#I can’t figure out what’s wrong

[cfs-crohns-colitis-warrior]

I wish there was an easy way to increase my appetite cause then I’d be able to get out of this place and go back home.

Things I usually wanna eat just don’t seem appetising to me at all and I just don’t want anything, despite the fact I’m hungry, and I’m not entirely sure what’s causing the low appetite.

It could be stress, anxiety, or depression. If it’s one of those I need some way to reduce them so I can increase my appetite again and get back home. Problem is it’s easier said than done, cause I’m anxious about the fact I’m not really eating and don’t want anything. I’m stressed that I can’t seem to find anything I want to eat and that I therefore can’t go home yet. And I’m depressed that I’m still stuck in hospital and have been for so many weeks out of the year because I’ve been in and out all year.

It could also be my low magnesium levels. I know they’re low and according to a quick Google search that can cause lack of appetite, so I’m kinda hoping it’s just that so that I can have that medication and be back to wanting stuff to eat again.

At least all the other times this year there was an actual problem that landed me in the hospital and was fixable, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time. Multiple courses of antibiotics finally got rid of the infection that was causing me problems.

This time around it was that, and there were no other infections present, so I don’t know what cause my stoma output to turn to water again and cause my dip in eating and drinking that cause my dehydration and trip to a&e. It’s harder when there’s nothing to treat with medication because you’re left not really knowing what to do. Part of me wonders if something went wrong over the weekend. After a couple of days in I’d been rehydrated and was eating like normal again, but then suddenly on Sunday night I had a massive dip again and was ill, and had to have a cannula put in late at night and anti sickness through it. I don’t know what cause that but since that one, even after being rehydrated again, I still have no appetite which is normally up after rehydration. Maybe I’m not hydrated enough. Maybe it’s the magnesium levels. Maybe it’s because I seem to have picked up something else because I developed a cough yesterday and they’re testing me for covid just in case, though they’re not concerned about the fact I’ve felt like I’ve had a temperature and I know the feeling all too well, I know when it’s too high even if it’s still in the green on their system because it’s naturally fairly low. I asked for a paracetamol at like half 5 this morning after observations and the HCA said the nurse would be doing med rounds soon and I could ask for it then, which was a straight up lie and I knew it cause med rounds don’t come until like half 7 gone after the shift change, but I was too tired to argue. I figured I’d just deal with it and push off my covers and stick with shivering so I didn’t make it any worse and possibly get no more sleep until med rounds. Then they went round with meds and missed me out entirely. This keeps happening; they seem to keep skipping over me even though I should be having regular anti sickness. All the meds I’m supposed to be having I have to keep buzzing and asking for because they’re skipping over me and I don’t know why. So I’m asking my dad to bring meds from home instead at visiting and I’m going to self medicate so at least I can actually have what I need when I need it. Sorry for the rant and long post guys, it didn’t start with the intention of a rant, just turned into one lol.

[babaiii]

CW BLOOD CW GORE CW ANIMAL DEATH (FOR FOOD)

what does he mean by this !?

anyways. do you ever think about how many animals sanji skins and guts? i think it’s an interesting contrast to him being careful around tiny creatures. i do think his mentality of never wasting food helps with say respect to the animals they eat, but still i wonder how he’d feel about it after he’s confronted with ‘turning heartless’ moment. oh to be killed by my rival who i know is soft hearted and respectful and strong enough to not make me suffer —

also here’s butcher sanji yay

[scrapyardwings]

Feel like Church of the Glorious Evolved would gain a following just based on the principle that if someone asked, the Machine Herald would give a hysterectomy with zero questions.

[mirthmave]

I’m currently writing an AU Under the Red Hood where Jason doesn’t go after Bruce and Joker. Instead Talia helps him get a handle on his anger and he decides he’s going to go back to Gotham and help the way we know (and love) him for. And if by chance he crosses paths with a certain clown then he’ll deal with him himself.

Progress begins to be shown in Crime Alley, much to the police and vigilante’s annoyance (and somewhat respect) when it comes out that the Mayor has been arrested for corruption.

And then Jason gets an idea.

A marvellous idea.

A marvellously, fun idea.

Since he’s done such good work in Crime Alley, he has the experience to show that he has the experience to be Gotham’s Mayor.

And so, Red Hood decides that he’s going to run for Mayor of Gotham.

[multi-purpose-paperclip]

I have 2 questions.

Can you pretty please draw Scout (I love him in your art style)

Will you marry me?

wowza, I’m flattered!!!!

anywayz here’s your scout! blu edition this time….

[hollys-fairy-hell]

Lord imagine Irep taunting Peri in the early stages of him being captured. As much as I love this ship I also love the bitter enemies.

I got carried away with this one. Angst below my friends. Angst below.

Irep doing and saying anything to make Peri as miserable as possible in his final moments. Dev in tow.

Just to stop coming all together when he realises Peri is too far gone for it to even hurt him anymore. Dev suggesting they go back to rub it in Peris face somemore only to be met with a bored look and a “no point his mind is to far gone for it to really hurt him now.” Or something

Irep just bored of it. While Peris only time seeing anyone else was when Irep and Dev came by. He is just alone now. Nothing to distract him from the fact hes going to die alone in a cage. Maybe he was trying to keep it together cause Dev was present. But now fully alone, knowing himself that hes probably not even worth it to Irep. Knowing that must mean hes close to dying. Maybe he wished the pain was more blinding. More mind numbing so he couldn’t think like Irep probably thought. Maybe he doesn’t want to think about how hes never gonna see his family again.

Maybe Dev can sneak a peak at this state of complete misery? Maybe Peri having a little sob begging for it to be over. Just a nice quite little moment of loosing all hope? Curled up in on himself in the middle of the floor where Irep last tossed him about. Quietly begging for someone to come back. To not be all alone. Even if he gets hurt some more. Even if they taunt him. To just not be alone.

I wonder how a 10 year old would react to that. Probably trying to be bitter. Sneaking away again. Finding his dad. Telling himself that it’s the only way to get his dad to love him. Constantly repeating in his mind that it’s Peris fault for failing him. For his rules. Knowing deep down. In is heart that isnt true but theres nothing he can do.

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

Alpha & Pebble my beautifully fucked up boys ! Here’s them fighting because they don’t know how to communicate. Angst, but with some tiny bit of comfort ? Maybe ? I’m not sure it really is comfort but well.

Alpha’s not sure what the Sibling of Sin said, he only caught the tail end of a mean laugh, but it must’ve been about Delta ; it’s the only thing that could get that reaction out of Pebble. Snarl peeling his lips so far back it looks borderline painful, eyes blazing, tail whipping the air, claws extended.

The earth ghoul is about to pounce on the stupid, stupid human, rip them to shreds and risk being sent back to the pit for the offense it represents. Alpha acts on instinct alone.

The fire ghoul barely manages to catch the back of Pebble’s uniform just as the earth ghoul leaps toward the Sibling. Pebble didn’t see Alpha coming, too blinded by rage, and is caught by surprise ; in a second, and despite his vigorous thrashing, Alpha has the earth ghoul in a chokehold, his arm digging into Pebble’s neck in an effort to keep him from committing first degree murder.

The Sibling blanches at the display, finally realizing their stupidity, the amount of danger they’ve subjected themselves to by sheer malice, and scurries away while they still can. 

Alpha curses as he drags Pebble away, sharp kicks surely bruising his legs, claws raking along his arm in an attempt to make him let go. No chance. Alpha only tightens his hold, cutting Pebble’s airways even more off until the earth ghoul’s knees buckle under him and he let himself be thrown into the common room.

Alpha only grants him a few seconds to take deep, gasping breaths before taking two fistful of the front of Pebble’s uniform, hauling him up against the wall ; with the earth ghoul being a good head shorter than Alpha, and pretty light in comparison,  it’s easy for the fire ghoul to pin Pebble there, his feet barely grazing the ground.

« Are you stupid ?! » Alpha growls inches from Pebble’s face.

« Let go you fucking-»

« No, » Alpha grunts, baring his own fangs, « I asked you a question. Are you fucking stupid ?! That what you earth ghouls do, smoke your brains away ?! You know what happens to dumb sons of bitches who harm members of the Church ?! Do you want to be sent back, away from you greenhouse, your home, your pack ?! »

Pebble blinks, momentarily stunned by the reason behind Alpha’s anger, before his face contorts once again and venom creeps back in the pale green of his eyes.

« So you’d let that piece of shit say whatever they want ? Insult Delta whenever they like ? »

So Alpha was right, it was indeed about Delta. The fire ghoul doesn’t get to say what he wants, Pebble is on a roll.

« Yes, of course you would. Pack only matters when it suits you, yeah ? When it’s convenient. But the second protecting it might cause troubles, you back off like the coward you are. Is there any of us you’d take actual risks for ? Is there anyone outside of Omega, oh so precious Omega, you would sacrifice things for ? »

Alpha sees red, Pebble��s word cutting deep, hitting a nerve dead on. How dare he. How dare Pebble question everything Alpha did for the pack ? The fire ghoul doesn’t know if he wants to rip the earth ghoul’s tongue out or curl into himself to sob. 

Pebble opens his mouth to go on, and Alpha is absolutely sure he cannot take a drop more of the earth ghoul’s venom, that infamous venom of his that slithers into your veins, wraps around your heart, squeezes until it bursts.

Alpha throws Pebble to the ground, sits on his chest, raises a fist - aiming for his face, maybe his nose, anything that would make the earth ghoul shut up, shut up, shut up.

That’s when Alpha catches the glimmer of hope in Pebble’s eyes, realization dawning on him with the effect of a cold shower. Pebble itches for a fight. Wants to get hit, beaten up to a pulp, and who better to rile up for that than Alpha, short-tempered, sparring enthusiast Alpha ?

As always, Pebble is seeking what he cannot ask for, and seeking it from Alpha. 

The fire ghoul stills, fist still raised. Pebble waits, tense as a bowstring, eyeing it almost voraciously. But there, under the anger and inexplicable need to be hurt, something fragile, vulnerable hides. 

Whatever the Sibling said, Pebble took it to heart.

Alpha’s eyes slip closed, a shuddering sigh escaping him as he brings his hand down slowly, grabbing Pebble’s jaw firmly, but with unusual gentleness. The earth ghoul stiffens.

« You know damn well I take care of my pack. And, whether you like it or not, you are pack too. So the next time you want to be used as a fucking punching bag, you join me on the mat instead of running your fucking mouth and goading me into damn near killing you. »

Despite the simmering fury in Alpha’s voice, his hand doesn’t tightens, simply stays there, holding.

Pebble’s eyes flash with both desperation and rage.

« Don’t pretend to care- »

Alpha growls again, tail slapping against the floor harshly enough to sting.

« Stop telling me how I feel, Pebble. My feelings are mine, you don’t get to twist them into what’s more convenient for you. »

All the fight seems to rush out of the earth ghoul’s body at that. Pebble’s muscles all let go at once, his face growing weary, almost melancholic. He avoids Alpha’s eyes, nods curtly.

« Got it. »

Alpha can’t help the way his eyebrows skyrocket toward his hairline at that, but doesn’t comment. It’s as close an apology as he’ll get from Pebble.

The earth ghoul is staring at Alpha’s arm, jaw clenching hard. There’s a few rivulets of blood trickling from the claw marks Pebble left on it in his efforts to free himself.

For a moment, they stay frozen like this, something akin to « what now ? » floating in the heavy silence between them.

A door slamming in the distance snaps them out of it. Alpha let go of Pebble, stands up to let the earth ghoul do the same. Pebble runs a hand through his short, messy hair, strands spiking in every directions. 

Sighing heavily, Alpha adjusts his shirt, glad that he wasn’t wearing his own uniform, or else he’d have a lot of explaining to do as to why his sleeve would be in tatters. Again.

From the corner of his eyes, the fire ghoul spies Pebble awkwardly straightening his collar, somehow seeming reluctant to leave. Alpha watches him, and yet, he’s caught completely off guard when the earth ghoul grabs his injured arm, careful to avoid the cuts, eyes glaring daggers at the consequences of his own anger.

The strangeness of the situation keeps Alpha frozen, eyes glued to Pebble’s face. The near permanent crease between the earth ghoul’s eyebrows, the scar cutting through the bridge of his nose, the smattering of freckles across his cheekbones, the scruff eating away at his cheeks, everything is thrown into sharp focus by their sudden stillness.

When the earth ghoul looks up at Alpha, the fire ghoul wonders what he sees. Yellow eyes Pebble’s dying to gouge out ? Already crooked nose the earth ghoul longs to break into an even more unsavory form ? Deep claw marks on his cheek he’d like to extend ? But the look in Pebble’s eyes doesn’t hold any murderous intent. It’s conflicted, confused, the abrupt change in their usual dynamic rendering him just as silent as Alpha. 

For once, they are both out of words. A miracle, really.

Then, Pebble let go so suddenly you’d think Alpha lost control of his fire and inflicted him a third degree burn.

« You should get those checked out, » the earth ghoul mumbles, resolutely staring at his feet.

Alpha blinks, lost for a moment, before remembering his injuries.

« Those are just scratches. »

Pebble scoffs, but doesn’t add anything, fleeing the room without once meeting Alpha’s eyes again.

The fire ghoul heaves a sigh, scrubs his hand over his face. He feels weird, Pebble’s expression when he took stock of the damages he’d done lingering in his mind. 

Alpha hopes Mist will let him share a smoke with her tonight, Satan knows he could use her blunt honesty to understand whatever the fuck just happened.

But first, he has a Sibling to scare the living daylight out of to ensure they won’t breath a word of Pebble’s near slip up.

[amemoryofwot]

I can’t!!! Handle!!! This!!!!

If they show ANY of this in S3 I’m done for I’m so gone

[creativity-deficient]

Vent below-

[stuffyflowers]

*massaging my temples with an irritated expression* I am soooooooo tired of people misunderstanding starlos character

[quibbs126]

I can finally post this, after weeks!

But yeah, this here is something I made to celebrate the 9th anniversary of Evoland 2

Some people may remember this work in progress from weeks ago, but now I can finally show the finished product. Which I finished 2 weeks ago

It’s based on the 3D picture you get when you finish the game, specially the 100% completion, and more specifically, my screenshot that I took when I first completed the game and got 100%

Though I should probably also note that this was the only picture I had of the beach scene until I was mostly done with the picture, so there are some inaccuracies between it and the original. Except for Reno in place of the Prophet, that was completely intentional

This game was I think the first (and will probably be the only) game I’ve ever 100% completed, and when I did it the first time, it was just because I knew that games would have extra things for those who 100% it, and I wanted to see what the game would give me. It’s the only time I was so invested in a game that I had to know what I’d get if I got everything. It’s also the only game where losing nearly 10 hours of progress due to a (maybe) glitch does not make me give up the game in frustration, but instead complete the entire thing within a single school week

I may gripe about my issues with the game, but I absolutely love it, and I have a lot of fun playing it. Well, aside from the parts I’m bad at, but that’s just because I’m bad at them. I feel like I have next to nothing to complain about from a gameplay perspective (which is in part because I don’t know how to critique gameplay, but also because I think any issues I have are my own fault), it’s just narrative stuff. And even then, I wouldn’t nitpick it so much if I wasn’t so invested in the world, story and characters

Maybe today I’ll start replaying it again, seeing how I’m pretty sure I’m free today from any schoolwork

I’m still holding on to some admittedly delusional hope that a 3rd game could release one day, even if I know it’ll almost certainly have nothing to do with this one, but even if it never does, I’ll still have this game to play over and over again, so I can accept it

I was disappointed that I missed the last two, since I first played the game in 2022, but not this year, I remembered!

Now to just talk about the art itself, the reason there’s two versions is because I originally made the background lineless, but after finishing the characters I thought it maybe clashed a bit too much, so I made a duplicate of the picture to do a lined version. But I also spent so long on the lineless version that I didn’t want to just leave it in the void, so I’m showing it too

Admittedly now I think I can say the lined version probably is the better one, but I can still show off both

I used the card colors for the characters, since all of them have cards for reference, but now I’m looking at the colors and thinking they look somewhat wrong. At least on Menos

Also as mentioned prior, I switched out the Prophet for Reno. I know I’m biased but I really think he’d fit in this picture of all the main characters far more than the Prophet, considering he’s kind of the reason the plot started, the second half happened, and he’s the main motivation for one of our party members. I mean, I see why the Prophet’s there in the original. He’s really the only other semi-important character with a 3D model, and Reno never had one, so they’d have to make an entirely new one just for this extra thing. Also it doesn’t make sense for him to have a 3D model in the first place, especially not of his Present era self. But not only is this now a drawing where I have the power to do what I want, this scene isn’t canon in the first place, so put Reno in the background there!

Overall though, I’m honestly surprised the piece turned out as good as it did. Those who follow me know that I was really struggling with drawing during the summer, more specifically drawing people and the Evoland 2 cast. But despite all that, I think the characters turned out pretty well. Certainly not the best, but better than I was expecting. And not only that, but the background turned out so much better than I thought it would, especially since I don’t usually do backgrounds. Though I suppose it does help to have a reference for all this though. But yeah, there was a reason I was so proud of how the sketch turned out, and while the final product may not have entirely been what I was hoping for after the sketch, it still turned out pretty good

As long as I can remember it next year (which I really hope I can, considering that’s the 10th anniversary), I’ll try to make something there too, hopefully with much improved drawing skills, since I’m still trying to figure all that out again still

Not sure what I’ll draw then. Maybe I could redraw the beach scene, or make an entirely new beach scene concocted by my brain. But it’s also the 10th anniversary next year, so maybe it should be something more special

Ah well, that’s next year’s problem. For now, have this to celebrate the game’s anniversary. For the minuscule amount of people who actually play this game, I guess

[icetobes]

i’m on a roll honestly

RICHIE LIPSCHITZ WHO CHEERED !!!

[fenharel-babe]

ANOTHER QUESTION TO THE FANDOM IM SO SORRY:

Solas’s outfit. What are the green things he wears?? Stockings?? Leggings?? Pants??? I’m talking about the beige sweater with the wolf jaw necklace. His like casual outfit, you know???

I’m writing a different fic, literally so sad and in character depth for my lavellan, and I have to describe his outfit and I am STRUGGLING.

[the-lavender-clown]

My brain: here’s more new lore for your tmnt fan iteration

Me: oh thank you! This is amazing!! What are we gonna do with Splinter tho?

My brain: beats me

[c-119]

Okay, so because of the most recent inbox, I decided to make a semi-accurate size chart of the crew 👍

So, the aerial folk:

Then, the team + the average catalina, to put the latest inbox into perspective:

And a space for y’all to doodle your own little fellas :]

Lmk if any of this is inaccurate and I’ll switch it up 👍

[yeetlegay]

Reminder that a) a celebrity’s sexuality is none of your fucking business, b) real people cannot queerbait, and c) if you demand celebrities come out, thereby actively risking their safety, in order to play queer roles, you are in fact a homophobic piece of shit full stop