#I did not get a birthday present this year because I did not answer her message what I wanted to have in time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkdrinkerworld · 2 months

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High Hopes 3

part one part two

cw: reader comes from a very tense and abusive home, verbal abuse, allusion to physical abuse, bad sibling relationships, fluff, angst, Remus is a sweetheart and the best almost bf ever

wc: 7.5k

Remus: On a scale of one to ten, how mad would you be if I said I found out your birthday passed and got you a gift?

You read the text as you’re exiting your class building and frown. Your birthday passed just after the new year, and you hadn’t told Remus because you hadn’t even been in the country.

In lieu of an answer, you call him. Remus picks up on the second ring.

“What did you get me?” He laughs down the line and you feel your stomach twist into knots.

“Hello to you too, princess.” Since the Summer weekend sleepover thing (you’d still not decided what to call it), Remus had decided that was your new nickname and as much as you pretended to hate it, you loved it more than the others.

“Hi Remus,” you breathe, eyes on the street as you cross and begin the walk back to your apartment. “What did you get me?”

You can just tell he’s shaking his head. “It’s a present, why would I spoil that surprise?”

“Because I’m impatient?” You rebut quickly. The walk back to your apartment is short, but the lingering winter makes it feel never ending.

It also doesn’t help that you’d chosen style over cosiness- you’re in a long sleeved baby blue dress and a pair of boots that barely lick past your ankles.

“I’m at your apartment, dove. I’ll give it to you when you get here.”

Your eyes widen at the same time your heart constricts. “Remus, I’ve got like ten minutes left on my walk back!”

As easily as he suggests anything to you, “Do you want me to come get you? It’s minus four right now.”

“No, that wouldn’t make any sense,” you hear his car start. “Remus Lupin, I’m serious, I’m like one street away.”

“So I’ll cut your walk short,” The engine roars across the line. “It’s cold, baby.” The fondness in his voice and his sparsely given ‘baby’ is what makes you stop.

“Fine,” you try to sound much grumpier than you are and fail. “I’m at the coffee shop on the left.”

Ten seconds later, Remus is there; his grey car collecting droplets of fine snow.

“Hi,” you say as you slide in the passenger seat, your hands rubbing together making Remus frown.

“And you wanted to finish the walk.” He flicks on the heating as he turns and goes back where he came.

“How did you find out about my birthday?” You ask, fiddling with your bag to get out your water bottle.

“Marlene mentioned that you wouldn’t be able to spend it with her this year and I asked when it was.”

You hum, “It’s a little inconvenient having your birthday just after the new year,” Remus looks at you funny. “I like winter, don’t get me wrong, but a spring birthday would’ve been ideal. Like maybe in March.”

He rolls his eyes, pulling into your parking lot.

“How do you know when mine is?” He asks, helping you out of the car and then grabbing a bag out of the backseat.

“Sirius and James talk a lot. Your gift is currently in transit.”

Remus’ eyes shoot up, “When have you been hanging out with those two?” The ‘without me’ is implied and you look at him with a sly smile.

“Jealous, Remus?”

He tuts, figuring you out immediately. “You’re not winding me up, princess.” He holds the door open for you as you walk in and Remus sighs as he gets a whiff of your newest perfume.

The couple of times he’s been to see you since the start of the semester, you’ve been wearing this intoxicatingly creamy vanilla perfume that has just a touch of something spicy to it that has been driving him mad.

“Why would I be winding you up?” You toe off your boots and then look at him. “I’m gonna take the fastest shower known to man, but there’s food in the fridge and cookies in a Tupperware somewhere on the counter.”

Remus shakes his head, setting his shoes beside yours. “I’ll wait for you, take your time.”

You’re out of the bathroom in twenty minutes, in a matching jewel blue set of loungewear and a pair of socks.

Your hair is tied back exposing a tiny tattoo behind your ear that Remus wants desperately to kiss. He’s on his laptop when you get out, typing away at what you assume is his book.

Remus doesn’t go here, he’s got a fancy writing degree already and he’s got an editing gig that he tries playing off as no big deal- but it is.

He’s on ‘vacation’ though- meaning, he’s been on sick leave for the last four days so he can spend your first week back at school with you. Not that you know he’s been using his sick days for you.

“Is roti okay? My mama dropped off some this morning.” Remus has yet to meet the old woman, but the fondness that overtakes your tone lets him know she’s at least half as lovely as you.

“It’s perfect, dove. What do you want to look at?” He sets about finding your newest psychological thriller- Hannibal- and then makes his way into the kitchen to help you.

“How was your day? I forgot to ask.” You mumble as you crack the ice into glasses before Remus pours some soda into them.

“It was alright, got a couple more pages done of the book and then got high with Sirius.”

You smile, a quiet smile that Remus thinks is going to stop his heart. “How was your classes?”

You groan, “Long, boring and even longer.” He chuckles, leaving you to bring the glasses while he brings both plates to the living room.

Remus sits in the corner of the sofa, he isn’t as slick as he thinks he is for sitting with a clearer view of the front door than you have.

You appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.

“Can I open the gift first?” Remus watches you with a rapt curiosity. He thinks you’re akin to a kid on Christmas- eyes bright, and hands shaking as you practically bounce in your seat.

“Yeah baby,” he can’t help the sticky affection that slowly coats his words- an affection that only grows and spreads like warm honey.

Remus watches you carefully tear the wrapping paper off the gift, his lips quirked just so as he watches your jaw drop.

“You didn’t,” you murmur, shock and disbelief in your voice as you pull the wooden box out of the wrapping paper.

“Open it,” the box in your lap is walnut colored, carved with spirals, flowers and dots and divots. The carvings are coloured in bright reds, oranges, yellows and some pinks.

The lock resembles an ancient rusted clasp lock and as you unlatch it and reveal rows and stairs of chains.

“Remus,” your voice is all clogged up and your bottom lip trembles and Remus wonders if he’s overdone it.

“Yeah?” Your fingers trail along the crystal chips on the chains and you find your heart has cracked open.

“This is the loveliest gift I’ve ever gotten,” the words are whispered into the air, your dinners cold as you take in every single chain in the box. “They’re for my glasses, yeah?”

“They are, pretty girl.”

Silently, you close the box and put it to the side. “Thank you,” you blink and your tears tumble down your cheeks. His hands reach to wipe your cheeks gently.

“You’re welcome.” You climb into his lap, Remus’ hands hold your hips.

“You know you’re the first person since Marlene to get me something thoughtful?”

Remus knows it’s meant to be a flippant comment, but his heart breaks for you.

“Dove,” your heart clenches. “You’re breaking my heart.” His hands move up to cup your cheeks.

“I don’t mean to,” you say softly, shrugging one shoulder but Remus sees past the nonchalance you’re trying to exude. He doesn’t understand how someone as lovely as you has been treated so weirdly.

He gives you an out though because he doesn’t want to push and push and push, “C’mon princess. Eat your dinner.” You take it and your plate as you press play.

Remus notices you don’t move out of his lap but only smiles when you turn and start eating.

“You’re staying the night?” You ask after you’ve both finished your dinner.

Remus inhales, “What time is your first class tomorrow?”

You pull away from him a little, “Eleven,” you have a hopeful look on your face that makes his answer easy.

“Yeah I’ll stay the night.”

You smile so big Remus thinks his heart stops.

Then you get serious, “Wait, how do you feel about sharing the bed?” You ask the question softly, and Remus frowns.

“I’ve shared the bed with you before, dove.”

You shake your head, “I have a um,” you stumble for the words. Remus smiles.

“A stuffy?” He asks quietly and you nod, nibbling away on your bottom lip.

“Yeah a little yellow duckie,” Remus’ smile only widens.

“That’s sweet, dove.”

“You don’t think it’s silly?” He shakes his head.

“How come I didn’t see it when we were at the other house?” He asks, his thumbs caressing your thighs.

“I put him back in my suitcase, and I felt really bad about it too. I left it unzipped a little,” Remus kisses your temple as he chuckles.

“You’re the sweetest fucking thing in the world.”

Changing the conversation, “Do you want chai?”

Remus’ eyebrows shoot up, “You have chai or do you need to make it?”

You shake your head, a tired smile that’s a little teasing, “Jamie dropped it off for me when he came to see Lils.”

Remus’ eyebrows shoot up even farther, “Jamie?”

You giggle, “Yeah, s’what you guys call him.”

Remus is a little indignant, “Jamie?” He repeats and you laugh even more.

“Are you jealous, Remus?”

Your hand reaches to the nape of his neck, twisting the sandy brown hair there as he deliberates.

“Of James getting a nickname?” He asks and you nod, letting your fingers scratch his scalp a little. “No dove,” Remus fights the shiver that threatens to climb his back. “I’m not even a little jealous,”

He leans into you, your noses bumping. “Why not?” Your breaths mingle as you lean even closer to Remus.

“Because,” his hand cups your neck, his thumbs punching your chin upwards. Your chest heaves, “You’re already breathless and I haven’t even kissed you yet, princess.”

“Please.”

Remus smirks, wicked and impish. “No,” you whine and Remus almost rethinks his answer. “Go heat up your chai, pretty girl.”

“You’re no fun,” you hop off his lap and head to the kitchen all the while Remus chuckles, his head against the back of the cushions as he watches you flit about the kitchen.

The next time Remus sees you it’s after possibly one of the worst days of your life in a long time. Everything had gone wrong and there’d been a pit in your stomach all the way to your apartment.

Just as you were about to walk in, your phone rang and without looking, you answered it.

“Why does that boy keep going to your apartment?”

You pull the phone from your ear and curse softly when you see, ‘Devil’s Right Hand,’ displayed on the screen.

“What?” You really don’t have the energy today.

Your father doesn’t seem to care though, “The boy. The one with the grey car.”

As if you’re ten and not a grown ass woman, “Because we’re friends.”

Simple, succinct and it would’ve been sufficient for any other regular parent.

Your dad is anything but.

“And he doesn’t leave till the morning? Do you think I’m an idiot?”

The ‘yes’ in your brain wants so badly to slide off your tongue. You manage to bite it back.

“I don’t understand the problem. I’m an adult, I can do as I please. You don’t even pay for the apartment, Mama does.”

You hear the low simmering anger in your father’s tone. “Your grandmother gives you too much leeway.”

You roll your eyes, “I’m not in the mood for a fight, was that all you wanted to know?”

“Girl, watch your tone, it’s not a long drive to your place.”

You shiver at the threat. “Can I go please? I have coursework to do and I’ve got exams to prep for later this week.”

“Oh sure, coursework. Come home this weekend, your grandparents are at the house on Sunday.”

Your body sags as you hang up the phone, the backs of your eyes burn with exhaustion.

With a sigh, you unlock the door and get into your apartment.

You don’t even bother to change or sit still, instead you just jump straight into your work; hours pass before your phone rings again.

This time, it’s Remus.

“Hey,” he doesn’t like your tone, or the way you sigh the word.

“Hi dove, I’m outside.”

You’re relieved when you see him. He looks warm and cosy. His hair looks pillow soft and his sweater is a faded yellow one against the brown of his corduroy jeans.

“I brought snacks,” he says, jingling a plastic bag in his hand.

You don’t smile quite as big as you normally would’ve and Remus frowns. “Long day?” He asks as he steps in, kissing your forehead when you nod.

“Yeah, I’m just finishing up my coursework and we can have dinner.”

Remus waits for you, busying himself with plating up dinner- leftover Chinese food from yesterday.

“C’mon baby,” he murmurs, rubbing your back as he sets both plates on the coffee table and starts the tv. “Have some food and then get back to it if you like, but I need you to eat.”

You look to argue, but he’s not commanding you. He’s not demanding anything from you, he’s nudging you to look after yourself.

For a moment, you get stuck in just looking at him and your mind whirs. Remus is unlike anyone else in your life- he doesn’t take, he doesn’t shout and make threats, he doesn’t force you into a box or anything of the sort.

Instead, he gives you room and watches you, watches you be yourself and encourages you to be yourself. It makes you emotional for a minute, the back of your throat burning as you come to the realisation.

“Coming,” you whisper, Remus’ eyes track your movements, and he smiles a little when you sit right up beside him, your forearms brushing.

Dinner is quiet, little conversation here and there because Remus can tell you’re exhausted.

In that sense, he washes up the dishes while you shower and he tidies up the living room before double checking your door is locked.

He’s pouring hot water over the tea bags when you come out of your room, dressed in the softest look pyjamas he’s ever seen.

“Oh you look cosy, princess.” You go bashful under the lovestruck tone to his words, walking into the arms he has open.

One hand goes to the base of your neck, holding firm as his other hand squeezes around your back.

“Tired?” He whispers into your hair and you hum.

“I can have a cuppa though, not that tired.”

You barely make it halfway through your cup before your eyes are closing and your head is lolling onto Remus’ shoulder.

“Poor girl,” he murmurs, setting his cup down and sliding his hands under your thighs and around your back. “S’okay dove,” he coos as you stir, your nose brushed up to his neck as he walks to your bedroom.

“Stay,” you mumble as he sets you down and Remus smiles.

“M’right here dovey, not going a place.”

Remus wakes up to you moving around in bed, your legs kicking and your body thrashing.

“Hey,” he croaks, voice cracking from sleep. “Dovey,” he mumbles, his hand rubbing your arm. “Baby wake up.”

His nose brushes your cheek, hands shaking your shoulder a bit as your tossing worsens.

“Wake up dove,” he whispers, stroking your neck.

“Remus?” Your voice shakes, eyes open wide as you try to get your bearings.

“It’s me baby, I’m right here.” Your heart is racing as you sit up, Remus following suit.

“Sorry,” you whimper, brushing your cheeks as you feel tears fall. Remus flicks on your lamp and his eyebrows thread together.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” He tucks you into his side. “Wanna talk to me about it?”

His hand creeps under your shirt, his knuckles dragging up and down your spine.

“Was just a dream,” you whisper, not quite sounding yourself. “A bad dream.”

Remus nods, “Yeah, it was just a dream, pretty girl. Your pulse is pounding though, babe.” He can feel the harsh beat of it against the knuckles on your back.

You shut your eyes, reliving the scenes in the dream vividly.

“It’s a recurring thing,” you start, letting yourself be comforted by Remus’ hand on your back and the faint scent of his citrus soap. “I’m little again and my dad is blue mad, breaking glass and screaming in my face.”

You take a shuddering breath and Remus tries his best not to react with his body.

“I was about ten or eleven I think, by that time our relationship wasn’t salvageable. I can’t even remember what he was so upset about but I always seemed like the perfect target. ‘Specially when I started telling him off for being mean to my mum.”

“Baby this was real?” You nod, Remus lets himself for a moment, imagine little you stopping grown adults from arguing and he feels his chest tighten at the thought.

“He tried coming at me and mum with a piece of the glass. It was just a mess. The fight only stopped because our neighbours came to get me.”

He feels your tears wet his shirt, but he doesn’t care. Not when you’ve started shaking again.

“You’re alright baby,” his words sound like a promise whispered into your hairline. “You don’t have to go back to that, I swear you don’t.”

“I think the reason I had a nightmare was because he called earlier. Said to come home on Sunday and that he knew you were staying over.”

Remus can’t stop himself from stiffening then. He hates the frustration and defeat in your voice.

“Do you want me to come with you on Sunday?” The offer is as easy as the breath he inhales.

You look up at him, eyelashes wet and stuck together, lips and cheeks swollen from crying.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Remus smiles- a sad smile.

“You didn’t ask,” he kisses your nose. “Think about it okay? I won’t be offended if you say no, pretty girl.”

You nod and tuck yourself back into him.

“Do you think you can go back to sleep or do you wanna watch something?”

You think for a long time, “Will you hold me till I fall asleep?”

God his heart really is breaking. Who could hurt you?

“Till you wake up, dove.”

Remus wakes up before you do, his arms still wrapped around you, and you’re more on his chest than on the bed.

His mind wakes faster than his body, racing with thoughts of little you and the things you’ve lived. He finds that you hide it well. The hurt, the pain, the everything. One look at you wouldn’t reveal that, all anyone would see is a rich girl living with her parents and doing whatever she pleases; but under the surface?

You’re so like everyone else, but so singular that it stops his breath a little.

You don’t have class today, so he decides quite quickly that he’s letting you sleep in. The only thing you have to do is finish the last bit of your coursework and then Remus thinks a day doing your favourite things- shopping for books and having tea- is in order.

He also wants to start breakfast, you’d mentioned a couple nights ago that you’d been craving blueberries and he’d had a hankering for pancakes.

Remus tries moving out from under you but your fist closes around his shirt and he stays put.

Breakfast can wait a bit.

“Remmy?” You wake shortly after, the sunlight peeking through the curtains tickling your eyes.

“Yes, dove?” His hand is stroking your arm, his blunt fingernails dragging slowly makes it hard for you to open your eyes.

“Time is it?” You stretch as he reaches for his phone.

“Just gone past ten,” you settle right back into his chest with a sigh.

“Can you wake me up again at eleven?” You ask at the same time Remus asks,

“Do you wanna go out for breakfast?”

You hum, “What’re we having?”

A yawn tears apart his answer, “Blueberry pancakes? Or bagels? Either or, I don’t mind.”

“Are you making pancakes?” He can already tell where the question is headed.

“Yes, do you have everything for them?” You nod then you shake your head.

“Except the blueberries.”

Remus pulls you and the covers a little closer. “Want me to go in to the grocery and get them?” You shake your head.

“I’ll settle for whatever fruit I’ve got in the house.” Remus tuts.

“Would you prefer blueberries?” He asks, his fingers dancing across the nape of your neck.

“Yeah,” that’s all he needed to hear.

“I’ll make you some tea and head out,” Remus isn’t allowed to slide out from under you, your thigh on his hip pins him down.

“You don’t have to,” you say bashfully, an intense guilt that’s completely unnecessary creeps into your voice and Remus has to slide his hands to your neck and push your chin up under your jaw.

“You’re not inconveniencing me, pretty girl. I’m getting them, coming back here and making pancakes and then we’re going either to the beach or the bookstore.”

You shake your head as best as you can with Remus holding your jaw. “You don’t have to do all of this just because I had a bad dream.”

He tuts, “I want to take care of you. I’ll just be fifteen minutes.”

You nod, accepting your defeat in the argument.

In the time Remus is gone, you find yourself going through photo albums and reminiscing on the days when things were a lot easier.

You stop on a picture of you and your grandmother and you sigh. Grabbing your phone, you dial her number.

“Hello, Mama?” Your voice wavers as you speak.

“Yes, Bebo?” You smile at the sound of her voice. Instantly, you feel like you’re being swaddled in her arms and like your troubles are eased. Your home name falling from her mouth with such familiarity also makes your chest ache.

“I’m having trouble,” you say honestly. “I don’t know how to forgive anymore.”

She sighs, you can hear shuffling in the back and things knocking about and then you hear your grandmother’s voice. “Bebo, you don’t have to forgive everybody.” She says, and you sniffle. “Not everyone needs that, or deserves that.” When you don’t answer she worries. You and your grandmother have an insanely close relationship, summers were spent in her back garden and on the beach near her house. She knows you as well as you can know any person.

“Do you want me to come over? I can bring you lunch.” You take a minute to consider and know in your heart of hearts that she would be on her way if you said yes.

“No,” you take the conversation to a different direction quickly. “Are you coming over on Sunday? Dad said.”

You can hear the smile in her voice, “Yeah, I miss my grandkids, Bebo.”

You’d seen her just three days ago but it feels like a month ago. “I miss you too, Mama. Would it be weird if I brought someone for dinner?”

She gasps, always one for a good bit of gossip. “Like a boyfriend? Bebo, I’ve been waiting for this!” She sounds so excited that the image of her smiling wide behind her glasses warms your heart.

“You don’t think dad will make it a thing?”

She puffs out air, “Your dad would make the sun coming out a thing if he wanted to. I need you to not live your life according to him, Bebo. He’s my son, but he’s a little shit and he doesn’t rule you or anyone else.”

You sigh, chest shaking under the weight of your withheld thoughts.

“Is that why you don’t want me coming over? Your boyfriend is over?” You giggle, feeling weirdly like she’s right beside you as you tuck your phone between your cheek and shoulder.

“He went to get blueberries because I wanted pancakes, and he’s not my boyfriend, Mama.” She scoffs, you smile.

“But you like him and he’s nice?”

“Super nice, like tooth rotting nice. And he’s really gentle and calm too.”

You can see your grandmother’s smile, and find yourself doing the same. Even more so when you hear the knock on your door.

“You deserve nice, gentle and calm, Bebo. I’m sorry I couldn’t have kept you kids for longer.”

“Mama,” you gasp the words as you look through the peephole and find Remus standing there with the groceries. “You did and are doing enough. You’re not in charge of his actions, he is.”

Remus’ eyes narrow as he sees your glassy eyes as he steps into the apartment.

“I know Bebo, I know.”

“I gotta go, but I’ll call you to let you know if I’m coming okay? If I am, would you bring,” she cuts you off.

“Of course I’ll bring you coconut fudge Bebo, I’ll make it on Saturday so it doesn’t get stale.”

Remus starts about the kitchen, but you can tell he’s intrigued about the conversation- or at the least, who you’re on the phone with.

“Thanks Mama, I love you.” You see a little smile break out of his face even as he faces away from you to measure the flour.

“I love you too Bebo, go enjoy your boyfriend.” You laugh scandalously and hear her chuckle before you hang up.

“How’s your grandma?” Remus asks as you come into the kitchen and sit on the counter near him.

“She’s good. I called her to talk about the nightmare but I kept getting too sad so we just talked about other stuff.” You swing your feet as you watch Remus mix the wet and dry ingredients.

“Is she also going to dinner on Sunday?” He poses it conversationally, because it is but he also wants a feel for who’s there at these dinners.

You nod, stealing a blueberry from the carton. “She’s always there. I think she comes because she knows if she’s there my dad will be in check for the whole night;” you smile when you eat the blueberry and find it’s sweet. “She’s pretty scary when she needs to be.”

“I don’t doubt that, dove. You’re the same way, can tell there’s a little fire behind all that niceness.”

You roll your eyes, “Whatever you say Lupin,” Remus sets your griddle on and oils it as it heats up. “Would you really want to come on Sunday?”

He pours three pancakes on, “Unless I have to do something strange, then yes I want to come.”

“If I told you that there was an initiation process that everyone’s super anal about, that would be a deal breaker?” Remus looks at you wide eyed and then notices your poorly hidden smile.

“You’re a menace.” He says as he flips the pancakes, another raucous laugh bubbling out of you.

“On occasion.” Remus stacks three for you and reaches for the syrup in the cupboard above your head. “But Mama, my granny, will probably badger you about your ‘intentions’ and whatever else.”

You thank Remus for the pancakes with a kiss on his cheek. “Eat,” he says, cutting your pancakes for you, making you smile. “I can handle badgering. But I should warn you, I don’t hide anger well.”

You wave off his concern. “Oh he won’t be out of line, Mama keeps him in check. And I just ignore him anyways.” Remus doesn’t like the way you shrug like your dad being a prick is no big deal, but he decides you’ve shared enough for the day.

You don’t start eating till he makes his own stack and switches off the stove and that makes him smile a little.

“Do you have a preference for the beach or the bookstore?” He asks in between bites of breakfast.

You think for a moment, “Can we go to the bookstore? There’s a couple books I want to check on.”

Remus nods, not really caring where you go, just that you do something you like.

You decide against Remus joining you, not sure if you’re ready for him to see the circus that is your family.

Your Mama is on the front porch, sipping what you know is coffee as you get out your car.

You send Remus a text, Made it. I’ll let you know how it goes.

His response is immediate, My offer to come get you is always on the table, princess

“Where’s your boyfriend?”She asks, standing to hug you.

“Told him that it might be too much, didn’t want to scare him off.” You try to sound as chipper as possible, but your grandmother knows you.

“He’s not in control of you anymore, Bebo. You can’t give it to him.”

You nod, diverting the conversation. “How’d the fudge turn out?”

You have a couple bricks with her and your older brother in the garden out back before they’re ready to serve dinner.

There’s a quiet stillness that covers the remaining winter, the coffee and coconut milk fudge just enough to make it seem like the tranquillity could last forever.

“Mama said you have a boyfriend?” your older brother asks, protectiveness and amusement in his tone as you look up at him wide eyed and shocked.

“I told her he’s not my boyfriend. Not yet.”

“She really wants him to be. He made her pancakes and he spent the night.” You tut at your grandmother’s gossiping.

Your brother smiles, “I’d like to meet him sometime, you look happy again.” You just nod, scared that you might say something that gives away how much you really really like Remus.

“Dinner’s ready,” your mum comes out on the porch, giving all three of you a soft smile before going back in.

Dinner is great until the round-the-table questions get to you. You’d avoided it for a couple courses, but it appears your luck is out.

“How was your coursework?” Your dad says it like it was an actual lie, you don’t miss the vile amusement in his tone, like he’s waiting to catch you in a lie.

“Lots of reading, but I think I got above 85 which is great considering this professor is known for failing students for less than 75.”

Your dad isn’t satisfied. “What was it about?”

You stiffen in your chair, you don’t like the implication that you’re lying. “Capital punishment, recidivism and how the two coincide.”

Your mum can tell your dad is still not pleased, so can your grandmother and she sets him right with a look.

“Do you need her professors to start running their coursework topics through you? Are you going to call the school next because you disbelieve everything?”

The table is tense as your grandmother and your dad have a stare off- not that she’s at all concerned about him.

Your younger siblings feed off your dad’s energy, their own question hot and ready and aimed at anyone with answers.

“How is it fair that she moved out?” And “Why does Mama pay for her apartment and not just tell her to move back home? It’s silly how much she’ll do for attention.” Or “Maybe if she just came home dad wouldn’t be so upset?” You can’t even get a word in, stunned silent as you realise this is how they see you.

It’s when your younger brother and sister say, “You always make it about you, you’re Mama’s favourite and that pisses us off. Dad doesn’t like you because you think you’re better than us, and it would all be better if you just made a clear decision- do you want to be in the family or not?”, that your breath quickens at their words, your heartbeat roaring in your ears.

The part that hurts is that they’re too young to know all the things that have happened, they don’t get why it’s so hard for you to sit here even on bi-weekly Sunday dinners and play nice with your dad.

Your food suddenly loses taste when your dad sends an evil smile your way, your stomach rolling.

They don’t understand that you’ve taken their beatings, that you’ve suffered horrid treatment just so they wouldn’t have to.

“Either way, we don’t care. I think we’d be better off without you if I’m honest. All you do is mope and complain, you wouldn’t even have half the shit you do if it wasn’t for dad. He’s not the monster you make him out to be.”

Your older brother cut them glares, “Enough! You don’t speak for this entire table, find somewhere else to be.” They scamper off, your brother doesn’t even give your dad the time of day, he looks at you immediately.

“Go take a walk, Bebo.” He’s the only one of them that likes you, the only out of three siblings that actually knows you, that knows what this is doing to you and you’re grateful for it.

Mama sparks into heavy, brash Urdu, all of it aimed at your father who more than deserves it- these are his spawn.

You try to think through your feelings, try to sort them into neat and tidy boxes but it just winds you.

You can't take deep breaths, they’re all shallow and sharp. Your chest aches, a concave feeling to it as you worry about the sharpness of your breath. It only worsens your ability, your breathing even shallower and you can’t seem to stop the cycle.

You reach for your phone, pulling up a breathing video and trying your best to follow it, your breathing evening the longer you follow along.

When you can inhale fully, you call Remus. You need him.

He picks up on the second ring, “Hi, dovey. Everything okay?”

“I think I should’ve let you come.” Your voice sounds ragged, like you need to cry and Remus’ skin prickles. He wishes he was there too.

“Need me to come up there?” You debate it, you really do, and maybe if you didn’t feel like such a shitty person right now you would’ve said ‘no,’ but you need Remus and his sound mind and advice.

“It’s a thirty minute drive.” you say, hearing things rustling in the back and Remus moves the phone from his mouth as he calls to someone.

“I’m heading out, text me if you need anything.” Then the phone is closer. “Just had to tell Siri and Jamie. I’m on my way, princess.”

“Drive safely, Remmy.” you sound so sad, Remus wishes he could just apparate to you now.

“I’ll see you soon, baby. Stay somewhere safe, yeah.”

Tears gather in your eyes at how easily Remus could tell that you were frightened, that you’re in need of some place soft to land. God, you can’t wait for him to be here.

The front door opens, your older brother coming out on the porch with a heavy sigh.

“You have to tell them Bebo,” he says softly and you shake your head.

“Why? So they can think I’m just lying to make him look bad. I’m okay with this arrangement.”

Your brother takes a seat on the porch swing and pats a spot next to him.

“Are you actually?” You inhale, thinking it over for a brief moment.

“It hurts, of course it does. But I used to be mean too, this is them being mean back.”

Your brother rolls his eyes, “It’s not like they’re ten. They’re sixteen and they’re horrid.” You take your spot next quickly- like if you chance a slow moment the tears will come.

“But just to me. You get to be the best sibling they have, while I’m the problem black sheep sibling who can’t help but be macabre.”

“You’re not macabre. You know you’re not. You just lived some dark shit to spare them and it’s time to stop. They can handle it.” You wish you could do it, it might make things easier, but you’re scared.

“Maybe next time, it’s too charged in there now.” You sigh, head touching the back of the swing. “Do you think I’ll ever have their love?” The tears stream down your cheeks anyway as you think about the idea, as you hear their words rattle around your head.

Your brother sighs hard, not sure if your siblings would ever wake up from your dad’s spell. Instead of saying anything, he guides your head to his shoulder. “Take a nap, Bebo.”

“Remus is coming soon. Would you wake me when he gets here?”

“‘Course, Bebo.”

Your grandmother comes out right after you fall asleep, touching your sticky cheek with a weathered hand.

“They’ll break her, you know. They’ll break her spirit and she won’t hold back anymore.” She sounds sad, like she can see it happening already.

“Mama, she won’t break.” your brother says, reaching for her but she bats him away.

“She’s not like you. You brush it off, she can’t. It weighs her heart. Every time she leaves here she looks so sad, so heavy and cracked. I can’t see her crack again, do you remember it?”

Tears fall down her cheeks, but she doesn’t try to wipe them, she just stares at your sleeping form.

Your brother sighs, leaning on her shoulder as she sits on his other side. “I remember,” he says quietly, the memories of you being withdrawn dancing behind his eyes. “Her boyfriend is coming here.”

“Really?” She asks and your brother nods.

“She told me to wake her up when he gets here.”

Mama smiles, “I’m glad she called him.”

Remus arrives about forty minutes later, your brother sitting beside you about to shake your shoulder when Remus steps out of the car and shakes his head.

“Let her sleep a little,” your brother’s confused by his request.

“She asked me to wake you when you get here.”

Remus smiles despite his anger. He’d stewed all the way to your dad’s house, wondering if you’d be hurt, if you’d not find a quiet place and the argument would keep going.

He didn’t know what he was walking into, and finding you asleep is much more welcome than the sadder visions of his brain.

“Would you tell me what it’s all about? Or what sparked it all today?”

Remus sits on the floor near the foot of the swing, his hand holding onto your ankle as he looks to your brother.

It’s clear to him, your brother, that Remus cares about you. His eyes haven’t strayed from you for more than thirty seconds, always coming back to rove over your face like he’s making sure you’re still there and still okay.

Your brother hesitates- he’s never spoken about this with someone outside of the family. “They have warped perceptions of her; our younger brother and sister. They think she’s ungrateful and just doesn’t come home to get dad riled up- she doesn’t come home because they don’t know what she’s done so they didn’t have to get the dad we got.”

Remus frowns harder, his thumb rubbing a circle on your ankle.

“And she doesn’t want to tell them?” There’s no judgement in his tone, just curiosity.

Your brother shakes his head. “She doesn’t think they’d believe her at this point. I’m always trying to talk her into it, but I think it runs a bit too deep to dredge up just like that.”

Remus nods, eyes fixated on you as you sleep. “Will she want to tell them goodbye?”

Your brother smiles, “If you leave without meeting our grandma, I think she’ll never forgive you for leaving without her ice cream.”

Remus laughs, nodding as he stands.

“You should wake her up first, I’ll go tell Mama you’re here.” Remus waits till your brother walks off into the house to sit beside you.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been asleep, but sometime later you feel Remus’ hand on your cheek, thumb a little calloused as it rubs at the apple.

Only he wakes you up this gently.

“Princess, wake up. Miss your face.”

“Hey,” your eyes peel open slowly, a little smile spreading on your face.

Remus’ smile is small, but not forced. He could never do that with you looking up at him- especially with your sleepy eyes.

“Was the drive okay?”

He chuckles, it’s belated that you notice you’re alone with him on your front porch. Your brother’s car is still parked outside and so is your grandmother’s.

“Yeah it was, pretty girl.”

Remus kisses your forehead, his hand holding your face even though it’s a little sticky with your dried tears.

“Your brother went to get Mama.” He says softly, letting you twist your body so you were leaning into him. Your entire front body was pressing against his ribs.

“I’m so tired, Remmy.” Your voice cracks as you speak, Remus can’t bear it. He hates it that you’re this sad.

“I know baby,” his words are whispered into your hairline, his hand moving to cup the back of your head as he feels the quiet tears soak his shirt. “We don’t have to stay here any longer than you want to.”

You sniffle and nod, letting Remus pull you further into his lap so he can hold you.

“This is Mama,” you hear your brother’s voice and the light steps of your grandmother and then feel Remus lean forward. You assume he wanted you off his lap, but his hand anchors your hip to his as he shakes the older woman’s hand.

“Remus.” He introduces himself and she smiles.

“You’re handsome,” you laugh when you catch Remus’ cheeks flushing. “I have your ice cream here, Bebo. He won’t come out, locked himself away in his office.”

You shrug, “Doesn’t matter. I’m ready to go.” Remus nods, taking the tub of ice cream for you, letting you climb off his lap before standing.

“Give me two minutes, baby.” You kiss his jaw as you go, the car keys in your hand.

“She’ll be okay right?”

Your brother smiles at Remus, Mama frowns.

“She’s a fighter.” He says but Mama shakes her head.

“She might not have any more fight left in her.”

Remus knows what she means to say. He remembers how Sirius had been, the brave faces and attitude to hide how sad he was. He looks at the car and spots you with your head against the glass.

“Just be patient with her.” Mama says and Remus nods. “She’ll tell you everything soon enough. She looks at you like you individually hung the stars.”

Remus blushes again, not really knowing what to say.

Your older brother pats his shoulder and goes inside, “I think I’ll head out too.” He goes to his car, but not before stopping at Remus’ and giving you a kiss to your forehead.

Remus frowns, “Does everyone disperse after they fight like this?” He asks your grandmother, not wanting to push but trying to understand.

“Bebo can’t take more of this, you’ll see. I set him straight, he leaves her alone for months and then starts over. It’s like a cat and a mouse- always prodding and slapping and poking until the mouse has had enough.”

“And the mouse does what when they’ve had enough?”

Mama smiles, like she’s holding out just a sliver of hope that it will happen. “Revolt.”

Remus gives her a hug and makes his way to the car.

As soon as he opens the door, you smile. Tired lines all over your face as your eyes barely open.

“Wanna stay over?” You ask, cheek smushed to your shoulder as you look at Remus.

“How abouts you come over to mine? I’ve got fluffy blankets,” Remus kisses that spot where your forearm and upper arm meet. “Oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip cookies,” a kiss to your shoulder, right on the beauty mark. “And I’ve got all your favourites on dvd.”

The last kiss is right on the corner of your mouth, chaste and sweet and it makes you smile even more.

“Sirius and James won’t mind?”

Remus rolls his eyes, “They’ve gone on their own lover’s retreats today.” Wrong, Remus kicked them out the second he’d hung the phone with you.

“Okay, but can we stop by my place to get my stuffy?”

Remus chuckles, “Course we can, dovey. That way we’ll both have clothes at each other’s place.”

You tut, clipping on your seatbelt as Remus turns over the engine. “You’re not getting your sweater back, Remus.”

He only rolls his eyes as he pulls out of your dad’s yard, tipping his chin to the ice cream tub. “Will that be okay on the drive?”

You nod, “Yeah, we can have some with the cookies tonight.”

434 notes · View notes

norrizzandpia · 2 months

Note

Based off of the song bags by Clairo. Lando and y/n are more than friends but less than bf/gf. Super flirty and touchy always. Both in love w the other but don’t want to confess in case the other doesn’t feel the same way. Ending however you want!

I LOVE THIS SONG

Can You See Me Using Everything to Hold back? (LN4)

Summary: Lando and Y/n have always been as close as can be, but unresolved and disregarded feelings threaten everything they thought they once knew.

Warnings: language, angsty but HAPPY ENDING, mentions about Lando’s weight

“Happy birthday to my best friend!” Lando cheered as he let his arm rest firmly on Y/n’s face, a quick kiss to her cheek.

The girl smiled through it. It was her birthday after all, right? No crying this time around.

However, Lando was making that promise to herself extremely hard. The soft fingers dancing along her back, the hugs where he would breathe her perfume in, and the glow to his eyes were just a few of the instances where Y/n felt like keeling over and vomiting all over the pristine marble flooring of the hotel Lando had rented out extravagantly for her. Her glossy eyes, some thought, were just a mixture of the alcohol and the exhaustion of partying until dawn.

Truly, she was grateful for what he had done for her. The surprise party with all her closest friends made it known how much Lando really listened to her. The wish to not spend her day with crowds of people who knew only the shell of her being had been accomplished as she looked on at the room in front of her. Adorned in each corner were people who knew almost exactly what it would be like to live in her skin… and then there was Lando.

Lando, her best friend, knew more than just living in her skin. He knew more than anyone in the room, they both knew that. Nobody knew why she had that random scar on her stomach or why hated blueberries, but he did. Random facts about her that only God would be able to answer, he knew.

…Not to say Lando was God.

Nevertheless, the point was made in her brain. She loved the people here, but she adored Lando. Maybe too much for friends, but, again, no crying on her birthday.

“When everyone leaves and you open your presents, open mine first?” Lando whispered in her ear. Chills down her spine and a flush to her cheeks are not from the drop in the AC.

She turned to him, their faces inches apart as her champagne sloshed over the edge of her glass. Her hair landed over her shoulder, which almost brought Lando to his knees. Her gorgeous hair, beautiful dress, and glowy makeup enhanced every bit of pretty Y/n had to offer. He was breathless at the sight of her. Smiling softly, Y/n tilted her head, “Are you not staying?”

He shook his head and her heart sank, “I want you to open your gift alone. Plus, I have an early flight tomorrow.”

She checked her watch, “Lando, it’s almost 4 AM. What time’s your flight?”

His head dipped down to stare at his shoes, “7 AM.”

Her mouth fell open, “Lando!” She smacked his shoulder as she scolded him, “Why the hell are you here and not sleeping?!”

He pulled her into him, his breath fanning over her nose, “Because I want to celebrate my favorite person.”

She softened, “Fine, I’ll let you get away with it this time.”

—

Can you see me? I’m waiting for the right time. I can’t read you, but if you want, the pleasure’s all mine. Can you see me using everything to hold back? I guess this could be worse; walkin’ out the door with your bags.

The small grouping of gifts sat next to Y/n on her apartment floor, completely alone without the company she craved. As he asked, she fished out the small box from the stack. She shook it around for a moment, a small clanging meeting her ears. Finally deciding the package could be fragile, she unwrapped it.

TWO YEARS BEFORE

“Can we please go in here, Y/n?” Lando pleaded with the girl as they stood on the street, his hand in hers as he pulled her one way. She rolled her eyes at him, “Lando, what are you buying at Van Cleef?”

He stuck his hip out while he let his bottom lip do the same, his usual ‘my way or the highway’ stance. She giggled before relenting, “Fine, but when we walk out empty handed and all the employees give us dirty looks, don’t come crying to me.”

He smiled at her before tugging her through the doors. Immediately, a woman approached them as she began welcoming them to the store. “If you need any help, just let us know.” She smiled and Lando nodded.

When they were alone, he turned to Y/n. She saw that mischievous look from miles away, “Look around, Y/n. Pick out your favorite thing.”

Her eyebrows raised, “You’re not buying me anything, Norris. Especially from Van Cleef.”

Lando’s look challenged her, “Uh huh, for sure.”

Deciding not to argue, Y/n let go of his grasp and let herself wander. Almost to the end of the store, nothing stood out to her. Everything was either quite popular and not something rather unique or not her taste and Lando was beginning to tell. Seemingly quite disappointed in her sudden lack of interest in Van Cleef Jewelry, his face lit up when she suddenly stopped at something.

A little gold necklace laid before with the quaintest red heart charm and there was nothing she loved more. Her eyes sparkled and her fingers ran over it on the glass. Lando loved seeing her fall in love with something beautiful. It paralleled something in his life.

“Like that one?” He whispered, his hands coming up to her waist as his thumbs began rubbing softly.

She twisted her head, “If I say ‘yes’, you can’t buy it for me.”

Lando pouted, “Why not?”

She sighed, “Because, Lan, it’s 2,000 euros. That’s way too much to spend on me.”

“2,000 euros is not enough.” He murmured and she chuckled. Suddenly, his hand tapped on the glass and he moved closer to her, “Tell you what, I won’t buy it for you right now, but I do get to buy it for you at some point.”

“What’s the difference from buying it now to buying it later?” She questioned and Lando’s eyes held hers.

“When I buy and give this to you, whether it’s a month from now or ten years from now, it’ll be my sign to you that I will never let you go. When this necklace ends up in your hands because of me know it is my tangible way of telling you that there is not a day I wish to go by without you.” He gazed upon her face in preparation for any kind of reaction. What he was met with was a slow smile that had his heart beating too fast.

She kissed his cheek, “I think I could get on board with that, Norris.”

PRESENT

On top of the Van Cleef box was a small, folded paper. Y/n let it unravel in her hands and staring back at her was Lando’s messy scribbling, however she could tell he had tried to make it nice.

My love letter to you. You’re better at words than I am. I know you’ll remember. Cheers and a happy birthday to everything you are and everything you will become. I know it’ll be great. You’re meant for something out of this world, Y/n. - L

A small tear ran down her face. She already knew what laid beneath all the ribbon. Her favorite heart necklace rested in her hands as she tried to take it all in. Her hands shook and her brain short circuited.

The only thing she could seem to remember were his words, “it is my tangible way of telling you that there is not a day I wish to go by without you.”

—

Lando cursed quietly to himself when his long awaited slumber had been stolen from him at the hands of his phone. Beside him, the device rang and rang annoyingly until his grogginess finally wore off enough for him to grab it.

Max, on the other side of the table, gave him a death stare. He had fully been asleep and any person knows that waking Max from any type of slumber is catastrophic.

Lando just smiled and shrugged at his best friend before answering the phone.

Crying is all he heard.

Pulling back the phone, he clocked Y/n’s contact. His mind raced. What had happened to her? He had watched her walk through her door the night before and lock it before leaving to get his luggage from his place. There was no time for her to be hurt. She was with him the entire night.

“What’s going on? I’ll kill them, Y/n.” That got Max’s attention.

”No,” She choked out before taking a breath, “It’s you. The necklace. It’s so sweet.”

“Oh,” Lando chuckled and Max continued to eye him weirdly.

“This is so much, Lan. I don’t even- Thank you. I thought you would forget or maybe never end up buying it.” She said, still breathing deeply through her past tears.

At the insinuation, Lando became rather confused, “I was always going to end up feeling this way Y/n. It was only a matter of time. It’s not hard to always want you around. You’re you.”

She was quiet for a moment, “The note, Lan. You say you’re bad at words, but that was perfect.”

He sighed dramatically, “Nothing will ever be as perfect as you. Crazy you don’t understand that yet.”

She smiled, “Still.”

He just shook his head silently and prayed that somewhere something, anything would give him the strength to be just friends with her. “Happy birthday, Y/n. I meant everything I said in that note.”

“Thank you, Lan.” A beat passed, “Well, I’ll let you get back to your flight. Be safe, please.”

He nodded, “Of course. Bye, Y/n. Love you.”

Her heart thumped in her chest. It always did when he said that. She whispered, “Love you too. Bye.”

Max sat with his arms crossed and his eyes trained on Lando. “What was that about?” He asked, although he had a small feeling he knew all too well what had just happened.

Lando coyly grinned, “Her present.”

“Which was what?”

Lando bit his lip, “That Van Cleef heart necklace I told you about like two years ago.”

Max stayed quiet for a moment, keeping his gaze on his best friend, before cocking his head. “Let me get this straight - you bought your best friend, who’s a woman, a Van Cleef necklace so she would know you never wanted to live without her. You got her this for her birthday as well?”

Lando just stared at him.

Max laughed, “Right. So, do you think she knows how in love you are with her now?”

“I hope not.” Lando rolled his eyes and swatted his hand in Max’s direction.

The man huffed, “Lando, sometimes you make me want to claw my eyes out with how stubborn you are.”

“I refuse to put my friendship with someone I cherish in jeopardy for some feelings I have that will surely go away soon.” Lando declared, his tone strong and direct.

But, there was no fooling Max.

“You do realize you just bought her a Van Cleef necklace, right?”

—

A triple-header was never easy. Especially when Y/n wasn’t with him for any of the races. Lando stared longingly at a picture of the two of them in London with chocolate smeared all over their faces, a cup of strawberries in Lando’s hand. They had been out wandering the city with a group of their friends that day and had shoved their faces with the most delicious food that Lando had gained so much weight, Jon had scolded him when he got back. Nonetheless, he adored the memories that came from that day. Which included this picture. Y/n was laughing and he was holding onto her by the waist, smiling at her widely. Lando never let her know this image existed solely because of how obvious his love for her is in it. His eyes twinkle and random dimples he never knew existed pop out and you can practically hear his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

It was too much for his liking.

In moments like these, when the yearning for her got too strong, Lando likes to think the days of them being friends are over. That they’re more than friends, soulmates or whatever his romantic mind would like to call it. It helps the pain of only being hers secretly subside.

“Are you gonna keep drooling at your phone like that or are you gonna call Y/n?” Oscar chuckled. The fact that the man couldn’t even see his phone yet knew he was looking at Y/n made Lando scream internally. He really needed to be better at not giving away too much.

Lando rolled his eyes, but his thumb was already pressing the call button. His phone rang as he put it up to his ear and Oscar tried to keep his smile unknown. Tried.

“Lando!” Y/n yelped. He could hear the grin in her voice.

He could feel the grin on his face, “Hi, Y/n.”

“What’s going on? What do you need?” She blabbered.

Lando’s eyes shot to Oscar, who was eavesdropping so obviously, and shuffled his body around to gain some sort of privacy. His head tucked down, he whispered, “I miss you.”

Y/n stopped her movements, putting down the yogurt she had been trying to put away. She smiled, “I miss you too.”

“Come here.” He begged, “Please.”

She sighed, “You know I can’t. I’m too busy here.”

He didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry, Lan” She whispered, guilt eating at her.

“I’m not mad… or disappointed at you. I just…” I love you.

“I’ll be fine, Y/n. I’ll see you when I come back.”

—

Tell you how I felt, sugar coated melting in your mouth. Pardon my emotions, I should probably keep it all to myself. Know you’d make fun of me.

Drunk was not what Lando should be after begging Y/n to come, practically declaring how much he wanted her, and getting denied. Yet, here he was with tequila sloshing over his glass as he tried to comprehend the words coming out of this woman’s mouth. She was standing in front of him, but all he could focus on was the fact that her hair wasn’t the same as Y/n’s and she didn’t smell the same.

Frustrated, he apologized, albeit slurred, to the woman and left her in the middle of the club. His vision was blurred slightly as he fell outside, the cold air going to his head.

Another call to the girl he’s always wanted. He counted that as two today and mentally scolded himself for being so obvious. At this point, everything he did was obvious. At this point, he couldn’t be just friends.

Y/n picked up, the grogginess in her voice evident. “Lando? Is everything okay? It’s 4 AM.”

“Y/n,” She could almost smell the alcohol on his breath, “I’m sick and tired of this.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, “Lando, you’re wasted.”

He shushed her before continuing, “Let me finish. I cannot do this with you anymore. It’s killing me.”

“You can’t do what with me anymore?”

“I can’t… I can’t…” Even in his drunken state, he knew it was a bad idea. He knew what was truly at stake. She was at stake. He just couldn’t ever risk that.

“Nevermind. I’m just really…” He tried to finish his sentence. Drunk? Yes. Upset? Yes. Angry? Yes. Annoyed? Yes. It was everything and nothing at the exact same time.

Y/n chuckled, “Drunk, I know. Don’t worry, Lan. You’ll just feel a little sick tomorrow morning.”

She hung up the phone, the last moments of it all being her laughing. His hands pulled at his hair and he couldn’t believe how close he had come to losing it all.

And how she had just laughed.

—

After his disastrous call, Lando went completely silent on Y/n. To the point that she dropped everything she was doing, at work and in her personal life, to go see him, to make sure he wasn’t dead.

When she showed up to his hotel, the concierge told her that seeing him wouldn’t be possible, no matter how close she said they were. Back and forth with the employee ended when Oscar walked through the lobby, Y/n calling out to him so loudly it earned her a few stares.

He looked at her for a moment, trying to decipher if what he was seeing was real, until concluding the woman screaming at him was in fact Lando’s best friend and the girl he had been trying to hide from all week.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, completely baffled, when he told the front desk she was with him.

Y/n huffed, “Lando’s not answering me and the last time I heard from him, he was absolutely shit faced. I’m worried, so I came to check on him.”

“So, one phone call and a few days without contact and you’re suddenly showing up halfway across the world to check up on him?” Oscar eyed her, his gaze pleading with her to just end this dance between her and Lando.

She coughed, “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” He smirked, “Well, Lando’s on the second floor in room 28. I think he’s there now if you want to go see him. He’s completely fine by the way. You could’ve just called me to ask. You also could’ve called Max… or Jon… or Andrea… or literally anyone because I know you have all their numbers.”

She blushed, “Stop looking at me like that, Piastri.”

He raised an eyebrow, “I’m not looking at you like anything, Y/l/n. I know nothing.” He shook his head and walked away.

Second floor. Room 28.

—

“Can I just be honest?” She blurted out when Lando opened the door. He stood motionlessly, looking her up and down as if he was trying to will her into existence.

“Y/n?” She pushed past him and turned around in a fury.

“Why the fuck have you been dodging me? What the fuck, Lando? You call me wasted and then ghost me for days on end. Did you genuinely think through anything?” She scoffed.

Lando shrugged, “I couldn’t talk to you.”

“Why?”

He couldn’t look at her, “Because.”

She groaned, “Jesus Christ, Lando, again with all the vagueness! Can you tell me anything? What’s going on?”

His head snapped to hers and he let his eyes warn her own. Warn her not to push this topic, not to make him say what he’s worked so hard to keep down. But, when it came to him and his lack of vulnerability, Y/n knew no bounds.

She sat down on the bed, knowing the aggressive approach was never the right call. She looked down and then up at him, “Please just tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t, Y/n.” He sat down next to her, taking her hands in his. Everything in him was screeching. He felt like he was being ripped apart by the two, conflicted sides in him. One wanted him so heavily to end the hell of being just her friend by telling her how he felt and the other willed him to remember the privilege of being in her presence, to not fuck that up.

She could see it as well, the quiet war in his mind. In trying to comfort him, running her hand on his back, she triggered him. He sprung from the bed, gaining as much distance from her and letting his head fall in his hands.

“Stop.” He pleaded, “You need to leave, Y/n.”

Her eyes watered, “Why? I don’t understand why you’re pushing me away.”

The waver in her voice made him grip the side table next to him. If he couldn’t hold on mentally, maybe he could physically.

But, no. One look at her defeated face made him lose all composure. And one small whisper of hers, “Please let me in.” became too much.

“I’ve always been so in love with you.” He breathed out. A relief fell over him, a truth that had been eating at him finally said.

Y/n froze, her eyes on her hands in her lap. When she gathered the courage to look up at him, she found the shell of a man.

In thinking he had let go of a truth, he remembered the risk that had been holding him back all this time. Gone was the relief and all that was left was pure terror at what he had just done.

She breathed, “You know when I got here, Oscar looked at me and almost mocked me for the reasons as to why I had come. He told me I had come here because of one drunk call and a few days of no contact. And, you know, I was looking at this necklace the other day,” She touched it as it laid across her neck, “and it almost felt like some sort of declaration of love. I thought I was insane, thinking you would see me that way, but I think it made me more inclined to do my own declaration of love. The whole grand gesture thing was never for me, but I think I’ve found myself there, no? I think this is my declaration of love.”

Lando gapped at her, “What are you saying?”

She smiled, “If you thought I didn’t love you too, then we were both dumb.”

He breathed out then laughed, falling next to her on the bed. She let her hand rest on his next to her and squeezed tightly.

“It sucks we waited so long, but at least it ended in neither of us walking out.” She murmured.

He sat up, letting his arms wrap around her waist, “I was never gonna walk out.”

“Neither was I.”

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keerysfreckles · 6 months

Note

hiii!!!! lando and best friend reader and shes gotten into one of those sad days because shes thinking of how shes never dated anyone or had her first kiss or anything. and he offers to take her out on a date as friends and thats when he realizes hes in love with her (shes been in love with him this whole time). but they dont really say anything, but they just get increasingly more affectionate as best friends as the days go by. and everyone around them can see theyre so in love with each other - 🍒anon

loveless — LN4

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

warnings: use of y/n and she/her pronouns, slight swearing

a/n: lando p5 in japan HE WAS SO CLOSE TO BEING ON PODIUM

masterlist !

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

y/n loved her small apartment in monaco. she loved it so much in fact that she's convinced her best friend that she's fine staying in day after day.

however if you got to know y/n, you'd learn this is out of the ordinary for the girl. usually she'd be out partying with lando, or hanging around the other members of the f1 grid. not sulking in her bathrobe and pajamas for three days in a row.

on the fourth day she recieved multiple texts from her best friend, lando norris, asking if she wanted to go out for drinks with him and a couple of friends.

y/n groaned, after reading the messages more than once. she really didn't have the energy to go out. not since her almost date last week didn't go as planned.

she met a rather attractive uni student on tinder, and they talked for a few days to get to know each other. less than a week later they planned to have dinner at a nice monegasque restaurant.

long story short, said tinder date never showed up, and never texted y/n the next morning explaining himself.

before the 'date' y/n didn't really believe in love. so of course, this screwed up with her perception of it even more.

lando was informed about the date, and was happy for y/n. he knew her history of falling in love was bleak, and he just wanted to be happy for her. so seeing his best friend wrapped up in three colorful blankets in her messy bedroom put a damper in his mood.

"what did i tell you about laying in the dark?" lando's voice surprises y/n. she jumps, before pausing her netflix show on her laptop.

"lan? what are you doing here?" she sits up, her eyes adjusting to the light lando just turned on.

lando sits on the edge of the bed, moving the laptop away from y/n, causing her to sit up as well.

"well you never answered my texts about going out tonight, so i figured i'd come here. plus you gave me that apartment key years ago."

y/n sighs. she knows she doesn't have the energy to go out tonight. "do i have to?"

lando sends y/n a sympathetic look. "maybe it could get your mind off that douche who stood you up last week. he obviously missed out on getting to know a great girl."

y/n's heart warmed at lando's words. he always knew how to cheer her up after she fell down.

y/n lets out a groan and falls back onto her pillows, her blankets encasing her once again.

"what if i never fall in love?" y/n thinks out loud. "or never go on a proper date? or mever even have my first kiss?"

lando's eyebrows furrow, "you've never had your first kiss?"

y/n takes the opportunity to kick his thigh, "yes shitbird, you know this." she lets out a small chuckle as he groans from the attack.

lando recalls her words again, "wait you've never been on a date either?"

y/n shakes her head, "nope."

"so that's why you're so beat up about this one not working out. i get it now," lando stands and walks towards y/n's opened closet door.

y/n sits up again, "lando what are you doing? i told you i don't feel like going out tonight."

lando ignores her for a moment as he continues sifting through her closet. his eyes and hands stop on a light purple dress.

"you still have this?" he holds it at an angle so y/n can see from her bed.

she nods, "of course. i've never gotten rid of any birthday present from you."

lando silently takes it off the hanger and throws it on the bed, making y/n confused.

"you and i are going out tonight," lando says confidently. "i'm taking you on a proper date. i'll text pierre, charles and carlos that i'll go out with them some other time."

y/n stares at him dumbfounded. she can't believe lando is taking her out on a date.

"when you say a proper date, what exactly does that entail?" y/n wonders, now removing her blankets from her body.

lando starts looking through y/n's very impressive shoe collection. "a very nice drive to an expensive restaurant, possinly with a candle lit dinner. you and i enjoying the best monegasque food we can. and maybe end the date with a classic near-the-front-door kiss."

y/n's taken back by his words again. she can't believe what she's hearing.

lando places a pair of white heels beside the dress on the bed, and leans forward slightly. "i'll be waiting in your living room, okay?" and with that, he kisses her forehead. the motion's been done a million times, but this time however felt different for the both of them.

y/n stares at her now closed bedroom door, and chuckles in disbelief while picking up the dress. maybe this was the push she needed to get out there again. party with her friends, and maybe go on more dates.

so she did as lando told. she was quick to brush through her hair, and change into the dress and heels. she styled it with silver jewelry and made sure to grab her small handled clutch before leaving her room.

lando stands from the couch. "now i think you look much better in this, than being covered in blankets."

y/n blushes at his words.

"do you have an idea of where we're going?" she locks her apartment door behind her, before lando leads her down the stairs with his hand on her lower back.

—

lando was starstuck.

during the ride to the restaurant, all the way up until they got the bill. (of course being the gentleman he is, he paid.)

he could barely take his eyes off y/n. he saw them shimmer as she spoke about her new job starting this month. he noticed how excited she got when he parked outside her favorite fancier restaurant.

now he was holding her heels for her, after giving her his jacket once the midnight air hit her skin. they were walking along the streets of monaco, planning on doing a little wrap around the block to get back to lando's car.

as the duo was talking and walking, they're arms kept brushing against each others. y/n couldn't help but giggle almost everytime, thanks to the white wine slowly making it's way in her system from dinner.

lando thought it was the best sound in the world.

on the way back to y/n's apartment, lando contemplated resting his hand over her thigh. she sat towards him, angling her body, so in theory he easily could hold onto her leg. however he refrained, but his heartbeat sped up when he felt y/n grab his right hand. she played with his fingers, and ending up enclosing her hand in his. he hummed at the feeling.

"so, we've done almost everything on my list to get you to have a perfect date," lando speaks as the pair stops right in front of y/n's door.

"what are we missing?" y/n asks, forgetting what he had stated earlier in the evening.

lando smiles down at the girl, his pupils dilating. "in order for you to have a perfect date, we have to have a near-the-front-door kiss."

y/n instantly blushes. she's thought about kissing lando before, but never thought any of her daydreams would become a reality.

lando steps forward and places his unoccupied hand on her pink cheek. he runs his thumb over the skin, and notices her pupils becoming wider.

"so what do you say?" lando almost whispers, the rasp in his voice becoming evident.

y/n looks between his eyes, and can't come up with a complete sentence as her mind falls blank.

silently y/n stands on her tip toes and grabs lando's face between her hands. she brings him down to her to connect their lips.

his taste like chocolate, from the slice of cake he ordered for dessert. hers taste like sugar and cinnamon from the cocktail she had at the end of the night.

lando brings his other hand around to y/n's back. she can't help but smile against his lips at the feeling of his arm around her. in the hundreds of times she's pictured kissing her best friend, it never ended like this.

the two finally pulled away, both of their cheeks blushed and pupils wide.

they both let out a rather large breath, and in the span of three seconds, y/n's opening her apartment door with lando following right on her tail. before they can fully step inside, lando's lips meet hers again, and lando definitely plans on spending the night.

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verinarin · 9 months

Text

Romcon Fluff | Ratio accidentally drinks your Love Serum ?!? | Tried to make this into a oneshot but I think it needs 2 more chapters, wdyt shall I continue?

Ruan Mei You accidentally made Veritas fell in love with you and he dislikes this festering feeling you have brought to him

support me on ko-fi ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Ruan Mei is one of your closest friends, yet you rarely meet her since most of the time she’s off somewhere pursuing her lifelong pursuit of divinity, yet she never missed gifting you presents for your birthday.

You smile as you carefully untie the silk ribbon on your present, you can’t help but guess whatever is inside is a bottle of perfume because you could already inhale the sweet scent before even opening the intricate wooden box

Once you lift the lid it reveals a beautifully carved glass vial filled with a lavender-coloured liquid, you carefully examine the shimmering liquid in awe, it smells so sweet like a cherry blossom cake, you notice a light blue envelope inside the box

You carefully place the vial back to read open the envelope, there’s a beautifully written letter addressed to you, her sincerest friend

“Dearest friend of mine, Happy belated birthday. Now I have prepared this gift of mine long before your birthday but since I’m currently in the middle of nowhere I have deduced that It’ll reach your doorstep approximately 2 days late and for that, I apologise,” you smile as you read her letter, ah she’s still the same

Upon reading the 3-page long heartfelt letter Ruan Mei reveals that she has been making this rejuvenating serum for you since earlier this year, she said she used your DNA and modified it so for your birthday she gave you an enchantment serum of some sort

She said to pour it into a hot beverage and not too much since it’s a highly concentrated serum, so you decided to brew a cup of tea while you text her thank you. Okay so a little bit goes a long way, you slowly pour the serum into the tea when all of a sudden the bell into your apartment rings, it shakes you and accidentally makes you pour a lot more than you intended to

You quickly flip the vial and close its lid, you silently curse as you put the vial back and rush towards the door, you open the door with a pout on your face, now when you see the person behind it makes you more annoyed than before, Veritas Ratio in the flesh

“Why haven’t you been answering my texts and even my calls ?, your lack of response is going to cost us both substantial damage,” ah yes your assigned partner for the annual Intelligentsia Guild research showcase, where you and the narcissistic prick in front of you are assigned together by the committee

“Damage ?, I was just enjoying my birthday. Our research is not going to somehow dissipate into thin air if I enjoy some time for myself,” you groan, you want to slam your door into that handsome prick’s face, but you can’t because he’ll sue you

He scoffs while looking down on you, without any hesitation he slides into your apartment, at this point you want to just pounce over him, but thankfully you’re in a good mood because your tea is waiting for you-

That entitled motherfucker—

When you turn your body you see him blissfully sipping on your tea, like he’s entitled to it, “Hmm this tea is exquisite, the colour is stunning too where did you get this from ?” he asks as he swirls the cup, your cup

“Veritas Ratio that was my birthday present ?!!” you yell as you storm towards him, you try to pry his hands away from your tea but sadly he’s way taller than you, “Well then I need you to tell the person that gifted you this tea to tell me where they acquire such complex tea blend,”

You’re fuming, you swear that there’s smoke coming off your head like some sort of chimney, he notices this and weirdly he thinks you’re cute, he can’t believe that his heart just skipped a beat when you pout at him, what an unusual feeling

“Stop pouting, you’re making my heart palpitate faster than usual,” Veritas groans which surprised you, what the hell was he saying ?

“What the hell are you implying ?!” you scan his face, somehow this man who is well known to be rude and disrespectful is blushing profusely, what the hell happened here ?!

“You !, can you stop looking that beautiful basking underneath the sunlight it bothers me, I hate it,” he can’t believe he just said that out loud, what the hell is happening with him

“H-huh ?!?, what the fuck is wrong with you Veritas, I rather have you yell at me for fucking up some calculations than whatever this is,” you shriek feeling slightly disgusted and oddly flattered ?!?

“Well do you think I have the slightest idea what made my mind suddenly throw out my rationale out of the window and replace it with you instead ?!,” okay this is starting to freak you out because this feels too real, way too real is this a dream, please be a dream

You start to lightly slap your face to snap yourself out of this horrific nightmare, “This is no dream, I suggest you start to be responsible over this,” he leans forward and reaches out to your hand, he presses it towards his beating heart, he’s serious about how fast it was palpitating-

“W-what do you mean responsible ?!?, for what h-huh ?,” you try to pull your hand away but to no avail, it’s like he glued it down on his firm chest

“For these festering feelings that I don’t enjoy having nor experiencing, it must’ve been the tea I drank because before this I was quite normal when it comes to staring at that captivating face of yours. No, I mean that horrid face of yours that someone enchanted when illuminated by the sun,” Oh nous, it can’t be that tea can it ?

Oh !, Ruan Mei what the hell did you gift ?. Veritas could see your face reduce to a state of emotionless, “Don’t ignore me fool !,” he mutters as he now guides your hand to rest his head against your palm

“S-stop acting weird,” you stutter on your words, your confidence has been drained and now you’re left with red-tinted cheeks, how frustrating

“Can’t help it, I just want you to notice my presence,” he mumbles against your palm, slightly kissing it while talking, Oh my nous, Ruan Mei needs to fix whatever this is or at this rate, he can’t perform his task as your research partner

“Okay okay I need to somehow make an antidote for you,” you take a deep breath trying to think of something, but how can you when he’s there watching you with those puppy eyes

“Please do because, to be frank, I’m extremely uncomfortable with the way I just want to kiss that pink lips of—“ before he can continue you slap his mouth shut with your palm

“Shut up !!, don’t utter any more nonsense, just get out of here and don’t come back until I find a way to fix whatever this is,” you quickly push him towards the door, he’s adamant about staying by making things harder for you

“Can’t I just wait here and assist you? I might miss you if you kick me out, I mean no of course I wouldn’t miss your brilliant mind what am I saying of course I’ll miss you,” this man needs to be stopped, you can’t handle the contradictions that he’s spewing

“What do I need to do for you to get out !,” you huff as you wipe away your sweat, this man weighs like those sculptures he makes

“A kiss on the lips should suffice,” he smirks, why did he smirk?!?, never mind that you can’t deal with this nonsense anymore, you quickly drag him by the collar and press your lips together within a second you pull away from the kiss leaving him happily dumbfounded, you took this chance to hurriedly push him out the door and lock it

What the hell just happened ?!?

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #dr ratio #dr ratio x reader

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greenwitchfromthewoods · 30 days

Text

Friday night. l Joel Miller

Summary: you were friends who met on Friday night

Warnings: +18, smut, swearing, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, sex with protection (good job!), mentioning masturbation

A/N: this has been on my mind for a few days now. it's not perfect, but i hope you like it. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

"So when? Tell me, tell me, tell me."

You looked at Joel sprawled on your couch, his long legs were lying on the coffee table. This Friday night was definitely not supposed to go like this.

After a hard week, you were craving some relaxation. A hot bath, lotion rubbed into your skin, takeout, and some stupid reality show on TV.

And then he showed up.

Joel Miller showed up at your door, bringing you the food containers you had recently brought him and Sarah dinner in. He had no plans to stop by, in fact Tommy was waiting for him at a bar nearby, but he really didn't feel like going there.

So he stayed. You both ate your Chinese food, sipped cold beer, and watched a show about young and beautiful people trying to date each other. This was your Friday night.

"Y/N, I won't judge you, you know that." Joel continued, digging into the box of food with his chopsticks. "Tell me, when was the last time you had a really good date?"

"A long time ago." You replied, feeling the heat creeping up your neck and chest. "Like... Last year? I mean... I thought it was a good date, but he didn't call after that."

"Really?" Joel looked at you in surprise. "What a fucking idiot!"

"Don't say that, you were part of it." You took a sip of your beer. "I shouldn't have answered your call. You asked me to pick Sarah up from training and sit with her for a while, because you were coming home pretty late."

"Shit!" His brown eyes looked like a scolded puppy. "I'm sorry. But you didn't say anything about me fucking up your date."

You shrugged. "That was a year ago, it's not relevant anymore."

Joel's gaze lingered on you for a moment as he analyzed your words. He never thought that by calling or writing to you, he was intruding on your private life. Or that you had another private life apart from him and Sarah.

You had been friends for a few years. It started with you taking Sarah to her friend's house because he couldn't get away from work. And then everything flew like an avalanche. You always found time for his daughter, and he could always count on your help. Sometimes you brought them dinner, it saved their lives when the projects he was working on completely consumed him.

Joel, however, was not just a taker. Whenever you asked him for help, like when you bought a new dresser or when you had a flat tire in your car - he was the first one at your door.

The fact that you were friends also meant that you gave each other presents for birthdays and holidays. You were good together.

"And you?" your voice tore him away from his thoughts about your date for a moment "When was the last time you did that? Or even better!" a sly smile crept onto your face "When was the last time you slept with a lady?"

Joel cleared his throat. He should have expected that, right?

"Pffff... Ummm... That was a long time ago." he replied, pretending he didn't feel embarrassed at all "You know. I'm a single father, I work a lot..."

"So what?" you wondered "I never thought you were lacking anything. Even more! I think it's a treasure to have a guy who knows how to use a drill. It's quite sexy."

"You think so?" he smiled.

"Sure! If you found a girlfriend, I doubt she'd let me use you like that. Sexy handyman."

"Fuck! Don't make fun of me!"

"I'm not doing that!" you laughed as he threw a pillow at you "You should be at that bar than here with me. You're wasting your potential, Joel."

"I'm where I wanted to be." he replied, reaching for the bottle and taking a few sips. "And you?" you looked up from your fried rice. "When was the last time you slept with someone?"

He immediately noticed that you were embarrassed. It even gave him a little satisfaction.

"I'm sure you've noticed that my love life is a disaster." you replied, trying to smile and seem relaxed. "The only thing that seems to live inside me is my vibrator."

You burst out laughing when those words left your mouth, and Joel chuckled himself.

"Fuck, that's pathetic!" you covered your face with your hands. "What's wrong with us, Joel? We should be fucking some super hot people right now! Any place, in any position!"

"One really nice lady would be enough for me." he put the empty bottle on the table and stretched. "By the way. Last time I was here, I mean when I was fixing your bedroom closet door, I also replaced the batteries in your vibrator. The poor thing was barely breathing."

"Oh! Thank you, I guess..."

"The drawer in the nightstand was ajar." he explained seeing your embarrassment. "I hope you'll think of me when you use it. Fuck, that sounded awful."

"What made you think I'm not doing that yet?"

When his dark eyes landed on you, you tried your best not to burst out laughing. A mixture of emotions and strange thoughts was written all over his face. You were sure that in a little while you'd bite your lip trying to hold back your laughter.

"Shit! We're on some really fucking dangerous ground, babe." He mumbled, shaking his head. "I didn't know you from this side."

"Maybe if you saw me as a woman..." you started, but Joel quickly interrupted you.

"Who else am I supposed to see in you?" he snorted. "I'm afraid that soon you'll run out of things I could fix, and then you'll start taking care of... I don't know, fucking flowers... and I don't know anything about that. You bring dinner to my house, you help me with Sarah..."

"Joel, I think you're doing great with Sarah. She adores you!"

"You know what I mean..." he sighed, scratching his already disheveled hair. "She's a young girl, she needs someone like you around her. But when you finally meet a guy, he's not going to let you spend time with a single father and his teenage daughter, right?"

You put the almost empty box on the coffee table and pulled your legs up onto the couch. You understood what Joel meant. Your friendship was something that required incredibly understanding partners if you wanted it to continue. You probably didn't even think about getting involved with someone else because of this what you both had, because of Joel.

The thought of giving up seeing him, listening to his voice, talking to him or just spending time with him doing such completely ordinary and boring things - God, it was terrifying.

He must have been thinking the same thing, because he suddenly fell silent as if what he had said had taken him out of the conversation.

He hadn't planned on ever telling you what he thought about you, honestly, he was afraid it would make you run away. He couldn't give you much, and he thought that a woman like you deserved everything that was best in the world.

"You know, I don't want you to think that me spending time with you is some form of pity." you began uncertainly, trying to find the right words for what you wanted to say "I really love it. You always make me feel good and in the right place. There's not much more I can do for you."

"You're already doing way too much." Joel's hand stroked your leg in a friendly manner "I guess we both benefit from this, right?"

"I guess so." you replied, smiling "Jesus! This is so awkward!"

"Think about how I feel!" Joel put his arms behind his head and stared at the TV "You have your vibrator, and I have to do it manually!"

You started to giggle, "But you definitely don't think about me then!"

"I don't know what gave you the idea that I don't do it. Fuck, I must have fallen out of practice when it comes to flirting."

"A little." you were still laughing, "But it's sweet, you know. And I'm glad we feel comfortable enough with each other to say things like that."

Joel nodded and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. You both focused your gaze on the TV screen again for a moment, but it had been a while since you had watched this show. Every word Joel said was going through your head. You felt several emotions at once, but they were all really nice.

You thought about how good you felt with this guy who treated you really well, even though you weren't in a relationship. At least not a romantic one.

And then the question came that changed everything that evening.

"Have you ever thought that you and I..." his voice was calm, but you knew he was weighing his words before he let them out. "Have you ever thought about what it would be like if we tried?"

"Tried what?" you asked. You had an idea what he meant, but you wanted to know that you were both on the same page.

"Sleep together. I mean, sex." You nodded. "Really? Fuck! I thought there was something wrong with me."

"Why?! Joel, I've always thought you were a handsome guy. And if it makes you feel any better, I've thought about it more than once. I guess that's why you had to change those batteries."

Your laughter filled the room again. If you both felt any unpleasant pressure, then it had definitely dropped to zero. Joel opened his second bottle of beer and took a sip.

"Would you like to have sex with me?"

"Yeah, I would." you replied, completely unfazed.

"Now?"

"Sure."

You had been feeling it for a while now. Excitement was spreading slowly through your body. In your head, although you fought it, all those images of Joel that you had been trying to hide until now appeared. You imagined him in such sinful situations that you were surprised he didn't see it in your eyes.

"I guess you don't have any condoms?" you made a face and he smiled "Okay, I'll go to the store to buy some."

"But let me check something first. If you let me…”

You moved over to him before he could stand up. When your hand touched his cheek, you both smiled nervously. His stubble tickled your hand gently. He didn't lag behind, his hand found its way to your thigh, stroking it gently.

You were the one who kissed him first. It was wonderful to finally feel his lips on yours. You kissed gently, but when you parted your lips a little, Joel took the initiative and slipped his tongue into your mouth. That was it. A shiver ran down your spine. His tongue caressed you as he deepened each kiss, and his hands quickly and efficiently pulled you onto his lap.

You couldn't stop kissing him, and he returned each kiss with such enthusiasm, as if he had been waiting for it for a really long time. You slid your fingers into his hair and tugged lightly, and Joel groaned quietly. The bulge in his jeans was rubbing hard against your thigh.

"Condoms." he panted. "We need... Fuck..."

"Yeah, I know..." your lips collided again. "Go. Now."

With considerable difficulty, you got off his lap. Your heart was beating like crazy.

"Ten minutes." he said, quickly standing and unconsciously adjusting his jeans, which had become a bit tighter, you giggled. "Don't move from here."

"I won't do that."

He leaned in once more, kissing you hard, and quickly left the apartment.

He came back just as he promised. For a split second you saw uncertainty in his eyes, but when he saw you were waiting for him he immediately brightened up.

"No judging." You said, quickly taking off his shirt "I don't look like those sexy girls from tv shows."

"Shut up!" He silenced you with a kiss as his hands ripped off your shorts "You're a thousand times sexier. I'm afraid I'll come before I get inside you."

"I don't care. We have all night, Joel."

The first time you saw him naked, it was better than anything you had imagined. His strong and wide shoulders, narrow waist and soft belly. His manhood was already hard and ready.

"Jesus, have you seen yourself?" His voice tore you from your whirlwind of thoughts "You look like a million dollars."

His eyes, full of admiration, wandered over your body. You suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

"Oh, don't hide it from me." he groaned as you tried to cover your breasts. "It's you. You're fucking perfect."

His large, warm hands cupped your face as he kissed you slowly. You felt the bed behind you and soon you were lying with him on top of you. It was overwhelming, feeling his weight on you as his lips trailed down your neck, to your sternum, kissing your breasts, nibbling on them gently. You moaned as Joel's mouth captured your nipple, sucking and teasing it with his tongue. One of his hands slid between your thighs and soon you felt his fingers running over your already slick folds.

"Is this for me?" he asked, lifting his eyes and looking at you with appreciation.

Heat crept up to your neck and cheeks. His bedroom eyes made your pussy drool at the sight of him. Joel was clearly delighted by this though.

"Let me make you feel good." he purred, kissing your breast a few times, then moving lower. Fuck. You weren't ready for this. A few kisses on your thighs, the feeling of his stubble brushing against your delicate skin, and then a slow lick of your folds. You closed your eyes, feeling as if all your nerves had gone crazy.

His mouth found the bundle of nerves that made your head spin with every movement of his tongue. Two of his fingers slid inside you, stretching your walls pleasantly. It was incredible to feel him. It seemed as if Joel took incredible pleasure in exploring your body and was quickly learning what you liked. His fingers pushed back and forth as he licked and sucked, and you couldn't manage anything but moans.

"Jesus, you're so beautiful right now, baby." he whispered as your body arched as his fingers touched that spot. "I've imagined you like this so many times. Naked, thighs spread, waiting for me."

"Joel... please..."

"I know, I know, baby." he kissed your thigh tenderly "I can feel you're close. You squeeze my fingers so nicely, suck them into you."

His movements became faster and stronger. You clenched your hands on the sheets feeling like you were losing control over your body.

"Let go, Y/N. I'm here, let go."

And you did. You moaned loudly as you reached your peak, and your legs trembled. It was amazing. He was amazing.

Before you could catch your breath Joel was on top of you again, his beard glistening with your juices, but you didn't mind. You put your hand on his neck and pulled him in, kissing him hard. You felt your taste on his lips. Addictive.

"I want to be inside you." he whispered, pressing his forehead to yours "I want it so bad."

"I want it too. I want to feel you, Joel."

He stood up and reached for the foil package, which he opened with his teeth. You watched as he put on a condom and leaned over you again. His tip slid over your entrance a few times before he slid inside you.

The air escaped your lungs as he pushed his entire length into you, stretching your delicate walls. The stretch felt so good. When his cock was inside you all the way to the base, you both froze for a moment.

"Fuck..." Joel whispered, tearing his gaze away from where he disappeared inside you and looking at your face "You're so tight, baby. You wrap me around so well..."

"And you're so big, I was afraid you wouldn't fit." You giggled and soon all the stress drained from you "I don't think I'll last much longer. It's wonderful to feel you."

"Don't worry, sweetie." His lips kissed yours lightly "Like you said, we have all night. Ready?"

You nodded and Joel pushed, going even deeper. His cock would slide out of you, then return with much greater force. You pulled your legs up to give him easier access. Joel found your hands and held them above your head. It gave him full control, and you didn't mind.

"Fuck. I don't know why we waited so long with this..." he gasped as his hips slammed into yours, the dirty sounds filling your ears. "I've been thinking about you for so long."

"Really? I thought... OOHHHH! I thought you only saw me as a friend..."

"Remember when you came to Sarah's soccer game? In those tight shorts? Fuck! I already wanted to drag you to the truck and fuck you hard."

"Jesus!" you bit your lip, Joel hitting exactly where you wanted him to, "When you were helping me with the air conditioning."

"What about that?"

"It must have been a million degrees here. I was melting, and then I saw your shirt lift up, exposing part of your lower back. Damn, I was waiting for you to go away so I could reach for that fucking vibrator."

"Fuck!" Joel hid his face in your hair, "You're going to kill me. Tell me you're close, I can't hold out much longer."

You were already on the edge, his cock pushing in exactly where you needed it. He let go of your hand, gripping your hip tightly. His movements were becoming increasingly erratic and unpredictable.

"Joel, I'm so close... so close..." you moaned.

His mouth unexpectedly captured your nipple, sucking it hard. That was it. A strong shiver ran through your body as the walls of your pussy clenched in a sweet spasm of pleasure flooding your body. Joel was right behind you. He didn't need much. When he felt you tighten around him, he was done. He came with a loud groan, burying his face in your shoulder, digging his fingers into your soft hip.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." he breathed out "You're amazing. Just fucking amazing."

"You're not bad either." You laughed quietly, wrapping your arms around him.

He wanted to stay in your arms, but you both knew he had to clean up. Joel lifted himself up and slid out of you, holding the end of the condom carefully, then went to throw it in the trash can in the bathroom.

"You have a really nice butt." You murmured as he laid down next to you again.

"You think so?" He laughed, "I think yours is much better, but thanks."

You lay next to each other, breathing deeply, in a sweet state of total fulfillment and relaxation. It felt nice to have him next to you, within arm's reach, in a more intimate way.

Joel must have been thinking the same thing, because soon his hand found yours in the sheets, he brought it to his lips and kissed it.

"Did you like it?" he asked, turning his head to look at you.

"Very much. I would gladly repeat it a few more times." you replied smiling widely "And you? What do you think about it?"

"Same here." he replied "But I wouldn't want it to destroy what is between us."

"Joel, I don't expect any declarations from you." you turned around and leaned on your elbow looking at him closely "We feel good together, I like you a lot, I actually have a soft spot for you for a long time. Let's just let it flow, you know. We'll see where it takes us."

"That's probably a good idea." he mumbled, his fingers brushing away strands of your hair "You're beautiful, you know..."

"Those are declarations!" you lightly patted him on the shoulder.

"No. That's a fact, actually."

You smiled, and his heart beat faster for a moment. He already knew he was lost, but he didn't want to say it. Not now, when you said 'no' to all declarations.

"Maybe you'd like to have dinner with me tomorrow?" he finally suggested "Sarah's on a school trip. She won't be back until Monday. We could have a nice time. See where it takes us..."

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"You know... I'm glad we did it."

"Me too." You leaned in, kissing him lightly on the corner of his mouth "And you know what else I'm happy about?" and seeing his questioning look you added "We still have a few condoms, and the night is still young."

"You're going to kill me, you know that?" Joel burst out laughing.

But his arms were already gathering you to him and you were lying on his chest, you liked this position and you were going to use it well.

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

#joel miller #pedro pascal #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader

372 notes · View notes

nicka-nell · 17 days

Note

wow ok read the recent request and I gotta say that was pretty heavy. Can we have a similar request but with a light angst with the remaining characters ??? I like the previous request

Hi, of course! :)) I've had really little time lately but I hope you like it anyway. I would say that all three contain rather mild angst compared to the previous ones. So I hope you enjoy it more. 💚

Regretting their actions

Pairing: Kuroo x, Ushijima x, Sakusa x reader

Warning: angst to fluff

Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

Kuroo finally made it. He has a job he enjoys. A job that also pays well financially and provides stability.

However, this job also involves some overtime and company trips.

In the beginning, he tried to keep to the working hours as much as possible. After all, he didn’t want to neglect you. However, the overtime increased year by year.

You often tried to gently point out to him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, but most of the time, your remarks were met with anger and ended in an argument.

At some point, you stopped and tried to suppress his increasingly frequent absences. Even if it hurt you.

Sometimes you lie in bed, looking at the empty space next to you, before the screen of your phone lights up and the usual message from Kuroo appears. “Sorry, kitten, but I can’t make it home today. But I’ll be there tomorrow at the end of the day.”

A message that raises so many doubts in you. What if he’s not at work at all and is seeing another woman? You’ve hardly had any time together in the last few months. Just a good morning kiss before work... that was all.

Does he no longer loves you? Does he possibly have a girlfriend and is leading a double life? No, Kuroo wouldn’t do that.

You’ve already reminded Kuroo three times this week that it’s your niece’s birthday today and that she’s looking forward to finally seeing him again. Because your niece loves Kuroo. Your boyfriend kept telling you before work that he had the date in his calendar and that he would definitely be home in time for the two of you to go to your niece’s together. You believed him. After all, the date was important to you. But you soon realize that this was just another lie. An empty promise.

Because when you look at your watch, it’s ten minutes before departure... and Kuroo still hasn’t arrived. He didn’t even reply to your “I’m looking forward to this afternoon.” You wait another four minutes, but nothing happens. In the end, you take the train to your niece’s house. Alone, without Kuroo. Because he doesn’t answer your messages or your calls.

Your little niece is so sad when she opens the door and looks up at you, realizing that you have come alone. It’s not that she doesn’t like you, but her dear uncle Kuroo always does so much nonsense with her. What did she once said? The aunts and grannies are there to go shopping and with the uncles and grandpas you have fun. Not exactly nice, but whatever.

She looks at you with sad eyes. “Isn’t uncle Kuroo coming? Doesn’t uncle Kuroo like me anymore?” she asks tearfully as you try to calm her down somehow. It takes a long time for her to stop crying, and that on her birthday. And as if that wasn’t enough, you also get asked by your brother and your parents if everything is all right with you and your boyfriend. Whether you are still together at all. Because even at the last events, you were always there alone. When they passed by your home, only you were ever present.

“No, no, everything’s fine. Tetsu’s just really busy today,” you reply with a forced smile, even though you don’t know where you stand as a couple right now. Can you even call what the two of you have a relationship?

As you head home in the evening, the apartment is still empty, just as expected. You sigh as you put your bag down and go into the bathroom to get ready for bed. The apartment seems so bitter as you lie down under the cold sheets, but you don’t care. You don’t even look at your phone anymore, because you know that Kuroo hasn’t texted you anyway. Nor do you mind that the bed is empty. Because that has also become a habit by now. Just then, you realize that tears are suddenly running down your cheeks. Yet you don’t even bother to wipe them away because no one will see them anyway.

Kuroo curses as he looks at his watch. His day had been stressful. So stressful that he didn’t even have time to look at his phone or check the time. Only when it got darker outside did he realize that he had once again worked too long.

“Shit,” he curses again as he stands in front of the entrance door. Should he go back to get flowers for you? After all, he promised you he wouldn’t work so late. No, never mind. Staying away any longer will only upset you more.

“Hey kitten, I’m sorry I was gone so long again. I know I said that-” but when Kuroo enters the living room, the light is off. You’re not in the kitchen either. Have you gone to bed already? He walks quietly towards the bedroom, but his hand stops on the door handle when he hears you sniffle.

“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, immediately moving past the bed to your side to kneel in front of it. Only now do you realize that Kuroo has returned home. You look at him almost empty-eyed. “Nothing...” you reply and want to turn away from him, but his hand holds onto your shoulder.

“Don’t say nothing when you’re obviously crying. Is it because I’m here so late again? I’m really sorry... I’ve completely lost track of time. I’m trying-”

“I suppose you’ve forgotten my niece’s birthday? She cried bitterly today... and not only that. I was asked today if we’re still together because you’ve never been to celebrations lately. And honestly? I don’t even know myself...” You say in frustration and watch Kuroo’s eyes suddenly widen.

Today was your niece’s birthday... You had told him several times during the week and yet he had forgotten. Kuroo doesn’t even know how to answer you. There is no answer that can please you. Because Kuroo has completely fucked up. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again.

“Maybe we should really break-”

“No, no don’t say that. I know I fucked up. I know I promised you I’d work less overtime and be there for you more often. I know I didn’t stick to any of that. But please. I can change.” His answer interrupts yours, his voice soft and yet so panicked as he looks at you pleadingly. But you can’t help but laugh in frustration. “I’ve already asked my brother... I can stay with him for a while.”

You see the fear in his face as he tries to struggle for words. His shoulders begin to shake before he opens his mouth. Kuroo has no arguments to defend himself. In the end, he just failed. Made you sad. Neglected you. It had to get that far before he finally understood that. But when he looks at your sad face, he knows that he has no right to stop you.

“Yeah... if that’s what you want... I don’t want to stop you... make you any more miserable.” He replies dejectedly before squeezing your shoulder a little tighter to stand up to leave you alone in the bedroom. To give you the tranquility that you would prefer over his presence. But his legs won’t let him go any further as he stops in front of the door, just a step away from the hallway.

Instead of leaving the room, he turns in your direction, switches on the big light and goes back to your bedside. “No, I can’t do that. I know I don’t have the right, but I just can’t let you go. I have neglected you. I have neglected us. And although you reminded me several times, I forgot your niece’s birthday. I don’t even want to imagine how sad she was that I wasn’t there, or how sad you must have been that I couldn’t keep my promise again. I am sorry that I have once again failed as a boyfriend. I know I probably look like the biggest asshole and my words sound like lies to you. But please... I love you and I mean it when I say I’m sorry. I enjoy my job, even if it is stressful. But I’ve probably lost sight of the most important thing, and that’s you. Please... please, if there’s still a little bit of hope, tell me how to make it right.” Kuroo says, looking you in the eye with determination, even though he is struggling to keep his composure.

You sit up in bed and look down at him, still kneeling in front of you. You love him, but what’s the point if he can’t keep his promises anyway? Still, when he looks at you like that… with these sad eyes… as if he’s about to break apart… “I’m staying with my brother for a week from tomorrow... I need a clear head. So use this week to think about how you can set things right. And maybe... maybe there will still be a future for us.” You answer him more coldly than you actually wanted to and look over at the empty side of the bed. “And now go to bed... there’s no point sleeping on the sofa in the living room. It’ll only make your back ache.” you add, before crawling back under the covers and closing your eyes. Not waiting to see if Kuroo actually lies down next to you or not.

The week you spend with your brother is like a wake-up call for Kuroo. A reminder that he needs to change something.

He writes to you every day before he leaves for work. A simple “Good morning, I hope you have a good start to the day” and in the evening he always writes to you when he’s on his way home.

Nevertheless, overall he leaves you in peace. Just like you wanted.

After the week you spent with your brother, you now stand in front of the entrance to your own home and take a deep breath. Wondering if Kuroo is home yet.

He should actually be at home. After all, his working hours are over. Did he keep his promise? You open the door and step inside. The apartment looks exactly the same as it did when you left it a week ago. Tidy, clean. Almost as if no one lived here. And as you might expect, Kuroo’s shoes are also missing. So nothing has changed after all. Standing in the hallway, you laugh in frustration and shake your head as you suddenly hear a key in the door lock and Kuroo enters.

A little surprised to see you, his eyes widen. “H-Hey...” he says almost shyly as he stands in front of you. Kuroo has a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a bag of groceries in the other. “I thought... maybe we could cook together and then... talk afterwards. That’s why I went grocery shopping after work, but I guess most people do it after work. It was really crowded...” he clicks his tongue and tilts his head to the side with a somewhat strained smile.

So he did finish work on time? “And the flowers? Are they there for cooking too?” you ask, unconsciously breaking the tense atmosphere between you. Kuroo just rolls his eyes and you see the tips of his ears turn red as he hands you the bouquet. “Of course not. They’re for you... for the best woman in the world.” His last words are quiet, but you hear them well.

Kuroo and you cook together, even if it’s a bit strange at first.

You both don’t quite know what to say or how to behave.

But while you wait for your food to be ready, Kuroo speaks up, pushes a chair back and asks you to take a seat at the dining table before sitting opposite you and taking your hands in his.

He tells you that he has only worked one hour of overtime this week. That he has applied for an assistant so that he can hand over some of his work and therefore work less overtime.

He tells you about all this in such an excited tone, as if you’ve just had your first date and he’s asking you out. Kuroo seems to be making a real effort...

“You know, there are even therapists who deal with people who work too much and-” says Kuroo, but you interrupt him directly. “Tetsurou... I’m not asking you to go to a therapist. If what you’ve said is true, then... that’s a good start.” His posture relaxes abruptly at your statement before he grips your hands tighter again and rests his head on them, sighing with relief. He had fully expected you to draw a line today after all the lonely nights he had given you. After all the empty promises. And here you both are, sitting together, and he can’t believe how good-natured you are. “That means... you’ll give me another chance?” he asks, but doesn’t lift his head from your hands.

“One last one... so don’t mess it up Tetsurou.” you reply much more gently this time.

You’ve been together with Ushijima for a long time. You know his personality, that he tends to be quiet, sometimes blunt, and doesn’t talk much. Nevertheless, his lack of words sometimes makes you uneasy.

Something that Ushijima often can’t understand, because after all, that’s how you met. It usually ends with you just nodding off at some point and saying that you must have been imagining things and you just pretend that nothing happened.

But lately he’s been so quiet again. Even more distant than before.

Whenever he comes home from training, he goes straight to the kitchen to make himself a protein shake. Then straight to the bathroom to put his sports clothes in the washing machine and then gets ready for bed. Somewhere in between, he greets you with an almost indifferent “hello”.

You know that Ushijima is a little different, that his communication sometimes falls short. But his current behavior is unsettling even for you.

Has he perhaps met someone new? Does he no longer love you?

No... you don’t want to have thoughts like that. And yet you have them, and yet they don’t stop you from asking Ushijima this one question when he’s about to go to bed.

“Be honest Toshi... do you have another person you see next to me? Well... I don’t mean friends, but... a potential love interest?” The question slips out a little more reproachfully than you would have liked.

Ushijima looks at you with wide eyes as he puts on a T-shirt to go to bed. He can’t believe you actually asked him that. He has enough stress at the moment with the upcoming championship games. Now you’re just throwing in your insecurity. He doesn’t need that right now. “Do you really think I have the time or energy to deal with another relationship? This one is stressful enough at times,” he says almost coldly.

Wow... you think. It feels like he’s hitting a volleyball right against your chest. It hurts. “So you see me as a burden?” you try to say in a calm voice, but it’s already shaking. Ushijima just shakes his head in annoyance before climbing into bed next to you.

“When you ask questions like that, yes. Where do you come up with such nonsense? Do you have so little self-esteem?” says Ushijima before switching off the light on the bedside cabinet and turning towards you. “Let’s go to sleep now. I have to get up in the morning. And stop thinking such nonsense.” He says, as if he hadn’t hurt your feelings with his words earlier, before leaning in to kiss you goodnight, but you just turn around and avoid him. “Good night...” you mumble coolly, but Ushijima doesn’t think much of it.

Only after several days does he realize that something is different. You hardly talk to him, not at all, in fact. You no longer cook for him either. Maybe not in general? You’re often out until late in the evening and only come to bed when Ushijima is already asleep. But when he asks you what’s wrong, you just answer with a strange smile and say “nothing”. Ushijima doesn’t understand a thing.

It’s only when he’s on the phone with Tendou and the two of them are talking about all sorts of things, about how Ushijima is very stressed right now from training and the upcoming championships, that he mentions in passing that you’re behaving strangely. Tendou has known Ushijima for a long time. So he can guess that Ushijima has once again misunderstood something or said things that came across wrongly. When Ushijima tells him about the conversation with you a few days ago, Tendou sighs loudly into the phone. “Wakatoshi, that’s the stupidest thing you could have said to her. Does your better half know that you’re under a lot of stress at the moment?”

“Of course not. After all, it’s not something she can change. So she doesn’t have to worry about it.” As soon as Ushijima has spoken his sentence, he hears the sigh on the other side of the line again. “Wakatoshi, that’s not how a relationship works. How long have you been together now? Almost six years... She’s just worried about you. And if she then asks you whether there might be another woman in your life, ‘Don’t ask such stupid questions, why do you have so little self-esteem’ is not exactly the best answer.” Tendou imitates Ushijima.

He is surprised that he still has a girlfriend at all with this manner. Maybe he needs to fly to Japan more often after all… To give Ushijima a good slap on the back of the blunt man’s head.

“I just wanted to tell her that she’s a great woman and I can’t understand how she can have such thoughts when she’s perfect,” Ushijima replies as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Yet Tendou has to spend half an hour talking to Ushijima about how wrong his behavior was before he finally realizes it himself. So he decides to go home after training and wait for you, no matter how long it takes.

Sighing, you stand in front of the front door. On the one hand, you hope that Ushijima is already asleep, but on the other, you don’t want to continue with the silent treatment. You shake your head and open the door, only to see Ushijima sitting in the living room, his hands clasped together as he rests his arms on his thighs.

“Wakatoshi?” You ask, a little irritated, as you notice him staring into space. You can’t interpret his gaze. “Can you please sit down? We need to talk.” He says in a firm voice that makes your heart beat uncomfortably faster. You know you haven’t done anything wrong, and yet it feels like you have. Nevertheless, you nod, sit down next to him and look in his direction. He mirrors your movement. Only he doesn’t look at you with concern, but neutrally as always.

“I...” he begins, but then his voice drops. He doesn’t quite know how to start. After all, that’s never been his strength. “What is it, Wakatoshi?” you ask almost impatiently. After all, if he wants to end the relationship, he should keep it short. That will hurt, but maybe it’s better that way.

“I have hurt you. Seemingly very deeply. I’m sorry about that. It’s not that I don’t love you. I do and I thought you knew that too. Maybe I didn’t express myself properly, no actually, I didn’t express myself properly. But I can’t understand why you think that I might have another woman for whom I have feelings. You are a wonderful woman. Strong, independent, intelligent and attractive. For me, you are just right the way you are. I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side. I thought you would see yourself the way I see you.” Ushijima looks deep into your eyes with every word, his complete focus on you, before glancing briefly to the side. As if he’s thinking about what else he wants to say. Then he turns back to you and puts his hand on your thigh.

“We’re really under a lot of stress at the moment with our training. But that’s not something I want to burden you with in any way. After all, there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. And you shouldn’t have to worry about your husband. So… If I hurt you with my words, I’m sorry.” His words are sincere and the uneasy feeling you felt in your chest is suddenly gone. You should have known that Ushijima doesn’t love another woman. After all, it’s Ushijima.

“Let’s go out for dinner together at the weekend. Just the two of us. Let’s talk, spend time together. There hasn’t been enough of that lately.” Ushijima says, turning you more towards him by your thigh before wrapping his hands around your waist and placing you on his lap with ease.

“Wakatoshi!” you shriek briefly. His head is on your shoulder, his breath warm on your skin. “I’m really sorry that my words hurt you,” he whispers softly, starting to rub your back with his thumb as he holds you close to his chest. You are no longer angry with him. Has been no longer. Actually, you are glad that he told you how he felt.

“Going out for dinner sounds good,” you say softly and put your arms around him. As you answer, you feel him squeeze you a little tighter. As if he wants to tell you how grateful he is that you show understanding for him.

Actually, everything is going well between you and Sakusa. You both harmonize well, have similar interests and friends. The only thing that is a little difficult is the fact that you have to keep your relationship a secret.

At least Sakusa wants to keep the relationship private because he doesn’t want paparazzi following you around or some crazy fans sending you threatening letters or maybe even hurting you.

Sakusa is very cautious when it comes to you.

So apart from your closest friends, your family and his agency, nobody knows about your relationship.

However, it is becoming more difficult from year to year. Because there are already pictures that have been made public. Pictures in which you are seen with Sakusa. Sitting together in a coffee shop or going for a walk in the park. You’ve even been photographed while buying groceries.

There are also more and more rumors about you. “Who is the unknown woman who is always in the front row at every game?”, ”Is this young lady the girlfriend of athlete Kiyoomi Sakusa?”

Today Sakusa forgot his sports shoes. Since you work in the same building as the agency that has him under contract, you decide to simply take the shoes with you. After all, Sakusa told you today that he has an appointment at his agency before he goes to training.

With a slight nod, you greet the security people at the entrance to the third floor where the agency for athletes is located. You’ve already been here a few times, so it’s easy for you to find the right way. You stop in front of Sakusa’s manager’s office. In front of the office, you see that the door is slightly open and that people are talking. Sakusa was one of them. You briefly consider knocking and going in, but when you hear the next words, you stand still, petrified.

“Sakusa-san, are you sure you want to bring your relationship with Ms. Abe into the public eye? Ms. Abe is a popular tennis player. It would draw a lot of attention to both of you,” says Sakusa’s manager. Soon after, the sound of a woman giggling rings out, followed immediately by Sakusa’s voice.

“That’s fine... I think it’s for the best. But before we go through with this -” you don’t hear the last words, because you’ve already set the bag with the shoes down outside the office and rushed back to your own workplace.

You can’t concentrate all day long. You keep thinking about that conversation you had heard earlier. About Sakusa... wanting to make a relationship public? Only now do you realize what that actually means. Does this mean that Sakusa has been cheating on you the whole time and you were nothing but a pleasant distraction for him?

Frustrated, you stomp home after work, thinking about all the things you want to say. Everything you want to throw at Sakusa. When you arrive home, the apartment is still empty. Nothing unusual, because Sakusa wanted to go to his training after the meeting. So he’ll probably be gone for several more hours. Or did he just use that as an excuse to meet up with his new girlfriend?

You laugh bitterly, rolling your eyes at the thought of Sakusa’s name appearing in the magazines next to the name of that tennis player .... “Ridiculous...” you snort, and walk into the living room, where, ironically, the picture of Sakusa and you immediately comes into view. A photo of the two of you on vacation. You were in Norway. A country where Sakusa isn’t really well known. That’s why you could enjoy your vacation without paparazzi. In the photo you are in a small restaurant, outside on the terrace, both smiling intimately into the camera. Was it all just an act?

Furious, you grab the photo and throw it on the floor. The glass breaks and all the shards lie on the ground. “Damn...” you curse, annoyed at yourself for your outburst as you kneel down to pick up the pieces. But a familiar voice makes you flinch.

“My love, is everything all right?” you hear Sakusa, who must have come home a few seconds ago, dropping his bag in the hallway and looking in your direction with wide eyes. He left training on time today because he thought it was strange that his sports bag was in front of his manager’s door, but you weren’t there.

But now the time has come. The pain in your chest suddenly gets impossible to bear, your mouth quivers and your eyes are all warm as big tears run down your cheeks. A sight that really knocks Sakusa off his feet. Immediately he rushes in your direction, kneels down next to you and takes your hands in his to see if you have cut yourself. But your body seems to be unharmed.

“W-what’s wrong?” he asks again, concerned, before you pull your hands out of his grip and stare at him angrily. “When... when were you going to tell me you had another girl? And what are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you be at training or with your new lover?” you say angrily, but don’t raise your voice.

Sakusa tries to follow your words, even if he can’t understand them at first. But then he realizes… The bag in the hallway, your tears... you must have heard part of the conversation he had this afternoon. But you probably haven’t heard everything. The man with the raven-black curls closes his eyes before taking a deep breath and looking at you again, trying to reach for your hands.

“You’ve completely misunderstood something-” he is about to start, but you interrupt him directly. “Don’t say ‘it’s not what it looks like’. You can spare that phrase, Kiyoomi!” you say a little louder now, but Sakusa doesn’t back down and continues to try to talk to you calmly.

“Please Y/n... I want you to listen to me for a minute... just a minute... After that you can still be mad at me. Is that possible?” Sakusa grabs your hands this time, pulls you up with him and leads you to the sofa. “Sit down, please.” You’re actually reluctant, but you’ve been together for so long now... you can give him that one minute, can’t you? You grudgingly sit down, but don’t look at him.

“Lately, paparazzi are getting bolder and bolder... even the other day there were some in the supermarket who wanted to take pictures of us... I’m just worried that your face will eventually be in all the newspapers and platforms and you’ll no longer be able to live your life carefree, but will always have these people at your back, following you,” says Sakusa somewhat awkwardly. Almost as if he himself is unsure whether what he wants to tell you is plausible for you. But before he can continue, you interrupt him directly and give him an angry look.

“Oh, and that’s why you thought you’d find a new girlfriend who’s already a celebrity and just date her? Then you can go out without hiding? Is that it?” you’re struggling to keep your voice under control. Sakusa’s eyes widen and he shrinks back for a moment, his hands almost in a protective position in front of his chest as he shakes his head.

“Wait, no, it’s not like that. I don’t have another relationship. Well, okay wait. I thought it might be good if I publicly revealed a fake relationship with another celebrity. Of course, it’s not real and we’re not really a couple. But I thought it would take the pressure off you and you could-”

You can’t believe what Sakusa is saying right now. Is he really serious? If it’s true, why is he talking to his manager first and not to you? Doesn’t he care about your feelings? “Do you actually... don’t think at all? How do you think I would feel when I read the messages and your name is everywhere with the name of your fake girlfriend? Have you ever thought about the fact that this is extremely hurtful to me? I would rather be seen in public with you than see you with someone else ‘for my supposed freedom and privacy’. How would you feel if I introduced another man to the whole world as my boyfriend just to ‘protect’ you?” The words you say so loudly hit Sakusa, and he gets quiet. He doesn’t even know what to say anymore. Your question slaps him hard. How would he feel… The thought of seeing you with another man makes him angry, sad... and somehow helpless?

“I...” Sakusa begins, but immediately doesn’t know how to continue. “I’m sorry, that was probably stupid of me.” He then says, tilting his head downwards. Sighing, you stand up and shake your head once more before walking past Sakusa.

“You know, you never asked me, but I wouldn’t mind if people knew my face. It’s more important to me to do things with you without having to hide. You’re always the one who overdramatizes and worries unnecessarily... Whatever… I’m going to bed now. Good night.” You no longer wait for his answer. Instead, you go straight to the bathroom and get ready for bed.

Sakusa remains seated in the living room. He knows exactly that it wouldn’t be right to talk to you now, that you want to be left alone. Especially since he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to tell you. He just knows that his action was really stupid.

Sakusa hadn’t signed a contract with the tennis player and the two agencies yet, because he wanted to talk to you about it first, but at the moment his own idea to protect your privacy disgusts him. He really should have talked to you first about how you feel, whether you want to be in the public eye, instead of drawing any conclusions. Sakusa sighs, leans back against the sofa and closes her eyes. “Idiot...” he whispers quietly.

Two days pass and you are still disappointed by Sakusa’s behavior. Even though he probably only meant well. You haven’t really spoken much either. Just the usual “Good morning, have a nice day at work...”, “How was your day?” and all that sort of things.

Still at work, you just can’t concentrate and start massaging your temples when suddenly one of your colleagues shrieks and starts giggling. “Hey, isn’t that Sakusa Kiyoomi? What’s he doing here? His agency is upstairs, isn’t it?” she asks one of her colleagues, who quickly reaches for her make-up mirror and fixes her hair.

Now you too turn your head forward and see Sakusa walking in your direction with a bunch of white lilies. Everyone looks after him, puzzled, and you also stare at him with irritation as he stops in front of you. “Uhm... I wanted to bring these over to you because I have to go upstairs to talk to my manager about a photo shoot.”

The whispering of your colleagues gets louder and louder and you still look a little confused, but you take the bouquet and stand up. “Kiyoomi, what is this about?” you whisper to him, not quite knowing how to react. Sakusa grazes your arm, wanders up to your cheek and looks deep into your eyes. “You were right. I should never have had this stupid idea. I should have asked you. And even if I’m worried about you, I only want to see you by my side in any pictures on the internet. After all, you are the woman I love. I’m really sorry. Will you... accept my clumsy apology?” Sakusa gazes at you with such a puppy-dog look that you can’t help but put the bouquet on your table and jump into his arms.

Of course, Sakusa did not sign the contract with the tennis player.

At his next match, you’re in the front row as usual, and when Sakusa scores the final point to victory and his team cheers along with him, he immediately runs to you, pulling you over the barrier to hold you in his arms before setting you down and cupping your cheeks with his hands. Just a few seconds later, you feel his lips on yours, cameras pointing at you and taking photos. But you couldn’t care less. “You know, I’ve wanted to do this so many times before,” he says calmly, leaning his forehead against your own.

Although everyone knows your face now, Sakusa is always reserved in interviews when it comes to private questions.

He will not answer questions about you if they become too personal.

In the beginning, the paparazzi and reporters were really a nuisance, but everything calmed down over time and the two of you can go out and enjoy dates together without being followed, just like back then, before his career.

#haikyuu x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #Sakusa x reader #ushijima x reader #kuroo x reader #tetsurou kuroo x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader

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archangeldyke-all · 29 days

Note

Size queen Sevika has a chokehold on my mind right now so I was wondering what it would be like using the ejaculating strap on her AAA

Maybe some breeding kink thrown in there too jsksjsjsjsksk

heheheheheheheh i'm gonna make this ceo sev because i miss her!!

men and minors dni

before you were married, sevika made an effort to keep your love lives and your work lives separate-- not wanting it to seem like you had any kind of unfair advantage because of your relationship status to the ceo. your little desk was tucked in the corner of sevika's office back then, where you could eavesdrop on her meetings and make appointments and calls with her without interrupting or interfering with her work.

but now that you've tied the knot, sevika's given up on trying to pretend like you aren't her favorite employee. she's rearranged her office completely, so there's enough room for two matching desks, pushed right up against one another. it leaves no room for sevika to have visitors in her office, you guys play footsie all day, and when she looks up from her work the first thing she sees is you. she loves it.

you love it too.

but it has its drawbacks, because it means you can't hide anything from your wife. like the package you're opening right now with your name on it-- a package you'd completely forgotten about ordering-- a package containing what was supposed to be sevika's birthday present this year.

when you realize what it is-- it's too late. sevika's already seen the way you gasped and heard the little giggle you let out before quickly closing the box again.

"whatcha got, baby?" she asks, her foot reaching out to hook around your ankle.

you clear your throat and shove the package into a drawer, shaking your head. "nothing." you say. dammit. that sounds suspicious as hell.

sevika tilts her head, her gaze sharpening a bit, a smile growing on her lips. "nothing?" she asks. you huff.

"fine. it's something but i can't tell you what it is for a number of reasons."

"reasons being?"

"reasons being you have a birthday coming up and i want to surprise you and you have a meeting in half an hour that you cannot be late to."

and goddamn your wife for being so fucking smart. and so fucking pretty.

sevika's brow furrows for a moment, her eyes darting to the side as her mind races with the possibilities of what could be in the package, and you swear you can actually hear a bell go off inside her head when she perks up in her seat and looks back at you with a sparkle in her eye and a smile.

"baby..." she starts. you huff.

"sevika if you ruin your birthday present i'm not getting you ano--"

"did you get me a dildo for my birthday?" she asks fondly. you groan and kick your wife's shin, and she cackles. "you're incredible!" she laughs.

"it was supposed to be a surprise sevika, you're such an asshole." you pout.

"well lemme see!" she demands, making grabby hands across her desk.

you giggle and give up on trying to surprise your wife. it's never worked before. you pass the package across your desks, and sevika tears into it like a kid on christmas morning.

you check behind your shoulder to make sure none of your coworkers are looking through the glass walls as sevika gasps with shock. "you got me a fuckin' breeding strap?"

when you turn back around in your seat, sevika's holding the dildo box to her chest like it's a teddy bear, and there are stars in her eyes. you cackle.

"would you put that away before somebody sees you?!" you ask. sevika giggles and puts the box back inside the cardboard packaging it came in. "and to answer your question... no. i didn't." you say.

sevika blinks up at you, caught off guard. "y-you didn't?" she asks. you smirk and stand, reaching across your desk to tug your wife across hers by her tie until your lips are only a few inches apart.

"i got me a breeding strap. all you're getting is the synthetic cum i'm gonna fill you with tonight." sevika gulps and you smirk, leaning forward to kiss her parted lips. "now, i gotta go set up the conference room for your meeting, so be a good girl for me and put that away for me and look over your notes." you demand as you turn around to leave your office.

the last thing you hear before the glass door closes behind you is your wife's sweet groan.

sevika glares at you the entire meeting. she's also rock hard the entire meeting.

of course, you're the only one who notices this last part--with your hand casually palming her cock under the solid wood table the entire time; so the looks she's giving you must be incredibly confusing for your coworkers. seamus even asks you after the meeting if everything's been alright at home. you have to hold back a cackle as you assure him that things have literally never been better.

and it's true. every day you fall deeper and deeper in love with your wife. you know the same is true for her, it's proven in how fucking fast she drives home.

in the very beginning of your relationship, sevika never bottomed. but as she grew more secure in your connection, she allowed herself to be more vulnerable with you... and now, three years married, your wife's a loud and proud size queen.

she's jittery with excitement on the elevator ride up to your apartment. when you get home, she kicks her shoes off, tears off her tie, and smacks your ass as she sprints to the bathroom. "you put your dick on, i'll go get ready!!" she giggles.

you snort, your heart swelling with fondness as you wander to the bedroom and begin getting ready.

the dildo's a little tricky to figure out, and you have to research if your synthetic cum is microwave safe, and how long to microwave it to make it warm enough to feel like real cum-- but by the time you're all ready, sevika's running out of the bathroom butt-naked and grinning.

she launches herself onto the bed, spreading out like a starfish on her belly as you giggle. "come on!" she says, shaking her ass a bit at you. you snort.

"you're fuckin' ridiculous." you giggle as you crawl on top of your wife. "hips up." you whisper, shoving a pillow under her hips to give her a better angle and something to grind against. she starts grinding immediately. you smack her ass and she yelps. "don't get too worked up baby. you're not allowed to cum until you milk my load outta me."

sevika shivers and claws the blankets beneath her. "f-fuck." she stutters. you giggle and reach your hand forward, shoving two fingers in her mouth.

"get 'em wet for me, love." you demand. sevika's lips and tongue wrap around your fingers immedietly, soft moans and squelches starting to fill the room as sevika bobs her head on your hand like it's a cock. it's hot as fuck, and you can't help yourself from reaching down and sucking a hickey into her shoulder as she gets you ready for her. "god, you're perfect."

sevika shivers again, a little whine escaping her and tickling your fingers with the vibrations. with your free hand, you start groping her ass, teasing her hole without penetrating, getting her worked up and arching into your touch.

when she's just panting around your fingers-- sucking completely forgotten-- you decide that she's ready for you.

she takes your spit soaked fingers with ease, muffling her whimper into her folded arms. you let her get away with hiding her sounds for now-- in a few minutes you'll have her screaming, anyways.

when two fingers become three you know she's ready.

"you hear how wet your hole is for me? haven't even put my cock in you yet-- you're such a slut, baby."

"i'd be more of a slut if i had your dick in me." she mumbles.

you cackle and smack her ass again. sevika huffs a little laugh at her own joke, and you pick that moment to slide your cock in her.

she sputters, squeaks, and then groans so loud you're pretty sure the walls shake. "good?" you ask.

sevika's too busy gasping and trying to smack her hips back on yours to answer, so she shoots you a thumbs up over her shoulder. you laugh again, sink your nails into her hips, and start fucking her like she deserves.

for a while, it's just grunts and gasps and moans and kissing sounds. you re-adjust a few times, trying to find a good position and rhythm, until you're basically mounting her, buried balls deep in her and pounding her into the mattress.

you can always tell when you're fucking sevika right because her whole left leg starts to spasm, from thigh to toes. it's cute as hell-- she has no control over it-- and it makes you want to fucking ruin her. you growl when her calf starts quivering, reaching forward and grabbing a fistful of her hair and yanking her head out of her arms.

"fuck!" sevika cries. "f-fuck you fuck me so good, what the fuck?" she babbles.

she looks delicious beneath you, her strong back writhing as she squirms on the bed.

"i'm gonna knock you up." you grunt, smacking her ass. sevika whines. "you're so fuckin' good sevika, gonna fill you with my cum 'n fuck you til it takes-- give you my fuckin' kids."

"fuck, stop talkin' like that or you'll make me cum!" she whines. you snort. she's trying so hard to be good and wait for you to cum like you told her to, but she's so easy when you start talking about breeding her.

"thought you were gonna be good?" you ask, clawing at sevika's ass.

"i'm trying but you're-- fuck! there!-- fucking me too good!" she cries.

you giggle. "well, then, you better hurry up 'n make me cum before you do, baby."

sevika flails around for a few seconds, reaching out to try and reach your body from where you've mounted her, but she's basically pinned beneath you. she groans in frustration, lets out a tiny moan, and then takes a big breath.

"p-please cum in me." she whines. it's your turn to shiver. her voice is just so pathetic and sweet, and you can feel the tension in her body from the way she's trying to keep herself from cumming-- like a rubber band ready to snap. "please, please cum in me-- you're so fuckin' big, you're so deep, i know it'll work-- you'll knock me up this time, i know it-- i want your cum-- i want your kids-- baby ple--" sevika cuts herself off with a gasp as you start to cum, grinding against her ass as you squeeze the little pump you'd hooked in your harness.

"f-fuck, take it baby--" you pull out just for a moment, just to see the way your cum leaks out of her ass, just to spurt a few drops on her lower back-- and that's all it takes for sevika to fall apart.

you laugh as she cries and cums into the blankets, sinking yourself back inside her hole and giving her the rest of the cum loaded in your dick.

"it's warm." she whimpers.

you heave a breath and then burst into giggles. "microwaved it for you."

this makes sevika giggle too. "that was way more cum than any healthy human should be producing." she cackles. you giggle.

sevika's thighs are drenched in the sticky substance, and you're sure when you pull out the mess will only get worse. still though. "that was hot as fuck." you mumble.

sevika grins. "best birthday gift ever." she agrees. you snort and smack her ass one more time-- just for good measure.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @claude999 @nhaaauyen

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika #sevika smut

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damiansgoodgirll · 1 month

Note

hi, I wanted to ask you since it’s my birthday coming up could you please make a short with reader that never celebrate her birthday? And so Damian put a surprise party together for her and she gets emotional thank you so much if you do that❤️❤️❤️

damian priest x reader

taking this time to wish you happy birthday and taking this opportunity to say that today is my birthday too!🩷

‼️soft damian, mention of past family issues, i love damian with all of my heart ‼️

special gift

you weren’t expecting no parties or surprises, knowing that you never celebrated your birthday, you were used to stay at home and buy yourself a small cupcake with blowing a candle just to make a wish.

so when your boyfriend damian asked what you wanted to do for your birthday, you didn’t know what to say. he offered you cinema, shopping spree, dinner date out. whatever you wanted but you couldn’t find a proper answer “i don’t know…” you told him truthfully because you really didn’t know what to do and you definitely didn’t expect him to remember it was your birthday.

“what you mean mariposa?” he was kinda confused. he always celebrated his birthday, his siblings too. he didn’t grow up rich so he never had big parties until he made his own money but his family never missed to celebrate his birthday.

your family on other hand, never really cared, saying that birthday parties were a waste of time and money. you never got presents or cakes so when he asked you what gift you wanted you were speechless, again, for the second time.

“damian really, it’s fine…we could stay here and watch a movie, it’s fine for me” you smiled, a little sad because in all of these years you’ve never got to experience a birthday party but at the same time grateful because damian thought of you.

“are you sure?” he asked, not understanding why you didn’t want to celebrate “what about we go out just me and you? we go to that nice italian restaurant you like? we don’t have to go somewhere else, we can just have a nice dinner together and then celebrate at home…” he suggested. you lied if you said that you didn’t like the idea, you just didn’t want to be a bother for him, especially since your family made you always feel like it.

“you sure? i don’t wanna take too much time from you, especially since bash in berlin is coming up soon…” you were afraid, he could tell, he just couldn’t understand why because you never spoke to him about your personal life. he knew it was an unpleasant conversation for you so he always tried to avoid it because he knew it would make you uncomfortable.

“trust me…it’s going to be fine…plus it’s gonna be just me and you” you knew you couldn’t say no when he begged so nicely. so you agreed, of course.

a couple of hours later you were dressed in a pretty black dress, matching damian’s outfit as he was wearing all black too.

“you look so good amor…i can’t believe you’re all mine” he smiled against your lips, making you chuckle.

“you don’t look bad either señor priest” you whispered leaving soft pecks on his lips.

“we better get going or it will take two seconds for me to remove this pretty dress you are wearing and take you back upstairs” he said, his lips never leaving yours.

“i really hope you can do that after dinner cause i’m starving right now” you teased, making him chuckle.

“i’ll see what i can do mariposa” he gave you one last kiss before taking you out to the car and opening the door for you.

during the whole car drive his hand was on your thigh, making you shiver from time to time.

once at the restaurant you both took your time reading the menu and asking the waiter for more information about the dishes. it was the first time that someone did something nice for your birthday and you wanted to enjoy it. so you took your time eating, talking about the silliest things with him, laughing and chatting. when the delicious piece of cake you both ordered arrived, you saw damian taking out a little box from his pocket. it was tiffany blue box, and before you could say anything damian gave it to you “this is a little present from me…” and now you were completely speechless.

“damian…the dinner is enough, you didn’t have to get me anything…”

“i wanted to” he couldn’t explain how much he loved you “you’re the most important person in my life, i don’t know what i’ll do without you, meeting you eight months ago was the best thing that happened to me in years…i can’t explain it but you brought a light into my life that i thought it was lost” he was getting emotional, you were too.

so you kindly accepted his gift and your heart missed a beat when you saw a beautiful diamond heart shaped necklace inside of the small velvet box “damian…” you were at loss of words “it’s so beautiful”

“it reminded me of you” a tear fell from his eye but he was quick to wiped it away.

“i love it…do you mind?” you asked him, signing that you wanted to wear it immediately. he stood up and he gently placed the necklace around your neck “i love it damian…thank you so much”

“i’m glad you like it” he was genuine.

“thank you for all of this…this is the first time someone does something nice for my birthday” you confessed, you weren’t used to talk about your past and damian never pressure you to talk about it so he was grateful that you were opening up to him “my family never celebrated my birthday…or theirs, they always said that birthdays are a waste of money, so i grew up watching my friends getting spoiled on their special day and lying to them when they asked about my special day…i’ve always said that my parents were the best at making birthday parties, that they always took me out of town when in reality i spent all of my birthdays crying in bed…your necklace is the first birthday present i’ve ever received” he couldn’t believe your words. how can some parents be so mean to their kids? he never had big parties but his parents never missed one of his birthday, even now that he was older, his mom and dad would always come to his parties.

“i’m so sorry love…no kids should be ever treated like that, i know parties can be expensive…you know, my mom used to bake every birthday cake for me and my siblings since we got eighteen, and somehow she still does it, like a personal gift for us” he smiled remembering the old times. your heart ached for that. you couldn’t imagine growing up like that but you were glad someone was able to live their special day at its best “but i promise you y/n that from this day on you’ll never feel like that ever again, we’ll celebrate every single birthday from today and on, you’re safe with me” he said promising it to you.

“okay…” you smiled, thanking him for the amazing night he just spent with you.

“oh but the night it’s not over yet…if i remember i made a promise before leaving the house” he smirked, watching you blush under his gaze. he asked for the bill and left a generous tip for the waiter who assisted you.

you both ended up making out in his car “even if having you naked in the backseat sounds tempting to me, tonight is all about you love, let me take care of you…let’s go home” he whispered against your lips, leaving one last kiss over your cheek before driving back home.

you couldn’t explain how much you loved damian either, it was like you were made for each other and you were both aware of that.

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the-fandom-is-now-my-life · 4 months

Note

Could umm… you happen to do another if creator had a child and its wanderer. The only odd/strange thing about the baby is that they have ball joints like a puppet?just wondering

The creator had a

Doll like child

Wc: ~700

“Wanderer?” You ask without fully expecting an answer, whenever you spend the night stargazing both of you get lost in your thoughts.

“What?”

“What we did a few weeks ago was to spite Raiden?” your eyes look at him,m while he still lays down, the dark fibers of his hair brushing against the milky white of his skin “Hey, answer”

“You are incredible, you know” his brow furrows and softly sighs “asking such dumb questions”

“Just answer it”

“Do you truly need me to say it to your face?” he looks tired, as if the question seemed so unbelievably obvious to him. When your eyes meet he sighs again like an angsty teen “no, I didn't start intimacy with you just to bother the hag. I would never fall that low”

A soft hum leaves your lips, nodding to the comforting words you had to wrangle out of him.

“Why even the question? That was like four months ago”

“I think I might be pregnant” his surprised jolt almost made him slide off the roof.

“How is that possible even?” He presses his elbow, feeling the ball and socket joint underneath the false skin. Two pieces of wood rotating around a small sphere rather than your own arm, where the bones were secured by ligaments and muscles had to contract for every movement.

“Honestly, I wonder the same”

“Aren't you supposed to know everything?”

“Last time I checked dolls weren't able to reproduce”

“Do you think it will be human or more like… me?” the last part of his question sounded almost heartbroken. Softly you grasp his fingers in your hand, encouraging him.

“I will love them regardless”

“How weird, at birth Ara seemed pretty hypotonic, but now she seems alright” one of the bimarstan nurses checks the baby, pulling her off the ground from her arms and laying her flat on her palm. But she felt like a ragdoll if it wasn't by her breathing and her annoyed expression by the handling

“At least there doesn't seem to be anything else”

“let's just keep an eye on it” she promptly returns her to you.

‘could that be because of wanderer? He said that part of what kept him together was elemental energy, it could be that as she grows she absorbs it’

“Ara, what are you doing?” You ask playfully to the toddler who sneaked in the kitchen and made a mess with the pots and lids.

“I see someone is quite active this morning, huh?” The father of said child pops from behind you, passes by your side and plops the year old on his hip. Her gummy smile is an adorable sight, her chubby hand pointing to his hat and the other grabbing the lid she put on her head.

“Are you trying to imitate someone?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He looks at his child and back at you “we aren't even that similar” he says while holding his mini clone. At the same time they both lean their head sideways, the hats leaning towards that side.

“Isn't she so cute?” Nahida looks at your toddler daughter brushing her doll's hair, her dark hair framing her face and her big blue eyes reflecting the sunlight off them.

“She does remind me of a Hina doll” Raiden approaches a hand to pat her head but Ara slaps it away before poking out her tongue and rushes outside “did she just…”

Your hand cups your cheek, curious at what happened to your usual quiet baby “That is quite unexpected, she does tend to enjoy getting her hair played with” could hatred be inherited by genes? That was the only reason you could think of for a 3 year old to hate Raiden on sight.

“And if you see a woman wearing a kimono and a braid she is a witch that came to curse you, so make sure to kick her in the shin, understood?”

“Kitty!” the girl yells as she opens her presents

“Yes, that is a cat, Bu’er brought it to you for you birthday” as you look deeper into the black cat you can't help but feel its dark fur and purple eyes remind you of someone. Even more so when a small black kitten and a coloured cat are also in the box.

#genshin impact #gi #sagau #genshin x reader #self aware genshin impact #genshin sagau #wanderer x reader #wanderer #scaramouche #genshin scara #scara x reader #scara #sagau x reader #genshin impact sagau

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gadriezmannsgirl · 3 months

Note

Hey! So I thought of this idea for Gavi, where yall have been dating for a while but he doesn't know exactly what date your birthday is and he ends up forgetting,but the reader doesn't mind because she's had bad experience with birthdays

This req has almost over a year, I'm truly sorry for the wait😭 but life's been pretty busy right now and I haven't had the time to sit down and write something😭😭 also, not prooferead😭💀

Calendar -P.G6

Summary: Your boyfriend doesn't know your birthday and you don't mind that, either.

"Amor"

"Mhm?" You grunt eyes not leaving your book

"Can I ask you something?" You hum letting him know you were paying him attention "You won't get mad?"

"It depends" You simply answer "Probably not. What's up?"

"When's your birthday?"

Right there, you froze. You let the book on your lap and looked at your boyfriend.

You and Pablo have almost a year and half dating, he was the sweetest, most caring, responsable, respectful guy you've ever known. He knew and remembered every single detail of you and of your relationship, so it took you by surprise to hear that he didn't know your birthday.

However, you didn't felt any kind of dissapointment or anger, your birthday was just another day and after your 6 birthday, you stopped celebrating it because of a bad experience, so you were just confused.

"You don't know when my birthday is?" He slowly shook his head

"I... don't" He said, you could see the nerves on his face, he was waiting for you to get mad.

"It's ________" You reply looking at him, you smiled softly "Better now?"

He repeated your birthday date under his breath only to gasp.

"That was two weeks ago!" You nod "¡Joder! ¿Como puedo ser tan mal novio?" (How can I be such a bad boyfriend?) "Venga, let's get dressed to have some dinner. I need to buy you a gift, two in fact, one for the lateness and the other for your birthday. We also need to set tomorrow a small party with our friends and family. I need to buy a cake for you as well-"

"Nononono. What are you talking about? No need"

"What do you mean there's no need? Of course it's needed! It's your birthday, we don't turn 20 every single year, we need to celebrate it"

"Pablo, I don't celebrate my birthdays" You state grabbing his hands and trying to calm him down

"¿Cómo que no celebras tus cumpleaños?" (How's that you don't celebrate your birthdays?)

"I just don't. Ever since I turned 6"

"But why is that?"

"I had a bad experience at my birthday party" You shrug shaking your head

"Puta madre" He cursed making you smile "I didn't know that"

"That's weird. I thought you asked my mom everything of me" You joke with a smile on as he grips your thigh

"I asked you some things too" You laugh

"I almost got lost in my birthday party. It was in the park but I walked and walked far away from the party, my mom and dad were attending the invited so my aunt was the one who had to look out for me and she did until her attention drifted to a kid who had fell from the swing"

"I spent around 5 hours lost in the park, it started raining and it got dark quickly, I was crying and shaking from the cold. My parents found me and I could only grip myself to them so bad. I didn't wanted to spend the rest of my birthday there, I didn't even wanted to eat the cake nor open the presents, nothing. And that day I couldn't be separated from my mom, I glued myself to her"

"It sounds pretty stupid but I was so afraid of them not being able to find me and stuff. So I just kinda stopped celebrating my birthday because it reminds me of that not-so-good time"

"It's not stupid, amor. And I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry for?"

"I didn't know about that and also I made you remember it"

"It's ok, baby. You didn't know but now you do"

"Can I just give you a small gif and an ordinary cake then?" You smile

"I'll make a small exception for you and only this time" You kissed his lips standing up "Where are we going for dinner?"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviymarcsbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

#gadriezmannsgirl is writing!#pablo gavi #gavi #fc barcelona #fc barca #pablo gavi x reader #gadriezmannsgirl replies #gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #gavi icons #pablo gavi one shot

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thelargefrye · 11 months

Text

BABY DADDIES ... one - shot

pairing : wooyoung x f!reader x san

genre : fluff, parent au, established poly relationship

word count : 1.6k

warnings : language, y/n wears glasses, mentions of being pregnancy

suffering tag : @sanjoongie this isn't your official birthday present that might be late so please except this while i try to get it done

you couldn't imagine a life without your two daughters and their wonderful fathers who have been with you through the ups and downs of your life.

"what's wrong, mimi?" wooyoung's voice is hushed and groggy as you hear him speak to your five year-old daughter. you can hear miyeon reply to him, but you're too far into dreamland to fully understand what she is saying.

you feel the bed move as you assume wooyoung gets up in order to help miyeon with whatever issue was wrong. you can't help the shiver that rolls over your body once he's gone, and you're quick to turn over in order to snuggle closer into san.

san seems to welcome your closeness, as he is quick to wrap his arms around you and hold you close to him. your head resting against his chest as he tucks you into him, his own head resting on yours. his warmth encased you and quickly lulled you back into full dreamland.

you're not sure when wooyoung returns to bed, but you remember hearing him grumble in your ear about how you're a traitor as he wraps his arms around you. you're pretty sure he only called you a traitor because of how you latched onto san to steal his warmth.

"momma!" a high-pitched voice is how you wake up along with the bed shifting and jolting as two small bodies jump on it.

"momma, wake up!" another equally as high voice say. you hear a small chorus of laughter as you open you eyes to see both your daughters, miyeon and jimin looking at you with large smiles.

"papa made breakfast! it's time to get up!" miyeon said as they watched you sit up with a groan. running a hand through your hair as you tried your best to tame your bedhead.

"well, good morning to you both as well," you say with a groggy laugh making them laugh as well.

"appa told us to come wake you up," jimin said as you leaned over to give her and her sister a good morning kiss.

"by jumping into bed?"

"no," a deeper voice says before either girl could answer. you three turn to see san coming into the bedroom, still in his pajamas and glasses perched on his nose. "i told them to come and wake you up nicely," he adds tickling both girls as he comes to his side of the bed.

san is quick to lean over to give you a kiss before he's standing up straight and picking jimin up and swinging her around. the five year-old lets out a high pitched squeal before he's setting her down. miyeon stands on the bed waiting for san to do the same thing and he smiles at her before mimicking what he did to her sister.

"go help papa with setting the table you two," he says and both nod before racing out of the room. once they're gone, san turns to you and gives you a warm smile as he watches you pull your hair away from your face and reaching for your glasses.

"good morning, beautiful," he says once you get out of bed and presses a kiss to your forehead before he's following you out of the bedroom.

"how long have you all been up?" you ask, worried that you might have slept in for too long.

"just an hour, darling," san answers, "woo and i wanted to let you sleep in, but the girls wanted to have pancakes for breakfast."

you let out a small, excited gasp at the sound of pancakes before the smell of them finally filled your nostrils. san laughed as he watched you hurry down the hallway and into the kitchen. your boyfriend couldn't help but smile at how your excitement matched both of your daughters when pancakes are mentioned.

you come into the kitchen to see miyeon and jimin already at the table eating. miyeon doing a small dance in her seat as she eats. wooyoung runs his hand over his daughter's head, laughing before leaning down and kissing her. he places her cup of juice in front of her before doing the same thing to jimin.

"good morning, youngie," you say when he walks back into the kitchen, a smile on your face as you both share a quick kiss.

"morning, love," he says back as he goes back to paying attention to the pancakes. you wrap your arms around wooyoung's waist, cheek against his shoulder blade as you both wait for the food to get done.

"why did mimi get up last night?" you ask after the two of you stood in silence, listening to the twins talking and singing at the table. san had come in after you, sitting with the twins to make sure they didn't make too big of a mess.

"she got up to use the potty and lost her dolly underneath her bed," he says and you let out a small hum.

"you're such an amazing dad," you say and wooyoung can't help but feel his heart skip a beat at your words.

"thank you, love, i wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you," he says back, letting his hand come and rest over your own. he gives your hand a small squeeze. "both you and sannie," he adds turning to look at you with a smile. "your pancakes are ready," he says before handing you your plate of pancakes.

wooyoung laughed as he watched your eyes light up as you did a little dance before walking over to the table to join miyeon, jimin, and san. a few minutes later, wooyoung finally joined you all with his and san's plates.

after breakfast was over, wooyoung sent jimin and miyeon into the living room to play while you three cleaned up.

"here," you begin, stopping wooyoung from standing up, "i'll do the dishes," you add before taking his plate from him. however, before you could get a step in, san took the plates from you. "hey!"

"don't worry about the dishes, babe, i got them," he says before walking over to the sink. you let out a small 'ugh' sound before trailing behind him and standing next to him by the sink.

"no, let me do them," you say, turning the water on and beginning to rinse the syrup off the plates.

"y/n," san says looking at you pointedly, "you've worked hard these past few days. let me do it," he says.

"i'll wash, you dry."

"i'll wash, you dry," he says and you give him a small frown before switching places with him. wooyoung couldn't help but smile at you two continuing to lightly bicker with each other as you wash dishes.

"san, stop! the girls are sleeping," you say, swatting your boyfriend's hands away as he attempts to grab and tickle at your sides. san can't help the hearty laugh that leaves his lips before he's finally grabbing and dragging you closer to him on the couch. he presses a trail of kisses down your neck before blowing a raspberry into your skin. "ugh! san!"

"sorry, couldn't help it," he says before he's trapping you between his legs. you let out a sigh as you relax against him, his hands resting under your shirt on your stomach. his thumb softly rubbing your skin. "i haven't held you like this in a while," he says, voice just as soft as his touch. "i think the last time was when you were pregnant with the girls."

"i think you're right," you say, remembering how san held you like this when you pregnant with miyeon and jimin.

you three were still in your old shared apartment and you were six months pregnant with the girls. you and san had also just gotten into an argument earlier that day, neither one of you speaking to each other for hours. even when the clock hit six o'clock and it was time for what san and wooyoung decided to call their "bonding time" with the girls.

you didn't want to look at san, completely ignoring him despite you resting between his legs and his arms wrapped around you. you ended up not speaking until wooyoung got home an hour later to find you asleep in san's arm.

when you woke up you couldn't even tell wooyoung what you and san got into an argument over.

"you were pretty short-tempered when pregnant," san joked, bring you out of your thoughts.

"yeah..." you say softly, feeling a little guilty for how you would lash out at both of them over the littlest things. you would often feel embarrassed about it afterwards and you were thankful that both your boyfriends were understanding of what you were going through. "i'm sorry about that," you say, fiddling with his fingers.

"hey, don't apologize. i honestly deserved all those times you yelled at me," he said, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "wooyoung definitely did," he added making you laugh as well.

"hey now, don't talk about me while i'm not here to defend myself," wooyoung says as he enters the room. he gives both you and san a kiss before he settling next to you both on the couch. you immediately rest your feet in his lap, smiling when he shoots you a playful glare.

you laugh at his expression before you're opening your arms out for him, and wooyoung immediately moves to squish you between him and san. wooyoung rests his head against your chest, arms going and wrapping around both you and san. the three of you lay in together in a comfortable silence, both their breathing and heartbeats lulling you to sleep.

the last thing you thought before falling asleep was how thankful you were to meet and fall in love with both wooyoung and san. knowing that you would never change this for anything in the world.

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0xstarzx0 · 7 months

Text

DARK RED

Rafe Cameron S2x Reader

{OPEN COMMAND}

[English is not my native language❗️❗️]

synopsis: Rafe can’t lose the one person who still cares about him. If he can’t have her, no one can.

tw: smut, fingering, sex, unprotected sex, insult, penetration, vaginal sex, kidnapping, mention of murder.

______________________________________________

You walk into the huge house Cameron, to go into the bedroom your boyfriend, Rafe. It’s last time he was more than absent, forgetting your birthday. And yes it was more than two years that you dated the blond. You always believed it and put up with it.

You even stopped talking to your best friends because of it. They kept criticizing you about your choices and when John B killed Peterkin, they started accusing Rafe.

Turns out Peterkin’s killer was Rafe’s father, Ward.

His father committed suicide on his boat, Rafe is mad at the dough because of it, it rubbed off on your relationship.

Rafe was busy all the time and when you see each other, you argue. He insulted you with all the names then left you alone.

He’d end up coming back and covering you with the prettiest presents ever. You did not like it you wanted an apology and that he told you that he loved you, the word "I love you" coming out of his lips you missed. You’re in love with him but does he still love you?

You go into his room and he’s not in it, but the door is wide open. You were gonna go out when he came into the room with just a towel on his waist.

He turns his head to you and puts his things on the bed, he approaches you with nothing, you thought he would kiss you when he continues his way to the door. you raise an eyebrow and he locks the door.

He walks in your direction, you intend to tell him what you feel, when he aggressively sticks his lips on yours.

you respond to his kiss by putting your arms around his neck, he grabs thighs and forces you to wrap your legs around his waist.

his towel falls to the ground, you feel it harden under you which makes you wet. You are aggressive in each of your movements hungry by both.

He takes you to his bed and throws you on, you take off your teeshirt, and he looks at you with envy.

he throws himself on your lips and you moan when his tongue decides to possess your mouth by passing it in the latter.

He stops kissing your jaw and then lingers on your neck, you’ll probably get hickeys from him. He loosens your bra leaving your boobs

fresh from the room.

He starts kissing your left boob’s while he massages your right. He bites your nipple lightly and your head falls backwards, you moan like it’s the first time he’s done this.

He keeps kissing you everywhere, he starts playing with the elastic of your pants, he takes off your legs to take off your stockings.

he comes back on you and one of his hands ventures dangerously into your panties, he begins to massage your clitoris while his head is in your neck, you moan by tightening your thighs around his hand.

He puts two fingers inside you and smiles when you start taking your breath.

He sticks them in as far as he can, and your nails stick into the skin of his arm.

A little bit of your path won’t hurt.

You feel your climax coming back on his fingers, he takes his hand off your panties and puts the fingers he used in his mouth.

You look at him and he kisses you tenderly.

"I did it Y/N, it’s over " he says putting his hand on your cheek. You grab him and frown, "what are you talking about, Rafe?"

Rafe does not answer you and gets back between your legs, he starts to jerk his dick between his hands before rubbing it against your folds. without even warning, it sinks into you. You moan with surprise and it begins to push in you, its pushes are long and deep. He tries to adapt you to his pushes that go faster and faster and his even deeper than before.

you moan kissing his torso. He grabs your legs and puts them on his shoulders, are to be deep inside you. The bed slams against the wall and you scream with pleasure, Rafe was never gentle when you had sex you always ended up with muscle pain, bruises, or tears. You’d rather end up in tears because of his over-stimulation than with marks that make you think he’s beating you.

you grab his shoulders to be comfortable installed, Rafe accelerates his pushes by feeling your walls tighten around him, you were tighter than usual and he loves it. you reach your climax a second time and cum on his dick. He still pushes inside you before you feel sons of cum spill into you.

He takes off from you and throws himself to the side, you tremble with pleasure when he catches you to put you in his arms. I love you Y/N, if I am here today it is thanks to you, Nothing can separate us, I have the cross and.. and-" you raise your head to look at him he looks like he’s looking for his words, like he doesn’t know what to say.

"You’ll never have to worry about anything again because, I’ll be with you forever, you belong to me Y/N" he kisses you and you smile against his lips.

"I love you too Rafe and I’m not ready to leave" you kisses him and you stay glued next to each other for a good ten minutes, it is him who leaves first, he tells you to take your shower while he goes to settle business downstairs with Rose.

you blush with embarrassment hoping that she or Wheezie is nothing expected from your lovemaking. And you’re sure to be red like a tomato when you see the marks the bed made on the wall.

You get up with difficulty and Rafe laughs when he sees that you can not walk properly and decides to carry you to his shower and place you under. Then he goes back to his room quietly.

You wash, rinse, get out of the shower, get dressed and get out of the bathroom.

You come out of it and come across a glass of water and a post-it that was not there before you took your shower.

You look at the post-it and smile more beautiful looking at Rafe’s little note: «drink the whole glass of water, it is fresh it will relax you , I love you, Rafe.» " I love you, Rafe." Your heart throbs in your chest, you’re so happy for so little.

You sit on his bed, drink the glass of water in a sip, you look at your phone when your head starts to turn, your starts to go faster, you let go your phone before collapsing on the bed.

and black hole, you felt being carried by arms, a strong smell of vanilla filling your nose and nothing.

______________________________________________

you hardly open your eyes, your eyelids are heavy and you can barely keep them open.

You need several minutes to try to reopen them.

When you finally succeed, your vision is blurry. The noises that are in the room are only slow noises as if everything was passing in slow motion, Your body no longer responds, you are like paralyzed at the box spring on which you are.

Your heart accelerates when you finally get your sight back, Ward, Ward Cameron, Rafe’s father is here, alive. You try to talk but no sound comes out of your mouth.

You would like to scream with all your strength not understanding what is happening. When little by little, you finally find each of your senses.

You rise in fury, uttering a heavy grunt. Your legs are too weak to support your weight, you are forced to lean against the wall next to you.

Ward and Sarah look at you, Sarah is confused and Ward offers you a fake warm smile.

He gets up and starts to approach you when, you point him with the finger "I swear to God that if you take one more step towards me, I will cut your hands and pierce your eyes. Ward stops and a silence settles, he goes back to sit next to Sarah.

What are you doing here?

Rafe enters the room and ignores you, you remain shocked by his behavior but does not say. You desperately get out of the room but your legs are too fragile to walk properly without wavering, you end up falling.

Rafe sighs at you, he tries to catch but you growl by giving him little bangs- which were supposed to be bangs-.

Sarah frowns and looks at you. "Did you drug her?" asks Sarah. Rafe grabs you on his shoulder, he carries you and puts you back where you were. It’s none of your business, Sarah," said Rafe, putting a blanket over you.

"Of course if Rafe is my business Y/N is someone important to me!" She said, leaving you a desolate look, you look down and feel the tears coming up.

Ward interrupts their bickering by talking to Sarah again. Rafe goes to sit on a chair at the other end of the room, leaving you alone.

You don’t pay attention to what they say too focused on yourself, trying to remember what happened the night before.

Headaches cause you such pain you can’t do anything, your cheeks are flooded with tears while you cry in silence. You don’t understand what you’re doing here even less, with Ward assuming he was dead.

"That’s psychotic, both of us" said Sarah.

"I promised Rafe he wouldn’t go to the prison for helping me, I had to make good on that promise"

Your blood instantly froze. The pogues didn’t lie. Your brain gradually resembles the pieces of the puzzle. An immense uncertainty settles in you.

You love Rafe and despite what he did you know you’ll forgive him, but you can’t help but feel bad.

You have two choices: first choice, you decide to live with the fact that your boyfriend killed someone. Second Choice, despite your love for Rafe, you decide to betray him.

The tone rises in the room, and Ward stops it. You burst into tears. You fight with yourself.

"We’re gonna live a new life, all of us together." Said Ward.

"What the hell am I doing here?" you’re asking on the verge of a nerve attack.

Ward ignores you and goes, "Sarah, where I’m taking you is paradise." He goes on to say that he brings us to an island on the edge of Guadeloupe.

You blow up, none of them give you an answer. "What the hell am I doing here! You know it’s a kidnapping, what are you going to do with me..me… kill me, torture me or-" Your brain doesn’t track how fast words come out of your mouth.

Rafe throws you a bad look and you continue: "You drugged me and now you take me to the end of the continent? You know my family will try to find me." You say confident until Ward snickers and Rafe follows him.

"Your family, the one where your father is little too intimate with his children, and the mother who pretends not to see the alarming signs of aggression from the father? Believe me, you’re wrong if we’re talking about the same family."

You hardly swallow Rafe’s words, Sarah looks at you shocked now understanding why you never go home.

[. A YEAR AGO]

-You get to the Château around 10 o'clock, walk into the house of the money and they’re all there, you look like shit. Between your clothes put anything, your hair in a mess and the marks at the corner of your eyes. Nothing goes.

"Hi Y/N what are you doing here?" Kiara asks. You sit with them next to Sarah, the cologne man for men violently crosses her nostrils.

"I come to spend the evening with my favorite humans that she question?" You say falsely cheerful. " Oh well I thought you. had forgotten about Rafe?" said JJ sarcastically. You give him a flick. " The only person I’ve forgotten here is you," you say, JJ looks shocked and makes dumb remarks about you.-

There was another time when you unexpectedly arrived at the Castle late at night. Waking everyone up. The money wouldn’t have been shocked if you had arrived alone, but instead, there was your 10-year-old brother Tiago and your 12-year-old sister Tara. You apologized for coming out of the blue by lying to your friends about your parents arguing.

They spent the whole night playing with the dough when you had nothing but black thoughts a plan was established in your head: Steal JJ’s gun, go home when you’re sure that fat pig is sleeping, Shoot him and her a bullet between the eyes and go surrender. He had to pay for what they did to your brothers and sisters.

after that night when something like that happened, you go to Rafe’s, he always accepted you, alone or with your brothers and sisters.

Rafe almost beat your father to death when he came to visit you unexpectedly and saw him try to rape you, third time in the month.

[.]

"Fuck you, Rafe." Then you say your voice breaks. "Did you think about my brothers and sisters?" Rafe searches his pocket for a few and he pulls out your phone.

He gets up and gives you the phone, of course there are no more chips and the location is disabled. Rafe wrote a message to one of the police officers. -of course, he pretends to be you- He explains what you have been living since childhood and what your brothers and sisters also live, you explain in the end what you want for your family and ends the message by saying that you run away, You’re 17 so it won’t be taken as a real disappearance.

"You didn’t have the courage to do it so I did it," he said looking at you sadly. He stoops down to your level to hug you and instead of rejecting him you squeeze him as hard as I can crush your chest against his chest

You explode in tears, hoping that from now on your family will move on without you, because you made a choice: stay with Rafe.

You try to calm down in Rafe’s arms when Ward calls Rose and Wheezie.

Rafe grabs your chin and wipes your tears. The fact that he wiped them was an indication, You must no longer cry.

Rafe returns to his place, Wheezie and Rose enter the room, You hide your face and Wheezie settles next to Sarah.

______________________________________________

You play with your hands when you hear noises coming from beside you, turn your head and see John B with Pope.

when they notice your presence, they freeze. Out of fear that you will warn someone but instead you turn your head and say nothing. What Rafe gave you made sure that even if your brain does something, your body won’t follow him.

They look at each other confused and Pope approaches you while John B tries to hold him back, rejecting him prostrating that you are their friends.

He positions himself above you and taps your shoulder quietly, You do not react then he calls your name again and again. Without reaction.

Pope grabs your face and examines it, your eyes are bloodshot, he struggles to stay open, your complexion is pale and your mouth is slightly open.

It doesn’t take long for Pope to understand that you’re not sober, he’s starting to grab your legs but you’re giving him a negative sign. The two pogues do not understand and in a barely audible voice you throw them a sincere "sorry".

Then you look again at a point elsewhere making them understand that you do not intend to leave.

John B nods and Pope looks at you disappointed and lost by your behavior.

You feel the tears pouring down your cheeks when they leave, you burst into tears. Feeling too dumb to love a killer and too in love to want to leave him.

You end up falling asleep with no strength

______________________________________________

[PT2]

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