#I certainly learned something making it

[onefriendeveryday]

Ada - 8/3/2023

The two hundred and fifty third friend. A cog in honour by Ada Lovelace. She was born in England in 1815, though her parents separated shortly after she was born and her father left the country forever. She was horribly ill for most of her childhood and could barely walk for a long time. She was privately educated when she was young. She then educated herself with help from the professor of mathematics at the University of London. She was introduced to Charles Babbage in 1833 and became interested on his work. In 1835, she married William King She translated and annotated an article by an Italian mathematician and engineer in the early 1840s. These annotations contain what is considered to be the first computer program, though some say Babbage's notes contained earlier examples. Her and Babbage built a machine called the Analytical Engine, a machine which is considered to be the first computer, and the majority of it was built by Ada herself. In 1852, she died of cancer, though she is still remembered for her contributions to computing. An early programming language was named after her and the second Tuesday in October is now celebrated in her honour.

Here is a link to the article I got most of my information on her from, in case anyone wants to do any further reading.

[viperwhispered]

Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Eta: you can find part 3 here, part 4 here, and finally part 5 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

[jichanxo]

oh god, i miss you (song/tl)

[londonfoginacup]

.

[bluespring864]

rafole and fedal posting selfies that get over one million likes novandy could never 😃

Nah, Novandy is for people with real taste, not for the masses ;-)

[theamazingannie]

The thing with Chappell Roan right now, and celebrities in general, makes me so sad and it’s been going on for so long and shows a general lack of empathy in human society even when it comes to those we claim to love. But I also realized it can be applied to so many other careers and promotes this toxic culture of things never getting better. I worked food service for around five years. I knew going in the reputation of customers and Karens and how bad it could be. And it was bad. But I also enjoyed the work outside of that and could even have fun and that kept me going when a customer would scream at me over a wrong order I had nothing to do with. Did I deserve to be yelled at at this job because I knew going in it was a possibility? Do people just shrug their shoulders and say, “Oh it’s just part of the job”? I’m sure Karens do. So how is a Karen screaming at an underpaid worker any different than a stalker fan throwing a fit because their favorite artist is off the clock and doesn’t want a picture with them? Should Karens be allowed to yell at food service workers when they see them around town? Should food service workers be forced to make food for customers when they’re off the clock? Why do we have common sense when it comes to everyday workers and then completely lose our minds when it comes to celebrities? Why are we entitled to their lives 24/7 just because they make music that we like? Their job is to put out music, promote it, and then go on tours and perform their music. That’s it. MAYBE they also do official meet and greets. Anything else is a consensual exchange between the two of you. It’s like helping a customer find something at Target when you’re just there shopping and not working a shift. You don’t have to, no one would expect you to, and yeah it would be nice, but NO ONE should be EXPECTED to. It’s about time we start treating celebrities like any other employee.

[tallymali]

actually in every considerable age gap situation i have been in, ive felt like i had the upper hand both intellectually and emotionally (as in emotional intelligence and the ability to express my feelings honestly and objectively)

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

"the Commander getting an elixir that allows them to talk to any animals that wish to speak with them is definitely a concept that I will use entirely responsibly" I say as a lying liar who tells lies.

[non-un-topo]

Spending hours trying to figure out why I feel so irritable and sensitive today and I’m only realizing now it might have something to do w being invited to a birthday party full of an entire family I’ve never met and like seven very small children and the person inviting me assuming I would love that. I want to support her bc I like her and she’s family now, but I cannot---I will not---go to another family event and be pushed into the kitchen doing dishes with the women or cooing over someone’s baby who just stares at me and whines when I try to mask and say hello.

[dahldahlbills]

starting to realize podcast writing might be so difficult for me bc I don’t like episodic writing.. I miss my big storylines and slowly building up to something

[charlemane]

learning how to swiss darn has made me insufferable to myself, but i stay having fun with it

[lindwurmkai]

haha tfw your silly little tags get reblogged 😳

but really tho ... i don't think the relationship between autistic masking and the autistic struggle to be disobedient is as straightforward as that article made it out to be. my ability to mask has become worse and worse over time and sometimes i barely even try anymore, yet i did not magically develop better distress tolerance through this. in fact i can be so distressed that masking and thinking becomes impossible, so my entire brain is [very loud static noise] and i'll agree with anything you say to me just to get out of the situation faster while coming across as very, very weird

[xerospaced]

Final thoughts

Yesterday, once again, gave confirmation that the man who is vocal, happy to profess his love and claim you, snaps you up without appreciating the value of waiting, is loud and proud, eager to talk you up and show you off

Is not necessarily the man you ought to depend on nor trust

And once again, the day taught me that the man who moves mindfully, who is cautious when he speaks, avoids inflating your ego, resists luring you into a false sense of comfortability, and moderates his expression of affection

Is often one who possesses the greatest consideration of your feelings

This time, I got a third-person perspective. Unfortunately, impacting someone I love who is deserving of far better

From the mouth of a man so sure in his conviction when he came to his conclusion about my situation despite knowing little to nothing about it as he proudly proclaimed how they manage their relationship

I'm not one for convincing, and, far from being convinced myself, I let him spout his rhetoric

To bear witness, not two months later, the realities of the vapid and changeable intention of man so quick to talk and act without pause

And immediately following that heinous transgression, be rewarded with the reassurance and satisfaction of a man quite his opposite, slow to move and resistant in falling into connection simply based on affection

I would rather the slow. The sure. The patient. The reason.

I would rather the one consistent in distance who is vocal more often when it comes to maintaining our heads and keeping clear vision. Than the man who possesses a tongue quicker than wisdom and opts into the format of loving and commitment before taking time to sit and just listen to what he truly wants, who he's really with, where the desire is rooted and what it is seeking.

I am done trusting men who talk quick and jump quicker.

Half of them don't even know they don't mean it.

This weekend has brought a lot of realities about relationships to the surface. And has reaffirmed my contentment of the space I'm in, giving confirmation to validity of the pace that has been taken.

Pause. Know yourself. Consider the nuance and depths of your feelings. And stop filling peoples heads with dreams and well wishes and fantasies of the wonderful lives y'all could be living. If you just took the time, you might avoid all this nonsense and notice the difference between fun for the moment and potential of significance.

[designernishiki]

I will maybe make a bigger post at some point about other characters’ dnd classes but. thought about it. kiryu would be a battlemaster fighter multiclassed into oath of vengeance paladin. end of statement

[faaun]

my head hurts and i wanna cry . affectionate

[gyrovagi]

eloy and alistair's relationship in one image