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#I don't know if you relate more to the 'Scared of my parents for praising that' or the 'Scared that I was okay with that' part
gxlden-angels · 4 months
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do you have any thoughts on the story of abraham and isaac? my parents talk about it and praise abraham for being willing to kill his son which..... scares me to say the least, and i'd love to hear your perspective as someone who seems more well-adjusted
Where I am now, it disgusts me more than anything. The interpretation of "I'm willing to sacrifice your life if I was told to" feels like the step before "I put you into this world and I can take you out of it." It's entitlement to a child, who is an independent individual, just because they are dependent on you for survival. I prefer the interpretation of understanding the actions you're taking and the reasons why (like how there's multiple religions that don't eat pork because it was so unsafe to eat at the time), especially if it's at someone else's expense.
Where I was in the thick of it all, it gave me morbid comfort that scares me now. I had fantasies of being a martyr for the church and the idea of being the next Isaac was just so appealing. Being a hand-selected sacrifice chosen by the Good Lord Himself? Sign me the fuck up, babey!
I think if I admitted that to my family, they'd be horrified.
It's another one of those stories or beliefs where I think the majority of christians just regurgitate what they've heard. It's a point of pride and devotion, but there's no personal reflection or cross-cultural awareness of it. Lean not unto your own understanding and whatnot. It's the potential that scares me the most, like the Quiverfull movement with the Duggars or Turpins. I'm sure there's stories now, but I can't remember them off the top of my head
(Also I will be telling my therapist someone on Tumblr called me "more well-adjusted" thank you anon)
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the-defendery-189 · 3 months
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ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS #2
Sag moons are often so carefree they might not take responsibility for their actions, be the perfect example of this Vivziepop.
I dunno how is astrology related to this, but I'll offer my neck it's the Scorpio sun - alll Scorpio suns I know do this - when somebody calls them out on something, they're never the problem and always try to save their face by calling the accusations bullshit, even when it's blatantly obvious they're wrong.
Also, a lot of Scorpio suns hate people just constantly criticising everything and despise the cinema sins and criticism of movies/books/ect culture.
Your 4th house sign is the relationship you have with your mother and 9th house the same with your father. Take it like your sun(dad) and moon (mom) sign, just better --- like seriously, mine are in the signs that my parents actually have.
Gemini are like the freakiest signs, but can piss a lot of Scorpios off. They can like do a lot of sex impulsively an be just too flirty and cutesy - which they themselves can find cute, but, sadly, the Scorpios - probably the only sign to do so - I'm also thinking capricorn but I never saw it irl - don't. They can also piss them off with their fake bullshit a lot. Scorpios are all about truth and raw and real things and Geminis talky falsely gossipy, twisting all the true things nature, goes directly into it and seeps into their veins like a venom.
Also, even if the scorps are extroverted, with people like Gemini and sags they suddenly are so closed off and introverted in comparison to them. And not even that they become like so closed off and detached BCS they're uncomfortable with them, no, just they can be the most comfortable and still be just more quiet in their presence.
Also, Geminis have the same with Leos and Pisces imo.
Also geminis are definitely more freaky in bed than scorps, even they are sometimes scared of them.
Leo suns can hate pisces suns a lot, they can view them as fake, sly and just straight up disgustingly manipulative and egocentric.
Sag suns are literally so imaginative, like the most creative sign I know imo, actually more than pisces who get praised for this a lot.
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pov: you're a vampire girl who's unrequitedly in love with shuu sakamaki
"I always watched over you from afar because you seemed like my love. I thought you felt the same way, although you were looking somewhere else."
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A/N: As part of celebrating Shu's birthday, I decided to finally post this headcanon that I've been having. Btw thanks to @crookedherringcolorclodthe2nd and @whitechocolatemochaasblog for encouraging me to continue this headcanon 'cause this one really sounds like a Wattpad novel lol
you were from a prestigious and reputable vampire noble family and as such, you were always expected to behave a certain way
like you're supposed to sit like this, you should never open your mouth so wide when you're laughing, you should never curse
you know... that sexism sht
it was until when you turned 13 that your parents introduced you to the Sakamaki bros
ofc you were kinda scared of them bcos they're Karlheinz's sons and one wrong move your head will be sent rolling on the ground
but apparently it all turned out well cause all of them treat you as their "onee-san" (esp the triplets and Subaru)
but you are mostly close to Shuu, like you two are practically bestfriends
though you end up having this crush on him bcos he looks exactly like your ideal prince charming from all those fairytale books you've been reading, plus he praises your singing skills
what's more, you could relate to each other bcos both your parents pressure you into becoming their perfect children
one day, Shuu told you that his mom opened the topic of him being in an arranged marriage, w/c kinda made you sad a bit
but then he said "You know, I wouldn't mind if you were my bride. After all, we already know each other. Plus, you're my bestfriend."
hmm you don't know if it's romantic or not
so your friendship continued... well, until they were sent to the human world to learn a thing or two abt mortals
but you two would still send letters to each other sometimes
and after many years, your parents told you they accepted Karlheinz's proposal of engagement between you and Shuu
ofc you were happy bcos you had a crush on him for a long time and you knew that he is willing to undergo this kind of situation as long as the bride was you
so you were sent to the Sakamaki manor to cohabitate with him and learn a thing or two abt his new life, and ofc you also go to school with them
ofc you knew abt Shuu's trauma and past experience, plus the pressure Beatrix had put on him, basically you thought you were the closest person to him
in fact you're the only one who still calls him Ririe
until you saw another side of him, like he makes perverted jokes, he worked as a cashier, he pretends to be asleep so he could prank Yui that he died (y do u do this)
and most of all, it was a shock to you that Shuu was in love with someone else
and with a mortal from the school nonetheless
this made you question yourself like why he's in love with a lowly mortal and not you, but at the same time, you can't blame him bcos the girl was a pretty ball of sunshine and you wanted him to be happy
so you distanced yourself from him, even moved out of the manor and rented an apartment unit near the school so you can stop yourself from falling deeper
and for some reason, things got a bit weird bcos Shuu suddenly showed up in his classes and even managed to get high grades (Reiji doesn't know if he will be relieved by this or not)
and whenever there are partner projects, you push him to choose that mortal girl, but he always picks you bcos you're his friend, he knows you better than anyone etc
you just wish he would stop being so kind so you can mend your broken heart easily
then a dance party at school was announced, something like going in pairs
during PE, you heard that this mortal girl was single, prob broke up with a cheating bf and decided to ask Shuu
and then a few days after that, you heard other girls from class say Shuu already has a date to the party
so you're dreaded going to said party like you can't pretend you don't like him and you're happy for them
the triplets were aware of your distress so Ayato said "If you don't come to the party, then it's like you're letting him get to you."
Laito "If you don't have a date, then we can be your bodyguards, you know? Plus, we have Subaru who will shoo away your pesky suitors."
so the party came and yes, you were guarded by Subaru and the triplets
Shuu was constantly asking you for a dance (woooow this is new) but you were like "Laito wanted me to dance with him" "I'm gonna go eat first." "I don't like the song. Maybe the next one."
like you're constantly pushing Shuu to that mortal girl
you even grabbed poor Kanato who was abt to eat his cake to the dance floor
thank heavens you didn't get murdered
"Why are you dragging me to your unprogressive love life issues?" "Sorry, Kanato-kun. But please, I don't want Ririe to keep pestering me. I want to move on, you know."
Kanato just sighed and when he twirled you around, he suddenly pushed you
ofc you felt someone catch you and judging by the way this person sighed, you knew it was him
oh no
so you and Shuu danced and you were like "Why are you sticking with me? You should ask that girl out. You said you like her, remember? Plus, she's your date, right?"
"She's not my date."
"Eh? So you didn't ask her?"
but before you could ask further, the mortal girl approached you two, telling Shuu how he lied that he doesn't have a date for the party when he's clearly dancing with you
it was a misunderstanding
he was supposed to ask her, not you
so you run off to the hallways to save face, with him following behind you
istg Reiji and the others watched the two of you like a movie scene ("Good grief, these two.")
when Shuu managed to catch up after you, he asked why you left like that and you kept making excuses like you had an emergency situation or you remembered leaving something in your apartment
"Y/N, just stop it. We need to talk."
"We have nothing to talk about, Ririe."
"Yes, we do. You keep avoiding me. What's wrong with you? You used to tell me everything."
and out of frustration and pent-up feelings, you kissed him... then it turned into a full-blown makeout session
but afterward you let him go, your face red and tears flowing from your eyes as you said
"I hope that explains everything that I wanted to say."
and he never saw you after that
you moved out of your apartment, you stopped going to school
he even contacted your parents but they said they don't know where you went
however, you informed them that you were still somewhere in Japan
and yes, you are still willing to go with the engagement (ofc you would bcos you don't want to face Karlheinz's wrath)
Shuu spent his days longing abt you, and it took him weeks before admitting that you were really special to him, even more than that mortal girl
but he wasn't in love with you... at least not yet
after 3 months, the boys were sent out by Karlheinz on a forced vacation in Hokkaido, something about bonding in a hotel with onsen and all that stuff
Subaru locked himself up in his coffin while Reiji proceeded to arrange all the things they've brought to the hotel
the triplets decided to go to an izakaya bar to have fun
and yes Shuu tagged along bcos he didn't want to be alone reminiscing thoughts abt his last moment with you
so when they came into the bar, the triplets suddenly stopped walking, making Shuu bump into Ayato
"Oi Ayato, move it-"
and then he heard that familiar singing voice and when he looked up he saw you on stage singing Tomorrow Never Dies by Sheryl Crow
as you sang the chorus, your gaze met with his and it brought back all the memories you two had from the beginning until you ended it with a kiss
no worries because you managed to choke out the few last lines while staring directly at him
"I see it in your eyes, tomorrow never dies."
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If I were on the Films To Be Buried With podcast:
What was the first-ever film you saw, or remember seeing? Mulan. I remember the screen being really big, but I think maybe I was just small. I got a happy-meal toy of the fat bloke that would trundle along on wheels if you pulled a string (unlike the character in the film who didn't actually have wheels). And I got the CD-ROM tie-in game, my favourite bit being the level when you pick Mulan's outfit to meet the matchmaker. Then I got older, the toxic masculinity set in, and I felt retrospectively embarrassed for liking something girly.
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What was the film that scared you the most? We watched The Mummy one Christmas Eve when I was in primary school as my parents had heard it was a fun family romp. The opening 5 minutes were so fucked up I didn't sleep for a week. I like being scared now though. I love the first part of Ghost Stories, the one with Paul Whitehouse in an asylum at night with his torch flickering out. I remember thinking "I've peaked! I can't physically be more scared than this!"
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What was the film that made you cry the most, and are you a cryer? I'm not usually a crier but I like it when it happens. I know it's a cliche but I always cry at Up. Bereavement's my trigger. I always get a bit choked up at Tiny Tim's death in The Muppets' Christmas Carol but last year my wife and watched it shortly after the death of a close friend and we wept buckets.
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What is the film that’s made you laugh out loud the most? I recently watched The Man With Two Brains for the first time. I love that kind of silly comedy where ridiculous things happen but the characters take it seriously, no one's rolling their eyes or saying "that just happened". Also RRR is unintentionally hilarious and I love it for that.
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What film is underrated but you love it? A Knight's Tale never gets the praise it deserves. It's a fun, sincere, exciting, historical-romantic-comedy about jousting. Everyone in the cast gives it their all, especially Paul Bettany, and the needle drops are sick.
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What is the film you once loved but watching it recently you realise it’s not great? I watched Donnie Darko in primary school as a sort of entry-level horror film (in that it had a creepy bunny-man and a few jump-scares) and thought it was really deep all through my teens. It was my favourite film for a long time. But I watched it recently and it's just kind of pretentious, with nothing going for it but great music and good ensemble cast and a lot of teen angst.
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What is the film that means the most to you, not because of the film itself, but because of the memories, you have of it? I've got two films I associate with break-ups. I saw 500 Days Of Summer at a time when I was listening to a lot of Los Campesinos and thought it was cool to be cynical about romance. My girlfriend and I broke up the next day. Two years later, I came home after breaking up with my second girlfriend. My dad poured me a whiskey and we watched the 2005 Pride And Prejudice, just cos it was on TV. It's not a great film but it took my mind off the break up.
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What is the sexiest film? I never really found films sexy until I saw Steven Soderbergh's Out Of Sight. George Clooney's a fugitive and Jennifer Lopez is an FBI agent trying to catch him, but they fancy each other so much that they meet up in a hotel to have sex anyway. The music is so frigging good.
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What’s a film that isn’t probably supposed to be sexy but you found yourself turned on by? Mind your own business!
[EDIT] There's something about Mrs Tweedy from Chicken Run...
Which film do you most relate to? Eighth Grade. Like Kayla, I was a social pariah for some of my teenage years and it felt like that was just the way it was, I would never have friends. But, like a lot of problems it turned out to just be temporary. If you keep putting yourself out there, stay patient, and don't lose hope, you'll get there in the end.
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Which film is the one you’ve watched the most? Probably The Fellowship Of The Ring. I remember my mum walking in on me watching the video going "really Dom?! That's the second time this week!" I'd have friends over and we'd reenact the council of Elrond: "So I'll say 'You have my sword' and then you be Legolas and say 'and you have my bow'..."
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What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? If there's a genre I can't get behind, it's biopics. They often assume you already like the subject so don't bother making them likeable as a character. The worst of all is Good Vibrations. It makes out Terri Hooley to be a smug, cocky prick who everyone's in awe of despite him treating them all like shit. I've rarely wanted to punch a character so hard.
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Which film is objectively the greatest ever? It's tough, but I'm gonna go for O Brother Where Art Thou? Great performances, incredible music, hilarious comedy. The use of colour grading revolutionised the post production process. I love how it makes fun of its characters, except when they're singing - that it takes seriously. Even the villainous KKK leader gets a song and, weird as it is to say, that guy can really croon.
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chosonore · 3 years
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infatuation
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infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]
pairing: kamo choso/f!reader
summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]
wordcount: 23.3k
content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]
a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)
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"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"
you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).
even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.
"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"
"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"
"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.
you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?
"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.
"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.
"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."
"really? you can hire tho-"
"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.
"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."
"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"
"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."
"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.
"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-
"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.
"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"
"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."
nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.
"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."
"i see. is this a formal event?"
"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"
"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"
"uh i-"
nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."
you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.
"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.
"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."
"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."
"i don't-"
nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"
"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."
"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.
"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.
"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"
"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."
"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.
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the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."
"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"
although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.
not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.
"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"
"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."
"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"
you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.
"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."
"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"
you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.
“is everything okay?”
“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”
on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.
“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”
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for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.
“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”
nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.
"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.
“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”
the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.
“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.
“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.
“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”
you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"
“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.
“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”
humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”
“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”
“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”
“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”
surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.
"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.
“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.
as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.
"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?
“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.
seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.
“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.
“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”
“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.
“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?
“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.
“i’m sorry that-”
“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”
giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.
when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”
“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.
before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”
“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”
choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.
“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”
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nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.
the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”
“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”
“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”
“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.
choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?
to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.
you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.
"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.
wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.
"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.
"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.
choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.
“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”
a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.
seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.
dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.
“oh.”
“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”
“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”
choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.
carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”
your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.
“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”
you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-
his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”
“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”
choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”
“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”
choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.
“if you want to, of course.”
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now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.
choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.
you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.
silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.
“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.
the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.
choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"
"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.
"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.
"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.
“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.
“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”
before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.
with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”
choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”
“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”
steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.
something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.
you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"
"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."
"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.
"thank you."
"for what?" choso sounded surprised.
"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."
“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”
he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.
“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”
you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”
“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”
sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.
thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”
“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”
“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.
your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”
“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.
after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.
“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”
“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”
“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.
“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”
choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.
“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.
“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”
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“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”
“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”
“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”
“nope! not at all!”
“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.
“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”
wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.
“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.
“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”
you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.
everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.
knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him
“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”
your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”
“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”
choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”
“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.
choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.
pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”
reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.
“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.
"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."
you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.
languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.
it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.
“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”
you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”
“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.
choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.
choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.
“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.
slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.
while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”
“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.
slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”
you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”
“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”
“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”
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“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.
you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again
“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.
“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.
your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-”
“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”
you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”
“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.
“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.
“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”
“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”
you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”
“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”
one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.
the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”
choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”
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the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.
“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.
“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”
“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”
“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”
“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”
deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.
as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.
it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”
“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”
“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”
choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”
“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.
choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.
“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.
“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”
“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.
“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.
eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.
unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.
choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.
“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.
choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.
you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.
it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.
"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.
"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"
choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"
you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?
"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."
"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."
"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"
"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."
his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.
“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”
choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.
sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.
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weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.
out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”
“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.
“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”
“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”
all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?
“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.
“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”
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in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.
“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”
“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.
“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.
“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”
“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”
a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.
“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.
you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”
“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”
“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”
swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”
“that’s-!”
your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”
suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”
choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”
your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.
“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”
“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.
you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.
“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”
you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.
“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”
you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.
“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”
choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”
over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”
“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”
“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”
“it would be an honour, princess.”
with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.
he was perfect and he was yours.
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p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!
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Study Buddies 📖
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While waiting to study at the house of Todoroki you run into your friend's older brother.
Todoroki Touya x F. Reader [Quirkless AU]
Warning: Smut Ahead💋👇🏻; Oral sex(Receiving); Praising; Barebacking; Creampie [18+]
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"Uggh, it's soo frustrating, Fuyumi!" You sat with your elbows propped on the hard library table as you rubbed circles into your temples. "All they do is yell anymore. Day in and day out." You closed your eyes hoping for some reprieve from your headache. "I wish I could afford to live on campus. Why does college have to be so expensive?" Todoroki Fuyumi nodded in agreement. "I know, I wish I lived in the dorms too. I just do too much at home now, though." You let out a sigh and opened your book to the chapter the two of you planned on reviewing. "Sorry. I'm whining like a baby. We can get started." 
Fuyumi, being the sweet young lady she was, rested her hand on your shoulder reassuringly. "It's no bother, [Name]. I'm hear to listen whenever you need." The two of you shared warm smiles. However yours faltered a bit as you watched her eyes fall to the floor solemnly. "Besides, I can relate. It was like that in my house when I was younger." Of course she snapped out of it and put on her cheery smile. "I'm just grateful things are much more quiet now." 
You watched her as she then opened her book as well. In your head you imagined the booming voice of her father, Todoroki Enji. That would be enough to scare any child. At least it would've frightened you anyway. You hadn't met you college classmate's dad yet, but heard him speak briefly on television before as he was trying to be interviewed. He was a big, intimidating guy. While your parents fighting had grown to impede on your schoolwork, in your imagination it was hard to recreate whatever chaos Fuyumi lived through in that household over her life.
She had opened up to you about some things. Not so much her past, but the goings on of more recent current events. You know her father was now 'number one' richest CEO in the country after being 'number two' for...well, as long as you could remember. He was still stoic and stand offish, but her father had made a point to atone for how he treated his children. It seemed the oldest and youngest of her siblings suffered by his actions most. Fuyumi and her brother Natsuo were simply ignored. It actually made your blood boil. Fuyumi was the sweetest, and you had met her brother Natsuo. He was super nice as well. They didn't deserve any bad treatment.
You were broken out of your thoughts but the snickering of a group of guys nearby. Whatever talk was going on amongst them they found it quite entertaining. A sharp 'shhh' from the nearby librarian had them quieting a bit, but their loud whispers were still outrageously annoying. You noticed Fuyumi was looking over at them as well. A moment later your eyes met and you shared a knowing look. "Hey, I have an idea.", she began as she leaned in toward you, "Wanna go study at my house? No one will be home until tonight so we won't be disturbed."
You don't think you could nod your head fast enough. "Let's go." The thud of your book could be heard as you slammed it shut, despite how soft you were trying to be. The two of you collected your things and loaded up your bookbags before heading out into the afternoon sunlight. You had made it to the bottom of the library's front steps when you heard Fuyumi exclaim 'Oh shoot!' from behind you. Turning to glance over your shoulder you looked on as Fuyumi held her arm up and she stared at the expensive watch on her wrist. "Everything ok?", you questioned and you saw her face twist into an expression of realization. "I forgot I was supposed to stop by my father's office." She sighed and dropped her arm before looking to you. "You can come if you wa-.." 
Noticing you flinch slightly at her words she stopped before she finished her sentence. She knew you had no desire to be anywhere near her father, let alone his office building. She pursed her lips as she thought for a moment before grabbing the pen that rested behind her ear. "Here.", she stated as she grabbed your hand, flipped it over and wrote a sequence of numbers on the back. "That's the code for my house. You can head over and get started if you want. I'll be there in an hour probably." You shrugged and gave her a 'Sure.', figuring that was probably your best option anyway.
"You remember where I live right?" Yes, you remembered where she lived. You had picked her up there before a time or two. So naturally you nod and she gives you her sweet smile. "Make yourself at home while you're there." Giving each other a quick wave you both depart, going in opposite directions. You each parked in different parking lots on campus. So you climb into you car. It's not nearly as modern as Fuyumi's is but you didn't come from money like she did and it gets you from point A to point B. You start the engine up and carefully pull out onto the busy road.
It's only after a short drive later that you pull into the driveway to her family home. The Todoroki manor is expansive and stately; it impresses you every time you see it. You climb out and slam the driver door shut, it's the only way you know it'll stay closed, and begin your march to the front door. You pass through the majestic gardens out front. The ones that you know surround the entirety of the estate. Once you close in on the front door you see the small panel to the side that's nearly at eye level with you. Lifting a small plastic piece serving as a cover over the buttons you glance at your hand to remind yourself of the numbers she wrote before punching them in. You're met with a few quick, high pitched beeps and greeted with a little green light informing you that you did it correctly. A small, proud smile graces your lips and you quickly reach for the doorknob and enter. You make sure to get inside in the allotted time before the light disappears and you have to enter the numbers again lest you risk setting off the alarm.
Once inside you find it a stark contrast to your own family home. It's silent and almost unsettling. You've become accustomed to walking into a war zone. Yelling and screaming, cursing and demeaning from sun up until well after you've tried to go bed. The atmosphere is neat and the decore is expensive. It almost doesn't seem like the home of a family with four siblings anyway. You knew the youngest lived in his dorm at the most prestigious high school in Japan, but Fuyumi said he still found himself back here at home once in a while.
You kicked off your shoes and placed them neatly by the front door. You eyed up a pair of boots that also sat there, but simply assumed they were someone's extra pair. After all, it didn't seem as though there was any other presence in the house at all but you. You remembered Fuyumi telling you when the housekeeper injured her back and retired; that left your friend to take on most responsibilities in the home. Tentative steps carried you down the hall and into the massive kitchen. You made your way to the large island in the center, thick wood lining one side with four stools tucked underneath. The other side dropped down a level and was lined with a counter top, one end was an obvious built in cutting board. You thought again how grand and stunning this place is. You slung your bag off your shoulder and onto the wood at one end, claiming one of the four spots as yours. Unzipping the entire thing you pulled out all the books and materials the two of you had intended to go over that day.
You didn't get started however. Fuyumi said to make yourself at home and you couldn't help your budding curiosity. You took a few steps closer to the hall the led into the rest of the house. The shoji lining the hallway bathed it in soft natural daylight. You licked your lips and contemplated investigating further but as you cleared your throat you realized that you needed a drink before you did anything. You sighed and made your way over to the fridge, swinging open the double doors. Needless to say the thing was stocked. You looked around, taking in all the assorted items. Something you noticed right away sitting in front was an opened, half drank bottle of Fu-Ki Plum wine. You raised your eyebrows and took a step closer. Carefully picking up the bottle you unscrewed the top and lifted it to your lips and took a swig. It was delicious and you screwed the cap back on, not wanting to indulge too much. Replacing it back in the spot you found it you reached to the opposite side of grabbed a bottle of water. You closed the left side door and as you closed the right side you got the shock of your life.
"Hi Doll.", was all you heard as you shrieked and nearly jumped out of your skin. Standing there behind the refrigerator door leaning against the counter was Fuyumi's oldest brother, Touya. You grasped at your chest and tried to regulate your breathing after being so startled by his sudden appearance. You had no idea how long he'd been standing there. You never even heard him enter the kitchen let alone get so close to you. "Holy fuck!", you choked out, "You scared the shit out of me." 
Touya only responded with an amused chuckle. You noticed him look you up and down, not really caring over your worry of nearly enduring a heart attack. "Sorry Dollface. Didn't mean to scare ya." If his smirk was anything to go by, he wasn't really sorry. That was merely a formality. You sighed and uncapped your water as you took a few gulps. Touya watched the smallest trail of water escape the corner of your mouth before you finished drinking and make its way down your chin and drip onto your cleavage. He felt his dick stir ever so slightly in his jeans. "You must be Yumi's friend from school." Your eyes met his crystal, turquois orbs and nodded as you wiped across your mouth with the back of you hand.
Another twitch of his cock. 'Simmer down, now.'
"[Name].", you stated simply as you watched his gaze leave yours and move to your lips. "[Name]..." He repeated your name low, almost in a whisper. As if he was trying it out to see how he liked it leaving his mouth. His eyes met yours and he pushed off the counter with the hip he'd been leaning on. His arms remained crossed at his chest. "I like it. It suits a pretty girl like you." He spoke as if you knew that his final approval mattered. If you were lying to yourself you'd say that you didn't care either. You gave him a shy 'Thanks.' and stepped around him. You placed your water next to your things and stood by your stool. "You're Touya right?", you inquired. He nodded. "Ah, so you've heard of me Doll?" He figured of course you must have heard about him. He was sure Fuyumi told you all about the black sheep of the family.
Now that you were a bit away from him you were able to take him in fully. You had obviously already noticed his white hair was now dyed black and he had a number of piercings adorning his right nostril and along both ears. He wore a plain, ever so slightly baggy, white tee and dark colored jeans with a white studded belt looped around the waist. He was gorgeous with his sharp features, beautiful eyes and thin, muscular build; you could feel your cheeks warm up now that you really saw all of him. You were fairly certain if you looked up the term 'bad boy' in the dictionary his picture would be underneath it, complete with his aloof expression and trademark smirk.
"I thought you had class today. Fuyumi said no one would be home." Touya simply shrugged. "It's general studies. Skipping ain't really gonna set me back." He rests against the counter again. This time at the small of his back so he could fully face you. "Dear ol' dad is groomin' little Shouto to take over the business. It doesn't really matter what I do anymore. Hell, he even treats my friend Keigo better than me." You blinked a few times. "Takami Keigo?" You couldn't believe Touya and him were friends.
Sure they were about the same age, but Keigo seemed so different than Touya. You knew alot about Takami Keigo. Common knowledge, really. He had his own successful start up business before the age of 21. When the Todoroki conglomerate bought him out Enji made him an executive. He was considered number two richest in Japan, formerly number three, always right behind Enji. Keigo was also named a 'most wanted bachelor' numerous times. That was something he had in common with Touya, they were both hotties.
It was obvious his youngest brother and old friend were a sour subject for him. He only responded with a 'yeah' and looked away. Now you wish you didn't even ask anything. You felt like an idiot, but how were you supposed to know? Hopefully he didn't hold it against you. That would be a shit first impression, huh?
"So..", Touya broke the silence between you, "You in school to be a sweet little school teacher like my sister?" You giggled a little at his question. "Yeah. Well, technically it's 'Early Childhood Education'. Not 'How to be a sweet school teacher." The smile on his face stretched from ear to ear. You felt yourself getting flustered so you reached for your bottle of water. He raised an eyebrow at you. "I'm actually jealous of those little shits. None of my teachers were nearly as hot as you are, Princess." If you thought you were getting flustered before, you nearly choked on your water. 'Did he just say I was hot?'
Touya was very amused by your reactions. He greatly enjoyed your shy little expressions. He was trying hard to ignore he was semi hard now, but really who was he kidding. He wanted you. It's not like he didn't indulge in sleeping with Fuyumi's friends. He'd done so since high school. Besides, it wouldn't be what fundamentally made him Todoroki Touya if he didn't do whatever he wanted. What he couldn't put his finger on is why he felt like you were different. Maybe because you hadn't thrown yourself at him like most of the other ones. You actually seemed much more worth pursuing than the rest. He broke out of his thoughts of you when he heard you reply with a meek "Thanks."
He walked over to the fridge and pulled out the wine you had sipped and opened it to drink from it himself. Afterward he held it up towards you, silently offering you some. You shrugged and nodded and he smiled, an almost predatory one, and started making his way over to you. He watched you swallow as he came closer. You looked over to the front hall nervously the more he filled the gap between you.
'Adorable.'
You bit you bottom lip as you met his gaze. You swore he somehow had the superpower to melt you right to the floor. He held up the bottle and you took it from him, immediately putting it to your lips. He watched you take your sip. Watched your throat move as you swallowed down the liquid.
Another twitch in his pants.
As you pulled it away there was excess wine coating your bottom lip. Before you could suck in the rim of your mouth you immediately felt his thumb move slowly across it. His eyes moved from holding your gaze to your lips as he collected the remaining droplets. In one quick swoop he stuck his thumb in between his own lips and sucked the liquid off. You could practically feel you heartbeat in your cunt. That was fucking hot.
All you could do was watch in awe; little did you know but you were giving him that doe eyed look he loved girls like you make. Yeah, his cock wasn't half hard anymore. It was the full Monty. That's when he decided to take his shot. Well, as consciously as he could with how cloudy his head was becoming in his growing lust filled haze. He tilted his head ever so slightly. "Perhaps there's some things I could teach you." His voice was an octave lower. His eyes looked half lidded, just about the same amount as yours were. "Perhaps.", was all you could think to reply breathlessly. Before you knew it his left hand found purchase on your hip and his right had come up to hold behind you head and pull you into a kiss.
Wow, was Touya a good kisser. His mouth slotted against yours and it was like he was built to be kissing you. As if you two had been doing it for years. The hand at your head had gathered up a handful of hair and tightened. As you gasped at his intense grip he took the opportunity to slide his tongue inside your mouth. He explored every inch there was possible. You hadn't even noticed when he began walking you back towards the opposite side of the island. You yelped slightly as he hoisted you up to sit on the counter like you weighed nothing. 
The two of you were engulfed in your kissing for an extended amount of time. You weren't quite sure how long exactly. Your arms were wrapped around his neck and you registered feeling his large hands run up and down your thighs over your jeans. It wasn't much longer before he was lavishing your throat with wet kisses, blotchy marks left in his wake leading down to your collarbone. You inhaled sharply when you felt one of his hands move to cup your sex over your jeans. Touya was starting to lose all restraint whenever he heard your cute mewling. "Let's take this off.", he commented as he tugged up on the hem of your white camisole.
You straightened up and lifted your arms and he quickly removed your top, leaving you sitting in your bra. He took a moment to gawk at your chest before running his tongue over the mounds on your chest and in the valley between them. He noticed the hook to the bra was in front and before you could protest he made quick work of unlatching it and moving the straps down your shoulders to allow it to slide off you. You felt a pang of self consciousness and went to cover yourself but he gently held onto your wrists and pulled them down to your sides. "Nah Baby doll. Don't hide yourself.", he instructed, "You're beautiful." 
It wasn't like you to believe anything a guy said, especially if they were "gettin' some"; the way Touya said that and the sincere look in his eye told you that he actually meant it. All you could do was nod. He bent down and took one of your nipples in his mouth, toying with the bud against his teeth and tongue. After a few moments he made sure you move over to the neglected side. You continued mewling and panting. Now you were able to take some of his ink black hair at the back of his head into your grip. Your other hand rested on the back of his neck. You felt his breath hitch as you clung to him.
As he kept up his ministrations on your nipples and marking up your chest he unbuttoned and unzipped your jeans. He stood up and reached behind him to fist his shirt and pull it over his head, discarding it to the side. He was on your mouth again in an instant. After another minute of kissing he patted you on your side where your ass and thigh met. "We gotta get you outta these." It was then you gave the first instance of hesitation. Touya furrowed his brows and eyed you up. "What's wrong, Princess?" You swallowed and glanced to the front hall. "W-what if Fuyumi comes in?"
Your arms were still wrapped around his neck. He seemed to be contemplating for a moment, thinking of what to do. Touya actually didn't care. It's not like his sister, or any other siblings, hadn't walked in on him in compromising situations with girls. Like he thought before though, you were different. If you didn't want to get caught then we would actually try and appease you. What was it about you anyway?
'Hmm', he hummed for a second before grasping at your hips and snatching you up off the counter. "Come with me." He obviously had a plan and you were just able to scoop up your shirt from the floor as he pulled you along hand in hand. You followed his lead and you assumed you two were headed to his bedroom. However he stopped at a pair of double doors and opened them to reveal a rather large study. It was clearly Enji's home office. The room was actually rather imposing much like the man himself.
"Touya, c-can we be in here?", you questioned timidly. He turned to close the doors behind you before grabbing your hand in his once more and leading you over to the expansive desk at the other side of the room. "It's fine." The short answer didn't reassure you all that much. "The old man is always too wrapped up in work to come home before sundown." Once he pulled you over to your destination he stood you against the desk, kissing down your body until he reached your waist. Your jeans were still undone, barely staying up from all the hurrying, and Touya could see the the top front of your underwear.
He gripped the tops of your jeans and slowly pulled them down till they fell the rest of the way to your feet. He was practically on his knees now. You stepped out of your pants and he threw the clothing over to where you dropped your shirt on the floor. You were left standing naked except for your cute panties. "I can't wait to see this pussy.", he practically purred. After his words he placed a chaste kiss on your pubic bone before hooking his thumbs into the hem and slowly pulling them down.
Now fully nude, he carefully set you on top the middle of the desk. He gently parted your legs. What you didn't expect was for him to lounge back in his father's expensive desk chair to take in the view like a king on his throne. Touya's eyes never left your core and you began to feel even hotter under his lingering stare. "Perfect." You only had a moment to register his whisper before you felt his mouth latch on to your cunt. You let out a loud sigh and threw your head back at the sensation. He ran his tongue, keeping it flat, from bottom to top along your slit. Touya would purse his lips at the bundle at the top and suck. Before you knew it you were rocking back on forth on the desk. You weaved your fingers into his soft hair and pushed his face flush against your sex. You began moaning louder when you felt him plunge his wet muscle inside you. Prodding you, in and out. The vibrations from the groans escaping his throat only added to the pleasurable experience.
Touya had wrapped his arms around your legs from underneath to help hold you in place. His strong hands gripping your thighs. You couldn't help from thrashing. He was good at this. Really good. No wonder he was such a cocky bastard. You felt the invisible coil within you wind up tight, ready to snap at any moment. "Ah...ah...Touy-AHH!" Before you could warn him about your impending climax it had already slammed into you, wracking your body in shuddering spasms. "That's it, Princess.", he cooed as helped you through it then rose to his feet. 
You could see his chin glistening with your most intimate fluids. He didn't even clean himself off before he began kissing you fiercely once more. You thought you would be more bothered by the action, but it surprisingly didn't leave a bad taste in your mouth. While your tongues were intertwined you heard a soft clicking and realized he was undoing his belt and removing his jeans. You reached down and hooked your thumbs into the waistband of his jeans and boxers, like he had done to your panties, and helped push them down his legs. After you dropped them as low on his legs as you could he allowed them to fall and pool at his feet. 
That's when he broke the kiss and leaned up, just now wiping at his chin. He stepped out of his pants and closer to your sex. You squeaked as he tugged your hips to pull your ass to the very edge of the desk. He held on to his erection, giving himself a few languid strokes as he watched you nibble on your bottom lip. Now that you saw what he was working with you felt a twinge of nervousness once more. He was big. Girthy and long. Now you really understood why he was such a cocky bastard. A hot, smart-ass, irresistible, cocky bastard.
You snapped out of your wandering thoughts at the sound of his sharp intake of breath. He was swiping the tip of his cock along your slit, collecting your release still present on and around your folds. You were still a bit sensitive from your previous orgasm. "Touya, I need you." Oh how you weren't even embarrassed by your breathless whining. He simply chuckled and smirked at you. "Don't you worry, Doll. You got me." With that he began to slowly push into your core. You both sucked in a breath as you took him in inch by inch. 
Once he was hilted all the way inside your cunt he stilled for the moment. "Fuck!", he choked out, "That's so tight!" You had already started feeling as though you could handle him now and attempted to roll your hips to get him going. "So eager.", he whispered in your ear before taking your earlobe and sucking it between his lips and teeth. Now he was moving in and out at a slow but steady pace. You couldn't help contain the loud moan you let out if you tried. That certainly egged him on. The next thing you knew it felt as though the wind was knocked out of you. On one of his motions to pull out he had stopped at the tip and thrusted hard back into you.
After that he was ruthlessly pounding into you. You were at a loss for words but certainly not the pornographic sounds escaping your mouth. "That's fucking good, Princess." His face was twisted into a pleasured yet determined expression. "You're taking me so well.. Fuck!" Touya prided himself on lasting during sex but this time he was having trouble restricting his own orgasm. "Shit. Keep moaning like that and I won't last."
"S-Sorry-ahh...C-Can't help it. Ah!" Well, you weren't really sorry if you were being honest. Not in the least. You felt him pulse inside you and when you opened your eyes to look at him you saw his were shut tight. You knew he was close but he was trying to hold off. It wouldn't be long before you climaxed again and tried to reassure him he could let go. "I-I'm gonna cum. Cum with me. Fill my pussy, please Touya!" He grunted and you felt his cock pulse in you again. "Gah, how can I deny you, Dollface." Those words were all you needed to be hurled off that invisible cliff and into that orgasmic void. 
Your loud moan announcing your cumming was met with a loud groan from him as his snapping hips finally stilled. He hadn't let up his brutal pace until that moment. As you clenched around him you could feel his seed filling you up, just as you asked of him. It took another moment to collect yourselves and steady your breathing. When you looked at him he was already gazing at your face with soft eyes and a warm smile. It was as if he was looking at you with adoration.
Now both sensitive he carefully pulled out of you but took a seat in the chair once again. You jolted a bit when you felt his fingers gently prodding your folds as he watched your combined juices begin to leak out. He was staring intently, unable to rip his eyes away from the sight. "You're really somethin', Princess." His voice was so low you almost missed what he had said. You did hear though, and your smile only grew. Finally looking up at you he stood and helped you off the desk onto your unsturdy legs. He helped you stand and grabbed your discarded clothes and handed them to you.
You tried to ignore the mess now between your legs as you pulled up your panties and tugged on your jeans. He was dressing himself as you did and while you were pulling your camisole on he hooked his belt and pulled his cellphone from his back pocket. "So, can I get your number [Name]? Ya know, so we can hang out again?" You smiled at him and recited your cell number. "Cool.", was all he responded with as he walked you out of the room. Once in the hallway he took your hand and kissed the back of it as he grinned at you. He turned to go the opposite way of the kitchen, to his room you assumed. You hadn't stopped smiling and watched his shirtless form disappear rounding a corner and heading upstairs.
You made your way back into the kitchen and took a seat at the stool you originally intended to sit in but never got the chance. About 15 minutes later you heard the front door and Fuyumi entered the kitchen shortly after that. "Hey! I'm so sorry I kept you waiting!" She held her usually cheery expression. "Oh, no worries.", you responded reassuringly. You couldn't help sounding more chipper than normal.
"Let's get started. I'm gonna get a drink real fast too." She pointed to the bottle of water sitting in front of you and made her way over to her fridge. She pulled one out for herself and uncapped it to take a sip. Closing the doors she turned and screwed the cap back on but stopped in her tracks. She was on the other side of the island from you, staring at the floor. She blinked a few times, confusion washing over her face. "[Name]? Are these yours?" You felt heat in your cheeks immediately as you watched her reach down and scoop up your bra and a white t-shirt in her free hand.
Your eyes widened and you shot up off the stool and ran over to grab them. "U-Uh, y-yeah! They must've fell outta my backpack." You giggled nervously and tossed them inside your bag. Fuyumi just nodded and shrugged as she took a seat next to you. You sighed, thankful she didn't prod. However you found your relief was short lived as Touya sauntered into the kitchen and grabbed the forgotten bottle of wine to take back to his room. "Sis, you're finally home." She looked up at her brother's shirtless form, then to you, then back at her brother. "Yeah, I'm home." Now it was her turn to give a nervous laugh.
Amused, and pleased with himself, that his sister probably realized what had transpired while she was gone he spun on his heel to leave the room. You tried not to look at him but when you heard your name, his voice directed at you, your head shot up. Your eyes met his piercing aqua colored gems. "[Name]. It was good meetin' ya, Doll." He topped it off with a wink your way before departing. If you thought your face was heating up before, now you felt like you were burning.
Yep, it definitely must be some secret superpower of his. The ability to set every bit of you on fire.
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shohokubasket · 2 years
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SD headcanon // Shohoku siblings
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We've got the Akagi siblings as part of the official Slam Dunk canon, but I like thinking about what the siblings of the other Shohoku players would be like and came up with my own ideas for my headcanon.
For the record, in my SD headcanon universe Ayako and Rukawa don't have siblings.
EDIT (12/7/2022): THE FIRST SD actually addresses some of this!! I won't spoil anything but omg I'm so happy!!
Sakuragi Mei (桜木 芽生) // 20 years old (~4 years older than Hanamichi [16])
is attending cosmetology school in a different city, working towards becoming a hairdresser (although she does come back to Kanagawa every once in a while to check on Hanamichi)
she's super pretty and cool, when Akagi meets her he's stunned that SHE'S related to Hanamichi lol
was a sukeban in middle school and high school
being the oldest daughter she takes care of her family a lot, especially because her mother passed away when she and Hanamichi were young and her father passed away when she was in high school
was the first person to dye Hanamichi's hair when he was in 6th grade (at his request)
while she's tried a couple different hair colors for herself in the past, she mostly sticks to blonde
she dotes on Hanamichi a lot and is partially responsible for his behavior by praising him a "tensai" lol (although the "tensai" bit originally come from their grandfather)
however, she can definitely be tough on Hanamichi when she needs to be, so he's a little scared of her lol
Miyagi Suzu* (宮城 スズ) // 15 years old (~2 years younger than Ryota [17])
witty and outgoing, and she does look like/resemble Ryota lol
plays on her middle school soccer team and enjoys it, is considering different high school options since they don't have a girl's soccer club at Shohoku
she and Ryota bicker constantly and make fun of each other (all in good, sibling spirit). It also doesn't help that she and Ryota share a bathroom at home.
adores Ayako and always tells Ryota that he doesn't deserve her lol
Miyagi Yuto* ( 宮城 ユウト)// would be 20 years old (~3 years older than Ryota [17])
was a super easy going, sweet, and polite kid
also really liked basketball, which he and Ryota bonded over
at around 13 years old he got into an accident, and while his body was never found he's presumed to be deceased (...see "Piercing")
*Since Ryota's name is written in katakana for reasons not known to me, I'm just going to use katakana for the first names of his siblings lol
Mitsui Takeru (三井 尊)// 17 years old (~1 year younger than Hisashi [18])
attends school at Kainan, and nobody realizes he's Hisashi's younger brother for a while
he doesn't look that much like Hisashi at first glance, but if you know they're siblings you can see some resemblance. They're both around the same height.
personality-wise he's nearly the polar opposite of Hisashi: he keeps to himself, is a little awkward and cold, and he's really really smart (basically more similar in personality to Akagi), which is why he and Hisashi get on each other's nerves constantly
people who meet him and his brother for the first time presume Hisashi is the younger brother, lol
doesn't play sports
Kogure Masanobu (木暮 全延) // 24 years old (~6 years older than Kiminobu [18])
super charming and funny, but a bit insensitive at times
doesn't wear glasses, and is actually shorter than Kiminobu (which he hates, but to make up for it he fancies himself as the "better looking" brother)
played baseball in middle school, but his real passion is music so he didn't do any school clubs in high school (he also went to Shohoku) and instead went to go play with his band
started attending university but decided to drop out after the second year
to earn a living he currently helps out as a studio bass guitarist and drummer for small artists and picks up part-time gigs
can also play piano, (electric and some classical) guitar, and saxophone
was rebellious growing up, so he and his parents (particularly his dad) always had a rift between them. He still feels bad about this because he thinks it contributed to his parents being more strict on Kiminobu.
he and Kiminobu were super close when he lived at home, and they still are even though he and his family live in the Tokyo area now
has a wife and two-year-old daughter
Others
Yasuda comes from a big family: he has 5 other siblings
Shiozaki has two older brothers
Iishi has a little baby sister (she's about 3 years old)
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giorno-plays-piano · 4 years
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Cry Little Sister
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Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Warnings: yandere, obsession, verbal threats, gaslighting, both reader and Peter are high school students, kinda slight incestuous undertones (the characters aren't related, though).
Words: 2214.
Summary: Your adopted older brother is not as nice as he seems, but no one is willing to believe you.
P.S. And yep, I used one of my favourite citations from Grishaverse in the end of this story. Hope you enjoy!
__________
"Peter, sweetheart, I knew you'd make it!" Your mother had clasped her hands together while your father patted Peter's shoulder. "The best test results in the whole class! My goodness, we need to celebrate it!"
You smiled at them tiredly, seeing the faces of your parents practically glowing. True, Peter was a damn smart guy. You had never achieved such high results despite all those nights you spent studying, while he didn't care much about it at all, it seemed. You hadn't seen him with a book yet.
"I'm gonna bake an apple pie for you." A smile of your mother made you feel bitter, and you averted your eyes, missing an odd look your older adopted brother sent you.
Half a year ago he finally came to live with your family once your parents finished gathering all the papers and waited for almost a year to receive "the call". You remembered how you had jumped happily in the living room along with your mom, believing it was finally over. Well, maybe it was over for Peter, but for you it was only a beginning. You could hardly imagine the sweet skinny guy who you considered very shy and bashful would change so drastically.
It started very subtle. First, Peter was trying to be helpful, assisting you when you did the housework - he was actually way better at cooking and cleaning than you and easily got praised by your mom. You were truly thankful to him for his help, especially since it was easier to get to know him while working together. It was then when you first spotted the odd looks he was sending you when he thought you didn't see. There was something... uneasy lingering in his gaze. You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but sometimes Peter made you shiver with the way he spoke or touched you discreetly. It was strange. Of course, the boy didn't do or tell you something that would make you worried, but you just couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. You blamed it on the fact you couldn't get accustomed to a new life with an adopted brother yet. Surely, it wasn't supposed to be easy?
But the more you spent time together, the stronger that feeling got. Despite Peter becoming a part of your family as easily as if he had always been your parents' son, you were wary of his sudden urges to touch you and always keep you in his sight. At first you thought he was just touch starved and needed human warmth. Maybe for Peter it was just easier to come to you rather than your parents since you were almost the same age as him.  But then... one day you saw him going through your things and taking one of your lipsticks from your makeup bag. You suddenly remembered losing a lip gloss two weeks ago.
Trying to voice your concerns, you talked to your mom who was so insensitive she went to speak with Peter right away. Of course, he said it wasn't true and you had probably misunderstood him since he only wanted to borrow a pen. He even showed his table and wardrobe to demonstrate he didn't hide anything.
From that time Peter had changed. He didn't hide his unhealthy behavior from you anymore, and he was scaring you with the things he had done, keeping an eye on you when you were around and stalking you if you were not, never staying far away aside from the time he had to be in class.
Of course, he sensed that you were becoming resteless, less and less eager to spend time with him, blaming it on lots of homework or sudden meetings with friends. You weren't blind to his frightening affection - if you could call his feelings like that. Why was he doing it? Despite spending only several months living with you, your parents loved him dearly, paying him twice more attention than you. You had never protested against it, knowing a poor soul like him who didn't have his own family needed all the help he could get now. But this... this wasn't alright. This wasn't a feeling siblings should have for each other. Did Peter consider you one? Did you truly consider him your older brother? You weren't sure. Nevertheless, it still didn't feel right.
Carefully, you attempted to talk to your father about it, vagualy wording your concerns and giving him little details - sure, you didn't like how Peter was behaving, but he didn't deserve to be banished from your family and sent back. You still believed something could be done to set everything right. Maybe the boy just didn't realize things were not supposed to work this way in a family. However, your father laughed it all off. He said little girls like you were thinking too much of themselves lately, claiming the whole world was obsessed with them. Peter simply tried to be a good brother and look out for you.
You had never felt more humiliated in your entire life.
Dropping all attempts to bring Peter's unhealthy behaviour to your parents' attention, you decided there was just one thing to do - separate yourself from him completely.
No more doing the housework together, no more chats in the kitchen in the morning, no more having lunch together at school, no more cuddles in the evening. You kept yourself as busy as you could - in the morning you did jogging, at school you spent time with your friends, in the evening you were taking your books and doing your homework in the park, at your friend's place or anywhere convenient. Even though Peter tried following you, you had started to change places all of a sudden to keep him away from you.
This was when he had enough of you distancing yourself.
Suddenly, Peter fighted for affection of your parents with such ferocity as if you tried to strip him of their love. His gradea were suddenly way better than yours - he claimed he had finally felt safe in his new home and could spent his energy elsewhere. The way he behaved was even more sweet than before. On the other hand, strange things started happening to you: once your mother found your expensive satin blouse torn and blamed it on you and your carelessness; the other time the chicken you cooked was so salty it ended in a trash bin; your friend received threats coming from your phone number, though you had never ever sent anything like that to her.
It was easy to guess who was doing this to you, but Peter never admitted it out loud. Talking to your parents was worthless, too, as in their eyes the boy was a pure blessing. How could you blame him for things you did to catch their attention?
Shit. You knew something was wrong with Peter, but you could hardly imagine to what extent he could go to have his way. It was unbelievable a boy like him could manipulate people so easily, wrapping them around his finger. Why was he doing it? Everyone already loved him. Everyone but you.
"Y/N!" Your mother's sharp voice broke the silence, and you hurried downstares, finding your mom near the washing machine with a wet black sock in her hands. "Are you out of your mind?! Did you put your black socks in there when I said to bring your WHITE clothes?!"
"But I didn't!" You gawked at her, knowing perfectly you only brought her what she asked you to. "I swear I didn't!"
"Oh yes, of course, it's Peter who went through your dirty clothes to incriminate you, dear." She sneered at you. "You have to come up with a new excuse, this is getting old. Look what you've done, my white jeans are ruined!"
"Please, mom, I-"
"Go to your room. I don't want to see or hear you." She snapped, tossing the sock to the floor as you stared at her in horror. She had never been so irritated like in the past month when your "slip-ups" were happening more and more often.
Racing upstairs, you pressed your hand to your mouth, trying not to cry. Why was he still doing it to you? Why did Peter want everything to be like he wished? Why did your parents never believe you? It was you who was their true daugther, for God's sake!
Locking the door, you fell down on your bed, burying your head in your soft pillow. It started to become unbearable. Why was this all happening? Despite your growing hate towards Peter, you couldn't say that he was ugly and unpleasant. He was easy on the eyes and could be really nice to people around him, and it made Peter quite popular among the girls at school. Why on Earth didn't he set his eyes on anyone other than you? There were plenty of girls who'd be willing to date him and give him as much attention as he wanted.
You wiped away your angry tears with your pillow, biting on your lower lip. It was unfair, and you weren't going to give in to him just because Peter wanted to play with you like a spoiled child. You'd find a way to prove you weren't guilty of all those things he wanted to pin on you, you just needed to gather yourself and think properly.
Suddenly, you heard someone knocking on your window and rushed to it immediately: your room was on the third floor. Seeing Peter sitting on the bench of a tree, you gasped in shock. You opened the window right away, praying for him to stay still.
"Are you out of your mind?" You whispered in horror, holding out your hand to him. "What are you doing there?!"
He smiled at you like nothing was happening, taking your arm and crawling towards your window. In the next moment he was already inside your room, grinning like a kid and shutting the window behind himself. You furrowed your brows, your heart racing. Peter was insane!
"What if you slipped?" You asked him furiously. "Are you mad? Do you want to die?!"
"No, but you wouldn't let me in your room unless I came in the window." He admitted carelessly and smiled, reaching out to you and enveloping you in a hug. "I'm glad you don't want me to fall."
"You're out of your mind, brother." You grunted, trying to push him away, but his grip was only becoming stronger. "What are you doing? Let me go, please."
"But I want a hug from you. Is it so bad?"
You clenched your teeth, watching him angrily. "You just made my mom scream at me for that stupid sock. You think you deserve a hug?"
"I only did it because you're stubborn. It's your fault I had come to this, Y/N." His sickly sweet smile made you nauseated as you put your hands on his chest in attempt to keep him away. "Come on, why have you been acting so cold? I just want to be a part of your family."
"Are you serious?"
Your eyes could burn a hole in his face as you stared at him, getting more and more angry with his behaviour and trying to blame you for his own actions.
"This isn't like it should be in a family, Peter. We're siblings now. Siblings don't do it... l-like that." You felt your face growing hot as you became deeply embarrassed, knowing how your words could be interpreted.
"But we're not siblings, are we?" He tilted his head to the side, narrowing his dark eyes at you and smiling widely.
You growled in irritation, still unable to get rid of him holding you like a doll in his hands.
"If you don't want me to be your sister, what family are you talking about, then?"
"We'll, it's not the only family I can have with you, right?"
You stilled, unsure you understood what Peter meant as he chuckled with content, watching you getting more and more confused while he gently caressed your back. What other family he could possibly mean?
It took you a few seconds to realize he was talking about marriage between you two.
Your eyes popped out of its sockets. Was he fucking serious? That kind of family? No, he should have been out of his mind completely. He definitely had to see a psychiatrist or something!
"You're joking, aren't you?" You muttered, shocked. "You can't be serious!"
"But I am, sister." Peter's sweet smile was slowly turning sinister as he leaned closer to you, dropping a kiss to your temple as you shivered against him, wanting nothing but get away. "And you better stop with that silly attitude of yours if you don't want me to get real angry."
"And what are you going to do if I don't? What if I will tell everyone about this?"
He smirked, touching your forehead with his and closing his eyes for a second.
"I see you still don't understand." Peter whispered to you, watching you getting more and more nervous. “I will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no one but me.”
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Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@void-hoechlin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight
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rinyagi · 3 years
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track one: emergency calls
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Album: celebrity
Artist: L/N Y/N ft. Kita Shinsuke, Suna Rintaro
Producer, composer: @rinyagi
Released and belongs to: Haikyuu Labels
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The award show had finally ended, and you were on your way home with the Song of the Year Award. You and your fans worked hard for this. While you released your song, they streamed it so it could reach the top charts. Of course, they were definitely happy, including some other artists who congratulated you on your win.
Some of your juniors and seniors even approached you congratulating on your success, one junior even gave you a flower, since they were a fan of your music and you.
Being a celebrity is great and all, but you also wished you weren't one.
Even so, you don't want to follow the path your parents had prepared for you. Deep down you knew you weren't made for it, yet they still push you to quit the music industry and become the next CEO in their company.
You never want to return to that place, called 'home' to them, but you saw it as hell.
"Congratulations on your win, L/N-sama. You worked hard on it, well deserved," your driver suddenly speaks up and you turned your head away from the window, paying your attention on the stoic man.
"Thank you, Tokugawa-san," you smiled as you thank him for the congratulatory praise, fixing your posture since you had forgotten you were supposed to be formal person.
"No need. Also, you're free to sit in any position you would like, this is my car, after all. Not Edogawa-sama's," the middle-aged man assured you. You nodded but didn't shifted from your original and formal sitting. Turning away, you placed your elbow and watched the rain that started to drop, until Tokugawa started to talk again. "My daughter likes you a lot, you know?"
"Oh, really? I'm flattered," you chuckled and continued to watch the rain, while listening to Tokugawa voice fill in the silence from earlier.
"Yes. She would like to become an idol like you, one day," he smiles, thinking about his daughter, Shouko. Although, you slightly perked up, reacting with a frown.
"It's nice to know about her dreams and her being aspired to be like me one day, but I hope she'll realize that being a celebrity isn't all smiles nor pretty clothes. I'm scared she'll be really disappointed, and her mental health would be-" just when you were about to finish your sentence, the car took an extreme turn from what seemed to be a drunk driver, and eventually hitting a post.
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Passerby and some people who lived nearby had seen the incident. It was devastating, but what was even more devastating is that a lot of people are trying to film it, while the traffic enforcers were blocking them. No one was calling the hospital. All of them just watched and filmed, thinking that there's already someone who is calling the ambulance, when in reality there isn't.
Well, except for Kita. Once he caught the grasp of the situation, he immediately called the nearby hospital that said they're on their way. Police had came as well to investigate the situation.
Turning off his phone, the white-haired man with black tips sighed and tried to walk away, until he heard two girls gossiping, which what seemed to be about the situation.
"I bet Y/N was distracting the driver while driving, what an attention-seeker," a brown, short-haired female stranger said.
"Probably bragged about how she snatched the SOTY award even when the song she won with is total trash. YUMGA's 'Dawn of daylight' deserved it! Total robbed," the other one sighed, mocking 'Y/N' and her 'SOTY award' at the same time. "If it wasn't for her high pride, maybe they wouldn’t have gotten in this situation."
Even if Kita didn't know who Y/N is, he knows for a fact that they're bullying a victim of a car accident.
Fed up already, Kita approached the two young woman with an intense aura that even them sensed it.
"Would you two stop? You two probably don't even know who the victim is personally, yet you still have the nerve to mock her?" He said with a clearly annoyed tone, it even intimidated the two women. But the blonde girl didn't gave up.
"Who are you to judge? What are you to her, anyway? She never mentioned you in interviews regarding family or close friends."
"Aren't you a hater?" Kita shot back with logic, taking the blondie aback. "How do you know if we have any relation? Not everything a person mentions on an interview is fully complete. You never know if they're hiding," he continued on.
"I am a hater, but I'm an ex-fan!" the blonde woman retorted. "If you don't know who's L/N Y/N, shut your mouth."
Provoked enough, Kita replied physically calming, but his tone was harsh yet clear. "I do know who she is. She's my girlfriend."
That was a lie.
Kita doesn't know who's Y/N, even her status other than a celebrity.
So why did he said he's her boyfriend, when in reality, he isn't?
But at least, they're going to shut up now, right?
"Oh," the previously fierce woman said, who is now calm and had a neutral expression on her face. "My bad. I'm sorry for assuming things," she then walked away like that, along with her brunette friend.
"Finally," Kita mumbled and tried to walk away from the scene, until someone grabbed his arm. Suspicious, he turned around and saw someone wearing clothes of a hospital worker.
"I heard your conversation with those teenagers," the hospital worker pointed at the duo and Kita's eyes followed the direction of the finger while straightening his posture. "Since you claimed to have a relation with one of the victims, you're coming with us."
He's screwed.
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[play previous] | [play next] | [masterlist]
[A/N]: i am so sorry if the 1st chap is a flop.. i did this at 1 am, but i hope it was a good start! also do not mind the time :') i messed it up. see u guys in the next chapter!
[taglist: open]
@rinyagi 2021. do not steal, copy, nor repost. i do not own haikyuu nor its characters, only this fictional smau's plot.
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personasintro · 4 years
Text
My Tiny Secret | 20; First Steps
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𝑴𝒚 𝑻𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 | 20; First Steps 
⏤𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; Pretty face doesn’t make it up for an ugly personality. And Kim Seokjin is the perfect proof of that.
⏤𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: seokjin x reader
⏤𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: angst, smut, fluff, mistress au, unexpected pregnancy au
⏤𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: strong language, mature content 
⏤> 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒙
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The birds' chirping creates a calm melody, outstanding the sounds of kids laughing and crying that reach your ears. Even the blanket underneath your legs feels soft, softer than usual and you wonder if it's made from one of those expensive materials. Surprisingly, Seokjin was the one who packed everything and you left him to it.
It's nice to see him doing such a normal stuff, especially if it's related to you and your son.
“It seems busier than last week.” His voice resounds, your eyes snapping to him as his legs are spread out with arms holding him in a relaxed position. Those black locks that got longer are thrown back, making his forehead on full display along with his thick brows.
He looks so relaxed, wearing a white casual shirt with jean shorts, something you should've got used to by now, but you still find yourself occasionally stare at him.
You're not even sure how, but your Saturdays have been spent in a park nearby your apartment building for the last couple of weeks. You often went alone, making sure you're not stuck in your apartment all day, sometimes Hoseok tagged along with you as well. Surprisingly, Seokjin comes every Saturday without even making any official plans with you, knowing he's about to spend the whole day with you. Well, with Yoojin.
It became a silent routine.
“It does,” you hum, eyes trailed on Yoojin who crawls up to the tree you're sitting underneath. It creates a perfect shadow in this warm weather. “He's so active these days.” you say as you already panic when he starts to standing up, holding the tree with his small hands.
He can stand for a long time now, but he's too careful to hold onto something and not let go. Yoojin's puckered lips stretch into a huge smile, proudly showing himself to his parents as you clap in praise, not holding a smile back. He grew up so fast, you can't believe how many things have changed since he was born.
Seokjin comes to visit more often, he even sleeps on the couch sometimes since the guest room is slowly renovating to Yoojin's new bedroom. You both went shopping together and bought him a new crib, along with a few different decorations and furniture. The memory of the two of you walking with Yoojin in his stroller seems weird, but nice and comfortable. For the first time, it felt like you're a real family, spending some time together.
He's an intelligent man managing a successful company on his own, with no help whatsoever, however building a crib isn't his strong suit. Stubbornly, he insisted on being the one who makes Yoojin's bedroom for him. You've never seen him being so passionate about something, so you let him. Even if it took him a month, but you silently enjoyed every day he came after work struggling in that room, ending sleeping on the couch.
It feels nice to have him there. He's more open, casually talking with you about your day, but mainly has his focus on Yoojin.
You've met his friend – Kim Namjoon. As you've learned, he accidentally found out about his best friend having a child, thinking it's all gossip. But when he burst into Seokjin's office with a single question if he has a kid and his friend didn't deny it, he knew those gossips were true.
According to Seokjin's words, he bugged him about wanting to meet Yoojin for a whole week, until he had no choice but to say 'yes'. Before Namjoon came to your apartment, Seokjin made sure you're okay with the visit of his friend, the same thing he did when his father came to visit for the first time.
You didn't have any reason to say no, Yoojin is his son as well. A part of you wanted to meet his friend anyway, which happened to be a very polite and kind man. It made you shocked that he has such a nice friend, you were expecting someone similar to his personality. The visit was far more enjoyable than that time when Mr. Kim visited. You even saw Seokjin to crack a few smiles and chuckles, not the dark ones you're used to, but honest and happy ones.
“He's Kim,” he points out proudly, smiling at Yoojin who grins back at his father, still holding to the tree. “He has your smile.” he comments, your head snapping to him before you look at Yoojin.
“Really?” you cock your head to the side, trying to find your similarity in your son.
He's a mixture of you both, although he definitely takes after Seokjin's side more. You're not mad at it, his father is handsome, there's no lie in that.
“Yeah,” he hums, his phone vibrating inside of his pocket as he pulls it out.
You see his wife's name on the display, but he just locks the phone and ignores the call.
“You can speak to her, y'know...” you mumble, watching your son instead as he squats down to admire dandelions.
“I know,” he assures you lightly, “I don't want to.” he admits and you don't let a surprise to be known on your face.
The conversation dies there, both of you watching your son as a way to distract yourselves, that's until Seokjin opens his mouth again.
“I'll divorce her,” he informs you, his tone firm as his hardening features. “For Yoojin.” he adds, glancing at your son that touches the top of dandelion and giggles when it bounces.
“That's nice of you,” you tell him softly, heart warming at the progress he's made. “But, are you sure? Is that what you want?”
You don't mean to doubt his decision, nor you feel some kind of triumph that he wants to divorce his wife. It was never a competition for you and you feel sorry for the woman, whether she's a bad person or not. You're not the one to talk, nor is Seokjin. All of you made mistakes along the way that got you where you are right now.
“I thought about what my father said,” he confesses, your mind drifting to that time he told you what he and his father talked about. It took his some time to open up, but when he finally did, you couldn't be more proud of him. “I think he's right. Besides, I don't see any future with her.”
“If that's what you really want, I'm on your side.”
Seokjin catches the smile you give him, eyes glinting with honesty and his heart does a weird twist at seeing you like that. You're wearing a yellow sundress, youth and happiness radiating from you and he wonders what's the reason behind your happiness. Is he a part of it too? Is someone else behind it?
“Thank you,” he says, tone sounding almost unsure of what to say, and you giggle when you see the puzzled look. “I don't know how she will take it, knowing her she'll throw a fuss. She seems to be furious whenever I come back to the house. I think I'll leave the house to her, maybe she'll be less furious when I break the news to her.”
It seems like he's thinking out loud more to himself, than telling you all this stuff, but you appreciate it nevertheless. It's weird hearing him saying house instead of home.
“I can still pay for the rent, I've got my maternity leave every month,” you suggest, ignoring the raise of his brow. “I don't need your money, Seokjin.”
“Debatable.” he mutters, causing your brows to twitch in irritation.
“No, I don't need it. I'm thankful for everything you're doing for us, but I don't need your money.”
Sighing, he scratches his chin as he looks at you. “I'm sorry,” he apologizes, your mouth falling open but you stay quiet. “Let me do this for you. And Yoojin.”
“I am, but I don't want you to think I need your money. Yes, you make our lives easier but I'm not your wife. I thought you knew that.” Your voice fades away, but the disappointment in it stays as Seokjin groans underneath his breath.
“Shit, I know that,” he curses, voice thick with regret. “I'm not good with words. I've never done this before and I've never met someone who didn't try to fuck me over. It's hard for me to trust someone and you're the first person-- I'm sorry. I know you don't need my money, you made that clear from the day one.”
Nibbling on your bottom lip, you let it go before you give him a soft smile. Confusion is clear on his face, probably thinking you were about to curse at him but he's just met with your smile.
“What?”
“Hm, nothing,” you hum, causing him to roll his eyes in annoyance. Well, some things haven't changed. “I just.. thank you for being so open, I think. It makes me understand you better.” you tell him honestly, seeing him look away as he plays with the grass next to him.
Is he blushing?
When he looks back at you, his eyes trail somewhere behind you before his eyes widen. You follow his vision, eyes mimicking Seokjin's expression as you see your son standing, without holding himself. He giggles and stumbles, but still doesn't reach for the tree next to him.
“Oh my god, he's standing!” you chant, clapping like a crazy woman which makes your son giggle.
“Where's my phone?” you hear Seokjin mutter, before he's snapping a few pictures of your son.
“Come here, pumpkin. You can do it, come here!” you call to him, arms outstretching as you silently call him to your embrace.
He frowns, complementing on what to do but when you clap again and call for him, he smiles. He takes a step forward, and you push the squeal that wants to rip out of your throat away, not wanting to scare him as he slowly starts walking towards you. He's wobbling, his chubby legs barely holding his balance, but he doesn't fall this time. From the corner of your eyes, you see Seokjin pointing his phone to Yoojin, recording this moment with a huge smile plastered on his lips.
“Come to mommy!” you call for him, giggling when he's almost in your embrace, loosing his balance but you're quick to catch him, causing him to giggle. “Good job!” you praise him, kissing his cheeks as you hug him closer to you.
You've never felt so proud, like this very moment. Seokjin's eyes are filled with a rare emotion, something you've never seen on his face and you wish you could snap a picture of him right now. He reaches towards you, caressing Yoojin's back as he gives him a set of praise words.
“Go to daddy,” you tell him, making sure your son is standing as he stares at his father.
He moves away, crossing his legs as he outstretches his arms the same way you did. He's smiling, eyes glistening as he wonders if his son will walk into his arms like he did to you.
“Yoojin-ah, come on. Come here.” he calls out to him, your eyes watering when he starts taking a few steps to his father, grinning at him as Seokjin starts to scream in encouragement causing you to laugh.
You've never heard him being so loud, full of joy and you pull out your phone, taking a lot of pictures as he picks up your son, bouncing him in his arms as he starts kissing his face repeatedly. It makes your son erupt into a fit of laughter, his bubbly laugh outstanding from other children's ones while you're wiping your tears, too stubborn to look away, savoring this moment.
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[9:23pm] hobi: wait... he looks... happy???
The message makes you giggle, covering your mouth with the blanket before your fingers work their way onto the screen. You've sent him the video of Yoojin walking, along with the pictures you managed to snap of Seokjin kissing him.
[9:24pm] he does, i've never seen him look so happy
[9:24pm] hobi: that's good, right? is he treating you okay?
He never fails to ask the same question every time the two of you talk, but you know he's just looking out for you. And besides, today was nothing but great.
[9:25pm] yeah, he's really trying hobi
He sends you a couple of emojis of confetti, clapping hands and fireworks which makes you snort. Your giggling is interrupted with a soft knock on your bedroom door. Knowing it's Seokjin, you call out a gentle 'come in' before he opens the door. His head is the first thing that appears, as he cutely looks around noticing Yoojin's crib where he's sleeping.
He was supposed to sleep in his new crib, but he somehow didn't want to let go of you, even though he fell asleep almost immediately.
“Can I come in?” he asks you, cautiously staring at you and catching a glimpse of your exposed legs.
Slowly, you sit up and nod in response. He tries to be quiet, making his way towards the crib to check on Yoojin before he sits next to you. The fresh scent of his shower gel that he brought one day to your home lingers on his skin, his hair slightly dampened after he took a shower. He's wearing a loose shirt and some sweatpants, to stay decent. You know he likes to sleep naked most of the time, or at least that's what you always thought after he fell asleep a few times in your bed – back in the time when you messed around. He always made sure to leave after you both had sex, but there were times when he had a couple of drinks and stayed the night. But you never felt the warmth of him the next morning, no sight of him.
“He fell asleep right away. I think we tired him out.” you whisper, pointing at your son's crib as he chuckles.
“He had an eventful day.” he comments, his voice gentle and quiet not to wake him up.
He's right. After you both packed your stuff and put it into the truck of Seokjin's car, you went to eat ice cream and walked around for a few minutes, before it was time to go back home. Seokjin took a bath with Yoojin, playing with him in the water and you left them there, and cooked dinner.
“Can't sleep?” you ask quietly, making out his features thanks to the moon and opened blinds.
“Yeah,” he mutters. “Can you? I heard you giggling.”
“Oh, it was just something Hobi sent me,” you wave your hand, silently watching him in the darkness.
Luckily, Hoseok visited you more often, even when Seokjin was present and even though the atmosphere is awkward most of the time, at least they don't want to rip each other heads anymore.
“Thank you for taking us out today, Yoojin was so happy.” You feel the need to tell him that.
He's not a kid who needs to get praised at every single good thing he does, yet you want to show him your gratitude. He's been involved in Yoojin's and your life more with each passing month. Maybe it's weird but you feel like a family. You raise him together, even though Seokjin officially doesn't live with you, but he's spending most of his time with you. This actually works nicely, way better than you've ever imagined.
And the littlest smile that ghosts his lips whenever you show him your gratitude doesn't go unnoticed, even though he tries to hide it. It's the same one that's hidden by the darkness in your bedroom.
“Were you?” he asks, head tilting towards you, although you can't see his eyes clearly.
“Huh?
“Happy,” he whispers, “Were you happy?”
You're taken back by his question. Does he really care about your happiness? You can't believe your own ears. You knew he's not such a bad guy as he makes himself out to be – hence all the gestures he's done for you, like sending you money and making sure you live in a nice place. There are a lot of things he's done, nice things that made you even more confused by him. But he's never been so straight forward. Until these recent days.
“Yes,” you answer him, “Were you happy?” you ask him back, watching his broad shoulders as he stays quiet for a moment.
“Yes.” he whispers, turning to you and you automatically smile at him, not even sure if he can properly see you.
“I'm glad, I don't think I've ever seen you happy.” you admit, wondering if you're pushing his buttons too much.
“I don't really show emotions but I don't think I've ever been happy. I kind of just... lived.”
The lamp that slowly creates in your throat makes you painfully swallow, your heart shivering of sadness from hearing those words. He says it lightly, although the meaning behind it is sad. You put your hand on his back, caressing his tensed muscles as you scoot closer to him. He's warm, inviting almost and you hate yourself for craving his touch.
“Are you happy now?” you hesitate to ask, but relax when he doesn't seem too tensed from your question.
Slowly, he turns around, your hand falling off his back as he stares at you. It's hard to see his eyes, but you know he's looking at you. He reaches towards your face, caressing your soft skin as his thumb swipes across your lips. Your breath hitches but you don't dare to look away or flinch, it feels too good to do that.
“I'd like to think that I am.” he answers.
It's something about the tone and the way he says it, making it sound painful yet smooth and joyful. He's a one big mystery you were always trying to solve, but if he's not the one opening himself to you, it's pointless. But you see it now. So many things have changed and you get to know a new side of him, each layer he has, almost every day.
You don't know who moves the first, maybe the both of you at the same time, as your lips crashes together in a soft and slow manner. It's been so long since you've felt those lips against your own, enjoying how perfect they feel. As expected, he takes over the kiss, leading you the entire time as you adjust to his pace. It should be embarrassing how quick he has you squirming in your spot and groaning into the kiss, whenever he pulls onto your bottom lip. He cups your face for the better measure, while the other one holds your neck and fuck, how amazing it feels.
Even when your back meets the softness of your mattress, and your neck Seokjin's lips, you know you're utterly fucked. He hovers over you, kissing every sensitive spot which makes you giddy over the fact, he still remembers what makes you moan and clench around nothing.
His thigh is settled between your legs, and when he lightly nibbles onto your weak spot with his teeth, you automatically grind against him. He shushes your moans with his mouth, leaving your mouths connected before has to pull away after a couple of seconds.
“Jin,” you plead, arms hooked around his neck as you pull him closer.
The chuckle that leaves his mouth is shushed, but very audible to your ears as he nudges your nose with his own. “What do you want?”
Of course, he knows what you want from him. He just likes you to say it, even beg for it.
“You,” you whisper, arms traveling down his broad shoulders making its way to his defined chest and abs. “I want you.”
“Is that so?” he hums, nudging your cheekbone with his nose this time. “Are you sure?” he asks when he receives a few set of nods in response.
Your hand trails down, cupping him through his sweatpants, surprised when it's the only clothing separating his length and your hand. What shocks you the most, is the obvious erection poking underneath the thin material and how just the feel of it makes you aroused.
“Naughty,” he comments, pushing away the groan that wants to escape past his lips, clenching his jaw when you stroke him. He sits back on his knees, motioning for you to sit up and you obey, letting him taking off your loose shirt.
Now that you think about it, it seems like it's one of Seokjin's shirts he forgot here. If he noticed such a little detail, he doesn't comment it and softly lays you back down. You bite onto your lips, feeling his palm against your breast, groping the soft flesh.
“So big,” he hums, noticing how bigger they seem and feel ever since you got pregnant. Surprisingly, he leans against your chest, sucking on your nipple as he licks it a few times.
Your palm slaps against your mouth, silencing all those moans and soft groans. He does the same thing to the other breast, coating it with his saliva as he trails down onto your stomach, kissing and licking your skin.
You haven't thought about having sex for a long time, there was never a proper time to think about such thing. You've spent all your time taking care of Yoojin, that the thought of another man and your intimate life was the least of your worries. There were times your hormones would act up, and you craved for someone else's touch. Your mind often drifted to the man that's enveloping your body with his mouth, no matter how many times you've reminded yourself that he's not right for you.
You were so busy trying to be the best mother you could be, that you never really thought about having sex after nine months you gave birth. You got in shape, although your body is not what it used to be. Your breasts got bigger and you still got some fat on your stomach and thighs. And for this very time, you're lucky there's a darkness in the room and Seokjin can't tell all the stretchmarks that failed to disappear.
His hand disappears between your thighs, chuckling when he notes you've no underwear. “Naughty girl.” he chuckles, circling your opening teasingly as you bite onto your lower lip.
It hurts, but you've to keep your mouth shut if you don't want to wake up your son.
“Can you...” he trails off, your mind clouded with lust before you realize what he's asking.
“Yeah.” you answer, giving him the green light as he slowly pushes a one finger inside of you.
It feels weird, almost as if it's the first time you ever experienced this particular touch. Although, it doesn't take you too long to get used to it, hips bucking into his hand as you plead him for more. Surprisingly, he doesn't insist on begging, listening to you as he watches your body squirm in pleasure. He pumps his fingers inside and out, grazing your walls before he scissors them, penetrating you.
“Fuck, you got so tight.” he groans, pumping his fingers before he kisses you.
He barely used to do that. He barely kissed you during sex, and if he did, it was always harsh and rushed. This seems to be slow, but intense at the same time.
You've heard so much stuff of women getting even tighter after they gave birth. You weren't sure if that's true but if Seokjin can tell a difference and he's telling the truth, you guess all those articles were right. Woman's body is something amazing. It goes to its original state even after bringing a human into the world.
He adds another, silently shushing you when you whimper.
“I know, gotta stretch you out,” he whispers, pushing onto your clit with his thumb while his fingers continue to fill you up. “Have you had sex after you gave birth?”
There's a possibility he feels unsure, but he doesn't stop and continues with his movements as if he's not asking you such an intimate question.
Would he be angry if you said yes?
Would he become possessive all over again?
“No,” you whisper, clutching the sheets between your fingers. “You're my first.” you tell him, and you wish you could see his reaction more clearly. This way it seems he barely reacted, although he goes down to bite onto your collarbone which leaves you gasping.
You clutch his shoulders, frowning when he's still fully clothed. “And you?”
“You mean, if I had sex after giving birth?” he snorts, causing you to roll your eyes at him before you groan both in annoyance and pleasure.
“You know what I mean.”
“Then the answer is no,” he tells you, mouth pressed against your ear, so you can hear him clearly. “I haven't had sex with anyone else.”
“That's hard to believe.” you choke out, when he adds his fourth fingers making you breathe through it with a scrunched face.
He gives you the time to adjust, halting his movements. “I didn't. Believe it or not, I've found it hard to find someone else. Not that I was really looking for someone.”
It's the honesty that makes you pause, your heart hammering even faster and you wonder if he can feel it too with his chest pressed against your own. Before you can question him, your curiosity getting the best of you, he's already pumping his fingers again. Deciding you want to feel him, you hook your fingers underneath the hem of his sweatpants, hand disappearing into them as you finally grab him. He groans, surprised by your bolt move, as you slowly pump him.
You were right. He's not wearing any underwear, making it easier for you to access him. He feels just as thick as you remember him, the weight in your palm causing you to clench around his fingers.
“I need you.” you whisper, clearly enough for him to hear because you see him pulling away, staring at you.
“Don't you wanna cum? It'll be easier for me to--”
“I'm sure,” you interrupt him, pulling your hand out of his sweatpants. “Take your clothes off.” you tell him softly, surprised when he actually listens to you without any side remarks.
The loud thud of his clothes makes you both freeze, waiting for Yoojin to wake up but you barely hear the soft puffs leaving from the crib, before he goes back to you. You sit up, pushing him to lay down as he stares at you in confusion. There's not much place or time to actually speak, you're both aware you have to be quiet. Maybe you should just move it to the living room, but there's something thrilling about having sex knowing you've to keep your mouth shut.
“I wanna ride you.” you whisper, already sitting down onto his abdomen, his hardened length poking you into your ass.
“Holy fuck.” he grunts, hands gripping your hips before you lift yourself up, enough to grab his length and make yourself more comfortable.
His head pokes your entrance, your walls clenching just from the thought of feeling him stretching you, as you slide him up and down. Your other hand is outstretched onto his defined abs, feeling how tense they're. You know you're teasing him, but he doesn't say anything and simply lets you take the lead.
Maybe it's the understatement, knowing you're about to have sex for the first time since Yoojin was born. Or maybe he just got a lot more understanding, appreciating current situation. You'd never have thought it'd come to this again, even though your dreams have been wild these couple of months.
Slowly and cautiously, you slide down onto him, your mouth opening at the sudden stretch and burn that his fingers couldn't do. This way, he reaches you even deeper and he's not even halfway in. He's groaning, doing an awful job to contain the pleasure, while you whimper with each inch that you take him.
This has to be difficult for him too. If he's really telling the truth, which you believe him, he haven't had sex for a long time.
Oh, if you just knew he's minutes from spilling himself like some teenager.
Maybe it's just that exact reason, him not having sex for a long time. Or it's you and the way you feel around his length, making him throb inside of you as he twitches when you finally take all of him. A few seconds of adjusting yourself to his huge length, and you're already bouncing on him. Your arms failing you, your body falling onto Seokjin's chest as he holds your body even closer, meeting your thrusts with his hips. He's fucking into you, taking the control even though you're the one on top. He envelopes you in his arms, making you feel closer to him than ever.
You can't describe it, but this time it's different. It's not just sex full of lust and pleasure, there's something else there. You know you don't love each other, but there is a certain kind of chemistry going between you two. Instead of fucking you so hard trying to chase his own pleasure, his movements are quick but still soft. It might sound stupid or ridiculous, but it feels lot more closer. Like there's an actual connection between you two, and it's not just from the fact he's inside of you.
“Fuck, Jin, I can't--” you whimper into his neck, silencing your moans as he starts to fasten up.
“Come on, cum for me. Let me feel you.” he grunts into your hair, digging his fingers into your back and hips as he urges you to cum.
With a few more thrusts, you're cumming around him as your whole body shakes, but he's there to hold you through it.
”Shhh, you did so great. You were amazing.” he shushes you, his length twitching inside of you, reminding you of its presence and need.
You slide off him, settling yourself between his legs before you take him into your mouth, hand gripping the rest that you can't take. Bobbing your head and stroking him with your hand, you feel his fingers grabbing your hair. Swiping your tongue and repeating the same process couple of times, causes him to let out a low growl as he's spilling himself into your mouth. He twitches in your mouth, emptying himself and when he's done, he sighs.
You let him go with a pop sound, swallowing all of his cum as you sit down onto your knees, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“That was... fucking amazing.” he breathes out, his rigid breathing filling the bedroom.
The sex itself wasn't the longest you both had, but it was intense and probably the best one. Something's telling you he thinks the same thing as he seems to be far more affected than ever.
“Yeah,” you chuckle, agreeing with him as you stand up.
“Where are you going?” he asks immediately, already leaning against his elbows as he watches you in the darkness.
“To take a shower,” you answer, stating the obvious while a surprised 'oh' leaves his mouth. “Can you please watch Yoojin?”
He coughs, nodding his head remembering that you can't probably see him that well. “Sure.”
You go take a shower, smiling giddily for the whole time the water splashes onto your body, ignoring the little jumps your heart does every time you replay what has just happened. When you're done, Seokjin takes his turn to take a shower while you can't fall asleep. Staring at the ceiling, you're surprised when the bedroom door are pushed open. You don't move, nor close your eyes as you feel him getting into your bed. You don't comment it, nor does he. You're not even sure if he knows you're still awake and you wonder what's been going on in his head again.
What made him to come here and sleep next to you?
Nevertheless of your raging thoughts, you find yourself relaxing when you feel a warm body next to you. Small part of you wishes he'd pull you closer, letting you feel his warmth properly.
But even without that, you manage to fall asleep in a minute, enjoying his proximity and warmth while it lasts. And for the first time, you wake up next to him peacefully dreaming and sleeping in your bed.
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Text
Eternal Love of Dream - Chapter Next 5
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(Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/131730357839252427/)
It was the most exciting time of the year in Quinqui. It was time for harvest festival. This was a 7 day long festival with parades, performances from acrobats and a grand fair. Every year anyone related to Quinqui, no matter how far from home he might be, would make it a point to come. Even visitors from all over would gather here.
Bai Xian, the crown prince Ye Hua and their little son Ah-Li had also come to the fox den for this celebration. Ah-Li and Gungun were both super excited to go to the fair. Chong Lin was trying to keep them interested in other things long enough so that they could go only after the sun would go down a little. Bai Xian was so not wanting to walk around in the hot sun and had tasked Chong Lin with this duty.
She herself had come to Xiaobai's room and was helping her bathe and get dressed. Xiaobai had recovered quite a lot, but her wound still hurt if she tried to move quickly or even tried to comb her long hair. So Bai Xian had taken it upon herself to look after her favorite niece.
Dijun had ventured to the kitchen asking his mother-in-law's help to cook something tasty and nutritious for his wife. His mother-in-law was only too happy to oblige. Finding not much else to do by himself Ye Hua had joined in too. They all chatted and cooked away a whole feast with sweet and sour fish, noodle soup, congee and various types of cakes. All of them were feeling very accomplished. Dijun and Ye Hua loaded two trays with all the food and decided to go to Xiaobai's room so they all could eat together.
When the two reached Xiaobai's room, she had finished bathing and getting dressed. Bai Xian was combing her hair and they were chatting. "Please don't tell whatever I am about to say, to Dijun. I don't want him to feel any more guilty than what he is already feeling.", Fengjiu was saying. Dijun signalled to Ye Hua to stop and not enter the room. They both placed the food trays on a nearby table and waited. Ye Hua signalled to Dijun that he will be back soon and left in search of their sons.
"Ye Hua is a true gentleman!", mused Dijun and continued to eavesdrop. His wife was about to tell something to her aunt that she thought would make him feel guilty. So? It wasn't going to be pretty. But he was quite thick skinned and he could handle it. At least that's what he told himself at that time.
Fengjiu continued reminiscing and talking to her aunt. She was talking about some of the hardest days of her life and it wasn't easy for her. But this was her aunt and she was one person Fengjiu did not mind being herself with.
"I waited for Dijun for 73 days. Each day was harder than the one before, but I waited. Everyone told me he had chosen to go to demon realm with Ji Heng. I chose not to believe them.  I went to demon realm with Chong Lin to look for Dijun. There they told me he had been with Ji Heng. I was heartbroken.
I returned home here and was crying inconsolably in my room when medicine god Zhe Yan walked in. He sensed something off with me, checked my pulse and told me that I was pregnant. That moment! It changed my whole life.
I remember that night I did not sleep at all. But by the time morning came, I had made up my mind. God Zhe Yan  had left me two pills - one that would abort and another that would preserve the baby. He also left a note saying he would support me no matter what I picked.
This was my baby. Mine and Dijun's. The only man I have ever loved. This baby was symbol of my unconditional love for Dijun. I knew he had loved me sincerely too. May be after seeing Ji Heng in trouble, he had decided to spend the rest of his life with her. But I knew when he had told me he loved me, he had meant it. I would keep this baby and live for the baby. This baby would be my whole universe from then on.  I ate the pill that would preserve my baby.
Then I packed a few clothes, supplies to hide my birthmark, dress up as a man etc and left Quinqui. First I went to Sky Kingdom. Something in my heart was still not ready to let him go. I hoped to see him one last time. If he wanted to be with Ji Heng, all he had to do was tell me. I would get out of his way. But I didn't find him there. I knew I needed to be strong  for this baby. Especially since I would be his only parent. So I let go of everything and left sky kingdom.
From there I went to Nether world, and checked up on Ye Quingti. I knew I would pay his debt no matter what. I left a trinket with Lord Xie Gu so he could reach me when he needed me to wake Quingti up. And then i went to mortal realm and stayed there until... "
"Why mortal realm? Didn't you know you would be all alone and you wouldn't be able to use your magic either? How could you have acted so foolishly, Fengjiu?", scolded Bai Xian.
"Aunt, I chose mortal realm because I did not want anyone to find me. I knew if any of you had learned that I was pregnant, you would confront Dijun and make him take responsibility for me and the baby. I knew what it was like, to stay away from the one I loved, I could never wish that for him.", Fengjiu explained.
Bai Xian rolled her eyes indignantly and continued with the questions. "How did you manage your pregnancy? Going into labor? The delivery? Did you take care of yourself properly at all?". She was seriously concerned.
"I did the best I could. I went to mortal realm and worked as a cook in a restaurant at that time. It was really hard work all day long. My body ached all the time and I was exhausted. But at least the owner who was an old lady, was kind to me. She let me eat leftovers  and also let me take breaks often in my last month of pregnancy. She even revived me when I passed out from 3 days of labor pains and she helped me deliver Gungun safely. I am so grateful to her.
I was really sad when her son showed up 3 months later and wanted to force himself on me. I fought him, made him unconscious and ran away with Gungun. I did suffer physically and I was also very sad to leave the old lady to look after herself. But, I had no choice, so I did what I could.", Fengju tried in vain to make light of it. Bai Xian was appalled at what she heard.
And so was Dijun. He felt he had been too naive in thinking he could handle whatever he heard about her days in mortal realm. He had really underestimated her hardships.
Her days had been hard. When she had given him up, she had also given up her family and friends. All because of him. He knew he could never repay her for the things he had put her through.
"You are a Princess of Quinqui. You are the Monarch of this kingdom. You are the Empress of one of the most prestigious, powerful and revered god in the Sky Kingdom. Yet you had to work in restaurant and pass out from labor pains with no one to look after you. That's just so ...... ", Bai Xian was so furious, so flabbergasted that she could not find the right words at all.
"How can you love someone so much? How can you love him so much?", she asked incredulously to Fengjiu.
"Love is mysterious in its ways.", Fengjiu replied with a faint smile.
She knew her aunt was very angry. So Fengjiu reached for her aunt's hand. She hugged her aunt and wiped her aunt’s tears smilingly. Bai Xian's anger melted away. No one could stay angry at Fengjiu for long. With more tears in her eyes, Bai Xian planted a kiss on Fengjiu's head and held her close.
Dijun decided it was about time the ladies were interrupted. He wasn't sure he could bear to know any more of the hardships this delicate woman had toughed out because of him. He wasn't that thick skinned after all. He picked up the tray of food that had gone cold and heated everything back up with magic. He saw Ye Hua return with both the kids and together they walked in.
They sat in a circle and ate together. Both guys were pretty happy seeing their wives eat and praise the food they had prepared.
Dijun kept stealing weird glances at Xiaobai. She could sense something off about him. Was he worried about something? Was he about to go away soon and leave her for long time again? That thought scared her and made her very sad. But watching him smile at Gungun, she reasoned with herself that that must not be the case. She would have to ask him later when they were alone, she decided.
And she did get a chance to be alone with him soon. After the food was all gobbled up, Ah-Li reminded everyone that they had to go to the fair after lunch. So Gungun, Ah-Li, Bai Xian and Ye Hua all got ready to go.
“I will bring you sugar paintings, mom. Tell me what kind you want?”, Gungun said.
“Bring me back one dragon and one fox.”, she replied and exchanged a meaningful look with Dijun. That did bring back fond memories and a smile to Dijun’s face. She was happy to see her trick had worked to lighten his mood.
After they were all gone, Dijun closed the door behind them. He came back to her and helped her walk to the window. Although it was quite bright and sunny outside, the glorious willow tree in the yard provided just enough shade on the window seat. They both sat there with Dijun wrapping his arms around Xiaobai.
“What’s going on, Dijun? What’s been worrying you? Please tell me. And please be completely honest with me, ok? No matter how bad whatever that is, I want to know. And I want to work together with you to make it better. So tell me why you are so sad, so worried?” Xiaobai said looking into his eyes with  sincerity.
“Xiaobai, I overheard what you were telling your aunt about the time of Gungun’s birth. I am feeling so guilty about that. As a husband I have failed you. Miserably failed you. I am so very sorry.”, Dijun’s voice cracked.
Xiaobai let out a long sigh and took his hands in hers. She looked at him, quite relieved that the worry wasn't anything about their future. She began to talk. “Dijun, what has passed is gone by. No matter what, we can never change it. So please let it all go. I do feel guilty about misunderstanding you, about talking to you coldly last time we met in the Sky Kingdom and keeping your son away from you for so long. But I am learning from it and learning to let it go. Let’s promise to always be completely honest with each other. Let’s start over, ok?”
A deep sigh left Dijun’s mouth as relief washed over him. His Xiaobai was still willing to give him another chance. She was asking to start afresh with him.
“When did my silly little fox become so wise?”, he chuckled and petted her nose. Hugging her, he let out a long sigh. She shifted to be more closer to him.
He pulled her close and said, “Are you tired, Xiaobai? Sleep a little if you are tired.” He planted a soft kiss on her hair, “Be a good girl and take rest for a while. We can take a small walk outside later if you feel better.”
“Hhmm..”, she said. Then she  sunk her head on his chest and closed her eyes contentedly.
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frostbite-the-bat · 2 years
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(Some Turning Red spoilers)
Again on the topic of parents croticising Turning Red - I think they fail to understand that the movie isn't just for kids, and that the lesson there isn't only for them
It's also for the parents to realize how their parenting can be affecting their child
This is also why so many people find the movie relatable on many levels especially with the parent and child relationship, it portrays parents with high expectations quite realistically, but also just the pressure and expectations placed on them from older generations - there's also tradition which I cannot speak much on as I don't participate in traditions such as that and I'm from a family that isn't traditional almost at all
Even Mei's mom and the whole family learn a lesson, they communicate things better by the end and grow to be better people
The movie isn't just about
OHH KID DISRESPECT PARENT HOW HORRIBLE
Yeah that stuff can happen and it does happen, but honestly it's not as bad as not letting your child explore who they are and grow up, they do not need to be a copy of you
(Again I now realize why people have compared this to Brave)
And honestly I think those people just see a kids movie that's an attack on them and not a thing to learn from
Which is... Funny since Mei's mom acts similarly in some scenes even if they're meant to be the more funny ones
More rambly over here, don't mind me -
Also can I just?? Talk about the fact they talk about menstruation like it's a normal thing? And how the characters speak? I AM SO SURPRISED DISNEY ALLOWED THIS??
This is GOOD!! I needed this as a kid myself because I was so scared about these things! I thought I was just. Gross and humiliating to get your period. And it's even worse for me as a trans person, but that's not what the movie is about I'm speaking from my own personal experience and praising the movie for that
And like sure I know the movie isn't perfect nothing is but this movie does so much right in my opinion and it obviously wasn't made for everyone but I fit into the category of people it was made for I think and I LOVE IT
Mei and her friends remind me so much of hanging out with my best friend and our small close group after school and just being goofy as hell, especially me since I can get quite hyper and goofy and it's FUN
Also the whole crush thing while ai don't relate to it I sure had friends who were like that and it's just so goofy /pos I love it
And like!! It's not structured in a way a lot of Pixar or Disney stuff is!! The animators and everyone must've had so much fun with the movie
They hook you in SO WELL in just the start from how the movie title is shown and all the visuals almost straight out of music videos when she's just hanging out with friends
There's absolutely stuff I am missing and stuff I need to think about more but just urgh
This movie is good man
AND IT MANAGES TO MAKE ME BAWL MY EYES OUT AS WELL LIKE (I mean I'm sensitive as hell I cry EASILY)
Some of the scenes HIT SO HARD THEY DIDN'T HOLD BACK LIKE GOOD CHRIST THE RITUAL SCENE
And just?? I wasn't Mei's age THAT long ago I'm only turning 18 in 2 months so a lot of this is still relatively close to me and just AUGH
I LOVE how unapologetic the friend group is like
People a have been calling some of this like?? A cringy 13 yr old but I never saw that I just see someone just!! Having fun like YES GOOD FOR YOU YEAUGH EDUCATE KIDS ABT THIS NORMALIZE IT
Also um I put this away bc i got food and lost my train if thought I'm ending it here
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I got tagged by @tough-girl9 to list my top 7 comfort films which turned into a top 8
I'm more of a comfort song type, so that was a tough (girl) one
1.: Treasure Planet
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I adore this movie! I loved it when I was smaller and I love it now. The only reason I didn't watch it to death was the fact that I lost the DVD. It's gorgeous and although the main premise is space pirates thanks to the focus on the characters it feels grounded and easier to relate to or to feel simpathy towards them. Besides Jim Hawkins being a childhood crush I could always relate to him. The feeling of being lost, aimless and the words
"- I can't watch you throw away your future like that!
- What future?"
always spoke to me. It's not an edge and teen angst fest tho, John Silver and his speech is both in character and always chokes me up and gives me hope that there are pathes that could lead to the future I want and that I wasn't abled to see.
It's the perfect movie for those who feel lost or confused and want to sail to far away planets from their current situation, those who want to be understood and given hope to.
(I could gush about the art and animation and characters for hours, but this is not the time)
Amazing background music and the songs fit well with the steampunk-ish style of the movie
2.: Ratatouille
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A family classic. We even have the ps2 game and it's one of those rarities which my family could watch anytime. Besides being beautiful and having a 10/10 aesthetic (and a huge dose of food p0®π) it's a grounded movie.
The premise is as feaver dream-y and goofy as it gets. A rat learns english (or french? The movie takes place in Paris but it's either confusing or I'm just a dum dum) and thanks to an imaginary friend version of his chef idol ends up in his restaurant and makes a deal with the garbage boy of whom the chef thinks can cook and reluctantly agrees give him another chance to make the soup that was actually made by (fixed by) the rat aka Remy. So the boy Linguini and Remy has to team up where it seems like Linguini is making the soup but he is actually in Remy's control.
But the movie is actually about being an artist and coming from an unexpected place and being surrounded by people who don't support you or believe in you even if they were just trying to protect you or think that it's the best for you.
Fellow artists could definetly appreciate the movie. Whether you croche, draw, animate, sculpt, dance, act or do any kind of art I would absolutely recommend.
Le Festin is great and is on loop during dinner
Warning: get food ready because you WILL get hungry. Even if it's just bread this movie will make it taste like garlic bread just you wait
3.: Strange Magic
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It's one of the controversial ones. Not everyone likes it and a lot hate it but that's okay.
It's one of those films where either you praise it to death or wonder which deeper layer of hell did it crawled out of. There is no in between. I'm one from the first category. Even my IT teacher called it a classic and I roped most of my friend group into the SM cult.
It has a certain tumblr aesthetic and feels like a fanficrion the best way possible. One of those where altho something unsuspected happens it's written well, the characters are in character it's finished and the grammar is proper as well.
It's a jukebox musical which is one of my fauvorite kind of musical, the covers are amazing and damn they can change up the originals songs aesthetic to it's opposite so damn well (Trouble - Elvis Presley)
It centers around love and I ain't no shipper nor romantic but even I was gushing over the main couple which is spoiler alert so that's all you get
I absolutely adore how the characters express themselves with their wings and body! I'm all about feelings and expressions!
So try it out and even if you don't like it you're allowed to stop. And if you like it: welcome to the fandom in this house we respect Marianne, the Bog King is a snack and must protect Dawn at all cost!
(this is a pick me up movie for me the other two more of a shoulder to cry on)
Speaking of crying
4.: The Little Prince
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Not gonna lie I was extremely suspicious of this movie. I immediately categorised it as a cheap cash grab which only use sonething known and beloved because it's known and beloved so people will buy.
I expected the Emoji Movie, I got the LEGO Movie.
This movie. Hoo boy, this movie. You know, it's nothing, I only cried 4 times after all!
It's so respectful towards the material it's given. So heartfelt and creative and artistic! It's the Little Prince sequel that fits well in modern times.
In this film the Little Prince is a story that an old man tells his new young girl of a neighbour. Both of them needed a friend and it's one of those unexpected duos where the girl is forced to be mature way too early and the man is way too childish so they balance each other out and the man gives the girl (I can't remember their names god damn it) the breath of fresh air she needed.
This movie is so damn cute! I mentioned a shoulder to cry on movies and pick me up movies, this one is both! It's a bittersweet dream!
You are going to cry. So get ready.
5.: Hunchback of Notre Dame
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Oh man oh God oh man oh God oh man
I'm obsessed with this movie (and musical)
It's dark and mature and definetly a-shoulder-to-cry-on movie. I love and relate to Quasimodo. Altho I'm not deformed I was always the weird girl everyone picked on and hated and I still can't understand why. I think I'm a perfectly normal person but when my mom calls me a freak/eccentric behind my back and my aunt gives me a gift with the words "since you looked nothing like the other girls on your prom..." I... I'm just more confused honestly. I'm always so damn tired and basically a hermit so thanks to that Out There hit way too close to home.
Esmeralda is a 10/10 role modell. She is a beautiful soul inside and outside. And she's romani. Which is the most hated minority in my country.
The movie deals with lust, abusive and manipulative parents, racism, religion, "ugly"ness, lonelyness. These might sound repelling but to see something similar happen to you/a character looking/being/sounding like you is worth more than life, honestly. Unless you can live through this kinship with a character, you have no idea how needed this is.
(I cried so hard watching The Grinch (2018) since I used to have Panic disorder and I'm an anxious person to see him being scared the way I do and to fiddle with his fingers and think like I do was the most comforting thing I felt in my life)
This movie is so damn gorgeous. I know I said that to almost every movie in this list but this is a biblical epic gorgeous. And of course, Hellfire is THE best Diney villain song FIGHT ME I'M RIGHT
The musical is even darker and more serious but damn it's worth a watch. It's on youtube.
6. Brother Bear
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This movie is *drumroll* gorgeous. Each movie on this list is gorgeous in different ways. This is nature-gorgeous.
Pick me up movie, definetly. It's mostly adorable but they tap into some meaningful things and there are tragedies happening, my dude!
Like Hunchback of Notre Dame the main subject is "who is the monster and who is the man?". This movie shows some perspective, I tell you!
7.: Coco
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I know the hungarian translation by heart
It's very family oriented, so if you don't have any or have a bad realtionship with it, this movie will give you a heartache
This movie takes place in Mexico and explores parts of mexican culture.
I adore and am interested in different cultures, folklore, tradition and religion so I was head over heels really quick with this movie!
Gorgeous imagery and music. Heartfelt, that last Remember Me WILL get you
8.: The Croods
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Y'ALL
I know, it looks like a movie that made only for kids. But dude! It's about family, change and how people deal with it. It takes place in an alternative world, where animals we know are mixed together (MOUSELEFANT!! CROCO DOGGO!!) the most adorable way possible and it takes place in prehistoric times.
Oh god, this movie is full of feelings and gorgeous imagery! Pick me up, definetly! Of course, it's full of jokes but they are so witty to me!
Sorry, I got impatient by the end of it
I would tag people if I would know anyone well in this site. The 2 people I want to tag: is already tagged me and the other one is probably too busy
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azenta · 4 years
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why did you retype as 3 fix? I'm almost the same type that you wrote in your desc and I don't see having a 3 fix the way you describe it in your tags at all.
Lmao I was joking in my tags. I didn't retype because of astro bs. I retyped for the following reasons:
4 core/fix means a sense of lacking unicity and so a quest in pursuing it. But I hadn't that feeling I had to prove how unique I was, or that I wasn't unique enough or too normal and bland. I know I am unique, I know I have my specialness, my color. So, I basically have no issue with being unique and so don't do image things as a mean to feel unique. I use my unicity to stand out, to somehow get the attention for something else, but not to prove it.
There was some few behavioral patterns that cued me toward 3 too, but of course, i investigated the why behind, I'll come to it later. But one of those behaviors is how I kinda lowkey show off. It's subtle behind a screen, but irl it was hard to miss, especially when I gave "class" to my clients. I have a way to reclaim the attention and to actually "act" and incarnate roles when I give some fictional examples. I become the center of attention very easily if I desire it. People actually listen to me, they get hanged on in part because of the context too, I shine when I am in my domain of expertise. I noticed this tendency on screen too, but it was easier to convince me it was for something else since I had the time to think (and so distort my perception like a real Ni dom). But basically, in one of the gc discord I am, the first thing I did when i first talked was to get to how I clothed myself at work (and how I stranded out at work because of this) and actually sent pictures, which lead me to "am I really showing off like a fucking Prada??". So... this showing off made me first question about a 4w3 fix, but the 4 component didn't seem to be the main reason for those attitudes.
So here I came with "why tf am I doing this? What motivates me?". And first thing happening is me having no conscious clue of why. Which is already fishy imo, especially for a 4 fix that usually totally know when shame hit them. In general, I barely notice when I felt shame until very recently when I could finally catch the feeling, even if it wasnt the predominant one. It was about failing, failing to kinda succeed and show how competent and resourceful I was despite my lack of expertise in those circumstances. It lead me to an "anger crisis", close to an anxiety attack, but I was just utterly pissed off, felt powerless af, disappointed and lowkey ashamed. One of my coworker took me away and took time with me so I could decompress, and this is when I felt the most shame. It should be a client crying out of frustration, here, where I was sitting, with my coworker taking care of them, not me a fucking social worker actually on a fucking shift?? Wtf?? I almost wanted to avoid my coordinator to explain him what happened, I was scared to get reprimanded, even tho it is totally not how we proceed at my job. He just welcomed me warmly and questioned the deeper reason behind. I already had part of the answer, but I was still too emotionally fragile to think it out. In the end, i realised I was kinda seeking some approval, some praise in my 5 ways. It is not predominant, but it was still there.
Also, I thought back about my childhood and how I was raised on the Image side. I kinda found that I was really attention seeking with my parents, and the way to get it was to be good at "things" (like drawing, or school. I even took dance classes, and got the praise of my parent, my mom particularly). In fact, rn I realise the image part was to gain the attention of my mom since I felt she was more absent than my father (thus the 5 core in part, + my father fucking up), and the way to get it was to be good and get good. But, she still accepted me when I had harder time, like poorer result, and didn't impose strict standards either, so that's why it ended up as a last fix. She supported me in my difficulty, but I still learned I needed to demand attention and be somehow performative to get it. I always was seen as the unique precious daughter, so the 4 always was well fed in me, but I end up using it in a 3 way to boost the result of what 3 wants to get. Appraisal, admiration, a sense of worth through its achievement.
So, overall, that's the main reasons and reasoning leading to it. Being soc blind kinda eliminated many stereotypical 3 manifestation, so it made me question for a while. But, it explains better the shame aspect and my on and off relation with emotions (omitting 5 core and 1/9 fix really don't help the case either...).
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lemongogo · 7 years
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ok not to be cliche but i can 100% relate to your family post, not that I'm saying i understand how you feel or anything because we all have different things happening but i have the same situation where i pretty much am the disappointment but fuck it i have so many things to push me thru and i just really wanna let u know that you have the whole voltron com. or any other community or your friends to support you!! plz don't let your family put you down, i won't let my folks put me down anymore!!
sorry to hear that you also have these feelings too. if i could take them away i would. being constantly reminded of what you dont do, cant do, and wont do in relation to your siblings and quite literally everybody else around you is so mentally degrading on a daily basis that im actually surprised ive made it this long with them. i was honestly feeling really good this week, like i didnt have one break down nor did i get too overtly anxious about anything- i had the energy and the motivation to do what was required of me @ w my job and its such a difference now that they’re back. i automatically feel so drained already bc it feels like they just suck the life out of me. they make me want to just lay down and not exist anymore because quite literally nothing is good enough for them. when theyre not always dragging me through the dirt about this or that, its like they dont even care abt me and im sorry to just spew all of my personal issues out there but like ? they are obviously more involved in my brother and sister than they are with me and that does absolutely nothing to help me want to even go out and do stuff with my life though. i dont get praised for good grades, good scores, work outside of home, etc. instead everything is always a critique because im not where they want me to be i guess. like?? its so unbelievable jsut how little i care about my family and that honestly scares me a lot. people talk about the relationships they have with their parents and it just makes me realize how messed up mine is? i dont hug my parents, i dont tell them anything personal, i dont tell them that i love them nor do they do it either, i dont talk to them about what im interested in, i fight with them daily, etc.
its just so hard to go through this every. single day and i think this is the first time ive realized just how bad it is? like how much i want to fucking die when they’re near me jc
but thank you for taking the time to send this to me alongside your support. as bad as it sounds, it helps to know that there are people who are also in this position who know just how exhausting it is to deal w/ this all. of course i wouldnt wish this on anybody nor would i be glad that theyre dealing with this either, but idk its nice to know im not alone. its kinda moments like these that help me realize that it wont be like this forever- once i move out to college i can focus on myself 100% without so much as needing to see or hear them every day. its silly but its the tiny part of me that wants to be petty and accomplish more that my family has in their lives that keep be going :/ thank you so much for letting me know that you guys are here for me though, like that honestly means more than you could imagine. also, thank you for keeping yourself in mind throughout all youve been through as well; im glad youve found things to help you go along and i hope the rest of your day goes well
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