#I didn't think I would be focusing on this so hard

[mononijikayu]

thinking about how ryomen sukuna husband, marin the dog's dad, national athelete, pro-volleyball player is now stuck in this conundrum of a situation.

if he was being honest, he didn't even know how the national japanese team social media manager got him to do this. maybe it was because they bribed him with his favorite protein shake. maybe it was because they promised to stop bugging him.

but if he admit that they were the things that got him, it would be a lie. no, it was all the hd pictures of you from all the previous games these past season.

he didn't know they had existed since now. but because they had them, he had to get it. he had to get those really pretty pictures of you and keep it for only him.

ryomen sukuna was already regretting saying yes to the lie detector segment. he’d done interviews before for everything and not once has he ever been nervous.

after games, in locker rooms, on buses that smelled like sweat and glory. even when he was exhausted and ragged in the bones and just wanted to go home and sleep hugging you, he'd do it. even if it was a hassle.

but this situation was different. he was terrified. why shouldn't he be terrified? this was a whole different thing and people just knew it. everything about this was not something he was used to.

this was wires, blinking lights, a host who smiled like he knew too much, and a chair that felt suspiciously like it belonged in an interrogation room.

still, he looked good and cool.

sleeves rolled just enough.

the usual cocky slouch.

he had to fake it till he made it.

“all set?” the the social media manager asked, grinning.

sukuna shrugged. “unless this thing shocks me when i lie, yeah.”

they started easy. and he liked that. is your hair naturally pink? no. (duh.) do you think you’re the best player on the national team? yes. (double duh.)

each answer got a soft, obedient beep. truth. he was cruising. smooth. untouchable. until the host pulled a new card. this one looked different. evil, even. ryomen sukuna could sense it. he could feel it in his bones.

“sukuna-san, here's your next question.” the social media manager said slowly, way too pleased with himself, “is it true that when you were newly eighteen, you and your now-wife, [name]-san, had a pregnancy scare… and her dad almost murdered you for it?”

sukuna blinked. once. twice. “…i’m sorry. what?”

someone behind the camera snorted. sukuna’s eyes narrowed. and then, he heard it. he could feel his eye twitch all the sudden. your laugh. soft, familiar, and 100% guilty.

his jaw dropped. “oh my god. you’re here.”

you didn’t even try to deny it at all. i mean, this was the first time in a long while you'd gotten to be ridiculous. especially now that you've come back to work and had your hectic schedule again.

you always took the opportunity when it was offered. so, you sat somewhere off to the side and let yourself be silly. you laughed once again when you heard him curse.

he groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “you really sent that in? seriously?”

the host was trying very hard not to lose it.

“answer the question, sukuna-san!"

he sighed. long-suffering. dramatic.

“…fine. yeah. it’s true.”

beep. truth.

and just like that, the flashback hit him like a football to the face. it happend when you were teenagers, last year of high school. nothing even happened back then. it was just hanging out most of the time.

well, there was the occassional making out. but even when it went somewhere, you both stopped. and even when you wanted to, sukuna was the one to stop it all.

after all, he didn't want to ruin your future. you wanted to be an astrophysicist. you had a dream and he wanted you to focus on that. as much as he focused on volleyball.

so that day, it was all too different. and he could feel it in the air. you were on his massive bed, staring at your phone like it owed you an explanation.

sukuna walked in, unwrapping a sandwich, and you just… said it. “my love, i’m ten days late.”

he dropped the sandwich. “what do you mean, ten days late?”

“i mean what i said, my love. i'm late.” you said calmly, yawning in between. “ten. days. late. no period. no signs. my uterus is a cryptid.”

sukuna looked like he aged ten years on the spot. "w-what do you mean? w-we.... we didn't do anything just yet—"

"well i'm not sure!" you whispered to him. "i mean, when on my birthday, we both went and drank together quite a bit and—"

"yeah but i don't remember anything happening!" he says, choking as his red turned flushed. he stops and then his eyes go wide. "wait....i blacked out right?"

"yeah and maybe......" you hide your face in your hands, feeling like you were going to cry.

“okay. okay. don’t panic.” he said, immediately panicking. “we’ll go to a clinic. or a pharmacy. or maybe time travel. can we still time travel?”

you were surprisingly calm, at least from the standards usually had on pregnancy reactions. ryomen sukuna, on the other hand, looked like he was about to faint at the mere thought of diapers and daycare. but the worst part wasn’t the scare.

it was doing the impossible. it was telling your dad about everything. your ex-military, early-rising,suspicious-of-every-boy-on-earth dad, without him getting mad.

you told him while your poor unfortunate boyfriend was in the house. well, he thought that it was appropriate. even if he was shitting himself.

he was sitting politely in the living room with a mug of tea when you broke the news. your dad turned and just stared at sukuna. no yelling. no questions.

just pure, soul-piercing silence. for five whole minutes. ryomen sukuna sat frozen, gripping the mug like it was a grenade. it might be one of the worst days of his life.

you tried to ease the tension. “it’s probably just stress! we’re being responsible! we’re not even sure—”

your dad stood up. slowly. like an ancient god rising to smite. sukuna stood too. immediately. like his legs were possessed. your boyfriend, the former troublemaker and fist slammer, looked scared for the first time in his life.

“s-sir, respectfully, we're not....we're not even sure.” he blurted, voice cracking, “but i can swear to you that i respect your daughter. i-i swear....i'm going to take responsibility."

you covered your face all througout. ryomen sukuna, like years before, started mumbling about how from the very beginning, he's willing to stand up for you and be a father if you were pregnant. it was quite a thing.

in the end, you had nothing to worry about. after you took multiple tests, you were not pregnant. and a few days later, sukuna remembered what happened (likely out of fear of your father) and told you that you did not in fact make love.

back in the studio, ryomen sukuna shook his head like he was still recovering. he sighed as he looked at you. you were smiling at him giving him a thumbs up.

“i had nightmares about that stare for months!” he said. “every time her dad looked at me when i came by the house, i thought he was imagining my funeral arrangements.”

you laughed again off-camera, totally unapologetic. you were really lucky you were cute. he really couldn't get mad. not at you. not even once. he purses his lips.

“and the kicker?” sukuna said, leaning forward with a dry laugh. “she wasn’t even pregnant! just exam week stress. i almost died for nothing.”

he pointed toward where you were standing. “you’re evil.”

beep. truth.

a little while later, ryomen sukuna did get the hd pictures of you in a real big envelope. later, it was added to the pictures of you in his office. and all of that made him sigh, more fondly than ever before. life was good.

"i wonder what it would look like...." he mused to himself. "when we have kids too....."

"my love, dinner's ready!"

he smiles. "i'm coming!"

[freesoul-07-blog]

Pick a Pac: Tarot 💗

Hi lovelies! This was originally suppose to be a four pile reading. However, the cards I got for the final pile lowkey gave vibe of 2nd pile of the last pac I did.

And honestly, I didn't feel like interpreting the cards again. Maybe the the collective needs to hear new messages for a change? 🙆‍♀️ If not, your crush just want us to leave them alone lol. And I respect that.

Your crush's current feelings for you 👀💥💦

How do you choose your pile? Take a deep breathe and meditate on these images. And whichever picture draws your attention the most is your pile. Tho feel free to pick more than one pile, it may have additional messages.

Pile One

Hi everyone, so right now I feel your person is working hard. They are likely focused on making money, learning new skills, & pretty much anything that would help them grow and succeed. Page generally represent new energy / early stages ... so i won't be surprise if they recently started working. Or planning on building a business. Or even trying to ground themself in reality. However, I'm also seeing a little backward energy with image of the card, as in, they are moving ahead, but not completely over the past. So that was the second card i had pulled out, but it gives off very present energy to me forcing me to interpret it first. Now, looking at the first card, I'm definitely sensing some kind of missed opportunity that this person is thinking about. Maybe they were a little heartbroken with the bloodstains. I can see there are three cups that fell and there is a lot of blood spilling. It also gives me a little three of cups energy. Okay, so I'm getting a message here that your crush and you likely did not have a concrete connection. Maybe the feelings were not even expressed here? Whatever your situation is, this person is feeling the loss of this connection. A opportunity that never truly lifted off the ground.

As I said, they're working on something, building a career maybe, but something happened recently that tug a reunion string in their heart. Maybe they ran into you accidentally? Maybe you texted? Maybe someone mentioned you? Either way, that caught them thinking about the missed opportunity. Thinking about what was years back, or months back, or weeks back, take how it resonates. I'm also seeing that with the blood spilling out of the three of cups, I'm seeing it's just fresh, somewhere they did not expect for them to still feel this way. Whatever the feelings are, I guess it resurfaced, and then they realized that, okay, maybe I still feel something, yeah, again, it also giving like a grass is greener on the other side energy, to an extent. What I'm feeling is, they are so caught up in this five of cups, three of cups energy, they're not seeing the two of cups behind them, like they think missed opportunity, they're thinking about their own resurfacing feelings and maybe like crushing on you again, that they're not noticing that maybe this connection is mutual, maybe you also feel this way, maybe you are also experiencing the same emotions.

I think this pile is mine, because tell me why am I channeling the messages that is resonating so much, okay. With the presence of three of swords here, I'm seeing this situation was likely painful for them at first. Maybe when they first liked you, when they first had feelings for you, before this reunion, it was strong & intense. I feel they were really hurt by something.

Maybe they had communicated about it for some of you.

I'm getting right now they are in a place that they are probably thinking about the pain as well, what they had experienced. They are in their mind thinking about how the situation could also go wrong, you know, like if they were to take a step towards you, if they want to, if they are considering that, then it might turn into something really heartbroken for them. And there is potential of despair for them. Regardless, with the communication energy here, they might be thinking about approaching you. There is a lot of thinking here. They're considering their emotions, they're considering their pain, they're considering the potential pain that possibly come if they try to rekindle something or if they try to initiate something. That's what I'm getting.

Another scenario I am getting is maybe they are in a relationship or situation that is no longer serving them. Maybe an ex, maybe a complicated relationship, family, anything that they are struggling with. Maybe they are in a process of letting go. Trying to heal and self reflect. It could be related to you, but it could be related to something else as well. I was going to stop the reading here, but I ended up pulling few more cards to understand what is going on. And those cards did not want to come out, so I feel like they are in a very guarded energy. So let's see what is trying to come now.I am getting that they are thinking about some kind of new beginning with you. They are feeling it, that they are feeling some kind of spark when it comes to you.

And I always associate this card with Universe giving you an opportunity, a new beginning. So I feel that this is fated to an extent for some of you. I feel Universe has some play in it, you know. Season is changing. And I feel this specific connection is probably there for both of you to step up into your better self.

I am getting that maybe some of you are not paying attention to yourself and rotting in bed and just neglecting yourself or your health or general aspects of life. And maybe this connection, oh wait, I'm probably channeling this person's energy as well. So take it however it resonates. For some of you, your crush is likely not doing well. Not paying too much attention to them. Having a bit of a glow down. And maybe this is Universe's way of, you know, pushing them to have their game up, to pay attention to themselves, trying to impress you so that, you know, this connection grows into something more. That's what I'm getting. This is definitely some kind of divine intervention. And the reason I feel this way again is because even I was feeling this way. I'm like, I was very much in my single era, not caring, you know it's been so many months since I last went on a date or had feelings for someone. So I was such in a chill space and suddenly I ran into this person and we had a little K-drama moment and I'm just like, bro, I'm not even feeling my best right now. And suddenly I feel like that Demi Lovato song: But you ... make me wanna act like a girl. Paint my nails and wear high heels. I don't remember, I think Heart Attack is the song's name, so it might be relevant to some of you.

But I feel right now is a moment that it's kind of a shift in your crush's personality, maybe for you as well, where both of you are urged to take care of yourself and be best. And yeah, be attractive, bro, you're attractive. Step into that energy. I'm also getting that one or both of you are not in a place to be in a relationship or start any kind of situation. I saw a meme early in the morning that when I'm enjoying my single era and suddenly I start liking someone. Bro, what the fuck? I don't want to like you. Something like that. And I feel maybe it's one of those energies. One or both of you are feeling that it's a very unrequited situation. That person may think that you don't like them. They also look at your situation with a very watery energy. Maybe they are a water sign, pisces specifically. I feel it's very pure, but at the same time kind of unrealistic. You guys might be similar, you know.

For some of you, you both might have similar traits, similar feelings I'm getting, because this person kind of looks at you in a way that, also maybe you're like smaller than this person and they like that thing about you. I'm seeing this person with a soft smile looking at you and they feel like you are this one true love. But one true love is like a very intense emotion, right? And since this card was in a reverse, I feel they do have this one true love feelings for you but keep it hidden. I also feel for some of you, this is a very back and forth energy, may have been happening for years on end, maybe 10 years, maybe 5 years, take how it resonates, but I feel after all this time, this person looks at you in a very like a soft way. And, matter fact, the Ed Sheeran is also coming through. Like, we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was. Like, maybe this person likes you, or liked you, without knowing why. You know, it's just like how magnets are? They are just drawn towards each other. And I'm not getting opposite energy, I'm getting very similar vibes from both of you. You guys are likely similar to each other, but the way they look at you is very original, you know?

For example, you know how Ariana Grande has so many clones? So, I feel like they look at you as this OG thing, and kind of morphing into you. Like, there is similarity between you both, but at the same time, they are kind of taking on your traits without realising or deliberately for some of you. #1 fan award goes to 🫠🫶

However, irrespective of these feelings, it's very internal.

They're not doing anything about it. They want to. I can feel it. But at the same time, they're not able to understand why they are so drawn to you.I'm also feeling that they might not be in a best emotional state. They might have mood swings. Yeah, a little emotional regulation is out of place here. I also feel like they look at you in a very high light, bro. Like you are this star person (as I mentioned already) and when it comes to you their emotions just runs high and they can't stop thinking. Like they just feel a lot when it comes to you. You quite literally are a celebrity in their eyes maybe. Yeah, and I feel there is some kind of past connection or some kind of forbiddenness to you. Like there is just yearning and yearning and yearning but nothing keeps happening. Nothing happens here.

I'm also sensing they see hope with you oh my god another song is coming through i don't know if you guys know clinton kane but there is a song called i think I'm in love and this specific line i heard "but with you i see hope again" ... i feel they feel that about you oh my gosh this is such a beautiful energy i'm dying. I'm also sensing that they are probably in a healing phase right now. They are experiencing a sense of composure, calmness. Maybe with the Fool card in reverse earlier, I feel they are coming out of it. They're recognizing their traits that are not really serving them. Again, there was some other card that spoke about the same thing. They're realizing the things that cause them pain, things about the relationship that is not good for them. And they're coming like, wow, maybe this is my wish fulfillment.

Maybe this is the reward for all the work I have done so far.They have this internal knowing about you. You know, they just feel drawn to you and they just feel this kind of connection, spiritual even, with you. Deep down they just feel very hopeful with you. And they feel like maybe there is a chance this time. "And darling, this is more than anything I've felt before you're everything." You should listen to that Clinton Kane's song, it's very beautiful. It kind of ties to Perfect by Ed Sheeran also. Similar message I'm getting actually.Yeah, I also feel that they feels nervous around you, but kind of playing it cool at the same time.Your crush likely feels that you're very mysterious. They look at you as their other half. You know, they just feel like you guys fit. They just feel like you guys are... kind of meant to be. In some way or another. They just have this deep feeling about it. Even if it does not work... or it's not working out... or it did not work out. I'm seeing this fruit, pomegranate. I don't know what it means. But I guess it means sweet. It means very... Fruity.

I'm not getting sexual vibes necessarily. But it might resonate with some of you so feel free to take it. They also intuitively feel that there is more you than what's visible. They definitely see you as very spiritual. Very wise. Very intellectual. So at this moment, they are just like waiting and trying to figure out what to do about this situation. They might make subtle moves without making it too obvious. They might create opportunities for you two to run into each other. I feel like there would be subtle moves from this person. Maybe they would message you. Or maybe they would say something on their Instagram, if you guys are connected on social media. There would be some kind of subtle way of showing their feelings.

With this moon energy, they also think that you're very secretive, like they don't understand what you feel, what you think. However, when it comes to intuition, they most certainly pick up some cues about you. I don't know, Vernon from 17 pop up into my mind, so maybe your person's personality is like him. They could be very logical, very practical, I know Vernon is T, so maybe your, crush has very logical, practical side to them. Now, I'm also seeing that this person thinks that you have been through some things. They can look at you somewhere they feel like you have experienced things that have really blindsided you, that really cut you in pieces that you don't talk about, that have had you distancing yourself from people, possibly not taking care of yourself.

Maybe they feel that you are trapped in some way. If that does not resonate, then I feel it's just, there is some kind of trapped, unsure, uncertain energy here that this person feels. Maybe they are going through something in their life that makes them feel this way, but since we are doing a reading in context to how they feel about you, I feel maybe they look at you in this way, to an extent. In respect of these feelings, I feel they crave some kind of security in relationship. So, if you guys want to come together, they might experience some possessiveness, a sense of wanting control over what you are doing, what you are feeling. So, there is a warning here. Another thing I am getting is, I have heard this thing also. You should not date people who has a history of liking you.

For example, if someone has liked you for a while, when you start dating them, they are actually dating you with this image of you in their mind that they like. So, when you don't play the part as how they have imagined you, they might not like it. They might not know how to deal with it. I don't know if this makes sense, but I do feel it's important to date people who like you for who you are and not what they think you are. I feel right now their foundation of how they perceive you is very... past Sense. It keeps giving very this thing did not work out way, lost opportunity, reluctance to getting into something, not mutual, etc. You know it's very one-sided energy and that makes them try to control the narrative in a way. If this is not about control then maybe they think that you're focused on your work, your materialism, your structure. However that resonates with you.

So that's it for your pile. I hope you liked it. Comment down below if it resonated. Your comments really help.

Pile Two

Your crush sees you as someone with a tough exterior. I know the man is holding a globe but it looked like a coconut to me. Maybe at one point you were his whole world too and now you're just ... you. Someone they used to know. Someone they still still hold a space for deep inside them. I also thought of "you used to have a face like a magazine, now you look like anyone" ~ change of heart by 1975

There’s something about you that feels heavy. Maybe you’ve been through a lot? Maybe they know parts of your past, or maybe it’s just the vibe you carry... but regardless, it makes them stop and think if they’re even ready to walk this path with you. (As I am channeling this message I keep thing about my ex love. The person I was hopelessly in love with & experienced immense pain with. So I do feel, this could be twin flame connection too)

For some, you both could’ve had an ending already & currently not on speaking terms. However, even if it wasn’t something between you two directly, there’s this “dark night of the soul” kind of energy hanging in the air. And if I am being honest, they don’t feel super elated when it comes to you. And it’s not because you aren’t special, it’s just... heavy. They might look at you as someone who struggles with self-worth. Like you’ve been feeling lost lately, unsure what direction to go in. And maybe, in that haze, you did something impulsive and that’s part of why things are the way they are now. If not you, then them. They might be in that confused space themselves. Not knowing how to come forward. Not knowing if they even can.

Before I even pulled the cards, I felt freaky energy around this pile. So for some of you, this was a physical thing. A very hot, very strong attraction that fizzled or never fully bloomed. Could be karmic. Could be one of those soulmates who come in just to mess everything up so you learn how to choose yourself. And the crazy part? They might feel that way too. Like you’re here to trigger something in them. That’s why this connection feels so mirrored.

Right now, from where their feelings are for you, everything’s stagnant. And they kind of want to keep it that way. Not because they don’t care, but because they’re not ready to open up emotionally. They do look at you as someone who challenges the norm. Maybe you did something that shocked them. Maybe you stood up for something. Maybe you’re queer. Maybe you live in a way that’s loud and honest and unapologetic. Whatever it is, it made them stop and look. Lowkey, they’re impressed.

Even if they act like they’re not.

You’ve got that “I do what I want, my life my rules, you only live once” kind of vibe and it fascinate(d) them. You might’ve even torn their mask off, seen parts of them that no one else gets to see. I don’t think they were ready for that. Also, since the start of this pile, there’s been this hip-thrusting melody stuck in my head. And I’ve been trying so hard to remember the lyrics but all I see is blurry dance moves with guy. So I feel like... this was very sexual for them. Especially in the beginning. And they’ve tried to suppress it. Maybe it was an entanglement, a one-time thing. But it wasn’t forgettable. It meant something. Even if they pretended it didn’t.

For some of you, this person might’ve been a player. But you? You didn’t feel like just another body. You cracked them open. You shook something loose. You made them rethink things. Cowboy Like Me by Taylor Swift could be relevant here. Pile 2... I don’t know. The energy in this reading felt short. Rushed. Like your person didn’t want to sit in these emotions. Like they wanted to get it over with.

So, I'll end your reading now. Let me know in the comments if it resonated. See you in the next one.

Edit: Okay, so I had completed your reading this evening but woke up in the middle of the night with a jolt of panic. I saw someone. & immediately I started thinking about your pile throughout the time I was half awake. I feel your person is still haunted by your memory. In the waking life, they got nothing much to say but subconsciously they are kinda scared of you & possibly what they feel for you. I can hear hanbin's verse from into the i-land. Another song that's coming through is parents by yungblud. This genuinely giving LGBT connection for some of you. When I turned on my phone to channel this message, I had to put my device on dnd cause they were too many messages. So I do feel they don't like facing the downloads that they get about you. I won't be surprise if you even appear in their dreams cause I was dreaming when I woke up. I don't remember anything about it tho. This is actually a theme of your reading... not remembering shit. Whatever went down between you two, your crush really got you buried deeper in their subconscious & hate reminiscing about you in physical world.

Edit 2: Okay. I finally found the forgotten song. The line that has been stuck in my mind was "pool full of liquor & you're dive in it" ... & as I had got the energy from this reading, this song is about get drunk , smashing, and if I'm being honest I thought of peak Justin Bieber. Whoever your crush is, on surface they are living their life, hitting clubs, meeting important people, smashing it... but lowkey I'm getting a violating energy. Maybe to an extent it's happening consensually & in fun way but there is a dark twist to it as well. Maybe they are spiraling and indulging into anything and everything that would keep them floating on surface. It could be your energy as well, so please take how it resonates. (Song: po up drank Lloyd)

You may resonate with the original track as well:

I double checked into the i-land and the verse I heard was "chingu ya nanun da" & turns out Hanbin's line was actually "you're another me, I'm another you" & that really confirms the mirroring energy of this reading so far. There's also repeating message of "let's run for our life" & honestly, I am genuinely concerned about you my pile two.

Idk if it's relevant to you but when I went back to sleep again, I woke up with a dream again.

Me and this specific person were at a closed room gathering where the organisers were sharing some knowledge, felt like they were teaching some practice. The person I was familiar with had some injury and had to walk with those support sticks. Now, long story short, the organisers that beating the people there ... me, this person & few more were not touched cause we didn't disobey them, but remaining folks got beaten to a point, one of them peed their pants and almost fainted. They asked us to leave, so I left thinking this person would follow me. I forgot about his injury and waited downstairs. After 5-7 mins I went back up to check why he is not coming and then I properly saw he is not able to walk, his leg is injured. Now, the bad guy came out of nowhere and asked us, why are you still here so started making excuses but something shifts as he starts behaving creepy with me. Now, suddenly I have no memory of the injured guy. All I thought in this moment, we have to escape, but he cannot run, but again, the guy is not really near me. Escaping felt next to impossible because the area is their and we can get found in snap of the fingers. So, I was just thinking of the plan. Again blur after that, and suddenly I am on road, with creepy people in car where I thought I'll get help. I passed it and sought help somewhere.

End of the dream.

I am getting very sticky, very dark energy from this pile. I tried to provide as much information I could. Maybe the dream will resonate with some of you. Please take care 🤍 Let me know, if it resonated. I'll possibly to another reading for your specific pile to gain more information if you want.

Pile Three

Right of the bat, I feel your person admires your strength. Do you have anger issues by any chance??? Maybe your crush has been this soft/ nurturing presence in your life who has seen you crashing. Lashing out. And gently hold you through the episode. You have very fiery energy to you (could be a leo) & your person is either a water sign or taurus/ libra placements. Very gentle & intuitive energy I am getting from your person. They do have mother like feelings for you. Naturally protective. They may have witness you having some kinda transformation & maybe you're in a process of breaking some cycle. Maybe a loop that you cannot / couldn't seem to get out of. They look at you with someone who has too much going on. Too many people tugging at your energy. Maybe you're fighting with multiple people all at once. You could be in a bad unfulfilling situation that this person is able to see.

The energy I am getting is "Fighting in only your army. Frontlines, don't you ignore me. I'm the best thing at this part. (You're losin' me by Taylor)" ...I really feel you're experiencing a fall put of a relationship. Could be platonic, could be career wise. Something that got you crumbling and this person has very outsider energy as they are witnessing it. It also giving "And you passed right by I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides" ~ long story short Taylor Swift

& strangely enough the line before this was "Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep" & it's 2.45 am as I doing this reading. I had woken up scared. So maybe for some of you, pile two would resonate with as well. They also see you as someone who super grounded & stable as far as your finances are concerned. But somehow the image on the card is giving lonely energy. So, I don't think they can see through how despite the composure, despite someone who comes across with immense self trust, rooted in practicality & knows how make / sustain abundance ... you are deep down defeated. Like you literally won a battle but at what cost??? It's reminding me of that Taylor's speech where she won too many awards during 1989 era yet at the end of the day she had no one to share that happiness with. On paper you have everything, but you still feel hollow. You are likely burned out too.

Your person can see you as someone who is facing challenges but refusing to learn from the past patterns. You're too stubborn right now. Maybe what you have experienced has made you skeptical of things and you no longer want to rely on anyone. Maybe you lost people, maybe someone closer to you unalive themself too. I see that you have this alternate scenario in your mind where you often think about this person where there is no pain. No pushbacks. Just laughter. Maybe you have experienced people who would enter and leave your life as they please and it got your heart blocked. You no longer want to love anyone. It's giving eight by iu ft suga. Your person wants you to come out of that energy and focus on what's still here. Maybe them? They want you to assess the way you're living life. You seek help (cause they want to help you). They want you to celebrate small moments of victories. And push through the challenges. You're one survivor pile 3. I am so proud of you. Your person can definitely see that your burden by your past that you're letting go of the toxic mindset.

For some of you, you could be traveling to take a break as well. You may have a lot on your mind, & this person wants nothing more than to unload your burden. They want to tend to your injured adult self and pamper your inner child. They want to take you away from all this pain, just like the man on the boat taking the woman & child away. Maybe it's a long journey. But your person wants you to drop the sword now. They want you to stop fighting all alone on battlefield. They are here now. Let them take care of things. They are manifesting a new beginning with you. They want you to stop hesitating & embrace what you have right now. Live in the moment with them, will you? Angel baby is significant here as well ... except you're Troye Siwan.

Having said that, they are acknowledging that you're not in the best emotional situation right now. Your inner world is a mess and you're liking crashing big time, no wonder we started the pile with the same energy. They really want you to work on your emotional regulation. How can they help you if you don't wanna help yourself? So please step up into your authenticity & approach your situation with discernment. If you've been jumping to conclusions without any facts, then please change that. So that's it for your reading my pile three. If this pac resonated with you, please let me know in the comments below.

I am sending you so much love 💞💫 See you.

[cherie-doll]

Think about CoD guys getting knocked out on the battlefield and when they wake up, the medic they have a crush on is carrying them out of the field back to the chopper. Perhaps princess style

Does it make sense? No. Is it safe? Also no. But it is funny

bet you medic searched up and read "how to carry a girl: the most romantic methods" on wikihow and decided to use it on the battlefield

=͟͟͞♡ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

COD Men Getting Carried Princess Style

:‹ Last thing Price remembered doing was reporting his status over radio before hearing the panicked voices of Laswell and the others. He knew he was in good hands with his teammates but he didn't expect to see your face when he woke up. He also did not expect you to be carrying him, and he hadn't even realized until he was finally able to tear his eyes away from your face and see your arms and hands around his body. He doesn't know whether to thank or curse Laswell for sending you out to pick him up.

:‹ Simon waking up in a state of confusion. Because no one has been able to carry him with this much ease, especially not in this princess style. Usually he gets the rough treatment of getting thrown over a shoulder and that's it. But you're even careful to make sure he's not being rocked too hard while you're holding him. He's far too dazed to say or do anything much so he just lets it happen. Doesn't say or ask anything as you rush to treat him, knowing you'll be too focused. Won't talk or bring it up. ever. You're both taking this to the grave.

:‹ For Johnny it's heaven, just don't let the others see him getting carried out like this it'll wound his pride. He'll be bragging about it later like: "Oh you got treated by [medic]? Ha, well I got-" and he pauses there because suddenly his face has gone red and he doesn't know if it's worth sacrificing his pride and dignity just to rub it in someone else's face that he got carried by THE hot medic everyone likes so therefore he's winning in life but at what cost??

:‹ Kyle going "funny seeing you here" as if he had casually run into you at the grocery store and not in the middle of the battlefield. This guy is trying to flirt with you and have some casual conversation while you're trying to keep his wounds from gushing blood out. You don't know whether he's already losing his mind from the injuries he got or if he's trying to distract himself from the pain because this isn't like him. But maybe him being on the verge of going out again makes him say weird things. He won't remember this after medication.

:‹ Roach passing out thinking they're gonna forget him and accidentally leave him out here without receiving medical assistance until he wakes up and it's like an angel (you) has come to save him. He's impressed that you're not letting any obstacles stop you from running at a full sprint to the chopper with him in your arms. He's even going to bring it together by wrapping his arms around your neck to make sure he doesn't fall and staying still. Honestly, he liked it a little too much, so watch out or smth idk.

:‹ Alejandro getting a jump scare when he sees you carrying him. This was the last place he expected to see you. He absolutely hates getting any kind of coddling done, especially not in front of others. Even if you try telling him that no one even noticed you carrying him out like a knight protecting their princess because everyone else was busy fighting for their survival but he won't have any of it. Would demand you put him down right then and there in the bare dirt but you simply roll your eyes and ignore him.

:‹ Rodolfo being carried like the princess he is isn't a want it's a NEED. Had he been awake and conscious when you ran out to get him, he would have tried convincing you to leave him for his safety. He'd rather have waited for another teammate to reach him rather than you endanger yourself dodging bullets just to get to him. Even when he was knocked out did he look peaceful. He'd probably just be confused as to why you're carrying him but wouldn't protest or try to get out of your arms until you set him down.

:‹ Phillip knew he could always count on his Shadows to save his hide when shit happened. And he knew the attractive medic back at the base would be more than willing to treat him. He couldn't wait to see that face of yours when he got back, oh the things he'd tell you about his latest operation (the little information he could reveal). But he wasn't expecting to wake up so close to you, or at least not like this, when he's all battered, rugged and bruised. He can already picture his Shadows snickering if they ever saw him like this and he's really hoping they're busy with their tasks instead. It's strange to you how quiet he's gotten all of a sudden until you set him down and AFTER he ensures its only the two of you he starts trying to flirt as you roll your eyes at him.

:‹ Makarov didn't think anyone would come and get him out of the mess he had created. There was so much debris and chaos around him that even he had a difficult time thinking about how to get out of this one. Just as his vision started to blur and fade away, he saw you walking towards him. He hadn't actually expected to need you to do your job as medic and treat his wounds, much less be carried as he was told later on. He isn't annoyed not even in the slightest and if anything is sort of 'touched'? that you carried him from the battlefield all bloody to the helicopter. He might have gotten an idea and request you continue doing this, but no way are you doing that again, you swear you must've pulled a muscle or something.

:‹ Keegan is cursing himself as he lies bleeding and hurt in a building that could collapse at any moment for letting his mind wander for one second and get distracted. Of course his mind just HAD to betray him and think of you just because he noticed how unusually pretty the sky was. So is it a coincidence that he wakes up to find himself in your arms? You feel his intense stare but you don't allow yourself to look down. Even as he feels rumbling around him, pain numbing his senses, and the ear-splitting sounds of war, he doesn't let it distract him enough to tear his eyes away from you and the untainted sky that served as a backdrop.

:‹ König's secret fantasy is being treated like a princess. You look at him and think a guy like him wants to be feared and demands respect. Actually, no. The only person he'd want attention from all the time if you. Not in the "I'm important pay attention to me" type of way but in a soft, intimate way in which only you would care for him. So he wakes up to the delusion of thinking you're using all your strength to carry him and he looks at you like you're his savior when in reality it's two other men helping you by supporting his legs and back.

:‹ Horangi would barely be conscious and assume its one of his teammates that is carrying him. He dislikes getting picked up by anyone other than König (despite the fact König hates going so) so he starts moving until he hears your sharp voice which jerks him awake. He thinks he must be dreaming but he couldn't mistake your voice or face for anyone else. Lowkey is into it, curls up in your arms thinking he's small enough to fit even though he's not and you're struggling. He even attempts to lay his head on your shoulder until you throw him onto a stretcher.

:‹ Nikto grunts as he feels himself getting picked up, but instead of that rough manhandling he usually gets from a fellow teammate he feels efficient hands quickly wrap around him, yet they feel so tender too. The way those hands don't pull or drag his limbs carelessly, he knows it might be delusional getting his hopes up already imagining who it could be. He decides to open his eyes and expects to be disappointed if it isn't the person he expects. But he's quite delighted to see it is you. You don't take the time to look down at him because you're too busy trying to hurry and make it back in one piece with the man in your arms to notice his lazy smile as he closes his eyes, assured you'll take good care of him.

[salsa-and-light]

@spidersteelandsmile

Your story is beautiful. Than you for sharing, these sorts of things aren't talked about enough.

Knowing Queer people and Queer stories is the strongest antidote to prejudices like these.

I respect that you tried to approach this diplomatically.

I don't know if you were being brief to come off as non-hostile or if you genuinely aren't familiar with many of the tactics of homophobic Christians, but in my experience they do not have reasons for their beliefs.

Many have very rudimentary explanations which are either entirely untrue or fall apart upon examination. Examination that they can not or do not do themselves.

So I will admit that talking to them seriously can be taxing, even if they do have good intentions. It does not appear to me that that this person has good intentions.

I would be happy to explain more on the different ideas and sources surrounding this subject if you are curious, and you are more than welcome to read on. But in my opinion, I don't think you are going to get reasonable answers from someone like this.

>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>

@artist-issues

"But it’s kind of pointing out a flaw in your understanding of God’s Word to open your post with “give me verses” and then narrow it down to “but only the ones where Jesus is talking.”"

Christ specifically was operating in opposition to the religious norms of his day.

At various points both in his ministry and in the rest of the New Testament the Law and contemporary Jewish norms are specifically ended, removed or condemned.

Christian follow Christ, Christians focusing on Christ is the default.

We shouldn't be acting out the arrogant legalism of the pharisees who killed him, that's for sure.

"“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.“ John 1:1"

This is actually a good thing to mention.

As Gay Christian and historian of Christianity, Diarmaid MacCulloch put it:

"The Bible is not the word of God. Jesus is the word of God, it says so in the Bible."

So yes, Jesus the Christ seems to be the most important person to listen to in.. Christianity.

"“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness..."

No one said that scripture was useless.

What you're doing is talking around the fact that the founder of our faith didn't have anything to say about homosexuality.

If you want to argue that it doesn't matter, then fine, do that.

Arguing against points no one made makes you seem defensive, or paranoid.

..

Though you have stumbled upon something worth mentioning.

The scripture is trustworthy.

But why would you be⸮

You can have your opinion of course, it's just that your opinion isn't worth much.

In a way it's telling that when questioned you cite the inerrancy of God and scripture.

As if the authority of God.. makes your argument stronger.

Difficulty with separating your opinions from God's is usually a problem.

"Peter, in his letter, said Paul’s words were Scripture"

..No..

but also,

"His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction." - 2 Peter 3:16b

It's odd that you decided to breeze past the part where he says people distort scripture.

I'm not even disputing the legitimacy of Pauls readings, but if I were, why would I trust Peter more?

And even if I did trust Peter more.. he doesn't use the word "scripture" in Greek, he said "writings".

["γραφὰς-graphas" is the Greek word in quetion, being the source for the English root "graph" as in "photograph", "graphics" or "grapheme" a linguistic term for a fundamental unit of written language"]

Even the English word "scripture" just originally meant writings but through the isolated exposure to the word through the Catholic church the word gained religious connotations. Spanish, French and other romance languages have a doublet of the term but have to specify "escritura sagrada", "Saintes Écritures" or holy scriptures, because their terms are the equivalent of "writing(s)".

This is mostly a English phenomenon.

So no one was arguing that Paul was unimportant, but if they were.. then your argument would still be bad.

"And if you doubt that the Apostle Peter had the authority to say what was and was not the Word of God, then you’re doubting that anything you know Jesus to have said was ever actually what He said"

Again, no one is disputing the accounts of Peter.

But if they were this would, again, be a terrible argument.

There are four Gospels and Peter didn't write any of them.

If someone wanted to ignore Peter's account they could and still have the majority of the accounts of Christ's ministries.

..

i think you're misunderstanding the problem here.

I don't think anyone here is saying that Christ is the only source of information.

Christians are people who follow Christ, it' not that deep.

But if we are listening to Paul we should listen to him.

Here's what he said.

"One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul?" - 1 Corinthians 1:12b-13

We are not saved by the Law or by Peter or Paul.

Appealing to them to supplant the ministry of Christ is contradictory to the ministry of Christ and that of Peter & Paul.

"a lot of the eyewitness accounts of what Jesus said come from the Apostle Peter."

I don't even know what this means.

Peter didn't write the Gospels, at most he Wrote 1st Peter and 2cd Peter.. and that's disputed too.

This isn't even the topic, I don't care and you're not the person to talk to about this anyways,

but these claims are just puzzling.

"If you’re going to say Scripture is your authority, you have to answer the question “why.”"

Interesting that you didn't give a why when you were making things up about how being straight was a fundamental part of the faith.

"The only reason to make Scripture the authority for your life and how you live it is if, indeed, it is the Word of God."

"The Bible is not the word of God. Jesus is the word of God, it says so in the Bible."

"And you have to believe all of it is the Word of God. All of it."

This is called a false dichotomy.

Another lie.

Not that anyone was saying that they didn't believe the Bible.

Which again,

"The Bible is not the word of God. Jesus is the word of God, it says so in the Bible."

"Now that we’ve established that it’s all-or-nothing"

You didn't establish anything.

You said something insane and blathered for a bit.

No one is even arguing that parts of the Bible are untrue, your arguments are just terrible

It's amazing that language teachers can't correct this sort of thing.

"you can’t just pick and choose which verses have authority and which don’t"

No you don't get to choose.

If you're listening to the whole Bible then you are actually commanded to ignore certain portions of it.

Which I know that you know, because I know you're not making animal sacrifices correctly.

"here are the ones where homosexuality is prohibited.[Leviticus 18:22 & Leviticus 20:13]"

This is so embarrassing for you.

..

I'm going to ignore the hypocrisy of quoting a code of law that you don't follow and I'll even ignore that I count five mistranslations in just two verses and I'll focus something worse.

You're being dishonest.

Let's make this very, very simple.

Is two lesbians raising a child together a form of homosexuality?

Yes.

Is two men having sex together a form of homosexuality?

Yes.

Now,

Is two lesbians raising a child together a form of two men having sex together⸮

No.

This is the equivalent of saying that clothes are banned because hats are banned. You're exaggerating the meaning to match your personal feelings, not the semantics of the actual text.

This verse, which is A) mistranslated and B) defunct, still does not prohibit homosexuality.

It doesn't prohibit gay marriage, it doesn't prohibit gay parents, it doesn't prohibit anything that a lesbian might do.

It doesn't even prohibit all forms of sex between men.

Even in a defunct, mistranslated text you still felt the need to lie.

Because nothing about your views is based on reason, or honesty. It's certainly not based on text.

It's based on your prejudice.

"This is God...telling the Israelites in His Law"

It's Levitical Law, the law of the Levitical priesthood. Priests from the tribe of Levi.

And among its lists of laws, [which you do not follow], are laws requiring the execution of rape victims and systematizing the ownership and sale of women; among other things.

So I'm actually grateful that you spent so much time building up Paul so you can't backtrack when Paul writes about the Law.

"But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code." - Romans 7:6 "So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian." Galatians 3:24-25 "The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless" - Hebrews 7:18

But supposedly you got your conclusions from the text.

"It’s meant to reveal the standard that humanity falls short of, not condone falling short of that standard."

Sure the perfect version of humanity wears tassels.

Funny, Adam and Eve didn't wear anything.

"Jesus has not changed His mind about this. Homosexuality is an abomination. And ⬇️ [Romas 1:26-27]"

This is lazy.

I could tell you to just read the whole chapter; but who knows what you'd come up with.

If you had read the whole chapter.. you would know that this chapter is talking about a pagan sex cult.

And if you knew what you were talking about, then you would know that these men usually had sex with women.

Condemning a bunch of cultists is not a commentary on homosexuality even if the members were homosexuals, which they decidedly were not.

"⬆️ This was written in the New Covenant"

What would that even mean‽

Not everything in the New Testament, is a part of the new covenant.

You realize that the New Testament also includes the crucifixion and commands for slaves to obey their masters right?

"God hasn’t changed His mind. What He says is natural is natural...it’s not natural to be “consumed with passion” for the same sex as yourself."

You're talking about what's ""natural"" as if you aren't online. Be serious.

You want to know what else is unnatural⸮ Modern medicine, electricity, indoor plumbing, the written word.

If you had thought about this for more than a second you would have realized how stupid naturalism is as a moral standard

And if you had done that then you might have actually attempted to understand the meaning of the text.

The Greek term "φυσικὴν - physikēn" just means instinctual or inborn. It's a relative of the English word "physical".

It does not reference any such concept like an universal natural order.

It just means that these men were usually with women and not men.

This is the closest the Bible ever comes to describing orientation.

If Paul had intended to make broad sweeping commentary on homosexuality, a concept that would not exist for another eighteen centuries, then why would he be specifying that these men were acting out of character.

Probably because having sex for the worship of a pagan god is even more heinous when it's not even the sex you'd want to be having.

"Jesus talks about the correct view of marriage by quoting...[Matthew 19:4-5]"

Jesus does not say that this is the correct view of marriage, Jesus never even calls this a marriage, and neither does Genesis 2:24 which he is quoting.

You're compulsion to lie is troubling.

And because I actually know this topic fairly well I suspect that you're thinking that it must be about marriage because the verses mention wives.

But no

English translators added "wife", both the Hebrew and Greek terms of this quote(Genesis 2:24 & Matthew 19:5 respectively) just mean "woman"

And again, it's fortunate that you've spent so much time defending the validity of other scripture because if you want to argue that all scripture is equal.. then Jesus can't be claiming that the correct view of marriage is heterosexual monogamy.

Because the Bible frequently refers to polygamy and makes a distinction between marriage and other forms of relationship like concubinage.

So if you're claiming that no other sort of marriage can exist, then you're contradicting scripture.

"I know you said you don’t understand how what Jesus does say condemns homosexuality."

There’s nothing to understand, this is an imaginary problem.

Mentioning heterosexuality isn't condemning Queer people.

Queer people manage talk about heterosexuality all the time without being homophobes.

"Jesus was talking to people who were trying to trap Him by asking about the right way to handle divorce—a matter of marriage. And Jesus answered by explaining what the correct view of marriage is"

Assumption.

"We fall so hard that even what we desire is twisted and broken, and even our ability to know what brokenness is"

Clearly yours is.

"And that’s why it’s so good that you asked me to give you verses. Because when we can’t trust whether or not we know what’s good or bad, right or wrong"

You're a fool if you think feelings stop at the page.

Your feelings influence you.

You are not impartial, objective or even terribly knowledgeable.

Your interpretation is less reliable than the conscience of someone who actually knows something about the Queer experience.

"The Bible. God’s Word."

"The Bible is not the word of God. Jesus is the word of God, it says so in the Bible."

"You can’t base what God wants for you, what’s right and wrong, on your feelings"

That's what you're doing hon'

You arguments don't make sense and your behavior is more in line with an emotional outburst.

"Life experience is meant to be informed by what God says in His Word"

I'd love to see where you got that idea from.

All human communication is formed on the basis of past experiences.

Anything you could interpret must be transmitted through the lens of past experiences.

Which is why bias is an inherent part of the human condition.

"Because your analyzer, your mind, your heart, are broken,"

Oh look gaslighting.

Isn't it rich that you remember the basic reality of bias and fallibility only when they're using them to explain why you should be the authority.

"What I am telling you is that your interpretation of that experience, that it’s somehow “from God,” that He set it up that way and that’s how you know He approves of your homosexuality—that is what’s incorrect"

Cool story, but you can't prove it.

"Your interpretation of what you’ve lived through as “from God” is incorrect, and it is very dangerous."

Real quick, how many people died from being gay and happy⸮

It's "dangerous" because you can't disprove it. And you know that no one will buy the misery you're hawking without censoring any alternative.

"There are plenty of verses about that."

Oh yes there are plenty of verses about being wrong about scripture.

But history seems to indicates that that doesn't stop people frome being wrong.

One of us must be wrong don’t you think, but do those verses tell us who⸮

"This is against saying that “God placed a burden on me to do this or that” because you run the risk of perverting His words."

I guess you're also abstaining from the "burden of proof" too.

"Again, this verse proves[Jeremiah 23:25-27] you can think you’re hearing from God, or something is coming from God, and be wrong."

And you're exemplifying that problem beautifully.

"But you don’t have to read very far into the Bible to notice that God is a specific, existing Person with His own set of characteristics, wants, loves, and dislikes, and you can’t change them or decide what they really any more than I could change or decide what your characteristics,"

Says the homophobe using non-binary pronouns to blaspheme a God of Love.

This is a non-point.

No one is trying to change God here but you.

You're the one making the claim that God's grace is undone by homosexuality.

That's heresy.

"The only way to know is to line what you’re thinking about His will up next to Scripture. See if it matches."

Oh girl, don't you know better.

If your only standard for your base ethics is whether scripture "agrees with you" then it's no wonder you're so nasty.

For one you don't know much about the Bible, so basing your morality on your hazy recollections is.. not exactly ideal.

But let's suppose that you actually knew something.

You want to know who reads the Bible and comes away thinking they have God's approval⸮

Everyone who wants it

I'm sorry but even I and the other Queer people you so despise regularly come to the conclusion that the Bible supports us.

Your own pseudo-logic condemns you.

Queer people don’t usually go around bragging about it because anyone can get scripture’s approval: me, you, nazis, slavers, imperialists.

And lest you be confused, this is not because everyone else is lying to themselves and you are the one true Christian who reads the Bible honestly.

It’s because bias is inherent to the human condition and we can be wrong no matter how good or bad our intentions are.

"And if you’re living as if He does not think homosexuality is an abomination,"

Abomination is one of those mistranslations from the laws that you don't follow that I mentioned;

by the way.

"One more verse, because it’s the one where Hope is found.[1 Corinthians 6:9-11] See? Do you see?"

Another instance where some more research would have saved us both some time.

Please refer to the documentary about this

1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture

Or if you can't find that documentary, you can look at this recorded presentation made by one of the presenters.

Both 1 Corinthians 6:9 & 1 Timothy 1:10 are mistranslations totally unsupported by historical analysis and even modern English semantics.

You don’t have to watch these videos, but if you want to claim to be informed with any honesty it would behoove you to actually be informed.

"Don’t be deceived - you can be wrong about this."

But not you is that right.

- negative self awareness -

"It is defined as normal by the Bible TO be deceived"

Yeah,

Which explains why Christians have proclaimed evil prejudices like racial hierarchy and imperialism for centuries.

Can you think of anything similar⸮

"You can be deceived—into believing that any of the sins he lists are somehow NOT sins"

And you were deceived into thinking that Love was immoral based on mistranslation.

"It’s in the verse. It’s plain. Nothing twisted or hard to see or understand about that."

You wouldn't be saying that unless you already knew that the translation is contentious.

If you had spent time trying to understand the situation instead of covering your own ass, then you might have been able to learn something.

"Homosexuality is a sin. But it’s not a super-sin. It’s not special"

Lie. You don't believe that.

And I know you don't believe that because you didn't write angry pouts about other sins.

You also didn't claim that the arrogant or the hypocritical stop being Christians.

Presumably because you aren't so stupid.

But you're not smart enough to not get caught in an obvious lie.

"Such were some of you - Christians have been homosexuals."

And Christians continue to be homosexuals.

Gay conversion is not possible through any ethical means, nor is it possible through unethical means, and we know this because we've tried all of them.

Advocating torture because you can't handle reality is evil.

"But it’s past-tense. It was who they were. It is NOT anymore."

Being gay has never been who anyone is.

And you would know that if you saw Queer people as your equals instead of as evil bogey man made to torment you.

"Homosexuals" is a mistranslation. And your wild conspiracism is embarrasing.

"The name of Christ? “Christian.” An identifier that is incompatible with the name “homosexual.”"

Prove it.

You have no credibility, your knowledge is inaccurate, you honesty is wanting and you're a minority opinion even among the bigoted.

This isn't an argumment, it's begging.

"You aren’t a homosexual. If you’ve been washed, sanctified, by the Spirit of God"

And we're still not heterosexual or straight.

Which is it. Is God's power limited⸮ Or are you⸮

There is a wrong answer.

"Please don’t jump right into responding to this reblog by saying things to me like “I pray that one day God opens your eyes to a world of love, not hate,”"

Oh.

So you do have an understanding of how impersonal platitudes are annoying.

So you weren't ignorant, you were a hypocrite.

"as if anything I’ve said is hateful"

- negative self awareness -

I don't know what needs to be done for you to have an attitude adjustment, but I teach rich pre-teens and they're not this bratty.

"or anything apart from what God says is love can be love. He is love."

Lower my expectations and keep digging.

You're somehow deluded into believing that Love can be evil.

I follow a God of Love, you’re doing something else.

Look at 1 Corinthians 13

You know.. Love is patient, Love is kind..

Ring any bells⸮

Why don't you read that chapter and let me know when you find a gender requirement.

"He says it is is better than the lies the world has convinced you is “love.”"

Oh so your evil.

Queer people are in fact capable of Love.

How you think you're not full of hatred is beyond me. Though I suppose you could be lying.

"Read what is typed in this post and weigh it and consider it, as if it’s the first time you’ve heard it."

So without all of your homophobic biases.

Funny, without assuming that homosexuality immoral and that Queer people are incapable of Love the Bible doesn't seem so prejudiced after all.

Way to tell on yourself.

Get real.

People aren't going to magically acquire your biases even if they could somehow get rid of their own.

You are not some blank slate interpreting without motive, you are dripping in bias, with a large helping of self-importance to boot.

"And THEN make the decision"

I did.

I got three degrees worth of knowledge and read a pile of books on the subject.

You can't even be bothered to read your own posts so you don't get caught in a lie.

Maybe you got off on being able to dominate the other boys and girls in Sunday school, I don’t know, but this behavior is terrible.

I once believed the way you do. Then I got better.

You could too. But you choose to wallow instead.

"Or are you going to stop trusting your deceitful heart and what the whole world says, and trust in God alone?"

You can't even Trust that God made a Love you don't experience.

Don’t bother talking about trust when you’ve shown that you don’t value it.

"If you’re a Christian, you chose to die to your old self and be Christ’s. Be what He tells you to be."

Which is a Queer fuck.

And if you don't like it, kick rocks.

"One is a traveling nurse who was engaged to another woman, the other is a 15 year-old girl who was dating another girl. They gave their lives to Christ in this past year and are happy, even though it’s hard, following Him."

80% of supposed "ex-gays" are openly Queer again within five years.

And that's according to the manipulated data of "conversion therapists."

But if you're hanging around we might be able to cut that time in half.

Wishing them a speedy recovery.

"“Let God be true though every one were a liar…”"

Well we already know which one you are.

I will say it again:

The LGBTQ+ person who asks Christians to "welcome and accept them without telling them they should change" is openly demanding that the Christians change. From being Christians, to being non-Christians.

Because Christ died to save you from who you used to be. When you become a Christian, you're choosing to change from who you were to who He tells you to be. That is Christianity. To tell Christians to stop talking and behaving like that is what they believe is to not only reject Christianity yourself, but demand that they reject it, too.

Do not listen to any influencer, pop culture icon, or person who says to you that Christians do not love LGBTQ+ people, because they say LGBTQ+ people should change who they are.

Christians change who they are. More accurately, they let Christ change who they are. That’s how they became Christians. Truth goes hand in hand with love—it is not avoiding it. Because love is not anti-rejection. Love rejects plenty of things! Love rejects hatred, self-focus, and lies. So of course Christians who believe in a God that says, “let Me change you into who you’re meant to be” can tell you that you need to change—and that is loving. They love you, and they’re not okay with leaving you the way you are. Because Christ didn’t leave them, the Christians, the way they were.

Don't listen to anyone, "Christian" or otherwise, who tells you different.

[viviansturns]

Can you do a Chris fic where they are best friends but secretly want each other. Like they’re going to have a sleepover and at the moment they’re in his room watching a movie or something and he does something that turns her on like idk taking off his shirt or something and she’s like staring. He asks if she’s good and she’s like stuttering and shit like ohh yeah I’m fine and says she’s gonna take a shower. So she goes in and tries to get herself off and Chris hears her so he goes in the bathroom and at first she doesn’t realize cause she has her eyes closed focusing on the pleasure and he doesn’t say anything just stares. Eventually Chris asks like “what are you thinking about” and there she opens her eyes and sees Chris and it leads to them fuckinh and feelings revealing and yea. That was a lot omg but like something like that would be sooo gooddd.

note to the anon: try not to send the same request to multiple writers because it makes it less original!

cw: walking in on showering, eating out, p in v protected, overstimulation, bigdick!chris

Chris had been your best friend since middle school—one of those friends who could knock on your window at 2 a.m. and you'd let him in without even asking why. He was safety, comfort, inside jokes and shared playlists.

But tonight?

Tonight, he was shirtless on the bed, watching a movie, and your brain was not cooperating.

“I’m telling you,” he muttered around a mouthful of popcorn, “if they just talked to the villain, this whole movie would’ve ended in twenty minutes.”

You didn’t respond.

Because you weren’t listening.

Because your attention was locked on the way his sweatpants hung low on his hips. The way his abs flexed when he sat up. The curve of his jawline, how it shadowed under the warm light of his bedroom lamp. His low eyes and sharp jawline and messy hair were practically transfixing you.

He turned to look at you, smirking when he caught you staring. “You good?”

You blinked. Swallowed. “What? Yeah. I’m—yeah, I’m fine.”

“Sure you are,” he said, teasing. He leaned back on his elbows, biceps stretching. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

You scrambled off the bed. “I’m just gonna take a shower real quick.”

“Shower?” he echoed, eyebrows raised. “We’re mid-movie.”

You grabbed your bag and practically fled to the bathroom. “I’ll be quick.”

Your skin was burning before the water even turned hot.

The shower was supposed to calm you down. Wash away the images. Wipe your brain clean.

Instead, you sat down on the built-in bench, steam curling around you, and let your legs fall open. The water had been turned off minutes ago, but your skin was still damp, your breath shaky. A towel was wrapped loosely around your body, but your hand had already slipped beneath it.

You weren’t even ashamed.

You were too far gone for shame.

Your fingers rubbed slow circles, hips shifting against the tile. Your head fell back, mouth parting, eyes fluttering shut.

And in your mind, it was his voice whispering your name. His hand on your thighs. His mouth—

“Fuck,” you gasped.

Then—a click noise. You didn't pay attention at first, too focused on reaching your high.

“What are you thinking about?”

Your body jerked like you’d been electrocuted. Your eyes snapped open—and there he was. Chris. Standing just inside the bathroom door, half-shrouded in steam, like some fantasy brought to life.

Your mouth opened. Nothing came out.

He didn’t move. Just watched you, eyes locked on your hand still buried under the towel.

“You left the door unlocked,” he said softly. “I heard you.”

He stepped closer.

You didn’t move.

“I heard you say my name,” he added, voice lower now. “wanna explain that?”

Your breath hitched.

He came to a slow stop in front of you. Still shirtless. Still in those grey sweatpants. Only now, you could see the clear outline of his hard-on pressing against the fabric.

He knelt down, one hand bracing beside your thigh, the other gently sliding the towel back.

“Was it me?” he whispered.

You nodded. Barely.

And Chris smiled like a man finally unchained.

“Good."

Chris’s fingers grazed your inner thigh, slow and deliberate. You were still seated on the shower bench, towel parted now, barely covering anything. Your breath was stuck in your throat. His pupils were blown wide.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this,” he murmured, almost more to himself than to you.

“Then show me,” you said.

That was all it took.

He leaned in—not fast, not greedy—controlled. Like he wanted to savor it. His lips pressed to the soft skin just above your knee. Then higher. Then higher. Until he was inches from where your fingers had just been.

You whimpered.

Chris looked up at you, hand sliding under your thigh to hold you open. “You want me to stop, say it now.”

You didn’t.

You couldn’t.

Your hips lifted in response.

He smiled, just a little. “Didn’t think so.”

His mouth landed soft at first, just a kiss. Then a slow, hot lick that made your eyes roll back. His tongue circled you, teasing, not giving you everything yet.

You tried to grind against his face, but his grip on your thighs tightened.

“Let me take my time,” he said against your skin. “You rushed it in here alone. I’m gonna make it last.”

You were panting already. “Chris, please…”

He groaned like your voice alone could make him come.

He licked deep, slow and rhythmic, and when he found that perfect spot—the one that made your spine arch and your thighs shake—he stayed there. His tongue moved in firm, steady circles, his hand sliding up to press lightly on your lower stomach, holding you down when you started to twitch from the pressure building.

“Shit—Chris—”

He hummed, the vibration making your eyes flutter shut.

You came the first time so hard you forgot how to breathe.

But he didn’t stop.

Even as your thighs tried to close, even as your moans cracked and your back hit the tile wall, he kept going, pushing you through it, past it, into something raw and aching.

When he finally pulled back, his mouth was shiny, his jaw flushed. He looked wrecked—but satisfied.

“I’ve wanted to taste you for so fucking long,” he said, voice wrecked.

You reached for him, yanking him up to crash your mouth against his, tasting yourself on his tongue. His body fell into yours, hands framing your face, and the kiss turned frantic, desperate. All tongue and teeth and gasps between words.

You pulled at his waistband, dragging his sweats and boxers down together. His cock slapped against his stomach, flushed and hard and so heavy-looking your thighs clenched just from seeing it.

“Condom?” you breathed, tugging your lip between your teeth.

He nodded, panting. “Yeah. Bedroom. Top drawer.”

You stood—shaky, still flushed—and followed him out.

The bed was unmade, covers a mess from the movie earlier, but you didn’t care. You climbed on first, laying back, thighs still damp, eyes fixed on him while he rolled the condom on with trembling hands.

And when he hovered over you—head brushing your entrance, arm shaking a little with restraint—you looked him dead in the eyes.

“Don’t go easy.”

He groaned. “If I go any harder I might not last—”

“Then take your time,” you whispered. “But don’t hold back.”

He pushed in slowly—so slowly—and the stretch stole every word from your throat. You dug your nails into his biceps, mouth falling open.

Chris’s eyes were locked on where you joined, jaw tight, chest heaving. “Holy—fuck—you feel—”

“Holy fuck,” you gasped. “Y-y—so big.” he just groans out loud, not moving at all as he tried to catch his breath.

"D-Don't say shit like that," he mumbled. "I'm tryna last for you."

You just whimper in desperation, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him further into you, clenching. "Please, Chris. Move."

And he did.

Not fast. Not hard. But deep. Each thrust felt intentional, like he was trying to memorize your body from the inside out.

You moaned loud—long and wrecked—and he kissed you to muffle it.

The pace stayed steady, even as the pressure built. You locked your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, deeper. His lips found your neck, biting softly, his breath hot against your skin.

“Tell me you’ve thought about this,” he whispered.

“I-I’ve dreamed about this.”

He groaned into your throat. “Tell me you wanted me.”

“I always wanted you.”

His rhythm stuttered. He reached down, fingers finding your clit, rubbing slow and firm in sync with his thrusts.

Your back arched.

Every stroke was deep and delicious—dragging against that spot inside you just right, his fingers teasing you at the same pace, unhurried, like he wanted you right on the edge without tipping over.

“Chris—” your voice cracked. “Don’t stop. Please.”

“Not planning on it,” he rasped, kissing your shoulder, your collarbone, everywhere he could reach. “You feel—fuck—you feel so good.”

You clenched around him, tight and desperate, and he cursed again, dragging his cock out almost all the way before sliding back in slow and thick.

You whimpered. He smiled against your skin.

“Just like that,” he muttered. “You like it when I take my time, huh?”

You nodded fast, nails digging into his back.

He shifted, pulling your hips up just slightly, angling himself deeper. The next thrust made you cry out—sharp and breathless. His hand never left your clit, rubbing tight circles that made your legs shake.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he said into your neck. “Can’t believe I waited this long.”

He groaned, picking up the pace—just slightly. Enough to make your breath catch with every thrust, but still not fast. Not rough. It was a rhythm built to drive you crazy, to stretch it out until you were babbling nonsense into his shoulder, clutching at him like you’d fall apart without his body against yours.

You came like that—legs shaking, chest heaving, voice cracked and ragged from how long it had been building.

And even then—he didn’t stop.

Chris held you through it, whispering praise, mouth pressed to your cheek. “That’s it. That’s my girl. So fucking good for me.”

You gasped, blinking up at him. “Y-Your girl?”

He looked down at you, still inside, still rock hard, still moving. “You think I fuck just anyone like this?”

You tried to answer, but all that came out was a moan as he rolled his hips deep and slow again, dragging another soft wave of overstimulation out of you.

His fingers slid back to your clit. “Give me another.”

“Chris—” you whimpered. “I can’t—”

“Yes, you can,” he whispered, kissing your jaw. “One more. Just one more, baby.”

You clenched your eyes shut, body twitching under him, so sensitive you could barely take it—but he didn’t stop.

You came again—your third—with a strangled cry, thighs trembling so hard he had to hold you still. His name left your lips like a prayer.

That finally broke him.

Chris shoved in deep, pace faltering, breath ragged as he fucked you through your aftershocks. “I’m gonna come,” he growled. “You feel too fucking good—I can’t—”

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him down into a kiss just as his rhythm stuttered into something wild and desperate.

And then he groaned into your mouth as he came, hips jerking, cock pulsing inside you.

He stayed there—buried in you, panting, trembling, face pressed to your neck—while your fingers traced the sweat-damp skin of his back.

Neither of you spoke for a long moment.

"Now what?" you whisper

this might be buns sorry

[isetfiretomyself]

Yandere Male Chef X G/N Actor Reader

This is my first request for a Yan online! YIPPEE :D I don't think I'd respond to questions again because damn it ruined my engagement last time. This took me way longer then expected to get done(⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠)Guys I need you to understand how long it took me to figure out how this guy was gonna lose his mind(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) - Jay

Trigger Warnings! Putting people in harms way, Unhealthy Protectiveness, Violence, Gore, Cannibalism, Tricked into Cannibalism, This Fic gets a little darker then my normal stuff! This is all fictional I don't condone toxic behaviour or crimes irl!

🔪Yandere Chef who worked at his families restaurant till he was 17. He was taught to cook with love and care! He then got the opportunity to learn professionally were he spent years working with the best of the best! It's wasn't about fun anymore it was about perfection.

🔪Yandere Chef didn't like people by the end of his training and worked out private work was so much more isolating then high class restaurants. He would come in for romantic dinners, parties, whatever, whenever. He didn't care.

That's where he met you. Wade learnt what to expect from certain clients. Influences usually want small appetizers for parties, athletes want meals they can heat up but you. Actor's usually want a show piece for events, you just wanted your favourite meal alone on your birthday. How bizarre?

🔪Yandere Chef knocked at your penthouse. You opened the door. "Hiya! You're here!" Wade isn't used to people talking so excitedly around him. It reminds him of his childhood before yelling negatively was what ingrained into him. He didn't really like having these feelings brought up in him.

🔪Yandere Chef was lead to your kitchen where you had all the ingredients neatly laid out, cute. What surprised him more was when you sat opposite him elbows on the counter. "You don't need to be about. I won't burn your kitchen down." "Oh! I know! I just wanted to keep you company! If I'm allowed?"

🔪Yandere Chef was taken aback. "Who am I to deny you on your birthday?" He was so curious about you that for the first time he questioned a client. "Why are you alone on your birthday?" "Oh! I prefer being on my own!" "Amen to that." He mumbles while focusing on the meal.

He plated your meal and to his surprise you ate all of it. If it's one thing he's learnt from celebrities is that they never eat everything. Something about being "humble" or not being "greedy", whatever it's insulting to see the food he spends hours cooking get only half ate.

"This is so good! You're so talented!" You were so excited over his food it threw him off guard.

🔪Yandere Chef felt a little embarrassed. He's not had so much praise since he was a child. He was more thrown of guard when you tried tipping him on your birthday. "You don't need to do that." He tried resisting but you wouldn't let it happen. "Please, I really, really want to! I haven't had such a delicious meal in a while!"

Wade went home looking going through the cash you gave him. Most of the time celebrities pre pay, completely ignore him and send him on his way. On a bad day he'll actively hear people negatively talk about his food. You were so happy it was such a harsh contrast.

🔪Yandere Chef was hired for a house warming party. Some rich actor wanting show off his mansion. He was there hours early making appetizers because none wants a real meal anymore. He had everything set up and was about to leave and till his client stood in his pathway.

"Listen it's totally optional but you're hard to get and I think if you showed your face it'd be pretty cool. I mean you're notoriously hard to get and I did give you a generous tip."

That's how Wade ended up with swirling red wine around in a glass, sat on an expensive sofa debating if he should stain it. He had people come up to him mainly trying to hire him or trying to get gossip on his prior clients. He was going to leave when he hears someone from the other side of the room. "Oh my! Wade! Hiya!" You come rushing over. "I thought you made the food, it's so delicious!" Then like a proud parent you dragged him around telling everyone how good the food is and how they should try it. It was so embarrassing!

🔪Yandere Chef was leaning on a wall watching you talk to others. Why does he always feels so embarrassed around you? That's when your laugh brought a realisation within him. You're so pure in such a vile industry. You remind him of his family restaurant, where there was hard work but joy in his creations.

Wade noticed the way some of the others side eyed you. He felt a scoff come from his throat, they were so stuck up, it irritates him.

🔪Yandere Chef takes his hands in yours. "Would you want me to make you another meal? This one's on me." The host's visitors were all shocked. Behaviour like this wasn't common! He noticed the eyes on you made you embarrassed. "I don't mind..." You mumble.

🔪Yandere Chef was making something for you in your kitchen. He was actually trying to engage with you this time. "So." Wade said cutting up vegetables. "You're an actor but you get nervous at parties, why?" He watches you trace circles in your counter. "I don't know...I was a child actor so I suppose it's all I've known." His face hardens.

🔪Yandere Chef thinks you deserve better. I mean you're a good actor but you're better then acting in his eyes. "How many movies have you been in then?" "Didn't you look me up?" "No?" Everything went silent. You had lunged forward over the counter and hugged him. "You're the first person not to goggle me in a while..." You mumbled into his shoulder.

Now the two of you had a sort of alliance or whatever. You called it a friendship.

🔪Yandere Chef was cooking for some rich couple while they were watching TV in the living room. He didn't mind, the women was sweet but the man was cold. He's glad they left him alone. He could faintly hear the TV when your voice was on the screen. Must of been a show or movie you were in.

Wade felt himself smile when he can hear your faint voice from the screen. That's when he can hear his client being rude about your appearance.How dare they!?

🔪Yandere Chef was following a recipe from the husbands descendants. The ink was smudged already in some places so what if he smudged the part on how much spice he was suppose to put in the meal?

It was too spicy. The couple started yelling at him. But he simply pointed at the recipe he followed. By the end the couple was apologising to him completely unaware Wade was in fact to blame.

🔪Yandere Chef didn't like people who were rude to his friends. And you were his friend now. You said so.

🔪Yandere Chef started hanging out with you more and realised maybe he didn't hate all rich people. (Acting like he isn't yk...rich)You were so down to earth. Wade had you round his house watching movies when and advert for your show came on.

You cringed leaning on wades chest to hide your face. "Mute it! Mute it!" You cried. "Seriously you don't need to act." He rubbed the side of your arm. "I just don't want to feel useless.." That's when it hit him, the best idea he ever had in his entire life.

🔪Yandere Chef opened a restaurant! The famous private chef opening up a small restaurant in a busy part of the city. He had the help from his business friend (Yandere Ex Wife cough cough) to insure it.

🔪Yandere Chef needed your help. Well need is a strong word. It gave you a reason not to act, helping your friend! The more you helped, the closer you two got, the closer you two got, the stronger he's feelings for you grew. Manifesting into someone more sinister.

Who complemented him it never meant anything compared to you. You would come in to help the chef's to clean the kitchen after the shifts sometimes too! Aren't you a cutie?

🔪Yandere Chef was opening up early in the morning. Putting his keys into the door but before turning he hears your voice. "Wade! I'm on my way to a magazine shoot but I made you something!" You show a box of homemade sweet treats. "Don't eat them Infront of me...I don't want to know what a renowned chef thinks of my online recipes!" He watches you run off. He hates that your still in the public eye. So casually complacent with your discomfort because what if the change is worse than the norm?

🔪Yandere Chef sat in an empty booth of his restaurant before his employees came in. He opened the box and to see cookies, brownies and sorts. He bites into one. It was so average but tasted so good. Thick tears run down his face, splattering against the table. He's never been the one served food before. Since he was a child he always cooked his food and dinner. Unprovoked act of kindness was something that hit him in a sensitive spot.

🔪Yandere Chef kept working and till he heard you had came to visit. As much as he complains about you being in the public eye but you haven't done any acting since he opened his restaurant, I suppose Wade's plan sort of worked.

Wade walked through. He was going to ask you round his, he as many times before but this time it romantic. He wants you, He needs you to be his. He see's your gorgeous face but before he can talk to you, A waiter has got your attention to try and flirt with you. This angered him. You don't deserve some dirt like that, the world doesn't deserve you. Nobody deserves you.

🔪Yandere Chef had staff stay back to help him clean. Purposely giving the guy trying to flirt with you a hard job so he stays back longer. "Boss, I'm done. I'm going to clock out for the day,Okay?" He turned his back not being able to see Wade pick up a meat tenderizer and smash it on the back of his head.

The lifeless body lays on the white kitchen floor. Wade had already turned the cameras off. The cameras needed to be reset anyway so nobody knows who came in and never came out. The servers head was caved at the back, a slight dent filled with dark red blood before overflowing onto the floor. "Disgusting pig." He said while spitting on the corpse. Wade took out his own personal cooking utensils from a tool box. Taking out a meat cleaver he slides it along the body's corpse angling it away from the corpse and pushes down in a sliding motion skinning the flesh of the bone. It reminds Wade of how his father taught him to handle meat while preparing a dish.

You were in bed, it was quarter to midnight and you were snuggled in your bed thinking about your day. You hope Wade likes the food you made. He was very supportive! Acting was something you felt like you grew out of and he understood that. You've been trying to stay out of the public eye since but it's all you've ever known. Maybe you could ask Wade for a job? Is that scummy? I mean he was so caring! While you were debating the ethics of asking your friend for a job, you hear a knock on your door.

You were scared a little. Checking your doorbell camera, you see Wade waiting there. "What are you doing here?" You asked, rubbing your eyes. "Midnight snack?" He ruffles your hair. Usually you wouldn't eat so late at night but Wades such a good Chef. It was a meat you've never tried before goat, horses? It was strange.

Little did you know Yandere Chef had feed you the man who tried to flirt with you.You didn't know is this is a morbid start to a brutal end.

[y-elleven]

isagi is such a healthy partner. like, he takes it so seriously. i know he might be a bit of a beige flag from an outsider's perspective bc a) he's very focused on soccer and b) he values his parents' opinions a lot but. man. once he falls in love with you, he is for you. ride or die, come hell or high water — he'd never have to choose between his career, family, or you because the answer's already been determined: it's you or nothing at all

yes, he has ambitions. yes, he is a filial son. and for the longest time that was all he ever was. as an adult, he's a career-oriented pro athlete that willingly takes care of and makes time for his parents, which leaves him very little time for as active of a social life as some of his other friends have. and he was fine with it. he was content with that sort of lifestyle because it meant minimal distractions and more energy for the things that mattered most to him. he didn't feel like he was "missing out" like his friends would sometimes tease him about. didn't really see the point in flings or getting with someone he barely knows just for fun. isagi knows where he stands in the world and what he wants to do. he has all that he needs right now, so he's happy. soccer and his family; what else could he possibly want?

apparently, the answer is you

so his priorities shift. a gradual thing that starts from your first 'hello' and settles deep in his bones one night when he wakes up in the dark and feels you (skin on skin, an innocent warmth that soothes his senses like nothing else) wrapped around him. and the thing about isagi is that he loves in wholes, not halves. he loves soccer absolutely. he loves his parents wholly. and most importantly, he loves you completely. so his priorities shift to adapt

he's an adult now, with a flourishing career and an independence that he's been fostering since the end of the neo-egoist league a few years back. he will always be his parents' son and he will always belong on the soccer pitch; those are two of the most unshakeable truths of his life

but now, he's also just your yoichi. your very loving and dedicated boyfriend

your yoichi who'd mentally prepared himself to stand his ground during your first meeting with his parents just in case (just in case of the most horrible scenario ever) they disapprove of you. your yoichi who got teased to tomato redness by his parents when they noticed just how tense he'd been the whole night, too stuck in his own head to notice just how you've been able to mesh well with them so seamlessly it felt like you'd always been meant to find your way to them

("loosen up, yoichi, your parents are lovely. you were more nervous than me!" you laughed in the car on the drive back to your apartment. dinner at his parents' house had been lovely — you were lovely and perfect and he would've been able to appreciate that more if he hadn't been catastrophizing while picking at the greens in his bowl. but, well, he wouldn't be an overthinker if he didn't overthink now, would he?

he keeps both hands on the wheel and privately thanks the dimness of the night for covering the flush in his cheeks. "'course i was nervous. i've never had to talk back to my parents before, so i had to be prepared"

"talk back," you rolled the words around your tongue, tasting the awkwardness in them and finding amusement instead. "yoichi, did you think your parents wouldn't like me?"

"no" and it's the way he says it; soft and sure but still so relieved. "i knew they'd love you. know it, actually. kinda hard not to, babe. i just, well — i wanted to make sure that if something went wrong, i'd be able to step up and pick you without hesitation. i'm their son, but i'm also your partner, y/n."

the a/c hums quietly while he tries to find the words to continue, eyes going a little glassy now that the force of his relief and emotional tension have some room to rest. he's never had to hide his emotions with you, but his pink cheeks get a little pinker when he clears his throat. "i — you know my family's important to me, but i want you to know that my priorities will always have you at number one. i'm on your side, any day, no matter what. i just, uh, had to mentally... prepare myself earlier. yeah. i've never fought with my parents before, so..."

he ends his ramble a little lamely and cringes a little inside. he's never been the most suave or charming, and to be honest he isn't entirely sure how he ended up getting you to be his girlfriend in the first place. he's not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth though. a win is a win and yoichi is nothing but a grateful winner

silence settles between the two of you long enough to make him start sweating just a little. his thumbs trace lines on the wheel while he waits for you to say something. anything would be nice at this point. in fact, if you don't say anything in the next three seconds, he'll—

"hey, yoichi?"

your voice is soft and light. yoichi doesn't need to look at you to know you're smiling. the sound of your joy is one of the most familiar things in his world

he sighs, already accepting what you're gonna say next with all the grace of a man who knows he just said something his partner is gonna tease him for the foreseeable future. "... yeah?"

"you're so stupid. i love you"

"i love you too"

"you're such a crybaby. crybaby yoichi~"

"babe—")

[bambi-kinos]

John in interviews seemed most focused on being in control of a narrative to the point that it’s hard to discern his true thoughts and feelings. When it comes to comments on Paul he comes off aggressively dismissive and self righteously defensive over perceived wrongs done to him and Yoko. He all but insists he creatively outgrew Paul and finds Paul’s creative default to be lacking in depth and sometimes when he tries really hard, he churns out something of worth (he really nailed that specific brand of backhanded compliments). It’s like he pities Paul for wanting the band to go on and then condescends him for taking the measures to dissolve their partnership. Paul seemed to have taken a more or less neutral stance where he jabbed back but didn’t hit back nearly hard enough—makes me wonder how John would’ve reacted had Paul been just as intentionally hurtful or whether he just went fully cold and totally silent on any thoughts on John. What do you make of it all?

Paul's attitude is that he learned a long time ago not to try and compete with John with insults. He considers John to be a great wit and capable of saying very cruel and hurtful things. Paul doesn't have that kind of killer instinct and there's discussion buried in my blog about it, because Mike McCartney made a comment many years ago that he and Paul shared this with James McCartney, that they don't have the ability to just be cruel to someone that way. And because John was famous, no one was willing to form a fist and slam it into the top of his skull to flatten him into an accordion, Tom & Jerry style. And truthfully I think Paul knew that John was full of shit and lashing out.

The thing is John isn't actually that cutting or insulting? Like apparently one of the """""""witty""""""" jokes that he had in Hamburg was that Stuart was a Cancer sign or something and that meant LOL YOU'LL DIE OF CANCER and other such lame as fuck attempts at being funny. For some bizarre reason everyone was scared of John so no one was willing to tell him to his face that he was a dumbass and should stick to music.

So frankly I've always been confused as to how Paul ever got offended over the shitty things John said about him in the 1970s because 70s John's utterances are comedy gold. He just didn't see it because he was such a turd and he forged a mini media empire from fatherless brown nosers who desperately sought his approval. (Because THEN they could go "Fuck you father, John Lennon is my new dad!!!!!!!!!" Jann Wenner would 100% of be photoshopping his face over Sean's in the Ono family photos on Instagram if this were taking place in the 21st century. And he would proudly display them on Twitter with some "blessings from our family <3" caption.)

But I'm getting off track. The point of all this is that yeah, John was a narcissist and Paul didn't hit back as hard as he deserved. John was extremely reactionary, he was willing to say absolutely anything if it hurt Paul no matter how idiotic or contradictory. Remember that he could do this because he deliberately recruited journalists who were willing to print whatever he said and never challenge him ever, he didn't want anyone with a backbone that was willing to say "wait a minute, that doesn't make sense."

At the end of the day I think Paul had to make a decision. Did he want to punch back, hard, at a guy with notorious anger issues that was hopped up on drugs and willing to shit out lies on demand? Or did he want to say "shut the fuck up John" and pump out six brand new albums in the time it took for John's limo to reach the Rolling Stones news desk lmao. Paul seems to have understood that John's interviews only really amounted to a bunch of hot air and that what really mattered was the musical output. And that is where Paul excels and eventually John folded up into the fetal position while Paul dominated the entire world with Wings. At which point John magically stopped giving so many interviews, had a kid, and started puttering around his house in his robe and hair curlers reading the Dear Abby and astrology sections of the newspaper. Lmao.

The important thing to remember about John during the 1970s is that he was a drunk dumbass that was walking around high all the time. Junkies are black holes of selfishness and cruelty. Paul doesn't have to waste his time with an insult war on a guy who tried to murder his girlfriend in a hot tub and then sniveled about it the next day. Objectively speaking. What exactly is the difference between John and the poor bastard on Skid Row? The fact that he has money?

John's words were hurtful as all get out but Paul won the war. He had a beautiful wife who loved him, children who he was present for, a nice home that he had tons of fun renovating himself, a London property, experiences traveling all over the world, and he could pick and choose his substances and didn't struggle with addiction. At the time John was just another washed up remnant of the 1960s who couldn't hack it in the 1970s and on top of that he helpfully contributed to the Nixon campaign by being such an loudmouth pest the he helped polarize the American public into voting for Nixon in a landslide. Nice job breaking it hero.

If I were Paul then I wouldn't waste time with putdowns either. He already knew he had won in every conceivable avenue and that John's words were meaningless wind. He and eventually George, conceived of the most brutal punishment imaginable for a man like John Lennon: they ignored him. Paul did not spend every minute of the 70s fretting over John, he got on with his life and focused on his children and music. I imagine there were stretches of weeks and maybe even months where he simply did not think about John because John was not doing anything noteworthy or important. I suspect part of the reason why John gave those interviews in the first place was because he was trying to get Paul's attention and couldn't be civil over a phone call.

The simple fact of the matter is that John played well with the media but the tastes of the masses side with Paul every single time. He consistently outsells the other Beatles, put out tons of new music that mostly every body loves, and makes a specific point of putting his thumb in the eyes of critics who have to review his albums knowing they'll be successful lmao. John had plenty of mass success but it just wasn't a competition since Paul broke that standard over his knee. Liking John is more of an ideological point now rather than a musical one. Paul has won the music war which was the only one that actually mattered. And they both knew that.

[jd-loves-fiction]

hello! for the valentines event, can i request a piece with isagi from blue lock?

the general idea is about childhood friends to lovers, with reader owning a coffeeshop and isagi being a pro player who visits the cafe quite often. since being kids, they were unseparable, until high school and the blue lock thing starting; then, both isagi and reader started noticing the subtle changes and how pretty/handsome the other is. after blue lock and isagi becoming the pro player, they couldn't see each other that often, so some angst and misunderstandings could fit in here, overall i ask for fluff!

if i messed up something or didn't explain properly please ask, i am currently losing my mind over him and am not thinking straight

(and hi! could we by any chance become moots? you seem really cool and making friends here is hard >.<)

🌑Of course honey!! Nearly had a heart attack thinking Tumblr deleted this request but it just didn't show up on desktop for some fucking reason 🙃

Anyway here it is i'm quite proud of it. Also since i got a job I've been focused on adjusting so i've been writing slowly but it's picking up! :)

𝓘 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮!

Isagi’s shoulders ache, so do his thighs and his feet and just about everything else. But such is the life of a professional football player – even when there’s no official game, training always succeeds in kicking his ass.

Although, the sight of your face at the end of a long day whenever he had the time to visit always serves to make it all more bearable, like a reward.

You’re buzzing around behind the counter like a busy bee when he arrives, despite the lack of customers  currently ordering – seems like closing hours might be especially busy for the sole worker for the day, who also happens to own the store.

Watching you from afar helps to settle his nerves slightly, but only slightly. You're no longer kids, and that knowledge weighs on him through every interaction – feeling as if he’s both too stiff and overstepping all at once somehow.

Little does he and his usually abnormally observant eyes know, you're having the same problem. Everytime you catch a glimpse of him outside the shop window, you take an instinctive moment to make sure you don't look too frazzled – an automatic action that greatly confused you at first. Why do you care if he sees you like that? Every other customer does.

But he’s not every other customer, obviously, even before you grew apart and the distance someone made your heart grow fonder, he’s always been special to you – just in a different way.

The one who never laughed at your little coffee shop dream, the one whose immense determination in his own dream you always admired – Isagi Yoichi, then best friend, now pro-player whom you barely get to see nowadays.

The bell above the door rings as it opens, a head of dark hair coming though and a pair of blue eyes locking with yours immediately upon entry. You exchange tight-lipped smiles as you put the finishing touches on his usual order, before he’s had the chance to order it.

As you work, you covertly (or so you think) observe him as he moves closer to the counter… before being cut off by some girl excitedly dashing up to him to ask for a picture. Fine, that's fine, totally normal for a decently world-famous athlete, no reason to make it weird… Except for the swirling ugliness in the pit of your stomach – twisting, writhing like some creature from the depths, aching to grab that girl by the shoulders and–

And nothing, because anything else would be stupid and silly. Pulling a girl's pigtails for trying to steal Isagi’s first kiss may have been somewhat acceptable in kindergarten, but no longer.

So you do what is acceptable; side eyeing them both as you finish up the orders you've taken.

“Hey–” you nearly slam the plastic cup in front of your childhood friend (once that girl is pulled away by her friend), thankful for the lid or else it would've sloshed all over his shirt. “Thanks… how'd you–”

“You've asked for the same thing since before Blue Lock and every time you try something different you never like it so, it's not too hard to guess what your order would be.” He still blinks at you as if you've said something utterly bizarre. You shake it in his direction to indicate he should take it and he does.

“When do you get off work?” he says it so quietly you nearly ask him to repeat himself, “5 o'clock.” He nods, hands fiddling with the straps of his backpack nervously – strange, he's never been one to fidget.

As the day winds down too many customers start coming in for you to linger on what he could possibly be nervous about.

You keep an eye on the corner he settles in as you work, alone during the afternoon rush as you are any other, though this one seems a bit busier for some reason… and there's a lot more pink?

No time – not for wondering if you've forgotten something important or to think about how the light catches on Isagi's blue hair as he sips his drink, casting glances towards you and locking gazes every time you do the same – no, no time for that.

You've nearly forgotten all about Isagi once the late afternoon rush has passed, the back of your neck sticky from the harsh lighting and feet throbbing slightly. Wiping down the counter as the last of your patrons filter out slowly, a shadow comes over you, blocking what little sunlight still lingers, “So, uhm, wanna walk home together? You know, like before?”

It almost sounds like he was going to say something else with how he trips over his words but you’re too tired to push, “Sure. Let me just close up.”

Isagi continuously shuffles from one foot to the other as you check over everything before locking up, fiddling with the straps on his duffle bag while waiting for you. You can just about catch him reaching into it once before taking his hand away, changing his mind. His face is still beet red.

“Ready?” You ask him, already starting to walk away from the building.

“Wait! Just… one thing.”

You turn back to him upon hearing his words and taking note of the shakiness of his voice, to see him with darting eyes and hands behind his back, looking like his heart might just run out of his chest from the nervousness.

As you stare at him expectantly, Isagi finally remembers what he’s supposed to be doing, puffing out his chest in an attempt to steel himself. You’re damn near holding your breath by the time he decides to move again, pulling the mysterious object from behind his back to reveal…

“Flowers…?”

“Y-Yeah, since it’s Valentine's I thought–”

“It’s Valentine’s?” The boy you once knew, now a man, looks at you like he once used to whenever you would steal his football and make him chase you down in order to finally play with him – exasperated and silently praying you aren't serious. “I mean, I kinda knew that I just… kinda sorta forgot until now.”

Isagi heaves a deep sigh, ending in a defeated sort of chuckle, he raises the beautiful, custom bouquet of all kinds of flowers (seemingly as to cover as many bases as possible since he likely doesn't know what flowers you’d like) towards you. You take it gingerly from his hands, waiting patiently for what he has to say.

“I think I’ve always loved you. In some way. I just never realized it, until now. At some point during Blue Lock I started feeling like something was missing– no, like something was taken from me. And it wasn't just my phone and… everything else they took – it was you. Every time I felt discouraged I wished you were there to cheer me up like you always used to do when we were kids. At some point that ache became its own motivation, thinking that you’d tell me how proud you were if I won.”

“Listen, I wrote a whole speech, but it doesn't feel right anymore. I love you. I don't know if you feel the same but I just– I just needed to tell you.” The sound of crinkling paper sounds between you, seemingly echoing as you clench and unclench your grip around the sheets enveloping the array of beautiful flowers in your hands.

You think to yourself that there's nothing you could possibly say to that that would even come close matching it in how raw that confession was. So you surge forward to kiss him, clutching the flowers to your chest in order to not drop them.

The kiss is light, full of hesitation and restraint, but earnest, made of love that’s been brewing for years and is now finally realized, “I love you too. And I think that speech was perfect.”

Isagi chuckles, releasing all the tension in his broad shoulders all at once, and though he looks like all he wants to do is kiss you again, he speaks instead, “That’s all I needed to hear.”

[theotherrookie]

"Then they wonder why kids hate schools." Erica grumbled, "I bet they still tell the story of what you did! That guy must be scared of mops too now."

It still wasn't as satisfying as the guy getting skewered or having the mop broken over his head, but it was enough to get the point across.

"You hardly have the need to go unnoticed, Travis. One look at you is enough to discourage many from trying their luck." Willow pointed, "Erica was raised to hunt. It's only natural for her to be conspicuous despite her wardrobe."

"Yeah, sometimes I scare people by accident." Erica confirmed. Perhaps that choice of words was by accident as well. "If those were the second and third, what was the best news you got?"

"The afterlife is extensive. However, she most likely wouldn't mind making an attempt." Willow reassured, "Mother likes you as well as your brothers. That means her usual attentions will be extended to you all as well."

The need for closure would move the ghost lady most of all. Veronica would have agreed in a heartbeat, if only she still had a heart.

Willow considered her options, before tapping into the radio again. The car lacked the charm and bite of the real deal, but she hoped Travis was familiar with KITT. She hated wasting a good reference.

"Come on, Travis! You can't leave me hanging like this. I'm a marvelous car, but I can't do all the heavy lifting myself. That's your specialty."

Erica's ears perked up. "I know that voice! It's that talking car who hung out with that guy from SpongeBob!"

Willow smiled as she tossed her hair back, "I felt like going for a classic this time."

It seemed like these were typical shenanigans between the two of them.

The pocket dimension was very barren, but was far from still. The fog quietly parted as they walked, flowing all around them like an intricate network of streams. It was something Rook found calming in small doses, though her attention was focused elsewhere.

"There's no ugly moquette or buzzing lights either." Rook added, "It can be too quiet at times. Not that hearing distant noises would be any better. I guess it's good for reading, Antonio can probably attest to that. Or not– I'm still waiting for your review of your stay in my liminal closet."

It seemed like a nice way to divert the attention away from some rather unpleasant memories. That wasn't the time or place to start that argument and most of all, she didn't think Lucien should have been present to provide his opinion on the matter. The fae could be awfully unhelpful at times.

Though Bill was being just as helpful, in his own way. Veronica hadn't meant to follow up on her threat, but now she simply had to.

"Too many underestimate the importance of sound values when parenting." Veronica paused, her gaze trailing over at the inevitable duck comment, "You're simply hopeless."

And about to take a ride in the hard to discern void slide. Rook wasn't the only one able to mess with gravity there. Bill could take a ride and think about the consequences of his own actions.

Lucien was simply glad he wasn't the one falling into oblivion. He would simply turn the other way and let Rook have her moment of privacy so she could replenish her magic battery.

"Oh, I see you started synthesizing gold." he told Veronica.

"It's an old family recipe." Veronica replied, "It's a shame we can only use it sparingly these days."

Rook could do nothing but stand for a moment to watch the way everybody was ready to give her some space. It meant more than she was willing to admit. Then again, she never got too sentimental when her marks whenever she started feeling drained.

Rook silently turned and took a few steps away from the group, before there was a shift in the pocket to reveal one of the few monsters she had the time to catch lately. It looked like a hybrid between some kind of reptile and a rodent with a mantis-like head. It didn't really matter what it was or where it came from. She had found it trying to eat some poor schmuck and it had almost slashed her wing off with its claws. Now it was going to do something useful for a change.

"Imagine if Five found you instead." She would probably be starving. There was another shift as a bright light engulfed the monster, before it vanished into a swirly cloud of energy that was absorbed by her marks.

Rook took a moment to simply breathe, before turning back. "I… I'm done."

She didn't want to drag this on to avoid making it more awkward than it was.

Erica, of course, couldn't do anything but cheer at that. "Heck yeah! That guy deserved all the bruises he got."

Somebody had to stand up for children. It was nice of Travis to take the matter into his own hands.

"It sounds like willow and I." Erica said, before she pointed to her double, "She scares people just by standing around and nobody ever hears me coming!"

Both taking great pleasure from the effect they had on people. Willow's attention briefly shifted to the car as Travis got it started and listened to the noise of the engine just a moment before losing interest. Disappointing like its former owner. She might let the others keep this one, after all.

"I'm sure it would be her pleasure to do so." Willow replied, "You should inquire about it directly. There is a high chance she already has some stories to share."

It would have been beneficial in more than a way. The ghost lady would have loved to brag about doing something like that. Having that waiting for her on the other side might have actually persuaded her to take time off more consistently with her needs.

"Let's leave the area. Then I will provide directions to our destination." Willow instructed, "Or we could have a little fun with the GPS."

"We should put on that song that plays in that sketch with the three guys in the car!" Erica suggested.

"We shall, Erica."

They could indulge as long as it was funny.

Like a good host, Rook was keeping track of her guests, especially the ones who had visited before. Russell had made it through on his own last time, strong of the fact that the pocket didn't enjoy holding onto regular humans.

That had changed, but Lucien was already on the case.

"Well, now we know what it feels like to visit the Backrooms." the half fae mused.

"It's more like that infinite Ikea thing." Rook replied. She was quick to summon two endless shelves filled with all kinds of books and knickknacks that stretched past them as far as the eye could see.

It was an excuse to flex the full extent of her occult collection, but it also offered a distraction while she quietly reached to place her hand on Antonio's shoulder. Younger siblings had to be supportive too when needed.

"In my professional opinion, his entire family has never really shined in that regard." Veronica said, "They're just a bunch of power hungry hypocrites. It wouldn't surprise me if he was actively discouraged to improve his technique. He wouldn't be this deranged if he did. They essentially ruined their own child."

As a parent, she simply couldn't stand the thought.

Rook briefly looked at the chainmail, before shutting the chests. "I'm glad you didn't need that."

The battle had gone better than she could have ever hoped for. Both chests floated up to an empty spot on one of the shelves. They would be safe there for the time being.

"Alright, then. Let's all line up and follow mum outta here!"

Veronica sighed and moved to lead the way. "The first one to make a duck joke will take the express way out."

Lucien opened his mouth to reply, but decided for his own good to keep quiet.

Rook fell into step, moving more quickly now that her wings were gone.

"Do you guys mind if we stop by my stash? It's been a long fight..."

Her marks were starting to nag her already.

[mxxninthesky]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀WHAT IT TAKES

CHAPTER 05 of DREAMLIKE DESTINY ─────﹙ 2640 ﹚EN JP SYS

DISCLAIMER This is completely fictional, and not meant to represent the mentioned idols in real life. Some events are changed for the plot. All the OCs are owned by me. REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN FOR THIS SERIES.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀comment && reblog

Minyoung had no expectations of a flashy 90+ score for their first test at I-Land. But with all the rigorous practice they did, she’d at least have expected the result to be something she’d announce with dignity.

But the huge, shameful 59 hung in the air like it was screaming, “Bitch, you thought!” at her.

The nervous buzz of I-Land had quieted to a dreadful silence, drowning its eighteen residents in a sea of dread. Many had shuffled quietly into their assigned rooms to rest and discuss their current fate, but Minyoung chose to spend some time in the item room with her assigned iPad for company, wanting to rewatch the performance.

As the song played, it became increasingly obvious to Minyoung why the score was so low—most of them had no real stage presence. It was like watching a bunch of backup dancers performing with three or four idol trainees. 

She grew more frustrated as she watched on, regret twisting her gut into spirals, because they could have done way better than that. 

It was hard to focus with all the thoughts growing louder, the discouraging feeling of having started the show with a bad performance gnawing at her head. But she still watched it completely. If a decision had to be made to vote out three contestants, Minyoung was going to ensure it was fair on her part. 

The performance and their attitude toward improvement—those were going to be her standards. And by the time she pushed through the discomfort of watching it twice, she had made her choice: Sophie—who went out of formation more than a normal amount, Yeona—who had trouble focusing during practices and silently sulked the rest of the evening when called out, and Soojin—who was on the lower range when compared to Mirae and Saebyeok.

It truly did hurt to think about voting someone off, but she had accepted it because there was no way one girl would be selected for debut without the others getting eliminated. 

It was especially hard with Soojin though, since she wasn’t bad, per se. Minyoung just didn’t have any other option.

And it was even harder to watch the despair on Saebyeok’s face twelve hours later when her best friend’s name was called with four votes under her name. Taking a deep breath, Minyoung reassured herself, “There was no other choice. You had to pick three. That’s how competitions work.” 

But those words became all the more difficult to believe when the next and final name was called with four votes: Kang Mirae. 

…is this what they call karma? 

When she met eyes with Saebyeok, the guilt and sadness on both their faces melted into mutual understanding. They did justice to their conscience. 

Even if it meant voting out each other's best friends.

Sighing, Minyoung stood from her seat, pulling Mirae into a hug. “Come back soon, okay? I’ll be waiting for you,” she said with a smile, hoping to encourage the girl, trying to ignore the urge to tear up. Mirae seemed oddly bright as she nodded back with a smile. 

“You bet, Minnie.” Mirae pinched her cheek, the slight tremble in her voice giving away her sadness.

Minyoung didn't let herself linger in the hug, not wanting to cry. The older girl had become an irreplaceable presence she would miss terribly in their time apart.

Looking around, she observed the other eliminated I-Landers. Daniel and Jake were pouting, looking adorably akin to sad puppies—a sight Minyoung would have cooed at under different circumstances. Soojin was awkwardly patting Sunghoon, who was embracing her, looking like she’d accepted her fate. Sophie was crying in Yeona’s arms. Jay was whispering something into Jungwon’s ears, smiling sweetly as ever. 

Minyoung went around giving them all brief but sweet farewells, managing to hold her feelings inside the tight lump in her throat. 

But one look at Ni-ki’s resigned face as she approached him almost made her lose that restraint. Pausing on her way to him, she quickly turned around to blink back tears. 

As her vision cleared slightly, Nicholas approached her, arms open as he tried to smile. Embracing him, she mumbled into his chest, asking him to return soon. The older boy didn’t speak, nodding before he let her go.

Turning back around, Minyoung found Ni-ki waiting for her patiently. Seeing her face, he smiled warmly as she walked closer, hands in his pockets and bag on his shoulder like he was ready to leave. It was almost as if he wasn’t expecting a hug.

She wondered if he felt guilty for the score, heart tightening at the thought. 

Looping her arms around his waist, she buried her face into his shoulder. Ni-ki tensed up, but removed one hand from his pocket to place it on her back. “Don’t cry for me. I won’t be long,” he said lowly, stroking her back comfortingly before cupping the back of her head. But though regret was obvious in his actions, his calm voice still held fire.

Minyoung buried her face into his shoulder. She would definitely hold him to his words.

If Minyoung learned anything from the first test, it was that focusing on improving as a group only got them so far. Not only did it cause ugly conflicts, only a handful of them showed any individuality in the performance. Aside from synchronising the beat, formations, and angles, she felt the I-Landers needed to practice separately and figure out their own way to add colour to the performance. 

Because what mattered most in I-Land was the team score—and a strong team had strong individuals. So, when Fire was revealed as the song for Test 2, Minyoung only had one thing on her mind.

She had to be Part 3.  

The vocals of the part suited her higher range. The “flying” lift where she’d be raised in the air would be a hook point in the eyes of the judges if done right. And while she wasn’t a hundred percent sure she could pull off the higher, more visible part perfectly, she had the confidence to say she’d try her damn best. 

But of course, there was competition. 

Which, unfortunately for her, turned out to be Yang Jungwon. 

The boy himself hadn’t said anything about wanting the particular part, but K suggested they make him do it because his dance skills matched it very well, and he could deliver vocally as well. 

It was hard to argue with, but Minyoung wished K would at least ask if anyone else was interested in trying out before basically handing it to the younger boy. So when he asked if everyone agreed with it, she raised her hand in protest. 

“I’m interested in the part as well,” she said, making all heads turn towards her. Some of them seemed surprised that she broke the flow where the better performers got assigned the higher parts with no one to interrupt. 

She hadn’t challenged K or Heeseung taking the center parts—they deserved them. But this one? She wanted a shot.

Seon was the first to speak. “No, but this part…” he started, pausing when she locked eyes with him. Minyoung raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?” she questioned, voice soft as if warning him to watch his words. 

But before he could continue, K spoke up. “You’re really good at dancing, Minyoung. But I feel like Jungwon would suit the overall vibe of the part better,” he said, making her look at the younger boy. He had his lips pursed, expression seeming impatient like he just wanted to get this over with. She looked away the second his eyes met hers.

Yeona nodded from beside Jungwon. “Like, the gestures and steps kinda suit him better, Minnie,” she added. 

“Well, I’ll show you what I can do after I learn it and if you still think it doesn’t fit me, we can change the part later,” Minyoung shrugged, ignoring the eyes on her. She understood their reasoning but still wished for a chance. 

“It would waste time we could be using for practice, though.” K’s eyes were soft like he was talking to a child he was trying not to disappoint. “And we need every precious minute to make sure the result doesn’t end up the same a last time.”

A chorus of agreement from Seon, Yeona and Geonu followed his comment, as the others tensely watched the exchange.

Pursing her lips, Minyoung nodded, feeling slightly betrayed. It wouldn’t take more than a day for her to learn the main portions of the dance, and it was enough time to switch parts if it really didn’t suit her.

But fine, she supposed. It was a long shot anyway, considering she was yet to prove herself as a strong candidate.

Her interruption had introduced a change in the way the parts were distributed, with K and Seon asking if anyone was interested to compete even though they had suggested someone initially. Some of the existing I-Landers, and even some new I-Landers like Hana and Jiyoon raised their hands, following her example even though the recommended trainees ended up bagging them.

She spoke up for Parts 4, 5, but didn’t get either. When the next part was brought up, K looked straight at her before saying, “In my opinion, Minyoung should do this part.” 

Minyoung blinked, surprised to be offered a part without having to raise her hand for it. 

Yeona nodded, “I see the vision.”

“Anyone else interested?” Seon asked, earning a raised hand from Hana. 

“No one else?” he confirmed before adding, “Alright close your eyes girls. Show of hands if you think Minyoung should get it.” A pause. “Now, for Hana.” Another pause before, “Congratulations, Minyoung-ah.”

Minyoung bowed in her seat, surprised yet again but smiling as she clapped along with the rest.

Even though it wasn’t her first choice, Part 6 was higher and more visible than what she thought she’d get, especially after performing as Part 12 in the previous test. 

That alone put her in a better mood than she expected when she lost Part 3. 

So, after a quick bathroom break following the part distribution, Minyoung headed up the stairs to the individual practice room on the mezzanine to learn the basic choreography, newfound determination to make Part 6 her own fuelling her. 

Opening the glass door while looking down at her iPad, she almost bumped into the figure heading out. Quickly jumping back to avoid collision, she stepped aside to give way, only for the other person to mirror her. Looking up, she found a wide-eyed Jungwon, staring at her with raised brows like he wasn’t expecting her to move the exact way he did. 

Stepping the opposite side, Minyoung paused when Jungwon did the exact same, again. The two shifted back and forth awkwardly for a couple seconds before Minyoung held a hand up, moving back. “You can go,” she said, smiling lightly.

Jungwon opened his mouth, but paused to clear his throat. 

“I was going,” he said, almost curtly, as he quickly stepped past her and toward the stairs. 

Minyoung’s smile dropped as she stared at his back, brows furrowing in confusion and annoyance. Not even a Thank you?

His impatient look earlier and the interaction just now conflicted with how he had smiled at her on their first day in I-Land—a sharp turn from, “You seem nice” to, “Stay in your lane.”

Sighing sharply, she shook her head.

Whatever his problem was, she wasn’t going to let it disrupt her. She had a choreography to learn, details to figure out, a test to prove herself in, and zero time to waste on wondering what she did to warrant the change in his attitude.

A warm tteokbokki bowl and two friends by her side was how Minyoung expected to spend the evening. Crashing a mini group hangout and turning it into a big group hangout was not a part of the agenda—but there she was. 

Sunoo and Taeyong seemed to be deep into a story Jaebeom was telling, too engrossed to even notice the three enter before. 

Minyoung leaned towards Sunoo’s ear. “Mind if we crash the party?” She asked, snickering when the boy jumped in surprise. 

“Ahh, why would you do that?” He whined, earning more chuckles from the rest of them. 

Taeyong smiled from the bed beside Sunoo’s. “Hi Noona,” he waved, and Minyoung waved back, walking around to sit on the lounge chair. 

“What were you guys talking about?” Hana took a seat next to Sunoo, feeding a piece of the spicy rice cake to him when she found him staring at it. Minyoung frowned at them eating on the bed, but said nothing. 

“I-Land is very strange, Noona,” Jaebeom answered with a worry-filled voice. “The rules for the elimination are so strict and the way they practice here, too… No one is helping each other like back in Ground.” 

Hana hummed and swallowed her mouthful. “But we only had one iPad there, so there was no choice. Here we can practice at our own pace, eat whatever, wear whatever and rest whenever we want. I’d say I-Land is so much better.” 

“You only had one iPad at Ground?” Minyoung was the only one shocked when all five of them nodded. “How would th—“

“Hey Min!” A voice called out from the doorway. Minyoung turned to find Saebyeok peeking out before stepping in. “Can I borrow the charger for your FitBit? Mine’s… I don't know where mine is,” She sheepishly admitted, earning a nod from Minyoung. 

“Thanks!” Saebyeok called out as she turned around, almost bumping into two figures that had been standing outside the half-opened door. 

Jiyoon and Jihye gasped in sync as they bowed to the girl. “Sorry, sorry!” They chorused, eyes on Saebyeok before they realized she wasn’t alone. Peeking into the room slowly, they froze when six pairs of eyes stared back.

Jihye awkwardly shifted as Saebyeok left the room with a quiet, “Excuse me” and Jiyoon opened her mouth in a silent, “Oh.” 

Their reactions did not surprise Minyoung, with the way they stuck together the entire day of practice instead of mingling around, only nodding and staying silent otherwise whenever Heeseung gathered the I-Landers.

It must be hard for them to open up to new people, Minyoung supposed. 

“Hey, you two,” Hana smiled politely. The girls smiled slightly back, fidgeting as they meekly greeted Hana. 

“Do you want to join us? We were just chatting about Ground.” Hana continued, patting the space next to her. 

“Uh…” Jiyoon started, her hesitation obvious even though she stepped forward, unable to refuse. 

Jihye stood rooted to her spot, so Minyoung spoke up. “How was practice today, Jihye-unnie?” 

Jiyoon glanced back at Jihye, who tensed before glancing behind her like someone stood there. But she must have seen someone, because she perked up at the sight. 

“Oh! Yeona-unnie!” 

Minyoung watched as Jihye turned to fully face the older girl. “Can you teach me the dance for the bridge? I’ve been having a hard time.”

Yeona’s cheery voice was heard behind the door. “Sure! Now?” 

Jihye nodded rapidly, and Jiyoon chimed in too. “I need help too!”

And just like that, they both scurried out of the room without so much as a goodbye, leaving the occupants of the room in a state of confusion.

“Uh—what just happened?” Minyoung asked, flabbergasted and amused at the same time by how freaked out they were. 

Hana sighed like a tired mother. “I don’t know. They’ve both been a little closed-off since day one.” 

Minyoung shrugged. She understood. While she had never been one, she had enough friends who were introverts to know they needed time to adjust to new environments. 

So she didn’t take it personally.

She didn’t know yet, just how much of a misjudgement it was.

NOTE Posting this from my mobile while I’m at college, four hours from my exam lol. What are your thoughts on this chapter, especially the tension filled moments?

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TAGLIST ( 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 ) @queenriki7 ; @kangseulgithegreat ; @terryfiedgyu ; @d-dilemma ; @enhaslxt ; @loveyjisu ; @pinknjm ; @enzomi

© 𝐌𝐗𝐗𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐊𝐘 　　(　　𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽　　) 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗅𝗒 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝗎𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀

[secretlycursedd]

Can't stop thinking about how many sweet moments we missed out on because Jack wasn't a baby.

Dean would teach Sam how to prepare bottles and change diapers because Dean had a lot of experience from raising little Sam, while Sam had almost no contact with babies and only knew the theory without the practice.

"No, Sammy, try it on your wrist first," Dean instructs, cradling a fussy Jack in his arms while Sam checks to make sure the milk is not too hot, then hands the bottle to Dean, who deftly shifts Jack in his arms, feeding the bottle into the chubby little hands.

As Jack smacks his lips contentedly, looking up at Dean with his big eyes, Dean smiles softly, muttering to himself, "So, buddy, is it good? Yeah, I know. Just wait until you're old enough to eat hamburgers and hot dogs." Sam stifles a soft chuckle as he watches the sight before him.

Changing diapers is much more difficult than preparing food. Little Jack twists and grabs the box of wipes, yanking them out one by one and throwing them on the floor with interest.

"That's impossible," Sam breathes out resignedly, trying to simultaneously hold Jack down, push the baby powder away, and open the diaper, while Dean chuckles lightly, finally deciding to help his brother.

"Compared to you, Jack is a real sweetheart. I still haven't forgiven you for that time you peed on me."

"I was one year old, Dean."

"And even then you knew exactly what you were doing."

The nights were the hardest. The hunter life never allowed them the luxury of a healthy eight hours of sleep, but it seemed that little Jack was testing their strength.

At first, they took turns on duty. A portable crib on wheels was brought into the room of one of them and at first Jack fell asleep like any other child, but starting at two in the morning the baby began to whine, refusing a bottle and making it clear that he also didn’t need a diaper change.

The system of shifts lasted for three weeks until they finally came to an understanding of what Jack wanted.

The baby liked Dean's room much more than Sam's, and Dean couldn't help but be proud of that fact, raising an eyebrow meaningfully in Sam's direction when Jack instantly calmed down when he was in Dean's room. However, the room wasn't enough, and the baby slept much more peacefully with both of them present, sprawled out in the middle of the bed, while Dean and Sam settled down on either side of him, whispering.

"I remember when you were this little. You couldn't sleep without my finger in your palm," Dean tells him quietly, watching the baby fidget slightly in his sleep, his eyes nervously squeezing. Sam immediately hurries to put his big, warm hand on Jack's stomach, stroking it, and the baby immediately relaxes his previously drawn-together eyebrows.

"It's still a habit," Sam admits, stubbornly not looking up when Dean hums, wordlessly asking Sam to explain. "I still sleep better when you're around. It's hard to sleep without you," and this time Sam meets his gaze, watching as Dean studies his face, slowly moving his eyes, swallowing loudly.

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

Dean sounds disappointed, and it looks like he's about to lecture Sam, but little Jack lets out a long, whiny breath between them, and this time Dean reaches out, taking the little hand in his own gently, watching as Jack squeezes his thumb tightly in his little fingers, calming down.

Sam shrugs lightly, tilting his head to the side slightly. "Didn’t think it was that important".

"Of course it’s important, Sam," Dean argues immediately, trying to make his voice firmer, but because he's whispering it doesn't sound intimidating at all. "Everything about you is important to me. Always".

Sam can't think of anything to say to that.

He focuses his gaze on the way Jack continues to squeeze Dean's thumb in his hand, and instantly becomes frustrated that he doesn't have those memories of his own. He remembers Dean caring for him, but he can barely remember how. He knows it's stupid, almost no one has memories from that age, and yet, somewhere deep inside, he wishes he could remember holding Dean's finger to help him sleep.

"You can..." Dean begins, quickly clearing his throat and looking down at sleeping Jack. The baby seems like the safest place to look at right now. "You can come to me. We can sleep together if you need it. I don't mind".

Sam really wants to look at him, but he doesn't. Instead, he gently takes Jack's other hand in his own, smiling when the baby squeezes his finger as well, not letting go.

"We're practically sleeping together now," Sam tells him, even though he knows that's not what Dean meant.

Dean clicks his tongue loudly, causing Jack to flinch slightly, and Dean immediately softens, uttering a quiet “sorry, buddy” before looking at Sam. '"You know what I mean," Dean mutters. "You can think it's not important all you want, but you're my priority. Always. So just come over, okay?"

Sam hesitates slightly before nodding in agreement. Dean nods back for some reason, then lowers his head, which he'd been propping up with his hand, onto the pillow, closing his eyes. Sam watches Jack closely for a moment to make sure he's breathing and not pinching his little nose, but when Dean's free hand weaves gently through his hair, Sam doesn't bother to keep his heavy eyelids open. He follows Jack into sleep, lulled by Dean's gentle strokes and Jack's soft smacking sounds.

With a good enough feeding and sleeping schedule they fall into routine, watching the baby grow by leaps and bounds. Jack is teething, and soon they begin the process of introducing solid foods. Jack absolutely hates boiled broccoli that ends up on the floor (Sam blames Dean for this), but he loves cereal, which Dean soaks in milk for him (Sam doesn't believe it when Dean says that Sam loved it as a baby).

When Jack takes his first tentative steps, Sam and Dean hold their breath. They’re in the library, the tables and chairs pushed against the wall, and Sam is sitting on the floor, his long legs spread, his arms stretched out in front of him, while Dean holds Jack at the other end of the room, helping him to steady himself. Jack steps timidly at first, looking at Sam as if he is waiting for approval, and when Sam smiles widely and says, "Come here, sweetheart," Jack happily steps forward on his little chubby legs, falling into Sam's arms, while Dean claps his hands behind him and runs up to them, enveloping Sam and Jack in his arms.

That night, Jack sleeps soundly in his crib, cuddling the stuffed bear Sam bought for him in the baby section of the store.

"Do you remember when I took my first steps?" Sam asks quietly, watching the baby in the crib while Dean, who is lying behind him, tosses and turns, throwing his heavy arm around Sam's waist and pressing his nose into Sam's neck, exhaling loudly.

They've been sleeping together for months now, and Sam politely ignores the fact that Dean, in addition to his bed, gives him hugs, which help Sam sleep better than ever.

"Of course," Dean whispers into the back of his head, and Sam tries to suppress the shivers that rise up his body from Dean's deep, sleep-clouded voice. "Dad helped you to your feet, and I was waiting for you across the room, like you were waiting for Jack. You looked at me, called "Dee!" and came to meet me. You were in such a hurry that you tripped over your own feet and fell, immediately starting to cry, but Dad and I were so happy to see you take your first steps that we couldn't stop smiling. You were always a cute kid, Sammy," Dean tells him, and even without seeing his face, Sam knows his brother is smiling.

Dean pulls him closer, and Sam finds Dean's hand, lacing their fingers together. Jack twitches slightly in his crib, and Sam prepares to get up to make sure he's okay, but when the baby turns his head, Sam sees that Jack is smiling too, as if he somehow understands their conversation and can't help but smile just like Dean. Sam chuckles lightly.

"Sleep, Sammy," Dean whispers to him, and Sam obediently closes his eyes, clutching Dean's hand to his chest. Before Sam falls asleep, he whispers a soft "thank you for always taking care of me," and receives a light imprint of Dean's lips on his sensitive neck.

When Jack says his first word, they get into an argument.

This happens in the library. Dean and Sam are busy researching and finding new cases for active hunters, while Jack sits in his high chair, eagerly soaking cereal in milk himself, and then throwing it into his mouth. Small hands clap on the plastic table in front of him, and when the claps are replaced by a loud and ringing "Dada!" Sam and Dean simultaneously throw their heads up, looking at Jack with wide open eyes.

"What did you say, buddy?" Dean asks dully, and Sam feels how he holds his breath, freezing. But when Jack clearly and joyfully shouts "Dada!" again, Sam and Dean look at each other before laughing happily and taking turns kissing little Jack on his soft baby head.

However, the euphoria of this moment doesn’t last long, and within a few minutes Dean and Sam are actively arguing about who exactly Jack was talking to.

"He looked at me when he said ‘dada’ the second time," Sam argues, wiping milky streaks on the baby's face.

"But you don't know which of us he said it to the first time," Dean counters, pouring more cereal into the bowl of milk. Jack immediately hurries to stick his fingers into it, stealing a few cereals into his mouth. "Besides, he clearly wanted to say Dee, but he ended up saying Da."

"And how long have you been an expert in baby talk exactly?" Sam snaps, letting Jack grab his index finger and dip it into milk, stirring the soggy cereal.

"I raised you, so long enough! Your first word was Dee, just like Jack's. It's not my fault I have that effect on kids. If Jack had called you, he'd probably have said Mom. I think even a kid would have noticed your princess hair," Dean responds in the same tone, relaxing his hand as Jack tugs at his shirt sleeve.

They're too busy glaring at each other to notice Jack grabbing Dean's finger and bringing it up to Sam's, entwining them together. They both startle, looking at the baby, and when Jack holds their intertwined fingers tightly in his small hands and happily says "Dada!" again, lifting Sam and Dean's fingers from his cereal bowl for a second and then lowering them back down, Sam and Dean stare at Jack for a long moment, then look at each other, knowing the argument is over. Jack was clearly talking to the two of them.

That night, when Sam is back in Dean's warm arms, he gets two little kisses, one on the back of his neck as usual, and one on his cheek, and he knows it's an apology. He accepts it, pressing a kiss to the back of Dean's hand, pulling him closer.

Jack is learning new words, and now Sam and Dean try to include him in their conversations. When they go to the store to stock up on groceries and buy Jack new clothes (the boy is growing out of everything they have way too quickly), Jack happily points out the things he knows the names of, and Sam and Dean nod encouragingly, to which Jack giggles, clapping his hands.

In the vegetable aisle the child grimaces as Sam approaches zucchini, and Sam realizes with horror that Jack's face is an exact mirror of Dean's, who grimaces as Sam confidently places the vegetables in the cart.

"Gross," Jack tells Sam in all seriousness, while Dean nods, earning a light punch to the shoulder. The child needs his vegetables, and Dean is not helping him at all to ensure that Jack has a proper diet.

However, in the cereal section, Jack's face brightens and he vigorously bounces in the cart as Dean loads several boxes of his favorite cereal under Sam's disapproving gaze.

"You're spoiling him," Sam whines, but puts in a few bottles of milk anyway. Jack can eat solids, but the habit of soaking his cereal that Dean taught him hasn't gone away.

"Someone's got to be a good cop, Sammy," Dean smiles at him sweetly, and when Jack immediately repeats, "Sammy!" Dean laughs, kissing the baby on his chubby pink cheek.

When they get to the checkout, the older woman behind the counter smiles brightly at them, grinning at the way Jack is blowing raspberries.

"You have a very cute son," the woman tells them, and Sam immediately feels Dean tense up next to him.

It wasn't anything new, for some reason they never understood, people had always assumed they were a romantic couple, and over time it had become something of a routine. Most of the time, they'd calmly explain that they were brothers, getting an embarrassed apology in return, and sometimes, when they were in a good mood, they'd play along, making up a story about them being husbands traveling around the States, who'd gotten married a week ago and were still on their honeymoon, and couldn't keep their hands off each other. But no one had ever assumed they were fathers, and that was a little disconcerting.

Most of the time, if they were out with Jack, they weren't together. It seemed more sensible for one of them to stay with Jack at the playground while the other did the grocery shopping. Sam had caught a few interested glances from local mothers who were watching with affection as Sam pushed Jack on the swings. One time, the girl very actively offered her services as a nanny to Dean, explaining that it was 'surely not easy for him to be a single father to such a wonderful boy.' However, neither of them was sure what to do now.

Two men who would actively explain that this wasn't their child would probably attract a lot more attention than a quiet gay couple with their young son. But Dean is tense and wary next to him, and Sam picks up on his nervousness, trying to pull himself together enough to answer the woman, who had also begun to notice their hesitation.

The awkward silence between them is broken by Jack, who grabs Sam's hand with his small fingers and simultaneously tugs at Dean's jacket, loudly saying "Daddys!", to which the woman immediately laughs again, nodding in agreement.

"That's right, your dads are very lucky to have you. But it seems like they could use a few hours of extra sleep," she says understandingly, looking at Sam, and he finds the strength to smile and nod slightly.

On the way home, Jack looks out the window with interest, pointing at all the objects he knows the names for. The music from the radio mixes with happy children's exclamations, which consist of "car!", "tree!", "cat!" and Sam supports him, but he looks warily towards Dean, who still hasn't said a word. Dean's hands are nervously gripping the steering wheel, his eyebrows are drawn together, and Sam wants to ask what's wrong, but decides to wait until they get to the bunker.

When the groceries are put away, and Jack is sitting comfortably on Sam's lap, looking at the pictures in the book, Sam again quickly glances at the silent Dean before clearing his throat and deciding to break the silence first.

"What's wrong?" Sam says firmly, and when Dean slowly raises his green eyes to him, Sam already knows that Dean wants to wave him off, but he doesn't give him that chance. "And don't tell me that everything is okay. You haven't said a word since we left the store, so spill."

Jack points to the colorful page in his arms, confidently saying "ball!" and Sam is distracted for a second, running his hand through Jack's soft hair approvingly and giving a soft "that's right, sweetheart" before turning his attention back to Dean, who now looks scared and unsure, and Sam doesn't like it when his brother looks like he's lost confidence in himself.

"Is it because of what that woman said?" Sam asks, and when Dean looks down silently, Sam knows he's hit the nail on the head. "Come on, Dean, it's not that serious. People always think we're a couple, it's not new."

"But it is, Sam," Dean argues quietly, clenching and unclenching his fingers. "What she said is new. And it's true."

And it seems that when Dean says these words out loud, he begins to believe them completely, which scares him even more.

"What exactly is true, Dean?"

"Jack... We are his parents, Sammy. This is not a child that we need to babysit for a while until his mother comes and takes him home. Because no one is coming for him, he is our responsibility until the very end," Dean tries to explain to him, but Sam still doesn’t understand what exactly the problem is.

They knew about it from the very beginning. They knew that Kelly most likely would not survive the birth, they knew that raising a baby would fall entirely on their shoulders. And Sam also knows that this is not what scares Dean at all. Sam knows that Dean loves Jack, he sees it in every movement and look in Dean's eyes, in every caring wipe of the baby's mouth and in every soft kiss that Dean leaves on Jack's forehead every night before falling asleep. It's something else, something deep inside that Dean doesn't want to share even with him.

"What are you trying to say, Dean?" Sam tries carefully, not taking his eyes off his brother. Sam feels Jack put the book down, replacing it with Sam's hand, examining the bracelet on his thin wrist.

Dean hesitates for long minutes, but Sam waits patiently for his answer. He wants to hug him. He wants to take away all of Dean's worries, to never see him so broken and lost again, but to do that, he needs to know what exactly is bothering Dean.

Dean shakes his shoulder, looking sadly at Jack, who is playing with the leather straps on Sam's wrist. "I'm a bad parent, Sammy, and Jack deserves better."

Dean's words hang in the sticky, uncomfortable silence between them. Even Jack seems to go quiet in Sam's arms, as if letting the adults talk, and Sam feels his heart give a painful thump in his chest.

"That's not true, Dean," Sam tells him firmly, but he can see that Dean doesn't believe him.

"That's true, Sammy, and we both know it. I grew up under Dad's command my entire life. Emotions are weaknesses, tears are a privilege for girls, arguments are settled faster with fists, shoot first, think later. I grew up with those rules, and I don't want Jack to grow up like that. But I just don't know any other way, and..." Dean waves his hands helplessly, not knowing how to continue his thought.

Sam feels the traitorous tears creeping up his eyes, and he quickly blinks them away.

"You raised me, Dean," Sam tells him, ignoring the tremor in his own voice. "You were more of a father to me than dad was, and all I remember from my childhood is how you cared for me and loved me no matter what. You were the one who treated my knees when I fell off my bike, you were the one I told about my first girlfriend, and you were the one who taught me everything I know. And I wouldn't trade that for any picture-perfect dad."

Sam sniffles and notices the wet streaks of tears on Dean's face, which he immediately hurries to wipe away, lowering his head and resting his elbows on his thighs.

"And I know you love Jack. And I know Jack loves you, too. And the fact that you don't want to raise Jack the way our father raised us says a lot. This already shows that you are a good parent."

Sam pauses for a moment, catching his breath and quickly wiping the tears from his own face.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Dean. So don't ever doubt yourself or what you do. You hold our family together and I will forever be grateful to you for that."

Sam watches in pain as Dean's shoulders shake with his silent sobs and he's about to cross the distance between them to wrap his arms around his brother, but Jack beats him to it. The little boy carefully lifts himself from Sam's arms and then slowly walks up to Dean, looking worriedly into his downcast face, cupping it in his small hands. When Dean finally lifts his head to look at Jack, Sam holds back a sob. He was never able to hide his emotions when he saw Dean in such a state.

Jack studies Dean's face for a few more seconds, and then he stands up on his tiptoes, kissing Dean's prickly salty cheek and saying a soft, warm "love you, daddy," before his small hands reach for Dean's neck, pulling him into a clumsy, childish hug.

Sam watches as Dean cries harder as he holds Jack close, but Sam is relieved to realize that Dean is crying out of happiness.

Dean kisses the top of Jack's head, grinning wetly. "Love you too, buddy," Dean whispers in his ear, and Jack giggles happily.

Sam comes over to them at that moment, wrapping his long arms around the both of them, resting his forehead on Dean's temple, and when Dean turns his head slightly, rubbing his nose against Sam's, Sam mirrors his wet grin, leaving light kisses on the top of Jack's head and Dean's forehead, smiling.

That night, when Sam is almost asleep, he feels Dean bury his face in his long hair and whisper "love you so much." Sam replies "love you more" and hears Dean chuckle.

Soon, Jack's favorite word becomes "kisses." He loudly demands them in the morning, squeezing between the sleeping Dean and Sam and waking them up with an enthusiastic "kisses!", patiently waiting for Sam to sleepily kiss the top of his head, and then waking Dean, who will throw Jack down on the bed and start kissing his face while Jack bursts into laughter.

The next time Jack demands his share of kisses is at lunch, while Sam and Dean are busy working, while Jack is actively playing with cars in the library, rolling them around the shelves of old books.

"Kisses!" Jack proclaims, walking up to Sam and holding out his hands. Sam immediately looks up from his laptop, smiling warmly at Jack and kissing the top of his head. Jack then quickly runs around the table, approaching a focused Dean and exclaiming "Daddy, kisses!" to which Dean follows Sam's example, pushing his laptop aside and pulling Jack onto his lap, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek, to which Jack laughs, touching Dean's stubble and saying "tickles." Dean looks at him a little guilty, but kisses him again, eliciting another laugh from Jack.

Soon Jack falls asleep in Dean's arms, while Sam watches as Dean carefully places Jack on his shoulder, then reaches for a blanket that's lying on a nearby chair and covers Jack with a practiced motion, holding the baby close.

"We can put him to bed," Sam suggest, to which Dean refuses.

"He's not bothering me," Dean says, but he doesn't go back to work, instead carefully running his fingers through Jack's light hair, and Sam knows he's doing it so as not to disturb the baby's nap.

"And I still insist that you spoil him," Sam tells him, pushing his laptop aside as well and instead admiring the scene in front of him.

Dean raises his eyebrows, giving Sam a challenging look.

"First of all, I wasn't the one who bought him three toy cars at once," Dean tells him seriously, and Sam feels a slight blush creeping up his face. "And second of all, you keep saying that, but Jack still gets all his behavior from you."

And when Sam looks at Dean blankly, Dean has already turned his gaze back to Jack, smiling at the cute way Jack pouts in his sleep.

"What do you mean?" Sam decides to clarify, and waits a few minutes before Dean gives him his answer.

"This," Dean tells him, nodding at the sleeping Jack in his arms. "When you were little, you used to fall asleep on me all the time. Sometimes you'd even come over with a blanket just to sleep in my arms," ​​Dean tells him with a smile, and Sam starts to remember.

Christmas Eve, which they celebrated at Bobby's house. Dean spent his time in front of the old TV, waiting for Christmas movies, and when Sam came to him, holding a warm blanket in his hands and shyly lowering his eyes to the floor, Dean accepted him with a warm smile, letting Sam climb into his lap and curl up on his chest.

"And don't even get me started on 'kisses,'" Dean continues, and this time Sam tenses, raising an eyebrow questioningly. Yes, Dean often hugged little Sam, but Sam doesn't remember Dean kissing him at all. Dean looks at him with undisguised surprise. "Don't tell me you don't remember. You were always demanding kisses, even worse than Jack. You'd come up to me any time you had a free moment, look at me with those big puppy eyes, point your finger where you wanted me to kiss you and say, 'Dee, kiss me.'"

"And you did what I asked you to do?" Sam asks breathily, and now it's Dean's turn to blush slightly.

He shrugs carefully, so as not to wake Jack.

"I'm a weak man, Sammy, sue me. I tried to say no to you a couple of times, but you immediately started crying and... I could never stand the sight of you crying, so I kissed you every time you asked. When we got older and you went to school, you stopped asking me, but before that it was all the time." Dean finally looks up, and when he notices the scared look on Sam's face, Dean quickly grins, defusing the situation. "No need to be embarrassed, Sammy, that was sweet. Your charms always worked on me, I'm pretty sure if you asked me to kiss you right on the lips now, I'd do it without hesitation." And when Dean realizes what he just said, he quickly bites his tongue, his eyes widening.

Sam feels his own face begin to burn even more, and he quickly lowers his head, hiding it from Dean. There's an awkward silence between them, and Sam waits a few seconds before clearing his throat and nervously tucking his hair behind his ears.

"I'm going to go make dinner. Jack's probably going to be hungry when he wakes up."

He doesn't look at Dean as he gets up from the table and leaves the library, but Dean's words are still loud and clear in his head as he cooks Jack's favorite letter-shaped pasta.

During dinner, Jack looks at each letter on his plate with interest before putting it in his mouth. Dean makes up a few simple words for him, then recites them letter by letter, smiling when Jack repeats them. Sam can feel the uncomfortable tension between them, but he tries to ignore it, eating his own pasta.

Jack demands kisses before bed, and Dean and Sam take turns doing so, watching as a contented and smiling Jack closes his eyes and falls asleep.

Sam gets into bed a little nervously and twitchily, and he's almost certain that Dean won't touch him tonight, but when the lights go out in the room and Dean gets into bed after him, Sam breathes a sigh of relief when he feels Dean's usual arm around his waist, pulling him closer. Sam feels like he should say something, the words are on the tip of his tongue, but when Dean lifts himself up slightly on his elbow and leaves two smeared kisses on Sam's face (one on his cheek and one next to his lips, too close) Sam understands his request and decides to remain silent, squeezing Dean's hand in his. He falls asleep with a small smile on his lips.

Over time, Jack becomes more grown up and shows more interest, and now Dean and Sam can watch not only children's cartoons with him, but also adult films.

"I'm telling you again, Dean, Jack is too little to watch ‘Final Destination’," Sam repeats tiredly, sitting down in one of the soft armchairs in Dean's cave (they really should come up with another name for this room).

Jack climbs onto Dean's empty armchair, immediately looking with interest into the large bowl of popcorn that Dean places right in front of him.

"Not little, Daddy Sam," Jack argues childishly with him, while Dean grins contentedly, raising his eyebrows meaningfully in Sam's direction.

"That's right, Jack, tell him," Dean encourages the kid, and when Sam gives him his best "bitch look," Dean snorts under his breath again, but puts the movie aside, instead settling on ‘Nanny McPhee’, which he and Jack have watched a few times already, but they both know is one of the boy's favorites.

Dean settles into the armchair with Jack, letting him sit comfortably into his lap and lean back against his chest. Jack’s legs dangling freely and he stares intently at the large screen in front of him. Sam watches it for a few seconds, enjoying the view, before settling himself, tucking his long legs under himself and scooping up a handful of popcorn.

They settle into a comfortable silence, the three of them munching on popcorn and watching the events unfold on the screen, but about halfway through the movie, Sam feels his head begin to droop to the side, his eyelids slowly closing. At first, he tries to fight it, shaking his head and blinking hard, trying to keep the sleep from creeping up on him, but Dean's cave is warm and smells delicious of popcorn, the movie on the TV is nice and soothing, and the sight of Dean and Jack sitting next to him, looking like they really were father and son, gives Sam comfort, and soon he moves to the very edge of his armchair, laying his head on Dean's shoulder and closing his eyes.

He feels Dean flinch slightly at first, but then relaxes, turning his head to the side and pressing a kiss to the top of Sam's head.

"Tired?" Dean asks quietly, still not moving away any further. His nose is combing through Sam's hair, and Sam can't help the pleasant shivers that run through his body. He nods silently at Dean's question, moving even closer, nuzzling his own nose into Dean's neck, feeling his brother's arm wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer. "You can go to sleep if you want. Jack and I will finish the movie and then we'll come over," Dean suggests, but Sam immediately frowns, shaking his head.

"I don't want to be without you," Sam admits, sounding just like Jack, but he doesn't pay it any mind. He feels Dean's smirk next to his face, and he tries to suppress a smile when he feels Dean begin to leave light kisses on his face. One lip print on his forehead, two on his closed eyelids, one on the tip of his nose and one on his cheek, but when it's Sam's lips that are next, Dean stops, hovering near Sam's face but not taking the next step.

For a moment, they share the same air, neither speaking. Sam can hear Jack laughing at what's happening on the screen, but more clearly he can hear his own heartbeat, which only gets louder when Sam slowly opens his eyes, meeting Dean's intense gaze, who looks tense and scared, but Sam thinks that the fact that his brother hasn't pulled away from him yet is a good sign.

"Sammy..." Dean begins quietly, choosing his words. "I don't think this is a good idea."

Sam has time to panic. He runs his eyes over Dean's face, trying to find something to latch onto, but he quickly realizes that Dean is still not pulling away, and he realizes that they've both already lost this fight.

"You said my charms always worked on you," Sam says carefully, watching Dean's face, and when he doesn't see the frown or the disapproving curve of his mouth, Sam smiles, breathing out a quiet "kiss me," and Dean doesn't need to be told twice.

The kiss he leaves on Sam's lips is careful and soft, tastes like popcorn and soda, and Sam can't help but smile stupidly as he kisses back, pulling Dean closer by the collar of his sweatshirt, obediently parting his lips when Dean's tongue runs over his bottom lip. Sam tries to suppress a small moan when Dean's tongue touches his own, and he feels Dean shudder, and Sam only relaxes further, reassured that he's not the only one feeling the warmth and the absolute sense that everything is finally in place.

They're interrupted by Jack's voice. The kid watches them closely, then looks at the TV and asks in surprise, "Daddy's wedding?" immediately pointing his finger at the screen where the main characters are kissing at the altar, and Sam and Dean simultaneously snort under their breath, looking at a still confused Jack.

Sam rests his head on Dean's shoulder again, closing his eyes as he feels Dean kiss his temple, then turning to Jack. "You can say that, buddy," Dean tells him, and Jack seems more than happy with that answer, because he giggles joyfully, then squirms in Dean's lap, leaving one smudged kiss on each of Sam's and Dean's cheeks.

That night, they let Jack sleep in the same bed with them, and as the baby snores sweetly on Dean's pillow, while tightly clutching Sam's shirt in his hands, neither Dean nor Sam can stop smiling. And as Sam begins to fall asleep after Jack, he feels a light kiss on his lips, reaching forward in response, finding Dean's hand and squeezing it in his own.

Perhaps Dean was right, and Jack deserved better parents than them, but Sam knows for sure that he wouldn't trade what he has now for anything else.

[missmargomuse616]

Margo regards loki seriously at her reply. " I am well aware that good people can do bad things and vice versa. Of course I dont think of you as a saint by any means but I definitely wouldn't call you a monster either." She replied with a shrug. " there are things in my past that I have done and wished I could take it back, nevertheless we all have to live and learn right?"

" Sounds good." Margo replied regarding the topic of training and maintaining healthy weight. Her eyes did take in Loki’s slim physique and while she still find it difficult to believe that she could eat anything and not gain a pound it was still rather hard for her own self control when it came to eating right daily. Most days margo would eat a balanced meal and workout the best she can. She was a curvy woman but thankfully she did have a high metabolism.

" oh okay.." she responded with caution at the new information. Could it be that bad that loki didn't want her to see. Margo have seen so much already that perhaps this time it would be best not to know every detail about who loki is. At the same time she was highly curious. Her eyes were still closed mostly just focused on the strange sensation of the bitter cold on her neck. She tilted her head and moaned at the odd yet satisfying feeling. Trying not to lean too much on said hand, didn't want any frostbite after all.

She lets out a heavy sigh. " yeah yeah, I'm be sure to let you know if nothing changes. I will make sure I call the doctor as soon as tomorrow for a check up. I just don't want to be bothered with going to a hospital tonight." Her lips curled up a bit in a grin. " so when you say species..and when you said you were adopted. Wherever you were from must've been a very cold place to be. I assume you would love the winter." Margo said while trying to make small talk between them.

" That would explain alot actually, of how caring you could be. Something tells me she knew who you would become. And from what I see so far..I think your good." Her voice almost dropped at the last comment yet she was honest. It maybe too early to confess that to loki and not address the bad things they have done but the more she was around the more margo believe loki to be good although very powerful and unpredictable.

Leading to the next topic she nodded her head in agreement with an eye roll. " and that lies the problem, and I know all too well about the unfortunate epidemic of us weighing more than we should because of poor nutrition value and large portion size meals. If only it didn't taste as half as good than it wouldn't be the issue."

Oh you like if you've been to a specific place before it would be easier for you to teleport to that location? Like say if I never been to las Vegas or other place for out of the country. Would it be more difficult to travel to those places? I guess i would assume teleporting to another planet would be highly difficult right?" She asked loki with a tilt to her head.

Margo glanced at the clock as well. Seeing that 10 or 11 minutes has past since this feeling started. Drinking another sip of her water as she tried not to panic. Not really wanting to vist the hospital or having to answer even more questions that she had to make up what happened earlier.

Margo did as she was told with a bit of apprehension. The air suddenly felt like she was standing outside in winter. As if on instinct she would flinch alittle from the very cold sensation on her neck. She kept her eyes close but her face twisted in a frown at first, wondering what was it that loki was using on her neck. Willing herself to relax some, not leaning towards the unknown coldness but not pulling away either. Whatever it was, the effect seems to start working. " mmm, it's weird but..I think it's doing the trick. Definitely colder than my ice pack." She told loki as she rolled her shoulders.

[aroaessidhe]

I need to get better at posting about aspec books as I read them, not just quietly adding them to my database and mentioning in the bottom of my reviews lol so here's the last few months [no order]

The Keeper of Lonely Spirits - cozy fantasy. the MC is likely acespec - he's only been interested in two people in 200 years, mostly uncomfortable about it otherwise. (& I think I saw the author mention this also). He's gay and also immortal - and elderly, not like an immortal-20-year-old, which is nice. It's vague/brief enough that I probably would not read it for aceness though.

I finally read the Villains duology, everyone knows about it, it's solid, only a brief direct mention of his asexuality in book 2 but the vibes are there throughout.

Be The Sea - a slow character focused scififantasy, with a demisexual (nonbinary, autistic) MC, and an ace SC. asexuality is discussed quite a bit in the book. lots of things are discussed. the book is mostly discussions.

The Fallow Year / Holy Terrors - end of the little thieves trilogy! Vanja and Emeric are still demisexual. they both explore some other relationships in TFY - I've seen some opinions that it felt 'not very demi' of them but imo the way it was depicted felt pretty clear on the difference of attraction vs action? I would have been happy with not as much focus on their relationship in the latter books but it's fine it's a good series

This Ends in Embers - end of a YA fantasy duology with dragons and sisters. one MC is demi. it's only briefly brought up but she has a romance subplot that it's lightly woven into.

Kiss Me, Maybe - contemporary romance with a greyace lesbian MC. I wrote a bit in my review here, it's not bad

The End Crowns All - YA Cassandra/Helen Greek retelling fantasy with a sex-favourable ace lesbian MC. bit too long and slow for me, but her ace journey was nice.

Wearing The Lion - heracles retelling, aroace author, athena (minor character) is alloace which is briefly discussed in a scene. probably won't put this in my database, just mentioning it here tho

Cradle and Grave - postapoc horror with an aroace character - just a single mention. no romance.

The Ocean Hugs Hard - historical mystery w a bit of cosmic horror, ace man MC. the depiction of his asexuality felt pretty true to the historical setting and was decent and complex, just didn't love the book.

Limitless: Poetry of an Aromantic & Asexual Journey - what it says on the tin. i'm not really a poetry person

What Wakes The Bells - YA fantasy with a demisexual girl MC, m/f. I liked how it emphasised the friendship aspect of their relationship just as much. her brother is also aroace. the book was just okay.

We Are Villains - YA mystery/thriller from Kacen Callender. the main MC is aroace, briefly explored. very glad for more Black aspecs from a Black author! the book was.....okay.

Vagabonds! - great Nigerian contemporary fantasy with a couple of ace/aroace coded characters in the ensemble cast, though only really discussed in a few paragraphs. very good book.

Unbury The Bones / Boneless - a couple very short cozy fantasy mystery novellas about an aromantic vampire & the werewolf who's trying so so hard to be their friend

That’s What She Said - contemporary novel about two friends in their 20s, one is demisexual. it is very focused on her demisexuality which is done pretty well imo, unfortunately the other MC is arospec coded and then villainised for it (aromanticism is never brought up. it's just commitment issues or whatever, eyeroll)

The Chronicles of Nerezia - not new, I just read the most recent two books. 3 aroaces and a lesbian going on adventures and playing so many board games and trying to save the world

Come Drink With Me - chinese fairytale vibe novella about two immortals who live/work at an opera house, who are both aromantic. this isn't new I just reread it bc i've been meaning to for a while! read my bestie's books 🫵

Children of Ruin - unexpected major character in book 2 of this trilogy is mentioned to be asexual (implied aro). very much the asocial mad scientist stereotype and only mentioned the once, I wouldn’t really call this good representation. But I do like this kind of character and I also liked the books, so,

Black Salt Queen - again unexpected, a side character is an aroace woman. (just mentioned once). fingers crossed POV in book 2? idk

A Stage Over Ruthless Stars - YA sci-fi with an aroallo MC and gay MC. his being aro is pretty much just mentioned the once. the other MC also expresses disinterest in amatonormative 'when you settle down with a partner in the future' rhetoric. no romance.

Hallowed Be Her Flesh - another monster romance/erotica from emryn bird, sapphic with an ace MC and asexual-species angel LI

a couple books I've heard/ been reminded about recently and are on my hopefully-near-future tbr:

The Star Crossed Empire - space opera with an ace MC

The Map And The Territory - high fantasy with aroace MC(s?), been vaguely on my tbr for ages but I just got a copy.

A Crimson Covenant - sapphic vampire/werewolf romance, I believe one is demisexual

Threads of the City - demiromantic ace MC

Demon Song - an ace MC, I think

That Devil Ambition - it's a linsey miller book I'm sure there's an ace girl in there somewhere

Rising Ashes - Fallen Thorns sequel, aroace MC

One Morning Sun - book 3 in the Sãoni Cycle! aroallo & alloace MCs

(there are obviously MANY more I know about these are just. I do actually plan to read these soon)

[sillygoofyqueer]

"Hey, Four, what about those oneshots/LH update/TH update/other works/education you need to focus on?" *looks at you in disgust*...so anyway back to the mad scientist AU- Lan Wangji is struggling to even walk on the uneven terrain, let alone clamber down rope - the only reason he manages to get down is because of the typical arm strength that people proclaim the Lan to have. Even then, Jin Zixuan is waiting at the bottom like he was half ready to catch him which is...nice, he supposes. (He's pretty sure Nie Huaisang put him up to it.) All warmth he feels at the surprising comradery is soon cut short when Wen Chao says that they were going to bleed one of the disciples in order to lure out the mystery monster they're hunting. Then Wen Chao's...mistress says that they should use Luo Qingyang, and people actually move to do it.

Before he (and Jin Zixuan) can step to her defence, Wei Wuxian's voice rings out from where he's perched on top of a large boulder in the middle of the lake, proclaiming that "no monster would be interested in dirty Jin blood!" Xue Yang, who seems to cling to him, moves to slice open his own palm with a dagger, but Wei Wuxian's hand reaches out to casually halt the blade. Of course, his blood is spilled by this, and everyone seems to hold their breath as they look around the room. Nothing happens for a few moments, before there is a sudden rumbling as the boulder that Xue Yang and Wei Wuxian are on seems to move, and a head raises up to stare at the two on its back.

While Lan Wangji (despite his best efforts) hopes that the monster will just eat the two before they can react, Wen Zhuliu moves as if to grab them, but Wei Wuxian barely shakes his head before the older man is freezing in place. The room is deathly silent. Arrows are trained on this monster from all sides. Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang are staring into the face of death, the older boy with one arm thrown in front of Xue Yang as if to protect him. Then someone makes a sound in the crowd and one of the Wen soldiers accidentally looses an arrow at the monster, causing it to rear back and knocking the unfortunate boys into the lake below.

All hell breaks loose. People are screaming, the Wen make an effort to attack the monster but it becomes quickly clear that it sees their attacks as nothing more than inconveniences, Xue Yang is throwing soggy talismans from a perch nearby and Wei Wuxian is-..where is Wei Wuxian? Lan Wangji expects him to be fighting either the monster or the rebelling disciples (yes there is a sword in his hand, no it is not his own), but he looks over just in time to spot the boy taking a blow from a branding iron that was meant for Luo Qingyang of all people. His cry rings out before becoming lost in the sounds of battle, just as the Wens seem to retreat as one. Wen Zhuliu takes only one look back (his expression filled with rare concern) before dragging Wen Chao and his mistress along.

Wei Wuxian, despite his injury and the fact that he has been left behind, takes initiative and practically orders everyone to move deeper into the caves. Lan Wangji would never dare to stoop so low as obeying a Wen in normal situations, but really it's just a logical suggestion and he would have done it anyway, regardless of what Wei Wuxian said. It is very obvious that Xue Yang and Wei Wuxian are very outnumbered when it comes to enemies, and Wei Wuxian's jaw is clenched against the pain of the burn upon his chest. It would be so easy to get rid of these psychopaths. However, it would also not be honourable to strike a man while he is down, as the saying goes - plus, he may be their only ticket out of there. It seems that everyone else has similar thoughts (except one impossibly cocky Lan disciple who almost ends up skewered on the end of Xue Yang's blade).

The duo separate themselves from the rest of the group in this new cave, sitting beside one another and muttering about something or other while using a dagger to draw something in the dirt. The rest of the disciples talk amongst themselves, trying to figure out a way to get out of this hellish situation, and Lan Wangji is just trying to maintain his composure while sitting down in an attempt to ease the throbbing pain in his leg. The two 'groups' don't try and interact with each other until Luo Qingyang hesitantly makes her way over, followed by Jin Zixuan (who is acting as a guard of sorts probably), and asks why Wei Wuxian took the blow for her. "It's wrong to attack someone for trivial reasons, and violence for the sake of violence is something I won't stand for," he says it casually, as though he isn't still bleeding from the chest, "plus, I never liked her anyway." It's honestly shocking to hear of a Wen with (relatively) good morals, and it leaves Lan Wangji reeling as Luo Qingyang silently hands over a perfume bag and retreats. (Yes yes "it's still going?!?!!" THIS IS THE BASIS OF AN IMPORTANT TURNING POINT OKAY. GOTTA GIVE IT TIME TO WORK. Anyway after I finish the cave scene I'm going to focus on how the Wen siblings play into all this (and Nie Huaisang, but that's to be explained))

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Hi besties pspspsp graphic design besties do we like this logo for my etsy. Like if I were to get logo stickers and stuff for shipping. Do we like this