#But then my sister told me my mother was pissed because of something else (that was imho ridiculously small)

[kjell-e]

the problem of being the child of a person who was abused but also abusive is that you learned to nod along when they say shit like „oh well, I did suffer, but I could not do it differently, it was so hard but I did my best“ while inside everything screams LIKE HELL YOU DID but when you try to bring this up in a diplomatic way you parent suddenly behaves like a fucking kid, throws a tantrum and tries to gaslight you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[thebetawolfgirl]

We’re Just Friends

Pairing: Timmy x Reader

Warnings: Umm… Friends to lovers? Smut!

A/N: New Fic!

We’re Just Friends

Timothée and y/n had been friends since they were 10 years old. They knew nothing else but each other, they could spot each other from opposite ends of the school yard.

She could find him in a room full of people.

The point is they were close. Closer than siblings, except when they argued it wasn’t like siblings would argue, and it never lasted very long.

Y/n and her friends were getting ready for a party at her apartment, she was trying on dresses in her walk in wardrobe while one of her friends, Daisy was telling her about this guy she had met at one of her mom’s dinner parties.

‘He has a younger brother y/n, I could set you up?’

‘Y/n doesn’t go for the business type, they bore her to death.’

She heard Timmy step into her bedroom and smiled knowing her friends would be rolling their eyes.

‘Timmy, come and help me with this dress please? The zip is stuck again!’

Timmy sighed and opened the doors to the walk in and saw the dress she was wearing, the one with zip on the front ‘Why are you wearing this dress? You know the zip always catches?’

‘Because it’s a nice dress and it’s sparkly.’ She smiles at him as he slides down the zip slowly trying not to catch it again.

She stripped herself of the dress and hung it up before walking over to get something else.

She was walking around in her underwear in front of Timmy and though they were used to their odd behaviour this was new.

Y/n never stripped in front of anyone let alone walking around in her underwear. She didn’t even get undressed in front of her own mother, but here she was walking around half naked in front of her only guy friend.

‘Okay I need to go. As much as I would love to stay for your fashion show I have to get ready.’

Y/n frowned ‘Where you going?’

‘I’m going to be at that party tonight. My sister was invited so I’m going with her.’

Y/n smiled widely and jumped into his arms hugging him tightly, ‘YOURE GOING TOO????’

He chuckled wrapping his arms around her waist tightly and nodded. ‘Yes I’m going too. So I will see you there.’

She let him go, smiling and kissed his cheek before he buried his face in her neck swaying with her before letting her go ‘Get dressed before you catch a chill.’

She turned and squealed as he slapped her ass and turned round to smack his chest scolding him ‘Timmy. Go!’

He smirked as she clicked her tongue and walked out the door while her friends were whispering to each other glancing at them.

‘Y/n why haven’t you and Timmy gotten together?’

‘We’re just friends, and he’s with Stephanie now.’

‘Timmy doesn’t act like that with Stephanie.’ Daisy said raising her eyebrow.

‘In fact I don’t think he’s even touched her in that way.’

Y/n’s head snapped up looking over at her friend ‘What do you mean by that?’

‘I mean Stephanie has been complaining that Timmy still hasn’t slept with her. They’ve been going out for weeks!’

‘That’s impossible.’ Y/n shook her head and went into the bathroom to begin her makeup.

Later after her friends left to get ready themselves y/n heard the door open and close and footsteps come toward her room

‘Timmy?’ She called from the bathroom ‘Is that you?’

‘Yeah, sorry. I know I said we’d meet at the party but can I just arrive with you?’ He came into the bathroom and leaned against the door watching her as she nodded in confirmation.

‘Of course. What’s wrong?’ She asked buttoning her dress jeans and walking over to him.

‘Stephanie found out I’m going to the party after I told her I wasn’t going. Now she wants to go with me, but I already said I was escorting my sister. But Pauline is going with someone else so she doesn’t need me to escort her.’

‘Now Stephanie is pissed because you won’t take her.’ Timmy nodded resting his hands on her hips and pulling her closer. She wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back as he lay his head against her neck as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

‘Why haven’t you slept with Stephanie yet?’ Y/n asked against his shoulder.

‘It doesn’t seem like the right time.’

He mumbled back, his voice muffled against her skin. ‘You smell good.’

She smiled playing with the curls at his neck.

‘Thank you, it’s cinnamon scented lotion.’

He moved his head, sliding his hand to hold the back of her neck and bit down sucking hard.

‘Ow! Not edible lotion you freak!’ She shoved him playfully, letting him hit the wall as she looked at her neck in the mirror and glared back at his smirking face ‘Im telling everyone you’re a vampire and you tried to eat me!’

He continued to smirk as she grabbed her jacket and bag walking out with him. ‘Come on.’

He followed obediently and walked down to the cab she had ordered in advance and told him to get in with her ignoring his insistence he could walk ‘Timmy get in, you’re not walking anywhere, it’s New York and it’s freezing.’

‘Fine!’ He slid in beside her and they made their way to the party together.

Halfway there she grabbed his phone and got some pics together in the cab and even got a cheeky one of her grabbing his face and kissing his cheek.

He posted one to his social media captioning it “Party time with bestie” and tagged her.

When they reached their destination they paid the driver and quickly got inside when it began to rain. Neither of them considered Stephanie would be attending so Timmy stayed by y/n’s side during the party.

Some of the older guests assumed they were a couple but they always denied it saying they were just friends and they grew up together.

Stephanie arrived an hour after them and sought out Timmy and found him getting cosy with y/n with his arm around her waist nuzzling her neck.

Y/n saw her entering the party and nudged Timmy pointing to his girlfriend and y/n heard him sigh against her neck and she patted his back ‘Go. Now.’ He left with a peck on her neck and she sighed as he approached Stephanie and watched the way he held her and kissed her in greeting.

Her friends were right, Timmy was completely different with Stephanie than he was with her. It was as if he was touching something nasty, y/n knew from just watching them he didn’t like touching her. Wether they were like this in private, she didn’t know. But this interaction was painful to watch.

She watched as they left the room to go out into the garden so y/n decided to subtly follow them when she was stopped by Daisy and some guy.

‘Y/n this is Tanner, Andy’s younger brother who I was telling you about.’

‘Oh hello, it’s not a good time right now. We’ll catch up later Daisy.’

She walked off sighing. She knew she had just been rude but she had to check on Timmy.

Y/n walked out into the garden and heard someone arguing as if they were trying to keep their voices down.

‘I just don’t get it, Timothée. We’ve been together for weeks and we still haven’t even had sex yet.’

‘I’m just not ready yet Stephanie. I’ve told you that!’ She heard him sigh, and took a peak around the corner and saw him sitting on a stone bench while Stephanie stood over him her arms folded across her chest looking upset.

‘But you won’t even touch me. Whenever I try an kiss you you turn your head away and right now when I tried to sit on your lap you pushed me off.’

‘Because you’re obsessed with sex! I’ve never met anyone so obsessed with fucking the way you are!’

‘I’m not obsessed with sex, I just want to have sex with you.’ She shouted.

Y/n had heard enough she came out of the shadow of her hiding place saying Timothée’s name ‘Timmy. Pauline is looking for you. Hello Stephanie, you look lovely as always.’ Y/n smiled nodding her head slightly in acknowledgment. Stephanie was glaring at y/n until she complimented her and she returned her smile in thank you.

Timmy stood up and followed y/n inside leaving Stephanie standing alone with her thoughts.

‘Thank you for rescuing me.’ Timmy whispered walking with y/n indoors.

‘You’re welcome, I saw you walking out with her and knew she would start something with you.’ He nodded grabbing a glass of champagne from a tray being passed around and took a sip before pulling y/n to his side by her waist and kissed her exposed shoulder, lightly nipping the skin making her turn her head towards him and wrapped her arm over his shoulder, when she saw the guy Daisy brought over make his way through the crowd towards them and sighed ‘Daisy isn’t gonna let this go until I give this guy a moment of my time.’

Timmy looked over and smirked ‘Very business type.’ He sniggered but y/n whispered his ear. ‘If you don’t come and get me in 15 minutes no more cuddles.’ He choked on his last chuckle and went pale at the very serious threat and nodded as the guy approached with a million dollar smile and y/n had to stop herself from gagging in disgust.

‘Hi, I’m-‘

‘Tanner, yes I remember. Nice to meet you.’ She held out her hand which he took and kissed her knuckles.

Oh so he was this type of guy, goodie. She could feel Timmy coming closer to her in a protective manner and smirked.

‘Would you care to dance?’

‘Sure, why not.’

He guided her to the dance floor as Timmy looked on burning a hole into the guy’s skull and walked over to Daisy pointing to his best friend’s dance partner ‘Who the fuck invited James Bond?’

‘I did, i wanted y/n to meet him.’

‘Why? He’s not her type.’

‘I thought he was handsome and cultured.’

‘He’s a shmuck and slobbering all over someone’s hand doesn’t make you cultured. It makes you look like a baby with no teeth.’

Daisy glared and stalked off while Timmy looked on counting down to 15 minutes when he could drag her away from this moron.

He didn’t know why he was acting so jealous, but he knew this guy was not y/n’s type. She liked the goofy type of guy who she could boss around but who could equally take charge when called for.

And he knew this because she ordered him around like a puppy. This guy was the type of guy that would order her food for her at a restaurant, who would feel threatened by her independence and her strength.

He looked at his watch and saw it had been 15minutes and walked over to where they were standing at the bar and was close enough to hear their conversation and knew it was not going well, for him. The guy was trying to order for her at the bar, and she was telling the bartender that she didn’t want that. He was also insisting that he would like to buy drink for her but y/n had already handed the guy her money paying for her own drink.

‘I pay my own way, I don’t need anyone’s charity.’

Timmy smiled approaching hearing the guy huffing exasperated ‘It’s not charity, it’s called being gentlemanly. A lady should never pay for her own drink at a party. Especially if a gentleman is offering to pay.’

She turned seeing Timmy approaching and tilted her head asking him ‘Timmy am I a lady?’ Timmy scoffed shaking his head ‘No. Absolutely not.’

‘And do I always pay my own way?’

‘You paid the cab ride over here.’

‘Exactly. So let this chivalrous crap go. I’m not into it. It’s more Daisy’s thing than mine.’

The guy shook his head disapprovingly and left as Timmy and y/n smiled at each other.

‘So do i still get my cuddles?’

He asked taking a sip of the very unlady like beer she had ordered for herself.

‘Yes of course you do.’ She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he hugged her back holding her tight against him before sitting on the bar stool pulling her back against him by her waist and watched the party going on around them. The music was louder now as the older guests had retired earlier and only the guests their age remained.

He wrapped his arm tighter around her waist and played with the waistband of her jeans, touching her skin there. She lay her hand over his and entwined their fingers together as he leaned forward and nipped her shoulder. She leaned into him and nudged his nose with hers and kissed his cheek.

‘Is there somewhere we can go?’

He whispered against her neck and she took his hand getting up and dragged him out of the door and up a set of stairs looking for a room.

Every time she stopped to open a door he would grab her hips and nip and kiss her neck until they found a bedroom and she dragged him in behind her as he ran his hands up and grabbed fistfuls of her breasts through her waistcoat, she kicked the door shut and he slammed her against it and began sucking on her neck while turning the key in the lock behind her as she tugged on his hair trying to get him closer to her as possible. She pushed her knee between his legs and pressed against his groin causing him to bite down on her neck hard.

He grabbed her waist picking her up and tosses her on the four poster king size bed crawling on top of her when she pulled his shirt over his head as he tore the buttons off her waistcoat and wrapped his hand around her throat squeezing gently making her gasp.

She grabbed him by his head and slammed her mouth against his in a hungry kiss. He kissed back with equal hunger sliding his hands down her body before sliding her jeans down her legs, breaking the kiss he removed his own jeans before climbing back over to her, he made quick work of their underwear and he slid into her slowly, taking his time as y/n reached up and placed small kisses along his shoulders before he began thrusting into her at a steady pace as she held onto his shoulders.

Y/n gripped onto his shoulders digging her nails into his skin as he began to slam into her harder making her gasp and drag her nails halfway down his arms.

He groaned and collapsed on top of her pinning her beneath him and rammed into her wrapping her legs higher around his waist causing her to moan and jerk higher up the mattress and the bed frame to rock.

She flipped them onto his back and began to ride him and felt his hands run up her torso and grab her breasts roughly. She slammed her hips down on his making him grunt and rut his hips upwards to meet hers causing him to go deeper inside her.

He rolled them to the other side of the bed pinning her down on the mattress and slammed into her as her head hung over the side of the bed and carved his hips into hers going deep again making her groan.

He pulled her up by her neck and kissing her roughly as they came together in a sweaty panting mess as they fell back landing at the bottom of the bed tangled in the sheets.

He kissed and nipped along her collarbone and throat before burying his face against her neck clinging to her and breathing shakily.

Y/n caught her breath and ran her fingers through his hair wiping his damp curls from his face.

She listened and realised the music had stopped downstairs and everyone had left.

‘It’s gone quiet downstairs. I think everyone is gone.’

She felt him move against her neck and wrap his arm tighter around her waist cuddling into her.

‘I’m not moving. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.’

She nodded and lifted his head placing an open kiss against his lips and turned onto her stomach letting Timmy kiss her back and shoulder before laying his head on her mid back closing his eyes as they drifted off to sleep!

@sufferingstarlight

@gatoenlaciudad

@kteezy997

@lixzey

@tchalamss

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

The Gang's All Here

Biker!John Price X Wife!Reader

 It was adorable, you were the mom of the group when it came to everything, especially when they were on leave. You’d invite everyone over and feed them until they were all too full.

a/n:this fic was inspired by this GORGEOUS artwork by @yakowo and I could not get the idea out of my head, also for anyone who voted in favor for the tattoos? you're welcome (P.S. I'm so sorry for making you guys wait MONTHS for this!)

(These are the tattoos I picture John having!)

John wasn’t the type of person that you’d expect to come onto base riding a motorcycle, a Harley Davidson no less. So, when Soap and Gaz were outside cracking jokes together their jaws dropped as John parked the roaring beast. When the hell had he managed to find the time to ride? It felt like they’d been gone for the last year nonstop. Gaz had heard all about how much you missed John. It was adorable, you were the mom of the group when it came to everything, especially when they were on leave. You’d invite everyone over and feed them until they were all too full.

“Laswell approved the time off, we’re gonna get to spend Halloween with the missus this year.” Gaz was probably more excited than anyone.

It may have been due to the fact you were all planning on matching, Gaz had picked Simon’s name from the hat, while you and Johnny were going to be matching. John downright refused, saying he couldn’t trust the boys to pick his costume. He’d made you swear to secrecy, no one was allowed to know his costume until Halloween. You weren’t complaining though, not after he’d promised to let you help ‘grease him up’.

“Better not get too rowdy this year, lord knows Johnny nearly got arrested last time.” Of course that had been because someone had tried to roughly grab you when John was off getting you drinks.

The boys had always been quite protective of you, doing whatever they could to make sure you were safe and keep all the creeps away. You’d been married to their captain the entire time they’d all known one another, so you were the co-captain in their eyes. Johnny was definitely the most protective, he saw you as a little sister(even though you were older than him). Simon would simply glare at anyone who looked at you wrong, scaring them off before they could utter a single word. Gaz would throw down with anyone who dared utter a single bad thing about you, how dare you disrespect his co-captain!

“He said he’d be on his best behavior, something about not wanting to anger the missus this time.” You’d turned into a scolding mother when Johnny began to act out, it was hilarious to watch.

John had thrown you over his shoulder even while you were kicking and screaming to be put down so you could continue your scolding. Johnny learned that night not to piss you off lest he deal with your wrath for the rest of the night. It was a comical thing, knowing you could insight fear into a man who sees death for a living.

“Better not, she told me they’re doing matching costumes and I can’t risk her needin’ to get a costume last minute.” That wasn’t to say you wouldn’t be able to find something from your closet, but you’d planned this months prior.

“Simon and I are too, you’re gonna be the odd man out captain.” Gaz smirked over at the other man, noticing the way his brow raised slightly.

“You and Ghost are wearing matching costumes? How’d you convince him?” Simon wasn’t afraid to let loose and enjoy himself, but wearing a costume to match with Kyle? That was shocking.

“Said he wanted to wear something to help get some attention, can’t say much else.” Gaz was going to keep his lips sealed until halloween had arrived, it was going to be the surprise of the century.

John knew better than to try and pry, this was out of his hands and as long as you were happy, he was happy. His mind began to wander for a few seconds, what would the holidays be like when you had your own little tots running around. You’d probably dress them up into cute halloween costumes and take them trick or treating. It didn’t sound like such a horrible thing at the moment, seeing you take the little ones up to the doors to get candy you’d sneak for yourself. No, no thinking about things like that when you’re at work and have important things to do, like a mountain of paperwork.

“Keep an eye on things and make sure the new recruits aren’t acting like idiots, please.” John waited for Gaz to acknowledge his words before heading down to his office.

The picture from your wedding day was the only one he’d been willing to take to base with him, not wanting to risk the wrong person knowing about you. His wedding ring sat alongside his dog tags, resting against his chest every day. It was a reminder that no matter how stressful things could be, he would always go home to you at the end of the day. They weren’t due for another assignment until the end of November, mainly because Laswell needed more intel first. Maybe that was the only reason they were allowed the few weeks of leave that was granted. Oh well.

It was nearing seven at night by the time John realized he hadn’t so much as left his desk to get a drink or even a bite to eat. Shit, you were going to absolutely ream his ass when he got home and you found out. This wasn’t the first time, and absolutely wasn’t going to be the last that he’d completely forgotten about himself. Simon had given him hell from time to time, telling him he needed to eat before you showed up at the base yourself. It had only happened once, though that was more due to the fact he needed the paperwork he’d forgotten and not because he hadn’t left his desk for..ten hours.

Standing up and stretching his tired limbs he groaned at the exertion and cracking from his idle bones. Shit, he had definitely been sitting for too long if standing for a few seconds sent shivers down his spine almost instantly. Time to get something to eat and head home for the next few weeks. He’d barely made it out of his office before Johnny was running over with what could only be described as childlike glee.

“Captain! Was hopin’ I could catch you.” The plus side of working alongside Johnny was that he could get shit done when necessary, the downside is when he was excited the man could talk forever.

“Just grabbing a quick bite and heading out, have you got your leave papers yet?” John didn’t have much time to talk, not if he wanted to make it home before you were in bed already.

“Just this mornin’, I wanted to ask about the bike.” Johnny was nervous, given that the last time he’d seen one was nothing more than a quick glance on their last mission.

“What about it?” John turned into the cafeteria, grabbing a plastic wrapped sandwich that was most likely made that morning.

Johnny wrung his hands together nervously, if questioned he would vehemently deny that his palms had become sweaty when asking his higher-up about something as simple as a motorcycle. Maybe he could just ask you about it instead, surely John had told you some things here and there and you’d managed to pick up any information.

“I uhh, I was wondering where you got it, she’s a beaut.” There, he’d ripped off the bandaid and didn’t need to make this any harder than it needed to be.

“Found her through a seller, she was in pretty rough shape so I’ve been fixin’ her up on leaves.” The bike was John’s pride and joy, second of course to you, but he loved his harley in a different way.

“Oh! Okay, that’s cool.” Johnny nodded, keeping a slight distance between himself and his captain.

“Any reason you’re asking?” John grabbed a bottle of water before turning to sit down at one of the open tables.

Johnny felt his nerves skyrocket, how does one admit they’d always wanted to ride but were too afraid of nearly getting themselves killed? His mother had given him hell for it, saying he’d lose his life by being reckless. It had deterred the idea for years, but seeing so many bikes made him want to do it anyway. 

“No reason, see you later cap.” Johnny nodded once before heading out of the room.

John wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t confused, it wasn’t often that people even saw him on the rumbling biped vehicle, but given the opportunity he always took it. Nothing more invigorating than feeling the wind whip around you, the sound of the bike echoing behind. You would beg John to take you for a ride constantly, especially on date night.

The recruits were quiet as they sat amongst themselves, discussing what their next drills would possibly be. It suddenly hit John how old he was, he’d been so used to making sure that everyone else was taken care of that he hadn’t taken the time to really look at life. You’d both discussed having children when the both of you were truly ready. If it came down that neither of you would truly be ready for a child, then neither of you would become parents. He’d just be the fun uncle that could send the kiddos home hyped up on sugar.

After he’d finished his sandwich and water it was time to head out. Any paperwork was sent off for review, and if it wasn’t up to Laswell’s standards she could wait until he was back. Getting home and relaxing for the rest of the night was high on his priority list at the moment. Maybe the two of you could order take out instead of cooking, maybe even a glass of wine to go along with it. You’d be dealing with everyone in a few days anyway, god where had the year gone that it was already Halloween again.

The sun was nearly gone by the time John had made it out of his office, grabbing the keys to his bike and heading towards the garage. Ghost’ voice was booming, words sharp as a whip towards whomever he was angry with. John sighed deeply before turning towards the shooting range, if it was a new recruit this could get ugly fast. And much to his annoyance it was not one, but four new recruits, each of them looked terrified as Simon nearly towered over them.

“Do you think this is a joke? Something to laugh about?!” Ghost was enraged, hands clenched into fists by his side.

“No sir.” They spoke in unison, each with their heads down, gazes locked on the floor.

“The next time you come in here thinkin’ you’re gonna play with the weapons, I will have you removed, permanently.” Ghost took gun safety quite seriously, one wrong move could end the lives of multiple people.

“Yes sir.” They all nodded, waiting for further instructions.

“Get out of my sight.” Ghost crossed his arms over his chest, waiting until they all scrambled away before turning to face John.

There were no words shared between the two men, neither of them needed to say anything to get their points across anyway. However, John wanted to make sure that Simon would be alright before leaving for the night.

“Still coming over for Halloween?” John was still curious on what Gaz had picked for the costumes, couldn’t be too bad.

“I promised your missus I would anyway.” No one on the task force could tell you no, it was adorable.

“I’ll see you then, make sure the recruits stay out of trouble.” John nodded at him, heading down to the garage so he could get home to you.

The night air was cold, bike rumbling beneath him as he wound his way along the roads that lead to your shared home. He’d sent a quick text to you before he left, telling you to order dinner so the two of you could relax together. Good food, a glass of wine, and the most amazing wife that he could ever ask for sounded like a perfect night to him. Now if he could ignore the clawing thoughts that came with work that would be even better. Laswell knew better than to call him unless it was an absolute emergency that he needed to attend to.

The light was on outside as he pulled into the driveway, parking the bike and waiting until it was settled to step off. The sound of music echoed through the partially opened window, the sound of your voice following along with the lyrics. John snickered to himself, it was definitely a song from your younger years, it was definitely a 90’s boyband. If you were letting loose, what would he walk into? Shaking off his shoulders he headed into the house, locking the door behind him before slipping off his boots.

“Baby!” You ran over, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight embrace.

“Hello to you too, having a party without me?” John’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush to his body.

“Never, can’t have a party without the man of the hour.” You pressed a light kiss to his lips, giggling as he tried to pull you back for more.

The two of you laughed happily, dancing together until the doorbell rang loudly, letting you know your dinner had arrived. You had mentioned a movie you’d wanted to see earlier that week, talking about how scary it was from your friends. John could handle some little movie no problem at all, everything about it was fake anyway.

“Alright, got our food, drinks, time to turn on the movie.” You wiggled into your seat, pressing play on the remote before digging in to your food.

The movie, for lack of a better word, was absolutely terrible. It was sort of a tradition in your home that during October you would watch corny horror movies whenever John was home. It was something you’d been adamant on, refusing to let the tradition die out. Of course you’d watch the classic horror movies to help break up the monotony of the bad ones. John had insisted you watch The Thing recently, until you remembered the kennel scene. Watching poor animals, even fake ones, get hurt always makes you upset.

“What do we watch next? We’ve got a few days before the party, and you don’t need to go back until after.” You popped a few pieces of popcorn into your mouth, chewing slowly so you didn’t get any kernels stuck between your teeth.

John pondered for a brief moment, he’d loved watching the classics, but maybe something new could be better? No, something from the 90’s maybe.

“What about Candyman?” It was one of your favorites, having grown up as a horror fan you clung onto the infamous movie.

“A man after my own heart.” You giggled and grabbed your remote to turn the movie on. 

The only light in your living room, besides the TV of course, were the string lights you’d hung up in the middle of September. You’d claimed it would help give ambience to the movie watching experience, and John definitely had to admit that it had. It gave off an eerie vibe that he couldn’t quite place, but given that it was Halloween he wasn’t going to complain.

You could practically recite the movie, the way Tony Todd portrayed the character of Candyman so well never ceased to amaze you. You’d wanted to have a career in film making, but given that the industry was one of the hardest to get into, your dreams were crushed. 

You wouldn’t have met John had you followed your dreams.

You hummed softly, it was true, had you followed your heart you would have never met your husband. Sure you probably would’ve met someone in Hollywood, but it wouldn’t have been the same.

“Wait, what are you wearing for Halloween?” You glanced over at your husband.

“I’ve got a pair of overalls I’m gonna grease up. Go dressed as a mechanic.” John was nothing short of efficient. He’d found them one day after going through his clothes and tossing out anything that was either too old, or had holes to be thrown away.

“Hmm, that works.” You turned and put your attention back onto the movie on your screen.

You and Johnny would be matching, while Simon and Kyle would technically be matching. It had started as a joke but after discussing it, you had all agreed and the plans were set in stone. The costumes arrived a few weeks after you’d ordered them, the boys all paying you back right away. John of course had no idea what you were wearing, and you weren’t going to tell him until the very night of. It was going to be quite the surprise, you couldn’t wait for him to see.

Halloween

You were pulling on your undergarments, not wanting to spoil any surprises your husband might find later before quickly pulling on your dress. You’d been tempted to order a wig to truly match but you didn’t want to risk it. Instead you fixed up your hair, placing the headband before pulling on a pair of pantyhose. After a quick glance in the mirror you were happy with your look, pulling on the shoes and heading down to the living room. The boys had all crammed into your home, each of them taking their respective costumes to go and change. John had run to the store to get one final bag of candy, promising he’d be back in time to head to the party.

Kyle walked out in his amazing glory, the fluffy coat showing off his amazing physique.

“I have to admit, you make an amazing Ken.” You snickered and twirled your finger, telling him to give you a full view.

The costume was perfect, down to the headband and sunglasses he’d managed to find last minute. It was the only thing missing out of his entire get up.

“What can I say? I was born to be a total stud.” He smirked before bursting into laughter, both of you righting yourselves as Johnny walked out.

“I forgot how much I hated wearing boots sometimes.” Johnny muttered to himself.

The two of you had dressed as Velma and Daphne, Johnny had offered to be Velma since he was already a natural brunette. You weren’t going to argue with the man, the dress gave your husband even easier access.

“If you can tuck the bottom of the sweater under itself, it’ll look better.” You walked over and helped him adjust the dark orange sweater, brushing down the fabric of his skirt.

“Bettah?” Johnny glanced at you, hoping you could head out soon.

“Much.” You smiled and stepped back from him.

Before any of you could say anything else Simon walked out of the guest bathroom, the hot pink outfit causing all of your jaws to drop open. How Kyle had convinced him to dress up as cowboy Barbie you weren’t entirely sure, but god did he look fantastic.

“I have to admit, you look fucking hot right now.” Your eyes were wide, hands reaching up to mess with the green scarf wrapped around your neck.

“Thanks, this is all Kyle’s idea.” Simon tossed his bag down beside the couch.

“I’m not complaining, those pants are doing so much for your ass right now.” Your cheeks heated up before you caught the way Johnny was also eyeing him. At least you weren’t alone.

The sound of the front door opening suddenly caught your attention, your husband made it home with a few minutes to spare. Such a procrastinator that one was, now you’d be rushing out the door to get to the party.

“Sorry! Nearly got into a fight with someone who almost hit me on the way home. I just need to get dressed.” John dropped the candy into the large bowl, turning to face the rest of you.

His eyes landed on Simon first, a slight brow raised before he saw Kyle, followed by Johnny, and then lastly you. 

“Don’t tell me. Kyle and Simon are Barbie and Ken, and you two are Daphne and Velma?” John snickered as he slipped off his shoes quickly.

“Good job, now go get dressed so we can leave!” You all but pushed your husband towards your bedroom.

You could discuss the costumes later when you were actually where you needed to be for the night, right now was not the time. The plus side is that you were within walking distance of the party, the downside was that you were definitely going to be late. 

“Jeez, your arms look even bigger.” Kyle blurted out as Simon flexed his arms. Johnny was practically drooling at the sight.

“Alright, you guys head outside and I’ll see what’s taking John so long.” You waited until they’d all left, mainly to make sure poor Johnny didn’t pass out.

Shaking your head you made your way down to your bedroom, pushing the door open slowly so you didn’t startle him.

“Hey hun, are you…” You trailed off as you saw your husband, the white tank top he’d dirtied and greased up showed off the sleeves of tattoos as well as his back piece beautifully.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, let’s go hun.” John spritzed a couple sprays of cologne before heading over to you.

You watched the way his muscles ripped beneath the fabric, eyes glancing down to his legs beneath the coveralls. The arms over his coveralls were wrapped around his waist, giving him the look of being an actual mechanic. Jesus you weren’t going to be able to keep your hands off of him at this rate.

“I’ll have to remember to have someone take a photo of us when we get there.” You grabbed your wristlet and headed out of the house with John.

The other three, that were locked in a heated discussion, all fell silent as they saw their captain in a tank top. 

“Holy shit, you’re covered in tattoos?!” Kyle was floored, he’d recently found out his captain rode motorcycles, but seeing this? This was all new.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve had these for years.” John merely shrugged, wrapping an arm around your waist as you all made the short walk to Kate’s house.

The music was loud enough that you could hear it outside, but it was clear that everyone was still able to have conversations. Kyle, Simon, and Johnny all took off the moment you got inside with John, causing you to roll your eyes. You just wanted one photo to at least remember the night, the costumes looked so good too!

“I’ll make sure they take a photo before we head home tonight, promise.” John pressed a kiss to your hair, leading you further into the party.

“Thank you.” You smiled as you leaned against him, avoiding any of the grease that could ruin your dress.

The party was lively, everyone complimenting your costume as well as John’s even asking a few questions about his tattoos. John was proud of the work he’d had done, especially the back piece he’d sat through over five sessions for. You loved when John got the recognition he deserved. The man was downright gorgeous, and you were reveling in the fact that he’d chosen you out of everyone.

The hours flew by, the drinks flowing through your system before John cut you off. He wasn’t going to risk getting you drunk like last time. You’d taken photos with all of your friends, giggling at the couples costume that Farah and Alex had done. He’d dressed up as a dinosaur while she was dressed like a handler. Everyone took photos with John, claiming they wanted to show off the tattoos he had and see if they could get something half as good. You knew better, it was only because of how gorgeous your husband was. You weren’t blind, even in regular clothes John was the most attractive man you’d ever met.

“Hey, why don’t I take you home? It’s getting late anyway.” John could see the way your eyes were drooping closed, exhaustion seeping into your bones.

“We gotta round up the boys too.” You’d offered up the spare bedrooms so they didn’t have to worry about driving home so late at night.

“Already did, sweetheart, so let’s go.” John scooped you up into his arms, saying goodbyes to everyone before making your way out of the house.

Your eyes slowly slipped closed as you rested against his chest, your feet sore from standing in the kitten heels for the last five hours. John didn’t so much as complain as he carried you to your shared home, opening the door to let everyone inside. Johnny didn’t hesitate to rip off his boots, tossing them aside before ripping off the sweater. John raised a brow at the younger man, watching as he hurriedly picked up his discarded items.

“Sorry, sir.” Johnny wasn’t going to let them lie around, would never do so in someone else’s home, but getting to strip down was his only thought.

“Just clean up, that's all I ask.” John turned and headed up to your bedroom, laying you on the plush mattress before turning to change into his own pajamas.

Your soft snores filled the air, chest rising and falling slowly as you slept peacefully on your bed. John chuckled and finished getting changed, turning to help you out of your own clothes. His eyes widened as he realized you had gotten new lingerie, jaw dropping open. He’d talk to you about it tomorrow, right now you were exhausted and needed some sleep.

After grabbing one of his more oversized shirts he helped ease you into the fabric, pulling off your headband and setting everything onto the dresser. You hadn’t so much as flinched the entire time, assuring John that you were completely asleep. He headed down to the living room, making sure the other three were settled before turning off the lights. It was fun getting to see everyone dressed up, simply enjoying themselves with good company.

“Thank you, for being the best thing I could ever ask for.” John crawled into bed beside you, pulling you flush to his chest.

You murmured softly in your sleep, wrapping your arms around his waist. There were definitely some things that the two of you needed to talk about. 

Those could wait, for now he would simply hold you and enjoy himself.

tagging: @gaylemonshark @thesinsoflust @dante-mightdie @mh073099

[the-oblivious-writer]

Carpenter Sisters Headcanons

Sam Carpenter & Tara Carpenter

Notes: Just some headcanons of my favorite sisters (aka my beloveds). Wanted to give you something since I've been pretty inactive this month partly due to the Christmas special I'm planning (which is coming soon) I also just love Sam & Tara sm, they will forever live on no matter what

Sam Carpenter

We should all already know this but, Sam is all the above when it comes to Tara. Big sister? Check. Dad? Check. Mom? Check, check, check

Makes Tara carry around a bunch of self-defense weapons like a taser, pepper spray etc

Texts like an old man. She doesn't know a whole bunch of "text lingo" so Tara uses that to her advantage. She'd text you "Kys" thinking it meant "keep yourself safe" because that's what Tara told her. She definitely uses these emojis: 😂 🙂

Is completely lost when it comes to "slang terms" and abbreviations. Tara: "You ate that Sam." Sam: "Ate what? I'm not even eating." Tara's laughed/made fun of her for it while Sam remains confused

Hates being called Samantha. It reminds her of how her mother would scold and ridicule her. When Tara started calling her Sammy, she couldn't be any happier with the given nickname

Never got Tara's love for Horror growing up, but tried to understand for her. In her opinion, it's illogical how most of the characters act, but Tara likes it so she doesn't mind giving it another try

Definitely introverted. She's more outgoing with people she's comfortable with; Tara, Mindy, Chad. Growing up, she never socialized a lot

Will always set everybody else's plate before her own

The Core Four have game nights and it can get... intense. Let's just say on multiple occasions (whether that was Tara buying her out during monopoly or Chad and Mindy giving her yet another +4 in Uno) she has been extremely close to flipping the table

Could laugh to the point where she's gasping for air, I can imagine her and the Core Four just wheezing over the dumbest things

Definitely had "the world doesn't understand me so I cope by blasting music very loudly in my room, not gaf who I piss off" phase. One of the songs she would blast was Creep by Radiohead (canon event. I can't interfere.)

Tara Carpenter

Could sleep anywhere, and always sleeping any chance she gets. I'd say she's a night person, and hates being woken up so early in the morning. And I can imagine she's a sleep talker too

Growing up she had a favorite stuffed animal she carried around everywhere with her and refused to sleep without it

She was a thumbsucker growing up, which she was teased for

Never learned how to ride a bike

She's always hated needles. Whenever she was forced to get a shot when she was younger, she refused to take it without Sam being in the room with her. Sam would let Tara squeeze her hand as tightly as she needed to

Cannot drive for shit. I just know this woman is a bad driver, Sam and the others just hold on to dear life and cross their fingers when Tara gets into the driver's seat

Her car is a complete mess, like you'll just find the randomist stuff in there. There's probably no limit to what you could find if you just try hard enough

She wakes up in the weirdest positions and thinks, "How tf did this even happen-"

Bullies kids on roblox (I don't make the rules)

If someone messes with Sam, they better count their days

She can get soo competitive. If she's winning, you'll know. Can get cocky when celebrating, chanting and everything

Her, Chad, and Mindy would put together one of those "performances" when they were little in order to convince Sam to let them stay up late or have a sleep over. Sam said yes every time

Tara's a shark defender. She believes they're extremely misunderstood creatures

-----------

A/N: I need a Sam & Tara for Christmas

[n0vabug]

Insomnia

So the readers mom gets like sick and put into the hospital and the reader finds out, but doesn't tell sam because she didn't want sam to worry, so she snuck off everyday to the hospital to visit her, She developed depression and really bad anxiety and insomnia and sam finds out. Sorry if it's not good, I forgot about this and then came back to it and rushed the end so yeah 👍.

This contains: mentions of depression, anxiety, insomnia, angst, a little fluff (I would've wrote more but I needed to post smth 😭😭), and other stuff like this. If this or anything else makes you uncomfortable, I recommend that you do NOT read this. Words: 1757

THIRD PERSON POV

Sam, Y/n, Mindy, Chad, and Tara, have all moved to NY six months ago after the ghostface attacks. Y/n's mom lived in New York and Y/n was always close with her mom, her mom made her feel loved and always put her first, when Y/n first told her mom about dating sam, her mom was very supportive and loved sam like she loved Y/n. When Y/n told her mom that they were moving to NY, her mom was very happy. Her mom lived in Brooklyn while Y/n and Sam lived in the city so they lived about 30 minutes away from each other. After 2 months of living in NY, Y/n's mom got really sick and put into the hospital, she eventually fell into a coma. Y/n's dad left her and her mom when she was 2 so they had no contact with him, so Y/n was the only person the hospital called when she got put there, since they had no other family, her mom's parents died and her sister lived in another country and has no contact with them. Y/n snuck off to the hospital every day to visit her mom, she hasn't slept in 4 months and hasn't been the same. Anika quickly became best friends with Y/n, so when she wasn't with Mindy, she was with Y/n. Sam and Anika have noticed but Y/n just lies and says she is fine.

Y/N'S POV

It was 1pm, which was the usual time that I went to visit my mother in the hospital, I told sam that I had to go to my job, praying she wouldn't find any of this out. The insomnia, the depression, the anxiety, the pills, everything else, all of it, if she found out, she would be pissed that I've been lying to her.

"Bye sam, I have to go to work."

"Yep, I know, bye." She came over to me and tried to hug me before I left, but I flinched when she put her arms out, causing her to not hug me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm great, love you, bye."

"Love you too..." was the last thing I heard before walking out the door and to my car.

SAM'S POV

Y/n has been acting really weird lately, she usually loves physical touch but she flinches every time I try to hug her, she hates only saying "love you" because she says "it has less meaning if you don't put the I in front of it" but she hasn't said "I love you" in who knows how long, she stares off into space all the time, and her eyes, they look exhausted. She goes to her job everyday at 12:30 pm, she doesn't tell me where she works and she shows up very late every night. Anika was the only one to seem who noticed. Anika was thankfully at our dorm so I could tell her what happened this time, Chad, Ethan, Tara, Anika, and Quinn all had a small hangout. I walked up to Anika to pull her aside for a second.

"Hey can I talk to you for a second?" I asked

"Yeah, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just something important I have to talk to you about." I said before walking into my room with her following behind.

"She's being weird again." I told her

"What happened this time?" She asked me, we always told each other if she was acting weird, we asked her if she was okay, but she always said yes, we both doubted it though.

"She said 'love you' again and flinched when I tried to hu g her."

"Ask her about it Sam, and this time don't just ask if she's okay, because she obviously isn't, tell her that she can trust you, and she can tell you anything, but if she doesn't say anything just give her time, she'll open up about it soon."

"I can try, if I see her tonight, thanks Anika, you can go back to Mindy now."

One secret I knew about Y/n was that even though she was 25, she still kept a notebook that she wrote in like a diary, like a 13 year old. I knew I shouldn't have, but I wanted to figure out what was going on, so I looked in the place she hid it, and grabbed it, I opened it and started reading.

June 2022

One of my mom's friends went over to her house today, they found her passed out on the floor, she called an ambulance and they took her in, she was put in a coma, I don't know how to feel, but I told sam I got a job, and left today to visit her at the hospital, she was cold, lifeless, seeing her like this hurt me, I couldn't tell sam, I didn't want her to worry about me, plus it'll ll probably be fine soon.

September 2022

It's been 3 months, she's not awake, I've had little to no sleep during this time, I developed depression and worse anxiety problems, I sneak to the hospital everyday at 1pm still claiming I'm going to work. I think Sam and Anika have started to notice, they ask me a lot if I'm okay. Every time Sam touches me, I think of my mom when I was little, I know it's a weird comparison but idk it's just how I feel, I miss it, but I just don't want a reminder of what's been going on.

October 2022 I've suffered from insomnia for 4 months now, all because in my restless dreams, I see her face, her pale lifeless body, laying there. It's all getting worse, I still haven't told sam, I don't want her to worry.

Y/N'S POV

I walked into the room my mom was in, again, like I have for the last four months. I'm staring at her cold lifeless body, every time I see her my heart just shatters, seeing her like this everyday, asking myself if it will ever just get better.

Before all of this happened, I loved physical touch, when sam's warm soft hands would intertwine with my fingers, or wrap around my waist. I loved it. I miss it, but every time she touches me, I think of my mom. When sam puts her hands on my shoulders it makes me think of a game me and my mom played where I would hide and when she found me she would be secretive and put her hands on my shoulders to scare me. When sam hugs me I think of how I would run into my mom's arms everyday she picked me up from school. When sam kisses me on the forehead or cheek, I think of my mom kissing my forehead or cheek when saying goodnight. It is a weird comparison but of course my mom did it out of love, but family type of love, while sam does it out of romantic love, but her touch just reminds me of my mom when I was a kid. I understand it sounds weird, but idk.

~~~

I get back to the apartment, thinking it would be a normal day, but the second I saw sam, I was interrogated with many questions. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Is she okay?"

"Are you okay, well I know the answer to that, but you should've told me, I worry more now that you didn't tell me about this."

I looked at her confused, why would she know any of this, I couldn't think why she would know, until she held up the diary, I know I'm 25 and it's stupid but it's a nice way to get my feelings out.

"I uh, I don't know, I'm sorry, I should've told you sooner." Tears brimmed at my eyelids, I tried to hold them back but I couldn't, I stared at sam for a moment until the warm tears trickled down my cheeks and wouldn't stop. She gave me a concerning look, but didn't hug me because she knew about the touch thing. I walked up to her, wrapped my arms around her, and tightly gripped onto her shirt. She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back, she put her other hand on my head until she picked me up, my legs wrapped around her waist and face buried in the crook of her neck.

We sat there for a few minutes until I calmed down.

"Listen, you know you can tell me anything right? It hurts me to see you in this state, I can see you have barely slept, I've noticed the anxiety and everything else. You can talk to me whenever, if you want to talk to me about this, I'm willing to listen whenever you're ready and whenever you want to talk. I love you." Is what she said before kissing my forehead.

"Thank you, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before, I just couldn't, but you know now so I'll tell you more about it later, I'm still not exactly ready. I love you sam."

She looked at me and smiled, she then passionately kissed me, and ofc not being able to resist, I kissed her back. I love her.

A/N Sorry about the end, I kind of forgot about this and needed to quickly finish it 😭😭😭, anyways it's almost summer and i'm really excited, except for the fact that I have to leave my friends which makes me very sad, I wished for it to be summer and now it almost is and I regret it because I might not see some of my best friends ever again ☹️☹️. Anyways I hope you liked this chapter.

UPDATE: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS GOING ON THROUGH MY HEAD WHEN I WROTE THIS, IM NGL I HATE IT, BUT IT HAD THE SECOND HIGHEST AMOUNT OF VOTES ON WATTPAD 😭😭. ALSO FUCK THE AUTHORS NOTE, ITS ALMOST SCHOOL, AND IM NOT FUCKING EXCITED, IT WAS ONLY ONE FRIEND I WAS LEAVING BRO, AND I STILL TALK TO HER, BUT WTF WAS GOING THROUGH MY MIND WHILE WRITING THIS, I MEAN ITS WHATEVER IG. BTW THIS AND SICK WERE ALSO FROM MAY.

[lina-lovebug]

You Are Mine, p. 3

Synposis: You and Quaritch are mated but your sister, Neytiri, cannot accept him

Warnings: cussing, Neytiri hating Quaritch

Usually in a situation like this, Miles Quaritch would be yelling and pissed off.

But him falling into a stream because he tried catching a fish with his bare hands and his mate laughing at him only brought him pure joy.

"Oh, you think this is funny?" Miles questioned, grabbing me by my hands and pulling me in.

I gasped as the cold water hit my skin and hit his chest playfully.

"You skxawng!"

Your laughter was heard from miles around. Neytiris' ears flicked downwards, and she growled under her breath.

"What's wrong?" Kiri questioned.

"She should not have mated with him," Neytiri expressed, "He is a bad man. He is the reason your grandfather is dead."

"Nothing could ever change what he did, mom. But I can see he's trying to make amends-"

"Nothing can-!"

"He loves her, mom!" Kiri stopped Neytiri.

"I can see it. There's a reason they met, and why Aunt (Y/N) fell in love with him. You trust your sister, and I know that my aunt would not be tricked like this," Kiri saw the love between them, and it wasn't fake. Miles Quaritch wasn't deceiving her.

But Neytiri wouldn't believe it.

He's a monster and always would be, in her eyes.

He killed their father.

"He regrets it. I can-"

"Kiri, you are young. You cannot fathom what he has done."

"It wasn't just him! I love dad, but he knew. He knew what was coming and you still love him."

"It was different-!"

"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Jake interrupted, hearing the commotion as he came home with Lo'ak and Neteyam.

"Dad, please, you have to give Miles a chance. You were once one of them, you thought like them, you even thought of us as savages," Now that hurt Jake.

"I swear to you on Eywa that he's changed. He loves (Y/N)."

"I can see it," Lo'ak spoke up.

"The way he watches her was weird, but it wasn't in a creepy way. He looks at her like you look at mom," Lo'ak told Jake, who knew the truth but it was Quaritch. He hated the natives more than anyone.

And yet he mated with one of them.

"Hey, is everything alright?"

Neytiri looked back to see him. He was wearing Na'vi clothing, he looked like Na'vi, but she knows hatred when it's infront of her.

"You will never be one of us," Neytiri sneered before walking away, Neteyam and Lo'ak following after their mother.

Miles ears fell back, knowing this wouldn't be easy.

"I don't give a damn what she tells me, but (Y/N) misses her sister. I can't stand seeing her like this," Despite how hard he's tried, he knew that all his mate wanted was for her sister to forgive her and accept him.

And the problem of the humans. They had to have figured out by now that Miles betrayed them and had to be looking.

Fighting his own spaud was going to be a bitch.

"I don't like you all that much right now either, but I know (Y/N), and she wouldn't choose if she didn't know that you've changed," Maybe she was right. Just like Jake, Miles had grown to see the beauty of Pandora and its people.

"Oh, and Miles?"

"Yes?"

Jake had punched him in the face, causing Spider and Tuk to gasp.

"That's for trying to kill me."

"Yeah, I should've seen that coming."

But before anything else, everyone heard a scream. Miles ears folded back, recognizing the voice as his (Y/N).

Him and Jake exchanged a look of worry before running in the direction of the scream.

What happened? Is she okay? Why did I leave her alone?

Thousands of thoughts were racing through his mind, regretting every second he wasn't by your side.

"Tell me who sent you!"

"Let go of me, bitch!"

Only to find (Y/N) holding Corporal Lyle by his queue and with a dagger to his throat. Blood dripped from his nose and mouth, showing that he got a good beat down in the few seconds it took them to get to her.

"Colonel! Tell this bitch to let go of me!" But then he noticed something. . .off. His Corporal wasn't in his gear but instead, he looked like one of them.

"So it's true. You did run off. For what?! Some quick native pussy?!"

Before Miles could beat the living shit out of him, an arrow shot through the brush and into his skull.

That arrow was so fast, and if Neytiri was feeling extra vengeful, she could've easily killed him. She glanced at Miles as she came out of the bush.

"You better be ready to lay down your life for her," Neytiri hissed, and (Y/N) looked towards her mate.

"Always."

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

I need help, my life is now a living hell. (TW suicide attempt mention)

I know this is gonna annoy a lot of you for bitching and whining again but as of late my life has been really hard. I had to sell my soul and my life to a demon against my will. There is a toxic parasite I want to cut ties with but can’t. I am talking about a toxic family member who has no respect for boundaries and loves to judge and be rude to everyone around her.

I just really need some help rn guys because at this rate it really feels like I can either endure and sacrifice my sanity for as long as she lives or I could only ever end it via suicide. I have tried to do it twice while she was down and my mother has to hide away medication so I don’t overdose and sharp things such as knives and scissors when her new favourite person ever, her karen on steroids sister is here.

To paint a picture there is a story about when I was a baby with my cousin and toxic aunt. My toxic aunt would use grandma ( her mother) as a slave whenever she came to visit her grandson. “Now that you’re here I want you to do EVERYTHING for him while I go and bitch and whine about coffee and ask to see managers (I’m not joking. She literally does that. Saw it multiple times when she stays with us.). Whilst my Mom would offer to do fun activities with her and us, like go to the beach, etc. Because of this she enjoyed our company more than my toxic aunt who threw a tantrum over it. “You love my sister’s daughters more than my son!”. She got so pissed that she moved out of our place during a vacation. Mother offered to have my cousin and grandma to play in the pool with me and my sister whilst she helped my toxic aunt pack. She EXPLODED over that! Why? Idk. She then stormed into the house screaming and it woke baby me up and I was sobbing. Dad got mad and told her to get out and we had nothing to do with her until grandma died.

She hasn’t changed at all. Very toxic, always complaining and saying horrible things behind our backs. I had multiple extreme meltdowns when she came. She stayed for four whole months last year. One summer, one spring, one for every season. She has this rule too where only she is allowed to talk, all she does to complain and she gets weirdly excited when someone else is struggling…she loves to happily talk about others misfortunes and then she finds no joy in going to the beach and going out for lunch. Instead she complains constantly and it ruins the whole day. Mother told me she says the most horrible things about me behind my back too…which gets her upset but she puts up with it because she is going through a divorce. We put up with her rude behaviour out of pity. I understand how hard getting divorced is but it shouldn’t excuse…whatever the fuck she is doing to us. Mother and I got into extreme arguments because of her as well and we rarely fight. My toxic aunt turns my parents against me. I’m freaking out because she is going to come down again.

Last time she claimed to be more respectful of our boundaries. “We don’t have to do something every day, I’m ok to hang out by myself every now and then.” Then she guilt trips us by saying “I don’t know why I bother coming down here if I’m going to be alone.” Over me wanting to spend ONE fucking weekend alone with my mom out of an ENTIRE month of her hovering around us and never shutting up. She also loves to interrupt. I would be in the middle of saying something and she cuts in as if I’m worth nothing! Then I can’t even say anything because she never shuts up ever! Then when I am blessed with a moment of talking (usually because mother says Izzy has something to say) I get nervous about saying something she will judge me for!

She belittles every trigger of mine too. Once I used to like this cafe and she has this huge obsession with their muffins. I don’t go there anymore though because some mean teenage girls work there now and they have been openly rude to me two times when I visited. So rude I ended up crying once. I didn’t want to go back (keep in mind I have been bullied a lot as well, I have a huge fear of mean girls) My aunt gave me this huge lecture about it and tried to force me to go in just so she can get her muffins. I felt completely shattered as she gave me a hard time over it. In the end mother figured out her angle and just dropped her off there whilst I waited in the car…for her to do that though about my own experiences and my triggers and not wanting to return to a cafe with rude service…it was just so insensitive.

She used to say rude things to me because of me displaying typical autistic traits like my weird eating habits and my special obsessions. Mother made her stop saying things to my face but she told me she just says judgemental things behind my back now and she gives me this god awful judgemental stare when we go out to eat…She also shows no respect for mental illnesses such as anxiety, saying it’s not real. She also once made fun of someone who committed suicide…which shows how she isn’t really a good person. She picks at Mom and gives her a hard time and openly judges her and says rude things to her and mother always bottles it and takes it out on me in the end because the one who HAD been rude to her is going through a divorce.

I never want to have to endure her abusive behaviour again but I’m completely powerless. I feel so hopeless. Idk what to do..

[eneablack]

I SHIFTED 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 AVATAR DR

The last few times I shifted were only with intention but this time I also said affirmations that grounded me in that reality (for example: "I am ene'ya te kalin satkie'itan” , “I live in Pandora”, “I am a na'vi”, etc…), and I went to sleep with the mentality that I was already there in Pandora.

I took notes right after I came back btw so everything was still fresh in my mind, then I added it all together and I tried to make a storytime as detailed as I can. I probably don’t remember well all the things but I tried my best to make everything accurate to what happened.

Okay so let me start.

I had scripted that Lo'ak would wake me up but that didn't happen, instead when I opened my eyes (I don't know what time it was because we don't keep track of time with clocks there) i got kind of scared because I found myself with my face squashed in a hammock so I could see everything from a big height and thought I could fall at any moment. This time I immediately realized that I had shifted because 1. I scripted it and 2. everything was too different, starting from the environment (forest) and ending on myself (literally blue), but I didn't even feel strong emotions like in the other shifts idk why, I was already used to being there as if I've always been there (in that reality it's obvious that I've always been there but you know what I mean).

As I was getting up I was told something like “you finally woke up, we thought you were dead” or something like that because it was said in Na'vi (now that I’m back I think its so weird that I knew and was used to a completely different language). Anyway, in the end it was Tuk who had spoken and she was standing next to a surface of worked wood with stuff on it that looked like exotic fruit. When I got up from the hammock for a moment it was strange to feel so huge (and semi-naked lol) and blue, but this too was super normal so I didn't think about it much.

There around the table, besides Tuk, were my father and one of my sisters and everything immediately became normal, I got back the memories and knowledge of that reality and I had the feeling that this reality was now a distant memory, or a dream, and it was there instead that I belonged. Tuk was at our place because she wanted to have breakfast with us, so then we started eating these seeds which were called pxorna and a type of fruit which name I don't remember, then there was also the spartan fruit which I think was the one from the first film (which Jake tastes for the first time in his new body). My mother and my other sister had gone hunting since I had woken up late, meanwhile then I decided to take Tuk back to her family and bro, I expected to be super excited to meet the rest of the Sully family but instead it was normal like everything else 😭 (now that I'm back here I've been freaking out the whole time that is, I still don't realize but okay).

Neytiri is fucking beautiful btw, and Jake is ethereal irl and is much more patient with the children since the sky people wasn’t there yet. Kiri is like in the movie I have nothing to add, she is nice to me but she is very sarcastic. Lo'ak is quite a kid lmao, even though he's in his 20s he acted a bit annoying and rebellious just because (obviously I love Lo'ak but I'm just describing how he was there, I’m not judging him) but still he was my best friend and i have to say we were very similar now that i think back on it.

Neteyam on the other hand.. bro, the most annoying person in the world, I’LL EXPLAIN RIGHT AWAY don't attack me. Practically, clever as I am, I scripted an enemies to lovers with him, not considering that actually in the "enemies" phase we would have been "enemies" and I have to say okay: it's not that we hated each other or were really enemies, but we kind of couldn't stand not even breathe the same air. He still always had that protective older brother personality and was kind/available to everyone BUT NOT WITH ME, I really pissed him off 😭 but it was mutual so yea. In fact, when he saw me bring Tuk back he snorted and changed seats so I remember that I kind of teased him about it but I don't remember exactly what I said to him.

Later I went out with Lo'ak and we went to get the ikrans because he wanted to go to Tsireya and wanted me to accompany him lmao because they weren't really together yet so he was shy. We had another friend called Nìmäng (he isn’t in the movies), and he was much more serious than us; I don't know how he could be our friend but somehow it worked because he balanced our non-seriousness. In short, we took the ikrans (mine is called Zeswavi) and y’all, it's a one of a kind experience, you feel the wind stinging your skin and you perceive in your body everything the ikran is feeling, then don't make fun of me but you also feel invincible, it's so incredible (I recommend you to shift there just to experience this thing).

When we arrived in Awa'atlu (I scripted that it's only 10 minutes flight away because I'm smart) it was just spectacular, it looked like the Maldives🧍🏼 but much much better. So, now I want you to trust me when I say that I had to hold back not to jump on Tonowari, that man is irresistible and so mighty irl, I can't do it lorddd. Ronal didn't like me that much and frankly I'm afraid it was because she saw me drooling over her husband. Tsireya is lovely, the kindest person there I must say, as well as Rotxo. Ao'nung on the other hand.. an infernal beast, literally; he’s cool I mean, but he was really annoying, he liked to tease me and provoke me every 5 minutes, but I responded by hitting him so it was all balanced.

The rest of the day was spent swimming with the ilus, playing a kind of ping pong with barks and also fishing at some point, which would have been very boring if it weren't for Ao'nung who, although annoying, is really funny. Later Kiri and Tuk also joined us, Neteyam as well, with whom I had a fight because I hit him on the head with the fishing net (it was actually hilarious). Before the eclipse we went back to the forest and brought back some of the fish we had caught, my mother cooked it and wrapped it in seaweed and it was all so good man.

We then all gathered around a bonfire and sang songs, other na'vis sang and some danced, it was truly magical. For a moment I stared at Neteyam because, even if I couldn't stand him, he was really beautiful under the firelight, but when he saw me he said like "what are you looking at, skxawng?" (“idiot”) so I insulted him and started ignoring him again lol.

At night I decided to shift here again because the experience was so beautiful that I wanted to tell everyone about it.

Thanks for reading this all <3 go shift!

[the-path-to-redemption]

Long Post Ahead

So, I just rewatched the first episode of Ice Queendom, and MY GOD, did it just pisses me off even more when I looked at the entire series as a whole.

It set up the characters, the dynamic, the pacing, and the motivation so fucking well that I'm more than just disappointed that the entire series derailed at the end. The first episode was amazing, and I think that's why many of us wanted to give the franchise another chance.

Already in the first 5 minutes of the episode, we were shown what we always wanted from canon RWBY: Yang's interaction with Summer's grave and how she felt about her mother. Hell, she even calls Summer "Mama", and gives her a wink as she embraces Ruby who just told Summer about her sister's admission to Beacon. It establishes their family dynamic, which only furthers when we see Tai interacting with his daughters.

He jokes with Yang and talks to her about their family having an outing, he goes with her to Vale to check on Ruby when she's late with the present, and they both wait for Ruby at the police station. He even sent them off on the airship. Where the fuck was this guy in the canon?? Ice Queendom actually managed to make him believable as a single father who's trying his best to support his girls, instead of someone sitting around in his house doing nothing.

The first episode also established the Schnee family so fucking well as a contrast to the Xiao Long-Roses, with Weiss already too familiar with her mother's day drinking habit and her tense relationship with Whitley, who was given a moment of complexity! What the fuck, they actually feel like siblings who never connected because their parents are never there for them without villainizing neither kids for feeling the way they do.

It even shows, in the end, how Weiss felt about her grandfather. Which had it been written by capable writers, we could've seen Nikolas Schnee from various perspectives. He could've simultaneously been a good family man, a great man whom Weiss idolizes, and a colonizing monster that he is to everyone else, especially to Vacuans whom he spearheaded their decline. There was something here, people, fucking do something about it.

And Blake... oh, baby girl I am fucking mad for you at the end of Ice Queendom. It sets her and Adam up so well, even with him clearly letting her go so that she, in his mind, can truly understand the cruelty of the world and how it treats Faunus. None of that bullshit "abusive relationship" shtick was shown, but rather what we expected of them: they have a fallout due to differing opinions but still aim for the same goal which is Faunus liberation.

But nope, her shadow self was villainized at the end for speaking the TRUTH. Weiss and her family did exploit the Faunus. Hell, Weiss herself in the nightmare clearly groups the exploitative, parasitic board members of her company in the same hostile environment as the people they abuse, the Faunus, who she portrays as monsters. In Weiss' mind, these two groups are the same, and that's fucking horrid. Weiss don't give a fuck about the truth at the end, she's just embarrassed that now everyone she knows sees how much of a fucking racist she is.

Ice Queendom disappointed me, and I hate it.

[tr4sh-jam]

You look better in black (p2)

A/N:i will be doing these almost each chapter, today i’ll be short with my note READ THESE i’m not joking cuz i’ll be putting warnings/trigger warnings as author notes and feel free to dm me or just leave ideas in the comments

you didn’t know if you wanted to cry or not, you probably couldn’t if you wanted to.

“it’s not so bad…” Helaena started as she brushed your hair, if anyone else had told you that you would’ve smacked them, you always had a soft spot for your sister she was the only one who saw you as a person, Ameond saw you as a toy simply something to walk around with, but Helaena was different.

“He seems really nice…nicer than Aegon” she says, sometimes you wish you could trade spots with her, not because you liked Aegon he could die right in front of you and you wouldn’t care, but because she was nice, a nice person while you were far from that one could even say you were a sociopath, people around court would call you that, never in your face though.

“i guess you’re right, Jace is much better than Ageon or some old lord that only wants to bring his families name up by using me.” you jokingly say.

you both chat for a while until the topic of what you’re going to wear for dinner is brought up.

“Are you gonna wear something black, blue, or green.”Helaena softly ask.

“I’ll wear black, it’s not a big deal anyways it’s fathers house color and ours. our last name is Targaryen not Hightower.” you said loudly picking up some earrings from your jewelry box.

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you both hear a knock on your door pausing for a second you finally speak loud enough for them to hear “Come in.”

Jace slowly open’s the door and steps in.

“What are you doing here, we’re not supposed to be alone together, not until we wed.” you say completely forgetting Helaena is here.

“But we’re not alone, Helaena is here so we’re fine.” he playfully say’s while looking at your dress.

“Okay what brings you here my prince.” you say in a sarcastic voice hoping he’d get to the point and just leave.

“Oh yeah right uhm since we’re betrothed I thought it would be nice to give you this necklace, i didn’t pick it out though it was my mothers idea.” he rambles on looking everywhere but you now

you playfully roll your eyes and tell him “ what happened to all that confidence just a second ago, don’t be a baby and put it on me, come on jacey” he perks up when he hears you use the old nickname you gave him when you were younger.

You can feel his heart and his breath as he slowly puts the necklace on you, his hand touching your soft skin, he leans in and looks into the mirror. “Has anyone told you that you look better in black?”

You turn around and look at him for a few seconds slowly leaning in until Helaena  interrupts the both of you “Sister it’s time to go, jace it’s best you go before us so no one suspects anything.”

he clears his throat “Alright.”

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Aemond see’s you and Helaena walking towards the dining hall “What the fuck are you wearing.” he say’s in a pissed tone while grabbing your arm

“Helaena go on ahead it seems like our brother doesn’t know how to respect his elder sister.” you state in a very passive aggressive tone.

he scoffs “i’m warning you wearing that won’t make mother happy” he says

“i’m fully aware of that and i’m soon to marry jace and as his future wife it’s my job to support him and if that means I support his mother’s claim to the throne, HER BIRTH RIGHT then so be it, now get your hands off me you’re gonna ruin the dress.” you say

“You sound so-“ Aemond says but you stop him right before he could finish what he was gonna say.

“If you haven’t noticed I don’t really care what you think, i’ve always been by your side supporting you, so for this one moment support me.”

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little did he know this conversation would be the last conversation you’d have with him as brother and sister, as friends.

As you walked into the dining hall all eyes were on you, Rhaenyra giving you an amused smile, while your mother looked at you with shock and confusion.

You walked right past Aemond and sat right next to jace smiling at him.

"Let us toast as well Prince Lucerys... future Lord of the Tides."

"You do know how the act is done, I assume? At least in principle? Where to put your cock and all that?" Aegon murmured to Jace, you couldn’t help but scoff at his comment while drinking your wine.

"You can play the jester if you wish, but hold your tongue before my betrothed." Jacaerys ordered sharply, Aegon humming simply, jace turns to you and smiles a little bit

“your quite stupid you know, he only wants a rise out of you, you of all people knew that by know” you say bitterly

jace could never understand you, sometimes you were kind to him and other times you were cold, but as he thought about it more he came to the conclusion it had to do with him hurting your brother.

Painfully and gradually, Viserys rose to his feet, exhaling heavily on the spot and leaning against the table. "Both of them make my heart happy and it fills me with sorrow to see these faces around the table. The faces dearest to me in the whole world...but who have grown so distant from each other in recent years." you could only wonder why as you listened

Viserys's hand latched onto his mask, beginning to strip him of his decaying flesh, and as it slipped from his complexion, he revealed a very unsettling sight. Half of his face had literally melted away, including his eye, revealing the inside of his own skull. "My own face... is no longer pretty... if it ever was. But tonight... I want you to see me... just as I am. Not just a king... but your father." , your brother, your husband, and your grandsire. Who doesn't seem to be walking among you much longer? He confessed. "Let's not hold bad feelings in our hearts anymore. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided. But put aside your complaints. If not for the sake of the crown... then for the sake of this old man who loves you all so well."

he fell back into his seat, and as she did, Rhaenyra rose from herself. "I wish to raise my glass to Her Grace, the Queen." She announced it. "I love my father. But I must admit that no one has remained... more loyal than his dear wife. She has served him with... unswerving devotion, love, and honor. And for that, she has my gratitude. And my apologies." she added, sitting down again.

"Your graciousness moves me deeply, Princess. We are both mothers... and we love our children. We have more in common than we sometimes allow. I raise my cup to you and to your house. You will make a fine queen."

Aemond raised his glass to Aegon, giving him an intriguing smile that he evidently understood, sipping his drink and moving slightly toward Baela to take the jug of wine from her side. "I regret the disappointment you will soon suffer dear sister ." He whispered to you. "But if you ever want to know what it's like to be well satisfied, all you have to do is ask."

before you could even respond Jace slammed his hands against the table, rising to his feet as Aegon casually passed him. "A toast to disappointment." Aemond raised a toast to Aegon, who agreed and smiled heartily, following his gestures to which Jace sent a glare of death.

Only Aemond rose to his feet, looking at Jace with a look of disgust, a warning that his next actions be taken seriously. Gingerly, Jace patted Aegon on the back whose eyes never left yours. "To Prince Ageon and Prince Aemond. We haven't seen each other in years, but I have fond memories of our shared youth. And as men, I hope we are still friends and allies. To you and your family's good health, dear uncles."

"To you as well." Aegon voiced plainly, Aemond slowly descending back to his seat, you couldn’t help but laugh at his silly comment while smiling at jace.

“I never knew you could be so petty jace, or should i call you lord husband.” you said while smiling at him

“lord husband doesn’t sound too bad my lady wife.” he jokes making sure everyone in the table heard your conversation.

"I would like to toast Baela and my sister." Helaena abruptly stood to her feet. "They'll be married soon. It isn't so bad. Mostly he just ignores you and flirts with your sister…except sometimes when he's drunk." Daemon chuckled loudly to which you simply chugged down your drink in embarrassment.

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eventually it came time to dance(i recommend you play die for you by the weeknd for the dancing part) jace got up and held his hand out to you

“My lady, would you do the honors of dancing with me?” he said while blushing.

“of course” you said softly

the two of you danced to many songs while talking about future plans

“This might sound crazy but y/n…i would die for you” he states

“i’ll be honest I don’t really want to be queen but you’re making it worthwhile.” you said in a serious tone

“But if it’s with you then I guess it’s worth trying” you whispered into his ear

“only if you let me name all of our children” you half joke

“yeah? how many do you want” he jokes back

“As many as you want.” you say while playing with his hair

“I want 7.” he states in a half serious tone

“You’re crazy, my gods.” you say while laughing.

The loud noise of Aemond's fist hitting the table brought both jace and you out of your own world. Strapping himself onto the wine glass, he stood up, lifting it into the air. "Final toast". He announced it. "To the health of my nephews. Jace...Luke...and Joffrey. Each one of them is handsome, wise..." He paused, staring at the boys in front of him, an intense, deafening silence between them all. , looking at Aemond with anticipation. You knew his plans, You knew him like the back of your hand….unfortunately. And he was proven right. "strong".

"Aemond." Alicent warned, causing Aegon to chuckle, rising to his feet beside Aemond.

"I dare you say that again." Jace warned

"Why? 'Twas only a compliment." Aemond commented, strolling forth in Jace's path "Do you not think yourself strong?" Jace landed a weak punch on Aemond's jaw, and even so, it was as though he could not feel it, the pain, standing perfectly still.

“you’re unbelievable” you yelled causing everyone to stop

“you couldn’t wait at least ONE DAY, the kings dying wish was for us to be a family and i truly thought we could be one family until 10 minutes when i noticed that you’re all just a bunch of fucking hypocrites” you say grabbing Helaena and storming out.

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tag list🏷️

@deadstarkblacksoul @rikidaily @amethystwonders11 @untitled75630 @instabull @rhaenyralvv @vampsites @countsmoon @hobiolli @1hyck

[anime-pencil-drawings]

The Paris Olympics and Homophobia

I just got into an argument with my family over this, so I am going to explain things a bit more elegantly on here.

My parents were super offended because of the Drag Queens posing for the last supper photo during the Olympics. They said it was disrespectful and they were tired of having things "shoved down our throats".

I asked how it was disrespectful, and why they thought it was disrespectful compared to other people/media doing it. They said it was all offensive (despite never having criticized anything else before), and they said it was making a mockery of Christianity. And I'm over here being like, how!? Literally nothing was disrespectful.

They were referencing a famous painting, which wasn't even how the real Last Supper would have looked like. Jesus and his followers were all young twenty-somethings, middle eastern, and Jewish, it would NOT have fucking looked like that.

They then said they were entitled to their opinions, and the problem with the 'woke' crowd is we demand to be present and respected while 'not respecting other people's opinion'.

If your opinion threatens my existence, and over all compassion and humanity, then yeah, I'm gonna argue it!

When I asked how it was shoving it down our throats, they said Drag Queens have nothing to do with the Olympics. And I just- tell me you never understood the point of the opening of the Olympics without telling me you never understood the point of the opening of the Olympics.

It's about art, and the hosting country's culture! What is France well known for? Fashion, which was present throughout the opening. Who is well known for their distinct and outlandish sense of fashion? Drag Queens and Kings! What is, arguably, the most popular form of expressive art of the modern day? DRAG!!

And minutes before, they were happily talking about how, when Britain hosted, they had Mr. Bean and James Bond. Talk about hypocritical! What in the fuck does Mr. Bean playing the piano have to do with sports? What does James Bond rendezvousing with the Queen have to do with sports? NOTHING! But because that stuff wasn't queer, they were a-okay with it.

My step-mother said we (the queer community) were purposely trying to piss off conservatives by having a child present in the show, which was 'pandering to their fears about drag queens'. HOW!? She said we know exactly how they would take it, but were still gonna cry when they got pissed at it. And what I wanna know is, why should we let conservatives' over reaching and fear mongering control us? My mom and sister were going on and on about we can't change their minds, SO WHY SHOULD WE PANDER TO THEM?? That girl wasn't being sexualized in ANY way shape or form. A big part of that fashion show was that people of all races, AGES, and physical abilities were represented. And children often go underrepresented! Non of the clothing on the Queens was sexual to begin with! It's not like she was around adults wearing lingerie, thongs and jock straps!

My step-mother also said not wanting things shoved down her throat does not make her homophobic, and she pointed out (as she always does when being homophobic) that she is friends with gay people and went to a gay wedding (she loves using that one). My sister then asked if telling racist jokes makes us racist. And, EXCUSE ME??

I obviously answered, yes, it does make you racist. My step-mother then said I was being racist by not respecting her opinion (mind you, she is a 100% Mexican woman, so she knows damn well what racism is). When I asked how that makes me racist, she said that I am not respecting her opinions, so that makes me racist. When I told her that, no, that is NOT racism (and yeah, I said it with attitude because she was being a bigoted dumbass), she proceeded to tell me 'fuck you' and if I was going to be woke know-it-all, then I could pack my bags and go live with my biological mother (my rapist :)(she likes to use that line a lot) and that no one was begging for me to stay.

She said I base all of my opinions on what I see on the internet, and like to argue, but don't know jack shit about life. She asked me if I thought I would last a day out there, and yeah! I think I would, considering I have a job, a phone, and coworkers who I don't think would mind helping me out. But I kept quiet because by this point I was done.

Overall, I hate this fucking dumbass family, and does ANYONE have any tips for getting out? I wanna get my GED but my dad says its better if I get my diploma (I'm homeschooled, so I have to stay with this woman ALL THE TIME) and I know schools will prefer a diploma, but I'm kinda at a breaking point here, and have been for a while

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

Philip came to us today. He heard I was sick and just wanted to stop by.

I took the opportunity to talk to him about Ana. I asked him why Ana wanted to make a false statement for him in court? Ana wants to pretend she’s Philip’s partner, so he can get custody of Annabelle.

To my surprise, P. never asked Ana to make a false statement for him. He also told me, that he & Ana were/are just friends, which Ana also said. But as it looked, my sister had some dates with one of P.’s lawyers, who was 10 years older! 😯😄

A little later, N., P. and I wanted to head out for dinner. So I went to change quickly. I was no longer than 5 minutes upstairs in the bedroom changing. The two probably thought that I would need longer? Because when I came back to them, they were talking about something I shouldn’t hear?....

Philip: I just - I've had a lot going on. Sometimes I wonder why I do all this? I’ve almost run out of money. Lawyers aren’t cheap and Isabella’s fucking parents use it to their advantage. I’m going to lose Annabelle.😞

Nico: You need money, dude?... She’s your little girl! You’ll get Annabelle back!!

Philip: Having a Baby is.... a never-ending challenge. At first, I didn’t want to believe that Annabelle's my kid. Now that Isabella’s parents have taken her away, I feel......broken. Taking care of her wasn't easy. Tbh.... I hated it! Why am I always worried about her or afraid of losing her? I just want Annabelle to have a caring home, a mother, but she probably never will... I have to get her out of there.

Nico: Whatever Annabelle needs, I'll help!

Philip: Thanks, dude.... It’s crazy we’re talking about our kids.

Nico: Yea. I’m having a son, that sounds.... so fucked up, man. 😟

Philip: A. looks cute with her belly. She's happy!.... I never really saw Isabella when she was pregnant. But she never looked cute or happy. She was just....pissed

Nico: A.'s super excited about the pregnancy. Yes, she looks really cute. So beautiful and she's damn hot. Constantly! 😏 That's.... a nice side effect of pregnancy?.. Sorry you missed that. 🫤

Philip: Yea, I missed a lot in that asspect. Nevertheless all too much I do not regret it. I do not think that Isabella & I-..... well, yk? Nah, kind of gross 😄 .... But yk, what I don’t understand? Your serenity about Daniel. Why hasn’t she divorced yet?

Nico: Trust me, I'm not relaxed. She went to him. She wanted him, so she explained it to me. That totally got me down.😞 But I did everything I could, to pull myself together. I don't wanna lose her. I almost forgot how it feels to have someone you really love. Still, I don’t hate D., honestly. He’s been through a lot of shit. He told me himself that he’s fucked up and can no longer. I also know why he took off. It's.... though.😞

Philip: No joke, you have to end this shit! She can't do it herself.

Nico: What should I do?.... I just hate to kick somebody when they're down. He lost everything! His best friend, his home, his marriage, all gone. For the latter, it's on me! I'm responsible for that. 🤦‍♂��

Philip: I still can’t believe that guy Dominick passed away... Horrible. ... Listen, if the divorce doesn’t go on, you have to acknowledge paternity. Official!

Nico: What do you mean? The Baby's mine! She knows that! Everyone knows. So???

Philip: As long as she’s married to Daniel, he’s the father of your child! You have to make this official, report to the authorities and clarify it or let them know. Also, worst case scenario: A. leaves you and goes back to Daniel. Imagine she forbids you to see your little one. You wouldn’t have any rights!

Nico: She would never do that to me! And Daniel, he wouldn’t pull a stunt like this! I talked to him about that! He wants to talk to A. again about the divorce, but he can’t be with her anymore. These were his words!

Philip: Why did she even go to him?

Nico: She saw him with someone else and..... Idk? She went nuts?That's what I got. I just can't believe she was gonna shag him. She's pregnant with my kid! 😠

Philip: Did she?

Nico: She wanted him. Bsut she couldn’t cheat and backed out. Maybe... she was mad at me?... I wasn’t entirely honest with her. I didn’t tell her who I met in Italy. I wanted to avoid unnecessary drama and we weren't together anyway.

Philip: The twins, huh?😏

Nico: Shut the hell up! It was nothing exciting, ok?

Philip: Sure.... You couldn’t say no, could you? Those girls were crazy!

Nico: I’m not into her! Those bitches overplayed it. Too much for me. All fake. Idk why I met her? Maybe I was mad at A., too. She stayed with Daniel. I-.... I wasn't sure anymore? 🤷‍♂️

Philip: It's okay, man. You did nothing wrong.

Nico: Try explaining that to her!... She doesn't trust me.

Philip: Do you trust her?

Nico: Strangely enough.... yes, I do! More than ever before.

Philip: Just be there for her & keep doing what you're doing. After a while she’ll forget this thing.

I was a little disappointed in Philip. Why didn't he talk to me about D.? And I would never forbid my son to see his Dad, even if I had stayed with D.! But he was right about the authorities. I’ll have trouble registering our Baby. Those damn officers thought Daniel was my Sons's Dad. Bcs after I married him, I took his surname. I'll explain this mess later, once my baby is born.

Back to P.! I didn’t want to start a fight with him. I just wanted to help Annabelle. Nevertheless, I let him know that some of his statements got me sad. Well, he apologized. He just didn’t understand why I still didn’t divorce Daniel. I wanted to, but Daniel hesitated. Anyway, D.'s gonna talk to me soon.

And I wasn’t really aware that I hurt Nico so much.🤦‍♀️ However, it was a mistake what I did! I had to make it up to N. I was really upset to hear how he felt. 😞😢

Previous/Next

[catierambles]

so I had a conversation with my mom. putting it under a Keep Reading because it touches on some subjects that might upset people

My mom called me crying yesterday saying that she had to leave a vacation with my nieces and their dad early because my eldest niece, Kaylynn, is turning into a carbon copy of her mother. Their mother who refuses to go to their track meets because she doesn't want to be bored. Who made my life a living hell growing up and told me to kill myself. Who none of us want anything to do with because of how much of a manipulative (but bad at it) rabid cunt she is. Who my parents completely disowned to the point where my mom gathered up every picture she had of her from baby onwards and burned them.

Apparently their mother has been telling Kaylynn that their grandma was a horrible mother and abused her and everything that's happened to her (Amanda) is her fault. It's bullshit. Amanda (their mom) takes absolutely no accountability for her own actions. It's all everyone else's fault, not hers.

My mom then asked me if she was a terrible mother and she told me to be honest. If you all know me, I have no problems with honesty if I believe the person needs to hear the truth. I won't lie to people, but as I've said many times before, I believe everyone should be honest, but there's a fine line between being an asshole and being honest and that is how you word things.

For example: If my room mate comes to me wearing a new dress or outfit and asks me how she looks, but it doesn't look good, I'm not going to tell her "You look like shit." I'm going to say "Not really your style, I'd go with something else." I still told her that I didn't think it looked good, but I wasn't an asshole about it.

Back to mom.

She asked me if she was a horrible mother and she told me to be honest. Now, in the past, whenever she asked me to be honest about something and then I was, I would get punished because I told her something she didn't actually want to hear. But I'm 1500miles away so fuck it.

I told her she wasn't terrible all the time. She had moments when she was a great mom, but there were a lot of moments when she wasn't. I told her that the reason why I hate asking for help, with anything, is because whenever I did I was yelled at, called stupid, and made to feel like an annoyance and a burden for asking.

Me: Hey, mom, what does this word mean?

Mom: OH MY GOD CATE JUST LOOK IT UP

She doesn't remember any of this.

I told her that she didn't want children. She wanted fully-formed mini-adults who she didn't have to raise and teach and guide because that was all done before, but she got children who she did have to put that effort into and it pissed her off.

My mom was physically abused when she was growing up, by her father and her step-father, beaten severely many times. She had to grow up and be an adult very quickly because that was expected of her as the eldest girl (my mom has 5 brothers and sisters, she's the oldest out of 3 girls, Wilhelm (Billy) is the oldest out of 3 boys). She wasn't allowed to be a child. So when she had children, she didn't know what to do so she fell back on how she was raised.

Now, before you reach for the pitchforks, my mom never laid a hand on us. That was my dads job But it's as if she thought that if she didn't hit us, she wasn't abusing us, but there are many different kinds of abuse. My mom was emotionally and mentally abusive. She was overbearing and overprotective. I didn't need anyone in my life, I just needed her. I didn't need friends, I just needed her. Then there were moments when I was honestly terrified of her. When she would scream at me over the little things until she was red in the face and I was crying, and then she would yell at me for "fake" crying.

My sister lied and said that I swore, she lied a lot to try to get me into trouble and it nearly always worked. My mom yelled at me to admit it, kept saying that I was lying when I said I didn't (because I didn't) and that would make her yell at me more for lying. It culminated in her pushing me to the ground. I told her she pushed me and she said "I didn't push you, you tripped." (gaslighting) My sister eventually fessed up that she only thought I swore and my mom dropped it. I never got an apology. I was 5.

Growing up, she would come into my room in the middle of the night to "check on me" but when she would step on something because my room was messy because I was a child, she would scream at me to wake up and make me clean my room. In the middle of night. Regardless if I had school the next day. This happened many times until she finally got sick of it and threw all my stuff away, ripping posters off the walls, throwing away books and stuffed animals. I tried to hide books in between my mattress and box spring so I would at least have something, my sister who was helping her found them, asked why I had books there and mom responded with "She's a slob, why wouldn't she have them there." She never stopped to think that maybe I was hiding them so they wouldn't get destroyed and why would I have to hide them to begin with.

When I was older and had a drivers license, she would ask me to go to the store, or do this or that, but it was okay if I told her no. If I did tell her no because I was tired from school or work, she would yell at me, calling me lazy and ungrateful, and then she would call my dad to tell him how lazy and ungrateful I was. I had the choice to say no, but god forbid I actually did, so I didn't really have a choice. I had the illusion of a choice.

When I told her that I was moving to Texas, she broke down into tears and begged me to stay because if I moved that far away, she wouldn't be able to visit me. I reminded her that when I was with my ex, living 15minutes away, she didn't visit me.

"But I could have!"

But you didn't.

"I'm not dying, mom, I'm just moving away."

"But it feels like you are!"

She tried to manipulate me into staying to spare her feelings, when being in that house with her was going to kill me. She wanted me to stay because she wanted someone to rely on her, when I haven't relied on her in years at that point. She tried to keep be close, but the more she tightened her grip, the more I pushed her away.

I left anyway because I needed to.

I told her all of this. Every last bit of it. Her response?

"I don't remember any of this."

"Well of course you don't, mom. For you it was Tuesday, for me it's a core memory."

"We were always such great friends when you were growing up."

"Yeah, when I wasn't terrified of you."

She had moments when she was honestly awesome, but then there were moments when she very much wasn't and I didn't think there was anything wrong with that because she wasn't horrible all the time, so that must be normal, right? Spoiler alert, no it isn't. It's not normal. You should never be terrified of your parents. You should never have to walk on eggshells around them for fear of them turning their anger on you. You shouldn't have to think about what you say to them and how you say it for every interaction because you know if you say it a certain way, you'll get screamed at.

Now before you say "Well maybe Amanda has a point." I want you to realize that I didn't turn out like she did. Nature vs Nurture. And also, Amanda was also incredibly abusive to me growing up and was one of my main tormentors (again, she told me to kill myself because no one would miss me anyway).

"Well, she was being bullied, so she bullied you. It's only natural."

Bullshit.

I was bullied. At home and at school and I never treated anyone how I was treated. I know what it's like so I make damn sure no one else feels that way because of me. I don't make other people suffer just because I suffered. I take accountability for my actions. If I fuck up, I own up to it and I make sure I don't do it again. With Amanda everything is everyone else's fault. She has never done anything wrong ever, never will, and if you say she has, it was someone else. No one else has ever experienced what she has in the history of the world and never will. She told our parents they didn't know what it was like to raise two girls and how difficult it was. I'm sorry, what? She said this to our parents who raised us (regardless of how) that they don't understand because they've never done it.

Amanda has some kind of psychopathy. She's malignantly narcissistic to the point where she hurts everyone around her to make everything all about her. She carefully crafts different personas depending on who she's talking to so she appears to be the best most wonderful person they've ever met in their entire life and when she's got their hooks in them and they're dependent on her, the real Amanda comes out.

She tries to manipulate people in her life, but again, she's bad at it, so it's pretty fucking easy to see through it if you know her. It's why we want nothing to do with her. It's why my parents disowned her. She fucks up and she tries to twist it around so it's actually someone else's fault and we should all hate them. They're the horrible person, not her, never her. She's perfect in every way, and if you try to say anything against her, you're evil and everyone should hate you too and she will try to get everyone to hate you.

But I digress

I told mom all of this (before the Amanda bit) and she thanked me for being honest with her. For not sugarcoating it. For straight up telling her "Yeah, you did your best, but your best was shit and it hurt us."

She asked me to forgive her, that she hoped that one day I would be able to forgive her for what she's done.

I'm not Amanda. I got down off that cross years ago, used the wood to build a bridge, and got over it.

I forgave her a long time ago and I told her that. She thanked me again, we talked for a few more minutes on some other things, and that was that.

If you made it this far, have a cookie.

[invested-in-your-future]

My two cents, but the lack of Ruby's thoughts and anger on Emerald and Mercury, the White Fang, and Adam, the man who ruined her dear sister's life which indirectly deteriorated their relationship, is really disappointing. Same with Raven.

(yet again IDK if show or fic so I'll answer both)

Within the show yeah it's a bigger issue with how non-reactive Ruby is overall - there are many instances where Ruby is within a scene where she has narrative reasons to react, but the writing doesn't allow her to. We don't have much on her thoughts beyond her being "vaguely distressed", which is a mistake.

Within the rewrite though, for me, Ruby is the type of person to fixate on specific aspects of her trauma - few at the time - to get "stuck" on a specific thought, specific regret - and replay it repeatedly in her mind.

She's on a journey to honor a fallen friend, surrounded by teammates of said friend, so thoughts of what happened to Pyrrha and Penny are "closer" for now - and so is Cinder. And Ruby hasn't even really dealt with Penny's fate yet.

She's holding onto the idea that she could possibly track Cinder down and that's what has kept her going - she's "keeping herself busy".

I don't think she even fully processed the scope of what had happened at this point and doesn't allow herself to - her mind has been going in loops dealing with deaths she had witnessed firsthand.

She's struggling to accept what happened to Pyrrha and what transpired with Roman, and that kind of information and emotion overload "bottlenecks" the rest. Only with events in Nemea - meeting Pyrrha's mother and everything else - does she let Pyrrha stop haunting her (although not completely).

Most of her thoughts jump back and forth between Pyrrha and Cinder till that point.

For example, she didn't really focus much on Neo until Neo actually became relevant. It took a confrontation for her to realize why Neo might be "a little bit" pissed with her.

That said, the one moment when she briefly lets herself spiral into her thoughts (before Nora stops her), she touches upon Emerald - so it is there. Not to mention - when something weird happens, her mind first jumps to the idea of someone creating illusions.

Emerald and Mercury will absolutely come up when the time is right. (I also didn't want to dilute the Pyrrha situation for now because making character's thoughts jump around too much can mess up the scene)

As for Raven and Adam - Ruby isn't really aware of the role they play - in her mind Raven is merely this vague image of a scary lady from her earliest memories and she doesn't even know she's involved now - she never got to see her in the present day, remember? Even on the train in V2, only Yang got to see her or connected the dots. And the only person Yang told about it was Qrow. I don't even think Ruby realizes how much Raven plagues Yang's thoughts.

Not to mention - Adam, I don't think anyone except for Yang and Blake even saw him there, and only Blake(and Yang, but only due to the context given and the situation they were in) could recognize him or know who did this to Yang.

Ruby also doesn't really have time to place blame onto others because she primarily blames herself for what happened to Yang - she wasn't there to prevent it, she wasn't there to help and she couldn't even comfort her after. For now, that takes priority in her mind.

She does have thoughts about White Fang, though. That will come up in due time.

[pb1tchgalore]

i don't understand why people take eating so fucking seriously ?? it's just never been that deep ever . it was Never that serious like what the fuck actually ?

tell me why while i'm at this stupid ass camp with my sisters and cousins and me , being seemingly the only one who cares about what she looks like and the wellness of my body , i'm skipping meals DUH bc i'm losing weight like everyone already fucking knows .

it's dinner time and i get small pieces of dinner but i give them to my cousins BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS FUCKING EATS WHAT I GIVE HER . she , like always , takes the food and starts yapping off her fuckin lips about how i'm not eating enough and didn't eat all day . lie number one , dumbass .

i did eat today , very much to my dismay . i had eggsbfoe breakfast , skipped lunch , and literally binged on a bag of chips and someone elses cookies like wtf is wrong w me ?

her hungry snitch ass is gonna call my sister over and tell on me . deadass , she told my older sister that i wasn't eating my food . while she sat there and chewed the chicken i put on her plate .

i can't fuckin eat it if it's down your throat already , you greedy fucking whore .

my sister , because she loves to play the mother role i swear , says in the loudest voice ever , "i will sit here and wait for you go finish that plate , i swear to God .

AND THEN my other cousin fixes her cracked lips to say to me , "this whole diet thing is corny ." ???? so i say , "stay fag if you want ."

AND EVERYONE LOOKS AT ME LIKE I SAID SOMETHING WRONG ??? ITS TRUE , SHE LOVES COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING FAT BUT WON'T EVER NOT EAT .

the other girls are looking over to our table and my sisters are pissing my off about how i only got sauce ( kinda proud ngl 🤭 ) , my cousins are in my ear about my dieting like they don't hate being fat , too . especially the bitch that snitched , her ass will cry about being fat all day but still run up for thirds .

please lmao

thanks for listening to me rant TEHEEH

[ambisweetiepie]

I want to talk about my dad for a little bit. There is a lot of triggering content here, read at your own risk.

My dad passed away on March 9th. My sisters, my mother, and I had all left my dad. For my Mom, it was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

I have been low contact with him.

When I was in high school, I was in a bad traffic accident while I was driving to school. I was put on a stretcher and taken via ambulance to the ER. They checked me over, and despite the severity of the wreck, I was okay. My mom came to get me and bring me home. I was of course in some shock, but she helped me calm down and got me laughing by the time I got home. Dad came out and saw us laughing, and yelled at me. He was pissed that I had wrecked his car. That morning when he had heard I was in an accident and taken to the ER, he just slept in and had mom take care of it.

I left kansas first and went to college.

One day my sister was watching tv, spending time with my mom, when my dad wanted to show her a video where something bad happened to a dog. He was torn up about the bad thing that happened to a dog. My sister didn't want to see the video. He insisted. But she didn't want to see a dog being hurt. So my dad attacked her, choking her. My mom had to pull him off of her.

My younger sister has a mental disability. He wanted her to mow the lawn, and she was trying to. She got overwhelmed and exhausted, so she stopped and went to sit on the porch for a second. He attacked her for that. I was so furious that I was so far away and unable to protect her.

He was on the board of child abuse prevention.

He taught Karate to children, and would hurt them. He would hurt them on purpose to teach them a lesson. Children were pulled out of his class.

He was a frightening person to live with. He would scream and argue with you. It didn't matter who was right and who was wrong. Your only choice is to either leave, or admit that you're wrong. It's the only way to protect yourself. In the morning he would be smiling and happy and pretend nothing happened. There would be no resolution.

The trauma response I have from growing up with him has cost me multiple jobs. I have severe rejection sensitive dysphoria. This makes sense because growing up, rejection meant I would be verbally attacked. So now when I am given negative feedback on a job, I can breakdown crying. If I am told I did something wrong, I will agree. I will not try and prove that I didn't do anything wrong, or that they were mistaken, or that it was someone else's fault. If I can't leave, admitting I am wrong is the only way to protect myself.

My dad was never happy. There was always something he could find to be angry about.

I got home after school at around 3:30. Dad would get home at 4. I shouldn't sit down and relax at all after getting home. I needed to go straight to doing the dishes. But sometimes I would sit down for a moment, and then I would hear him get home, and the garage door open, and I would panic.

Mom regrets not leaving him sooner. She feels like she failed us as a mother. But she was a victim too. He cheated on her 3 times. He complained about her constantly. He was every bit as abusive towards her as he was towards us. His family has fond memories of how we always had family get together at our house. But that was all my mom, he hated it. When she finally left him, I thought he would move on. But he just had a new thing to be angry and upset about. He never stopped trying to get my mom back. Mom has confided with me that she had to leave because it was either him or her. She was not clear on if she meant he would have killed her, or that she would have killed herself.

His family has had so much animosity for us. For leaving him. From his point of view, and his side of the story, we left him for nothing. What did he do wrong? If you try to explain something, he would say "that was one time!" and wouldn't believe that you left him for one thing he did once.

People had such nice things to say about him at his funeral.

I've had a hard time. Nowhere near as hard of a time as if I had lost my mom or one of my sisters. Not as hard as losing someone who was actually close to me.

How do you mourn someone like that? He was still my father. He will always be my dad. He loved his children. He would have killed us if we had stayed. He would have absolutely accidentally choked one of us to death. If mom wasn't there to pull him off of my sister, she may have died.

We had no proof, but we are all certain he sexually assaulted my older sister when she was a child. Memories rose up only a few years ago for her. Part of us could say that those aren't real memories. But none of us would. Of course we are going to believe her. It only makes sense that he would have done that. It lines up.

For the past 5-10 years I've been low contact with him. He was an old man in detererating health because he didn't take care of himself. He did drugs and ate unhealthy food. He is the kind of person who has always believed his own lies. So he fully believed we up and left him for no reason. That we kicked him out when he visited on Christmas for no reason.

Most of my family was no-contact with him.

Before my sister had those memories of him, a certain cycle happened multiple time. She would be no contact. She would be low contact. She would believe he was better. She would allow herself to have a relationship with him again, and open her heart to him. He would hurt her. She would go no contact. He would be outraged and not understand why suddenly she went no contact.

I talked to him rarely, and lied to him constantly. "No, I don't know why everyone stopped talking to you beginning a few years ago. No, I do not talk to my siblings. I talk to you rarely on the phone, because that's the way I am. I barely talk to anyone on the phone. My older sister? No, we had a falling out and so I do not know her address." I steered the conversations away from them and kept it surface level.

If I cut him off, if we had all cut him off. He would have come out in person. He had my address. He had my younger sister's address.

If I just talk to him lightly, low contact, here and there. It was a balancing act, but it kept me safe, and protected his old man emotions.

My older sister was upset when he died, because he never admited any fault. He never apologized.

Of course he didn't, he was never mentally well. He never understood he was at any fault. That was something she would have never gotten.

I don't have anywhere I was going with this. I just needed to write things down.

The day he died was my older sister's birthday. In a way, it was fitting.