#I can only watch one or two episodes per week though or else that fucking laugh track will rot my brain

[infestedguest]

If the writers of Friends (1994) weren’t cowards Chandler Bing would’ve been bisexual and there would’ve been at least one gag where Joey thought it was specifically because he was the genetic offspring of a straight woman and a gay man, and that’s how all bisexual people are created.

[drunkkenobi]

Oh boy oh boy, here we go.

I waited until this week to do a Ghost Files spreadsheet update because I wanted to do it the same week that I record the older videos. (I have two spreadsheets, one that I only record once a month and one that I do every week) I wanted to see overall what a difference GF has made to Watcher’s shows and views. But first!

All of these videos blow the previous “fastest to one million” Watcher records out of the water. Every Ghost Files episode has hit it in 29 hours or less.

Trending continues to baffle me. As you can see, St. Ignatius did not trend, but had the best opening weekend of them all. I will not and do not understand trending.

The Debriefs are doing about on par that the PostMortems did, with these actually doing better than the most recent PMs did in 2021. They are also quite meatier episode lengths.

You can’t really compare GF to anything else on Watcher’s slate because it’s so doing so far and above everything else. So I’ve been comparing it to the final few seasons of BFU. It’s right on track with those videos, which is pretty amazing considering GF is under a completely different name and channel. I know those of us Watcher fans who have been here since the beginning find the fact that so many people didn’t know it existed baffling, but the algorithm is bizarre and cruel, so I think it’s a huge accomplishment for Ryan and the crew to be right on track with its predecessor.

Also, it is very sweet to me that right now, the top 3 Watcher videos are all from a different Watcher founder. Waverly Hills at #1, Simu’s Dish Granted at #2, and Puppet History’s Dancing Plague at #3. Aw.

One of things I’ve been most excited about with tracking these numbers is how other Watcher series are doing now that Ghost Files is out and so big. This will probably get long, so under a cut.

A lot of Watcher series are up right now, but only the Ryan and Shane shows. Unfortunately, none of Steven or other creators’ shows have gotten a boost from GF. The two exceptions to this are two recent DG episodes. The Uncle Roger episode continues to perform very well (at 908k and counting, twice as much as any other episode from this season) and bless his heart, Zach Kornfeld’s episode got a mini-boost after all the Try Guys drama broke. None of the other Watcher videos featuring Keith or Zach had notable boosts, though. (thank god they never had Ned on, am I right?)

The newest season of TMS has gained an average of 69k (nice) views since GF premiered. Compared to a 4 week run in August, they gained a total of 26k views. The other seasons also got some mild boosts, except the most recent holiday one for whatever reason.

Newest season of AYS averaged new ~14k views over a 4 week period before GF. Now it has averaged ~49k views. Older seasons also got a bit of a boost, although interestingly again, not the second most recent one as much. Maybe people started the playlists at the beginning after watching most recent seasons and didn’t get to the second most recent ones yet?

Most recent season of Puppet History is up to 50k new views per episode since GF, compared to ~28k in the same time period. Older Puppet Histories are also doing very well across the board. Will be interested to see how much this continues with the new season on deck next.

And finally, our dearly beloved Weird and/or Wonderful World. It is not up across the board, but a few episodes have gotten boosts in the past month. Solvang is up 24k, Roller Derby was up 21k, Pop Pals 52k, and Pie Shop 29k. Not sure why only these got boosted, but I will take it. Watcher, please, give this show another chance.

Oh also Tourist Trapped is up 50k.

As of today, October 17, 2022, Watcher has 209,373,478 views across 221 videos. This averages out to 947,391 views per video. This is up from 887k per video that I recorded a month ago. Jesus fucking Christ.

I also subtracted every video that’s premiered since 9/19 to see how the average changes without Ghost Files numbers (or that one off AYS). The average for the 213 videos that premiered before GF is 913k, which is still up quite a bit.

Watcher has gained ~200k new subscribers (at 2.26m) to the channel during this time as well. Their patreon has also gone completely bananas in terms of members. They’re at 6300(!!!!) right now, which again, completely bananas. I know a lot of these folks will probably dip after GF ends for the season, but all of this support only means good things for Watcher. They’ve got more wiggle room now to travel again and try new things and give new creators more shots. After everything we’ve watched this channel go through over the past two and a half years, I could not be prouder. 

As always, thanks y’all for reading! I very much appreciate all the love and nice comments and tags I see on these posts. Glad we are all numbers nerds that are overinvested in Watcher. 

[utahlive]

This ask isn't directly for Wilbur or the blog, but rather the person who runs this. A bit of an ooc ask about world building and expanding this universe since I'm invested

Are we as the audience perceived as people in this universe watching this show/documentary about Utah at our homes, sending in questions via telephone. Or are we just random people that show up in the gas station and keep coming back one by one at random times to talk about the "Dabi cosplayer". (I'd like the imagine the second one; just a but of faceless people pressed up against the glass outside asking the weirdest questions. Fits the vibe)

Do you, the owner of this blog, have a part to play in the universe? Are you the director to the show, a main camera man, or something else.

The fanart that's made for this blog, I'd like to imagine it's—again—just faceless people running up and slapping drawings they make on the convince store windows and running off, leaving the producers and Wilbur with it. Stuff like that :]

Im gonna be honest I said I was gonna do author q&a today specifically so I could answer this ask because I feel weird just answering it willy-nilly

I tend to be... pretty bad at storytelling. I always get wayyy too into my own head, and things get so complicated to a degree where only I can understand whats going on, which is something im obviously trying very hard to avoid. However I don't wanna sacrifice the story I want to tell, so I'm just doing my best here.

One of the biggest limitations right now is that I'm just struggling to explain exactly how the world works/the translation between "Utah" and irl/us. The biggest ones are time and what exactly is being aired, because obviously it doesn't take one whole day to answer two questions, but I don't have the energy to answer more than two q's per day. And of course the 'film crew' arent actually filming Wilbur while he's sleeping or anything like that, but it's hard to tell the story I want to tell without having scenes like that. Im hoping that things will get smoother as we go, but for now I've just been making it so that episodes that dont have 'transcript's in them aren't filmed (or have "artist rendition" notes), and lets say that even though its been over a month of answering questions for us, it's only been two or three weeks for wilbur.

As for what you guys are, you're viewers who are calling in from home! Kinda like a radio show. No one is physically showing up to the store or his house (that would be really funny though). I did have some scrapped ideas that I may bring back later about the film crew, but for now "they" dont have any deeper place in the story. I'm the camera man, I guess! I've been imagining it as just some guy with a camera in one hand, a headset to listen to calls, and a little paper pad to write down answers.

There are 886 asks in the inbox right now! Not all of them are asks, some of them are just comments about whats happening (which I love, I <3 hearing what you guys think) but unfortunately I can't answer all of them. I have a general outline so whenever I do pick story/plot asks, its ones that fit that outline, and every other time I just try to be funny.

nor/mal (jk. he/they/xe)

I was typing out the whole story and reasoning behind the pictures I chose but it was getting way too long (because I ended up going down a rabbit hole). Basically I found an old blog from 2010 where a girl had posted a picture of her room, it was a very positive post so I didn't think it would be offensive to use it (also there's a comment from 2016 on the blog post asking if the image can be used as reference, no reply, the author of the blog has not logged in for years). The bathroom was made in the Sims 4/I used pictures of my own dorm bathroom

smoked a blunt in the woods and thought about cwilbur's character arc a little too hard

im shy 👉👈

fucks me up that people continue to think about this blog after liking/reblogging

[joomma]

Fc Utrecht Ugly Christmas Sweater

Fc Utrecht Ugly Christmas Sweater

Dean gets to their motel and Sam’s dressed it all up, even though he spent much of the Fc Utrecht Ugly Christmas Sweater not wanting to celebrate. They share some jokes for the rest of the episode, clearly trying not to get teary-eyed or reminisce too much about their…well, mostly shitty lives. They share some presents, express some gratitude, drink some eggnog, and watch a game on TV. Smiling and enjoying each other’s company. I love this episode and it goes down as my favorite Christmas story because the writers did not hold back on making it bittersweet as fuck. These two poor sons of bitches have almost nothing at all – they’re sitting in a cheap motel, both their parents are dead, Dean is going to be dragged to Hell for eternity within the year, and the only reason they wake up in the morning to save other people is because they literally cannot do anything else now that they’ve been hunting for so long.

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motees    jeeppremium  telotee

7 Learn about the many exercises to develop and warm up the Rick And Morty Aop Hawaii Shirt . By this I don’t mean scales and the relatively slack routine things they teach about mouth articulation of words, I mean the much more involved physical exercises that drive the diaphragm, rib cage, throat, tongue and jaw exercises that focus on getting the vocal cords and resonance developed into a fine singers voice, so you’re getting the complete output of all harmonics and frequencies you can, from deep bass to high treble and higher harmonics. You shouldn’t have to feel like higher range notes have to be a physical chore to muscle into as if you were pumping barbells to sing those notes. You have to liberate the vocal cords and condition the muscles and tissues around them for the activity of singing. Note : most singing instruction does not do this!

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[metalandmagi]

Winter 2021 Anime Worth Watching!

Since 2020 basically sacrificed itself to give us the most stacked anime season of all time, I’m currently buried under the weight of almost 20 shows airing per week. So for anyone who’s looking for some anime to watch this winter, here’s some first impressions! I’m speed running my list this time by only talking about the new shows...because otherwise this would be my great American novel. 

If anyone’s interested, I have master lists for both 2020 anime and 2019 anime, because there’s no shortage of fun things to find. 

New Shows!

And before anyone asks, So I’m A Spider, So What? isn’t on here, because CG spiders freak me out.

Cells At Work Code Black: This...less comedic spin off of Cells At Work (made by a different studio) takes the wholesome concept of Osmosis Jones meets cute anime girls and turns it on its head. In this much more depressing version, we follow a rookie red blood cell who works in the body of an overly stressed, alcoholic smoker who puts every strain on the body imaginable. I love Red Blood Cell AA2153 and his co-workers, but man am I glad we get the regular Cells At Work airing this season too, because I need something fun and uplifting after seeing my sweet son go through hell every episode. 

*Heaven’s Design Team: Have you ever wondered how God came up with some of the weird ass animals that live on this planet? Like, what’s the deal with giraffes? And why can’t we have dragons and flying horses? Well this is a comedy about the engineers and designers in heaven creating the new animals that are going to inhabit the Earth. That’s it, that’s the show. It’s kind of in the same vein as Cells At Work, having comedy blend with a surprising amount of educational information. If you want something light and funny, this is the show for you (though I don’t think it needs to have full length episodes). I’m just hoping there’s an episode about how the hell the platypus was created. Also it’s the only new one available on Crunchyroll.

Horimiya: A romantic comedy about a girl named Hori who fits the image of a perfect queen bee and a quiet bespectacled boy named Miyamura who never makes an impression at school. When the two meet by chance outside of the classroom, we see that Hori is practically raising a younger brother by herself, and Miyamura is actually a sweet guy who happens to be covered in tattoos and piercings. This show is an exercise in breaking down the images people have of others in their minds, and it’s a concept that really hits home in a fun and meaningful way. Honestly, this has become one of my immediate favorites. The characters have great chemistry, and I can’t wait to see more of them!

Monster Incidents (Kemono Jihen): When big shot Tokyo detective Inugami is called to a rural town to investigate a series of strange animal deaths, he finds a mysterious boy with the nickname Dorotabo who has been shunned by the other children in town. As the detective gets closer to Dorotabo, he discovers that there may be more...inhuman secrets to the boy than he realizes...and Dorotabo discovers that Inugami has some secrets of his own. This is a hard show to sell without spoiling the first episode, but it had twists and turns that kept me engaged from start to finish. I’m really interested to see where the plot goes, because I thought this was going to be something totally different just from the PV and series summary. If it plays its cards right, this could be a great paranormal detective show!

Wonder Egg Priority: A psychological drama about a girl named Ai who starts having dreams about a mysterious egg that promises to give her what she wants most in the world...a true friend. Before long, she begins to see how the dream world and reality are tied together, and trippy antics ensue. It’s hard to say more without spoiling anything, but I had to go back and add this one in because I made the mistake of thinking it was an OVA when it’s actually a full series. And what a series it’s starting out to be. This anime has all the psychological discomfort of a Satoshi Kon product with the beauty and style of something from Kyoani (even though it’s made by Clover Works). It’s really one of those anime you just have to see to understand.

Sk8-∞ (Skate the infinity): An original skateboarding anime from Bones, featuring a typical sports anime protagonist who takes a new transfer student who has never skateboarded in his life under his wing. Together they compete in dangerous races and take the skating community by storm. The character designs rival Appare Ranman’s in outlandish creativity, and I can smell the main characters’ ship dynamic a mile away (considering they’re exactly the same as the protagonists from Robihachi). If you’re looking for some wild and crazy fun with top notch skateboarding animation, don’t skip this!

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu (Seiin High School Boys Volleyball Club): Yes, it’s another volleyball anime. And no, it’s not just a clone of Haikyu. This story follows Yuni Kuroba, a physically built but emotionally weak teenager who finds out his childhood friend Hajime is moving back to their hometown for high school. Yuni discovers Hajime has become an exceptional volleyball player and they join their school’s volleyball club hoping to turn the unknown team into a rising star. If anything, this anime is much more like Stars Align or Free, where the sport is a backdrop for letting the characters explore their personal problems. Or at least it seems that way after the first episode. I went into this show ready to throw it in the trash because how could anything compete against my beloved Haikyu, but I found myself really enjoying the dynamics of the main duo and I’m curious to see what the rest of the team is like.

And speaking of sports anime rip-offs…..I can’t believe I’m including this but…

Skate Leading Stars: The show where the animators clearly wanted to design another throw away idol anime but saw how popular Yuri On Ice was so they decided to make whatever the hell this show is instead. It revolves around a fictional team sport called skate leading, and we follow the world’s most insufferable main character, a former figure skater named Kensei who wants to return to the ice and join his school’s skate leading team after he finds out his childhood rival is going to compete in the sport. Look, this show is just trashy enough to get a certain type of audience hooked, and it mainly has to do with the best boy of the winter season, Hayato Sasugai, the aspiring team “coach” who pulled most of us into watching this show with his punk appearance, snide comments and smug personality. He’s basically the lovechild of Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima in a high school sports anime setting. The show treats itself with the perfect amount of sincerity to get away with being absolutely ridiculous most of the time without making you feel like you’re watching it from a dumpster...like Try Knights. You will know after one episode whether this show is for you. All I can say is, Hayato is worth the watch, and I haven’t seen any 3D animation used for the skating scenes (yet) so that’s a win for me. 

Honorable mention:

Jobless Reincarnation ( Mushoku Tensei): Yet another isekai where the main character is hit by a car (big surprise) and gets reincarnated into a fantasy world...but he happens to remember his previous life and narrates himself growing up as a jaded adult. I’m only including this because it looked amazing animation wise, and I love the opening where getting hit by a car and dying is actually traumatic. And I love the protagonist’s parents (who are retired adventurers who just want to bang all the time). But honestly...the main character is the fucking worst, and I don’t know if I want to keep watching it because of how creepy and weird he is. Like...he’s the hit on your fantasy mom as a baby kind of creepy and weird. But for anyone who wants a cool looking isekai that had an amazing PV, it’s worth checking out. 

Continuing Series!

Because the real gold of the season is in all the established anime getting their next seasons, I’m just going to list some of the things that are also amazing and definitely worth checking out if you haven’t already (because I’ve already talked about most of them at some point and don’t know what else to say).

Attack On Titan season 4

The Promised Neverland season 2

Beastars season 2

Log Horizon season 3

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime season 2

Re: Zero season 2 (second cour)

Dr. Stone season 2

Cells at Work season 2

Osomatsu-san season 3 (second cour)

Higurashi New (second cour)

Jujutsu Kaisen (second cour) 

Not to mention all the shows I don’t watch that everyone else loves...like World Trigger (which I have seen quite a bit of, but long shounen shows are too much for me now) Quintessential Quintuplets, and Non Non Biyori. 

So there’s just some of all the anime airing this season. Hopefully, someone can find something they like. Here’s to a great year...well, of anime at least...

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 311: Hand Gun

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “thinkin’ about dropping in some woke analogies of the very real and very presently relevant issue of racial profiling idk what do you guys think” and then shrugged and did it without waiting for an answer, and ngl it was a bit sudden, but I’m here for it. All Might was all “DEKU YOU NEED TO EAT” and Deku was all “OKAY” and took his hero bento and went to go stand dramatically on a tower in the rain whilst having some highly anticipated Vestige flashbacks. OFA II was all, “sup, I guess I’m not Kacchan... OR AM I,” and ngl I think he is?? Alternate universes anybody?? Hello??? But anyway, so OFA the First a.k.a. Yoichi was all “remember that time you guys rescued me from my evil brother and Two took my hand and we Had A Moment?”, and Two and Three were all “ahh yeah good times”, and it was very nice and very, very gay. The chapter ended with it being very unclear if Two and Three have actually lent their power to Deku yet or not lmao. Y’all need to get your shit together dudes.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “what if I gave a random bad guy a fucking tommy gun that shoots nails” and jesus christ calm down son. The Hawksquad, a.k.a. SQUAWK as per @hotchocolatier​, are all “time to drive aimlessly around town acting like Deku has a restraining order on us because that’s literally the best plan to combat the League we could come up with,” and I have no further comment. Hawks is all “idk about you guys but I want to know more about AFO and Tomura’s whole deal” and I can’t remember the last time I identified so strongly with one of these characters. All Might is all, “[EXPLODES???]”, and the chapter ends with that mysterious hot girl from the Tartarus breakout being all “HELLO I CAN TURN INTO A GUN AND I LITERALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK” and (1) WOW, and (2) IT’S TRUE, SHE CAN, AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T. GODDAMN.

(ETA: so this wholly escaped my notice on the first go, and also has nothing to do with the chapter itself, but I only just realized that this chapter was scanlated by a new group, TCB Scans. they actually did a very good job, and I’m curious if they’ve found a new RAW provider, because the quality this week is actually crazy good in comparison to what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I’m gonna have to get caught up on what exactly happened here lol.)

so what will it be this week? more Vestige antics? more of Sad Nomad Deku standing on buildings and pretending like he’s some cool aloof antihero, as if he could fool us when we all know his hero backpack is secretly stuffed full with his nerd diaries and the remnants of all the hero bentos that All Might keeps giving him?? or, just putting it out there, just a crazy thought, but you don’t suppose we might actually cut back to U.A.? mmm. side-eyes emoji

maaaaaan I’m starting to get tired of this trend of beginning chapters by dropping in on random power-tripping civilians and/or Shindou lol. just once can we get a chapter that opens with someone I actually give a fuck about

oh at least Endeavor is here

A WHAT SUPPORT ITEM!??! HOLY SHIT DDLKJSLFKJL

lol somehow that’s more terrifying than bullets for me?? like I’m fully aware that bullets will fuck you up way worse and that in real life nail guns probably don’t work like this AT ALL and only have a range of like... hold up let me just google... up to 100 to 150 m/s and distances of up to 500m wait WHAT

okay wait. hold up. like I was expecting google to tell me nail guns only shoot a few feet at most, and instead the first search result is some CDC blog article that’s “dispelling” the “””myth””” -- please note my repeated sarcastic quotation marks -- that nail guns can fire 1400 feet per second, by explaining that actually they can fire anywhere from 315 ft/sec to 1,295 ft/sec, and that “it is in the pneumatic nail gun user’s best interest to handle these tools as if they were a firearm despite having a lower velocity” dlkjdslkjflkl

SO THAT SCENE IN IRON MAN 3 WHERE TONY RAIDS A HOME DEPOT AND BUYS A BUNCH OF RANDOM TOOLS AND SHIT AND GOES ON TO STAGE A ONE-MAN INVASION OF AN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST’S FLORIDA MANSION HQ IS ACTUALLY TRUE. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THE FILM “HOME ALONE” IS ACTUALLY A DOCUMENTARY. “the Discovery Channel television program “Mythbusters” compared the penetration capacity of an airborne projectile shot from a pneumatic framing nail gun to that of a 9mm hand gun” HELLO YES AND A MERRY “WHAT THE FUCK” TO YOU AS WELL

anyway, so. there’s apparently a reason why the Number One hero, who can burn people with the intensity of a sun going supernova, is hiding here behind this concrete support column making frowny faces. nope. nuh uh. he ain’t about that. I don’t blame you buddy

so now he’s barrel rolling out of his hiding place and setting this dude THE FUCK ON FIRE because HELL NO. BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO WATCH THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM EPISODE LAST WEEK! YOU TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE

LOL look at his face

I know the context is actually him being all “I know I’m responsible for basically everything that happened and so that’s why I’m so grim and serious about this mission to set things right piece by piece,” but in my mind this pissed-off face is 100% all because this dude tried to shoot his eye out with a nail gun. look at that. you made him go full flame face again. beard and all. protecting his face so that it can hopefully melt any stray nails that get too close. nope nope nope

good lord. so what’s up next. let me guess the guy fighting Best Jeanist has like an atomic chainsaw or some shit

lol nope we’re just cutting back to Hawks and Jeanist chilling in the Jesla after they’ve wrapped things up

Jeanist has got some serious Groot energy you guys jesus christ he’s like 12 feet tall

oh snap someone threw a pipe at him now

today is just the chapter of Endeavor being assaulted by random DIY tools I guess

I mean, I get why they’re pissed at him obviously; I would be too lol. but tbh I also don’t really understand the “get out of here we don’t want your help” attitude that all of these people suddenly seem to have?? like it if were me, I would be fucking DEMANDING for him and the other heroes to be working round the clock to fix their stupid mess. I mean who else is gonna do it?? it’s their mess, I sure don’t want to be the one to clean it up instead. anyways but whatever lol

oh shit?

so they haven’t dropped the whole “OFA secret potentially gets revealed to the world” thing yet after all. that makes sense I suppose, it did seem like that whole thing wound up playing out a bit too easily

anyway so yeah

the locals are definitely none too happy. well at least Dabi’s got something to be cheerful about I guess

so now we’re cutting to the interior of the Jesla and they’re chitchatting about the current investigation

oh wow this actually makes a bit of sense now. so there was a reason they were keeping their distance from Deku

please note that even in this abstract Endeavor’s-Mental-Image-Of-Him panel, Deku’s eyes still don’t have the light in them anymore :( my poor son

also ftr I still think using Deku as bait in this particular sense is the shittiest idea ever ngl. like sure, let’s let the sixteen-year-old run around battling miscellaneous escaped prison convicts while we stay several kilometers away ON PURPOSE despite the fact that you’re using him as bait to draw out the Big Bad, who just a reminder can destroy anything with a mere touch and who you were all basically helpless against. what exactly are you all planning to do if Tomura or one of the other League VIPs actually shows up to retrieve him?? are you even keeping tabs on him at all in real time?? jesus

(ETA: well that escalated quickly lol.)

Horikoshi is all of a sudden dropping whole pages of exposition here and I can’t be bothered to summarize this lol so just,

a big fat YES to what Jeanist said, though. that’s why imo they would have been better off laying a trap at U.A. rather than just wandering around out in the open. I assume they’re trying to cut their potential losses because U.A. is full of students (and civilians), but those students also happen to be more capable than pretty much anyone else in the manga at this point. and tbh they’re already in life-threatening danger regardless of how things play out from here on, so they might as well at least try to use the few advantages they have right now. U.A. is almost certainly going to come under siege at some point anyway, so they might as well prepare for it

lol I don’t think I’m explaining this very well because I don’t have the patience right now to break it down point by point like it really ought to be, so for now I’ll just say that imo “U.A. siege” stands a good chance of being the eventual endgame even now, and so this whole “Deku runs around being bait” arc is really just killing time until then lol. like and subscribe for more rambling nonsensical takes such as this. maybe next time I’ll even put it all into one single sentence for maximum meandering senior citizen rant value

well it’s nice that they’re finally talking about all of this I guess

we readers have known all of this for months now but this confirms the heroes are finally caught up. ALSO, Hawks is so fucking smart, as always. kinda wonder if things would have played out differently if All Might had let him in on the secret a bit earlier. probably that’s why Horikoshi made damn sure they didn’t find out until after the War arc lol

OH MY GOD YOOOOOO HAWKS OUT HERE ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

“anyone else wondering why AFO bothered to raise Tomura as his fake heir for fifteen years when he was secretly planning on taking over his body the whole time” YES, [raises hand] lmao Hawks where the hell were you when I was debating this “AFO is the final villain and Tomura is just his pawn” thing on multiple occasions over the past several years lol

lmao seeing them debate the metaphysics of OFA and all of its mystical bullshit is seriously surreal you guys

JEANIST HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY META TAG I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY ESSAYS. I ACTUALLY WAS PLANNING ON WRITING ANOTHER ESSAY ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M PRETTY SURE HAWKS IS ABOUT TO BRING UP, BUT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT WHOOPS, BUT MAYBE I WILL NOW LOL LET’S SEE HOW IT GOES

yes!!

WHICH AFO FUCKING ENSURED HE WOULD BE BY LITERALLY PLANNING OUT EVERY LAST DETAIL OF HIS FAMILY TRAGEDY, FROM SECRETLY GIVING TENKO THE QUIRK TO MAKING SURE NO CIVILIANS OR HEROES WOULD HELP HIM UNTIL AFO FINALLY STEPPED IN. I’M 1000% CONVINCED THIS IS THE CASE YOU GUYS. NOT JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAN OF “THE WORLD IS A FUNDAMENTALLY SHITTY PLACE, ACTUALLY” TAKES BECAUSE MISTER ROGERS TOLD ME TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE HELPERS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY JUST DOESN’T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE OTHERWISE. THEIR ENTIRE HOUSE CAVED IN FFS, YOU’RE TELLING ME NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS FUCKING OVERHEARD THAT SHIT AND WENT “UMMMMMMMMM” AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON?? “DIDN’T THERE USED TO BE A HOUSE HERE, AND LIKE A WHOLE FAMILY, AND SHIT?”

LIKE I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S ONE THING TO SAY IT’S REALISTIC THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON WOULD ATTEMPT TO HELP THE WANDERING TRAUMATIZED CHILD AFTERWARDS (WHICH I DISAGREE WITH AS WELL BUT AT LEAST THAT’S MORE SUBJECTIVE), AND IT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING TO ARGUE THAT IT’S REALISTIC THAT NO ONE WOULD BE FUCKING NOSY. LIKE THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS” ENTIRELY LOL. anyway tl;dr AFO is a piece of shit and Tomura’s entire worldview is based on a magnificently intricate and savagely cruel lie more at 11

anyway so after all that ranting it looks like that wasn’t even what Hawks was talking about after all lol. I just went off for absolutely no reason lol oh well. instead it seems that Hawks is suggesting that Tomura’s carefully cultivated hatred might not yet have actually reached “can defeat OFA” levels even after all of that trauma. interesting!

don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here while my brain furiously scrambles to put together all the parallels between Hawks and Tomura that it never noticed before until exactly this second. like I’m not even sure that was the intent here at all (I need to check out another translation or two lol), but regardless my mind decided that now would be the perfect time to make the connection between these two twenty-somethings who both had horrific childhoods and spent years being molded by their respective manipulative guardians, and developed eerily similar “laugh at everything because what else can you do” coping mechanisms to deal with it all hmmmmm

anyway so they were talking more about their strategy, but now all of a sudden Jeanist’s phone is beeping??

AND NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO ALL MIGHT AND HIS MIGHTMOBILE DAMMIT so that means the call to Jeanist was actually something important then!! WAS IT BAKUGOU OMG. DOES YOUR INTERN WANT A WORD FFFKLFSJK please it’s been so long I just need a little crumb or two to tide me over lmao have mercy

anyway so All Might’s following the GPS tracking device he’s apparently got planted on Deku (which in my conspiracy headcanons he’s actually had for a long time now, like since before DvK2 lol because HOW ELSE WOULD HAVE HAVE KNOWN THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN GROUND BETA, PEOPLE) and thinking angsty thoughts about Deku’s sucky life

AND NOW ALL MIGHT’S PHONE IS RINGING TOO?? BAKUGOU HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CALLING. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE NERD GODDAMMIT”

OMG

lol is he under attack or is he just finally giving All Might the slip like we all know he SECRETLY PLANNED TO ALL ALONG oh my poor dumb angstmuffin

OMG AHHHHHHH WHAT

DID ALL MIGHT JUST FUCKING DIE LMAO NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG

THE FUCK IS THAT. AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NAIL

OH IT’S A SPEAKER!! OMG DID THEY TAKE ALL MIGHT HOSTAGE

“THEY’RE HERE” WELP, TIME TO SEE JUST HOW SHITTY THIS SHITTY PLAN REALLY IS LOL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHE!!!!

omg. AND OVERHAUL JUST CHILLING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND ALL “WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO DO I’VE GOT NO FUCKING ARMS” YEAH GOOD RIDDANCE LOL

DOES THIS GIRL HAVE ONE GIANT LEG OR WHAT, LIKE WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE

-- HOLD UP WAIT, THE GUN IS HER ARM, HOLY SHIT SHE CAN TURN INTO A GUN -- OKAY HOLD UP BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY THAT IN BIGGER TEXT BECAUSE !!!!

YOU GUYS, THE COOL TARTARUS GIRL IS BACK AND HER QUIRK IS “CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN.” THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MY BEST GIRL MT. GUN IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH HER QUIRK “CAN DO ANYTHING A GUN CAN DO.” “I HEARD Y’ALL WENT AND NAMED ONE OF YOUR HEROES ‘GUNHEAD’ EVEN THOUGH HIS HEAD ISN’T EVEN A GUN, LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE” DANG OKAY

lmao only fifteen pages this week, and STILL NO KACCHAN (THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!!), but man I don’t even care because finally we’ve got a cliffhanger that’s actually deserving of being a cliffhanger! hot dog. okay then

[halstudandruz]

Research Purposes ~ Part 3

*Gif: Not mine; credit to @thompsonconnors

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader/ Adam Ruzek x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: What happened after Adam catches you and Jay? Part 1 (18+) here /// Part 2 here

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: I used some dialogue from S6E10, but the rest of the episode doesn’t pertain

A/N 2: Wouldn’t you all be pissed if I ended up putting the reader with Ruzek 😂

You and Jay were on his couch silently eating pizza and watching Hulu. Not having said very many words to each other in the last two hours.

“I didn’t want him to find out that way.” You eventually broke the silence. Jay reached for the remote pausing the show to turn and face you as you sat up away from where you were cuddled into his side. “I mean I wasn’t ecstatic about him sleeping with Hailey, but if he would’ve just told me and been upfront about it I think I could’ve handled it better.” You admitted.

“So you wouldn’t have slept with me in other words?” He joked making you chuckle.

“Oh I still would’ve done that.” You smiled.

“I think he just didn’t want to hurt you. You know Adam. That would have never been his intention.” Jay replied.

“Well no I don’t think he did it on purpose, but I just turned around and did the same thing to him. What if he thinks it was out of spite?” You sighed.

“You don’t have any obligations to each other any more, [Y/N].” Jay shook his head.

“I know it’s hard for you to understand, and it’s hard for me to explain to be honest. You have to remember we were engaged. It wasn’t some fling. Our relationship was serious. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to have a family with him, and when it ended it hurt like hell. I know I don’t have any obligation to him, but in order to see him everyday. Work with him everyday. There has to be a different kind of respect, a different kind of… regard for each other than we have with everyone else or it won’t work.” You tried to explain.

“Then why didn’t you just tell him about us?” Jay finally asked.

“Because I don’t even know what’s going on here.” You laughed, “I mean are we just fucking? Cause if that’s the case we should be doing a lot more of it.” You pointed out, reminding him how more and more nights have ended in just a cuddle session in his bed.

“You know I’m not good with emotions and saying how I feel, [Y/N].” He sighed, “I honestly didn’t expect for this to happen. One night of fun turned into wanting you here every night. Ya know? Regardless of whether it ended in us sleeping together or you just... in my arms.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Jay, if they go up in flames and Hailey comes running to you where does that leave me?” You eventually asked the question that had been pegging you for the last few weeks.

“You know that’s not fair to ask me when I could ask you the same thing.” He replied.

“You don’t think I know that?” You questioned, head falling into your hands, “I don’t know, Jay. Okay? I-I don’t know!”

“What are you saying?” He pushed.

“I’m saying maybe it shouldn’t be this hard.” You shook your head, emotions running through you, tense silence falling between you two again. “I’m really tired.” You admitted, leaning your head against the back of the couch.

“Alright come on let’s go to bed.” He stood up turning the tv off and moving to clean your plates up.

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” You asked, biting at your lip and he turned to give you an incredulous look.

“Why would you think I would want that? You know I sleep better with you beside me.” He replied making you smile, body feeling just a little bit lighter.

“Yeah me too.” You agreed, helping him clean a little before going through your bedtime routines comfortably. Sliding naturally into his body once you laid down.

“Goodnight, baby.” Jay whispered into your hair laying a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Goodnight.” You said, returning a light kiss onto his chest, nuzzling further into his arms.

“Come on [Y/N] you gotta get up.” Jay tried to wake you with soft kisses across your neck and shoulder. Groaning you didn’t move, “I promise I let you sleep as long as possible.”

“Can we just get my car registered for a spot already?” You whined.

“You’re the one that said that was and I quote “testing our luck and a waste of money.”” He teased.

“I will give my life savings for ten more minutes of sleep.” You replied, sinking further back into Jay’s warm chest.

“No, no, no!” He lectured rolling away from you.

“Ugh, fine.” You grumbled pulling yourself out of his bed turning to see him lying in only his boxers, “Are you trying to provoke me?” You gestured to his body causing him to chuckle.

“If I wanted to provoke you I could do a hell of a lot better than this.” He smirked, “Plus I already got my own shower this morning so no go.” He shooed you away getting up to riffle through his dresser. Rolling your eyes you trudged to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

The ride to the district was filled with a comfortable silence, the tension from the night before gone. He put his truck in park after pulling up behind your car.

“Just so you know I’m gonna stay at my place tonight.” You informed him, reaching for the door handle.

“What? Why?” He practically whined, but a nervous tone seeped in as well.

“Because I see you all day everyday and I would like to binge a carton of ice cream without your judging eyes on me the entire time.” You joked.

“I do not judge you.” He defended.

“Uh huh of course not babe. See you in a few.” You leaned over to give him a quick kiss before climbing out of the truck.

When you got to the district Trudy whistled to you summoning you over. You stood in front of it, hands clasped together on her desk. “Goodmorning.” You stated cautiously.

“Wanna tell me why rebel without a cause looks like someone pissed in his coffee this morning?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“No, I do not.” You replied.

“Well then just a friendly warning to step cautiously today.” She looked back down at her desk nodding her head towards the steps.

“Yeah..thanks Sarge.” You sighed moving to buzz in. You could feel the edginess when you entered the bullpen, but you couldn’t tell who else had noticed it. “Goodmorning.” You mumbled passing everyone on the way to your desk. Luckily everyone was able to work normally despite the obvious agitation in Adam’s demeanor, but per Platt’s advice you stayed out of his way as much as possible.

“Alright so we do it the old-fashioned way. Farm it off. Every beat cop and CTA worker, get every gang and tact unit across the city. If someone knows this guy, that picture’s gonna be enough to spark it. Ruzek, you run it past Mark.” Hank ordered before moving back into his office. Everyone nodded moving towards Jay’s desk to make plans. Adam moved off on his own and out of the corner of your eye you watched Hailey follow behind him. Sighing you looked back to Kevin making mental notes of the plan he was laying out to Jay.

“Alright let’s roll.” Kevin shrugged on his jacket when you heard yelling in the distance. The three of you exchanged confused glances before you easily picked up Adam’s voice.

“It’s Adam and Hailey. They’re downstairs.” You informed the two men, detouring your route to hurrying down the steps, their voices only getting louder as you made your way towards them.

“I’m not gonna talk about policing with you again!” Adam’s distinct voice carried.

“I care about you, I care about you and I-“ Hailey fought back, stopping to turn when she noticed the three of you enter the room.

“We can hear you guys in the stairwell. What the hell are you doing?” Jay asked, looking between the two. Hailey looking guilty and Adam standing at defense, restlessness clear in his frame, from more than just the conversation you were guessing.

“Nothing. It’s fine. Sorry.” Hailey cleared her throat, shaking her head.

“You cannot be having this conversation here. It’s not the time or place.” Jay warned, glancing back up the steps.

“Oh but it’s a perfectly fine place for you to stick your tongue down [Y/N]’s throat?” Adam bit back and you watched Hailey’s eyes go wide flicking between all of you.

“What?” She asked and the look in her eyes at the information pinged a feeling of jealousy deep in your stomach.

“Oh yeah you didn’t know?” Adam took a step towards Jay, anger radiating off of him.

“Watch yourself. Who do you think you're talking to?” Jay straightened his body, jaw clenched.

“I’m not scared of you, Halstead. I’m not some rookie straight out of the academy anymore.” Adam pointed out.

“All of you, cool it.” Kevin whispered harshly stepping between the two men, ”unless you want Voight to find out whatever is going on here I suggest you all get back to what you were supposed to be doing.” He ordered. Adam threw you a cold glare before maneuvering around Kevin and heading up the stairs.

“We’re supposed to be out securing an ID.” Jay grumbled stalking out of the door, Hailey following behind slowly.

“To be a fly on the wall in that car.” Kevin winced looking back to you.

“Yeah.” You laughed dryly. Starting to walk towards the parking lot.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine.” He tried to reassure you once he slipped into the driver's seat, starting the engine. Kevin knew more of what was going on then anybody else did. You and him had been partners in crime since your first day at the district and even before that in the academy. Your partnership was comfortable and he knew you better than most people. You had each other’s backs always, and even though he was best friends with Adam, who had without a doubt been chirping in his ear about his discovery the night prior, Kevin always remained neutral. So, you knew he would lay it straight for you. He found out about you and Jay the Monday after it had happened. You were pretty good at hiding stuff, but not with him. He could read you like a book.

“This is such a fucking mess.” You huffed watching out the window.

“Well I’m certainly not going to tell you you’re wrong there.” He agreed blatantly, “You should’ve been more careful.”

“You don’t think I know that, Kev? But it’s done now. He knows and I have to find a way to deal with it. I don’t even understand why he’s so mad. He’s doing the same thing with her, and I didn’t act like a jealous teenager when I found out. What he just did was unnecessary.” You sighed heavily knowing that there was more to the story. “I know he’s going through more than just this. I can tell this case is getting to him and he’s struggling and honestly it kills me that I can’t be there for him. It kills me every time I can’t help him through it. I miss him and what we had, but maybe it is for the best. But.. I don’t fucking know! How am I supposed to know?” You slammed a fist against the dashboard and Kevin didn’t even flinch. Adam was impulsive and had a short fuse, but what had happened a few minutes prior was not something Adam would do on a normal day.

“So, what are going to do about it?” Kevin asked looking over at you expectantly, but all that came was silence. You didn’t know. Did Adam still want to be with you? Was that why he was so angry or was it just a lingering reaction? If he was jealous, if this thing between you the two of you was still a possibility then what? Plus Hailey knew now. What if that pushed her in a direction you didn’t want her to go? Maybe it opened her eyes. Maybe she was confessing her feelings to Jay right now in his truck and that scared you. An uncomfortable selfish feeling radiated through your body at the thought. The unknown was starting to terrify you. The possibilities, the factors, all of it was too much and you weren’t sure how it was going to play out.

You had finished the case getting out of the district at a decent time that day. Which you were glad for. The room was starting to feel too small. You needed space to breathe and room to think. Which is exactly what you did. For hours until you came to a conclusion. You loved both of them, but in the end you knew who you wanted, who you needed.

You couldn’t keep dragging them around like this. Dragging yourself around like this. You were going to figure it out and you were going to face it head on. Walking up to his door your heart was racing. You had already made up your mind, but that didn’t mean you weren’t scared to actually face it. Taking a deep breath your knuckles lightly rapped the door. How were you supposed to tell someone you loved you didn’t want to be with them? Shifting on your feet you couldn’t help, but chew on your lip, anxiety only heightening when the door swung open.

“We need to talk.”

All Taglist:

@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @grettiwrites @inlovewith3 @wanniiieeee

Jay Taglist:

@jayxhalsteadx @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @toomuchtv95 @queen-of-arda @sofferderynnp

Taglist for series: @miranda0102 @5sos-imagine @5hundreddaysofsummer @a-f-f-a-n-c-u-l-o

[nat-20s]

 Part 8 of the wonderful! Au: the boys answer some questions! Up to you to decide if they actually clarify anything!

(also on AO3)

~*~

Martin: Hey everyone! I know what some of you are thinking right now: it's not Tuesday, why is this episode in my feed? I know significantly more of you are thinking: I don't consistently keep up with podcast releases, how much free time do you think I have, buddy? To answer your queries: this is a bonus episode! We're answering listener questions to clear the air and/or have fun. Also, I don't know, around 20 to 40 minutes a week, as that is the average amount of time per episode? Maybe during your commute? My husband's omnipotence has been gone for five years, we just have to guess at that sort of thing now.

Jon: For legal reasons, that last statement was a joke. In fact, to cover all of our bases, we do not guarantee that any of our responses are genuine.

Martin: Just because we say we'll answer things doesn't mean we'll answer truthfully. Though, honestly, I think we might make it more enjoyable if we do tell the truth. Like, I don't necessarily have a fun lie prepared for our first question from konspiracyking97: "What's their fuckin deal anyway?"

Jon: Is this referring to the oblique references  we've made about being from a parallel reality and only ending up here as a consequence of ending one apocalypse and potentially starting another or the general premise of the show?

Martin: Oh, it's gotta be general premise, yeah?

Jon: In that case, I'm Jon, the other voice you're hearing is Martin, we're married, and we talk about things that are..nice? Good? Usually generally but occasionally rather specifically pleasant.

Martin: That pretty much covers it. It's not a complicated show. Uhh, next question comes from Shane: are either or both of you aliens? Nope!

Jon: Well..

Martin: No. We are 100% human people from Earth, we are under no definition extraterrestrial.

Jon: Eh..

Martin: Okay, first off, I know the tone of that 'eh' and "not fully human" is not synonymous with alien, so even if 100% is being a bit generous, we're still from the same planet as our listeners.

Jon:..

Jon: But. We sort of aren't though. Technically speaking.

Martin: No no no no no. I don't care if it's parallel, Earth is Earth is Earth, regardless of whatever nonsense metaphysics might be occurring.

Jon: So what you're saying is that if you got sucked through a portal and landed on an Earth where dinosaurs were still the predominant species, you wouldn't consider yourself to be an alien?

Martin: Nope!

Jon: I'm certain that they would consider you an alien. All of their mammals are probably shrew sized.

Martin: Sounds like a them problem.

Jon: Sounds like a-?! You know what, no, this will be an off the record debate, for now, I suppose I concede that the two Earths and our physiologies are similar enough that we might, maybe, not count as aliens.

Martin: Thank you. Anyway, our next question is from anonymous, and asks, "Is all of this an ARG?"

Jon: A whomst?

Martin: Alternate reality game. It's a method of storytelling that's interactive with audience, and usually has, I dunno, a certain suspension of disbelief to it where it pretends to be something actually happening in the real world until a dramatic reveal. A lot times it was used as a marketing gimmick, but others have done it just for fun. I can show you some examples after the show?

Jon: So it's in essence a more involved creepypasta?

Martin, delighted: Aw, babe, I'm never going to have a handle on what pop culture you are and aren't aware of, huh?

Jon: We were born within a year of each other, and I've told you that I was a deeply morbid teenager, you should probably be able to intuit some of things, love.

Martin: This coming from a man who has yet to see "It's a Wonderful Life", but has seen every film in the "Banjo Cannibals" franchise, including the Easter special. Jesus doesn't exist in the Banjo Cannibals universe, why does it have an Easter special?

Jon: The movies are rather shoddily translated from Russian, so I'm fairly certain the Easter component of that special was invented wholesale in the English version.

Martin: You say that like it answers more questions than it raises.

Jon: Yes, because it does. Oh, and to answer anonymous's question, no, this isn't an ARG. From my understanding of it, if it were, it'd be a poorly constructed one, as there's no real game element to any of this.

Martin: Hmm. Well, sometimes the game component is just trying to figure out what's going on with the story, or if there's any deeper content, and people are definitely doing that with this show.

Jon: That's not by design though. It's more a side effect of us having poor brain to mouth filters, I'd say.

Martin: Harsh, but fair. Oh, this next one is from Zac, no K, who asks, "Are you two actually even married?"

Jon, flat: We are, but it's under false names because this whole thing is an elaborate insurance scam.

Jon, incredulous: Yes, obviously, we're married. What did you hear in this podcast that would make you wonder otherwise, and how do we rectify it?

Martin: Clearly we need to up our quota for how "disgustingly in love" and "horrifically sappy" we are per episode. Which segues nicely into the next question from Gwen, "What's your favourite wonderful thing you've brought so far?" My answer: my husband. He's kind of my favourite in most things, you know?

Jon: Boooooo

Martin: Why, what's your favourite thing?

[Jon reluctantly sighs]

Jon, indulgent: being married.

Martin: A: serves you right for trying to pretend you're the less horrifically sappy and romantic one even though earlier today someone put a love note in the lunch they packed for me-

Jon:- Lies and slander! I have never, in my life, done that, even once.

Martin: Oh, sure, not even once. And you definitely don't reserve the lilac sticky notes specifically for my lunches because you know I like the colour. 

Jon: I..I don't.. you're rather ruining my image here.

[Martin snorts]

Martin: Can't have the audience think that you are, on occasion, an incredibly doting husband-

Jon: -A title I would argue we both share-

Martin: - which is obviously why, even with it being your favourite thing you've brought, being married to me is just a small wonder-

Jon, audibly rolling his eyes: As I already explained-

[A Pause}

Jon: Actually, you're right-

Martin: Wait-

Jon:- I really should have brought it as a larger wonder-

Martin: Wait-

Jon: though I should warn you, I think I'd have far too much material for just one little segment-

Martin: No no no no no-

Jon:- In fact, I think I might have too much material for just one little episode-

Martin: Joo-oon-

Jon: I might have to do a whole series! Where would I even start? I mean I could talk about how every day I get to watch the early morning sun highlight your curls when I get up first, or hear you quietly humming and shuffling around the kitchen when you do, or I could talk about how the lunch notes only started in the first place as retaliation to the notes you would leave on the mirror for me to find, or how every time I get to see you at ease in a way that you aren't with anyone else, it takes my breath away, or I could talk about how cute I find the lines between your eyebrows that you only get when you're thinking something petty, but you know it's petty so you don't want to say anything-

Martin: Okay, okay, Christ, I give !up I surrender, and will cease my teasing on this particular topic.

Jon, probably making the :3 face: You don't have to stop. I mean, I could also discuss how very, very attractive I find your voice when it takes on a teasi-mmph!

[There's a pleased hum, then a pause.]

[The audio quality is slightly changed, as if the recording has been stopped and then started later]

Martin, giddy: Uh, heh, anyway, Eric asked what the least favourite thing we've brought was, and because of Jon's attempt to embarrass me live-

Jon, overlapping: It's definitely not live-

Martin:- on air, I'm gonna say it's my husband.

[Jon scoffs]

Jon : If the past few minutes are any sort of indication, I'm going to go ahead and saying that you are lying.

Martin, sighing contentedly: Maybe a bit, but how was I supposed to resist when your indigance gives you that adorable little nose scrunch? In reality, my least favourite thing was probably, um, mini golf? Which, I still don't think is inherently bad, definitely superior to regular golf, but when it's the only thing a next door two year old wants to do with you, the charm begins to wear off a bit.

Jon: Wow. A rather scathing review of a toddler.

Martin: Not so much a scathing review of a toddler as it's a scathing review of minigolf's inability to keep its appeal after the third time in the same week.

Jon: Mmm, the sound effects rather quickly go from part of the atmosphere to part of the irritation, don't they?

Martin: So what's your least favorite thing we've covered here?

Jon: Oh, love, I'm not going to pretend to have nearly enough memory of what we've covered so far to have a least favorite.

Martin: Really? Nothing that you regret or rescind?

Jon: Well, regret, certainly. It was one of the weeks where you went first, and your second item was mutual aid funds, and what they can do for marginalized communities, and I had to follow it with fucking Slapchop.

Martin, poorly suppressing laughter: In your defence, Slapchop, or whatever offbrand we have, is pretty useful, especially when either your scar or my arthritis is acting up.

Jon: I'm still not convinced you didn't somehow see my notes for the recording and decided you get revenge for the first year that we knew each other.

Martin, no longer suppressing his laughter: Yep, you got me! This marriage wasn't an act of insurance fraud, but it was a near decade long con to humiliate you on a podcast that about twenty people listen to. I'll draft up the divorce papers immediately, and then we can finally go our separate ways. 

Jon: I'm glad you've at last admitted it. Such a weight off of my shoulders. Goodbye forever then.

Martin: Right.

Jon: Right.

[A beat.]

[There's a pfft from one of them, before both dissolve into giggles that lasts a good 30 seconds.]

Martin, slightly out of breath: I can't believe we're the kind of people that talk this much about speciality kitchen gadgets.

Jon: Sorry about that.

Martin: God, don't apologize. I'm, like, deliriously happy with our varying degrees of useful cooking ware filled life. If you had told 25 year old me that one day he'd be debating the merits of getting a tortilla press with his husband, he'd have wept, I tell you.

Jon: Funny, if you told 25 year old me the same thing, he would've said "You don't know the future,piss off" and then quietly have a bit of a panic at 3 am that night.

Martin: I bet you were insufferable in your mid-twenties.

Jon: First of all, who isn't, secondly, I was fresh out of Oxford, and third, I was insufferable in my late twenties, as you can attest to, and I'm insufferable now, as you can further attest to, so extrapolation would indicate that, yes, I was insufferable back then.

Martin: Probably a different kind of insufferable, though.

Jon: There are different kinds?

Martin: Of course! You used to be "prick boss" insufferable and now you're "smug in a way that I can't admit I find hot or it will go straight to your head" insufferable.

Jon, in the aforementioned smug tone: Oh, really?

Martin: See, see! Straight to your head.

Jon: Well straight is probably the wrong descriptor-

Martin: Oof, 4 out of 10 joke, babe.

Jon: That would be a far more convincing rating if you weren't grinning right now.

Martin: It's a genuine review, I'm just well known to be a sucker.

Jon: You and me both, darling.

Martin: Okay, if you're pulling out darling, you're clearly in too giddy of a mood to be focused on recording. Last question, from Jess, "You two mentioned meeting at work, but how did you actually end up together?" That's easy, Jon pulled me out of a hell dimension and then we went on the lam together to Scotland.

Jon: If that's not the way to tell a cute boy you like him, I don't know what is.

Martin: All right, that wraps up this bonus episode, and as the old saying goes, hiding from murderers in a cottage is more conducive to romance than suggesting you gouge out your eyes together.

Jon, cut off: Hey-!

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Okokok here this: april, reader and casey try to prank the boys. How does it go. With who does it fails/success, what was the prank, do they get caught? Do the boys get revenge, and if so, how?

Also, splinter sees it all unfolds, does he just gets himself a snack and watch, or does he tries to subtly join in without getting caught? (We all know hes got a playful side cmon)

Bonus: they try to prank vern too, maybe the boys join in to prank him? What do they do? Does he retaliate?

Okay so I admit I let my brain go nuts on this one, so it's a little long but I was cackling the entire time I was writing it.

TMNT Headcanons

Prank Wars

Leonardo

In your complete and utter defence, Leo had 100% started this

And also in your defence, you did tell him not to

Twice

But he tricked you into watching a horror movie and ended up dying your hair green

This meant war

You'd even wrapped up April and Casey into it

Their problems were your problems

Which meant that April was the one who convinced Splinter not to say anything to his sons

He was perfectly happy to oblige

Casey was just there to help set things up

And you liked the way his mind worked

The objective wasn't to go unnoticed, there would be no point in doing it and having no proof

You were doing this to prove that you could

Leo had emphasized that he couldn't be distracted

That you were to obvious and clumsy to prank him without him noticing

Challenge fucking accepted

And that's how you ended up at the kitchen table eating lunch with April and Casey when the boys were coming back from meditating with Splinter

April kept having to shove food in her mouth to hide her laughter

Casey just decided to wear sunglasses

And you kept overpowering the urge to smirk

"Hey guys, good to see you. Y/n have you seen my katanas?"

With the obstruction of water in your mouth you just nodded at him, pointing to the other room

He sauntered off, none the wiser to your victorious grin

When he came back in only a moment later his expression had done a complete 180

Leo made direct eye contact with you and you held that stare like a wolf cornered in its den

"does someone want to explain why my katanas are encased in blueberry jello?"

You raised your hand like a child in class

"hate to break it to you, but it's actually berry blue you uncultured bitch"

Raphael

Ohhhh you were so undeniably dead

A whole other level of six feet under

It wasn't a surprise that April and Casey had backed out on this one

It also wasn't a surprise that Splinter had offered to stand up for you if things went sideways

Donnie even gave you a sheet of paper with a list of hiding spots before hand

All of this went completely unnoticed by Raph, the target of your latest scheme.

And that was fine, you had only one objective here-

Make it out alive

But it was amazing what 1 person could do with some extra cash and internet access

So that's what led you to your current position.

Cross legged on the bench, watching the large red terrapin get ready for his first set, that in itself wasn't unusual, you always watched him lift just in case you needed to run and grab someone if something went wrong

Raph was none the wiser to your plan

At least that's what you thought

Your book was in your lap and you were calmly scanning your pages, somewhat comprehending the words but keeping a very close eye on the turtle across from you

"Hey y/n?"

You peeked over the edge of your book to meet his eyes

And your heart sank to your stomach

"Yeah Raph?"

He smirked at you, taking a lumbering step forward

"You ever seen that episode of the Office where Jim fills Dwight's phone with nickels so when he takes 'em out Dwight punches himself in the face?"

Shit shit shit shit shit shit-

"Uh... No, can't say that I have, why do you ask?"

That damn smile got even wider and all of your muscles tensed, you were ready to bolt

"I'm giving you a fifteen second headstart. Starting right now."

You flew to your feet and sprinted out of the weight room

"DONNIE WE GOTTA CODE RED!"

Your lungs were ready to burst by the time you made it to your decided hiding spot. Heavy footsteps went right underneath you and you held your breath, you wouldn't dare move.

You didn't come down until hours later when Splinter came and coaxed to you out of hiding

But deep down you knew you'd started something you couldn't finish.

Vern Fenwick

You didn't even have to convince the guys to partake in this

You didn't even get the chance to tell them what you were planning

They were already brainstorming

None of you let a word of it slip to April, she would've shut you down faster than you could blink

A complete buzz kill

But fake blood was relatively cheap and all of Vern's flooring was tile (meaning extremely easy to clean and bleach)

Donnie had really been the mastermind behind the execution, none of you had any idea how he'd rigged the apartment plumbing

But he'd assured you it would only affect Vern's suite and no one else's so you didn't concern yourself with it further

And after the fact you had to wonder what exactly the former cameraman was planning on the date he'd been in the middle of

All you knew was that you got a very frantic call from the falcon himself yelling about blood coming out of his tap and the sink wouldn't shut off and it was everywhere and what the fuck was happening?

You all knew that Splinter thought it was hilarious, he'd never been particularly fond of Vern

But he did make his sons assist in the clean up and bleaching of the victims apartment floor

You went too and offered moral support

Vern had hit on you one too many times, so there was no way you'd feel bad about this

Michaelangelo

As far as pranking went, you and Mikey were partners in crime

He always had great ideas and you always came up with the best ways to execute those ideas without getting caught

But when you separated those two chaos was guaranteed

You weren't entirely sure how you had been pitted against each other but you weren't entirely mad about it

You couldn't say the same for anyone else though, the others had been on edge all week.

Pranking Mikey was a challenge, he knew how you worked and vice versa

You'd been brainstorming with April for weeks now, maybe a new perspective would help

That's what the two of you told yourselves anyways

Much to your dismay, Mikey and Casey had been plotting against you as well, the traitor.

And perhaps even more unfortunate was the fact that both of your pranks somehow overlapped and backfired on the rest of the family

Because Mikey and Casey may have replaced the family tea set with a edible sugar replica that looked identical to the original

So that when you were asked to make tea for Splinter and Leo it would dissolve the second you poured the hot tea

But they didn't tell anyone else so Leo was left with an impromptu anxiety attack when he made his own tea before sitting down to meditate and it melted into sugary leaf water

And you and April had planned the 'cutting off your finger in the kitchen' with the knife, fake finger, and fake blood

Which in theory should've worked because Mikey was in the kitchen the most, that was his territory

However once you'd started your plan you couldn't stop it

so when you 'cut your finger off' and screamed for Mikey you didn't have time to yell "wait it's a prank!" before Donnie caught a glimpse of the scene and fainted

In your defence you didn't know the purple turtle could move that fast

And to Mikey's relief he was going to throw that cutting board out anyways

Splinter explicitly banned the two of you from pranking each other after that incident

Donatello

Per your own common sense you had come to the conclusion that pranking the families resident genius was a horribly stupid idea

So for once, you'd practiced some self control and refrained from any pranks involving Donnie

Now that's not to say that the turtle vowed from aiming any pranks towards you

He had morals but messing with you walked the line separating adorable from batshit crazy

And he was all for it

April advised against it severely and even Splinter seemed to think it wasn't the best idea, but that was a lesson his son had to learn on his own

On the flip side, the second Casey heard about Donnie's plan he was all for it

So when you came over for dinner they both had to hide their excited smiles as Casey passed you your spaghetti

He knew it was your favorite

Everyone else was oblivious, which looking back on it was a very bad thing

April had her suspicions that Donnie was pulling something this evening, but she couldn't put her finger on it

That wasn't until you swirled a mouthful of noodles around your fork and shoved it into your mouth, you were starving

Here lies your predicament-

You swallowed thickly and blinked like you were in pain, your hand went to your throat and you reached for your water, ending up chugging almost the entire bottle.

Your eyes met Donnie's in a serious type of concern

"Is there hot sauce in this?"

April choked on her breadstick and quickly covered her mouth

Casey hadn't picked up on it yet

"Awh yeah- how'd you figure it out so quickly?"

You erupted in a coughing fit that sent April rushing to your side before you could tumble to the floor

"You fucking assholes! Y/N has a capsaicin allergy! Casey go start the car we need to get them to the hospital!"

On the bright side you were fine after you were rushed to the ER

But you didn't speak to Donnie or Casey for two weeks following the accident

You eventually forgave them for it and they haven't targeted you since

Sorry if it got a little dark at the end, but I felt like it was more realistic. Also that has actually happened to me but it was a nut allergy (and that's how I found out I was allergic to cashews) But I feel like the ending was a good example of how pranking someone can go horribly wrong, you should always consider the possibilities before doing something that could cause harm to a person. (Unless they really really deserve it)

I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you guys like it as much as I do! 😁🧡👍

-Mars 🌠

[hangovercurse]

Loveless

Rook realizes he made a major mistake, but is it too late to win you back?

Rook Cappelletty x reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: I wrote this while listening to Loveless by PVRIS

Word Count: 2439

You and Rook had been all over each other all night, as per usual. Ever since you’d met a few months ago, you had been attached at the hip. You couldn’t call what you were doing a relationship, because you’d never really talked about it, you were just kind of hooking up… exclusively. And making out at parties, and clubs, and anywhere else where you ended up together. Rook wasn’t exactly the settle down type, and everyone knew it, which was why everyone was shocked when he asked you to join the last leg of their tour with Young Thug.

You didn’t know what to make of it at the time, but you went with it, spending 2 weeks traveling with the crew and spending almost every waking second with Rook. It was a nice fairytale to live in for a little while, and you could almost convince yourself that maybe he harbored the same feelings for you that you felt for him.

You guys were out at a club in LA, celebrating the final show of the tour. Rook had his hands and lips on you almost all night, and you were loving every second of it. “Babe, I gotta pee.” You mumbled as his lips pressed sloppy kisses down your neck. He groaned, continuing his path. “I’ll only be gone for like 2 minutes.”

“Fine.” He stood back up, letting you go, “But hurry up, I’m gonna miss you.” You rolled your eyes, turning to walk towards the hallway when he grabbed your hand and spun you around. His lips moved against yours in a very hot kiss.

You smiled against his lips, reaching your hands to his chest, and gently pushing him away. “I’ll be right back.”

The line ended up being longer than you expected, though you shouldn’t have been surprised. 10 minutes after you left him, you returned to where your date had been standing, only to find him missing. You searched the room, only to find no sign of him anywhere. You did, however, spot the 6’4” lanky giant that was his best friend, so you made your way through the club to him. “Kells, have you seen Rook?” You yelled over the music.

Colson shrugged, looking over the crowd for the brown-haired boy. You saw his eyebrows furrow in confusion and he looked down at you. “It might be better if I tell you I didn’t see him.” Colson shouted back to you.

“What does that mean?” You asked, looking behind you and standing on your tiptoes. Your question was answered when you saw his tongue shoved down another girl’s throat. Suddenly your good mood faded, and your throat went dry. You fought the sting behind your eyes and sighed, turning back to Colson. “Never mind.”

He looked at you with pity in his eyes, “Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

You shrugged, “It’s whatever. I mean it’s not like we’re together.” You tried to hide the fact that you were dying inside.

“Right…” Colson trailed off, obviously not believing you.

“I’m gonna get going, I’ll see you later.” He nodded, pity still in his eyes. You squeezed through the crowd of people and finally got out the door. You ordered an uber while you leaned against the building, taking deep breaths to calm your racing heart. You couldn’t get the image of him with another girl out of your head. You felt so utterly stupid.

  The next day you were laying on your couch, watching old TV shows on Netflix and trying to ignore the clawing in your heart. A knock on your door pulled you away from the TV, and you paused the episode. You weren’t expecting JP Cappelletty to be standing at your door, a smile on his face. “I’m bored.”

You tried your best not to scoff and roll your eyes, but the annoyance on your face was obvious. “I’m busy.”

His eyebrows furrowed, arm reaching to grab your waist. “What’s wrong, babe?”

You pushed his arm off of you, moving away from him. “Nothing. Don’t call me babe.” Your hand grabbed the edge of the door. “Look, J, I’m really busy right now.”

“Yeah, really looks like it.” He said, sarcastically, as he looked past you to see the TV. “Y/N what’s up?”

You let out an annoyed sigh as he took another step closer to you. “Why are you here?”

You saw the confusion in his eyes, “because I wanna hang out with you. We haven’t really gotten to be alone in like 2 months, we were on the tour bus whenever you were with us.” His hands reached to grab yours, but you pulled them towards your stomach and out of his reach.

You rolled your eyes, “we could’ve been alone last night but you were busy.” There was definitely venom in your voice, but Rook didn’t seem to understand why.

“Yeah, but I’m not busy right now.” He smiled, and you scoffed in disgust. “What?” He asked as if he couldn’t grasp why you were upset.

“Are you serious right now?” You asked, studying him as he shrugged. “Okay, JP. I need to know what I am to you, because I thought we were one thing but apparently I’ve got it all wrong.”

You really didn’t understand his confusion at the question, “We’re friends? I don’t know. I like messing around with you, I guess.”

You bit your tongue to hide the pained expression on your face. “God I’m such a fucking idiot.” You mumbled under your breath, walking away from him.

“Y/N, come on? You didn’t think this was a serious thing, did you?” He asked, as if you were the one in the wrong.

You turned to look at him, glaring at him. “You think I wouldn’t think this was serious? You brought me on tour for fuck’s sake, Rook! You don’t invite the person you’re screwing around with on tour if you’re not at least a little serious about it.”

“Y/N its really not that big of a deal.” His face was emotionless, and you were convinced that he had no emotions.

“Maybe not for you, Rook, but it was everything for me.” You were trying really hard not to cry.

He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head at your pathetic image. “You know I’m not like that, I don’t do the whole commitment thing.”

“Yeah, clearly.” You ran a hand through your hair. “Just get out.”

“What? Why?”

“Because, you asshole, I fell in love with you and you couldn’t give two shits. I’m done. Go fuck around with someone else.” You pushed him towards the door, tears starting to fall down your face. You felt utterly humiliated.

Rook stood in the doorway, studying you. “What did you think was gonna happen? You’d change me? I was gonna just magically fall in love with you? You’re smarter than that.”

You glared at him, watching as he walked away, closing the door behind him.

 A month and a half later you found yourself at a house party thrown by none other than Machine Gun Kelly himself. Even though you hadn’t spoken to Rook, Colson had checked in on you every so often, making sure you were okay.

And you were, surprisingly. You realized that it was probably for the best that you had cut ties with Rook, even if it hurt. You could finally move on with your life and find someone who actually wanted you and only you. It’s a lot easier said than done.

But when Kells invites you to a party, you can’t exactly turn him down. So, there you were, standing in his living room with a drink in your hand talking to a guy you’d just met. He seemed pretty cool, and he wasn’t Rook, so you figured you’d see where it went.

It was going nowhere, but once you felt Rook’s eyes on you, you faked interest in the man, if only to get his attention off of you. You were an hour deep into a conversation at this point, and your glass was empty. “I’m gonna go get a drink.” It was almost like he read your mind. “I’ll grab you another, if you want.”

You nodded, “thanks.” He made his way to the bar, leaving you alone in the middle of the crowded room. Not 3 seconds after he left was he replaced with your ex-fling.

“Y/N, I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” He looked you up and down, taking in every detail of your all too familiar body.

You flashed him an uncomfortable smile, “yeah, Kells invited me.”

“Who’s the guy?” He asked and you rolled your eyes.

“No offense, Rook, but fuck off.” You sighed.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “It was an innocent question, fuck.” You let out a dry, angry, laugh. “Seriously, I was just asking.”

“It’s none of your business anymore.” You really wished you had a drink in your hand right now.

Rook’s face fell, and you almost dropped your cold façade. “I know, I just. I miss you.”

And it came back up again. “You don’t get to miss me. You never wanted me in the first place.” A few weeks ago, you could never had said everything you’d been thinking since that day, but now you realized just how fucked up what he had done was.

“That’s not true.” He muttered, a serious expression on his face.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “Look, it was fun, but I’m over it, I’m over you. You could never give me what I need, anyways.”

You started to turn to walk towards the bar, wanting your drink, but he grabbed your wrist softly. “I did want you. I do want you. I didn’t realize it then because I’m an idiot, but I think I love you.”

You shook your wrist out of his grasp, blowing a quick breath out of your nose. “No, you don’t. Rook, you don’t know how to love.”

“I can learn, I will learn. For you. I’m gonna be better, I swear.”

“You don’t have the capacity to love anyone but yourself. You’re a loveless person.”

Satisfied with that, you turned and left him standing there, gazing after you with a lost look in his eyes.

 You realized as soon as you walked away that you didn’t really mean what you said. Truthfully, you were still hurting, and seeing him made it worse. But you couldn’t apologize. You needed him to think you really felt that way, so he wouldn’t chase after you.

That plan didn’t work, which was apparent when JP showed up at your door, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a butterfly squishmallow.

“I know I majorly fucked things up with you and you have every right to never want to see me again. But I’m not giving up on you. You are the only girl I’ve ever felt this way about. Like, seriously, you make me wanna settle down and be a better person, and I realized last night that I might never feel this again.” He had a whole speech and everything, and you could tell he put a lot of thought into this.

“Come in,” you whispered, leading him inside your house. You pulled out a vase to set the flowers in, placing them in the center of your small living room. You then grabbed his hand and pulled him to sit on your couch, the stuffed animal still in his arms.

“Y/N, I really meant it when I said I’m in love with you.” His voice was soft and he could barely meet your eyes. He was really nervous.

You bit your bottom lip, smiling. “You really planned this out, huh?”

He chuckled, looking down at the small butterfly in his hand and then placing it in your lap. “Yeah. I heard you and Ashleigh talking about these things a while ago. Kinda have had it for a while, but I was scared you would think it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, it’s sweet.” You tilted your head, admiring him.

“You would not believe the stares I got when I was buying this. It was like no one had ever seen a guy with tattoos buying a stuffed animal before.” He chuckled, finally looking up to meet your eyes. “But it was worth it.”

You blushed, you two were quiet for a moment as you tried to sort out your thoughts. “I was really hurt.” You whispered, “when you said that we weren’t serious. And it’s not your fault, I just misread things, but I couldn’t be around you after that.”

He nodded, “It is my fault, though. You were right, people don’t bring other people on tour if they’re not serious about them. I led you on, and you had every right to kick me out.” You let out a soft sigh, relieved he was admitting some responsibility. “But I realized that I was so much better when I was around you, once I couldn’t be around you anymore.”

“I just wish it didn’t take me kicking you out for you to realize that.” You looked down at the blue plushie in your hands.

He was quiet for a while, studying you. “You can flip it inside out and it becomes a different animal.”

You chuckled, “yeah, it becomes an axolotl.”

He nodded, a smile on his face. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

His statement brought a blush to your cheeks. “Shut up.” You giggled, reaching up to push his chest lightly. He grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers.

“I’m serious. You’re literally perfect.” He pulled you closer to him, leaning towards you so your faces were inches apart. “I never thought I would feel this way about anyone, but I am really, really in love with you.”

You took in a small breath at his words, processing them before you leaned closer to him, closing the gap between you. His lips moved effortlessly against yours, the hand not holding yours reaching up to lightly touch your jaw. When you finally pulled away, you rested your nose against his. “I’m really, really in love with you, too.” You whispered, a smile on your face.

He leaned forward to capture your lips in his again, both of you smiling into each other. “Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean you’re done making this up to me.” You giggled.

“No? And what else could I do to make this better, princess?” He whispered; sarcasm laced in his voice.

“I could think of a few things…” You trailed off, a giggle leaving your lips.

[laceymorganwrites]

Shallow love

Word count: 2,128

Pairing: Nacht x reader

Warnings: SPOILER ALERT, swearing, teeny bit of gore, insecurities, I probaby butchered his character >.< I´m so sorry, baby

A/N: NACHT APPEARS IN TODAY´S EPISODE SO OMG I HAD TO POST THIS!!!!

okay so

Nacht is my second favorite Black Clover character and yes, I am currently: freaking out. also he has Dabi´s VA so: perfection. 

I will definitely post more about him in the future! I just wanted to get this out today since it just fit so well <333 I´ll be back to regular posting in April

You didn´t think that you would ever be able to feel peace again and go back to your normal life after the attack of the Diamond kingdom.

And yet here you were, in the calm after the storm.

It was weird. Everything was in chaos, the villages and overall buildings were even more destroyed than when the eye of the midnight sun attacked.

Everything was as per usual at the Black Bull´s base, nothing out of the ordinary except for Yami forcing Nacht to stay now.

You´ve known him for a long time now, being the first member of the squad, and you never could read him. He always intrigued you.

And yet he also always made you distance yourself from him.

Nacht was the type of guy who was too blunt for his own good. You appreciated honesty, but he just always made it hurt.

You knew full well that you weren´t an innocent little lamb, but who was?

What irked you most about him was how badly he thought and spoke about his own squad, to this day you asked yourself why he even joined in the first place, he could´ve just as easily denied Yami´s order.

Sure, Yami could be persistent, but that wouldn´t stop someone like Nacht.

There had to be more to the two of them but over the years you learned that you just didn´t want to know.

Every time you approached Nacht about it he just shut you off and reminded you of all your flaws again.

Like he always did. With everyone.

Except for Asta, like everyone, he took a liking to the little guy.

Though, you had to admit Nacht seemed more open and approachable after the war. And yet you didn´t.

Instead you watched him at first reluctantly, over time without any hesitation, becoming rather friendly, talking to the rest of the squad.

In all those years you have known him you always asked yourself whether you really did. You highly doubted it.

You just couldn´t figure him out. Did he just wear a mask? Were all of his infuriating smiles for show? Was it all a game to him? What were his goals?

And why…

No. You didn´t want to think about that.

What was the point anyway? Anyone got a crush at some point, the only difference was that crushes usually didn´t last this long.

Especially if said person didn´t pay you any mind unless they were insulting you.

Nacht mostly stayed to himself, making it known he didn´t want anything to do with the rest of the squad.

Though like anyone else who stayed with them for a long amount of time, he warmed up to everyone. Still, he had his moments and didn´t exactly change his opinion. Because in his world people couldn´t change, they just didn´t.

And that made you sad.

Because deep down you just wanted him to acknowledge you, to tell you that you weren´t as bad as he thought, that you were a good person.

But at one point being around him just hurt. You cared too much, thought too much about him, it kept you awake at night.

If only you went out of your room into the kitchen where he would stay because of the same problem.

Especially since that day…

You were surrounded. Everywhere you looked you saw black, greedy eyes. The devils were everywhere and all hope seemed lost. You couldn´t rely on Asta only anymore, he already went through enough. He shouldn´t fight your battles for you just because he had strong powers, he was just a little boy.

And yet there he was, fighting ferociously, once again defeating the devil that came to slay everyone that day all those centuries ago.

It was hard to keep at least somewhat of an overview, everything seemed in shambles and the screams and cries of everyone were deafening.

You really shouldn´t be focusing on Nacht right now, now was not the time. Not that there ever was an appropriate time for that anyway.

But of course you just couldn´t help yourself, your eyes wandered to him frequently even as you told them to stop.

Though in this instance it might have not been that bad. Your eyes went wide as you realized what he was about to do, everything around you faded away, you felt numb and your body moved on its own to prevent him from going through with his plan.

“Please die with me” were the last things that left his lips that shut your brain off and made you move automatically. They weren´t uttered to you, Nacht didn´t even look in your direction, it was none of your business.

Even still you couldn´t just stand by idly and watch him die, watch one of the only chances you had at winning die, watch the man you hated to love die.

The little devil on his shoulder looked scared as your gaze met him and honestly, you could understand it all too well.

You were scared too but now wasn´t a time for fear, you needed to stop him at all costs.

“That´s the stupidest thing you ever said!” you screamed out as you were still running towards him.

Finally his head turned to you, he still had that infuriating smile on his lips, though it was so sad this time.

“It´s the only way…” he replied.

“You don´t know that! You can´t know that! You can´t just throw you life away like that, it won´t change anything! In fact it will… we will lose. We will lose so much more than just the fight, don´t you understand that? You´re not more or less important than the rest of us and you´re our vice captain, so it´s my duty to stop you from sacrificing yourself!” you said, grabbing his shoulders and frantically panting, you looked at him aghast, shocked, eyes wide and searching for something...anything in his eyes that wasn´t dull.

“Then we´re all going to die, but it´s so typical of you to be so selfish” he told you, his tone as entitled as always.

“You´re selfish too, you know that?” you whispered, averting your eyes.

“You can´t just run away from your responsibilities. It isn´t right” you stood your ground, balling your fists in anger and frustration.

“It´s the only way, why do you even try to stop me?” he sighed, looking at you. He was feeling quite frustrated now too, what were you trying to achieve? If he didn´t make this sacrifice so many more people would die, didn´t you care about them? Wasn´t it your job to protect everyone? So why were you trying to desperately to save him out of all people?

“Because I care. A lot. We all do. And yes it´s selfish, you´re right about that. We´re all selfish losers and assholes but you know what? We do it best and we´re goddamn proud not to be as picture perfect as all the others. That´s what defines us. And you don´t have to agree with that, but I´m fucking stubborn so don´t think for even a second that I´ll let you go through with your stupid plan!” you looked at him with such emotion, such passion, it made his heart ache with a foreign familiarity.

Nacht never paid you any more mind than he did the others, just thinking all of you were useless. That was why he was so surprised that someone would voluntarily want to save him.

He treated you like shit, sure it was more out of a defense mechanism cause he couldn´t bear leaving people behind, having people worry about him, he already had enough guilt to carry.

But hearing your words was like a revelation to him.

Maybe he still had a role to play in life, maybe his story wasn´t over yet and just maybe could he live his life without having to fulfill anything, but solely for himself and the ones he cared about.

Maybe it was finally time to start caring more than he was ready to admit, to take a step into the unknown and discover it with…

You.

It had always been you, he realized as he saw your desperate face, your hands on his shoulders, all dirty from fighting and yet feeling warmer than any fire ever could.

“Yes, maybe living might not be that bad” he tilted his head, smiling at you.

You felt an intense amount of relief wash over you as you gave him an exhausted smile back.

That was the first time you ever smiled at him, Nacht would never forget that moment, the moment in which you broke down his walls without even knowing it.

He would have to thank you later for that, when he fully comprehended what that meant.

Asta and you were training together again outside while the others were inside going on about their daily ruckus. Some were on missions already but some, like Asta, who were wounded and exhausted still needed to rest properly.

Though it was no use. Asta would never rest like he should unless he was knocked out.

And you tried that the first week, you each took turns but eventually you just couldn´t keep up anymore and let him train like he wanted.

Nacht also kept training with him, though he himself was new to everything going on and needed time to properly accommodate to things.

You stretched a bit, sitting down to just enjoy the sun for a moment.

“I can´t wait to go on missions again! I´m as good as new, I´m ready, I promise!” Asta beamed and showed off a bit but you only sighed.

“It´s not my call, kid” you apologized.

Asta pouted and kept training.

“You got a mission” Yami announced as he joined you outside and Asta practically jumped up and down with excitement and energy.

“Just the usual, rebuilding a town and fighting some magic beasts that escaped” he explained and Nacht slowly appeared behind him.

Asta´s eyes were beaming right now, he was excited to learn even more about the devil´s powers although he got quite the hang of it and even made a new friend.

Nacht smiled and waved at you, you just looked away as always and stood up to go back inside.

Nothing had changed anyway.

Until Yami stopped you in your tracks.

“If you get going now you´re gonna return by nightfall” he said and you nodded.

Asta sighed in frustration.

“I wanna go on a mission too!” he cried out.

“Not happening” all three of you said at the same time, shutting him up for a bit.

Both you and Nacht didn´t say anything as you made your way to the town in question.

Nacht because he didn´t know how to approach you and you because you thought there was no point in it, he wouldn´t think of you any differently.

And so you started your mission, once again fighting alongside each other and even though the task was dull Nacht´s presence gave you an energy that was unmatched, you just couldn´t help but smile.

When you were done you went deeper into the town to help the people rebuild it.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me?” he said out of the blue, making you turn around in confusion.

“Why would I go on a date with a guy who hates my guts?” you asked, making him sigh sadly.

“I´m sorry if I left that impression on you. I really don´t hate you… it´s quite the opposite actually” he explained.

“Did you just… I swear I never heard you apologize in all those years I´ve known you” you chuckled, not quite processing the second half of his statement.

“I never saw the point in it. All my life I always watched from afar, I always wanted to save people but you know, I´m just operating in the shadows. I´m good at spying and gaining information, saving people. Not so much making friends with them. I never saw it as my role. After all I lived my life for the kingdom and its people and not for myself. Why would I care if anyone liked me? In fact it would be the worst thing that could happen… death was always part of the job description and I was always willing to take that risk if it meant you could live longer. But now… ever since that day, I just want to live with you” he confessed, leaving you at a loss for words, so you did the only logical thing to you in this moment: hug him tightly.

“Of course I´d like to go on a date with you, Nacht. And I will keep protecting you” you smiled.

[jawabear]

My neurons are firing away! I really loved Don't leave and I saw that you said you'd do sequels, so I have a request for a Don't leave sequel 🥺 Like S3E4, when they go on that mission to catch Gilberto, and they need people they can trust, so y/n joins them, saying/thinking she can do it. But she's with Javi when he finds Gilberto and since he's pointing a gun at them she gets flashbacks from the time she got shot. So she gets through the mission with adrenaline rushing through her body 1/2

(2) Don’t Leave (Javier Pena x Reader)

Not my GIF (but y’all should know how much I love it)

A/N: Hey, here’s a second part to Don’t leave, as requested. Thank you anon! I hope this is good? I think its kind of a mess because I was basically rewriting the episode which was a little difficult. I had to use Spanish but I do not speak the language so it is most likely wrong so I apologise for that. This a little bit of a mess but I hope you can still enjoy it. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay Safe 

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Fem!reader, sexism, soft!Javi, alcohol, mental breakdowns, mentions of death, guns, me thirsting over how good Javi looks in this episode, mentions of medication, crying, confessions, tiny bit of fluff, my terrible comebacks

Summary: To catch a criminal, Javi needs people he can trust, but the person he trusts above all else is the one who he doesn’t want to take 

It had been a couple of weeks since she came back and was settling back in quite well all things considered. Javier made sure to keep an extra eye on her where he could. The smallest sign of struggle and he would be straight to her side to help in any way he could.

It was very sweet of him. It made her heart race. But she felt so much guilt as well. He had practically become her minder and that was an idea she didn’t like. She didn’t want to be a burden to anyone in the DEA, especially not Javier. But that’s what she was. Or felt like at least.

But she carried on as best she could given the circumstances. She didn’t want special treatment and made that quite clear to the Ambassador. She went back to desk duty which wasn’t so bad, it was what she was used to. But as strange as it’s sounds, now she had a taste of field duty, she wanted to get back out there. However, considering what happened last time, that wasn’t one of her brightest ideas.

It was late at the embassy which was pretty much empty. There were a few agents lurking around the building but most of them had gone home already. (Y/N) much preferred the embassy after dark. It was quieter and more manageable, especially with her fragile state of mind. She find it somewhat comforting sitting in her office. It was quiet. But a peaceful quiet. Not the painful and lonely quiet of her apartment, which was why she stayed a lot longer than necessary.

A knocking on her office door disrupted that silence. She lifted her head and saw it was Javi. She smiled to him and motioned for him to come in. He looked a little distressed.

He didn’t say and thing as he made his way into her office, closing the door and sitting in the chair opposite her, putting his head in his hands and letting out a heavy breath.

“Javi?” She said quietly bringing her chair round to sit in front of him. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She copied what he had done when she came back. She put her hands gently on his thighs as comfort to him.

“Shit (Y/N)” he muttered as he lifted his head a little, his posture still slumped over though “we could have him”

“Have who?” She asked.

“Gilberto Rodríguez”

Her eyes went wide with shock “are-are you serious? How?” She asked.

“Feistl just called. They tailed Guillermo Pallomari, the head accountant for the cartel. Lead them straight to Gilberto’s front fucking door”

“That’s...this is big Javi”

“Yeah. I know”

“What are you going to do?”

“We’ve gotta fucking go after him. We’ve got a secure location on him. We have to take it as soon as we can. But..” he paused for a moment “I need people I can trust. But there are fucking few out there” he said in a light laugh.

(Y/N) paused and looked at him. She looked at the way his thumbs rubbed over her hands. She saw the desperation in his eyes. The look of it being his only chance.

“What about me?” She asked quietly.

“What about you?”

“Take me with you”

“No” he said firmly with the sake of his head “no no no. No I’m not putting you through something like that again”

“You can trust me, can’t you?”

“Of course (Y/N). Of course I trust you. I trust you with my life. But I can’t trust myself to protect you from what ever happens. And I can’t...I can’t watch you get hurt again”

“There’s no guarantee I’ll get hurt Javi”

“There’s no guarantee you won’t get hurt” he retorted quickly.

“Javi,” she began quietly “I think, in this instance, catching one of the godfathers of the Calí Cartel is more important that me”

He squeezed her hands and dropped his head “fuck” he whispered “fuck. Alright, fine” he looked at her again “but you do exactly as I say, when I say it. You don’t fuck around. And you don’t get hurt. If something goes wrong, you get yourself out first. Got it?”

“Yes sir” she smiled “who else are you bringing along? If Calderón is working for the cartel, then who knows how many of his me are too. And this doesn’t really seem like a four person job, If we include Feistl and Van Ness”

“Don’t worry about that” he said with a slight smirk. “I’ve got an idea”

-

Javier’s idea was calling in a few favours from some old friends in Bogotá. Colonel Martínez and his most trusted men. Javi explained the plan of diversion to them all hours before the plan would be put init action to catch Gilberto.

“(Y/N), I want you to go with him” Javi said quietly to her.

“What?” She was slightly annoyed by his order. She wanted to stay with Javi.

“You’ll be safe with him”

“N-No, Javi, I want to stay with you”

“(Y/N)” He said sternly. He took a step towards her and rested his hands on her arms, rubbing them softly “Please. Please. Go with Colonel Martínez. You said if I let you come you’d do as I say”

She nodded “okay..” she whispered.

He brought his hands to her cheeks and tilted her head up slightly to meet her gaze “you’ll be okay” he assured her softly. She smiled as gently squeezed his wrists.

“You be careful. Don’t take any unnecessary risks”

“I won’t” he looked at his watch and pulled his hands from her cheeks. ”You better get going” he cleared his throat and glanced to his left to see that Colonel Martínez has been watching that whole ordeal play out. But as per usual, he show now expression on his face.

“Peña is right” he said as he strolled over to them “our window is getting smaller, we should go now”

“Yeah. Yes. Right, okay” (Y/N) nodded “I’ll um...I’ll head to the truck” she said before making her wave over to the chicken loaded truck. Javi watched as she jumped into the back, his heart sinking a little as he wondered if he had made the wrong choice.

“How long has it been?” Martínez asked in his usual stoic voice.

“How long has what been?” Javi asked looking at him.

“Cuanto tiempo llevas enamorado de ella?” (How long have you been in love with her?)

Javi let out a sudden and nervous laugh as he ran his hands through his hair “¿Qué te hace pensar que estoy enamorado de ella?” (What makes you think I’m in love with her?) He asked.

“I know the look of love when I see one Peña. What I saw was love. From both of you” there was a sudden softness to Martinez’s voice. Javi didn’t reply to him because he knew he was right. “Don’t worry” he said patting Javi’s shoulder “I’ll make sure she’s okay”

Javi could only nod before Martínez was walked to the truck and jumping in the back, the two metal doors being closed behind him. He just hoped she would be okay.

-

The ride in the back of the truck was dark, silence, smelly and hot. On a list of things she wanted to do before she died, riding in the back of a chicken truck was not very high up.

Her head rested back against the metal wall as she took in deep breaths. She couldn’t tell if she was nervous or excited. She was just daring to go. But she had to be sensible, smart. She had to be calm. But she was getting anxious. Mainly, she just wanted to be with Javi again.

The truck came to a sudden stop which signalled that they had arrived. (Y/N) lifted her head and her gaze met with Colonel Martínez who was sat opposite her. He gave her a subtle nod which she returned before pulling her pistol out of her vest.

From there, everything seemed to happen so quickly until she found herself in charge of making sure Gilberto’s three wives cooperated but not getting in the way or trying to relay false information. All three women have her looks. But (Y/N) couldn’t blame them. It was strange to see a woman in such a position. A woman in field duty? Laughable if nothing else. But (Y/N) was living proof that a woman was just as good on the field as a man. She was just waiting for her man to hurry up and make it.

Thankfully it wasn’t all that much longer until Colonel Martínez had motioned for her to follow him outside. When she did she saw a Police car pulling up being the Chicken truck with Calderón, Javi, Feistl and Van Ness inside. Her heart jumped a little to see that Javi was okay and that he has made it.

The four of them got out of the car and Javier and Calderón walked towards her and Martinez while Chris and Dan stood by the car.

“Colonel Martinez” Calderón said.

“Capitán” Martinez gave a subtle nod to him. Javi rested a comforting hand on (Y/N)’s arm but said nothing to her, so she said nothing to him. “sabes lo que está sucediendo aquí?” (You know what’s happening here?)

Calderón looked (Y/N) up and down giving her a slightly evil look. Before looking back at Martinez. “sí, creo que sé” (yes, I think I know) he said with a slight nod.

“te estoy dando una oportunidad. para hacer lo correcto y no follar esta opperación” (I’m giving you one chance. To do the right thing and not fuck up this operation)

Calderón looked back towards (Y/N) “si lo que he oído es cierto, no seré yo quien lo joda” (if what I’ve heard is true, I won’t be the one who fucks it up)

(Y/N)’s Spanish wasn’t the best, it was pretty awful all things considered. But she could understand when she was being insulted. That, and the fact she saw sudden anger wash over Javier’s face. But still he said nothing but squeezed her arm.

“This is no job for a woman” Calderón said “especially one who can’t hold her own”

“Maybe. But look who’s being allowed to help and who isn’t” she retorted calmly, which was more than could be said for Javi who was growing more visibly angry by the second.

Calderón back up to the car and Van Ness was quick to grab the keys to insure he wouldn’t drive off.

Martinez looked at Javi “Está aquí. Lo encontraremos” (He’s here. We’ll find him) he said. Javi gave a subtle nod back before dropping his hand from (Y/N)’s arm. Suddenly, it felt cold there. She was over come with the sudden urge to just jump in his arms, but they had something more important to be dealing with right now. “Véalo” (Watch him) he ordered to one of his men before walking back into the house.

“You still got your kids drawing?” Javi asked Chris as they all followed behind.

-

(Y/N) followed behind Javi up the stairs, trying not to get too distracted by how good he looked. Now was not the time.

They made their way into what appeared to be some sort of bathroom. No doubt one of many that was located in the grand house, but it was a bigger bathroom than she had ever seen. Off on the far wall were two extra room. They took one each, kicking open the door and holing their gun to as the search it. Both came up empty.

Javi gave her a look before looking back around the room, the same as her. He walked over to the large jacuzzi looking bath and walked up the wooden steps.

They both froze in place when an all too loud creak came from under his foot. He shifted his weight once, twice, to make sure he wasn’t hearing things. He wasn’t. There was definitely something not right about it.

He carefully and quietly step back down to the floor and gave her another look. She adjusted her stance and moved a little closer to him. She held her gun up to the steps as he bent down. He slid his hand over the bottom step. He reached down further and she swallowed thickly. Javi gave her another look and she gave him and nod.

The steps flew up and the two agents both too a step back.

There was Gilberto Rodríguez. His gun pointing directly at them.

(Y/N)’s heart began to race. Partly from adrenaline that was still flowing through her, but partly from fear. Seeing the gun pointing their way made her mind flash with images from that day. Only this time, it was worse. All she could see was a bullet going straight through Javi, and this time she wouldn’t be able to save him. She wouldn’t be able to jump in front of him. Instead she would be left to watch him die. Watch the blood flow from him.

She blinked her eyes quickly to try and wipe away the images but her hands were becoming shaky. She couldn’t stand there for much longer, not with a gun in her face. “suelta el arma” (drop your weapon) Javi said, surprisingly calmly.

Trujillo appeared on the other side of Javi to (Y/N) with his gun raised as well “suelta el arma” he repeated the same as Javi, in a less calm tone.

Gilberto hesitated for a moment before he slowly lowered his gun and dropped it to the floor in front of him “No dispares. Soy un hombre de paz” (don’t shoot. I am a man of peace) he said as he held his hands up in surrender. He grabbed the steps in his hands and shakily pulled him self out of his hideout. Javi grabbed his shoulders and pulled him out quicker, holding his gun to the back of Gilberto’s neck.

It was then that Martinez appeared holding his gun out but almost dropping it when he saw the Cartel Godfather at gun point. “Vamos” he said. Javi nodded and traded Gilberto off to him when he noticed that (Y/N) wasn’t moving.

“(Y/N)” Javi said quietly as he placed his hand back warmly on her arm, Trujillo and Martinez taking Gilberto away. She jumped slightly at his touch and looked at him “you okay?” He asked softly.

She blinked, swallowed and nodded. “Yeah” she said “yeah. I’m...I’m fine. Just...let’s get out of here” she said before walking past him, he followed closely behind her all the way down stairs.

The living room was almost full of Police. Gilberto was sat on the sofa whilst his three wives looked upon him with sadness, confusing and everything else along that line.

It was now only a matter of time before they would listed as heroes. They had taken down one of the Godfathers of Calí. That was no easy feat. But they weren’t in the clear just yet.

-

After managing to get Gilberto back to Bogotá and handing him off to the authorities, (Y/N) and Javier found themselves back at the embassy. (Y/N) had been quiet ever since they got on the plane to come back to Bogotá. It was obvious to Javi, and obvious to her, that the mission had effected her. She hadn’t said a said a single word to him for a few hours now and it just felt strange.

She went ahead of him when they got to the embassy and headed straight to the ambassadors office. Walking through the main office to get there, she was greeted with a round of applause for her work with Javi in arresting Gilberto. She gave them all a polite smile but walked quickly out of the office space, ignoring all the congratulations she was getting.

(Y/N) knocked on the door of Crosby’s office and she heard a “Come in” from inside so she opened the door and walked in. “(Y/N)” he greeted her, sounding a little surprised as he sat at the table on the right side of the office.

“Ambassador” she greeted back.

“I was expecting Peña to walk through the door” he motioned for her to take the seat opposite him and she did.

“Ambassador,” She said “I’m going to be frank with you. I can’t keep this up for much longer. I thought I would be okay, but being out there today...”

“Is this your way of telling me you resign?”

“No. No. Not resign. Just...I know I’ve already had so much time off for my injury but...I don’t know, I just need to not be in this. I need to just...need some time...”

“How much time?”

“I...I don’t know”

“Well (Y/N), let me be frank with you. What you and agent Peña did today was an impressive feat but comes with a lot of complications now for both the Colombian and American government. But I will congratulate you for your achievement. And, in all honesty, regardless of how it played out, I was going to sign you off anyway. Off work. If not just to get you back to how you were, then to get Peña to stop brining it up in every meeting we have”

“Sir?” She asked, a little confused at what he meant.

“He’s been hounding me to sign you off since you came back. Every meeting we have it’s the first and last thing he says. Keeps telling me that you need more time, and that you’re not in the right state of mind to work efficiently”

(Y/N) didn’t really know how to feel at that. It was sweet that Javi would do that in her behalf, but it was now properly evident to her that she hadn’t hidden her struggles as well as she originally thought.

“Four week” he said “I’ll give you four weeks. I don’t want to see you anywhere near this embassy building within that time”

“Yes sir” she nodded “thank you sir” she stood and reached her hand over to him, he shook it and she left for the door.

Just as she was leaving his office, Javi appeared and gave her a soft look “(Y/N)” he said quietly “what are you doing?”

“I um...asked Crosby for some time off. He’s given me four weeks” she mumbled.

“Good. You need it” he said to her.

“I...I better let you go in there”

“Yeah” Javi laughed slightly “no doubt I’m in for a fucking talk when I get in there”

She managed a smiled and nodded “I better go. I’ll see you later Javi” she said before walking past him towards her own office.

-

Javi let out a heavy sigh as he walked up the stairs towards her apartment that was just a few floors about his. Having to address the Colombian nation about the successful DEA operation of capturing Gilberto Rodríguez had taken it out of him. He needed to be with someone who he could relax with. He needed to be with (Y/N). He stood outside her door and knocked three times.

Then he waited.

He waited.

He waited too long. He knocked again. Still there was nothing. He pressed his ear against the door and could hear nothing from inside. This made him worry. It was unlike her to keep him waiting for so long. He tried the door handle but the door was locked. This worried him even more. Luckily he had a spare key in his back pocket that he carried with him everywhere. He pulled it out and pushed it into the lock before turning it and getting the door open.

The inside of her apartment was definitely not what he was use to.

It was a mess. Papers were thrown everywhere. In the kitchen, on the table were painkillers and other tablets scattered across the wooden surface. A half drunk glass of whiskey to go with them. She didn’t drink. The whiskey was technically his. She brought it for him so that he would have something to drink whilst he visited. But she hated alcohol.

He walked through her apartment looking for her and came to a sharp stop when he heard the sound of running water. He looked in the direction of the bathroom and saw the door was cracked open slightly. He took cautious steps towards it and pressed his hand flat against the door before slowly pushing it open.

There she sat on the shower floor. Fully clothed. The water drenching her completely. She hugged her knees close to her chest as she stared at the floor shaking. Whether she was shaking from fear or the water perhaps being cold, he didn’t know. But to see her like that broke him.

Javi walked into the bathroom, pulling off his jacket, shoes and socks as he did before he stepped into the shower and sunk down to the floor beside her, his back to the wall and his knees bent, his arms resting loosely on them. She immediately found comfort in him. Leaning her head onto his arm and bringing her hand up to grab at his bicep. “I-I thought I could do it” She stuttered quickly, quietly, her fingers flexing around his arm, trying to find the right place to hold, but it seemed she couldn’t. “I-I though I could...” she didn’t finish the second time. She couldn’t finish. The more she spoke, the more images of horror flooded her mind pushing her closer and closer to the point of crying.

She didn’t actually know if she was crying. She had been. But now she couldn’t tell it was tears or the water falling down her cheeks.

Javi didn’t say anything to her. He loosened his tie from around his neck and placed it beside him on the shower floor. He reached under his arm and grabbed her free trembling hand and pulled it through the gap and held it tightly in his hand. He brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a few soft and loving kisses to her knuckles. They were slow, lingering kisses. Each one lasting longer than the last.

His head then gently fell against hers, his cheek resting against the top of her wet hair. He turned so that it was his nose resting against her head. Breathing in what was left of her sweet scent, which wasn’t a lot, most of it had been washed away by the water and he no longer had her smell to comfort him. But in that moment, he didn’t much care. She was more important. She needed his comfort. He pressed a gentle kiss to where ever it was his lips were placed before slightly lifting his head from her and moving down

Javier nosed the side of her head, moving it round to her forehead and down her face, rubbing it against her own nose. She lifted her head slightly and let out a few shaky breaths as he continued the sweet action. The touch was so...absentminded, that she wondered if he meant to do it. But it made her heart swell. It made everything okay.

And then he kissed her.

He didn’t start off with the intention of kissing her, but he sure as hell didn’t regret it. Nothing had ever felt more right than the feeling of her lips against his. He felt right then that that was where he was meant to be. With her. Kissing her. Loving her. Doing what he should’ve done years ago. Doing what he should’ve done when he first realised he was in love with her. Doing what he should’ve done when she needed him most, when she had taken a bullet for him. Not just to help her, but to help him too.

He needed her. He wanted her. He wasn’t ever going to leave her.

She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back, pulling him from his thoughts before she barely pulled away from his lips. His nose still gently rubbing against hers.

“I love you” she whispered.

Her words lifted a great weight off his shoulders. So much so that he let out a breath of relief. “I love you too” he said in the same quiet voice. She laid her head back on his shoulder and he brought his arms round to wrap around her to hold her close. “You’re going to be okay (Y/N). I promise”

08/01/21

Taglist: @linkpk88 @phoenixhalliwell @lunaserenade

[joomma]

Nac Breda Ugly Christmas Sweater

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Dean gets to their motel and Sam’s dressed it all up, even though he spent much of the Nac Breda Ugly Christmas Sweater not wanting to celebrate. They share some jokes for the rest of the episode, clearly trying not to get teary-eyed or reminisce too much about their…well, mostly shitty lives. They share some presents, express some gratitude, drink some eggnog, and watch a game on TV. Smiling and enjoying each other’s company. I love this episode and it goes down as my favorite Christmas story because the writers did not hold back on making it bittersweet as fuck. These two poor sons of bitches have almost nothing at all – they’re sitting in a cheap motel, both their parents are dead, Dean is going to be dragged to Hell for eternity within the year, and the only reason they wake up in the morning to save other people is because they literally cannot do anything else now that they’ve been hunting for so long.

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Ranked: Hannah Montana — Jake Ryan Episodes

Here we are at last: Jake Ryan.  I think you all probably could’ve seen this coming, but I had to keep you waiting (and gather my thoughts a bit).  Of Miley’s canon love interests, Jake (Leslie) Ryan is the one that gets the most screentime overall, and happens to be my personal favorite match for her, so it only makes sense to dedicate a Ranked post to him.  As per usual, I’ll be revealing these rankings from Worst->Best, in reverse-order of how much I liked them.

Which brings us to probably the most unambiguous “Worst” ever:

“The End of the Jake As We Know It” (Season Four)

Yeah.  Of all the episodes on this list, this is the only one I actively dislike.  I don’t think this one was too much of a shock to anyone, but let me talk about why anyway:

This is the first and only time Jake shows up in Season 4.  He’s barely shown in Season 3, which we’ll talk about a little more further down, but he really just seems to appear solely to be dragged through the mud, and then unceremoniously shooed out so Miley can ride off into the sunset with Jesse. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with them breaking up.  I wouldn’t be happy about it, but you could at least give a better reason— you’ve done it before!  Twice!  And there’s a perfectly good reason right there in front of them: they’ve been apart for a while, they liked each other as kids, but now that they’re getting older and growing into separate lives, they’re growing apart.  But no, let’s just have him randomly cheat on her, because that’s totally a satisfying conclusion to a multi-season arc.  Calling one of your most beloved recurring characters a dick for 30 minutes is peak comedy, amirite?

This is also the only time in Season 4 that Oliver is actually an important part of an episode? He shows up for like 5 minutes in the Finale, but really, the Season 4 episode where he has the most screentime is this one.  And while there’s nothing wrong with how Oliver is written here, it just makes a little extra mad, because most of his screentime is focused on this dumbass plot development.  I can’t help but think, They brought back my man for this?! on both counts.

But let’s move on to less loathsome episodes, shall we?

“He Could Be The One” (Season Three)

Okay, I might catch some shit for this.  I know. This episode’s very popular.  I am aware of that.  And I don’t actually hate this episode, like with the other one.  I like the song, I like Miley asserting herself to her dad when it comes to her dating life, Lilly and Oliver are on-point (although that does kind of apply to the last episode too), and I even liked most of the interactions between Miley and Jake.  That said, here’s why I’m ranking it so low:

THE ONLY REASON IT EXISTS IS TO SET MILEY UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Everything from the start of the episode to the weird reframing of Miley and Jake’s complicated past to the focus on Miley bonding with someone else, thinking about that someone else when she’s singing to Jake, talking about how she wants to kiss that someone else so badly except for the inconvenient fact that she’s with Jake, to the episode treating them like equivalent options that are just so hard to decide between despite she and Jesse barely knowing each other and having no history outside this episode… every bit of it is designed to make you like the other guy better and root for the other guy.  

And I guess if you haven’t watched the other episodes, or you have but it’s been awhile and you don’t remember them super-well, it’s easier to root for Jesse (ignoring all the problems that he himself has as a character, in this episode, even, but let’s not focus on that right now).  But this show can’t trick me that easily, sorry not sorry.

I “should” like this episode more, given that this is when they get back together, but they could’ve gotten them together differently.  Instead, we have Lilly berating Miley for going back to her ex after she rejects Jesse, we have Miley… tackling Jake?  Did anyone else find that odd?  Funny, yes, but weird as hell, and not really indicative of their dynamic.  And worst of all, we have them completely rewriting history and hoping we don’t notice.  It’s not respectful to list “we have so much history” as a reason to stay with Jake if you can’t be bothered to portray that history accurately.  So before we delve into that history a bit, let me make one thing abundantly clear:

Jake did not break Miley’s heart.  He’s also not the only one who’s ever fucked up or acted immaturely in their relationship. You wouldn’t know it from watching this, but she’s the one who broke up with him the only time they actually did date.  Yeah, it was kind of crappy of him to make her think he was marrying her friend so he could “Gotcha!” her on TV, and it wasn’t great of him to kiss her and then leave in Season 1, but that’s a far cry away from “breaking her heart.”  He literally never did.  The fact that they framed it that way is not only frustrating, but also some gross foreshadowing for what they ultimately did to his character later on.

That said, the way Jake actually is when he’s onscreen (i.e. when you look at how he actually acts and not just how other people are talking about him) is pretty in-character, funny even.  Miley and Jake still have their chemistry and their interactions are amazing apart from that weird tackling thing, and Jake reacting to the cat sweater was something I didn’t know I needed.  So objections aside, I do like this episode.  Just not as much as what’s to come.

“Jake… Another Little Piece of My Heart” (Season Three)

So while my previous entry was largely dedicated to explaining why it was ranked lower, this entry is going to be a defense of sorts, explaining why this episode, yeah might not be the best, but is a lot better than people remember, or at least is one I’m still very fond of.  

In Jake’s last appearance before this, Miley agreed to be “just friends” with him.  Here, we see them following up on that.  She calls him “one of [her] best friends,” and not only that, she shows that she knows him well enough to know why he, of all people, should not be getting married young.  “You change your phone plans every 6 weeks.”  How does she know this?  Because they kept in contact with each other.  They contact each other frequently enough for her to know that he changes his phone plan all the time.  They kept their promise!  They’re exes, yes, and there’s still tension there as we see in the end, but they genuinely do feel like friends, and not just like they’re awkwardly forcing it.

Miley is understandably pissed when he pranks her, but that’s only because she cares so much, and I do think there’s genuine concern there as a friend, even if she very likely was also jealous.  They’re comfortable around each other, they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better, and the hint that there’s still more lingering between them at the end is both promising and open-ended.  They don’t get back together right then… but they show that they could, because those feelings are still there, despite everything.

I wonder, though, if this episode would’ve worked better had it aired earlier.  We get indications that it was filmed earlier than some of the others, namely that scenes from it show up in the Opening Credits for that season, but for whatever reason, it didn’t air until much later.  I’m not sure why, but I do think things could’ve been better had they reintroduced her relationship with Jake (friendship with some lingering feelings) earlier on, had a few more “regular” episodes without him, and then given the two a proper arc later in the season rather than just one episode where they’re like, “We’re back together now!  But I also kind of like this other guy!  Oh no!” and then he’s not there the rest of the season.  But c’est la vie.  

Now onto the good stuff:

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

Honestly, the way the entire Season 1 arc unfolds with them is so natural and beautifully done, I almost don’t feel like it’s fair to dissect them individually and split them up based on personal favorites, because they work best in order and as a unit. But I still have my opinions.

I’ve expressed previously why I love Dolly Parton’s appearance here and why she kills it, but in terms of Miley’s development with Jake, this one remains the most stagnant and frustrating. Painfully realistic, of course, and very in-character for everyone, but of all the Season 1 Jake episodes, this is the one that has the least Jake in it?  Which is not really why I’m ranking it lower, but it does put their dynamic into generic “girl clearly likes guy but is too proud and scared to admit her feelings” territory.  Which is necessary for their story to develop, but isn’t as fun as the episodes where we actually see why she hasn’t been “falling all over him” up to this point (meaning, her aversion to his personality).  And we pretty much end the episode right where we started: once again, Miley’s pining over him, wants to express her feelings for him, but feels like she can’t… only now she’s got a more solid reason not to.

“More Than A Zombie To Me” (Season One)

I was torn at first between this one and the Dolly one, but I ranked this one higher for a few reasons. For one, the storyline is a bit more complex and nuanced.  Lilly teases Miley for being in denial of her feelings for Jake, Miley rejects him when he asks her out… but then Hannah Montana has to kiss him.  She makes a case for why she shouldn’t have to kiss him… only to realize she wanted to when they actually listen to her.  Jake respects her “no” and asks someone else… only for her to realize she wanted him after all.  Miley fights with Lilly for Jake’s affections… only for her to realize that her friendship with Lilly is more important than whether or not she “gets the guy.”  

Beat for beat, Miley is always one step behind, not because she’s stupid, but because she has too much pride to see what’s right in front of her, to acknowledge her own feelings.  It’s not the most pleasant characterization for Miley, but it is very telling characterization, and it paints an interesting picture of her and her relationships to both Jake and Lilly— that she genuinely wants to mean what she says and say what she means, but her pride makes it harder for her to figure out what she actually wants.  She genuinely wants to be a decent, down-to-earth person, but sometimes she’s too self-centered to realize how she’s coming off and how she might be hurting others.

What’s most interesting here, though, is Lilly’s characterization and development in the Jake arc.  In this episode and the one before it, she’s among the girls who are “falling all over” Jake, even continuing to say “Sup” to him because he said it to her once like it’s their “special thing.”  She alternates between starstruck awe over Jake and amusement over Miley’s aversion to him, teasing Miley that she may be protesting too much, and shamelessly drooling all over him to Miley’s annoyance.  After this episode, we see her being the supportive friend and #1 Shipper On Deck for Jake and Miley… then firmly against Jake and Miley together after they break up the first time, and from that point on, genuinely over Jake and wanting what’s best for her best friend.  

But this episode… this is where we see the switch.  This is where we see Lilly giving Miley a fair shot, then taking Jake for herself when the opportunity presents itself.  This is where we see her doing something for herself for once and going beyond that “best friend” role… only to realize it’s not meant to be. That Jake only ever had eyes for Miley. That she was the canned fruit cup he settled for after all.  It’s painful and heartbreaking, and perhaps a less strong friendship wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but theirs does.  Because Lilly does.  Because Lilly knows that whatever Miley says, being with Jake would make her happy, and Jake wants Miley more than anyone else.  And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to help them be happy together… even if it means she doesn’t get the guy herself.  I think Lilly’s role in all this is so underrated, and she deserves massive credit for the maturity and development she displays here.

And of course, we have more characterization for Jake, where he’s… very much himself, but also better than Miley initially gives him credit for.  Yeah, he’s still hiding behind his ego and bravado, and he does initially say Miley must’ve been nervous to reject him when he asks her out a second time on the beach, but we also see him accepting that she doesn’t like him back (or so he thinks).  We see that he’s sweet to Hannah as a coworker, and then he confides in her that he likes Miley because she’s “cute, funny, smart, down-to-earth,” and because she sees him as a person, not as a superstar. I do think “moving on” from Miley by asking out her best friend, right in front of her, is kind of a dick move (or possibly a jealousy play), and he could’ve made a little more of an effort to be loyal to Lilly as she was his date, rather than being so obvious that he preferred Miley, but overall, I think this is a good episode for developing Jake as someone with hidden depths, and someone Miley could realistically fall for.  

(Also, the subplot is comedy gold from start to finish.)

“People Who Use People” (Season One)

Their first kiss! Yeah, there’s no getting around it: this one’s amazing.  Their banter is just on point from beginning to end.  We have a continuation of Jake and Hannah’s pleasant costar relationship, a continuation of Miley’s ever-more-obvious feelings for Jake, and we have a culmination of the tension between the two in an incredible scene. Once again, this does one of my favorite things: it turns the narrative on its head.  We know Miley used Willis to make Jake jealous, but now it’s revealed that Jake was doing the same thing with Holly all along.

“Holly?  She’s not my girlfriend.  We have a movie coming out, so we’ve been hanging out, it’s a publicity thing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

“Uhhh… well…  I-I think I—”

“Wait a minute, I know why.  Because you were trying to make me jealous.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.  Admit it, Jake, you like me.”

“No, you like me, just say it.”

“No, you say it!”

“No, you!”

“No, you!”

*cue Big Damn Kiss*

They spar with each other like this all episode, meeting each other on the same level beat for beat. And Lilly eating popcorn in the background and falling off her chair?  Let’s not lie to ourselves, we were all Lilly in this moment.  Ultimately, this isn’t the story of “how they got together,” because Jake leaves for a movie, but even that makes some sense.  He feels good that he got to kiss her before he left and doesn’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, she feels angry that he kissed her when he knew he’d be leaving soon, and ultimately his acting career comes before him having a normal life, as it always sort of has, which unfortunately means it also has to come before Miley.  But once again, we have an open ending, a clear “not now” rather than a “never,” and a question to be potentially answered in the future: Will They, Might They, and Would It Work Out?  And of course, what’s next?

But before we get into that, let’s talk about where it all began:

#3: “New Kid in School” (Season One)

Who doesn’t love a good First Meeting, especially one that starts off with two prospective lovers starting off on the wrong foot?  What I love about them starting off on the wrong foot here, though, is that it’s not really due to misunderstandings.  On the contrary, Miley is the only person who knows exactly what’s going on— even better than Jake does, I’d argue, because he doesn’t even realize how arrogant he comes across, and Miley’s the only one willing to call him out on it.

This isn’t even particularly a shippy episode, apart from “Also, he thinks I’m cute, not that I care,” but I’d argue it’s better because it establishes them as characters first, and as Foils.  Both of them are celebrities attending normal school and who, in theory, want to be treated like normal kids, but while Jake talks the talk and still gets everything he wants, Miley walks the walk and has to lose her celebrity privileges in exchange for peace and privacy.  It’s understandable that Miley feels she’s gotten the short end of the stick, and it’s only later, after she’s opened her big mouth of course, when Jake confides in her that sometimes he really does wish he could be normal, it’s only then that she realizes she’s the lucky one.  

But of course it’s not too late for her, it’s too early in the show for that!  So we see her family coming together in this hilarious scene where they pretend they’re all crazy celebrity-impersonators.  As a side note, I like to think they didn’t buy the Elvis costume for this, but that Jackson just had it lying around already and was itching for an excuse to use it.  (Maybe he was Elvis for a previous Halloween, idk.)

In any case, the reason I rank this higher is that even though it doesn’t show that Miley and Jake like each other all that much, it shows why they could like each other, which in my opinion is more important.  I mean, ideally, you’d have both, but this does a good job of introducing Jake as someone who seems like just another egotistical celebrity Miley can’t stand, but underneath that, is someone who just might understand what she goes through better than anyone, and Miley is the perfect person to understand him right back.  

#2: “That’s What Friends Are For?” (Season Two)

The return of not one, but two iconic guest stars in the best and worst way: together.  Months after their breakup, Miley finds Jake at her doorstep after sparring with Mikayla, and is sure he’s only there to get her back… but he just wants to be friends.  Great!  Good, no drama!  That’s exactly what she wanted… right?

Even better, he invites her on the set of a talk show so he can reveal his new movie… and his new costar, her archrival Mikayla.  The worst part is, he chose Mikayla out of courtesy.  He doesn’t know Hannah and Mikayla hate each other, because they act friendly when they’re on-camera.  He did it because he values his relationship with Miley, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by inviting her to play his love interest.  And Miley… well, we all know Miley isn’t as okay with this as she pretends to be, and it only becomes more apparent as the episode goes on.

What I love about this is the role reversal this puts them in.  For once, Jake is the one being mature, and Miley is the one that needs to apologize and grow, and admits it.  It’s framed that way and everything.  It’s almost bittersweet to watch, because this was such a good step for them, and probably the most mature episode involving the two. To see them go backwards in development after this, to see Jake be raked through the coals by the writers, all that good will between them forgotten and retconned and burned to hell later on, there’s just something very bitterly tragic about it.  This episode was so important for them, not just as a relationship, but as people, and I wish that good will they had towards each other had remained and gotten a proper follow-up.

Of course, this was itself an excellent follow-up to…

#1: “Achy Jakey Heart” (Season Two)

Was it ever even a question? Jake Ryan returns in glorious fashion: falling from the sky, in a tux, down on one knee begging Miley’s forgiveness, with chocolates from the sky.  Say what you will, that man knows his way around a Big Romantic Gesture.  And he doesn’t stop there: muffins, “Jake steak,” a cardboard cutout, and barging in the front door in a literal knight costume, he asks what more he can do.   More importantly, he says, “You’ve dumped stuff on me, and you’ve yelled at me.  The one thing you haven’t done is tell me you don’t care about me.  Tell me that, and I’ll go away.”  Even after all this, he’s willing to respect her if the answer is “no.”  He just wants to make sure it’s “no” because she doesn’t want him, and not because she doesn’t believe he cares for her.  He does care for her, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.  

He gets tested for this pretty much right away, fails in private, and then passes in public when Miley least expects him to.  After telling Miley he can’t take her to a movie premiere because he’s pretending to date his costar, he rejects his costar on live TV to confess his love for Miley.  He doesn’t do it expecting her to come back, rather, he admits his fault and accepts that for him, there’s no happy ending.  And Miley responds in the best way possible, showing up with a “Who says real life doesn’t have happy endings?” and a Big Damn Kiss of her own.

This is also when they confide in each other.  Jake tells her his real name is Leslie, and Miley tells him she’s Hannah Montana.  They’re vulnerable with each other for the first time in their relationship, and they understand each other better than ever. Unfortunately, it’s understanding, or lack thereof, that also leads to their demise.  

Jake wants to be a normal guy, or at least he thinks he does.  Miley feels to a certain extent that she is a normal girl, just a normal girl who happened to get famous.  And that disconnect, that difference hurts them.  Miley realizes that Jake doesn’t actually know what it’s like to be normal, and having to be with someone who can’t handle one night of it, as well as the pressure of being famous as Miley too, is what finally cracks them open.  I will say she could’ve handled it a lot better, and good on Jake for calling her out on her lack of communication, but in the end, their relationship is left with a mutual understanding: that Jake respects her secret, listened to what she had to say, and wants to improve.  Not so that he can get her back, but so that he can be “worthy of someone as terrific as” her.  

This also has ONE OF THE BEST SUBPLOTS OF ALL TIME.  Cheese jerky?  Capitalist commentary?  Jackson rolling in money and Rico being mad about it? Oliver and Jackson doing a rap together? Are you not entertained?  Like its main plot, this does end up reverting to the status quo by the end, but it’s done in a way that’s both crushingly realistic and brutally hilarious.  Overall, this episode?  One for the ages.

So there it is— every Jake Ryan episode, ranked.  I have a whole ton more I could say about Jake Ryan, Miley Stewart, and their overall dynamic (and probably will, this week lol nope), but I feel like this is a decent start that outlines my opinions in quite a bit of detail.  While not a perfect couple by any means, they sure as hell made the screen a lot more interesting.  And hey, the course of true love never did run smooth, why should they be any different?

[calzona-ga]

[Spoiler's] departure marks only the fifth time (and first since Patrick Dempsey) that the ABC medical drama has said farewell to a series regular via character death.

[This story contains spoilers from the March 11, "Helplessly Hoping," episode of Grey's Anatomy.]

Grey's Anatomy said parted ways with a beloved member of its cast during Thursday's midseason premiere and it did so in a relatively rare fashion for the ABC medical drama: with a character death.

Giacomo Gianniotti's Dr. Andrew DeLuca was killed off following a heroic battle to stop a sex trafficker in a storyline that stretched back to last season and ultimately capped the actor's seven-season run on the Shondaland favorite. DeLuca, who was stabbed and ultimately died in surgery, became only the fifth series regular in Grey's Anatomy history to have their storyline end in a fatality and the first since Patrick Dempsey's shocking exit nearly six years ago.

In a fitting end to his storyline, DeLuca winds up on Meredith's (Ellen Pompeo) magical beach and is able to have a farewell with his former love interest before walking into the sunset. DeLuca joins George (T.R. Knight), Derek (Dempsey), Mark (Eric Dane) and Lexie (Chyler Leigh) as series regulars (per Wikipedia) to leave the show in death. Of the 33 total series regulars in 17 seasons of Grey's, 13 characters have left alive. And it's of course worth noting that several other characters have been killed off of Grey's, though those actors have either been guest stars or recurring players.

Below, showrunner Krista Vernoff and star Gianniotti talk with The Hollywood Reporter about how DeLuca's death factors into a season that has put COVID-19 at the top of the show's call sheet and what's next.

Meredith is on a vent and that was the last beat until the show's return tonight. Why was it important for that to be the image viewers had of this iconic character for three months? She's still on the vent in the midseason return.

Vernoff: That happened to be the midseason finale. Sometimes stories tell themselves and things happen in very powerful ways. As an image, that works on people's psyche and helps them understand that this pandemic is ongoing and profound and impacting communities in really painful ways. It's a powerful image to help people remember why staying they're home. If this thing can hit Meredith Grey, it can hit anybody.

This season has put COVID-19 at the top of the call sheet, with realistic portrayals of everything from infected doctors, others struggling with the emotional gravity and, in the midseason finale, hospitals reached capacity. When it aired, that episode was sadly prescient. How does the rest of the season play out in terms of how close it has been to what's happening in the world now?

Vernoff: What's so interesting about it being prescient is that we were telling the truth in that episode of what was happening in May 2020 in Washington state and it was happening again in Los Angeles in December, when the episode aired. We weren't prescient; we were telling a story that happened in the early stage of the pandemic. It's been amazing how when we thought when we were breaking the show, we thought we were going home for two weeks and now it's a year later and we're looking at this in this way. It's still staggering to me. We are not jumping forward to some imaginary future where covid is a thing of the past. We are still set in the past in the back half of the season. That was one of the decisions when we decided that Meredith has covid and that that would span a fair amount of the season. We didn't want Meredith in a bed with covid for 11 months. We are still in like May/June of 2020 creatively. We're not jumping forward so we don't have to try and keep up with what's happening now; we're looking at what was happening then.

In a season exploring covid, why was the first major character death of the season unrelated? Was this supposed to be the season finale last year?

Vernoff: There was no plan to kill him at the end of last season. I very much did not want to kill DeLuca last season because he'd been through a mental health crisis and he'd come through it. I wanted to show that a person can go through a mental health crisis and come out the other side and be a functional, contributing member of the hospital staff. This story of DeLuca seeing that sex trafficker again and following her out of the hospital and refusing to let up and it becoming a part of Station 19 and following it and right when you think he's got her, somebody punches him. You think he's been punched but you come back and realize he's been stabbed and then he's on the beach with Meredith. My reaction to [the story idea] was, What?! Fuck! No! Really!? This is what I'm doing?! No! Many times after I pitched it to the writers and we designed the season around this story, I started to chicken out and second-guess myself. Can we save him?! Can he live?! He can't. We've done a lot of near-deaths and saved them since I took over the show. So now people are expecting that. This was the story. It was as shocking to me as it was to you.

Giacomo, what was your reaction when you got the call that Andrew was being killed off?

Gianniotti: Krista and Debbie Allen, our exec producer, called me into an office said they've tried it different ways and keep coming back to the trafficking storyline from last season. The storyline was so highly received, and because of that, they knew they had to continue to explore it. They saw an opportunity to tell a beautiful story that highlighted human trafficking and for DeLuca to go down as a hero and make this really noble act to stop this perpetrator but would unfortunately cost him his life. I've been on the show for seven seasons thought it was a great way to exit. Krista running Station 19 as well had the idea to make it a crossover so we could tell it over two episodes and spend time with DeLuca. I'm a storyteller and the best story always wins and I thought this was the best story.

What was the larger point you wanted to make with DeLuca's storyline? He dies a hero, which is a bit of the ultimate for a Grey's death.

Vernoff: I was processing [grief] myself when this story came. As we were going through this shared trauma of covid together and quarantine and being away from the people we loved, I wanted all the other tragedies in the world to just stop. It didn't seem fair. The Alexandria House, a charity I support in L.A. that shelters battered women and their children — so people who have already been traumatized — the first week of the shutdown, the Alexandria House caught on fire. It was like, What?! Isn't covid enough? But everything else didn't stop because of covid and we were all having to process other things, too, and horrible tragedies that come with life. That's part of where this story was born. All these people are going to die of covid but also sometimes other people just die. And it's f—ing awful. Part of DeLuca dying in this way … watching this episode, watching his mom greet him on the beach and feeling that grief, I cried harder watching this episode than I cried since George O'Malley died. I thank Giacomo for playing this character so beautifully and powerfully that through the death of DeLuca I believe there is an opportunity for us all to release our collective grief.

Will DeLuca re-appear on that beach again this season?

Vernoff: No. I thought him walking away with his mom was the most powerful closure for that character. But you will see him again, just not on the beach.

Gianniotti: Even though his life has come to an end, there's many ways to show our characters who have passed. I look forward to tell some other stories in those ways. Maybe there's flashbacks or other scenarios where we can see DeLuca. That's about all I can say. But it's not a drill; he's definitely died.

What was filming on that beach like given how much those scenes have meant to viewers?

Gianniotti: Ellen and I kept pinching ourselves. To be able to shoot on a beach was amazing. It was nice to be a part of that and have DeLuca have his moment and say his piece with Meredith. There was a lot of unfinished business between them. Maybe if Meredith hadn't gotten covid, the first part of this season could have been them picking up the pieces of where they left off in their romances. But circumstances didn't allow for that. It was nice that DeLuca got to at least thank her for everything she'd given him.

How do you think Meredith will respond to DeLuca's death?

Gianniotti: It's tough to say because you think of the dream and what happened at the end of the episode and wonder if Meredith would correlate that with the metaphor: if he's joining his mother that must mean he's leaving me and passing on. Maybe that would translate to her waking up? Who knows? Or it will be a massive surprise when she wakes up. There is a very obvious, glaring comparison with reality in that so many health care professionals have lost their own due to covid. It's a direct representation and reflection of that. It's helping people in the industry feel seen as well. It hits different and it's going to send a shockwave through all the characters at the hospital — and maybe Meredith the most.

Knowing Meredith is battling covid, it feels like there's one of two outcomes there. How does the covid story that you're telling impact the different finales that you're crafting considering the show's uncertain future?

Vernoff: More will be revealed as you watch the show. (Laughs)

Without spoiling anything, how would you describe who else will visit Meredith on that magical beach?

Vernoff: There are some really fun surprises coming up. It's one of the things that I have enjoyed as rays of light in the darkness of the storytelling necessitated by covid. That beach is a ray of light and the surprises of who you see there are rays of light. And I don't want to take that away.

Can you confirm there will be others who appear on that beach who viewers haven't seen there yet this season?

Vernoff: Yes.

Giacomo, you got to make your directorial debut on Grey's this season. After seven seasons, was there anything you wanted to do on the show but never had the chance?

Gianniotti: This felt like a gift. They rolled everything I wanted to do into two episodes, they wrote my dream exit storyline. I got to have an action movie told on Station 19 chasing a perpetrator and not wearing scrubs. That was fun and not something I'd gotten to do on Grey's for obvious reasons. All the scenes where we got to take our time and be together with Ellen and Meredith on the beach was a good way to tie up the loose ends. As far as the mental health storyline, it was an honor and privilege to tell that story. Ultimately, it's about representation and for people to see someone who is bipolar can be an attending and command a whole department at a hospital is huge.

Did you keep anything from set?

Gianniotti: I didn't! Maybe I'll go steal my stethoscope next time I'm there!

What's next for you? Any plans on returning to Grey's as a director?

Gianniotti: Definitely investing a ton of time in directing and hoping to continue to do that here and abroad. I'm seeking a lot of opportunities in Italy and Canada as a director and actor and have a few things coming on the horizon that I'm excited to share

[strawberriestyles]

Chapter 4

(Banner made by sweet sunshine @harry-nofookingway-styles​)

Harry X OFC (AU)

Sequel to Brutality: In which Melody and Harry must relearn how to navigate one another among a flurry of changes.

Read previous parts here.

Author’s note: HELLO HELLO PLS ENJOY MY BIRTHDAY CHAPTER MWAH

Harry’s mood seemed to improve, but according to Sean, it was only around Melody. When it was just him with Harry, he was just as miserable as he’d been the past few weeks. And Melody didn’t know what to think of that.

“Harry, I don’t think you’re getting how to play this game.”

“What d’yeh mean? ‘M playin’ just how yeh explained it.”

Sean coughed to hide his laughter, but Melody didn’t even try to mask the wide smile breaking out over her face. She shook her head and laid her hand of cards facedown on the table they'd swiveled over Harry’s bed.

“You just claimed you had three queens when you only had one,” she said to him, “which meant that either Sean or I already had at least two. You can’t have three queens.”

“Sound like the ‘inconceivable’ guy from that movie yeh made me watch,” Harry grumbled, tossing his own hand onto the table. “Nothin’ yeh’re sayin’ makes any sense. Whatever. Whole game seems like bullshit, anyway.”

Melody shot Sean an amused look as she sat back in her chair. “Was there something else you wanted to do, then?”

“Yeah, wanna get the fuck outta here.”

Melody crossed her arms over her chest and drew in a deep breath. Sean shuffled all the playing cards into a pile so he could return them to their box. “It’s pouring out, Harry,” he informed him.

“Can see just fine, thanks.”

“See?” Sean directed to Melody. “Miserable. You’re not nice, Harry.”

“Well, he does have two working eyes,” Melody agreed, gesturing to the windows, where rain was beating heavily against the panes and the sky had grown dark and gloomy. “And that’s not what he meant, anyway.”

“Thank you,” Harry said. He covered half of his face as he yawned, and then added, “At least one of us has a whole brain.”

Sean laughed like he’d just witnessed comedic gold. Harry grinned at him. “Was good, right?”

The smile was so bright, something that she hadn’t seen in so long, that Melody felt that all too familiar ache again. Even though she didn’t find his joke funny. She didn’t find any of his self-deprecating jokes funny at all. But she would endure them if this was the way that he delivered them, all bright-eyed.

Sean must have made a joke too, because Harry was laughing. A full, loud laugh. Melody couldn’t contain her own smile at the sound of it, at the way his eyes crinkled up at the corners. And then it stopped. Abruptly.

Harry’s spine curled forward. His head dropped into his palms and his fingers curled into his scalp. His breath stopped short in his throat. And then he let out a gasp, a heavy groan laced with pain. Melody had never heard him make a sound like that. Her smile fell faster than a drop of rain.

“Harry?” she whispered, leaning forward and slipping her fingers over the back of his neck, beneath his hair. “What’s wrong?”

He winced again, loudly, and hunched further forward.

“Sean, go get the doctor,” Melody muttered urgently.

Sean nodded quickly and was out of his chair, rushing into the hallway before Melody could even move again.

“Hey.” She shifted onto the edge of the mattress and ran her hand down Harry’s spine. Her other fingers rubbed at his wrist, where he was holding his head. “What’s going on?”

Harry did nothing but grit his teeth together and tip forward until his forehead met her chest. His breath returned, heavier, and his legs pulled in toward his body.

There was a rustle in the doorway as Dr. Florin entered the room and Sean stopped at its threshold. Melody caught the doctor’s eye as she leaned over the bed and began to lay Harry back. He grunted. His eyes were clamped tightly shut, his fingers still curled into the sides of his head.

“Harry, I need you to tell me what you’re feeling,” Florin said quietly. She pulled his hands away with a bit of an effort and began to probe around his head. Melody settled back into her chair, her fingers twitching around the edges of her lips.

“Feel’s like my head’s on fire,” Harry spat out before clamping his teeth back together.

Dr. Florin finished examining his head and as soon as her touch retreated, his hands returned. She peeled back the lid of one of his eyes and shined her penlight into his pupil, then repeated the same on the other side. Harry’s heaving breaths continued throughout, and then she backed away. She gestured to Melody as she returned to the hallway.

Melody squeezed at Harry’s forearm and then hurried after the doctor. “What’s going on?” she asked without a pause as she stepped up beside Sean.

“His brain has healed as best as it’s ever going to, Melody, but that’s a lot of trauma for it to go through. It’s amazing that the bullet didn’t ruin any of his basic functioning, but he’s probably going to have pains like this for the rest of his life. We’ll get him something to dull them. I was going to discharge him in the morning, but I think he should stay another day for monitoring. All right?”

“Are you sure we don’t need another MRI or—“

“He’s okay, Melody.”

Melody clutched at her elbows and gave a minute nod. Dr. Florin pursed her lips as she turned to hurry down the hall, and Sean met Melody’s eyes for a short second before the two of them returned to the room.

Harry’s hands were knotted into fists, his knuckles pressed to his brows. Melody could see his arms shaking at their odd angles. She stepped back to his bedside and smoothed hair back from his forehead, whispering into his ear.

“They’re gonna give you something for the pain, okay?”

Harry’s head barely moved, but she could feel the hint of a nod beneath her palm.

Dr. Florin returned shortly. She hooked Harry back up to the IV drip that he hadn’t needed for weeks and then injected a medication into the line. Sean sat back down in his chair, fingers working at his jaw. The doctor watched Harry’s pulse begin to steady in the next few minutes, and then nodded and stepped out of the room silently.

“Okay. Okay,” Melody muttered, sitting on the edge of the mattress once again. She took Harry’s hand when he finally lowered it from his forehead after another few minutes. His eyes were open, lazily roaming the ceiling as she curled her fingers around his. He parted his lips and mumbled something.

“What’s that, man?” Sean asked, leaning forward.

“Really am a hothead, yeah?” Harry said, raising his voice just above a whisper.

Sean exhaled a weak chuckle and leaned back in his chair.

Melody rolled her eyes. She lifted his hand to place a kiss on his thumb and then leaned in to settle her lips at his temple. “You need to work on your jokes.”

“Hmm,” Harry murmured. He closed his eyes and Melody pulled herself back upright. “Maybe you just need to work on your sense of humor. Sean thinks ‘m funny.”

“Yeah, well you’re both idiots, so.” Harry’s lips twitched. His fingers were loosening in her grip. “Sean and I will go get some food while you take a nap, okay?” Melody said.

He hummed, barely above a breath. Melody slid back onto her feet and settled his hand at his side. She took a final sweep over his relaxed form and his lulling head, and then led Sean out of the room.

***

Harry slept for hours. Melody ate a large salad in the cafeteria, as per Sean’s instructions, since she wouldn’t be training the next day and didn’t need to load up on carbs. They took their time eating, and after returning to Harry’s room, played a few games of cards and watched an episode of a court program on T.V.

Sean yawned when the show ended. He looked out the window, where the rain was still falling, but had let up just a bit. “I should get going,” he said, “before it starts coming down heavier. You gonna stay the night?”

Melody looked over at Harry’s face, still relaxed with sleep, his lips parted but his breathing soundless. She nodded.

“Okay, well let him know I said to get his ass out of bed tomorrow.”

Melody smiled. “I’ll tell him.”

“We’ll take a break from training until he gets settled in at home, but don’t forget about your match on Friday. Keep your muscles loose.”

Sean slipped into his jacket and took one last look at Harry before heading for the door.

“Get home safe,” Melody called after him, and he lifted a hand in farewell before disappearing into the hall.

The room was quiet and the shows dull without any conscious company. Melody had grown used to this loneliness over the past few months, but that didn’t make it any better or easier. Her feet were kicked up onto the corner of Harry’s mattress and her head kept lolling.

“Mel?”

She lifted her head from the back of her chair, twisting around to see Harry’s face. He was rubbing at his sleepy eyes. Melody was surprised how the smallest things opened up wounds in her chest and then stitched them right back together. She hadn’t seen him so tired and fresh from sleep in what felt like an eternity.

“How’re you feeling?” she whispered, blinking her own exhaustion away.

“Don’ even know,” he mumbled.

“Are you hungry?”

Harry shook his head. He glanced up at the T.V. and watched its picture with a blank gaze.

“Had me a little panicked,” Melody said after a moment’s pause. She pulled her feet back down to the floor and turned her chair toward the top of the bed.

“Yeah?” Harry dropped his eyes to her face and ran his tongue over his dry bottom lip. “What’d Florin say?”

Melody hesitated. She didn’t want to be the bearer of even more bad news. Harry’d received enough of that in the past few weeks to last him multiple lifetimes. But she didn’t have much of a choice.

“She said you might have random pains like that for the rest of your life.”

Harry blinked once, twice, and then rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “Just my luck,” he muttered.

“You’ll have medication for it, though,” Melody added. She didn’t know if that was any comfort at all.

“Sean leave?”

Melody nodded. “But he said you need to get up tomorrow. Dr. Florin thinks you might be discharged Thursday morning.”

Harry’s eyes brightened, as they usually did when there was talk of leaving the hospital. He was beginning to grow skeptical, though, that he would ever be free. Especially when his physical therapy seemed to be so slow-going. He was wary, even as Melody smiled at him.

“Thursday mornin’, for real?” he asked.

“Yeah, if you don’t have another one of...these again,” Melody answered, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. “And Aiden wants to check that your motor function is improved enough to leave.” She leaned forward, out of her chair, to press a kiss to the corner of Harry’s lips, to his temple. She settled her chin into his hair, thick with dried sweat from his episode earlier. She didn’t mind the scent or the texture. It was all just Harry to her.

He lifted a hand to the back of her head. The other to the dip of her spine, and when she pulled back from his hair he pulled her face down to meet his.

Melody locked her lips with his, fitting together like magnets. She cupped the corner of his jaw and buried her other fist in his pillow cover. There was something in the firm pressure of his lips, the way that they slipped from hers only to return at a new angle. It made her shoulders shake. Her very bones ached so powerfully she thought he could have splintered them himself. She slumped into him, struggling to pull air through her nose but unwilling to break the kiss. And when Harry finally broke it for her, she felt her body grow slack.

He pressed his hand into her back as she dipped her chin into his neck. She was gasping against his skin like she’d just sprinted a mile. He turned his cheek into the curl of her fingers around his jaw, stroked the hair spilling between her shoulder blades, and breathed in the scent of her conditioner. He felt her relax beneath his hands, but he was craving this touch just as much, and there was a delay to his movements when Melody began to pull away.

Her breathing had evened out. She felt Harry’s hands snag in the locks of her hair, in the waist of her sweater, and she bit her lip as those hands fell back to his chest. Her fingers smoothed down the slopes of his shoulders. She paused and then pressed another short kiss to his mouth before standing up straight, trying to shake off the gelatinous feeling in her limbs. Now that she’d kissed him like that again, she wanted to feel the heat of it all the time. Her lips wanted to always be touching his. She didn’t think she could take even the most chaste of pecks for granted anymore.

“Get some sleep, Harry,” she whispered, her voice raw. "Gotta show Aiden you’re ready to get outta here tomorrow."

“Are yeh stayin’, love?”

Melody nodded, pulling her hands back to cross her arms over her chest. There was a full ache when she was no longer touching him. Was this normal?

“D’yeh want me to move over? Yeh can lay up—”

“No, no,” Melody rushed with a quick shake of her head. It didn’t feel right. Although she wanted nothing more than to curl up with him. She didn’t want that in a hospital bed. “It’s okay. I’m used to the chair.”

“But yeh don’ have—”

“I’m okay, Harry. I promise. You won’t be in here in a couple days and then we won’t have to worry about it. Don’t worry about it.”

Harry sighed, letting his eyes flutter as Melody’s fingers skimmed over his wrist to emphasize her point. “Okay,” he assented.

Melody offered him a twitch of her lips and trailed across the room to shut the door with a soft click.

“What’re yeh doin’?” Harry asked.

“Changing,” Melody answered as she wandered back over to her chair and pulled her bag onto the seat, digging through its contents for the clothes that she always brought, just in case she decided to spend the night in the hospital. She hadn’t slept here since the week that Harry woke up.

Melody yanked her sweater over her head and unclasped her bra without a moment’s hesitation. Even staring out the room’s windows, into the sky, dark with night and rainclouds, she still felt the heat of Harry’s gaze, his eyes streaking down her bare torso. She slipped a t-shirt over her head and then kicked off her shoes and peeled off her jeans. It was only a moment before she was in a pair of sweatpants and kicked back in her chair, her heels propped on the edge of Harry’s bed again. He was still watching her, crease between his brows.

“What?” she mumbled around a yawn. The television was still humming, rain pattering against the windowpanes in the background. It was meditative and it made her sleepy.

“Yeh used to be nervous takin’ your clothes off around me.”

Melody pulled a blanket out of her bag and tilted her head on the back of the chair as she draped it over her legs. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen a hundred times.”

“Haven’ seen that bruise on your hip.”

Melody pulled her lip between her teeth and let her fingers fall to the hem of her shirt, just over the tender skin that he’d pointed out.

“Let me see it.”

Melody frowned, shaking her head. “No, Harry.”

“Why not?”

She rubbed at her eyes and smoothed hair out of her face. “Just because, okay?”

“No, I—”

“Harry, please.” Melody stared at him, holding his heavy gaze. She tapped her toe against his shin through the sheets. “I don’t wanna argue.”

He snorted, a dry half-laugh, and closed his eyes, resting his head back against his pillow and lowering the upper portion of his bed. “Goodnight.”

Melody pulled her blanket up over her shoulders and watched Harry’s jaw flex as he relaxed. She pulled in a long breath and let her own eyes close. “Goodnight, Harry,” she whispered.

Chapter 5