#I can’t remember how much you have to censor to keep things out of tags

[aureutr]

The more I run into it, the more D1nc0bb has shifted from “not my jam” to a full-on NOTP. I can see exactly two things about it that might make it appealing:

1) Pedro and Timothy are both attractive

2) Cowboys

And if that’s what does it for you, then that’s great! Legitimately, I’m happy for you. But under the cut I’m going to rant about why it’s not for me.

But there’s no narrative cohesion. They don’t make sense together as longterm partners. Hookups, sure, but nothing more. I’ll ignore modern AU because anything goes there, but in GFFA (my strong preference)?

C0bb has people he’s responsible for, and there is no way in hell he would leave them. And after how hard they fought for the land they’re on? No way is Freetown pulling up stakes. You could maybe write a Tusken landback story but even then, they have decent relations with the tribe nearest them now.

That means that C0bb joining D1n on Mandalore or jetting around the galaxy doesn’t make any sense.

Similarly, D1n is either going to throw himself back into bounty hunting, unite Mandalore, or straight up die. Or some combination thereof. Even if he settles down somewhere quiet, it’s going to be somewhere Grogu would be comfortable. I.e., not Tatooine. Their possible longterm goals alone keep them far apart.

And I know that canon is a sandbox and you can throw out anything you dislike, but at a certain point it’s not interesting anymore? Like, I’m down for alternate character interpretations but it’s gotta be something like “let’s change this one component of their backstory or single element of their character, then what?” not “let’s ignore 100% of their characterization and motivations.”

I don’t see the point in shipping when you get to that point. If you strip too much away, you could put any cookie cutter version of any character into your story. I make jokes about “slamming Barbie dolls together” but I guess I do have a limit!

Like, I came back to fandom after years and years because I stumbled across Dinluke and went “!!! The parallels! The potential! Starcrossed lovers??” There are options and so many of them make sense or need very little massaging to get there. Also I like Luke best, hee.

I don’t dislike C0bb, I just don’t like him for D1n. Now, Boba? THAT makes sense and has some fascinating narrative potential. Tension between daimyo and Freetown? Third party throwing hydrospanner in the works? Tense negotiations that end with falling into bed? Possible Bobafenc0bb? Hell yeah, that’s got some meat.

But every time I look at D1nc0bb I go

[queenshelby]

The Last Semester – Part 21

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 1,856

Warning: Pregnancy, Angst

A week had passed since Cillian found out about the pregnancy and he had been nothing but gentle, helpful and responsive since. Every day, he asked you how you were feeling. He brought you prenatal vitamins and constantly reminded you to drink enough water. He even risked a black eye on several occasions when running into your father who was struggling with the situation and has refused to speak to Cillian again. He was furious and blamed him for everything, thinking that he should have been the responsible adult.

You weren’t sure whether Cillian did all this simply for the fact that you were pregnant or whether he wanted to get back together with you and, whilst you hoped that the latter was true, you wouldn’t make it so easy for him this time around. He had to fight for you if you were what he wanted.

You loved him, but part of the trust you had built throughout your relationship had faded after he pulled away from you for the second time when he faced what you thought were just a few small hurdles. What you didn’t know was that, in fact, the hurdles he was facing, weren’t so small at all. He was deeply conflicted and being with you could cost him much more than his friendship with your father. It could also cost him his career and this was something he began to slowly realise.

***

It was a Sunday afternoon and Cillian was waiting for Nadine, his ex-wife, to pick up the boys from his home.

As usual, she was late and his sons were getting frustrated having to wait around for her once again.

‘This sucks dad’ Charlie growled, causing Cillian to calm him down whilst, deep down inside, he hoped that Nadine would arrive soon as he had invited you over for dinner that evening and, the last thing he wanted, was having you and Nadine in the same room together

Until recently, Nadine had again broken court orders, withholding contact to the boys on several occasions. If it wasn’t for the fact that Charlie had his own mobile phone, Cillian wouldn’t have been able to communicate with them at all for weeks.

It was like a game to her. Whenever Cillian was even remotely happy with someone else, she would come out to play and he soon regretted having given her another chance earlier that year before he took the teaching position in London.

When she found out about you, all hell broke loose. She felt humiliated and embarrassed especially knowing that her attempts to get him back were futile.

And the worst of it all was that she knew about you for a very long time, using you as leverage against Cillian until he finally gave up and let you go.

It was that night, when he called you, breaking up with you when he found out that you were his friend’s daughter, that he slipped. He slipped with Nadine because she was there to pick up the pieces when he was at his worst.

Whilst this little hiccup didn’t result in anything more than a few kisses, it was a mistake and he knew that it was a mistake. The worst of it all was that it gave Nadine hope in a situation where there was none. After all, he loved you and not her.

Of course, Nadine was willing and able to use this against Cillian. She had already threatened him on many occasions to make public the many façades of their marriage and how he chose a young girl over the mother of his children.

This was exactly what his agent was worried about. He knew Nadine for many years and he knew about the skeletons in Cillian’s closet and, whilst there weren’t many, they could become quite scandalous.

Being with you and loving you was too difficult. It was an against all the odds type of situation. A twenty-year age gap was hardly going to be successful. Was he going to risk everything to simply give it a try?

***

Finally, at 6 o’clock, Nadine’s car pulled up in Cillian’s driveway and she quickly jumped out of her seat and ran towards the front door.

‘I am sorry I am late. I got caught up with a friend’ she said in a haste.

‘You could have called’ Cillian then said before allowing her inside.

‘Why, do you have a date?’ she then chuckled, causing Cillian to sigh and call out for the boys.

Just as they emerged from their bedrooms, you also pulled up in the driveway and Cillian immediately knew that this would be problematic.

You noticed Nadine’s car but walked towards the front door of the house anyway and Cillian was quick to let you in after giving you a polite kiss on your cheek.

‘Hey’ you said, greeting Nadine who didn’t bother to say anything to you but, instead, roll her eyes.

‘What is she doing here?’ Nadine then asked Cillian, ignoring your presence.

‘I invited her. Why?’ Cillian asked somewhat annoyed and Nadine immediately huffed in disapproval.

‘I don’t want her to spend time with my children. It sends the wrong message to them’ Nadine explained.

‘And what message may that be Nadine?’ Cillian asked rather irritated before Nadine escalated the situation and, once again, insulted you.

‘You think it’s a good idea to show the boys that this is ok? Being with someone that much younger who clearly isn’t compatible in any sort of way?’ Nadine then said before Cillian told the boys to wait in the car as he didn’t want them to hear the conversation between him and their mother.

‘Can you not do this in front of the children?’ Cillian asked angrily after the boys left with their Gameboys.

‘Do what? You are the one who is fucking a uni student, not me’ she then shouted and it soon became too much for you to listen to.

‘Hey, listen, I am going to go. This is awkward and I don’t want to be in the way, really’ you then said, feeling uncomfortable.

‘Wait on Sweetie. I am not finished’ Nadine said and you turned around at the door, rolling your eyes at her as you did.

‘Did he tell you that, when he visited Dublin a few months ago, he spent time with me? Just the two of us?’ Nadine then asked before telling you how she was very well aware of Cillian’s needs and that you were likely too young and inexperienced for him and he would have realised this by now.

‘Nadine, that’s enough!’ Cillian growled, interrupting Nadine as she went on.

‘I am going’ you then huffed out, irritated and upset. She was taking it too far and you didn’t need this in your life.

‘Y/N, hold on’ Cillian said, trying to hold you back but you shook your head and left. You didn’t want to deal with this.

‘Just remember what I have against you Cillian. Surely, if this becomes public, Y/N might get some ideas. Poor thing, so young and innocent. Also, the boys are staying with me for the next two weeks’ Nadine chuckled somewhat amused.

‘Fuck this, Nadine. I have had enough of this crap. Fucking do it, eh! Send it to the fucking paper just as you have threatened for years. I no longer give a shit and in so far as the boys are concerned, I will be in contact with my lawyer tomorrow. A fit and proper person doesn’t use their children as leverage. Fucking wake up, would you’ Cillian growled before storming outside with the boys’ backpacks and putting them into Nadine’s car before giving each of them a hug and saying goodbye to them.

‘Love you guys, see you on Wednesday’ he said with a warm smile before getting into his own car with the view to drive after you to apologise about Nadine’s behaviour and having you get caught up in this.

***

As expected, just before Cillian arrived at your house, he received a call from his agent Brian who was clearly upset and annoyed.

‘We have a problem Cillian’ he said with an almost terrified voice.

‘I know. Her name is Nadine’ Cillian chuckled.

‘I have seen it. Just then. She sent it to me via email’ Brian said concerned.

‘Did you enjoy it?’ Cillian laughed.

‘You need to take this seriously Cillian. Nadine also told me that you are back with the girl’ Brian then said.

‘She held this against me for fucking years and I played along for the boys’ sake, but I can’t keep going like this’ Cillian then explained, causing Brian to sigh.

‘This and the fact that you are with a 20 fucking something year old who also happens to be your friend’s daughter is a fucking disaster mate. You need to break it off’ Brian argued.

‘She is pregnant’ Cillian then said, knowing that this would annoy Brian even more.

‘You are fucking kidding me. Fuck mate. For your career’s sake you need end it with this girl quietly, pay her, get her to sign an NDA’ Brian explained.

‘No Brian, I won’t be doing any of these things. Let me tell you something. I married Nadine because she was pregnant with Charlie. I never loved her. I simply did what others told me was the right fucking thing to do. This is probably why our relationship was so messed up. I was about to do this again, listening to what others tell me is right or wrong and what is good for me. Listening to you, to Nadine, John and my mother. But, luckily, this time, I just came to my fucking senses’ Cillian said just before he pulled up in front of your apartment building.

‘She is twenty years younger than you, what do you think will happen in twenty years? Will she still be around? Will she be worth all this?’ Brian then asked somewhat upset.  

‘I don’t know, but I am keen to find out’ Cillian said as turned off the car.

‘This could be career suicide Cillian’ Brian said.

‘Perhaps. So, I suggest that you work hard for your commission while you still can and use these connections of yours to make publication of what Nadine has sent you hurt as little as possible’ Cillian chuckled.

‘It’s a sex tape Cillian. What the fuck do you want me to do about it? Censor it?’ Brian asked.

‘If you do, keep the good parts, eh? I need to go’ Cillian said.

 Tag List:

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[sapiowoman28]

I can, I can't: Part 2 of 3

Pairing: Jaemin x female reader

Genre: smut, fluff, friends to lovers au

Warning: smut, flirting, spanking, male dom, female bratty sub

Tags: @nctlover94 @m1ss-foodi3 @heyyyun

The days that followed were hard. It was as if something had taken over Y/N, and she was perpetually horny, not from anything but from her thoughts of Jaemin doing things to her. Lucas was happy to help, but after 3 days of meeting, he was puzzled.

"You're never like this. What happened?" he asked, as they were soaking in the bathtub post sex.

Y/N wasn't sure if she should tell him. It wouldn't be nice.

"I don't know..." she lied. "I wish it'd stop. I need to focus on my assignments."

"About that, I can't meet you any more this week. I have 3 due next week and i haven't started on aything." Lucas looked regretful.

"It's ok, Lucas, we both need to finish our assignments"

She decided she'd focus on her assignments instead, and work on them in the library - where the wifi was pretty good - instead of home so she wouldn't have to face Jaemin. Not until she was sure about what she wanted to do.

So day by day, she left the house early and returned late. The boys texted her as usual, and she replied. But with Jaemin, she was reticent. Instead of her usual teasing, she provided one or two word replies. She was afraid she'd attempt to flirt with him and things would go overboard.

The good part was she made pretty good progress on her assigments. They were her best yet this year, and she was pleased. She was working through the conclusion to one of her papers when she was interrupted.

"Hey!"

She froze, looking up. Jaemin, sitting down on the seat opposite hers.

"Hey Jae." she smiled. "Lost?"

"I study, ok? he threw his hands up. Then proceeded to unzip his laptop bag.

"What are you doing here?" she watched him suspiciously. Neither Jaemin nor Jeno were library people.

"I've an assignment to complete. And I haven't seen you for days. I just wanted to know you were ok. You haven't been very normal."

"Speak for yourself. Any updates on your turbulent sex life?" she grinned, inwardly proud at how she deflected his question.

"I got my ID back. Told him i could report him for assault AND retaining my ID. You should have seen his face." he said proudly.

"Told you you'd be fine standing up to him. He had no right to hit you," she giggled.

"Thanks." he said, reaching across the table to rub her arm affectionately. She flinched. She wished her friends weren't so touchy with one another sometimes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm not in a mood to be touched." she said awkwardly. "I'm going through a phase."

"Ok. I won't touch you then" he shrugged and started getting to work on his assignment.

Y/N looked at him. He was beautiful, she thought. The lashes. The way he concentrated. Or when he frowned to himself. No wonder he was known as the handsome one.

it was hard to focus with Jaemin sitting opposite her. Her previous momentum was lost. She wished he hadn't come. But she told herself she wasn't going to let her assignment be affected. So she struggled through the conclusion and soon managed to complete her assignment.

"If you give me 15 minutes, we can go for lunch after that." he said, not looking up. She agreed, looking at the surrounding tables. She saw Renjun a few tables away with a girl. Their eyes met. He waved. She raised her eyebrows and he faked an annoyed look before turning back his attention on the girl.

"Someone's getting lucky soon." Y/N commented.

"Who?" Jaemin asked still focussed on his laptop.

"Renjun."

"Oh. It's not going to work. She has a boyfriend."

"They can still fuck."

"Are you aerious?" Jaemin looked up half amused.

"She's not married." she shrugged. "You need to loosen up."

"You have no morals." he declared.

"I'm proud of that." she winked. "Seriously, you need to try living life on the edge a little."

"Getting caught in bed and getting beaten up not wild enough for you?"

"Well, it depends. Were you handcuffed?"

Jaemin gasped. "Censor yourself, Y/N!"

"Or was she? What position were you guys caught in?" she knew she had crossed a line but somehow couldn't stop herself.

"Y/N!"

"Yes, Mr Na?"

Jaemin brought his face close to hers.

"I said stop it." he said, voice low and gravelly. Y/N felt herself pool.

"What if i don't?" she challenged him, looking him straight in the eye.

"I suggest you don't challenge me." he said through gritted teeth.

"I'll think about it." She said. folding her ams in front of her, eyes twinkling.

"Yo! What's Jaemin doing here?" Haechan asked as he plonked down on the chair next to hers.

Jaemin leaned back and relaxed, breaking into a smile.

"Y/N thinks I'm lost."

"You ARE lost." Y/N laughed, looking at Jaemin who was still keeping his composure. "Someone needs to guide you back onto the right path."

"I don't know. Being guided isn't my kind of thing. I prefer to be the one guiding."

"Now I'm lost!" Haechan whined. "What's happening?"

Y/N sighed.

"Let's go for lunch." she said.

Things got worse from there. Jaemin began avoiding her, staying cooped up in his room as much as he could, spending time either doing his assignments or gaming. Y/N was upset, though she wasn't sure if she was upset with herself or with him.

All she knew was things were awkward now. She tried texting him but he either didn't reply or replied with one word answers. She had to do something. There wasn't much opportunity though, since there never seemed a time where they were both home alone. And the last thing she wanted was for the rest of the guys to get involved.

Then one night two weeks later, all the boys decided to head out to the clubs to party to celebrate the submission of all their assignments. Y/N gave it a pass. She wasn't one for clubs - the loud music and the lights and the smells always gave her a headache. She had previously tried of course, but it mostly turned out unpleasant for her - the same throbbing headache that progressively got worse over the course of the night and made her feel sick.

So the guys headed out and she decided to soak in the bathtub in the bigger bathroom. She dropped her favourite vanilla scented bath bomb into the warm water, and got it after removing her clothes and giving the water a few swishes. This was the life, she thought. Who wanted to be stuck in some club against sweaty bodies and wake up with a hangover the next day?

After her bath, she took time to put on a mask and applied lotion to her body. She was glad all her assignments had been submitted, and this was a good time to pamper herself after all the hard work.

When she was done, she put on an oversized t-shirt that came down to her mid thigh and wore her favourite red cotton underwear. Feeling upbeat, she headed to the kitchen to make some pasta. It was just 9pm when the front door opened. She looked up from the ham she was slicing.

Jaemin. She forgot he had not gone with them. In fact, he had been out most of the day, probably at the cafe he worked at on some weekends.

"Need dinner?" she asked, somewhat unsure if he would respond. "I'm making some pasta."

"Dinner would be good," he nodded with a slight smile. "I can open a bottle of wine after i have my shower." He knew he just had to stop behaving like a dick now.

She grinned. "Yes please!"

He went and took a quick shower before coming back, smelling fresh.

"The bathroom smells nice." he said, sniffing. "Actually you smell nice too."

"Jaemin! At least say the food I'm making smells nice!" Y/N poked his arm. He embraced her from the back.

"I missed you." he said.

She felt his chest against her back.

"Missed you too. Why were you avoiding me?" she asked.

"Why were YOU avoiding me?" he asked her back.

Neither of them said anything.

She took the pan off the stove and divided the pasta into two bowls. Jaemin opened the wine and they both sat at the dining table for dinner. The air was tense as they ate silently.

"Jae," she said, not being able to take the silence any longer. "I know i shouldn't have ignored you. But I've been struggling."

He put his fork down. He tried to grab her hand but she pulled it away nervously.

"I'm listening, Y/N," he said gently.

"I can't stop thinking of yo...."

But she couldn't finish, as he grabbed her face and brought it closer to his. She felt her heart beat faster as he looked her in the eye.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, looking at her in the eye, his face tensed up, his voice low and trembling. "Do you know what you're doing to me?"

"I know I'm probably not your type...." she began but he cut her off.

"Don't speak for me, Y/N. Everything about you drives me nuts! Your laughter, the way you tease me. Everything! You're such a bad girl, Y/N!"

"I've never said I was good. I don't have morals, remember?" she grinned. "Maybe you'd have to teach me how to behave, Mr Na."

He felt his cock twitch. He grabbed her by the arm.

"What are you doing?" she asked, struggling as he stood up, taking her with him. Roughly, he pushed her against the kitchen cabinet.

"Bend over!" he demanded, grip getting tighter. She had no choice but to comply, yelping as she felt his hand land hard on her butt.

"Ouch! What the hell, Jaemin?"

"You deserve to be spanked for taunting me in the library." he said through gritted teeth, landing another smack. She gasped.

"That hurts!"

"Good! Maybe next time you wouldn't think of being such a tease." he said, giving her yet another smack. "3! We're going to 10!"

"!0?!" she tried to wriggle out of his grip. It was no use.

"4!" he said, landing yet another slap. She bit her lip. It was hurting more and more as the number of spanks progressed. But she didn't dislike it.

"5!" she felt her eyes watering. This was getting too painful.

"6!"

"Jae, please, it hurts!"

"Say one more word and I'll make it 20!" he warned.

She gave up, whimpering as he gave her another 4 blows, tears rolling down her face. Finally he let her go. She turned around and shoved him.

"Do that one more time and watch what i'll do!" she warned. He grabbed her by the back of her neck, forcing her to look closely at him again.

"You need to get one thing right," he hissed, as he wiped her tears away with his fingers. "I'm the one in charge here."

"Oh yeah?" she challenged him. "We'll see about that."

"Listen, you're not in a position to argue with me. Do you want me to fuck you or not?" he asked. "Yes or no?"

Silence. She glared at him.

"Answer me." he said, glaring back.

"Fine." she said. "We'll play by your rules."

He let go, suddenly going back to his usual self. "The food's getting cold. Let's eat."

"No, Jae...." she pleaded. "Fuck me, now, please!"

"I'm not fucking you tonight, Y/N."

"Nobody's home now!"

"I'll decide and let you know when I'm ready," he said firmly.

She reaiised that she had to be fair and wait for him to be ready. She sighed.

"Fine." she said.

If only he knew how wet she was, from the spanking he gave her, she thought to herself.

[writerscornercafe]

A Follow Up Discussion

Good morning everyone! We had a few questions regarding the channels and their purposes after our announcement so we thought we would clarify some more and pin this comment. 

 #general-chat is for anything and everything your heart desires. This could be one direction and writing related but it doesn’t have to be. Keep in mind that if you are going to talk about something that could be deemed a sensitive topic use the spoiler action or start the conversation in the #sensitive-topic channel

Example: Talking about a fic you read that has abuse in it, use spoiler action. Talking about gun laws would be a topic for the #sensitive-topic channel

If you are planning on writing soon (this could mean Louis Tomlinson soon or actually soon) you can use the #general-chat or #real-time-writing.

Let’s say you are going to write five hours from now, feel free to give a heads up in the #general-chat. If you give a time, it should activate the friend time bot and people can see what time that would mean for them.

If you are writing in one minute or even five minutes, feel free to give a heads up in the #real-time-writing channel.

Censoring/Using the spoiler action: Sometimes we will use the spoiler action to block out an entire conversation. I know for me personally sometimes I do this as a way to let the person know I’m about to say something they don’t like so beware (I’m looking at myself when I’m about to tell Beca my opinion on food or a Marvel movie lol) But that isn’t helpful, is it? I would like us to try and be more cautious of how we are using the spoiler action and try to avoid using it as a way to block out an entire conversation. If you share a snippet and there are mentions that could be triggering before you share it please state: Mentions of ____ and include the triggering content. Think of what you would tag on ao3 or Tumblr and use discretion. This is also a helpful article that talks about triggers and a common list that you can reference if you are unsure. 

Thanks to Laur for the suggestion to organize our categories, Beca has done so! On the left, you will see Information, Writing & Such and Fandom & Random. Hopefully, the more organized categories can give you an idea of where to host your conversation. If you are unsure, ask!!! You can ask publicly or privately. 

Let’s talk threads! Discord allows two types of threads: public and private. 

Public threads are a great resource to use if a group of people are chatting in #real-time-writing as we are trying to limit the amount of side conversations happening in that channel. As these are public, remember to use the spoiler action when discussing sensitive topics. 

Due to the level our server is at, we are not able to use Private Threads. (To boost the level of the server, we must pay as it’s a Nitro feature, which is also paid. Beca boosted the channel once, but if she wants to boost it again to go to level 2, she has to pay again because it’s a paid feature in Nitro). Private threads could be used when discussing spoilers for a fic you are working on or spoilers for a tv show a few people are watching at once. We encourage you to reach out to people via DMs!

An example of creating a group DM: a few of us play Animal Crossing and since I knew that could clog the #general-chat and we can’t use private threads, I created a group chat to discuss all things Animal Crossing. (And a reminder, to create this private group chat, you have to add the person as a friend.) If you want to send the same message to different people at the same time it’s also impossible. You need to add the users as friends. (It’s a discord feature so there isn’t much we can help with it.)

Onto DMs, they are a great way to check in with each other about literally anything! Helping beta, asking how their fic is coming along, or being their accountability partner. You could also move the conversation to Tumblr, seeing as how we all have our URLs easily accessible if you don’t want to DM someone on discord. Private messaging isn’t necessary, it’s just an option.

It has also been brought to our attention that there have been a few conversations and comments that have made some people uncomfortable. We once spoke briefly about it in #general-chat in the hopes that people would read it and keep that in mind, but we feel an official statement is best. Beca and I let a few things slip through the cracks which is not okay and we apologize for not doing something about it the moment it happened. Going forward we are going to try to keep a more watchful eye on conversations happening on most of the channels- I say most because I cannot look at my policeman channel due to my own issues. That being said, if you see something, say something. Especially seeing as how there are time zone differences and we can’t catch things happening when we are sleeping. The best part of having Beca is that we are a team and we can discuss together who takes care of what issue that way we are both taking care of ourselves and all of you. We are asking for your help in keeping this safe because there is a chance we will miss something. If you don’t say anything we can’t help you or do anything to keep the server a safe space for everyone- which is one of our goals.

We love getting to know each other and talking about other music or movies or more personal matters like our health or tattoos. Discussions about those things are okay and encouraged. Discussions about the boys’ music and what concerts people get to attend is okay. Talking about their upcoming projects is okay.

What we will not be allowing anymore is discussions about Harry or Louis’ public relationships- really any of the boys but seeing as how Harry and Louis’ public relationships are more prominent that is what is talked about most. This topic is off-limits on all of the channels. Any type of misogyny, violence or more “heated” comments will result in a warning via DMs. If you proceed to make comments that go against this rule or our previous rules, you will be banned.

Please, keep in mind that we are not trying to prevent you from having conversations. It’s, in fact, the opposite. We are just trying to keep things organized so everyone can engage in conversations without feeling lost or uncomfortable.

As an aside, Beca and I are not fluent in discord and all that it entails- hence the hiccups. We are new to owning a server which is why we value your input and patience as we navigate this. We have been planning to do an audit for months and have been keeping track of things to discuss. This is something we’ll be doing periodically and we will always keep you updated, that is why it’s also very important you give us your opinions, suggestions, complaints or anything you feel it’s worth sharing. You guys are awesome and no one is in trouble! Thank you so much for everything so far!

[neo-culture-taste]

Subscribe! - I Can’t Stop Kissing You

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader (fem)

Genre: AU, romance, comedy, fluff

Word count: 2981

Summary: A YouTube inspired drabble series where you and your boyfriend upload videos catering to the couple tag.

Author’s Note: Inspiration finally struck! Please enjoy, lemme me know what you think, and please pass some motivation along so we can get these other fics out, lol. Yours truly, C.

For other members, see masterlist.

"Hi everyone!" you whispered excitedly at the camera. "And welcome back to my channel! I have to whisper because Jaehyun is downstairs and I don’t want him to hear my intro," you explained before turning the camera around and pointing it down your staircase towards your living room. Your boyfriend was facing away from you on the couch and you zoomed in on the back of his luscious head of hair before you tiptoed back into your bedroom. "Anyway," you continued to whisper, "today is a special day! Why is it special you may ask? Well it’s because I'm going to be doing yet another--," you paused for dramatic effect and took a moment to bring your face close to the lens so your lips took up most of the frame, "--PRANK.” You pulled away from the camera and shook your head in offense at how much that last word hurt while whispering. “Hold on. Let me move again.”

You moved to sit on the floor inside your closet. But it wasn't that big, so you ended up trapped in a corner with some of the clothes you had hanging up dangling in your face. “So many of you have requested that I do the 'I can’t stop kissing you prank' and I figured now would be the perfect opportunity since Jaehyun has come to visit me for the weekend.” A sound bite of applause and cheers played as clapping hands emojis appeared on the screen with a burst of confetti. “I’ve already set up the camera downstairs and it’s currently recording Jaehyun playing Mario Kart. His favorite game these days. Well, his only favorite game because that’s all he ever plays.” You rolled your eyes dramatically with the matching emoji appearing next to your head. “And we have a special treat! You remember our close friend Yuta from my vlogs, right?” Just then the thirst-trappiest picture of Yuta you could find on his Instagram popped up in the corner of the screen. “Well, he’ll be calling during the middle of the prank to ask Jaehyun something complicated whilst I slobber him down.” You rapidly flicked your tongue between your lips as if you were a lizard and accentuated the sound it made. “It’s going to be great!” In your excitement you raised up your arm and accidentally hit the stack of shoe boxes next to you, causing one of them to come tumbling down with a loud thump on your head and then one on the floor. “Shit, ow!” you cursed under your breath.

“Babe?” Your boyfriend called to you from downstairs. The audio of his voice was low, therefore subtitles were placed onto the screen whenever he spoke. “Is that you?”

“Yeah!” you answered him while making a nervous face at the camera. “I’m just changing clothes!”

“Oh, okay--MOVE PEACH!”

You rolled your eyes again and exaggerated the deep breath you took before addressing the audience one last time. “Let’s start this prank before he comes up here to check on me.”

With an old school static transition, the video cut to a front view of Jaehyun sitting on the couch with you descending the staircase in the distance behind him before coming into full view of the camera. You sat down on the couch next to Jaehyun and wrapped your arms around his neck, startling both him and your puppy who was laying between you, and who seemed to forget your existence whenever Jaehyun visited. 

“Oh, hey babe. How was your nap?” he said, pausing the game to fully greet you.

“It was alright. I woke up because you weren’t lying next to me anymore.” Ew! How were you able to say that with a straight face?! It had always amazed you how sappy you got when the two of you were together. You forced a pout onto your lips before hugging his upper body and moving your face to the crook of his neck to plant a soft kiss onto his exposed collarbone. He smelled like peppermint mixed with his unique man musk. 

“I almost woke you up,” he said as he let you kiss your way up from the base of his neck to just below his ear. 

“Oh, really. Why?” you said against his skin before nipping at the bottom of his earlobe.

“Because I missed having you next to me, too.”

You jerked your head back to look at him in mock disgust. “Jaehyun, you’re so freaking cheesy,” you said then went back to his neck and placed a loud wet kiss against his Adam's apple. “I appreciate the sentiment, but it just sounds so icky coming from you.” It was one thing when you did it, but when he did it it made your insides all gooey and gross. You hated that you loved it.

“But it's true.” He grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger and tilted your head backwards, allowing himself easy access to your lips. He gently pecked your lips and you revelled in the soft plumpness of his moisturized skin cells. He moved his hand to grab the side of your face to steady you as he deepened the kiss and his tongue swept across your lips, asking for permission to enter. But as soon as your tongues connected, your dog whined and climbed onto Jaehyun's lap, feeling left out from the attention, and thus breaking yours. 

Now that you had planted the initial kissing seed, it was time to move into phase two of your prank. “Do you want a snack, babe?” you asked him and stood up from the couch.

“Sure. Surprise me.”

Having previously set up the camera, the video cut to you walking into the kitchen, then to you opening the freezer, and then to you popping a plate of pizza rolls into the microwave. While they were heating, you walked over to the camera and pulled out your phone to send a quick text to Yuta telling him to commence the next part of your plan. When finished, you held up your phone to the camera and showed the exchange between you and your friend.

You: It’s your time to shine. 15 minutes.

Sir Yuta: I forgot I had to do this. Umm lemme search the internet and find something to call him about lmaooo

You: 🤦‍♀️

The video cut again to you placing the plate of pizza rolls and two bottled waters on the coffee table in front of Jaehyun right when he let out a shout of victory as his Metal Mario crossed the finish line in first place. 

“What cup was that?” you asked him, pretending to be interested.

“Flower cup, 200cc,” he said as he reached for a pizza roll without looking and ended up burning his finger on the hot snack. “Ow! It’s hot!”

“You knew that before you picked it up!”

Affronted by the pizza rolls, he grabbed one of the bottles of water and took a sip before returning his eyes to the screen. “Do you want to play?”

“Nope. I’ll just watch you play.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep!”

You watched him customize his kart with some of the new items he had just unlocked before he selected a different cup to play. When the opening sequence of the first race began to play, you repositioned yourself on your knees on the couch cushion next to him and planted a kiss directly on his lips. You felt Jaehyun hum against your lips in satisfaction as he returned the kiss, but when he heard the countdown for the start of the race he quickly pulled back and moved his head to look around you at the TV.

But of course, that didn’t stop you. You forcefully grabbed him by his head and began kissing the spot just below his jaw that you knew drove him crazy. It was a relentless onslaught of teeth, tongue, and lips all at a slow, teasing, and torturous pace.

Believing that Jaehyun was already feeling totally affected, it was confirmed by the absence of noisy cartoon chaos from the race right before Jaehyun ripped you from his neck to counter your attack by shoving his tongue down your throat. The kiss was so heated the two of you had to be censored on the screen by a big blushing emoji. The video quickly cut to the end of the kiss, which lasted way longer than you had anticipated, to where Jaehyun was gently pushing you away from him. “Lemme finish this race and then we can make out or whatever afterwards.”

“Okay,” you agreed happily then popped a (now cold) pizza roll into your mouth.

You allowed him to play through a full race before you resumed your kisses, this time foregoing his neck to smooch him on his cheeks, nose, and anywhere else there was skin available on his face. You obviously prevented Jaehyun from seeing the TV screen and he quickly paused his game before he lost his first-place spot at the beginning of the second race. 

“Did you dream about me?” he asked you dumbfounded but still bearing a smile on his face. “Did I promise you all these kisses in the dream?”

You planted a kiss on each of his eyelids before shaking your head and looking him in his eyes. “I just love you.”

“I love you, too. But--”

You didn’t let him finish talking as you threw your leg over his lap to straddle his waist. You proceeded to kiss him hungrily on his lips, your tongues doing a dance once again as he kissed you back with gusto. You were overcome with a sense of satisfaction when you felt the thud of the pro controller hit the couch next to you (in which the video zoomed in on it as it was falling) and then both his arms wrapped around your waist. 

You revelled in his kisses, thankful that you had a boyfriend with soft, pillowy lips whose kisses you could get lost in for days if allowed. You were so into the makeout session that you forgot you were filming a video and the scene had to be censored once again with another big emoji and quickly cut to the next clip. Luckily, before the two of you got too crazy, Jaehyun’s phone began to ring with Yuta’s name lighting up the top of its screen.

“Noo, baby. Don’t answer it. Kiss me instead,” you genuinely whined for him to keep going. Yuta was a part of your plan but now you just wanted his attention to remain on you. 

Jaehyun removed your hand from his face and picked up his phone off the arm of the couch. “Hold on. It’s Yuta. Let me get rid of him, first.” You pouted at him as he swiped his thumb across the screen to answer the call. “Hey Yuta. I’m kind of in the middle—" You don’t know what was said exactly but you were able to hear Yuta’s tiny hysterics through the small phone speaker. “Wait slow down? When did you get a hamster?” asked Jaehyun in confused concern.

Was that really the best Yuta could come up with???

“Y/N is here, too. Let me put you on speaker.” He did so and held the phone next to your heads. “Okay, start from the beginning.”

Since Yuta’s story was bound to be dumb, you decided to up the hotness on your kissing. You grabbed Jaehyun's face with one hand and planted a kiss on his lips slightly less aggressively than the ones prior, but still pretty roughly.

Yuta’s words appeared as subtitles at the bottom of the screen since the camera’s mic couldn’t pick up his voice that well from the phone’s speaker. “I purchased a hamster the other day from the pet store down the street from my house. His name is Hamster--“ 

“Ow!” Jaehyun pulled you from his lips and gave you a displeased look. You had accidentally bitten his lips a bit too hard as a reaction to Yuta’s dumbass statement. You mouthed an apology to him before returning to nibble on his ear.

“Is everything okay?” asked Yuta.

“Yeah, keep going.” 

“Gladly.” You replied before sticking your tongue in his ear, causing him to flinch violently away from you in protest.

“Ew! Not you!” Jaehyun whispered harshly as he tried to wipe the inside of his ear with his shirt.

“Well, I was cleaning out his cage, but I think I forgot to secure him in his temporary cage and now he’s disappeared! I’m afraid to walk anywhere, so I need you to come over and help me find Hamster.”

“Umm, can’t you call Johnny or Taeyong or--” You started playing kiss tic tac toe with Jaehyun’s forehead.

“They didn’t answer their phones. Trust me you weren’t my first choice,” Yuta said flatly as if he was actually disappointed that he had to call Jaehyun for help.

You couldn’t help but laugh, and now you were trying to locate another PG-rated place to kiss Jaehyun.

“Yeah, I’ll come over.”

“Cool. Y/N can come too after she stops trying to suck your face. Y’all are gross.”

Jaehyun’s brows knit together in confusion. “How did you--” he began to ask, but you snatched his phone from his hand before he could finish his question.

“BYE, YUTA.” You hung up the call and tossed your boyfriend’s phone on the other side of the couch. “Now, where were we?” You leaned in to continue kissing him, but he dodged your lips by turning his face away from you. Your kiss landed on the side of his jaw instead.

“Hey, cool it, babe. Lemme finish this race and we can go to Yuta’s to help him find his hamster.” Obviously, Yuta’s lost (made up) pet wasn’t more important than finishing first place in the special cup on 200cc. He was just so competitive.

You grabbed his arms to thwart his attempts at resuming the game but he was quicker as he threw the controller down his shirt before grabbing your legs and gently tossing you on the other side of the couch. 

“Jaehyun!”

“Y/N!”

You turned your head and the video zoomed in on your eyes as you narrowed them at the camera before launching yet another kissing attack on Jaehyun. In doing so you knocked over two of the pizza rolls and the bottled waters while Metal Mario got hit with three red koopa shells in row.

“Babe, alright! Enough!”

Jaehyun never was one to get this perturbed, so seeing his distress was something new for you. He grabbed you by your thighs before standing up and hoisting you over his shoulders. “Let me give you what you want.”

“Wait no! Jae, stop! STOP! It’s a prank!” you yelled as you flailed helplessly in his grip.

“You can’t back out now--“

“No! Look behind the switch!”

“What?” He turned around completely to walk towards the camera, your butt now on full view as your front side faced the couch. He found the camera hidden behind the game console and picked it up while he lowered you back to your feet. He stared blankly into the lens as he tried to comprehend what had just happened between the two of you.

You swiped the camera from his hands and smiled triumphantly into the lens. “Hey, again everyone! I hope you enjoyed seeing Jaehyun lose his cool and literally THROW ME.”

Your boyfriend stood behind you, still void of emotion and staring into the camera. “You kissed me for a prank? And not because you wanted to?” Aw, no! Why did he sound so dejected?!

“Wait, no! I wanted to but...yeah?”

“I’m hurt.” He said while clutching his chest. Nooooooooo! A bunch of crying faced and heartbroken emojis appear sporadically on the screen.

“Why are you hurt? I was being annoying!”

“Yeah, but I was still into it.”

“We can continue what I started if you want to, babe.” Holding the camera with one hand, you reached out to him with the other to give him a one-armed hug, in which he returned unconsciously.

“No. I’m over it. Let’s go help Yuta.” You smiled at him mischievously and then looked back at the camera. “What?”

“That was part of the prank, too. Yuta was in on it. He doesn’t have a hamster.”

Jaehyun looked at the camera, then at you, and then back at the camera before walking away from you and sitting back on the couch. “I’ve been tricked,” he said absolutely flabbergasted.

You followed him to the couch with the camera and sat beside him, then linked your free arm with his. “Well, that’s it for today! Thanks for watching! I’m going to reheat our pizza rolls now and then I’ll kick his ass in Mario Kart.”

“You wish.”

“Give me a kiss, babe.” You puckered your lips for him, but Jaehyun had other plans of the revenge variety. He cornered you on the couch and put his big body on top of you as he placed sloppy wet kisses along your neck, causing you to shriek and drop the camera to the floor. The only thing visible on the screen was a slanted view of your puppy ripping apart one of his plush toys underneath the couch.

You giggled and squealed as your boyfriend prevented you from closing out your video in one of the most pleasant ways. You knew he didn’t plan on letting up on you anytime soon, so you had to manage. “Don’t forget to like and subscribe, and follow us on social media,” you began yelling from the top of the couch. “I put out a new video every week--Ah! Jae, wait!”

The scene cut out with another static transition and the video ended with the ‘no signal’ color bars accompanied by the notorious elongated beep.

- C

[zhansww]

I’ve been wondering how exactly the misunderstanding of my last rambling post came to be and I think it’s cuz of one of two things; cuz I didn’t make it clear what I consider the word “queer” to mean or cuz I didn’t make it clear that the post itself was my own, subjective opinion. I’m not sure how consistent I’ve been with tagging it but I kinda differentiate between (what I think are) rational opinions I have vs emotional ones. The latter ones are obviously subjective and should not be taken as me, lecturing anyone or implying that everyone should feel the same. You either share the same sentiment or you don’t, there’s nothing wrong with it either way. And if my words in those posts seem hostile/condescending, it’s cuz I don’t feel the need to censor any of my subjective views/feelings. What I do think is important and what I try to pay attention to is not to let the negative emotions that certain things evoke in me control my actions. When I see something that I disapprove of in any way, I don’t hijack that post or report it. If my emotional reaction is particular strong, I’ll vent about it in my own post, not theirs. I considered this to be the decent thing to do but I’ve been told by at least one kind, respectful and open-minded person that I am actively making people’s lives worse with those posts, that my words are violent and that my behavior is that of an “unhinged monster” (the irony here is not lost on me). So I’ve been reflecting and I think the next time I feel a particular strong, negative emotion that makes me want to vent, I’ll put a disclaimer beforehand. And now, let me just actually clarify what my point was of that post. I believe that yz is real so I obviously do not assume they are straight. If they are indeed together, then they are queer - i.e. not straight - but that’s literally it. I have no theories or thoughts about what their specific orientation might be and I won’t ever speculate about that either. I wouldn’t mind knowing but unfortunately, they can’t be openly together right now but when they someday are, they’ll hopefully also feel safe and loved enough to share something like that with us. I know for a fact that figuring out your sexuality is a confusing and intimate process which is why I am opposed to speculating about it. I consider it to be too intrusive. But again; that is my subjective opinion based on my own experiences. I do not expect everyone to share this sentiment. One person said that I should expect such speculation and that might be true, maybe I should expect it but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Seeing certain bxg get mad at solos for assuming yz are straight but then turn around and assume they are [insert any specific sexuality except het] is hypocritical and disappointing in my opinion. I think it’s perfectly fine to have such emotional opinions as long as you don’t let those emotions cloud your judgement and lead to you, reacting in a way that is unreasonable and possibly harmful. I also think that everyone should be willing to have their rational opinions questioned but when it comes to an emotional opinion, it doesn’t have to make sense and it’s probably not gonna change either. To give another example; I hk disapprove of yz r/p/f. And that’s not me, saying it is inherently wrong and that no one should do it. In fact, you could try to make a case about how I should like it and approve of it but it wouldn’t make me change my mind precisely because this opinion is not based on logic but just on emotion. And again, as long my emotional reaction to something doesn’t lead to unreasonable actions, then the emotion itself is alright to have. And like I already said, I thought it was okay to vent those emotions in my safe space but apparently, it isn’t. No one should take those posts personally or like I’m talking to them or lecturing them. I thought that this was all obvious but since I got told otherwise, I will be more concise from now on.

You know, when someone starts a “discussion” by insulting you (implicitly or not), that’s usually a clear sign that they’re not even trying to understand you. I’ve seen at least one person reblog the reblogs and seemingly take some kind of vicious pleasure in seeing someone else sh-t on me. Something like that leads me to think that they already had a negative impression of me to begin with which is why their minds gladly misunderstood me and jumped to the worst possible conclusion. They also all seemed to either ignore my explanations or seemed intent on misunderstanding me, no matter what. To be clear, I don’t blame them entirely for it because I could have expressed my point better but for them to immediately think their misunderstanding is the right one - instead of asking me to explain myself perhaps - is also wrong. Mind you, I don’t expect those people to see or care about this post. The main reason I’m trying to clarify myself is for myself. I said I’ll try to be more concise in expressing my views (regardless of whether it’s a subjective one or not) from now on and I thought I should let this be the start of that. There was one reply in particular that ... affected me a lot harder than I thought anything could. I think it’s cuz my depression already makes me feel like I’m a waste of space 24/7. One thing I take comfort in, though, is the fact that, at the very least, the only one who’s hurting because of it is me, no one else. At least I don’t hurt others. But I got told otherwise. I got called an unhinged monster. The unhinged part is true but also being a monster... it made me feel like I’m less than a waste of space. Like, let’s say if normal people always feel like a 1, I always feel like a 0. Getting insulted like that made me feel like a -1. Instead of feeling like a read newspaper, that’s just waiting to get thrown in the trash, that insult made me feel like I’m the asbestos in the house, something that is actively harmful and you need to get rid of. Does that make sense? Anyway... I engaged in “discussions” despite my better judgement and now, I have to pay the price for it so I also decided that I won’t do that again. Hopefully, there won’t even be any more misunderstandings but if there are and someone hijacks my posts and insults and/or willfully misunderstands me, I will just block them. For my own sanity. And for the record, if there’s something in this or any of my subjective/emotional posts that can be misunderstood, that I didn’t make clear enough; please feel free to ask me about it. Please don’t immediately think the worst of me. And when it comes to my more objective/rational opinions, I am always open for discussions as long as we can remain respectful throughout.

I would also like to express my gratitude to anyone who reached out. I’m not sure if the damage can be undone to be honest (it doesn’t feel like it right now) but anyone who offered words of advice, understanding, support or kindness helped soften it. I cannot express how grateful and appreciative I am for it all, any replies or private messages. You helped make me feel less shitty and I thank you so so much. I’m definitely gonna save all the mental health advice cuz I really did not know how to deal with that overwhelming desire to... stop existing in that moment and I want to keep it in mind if (or when) I get affected this badly by something again. I intend to also reply to the messages privately ofc but for now, please accept all of my love and gratitude~

I’m gonna put the rest - which is more personal - under a cut and also tw cuz I’ll elaborate on my mental health/depression. This isn’t exactly something I want to share tbh but I think I shouldn’t shy away from it either. And I feel like I need to explain myself, just for anyone who cares to know.

—

If you compare life to walking on a path, then I at some point - I don’t even remember when - stopped walking and starting digging a hole for myself. It musta been years ago. Right now, that hole is so deep that I have no idea how to get out of it on my own, much less how to move forward. I think I always knew that there must be something wrong with me mentally. This isn’t something that is being talked about in my family, though, so I never extensively thought about it. Not until earlier this year, when my sister told me that she thinks I’m sick and I should see a therapist. My immediate reaction was to reject the idea but I really couldn’t do that for long. As of right now, I have been tentatively diagnosed (not sure if that’s what you call it in English) with depression but I haven’t actually found a permanent therapist and therefore also not started therapy yet. I have no idea what exactly is wrong with me and this not-knowing makes it somehow worse. I haven’t been properly functioning for the past two days - ever since I got called unhinged monster - cuz those words are burned into my brain by now and keep repeating themselves. It feels like my mind was given another weapon to slowly k-ll me with. It keeps reminding me that that’s what I am and then I start trembling and my breathing gets weird and it’s harder than usual for me to distract myself. And this is all so overwhelming for me, I have truly no idea how to deal with any of it. I don’t even know if I named it right, if it really is called a “depressive episode”. I’m hoping I’ll get to find out what exactly is wrong with me and how I can cope with it once I find a therapist. My lack of knowledge regarding what I myself am going through makes it all very confusing and difficult. Another reason why I kind of organized my thoughts and wrote them all down here is cuz I hope it will help me somehow, make my mind stop letting those really bad thoughts in. But in that moment when I felt especially f-cked up, any words of advice or kindness helped. I hope everyone who reached out knows that. Just... thank you. So damn much.

[vivithefolle]

Ron’s greatest acts of bravery

An itty-bitty butthurty Harmony shipper reported this answer of mine and got it deleted by the Quora moderation. Naturally, I have contested this decision, but my appeal has been unanswered as of now. So here’s what we’re going to do, folks: I’m gonna repost this answer of mine here, where no angwy widdle Hawmony shipper can censor it. And y’all are going to spam the reblog button until people can’t go in the Harry Potter tag without finding this answer reblogged at least five times over. Good? Good.

(this is totally a demarcation line I don’t know what you’re talking about)

What was Ron Weasley's greatest act of bravery in any of the Harry Potter movies or books?

We of course have the mythical “I’ll be a knight” but that’s so easy. Ron would die for his loved ones any day of any week, because that’s how stupidly selfless and self-effacing he is.

There is the equally mythical “If you want to kill Harry, you’ll have to kill us too!” which reeks of badassery and awesomeness, but it has also been quoted before, and to be fair that wasn’t one of Ron’s greatest acts of bravery. Oh, yes, it is incredibly brave, but Ron has plenty more of those to give.

One that is often forgotten is “He beat you!”, spoken to Voldemort in the flesh, which also highlights just how far Ron has come from the beginning of the series - because unlike what the haters want you to believe, Ronald Weasley has an actual character arc. An arc that keeps getting reseted and postponed in-between books because his author is too busy trying to make her Mary Sue look better instead, but he has one, and it’s so perfectly illustrated by this:

"... and until Hagrid told me, I didn't know anything about be ing a wizard or about my parents or Voldemort" Ron gasped. "What?" said Harry. "You said You-Know-Who's name!" said Ron, sounding both shocked and impressed. "I'd have thought you, of all people --" - Philosopher’s Stone

—-

"Malfoy's dad must have told him," said Harry, ignoring Ron. "He was right in Voldemort's inner circle --" "Say You-Know-Who, will you?" interjected Ron angrily. - Prisoner of Azkaban

—-

“My scar hurts, and three days later the Death Eaters are on the march, and Voldemort's sign's up in the sky again." "Don't - say - his - name!" Ron hissed through gritted teeth. "And remember what Professor Trelawney said?" Harry went on, ignoring Ron. - Goblet Of Fire

—-

"You see?" said Voldemort, and Harry felt him striding backward and forward right beside the place where he lay. "Harry Potter is dead! Do you understand now, deluded ones? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!" "He beat you!" yelled Ron, and the charm broke, and the defenders of Hogwarts were shouting and screaming again until a second, more powerful bang extinguished their voices once more.

From the boy who flinched at Voldemort’s name, to the man who was the first to sass back to Voldemort when the latter dissed his best mate. To say nothing of the fact that this was the first time Ron ever saw Voldemort in the flesh. Ron had never seen Voldemort before, yet the second Voldemort says something about Harry, Ron is up in arms and ready to kill the Dark Lord with his bare hands.

We could go with the tested-and-true “follow the spiders”. Unlike in the movies where Harry immediately sees a trail of spiders and Ron follows moaning and bumbling all the while, in the books Harry and Ron are comfortably in the castle when they decide to follow. Ron has the time to psych himself up, to terrify himself into imagining the spiders, and was given the time to backtrack a million times over. But he didn’t. This one Tumblr post has said it all.

Yes, “Follow the spiders” is probably one of Ron’s bravest moments, but…

But, but, but.

There’s more.

Sure, I absolutely adore Ron and can’t choose between all those awesome moments he has to his name, because they’re all so wonderful. From the ones that highlight just how much he’s grown and developed in spite of his own author treating him like an afterthought; from the ones that showcase just how good a kid he is, how much he loves and fights for his friends; all those moments that show that no, Ron Weasley isn’t a fair-weather friend and anyone who calls him that needs a high-five in the face with a block of concrete…

Out of those moments, out of them all, I have to pick something that is too often forgotten, too often glossed over, even by those of us who love Ron.

I’m talking, naturally, of his return.

Harry had no strength to lift his head and see his savior’s identity. All he could do was raise a shaking hand to his throat and feel the place where the locket had cut tightly into his flesh. It was gone. Someone had cut him free. Then a panting voice spoke from over his head, “Are—you—mental?”

Whether you think that Ron “abandoned” Harry and Hermione, whether you think that Ron is a traitor or a man with the patience of a saint who put up with Harry and Hermione’s bullshit for too long. Whether you think the three times Harry told him to leave were a factor or whether you place the blame solely on Ron’s shoulders.

Ron comes back to save Harry’s life.

But not only that.

“No!” said Ron. “No, don’t open it! I’m serious!” “Why not?” asked Harry. “Let’s get rid of the damn thing, it’s been months—” “Because that thing’s bad for me!” said Ron, backing away from the locket on the rock. “I can’t handle it! I’m not making excuses, Harry, for what I was like, but it affects me worse than it affected you and Hermione, it made me think stuff — stuff I was thinking anyway, but it made everything worse. I can’t explain it, and then I’d take it off and I’d get my head on straight again, and then I’d have to put the effing thing back on—I can’t do it, Harry!” He had bakced away, the sword dragging at his side, shaking his head.

Ron came back, even though he knew it would mean being with the thing that had tortured him all this time.

The thing that latched onto all of Ron’s weak spots, cultivated them, weaponized them, used them to push Ron closer and closer to the edge, until he couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. (Funny how some will act as though Hermione’s birds were her “snapping”, but when Ron is holding Voldemort’s soul in his hands and going insane under their very eyes they just say “hurr durr teh locket didnt do nuthin”…)

And with this thing preying on him, tormenting him, Ron did what any rational, sane human being would have done when their abuser forgets to lock the door.

He opened it and ran.

But, but, but, and that’s where the bravery comes in.

He came back.

He knew there was this thing that preyed upon him relentlessly, a thing that managed to make him believe his best friends didn’t want nor cared about him, that his entire existence amounted to nothing, that he was just a waste of space nobody wanted around.

“Why return? We were better without you, happier without you, glad of your absence... We laughed at your stupidity, your cowardice, your presumption —”

“You mother confessed,” sneered Riddle-Harry, while Riddle-Hermione jeered, “that she would have preferred me as a son, would be glad to exchange...” “Who wouldn’t prefer him, what woman would take you, you are nothing, nothing, nothing to him,” crooned Riddle-Hermione

Ron fled from this sort of abuse, from this sort of torture, then he decided to come back for more.

Because even though he believed his friends didn’t need him, even though he thought his friends were better off without him, he still wanted to make himself useful. He still wanted to help.

And once he’d saved Harry, he was back to facing the entity that has been torturing him, and that entity proceeded to show off Ron’s deepest, most shameful secrets… to his best mate.

Ron’s entire self-esteem is tied to the way his loved ones perceive him:

“You did brilliantly, Ron!” This time it really was Hermione running toward them from the stands; Harry saw Lavender walking off the pitch, arm in arm with Parvati, a rather grumpy expression on her face. Ron looked extremely pleased with himself and even taller than usual as he grinned at the team and at Hermione.

The image the Mirror of Erised showed Ron was one of glory and fame… or was it?

"No -- I'm alone -- but I'm different -- I look older -- and I'm head boy!" "What?" "I am -- I'm wearing the badge like Bill used to -- and I'm holding the house cup and the Quidditch cup -- I'm Quidditch captain, too."

Being Head Boy and Quidditch captain. He could have seen himself being crowned World’s Best Emperor if he wanted, with legions of fans throwing himself at him, but that doesn’t happen.

Instead he sees himself being like Bill. Like his cool older brother. And Quidditch captain, like his other cool older brother Charlie.

What Ron wants… is to make his loved ones proud.

Ron defines himself by the way his loved ones look at him.

When Malfoy calls him an idiot he scoffs because it’s Malfoy. When Hermione calls him an idiot, though…? Ouch.

And now all of Ron’s secrets, all his feelings of inadequacy and inferiority that he has tried to keep quiet throughout the series out of respect for Harry, his deepest fears… They’re all there for Harry to see, for Harry to judge, for Harry to feel disgusted by. Because how dare Ron Weasley have problems, how dare Ron Weasley be envious of Harry Potter, whose life is nothing but suffering?

Ron’s greatest act of bravery, to me, was coming back, even though for all he knew Harry and Hermione had hooked up while he was gone (they’d never, of course, but how could he know?), even though he knew it would mean being up for Round #2 of his private torture sessions with Voldemort, even though he believed he wouldn’t be welcome…

He still came back. Because it was the right thing to do.

Anyone who’s gonna tell me that Ronald Weasley isn’t loyal to the core can suck on a cactus.

[aureutr]

I guess this little sub-fandom is finally big enough to draw the sort of purity culture backlash that Reylos dealt with for years. (sigh)

I’m not going to post in the tag because fandom wank (I refuse to call it “discourse” like the kids do) sucks but let’s talk about upsetting things in fanfiction a bit. I also went ahead and tagged this one appropriately so if you don’t wanna hear about it you don’t have to.

TL;DR the reason why AO3 and places that model after it are so “loose” on censorship is next time you might not be the one deciding what gets censored. I don’t want to pull “back in my day” but y’all don’t remember the purges of FF.Net or LiveJournal. Y’know, the reason AO3 exists in the first place.

I like reading and writing noncon fanfiction. For me, it’s because I’m into BDSM and part of that fantasy (again, for me) is total lack of control. Consent and safe words are amazingly important…in real life. But in fiction, in fantasy, it can be fun to skip. It’s not for everyone, of course, and that’s what tags and warnings and alternate channels are for.

I’m not personally into incestuous ships. But I know a few people who are, and every one of them is meticulous about tagging, warnings, and otherwise keeping things separated.

Are you sensing a pattern yet?

Tags, warnings, alternate channels separating topics and the like are tools to use to curate your online experience. It is a kind person who marks their content with them so you can do this without having to read it first. They are doing you a favor.

I’m not going to address the racism accusation much because it’s fairly vague. All I know is that the few times I’ve seen the accusation it’s coming from a white (fairly young) person and it sounds an awful lot like “you shouldn’t write about gay people because doing so is automatically fetishization” argument from my first go-round in fandom in the aughts.

I’m not going to say that fandom can’t be racist. It can, and we can and should make things better. But things you dislike are not inherently racist, either. I think the only concrete example I can think of is that Dinluke is racist because Din is usually the “aggressor” in noncon? But that also tells me you don’t read it. Titillating noncon reads far differently than realistic depictions of rape. Most of the Dark Din out there is as or less violent than canon. If you’re not interested, of course, you don’t have to force yourself to read anything you don’t want to.

Just, you know, learn to walk away when something isn’t for you. Or how to use filter tools. Or any of another dozen options. It’s very possible to live and let live.

Because it’s fictional. And if you can’t engage with fiction with enough of a critical mind not to be affected by it, you aren’t mature enough to use the internet unsupervised.

[zirkkun]

Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

A Family of Five- Part 2: Like Sugar, With Salt

Calum and Harlowe’s marriage hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been filled with love. This is a collaborative experience with In Sorrow and In Joy. Dad!Calum. Black OC.

CW: Over the course of this series, there are mentions of pregnancy, therapy, and postpartum depression. There is also 18+ Content (Smut)

Enjoy my masterlist | Series Masterlist

Support me on kofi

No one has my permission to repost my work of fiction. This includes translations as well. 

__________________________

Harlowe is still laying in bed. The alarm went off hours ago. She managed to get up, change her clothes. Calum made her eat with him and the kids. But the second she could escape, shower, and change again, she crawled right back into bed. The TV plays. Normally she would be watching it, but it’s more like the TV is watching her. The afternoon has settled in nicely, a bright clear day. She knows she ought to get up. There’s laundry to do. There’s lunch to fix. The very least is laundry. The absolute minimum. Calum can’t do it all himself. Laundry, she can do laundry. Throwing her feet to the floor, she pushes up. Just do laundry. Just do laundry. 

She walks into Te Koha’s room first. His toy trains lining the molding of his floor. He likes to think this is cleaning, since it’s not in the middle of the floor. He’s stubborn that way. Her and Calum have both collectively just let this happen. It doesn’t interfere too much and she’s glad at the very least that it’s not cluttered in the middle. There’s a path--and it works. Pulling his tiny hamper, she drags it behind her in, leaving it near the door before checking Esha’s room. Even though she’s still barely a toddler, she has her own hamper. Harlowe thought it would be frivolous but Esha wants everything Te Koha has, his tiny shadow. 

Grasping both hampers, she carries them down stairs. There’s no one inside. There’s not a giggle or chuckle or the twinkle of Pepper’s tag. It’s unusual for sure. But it’s not crazy. Just noteworthy, the silence settles thickly. Just the barely audible hum of fridge. She walks over to the kitchen window and sees Calum bouncing Esha as Te Koha runs around with his airplanes, Pepper runs behind him. Koha spies her from the window and smiles. His chubby cheeks lift as he waves. “Momma!” he shouts.  

She leans over the counter, pushing open the open the window. “Hi baby!”

“Will you come outside today?”

The question hurts. Things have gotten so bad again. Harlowe knows that. She just never thought her children would notice. Just go out for him. Go out for him, Harlowe chants to herself. She nods.. “I gotta put some clothes in the washer, but yeah, I’ll come out.”

The smile on his face radiates. He cheers. “Need help? I can help?”

“No, baby. Mommy’s got it. Keep an eye on Papa Bear for me. Make sure he doesn’t step on my rose bushes,” she adds. 

“I can hear you, you know,” Calum gripes. Koha laughs, but resumes his running with the toy plane. Calum steps closer to the open window. “If you don’t feel like coming out, don’t push yourself. Take it one step at a time.”

She exhales. It’s good for her. Just for a little bit. “I should go out.”

Esha whines in Calum’s arm, reaching for something below. He sets her down. “Okay, baby girl, I know. Down, I know.” She trots toward Koha. Calum turns back to Harlowe. “Let me know if you need anything, okay? Please?”

“I will.” He eyes her, head tilting forward. “I promise.” He knows she’ll suffer in silence. They both will. To a fault. Even if it’s bad, but that’s just who they are. A cry starts up; Esha. Doesn’t sound particularly bad, it’s more like a startled cry. 

Calum jogs over. “What happened, baby girl? You’re okay.”

“She just tripped,” Koha says. 

She leaves the window open. The small chirps and sounds of life help, make her feel less isolated. She sorts their clothes by colors and tosses them into the machine. The kids have a special detergent and she grabs it, always a little shocked by how heavy it is. The washing machine begins to rumble. She rests her hands onto it, feeling the vibrations shake up her hands and arms. She is still alive. Right? 

The back door is unlocked from when Calum took the kids and dogs out. She wonders if Calum knew that she needed a moment’s silence. Or maybe he was worried. If the kids watched her fall apart for too long, would they become hyper concerned? Would they want to do nothing because she was doing nothing? What was she teaching her kids? Her forehead falls into the glass of the door. She can’t teach them that. She can just water the flowers, right? 

There’s still lunch to fix. The kids will be getting hungry soon. She can get to that right? Calum’s here. They’ll get that that. She twists the doorknob, stepping onto the warm wood of the deck.  Koha rushes up the porch steps, wrapping his arms around her legs. Brushing her palm over his back, she sucks back tears. Koha’s only ever wanted good for her. He deserves his old mother back. Not her now, covered under a thick blanket of tired, of doubt, of shame. “We didn’t water the flowers yet, Momma. Do you want to do that? Can I help?”

He starts to pull back from her. Harlowe’s quick to wipe her tears from her face. “Yeah, let’s go water the flowers.” The walk to the garage door. It cranks after she types in the code before they walk inside, Te Koha takes hold of her hand. Harlowe gives it a squeeze, smiling, however briefly down at her son. A spitting image of her. With Calum’s soul. 

Things were better when he was first born. Harlowe had gotten pregnant with Te Koha well before she and Calum had ever considered getting married. But it didn’t matter. Besides, Harlowe will never forget the day Calum did propose, down on one knee in the middle of her empty apartment. He was sweaty for sure, having helped move her out so she could stay with him. She was swollen, stomach, ankles, feet. Everyone that looked at her was afraid she’d pop at any second. But it was Calum who popped instead, on his knee, to take her hand. 

He was going to do right by her. After nearly fucking things up. He couldn’t loose Harlowe a second time. Her pregnancy with Te Koha was fine. There were aches and pain for sure. But she felt fine. She was fine. Te Koha was a fairly easy baby. And now there is just a fog. Esha wasn’t a worrisome baby. She was stubborn and a opinonated, even at two. But she wasn’t difficult. It was just Harlowe’s brain. Her brain was making things hard. 

“Momma?” Te Koha asks, taking his water can from her hands. He can see the frown pulling down his mother’s face. 

“Yes, baby?”

“I’m sorry you’re sad,” he whispers. “I promise to be good.”

She gasps, a short explosion of air before her chest squeezes. She kneels in front of her little boy. His brown eyes are teary up like mine. Cupping his face between her palm, she brings his attention to her. “What’s happening to me is not your fault. It’s not Papa Bear’s fault; it’s not even Esha’s fault.”

“Then what happened?” He sniffs, wiping underneath his nose. “You were so different before.”

“Momma’s had some serious health issues. It’s…. been hard on me. But it’s not your fault. Please, please, please don’t think it. I wish I wasn’t like this. Mommy wishes she could be her old self. I am so sorry.”

“Is there is anything I can do to help?”

“Just keep being you baby boy. Just keep being you.”  She wipes the tears that have fallen from his skin. “Do you still want to help me water the flowers?”

He nods. “Yes. I always do.”

“Okay,” she whispers. “Let me grab my can.” They walk to the hose, Harlowe filling Koha’s up first. Then filling hers. He trails behind, waiting for the every other plant that Harlowl leaves to him.  He sticks his tongue out a little, watching as the water slips over and splashes onto the ground. Harlowe pauses occasionally to pluck the dead leaves and weeds around certain plants. Te Koha follows suit, under the careful eye of his mother. This is the mom he remembers. A soft smile on her lips when he pulls hard at a weed and successfully uproots it. A small cheer of pride echoes from his chest. 

“Need any help?” a voice says behind me.

Harlowe looks over her shoulder. Koha shoots up from his seated position. “Uncle Mikey!” 

Michael laughs, collecting Koha into his arms before picking him up. “Oh, you’re getting big. No wonder Cal’s got arms like fu--freaking Superman. Lifting kids all day is a great work out.”

“Michael, what are you doing here?” Harlowe’s not sure of her own voice. It’s strange for sure. But there’s a glimmer of something light, something like happiness. It is happiness. He’s still the same. With the basketball hat, the fringed hair, the leather bracelets, and the rings. 

He opens his free side to her and Harlowe folds into his embrace. “Cal called me over. Said you were having a decent day. Wanted to check in.”

Harlowe and Michael have, over the years, gotten close. They bonded originally over video games. Harlowe has her degree in psychology and through her willingness to always listen to him they grew closer. Michael isn’t necessarily reserved but he’s not always forthcoming about things. He’s vocal when it’s necessary. Harlowe never judged--she pushed occasionally for him to open up. But she never sneered at him, never berated him over his feelings. She just listened. 

Michael returned the favor. He’s always become a great pillar of support since this funk after Esha’s birth. She had shockingly cried to Michael a couple times about her inability to conceive a third child. She wanted to give Calum that picture perfect family. Her body and mind weren’t ready for that--they were telling her to slow down. She always had trouble listening. 

“It’s been okay,” she says softly, pulling back from his hug. 

“Okay is good. Okay is great.”

“Are you going to help us?” Koha asks. 

Michael laughs. “Sure, why the--why not?” Michael’s still working at censoring him around the kids. Almost five years should’ve been enough practiced but Michael was only the uncle currently with no kids. He didn’t have the filter on all the time.

The three of them settle back down in the front garden. Harlowe pulls out the gardening seat for Michael to sit. He complained about potentially ruining his jeans. “Look!” Koha puts out a bug, nestled into the mulch. Harlowe pulls back his hands a little. Even though he’s wearing gloves, she fears that it could be a snake or spider. It’s not though upon closer inspection. 

By the time they move to the side of the house where the kitchen window is, Calum gazing out of it. “Lunch’s up soon, bud. Come inside and wash your hands,” he says softly to Koha. 

Koha and Harlowe look up at each other. The window is opened just enough. “Can I Momma?”

She grins and looks over to Calum. Hhe sighs, hopping onto the counter and holding out his hands. “Fine, you two are definitely fucking Aries.”

“Swear jar, Papa Bear,” she laughs, sliding off the gloves and hoisting Koha up. He grabs Calum’s forearms and he slides in through the window. Calum sets him down. “Wash your hands now. I don’t want to find actual ants on your ants on a log.”

She just barely catches Koha’s laugh as he walks away from the window. “He loves going in through the window. Why not let him live a little?”

“Because then he’ll think it’s normal to climb in through the windows,” Calum laughs. 

“You saying it’s not?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, missy.” They share a laugh. Including Michael. He’s used to their shenanigans. “You coming in for lunch?” Cal asks. 

“Once I finish up out here. Shit, the laundry.”

Calum shakes his head. “One load is already done. Second load is in the dryer.”

“I’m so sorry I forgot.”

“Baby, it’s okay.”

She sighs. “I’m just so off. I hate this.”

“Just consider the meds, think about it, okay? I’m not asking you to makeup your minds just yet. But don’t count it out.”

Michael rests a hand on her back, not quite on her shoulder but not quite off it either. “They honestly could help, Harlowe. Don’t eliminate the possibility. I know you don’t want to take meds. I know you can do this without. But you don’t have to.”

“The ACT is helping, I think. I just don’t want to add more to our medical expenses. I’m already running it up as it,” Harlowe counters. 

Calum wishes he could shake his wife sometimes. Snap her out of whatever haze she was in. Or just get her to see that he cares not what dime amount it costs. “You know money is not a problem here.” Harlowe opens her mouth. Calum continues before she can interject it. “Finish up in your beds and then come in and eat. Relax the rest of the day. Think you can finish the beds?”

She nods. It’s been weeks since she’s been out here. Calum tries to do it for her. Harlowe’s picky, picking it up from her mother and her grandmother the particular meticulousness when it comes to her yard. He does what he knows she likes and knows how to keep the basics up  but doesn’t push it too much further. 

He slides off the counter. “Ready to eat little man?” Koha nods. 

Harlowe goes back to her yard. Michael calls into the window for something before handing a bottle of water to Harlowe. “Maybe you should get out of LA,” he says holding the bag for weeds open.

“You sound like Calum now. You guys have been working here for years now.”

“It doesn’t mean that we can’t move, you know? We’ve been discussing going back to Sydney, anyway. Going back to our roots, settling down. Cal and Luke already have kids. LA’s no place to raise kids.”

She rips the weed from the dirty. Some mulch flies up through the hair. It lands and Harlowe stares down at it. “ I don’t want to be lectured at about moving.Then I have to look for a new university to work out. I’ve got three years where I’m at.”

“You’re not tenured. You said they’re already discussing making changes to the Creative Writing department.”

“I love the kids I work with. They’re brilliant. I have great reviews from them. They’d be crazy to get rid of me.” She yanks at out another weed.  

Michael sighs. “They’ve done crazier things before, you know that better than anyone.”

“Even if the band moves back, it will still take me awhile to find work. I can’t force Calum to take care of the bills alone.”

“Harlowe, you’re making fucking bank. Calum’s smart and has been for years now. He could handle everything and more by his income alone.”

He’s right. Calum’s invested some money. Most of those profits go towards savings for the kids future education plans. Advancements from albums and merch sales have also been sitting in savings for them. Her income is chump change comparatively. Calum’s always treated it equally. The sales from her books helps too for kids savings. Her salary covers half the bills.  My income is chump change compared to him.

She could move. Maybe she should. Calum’s been dropping the possibility more and more since everything went downhill. “My family,’” she says softly. 

“They’re going to cause you to go gray.”

A sob chokes her. Her chest squeezes. When did she start crying? When did the tears burn her eyes? I’m so used to being able to handle things. I don’t know what to do.”

Michael rubs at her back, shushing her softly. “You’re allowed to be weak. Being strong doesn’t mean being able to handle everything. It’s about knowing your limits, knowing when you need help.”

It takes a few minutes before the tears subside. The water soothes the ache in her throat. The passing moments are filled with silence. Michael points to some small green leaves, making sure it’s okay to pull before he gets a grip on it. He can’t tell if it’s a new plant or not and would rather not cause her another crying fit. Harlowe nods before clipping off some browning leaves. 

“You are not alone in this, okay? Remember that.”

“Thanks, Michael.” 

She watches, to make sure he gets safely to his car. It’s all the years of drinking as a young woman and knowing that any moment could be someone’s last. It’s the years of being a mother and freaking out whenever Te Koha decides to hide behind a rack or mannequin. She has to see with her own eyes to everyone’s safely. 

When she gets inside, after double checking the lock on the door, she notices  Esha’s standing with her little horse. Her smile is bright. Harlowe does her best to return it as she goes to wash her hands. Esha clambers right behind her, the clacking of the plastic striking the floors. Harlowe steps to get a paper towel. More clacks are heard. 

Harlowe runs in a circle, the clicking following her ‘round and ‘round. She scopes up her little girl, lifting Esha above her head. “You’re getting so big, girlie. I love you.”

She giggles at Harlowe. “You’re not tired?” Harlowe asks. “You should be tired by now. You ran behind Koha today. He’s a fast one. My little zoomer.”

When she looks over to him, sitting at the table, tracing over the alphabet with Calum, he grins. “Nyoom,” he laughs. 

“Down,” Esha pleads. It’s softly at first. Then she repeats herself, more firmly, when the request is not immediately fulfilled. “Down.” 

“So demanding, you’re my child. Lord help you.” Harlowe sets her down and she runs back to her horse. 

Calum chuckles. “Alright, c’mon, Koha. You’re half way done.”

“I’m being Momma’s little zoomer,” he huffs but goes back to tracing. 

Calum turns his attention back to Harlowe. “Make sure to eat.” 

She nods. She’s not very hungry though. She knows she should be. But she’s just not. Her appetite goes most days. “Want to shower first.”

He points to the fridge. He means right now. “Please, baby. Just something. A turkey sandwich and apple. It doesn’t have to be a lot. I even bought pink ladies, your favorite.”

“I smell.”

“Harlowe.”

She knows that tone. She marches to the fridge to find the plate all ready for her. She knows, during the first couple of bites that she won’t get it all down. Something is better than nothing under Calum’s watchful stare. She pretends not to notice his constant glances and gazes out of the same window that Te Koha was lifted through. They both know the other is watching. 

More than half the sandwich is gone and the whole apple is finished. Harlowe tips the plate in Calum’s direction before dumping the core and sandwich remnants. He gives a slight nod. His acknowledgement of what she’s eaten. He worries. Maybe more so than he should. But who can fault the concern? Who can find any issue in the pure love that he carries for her? He wants her to be okay. 

Harlowe walks over to the penmanship study and tugs at Calum’s elbows. “You stink, you know?” he teases. 

She lifts an arm, turning the armpit to his face. “Wanna try something else smart to say?” 

Calum rears back. “God, I can’t breathe. Te Koha, help me. I’m going to suffocate from the stink.”

Koha laughs in his seat. “Sorry Daddy, I have to finish tracing.”

“My own son betrays me,” he gasps, pretending to pass out. No one reacts. “So you all were just going to let me die? Even you Esha,” Calum sits up, pulling her into his chest. He smiles over Harlowe’s shoulder to her. She coos, smacking her toys together in excitement. “Yeah, even you were just going to leave your old man high and dry. No love.”

She stands and walks over. Harlowe end down to pick her up. She reaches for Calum though. “She’s such a daddy’s girl,” Harlowe laughs. 

“I love you,” he breathes into her skin, lips brushing over from the forehead kiss.. “I love you so much. Mommy loves you too. You too, Koha,” he says turning his attention to his son, brushing his fingers through the tight coils. “We love you too.”

“I know,” he says softly. A grin taking over his face. “I know.”

Harlowe decides on a soak. But after her shower. The shower will let her cry if she needs too. Though, after her tears in the garden, she thinks today will be decent. The rose scent of the bubbles starts to invade her nostrils. Her eyes close and Koha’s face fills her dark vision. His tears. His plea for her to get better. Her own children take the blame for her brain’s reaction. 

The sting starts up behind her closed lids. God, she’s so unfit. With lips pressed together, Harlowe tries to quiet the sobs. It’s just about nap time; she doesn’t want to wake them. But God, how unfit. Unable to remember the laundry she had started. Hardly able to keep the yard together and in good shape. Can’t even a fucking sandwich. 

Every second she can sit in bed, she does. Calum must think she’s disgusted with him. Harlowe hasn’t touched him sexually in months. She wants too, just lacks the motivation to go through with it. All her energy is spent before her feet ever hit the floor. Covering her mouth, she lets one nasty sob rip through her. The floor thuds with footsteps; Calum’s heard. Fuck. She sniffles. Pull it together. He can’t see her crying again. He doesn’t even bother knocking, not that he needed to anyway. If he heard the wail, she knows he would’ve broken down the door if necessary. 

“Babe,” he rushes out, settling onto the edge of the tub. “Talk to me, please.”

Her hands tremble; her throat hurts. The words are stuck in the dryness that coats her mouth. Grabbing her towel from the counter, he sets it on his lap before pulling her out of the water. Calum wraps the extra fabric, then holds her to his chest. The rocking motion helps. All she has to do is focus on the back and forth motion. She doesn’t have to think about anything else. 

“Te Koha thought it was his fault,” she breathes. The words are sour. She feels like there is bile on them as she speaks. “He thought he had done something wrong. I forgot about the laundry. I’m barely eating. I’m falling apart. I don’t want to fall apart. I’m not taking the fertility meds like I should. I want to give up; I don’t want to keep doing this.”

Calum finally speaks, voice thick. “Do you want to get better?”

“Sometimes I do; sometimes I don’t.”

“Right now, do you want to get better?”

“I’m just tired, Calum. I’m so fucking tired.”

“You know I’m here for you. You know I care, right?” She nods against his chest. “Do you trust me?” She nods again, clutching onto the cotton t-shirt. He releases a breathe. “Then we can’t stay here. You can’t keep dodging therapy appointments. You can’t skip your meds.”

“I know; I’m sorry.”

Calum kisses the top of her head, or what he can reach of it behind the pineappled afro. “I need some extra hands. We need some extra hands; I know a nanny scares you. But we’re getting out of LA, as quick as possible. I’m calling your parents, see if they can help for a little bit. But we’ve gotta get out of here. I know you’re worried about insurance costs and such. But maybe it’s time to leave the States. My parents could help us; I’m sure they’d be happy to.”

She is small, in that moment she is that eleven year old girl that cried in a bathroom because she heard her parents arguing. She is that eleven year old girl that needed her father’s comforting touch. She is small again, in Calum’s lap, still damp from the shower and bath. She needs someone to help her. Maybe she can stop torturing herself, her husband, and her kids. 

“Okay,” she whispers. “I need the help.” A tiny drop of relief hits her stomach. She needs help. She needs help. She just needs the help. There’s no shame in that, right? There’s nothing wrong in admitting that sometimes the burden is just too heavy to carry all by herself.

[intothestarkerverse]

I loved Paper Hearts. Can I request a Starker version of The Good Place?

Ohhh! I hadn’t thought of his particular Starkerization, but this was loads of fun and I hope that I did it justice!

I hope you like it Nonnie and if anyone else has any requests, feel free to toss them my way!

The Good Place 

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/23048128)

When Peter Parker dies, he doesn’t expect to go to Heaven. Oh, sure, he’s tried very hard to live his life in the best way he’s known how, but he is also totally responsible for his uncle’s death and that alone had to get him a one way ticket down south. So, the last thing he expects after his untimely demise is to wake up sitting on a nondescript couch in front of a very handsome man who calls himself ‘Tony’, the ‘architect’ in charge of Peter’s ‘neighborhood’ in ‘The Good Place’. 

 While Peter thinks Friday the heavenly computer is amazing, he’s a little trepidatious about spending eternity with his ‘soul mate’. He’d been so unlucky in love on earth, he couldn’t imagine that his track record would improve just because he is now dead.

Quentin Beck is handsome, and at first he seems pretty cool...until he doesn’t. In fact, he’s a little bit of a jerk. Peter is completely unimpressed by his soulmate and tries to spend every moment he can away from home. Really, he doesn’t understand how anyone in charge of the Good Place could think that he was into egomaniacal, self-serving, not-as-smart-as-they-think-they-are jackasses. Cause he’s not. So not.

His neighbor is worse. So much worse. Peter begins to question the nature of the Good Place based entirely off of Flash’s presence there and continued insistence in referring to Peter as Penis Parker. Surely in Heaven you are spared from your High School bully...and why when the word sh*t is censored is Penis still a totally okay thing to bellow at the top of your lungs during a fancy ‘Welcome to the Afterlife’ party, anyway? Perhaps Peter’s first inclination that something is not right comes when he catches sight of Flash in the crowd at said party and his attempts to dodge him are thwarted with a shout of, “Yo! Hey, Penis is here! Penis Parker! Penis, it’s me! Ya boi! I can’t believe you made it here, dude, you were such a loser....”

Then there’s the case of Bucky and Steve. They aren’t soulmates. At least...not according to Tony and Friday, but Peter has to be blind not to notice the looks they give each other across the room and behind the backs of their respective mates. While he tries not to be superficial, Peter cannot even begin to imagine what it’s like to go to bed with Arnim Zola every night. Brock Rumlow is a lot hotter, but also a lot scarier...

No, something is definitely wrong.

To discover exactly what it is, Peter decides to get close to the only one who seems to have any clue about what’s going on. Tony. It helps that Tony is super hot and while also egomaniacal and self-serving, he is every bit as smart as he thinks he is...and Peter digs it.

~ ~ ~

This is his last chance.

As far as last chances go, it could be worse, really.

Tony knew going in that he was probably going to fail, but this was the Bad Place and things never go quite the way you want them to here. Still, the idea of eternal torment or ceasing to exist are not things he really wants to look forward to, so he is determined to do his damnedest to make this thing work....even if he knows it’s doomed to fail.

Peter Parker is a problem.

He becomes a problem on the first night when that Flash kid makes such a spectacle. Really? How is Tony supposed to sell this Good Place Schtick with some annoying Gen-Z’er publicly humiliating the most innocent, Bambi-looking soul in the bunch? Also, it made him look bad because he hadn’t done that on purpose...though if anyone asked...

He doesn’t know how he ends up with the kid tagging along with him like some intern from hell. (Ha!) In the beginning, it seems like Tony despises having Peter around. He tries to ditch him, tries to distract him, tries any number of methods of ridding himself of Peter...but Peter is like the gum in his hair that won’t leave until it’s cut out...and unbeknownst to Peter, Tony isn’t able to cut Peter free no matter how badly he wants to. So, he begrudgingly begins to accept Peter as an assistant of sorts. He tries to assign him meaningless, boring tasks, but Peter seems to thrive under the attention.

He keeps coming back form more.

Every embarrassment Tony imagines to demean him, Peter shrugs off and pushes through. Every injustice he faces, Peter shoulders and works his way around. Every torture Tony can dream up, Peter endures with grace and humility and begs for more. He’s amazing. He’s fucking good, and Tony has never met a good one before.

Not a really good one.

Not.

Ever.

He doesn’t know when he begins looking forward to the kid being around; when he finds himself spending a little too long admiring the boy’s chestnut curls and warm brown eyes; when his eyes begin a downward adventure, enjoying every chiseled edge and soft curve on the boy’s form.

Oh lust isn’t a problem. It is one of the Big Seven. They are encouraged to feed on it, trouble is...Tony isn’t dreaming of Peter screaming in pain or begging for mercy from the dark and twisted sexual acts encouraged by those in the Bad Place. No. No, if he was, well, everything would be fine, wouldn’t it? No. Tony is thinking about the whimpers of mercy from the gentle caresses and tender worshipping a boy like that deserves. He wants to take him apart in the best possible way. Not to torture him, but to revere him. Peter Parker is everything about humanity that Tony thought could never really exist and he wants him...wants to taste him, to have him, to know what it’s like to become so close to something that isn’t festering and rotting and putrid like everything else in the Bad Place.

So clearly it’s all his fault when Peter Parker shows up at his office one day with a look of determination and declares.

“I know this is the Bad Place, Tony.”

Well, that’s it. The jig is up. If he’s going to cease to exist or spend eternity in a fiery pit of excruciating agony, he might as well have one moment of joy. So, he silences the boy with a kiss. Peter seems surprised, until he isn’t. One moment he is frozen in shock, and the next moment he has his arms around Tony, fingers caught in his thick dark hair and the boy is kissing back with everything he has.

It’s is everything Tony ever thought it could be. It is warm and tender and gentle and soft and good and passionate and fills him with something he cannot even begin to describe but really, genuinely fears might be love. He never wants the moment to end and every time Peter tries to pull away, Tony pulls him back, pawing at his clothing and throwing everything on his desk into disarray in his harried attempt to make room for everything he wants, everything he needs. If a demon can die happy, than he will die happy, just give him a night of this, a night of Peter.

Tony commits every moment to memory, tracing his hands over the soft ivory skin, exploring every edge and curve, ever ridge and furrow. He tastes everything, spends what could be hours (time is such a Jeremy Bearimy) turning every sordid sexual torture from the Bad Place into the most worshipful offering he can. Peter screams his name a dozen times, sometimes muted against the desk and others freely into the room. Tony relishes every sensation, pauses in certain moments to remember what it feels like to have his body so close to something so good. He isn’t worthy, he never will be, but Peter is giving it all willingly and enjoying every minute of it. That does have to stand for something doesn’t it?

It has to end, everything does, and in the morning even though they’re both spent, Peter is still determined to have his answers. So, Tony tells him everything. Who he is. What he is. That this is the Bad Place and they’re all being tortured for eternity. Peter begs him to show mercy to people like Steve and Bucky and even, surprisingly, Flash, but Tony isn’t really in charge of anything. He’s just as doomed as the rest of them.

“So, that’s it, we’re all just...we’re all just going to be here forever like this?”

Tony looks away, scrubbing a hand over his carefully groomed facial hair and cocking his head slightly as he winces. “Not really, Baby. You know. My bosses are going to call this a failure. I’m dead, or good as...and, uh, you and the others are going to go to the Bad Place for real this time. It’s....pretty terrible. Lot worse than this. Eternal torment. Worst fears. You know the deal, I’m sure.”

“You can’t let that happen.”

“What part of I’m not in charge did you not get? Do I look like I run the place? Cloven hooves, pitchfork, horns? Huh? I can’t save any of them. I can’t even save you, and if I was going to save anyone...for the record, it would be you.”

Peter is reaching for his hands with an indistinguishable look in his eyes that Tony soon learns must be what humans call ‘hope’ because what he is suggesting is insane. “Maybe, they don’t have to know. That I know, I mean. I could pretend that I don’t. We could go back to things, the way they were. We could pretend and we could all just stay here because if here is better than there...than here is all we’ve got.”

Tony knows its a ridiculous plan, but he can’t look into those eyes and say no. He hears himself agreeing before he even realizes that he has, and the next thing he knows...he and Peter have returned to their normal lives...only with a lot more sex. A lot of sex. And sharing, Peter is big on the sharing. Tony pretends to mind, but really...he’s never actually been to earth and it’s interesting to learn about what it’s like to live there, to be human. He can even find himself fantasizing about what that might have been like. To be one of them. To be free to live a real life with Peter instead of...whatever this is.

~ ~ ~

Peter isn’t giving up.

It’s not in his nature.

There has to be a way out of this, not just for himself but for everyone and for Tony. He refuses to believe that any of them belong in this place, not really, and he’s determined to find a way to get them all out.

Tony is so gentle, so starved for affection, so eager to drink up every drop of the human condition. He’s no demon. In bed maybe, sure, but not....not in the torture people and take pleasure in their pain kind of way. And Steve and Bucky, they haven’t done anything worthy of being in the Bad Place. Even Flash wasn’t that terrible.

Something is wrong and Peter is going to figure it out. He has to, but also has to do it without Tony knowing because that would ruin everything, wouldn’t it?

It happens in small doses, when Peter is alone with Friday he asks her all kinds of innocent questions about how The Good Place operates. How do people end up there? What do they do to earn the way there? What happens if they’re bad? A thousand questions that he asks and records carefully and innocently in such a way as to avoid alerting anyone to his true intentions.

Slowly things begin to make sense and his also carefully considered questions to Tony about how the Afterlife works and the hierarchy of upper management is laid out provides Peter with the solution.

“I can’t call the Judge for you, Peter.”

Peter purses his lips in an almost petulant frown as he looks the human-like computer over unhappily. “Why not?”

“I am almost certain that Boss wouldn’t like it very much.”

“Almost isn’t certain. C’mon, Fri, did Tony tell you that I’m not allowed to speak to the Judge?”

The computer pauses, considering this for a moment before she gives a curt shake of her head. “No, he hasn’t.”

“Has he told you that he would be angry if I did?”

“No.”

“Than you can’t be certain at all that he’ll be made if you call them now. So. The Judge. I need to talk to them and I need you to call them for me because I know you know how.”

“Peter...”

It is a round about argument that goes on for an indeterminate amount of time before Peter finds himself standing in front of an imposing dark man with an eye patch and a penchant for leather who is looking at him like a bug he would like to crush beneath his steel-toed boot.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Peter clears his throat and plunges into his carefully pre-written speech. He can tell that this man is not the sort to be swayed by emotion, so he skips some of his more eloquently penned descriptions of the situations to stick with cold hard facts.

Something is wrong in the Bad Place.

There are souls there that shouldn’t be and he can prove it.

To his credit, the Judge listens with only a few derisive snorts and muttered curses, but it is a mention of Tony that finally draws an interruption.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. Slow you’re roll there, kid. Go back to this Tony guy. He’s a demon right? Bad guy? Tortured and all that. So why did your voice get soft when you talked about him? Don’t lie to me. I’ll know and we’ll end this little chat of ours in ten seconds flat.”

Peter didn’t know what to do besides simply tell the Judge the truth. So, he did. Everything that had occurred between himself and the ‘architect’ and everything that he felt for the man.

“You love him? A demon.” Another snort. “I mean, I know humans can have some pretty self destructive tendencies but...”

“He loves me, too.”

“Yeah, no he doesn’t. Demons can’t fall in love. Can’t feel it. Don’t even know what it is.”

“Tony can.”

“If that’s true, there’s more wrong in the Bad Place than even you realize.”

Peter crosses his arms and stares the bigger man down victoriously. “I told you.”

The Judge lets out a long sigh, “I’ll have my best people look into it and if you’re correct...I’ll make it right, because that’s my job.”

Peter is returned to his every day existence and does his best to hide his deceit from Tony. Though, he does not seemingly have long to wait to learn to the fate of himself or his friends.

Just as the upper management arrive to take them all to eternal torment, the Judge returns with his findings.

Something is indeed wrong in the Afterlife. There are souls in the Bad Place that were never meant to be there. Clerical errors that may be (but probably are not) a mistake resulted in the damnation of an undisclosed number of human souls. These souls would be immediately relocated to their correct resting place. Peter included.

“What about Tony?” Peter cannot just let that go.

The Judge rolls his one good eye as he looks down at the kid again. “You won, Kid, enjoy your victory.”

“I can’t. Not if Tony is going to stay here. He doesn’t deserve to be here....”

“Look, you were right. He can feel love. He does, in fact, feel love. But he’s a demon and there’s not a damn thing I can do about where he is. If he were human maybe...”

“Than make him human. Let him live. If he sucks he can suffer here like he’s going to anyway and if he doesn’t than he can be with me there...in the Good Place.”

The Judge narrows his one good eye at Peter. “It’s a reasonable compromise, but I’ll only consider it on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You go back with him. Tony can be human but he’ll have no memory of any of this. Not until he dies and comes back here. I will erase the moment of your death, return you to your life as if you have always been there. If you really want, you can retain some memory of all of this as a near death experience because I have a soft spot for wise ass kids. I’ll even make sure you cross paths with Tony while you’re there. But you live your life and you take whatever Afterlife you earn. If Tony leads you down a dark path, you’re back here. If you manage to reform a demon, you can both shine your halos into perpetuity. Sound fair?”

Peter is sure this is a trap, but he cannot see how he can refuse. Despite the protestations he can hear coming from Tony where is he is being restrained by demons several yards away, Peter nods his agreement and the world goes dark.

~ ~ ~

It isn’t nearly as hard to get used to being alive again as Peter thought it would be. Details are a bit fuzzy when it comes to the Bad Place. He remembers some things better than others and wonders about the Jeremy Bearimy of it all because Flash is still very much alive when Peter is given his newfound lease on life. He’s literally never going to get away from that guy.

Peter has no idea when or where he will encounter Tony again, but he waits eagerly for the chance. He is still daydreaming about the demon when he’s being led into the office of his new boss on the first day of his internship exactly a month after his resurrection.

“Peter, this is Tony Stark...”

Anything else Ms. Potts has to say to Peter is completely lost to him as he takes in the roguish form of his devilish lover. Peter cannot hide the smile from forming on his lips as Tony holds out a hand to shake.

“Wish I could say it was nice to meet you, Kid, but being my intern is probably going to be Hell.”

“I don’t doubt it, Mr. Stark, but I can’t think of any place I’d rather be.”

[nodesiretogrowup]

LET’S GET READY TO RE-CAAAAAAAAP

“I have numerous science-based questions” I mean, same. It also sets up that Huey is gonna be out of his element this episode

SCROOGE HAS NO TIME FOR SCIENCE

“I AM THAT CHAMPION.” A bit full of yourself there. I couldn’t hear this line without saying “I’M. THAT. HERO.” Oh VeggieTales, you’ll always be with me

THEY ALL LOOK SO ADORABLE!!

I like that Louie does a finger gun when Scrooge gets to him

Like I said earlier, I DO NOT care Scrooge already putting pressure on these kids

Poor Dewey seems like he’s the unfavorite, which is probably how Donald felt as well

Huey makes a good point and I do NOT like how dismissive Scrooge is of the twins

That being said...they totally killed someone in battle

SOMEDAY WE’LL FIND IT, THE RAINBOW CONNECTION!

Why didn’t Launchpad crash? I know he can land w/o crashing but it’s usually when he lands in water. THIS FEELS IMPORTANT SOMEHOW though it probably isn’t

“THEY FOUND A WAY TO MAKE RAINBOWS BETTER!” God, I love Webby

“This is the best day.” WEBBY, YOU ARE REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS OF ADORABLE

Birds with beards look odd

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” Poor Huey, magic and mythology aren’t his strong point

I love that it says Odin’s Closet over the shirts. It’s the little details

“Guess Louie knows what Louie’s doing today.” And then he disappears into the shirts. I can appreciate someone who knows what they’re about

I want ALL the shirts from this episode!

“WHOA, IT’S WRESTLING!” He looks so dang happy, it’s ADORABLE

“THIS IS AWESOME!” Chanting is fun

“So these guys just copied professional wrestling?” Huey, you’re form of logic is not welcome here

Does that mean Scrooge told someone about his battles and inspired them to create pro wrestling? I’m gonna go with that

“And they will love me for it!” Dewey, sweetie, that’s only how it works half the time

I loved all the man-snake stuff. Made me giggle

Man snake be THICC. HOT DAMN

I love the little pig ref. HE’S SO CUTE

Jormungandr knows how to pump up a crowd

So, like, is everyone in the audience technically DEAD?! That makes this episode slightly darker. I dig it

 I wonder if Jormungandr sees Earth’s destruction as a good thing for Earth. Like if he genuinely thinks they’d be better off in Valhalla. Or if he’s just a bastard who wants to watch the world burn

Scrooge is a bit too into playing the heel

The way Scrooge moves and the faces he makes as the Millionaire Miser remind me of Glomgold

“I watch a lot of wrestling while I fly.” “Wait, while?” This exchange always cracks me up

“Uncle Scrooge is the greatest hero of all time.” “Huh, I guess not everyone thinks so.” I feel like this is foreshadowing later events

RIP Announcer Puffin

“DIBS ON ANNOUNCING!” A dude just got KO’d bro! Have a bit of respect

And the return of the dynamic sports announcer duo. Glad Huey got his badge

I NEED MORE WRESTLING ANNOUNCER LP

Strongbeard is DOPE

“How did you know that?” “Just calling it like I see it. WRESTLING!” The real reason Launchpad knows is because he’s actually Thor but doesn’t remember. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

FEAR THE BEARD

“What matters is I’m doing the right thing.” I don’t know, you really seem to enjoy being a heel

This whole match is great

Dewey, there ARE NO RULES IN WRESTLING. Plus you aren’t the ref, so you can’t make that call

I have very inappropriate jokes go through my head when only one arm absorbs the beard energy

“I am so confused.” CONSTANT MOOD

DID SCROOGE NARUTO RUN AT STRONGBEARD?!

I like that Scrooge dives onto him the same way he dives into his bin

LP is so excited he pushes Huey out of the way for NO REASON

HOLY FUCK THAT DUDE THREW A CHAIR AT A CHILD!

All the bone cracking in this episode made me uncomfortable, as in my bones hurt during it

“He is such a good guy.” I’d say he’s a fair guy, not necessarily a good guy

“Which two of you will fight for me?” Webby has been waiting for this moment her WHOLE LIFE

Louie, always taking time to make that money

Who gave him a shirt cannon?!

I love that the dude comes up wearing the shirt

Dewey just slaps Scrooge in the face

Champ POPular! Too cute! I love his hair and outfit. Though I don’t think Champ POPular’s “too popular to hate.” If anything he might annoy people due to his popularity

I thought he was gonna pull out yo-yos as his “finishing touch” and I was sad when it was lollipops even though that makes more sense. BRING BACK THE YO-YOS!

“Do all the fighting and make sure he doesn’t die.” That is a valid concern

WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! I’D KNOW IT ANYWHERE

Huey taking notes is adorable

“Just in time for the tag-team round.” “Wait, they’re playing tag now?! MAN!” I love how Danny says MAN

How does Huey not know what a tag-team is? It’s a pretty common term

I love Launchpad’s reading face

Dewey has red, blue, and green lollipops. Cute

“HE’S THROWING LOLLIPOPS BECAUSE HE THINKS WE’RE SUCKERS!” That took me off guard and I laughed so hard

“I’ve known you my whole life, I kinda knew how this would play out.” Louie is genre savvy. Perhaps too savvy. He’s gonna figure out he’s in a tv show

“More like Champ POP..ulation zero because he has no friends...in Friendtown.” I fail to see how that was any worse than LP’s “more like Champ UN-POPular.”

“WE HATE YOU NOW!” Tough crowd

Huey’s face after that. I just want to pinch his lil cheeks

WEBBY DON’T NEED NO WRESTLER NAME

It TOTALLY went over my head that they censored Hela with Hecka (at least they used her better than the MCU did. WE COULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BETTER)

I would let her pin me to the mat and crush my skull in

“Oh, COME ON, THIS is what you like?! A creepy goth and her pet dog!” SHUT UP, DEWEY, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT! I’m surprised Webby didn’t slap him for the “creepy goth” comment seeing as Lena is goth and misunderstood

“HECKA YEAH! HECKA YEAH!” SHE’S SO COOL AND SEXY AND SHE HAS A DOG

Poor Huey, he’s doing his best. Hope he takes a shower later because he got pretty sweaty

HECKA COULD STEP ON ME AND I’D SAY THANK YOU

Why did Huey have all those corn puns?

“YOU’RE THE WORST! YOU’RE THE WORST!” It’s just not Huey’s day

“You don’t have to try to make it sound great, it already is.” Did this remind anyone else of Dewey’s “don’t overthink it” advice to Launchpad from Double-O Duck? He’s doing his best to help Huey

I WANT HECKA TO DESTROY ME

“EMBRACE THE BOOZE BOOS.”

Poor Dewey

WEBBY IS A BEAST! SHE WAS BORN FOR THIS!

“EMBRACE YOUR INNER HEEL!” Cuz being a heel is fun!

DUDE, WEBBY TOOK DOWN THE GODDESS OF DEATH WITH NOTHING BUT HER LEGS AND THIGHS! WE STAN!

I like that Fenny has knee pads on

“AW, YOU’RE SO DANGEROUS AND CUTE! I JUST WANT TO PET YOUR LITTLE BELLY!” WEBBY IS ME

“A classic ‘who’s a good boy?’ gambit!” AND I’D FALL FOR IT TOO! SUCH A GOOD BOI

“Wait, am I the Launchpad here?” Bitch, you WISH

“YOU CAN’T GIVE CANDY TO A DOG!” This is why you don’t have a pet, Dewey

“WHOA, back from THE DEAD for the QUEEN of the DEAD!”

Kind of a dick move, Louie

AIR GUITAR!

Jormungandr looks like a Masters of the Universe knock-off toy

WHO’S A GOOD BOI? YOU ARE!

“With a toxic personality” I think you’re projecting a bit, Jormungandr 

How does Huey not know what a battle royale is? That is a very common term! Hell, there is a well known book and movie with that title!

“I’m just a humble, noble snake man of the people.” Why does the term snake man make me laugh so much?  

WOY REFERENCE FTW

Dewey needs a hug! And some therapy would probably be a good idea

Scrooge’s speech started on a good note then went downhill FAST

“And lastly, I’ll use the dust of your bones as sweetener in my tea.” DAMN

“TOO FAR!” I DON’T THINK IT’S FAR ENOUGH! TELL HIM HOW YOU WILL BATHE IN HIS BLOOD

FUCK YEAH BEAKLEY!

SHE GAVE HIM THE CHAIR! I think this CONFIRMS Beakley as a wrestling fan

“I know we’re supposed to take over for Scrooge one day, but do you ever wonder if maybe we’re not cut out for it?” YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WONDER THOSE THINGS AT ALL! 

Louie’s like WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!

“Be LP” My new mantra

Aw, Louie sees Dewey as a hero. Like how LP saw Drake as a hero. I think @drakepad is onto something, this scene and the fight scene seem WAAAAY too much like Drake’s intro to be just a coincidence

I keep saying this, but Louie should consider a career in motivational speaking. He knows what people need to hear

“Let’s do this!” “I don’t know.” “Let’s Dewey this?” “I’m in.”

“I’LL SHED YOUR SKIN FOR YOU!” If he hadn’t of had an old man back moment that would have been a BRUTAL CUT

OMG WAS LAUNCHPAD WEARING THAT THE WHOLE TIME? You see his clothes fly off when he jumps in the ring

“Whoa. In a COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED TWIST, the announcer was Captain Crash THIS WHOLE TIME!” LP does underground wrestling matches in his spare time, TELL ME I’M WRONG

“YOUR CATCHPHRASES ARE FORCED!” I agree, Dewey could have done WAY BETTER

I like Louie just GLARING at the dude who insulted Dewey’s catchphrase

LP looks so proud of Huey

“I don’t care at all, why should I?” Methinks the snake man doth protest too much

I like how Jormungandr’s pupils are thinner during the climax. It shows off his true nature

Dewey should have been the one to do a spin attack, ya know, cuz he’s Sonic? I’ll go now

“The Pop never Stops.” That was better

WHERE ARE ALL THESE CHAIRS COMING FROM?!

I LEGIT thought Strongbeard was gonna throw Dewey his axe and I was like Dewey wouldn’t be able to lift that

SUPER SAIYAN DEWEY! Also was that a TIGER SNARL?

I like the ice pack on Launchpad’s head. Just because he can take a lot of damage doesn’t mean that LP is immune to pain

I like that the crowd CHANGED THEIR BANNERS! Nice

LOUIE AND WEBBY LOOKED SO CUTE!

LP tearing up

“A true people’s hero” I feel like that phrase will come back in relation to other characters (cough DW cough)

Scrooge is such a little shit, it’s kind of adorable

THAT END SHOT! THAT SONG!

This was a SUPER FUN EPISODE! I couldn’t really tell where they were going and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! I wish we had gotten Huey in some wrestling gear but maybe next time. I like the message that doing the right thing isn’t always popular but I kind of feel like Dewey getting the crowd on his side muddled the message somewhat. Poor Dewey needs therapy or something so he doesn’t feel like he needs CONSTANT approval. Again, he’s 11 YEARS OLD and shouldn’t be put into such a serious position. LP was VIP this episode. I’m bummed we’re on hiatus again, but WHAT an episode to end on!

[galaxy-creationz]

A long and controversial fandom analysis:

I have *~thoughts~* about Stargirl and shipping and stuff but it’s gonna look like I’m trying to start beef with a certain 1 or 2 people here (one of which I follow oof) so if you’re reading this (you know who you are), I just want to say that I’m not. Though it’d be best if you didn’t read this because my opinion is very different from yours. I’m sorry, block me if you want, it’s nothing personal, I won’t be offended, but I just wanted to post this. 

Okay, if you aren’t one of the people I implied, take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is my personal opinion and I am not attacking anyone. And please read the tags.

I am open to (respectful!) debating, so here we go. Here’s the hot takes that could possibly start a ship war, though I pray that we are all mature enough to prevent it: 

My opinions on who I ship and also Courtney’s orientation, the short answer:

I ship her with both Yolanda and Cameron. Sorta. And my personal headcanon is that she’s attracted to both boys and girls (idk about specific labels tho) but she doesn’t know this until later. 

And here’s the long answer: 

I know that Camney will be canon at some point (sorry that’s just the truth), though a cast member that I can’t recall exactly who but I know is a cast member, said that their relationship will be “complicated”. Now, I have no idea how to interpret this, as said cast member was pretty vague about it.  

I know that Cameron finding out about his father’s death and (possibly?) turning evil will most likely be the reason, but I feel like there’s more.

Now, after some digging, I found out about his character in the comics. (Comic fans will probably know where this is going.) If they do bring this in, this gives another layer to the complicated-ness that the ship will be in season 2. 

In my ideal season 2, he and Courtney will date for a few episodes, then he’ll realize that he isn’t attracted to her (or not, according to what the writers decide to do with him) and break up. After this, Courtney will go to Yolanda for comfort which leads to them catching feelings for each other and then they date and Wildstar will be endgame. The end. If it doesn’t then I’m also chill with that but that’s just my favorite speculation.

Of course, this isn’t likely (but then again, I’m sure the writers won’t erase his identity for fear of backlash). Here are several other scenarios, which I’m also chill with:

1. He still turns evil but Courtney doesn’t know this until later. When she finds out, there is angst and a breakup, which either leads to them getting back together by the end of the season or Courtney ending up with someone else, whether it’s a new character or an existing one. 

2. If they don’t get back together, Courtney can still end up getting with Yolanda like in my ideal scenario. The same thing happens. 

3. Or Cameron doesn’t turn evil and the complicated-ness is all from finding out who his dad is (was) and there is less angst but he and Courtney stay together. 

Now, I might be saying this because I just dislike Camney a lot less than everyone else here, or I genuinely ship it,  which brings me to my next point:

I don’t know how I feel about the ship, or the other one. Like, at all. 

Am I just shipping it because it’s gonna be canon at some point? 

Do I actually like Camney more than Wildstar but I’m repressing that part of me for fear of being an outcast in the Tumblr fandom?

Do I not even like Wildstar and only ship them (and write a fic about  them) because everyone practically peer pressured me into it?

Do I secretly only ship Wildstar, and is my brain just tricking me into thinking I ship Camney because I ship the canon ships in other fandoms and is preparing me for when they become canon?

This gets even crazier when I factor in another one of Courtney’s potential (or just popular?) love interests, Cindy. 

Unlike most people in the fandom, I’m not a huge fan of her, especially because of what she did to Yolanda. It seems like everyone put the blame on Henry for that. Yes, he did have a part in it, but let’s not forget that it was 90% Cindy. 

I’ve seen claims that she’s coded to have feelings for Courtney, especially because of the tension (?) in their fight scenes. It was also confirmed by a cast member. People are also saying that the writers are trying to send the message that “straight good everything else bad”, but to be honest, I don’t see it. 

There are straight villains. (assuming that all those ISA pairings floating around are just crackships)

Also, Wildstar still has a chance of happening. 

Maybe I don’t like Starshiv as much as other people do because it reminds me of another ship. (Supergirl fans who follow me will know) Or maybe because I think Cindy is perfect as a villain and the only way the ship would work is if she had a redemption arc? Or because of the above reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s a good character, but just not a good person. 

I feel like in another world, if that Supergirl ship that it reminds me of didn’t exist, maybe I might’ve ended up a Starshiv shipper. But that’s not the world we live in. 

There are claims that the writers (one in particular) are homophobic. I don’t know enough about that one writer to say anything, but given that he’s an older straight man and Tumblr hates him, he probably is. But let’s not drop the H-word on everyone else. 

Which brings me to how disturbingly familiar this situation is to me. For those of you who aren’t in the Supergirl fandom, let me explain. 

Kara is the main character.  (Parallel to Courtney)

Lena (wow I didn’t censor her name for once) is a villain who is popularly shipped with her. (Parallel to Cindy but I genuinely hate Lena, and there is no confirmation that Lena is coded to have feelings for Kara)

William is supposedly Kara’s love interest. He has asked her out only once. (Parallel to Cameron but he’s 100% straight)

(I can’t find a character that’s the equivalent of Yolanda, so let’s just ignore her for this part.)

The resemblance is that I dislike Kara and Lena as a couple, but am partial to Kara and William, despite them not being my first choice as a ship. And the people who ship Kara with Lena tend to dislike William very, very much, claiming that he’s too boring.

Of course, with Supergirl being a much older show than Stargirl, this problem is 23894793847 times worse. We have people harassing the actors and sending  them death threats, and real person shipping is big, and they claim William to be abusive. 

I’m not saying that Starshiv shippers are as bad as that (obviously) but I’m scared they will be someday. Luckily, Wildstar is still more popular. 

Go ahead, hate Cameron if you want. He’s not real, so no feelings will be hurt. I am not implying that you will do this, so don’t take this the wrong way, but remember that his actor is real, has feelings, and is not the same as his character, so keep fiction and reality separate.

And please do the same with the other characters.

Anyways, to end this, let’s go back to where I started.

I feel like too many people think that Courtney can only like one gender. There’s the “fanon says it’s girls and canon says it’s boys” but like I said, she can like both so that’s what I think. 

The writers will most likely make her straight, and this is gonna make people really mad at them, causing a backlash that could potentially become like the Supergirl fandom’s. I hope not.

So, that’s my thoughts on Stargirl. Thank you for reading. I am fully prepared for a flood of anon hate coming after me. The second I get a hate ask, I’m closing my ask box for the next few days.

I’m gonna lose friends for this, aren’t I?

[mrsbhandari]

Artsy As Fuck - Screwdriver

Author’s note: HIIIII I def didn’t expect this to happen but here we are

Word count: 1527

Warnings: language, HEAVY SMUT, name calling, hate sex, the usual

Summary: Colt and Roze overcome some of their differences...kind of.  

Tag list (which im very excited about as I’ve never had one!! Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed :))

@omgjasminesimone, @edgiestwinter, @bucketofsoup, @donutsgirl36, @desireepow-1986, @lovehugsandcandy, @troublemakerinspace, @client-327

Masterlist

----------------------------------------------

Colt’s next call from the professor came a few days after his ‘date’ with Roze. They had barely texted in the time they’d been apart, which was fine by him. He thought she was pretty, but annoying in how headstrong she was. He was trying to help her and what does he get? Albeit, he was mostly doing it for selfish reasons.

Everyone in the world is selfish. I’m not a bad guy. He shook his head. No use thinking about it now. He was fiddling with his bike, trying anything to make it go impossibly faster, when he heard his coworker Logan speaking with someone near the entrance to the garage. Just the sound of his voice set Colt’s nerves alight, but after seeing Roze talking to him with a flirty smile tugging at her lips, he swore his sight went red for a second.

“‘Scuse me, pretty boy,” Colt interrupted, throwing his screwdriver aside and wiping his hands off on a clear spot on his overalls that were folded over on his body, revealing his sweaty tank top and a little bit of his boxers. Roze’s eyes raked over him, but she didn’t seem impressed. 

“Buzz off, Colt, I’m with a very important customer,” Logan shot back, sending a cheesy wink in Roze’s direction.

“Don’t worry about censoring yourself around her; Roze swears like a sailor.” If Logan was upset about Colt already knowing about Roze, he didn’t show it. “What are you doing here?” Colt turned his attention to her.

“Going to class. You’re modeling, remember? We’re doing dynamic positions with clothing today.” He hated to admit it, but the way her eyes lit up when she spoke of art made his heart flutter. 

“You’re cute and an artist? Wow,” Logan piped up, prompting a scoff from Colt as Roze smiled at his coworker again. 

“Roze, come with me. I need to make sure Mr. Smooth here keeps his greasy mitts off you.” He didn’t wait for a response before turning on his heel and walking down the hallway to his room, expecting Roze to follow. She reluctantly did, but complained when they got to the room together and shut the door. 

“What’s wrong with Logan?”

“He fucks anything with a pulse.”

“Your point?” Roze gave him a playful glare when he stammered and snapped his head to look at her laying casually on his bed. 

“I--I have to take a shower. Think you can keep it in your pants that long, or should I get Logan in here?” She laughed, sending another shock to his heart when he stepped into his small bathroom connected to his room. He kept the door cracked. “Weren’t you the one who was the most blushy when you saw me naked?”

“It wasn’t because you were naked, it was because you were hot.” Roze could feel the snark about to exit his mouth, so she quickly shut him down. “Then I heard you speak and changed my mind.”

“Oh, please, admit it: you think I’m sexy.” Colt’s voice carried over the steady stream of water from the shower. She didn’t respond, electing to take in her surroundings instead. His room was dark and macho, sparsely decorated besides the few posters tacked to the wall behind her. She recognized her own drawing of him from when he fixed her car and she stupidly ruined her chances with him when she was so nervous and everything that came out of her mouth was unintentionally hostile. She looked closer and realized that he had also pinned the gum wrapper she gave him and the receipt from the diner on the white space around her original picture. 

Is he just sentimental? She thought, confused as to why he would keep so much in their limited time together. This isn’t going to last forever. Is he just trying to be convincing? Just in case? 

The water turned off and Colt entered the room a few seconds later, naked except for the towel slung low on his hips, revealing a deep v-line and rippling muscles. Her eyes traced the dark path of hair under his navel until it disappeared under the fabric. “Why did you come so early? Class isn’t for another hour.”

“This was our first time doing the whole ‘arrive together’ thing, so I wanted to give us enough time.”

“You scoff when I call you uptight, and then you do something that proves my point.”

“Shut up.” She said it with no malice, looking instead at his exposed body that was sending heat directly to her core. He was annoying as hell but God, was he hot. He noticed her staring, the hard gaze making his dick twitch under the towel. 

“See something you like?” he teased, feet pattering over to her on the bed before he could convince himself not to. She stiffened on his blanket, waiting for him to do something. When he made it clear that the ball was in her court, she sighed, eye level with where his towel was hiding his hard-on. 

“Not really.” She tried to feign apathy, but couldn’t stop her breath from catching when Colt dropped his towel, exposing himself completely to her. He took a handful of her long hair and pulled her head back so that she was looking at his face with her neck exposed. He grew impossibly harder at the low moan she let out from the rough treatment. 

“Wanna try again?” 

Her breathing and heart rate quickened as she looked back down at his dick in front of her with half-open eyes, taking it in her hand and wrapping her lips around his shaft without a second thought, prompting a loud groan from Colt, whose hand was still tangled in her hair. He set a brutal pace, gasping when his tip hit the back of her throat and brought tears to her eyes. 

“You don’t like what you see? Well, how about what you taste, slut?” he said, pulling her off him and leaning down to give her a bruising kiss. He originally aimed for her swollen pink lips, but tilted his head at the last second to press it to her neck, suckling at the skin. “I’m not allowed to kiss you, remember?” Her hands clawed at his back, sure to leave marks that the art students would probably include in their drawings. Roze pulled away from him and stood from the bed to undress, berating him as her pants and shirt fell to the ground. 

‘You’re such a fucking asshole and I can’t believe I actually let you talk me into this whole fake dating plot, you cocky bast--!” He cut her off with a hard bite to her bare shoulder as soon as she was naked, his cock pressing into her stomach as he walked her backward to the wall before picking her up by her thighs. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her head back to the wall, overcome by the perfect feeling of his lips on her earlobe. Without warning, he pushed into her and let out a groan. “My pussy too good for you, Kaneko?” He answered with a rough thrust that left her gasping and incoherent.

“I should ask you the same thing about my cock, whore.” He punctuated his degrading nickname with a thrust and nipped his teeth into the sensitive skin behind her ear, causing her to moan loud from the combination of the feeling and the names. She screamed as he hit the perfect angle inside her, shocks of pleasure shooting up her spine. He grunted and let out a shaky breath as she clenched around him, feeling his release building and coiling in his stomach. Dropping her, he briefly pulled out of her and brought her to his empty desk, ignoring her whimpers when he bent her over so her breasts were pressed into the wood. The angle Colt thrusted at somehow made her louder, obsessed with finding her pleasure. She matched him thrust for thrust, screaming again when he landed a heavy hand on her ass.

“That’s right, scream for my cock, baby,” he called and the stark contrast between the sweet term of endearment and her quickly reddening ass sent her over the edge. 

“Colt, fuck!” Her nails dug into the wood beneath her as she climaxed, spasming around his dick. Feeling his own orgasm approaching, Colt pulled out and flipped her over so her back was on the desk and he was standing between her open legs. Running a hand down his shaft, he sent thick ribbons of his cum over her body, painting the tan skin of her stomach and breasts white. The sight of her body covered in him as she panted almost made him come again, but he managed to control himself. He found it harder to handle when she ran an index finger into the sticky liquid, coating a digit and sucking it clean. 

“Salty,” she mused, still breathing hard. 

“Jesus--” 

“Agreed.” Colt’s fingers were gripping her hip, sure to leave bruises to accompany the ones on her neck. 

“Wanna shower? We’ve still got half an hour.”

“Fuck yes, asshole.”

[fr33ksncr33ps]

Country Roads, Take Me Home

Hey so I got an idea from the comment section of this song to write a thing and I was like >:) spooky time

So thank you, No This Is Patrick, for the idea/prompt lmao

I should preface this by saying I don’t normally post my writing online, but I thought this was p decent so why not

TW: horror, woods, car crash depiction. roadside grave site, description of gore, description of blood, mention of slavery and the civil war

If there is anything you want me to tag or censor, please let me know!

 As a child, I had always hated Kentucky. It was my home state- I had a right to hate it. My friends and I used to call it ‘the place where nothing ever happens”, which was true, in a sense. Nothing ever really did happen. 

 One thing I didn’t hate about Kentucky, though, was the scenery. Most who live in Kentucky would call me insane- after all, it’s mostly hills and trees when you’re not in one of the cities like Louisville or Frankfort. But in a way, there was comfort in that. No matter where you were from in Kentucky, you could lose yourself in her hills and valleys; one way or another. There was always something old about Kentucky, particularly the roads. The way that the trees overhang so that you can hardly see the sky, the hillsides and mountains that sandwich either side of the road. I would find solace with my home state in car rides, the ground vibrating comfortably under the car, my only care being the crazy ass deer or an out of state driver. 

My buddy Hadir and I were driving back to his home state of West Virginia for a family reunion, and since i was the most familiar with the roads I offered to go with him. I drove at night through the near silent woods of my home state while he slept, he drove in the day time. 

We had just drove away from a gas station, bellies and throats burning with the after taste of Ale8 and shitty food. Hadir has already settled further back into his seat, basically becoming one with the blanket he had snuggly wrapped himself in. He was a heavy sleeper, even snoring on occasion, so I turned on the radio

. Static. Static. Bluegrass. Static. Static. Static. Some bible sermon. Static. 

I cursed under my breath and furrowed my brows; what was I expecting? I really should have brought a CD or something. I tried to keep my eyes up on the road while my fingers manhandled the ‘scan’ button on the radio. More static. The occasional “Super Sandy’s Super Sale”, which I snorted at. Was it really a Super Sale if it was always happening? More static. My eyes flicked up to the road as we continued down another gut flipping curve. 

My impatience died down as I finally reached a half decent station. The familiar opening lyrics of ‘Country Roads’ crackled through the radio, like it was fighting with the static to be heard. I smiled to myself, remembering that time in highschool some older kids brought their bluetooth speaker on the bus and played this until the bus driver got so sick of their shit that he pulled the bus onto the side of the road and ‘waited’. God, we were little shits.

My eyes focused back onto the road as it started to rain. ‘Shit’, I thought. ‘I can’t be drifting off like that when the roads are slick.’

As I regained my awareness, I began to realize something was sort of,, off. Nothing too terrible, but it was the radio. It was the same Country Roads, it had to be. But somehow it sounded,, sadder. Desperate, almost. 

The keys. The keys were different. I sort of laughed at my own jumpiness- my anxiety about driving on a rainy night must have manifested in some bullshit way, that’s why the song sounded different. There wasn’t a ‘Country Roads’ but in minor key released to the public, that was ridiculous. Even if there were, no radio station would play it. The rain began to beat down on the car, harder now.

But even so, I couldn’t fully get rid of the sinking feeling in my stomach. Before I had known it, I was almost to the verge of tears. The desperation, the need to be heard, the guilt in “ I hear her voice in the morning hour as she calls me “. It was all too much. There was a pit in my stomach, a pit that this song was crawling out of., and clawing up my throat, threatening to spill out in a loud sob. I gritted my teeth as tears made my eyes just as hard to see through as my windshield. I turned on the windshield wipers, and wiped my own eyes.

“Goddammit, man” I growled to myself as I looked back up to the road. There was someone walking on the side of the road, alone, probably drenched. My headlights barely caught them.  If I hadn't have been paying attention just them, I could have hit this guy, or crashed the car and killed Hadir. What would I say then, to his parents? “Oh sorry I killed your son by crashing the car, the song on the radio was just really sad”.

It was a long, dark stretch of road, the guard rails rusted and falling apart, with the only standing ones having small reflective squares attached to them. The trees loomed over in a shapeless silhouette, the sky nearly invisible save for a sliver of dark clouds. Against the grey and black, the person barely stood out. Almost like they were a part of the landscape. Their grey coat was probably slick with rain, a darker grey hat sticking to their head as the rain poured down. I felt a twinge in my stomach, a twinge of pity.

I weighed my options quickly; there was two of us, me and Hadir, and Sikh’s are supposed to carry those tiny ass swords right? So if the person were to try anything, we would both probably be okay. After all, I had taken a couple of self defense classes in my youth- and by self defense classes I mean my cousin and I choked each other out in the living room while my uncle told us how to probably subdue a person.

As my car drew nearer, I made my decision. I slowed, rolling my window down as I approached. Anxiety knotted in my stomach, but my mind told me it was at least polite to offer. After all, how would I feel if I had to walk home in the middle of the night in the rain? 

As I pulled up, the stranger turned to look at me, and the knots in my stomach instantly tightened. 

He was and old man, about 70 or 80, with crows feet wrinkles around his soft eyes and a flat, freckled nose. His scruffy grey beard covered most of dark face, but I was still able to see his gentle smile. He reminded me so much of my grandfather, and my heart couldn’t help but break at the thought of my Papaw having to walk home so late at night in the rain.

All apprehension from before hand melted away in an instant. “Hey!” I said, sticking my head sort of out the window, trying to appear friendly.

“Howdy” He replied, in that sort of garbled way that really old people do. Where you can sort of understand them, but it sounds more like they’re mumbling.

“Where ya headed to?” I asked, sort of slipping back into the accent of my home state.

“I’m uh, headed home.” He smiled, like he was trying to ignore the rain soaking him from head to toe.

“Is that far from here? I can drive you if you’d like.”

“Oh bless yer heart, I’d appreciate that but my home’s on the other side of the bridge, in West Virginia.” 

“Well hey, you’re in luck, ‘cause that’s where I’m uh, headed.” I reassured him.

“Are ya sure? I’d hate to be a bother” His eyebrows creased as he glanced from me to Hadir, who was asleep in the seat next to me.

“Oh nah, it’d be fine.” I grinned at him.

After more convincing, I managed to coax him into the back seat, where he settled into the reflection of the backseat mirror. Once he had affirmed that he was buckled up, I drove forward and further down the road. He introduced himself as Wallace Stanfield.

It was only a few moments later that I remembered the radio, the song. I fumbled with the volume knob, apologizing. He grinned and reassured me it was all fine.

I continued to turn the knob to the point where it would be silent, but the song protested on through the speakers. I eventually decided to leave it be after I exclaimed “I dunno what’s wrong with this dang thing” to which I got a soft chuckle in response.

 “So, where is your home anyway?” I inquired, trying to gauge how much gas I needed, if I would need to buy any, etc.

He explained he lived on a property off in some holler in the boonies, that it was a farm property his mother had inherited from his grandfather, and so on. 

Soon enough I was invested in the story of his family, about how his great great grandfather had bought the land he had once been a slave on after the civil war, and how he had taught his children how to farm, and how they taught their children, all the way down to him. The farm hadn’t done well in the past four years, so he went to work everyday at a factory that was across the bridge, on the Kentucky side. He said he hated driving home, that the late nights made him drowsy and that he had fallen asleep at the wheel a couple of times, so he usually walked home in the summer and spring.

In my conversation, I had ignored the radio. Still, it rambled on. I never remember the song being this long? Was it always this long? As the stranger and I fell into a silence, the radio seemed to grow louder, clearer. I refocused my eyes on the road ahead, trying to get this guy home safe. 

Slowly, the car grew cold. It was almost like I was the only one there, not Hadir, not the stranger in my backseat. I could scarcely hear the rain over the song at this point, the beat of the windshield wipers like an after thought. I remembered when I was a kid, how I would look out the window and pretend there was something running alongside the car. I had to fight the urge to look to the left of me, out the window. I don’t know if it was caution towards to the road, or if I was afraid of what I would see. 

The radio started to glitch out, repeating that “take me home” part, over and over. Each time the radio repeated it’s line, the more distorted it became. Over and over, the radio cried out it’s plea, “take me home”,

I did see something, up ahead. A flash of white at first. Fear that I had somehow brought that horrible figment of my imagination into the world of the living. Even as I began to make out what it was, the sick feeling did not leave me. It was on of those roadside crosses, the ones marking car crashes. I had seen my fair share of them along winding roads as a kid to know exactly what it was. I scarcely made out what the name inscribed on it was. “Wilbur Hatsfield”? Maybe, I couldn’t really tell.

“The radio reminds me of my home far away

Driving down the road, I get a feeling that I-”

A wailing cry snapped me out of my trance, like I had been pulled into ice water. It was the sort of guttural horror that I had never heard before, a shriek pulled straight from his rib cage and out of his mouth, like god himself would smite him if he did not scream.

I glanced into the mirror; it was him, the man. Or at least, I think it was him, from what I could see. His face and skin were shredded almost, the skin of his face peeled harshly back like he had been dragged down the road, teeth exposed and tongue poking from his ram shackled jaw. His clothes soaked in blood, fragments of his bones poking out of his limbs in every which way. He shrieked in a way that I can only describe as agony mixed with guilt.

His neck creaked and popped as he snapped it to look at me. 

“I should have been home yesterday” he cried in desperation, tears pouring from his eyes, his throat bulging as he gasped for air.

I didn’t know what to do- why was this happening, is he okay? Why isn’t Hadir waking up? Do I say something? What do I do? 

All I could do was accelerate the car faster, the screeching of the tires making poor attempts to drown out the man’s screams. The bridge came into sight, the bridge that connects the two states. I slammed my foot on the petal, not know what else to do.

Just as we passed over the bridge- it stopped.

And I mean it all stopped.

The screaming had been cut off at its crescendo, the radio shut off or died in it’s haste, even the rain seemed to halt. As I sped past a sign that read “Welcome to West Virginia” the only thing I was left with was me crying, Hadir snoring, and an overwhelming sense of sadness.

That sickening feeling never left me, even as my eyes grew heavier and I felt I should pull over and let Hadir drive. God, I missed my family, my girlfriend. I wonder how they’re doing?

I really should have been home yesterday.

[alistairlowes]

Okay you really (obviously) do not have to answer this if you don't want to but i've been wanting to watch vld but the i've seen people refer to it as the "v slur" or like tagging their posts with content warnings? I was just wondering why and what happened with the show but it's 100% okay if you don't wanna answer

hi! i’m fine with answering it’s under read more because idk how to explain without writing an essay

contains spoilers!

i’m giving an overview because it’s been a while and it would take me 3 days to explain everything that actually went down with that show and it’s production.

first things first, i think most of the fandom will agree first 2-3 seasons of vld were actually good. the animation, art and music were always on point. generally majority of the problems could be tracked to showrunners joaquim dos santos and lauren montgomery. if you watched the show without much background context and focused purely on storytelling… like it would still suck but it probably wouldn’t make you as angry. as someone who actually followed interviews and production and can’t look at it inside vacuum, i’ll summarize it like this:

plot had no sense of direction. jds and lm said they didn’t have a plan instead the writing was done as the show went on. which is why the plot is all over the place.

too many characters. none of them properly developed. even main characters were eventually stripped to their main traits (ex. hunk making food jokes; lance being comic relief), not addressing any trauma characters experienced and you can actually tell which characters were prioritized.

shiro was originally supposed to die. but because his toys were selling and capitalism always wins jds and lm had to keep him alive which resulted in some very weird and non logical arcs for him.

queerbaiting. this one will vary depending on who you ask because a lot of people pointed out show did bating with “certain” scenes. now listen, EVEN if we ignored that this is still where they fucked up the most. big part of the older audience consisted out of either lgbt fans or shippers and production was very aware of that (ex. they tagged trailers with #klance and they also sold merch which had only keith and lance on it which is…yeah). now the worst part. during season 7 promotion they announced we would meet shiro’s love interest that season. said love interest was a man and shiro (you know character they previously wanted to kill) was actually gay and suddenly very important representation. so naturally fans were excited. that ended up with them killing off love interest (ex-fiancé) in the first episode of the season. also i remember two voiceover version existed, one being more censored. the show ends with shiro marrying a guy (which should be a big win for kid’s cartoons). however those screenshots leaked before final season aired and by the time it did they changed guy who he married from one random bg character to another one. instead of owning up to having lgbt characters they put wedding scene at the end which made them avoid any potential backlash of financial loss. there was also some wlw baiting but it doesn’t matter they killed them off too.

forced tragedy porn. in an interview jds and lm stated they wanted to kill and hurt more of the characters but the weren’t allowed to. allura (one of only 2 main female chars) dies in the end as some kind of heroic sacrifice and i can’t even begin to unpack everything wrong with that. after 8 seasons of lance pinning after her they got together just before she died which left him heartbroken and he decided to become a farmer because you know makes sense. lotor who was off and on villain died melted in a chair (this is still technically kids cartoon and that scene was terrifying). there’s also constant shiro torture.

toxic fandom. although not exclusively fault of the shippers they did bring the bad name to the fandom. constant ship wars, people asking ship questions on every panel, harassing everyone involved, showing nsfw art to voice actors (yes really). by the end actors didn’t wanna do anything with the show either. they usually did panels after the new season but s8 was so bad not even jds or lm dared to do one <\3

there was more drama and a lot of rumors but i won't include those because i don't know how true they are. voltron is basically what happens when you have a big demanding fandom and tone deaf showrunners. there is few video essays on it on youtube if you want to know more about issues with the plot and other stuff. censoring tags and trigger warning became like one of those fandom things as a result of fans who were disappointed. vld became he who must not be named basically lmao.