#I am incapable of having thoughts over this man on my own I cant do this Im sorryyyyyy

[arolesbianism]

Me scrolling through the unit swap cast in my head checking to make sure I have basic ideas for all of them before landing on Tsukasa and staring at him for 10 deafening seconds before silently moving on

[ataraxixx]

my piece on why i really like echo. i have ruminated a lot of these thoughts in my brain for awhile but i realized ive never actually made a public post abt it .. echoheads lets discuss extensively

see. i think we can all agree about the most common echo characterization. at least the one i usually see in fics? and generally most fan content. hes a happy-go-lucky guy whos a bit child-like or naive, very innocent and mostly just glad to be here and full of wonder and whimsy and etc. and also really loves zane and is very kind and sweet and etc.

i am not saying this is an incorrect characterization by any means . obviously. because hes literally got like 5 minutes of screentime and most of that is spent not talking so its really up to whoevers writing him how they want to take his character. but i also think that making him just. Fine with everything is a very underwhelming way to take his character. because he could be so much more than just. zane's brother who is innocent and silly. he can be innocent and silly and still have complicated feelings about his situation and existence yk.

i enjoy villain/antag echo bc it gives him a role in which to explore those complicated feelings as Himself. not as second fiddle to whatever zane is doing, but as a story of his own to come into his identity. because often times when hes included in fan content hes there just to be zanes brother and nothing else. which is so sad for him. because in canon thats all he ever was and all he'll ever be to his father. to zane. to the ninja. he's just the copy. the lesser version. he can never be his own self he will always be a derivative of zane.

like how is that not an interesting thing to explore. and how could we not think about the complicated feelings he would have about that. echo isnt stupid. he isnt incapable of having those kinds of feelings about his identity or role in the world because he is Literally Zane. he is programmed to be identical and he is in every facet of his personality and mannerisms a reflection of how zane was before he met wu/the ninja. when he was just a bit clueless about the world but not Stupid. just unknowledgable. and he was still capable of complicated feelings about himself because we see as early as episode 2 of season 1 he is wondering about himself and his role in the team and how he feels about the world. he isnt just content every day of his life to simply be there; he questions things and thinks about them deeply. why do fan creators often rob echo of this same capability and dumb him down to simply being child-like or incapable of complicated thought?

i always see him just. Fine with everything. and i dont think he needs to be a villain or evil or even violent to make him an interesting character. but i also think that anger and violence is a natural progression of the situation he has been put in by the doctor and by extension the ninja. they too do not regard him as his own individual, only as an extension of zane. which is literally crazy. because he is a whole ass person. they disregard his identity because its the same exact one as a person they already know; but he has no control over that. he didnt ask to be made as a copy of someone else, and now he exists, and he is forced to live knowing he was never his own person, even though he Is. Because he is Himself and he Exists and yet he isnt because his face doesnt belong to him and his voice doesnt belong to him and his name doesnt belong to him. the world decided he is someone else and he cant be who he actually is because someone else is Already him. like christ man. why are we sleeping on this and just making him like yayyy:3 im so happy i love everything or whatever. bro should be questioning his existence!

because i do think joining the SoG gives him such an excellent entry into both formulating his own identity while also paralleling harumi in an interesting way; for both characters in their attempts to create their own identities opposing the ones theyve been forced into, they end up only relating themselves to that identity anyway. in echos attempts to separate himself from zane he ends up relegating himself to hating zane because zane took something from him, an acknowledgement that he is a copy in the first place. their scrapped fight dialogue is so interesting guys. a discarded replica an experiment left to rust. should he not be upset that despite not asking to be made, much less in the image of someone else, he was left abandoned? that he was created solely to be hated by his creator for not being Someone Else? And now he is stuck always chasing after the shadow of that person because he was never meant to be his own person. only zane's copy. never as good as the original. and he has to live with that. its so devastating and good characterization and so interesting that i cannot pass up on it for simply having him be Guy Who is Happy and Innocent.

He is not stupid. He would definitely have less anger in his heart if the ninja got to him before Harumi did, but i think its so impossible that he can simply look at zane and feel nothing. that he can see the person who has cursed his existence into meaninglessness and just be like omg brother:3 because he is doomed to constantly be relegated to Zane's Brother and he will never be Echo to these people that call him a friend. He cant even use his own name he has to be Echo. because its someone elses name and not his even though it Is His its the name his father gave him. but hes not allowed to use it because hes not the original. and he is lesser. and he will always just be zanes brother and he will never be zane. and he will never even be echo. isnt that so fucked.

[kevin-the-bruyne]

if you follow me you might have clued in on how much im struggling to understand this big dragon hyperfixation [in the last week while being fully employed i have watched all available episodes through once and ep5 4 extra times like this is a Problem™]. And I just cant figure it out, like tearing my hair out cant figure it out because the last time experienced something like this about a show-

-oh

like when i tell you i had a galaxy brain moment it was almost comical. of course of course it would be wenzhou -

my OG Bastard on Bastard ship.

as a Certified Queer™ i am compelled by monstrosity, i am compelled by irredeemable hell bound creatures. And a lot of us might be familiar with this particular bit from Caitlyn Siehl's "Start Here":

When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.

But there's a particular level of mania i feel when its a monster loving another monster.

When the most irredeemable man you know looks at the other most irredeemable man you know...and finds them worthy of love. When redemption comes without atonement. When redemption is not something another can bestow upon you but that which you bestow upon yourself when you look at your reflection and...decide it deserves love. The idea that human life no matter how corrupted is capable of tenderness and good if they choose it and that no matter how small or insignificant that choice, it still makes its existence meaningful.

That's what drives me insane.

I feel like the comedy overshadows the gravity of the crime yai was in the process of committing. but yai - for no good reason other than he can - drugs someone, essentially kidnaps them, plans to sexually assault them and then record and distribute said act.

thats like 4 life sentences crammed into one night.

and mangkorn - the victim - sees this horrible criminal, sees the man inside the monster in desperate need of love and tenderness and then just gives it to him. he doesnt stop to ask whether he deserves it, he doesn't even wait for an apology [i know yai apologizes to him at the party but that was after destroying even more of mangkorns property and getting caught].

the show isn't even particularly subtle about this theme

like my man is even looking at his own reflection here like how did it take me this long to see this. and so much of the title song and the mv makes so much more sense when you see it through this lens of monstrosity and redemption.

but mangkorn isn't your average victim, right? he's the kind of person who finds not just yai and all his sweet qualities worth loving - he finds yai's criminal action against him endearing. He too is unscrupulous, ready to do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

and the show keeps telling us this over and over that they're the same, two halves of one fucked up whole:

[apparently i am incapable of keeping my thoughts about them succinct so i guess have a cut]

and even the fact that mangkorn says the classic bl line of i can only be myself around you just so early on in the relationship before even like is in the picture let alone love

this whole scene with mangkorn bringing yai to his safe place immediately after yai tries to steal from him and destroys his phone and then says something so intense in this horrible mistimed way like dear god - he means it. he wants yai to see him in the way that he sees yai and wants him exactly as he is in this moment - unrepentant, grumpy, covered with alcohol he spilled on himself.

mangkorn looks at this mess of a man...and wants to be his friend. wants to know him and be known by him. i just want to *banshee screeching*

and of course the progression of their colors pointed out by both pharawee and respectthepetty in more eloquent ways but god the fact that their arc of recognizing the self in the other is so visually visceral

they are each other's salvation in a way that only they can be, through the salvation of the core part of themselves that they see reflected in the other

[gridelincarver]

hey I trust u what are ur top 5 Iorveth songs 👀 im in a creative bind I need inspo (im also @essskel but u know that lmao)

oh my god HI

i know this isn't what u asked but like first off real quick lemme slide this link over... i have a iorveth playlist on spotify (it's meant to be listened on shuffle i know the order i added them is wack)

but uhh ok if i had to pick 5 (also in no particular order)

"Arsonist's Lullabye" - Hozier

"Wretches and Kings" - Linkin Park (i know its linkin park but if you look at the LYRICS)

"Thank You For the Venom" - My Chemical Romance (but i cant not also mention DESTROYA and our lady of sorrows)

"Daniel in the Den" - Bastille

"Satellite" - Rise Against

it PAINS ME to only pick five emblematic ones but i tried lskdghldksjf

(also bonus under the cut some pertinent lyrics. i could do this w the whole playlist and also write paragraphs & more but i am restraining myself)

This is a life that you can't deny us now

(Rise Against) self explanatory, i think, very scoia'tael

When I was a man I thought it ended When I knew love's perfect ache But my peace has always depended On all the ashes in my wake

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

(Hozier) I think Iorveth struggles a lot with feeling like he's incapable of sitting down and being happy (and this lyric plays into how i think his relationship w Cedric went/ended), and the chorus is just very reminiscent of how alone he's always been even among his supposed peers, and also just the strength and power of his character

To save face, how low can you go? Talk a lotta game, but yet you don't know Static on the wind, makes us all say whoa The people up top push the people down low Get down, and obey every word Steady, get in line if you haven't yet heard Wanna take what I got, don't be absurd Don't fight the power, nobody gets hurt

Hear us now, clear and tall Wretches and kings, we come for you

(Linkin Park) I think this is a bit of pointed anger at Francesca Findabair (shakes fist) for acquiescing and betraying her own kind as if that will help any elves besides the few who actually got to dol blathanna, also the "wretches and kings" is reminiscent of "king or beggar, one dh'oine less" (also listen to the speech at the beginning and end of the song. it fucks)

I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me

Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent sun It ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one

You're running after something That you'll never kill If this is what you want Then fire at will

You want to follow something Give me a better cause to lead Just give me what I need Give me a reason to believe

(My Chemical Romance) this goes w MY interpretation of him as someone who wasn't actually gradually made ready for being the face of a movement and instead having it sprung on him by his circumstance (of being the last surviving vrihedd officer), and his own conflicted feelings of nothing getting better while also refusing to give up or do anything else (also it literally says "serpent sun," nilfgaard anyone?)

And you thought the lions were bad Well they tried to kill my brothers And for every king that died Oh they would crown another But it's harder than you think Telling dreams from one another

Oh to see What it means to be free Of the shadows and the dreams That you claim to see

And felled in the night By the ones you think you love They will come for you

(Bastille) the beginning one is I think more self explanatory, and "telling dreams from one another" i think can be applied to all the people who have "allied with" and "helped" the scoia'tael only to really be working for their own gain (like nilfgaard, or even arguably saskia)

the "felled in the night / by the ones you think you love" to ME is more about Francesca Findabair (muffled yelling) and her decision to forsake the Scoia'tael completely from Dol Blathanna

Because we won't back down, we won't run and hide Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny I'm passing over you like a satellite, so catch me if I fall That's why we stick to your game plans and party lines But at night we're conspiring by candlelight We are the orphans of the American Dream, so Shine a light on me

This is a life that you can't deny us now

(Rise Against)

as u can see i have many thoughts about him all the time and this isn't even all of it for this set of songs but anyway :3

[qumiiiquinnquin]

please assist me whenever i need it and be understanding of my eye conditions

if something is too small for me to see , please make it larger or bring it closer to me. please let me come closer if the other two options cannot be done. if none of these three can be done , please explain it to me verbally , or just wait until you can bring it closer or i can come to you

i have accommodated over the years and improvised how i do various activities with my eye conditions. please do not try to correct me or call the way i do any action incorrect , unless i am genuinely doing it wrong. if i am doing it genuinely wrong , please explain how to do it correctly. if you think there is a better method to doing something with my eye conditions , please tell me and explain

please do not point at things , i cannot follow your finger. please describe where you are pointing. ive had people claim thats difficult and give up immediately on showing me what they were pointing to - please do not do this , please just explain as best you can and i will try my best to locate where you're describing

please just be patient and wait for me if im going down stairs slowly , take a few seconds to step onto an escalator , or am taking a while to read a menu somewhere ((like a fast-food place)). please do not rush me. related to the first paragraph , if i cannot read a menu , please read it out to me or let me take a picture or take a picture for me and show it to me

warnings are always appreciated , so please let me know of things like if there is a step or another thing in front of me. if possible , please also let me know if i am too close or too far from something , as i cant always determine my distance from things too well ((really helpful in stores and im manning the shopping cart))

please do not get frustrated at me if i cannot see something. you gain nothing from getting pissed at me , and your frustration doesnt magically help me see better. i get it can sometimes be challenging , but dont get frustrated. just help me out if i need it and everything will be fine. if i am too slow to locate something , then please do it yourself or just wait patiently and describe in detail to me. if i am too slow to do something , then please GENTLY take my hand and help me through ((i.e. staircase)) or communicate with me verbally ((i.e. ordering food)). please ASK if you can take over for me instead of shoving or bumping me out the way. dont give up on me or get frustrated with me because of my vision

please do not think that i cannot do anything because of my vision

as long as im wearing my glasses , i can do most things without too much issue. but please do not view my glasses as a cure.

please do not act/be surprised or shocked if you see me performing a basic action or task that you thought i couldn't do because my eye conditions and vision. i dont need “wow , im surprised you can do that , considering your eyesight and all” comments in my life

as stated before , i have improvised how i do various things with my eye conditions to help me perform basic actions throughout the day. please do not make fun of how i may do things or try to correct me. i rely a lot on touch due to a warped depth perception , such as reaching out for things even if im a good 20 steps from it , feeling out an object a bit when picking it up , being very gentle when handling things or opening/closing doors ((i apologize in advance if i accidentally slam doors as i cant always determine how far the doorway is from me)) , and clinging onto rails when going down staircases and slowly feeling for the next step if no rails are available. again , please warn me of something in advance if i wouldnt be able to see it or would rely on my sense of touch for it , such as stairs or something being in front of or around me

please do not think i am incapable of doing anything on my own or without constant assistance because of my vision. please do not baby me. please only assist me and provide me with specific accommodations at times when i need it and request it

[sydmarch]

OK I hope my readmore on mobile works. SPOILERS FOR INFINITY PIOL OBVIOUSLY these are just my post initial watch word vomit thoughts.

OK SO FIRST off god the arsthetic. obsessed. he has such an eye for framing. definitely felt extremely similar vibes to possessor with all the saturated blues & the cameras flipping upside down & the doubling scene. definitely similar vibes to the Vos possession scene. & huge similarities with the sex scenes too but that sex scene was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INSANE???

& god there's nothing like those moments where you get to be like I FUCKING KNEW IT!! he didn't lose his passport. the execution was from the doubles perspective this time around. he was never really one of them. it was a double not the detective under the sheet. kind of insane that it never came up that he couldn't afford more doubling on his own I was SO expecting at some point for it to come up that without em he couldn't afford it.

the fucking. commodification of violence. what are you willing to be complicit in if you can convince yourself what your hands are clean. the identity and personhood. how DO you know its the right one. like was the James who lived ti the end even the original James? it's possible that the dog was the original. he didn't know they had made a other double. they could've been switched out anytime.

& the way that all the "zombies" were so just. NORMAL at the end. compartmentalized everything. like their vacation selves are another kind of double. & how James is just not able to do that ig? even in the end after killing his double he's still not like them and never was. canr move on & go back to normal. at least that's the interpretation I came away with on an initial watch. I'll definitely jave to watch it more times to REALLY dig into it like with all of Brandon's stuff there's sooooo much going on its hard to get it all on one go.

& ok two small things that were just CRAZY to me. the scene w the pee splashing on the ground and then the cum on the ground. BONKERS!! & that fucking weird thing with the nipple during the hallucination coming back around with the bloody breastfeeding near the end. INSANE!!!

& probably a topic I'll dive into more another time but god I am thinking so much about the similarities between Syd & Vos & James. the way Brandon's protagonist are all these like. perpetual outsiders. these people who are just like INCAPABLE of being on the inside maybe not from the start in every case but by the end absolutely. the like. corruption arcs. all 3 of them get worse.

and on a less serious note James absolute candidate for new most pathetic man on earth. Jesus christ. even though I knew what was coming when she was like bring out the dog. Jesus fucking christ.

absolutely have to go see it again. one of the movies of all time. you crazy boatyard LOL I MEANT CRAZY BASTARD rereading whatbi wrote on the train without my glasses on god. you've done it again. my god I can't believe the scene where we we're watching the whole group getting executed and it pans over and we see them in the audience people in the theater were LAUGHING? one thing I think I learned from seeing crimes of the future in theaters 4 or was it 5 times. is that people are uncomfortable with their discomfort. because there was NOTHING funny about that scene it was fucking HARROWING!! that they could witness somwthing like that as if it was like. dinner theater.

the choice to open that scene on the doubles chatting & being dragged out as if they were the originals was just brilliant BRILLIANT GENIUS I CANT GET OVER IT like showing us what it's like from the other side which it seems like they just so easily dismiss. to the doubles it IS like they're the originals just being dragged to their deaths. so fucking crazy one of the best scenes absolutely.

ok I thibk that's all I've got for the moment but god. wow.

[loudcon]

Oh my god it's a confession post! Haven't done one of these in a while.

Anyway, so I have a friend, and normally hes delightful, a joy. But recently the guy hes been long term dating (who I'm also friends with btw) broke up with him. Now freind no.1 is distraught and I cant hell feeling like a bit of a dick for saying this, but the more he processes the break the more I cant help feeling friend 2 was in the right.

Listen red flag number one after a break up, especially if you claim to still love them is the trash talk. I'm sorry you love this person and yet your out here talking about him like hes an idiot or incapable of certain things, emotional or otherwise, I just wonder about that, because god only fucking knows if you said this stuff to his face or not and if you god fucking help you I'm going to punch your teeth in

Red flag number two was when my man started bashing on his exes freinds for like,, idk hanging out with their freind??????? Its really fucking weird to me, like please hunny the jealous ex thing isnt a good look. Hes not Yours he doesn't belong to you and he can hang out with whoever he wants for as long as he wants you dont have to be invited to Every Fucking Meet and they sure dont owe you anything Now get your head out of your ass

Red flag number 3, the one that's really pushing me over the edge is that, we were fine, we were good, now this mother fucker seems to thing I'm irreparably broken on some molecular level. It's so bizarre cause I never got this from him before but now its "your in a bad place" "I wont say this cause youd crumble like a piece of paper" etcetera

He seems to be projecting either his own feelings or the way he thought about his ex on me and it's the single most uncomfortable thing I've ever experienced. I dont need this man to function I go several months a year without even speaking to him, he doesn't seem to grasp the fact that I have Other friends and am now an emotional wreck of a human being.

So the confession in the end is this, I love him dearly I do, I've done my best to balance between them as this situation unfolds, but I dont know if I can stick through the worst of him, I'm getting very close to telling him I'm done with it, and I know hes grieving or whatever but hes doing it in a way that is so unhealthy so unproductive and so destructive to me specifically btw he hasn't started doing this to anyone else just me

I'm just I'm so done, he cant fix me, I'm more emotionally stable then he is and it's just, alot

[technowoah]

since I'm a gremlin I can ask for a c!Schlatt angst fighting with reader while he's drunk and the reader is just fed up with dealing with him and goes "IF YOU LIKE SO MUCH TALKING YOU DON'T NEED ME I'M LEAVING!" and just walks away and he realizes the shit he's done?

(the same anon who wasn't prepared to be heartbroken-)

Heartless

Somehow you find your way back to Schlatt again and it never goes as well as you think.

- c!schlatt x reader

- angst

- anon!requested

- part 1 to this story

⚠︎: swearing, angst, alcoholism, mentions of dying, c!quackity makes a appearance, hopefully this is sad enough yall-

An// i decided to make this a part 2 to Have a Heart! So I hope you enjoy love!

The night is still cold and dark as you begrudgingly walk back to one of the buildings that was put up to replace whatever L'Manburg was there before. 

After Dream's word you had still contemplated going back to Schlatt. He doesn't deserve what you do, but you still end up walking along the Prime Path back to the drunken man. You had no end goal and that was a problem. You probably were going to be embarrassed that you came back to him. You couldn't let Schlatt die, from either the hands of someone else or let him die from himself.

You eventually found yourself in front of the metal doors that led into endless hallways of offices nobody occupied. The offices that had wine and cigarettes for Schlatt to smoke just in case he decided to have a meeting in a room that isn't the official meeting room. 

Walking down the hallways you saw that most of the doors to each office were open and most of the alcohol and cigarettes were taken from each room. You peaked inside every room to see if Schlatt was in there, but something in you told you not to because you weren't prepared. What were you going to say? Stop drinking? Because you're sure he'll know he's not going to stop. You want to try to save him.

You slowly opened a door to reveal an office that looked an absolute mess. The small refrigerator was knocked over and all of the wine off the shelf was either shattered on the floor or gone. There were cigarette butts on the ground and lit a cigar, there were also papers and folders all across the room.

You whispered as you walked around the lit room "Schlatt must've been in here."

"Sure as hell he was!"

You spun around to see Quackity looking disheveled as ever. He had a bottle of liquor in his hand, his beanie threatened to fall off of his head and his suit now only a white button up with his dress pants still on.

"I've been running around this goddamn place trying to keep that ram man at peace! He's gonna drink himself to death." Quackity huffed while looking around the hallway.

"I know." 

"That's why you're here huh?"

You sighed at the realization. "Yes it is. I don't want him to drink himself to death. Death isn't what I want."

"Well, it's too late for that." Quackity faced away from you not wanting to look you in the eyes.

You stayed silent until Quackity spoke up again.

"You want me to take you to him? Wanna see him one last time before he dies-"

"Don't say that!" You rolled your eyes 

"Are you fucking kidding me? It's inevitable Y/N! His body is now 70 percent alcohol and his lungs are filled with smoke!" Quackity laughed in disbelief. "I don't want him to die! But its fucking inevitable. Either from someone else or-"

"Himself." You finished his sentence.

"Exactly!" He opened his mouth to speak again but apparently decided against it.

Quackity began to lead you out of the office and down the long hallway you two walked slowly not even knowing where Schlatt was in the whole building. You and Quackity made small talk.

"I hate this. I had to find this liquor and deliver it to him and now I can't find him."

"I came here to try and save him from himself and you're here feeding the problem."

"What else do you want me to do?" He grunted.

"Stop him!"

"If I stop him he's gonna be even worse so-!" Quackity threw up his hands in frustration as you two kept walking.

"I actually have something to tell you." Quackity spoke up after the silence.

"Quackity! Ah there you are!" Schlatt came around the corner behind you both and you turned around to meet the man you both have been looking for stumbling down the hallway.

"Ah you bitch! I thought I told you to leave!"

"Here we go." You rolled your eyes.

"Hey Schlatt! Here's the Liquor you wanted!" Quackity tried to liven up the situation by reaching the bottle out to Schlatt.

"He doesn't need it."

"Yeah I do, who are you to tell me what to do!" Schlatt yelled, not even taking the drink out of Quackity's hand. 

"Schlatt just calm down-"

"No! They made a mistake and they cant even do what I fucking say! They'll keep coming back to me, against my wishes!" Schlatt interrupted Quackity while flailing his arms around.

You stood still not wanting to hear him anymore. Ever since he won the presidential debate the first couple of months he's been sober with only a few drinks here and there. Now he's a full on alcoholic, only damaging himself and his presidency. It's a sad sight to see and you don't want to see it, so you can either run away and know it's still there or fix it and never see it again. 

"Schlatt I want to help." You hesitated before stepping forward.

"Same here Schlatt." Quackity agreed with you.

"You, you! Aren't any help!" He pointed directly at you while trying to keep himself upright. 

"How aren't I any help!?" You yelled back. "I've done everything for you and now you're digging yourself a grave Schlatt!"

"You think you're the best thing ever huh?! Im fucking fine! I can stand on my own two fucking feet!"

Schlatt wasn't standing up straight, he was stumbling either backwards or forward. His body threatened to fall onto the marble floor and he couldn't even stand up straight. His speech was slurring together as well you could barely understand him.

You finally responded to Schlatt. "Schlatt you're stumbling around like- like I don't even know what! I can't understand you and you just need to stop!"

"You're so useless! Not useful to me or my presidency! I can stand up straight and I'm completely fine shut the fuck up!" He yelled while leaning to the side.

"I'd rather die alone! Without you or Quackity." Schlatt yelled again

"That's what you're going to do anyways." Quackity whispered under his breath.

Schlatt kept babbling nonsense as his back slid down one of the walls as he sat on the floor. Head pulled to the side. It was a sad sight to see, you hated to see this man drink himself to death and apparently Quackity, who was looking at the ram man the same way, standing silently next to you.

"Schlatt this-"

"I dont fucking care what you think! You're the worst person I've ever met! You both made my life hell and that's why Im fucking drinking my life away so I wont see any of you're fucking faces!" Schlatt tried to stand up but failed in doing so.

He continued talking. "I am the best thing that happened to this country! I saved both of you from a tyrant! And you thank me by driving me into this state!" 

You felt your eyes threatening to spill tears the second time today.

"Schlatt that isn't me that's doing this shit!" 

"How the fuck would you know?!" 

"I can't. But Ive done every fucking thing for you! You cannot say I haven't!" You yelled back as he rolled his eyes with a rebuttal already on the tip of his tongue.

"Sure as hell I can! I have fucking proof-!"

"What proof?!" You interrupted his babbling even though he kept going.

"I- I!" he stammered not having a rebuttal this time.

"You're incapable of doing anything Schlatt let someone help you for fucks sake-"

"I'd rather die alone than sit here and be lectured by the likes of you!" Schlatt yelled.

"You are going to die alone, old man!" Quackity spoke up. "That's what they're trying to tell you!" 

"You shouldn't be giving me a lecture! Im the mother fucking president! I should be talking, but apparently its not fucking work-" 

"IF YOU LIKE SO MUCH TALKING YOU DON'T NEED ME I'M LEAVING!" You interrupted him and stomped down the hallway for the second time today.

As you walked down the hallway you heard a faint "wait" from Schlatt on the floor. You stopped and looked back to see Schlatt looking at you with some sort of realization in his eyes. Quackity was standing over him shaking his head.

"You know what? I don't even know why I helped you. Probably for power, but I don't need you for that." Quackity walked away towards your way. "Go ahead and die alone like you said old man." 

Quackity caught your gaze and he smiled and shook his head again. He finally reached where you were standing and started talking to you.

"Maybe this isn't a good time, maybe it is. But I am joining Pogtopia. Wilbur said he needs a lot of people for this to work so consider this an invitation." He gave you a thin lipped smile and walked past you giving you a good look at Schlatt, laying fully on the ground.

"Y/N wait, just hold on for a second." Schlatt said while on his side, not even bothering to look at you.

You didn't say anything and followed Quackity's path, down the hallway and out of the door. Behind you, you could only hear the distant groans and pleas of the drunken man behind you. You tried your best to help and that's all you could do. But you couldn't watch that man die.

Taglist: MCYT Imagines: @annshit @bobaducky @malfoysslutt @alec-lost-bee @egorldevi

[thishintoflove]

“I Think He Knows” - A Kingsman Fanfic

TSwift Songfic Week Day 5

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x M!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Explicit (Pining, dirty talk, hand jobs, oral sex)

A/N: I feel like there’s a lack of M/M in the Pedro cinematic universe fandom, so here’s some bisexual Whiskey having a good time with a fellow male agent.

Summary: You and Agent Whiskey are paired together for an out-of-state mission. On your last night, your pining and his flirting finally come to a head.

I think he knows his hands around

A cold glass

Make me wanna know that body

Like it's mine

The mission was long but you were finally finished with it. Three weeks in Dallas were more than enough for you, and you were looking forward to getting home to your own bed and your own office in Kentucky. You were aching for the privacy it offered, after spending almost a month sharing a hotel room with your fellow agent. This time you’d been paired up with Agent Whiskey, and because of that you were glad the trip was almost over.

It’s not because Agent Whiskey- Jack - was incapable. Quite the opposite. He was extremely efficient and good at his job but he was also… extremely attractive. Which was a huge distraction.

You took pride in being a capable agent but Jack and his pretty face compromised that. You’ve never been in a situation like this before. Lusting over your coworker felt extremely unprofessional, but it was impossible to ignore him. He was an in-your-face kind of guy, always butting in with a comment or joke, always using his body as a weapon. He’d lounge around your shared hotel room in nothing but a thin towel, his wet hair draped across his forehead, and you swear he did it on purpose. The man knew how attractive he was and he obviously loved flaunting it.

He was tall and tan, with soft brown hair, a pair of beautiful round eyes that seemed to sparkle with amusement, and a smile that made your knees weak. The downside was that his smile made just about everyone weak. You were living in your own personal hell. Every single day having to watch Jack be attractive without even trying, and then watch as everyone in his vicinity tried to flirt with him. Tonight he was wearing a black leather jacket and extremely tight jeans, looking more like a movie star than an undercover agent. The man could pull off anything. It’s actually unfair.

You were out at some dive bar, celebrating the end to a successful mission before flying home tomorrow. It was Jack’s idea of course, but you’d agreed because you needed a stiff drink after these three long weeks and honestly you couldn’t say no to him.

“Another round, kid?”

You glanced up and saw him staring at you, a twinkle in his bright eyes. His hand gripped his empty whiskey glass and you eyed your own half-full drink. You couldn’t throw it back like him.

“I’m good for now,” you answered.

He nodded and slapped you on the shoulder as he stood up, “I’ll get you another one anyway. You better finish that by the time I get back.”

You sighed as you watched him walk away. His ass looked fantastic in those jeans. All the training and harsh exercise routines that Champ put the team through really worked for him. No wonder he could get any pretty thing he wanted.

Speaking of which, he seemed to have turned his affections on someone else. You groaned, your eyes never wavering from where Jack stood. He was currently making small talk with the pretty brunette bartender. He was giving her the full Whiskey treatment- gazing at her with those soft, mocha-colored puppy dog eyes and giving her a charming half-grin. Watching him flirt was simultaneously entertaining and torturous. He threw his head back, laughing at some dumb joke the bartender must have said, and you almost growled out loud as you hungrily stared at his neck.

Stupid horny bastard.

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans

It's like I'm seventeen, nobody understands

No one understands

You were getting really sick of hiding your partial hard-ons and jacking off in the cold shower, but everything the man did was hot. The deep voice and accent alone were enough to get you going on most days. God, you hadn’t felt like this since high school.

If Jack noticed you staring or caught on to the fact that you took extra long showers, he didn’t say anything. You were openly out at the agency and your sexuality wasn’t a secret. When you first joined the Statesmen, you felt you had something to prove at work, as if you had to demonstrate your masculinity by keeping up with the largest members of the team. But you’ve excelled in your role for years now and you were beyond proving yourself at this point. You were just glad that Agent Whiskey wasn’t one of the people who cared that you liked men.

In fact, he treated you just like he treated everyone-- this meant he wasn’t shy about flirting and teasing you. Sometimes it seemed like he was coming onto you, but you had to remind yourself that he was like that with everyone-- you weren’t special and there was no way he was actually interested.

Before falling asleep each night, you’d listen to Jack’s soft snores and run scenarios through your head of every possible way that you could share your feelings. You thought about all of the things you could say, and all of the ways Jack could react. It was agonizing but your analytical mind couldn’t stop. You wished you had the courage to just ask him out. The worst that could happen is he’d say ‘no’ and maybe request to never work with you again, but then at least you’d be free of him.

Wanna see what's under that attitude

Like, I want you, bless my soul

And I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

A loud laugh suddenly interrupted your thoughts and you looked over to the bar again. The bartender was giggling and grasping at Jack’s arm. The sight made your stomach turn, and you made a quick decision to get out of there before you had to watch them start making out over the bar.

You stepped up next to Jack and finally drew his attention away from the girl.

“Hey, hold off on my drink. I’m gonna head out,” you told him.

“What? Come on now, it’s so early!”

“Yeah. I just don’t really feel like hanging out anymore. I’ll see you back there.”

Before Jack could respond, you threw down some cash on the bar and turned away. You were already across the floor and on your way out the door when a hand on your arm stopped you.

“Hey. Are you pissed at me or something?”

“No,” you muttered, trying to ignore the shot of arousal you felt when he grabbed you, “I just don’t feel like sitting in the corner, watching you flirt with some chick.”

You tried to turn away from him, but Jack let out a quiet “ohhh” of understanding. His grip on your arm tightened.

“We’ve been on this mission for weeks now, and on our last night you finally decide to say something?” Jack laughed, turning you around so you were facing him again. He invaded your personal space, ducking his head and trailing his nose along your neck and jaw.

“What?” you asked, confused because he couldn’t possibly mean...

“You're so slow, that’s what,” Jack mumbled, his lips tracing along your neck. It felt amazing, but... was Jack- your fellow agent and known womanizer- really nuzzling your neck right now?

“I'm confused, are you really into this?” you asked again, trying to hold back a moan. Jack pulled away and looked at you with huge eyes.

“God, you’re an idiot. I've been sending you obvious signs, makin’ eyes at you and showing off what I got, and now I'm literally biting your neck, and you're still asking?” Jack said incredulously. You searched his face and saw eyes that were filled with desperation and lust.

“I just assumed…”

“I like it both ways, kid. Is that clear enough for you?”

He then took one step forward and kissed you fully on the lips. There was only a moment of shock before you melted into the kiss, pressing your bodies closer and running your hands over Jack’s shoulders and back. All of your worries disappeared then. You didn't feel the terrible anxiety that constantly filled you with dread. Your mind stopped frantically thinking about every possible worst case scenario. Everything stopped. There was only Jack.

“Oh ohhhh right. Yeah I’m an idiot,” you quietly mumbled against his lips, “Want to go back to the hotel?”

“Fuckin’ finally,” he replied with a grin.

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

So where we gonna go?

I whisper in the dark

You weren’t sure how you made it back to the hotel so quickly, but as soon as you tumbled through the door, Jack had you pinned to the bed underneath him. His hands roamed all over your torso, and he pulled the shirt over your head and tossed it aside before quickly doing the same to his own. The room was filled with your little whimpers every time Jack ground his hips against yours. You stared up at him, his lips swollen and red bitten and eyes blown with lust, and you were positive that you looked just as debauched. He looked just as beautiful hovering over you as you’d always imagined, and you wanted to feel him everywhere.

“More,” you whined, canting your hips up into Jack’s.

He groaned and trailed his hands down your chest, his fingers brushing against your nipples, causing a moan to slip from your mouth. He continued his journey down until he reached the fly of your jeans.

“Lift up,” Jack mumbled, leaning in to kiss your neck as he tried to tug your pants down. You obeyed and soon your pants and your boxers were off, leaving you completely exposed.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he moaned, his fingers barely brushing over your erection, “You’re even prettier than I thought, darlin’.”

You groaned, pushing your body closer to Jack’s. As his hand slowly learned the feel of your cock, your own hands wandered all over his body. From his strong shoulders to his muscular back, to his waist, his hips, his thick thighs. You slipped one hand into his jeans to grab his ass, finally getting the chance to touch the part of Jack’s body you’d fantasized about the most. You could feel his clothed erection rubbing against your thigh as Jack continued steadily stroking your cock.

“Jack,” you whimpered, gazing into his dark, lust-filled eyes. You were barely able to control your thoughts properly since Jack’s pace was getting quicker and way too distracting. He grinned down at you.

“This good, baby? You want it a little rougher?” he asked, a groan slipping from his lips as you squeezed his ass in response.

Jack pushed forward and kissed you harder this time, moving his hand faster along your cock. Then he kissed his way down your neck, sucking and nipping all your sensitive spots. Suddenly he bit down hard on the skin between your neck and shoulder, following it up with a long lick with his wide tongue. That show of possessiveness was enough to push you right to the edge. You cried out as pleasure tore through you, coming in ropes all over Jack’s large hand. You gasped for breath, your chest rising and falling as your head lolled against the pillows.

Jack hovered over you, continuing to kiss your neck and upper chest as you came down from your high. “I’ve been told I’m good with my hands, can I get a confirmation on that, darlin'?“ he asked with a cocky grin.

Your eyes blinked open and you smirked at him. “You’ve got the confirmation all over your hand.”

“Ooooh, so he’s mouthy all of a sudden. Guess I just had to get you in bed to see the sassy side of you, huh?” Jack tutted.

“I’ll show you mouthy,” you muttered, blushing at the stupid euphemism even as you trailed a line of kisses down Jack’s sternum and belly.

When you reached the top of his jeans, you surprised your fellow agent by flipping him over and yanking his pants down in one fluid motion. Jack growled at the switch, but when you took his cock into your mouth, he gasped and surged forward. You enjoyed the desperate moan he made as you swallowed him completely, his hips bucking into your mouth. But you wanted to take your time with this. You grasped his hip bone with one hand and held him down, before pulling off his cock and moving to lightly lick his balls. Jack was making beautiful, desperate noises and you loved the idea that this strong, confident agent was falling apart because of you. You smiled against him and swiped your tongue along the bottom of his shaft before taking him fully into your mouth again.

“Holy hell, you’re fuckin’ amazing,“ Jack groaned as you bobbed up and down on his cock, “I’m so close-”

You sucked harder and reached your other hand down to fondle his balls again as Jack thrust into your mouth. Soon he was arching forward and shouting your name. You let him come in your mouth, swallowing his seed down like it was another shot at the bar.

When you looked up at Jack from between his legs, you grinned. He had his head tilted back, one hand thrown across his mouth as he stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. When he felt your eyes on him, he looked down at you with a satisfied smile.

“Damn, that was…”

“Amazing,” you cut him off, “Even better than I imagined.”

“So you imagined it, huh?”

Unable to control the urge any longer, you leaned forward and pulled Jack into a sweet, affectionate kiss. You ran your fingers through his soft hair and you could feel him grinning the whole time. When you finally pulled back, he was still smiling but he also looked a bit confused.

“Why haven’t we done this sooner?” he asked.

“I was convinced you were straight. I’ve been a fucking mess trying to decide if I should say something or not,” you replied.

Jack hummed and reached for you, but you chuckled and pulled away.

“You need a shower,” you said, “Then we can talk some more.”

“Only if you join me, sugar...”

I want you, bless my soul

I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

[morelike-bi-light]

unplanned unexpected unwarranted vampire charlie au

au where bella decides she cant leave her dad behind like her mom did and convinces edward and carlisle to protect him too. carlisle ushers him out of the house and explains things to him, providing proof as needed - as much as he can. they go to arizona to hide out, charlie stumbling over his words to convince renee that he and bella were threatened and are in enough danger to need to hide out in a different state.

bella still gets the phone call, and renee doesn't answer when either of them call. when the others are distracted, she still gets away to meet james, but when the cullens go to save her, charlie's waiting outside with esme and rosalie (who are guarding him on the road instead). victoria is there too - and she gives them more trouble than they anticipated. emmett and jasper are distracted by the redhead and the noises from inside the studio getting louder and more concerning by the second.

when a scream rings out — he's never heard bella sound like this, not even when she was a mousy little girl buried under his seahawks baseball cap far too big for her head — charlie can't help but wrench open the door and run inside. his baby is cowering away from a bloodthirsty monster and there's not even a pause in his step as he sprints over to shield her form with his own, squeezing her against his chest and praying for the first time since he heard she wanted to come up to forks for the rest of school

his prayer's interrupted by a loud shattering sound and a malicious laugh. "aw, look at that! daddy's trying to save you. what a noble, pointless sacrifice!" a smack like stone hitting stone. "well far be it from me to deny a man his dying wish."

he doesn't hear what he says next - he doesn't hear anything, or see anything, because everything is white and sharp and pain, burning like a star, blooming in the crevice where his shoulder meets his collarbone. nothing exists right then but the cold fire in his skin, burrowing in his bone. it feels like hours before anything changes. the first thing to slip through is wet on his cheek and cool hands scrabbling to clutch at his.

"dad! dad!" bella? "edward! carlisle! anybody, any of you, please, I need help! my dad — needs help!" a hand on his cheek, trembling and frantic. "dad just hang in there! somebody help us!"

his fingers twitch, stretching towards her. "bella —you okay — bells — "

"im okay! im okay, im so sorry, dad, im so sorry! im sorry, it shouldnt have been you — this is all my fault — edward! edward please, you have to help him!"

hers is still the only voice he can discern but there are more emerging, blending together but getting closer. he catches snatches of words like 'bit', and 'spread', and 'minutes', and 'sorry', and 'safety'. a pale shape stands at the edge of his vision, and at once he's lifted from the floor. he convulses, eliciting another audible choke from his sweet daughter, and he recognizes a familiar, soothing voice from above.

"we can't stay here..."

"what? what do you mean?"

"we'll bring him back with us..."

"what are you going to do?"

"let him take him, bella, please"

"we'll watch over him, i promise."

"Im not leaving him, i can't just let him go!"

"i promise," softer. "jasper — will he sleep?"

the world softens and fully crumbles away. there's nothing left. nothing but fire.

time doesn't exist here, but then the fire, it doesn't go out. yet it stops hurting. it stops eating. it starts feeding. a single thought pops into his head that will make no sense to him when he recalls it later — a weary 'oh. i see.'

three days after the ballet studio, he wakes up to a brown popcorn ceiling. he blinks. he can see every crack and cranny in the plaster.

"mr. swan?" a tinkling voice says, and he sits up. "good, I thought you'd be up." the little black haired cullen girl beams up at him, chipper but sorry. her hand is curled around his wrist. "bella will be back any moment, and carlisle soon after. they're just across the hall, actually. he says we'll need to look after you for a while, just in case, —"

she pauses, just soon enough to avoid being interrupted by the sound of beeping and pressing keys and the door swinging open. bella is whole and wonderful — he can see every inch of her and she's really actually fine, not even a scratch — and she freezes seeing him but then she's flinging herself forward, pale face contorting

"dad—!"

"b-bells," he stands up, quickly, too quickly, to meet her, tugging alice along with him, but edward catches his girlfriend's hand and holds her back as he voices her objections to her entering at all. charlie scowls at first, when a scent reaches his nose — a smell that might've made his stomach growl if it could. his eyes cast up in open question.

edward is stiff, eyes looking conflicted but legs poised to pounce. "it's her."

"oh." charlie shifts uncomfortably on his feet, properly spooked, willing the despairing thirst away. as moments pass since making the connection, the scent of blood — of food — fades, to the point he can hardly detect it at all. it's a sharp relief.

"you — how do you feel," bella forces out, eyes locked with his with an uncomfortable intensity that makes him squirm and anxiously rake a hand through his hair. carlisle and the others filter in behind her and he's grateful for something else to look at, now he knows she's safe.

"better," he settles on. "than before, I mean. was that — did —" he waits for someone to interrupt him and fill him in, but it's quiet. "are you okay?"

a bark of laughter bursts from her chest and she assures him she's fine, eyes wide and brows furrowed like she can't believe he's a real person, the way she gets sometimes when he says something so awkward and sincere it makes her want to groan. but she doesn't want to groan anymore. instead she's torn between crying and singing.

"what do you remember?" carlisle asks, gently stepping forward, his gaze a mix of clinical fascination, wary confusion, and personal concern. charlie would flush beneath it... but the heat never comes to his cheeks.

"exactly how much are you looking for," he grumbles. "last thing i recall..." no need to go into the pain. "finding bella with that... guy at the studio."

"just finding her?"

"trying to protect her," he amends, focused on avoiding everyone's gaze. "and... it was..." then he notices how much there is to see, even when hes trying not to look at anything. he frowns. absorbing this much — it feels like a headache, minus the pain itself. overload. "it was him wasnt it. he bit me"

esme and jasper nod, but carlisle and bella just look away, the brunette visibly cringing. edward's jaw tightens, and for some inexplicable reason, the sight of that is what makes it all click for him.

"so," he fumbles for a second, but the word comes out so clean and sure when he says it, not at all like he feels. his mouth is physically incapable of tripping over itself like hes used to, no stammer, no stumbling. he grimaces and all the muscles pull exactly like he intends them too. he shakes his head. "he bit me. and? can i assume that's what's got me feeling so weird? the... some sort of effect of the bite?"

bella doesnt answer. neither does carlisle. surprisingly, it's that blonde girl that replies, though not to him.

"show him," she says, and after a moment, esme creeps forward, gesturing for his hand. he hesitates, but takes it. edward shifts to place bella behind him, as if she needs to be protected from him the way charlie protected her from james, a move that breaks his heart. gently, esme maneuvers him over to the bathroom. she turns on the lights, though she didn't really need to. he blinks. red. in the middle of a face with skin more suited to a shelf at a morgue than the tasteful backsplash of the bathroom, framed with dark, curling, concerningly long lashes, his irises were red. that wasn't it, either.

"am i..." he huffed. "am i seeing things, or am i way better looking than usual?"

a ripple of good humor disturbs the room, from esme's warm giggle, to a watery chuckle from bella, to a great, booming crow from emmett.

"way to focus on what's important, chief," alice nods, at the man's back in an instant. she doesn't sound nearly as sarcastic as those words should warrant. "finally, a man after my own heart."

"wait till you try running for the first time," emmett interjects, joining her behind him. "mind, blown."

some of the other family members sigh and shake their heads. charlie runs his eyes along his sharper jaw, still sprinkled with the stubble he'd acquired in the preceding chaos, now even and almost roguish where before hes pretty sure it made him look old and unkempt. he looks younger, he thinks, not young exactly, but good. better than his age.

he pulls away from his reflection, eyes flickering from face to face around him. he might even have said that he fit in with the mythically beautiful family. hes struck by how silly he was to dismiss the strangeness of the gorgeous, antisocial group out of hand, now that he sees how strange he's become himself, before his eyes fall to his daughter.

"im sorry dad" she mumbles, humor evaporating, and a pain resounds like a crack in his chest.

slowly, carefully, he moves forward, and the rest of the vampires stand on high alert as they realize what he's about to do. bella's eyes are bloodshot and he presses his lips together in a bittersweet line as he wraps her in his arms and tucks her close, just under his chin. a shudder runs down his spine as a phantom pain ghosts over his shoulder, but he brushes it aside and it evaporates like water. when he breathes in, she smells the way she always has, and he is not hungry.

"it's okay, kiddo. we'll get through this. im just glad you're okay."

and they do. charlie's vampiric powers are related to shielding, like his daughter, but his are more like putting things on mute, if that makes sense. small things, obviously, and usually physical. he's got a great deal more resistance to thirst than most newborns, for example, because it's muted by his powers, particularly for those he cares about. unfortunately this makes it likelier for him to, uh, die of thirst, as it's possible for him to forget to feed. and he can't block edward from hearing his thoughts completely, but they're muffled naturally by his powers (and always will be. hes not helping anyone into his head any time soon, especially not his daughter's boyfriend). he can also mute his own scent to the shapeshifters — which means he and billy, after things are all sorted, will still be able to hang out and be best friends!! he can also mute his own footsteps,

anyways this started as a meme post intending to go into how comedic it would be if charlie got changed and bella spent the rest of the series complaining that edward wanted to spend the rest of eternity with her father but not with her but then i got struck with some mad charlie feels and this happened so anyways vampire!charlie everyone @charlieswanismyrealdad @effervescent-emmett @cullen-trash @emmettmccartycullen @jaspell @leahclearwaterdefensesquad is this anything

[ketchup-monthly]

Sanders Sides D&D 2

Ooh fresh take: Jan is virge’s patron and that’s why there’s beef

Also: Jan is some sort of fae related being

Jan: i need you to do something for me Virgil: no Janus: that's not how this works!! Virgil: watch me :P

Okay so I was thinking of Patton as a cleric cuz ooh healer however, Patton as a Druid makes me so happy

I want logan to have Rage

(Also that could tie nicely in an arc about Logan learning to accept feelings)

but barbarian logan is going to be a scholar again and is gonna be smort

bc hes logan. he cant be not smart

Oh I figured he’d be the bbeg that eventually joins the party (hurt/comfort baybee!)(Remus)

he was the bbeg but then joined the party as a bardbarian or just a bard

plus, actual bard who accidentally casts vicious mockery instead of bardic inspiration

Side note: please include a scene where Remus attempts to seduce the dragon

also with this second au, i can start them at like level 5 so people can multiclass

Pat as cleric/druid

gasp logan as artificer/barbarian

janus sorcerer/rogue

because basically everything but alchemist would work well with barbarian, but alchemist feels very Logan

bc mad scientist being actually mad

alchemist logan making an experimental potion and going "here im not sure what this does but im sure its fine! someone drink it"

Remus does it voluntarily, but Logan usually tries to get Roman to drink it

Virgil will occasionally drink it when he's on his last legs and is just like.....100% done with the party

remus as a wild magic path barbarian and just fucking teleporting or doing something equally ridiculous whenever he rages

Oh my god Remus with rage would be a force to be reckoned with

You gotta describe the first time he goes into a rage really dramatically

obviously virgil is trying to "escape" his patron, Janus (really just do whatever he says to not do out of spite)

Eldritch knight roman

Feywild warlock virgil

hey so in the second d&d au, should roman and remus be actual full siblings but like remus went darkside and like romans just trying to get back at him for putting a dark stain on the family name

hey hey hey what about warforged Logan? (essentially a robot)(so like "i dont feel anything" becoming real)

okay hear me out. elf roman and elf base simic hybrid remus. so like maybe the reason remus went darkside was experimentation? so like. hes elf but special

FALLEN AASIMAR VIRGIL

virgil just transforming in the middle of a combat scenario and like his eyes turn into black pits and flightless skeletal wings appear on his back and like everyone near him has to make a charisma check and like he deals extra necrotic damage

Pat is the one human stuck in a band of misfits

so with it, roman would be a full elf, and remus would be an elf that has tentacles bc octopus

So robot logan

i meant literally he doesnt feel anything

like he has all the emotions, but he doesnt physically feel the need to like eat or sleep or stuff like that

he just.....he pretend he don't have the feelings.....but he do.....he feel so much and he hides it all in his littol mechanical heart <3

plus......if he warforged, then like.....AC huge

he stands in front of friends.....he protecc...."no, i don't have feelings, i am physically incapable of affection" but he do!! he do! he take hits for them because he do!! he care so much

Bro he spouts all this and then he uses a reaction to dive in front of someone and everyone’s just like oh

LIKE ROMAN STILL BEING MEAN TO LO BC HE THINKS HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE A HEART BUT HE DOES

hey hey everyone needs to grow

and logan standing up for himself and other people stepping in and saying no stop thats not right

plus if canon wont give me roman facing the consequences of his actions towards Logan......

but also Roman learning how to properly handle his own emotions and how he interacts with others

logan who doesn't view himself as anything more than a machine to be useful to others

the party giving logan love and affection until he slowly learns his own worth as a person

Roman and Logan not getting along (maybe Roman has a Lore reason to distrust Warforged, maybe not) and slowly learning to trust each other

when Logan is feeling real down or having some issue, Roman actually comes through to help him, showing how far both characters have come

Okay yes but also can we please give Roman more confidence than canon? Like I’m sooooo sick of low self esteem being played for laughs or just being really really sad

this boy is going on a mission and will slap his brother upside the head and tell him to shut tf up remus youre not a monster just come back home and he will do it alone if need be

OKAY SO WHAT IF HE ORIGINALLY WENT ON THE QUEST JUST TO STOP REMUS ONCE AND FOR ALL BC ROMAN THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER, BUT ALONG THE WAY, AND AFTER LOGAN, HE CAME TO REALIZE THAT NO, JUST BECAUSE REMUS (AND LOGAN) ARE DIFFERENT, THEY ARENT MONSTERS, JUST DIFFERENT

AND LIKE IN THE FINAL PUSH TO MAKE REMUS JOIN BACK WITH HIS BROTHER, ROMAN IS PROJECTING HIS OWN FEELINGS ONTO REMUS AND EVERYONE IS LIKE WOW BRO YOU GOOD THERE, BUT ITS A BIG MOMENT FOR LOGAN, ROMAN, AND REMUS

im unsure as to how, but it happened when he was an older teen/young adult. a simic scientist either picked him (read: kidnapped), or remus volunteered (potentially to escape court life, unaware what exactly the experiment was going to do to him physically

bc also, remus and roman are royalty

so like. how best to get at the nobes/royalty/rich famous people than by turning their kid into a monster

wait, wait, wait, because i'm lowkey a sucker for this trope, but i'm not sure if it fits Remus: the experiments left him with some fairly significant physical pain/uncontrolled magical reactions. through some combo of trying to deal with that and trying find a cure for his pain, he keeps like....absolutely wrecking random towns on accident but also deliberately wrecking certain places looking for either a) vengeance on the guy(s) responsible or b) someone who can make the pain stop

SO LIKE. WILD MAGIC BARBARIAN DOING WEIRD SHIT TO HIM WHENEVER HE RAGES

AND LOGAN COULD MAYBE HELP WITH THE PAIN AND SHIT

BC ALCHEMY

Yknow, for simplification purposes, we could say the True Bbeg just gave Remus lycanthropy and Remus hasn’t managed to control it yet

lycanthropy but simic shit?

Mr. I-Don't-Have-Feelings sees the poor dude in pain and also Roman in emotional pain from seeing his brother in pain and is absolutely like "i must resolve this like right now, immediately" because he definitely doesn't hate seeing his friend suffering, or his friend's brother whom he's just met

he definitely doesn't relate at all to the idea of someone else shaping your body and absolutely does not sympathize with Remus's plight

i was thinking the grappling thing and either manta glide or the ability to breathe underwater for the simic stuff, but like he doesnt have control over the tentacles yet?

Manta glide seems like we could have fun battle scenes

he just jumps off a cliff to avoid mushy talk/dealing with his actions/roman

Roman: Remus just because you're a monster and though i wish i was an only child-- Remus, jumping off a cliff: byyeeeeee Patton: Roman, look what you did! Virgil: dammit jan what did you do? Janus: why do you think i had anything to do with that? im a fae, not a genie Logan, thinking: what an asshole. i wish i could do that

oh my god Logan always being tired mentally bc he cant sleep

Oh my gosh I love that. So Remus got kidnapped super young, (from royal family) they never found him, as a result Roman had to grow up super fast (side effect: lowkey inconsiderate and forgets to ask for others input). Meanwhile, Remus was experimented on by True Bbeg and came out with some trauma and super cool additives

yep! chronic pain and ptsd and all sorts of other shit!

so like, simic hybrids are usually created when they're adults. but what if the true bbeg decided to go younger to see what would happen, and thats why remus has chronic pain and stuff

he was still growing when his genes were spliced, so hes dealing with growth plates shifting and his body maturing and puberty and body changes and stuff

Pat is going to have a lighthearted story. Im saying that now. Hes the one without all the baggage

Sure, but his parents have to lowkey be the really kind people who are surprisingly always down for violence

everyone: multiple crises Pat: y'all need help Pat: love and affection in spades for his little band of misfits

Patton (which I think would be pretty simple, honestly he might just see danger and jump in and suddenly everyone in the party has Feelings)

Logan

Mhm. So how did he grow up? Was he just poof created? Wait

What if he was created by the king?

To make up for remuss disappearance

wait, wait....angst......he was created to fight (hence the barbarian stuff) but alchemy is his real passion

wait so like. a second son???

hes there to replace remus?

Yea! (But like in a sympathetic grief way) But that causes a bit of a complex in Roman and ergo Roman and Logan have a bit of a beef

okay so like. hes there to be a companion for roman, and like take remus' place, even though hes not actually in line for the throne?

LOGAN AS A KNIGHT

and just......the conflict of being created for a specific purpose (plus being, you know, robot and technically incapable of deviated from said purpose) vs the fact that he actually does have independent consciousness and like....wants to live life for himself

the parents made Logan a barbarian in hopes that him and Roman would be safe

okay. so logan was created by the king with the sole purpose to take remus' place as romans brother/companion, and to be his like guard? protector? and fight, but logan wants to be an alchemist and study shit

wait, wait, wait.....thinks about Asimov's Laws

he.....his first operative is protect (specifically protect Roman)

oh man. so hes literally just a shield

his second level operative is just like.....care for Roman's emotional well-being, but he doesn't really know emotions because he was kinda just spawned and nobody told him how

and he just....kind of....lets Roman treat him like garbage and take all his grief out on him because he's staunchly in denial of both having feelings or knowing how they work

Anyway Yea so Logan created by royal family in place of Remus which created angst between the two “brothers” and identity issues in Logan. Their arcs are learning how to healthily process emotions plus Roman apology and Logan commits to alchemy

So big question: why did virge make a deal?

Tricked

he gave janus his name

and instead of janus like killing him or whatever the fae do to people who break the rules of dealing with the fae, jan was like. hey. i'll give you magic, but do what i say

Janus is lawful neutral, but leans towards being selfish

hes self serving, but he has a strong set of morals and rules he follows

Tho I want to Virgil to also not be pushover so let’s say loophole happened and Jan has to stay with virge (hence why Jan is a part of the party)

okay so a couple of the rules are dont give a fae your true name and don't try to figure out their true name

So

what if virgil accidentally gave up part of his true name, and got stuck in the deal, but then figured out janus' true name

so in the same vein that janus had control over virgil, virgil now has more control over janus

he still gets his magic from janus, so he cant break free completely, but virgil has more freedom and can occasionally tell janus what to do or when to shove it

there should a running gag where virge can explain how he learned Jan’s true name but Jan can make something loudly censor him every time

(he learned his name bc once he heard janus practicing his evil genius voice and talking to himself in the mirror and janus said his true name)

so maybe janus sent virgil on the quest to protect a town or stop something related to remus, but virgil dragged him along

he might just be trying to protect a town thats close to a ley line, or something fae-related, and they just happen upon the whole thing

janus is selfish. but lawful vs chaotic is where he comes through, in morals vs doing whatever. janus has a strong set of loyalties to the fae, and to himself

so like....Remus is just too close to Jan's stuff and he wants to take him down

Virgil is just like....exhausted and said "fine, but if i gotta do this, you're coming, too"

or at least figure out a way to protect his place, even if it doesnt mean fully taking out remus. just moving him would work for jan

Janus: virgilllllllllll hes going to mess up my magic storage locker Virgil: Jan, its empty Janus: but its mine

Yea. Remus attacks a city away from the fae: Jan: Yknow I’m gonna sit this one out Virge: oh no you don’t, get up

Or

Janus vs Janice

so his real name is Janus, but Virgil calls him Janice

Virgil: This is Janice Janice: with a “U-S” Virgil: mhm, sure Jan

I'm a big fan of just like any of the old theory name being various aliases for Jan

Damien, Dante, Ethan, Declan, etc, etc

[janaeekook]

Incapable ii. || {myg}

“You cant love Min Yoongi, he doesn’t know how to love. Or care for that matter. You’ll just end up getting hurt.”

pairing: assassin!yoongi x reader

word count: 2.4k

warnings: - mafia - depictions of death -

series masterlist

ii.

"This morning I received this." Namjoon spoke handing his phone around the room.

Unknown- You spill our blood, we spill yours.

"That's for rat face?" You asked,

"Has to be." Jin spoke.

"Taehyung do you think you could pull information from it?" Namjoon asked the tired looking, fluffy haired boy.

"I can try." He took the phone starting to get to work on it.

"Alright, Y/n, Jimin, get A-team together, gather as much information as possible." You both nodded, heading to the east wing to retrieve the 4 members of the A-team, Jeonghan, Jen, Win, and Kai. The members of army bowed to us as we entered, heading to the common room were you found the 4 sitting on the couch.

"Y/n, Jimin." Jeonghan stood quickly bowing which the rest of them followed.

"There's no need for formalities with me." You chuckled hugging him and Kai, You turned to Jen trapping her in a hug, Win who stood next to her smiled at you before you also gave him a hug, "I hope you've all been well, Namjoon gave us a casual intelligence mission."

Jimin handed Jeonghan a manila folder, his eyes skimmed over the pages before his eyes flicked back up to Jimin, "Is this all we have?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Taehyung is working on gathering more remotely, but they're good, they know how to cover their tracks." Jeonghan nodded at Jimin’s words before handing the folder to the other three.

"The Russian mafia? Why would they be in Seoul?" Win asked.

"Wouldnt be much of a mission if we knew right?" You jokingly poked fun at Win, He punched your arm lightly.

"Lets get going as soon as possible, we dont want to waste anytime." Kai said handing the folder back to Jimin.

Jeonghan nodded, "10 minutes, we'll meet at the entrance."

•

You tied your hair back and away from your face before leaving your room and heading for the main staircase, but the second you stepped into the hallway you collided with someone's chest.

The hands gripping your hips lingering longer than they should, the tips of the fingers constricting ever so slightly into your hips. You looked up your breath catching in your throat Yoongi's cold eyes stared back into your own, cheeks ablaze. Your skin all too aware of how he was holding onto your sides before they fell away.

"Uh, sorry." You hurried quickly away from him and down the stairs, not wishing him to know how much power he had over you. Or better yet read you like a book and know you'd fantasized about his hands on you the night before.

Yoongi watched you scurry down the steps. He had felt you shrink beneath his solid gaze, He felt you melt in his grasp, He had felt the control he had over you the brief moment you were in his hands and deep down he wanted more though he'd never admit it.

Jeonghan handed you an earpiece, you put it in your ear before going over the plan, "We're starting downtown dont draw attention to yourselves, you can't forget we're still highly wanted suspects by the government, and keep your eyes open. Understand?"

"Loud and clear." Jen said.

Jimin spoke next, "Alright, Kai and myself will be together, then with Y/n and Jeonghan, Jen and Win do you think you can handle yourselves on your own?" The two only nodded, they were experienced and used to working alone anyway.

You looked to your side peering up at Win, he glanced down at you and smiled. You all did a special handshake you made up years ago in training before heading out the door.

"Hey," a voice stopped you in your tracks, you turned around to see Jungkook, he wore a low V-neck shirt which exposed his tattoos that designed his neck and chest; complimenting  the sleeve running down his right arm. You told the others you'd be right out and turned your attention to Jungkook. He was a very attractive young man, you had found yourself tangled up in sheets with him on more than one occasion but nothing had ever been made official, it was more of a stress reliever than anything.

"Hey." You said with a smile which he quickly returned.

"Be safe alright?" He told you.

"Always am." This caused him to smile wider, before pressing a soft kiss on your forehead, and without another word you made your way out the door to join the team.

"What's up with that?" Win looked to you with a raised eyebrow.

"What?"

"Jungkook?"

"Its nothing." You said with a smile, playfully punching his arm.

"Hey just looking out for you." He said flashing you another priceless smile before climbing into the vehicle. You sighed, following after him.

•

It had been 2 hours since you started to search, you walked around the streets with Jeonghan. He was quite a bit taller than you, he wore a baseball cap that shadowed his face, a man bun tied at the base of his neck due to his long hair.

"That man, all black straight a head." He suddenly stated, his eyes narrowing at the suspicious looking man.

"You got something?" Jen's voice came through the ear piece.

"We're on the main road, it's a bit crowded but I've got my eyes on him, we'll tail him." Jeonghan said, the man was thin, if his behavior weren't so odd you'd probably look right over him. "He just turned left at the bbq shop, he seems to be headed towards the docks."

"Headed that way." Win spoke.

You and Jeonghan reached the corner the man had turned down, Kai and Jimin were there as well. Jeonghan looked around the corner before waving us on.

"Keep your guards up." You spoke in a hushed tone. We all continued down the rather quiet road compared to the bustling road you'd just come from, the dock ahead was old and rundown unlike central ports. An abandoned factory you'd assumed, stood at the end of it, all the windows boarded, moss stretching up the old concrete and rusted metal.

"Well that's not sketchy." Jimin stated from behind you.

"Spread out, surround the perimeter see if there's anything of concern." You suggested and everyone nodded continuing forward before splitting to circle the aged building, Win stayed at the front watching over the building and studying the main entrance.

You walked around, Jeonghan still at your side, The sloshing of the ocean to your right and the monstrous building to your left.

"Anything?" Kai asked through the ear piece.

"Negative, Jen?" Jeonghan said.

"Nothing here."

"It doesn't make sense for there to be nothing, circle back around to Win. Win you have anything at the front?" Jeonghan asked, he was answered with silence, "Win, do you copy?" His question was met with another chilling silence. A blood curdling scream came from the direction we had come, you and Jeonghan looked at each other before taking off in a sprint.

You found Jen on her knees sobbing in front of Win, blood spilled from his throat staining his shirt before it seeped into the fine cracks of the concrete around him, forever stained a rusty red puddled that began to encircle his head. Your stomach lurched at the sight, the choked noises as he tried to find his breath but only finding his blood which was suffocating him slowly. An odd looking weapon still stuck in his chest, ungodly amounts of blood spilling from his fatal wounds, you felt frozen as he choked on his own blood. What could you do? Could you do anything? You felt utterly hopeless, fear clawing at the back of your mind, you didn't want to lose someone else, but what could you do?

You willed yourself to move but your feet didn't budge, Jens hands frantically trying to cover his wounds, to cease the blood from evading his body. Your eyes finally met his, softening upon seeing you, you'd bet you'd looked rather like a deer in headlights. His lips shook as he continually struggled for breath, but he managed to quirk them upwards the slightest bit, as if to tell you it was ok before you watched in horror and unexplainable helplessness as his eyes rolled back into his head, his chest no longer rising and falling, in an attempt to take in stuttered uneven breaths.

"No." You whispered, not wanting to believe the sight before you.

"No." It couldn't be Win.

"No." There was no way he could be dead.

Your mind couldn't process it; that he now laid there, no light, no life behind his eyes. Gone. Warmth fading from his skin.

Jen wrapped her arms around his body, You took stumbled steps towards her pulling her up into your chest, She continued to sob, gripping at the back of your shirt with her blood stained hands. Win had been with us for as long as you could remember, you stared at his pale face before allowing a single tear to fall. You looked around for any sign of the person who'd taken your friends life.

"I-Its my fault! I-I sh-should've stayed with him." Jen cried into your chest, you closed your eyes more tears slipping over your cheeks.

"No, Its not your fault. None of us could've known." You spoke softly into her ear, stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her down. When in reality your mind was just as frantic as hers, you mind begging for Wins eyes to open and tell you he was alright.

But he wasn't, the blood being evidence to that. It was real. Painfully, brutally real.

"We need to get him out of here." You told Jimin still holding onto Jen.

"I'll call Jungkook." Jimin said, his face seemed as shocked as the rest of us. No one had ever been able to sneak up on Win before or land an attack on their own, the person who did this had to have been very skilled.

•

You sat silently in the passenger seat, Jungkook driving. When Jimin had called him he thought it had been you that got hurt, although he was relieved, he had just lost another brilliant gunman. It was only the two of you in the car, the others had been taken in another one.

"You alright?" He finally broke the silence, his tone was soft.

"Ya, nothing I haven't seen before." You bit the inside of your cheek, trying desperately to bite back the tears that threatened to spill.

"It was Win, y/n." His tone dropped lower, you didn't want to respond for fear of your voice breaking. When you joined, you spent most of your time with Win, Jeonghan, Jen and Kai. They were your best friends and they got you through a lot.

It was quiet the rest of the way home, when Jungkook pulled up you jumped out walking up the steps and pushing the door open. You headed straight for the stairs not acknowledging the eyes of everyone on you as you came through the door.

"Y/n." You looked over your shoulder to see Jungkook and the others looking at you, "Where are you going?"

"Bed."

"It's 3 o'clock, Y/n." His tone remained soft.

"I'm tired." You stated, mentally cursing at yourself for allowing your voice to break. You hurried up the steps and to your room, shutting the door behind you and sliding down the dark wood as your body shook with each silent sob that racked your body.

•

"Y/n? Why didn't you save me?" The blood ran from his throat, soaking his all white clothing in dark crimson.

"I-I'm Sorry."

"Do you know what it feels like to have your throat slit?"

"N-no."

"Maybe I should show you then-"

You screamed yourself awake, it carried through the whole house. Hot tears spilled down your cheeks as you sobbed, the crown of your head littered with beads of sweat as anxiety ripped at you. The door to your bedroom swung open. Jungkook was the first one in followed by your brother and the others. Namjoon's eyes softened at the sight of you, he hurried over pulling you into a hug.

"Shhh, it's ok." He caressed you're hair in a soothing way.

"J-joonie, it was awful."

"It was just a dream, you're safe." He whispered, you looked over his shoulder, everyone's faces filled with worry, even Yoongi. You let your glistening eyes linger on his, "Get some rest ok?" Namjoon asked, pulling himself away from the embrace, you grabbed his wrist.

"Stay."

He sighed, "I've got work to do, y/n." You pouted.

"I can stay." Jungkook spoke from behind Namjoon, who now looked at Jungkook questioningly, "I'll watch over her."

"Is that alright?" Namjoon turned whispering to you, You nodded, he gave your hand a squeeze and smiled sadly at you. He remembered you getting nightmares when you were younger, and having to hold you until you fell back asleep, he wished he could be there for you like back then but his work called. He lead everyone out of the room to continue their prior activities. When the door had shut Jungkook immediately climbed into the bed next to you, propping his elbow on the pillow next to yours, resting his head in his hand.

"You alright?" He asked, you laid on your back staring at the ceiling.

"It was just a bad dream." You told him, not wanting to elaborate. He simply hummed in understanding, "did you get any information off the weapon?" You asked quietly fiddling with the sheets in your hand.

"We don't have to talk about that, y/n." He spoke soothingly.

"I want to know, Jungkook, please." You turned your head to look him in the eye, letting him know you were serious.

"Well, while you were asleep, I began to analyze it. It's an oddly shaped knife, the letters N-C-T were carved into the handle. They seemingly want us to know who they are, but the question we're trying to figure out now is, why?"

"N-C-T? Who are they?" You questioned but Jungkook shrugged.

"Beats me, they seem to be another group and we can't underestimate them anymore," He spoke as he played with the ends of your hair, "You should get some more sleep."

You nodded, though deep down you knew you'd wouldnt be able to fall back asleep; That your subconscious would only torment you. He put his arm around your body, your mind wandering, feeling miles away from your physical body. The thoughts left in your mind turned over again and again; Who was NCT? What are they looking for? What are they trying to prove?

taglist: @art-myg @hwaddict @ahgasearmyfan @gee-nee @janeelizabeth1216 @elliegrace1999tvd @sunnynxy @boba-king-iroh @deathkat657

[sweetmisschesire]

Pt 2

Maysibelle (mayday)

Mayday is the last fight before eve

So the fight starts with her singing and the brothers blasting their way in

Since they dont have a guitar player they just sort of use some recordings they render to their liking to make up for it

So in their interruption imagine it like the Highway to Hell opera video, only right before the singing of the rock song starts maysibelle stops the music by snapping her fingers

She has both those mannequins neon j made for her and actual people dancing

After she stopped the music the dancers stopped with the human dancers moving off to the side of the ballroom for their own safety

This is the dress she is wearing

And this is the mask

And hair

(She speaks in an aloof, emotionless tone)

“Ah so this is the infamous duo who don’t know their place”

(Z is zuke w is west)

W: and what exactly is our place

“Away from these districts, learning how to play respectable music”

Z: you all need to come off it already, what do you have against rock?

“It boisters itself as superior in music and yet now look at it. Only the talentless dare practice it. “

W: me thinks the lady doth protest too much

“How dare you. Leave, now.”

Z: sorry but not without this district

*laughter* “very well then have at you”

So the video i linked before with the three songs is what plays during her battle

(This is not a fun fight for west, gotta add some humor)

While she sings west and zuke have to dodge the mannequins as they dance towards them as a attack

They find out they’re mannequins when a mask gets knocked of one of them leaving the oulines of pupiless eyes on a blank face

W: mannequins why mannequins?

Z: seriously those things still freak you out?!

W: yes! Especially ones that dance on their own!

They also keep getting hit by something they cant really see

Zuke: what the heck is going on what is even hitting us

W: she’s got nice pipes though, but we can play better

The next phase starts with the second song and after theyve beaten the mannequins, with a head of one being knocked into her mask damaging it

The mannequins are cleared out and some life sized marrionettes drop down

W: it gets worst! Please no dolls.

Her costume in this phase is this (it was under her dress)

And both her and the marrionette dance ballet as she sings

The difference here is the marionettes will lift up and drop down so they have to watch the shadows to see where they land

This is also how they start understanding what’s hitting them

Z: *watches a shadow fly towards his brother and hit him* so that’s what been hitting us? Bro! Watch for all the shadows on the floor, i think that’s what was getting us in the last phase!

W: why am i the one she keeps aiming for?! Lady lay off already!

Z: bigger target?

They cut down the marionettes from their strings leaving them useless with west panicking when one touches him and throwing it at maysibelle, fracturing her mask more

“I’ll get you for that.”

W: you’ve literally been going mostly after me already!

(She changes her costume during the convo, she walks behing a screen and steps out in it)

“As your brother said you are indeed the larger target. And your brother has been far more respectful than you.”

W: hey

Z: she’s kind of right though

The skirt is a bit shorter covering her feet bit easy to move in

No assistance this time though she has fans she throws that are weapons and they still have to dodge the mystery attack

At one point dk west trips over a doll that somehow lands on the floor

W: *screams*

“..... it’s just a doll. And don’t you dare break her.

Z: bro we’ve gotta do something about this fear of yours

The end of this phase after they’ve hit her enough ends with wth west knocking on of her fans back into her mask which is now covered in cracks

“Are you incapable of anything but disrespect?”

W: are you capable of talking like you can feel emotions?

“Perhaps i should hit you harder?”

Z: you are just on fire today bro

W: what she acts and talks like she can’t feel anything

“Emotions are meant to be controlled, it is inappropriate to let others see you in such a state.”

W:...

Z:... what

W: you know you would probably have an easier time telling people how you feel eithout that mask

“Don’t you dare to touch it! I am never to show my face in public!”

Z: okay this is getting a bit uncomfortable

W: what kind of messed up logic is that?

“I don’t expect you to understand his teachings. Nor do i expect you to understand that you two could never power Vinyl City!”

W: says you and every other so called artist. Can’t wait to prove you all wrong

“I’ve had just about enough of you. Since you’ve made it further than i thought capable, allow me to show you my true power. Bask in trance techno opera, all i was ever born to do.”

Z: alright now it’s really uncomfortable

She walks behind another screen and steps out in this

The lights center on her and the brothers can make out this black smoke like mist surrounding her a bit

She moves her hands to the start of her phantom of the opera performance and the mist moves with her

Z: that’s what was hitting us before?!

As she sings she sends out this mist that is basically like energy and they have to dodge it while attacking her

They get to the lull in the song with no singing

Z: whoever you’re doing this for you dont have to

West isnt quite following yet

“Hmm, charming. I do this because i must. But since you seem to love doling out advice, allow me to return the favor.”

“Apologize. She deserves that much from you, and more.”

Zuke is surprised by this and maysibelle gets in a hit as she goes back to singing

W: maybe focus on the fight instead of small talk?

Z: ...

W: seriously she’s just messing with ya

Z: no she’s not. I know exactly who she’s talking about

It takes a lot to get through this fight and maysibelle actually shows some signs of anger and frustration before immediately pushing them down

This is where west starts picking up on something being wrong with her

Towards the end of the song they work their way up to her and zuke manages to push though and smash his drumsticks down

Hebhad been aiming for her microphone but accidentally hit her mask finallt shattering it

The music stops as she screams and drops to her knees covering her face

W: woah man that was a bit much don’t you think? You coulda broker her nose

Z: I don’t think that’s the reason she screamed.

He notices some of the people left are peering over and sees the cameras oving to see her better

Z: *frowning* do you all not know how to respect someone’s privacy?!

They back off a bit startled at him zuke picks up a cloak that came off a mannequin from earlier and drapes it over her

Maysibelle readjusts it so the hood shrouds her face completely she grasps at the shards of her mask trying to put it back together

“can’t let them see can’t let them see can’t let them see”

W: okay what is wrong with-

Z: west don’t. Look i have no idea why you think those things. There’s nothing wrong with your emotions or the way you look

“How would you know? You’ve no experience of them.”

Z: yeah but do you either?

*voice quivers, but still remains emotionless not crying* I don’t remember my face. It’s been so long.”

W: how do you not-

Z: west. Just...why? Why not let yourself feel or show?

“I’m not allowed.”

Zuke moves towards her but she cuts him off

“Leave. I don’t need your pity.”

Z: that’s not what i-

“I said go.”

The two leave her ballroom and she calls out to them still gripping her mask pieces

“Remember to apologize. You owe her so much.”

Interlude

Z: that was super uncomfortable

Kliff appears

“What was uncomfortable?”

West goes to answer but zuke cuts him off

Z: the walk back, the fight was really exauhsting so it was uncomfortable wslk back

West gives he brother a loo and kliff shrugs

“Well good job getting another district. She was gonna beca hard one. Go get some rest we’ll take the last district tomorrow”

As the two leave to their rooms west talks

W: what was that back there?

Z: kliff keeps ignoring me when i mention how bad the nsr artists look and i dont know if you’ve noticed but i listened to some of maysibelle’s fans on the way back

W: and?

Z: they were praising her for staying “proper” during our fight, like they really do expect her to not show emotions and when i asked them about that thry say it’s what they expect of her how she’s always bern this way

Z: west there’s something really wrong with the nsr artists it’s like they’ve been... broken

W:... what did she mean by apologize

Z: it has to do with the last district.

Z: it’s nadia’s district.

This was a long one

Next one will be long too, mainly cause if the last fight with tatiana

I’ve really hurt mayday huh? :D

[jilliankatenope]

Neurodivergence In Medicine

Neurodivergence in medicine. AKA such a complicated and convoluted position to be in. 

Medicine is a job you have to be perfect, or damn close. There are stories of people losing their jobs over mental health issues. There is a whole show about an autistic man who is a brilliant surgeon but is treated as a burden. Instead of assisting a brilliant mind with a social aspects of medicine, they push and push him (this is coming from someone who really appreciates the show too). Which, is fine! Neurodivergence doesn’t mean incapable of growth! But, there are some things that can’t be changed just by pushing. Some things that no matter how much therapy, how much assistance, just won’t click. In that show’s case, Shaun is able to practice medicine. He can do his job. He just cant do the social part. His colleagues are honestly better than most, which isnt saying much. Either way, he is allowed to practice medicine even if people put a bunch of roadblocks in his way.

For me, I actually DO love the social part. I love talking with patients. It feels like the ultimate masking. I’m not myself, theres pretty specific things to say, like a script that is expected of me. I have (probably) too much empathy, and this job feels right for me. But me trying to interact with my colleagues? I cannot, because that is an actual *social* thing where I am myself. Especially when the social anxiety stacks on top of it. 

Right now, I am a student. I’m in my clinicals. I have so many layers of anxiety - new people anxiety, being actively judged because its their job anxiety, anxiety over feeling stupid, ect ect. I don’t know how much I am allowed to joke, I don’t know whats appropriate (even when it’s with intern residents who are very close to me in age). Hospital and medicine hierarchy and social etiquette are already so incredibly nuanced to someone who actually knows how to interact with fellow humans. 

This current rotation has been an absolute nightmare. I don’t think anyone in my life truly grasps how much hell this has been. I keep making (non medical!!) mistakes and its digging me further and further into a pit of sadness and anxiety. I don’t know the hospital medicine rules, I don’t know social norms of inpatient medicine with residents, I can’t do patient presentations on the fly because language through my mouth isnt easy, I can’t come up with plans on the spot for patients because I have to write everything down to form coherent thoughts. I freeze when I get asked questions, and often my brain shoots out an answer or a word without me truly comprehending it (thanks sensory processing) and getting a chance to think. I know that I know the medicine. I feel at home with patient care and this job. 

I am getting more and more paralyzed by fear and failing and my own shortcomings. I am just feeling so alone in this and am so deep in a pit of despair. The feelings are so complex, the anxiety is suffocating. I have not felt so much self hatred in so long. I just had to write it out to feel less alone. 

[comradelionheart]

This is where I feel safest.

In the blueness of this site, held in comfort as if under my blanket of soft fur.

No one here will ever know who I am or the people I speak of. No one can find me here. I have a questionable habit of running off to avoid being witnessed when I fail or am in pain, and this is where I run to. It is luckily not a boy this time. Well, it’s sort of that too, but not predominantly.

I haven’t shut G out this time. When I thought I’d lost my shot at the job I deleted my WhatsApp and all other social media, and refused to surface until I was willing to face people again. This isn’t unlike when I graduated college uncertain of what to do with life next and just... vanished. I’d a pretty promising presence on Facebook that could potentially have introduced him and I sooner, but I guess life unravels at its own pace and nothing can force it to go sooner or slower. I’ve grown rather accepting of failures because I have unfortunately grown accustomed to them. It’s almost like I expect to meet with resistance or failure each time something nearly works out and in this case I can’t say I willed it upon myself. I literally tested positive for TB. Which is amusing since those are my ex’s initials, and is yet another TB which seems to be hampering my progress. 

Dry humour is what I’m best at if I’m being my authentic self. I must unfortunately smile and wave because I’m a woman and need to be likeable to get anywhere in my line of work. That isn’t to say I’m a sociopath or hate people. I just wish I didn’t have to pretend to be interested in their lives and feign amusement at their not so novel ideas. Pretty sure I’ve not so novel ideas too, but I don’t need to be indulged for the sake of my (not) fragile ego. Anyhow.

I applied for this job early in the year and didn't expect to hear from them (because the first few years of my work life had me flailing and coping with depression instead of steering my career, and I know I shouldn’t grudge her for this but I do). But I did hear from them. And everything went through. Including 3 rounds of aptitude tests and a personal interview (which I thought I bombed but didn't somehow). Until I tested positive on a skin patch test for TB. Why do these stupid standard sets of tests get prescribed world over? Honestly, if I’m ever supreme leader of anywhere I will ban standardised tests. Not in the way that I say medicine is a sham, not at all, but in the way that WE LIVE IN THE THIRD WORLD AND WILL OF COURSE HAVE TAKEN THE BCG OR HAVE BEEN EXPOSED TO THE BACTERIA AT SOME POINT BUT IT’S NOT NECESSARILY EVER GOING TO BE ACTIVE SO USE A BETTER AND MORE CONTEXT SPECIFIC TEST INSTEAD OF GIVING ME ANXIETY AND EXISTENTIAL CRISES LIKE THESE, JFC. 😭😭😭

But I’ve taken the other test and that’s also got the drawback of being unable to differentiate between inert and active TB. So I took an HRCT scan. I’m so sick of running around hospitals, there’s a literal virus in the air. But Monday is when I’ll know the medical verdict. And then there’s the whole security check process. I hate when this happens but I’ve lost so much time to grief, I simply cannot sit around moping any longer. 

Earlier this year I interviewed with the **. I was given a verbal confirmation and had a text message implying an offer was made to me, because I received an acknowledgement to my acceptance of an offer. If I was the person I was in 2014, I’d have kicked up a fuss and made sure that offer was honoured, but 2021 me knows that working with bosses who go back on their word slyly and cave to nepotism usually need their cocks sucked. And I’m not only incapable of that, but have also dealt with enough workplace harassment elsewhere to be adamant about a brand at the risk of my mental health. But really, he can go suck it because I have confirmation from staff that he is EVERYTHING I read him to be. I’m not intuitive or anything, I just read people very well because I was hurt so bad by them (repeatedly since childhood) that reading people became a thing I did for survival. My sharp instincts serve me well, but are a trauma response. I am very self aware too, yes.

I then interviewed and got through an NGO that was willing to pay me 24L. I turned it down because the founders were running around like headless chicken with their inability to distinguish PR from Marketing Comms (me) from Marketing for business development. I know I was being paid a lot of money, but I will not kill myself performing all three functions while being acknowledged for just the one on my offer letter. I’ve learned to value my labour capacity and assert myself in the economic and political spheres. 

Personally though? I sometimes still think I’m a romantic pushover.

But this is about work because I need to weep a little before being calm about how this year has treated me. Especially since I’m maintaining a cool demeanour in public and literally hate sharing things I’m burdened with. Idk man, it makes me feel vulnerable and I don’t like feeling like I’ll get a knife twisted in the spot that's most sore. I AM SCREAMING BECAUSE I HAVE LET G WITNESS ME IN PAIN THIS TIME INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY and will someday file copyright over An Enduring Romantic because that’s very honestly me. But ofc it isn’t going to be the legal Copyright, just the sham notice like the one I’d sent him to up his Instagram game. Or he could just operate my Twitter and I’ll run his gram. It’ll even feel natural.

Sometime around May an environmental journal asked me to come on board. Work from the office at the height of the pandemic with no travel compensation and very little money. I turned them down. Then came II**. Which I again turned down because they wouldn’t pay market rate for skills I’ve perfected in 4 years just because they wanted 8 years experience on paper for my quotation. I will do a lot for causes I love, but I also really enjoy being paid fairly and acknowledged for the value I bring to the table.

Then came the start up in Del. Which I turned down because the uncle running it in his wife’s name expected 24*7 labour availability for 12L with no health insurance.

The latest in my list of things I’ve turned down is the ** Gov. Which I can obviously go back to since my reason for turning it down was another job, but 14 days of leave all year? 7 day work week if needed? Hell no. I enjoy having labour rights. But also when I told the dude I’d be reporting to if I accepted that I cant accept due to covid concerns his reaction was “sure, send me an email so we can start looking for someone else immediately.” Like.... we just had a second wave, what if something was wrong? I wouldn’t risk losing my job because they expect work even if I were hypothetically coughing up blood. So best not to touch with a bargepole. Now I’m less sad, but also really hope the TB results are negative. This job I want and have said yes to ticks off all of the boxes in my head and I will truly be disappointed if I lose it to disease paranoia despite being completely suited and picked for the role 😞

Just to be on the safer side, I have taken one last shot at achieving my goal of ‘learn how political systems work so you know what you’re talking about first hand in that PhD.’ I hope my Plan A works out instead, though.

Since I’ve brought him up in this, it will be interesting to note that a year ago I did the erstwhile unthinkable act of cutting a friend of for attempting to steal a man I love. A year ago to the date, literally. Funny how this year is more calm, but I was maxed out on endorphins from him last year. Until this March even, if I’m being truthful. I don’t regret cutting her off.She crossed a vvvv red line. ALL my other friends are celebrating. They detested her. 

Another thing that happened last year was me letting him know that I only get hotter with time, but along with this work drama I have also had a run in with intense grief which I thought was a mood disorder (because it was intense, I mentioned?), cholesterol, thyroid, sugar addiction and now, le TB (PLEASE BE A FALSE POSITIVE YESU KRISTU HALP). So needless to say, I haven’t been most fabulous and undergone my physical transformation and these mental health struggles (are getting better now) strapped me to my couch along with the pandemic and its many lockdowns. I have also not studied for the GRE because I’m stimulus seeking via social media and fear of sucking at math has kept me locked in place. I still have a lot to work through on this front and would really like to make his cover right too, but my creativity isn't working and I keep fucking it up. I am not as spectacular as I was last year. The separation has also weathered my dazzle out a little and while I’m living with it, I still have small waves of sadness that show up once in a while.

I might have also accidentally flirted with someone into falling for me. It was all fun and games and for my pride, but now I’ve to gently let them down since I’ve cold feet and am chicken. Because I’m as emotionally unavailable as a streetlamp. Is this why they call me a Gurgaoni fuckboi?

[sneakymalou]

H-hi! I saw the confession challange thing and I really cant stop thinking of Xander from FE fates with no. 3 sentance (Would you marry me) ;; I dont know I just thought it would be cute with a timid wyvern rider (Reader) (ah and just to be specific haha) ty if you take up my request too YwY

I never wrote about Xander I so happy to do it ! 🥰🥰 And I love your idea ! 😍

Xander's confession 💕

Finally, you just finished your patrol for the night. As you removed the saddle from your precious wyvern, a cold wind surprised you. In a second you turned against a noise that came to your ear, and jumped out of fear. “Oh dear lord, I'm so worry, I wouldn't frightened you...” Xander. Crown prince of Nohr, the most marvelous knight you've ever seen on the battlefield. But a prince he remained, so it didn't matter how much time you could pass together, he will remain out of reach. Still, this smile of his made your heart beat faster and faster in a second as you gazed at him, trying to smile too. This shyness of yours always held you back from expressing your true feelings. This time was no different from the others ; as you tried to smile and couldn't do it, you prefered to lean over and show your respect. Xander came closer as you did it, putting a warm hand against your tchin to meet your gaze, armed with that disarming look you just couldn't resist or take your own eyes off. “Don't act like you are a simple fighter or my retainer... you have more importance than that” he explained with a soft voice, incapable of going away. “You shouldn't say things like... that...” you tried, eyes on the ground. “And why is that ?” Xander was making fun of you, this shyness of yours simply irresistible. “Be... because you are my prince !” Words came out of your mouth without warning. Maybe you should choose them more carefully... “Then I'm yours. Perfect !”

Your cheeks became instantly red before his reaction, your prince joyfully giggling. He took your hand, suddenly serious. Smile gone, you gazed at him without any clue of what he had in mind. When he put a knee before you, you gasped and become shivering. Xander held your hand even tighter, trying to reassure you in all ways possible. “To be afraid. Right here, right now, I'm no prince at all. I'm just a man. A man truly, madly in love with you.” If you weren't that proud, you would have burst into tears right away. It was too much to bare for your poor heart. “My sweet wyvern rider... would you marry me ?” There. He said it. You couldn't help but close your eyes, all of your body trembling. “I can't...”

Xander seemed not surprise at all. In fact, he smiled even more, not moving, his knee still on the ground. He kissed your sweet hand multiple times, clearly playing with your nerves. “And may I know why ?” Your cheeks more red than ever, you looked away, not capable of speaking at the moment. Man, you were rejecting the man of your dreams, how were you suppose to do it ? “I am nobody. One day, you'll be King... and the most marvelous King Nohr would ever have. How Am I suppose to say yes to my prince ? I am no one... I should be loved by no one...” A single tear ran against your cheek, and that's why Xander reacted in a matter of seconds. “Nonsense.” He stood up to kissed your cheek, swallowing that tear of yours, as if he wanted to comfort you by this simple move. “Nonsense...” he repeated, wrapping your frail and shivering body with his strong arms. “I don't care who you are, who I am. You are the woman I love, that's all I know. To me, you are my princess. The princess of my heart.”

Your heart never beated that fast as you closed your eyes, enjoying his warmth. It was wrong... “Stop... please stop...” you begged, but he wouldn't stop. He kissed your temple, then your cheek again, shopping only when he grazed your lips. “Marry me, little princess...” Both your eyes couldn't stop caressing each other's, and maybe that was all it took to persuade you. After all, you lied to yourself for far too long. “I...” Before you even respond properly, your lips met his, in a sweet and passionate kiss. Maybe it was all that your prince wanted from you as an answer. “I do. I mean... I do, it's too soon to say it !” you claimed shyly, making Xander laughed again. “If you will marry me, I look forward to hear you say “I do”...” Then, it was your promise. Secret one at first, but you never saw the crown prince protecting you that hard after that perfect promise, in the middle of the night. Needless to say, he never left your side again. Not even for a second.