#I don’t know why I’ve been brainrotting over these guys lately but it’s funs

[sobashahzadi]

yeah so babygirl right here

[eternalfics]

hi, this is the anon who sent regarding the elysia!reader x saiki ask!!

elysia!reader is an elegant, sweet, calm and cheerful person who is always positive, they're described as someone who "enjoys everything", they often flirt and tease their peers here and there + they're a little egoistic (knows that they're pretty, cute n shit like teruhashi for example)

when they don't like someone she passive aggressively and lightheartedly insult them in a way

so they're basically like teruhashi except that they're a really selfless person + is aggressively kind to everyone!! it's only a summary of elysias character but i hope this cleared it up to you!!

saiki with a sweet! reader

summary: saiki with his annoying true love 😘

a/n: okay, anon. I know I’ve been lazy lately but yk ur girl she just had to snooze for a bit 😴 BUT IM BACK AND READY TO FEED UR SAIKI BRAINROTS 😜 (a bit hyper too)

okay like the angel you are, your very nice to saiki (why wouldn’t you be? 🤨). as saiki’s s/o, it’s your job to- AHEM

compliment him every second of his life

be the extroverted partner in this relationship 😊

be the definition of an angel

bond with his parents 😉 (might aswell leave you if you don’t)

DO NOT TALK TO TORITSUKA

and many more! so let’s make headcanons for those erm- ✨rules✨ that I made perfectly for you.

COMPLIMENTS: who likes compliments? I do! anyway, compliments are a sort of good and bad thing for your relationship. there’s times where saiki feels down and his insecurities take over which is where you come in! instantly hyping him up. (ur amazing) and there is also times where saiki’s in his ✨confident era✨ (that’s what you call it, I think he’s getting tired of it 😭) and maybe he just wants a little bit of getting spoiled (rarely). but!! there’s also times when you are down and kinda upset. he’s used to your cheerful and happy personality! and he’d rather keep it that way too. so sometimes he just does a little bit of ✨speaking into ur mind✨ (ik I added too many sparkles, stop)

Scenario/Blurb

“Did you do something with your hair?” the voice randomly ringed in your head. You jumped, and looked around only to see Saiki putting his elbow on the table while he rested his head on his hand. You instantly move your hand up to wave at him cheerfully. “You noticed! You aren’t looking so bad either,” you thought back at him. You swear you saw the side of his mouth turn up..

MBTI: yay, we’re on personality! fun fact: saiki is an INTP I am too, this is a sign we’re supposed to be together 🤫 . it’s expected to you to be the extrovert of the relationship right? well it’s right! 🤪 but sometimes it’s a struggle-

saiki often panics (mentally) in public if he loses you. you’re like the fan in a hot place, the light in the dark to him, so you can’t just leave him!

sometimes, you encourage him to try something new! e.g: maybe a new outfit when you guys are going out/ going out with friends. he wonders how does he say yes every time 🤔

Note: Ik this isn’t enough soo I’ve decided prob tomorrow or something that I’ll edit my post and you guys get more! Deal? 🤓

Update: so.. it’s been like more than 3 months.. I don’t think I’m ever gonna finish this ❤️❤️🥰

[writingssummit]

𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐬 !

haikyuu as dads!

find the mha version here - bnha as dads !

content: fluff, the boys with children. mentions pregnancy. aged up!

characters: bokuto, daichi, sugawara, lev, and kuroo.

a/n: i’ve been feeling very soft and even though i don’t even really like kids lol, this prompt make me so warm and happy :’) keep in mind that I’m not super far into haikyuu, so i don’t know a lot about the timeskip- sorry !! also a bit messy and unorganized.

so without further ado, here are some soft scenarios and headcanons for each :D

bokuto !

Pleaseeee, we all know he’d be such a good dad!!

You’re tired? Don’t worry, he can watch them while you rest!

Can and WILL play with them for hours.

And of course, he has the energy to keep them preoccupied. This man has more energy than I ever will on 2 cups of coffee with 3 shots of espresso in each.

Mans probably would want a bigger family, but of course as long as you were fine with it.

Thinking maybe 3+. He just wants to have that big family to share with you :’) aww

When you’re pregnant, he’s all over you. Protective to the point of it being a little overwhelming, but he means well.

Pokes your belly a little. Not harshly, but in a loving, gentle way.

“That’s my baby. Right in there.”

Probably cries a little when your baby bump shows.

More so during your first pregnancy, but he still holds that same emotion with the others.

He does NOT know what to do the first time.

“THEY’RE CRYING, Y/N WHAT DO WE DO??”

When the kid/s start getting older, oh lord. He’s such a sucker for them.

Probably gives them ice cream or sneaks candy when you aren’t in the room, even though IT’S ALMOST TIME FOR BED.

I’m sorry, but he cannot and will not be able to help with homework. I’m sorry but it’s true.

If your kid/s have a passion, he’s 100% for it.

Dance? He’ll go to all of the recitals he can make. Volleyball? Even better. Writing? He’ll sit in front of them and have them read it out to him like it’s a bedtime story.

I don’t think he’d be a good cook, so whenever he takes over for dinner, everyone is like “Oh no. Dad’s cooking again.”

Overall, 100/10 dad. Supportive, and does his best. Good boyo <3

daichi !

I think he’d be a good dad too :D

He was kind of just a natural father, so it’s expected.

I think that he originally wanted to bring up the topic of kids to you at some point, but he was hesitant since he didn’t know if you were ready.

So of course, you beat him to the conversation.

He’s very happy that you want to start a family too. :)

I think he’d want a smaller family, maybe 1-2 kids.

When you test positive, he’s kind of in shock for a moment.

“We’re going to have a kid-”

Like duh lmao he put it in you

Definitely calls Suga up to tell him the news.

Is actually very interested in shopping for a baby. He needs a few pointers but he’s got the enthusiasm, so A for effort bby

He’s decently used to having a small child running around him screaming, he had little siblings so yeah

Has a bit more structure than bokuto, but he’s still able to break.

He’d do damn near anything for his kid/s.

He has his moments where he wants to spend alone time with just you.

Decent homework helper, but I feel like he’d be that one parent who goes “This wasn’t how I was taught to do this”, or “Why did they change that??”

Again again, supportive dad.

But also supportive of you <3

sugawara !

Being a teacher, he’s surrounded by kids all the time.

Basically, he is also used to having screaming children within his vicinity

I could never omg how do you do that Suga

At first he didn’t put much thought into a family, he and you were content just the two of you. Also. CHILDREN HE TEACHES.

But something just switches in his brain, probably after he had a really wholesome moment with a student, or maybe even just witnessing a parent + student interaction.

He’s like, “I kind of want that..”

Another small fam kinda guy <3

Suga brings it up, and you’re all for it, you’ve been wanting to start a family with him.

He’s so excited and happy!! oml :’)

Like, he finally gets to start a whole new chapter of your lives together he hadn’t really thought about until now.

When you get a baby bump, he plants soft kisses to your tummy and talks gently to it.

My heart ksjshd

This will be a nightly occurrence now.

He is reading all those articles for raising kids. He’s also at your beck and call, even the baby’s.

He just wants everything for the baby, they end up being a huge daddy’s kid.

Late nights after the kid/s go to bed is prime time for you both.

You enjoy being together after a long day, you snuggle up together in your bed, maybe drink some wine later.

PLEASE. Breakfasts in bed. He and the kid/s will TOTALLY MAKE YOU B in B.

So proud of your kid/s. Has pictures in frames on his desk at school, and when his students ask, he has plenty of stories to tell.

Knows when something is off. Like, he can just tell-

Kid is sad? He’s there. Tissues, ice cream, take them out somewhere.

Probably a teaser.

You already know he gets himself and that kid/those kids into mischief.

“Shhh, don’t tell mom!”

He has deep conversations with them. He cares a lot.

He just loves them <3

10/10

kuroo !

it’ssss kuroo time babyyy

He definitely wanted kids. Strikes me as the guy who just knew, as soon as you got married.

When that test came up positive, he had a dorky smirk on his face.

He’s very proud to know you will have his kid.

This dude is always checking up on you. Morning sickness? He’s there to hold your hair back. 

Feeling clingy or upset? Wraps his arms around you.

Lazy pats on your stomach when it’s late.

Why does he seem like he’d play mozart around you because he read somewhere that fetsuses liked that

Sir please we don’t need to listen to Alla Turca (Allegretto) for 12 hours straight

He’s 100000/10 homework helper. Mans is smart af, it’s not even surprising.

“I forgot how smart you were” 

“Shut up”

You both are probably so mushy with each other that your kid/s are like “Ew gross”

He encourages and pushes them to do their best. 

Helps them find what they’re passionate about. <3

Dad jokes. I’m serious.

“Please stop, dad!”

“One more, one more-”

Enjoys making them suffer with terrible jokes.

In a nice way of course.

lev !

saved the funny one for last!

Okay maybe not super funny, but I had fun writing this

He and you did NOT plan to get pregnant. At ALL.

“Lev the test is positive”

“Wh-WHAT?”

Promptly falls off of chair.

Like this dude was not ready for that information

Tbh he would make even me anxious about it

“..do I have to give them the talk?”

Lev please it hurts me

As soon as he gets used to it though, he’s excited like he usually is. 

But this is different. This is a whole HUMAN. 

“Do you think I’ll be a good dad, Y/N?”

“Do you want me to be honest?”

Jkjk that was a joke.

I think Lev has the potential to be a good dad. He’s energetic, passionate and dumb, but in a good way <3

Sorry again, no homework help with him LMAO

Your kid will probably be tall. Or at least average height.

After the original surprise pregnancy, he wants to try again but when you both are actually ready.

He would totally take these kids out everywhere. A show off dad for sure

“Hey, did you know my kid did xyz?” 

“Look, here’s a picture!”

Lev we get it you love your kids 

He would love to have a volleyball loving kid I feel like, but he wouldn’t be too disappointed if they didn’t like it. Would probably propose other sports though, he always loved playing himself, even if it was only volleyball so he wants them to have the same good experiences

If he’s watching the kids while you’re shopping, he doesn’t really know how the first few times- even though you left him A LIST.

Probably then calls his friends up for advice

If it comes down to it...consults WikiHow

and that’s it!! hope you enjoyed, some were harder to write but yk what- i had fun :D as much as i am suga brainrot i literally had a hard time writing his section :’( 

but anyways yuh B)

asks/requests are open ! check yay’s and nay’s in basics for this blog !

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[neqeyam]

Kaeya Head Canons!

hey besties, me again! Kaeya brainrot hit hard today LOL, anyways some of these may be ooc bc I don’t main Kaeya anymore so i’ve forgotten a lot about his character plus I don’t read the lore (where tf do yall find it even). 

Also if some of my head canons for any charcter seem personal or have nothing to do with their character it’s me projecting LOL! 

anyways, onto the hcs!

(ps, thank you so much for the love on my last hc post! i really didn’t expect anyone to see it LOL)

He’s a menace. but everyone loves him

Kaeya skips, when he isn’t in a professional setting my guy is skipping. It’s so much faster than walking and more fun than walking. 

This^ is especially true when he’s out with his s/o. holding your hand, he’ll skip and force you to either jog or skip along with him to keep up. 

Again I say; he’s dating Albedo. Kaeya saw Albedo from across the bar and without missing a beat he got up, waltzed over and started flirting with him. Albedo had no idea what was happening, he then asked sucrose to accompany him the next time he went and it was sucrose who broke the news to Albedo that he was being flirted with. Kaeya laughed for 5 minutes and refuses to let Albedo forget it. 

(oh my god tell me why as soon as I go to write these they all leave my mf brain im sorry if these are terrible) 

Kaeya taught bennett how to sword fight, and still does on the rare occasion he has a free hour. 

^most people of Mondstadt think bennett went to Kaeya for help but that’s not true. Someone sent in a letter to AGM Jean (the hand writing looked suspiciously like Diluc’s but he refuses to admit it was him) saying that bennett was looking into learning the art of the sword. The next day Kaeya dispatched himself to look for bennett and for the next two months (technically it’s been like two years but bennett is a fast learner) Kaeya was a dad. 

Kaeya absolutely despises working out but he does it anyways because he wants to be able to pick up kids. 

Kaeya is AMAZING with kids, he makes jokes about hating them but when he sees one he melts. He has to work with them a lot because he is often dispatched for travel mishaps (hilichurls attacking carriages, that sort of thing) and often times the parents are injured so he has to comfort any kids that may be on scene. 

Kaeya is buff, absolutely jacked. you can’t see it because he dresses modestly (sorta) to down play his physical strength but my guy can deadlift like 350 LBS (idk if that’s a lot tbh I don’t workout anymore LMAO)

Kaeya is as smart as he is muscular. He’s among the smartest knights, probably top three (it goes kaeya, jean, lisa). HOWEVER, he ranks first in battle intelligence. my guy can analyse four opponents at the same time, find all their weak spots and exploit them in matter of seconds. 

Kaeya is also a master of manipulation. i can see it in his eyes, this man knows the mind of all his enemies, old and new. 

(wait now i’m imagining Kaeya riding a horse that’s full sprint HELP. I’m turning myself into a Kaeya simp....)  

Kaeya’s horse is all black except for a white patch that looks suspiciously like the star from Khaenri’ah (it’s on its lower neck). his horse is also by far the fastest in the entire company and was once part of a herd of horses that roamed Mondstadt’s country side. (Diluc helped him tame it but shhh nobody is supposed to know)

^Kaeya was extremely pissed of when Varka took his cavalry, still is in fact. I mean, he’s the cavalry captain damn it, find your own horses. Especially because there were enough horses so Kaeya’s could stay behind in case he needed it for something, but NOOOO Varka refused anything but teh best- which happened to be Kaeya’s horse.

Kayea’s named his horse Außenseiter, and that is absolutely a reflection of his feelings. 

Kaeya is fucking fantastic at masking what he’s feeling, you’ll never know what he’s actually feeling. If a situation starts to go downhill, you won’t know it until it’s practically too late because Kaeya is just. that. good. 

he’s also fucking fantastic at playing the long game. nobody knows but he’s the knights of favoniouses official interrogator and he is a menace. he always gets what he wants out of people, whether it takes two hours and two months, he gets it, and reports directly to AGM Jean his findings. 

Kaeya and Eula share ‘war stories’ (how they go their visions mostly, but other things like the way people treat Eula, and how they chalk Kaeya up to being ‘just a flirt’) 

he has a fan club. they aren’t as loud as the Diluc fan club but he knows they’re there. sometimes he’ll pop in on meetings and everyone just. fucking freezes bc their lord and savior- THE Kaeya is standing in their presence. he loves them. 

He openly talks about liking anyone he wants to so that the youth of mondstadt can talk about as well. and the LGBTQ+ of mondstadt know that if they’re having a problem with someone they have his permission of threaten said person with his name. 

^and archons hope he isn’t in the vicinity when it reaches that point. all rational goes out the window and then he’s all threats and no jokes. with a threatening smile that screams “test me, see what happens” 

^then he treats whoever was being disrespected to a meal, on him.

and that’s all for now! thanks again for the love on my first head canon post! i really need to learn how to use tumblr so i can make a masterlist of these LOL. there will definitely be more coming soon!

[fallingappleshurt]

Fun in the chips and cracks

(I’m back at it again, this is poorly edited and dumb and based off the crap I did when I was younger. In this story Tommy is 10, Techno is 11, and Wilbur is 12,my eyes burn and I am definitely forgetting something but goodnight! Hope you enjoy it!)

Hope you like my brainrot, this story is so bad I wrote it in like an hou, the creator of this AU is the lovely @antarctic-bay go check her out! She’s great!

“I told you Tommy, it’s nothing that cool, it’s just the creek.” Techno said, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah but that’s cause you’ve been there before!” Tommy said, turning around to face Techno. He started walking backwards while talking, bouncing excitedly.

They were headed to the forest close to their apartment complex, Techno and Wilbur knew it like the back of their hands, they’d go there constantly whether it was to goof around, or talk, or just for some alone time, sometimes they’d even do homework back there, if Phil would allowed it.

They crossed a mainroad, Techno trying to slow their pace to stall for Wilbur, who threatened to lock him in the hall closet if he took Tommy to the creek for the first time without him.

“Lets go!” Tommy said, grabbing his brother’s hand, trying to pull him along.

“That’s the wrong way Tommy and we gotta wait for Wilbur!” Techno said, pulling back.

“Why?” Tommy whined, “He’s so slow!”

“He’s not gonna see it that way, so just wait for a minute.”

“Fine.”

They waited for a few minutes when Techno spotted Wilbur full on sprinting down the street, he spotted them and started waving his hands frantically. Techno watched as his brother, yelling for them to wait up, he sighed.

“We should have just left without him,” he commented as Wilbur impatiently waited for traffic to clear so he could cross the street, he raced across the street. He caught up with his brothers, shoving Techno as he came to a stop.

“Hey!”

“That’s what you get for not waiting!” Wilbur teased, messing up his hair, Techno grumbled.

“Wilbur’s here now lets go!” Tommy said, pulling at Techno’s hand again.

“There’s no rush,” Wilbur said, throwing an arm around Techno’s shoulders, yanking him against his side, “Let’s just take it slow and enjoy the scenery.”

Tommy groaned, “Why are you guys so slow? You’re not even that old!” Wilbur cackled.

“I’m going without you guys if you don’t hurry up!” Then he turned and ran down the street.

“Tommy wait! We’re on a main road!” Wilbur let go of Techno and shot after his younger brother, Techno on his heels.

“Tommy!” Wilbur called, he finally caught up with him, grabbing his arm, “Don’t run off like that!”

“Then walk faster!” Tommy said simply.

“Then I’ll just hold you hand the whole time so you can’t run off, even in the creek.”

“I’m too old for that!”

“Then stay by me or Techno,”

“Fine.”

Techno, trying to lighten the mood, pointed towards the treeline across the street, “It’s right over there, let’s get going before it gets too late.”

Tommy perked up immediately at that, “Yeah! Let’s go!” They jogged across the street and into the woods, Techno recognized the terratin right away, “Creek’s this way,” He said, pointing through the trees. They walked between the gangly trees, Tommy stopping to poke at everything rock and tree stump along the way.

They cut through a small field of unkempt grass, it brushed across Techno’s knees. They reached another tree line, the soft trickle of water came closer.

“We’re here,” Wilbur said, turning to Tommy, “Wait for Techno to go down first, watch how he does it, then I’ll help you down.” Tommy nodded vigorously, bouncing on his heels. The ground dipped down suddenly, Techno took baby steps until he reached the fallen log, he sat down, turning around he slid off the edge, until he was hanging by his hands.

He let go, feet hitting the ground, stumbling back he regained his balance and waited for Tommy.

The boy started down, moving hesitantly, he sat at the edge of the log, kicking his feet.

“Just come jump down, I’ll catch you!” Techno reassured him, sticking his arms out.

“Promise?”

“Yes! Now just come-” Techno cut himself off as Tommy pushed himself off the edge. He jumped forwards, just barely catching him, Techno tripped and fell, landing on his back, Tommy on his chest.

“Got him,” Techno groaned.

“Are you okay?” Wilbur asked, coming down the log as Tommy stood up.

“That wasn’t so bad,” He grinned, Techno sat up, “Bruhhh.”

They baby stepped down another hill, avoiding an old tire and a rusty fireplace cover then they reached the creek.

“Which way do you want to go?” Wilbur asked Tommy. Tommy looked back at him, “Do you not know what’s either way?”

“I do but you get to pick,”

Tommy considered each option like his life depended on it, eventually he decided, “Right, let’s go right.”

Techno nodded, knowing what was down that way, “Good choice,”

Techno and Wilbur walked through the water, it was low enough for them to do so, while Tommy jumped from rock to rock, admiring the huge banks of the creek, roots jutting out from the dirt with little tunnels and rocks.

“What’s that on the dirt?” Tommy asked, pointing up ahead at a huge gray section of the bank.

“It’s clay,” Techno answered, “Most of the stuff up high is dried out but you can use the bits close to the water.”

“Awesome!” Tommy raced ahead, kneeling in the water, pulling at bits of the sticky material, “I’ve used this in art class!” He said, rolling some into a ball. Wilbur and Techno knelt down next to him, grabbing their little bits of clay, letting it get caked in their cutials.

Tommy rolled his clay into random shapes, dipping his fingers into the water and running it along the clay.

“Clay water is called silt,” He informed them, “You can’t let your clay get too dry or it’ll crack!” He slapped some water onto the clay wall, running his fingers on the grayish water, then he leaned over and smeared it on Wilbur’s cheek.

“Hey, you little shit!” He threw his clay at Tommy then Tommy jumped at Wilbur and then they were wrestling in a creek because of course they were. Wilbur was winning.

Techno watched in amusement as Wilbur put Tommy in a headlock. In a desperate attempt Tommy stuttered out through a giggle, “Techno doesn’t have any clay on him!”

Wilbur froze, “You’re right Tommy,” He let go of his youngest brother, “Get him!” Wilbur jumped at Techno, shoving him into the ground, rubbing clay against his face.

Techno shrieked, pushing back at Wilbur, laughing. Tommy jumped in on the fight, laughing along with them. Techno pushed Wilbur into the mud, the tips of his hair were wet and he could feel the clay on his face and knew it was on his clothes but he didn’t care.

He looked at Tommy, as he jumped on Wilbur who groaned in response, and grinned, he hadn’t seen either of his brothers this happy since they had to move, since their old apartment cost too much and Phil had to move, since their parents disappeared.

He forgot how nice their laughs sounded.

“Let’s keep going!” Tommy said, jumping to his feet. Techno stood up, sticking out a hand to Wilbur, who took it gladly. They continued forwards until they reached a small tunnel, you could see the other side easily. Tommy ran forwards into it, his laughs echoing into the woods, Techno and Wilbur followed at a slower pace, feeling the tunnel shake as a car drove over top.

Techno read the spray painted stories along the walls, he had read them before but he always liked to reread them. They reached the end only for the sky to rumble.

“We better head back,” Wilbur said, Tommy whined in response, “Don’t worry, we can come back another day, now let's go!” They walked back down the tunnel when the lightning cracked in the sky, Wilbur swore under his breath. When they reached the other side it started pouring rain.

They waded through the growing water level quickly, getting back to the log, they boosted Tommy up first, then Techno then they pulled Wilbur up.

“Let’s run!” Wilbur said, grabbing Tommy and Techno’s hand, together they raced across the field in the pouring rain. Techno slipped in the mud, taking his brothers down with him.

“I-I’m sorry! Are you guys oka-” He broke off as Wilbur snorted, pulling himself off the ground.

“It’s fine, we were already gross,” He pulled Tommy up and they set off again. They didn’t stop running, across streets and through parking lots until they reached their apartment complex. Wilbur pushed the door open and walked inside, slipping off his shoes.

Phil stared at them from the kitchen,looking them up and down, they were soaking wet and covered in mud, clay, and glass stains. Tommy grinned at him, Techno averted his eyes, and Wilbur rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Are you serious?”