#I am only and *only* simping for the actors/fictionalized characters

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Stu (Aka Ghostface) Headcanons: Mind Manipulation  (Scream)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with another Chapter, this one has to do with Stu from The First Scream as he was one of the Ghostface from the movie! Also for those who do not know the actor was the voice actor for Shaggy in a lot of Scooby-Doo movies, and was the two live movies Shaggy and the best part! He also was William Afton from the FNAF movie! Other than my simping lmao, let's do this!

(Disclaimer: Stu AKA Ghostface is not Yandere in canon! This is Just For Fun and NOT to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are Not ideal partners to have in real life. Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank You!

Disclaimer 2: IN THIS HE IS AGED UP TO 18 or 19 THANK YOU!!!)

Now please enjoy this Chapter Here]

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Stu From Scream-

.Stu appears at first to be a normal and slightly dimwitted man.

.He is way much more than that though, he is absolutely psychotic!

.He is one of the two Slashers known as Ghostface.

.He had no real motive to become Ghostface but took advantage of doing it to kill his ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend.

.With him wanting to be with you as he is obsessed with you at first sight.

.So he takes advantage of being a slasher to kill anyone interested in you.

.This was not his plan but he did love that he could use it to his advantage!

.He is way smarter than he appeared.

.Using his brains to plot and scheme a way to make you, his, and his alone.

.He is also sadistic so he would take great glee in seeing you panic and being afraid!

.He would also use this to manipulate you and make you think he is the only one who can keep you safe and sound.

.He is a yandere who is sadistic and has thought of many ways to brutally kill his rivals!

.He takes great enjoyment in it and is incredibly cruel, mentally toying with his rivals until he kills them and mocks them for how pathetic they are, and how unworthy they are of you.

.One of his favorite pastimes is to watch horror movies with you, snuggling with you on the couch as you watch scary movies together.

.He is sweet and joking and laid back with you

.While is very much yandere side can be cruel, sadistic, and cold-blooded.

.A very classic yandere trait I would say, he appears innocent and normal but then has a murderous side that is unfeeling to most things.

.Which makes his obsession for you. To feel like true love, making all the choices he makes part of a much greater plan!

.As he has manipulated you into trusting him and making you think you are only safe with him, he uses this when he does confess to you. 

.Confessing to you, you would most likely say yes, and he would make sure that you do. 

.If you do say yes he will continue to worm his way into your life, so that you become completely dependent on him and that you will NEED him to survive and be scared to be with others. 

.If by some chance you turn him down his love and say no to him. 

.Well he will snap, that is right this boy is a snapping type of yandere (another classic trait) 

.He will either stab you or will knock you out. 

.Kidnapping you and playing mind games with you. 

.Breaking you down and wanting you to fall into Stockholm Syndrome with him. 

.He is going to break your mind down and slowly build it back up, with you again depending on him. 

.You break his rules when he has you kidnap you, he will take comforts away, such as food, water, and bedding. 

.Causing you to break down until you beg him or he mentally breaks you. 

.It will end up with you breaking down and depending on him. 

.He has enough patience to make sure that it works and he can wait for you, you are worth it~ 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope that you all enjoyed this and Stay Sexy, all of my Sexy Muffins!] 

[nozunhinged]

Noz vs. reality vs. fiction

As I have experienced my very first unhinged, real person character crush in the form of Boeing aka Mond Tanutchai, I would like to digress into the topic of fiction vs. reality (mainly for myself 🤓).

The carnal desire Boeing awakened in me was absolutely UNMATCHED, nothing I've ever experienced before. I mean, look at him????

I have been an unhinged simp for 2D characters since my teenage years and all my fantasies also lived in this world. It was a separation easy to make and I have to admit I never really knew how to be a fan of irl people, be it actors, singers or whatever their profession.

And then Boeing happened. This man took my moral compass and smashed it until I felt like nothing was left of it. The unhinged in my blog name finally reached its final form. It was a trip.

For the first time I found myself reading all the information about the actor the internet has to offer.

But as it turns out, Mond Tanutchai as a person, as the actor he's existing in this world — does nothing for me. That 1. shows how good he is at his profession and 2. that my carnal desire exists for Boeing and Boeing only.

And this is where it gets interesting.

Where do I choose to draw the line between fiction and reality in the future? Am I now fan of Mond because he plays Boeing so well or am I a fan of Mond because he's playing Boeing in general? Will both options blur the line between the two and and make me want to start to look for traits of Boeing in Mond? Am I even able to separate both of them completely?

This is so extremely interesting to go through right now, because I feel that is the core of the whole reality vs fiction discussion.

Even if I might be able to separate the two — it's so easy to cross that line. To dehumanize this very human being and make them what I want them to be. Fanservice is the perfect example for that and I'm happy in doesn't exist for Only Friends.

It's also kind of scary and I don't know how to move further yet.

And just to be clear: this isn't meant to criticize any form of fandom experience.

I just really like taking a step back to look at how my fairly new fandom life is playing out :)

[coffeefrenchandhistory]

About Me

I figured I should do this. No idea why. Anyway, it'll get updated... whenever I feel like it should get updated.

Tumblr bio (because it's somehow getting cut off and I don't like that): I'm Josh. 32. Unapologetically Jewish & Zionist. History geek, nerd, and Francophone. I write fanfics on AO3. Slytherin ambition with Gryffindor nerve. Blank/empty/anti-Zionist and antisemitic blogs will be blocked

What's your name?

Sir Lancelot of Camelot (and my quest is to seek the Holy Grail) It's Josh [surname redacted]. Pronouns are he/him.

You're on AO3?

I am! I'm currently writing a Wrong-Boy-Who-Lived fanfic (yes, yes, I know, WBWL stories have a... reputation...).

What fandoms do/will you write?

Predominantly Harry Potter if only because that series was my first love and still has a place in my heart. I'm also planning a few fanfics in the Mass Effect, DC, Star Trek, Game of Thrones, original fiction, and Fallout fandoms.

Why?

Well it all started when I was born...

Who are your fanfic idols/inspirations?

@artemisia-black, hands down. She is one of the finest writers I've ever seen, ever had the privilege of interacting with, and I genuinely adore her as a person.

But I'm also a big fan of Frickles, TheSinister_Man, Dorothea Greengrass, and TheEndless7.

What kind of fanfics do you write?

If it's Harry Potter, it's either a Wrong Boy-Who-Lived (WBWL) fic — either with Harry's brother as the believed to be Boy-Who-Lived or Neville as the believed to be Boy-Who-Lived. Or it'll be "action-adventure" where canon diverts this way instead of that way.

Ships?

I mean the USS Massachusetts is pretty neat, but that's also because I was able to visit it when I was a kid.

No, I mean, who do you ship?

Ohhhh!

I'm not a fan of Harry/Ginny, nor Ron/Hermione. Actually, the only canon pairings I like are James/Lily and Ted/Andromeda... that's pretty much it.

For Harry: Lavender (she'd be great for him ngl), Hermione (eh, sometimes), Pansy (enemies to lovers is top tier), Daphne (Haphne is a top tier ship and everyone should know it), Susan, Fleur (I just think she's neat), Tonks (post-war), Andromeda (post-war), Parvati, Padma, and Bellatrix (when it involves time travel).

Most out-there ship you've got?

Ron/Pansy, Hermione/Cormac or Anthony Goldstein/Hermione, Draco/Ginny. Also Kingsley/Bellatrix, Sirius/Aurora Sinistra, and Snape/getting his ass handed to him.

Most cursed ship you've seen?

[trauma intensifies] We don't go there. But I've seen some shit.

What character(s) do you hate the most?

Snape. I despise Severus Snape with every fiber of my being. The fact that Harry names his son after that child-abusing terror supporting racist wank-stain who simped hard for his mother after calling her a bigoted slur is a stain (and wanted her as a prize after he sold Lily, James, and baby Harry out to Voldemort) is the reason I throw the epilogue into the trash where it belongs.

Also Dumbledore, while I do think he's (for the most part) well-meaning, is very much the chess master who got far too up his own ass with how important he is. Also he facilitated child abuse, so I don't like him.

And Molly Weasley, who is an overbearing harpy of a mother who gleefully and maliciously went out of her way to bully a 15 year old girl because she read some bullshit in the Daily Prophet — when a few chapters before she had dismissed the author (Rita Skeeter) as a hack.

What do you do?

I work for a medical provider's office. Specifically, an ophthalmologist's office. Oh, go get your eyes checked!

Do you like it?

So then what do you want to do?

I'm actually getting myself out there to be an actor! And a writer of works that aren't fanfics.

Are you Zionist?

Yes.

What does that — ?

It means I believe Jews have the right to national self-determination in our ancestral homeland.

But what about — ?

That's literally the definition of Zionism. And yes, I do believe that anti-Zionism is antisemitism.

What if I'm an anti-Zionist?

Get off my blog then. I don’t want you here.

[anschovy]

Don't mind me... Just questioning my sanity while watching Narcos. Because men like Wagner Moura make me feel attracted to Pablo Escobar and other narcotraficante and their acting makes me sympathize with the bad guys ✨.

Just chillin and being excited whenever Pacho, Navegante and Co appear on screen. You know. Normal stuff.

[eldritch-spouse]

Playing mass effect rn and oh my I am simping for alien men

Anyway how would Breg and Grimbly react to you romancing Video game characters?

[Bro, you cannot understand my years-old fury over not being able to romance Legion. Fuck the asari, I want to get knuckle deep in that robussy and Mass Effect has failed me. Geth primes are hot, I take no criticism on this.]

Neither of them like it, that much should be obvious.

Breg hates it, he's the same guy that starts getting antsy the moment you're swooning at some random actor on TV, actually interacting with a video game character with the intent to romance them has Breg slowly boiling in place like a kettle. He knows it's all fictional, he knows there's no real point getting mad over it- But he just seethes quietly the longer he thinks about it. Because he wouldn't do the same to you. The breeder takes a small amount of comfort in the fact that you at least don't choose human characters often, it kills that noisy, intrusive voice in the back of his head that likes to tell the monster you'd be happier with another human. Breg still has a heavy distaste of your tendency to romance pixels on a screen and will urge you to spend time with him instead, playing other games preferably. He talks mad shit about your favorite characters whenever you bring them up, without fail.

Grimbly does not give two fucks about behaving himself. You're not romancing video game characters ever, if he has a say in it. Which he has, because the moment you ignore him, the bat monster will unplug your console/pc and bark about it immediately. It doesn't matter how good the game is or how invested you are, that is inexcusable and he will throw a huge tantrum about it. Cue the guilt-tripping and pissy attitude afterwards. Are you bored of him? Is he not enough for you? Why couldn't you just talk things out with him instead of playing stupid romance simulators? Yeah sure, as if Grimbly believes you're only doing it for the lore- Spare him! How would you feel if he started playing dating sims and fawning over everyone there instead? No no, don't you dare touch him, go date your stupid alien boyfriend! This boy has absolutely no chill, you're treading in a minefield.

[florbexter]

I have to gush over Secret Crush on You. I know it gets hate on various platforms and gosh did I have a hard time going through the first episode but then I carried on and I ADORE IT!!!

I understand and appreciate what they want to tell with the story. Was I taken aback by the whole obsessive/stalker Storyline yes and omg Toh's heavy breathing takes me out a lot and knowing that they made his character this way and knowing that he can act and was in Why R U makes it even harder because there are scenes when you know what could have been with his character but I digress.

But yes, Toh is a stalker and the second hand embarrassment makes it hard to watch for me but think about that storyline what you want because it weirdly works for Toh and Nuer (and I am suprised about it as everyone else lol). They deserve each other in their obsession about each other and they are a special kind of freaky and gosh the definition for freaky in their context needs a new level because I can't define it XD

But SCOY feels more like a queer show than a lot of Thai BLs (and let's be honest most of them fall under a subcategory of straight romance) and I enjoy it so much!

This is a show for and about femme gays and it's damn time that they are the ones getting the hot perfect campus stars. They have for too long be the joke in BL's. AND they are getting not only the hot perfect campus stars but those campus stars are IN LOVE WITH THEM! ARE CERTIFIED SIMPS AND I EAT THAT SHIT UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!

The talk about bodyimage and Jao's struggle with it = CHEFS KISS!!!

The talk about sexual preferences and Nuea's confidence in his sexuality and his experience with women and men = CHEFS KISS

Daisy is allowed to be flirty and loud and sexual active = CHEFS KISS! She serves looks! She reminds me of my first queer friend in secondary school one of the loudest, nicest, warmest person with a gossip streak a mile wide who had so much influence on my own journey that I cannot not love Daisy with my whole heart.

I understand that this show isn't for everyone, it sure does have flaws and especially Toh's and Nuea's story is a lot (but again it is so weird how it works for them!) but this show pierced my heart in an unexpected way and I adore it!

Again, it gives me a queer vibe that is so comfortable it makes me warm and happy inside.

And maybe when you talk about stereotypes in BL's and how it's great that they sometimes cast actors that don't fit in that stereotype and you are relieved that that also often unveiles your internalized homophobia about how gays have to be or how you want your fictional gays to look and behave because the complain about Toh, Daisy and Jao being too gay, flamboyant and femme enrages me!

This series also shows how much Saint knows the market and what he needs to do to get this kind of story out and no the international market isn't important to Thai BL productions, it is always about the domestic market and the sponsorships you can gain there. He introduces a lesbian couple and people want more and now he will give it to them with three wlw couples in his new production GAP the series.

And this isn't really about how I want others to watch this show too, people have to decide for their own but that I love this show, I really truly love it.

[luna-writes-stuff]

@fairykimseok

Fictional crushes, Aidan Turner

Usually, I don’t write for cast members, but I am the biggest simp for Aidan Turner so I will make an exception because I love him with all my heart.

Headcanons, female s/o

Tw: Teasing???? Man idk?????

- You and Aidan had been together for quite a while, so it truly hadn’t come as a surprise when he asked you to come with him to the screening of ‘An Unexpected Journey’.

- You had always helped him rehearse his lines in any project and you had no problem with him not revealing certain key points in a movie. But when you heard he was playing in another Peter Jackson movie, you began growing more curious.

- You had already been familiar with the Lord of the Ring movies and knowing Aidan was now playing part in Tolkien’s legacy made you so proud, yet so snoopy. You wanted to know everything about the setting, the actors, the story line,,,,everything.

- So it had been difficult for Aidan to keep his mouth shut at times. But after this evening, he would no longer have to.

- The moment Aidan had appeared as Kili during the screening, you had grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly while pointing to his character. Aidan was so ecstatic upon seeing your reaction that he could not wait for you to see the rest of it.

- Yet, upon watching the rest of the movie, your responses grew more quiet, telling him you were no longer focusing on whatever was happening, but more particularly on someone. You always became quiet when you were looking at someone, whether that was in a good way or bad way.

- Truth be told, you had found Kili incredibly attractive. I mean, who wouldn’t? It hadn’t been the first time you fell in love with a fictional character, yet some part of you told you this was different as you were, in a way, dating Kili.

- But you could never tell Aidan that. He wouldn’t let you hear the end of it.

- But Aidan knew you better than he knew himself. You would make some small remarks during the screening, yet you always grew quiet when his character had a line or any form of screen time.

- At first, you managed to cover it up with a “I just want to properly see your bits in the movie.”, but as the movie came to an ending, Aidan quickly realized it had not been only about his acting; It had been about his character.

- He could keep his mouth shut for a while upon finding out, but the second the both of you were in the car away from the public, he burst out laughing.

- “I mean, I knew I was attractive, but I didn’t know it was that bad!”

- And then your entire face heated up. You knew there was no point in trying to hide it, but it did not make you any less ashamed.

- “Tell me, is it the hair?” He wondered with a smile, flashing you an amused look. “Shut up, Aidan.” “Or was it the beard?” “You’ve had that beard the entire time you were shooting.” “So it was the hair.”

- And from there on, the entirety of the car ride was filled with stupid comments, even if they were used lighthearted.

- “Are you Mister Boggins?” He tried with his best Kili imitation.

- “Shut your gob or I’ll do it for you.” “I’d gladly let you do it, but I don’t know if Kili would approve.”

- You bet your ass he’s never shaving that beard off again. He even tries growing out his hair. It started out as a teasing, but since he knew you liked his long hair, he made it his duty to grow it out.

- Only it didn’t work out so well. His hair wouldn’t grow that fast and he needed to keep it short enough so the wig would fit onto his head for the next movies.

- But it had been long enough to wear a stupid ponytail from time to time. A tiny one, but it counted nonetheless.

- He would constantly let his lines slip and whenever the two of you were rehearsing, Aidan would act all innocent and Kili-like (in the best way possible)

- “Are you trying to romance me?” “…….yeah…..” “it’s working.”

- And then the battle of the five armies happened. To say you were crushed would be an understatement. Of course Aidan would be there to comfort you, but he’s literally Kili so it doesn’t always work.

- It doesn’t stop him from maintaining his stubble. It’s attractive, lets face it. He knows it, you know it.

- He’ll keep it for you.

- There will be a annual rewatch of the hobbit series so you can simp for Kili again. Aidan would act all offended and cuddle up to you, trying to get your attention.

- Sometimes he doesn’t realize he’s Kili.

- He’s not the brightest, okay?

[stranger-nightmare]

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬

Status: 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃

Please read before submitting a request. Thank you in advance.

Characters I Write For

What I write:

Oneshots

Drabbles

Headcannons

These writings can include:

Smut (please read my ‘requesting smut’ section)

Fluff

Angst

Dark (to a certain extent, please specify exactly what you want and I’ll let you know if I’m not comfortable writing it)

Requesting Smut:

If you request smut (anonymously or not) you are hereby declaring that you are 18+.

Please tell me if there are any kinks you do or do not want included.

Themes I am NOT comfortable writing:

Breeding kink

Pregnancy

Children / parent

Anything to do with children tbh

This includes asking for Dilf! Characters, I’m sorry it’s just really not for me

A/B/O dynamics

Actors / actresses, I only write for fictional characters

Other Information

I am happy to write for both male and female characters.

I only write female or gender-neutral reader though.

I will always use y/n in my writing unless you specifically request to have your actual name inserted instead.

Please include a small line in your request about what scenario you’d like me to write. I will try to do my best to accommodate more general requests but it’s easier if you have some kind of idea in mind.

Please allow at least a few days to a week for me to get your request done. I will always try to get them done as quickly as I can.

I will never just ignore an request, if I see it and am comfortable doing it I will do it. If I don’t feel comfortable doing it I will reply and tell you, I will never just leave you hanging. Basically if you haven’t seen your request for a couple of days it’s because I’m actually doing it!😁

I mostly write for MCU characters, but I am willing to write for others. Just send me a message and if I’m familiar with the character I will try and do something for you!

Please note I do not feel comfortable writing for actors / actresses / real people, only fictional characters please.

I always reserve the right to politely decline a request if I do not feel comfortable with it.

Please see this post as well.

All my writings and answers can be found under the hashtag #stranger nightmare

All writings can also be found on my other blog solely dedicated to my writings: @libraryofnightmares

My sideblog is @druigswitch, come simp with me!

Think that’s everything, please follow and I hope you enjoy my page!

[miraclecherryblossomsblog]

Am i the only one who cannot simp for fictional characters unless they're drawn??? Like for example if u were to introduce to a character that was beong played by someone (actor) i wouldnt really feel anything for them BUT if somebody did fanart of that character i fucking go simp mode

Pls tell me im not the only one ftlog 😭

[tsunryu]

Why I love Obey Me!

1. Gender neutral

Lots of fans portray the MC as a female, they mistakenly get referred to ask "she/her" in some lessons and apparently, they were also supposed to canonically be female in the development phase, but in the game, they don't have a gender. This is one of the reasons why I started playing, actually - I dislike being referred to by she/her pronouns, and there are barely any gender neutral anime styled dating simulators.

2. No displayed MC

Whenever I play a game with a portrayed MC, I can't imagine myself as them if they're female, especially if their whole face is shown and if they even have a canon name. Playing would probably feel like my beloved favorite characters are not flirting with me, but with some girl I am basically controlling. Since Obey Me! doesn't have a portrayed MC, I can always imagine the characters actually talking to ME and caring about me, unlike in other games in which it feels like the characters don't know that you even exist.

3. Awesome characters

Looks attract us when we find a dating sim in the app store, but personalities make us stay! The Obey Me! characters are extremely relatable and a huge comfort to many fans. I know many people who like them not only for their designs, but also because they make them feel loved or better about themselves. On top of that, the characters also have simp-worthy, memorable and handsome designs (and in Luke's case, adorable little baby).

4. Diversity

Apart from all the diverse features such as Devilgram, the lessons, the jobs and the calling/texting system, Obey Me! also has new events starting every few days. This keeps the audience playing - everyone knows that there might be an UR or UR+ card of their favorite character in the next event, so they try to get as many Demon Vouchers and Demon Points as possible through mere playing.

5. The fandom

I've met some seriously toxic fans in the Obey Me! fandom, too, but the majority is honestly very kind and supportive. In fact, I've started texting with most of my close online friends because of the game and talking about it aswell as making up ways in which our OCs are related is honestly always tons of fun. Also, I've barely ever seen Obey Me! fans attacking others for having a fictional-character-crush on the same character as them or shipping their OC with them.

6. Non-game content

The fact that we have official merch and even official character songs makes Obey Me! even more awesome and gives the fans an even better experience of (and with) the characters. It also shows that the team puts a lot of effort into their franchise and cares about their fans. Speaking of the team...

7. Amazing team

No matter whether it's the developers, artists, story creators or voice actors, Obey Me! wouldn't be Obey Me! without them. They bring our beloved characters to life and are really kind towards their fans. I haven't been in contact with any of the artists, but they're super talented and portray the characters in an awesome way. For the voice actors, all I can say is that they're very humble and partially also interact with their fans. Sometimes, even the official Obey Me! account likes fans' posts.

8. No pay-to-win

We all know it: we find an amazing game and get obsessed with it, but at some point, we can't level up any further and our only way out would be buying boosters and similar resources with actual real money. However, this isn't the case with Obey Me!. Sure, you might decide to pay with real money if your gacha is really bad and you desperately want that one limited card of your favorite character, but in most of the cases, you don't necessarily need to buy anything in order to progress with the story itself.

[ashistrashhh]

here are some fic recs!! including sakuatsu, bokuaka, kuroken and matsuhana bc i couldnt help myself

if you want, ask me about a certain ship and ill give you some recs!

-sakuatsu-

Marble and Sandstone by red_camellia

rating: G words: 12,937 chapters: 2/2 

author summary: Miya Atsumu only cares about volleyball and nothing else. That is, until he develops a strange obsession with the marble statue of a young man that seems vaguely familiar in his university's arts department. One day that statue comes alive as the very real Sakusa Kiyoomi, and they are left with the mystery of why Sakusa Kiyoomi was turned into a statue and only came back to life when Atsumu touched him. Their new-found connection and the strange mystery turns Atsumu's life upside down, not least because of his growing feelings for Sakusa.

my notes: this was a rlly cute fic!!! 11/10 would read again!!

let it go (paint my body gold) by lunarism

rating: T words: 3,272 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It becomes a routine for them. Sometimes they go grocery shopping and make dinner together, other times they end up talking until Sakusa feels like his own shower and bed is calling him. Every single time Sakusa gets home, shrugs his coat off, balls it up, and proceeds to scream profusely into the fabric for a few minutes.

my notes: pining!!! sakusa!!! also casual painter!atsumu!!! and they paint together!!!

craft a miracle with these hands, lips, (silence) by chrysanthe (sonderesque)

rating: T words: 4,252 chapters: 1/1

author summary: ‘Someone is here to ruin your night,’ his door tells him. ‘You should let them in.’ “I’M HOMELESS OMI-OMI. HOMELESS,” yells the one here to ruin his night. “LET ME IN.”

(What does Kiyoomi sell his sanctuary for?)

my notes: hnnn rlly fuckin cute,, and domestic,,,,

Clipped To You by littleboat

rating: T words: 8,174 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It starts with Hinata Natsu, of all people.

Well, if Atsumu’s being honest with himself, it started way before that, but he’s not, so that’s besides the point. And thankfully, he’s just petty enough to blame all of his problems on a thirteen year old girl.

or Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

my notes: minor kagehina, bokuaka // god these fics rlly make me simp for fictional characters even more than i should. but!! sakusa!!! in hairclips!!! and a pining atsumu!!!

learn how to lay me down in something other than danger, other than fury by rosevtea 

words: 34,211 chapters: 1/1

author summary: All of the ways fellow college TA Miya Atsumu reinvents Kiyoomi's definition of normal.

my notes: god i loved this. it’s a fake dating au and like,, even though they’re “dating” sakusa keeps letting his guard down little by little around atsumu and it surprises everyone. komori and akaashi just know  that they’re were genuinely pining for eachother

among probabilities and a thousand fates by aalphard

rating: T words: 15,675 chapters: 1/1

author summary: prompt fill for “in a world where the red string of fate exists, person a’s finger always twitches when person b, who can see the string, tugs on their string” | or sakusa thought he had a tic and atsumu liked to see his confused expression when it started to happen exclusively when he was around.

my notes: i! loved! it!! so basically atsumu and osamu have the rare gift of seeing the red string of fate, so they know its real but sakusa, like most other people dont believe it exists. so atsumu gives sakusa a (kinda) hard time. rlly cute!! i love soulmate aus!

-bokuaka- 

love in the time of wifi by dalyeau

rating: G words: 4,177 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Akaashi is coming to terms with the fact that he might be romantically interested in his volleyball captain. Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do. He asks about it online.

my notes: really cute fic about akaashi asking what he should do about his crush on a site similar to reddit. its kinda a “i didnt know it was you” kind of fic and it made me happy

steam by orphan_account

rating: E words: 8,474 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 bokuto: why is he so hot bokuto: why am i so gay kuroo: LMAO you mean your vice captain right bokuto: yeah

The coach blew the whistle for practice to begin, and Bokuto drummed his fingers against the bleachers, awaiting Kuroo’s reply. He was about to walk away, when his phone buzzed in his hand.kuroo: i got this bro bokuto: what bokuto: wtf does that mean

Bokuto started to panic.

my notes: explicit!!! but really wholesome. kuroo is honestly the best wingman. i also think this is my favourite bokuaka smutfic?? 

just to miss the sun by rosevtea

rating: T words: 15,126 chapters:1/1

author summary: Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

my notes: akaashi is a booktuber and bokuto crashes one of his streams. fans begin to speculate. rlly fluffy and can u tell i like bokuaka

brain fish by iceblinks

rating: T words: 12,026 chapters: 6/6

author summary: Akaashi wakes up to a string of texts from an unknown number. 

my notes: i love text fics and i love wrong number aus so u can tell how much i loved this. really fluffy and i come back to it time to time

-kuroken-

us three by honey_s

rating: T words: 5,137 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo’s gaze flits over to the utensil. His eyes bulge out of his skull. “Wh—is that a meat hammer? Put it back!” Akaashi’s head recoils back in confusion. “I don’t understand the problem here.” “Why on Earth have you got a fucking meat hammer? We aren’t going to kill somebody!” “Well,” Akaashi begins, clearly taken aback, “I apologise for assuming. I had heard Kenma-san had been hurt in school and after getting a message from both of you to meet late at night, I merely filled in the blanks and assumed we were going to beat someone up, for lack of a better term.” “Not literally! I meant metaphorically, or figuratively, or something!” “Idiomically?” “That isn’t a word, Bokuto-san.” “Jesus Christ,” Kuroo groans, dropping his head into his hands. “We're going to jail."

my notes: bokuaka and kuroo are ready to beat someone up for kenma!! and we stan!! 

Cherry Pits and Cat Tattoos by strawberryriver

rating: G words: 6,141 chapters: 1/1

author summary: 

Kuroo has been in communication with his soulmate ever since they were kids. They've known each other for so long that he never really worried about when or how he would meet them. At least, not until he meets the roommate of Bokuto's soulmate.Soulmate AU in which things written on your skin show up on your soulmate. Companion piece/same AU as Serendipty

--------------------

Kuroo Tetsurou liked to write on his arms. Despite his mother's half-serious warnings about “ink poisoning” or staining his skin, he insisted on marking his arms and legs wherever he could. Not like his best-friend-since-always Bokuto Koutaro, who had to write on his arms or he’d forget to breathe, but artfully. He’d draw designs, animals, the occasional chemical compound. The whole idea behind soulmates fascinated him: how one person could mark their arm and someone potentially thousands of miles away, would have that same mark appear. The amount of articles, studies, and books he’d read about the topic, even at a young age, could put an undergrad researcher to shame.

my notes: again with the soulmate au bc i cannot help myself. but really cute!!! probably gonna read this again later!

Boom, Toasted by protostar (hearthope)

rated: T words: 6,782 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 FROM: yuuji any bets on who hes texting??

FROM: eita He's smiling at his phone. Kuroo, probably

FROM: kentarou Kuroo

TO: fake family Have any of you ever once considered not prying

FROM: eita You deserve it

FROM: yuuji how can we not when ur in love!!

Kenma gets a text from an unknown number. He'd be lying if he said the guy behind it wasn't kind of endearing.

my notes: again, i love wrong number texts. it focuses more on kenma’s friendship, but kenma’s pov with texting kuroo is more than him realizing feelings and stuff. really cute, ive read it multiple times. 

Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing

rating: T words: 3,631 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)

my notes: i! love! social media! fics!!! really cute and basically people wondering who the mysterious kuroo is to applepi. 

MATSUHANA!!! the underrated gem

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic

rating: M words: 2,119 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.

my notes: honestly more funny than it suggests, but its matsuhana, they’re meme lords.

rated m for by orphan_account

rated: T words: 10,692 chapters: 1/1

author summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.

Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.

FORBIDDEN PARADISE

“Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy's love CD with Matsukawa?”

my notes: a very good voice actor au. there is some misunderstanding on hanamaki’s part bc he didnt finish listening to matsukawa, and this is really cute and i love matsuhana. 

In A Quiet Night, All Sounds Carry by levyovochka

rating: E words: 4,794 chapters: 1/1

authors summary: “Ah, ah, Too—!”

Hanamaki hates his university dorm.

“—ru, let me cum, please!”

Hold up. That’s a fucking understatement. Let him rephrase it: Hanamaki loathes his university dorm with passion. Detest the damned abomination, abhors it—

“—ru! Coming, coming—”

It has only been a month and Hanamaki already wants to die.

my notes: as u can guess minor iwaoi // rlly well written and bottom hanamaki rights and maybe my favourite matsuhana smutfic??? and hooh boy i simp for matsukawa

call me maybe by totooru

rating: T words: 33,689 chapters: 14/14

author summary: Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.

my notes: minor iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka // god i think this is my favourite matsuhana fic overall, maybe in general, but my god is it great. this is probably a common rec, but its understandable as to why it is. basically au where makki texts matsun (who goes to karasuno) instead of oikawa for tips to beat iwaizumi at an arm wrestling match. but they keep messaging. and holy shit i love their conversations. please read this, it is 256/10

there we go!! i might go a part two with more ships (kagehina, tsukkiyama and iwaoi) but this took up way to much time lol. i have an essay due in a couple hours. but hope u like these fics as much as i do!!

[lillupon]

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask. 

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it. 

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF. 

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community. 

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?  

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)  

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless. 

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well. 

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags. 

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn… 

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

[letterboxd]

Watching John Malkovich.

To understand better why Letterboxd members set out on quests to watch specific actors’ entire filmographies, we invited Tim Rod to describe her dangerous and seductive journey through John Malkovich’s screen history.

For many film lovers, 2020 has been a year of catching up: on franchises, on directors’ filmographies, on historical gaps and top 100s. But for some Letterboxd members, the year indoors has been an opportunity to hyper-focus on a single actor and their work.

Jeremiah Lambert is on a Bacon Fest, Naked Airplane has embarked on a wild ride through the works of De Niro, Hackman, Hoffman, Nicholson and Pacino. Joey is preparing for next year’s centennial of The Kid by churning through Charlie Chaplin’s catalog (with David Robinson’s biography Chaplin: His Life and Art in hand). A quick Twitter survey found others churning through a performer selection as wide-ranging as Burt Lancaster, Parker Posey, Maggie Smith, Nicolas Cage, Cary Grant, Kevin Costner, Robin Williams, Adèle Haenel, Alan Arkin, Sam Rockwell and a Seth Rogen thirst project.

It can be a bumpy journey. In one performer’s oeuvre the quality will range widely, the genres too. But the rewards are many in a close study of craft, and there are revelations, whether it’s that Australia’s Miranda Otto deserves more recognition, or it’s “the total acceptance, lack of judgment, and vulnerability with which Alan Arkin has played so many of his flawed and wonderful characters”.

With Christian Bale in ‘Empire of the Sun’ (1987).

In 2020, no fewer than three movies and two television series starring John Malkovich have been released: Arkansas, Valley of the Gods and Ava, as well as The New Pope and Space Force. The legendary actor has kept himself busy, and I know this because I have seen most of his filmography—41 films and two series—in the span of a single month. I adore Malkovich, always have, and I came out of this experience with a deeper admiration for him, and with some thoughts about his unique, remarkable skills as an actor. (And, I had a really good time.)

Allow me to begin by saying that John Malkovich is the best part of every movie he is in. No matter the movie, Malkovich will always steal the spotlight, and he can turn a good movie into a masterpiece, or an average movie that wouldn’t catch anyone’s attention into one worth watching, if only to see him do his thing.

He’s starred in movies that are considered masterpieces by many: Being John Malkovich (1999), The Killing Fields (1984) and Empire of the Sun (1987). Movies that may be considered the opposite of masterpieces, like Supercon (2018), Eragon (2006) and the most recent Ava (2020), and he’s also starred in some gems that I knew nothing about but am glad to have discovered, such as The Convent (1995), Eleni (1985) and The Ogre (1996). Malkovich has brought to life iconic characters including Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Tom Ripley, Hercule Poirot (in BBC’s The ABC Murders), the artist Gustav Klimt, and several of David Lynch’s people, in the short film Psychogenic Fugue (2016).

As Mitch Leary in ‘In the Line of Fire’ (1993).

Malkovich has received two Academy Award nominations, for Places in the Heart (1984), in which he played Edna’s lodger, the solitary yet kind Mr. Will, and for In the Line of Fire (1993), where he played the complete opposite: the psychotic Mitch Leary, determined to kill the President of the United States. Though Malkovich is not a classic action-film actor, his work in that genre is driven by logic, intellect and emotion, and the delicacy that he employs to challenge concepts of masculinity and keep us guessing. His soft and collected voice threatening Clint Eastwood over the phone is scarier and more effective than a deeper one would have been.

That voice. Malkovich has admitted that he hates the sound of it, that he would always avoid listening to it, just like so many actors avoid watching their own films, but I’m bewitched by his voice and I could never get enough of it. It can be tender, sweet and calming, seductive when the role requires it, and terrifying. With that versatility, it’s not surprising that he has done some narrating work as well, for films including Paul Newman’s The Glass Menagerie (1987) and Alive (1993).

Malkovich is at his best when seduction and villainy combine, as they do in Dangerous Liaisons (1988). Vicomte Sébastien de Valmont has been performed by many actors over the years, but I find Malkovich’s take to be the most memorable and exquisite. He captures perfectly the depravity and evilness of Valmont, but also the nuances, his journey from womanizer to man genuinely in love and, ultimately, his tragic redemption. He even brings a comedic aspect to the character that adds more depth and dimension.

With Glenn Close in ‘Dangerous Liaisons’ (1988).

Valmont is an awful human being, a monster even, and yet, every time I watch this movie, I find myself fascinated by his mastery of the deception, his sensuality and complete control of the situation, until the situation is “beyond his control”. In her review of the film, Catherine Stebbins calls John Malkovich “a sexual force of nature”, and I completely agree. If you want to see more of Malkovich’s sensual side, other notable mentions include The Sheltering Sky (1990), The Object of Beauty (1991) and Beyond the Clouds (1995).

And then there’s Being John Malkovich (1999), in which ‘John Horatio Malkovich’ displays so many facets of his craft. The fictionalized Malkovich is possessed by different characters, one of them a woman. Catherine Keener’s character falls in love with a subtly different version of Malkovich, when he is a vessel for Lotte (Cameron Diaz). Even though Lotte doesn’t have full control of Malkovich, he uses his femininity to bring the character-inside-the-character to center stage, delivering a subtle-yet-perfect performance. Even when we don’t see Lotte, we know she’s there.

John Malkovich as John Horatio Malkovich possessed by Lotte, in ‘Being John Malkovich’ (1999).

Not many actors could pull this off as brilliantly as John Malkovich does. To be fair, not many actors have been given the chance that Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman gave Malkovich: a film with his own name in the title.

I’ve discussed some of the most well-known of Malkovich’s performances, but I’d like to mention an overlooked one that I found heartbreaking and noteworthy. I didn’t know of the existence of The Ogre (1996) until I took a closer look at Malkovich’s filmography. It’s not without its flaws, but I found myself absorbed in the fairy-tale story of Abel, a naïve French prisoner of war who is taken to Nazi Germany and used to recruit children for Hitler’s Youth. Once again, the actor’s duality is on display, as Evan writes in his Letterboxd review: “Malkovich is both queasy and endearing as the (ig)noble simp who just wants to save the babies.” The Ogre tells a tragic story, but thanks to Malkovich’s tenderness, we can’t help but have sympathy for his character. At times it reminded me of the innocence of Lennie in Of Mice and Men (1992), another of the actor’s more noteworthy performances.

One of Malkovich’s great contributions to cinema is elevating an average movie just by being in it. One such role is as English conman Alan Conway in the bizarre true story, Colour Me Kubrick (2005). Malkovich admitted in an interview that he thought his performance was good, and I agree. If there’s one reason to watch that film, it’s to see Malkovich playing an eccentric conman who poses as Stanley Kubrick, using different voices and accents. As TajLV writes, “if there were anything to commend this film other than Malkovich, I’d happily rate it higher”.

As Alan Conway in ‘Colour Me Kubrick’ (2005).

One fun fact: I sometimes forget John Malkovich is American. Maybe it’s because he has starred in many European productions—out of the 41 films I watched, 18 were European. Malkovich is of European descent, has lived in France for a decade and speaks fluent French, which allowed him to star as the mysterious Baron de Charlus in Time Regained (1999), with entirely French dialogue. He also delivers lines in French and Portuguese in A Talking Picture (2003) by Manoel de Oliveira.

You’ve probably heard Malkovich use words, expressions and even entire lines of French dialogue on more than one occasion. He does this often, which gives him a certain European vibe, consistent with his own character, mannerisms and dress sense—elements that he sometimes brings to his characters. Maybe that’s the reason he has played so many intellectuals and artists: professors, scientists, detectives, painters, writers, a scientist and a robot, and even the Pope… It seems there’s nothing John Malkovich can’t do, including directing.

To end my marathon, I watched his directorial debut, The Dancer Upstairs (2002), an assured movie adapted from a novel about the Maoist uprising in Peru in the 1980s, starring Javier Bardem. It was a nice surprise, and a strong start to what could have been a career as a film director, if not for the fact that he doesn’t have the patience to do it again. I recently read an interview where Edgar Wright revealed advice he always gives to directors, which is to make their second movie the one that will define them. I wonder if we will ever see John Malkovich’s second film, but for now, I hope he keeps gifting us with more unforgettable performances. At least we know that in the distant future, along with all the movies he has already appeared in, people will enjoy a never-seen-before performance when Robert Rodríguez’s short 100 years is released in 2115.

If there’s one thing I have learnt after watching most of his filmography, it’s that John Malkovich is one of the best and most versatile actors of our time, with the most unique voice I have heard in cinema, and with a rich filmography that encompasses every genre. And he’s not only a brilliant actor, but also someone I find personally fascinating. I truly find comfort in him. I hope we all get to enjoy his art for years to come, because his talent is limitless and I know he still has so much more to give. John Malkovich deserves all the praise for being a force of nature in the theater and film industry for over 40 years.

Tim is a Letterboxd member based in Spain, who has recently moved on from her John Malkovich marathon to a Sacha Baron Cohen quest.

[m00nagegaydream]

I think 110% of the reason I'm pan and not les, is because of fictional men and (a limited few) male actors. If it wasn't for them, I'd probably be completely gay for women. Like, the only men I honestly find attractive are Bucky, Loki, Peter Parker (and don't worry, I am a minor) and Mark Ruffalo. Otherwise, I'm basically a grade a simp for all women lol. Talk soon, liz

Honestly I feel you. I have no idea what my sexuality and I'm so confused. Like at first, I thought I was bi. Then I realized I didn't like men and concluded that I was lesbian. Then all of a sudden some fictional men and nb characters made me think, "Hey what if I'm pan?" And now? I just don't know. I wanna know. I really really wanna know.