#I am eating drywall as we speak

[paramountie]

Fraser is literally so distracted this ep. The way he says WHY as if he never considered being locked away from everyone and everything is something to feel sorry about. WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THAT FOR A KID

[pyreshe]

every time i think about good kid from the l.ightning th.ief musical in reference to miss livvy i see fucking shrimp colors and begin to gnaw off my own leg im so-

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

[stealingpotatoes]

The last episode of Ahsoka-

Literally- blow my mind- I had to stand up at least 3 times cause I was just so ???!!!!! !?!?!?!?!?!?!!??

Words can’t describe

The feeling that felt - xD

YEAH IM GONNA GO INSANE UNDER THE CUT ONE SECOND:

BITING THE FUCKING DRYWALL. BITING THE DRYWALL GNAWING CLAWING AND EATING IT. IM JUST. WHEN THE STAR WARS IS GOOD!! WHEN THE FANSERVICE ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!!!! LIKE YES WE GOT TO SEE TCW ANAKIN AND TCW AHSOKA IN LIVE ACTION BUT IT ALSO ADDED TO THE STORY AND GAVE US CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FOR AHSOKA AND SAID YEAH, THE FUN TONE OF CLONE WARS WAS BC THE CHARACTERS COULDN'T DEAL WITH IT ANY OTHER WAY. THEY WERE PEACEKEEPERS AND CHILD SOLDIERS WATCHING FRIENDS DIE ON THE DAILY AND IF THEY DIDNT JOKE THEN THE GRIEF WOULD TAKE OVER. AND THEY DONT SEE THAT IN THE MOMENT BUT ADULT AHSOKA REALISES HOW STRANGE IT IS

AND YEAH HAVING HER PLAYED BY A CHILD (also wow ariana greenblatt does such a good job i literally cant not imagine her when i think of babysoka now) RLLY DRIVES HOME HOW YOUNG SHE WAS. HOW FUCKED UP IT WAS. BUT ALSO WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES OF WAR ARE!! ALL THIS SAID WHILE FORCE SENSITIVE CHILD JACEN'S SO HEAVILY IN THIS EPISODE. AND W THE KANAN MENTION!!!! LIKE ITS POINTING OUT LOOK THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IN WAR AND IF AHSOKA DOESN'T END THIS THEN JACEN WILL HAVE TO BE LIKE HER AND HIS FATHER AND I AM ONCE AGAIN BITING AT THE DRYWALL. IT DIDNT JUST GIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IT GRABS YOU BY THE FACE AND SAYS THE RETURN OF THE EMPIRE IS SERIOUS. WAR IS SERIOUS. ITS NOT THE CARTOON YOU GREW UP WITH.

AND ALL OF ANAKIN JUST GESTURES TO ALL OF THAT. HAYDEN SLAYED SERVED CUNT THROUGHOUT HE'S SUCH A GREAT ANAKIN NOW HE HAD SO MUCH RANGE TO THE CHARACTER AND THE FLICKERING ANIVADER AND RED LIGHTSABER. HE'S BOTH AT ONCE AND AHSOKA HAS TO ACCEPT THIS AND IM EATING DRYWALL AGAIN.

calming down for 2 seconds the cinematography was great this episode and the pacing was a definite improvement from ep1, which filoni also directed! this played into his directing strengths a lot better w the action and emotion. i won't lie i'm still not sold on the show as a whole i do think eps 1-3 were okay i guess, 4 was a step up and 5 is like. wow ok go girl. also the way they used anivader in this episode made me rlly sad for the kenobi show bc that show should've been smthn like this, using him as a vision for obi-wan's development instead of the villain of the show bc thats a tired fight but hey! this is abt ahsoka not kenobi i digress. SPEAKING OF loved how it was actually ABOUT the titular character for once. anyway. going insane. i don't have too much faith the show can keep this up but i'll be happy if it can reach smthn close to this as it goes on

[biblicallyaccurateangeloncrack]

Genshin and hsr characters as pinned messages (out of context) from discord servers with my friends: a shitpost

(uhhh cw some nsfw jokes and cuss words)

wriothesley: "i do not want an alpha transformation happening rn "

march to danheng: "my coquette lungs are better than your emo lungs"

hu tao: *ghostly voice* "oooooogly boogly why'd you skadoodly me?"

xiao, learning how to spell: "i lvove elmo music"

childe: "he is in my feet"

klee: "yeah my grandma's actually kim kardashian"

bronya to cocolia when she got sick as a kid: "Mother please carry me outside before to see the sky one last time before the consumption takes hold of my body and soul"

hu tao: " "weenis", said eerily"

bennett: "THE SANDWHICH TOOK ME OUT"

blade: "that link is longer than my plans for the future"

serval: "i pledge allegiance to the american bra"

itto: "i am in heat growls the summer has come and i am in heat growls"

zhongli: "*old man voice* when i was your age i fought kids"

stelle/caelus: "when i was my age i eated drywall"

fu xuan: "JING YUAN ILL SNIPPERS YOU UP IF YOU DONT STOP WITH THIS GOOBEROUS SHIT"

diluc, about venti: "i like to prentend he was a fever dream i came with at 4am"

fréminet, trying to speak french: "they said Lyney tu dumbass"

sampo: "I think Luka would beat up Luka while Luka watches. and then Luka would join in and beat the living daylight out of Luka"

silver wolf, about blade: "ppl with lactose intolerance boutta have their 2nd period ongomg"

kayea and rosaria: "we're a match made in the deep dark depths of the abyssal caves in fuck knows where"

jingliu: "am i.........one of those queers........."

yanquing: "shout-out to my home dawg Charles aka history teacher for dropping this wisdom on me"

shinobu: "itto if you say anything penis related you are banned"

ayaka as a kid: ""please take me to the garden so that way i can see the shining sun for the last time before my frail body decomposes with the disease known as ligma""

lyney: "imagine Neuvillette seeing a bunch of orphans blow up infront of him"

yoimiya: "are you really friends if you dont have matching vagina bracelets ??"

wriothesley: "My name is actually marlinus maximilianus Merlin guys"

caelus/stelle: " *bites your toes playfully* "

Pompom: "i eat gender for dinner"

xiao: "is life without endless pain and suffering only for it all to end leaving nothing but emptiness and all your suffering being just for the entertainment of the entity that we call god. an entity who is the real reason as to why we humans end up hurting others, for pain and suffereing is nothing but an endless spiral no matter how hard you try."

kafka, messing with blade: "do you like the gay foot"

yanfei: "YOU CANT LET IT GO LET IT GO YOUR WAY OUT OF A RESTRAINING ORDER"

kokomi: "DEMENTED DOLPHIN"

Furina: "they oui oui'd me"

shenhe: "the cld never bothered me anywa......."

kiara: "agressive meow"

ganyu: "are you a tree cause i wanna eat you"

dainsleif: "while youre kissing you bf or whatever ill be watching in the walls"

venti: "I FART ON PLANES"

scaramouche: "childe I will shave you bald"

itto: "perry plaptypussy"

seele, in response to hook's drawing: "10/10 Einstein could never"

razor, to bennett: "I WILL LICK YOU TO SLEEP"

sucrose, about to collect more bones: "*deranged loud breathing*"

kequing, to half of liyue: "SHUT UP COLOR WHEEL"

cyno: "genderfluid people's favorite song is liquid smooth"

kequing: "the feminine urge to beat up your coworkers with a stick"

dehya: "i piss on biphobes" kaveh: "but what if they have a piss kink..."

albedo: "he looks like a failed science project"

baizhu: "blowjob? nah, blownose"

silver wolf: "story time, honkai star rail made me leave my brother at a gas station and i do not regret SHIT"

blade: "if i end this year without killing myself its a miracle"

columbina: "btw dead bodies take less space if you bury them like theyre standing up"

zhongli: " *cracks back and walks away leaving a trail of dust behind"

@muachiro @geetkk @veimwah @etherific @zohakutenstan

[beastofwant]

I want to take religious horror in a new direction. people are really really annoying about "ex-evangelicals (and other protestants) using aesthetics of catholicism" as a thing and it's probably because they're iconic. there's such an emphasis on ritual that's not present within the kind of christianity I grew up in, and it's a lot easier to condemn, to esotericize, when something is so visibly pagan. we drink his blood and eat his body and yes we believe this is literal. like. do you get me, it's easy to make horror about "what if catholics were vampires or secretly a cult" because I mean fucking look at them lol

When I think of my own experiences, though, that's not what I think of. I think of churches (they're not compounds, we swear) so big you'll get lost in them. Endless yellowing hallways and classrooms that sit empty more often than not. I think of sitting in what's basically a concert hall with music that, if you weren't listening, could be playing on any radio station. It makes your head hurt from the volume, but how else would God hear it?

I think of the chlorine smell of the baptismal pool, water warm as your body, being held underneath for just a little bit longer than you can handle and just as you're about to aspirate water, being pulled back up- SAVED!- by the wrinkled hands of your pastor, who has been in his 70s since you were 8 years old, and you're hitting 30 now. I think of sitting in my seat, feeling like I'm floating above my body, as I am given a play-by-play of the end of the world. They point to the war as a sign of the end times. Isn't there always a war? Isn't the world always ending? He's really coming back this time, they tell me, so I best be good. I best not sin. I best start praying.

The church is hungry and it won't let you leave until you GIVE YOURSELF FULLY TO GOD. Give it all up, brothers and sisters! If you think you're fucked let them lay their hands upon you, turn your radios and televisions up so the TV preacher-man shakes your drywall, and speak in tongues with them. Pretend it's not you making a fool of yourself, pretend that it really is the Holy Spirit speaking through you and you will be SAVED.

You gave a really good performance, there. The people BELIEVE! Here's your helping of their tithe. Yeah the congregation's all hungry and poor, but that's because they don't believe hard enough. You do, and that's why God rewarded you with three new cars, and a private jet, and as many vacations as you want, and as many drugs as money can buy. Jesus loves you.

[blmpff]

Blorbos From BL That Will Make Me Protect Them At EVERY FUCKING COST

tagged by @elizabethsebestianhedgehog thank you! <3

when I'm tagged in "make a list/what/who's your fav X, I blank out and have never enjoyed anything ever" etc etc with that out of the way! off the top of my head:

Let me divide it into 2 categories actually: characters and actors

Characters:

To My Star 1&1: Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon

Yes s2 took us by surprise with the tone change, but it worked as and so well. They make me eat drywall and climb ceilings etc etc. TMS 1&2 is my favorite bl out of all countries ever, do with that information what you will. that jacket throw was felt by everyone in the village trust me i was there

The Warp Effect: Army and Joe

T H EM! com👏mu👏ni👏ca👏tion👏 Gmmtv fucked up FlukeThor but ArmyJoe stay iconic. this gif by @tenprems lives in my eyeballs rent free

Laws of Attraction: Cha(r)n and Tin(n) and GALAXIA and Rose and Maya

... do I even need to say anything? all iconing in their own way

Under The Skin: Shen Yi and Du Cheng

Okay, it's a cbromance BUT IT COUNTS because I said so. The enemies to lovers is THERE, the devotion, the admiration, the lust, the height difference. They went from "get out, you killed him" to "we can't let snipers shoot, my friend is in there". S2 when I am vibrating out of my skin. Fanfic writers I owe you my life.

Choco Milk Shake: Uncle and Milk

just s2 when.

Only Friends: Boston and Nick

Look, out of all that was going on I was invested in them the most, and the editing failed them. I was open about not expecting happy endings for any pairing (though we all knew that the branded pairs would get them), but I still wanted it to make sense. Theirs didn't for me. I wish we got the OF they wanted to make: with 6 forever-side-characters actors. im still here

2. Actor pairings I'd die to see in something better than they have been in so far (aka I like their chemistry but the script was lacking):

Aou and Boom (We Are ain't it either, sorry)

Earth and Bank (Destiny Seeker was fine, and we do not speak of Marry Go Round. let my man death grip his mans neck to all his and mine content)

ETA: Toru and First (their chemistry in Y Destiny was through the fucking roof, War of Y was a mess (derogatory). And now they're not even a thing anymore)

Okay woah that's too long already lol

Tagging everyone who want to share their blorbos! <3

[agentmmayy]

january & february rotation

i mostly listened to songs i’ve had on repeat last year these past few months, but here are some new ones i enjoyed!

love u already - fleurie: i haven’t met you yet but i love you already!!!!!!!! dreamy and wistful and so hopeful i love it 

one i wanna be with - trella: oh bop!!!!!!!!!!! this ENTIRE SONG just makes me so happy!!!!!!! it’s so full of love!!! every lyric hits but especially i can’t help but wish we met before we did

i know what love is - honeybee: this song is so mellow and sweet i adore it. i’m always a sucker for love songs like this. it jumped me right from the lyric you gave me your heart like you had it to spare. also i am obsessed with how this song mirrors the classic i wanna know what love is

i walked a mile in my room - miki ratsula: when i tell you i still haven’t recovered from this!!!! will you take me as i am will you love me still tomorrow? this song has me by the throat. still not even fully processed the TITLE jesus. 

california - lisa mitchell: this song is on a playlist @152glasslippers made me and it’s been stuck in my head for the past 2 months. obsessed with how in this song california isn’t just a place it’s a state of being and of mind. california is just a placeholder!!!! a name put to something unnamable so it can become tangible!!!!! the lyric that hit me the most was shadow weighs a ton bc wtf. it’s longing and hopeful and also at the same time foreboding? 

petals on the moon - wasia project: they had me at moon what can i say. it has such an infectious beat i want to skip along to it. this song makes me think of walking down a busy sidewalk during a cool windy day and people-watching and reflecting the entire journey until getting home. it’s whimsical. hand down favorite part is i feel like i can’t help but always feel so blue but in the end i know i must keep pulling through. it’s the epitome of i can’t go on, i’ll go on!!!

let go - stories, amelia mclean: this song is so gorgeous and gentle not only with the lulling chords but also the vocals and the continuous build up and release. 100% have cried to this a few times in the last month. it’s accepting and comforting and encouraging 

empty vessels - lilli furfaro: THE LYRICS IN THIS SONG ARE INSANE!!!!!!! i literally cannot wrap my head around it. it’s just so good. the entire concept of being empty and being filled up with love again and again only to pour it out again and again and repeat the cycle?????? not having a purpose or being used until that love comes along???? at least it means i’m useful now and then??? i was made to pout out all my insides??? i‘ve been sitting in your highest cupboard???? i was built to hold the weight of safety??? MY BELLY FILLED WITH RICH ANNOINTING OILS???? YOU SNAP ME BY THE NECK TO BREAK THE SEAL????? I AM CRAWLING ON THE CEILING!!!!! CHEWING ON DRYWALL!!!!! WAILING AND SCREAMING AND SHAKING!!!! this is another one of those crazy, destructive love songs that i eat up every time 

always & forever - lilly kershaw: the natural follow up to empty vessels. each lyric blew my mf mind but especially you said you’re gonna love me full and i said how could that be when i’ve never been whole and i’ve never been free. like????? 

antiques - holden laurence: god the desperation in this makes me want to claw my chest open and rip my heart out. the beat fucks in this jaunty rhythm that’s such a juxtaposition to the haunting lyrics and vocals. then the bridge?????? i promise to be strong i promise to believe in love that lingers on i’ll see you in my dreams. I’M CALLING THE POLICE. i have no ground to stand on for this opinion and not to blorbo this but i will. this is a tess/joel song. not only because of how apocalyptic this feels (which is a whole other discussion) but also meet me in the space between all the words unsaid when we could not speak meet me i’ll be waiting for you there. thanks for coming to my ted talk

the subway song - delacey: bawled my eyes out listening to this one for the first time whew babey! take me home i feel homesick i don’t know where i’m going too many faces but none i know and i’m alone. excuse me!!!!!

[wariodemambo]

"Erm? Erm erm erm?? I am eating all of the drywall in your house as we speak???"

See, Wario would probably! Probably have a bigger issue with this. (Besides, he can't say the Noise broke in, he always leaves his door unlocked...) But. He was currently entertaining a different guest... To the same meal?

She put her silverware atop her plate of drywall, then frowned directly at The Noise.

❝ Do you, like, mind. ❞

[temmes]

I’m awaked

I’m losing sleep again

I don not know what happened,all i had was just a sense of fading terror created in my half sleep.it was just a typical,primitive feeling of lurking danger.

Maybe the tenant across my hallway had made some noise and it passed through the thin drywall,or it did have something lurking outside. i still want to know the reason,i was bothered by insomnia for a long time,taking sleep aid only helped me felt asleep at 1or2 and wide awake at 4.i feel like the dude in the movie fight club who has schizophrenia

Before sleep i read a book about medication and wisdom of buddhism written by a Vietnamese monk talking about mind image like pond,any bad thoughts like rocks and stuffs throwing into the pond; treat the present moment like the only moment,live a full life,be mindful.do not worry about the past or the future; think of facing bad stuffs like dead and be prepared with it,so the mind will be stable and free from being chained by different negative sources.

Just like the old sayin:”you are what you eat” i think”you are what you think”is way more potent, the monk told me,at the final state of medicating or thinking,we should think/feel without telling objects between subjects,it’ll be a whole. nails came from iron ore,you can imagine they go reverse motion,and back to be the original state,back to the cave,to us will be back to the womb.i sort of understand the meaning of it and also i am not so sure. it sounds too supreme to me,i can’t even know why it should be like this and what does it feel like...

As i was writing these words,they started come from my feeling and they are now coming from my wakening mind,totally different departments managing same one thing,the present mission,outputting my thoughts and feelings.sort of like an addict who is getting high,feeling in the zone,wrote down some shit, wake up next day see it and says”damn,it is shit.”

I played horror games just a little,did not even read the Cthulhu novels which I’m interested and i already having a related bad thought. a small noise came from the bedroom in the mid night(this house does made weird noises a-lot at night)made me think of a little horror story,a monster is hatching,or metamorphosing,like with a green and yellow weak radioactive skin,a deformed,half rotting fat person like zombie covered with big popping pustules curls up on a corner of the room some times it twitched a bit and it heppened fast,you never know what is going on inside the room next to yours.and you will never bother to open it just to check it out until it dawn.that sense of horror made me speechless.

Speaking of dawn,i heard the birds are chirping,its 5 already,and my sanity started to be fully recovered.i always feel like i definitely got some mental issues,gene or meme matter not more,depression at first,then thought about schizophrenia,and think back about ADHD.maybe the monk is right,i am what i consume and im what i ruminate,maybe i pull these objects out too far and stare at them too deep,maybe just let go,let them to be a part of myself if they really want me that bad.

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] its the way its 5 am and im Waiting for things here also wide awake as hell fresh and i still wanna reply ur ask so bad we could just take forever on JUST HHHOWOWWW (CLENCHING FIST CHEWS MY FINGERS EATS MTSELF OFF THE PLANET) JUST HOW x i a o

5AM OH MY GOD?????????????????? that is so fucking funny literal opposite sides of the world. and we really could go on forever i feel like eventually itd just be repeating ourselves over and over in absolute agony but like we'd be hand in hand doing it yknow? what if with One Hand we held hands and with the Other Hand we clenched our fists and chewed our fingers and ate ourselves off of the planet like that's such a mood i Get it i really do. kicking drywall chewing glass using my mind powers to throw everything in my vicinity across the room as we speak. xiao.

[eternaldrukkarii]

i never thought i’d write a police au but here we are

warning: depictions of a crime scene and dead body. also, did i take this crime scene from twau? mayhaps a little bit.

when makkari and phastos walked onto the crime scene, druig’s attention had strayed from the victim’s body. instead, he stood over by the window, eyeing the bullets lodged haphazardly in the drywall with his hands clasped behind his back. with his back to them, he hadn’t heard the way she snuck up on him.

a quick tap to his right shoulder had him turning to his left and makkari grinned in spite of her failed joke attempt.

good morning.

he smirked, the corner of his mouth curling upward.

not for this poor bloke, it’s not. he signs.

makkari tilted her head in acknowledgment. true. she nods at wall he’d been looking at. weird finding bullets in the wall and not the dead body, no?

that’s what i was thinking, he says as he signs. i suppose we could just chalk it up to the culprit being a bad shot but these casings don’t match the gun next to the victim.

“i’m happy you guys are brainstorming over there,” phastos calls out from over by the victim, his gloves on and forensic equipment out. druig looks over to him and makkari follows his gaze to do the same. “but we do have a job to do, makkari. in case you forgot.”

makkari rolls her eyes as his signs catch up to his words and walks over to her partner. druig follows quietly even as the hardwood floor creaks under the weight of his boots.

phastos’ partner easily falls into her role, helping him collect evidence around the house as he examines the body. druig waits patiently for his initial thoughts.

the morning sun, so clear and golden, shines on the body on the floor. it’s an odd scene for sure, such beauty and such tragedy bleeding together as his blood spills and stains the floor. his skin is so pale it nearly reflects the sunlight streaming in through the open window.

phastos doesn’t speak until he’s finished. druig waits.

“casings in the wall, a gun on the floor and bullet wounds in his head,” phastos frowns in confusion as he kneels before the scene. “yet a bloody knife and a stab wound in his abdomen. you’ve certainly got yourself a game of clue here, druig.”

“tell me about it.”

makkari shows back up beside phastos, her findings collected and packed away. she sighs as she looks at the victim’s body. do you know who he is?

he shakes his head. not yet. no wallet or identification on him. apparently, this isn’t even his house.

all three of them nod in understanding and phastos sets about putting his equipment away as makkari sidles up to druig. her dark eyes peer into his, soft and warm bathed in golden sunlight. druig suddenly finds himself to be a morning person.

this was called in pretty early, she sighs and nudges him gently. did you eat? or get a coffee at least?

if i said yes would you be proud of me?

druig, makkari frowns. you need to take care of yourself.

yes, i know, he drawls slowly as he signs like he’s done this song and dance before. he very much has. god forbid anyone but me actually solves a crime in this fucking city.

no, makkari shakes her head. one of her hands wrap delicately around his wrist as her other stays up to sign but her eyes are insistent enough. because you deserve it. i don’t like seeing you tired and fatigued and wearing yourself too thin.

druig blinks at her in slight surprise and makkari’s cheeks redden as she realizes what she’s said. it’s not often they cross the boundaries of casual flirtation so it always shocks him when one of them do.

she shrugs and ignores the way he smirks at her blush. how about lunch? are you free?

why? you want to take me out?

maybe.

well, if i wasn’t i am now.

she smiles at him and he finds his smirk turns genuine, just a little bit. but her eyes sparkle in the light, the rest of her expression painted playful.

they stare at each other. basking in the sunlight hitting their faces just right. wondering who will look away first.

phastos groans a few feet away and the moment is ruined.

druig scoffs in frustration as his eyes slide to the floor before looking impatiently at phastos. makkari looks in the same direction and her face falls at his exasperated expression.

he looks at the two of them like a mother would her misbehaving children.

you two were not just flirting over a dead body.

they fail to correct him.

he sighs with his entire body.

“oh my god.”

[kendochick-moor]

ItaSakuShi - “Foolproof”

Itachi and Shisui collected their tea and coffee, respectively, and left the coffee shop. In addition, Itachi carried a small take-out box of treats to share that night.

“Stop worrying. Sakura said she had a plan,” said Shisui.

Itachi nodded, his brow lined with stress regardless.

“That’s… part of my concern.”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

With a quiet sigh under his breath, Itachi’s aloof expression returned. 

Shisui patted him on the back as they made their way to Sakura’s house.

*****

Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata, Ino, Sai, Itachi, Shisui and Sakura gathered in Sakura’s living room that evening, drinks spread across the coffee table. It was ‘extended’ Team Seven ‘family’ game night, and a few of their closer friends had come to join them. And Shisui and Itachi.

“Who’s up for some ‘Win, Lose, or Draw!’,” asked Sakura. 

“No way, Sai’s team always wins that one. How about charades?” asked Naruto.

Sakura’s brow twitched.

Plan A, foiled.

Itachi and Shisui shook their head at her minutely, so Sakura forced a smile. Taking a breath, she nodded at Naruto.

“Great idea. Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata, Ino, you’re on one team. Sai, Itachi, Shisui and I will be on the other team,” said Sakura.

“No way, that’s too many Uchihas on one team,” said Sasuke.

“Either way, there will be an unequal number of Uchihas,” said Itachi smoothly. “There are three of us.”

“You can be on Itachi’s team next time, Sasuke,” said Shisui.

“You two know each other too well,” argued Naruto, looking at Shisui and Itachi. “How do we know you haven’t pre-planned what you’re going to do?”

“You just changed the game,” reminded Ino.

“Oh yeah,” said Naruto. “Still! What if we’re just playing into your hands!”

“Naruto, I think we should start the game,” said Hinata sweetly, squeezing his elbow. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week with you…”

Sakura turned grateful eyes on Hinata, who gave Sakura a hidden half-smile.

An ally. Score.

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, okay, but  just this time! Next time, we break up the Uchihas.”

A frisson shimmied down everyone’s spines. Under the table, Shisui kicked Itachi, who immediately released the sudden explosion of killing intent.

“Let me just re-arrange a few things!” Sakura removed the easel with the oversized paper to the closet and shoved the extra furniture aside with her pinky. It hit the wall at ramming speed, leaving a dent in the drywall. “Great! Who wants to go first?”

“Don’t we need to choose themes?”

���No. Spontaneity is the name of the game, tonight! It will prove that nothing at all was pre-planned, plotted or arranged in advance.”

“That’s awfully specific,” remarked Sasuke.

Sakura’s smile bared teeth.

“I like it,” said Ino, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Now huddle so we can choose who goes first.”

[Both teams huddled, and Sakura vowed to wear whatever outfit Ino chose for her the next time they hit the clubs together, without argument.]

“Ready?” called Sakura after a few minutes.

“Ready. I’m going first!” called Naruto.

“Eating ramen at Teuchi’s,” said Ino deadpan.

“I haven’t even started yet!”

“Am I right?”

“.... yes…”

“Point to our team. Sakura, your team’s up next,” said Ino briskly, moving things along.

[Including shoes. Sakura would even let Ino choose her shoes.]

Before Shisui, Itachi or Sakura could speak, Sai raised his hand.

“I volunteer as tribute.”

“Hunger Games?” guessed Shisui.

“No, he’s just saying he volunteers to go first,” explained Sakura.

“Oh.”

“There’s no drawing in this game, Sai,” reminded Sakura helpfully.

Sai looked at her, blank-faced. For two minutes.

“Are… are you playing?” asked Sakura, breaking the silence.

“I changed my mind.”

“You’d like someone else to go first?”

“No. I changed my mind on my topic.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Less talking, more charading!” called Naruto from the other side of the room.

“This is boring,” said Sasuke.

“You’re boring,” shot back Shisui.

Hinata giggled. Sakura side-eyed the two empty wine bottles beside Hinata. Well, that hadn’t taken long…

Suddenly Sai leapt into action. Literally. He hopped into the air, bicycling his legs furiously before falling over. Then he got to his feet and did it again. And again. And again.

“Is he having a seizure,” inquired Itachi softly, leaning into Shisui.

“Uhhhhhhhhh.” Shisui looked at Sakura, brows lifted.

Sakura, meanwhile, studied Sai as if his ridiculous movements held the secrets of the universe.

“Riding a bicycle and falling off. A child learning to ride. The cycle of death and rebirth,” spouted off Sakura, fiercely trying to ascertain what in the actual fuck Sai was doing.

“Ding. Timer’s done,” drawled Sasuke.

“Our turn to guess!” shouted Naruto, knocking over his tower of beer cans.

“Ino, do you know?” asked Hinata, turning to her teammate. And hiccuping cutely.

“It’s Charlie Chaplin and his brother riding a penny-farthing bicycle in 1919, in behind the scenes footage from “Sunnyside”,” said Ino. Hair-flip. “Obviously.”

Sakura gaped at her traitorous best friend and wondered, just for a second, if she had used her.. No. Ino wouldn’t cheat. She really did know Sai that well.

“Correct,” said Sai. “You are an excellent wife, Ino.”

“I know.”

Forcing out words, Sakura blinked and looked at the opposing team. “Points to you. Congratulations. That was… impressive,” -ly alarming. 

“Our turn again! We’re in the lead! Hah, you guys suck!” jeered Naruto.

“Soon,” murmured Shisui to Itachi.

Itachi nodded imperceptibly while Sasuke’s head whipped around. He stared at his brother suspiciously.

“Would you like a turn, Sasuke?” asked Itachi, catching his brother’s eye.

“The floor is yours, cousin,” added Shisui.

Sasuke stiffened.

“No.”

Scenting blood in the water, Shisui leaned forward. “Come on, Sauce K.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What are you, chicken?” taunted Shisui.

Sasuke frowned.

“No.”

“Buck buck.”

“Should I be imitating Shisui, who is my team mate?” asked Sai.

“No,” snapped Sasuke.

“Yes,” laughed Shisui and Naruto.

“Buck buck buck!”

“I said, don’t—”

“Buck,” said Sai flatly. “Buck.”

“I hate you,” seethed Sasuke.

“Get on stage, Sauce!”

“Buck. Buck.” Sai focused his lips. “Buckbuckbuckbuck—”

“Just do it, Sasuke,” sighed Sakura, rubbing her temples. “Your team’s in the lead by two points, it’s not like you’re going to lose anything.”

“Beyond your dignity,” added Shisui, grinning.

Glaring balefully at his cousin, Sasuke stepped to the middle of the room.

“Use of Sharingan is against the rules,” reminded Sakura. “No Tsukuyomi during team game night.”

“Tch.”

“Wait, that really happened?” asked Naruto. “I thought I dreamed that.”

“That’s what he wanted you to think,” said Shisui.

“Dude, that’s not cool,” said Naruto to Sasuke. “Bro balls before eyeballs, remember?”

“Shhh, Naruto. It’s Sasuke’s turn,” slurred Hinata. She set down her wine glass and smiled drunkenly at her husband. “You’re very brave and doing a good job, Sasuke,” praised Hinata, coaching Sasuke as if he were a toddler.

Sasuke’s nostrils flared as he glared openly at Naruto.

“Uncle Fugaku!” guessed Shisui.

“Hey! It’s not your turn to guess!” shouted Naruto at Shisui. He turned back to Sasuke. “Uncle Fugaku!”

Lightning crackled around Sasuke’s fists.

“Uncle Fugaku wishing he was as cool as Kakashi!” amended Naruto, leaning forward.

A thousand birds chirping echoed through the room.

“Riding a carousel at a summer carnival when you were five, excited that your big brother was riding the horse beside you. Your face is sticky with cotton candy and you’re elated that you get to spend the whole afternoon with Itachi,” guessed Ino evenly. “Your favourite part was when Itachi carried you on his shoulders. He won you a goldfish that you called Nissan that Itachi replaced every time you drowned it in the bathtub. All his incarnations are buried under your mother’s rosebushes, and you pretended not to see Itachi ever making those sacrifices, when you caught him when you were sixteen and he was still burying your goddamn fish because he wanted you to have a perfect childhood while he slaughtered Konoha’s enemies as a hot martyr.”

Silence.

“Correct,” said Sasuke, taking his seat.

Shisui exploded. “What the fu—” 

“It was a nice memory, Sasuke,” praised Itachi, interrupting his cousin.

Blushing, Sasuke turned away from his brother.

“Three points to Ino, I mean Ino’s team,” said Sakura tiredly, slumping onto the sofa beside Itachi.

As subtly as he could, Itachi rubbed her back.

“Does that mean it is our turn again?” asked Sai.

“Your turn to fail,” called Naruto.

Sasuke smirked at that. 

Sakura’s jaw clicked. Asshole.

“I’ll go,” offered Shisui.

“What about changing the teams up?” hiccuped Hinata. She took a sip directly from the wine bottle she was holding. Her glass had vanished.

“No! Uh, not yet. Let Shisui go first,” said Sakura, sitting up taller.

Beside her, Itachi, too, leaned forward, intent on his cousin. 

This was it. This was their chance.

“Ready,” said Itachi and Sakura in unison.

Shisui nodded.

His eyes on Itachi and Sakura, Shisui held his hands out in front of him, like holding a football. He lowered it to the height of his groin—

“Me giving you head while Itachi takes me from behind!” shouted Sakura.

“On our knees, in her kitchen, living room, bedroom, back yard, ANBU HQ, the training grounds one time, Sasuke’s bed when Sakura was angry with him—” added Itachi.

“Wait, what?” said Sasuke, confused.

“—Oh, and that time Kakashi helped, with the clone-thing—” reminded Sakura, turning to Itachi.

“I sent him a thank you card,” said Itachi.

“Thanks, totally slipped my mind,” said Sakura appreciatively. “Long story short, Shisui, me and Itachi boning like fuck bunnies for six months, ready to announce our engagement!”

“Correct!” cheered Shisui, running up to Sakura to take her in his arms and spin her around before setting her down and kissing both her and Itachi deeply.

Silence.

“I was gonna say football,” said Naruto.

“Wait, what?” repeated Sasuke, dazed.

“Knew it,” huffed Ino, smiling.

“Are we still guessing?” asked Sai.

“Sakura’s shirt’s on the floor, I don’t think so,” said Hinata. 

“Wait, I disagree with his verdict. I’m sure that was football,” insisted Naruto. “Protest. New judge for arbitration.”

[Amourous noises coming from the couch where Sakura ground into Itachi’s lap and Shisui and Itachi’s lips melted together, soft groans escaping them all.]

Unperturbed beside the increasingly naked threesome, Sai raised a hand.

“I offer to be an impartial judge.”

“That was football, wasn’t it?” said Naruto, brows furrowed.

Beside Naruto, Hinata’s head tilted to the side as she watched Itachi, Sakura and Shisui writhe together. Her cheeks pinked. She tugged on Naruto’s sleeve.

“With your clones, could we try… Hmmm…”

Ino covered her mouth to hide her laugh.

“Wait, I get it. Shisui used his fucking Sharingan! That cheater.”

Ino snorted.

“That’s very consensual, Sauce K, I assure you, there’s no cheating there.”

“Verdict?” demanded Naruto.

[Sakura’s panties flew across the room, followed by her bra and Itachi’s hair tie, which bounced off Sasuke’s head.]

“Sport-related, but not football,” concluded Sai.

“Oh, my,” gushed Hinata, cheeks flaming at a particularly erotic sound Itachi and Shisui made together. She couldn’t tear her wide eyes away. Her Byakugan glowed.

[Now there was chakra involved.]

“Tonsil hockey,” snorted Ino, slapping her knee.

“Correct, my perfect wife,” praised Sai, smiling at Ino.

“Wait, did they say my bed?” asked Sasuke, very belatedly.

“I have given my verdict. Half-points to both teams,” declared Sai. “Shall we go for another round?”

“I think it’s time to leave our hosts to their own devices,” said Ino, setting down her wine glass. She reached for Sai. “Shall we go send the babysitter home?”

“Yes.”

Ino and Sai took their leave.

“Naruto…,” purred Hinata in Naruto’s ear.

“Huh? Yeah, Hina… Oh. Ooooooooh. Later, Sasuke. Bye Sak… wow, I did NOT know your brother could do that, Sasuke… Congrats….”

Naruto and Hinata left.

Still seated on the couch, Sasuke’s brow furrowed.

“Shisui used the Tsukuyomi,” declared Sasuke, pounding his fist into his hand. “That’s the only explanation.”

“Either participate or get out, Sauce K,” moaned Shisui. “Ngh, Sakura…”

“Shi… ‘tachi…”

[Rhythmic more than just kissing]

Shutting the door behind  him, Sasuke left the game night, clapping his hands together and calling, “Kai!”, the entire way down the road.

As he turned the corner, though, Sasuke doubled over, wheezing, his cheeks burning.

If he and Naruto didn’t acknowledge it, the threesome couldn’t go public. He held firm to the knowledge that Sakura wouldn’t dare go that far without his and Naruto’s support.

*****

Inside Sakura’s home, curled up together in her bed.

“So we’re all decided, Sasuke was faking?”

“Closer to denial,” sighed Itachi. “He’s stubborn.”

“Naruto?” asked Shisui.

“Hinata agreed to flash him as necessary so he agrees to anything.”

“Wonderful. I finished the guest list, so we’ll choose the venue and caterer next…”

[Soft cuddling ensued]

THE END

Based on the following prompt:

y-k-2 said:                                                                                                                            Hiii moor! I dunno if this is late but I was wondering if a mini funny fic about team 7 finding about itasakushi would do? Thanks all the same! Enjoy your break!                           

Thank you so much, @y-k-2/ y-k-2 !  This is un-edited (for now), but I hope you enjoyed. ;)                   

[myhockeyworld87]

Not So Dangerous Liaison - Sidney Crosby - Part 16

Word Count: 3,431

POV: Sidney’s

Warning: Language, NSFW, Smut

Notes: Sorry this is late guys, but here’s who was listening at the door hearing what the new drafties were discussing. As always feedback is greatly appreciated. Hope everyone is doing well and loving that hockey is finally back. Happy Reading!

Not So Dangerous Liaison Masterlist

As much as you understood that (Y/N) had to go play tour guide to the new recruits; you absolutely hated it. You'd grown so accustomed to your days together. The two of you fell into a nice routine, waking up in the morning and usually having some form of sex before doing an actual workout. Though some mornings that was foregone for another round in bed, which you totally preferred. Then it was making breakfast together, followed by each of you doing some work. (Y/N) took the living room as her makeshift office, as she said working in the same room together would lead to neither one of you getting work done. Which she was more than likely right, as you found yourself sneaking out sometimes and just nibbling on her neck from the back of the couch.

 You conned her into letting you go with her when she checked on the progress of the team house she was in charge of, telling her that you wanted to see where they were at with it; when in reality you really didn't need all those construction workers ogling over her.  Their eyes would linger the moment she walked in, and you'd place a very possessive hand on her back or waist and suddenly those eyes were back on the drywall in front of them. She was doing an amazing job with the place, which Mario told her one night when the two of you joined him and Nathalie for dinner.

 All in all, the two of you were inseparable that week and a half. So her even leaving for a few hours was not something that sat well with you, but you got it and kissed her goodbye telling her you'd see her soon. It was about an hour later that you decided it wouldn't hurt to meet the new guys. It was just an introduction from the captain, didn't all teams do that. Well, you'd actually already called and congratulated them when they were drafted, but real-life welcomes were always best. At least that's what you told yourself when you pulled into the arena.

 She was out taking them on a tour of the town, so you wander down the halls only to find Mario in his office. You knocked on the open door, before walking in. "Hey boss, didn't expect to see you there?"

 "Though somehow I did expect you," he chirped back with a cheeky smile.

 You couldn't help the blush that rose up to your cheeks. "Well, you know…"

 "Yeah, Sid I do. I remember it all too well." He stared off and you could tell her was thinking of his wife. "You have that same look as I did way back then you know?"

 He didn't have to say what it was. You were fairly certain, you were falling in love with (Y/N), though you've yet to admit it to her or yourself. Call it fear of rejection or something else, you just knew that if you threw the L word out there and she didn't say it back, you'd be crushed. You just needed to give it a little more time. She'd already gotten scared about the fact she was dating you; you didn't need her to go running if you told her you loved her. "Yeah I know," you admitted to Mario. "Just trying to give it time."

 "And you're doing this by showing up, while she's working?"

 "Well when you put it like that," you grabbed the back of your neck, rethinking your decision to come down here.

 "Relax Sid, I'm sure she'll be happy to see you. Plus the new kids will flip out." Which was your excuse for coming down. "While I have you down here, come check out this new skate blade sharpener Dana got in."

 "You know how I am about my blades. I kind of love the old machine." It was well known in the league that if you had a problem with your blades, one of the equipment guys would run down and sharpen it instead of just putting on new blades on like everyone else did. You were kind of particular about those things.

 "Just give it a look. (Y/N) just text and said she's out on the ice with the boys and will be in the locker room shortly, so after you check this out we can drop in and say hi. Then take your girl home, like I know you want to." You liked that he called her 'your girl.' It was the first time in your life that you wanted the whole world to know how you felt about someone.

 "Fine." The two of you headed to the equipment room which was adjacent to the locker room. Dana was in there and the three of you talked about the new sharpener until you heard voices next door. You listened intently as you heard her explain the unique design of the room, a hint of awe in her voice and you remembered walking in there for the first time and all the feelings you had. You could just see these eager young players being introduced to their first NHL locker room. Their eyes were probably wide taking every little detail in. You and Mario continued to listen to the conversation, holding back a bit before you walked in to say hello. (Y/N) left, explaining she had a phone call to take and you were just about to go in, thinking that she'd be surprised when she came back when Mario held you back. What you heard next had your fists clenching at your sides.

 The things these boys were saying. Well, correction it seemed to be one kid, and you wanted to punch his face into the wall. Mario stopped you though, whispering low. "Follow my lead." The two of you moved into the room. "Gentlemen, it's good to have you here in Pittsburgh." All five heads turned at the sound of Mario's voice and in unison, they all looked over, an awestruck look on their faces. "I hope you're finding your stay here pleasant?"

 "Umm…ye…yeah," stuttered out one of the kids, Ryan Jones you thought. You hadn't been paying too much attention when (Y/N) was going over all their bios the night before as you'd been too busy working on getting her out of her clothes. But you were sure you wouldn't forget their faces today.

 "Good, good." Mario continued not really introducing or shaking hands with any of the men. "So I trust (Y/N)'s been good to you?" You found yourself questioning the choice of words your mentor was using, but still trusted him in where he was going. The boys for their part blushed, though one sort of smirked and you figured you'd just found your culprit. You were ready to drag his skinny little body out of the locker room and beat him to a pulp.

 Finally, the kid with the shit ass eating grin answered. "Oh yeah, she's real good." His emphasis on the last part wasn't lost on either you or Mario.

 "Connor isn't it?" Mario asked the young pup and he nodded his head furiously. "Ms. (Y/L/N) is very beautiful, isn't she?" The kid actually had the gull to snicker, and you could feel your nails biting into your skin as you fisted them at your sides. "Anyone would be lucky to be with her, don't you think?" Ok, this may be going a little too far. If Mario started saying stuff about sleeping with her, you were going to lose you god blessed mind.

 "Well, yeah," the boy, Connor agreed, while the others kept silent, still ashamed to be caught gossiping about (Y/N). A muscle in your jaw ticked, itching to take young Connor out and beat some sense into him about how women should be treated.

 "I know her boyfriend feels the same way," Mario stated matter of factly. Eyes went wide as Mario insinuated that (Y/N) dated someone, yet still Connor seemed unmoved. "In fact," Mario continued. "He gets super jealous. Has been known to even drop the gloves from time to time. You can imagine how he'd feel if he knew what you insinuated about her." The boys exchanged glances with each other trying to figure out what player (Y/N) was dating. Realization finally dawned on the one, Bjorkqvist, and you made a mental note to remember that at least of them had some smarts. It would help him out on the ice in the future. The kid took a step back as he glanced first at your face and then at your fists; another smart move. "So you see boys, we're family here and family doesn't take kindly when someone messes with us and those we love." Mario gave them a few minutes to let the gravity of his words sink in. You looked back at Connor, even though every time you did, you wanted to punch him in the face. He finally started to become uncomfortable; good. "I'm only going to ask this question, one time, though I'm pretty sure I know the answer. Which one of you called Ms. (Y/L/N) the team whore?"  You flinched when Mario said the word 'whore,' as thoughts of that bastard Christian came floating back to you. That night at least you had the satisfaction of slamming the man up against the wall. Today you could tell Mario wanted you to take the high road; you weren't sure if you could honor his request or not.

 Seconds ticked by as you waited for the guys to give up Connor, for you knew the boy wasn't going to admit to it himself. Bjorkqvist, the same one that figured out you were (Y/N)'s significant other finally broke the odd silence. "I told him he shouldn't speak about her like that."

 "Finally, I see one of you has some sense." Mario addressed the young winger. "Now if you could be a little more specific on who it was exactly, and let me reassure you that by you telling me who it was will not affect your status with the organization, but not saying anything might."

 There was a chorus of 'it was him' or 'he did,' along with fingers all directed at Connor. You took a step forward only to be stopped short, as (Y/N) walked into the room.

 "Sorry about that. Sid…what are you…is everything ok?" You tried to relax but it was obvious that something had transpired while she was gone. Her head flipped back between you and the group of young prospects.

 "Everything's fine," Mario finally spoke up. "I was just going to show these guys how we have the state-of-the-art equipment here. Right gentlemen?" They all nodded, even Connor. "So why don't you follow me and we'll leave these two lovebirds alone for a minute." A couple of the guys did a double-take as they finally realized that you were in fact (Y/N)'s boyfriend while Connor suddenly turned pale. "We'll be back in a bit."

 As soon as they headed off to the equipment room, (Y/N) was standing in front of you, and you reached out to pull her close, needing to feel her close to you. She pulled back though remained in your embrace. "What just happened here?" You didn't answer, just dipped your head down to capture her lips. Your lips were hard on hers, demanding that she give herself over as you tried to release some of the tension, you'd been holding back for the last several minutes. She yielded but not for long, pushing back from you when you chased her lips. "Sid, talk to me."

 You contemplated telling her everything but didn't want to go there. She didn't need to be subjected to the asshole's words and you shook your head deciding not to talk about it. Her hands that were resting on your shoulders started to knead the muscles there. "I can feel the tension in your body. Will you please talk to me?"

 "It's nothing babe. Just caught one of your young recruits disrespecting the organization." It wasn't a total lie, but it wasn't the truth either.

 "Let me guess, it was Connor?" Again, you nodded not wanting to speak the words and so you closed your eyes. "There was something I found off about him. Hey, look at me?" She cupped your cheeks, turning your face so that you were nose to nose. "Don't let him get to you. I'm sure Mario's handling it." You definitely needed to make sure that Mario was or else you were going to have to yourself.

 "Yeah, I know you're right."

 "Well, I have to finish up here with these guys once Mario's done. How about I meet you at that restaurant we love, in about an hour and we can have dinner?"

 There was no way in hell you were leaving her alone with these guys. "I was thinking I'll just stay here while you finish up and then we can go together."

 "But I have my car here. I can just meet you at your place and we can go to the restaurant from there. No use staying here if you don't have to."

 "I don't mind staying," and before she could protest again, you added. "I want to, and we'll figure out the car thing later."

 She gave you a funny look but said. "Ok," before pecking you on the lips and pulling away. "I'm gonna go see how things are going with Mario."

 "I'm sure he's got them." You didn't need her walking in on Mario giving them a verbal thrashing that's for sure. "They'll probably be back any moment. So, what did you want to do besides go to dinner tonight?"

 "I figured we'd kind of do what we always do? Stay at your place, watch a little tv and well…you know."

 "Mmm, I like the last part." You grabbed at her waist and though she tried to avoid you; you were quicker, pulling her back close to you. "Though I still owe you a proper date."

 "We go out for dinner all the time."

 "Not that often, but I'd like to show you off a little more." You leaned down and nibbled a bit on her neck, but you heard someone clear their throats and the two of you broke apart. It was Dana and he was bringing the guys back, all but Connor.

 "Sorry to interrupt, but Mario thought you could finish the tour."

 (Y/N) adjusted herself before speaking. "Of course, um…where's Connor?"

 "He had to leave," Dana said and you didn't miss the subtle nod he gave you.

 "Oh well, that's too bad. We still have a little bit of time left before your families arrive. Let's check the rest of the building out. Sid, are you joining us?"

 "Absolutely." You trailed along, after her and the recruits making some comments here and there but also wondering where the little bastard was that had called her such horrible things. It wasn't until the end of the tour that you snuck off to Mario's office while (Y/N) handed the prospects back to their guardians. You closed the door behind you as soon as you went inside. "Where is he?"

 "He's gone and before you say anything; he was told we won't be giving him an offer. So, he won't be back." It was a start but you still wanted to hit him, get some satisfaction from feeling your fist connect with his face.

 Still, you found yourself saying, "Good."

 "I'm assuming you didn't say anything to her?"

 "No, I didn't. I felt it best if she didn't know." He thought about it for a second and then nodded.

 "Good, good. Family takes care of each other, now let's put the whole thing behind us."

 "I'm not sure that's possible."

 "It is. Go home Sid, enjoy your girlfriend. Take her to the lake and don't give this incident a second thought." It would be hard, but you thought you could do it.

 "Thanks, Mario."

 "Don't mention it. Have a great summer. I'm sure we'll keep in touch."

 "Yeah, we will and you too." You headed out of his office and went to find (Y/N). Who happened to be in hers at the moment. "Hey babe, you all done."

 "Almost, just finishing some of this paperwork on the house." You walked up behind her, gathering her hair and pulling it to her left side so that you could trail kisses down the right. "That's very distracting but very welcomed."

 "I missed having you around all day."

 She tilted her head to the side and dropped her pen as you hit that sweet spot she so loved. "I was barely gone a couple hours before you dropped in." Her jacket was draped on the back of the chair and you slid the straps of her bra and silk tank down her shoulder exposing more of her skin. "We should take this home."

 "I locked the door, no one will know." You whispered moving her hair over to the other side, so you slide the cami off there as well. Her breath hitched and you knew that you had her intrigued then. "Especially if you're quiet." You spun her chair around and then kissed her lips. She melted into you and you could feel the tension of the day leave your body.

 "We've tried quiet before." She exhaled out once you broke apart for air. "It didn't work so good for either of us."

 You lifted her to her feet, shoving the chair out of the way. "Then maybe we'll settle for fast as well." Straps now completely off, her breasts were exposed to you and you kneaded them in your hands, rolling her nipples and causing her to moan. "Shh," You shushed her before gathering her pencil skirt and hiking it up to her hips. Sliding your hand between her thighs, you could feel her damp panties. "Guess you're not as opposed to this idea as you said." Your fingers danced between her folds, while the other hand pushed her panties down to her knees.

 (Y/N) tore at the placket of your shorts, making quick work of the button and zipper before grasping your cock in her hand. She pumped you a few times before you hit her g-spot with your index finger and her rhythm faltered. "Fuck Sid, stop teasing me." She breathed out, and you slid your fingers out of her, grabbing at your shorts to rifle through the pockets to find that little foil packet you stashed away. You turned her, bending her forward to lean on the desk before rolling the latex over your member. Her legs spread a little further apart, as you lined your cock up with her entrance. Gathering her hair, you bent low to drop kissed on her neck and back as you slid inside her. She clamped a hand over her mouth to suppress a moan, while you had to bite your lip at being sheathed inside her. Your hand skimmed down her side, lightly caressing her breast before you took hold of her hips and start to pump in and out of her.

 A moan left her mouth and she fell to her elbows on the desk, pushing papers and pens out of the way. "You feel so fucking good," you harshly whispered as you picked up the pace. You knew your grip on hers had to be biting her flesh, yet she only breathed out that she wanted more. One hand released her, making it's way to her clit so that you could toy with it. She whimpered in an effort to not moan out loud and the sound almost threw you over the edge. Your finger worked furiously on her little nub and you could feel her pussy start to twitch. "Yes, baby…Let go…Cum for me." She did, stifling a cry that would've filled the room. As her pussy spasmed around you, you joined her, with a few short thrusts. She collapsed on top of the desk, as you fell forward on top of her, peppering her with kisses. "Damn (Y/N), that was amazing." It wasn't lost on you as you tried to catch your breath, that you literally just had sex in (Y/N)'s office after defending her honor, but this was different; it was special because you loved her. You loved (Y/N), with every fiber of your being you loved her. Now you just had to find the courage to tell her.

[tmblrgeorge]

GRRRRRRR BARKBARKBARK I AM GOIGN FERAL I AM GOIGN BONKERS FUCKING YONKERS I AM OFF! THE! WALLS!!! I BIT A CHUNK OUT OF MY DRYWALL!!! I ATE SEVERAL DEAD BEETLES!!!!!!! I AM IMMORTAL I AM THE VIRGIN MARY AND I HAVE CRAB CLAWS FOR HANDS!!!!!!!!!! PISSING ON YOUR LAWN AS WE SPEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT TEST ME I AM WRATH INCARNATE I AM PUCK FROM A MIDSUMMER'S NIGHTS DREAM AND I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR SNEAKERS.

maybe if you have some mcdonalds you'll calm down

[ccinagalaxyfaraway]

Mayhaps... a senator au if you feel up to it? where plo koon is the senator for dorin, and the wolfpack is assigned as a guard for him for a negotiation mission or something of the like, whatever you want :)

“It would be most shameful if something were to happen to you during these negotiations, Senator,” says the Chancellor. “Especially since you’re overseeing them on our behalf. I won’t think of it. You must accept protection.”

Plo resists the urge to roll his eyes. He’s at home; his face is uncovered. But oh, he would love to. “Chancellor, I am fully capable of looking after my own safety. My staff -”

“Are unfamiliar with the territory. These are dangerous times, Senator Koon.”

“I am aware,” Plo says. If he had teeth, they would be grinding. May you trod on plastic children’s toys, he thinks sourly.

“It’s settled, then. I know just the men for the job. The 104th Wolfpack Battalion will join you for the duration.”

“The what -? An entire battalion is excessive! Absolutely not.” He is a very private person by nature; the thought of having so many people around devoted to knowing where he is and what he is doing at all times is intolerable. Not to mention the stares and whispers that tend to follow his people wherever they go; it’s not a secret that most of the galaxy considers them unattractive at best. 

But the Chancellor has already signed off, his hologram winking out of existence. Plo starts a cycle of deep breathing. His sister the Sage swears it’s helpful. He thinks it’s banthashit.

 ---

Commander Wolffe, after whom the battalion is presumably named, is a stern approaching-middle-age man with a scar over the right side of his face. The cybernetic eye tracks Plo briefly before syncing with the Commander’s natural eye again; Plo pretends not to notice. 

“Senator Koon,” says the Commander, saluting and staring over Plo’s shoulder instead of at his masked face. “We’re to be your protection detail while you mediate discussions.” 

“Please call me Plo,” he says, offering a bow. “It will be a long week if we stand on formality the entire time. May I ask who else I have the honor of meeting?” 

The Commander introduces his personal squad - now Plo’s constant companions - and Plo bows to each of them in turn. “I do apologize to be the cause of this diversion. Please do tell me if there’s anything I can do to make this assignment easier on you; I am accustomed to coming and going as I please, but I understand changes will have to be made. We can discuss the details in the office.”

He leads the way through the hallways. “You’ll have full access to the ship, barring personal quarters, and an emergency override to my quarters should the need arise. My staff have been instructed to provide you with anything you require; there should be ship layouts and a preliminary intelligence report on our destination and relevant factions waiting for you. You are, of course, welcome to use the ship systems. Accounts can be set up with no difficulty.” 

“That is . . . very generous, sir,” says the Commander. “Thank you.” 

Plo shrugs. “Everyone starts somewhere. Let us say I am reasonably well acquainted with being on the other side of this arrangement, and how obstructive a client may be.” 

“You’re a soldier,” says the Commander with some surprise as they pause in front of Plo’s office while he keys in a code. Two of the men - Comet and Boost - take up positions at either side of the doorway. 

“Something like that, once upon a time,” says Plo. He stands aside so Sinker can clear the space and pick his spot on the inside of the door before entering, Commander Wolffe trailing behind him. “Please, have a seat. Now, how may I help you with your arrangements?”

---

The clone troopers are less of an imposition than Plo had expected them to be; they’re generally willing to allow Plo to have his freedom, even if they accompany him everywhere but the fresher and to bed. By the time they arrive at neutral ground, the shifts have been worked out and aside from Commander Wolffe’s presence as his shadow, things are almost normal. And even that isn’t altogether unenjoyable; the Commander has a dry wit and a general lack of tolerance for nonsense that aligns well with Plo’s own sense of humor. It’s like having someone to give voice to all the things he wishes he could say himself but can’t due to his position.

It doesn’t hurt that the Commander has had zero discernible thoughts whatsoever about his appearance. The few times they’ve made skin-to-skin contact, the Commander has been carefully, deliberately blank; clearly he’s done his research. It makes for a more cordial relationship, not being bombarded with opinions on things he can do nothing about. Every morning, he waits for Plo at the door to his quarters and escorts him to breakfast before proceeding to the conference hall. A half day of discussions later, they go to lunch, which Plo picks his way through around his mask while the Commander watches, and then back to negotiating. Afterwards, he brings Plo back to his quarters with a reminder to call if he wants to go anywhere, declines to join Plo for any kind of refreshment, and disappears to wherever he goes when Plo isn’t in public. 

Plo wonders if he ever eats. He has to; he’s not a droid. But unless he’s downing 4500 calories in one sitting after shift, he needs food during the day and he isn’t getting it. The rest of the men switch out at least; Wolffe is never out of reach. The most he’s ever managed to get the man to accept is a mug of unadulterated caf. It can’t be healthy. Not, of course, that it’s any of Plo’s business. 

Still.

The end of the week comes sooner than Plo expects with everything running so smoothly; so of course, the Separatists choose to attack on the last day. The explosion throws the room into chaos, smoke and fire spreading from the blast. Wolffe pulls him into his chest, curling around him even as he draws his pistols, snapping orders at his men. Plo makes himself as small as possible, trying to keep out of the way. 

After the first brief exchange with the droids, Wolffe shuffles them both towards Comet, who’s already radioed out for help in case the smoke wasn’t enough to tip someone off. “We were this close,” he complains, throwing a charge pack at Boost. 

“I know,” Plo mumbles. “I’d so wanted to tell the Chancellor I-told-you-so.”

“That eager to be rid of us?” Wolffe asks, eyebrow raised.

“Not you in particular, Commander,” Plo says, though Wolffe’s grin says he’s only teasing. “Just perhaps the rest of your battalion. Which I maintain is overkill for one unimportant expansion region senator.”

“Bet you’re glad we’re around now, though,” says Comet, whose informality endeared him to Plo on day one.

“I can’t dispute that,” Plo says. He ducks as more blaster fire strikes their cover. 

“We only have to make it -”

“ETA ten minutes,” Comet supplies.

“-until extraction,” says Wolffe. “Keep your head down and things will be fine.”

Plo nods and throws his arms around his head, wishing he’d brought a sound dampener. 

“Be ready to move,” Wolffe orders. Boost lays down cover fire for them as they run for the door, Comet ahead and Sinker behind, and Wolffe at his side. They’ve almost made it out when a second blast throws them into a wall. Plo gasps weakly, rolling onto his side, the world spinning. Wolffe has already climbed to his feet and is fighting a droid, his movements wild and uncontrolled; blood trickles from the side of his head. He misses a blow, staggers, and the droid catches him by the neck, lifting him into the air. Wolffe chokes, scrabbling at the droid’s arm for leverage, kicking to no avail, dying. 

That cannot be allowed to happen. Plo grasps around for a weapon. Anything. All there is is drywall and rubble. He focuses on a shard of stone. Reaches. The shard remains just out of reach. It can’t be. It won’t be. He clenches his jaw. 

The shard launches into the air, rocketing past Wolffe and into the droid’s head. Wolffe drops to the ground and kicks it away as it begins sparking. He staggers over to Plo and drops to his knees beside him. 

“What,” he gasps,” was that?”

“Learned it from my sister,” says Plo, right before he passes out.

---

By the time Plo recovers from his Force-exhaustion, cleanup is well underway and they are halfway back to Coruscant. When he steps out of his quarters, Wolffe is one of the men standing guard at the door. Wolffe salutes, and Plo dips his head. They walk to the mess in companionable silence Plo makes a cup of tea and a mug of caf and collects an assortment of fruit and pastry. 

“Would you join me?” he asks, taking a seat in the booth. Wolffe studies him, a new curiosity in his eyes, and then acquiesces. He sits stiffly, picture perfect for an army etiquette guide. 

“It’s been an eventful end to the week,” Plo says. “I’d wanted to thank you for your protection.”

“Just doing our job, Senator,” says Wolffe. He doesn’t sound, strictly speaking, as though that was the only thing he had been doing.

“Nevertheless, a job well done deserves recognition,” says Plo. He nudges the plate closer to Wolffe. “Please don’t feel like you have to stand on formality with me. You’ve seen how I am with my staff.”

Wolffe hesitates a moment and then caves, selecting a cluster of berries. Plo smiles. “I hope this diversion hasn’t cut into your original plans, Commander.”

“No. Just shifted back a week. If I may, sir, I had a question.” He studies Plo. “At the hall. You used the Force?”

“I did.”

“But you’re not a Jedi.”

“I am not.” He chuckles. “My family is frequently gifted with these abilities. Mine are not so prominent that my parents felt they could not handle me, and I was rather fascinated with systems as a child. When the Master Jedi asked if I wished to be trained, I declined in favor of continuing my studies at home. And so, here we are.” He spreads his hands.

“Here we are,” Wolffe echoes. “I should be thanking you for saving my life.”

“I could hardly do otherwise when I had the ability to help. And if I’m entirely honest, I’ve become rather fond of you in the last week,” Plo says. Wolffe’s eyes linger on him. He decides to take the chance. “Please feel free to refuse, but might I ask for the honor of your company at dinner?”

Wolffe’s lips twitch. “I am afraid I must decline, Senator,” he says. Plo lets out a self-depreciating puff. “However - I’m off-duty once I’ve reported in on Coruscant, and I have no plans other than to kill time with paperwork in an office. You might have better luck then.”

“I see,” says Plo. “Please do eat, Commander. I’m not at all collecting information on your preferences.”

Wolffe smiles and pops a berry into his mouth.