#I don’t write stuff like this very often so I hope I did a decent enough job

[angel-girldick]

Thinking about a Changeling that gets cursed so that every few days she transforms into the sexual desires of a random creature nearby. In her naturally chosen form she just looks like a pale Human, all shy and pure, built like a wood plank. Then suddenly and without warning, she turns into a busty blonde Elf with tits that tear right out of her leather armor. The next week, she becomes a muscular Tiefling with a massive cock that she couldn’t hope to hide in her tight riding pants. Later on it’s a Goblin, then a Satyr, then even a Mind Flayer.

She tries to shapeshift right back before anybody notices. But it always seems to happen in crowded places, so she always gets at least a few weird stares. She can‘t even tell whose fantasy she becomes most of the time. At first, she tries to convince herself that she hates it. But she can’t deny how hot it is.

She starts morphing her tits and hips and ass bigger in her natural form, hoping her party won’t notice if she does it slowly enough. If her tight, flat armor is going to get destroyed anyway, she might as well opt to wear a busier, curvier design, right? Then she starts adding the features people seem to like the most— sensitive Elf ears, handlebar Tiefling horns, a dexterous Dragonborn tail that draws attention to a bouncy Water Genasi ass. She tells her party she’s just experimenting and trying new things. They aren’t convinced.

It’s not too long until one of her party members catches her in a clearing near camp. She’s got a Lamia tongue wrapped around a giant Centaur cock, one clawed hand fondling her massive tits and the other furiously rubbing away at a fat swollen pussy. She becomes the party’s stress relief toy after that. The curse wears off after a while, but she never tells her friends— it’s just too tempting to suddenly and “accidentally” turn into their exact type in the hopes that they’ll pin her down and fuck her right then and there.

[running-with-kn1ves]

OMG CONGRATULATIONSSS🥳 i swear i visit your writings a lot that whenever you update—the app already refers to you as my tumblr crush ksksjskjs n e ways since you mentioned it a while ago how about some good'ol chubby/fat reader who visits this one restaurant a lot that they've become aqquainted with the owner, consequently enough the owner is a yandere who had falled for them because of how they admired the genuine way in which the reader enjoyed the food they served. But suddenly the visits become less and less and when the reader admits that its because others have seem to make their weight a big topic the owner is so dramatically appalled that their like: wHAt!? How dare those fools say that! *while furiously grabbing and shaking the reader's shoulders*

Aaaaa thank you so much!!! Honestly I didn't think anyone would read my stuff that much😭 thank you >:))<33!! i hope I did decent on this one, I want to write more chubby readers in the future.

--------

"Oh! Why, you’re finally back!”

You fidgeted in your seat as you chuckled nervously at the man standing in front of you. He held a notepad, dressed in a waist apron and black shirt, an outfit you always met him in. You hadn’t expected him to notice your absence. 

“Yes, I am.”

“Well, where were you this entire time? We were a little worried, you know. When a regular stops showing up, that's never a good sign for business!” He commented enthusiastically, despite already knowing your previous whereabouts.

A good chef has to keep check on his customers, right?

He usually had a smile plastered on his face for customers, but this time with you, it was genuine. The man invited himself to sit down on the opposite side of your booth seat, a move you didn’t really question. He always seemed to make himself comfortable when you came to eat here. 

In fact, everytime you were here, the restaurant was always “understaffed,” leaving him, one of the top chefs and co-owners, to serve you. You felt bad that the restaurant was doing so poorly that they had to have chefs waiting tables. But the truth that he wasn’t telling you, was business was booming. 

“Well, I decided to stop eating out for a bit, making meals at home and such.” You avoided his gaze, hoping he wouldn’t pry any further. It was no fun to divulge personal insecurities to aquaintences. But of course, he did. 

“Why’s that? Is money tight? Because you know, I can always offer a discount. You're such a loyal customer, I’d really even give you meals for free if necessary.” He laughed, keeping his eyes sincere only to hope you’d take up the offer. If it meant you’d start coming in more often, he'd even spoon feed you himself. Not like that'd be much of a butden for him, though. In fact, it was hard to keep himself contained as he daydreamed about the thought.

“It’s not that…” You hesitated, trying to find a way to explain yourself without making things awkward. “I just had some… personal issues to deal with. A few friends said some negative things and I wasn’t feeling very well.” 

As if you hadn’t piqued the chef’s interest before, you now had his full attention. Negative things? What things? Despite his meticulous stalking, he doesn’t remember such an instance that would certainly cause more than a small reaction from him.

Trying to keep himself coy, the chef cleared his throat. 

“What kind of things, if you don’t mind me asking?”

You scrunched your nose, sincerely wishing he didn’t ask. Nothing was worse than making things uncomfortable in a place you regularly attend.

“Oh you know, just some stuff about my weight.” You brushed it off like it was no big deal, hoping the man would leave it at that. 

But of course, he didn’t.

“Oh.” He commented. Oh. His surprise morphed into a different emotion, something you couldn’t quite read. 

The chef was silent for a moment, deep in thought with his hands tightly pressed together. Too tightly for someone who didn’t know you, in your opinion. 

“These friends of yours, they really said those things to you?” 

Surprisingly he didn’t give you a look of pity, but one of hollowness. 

You nodded your head, put off by how your situation seemed to impact his mood so deeply. 

The chef moved from the opposite side of the seat to shuffle in next to you, making himself comfortable in your personal space as he placed his hands over yours on the table. 

“Why would you let such vermin near you?” His eyes scrutinized you, genuinely wondering how such lowly beings could even be given the ability to make an impact on you. “Such scum, I can’t believe they were even allowed to be in your presence.” 

You laughed, partly taken aback by how extreme he sounded. You brushed it off as him trying to make you feel better. But it was in part selfishly said by the chef out of his frustration. 

“Those idiots-! They-- they don’t know what thetheyre talking about, alright? They don’t even deserve to witness your body, to see your beauty or look at how.. Unbelievable, you are.“

He turned his attention back to you, realizing he should put a hold to his future plans on what to do with them to first comfort you. 

You sat silently, feeling both awkward and grateful for his affectionate words.

“Don’t let those fools trick you; they don’t even deserve to look at you. They’re nothing compared to you, your body. Your body is….” The chef had to look away, covering part of his face as ideas and dirty thoughts crept in his mind. You witnessed the blush he tried to hide, eyes widening as you realized what he meant. He cleared his throat, trying to change the subject before he did something regrettable. “You’re….heavenly. An angel on earth, who shouldn’t even be in my presence let alone theirs.” 

He moved his hands from yours to cup your face, the other moving gently to your thigh. You felt him squeeze it, massaging the flesh as his face turned a flustered shade of red. 

“If I could show you all the ways your body affects me, lord...” He mumbles barely loud enough for you to hear, trying to hide his fidgeting at the thought.

Looking back at you, he licks his lips, trying to avoid staring at yours. 

“But I digress; do you understand me?” He seemed out of breath all of a sudden, knees touching yours as he scooted closer. 

You nodded your head a little, put off by this out of place speech of his which had an odd, almost lovestruck tone. 

“Good.” He huffed, barely restraining himself from looking at how tightly your clothes hugged you, trying to keep his hands still on your warm skin. 

“So, mind telling me what part of town these ‘friends live in?” 

[midknightwritings]

"I Like You, I Love You !!"

Synopsis : Confessing your love for a certain orange-haired knight was a struggle in itself as you constantly backed out at the last second in nervousness. Noticing your struggles, your friends recommended that you should confess with a song instead !! With their support, what could go wrong ??

Era : Basic !

Warning/s : Swearing, mentions of feeling anxious / slightly panicked

Mentioned Character/s : G/N!Reader [ Main POV ] / Leo Izumi / Arashi / Ritsu / Tsukasa / Anzu [ Supporting characters ]

A/N : "I like you, I love you" IS SUCH A CUTE SONG I COULDN’T RESIST !! So... *offers you a oneshot* The inspiration was too strong for this one wahaha~☆ I tend to struggle a bit when it comes to dialogue so I hope I was able to portray them decently orz

I mainly used the english lyrics from the wiki !! :)

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

“Hey Leo! Sorry for disturbing you but do you have a moment?” you smiled at the orange-haired knight, who was currently shoving his music sheets haphazardly into his bag in order to get ready for practice, causing the papers to crumple due to the force. “Ah~ [ Y/N ]! Why are you here so early~?” he asked, but when you opened your mouth to reply he immediately cuts you off, “Wait!! Don’t say anything otherwise our ever expanding fantasy will crumble before the cosmos~” With a hand on his head and a pondering expression, your heart couldn’t help but skip a beat at how adorable he currently looks.

Internally psyching yourself up, you took a deep breath in to calm your nerves before you finally answered. “I finished the paperworks early and was wondering if... If... You wanted to play a game while waiting for the others! Yeah...” you shyly explained, a light blush dusting your cheeks as Leo looked at you with a curious gaze. He immediately smiled and nodded in agreement, “Very well! This king shall dedicate his time to you until his fellow knights return~♪ So what game do you want to play~?”

“Wha-what about ‘Shiritori’?” you answered instantly without thinking, earning a curious, and slightly confused, expression from the said king. ‘Seriously [ Y/N ]?! Out of all the games out there, why did you pick the one that focuses on word play?!’ you internally scolded yourself; “I... I just thought that maybe it could help with writing lyrics since you know… S-Synonyms and stuff…?” you stuttered in an iffy tone. That seemed to convince Leo enough though and with a big smile he agreed.

“Uuu… [ Y/N ], you're sneaky! Giving yourself an advantage since you know my weakness? Well, you’re mistaken because as king I will rise victorious in this battle! Wahaha~☆” “Oh, my dear king~ It is I who will stand victorious on this battlefield today! Ready~? Shirito"ri"…”

“RITSU !!” you both exclaimed at the same time, earning a confused “Huh~?” from the studio door. As Leo looked past your shoulders, you spun around to be greeted with the sight of Ritsu, Arashi, Tsukasa, Izumi and even Anzu carrying towels and water bottles.

“Jeez, while we were out here busting our asses off to prepare for practice, you two lovebirds are playing a game? That’s so~annoying.” Izumi rolled his eyes as he placed the towels on top of an empty table.

“L…Lovebirds?!” you exclaimed in embarrassment but Leo just laughed cheekily at Izumi’s comment, seemingly unbothered by the nickname. “Sena~ If you keep your face scrunched up like that you’ll get a ton of wrinkles way~y before becoming an old man!”

Ever since you transferred to Yumenosaki, you've gotten close to the members of Knights after closely working with them after the DDD incident. Then, upon Leo’s return, you started getting close to him as well. The more you two hanged out, the more your feelings started to grow and eventually, you ended up falling for him… Hard…

Your ‘crush’ on the said king was so obvious to the other members that they would often tease you whenever they could. Offhanded nicknames and comments such as these were common at this point but they never failed to make you blush and internally cuss them out. You’re honestly surprised that Leo seemingly didn’t notice but you just assumed that he thought this was all platonic since he often says “I love you~!” to his friends anyways. This kind of upsets you but, at the same time, you’re very grateful as your feelings were still a secret.

• ━━°⌜ Timeskip ⌟°━━ •

After practice, Leo immediately jumped up and grabbed his bag before dashing to the door. “I’m heading off now! I gotta help my family with dinner~ Bye-be~e~☆” and with that, Leo was out the door in the blink of an eye. You waited for a minute or two and, when you were 100% certain that he was gone, you groaned loudly and sank into the desk.

“Your efforts are so pathetic that they’re comical at this point.” “Now now Izumi-chan, there’s no need to rub salt on their wounds... We all know [ Y/N ]-chan’s trying their best...” “Yeah Secchan, it’s not their fault their brain seemingly turns to mush every time they see anything remotely orange~”

“Guys, I get it…” you groaned again, grabbing your water bottle and taking a sip; “I just can’t help it! Every time I see him, I can’t seem to think properly!!”

“[ Y/N ]-san, this may seem quite bold, but have you ever thought about finally confessing? You’ve been pining over LEADER for quite some time now, and I believe that telling him your feelings can finally give you some CLOSURE.”

“I’m trying!!” you dramatically wailed, “Every time I think about finally confessing, I back out at the last second and come up with a super dumb excuse! Just last week, I planned to confess but got so scared that I ended up asking if we could play rock-paper-scissors instead!!”

A scoff caused you to turn to the silver-haired knight who was seemingly holding back his laughter. “Izumi seems to think that was hilarious…” you sarcastically called out, causing him to raise an eyebrow with a small smirk on his lips. “At least I don’t go around asking people if they want to play rock-paper-scissors~” he teased, making you huff in embarrassment. However, just before you could retaliate, a quiet voice spoke up.

“[ Y/N ]-san, if you struggle with words then why don’t you confess to Tsukinaga-senpai with a song instead? Singing and talking are two very different things, so maybe that could help you.” Anzu recommended, making you stop and think about it. “Well if I sang, then maybe I wouldn't get so embarrassed...” you quietly mumbled to yourself; “Do you think it’ll work?”

“Don’t overthink it [ Y/N ]-chan~ That’s the perfect way to confess to ou-sama!”

• ━━°⌜ Timeskip ⌟°━━ •

A few days passed since then and, with the help of Anzu and the other members of Knights, you were able to come up with the perfect confession song! It wasn’t too complicated, as you decided to poke fun at your previous confession attempts as a way to shed light into how you truly felt at the time. The song was both light-hearted and serious, and you hoped to build up those emotions for the climax, which was at the end where you would actually sing your confession.

Anzu was kind enough to book a recording booth after class on Friday and, the moment the bell rang, you immediately hopped out of your seat and ran to the studio. Throughout the week, you spent time with Leo as if everything was normal. It was quite hard, because Leo is surprisingly quite observant, but you somehow managed to pull through.

Once you entered the recording studio, Anzu was already there, setting up the recording devices as you went inside to set up the microphone itself. Once you were both done, Knights, excluding Leo of course, entered the studio. They wanted to help guide you through the vocals since you weren’t used to singing for an audience.

Once everything was in place, the recording session began.

The session went without a hitch as you sang through the choruses and verses with ease. With the feedback you got from the knights, you were also able to fine-tune all the melodic and harmonic details! However, your heart started to quicken the further you were in the song because you knew the inevitable was coming. With that, you finally reached the confession section.

It was a simple line! All you had to sing was, “You know, the truth is that I like you! I love you!!” and you’ll be done! That’s what you initially thought, but your hands started to shake with nervousness as you held the lyric sheets tightly.

“Just one more line [ Y/N ]-chan and you’ll be done! You got this!” Arashi cheered from outside the booth as Tsukasa smiled and nodded in agreement. “Let’s just get this over with alright?” Izumi huffed, but you’ve been friends with him for long enough to decipher that he was also cheering you on. Ritsu lazily gave you a thumbs up and a soft smile, indicating that he was rooting for you as well.

“Alright [ Y/N ]-san! Whenever you’re ready.” Anzu smiled as she moved forward and pressed the "record" button on the large device. Taking a deep breath in, you saw the light inside the booth change from red to green, indicating that the device was now recording. Mustering up all your strength and against the loud, rapid beating of your heart, you started to sing the final line.

“You know, the truth is, I, ah-” you stuttered out immediately, your hands seemingly shook with such force that you couldn’t even see the lyrics anymore! Your mind started to spin as you began to imagine Leo in front of you, looking at you with his shining green eyes that held an excited, yet curious, glint within them; wondering what you were going to say next.

At that moment, you became a complete mess.

“I, um, um, you know… You, aah… I, sorry, wait, um, you know-”

You were so caught up with your internal struggle to, ‘Just sing the damn line [ Y/N ]!’ that you failed to notice everyone outside the booth watching you. Some in surprise, others in slight amusement. Seeing that you didn’t want to stop, Anzu signed at the others to stay quiet as she decided to continue recording. All they could do was watch from the outside as you kept trying to push yourself;

“Uuh, I… About you…! You know, I, you… You know, I, you- I, you… Li, li, li-li, li-li, li… li-”

At this point, you weren’t looking at your lyric sheets for guidance anymore, but rather, you were staring at them to avoid the gazes of your friends. You could feel them watching you with confusion? Maybe pity? Who knows because you sure as hell didn’t want to know either!

“Li-li-li-li, li, li, li, li… Breathe in, out…” you muttered to yourself as you tried to psych yourself up, but the moment you looked up at your friends, you finally saw their expecting gazes and just sighed in defeat.

“Sorry, just forget it…” you languished, waving your hand in defeat and signaling Anzu to stop recording. She looked at you with empathy, and understanding, as your gaze was down at your feet. Your mind started to fill with various thoughts running at once.

‘Am I really going to back down now after all the help they gave me? Am I really gonna allow myself to give up just like that...?’ you thought as you subtly glanced up at your friends once again.

You didn’t want to read into their expressions too deeply but you could tell that they were more worried about you. Anzu saw your gaze and gave you a small smile and a nod, but just as she was about to click the "stop recording” button, a wave of determination seemingly engulfed you. Izumi noticed this and quickly grabbed Anzu’s wrist, causing her finger to hover just above the button as you yelled out, “Wait!” at the same time.

As they all looked at you with encouragement, you took another deep breath in and tried again;

“Li, li, li-li, li-li-li-li. Li-li-li-li, li… li… li… li… Li, li, li-li, li-li, li… li… Like you, I love you!!”

The blush on your face was now a deep, deep shade of red as your heart was beating so hard that you genuinely thought that it’d break through your ribcage at any point now. Looking at your friends once again, you can see Arashi silently clapping with a smile, Tsukasa giving you a thumbs up, Izumi with a small smile and Ritsu mouthing “You did it~” as Anzu stopped the recording.

“I don’t think this is gonna work out after all…” was the first thing you muttered out when you exited the booth. “Don’t say that [ Y/N ]-chan! You were finally able to say it in the end! Plus, I personally find your stuttered singing to be quite cute, you know~” Arashi comforted you but it only caused you to sigh even more. “There’s no way it was good enough though…” you mumbled, fumbling with your thumbs as you started to feel self-conscious.

As the others tried to comfort you, their voices were drowned out by the negative thoughts that started to plague your mind. ‘Leo deserves better than this…’ , ‘This wasn't a good idea after all…’ , ‘I’m going to make a bigger fool out of myself with this after all, huh…?’ were just some of the ideas that clouded your thoughts. Finally packing up your bag, you turned to them all with a sad smile.

“Sorry for dragging you all into this and wasting your time… I think it’d be best if you just pretended that this never happened…” you choked out as you left the studio before anyone could say a thing.

• ━━°⌜ Timeskip ⌟°━━ •

That night, you started to overthink the entire situation, causing you to drown in self-loathing at the thought of wasting your friends' precious time. You spent so much time thinking to yourself, that the weekend seemingly passed by in the blink of an eye. Luckily, you were able to come to terms with the whole situation when Monday rolled around.

‘I’m ok with pining from a distance as long as we're still friends... It wouldn’t be that bad, right?’ you thought to yourself as you got ready for school once again. With this newfound sense of acceptance, you decided to find Anzu and the other knights to apologize to them; and that’s exactly what you did.

You entered the school gates and greeted everybody as if you totally didn’t have a mini breakdown during the weekend and, when you ran into Anzu and the others, you greeted them as usual before apologizing. You were glad that they accepted your apology, as they completely understood your perspective but, at the same time, something seemed off about them all.

You first noticed this from Anzu. She seemed excited about something. When you asked, she said that she got to mix a really important song during the weekend and she was super happy with the results! Listening to her happy ramble eased any worries you had so you moved on.

When you went to Tsukasa, you noticed that he was a bit jumpy but you didn't question it because Knights’ next live was coming up and you just assumed that he was nervous about that.

Ritsu was surprisingly more awake than his usual morning-self. When you teasingly asked why, he just said that he had to give something important to "someone" and moved on. He never told you who this "someone" was but you just assumed that it was a classmate.

Arashi was quite giddy and cheerful, but the wording of her teases made you do a double take. Subtle remarks such as, "[ Y/N ]-chan don't worry about a thing! I still ship you two so hard! Ah~ You will be such a cute couple~" in combination with her playful winks never failed to make you blush. Once again though, you thought that this was her way of making you feel better because she was acting like the recording session didn't happen in the first place.

Last was Izumi. He didn’t seem any different compared to the others when you went to him to apologize, but what caught your attention was the fact that he kept checking his phone every minute or so in rapid succession. You just thought that his schedule was packed so you didn't mind.

However, something else was off… Normally, you’d see Leo composing in the halls and greet him on the way to class but today... He wasn't there?

Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you entered your classroom wondering where he was. Taking a seat on your desk, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket before opening the message;

Izumi : oi, can you help me find ou-sama? class will start soon and his stuff isn't even there yet! So now I’m the one tasked with hunting him down this is so annoying… You : huh that’s strange… shouldnt he be finished vandalizing the hallways by now? Izumi : did you seriously think I didn't check?! jeez, I'm not stupid [ Y/N ] he must be somewhere else go check our studio and I’ll check the halls again You : you can count on me o7

Shoving your phone into your pocket, you hopped out of your seat, left your classroom and started your search. Looking around the halls curiously, you wondered why Izumi asked for your help in the first place. 'The studio huh...? Leo usually isn't in there in the mornings so why should I check there?' you thought to yourself as your eyes scanned the halls for a familiar shade of orange.

As you continued your way to the studio, you started to lose hope as the halls were seemingly void of any scribbles. ‘Where could he be?!’ you thought to yourself as you tried to rack your brain for any possible leads. Just as you were deep in thought, you suddenly stopped dead in your tracks as you heard a familiar voice humming a very familiar tune.

‘Oh fuck…’ was the only thought that crossed your mind as your heart sank. Turning towards the direction of the voice, you were met with the sight of Leo laying on his stomach on the floor in Knights' studio, holding an IPod and wearing earphones.

Quietly making your way towards the opened door, you slowly leaned in from the side of the doorframe and peeked in, trying to hide yourself. This seemingly worked as Leo didn't notice you and continued humming, even bopping his head to the beat of the song. Your song.

All you could do was quietly watch in horror as you even caught him humming a recognizable rhythm. Tensing at what you heard, you instantly knew that those were your stutters. Trying to hold back your tears, your mind was racing with so many thoughts.

‘Why is the stuttering there?! Didn’t I tell you guys to forget about the song-’ your thoughts were cut off by a surprised, “Ah!” from inside the room. You stared at Leo for a few seconds before your mind finally processed that he was looking at you too, with an unreadable expression. So, you gave him a small smile to try and hide your nervousness.

“Hey Leo… Izumi’s looking for you, he said that you need to go to class…” you explained in an uncharacteristically hushed tone as you tried to fight back your tears. You didn’t want him to see you cry, especially since the damage was already done with the song. ‘I don’t want to make things worse…’ you thought to yourself but, just before you could run away, Leo gave you playful pout.

“Uuu… [ Y/N ]~ Forget about classes! I-Aah, wait!! I cannot allow myself to forget~ This is su~per important so listen~☆”

‘Here it is…’ you thought as you braced yourself for the inevitable rejection, but you jumped in surprise when you felt Leo hug you tight. Without his smile faltering in the slightest, he pulled you in close and nuzzled into your face like a cat. A deep blush covered your cheeks as you stood there frozen in shock, your mind going blank due to the situation you're currently in.

“L… Leo?!” you were able to stammer out in confusion, causing the orange-haired knight to look at you with a happy glimmer in his eyes. Without breaking away from hug, he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and, with the same melody you know all too well, sang;

“I like you, I love you too~♪”

[yourlocalartsonist]

ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter One

A/N: HI I’M FINALLY POSTING THE FIRST CHAPTER. Really excited and super nervous but I’m SO happy I can finally share this with everyone. I’m not doing a drawing for every chapter since that’d be selling my soul to the red dilf down below but this is the first chapter so I figured why not do something special. Also apologies if any of the characters seem ooc, I’m still learning how to write them so it might take a bit (especially the dialogue). Also also, sorry if the formatting seem weird, I just copy pasted a google doc into Tumblr and I haven’t entirely figured out how this app works yet. ANYWHIZZLE despite all that I hope y’all enjoy and I can’t wait to write more ^^

Next Chapter

Masterlist

Disclaimer: chapter involves themes of manipulation, violence, and curse words. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe <3

I looked out the window and sighed. Today could have been a lot worse, sure, but it also could’ve been a whole lot better.

It was one am on a Monday night. Staying up this late this early in the week is gonna guarantee a begrudgingly painful school life till Friday. And yet, here I was, staring at my phone at his texts.

Zane: Hey! You were active on insta. How come you didn’t text back?

Zane: hey it’s been an hour now. I’m starting to worry about you

Zane: Salena are you ignoring me? I already said I was sorry

Zane: fine then. Don’t text me. But at least talk to me tomorrow. I miss you.

Zane: Goodnight.

He was getting clingier by the day. Last month when he asked me out, I was worried rejecting him would break his heart. Somehow, it looks like it had the opposite effect and boosted his ego since he’s only gotten more pushy after that. I mean today he picked a fight with a guy just for talking to me. It’s getting ridiculous.

I groaned and hopped off bed to get a drink of water. I know I should probably forgive him, I’m sure he’s just coping differently maybe. It’ll get better with time. I hope it gets better with time. Otherwise the next four months are gonna be excruciatingly long. Still, I can’t just not be mad after what he did.

As I lamented in my depressive thoughts, I saw four figures out the window, running from rooftop to rooftop. Smiling, I opened the window and let the cool air and the joyous voices flow in. At least one good thing’s coming out from today.

It looked like they were chasing someone, a giant pig man specifically. I would’ve been more freaked out if this was the first human-animal thing I saw.

The very first time I saw one was a giant bull in a bellboy uniform running along the sidewalk, clumsily knocking anything and everything over as he wept. I assumed my sleep deprived brain was probably making things up again but the sheer absurdity of it paired with the fact that my sleep schedule was actually decent that week, I began to question that guess. Then, only ten minutes later, seeing four human-sized turtles walking upright seemingly searching for the bull man sealed the deal that I could not be making this shit up.

But that was two or three years ago. Now, it’s more of a fun surprise seeing the new animal person of the week than a sanity-questioning spiral. Most often, I see the turtles passing by. Sometimes they’re goofing off or skateboarding. Other times, they’re chasing someone like right now. I can only assume the pig man is evil if he’s being chased by them. I know the turtles are good since I suspect they’re the “mysterious heroes” that saved New York from that-which-shall-not-be-named a few months back. I mean, who else could it be?

Even if they’re chasing a potential murderous lunatic, they seem like they’re having fun. They’re all smiling and laughing and whizzing around everywhere, just looking at them gives me an adrenaline rush.

I stared out the window longingly as they zipped by, disappearing into the night. Maybe the late night was getting to my brain, but things just felt worse than usual this time. I’ve been watching these four go by my window at least once a week for so long. They always look so fun to be around. Free-spirited and zany, the exact opposite of everyone in my life. Maybe I really am going insane but for once I just want to know them, to see them up close. And if I’m feeling particularly crazy, I might even say hello.

I found my body edging closer and closer out the window. The fire-escape does lead all the way down, and I’m only on the sixth floor anyway. It’s not exactly a fast distance to the ground but it wouldn’t be too bad if I run…

Before I knew it, I was already out dashing in their direction to catch up. I’ve only ever dreamed of having enough courage to actually attempt this. If my aunt finds out I snuck out my grave will be dug and that’s not an exaggeration.

Yet somehow, that didn’t stop me. My skin felt numb from the cold wind, my hair was going crazy behind me. I felt pain in my cheeks from how much I was smiling. I guess I am feeling particularly crazy tonight.

***

By the time I caught up with them, I was embarrassingly out of breath. They were now all ground level in an alleyway and I was hiding just around the corner, close enough to listen in. A little nervous if they can hear my hideous dying dog pants, not just because it would blow my cover but also for the sake of my prestige. They seem a little too distracted by the pig man to notice me, though.

“Alright, meathead! Give us the poison, or I’m gonna smash your head into the wall and keep smashing till I smash the wall down with my smashy little fists!”

Note to self: the red one likes smashing.

“Oh get stuffed you annoying little rats! Can’t a guy sabotage his rival chef’s excuse of a business in peace?”

“GASP! He’s defaming rats!”

They broke out into a fight over what looked to be a large bag of, assumedly, poison. The pig man’s tentacle arms were whipping all over the place, trying to land a blow on the turtles. Oh and apparently his arms can extend which I would find cool if it weren’t for how gross it looked. It’s all drippy and squishy-looking and weird, not a texture I’d want to be near.

I won’t lie, I was kind of distracted from the danger I put myself in since being this close allowed me to properly see the turtles fight. At first glance it looks like they’re flailing all over the place, but it’s actually in a more cohesive way. The blue turtle teleported around and sliced the tentacles attacking them, the red one went in for a punch with giant fists at any opening. Purple guy had glowing guns in his signature color all shooting at the same time and the orange turtle swung around hitting pig man with any object his fiery chains landed on. My god was I awestruck watching them all in action. I was so busy gawking I barely even registered the magic weapons.

One of the flame chains got a hold of his leg and sent the pig guy flying backwards, losing grip of his poison bag.

“Heads up!” The blue one yelled as the bag soared through the air. All the turtles attempted catching it while the pig man’s tentacle arm followed close behind the bag. It looked like it was about to be body horror Peppa Pig’s win.

So I stepped out and grabbed the bag before he could. All eyes now on me, I made a run for it in the other direction realizing how exposed I was. Behind me I could hear a confused “Who was that?” sounding like it was from the purple guy.

Yeah, sure, maybe this wasn’t the smartest move but if I’m getting myself involved I might as well be useful.

I’d break in and out of thought every time I crashed into a wall or slid on the ground. I was never exactly known for my clearly graceful nature. My body started aching. Still I kept running, only stopping to throw a rock or two at one of the stringy pink arms behind me. Seriously, why does that dude have to be so puke-worthy.

A silver blur sped right past my head. The glowing sword stopped in front of me and a familiar blue turtle appeared out of thin air.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

As much as I pride myself on reflexes, the initial shock didn’t wear off fast enough to prevent me from crashing into him and falling back on the ground. I barely had an impact on him, though, since he was still standing perfectly fine with a hand on his hip and the other gripping his weapon.

“Look pal, I have been heroing all week and as much as I love fighting villains and looking badass, I say we make this fast and you just tell me who sent you.”

“S-sent me?” It took me a while to catch on. Not my best day, I know.

“Oh, no no no! I'm not working for anyone! I was trying to help. See?”

I held out the bag towards him, hoping that would convince him I’m not a threat. To my surprise, instead of taking it, he squinted his eyes and me and crouched down to match my height.

“You know, you look kinda familiar. Have we met before?..”

I was too stunned to respond.

Back when I first saw the turtles, after seeing the human bull, I overheard them talking about him and wanting to find him. The blue one especially, he seemed extremely guilty about something. I figured I’d help but I wasn’t brave enough to just go up to them and tell them I saw the bull. I’m too shy to even approach regular humans, these were talking anthropomorphic turtles. So instead I threw a note down and it bounced off blue’s head. He looked at it, read it, then looked up at me. I poked my head out from behind the fire escape and gave an awkward wave, trying to let him know I was on their side. It worked since he directed his team towards where I wrote the bull man went.

I remember later that same night, he knocked on my window. I was a bit freaked out admittedly and hid away by instinct. I wasn’t exactly expecting to see them again.

“Oookay. Well.” I could tell he wasn’t sure how to deal with me. I was regretting hiding but my legs were frozen in place.

“I don’t know if you can hear me since the window’s closed but I wanted to say thanks for the note. We found our guy way faster than we would’ve if we kept having to use Raph’s ideas.” He let out a playful chuckle.

I felt my heart melt a little. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t really that. I don’t usually hear things like that often.

“So yeah uh, if you can still hear me, thank you.”

My legs started working again as I heard him leap off to leave. I opened the window and rushed out to the fire escape. Luckily, he was on the ground not too far away from me. I called out to him.

“Salena!”

He turned around and saw me. “What?”

I beamed brighter and yelled again.

“My name is Salena!”

“Salena?” His voice brought me back to present day.

“You remember me?”

He let out a cheery laugh. “Of course I remember you! I told you, your note was the only reason we found Bullhop so fast that day.”

“But that was years ago.” I sighed in disbelief as he helped me to my feet.

“And? No face has ever escaped ol’ Neon Leon’s noggon!” He proudly pointed to his brain. I debated telling him the word was noggin.

We heard voices in the distance.

“PUNCHING LIKE A BOSS!!”

“I SWEAR ONE DAY I’LL TURN YOU ALL INTO STEW!”

“GUYS! He wants to turn me into stew!”

“Mikey, that’s not a good thing.”

“Says you! I’d make a delicious stew, thank you very much, Dee!”

“Welp, duty calls! Let’s get you to safety.” With that, he opened a blue portal and pulled me through it to a nearby rooftop. So his swords can teleport and open portals??

“You think you can keep this bag with you?”

I managed to nod.

He gave a smirk and stepped back through his portal to rejoin the battle.

“Leo! Where’s the bag?”

“And the person who stole the bag?” I could still hear red and purple speak.

“Relax, they’re a friend, they’re keeping the bag safe.”

“A new friend?! OMIGOSH!!” Orange seemed excited

The fight picked up fiercer than before. It was hard to keep up with the turtles and the chaos of their weapons. Orange flames, purple lasers, sheathing metal. The ground shook at every red flash. All the while, the air filled with lively laughter and jokes.

Pig man wasn’t going down easy, either. He pounded his giant spiky mallet, probably matching the force of red’s hits. I know they’re experienced fighters and all, but I felt a bit useless sitting around and doing nothing. I looked around for some way I could help.

Luckily, something caught my attention. On the left side of the roof, I could see a pile of bricks laying around. More than perfect for knocking out a mutant. Now the question is how to get them down.

I saw a flash of blue out the corner of my eye.

Bingo.

Screaming at the top of my lungs, hoping my voice wouldn’t be drowned out, I called out to him.

“Blue! Hey, blue up here!”

He followed my voice to where I was, looking a bit confused and worried I was giving myself away.

I pointed to the brick in my hand. “Make a portal on top of him!”

I saw his face light up as he understood my plan. “Great idea!”

As he dashed off, a blue portal opened near me. I rushed around the roof, grunting as I pushed the bricks in. Blue threw a sword in the air, appeared right above the pig, and opened the other side of the portal, letting all the bricks rain down on him. They all looked a bit surprised seeing around 8 or 10 bricks hit him on the head, blue included. Yeah, sure, maybe pushing all of them in was a bit overkill but seeing how crazy powerful this guy was, I didn’t want to risk it.

And boy, was he out cold. The four turtles made their way up the roof, I presume to get the bag of poison.

I glanced back down at the pig “So like…he’s not dead is he?”

“Meatsweats? Nah that guy’s handled way worse.” Blue said strangely casually. “Good thinking with the bricks, btdubs.”

I’d appreciate the compliment more but I was still struggling to figure out what could possibly be worse than bricks to the head.

“Yeah, thanks for your help back there with the poison, too.” red rubbed his neck and gave a sweet smile. For a big guy he seems awfully friend-shaped.

“I’m Raph. These are my brothers Leo, Mikey, and Donnie.” Leo struck a pose, Mikey waved like his life depended on it, and Donnie…well he was just on his phone with his shell turned towards me. It’s a cool shell, at least. I never noticed it wasn’t a real one before.

“I’m Salena. Nice to meet you all.”

People used to tell me I ask too many questions so I got into the habit of just keeping my tongue bit. But I would’ve exploded if I didn’t seize the moment today to find out what the hell was going on. I’m bad at social situations, anyway, might as well be on purpose.

“So if you don’t mind me asking…What are you? How do you exist? Where’d you get your weapons? Did you make your shell yourself? Who was that guy? Can I see what’s in this bag?”

“AHEM! I’m glad you asked!” Donnie turned his attention towards me, dramatically answering my questions. “We, weird human, are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (trademark). And yes, my battle shell is indeed Genius Built technology. Made this baby when I was twelve.”

“We’re mutant turtles!-”

“Literally just said that in the name Micheal”

“Still think Mad Dogz was better.”

“-And we were made in Draxum’s lab to take over the world back when he was going through his ‘bad boy’ phase but we ended up being heroes instead. Pretty cool right?”

“Hey, inquiry for you actually, why’d you help us anyway?”

I awkwardly answered Donnie, telling them about my luck of random mutants frequently passing by my window. Apparently some of them were Yōkai, Raph said there was a whole Hidden City of them and a doorway leading to it near where I lived. I was a little surprised at how happy they all looked listening to me talk. Usually I’d be told to shut up by now so this was a nice change of pace.

“What happened to your arm?” Leo pointed to the wound on my forearm.

“Oh. That explains why it felt so sore. I guess I scraped against a wall or something? It’s fine, though, I’ll patch it up when I get home.”

“No way. You helped us, we help you. Let the professional do his magic.”

Leo took out some supplies from his pouch. I sat on the edge and let him work on my arm while the rest - mostly Donnie - info dumped their stories to me. At first it was a way to distract me from the initial sting of my cuts being cleaned but it wasn’t long until they got carried away with their storytelling. They told me about their mutation at the lab, how they found out, their two dads and other human friends. The oozequitoes, as they called them, were what made them and all the other mutants. It’s crazy to think these guys were made as literal military weapons considering they’re now wacky vigilantes.

“Voilà! Look and be amazed!”

“Woah! You weren’t kidding when you said professional.” I admired Leo’s bandaging on my arm. It was clean and neat, tight enough to be secure but not turning my fingers blue or anything. Much better job than I would’ve done.

The full moon was beautiful tonight. Unfortunately, it reminded me where I should be at this time.

“Well, I’m really enjoying talking to guys but I should probably go home. I don’t even wanna know how late it is”

“What? But can’t you stay a little longer?” Mikey, who was practically vibrating this whole time, suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He looked so dejected it made my heart hurt. Raph attempted to comfort him.

“They probably have school Mike. Maybe we can hang out another time, if you’re up for it?”

“REALLY- I mean, yes, yeah. That sounds lovely!” Stay civil, Salena.

“Hey before you go, you should really try one of these.” Leo opened the poison bag and took out a pizza puff? “They are absolutely delicious.”

Poison or not, pizza puff’s a pizza puff.

“NO!“ Unfortunately, Raph slapped the treat out of my hand before I could plop it in my mouth.

We bid our farewells and Mikey handed me a paper with their numbers on it paired with some cute doodles of them. After telling him where to go, Leo opened a portal to my room. I know you’re not supposed to tell strangers your address and it did feel a little weird but a portal was the fastest way home. No way I’m hoofing it this late in the night. I love New York but not that much.

Sitting on my bed now, I observed the blue turtle as he was getting ready to go back. The red stripes around his eyes made me realize he was a red-eared slider, I read about them back when I was six or seven I think.

“Hey Leo?”

“Yeah?”

I smiled. “It was nice running into you again.”

He gave his signature smirk “Funny how life works, ay?”

He waved and fell back into his portal. I closed my eyes for a bit, then grabbed my sketchbook.

Placing Mikey’s doodles on a blank page, I wrote down their respective eye colors.

Green, brown, yellow, blue.

Next Chapter | Salena Moni

[bardicbeetle]

An exercise in old muses and people who don't belong to me.

Welcome to I'm running an RPG and writing fic about plot points that I didn't get to because my players went a different (and equally fucked) route.

“You made it, good.” Christa smiles, easy and practiced. This guy is no different from any of the other desperate fledglings she’s made. “Follow me—we should get started as soon as possible.”

“You uh, you really have a cure for this?”

“I’m working on it,” she clarifies, she’s always found it best not to outright lie about that part. “it’s still experimental but it does help keep you in control and keep the hunger minimal. I’m hoping that I can get to a point where—”

“—What the fuck?”

Ah.

He’s spotted Jonathan.

“Don’t pay him any mind,” Christa says, words laced with just a hint of suggestion, just an urge of don’t worry, let it go, he’s not important. “He killed my mother, tried to kill me, I’ve been trying to come up with a worthwhile way of destroying him but—” she stops, mostly for effect, one fist balling up. “—I just, just haven’t thought of anything that holds up to what he did. He’s harmless, and mostly unconscious, he won’t be a problem.”

Thankfully, the little mental push seems to put Aksel at ease.

At least enough that he follows her the rest of the way into the lab.

“I’m sorry about Rissa by the way,” Christa starts again, “she’s the whole reason I’m doing all this—she got turned when we were in high school and I always felt like it was my fault—” She weaves the story about Jonathan and his sister and the death of her mother the same way she always does. About how Rissa was infatuated with Jonathan, and his sister had wanted Christa for herself—and how all of it went to hell in a matter of weeks.

She talks about giving Rissa her blood.

About bleeding herself dry for years just to keep Rissa from hurting anyone because she couldn’t control herself.

Christa tells the story the same way she always does.

About Jonathan coming back.

About him forcing his blood down her throat after nearly killing her.

About him hunting Christa just as much as she was hunting him.

There’s a hypnotic edge to the way she talks.

Something she’d become very good at about two years back.

It made things easier.

Pressing her mind into other peoples.

Willing them to follow her lead.

It does snap when she tightens the first cuff, and Aksel jolts like she’s burnt him.

“It’s okay.” She says softly, “The process can hurt—it hurts less if you don’t thrash around. I’ll undo them as soon as it’s done—you have my word.”

And she would.

He just wouldn’t be alive for that part.

It’s almost a shame this time around. He seems so genuinely lost. As though the whole ordeal has sent him spiraling. It’s not something she’s seen often, but he’s not the first. A lot of the time people call her sooner—bare minimum before they kill. That alone made him a bit of an outlier.

It didn’t matter though.

The last time she’d done this, she had managed to stand outside in the sun for a few hours—but that was on half blood. She wouldn’t get the same result here.

A shame.

The warmth had been nice.

But his blood was new and weak and it would be decent stock to keep in case Jonathan got too skeletal or Rissa stopped providing her own.

Then she could keep going.

Eventually perfect at least the halfway point.

Get Rissa back in the sunlight.

And maybe someday, back to aging like she should.

“How did you… start all this?”

“It was a stupid idea at first,” Christa says, because it was, “the idea that a full transfusion of human blood could reverse the whole process. Drain out all the vampire shit, put human stuff back in, boom, hello sunshine and daytime tv. But it’s not that easy. Even our bodies don’t love being fully drained—it’s delicate keeping the balance right so that you don’t turn into a husk—”

“—a what—”

“—Don’t worry.” She says again, “I’ve done this enough times now that there’s really no risk of that. Besides, that was the first iteration—and like I said, it was a stupid idea and it didn’t work.” She walks away towards the cooler, leaving him tied up, arms legs and chest all fully strapped down to her one little office chair.

The bottom of the cooler is host to a handful of yellowy-clear IV bags, and she picks one out at random.

“Drink this—all of it. It’ll help with the pain.”

“What is it?”

“It’s plasma—dosed up with an alarming amount of painkillers. It’ll keep your hunger down while I take some blood and it’ll stop some of the pain from the next part. The dose has to be high because your body doesn’t respond the same to any kind of influence anymore. Drugs, booze, caffeine, none of it. Unless it’s a lot stronger.” This again, is half true. There are painkillers in there. But there’s also enough tranquilizer to put out a fucking moose. She’s not in the mood to hear screaming today.

The noise Aksel makes says none of these words inspire confidence. But he’s already tied down, so they don’t have to.

The last thing Christa does, as usual, is click on the webcam sitting on top of her monitor, aligning it properly so she can start the log.

“Alright, Aksel. Let’s get started.”

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Congrats on the 8 Hundo!! Your writing's been a joy to read ^ ^! can we get a prompt 6 with Amber? Love that funky fire bunny archer

“I remember practising how to ask you out in front of the mirror”

Characters: Amber x gn!reader

Warnings: none, just fluff

This post is part of my 800 Follower event, if you'd like to read more post belonging to the event, you can find them under the tag #JustASimp'sSimpingEvent on my blog

a/n: I can't put in words how much I love Amber. She was definitely one of my favourite characters in the beginning and I love her as much as I hate Hoyoverse for making her gameplay so… eugh. I could probably build her and have a decent time, but I could also just place her into my teapot to farm friendship levels… hmm.

I didn’t write for Amber in some time, so if she’s a bit ooc, then I’m very sorry. But I think this should be at least decent

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Amber

You’d often run into Amber doing her work for the knights of Favonius, be it patrolling the areas around Mondstadt or accidentally nearly giving you a heart-attack by suddenly appearing in the tree next to you, looking out for potential threats. Whenever you did, the two of you would talk for as long as the outrider could without remembering that she was on duty at the moment.

You quickly found yourself admiring the way she managed to talk to complete strangers as if they had been friends for years, remembering how frantically you went through all your memories the first time the two of you spoke, trying to remember if you two knew each other in your childhood and you just forgot who exactly she was, only to find out later that you had actually never met.

Like most days you found yourself in the middle of the woods, searching for mushrooms, berries, and all kinds of other, possible ingredients for lunch. Sure, you could have just bought them in the market square of Mondstadt and be done with, making your job much easier, but where’d be the fun in that? Just as you picked up another mushroom that would be perfect for chicken-mushroom-skewer and where about to put it in your basket, you heard someone call out your name, causing your head to instantly turn in the direction the sound was coming from.

“Oh, Amber, I didn’t expect to run into you here of all places. Are you on duty again?”, you asked once she was near enough to hear you, your lips curved into a welcoming smile. Seeing Amber while foraging in the woods wasn’t exactly a rare sight, she was an outrider after all… well, the outrider, to be more precise. What caught you off-guard was her shaking her head in response.

“Well, it makes sense that you’d assume that, after all I usually am. But no, not today. I saw you walk into the forest alone and thought I might as well keep you some company, you know, to make sure that you wouldn’t get hurt by wild boars or wolfs”, Amber responded with a wide, shining smile before striking a proud pose.

“Wow, what a responsible knight you are, sacrificing your own free time to make sure your fellow citizens don’t get harmed”, you stated jokingly, causing the outrider to play along and nod while humming in approval.

It didn’t take the two of you to start your usual routine again, talking about all kinds of stuff, from what happened the past few days, to what you were going to cook with your found ingredients, and even just a few funny stories, causing the two of you to end up as nothing but laughing messes. When you finally calmed down, you suddenly felt the atmosphere get a bit more serious, causing you to glance to Amber to see what she was up to, only to find her check her surroundings before turning back to you.

“Hey, would you mind if I asked you something?”, she eventually asked, her somewhat more serious tone still managing to catch you off-guard. Nevertheless, you quickly answered her question, telling her she could ask you whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, only for Amber to bombard you with both questions and information, her fast talking making it hard to understand everything. Whenever you managed to decipher one sentence, she had already thrown three more your way.

“Wait, Amber… slow down, please”, you eventually cut her off, your head starting to hurt from all the attempts to understand her ramble. “I can’t understand half of what you were saying”, you eventually added, putting down your basket and using your hands to massage your temples.

“I’m sorry, I remember practising how to ask you out in front of the mirror, but it seems like I didn’t account the effect of being nervous”, she apologised, causing you to immediately wave your hand in dismissal.

“No problem, I’m also not good with dealing with nervou-”, you were about to answer, only to stop yourself in the middle of the sentence. “Wait… Ask me out?”, you repeated, not being sure if you heard her right.

“Yes, I thought that I could show you how to build a baron bunny—the non-explosive kind of, course—or just go out to eat something at Good Hunter, if that’s what you’d like more”, she explained, unintentionally making your brain stop for a couple of seconds, causing you to blankly stare at her for a few seconds, making the outrider start to worry.

“Like… as friends?”, you found yourself once again asking, wanting to make absolutely sure you didn’t misunderstand her. Amber was a kind and outgoing person, one whose way of speaking made even total strangers wonder if they really didn’t knew her and weren’t actually best friends, so her asking you out as friends didn’t seem too farfetched.

“No…”, she answered, only to quickly add something, while flaying her arms in front of her “Well, if you’d like to be just friends instead that would be totally fine too. I wouldn’t want to force you into something you didn’t want.”

You stood there in silence for a couple of seconds, trying to comprehend what she had just said, only to quickly stutter out an answer when you noticed the look of worry on her face, “O-oh sure. Sorry, I was just t-trying to make sure I didn’t misunderstand anything.”

Amber’s face immediately lit up, her smile bigger than any you had ever seen before. “Great! Are you free tomorrow afternoon?”, she asked, only for you to nod in response. “Then how about I’ll show you then how to build yourself a plushie as amazing as baron bunny?”, she suggested, smiling even brighter when you accepted her proposal, before saying her good-byes and waltzing-off, waving you until you could no longer see her, leaving both of you excited for the next day.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Yeah, also since I read manga weekly, any spoiler that I do see usually isn’t major like that one. It really did. And like I said, I was with extended family and it was so difficult not to cry as much as I wanted to and I only managed to keep myself calm with the thought that there might be more to it, it might not be final beause he really is just such a fun character. That’s so nice to hear and I’m also excited to see you write about them 😃 Yeah, other people also predict autumn at the latest and it would make the most sense considering everything that’s happening in the story. Yeah, same here. Like I do really love the series and am always excited to read a new chapter every Friday evening (when there’s no break), it’s pretty much become my routine to read it after dinner, but even though I love it dearly and will probably at some point rewatch the anime, I wouldn’t say I love it as much as some of the other series out there. And I see. And that might also explain why I don’t love it as much as some other series out there beause of that.

From what I saw after a quick search, both Persona 3 and 4 have less than 100 chapters. Sure thing. Oh, that’s unfortunate to hear. I’m sorry that happened and hope that you’re still able to rest properly at some point. But still glad to hear that you’re doing well ☺ I see. And it is a nice thing that it lets you take a break from things since I feel like for a decent amount of people, it probably is. Thank you for saying that. Since I could look it up, I did a quick search and the manga of D. Gray-Man is still ongoing. Oh that’s a good mood to be in. It’s funny though beause I finished the Swordsmith Village Arc a few days ago so we might’ve been watching the series around the same time or might’ve swapped around. Again, saving you a Google search beause this girl knows it just from what’s in her head. The Mugen Train season isn’t Crunchyroll screwing up beause those 7 episodes actually aired before the actual second season (The Entertainment District Arc which is 11 episodes). It’s the movie’s plot, but with some added scenes, plus the first episode is entirely new stuff, and when I did my rewatch, I watched both because yeah, both are done beautifully in their own ways. That’s also an important thing to do. I see. Yeah, I also really like that character and I do think that I love him and Sanemi equally, at least I said so at some point, beause they’re both just so great in their own ways. And since we’re talking about the movie here, this is the movie that made me upset a few weeks ago that I was talking in our DMs about. And yeah, hopefully now that I’ve explained it, you can go on to watch yet another great season. Yeah, true to what you’re saying about Avatar. Yeah, same. Like Toph is my girl and I was just looking forward to seeing her again when I was doing the rewatch and like I don’t think I have an actual proper favourite beause I love all of the main gang for who they are. They’re just all so great.

Yeah. A part of me wants to say more but I won’t in case of any kind of spoilers but it’s a well-told story until the very end. Yeah. Like the only ‘extra’ stuff we get is those extra scenes from the Mugen Train season and the stuff I was fangirling to you about in our DMs. Yeah, understandable. And after you’ve watched it all, if you still want to hear Genya in Japanese, I could find some of my favourite moments of him. Though there is one scene (apart from his first scene in the Swordsmith Village arc which was just so very Bakugou. Like what he said is something Bakugou says very often) that I’m thinking of so yeah, if you want to hear him in Japanese, I’ll give you the episode and the time stamp after you’ve watched it all. No problem. Yeah, it’s very clear beause even though it’s all clearly the final arc, there’s still a clear division between the two mini-arcs. I hope not. Like as much as I love the movies, I don’t think they’d be able to do those 22 chapters justice. Like the Mugen Train was 13 chapters to give an idea and that movie was almost two hours long so it would have to be a very long movie and considering what happens (not that I remember everything), we do need breathers. But yeah, I do understand your dislike towards the tentacles but I do feel like that’s probably the worst. Yeah, Genya’s first scene isn’t his best moment, like Nemi’s first moments actually, but like with Sanemi you do kind of get to understand why he was being such a dick and was so inpatient at that point when you learn his story. And yay to that. And when you do, just tell me all your thoughts beause he’s just so great and precious and deserves all the love 😭

Yay. That arc takes place a few episodes after the Tenrou Island arc and Sting’s first appearance is the episode after that arc’s done to give you an idea of when it takes place. No problem at all ☺ I see. Will you watch the whole of Beyblade then? Like go from the original to the Metal Saga? Thank you. I finished A Sign of Affection and it was nice. But yeah, even though I liked watching it and the couple was cute, I guess I would have liked more development. Like there’s this one very romance centred anime and it’s just one couple, but there’s still slight misunderstanding that the guy the girl is actually interested in thinks that she’s into his really good looking and all around amazing best friend (who I till this day will headcanon as aro ace) but she’s absolutely into the main guy and it’s just so cute and sweet and sure I haven’t rewatched it sine first seeing it but it definitely left a good impression on me. It’s called Ore Monogatari or My Love Story if you’re interested. But yeah, now it’s onto Tokyo Revengers and then finally Iruma-kun.

Yeah and believe me when I say that I was worried that they wouldn’t properly adapt the main backstory that takes place during this match. And thank you for the understanding. I’m not sure yet to what extent it will be a let down but it really was such an important match, probably the most important math considering it’s been set-up sine the very first season. Really and I hope they don’t beause they teased what the next movie would be about, another important Karasuno match in a different way, but on that same day there’s another match that’s also really important beause my owl boy has such, such amazing moments during that math (and I love what he says before the match even starts) and his backstory is shown in it and I just hope that one day the studio will say ‘Actually we will not only adapt this match properly but also everything that we did in the movies and of course the time-skip’ beause sure, everything is important, but that match showed a glimpse into Bokuto’s development and I really do fear that we’ll never see it animated. Funny thing is also when it comes down to that Bokuto match I sent a screenshot of a moment of him and literally was like ‘I will cry when this is animated’ so maybe the studio saw it and was like “Okay, we’ll never animate it then”. And true. Like I said about the Mugen Train movie, that was 13 chapters and the movie was almost two hours long. Yay 😄 Be excited. And that’s great to hear about you appreciating all their characterisations and be free to say anything you want about it all in our DMs when you get to responding to me. Thank you so much for all of that. Yeah, we definitely do get to see all the Hashira fighting at some point, and some do get to shine more than others and that’s probably why we got that extra scene in the latest movie I went to, to show a bit of two Hashira fighting before the final arc. I see. Yay 😄 Really glad to hear that. I’ve been doing pretty well. Saw some Doctor Who episodes today, the first ones with the Master and he’s such a fun character to watch. Though a few days ago at my latest physio appointment my physiotherapist said something which I didn’t especially like and now it just won’t leave my mind. Like I mentioned while we were talking about stuff that since I’m disabled, I probably won’t be called in to do certain things and first she was shocked that I’d even use that word to describe myself which was yeah, whatever since I don’t generally have any reason to, but then later she said that I’m not as disabled as other people and that’s stuck in my head since since of course I know that, but I’m still much less abled than other people around and I know she never sees me at my worst but it still stings and I know it’d be weird to bring it up again to her so I just wanted to say it here in hopes of it helping in leaving my mind. But yeah, apart from that, been doing pretty well. Have done some more of my diamond painting and put all my Bokuto anime screenshots in order and really do love all the expressions he makes. They’re just so funny and nice. He’s such a gift and I’m really so grateful for him.

C

I’m glad that most spoilers you see are relatively minor, being a weekly reader. I’m definitely not. I’m usually either rereading series that I’ve read before and forget a lot of what happened in them or I’m reading completed series. There’s only a couple I follow that are still ongoing, and I tend to forget to catch up with them for a couple weeks or such and binge the chapters that I missed. I’m horrible at keeping up with a lot of things. It sucks that you got such a massive spoiler in a situation where you could do nothing about the information. I don’t think I could’ve stayed calm and I would have had to excuse myself to go read real quick and then would’ve been upset the rest of the night, so you handled it really well! And I can definitely see the argument for autumn, so we’re just going to have to wait and see, I guess. I didn’t know the manga updates on Fridays, so that was fun to learn. Thank you for that. It’s also interesting to hear that you kind of see some of my points and feel the same way in some regards. It’s really comforting to hear that and I feel really relieved reading that.

Yeah, both anime and manga wise, Persona isn’t too long. I’m just saving up money so I won’t feel guilty splurging on the Steam versions of the games, because I’ve really gotten interested and want to give the actual games a try! And thank you for that. I’ll admit to getting very little proper rest lately, but on the other hand, I’ve been being really productive and that’s always a great feeling to have. Accomplishment is always a feeling I really enjoy and aim to get, so while I’m trading some rest and relaxation, I still feel good about it. Thank you so much for the saved Google searches and I find it amazing that D. Gray-Man is still ongoing. I’m wondering if the manga went on hiatus or something, because it’s been years since I read it and I remember thinking it had to be pretty close to wrapping up! In terms of Demon Slayer, I’ve finished up to the end of the Swordsmith Village Arc, so all the episodes that Crunchyroll has. I haven’t watched more than the first movie though, because Crunchyroll doesn’t have that but can I just reiterate – I’m so pissed off my manga app doesn’t have the manga because I really want to read it. I want so much more story and hopefully some more character development, since I feel there’s a lot more that is going to happen and I feel like the anime might be cutting out small moments because of pacing and such. I’m just intensely curious as to where everything is heading and why certain characters are the way they are and I always feel I get better handles on that through reading than through watching. That being said, I have a couple minor complaints, but overall, I really enoyed it. Thanks again for the recommendation! I’m mostly just pissed I don’t have more of it, hahaha! I honestly can’t think of any of the Avatar characters I truly hated, because even the villains were largely really well done.

Thank you for avoiding spoilers – unless it was in the movies though, I’m pretty sure I’m caught up on the anime? Now, it’s funny because I was just complaining about fillers, but I enjoyed the little ‘fillers’ at the end of the episodes of Demon Slayer, I just want to put that out there. Also, Haganezuka is now my husband, just saying it. He amuses me so much and I just adore him. I will definitely take hearing Genya in Japanese, if you wanna send me any of your favourite moments through dm’s! Especially if, like you said, there are scenes where you can really connect the voices to the different characters! I hadn’t realized the movies covered so few chapters so I do take back my statement then, because yeah, that was a long movie, covered a lot well, but a movie definitely couldn’t be made out of that many chapters then, since I think most fans are not Lord of the Rings loyal to the point where they’d sit through a four hour long movie. Heck, I don’t think even I would do that for much else besides LotR! I genuinely wish I was learning more about both Genya and Sanemi, and I know more about them has to be uncovered later on and I’m hoping they’ll both get focus on them after this arc as well, because I really feel we’re just barely scraping the surface here! They introduced a lot of characters we’d just barely seen before in the arc and it felt like none of them really got the focus that they should have gotten for us to properly know them, just going anime only.

Oh, that is helpful to know! I’m probably going to speedread through Fairy Tail and then watch the anime, so I’ll meet Sting via manga first, though I’m excited to also hear all the characters since I remember having really strong voice ideas for a few of them when I first read some of it way back when. As for Beyblade, I’ll give each series a try, but I’ll probably skip any series that don’t catch my attention within four episodes – I always try to give animated shows at least two hours before I decide if I’m interested and like them or not. I’m glad you enjoyed A Sign of Affection! I actually know of Ore Monogatari! I keep getting recommended it and honestly, it does seem like a romance I might actually enjoy, so it’s on my watchlist though it’s not the first one I decide to watch any time I’m flicking through that list! We actually might be watching Tokyo Revengers at the same time then, since it’s my next anime! I hope we both enjoy it 😊

Wait, it was that important of a match? Like, there’d been build up for it since that early and they did all the fans dirty by not giving that match a full movie entirely focused on it? That seems really frigging awful, not even going to lie. I hope, if the movie is indeed about that, that the important Karasuno match is the movie and then you get an arc for Bokuto and that match, including episodes showing his backstory. To me, just as a creator, that is the way I’d go – a movie for the big match and then a three to four short arc dedicated to the smaller match with Bokuto’s team. I’m also really glad to hear that we get to see all the Hashira fighting at some point, because I am curious about some of them and kind of really hope for some more Giyu moments, not going to lie.

I’m so, so angry at your physiotherapist though. If you feel, because you know your body best, that you’re disabled in some way, then you are and her treating you that way is inexcusable. Knowing you like I do, I can also safely say that I adore you but yeah, I agree with you, I do also consider you as someone who has a disability. I also think you handle it amazingly well, are gracious in the face of it, and really admire how kind you are even dealing with everything you do. Don’t let that twatface of a physiotherapist get you down. If I could, I would take their kneecaps. I’m sorry my reply came so late and I hope you’re doing as well as can be expected! Hugs!

[strangegrave]

what is having a system like? how does it affect you daily? im a curious anon who wants to learn more about these kinds of things and hear other's experiences , so this is a /genq for you

Thank you for your respectful curiosity. Note: I'm answering from my own life with dissociative identity disorder, and my experiences aren't necessarily applicable to everyone, and definitely not to everyone who identifies as a 'system'.

TW for mention of child abuse.

I don't consider myself as "having a system", or even a "system" (though there are some parts of me that feel so). I'm one person who doesn't experience my identity as a unified whole. It's an aspect of the disorder itself that you feel like a completely different person, and considering a lot of system-heavy online spaces affirm the belief that every alter is a separate person, it's not a surprise that that's how it's viewed (by even dissociatives themselves).

To be honest, what I find odd is when people say dissociative disorders are COMPLETELY different from the different personas all people fluctuate between. I think this mystifies the disorder. Everyone has the capacity to adapt their identity between different situations. As for myself, I often felt scared for my life as a kid. At those times, I coped emotionally by believing that I was a demon or a monster, because demons and monsters don’t have to be scared. 20 years later, I have a part that still wholeheartedly believes they're a demon. You can probably imagine how that affects my daily life (pensive emoji)

That's a more extreme end of the spectrum, though - more in line with the sort of stuff people expect when it comes to DID. Most of the time, I just feel a sense of not being 'myself', and that I've been lying to everyone about who I am as a person. When I'm dissociating, I also see my own writing and art and feel a strong sense of revulsion / a feeling of 'that's not me, I didn't make that'. It also applies to being reminded of actions a part did in the past, whether good or bad - there's a really strong sense of uneasiness and discomfort at being told of something you apparently did, that isn't in line with your usual behaviour, that you can't remember doing.

My parts are usually decent at 'masking' (acting like the same person), but on days when the dissociation is heavy, I struggle socially because people notice I'm talking to them differently than I normally do, and feel that I'm being cold or maybe even passive aggressive. (And to be fair, when people start talking differently than they normally do, it does often mean that they're upset).

Even when my parts do mask well, though, there's also the issue of not having equal access to memories. There's basic physical things like not remembering which toothbrush is mine, or whether the door was locked before we left. Then there's social things, like not remembering entire conversations with others (this is especially frustrating in my work life, because if something isn't in writing, I won't remember it. Meetings are completely useless to me). Even in hobbies and things I enjoy doing - for example, drawing - I keep forgetting aspects of how I draw, and having to teach myself again. It's very demoralizing feeling like you're stuck on a treadmill, experience-wise.

It's pretty nervewracking talking about this, because there's an unfortunately loud minority of people who insist that DID isn't a disorder, when the way I experience it is absolutely disordered. I'm hoping that maybe this will add to your perspective, or maybe even that it'll help other dissociatives whose experiences don't line up with the visible online community.

[solitaryandwandering]

Get to Know Me Ask Game

Tagged by @wen-kexing-apologist and @waitmyturtles, two of my fave moots!!

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair (both, I've had horrible hazelnut highlights, a dark blue streak, and red hair; I want to dye my hair red again at some point) // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces (four years! then I didn't wear my retainers often enough and fucked my teeth up again RIP) // I sunburn easily (not SUPER easily but I do have to be mindful, I also burn and tan in patches which is HIGHLY IRRITATING) // I have freckles (not many, mostly on my shoulders) // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I play a sport (not currently, but I used to play soccer, and did a handful of other stuff like track and volleyball) // I can play an instrument (I used to be pretty decent at violin, it's been YEARS but I feel like I would be okay if given time to relearn and practice) // I am artistic (-ally-minded? I'm not great at drawing or anything like that but I'm very imaginative and creative) // I know more than one language (I don't consider myself fluent in more than one anymore but yes: English and ASL) // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe (yes, but I do not. my OCD freaks out if I don't follow recipes, it has actively screwed up dishes when I give in to compulsions versus my instinct, sob) // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing (yes, but it also stresses me out) // I can do origami // I prefer movies to TV shows // I can execute a perfect somersault (not anymore, my back would break in half) // I enjoy singing (not well) // I could survive in the wild on my own (I don't think I'm totally incapable but realistically-speaking I'd die pretty quickly) // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends (yes, I LOVE my friends, but unfortunately I am also an introvert with sensory/physical disabilities, social anxiety and a buttload of social trauma so I've had to learn to limit social interactions including social media, texting, etc. otherwise I get super overwhelmed and descend into panic attacks. it's fun! but I do really enjoy spending time with my buddies when I can, they're some of my favorite people in the world!!) // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand (against a wall yeah lol)

RELATIONSHIPS

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year (my entire life, oh woe) // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years (my best friend and I will have known each other for ten years next year, but my oldest and one of my closest friends and I have known each other since preschool, around 24 years) // my parents are together (they're technically still married but they're not together in any other sense, THANK GOD. you all have no idea how much I've hoped this would happen) // I have dated my best friend (lmfao no but it's a running joke that everyone thinks or has thought my best friend and I are dating, since we very first met in college the rumors have been unreal) // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship (with friends!) // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends (it's kinda my thing) // I have made an online friend (this is complicated. I've met many people online who I'm friendly with and who consider me their friend but... I have C-PTSD and trust issues lol. It's hard for me to feel close to people.) // I met up with someone I have met online (not yet!!!)

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise (intentionally and unintentionally) // I enjoy rainy days (sort of? I enjoy them more when I'm out and walking around in them but they mostly make me really lethargic and sometimes make my joint/chronic pain flare up. today is a rainy day and lethargy is hanging around!) // I have slept under the stars (I guess? probably?) // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me (if crickets, absolutely not. birds chirping and singing is one of my favorite sounds ever though. it's the thing I miss most about not living in a city, though sometimes they do make an appearance) // I enjoy the smell of the beach (depends on the beach, but yes) // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms (mostly, yes, but I'm one of those people who gets a pressure headache whenever one is in the distance. I'm a human barometer) // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors (not as much as others do but I do enjoy some good color) // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths (yes, but less and less over the years as walking has become harder) // autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle (and anywhere else, lol hello sleep disorder) // I am the mom friend (absolutely, but I'm slowly letting this go a bit. it's become a bit of an overcompensation for perceived flaws. but it'll always be a part of my personality) // I live by a certain quote (no, but there is a kind of mantra I've come up with to help me during low periods: "I am worth trying for.") // I like the smell of sharpies (yeah but I'm not going around sniffing them) // I am involved in extracurricular activities (does volunteering count?) // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love (complicated. I believe in love - that's basically my entire belief system - but I don't believe in fate. I don't believe in the concept of there being one person out there who will heal all my ills and be a perfect partner and sweep me off my feet. but... I am a romantic at heart and there's a small part of me that hopes that if I ever have a romantic relationship it'll be one and done. regardless of how irrational I know that is. I've literally been a domestic violence preventionist/relationship/sex educator, trust me, I know!) // I make up scenarios to fall asleep (it's basically the only way I can sleep) // I sing in the shower (not really but I do make weird noises and talk to myself!) // I wish I lived in a video game (WHO would want this?? sounds like a Kafkaesque nightmare) // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

I don't have anyone to tag since pretty much everyone I thought of has already been tagged. If you want to do this go for it!!!

[princepestilence]

New Year’s Resolutions -- 2023.

There is so much to look forward to. 

Something I am leaning into and fostering in myself this coming year is choosing to be motivated by excitement, rather than anxiety. I am consciously doing things that are difficult because I am excited and hopeful for the skills I develop by doing so, not because I am afraid of what I’ll miss out on or fail to achieve if I don’t. Trying to look forward to future growth rather than fearing failure. 

I’ve split the resolutions this year into higher priority and lower priority. All of them would be wonderful to achieve (in whatever sense) but part of what I’m trying to learn for 2023 is how to be more discerning with how I spend my time, where I put my energy, and saying no when I’m at capacity. 

Higher priority -- 

finish thesis + hand in + graduate. The graduation part I don’t actually have influence over, since that will depend on the reviewers’ timeframes, but the rest is up to me. I can and will have my PhD before the end of 2023. 

look after my body. I have asked a lot from this body I am for my whole life so far, and truthfully given very little care in return. In 2023, I want to change that relationship into something a lot kinder and more motivated by personal wellbeing than external factors (i.e., how much can I do, how much can I create, what can I give away, so on). There’s several facets here I want to consciously focus on:  - rest. I’ve developed much healthier sleeping habits than ever, and I’m doing better at listening to when I need a break. I want to continue this.  - diet / food habits. Still a work in progress. But I’m beyond tired of punishment for the crime of living, and I’m not interested in being my own enemy anymore. Related, I want to get more in the habit of meal prep + cooking also.  - exercise. I’ve missed it and haven’t made time for it, among everything else that’s happened this past year/s. Regular enjoyable exercise is long overdue as part of my life. 

do art. Something else I’ve missed for the last decade or so, but never made the time to actually reconnect. I know I will need to intentionally make time for art-making in 2023, because if I just go “oh yeah I’ll do this” but don’t make an actual calendar / schedule date with myself, it’ll get washed away by everything else. I’ll make setting up a schedule a priority for January’s reflection after I see how work etc. go.

have fun with fashion. It’s a cyclical thing -- wearing something you love makes you feel confident and good, feeling confident and good makes you want to wear things you love. This got very disrupted for me (as it did for a lot of people, I suspect) with lockdowns and I fell out of the habit of dressing to please myself. I’ve specifically noticed the difference it makes for my mood and general demeanour to wear colours and earrings and keep my nails nice, which are things I drifted away from. Not anymore. 2023 is the year of looking like a Ms. Frizzle’s bisexual wizard nephew.

Lower priority --

celebrate my 30th birthday. wow! Not really a resolution because it’s sort of happening regardless of my actions, but it’s pretty neat. I want to throw a decently big party for it, which will maybe double as a PhD celebration also. Basically just a big celebration about me. You are all invited in spirit if you are not able to make it in person.

read more. I say this all the time but that’s because I mean it all the time. I just don’t lock off time for it and that’s been the big error in my plan, so this year coming I’m going to be smarter and allot time for books and whatnot. 

poetry more often. I missed quite a few of the slams this year but I live so close to the venue now there is really no excuse for missing more in 2023. I’d like to write some new stuff to perform and share as well. I’ve started putting little bits on instagram, which has been nice.  

decorate my room. I am so excited for this, but also most of what I want to put on the walls is art by artists I adore, so it might have to be something that happens gradually as the budget allows. 

share things I like more? I go back and forth on this one, I think mostly out of a long-held flinch response from an autistic childhood. On one hand, I love the things I love and because I love them I want to share them with people, mostly out of my own joy and the chance that perhaps they might find they love it too. On the other hand, there’s always this concerned voice saying that no-one is interested, or it’s annoying, or it’s bragging and/or childish to hold up the things you have made / love / collect / whatever. 

comment / engage with things I like more. Sort of parallel to the above, I want to make a point of leaving positive comments or reviews for the things I’ve enjoyed, which I’m currently terrible at remembering to do. I like that the world is full of people creating things for other people to enjoy, and I want to support that -- whether it’s video-game mods, or fanfiction, or published works, or art, or absolutely whatever. I want explicit gratitude to be part of how I engage with the world and I am making that habit a goal for 2023. 

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[vgperson]

What Did I Do In 2021?

Well.........

----

From around January to February, I worked on [REDACTED]. Hey, I got paid, at least!

In February, The Case Book of Arne: Teil 4 (Interlude) came out. Of course, I translated it alongside the other three last year, so it doesn't especially count. But it came out! So that counts!

In May, I translated Sen's short game GET MOUSE. It's silly.

I did literally nothing new for this release, but let me count LiEat coming to Switch anyway.

In June, we finally saw the release of Your Turn To Die: Chapter 3, Part One, Section B. It's great! Love to see the last part someday. Also in June, Kenshi Yonezu released his single Pale Blue. So as usual, I translated the songs (Pale Blue, Half-Dreaming, Shinigami) and an interview.

I neglected to post about it, but I translated the commercial release Soaring Machinariae, which came out in June. It's okay, I guess, if you want to play a short game with very basic action combat/elemental mechanics/graphics/story.

In July, OSTER project posted the sequel to Friendship (Friendship... 2!), Confession (English captions by me). Good for them! Good for them. Also, as usual, I've been translating her Twitter all year... though I've fallen behind lately and want to fix that soon.

In November, another commercial release I neglected to post about: Absented Age: Squarebound. It's a cool concept, blending action with Mystery-Dungeon-like SRPG mechanics for combat, and a lot was clearly put into it... but also, I personally found it difficult enough that I had trouble even when I cheated sometimes, so.

Lastly, I continued to work on my Petal Crash Japanese fan translation at various points in the year. I know that probably doesn't matter to most people (who knows how many Japanese players have used it, even), but it's fun, and I feel like it has been good practice for actually thinking about how to write in Japanese, since I often don't stop to internalize that when translating it to English. With just Rosalia's scenario to go now, I definitely want to finish it early next year.

----

And that's about everything I publicly did in 2021. Of course, I've been slowly working on all kinds of personal game projects and the like, the number of which may have increased. And I did a bunch of other stuff I can't talk about yet. Oh, and I also did some Spare Parts fanart, and an inexplicable celebration of Petal Crash's first anniversary -

What? Am I forgetting something?

Well, the post isn't called "What I Didn't Do In 2021," now is it?

I couldn't really give you a good explanation why, but I struggled to put aside time to even play TOWER of HANOI for the first half of the year or so. Even after I started, I had a months-long break not touching it before I picked it back up to do the last stretch of the game. To be clear, this was not at all because it was bad - not to add to people's disappointment, but I really liked it, and once I felt I had the time to do so, I was really excited to put my all into translating it - which I finally started doing in September. Over the next two months, I slowly got back into the groove of translating at a decent pace. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to finish before the end of the year, but it would at least be close, and I was still glad to be making progress on a translation like this again. I had literally just gotten up to a key turning point in the story the day Segawa emailed me saying not to translate the game anymore, hoping I "hadn't already started."

So that was demoralizing, to say the least. I'm still not totally sure what I want to do right now, translations-wise. I have numerous games to consider, but some of them... well, let's just say I was picturing TOWER of HANOI as a sort of "crowd-pleaser" after a long time not translating any big entirely-new free games, giving me some "leeway" afterward to do something that I didn't necessarily expect as many people to be into. Does anyone actually think in those terms but me? Maybe not, but apparently I do, so.

At any rate, there are more games in the sea, and I want to translate stuff. Look forward to whatever I decide to do. I promise nothing because promises don't help me actually do things, I hate promises. (- vghime, creator of Libretta, 2021)

Anyway let's hope kouri contacts me for the Ib remake planned for next year.

[mossybank]

DEAR HEAR ME OUT

Getting high with Tate.

That would be interesting

Getting High with Tate Langdon

Tate Langdon x GN!Reader

Headcanons

Warnings: drugs (weed), nsfw mentions (like 3 bullet points)

A/N: my first time writing Tate!... I did not take this very seriously—

I have three distinct ideas on how Tate would be when high, so I've spilt them into three different stages that he enters depending on how much he's smoked

Stage one, when it's just starting to kick in, there's some anxiety and a jumpiness to Tate. He gets pretty sad and depressive to be around, saying many 'i' m fourteen and this is deep' type things

He does though, in this stage, also think he's very smart and has unlocked all the secrets to the universe. He isn't smart, he's a babbling mess and you shouldn't be fooled.

Stage two is pretty stereotypical, laughing at everything and constantly hungry, practically eating out the entire pantry ect

Tate is also really clingy during this stage, often laying all over you either just his legs across yours or straight up just fucking laying on you (hope you don't mind being unable to breathe)

Stage three is perhaps the most interesting because well.. Dude is fucking hornyy

He's hungry here too, just not for food 😏

He'll whimper and rut/grind against you a lot

I think Tates go to for smoking was blunts, which he's really good at rolling, but you bought him a dab pen and that's what he's mostly used since

Speaking of blunts, he used to make cross joints a lot because he thought they'd make him seem cool (which, I mean, they are cool)

I wouldn't trust this man with a bong though, he doesnt use it right and leaves it slobery and no one wants a slobery bong

Once you guys were out of skins and Tate couldn't find his dab pen so he taught you how to make an apple pipe

It was like the scene in ghost, but instead of making pottery you're stabbing an apple with a biro

Midway through the smoking session Tate just took a big ol' bite out the apple too, due to him being in stage 2 it was the funniest fucking thing to him

Overall, he's a decent-ish person to get high with so long as you're not in public (thank god for being stuck in the murder House) otherwise he'd be causing absolute chaos

You'd also most likely have to prepare most things like snacks and water because Tate will 100% forget about that stuff until he's already high and just make a mess trying to aquire it at that point

He does, however, have the best playlists to smoke to

To be added to a taglist, please fill out this form ! Feel free to dm or send an ask for assistance <3

Tags — @kitwalker64 @sallyscigarettes @divineruler @kitwalker02 @tatesimper

[clairecrive]

Hello beautiful person! Do you take requests which ask you to write a second chapter for your writings? If you do, may I ask a second chapter for "Rare"? And if you don't could you please let me know so I can be careful for another time when I ask a request?

I hope this is not something that disturbes or irritates you. I love your writing, it is beautiful and sometimes I read your pieces over and over again. 😁

Thanks for blessing us with your writing. Have a nice day.💕

A/n: First of all anon, thank you so very much for your sweet words! They mean the world to me <3 Also, your request could never irritate me! I love them and I love the fact that you consider me half a decent writer enough to send me your thoughts <3 I'm sorry it took me so long to get around this but I hope you like this and are still around to read it x

I've decided to pair it with a request for juicy time with Eddie. there's no actual smut but it's suggestive let's say.

Warnings: bit of angst, fluff,

Word count: 2.4K

Tags: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner, @for-bebbanburg, @crazyclownchick ( fill in this form to be added to my taglist)

Part 1

TOM HARDY MASTERLIST

You weren't exactly new to heartbreak. You had been a teenager after all but your experience with adult relationships had not been that good either.

You knew that you'd be over Eddie even if it may take you some time. It's true that you had only been dating for a few months but you had really grown attached to him. It was one of the things you hated about yourself: the way you got attached way too soon, way too much.

Especially, in this case, seeing as Eddie hadn't been 100% in it in the beginning you had hoped that the more time you'd spend together, he'd see that you weren't so bad and that he'd grow to care for you. At least a little bit.

Turns out you were wrong.

As much as you hated being wrong, the thing that hurt you the most was that despite your best efforts, Eddie still didn't think you were enough for him. And how could you be when the benchmark was perfect Anne?

You stood no chance. You had been a fool for even trying. And now you were experiencing the burn for your foolishness.

This had happened often enough that you had developed a routine for dealing with heartbreak:

1) crying your heart out and indulging your sadness with whatever helped (mostly comfort food and Friends)

2) enough with indulging, it was time to pick yourself up. No more overeating although you still allowed yourself to cry if you felt like it

3) "I don't need him anyway" phase where you'd make a mental list of how your life was before and after whoever you had broken up with to remind you that they weren't as important as you made them out to be

4)"put yourself out there again" phase where you started going out again with the intention of meeting new people or simply having a good time.

As of this time, you were in phase 3. You noticed that there were some of Eddie's things littering around your apartment. So, you picked up a box and collected them with the intention of returning them to him, effectively closing this chapter. As you did, you made that aforementioned list. This time, with the added reason for your break up, it was a bit easier to remind you why breaking up had been the right decision.

When your hands closed on your favourite hoodie of his though, you couldn't help the pang in your heart as a flood of memories hit you.

You and Eddie doing a Friends marathon every Friday night.

Eddie giving this hoodie when you were sick because he knew how much you liked it.

Eddie taking the hoodie off for a whole other reason almost ripping it...

No.

Shaking your head, you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand.

Enough of that. It was over.

It was only a week later that you finally got the time to come around Eddie's apartment. Sure, you could have called him, he could have come himself to pick them up or you could have dropped them at his job but that would have required you to call him. And recalling how that went last time you tried to reach him you decided you'd spare yourself the humiliation of him not ghosting you again.

Taking a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and knocked on his door.

"Y/n." You were met with a dishevelled Eddie.

He looked like shit but what's new with him. He also looked very surprised to see you at his door and you also couldn't blame it for that. You would have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed.

"Hi, Eddie," you hated your treacherous voice that wobbled when you spoke. Clearing your voice, you tried again.

"Sorry to come here unannounced. I've found some of your stuff in my apartment and I thought you'd like to have them back." You explained as you handed him the box, his eyes taking it in for the first time.

"Oh," he paused as he considered your words. Was that disappointment in his voice? "Thank you, y/n. You shouldn't have." He smiled weakly as he took the box from you, your fingers touching briefly.

"It's not a problem, Eddie. I was just passing by anyway." You and Eddie actually lived far from each other. The truth is that there was no reason for you to be in this part of town if it wasn't for him. Eddie knew that but he was kind enough not to point that out.

He just nodded, accepting your words as he held the box close to his chest.

You awkwardly stared at each other for a while, you didn't know what to say but neither of you wanted to end this exchange quite yet. When you felt that you had been standing like a fool in front of your ex's door, you went to leave but Eddie beat you to it.

"So how have you been?" Your first reaction was to scoff at this attempt of small talk. Neither of you was very good at it. And truthfully, it was rich coming from someone who had not made any effort to keep in contact with you even before your breakup.

The scroll of your shoulders was the only answer Eddie got. You weren't in the mood to pretend nor did you want him to know how you were still suffering for him.

"I should ask that to you." You reverted the question to him. He really didn't look well.

"yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks," he confessed scratching the back of his head.

"That, I don't find it hard to believe," you hummed as your eyes took him in, really took him in since you knocked at his door. You could also see behind him that his apartment was a mess.

"Yeah, don't have to worry about me though. I'm fine."

"Of course." You nodded at his dismissal, remembering harshly the situation you were in."Well, I'm going to go now. Take care." Cold but still polite you turn around, ready to put this -Eddie and this exchange- behind you.

"Y/n, wait!" he called when you were about to climb down the staircase. "Do you want to have a drink or something?" Stay for a while? he meant but didn't dare to say.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Eddie." You called over your shoulder, hand still on the railing.

"Please, I owe you an explanation." You didn't know if it was the desperate note in his voice or the fact that he really looked like shit but you turned around almost convinced.

"Don't you think it's too late for that, Eddie?"

"Maybe it won't change anything between us but you deserve to know." You knew Eddie and you knew how much he cared about transparency and honesty. This may not mean that you were going to get back together but he was right, you deserved an explanation.

"Okay," you agreed as you walked back and then into his apartment. Eddie closed the door behind him and set the box he was still holding down behind the coat hanger.

The sneak peek you had before was definitely right: Eddie's apartment was even messier than usual.

"Why does it look like a tornado hit your home?" You couldnìt help but point out. You knew Eddie wasn't that bothered by tidiness but this too much even by his standards.

"That would be my fault," a new voice answered you.

At first, you didn't register the difference in tone or accent even though you should have had because Eddieìs voice wasnìt that low or raspy. But then a black tendril entered your vision field catching your attention making you turning your head to better inspect it.

What.the.fuck??

"Eddie?" You asked perplexed, eyes fixed on this thing? even if you were addressing Eddie.

"Y/n meet Venom, Venom meet y/n." He gestured awkwardly with his hands.

"It's so nice to meet you, Eddie's always thinking about you, you know? It's a bit annoying." this time the voice didn't come from a tendril but a face. A fucking alien face with long sharp teeth and wide white eyes.

His words went straight over your head. How the fuck was this true? What were you even seeing? Did this thing come from Eddie's body??

"Fuck, I know I'm heartbroken but now I'm even seeing things?"

"Y/n," Eddie tried to get your attention. You thought you had only thought that but apparently, you had spoken the words. "You're not seeing things, this is part of the explanation I owe you."

"I think it's better if you sit," he said motioning to his couch when you did nothing but stare at Venom. Prompting by Eddie though, you sat down and listened as he spoke.

He told you everything. About Carton Drake about his project with aliens, about Venom and their rather troubled relationship. He even explained how Anne had got involved and how she and Danny had helped him.

It was definitely a lot to take in. But somehow, the thought that he could be lying to you never crossed your mind. The proof was right in front of you, wasn't it? Venom, as he had introduced himself, stood next to Eddie while he spoke. It had never spoken again and you were inwardly thankful for that. That he was giving you space to digest all of this.

"Why didn't you tell me when you came around that day, Eddie?" You asked once you thought you had wrapped your head around it.

"I didn't want you to drag you into this mess," he said with a shrug, head cast down he didn't meet your eyes.

You didn't know how you felt about all of this yet but you nodded anyway. Well, there was nothing you could do anymore, could you? He had already taken care of everything on his own and it wasn't like you had any right to worry about him anymore.

"Thank you for explaining, Eddie. I appreciate your honesty." Did this change anything for you?

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough of if Anne meant more to me than you did. That's not true but I didn't know how to tell you that without telling you what was happening." He nervously fiddled with his fingers without meeting your eyes.

You could see his point now that you knew what happened. Still, it hurt you that he decided to just keep you out of it without a word. He could have at least told you that something was going on, that he didn't or couldn't tell you anything - not right now. You would have understood and given him space. Did he really act like this to keep you safe or was it a way to dismiss you?

"I don't know if this changes things, Eddie. You still turned up to her when a major life-threatening event happened. I think this tells me everything that I need to know." You point out after a while, eyes fixed on the end of your shoes.

"She has been involved from the moment we broke up, Y/n. Hell, this was the reason we broke up in the first place." Eddie's head snapped up at your words. He looked surprised at your words like he couldn't believe that you thought Anne's involvement had been something he had actively sought out.

"That may as well be true, Eddie but still, you didn't tell me even after everything settled down. If I hadn't come around to give you your stuff I still would be none the wiser."

"I was afraid, y/n. How could I come back to you after how much I had hurt you? 'Sorry if I went m.i.a. for a while, I was infected with a parasite who knows permanently with me?' Come on, y/n, I wouldn't take me back either." Now upset, Eddie started to gesticulate frantically to prove his point. His eyes flickered between yours, he leaned toward you, his hands a touch away from yours as if he wanted to touch you but was preventing himself from doing so.

"I'm not saying I would have believed you straight away but still- aliens are way better than self-loathing you know?" You scoff at him- why was he so upset? He wasn't the one who had been beating himself up since that fight for being a worthless piece of shit, was he?

"I know I've never done a good job at showing you but I do care about you. Deeply." Almost as if he couldn't bear to not be touching you any longer, Eddie now reached for your hands. His hold on them tightening as he spoke the words.

You looked at him for a moment. Aside from that fight, your relationship with him had been good. The start wasn't promising, seeing as he was still taken by Anne but Eddie had treated you good. He was attentive and caring in his own way. Looking back to it now, you realized that the period where you started feeling him pulling back from you was the time when this whole alien thing had started.

But now you had settled this, right? So, could this mean...

"If I give you one more chance to show you," you spoke tentatively, enthralled by the twinkle in his eyes, "do you promise me to be fully transparent with me this time around?"

"What? Why would you do that?" He looked shocked but his eyes were hopeful.

"Are you trying to talk me out of it, Eddie?" You challenged him, arching an eyebrow.

"Like hell I am." He scoffed, a smile on his lips. "Nono, of course I do. I swear, y/n. You'll never feel like you don't matter to me again."

"Good." You gave him a small smile at the gobsmacked expression on his face. Oh, Eddie...

He does nothing but stares at you for a while. Like he hadn't seen you in a while and now that you were in front of him, he wanted to commit to his memory every little detail of your face.

"So," you said after a while, "do you plan to stare at me or would you like to get a head start on your promise?" you provoke him with a suggestive tone.

Eddie's mouth fell a little at that, Venom said something to him but you didn't understand him. Shaking his head, Eddie smirks at you.

"I would like nothing more." And with that, Eddie's lips are on yours making up for the lost time.

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recommendations 2021: Week 12 & 13 | March 14th – March 27th

Welcome to weeks 12 & 13 of my recommendations, if you would like to be featured on a future list, I follow the hashtag #VelvetCardiganBucky, message me, tag me in your future works, or reblog this post and link to your story, one-shot, Masterlist, writing challenge, etc.

Be aware some if not most stories and writers on this list are meant to be consumed by an audience of those 18+. My blog is also an 18+ blog.

✨Page breaks are made @firefly-graphics✨

«Last Week

Week 14»

My Masterlist

My Fic Rec List of Mafia/Mob Bucky/Sebastian & Steve/Chris/Andy

Stuff I Posted This Week:

Steve + Bey = 4Ever » Steve Rogers and Bey carved places in each other’s hearts, that no one else could ever replace.

I Hear A Symphony » Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Reader — Reader plays an important song to her for Bucky.

—Formerly The Winter Soldier » “I’m no longer the winter soldier, my name is James Bucky Barnes & you're part of my effort to make amends.”

Lee Bodecker

(Mini) Series:

*Give In by @not-a-great-writer » soft!dark!Lee Bodecker x shy!Reader — She didn’t think she was anything special. So when the intimidating Sheriff takes an interest in her, she can’t help but feel a little unsettled. Her boring life is about to get a little interesting. | This story has to be one of my all time series I’ve ever read, and I know I will weep when it’s over. The chapters are decently sized, you have angst, fluff and smut. I couldn’t ask for more, it’s simply a masterpiece.

Deadbeat Pt. 9 by @the-witty-pen-name » Lee Bodecker x F!Reader — You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room. | Cole thank you for feeding my current Lee Bodecker obsession after I watched The Devil All The Time, for the time. This story is good and I love soft!Lee, and one where no one dies. At least I hope no one dies...

SamBucky

One-Shots:

Loving You Is Cherry Pie by @river-soul » Sam Wilson x Reader x Bucky Barnes — When Sam Wilson, one of your regulars at the cafe finally asks you out, you’re ecstatic until he tells you he wants his friend to join. When you meet Bucky, you decide it might be worth your while after all. [Allusions to stalking, exhibitionism and explicit sex, 18+] | There is just not enough SamBuck stories out there and we have @river-soul to thank for feeding our love for the boys and giving us some good smut, especially to tide us over till Friday.

Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM by @callmeluna » Sam Wilson x Reader x Bucky Barnes — You are admittedly a handful when you’ve had a few drinks in you. Luckily, your partners Sam and Bucky are more than up for the challenge… maybe. | If you are looking for something to make you laugh, might I suggest reading this? The whole time as I read this I couldn’t get the huge smile off my face, it was that good.

Bucky Barnes

Drabbles:

Matching by @heli0s-writes » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Reader and Bucky are “matchy matchy,” with their belly button rings. | This is adorable as well as very funny.

One-Shots:

Smooth Criminal by @bestofbucky » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Based on a dream @velvetcardiganbucky had. You’re parents told you to never give rides to strangers, but when you notice Bucky Barnes trying to break into your car, you know some strangers aren’t so bad. | Jenny did my dream justice! I honestly couldn’t have asked for anything better.

Don’t Over Do It by @whisperlullaby » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your boyfriend is an asshole. Bucky reminds you that you are perfect the way you are. | I can’t describe this anyway other than perfect, that I wish I had a Bucky like this there for me. Trust me you’ll love the ending.

Coming Home to You by @angrythingstarlight » Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your Biker boyfriend is finally home and he’s going to show you how much he missed you. With every inch he has. And you’re going to remember how much he loves you. | It’s not very often you read something that has an alternate ending and when you do you find yourself loving both endings. Both endings are hot, the smut is great, again who couldn’t love Biker!Bucky?

Won’t Let You Go by @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay » Mob!Bucky Barnes x OFC!Kori — Kori met Bucky in one of his clubs, out to get shit-faced with a couple of friends to forget about her worries and maybe take home a guy to further rid herself of her numerous frustrations. Little did she know that the one-night stand with Bucky would turn into so much more than that. | Thank you so much for entering my writing challenge, it means so much. This one-shot is so good, it hit me right the feels and left me falling in love with Kori and Bucky.

Show Me How To Ride by @angrythingstarlight » Beefy Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — You’ve been keeping a secret from your biker boyfriend. He is going to get the information out of you one way or the other. | It’s hot and it makes you realize just how much you realize just how much you love Biker!Bucky.

Bubble Baths by @floatingpetals » Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern AU) — Even your boyfriend Bucky, needs to wind down at the end of a stressful with a bubble bath, but he doesn’t want to do it alone. | Okay, so my summary of this sucks but let me just say this is fluffy and smutty all at once. I wish I had Bucky to take a bubbly bath with.

Bad Boy!Bucky Barnes x Shy!Reader by @gagmebucky — in which there’s nowhere to sit and bucky offers his lap—then, subsequently, his cock. (bad boy!bucky x shy!reader, dirty talk, exhibitionism and voyeurism, cockwarming, unprotected sex.) | *chugs water* yeah is it a little hot in here? I probably would have failed class if Bucky had been in my class along with Steve, I wouldn’t have known who to stare at, forget learning the material.

**Greater Good by @fuel-joy » Bucky Barnes x Reader — There is a cure for the zombie outbreak but is it worth the cost. | Grab your tissues, because you are going to need them. Thanks darling for entering my writing challenge and making me feel so many feels with this one.

(Mini) Series:

A Tender Heart ♥️ Pt. 2 by @river-soul » Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader — You’ve been sweet on Bucky since you started working at the compound six months ago. Normally quiet and mild mannered, an unexpired fight with a coworker brings Bucky into your orbit. [A/B/O dynamics, brief mention of bullying and fluff] | If anyone can pull at your heartstrings it’s @river-soul making the beginning of this series look so promising and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

Run To You 🪙 Pt. 10 🪙 Pt. 11 🪙 Pt. 12 by @bestofbucky » Mob!Bucky Barnes x Bodyguard!Reader — Mob boss Bucky Barnes hires you to be his bodyguard. | Jenny left me at the edge of my seat, making this such an amazing story, I always look forward to her updates, and so sad that there is only 1 chapter left.

Better than Working sequel to This by @angrythingstarlight » Beefy Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Beefy Biker Bucky shows you all the benefits of working from home. In fact what he has for you is so much better than work. | Sometimes you just need to read something hot to lift your spirits, let this do that.

Stucky

One-Shots:

*Tell Me What You Want by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Steve Rogers x Reader; Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your mob boyfriend, is none other than Steve Rogers and he is willing to get you whatever you wanted, all you have to do is ask. And be careful what you ask for because he’s going to give it to you over and over again. | This is so hot that I highly recommend not reading this anywhere out in public. The smut in this is just *chefs kiss*

(Mini) Series:

Miracle Pt. 2 🥀 Pt. 1 by @heavenhatesme » Soft!Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader; Soft!Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader — When infertility threatens mankind with extinction and there hasn’t been a baby for almost 18 years, what happens when two certain super soldiers fall for the same woman and accidentally impregnate her? | It’s not tagged as dark, sorry to the writer I tagged it that please forgive me? But I just want to tell everyone heed the tags. I do look forward to reading what happens next. The smut in this is great!

Invisible Ink by @navybrat817 » Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers — The owners of the Howling Commandos Tattoo Parlor want to make you their best girl. | I love the idea of tattoo’d Bucky and Steve, but that's because I have a weakness for tattoo’s. So this series is just right up my alley, and the start of it is so good that I know it’s good to be a great one!

Steve Rogers

Drabbles:

Chocolate Milk & Dino Nuggets by @nony-bear » Steve Rogers x Reader — Daddy Steve helps make his little girl feel better after a long week. DDLG THEMES | Had me wishing I had a Steve to make me Dino nuggets after a long day at work. It’s precious folks.

Prompt 4K Drabble Challenge by @sweeterthanthis » Steve Rogers x Reader — “Show me how deep you can take it.” | You’re going to need an ice cold bath after this one.

One-Shots:

A Cruel Tide by @writerwrites » Nomad!Steve Rogers x Reader — A lost hero thinks she needs saving, but this divorcée’s needs were different, fleeting, and then full of attachment. Can they overcome the burdens on their shoulders and keep their word? | Sometimes you want to wrap the reader and Steve in a blanket and protect them while enjoying the smut. This gave me that and more.

Untitled Request by @navybrat817 » Steve Rogers x Reader — Sending Steve a naughty photo while he’s in a meeting leads to punishment that will remind you to never do it again, right? | Hi, I’m just going to drench myself in ice cold water. ✌🏻

(Mini) Series:

*Control Pt. 3 🔐 Pt. 1 🔐 Pt. 2 by @river-soul » dark!Steve Rogers x Reader — When a probationary agent asks you out on a date you learn Steve’s intentions for you have evolved. He doesn’t take kindly to someone touching what’s his. [Noncon, physical violence (biting), grooming behavior and explicit sex, 18+] | Definitely one of my favorite series to read on Tumblr so far, you know it’s dark, and the smut is great. I always look forward to the updates on this one.

*Lipstick and Crayons 🖍 Ch. 4 by @oneoftheprettynerds » Dark Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader — Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob. | This story always gets my heart a racing and leaves you with questions as to what is going to happen next. I truly love it and Soft!Dad while being Angry!Mob boss Steve all at the same time, this story just has it all for me.

This Is My Unbecoming by @river-soul » Werewolf!Steve Rogers x Witch!Reader — When the Hydra pack graduates from turning humans to swell their ranks to kidnapping and murdering witches to consolidate power, Steve knows he needs to strike. He makes a deal with a powerful coven leader for a witch of his own in exchange for destroying the rogue pack. [Magical realism, biting, blood, slightly dubious consent and explicit sex, 18+] | Okay this is so good and I would like to thank the teenage mind of @river-soul for creating this! Like seriously thank you. I look forward to reading more!

It’s been a long, long time ☕️ Ch.1 by @mostly-marvel-musings » Steve Rogers x Reader — Steve Rogers – a man who has lost too much finds himself blending into the crowd in attempts to forget his past but revisits familiar places and spends days sketching his heart out. A rainy evening leads him to find shelter in your coffee shop. Is having meaningful conversations over endless cups of coffee with a stranger the key to unlocking a heart that’s lost the will to love? | The prologue tore my heart out, it truly did but the first chapter just puts the pieces back together. I really love this and I’m honestly looking forward to reading what happens next. I can’t thank you enough for entering my writing challenge!

*Not A Team Part: 1 by @shedobewritingalittle » Steve Rogers x Reader — The Reader tries to live a normal life, but her memories won’t leave her alone. Rhodey comes to visit the reader with a proposition. | There aren't a lot of stories out there that have walk on parts with Rhodey in it and I didn’t know how much I missed out on having him in stories till I read this. This was just so well written and the characterization of Rhodey was perfect, how Peyton got the emotions written across, it’s perfect. Read this and have some tissues on hand. I will always love it.

Andy Barber

One-Shots:

Closing Arguments by @river-soul » Andy Barber x Reader — Andy and you are going out for the first time since your daughter’s birth. Anxious about leaving her behind Andy does his best to make you feel better. [Fluff with explicit sex (f recieving), 18+] | So fluffy and sweet!

Keep the Heat by @ozarkthedog » Andy Barber x Reader — Andy fucks you in the coat. | Semi-Short and the smut is oh so good.

(Mini) Series:

Homebound 🏡 Ch. 1 by @fuel-joy » Dark!Andy Barber x Reader — You witness your neighbor kill his wife. You try to gather evidence all from the comfort of your home. | Prepare to be at the edge of your seat with this one, it’s just that good.

One Night by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor » Dark!Andy Barber x Reader — One night changes your entire life. | This is dark and exciting, with tons of angst in it. I love a real good dark!Andy fic and this is it.

Chris Evans

One-Shots:

Mirrors by @cherrychris » Chris Evans x Reader — “wanna know what i see? me owning you and this sweet little pussy” | Sometimes you read things that just blow your mind and this was one of those things.

*Work Party by @harrylovex » Chris Evans x Reader — you get drunk at a work party and chris looks after you… | This is really adorable and probably one of my favorite fluffy Chris Evans one-shots I’ve ever read.

Misc.

One-Shots:

An Act of Kindness by @stargazingfangirl18 » Jake Jensen x Female!Reader — A simple act of kindness seals your fate. | I would like to simply start of by saying that this was my first Jake Jensen fanfiction in years, or maybe my first one, and all I could was where have I been hiding from him? So good and glad I read this and so will you!

*Come Back Safe by @celestialbarnes » Sam Wilson x Reader — based on tfatws, you find out sam’s leaving for a mission, afraid to lose the man you love, you confront him, and he promises you to come back. | So fluffy you’ll want to cuddle it under a blanket fort and wish under a thousand starry night skies for it to come true.

(Mini) Series:

Fiery Friends Pt. 3 🔥 Pt. 4 by @wanderinglunarnights » Johnny Storm x OFC!Sophia Jones — Johnny invites his best friend Sophia to stay with him in his penthouse during quarantine. | I really like this story, because I find myself mentally rooting for Sophia and Johnny, also going you go girl. Looking forward to what is next for this duo.

Ensnared Pt. 2 🔗 Pt. 1 by @stargazingfangirl18 » Ransom Drysdale x Female!Reader; minor Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x Reader — Robert preps you for the handoff to the smooth talking stranger who bought you, but before he lets you go, he wants to have a little fun first. | So good and hot. Honestly I look forward to hopefully finding out what happens between the reader and Ransom.

Made With Love by @ayybtch » Wanda Maximoff x f!Reader + Friends to Lovers — Wanda is an excellent cook but a terrible baker. A rough day leads her to the bakery in the Avengers compound where she meets you, the lead baker. After a dismal attempt at making chocolate chip cookies, you volunteer to help Wanda learn how to bake. Your friendship grows stronger with each successful recipe until the two of you stumble into something even sweeter than baked goods. | This story will constantly have you smiling, sure it’s only 3 chapters so far, but I started off reading it in a bad mood but by the 3rd chapter I was just so sappy and happy. I can’t wait for more!

Without Me by CuttingMyFingersOff » Legolas x OFC!Braigeth — Braigeth was an elf who has nothing but memories of Legolas to help her survive being imprisoned in the walls of Orthanc. That is, until she is able to escape and reunite with him. | I’ve been invested in this since my friend came forward to me with the idea for this story and now that it’s being written, I couldn’t be more excited to read it. I need more Lord of the Rings in my life if I’m being honest.

Forever and Ever More by @syntheticavenger » Dark Alpha!Ransom Drysdale x Omega!Reader — Ransom Drysdale may be Boston’s most eligible Alpha but he has his eyes set on you. With his inheritance hanging in the balance, he won’t take no for an answer, whether you like him or not. | Prepared to go on a Hawaiian EMOTIONAL roller coaster with this story, there are so many times in this story you find yourself picking your jaw up off the floor. I’ve linked you to chapter 9, which has all the previous chapters, listed.

Is A Shout Out To My...

@bluemusickid in celebration of 700 followers is hosting a Holi Celebration Writing Challenge, that is due April 30th, but extension can be given. Any Marvel or MCU characters can be used in addition to Chris Evans and his characters. The theme is Holi and its colors, for better explanation visit the link provided.

@whisperlullaby in celebration of 700 followers is hosting a 700 Followers Challenge, your entries will be due May 5th. The theme is kinks, no RPF, DDLG/MMLG, bathroom related , incest, or under age kinks. This is MCU characters, Sebastian Stan, and Chris Evans characters x OFC or Reader. For more information visit the link provided. Congrats Becca on the 700 followers you deserve it hun!

@stargazingfangirl18 in celebration of 5K followers is hosting a Soft Dark Writing Challenge, which is due May 31st. Don’t let the name fool you, your writing can be soft, dark, or soft!dark, or headcanons about any Chris character. 500 word minimum with no max, but new or be read as a stand alone piece. For more information visit the link provided and be sure to congratulate Siri on her 5K milestone!

@cloudystevie in celebration of 4K followers is hosting a Mob!AU Writing Challenge, that is due on May 30th. You can use Chris Evans and any of his characters he’s played before, as well as make it NSFW or SFW. To learn more about it please visit the link below. Also congratulations Jasmeen on the 4K followers! 💗

[jaeminlore]

Landslide | Mark Lee

summary: time makes you bolder. even children get older, and i’m getting older too.

words: 7.1k+

category: teacher!mark, single parent!reader, fem!presenting!reader, graham is the sweetest kid, mark is that teacher that lets kids pick earthworms during recess, friends to lovers, mark’s apartment is flooded so now he has to live in domestic bliss with his secret crush oh nooooo

warnings: talk of absent fathers

author note: it’s my birthday tomorrow so i wanted to give u all a present for supporting me for so long!! here’s to you <3 (cross-posted on /honklore)

Mark helps one of his kids press their palms onto the wall. When they release their palm, pink paint remains, making a sort of leaf to the tree branches painted onto the wall.

“Now write your name,” Mark advises another kid, whose orange paint had already dried.

“G-R-A-H-A-M,” the boy writes out with a large permanent marker. “Can I take a picture? For my mom?”

All the rest of the children begin to shout their agreements, also wanting to bring home a picture for their parents. Mark grabs his yellow Polaroid camera and takes a picture of each handprint.

He keeps all of the pictures in the chest pocket of his denim jacket. “Okay, guys— to the sink! Whoever has the cleanest hands gets to help me pass out snacks!”

“Why are we having snack time so early?” It’s Graham that asks, the little one always eager to be around Mark.

Mark ignores the boy’s paint covered hands poking at his clean jacket, and answers him as politely as he can. “Mr. Lee forgot his lesson plans today, so we’re going to watch a movie instead.”

“A movie?” Graham’s eyes widen.

“Yep,” Mark giggles. He crouches down to Graham’s level and whispers, “You wanna pick it?”

“Nature Nut!” Graham cheers almost immediately, causing Mark to wince.

Ah, yes, the wonderful little DVDs of a lonesome man teaching the watcher about bugs and weird types of slugs. Mark actually has the entire collection, and Graham happens to adore them just as much as Mark did when he was a kid.

“Alright, go wash your hands and I’ll get it started.”

It’s a little girl named Hana who cleans her hands the best, so she passes out organic fruit gummies to everyone while Mark puts in the DVD.

While they watch the video, Mark checks his text messages.

There’s one from Taeyong: “I’ve already got Haechan on the couch. Sorry, man. You can have the floor, but it’s not gonna be comfy :(“

Right. Mark forgot that Haechan lives in the same complex as him. His apartment is probably just as flooded as Mark’s is. Now if the landlord would just answer his calls and help him... maybe this situation wouldn’t be so stressful.

Mark didn’t forget his lesson plans; they’re just submerged in his bedroom with everything else Mark has left lying on his carpet. And maybe it’s his fault for not buying more storage bins, but a studio apartment can only hold so much stuff.

Serves Mark right for doing his lesson plans at home instead of at the school like most of his fellow kindergarten teachers.

He lets out a quiet sigh, careful not to disturb the children. He only has a short list of friends left to ask, and while he doesn’t think they’ll mind him asking, he really hates to put anyone in that position.

Besides, most of his friends have roommates or significant others and Mark doesn’t want to ruin their routine. He’d hate to intrude. And he could always sleep in his car for a few days, but the amount of stuff he had to pack because of the flooding has barred any chance of a good night’s sleep.

The video ends, and Mark gets the kids seated with coloring pages until their parents arrive.

One by one, he I.Ds the parents and tells the kids goodbye, helping them put on their coats and take home whatever library book they picked out earlier.

Finally, there’s only one kid left, and Mark is a bit embarrassed of his hyper-awareness to Graham. It’s not even his fault, really. Graham just has a beautiful mom, who happens to be Mark’s beautiful friend, and sometimes Mark gets eager to see you during pickup time.

Whatever. It’s no big deal.

The kindergartener already has his coat on. His curly brown hair is almost unruly as he continues to work on his coloring sheet.

Mark pulls at the hem of his sage sweater sleeves and wonders if his hair looks okay. Maybe he should invest in a little desk mirror; or maybe that’s vain.

“Hey, Mark! Sorry I’m late!” You rush in, holding on to your leather messenger bag. You fix your glasses before they fall off the bridge of your nose, and Mark is so focused on the movement that he almost forgets about your child.

Until said child is scolding his mother. “Mom! You have to call him Mr. Lee! It’s rude to call him Mark!”

“Your mom is an adult,” Mark reminds Graham (as soon as he finds his voice.) “Since she isn’t a student, it’s okay for her to call me Mark.”

Graham pinches his lips together, and then shrugs. “Fine. Mom, we watched Nature Nut today.” He runs up to you and wraps his arm around your middle. “Can we go to the park and look for slugs?”

“Sure,” you giggle. “But we need to get home soon, okay, Bud? I have to make dinner and then we have to clean up the mess we made last night.”

Graham turns to Mark and smiles naughtily, like the trickster he often is. “Mom said I could tear up her papers last night. She said it’s There-pee.”

“Ther-a-py,” you emphasize for the five-year-old.

Mark studies your face, and he can tell that you seem a little more stressed than usual. “Therapy, huh?”

You smile sheepishly. “Well, when your son catches you tearing up old love notes, you have to let him in on the fun, right?”

“You are a team,” Mark acknowledges. He wants to ask more; wants to dig into your heart and extract whatever is hurting you, but your son is standing between the two of you, waiting for him to say goodbye. Mark clears his throat and picks at his sweater again. “Anyways, uh, text me tonight? Let me know you two got home safe. And, I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” you breathe. You smile at him and then take Graham’s hand. “Thanks, Mark. I’ll text you.”

Mark spends the night at a motel down the road. He texts a few of his friends and hopes for good news in the morning, or at least a confirmation from his landlord.

When you text him, a little selfie of you and Graham, holding up what looks like microwaved s’mores, his heart grows fond, and he forgets about his own problems for a moment.

-

Life has never been very easy for you. From the get-go, you have always been destined to fail, growing up with an absent father and an overworked mother. With a dead-end dream like yours (writing, of all things), it’s no wonder you clung to what little breaths of freedom you had.

He was handsome and bold, with a carefree smile and brown eyes that mirrored the sun. The lead singer of a band, with a voice like chimes. And you fell just as hard as one of your many protagonists. Perhaps the mistake always lay in the fact that you put too much fantasy into reality. You have always romanticized the littlest things, and that comes back to bite you more often than not.

You never expected one: to get pregnant your senior year of high school, and two: have to go through it alone.

Of course, most people you come to love leave eventually. It’s something you have always remembered; something that sticks in the back of your brain like gum to the bottom of your child’s Spider-man skechers.

Graham is the only constant in your life. Though you’ve been blessed with a decent job editing for a webazine company, and you can work from home more often than not, Graham is the real thing that keeps you alive.

He’s the most precious boy, with brown curls and big brown eyes. He favors his father, and though that should deter you, it reminds you of innocent days, and it gives a new meaning to brown eyes. Graham is not his father, and he never was.

Graham certainly got his love of learning from you. Though he likes science more than writing, you adore how eager he is to always get to school. It helps that Mark is his teacher.

Mark’s been your friend since freshman year of highschool, when the two of you both took the same creative writing class the local university offered. Though the two of you had differing end goals, you often studied together and encouraged each other. He was there when you found out you were pregnant, and he was there when you found out you’d be raising your child alone.

Now life comes full circle, and you see him twice a day. You could go out on a limb and say he brightens up most mornings, but you would still give that slot to your son.

Mark is standing at the doorway now, greeting all of his students and helping them take off their book bags and coats. He’s wearing monochrome today: red pants, a red sweater, and red shoes.

Graham lights up almost immediately, and you are thankful today that you decided to dress Graham in his red t-shirt. “Mom! We match!”

“I know,” you grin, squeezing his hand.

Mark glances at Graham, and then you. His cheeks showcase that same pink hue they always do, and while it should clash with his red garments, it doesn’t. “Hey, Mark.”

“Hey,” he grins, cheeks full at the sight of you two.

Graham spreads his arms and waits for Mark to help him take off his jacket. “Do you see that we match, Mr. Lee?”

“Yo, that’s awesome, Little Man!” Mark gives Graham a fist bump that seems to appease him, and you wait for Graham to run to his friends before addressing Mark.

“How have you been?”

Mark sighs. He brushes his hair away from his eyes. “Okay. My- uh- my studio apartment flooded so I’m staying at a motel until my landlord can get me estimates on when I can come back home.”

“That sucks,” you frown. “You know, if you need a place to stay, I have a pullout couch in my office. And obviously, Graham wouldn’t mind.”

Mark pales. “Are you serious? I didn’t mean to suggest anything, Like I know you work from home and you need your office.”

“And you’ll be at school until three,” you say. “I’ll work then. C’mon, Mark. I don’t like knowing one of my friends has no place to stay.”

Mark bites his bottom lip and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll drive over after I check out of the motel.”

“Great!” You smile. “I’ll order pizza.”

-

"Graham, clean your room," you say, struggling to push your desk against your office wall. "We're going to have a guest for a few weeks."

"Mom," Graham whines, "They aren't going to look in my room."

You begin to take the cushions out of the spare couch to start setting up the pull-out bed. "Mr. Lee is coming over, Graham.  Don't you want to show him your collections?"

Graham's brown eyes grow wide. "Mr. Lee? You didn't tell me he was coming!"

"He's going to be staying with us for a little bit, okay? So I need you to be on your best behavior."

“Can I show him my worms?” Graham asks, alluding to the compost bin in the small backyard of your townhouse.

“Yes,” you say, thankful that he isn’t putting up much of a fight toward cleaning. You’re also thankful he isn’t asking any questions, as Graham always seems to have a few at the top of his tongue.

Graham cleans up his room quickly. You know for a fact that he’s just shoved all of his toys under his bed, but it’s enough until the weekend, when you’ll have more time to help him organize.

The little guy hoards rocks like no one’s business. You curse the day Mark decided to teach the kids about geodes.

“Wanna help me make up Mr. Lee’s room?” You half-yell, while grabbing spare bedding out of your linen closet.

Graham’s little footsteps are heard before he answers, and soon he’s at your hip with a quick, “He can have my Frozen pillowcase!”

You hesitate to tell Graham that his Frozen pillowcase is currently on one of your pillows, and you can’t give your guest a dirty pillowcase. “That one is in the wash, Buddy. Why don’t we give him your Spider-Man one?”

“So he matches my pajamas!” Graham is easily pleased, and he even takes one of his stuffed bears to add to Mark’s made-up bed. (“So he doesn’t get scared at night.”)

By the time the pizza arrives, Mark is just behind, so you keep Graham busy with a slice of cheese and a glass of diet pepsi (only half of a can, and only because it’s a special occasion) while the two of you bring in Mark’s stuff.

He surprisingly didn’t bring much, and when you ask about it, he grimaces. “My studio is pretty small so a lot of my stuff was on the ground and got mildewed. Other stuff was in bins so I just left it there. I only need clothes and my lesson plans, anyway.”

“Well, here’s the desk and bed. It’s not much, but there’s a lock on the door in case Graham ever gets too inquisitive — bless him — and curtains so the stupidly bright sun won’t wake you too early.”

“Those both sound like personal experiences, Y/n,” Mark teases. He takes off his jacket and throws it on the bed. “Yo! Spider-Man?”

“Graham picked it out,” you say. “He also relinquished one of his bears to keep you safe in the middle of the night. His words, not mine.”

“He’s so cute,” Mark mentions offhandedly. The fondness in his tone takes you back a bit. Not because the phrase isn’t true, it’s just that most people find your son annoying before they find him endearing. The change of tone is nice.

“He is,” you say. “And he’s dying to show you his room after we eat dinner.”

Mark gives you that same lopsided smile he often had in high school. Part of your brain shifts to his personal life, and you wonder why Mark himself isn’t in a romantic relationship. Not that he has to be, but the both of you are getting older, and Mark has always been one to express a fondness for having his own family one day. Maybe he just hasn’t found the right person.

It isn’t until Graham is peacefully in bed — after a very chaotic reading of Goodnight Moon by yours truly, and an argument that Mr. Lee cannot, in fact, sleep in the same room as him — that you actually have a chance to show Mark around the house.

“Here’s the guest bathroom. Graham almost always uses the bathroom in my room because he likes looking at the big tub. He will beg you to play with him, but if you’re busy don’t feel guilty telling him no. He knows what no means and he’s good about playing by himself.”

Mark giggles. “Okay. I don’t mind playing with him, though.“

You show him around the kitchen, where you left little spaces for him in the pantry. You show him the garbage bags and the T.V. settings and the list of compostable ingredients. “And also, please come and go as you please. Like, I completely understand that you’re here temporarily and you aren’t a babysitter or anything like that. I don’t expect you to be in charge of Graham any time outside of school.”

Mark blinks. “But if you ever need time away, you can ask me. I don’t mind babysitting.”

“I know,” you smile. “But Graham is my kid. I don’t need time away from him.”

You’re lying. Mark knows it. You’ve been in this single parenting thing for five years and you aren’t about to reach out for help now.

“Anyways, if you have any questions just ring me or ask me,” you say. “I’ve got to get to bed. Goodnight.”

“Thanks, Y/n.”

-

Mark thinks it’s sweet the way Graham insists on making his own breakfast.

You’re already up when Mark gets out of his (temporary) bedroom with his clothes tucked under his arm. You’re busy arguing with Graham. “You can’t fry your own omelette for the last time.”

Mark quirks an eyebrow at your exasperated face. You look stressed beyond belief, even though the day has just begun.

Mark tosses his clothes back in his room and walks into the kitchen. “Hey, Graham! Do you want to show me your rock collection?”

Graham spins on his sock-clad heels, eyes bright at the thought of seeing his teacher. “Mr. Lee! Yes! Let’s go!”

He grabs Mark’s hand with ease, leaving you room to finish making breakfast.

Graham’s room is fairly simple. The small wooden bed is covered in a green quilt, and beneath that, frozen-printed sheets that certainly don’t match. He has a tub of stuffed animals shoved against a small dresser.

Mark gets distracted by the framed picture on top of the dresser. It’s a picture of you and Graham’s father, a few months before you got pregnant. He’s smiling, and you’re holding up a peace sign. It makes Mark feel a bit sad, knowing that Graham’s dad never stayed around to see how wonderful he turned out to be. Then again, a lot of people in your life left as soon as they found out. In high school, no one wants to be friends with a teenage mother.

Mark reckons that if he had a family like this, he’d never take them for granted.

Graham pulls out a gemstone. It’s a murky green one that Mark has let him take home from class. “Do you remember this, Mr. Lee?”

Mark grins. “Yeah, bud. Thanks for keeping it so safe for me.”

Graham beams. He grabs Mark’s hand and pulls him towards his dresser. “Can we match? I want to look like you.”

Mark feels his heart swell. He wants to smother the young boy in affection, but he doesn’t want to cross a line. He’s your friend, sure, but he’s also Graham’s teacher. He can’t coddle Graham more than the other children. He already has a godchild to coddle. “I’m wearing yellow today. Do you have any yellow clothes?”

“Let’s look!” Graham yanks open one of the drawers and begins pulling out the articles of clothing one by one. “No, no, no... Here!” He finds a pair of yellow overalls, folded amongst the mess he made. “I’ll wear these!”

“Let’s clean up first, okay?” Mark grabs the overalls. “So it’s clean when you come home from school.”

Graham, looking like the last thing he’d ever want to do is disappoint Mark, begins to pick up each shirt with obvious intent. He tries to fold them, and does a somewhat decent job, so much so that Mark leaves it, thinking you’ll find it endearing rather than annoying.

He really loves that about you. He likes your patience with Graham. You’re so young, and in reality, he squashed so many early dreams of yours. No matter your lot in life, you never blamed your child. Mark thinks that’s why Graham is so open, so adaptable, so endearing.

He helps Graham get dressed and leaves him in his room so that he, himself, can get ready.

When he emerges from his shower, hair wet and clothed in yellow, he smells something amazing.

He doesn’t want to intrude on your morning with Graham. He already feels too indebted to you already.

“Have an omelet,” you say. Wisps of hair cover your face. You place a plate down in front of him.

Graham is already eating his omelet, slowly, while flipping through a picture book. He sounds out words he recognizes, but stays silent the rest of the time.

Mark takes out his phone and scrolls through his instagram feed just as your own phone begins to ring.

“Shit,” you curse, and then immediately apologize to Graham. You press the red button and tap anxiously on the tabletop.

“Everything okay?” Mark asks.

You run your hands over your hair and let them rest on the back of your neck. “Yeah is just—“

The phone rings again, and this time you pick it up. “What do you want? ... Why would you tell me that? ... Why should I care? ... Please stop contacting me, okay? Goodbye.”

You slam the phone down and leave the room. Mark watches you disappear down the hallway, sniffling.

“Mommy is upset,” Graham says. He looks at Mark, lip quivering. “At me?”

“No, Buddy! Of course not!” Mark reaches over the table to ruffle Graham’s curls. “Never at you.”

“When we tore up paper, she was crying.” Graham fiddles with his book page.

Mark wonders why your ex’s actions are being brought up five years later. Last he heard, you had fully healed from the breakup long before Graham’s first birthday. But now he’s about to be six, and you're suddenly upset?

He’ll have to ask you about it soon.

“Are you ready to go to school, Buddy?”

“Yeah!”

-

You cradle your face in your hands and try to ease the tears back in. You’ll never get this article proofread and sent if you can’t see the keys.

The door opens, and Graham runs in just in time for you to finish wiping your eyes. “Hey, kiddo! How was school?”

“Mr. Lee let us finger paint!” Graham holds up his palm, covered in dried paint, and grins brightly. “Can I have gogurt?”

“Yeah bud. Why don’t you put something on the T.V.? You can have your snack in the living room today.”

“Yes!” Graham takes blueberry gogurt out of the fridge and — after getting you to tear it open — runs into the living room. Sneakers and backpack still on.

Mark trails behind, clutching a messenger bag to his chest. “What’s going on?”

You sigh and close the laptop. The manuscript will have to wait. “Ben called. About a week ago. His girlfriend is pregnant. Called me to tell me he wasn’t going to leave her— like that would heal what he did to me. Then he called this morning to tell me they’re engaged.” You burst into tears then, and you feel so pathetic for doing this in front of your old schoolmate, that you hide your face behind your palms and allow your shoulders to shake. “Why weren’t we enough? Why wasn’t I enough?”

Mark scoots one of the chairs in front of you and sits, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Hey. Look at me.” With gentle hands, he grabs your wrists and pulls them away from your face. “It is not your fault he left.”

“But it has to be me in some way,” you retort. “He must not have loved me. Something, because now he’s going to raise her child after he left mine. Graham deserves a dad.”

Mark places his forehead against yours. The two of you used to do it all the time in school, mostly with immature giggles in the spaces between, but now it’s heavy with intention. “Graham has not felt even a little bit unloved in your care. You are all he needs, okay? You’re amazing.”

You nod, head still pressed to Mark’s. “Yeah. Okay. Sorry for getting too emotional, there.”

“Be as emotional as you want,” Mark says. “I’ll be here to balance you out.”

Your heart stutters at the words, like maybe they mean something more than he’s letting on. Of course it’s stupid to think Mark Lee would ever even consider you, but just the knowledge that he cares makes your soul feel a little lighter.

“I’m a mess,” you stutter, bringing your fist up to wipe at your nose.

“Nah,” Mark grins. He runs the pad of his thumb across your cheek and grins. “You’re alright.”

-

“It’s snowing!” Graham wakes Mark up by jumping on his chest.

Mark sucks in a breath, winded at the sudden weight, and grabs the boy, lifting him off of his chest and onto the mattress. “Hey, Buddy. Let’s not jump on sleeping people, okay?”

“Okay,” Graham says. He’s already lost interest in Mark, now crawling off of the bed to open the blinds. “Come look at the snow!”

“I see!” Mark rubs his tired eyes and checks his watch. “We might have a snow day, Graham.”

“Yes!” Graham pumps his fist into the air. “Let’s go tell mom!”

You’re sitting on your bed, chewing on a red licorice rope and flipping through a fashion magazine. You look up when Mark and Graham enter.

Mark likes seeing you like this: the domesticity of you in the morning, lazy and true. His chest sparks when he thinks this may be one of the only moments he can capture you like this, so he intends to commit the sight to memory.

“Did I hear snow day?” You grin at Mark, childlike wit in your own eyes — the same as your son’s.

“Looks like it.” Mark rolls up the sleeves of the sweater he slept in. “You want pancakes? I make some mean chocolate chip pancakes.”

You shift your gaze away from his arms and clear your throat. “Uh, yeah. Just let me get dressed and I’ll help—“

“No need,” Mark insists. “Enjoy your quiet time. Graham and I will make the most delicious pancakes you’ve ever tasted.”

“With lots of chocolate chips!” Graham shouts.

You give him a pointed look. “But not too many.”

Graham huffs. “But not too many,” he repeats.

-

Momentary splashes sound from your bathroom, followed by Graham screaming “It’s a dragon! Run for cover!”

Mark giggles from his place on the couch. He’s got mushroom-patterned socks on, and he’s tucked up into the cushions, nursing a can of Monster. “How does he still have so much energy?”

You sigh and pull your beanie down over your forehead. “You’d think a snow day would tire him out. Thanks for constantly carrying him up the hill, by the way. I know you’re a teacher, but sometimes I forget how good you are with kids.”

“I do have a godson,” Mark reminds you.

“But Mikey is a baby,” you say. You only know the baby’s name because of Mark’s constant snap stories about him.

“Most babies and kids want the same thing. Affection and attention.” Mark scoots over to the edge of the couch and pats the cushion.

You sit next to him. “I guess that’s true. You’re really good with Graham. He’s not this open to other adults.”

Mark is clearly blushing now; you can see his pink cheeks even in the light of the television. “He’s great in class, always helping the other kids.”

“He wants to impress you,” you say. You pop open a can of orange soda and take a sip. “He thinks you’re just the coolest guy.”

Mark laughs and shakes his head. “Didn’t you hear, Y/n? I’m handsome and cool.”

“Oh, of course,” you nudge his shin with our own sock-clad foot. “How could I forget? Mr. Ladies Man in high school.”

This makes Mark blush even harder, because he most certainly was not a ladies man in high school. In fact, he was a nerd in all senses of the word, part of the debate club with a few other boys. He had a few dates here and there, but nothing ever stuck.

“Shut up,” he mumbles. “My time is gonna come.”

“Hasn’t it already?” you ask before you can really process your own words. But of course he knows that he’s grown into his face, right?

Mark is positively handsome, eyes bright and lashes long. He’s so warm and comforting to you. He must be just as comforting to everyone else.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re handsome, Mark,” you say plainly.

“You mean that?”

“Of course I do,” you say. “Why would I lie?”

Mark opens his mouth, perhaps to call you out. To tell you you’ve been too honest, but he’s interrupted by your son.

“Mom! I’m ready to get out now!”

“I should go,” you say, still looking at his eyes.

“Yeah,” he says. His sweater has small spots on the shoulders where snow has fallen and since melted. He shivers.

“You should take a shower. You’ll catch a cold.”

“Okay,” he whispers. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

-

Haechan comes over the following Saturday night to hang out with Mark, and you’re surprised at how much he truly hasn’t changed since high school.

He’s still got infamously perfect eyebrows, and his voice is still high despite its blunt sarcasm. “Nice place.” He raises his brows as he looks around.

“Who are you?” Graham is sitting at the kitchen table, watching Minecraft playthroughs (kid-friendly ones you’ve watched through yourself) on your phone to entertain himself while you clean.

“I’m Haechan, Mark’s friend.”

“This is Mr. Lee’s friend from school,” you say, detailing your words so they’re easier for your son to digest.

Graham stares at him for a moment, not quite judging but not quite accepting either. “Okay. Do you want to see my rock collection?”

Haechan looks genuinely excited, and accepts before you can come up with an excuse for him. Graham tells Haechan to stay in the kitchen while he grabs all of his rocks.

“How have you been?” you ask the taller man. “Like, with the flooding and everything?”

“Well, I’m on a couch at Taeyong’s, which is good since he doesn’t charge rent. But that means I’m near Mikey, and that baby has some lungs.”

You laugh. “I remember when Graham was a baby. I was so young, and my mom told me it was my responsibility to wake up and take care of him whenever he cried in the middle of the night. I was so pissed at her for making me do that, but those were some of the best nights to bond with him.” You realize you’re rambling and shake your head. “Whatever. Baby screams are loud as hell.”

“You can say that again. I’ve been talking to my friend Johnny about taking his spare room and paying rent. I dunno how many more sleepless nights I can take.”

“Why would you need to pay rent if you’re just crashing?” You wipe down the kitchen table to keep yourself busy.

“Didn’t Mark tell you? Our landlord is in heaps of trouble because the pipes weren’t up to code and that’s why they busted. The damage is basically too expensive to fix, so we’ve got to find new places.”

You stop cleaning. “Mark didn’t tell me that.”

“Oh.” Haechan scratches his brow. “He probably didn’t want to worry you. He feels really bad that he’s stayed with you this long.”

“It’s only been a month or so,” you counter. “Besides, Mark’s a great housemate. He cleans and keeps Graham occupied. Plus, now I have someone to watch corny game shows with.”

Haechan grins. “Oh. Okay, I get it.”

“Get what?” Mark, finally out of the shower, steps into the kitchen and immediately tackles Haechan in an energized hug.

“Nothing!” Haechan’s voice cracks

You shoot Haechan a weird look, and change the subject. “Where are you guys going?”

“To play video games at Johnny’s.” Mark says, and the thrill in his voice makes you think of high school. Of the debate team bus rounding the corner. Of you standing there, waiting to congratulate him with a big hug and a frosty from Wendy’s.

You miss it. “Have fun, okay? I’m probably going to tuck in as soon as Graham does, so just let yourself in.”

“You’re leaving?” Graham comes in, and his arms are filled with smooth and rough stones and gems he’s both found by himself and bought at random general stores while traveling.

“Not before I see your rocks!” Haechan says with so much enthusiasm, you think he’s telling the truth.

Graham giggles and drops the rocks onto the ground. Of course, he wants your guest to sit on the floor and count rocks. You’re almost embarrassed.

“ ‘ Okay, Y/n?” Mark laughs at your expression. Then he places his arm on your shoulder, thumbs the skin of your upper arm.

And once again, it’s high school. It’s senior year graduation and Mark is the only one who congratulates you. It’s his comforting touch, him coming over in the middle of the night after you texted him a picture of your first sonogram. It’s that same comforting touch. That little “I’m here,” and it melts you on the inside, leaves you in the shell of an eighteen girl again. Scared, and worried, and a little less alone.

“Yeah,” you manage. “I’m okay.”

-

The television plays Cartoon Network reruns on a low hum. Mark is curled up in a blanket, nursing a bottle of water and thinking over Haechan’s words.

You’ve liked her since high school, dude.

Which is a complete lie. Seriously, Mark didn’t have a crush on you in high school. He would know if he had a crush on his best friend. You’ve been his friend since freshman year, and that’s all you’ve ever been.

Now in college, it was different. In college, Mark was alone in a dorm with Taeyong, and you were one of the only people from high school he stayed in contact with. In college, he would bring you your favorite snacks and drinks, and other things you would forget to buy because you were a part-time student and a full-time mom. In college, you would pull all-nighters with him, working on your exams while Graham was asleep, then using energy drinks to get through the next day.

Mark even remembers the time your mom caught the three of you fast asleep on your rug, with unopened monster cans and an empty milk bottle beside you.

Throughout your entire pregnancy he was warned not to stay friends with the pregnant girl — it’d be too much for him, he wouldn’t want to become the new father, and all kinds of other stuff people would mumble to him when you weren’t around.

But you never expected him to be anything other than your friend. You never asked him for the help he gave — though you thanked him always — and you never once assumed he’d take the role of Graham’s dad.

And now… now he finds himself wishing you would.

“Mr. Lee?” Graham creeps up without him even realizing.

Mark jumps, sets his water — and thoughts — aside. “Hey, Bud. It’s really late. What are you doing up?”

Graham sniffs, and Mark realizes that the boy is crying. “I had a nightmare.”

Mark holds out his arms before he can think, and lets the five-year-old crawl into his lap. He wraps them both in his blanket and turns the television up just a little more. “Was it scary?”

“You left.” Graham says, voice less watery, like he doesn’t know the weight of his words. He’s focused on the rerun of Adventure Time that’s playing. He’s not even remotely interested in his nightmare now, with his tears dried up, and his eyes drooping back towards slumber.

“I’m going to leave one day,” Mark says, because he thinks it’s important that Graham knows.

“You should stay with me and Mom,” Graham says. He yawns. “We like you so much!”

Mark’s heart stutters. He tries not to think about it.

-

When Graham’s bed is empty the next morning, you freak out. He’s always in his room in the morning. Even if he wakes up before you, he stays in and plays with his toys.

You’ve already got your phone out, and your mother’s number called, when you walk into the living room.

Relief floods your system. Mark and Graham are asleep on the couch, snuggled up serenely like they didn’t just cause you to have a premature heart attack.

You hang up before the call to your mom can go through and stand there, watching the two boys sleep. Graham has both his arms wrapped around Mark’s forearm. It’s such a sweet picture that you take out your phone and snap one.

The flash is on.

Mark scrunches his nose and winces. “What the–”

“Sorry!” You whisper. “You both looked so cute, I couldn’t help it.”

Mark smiles, still sleepy, and finally opens his eyes. He peers at you, copper brown under fluttering lashes and you’re almost intimidated into looking away. “He had a nightmare.”

“Oh?”

“About me leaving.”

“Oh.” You frown. “I’m really sorry about that. I keep telling him that you’re moving out soon, but I don’t think he fully understands.”

Graham stirs. You reach down and pick him up. Your knuckles brush across Mark’s warm, sweater-clad chest and you suddenly wish you could cuddle with him, too. You shake the thoughts away and focus on your drowsy son. “You’re staying at Grandma's for a few days, remember?”

Graham rubs his eyes and perks up. “And I’ll see her cat?”

“Yes,” you confirm. “But we’ve got to get you dressed because she’s coming in a few minutes.”

-

“Mark Lee!” Your mom’s voice embarrassingly rings through the apartment, and you realize Mark has taken it upon himself to open the door. “Y/n told me she had a temporary roommate but I never thought she would finally ask you!”

“Oh my gosh…” you mumble, buckling Graham’s overalls and hauling him up into your arms. “Mom! His apartment flooded so he’s staying here. Don’t be weird about it.”

“But he’s so handsome,” your mom coos. You’re concerned she might reach forward and pinch Mark’s already ruddy cheeks.

“Thanks,” Mark laughs. “But she’s right, I’m just squatting until I can find a new place.”

Your mom harrumphs. “Well, I don’t see why you can’t stay here forever. Y/n doesn’t even use that office room. And even if she did, the two of you could just share a room.”

“Mom!” You plunk Graham into her hands and grab his overnight bag. “You have to leave.”

“Did I say something wrong?” She sounds worried, but there’s an undisclosed mirth in her eyes that makes you think of your freshman year, when you did have a crush on Mark.

“You said everything wrong,” you say, kindly pushing her out. “Have a good time, Graham. I love you! As always, Mom, call if you need me to come get him.”

“Yeah, right!” She yells over her shoulder. Graham is already giggling, so you close the door with confidence.

You turn back to your roommate. “I’m sorry about that, Mark.”

“It’s fine.” He smiles, but it’s reserved. “But speaking of me finding a place… I know Haechan told you that I can’t go back to my own apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“It’s okay,” you say. You want to say “You can stay here as long as you want, and long as you’ll let me keep you,” but that would reveal too much, and you don’t want to lose the one good friend you have.

“And I was thinking I should move out soon anyway.” Mark pulls his sweater sleeves until they cover his hands. He’s hiding. He’s shielding himself the same way he did in junior year, when he got turned down by his crush to go to the prom. “I don’t think it’s good for Graham to get this attached to me if I’m just going to leave.”

“Oh,” Your sleeves are too short, but you want to shield yourself too. “Yeah, that’s… that’s probably a good idea.”

Mark stands there for a beat, like he’s waiting for you to say something more. Like he hasn’t just taken your heart and pushed it aside. Like this hurts a lot less than it actually does.

But any word out of your mouth would be tearful. It would be honest. It would ruin everything. “I’m going to go on a run.”

-

There’s a cricket outside that won’t stop chirping against your window. You blame it for your insomnia, choosing to ignore the anxiety of eventually losing Mark. It feels so horribly childish, since you’ll see him when you drop Graham off at school. And you’ll see him whenever the two of you go out for coffee on weekends.

But you won’t see him in the kitchen, reaching for the pancake mix so his shirt rises up and you can see the dimples in his back. You won’t see him humming along to the radio while he works on his lesson plans. You won’t feel his warmth when the two of you stay awake, nursing spiked lemonade and giggling at the commentary videos you find on YouTube.

He’ll just be Mark again. He won’t be home anymore.

Startled by the realization, you get out of your covers and rush to your door.

It opens before you can even reach for the doorknob, and there’s Mark in his pajamas, biting his lip and avoiding your eyes.

“I don’t want you to leave,” you say.

Mark confesses, “I love you.”

You open your arms and he dives in, face pressed into the space where your neck meets your shoulder. Warmth envelopes you and the scent of pine fills your nose.

Mark is timeless. Youthful glory and childish pride. He’s a pinch on the side and a push on the swings. Like a rock that actually skips on the first try. Like shoes that you can slip on when they’re still tied. And he’s here, in your arms, squeezing you like you’re something valuable enough to lose. He’s confessing love like you aren’t the worst possible candidate for his heart.

“I can’t offer you much,” you start, but Mark bumps his forehead against yours, boyish and playful — football fields and bright red lockers and secret notes on bathroom walls.

“I’ve known you for years, Y/n,” Mark’s voice is a low rumble. Copper eyes blinking at you like you’re something to second glance at. “I know what I’m getting into. I want you. I want Graham. I want everything this is, and everything we’ve been for the past month. I don’t want this to end.”

You close your eyes, because his are too honest. He’s open and vulnerable and gentle — a child on the first day of school, ready to make friends. You take a deep breath, try to remember what you were like on your first day. Rosy cheeks and shy glances. Knobby knees and a trusting heart. You reach out for whoever you once were — the Y/n with a heart open and willing to be loved. “I don’t want this to end either. I’m in love with you, Mark.”

His grin lights up your world in its entirety. Gold flecks in onyx black disappear as he smiles, too thrilled to keep his eyes open. And when he kisses you, warm lips against cold ones, you feel like a puzzle has just slotted into place.

It would only make sense that you would grow to love the boy you grew up with.