#I don't (and will never) concern myself with other groups but this is just ridiculous

[alphabetuser]

if there's one thing thats a fact, its that bts built bighit and hybe. they created their own career and style which is recognized by millions.

mhj is out of her mind to say that a 2013 bg copied a 2022 gg.

link

[captainsophiestark]

Hypocrite

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Requested by @flowers-and-fichte! Hope you enjoy, Novalis, and thanks for the request!

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Bucky's gotten close with Peggy's best friend, the two bonding over the reckless mavericks they both chose to care so much about. But Steve and Peggy aren't the only couple dancing around each other in this war.

Word Count: 1,396

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: I can't believe this is my first time writing for Bucky, lol. Most of the rest of the fandom has been here since Winter Soldier, but better late than never I guess!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I shook my head as I barely managed to put one foot in front of the other, heading through the front door of my favorite dive bar. The Howling Commandos and I had spent many a night here, toasting success or planning our next move, but tonight I was without the rest of my group.

Peggy Carter was going to well and truly kill me, and I needed a night to process that.

She'd been my best friend for just about as long as I could remember; we'd joined SOE together, and somehow managed to end up on General Philips' staff, two of the only women getting as close to combat as we did. We made an excellent team, and normally, I had no complaints. But sometimes she could just be so reckless, flying head first into insane danger, that my heart needed a break lest it burst on the spot.

Tonight had been no exception. Peggy and Steve Rogers, the one and only Captain America, had worked together on a Commandos mission just across enemy lines. We'd been successful, and the two of them together had made an incredible difference in the war effort, but damned if I didn't also rue the day they'd met.

I slumped into a stool at the bar, barely registering my surroundings until someone slid a glass of my favorite drink in front of me. I frowned at it, then turned to my left to see who exactly it had come from.

Sargeant Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers' best friend, stared back at me with a faint smile on his face. He looked almost as tired as I felt.

"You look like you could use this," he said. I huffed.

"Thanks. How'd you know what I liked?"

He just shrugged, his eyes never once leaving mine as I took a drink, the corner of his mouth gently tugging up.

"I usually pay attention to the drink orders of pretty girls."

I snorted so hard a bit of my drink came out of my nose. It burned like hell, so it took me a few moments to recover myself enough to meet Bucky's gaze again. He'd leaned forward a bit, one eyebrow raised, looking a bit concerned.

"You alright there, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, fine. Just wasn't expecting you to hit on me, especially with that lame ass pickup line."

"Lame?" Bucky asked, a hand flying to his heart in mock-outrage. "That hurts."

I just rolled my eyes. "Knock it off, Barnes. We've quite literally been through hell together, I think we're a little past you trying to get my number in a bar."

"Well then how would you suggest I get your number?"

I paused, drink halfway to my lips again, and cut my eyes towards Bucky to let him know how truly ridiculous I thought the question was.

"You already have my number. It's the same one for Peggy and all the Commandos, as long as we're all stationed at the same camp."

Bucky just stared at me for a long moment. I sipped my drink and set it back down on the bar before he finally spoke again.

"Shit."

"Yeah. Nice try though."

Bucky huffed a laugh and took a sip of his own drink, then turned back to me with renewed energy and a bright, charming smile. I held up a hand before he could launch into whatever he was planning to say next.

"Okay Buck, why don't you just tell me what this is about. Because I came in here exausted after dealing with our best friends, and I don't have the energy to coach your rusty ass on how to flirt, if that's what you're trying to practice."

Bucky cleared his throat, deflating a little, but not all the way. He sighed, then set his shoulders and met my stare again with a determined expression.

"Actually, I'm trying to ask you on a date."

I laughed, until I realized Bucky wasn't laughing.

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Very. Although you're really testing my resolve, since you've now laughed in my face twice. You know I used to be good at this before the war?"

I shook my head, a disbelieving smile subconsciously forcing its way onto my face.

"Bucky... I'm not saying no, but... I mean, why? Why me, why now? We've known each other and been working on missions since Steve got you out of that prison... what changed to make you think this was a good idea all of a sudden?"

He sighed heavily, the muscles in his jaw working as he apparently forced the words to come.

"I've been feeling like I wanted to ask you out since I saw you, honestly. But we were going to have to work together, and I think it's pretty clear I'm a little rusty. So I waited, and I was just starting to convince myself to wait all the way to the end of the war, until I tried to get Steve to ask Peggy on a date."

My eyebrows shot up. "You did? How did that go? Those two have been dancing around each other for way too long, I've been trying to tell Peggy the same thing-"

"Well, maybe between the two of us we can actually get them to take the leap. But I realized when I was talking to Steve that I can't expect him to take my advice when I won't take it myself. I'm turning into the biggest hypocrite in the world encouraging him to talk to Peggy while chickening out on talking to you. So... here we are."

"Here we are..." I repeated, my voice a little faint as the full weight of Bucky's confession sank in. He had feelings for me, and apparently had for a while now. And now he was asking me on a date, the fact that we were in the middle of a war be damned.

I grinned.

"Is that a good sign? That looks like a good sign, but now I'm not sure..."

"It's a great sign, Bucky," I said, meeting his eyes and feeling a spark of excitement in my chest. "I'm glad you decided to take your own advice."

"So that's a yes?"

"That's absolutely a yes." Bucky's shoulders finally relaxed, a smile appearing on his face to match my own. "So... when do we do this? Do we call tonight our first date? We're out together, the two of us, at a bar..."

"No. No way," Bucky quickly decided. I raised an eyebrow at him, so he continued. "Tonight's not a date, sweetheart. Even in the middle of a war, I can find a way to make our night on the town something special. A little magical, and definitely just about the two of us. Tonight might be just the two of us, but it's about the two reckless idiots we call friends."

I laughed, then reached for my drink and raised it towards Bucky.

"I'll toast to that. To taking tonight to cope with the people we care about, and putting something on the books for a real night out together soon."

"Hear hear."

Bucky and I shared a smile, then each took a drink. I finished mine off, then sat back in my chair and stared at the man before me.

"So... how do you feel about a game of darts? Person who's not throwing is allowed to distract the other person, but only by relating the most insane shit our friends have done lately. True stories only."

"Bring it on. I've known Steve long enough that nothing's gonna surprise me anymore."

I snorted as the two of us grabbed another round of drinks and headed for the dartboard at the back of the bar.

"Look, Peggy might've gone through a phase of trying to be a proper lady, but she's been making up for it by doing even more ridiculous nonsense lately. Your boy's got nothing on her."

"I guess we'll just have to see about that, won't we?"

Bucky and I shared another smile. The routine was familiar, but now, there was an extra spark attached that hadn't really been there before. Even though tonight wasn't a date, spending time with Bucky felt a little different, now, in a very good way.

Maybe this could be the silver lining I held on to the next time Peggy tried to kill me via heart attack, until the end of the war and beyond.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten @coinsublime

If your name is crossed out, Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you for some reason

[curry-and-gunpowder]

Okay so I have some stuff to get off my chest, might get a bit heated, but I mean no disrespect to anyone, just expressing my genuine confusion and frustration and trying to make my stance on some matters clear.

Clearly I ship Odazai. But that does not mean I reject other interpretations of their relationship. Be it platonic, queerplatonic, brotherly, it's all lovely to me - I genuinely just enjoy their unique dynamic.

However, I am constantly on the brink of losing it over hearing them referred to as a father/son pair by so many people in the fandom. And I'm gonna attempt to break down why this interpretation bothers me so much.

Firstly, it just flies in the face of my personal experience of intergenerational friendships - I'm a young-ish Millennial with many Gen Z friends. And I find it completely incomprehensible to try and force people who are relatively close in age into such a dynamic. I'm aware that a lot of bsd fans are teens or young adults who maybe don't have much social contact with people outside their age range. But as a 30+ person on the Internet, let me tell you, five years? That's nothing. The plain truth is, the older you get, the less age starts to matter. Once you get out of school, you will interact with people of all ages regularly and you will have friends who are older or younger than you and nobody fucking cares. The thought of seeing any of my younger friends as my children is, pardon my french, fucking ridiculous.

Secondly, and I've spoken about this before, the fandom's tendency to parentify Odasaku way beyond what the text ever implies. It's easy to put him into the role, considering the way he cares for his orphans. In that way, he has some parental traits - but it's only a facet of his personality, and, i would argue, one that the fandom puts way too much emphasis on, imho. I'll gladly write some more meta on that at a later time, but doing that here would make the post even longer than it already is. Just to quickly reiterate, for anyone who hasn't read the dark era lightnovel - Oda does explicitly NOT treat the kids like his children. Why then would he treat Dazai like one? Dazai, whom he explicitly invites to go drinking with him in TDIPUD? How does that track? Is he supposed to be just a shitty parent? Or could it maybe indicate that he sees Dazai as his equal more than anything?

(Tangentially, I would argue that Oda's perception of what constitutes a child/an adult is horrendously skewed, considering his own past.)

Thirdly, and this is probably gonna be the one that might get me into hot water with some people, the thing I like to call the Cope. The tendency in fandom to manifest a hard line between groups of characters that somehow should never be crossed when shipping, otherwise that makes the ship badwrongtoxic. This is a phenomenon I've observed developing more and more in recent years, and it's ngl pretty worrying, because it's generally used to present one's own ship as "superior", and all "rival ships" as less than/bad. Ships with "significant" age gaps tend to fall into that category relatively often, but I suspect very few people actually genuinely care about the characters' ages, but rather use it as a shield to justify why these relationships are To Be Avoided. Odazai is an absolute stellar example of such a ship - by all means it should be way more popular than it is, considering the themes that surround it and the way its absolutely center to the nareative of bsd. But without fail, when I look up media for the ship, be it YouTube videos or simply browsing the tag on tumblr or pinterest, I see the same mantra repeated over and over - "how can you ship them, they're like father and son!"

(I'm concerned about the relationship you have with your parents, I say to myself in response.)

And its, quite frankly, just not the case. I cannot for the life of me find any indication of this so-called parental relationship anywhere in the text. All I can see is two people who are friends who have a deep and sincere love for each other.

In conclusion, not every relationship has to fall into the category of familial or romantic. Sometimes... people are just friends. Sometimes friends are some years apart in age. It's not shocking or special or anything, it literally happens all the time.

Just let them be friends. It's fine, really, it's allowed.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Watched LSRF's documentary and I guess I have some thoughts and a headache I need to distract myself from.

Overall, the doc was nothing special. Episode 1 was ridiculous. They filmed LSRF like they were the Beatles - incredibly dramatic music and a classic, heavy documentary style for a two! year old group. Thankfully, they toned it down a lot for the other episodes. I thought the last episode would never end... It stopped being interesting after Kkura's amazing and relatable reflection about happiness. After a lot of tears, they tried to make the last episode more about their bond and great story, but it was boring. This "review" has no structure, so bear with me. Episode 2 was about Eunchae, Kazuha, and Yunjin, while episode 3 was about Sakura and Chaewon - except they spent 20 minutes on Sakura and 5 minutes on Chaewon... as if there was nothing worth showing about Chaewon since she isn't regularly criticized for anything. She had a bigger spotlight in episode 4 due to her small break from activities, which caused by something she couldn't control - a flu. Clearly if no one is crying or feeling unwell, why have them on screen?

The biggest goal of this doc was to make LSRF look sympathetic and show how much they suffer and how hard they work. It's what you see in every idol documentary, so there's nothing outstanding about it - no offense. What was very noticeable to me was that in the first LSRF doc their staff looked like assholes, while in this one they were endlessly understanding and encouraging. Obviously, this is also a publicity stunt for Source Music. While the doc made a good job of showing the highs and lows of the girls lives, it was often less about showing their true selves and more about addressing every single critique they get.

Watching all 5 parts, I don't understand why stans were so shocked on Reddit. Compassionate? Yes. Shocked? No. Anxiety, frustration, exhaustion, fame/a dream not living up to expectations, etc. are all famous people 101. It's always the same regardless if they're Western stars, idols, or athletes. Many aspects of these people's lives are crap, due to pressure, lack of privacy, lack of time for themselves, facing public judgment, expectations vs. reality, bad contracts, competitive and perfectionist personalities, etc. But the doc didn't show anything you couldn't have seen in a random Netflix special. Also, not being happy or knowing what happiness is is pretty common at their age.

I'm not saying this to be unsympathetic or because I didn't feel for them, but I don't care about them enough to cry about it, and kpop stans need a reality check. This doc didn't really show the dark side of kpop, as much as the dark side of fame and success.

I was a bit shocked by how often Sakura broke down in tears though. She's very insecure and unhappy with her performance. She's also a perfectionist. Eunchae was the same, but she's too young to be in this industry. Her panic attack was the most concerning incident, but the dance teacher said it sometimes happened when she struggled for breath? Does she suffer from panic attacks or asthma? I don't understand if she actually panicked or just had shortness of breath.

Most of my thoughts while watching the documentary were about how stupid Source Music is as well as the industry in general. It's all terrible inefficient. Working hard isn't enough to get good results. They debuted a minor Eunchae who can't sing well, struggles with confidence, and looks scared or empty on stage most of the time. They debuted Sakura who can't sing and doesn't seem to ever have learned the basics. They debuted Kazuha who barely had time to learn to dance or sing... If they can't do the basics, it doesn't matter how much they practice, especially when they are fatigued and have no time to focus on honing their skills. Kazuha improved a lot, but Sakura and Eunchae haven't as much. They also have to pull off these tiring choreos and practice all day but it doesn't help that they seem to be too weak. If the company insisted on them working out and bulking up a bit, surely their moves would have more power and their endurance would improve? But maybe they would be "less attractive". And why waste time and tire the girls out shooting Easy for VEVO 8 times when the differences between takes were probably minimal?? I never saw the members happy about dancing and performing. It was all about perfection and reaching greater heights, but where was the drive to make music, dance, and perform? I didn't see a lot if it - only some excitement for the tour (and Yunjin who loves writing music). It kind of reminds me of BTS, who genuinely love performing and music, but at some point the pressure took some of the fun out it. I'm not sure LSFR love performing as much, which makes happiness harder for them. No wonder they have to work so much on their facial expressions. Every idol does, but when you really love performing it's a lot more natural. Kpop is just stupid. You can fake less than stellar singing in the studio and less than stellar dancing in MVs, but when idols are performing live, you can't fake anything. Most of them have 0 stage presence, poor singing skills, and so-so dancing. Why give idols choreos where all they do is jump around and there's no room for the idols to sing and the fans to appreciate the choreo? I was watching EN's new MV and the choreo practice and performance videos, and I can't remember a second of it. Most of their choreos are them jumping around like mad men in a rotating move while making sexy facial expressions (except in the cute choreos where they make cute facial expressions). None of it is memorable, appealing, genuine, unique, or interesting to watch. If companies were smarter, they'd give groups dynamic choreos, with hard-hitting moves as well as softer ones, with moments for idols to sing and engage the audience, and they would let the idols show individuality instead of perfect, boring synchronization. They would also invest more in talent and training. This is why there is no next BTS, and why SKZ and Ateez are the most popular and impactful boy groups right now. I don't get why companies don't get this. But it's easy for me to say, obviously.

This is just a rant. Thanks if you read all of it.

[poledancingdinos]

Thought You Should Know

A story barely featuring Captain Syverson

Word Count: 1074

Warnings: Non-con groping, sexual harassment, language, implied panic attack, generalized angst

A/N: I apparently accidentally deleted the original post so I guess I have to make a new one.

Masterlist

I was angry, there was no doubt about it. My friend had been the one to suggest we get drinks on Friday night to celebrate my recent promotion and yet she texted me 15 minutes after the time we were supposed to meet to tell me she had been held up and couldn't make it. So there I was, sitting alone in a booth at the back of the bar, watching as group after group of people came in to laugh and drink.

Leaving my leather jacket on the table to mark my spot, I walked to the bar to place my order. The waitresses already seemed to be getting overwhelmed with the other tables they were serving so I figured I would save them the trouble and go straight to the barman.

I stood with my arms leaning against the counter as I waited for one of the two bartenders to take my order. The first was busy making shots of something that looked ridiculously sweet and treacherously strong while the other punched a waitress’s order into the computer.

I'd been waiting for about a minute when a dark-haired man came to stand behind me to my left. I felt his presence before I saw him when he shamelessly brushed his hips against mine. Already worked up from being ditched at the last minute, I straightened my back and looked over my shoulder.

"Yeah, hi. You're in my space and I'd really appreciate it if you could back up."

"Aw, come on doll, don't be like that. I was just appreciating the view."

As he spoke, he put his hand on my butt, going so far as to give it a little squeeze.

Wrong move buddy.

I spun around, grabbing the hand on my ass with my right hand and pushing into his elbow with my left until his arm was twisting at the shoulder and his cheek and chest smacked flat against the bar surface with an audible thud.

"Ow, you bitch!"

"No, I'm not a bitch for telling you to respect my boundaries but you are most definitely a dick for calling me 'doll' and grabbing my ass."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I became incredibly aware of the way the entire room had gone silent. Not a single person dared to move.

"All right, pal, it's time for you to go."

A heavyset man — who I recognized as the bouncer who checked my ID when I walked in — grabbed the brunette by his shirt collar and dragged him outside. Shortly after, a group of three sheepish-looking guys followed them out, never looking in my direction as they did.

I glanced around the bar, seeing everyone else's eyes on me, and quickly escaped back to my booth. I sat as close to the wall as I could, my back facing the room, and crouched down so my head couldn't be seen over the edge of the seat. I wrapped my arms around myself, holding onto my arms in a desperate attempt to keep my hands from shaking.

"Excuse me? Are ya all right?"

I looked up to see an imposing bearded man leaning against the divider on the opposite side of the booth. I was tempted to tell him to fuck off and go play hero somewhere else but something in his features urged me to keep my mouth shut. His hypnotically gorgeous blue eyes looked… genuinely concerned, his brows tightly nit together.

"I'm fine," I lied.

His face twisted, recognizing it wasn’t true, but he knew it wasn’t his place to call me out on my lie. He put his hands in his pockets, slouching lightly like he was trying to make himself less threatening.

"Are ya meetin' someone?" he asked instead, looking around to the front door.

"I was supposed to…" I paused, unsure if I should tell him the truth.

"But now yer thinkin' of just goin' home?" he guessed.

"Actually, they cancelled on me about five minutes ago. I was planning on getting a drink anyway since I was already here but… yeah."

At that point, the thought of getting up to do anything but walk out the door was absolutely terrifying, but I really did need that drink now.

"Would ya let me get it for ya?"

"You don't have to do that."

"I know, I'm offerin'," he shrugged. "It's up to you." And it really was. The man had made no indication of wanting anything in return.

"That would be really nice," I said, giving him a half smile.

"What's yer poison?"

"Rhum and coke? I'm not really picky about what kind."

"All right then," he nodded, walking away like a man on a mission.

It took all of sixty seconds for him to be back by my side, setting my highball glass down on the table. He had gotten a bottle of beer for himself which he half finished on his first sip. I pulled some cash from my jeans’ front pocket, but the stranger shook his head as soon as he saw it.

"No need —"

"Do I seriously look like I'm in the mood to fight you over who pays for my drink?" I cut him off before he could finish.

He smirked at me, taking another sip of beer.

"I was gonna say: there's no need 'cause the bartender gave it to me on the house. Said you puttin' that asshole in his place made his night."

"Oh," I almost felt bad for snapping at him. Almost.

"What you did… it was really badass. Thought you should know."

With a resigned nod, he left me alone. I wrapped my still unsteady hand around the cool glass and took a greedy sip of my drink. The sugary soda instantly helped soothe the dizziness I had been feeling since my adrenaline dropped and by the end of the last drop, my heart had slowed back to a normal pace.

I had walked to the bar from work, planning for the eventuality that I would be too drunk to drive home but one drink wasn't enough to make me more than lightly tipsy. I grabbed my jacket, shrugging it on, and clutched my car keys in my hand so the metal poked out near my pinky. I closed my eyes, counting to three, and with a deep breath, I stood, making a beeline for the door, not looking back at anyone as I did.

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

I'm (not) sorry if this is mean to say but people who do the 'you know they're brothers' thing are actually so unbelievably stupid. Just shockingly dumb as bricks. Past even the ridiculousness of saying that at all, it's so evident how little they've ever delved into anything complex and interesting, not through academia nor through hobbies. To throw up this completely useless 'defense' about them being related whenever they feel uncomfortable instead of taking any time at all to acknowledge that grown functional adults from all socioeconomic and national backgrounds are out here shipping this pairing, with developed brains and life experiences and griefs and losses and quirks and loves of their own, which means MAYBE just maybe the brain dead interpretation of us us running around kicking our feet going 'doy i love incest i'd do incest irl if i could' is flawed like??? Sometimes it really blows my mind how surface level these people are in intellect and in personality. They couldn't carry a coherent conversation about anything even if they tried

It does boggle the mind, doesn't it. When I'm feeling generous, which I try to be as often as I can manage, I remind myself that there is a wide array of experiences that people have had. Some of those experiences have taught some people how to critically separate fiction from reality, while some of them have actively suppressed the development of that particular skill set. Sadly, there are a lot of people out there who really struggle with the very concepts of imagination, empathy, or sympathy. So the idea that one can connect to a piece of fiction and embrace it because it is inherently problematic or disturbing is one that is beyond a lot of people's grasp.

I honestly think that part of this is fed by the blurring of the line between thoughts and actions too. Many groups preach that to think a thing is just as bad as to do a thing, so that when members of those groups see someone like me enjoying the idea of Sam and Dean fucking each other's brains out, they see no difference between that and me wanting to fuck my own sibling, no matter how many times that I assure them that I would never, that I do not and would not ever even think of my sister that way, let alone actually ever consider it ��. But there is no subtly or nuance between thoughts and actions for them. This lack of nuance also leads them to equate all incest situations as 100% always bad/evil, and basically reduces it all down to pedophilia and sexual assault. Now, pedophilia and sexual assault are bad, mmmkay, but I do not think that what consenting adults do between themselves (read: all involved parties are consenting adults), even if they are directly related individuals, is or should be anyone else's concern. But in fiction, you can literally do whatever you want to any of the fictional characters because they are not real people. <- and that right there is beyond them. It doesn't matter if it is gross or bad or wrong or whatever, you can have fictional characters do and suffer through it all and it's not harming anyone at all.

But whatever, I guess. They don't get it so they're not going to get it and that's actually okay, they don't have to. It would be nice if they did, but it is what it is. So I will continue to occasionally get snarky about it and otherwise go about my business of reading and writing about those Winchester brothers fucking the daylights out of one another.

[harmcityherald]

I have always hated telling people I see auras. The pandemonium that always follows that statement is always predictable and always tremendously annoying. No matter what, there's always that person who says "do me next." So it's never been something that I am comfortable talking about and especially not in large groups of people. I'm very used to not being believed and being labeled a lunatic or worse. The problem is I can not navigate around it and properly tell my story, from my point of view, without fabrication. To omit that from my story, like bisexuality for example, would be a lie. Not worth spending the time and literal anguish writing it. This is my first time. Be gentle. My first book can not be built on a fabricated foundation. Do auras exist? I say hell yes. Many say its not. But the universe is built on photonic energy particles and waves. Maybe I am a freak and skitzo as they say, but maybe freak skitzo is near the veil that separates the planes or dimensions or whatever the fuck they are. The big question of science is simple. So simple in fact as to be laughable. What is it? Simple. We look at existence and ask ... What is it? 200,000 years of wondering. Thousands of scrolls, manuscripts, books, data streams and we are still nowhere near an answer to anything beyond simple mechanics and physics for reactions at the lowest levels. The big questions remain out of our reach. The big questions that can be channeled together to one question. Again, what is it? So while I can accept that maybe I am screwed marbles, out of my grey cells completely and in desperate need of realignment, I can also comfort myself in knowing that just maybe I bumped my head in the womb in just the right way or maybe we have a gift curse in our genetic makeup. Running in my family because yes, my grandmother, my mother, both gifted with gift curse abilities. Maybe its defended from so far back we didn't even have legs yet, who can say? Maybe combined with DNA from my father, gifting me with a genetic lean towards femininity, it heightened this particular gift curse in me. Female energy is so much more focused. As if it depends its very nature from female form and ideation. Every fetus in the womb starts as female. It is the hormone bath that follows that delineates which will be favored. I feel I was lucky enough to receive some secret female energy. Thanks to Jessica, rest her soul. I believe males are the afterthought of nature. We are but pawns in a female game lol. Men catch fire when I say this. Its entertaining. Anyway. Long winded word salad to say its ok to think I'm nuts. I'm completely ok with you saying that because I may well be. On the other hand, my shared experiences with my mom I will never deny. I can not afford to lie to myself this late in the game. She had something and I saw the proof, I got something and our proofs formed that bond of common knowledge. Does it mean we understand it any better for you? Hell no, we don't understand none of this shit. There's a scene in the movie Constantine that makes me cry every time. You'd think it was something big like shia's death? Him quiting smoking? Her sister going to heaven? No, it was none of that. Its the scene when he's a little boy on the bus. (Why busses are factoring tonite is concerning lol.) He sees the scary skeleton woman. No one but him can see. It traumas me every time. Because I can relate to it. sixth sense too. I was lucky to have my mom. Without her help and guidance I hate to think what I would have become.

So, as doctors plot to commit me, I, in my utmost wisdom decide to espouse upon my occult involvement from early childhood and my hallucinatory psychic visions that I fought very hard to beat back and control. I like to walk the tightrope of public humiliation. Its invigorating and refreshing. My childhood happened as I remember it, and in my mind, there is no other version. Adam ant tells us ridicule is nothing to be scared of. On one hand it is a very personal and quiet thing, held firmly behind the back to not invite scrutiny. I could a Christian man, holding crossed fingers behind his back. Tell me, what makes his magic voodoo any better than mine?

[muji-milk]

diff anon, but i’m wondering if the immediate referral to (potential) medical service has anything to do with the fact that access to that service is related to why many young trans people attempt suicide. the medical community knows the statistics and knows that it’s life saving care for many young trans people, so even just referring them there could be life saving. that doesn’t necessarily negate your point about needing more counselors involved in the process, though. perhaps there should be psychological counseling during the waiting process. i’d imagine that might lead them to be vulnerable to the not-always-impartial whim of a psychologist though. (also i’ve been following you since your gender confusion era and even *I* nearly unfollowed you at first because putting ‘affirmation’ in quotes is big terf energy. figured i’d give you a chance to explain.)

I put affirmation in quote marks just to emphasize the word, not to show a disbelief or dismissal of the service. I agree that it can and has saved lives.

However, I also think that viewing my words as terf energy is....ridiculous. TERF rhetoric is a very specific thing, but this acronym is used so frequently to quiet someone who raises a concern about gender issues that doesn't immediately align with 100% support for affirmation, that it has become diluted. We should reserve terf for what it is - some chronically online feminists who do not believe trans people are sane/real and would rather ignore/eradicate them. A terf is not anyone who wants to discuss shortcomings in the current medical approach to dysphoria. The more we bandy around a word like terf when someone attempts to discuss an alternative view, the more people are going to give up and go "yeah well then i am a terf". And we get nowhere.

Anyway!

I do agree the waiting process is flawed. Even when someone is a fully prepared and intentional, they still just have to wait for sometimes 1-2 years; and in the meantime there's nothing really provided. I think that this waiting period can be what drives some people to a more dysphoric state, because their desired outcome is almost in their grasp and they may get tunnel vision towards it.

I also think that the constant reference to affirmation service as 'lifesaving' puts so much pressure on everyone; the clinics, the young patients, the parents of young patients. It makes it look like the only option if you want to be happy and not die. And if you don't send your child there, they will die. You know what was life saving for me? Not transitioning. Spending lots of time thinking and realising things about myself. Going to counseling to talk through other things unrelated to gender. Getting out of my solitary bubble.

But, big but; because I never formally began the medical transition process (only socially) I am not a measurable statistic. I never became a patient to a clinic, so my experience is not traceable. Those who medically transition are a quantifiable group. Those who commit suicide are also a quantifiable group. We can use these 2 data sets to show the correlation; affirmation = lifesaving. But there's is no data on the amount of people like me who went through phases and changed their minds and are happier because they came out of that phase rather than following through. It shouldn't be controversial and 'terfy' to tell young people "sometimes it is just a phase" - phases are valid and help us discover things about ourselves, and the end result after the phases can be something we didn't expect.

So to constantly present 'affirmation' as the only lifesaver creates very loaded ideas in the individual's mind; you feel this is the route to your true self, you see older people saying they wish they'd done it sooner, you read encouraging statistics about people's life after transition, and you read depressing statistics about those who kill themselves because their family wont let them access transition when they're a teen; and then you have to sit around waiting for 2 years, getting more desperate to reach that 'lifesaver' with all this info in your head potentially blinding you to other possibilities of growth and expression and the lives you could lead if it does turn out to be a phase.

[randomprosho]

On your recent post.

I consider myself pro-para from all I know and I didn't have any disagreements with your post (minus one possible remark*).

All communities are flawed and especially with a group with lots of various mental states so arguments or beliefs won't always be the most rational (such as in the "you have to like me" thing). For a lot of people this is their only place to be honest and open so when there's someone going against them, it's easy to take the "us vs them" mentality like with pretty much other groups. Doesn't make it "right", though. I think some of proparas could improve on more constructive answering, but I can also understand how people can be exhausted and hostile and constantly "on edge" and feel the need to defend their only/one of the only places they feel valuable/cared about.

I've seen your posts a few times and people acting specific ways towards you for being pro-sho, which I mean, yeah I completely agree that you can be pro-sho or otherwise pro-ship (though I find it frustrating and kind of confusing at times) while being anti-para (I of course am pro-para so I find this belief of anti-para to be kind of cruel perhaps is the best wording but proship is only talking about fiction which is different, and I think pro-para anti-ship is the most ridiculous one) and if I had an account and was braver, I might've said something in those conversations.

I also think the "being uncomfortable is absolutely wrong" belief is kind of annoying. I think treating the person as less isn't "right" obviously but blocking/not being comfortable around hearing any sort of content for whatever reason is definitely okay.

I'm also of the opinion that cross tagging when it's not specifically also about proship (such as just a post ONLY talking about desires) is kind of annoying, and yeah you can and should block, but it's better etiquette to tag appropriately in the first place and an understandable concern on both sides.

I write this more to say that I think most anti-paras who lean/are more sort of "neutral" are often just against various community aspects which even pro-paras share. You can call yourself whatever you want, of course. Just some thoughts I had on the matter.

* The things pertaining to being "proud of attractions" as I'm pretty sure a fair percentage of those people are more proud of "living in a world that hates them and surviving" sort of ordeal rather than the specific attraction itself. With constant hate or feeling unsafe, it is pretty normal to become absorbed entirely with it and feel the need to defend / idolize the thing to cope, though. So, I think it should be a case by case basis in my opinion of judging. Never judge someone only by a label, but circumstances regarding themselves and everything else. (Ending quote to sound cool...)

I don't understand when they say I'm being hypocritical. I know schediaphilia is a thing and I understand that there is more to being pro-para than just those certain 3 paraphilias... idk if that's the reason they call me a hypocrite? or is it because they believe lolishocons are pedophiles? (I am genuinely confused)

i have taken a bit of a step back which is why I made that post in the first place. I know that some pro-paras will see that post and think "well that kinda makes you pro-para"... I also do believe that even anti para posts shouldn't be tagged in the proship tag. I try not to do it so often..

for everything else you said, I pretty much do agree with

[ablednt]

is “empath” a term with any real meaning outside of like, pseudopsychology? a friend’s therapist told them they might be an empath and idk whether to be concerned or not

Definitely be concerned.

Okay so empath as far as I know started in new age/witchcraft circles as a "spiritual belief" and normally I say let people believe what they want but this is specifically the part of that community that is primarily cis white women and they’d be like "🥺 I'm an empath my spiritual gift is empathy which means I'm just TOO NICE to everyone." They would use their sensitivity and "picking up on everyone's aura/emotions" basically to avoid everything they did not like and to guilt trip everyone who inconveniences them.

Like when I was younger and empath as a term was starting to become widespread in the circle of cis white Christian women in my life they'd say things like "the Black Lives Matter protests are just too hard for me :(( there's so much anger I have to ignore all of it for my health."

I don't know when the spread to pseudoscience happened exactly but at some point white women who weren't into witchcraft still wanted an excuse to be racist (this happened before I heard about it since we weren't witches yet) so they took the term and applied psychology to it. Empath is %100 not in the dsm and it's not a disorder, let's be abundantly clear, however it was very quickly mistaken for hyperempathy so a lot of people got told they were an empath. Said white women in my life told me I was an empath to ignore the clear autism and ADHD (+BPD) symptoms that were giving me all these intense emotions. I casually used those terms for a while as a teenager but never fully immersed myself in the bullshit also hilariously got gatekept by empaths before because they could sense my autism from a mile away and it was primarily an ableist community.

Anyway another shift happened and I don't exactly know what the cause of this was either but it pretty readily has to do with empath at its source being thinly veiled white fragility but at some point terfs got ahold of it and like a lot of them. Terfs were busy painting the picture that anyone outside of cis womanhood (but of course, especially trans women and anyone else perceived as a man short of cis men themselves were the main targets) were "raging narcissists" because they're ableist as all shit of course.

So once they saw empath they latched onto it with a death grip because if everyone they didn't like was an abusive narcissist(tm) then they were delicate little empaths being abused. Because terfs one skillset is weaponizing their trauma against minorities this also made it's way into the ND community itself when the "survivor of narcissistic abuse" community was born and gained traction for a while. Then people who weren't terfs but only ever found these terms to describe emotional abuse started IDing as narc abuse survivors too and shit got real ugly.

Most recently a lot of people have realized that the concept of being an empath is really ridiculous and started satire posting about empaths and this satire was in turn taken seriously so now currently dunking on them is trendy and their numbers are slowly dwindling. Genuinely encourage everyone who wants to mock them and spread misinfo about them because it's funny and taking out a literal hate group.

But anyway to bring things full circle the white witches and pagans in the more appropriative circles (not just cis white women anymore) are complaining about having had their term stolen by terfs and ableists whilst doing nothing to examine the initial racism and other bigotry that caused it to spread in the first place. Like no compassion isn't your spiritual gift janet you just will die if you don't use that as a crutch for your lack of personality.

The only time empaths got any official recognition where books published about narcissistic abuse so if a therapist is referencing it that means they're getting their sources from a eugenicist hate group that wants to mass murder cluster Bs so that's a huge ableism red flag and they're not a safe therapist to talk to even remotely.

[whumpmatsus]

Hi I’m a silent fan who loves your work:) I’m too shy to say it directly but I do! I have possibly an odd request if you’d like to write it but you don’t have to if this is too out of your zone ;__; I headcanon ichimatsu as autistic because he displays a lot of behaviours I have with autism as well (low monotone voice, doesn’t really emote a lot,shown to be uncomfortable with being touched sometimes, difficultly saying verbally and directly what he means, even the way he sits with his knees right up to his chest LOL) I was wondering if you could write something to do with that if you wanted to! It could be anything like hurt comfort (have you ever seen the scene from the osomatsu game dead or working where ichimatsu and osomatsu get a job together and osomatsu yells at their boss for making ichimatsu feel bad that he’s not able to naturally smile and speak as expressively as his brother is by saying “that’s just how he is!!” ..I thought that was so sweet😢 maybe something along those lines but with any brother you want! But my personal favourite ichimatsu relationships are with kara, jyushi and oso lol)

Sorry that this is such a specific request you can reallt do whatever..I love your writing so much! Thank you!

hiiii, I'm so glad you like my content!! if you ever wanna come talk directly, I'm 100% okay with that, but as someone who's kinda shy myself I totally understand that it's not easy 💜

as for the request!! I don't know if this is a headcanon I'd subscribe to personally in my usual writing of Ichimatsu (my headcanons for him right now are depression and anxiety, social anxiety, and avoidant personality disorder) buuuuut it's definitely an interesting one to play around with, so I enjoyed exploring it, and I can absolutely see why it's a headcanon you have!

I'm not autistic myself (at least not that I know of; tho I do have some anxiety and maybe possibly undiagnosed ADD, but again, that's only a possibility so idk) so I hope I portrayed it ok, at least the behaviors Ichimatsu would have!

this is technically Allmatsu because DUDE all the brothers are so supportive of him, but it does skew a bit toward Parkamatsu because... well, I haven't written a lot of Parkamatsu here yet XD

I hadn't seen this scene before because I've never played the game and had some trouble finding English subbed videos of people playing it, but I found an English subbed one of this scene this morning and AUGH MY HEART, OSO IS A GOOD BIG BROTHER FIGHT ME!!

I hope you enjoy!!! I tossed some brief NPCs in there too because I thought it would be cute lol

-

As far as the Matsuno sextuplets are concerned, even though Osomatsu can be a dumbass and a jerk sometimes, he’s the eldest. That gives him a little more (unofficial) authority within their little group. If he says something that’s not totally ridiculous, the rest of them listen. They follow his lead when it’s reasonable. He doesn’t know best all the time, but some of the time.

That ‘listen to the oldest brother when he’s not being a stupid ass’ effect is probably how they all ended up working in the same restaurant.

It’s a good idea, and Osomatsu made sense when talking about how they should all apply there. Maybe they could work in different departments, but if they’re all working in the same place, they can keep an eye on each other. It’ll be easier to talk to each other on lunch breaks… and maybe they can pull a couple silly pranks on their coworkers, pretending to be each other like they did when they were younger.

Besides, it’s time they all got jobs anyway, even if it’s just part-time. They’ve gotta start somewhere, after all. It’s been about a week since they started; they’re settling in pretty well. Osomatsu and Choromatsu are doing great as bartenders, Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu are hard at work in the kitchen, and Ichimatsu went along with Totty to be a server.

Everyone else seems to be doing pretty great. Ichimatsu, on the other hand, is half a step away from hating his job.

It’s not that he isn’t putting effort into it. He’s doing the best he can, and jobs aren’t supposed to be fun, sure, but… this goes beyond him simply not liking the job. It’s not a good fit for him, he thinks. His brothers are all enjoying their jobs, and meanwhile he’s struggling to get through a whole shift without running to the bathroom to cry.

In the single week he’s been here, he’s had so many customers complain about him. He doesn’t engage, he isn’t friendly, he speaks quietly and sounds like he’s bored, he slouches, he doesn’t laugh at people’s jokes… the list of complaints customers have about him is endless. Every day it’s something new.

He’s always been a little different from his brothers. He has trouble with anything social, and his face has never been as expressive as them unless he’s really feeling something ― forcing an expression onto his face is difficult for him. Even though he tries to work his life around it, and it doesn’t bother the people who love him, it’s a huge obstacle to his new job.

Every time Takeda-san, the general manager, tells him that he seems not to be doing well, Ichimatsu tries to defend himself by saying he’d be more comfortable working in the kitchen. He’d switch places with Jyushimatsu in a heartbeat, even though it would mean working with Karamatsu.

And every time, Takeda-san tells him no, he’s just not trying hard enough, that he has to do better at this job. “There’s no job-hopping around here, so just try harder,” he says, so Ichimatsu tries to double down on the effort he’s putting in.

It doesn’t really work, though. He’s already trying as hard as he can to do a good job. There’s really nothing wrong with his performance. He’s polite and doesn’t give customers attitude, he brings everyone the right food and corrects mistakes if he makes them, he tells everyone to have a nice day when they leave. It’s just that he doesn’t usually have a smile on his face, and his voice is a little flat, and he doesn’t connect in a personal way.

Seriously, what does Takeda-san expect? He’s doing the best he can. If he wasn’t trying as hard as he could, he’d have already given up on this bullshit. Even though it’s not the best job for him, he’s still putting in as much work as he can.

At least he and Totty are a pretty good tag-team working together. The restaurant is on the small side, so they share the main section. If one of their tables is ready to leave and whoever served them in the beginning is busy with another table, the other one will tap in to finish things. Right at the moment, Ichimatsu notices that Totty’s currently trying to get everyone at one table their food, while the table he got earlier looks like they’ve got their check ready.

At the moment, he just put in orders for his own table, so those won’t be ready for a few minutes. “Hey, Totty,” he calls as he steps away from the kitchen doors. “Want me to get the check from table 4?”

“Ah! Are they ready to pay? Sorry, this food just came out… yes, please, if you don’t mind!”

“Yeah, no problem.” He walks over toward the table, doing his best to collect himself; he can feel Takeda-san’s eyes on him from behind the cash counter. Table 4 is a young family with a couple of kids, and although they’re entertaining themselves, they also seem to be patiently waiting for someone to take their payment. “Hey, guys… sorry about the wait. You’re all set?”

The woman smiles and reaches to hand him the tray where the check is set. “It’s okay, hon, we haven’t been waiting long!” With her other arm she catches the whining child who presses himself into her side, laughing. “Yep, here’s the check and my card. Could we just get a receipt after you run it through?”

“Sure.” He takes the tray from her and moves to step toward the counter, then an afterthought pops up in his mind. “Oh, uh… there was nothing wrong with anything for you guys, right?”

The man, with the more energetic little girl clambering in his lap, beams. “No, no, everything was great. Our server was really attentive.”

Ichimatsu nods. “Okay, good. Be back in a minute.”

Practically as soon as he steps behind the counter to take care of the check, Takeda-san is grabbing him by the arm. He freezes up, only able to look at his boss in fear for a moment, then tries to pull his arm back. “Takeda-san? I’m just taking care of this…”

“Yeah, no. I’ll take care of it, because apparently, you can’t even follow simple instructions right.” The check and the woman’s card is snatched from his hand, and as Takeda-san processes the payment, he continues to scold Ichimatsu. It started out just loud enough for him to hear, but now the whole restaurant can hear it. “You just don’t listen, do you? Are you lazy? I get so many complaints about you, it’s unreal! I could just have your brother do your job, and it’d work out better. He actually knows how to smile and be friendly to people.”

When he steps out from the counter toward table 4, Ichimatsu can’t do anything except follow, looking and feeling a little lost. (Actually, what he feelsis two inches tall. This is nothing new and he hates it all the same.) “I’m not paying you to have that resting bitch face, to talk as if a little bit of work and serving people is an inconvenience for you.”

“But it’s not…” he mumbles, quickly looking down to avoid any eye contact his boss might try to give. “I’m trying my best.”

“Well, maybe your best just isn’t good enough, right?”

That sentiment makes Ichimatsu’s heart sink. As much as he gets nervous in social situations, he thought he was doing an okay job no matter what Takeda-san said. All his brothers are proud of him, and proud of each other. It’s not his fault that Takeda-san put him in a department that doesn’t quite mesh with his personality and strengths. “I could… go try being a dishwasher in the kitchen. Maybe I’d be better at that.”

“You’re joking, right? You’re so incompetent, I wouldn’t even trust you with that! If you can’t get the hang of something as simple as smiling, you’re a lost cause at any job!” Takeda-san sets the check tray back down on the table so that the customers can take their card and receipt. The action is coupled with a smile that looks so fake, Ichimatsu wonders if Takeda-san knows everyone can see right through it. Totty’s fake smile is better than that, for fuck’s sake. “I apologize for the service you received just now.”

With that, he turns back to Ichimatsu. “Listen, if you’re not more happy and welcoming by tomorrow, Ichimatsu, I’m going to have to let you go. If you can’t follow orders, there’s no place for you here.”

The woman in the booth, now trying to calm the clearly overstimulated child who’s still attempting to hide his face in her side, looks up at Takeda-san with a confused expression. “H-hey, what do you mean? There’s nothing to apologize for. He was just fine.”

Before she or Takeda-san can say anything else, suddenly Osomatsu is walking over from the bar area ― looking angry, with Choromatsu still behind the counter wearing an expression of shock. “You can’t fire him just for not smiling and shit! He’s not giving bad service; people just think they’re allowed to be jerks because he didn’t bend over backwards to be a happy robot for ‘em!”

Takeda-san’s face contorts in displeasure, even though he’s never had any issues with Osomatsu before. “Osomatsu, get back to your station. This isn’t any of your business.”

“Are you kidding me?! You’re being a dick to my baby brother, that’s the definition of my business! You’re mad ‘cause he doesn’t force himself to smile and he doesn’t talk all peppy, but he doesn’t need to do any of that to be good at his job! That’s just how he is!”

Takeda-san is having none of it. “Well, I hate to tell you this, but if that’s just how he is, then he’s not going to be here much longer, and I’d be surprised if he could find a job anywhere else.”

By this point, Totty is far beyond done serving his table and has gravitated toward the scene. “Hey, that’s not fair! Ichimatsu-nii-san is doing a great job. Whoever’s complaining about him probably just wanted something to complain about in the first place. I mean, didn’t you see how he noticed my hands were full so he came to take care of this table? He could have just ignored it and let me deal with it, but he was trying to take care of our customers.”

Ichimatsu shakes his head and takes a step back. “Hey… it’s okay. Osomatsu, Totty, don’t worry about it… if I get fired, then…”

“Ah, no!” Osomatsu reaches up, taking his uniform tie off before tossing it in Takeda-san’s direction. “You’re not gonna get fired, because you know what? We all quit! You’re not gonna treat one of us like crap and expect the rest of us to just be okay with it! Ichimatsu’s a good worker, and if you’re gonna fire him just because he’s not super smiley, then you don’t deserve any of us!”

He storms over and takes Ichimatsu’s hand. Despite feeling a little embarrassed by the scene, Ichimatsu can’t stop himself from shuffling closer to his oldest brother’s protective presence. “We’re outta here, Ichimacchan.” He turns his head toward the bar area. “Choromatsu, let’s go!”

As Choromatsu scurries over, giving stammered apologies to the customers he’s just served at the bar, Osomatsu marches himself and Ichimatsu toward the kitchen doors. “Karamatsu! Jyushimatsu!”

Both of them poke their heads out of the kitchen; it looks like the two of them are covered in flour from whatever they’ve been working on. “Ahahah, what’s up, Osomatsu-nii-san??”

“C’mon, we quit our jobs.” Osomatsu gestures for them to get over here with his free hand. “Takeda-san thinks Ichimatsu not smiling and talking in his normal voice is worth firing him over. So we’re all leaving.”

Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu’s aprons, along with Totty’s apron and Choromatsu’s tie, are thrown at the manager’s feet. “I suppose it was inevitable,” Karamatsu sighs dramatically, draping an arm over Ichimatsu’s shoulders. “We were never destined to stay in one place of employment forever. So as the winds of change blow, so must we be carried with them.”

Ichimatsu manages a soft chuckle, though a smile doesn’t come with it. “Ow… painful…” But he turns his head in against Karamatsu’s shoulder anyway, thankful for one more wall of protection.

“You lazy NEETs have been here for a week!” Takeda-san hisses. “Good luck if you think you’re getting a reference from me! If this is all it takes for you to walk out of a job, none of you will ever amount to anything!”

Jyushimatsu hurries behind Ichimatsu to ‘guard’ him from that direction, throwing his arms around Ichimatsu’s middle. “We will so, because we stick together! Ichimatsu-nii-san deserves a nicer boss than you, anyway!”

“L-let’s just get out of here, can we?” Choromatsu mumbles, hurrying up to join Osomatsu’s other side. “Sorry, Takeda-san, b-but… but you treating Ichimatsu like that is… r-really out of line. We can find somewhere else to work.”

Osomatsu scoffs and starts the walk out. “Yeah, that’s right! We can find a better place to work, and we don’t give a shit about your reference. But as for you, good luck not shutting down during the dinner rush when you just lost two-thirds of your evening employees because you decided to be an ass!”

Nothing more really needs to be said, so the six of them are out the door.

It’s already dark outside, and when Totty shivers, Ichimatsu immediately pulls him in for a hug. The youngest sighs as he cuddles into his big brother. “What a night. I didn’t know he was that bad… you don’t talk to your staff like that in front of customers!”

“You don’t talk to them like that ever,” Osomatsu huffs.

“Well, yeah, true. But definitely not where customers can hear you. Double bad boss points.”

Choromatsu frowns, patting Osomatsu’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. “What’s his problem, anyway? S-sure, Ichimatsu isn’t Totty levels of friendly and sociable, but he was giving pretty good service.”

Ichimatsu continues to try and hide against Karamatsu’s shoulder, earning a deep chuckle and a tighter embrace from his older brother. “You guys didn’t have to do that…”

“You didn’t even like that job,” Jyushimatsu hums. “He should have switched you and me, but he was being stubborn and mean! We’ll find an even better job. Maybe you can be an official kitty-petter! That’s a thing, right?”

This time when Ichimatsu laughs, his lips quirk upward a little. “I wish.”

A small part of him hates that just because of his own incompatibility with the job, his brothers all don’t have jobs now either. But… he sort of gets where they’re coming from, why they quit with him, because he wouldn’t want to work for someone who treated one of his brothers the way Takeda-san treated him.

The six of them stand there in the chilly night air for a moment, then the restaurant door opens.

It’s the family from table 4, with the man holding the little girl and the woman holding the little boy. As soon as they see the sextuplets, the woman’s face lights up and she races over toward them. “Oh, my God, I was hoping you guys hadn’t left yet! That manager… what kind of person treats other people like that??”

Ichimatsu stiffens up a little, shifting his eyes down. “Uh… I’m sorry.”

“For what? That was him being a horrible person, not you.” She shifts her child around for a moment to fish in her pocket, and Ichimatsu notices that the little boy seems to be avoiding eye contact the same way he knows he does. When the woman looks back up, her smile softens. “I don’t mean to pry, hon, but… are you, you know… autistic?”

Ichimatsu lets out a quiet hum and nods. “Yeah. I think that’s why I’m not…”

“Super expressive?” She returns the nod, gently bouncing her child. “This little one’s autistic too. His face doesn’t get that expressive either, and I know when someone tells him to smile or cry or ‘talk normal’, I get so mad. People shouldn’t treat each other like that. There’s no reason to just not be nice.”

Her other hand reaches out to him, pressing several bills into his palm. “Here, you deserve a little something extra after having to put up with that crap. I know it doesn’t make it okay, but… I hope the rest of your night gets better.” Her smile turns brighter as she looks toward everyone else. “And hey, if nothing else, there are a bunch of people who wanna stand up for you. Looks like you’ve got some pretty great brothers.”

Ichimatsu glances from the money toward his brothers, then back to the woman. For once, he manages a small smile of gratitude; it’s not big, but it’s noticeable, and the fact that it’s there means he didn’t have to force it. It’s real. “… Uh. Yeah. Thank you. I… hope you guys have a good night, too.”

A moment later, the young family has disappeared, presumably heading home to let their son decompress from the overstimulation. It was… nice of them to stop and say anything at all.

Everyone is silent for a moment, then Osomatsu grins as he ruffles Ichimatsu’s hair. “Alright! Drinks are on Ichimacchan! Let’s go get some beers, then we’ll find better jobs tomorrow!”

The group seems in agreement, so off they go down the street toward the nearest bar. Although Takeda-san’s words and treatment are probably going to stay with Ichimatsu for a while yet, he can shove them away with the memory of how fiercely his family defended him.

… I do have some pretty great brothers, don’t I?

[littledewdrops2]

I have a pisces moon, which is in an aquarius 12th house: How does your own 12th house moon feel?

Hi there :) That's the first time someone has asked me about my own placement. Precious, thank you for asking and I have so so much love for pisces moooons.

Lemme just preface this by expressing in general how I feel about the 12th.

I don't think having placements in the 12th means you aren't like xyz planet, or that you push it off onto other people I think planets in the 12th are planets that have inadvertently cause some level of suffering and become an uncomfortable place. "It doesn't serve me to show this because when I do xyz happens", because it's a cadent house coming before the 1st and the 1st talks of the self- body & soul and planets falling into cadent house can be over thought out/not given proper time without major effort on the native's part to develop in healthy ways. Planets here can almost be seen a hinderance to developing a secure sense of self and that's the reason for the self-sabotaging nature of this placement.

Also, a lot of the time with 12th house placements, I've seen the native develops ways to hide the energy in the 12th because of early experiences with other people denying whatever planet is there. For me it takes me a lot of time to trust others to be emotionally open to them and to even be comfortable around them. I'm not a large group kind of person because of that. And even just with this post, I'm sure I'll be concerned for a while after sharing so much like I do with all my posts where I over explain and spill my life story lmao.

I have a complicated relationship with it tbh, I have a well aspected taurus moon and I'm a very loving, soft person but not to myself. I used to try to do anything possible to avoid showing any sort of vulnerability because it was unsafe in my eyes. Why open myself to others, if painful shit is going to follow?

It's been an extremely long process to be open to others. I've been in both phases of denying myself when it comes to self-care, love, patience and kindness and being denied that by others.

I've noticed that a lot with mine, it's a very literal description of me as a child and my relationship with my mother. My mother was absent after years of traumatic bs. She was also institutionalized (for both her mental and physical health, on and off for many years) and then she left so it's quite a literal example ha. I was always the sensitive one as a kid and I was ridiculed because of that constantly too. I was called the invisible child all the time. Never had any needs or wants, never wanted to be a bother. It's still that way. My dad used to say I would cry with someone looking at me the wrong way and then for many years I didn't speak at all just from the anxiety of it all. I do have a moon/mercury opposition though and my mercury is conjunct pluto so that has a big influence too but I think a lot of that was also from my moon placement.

With suffering being a theme for the house, I think with me it's very much in the realm of suffering with a lack of comfort & nurturing. It's never been a thing in my family for anyone to check in with me. I don't get calls from them asking how I'm doing even if I'm there they don't ask lol. And that has followed to friendships and relationships because I was so familiar with the feeling. The flip side of the suffering theme is that I've always been a caregiver in either more extreme instances (injuries, illness) or emotional ones (from being the on-call friend for someone who struggles with ideation, to mothering others).

Bright side is that spirituality and being alone has always been an easy space for me. It's odd because the way I feel inside and what I outwardly express are vastly different and often I feel like I express clearly how I feel but that I'm just not heard. And this is why I like overlays to my 12th (depending on the planet), because I feel the understanding is more direct for me having this placement.

Now I'm not scared of being alone or doing the hard thing or going in those spaces where other people may struggle because it's been such a core theme to work through these things. And I give & give & give to who I'm able to form close bonds with. It takes a lot of effort to keep the balance in relationships though and it's easy to give more than I receive, and I have to actively try to express myself openly at times because I tend to be very in my head when things get too emotional or difficult and don't go to seeking out other people's help or support.

It's a blessing and a curse because of the work that has to go into it, I'm so much more emotionally stable now, but I envy other people who have an easy time expressing but at the same time, the practice helps me be there for other people. I don't explode, I can listen to others, and I have a lot of empathy for others, and it benefits my children and that's everything.

I think 12th house placements can always benefit from time to process, time to really feel things out, to express what's inside, to be around safe people who hear them & see them & value them. And realizing that you don't deserve to suffer (if that's the way it manifests), there is no reason for anyone to treat you poorly.

Therapy has been a life saver for me, it's been helpful to realize how hard I am on myself at all times, how much I keep inside and how often I say I'm fine when I'm not and just realizing I'm not a burden and that people who truly love you want to know those parts of you too.

Feel free to share your experiences, or if you can relate to any of it, if you feel comfortable. I'd love to hear it, and I'm sorry for such a lengthy response ha ha ha.

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Our Doll 8//fighting in the sky

B.Barnes x S.Rogers, B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

Series Synopsis | After the events of the horrific past, y/n Stark, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have finally admitted their feelings for each other. But is life as an avenger whilst dating two super soldiers any easier than anything y/n’s experienced in the past?

sequel Series to Their Doll

Series Warnings | smut, violence, torture, swearing, threesomes, drug usage/substance abuse

Chapter Summary | the Sokovia fight ends a little...differently.

Warnings | violence, blood, bullet wounds, death, swearing

A/n | This is a sequel book/series to my fic Their Doll! This book loosely follows the mcu timeline, starting in CAWS in book one and starting just before AOU in this book. Bucky had been recovered and is safe, and Peter was taken under Tony's wing when he was much younger.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Bucky was still on the floor, y/n crouched at his side with a hand cupping his cheek and a concerned look dancing across her eyes. She'd got him propped against a table leg nearby as he'd groaned and winced with pain, flesh hand covering the wound in his shoulder as his breathing got heavier.

Whilst y/n made a fuss, the argument continued and got heated. But she refused to leave him, so much so that when Steve tried to check on them she told him to deal with Tony and that she had Bucky. Or even when Thor arrived, ready to set her dad's plan in motion, of which he did. So now, there was a floating, living computer less than two meters away as Bruce tended to the wound.

They were going to find Ultron tomorrow. Save the world, etc etc. But for now, y/n was much to concerned for her boyfriend who she knew would've healed completely by the end of the hour. Steve knelt down beside her, taking a hold of y/n's free hand and placing a gentle kiss to it before offering her a smile.

"How're you doin', buck?" Steve said softly, looking into the super soldier's cerulean eyes. The brunet offered him a small smile, lips tugging up.

"I'm doin' okay, Stevie." He hummed, before his lips were smothered in a sweet kiss. Y/n still felt a tingle of warmth run down her spine every time she saw them kiss. It was passionate, despite lacking lust in the current situation, and still made a weak pang of arousal crawl down y/n's spine.

"I love you two, so much." Bruce had retreated by this point, so only y/n, Bucky, and Steve were left sat on the floor. Both men before her smiled widely, and Steve leant to give y/n a kiss to the forehead.

"We love you too." Bucky said, and y/n nodded with a tear in her eye. "We'll survive this; we always do."

...

When the cobbles began splintering, and the ground began shaking, and the buildings began crumbling, all I could do was gasp. Sharp and quiet, the sound barely reaching the ears of those around me as I froze in place from where I'd been ushering a group of children towards the bridge.

We'll survive this; we always do.

Then followed the screams. Shock, fear, pain. The beeping of cars, shattering of glass, clanging of metal, thudding off rubble. Even as those around me fussed - backed away from the edge - I stayed frozen. Eyes locked on the earth we were leaving behind, ears perked at the sound of snapping metal and breaking rock. We were going up, and there was nothing we could do about it.

"Sokovia's going for a ride." FRIDAY's voice echoed through the comm, but the words barely fell on my ears as I remained locked, paralysed.

"Y/n!" Sam's voice ripped me from my trance, his slender arms wrapping over my shoulder as he knocked me down just in time. We rolled onto the floor, his wings breaking our fall against the stone and cocooning us. The sound of an explosion pulled my head up, Clint stood facing us with his bow out - no arrow loaded.

My eyes drifted then, settling on the shards of metal around us and I figured out what happened.

"T-thanks." I mumbled, grabbing Clint's hand as he offered it.

"No problem. Now get you're head in the game, y/n. We're really gonna need all the help we can get." Sam replied, expanding his wings again before he was in the sky above us.

"You okay?" Clint asked, brown quirked. I brushed my arms off, nodding slowly to the man. "Okay."

I sighed out in relief, kicking at the metal before me before shaking my head and putting on a brave face. I took off, running towards a scream I'd heard.

"Stark you worry about bringing the city back down safely," Steve's voice rang in my ear, "the rest of us have one job: tear these things apart. You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed, walk it off." I let off a laugh, pulling a knife from it's sheath at my thing and raising my arm, pressing the blade into the robot's head and smiling at the cracklings sound of it shutting down.

"Nice speech, Stevie." I chortled through a smirk and Bucky chuckled. The woman before me strangled away and I watched after her before taking off again.

"Is he always so bossy on missions?" Bucky pondered and Sam's laugh could be heard through my earpiece.

"Yes he is." The Falcon sighed, and I could tell Steve was rolling his eyes with that ridiculous, toothy smirk.

"Remind me to punish you when I get home. Both of you." Steve sneered playfully and Tony gagged. Nat laughed.

"Ew. Please don't talk about your sex lives through the comms." Clint jeered disgustedly.

"Whatever you say, Captain." I smirked and Bucky chuckled again.

It was awhile before anyone spoke again, all wrapped up in crushing the robots. By now I'd found Bucky, and we fought back-to-back as Sam and Rhodey cleared the skies. Bucky held a gun in hand, shooting mercilessly at the gadgets as I threw knife after knife, never even missing once.

"Hey, Doll?" Bucky shouted over the noise as I sent another knife flying into a head.

"Yeah?" I called back, letting out a grunt as I rolled out the way of a bullet.

"D'ya think your powers work on these things?" Bucky asked again, turning around and shooting the one that still had its sights on me.

"Thanks. And I don't know, I haven't tried."

"Well maybe now is about time!" I heard steve voice through the comm again. That when I started to hum, that unfamiliar, dangerous tune. Bucky froze in space, gun lowered at we marvelled at the convulsing robots around us. Their heads crackled as spurts of electricity danced around them, before they all simtaneously exploded, pieces of flaming metal sent spinning through the air.

Bucky pulled me into him, crouching down and shielding us with his metal arm as a few stray pieces were sent towards us.

"Well, I'd say it works." Bucky mumbled through a laugh and I joined him, both of us straightening up and running in the direction of where steve was.

"So it works?" Pietro called down the comm, and I shared a look with Bucky.

"It fuckin's works." Bucky smirked before I interjected.

"Kind of. If people are in the vicinity they may get hurt. I'd only be able to use it on a good enough scale if we evacuate this thing." I said and Tony scoffed.

"What do you think we've been doing?" There was a silence again after that.

...

"Hey Steve!" Bucky yelled, waving the to blonde super soldier as he turned around from where he was stood beside Nat.

"Glad you like the view Romanoff. It's about to get better." I came to a halt at the sound of Fury's voice in my ear. Bucky stopped beside me, both of us only a few feet behind Nat and Steve as the whirring of Bucky's arm filled the silence.

Then we saw it. The ship rose gracefully through the clouds, big and glorious and full of the promise of victory.

"Fury you son of a bitch." Steve clipped and I heard Bucky's low chuckle from beside me.

"Oooh, you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I found myself laughing to at Fury's comment.

"This is SHIELD?" Pietro asked, entranced as he walked up beside us.

"This is what SHIELD is supposed to be." Steve affirmed and Pietro's smile just grew wider.

"This is not so bad." The lifeboats began landing, pulling up to the edge of the rock before Steve was barking orders down the Comm again.

"Let's load 'em up." So that's what we did.

...

It was so close. We were so close. Barley any civilians remained, the last of them just getting onto the last of the lifeboats at the moment. The plan to take out Ultron was in play.

Me, Pietro and Clint were the only avengers in the area, about to get on life boats ourselves when a woman began begging and crying.

"Her son isn't here. We need to find him." Clint mumbled quickly as he walked passed me, hand wrapping a round my bicep and pulling me with him.

"Well where could he be? We've looked everywhere!" I explained in a whisper, eyes wide with fear. I didn't like the idea of anyone dying by our hands, besides those horrid, evil robots.

"I don't know, just-" Clint cut himself off, his jittery eyes landing on the boy as he struggled and shouted for help. "Wait here."

And with that Clint was sprinting off, leaving me stood only a few feet from the edge as Pietro made sure everyone else was safely on the lifeboat.

"Shit." I murmured, reaching for a dagger, but my fumbling hand couldn't find one as I say the robot stagger towards Clint and the boy. "Clint!" I shouted, finally finding a knife sheathed in my back pocket and letting it slide from my hand, the rigid metal burying itself in the thing's skull. It shut down immediately, dropping to the floor. Clint raised an arm in thanks, quickly turning back to the boy to lift him up.

I found myself laying behind a nearby piece of rumble before I could make sense of it, winded and groaning as I peered over at the sound of the gunfire.

Where had it come from? The last of them should be dead now. My thought were racing, horrified. But it didn't compare to my disjointed scream. The blood staining Pietro's back was seeping, leaking onto his shirt as he swayed, his faint voice making the sob catch in my throat.

"You didn't see that coming?" My eyes drifted to the sky, the ship nearly out of my reach and the bottled, bubbling anger surfaced again. Only this time, I didn't let it simmer back down again.

We'll survive this; we always do.

The sound that tore from me could barely be described as a hum, let alone a song as the pained sound channelled through me.

You didn't see that coming?

A burst of light, a spark that set fire into a rapid succession of aguish; agony. A wave that knocked everyone to their feet, pushing Steve back as he ran towards Clint, who was hunted over Pietro's limp body.

Don't turn your back on me!

Lifeless, the bodies that sunk into the seats behind me enticed gasps from Clint as he slowly stood, eyes locked on the sight over my shoulder.

I love you two, so much.

I turned with a horrified, disgruntled noise. One of shock, pain, fear, guilt, dread all mixed into one horrid, ugly noise.

Ultron has won.

And maybe he has, because the sight before me  was not one of victory. He had succeeded in some form, no doubt. The wing of grey soaring past me causing me eyes to narrow, and my heart to shatter.

This is what SHIELD is supposed to be.

Taglists

Bucky Barnes Series/mini Series | @buckysgirl101 @quxxnxfhxll

Steve Rogers Series/mini Series | @buckysgirl101 @quxxnxfhxll

Join my taglist now! Uh

[ask-spider-man-61610]

Hey Specs, did you ever hang with the avengers? And, on an unrelated note, if you had would you have ever gotten your hands on any avengers authorization codes?

(Purely hypothetical, I'm not fighting a losing battle with code or anything here)

Did I ever--

Gwen, this is...this is me we're talking about. Someone with a borderline allergic reaction to the superheroes-as-celebrity phenomenon. I saw the Avengers on Oprah when I was twelve and felt myself seize up. The encounters I've had with them as a group have been purely professional, with teeth clenched. Individually, though:

I met Captain America on a rooftop when I was fifteen. Now, admittedly, I was an immature jackass at that point (as compared to the mature jackass I am now). So when he started expressing concern over an obvious child fighting people, my awe at being in the presence of a living legend quickly morphed into a more fuck-you-old-man mentality. Our argument there was the first of a few. Cap had a...an unshakable self-righteousness to him that I've never quite learned to like. But looking back on our encounters now, I can see that he was just trying to do the right thing. And I'm a bit ashamed that he died thinking I disliked him.

Iron Man, on the other hand, I'm quite pleased to be on bad terms with. Every single time I've met Stark, in or out of his tin can, he was trying to either fight me, buy my services, or use me as a lackey. The man's an egotist and a megalomaniac who's barely better than Norman Osborn, and the only reason the entire world doesn't see him as such is because he paid lip service to the idea of combating terrorism or stopping the expansion of HYDRA or whatever Cap was twisting his arm into caring about that week. I am so glad he's lost control of his company by now.

Thor is....they're hot. I don't know what else there is to say. They're outrageously, impossibly, mind-numbingly attractive, with that luscious red hair and those rippling arms and that firm bit of tummy fat and--I'm getting off track. I don't think I've ever had a full conversation with Thor outside of, like, a battle, but they've never given me a reason to dislike 'em. And the way they're summoning rainclouds to alleviate the California wildfires and put an end to droughts the world over is...it's good. It's really, really good.

Does Wasp count as an Avenger? I dunno. She was in the beginning, so I don't care if she says she's retired. I respect her as a scientist, I guess, but I don't particularly like her attitude as to what superheroes are supposed to be.

Mockingbird? I've never paid attention to Dr. Morse in my life.

Hawkeye? Clint was fine when he was alive, but I'm like 90% certain that he trained Bullseye in the ways of ridiculous supernatural accuracy so I'm blaming him for that. I like Kate, based on the, like, three times I've met her. Come to think of it, she was actually in Prison 42 when we were busting everybody out. I wonder which portal she escaped through.

Hulk? Listen. Banner needs to stop trying to suppress the poor kid and start trying to let him out in safe, comfortable environments. There's a reason why that alter is only ever seen in the midst of a violent, screaming meltdown. I feel sorry for the Hulk, and I'm frustrated with Banner for his part in that.

...And, of course, there was that time during the War of the Worlds when every superhero was drafted into in the Avengers to help fight the Chitauri. I'm never going to stop hating Nick Fury for that. But I...might have some old access codes from when I was a part of that?

I'm not sure. My laptop is in the back of Emjay's car, currently in...Minnesota, I think. I'll send you whatever I've still got once I'm back with her.

[thefuckisaid]

Hello there,

I wrote this silly little thing -like if i wasn't feeling pain in my hands or like if i didn't have another fic to update- i got inspired from "We own this city" series, where Jon Bernthal acts as Wayne Jenkins. So i said to myself, this would fit a Frankenbilly Au so fine. And here we are.

I wanted to post this first on AO3, but my browser couldn't load the page.

Enjoy!

WOTC!AU Part one

"In other news, a tragic history went down tonight when a group of armed men broke into lieutenant's Francis Castle house, killing his wife Maria and two kids, Lisa and Frankie. Last month, Lieutenant Castle led a successful raid into one of the Costa family night Clubs, arresting several members of the family and beheading the crime network. The attack to his house is believed to be Retaliation carried out by Costa's associates. Tonight Our thoughts and prayers are with lieutenant Castle."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Frank would never get used to the looks full of pity every person in this fucking department gave to him every damn day since his family died. He was miserable already, there was no need for the extra condolences.

It was a year already and most of these people's didn't even met his family before they were murdered.

He crossed the parking lot, coffee in hand and ready for a new day in the NYPD.

Ever since his family died, he focused on his job, nothing could stop him from taking revenge on those Costa assholes. If he had gotten it his way, they'd all be dead, not in prison. But sadly, some of them turned themselves in before he could get to them. Bunch of cowards.

He crossed the main entrance and went straight to the center room of the precinct, the assignations were delivered from the mouth of a so called Superior.

When he crossed the door, all the eyes in the room turned around to look at him. And Frank hated it but avoided all the eyes by focusing on the strange man who apparently was giving some sort of speech before he arrived.

Frank took note, dark deep eyes, black hair, he had a little button in the tip of his nose and his mouth was surrounded by a slight trimmed beard, he was wearing a fancy suit. If Francis had to make a bet, he'd bet that this man was a federal.

"As i was saying, I'm here only to investigate a specific case, please don't mind me. I'm here as a coworker and if i can help with anything please let me know" Frank stayed at the entrance, hearing this guy talk. Whenever it came to investigations, he wasn't really unsettled. He knows how things work.

"Well thank you, agent Russo. Time to work gentlemen." The old man that was his captain dismissed everyone only to call his name at the last moment "Francis, come here. This is agent William Russo, he's with the FBI"

"I've heard a lot about you, lieutenant" The FBI extended his hand once Frank was in at a reachable distance, Frank held it for a second before looking at his superior again.

"I still don't know how this concerns me" Frank crossed his arms and kept looking between the captain and Russo.

"This man is going in patrol with you starting today." The captain said and right before Frank could articulate his negative, Russo started talking.

"Let me explain. The FBI is worried about all the reports about excessive use of force against you, I'm just here to make sure you behave and see why all the reports never make it to the court" With each word, the smirk in Russo's face seemed to get bigger and bigger. Frank already hated the man.

"This is a fucking joke right? Tell me this a damn joke because it's ridiculous." He avoided Russo's eyes and stared to the other man "Cap this is bullshit-"

"Are you afraid of an FBI agent?" Russo interrupted him, hands in the pocket of his trousers. "Or you got something to hide?"

"Listen to me, pretty boy. You don't know shit about how things get done here. I already have a patrol partner and let me tell you something, all those reports? Never make it to court because there was nothing to judge. You're only wasting everyone's time"

Both of them moved forward a couple of inches, ready to snap.

"Gentlemen, please. Listen, there's no need to make this difficult for everyone involved." Captain turned to Frank. "Curtis is in his vacation time, once he gets back he'll be paired with someone else until the FBI gets sure that we don't have nothing to hide"

"I'm here only to do my job, like everyone else. Don't make this uncomfortable, Francis" Russo smiled once again and patted his shoulder. "I'll wait in the car"

Frank stared at the man's back until he was out of sight, then turned to his superior. "Why i wasn't notified before?"

"The notification arrived this morning, he was the messenger." The old man rubbed his temple and sighed. "Listen Frank, it's only a couple of weeks at most. Just refrain from giving attitude to people, alright?"

"In how many problems I'd got if i kicked an FBI agent?" Frank resigned himself, he just needed to play it cool for a while.

"Too many, too many"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

"So, Francis. Why so quiet?" William Russo was a thorn in his side, it's been three days since he arrived and the man only pushes the limits of his patience.

"I have nothing to say" Frank drank from his bottle of water and looked outside the window, gazing everywhere but Russo's face.

"Francis Castle, born Castiglione. Italian parents but he's all American, born and raised in NY. Became an orphan at 18, so he enlisted the USMC, he did eight years before getting married to Maria Elizabeth Castle who was currently with his first child. He chose the PD to spend more time with his new family And soon they had a second child. Castle had a successful career that peaked when his team dissolved the Costa crime family." William paused reading and lift his eyes to his left, only to see Frank's shining brown eyes. The slight red tone in his cheeks -one Billy grew accustomed whenever Francis was pissed- and the frown in his face made his eyes look smaller "That was right before they killed your family, right?"

"Stop right there, what the fuck you're doing man?"

"What the fuck I'm doing? Im reading" Billy put his phone back on his pocket while Frank tensed up at his side.

"Yeah, what the fuck? reading my file to me like if you knew every last bit of my life and acting like an asshole"

"What, Frankie-boy got his feelings hurt?" Frank muttered something and got out of the car, naturally, Billy had to follow him.

"C'mon Frank, I'm just trying to do my job and you're not making it any easier" Castle had his back against the side of the car, his vest made him look bulkier, even when Billy was an inch taller he's sure he looked skinny compared to Castle.

"Your job ain't my fucking problem" Frank took a pack of cigarettes out of his vest pocket and lighted it.

"It'd become your problem soon if you don't cooperate" At that, Frank threw the newly lighted cigarette and put his face way too close to Billy's, caging him between his body and the car.

"Is that a threat?" Billy looked down at the man's face, studying his features. Plumpy pink lips, crooked nose, high cheekbones and dark brown eyes shining with anger.

"Its a prediction for your future" Billy moved his right hand to Castle's chest pushing him backwards "And never get into my personal space, it's uncomfortable"

"I got a prediction too" Frank got closer again and whispered "Whatever you want from me, you won't get it"

•••••••••••••••

Part two

[the-pallid-king]

He closes his eyes when your fingers push deeper, savoring the touch, and he finds your hand when you sit, lacing his fingers through yours. Sometimes he wonders about how much he likes touching you, being near you, with you. He never gets tired of it, and he wonders if it has anything to do with them having shared a body. He can’t imagine wanting that much closeness with anyone else.

His head tilts. “I’m not sure it matters if it’s dumb. If it’s instinctual, you can’t help it anyway.” He smirks a little. “I thought I pissed you off for a minute.” Not that he knew how, and he realized it wasn’t aimed at him fast enough.

And he knew you liked kids better than adult humans, but it’s strange to hear you admit it. He chews the inside of his lip while he considers how to answer. “That’s exactly what I was picturing, but it sounds ridiculous now. But I don’t know, you’re not very social, and a kid is permanent. What if you didn’t like it? There’s no going back.” He just didn’t expect you to agree so easily and so soon, and without him even meaning or intending to ask. “It’s just good to know, I guess. I don’t have plans or anything. I’m not even sure how we’d work that out. Or who would want to.” It’s not just a big deal for him or you. It would be a big deal for someone else, too. He kind of glances at you. “And… what if I didn’t want it to be a kid Kon made? What if I wanted it to be a choice I made? Something I did.”

He’s wishing they had a blanket when you lean into him. Instead, he just tries to be as comfortable as possible, while lightning streaks too far above them to see anything but the reflection sparking across other buildings.

He glances down at your hand when it finds his, closing his fingers around yours in a motion too loose to be a real grip.

He shrugs. "That might be true, but I literally put myself in this position. I brought up bringing it with us. I don't intend to take back my offer to keep it with us, so I need to get over it." He looks away from their hands and frowns at you, then shakes his head. "I wasn't mad at you." It takes a lot for him to be mad at you, and even when it does happen, his temper fizzles out quick where you're concerned.

He huffs a sound somewhere between laugh and offense. "Even if I had a tail, a small little human wouldn't make me tuck it." The rest of that is more fair, but he shrugs about it. "I'm not social in big groups, but I do fine with you, did fine with the little girl across the hallway, or with the few hollows I'd call friends. I could learn." And he'd disagree about a child being permanent. Humans are far from permanent. But he gets what you mean. "You're permanent too. It hasn't been a problem." He makes a face, but the question deserves some thought. "Probably best if Kon doesn't make it." Even in your body, but you definitely stumbled across the part that's most likely to bother him. It would mean sharing you. On one hand, it's your choice, you're your own person. On the other hand, he wants to keep you all to himself in all ways. "Uh. I dunno. Does it have to be like that? Couldn't we just pick one out?"