit from hearing from you.

Thanks again everyone for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I hope that over time we can all work in positive ways to improve the situation.

I think this subject has been well-covered now so I'm going to retire it for the time being. If anyone still feels they want to discuss it further please feel free to message me privately. Thanks.

[and-then-theres-that]

Tumblr Community Guidelines

Since everyone is freaking out and obviously only wanting to read what they want to see, OR too lazy to actually click a link:

These go into effect on the 17th.

Community Guidelines

Please note: these new Community Guidelines will not go into effect until 2018-12-17

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(Wooooooh boy! The one everyone is up in arms about...I don’t see ANYTHING in here about banning obviously fake looking boobs. And honestly, if you draw the hyper-realistic stuff, that looks like it could be a REAL LIVE HUMAN BEING not everyone wants to find that when they go looking for a thing. I find it in the World of Warcraft rag all the time and it’s not what I want to see. Tag your shit...seriously. Admittedly it’s a fine line, but there’s a huge difference between anime porn and a shirtless guy drawing. I see nothing in there that says cartoony drawings are going.)

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(Oh thank god, can we do this to Instagram please?)

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(YAY!)

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———————————-

That’s a huge blurb, sorry for all the people I flattened and NO I won’t be putting it behind a read more, no one will.

None of these rules are hard. In fact, they’re really simple.

Don’t post what isn’t yours.

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not

Don’t scam people

Don’t spam post stupid shit

Don’t tag things that have nothing to do with the tag. (No more kpoppers in the Lee Pace tag!)

Don’t glorify self-harm, abuse or eating disorders.

Don’t bully people

Don’t threaten harming people because they’re not like you

Don’t post explicit, realistic sexual situations and try to call it art.

Don’t attempt sex with a minor, or try to phish for minors

....

Generally what these new guidelines are telling you to do is to BE A GENUINE, NICE PERSON AND DONT TREAT OTHERS LIKE SHIT!

Is that really difficult for some of you? FFS

[designweapons]

In 2008, Justin Paul started #designweapons studios with a drive to share his art with the world. In 2009 he was hired by #Sony to create #keyart for #priestmovie. In 2012 #sonystudios again hired him in a collaboration with #marvelKnights to create the official key poster art for #ghostriderspiritofvengeance. Flash forward to 2021. After creating over a dozen #hollywood posters for studios like #lionsgate #blumhouse and #warnerbros the industry has reached a paradime shift.

"The thing about studio projects is that there is a lot of people making decisions. You are hired for your talent / style and then they want to change everything about it. Nothing we create as artists for a studio is truly raw once corporate becomes involved."

Concept artists for Studios like #marvel would agree. Take #jeradmarantz who does like 90% of the #3dmodeling you see in #dcstuidos and #marvelStudios projects. If you follow his work you can see his original designs are always far superior to what makes it through studio control. Evidence of this can be seen in #thesnydercut where his original designs were finally allowed to see life, and they are far superior to what was seen in the original cut of #justiceleague.

In 2021 #nftart became a viable stream of revenue for artists both large and small. For the first time in modern history artists are finally being valued for their original visions with unbridled creativity. Platforms have been created with in a matter of months. Each platform is fighting it out to be the #nftking in a rapidly growing space of unknown territory.

"Right now it's basically like a gold rush. I think we as artists are in uncharted waters and there is a tremendous opportunity to reach out and become something more. The goal has always been to do what you love and make just enough money to support a lifestyle where you can keep doing it without interruption. It's hard, #digitalartists in the past decade have become extremely undervalued."

#nftspace has been divided into various platform. Spaces like #niftygateway have suddenly become bastions for famous celebrities to do what artists despise. Hire them for their talent at underpaid wages and take all the credit for the #digital artists work. Platforms like #opensea and #rariable have no vetting on who can mint art, so the market is overstated.

"Personally after doing my research and experimenting on several platforms, I decided to mint my #gothicart collection on #withfoundation. I love the look of the site, its curated and i believe it out classes a lot of other #cryptoart sites i've seen. I'm also looking forward to experimenting with spaces like #knoworigin, #superrare, and #makersplace.

"The true goal of any artist is to touch the viewer with an emotional response. a film maker and a musician will look for that magic spark. It's a beautiful thing to watch someone so touched by your work that they actually tear up. I've cried listening to music that touches me. I've been inspired by other artists to the level of lifting me out of depression.

#justinpaul and #designweaponsart are currently names rising among the ranks of super artists in the #nftcollectors watch list like #beeple #mikewinkleman and #bosslogic. He has quickly become a staple in the #nfttradingspace Justin Paul is in the first phase of launching a #gothicart collection on #withfnd but has already sold over 10 original works on other platforms to collectors from around the globe. His art comes with a pedigree of 15 years of work in #hollywood and the #musicindusty.

"#mostvaluableNFTartist #MVPNFT is that a thing? for me, its more about being respected for my original vision. I appreciate anyone who collects my art. It doesn't matter if a piece sells for 15 dollars or 15 million. If an #nftcollector can love it as much as I do without wanting to change it, I've fulfilled a life goal. Do i consider myself one of the highest valued NFT artists? I guess thats subjective. I think it's difficult with for an artist to walk around with a personality like #tonystark. An artist is a very interesting type of person. We are usually socially distant, humble people but we also are extremely selective. I think the fact that we never fit in with societal norms was the reason we turned to art to begin with. Art is catharsis. It's exercising our emotions in the only way we know how. We don't exactly fit in with #highsociety or the social movers of this generation. Thats fine, but i think a part of us wonders what we could be if we were built differently."

For more on #justinpaulart and #designweapons please visit the following links

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm6302659/

https://foundation.app/DesignWeapons

https://foundation.app/DesignWeapons/adrenochrome-15806

https://www.instagram.com/designweapons/?hl=en

[shoury01]

SELF DIFFERENTIATION: - BEHAVIOURS LINKED

Self-differentiation is a word we probably do not hear in everyday usage. But it is a crucial process to living (and eating) well. It is happening when we hear people speaking their minds with thoughtful conviction even though others might disapprove. It is lacking when someone spends their life rebelling against the views and values of parents/ colleagues and clinging to their opposite. It is missing when someone stifles feelings and thoughts in fear of hurting others or being rejected or shamed by them.  

Differentiation of self was defined by Murray Bowen (Psychiatrist, Professor- Georgetown University) in 1978 as the degree to which one is able to balance: (a) emotional and intellectual functioning, and (b) intimacy and autonomy in relationships.

His theory has two major parts.

1) Differentiation of self is the ability to separate feelings and thoughts. Undifferentiated people cannot separate feelings and thoughts; when asked to think, they are flooded with feelings, and have difficulty thinking logically and basing their responses on that.

2) Further, they have difficulty separating their own from others’ feelings; they look to family to define how they think about issues, feel about people, and interpret their experiences.

On an intrapsychic level, differentiation refers to the ability to distinguish thoughts from feelings and to choose between being guided by one’s intellect or one’s emotions.

Self-differentiation involves being able to possess and identify our own thoughts and feelings and distinguish them from others. It is a process of not losing connection to self while holding a deep connection to others, including those we love whose views may differ from ours. For Example- if we grow up in a family in which everyone maintains attachment (or has only brief disconnects) in spite of having different thoughts and feelings, we can begin to self-differentiate.

Greater differentiation allows one to experience strong affect or shift to calm, logical reasoning when circumstances dictate. Flexible, adaptable, and better able to cope with stress, more differentiated individuals operate equally well on both emotional and rational levels while maintaining a measure of autonomy within their intimate relationships. Highly differentiated individuals are thought to demonstrate better psychological adjustment.

In contrast, poorly differentiated persons tend to be more emotionally reactive, finding it difficult to remain calm in response to the emotionality of others. With intellect and emotions fused, they tend to make decisions based on what “feels right”; in short, they are trapped in an emotional world. Less differentiated individuals experience greater chronic anxiety.

From a process orientation, differentiation is an active, ongoing process of connecting to and honouring our own experience, acting in integrity with our values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. When differentiated, we are able to identify our needs and preferences in any given situation and to speak up for them when necessary. We regularly and explicitly clarify boundaries. We are able to manage the reactivity and discomfort that comes from either risking greater intimacy or potential separation and conflict. 

Not only do problems with lack of self-differentiation make healthy adult relationships impossible, but they cause tremendous inner turmoil which can often lead to comfort eating. We may get furious because we feel controlled by someone who wants us to do something we do not wish to do but believe we are unsafe expressing our feelings openly. Or we may silence ourselves around others and feel inauthentic, unheard, or invisible, and with needs unmet, seek food for solace.

Here are some core skills and behaviors that signify and support differentiation to cultivate and watch for:-

1)    Groundedness and clarity about our identity; confidence in our innate goodness and lovability.

2)    Self-awareness, self-empathy, self-regulation/soothing remain accessible and consistent throughout a given day.

3)      Self-responsibility: an ability to share unmet needs without blame, criticism, or demands.

4)    An ability to meet differences with respect, curiosity, empathy, or celebration.

5)    An ability to listen with empathy in interactions we perceive as difficult or challenging.

6)    An ability to make changes within or to end relationships in which collaboration and mutual respect are not met.

7)    Consistent engagement in activities and behaviors that support our thriving.

8)      Having multiple trusted strategies to meet any given need; not expecting to meet any need with just one person or one strategy.

9)    A consistent sense of meaning and purpose.

10)  A consistent and confident sense of autonomy and agency.

11)  An ability to express authentically while considering the needs of others and risking conflict.

12)  Mindfulness practice: noticing your experience with compassion; having an ability to identify your intention, feelings, needs, and requests in any given moment.

Emotional fusion refers to an emotional intertwining between people and or between people and other animals or between people and objects. This is an attachment that is a part of all relationships but varies in quantity depending on two variables: the level of chronic anxiety and the level of differentiation of self of the individuals involved.

A high degree of fusion or attachment reflects a high degree of sensitivity of people to each other and when sufficiently intense takes one of two forms: “I can’t do without you” or “I can’t stand to be around you.” Regardless of the external form fusion takes, it reflects a state of “we-ness” in that people believe, to some extent, that they must feel alike, think alike, and behave alike.

Anger and over-compliance, for example, are two sides of the same coin. Both are the result of fusion or the inability to function, the result of having thoughts and actions determined by others. We should take pride in our emotions but be wary of the forces that are trying to manipulate them. We must always balance emotion with reason.

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa.

[bigfuntoystore-blog]

Big Fun’s Big Announcement

Pops(a guy who I got out of "retirement" and one who didn't know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek) and me from that special day, nearly 27 years ago.

When I told Family and Friends that I was going to open a shop that would specialize in collectible toys, novelties, and jokes and gags... the majority responded. " Are you nuts ?"

Before I could even respond, almost all, immediately answered their own question. "Yep, you're nuts...Tell me again what you are planning to do."

For the majority of those 27 years, I've often been asked what I do for a living. My response was always..."I have an award winning toy and gift store." Sometimes, depending on whom I was speaking to, I would respond.... "I sell collectibles or I'm a purveyor of poop and fake vomit." However, a little over 1 year ago, I finally realized what I actually do and I now answer... "I make people happy." I'm damn proud of that.

Big Fun is not a toy store, it's a vessel. It's allowed me, my staff, and our customers to go on a journey. As my friend and guru, Ted Frankel says..." Our stores are a safe place on the Monopoly board and you can come shopping and leave smiling. I've been truly blessed to have met the most incredible people because of Big Fun. They have influenced not only the way that I operate my business, but more importantly, the way that I lead my life. I learned even more about community. I had an incredible mentor and friend in Tommy Fello. These "guides," like Steve Israel and Mike Goyda, whose philosophy and visionary views of life, have shaped me into the person that I am today. I am forever thankful. Life is a series of journeys, composed of paths well or ill taken. For me, life is like a book, with chapters written and some to be created and composed later. My dear, dear friends, Jonny and Dave, listened to hours of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. My wife Debbie and my kids, Arleigh(Alex), Brynne(Nick), and Merrick, who not only supported me, but graciously shared me with the community that I so dearly love. Luckily, Debbie, not only allowed me to chase my dream of Big Fun, but she also supported me emotionally and was my ear for so much. To Mom and Pops...I couldn't ask for better. To my in-laws, Bob and Jan, who trusted me with their daughter and a crazy idea.

My Family is the best!

I used to joke that they would have to carry me out of Big Fun horizontally. Well, I am here today to say that I much prefer the alternative. This is a decision that is incredibly difficult. There are so many variables to this equation...so many layers and so many people involved. This decision is being made after countless hours of discussion with Family, Friends, and business colleagues, whom I respect dearly. So with heavy heart....I have decided to close Big Fun on Coventry. We are going out with a bang! Everything and I mean everything, is 50% OFF, starting this Friday February 2nd. You have to remember, Big Fun has been in business for more than a quarter century. We have basement full of goodies that we have acquired from people, for all those years.There's tons of great stuff and all will be half off. We will be bringing items up daily from our 3,000 + square foot basement. In the proverbial words of Ron Popeil, a man I met and of pocket fisherman fame..."But wait, there's more!" After we clear out Big Fun proper, we'll be hitting our warehouse, where I've stored some of my amazing finds from years of going on archaeological digs in toy store and distributor warehouses. I bought boxes of stuff 25 years ago, that was 35 years old back then and this stuff hasn't seen daylight since! There's parts and pieces that would be great for artists to create their own works of art. There's history, there's pop culture, there's love in each and every box. I've been curator of collectible curiosity for most of my adult lifetime. So... This neigborhood, this city,which I dearly love, and especially this street, we call Coventry, will forever be a piece of my genetic makeup. I will miss my fellow independent store owners, like Suzanne at Mac's Backs, Kathy at The Grog Shop,Bob and Ann at Passport to Peru,Rob and Mike at Record Revolution, Rosanne and Jim at Diamond's Florist, Andy, Tom, Jef, Brian and the gang at Heights Hardware, Laurie at Blush, and Larry at City Buddha.( there are many more) My fellow Coventry Board members(especially the Executive Board), who have spent countless hours to make our street, a better place. Angie Hetrick for her hours of dedication to the street. To City officials, Police, and Fire department, along with other City workers who have worked with me so many times. Many thanks to the local non-profit and social organizations that are what makes Cleveland Heights so special. I was always taught to surround myself with good people. I'm wise enough to know that it makes even more sense that they are smarter and more knowledgeable than me in many areas. Thank you to my incredible staff for making the Big Fun shopping experience so enjoyable for our beloved customers. Finally, I will miss you, my special customers, whom I will always remember and treat like my Fun Family. Thank you for allowing Big Fun to put smiles on your faces. This notice was supposed to be short and sweet and to the point, but those who know me, know that I can take a Henny Youngman one-liner and turn it into a Shakespearean soliloquy...for better or worse.

So, while I have your attention(some may have read this long winded piece)...We will be extending the sale at VINTAGE APPAREL through Sunday February 11th, where we sell never worn, Made in Cleveland, vintage knitwear clothing. The clothing shop is a block down the street at 1782 Coventry(the old American Apparel)

2 for the price of one...50/50 Sale...However you want to word it. Bottom line: Great deals.

SHOP LOCAL. SUPPORT INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES!!

THANKS FOLKS...

It's been....BIG FUN!!

~Steve

POPS AND ME ... April Fools Day 1991: Opening Day at the old Big Fun(across the street from where we are today)

[cliche-ish]

Momo

Growing up in Vietnam, I was told and taught all kinds of biases and prejudices about people, some of whom I never even met. To give you a few examples, Muslims are bad people who kill other people. Indians are dirty because they eat with their hands. Black people in the U.S. are criminals. White people are better, polite, or civil, and they would always respect and put women first. Couples who move in with each other or get pregnant before marriage are immoral. Gay people are immoral. I never felt too strongly either for or against those claims when I was younger, since a lot of them were about people living in other places I thought I would never really encounter in my life. But I did think some of them were true. I remember when I was in 7th or 8th grade, when I was hanging out with my friends in front of my school, I saw a gay person dressing in women’s tank, shorts, and high heels for the first time. I found myself staring at the person. The person caught my stare and stared back at me as if that person were saying “What are you looking at?” I looked away. I felt terrible afterwards for looking. “Why did I stare? Why do I feel bad like I did something wrong? I never meant to demean the person, but why did I give that person the look?” I asked myself. I did not know how to feel about the incident.

When I stepped outside my little bubble and moved to the U.S. at 18 for school, it was a whole new world for me. I was so fortunate to get to meet kind, talented, sophisticated, compassionate, complex, and inspiring human beings who are from all sorts of religion, race, ethnicity, gender, and nationality. I thought about all the things I was told and realized there were a sea of conflicts within me. All these questions started popping up and haunting me. These are wonderful and good people, yet why are we calling them all sort of bad things? We don’t know these people at all, so how can we judge them? Aren’t there are all kinds of people everywhere? Not all Vietnamese are good or bad. We also have people who kill or are criminals in Vietnam. We also eat with our hands for certain dishes in Vietnam. Not all white people are polite or civil or respect women. Gay people are not immoral people. And whether people move in or get pregnant is their decision and is not an indicator of their morality. It is their life and their choice, not ours, and I am sure they have their reasons, so who are we to judge? Anyone I meet is just as complex as you, me, and another people out there. How and why are we taking an entire community, identity, gender, race, country, or ethnicity, and putting them in a few boxes and labeling them with generic statements that we can’t even prove? It did not feel right to me, because it was and is not right. For 18 years I was ignorant. I knew it was time I shattered my whole belief system and started over.

I do not blame my people in Vietnam for being entirely ignorant. We live under a system that train people to comply and agree to whatever is given to them and never question. It was in our educational system. For instance, our Vietnamese Literature curriculum (equivalent to English classes in the US) asks students to include specific, pre-determined points in their analysis essay for every books or poems in the curriculum, or we will lose points. We are rewarded for compliance, and penalized when we fail or try to break the mold. Critical thinking is not ever taught, if not discouraged. A lot of information about the world we get in Vietnam comes from Hollywood movies, which were not famously known for being inclusive or objective in representing races. Information accessible to the public is also carefully filtered, censored, and curated, and so much of it is often twisted, blocked, or presented from only the sides that were chosen to shape our views in certain ways. That lack of free access to holistic information, plus the no questioning, no critically thinking, has inevitably morphed people’s views about the world in certain, finite ways. Most of the people I grew up knowing are not inherently mean or ill-intentioned (though culturally many of them can be judgmental and nosy). They just did not have what they need to challenge their beliefs or have them challenged. I was one of them, thinking like them, not really questioning. But I have known better, and I am trying my best to refrain myself from that way of thinking (or not thinking), to be open to change my mind, and to stay non-judgmental and unbiased.

Let me tell you a relevant and embarrassing story about me. (I have a lot of embarrassing stories. Stay tuned lol!) After graduating from college, I moved to a different state for my job. My new workplace was a very culturally diverse environment, which I found very cool and at home. One day, I was eating lunch in the break room with a co-worker and very good friend of mine and saw her taking out her lunch. Background info: she is from Nepal. I asked her “Are those dumplings?” and she said, “Yes! I just made them yesterday.” And with all of my ignorance and subconscious stereotype about what an Asian person should be or do, I said, “Wow you did? I just buy them from the store. You are more Asian than I am.” My friend calmly replied, “I am Asian, too, you know.” That was when my world came crashing down inside my head, and I felt like my face just got slapped. I realized what a stupid and ignorant statement I just made. Guess when this happened? Just 2 years ago, after over 4 years of my living in the US and thinking “Hey, I’ve changed. No more stereotyping people!”. I don’t think I had this notion of what being Asian meant before I came to the U.S., but guess what my time here did to me. I was subconsciously associating being “Asian” with things that only represents East Asian people, like Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, etc., probably because of what was being presented to me in the TV shows and movies and the social media pages I chose to watch or follow with people looking like me doing the things I can relate to, and from interactions with my college friends, many of whom were East Asians. Guess what, me? Asia is freaking large and diverse. The Middle East is part of Asia. Countries like Kazakhstan Uzbekistan are part of Asia. Turkey is part of Asia. South Asian countries like Bangladesh, India, Sri Lanka, are part of Asia. This is a very wordy way to make my point that we are all Asians, yet we share very different cultures, appearances, religions, and languages. That break room dumpling incident helped me realize my biases are always going to be there, whether I am conscious about them or not. Yet it is good to be called out, be challenged, and have such slap-in-the-face moments through which I can wake up and realize how troublesome or biased my thoughts can be and change them for the better.

Back to my people in Vietnam, I don’t think my family and many other people are inherently racist, Islamophobic, or homophobic. They just took the things they were told as truths, as their social system desires and designs them to. Not all of them get the opportunity or the right push to leave their bubbles, go out and truly see the world, and meet and get to know people who are different from them. My brother and I, we are more fortunate in so many ways. We are lucky that our parents are both educated people who are very receptive and willing to learn from their children and change their mind, especially my Mom. We are lucky to receive our parents’ support and other upperclassman students’ guidance to acquire our tickets to go live, explore, and get an education in the world outside our country. We are lucky to get to meet people who are different from us and who have changed us in positive ways we could never imagine. We was given the privilege that enables us to learn and embrace the difference in ourselves and in others. And with great privilege comes great responsibility. Now we have the responsibility and honor to share what we have learned with our people, starting from home.

My brother, who has been studying abroad in India and Hong Kong, and I are doing our best to help change our parents’ biased views and eliminate their prejudices. She visited me in the US for the first time during the year that I lived with a roommate who is a Muslim. My roommate bought my Mom flowers to thank my Mom for cleaning our apartment (you know how Moms are haha), and my Mom appreciated her gesture so much. Now my Mom have met a kind Muslim, something that challenged her previous belief about Muslims. My brother also brought back friends who come from India and other countries (I cannot remember which lol. My brother has many friends), to our house in Vietnam, and they stayed at our place. My Mom enjoyed hosting them so much and kept saying how great kids they were. She’s met a few more nice people who are different from her and the people she sees every day. My brother and I get to see the beautifully complex and diverse world outside our little bubble in Vietnam, because our parents have worked so hard to make it happen. Little by little, we are trying to show our parents that world. Hopefully, we can all learn from each other in the process and change for the better.

A follow-up from the break room dumpling story haha. After my ignorant statement, my Nepali friend offered me one of her momos, which is what “dumplings” are called in Nepal. (Now my title makes sense, right?) It was the best “dumpling” I’ve ever had haha. I visited her recently and we made momos again (see picture below). I can now make momos on my own. 😊 Since that day, I have also been very conscious when I am about to make any general statement about Asian people and just use “Vietnamese” or “East Asian” instead. I still think about this story once in a while to remind myself that it is not fun to realize I am ignorant, but this is how I grow, through learning uncomfortably.  

[ruffoverthinksthings]

What are some of Claudine's likes and dislikes? I love how you craft her to be spicy and saucy with her tongue, yet accomplished in her studies and quick on her feet (literally and figuratively).

All that reading of the Bible and being secretary to administrative work, listening in to speechs of a very well-spoken and well-read man, and having to defend her faith and later on seduce and manipulate people paid off dividends.

Likes

Books.

After being forced to read and study the Bible and other (verystrictly curated) books about Christianity over and over again, andbeing denied all manner of literature that ends up on thebarges--either overrun copies of cheap/generic adventure/romancestories, or hardcover copies of serious texts like that of history orphilosophy--Claudine finds herself enjoying finally seeing all the“blasphemous and subversive” material that Frollo has so warnedher will corrupt her mind and turn her away from God.

Philosophy interests her primarily, as she’s always been toldthat there is but One Truth, and that is (the Christianinterpretation of) God, and seeing all the many different ways peopleinterpret the meaning of life, what is our purpose, and the manydifferent explanations as to why we do the things we do interest her.

She develops a great interest in Psychology, especially theconcept of “mental gymnastics” whereby people bend overbackwards, go through hoops, and perform all manner of impressivefeats of reasoning and justification just to defend their beliefs,their choices, and their worldviews.

Of particular interest to her is religious extremism and hypocrisyin Religions of all forms, though for obvious reasons she studiesChristianity first and foremost, and second is the way Auradon’s peoplejustify their unfair and inherently skewed social order.

On a leisurely reading note, she really likes romancenovels, adventure stories, and “slice-of-life” works that showher how relationships are supposed to be, protagonists overcomingoverwhelming odds and their own hang-ups through determination,personal growth, and friendship, and how life is supposed to be whenyou’re lucky enough to be born into a (mostly) well-functioningfamily.

Fashion

Because of the limited materials on the Isle, Maleficent having amonopoly on most supplies, and the Evil Queen taking the lion’sshare of good stuff for herself and Evie, a broke and withoutconnections girl like Claudine was forced to rely on just two fashionstyles:

Highly conservative and simple dresses with long sleeves andskirts, and repurposed linens, and of course

Heavily modified and scandalized school uniforms that theiroriginal owners had outgrown and couldn’t find anyone to hand itdown to

She really rather enjoys the expanded choice she has here inAuradon, access to raw materials and fashion from all over the worldas now she can go to all the Well Intentions branch in Auradon Cityand pick-up all the “pre-loved” items for a pittance, planoutfits in advance without fear of it getting stolen, and justgenerally mix-and-match with more styles, designs, and moods than sheever thought possible

It also helps that Esmeralda bonds with her by doing each others’hair and make-up, making outfits for each other that express thesexuality they’re so comfortable with than hide it like mostAuradonians do, along with assisting the drives for collecting goodsand items for the less fortunate

This is both for the ostracized and forgotten of Auradon, and thepeople of the Isle of the Lost. “True, they could just scavenge itfrom the trash, but it feels so much better to open a box that wasmeant for you specifically.”

Confident and Principled Public Figures

Personal bias: Claudine is a VERY big fan of my interpretation ofElsa in the Descendants universe, modeling herself after her assomeone who is not willing to just let awful systems thrive andquestionable decisions be because “that’s just the way thingsare,” be able to ignore her “Pharisees” without even givingthem the time of day, and she also rather enjoys the fact that theIce Queen is a Mistress of Sick Burns.

After living in a congregation of Yes People that just constantlyexcuse and justify everything in their mind so their fragileworldviews are never shattered, Claudine finds great admiration,respect—and if we’re being totally honest, sexual attraction—topeople that are willing to stand by their beliefs in the face offerocious unpopularity, threats and insults, and have unshakablefaith to one thing:

“The Actual Truth”

In her words, “What can I say? I get wet for someone whorises up and doesn’t back down until you give them a damn goodreason.”

Other people she admires for similar reasons include Queen Tiana,Queen Merida, Mulan, Consort Jasmine, Flynn Rider AKA King EugeneFitzhebert, Queen Rapunzel, King Aladdin, Queen Elena, Queen Belle,Maid Marian, Megara, King Ben, and Jordan

Peopleshe respects, but has something of an intense non-romanticlove-hate-but-mostly-hate relationship with include Sebastian, Zazu,Cogsworth, and Rafiki, all of whom have at some point or another beenher mentors in the art of logic, reasoning, politics, publicspeaking, and philosophy

(“Ifyou’re going to curse like a sailor, at least enunciate your fourletter words properly!” - Cogsworth)

Shehas something of an odd inter-generational friendship with Lumiere,as her premiere sparring partner for “swords and slander” alongwith bonding over his checkered, “not entirely legal” past, andthe fact that, true to the stereotype, is her primary source ofromantic advice

Dislikes

RealityTV

Assomeone who dislikes plasticity, hypocrisy, and shallowness as muchas Claudine, Auradon “Reality TV” REALLY gets on her nerves.While nowhere near as trashy or awful as that of Jersey Shorehere, the point still remains that a lot of this shows areshowing carefully planned, scripted, and highly exaggerated versionsof events being pedaled as “the real, unedited thing.”

Claudinecan see right through the bullshit of the adventures of “The GoodSamaritans” with a quick Google search about all the good thingsthe show has actually done, and whether or not their workstuck after the end of the episode, and it gets even worse when shereads about (and sees for herself) the kind of complacency, lack ofcritical thinking, and shallowness excessive TV watching breeds.

Anddon’t get her started with the replies and the messages sentwhenever she criticizes the shows on Social Media…

Alongsideher fellow 3rd Wave VK Anthony Tremaine, she utterlydespises “the boob tube” and how something so good on paperbecame something so horrible in reality.

SocialMedia in General

Claudinedespises Social Media.

Shehates the careful cultivation of personas and outward looks thatdon’t nearly reflect the ugly realities, the careful cutting andpasting of which elements of your life to show off to others tryingto do the same. She hates the constant emphasis on number of friends,likes, and shares, as if that actually meant any sort of meaningfulachievement. She hates the fact that echo chambers, bias, and trollsare a thing there, constantly getting into arguments that she can’tend with her ultimate, never-fail rebuttal:

Kickingsomeone in the crotch, before flipping the bird at them.

Shehates how it just grows all the insecurities she has about beingostracized and left alone by everyone all over again. She hates thefact that it makes her hyper-aware of her appearance, that it bringsup her self-image issues when someone criticizes her for being toorisque, and she hates the fact that she finds herself constantlycomparing to other, prettier girls, with seemingly more perfectlives, and definitely healthy, happy, and not-abusive-nor-crazyparents and family lives.

Butmost of all, she hates that she can’t quit it.

Shehates the fact that “Outcasts” like her all over Auradon tend toconnect with each other on Social Media and the internet for avariety of reasons. She hates the fact that it’s one of her onlyreal platforms to express her opinion, use the voice that has beenconstantly shushed by her father and the congregation for so manyyears. She hates the fact that this very same thing that helpscultivate the “it’s always sunny and happy in Auradon” is alsothe one thing that is rapidly helping dismantle it as the Outcastsare now finding their voices once more, joining in solidarity withthe VKs to finally make Auradon a paradise for everyone.

Inher words, “I know I’m on Storybook like 16 hours a day,everyday—WHY DO YOU THINK I’M SO PISSED OFF ALL THE TIME?!”

Hypocritesand Opportunists

Thisis the reason she does not get along very well with Audrey, Chad, orher fellow 3VK Richard “Rick” Ratcliffe: they’re incrediblyhypocritical, engaging in mean and cruel behaviour despite seeing andthinking themselves as “Good” people; incredibly keen on jumpingon every last opportunity to better themselves and will flag fromtheir principles as soon as it proves more convenient to switch sides when the going gets tough; or both.

Shehas lived ten years of her life praising and loving a man whoespoused himself as the epitome of Goodness and Righteousness in aland of Sinners and Heathens, and from both personal experience andhearing the other side of the story, learned just how much his actiondoesn’t match his rhetoric, the things he will believe and tellhimself and others in order to justify doing the exact opposite ofwhat it is he’s supposed to be doing.

ThatFrollo was also indirectly responsible for Claudine almost dying in afire doesn’t help.

Inher words, “You can’t do anything with someone that’ll get softand back down at the first sign of trouble, and you don’t wantanything to do with someone that’ll do everything and believeanything just to get their way.”

[adrianodiprato]

+ “If engagement is the ceiling - the highest bar - then we may be missing the point. Think about it: Would you rather hear about changing the world, or do you want the opportunity to do so? A story about a world changer might engage us but becoming world-changers changes us. So, the question for you as a professional educator is: If you had to choose between compliant, engaged, or empowered, which word would you choose to define your students?” ~ George Couros

From Engagement to Empowerment

When reading George Couros’ book Innovator’s Mindset I was reminded of how we, as educators, can have an influence on student motivation and the profoundness that is born from purposeful learning.

If we as a collective group of educators already know what works to motivate students, then why are so many students still unmotivated? Have we become too focused on short-term results and forgotten long-term impact?

We know that many things can impact on a student’s motivation levels – personal circumstance, self-worth, technology “distractions”, the age of entitlement or parents that don’t want their child to take responsibility, fear of failure and the list goes on.

Also think Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (below) is a motivational theory in psychology comprising an eight-tier model of human needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid. The first four levels are often referred to as deficiency needs, and the top four levels are known as growth or being needs. Maslow believes that motivation decreases when the bottom four needs are met. Conversely, he believes that intrinsic motivation increases as the top four needs are either satisfied or met.

So, let us now shift the focus on our own practice and our responsibility in motivating our students. When we set aside all the outside factors and influences on student motivation and basic human “needs” and just focus in on our time with the young people in our care, how are we really doing?

Having been in this game for some twenty-six years now this is what I have come to know about what motivates all learners to move from engagement to empowerment:

1. Relatedness

“To inspire meaningful change, you must make a connection to the heart, before you make a connection with the mind.” ~ George Couros

Students are more motivated to achieve when they have formed the belief that their teacher deeply cares about them as a person and their learning growth. Building this level of trust involves sharing who you are and learning whom your students are.

Begin by building an inclusive community in your room, where the dignity of each person is valued and accepted.

By incorporating a bit of humor, storytelling, positivity and passion in your classes can make all the difference in establishing a positive learning environment. A quality teacher-student relationship provides students with a sense of stability, safety and belonging, which sets the stage for more academic risk-taking in a respectful climate. Provide quality one-on-one formative feedback, encourage open and active participation and always see the good as well as the challenging in your students.

2. Autonomy

“How happy is the little stone

That rambles in the road alone,

And doesn't care about careers,

And exigencies never fears;

Whose coat of elemental brown

A passing universe put on;

And independent as the sun,

Associates or glows alone,

Fulfilling absolute decree

In casual simplicity.” ~ Emily Dickinson

Many parents, teachers and students read “test scores” or ATAR results and conflate this with ultimate achievement. Doing well on a test or getting a high ATAR score shouldn’t be THE only goal. When we shift the focus on to learning and on the individual learner, by connecting to their interests, their needs, and personal goals, we can create experiences that ignite curiosity, develop passion, and potentially unleash genius.

In the excellent book Drive, Daniel Pink declares, “People don’t engage by being managed. They don’t engage by being controlled. The way that people engage is if they get there under their own steam, and that requires sometimes enormous amounts of autonomy over people’s time (when they do what they do), over their technique (how they do it), over their team (who they do it with) and over their task.”

Students are more motivated when they have control and independence over their learning and have choice in how they curate and demonstrate their knowledge, attributes and skills acquisition. This type of learner agency comes from the power to act and requires all students to have the ability to make decisions and take ownership of their own behaviours throughout the entire learning process.

When we control the task too much it generally will lead to compliance. How much real choice do your students actually have with each and within learning tasks? I accept that providing choice can be messy, with students completing different tasks at different rates, making it hard to be consistent with grading. However, once you give students more ownership for their learning you will support them becoming more self-directed and more empowered.

3. Competence

“Education is not the filling of the pail, but the lighting of a fire.” ~ William Butler Yates

Does your language in the classroom contribute to a fixed or growth mindset? Students are more motivated to persist at a challenging task when they honestly believe they can grow and emerge better than they were before. This requires them (and us!) to cultivate a growth mindset, a belief that their intelligence and abilities can evolve through deliberate practice and sustained effort.

Harnessing the power of intrinsic motivation rather than extrinsic remuneration can be thoroughly satisfying and infinitely more rewarding. Creating an environment where all learners are encouraged to take risks in pursuit of learning and growth rather than perfection is absolutely foundational to shifting to an intrinsic motivation and empowerment mindset.

Begin the task from where the learner is at. The task needs to be within their learning zone and allow for a natural productive struggle that stretches and challenges for growth to emerge and ultimately for the individual to thrive.

Remember that growth needs do not stem from a lack of something, but rather from a desire to simply grow as a person. Once individual growth needs have been reasonably satisfied, one may be able to reach one of the highest levels of Maslow’s theory – self-actualization.

4. Relevance

“What worked well in the past may not be relevant or appropriate in the present.” ~ Steven Redhead

What are you doing to make content knowledge and skills relevant to the lives of today’s learner? Students are more motivated to undertake complex tasks that require creativity, adaptability and perseverance, not via extrinsic rewards but through the inherent value of learning that is made relevant to their lives. In my experience I have always found that when students believe they are doing something authentic, something that will improve their real lives or have some kind of impact, they are naturally motivated.

If we only focus on short-term, extrinsic rewards to coax kids through low-level tasks and provide technology as games or rewards to motivate learners instead of designing authentic and personal learning experiences, that draw on each learner’s natural curiosity, passion, and interests, we will not truly connect and empower learners. Learning experiences, where each learner gets to solve a challenge that is meaningful and relevant to their context, can empower all learners to act and do something that matters to them and for the other.

Our often-obsessive focus on testing, scores and league tables has narrowed our curriculum perspective and, as an unintended consequence, pitted schools and educators against one another to look good instead of working together to create the schools and experiences that are great at evolving to meeting the needs of all learners and communities they serve. If students aren’t empowered, they won’t invest in the required content knowledge and skills, attain mastery, and ultimately apply what they are learning.

Once they get motivated to achieve, they will eventually exert their full effort, time, and energy. As we return to the classroom in the next week make a small adjustment to your normal practice and see what happens.

This blog entry is grounded by my extensive professional practice and by Self Determination Theory (SDT), initially developed by Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ryan.

[930club]

9:30 INTERVIEW: PHOX

The announcement of a (potential) final tour is always bittersweet, especially when it comes from a band as magical as PHOX. With just one full-length album out, PHOX has won the hearts of musical tastemakers across the globe, including musician and producer Bon Iver, NPR’s Bob Boilen, and the curators of Newport Folk Festival. As the band prepares to grace the 9:30 stage for what may be the last time, Monica Martin, the lead vocalist and songwriter, was kind enough to answer a few questions about future plans, combating stage-fright, and social justice.

Helen Hennessey [9:30 Club]: In your “farewell for now” Facebook post, you mention wanting to get out of Baraboo, but I also get the sense that you all have a massive amount of hometown pride. How would you describe your relationship with the city? 

Monica Martin [PHOX]: First things first, the name Helen Hennessey is so f**king slick. Good on your parents.

Yeah! So our break isn’t really due to that, as we’ve been living in different spots for a while now, but to answer the latter half of the question: for some members of PHOX, Baraboo is nostalgic and their families are there! For others, the rural midwest’s more narrow-minded undercurrent can be suffocating. So it's bittersweet.

Matteo, you and Zach did the music for The Dam Keeper, a short Pixar film. How was that experience? Is it a field any of you want to explore more during your indefinite hiatus?

Matteo Roberts [PHOX]: Working on The Dam Keeper was a total creative dream. Not unlike our experience with PHOX, the whole project kind of landed in our somewhat unproven and inexperienced laps basically because we had amazing and daring friends that really liked what they heard and wanted to see what was possible. What began as a humble little personal project grew into a project requiring a studio, dozens of animators, and editors. Our little Garageband score ended up at Fantasy Studios, recorded with the Magik Magik Orchestra. It was an incredible experience peering into the animation world and the Pixar folks, who were very inspiring and genuine. We were very lucky to work with such young, aspiring professionals who set an awfully high bar for that crazy balance of productivity, objectivity, and kindness in a collaboration. 

The directors of that film actually left Pixar immediately after The Dam Keeper, and now have their own indie animation studio, Tonko House. In fact, immediately after this tour, Zach and I are going into production with Tonko House on a special Hulu Japan tv series loosely based on The Dam Keeper. So, not only would I give anything to score film again, it somehow is already happening again!

Besides the musical projects most of you are working on during the hiatus, are there any non-musical plans you want to share?

Monica: Matteo and his partner Adrianna bought a house outside of Chicago, and there are tentative plans to build a studio together! I think Davey is still flexing on his producing chops! But I suppose those both are still in the world of music. Ha! It seems clear there will be an element of music in everything we’re doing respectively moving forward. OH! I am hoping Matt puts out a graphic novel, his first outline is due on Valentine's Day. 

Justin Vernon (aka Bon Iver) produced your premier, self-titled album. How did you guys connect? What was it like working with him?

Monica: Actually, Sweet Brian Fredrick Joseph who worked within April Base studios produced our record. It was so nice to have a voice outside of the band to help us with melodic and sonic decision making. When I was in the vocal booth I realized I should also pay him a fee for being my therapist, I unpacked so much about the songs while we recorded. It was very meaningful bond made for all of us.

The PHOX social media pages feature many calls to political action. Do you feel a sense of responsibility, being in a popular band, to spread those messages?

Monica: Yeah, I have no interest in lying to people about what I think is important regarding the social and political climate of the US. I wish I could float through days without thinking about it, but many times daily it’s made clear to me that there’s imbalance, fantasy hierarchy, and the complete disregard of the realities of the “other.” If I was born into the majority, I’d maybe peacefully and in ignorance be able to focus on gardening or something, but I happen to be at the intersection of several different minorities so I can’t currently live unscathed by America. I can only speak up and share my perspective and hope I encourage more people to consider life outside their own, and participate in dialogue that will at least get folks to shake up the rosily-skewed version of the US that’s been taught to them, that rids them of the capacity to take seriously the voice of someone outside their identity.  

I had a friend in the music industry tell me recently they don’t want to talk about political things on social media, because it might affect who cares about her music. This really hurt to hear, while at the same time I understand that people choose to do what best protects their livelihood. On the other hand, I don’t give a f**k if I fail to pander to homophobes or bigots any longer, and have a hard time respecting that logic… I mean, then are they really your fans? I have no interest in appealing to everyone and becoming no one, and I do believe it's the responsibility of artists, within their abilities without draining all emotional spirit, to find ways to open hearts of people who just haven’t had a different, more socially open, train of thought exposed to them. 

The last time you played 9:30, part of the show was dedicated to more intimate, stripped-down versions of some of your songs. Do you plan on doing that again at your upcoming Club show? What made you want to do that in the first place?

Monica: I do think we are! It was a cool feeling to play songs in bigger clubs like we did when they were being written with acoustic instruments in the house we all shared. It just gives another facet to the show -- I’ve always loved hearing stripped down versions at shows! 

Monica, you’ve mentioned having stage fright at a few of your shows. What have you done to get passed that, and do you have any advice for others dealing with that same fear?

Monica: I’m still struggling with severe anxiety, but with the help of a doctor and therapist, I’ve finally found myself on a more focused track to finding a sustainable way to soothe my spirit. PHOX’s 2 1/2 year run of near constant touring started with us hopping on a plane to Norway on the day of my dad’s funeral. I spent the entirety of that tour not processing that, which in ways I am only now better understanding put me on edge, had me self medicating/ drinking more to feel less, and amplified all of my depression.

My advice for people who have general stage fright is to remember that you could literally sh*t yourself on stage and you’d still wake up the next morning. And people would forget shortly thereafter. And life would go on. I can sometimes talk myself out of very dreadful thoughts by imagining myself sh*tting myself, and how little it would matter in the long run. And I laugh and carry on — unless I’m being dragged into the panic void, and that leads me to advice for people with horrible racing thoughts, heart palpitations, and tunnel vision panic attacks: if you can afford it, or have insurance, see someone. Find a support group, if not in your town, find them online. Do everything you can to calm your atmosphere. Drink holy basil tea, drink kava root tea. Breathe deep and give yourself all the space you need. This was really hard for me for layered reasons I won't get into here, try and shelf your cynicism and do yoga. I know. I know. And if you still feel sh*tty, and natural approaches don't aid you, really try and process how you feel about potentially going on medication, outside of the stigmas you've been taught about mental illness. Talk to someone. You can feel better. xoxo.

You all knew each other for a long time before forming PHOX. Do you think your familiarity made it harder or easier to work together?

Monica: We had varying levels of closeness when we all moved into that house five years ago, so I think it was more-so the fact that we all had a "hands on deck" attitude, and from that bred great synergy. 

During your time so far as a band, you guys have done things like play Newport Folk Festival, have a Tiny Desk Concert, and open for some pretty high-profile acts. What was it like getting those calls? Is there a specific moment that stands out to you?  

Monica: Every time you get asked to participate in such things, I think there’s always a minute where you short-circuit when the news hits your ear, and then you jump for joy, then the fear creeps in, then you undulate between the joy and the fear, and then it smoothes out to a nice even-keeled bliss. HA! At least for me. I feel like Tiny Desk Concert was huge heartswell for us, iTunes Festival, Conan, traveling overseas 5+ times, I mean, everything! I would have never thought. It all feels so important, forgive the cliche, but the fact that anyone was moved by something we made together is an incredible thing. 

-Helen Hennessey 

Send PHOX off at 9:30 Club on January 25.

[entergamingxp]

Cake Bash Interview — Laura Hutton on Indie Gaming in 2020 and Cake Philosophy

June 11, 2020 2:20 PM EST

Laura Hutton sits down with DualShockers to discuss Cake Bash, developing indie games in an age of uncertainty, and what constitutes a ‘cake.’

In 2020, there’s a lot on the mind of the average gamer — through a global health crisis and mass civic unrest, many games and high-level publishers are delaying their games to both respect the moment, account for changes in the work environment, and realize all possible press potential. In a way, it’s almost the perfect time for fledgling studio High Tea Frog’s first game, Cake Bash, to release.

Sitting down with DualShockers, Artist and Director Laura Hutton talked a bit about the indie minigame collection ahead of the demo’s launch next week as part of the Steam Summer Game Festival. Perhaps even more importantly, Hutton discusses a bit about Cake Bash‘s subject matter and what should be considered a “cake.”

Lou Contaldi: Watching some of the gameplay, you really get a Mario Party mini-game vibe–what have been some of the biggest mini-game inspirations in creating Cake Bash?

Laura Hutton: We wanted to capture a bit of the magic of the 90’s classics, which I still play with my family after 20 years! We watched a lot of videos from Mario Party and Pokemon Stadium for inspiration, and I think what makes them so memorable is their characters and scenarios. One of my favourites is “Burgerini” from Rayman Raving Rabbids – doesn’t matter if you lose because it’s such a good laugh – it’s a masterclass for what makes a great party game.

Each of our minigames has its own unique design, and we’ve kept focus on the baking theme for all of them. It’s quality over quantity for us and a lot of minigames we prototyped didn’t make it – I’d much rather have fewer great games than loads of games that are rushed! I’d say that Nintendo games have been our biggest inspiration.

LC: What game is the dev team currently playing that isn’t Cake Bash?

LH: Quite the list! Final Fantasy XIV, Satisfactory, Yakuza 0, Astral Chain, Stardew Valley, and Final Fantasy VII Remake, to name a few. We don’t really have a favourite genre, and try to play as many as we can. I think it’s important to try as many new games as possible, but FFXIV is our most played right now – it’s good team-building to work together to defeat primals. Before that it was Monster Hunter World, I’m a charge blade fan, Clement chose the hammer, and Tommy went for the hunting horn – of course he’d go for the bagpipes, being Scottish.

“It’s quality over quantity for us and a lot of minigames we prototyped didn’t make it – I’d much rather have fewer great games than loads of games that are rushed!”

LC: High Tea Frog is new as a developer, but the three-person team underneath draws from a wealth of projects that most “core” gamers would recognize — Viva Pinata, The Division, Far Cry among a few. Has any of the work or experience in these past projects influenced the work on Cake Bash, either mechanically or in balance? If so, how?

LH: I think our experience influenced the way we work behind the scenes more than the content of the game itself, but working with realism on The Division definitely gave me the confidence to attempt a more challenging art direction for Cake Bash even though I’m the only artist! I went for a ‘drawn-to-life’ look, which needed the characters and environments to be as realistic as possible.

Being part of a bigger team before meant that we could adapt a lot of the processes which worked into indie life. We wanted to keep the good parts of the AAA development pipeline, and we’ve recreated our favourite tools and scripts which made our lives easier. Our past experience also means that we know how hard it is to make games, so we’re not knocked off track with unexpected curveballs.

LC: Moving on from Ubisoft, what has been the biggest surprise or hurdle in creating your own project from start to finish? What advice would you offer other soon-to-be indie developers?

LH: It’s a lot more pressure to have so much input in the game – when things go wrong there’s nobody but you to take responsibility! One of the biggest difficulties was at the start – we were bootstrapping (living off our own savings accounts) and struggling to find a publisher.

For the first six months of independence we were making a single-player game, but after it didn’t get any interest we went back to the drawing board and started from scratch. Three prototypes later we started working on Cake Bash while also doing contract work on the side to pay the bills. For contracts, AAA games in your portfolio go a long way. It was hard work but ultimately a good decision for us to start again, and we have a publisher now which means we can focus more on development.

LC: Cake Bash is a remarkably wholesome game — very much like an Overcooked — being released in a year with a ton of turmoil. Has this been a motivator in creating and sharing your game or a personal roadblock to overcome in the tumultuous indie gaming market?

LH: Thank you! Adapting to working from home has been a challenge, I’m often distracted by tea and snacks so my productivity has taken a hit, but it’s also difficult not to get demotivated by the bad news. Sometimes I worry that I’m not doing enough, in the current climate, by ‘just making games’, but I’m trying to remember how much comfort I found in gaming when times were difficult, and hoping that I can bring a little bit of happiness to others. When we launch I’m sure players will be looking for a bit of light-hearted fun, and hopefully we can deliver!

We’re still actually on target for our original launch date, even after everything that’s happened, and I’m really proud of that. We’ve worked hard to get this finished and can’t wait for people to start playing soon.

“Sometimes I worry that I’m not doing enough, in the current climate, by ‘just making games’, but I’m trying to remember how much comfort I found in gaming when times were difficult, and hoping that I can bring a little bit of happiness to others.”

LC: Based on promotions, it looks like the definition of “cake” is fairly loose in terms of playable pastries. We have doughnuts, muffins, and eclairs on the list. How did you curate the pastry list in the game? What ended up on the ‘baking’ room floor?

LH: Hah, yes. We were considering adding a stack of pancakes at one point too, so the definition is definitely a loose one. We wouldn’t include cookies or else we’d have to call it “Biscuit Bash.”

LC: Existential Question: Is “ice cream cake” considered “cake” or “ice cream?” Follow up: is a muffin just an unfrosted cupcake?

LH: That is a difficult question. If it has layers of sponge, I’d say it’s a cake.

We have muffins and cupcakes in Cake Bash, and I did have a bit of a crisis there – are they the same character? Is this a Zelda / Sheik situation? But then I remembered why I chose them – all the cakes have a unique silhouette, even for their skins, and the cupcake always has a pointy bit at the top but the muffin is round. Muffins puff up more at the top and overflow at the edges of the casing, and they have eyelashes but the cupcakes don’t. They’re definitely different.

“We have muffins and cupcakes in Cake Bash, and I did have a bit of a crisis there – are they the same character? Is this a Zelda / Sheik situation?”

LC: “Fork Knife: Gateau Royale” is one of the better word plays in indie gaming. Will there be more dad puns or wordplay through the game?

LH: Oh wow, what a compliment! There are as many puns as I could squeeze in without annoying everyone. A good test for a successful pun was if our programmer, Clement, understood the joke even though English isn’t his first language. I also had the strict rule of only one pun per screen, otherwise it would have been a punderful overload. I also like subtle ones most like ‘prove yourself’, because they’re easier to sneak in… We used to have ‘Thyme’ for the end match countdown but it was too savoury.

LC: The Campfire minigame has just been revealed, where did the inspiration come from and what was it like to design?

LH: Campfire is my favourite minigame! I can’t wait for people to play it in the Steam Summer Festival. We wanted to design something a bit more relaxed and this one was really fun to make. I looked at a whole bunch of references of different states of cooked marshmallows and worked out the best way to make them look realistic!

We also spent ages balancing the scoring, to make it fair yet challenging – we made sure that you can get really good at this minigame with practice. You can even get a perfect score of 100 in the ‘high heat’ of the fire if you’re a total pro!

It seems like forever ago but our first prototype of this game was rubbish – we nearly scrapped it! You roasted popcorn for some reason, and the player had no control over the heat level so it was a boring waiting game. Just goes to show how important iteration is, and I’m glad we kept trying with this one.

Cake Bash launches on Nintendo Switch, PC, PS4, and Xbox One later this year; if you are looking to dive into some of the dessert action, you can try out the game beginning June 16, 2020 on Steam.

June 11, 2020 2:20 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/06/cake-bash-interview-laura-hutton-on-indie-gaming-in-2020-and-cake-philosophy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cake-bash-interview-laura-hutton-on-indie-gaming-in-2020-and-cake-philosophy

[dorothydelgadillo]

6 Email Marketing Newsletter Lessons Learned from Sending 129 Issues of THE LATEST

About seven months ago, we set out on an ambitious, some might say crazy, endeavor at IMPACT. We decided we were going to throw out our three-year-old daily blog notification email in favor of an email newsletter delivered just three days a week, that curated our content and was handwritten (or eh, typed, in this case).

This would dramatically impact our email traffic, shift our workloads, and alter our interaction with our audience -- but we like to live dangerously.

But Wait, Why The Change?

When we first launched THE LATEST, I reflected on our decision saying:

“As we move into our new position as a media company and publisher, we’re sharing even more killer content and news... each day, but we know that can be hard to keep up with and sift through.

The last thing we want to do is give you more information than you can handle or add more noise to your inbox. So, we came up with something that will surface even more value, but without as many emails.”

We developed THE LATEST as a more meaningful and valuable way to share content with our audience, rather than just an automated email.

It goes beyond new articles to incorporate new videos, podcasts, tools and templates, live and on-demand webinars, info and highlights of industry events, and exclusive content only subscribers can have access to.

Plus, all of this is delivered with unique insights and context so readers can grasp the full scope of the story even if they’re just skimming.

We knew this was a risk.

We were pulling back our presence in inboxes and essentially creating a situation where people may not give us their click, but we were okay with this.

THE LATEST was born with the goal of creating a better, more helpful experience for our readers; to delight them; to build a more personal bond with them. Traffic, at this point, was irrelevant.

Flash forward and as of today, our director of web and interactive content, Liz Murphy, and I have sent a total of 129 issues of THE LATEST with this in mind.

In the process, we have learned a great deal about email marketing and newsletters including the six lessons below:

1. Newsletters Have Earned a Bad Rep

While in essence newsletters sound like a no-brainer (fewer emails, only the best content, etc.), we learned that they’re really not everyone’s cup of tea, mainly because of bad experiences in the past.

Last month, I shared a poll in IMPACT Elite and uncovered that 83% of respondents don’t subscribe to newsletters because they already have too much email, while the remainder said they get no value out of them.

Some said:

“I get so much email that unless it's a client....I'm very, very selective now of the newsletters I join.” - Chris B.

“So tired of all of the email….I have gone back to the rule if I don’t know you personally or have received a personal referral I am deleting you.” - Susan G. P.

“I think newsletters, when relevant and well done, are powerful to us as users. Unfortunately, I also get newsletters that aren't great - like some that have 50+ resources in them every week. Give me enough, but not too many, make it readable and engaging.” - Dan M.

Clearly, a few bad newsletters ruined it for the rest of us.

To some, this may have seemed like a red flag to abort our mission, but this feedback actually taught us a lot about what we should and shouldn’t be doing.

Readers only wanted emails that were concise, relatable, and from people, they felt like they knew personally. This brings me to our second big lesson:

2. Get Personal

It’s email marketing best practice to send your messages from an individual, not from a company name, but this lesson goes a bit farther than that.

It’s not enough to put your face and name on an email newsletter, you need to put some of your heart, unique perspective, and voice into it -- perhaps even some of your personal life depending on your brand.

“I feel like once a week I get to sit down and write a personal letter to our subscriber base,” shares my fellow LATEST author, Liz Murphy. “I’ve gotten the most responses to something when I really put myself out there and took a risk sharing stories about my life.”

A kind response to one of Liz's personal intros

And I can say the same.

People don’t want to open emails from cold, robotic organizations.

They want them from people they’d actually enjoy talking to; people like them; individuals who think and feel, both fail and succeed, and aren’t just full of sales pitches.

Our most successful issues of THE LATEST and frankly, the newsletters we love the most, all do this effortlessly.

They connected on a more human, personal level.

3. Don’t Be Shy About Incorporating Humor

Do you know what’s one of the most effective ways to connect with someone on a more human level? Humor.

Everyone loves to laugh, so when it comes to newsletters, humor can be one of your most powerful tools.

Cracking a joke or using playful language creates a sense of comfort and approachability and shows your personality. It, again, humanizes your brand and make people enjoy (and be more willing to listen to) what you have to say.

We usually capitalized on humor using GIFs and hidden easter eggs, but we also try to get playful with our segments.

Take Weekend Nonsense, for example.

In every Saturday issue, we share a random piece of content (not always marketing related) that made us laugh or put a smile on our faces.

Past Nonsense has included spoofs on Fyre Festival, videos of babies trying to eat oversized burritos, and Burger King’s hilarious AI-created commercials:

4. You Can’t Make Everyone Happy

Now, while we’ve won plenty of people over with this humor and of course, our content, there are always some who decide we’re not for them.

Like any company, we have our share of un-subscriptions and, to help us understand why, we ask for feedback on our unsubscribe form.

Some responses are vague saying “the content just wasn’t what I was looking for” or that “they get too much email as is,” but then there are people who go into detail.

For example, one person remarked how, when we first launched the newsletter, we included featured images for each article and that ever since we removed them, he felt like the emails appeared disorganized and hard to digest, so he unsubscribed.

While we never like losing a subscriber and we definitely understood his point, as marketers, we had to let this go. We can’t make everyone happy.

We made this specific change after a long test of including images versus not including them and finding that the variation without images got more engagement from readers.

So, we solved for the majority.

Unfortunately, this has to happen a lot in marketing.

Most businesses are limited in how much personalization and customization they can offer and have to default to what performs best for the majority of their audience and we are no different.

That being said…

5. Test Everything

When we initially created THE LATEST, we had to make a lot of assumptions and decisions based on what we knew about our audience and other successful newsletters, but this kind of approach should only ever be a starting off point.

Once we had a process and template in place, we started testing everything about the email -- images, as mentioned earlier, subject lines, link colors, and headline lengths among other things.

This has and will continue to help us more effectively deliver something our audience enjoys and, likely in turn, improve its performance.

With all of the technology available to us today, via HubSpot, Optimizely, and other tools, there are no excuses not to be experimenting with your email as a marketer.

6. Email Is Not Dead

I know it seems like a lifetime since Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan starred in You’ve Got Mail and email got its first real mainstream exposure (it’s been 21 years, to be exact), but the medium is still alive and well.

While, like blogging and social media, email has become saturated with spam, it can still be effective when done right.

The key is to respect your audiences and their attention.

THE LATEST is not perfect, but by testing, showing a little heart and humor, and overall, respecting our audience’s inboxes, we will get a little bit closer with every issue.

How do you feel about email marketing newsletters? Does your brand or organization say them? Do you enjoy subscribing them? Let us know your thoughts in IMPACT Elite!

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/email-marketing-newsletter-lessons

[houseofcas]

Final Reflection

CAS experience has definitely helped me to become a person who is creative, active and engaged in the community. Realising CAS activities next to doing my homework and any essay-writing was always a great way to keep a conscious mind by providing the balance every student should have in his life. Keeping my CAS portfolio was demanding yet truly enriching. I owe to it developing a habit of reflecting on my actions. Not only has it improved my analytic skills but also made me learn twice as much from each activity as I normally would. I am proud to say I have become reflective noticing the impact my actions have on my personality.

At the beginning of the CAS Programme, my goals were to try out new things, challenge myself and personally develop. I believe I have managed to achieve those objectives. Planning my CAS activities helped me identify my own strengths and develop areas for growth. I recognised how my cooking skills would use an improvement and carried out activities towards it. As people we all differ in our skills and abilities, however, we should thrive for the variety. Adding cooking to my set was something I know would not have happened if it was not for CAS. Thus, not only have I gained new skills but also learnt how important aforementioned variety is.

An important feature of CAS to me were the challenges I undertook. I realised how introducing myself to new things can be rather enjoyable than stressful. Being almost addicted to drawing with pencils was my safe haven, though I admired different techniques of others. Experimenting with paints, charcoal or brush pens extended my love for the Arts. I discovered multiple sides of it and managed to break some barriers of mine improving my creative skills. Succeeding with a technique that was completely new to me was probably the most rewarding of CAS experiences making a real risk taker of me.

I would have never thought that engaging with issues of global significance can bring so much satisfaction for an individual. People often feel they do not make a difference and my working with the European Youth Parliament organisation proves how easy it actually is. I have worked towards educating youth on the issues such as cyberbullying, gender inequality, climate change, circular economy, unemployment and many more. It is at the same time the activity I am most proud of and that I enjoyed the most. Participating in around 12 EYP events had a major impact on me and my personality improving my self-confidence and letting me realise how enjoyable doing things for others is. Additionally, this activity allowed me to collaborate with people from all over Europe – the internationality and thus the wide range of opinions and ideas they had to exchange developed my open-mindedness making me more respectful towards others’ points of views.

Previously, sports activities were only minorly part of my life which I did mostly for fun. My perseverance in cycling for the past 2 years helped me develop an appreciation towards sports as a part of a healthy lifestyle. I improved my condition and noticed how physical activity can have a positive impact on other parts of my life starting with the mood and well being. I hope I will pursue this as I see how significant it is for my health and thus will be for my future life.

A major part of my CAS experience was the CAS Project which I made in cooperation with several other students from my class. I can say I have fully recognized the benefits of team working as I cannot imagine carrying it on my own. People working together hold much more power which is not counted in the number of hands but in the number of ideas and solutions to potential problems that they may come up with. Organising a conference for over 150 participants was probably the most challenging of all CAS experiences and I believe it would not be possible without the support our team members had for each other.

When I was volunteering for TEDxKatowice I got a chance to carry out my own initiative of a city game that introduced the participants to Technology, Entertainment and Design in Katowice. It shows how I initiated and planned another CAS experience. A city game would be impossible to manage without tons of drafts of the map and tons of the ideas that needed to be tested. I believe it was exactly how I became such a principled student taking the responsibility for the project I initiated under the name of TEDxKatowice and the supervision of its curator.

Thanks to CAS I have discovered the ethical repercussions of my decisions and actions. Different volunteering activities I carried out were mostly simple tasks for me. However, I have learnt to look at things more holistically, taking others’ perspectives. It made me recognize how what I choose to do can positively impact others.

I see CAS having a huge impact on how my life will go in the future. It made me newly discover my interest making me more aware of them. I believe what defines me as a person is what I really do. I am proud of every single CAS activity I carried in the past 2 years. They all had an impact of different nature on my personality, however, looking at CAS as a whole I see one major outcome. It showed me who I want to be. Those having the greatest significance would be all the service experiences I carried. I have discovered how much I enjoy working with others and for others. I will be the most thankful for the open-mindedness I gained throughout the CAS experience. I developed an incredible appreciation for the voices and opinions of others and found out how important they are when working collaboratively.

I must admit I did not expect CAS to become so meaningful for me. I wish to continue being a person who thinks creatively, challenges herself and most of all, does not remain indifferent to the surrounding world.

[maryhare96]

The Secret to Making Employee Advocacy Work

Does your company empower its employees to act as brand ambassadors on social media? Isn’t it about time?

The movement, known widely as “employee advocacy,” has gained great momentum in recent years. Companies that choose not to embrace it miss out on tremendous opportunities to amplify their messages, increase the authenticity of those messages, and better rally their employees around the pursuit of the brand’s vision.

Roope Heinilä is a respected industry leader who’s been spreading the “employee advocacy” gospel for years. He’s the CEO of Smarp, an app that powers employee communication, advocacy, and engagement programs. Roope agreed to talk to me about employee advocacy and offer tips for making it work. You’ll learn a lot about this important topic in the 10-minute interview below and a transcribed version of the interview that follows.

What Employee Advocacy Means in 2017

Barry: What is employee advocacy?

Roope: Employee advocacy at its core is about employees promoting the brand that they work for. It’s pretty much about turning employees into brand ambassadors for their employers.

Of course, employee advocacy as a concept has been around for ages, but with the advent of social media, employees’ ability to affect a large amount of people has really gone up quite a bit. Now they’re able to affect hundreds, if not thousands.

Barry: I’ve gathered that a marketing department taking up social media all by itself is often too small of an effort. Is employee advocacy a way to amplify the company’s messages?

Roope:  If you think about social media—any of the networks, LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, etc.—they’ve all really been built with the relationship between people at its core.

Facebook was not built to connect companies and people to each other—it was built to connect people. What employee advocacy does is it allows companies to tap into that connection that people have and to actually humanize their brands that way and really utilize the core elements of the social network for both the personal benefit of the employee and for a business benefit.

Barry: Making the company’s voice louder and increasing reach is one benefit, but are there others?

Roope: Yeah, it definitely shouldn’t be just about increasing our reach. More important than reach is the authenticity.

If you think about it from a personal perspective, which one do you trust more: a message coming from a friend or a message coming from a brand? In addition to just getting the authenticity there, you’re also able to engage your employees and really make them be part of the brand, so that brand is shaped by the employees, not the other way around.

This is very much a core part of employee advocacy. It’s about getting your employees to be your brand. And that impacts not only marketing, but it impacts communications—even HR—through better employer branding, recruiting, and, most importantly, it impacts the engagement that your employees actually have with the brand. Through an employee advocacy program, they become more engaged through engaging with branded content—actually understanding what the company stands for, understanding its mission, its vision, its future.

Barry: That’s interesting. It’s sort of a morale builder.

Roope: Yeah. Today’s companies are pretty much people and laptops. The only thing of value is the people in the company. If you think about it that way, you should really be getting those people to be your brand. No matter what you do, they will be a part of it.

A brand should be shaped by its employees, not the other way around. Click To Tweet

Barry: So I buy in. I have, let’s say, a mid-sized company, and I love the idea of having advocates across the company. What are my challenges for getting started?

Roope: First off, you’ve got to rethink the whole concept. Instead of thinking about what I was just talking about from brand perspective, think about it from an individual employee’s perspective.

Why would you, as an employee, want to take part in employee advocacy? That’s where your own professional branding, personal branding, increasing your awareness in your networks, as well as furthering your own career comes in.

The first challenge and the biggest challenge is always getting employees on board. The way you do that is by actually making the whole employee advocacy program be employees-first, which means that from a company’s perspective, first off think about, how does this help my employees become better at what they do, and how does this help their careers?

Barry: The people that you are trying to onboard—are they bound to be 100 percent willing?

Roope: You should only aim for the willing ones. There are many ways of doing it. We’ve seen companies start with large amounts of people, and we’ve seen companies start small. Both of those have their ups and downs, but the key thing in both of them is that it has to be completely voluntary participation. Otherwise, when you’re trying to boost engagement, when you’re trying to turn your employees into brand ambassadors, you might be doing the exact opposite.

Barry: No twisting arms?

Roope: That doesn’t work. You might get some short-term benefits, but in the long term, you’re just going to be hurting your company. You should still provide everybody the opportunity to become advocates, provide the training that’s needed, and also, probably most important from the company’s perspective, recognize the people who choose to be advocates.

Barry: It makes me think of an ironic mind shift, because here management is making some decisions to put a program in place and train people and onboard people, whereas just a few years back, it seemed like the executive suite would have walked up and down “cubicle row” going, “What are you doing on Facebook? Get back to work.” So is there a mind shift taking place in terms of attitudes about social media?

Roope: When we started out in 2011 and we went to pitch companies talking about employees and social, the usual response we got it was, “Yes, will you be able to provide us with the software that blocks social media completely?”

Luckily, a shift has happened over the last five years, where companies are now seeing social and their own employees much more as an opportunity than a threat. To me, it’s very weird that companies have been willing to hand their brands over to celebrities, to brand ambassadors, to customers, but not to their own employees before. How can you trust your customers, trust professional advocators, trust athletes, etc., with your brand if you’re not going to trust the people who created that?

Sustaining Employee Advocacy

Barry: I’ve asked you some questions about how to get started. What happens next in an employee advocacy program?

Roope: Hopefully you will have been able to engage your employees in the program. You’ll have a lot of employees sharing, creating your messages, really staying up-to-date on all the latest company news. I believe the next stage is that, instead of just providing them the news, providing them the content, that we engage our employees in curating that content.

I believe the knowledge in companies does not just come from the communications department or the marketing department. It comes from the actual employees working in product development, working in sales, working in any of the core functions in your company. If companies are truly shaped by their employees, that shaping should not be limited to employees just “parroting” your marketing messages, but becoming a part of creating them.

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