#I don’t understand why Star Wars wants to fully bring back the Jedi

[smilesrobotlover]

Crying over Anakin and Ahsoka rn I am NOT ok over those two

[sirikenobi12]

War & the Jedi

This will be a long meta rant, FYI.

The Jedi Order, specifically the Prequel era Jedi Order, gets a lot of hate these days particularly regarding their involvement in the Clone Wars. Accusations are tossed at their feet constantly ranging from corruption all the way up to warmongering. 

Let’s first look at the Oxford English Dictionary definition of these two accusations, shall we?

Corruption - having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.

Warmonger - a person who encourages or advocates aggression towards other countries or groups.

The definitions of these two words are so very misunderstood when it comes to relation to the Jedi. If the Jedi are truly “corrupt” then where are the examples of their dishonesty for wealth or personal gain? In fact, I’d argue that canon (and Legends) makes a point to show us that it is the Sith who are in it for personal gain, not the Jedi. The Jedi have absolutely NOTHING to gain from this war on a personal level, in fact they are losing members in terrifying numbers.

The Jedi are also not advocating aggression towards the Separatists, in fact what we see instead is the Jedi DEFENDING against the Separatists. I have yet to see in either canon or legends an instance where the Republic forces invade a Separatist planet who doesn’t have an army or some military involvement (i.e. weapon factories). However, time after time we see the Separatists forcing peaceful planets who want nothing to do with them to either bow to their cause or die (i.e. Ryloth, Lurmen planet, Kiros, Mandalore) the Jedi and Republic Troops will then follow the Separatists to these planets, but they try to do what they can to liberate the planet from the Separaist invasion and then they give the planet the OPTION to join the Republic for safety and economic reasons, but they never force them, as is super evident with Mandalore.

Yet people don’t seem to see this and continue to drag the Jedi through the mud. 

Here are the top 5 other “woke” takes I hear - 

Jedi are peacekeepers and should not have gotten involved:

 First things first, let’s look at the definition of Peacekeeper - a soldier, military force, etc., deployed to maintain or restore peace. 

I’d argue by that definition the Jedi were still peacekeepers, it’s true that they weren’t a 3rd party as they normally were before the war, but their position was trying to maintain or restore peace. Peacekeeper is not the same thing as a Pacifist, the Jedi were skilled warriors (training from childhood to wield a lightsaber), the difference is Jedi used their skills for defense not attack which is what we constantly saw throughout the Clone Wars. 

With regards to the idea that Jedi “should not have gotten involved” I ask you then what exactly were they supposed to do instead?

 We see at the beginning of Attack of the Clones that the Jedi are worried things will escalate to war, they have obviously gone to the Chancellor hoping that a diplomatic solution can be presented to avoid bloodshed. Or if that isn’t possible then that the Republic have some way to defend themselves other than relying solely on the Jedi (i.e. an army). The Separatists are the ones pushing them to a breaking point, were the Jedi just supposed to stand back and let innocent people be invaded/killed because they didn’t want to get involved? The Jedi were “Guardians of Peace and Justice” which means it was their duty to help bring about peace in the galaxy while also enacting justice. 

Then after Geonosis (where they lost approx. 187 members mind you) they learned that the Sith are leading the Separatist army - the Jedi are duty bound by their code to fight the Sith, they had no choice but to join the war. 

So, I ask again...what were they supposed to do instead?

2.  Jedi used a slave army for their own purposes:

 Okay, I can (and probably will) write a whole argument based on just this accusation alone. There are so many fallacies I don’t even know where to begin but I’ll try. 

I guess my first question is the same as #1, what were the Jedi supposed to do instead with regards to the Clones? 

Technically speaking the Clones didn’t “belong” to the Jedi, they were “property” of the Republic (as stated by Lama Su in Attack of the Clones). In fact, the Jedi Council not only didn’t know about the order, they had vehemently denied Syfo Dias’ earlier request to raise an army in the first place. The Sith KNEW the Jedi would be against it, this was all part of their plan to trap the Jedi (as was EVERYTHING about the war) - they clouded the Force, they literally deleted Kamino from the Archives so the Jedi wouldn’t discover it until the Sith WANTED them to (i.e. Jango just happened to use a Kamino dart?? Come on people). Yoda even states “blind we are if creation of this clone army we could not see” he fully admits they missed it because the Dark Side was clouding their vision. 

Regardless, the army was created, there was no changing that fact. Had the Jedi not taken command of the army do you think the Clones wouldn’t have had to go to war? Do  you actually believe that the Republic who couldn’t get their citizens to give 2 craps about the war would’ve taken up the mantle and fought instead? Do you think if the Jedi were like “thanks, but we didn’t order this” that the Kamioans would’ve just let the Clones go free? 

The answer you’re looking for is...no. 

So, like absolutely everything about the Clone Wars the Jedi did the best they could with the cards they had been dealt. They chose to lead the army on the front lines, putting themselves in just as much mortal danger as the men they were leading. They even sent a member of the Jedi Council to oversee the creation of future clones/training to ensure they were being treated humanely (something the Kamioans thought was ridiculous). They were the first to tell the clones that they were individuals, they constantly put themselves in front of their men to protect them (i.e. season 7 Obi-Wan deflecting the rocket from blowing up his men). The Jedi did what they could, just because we didn’t see on screen Jedi stopping to grieve every time a clone died did not mean that they didn’t care - real life Generals can’t stop in the middle of a battle to grieve over their fallen soldiers either, so why is it we consider it a moral crime if the Jedi don’t?

Another thing I’ll add is once the Jedi had evidence that the Clones were actually ordered by Dooku, did they immediately stop and say “oh hell no, these flesh droids can’t be trusted, we should just have them decommissioned”?? NO! They defended the Clones, stating that they were good men and should be trusted (and look where that trust got them in the end).

The Jedi were forced/coerced to fight this war as much as the Clones were!! Why are we willing to forgive the Clones, but not the Jedi???

3. Ki-Adi-Mundi killing Geonosians was the same as Anakin’s slaughter at the Tusken camp: 

This is another moment where context is everything because there is a HUGE difference between Ki-Adi-Mundi on Geonosis and Anakin in the Tusken camp. The fact that I have to even spell it out makes me wonder how people can even dress themselves in the morning. 

The Geonosians were an opposing military force, attacking Ki-Adi and his troops. Anakin slaughtered unarmed women and children out of vengeance. 

Now, had Ki-Adi turned to his men and screamed “to the catacombs!” brandishing his lightsaber with a murderous glint in his eyes and proceeded to cut down the unarmed bugs below the battle then you’d have an accurate comparison on your hands and I’d be appalled right there with you.

But, as it stands this is not the same thing...not even close.

4. The Jedi sent children to war: 

So, this is a tougher one and I can even understand the concerns behind it, and I even share some of those concerns. The thing I will say to this is, given what we see throughout Star Wars, what constitutes a “child” seems to be different than our own real world definition. 

Padme, for example, was 14 when she was elected Queen, and she wasn’t even the youngest ever elected. She (and her handmaids) were trained as children to defend themselves and their people both politically and in battle (much like Jedi), but you don’t hear people condemning the people/traditions of Naboo the way we see the Jedi being condemned for theirs.

Jedi children arguably mature faster than your standard person, and with regards to Star Wars there are also species’ age ranges to keep in mind. Grogu for example is still a baby at age 50, could it be possible that Ahsoka at age 14 is on the same maturity level as a human in their early twenties due to her Togruta DNA?? We don’t know, it’s never stated other than Anakin saying something about because of her advanced skills he forgets how young she is. 

Obviously Boba Fett is treated like an adult by other Bounty Hunters - no one even questions when he picks up a job and is placed in charge of a group at age 12 or 13 (and he is placed in an adult prison without anyone questioning it). It could be that by law according to Star Wars that 13 is actually considered an adult. Throughout history (and in many different cultures) 13 was when people were considered to be “coming of age”, So, once again we’re placing our cultural biases onto a fictional space fantasy world without realizing it might not even be an issue in that world.  

But even beyond all of that I ask you again - what else should the Jedi have done? 

Their young Padawans would eventually have to grow into Jedi Knights, even before the war by the time they are teenagers they usually followed their Masters on missions (often very dangerous missions) in order to get real world experience. At the time of the Clone Wars the real world they were living in was one at war. If they hadn’t brought their Padawans onto the battlefield how else would they have learned how to strategize, or how to cope with the emotions of battle? They would’ve been ill prepared if the war had continued on for years and years as it had looked like it was going to do...once again, the Jedi had no real choice in this. 

5. The Jedi lost their way because of the war: 

Did they though?? I’d argue they actually didn’t. We first have to ask ourselves what is a Jedi - well, according to the very first time we hear any type of a description about a Jedi they are introduced as the “Guardians of Peace and Justice for the Republic” I don’t see how the war took that away from them. 

The Oxford definition of Guardian is a defender, protector, or keeper. I fail to see how the Jedi stopped being any of these things because of the war.

Here’s the bottom line, the Jedi’s biggest mistake was that they fell for a plot 1,000 years in the making. The Sith spent over a millenia perfecting/hatching this plan, there was nothing the Jedi could’ve done to prevent the war by the time the trap was sprung. As always, I’m not saying the Jedi were perfect (I hate that I have to always specify that when I argue that the Jedi were good), all I’m saying is they tried to do the most good that they could with the situation they fell into - few groups/characters can claim the same thing.

Everyone seems to forget that the Sith controlled BOTH SIDES to that war, there was nothing - absolutely NOTHING the Jedi could’ve done that would’ve changed or won that war. So, instead they saved as many innocent lives as they could and to me, that’s very Jedi. 

[mandoalorian]

Borrowed Time [Din Djarin x F!Reader]

ੈ♡˳‧₊*: • Chapter 2: The Way ✩࿐ ˚.✧

Summary: You are the princess of Mandalore, held hostage on your own planet by Moff Gideon and his army of Imperial troopers. Left with no choice, you send out a distress signal; a plea for protection— and who comes? None other than Din Djarin, a foundling of The Death Watch. He, by creed, is your sworn enemy. And where you have asked for his protection, he has been told by his mentor that he must marry you and gain the ability to restore Mandalore to its former glory.

Word Count: 2500>

Warnings: Domestic!Din comes with his own warning.

Series Masterlist **reblogs appreciated!

Din pulled up the throttle and exited hyperspace, thankful that he was now in the perimeter of the hot and arid world of Mandalore. He'd never been to Mandalore before, only heard talks and folklore from the creed who raised him. He had thought that, since the war, Mandalore had become inhospitable. He'd thought a lot of things— but now, as it turned out, not everything was as it seemed.

When the Imperials took over Mandalore, it was said that they slaughtered the monarchy, ruthlessly, and showed no remorse. Whilst no body of yours was ever discovered, the absence in communication from you, the princess, was enough to assume that you had passed away alongside the other Mandalorians. Kriff— even a memorial had been held for you.

Din didn't know how to feel… he was being sent out to protect and marry a princess. Him, out of all people. Din sighed, leaning into the plushness of his leather pilot chair. "I don't understand kid," he hummed, shaking his head as his ship glided through the stars. He watched as he neared your planet, anxiety nesting in his tummy. "Why couldn't she assign Paz to marry her? Or one of the other Mandalorians."

Grogu, Din Djarin's little green bean of a son, garbled something incoherent, blinking his big black eyes innocently. "Hey! Speak for yourself!" Din chastised, wiggling his finger. Grogu giggled and Din rolled his eyes under his beskar helmet. He had no idea how this would possibly go, but as long as he had Grogu by his side, he knew he'd be okay.

As he approached Mandalore, he set the ship for landing. He apprehended some Imp infiltrating the comms system, requesting Din to state his business; although strangely, nothing of that nature occurred. He wasn't going to argue over it. It just meant he'd spent the last four hours making up excuses as to why he was going to Mandalore for no good reason.

"I could say we're going to Mandalore for…. a farmer's market. Do you think they have a farmer's market?" Din quizzed. Grogu spluttered in disagreement. "What about… sourberry picking?" Din shrugged helplessly and Grogu made another sound of dismay. "Well I don't see you having any bright ideas!"

The child reached over to a lever on the ship and groaned wantonly, his little claws flexing as he yearned to grab the ball his father would always let him play with. Din sighed in defeat, unable to resist his son, and unscrewed the silver ball from the lever. Grogu squealed excitedly and immediately used his special powers to lift the ball in the air. He watched it float around the cockpit with a curious glint in his eyes and Din let out another deep exhale.

"No doing the magic hand thing on Mandalore either, especially not in front of the princess. You heard what the Armorer said about you guys… the Jedi. If there was a war between the Jedi and the Mandalorians then the chances are she's not going to take a liking to you lifting up rocks at your own free will. Just please be on your best behaviour. Please?" Din asked. Grogu curled his large ears in understanding and Din smiled. "Thank you. Now, I'm going to make some bone broth before we land. Want some?"

Grogu grinned happily in affirmation, his two little teeth pointing over his lips and the corners of his round eyes crinkling with delight. Bone broth sounded yummy right now.

"Your highness, The Razor Crest has requested permission to land in docking bay 94 of the palace. Do you accept or deny?" An Imperial soldier asked you.

You blinked momentarily. Razor Crest? That ship was pre-Empire. "Yes, that's fine." you nodded casually, looking down at your hands until the guard had left your quarters.

You had to play it cool. Nobody knew that you had sent out a distress call and nobody could know— it had to remain a secret, because if an Imp found out, they'd have no choice but to tell Moff Gideon. And if Moff Gideon found out that you were communicating with surviving Mandalorians, he'd have you done for treason. You may have been the princess, but he was still technically the Manda'lor, and not only that, he was a high ranking Imperial officer. You couldn't mess this up.

You pulled yourself out of your bed and slid your feet into your fluffy slippers, grabbing a silk robe and draping it over your body. They were here already. You couldn't believe it. Your protection. You wondered many things; would they be human or another far off species? How many eyes would they have— and what colour? Blue? Green? Brown? Pink? Would they have hair, and if so, is it long or short, curly or straight? So many questions.

Din held Grogu tight in one arm as he left the ship, and let a nervous hand drop his thigh holster just in case he encountered any trouble. He was thankful to be able to dock within the palace walls because it meant he didn't have to walk for miles in order to reach you. The anxiety was beginning to settle in. Mandalore was important to all Mandalorians, and the monarchy was something they respected very much. Din couldn't even think about marrying you and what that meant, even though the beskar wedding rings that the Armorer had forged were already weighing him down... all he could fixate on was how he was even going to talk to you. You were literally royalty. You came from the Kryze bloodline who were some of the greatest Mandalorian leaders. He'd read about you and your people in storybooks. Leaving Nevarro was one thing; because Din had left his home planet many times to do bounties and Guild Work. But this time, he wasn't even sure when he'd return or if he'd return. Mandalore could be his new home. If he were to marry you, this could be his new life, and Din wasn't sure if he was ready for such a commitment.

As he approached the palace, a cold chill hung over his shoulders and Grogu scowled at the onlookers. The Imperials who guarded your home watched as Din walked through the gardens, their own fingers feeling very trigger happy. A Mandalorian on Mandalore? What were the chances? It was said that the Mandalorians had been obliterated; wiped out and scattered amongst the galaxy to fend for themselves. Of course it would be ridiculous to assume that their entire creed had become extinct, but no Imperial would have ever expected to see a Mandalorian, suited up in full beskar armour, back on Mandalore. Especially since the princess had been announced dead by Moff Gideon after the great take-over. Immediately, the Imperial guards knew that something wasn't right. A Mandalorian had no reason to be on Mandalore— not after everything that had happened to their people.

As Din approached the gates, he couldn't help but feel the glares of his enemies grow colder, and their stares burned into his sheathed body. Grogu made a questioning noise and Din shushed him.

"I don't know…" Din mumbled, not wanting to cause too much fuss or bring too much attention to him and his son.

The point was; the princess had accepted the Mandalorian's request to land in the palace docking bay. The princess was apprehending his arrival. She knew about this.

The two troopers who manned the entrance of the palace did open the doors to Din, although begrudgingly. The strange feeling that surrounded the duo was not lost on Din. He wondered if it was in fact a trap. Maybe the plea the Armorer had received was an old holo recording of your voice that the Imperials had utilized to get a Mandalorian sent out. Either the Imperials were expecting Din, or they weren't expecting him at all. But Din had just assumed the princess had at least made it safe for him to come.

The lobby of the palace was enormous. Beautiful marble floor that must have been centuries old. Ornaments and flower arrangements stood erect on every corner and tall, gold pillars held the building together. Din wondered where he'd find you, but his pondering was cut short when he heard your delicate footsteps clicking against the floor. He turned around, his grip on his son tightening in anticipation, but the moment his eyes met yours, his whole body deflated.

There you were; the Princess of Mandalore.

Din couldn't find words. His whole body involuntarily tensed up as his gaze raked your body. It was perfect; you were shaped like a goddess, or perhaps one of the angels from the moon of Iego. Your hair was the most beautiful colour and Din admired the way it shone under the amber candlelight. Your eyes were doe-like and sparkling just like the stars, and your lips were simply the perfect plumpless.

But your heart was struck with fear when you saw the Mandalorian; fully dressed in beskar armour and a helmet. Not a single inch of skin was on sight, and your vision immediately turned red. There was only one Mandalorian tribe who never took off their helmet; and it was the tribe who was responsible for the death of your mother. It couldn't be…

Grogu's sweet little voice interrupted the silence, his garbles echoing throughout the extensively sized yet empty room.

Your lips curled into a smile as you approached the child, extending your arms and taking him out of Din's grip. "Hello friend." you cooed, and the little green bean giggled under your touch.

"He likes you," Din said, his voice modulated from under the helmet. "He doesn't like many people."

You ignored Din's comment, too busy fussing over the child. Grogu laughed and squeaked as you caressed his floppy ears. "Grogu, hm? You're a cutie."

Din furrowed his eyebrows together, perplexed. He wasn't the best at understanding Grogu, but how did you know his name already? Din hadn't told you.

"Oh, you like it?" You asked curiously, taking your earring out of your ear and placing it in Grogu's claw. "It's a ruby."

Wait— you were talking to him. You could understand him. The only person who could fluently communicate with Grogu was Ahsoka Tano, and that was because she was force sensitive. Of course Din could understand menial gestures and phrases, but here you were, the princess of Mandalore, having a full conversation with the little green bean. For a brief second, Din considered if you had any force-like abilities similar to what Grogu and Ahsoka had. But the thought passed fleetingly. There was no way a Mandalorian could have force powers. Not after the war between Mandalore and the Jedi sorcerers.

"His name is Din Djarin… I see." you nodded knowingly at Grogu before glancing up at the Mandalorian.

"Uh- yeah, that's me," Din said awkwardly, taking a step closer to you. "It's an honour to meet you, your highness. I must admit, I wasn't expecting to visit Mandalore tonight. Or ever- really." Din rambled, picking at his mustard coloured gloves.

"Do they still… do they still think I'm dead?" you asked uncertainly. Din nodded and you swallowed. The Imperials had really done a good job of covering up your existence then. You glanced back down at Grogu, and back up at the Mandalorian. "You walked through the palace gardens… dressed like that?" you asked him with a frown.

Din looked down at his armour in bewilderment— your comment suggesting that there was something wrong with what he was wearing. "Uh- yes?"

Your eyes went comically wide and you thrusted the child back into Din's chest. "Are you out of your mind?" you gasped, slapping your hands over your mouth in distress.

Din placed a hand on his hip. "Excuse me?"

"Take off your helmet." you demanded, your eyes stone cold.

"What? No!" Din gasped, taken aback. "Why aren't you wearing your helmet?"

You blinked. "Why would I? I'm not in battle!" you argued, raising your voice slightly. "Take off your helmet, that is an order from your Manda'lor."

"How could you ask me to do such a thing?" Din asked defensively, his fingers curling around his blaster pistol. "Are you really the Manda'lor— or are you an imposter? A true Mandalorian wouldn't ask me to remove my helmet."

No. You weren't the Manda'lor, you didn't have the darksaber anymore. But Din didn't need to know that.

"Are you… are you a Child of the Watch?" you whispered, feeling genuine fear wash over you.

"What?"

"What is your tribe's mantra?" you beckoned further, your eyes desperately trying to search for his through the visor of his helmet.

"Our secrecy is our survival. Our survival is our strength. This is the way." Din informed you.

You gulped and looked away. He was Death Watch. His people were the ones who teamed with Darth Maul and attacked Mandalore. They were the ones who killed your mother, and now, for the very first time, a Death Watch Mandalorian stood right before you.

You had sworn that, on the occasion you met a Child of the Watch, they wouldn't live to see the dawn of a new day. But this man… this man was a father. And killing him would orphan a child, just like you were orphaned as a young girl. You could never do that. You were not a fighter.

"I think you should go." you whispered, hating the way the words left your lips. You sounded weak.

You were struggling to hold it together. You didn't realise how much it would hurt, seeing a Child of the Watch. You didn't realise how it would bring to life a million memories of your beautiful mother.

"What? I just got here."

"I am sorry for bringing you out here, and I'm even more sorry for asking you to remove your helmet. But you need to go." You said more sternly. Din didn't move. "Go!" you shouted, and Grogu flinched slightly.

"No." Din insisted.

The tears were spilling from your eyes now, and there was nothing you could do to stop them. You shuffled backwards until your ankles hit the first step of the grand staircase. You sunk down onto the steps and held your head in your hands, sobbing. You missed your mother so much; it was like every bone in your body ached for her touch. You missed the way she'd comfort you and hold you and whisper the Songs of Eon's Past to lull you to sleep. She was the greatest of leaders— a pacifist who would never hurt a single soul. She renounced all wars, even at the cost of her own life. She wouldn't want you to hurt Din. All these years you told yourself you'd kill the Children of the Watch for vengeance. But how could you now?

Hesitantly, Din placed Grogu on the ground, and padded towards you. He sat down next to you and wrapped a big arm around your body, pulling you into his beskar clad chest and hugging you. It was the first time in over a decade you'd had the pleasure of feeling human touch. You sunk into him and whimpered, letting your tears fall and dampen the black material under his chest plate. Din said nothing, only shushed you and rubbed comforting circles into your back.

He had no idea what caused the onset of your tears, but he knew better than to ask. There was no shame in crying. None at all. All Din knew was that he was not going to leave you. Not now, not ever. He was going to make you his wife.

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[cora-vizsla]

I miss Paz and Cabur too! ❤

I've really been into soft lately and I saw a couple soft prompts that I really like because they're about admiration and Paz can say them to Cabur and vise versa.

I feel like I could watch you all day. Everything you do has a touch of magic to it.

I sometimes wish you could see yourself through my eyes.

Please don't feel obligated to write anything if you don't feel inspired.

Paring: Female!reader (Cabur) x Paz Vizsla

Rating: Uh, teen maybe? Nothing explicit.

Warnings: Fluff. Like your teeth are rotting out this is so sweet fluff.

AN: I'm gonna try to do this without any angst. Let's see if I am capable of it. (Okay I kind of failed there was a touch of angst in there but not between our two favorite love birds)

Your least favorite part of your job was going different places to meet with new groups. Din wanted all Mandalorian to feel welcome on Mandalore and that was a chore in and of itself. He trusted you the most to be able to work through any situation that could arise and knew you were more than competent in taking care of yourself should you need to. That didn't stop Paz from putting everything on hold to make sure he went with you. Part of you was annoyed that it seemed like he didn't trust you to take care of yourself, but Din reminded you that you would be with him if the roles were reversed.

Paz stood in the back of the meeting hall with his arms crossed over his chest. Any time voices were raised towards you, your eyes glanced over to make sure he didn't have his blaster drawn. Most of the meetings were calm but there were a few of the leaders of different clans that were defensive about needing to follow a Mandalore that they had never met.

"I understand your hesitance. The Mandalorian have been driven apart time and time again. All I am asking is that you send delegation to the planet. You can see first hand the work we have put into rebuilding our planet so that all Mandalorian can thrive the way we should be."

"And how do we know this isn't a trap? You're a child of the watch."

"A child of the watch that is here asking for peace. You think I would have sat down with you if I wanted war? Don't mistake my civility as weakness. I am a warrior just as you are."

"I can't even see your face."

"No. There are only two people in this galaxy that can see my face because I choose to live my life that way. I do not think less of you for taking your helmet off. I ask for that same respect."

The warrior stood up but his partners hand shot out, grabbing his arm. He instantly sat down and looked at them. You had known the warrior in question wasn't the one in charge but hadn't quite put your mind to recognizing the smaller pregnant Mando next to him was in charge.

"Do you have children?"

You nodded once and relax back into your chair.

"I do. A daughter. My riduur and I took her in when her village was attacked."

"Does your clan respect foundlings?"

"They are our greatest asset. There is no future without them. Our Mandalore risked his entire life and creed to protect his foundling. He didn't fight to take the dark saber for power; he was protecting his ad'ika."

Their leader nodded once and sat back.

"It is decided then. I will go. I trust that you are comfortable with me bringing an escort."

"You may bring the entire clan if it was what you want. We only want you to see what we have created and offer you all a place there."

The warrior huffed but stood up to help his partner. She motioned for him to leave with everyone else, staying in front of you.

"You risked your life coming here."

"I understand that."

"Is that why your guard has been staring at you the entire time?"

You laughed and nodded, smiling under your helmet at Paz.

"That is Paz Vizsla, my riduur."

She turned and gave Paz a soft smile which was met with a nod. She turned back to you and placed her hand on her belly.

"I will be honest, part of me is being selfish with going to see the planet."

"Is there something wrong?"

"I am force sensitive. I always have been but I had people who could help train me. I was trained to keep it quiet and hidden away. I don't want that for her."

"You know it's a girl?"

"I do. I can feel her thoughts just like she can feel mine. I have heard rumor you have a Jedi temple there."

You nodded and smiled.

"Our Mandalore has a foundling that is force sensitive. He sent him away with the Jedi to be trained so he would be safe. We arranged to have the temple moved to our city so that families could still be connected with this children, regardless if they follow our creed or not."

"That is wonderful."

"I can arrange for you to meet with Master Skywalker on your visit. Although I am sure he will sense the moment you touch down. Force sensitives are welcome there. Everyone is that believes in our cause."

"Thank you. Let me show you to your lodging for the night. No need to leave right away. It's been a long day."

You nodded and followed the woman, Paz moving to walk next to you. He gently touched his hand on the small of your back making you look up at him. Even without seeing him, you just knew he was smiling down at you. The leader stopped in front of a large tent and smiled at both of you.

"There is food, supplies and a fire set up for you. Please let anyone you find know if you need something. We can hash out the final preparations for our visit in the morning. I'd like to follow you back if that is okay."

"Sounds wonderful."

You walked into the tent and sighed as Paz shut the flaps and tied them shut. He walked over to you and pulled your helmet off, cupping the side of your face.

"I am exhausted."

"You did wonderfully, mesh'la."

"I feel like I argued all day."

"You did but for the right cause. I'm not sure I could have stayed that calm with that di'kut spouting his mouth off constantly."

You huffed out another sigh and sat down on the edge of the bed, putting your face in your hands.

"What is wrong, ner riddur?"

"This just feels hopeless. Every time we find more of our people it is just a fight to move on from he past."

"Is that what you think is happening?"

"I know it is. I'm exhausted from all of it."

"That isn't what I see. I see you fighting for a cause that you believe in. I see you building a future for all the children, even the ones not born yet. You're one of the strongest warriors I know and yet here you are using your words to bring us all together. I feel like I could watch you all day. Everything you do has a touch of magic to it."

He pulled your hands off your face and you saw that he no longer had his helmet on now that he was kneeling in front of you. You smiled at him and let yourself relax slightly.

"I sometimes wish you could see yourself through my eyes."

"I probably wouldn't like what I see."

"Impossible, ner kar'taylir darasuum" (my love)

"Wonder if the other warriors would be as afraid of you if they knew what a sap you are."

"A sap that would rip them to pieces just for looking at you wrong."

You smiled fully as he leaned in to kiss you. Once he pulled away you started to pull his armor off, stacking it neatly at the end of the bed. He watched you intently, a soft smile on his face until you both had your armor off.

"Let's get some sleep."

"How about you lay down so I can bring you some food. Then we can lay in this giant bed together until you fall asleep."

You hummed playfully and made a face like you were thinking.

"I guess that is okay."

"You guess? That's how it is?"

You giggled as he picked up you and tossed you back down on the bed making you laugh even harder.

"Just lay there, ad'ika. Let me take care of you."

"Don't need you to."

"I know."

"But it feels nice to know that you always will."

"Until my dying breath, mesh'la."

Tag List

@mapplestrudel @computeringturtle @the-lady-of-stars @mrsdaamneron @janelongxox

[padawanlost]

why do you think so many fanworks have anakin bragging that hes the chosen one? he literally never does that in canon, its mostly the jedi council and obi-wan pushing it on him, forcing all that responsibility onto a kid. he doesnt want that, he even asks obi-wan to take it away from him. he never calls himself the chosen one, its only other people calling him that. he may be arrogant and brag a lot, but he never calls himself that.

It has a lot to do with how some fans perceive Anakin and popular that misconception has spread. It’s one of those cases where fanon becomes so popular people take it as canon. Did Anakin have moments of arrogance? Sure. But they all did so his momentaneous (over) confidence shouldn’t be enough to label him arrogant. However, people don’t like Anakin (or don’t want to admit their non-Anakin faves have similar faults) so he’s considered the height of arrogance even when all the facts point to the opposite direction.

He was the Chosen One, they told him. He was supposed to bring balance to the Force. Anakin thought that some little extra support might go with being the Chosen One, a helping hand or at least some understanding from the Jedi Council, but instead he was passed around like an unwelcome burden, ending up with Qui-Gon Jinn and then Kenobi because nobody else would have him. His chosen status meant less than nothing; it felt more like a stigma. And they wondered why he was difficult at times. Maybe they didn’t want balance, whatever that was. Maybe nobody liked a Jedi who was that different. He felt like an embarrassment to them. I do everything you ask of me. I try so hard. When is it going to be enough? When are you going to say, “Okay, Anakin Skywalker, you’re good enough”? [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

“I didn’t ask for this. I don’t need this. So if I wasn’t friends with Palpatine I’d be a Master already, is that what you’re saying?” Obi-Wan looked pained. “I don’t know.” “I have the power of any five Masters. Any ten. You know it, and so do they.” “Power alone is no credit to you—” Anakin flung an arm back toward the Council Tower. “They’re the ones who call me the chosen one! Chosen for what? To be a dupe in some slimy political game?” [Stover’s Revenge of the Sith]

“You would forgo your destiny for Padmé?” Anakin’s brows beetled in anger. “I never claimed to be the Chosen One. That was Qui-Gon. Even the Council doesn’t believe it anymore, so why should you?” “Because I think you believe it,” Obi-Wan said calmly. “I think you know in your heart that you’re meant for something extraordinary.” “And you, Master. What does your heart tell you you’re meant for?” “Infinite sadness,” Obi-Wan said, even while smiling. [ James Luceno. Labyrinth of Evil]

You who was called arrogant multiple times in canon? The Jedi Order, as a group, was considered by their own leader and adviser (Yoda) as having a growing arrogance problem.

“But he still has much to learn, Master,” Obi-Wan explained. “His skills have made him … well, arrogant.”  “Yes, yes,” Yoda agreed. “It’s a flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves, they are. Even the older, more experienced Jedi.” Obi-Wan considered the words with an assenting nod. They certainly rang true, and the current conditions among the Jedi in this time of mounting tension were a bit unsettling, with many off on their own far from Coruscant. And had not arrogance played a major role in Count Dooku’s decision to depart the Order, and the Republic? [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

“The war has been a Sith operation from the beginning, with Dooku on one side and Sidious on the other—it has always been a plot aimed at us. At the Jedi. To bleed us dry of our youngest and best. To make us into something we were never intended to be.” He shook his head bitterly. “I had the truth in my hands years ago—back on Haruun Kal, in the first months of the war. I had it, but I did not understand how right I was.”  “Seen glimpses of this truth, we all have,” Yoda said sadly. “Our arrogance it is, which has stopped us from fully opening our eyes.” [Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith]

“Too old I was,” Yoda said. “Too rigid. Too arrogant to see that the old way is not the only way. These Jedi, I trained to become the Jedi who had trained me, long centuries ago—but those ancient Jedi, of a different time they were. Changed, has the galaxy. Changed, the Order did not—because let it change, I did not.” [Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith]

Padawan, thousands of Jedi once there were. Then came war. In our arrogance, join the conflict swiftly we did. Fear, anger, hate. Consumed by the dark side the Jedi were. Was it wrong for the Jedi to fight? Is it wrong for me to protect my friends? Wrong? Hmm. A long time, fought I did. Consumed by fear I was, though see it I did not. [Yoda in Star Wars: Rebels]

But when you remind people of that fact, you’re a crazy, evil jedi-hater who is ruining the fandom for everyone -___-

[gffa]

Thank you for always pulling receipts on why the Jedi aren't repressed corrupt idiots... Defending them can sometimes feel like talking to a brick wall and sometimes even SHOWING people receipts doesn't work either. It can be really frustrating. Like. Did you... Did you READ the receipt? Like... I understand when they tell me that emotional neglect triggers them but.. *looks at the Jedi order with teary eyes* b-but... bitch, where? Where are you getting that? I have proof they didnt?? Do??

Hi!  Thank you for the kind words as well, they’re much appreciated!! I fully support that there has to be space for everyone to have their own views within the Star Wars fandom, that just as I’m allowed my space, so are people who disagree with me.  Those boundaries for real people absolutely need to be respected over any of our feelings on made up fictional space psychic wizardry woo--and that goes both ways, that we deserve that same respect. And I’ve rewritten this response about four times now because I’m trying not to get too deep into salt territory, because it can be really frustrating to be a Jedi fan in the fandom when so much made-up stuff gets flung around about them.  Not everyone does that, of course, there are plenty of people writing perfectly fine critical posts that are based on the source material and, hell, it’s even fine that nobody is obligated to be a super nerd about the canon to have an opinion on it!  That’s not how being a fan of something works! But when I do bring out the receipts, yeah, it can be frustrating when I’ve had some experiences where I wonder if the other person even actually read the post they’re responding to.  Thankfully, that’s reasonably rare--and I don’t want to paint everyone with that same brush, I’ve talked to plenty of perfectly lovely and sweet people who disagreed with me! Ultimately, we have to find that place where we love the Jedi (if you’re someone who loves the Jedi, nobody’s obligated, I promise  😆) more than we want to be salty about it at other people, I believe.  Pushing back on some of the things people say, when they’re in a place that’s agreed upon as open for discussion, is fantastic, but I always want to encourage it to be done from a place of love and happiness. Because it gets exhausting to feel frustrated and like you have to defend the Jedi because you’re salty.  But you know what I can do endlessly?  Yell about why I love the Jedi, why their people and their methods resonate deeply for me, why I love the various Jedi that we get to know, why I love their aesthetic, why I love their extra as fuck combat styles, why I even love the sympathetic missteps they make. I can spend ALL DAY talking about pro-Jedi receipts because I LOVE THOSE NERDS SO MUCH, but I’ll get tired and worn out from being cranky in my defense of them. SO, HEY, GUYS TELL ME WHO YOUR FAVORITE JEDI IS AND WHY, I WANT SOME MORE LOVE RECEIPTS.  🥰  🥰  🥰

[thesewordsareallihavetogive]

Roommates - Theo x Reader

(gif source)

Summary: y/n’s landlord is increasing her rent once her lease is up. She has two options: move out or find a roommate. Theo, coincidentally, is looking for a new apartment.

Word count: 2105

Warnings: cursing, theo being a total house husband

a/n: and they were roommates

master list

“So then he finds out that Leia is his sister and- y/n, are you even listening?” Stiles cut himself off and looked over to where the y/h/c was nervously bouncing her leg. y/n’s head snapped up when she heard her name, nearly dropping her phone in the process.

“Uh, yeah, of course! I just um, keep going, I’m listening,” she replied unconvincingly. Her odd behavior caught the attention of the rest of the pack - not that they were really paying much attention to Stiles’s retelling of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi - causing the previous conversation to be forgotten.

“Okay, spill. There’s a handful of mostly human polygraphs in here and you’re a terrible liar. What’s up?” Malia grilled, looking at y/n expectantly. 

“It’s really nothing, everything’s fine,” y/n squeaked out, her ability to lie getting worse and worse with each word. After receiving another pointed look from Malia, she finally cracked. “Ugh, fine. I just got an email from my landlord that he’s bumping up the rent when my lease is up and I can’t afford to stay there by myself anymore,” y/n ranted. The group, minus y/n, glanced around at each other with frowns. Each and every one of them would drop everything to help y/n, but it just so happened that they were all already stuck in leases or didn’t have any extra rooms at their homes. After a few moments of silence, Theo piped up.

“I could be your roommate and split the rent if you want,” he offered nonchalantly. Stiles looked between Theo and y/n as if they’d both grown two heads. Before y/n could decline the offer, Theo continued. “My lease is almost up and your place is much nicer anyways. It’s a win win,” Theo pointed out casually and leaned back deeper into the cushions. 

An awkward silence hung in the air for a moment as y/n mulled it over. It wasn’t a horrible idea. Having a chimera as a roommate was basically like having a top-of-the-line security system. Plus, between being a full-time student and working part-time, y/n was hardly home so it didn’t really matter who her roommate was, just as long as they did their fair share of chores.

“Sure, why not,” y/n replied warmly.

It had been about a month since Theo moved in. Aside from sleeping, y/n had spent very little time at their now shared apartment. If she wasn’t at school or working, she was spending time with the pack, which felt like a full time job in and of itself. Too bad they weren’t getting paid to keep the whole damn city safe. For what felt like the first time in months, y/n finally had an entire weekend off. No looming deadlines from her classes. No long and grueling shifts for work. No supernatural threats. 

When she got home that Friday night she dropped her purse by the door, toed her shoes off halfway through the room, and unceremoniously flopped down onto the couch, sighing loudly as she did so. 

“Well hello to you too,” Theo called as he entered the room stealthily. y/n jumped, startled by his presence.

“Jesus, I didn’t even know you were home. What are you, a ninja?” y/n asked, chest heaving slightly.

“Something like that,” Theo smirked, earning an unimpressed eye-roll from y/n. Theo moved to sit down on the couch next to her, making sure to leave a respectful distance between their bodies, and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “So, you’ve been busy,” Theo began, striking up a light conversation. y/n snorted and leaned her head back into the cushions.

“You’ve got that right,” y/n groaned, running a hand through her tousled hair. The last thing y/n expected when Theo moved in was for him to be willing to hear her vent about school and work, but he actually seemed to enjoy the conversation and company. She told him about her lazy group project members and the sleazy old men who came to the diner she waitressed at. She told him how poetic justice had been served when one particularly disgruntled customer slipped and fell on the drink that he’d intentionally spilled when a waitress wouldn’t give him her number. Theo actually laughed in response to that story, his gleeful chuckle brought a warm smile to y/n’s face. 

“I didn’t mean to unload on you, thanks for listening though,” y/n finished shyly. Theo brushed off her comment.

“That was entertaining, thank you,” Theo replied with his signature grin. y/n felt heat rise to her cheeks but turned away before Theo could notice.

“Anyways… as much as I’d love to not move from this couch for the next 48 hours, I should probably clean up a bit. I’ve been a pretty shitty roommate,” y/n grimaced as she forced herself off of the couch. Theo gave her a puzzled look and patted the spot next to him on the couch, rolling his eyes when she seemed unwilling to sit back down.

“You’ve hardly been here since I moved in. I don’t think you’ve eaten a meal here, much less made a mess. Except for maybe your shoes in the middle of the floor,” he pointed out, gesturing towards her anti-slip waitressing sneakers. y/n’s face continued to burn as she moved to kick the shoes towards the shoe rack by the door. Naturally, she turned to sarcasm as a defense mechanism.

“What shoes? I don’t see any shoes,” y/n quipped slyly, waltzing back across the room to once again sink into the couch. Theo chuckled wordlessly at her antics and tore his eyes away from her to look at the TV.

“Friends or The Office?”

As luck would have it, y/n’s free weekend was short lived and the following Monday she was back to her never ending stream of school work and back-to-back work shifts. Fortunately, she was able to run home during her lunch break and wisely chose to use the time for a well-deserved nap. As she pulled out her keys to open the apartment door, she heard mechanical humming coming from inside. Truth be told, she had yet to figure out what kind of roommate Theo was, much less come close to understanding the walking enigma, so she had no idea what she was about to walk into. Was he building something? Did he figure out a way to bring the dread doctors back? Was he doing something unspeakable with a lady friend that would surely scar y/n for years to come?

As y/n mentally prepared herself for the horror movie that she was expecting to walk into, she inserted her keys in the lock. I need a fucking nap, whatever weird shit going on behind this door be damned. She pushed the door open with tense shoulders and hesitantly peered into the apartment. There stood Theo. Not holding any tools, not actively in cahoots with the nightmarish scientists that occupied part of their high school days, and (thank God) fully clothed...

But vacuuming.

Her murderous, half-human, former dirt bag roommate was vacuuming. Like a bona fide house husband. 

Theo heard the door softly close shut behind y/n and he turned to face her, unplugging the vacuum machine in the process.

“What’s with all of this?” y/n asked hesitantly, gesturing vaguely to the vacuum cleaner and the various cleaning supplies set out on the coffee table. Theo glanced at the area around him, proud of his work.

“I had some time to kill so I figured I’d clean up a bit. I’m pretty much done now so I shouldn’t bother you if you’re studying or…” he trailed off, giving y/n an opportunity to fill in the blank.

“Ha, I probably should, but no. I will be dead asleep for the next thirty minutes and then I have to head to the diner for a double shift,” she groaned and shrugged off her jacket as she made her way towards her room. Considering the fact that it was only noon on a Monday, y/n seemed far too tired. Theo frowned for a moment and genuinely considered going to have nice civilized chats with her manager and professors. That’s probably a bad idea though. Unless...

For some reason unbeknownst to y/n, her professors had begun to show some mercy in the number of papers and projects they assigned. Her manager at the diner even offered to decrease the hours she worked each week if she was feeling overwhelmed. Theo wore a knowing grin when a joyful y/n came home one day and explained this all to him. If y/n caught his mischievous smirk, she certainly didn’t call him out on it. With all of her newfound free time, y/n decided that she wanted to host a pack movie night at their apartment.

“Alright, the pizza is on the way and Scott is bringing snacks. We should probably get the movie set up before Stiles gets here and somehow convinces us all to watch Star Wars again,” y/n rattled off while she paced the apartment to make sure everything was in order. “I washed a bunch of blankets earlier, could you take them out of the dryer and put them on the couch?” y/n requested as she anxiously walked to the kitchen and began pulling out plates and cups. Theo nodded gently as he popped into the kitchen to check things out.

“Don’t stress too much. As long as there’s people and pizza, everyone will be happy,” Theo said, attempting to ease her anxiety. y/n smiled lightly at his words and took a deep breath. Lately he seemed to have some magical ability to calm her down. Theo left the kitchen to take care of the blankets while y/n put together a makeshift snack bar, complete with plates, bowls for snacks, and beer. The pizza and most of the pack arrived just as y/n and Theo were finishing up with their respective jobs. The pizza delivery boy seemed a little scared by the tall, muscled men and tiny but mighty women surrounding him so she gave him a decent tip and rolled her eyes at her friends’ naturally intimidating nature. After y/n ushered them all inside and set the pizza down on the kitchen counter, she joined the rest of the pack in the living room. To her surprise, the blankets had been neatly set out around the room and folded with expert precision. She sent Theo an impressed smile and winked when she thought no one was looking.

Stiles was the last to arrive and much to his disappointment Ghostbusters had already been set up on the TV. It didn’t take long for everyone to grab food and get situated around the living room, so by the time y/n was done buzzing around the apartment like a madwoman to get everything situated there was only one spot left on the couch. y/n knew that her friends - aside from Stiles - weren’t actively trying to hurt Theo’s feelings, but seeing him tucked into the corner of the couch distanced away from everyone pained her more than she’d admit.

So, she did what any good friend would do. Not only did she gladly take the spot on the couch next to him, but she also casually tossed her legs over his and covered the two of them with a blanket. The action definitely earned her a few raised eyebrows, including from Theo, but no one dared to call them out. y/n was able to easily ignore the sideways glances they earned throughout the course of the movie, mostly because she had fallen asleep about 15 minutes in. By the end of the movie her head had fallen to lazily rest on Theo's shoulder and he had subconsciously pulled her in closer to his side.

After the movie finished and they spent some time catching up, the rest of the pack began to trickle out of y/n and Theo’s apartment. Lydia was the last to leave so she offered to lock the door behind her so that Theo wouldn’t have to move and wake y/n. Lydia tossed out a few stray cups on her way out the door, and because she was never one to tell secrets, she definitely didn’t send the girls a picture of Theo and y/n now both passed out and cuddling on the couch.

a/n: this seemed like a great idea in the shower and now i’m not sure i even like it but i hope you enjoyed :)

edit: enjoy my best friend’s live reaction to this fic

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[mkstrigidae]

Current WIPs and Fic Concepts

I promised I would do this yesterday, and then I forgot!!! (I was very sleep deprived). Anyways, here are a bunch of the WIP premises that I have in my 'unfinished drafts' folder. Most have at least a few pages written for them, but I love them all! ☺️💕

- A Santa Clarita Diet AU (Jonsa) Takes place in sunny southern California, where a shitty dinner at a mediocre restaurant turns into a huge problem for Jon and Sansa when Sansa's heart stops beating. Although she seems fine, Jon is flabbergasted several days later as he watches his wife- who alphabetizes their pantry and refuses to let anyone wear shoes in the house- rip the throat out of one of the sleazy new partners at their law firm, eating half of him before anyone processes what's going on. Hilarity ensues as Sansa's inhibitions and filter disappear, Arya ropes an extremely confused Gendry into helping figure out what the hell is going on just because he moderates the zombie forum on reddit, and Jon tries to deal with the fact that the woman he loves more than anything is now a humanitarian. He really could use a drink. (This one is actually mostly complete, but i need to refine a few things- i really love it. It's as gory and irreverent as the show, so viewer discretion advised, but it's a BLAST to write).

- A Thor/MCU AU (Jonsa, Steve Rogers/Sansa)- Asgardian prince Aegon is banished to Midgard after one too many arrogant decisions, and is promptly hit by a van containing Dr. Sansa Stark, Dr. Barristan Selmy, and Margaery Tyrell- two astrophysicists studying wormholes and Sansa's best friend and pseudo-intern. Marg yells at him, he yells back, Sansa tases him, and Barristan didn't sign up for the kind of heavy lifting that getting a 200+ pound slab of muscle into the back of a van takes. And then Aegon's younger brother, Jon, shows up, in the middle of an identity crisis because, apparently, he's adopted. He wasn't intending to stay, but he's rather drawn to Dr. Stark and her brilliance, and against her better judgement, she starts to trust him, and maybe even like him. This story is in about three parts so far- the first is based on 'Thor' and the second on 'The Avengers' and are fully Jonsa, and the third started as a family bonding story between the Stark kids and Tony (Ned and Tony are second cousins, and Ned was really supportive of Tony in rehab without expecting anything in return), and accidentally turned into a Steve Rogers/Sansa Stark story, which is a pairing i am HERE for. A lot of this one is written, but it needs some fill in before publishing, although it's one of my favorites that i've written to go back and actually read.

- A Star Wars AU (Jonsa) where Sansa and Arya are Alderaanian princesses who are off planet when Alderaan is destroyed- Sansa as a senator and Arya as a pilot, both working for the rebellion, and jon is a smuggler who does not know how all of these people got on his ship and why two princesses are sassing him. His copilot, Tormund (yes he's a wookie), thinks it is hilarious. I started this one just the other day, and it's already thirty pages long, most of them involving Sansa and Arya sassing people. Dany is a leader in the rebellion, Roose Bolton is the emperor, and Barbrey Dustin is a disgruntled former jedi trying to live in peace on a remote planet until another Stark crashes into her life and harangues her into teaching again.

- A witches/magic AU (Jonsa) where the Starks run an apothecary and spellcasting supplies shop. Jon had been completely in the dark about magic before his mother confessed to being born into a family of witches. He finds himself traveling to her hometown, trying to understand her world more clearly, and what it means for him. On the way, he develops something of a crush on the red-headed shop clerk who brews the best headache potions in town. Featuring lots of magical shenanigans, this is one of my favorites in the folder :)

- A 24 hour diner AU (Jonsa) where Jon is a local mob boss, and Sansa works the late shift at Seaworth's diner to buy textbooks for the PhD she's working on in botany. Sansa's running from memories, and Jon has a soft spot for the red-headed waitress who always remembers how he likes his coffee.

- An East of the Sun, West of the Moon AU!!! (Jonsa) This is one of my fav fairy tales, and of course i couldn't resist Jon as a direwolf striking a deal with the starks!

- A Roomates AU (Jonsa)- Arya, Jon, Tormund, and Sam have been renting the same house together off Winterfell's campus for years- but when Sam moves in with his girlfriend, they need one more person on the lease. Sansa, about to relocate to Winterfell for grad school, finds out that her boyfriend has been cheating on her and that her housing plans have fallen through, all on the same day. Needless to say, she's a bit upset when she calls Arya to relay the news. There's a simple solution here, if Arya and Tormund can stop teasing Jon about his crush for five minutes. (any excuse to write tormund and arya roasting jon, tbh).

- A Fae AU (Jonsa)- When Sansa, a baker living in the city, washes her face in an enchanted spring on a camping trip, she gains the sight as a result. Suddenly able to see the fae underworld all around her is disorienting and terrifying. Sansa tries to conceal it- afraid of what might happen if the fae around her know that she can see them- but slips up, and catches the attention of Jon Snow- one of the lords of the unseelie court.

- A nuclear winter wasteland AU (Jonsa)- (?? I don't even know how to describe this premise, haha) where the Starks are living and running the Free Winterfell settlement in Siberia after a worldwide nuclear meltdown. Before the fallout, Sansa was one of the world's preeminent researchers in plant genetics and pathology, and works at the settlement to create newer, disease and radiation resistant crops to distribute for free to other settlements, aiming to break up the monopoly that Lannister Corp has on the market. Jon is a scavenger, searching throughout Siberia for his sister Rhae who disappeared several years previously. When he runs across Arya Starkovna, helping her fight off another band of radiation ravaged scavengers is just instinct- he doesn't think twice about it. In thanks, she brings him to the Winterfell settlement, where her brother Robb offers Jon sanctuary and resources, in exchange for serving as a bodyguard for Sansa when she travels to other settlements. Sansa is not particularly thrilled by this arrangement, but given that multiple parties seem to want her dead, she doesn't have much of a choice but to accept his company.

- A reincarnation AU (Jonsa)- of sorts. Robb is an archaeologist who finds a strange set of runes at a site up north, and immediately calls in Jon Snow- a historian and expert in said ancient language, as well as an old university friend of Robb's. When he arrives though, Robb shows him their most valuable finds- two mysterious ice blocks, with what appear to be perfectly preserved bodies from over a thousand years ago. No one could ever have imagined that either of them were still alive, but when the ice melts, revealing two very alive girls, the entire crew is instantly buried in NDAs, and given an assignment from the Westerosi government to figure out what the hell was going on. Sansa and Arya wake up, extremely confused about the world they live in, trying to adapt and mourning all that they've lost, even as the people around them wear familiar faces.

- Soulmates AU (Jonsa)- (Yes, another one, I love this dumb trope) Trauma surgeon and medical resident Sansa Stark is having a very bad day, and ends up meeting her soulmate during what she thinks is a mugging gone wrong. Fortunately, he’s not the one mugging her, just an intervening bystander, but she ends up slightly shot nonetheless. Sansa’s fretting about bleeding on the upholstery in his car, but Jon is a bit more worried about her injuries than the blood stains. He’s a bit confused when she threatens him if he takes her to a specific hospital, nearly has a nervous breakdown when she insists on doing her own triage, and is very charmed when she insists on ice cream after taking pain meds at the hospital. On Sansa’s part, she’s a little less concerned about being shot, and a bit more concerned about whatever weird first impression she’s making to her soulmate while high as a kite on pain pills. (this one just needs some tweaking to be postable- I'm not sure if it's going to be a oneshot or a series, but i love what I have already)

- A Demon/Archivist AU (Jonsa)- where Sansa works in the university's historical archives in Oldtown, and is learning to restore old texts with her fellow student and friend, Alleras (Trans Sarella is an amazing concept). When Joffrey Baratheon shows up with a pile of old books from his family's library to donate, Sansa is eager to get away from his sleaze, and accidentally takes one of the books home with her in her rush to leave. Unbeknownst to her, it's more than it appears, and when she leaves it open overnight, she accidentally summons forth Jon- an ancient, powerful, and extremely annoyed demon who is under a curse, and now hers to command. As Jon and Sansa try to get used to this new normal, the Lannisters (unaware that Joffrey had donated the tome) try desperately to find the book and it's owner, wanting Jon's power for themselves, and putting Sansa in considerable danger unless she can figure out how to break Jon's curse. Fortunately, she's a pretty good researcher, even if Jon is initially a bit of a grump. (This is based on a total wish-fulfillment mary-sue type premise for something I wrote when I was thirteen, and I revisited it and wanted to see what it would look like if i took it very seriously, and i am really enjoying it so far. It's a love letter to the terrible, heartfelt writing i was doing in middle school that created the foundations for my writing today, and so much fun).

The one that I am MOST excited about though:

- A Pacific Rim AU!!!! (Ned/Cat, Gendrya, Braime, Sansa/Jon Umber)-Twins Sansa and Robb Stark have always been completely in tune with each other, and when your parents are Jaeger pilots and your mother invented the neural handshake, what option is there but the Jaeger academy? Sansa studies to be an engineer, but ends up copiloting the Jaeger 'Winter Wolf' with her twin brother, after they lose Ned Stark to cancer. When Robb is ripped out of the conn-pod and killed by a kaiju while he's still connected to Sansa, she barely manages to kill the creature before stumbling back to shore, traumatized, grieving, and swearing that she'll never pilot again.

Unfortunately, the Kaiju don't stop just because Sansa does, and when the end of the world is imminent, Marshall Catelyn Stark orders both her daughter and former pilot Jaime Lannister (who lost his twin and copilot, Cersei, several years previously) back to Hong Kong for one final stand. Forced to face both her demons and an irate Arya, furious that Sansa had abandoned the rest of them after Robb's death, Sansa and Arya have to figure out how to pilot Winter Wolf together before the apocalypse comes for them all.

Featuring Marshall Catelyn Stark (commander of the Hong Kong Shatterdome, inventor of the neural handshake, former Jaeger pilot, and BAMF), Sansa x Jon Umber (Yes i know it's a rare pair but i've always kind of loved the idea of them, even though we know so little about him), Kaiju parts dealer and smuggler Petyr Baelish, bickering kaiju biologist Dany and theoretical mathematician Jon Snow, LOCCENT officer Theon, lots of snark, lots of angst and heartfelt conversations, and a weird friendship between snarky-grieving-asshole Jaime Lannister and kind-quiet-grieving Sansa Stark, who are the only two people in the world who know what it's like to lose a copilot and a twin in the drift.

Thanks for reading guys!! There are more, but some of them I just don't know how to explain quite yet, haha. I'd love to hear what you guys think about these!

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

Armitage Hux x Female Reader/Kylo Ren x Female Reader

A/N: I really struggled with this chapter, I don’t know why but I just couldn’t write what I wanted 😬 but hey we all have these moments!

Warnings: Canon violence not sure I see anything else.

Word Count: 5392

Read Chapter 9 on AO3 here.

You both looked up as the lights of hyperspace fell away to reveal the stars hanging eternally in their place, the blackness of space peppered with the twinkling lights and you knew, they caught up with the Resistance. Your heart fluttered grateful for the break in the moment. Heat crept up the back of your neck and you avoided the Commanders gaze, ignoring his outstretched hand to help you up and using the table instead. You didn’t trust yourself right now, something was awakening inside you and you weren’t sure if you liked it.

“We found them.” He rumbled, rubbing his thumb against the tips of his fingers not ignoring the slight from you.

“Then you must go, and finish this.” You told him. He loomed over you, waiting for you to look at him but you didn’t. You went to turn away when his hand shot out grabbing your arm exactly where the bruise from Armitage blossomed under your skin and Kylo noted the pain that flickered across your face. He grabbed your chin making you look at him. He felt it, the hurt that Hux had inflicted on you, it radiated from you in waves the physical and the mental pain that plagued you. Kylo smirked before releasing you and marching out of the quarters.

You gripped the edge of the table as he swept past you, taking a breath when his foreboding influence finally dissipated leaving you alone in the unceasing silence. The burn of his touch on your face lingered and you frowned trying to rub it away. You grabbed the datapad off the table and sent a request for Phasma, you had some questions for her.

The chrome clad Captain strode into Hux’s quarters and stood rigidly to attention near the door.

“You sent for me?” She enquired.

“Yes, please. Come and take a seat Phasma.” She hesitated for a moment until she decided to give in to your request. You watched as she stood her staff up against the wall and removed her helmet revealing a handsome woman, her short blonde hair settled perfectly and her sparkling blue eyes were piercing as they swept the room before resting on you. Her motions were slow as she sat stiffly down perched on the edge of the seat.

“I’d offer you a drink,” you started looking at the empty rack. “But my husband smashed the last bottle.” You inwardly smirked, her countenance didn’t shift a micrometer, she stayed perfectly still neither shocked nor accepting at your little snippet of information. “I wanted to talk about him. You’ve known him for many years, knew his father I expect,” a slight movement did catch your eye. Interesting.

“What exactly are you asking me here?” Her voice was rich and crisp at the same time, her accent heavily coated in the Imperial tone and yet there was something more you could hear just underneath.

“I want you to tell me about him, what makes him tick, what he enjoys, what he’s endured, does he have family? Why does he keep the estate on Arkanis?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking him these questions?” You settled back into the softness of the sofa.

“He’s a little tied up right now and we have time to spare.” You could see her trying to figure out a way of escaping you, clearly not wanting to divulge any information about her General at all. “Did you find out who lowered the shields on Starkiller?” You asked suddenly, trying a different tactic.

“Yes, the rebels had accosted one of my troopers. They held him until he lowered the shields for them and then they killed him.”

“Interesting, that one of your troopers would have the clearance to lower the shields planetary wide…do they give those codes out to anyone?” You mused out loud. “Maybe I’ll have to talk to Armitage about protocols and who should be allowed access to such sensitive information.”

“You can’t!” She snapped.

“No?” you challenged, knowing you had her right where you wanted her. “I feel his attention should be brought to this, he is so very heartsick over Starkiller.”

“Alright!” She held up a hand, her eyes closing in resignation. “But you can’t tell him I told you any of this. What do you want to know?” She asked heavily. You regarded her for a moment, hating that she was one of the few people who Armitage trusted and she was one of the reasons Starkiller had fallen.

“Whatever you can give me.”

You had made your way to the TIE assembly line, your mind swirling with everything you’d just learnt. The abuse Hux had endured, the death of his father, how he murdered Admiral Brooks…your heart ached for what he had been put through. The roughness of his life has shaped him into the man he was today and you wanted nothing more than to show him there was so much more to life than control and pain. Turning a corner you paused in the shadows when you saw Kylo standing alone, he swiped a hand over his face, his glove spreading open to look at something in his palm.

“I know you’re there,” he murmured. His voice echoing loudly in the empty space.

“What’s wrong?” You asked as you approached, seeing his palm was wet with water.

“The connection, it’s growing stronger.”

“I don’t understand…” he glanced at you and for the first time you saw the flicker of worry in his eyes.

“With the Jedi, the force is connecting us and I don’t know why.”

“Jedi…the one who gave you that scar?”

“Rey.” The way he said her name made something ugly rear up inside you.

“She’s nothing compared to you,” you spat abruptly. “She got lucky…” you moved over to stare out at the machines as they moved silently in their never ending motions. You tried to find it soothing, to dissipate the swirl of raw emotions that filled you but it didn’t help.

“What’s happened?” Asked Kylo coming up beside you. Looking over your shoulder you saw him, the concern in his expression and a hint of what you saw in his eyes in your quarters.

“It’s nothing.”

“No, I can feel it’s not… I can feel you,” he finished softly.

“I hate what this war is doing to us. To all of us,” you murmured.

“You’re doubting the First Order?” You shot a glare at him but you were unable to read his expression.

“No, not at all. I fully support the need for control over the Galaxy, the New Republic did nothing. They sat in their comfy chairs in their stuffy halls and discussed. The First Order is acting, doing. We are achieving things the Empire could only dream of but the Resistance….” Kylo bowed his head. “Why do they fight us so hard? Why do they not see we are making the Galaxy a better, safer place?” You swept a hand before you. “We are the much needed Order in the chaos. People will be brought to justice swiftly and concisely. Worlds will be given aid where needed, there will be troopers in every major city keeping citizens safe and stamping out crime. The New Republic did not offer this kind of stability, this safety so why…” you looked up at him only to find his amber gaze trained intently on you already. “Why do they go against us so much?”

“We are running them down as we speak, soon there won’t be a Resistance to speak of. All of it will be crushed,” his voice was soft, he sounded tired and you felt the urge to comfort him. You’d seen this man at his most broken but right now he looked completely different. You turned to face him, your eyes running down the redness of his scar hating on the Jedi more and more. Without thinking you raised a hand to touch his cheek, you expected him to flinch like Hux but he was sturdy, his eyes locked onto your face as he let you explore him with your fingertips. Your heartbeat flickered in your chest, a slow burning heat slithered under your skin and you frowned slightly. Your lips parted as the sensations only grew inside you.

A gasp fell from you as the large man pushed you against the transparisteel, his large hands spanning across your hips, his warm breath fanning over your face making your eyelids flutter closed.

“Kylo…!” You whispered in shock. He was close, pressing against you and the feeling wasn’t unpleasant. You felt his nose bury into your hair, his mouth open against your forehead. You breathed him in, your thoughts shattering at the way he smelled, so rich and manly with a hint of starfighter fuel. You knew you should ask him to stop but still you were putty in his hands, you knew this was wrong and yet you couldn’t find the strength to push him away. You tilted your head back to rest on the glass, his face sliding down yours until your mouths were level, whispering against each other with the promise of pleasure. “Kylo…” you whispered again.

“Why are you the only thing that makes sense to me?” He breathed into your skin. You were both gasping heavily, dragging the heat of one another in, your chests heaving in unison as the tension built between you.

“You want this.” It wasn’t a question, just the sound of sureness in his deep voice stirred something inside you.

“I c-can’t. Armitage…” you managed to choke out your husband's name even though the urge to press your lips against Kylo’s was consuming you, the heat creeping up your neck and you could feel your control slipping. He released you, stepping back and disappearing before you could even fully open your eyes. You took a deep breath trying to get a hold of yourself. You’d been so sure in your need for Armitage, in your growing feelings you’d been so sure it was love and yet…Kylo had just shaken the very foundations of your soul and you hated yourself for it.

You marched through the commons area, the redness of your dress drawing eyes as you walked. You were the only one not in uniform, you were a bleeding red rose amongst the whites, greys and blacks that made up the personnel and aesthetic of the Supremacy. You needed to see Armitage, to remind yourself he was who you wanted. You needed to see him on the bridge, you needed to see him have a victory and bring down the Resistance. The pair of you needed a win.

Your head turned to take in two officers and a major as they strode smartly past you. No one else seemed to notice them but you did, you saw their faces and instantly you knew something was wrong. The dark skinned Officer ignored you completely, eyes front his hands clasped behind his back as he strode confidently forward. The second Officer looked like he’d been on the spotchka late into the night, he was unclean and his face was stubble ridden, his hair stuck out at odd angles and he looked nervous. The shortest one, the Major, was a woman with dark hair. Her eyes widened when she saw you staring and she hurried to keep up with the two men. It was fleeting, just a passing moment but something made you slow down, something screamed at you they didn’t belong here. You looked up to the next level seeing a BB unit had also taken an interest in the trio, turning on your heel you made your way to the turbolift to confront the Security Officer.

He was already in conversation with someone else but his eyes widened when he saw you approaching.

“Lady Hux,” he said with a confidence he wasn’t portraying. “You’re the one person on this ship I don’t need to ask for ID.”

“I would imagine Kylo Ren and Supreme Leader Snoke are also on that list, I do feel honoured.” He shifted uncomfortably and you enjoyed it for a moment before remembering why you were talking to him at all.

“I have a matter for you to look into, your droid recorded two officers and a major walking through here and I think they need investigating.”

“Lady Hux…” he was going to dismiss you, it was evident in his face. The way he looked at you had the blood boiled in your veins, readying you for a fight until the droid beeped in agreement. He looked down at the unit with a frown on his face before glancing back at you. “I shall contact Captain Phasma at once.”

“What’s your name Colonel?” You asked silkily as he tapped into his datapad, making a note of his rank that was displayed on his chest and he balked slightly.

“Garmuth, Ansiv Garmuth.”

“Colonel Garmuth, I shall be sure to report your performance to General Hux when I next see him,” you looked at the lift doors as they closed, allowing yourself a little smirk.

Phasma was waiting at the bottom with a squad of troopers and she fell smartly into step with you and the Colonel.

“What’s the situation?” She demanded of you and not the Colonel.

“I think some members of the Resistance are here,” you stated calmly. ”Is Armitage’s tracker aboard this ship?” You asked her.

“Yes.”

“They are trying to liberate their fleet,” you concluded with sneer.

“You can’t know th—,” Phasma came to an abrupt stop and turned to the Colonel, her staff slamming into the ground cutting him off.

“Got something to say Colonel?” He bristled before her, a red flush appearing across his face.

“Yes, we have no evidence, how did they get on board? No unauthorised ships have disembarked, no alarms have gone off…”

“You don’t believe the Resistance could sneak their way on board this ship?” You crossed your arms as Phasma towered over the man. “Never underestimate your enemy Colonel, you of all people should know that. Let’s move.” You didn’t even dignify him with a glance, you had Phasma’s support and that was all you needed. Phasma told some troopers to go round the other side and the squad split, the other half leaving with the Colonel.

“You know if this turns out to be nothing, he will be gunning for you,” whispered Phasma through her helmet. You turned and made an innocent face at her.

“Who me? I’m no one of importance, why would the Colonel listen to me?”

“I hope Hux knows what he’s let himself in for, marrying you,” she whispered with a hint of amusement.

“Oh Captain, you have no idea,” you breathed. The droid alerted you that the main door had been breached and you stood to the side as Phasma and her troopers flooded the space around the tracker. You walked in catching the eye of the woman and you saw her face fall.

“FN-2187. How good to see you again.” Phasma gleefully said. “Cuff them.” You watched the ex-trooper, his eyes never leaving the chrome clad Captain hatred pouring from him in waves. The girl looked terrified but tried to cover it up with indifference as she was roughly cuffed. Their companion however grabbed your attention. He didn’t fight being cuffed and his eyes rose to you, he looked like he didn’t fit and something made you want to talk to him. As they filed out, Phasma proudly led the way you fell in beside the taller man, he sneaked another look at you compelling you to speak.

“Who are you?” You asked, casting an eye over him. “Because you’re not First Order Officer, that's for sure.”

“D-depends who’s asking,” he stuttered. You grinned disarmingly.

“I get the feeling you’re not really with these two, an ex-trooper and some Resistance scum who are most probably going to be executed for their troubles knowing Captain Phasma and General Hux…” you let that hang between you for a moment.

“Will you cut me a d-d-deal?” You held a hand up halting the troopers leading him.

“If your information is worthy. I will see to your release.” He mulled over your words, running his eyes over you.

“You’re not First Order,” he stated. “How do I know I can give this information to you?”

“If you must know, I'm General Hux’s wife. Now, do you have some information or not?” He chuckled lightly and you raised an eyebrow in irritation.

“The ginger managed to marry you? How?” Your mouth set into a hard line and you motioned for the troopers to carry on walking. His eyes widened in horror and his voice rose. “Ok ok I’m sorry! Look I’ve some information you will find useful. You want to get rid of the Resistance right? I’ve got just the thing.”

When you entered the hangar with the thief trailing after you the first thing you saw were the stormtroopers, a full regiment all arranged in parade formation. TIEs were fueled and ready, prepared for war. Transports were sitting with their ramps open waiting to receive their troopers. You could see the AT-M6s attached to the drop ships ready for a ground assault. All perfectly placed around what was happening in the middle, you saw Finn and Rose on their knees being restrained, Phasma watching with delight no doubt as they tried to fight but getting nowhere. You watched Armitage advance on Finn, no words were spoken, just the telltale irritated flex of Hux’s back as they stared at each other.

The crack of Hux’s hand across the kneeling man’s face sounded loudly across the silent hangar and even you flinched but Finn took it. His head snapped to the side and he turned back to Hux with even more hatred in his eyes.

“Well done Phasma,” The General said loudly, turning back to face his Captain. “I can’t say I approve of the methods, but I can’t argue with the results.” His eyes flickered to you and the man skulking behind you. The ship the thief had been promised glided through the hangars magnetic shields it’s engines almost silent as it settled on its cushiony landing gear. Hux made a motion and you walked forward with DJ at the same time some troopers wheeled out a large pallet full of black crates. You stood beside Phasma, watching the man stride forward and claim the pallet with greedy hands, Finn and Rose watching on with confused faces.

“Your ship and payment as we agreed,” you stated calmly.

“You lying snake!” Rose suddenly lunged forward, her bound hands outstretched but she barely made it a foot before the troopers were dragging her back into position. Finn sat there with a shocked expression on his face as he watched the exchange.

“We got caught. I cut a d-d-deal.” Confessed DJ. Confusion clouded Finn’s face, it was something you noticed with people who were used to wearing masks. Whereas Hux could keep his expression completely clear of all emotion, people like Kylo, Phasma and the troopers couldn't keep their expressions quiet.

“Wait, cut a deal with what?” Hux smirked at Finn before turning to face the commander who strode up to the group.

“Sir, we checked on the information from the thief. We ran a decloaking scan and sure enough thirty Resistance transports have launched from the cruiser.” Hux nodded and pursed his lips, his gaze sliding from you to DJ.

“You told us the truth, will wonders never cease?” You looked at the Resistance scum as they tried to keep up with what was happening while constantly fighting their bindings, much to your amusement. “Are our weapons ready?” Asked Hux and you repressed a shiver. This was it, this was what you had all been waiting for, the victory was so close you could almost taste it and the Resistance themselves had delivered it right into the lap of the First Order.

“Ready and aimed, sir.” Confirmed the commander.

“No!” Yelled Finn loudly, his distress echoing among his ex comrades. Hux stared at him for a moment, clearly lording this moment over the deserter before giving his final order.

“Fire at will.” Now Rose screamed her distress and you watched with an odd sense of detachment. They deserved this, why couldn’t they see the bigger picture? They had tried to take down the First Order and they failed, this was their price. You locked eyes with the thief, nodding your head to make him move and he took his pallet and began to head to his ship.

“You murdering bastard!” Screamed Finn, making DJ turn one last time.

“Listen, they blow you up one day, you blow them up the next. It’s just business,” he shrugged before turning away and disappearing from view.

You took this moment to move closer to Hux, he was staring at the dark skinned man with a hatred you hadn’t seen before. It was in his posture, in the way he gripped his hands and you could read the effort it was taking for him to keep his temper under control in the company of a deserter. This man had defected from the people who raised him, trained him, brought him up and poured everything into him only for Finn to throw it back at them. Hux’s gaze flickered over to Rose who was now still, soft sobs wracked her body and she looked up as he approached, fire spitting from her eyes. He reached for the medallion that had fallen over her uniform and you watched with interest, you’d never seen anything like it before.

“The Otomok system?” He asked softly. She flinched when he grabbed her face but her anger didn’t diminish. “That brings back memories,” he snarled softly. “You vermin may draw a little blood with a bite now and then but we will always win.” You saw the hatred passing between, a silent understanding of pure loathing, broken when she lunged and sunk her teeth into his hand. You reacted on instinct, before anyone else had even known what had happened you stepped forward and slapped the side of her head making her release your husband’s hand. She cried out and your hand throbbed from the force of the hit making you curl it into a fist. Now her hateful gaze was on you as the troopers dragged her back into position. You could feel Hux vibrating with rage next to you and his gaze was furious as he swept it over the prisoners, he straightened his coat before putting a firm hand around your waist.

“Execute them both!” His deep gravelly shout was loud and it reverberated around you. He dragged you with him, turning his back and dismissing the rebel scum and leaving Phasma to deal with them. He set a swift pace to a transport at the back of the hangar.

“What is this?” You asked quietly.

“I’m sending you to the Finalizer,” he stated, withdrawing his hands and clasping them behind his back.

“What? No! I want to stay here with you.”

“The view will be better from the Finalizer,” he stated stiffly, you could see the anger from the exchange still etched all over his face and in the way he stood before you.

“The view? Don’t you think it would be better to watch it from the lead ship? Why are you sending me away?” You hissed desperately trying to keep your voice low.

“This ship is clearly a target and I would just feel better if you were…home.” His gaze flickered to meet yours but only briefly before pulling away again. He was worried and he didn’t want to express it outloud.

“And you will…”

“As soon as I can.” You sighed knowing you had no choice. Your gaze swept the hangar one last time, noticing the absence of a large dark figure. The least he could do was show his support for his troops, where was he?

“Ok.” Hux relaxed just a little as you gave into his request.

“I have to go,” you nodded, already turning to head up the ramp until the sound of your name stopped you. “I am grateful for your hand in today’s affairs. If it wasn’t for you, they may have gotten away.” You smiled, taking the praise he was offering you and watching him stride purposefully away, his coat flaring with each step as he headed back to the bridge. The Resistance scum were going to be executed and you couldn’t help the sense of pride you felt in bringing those scumbags into the light. The ramp closed firmly and the ship moved through the magnetic fields and headed to the Finalizer at the edge of the fleet.

Mitaka was ready to welcome you back on board, you wanted to hug him and squeeze his boyish cheeks, you were so excited but taking his arm would do. You chatted telling him what had happened as he walked you to the bridge. He turned to address a commander and your attention was grabbed by the Resistance cruiser that the fleet was running down, it really was a sight to see. You followed the line of cannon fire from the Supremacy and watched with satisfaction as it ended in a flare of orange. This would all be over soon, you thought with a sense of relief, your gaze drifted back to the cruiser and you frowned.

“Mitaka…?”

“Yes?” He came up next to you at the viewport. You pointed, not really sure how to voice what you were seeing.

“That Resistance cruiser…it’s turning.” He looked up sharply, his gaze taking in the scene before him, his eyes widening in horror.

“Get us out of range! NOW!” He bellowed. Your heart skipped more than one beat, the panic in Dopheld’s voice told you everything you needed to know about what you were seeing but it was too late to move the Finalizer. “Angle the shields!” Your hands plastered themselves on the freezing transparisteel, your breath escaping from you in a rush but you could only watch as the events unfolded before you. You could hear orders being shouted, alarms ringing out loudly but it all melded into background noise as realisation dawned on you.

“Armitage….” You whispered his name and it flared on the transparisteel before vanishing as though it never existed. The cruiser melted into light speed and the damage was instantly catastrophic. The white light that shot through the fleet was inescapable, blinding and it seared into the back of your eyes making you flinch but you couldn't look away. Ships disintegrated into nothingness as everyone on the Finalizer stopped and watched with the same feeling of horror that gripped your heart. Everything was gone, obliterated in the wake of the cruiser, the Supremacy was cleaved in two, debris shooting from the broken ship and your brain shattered with it. “ARMITAGE!” You were vaguely aware the scream came from you before you were running to find a ship, a transport, an escape pod, anything that could get you to the Supremacy. Arms encircled your waist and you fought with everything you had but Mitaka easily overpowered you, dragging you into his arms in a bundle on the floor. “Mitaka let me go! LIEUTENANT! Let me go!!”

“No no! It’s too late!” He tried to tell you but still your arms shoved at him refusing to believe anything he was telling you. “Make contact with the Supremacy at once! Launch all ships and retrieve the survivors, scan for escape pods…” your body relaxed to the sound of his voice but your mind was screaming so very loudly. You gripped Mitaka’s arm as he rocked you slightly, still commanding the bridge as he held you tightly. You couldn’t look up from the floor, you were barely holding yourself together, feeling the cracks begin to creep through your insides the longer it went without hearing anything from Hux. You were fracturing, tears threatening to fall, your body about to completely rip apart when a holoimage emerged, flickering and incomplete but it was his voice….you dared to hope as the image reflected your splintered soul. Mitaka left you to stand before the image but none of you could hear what he was saying clearly.

“M-M’taka….tus rep’rt….survivors as m-many….can on….ship.” Was all that was heard before it fizzled out.

“General! Blast it! See if you can establish a better connection with the Supremacy and any remaining ships, I want those transports out there now!” He bent down to help you up, holding your trembling hand tightly in his own. “He seemed alright, giving orders as usual,” he commented quietly.

“It was definitely him?” You asked, still not overly sure.

“Yes it was, My Lady I suggest you return to your quarters…”

“You’re going to have an influx of survivors, I can help.” Mitaka paused, the medbay was going to be overrun for sure, the Finalizer wasn’t built for the amount of personnel it was about to house. “I can do basic first aid, even bandage and hand out supplies, Dopheld please I can’t just sit and do nothing,” you begged.

“Fine, fine! Just be careful and I’ll update you if we hear anything.”

“Thank you,” you breathed, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before striding off.

The next few hours went by in a rush and still there was no sign of Armitage, or Kylo. You tried not to fret but the horror stories that were being told by the survivors made your blood run cold and so soon after Starkiller tensions were running high. The hatred for what the Resistance had done filled the immense hangar like an overbearing cloud, it shone in everyone’s eyes and with good reason.

“They’ve gone down to Crait to finish off the Resistance, Hux and Ren…” you whirled around and advanced on the officer who spoke. His eyes widened as he saw you approached. “F-forgive me My Lady…”

“They’re alive??” You demanded abruptly.

“The General and The Supreme Leader, yes.”

“What about the Commander?” You asked frowning slightly.

“Well….he is the Supreme Leader now.” Oh.

“Snoke?” The Officer's expression twisted slightly.

“That Jedi girl killed him.” Good. From witnessing the mess Armitage and Kylo were in after seeing Snoke you were glad he was dead but at the same time it was yet another defeat at the hands of the Resistance. Starkiller, the Fulminatrix, now the Supremacy and more than half the fleet including Snoke….you hoped the last remaining members would be crushed under the massive First Order boot. You murmured a thank you to the injured officer and made your way through the hangar, seeing that almost everyone had been seen and was getting the attention they needed.

You looked up to see Mitaka standing by the massive doors and you made your way over but the closer you got the more dread filled your limbs and you slowed down. Your breathing was shallow as you imagined the worst and not for the first time today, Dopheld’s face was downcast and as you approached him he removed his hat slowly, spinning it in his hands nervously.

“Mitaka you’re scaring me,” he tugged on your arm pulling you aside.

“I am sorry to be the one to tell you this…”

“Is it Armitage? Kylo? Lieutenant just spit it out!” You snapped instantly regretting your small outburst. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He gripped your hand and you closed your eyes.

“It’s Captain Phasma…”

“Oh is she here?” You asked immediately.

“Ah…”

“Because I’d like to see her, I'd like to see someone,” you whispered looking around. You wanted them to be alright, you needed to see one person who had been on the Supremacy, if you could see and speak to Phasma you would just feel better. You knew it.

“S-she didn’t make it.” It felt like the floor dropped from below your feet and you leaned heavily on him. “I’m sorry, My Lady.”

“Phasma, are you sure?” He nodded.

“Reports have come in, they saw her battling with the rogue trooper...”

“FN-2187? Didn’t get executed?”

“It would seem not.” You let a soft sob escape and Mitaka pulled you into his shoulder. “It is a dark day for the First Order.”

[colehasapen]

(ONE SHOT) don’t build hope on something broken  STAR WARS

Febuwhump No. 2 - “I can’t take this anymore”

A03

Hidden away from prying eyes, Rex curls around himself, trying to ignore the pain radiating through every part of his body, trying to push away the ache in his head.

He had known what would happen the moment Krell had ordered him to meet with him; he had  known that the General hadn’t been pleased that the men had refused to go through with the execution, had known immediately that someone would need to pay for the orders that hadn’t been followed. Rex had gone into the meeting knowing that someone would need to face the General’s ire, and he’d known that as long as it was  him , he’d accept any punishment if it meant his men wouldn’t have to, if it meant that Fives and Jesse wouldn’t be killed, wouldn’t need to suffer for their bravery.

He’d gone in, fully prepared for the blows that rained down on him, the poison spewed in his face, because he’d been weathering it since the first moment General Krell had stepped foot on the planet, but they’d gotten more frequent since taking the base. There was less time for Rex to gather himself afterwards, to lick his wounds, because Krell no longer needed to worry about someone stumbling on them, no longer needed to worry about someone seeing the punishments the General rained down on him.

Rex could withstand them, had been withstanding them since he was too little to understand why what he was was wrong. He could take a beating, had been for years. Sure, he hadn’t since the War broke out, but he was accustomed to it, and if it was him, it would mean that none of the others would be hurt. He would take any punishment, if it meant his brothers wouldn’t have to.

General Krell had been furious when Rex had walked in. Had been nearly frothing in rage as he’d paced back and forth, ranting against the troopers that hadn’t followed his orders, a pale-faced and quiet Dogma in the corner of the office, and Rex had been afraid. Terrified that Dogma would be hurt, or had already been hurt, because he’d had no idea how long Dogma had been there while Rex had been trying to keep the men and himself together - in the chaos that had followed Fives and Jesse being confined to the brig, he’d forgotten about Dogma.

What kind of Captain was he if he had forgotten the one brother that was the closest to the General. The one most in harm's way if General Krell lost his temper.

Rex had stood silent, at attention, while the General paced, begging any power out there that the Jedi would send Dogma out, that the young trooper wouldn’t be hurt. He couldn’t fault Dogma for his insistence on following orders, he knows Dogma’s history. He knows what happened to Dogma before coming to the 501st, knows the thin line the younger man walks on, because another failure on Dogma’s record would bring censure. No trooper was sent to a Penal Battalion twice; if he didn’t follow orders to the letters, if a single complaint was filed against him, the best future Dogma would have to look forward to would be death.

He hopes that General Krell didn’t know how tight of a noose was tied around Dogma’s neck.

But there was no power out there that would respond to a clone.

Rex hadn’t made a sound when blows started raining down on him, hadn’t made a sound at the cruel words spat at him. He had kept himself quiet and still, had tried to block out the pain and the cruelty, tried to push away the aborted sounds Dogma was making. He had wanted desperately to assure his brother, to order him not to make a sound, but he hadn’t wanted to draw Krell’s attention to the younger trooper. He would withstand all of it, if it meant his brothers wouldn’t have to.

When Krell’s anger had finally run its course, he had left Rex there, limp on the ground, breathing through the pain in his lungs, coughing on the blood in his mouth, trying not to let anything show because Dogma was still there. Dogma is still in the room, rooted to the spot where he had been the whole time, shivering and breath shuttering, and Rex wants to comfort him, to pull him close until his tears run dry, but he hurts too much to move.

He doesn’t know how much more he can take.

Rex groans, then flinches when hands land on him, expecting a blow that never comes, mind spiralling into beatings and pain and never being good enough, and for a moment, Rex is CT-7567 again, scared and alone and beaten down until his will to go on broke. There’s no Cody here, no Alpha-17 to drag him out and protect him. There’s no Fordo and no Keeli; it’s only Rex, trapped in his own mind, chained by the agony of beatings.

It’s only Rex, and Dogma. Dogma who is gripping his shoulder, who is no longer trapped in the corner of the office, and who is staring at Rex with wide amber eyes, his face chalky. Dogma who saw  everything.

Shame threatens to drown him, just as much as the blood caught in his throat. It bubbles up like acid, burning and hot inside of him, and Rex gets barely a moment of warning before he’d jerking away from his subordinate to retch onto the floor instead of Dogma’s armour.

Rex coughs, eyes watering, as bile flecked with blood dribbles past his chapped lips. His chest aches somewhere deep, something shifts, and Rex feels broken in more ways than one. “I can’t take this anymore.” He’s barely even aware of speaking out loud, his voice shattered, barely more than a whisper, but they hang in the air like a sword above his neck, threatening to drop if he lets himself fall apart.

Dogma’s voice wavers, thick with unshed tears and shaking with stress, “Captain?”

“‘M sorry.” Rex whispers, fumbling blindly for the kid’s hand, and when he finds it, he squeezes with as much comfort as he can offer. “I’m sorry - you shouldn’t have seen that.”

Dogma’s face, still round with youth but sharp from the lack of food they’d all been suffering from, swims into his blurry vision. Force, he was still a  kid, not even fully grown and he was already out on the battlefield, a death sentence hanging around his neck if he so much as stepped out of line once. Rex had tried desperately to protect all his  vod’ike, but Umbara had shown him how much of a failure he was.

He couldn’t keep any of them safe.

“Captain - are you -” he stumbles over his words, shaking like a leaf in the winds, “- how bad are you hurt?”

Rex lets out a pained breath between his teeth, pushing himself onto his knees so he wasn’t slumped near his own sick any longer, “I’ll live.” He sways slightly, bumping shoulders with the young trooper as he curls a hand loosely across the back of the kid’s neck, shoring up his own bravado. “I’ve had worse.”

“Sir -” Dogma’s voice breaks, quivers, sounding young and lost, “- the General - he - he  beat you.”

“Yeah.” The Captain hisses, casting his eyes for where he had dropped his helmet. He’s glad that Krell had confined the blows to his torso, where his armour could absorb the worst of the attacks; he wouldn’t have to waste bacta on his face this time, luckily, because they didn’t have the bacta to spare on keeping his dirty little secret hidden.

“Sir, you need Kix.”

Rex jolts, “No.” His words tilt towards his captain-voice, carrying a desperate order. Kix couldn’t know - no one could. There was too much at stake; Rex knows that if Kix knew what Krell was doing to him, nothing would stop his usually soft-spoken medic from confronting the General, and Rex has enough nightmares of the green glow of a lightsaber reflected in Fives’ eyes to let anyone else be risked. “No, Kix can’t know.”

“Captain,  please.” Dogma begs, gripping desperately at him, “You’re  hurt!”

“Don’t make me make it an  order, trooper.”

The private flinches back, eyes widening, before his expression shutters once more, falling into the mask of a perfect soldier, but the redness of his eyes betrays his true thoughts. Rex hates it, he wishes he could take those words back, but this is his burden to bear.

“Yes sir.”

There’s too much at stake.

Taglist: @a-mediocre-succulent @yellowisharo @spoofymcgee @roseofalderaan @everything-or-anything @bellablue42  

[anotherhawk]

Second Chance Ghost - Star Wars prequel trilogy fic

Warning: this contains major character death, though if I continue it the dead character in question will still be hanging around so to speak.

Summary: Obi-Wan is sent back in time allowing him a chance to fix everything. Unfortunately he and the Force have a fundamental disagreement about precisely WHERE everything went wrong. In a reactor plant under Naboo Qui-Gon watches his padawan change - and then watches his padawan dies.

Story on AO3 here or below the cut

Inspired by @feybarn story Averting Galactic Destruction

Qui-Gon didn't understand what was happening. The Sith from Tattooine had been waiting for them, and he and Obi-Wan had managed to drive him away from the Queen, back towards the palace reactor, but then the Force had seemed to swell around them, building, and building until it sang a crescendo and then in an instant his padawan had changed. He had been fighting beside him as always, dependable, supportive, and then he had taken a step back, bringing his 'saber up in an unfamiliar block and Qui-Gon was fighting alongside a stranger. Their training bond was gone – not broken, he would have felt that, but withered - and Obi-Wan's shields were like nothing he'd felt before. Smooth. Deep. Impenetrable.

He didn't understand, but there wasn't any time to question. There was only the moment, and this moment was among the most difficult fights in his life. The Sith was a dangerous opponent, constantly drawing on the dark side until the very air was choked with fear and anger, and to make matters worse Obi-Wan was fighting in a very different way than he ever had before – different from everything Qui-Gon had ever tried to teach him. For some unfathomable reason he seemed to be utilising Soresu, or at least some variation on it. He'd always taught his apprentice that the third form was among the weakest, particularly when it came to lightsaber combat, and Obi-Wan had always agreed in the past. And even if that wasn't the case this was hardly the moment to be experimenting with something new...although this couldn't be new, could it? Obi-Wan moved like a seasoned master, and despite his newly defensive style it was him and not Qui-Gon who was giving the Sith most trouble. Obi-Wan effortlessly blocked every attack from that staff, and again and again he found holes in the zabrak's defences, leaving him stumbling back, hissing with anger.

Qui-Gon was proud. Qui-Gon was afraid. Was this really his padawan?

The fight took them deeper into the reactor levels, into a long corridor split by a series of cycling force fields. The Sith moved quickly, scuttling backwards trying to cut them off and Qui-Gon pulled the Force through his muscles, moving faster still, determined not to let the creature escape. He was stopped as the forcefield cycled on again, rippling up from the ground and he stopped in front of it, taking a deep breath, releasing his fear and uncertainty from the battle and from his padawan's odd behaviour into the Force. In that same instant Obi-Wan went sailing over his head, narrowly missing being bisected by the Force field. That was rash. Impetuous. And it hadn't even worked – although Obi-Wan was ahead of him he was still separated from the Sith.

He knelt down and let the Force buoy him up. It seemed...excited, perhaps even joyous. Perhaps the battle for Naboo was won already and he was feeling the people's jubilation, but there was a sense of anticipation that seemed to belay that.

He knelt, the Sith paced, and Obi-Wan....Obi-Wan spoke.

“Maul,” he said. “It doesn't have to go this way.”

The Sith stopped moving, eyes fixed now on Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon felt a muscle in his cheek twitching. “What are you doing?” he demanded through a bond that was too closed off for him to be sure of being heard. “What are you talking about?”

“You could walk away right now. You could leave and never go back to him. He doesn't make you strong. He can't make you strong; he needs you to be weak.”

 The Sith – Maul? - spoke, voice low and raspy. “You know nothing, little Jedi.”

“Perhaps. But I know how you die. I know how much you suffer before you do. ” He spoke with” certainty and, alarmed, Qui-Gon recognised the signs of a vision.

“Obi-Wan!” he sent desperately. “Keep your mind in the here and now. The future is always changing. Be in the moment, my padawan.”

This time he did get a response of sorts; a pulse of amusement wrapped in a grief so deep and vast it could snuff out the stars. Force, what had happened? What had his padawan endured, and how could he have missed it?

“And I know you have family out there. Two brothers who love you dearly. They are not safe from his grasp either.”

For a moment uncertainty rippled through the Force and he wondered if Maul would run, wondered if Obi-Wan truly expected them to let him go if he did. But then with a buzz the forcefields started to fall again, and the Sith raised his light staff once more. “None of us are safe from his grasp,” he snarled, and the fight was on again. Blue clashed against red, and the two, moving faster than any fighters he had ever seen, vanished from his sight.

He got to his feet before the shields had finished cycling, anxiety raising through him. He couldn't leave Obi-Wan to fight alone, not knowing his padawan's mind wasn't fully on this battle.

When he caught up they were fighting around some large pit and he quickly made his way to Obi-Wan's side, launching a new attack from the side, trying to push the Sith back still further.

He couldn't say exactly what caused it. Perhaps he was too distracted by his padawan. Perhaps he was too worried for him. Perhaps he was getting older, or perhaps it was simply that the Sith was better than him. No matter the reason he was too slow to draw back after his attack, too slow to see the feint in the counter attack and in an instant his arm was gone, severed in a millisecond of fire and agony. He fell to his knees and watched in slow motion as the red saber swung back, heading unerringly for his neck. Closing his eyes, he awaited death.

It didn't come. And all around him the Force screamed.

When he looked again Obi-Wan was there, standing directly in front of the Sith – standing too close, far too close. He turned his head towards Qui-Gon, meeting his gaze, smiling ever so slightly, before he raised his 'saber in an approximation of a simple salute and cut the Sith in two.

Deactivated, the red saber fell out of the dying Sith's hands....and out of Obi-Wan's chest. The only sound in the chamber was it clattering to the floor, and the Sith's ragged breathing.

Obi-Wan dropped to his knees beside Maul. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, and the Sith said something too low for Qui-Gon to catch. A second later Obi-Wan reached up and with a bloody hand he closed Maul's eyes.

Qui-Gon was numb. He didn't understand. But the Force was howling, deep and vast and unendurable, and he forced himself to get to his feet, to stumble through this nightmare. He reached Obi-Wan's side just as his padawan crumpled to the floor. “It's going to be alright,” he lied as he checked the wound.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan smiled, his face serene, his eyes impossibly clear. “Yes, I believe it is. You must train Anakin, Master.”

“Don't think about that now.” There was no need to put pressure on the wound; lightsaber wounds didn't bleed, but he fumbled for his comm unit, trying to call for help one-handed. It was too deep, too much for anyone to heal, but he had to try. He couldn't just...he couldn't.... The comm unit was gently plucked out of his hands and carried away by the Force.”

“Master,” Obi-Wan said patiently. “You must train Anakin. He needs you.” His face twisted with pain and something else...regret? “Please don't let him down. He deserves a better Master this time.”

He grabbed Obi-Wan's hand. “Padawan...I know I wasn't always there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry. I never meant to let you down. I -”

Obi-Wan squeezed his hand. “Hush, Qui-Gon. I don't have much time – don't make this about me.”

“You're dying,” he choked out. “Obi-Wan, why? You should have blocked it, or if you couldn't you should have let me die. Not this. I never wanted this, padawan.” I love you.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, like that was all that mattered. “Please. Take care of him. And remember; it doesn't matter whether or not he's the chosen one. It matters that he's Anakin. That's all.” His eyes slipped closed and his Force presence flickered.

“Hang on,” Qui-Gon told him, desperately, uselessly. “Please, Obi-Wan. Stay with me.”

“Thank you for your teachings, Master,” he murmured, a smile on his face. “And if I could be selfish a moment longer...if you ever meet Cody please tell him I love him and I'm sorry.” He opened his eyes for a moment but couldn't seem to focus on Qui-Gon. “There is no death...” he whispered and then he gave a shudder and he was gone.

The Force howled again and for a moment Qui-Gon was looking down at Obi-Wan's face, slack and empty, and then his body simply faded from view and Qui-Gon was left holding empty air where his child should be.

Obi-Wan was gone.

He pulled the torn and bloodied robe to his heart and wept.

[tessaliagrey]

Bo’s redemption - or the lack thereof

Every time we get an episode of Star Wars that has Bo-Katan in it, tumblr is full of everything from “OMG I love her, she’s the coolest and sooo badass!” to “OMG I hate her, she’s a terrorist!”. And I might say you are all right.

One of the things that comes up periodically is Bo-Katan’s redemtion - or the lack thereof - depending on how you see her character in general (see above).

In my opinion, Bo has no real redemption arc. And I don’t think we’ll ever get one. As to why, I think it helps to retrace her steps...as far as we as viewers know them.

The first time we see her in mid-season four of TCW, she is a faceless (literally) Death Watch lieutenant on Carlac. She slaps Ahsoka’s ass, burns down a town, helps kill the townspeople and tries to kill Ahsoka and Lux Bontari as they escape. And she seems to have fun doing all that. Yep, solid terrorist. And I’m not budging on that. There is nothing “badass” about that. It’s just wrong.

The first time we see her as an independent character is during the Lawless arc. She’s still fully emerged in Death Watch. And even though she might not think of getting Maul to “help” is a good idea (I think she really thinks that Sith are no better than Jedi), she stands by Vizsla’s decision to join forces with him.

But that is also the part where we begin to see that while she is loyal to Vizsla, she is also probably one of very few people who are allowed to contradict him. Maybe not publicly, but at least bewteen the two of them. She tells Vizsla to his face that she thinks joinging forces with Maul and Savage is a bad idea. But she seems to trust Vizsla so much that only a few words from him are needed to quench her fears; at least for the time being.

But the longer this allience between Maul and Death Watch lasts, the more worried she gets. She sees that Vizsla is loosing his grip on the situation. But her trust in him seems to be unbreakable. Even when he says that “Maul will soon be dead alongside the duchess”, she doesn’t say anything. She just smirks. He tells her to her face that her sister will die at the end, and she doesn’t say anything. (As to why, we can only speculate, and that’s not what I want to get into right now.)

And then, for a few days maybe, everything looks like it all panned out the way she wanted. Maul and her sister are imprisoned, a “true” Mandalorian rules, and the people will find their way back to the warrior faith that was still openly practiced until the beginning of Satine’s rule after the civil war.

But then, everything changes. And quickly. Maul escapes his prison and challenges Vizsla to a duel, which he naturally accepts (he might just run himself through with the Dark Saber if he didn’t). And loses. He dies; unceremoniously, broken and defeated. And only then, only in those last few moments of Vizsla’s life, does Bo-Katan realize that it was all for nothing. That her vision of Mandalore will not come to pass. That it ended in one swift motion of a black blade.

Maul declares himself ruler of Mandalore, and a not unsignificant part of Death Watch bows down to him. Bo rejects his rule - not because he killed Vizsla, which Bo is visibly shocked by - but because “no outsider will ever rule Mandalore”. She and others loyal to her, like the Nite Owls, make a run for it and escape the palace.

She then teams up with her nephew Korkie (How the hell did they get in touch?) to rescue Satine (Why? We never learn that!), and Bo seriously tries to save her sister’s life. But they are overpowered by Maul’s Death Watch loyalists and barely escape while Satine is recaptured as bait for Obi-Wan.

We don’t know where Bo was when Maul killed Satine or how she learned about her sister’s death. The next time we see her, she and her Nite Owls rescue Obi-Wan from being imprisoned and help him escape, asking him to tell the Republic what happened, even if it meant a Republic invasion of Mandalore. The reason she gives is that “Maul will die. But Mandalore will survive.” Why she wants Maul dead; if it is because he killed her sister, because he killed Vizsla or because he’s - from her POV - the reason it all failed, we never learn. Maybe, in the end, it is a combination of all three. But that is speculation.

Well, the Republic doesn’t get a move on when it comes to Mandalore and it takes the unlikely alliance of Bo-Katan and Ahsoka to get Anakin and Obi-Wan to agree. Again, all we really know is that Bo wants Maul off Mandalore, preferably in pieces. She brings up Satine to goad Obi-Wan into helping her, but we still don’t know if she actually grieves/grieved for her sister, or more for a lost ideal of Mandalore.

Well, the siege of Mandalore finally happens, and by the end, Bo is left in charge as regent. It is also the only time we hear any words of regret from her. “I wish I was good at something other than war.”

After that we have a nice 17 year gap in Bo’s story, and anything we know about that time comes down to hearsay. We learn that she was betrayed by Clan Saxon (who had followed Maul) and had to flee Sundari. We get the feeling that Fenn Rau as a protector knew her personally around the time of her regency, but we don’t really know that for sure.

But something in the past seventeen years did change in Bo-Katan. Well, it is quite some time to reflect on your actions and choices. We get the feeling that she did learn to understand her sister’s motives, though they will never be hers. And that she can recognize what her sister acomplished as a leader. She’s a lot more considerate of other people’s positions. But we never hear a word of regret for what she did during the Clone Wars, for being part of Death Watch. And maybe that is because there simply is no regret. Bo-Katan as a person might be a lot calmer and a lot more considerate, but her ideals of what Mandalore should be, of what it stands for and what it means to be Mandalorian, haven’t changed.

Bo-Katan may have matured; grown as a person. She does try to do right by her people. But there is no redemption. We might like the way her character is portrayed in Rebels and The Mandalorian, and we might even wish for her to be redeemed, but quite honestly: How?

No, I’m afraid we will have to live with our conflicting views of Lady Bo-Katan of House Kryze, where we love her and hate her, but can’t get around her. And face it, people, we wouldn’t want it any other way.

[partly-cloudyskies]

AO3 Tag Game Tagged by @big-meows​

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 17

2. What is your total AO3 word count? 390,481

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Ducktales, Night in the Woods, Outer Wilds, Deltarune, Amphibia, XCOM

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

There Will Be No Dancing (1,033)

Hypothesis (845)

Under the Shadow of the Snack Falcon (598)

Rite of Spring (474)

The Haunter of the Cafeteria (357)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Mmmmmm I’m pretty inconsistent with how I respond and my reasons are basically just where I’m at headspace wise at the moment. Some fics, I’ll never comment at all and it’s just because I’m in that mood where I want to bury myself under blankets and not interact with anyone. To all of you who have responded to such fics, know that I love and appreciate your kind words but the stars just did not align. When I do respond to comments, it’s usually in the first week or so, then I tend to drop off. If someone leaves a comment on a fic I wrote, like, years ago and have kind of forgotten about, I’ll drop a note as like a thanks for hitting up my old fic. I’m glad that people find them and find reason to enjoy them. Thanks yall.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? God, I don’t think I’ve written an angsty ending. I don’t know, I guess I just like fluff of one degree or another. I think the closest thing I wrote to an angsty ending was... Monument but the angst really wasn’t the point, so much as the atmosphere moments before doom and the kind of introspection that comes from it that feels profound in retrospect. And even then I don’t know how angsty it is because the idea that there can be a retrospect perspective after doom is kind of hopeful, right? Or something.

7. Do you write crossovers? Not yet. I think of one, from time to time. I like the idea of a Weblena story in a Star Wars setting. Look I’ve seen the Ninth Jedi and Kimiko Glenn makes a great Jedi.

EDIT: I JUST REALIZED THIS IS HOW WE GROW  IS ABSOLUTELY A CROSSOVER.

Look

You have to understand that I really don’t care much for Ducktales outside of Weblena (Goldie can stay. Goldie is good). What this means is that Weblena is just... like... the medium. So when I put it in another setting, in this case a setting that belongs to another property, I don’t really think of it as a crossover. I just think “That’s Weblena, but farming.” Welp.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Nothing that’s ever been worth lingering on.

9. Do you write smut? Not yet! I’ll probably end up doing that but for now I’m focused on my current WIPs.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No. That’d be so weird.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not for a very long time. Back in my pre-AO3 days, yeah, but it was a draining experience. In my head I’m like “yeah, I’d love to cowrite” but then the reality comes up and then I realize I’ve committed myself to finishing a fic with another person and I feel the weight of expectations on me. Like I write because it’s something I can do that’s not beholden to anyone, you know?

@big-meows​ has given me concepts and great art and OCs with unique traits that I’d never think of and says like “yeah, you can play with ‘em, whatever” and I love that because I’m really not an idea guy much these days. So if someone thinks of something juicy and gives me permission to run with it... I think that’s the level of collaboration I’m comfortable with at the moment.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship? I guess it’s Weblena. It’s really just an ur-dynamic. Like... DT has been over for how long now and it’s still on my mind, lol. I don’t know. I’m sure something else will capture my mind eventually but... it hasn’t come along yet and I’ve looked.

Shout out to Barrisoka, though. Something that’s been there in the back of my head before I even conceptualized shipping. A lot of the same reasons as Weblena. Now that Disney is bringing Ahsoka back I’m fully expecting this ship to curdle and die before my eyes, at which point I’ll be like I do not see it.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Starcraft? It was really bad. I remember something that I wrote did get featured in a blog but let’s be real, the pickings were slim for a Starcraft fic blog in the early 00′s.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Dunno if I have favorites so I guess I’ll take the time to touch on some personal highlights.

I have a real fondness for The Haunter of the Cafeteria. I think it does a good job of capturing the energy of looking out over an empty parking lot past midnight, illuminated solely by yellow sodium streetlamps, which is a very specific energy I associate a lot with The Old Days.

Totality is Fleeting introduced me to my best friend and I feel like it captures a lot of my best Weblena energy. I still try to get that vibe going again but I feel like it was lightning in a bottle.

When the Moon Hits Your Eye That’s Me, Punching You in the Face is probably the best title I will ever think up.

There Will Be No Dancing is something that I really wish I had expanded on because I rather like it that ship but eh, things happen.

Orbits is fun and sad! Outer Wilds hit me in a very specific way that led me to write in a very specific way. It’s nice when something can catch your imagination like that and I think the end result was pretty okay.

My three current WIPs, if I pull them off the way I want to, I think will be pretty special. Big if tho.

[padawanlost]

Pt. 1: Do you remember the politics episode with Ahsoka, Padme, and Mina (and briefly Anakin)? When Ahsoka asks Anakin about the politics of the Clone Wars, he replies by telling her that the Separatists find the Republic corrupt, so they left, but they’re wrong, so it’s up to the Jedi and the clones to bring them back. (I can’t fit my whole ask in here so I’ll put another if that’s ok)

Idk if this is an OOC moment or not, because on one hand I feel Anakin would have problems with the Republic because of how it lets things like slavery in the outer rim thrive. That’s why in the picnic scene in AOTC he talks about how the system isn’t working, progress isn’t being made, etc. On the other hand, maybe he’s just blinded by people like Padme and Chancellor Palpatine being in the Senate and not paying attention to the intricacies of the political situation because he hates politics? 

I think Anakin’s behavior on that particular situation is a mix of TCW trying to turn Anakin into an inept comic relief and Anakin’s own complex views on politics and loyalty.

Anakin *KNOWS* the Republic is not perfect.

I should have done it before now. Wasn’t that my other childhood dream? Become a Jedi and free the slaves. Instead I became a Jedi and let myself forget. Let them convince me that it’s not our job to remake the Republic. The Jedi were keepers of the peace, not legal enforcers. That was the Senate’s job. How many times had he been told that? He’d lost count. But the Senate was falling down on the job, wasn’t it? What was the use of having anti-slavery laws if the barves who broke them never paid for their crimes? It was enough to shake his hard-won and harder-kept faith. If scum like Watto and Jabba and the other Hutts kept on making their fat profits on the backs of living property—and if the Senate continued to turn a blind eye—how could anyone believe in the Republic? How could he? Padmé says she understands, but she hasn’t pushed for a Senate hearing. And Palpatine—he’s promised he’ll tackle the problem but nothing’s been done. It’s too political. Too corrupt. Too complicated. There are credits in slavery—and credits trump justice. Always have. Always will. And the Jedi? They didn’t want to get involved. Even Qui-Gon …[Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

But he’s also loyal, extremely loyal.

“For Anakin,” Obi-Wan said at length, “there is nothing more important than friendship. He is the most loyal man I have ever met—loyal beyond reason, in fact. Despite all I have tried to teach him about the sacrifices that are the heart of being a Jedi, he—he will never, I think, truly understand.” He looked over at Yoda. “Master Yoda, you and I have been close since I was a boy. An infant. Yet if ending this war one week sooner—one day sooner—were to require that I sacrifice your life, you know I would.” 

“As you should,” Yoda said. “As I would yours, young Obi-Wan. As any Jedi would any other, in the cause of peace.” 

“Any Jedi,” Obi-Wan said, “except Anakin.” 

Yoda and Mace exchanged glances, both thoughtfully grim. Obi-Wan guessed they were remembering the times Anakin had violated orders—the times he had put at risk entire operations, the lives of thousands, the control of whole planetary systems—to save a friend. More than once, in fact, to save Obi-Wan. 

“I think,” Obi-Wan said carefully, “that abstractions like peace don’t mean much to him. He’s loyal to people, not to principles. And he expects loyalty in return. He will stop at nothing to save me, for example, because he thinks I would do the same for him.” [Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith]

I guess we could say it’s cognitive dissonance. Anakin knows the Republic is broken but he’s also fighting a war to protect the people he so desperately wants to save. So he can’t allow himself to dwell to often on the political intricacies of the war.

Unlike most, I don’t see Anakin as this politically inept being without a single original thought. Anakin is brilliant, and he knows how the Republic is failing people (especially on the Outer Rim). But he also loves the people defending the Republic and knows that turning his back to it would mean turning his back on them, and that’s something Anakin is utterly incapable of doing.  Because of his trauma and his lackluster political education, Anakin can’t be rational about it. he doesn’t understand that he can recognize the Republic is deeply flawed at the same time he can fight to keep it alive.

To be fair, most people can’t grasp that politics is usually not an all or nothing game. That you can support someone at the same time you recognize they are not perfect, or you don’t even fully agree with them.

I think that scene is the result of people not fully understanding Anakin’s behavior during the picnic scene. I mean, it’s so easy to watch it from Padmé’s perspective and see nothing but a naive kid with authoritarian dreams. But once you put yourself in Anakin’s shoes it becomes easier to understand why a kid who grew up in slavery and poverty would want power to stripped from the elites in a desperate attempt to level the field and improve the lives of the disenfranchised.

I see TCW’s scene as a (dumbed down) attempt of turning Anakin’s complicated political views into an easier to understand, black and white comic relief moment.

[gffa]

SO WHAT THE HELL IS THE MORTIS ARC? After about the second time I watched this arc, my thoughts ran towards the idea this was Star Wars in a microcosm, the story of Anakin Skywalker’s fall in miniature form, as so many things in Star Wars basically come down to being about Anakin, whether literally about him or an echo and rhyme of the story that he is the very center of.  Which I think still has a good amount of merit to it, but in the rewatching of this arc yet again, there’s a bigger arc that jumped out at me so much more clearly, now that I’ve spent more time with the structure and lore of Star Wars. That this arc is entirely a metaphorical extension of Anakin’s internal struggle between the light and the dark. It’s a manifestation of the Chosen One struggling to choose between good and evil. Now, to be clear, the Father and the Son and the Daughter are all real beings that really existed, Dave Filoni has said that pretty clearly on podcast interviews, as well as said more than once that he and Christian Taylor specifically decided not to answer What The Fuck Was That!? about this arc, because they felt it would rob the viewers of speculation about it, as well as the questions that you’re meant to ask after watching it. There are so many, many moments in this arc that are call-backs to important moments in Anakin’s life, major events and choices he makes along his path in life, as well as commentary from the Father and the Son and the Daughter about who and what they are, what influences them. In “Overlords”, Obi-Wan and Anakin and Ahsoka find themselves stranded on a mysterious planet, immediately approached by the Daughter and asked if he is indeed the Chosen One.  All three of the Mortis lords are intensely interested in Anakin, each of them try to protect him, seduce him, or just try to understand if he really is the Chosen One. While he’s staying in the Father’s sanctuary, Anakin has a vision of his mother, which he’s deeply affected by, but realizes it’s not really her.  He storms out of the room and goes to confront the Father, thinking that these are Sith Lords.  But the Father says, no, we’re not Sith or Jedi, we’re bigger than that, like you are. His explanation is:  “We can take many forms.  The shapes we embody are merely a reflection of the life force around us.” In other words, they take the shape that Anakin’s presence imbues them with.  They’re real on their own, but their forms here are shaped by the Chosen One.

But the Chosen One is a myth, right?  Well, the Father would very much like to know.  So, the entire rest of the episode is about hurtling the characters--hurtling Anakin, as the Chosen One--towards a test. A test that isn’t just about “hey, are you the Chosen One or not?”, but almost every single time the Father says what he has to do--face your guilt and know the truth, you have to release the guilt and choose, only you can do this. It’s about trying to make Anakin look within himself, look at his guilt and fear and pain, and acknowledge them, face them, and choose whether he will embrace them or let go of them. Which is E X A C T L Y how the Force works, how the Jedi have always said the Force works.  It’s Luke having to face his fears in the cave on Dagobah, it’s the Jedi younglings having to face their fears on Ilum, it’s Ezra having to face his fears in the Lothal Jedi Temple, it’s Rey having to face her fears in the cave on Ahch-To.  [x][x] FACE YOUR FEARS, YOUR GUILT, YOUR ANGER.  FACE YOUR DARK SIDE.

The planet is the Force and that’s how the Force works. Anakin uses the Force to make the Daughter and Son let them go, but refuses to stay on Mortis (and, honestly, doesn’t really do any self-examination or releasing of his guilt, he hasn’t changed internally at all), so they try to leave, but they’re still trapped there. Which is where “Altar of Mortis” picks up.  Because Anakin is still giving shape to the manifestations of the Father, the Daughter, and the Son.

“You’ve chosen the dark side and allowed it to feed your anger and desire for power,” the Father says. “By bringing the Chosen One here, you’ve shown me my potential,” the Son answers. And then moments later, he kicks the Father down the stairs (because he’s HOLDING HIM BACK! by not dying fast enough) and screams:

Even aside from time not being linear in Star Wars, we’ll see later that this trilogy of episodes is very aware of Revenge of the Sith and other important moments in Anakin’s life.  This moment, screaming in rage, “I hate you!” cannot possibly not remind us of Anakin screaming the same thing at Obi-Wan in ROTS. Which is yet another moment that’s about Anakin, just as so many other moments are about him, cool little moments of echoes and rhymes, that Star Wars likes to make references and homages to itself, but there are enough of them done with such clear purpose here that I don’t think it’s just Rule of Cool, but instead an intentional narrative purpose behind them.

There are more, but those ones are the ones that really jumped out at me, important moments in Anakin’s story, ones that reflect his fall into the darkness.  The moment he caught the saber and attacked Dooku as a choice he couldn’t take back (and was itself an important moment because it was a mirror to Luke’s choice to not kill Vader in ROTJ, even after cutting off his arm in a rage, as Anakin did to Dooku as well) and the moment he very much intended to kill Obi-Wan on the Death Star, these are classic moments that evoke our knowledge of Anakin’s path. And what does all this do? It further feeds what’s going on with the Mortis lords.

Everything pretty much goes pear-shaped at this point, Ahsoka dies, the Son accidentally stabs the Daughter instead of the Father-- Which, in and of itself is an interesting parallel to Anakin, his sister the only one he professes to truly love, he’s the one that winds up killing her, despite his intentions, but then we see he also very much loves the Father, he doesn’t want him to die, he’s distraught when it happens, even though he was the one who engineered it, just like Anakin being the thing that really breaks Padme’s heart/causes her death even without his intentions to do so, just like Anakin in “There is Another” in From a Certain Point of View where his heart explodes with loneliness after Obi-Wan dies, so powerfully that Yoda feels it from literally all the way on the other side of the galaxy. --but Ahsoka is saved through Anakin being the one to channel the last of the Daughter’s energy into Ahsoka, while the Father guides him, the Son fucks off to who knows where, and “What the fuck do we do now?” knowing that the Son wants their ship to leave with. This is where “Ghosts of Mortis” starts up, and the announcement furthers our themes:

“A great weight has been placed on Anakin’s shoulders, for it is now that he must face who he really is.” Not just that he has a choice to make, about what to do about the Son or Mortis, but that this still has to be about discovering who he himself really is.  Because Anakin has never yet really looked inside himself or faced his guilt and pain. Which is when he runs into Qui-Gon’s ghost, as he’s trying to find the Son, and wham does it deliver on all of this:

Qui-Gon’s words aren’t just “bring balance to the Force”, but specifically this is indicated to be done through facing his demons will he save the universe. Anakin, sliding right by that point, asks if he should just kill the Son or just leave?  And Qui-Gon’s answer is that Anakin’s not looking at this in the right way, that there’s another way to deal with this and it’s exactly the one that the Jedi have been teaching for as long as we’ve known them, that the Force has constantly been throwing into the paths of the Jedi, because it’s so necessary to becoming a Jedi:  Face the dark parts of you and work past them. This is why Qui-Gon’s words are so important--it’s not just that this is an echo of Empire Strikes Back where Luke has to face the inner demon of the specter of Darth Vader (it wasn’t an external threat in that cave on Dagobah, that was all about “what you bring with you”, as Yoda says, that was all about Luke’s fears surrounding him), that it’s not just that Qui-Gon says Anakin has to go to a place strong in the dark side but he has to remember his training. Qui-Gon’s ghost visited Obi-Wan earlier, asking, “Have you trained the boy as I asked?”  And now he says, “Remember your training.” because this is what Jedi do, this is what they train themselves for, and why Qui-Gon says it to Anakin here.  This is what you’ve been taught to do--go to the dark place and face your demon.  That’s the Force, that’s how it works. And further to that, how the Force works, how Star Wars works, is that it’s about choice in those moments.  When you’re at the crossroads, it has to be your own choice.  You can ask others for advice and guidance, those things can be incredibly important, but at the end of the day, Star Wars is about “only Anakin can choose”.

So, Anakin does indeed go to face the Son in the place strong in the dark and the Son forces him to look within himself.  To know himself.

He sees his future self and actions, he’s so distraught by them, that instead of being able to face them and pass through those fears, he’s consumed by them, he agrees to help the Son, falling to the dark side--poison yellow eyes of the fully embraced dark side and all--to try to avoid what’s coming. The thing is, Anakin never really confronts his fears, demons, or guilt.  He’s consumed by them instead.  It happens because he’s trying to avoid it, but he still falls to the dark side all the same, because he listens to the Son dripping poison in his ear, because he sees an easier way out than the hard work of disciplining himself against the dark side (which George Lucas says is how you resist it, the only way to resist it), because the other way seems too impossible and too scary. Anakin’s story has always been about how he can’t bear to look at himself and his choices and then make the choice--and stick to that choice--to do and be better.  His story has always been about his fears ran rampant inside him because he didn’t want to let go of the feelings that made him “special”, he didn’t want to listen to the Jedi when they told him to get a grip, he wanted to listen to Palpatine who told him his feelings should be held onto instead of let go, that they made him special, made him better than those other Jedi, that his hate and rage and fear were justified in being held onto. And that’s exactly what the Mortis arc is--a reflection and shape of Anakin’s story, that each of them were about the internal struggle he faced. That Anakin didn’t make these choices in one bad day. He made this choice over and over again. When he chose to dig his fingers into his feelings and hold onto them, listening to Palpatine’s poisonous words. When he chose to do a monstrous thing on Tatooine to the Tuskens and their children, but ignored what that said about him. When he killed Dooku, unarmed and for the sake of revenge and his rage. When he chose to maim Mace Windu and lead to his death, choosing Palpatine and the Empire instead of the Jedi and the Republic. When he chose to attack the Jedi Temple and kill the younglings, leading him to feel unable to ever go back, that his actions had to be justified or else he murdered innocents for nothing. When he chose to Force choke Padme, which lead to broken heart and her inability to live, after the terrible things he’d done. When he chose to attack Obi-Wan again and again, despite being warned, leading him to the Darth Vader suit. When he chose to refuse to accept the vision the Force put in his head in Dark Lord of the Sith, that Obi-Wan still would have forgiven him and helped him, when he rejected that and said, “No.  [The dark side] is all there is.” When he, again and again, chose to reject acknowledging that all these Jedi took different paths that he himself could have done (Jocasta Nu, Ferren Barr, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Eeth Koth, they were all paths he could have walked instead, even then). When he chose to kill Obi-Wan, despite that Obi-Wan had stepped back and refused to fight anymore. Anakin Skywalker desperately wanted to be good, there wouldn’t be a struggle or a story there worth telling if he weren’t.  The ending of Return of the Jedi wouldn’t have the power and impact it did, if Anakin hadn’t had embers of goodness in him that couldn’t be snuffed out, no matter how hard he tried. But I think Mortis is an arc that’s about manifesting the internal struggle, that these Force Lords took the shapes they did because they were feeding off him, as the Chosen One, the center of this massive web of destiny.  And that’s why Anakin’s choices on Mortis, his struggles and the warnings he receives, are the same ones that are part of the bigger themes of Star Wars’ Skywalker Saga, and just what the hell was going on. It was Anakin Skywalker’s struggle with the dark and the light--including that the dark won, with small pinpricks of hope and light left alive--literally made manifest and acted out with these players.

[cocastyle]

Fighting For You

Pairing - Ben Solo x reader (post ROS)

Word Count - 5,180

Warning - none :))

A/N - so this is an idea I actually got after watching a tik tok lol. it’s not entirely the same, but the whole concept of bringing Ben back after Rise of Skywalker through him having to make a choice is. I added Ahsoka for myself and the setting so that was my idea and this was just so much fun to write! I love Star Wars so much and I know I haven’t written much but I hope to soon! I hope you all like this and that this gives you the closure you may have needed after Rise of Skywalker’s ending. let me know what you think and if you have any Star Wars requests, please let me know! :))

She had felt what was happening before it did. She had felt the life force leaving him as her own began to consume her body with a blistering pain that nothing and no one could soothe. Only he could, but he was gone.

Ben Solo was gone.

The days after the death of Ben Solo had gone by faster than she expected, but Y/N L/N could still feel his death like it had happened only moments before. She was numb to the outside world, her own pain being the only thing reminding her that she was human. She was a shell of the person she used to be, succumbing to the sadness and hurt that swirled within her no matter how hard she tried not to.

Everyone was worried, Y/N knew that. But how was she supposed to explain to them how she felt? How could she explain that she was spiraling down further and further into her own darkness where only pain and sadness awaited her? How could she explain how every second she was without Ben felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest?

The answer to all of that was that she couldn’t. They would never understand. No one would. The only one who would’ve was dead.

Poe would tell her jokes constantly, always making a point to sit next to her with BB-8 during meals and talk her ear off hoping that maybe this would be the time she smiled. And Finn would be right there with him, playfully rolling his eyes at the man and giving Y/N a look as if to say ‘can you believe him?’ but all she could do was stare at them blankly.

Rey tried to get her to smile as she trained her in the ways of the Jedi, but not even the dazzling sight of sparks flying off their lightsabers as they fought could crack the wall Y/N had put up.

After all, Y/N felt like there was no reason to smile. No reason the live in fact. Ben had been her everything. They had been best friends since a young age and even after he was consumed by the dark side, Y/N never lost hope. She knew one day he would return to her and then he did, but she had only felt it. Y/N hadn’t even been there to see it for herself.

Only Rey had gotten to see the man Ben Solo had become. Only Rey had gotten to be there for his last breath. Rey was the one Ben had saved and Rey was the one who held him in her arms as he died.

It angered Y/N that she hadn’t been there. For if she had been there, she was sure she would’ve stopped his death. But she knew why Ben had done what he did. She knew that he had done it for her, knowing that Rey was like a sister to her and that she would know this was his last gift to her.

Y/N was beyond thankful for what he had done, but she would never be the same because Ben had died believing she didn’t need him. He had thought she needed Rey more. He had died thinking she didn’t love him. And that, that, was what ate away at the girl every day.

But then Y/N had found a way. Months spent diving deep into the countless books she managed to get ahold of and talking to numerous people had lead her to finding the one thing that could get her what she wanted. The one thing that could possibly bring him back. And if there was even the slightest chance to get Ben back, Y/N would take it without a beat of hesitation.

Rey had been the most understanding as to why Y/N needed to leave, even packing her bags and teaching her a few more tricks with the Force in case the need came up. Finn was apprehensive, not entirely liking the idea but knowing that if it were going to make the girl happy then he couldn’t stop her.

But Poe was an entirely different story. Having trained together since they first joined the Rebellion, the two had developed a pretty unique friendship that made it hard for things like goodbyes. Poe had been angry at first, not believing Y/N would ‘be so reckless’ as he had put it, to throw her life away for someone who was dead. That argument hadn’t ended well and the two didn’t talk to each other for a week before Poe apologized and explained that she was his best friend and that he was just worried about her. The two made up after that and Poe had hugged her the longest before helping the girl into her X-wing after she had hugged Rey, Finn, BB-8, and Chewie goodbye.

Just when Y/N was about to close the hatch, she had locked eyes with Chewie. Chewie may have been mad at Kylo Ren for the things he did, but Ben Solo would always be the little boy who used to climb on his arms and try to speak Wookie. He knew Ben Solo in a way that only Y/N could say she knew him as well and that connection was something the two cherished more than anything on the nights where they mourned their loved ones the most.

She had given the Wookie a small nod as she said with tear filled eyes, “I’m going to bring him home, Chewie. We’ll have our Ben Solo back before you know it.” Chewie had roared at that and that was the last time Y/N saw her friends.

It had been three months since she left her family behind, eight months since Ben Solo’s death. Y/N hadn’t wanted it to take her so long to save him, but this was the timeframe she was given and she knew it would all be worth it in the end.

Standing before the ruins in front of her, Y/N knew she should’ve felt scared, but all she felt was a buzzing confidence. The building, or what used to be a building, looked like a burnt-out husk of the pictures and drawings from books. Over the years the building had crumbled more than it had after the Empire’s raid, but the fact that it was still there was what gave Y/N hope.

“The Jedi Temple,” Y/N whispered in slight disbelief, having never thought she would see the building with her own eyes. It was a legend by now, but here it stood before her. Even in ruins, it was still magnificent.

Y/N was cautious as she crept inside, avoiding the fallen pillars until she had entered the building. The interior was pock marked and burned with blasterfire. The ceiling had collapsed in many areas and the marble floors were cracked. Floors were caved in and in what used to be the Jedi Archives were burnt or torn books. Some of the entrances were blocked off with old blastdoors that were rusty and beginning to fall off, but other than that, the place was still intact.

Y/N couldn’t help but keep her hand atop the lightsaber hanging at her waist. She had an odd feeling that someone was watching her, but every time she looked there was no one there. The only two things keeping her calm were the fact that Ben could soon be there with her and the presence of past Jedi’s watching over her.

It took time but she eventually found what used to be the hidden room of the temple, a room most Jedi’s didn’t know about. Inside was a simple painting, a mural to the past of the Force. There was supposed to be a portrait of three beings—the Father, the Son, and the Daughter. The Daughter had been a paradigm of the light side and the Son the paradigm of the dark while the Father had kept the balance.

All three had died a long time ago, but Y/N had read about their connections to the Force especially that of the Daughter. She knew of what the Daughter did for Anakin Skywalker’s padawan and, knowing that no one truly left the Force once they were gone, had come in hopes of reaching the Daughter and gaining her trust in order to help bring back Ben Solo.

Y/N knew it was a long shot, but it was all she had. She couldn’t give up on Ben. She needed him.

Making her way across the room was the lightest Y/N had felt in the past eight months. This was it. She was going to connect with the Daughter and get Ben back.

The painting was destroyed by now, but that did not bother Y/N. She searched until she found the crumbled pieces of the Daughter’s portrait and used the Force in order to lift the heavier rocks over until she had reassembled the portrait the best she could. Falling down to her knees in front of the portrait, Y/N closed her eyes and let herself go, fully giving into the Force and clearing her mind.

It was only one she was the most calm she had ever been in her life that Y/N whispered out, “Please be with me. Hear my voice and show yourself to me.”

She knew she was speaking into the Force by the feeling that washed over her, but the response she had hoped for didn’t come. After a moment of nothing but silence, Y/N felt her mind waver a bit as she took in a shaky breath.

“Daughter of Mortis, please hear my call,” Y/N whispered, her voice a little shaky as she was met with yet another haunting silence. The silence dragged on and Y/N was beginning to lose her composure as she continued to call out to the one person she thought could help her.

Her thoughts flickered over to Ben as they usual did and a small sob escaped her lips as she lowered her head and slammed her hands against the ground in anger. Tears were rolling down her face by now and Y/N’s whole body shook as she clenched her hands into fists before she whispered out in a heartbroken voice.

“Please.”

Once again there was no response and the presence of the Jedi had gone totally silent. Y/N’s face fell into her hands and she began to cry, utter sadness washing over her body as she realized she had done all of this for nothing. Ben was gone. Ben Solo was dead.

She didn’t know why, but a memory suddenly popped into her head and Y/N got lost in thought as she remembered a conversation she had with Ben when he was still Kylo Ren.

“You don’t have to do this. I feel the conflict in you,” Y/N said, her voice as steady as it could be despite Kylo’s presence behind her. She could feel his eyes flickering over to look at her, his stare making her skin burn and her heart flutter.

How he still managed to make her feel like this despite the fact that he had her handcuffed and had forced her on an elevator that was leading straight up to Snoke himself was beyond Y/N, but he had always had this effect on her and she knew he always would.

“Ben,” Y/N whispered, her voice making the man still but her suddenly turning around to look at him making his gaze instantly fall upon her.

“I’m not Ben. Not anymore,” Kylo insisted, a frown appearing on his face despite the fact that his eyes were giving him away. He had softened, let his guard down just enough to give Y/N enough hope to continue.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Y/N told him. “I know you. I don’t know how your connection to Rey in the Force came to be, but she will never know the person you used to be. They don’t know how you used to sneak out in the middle of the night with me just so we could look at the stars.”

“Stop,” Kylo said, his fist clenching tighter as he glared at the girl, but Y/N didn’t let up and instead took a bold step towards the boy.

“They don’t know how you used to hold my hand when you were nervous or how you used to help everyone in need even if it was as simple as helping them carry a few things or holding the door open for them,” Y/N continued, ignoring the anger that was growing in Kylo’s eyes.

“Y/N,” he warned, but she only took another step towards him.

“They don’t know the type of person you are deep down even if you try desperately to hide it,” she said, continuing to walk towards him until they were so close their toes were touching. “They don’t know who Ben Solo is and you can try and hide your past as much as you want, but that will never change the fact that you will always be that little boy who patched up my knee when I scraped it running.”

Kylo was quick to grab her arms and spin her so that she was pinned against the wall. His eyes were blazing with a fury Y/N had never seen before, but not once did he hold her too tight or harm her in any way. “I told you to stop,” Kylo practically growled, his frustration clear but that was enough to make the girl keep going.

Y/N’s voice was clear and steady as she spoke, her eyes focusing on nothing other than the boy’s as she said, “You will not bow before Snoke. You’ll turn and I’ll help you. I’ll always help you.”

Kylo hesitated at that, his already gentle grip on her loosening even more until Y/N was able to drop her hands back down to her side. Kylo looked at the ground, obviously lost in his thoughts and Y/N took that moment to reach out and gently cup the boy’s face in her hands. To her surprise, he leaned into her touch and let out a shaky breath as he closed his eyes.

“Ben, I’m here and I always will be,” Y/N whispered.

“Why?” Kylo whispered, not daring to open his eyes. He voice was soft and almost scared. Y/N knew she was talking to Ben now, not Kylo, and the fact made her heart skip a beat.

“Why what?” Y/N questioned, her eyes flickering over the boy’s face as she kept her voice as gentle and soft as his own.

“Why do you still believe in me? Why do you continue to fight for me?” Kylo asked, genuinely confused but still refusing to open his eyes.

Y/N was silent for a moment and Kylo began to pull away, but Y/N had leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. She pulled away almost as quick as she had kissed him, but even that fraction of a second was enough to make Kylo still, his breath catching in his throat.

Y/N pulled away, but kept her hands on his face as Kylo dared to open his eyes. She had never seen him look so broken in her life and she once again saw it—the fight between the light and dark within his eyes.

“I have hope,” Y/N whispered, her eyes flickering over his face in a gentle way as she smiled almost sadly. “I will always have hope because one day, I will have you back. I believe in you more than I have believed in any one else and I will fight for you for as long as I live.”

“I will never stop fighting for you, Ben Solo.”

Kylo shook under her touch and for a moment Y/N swore he might kiss her again, but just when he had started to lean in, the two both heard the elevator come to a stop and Kylo had pulled away from her faster than she had ever seen him move. His back was turned to her and Y/N opened her mouth to speak, but Kylo shook his head.

“No more talking,” he muttered and the moment he turned around, his wall was back up. Ben was gone and Kylo had returned. “He is waiting.”

Another sob left Y/N’s mouth as she thought back to that moment, how vulnerable Ben had been under her touch and the feeling of his lips against hers. That was the one and only time they had ever kissed, but Y/N knew that memory had only resurfaced in her head because of what she had told him.

I will never stop fighting for you, Ben Solo.

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, her head throbbing due from all of the crying as she realized she had failed him. She had failed Ben. She didn’t even know what she was supposed to do now. How could she return to her friends? How could she return to a life that was anything but normal? How could she live a life without Ben?

Suddenly Y/N was on her feet, her lightsaber in hand as she spun around and pointed her weapon at the neck of who stood behind her—a female with blue eyes, dark orange skin, brownish-lips, white facial markings, a white leaky and montrals with blue stripes.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Y/N hissed, her eyes practically burning with a fire while she ignored the tears rolling down her face. The woman looked at her in slight amusement before glancing behind her at the portrait of the Daughter on the floor.

“I,” the woman began as she stood back up and looked to Y/N with a small smile, “am Ahsoka Tano. I have come because I heard your call.”

“Ahsoka—“ Y/N trailed off, wondering why the name sounded so familiar to her. Her eyes widened in realization and she hesitantly lowered the lightsaber as she said, “You’re the Ahsoka Tano who trained under Anakin Skywalker?”

A flicker of pain flashed through Ahsoka’s eyes, but she nodded. Y/N’s eyes widened more in disbelief, but then she seemed to register what Ahsoka had told her and her lightsaber was instantly returned to her side as she asked, “You heard my call?”

Ahsoka nodded and walked past Y/N and over to the portrait of the Daughter still lying on the floor. “She won’t appear to you if that’s what you were hoping for. The Force works in mysterious ways, but not even the Daughter would be able to help you bring someone back,” she said.

“How did you-?” Y/N began, but Ahsoka looked back to her with an amused smile that instantly cut her off.

“Know what you were looking for?” Ahsoka finished. “Not many people come around here anymore and only a few know about this room in particular. The Daughter was known for being connected to the light side and was one of the only ones able to bring someone back. I assumed that’s why you have come, but I am sorry to say she can not help you.”

“She brought you back. Why would she not be able to bring Ben back?” Y/N asked a bit defensively, her eyes narrowing at the woman in front of her. “He may have done some bad things in his life, but he died a hero. He deserves to live after the sacrifice he made. I will do anything to bring Ben Solo back and I will never stop fighting for him until I can.”

Ahsoka was silent for a moment as she peered at the young girl before finally saying, “Are you done?” Y/N face reddened in embarrassment, but her expression didn’t waver. “I merely said that the Daughter couldn’t help you. I never said that I couldn’t.”

Y/N relaxed at that, confusion washing over her face as she looked at Ahsoka. “You? But what could you-?” Y/N trailed off before looking at Ahsoka with wide eyes. “You have part of the connection with the Force that the Daughter used to, don’t you? Is it because she gave her life to save you?”

“I can reach him,” Ahsoka told her, ignoring the girl’s questions. “But it will ultimately be his choice. Ben Solo must chose once more which side of the Force he will turn to, but this time he must face the choice alone.”

Y/N was silent at that before setting her jaw and looking up at Ahsoka. “Do as you must, but please bring him back,” was all she said.

“Are you sure? I cannot do anything more but give him the choice. Unless he chooses the light, he will be lost in his own darkness until the end of time,” Ahsoka warned.

“I believe in him,” Y/N insisted, her voice never wavering. “Ben will make the right choice.”

Ahsoka smiled ever so slightly before nodding her head. “Then I will help you,” she announced and before Y/N could ask her how she would do that, Ahsoka raised her hands and the last thing Y/N saw was a blinding light before everything went black.

- - -

When Y/N opened her eyes, she found herself standing in the same spot she had been moments before only this time what stood before her was what looked to be a giant portal. Instead of the decaying room that surrounded her, a red-tinted world of lava and rocks stood in its place. Although she could only watch from afar as two people came into focus.

A small gasp escaped her lips as she realized one of the people was Snoke, a clone of Palpatine’s that had tricked Ben into leaning towards the Dark Side. However, the urge to cry came from seeing Ben Solo standing before him in the same black gear he had died in.

Y/N reached a hand out, ready to jump into the portal and grab ahold of Ben for herself, but a hand on her shoulder instantly stopped her. “You cannot intervene. This is his choice,” Ahsoka’s voice whispered from behind her, but Y/N couldn’t look back at her. She was too focused on Ben who was on the other side of the portal. Ben who she hadn’t seen in eight months. It was Ben. Her Ben. And she was so close to getting him back.

Y/N let her hand fall limply to her side, knowing that no matter what she did, she wouldn’t be able to help Ben. He had to do this himself and Y/N had complete faith in him.

“I can restore you to your former glory!” Snoke exclaimed as the portal came close enough to the two for them to finally hear what they were saying. “I can give you back your army, your power!”

Y/N’s eyes flickered to Ben’s face, freezing slightly at the sight of pure pain on his face as if he was fighting with himself. “Everything that girl took from you will be yours once again and you will not fall!” Snoke exclaimed, his words making Ben grimace once again as she looked up at his former master and his outstretched hand.

“Well? What will it be, boy?” Snoke asked, his eyes narrowing at Ben who stood there with a pained and confused look on his face. Y/N saw his hand twitch and when he slowly began to lift his hand, she felt her heart drop.

“No!” Y/N cried out, her voice cracking as she fell down to her knees in despair. “Come on, Ben! I believe in you!” A heartbroken sob escaped her mouth and tears began to roll down her face, but she hesitated as she watched Ben suddenly still.

He lifted his head and looked around wide eyed as if he had heard her and for a moment, Y/N wondered if he actually could. “Ben,” Y/N whispered, her voice so soft but the look of Ben’s face telling her that there was a good chance he had heard her. “Come home to me. Please, come home.”

Ben stared at his hand before looking back up at Snoke. His face hardened almost instantly and he clenched his hand into a fist before turning and running in the other direction. Y/N blinked in surprise, her eyes widening as the portal view shifted until all Y/N could see was Ben running straight towards the portal.

“Ben Solo has made his choice,” Ahsoka announced, but Y/N could hardly hear her. She was in disbelief and she barely managed to scramble on to her own feet as she watched Ben suddenly stop in front of the portal. As if he was suddenly seeing it for the first time and was unsure of what was happening.

But then his eyes had locked on Y/N and it was then that she realized he could see her like she could see him. “Y/N?” Ben whispered and before she could say anything in response, Ben had burst through the portal and straight into Y/N.

His arms wrapped around her almost instantly, the force of his body hitting hers making the two stumble back until they both fell down to the ground on their knees. Y/N was unable to move, her eyes wide as she shakily put her hands on Ben’s chest in order to push him away.

Ben pulled away enough for the two to look at each other and Y/N continued to stare at him in disbelief as she shakily brought her hands up to cup his face. “Ben?” she whispered. “Is it really you?”

“It’s me. I’m here,” Ben assured her, happy tears beginning to fall down his face as he held her waist tight. “I don’t exactly know how I’m here, but I assure you that I am.”

Y/N let out a breathy laugh at that, but she couldn’t help but break down almost instantly. She fell into Ben’s embrace, the boy holding onto her tightly while she cried in his arms. “You were gone,” Y/N sobbed as her hands balled into fists around Ben’s shirts. “You left to a place I could not follow and. . .and—“

“It’s okay,” Ben whispered, pressing a small kiss to the top of her head while she breathed in his scent in between sobs. “I’m here now, okay? And I don’t plan on leaving you anytime soon.”

Y/N pulled away at that and she let her eyes flicker over Ben’s face, for the man in front of her was not the man she had seen last. He was not Kylo Ren anymore. This was Ben Solo. This was her Ben and never had Y/N been more excited to see him.

Before Ben could process what was happening, Y/N had leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. Ben let out a small gasp of surprise, but his eyes fluttered closed almost instantly and he put a hand to the back of her head before pulling her closer, instantly deepening the kiss.

They had kissed for only a moment before Ben smiled into the kiss, his smile being so contagious that the smile that hadn’t donned Y/N’s face in so long finally broke free. Ben was the first one to pull away and he kept his face a mere inch or two away from her own as he smiled and brushed some hair behind her ear.

“I love you,” he whispered, the words making Y/N’s heart soar and her smile grow as she finally felt happy for the first time in months.

“I love you too,” Y/N whispered back, still staring at Ben with wide eyes full of disbelief. After all, it was hard to believe that he was finally here with her after eight months.

The sound of the portal closing caused the two to glance back right as the portal closed for good. Ben furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at Y/N, his arms still wrapped around her waist as she asked, “How did you bring me back?”

Y/N let out a small gasp as she suddenly remembered Ahsoka and she began to turn around. “Ahsoka, thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” Y/N paused once she turned around to find that Ahsoka was no where to be seen. A look of pure confusion washed over her face and she whispered out, “What—“

“Who are you looking for?” Ben questioned and Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as she looked around the empty room once more. To her surprise, the portrait of the Daughter had disappeared as well and that was enough to make Y/N frown. “Y/N?” Ben called out and the girl was instantly snapped out of it as she looked back at the boy that was still kneeling on the ground with her.

He tilted his head slightly as he watched her, his eyes sparkling with not only the light that now filled his body but pure adoration. Y/N had never felt happier than in that moment as she stared at the boy that had captured her heart all of those years again.

Happy tears began to fill her eyes once again and she gently shook her head as she smiled. “It. . .it doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “What matters is that you’re here now. You made the right choice, Ben. You chose the light.”

“I felt you,” Ben whispered. “I felt you calling for me, asking for me to come home. I had never wanted anything more in my life. Your belief in me was what kept me going. Turning away felt like I was coming home to you. I just didn’t realize how true that was.”

Y/N was smiling so big that her cheeks hurt and she leaned forward to kiss the boy once more before pulling away and hugging him, digging her head into the crook of his neck while he wrapped his arms tighter around her body and did the same to her.

“I will never stop fighting for you, Ben Solo,” Y/N whispered, her words making the boy grip onto her tighter.

“And I will never stop fighting for you, Y/N L/N.”

They never would stop fighting for each other, that much would be proven in the days to come. But for now they just enjoyed the feeling of being in each other’s arms once again while Ahsoka Tano walked down the front steps of the old Jedi Temple and off towards her next adventure with a small smile on her face.

* * *

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