#I am fortunate shy never paid attention to me.

[xx-hail2theking-xx]

I suspect he might disagree, but I'll leave that to him to determine.

And being free of the two greatest threats that I believe either you and King Paimak have had to face will absolutely be deserving of celebration.

Yes.

Yes, it will certainly be.

-Duke Valefar.

[andreas-river]

Hello, I hope I am not bothering you. I'm a bit shy, so I will make this anon request. My english is a bit off, so, sorry in advance.

But can you do one about Ghost comforting, or trying to comfort, a female reader who is severely heartbroken? Something like, she had to leave to serve in military and recently discovered that the person she loved got married? She even had bought the ring to propose to the person.

Thank you <3

(I know, it's sad, I am a bit heartbroken and need to cry a little)

Simon "Ghost" Riley X Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, reader is heartbroken.

A/N: I have to admit: i wasn't confident about this one, but I really tried my best. I know how does it feel to be heartbroken, but it will eventually go away. Hope you will like it Anon!

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You never expected to feel something like that, it was like a crushing weight from the inside, exactly where your heart was. Some tears were beyond your control, you wanted to cry so much, but the pain prevented everything else.

You turned over the ring you had bought, which you had taken instinctively when you thought he returned your feelings - and instead he had been lying all this time, and in less than two months he would be married to another woman. He had even sent you the invitation to the wedding, showing how many times he had filled you with lies, false smiles, and promises he never kept.

Your legs dangled over the void, sitting on the edge of the roof of the base, on the side facing one of the courtyards. No one was out at this hour, it was dinner time, and you knew that fortunately no one would see you in this state.

Your sweatshirt was too light to protect you from the chill of the cold air, but you hadn't even paid attention to what you had caught when you had rushed out of your room, desperately needing some air to clear your head.

"Aren't you hungry?"

You almost jumped in fear, your fingers instinctively clenching the concrete you were sitting on, Ghost at your side, wearing only jeans and a jacket, and it was strange to see him without his protective gear or rifle.

"I can't eat tonight," you sighed as one hand clenched the ring.

"You have your period?" Your jaw almost dropped to the floor, shocked at the ease with which he had asked you. "Huh, I guess not."

So, without much preamble, you opened your hand and showed him the ring, noticing his surprised eyes through the mask.

"I thought I would make the first move, and I was hoping he would reciprocate," you began, immediately feeling tears forming in your eyes. "I thought it was him - the right man." you said sniffing, now crying in front of your lieutenant.

You didn't care if you looked childish or whiny: you just felt the need to release your feelings.

"He even sent me an invitation to his wedding..." and as the sobs shook your body, you didn't even notice that Ghost had sat down next to you, his arm now completely around your shoulders, letting you lean against him.

"It hurts... it's like a blade piercing you through and through... a bullet would hurt less."

You heard him sigh, then begin to speak.

"I can't tell you that it will not hurt. That when you go to sleep at night, your thoughts will go to him, and in the morning he will always be your first thought." he looked at you, his eyes fixed on yours, still filled with tears.

The sobbing had slowed down, but the tears continued to fall.

As if they would never stop.

"Everyone would tell you that, but... let the time pass. Live, day by day, even if your mind goes back to him. But it will be all right. Time will help you, more than you think."

You look at him questioningly, surprised at the way he speaks. "Are you a therapist?"

You hear him mumble something inaudible, then suddenly get up from the edge of the wall and leave your side, heading for the door.

You get up and follow him, determined to thank him, but he beats you to it.

"Let's get something to eat, we're both hungry now."

And so you found yourself in his company that night, talking to him more or less on various topics, but he was right: your mind often went back to him, but nevertheless you had decided to believe him: time would heal your wounds, even the deepest ones.

[anadiasmount]

hugs and fireworks - christian pulisic x reader

hello everyone! i hope you are all okay and doing well! happy fourth to those who celebrate! in honor of it being the fourth I couldn't stop thinking of dad! christian. so here's a small blurb of how i'd think your holiday would be spent with him! i enjoyed writing this, so I hope you enjoy 🥰🥰

here's my masterlist!

wc: 1.6k

“Do you remember when we met back in Austin?” Christian asked softly. You hummed and felt him cuddle closer to you. His head was on your chest while you stroked his bareback. “How could I forget? I saw you on the pitch and immediately fell over heels for you.” 19-year-old you would be gushing over excitement.

While growing up, you and your family didn't go out at all for the 4th of July. Sure you had a small backyard cookout and some fireworks but that was it. A USA shirt, or a red white, and blue to keep the “tradition”. You vividly remember the summer when you traveled down with your girlfriends to Texas for the 4th of July. A random trip that ended up changing your life in the most unexpected way. A flight booked from home, to your girlfriends and you pitching in to take a road trip from the tip of Texas to the south where you explored different beaches.

During your last night in Austin, you attended a USA soccer match, being fortunate to receive front-row seats. A certain brunette caught your eye, but the feeling of being embarrassed and rejected made you overthink plus, this guy was a pro, right? A sleeve of tattoos, sweat running down their body, the white jersey clinging onto their fit body for dear life. You were in a daze, mesmerized, noticing the #10 and PULISIC in the back.Of course, nothing would ever happen, so you and your girlfriends decided to go to a bar nearby and celebrate before heading off south.

While coming back from the restroom, you accidentally stumbled against someone, “I am so sorry, I did not see you coming,” you touched their shoulder apologetically but when you looked up and met a pair of brown orbs you blushed profusely. “It's okay darling, I didn't see you coming either,” it was him.

“Im Y/n,” you extended your hand making the first move, he smirked and shook your palm, “Im Christian, a pleasure to meet to meet you.”

Who knew sharing a couple of beers, small talk of his life and yours included would have you holding onto hope? Christian paid attention, he didn't just nod or hum then and there, he made sure to make you feel safe and comfortable, never overstepping by asking unsuitable questions. You didn’t do this, you were always shy and rather would sit and watch people than make the effort and meet someone, but with him, it felt right.

Christian didn't hide anything, explaining how he grew up in Hershey, his move to Europe, his parents being his biggest support to this day, attending state fairs meant the world to him, and that sometimes you have to take a risk if you want great things to happen. His words, not yours. You had not realized you sat in the bar ignoring the blaring music, loud cheers, and drunk people behind you, till the bartender gave you a ten-minute warning before closing.

“If I'm being honest… I don’t want to go back to my hotel right now… Would you care to join me for some late-night tacos? I know just the place here,” Christian spoke shyly, rubbing the back of his neck afraid you’d say no. “Who can turn down some tacos? Just hope you won’t disappoint me, Chris…” you said without thinking. Christian loved when you called him Chris, it just sounded like heaven to him. True to his word, you had enjoyed eating the delicious tacos in the taqueria. Later taking a walk to observe the Austin skyline, where your fings delicately brushed his. You shared your first official kiss there, his hands holding you by your waist, as you rested on his broad chest.

“We were just kids then… Now look at us now,” he replied looking up to you where you placed the softest gentle kiss on his forehead. “We’ve come a long way to be here today. All the sacrifices and distance but we made it work. And I can’t be more grateful to have the most gorgeous stunning wife and mother to my kids…” he kissed over your wedding ring and the small bump. You had surprised him after putting your almost two-year-old to sleep. Christian was overjoyed and crying happy tears, immediately sinking to his knees and promising the baby he’d do everything in his will to protect them and you. His little family.

“I'm so fortunate to have a man like you, Chris. We fell in love at such an early age and I would’ve thought you’d get rid of me, but you've never stopped loving me. You're the best dad to Axel, to me, and to those around you. There’s not a day that goes by where I sit down and think of the what if’s, but you're always there to get rid of the overthinking. I feel safe and at home with you,” you let out the smallest tear and Christian giggled.

“Oh stop it! It’s the pregnancy hormones,” you gushed as he continued his teasing. A sound from the baby monitor had Christian up on his feet going to pick up Axel from his room. When your boys came back, Axel was rubbing his eyes with his chubby hands while Christian brushed back the small coils of curls. He was the spitting image of him, anything Christian did, Axel was doing so already. Despite following his dad, at the end of the day, he was a momma's boy.

“How about we spend the 4th by the beach, take some food, small fireworks, and just spend time watching the fireworks at the end of the night?” Christian asked to which you clapped your hands excitedly. “Your family is still coming right?” you asked while prepping some hamburgers for Christian to grill. He came back inside holding Axel by his hip, “Yes they should be here soon!”

The doorbell rang and you greeted his family with a small hug, urging them to come inside while you continued to finish cutting the lettuce, tomatoes, and onions. Christian, his dad, brother, and brother-in-law spent their time outside grilling while you, his mom, and sister, and now Axel stayed inside until it was time to leave. His sister explained how excited she was to begin riding after her pregnancy, and his mom talked about the upcoming vacation you all took.

After setting the table you all ate and shared stories over the years, Christian sitting next to you holding your hand or from time to time grabbing your thigh, feeling his nails rake up and down against your skin. Once the sun started to die down, you all took the shortcut walking down to the shore, “Careful baby,” Christian spoke to where only you and he could hear. Christian always was cautious but now that you were pregnant again, he had to make sure you weren’t overworking yourself.

You sat on the sand, feeling the cool breeze and sand beneath you. You watched and heard your son Axel let out waves of giggles when the waves crashed against his little chubby feet. Christian spun him around from time to time and held him close. You took a small photo, relishing the moment before your family turned into four. Of course, Axel followed him when they began to play a small game of football there. They pulled out the small fireworks or sparklers, Christian was being protective again, holding his son and showing him how the sparkle was, it was generally safe so you weren't worried. Your son just clapped his small chubby hands and made happy noises that brought Christian to smile.

You helped his mom set up some chairs after the tide began to rise just a bit, and changed into a knitted sweater. “Look at you two,” you laughed when you saw Christian come up to you with your son. You gave Christian a towel and some change of clothes, while Axel cuddled against your chest. You covered him with a towel and a blanket protecting him from the cool air. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, especially after the day he had.

When Christian returned he sat next to you, but it wasn't long before he asked you to lay your back against his chest. He peppered small kisses along your bare shoulder due to your top, and kissed your temple, just giving you love and affection. That’s one thing he won't ever hide, his love and adoration for you.

Christian chatted with you quietly about tomorrow's plans which included a boat ride for the entire day, promising to watch Pride and Prejudice for the hundredth time with you after coming back home. His fingers drew small shapes on your bump, while you rested your head gently below his chin. “Boy or girl?” you asked knowing the answer right away. “Girl. I want to dress her up in small cute dresses and learn to do her hair. But I’d be equally as happy if we had another boy. Just hope we won't drive too crazy,” he joked.

You heard the chime of the fireworks as they began. You saw a small streak of light before it burst into a pit of different colors. Christian watched as your eyes glowed as you observed the different fireworks. He’d rather watch you because you were the only person to make his chest feel like it had fireworks lighting inside. “Kiss me,” he said abruptly. You blushed but did as he told, brushing your lips into a small but passionate and intense kiss. “Won’t ever get enough of these soft lips,” he said smiling across your lips. He rested back, humming when your hand reached up and played with the hair in the nap of his neck, “I love you, princess.”

“I love you, Christian.”

[script-nef]

Presents (and other things)

Category: fluff

2k words; Shopping date [3/6]

← Previous chapter | Masterlist

Out of everyone in the whole world, the person you love most in the world is Nanami Kento, your brother. He was the one who saved you from the cursed spirit that haunted you and took your parents’ lives. He was the one who took you in so that you wouldn’t be put in the system since you were still a minor. He made sure every day that you were safe and healthy even if he was injured or exhausted after a fight.

That's why in the weeks nearing his birthday, you made sure that he would have a relaxing time. He said you didn’t have to and he’d rather have you not fret over him, but that is unacceptable. He needs to have a good birthday. If you could, you would make the whole month just about him. But the last time you tried that he sat you down for a long, scolding lecture about how it’s unnecessary. So that’s out of the option.

Right now, just a few days shy of his actual birthday, you have a problem. Because you were buried in work and have a terrible memory.

His present.

You forgot to buy a present. 

“I forgot to buy a present! Why am I so dumb… Why am I like this, Gojou? It’s literally one of the most important things with birthdays and I forgot it. Because I’m an idiot. I wish the ground would swallow me up… I deserve it…” Thuds reverberate through the room as your head makes contact with the table. Repeatedly. Hard.

Wallowing in self-hate is great but your brain starts spitting out all viable present options. 

Shopping for Ken-chan is hard because he’s not materialistic in the least. He also doesn’t have a lot of hobbies. “I don’t need presents.” is a regular phrase every time his birthday or holidays come up, but then he gives presents to you and you end up feeling worse. This is all while your brain is getting thrown around. 

A hand comes between your forehead and the desk, gently bringing it up. Gojou has a small pout as his cold fingers try to soothe the burning sensation. 

“You still have a couple of days left! Don’t bang your head against the table, your brain doesn’t work enough as it is.” He easily moves out away from your slap. But returns in time to stop your head from falling again.

“I should have remembered this weeks ago. There’s no use trying to make me feel better, Gojou. I’m a terrible sister. I deserve this pain.” His fingers poke against your cheeks and he smooshes and stretches them. It’s uncomfortable but you let him.

“I haven’t bought a present either.”

“You’ve never given him a present.”

“This is the year to start! I have to get on his good side!” That’s weird since he never cared about what Ken-chan thought of him.

 “Why?”

“We can shop together!” Classic ignoring. His face comes to level with yours. “Let’s go to Shinjuku, I’m sure there are things even Nanami will like. Also, I found a new sweets shop.” You stare at him. “But I will focus on the present for today! C’mon, I can fly us there. You’ve never flown before, right? I think it’ll help.”

For some inexplicable reason, floating in mid-air with nothing to save you other than Gojou is amazing. Adrenaline pumps through your veins at the thought of crashing down to Earth if Gojou lets go. You know he won’t though. 

The air is chilly up here and there’s constant wind makes your hair whip everywhere, getting in your mouth and eyes. It doesn’t dampen your mood.

Your arms tighten around Gojou’s neck, watching the city blink with life way underneath your feet. Well, his feet, since you’re bunched up in his embrace. 

“This is so cool! Do you do this every day?”

“Yup.” He pops the p and slowly walks closer to your destination. The world looks like a child’s playhouse. 

“No wonder you’re constantly in an amazing mood! I would do this every time I’m feeling down!” Gojou’s chuckle reverberates through his chest and into your body. 

“I can take you out again when you’re sad.” A buzz takes over your body at the thought sparkles come to life in your wide eyes.

“You would do that for me?” Gojou is an incredibly important asset and therefore also very busy, needing to take care of special-grade curses that others can’t while also teaching and looking after his three students. He couldn’t be at your beck and call, you can’t ask that from him. But the gentle smile he gives is so warm and sure, assuring you that his words are true.

“Of course I would. Any day.” His grip around your body tightens.

Something weird fuzzes in your chest. It’s not uncomfortable or bad but… unique. And foreign. You got a good report back from your physical evaluation last month so it’s not something physical. Questions about what the cause could be takes over your mind but the sudden sensation of zero gravity makes all of them fly out the window. Burying your face into Gojou’s neck, you prepare for the worst.

“And we have arrived! M’lady.” Chipper as ever, Gojou’s feet touch the ground with a light plop and he lets you down gently. You look at him in confusion until realisation kicks in. And you kick him.

“Don’t do that! I think my heart stopped!” He cackles at that, finishing with a “Won’t do it next time.” If there is a next time. The probability is reduced significantly because of what he just did. 

Taking your hand in his, he escorts you down the stairs from the rooftop and into a department store. The people who couldn’t see mere moments ago high up in the sky.

As expected, it’s loud and crowded. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of people shuffling about and sweeping everyone to move even if they wanted to. It’s fortunate that Gojou has a firm grip on your hand because otherwise you’d be completely lost. Still, it’s nice to be buried in the commotion of everyday lives. It helps you forget about the whole war that’s looming over everyone.

“Any ideas on what to get?” The question you’ve been asking yourself for the past hour or so is echoed by Gojou. “We have all the time in the world, so don’t worry. I’ll keep you company for as long as you want.” 

Blisters form on the back of your feet thanks to the amount of times you walked around the huge place. Gojou bought you bandaids even though you said Shouko can fix you up. It hurts a lot less thanks to that. Finding a present is still a challenge. Every time you think you have one, your brain comes up with a rebuttal for why Ken-chan won’t like it. Two hours and nothing to show for it, you’re on the verge of collapse. Even a quick snack break didn’t help.

Gojou sets you down on a bench, letting your head roll on the backrest. The sight of thousands of coats and jackets running around upside down makes you giggle. Maybe the stress is finally getting to your head. The mantra of “I’m a terrible sister” tries to sneak in and wreak havoc. You’re just about to let it when the upside-down brand of a designer clothing shop catches your attention. 

“Gojou.”

“Yup?” His head comes into view as he copies your posture. It must look really weird to passersby but you don’t care at all. “Got an idea?” You point to the brand. Or at least you think you do. The lack of blood in your brain is making everything dizzy. “Clothes?”

“I wanna buy him a good suit.” Standing up, swaying a little from the sudden oxygen influx, you try to drag him towards the shop. He tries to make your attempt harder by using his weight and height, but a firm glare makes him concede.

“I thought he said he doesn’t want suits.” Oh yeah, you told him that when it was rejected. Ken-chan did say that, years ago, when you bought him one for your first present. While incredibly appreciated, he reasoned that there is a high chance of it being ruined since he has to fight in them. And this was around the time when you started getting paid. It was his way of saying that you should invest it in something more durable and preferably for yourself. How does Gojou remember this when it was just a fleeting complaint that you barely remember?

“He said it’s because there’s no point in spending so much money on something that might be damaged so quickly. But I’m going to buy it for a different reason.”

Collections of suits, varied by colour and pattern, line the huge shop. Skimming over a lot of them, especially ones with questionable designs, you turn to the monochromatic area. Simple is best when it comes to Ken-chan’s taste. Shuffling through the shades, you contemplate between either beige or blue.

“What’s the reason?” Gojou’s voice calls from the change room. You wonder when he got there. 

“For him to wear it if he goes back to work in an office after the war has ended. Or just when he goes out, without the worry of getting attacked and ruined. It’ll be like a promise! That he’ll do his best to survive the war to wear it.” 

Gojou is silent in response. It drags out and now you’re sort of embarrassed about what you said. Your partner loves taking advantage of others’ sappy moments, teasing them mercilessly over it. That little speech is basically perfect ammunition against you. You expect his high voice to make fun of you.

What you don’t expect is for him to pat your head, slowly and softly, like he won’t ever get to do it again.

“Nanami must have used all his luck when he became your guardian.” Voice low, bringing shivers down your body, he cards his fingers through your hair. Like he’s combing them. Seconds tick by and it feels sort of nice, telling you to relax, but your body’s on high alert for some reason.

“I think he’d like the blue one. Since he already has a brown suit, beige is too close.” A black suit adorns his body when he comes into view. Even the shirt is black. It fits him perfectly and he looks really good in it, courtesy of a good body proportion. He could possibly pull off the hideous suits you elected to shy away from at the front of the display. You clear your throat.

“Wow, you look really good in that.” His hands smooth down the creases on the jacket, preening at your compliment. “You should buy that. Wear it to dates or whatever. Ladies will fall to your feet if you show up with that.” Holding up two blue suits, your eyes scrutinize them and you try to imagine which shade will look better on your brother.

“Ladies will fall to my feet? Really?” Amusement tinges his words. The left one looks better.

“Yeah, probably. Girls love guys in suits. Well at least, I do. If they wear the right one for them, it’s really hot. Left one is better, right?” He gives a nod, a wide grin playing on his face. “Alright, this one then. Are you buying the suit?”

“Yeah. I think it’ll be put to good use.”

The checkout is quick, and it’s night when you step out. 

“You wanna go back by flying? We can try doing the Howl thing.” That’s really tempting, being able to reenact one of the most iconic scenes in the movie. But not today. 

“No, I prefer being in your arms.” Gojou stares at you with such intensity that you can feel it even with the blindfold. Then he immediately barks out a laugh, one so loud that people nearby flinch at the sudden noise. You flinch at the sudden noise.

“Ah… You really keep me on my toes, you know.” Before you can ask what that means, he takes your hand again and starts walking to the stairs. His steps are faster than usual.

Next chapter →

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Money Troubles

Kuroo x reader, Bokuto x reader

Words: 1,8k 

Warnings: none

Summary: Reader has money troubles and the boys are so sweet about it 

A/n: Y’all this hits so close to home like I grew up really poor for a long time and if that is where you are right now, please know that things do get better and it is all going to be okay :) 

Kuroo

You and Kuroo had been friends forever and just recently made the jump from best friends to lovers and it honestly didn’t change much, except how often the two of you went out. Kuroo was always taking you out places and spoiling you rotten but you knew that you couldn’t do the same. There was no way that you could afford half of the things that he can but you have no idea how to tell him that. Every time he spends money on you you feel super guilty and bad because you can’t spend the same amount back on him and you had got him a nice gift for Christmas but that is just because you saved every last dollar to spoil him as best you could. He was your best friend and you didn't want him to have to worry about any of this but you also didn’t want him to think that you were cheap or taking advantage of him.

   The issue dwelled in your mind for weeks, you were unsure of what to say or do because you both had never gone out this often before. Tonight was your turn to choose what your date would be and you had made the easy decision, the only decision.

“So what will it be, princess?” Kuroo smirked at you from across the kitchen as he made himself a glass of water.

“Can we stay in and watch the show, Bridgerton, I’ve heard the most amazing things about it,” you smile at him trying to be convincing.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go out?” He questions as he refills his glass. It was almost a week before your next payday and you had $6 left so you really couldn’t afford to go out.

“I think staying home sounds like fun,” you lie, it’s been a stressful week and you knew he could see right through you so you avoided his curious gaze.

“Y/n, love, what is it?” He questions, unsure of your reasoning, “it was your pick and if that’s what you want to do we can go to the store and get snacks and make it a hell of a date night” he reasons with himself.

“No Kuroo that’s really okay,” you barely whisper.

“Hey, what is it?” He now is right by your side giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes.

“It’s nothing Tetsuro,” you shy away.

“If it was nothing you’d be looking at me and told me that you wanted to go try that new Indian restaurant down the street, please y/n,” he says in a calm, loving way.

“You’re right, I would like to try it, but I can’t afford it Kuroo.”

“Why would you think that you’re paying?” He asks, smiling at you.

“Because you always pay, and I always feel bad because I don’t ever pay, and it’s not fair,” you huff at him.

“Y/n Y/l/n I pay because I can pay and because I want to pay and because I know you would never treat yourself to a nice meal even if you did have the money, which by the way is not something you should be embarrassed of. I spent the first two years of our friendship absolutely broke at all times, I slept on Bo’s couch for god sake and you have to be really desperate to do that. Trust me when I tell you that it’s okay, it gets better and once it does then you can bet your ass that I’m still paying for our dates because I have been waiting years to date you and now that I am I am going to spoil the shit out of you, okay? Okay. So get your ass dress we’re getting indian, end of discussion.”

You had no idea what to say or do, he really just said to hell with it and left the room to get ready so you were stuck sitting there alone with your thoughts. ‘How the hell did he know?’ You panicked, worried that this was why he decided to ask you out and date you and that he was going to get sick of you and sick of paying and want to leave.

“I am ordering two meals with or without you so get your ass ready or I’m gonna eat them both” Kuroo mumbles as he brushes his teeth.

You get ready and go out to dinner with him and have an amazing time laughing and eating together. A couple weeks after Kuroo gives you a little wrapped box with your name on it. It was a key to his house with your initials engraved on it.

“Y’know if you ever want to come over, or even” he is blushing a deep red, “or even, I know it’s early, but I’ve known you forever and I can’t see us ever I don’t know, breaking up, so unless you do, I mean, it would be kinda cool if we lived together.”

You sat there in complete shock, did Kuroo just ask if you wanted to move in with him?! You gave him the biggest smile ever as you nodded at him completely speechless.

“But you have to bring your furniture, it’s wayyy nicer than mine and we had our first kiss on that couch so it has to come too.”

And little did you know not only did you move in now mean that you live with your best friend 24/7 but you also don’t grocery shop and your rent is way cheaper because he’s lived there forever. He never once judged or made you feel bad for not being able to pay for things and if he was ever strapped for cash as well you had the best stay in movie nights ever.

Bokuto

Bokuto was a smart guy, sometimes. He may have his dumb moments but he always knew how much he spent and kept a good and accurate budget so he got to live a pretty care free life (it also doesn’t help that he got a volleyball scholarship that paid for his college and you have $500 a month payments) , you on the other hand weren’t as fortunate. It seemed as though all of your money was gone before you even got your check, between food, rent, phone bill, loans, and everything else that came with being alive your little paychecks seemed to dwindle down to nothing. It was something you wanted to change, and luckily you only had a couple months left on your loans because you chose to aggressively pay them off but you wish you didn’t sometimes so you could have a little bit more to spend on life and on Bokuto, you’re adorably loving boyfriend.

It was a day like every other, the two of you out and about doing dumb things around town when you decided to go to Starbucks together. You were extra excited to get apeppermint mocha and Bo was practically vibrating with excitement-and that’s before you give him caffeine. You get up to the counter and order before inserting your card… ‘decline’ the screen reads. You have no idea what to do and your face blushes a bright red.

Without hesitation Bo steps in front of you, orders his drink and pays for your drinks before you can even process anything. He turns and smiles at you and gives you a little kiss and wraps his arms around your shoulders as you go to wait for your drink to be done.

“Bo, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-“

“Shhh look she’s adding the whip to your drink,” he bounces excitedly hoping that means his drink is next.

You get your drinks and go sit in those giant brown chairs that are the best and most comfortable spot in the entire place and you once again try and thank him for paying for your drink and explain but he stops you again.

“Y/n, lovey, it happens to all of us, okay? Don’t worry about it, seriously. I know you overthink things like this and I don’t want or need you to. We all do it sometimes and it is okay, hell I did it last week at the store, it happens, I’ve got you now and always, so don’t stress yourself out about it. You have a lot to pay for and a lot going on so I don’t want you worrying about the small things when there are lots of bigger things that need your attention, like me. I need your attention  and so having you focus on other things is bad for me and my ego, okay?” He smiles at you after one of the most uncharacteristic moments from him ever.

You just stare at him completely in shock that he just said all of those things to you.

“Ummm helllo earth to y/n,” he repeats two or three times as he waves his hand in front of your face.

“Sorry bo.”

“Can I pleaseee have a sip of your drink? I asked like four times but you were in outer space thinking about the stars or something, but that’s okay, you’re back on earth now, please can I have a sip, it looks so good,” he smiles at you, knowing that you were worrying about it and doing the perfect job of pulling you out of whatever trance you were in.

You let him have a sip of your drink and you get a sip of his (which was even more delicious than anything you’d ever had there). Bokuto continued the conversation and pretty much held up the whole thing and made you laugh the whole time.

The following couple of weeks you noticed that Bo was super helpful and sweet about everything financial and when you finally paid off your student loans he threw you the biggest “college is too expensive” party and celebrated life with you so much. Even after things got better for you he still was happy to pay for a lot of things and even admitted to you that he has been super duper broke too and it is just what happens in life, it happens to all of us and if he finds out that you have been worrying about it than he is going to come and cuddle you to death because he can’t stand the idea of you getting upset over nothing. (Even though he does it all the time, you are different because he wants you to always be happy)

[high-lady-lana]

The Fawn and Her Fox

Chapter Three: Dueling Violins 

          My sister still isn't home and the rest of the Inner Circle has stayed pretty much well away, minding their own business and taking care of their own tasks, me and Lucien the only ones without tasks to complete.

        Nuala and Ceriddwen help me dress for the opera. Styling my hair into a neat braided bun, two curls framing either side of my face. My dress is short, flowing around my knees, the shade a pretty shade of emerald green, small sparkles catching the moon making it twinkle. 

        A happiness I haven't felt in a long time bubbles inside my chest. When I was a girl I used to lover going to the play house. Watching opera, plays, and symphonies it was my favorite thing to do. One of the happiest times outside of my garden as a child was going to the play house and witnessing an opera.

        It was my first time and mama helped me dress in my finest. I felt like a princess, especially when papa had paid for box seats. The beautiful instruments ringing throughout the room, haunting every nook and cranny in the room, demanding to be heard, caressing the ears of those willing enough to listen, bringing tears to my eyes and making my heart ache with the unrequited love of the song. 

        After that the symphonies became my favorite thing. Every birthday, before my fathers downfall, my parents would take me to the opera and each year it rocked my world. Devastation filled me the first time we missed an symphony and every year after that I had to rely on my garden, my only source of light and happiness. 

        Now here I am, in Prythian, standing in a dress that would be considered scandalous by human standards going with a man who is my mate to an symphony with fae. A giggle of disbelief bubbles up and I take a deep breath and step out of my room... knocking right into Lucien. 

        My cheeks flame as I bounce back, tripping and he grabs my shoulders, helping me find steady footing. His hands are warm on my bare shoulders, the calluses on his hands scraping against my skin. The flush spreads over my chest and neck when I am able to take in his attire. Black tunic lined with... emerald green, the same shade as my dress. 

        "I'm sorry, I was going downstairs to wait for you." His breath slightly catches as he takes me in as well. 

        Abruptly, he lets me go and I have to take several breaths before I can even think again. His long hair looks smooth and silky. "You look beautiful, Elain." His voice is a quite rumble and my skin pebbles at the smooth cadence of his words. 

        My flush deepens and I twist my fingers into the soft material of my dress. "Thank you," I say, deciding not to voice the fact he looks immaculately handsome. I've embarrassed myself enough in the past five minutes without admitting his appearance has taken me aback.

        "Are you ready to go?" He asks.

        His words snap me out of my thoughts and I nod. 

        We leave the house, the sun setting in the distance. The trek to the play house is quiet and uneventful. Lucien and I stay quite, choosing a comfortable silence over awkward small talk. How do you speak to someone you're supposed to be with but you just can't accept it yet? I don't know how to be around him. He's never pressured me or pushed any boundaries, but he's just here, being a mate but not. 

        My head spins with feelings and expectations and worries. Once we get to the play house we are seated swiftly by a woman with green tinged skin and spiky ears, to my surprise we are guided to high seats, one level lower than the box and it's wonderful. 

        People are being seated, chattering quietly, a low hum filling the room. Lucien shifts in his seat, his large frame looking funny in such a small chair. His hair lays like silk along his chest and his muscular bicep brushes against me, our knees bumping. My heart slams against my ribcage and I study the side of his lovely face. 

        Slowly, his face turns towards mine and a smile creeps shyly onto his full lips. "How long has it been since you've been to a symphony?" He asks, attention solely focused on me. 

        I sweep the baby hairs from my forehead and shift in my seat, unable to stay still under his powerful gaze. "A very long time. I was only a girl. It was the birthday before my family lost their fortune when my mother passed." I shake my head, twisting my hands together. "A lot of things changed after that..." Guilt naws at my stomach at the knowledge that I let Feyre go out and feed us time and time again. I let that Spring Lord tamper with my mind, making me believe Feyre was okay. I wasn't strong for my family then and I am definitely not strong now. 

        "Elain?"

        Lucien's voice stops the tirade of spiraling thoughts consuming my mind. The lines around his eyes are creased with gentle worry. "Yes?" I ask, choosing to ignore my obvious silence.

        He smiles almost tentatively. "Where did you go?"

        I know he doesn't mean anything but mentally. My cheeks flame and the heat spreads down my neck and chest. "I was thinking of all my mistakes since my family's downfall. Feyre saved us... on more than one occassion and Nesta is strong in her own right and I am just... here."

        Lucien shakes his head. "On the contrary, Elain. You cannot compare yourself to your sisters. You are very strong in my book and I have lived quite a while."

        I peer at him beneath lowered lashes, butterflies tickling the inside of my chest. "How so?" I ask, skeptically. 

        "Well," he starts loftily, bringing a smile from my lips. "You live with what happened to you everyday. And i don't just mean about being tossed into Prythian. I mean living the way you did as a human. Not everyone is willing to accept the wrongs they have committed in the past, but you know you've done wrong. It's hard to self reflect and it makes you strong that you are able to look at yourself in a harsh light."

        His words strike a chord withing me. "You speak from experience?"

        He gives me a shy lopsided smile. "You don't live for hundreds of years without making mistakes, Elain. I have made some that have cost me dearly. Even when I thought I was doing the right thing." He shakes his head. "Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone regrets. It's how we move on and better ourselves that really matters."

        His words lift an unknown weight from my chest and I brush my knee against his as the lighting darkens in the theater. "Thank you."

        With one last soft smile, he turns his attention towards the stage and I follow suit. Fae of all kinds sit on stage holding violins, cellos, flutes, one sits at a piano. 

        First is starts off with a lone violin, the player moving with the music in a sea of other violins, then a higher one chimes in, mimicking the first, complementing each other beautifully. The notes flirt and skimper around each other, others join in but never overpowering the two original violins. They dance and soar higher, higher, higher, falling in love until they are torn apart. The battle plays out before my eyes, warring families, two unlikely people to fall fighting against Heaven and Earth to get to the one they love. The crescendo climbs higher and higher and higher, my heart beating rapidly, chills coating my skin down to my very bones.

        My butt at the edge of the seat almost too anticipated to stay seated. Finally, it all falls away except the two violins who move together, bringing to the last of the story, striking the final long note and silence. 

        My breathing comes out in silent pants and my body relaxes with the silence. When I look over at Lucien as everyone stands, I find him look straight at me. He had to have been watching me for a while for his lips are parted in awe and just like the last last note something between us slides together and then silence.

[yespolkadotkitty]

Long Way to Go - Chapter 1

Ryan Brenner x OFC, Grace Lin

THANKYOU so much to @the-blind-assassin-12 for casting an eye over this and for friendship and enthusiasm and thankyou to @suchatinyinfinity and @something-tofightfor for being so friendly!

W/C: 1550 ~ Warnings: None? General audiences.

-----

It was hot as hell.

Sweat trickled down the back of my neck as I checked the thermometer in the pastry display case. Melted cream cakes didn’t sell, and I had to keep the served-cold meat bao from spoiling, but at least the fortune cookies, red bean cakes and mochi would be good for hours.

People bustled past, some holding mini electric fans, others cooling themselves with tall iced drinks from the nearby Starbucks.

I took a deep drink from my water bottle. I’d topped up the ice cubes just ten minutes ago and they were already just a memory.

The two girls I employed cleaned tables, their hair scooped up out of their faces, chattering about some party they were off to later, and which popular boys would be attending. Their giggling made me feel every one of my thirty-two years.

The overhead fan whirled silently as the bell above the door tinkled musically, letting in a gaggle of teenagers. They kept me busy for the next few minutes, ordering a bunch of fortune cookies and bao, barely looking up from their phones as they paid me.

As one of the teenagers pulled the shop door open, a gasp of music broke my train of thought (mango or green tea cookies tomorrow?). Curious, I peered out of the window.

On the street corner, sitting against the trunk of a large tree planted in the sidewalk, a man played guitar and sang.

His head was down, but thick, dark hair peeked out from under his battered hat, the brim shading his face from view.

His voice was deep and melancholy, and it pulled at something inside me. I kept the door open, listening.

Quite a little crowd had gathered around him. His fingers danced over the guitar strings effortlessly, his low, sultry voice carrying to me on what little there was of a breeze in New York in July.

I got lost in the lyrics for a moment, and must have leaned on the door too hard. The bell tinkled and I had to hang on to avoid falling face first on the pavement.

Smooth, Lin. Real smooth.

Without skipping a beat, the busker glanced my way. His eyes were the very dark brown of expensive Swiss chocolate, concern shining in their depths.

I smiled to let him know I was okay, and his gaze moved over me for a moment. I felt every second. His eyes smiled first, and then as he finished the last note in a line, his lips curved, too, a dimple flashing above his scruffy beard, and oh. I was a goner. He was the most beautiful man I’d seen in a long time, and this was NYC, so that was saying something.

“Hey, Earth to Grace! You gonna stand there all day?”

The Brooklyn twang jerked me back to reality and I blinked, looking into the face of my delivery guy. “Sorry, Mikey.”

The bulky Asian-American grinned, casting a thumb at the busker.  “He’s all right.”

I tore my gaze away again. “He sure is.”

Mikey wheeled his little hand truck to the storeroom and started to unload as I served a young woman who had questions about allergies. She read my ingredients lists and decided on three pork floss buns, the ones hot from the heated plate. Just going near it made me near-recoil with the steam that bathed my face.

As the customer paid and I thanked her, clipping a business card to the paper bag, I glanced out at the busker. He was drinking from a water bottle, his head tipped back to expose the line of his neck. The bottle was near-empty.

“Hey, Kristi?” 

One of the girls I employed stopped mid-chatter to her colleague about someone called Dwayne and how dreamy he looked in a football jersey, and whipped her head round to me.

“Can you man the counter for a sec?”

She bobbed her head yes and we swapped places. I grabbed a bottle of water from the tall fridge by the door, the shaped plastic cold against my palm. I hesitated, then grabbed another.

The wall of heat enveloped me as soon as I stepped out of the door.

The busker looked up at the sound of the bell, shoulders bunching in his worn white t-shirt as I approached, as if steeling himself for something.

The crowd had thinned between songs, people put off from standing by the sheer heat of a New York summer, but the open guitar case held a bundle of notes, some fives and tens, as well as several scatterings of coins.

“Hi,” I greeted him. “Ma’am,” he drawled, softly. His smile seemed easy, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

I suspected that he was wondering if I was gearing up to threaten to call the police on his ass. 

I wasn’t.

I held out the bottles of water. “Thought you might be thirsty.”

“Sure am.” He smiled up at me, fingers drumming on his thigh, but he didn’t attempt to take the water. “‘S very kind of you.”

You stepped closer, offering the bottles and he finally took them from me . His hands brushed mine, his skin warm and tan, a little rough. I noticed the unusual ink on his fingers, wanted to ask, but politeness stopped me.

“Your music is beautiful,” I said as he unscrewed the first bottle, the second held between his knees.

“Thank you, ma’am.” He took a deep drink, and I tried not to feel like a letch, admiring the line of his neck, the bob of his Adam’s apple. “‘S a nice bakery you got there.”

“Thanks. I, um, never thought it’d be a thing. You know? When you dream about something for so long and when it finally comes true, you can’t believe it?”

He met my gaze. “Can’t say I know a whole lot about that.”

For the first time, I took in his attire properly - large burlap backpack, battered army-style boots, the laces frayed, the near-threadbare edges of his hat. “God. I’m so sorry, I’m such an idiot-”

He shook his head, a shy little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Don’ be. I like it better when folks don’t have to watch their every word ‘round me. I’m Ryan.”

“I’m Grace. The idiot.” I offered a hand and he shook it, and his palm was wide and warm, a little calloused, and sparks of awareness slid up my arm.

“Do you often play around here?” I gestured to the little stretch of the Chinatown of Flushing, Queens, that my bakery sat on.

“No, ma’am. I’m a traveller. Been t’ New York before, but not this particular spot.”

“And how is this particular spot?”

Ryan drummed his fingers on his guitar thoughtfully. “‘S good. Folk are nice, for the most part.” He started on the second bottle of water, his tongue flicking out to over bottom lip after he drank. “Hot as hell, though, and I say that as a Southern boy.”

I opened my mouth to ask where in the South he hailed from, but Kristi appeared in the doorway of my shop. “Grace? Sorry, Mikey needs the auth code for this delivery.”

“Oh, sure.” I turned back to Ryan. “It was good to meet you. Your music is really fantastic.”

He ducked his head, smiling, a little shy. “Mighty kind of you, ma’am.”

By this point another little crowd had gathered, waiting to hear him sing, and I left them to it. I wished I could have the shop door open to hear him, but that would defeat the point of air conditioning.

But even so, throughout the afternoon, I kept glancing over, seeing him still there, singing. During a busy point I asked Kristi to go and bring him another bottle of water, and I saw the smile he flashed her, feeling jealous of the attention, and called myself utterly ridiculous for it. I hadn’t even known Ryan existed a couple of hours ago.

Customers thinned out. It was a weekday, and business always slowed down around six pm. I shut at seven, so at six-thirty I sent Kristi and Susan home. As they opened the door, I caught a line of song in Ryan’s soft, smooth drawl.

Nine hundred more miles, and I’ll be doin’ just fine-

When he finished, after the small crowd had dropped dollar bills and murmured their appreciation, I called out to him.

“You want to come inside? Have a cold drink? Use the air con?”

I saw the hesitation flick over his face, the trepidation mixed with curiosity, and in the end, the latter must’ve won, because he stood up.

“That’s it for today, ladies and gentlemen,” I heard him say to the people circled around him. A man tossed a couple of bills in his guitar case, and Ryan touched his hat in thanks.

The listeners dispersed, and Ryan settled his guitar in his case like a mother swaddling her baby; with utmost gentleness. And then he looked up, smiling, that dimple winking, and walked towards me.

Taglist: @agirllovespancakes

[coochiequeens]

Why the hell is HuffPost Women releasing this without discussing how this “sex worker” online only. She is not physically interacting with strangers. She even had a lucrative career before turning to sex work. This is not typical of most women trapped in the sex industry.

I am a sex worker and a nude model. I post nude pictures of myself and sell masturbation videos for a subscription fee on my OnlyFans website. My journey in this industry began in my teenage years admiring models like Jenny McCarthy. I knew that guys found me attractive, and I was proud of the way I looked. I liked my body and was not shy about showing it off in skimpy clothes when the weather was warm. I got a lot of attention. I decided to pursue sex work after high school, but my plan to enter the industry was cut short when I married young and had my first child at 19. My priority was being a mom, and it’s still my priority today.

When I was 31, my husband became sick with an illness that eventually took his life. Caring for my husband and the stress, anxiety and intense grief that I experienced took a toll on my health and my looks. I eventually pulled myself together, quit my full-time at job as a recruiter and started nude modeling.

My first experience in the adult industry was when I made a video of myself masturbating and posted it on a popular porn site. I gained a following on social media when I began posting photos of myself in scanty clothing on sites like Instagram. I began to funnel traffic from my social media and the porn site to my OnlyFans page, which I control and run.

It was scary quitting my very lucrative job to do this sex work full time. I have a family to support, and I knew I couldn’t fail. Though I felt comfortable and even excited showing off my body, I was worried about jumping into this world with no safety net. Fortunately, I’ve been incredibly successful in my sex work career, and it’s a dream come true to get up every day and be paid to do something I truly enjoy.

A widowed mom becoming a sex worker is somewhat of a unique story, but my story is even more unusual because I am an active member of the Mormon Church. Life as a Mormon means keeping the commandments and upholding the promises that are made at baptism. This includes “choosing the right” when making decisions and living a “pure life.”

Members are taught that the body is a temple, so we don’t drink coffee or alcohol, and pornography is not allowed. Members are expected to dress modestly. We are expected to conduct ourselves in a manner that doesn’t go against the church’s teachings, especially when in public. We’re supposed be an example for other members and others in society.

Being a Mormon goes beyond attending Sunday services. The Mormon Church is a tight-knit organization, and regular check-ins with the bishop, participating in church activities, receiving visits from other members and acting as missionaries are all parts of the effort to support us and help keep us on the straight and narrow. We are encouraged to read the Scriptures daily and visit the Mormon temple.

As you might imagine, my content is anything but modest. I’m posting nude full-frontal photos and masturbation videos. My website is a sexy blog showing some of the parts of my everyday life ― including cooking and cleaning. I take these photos throughout my house while the kids are at school.

Because I embraced my sexuality from an early age, I have always felt like I was out of place with my conservative Mormon friends. As a teenager, I was sexually active and daydreamed of modeling for Playboy. I never felt like I was the problem. I thought everyone else in my community just needed to catch up with the times. I believe in God, Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation. I believe that God wants us to be proud of our bodies and comfortable with sexuality. I believe that church leaders have decided this is wrong ― not God ― and I do not believe I need to choose between doing something I love and continuing as a member of the Mormon Church.

“I am coming out to my community as a sex worker, and I will continue attending the church with my head held high. I want other women and men to know that it’s OK to explore their sexuality without shame. We shouldn’t have to hide our true selves or what we desire because we fear we’ll be disowned by the people or community we love.”

Still, while I don’t worry or care about people looking down on me for my work, I do fear excommunication from the church. I love attending church, and my kids love going with me. I do not want to give that up ― especially because I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. I have had no formal pushback from the church yet because my career as a sex worker was still a secret. A couple of friends who are Mormons have warned me that if this story receives national attention, the public affairs department of the church will see it and likely refer my activity to the local church leadership and I may face excommunication.

I obviously do not want that. But, because I love my work and I love my church, I have decided to go public and talk about the intertwining of my two very different identities. I am coming out to my community as a sex worker, and I will continue attending the church with my head held high. I want other women and men to know that it’s OK to explore their sexuality without shame. We shouldn’t have to hide our true selves or what we desire because we fear we’ll be disowned by the people or community we love.

Of course, I could leave the Mormon Church and find another religion or denomination that might be more welcoming to me, but I love being Mormon. It’s what I have known for many years. It’s what my kids know and have been raised as.

I know that once people learn about my life as a sex worker there will be whispers about me. I know that because I represent something that is forbidden by the church, it will challenge others limits and understanding of what faith and acceptance mean. I’m OK with all of that, especially if it means we can start a conversation within the church about who belongs and who doesn’t belong. I believe that conversation is long overdue.

I know there are other church members who would like to explore their sexuality in a similar way as me, and I’m hoping I can be a role model for them and help pave the way for them, whether that means learning more about pleasure and their own desires or actually entering the industry. It’s a sometimes cutthroat business, but if you’re good at what you do and you work hard, you can support yourself and your family. And you can do all of it while being a good, God-loving person.

Holly Jane is an OnlyFans and online Playboy Centerfold model, a widowed mom of four and an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Oregon native has taken on a public role to speak out on behalf of choosing her devout faith while expressing her sexual freedom as a multifaceted individual. She is intent on supporting others who want to live openly while still adhering to the basic tenets of their religious beliefs. You can find more from her on Instagram.

If she is doing this to support her family then she most have young kids at home. I hope she‘s aware the onlyfans pervs have found ways of stalking women

[shunsuiken]

i'm rewatching haikyuu and whenever oikawa appears on screen ehekrjehejdn i feel kinda shy looking he's just so pretty 😭😭 and it got me thinking how would oikawa deal with an s/o who's too shy to meet his gaze if its okay can i request this and with a fem reader in fic format?

FR FR!!!! this was me when i first started watching haikyuu earlier this year. i literally couldn’t look at him without blushing 🤕💔 and yes !! its totally fine to request this in fic format <3

oikawa has a fem s/o who’s too shy to meet his gaze.

you hadn’t realised this fact until you were caught dozing off in class. oikawa had coincidentally turned around to stretch before he caught you blankly staring at the teacher. you didn’t notice his gaze until you fortunately zoned back into the class, meeting oikawa’s cheeky eyes that were paired with a grin.

you remembered your reaction to that one. you immediately looked away, bringing your hands up subtly to hide the flustered expression you made behind them. obviously oikawa knew he’d caught you off guard and he would definitely do it again if he would like to.

or at least, with any chance he received.

so while you were walking down the hallway with your friends, you noticed oikawa from the corner of your eye (these small things were remnants of your crush on oikawa before you two made things official). you remembered how you awkwardly began to focus on your friend’s face, doing everything in your power to ensure that it looked like you were having a serious conversation with her, just so that oikawa wouldn’t spare you that cheeky glance of his.

you know, the one that would paint your face in utter pinkness. the one that would set the butterflies off in a frenzy in your stomach, the one that would give you such unecessary heart palpitations and made you grimace at the cheesiness of the purpose.

that glint in his eye had the power to make you melt. you couldn’t handle it and you felt like this was affecting you even more day by day. it grew much harder to look him in the eye and talk to him face to face.

oikawa actually noticed that you wouldn’t even look at him whenever you two were walking side by side. he scoured his mind for a second, flipping through reasons and factors that could have caused this and came to a simple conclusion.

you were just very shy.

he had no problem with this, he actually grew quite fond with your reactions and perhaps has gushed about it in secret with iwaizumi. especially since now that you were on his lap, back warm against his chest without a tinge of timidness in your aura as you watched a youtube video. all he needed to do to flick your switch was to make you look at him.

“y/n,” he mumbled, lips pressed on the crown of your head.

“yeah?” you removed your attention from the video, briefly looking up to meet his eyes, regretting it immediately when you realised what you brought yourself into.

he watched you swiftly avert your gaze to the wall, he couldn’t help but let out a small giggle. “y/n, where are you looking??” you grimaced, the grip around your waist tightened and before you knew it, you were stuck to his lap.

this issue of yours had easily gone under his suspicions—you expected a reaction like this. of course he’d make you look at him, and while you were stuck in place too. all of your previous options to make excuses and run away were blown over.

“n- nowhere.” you gritted your teeth, turning away whilst fighting the grasp he had on you. you were obviously no match for his strength but it couldn’t hurt to try. whatever you were thinking, oikawa wanted to hear it come out of your mouth.

“y/n-chan.” you turned away.

“y/n.”

“y/n.” absolute silence.

“y/n l/n!” now that caught your attention.

oikawa was elated to have caught your eyes for a second, his expression then deflating when you turned away. he managed to notice the obvious pigment on your cheeks though, he thought it was cute.

“you’re blushing an awful lot today, am i just that attractive, y/n-chan?”

it was incredibly unfair just how gorgeous your boyfriend looked. his coffee-coloured hair complemented his paler skin, and the smile he wore whenever he saw you only magnified his beauty. but what you really paid attention to was his eyes. it was the chocolate, earthy hue that stared into yours that sent heat running to your ears.

“well—” you scratched your head, shrugging. “yeah.”

oikawa gasped dramatically, feigning a dumbfounded expression at your agreement. “y/n, you think i’m attractive?”

“what—i happen to have great taste, y’know!” you remarked, lips curling into a smile at his behaviour.

“then why aren’t you ever looking at me?” he pouted, folding his arms over his chest like he was a child.

“like you said—” your index finger rose from your lap to boop his nose, “—i think you’re attractive. can’t see why you think i can look into your eyes properly when you look like this.”

oikawa’s ears perked up. there it is.

when you saw the smirk that grew on his face, you could only groan, moving your stare elsewhere.

the coffee-eyed boy let out a hearty laugh, accidentally pinning you onto the bed when you failed to flee from his puckered lips that aimed to place a fat smooch on your forehead.

you cringed at the affection but it hadn’t prevented the grin that spread on your lips.

“you’re pretty,” oikawa hummed, entangling his fingers into your hair and you were about to protest, but your words were cut off once he sealed the gap between you two.

“i’m never letting you out of my sight.”

[lifeofkaze]

An Art of Balance #6

A/N: If anyone’s interested, the perfume Lizzie is wearing is one of my all-time favourites, Aqua di Gioia by Giorgio Armani. It’s really poorly described here because my olfactory recognition doesn’t go beyond ‘good’ and ‘bad’, but well. It’s divine though. Also, bear with me if sth astrological is wrong, this stuff is complicated! Katriona Cassiopeia (aka KC) belongs to my lovely friend @kc-needs-coffee

  Word Count: ~ 2.100

______________________________________________________________ 

Chapter 6: A New Perspective

As it turned out, Orion’s decision to name Everett Hufflepuff’s new Beater had been the right one. He still had a way to go, but he immediately fell in line with the rest of the team. What he lacked in precision, he made up in strength.

Orion had taking his individual training on himself. As the team’s captain, he saw it as his personal responsibility to ensure every one of his teammates was able to reach his full potential. Everett was a fast learner, but it would take him a few more sessions to even be remotely able to hold a candle to the Ravenclaw Beaters.

Rath and Cassiopeia had been a well attuned team for many years now, both as skilled a Beater as they came. They would need any protection against them they could get, and the match against Ravenclaw was approaching fast.

Although Orion wasn’t the type of person to let his mind be clouded by worries, he had to admit he wasn’t entirely sure they could get Everett into proper form in time. He had been voicing his concerns to Lizzie the other day, during one of their tutoring sessions. If anyone knew what it took to become a Beater in a short amount of time it was her.

Lately, Orion had found himself looking forward to their meetings in the greenhouse, despite his already tightly packed schedule. It was refreshing to discuss their team matters with someone that didn’t flood him with a multitude of statistics for a change. Lizzie had a different approach to things than him, but they weren’t polar opposites like he and Skye. Exchanging views with her had provided him with a new impulse more than once.

In fact, he had come to enjoy her presence in general, even more so than before. They had always been friends but his knowledge about her had pretty much begun and ended at the Quidditch pitch. Seeing her outside team meetings and practise had allowed him to get to know other sides of her. He’d had no idea Lizzie had been part of the duelling club until last year. Or that Arithmancy was one of her favourite subjects. Or that she used a perfume smelling distinctively of jasmine and mint.

Orion had a harder time bonding with her friend Rowan. He hadn’t had any points of contact with her before he had started tutoring them. Now, several weeks later, he still knew hardly anything about her. She seemed to be exceptionally smart, but also equally as shy. Most of the time she would consult her textbook about the plants he tried to teach them about, while Lizzie paid it no mind, listening to his explanations instead.

Orion couldn’t help his impression that Rowan was struggling with his unconventional style of teaching. He didn’t refer to books more than he had to, rather letting his instinct and experience guide him.

Having trained with him for years, Lizzie knew his way of conveying knowledge was not always straightforward. Rowan, however, had a hard time letting go of protocol. She was clinging to the academic theory as if her life depended on it. Following the rules could help with a lot of problems, but she would never master the delicate nuances advanced Herbology had to offer, if she wasn’t willing to tread paths unknown to her.

“And what exactly is the difference between dried foxglove petals and desiccated foxglove petals?”

McNully snapped him out of his thoughts and back to where they were sitting in the Great Hall. It was study time and most of the students were gathered at their House tables, brooding over their homework.

They had been discussing their latest Potions essay, covering the effects sourcing methods had on the quality of ingredients.

“That is what we are supposed to illustrate, I believe.” Orion dipped his quill into the ink bottle they were sharing and tried to pick up where his wandering thoughts had let him off. His eyes wandered casually across the other Hufflepuff students lining their table.

It lingered where Skye and Lizzie were sitting. Lizzie was rapidly flicking through the pages of her textbook with a puzzled expression. Skye was talking insistently at her, looking equally as bewildered.

Several heads shot up as Lizzie audibly slammed her book shut and clambered off the bench. When Skye made no move to follow her, she jerked the other girl up off her seat and motioned with her head towards where he and McNully were sat.

They quietly walked towards the head of the Hufflepuff table. Seeing them approach, McNully reached for his wheelchair that was blocking the way. He moved it aside to allow the girls to join them. Orion smiled.

“What can we help you with?”

Wordlessly, Lizzie held up her copy of Unfogging the Future and slid into a seat between Murphy and him. She reopened the page she had been examining before and gave a frustrated sigh.

“I cannot tell you how much I hate Divination, I really can’t. You’re good at this, aren’t you?”

Orion supressed a smile. “So I am told. What bothers you in particular?”

“It’s those bloody birthstones,” Skye explained. “No matter how often we go over it, Lizzie and I always come to different results and we can’t find the mistake.”

They handed him their notes and Orion quickly gave them a check before returning them.

“That is because both choices are correct. There is more than one birthstone for each of the zodiac signs. You both chose the right stone for the right sign, but in different parts of the time span covered.”

Skye groaned in frustration, earning her a chiding glance from Professor Flitwick, who was supervising them today. “What do you mean, more than one? Why can’t this stuff be straightforward for once?”

“Everyone is different and such is reflected in the stones fortifying our inner strengths. Why should there be so little birthstones when there are so many traits to represent?”

Both girls looked at him with blank expressions.

Patiently, he flipped the pages to one of the star charts at the back of the book. “The astrological year is divided into the twelve zodiac signs. Each zodiac sign is subdivided into three decades, meaning a set of ten days. There are additional factors to consider, but simply put, there are three birthstones for each sign, representing one decade each. That is why you come to different conclusions, you didn’t factor in the time of the month.”

He contemplated telling them about the stones meant to counteract each signs weaknesses. But seeing Skye pinching the bridge of her nose, while was Lizzie trying to process what he had just said, muttering “I hate Divination” under her breath, he decided against it. Better not too much at once.

“How do you know all this nonsense?” Skye was shaking her head in disbelief.

“I know all this because it is explained in the introduction of the chapter you two apparently weren’t reading too diligently.” He turned the pages back to the beginning and pointed at the paragraph on the first page.

Lizzie’ cheeks flushed a bright read as she quickly scanned the text. “I can’t believe I overlooked this.” Embarrassed, she quickly snatched the book out of Orion’s hands and got up. “Thanks for helping anyway.”

They made their way back to their places, the scent of jasmine and mint lingering behind. Orion was always glad if he could help a friend. A few seats down the table, Lizzie was discussing what he had just told them with Skye. He thought back on what Penny and Murphy had said on the train ride to Hogwarts a few weeks earlier.

Lizzie really had changed a lot. She seemed to be standing taller, an air of effortless confidence around her. The blush on her cheeks had made her look really pretty, reminding him of how the rush of the wind brought the colour to her face when she was flying. She was moving differently as well, more graceful and fluently, her hips swaying ever so slightly with every step she took. He had never noticed her hips swaying like that before.

McNully nudged his shoulder. “Uhm, Orion… if you don’t want to rewrite your whole essay, I’d move my quill if I was you.”

He snapped out of it and looked down at his parchment. The ink was dripping from the tip of his quill, forming a large black puddle at the end of his last sentence that was quickly spreading onto the rest of his half-finished essay.

Orion cursed under his breath, immediately drawing his wand to vanish the excess ink. Fortunately not too much of his work was ruined.

McNully raised his eyebrows. “Such a strong language, my friend. I have only heard you curse three times, so far. One time was when you crashed your broom into the commentary box and broke your wrist, the second time when you forgot the time while broom balancing and almost missed your Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. exam and the third time when you burned yourself on your cauldron and spilled Wiggenweld Potion all over Professor Snape. This reaction is 87,9 % surprising.”

He felt the heat creeping up his neck. McNully was right, he wasn’t easily enticed to displaying his emotions verbally. He hadn’t meant to let himself slip like that.

Choosing not to answer his curious friend, he committed himself to restoring the missing part of his essay. But McNully wouldn’t let it pass like that.

He was nodding in the direction of Lizzie. “I wonder if she knows how much attention she is attracting.”

Orion gripped his quill a little tighter, concentrating on finishing his sentence. He fought the urge to follow McNully’s gaze.

“Our friend has a captivating personality, for sure. But would you mind lifting the veil of ignorance from my eyes and tell me how you reached such a conclusion?”

For a moment, McNully smirked knowingly before he directed Orion’s attention over to where their roommates were sitting. He could easily make out what McNully had been referring to. Everett was eyeing the girls up without even trying to conceal it.

“Him, of course. He’s been checking Lizzie out ever since she came over to us.” He smiled innocently at him. “Why, who did you think I was talking about?”

Orion’s brow furrowed in concern. He didn’t like the predatory look on Everett’s face. This guy had somewhat of a reputation.

“Yeah, I don’t like the looks he’s giving her either,” McNully echoed his unspoken thoughts with a scowl. He leaned closer to him, putting his elbow on Orion’s shoulder in conspiratorial way. “I think we should do something about it, don’t you? And by ‘we’, I obviously mean ‘you’.”

Shaking off McNully’s hand, Orion gave him a disapproving look. “And why would I do that? He is our new Beater if you don’t recall.”

“For the sake of the team, of course!”

McNully started reciting his calculations. “I’d put the chance of him going for our little Chaser prodigy at roughly 80 %. There are some variables unaccounted for, but I’d say the chances of Lizzie falling for him lie at something around 54 %. Which would affect the team’s dynamic gravely. And we can’t have that decreasing our- I mean, your odds on winning the Quidditch Cup.”

Orion blew onto his parchment until the ink had properly dried. “You talk as if he was actually hitting her up. All he did was looking at her.”

And there was certainly nothing wrong with looking.

“Lizzie can fend for herself if need be. Besides, who am I to interfere with the course the heart is deciding to take.”

McNully looked at him as if he had lost his mind. “Mate… I don’t think the heart has much to with it if you get my drift. Seriously, do something.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” He stood up and handed Professor Flitwick his work of the day.

McNully raised one eyebrow at him. “And what would that be?”

Orion gathered his strewn books and notes. “Finding balance inside and outside of my mind, my dear friend. See you at dinner.”

[reddeadbread]

Fortunate ones

Javier Escuella x reader

Part 5

Summary: You recover from your first job with Javier.

Notes: this is another long chapter frick I’m sorry, this had been mostly written for days but here it is at last.

warnings: blood/guns?? SFW as always yall

word count: 2093

last chapter - next chapter

There was a loud thud of a body hitting the floor as the smoke cleared. You stared at the stranger you had just shot, shock taking over for a second that dragged on for an age. He didn’t die right away, and his co-workers wailed in terror while he writhed in pain. “fuck.” This was the best word you could come up with to summarize your current emotions. There was so much more blood than you thought there would be, his expensive tailored waistcoat soaking up all that red. That was a close one. It could have been you shot, or Javier. Oh christ, Javier. You whipped your head round to check on him.

“Mierda!” The victim’s gun had gone off as he went down but the bullet had thankfully only grazed Javier’s arm. Still not exactly how you wanted your first job to go.

“Javier!” you rushed to his side carelessly, anyone would think the bullet had hit his chest the way panic saturated your words.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” he whistled for the horses hastily. Those gunshots had drawn too much attention and anyone nearby would of heard it, you needed to move and fast. Both the driver and the passengers were too busy cowering to even dare try and attack either of you again and they didn’t move from their position, whimpering by the corpse of the man you’d shot when you snatched all the cash from the lockbox and crammed it into your saddlebags. “We need to move.” Javier pressed and you quickly mounted up and followed his lead. The thundering of the horse’s hooves matching the thundering in your chest as white-hot adrenaline coursed through your veins. It felt almost euphoric, or at least it would if you weren’t so worked up about Javier and about that man you’d gunned down.

The both of you bolted from the scene before anyone could so much as investigate, never mind alert the authorities, so it was safe to say you weren’t followed but that didn’t stop you from taking the long way back to camp. As soon as you were out of sight of passer-by and into the trees outside horseshoe overlook, you came tearing off your horse to his aid. “Let me see! That moron, I saw him reaching for his gun and I just-“ you cut yourself off mid-sentence and shook your head, as if trying to shake the thoughts out of your mind. He dismounted slowly, ready to insist he was perfectly fine until you caught him off guard again. Oh, so carefully you took his arm to examine the small wound, your touch as gentle as ever. Javier had been through a lot in his life, far too much as had most members of the Van Der Linde gang, but people were rarely so concerned for him. As long as he wasn’t dead it didn’t matter, you kept moving forward. “I’m sorry you got hurt because of me. It looks like it hurts.” The guilt of it all hit you and the weight of it was crushing.

“I’m fine, Just a scratch. We got away, you got the money, right?” this was of more importance than him, at least that was the way it always had been. The life of an outlaw, life as one of Dutch’s boys. It was dangerous but that was how it was for him, he wouldn’t even concern himself with a near miss like this for a second. Still, he didn’t pull away when you took his arm, it felt nice for someone to be so tender.

“I’m so sorry. This is my fault, you could have been really hurt, or killed!” You frowned as you looked at the blood on his shirt. It was really true when you said you wanted your first job to be with him because he was your favourite, you trusted him after only a few short weeks and that was rare in this life.

He looked at you, it was obvious you were upset, and he didn’t want you feeling so terrible over something so silly. He rested his free hand over yours, it lingered there for a moment before he spoke “I’m really okay, y/n.” he smiled at you, moving his hand to gently tilt your head towards him to press a kiss to your forehead. He had acted on impulse, he wanted to make you feel better. Normally if he flirted it was all just a little game to make you blush, and normally because he was drunk and had a soft spot for you, but this was just kindness. Maybe that wasn’t the most obvious trait Javier displayed but he had a good heart just as you thought you did and this small gesture made that weight much less heavy.

“no nicknames? Now I know it’s serious.” You joked and he smiled, you felt better when he smiled. You hesitated for only a second before wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He laughed a little and wrapped his unscathed arm around you. You had a spark about you, enough grit to survive but enough heart to not be warped by all this.

“Javier? y/n? you finally back?” You heard Bills voice and pulled away, a little sheepish as you looked at him, wandering out here for guard duty. “oh, am I interruptin’?” he spoke mockingly, and you were surprised he was even intelligent enough to mock anyone.

“we’re back.” You responded flatly, taking your horses reins to lead her back to camp. Bill tried to give Javier a knowing look but much to his dismay he was ignored.

Of course, when you arrived back in camp Dutch wanted to know how it had gone and you handed over half of the money just as you were told. He didn’t ask anything else once the money was in the box. He didn’t even ask why there was blood on Javier’s shirt. Upon arrival into this gang you had wondered why people did whatever Dutch said but already you noticed that you were doing the same. He spoke so confidently, every word that slipped past his silver tongue was dripping with charisma and you did as he asked without even stopping to think whether or not it was a good idea.

Javier was ready to leave and volunteer for guard duty again before you stopped him, taking his good arm and pulling him back towards you “hey, come.” You dragged him along to one of the tables and he reluctantly obliged, bewildered as he may be. “let me see,” you waited expectedly, and he stared back at you blankly. “what? You want it to get infected? You want to lose that arm?” you’d had your moment of weakness, but you were concerned for him now. Harmless as it may be this injury surely hurt. “so let me see.”

“so you want me to take my shirt off?” he looked bemused still, not expecting his own personal doctor over this tiny injury.

“don’t get shy on me now. I promise not to faint.” You quipped, skimming through the exceedingly lacking medical supplies you’d found once you’d paid your pound of flesh you owed to this gang into the chest, but you wouldn’t need much. The wound was minor, just a scratch as he said but you took your responsibility for it.

He glanced around camp, not many people were around anyways, it was early afternoon and the sun was still high in the sky. Most people were out at this hour. “Well if you really insist Chiquita. Do your worst.” He slipped off his shirt to give you access to the small would on his left arm.

Your eyes drifted down to his body for a moment, you couldn’t help yourself, but you tried to keep your focus on the task at hand. You noticed a few more scars on his body that were previously hidden under his clothes and pondered how he got them all.

You looked at the small gash and dabbed alcohol on it as gently as you could but he still sucked in air through his teeth, he was pretty sure this was more painful than leaving it to get infected but he went against instinct to keep his arm still to humour you.

“sorry,” you apologised when he flinched, easing off to give him a moment to adjust before continuing on. You were no doctor, but you knew to keep wounds clean and covered so that’s what you did. He watched you closely, not accustomed to this attention but enjoying your touch and observing the focus on your face until you were done and looked up at him, your eyes meeting his. “I guess now I owe you two, once for this mess and again for saving me up on that mountain.”

“that was Dutch,” Javier corrected you, he had happened to be the one to find you but around here Dutch was boss, he was the one who allowed you to stay. He was quite sure that he was the reason you stayed too, Dutch was the glue that kept everyone together and there wasn’t a man or woman here who didn’t trust him with their life.

“I don’t think so. Besides, you’ve been kind to me since I arrived.” you spent more time with him than anyone, something about him drew you to him right away. “I mean, every person here has been nice to me. Other than maybe Micah but I don’t think he has a kind bone in his body.”

“ah, Micah doesn’t count as a person.” He joked as he slipped his shirt back on and pulled out cigarette paper to begin carefully rolling a cigarette. He gave you a sideways glance as he did “y/n? Today…was that the first time you shot someone?” when he asked you this your smile quickly vanished which almost made him regret asking.

He was too blunt, and you stammered in your response. “uh…yeah. First time killing someone at least.” You looked down at his hands fiddling with the cigarette paper to avoid the steady gaze of his deep brown eyes. Killing was something he was perfectly accustomed to but as he looked over to see you shuffling uncomfortably in your seat, he realised that was not the case for you. He offered you the neatly rolled cigarette as if that would be helpful now but you shook your head and he set it aside.

“are you alright?” a stupid question really but what else was he to say? He could hardly remember what it was like to kill for the first time.

“I’m alright.” You were lying really but you’d get used to it. Everyone else already had after all.

“you know he would of shot me if you hadn’t shot him. You shouldn’t feel guilty.” He offered, watching you carefully still as if he was worried you might break. You had been rather fragile when you had arrived back at camp.

“I know.” You paused, not wanting to talk about this despite Javier’s good intentions to console you, “why are you looking at me like that? You gonna kiss me again?” your smile was just a little less bright after that particular topic had been discussed but you couldn’t resist throwing this back at him again and it made him laugh as he lit up his cigarette.

“maybe I will, Princesa. Would it make you feel better? I can if you really want me to.” he took a deep drag of his cigarette before exhaling the smoke slowly. You felt yourself blushing a little and turned your face away.

“you wish,” you were still lying but you at least managed to play off your reaction as a dramatic eyeroll. Javier laughed as he took another drag of his cigarette. You’d never liked the smell of tobacco before but on him you did. “next time I should go out alone,” you announced after a few seconds of admiring the man in front of you. “then I won’t get anyone hurt.”

“no.” he replied too quickly “no. That’s too dangerous. Dutch wouldn’t allow it. If you want to go out again come find me.” He was uncertain if he used Dutch as an excuse, either to save face and not embarrass himself in front of you or to save face and not admit to himself that he liked you more than even he was saying. Either way it didn’t matter, he had signed himself up to stay by your side and you gladly agreed.

“Okay. I’ll find you.”

[kimjoongs]

the line between realities ; k.hj

pairing none (just hj marinating in his thoughts)

genre diary film au, angst, minor fluff

word count 2.3k

warning(s) cursing

taglist @yunwoo @deonghwa @toffee-hwa @fairyofdusk @peachjaem00 @atinykidult

dia’s note just a short little thing i whipped up last night, no real rhyme or reason to it !

synopsis hongjoong vaguely recalls the moments before everything went to shit.

seoul, sk 160629 4:33 p.m.

Hongjoong’s Log

Today was our first day of practice. If I’m being honest, we all sucked. It took us more than an hour to learn the first 30 seconds. I could tell everyone was slowly getting frustrated with the lack of progress, but it was only our first practice. I told them that this was to be expected. Fortunately, that seemed to ease their minds, even if it was only a little. 

After practice, none of us felt like leaving just yet, so we hung around in the warehouse a while longer. There’s an old basketball hoop attached to one of the beams, so Jongho, San, Yeosang, and Mingi are over there playing. Wooyoung and Yunho are sitting on one of the sofas, talking animatedly about Wooyoung’s last dance battle, and Seonghwa is sitting next to me, reading a book he found in the corner. 

It’s kinda strange. This was our first time meeting all together, but it feels like we’ve known each other for years.

I hope it stays like this.

“Watch out!”

Hongjoong barely had time to look up before he was hit square in the face by a basketball. He fell back with a yelp, his chair tipping over until it came down with a sharp clatter, taking Hongjoong along with it. He landed on the concrete with a thud, the sound bouncing off the walls. A hiss of pain left his lips, and he rolled over onto his back, head spinning as his eyes adjusted due to the sudden impact.

“Shit–”

“Hongjoong!”

“Good going, San.”

“I didn’t mean to!”

Hongjoong, still dazed and confused, felt a hand on his shoulder. A look to his right revealed the face of Seonghwa, who peered down at the other with nothing but concern. His eyebrows were scrunched together, lips set into a frown. 

“Hongjoong?” he murmured softly. “You okay?”

By now, the others have already gathered around the fallen male, mirroring Seonghwa’s expression. Although San’s was a bit more prominent as he held onto the basketball tightly, the same one that caused Hongjoong to fall over in the first place.

Hongjoong groaned, rubbing his aching nose with his hand. With the help of Seonghwa, he gently pushed himself up into a sitting position and took a moment to make sure that he wasn’t going to keel over before standing up, wincing when he felt his joints crack.

“Damn, I’m getting old,” he muttered under his breath, earning a chuckle from Yeosang who stood closest to him. He glanced back at the rest of the group, eyes falling on San, who looked about ready to spew out a plethora of apologies.

Hongjoong beat him to it.

“It’s okay, San. I’m fine,” he assured with a smile. The younger’s eyes widened at the apology, and he bit his lip.

“I’ll be more careful next time.”

The others laughed fondly, and Yunho reached over, swinging his arm around San’s shoulders, pulling the shorter male towards him. A soft, wispy sigh came from behind, and Hongjoong peeked over his shoulder. Seonghwa gazed back at him with an exasperated look, but the tender glint in his eye said more than words ever could.

What am I going to do with you people?

Hongjoong smiled, turning back.

The others had already begun to return to their previous activities, leaving Hongjoong and Seonghwa at the table. The former bent down and picked up the chair, plopping down on it once it was upright. Seonghwa breezed past his own chair and chose to sit on the table instead, crossing his legs. He glanced down at Hongjoong briefly before turning his attention back to his book, flipping the pages until he found the one he left off on.

The notebook Hongjoong had been writing in laid flat, the finished entry staring up at him, leaving Hongjoong to wonder if the words would start shifting. The more he looked at it, the more the letters moved— dancing down the page, line by line by line, until they reached the end. 

He blinked. The letters froze.

With a sigh, Hongjoong closed his notebook, pushing it aside. He leaned back into the chair, mindful not to let it tip over again, and closed his eyes.

And that’s when he heard it. Music. 

Hongjoong opened his eyes, wordlessly scanning the building for the source of the sound. His gaze fell on Jongho, who was no longer playing basketball with the others, but stationed on one of the sofas instead, strumming an old acoustic. Where did he even find that?

The rest of them, save for the two eldest, sat in an irregular circle around the younger, watching him with rapt interest. Jongho hummed along with the notes, a soothing melody that wrapped itself around each and every one of them, providing a sense of comfort they’ve never felt before.

His fingers smoothly glided over the frets, like a figure skater drifting seamlessly across the ice. The strings vibrated, filling the space with a mellow yet saccharine timbre, a rather far cry from the harsh, hard-hitting beats they danced to earlier.

Hongjoong was entranced to say the least. 

He was so entranced that he almost failed to notice Seonghwa softly singing along next to him. Almost.

Whipping his head to the side, Hongjoong stared wide-eyed at the brunette, mouth parting slightly in shock. Seonghwa paid him no mind and continued his musical ministrations, not a single beat behind Jongho. In fact, he seemed to be a beat ahead even.

“You know this song?” Hongjoong whispered, finally catching the other’s attention. Seonghwa froze mid-note. He stared back at Hongjoong before shyly looking away, as if he hadn’t meant for Hongjoong to hear him.

“Uh, yeah,” he replied sheepishly. “I do.”

He wasn’t sure why Seonghwa had reacted that way. Maybe he was shy? Maybe he never sang in front of anyone before, and it just slipped out? Hongjoong didn’t know.

But what he did know was—

“Well, your voice sounds really nice.”

Seonghwa gawked at him. “Uh– What?”

“Your voice. It’s nice.”

Seonghwa blinked.

Once.

Twice. 

And then—

“Thank...you?” He said it with uncertainty, but his eyes shined brighter than any star Hongjoong had ever seen. Hongjoong giggled at the dazed look on his face.

“What? Has no one ever told you that before? Don’t tell me I’m the first,” he gasped dramatically, placing his hand on his chest. Seonghwa laughed breathily, shaking his head.

“No, you’re...you’re actually the second.”

Hongjoong clicked his tongue in disappointment “Second place– what a shame.Who beat me to the punch?”

Seonghwa’s smile dropped, only slightly, and he turned his head away before Hongjoong took notice.

He knew the younger didn’t mean to, but his question had opened up more wounds than Seonghwa could handle. He felt a sharp pang in his chest, right where his heart should be. He mentally cursed, disappointed with himself.

It had been over a year since then, yet Seonghwa was still very much affected by it.

He swallowed the huge lump forming in his throat, blinking away the set of fresh tears in his eyes, and looked back at Hongjoong. The blue-haired male was gazing at him, waiting patiently for a response. Seonghwa managed to force one out.

“Oh, just a– a friend. An old...friend.”

If Hongjoong noticed the inner turmoil Seonghwa was experiencing right now, he didn’t mention it. Satisfied with his answer, Hongjoong nodded, standing up.

“Well, if it means anything to you,” he said, patting the brunette on the back, “you should keep singing.”

Hongjoong gave him one last smile, and then he trotted off, joining the others on the couch. Seonghwa watched him. This time, he couldn’t stop the single tear that ran down his cheek.

Because for the second time in his life, Seonghwa was rendered speechless.

As someone who prided himself to be a source of comfort for others, a walking positive affirmation for those with troubled minds and aching hearts, he was quite clueless when it came to his own troubled mind and aching heart. Seonghwa was all too used to people coming to him whenever they sought support and care. Words were his way of healing, so it was only natural for him to be good at it.

What he wasn’t good at was receiving those same words in return. Not because he was humble or anything, he just– he wasn’t used to it. The people he interacted with on a daily basis were quite stingy with their compliments, and Seonghwa knew that, he accepted them for what they were worth (even if they held little to no value). He was perfectly fine with being the pillar to lean on; he didn’t want compliments or encouragement from other people.

But Seonghwa was still human. Humans had needs.

Maybe he didn’t want it, but he certainly needed it.

A disbelieving laugh left his lips as Hongjoong’s words repeatedly rang through his mind like a broken record, with no end and no beginning.

“You should keep singing.”

Seonghwa, you should keep singing.

There was a bitter taste in his mouth.

seoul, sk 160706 5:44 p.m.

Hongjoong’s Log

Practice just ended. We all got really hungry after, so we decided to go to a nearby convenience store. We’re sitting around this small, plastic table just outside the store. Some of us are eating, the rest talking. Except for me.

Mingi’s been teasing me this whole time about bringing my notebook around. He said I’d much rather write than talk with the rest of them. He’s not wrong.

I’m kidding.

But back to the practice, we definitely made a lot more progress compared to last week. I’m not sure what caused the sudden spur of motivation, but it’s very much appreciated. We’ve all been getting along super well too. I’m glad. Things seem to be working out great for us.

“Hongjoong, stop writing and eat,” Yeosang chided, pointing to the untouched bowl of ramen with his chopsticks. There was a hum of agreement from Wooyoung, who was currently chowing down on a hot bar while Yunho vehemently wiped away the sauce on his cheek.

The others were quiet, too focused on eating to put their two cents in, but Hongjoong didn’t need them to. He tucked his pencil into the spine of his notebook and hid it away in his backpack. Mingi noticed and snickered.

“Why are you being so cautious?” he asked with a smirk. “Afraid that we’re gonna take a peek and uncover your deepest, darkest secrets or something?”

Hongjoong snorted, bringing the bowl of ramen closer and separating his chopsticks. “No, just making sure you don’t steal my plans for world domination.”

“You want to take over the world?” Yunho piped up, mid-bite.

“How do you plan on doing that?” San asked, munching on his rice snack.

“Don’t care how you do it– the world is shitty enough as it is. There’s no way you could possibly make it worse.” Jongho waved his hand dismissively, not even looking up from his bowl.

“Thanks, Jongho.” Hongjoong ruffled his hair. “Remind me to make you my right hand when the time comes.”

A chorus of complaints rang out amongst them, and he rolled his eyes, smiling. 

Hongjoong was anything but a closed book. He was very vocal about his feelings and would never turn down the opportunity to dump his cup and spill out his emotions. However, his lack of resistance to vulnerability was contingent on his willingness to trust. He was an open person, yes, but that didn’t mean he was going around telling random strangers about the deepest, darkest parts of his overworked heart.

He wasn’t quite sure what to make of this group yet. Sure, he was the one who dragged them all into...whatever it was they were doing, but Hongjoong never had the chance to really get to know each of them. In his eyes, they were all eight, vastly different people with a mutual understanding.

An understanding of what? None of them knew. 

Yet here they were, having only been a group for a week and chatting it up like they’ve been friends since birth. And in another life, another dimension– they were exactly that.

“San,” Seonghwa scolded gently. “Slow down with the soda. I promise it’s not going anywhere.”

Said male hesitated, staring at the eldest over the can held up to his lips. He grinned sheepishly and set the soda down on the table.

“How the hell are you still functioning?” Wooyoung demanded, narrowing his eyes at the other.

“What do you mean?” San’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

“Well, judging from the amount of battery acid you’ve consumed, I’m surprised you haven’t passed a kidney stone yet.”

While the others laughed at the snarky comment, San remained quiet. His brows were still scrunched together, but it was more so in thought rather than confusion. Then, he shrugged his shoulders, looking nonchalant.

“I did when I was little. Had to go to the hospital for it.”

Yeosang grimaced from across the table. “How’d that go?”

“Mmm, fine, I guess,” San said noncommittally. “Hurt like hell, but I was okay when it was over. I had to promise my parents I would drink more water though.”

“And did you?” Hongjoong leaned forward, somehow intrigued. San brought the can back up to his face, mouth quirking up into a smirk.

“Nope.”

seoul, sk 160712 5:01 p.m. 

Hongjoong’s Log

Not much progress was made today, but I can’t complain. Today was fun. Once again, none of us wanted to go home just yet, so we’re still here. Jongho brought out the guitar again, and we all sat and listened to him sing. He has a really beautiful voice, and I’m glad he shared it with us.

Last week I learned that Mingi was into rap and producing music, so he and I set up a makeshift studio in the corner of the warehouse. It wasn’t professional or glamorous by any means, but it would get the job done. 

Also, I know it’s still technically summer, but recently the days are beginning to feel shorter. I wonder if the others feel the same way. Maybe it’s just me? I don’t know.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I should probably stop here for today.

Hongjoong tossed the notebook to the side, letting it flop onto the leather couch. He glanced over to his left and noticed Yeosang sitting alone at the table, mindlessly gazing out the window. Frowning, Hongjoong stood up and made his way over to the younger, ignoring the impending sense of foreboding nestled deep in his gut. 

What he didn’t notice was the pair of narrowed eyes watching him intently from the other side of the warehouse.

“Mind if I sit here?” Hongjoong hopped up on the table, startling Yeosang when the table jerked slightly to the side. 

He peered up at Hongjoong momentarily, shaking the pieces of hair out of his face. The hand that was nestled comfortably in his lap curled up into a loose fist, fingernails just barely grazing the soft skin of his palm.

“No, I don’t mind,” he murmured quietly, turning his attention back to the window. Soft streams of sunlight penetrated the cracked glass, leaving gold patches on the concrete floor. Speckles of dust floated in the light; some drifted down, down, down until they disappeared in the absence of light, while others remained suspended in one spot, floating aimlessly in their own little world, unperturbed by actions of their surroundings.

For some reason, Yeosang felt a little envious.

“Hey Hongjoong, can I ask you a question?” 

“Yeah, what’s up?”

He curled his hand even more.

“Which one do you prefer? Night or day?”

Hongjoong paused– not because he was confused, but because he was mulling over the question. He wanted to give a proper, serious answer, and Yeosang took careful note of that.

“Mmm, probably night,” he said after a moment. “I’m a night owl, so I tend to be more productive during that time.”

It was true. Hongjoong found daytime to be more of a hustle and bustle. People were always outside; adults borderline speeding on their way to work, teenagers sprinting down the street to get to school on time, children racing through the park and tagging their friends. The air was abuzz with timeless chatter and lively debate, telling stories and revealing secrets that were clearly not meant for the ears of the innocent.

Hongjoong loved daytime, don’t get him wrong, but the night had its own unique charm. One that he had a special connection to.

A time when the streets gradually mellowed out as people settled themselves into their homes. The day star faded under the horizon, dragging the vibrant colors of the sky down with it, leaving behind a dark navy canvas, absolutely riddled with dazzling moondust. The chatter died down and the air was calm and soothing.

Hongjoong appreciated it.

“Why?” Yeosang suddenly asked, and Hongjoong was surprised to hear how tense the blond sounded. “Why do you like it so much?”

“Because it–” He stopped himself, unsure. “Promise me you won’t laugh?” 

Yeosang nodded, never breaking his composure. Hongjoong figured that was as good a confirmation as any.

“Well, I just think it’s comforting. It’s easier to let myself go, let myself feel and do whatever I want,” he breathed out a laugh. “Like– this is gonna sound super cheesy, but I feel like no matter what I do, the decisions I make, they’re going to be met with no judgement. No one’s around to witness me make an ass of myself, so who’s gonna say anything? Certainly not the stars, nor the moon.”

Yeosang’s nails dug deep into his flesh. Hongjoong kept going.

“I can fuck up all I want, but I know they’ll always be there the next night, sort of like a- a beacon of hope, I’d say.”

Yeosang, look up at the stars!

He wanted to throw up. The taste of bile was there on the tip of his tongue. He unclenched his fist and grabbed onto the edge of the table, gripping it tightly.

“Hey– whoa, are you okay?” Hongjoong suddenly leaned forward, resting his hand on the blond’s shoulder, worry laced in the tone of his words. “Yeosang? Yeosang, are you–”

“I’m fine!” he exclaimed, moving away from the other’s touch. Hongjoong instantly retracted his hand, trying not to let the hurt show on his face. He apparently must have done a terrible job because Yeosang took one look at him and sighed, combing his hands through his hair.

“Sorry, Hongjoong, I just–” He covered his face and rubbed his eyes. “I...I don’t feel well. I think I’m gonna head home.”

“O-Oh okay, do you want me to walk you to the–”

“No,” Yeosang cut him off sharply, but more gentle than before. “No, I can go by myself. Thanks for the offer, though.”

Before Hongjoong could get another word in, Yeosang was already up and out of his chair, picking up his bag from the floor and slinging it over his shoulder. He didn’t even bother to greet the others goodbye before he was slipping through the doors and out into the sunlight.

Perturbed by his friend’s capricious behavior, Hongjoong was frozen at the table. The others, who hadn’t yet noticed that one of them was missing, continued on with their jovial conversations, leaving their blue-haired companion to deal with the aftermath.

seoul, sk 160729 9:34 p.m.

Hongjoong’s Log

Yeosang came back for the first time in two weeks, but he probably regretted it. I think we all did.

Jongho and Mingi had a huge fight earlier, and Jongho ended up hurting his leg again. Mingi left after that, and the rest of us took Jongho to the hospital. Wooyoung’s been trying to get hold of Mingi for twenty minutes now, but he won’t answer.

Maybe...everything will be back to normal next week...?

seoul, sk 160805 5:29 p.m.

Hongjoong’s Log

For a place filled with memories, it’s pretty lonely in here.

[inkribbon796]

Brotherly Strife Ch. 2

Chapter 2: You’ve Been Given a Great Gift, Bim

Summary: Bim’s adventure continues and he learns that being Dark’s favorite isn’t all fun and games.

A/N: WARNING because Bim eats someone in this.

Chapters: 1, 2

Everything at the station was normal, fine. Well except for the fact his show was a full hour earlier than normal, but he tried to get over that, it was one day. It’d be fine.

Wil greeted him warmly and everyone stepped lightly around Wil’s ever-changing moods. But Bim was always aware of Dark’s aura lingering always in the background of any room Bim was in.

It was weird, but Bim felt something like pride about it. Dark never paid this much attention to him. He wondered if this was what Illinois got every day.

The show went okay, nothing went too wrong. But instead of Wil quickly sweeping him away, Dark’s portal physically moved him from the stage and dumped him into a cold office room, one that it took Bim a bit to recognize as Dark’s office in the Manor. Dark was standing there.

“A warning would have been nice,” Bim grumbled.

Dark was just staring, unblinking at him with a frigid expression on his face, “Normally I would let you go about your day, but your flagrant insistence about wasting your time has gotten on my last nerve.”

“Come on, you don’t force Illy to do this,” Bim muttered.

“I don’t keep track of what your insufferable friends do,” Dark dismissed in a terse, angry tone. “We’re continuing your lessons, now.”

“Okay,” Bim allowed, unsure what these “lessons” would be but if Illinois had ever done them then he could probably do it.

Dark seemed to lose a little bit of tension and he swept back the dark fringe of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Finally, some sense. That bastard glitch isn’t teaching you anything of merit.”

“Harsh,” Bim commented bravely.

Dark walked up and with absolutely gentleness he smoothed out Bim’s hair and suit with aura, not physically touching him but his hands moving through the motions. “You’re Wil’s heir, you deserve only the best.”

At first, Bim didn’t know what to start commenting on, but then Dark’s aura seemed to seep into his suit coat, turning it from its normal black to an inky black color.

“There,” Dark said, “that should help you start.”

Then the Entity took a step back and waited, for what Bim didn’t have the foggiest idea.

Dark just stared at him, unblinkingly.

Bim looked around, “What am I supposed to do again.”

“You are not doing this again,” Dark spat, suddenly furious. Bim flinched, feeling Dark’s aura coil around him, tightening just shy of going from uncomfortable to painful. “You are staying here until I get something out of you. You and Wil constantly insist I treat you like an adult, but the very instant I start, you complain incessantly.”

“I don’t know what you want!” Bim shouted back.

That got Dark even angrier, “You know what I want, so start taking this seriously!”

“No I don’t know,” Bim began to panic, he’d never seen Dark direct his anger towards him like this before.

It terrified him.

Dark glared at him, furious but the coiling loosened a bit. He swept his hair out of the way. “Bim I am doing this with your best interest in mind. Wil doesn’t teach, and that glitch doesn’t care. Other demons aren’t going to wait for you to gain an interest in learning magic.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Bim asked.

Something in Dark seemed to be merciful, the aura uncoiled from around Bim but lingered on his coat. Dark took a deep breath before holding up his hands and tore open a portal into the Void. “You have my aura inside you, just use it. You always go for huge holes in reality. Start small.”

Bim felt actual dread chilling his body. He’d never tried to use the Void, it always seemed like an untamed wild beast that wanted to swallow him whole. He’d only learned he had an aura after being in an aura-dampening environment.

But he held up his hand like Dark, unsure what to exactly do at first.

For the first five seconds there was nothing, Bim didn’t know what to do or say. But after a disappointed sigh from Dark, his aura creeped along Bim’s arms and he felt a tingling at his fingertips that had a weird burning effect on them.

It steadily got more painful until a deep purple, almost black, portal with flecks of pink and lavender color bleeding through.

Bim felt something in him twisting, almost hypnotizing him as he stared at it. Something trying to claw its way out of him.

But Dark closed the portal and Bim collapsed, feeling so unendingly hungry that he growled at the ground, his mind starting to cloud into the beginning stages of a frenzy. A chill starting to prickle in his chest.

Fortunately, for Bim at least, he was already hearing the choked screams of a human already bleeding and injured.

Unlike all the other times when Bim would stalk and study and enjoy himself with the thrill of the hunt he just lunged for whatever pitiful creature Dark had found for him.

Bim went for their throat, relishing in the choked screams and the blood around him.

Dark just watched calmly until Bim was done, what had once been a human being was now a mound of limbs, broken bones, and gore.

It was only once Bim was sated that he realized he was gasping for breath, as if he’d run a mile. He looked at himself in disgust as he realized his suit was ruined with blood.

“Ughh,” Bim complained.

Dark’s aura came back and Bim felt something in him that he hadn’t felt before — maybe that was his own aura — try and recoil away from Dark and lean into him at the same time.

Dark used his aura to force Bim to look up at him, “See, now was that so hard? A couple more lessons and you’ll have it.”

Run!

Bim felt like he’d been jolted by something, he was on edge, and felt like he’d been electrocuted by something. He was running and at first he didn’t know where his feet were taking him. But all too soon he ran into his bedroom and straight into the bathroom where he began throwing up into the toilet.

He felt disgusting and so different, like Dark had just uncorked some demonic genie inside of him and Bim wanted that feeling again, but it came with such an intense hunger he was afraid that he’d never be full again.

After a shower, Bim stared at himself in the fogged up mirror, glasses back on. He looked like a pale, death stricken mess. His eyes coal black.

He didn’t want to look like that, maybe if he went to bed this whole nightmare would be over. The Host said that—

Bim rushed to get dressed in his pajamas and raced for the balcony, but to his horror the house started to fold around him and he ran into the library instead. To his immediate and immense relief the Host was the room’s only occupant.

The blind seer looked in Bim’s direction as he threw the door open.

“How is Bim enjoying his time as being the Entity’s favorite?” Host had a huge smile on his face.

Bim was too worked up to realize that the Manor’s library was much bigger than he ever remembered it being and there were two whole shelves of Braille books.

“You win,” Bim told him. “You win. Just bring Illinois back.”

The Host arched an eyebrow, taking his hand off his book, Bim noticed that it was all just Braille and no words. “The Host does not recall an Illinois. Who is Bim referring to?”

“Don’t be an asshole, you know who I’m talking about, lesson learned,” Bim admitted, feeling anxious. “Just bring him back, and things can go back to normal.”

“Now why would the Host do that,” the Host chuckled darkly. “The Host had been looking for a way to get rid of Illinois for some time. Good riddance in his mind.”

“No, not funny asshole,” Bim stomped closer, panic starting to cloud up in his chest. “Bring him back, you said it wasn’t permanent.”

“Awww, you do love me,” Illinois said from directly behind Bim.

The Host broke out in laughter—

“Ha ha, shitbags,” Bim spat, Illinois was laughing too, walking over to bump his knuckles against the Host’s.

“That was so good,” Illinois laughed, the library suddenly just a bit smaller, the Braille books gone — safely back in the Host’s library in the Hero’s base. “You still got it.”

“You both are total assholes,” Bim told his older brothers.

“Consider it revenge for wishing me away,” Illinois reminded. “You’re lucky Dark won’t remember it.”

“If you want a thank you or an apology, you’re not getting it,” Bim spat, then he looked at the Host who was just watching them. Narrations under his breath and a smile in his face. “Hey Host what’s up with all the differences? Kay was still with us and he looked like a coffee addict.”

The Host stood up. “Illinois is responsible for a lot of things, the King of the Squirrels wouldn’t have a preference for tea nor would the Manor have such a big coffee mug collection if not for the Adventurer bringing them into the house.”

“Huh, he responsible for anything else?” Bim asked, his tone sour.

“With someone for the Entity to concentrate his attention on, everyone else in the Manor has less stress in their lives,” the Host explained. “And if something goes wrong Illinois has the personality to want to soften the blow for his siblings. King got to learn that there was a life outside of the Network, and Yancy was in a position to be an enforcer rather than a captain who never leaves the warehouses. Much is different, but yet some is still the same.”

“Okay, enough of stroking Ill’s ego off,” Bim rolled his eyes, pushing Illinois away from him when he tried to reach over and ruffle his hair.

Illinois chuckled, sticking his hands back into his pockets. “Hey Host, can yah do it? You didn’t answer me before Bimmy got back.”

Bim glared at Illinois when that nickname left his mouth.

“The Host is currently capable of maintaining an effect of that nature,” the Host answered.

“Yes!” Illinois cheered, moving his feet in excitement. “I owe you until the end of time, Host.”

“The Host will remember that,” Host smiled as Illinois raced out of the room in a full sprint.

“What was that about,” Bim motioned to Illinois with a thumb, his other hand on his hip.

“Illinois will tell Bim himself, probably in a day or two,” the Host evaded. “It is not the Host’s to tell.”

“Whatever,” Bim dismissed. “Cryptic fucker, don’t you have a forty-year-old man to fuck or something?”

“Bim should be careful not to insult the Host’s doctor,” the Host warned tersely.

“Hey, you’re the one sleeping with a manther not me,” Bim shrugged, checking his nails. “Not insulting him, just stating a fact that he’s old enough to be your dad.”

“Bim can either retire the topic of his own volition or he’ll find himself waking up the next day,” Host threatened.

“Okay, fine, fine,” Bim held up his hands placatingly, before realizing that the Host could see them and quickly lowered them to his side. “But can I ask you something else?”

“Bim can so long as he minds the Host’s threat,” the Host reminded.

Rolling his eyes, Bim braced a wrist on his hips, a thoughtful frown on his face that reminded the Host a fair bit of Dark. “Am I really Dark’s kid? Like physically, I mean. Obviously I’m dad’s, I look just like him, but what about the old man?”

“Bim Trimmer is the clone of Wilford Warfstache and the Entity known as Dark,” the Host answered.

“How?” Bim asked.

“The Host is this story’s narrator, not it’s writer,” the Host reminded sharply. “It is not his job to know.”

“Yeah but you have to know something,” Bim continued to inquire.

“Demons reproduce via aura, Bim Trimmer is a half to three-quarters juvenile demon,” the Host continued. “Otherwise he could not have inherited the Entity’s aura.”

“Okay, stop, ewww, if this is gonna turn into a demonic birds and the bees talk, we can stop,” Bim interrupted him. “I already got that talk, and I don’t want to know how dad and old man have sex.”

“The Host doesn’t want to have such a talk either,” the Host agreed. “The Host and Bim do not need to talk about their fathers in such a way.”

“The old man doesn’t let me call him “dad” in any language,” Bim frowned.

“That is between Bim and his father to work out,” the Host reminded. “But not tonight, Bim Trimmer is tired from his exploits and needs his rest for the next day.”

“Yeah,” Bim sighed, he was exhausted. But things were back to normal again and he needed five hundred hours of sleep. “Night Host, see you tomorrow.”

“No Bim Trimmer will not,” the Host called after him as Bim started to leave the library. “The Host does not live at the Manor anymore.”

“Right, whatever,” Bim dismissed with a wry chuckle from outside the library.

“Bim!” Host called out and fortunately he didn’t have to use his narrations to drag him back towards the door.

“Yeah? Penless Wonder?” Bim leaned his shoulder against the doorframe.

“If Bim Trimmer wishes to get away with treating the Entity like a father, he should begin doing so when he is going to quickly leave and not return for a period of time. He should be quick and persistent. It took Illinois many, many years for Illinois to get to a point where the Entity no longer reacts negatively towards being called 아빠 and Bim should expect the same.”

“Oh,” Bim commented softly. “Thanks, night.”

“The Host wishes Bim goodnight,” the Host smiled warmly.

Using his narrations, Host made sure to keep an eye on Bim as he went to his bedroom and promptly went to sleep the second he was on his bed.

Narrowly missing Dark who was walking down the hall. Reality split off from its previous trajectory and to the Host the hallway echoed with a dangerously volatile argument that would start a domino effect for Dark.

But Dark just walked in, a calm expression as he checked his watch, unaware of what he had missed. “Are you certain I cannot keep you a bit longer?”

“The Host needs to return to the heroes, the Actor gets closer and the Host would appreciate it if he doesn’t sneak amongst their ranks,” the Host denied.

Dark went tense, “You are not to even be near him, I can’t lose you as well. I would kill the heroes before I let that happen.”

“The Host is fine, the Actor is not interested in him,” the Host demanded. “The Entity is what the Actor wants.”

“Then let him come, I am ready for him,” Dark dared. “I would tear him apart.”

No the Entity will not, the Host thought sadly, thousands of different variations of their future meeting playing across his mind, all with only one victor.

“The Entity must let the Host go,” the Host managed to reply.

Dark sighed, closing his eyes as he nodded. He looked away as he opened a portal, turning his back on the blind seer.

The Host looked at the portal before using his narrations and his aura to be able to reach Dark for a hug. Dark tensed as if he’d been electrocuted at the warmth that came from the Host’s body heat.

“The Host is thankful for everything that the Entity has done for him and the Author,” Host told him. “The Entity has been a good father, and the Host doubts the Author would have lasted as long as he did if not for the Entity looking after him.”

“Don’t,” Dark sounded strangled, pointedly not looking at him.

Letting go of his father, the Host stayed by his side. “The Host means it, he only wishes that he could say so more directly.”

Dark looked at him before capturing the Host into his arms, his aura curling around the Host with feather-like gentleness. “I’d keep you all here, forever if I could,��� Dark told him.

“The Host knows,” the Host hugged him back. “Dark should be made aware that there will be a time when all of his children will live in the Manor again.”

Letting go, Dark let out a sad chuckle, “You will look after your brothers won’t you? Kay isn’t sleeping at the park in this cold of weather right?”

“The Host promises he will, and he stays at the base during the winter,” Host reported.

“Good,” Dark let out a long breath of relief. “I worry about him.”

Smiling, the Host turned, already putting one foot into the portal. “Oh and Illinois has a surprise for the Entity, he should meet him in his office.”

“Okay, goodnight Host,” Dark gave a small, fond smile as the Host went through the portal with an answering goodbye and stepped across the hero’s barrier that protected the front steps of their base.

The rip in reality winked closed and Dark looked after it for a bit before opening a small portal to check on Bim, who he saw sleeping peacefully in bed.

With a sad smile, Dark reached over with his aura to smooth over a part of Bim’s hair that had bunched up when he rolled over.

Bim grunted at the touch and his fingers twitched, but something reached out and gently nudged at Dark’s aura. It wasn’t anything enough to fully push Dark away but it was enough of a surprise for Dark to pull away. Bim had never displayed a hint of an aura to him.

Dark had taken . . . steps . . . to ensure that he wouldn’t. Bim was, by virtue of being Wil and Dark’s child, part demon. Infantile and juvenile demons without auras were ignored by other demons because they weren’t a threat. But now that Bim had enough an aura for it to manifest without him being conscious . . .

Closing up the portal Dark had to do something about this.

[yoonglie]

Double Trouble | jjk.

⤞ pairing: jungkook x reader

⤞ genre: university!au, cursed!au, tutor!au, fluff fluff, angst, smut

⤞ summary: jeon jungkook isn’t who he says he is, and all you want to do is help.

⤞ word count: 13k

⤞ warning: smut, cursing, attempted sexual harassment (not from main characters)

a/n: this is inspired by the otome Cinderella Phenomenon, which revolves around fairytale curses (10/10 would recomMend), and this tiktok by @/taestyfeed (which is REALLY hot btw). Also it’s been a while since I wrote something omg im very rusty. 

“Ugh Jimin I just don’t understand!” You dramatically threw your hands up, flinging your pen and slamming your face on the book in front of you. It was a good thing you both decided to hang out in the learning commons as opposed to the library, you were then able to groan your frustrations freely without being shushed so often. 

Jimin laughed and patted your head “What even are you studying for?”

“Art appreciation” You grumbled as you lifted your head and propped it against your palm.

Jimin laughed even harder “Isn’t that supposed to be pretty easy?” He asked.

You snorted. “It isn’t as easy as easy as I though it was.” 

“Well I’m sure you’ll get it soon. It’s getting pretty late and I’m sorry to be leaving you like this but I have to go, I fortunately don’t have any schoolwork going on and I’d rather spend the rest of my time watching netflix than listening to you groan your ass” He stuck his tongue out and you did as well.

You were thankful to have a best friend like Jimin but he really did suck sometimes. Sighing as you gave a small wave as he was nearing the exit, he sent a flying kiss your way. You just rolled your eyes. 

Okay I can do this

You cracked your knuckles in an attempt to hype yourself and got down to work, jotting down some points along the way. You didn’t realize you were so into your work that you were mumbling audibly the topic you were reviewing on. It was a voice that made you stop.

“That’s wrong” 

You look up and see a man across across the table to the left, holding a book. He has soft features and neatly swept straight hair. He looked really clean and presentable and the crisp white button up he was wearing really wrapped his whole look up. In short, he was cute... really cute. 

You didn’t notice you were slightly staring until he tilted his head, lips pressed in a thin line but with curious doe eyes. 

“Excuse me but what was wrong?” You asked. 

“It was André Derain and Henri Matisse who were the leaders of the fauvism movement” He said simply and went right back to his book. You looked your notes and he was indeed right, you wrote down wrong names. 

It was as if a light bulb shone above your head and as much as you didn’t want to do it, desperate times need... desperate measures. 

You stood up and propped your elbows on the desk. You honestly couldn’t care how stupid or desperate you looked, you needed this.

“Are you good at this subject? art appreciation?” You hurriedly said. 

The guy stared for a bit, noticeably taken aback and scratched the back of his neck “Uh, I guess?”

“Oh my god can you please please tutor me! I’ll uhh ah! I’ll tutor you too on any subject you like given that I took the class as well. Please, I’m not usually this dumb it’s just I took this class this semester thinking it was easy and did not pay attention this semester at all! I ended up flunking most my exams and I had to beg the professor not to fail me for the whole subject and so I ended up with a one-on-one presentation due in 3 weeks summarizing literally the whole semester so far! I’m at my wit’s end. Please help me” You beg, eyes even slightly watering. You weren’t usually this emotional but the stress and fatigue has definitely caught up to you.

You both were just looking at each other, you praying a silent prayer over in your mind. “Well... I am struggling with psychology a bit” He said sheepishly.

“Psychology? Great! I swear I am above average in terms of other subjects, it’s just this one subject that bit me in the ass. You don’t have to worry about me teaching you weird things.”

“It’s okay” He said.

You stuck out your hand to him “I’m Y/L/N Y/N”

He clasped his to yours a small smile gracing his face “I’m Jeon Jungkook, but please call me Kook” 

———

“Wait wait, Jungkook as in THE Jeon Jungkook” Jimin asked while you both were eating lunch at the cafeteria.

“He prefers being called Kook but yes, what about him?” You said while sipping on your favorite strawberry drink.

Jimin leans forward a bit and with a hushed voice he said “Honestly Y/N be careful, I heard some weird things about him”

“Like what?” You said in an equally hushed voice.

“Despite his quiet demeanor he’s actually a beast after night, a real party goer” He said.

You let out a breath you were holding, slightly terrified you might have had a creep as a tutor but was relieved “That’s it? I mean what’s wrong with that? Being the life of a party doesn’t mean you have to be one at uni too, must be tiring”

He placed a hand under his chin “Hmm you may be right but I don’t know man, people didn’t really word it the nicest way so...” He clapped his hand once. “That’s it. I’m gonna meet this guy and make sure he’s not some sort of perv or something” 

“I don’t need a babysitter” You said, rolling your eyes.

“Too bad, now let’s go. He might already be waiting” He pulled you up and you both went to the learning commons. True to what Jimin said he was there, with a book in hand.

“Hi I’m Park Jimin and I hope you take care of Y/-” You elbowed him in the stomach. 

“Okay you had your introductions, please leave” You push Jimin out while Kook was sitting there dumbfounded at the two of you.

“Hey I wasn’t even finishe-” 

“Out” You pushed him away.

Finally getting rid of him, you turned to Kook “I’m sorry about that”

“Seems like your boyfriend was a bit protective” He said with a shy smile.

You laughed a bit too loudly and wiped fake tears out of yours eyes “He’s not my boyfriend, he’s just an annoying little friend” 

You noticed Kook slightly perking up at that but paid no mind. 

“I see, anyway I can’t stay longer than 6pm so we better get started” He said as he started laying down learning materials for you. He came prepared as his station was littered with papers full of highlights and sticky notes. 

Kook looked up to you who was mesmerized by all the materials he had... you looked kinda cute. 

———

Kook started warming up to you three sessions in and since then you guys hit off pretty well. You realized how much of a gentleman he is, trying to explain the topics in a way that was digestible and easily remembered, knowing your time constraint. He was always motivating you and correcting you calmly even if you’ve said the wrong thing more than twice. 

“No, the Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss was by-” He started saying

“Wait wait! don’t tell me yet. It was by Johann Zoffany” You said proudly, confident that you got it right this time.

Kook chuckled slightly and you swear it was like ambrosia for your ears. “No it was by Antonio Canova” 

“Oh” You said dejectedly, sipping on your strawberry drink and propping your head up on the table while sighing. You were never good at names. 

He noticed how disappointed you looked and, throwing away all caution, reached for your free hand, squeezing it.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it” He said. You managed a weak smile.

You didn’t forget your end of the deal though. As payment for tutoring you, you were also tutoring him. He was a good student who listened intently to what you have to say, often asking relevant questions and picking up topics quickly. You really wondered why he needed help on this subject until he one day came a little late, an unusual thing for him, with a crestfallen look. Still, he tried to give you a small smile. 

You both got to the usual routine of teaching you but noticed he was a bit off so you stopped him. “Hold on” You said.

“Sorry, was I too fast? Are you not getting anything?” He asked with a confused look.

“Yeah, you, I don’t get it” You said with a concerned look. He didn’t say anything which urged you to ask “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

He leaned back on his chair and gave a deep sigh “I received my paper but I had a low mark. I thought I really did good this time. I’m sorry to disappoint you” He didn’t spare a minute telling you what was wrong. 

You placed a hand on his shoulder “Hey that’s okay, I’m not disappointed at all. I’m proud of you for doing your best” You offered a smile to which he returned.

“Thanks” He held the hand that was placed on his shoulder, sending tingles down your spine. Skinship was usual now for the two of you but you don’t seem to be getting used to it, electricity racking your body with every touch. 

“We’ll take the day off then” You said, removing your hand from him. 

“What?” He asked.

“You clearly aren’t in the mood and that’s okay! You don’t have to force yourself to do anything you know” You started “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow” He said. His heart filled with gratitude.

You both even started sitting beside each other in class, so much that your usual seat mate for the class pouts whenever they don’t get to sit beside you anymore (although not minding after a while). The same goes with Kook’s friend Taehyung. 

He arrived class early one time and spotted Kook with an empty seat beside him.

“Hey man” Taehyung was already putting his bag down when Kook blocked him.

“This seat’s taken” He quickly said, placing his own bag down.

“Since when do you reserve seats for others” Taehyung raised an eyebrow, Kook never acted like this.

“Since I realized you were too noisy” Kook rolled his eyes.

“Hey!” Taehyung pouted and got the seat in front of him instead

You got to the room and your eyes immediately tried to scan for Kook, seeing him on the side, you gave a slight wave and bounded over to him.

“Hey is this seat taken?” You asked

“Nope” He said. 

Taehyung’s ears perked at the unfamiliar female sound conversing with his friend and looked. When he spotted them having a conversation he then realized Oh I get it.

“Hey, my name’s Kim Taehyung but you can call me Tae for short. I’m Kook’s friend” He said, surprising the two of you, beaming a boxy smile with arms stretched to shake your hand. 

You shook it and smiled “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/L/N Y/N”

You, Kook and Tae became really good friends. You decided to introduce them to Jimin and he and Tae hit off really quickly, instantly becoming best friends while you and Kook, well, you don’t know how you feel about him. It’s true that you feel fluttering at the pit of your stomach whenever he touches or looks at you fondly, but you didn’t know if he felt the same so you tried suppressing the feelings. 

But it doesn’t help when he constantly makes your heart jump at every chance he gets. 

Head in between pages you groaned, not getting this bit of topic you were working on currently. Kook was very patient in trying to explain but you still weren’t get it and you were growing frustrated, especially since the presentation was nearing. 

Kook had just came back from a so called toilet break when suddenly a strawberry drink was laid in front of you.

You perked up and sipped on the drink, sighing in slight content.

“What’s this for?” You asked him, the giver of this precious gift.

You see his ears that were tinted pink as he scratched the back of his neck “Well you looked really frustrated and I wanted to give you that as some stress reliever. I noticed you keep buying the same drink and deduced it was your favorite”

“It is! Thank you, you really didn’t have to” You said, beaming and heart warming at the kind gesture. 

He dropped his shy demeanor after seeing how much you liked it and chuckled himself “Anything for you, angel”

You sputtered your drink and faced him “W-what? Angel?”

He placed a hand under his chin “Don’t like that? How about pumpkin? sweetie? munchkin?”

Your face reddened at every nickname and waved your hands in front of your face saying no the whole time

Kook laughed that beautiful laughed and pinched your cheek “I was just messing with you. Are in out of your head now? Best you get back to work”

You rubbed your sore cheek and looked down, trying to fight the grin that was itching its way to your face. 

———

“Jimin, I absolutely CANNOT go to a party” You huffed at him across the table at lunch.

“But your presentation is still next week and it’s a friday night” He said pouting.

“Exactly! All the more I should focus” You scolded.

“But it’s Seokjin who’s throwing the party, the senior, and you know his parties are the bomb” He said whilst gripping your arm and mustering the cutest puppy beg face.  

Seokjin did throw the wildest parties, you’ve seen it firsthand. You weren’t an avid party-goer like Jimin but you also didn’t avoid it, finding it fun, but you had priorities. 

“I really can’t you know” You pinched your nose bridge, slightly annoyed he wasn’t letting this go.

“Tae will be there and I bet so will Kook”

That made you stop in your tracks. You forgot about the word that got around about Kook being a nice quiet boy in school but a beast at night, the life of the party. You haven’t really asked anything related to it, too engrossed in your study, but now it piqued your interest. How different will he be from the quiet gentleman who offers you a strawberry drink because you’re stressed? How will he be dressed? Does he entertain ladies who throw themselves to him? Surely there would be a few, he is a handsome fellow. That thought made your heart twinge.

“I see that got your attention” Jimin smirked “I guess I’ll see you tonight” Flicking you in the forehead, he got all his things and headed out.

You groaned and placed your hands to your face. One little party won’t hurt

You walked to the party, Jimin in tow, with your head a little bit high. You always dolled yourself up for these kinds of events but tonight you glammed yourself extra special, not because you wanted to get a certain someone’s attention no. You were looking for a certain someone when suddenly Taehyung came into view

“Jimin! Hey Y/N you came!” Tae said, sporting his beaming smile “Jimin was dead set in trying to get you to come and I’m glad he did cause you look hot” He grabbed your hand and placed it above your head, twirling you all while you were laughing. 

It was then that you spot him. Kook was chatting with a bunch of seniors at a counter and he looks absolutely STUNNING. He was clad in all black, silver accessories adorning his ears, neck and fingers, with his hair long and wavy. He was dripping with confidence, from the way he stands to the way he talks, the people clearly interested in what he has to say. You notice upperclassmen Namjoon and Hoseok that seemed closest to him. 

It was Tae’s voice that snapped you out of your thoughts “I know you want to talk to him but it’s better that you do later on or just back in uni” He cautiously said.

Respecting his privacy and time with friends, you nodded. 

“I got the booze!” Jimin said, handing you a cup as Tae already had one. You didn’t even notice him leave.

A few drinks later, you were buzzed and confident, ready to take on whatever comes at you.... literally. You bumped into Kook and looked up at him. He tilted his head to the side in confusion but a smirk eventually etched itself to his face. Your heart started beating loudly, in rhythm with the pounding of your head.

“I see” Those were the words that he said as he left.

You blinked once then twice, hurt at the fact that he didn’t even acknowledge you. Then grabbing him by the arm, you made him face you to which earned you a glare as he ripped his arm from your grasp, looking at you disgustingly. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked. 

“You” You pointed at his face “Have been ignoring me the whole night” 

He towered over you in an attempt to make you cower in fear but it didn’t have an effect on you, annoyance fueling your system. “Ignoring you? Sweetheart I don’t even know you” The way he says your newfound nickname was sweet, sickeningly sweet that it was unlike the way he usually talks to you, with bite lacing each word. 

You backed away slightly with hurt. He doesn’t know you? Was he pretending he didn’t know you so he wasn’t going to be embarrassed in front of his friends? You honestly didn’t know why he was acting like this.

“Did you forget about my existence? Why are you acting like a dick so suddenly?” You huffed, looking away and getting more pissed at every second. Alcohol not really helping your temper.

He grabbed your chin a little too harshly and tilted it up so that your eyes would meet. He had a small smile on his face but nothing about it was sincere “I don’t know you and you don’t know me. My name’s JK, darling and I don’t owe you any explanations. Now I suggest you go and never approach me again to save yourself from being an embarrassment” He winked and backed away from you, eventually leaving. 

It’s like you’ve been doused with cold water, immediately sobering up though your head was anything but clear. You were hurt and angry and confused. Tae and Jimin found you, but you said nothing and left. 

Monday rolled around and you were actively avoiding Kook. You didn’t sit beside him in class anymore and though he was slightly sad about it, it got worse when you suddenly came up to him just before your supposed tutoring session would start.

“I’m gonna learn by myself from now on, thank you for your effort but I don’t need it anymore” You huffed and Kook became confused

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, his heart slightly twinging and hands clammy. 

“So you just suddenly remember my existence now but you’re embarrassed to be seen with me in front of your friends?” You said, lips pressed in a tight line.

You saw Kook clench his hands, his face darkening. It’s as if he remembered something horrible, but he did not say a word. You sighed and walked away. Kook didn’t know why he didn’t stop you but he was livid. It was as if his body remembers what to do in situations like these and he hated it, he hated that monster. 

You thought it would be better now that you’re ignoring each other, you could get more focus, but you were anything but focused. Kook’s strange behavior definitely plagued your mind but you weren’t going to do anything about it until he apologizes. You gave him a chance but was met with disappointment. Tae and Jimin definitely noticed the drift between the two of you, not hanging with them as often as you all did. You told them it was because you were prioritizing the presentation but saw through your bullshit excuses which caused them to pester you until you told them what happened. Tae honestly couldn’t stand the tension, wanting the best for the both of them, especially Kook. It’s been a while since Kook acted like this, and he can definitely tell he cares about her a lot. Throwing all caution aside he thought This is for the best, I’m sorry Kook.

Tae called you and Jimin at the lunch table, relieved Kook wasn’t with them “What’s this super important meeting for?” Jimin asked.

“It’s about Kook” He started, he noticed how uncomfortable you looked and continued “Just hear me out... it’s just, I can explain why he acted that way” Despite being still angry, you leaned forward in curiosity.

“He was actually born with a curse, a curse that caused him to have two alter egos, two entities, though both of them are still him. The one that fronts in the day is Kook but the one that fronts at night is JK, the one you met” Tae said. You were shocked. Two alters? That explains the rude behavior at the party. That actually wasn’t Kook.

“So the one that everyone has been calling a beast at night is actually this JK dude?” Jimin asked and Tae nodded.

“Yeah, he loves partying but I don’t like him. He’s.... a handful” 

You placed both your hands to your face “Oh my god I feel like shit. He should’ve told me!” You exasperated.

“He doesn’t wan’t a lot of people knowing his secret, both of them don’t” Tae smiled sheepishly

“Well thank you for telling me anyway. Now... do you know where he is?” You asked, determined to apologize. 

“He’s always at the learning commons after school, kind of hoping you’d come back if i’m honest” You groaned at that and headed out.

Kook sighed and looked at the clock, thinking whether he would go home or continue to wait for you, though you said you weren’t going to study with him anymore. He suddenly saw you burst through the door and he stood up, with you tackling him in a bear hug.

“I’m so so sorry Kook! Tae told me about it all and I’m so sorry” You said as you pressed your face against the crook of his neck. 

Kook’s ears burned red as your sweet smell enveloped him. Your warmth made him feel safe and though it’s only been a few days, he missed this, he missed you. He thought that this was worth Tae telling them so he wasn’t going to get mad at him.

“Hey it’s okay” Was what he said after you broke the hug and proceeded to sit down. 

"Our parents apparently angered a spirit back when my mom was pregnant but really didn't pay attention to it. When we were born they noticed something was wrong quickly and took us to get examined only to find out we were cursed. I front in the day most times, while he does at night. We can’t really be out for so long because our bodies get tired easily, leading for the other body to take over. We had a difficult childhood but eventually got into a routine. Doesn't mean I like him though, he's a real pain in the ass" Kook explained, ruffling his hair.

"Are both going to be like this forever? Can the curse be broken?" You asked with caution.

"I heard them say something along the lines of 'when the sun and moon meet' but I don't know what that means. Despite sharing the same consciousness, I don't really get to meet this guy. It's impossible" He exasperated, frustration bubbling in his gut although it went quickly as it came, already accepting this fate throughout the years. 

“Have you tried sending notes to each other?” You asked.

He hummed in agreement “Yes, voice messages too. Nothing worked”  

He sighed although he felt relieved that the secret is finally out but slightly worried what you might think of him. The worry washed away though as you reached your hand to grab his, a radiant smile he so loved along the way. Wait loved?

“Anyway!” He sprung up, clapping his hands. A twinge of pink dusted across his cheeks “We gotta get you ready for the presentation tomorrow”

“I’m fine you know-” You started.

“Nope, all focus on you now, we gotta get you ready” He said with determination.

“Alright, thank you” You chuckled and you both got started on the preparation.

You were pacing around, bouncing on your toes. Fingers quickly going through the flashcard in your hands, mumbling the topics under your breath.  

“You know you’re gonna get more nervous if you keep doing that” Tae stated but you heard nothing, fully immersed in your almost literal last minute review.

Jimin grabbed both your shoulders to make you stop “Hey, quit pacing around. You’re gonna do fine”

“I’m just so nervous Chim” You said, still slightly swaying to alleviate the uneasiness.

“We know you are babe, but if you keep doing that, you’re going to get more nervous” Jimin explained.

You took a deep breath to try to steady your heart and looked at them “Okay I’m going in. Wish me luck”

Tae and Jimin gave you a thumbs up while Kook suddenly patted your head. Leaning in close to your ear, you could feel his breath tickle your cheek. Your ears warmed and your breath hitched at your throat. “You can do it, angel” He said and pulled away.

You finished the presentation with ease. The weeks worth of tutoring with Kook definitely paid off. The professor mentioned how he will announce the fate of your grade in the following weeks so you were still slightly nervous but nonetheless, you feel a great weight being lifted off your shoulders. Because of that, you actually found yourself thinking more about Kook, with the newfound information actually sinking in. 

When the sun and moon meet you thought. The phrase repeating over and over in your mind. You felt the pain Kook went through because of mere misunderstanding and you don't want that. You want him to be happy, you want them both to be happy, even if the other him can be kind of rude. So you gathered and told them about your plan. 

“Okay okay let me get this straight, YOU want to try and break their curse by doing... exactly what??” Jimin asked, dumbfounded. They were shocked about your sudden want to help but it just made you more frustrated knowing that there was a way out and no one tried to help. 

“Well” You started "I don't know exactly what i'll do but it's better if I knew more about him first right?" You asked

"He's not really someone you'd like to know personally. Like what you experienced, he can be very overbearing and hard to deal with" Tae warned "I had some instances with the guy too and it was not pretty"

A hand gripped yours "But if it's something you'd like to do then who are we to stop you. I'm grateful that you're willing to do this for me... for us" Kook said, squeezing your hand. You smiled at him.

"Well if you wanna know his whereabouts, it's better to ask Namjoon and Hoseok" Tae said.

"The upperclassmen?" Jimin asked.

Tae nodded "Yeah, they're closest to JK and are usual party buddies. They know about the curse too. I've talked to them a couple times and they're actually pretty nice." He explained. You placed a hand under your chin and nodded as well

"Alright then, let me pay them a visit"

You bounced on your toes, pretty nervous about meeting them. You had no problem talking to upperclassmen but something about being JK's friends put you on edge, like you have to be of certain standard to them. Finally you saw them walking in the hallway, laughing. You went to them and introduced yourself.

"Hey! I'm sorry to be disturbing. My name's Y/N and I don't know if JK told you about me or not but if he did then-"

"Oh you're the girl who was clinging on to him the whole night" The guy, who you assumed was Hoseok based on the description Tae gave you, exclaimed. He had a wide grin on his face and his voice had a bubbly tone to it. Way different from what you expected from JK's friends. 

"Oh right yeah that's me" You said sheepishly, scratching your neck."Don't worry about it, it's not like you're the first to do that. We apologize on his behalf if he was being pissy about it" Namjoon said, sighing.

"Right, well, I have a favor to ask" You said to which earned you a raise of eyebrows."I know about their curse and I personally want to help. Would you be kind enough to tell me if you guys have plans and where it would be? I kind of wanna make amends and start over with him" You explained.

The two of them looked at each other in shock and to you with curiosity. A smirk etched on Namjoon's face.

"Sure" Namjoon said. They didn't hesitate to give you the address to the downtown club they were going to tonight.

"See you tonight, nice girl!" Hoseok exclaimed as he waved goodbye, a big smile still adorning his face.

Alright, I can do this.

Walking to the club they invited you tonight, you gulped. They sounded like nice people and was pretty sure they didn't send you to the wrong location but you were still kind of doubtful, looks can be deceiving anyway.  

The doubt washed away when you finally spot JK. Still in an all black ensemble, which you can only guess was his favorite shade, hair a wavy mess at the same time still look put together. You took a deep breath and bounded over to him. He caught your gaze to which he returned with a glare. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked, clearly annoyed as he crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry to be so sudden but I know about the curse" You said the last part in a volume you know he'd be the only one to hear 

"And I just want to apologize for my actions the last time we met" You said. 

His face contorts even more and you were sure he hated you right at the moment "Looks like you're here to observe me then. Is it fascinating to you, sweetheart? Finding someone like us who's so different from everyone else? Should I set you up with a private zoo show?" 

Your eyes went wide as saucers "No! no absolutely not! I just- I wanted to just introduce myself" You held a hand out for him to shake "My name's Y/L/N Y/N" You exclaimed, praying you guys wouldn't have misunderstandings anymore. You offered him a smile to show him you were sincere.

There was something about that smile. JK didn't like trusting people anymore but there was something about that smile that felt so warm and familiar. Of course she was familiar, she's probably with Kook. He got annoyed and looked away.

He avoided your gaze for a long time but noted how his features softened for a second before. He clicked his tongue, rubbing his nose bridge before leaving without saying another word. Your hand still raised in the air.

Anger bubbled but you pushed them down, taking a swig of alcohol. You sighed and began to question your decisions until two people stood in each of your side. You realized it was Namjoon and Hoseok as they offered you their glasses to clink with.

"Cheers for a rough night?" Namjoon asked and you snorted as you took another sip.

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore" You told them, dejection evident in your demeanor. 

"We're sorry that you're dealing with this but... I hope you don't give up on him easily" Hoseok pleaded "It's not everyday someone comes up to us and tells us they want to help the them" 

"Have you?" You ask them.

"We tried but he would never tell us how we could be of help. He also told us to stay away from Kook and his friends or else he wouldn't be friends with us anymore" Namjoon explained "We didn't want to lose the friendship we fought hard to build. We see how lonely he is sometimes and we didn't really want to contribute to that. Plus he's nice if he wants to" He chuckled.

Your heart twisted, guilty for even thinking of giving up. The both of them have been hurting in their own way and it's unfair to give special treatment to just one.

"Do you know where he goes when you guys don't have any party plans?" You ask with newfound determination. They felt grateful as they beamed at you."He goes to a book cafe near here. Since he doesn't go to school in the day, he misses out on the lessons. Though he still gets the information absorbed by Kook, it just isn't as sharp. He makes up for it by reading a lot" Namjoon explained and your heart swelled. 

You took a swig of your bottle and placed it down loudly on the table "Alright then" You exclaimed as you wiped a bit if liquid staining around your mouth.

"Atta girl, I guess we'll see you around then" Hoseok chuckled.

The next night you trekked to the said book cafe. It was very quaint inside, the smell of coffee that hit your nose instantly calming you. The ambience was very tranquil as soft music played in the background. You noticed how there weren't many people in the cafe so it was easy to spot him this time. He was sitting at the very far corner, a book in hand. You were amused at how he very much looks like Kook when we waits for you but you but had to remind yourself that this is a very different person. His black clothes contrasting the white that Kook loves to wear. As you came closer, the difference became more evident as his wavy hair came into view. When he looked up from his book, he grimaced.

"Okay are you fucking stalking me?" He exasperated as he nearly slammed his book down and crossed his arms, a repeat of what happened in the party. 

You stare at each other for a few uncomfortable seconds before you broke the silence 

"I really didn't expect to find you in a place like this" What?

"Oh cause you think I party every night, do drugs and bring girls home right?" His glare challenging and menacing, a look that clearly says 'get away from me'. your eyes widened as it dawned unto you what you said because truth to be told, you were kind of thinking that about him. It made you sick.

"I'm really sorry! I just want to apologize for my behavior and for um creeping you out. If you want me to stop then I will but can I at least share a bit of your time now?" You asked, pleading with your eyes. You want to be as sincere as you can to him and you really hope he'd let you in.

JK was confused. It should've been easy to to just say no. One word and she'd be on her merry way.... then why on earth was he not able to say it? fuck

"Fine, you can stay" was what he said instead. You perked up and took a seat across from him. He rolled his eyes.

"Let me introduce myself properly for the second time then. I'm y/l/n y/n and I'm Ko-"

"I know who you are. I don't know what your relationship is exactly with Kook but I know you're on his mind a lot. Are you his girlfriend or something? How did you meet?" He expected a blush or some sort of shy reaction. He knows the effect Kook had on people, he hates him but he's not ignorant. 

So he was surprised when he was met with you shaking your head instead "No and I'm not really here to talk about Kook. I'm here because... I want to be friends with you, nothing in return for me. I just want to get to know you" 

You looked serious enough that he knew you weren't kidding but he was flabbergasted. No one really wanted to know him like that. All the people he's met either wanted a trophy friend or a trophy fuck. Having a pretty well off background didn't really help. For once, he commended Kook on having such an interesting plaything.

"What's the catch?" He asked, arms still crossed.

"Catch? Nothing. I just want to get to know you so that i'll be able to help. I know how the curse can be broken and although I don't exactly know what to do, maybe I can start by being friends with you" You explained

Ah, he gets it "I see, you're doing this for your beloved Kook then" He said, suddenly taking an interest in the table. 

"I'm doing this for the both of you" You said.

Whatever, it's been a while since something spiced up his life anyway. Maybe you'll last long enough. 

"Okay" He simply said.

You were surprised "Okay? I mean alright! Okay, that's great" You chuckled in relief "I'll see you tomorrow night then?" You asked, hopeful.

"I have plans" He said and you deflated a bit. He saw and sighed. "I'm free saturday afternoon" He said after a short while.

You perked up "Oh! I didn't know you front in the day?" You tilted your head.

"Am I a vampire or something? Of course I do. I'm out during weekends" He scoffed. 

———

"I really feel like I'm getting somewhere guys!" You tell them over lunch

"That's great y/n. I hope you sort this out quickly though. Kookie here has been moping around ever since your attention has been divided" Tae playfully teased.

Kook kicked him from under the table to which Tae grunted "I do not!" He exclaimed with red cheeks. You only chuckled.

"So what are your plans then?" Jimin asked.

"Well, I did alot of thinking but I hope this really helps him" You excitedly said.

True to agreement, you and JK met up during the weekend at the same cafe, with books at hand.

"Oh sweetheart I really thought you were different but you're as boring as the others" He said, an elbow propped to the table as he lazily sipped on his iced coffee.

You tilted your head at him, still sorting the books "What do you mean?"

"I half expected you to bring me somewhere exciting but as I expected, I am disappointed" He sighed.

"Oh shut up" You said as you flicked his forehead. He jumped slightly in surprise, glaring at you.

"What's all this, a tutoring session?" He snorted.You beamed and clasped your hands together 

"Exactly" You said with a mischievous smile "I heard that you don't really grasp school concepts as vivid as Kook's so I'm here to help you" You smiled at him. 

Although he looks as stoic as ever, you knew from the slight twinge of red on his ears that you've elicited some sort of reaction from him.

He cleared his throat and crossed his arms "How do I know you're not bullshitting me? For all I know you have straight D's in your card" He said. 

You fake gasped and placed a hand to your chest "Excuse me, if you notice yourself getting better at psychology it's because of me, mister" You pointed out. 

He scoffed while absentmindedly flipping through the books you laid out in front of him. 

"Then prove it to me" He looked at you with challenge in his eyes and oh boy you were definitely gonna give it to him.

A few subjects later and JK called for a break. A sarcastic remark is dancing at the tip of your tongue but opted to let it show through your eyes instead. He rolled his as he took a sip from his iced coffee. 

"I still doubt half the things you taught me were correct" He said, playing with the rings on his fingers.

"Oh they were definitely correct" You slumped on your chair, pretty tired yourself as you sipped on your own drink.

Silence hung over the two of you and unlike earlier, it was way more comfortable and tolerable now. You were lightly tapping your fingers on the table to the rhythm of the soft music playing in the background while he was flipping through the pages of the books, not really reading the content inside. This is it, this was your chance to bond, to talk about something other than  academics. You were thinking of a question to ask... anything. Racking your brain of something to say you said "How long does it take to style your hair everyday?" You were slightly embarrassed by such a trivial question but it was better than nothing. 

He chuckled slightly, a sound you notice is darker than Kook's light airy laugh "Darling, I'm all natural" He said, a smirk etched in his face "This curse make it look like we're sharing a body but it's all different too. When I front, my hair naturally becomes wavy. When he fronts, it goes straight again. Same goes with wounds too, unless they're pretty deep. When I get a small graze, he usually doesn't get it" He explained.

"I see" You said. You get what he's talking about, that's the reason why he even looked off the minute you saw him. Not only was he not Kook, he physically isn't Kook as well. Kook has softer and rounder features while JK has the slightest edges to his face, cheeks and jawline more prominent. 

"You staring at me, sweetheart?" His smirk never fading "But I get it, must be tiring to look at someone so ugly all the time" 

You snorted "You do know you guys share most facial features right" You said.

"Oh? Then how about I let your discover what's different about our bodie-"

"Let's get back to learning shall we!" You squeaked as your cheeks reddened. He only chuckled.

You were glad you had some sort of progress with him but it slightly frustrates you that you only gathered minimal information throughout the weeks, though you've gotten more comfortable with each other now, throwing banter here and there. But it’s okay, you’ve just got to be more patient.

“Clearly my answer is correct” He argued.

You rolled your eyes “No you are most definitely wrong” crossing your arms in annoyance.

“Okay i’ll gather people who will support my claim then” He huffed.

“Do you realize you talk too much?” You squinted at him, more annoyed now.

“And do you realize you’re being a big prissy?” He countered.

“Am not!” You exclaimed. If you can drill holes with your stare then you would have by now

“Okay then, if you’re right you can ask me to buy anything for you” He offered

“And if you’re right?” You asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

He tapped a finger under his chin as if to think “How about I get one date with you” He said with confidence and your cheeks flared up.

“Absolutely not!” You exasperated, hurriedly cleaning up the materials laid out on the desk. 

“Why? scared i’ll be right?” He chortled while sticking out his tongue. You flicked him on the way out.

He was way more stubborn than Kook that’s for sure, always questioning and challenging you. Despite all that, he is very bright. He picks up topics as easily as he could challenge you, which doesn’t come as a surprise as you can tell he’s an avid reader. When you both started warming up to each other was when you notice how much of a nice person he is behind the hard exterior.

He placed a strawberry drink in front of you. You felt the strongest deja vu and realized Kook did the same thing for you. 

You looked at the drink fondly and then up at him. “What? Kook did the same for you too huh?” He huffed and sat down, looking the slightest bit dejected. He absolutely saw through you.

You then realized how much you were thinking about Kook and it felt unfair. Maybe it’s because you feel a slight swarm in your stomach ready to flutter whenever JK calls you that nickname that used to disgust you but now have grown accustomed to it, or the way his eyes bore into yours, a slight smirk on his lips whenever you explain a topic thoroughly to which he calls you a nerd afterwards. Maybe it’s because he’s been endearing lately and you don’t want to have to choose, opting to direct all your feelings to Kook instead. But that seemed wrong. 

Shaking your head out of the trance, you offered a small smile to him “No he didn’t, thank you” You lied.

He didn’t say anything afterwards and that prompted you to slip a small tease “I didn’t know you can be so nice” You said, sipping on your drink, waiting for a response.

“Oh darling I can be bad, if you’d let me show you” He said in a sultry voice, wiggling his eyebrows. You only rolled your eyes and smacked him slightly on his arm.

———

You were checking your emails until you stumbled upon an email from your art professor. Your heart started beating loudly. You completely forgot about the announcement. Your cursor hovered over the email, silently praying for a passing grade.

Please please please

The word passed came out in bold and you squealed. All the hard work with Kook did not go to waste and you were extremely elated. You checked your clock which read 8:43. Kook must be gone by now and you’d have to wait until next week to tell him, but you were impatient. Getting dressed, you went out in search for JK. 

Opening the doors to the book cafe you’ve gotten used to, you spotted JK in his usual corner, your usual corner now as well. 

“Well you’re early. I thought we wouldn’t have another session till tomorrow” He said, confused.

“I passed art appreciation oh my god!” You squeaked excitedly, bouncing on your toes. 

“Isn’t that shit easy?” He asked, tilting his head. 

Your cheeks puffed as you pouted “Hey! I was having a hard time okay” You crossed your arms “Anyway, can I borrow Kook tomorrow? I promise we’ll get right back next week. I just need to thank him for helping me out on this one” You explained.

JK’s face darkened “Why? You see him nearly everyday and you’re gonna start seeing him on weekends too?” 

You were surprised at the sudden bite that laced his words “It’s only for a day plus I don’t get to see him the way I do with you in uni” You explained.

“Fine whatever” was what he said before going back to the book that he was reading. He doesn’t care- he shouldn’t care.

Shrugging your shoulders, you walked out of the cafe, excitement filling you up again. What you didn’t notice was JK staring at you, a big frown on his face, as you left. 

The next day, you invited Kook over at your apartment, delicious food ready on the table. You only ever had Jimin at your place before and although you should feel nervous, you were quite calm. 

“What’s the celebration for?” Kook asked, eyeing the food

“Well” You started “I passed art appreciation!” You announced, a big smile on your face.

His eyes widened as his face broke into a grin as well. He suddenly tackled you in a big hug and spun you around, the both of you laughing. “I knew you can do it, angel! I’m really proud of you” He said as he set you down. 

Red dusted both of your cheeks at the contact and you dragged him over to the living room “I know it’s not much but I wanna thank you for the help by treating you to good food and a good movie marathon” You sheepishly said, not making eye contact.

He placed a hand to your shoulder “It’s amazing, Y/N. I love it” He truly was grateful.

A full tummy and a few movies later you were both knocked out, not really paying attention to the movie anymore, though it was still playing. It was getting dark meaning Kook would probably have to leave as JK would front sooner or later, probably still annoyed he didn’t get to front in the day when it was the weekend. You didn’t want him to go though.

“I have a question” You said lazily. He hummed in acknowledgement as you continued “Do you guys share memories?” You asked.

 “Sometimes we do, only in fragments though. We mostly share emotions, usually only when they’re strong. Other than that, I completely do not know what is happening in that guy’s life” He explained.

You nodded as you understood and yawned. You scooted closer to him, finding solace in his warmth and he welcomed you, placing his arms around your shoulder to pull you closer. You placed your head on his chest and let the steady thump of his heartbeat calm you. 

Kook felt like he was gonna combust, with you all curled up against him, your warmth filling his senses, he didn’t know how to think. He watched as your body slightly rose and fell from breathing and mimicked the tempo. He subconsciously ran his hand through your hair to which earned him a small moan, almost inaudible but it still reached his ears. He stopped in his tracks.

“Y/N” He said in a small voice. You looked up and was met with an unreadable expression.

Placing a gentle hand at the back of your neck, he pressed his forehead against yours. You both were staring at each other, not moving as to not break the trance. Slowly, he placed his lips on yours in a feather-like kiss. Seeing how you didn’t feel repulsed by the action prompted him to land his lips on yours again. Your hands reached for his hair to deepen the kiss as his other hand roamed your back, tingles running down your spine with each touch. But before anything can get truly heated, he pulled away.

“I better get going, JK is going to kill me for being out too much” Kook said in almost a whisper of a voice. He chuckled when he saw you pouting and placed a hand on your cheek. “I’ll see you soon, angel” He said as he leaned forward to press his lips against the other cheek. 

You couldn’t really sleep that night. The kiss with Kook still replaying on your mind. Your thoughts drifted to JK, when the erratic beating of your heart calmed down, and you somehow got anxious about the thought of meeting him. Would he get mad you spent the weekend with Kook instead of him? He probably is.

You didn’t have to think too hard because you were tapping your fingers on the table of your usual spot, JK nowhere in sight. It was already dark and you’d hoped for too long he was only running late but no- he totally stood you up. Getting irked, you gathered your things and went out the door. You were standing outside the cafe when you thought about what you should do. Should you just go home or find him? One thing you absolutely hated was getting stood up and your anger would probably dissipate by the time next weekend rolls around so why not just release out now? 

Fishing for the phone in your pocket, you silently thank yourself for getting Namjoon’s number. You texted if he knew where JK was and rang him once to alert him. You were getting more impatient by the minute. Fortunately Namjoon texted back fairly quickly, giving you the address of the club they were in. 

“That little shit” You said to yourself as you stormed to where they would be in a fit of rage.

Coming to a club wearing casual clothes and a tote bag full of books didn’t really help blend you in. You were a goldfish in a school of betta fishes. The initial adrenaline was starting to come down as you were frantically looking for familiar faces. This club was more packed than the ones you go to and it was getting harder to breathe by the minute, the stench of alcohol and drugs making your head hurt. You were starting to notice the stares you got from people as you occasionally bump into one and you were getting more insecure. The blaring music and flashing lights made your head pound even more. You were trying to find the phone you slipped in your bag when you suddenly felt it... a hand on your ass.

Flicking your head to where the hand was coming from, you were met with a very intoxicated man, eyes roaming your body. You pushed his hand away, quaking in fear but he only grabbed your wrist.

“Let me go” You pleaded as you struggled out of his grasp. 

The hand was quickly ripped off when an arm snaked around your waist to push you behind their back.Your whole body trembled but you got the courage to look up to find out who your savior was.

JK’s eyes were filled with absolute fury as he was sizing up the guy “She said let go” He said through gritted teeth.

The man scoffs. “Your bitch has some nerve going here” He mocked.

Something snaps in JK as he lands the first punch square to his nose. The guy stumbles backward, holding his face. He spits blood as he threw a punch to JK as well, the rings he was wearing scratching his face. Soon enough it became a full on brawl, punches and kicks thrown everywhere as they moved around, occasionally breaking something along the way. The bouncers finally came and pulled them off each other, hauling them by the collar of their shirts outside. Someone tapped your shoulder and you flinched.

“Sorry” A voice you recognize as Hoseok rang through your eyes as relief washed over your body. You looked at both Hoseok and Namjoon with concern as JK was still being escorted out.

“Take care of him will you?” Namjoon asked as you nodded, still not finding the strength to speak after what happened.

You followed JK out the door and found him wiping the blood off of his cheek, anger still littered his eyes. He was avoiding your gaze but looked when you softly held his hand. 

“You... come on” You dragged him until you reached your apartment, not uttering a word the whole way.

You were met with the dark empty space, JK still silent as he took in his surroundings, occasionally wiping the blood off his face. You took him to the bathroom and made him sit on the toilet while you find a first aid kit.

“I’ll be right back” You told him. He only looked at you with a blank face but his eyes trailed over to you as you went away. 

When you got back, a wet towel in hand, you loomed over him to get a better look. He had a busted lip and gashes from where the rings hit his cheek, thankful that it wasn’t deep enough that it would need stitches. You gently placed a hand under his chin to tilt his face slightly as you started dabbing the wet cloth over his wounds. His eyes bore into yours as he sported a pained look

“Suck it up you big baby, that’s what you get for picking a fight” You scolded, as you continued to wipe the blood off his face and treating the wounds with antiseptic.

“A thank you would be nice you know” He croaked, now averting his eyes from your gaze.

You stopped whatever you were doing and looked at him. “Thank you, but I’m still mad at you for standing me up today” You said as you starting dabbing on his face again, this time on the corner of his mouth. “God Kook’s going to kill you for messing up your faces”

He grabbed your wrist and placed it down, making you drop the towel in your hand. “Can you for one second shut up about Kook”

He stood up and snaked an arm around your waist as the other laid at the back of your neck. He pinned you against the tiled wall as he slammed his lips against yours. Your cheeks flared up as you subconsciously raised a hand to his head and fisted his hair, to which elicited a groan from him. The hand on your waist was strong as he gripped you hard, a bruise sure to mark wherever his hand touched, but you didn’t mind. He moved back as he sat on the toilet, you being brought along with him all while not breaking the heated kiss. His hands roamed up and down your body as you were basically straddling him, trailing his kisses down south to your neck. You moaned and shifted your weight to a better position but soon realized the effect it had on him, a growing tent from right under your core. He kissed you back on the lips before pulling back, the both of you breathing heavily. 

He was still dangerously close to your face, his breath tickling your cheeks. “Do you know how annoying it is to have Kook’s pesky feelings practically take over mine too? You both are annoying little shits” 

Your eyes widened as you hurriedly got off of him. He dusted himself off before making his way out of the bathroom. Noticing your balcony, he wasted no time going there, needing a breather.

You pressed your back against the wall as you put a hand over your chest, feeling the heavy thumping of your heart. You were still breathing heavily as you tried to process what just happened. You felt slightly guilty for being unfair to Kook but you both haven’t talked about the kiss after it happened so it wasn’t like you were his girlfriend. Meanwhile, JK’s touches were like fire. You note the growing wetness on your core thinking about how he slid his hands up and down your thigh, coming dangerously close every time he slid it up. You shook your head in an attempt to rid yourself from such thoughts.

You figured he needed to cool and down and you gave him just that. Taking a break yourself, you finally calmed down. You took a water bottle from the fridge and headed to the balcony. You saw him looking at the view, moon illuminating his features as both his elbows were propped up on the railing, despite his slightly messed up face, he was gorgeous. 

Oddly calm and unembarrassed despite what transpired moments ago, you tapped the water bottle on his arm. “Here” You said as he took the bottle and had a sip. You both were just looking at the view, not speaking a word until you decided to break the silence “Can I ask?” You said.

He looked at you from the side, eyebrow arching but nodded which prompted you to continue “Why do you hate Kook so much?” You asked.

He turned over to you and gave a deep sigh. He stared at you in silence for a few seconds before speaking. “I had to hide because of him. I was always pretty mischievous and I guess my parents wanted a prim and proper child- an obedient one. Kook was everything I’m not” He looked at his shoes, pain evident in his eyes “They thought I was a menace to Kook’s perfect life and treated me as if I wasn’t their child. I was forced to stay in the dark, literally, ever since I was a kid. It was so fucking lonely, Y/N. Everyone was either tired or asleep at night, I had no one to play with or talk to. When I got a bit older, I found out about clubs that were open all through the night and basically got addicted to partying since then” He said, raw emotion dripping in his voice. 

“Not to be rude but, were you not physically able to front at daytime?” You cautiously asked.

“I wanted to impress my parents. I wanted to prove to them that I can be as obedient as anyone else, so when they told me to only come out at night, I followed. After a while it basically became a routine, so much that my body just naturally comes out at night and was tired in the early morning. Because of that, I never really got to bond with my parents, and they never really got to know me” He sighed before he furrowed his eyebrows in anger, hands clasped in fists. “I fucking hate Kook”

You reached out for his first and uncurled it, lacing your fingers around it instead. “You’re strong for being able to withstand all that” You said as you cupped his cheek, his expression softening at your touch. “I’m here if you need me” You told him. He offered you the smallest of smiles as you pulled away. 

“I gotta go” He said as the both of you made your way to the door. He was about to go before he stopped in his tracks. He swiveled around to face you before placing a hand behind your head and pulling you in for another kiss, his teeth catching your bottom lip in a small bite “I’m sorry I stood you up, sweetheart” He said, the sickeningly sweet tone back again as he closed the door. Your heart was pounding again as thoughts danced around in your head.

Ugh I need sleep

But you couldn’t sleep. You thought about JK and what he had to go through and figured that it’s best to let Kook know about this, maybe it’s a step closer to breaking the curse. Filled with determination, you finally let sleep take over you.

———

You examined the bruises he left on on your hip, frowning as you traced the deep purple marks. You got dressed and set out to look for Kook.

He met you in the learning commons, fond memories lacing this place. There weren’t many people here yet, which you thought was perfect. Kook finally arrived at he set his things down and sat beside you.

“So what did you want to talk about?” He asked, head tilted to the side.

“Well” You started, fidgeting your thumbs. Taking a deep breath, you looked at him “So I had a talk with JK lately”

Kook’s eyebrows furrowed “And?” He edged you on.

You explained what went on in his life, particularly his childhood. You told him how he felt lonely and sad and that he was mistreated by their parents. Kook seemed to understand as he was nodding but he wasn’t looking at you with gleeful eyes anymore. Instead, he had a blank expression on his face, his eyes completely lifeless as he listened to you speak. For a moment you thought it was JK who you were talking to until you took in his appearance again. No this is definitely Kook.

“So I just think... that you should go easy on him. Yes you’ve been hurt but so is he. It would be better if you’d understood each other’s pains” You explained.

Then, something else burned in his eyes, it was something you were completely not used to, something menacing. He slumped back on his chair, arms crossed and you gulped.

“And what about my pain? Do you know anything of it?” He said, sporting the blank look that hid the pain his voice was threatening to spill. “I was dubbed a monster at night and did I want that? I wasn’t able to make friends properly because of that you know” He then leaned forward, elbows propped up on his thighs. “I tried to help him, I left notes, messages, anything. I wanted to let him in the daylight for once, but he didn’t listen and even flat out refused saying that he liked his nightlife. I believed him.” He sat up straight now, his eyes burning with anger “And what did he do? Toy with my life. He sabotaged all of my relationships and that fucker had the nerve to be happy with my frustrations. My friends hated me and as much as I wanted to apologize, what can I say? That it wasn’t me who told them all those things? They’d think i’m either an amnesiac or a psycho. He even tried to ruin my relationship with Taehyung, thankfully he figured out something was wrong and asked me personally, so I told him the truth. He’s been the only friend I had ever since... all because of who? Because of your precious JK. Just wait, when he’s completely obliterated whatever we have, he’ll stop toying around with you too.” He spat out, disgust evident in his face.

He quickly gathered his things and left you dumbfounded. You didn’t notice the tears pooled around your eyes and how much you were holding your breath. Your chest started to hurt at the revelation as you were feeling torn, completely emotionally drained. You slumped back to your seat as you thought about what to do. Now that you heard both their sides, it was best that they knew about it all. So once again, you waited until sundown to talk to JK.

You dragged yourself to the cafe, completely worn out at this point. You spotted JK at the usual spot and ushered for him to talk to you outside. 

“Miss me already, sweetheart?” He smirked and you only sighed.

“Why did you do that?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. You were completely done tiptoeing around.

“Do what?” He asked, mirroring your growing frustration. He was always ill tempered.

“Sabotage Kook’s relationships? He wanted to help but you kept refusing him?” You said, your voice slightly raising.

“Help? From him?” He scoffed “Why would I need help from the one who’s ruined it all?”

“How about you just try to work with your problems rather than avoid it completely? Ruining people’s relationships is a completely immature way of handling this situation” You scolded. You were both sizing each other up, the other not backing down. 

“Oh I see, you just love to side with Kook huh? It’s okay, everyone does. I will always just be in the backseat worshipping the feet of the holy other me” He said in a mocking tone, pacing side to side.

You were getting angrier by the minute, cartoon smoke probably coming out of your ears by now “I’m not siding with anyone! God!” You shouted, raising your hand in the air in frustration “You know what, I’m done. I’m done being the both of you guys’s emotional punching bag. I only tried to help but you both think I’m siding with the other” You placed a hand on your forehead, mock laughing “Ha, and to think we actually had something going on. You were probably going to discard me after you’re done playing with another one of Kook’s relationships right?” You asked him, menace in your eyes. “Am I wrong?” 

He only stared at you, expression growing softer but you were only hurt by his response, or lack thereof.

“Thought so” You said. “You probably haven’t gotten rid of me yet because apparently Kook’s feelings latched unto you. That was the only reason you liked me anyways” 

“No that’s not it” He reached out for you but you only backed away “It’s true that his feelings somewhat caught unto mine but it was strengthened by me. My feelings for you are purely mine and they are genuine” He pleaded.

You came up close to his face, eyes squinting “You know what?” You started “I don’t care. I’m tired. Tell Kook I don’t want to see the both of you until you settled matters in your own hands” You said walked away, leaving him dumbfounded and frustrated. 

Your tears completely spilled all over once you hit your mattress. You were oh so tired. Your hand found your phone, dialing Jimin’s number. After a few rings he picked up.

“Y/N? Where are you? Is something wrong” He asked from the other line.

You were ugly sobbing as you spoke to the phone “I-I’m home but J-Jimin can you come o-over? I need someone” 

“I’ll be right there, Y/N”  

You spent the night bawling to Jimin about how emotionally tired you are whilst eating takeout and playing movies in the background, a common instance for the both of you when one is feeling a bit let down. People have always asked when you were going to date but you never thought of each other that way. He’s always been like a brother to you and you were thankful for the friendship.

He was stroking your hair while you continued to rack sobs, calming down with every second. “You’ve always been such a compassionate soul but you got to take care of yourself too” Jimin said as he lifted your chin up “You’re not obligated to fix anyone. If you’ve done all that you think you can then that’s as far as you can go, at least you’ve done your part" He wiped the remaining tears away from your face. “It doesn’t make you a bad person if you’re unable help everyone because you’re emotionally unavailable, always remember that”

You sniffed and hugged him tightly “Oh what am I going to do without you?” 

“Probably wallow in more boy drama” He jokingly said. “Chin up, they’ll come around when they’re ready”

“Yeah” You said with a small smile, your heart less turbulent now. 

As per your wish, the both of them ignored you throughout uni and in the weekends. You had to admit that it was a bit boring not having them in your life, completely not used to their lack of presence but Jimin and Tae made up for it, Namjoon and Hoseok also coming to hang out with you guys more. 

“You know Kook is very beat about all this” Tae mentioned one time at the lunch table.

“Yeah JK too, he’s absolutely devastated” Hoseok added. “You really had them both wrapped around your finger” He joked as he took a bite out of his sandwich. 

“Guys I really don’t wanna hear about the both of them right now” You said, rubbing your temple. They both squeaked apologies as you all continued eating. 

Slowly, your energy was coming back. You refreshed yourself with friendship and knowledge, often coming to the library to read for leisure with Namjoon when you found out about his extensive knowledge in books. You also hung out with Hoseok in the uni’s dance room, always dragging you along to one of his dance practices for what he claimed as needing moral support. He also introduced you to his friend Yoongi who sometimes makes the music he dances to. But it was Jimin and Taehyung who was with you the most, gluing themselves to your hip. You didn’t really mind, they were like peas in a pod and being with them is entertaining. They often came by your apartment, bringing various food and games to play with. 

“You know you guys don’t have to come here every time, it’s not like I went through a massive breakup” You roll your eyes at them as they set down large tubs of ice cream on your kitchen counter

“You might as well have, with the way you cried over them” Jimin snickered.

“Hey!” You smacked his arm, puffing your cheeks.

“We get to help a friend out as well as have an excuse to eat all this junk. I’d say it’s a win win” Tae said as he slung an arm around your shoulders, laughing. You laughed with them, thankful.

They left earlier than they usually do and you were sat alone eating the tub of ice cream in your living room, watching whatever. You suddenly heard a knock on your door as you set the food down to check whoever it was. 

You were shocked as you opened the door, your mouth agape as you took in his appearance. “Kook? err JK?” You said hesitantly, completely not distinguishing who it was. He held out the flowers he brought to you as you took it in your hands. 

He smiled sheepishly, red dusting his cheeks “I’m both of them now” He said and your eyes widened. That is why you couldn’t tell them apart. His hair wasn’t pin straight like Kook’s nor as wavy as JK’s. His expression also isn’t as soft nor as cold. 

 “And I want to apologize for what I did, I’m truly sorry Y/N. We finally had something in common that we were willing to compromise for and that’s you” He stepped forward and tentatively reached out to cup my cheek. When he realized that his action didn’t make you uncomfortable, he continued “We couldn’t risk losing you and that anchored us more to each other until we just fully fused. I have both their memories but I want us to start over so we can make fresh memories together, me being one entity this time” He chuckled softly. “Thank you for breaking the curse” 

Your heart jumped out of your chest as you pulled him in your apartment. You truly missed him. You set the flowers down as you jumped up to wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. “I forgive you and I’m sorry too” You nuzzled your head closer to the crook of his neck.

He cradled your face when you both pulled away, but still staying as close. “Now we can truly start over” He smiled.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt as you pressed your lips against him in an instant heated makeout. His hand found your hips as he gripped you closer to him “Well this is not what I had in mind but I’m definitely not complaining” He smirked.

You rolled your eyes as you found his lips again, taking his jacket off in the process. You dragged him to the bedroom, kicking off his shoes and taking your shirt off. His touches were like fire as his hands roamed your back, coming dangerously close to the clasp of your bra. He suddenly gripped the back of your thighs as he hoisted you up. Wrapping your legs around his waist you felt something hard pressed against your core. You grinded against him as he grunted against your mouth, biting your lower lip. 

“You naughty girl” His voice was dark and sultry and it shot through your sex, wetness growing by the minute. He threw you on your bed as he climbed on top of you, nearly straddling your waist. He took his shirt off and you took in his appearance. He was very toned, abs lining up his stomach as you gently traced over it. “Like what you see?” He teased.

He started peppering kisses all over your neck as he gripped your thigh, occasionally sliding his hand up your shorts which gave you shivers as you moaned. He brought his kisses lower, stopping at the crevice between your breast as brought his hand under you to unclasp your bra, biting it with his teeth to take it off you. He looked at you hungrily, you looked like sex on a platter.

You blushed under his intense gaze and looked away. He noticed your shyness and his expression softened as he kissed your forehead “You’re beautiful, princess” He said. “We can stop whenever you want, just say the word” 

You shook your head “No, it’s okay. Also i’m on birth control” You said as he peppered kisses all over your face.

“Then... would you let me make you feel good, princess?” He asked and you shyly nodded. 

His expression then changed into that of a big bad wolf “Don’t worry, princess you’re in good hands” You were surprised at how a simple nickname can change from something sweet to dirty in a second but you weren’t complaining.

He took your right breast in his mouth, sucking on your nipple. You arched back in pleasure as he did the same with your left. He then kissed your abdomen until he reached the waistband of your shorts. Pulling both your shorts and underwear off, you were left naked underneath him.

He licked his lips as he started sucking on your core “Hahh- keep doing that, ugh” You moaned as he kept lapping at your clit. The sounds you were making didn’t help the growing tent in his pants as he kept sucking and roaming your thighs with his hands. 

“I-I I’m gonna” You said, rolling your head back as you fisted his hair. Just when you were going to climax, he pulled his mouth away from you in a smirk “Don’t think i’m going to let you off that easy, princess” He said as he took his pants and underwear off.

He was big, really big. Veiny and thick and you just couldn’t wait. You sat up and pushed him back, making him sit. You got on all fours, taking him in your hands as he moaned. He was already really hard and you gave him a few good pumps before putting his aching cock in your mouth. His head rolled back as he breathed heavily “Fuck, Y/N” 

Satisfied by his sounds, you bobbed your head up and down faster, his hands gripping the sheets tightly. Before he could cum, you removed yourself from him and wiped your mouth. You straddled him and aligned his cock to your core as you slid down. “Hahhh, oh god” You said in pleasure.

He gripped your ass and guided your bounce on his dick. “Fuck you feel so good baby, wrapped around me like that” Your eyes rolled back in pleasure as he was deep into you, the sound of skin slapping and moaning filling the room. 

He the lifted you up and laid you down, still inside you, as he placed your legs over his shoulders. With a smirk he then pounded into you, taking in the bouncing of your breasts. 

“Oh god oh god don’t stop oh fuck. Just cum inside me” You moaned as your core tightened, reaching your climax. A few more thrusts and his movements started staggering, soon he reached his high as well, completely stopping as he spilled inside you. Pulling out, he grabbed the tissue you kept on your desk as he cleaned the juices that were leaking out of you. 

He then came up and placed a tender kiss to your lips as he stroked your hair “You did great, princess. You were so good” He said sweetly.

He spent the night at your place, completely tired. When morning came you were the first to wake. You trace his features and took in the difference. His features weren’t as soft but weren’t as sharp as well, it was a good balance. You also note how he was both sweet and cocky last night, his performance smack right in the middle. Gliding your hands over his jaw, his nose and lastly his lips, he suddenly opened his eyes. 

“Are you observing me?” He asked sleepily. You giggled at his cute demeanor as placed your head on his bare chest, the both of you not having strength to put clothes back on last night. 

You tilted your head back up to look at him “I just realized” You started.

He cocked his head to the side as he brushed a hair out of your face “Realize what?”

“What should I call you now?” You asked.

“Jungkook” He said as he placed a tender kiss on your lips.

[clairecrive]

Saw your post about Tommy Conlon! What about Tommy x reader about how Tommy feels around a woman that loves him after everything that happened to him? Maybe reader is a kinda shy too? Or maybe smth about how they start dating? I'm just so soft for Tommy omg

Omg yes. Hi, anon! First of all, thank you so much for your request. Second of all, I totally am too, he deserves to be smothered with love. Period. 

Tbh, when I try to imagine something about him and a potential love interest I feel like it would take ages to even talk to him, let alone let him open up to someone. I think it would be a long process, but tbh my mind has been filled with ideas since I saw your ask and I’m dying to give it a try. However, this is the first time that I write about Tommy so pls bear with me.

I’m totally going to do one about how he deals with the reader’s presence in his life and her affection for him even in his toughest moment(maybe she’s there during Sparta or they meet afterwards? don’t know yet), so let’s consider this one as a prequel for that. Just to understand the context.

(continues under the cut) 

When anyone referred to the “American Dream” no one’s mind imagined them in Pittsburgh. That’s a fact.

But what point is there to dream about the “Big Apple” or the sunny L.A. when you couldn’t afford it? Pittsburgh was the only option given that a part of your family lived here and deeply you were grateful for the opportunity of leaving “il bel paese” for a while. 

Although it was hard to start fresh in a place where you didn’t know anyone, you actually found out soon enough that the total anonymity that came with moving to a new place suited you quite well. After the first few months spent on enrolling into looking for a job that matched your qualifications and eventually settling for a job that paid the bills when you didn’t find any, you had mastered a beautiful routine.

You would get up bright and early no matter how much you wanted to sleep ‘till the end of times, after a quick breakfast you would head to the local library. When you didn’t have a shift you would still go just to set in a secluded corner of the library and read for a few hours. 

Then around lunchtime, you would bring food for you and your cousin that worked in a gym near the library. James, your cousin, is a personal trainer. Sometimes he would also coach some guys for MMA fights and work as a secretary in the spare time. Since I’ve moved here though, he offered to speak with his boss for the secretary place and thanks to James now I have also a job as a secretary.

To be honest, working in a gym attended only by guys, wasn’t as bad as you thought. They didn’t pay you much attention, other than a few words when they came in or left and some brave ones that tried to hit on you. Maybe it was because you were James’ little cousin, you weren’t sure. In any case, you were fine just being invisible.

Afternoons there were actually quite boring and uneventful, so you would usually look for jobs or read whatever book you had picked up at the library. The last one you were reading was actually so interesting and captivating that you couldn’t keep your eyes off the pages even when you were walking. 

You knew the road from the library to the gym by heart by now and it was all walking area, so no risk of being put under a car, fortunately.

So that’s exactly what you were doing when you met him the first time: nose buried in the pages of the book not really paying attention to your surroundings. If your calculations were correct you were almost outside of the gym. It turned out that you were almost correct and a door in your face told you that you were in fact right outside the gym.

Needless to say, the impact made your book violently hit your face making you lose your balance and almost hit the floor. Yes, almost, because Tommy’s hands prevented you from making a fool of yourself. Well at that time you didn’t know his name was Tommy, to be honest.

“You should be more about where you’re going.” His voice was almost rude like you had made him do something that he would rather avoid. Of course, at that moment your shyness only allowed you to mutter an apology and blush from the embarrassment. And that’s what you did before quickly making your way into the gym where your cousin was waiting for you.

It wasn’t that Tommy was rude, he was just really introverted and didn’t like talking to people. A trait you had in common, you would soon find out. He was actually very well-mannered and he probably had realized that the way he had spoken to you could have made him come across as someone that he wasn’t. While he usually didn’t care about other people’s perception of him, he still thought he was in the wrong.

Mind you, he didn’t apologize. Not openly at least. The next time you saw him walking into the gym, he acknowledged your presence with a tilt of his head. It wasn’t much, for some people it could actually be seen as rude but it was the first time he “reached out to you” and you appreciated it. Besides, it was just the way he was.

So that’s the way your interactions went, on good days be would occasionally smile at you and when your shyness wasn’t getting the best of you, you actually managed to smile back. Until one day everything changed. You had to walk where the rings were to talk to James and since you’ve looked at his schedule, you knew he was coaching Tommy. You had heard something about a big tournament coming up of which you did know much but you had noticed the hype that had been in the air since then.

True to yourself, you weren’t looking around you. Your eyes were fixed on the piece of paper in your hands where you had written the client’s requests, rehearsing what you were going to say when a loud noise of a crowd cheering and punches made you look up. 

There it was, Tommy and Maddog fighting in the right. Well, it was more like Tommy that was beating the shit out of Maddog than a proper fight. 

You were relatively new to violence, so the sight shocked you. Of course, working in a gym you would hear people throwing punches and whatnot but it was different than actually witnessing it with your eyes. Besides, the feral fury with which Tommy was kicking and punching him actually scared you. 

How was he capable of such violence? Was he really that evil? Or was it just a cathartic release of unprocessed anger and hurt? 

You didn’t know his story so you didn’t want to be unfair and judge him but you would be lying if you said that you didn’t shiver and hurried to get out of his way when he stormed off the ring.

Did you actually think he could hurt you? No, but that level of anger buckled up in a young man’s body was not healthy nor safe. And you heard the news so you wouldn’t risk it. 

At that moment you didn’t think that he noticed your fear, being too hyped up for the fight. But that was something that you didn’t know about him and that you would soon start to love: Tommy was always very mindful of his surroundings and the people around him. So yes, he did notice the way you shivered in fear and the sight actually upset him. Thinking that he could be the reason for a woman’s fear just like his father was his mother’s. 

Again, he tried to make it better. Or at least started to think about a way to. 

One night, James had asked you the favour of closing up in his place. He had told you something about a girl and knowing that you certainly didn’t have any plans you agreed. Although, the moment you noticed that the only one left waa Tommy you started to regret ever saying yes. 

Again, he noticed the way you carefully approached him and he didn’t like it one bit when he noticed the nervousness in your eyes just because you had to talk to him. Maybe another guy would have been smooth about it, thinking that it was because he was half-naked and all. And maybe a little part of you was intimidated by the nakedness and the beauty of his body but the bigger part feared a violent outburst from him. 

“Uhm, sorry Tommy but I’m afraid I have to close the gym.” you weakly told him. He didn’t answer you and for a moment you wondered if had heard you at all but after throwing the last punch he nodded toward you and walked toward the changing room. Hoping he would be quick, you did everything your cousin told you to do and waited for him at your desk. Fortunately, he didn’t take long and after twenty minutes-ish he was standing next to you. 

Turning off the lights and locking the door you turned ready to make your way home when Tommy’s presence startled you. You thought that he had already walked away. 

“Oh sorry, I thought you had already gone,” you said trying to make up for the surprise on your face when you saw. Wouldn’t want him to think that his face scared you. He was actually very handsome, you noted now that you had the opportunity to look at him up close. 

“ Do you have a car?” he asked bluntly not even acknowledging your words

“Nope, I came on foot. My house isn’t that far from here,” you explained not sure if he was asking how you were going to get home or if you could give him a ride

“You can’t walk around at this time of the hour on your own, it’s dangerous.” he scolded you much to your surprise. When did you go from barely acknowledging each other to him scolding you? 

“I’m sorry but since when do you care about me? We don’t know each other.” you pointed out, your usual shyness leaving place for anger

“Come, I’ll walk you home.” he offers not bothering, again to answer you

“You do know that I don’t know you and that you’re as good as any stranger on the street right now, don’t you?” Just because you went to the same gym you worked in, doesn’t mean that he’s trustworthy. Not to mention his anger outbursts. 

“I know what you saw okay? But that has nothing to do with you. I would never hurt you.” he said sighing knowing very well that his fight with Maddog had affected you greatly. These were pretty much words that every potential rapist would say, you’re aware of that. However, that was something in his eyes and in the way that he wasn’t invading your personal space that proved he was genuine. 

“I don’t even know your name.” you weakly protest but you had pretty much caved and he knew that

“I’m Tommy. And you are?" 

"My name’s y/n, nice to meet you Tommy.” you smiled at him, accepting his offer of walking you home. 

And that was the first time of many that Tommy had walked you home and one of your very first interaction.

Part 2

[screamingatanemptyroom]

I Can’t Eat Love Side Part 5- Queen Amerande (END)

Hey everyone, this is the final side part to the I Can’t Eat Love series. Thank you to everyone who has stuck through this whole process. I have loved writing it, loved answering the asks and hearing your thoughts on the characters and the stories. I cherished each message, comment, fan art... all of it! 

Masterpost is linked here.

For the last time, please Enjoy!

__________________________________

In a previous life…

If I could have one wish in this life… No matter the cost, I would only use it for her happiness 

“This is for you, dear. This necklace protects our family, brings good luck!” My mother smiled as she placed the golden chains around my neck. “My own mother told me that it can even grant wishes! So keep it with you in Reterand.”

I played with the small sapphire amulet, my mood which had been down becoming slightly better. “But mother, I don’t know the crown prince very well, what if he isn’t a good man?”

I hadn’t been happy since my engagement had been announced. Reterand was a good kingdom, the western neighbor to my country Giral. Even though I was a princess, and I had always known that my marriage would be political in nature … I couldn’t pretend I was excited to marry the man I had only met once before. I had even heard he had been previously engaged, and had broken off the relationship for this alliance. What kind of marriage could this be?

My mother shrugged sadly. “It’s hard to say, dear. I hope your marriage will be happy.” She seemed to be looking past me, “Find joy in other things, so that your happiness is not dependent on him. “

“…” I hugged my mother silently, wondering not for the first time if she and my father were happy.

__________________________________

I was married into the Reterand royalty, and less than a year later his father had stepped down. I was the Queen of a foreign nation.

And I was very lonely.

 My husband was a cold, calculating man. He was polite, never raising his voice to me, but there was a distance between us that couldn’t be crossed. It was painful, it was regretful, but I had always known this was a possibility. I tried to find happiness within other things as my mother had suggested and kept up a cordial façade. Despite the coldness in our marriage, we attended to our duties as monarchs. I quickly gave birth to an heir, a boy we named Ronan after the previous king. I had a husband, a child, a family… it should have been one of the happiest times in my life.

But it was at that time that the King broke all that remained of the good sentiment I had held towards him, by forbidding me from raising our son.

“You’re too weak.” His voice was chilling, forcing me to step back despite my panic. “You’ll drag him down. He will learn from me, and the rest can be taught by the tutors.” 

“HE’S MY CHILD!” I was screaming, all thought of etiquette and calm long forgotten. “HOW CAN YOU KEEP ME FROM HIM?!”

His face didn’t change despite the rage I showed. “He’s a future king before that. You may see him once a week for tea, but that is all.”

I wish that I had left him then, sometimes. Broken ties and returned home to Giral. But I stayed, refusing to leave my child behind. Hoping the restrictions would be relaxed with time. 

I could only stand off to the side and watch my son be raised by others. Fortunately he grew up healthy and happy, although he seemed a little reckless and arrogant sometimes, even for such a small child.  I felt guilty. I was too weak to defend my position as a mother. And so life went on. I thought I had buried my heart, given up on those maternal feelings to protect myself.

But then I met that girl.

__________________________________

“This is my daughter, Lenora.” Seline, a beautiful but cold woman, pushed a young girl about four or five years old out in front of her. I was wary at their approach. I had long since learned that she had been my husband’s former fiancé, and had married the Duke of Armeny instead. I was worried she might be seeking revenge, but as I studied her closely I was surprised. There was intense dislike in her gaze, but no hatred. She even seemed willing to curry favor with me, curtsying deeper than required by her rank.

“She is the same age as your son, Ronan.” These sly words broke me from my reverie. I looked up to see her glancing over at her husband with a haughty expression, as if expecting praise and adoration for her words. I realized quickly why Seline hadn’t been focused on me… she was too obsessed with herself. She was obviously hoping to gain favor and pampering by making her daughter the future Queen.

What a selfish woman. I opened my mouth to reject the hidden offer in her words. 

“Hello!” A quiet voice caught me off guard, and I turned to face the small girl standing before me. 

She had pretty features, framed by light curls. Her face was brightened by her intelligent, expressive eyes and her wide grin. She reached into a pocket in her dress pulling out something and holding it up to me with a shy look. 

“Is this for me?” I asked softly, unsure of how to react. She nodded and opened her fingers to reveal a small stone.  

A rock?

Lenora looked up at me, scuffing one foot against the floor nervously. “The prettiest stone I could find in our garden. I was going to keep it by my bed but…” She paused and then smiled brightly. “I want you to have it, since you’re pretty too!”

I took the rock from her, taken aback at how relieved she seemed just by me accepting her gift. How did her parents normally treat her? “Thank you, Lenora, I will treasure it.”

“YAY! I’m so happy you like it!” The small form flung herself into my arms. As the girl hugged me tightly, I felt a huge shift in my heart, the kind that left a person completely changed, never to be the same again.

I loved this girl.

“We should discuss an engagement.” I smiled down at Lenora, not caring about how Seline responded. This girl would be my daughter-in-law in the future, my family. I would stay by her, love her, and help raise her.

__________________________________

“You did well!” I patted Lenora on the back, watching her sympathetically. It had been a particularly brutal etiquette lesson. Her mother had attended, a fortunately rare occurrence but one that never failed to cause problems. Seline had watched the lesson with an impatient expression, speaking critically to Lenora over and over until Mrs. Rendler was forced to end the lesson early. I had been late, only catching the last few minutes but even that was enough to break my heart.

“It’s okay, mother is right…” Lenora stared down at her feet. “I’m useless.”

I pulled her into my arms, hugging her, “YOU ARE NOT USELESS! You are a wonderful girl, and I am so proud to have such a smart and kind daughter.” I had long since dropped the “in-law” and simply called her my own child now. It wasn’t like her real mother was around enough to care. “Keep working hard, but don’t hurt yourself. You’re doing very well.”

“Really?”  The quiet hope in her face was hard to see. She should be confident, she was skilled, intelligent, and beautiful… but she couldn’t see any of it. Her family ignored her or used her, and my son hadn’t paid enough attention to notice how wonderful the girl he was supposed to marry was. Between all of them, they had buried her in self-doubt, keeping my compliments from being truly meaningful to her.

“I love you, dear. One day I will convince you how amazing you are.”

Lenora smiled, although the expression was slightly sad. “I love you too, Your Majesty.”

I felt a slight pain in my chest at the address. I wanted her to call me mother. But Seline had told the girl to never ignore etiquette and she was afraid of her disapproval. One day, however, when she married Ronan, she would be able to call me that without censure.

I looked forward to it.

__________________________________

“I’m so worthless!”

The girl was sobbing uncontrollably on the floor  in her room. It was her 16th birthday, what should be a happy occasion, but she was alone and sad once more. I felt another burst of irritation at that foolish son of mine. He was obviously the one who had tripped during the dance, but had blamed the fall on her! I decided to lecture him again, but I felt a stab of fear in my heart that he was too arrogant to listen.

I was no longer sure if I had chosen the right path forward. I wanted Lenora to be happy and yet… I couldn’t break the engagement now. Her reputation would be ruined. Her parents were doing their best to throw away their own wealth and dignity, and all the girl had to depend on was her status as future Queen. What would happen if that were taken away?

Ronan grow up soon, he’s still young. He can still be a reliable man, a good husband to Lenora.

Sighing, I sat down next to her on the ground and held her, one hand patting her back.

“I love you, and I always will. No matter what.”  I didn’t know what else to say. After a long while she finally calmed down, and I smiled, helping her wipe away her tears. Thinking for a moment I retrieved the present I had planned on giving to her today, handing it over quietly.

The sapphire necklace, my family heirloom.

I took in her shocked face with glee. Lenora had seen this necklace as a young girl and had loved it, often asking to take it out and look at it. I had once thought to give it to her after she married Ronan, after she became my daughter-in-law, but had recently changed my mind. I no longer knew for certain what the future might hold, but I did know this: Lenora would always be my daughter, and therefore should have this necklace whether she married Ronan or not.

I hope it brings you happiness dear. If it does grant wishes, that is my only one. I didn’t say it out loud though, but kept in my heart a bright hope for what the future might bring.

__________________________________

“What did you say?” I grabbed the servant’s arm weakly, looking up at him with a horrified expression.

“I-I’m sorry, Your Majesty.” He stammered, looking terrified. “But Prince Ronan has already broken the engagement with Lady Lenora at his birthday party, and announced his engagement to another.”

“How could this…?” I groaned, a stabbing pain in my stomach making it difficult to think. I had become sick the night before my son’s birthday party, and had been bedridden for the past four or five days. I had only now been well enough to ask after Lenora, and was now shocked at what I had heard.

I had tried to bring them together. Trading my weekly tea time with Ronan to the King , I only asked in return that the prince would spend that with Lenora instead. I hoped that if he saw her and spoke with her more, he might learn how wonderful she was. It was a simple thought, perhaps a naïve one, but it was all I could do.

And now it was too late 

The engagement had been broken five days ago. What had Lenora suffered in that time? I knew all too well how cruel the nobility could be. Having lost her status, with no one to protect her…

I needed to see her, now.

I was still weak, every muscle in my body screaming in pain as I pushed myself out of bed. The servants tried to stop me, protesting that I was too ill to travel, but I ignored them. Pushing my way out, I struggled to stay awake on the carriage ride over.

“Your Majesty.” A grim faced young woman, who I recognized as Lenora’s personal maid, met me at the gate.

“How is Lenora?” I pushed the words out, feeling nauseous from the carriage ride.

“She is… very upset.”

“I need to see her.” I shook my head to clear it, and started to walk forwards, only to be stopped by the maid. 

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty.” She looked regretful. “Miss gave very specific orders that she didn’t want to see you.” 

“You must be mistaken.”

The lady’s maid didn’t seem too bothered by my irritated tone. She leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially “She’s very angry, I’m afraid. I overheard the Miss say that you reminded her of Prince Ronan, and seeing you would only cause her pain.” 

She doesn’t want to see me? It didn’t seem right. I wished I were more clear-headed, but the illness still had a strong grip on me. Barely able to move, I returned to my carriage and my rooms, feeling heartbroken.

__________________________________

It took weeks for me to fully recover. During that time I sent countless letters to Lenora. But they were never answered. I tried a few more times to visit, but was rejected at the gate by her maid each time. I missed her dearly, worried for her constantly, but still she avoided me.

The Duchy of Armeny was buried in debt. I was forbidden from interfering, but in return I was guaranteed that Lenora and her parents would be allowed a small place to live. At least she wouldn’t be out on the streets. I tried again to contact her before she left, but my letter was ignored as always.

I was alone, so lonely that the feeling seemed to carve itself deeper into my heart, taking over my soul. Trying to comfort myself, I tried to feel reassured that Lenora would be okay, even if she didn’t have me by her side.

Your daughter is smart and resourceful. Even if she hates you, even if she doesn’t want your help, she will find her own way.

Even if it took some time for her to heal, I would be patient. I would see her again. We could be together again. I just needed to wait a little longer.

She just needed a little more time.

__________________________________

“Lenora’s dead.”

Edith, my son’s new fiancé, gave me the news with a casual smile. I stared back at her, the words rang in my head, repeating over and over until they became nonsensical sounds.

Dead? It didn’t make any sense. Lenora couldn’t be dead. She was a perfectly healthy girl, with a long life ahead of her.

“They found her body this morning.” She continued talking, but I couldn’t hear her. My ears were ringing, darkness closing in around me. I felt two servants grab my arms, trying to support me, but I could only hang helplessly against them.

“Lenora’s dead?” The words sounded wrong as soon as I spoke them. She couldn’t be dead. My daughter, my beloved girl… gone forever? I shook my head, but the dizziness grew worse. I heard horrifying screams of agony, barely recognizing that they were coming from my own throat.  

“Lenora.”  I tried to call out her name, but even that sound was taken from me as everything faded into darkness.

__________________________________

My world closed around me that day.

I kept to my rooms, sitting at my window. I barred all from my presence other than the butler Hallers. At first I meant to drive him out as well, but seeing the pain and grief in his eyes, and realizing that he had known Lenora as well, I let him stay and serve me. He forced me to eat and drink, keeping me alive when I might have otherwise faded into shadows.

I couldn’t move on. I was crippled with guilt. If only I hadn’t engaged Lenora to my son, setting her up for this fall. If only I had raised my son into a man who wouldn’t toss her away so cruelly, leaving her vulnerable. If only I hadn’t been sick that day, and could have protected her. If only I had insisted on seeing her, no matter how much she hated me and tried to keep me away. If only I had forced my way in, broken down her front door even, and protected her.

If only, if only, if only… 

Time passed, but I remained unaware. I ignored all requests from my husband to come out of mourning. That girl Edith came by multiple times, trying to curry favor, but I refused to see her. I couldn’t forget how she smiled the day she told me Lenora was dead. Even if I were to leave my rooms, I planned to avoid her.

Then I fell ill. I had been sick multiple times since I had secluded myself away, always small illnesses that could be resolved with a few medicines and rest, but this time… 

I was dying.

I stayed in my bed, a blood stained handkerchief clutched in a weakened hand. At first I had only noticed small drops of blood in what I had coughed up, but it grew worse with each passing hour. There should have been a doctor called, but no one came even as I weakened.

“Hello Mother.” 

Edith walked in with an odd smile. I tried to sit up but fell back, too weak to complete the motion, and so glared at her instead.

“I’m not your mother.”

“Really?” she didn’t seem put off by my cold tone, in fact, she smiled and brought up a chair to sit by my bed. “Didn’t you once want Lenora to call you that? Now that I’m your daughter-in-law, shouldn’t I be the one to call you that instead?”

I felt an odd sense of panic. “Don’t speak her name.”  

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Your Majesty, as she is the reason I came here today.” She tossed an object onto my lap, and with a shock I recognized it. The sapphire necklace. The family heirloom I had given to Lenora. When I had Hallers investigate to confirm her death, he had reported that it was thought to be stolen at that time. So how was it here? 

“Lenora sold it for a loaf of bread just recently.” Edith laughed, the sound odd and distorted. “She had held onto right until the end, you know? I thought she would have broken long before that.”

“Lenora…” I stared at the jewelry in my hand, a brief hope flaring within me. “She’s alive…?”

“Not anymore.” Edith laughed as my expression fell, my heart breaking once again within my chest. “She died this morning, of starvation. I saw her body myself before having them throw it into the forest to be food for the animals.”

“This morning…?” My head was spinning, it was difficult to think straight. “But she died a long time ago…”

“Oh, that was a lie. I tricked you with another girl’s corpse. She’s been lost and alone without friends and family for over a year now.”

Her voice was calm, as if discussing the weather, but the unnatural light of excitement in her gaze gave her true feelings away.

“I convinced her that you abandoned her, despised her. Lenora had always held onto the hope that you still cared about her, but even that was eventually broken into pieces.” She laughed again, and I flinched, filled with horror at her words.

Lenora had been living all this time. Starving. Thinking that I despised her.

It was too painful to bear. I gripped the necklace tightly, my thinned skin tearing against the hard edge of the amulet, bright red blood staining my palm and the jewelry alike.

“Why?” I could barely force out a whisper. I felt even weaker, as if my spirit was breaking along side my body, any will I had to move forward drained from me.

“Because she was a thief who took my place.” Her smile was terrifying, filled with madness. “I was meant to be the Duke’s beloved daughter. I should have been pampered and loved! I was supposed to be engaged to your son and you were supposed to love ME!” 

She was shouting at the end, the chair she had been sitting on kicked to the floor as she leaned over me. “But you refused to even look at me after your precious Lenora was gone! I gave you so many chances, but you threw them all away!”

She drew closer, whispering in my ear. “That’s why it’s too late now. I’ve already poisoned you. So you can go join your useless daughter, just like you wanted. But just remember: if you had been smart enough to recognize that she was a fraud, that she had only stolen what belonged to me… you would have lived a long and happy life.”

Edith stepped back, a look of vicious satisfaction on her face. I stared up at her, finding it hard to breathe through the pain, but still forcing a smile, surprising her.

“My only regret in this life is that I didn’t love my daughter more, that I didn’t protect her better. As for you… you mean nothing to me.”

“...” A long silence fell between us.

“Fine.” She spat out the word like a curse. “Die like a fool.”  With that she was gone.

I turned on my side, the movement agonizing. Tears filled my eyes, tracking down my cheeks, soaking my disheveled hair and the pillow beneath my head. In my hands I clutched the bloody necklace, holding it tightly to my chest.

“Lenora.” The name came out of my lips as a hoarse whisper.

I had hoped this necklace would bring her happiness, but instead she died alone and miserable.

“I’m... sorry. 

I wanted to see her grow up happy and healthy, surrounded by friends and family. 

“I wish….”

If I could have one wish in this lifetime, no matter the cost…

“You had another chance.”

I would only use it for her happiness.

“Lenora... please be happy next time.”

As the world faded into darkness around me, the last thing I saw was the blue jewel in my hand glowing with a brilliant red light.

__________________________________

In another life…

“GRANDMA!” I woke up, startled by the loud shout and a small form jumping on me.

It was a young boy, with bright mischievous eyes and dark curls, looking up at me with a grin.

“What is it, sweetie?” I reached out and hugged my grandson, feeling a sense of warmth in my heart.

He looked around at my question, as if looking to see if anyone else was listening in, turning back to whisper. “There’s going to be a party today!” 

“A party?” I raised an eyebrow. “Is this a surprise party for my birthday?” He nodded enthusiastically and laughing, I hugged him tighter.

“Are you excited, Grandma?”

“Very. But we should probably pretend I don’t know anything about it.” He looked confused, but before I could explain the concept of “surprise party” another voice called out.

“Thomas, I told you not to bother grandmother before…” Aimee, her graceful movements showing the results of her etiquette training, halted in surprise, stopping mid-sentence. She looked between us, obviously not wanting to ruin the surprise party, unaware that her little brother already had.

“It’s alright, Aimee, I already know.” I reached out to hug her as well, enjoying having both children in my arms.

“Can you pretend to be surprised for mother?” She asked carefully, her eyes concerned. “She’s been planning this for weeks and I don’t want her to be sad.” 

What a thoughtful child.

Feeling proud, I patted her head. “Don’t worry. I’ll be surprised.”

“Thank you.”  Standing up and straightening her gown, she held out a hand to help me up. “Then let’s head in, Mother sent me to bring you to the party.”

Holding the two children’s hands, I walked towards the small ballroom where Aimee had said the party was to take place. Aimee opened the door for me, and as I stepped in a group of people stepped forward, shouting:

“SURPRISE!”

I pretended to be shocked, winking at Aimee. “Oh goodness!”

Lenora, looking more of a Queen than I ever had in a dark purple gown with gold trim, reached out to hug me. “Happy birthday, Mother.” 

I felt a sting in my eyes as I blinked back tears. “Thank you, dear.”

The rest of the group crowded around with a cheer. Hallers smiled kindly at me before turning away to organize the servants to serve food and drinks. Rig clapped me on the back, almost knocking me over, and then grabbed Thomas to throw him up in the air to his delighted shrieks. Erica and Marile both came forward to greet me, happily showing off the gown they had designed for me to wear later that night at the formal gathering. Henry and Raewynn dragged in an enormous potted plant, all the while arguing on the best care for the species before promising to send me a set of written instructions.

Finally Nate stepped closer, dressed in his formal court robes, the awe-inspiring effect ruined by the small infant he held against his shoulder which had already spit up on him. Grinning foolishly, he grabbed a cloth to clean up the baby girl, holding her out to me after he was finished.

“Elise wanted to say happy birthday to her grandmother too.” He kissed my cheek as he handed me my grandchild, standing beside Lenora and naturally placing an arm around her.

The wide-eyed baby, now in my arms, laughed happily and blew spit bubbles, making me grin.

“Were you really surprised, Mother? “ Lenora looked suspicious as she glanced at her two older children, who suddenly appeared guilty.

I couldn’t abandon my grandchildren, so I lied immediately. “O-of course!” 

“…” Lenora stared silently for a few moments, before letting out a long sigh. “Sure.” 

Nate drew her closer, and kissed her. “As long she’s happy, then your party was a success.”

Seeing her cheered up by such a simple statement, I once again felt grateful that Lenora was married to a man like Nate, who cared for her so much. They smiled at each other, the love they felt evident in their eyes, briefly seeming to forget about everyone else in the room. Playing with Elise, I waited patiently for them to finish. It took some time, but finally she turned back to me, and the room’s light reflected against the blue gem hanging around her neck.

Noticing the familiar blue necklace, I looked closer, slightly confused. “Lenora, you didn’t change the gem did you?” 

She shook her head. “No, it’s the same as when you gave it to me.”

I reached out with my free hand, still holding my granddaughter in the other, and lifted the jewel to look closer. “It looks slightly different.” 

Perhaps it was the lighting, but the normally pure blue gem seemed to have a faint red glow within it.  As I watched it seemed to flare outwards slightly before fading away, leaving a pure blue color once more. I stared at it for a few more moments, but it didn’t change again. Finally I let it down and stepped away from her, wondering if I had imagined it. “Do you remember what I told you when I gave it to you?”

“That it would bring me happiness?” Lenora grinned.

“Are you happy?”

She glanced around the room at my question, and I did too. Everyone here was a part of the family Lenora had gathered. People she cared about, who loved her dearly in return. She reached out, taking Elise and handing it to her husband, before pulling me into a tight hug.

“I’m very happy, Mother.”

I grinned, tears spilling over and soaking into the shoulder of her gown as I held her close. “Good. I love you, Lenora.”

She smiled at that, a pure expression no longer plagued by doubt or fear of caring for others, and answered without hesitation.

“I love you too, Mother.” 

I thought of the life Lenora had once told me about. The one she had lived before this. Where she had died alone, betrayed, despairing. I couldn’t help but wonder about the me that had lived in that lifetime. Had I loved her then as much as I did now?

 I thought I might have. After all: 

If I could have one wish in this life… No matter the cost, I would only use it for her happiness.

I couldn’t help but wonder if in that life  I had done just that. Stepping back, I looked at the necklace once more, and sighed. Lenora had grown up well, surrounded by friends and family who loved her. She was happy, and was creating her own future hand in hand with those she loved. It was everything I had ever hoped for and more 

My wish, both in this lifetime and the last, had come true.