#I don't remember seeing it on any other forums I participated in at the time

[an-aura-about-you]

you ever see a post where a person says a thing, another person says, "That's definitely not true," regarding the first post, and you actually DO remember the thing being true but it's such an inconsequential, niche thing that you know it's not worth it to make it an addition on that post?

[pigtailedgirl]

Now I'm curious how you got into due south originally, if you feel like explaining :)

Sure! It's nothing too exciting I guess, but my Dueser origins begin as a wee girl. I know my family must have vaguely watched it because I remember the image of All The Queen's Horses mountie chase pre-dates my series watch beginnings. I know my grandma later confessed as I had it on tv one summer that she watched it. Cause cute Benton Fraser lol.

But real seeing and watch began with a random catch of Free Willie one morning on the Showcase Network. Thank you kindly Showcase.

Yeah, I caught it one morning and stayed to watch because I think I vaguely recognized it, and just fell in love with it's charm and wit and Fraser and Ray. It was the first episode so great timing too. And they had it schedule set to air one episode in the morning, the same at night, five days a week. Perfect for catching up.

Promos were hilarious too. I should see if any are online.

Oh, and it was original edit, so it had extra scenes like the different Victoria's Secret ones.

So I caught up on the series quick. Also, what I think really cemented my season 1 and 2 love was they played that set for months at least before switching to the 3/4 season. That highlighted the difference in tone to my POV too I think, and it's why I kinda view them apart still.

But I really got to experience show first this way.

I think I found fandom when starting Livejournal same time the show hit resurgence there. And I happily caught the tail end of Yahoo Groups so got to back read fan stuff there. Missed most of Ray Wars. Yay. There was the 2000's snippets, but everyone was so fun at content creation and love, that was the best take-aways. It made for a great time. I participated in a watch-along! A big highlight of fannishness for me! That's when I saw The Pilot. Or my fav was squeeing about Pizza and Promises.

Just, some of the many wonderful fans like Nina_DS and movies_michelle and duenorthlaurie for episode discussion, and Sdwolfpup, Belmanoir, Aingeal8C as content creators, or Scotchsour, and Lozenger8 who made some banging icons....Truly, there were so many wonderful people, I couldn't even name them all. Due South provided so many wonderful glimpses of other fans to share with. LJ friends were so lovely.

I fell out in LJ world strangely cause I felt kinda outside the fandom wave as it crested I think, not shipping F/K or really loving those seasons as much. And just personally felt not into fannishness as whole after awhile. It's a me thing across everything, not just Due South. I took an internet break for a long time. I still watched the series on tv, with Showcase and TV Tropolis and DejaView lol, and by then DVD often. Along with new TV of course, although not much cause Tumblr me is not too different from old LJ me. Still kept an eye of forums, sometimes, or such, cause I love discussion as you can see by my screeds versus tech/creative skills, but not actively or with comment.

I return cause, I don't know, seeing people express love for the series again is hitting a happy place of nostaglia I think. I had a rough bout with real-life and comfort fannish stuff is reminding life was full of small good moments. The joy of the endearing nature of the show and the spirit of love for it in the fandom is proof of stuff enduring. Joy that it's still on rebranded Showcase here on the weekends lol, even if you never know which season.

And a new vidder made a wonderful F/V fanvid that, timing again as I hit Tumblr, I stumbled into, and just had me crying when I watched at the beauty and love I remembered in the pair. It spoke to my love of them so hard I think it jolted me into thinking hell yea that love deserves happy expression, I can do it too maybe. Sadly they took it down, but yeah, that was the spark, and that's me fannish story.

[sillycoffeewizard]

Hi everyone, and this is my post with theories and headcanons about John Titor because I love her so much and she is my daughter!! <3

❗The theories and headcanons were created with the help of my wife, who I told everything I know about this character so far (my knowledge may be incomplete). These are just our thoughts and guesses. We may be wrong on some points, sorry!!! But we have been doing a little research with John Titor's story and her voice lines in the game, and today I want to share it

John Titor's diary

In her diary entries, John Titor notes the weather on a particular day. e.g.: June 16, rain; January 29, snow, and so on. perhaps this helps her remember events better

She describes war and chaos in the world. There could be several possibilities here:

She has experienced violence in the past (abuse, abusive behavior, etc.), which traumatized her, and the war is a veiled description of her experience. This is how she conveys her feelings and perception of the world around her;

There was a war at the time (the diary does not give the year), she was a victim of warfare and violence (she was taken prisoner, sent to a concentration camp and had horrible things done to her). She kept a diary at the time or wrote about past events;

You probably know the story of John Titor, who called himself a time traveler. On a forum dedicated to creepypasta he wrote "predictions of the future", detailing events that he said might happen. Maybe John Titor (the character) was fascinated by this story and just made it all up, based on what the real John Titor predicted, because her personality was built on this mysterious person. Or...John Titor (the character) calls herself a time traveler for a reason. Maybe she really is one, and in diary she describes an event from her time (war, cancellation of the Olympics, chaos in the world) while predicting the future. These are the two reasons she has that name in the game

Fan fact: her badge looks a lot like the symbol of the existing "John Titor Foundation" that published a book about the "time traveler" that included his forum entries

1. Reverse: 1999 wiki, 2. Wikipedia

John Titor's voice lines

I was using other people's translation of her hexadecimal code phrases into words. I'm also making assumptions based on the theories i've previously described

Under "to the future" she says "crazy like me.". According to previous assumptions about her diary entries, it can be said that she is traumatized by her experiences of violence or war. she may have depression and PTSD, and this phrase is her idea of the future, which is typical of people with mental disorders;

Under "hobby" she says "Corvette 1966 black". According to Google, that's the make of the car. Why is she talking about it? Let's look at "bond: night", her phrase is "wanna go on a drive". I think these phrases are related. Maybe she doesn't sleep at night (she has bruises under her eyes) and it's at night that she can spend time doing her hobby: she's literally driving a car. Or it's in her imagination and she's just reflecting in this time;

In the "hat and hair" column she says "hey don't touch me". She may have experienced violence, it could have been bullying by someone or it could have happened during the war she wrote about in the diary. In any case, she is not tactile at all as a result of the traumatic events, she hates to be touched and doesn't let anyone touch her. You can also see that her hair is cut unevenly, which could also be due to the traumatic events;

Under "clothing and torso" she says "a soldier's physique". This description could mean that she witnessed or participated in warfare and/or, again, experienced violence. Either way, she notes her resilience. She was able to endure and survive horrific events as if she were a soldier. Or is this another reference to "time traveler" John Titor, who called himself a soldier

Why does John Titor only interact with everyone using hex code?

Given the theory that she is indeed a time traveler, we can make the assumption that code is the "language of the future," a way of interacting between people whose lives are entirely built on and dependent on technology;

Perhaps because of the traumatic events I wrote about earlier, John Titor no longer wants to associate herself with people in any way, to be like them, to speak human language. She decided to completely restructure her personality and become something like a mechanical machine

That's it for now! I hope this post is enjoyed by the likes of theory and headcanon fans in this fandom, I really tried hard to make it as good as possible. Again, I don't consider everything described above to be canon, it's just speculation and conjecture. I wanted to share my thoughts, and I'm proud of it because I love John Titor!! Also my knowledge may be incomplete and my views may differ. I welcome constructive criticism and reasoning <3

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Hi there!

I hope you're doing well. 🙂

My random question is (because I think you've mentioned DND) : For someone wanting to start playing dnd, what advice would you give?

Thank you for asking! Always exciting to see somebody else getting into D&D. I haven’t played as much as others, but hopefully this will help get the ball rolling.

First rule everyone should know: No D&D is better than bad D&D

We’re all here to have fun, so if you're not having fun then you should stop

It doesn’t even have to be because you’re having a problem with a person at the table, it could just be the story everyone is telling is just not one you want to participate it

We have a limited time on this earth, don’t force yourself to do something you don’t really want to do

Next, don't do a paid campaign for your first game

There are a lot of paid campaigns online and while I'm not opposed to the idea, you're still learning and so shouldn't have to pay for a DM

If you don't have somebody to play with in person, check out your local gaming store to see if anybody is running a game, failing that, roll20 and D&D Beyond forums are a good place to start

Once you find a group, make sure to communicate any boundaries or triggers you have early

This is a role playing game and depending on the game, things can get intense, so make sure you're at a table that will respect those boundaries

After that, talk to the DM as much as possible

DMs want you to ask about the story they're trying to make, you're not bothering them with questions, I promise you

If you're having trouble figuring out a backstory, they're the best person to ask; and if they're being cagey about helping you, that's red flag

Also, try to get to know the other people at the table before game time

If you're playing with strangers, you should have a session zero allowing everybody to chat and get a feel for each other

These are the people you're going to be telling this story with, take the time to listen to them and ask about their characters

This is collaborative story telling, so communication and listening to each other is essential

I'd also recommend starting with a low level campaign (levels 1-3) to get a grasp of the rules

Staring with a martial character (barbarian, fighter, rogue, or monk), might also be best too as you don't have to keep track of spells

Of course, if a martial class isn't fun for you, disregard, I'm sure you can figure it out

I'd also say that at the minimum you should buy The Player's Handbook. The rest can come with time and necessity

D&D Beyond is also a really good resource when it comes to character sheets and creation

Also, remember that the game you're going to play isn't going to be like a live play or Baldur's Gate

You're a bunch of nerds playing make believe with more math; chances are a lot of it is going to be derivative, and that's okay

So long as you and everyone else at the table is having fun, that's all that matters

[nighttime-tea-party]

since you say youve been in the kuro fandom even before BoC aired, could you tell me about how it was back then? :D ive always been interested in learning how internet culture used to be, how things eventually changed, how they improved/declined etc, more so when the current community is pretty much dead. was there an experience that marked you, what do you remember most fondly? was there an event that excited the fandom more than any other (like the release of a chapter or smth)? which blogs were the most popular? Its okay if you dont want to tho, i understand!

Super interesting question! I hope I can provide some equally interesting information in return.

Before the fandom had reached Tumblr, much of it centred around a forum, or at least much of what I knew. It wasn't originally a Kuroshitsuji forum but a sub-forum of a Bleach forum, actually. I think it was called Bleach Asylum? And I don't know exactly how it came to be but I think that Bleach forum had lots of sub forums for then-popular anime and manga but Kuroshitsuji gained so much popularity and the fandom happened to gather there, so that sub forum really took off and it ended up being an anchor point for the fandom. I used to always look for the most recent scanlations there, back before we were able to buy them legally.

I didn't actively participate in that forum but I lurked occasionally. It was full of wild discussions, one of which was the "two Ciel(s) theory"/"2CT" as it was called back then. It had a strong following on the website back then already. I sadly don't remember any of the other theories that were making rounds back then...

I didn't really participate in much fandom stuff back then, limited my art posts to deviantArt and my personal facebook... but eventually, I made a tumblr specifically to interact with the fandom.

As for blogs, I don't really like doing any name dropping, especially because it would go into some people who used to ship sebaciel and turned anti, and other stuff I'd rather not talk about. I do feel like back in the day, there were a couple of gigantic Kuroshitsuji blogs with massive followings that got a LOT of asks every day (to the point where it seemed like a full time job to keep up with them). Discussion around sebaciel was very different, there have always been people who disliked it but unfounded rumours like "did you know that Kuroshitsuji was supposed to be a yaoi" made rounds without people questioning it. That always annoyed me a little tbh haha.

There was one fan artist on deviantArt whose name I sadly don't remember but I think they were THE kuro artist in Western fandom back then because their style looked very similar to the anime style. I still see their art sometimes.

And fun fact on the side, I grew up in German fandom spaces and we had a big website called Animexx (I think it's still around) that was dedicated specifically to all things manga, anime, and related stuff. They had really convenient ways of browsing on-site fanart, fanfic, doujinshi, cosplay, and other fan creations, as well as forums and ways to host your own fan events. Until the early 2010s, I hung out there a lot so until then, my perspective is distorted by that German lens. I used to post my early Kuroshitsuji fanart there too.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! I feel like I could go on tangents for much longer but idk how interesting that would be.

[armoricaroyalty]

the 90-9-1 rule, or A Partial Answer to the Eternal Question of 'Why Don't My Posts Get More Notes?'

In the small amount of time I’ve been on Al Gore’s internet, I have acquired a small amount of wisdom, which I now share with you: 90% of people don’t engage.

This theory of internet engagement has been floating around online since at least 2006, and as such, it goes by a lot of different names: participation inequality, the 1% rule, the 90-9-1 principle. Whatever name you encounter it under, the principle is the same: on any given website, most of the content is generated by only 1% of the user base.

This theory divides internet users into three camps:

Heavy Contributors are people who use the website every day and generate the vast majority of its content. In earlier eras of the internet, these were people posting in forums, maintaining their own geocity or angelfire pages, and setting up webrings to link related content and form communities of like-minded people. In the current age, the category of ‘heavy contributors’ includes influencers and content creators on platforms like YouTube and TikTok, but it also includes the people who remember to like, subscribe, and smash that bell icon. On websites like Tumblr, a heavy contributor is more likely to be a person who likes and reblogs without generating original content or adding commentary to others’ posts. But heavy contributors are also the big-time posters, the ones making gifsets, fic, viral shitposts, and other kinds of content. For these people, the internet is a social, creative place, and they go online to socialize and create. They generate the vast majority of the content everyone consumes and enjoys. And according to the 90-9-1 principle, these users represent only 1% of the people who use the internet.

Intermittent Contributors are people who use the website frequently and occasionally post. In modern times, this might be someone who mostly engages through likes and the occasional reblog. In fan communities and on websites like AO3, they might be an avid consumer of content, reading every fic with their OTP, but that passion doesn’t usually motivate them to leave comments, write fic of their own, or share recommendations. The intermittent contributors might be just as active as the heavy contributors, but their online presence is smaller. They make less of a splash than their noisier counterparts in the 1%. According to the theory, these users represent 9% of the people who use the internet.

Infrequent Contributors (lurkers) are everyone else. Because they don’t generate much (or any) content, it’s difficult to track their presence and behavior. Some sign on every day and read everything that’s posted without ever adding to the conversation. They might check Tumblr on their phones during breaks at work and never think about it otherwise. They might have an account they use once every three months when they remember it exists. They might never create an account, and just browse the front pages of sites like Reddit. According to the theory, these users represent 90% of the people who use the internet.

To people in the 1%, the behavior of the lurkers and intermittent contributors feels absolutely outlandish. Why bother signing on if you’re not going to make anything or contribute to the conversation? Why follow an account if you’re never going to like or reblog? Human beings have a tendency to see their behavior as “normal” and assume everyone else is doing the same, and that tendency toward generalization can be really blinding for people who exist in tiny, exceptional categories like the 1% of ‘active’ users.

The assumption that everyone uses the internet like they do can often make the people in the 1% feel very, very lonely, especially the creatives. You work for hours on a story or an illustration, hit ‘post,’ and get only a few comments and likes. You’ve got followers, you’ve got an audience, why is your work being met with crickets? If you’re posting in the hopes that other people will engage with your content, it can be very disheartening to create something and be met with silence by the vast majority of your followers.

The truth is that 90% of your followers just won’t engage. That doesn’t mean they’re not reading your stuff. That doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy your stories. That doesn’t mean they’re not looking forward to your next update or they’re not turning your story over in their heads while they wait for the bus. It just means that they’re not engaging with it in a way that is visible to you.

Think about it. You might be very active on one platform and quiet on another. You have read many books in your life, but how many letters have you written to authors? When you see a movie in theaters, is your first instinct to get online and tweet at the actors and directors? When you watch YouTube videos and TikToks, do you feel the urge to make your own, or do you just think “cool video!” and move on with your life?

I’ve been afflicted with Chats-Too-Much since birth, so I am inordinately active on talky platforms like Tumblr and Discord. But on YouTube, I’m an internet ghost. I have a few creators whose videos I watch avidly (and often multiple times). I follow them, I have the bell dinged, I even support a few on patreon. But I don’t comment on videos and rarely ever like them because that’s just not how I engage on that platform.

The 90-9-1 rule isn’t an absolute. Actual studies have found that the real percentages of different types of users varies from site-to-site. In the 1990’s and early 2000’s, online participation required a much greater degree of expertise and technical know-how. In the modern era, with the almost-universal implementation of like buttons, voting systems, and internal bookmarking features like AO3’s, more users fall into that middle category of intermittent contributors. Social media completely changed the way we use the internet to communicate, and the social distancing and isolation of the pandemic further reshaped our ways of engagement. I’m not even going to get into the subject of engagement as currency and the monetization of everything, because those are a) immensely depressing to me and b) outside of the scope of this essay, but the idea that anyone can become a celebrity online has also radically altered the way we exist on the internet.

This essay is only meant to say: on hobby sites and in fandom spaces, try to divorce your self-worth and desire to create from the amount of engagement your content gets. Each and every one of us loves to see the numbers go up, but the numbers can’t be why you’re engaging in social spaces and sharing your work. It’s not easy, but if your only drive to create is to get attention, you will never be satisfied. You’ll get 50 followers and wish you had 100. You’ll get 1,000 followers and wish you had 10,000. You’ll always be chasing more, and you’ll never be able to enjoy the followers you do have and the engagement you do get -- you’ll always be stuck staring at your analytics page, resenting the silent 90% for not doing more to boost your content and validate your worth in the eyes of the immortal algorithm.

It’s not easy to decouple your desire to create from your desire for attention. But it’s ultimately necessary for the good of your mental wellbeing and the good of your art. Enjoy your hobbies and enjoy your posting. If neither are bringing you any joy, ask yourself why and be willing to accept that you might need to let go of something or else shift your mode of engagement. You might even be happier as a lurker, creating only for yourself.

[behindthewox]

NOTE: After a few posts focusing on constructive feedback and suggestions, we're back to criticism. It's still constructive criticism btw: I'm pointing out flaws in the system, explaining why it's a problem and I suggest a "solution". If you don't like it, don't read it.

Fainting is bad.

Why is the fainting system even a thing in the first place? The answer is probably to encourage daily activity, but what about users who can't log in frequently enough to avoid fainting? People who only have a few hours a week to spend on WoX.

I don't think the fainting system is very productive at this point. For some users it might do the trick and increase activity, but for others it's just discouraging. It's very discouraging for newer users to log in and find that they've been timed out and have to wait an hour before they can get back into the fun new website they just discovered. There's a pretty significant risk that they'll just huff, log out, play another game and never bother with WoX again.

Or they'll see a paywall and think "ew capitalism" and maybe go into fanfiction instead. You don't get any timeouts or paywalls on Ao3, or whatever sites the kids publish their smut on these days.

Why on earth would you put a discouraging timeout on a website that is dependent on users actively participating in the content that they get timed out from?!

What sort of message do you think you're sending to new users?

"Oh, welcome back! You haven't been active enough recently and the punishment for that is a one hour timeout, now think about what you've done." "We only want active members here, people who can log in daily and always remember to 'feed' themselves. You've failed the test, but I'll forgive you if you're still here in an hour." "You must prove your worthiness and wait one hour before you may proceed with your topic. If you cannot wait you are not worthy."

You're actively excluding everyone who, for whatever reason, cannot log in and keep their meters filled on a daily basis. And the many users who simply won't remember to do it (ADHD folks, for example).

You're actively preventing users from participating in anything except the one forum for fainted users and the chat.

You're actively excluding users who only have a limited amount of time to spend on the site - imagine finally having an hour to read and respond to a topic only to find that the entire hour will be spent waiting to unfaint (unless you have the IG money, or IRL money, to pay for unfainting) and by the time you can access the topic your one hour of spare time is up.

The fainting system also hinders your site staff from doing their jobs, especially student jobs. You can't expect people to schedule their lives around WoX and daily logins and meters, a lot of users simply can't do that. If someone with a student job has a busy week and only has an hour to log in and do their tasks, they won't be able to do their job if they've fainted. Despite technically having the time, they won't have time and will either have to take absence or risk being told off for not doing their tasks on time.

This is not how you keep your new users. If anything, this is how you lose them.

If the fainting system has to stay, it has to be reduced to 10 minutes or less. I have heard that it originally was 4 hours (what the fudge were they thinking?) and the current 1 hour doesn't seem so bad in comparison, but it's still bad compared to sites that don't have any timeouts at all. You know, like other fandom RP sites?

NOTE TO DAN: Oh, and don't even think about implementing an IRL payment to opt out of the fainting system. It will look like a moneygrab and pay-to-play scheme and you can't afford another fiasco like that. I already made several suggestions for additional site income in my last post, try some of those instead.

[liskantope]

Drat, I just realized that I let the 10-year anniversary of my first seeing Scott Alexander's writing pass unrecognized by me. It must have been, most likely, January 13th, 2014 that a distant Facebook friend (likely friended from certain philosophical-discourse-ish Facebook groups years earlier but I already couldn't remember; we've certainly never met) posted Scott's Slate Star Codex essay "A Response to Apophemi on Triggers".

Mind you, this isn't the most important 10-year anniversary for me this year, as I didn't follow up on learning who Scott Alexander was or familiarizing myself with Less Wrong or the rationalist community until my spring semester was over several months later, sometime in Math 2014, and I didn't (re)adopt the handle Liskantope and start participating in any way until a couple of months later still. When I first read "a response to Apophemi" ten years ago, I'm not sure I registered the name of the author, and I distinctly remember assuming that Slate Star Codex was some sort of community blog or forum, perhaps through glancing at the archives and seeing an implausible number of posts for only one author, and more likely because most of my exposure to "the blogosphere" had been through community blogs / online magazines / something of that sort (e.g. Feministing, Jezebel, Freethought Blogs). But reading a blog post like that was an absolute revelation to me, and I still have fairly vivid memories of some of my thought processes as I went through it section by section. I recall forcefully filing it away in my mind as "I need to follow up on the source of this to see if there's more, but not until this new semester is over and I have more time."

The revelation for me came from not only the (honestly rather earthshaking) event of this being the first article I ever read (as opposed to the occasional poorly-calibrated Facebook comment from that one friend) arguing against the general SJ mentality of the time (I was introduced to the term "Social Justice" through this essay and had internally been referring to it by several other terms up until that time; "woke" wouldn't show up until several years later), and eloquently at that, and not seeming to come from a conservative or otherwise obnoxious viewpoint. It was also that I had just never encountered anyone who wrote quite like this, with so much genuine politeness and compassion for the other party whose views they were arguing against and yet so rhetorically forceful against them at the same time, with a particular combination of intellectual meticulousness, and easy-to-read, semi-informal, lightness to the writing style, through which the general good character of the writer palpably comes through.

(Well, the brief paragraph about "hosting the black flag" is pretty sinister actually, and I prefer to think that Scott was being carelessly hyperbolic. I don't think I took any notice of it on the first or second reading during 2014, though. At the time I had no idea who the "Heartiste" was that Scott was referring to.)

It's always interesting to reread something from a full decade ago and think about how long that is in "internet years" and how ways of talking about certain things has changed. Scott used the ze/zir pronouns which were (unfortunately) still very popular at the time but, as I recall, not for much longer, and he switched to they/them within a few months of this. He seems to use transsexual interchangeably with transgender (as I remember I kind of did at the time as well) and even used cissexual, which I didn't recall was ever a word. And, of course, although he discussed racism as a name-calling word quite a bit, he basically used "SJ" and "feminism" quite interchangeably, reflecting a perception I shared throughout the first half of the 2010's of SJ being essentially equivalent to (the popular internet form of) feminism.

It's still kind of a mystery to me exactly who Apophemi was. Okay, looking back at their post that Scott was responding to, it seems they were also going by Cyrus Alexander, and were an Oberlin student at the time. But, given that once I got into rationalist community stuff a few months later, I basically never heard anything about them again, and their Wordpress blog's most recent update is from only half a year later, I have to wonder what it is about their blog or this particular essay demanded so much of Scott's attention. Apophemi's post isn't even particularly substantial or hard-hitting or well-written; why did it carry so much weight? Was it just that Apophemi was directly attacking the rationalist community and got a critical number of shares and reblogs? Was Apophemi just a temporarily famous figure in that corner of the online world, rather like the Tumblr-user Hotel Concierge was for a brief period around a year later before becoming almost forgotten? It is interesting that only two (arguably three, counting Ozy, mentioned multiple times not by name in Scott's piece) characters were involved in the first big controversial rat-community-related essay I was exposed to, and then one of them immediately and permanently disappeared from my view.

EDITED TO ADD: I also forgot to mention that Scott's "response to Apophemi" explicitly describes the cancellation attempt against him when he was editor of his college newspaper, and as far as I know, this is the earliest time Scott explicitly talked about this traumatic life event (except that he probably talked about it in his LiveJournal at the time it happened, but as he had locked the pre-college-graduation period of his LJ right before I came across it -- likely primarily because of this incident! -- I and most others have never seen it). He (understandably!) pretty much never mentioned it so explicitly again in the next decade, so my very first introduction to Scott included knowing this about him while I don't think that many among his bulk of later fans did. But it's an interesting (probable) coincidence that, as of several days ago, he first described the event again in his January 24th post on trauma/politics, ten years later to the month.

[tameila]

Was kindly tagged by @belphegor1982 to participate in this 20 questions for writers trend! thanks for the tag! 💕 tags for anyone who sees this and wants to take a whack at it. tag me in your responses, if you do!

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 10 works on ao3 with plenty of little one-shots posted here on tumblr and at least triple that many WIPs lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

My current ao3 word count is 165,375 words. TSAR is responsible for, like, 70% of that word count.

What fandoms do you write for?

On ao3, I've only posted for Critical Role, and I do not foresee that changing, but who knows! Before Critical Role, I never really saw myself as a writer that posted on public forums, and it's not as if I haven't entertained and dabbled in other fandoms.

Overall, including collaborative writing/roleplaying, I have written for Warriors (yes, the cat books), Bleach, Naruto, Hetalia (im sorry you have to learn this about me), Glee, Dragon Age, and Digimon.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Sun Always Rises (550 kudos), multichaptered modern AU Pikelan

give my regards to soul and romance (186 kudos), one-shot based in @jabletown's rejoice AU, Pikelan with Dadlan and Pike & Kaylie bonding

le petit encore (145 kudos), my mediocre TSAR 'verse smut fic. every time it gets another kudos i am pushed closer and closer to continuing my smut WIPs because i swear!! i promise!! i can write better smut!...but i am rather proud of this piece because it was my first serious foray into the world of smut and i gotta recognize my own hustle lol

As Easy as Riding a Bicycle (113 kudos), modern AU/college-aged Pikelan, Pike's bike gets stolen and she turns to a dating app to try and find it and finds love instead. super love this piece. everyone should read it and give it more kudos so it can be my third most kudo'd piece teehee

TLC is a Two-Way Street (104 kudos), TSAR 'verse, Pikelan, Pike looks after Scanlan while he is sick

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, yes, yes! Even as I free myself from the shackles of needing that validation and feeling discouraged if I don't reach some arbitrary number of engagement, I cannot deny that comments are inspiration and writing fuel. So, when I get a comment, I think it's the least that I can do to respond, even if it's just to say thanks.

I am definitely guilty of sitting on comments that make me particularly happy for weeks on end before actually remembering to respond tho

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the things we know and the things we wish they knew, which was my first CR fanfic and written in response to ep 85 iykyk

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, it's gotta be The Sun Always Rises

Do you get hate on fics?

No, thankfully not!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

As mentioned previously, I only really have one serious smut fic, though I have written a couple other bits and bobs....and maybe I have a couple WIPs that may or may not see the light of day. I'm not sure what kinds of smut there are...but I guess I would describe my approach to smut as 'I am a sex-repulsed asexual and idk what's really going on here but I'm here to express closeness and intimacy and love in this strange new world' lol

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

If we're talking crossovers in the sense that characters from two separate fictional stories meet and interact, I have written in roleplays back in middle school like that but never explored the concept in fanfic.

If crossovers also includes taking the concept of one fictional media and inserting the characters of another into it (e.g., Hogwarts AU or HDM AU) then I've definitely written and have plans for various fanfics like that. I don't think that I have any that I would consider "crazy", but I do think my brief notes and writings for a OTGW-inspired Nygmobblepot/Riddlebird fic were v inspired.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of and hopefully not! Very little gets posted in the Pikelan fandom that I don't see, so I like to think I'd be hard to pull a fast one on

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, but I would love to see The Sun Always Rises translated into other languages someday!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've entertained a couple co-written fics that have unfortunately never gotten off the ground much, but I'm not closed off to the idea. I see it as being quite similar to roleplaying!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oof. As a lifetime shipper, that's a tough question. I never truly let go of a ship, even after I've moved on from a fandom, but there are definitely some that are far more enduring in my heart than others.

Of course, if we're going off of writing alone than it's Pikelan. Writing TSAR got me through some of the hardest years of my life and, despite what's become of them and what I'm forced to endure by continuing to engage in the fandom space, they're special to me in a way that a lot of other ships can never be, no matter how much I love 'em.

Also, in the case of writing, FenHawke. selfishly, of course, Fenris with my Hawke. I love writing for them, and I consider the pieces that I've written for them to be amongst my best. They're the Dragon Age ship for me.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

.....[shamefully hangs head] A-Side and B-Side, the sequels to TSAR. I'm gonna keep writing them for as long as I am able but, if there ever comes a day that I post an update and get zero engagement, then I think I'll just have to move on. but! if even one person keeps coming along for the ride, then I'll stick to 'em. I just don't know if there's anyone who loves my writing enough to stick around for, like, another 5 years lol

The other big one is Vex's Delivery Service...which is exactly what it sounds like. A Kiki's Delivery Service inspired AU but it's about Vex. though truly, it's a thinly veiled excuse to write about domestic Pikelan is what it is. I have the whole thing planned out. I just can't ever seem to get it off the ground and, at this point, with the way I'm halfway out of the CR fandom, I don't think I ever will.

What are your writing strengths?

I have been extremely lucky to have been complimented on multiple facets of my writing over the years. However, I think what I pride in myself the most is my ability to let each scene breathe and take its time. It means that I take forever to write and nothing's ever short, but I don't think I would like writing quite as much if I wasn't allowed to let each moment have its breathing space.

What are your writing weaknesses?

It's a bit of an oddball pick maybe, but it's something that I feel like I have to own up to as a notorious modern AU writer:

People say that modern AUs are uninspired and boring, especially when you're taking characters out of a magical fictional world just to put them into our world and....the rumor's are true. I just don't get that into the lore of a fictional universe to ever feel comfortable writing in it. I do just find it easier to write everyone as humans in a modern-esque society. Now, I will stand by the fact that part of the fun of modern AUs is taking these magical characters and interpreting into a modern space (I often do the opposite with modern era characters into a fantasy world of my own design), but I just want to fully own up to the fact that...yes, I am too lazy to research the intricacies of canon in order to write a proper canon compliant/adjacent fic.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it has it's place.

For me, if it's a language that the POV character understands/that the reader should understand alongside the POV character, then there's no reason to write it in that language. Simply include a dialogue tag to explain what language the character was speaking in. and I say this mostly from a logistical/ease of reading standpoint. Having to scroll down to the bottom of a fic or switch to a separate tab with the translations interrupts the flow of reading.

If, however, the language is included, untranslated, to reflect the POV character's own lack of knowledge of the language then that makes more sense. because you, as the reader, are meant to keep reading at the same level of understanding as the POV character and there's no pressure to be rushing for a translation just to make sure you're not missing an important line of dialogue.

but of course, as with most things, it's writer's choice!

First fandom you wrote for?

Warriors, probably...maybe Hamtaro. I definitely read fanfic for it and had my little daydream musings, but I don't think I wrote anything down.

Favorite fic you've ever written?

Oooh, we talkin' fic fic? That's long gone, and it's up in the air which of those many early fandoms that it was for.

If we're talking that's readily available on ao3, then my first was the things we know and the things we wish they knew. though, I was writing and posting Dragon Age one-shots on tumblr before that one.

Coming back because, for some reason, I misread this question as what was the first fic I'd ever written lol. Obviously, the answer to favorite is The Sun Always Rises.

[margolovescoffeeandbooks]

what other places are you seeing?

our school trips generally don’t go outside the country, which is sad, so it’s so cool to me that your school does that!! i’ve heard that the italian seaside is really nice, i definitely want to visit one day. what’s poland’s like?

that makes sense, we make a very big deal out of it. some kids spend all year training because there are professionals who attend so if you get into the top three in your item you stand a chance to go to nationals. i used to participate in the swimming competitions, but i quit the team a while ago so i don’t really pay attention to these kinds of competitions anymore.

it’s so cool that the teachers could participate as well!! do you think you’re gonna participate in the next one, if you find out what it is?

yeah, we’re not allowed to wear any makeup. a girl got dress coded for wearing chapstick once. and if your uniform isn’t 100% correct you can get sent home. i’m surprised that i haven’t gotten in trouble for my hair because it’s wild on a good day, and the wind has really been messing it up, but i can’t exactly do anything about it so they just let me be ig, because we’re not allowed to wear any kind of head band or hair clips.

they are!! we also don’t do a lot of dances because the kids always get in trouble (the kids in my school aren’t very well behaved) but the valentine’s dance is one of the two or three we have each year.

(sorry, this is very long)

we're visiting venice, florence, pisa, rome, vatican, bibione (that's the seaside town i've mentioned) and assisi. i'm not going to list all the places we're going to see there, because that would probably take too much time and space, but the ones i'm particularly excited about are:

piazza del duomo in florence

palazzo vecchio

piazza del duomo in pisa

colosseum

forum romanum

piazza venecia

pantheon

you don't have trips abroad? this is so sad. as far as i know, most of schools in poland do this kind of trips. i can't wait to hear what destination we're going next year. i'm hoping it'll be france.

polish seaside is uh... a bizzare place. the towns and their architecture are actually quite nice from what i remember. there are also a lot of green spaces there, plenty of trees. but there are loads of tourists as well. most of them not well-behaved. some of my weirdest memories are the ones including people on the polish beach. of course, there are the unforgetable smell of sea water and the sounds of waves, but apart from that, there are also the stench of oil and the noise made by the crowds. and a lot of streets filled with shops selling the most hideous souvenirs. believe me, the souvenirs there are terrible. so as you can tell, the polish seaside is not the most pleasant place in the world. but there's also some charm to that unpleasantness. to be honest, now when i'm recalling all of that, even the bad details make me smile.

wow! that really does sound like a big deal. the competitions in my town are more casual, at least i think so. i've never participated in any of them so i don't know a lot about their rules.

ikr, it's great that they can take part as well. it was a lot of fun watching my history teacher play. he seemed so excited and determined to win. nope, i have no plans to participate. i'm not a very sporty person. if i do some physical activity, it's in the privacy of my room or just for my own pleasure without the element of competition.

your school sounds very strict! my school pays no attention to our looks. i mean i've heard a few teachers complaining, but they can't really do anything about it, there are no actual rules written down when it comes to what we should wear or not. and honestly, i prefer it this way. i've been working a lot on my style and it's an important part of who i am. i'm a bit shy person. i'm not good at expressing myself through talking so i do it through clothes.

kids at my school aren't well-behaved either. there's always someone vaping in the toilet and i've heard we even have our own drug dealer?? apparently, he sells behind the school gym.

(don't worry! it's lovely talking to you!)

[recurringwriter]

hello friend! i am wondering if you know of any resources for writing critique? like especially for fics?

not me suddenly having a ton of self-doubt from rejection

i mean i love nice comments on my fics of course but sometimes (polite) critique is nice, you know? anyway i'm asking you because you seem to be In The Know about this sort of thing.

ahhh first of all, remember that we all have doubt about our writing and that's okay, but the important thing is to keep being brave and practising anyway because that's how you find your style, what tropes and characters speak to you, and just polish and master the craft. or find enjoyment, because at the end of the day that's what really matters--learning how to find happiness in the process of creation.

i will preface by saying that until recently i have been a very solitary writer and even though i've been more social in the last few years, i still don't have a beta, myself.

next: all these resources i link will be from the nanowrimo forum--visit, explore it, see if there's tips you like or a community you'd be interested in joining, and if you want, sign up. you don't have to do nanowrimo at all. you can choose to only participate in 'camp' events in july and april where you set a personal goal (not necessarily the 50k words in a month that we do in november), or set a goal at any other time in the year, or don't. there's loads of communities and resources and helpful, friendly writers. i haven't participated in discussions as much as i could, but i have found a lot of helpful tips or ideas that helped me figure out things in my own writing or just ah, my identity in general. i can't recommend it enough. i think nanowrimo saved me--but that's neither here nor there. for now here are some links that you might be interested in exploring:

The Fanfiction Category - where you will find other people writing fanfic, talking about fic, etc

The Three Houses Thread - if you wanted to snoop on people who wrote fantasy chess last november 👀

GenFic Thread - a bunch of genfic writers converging with their experiences and ideas

Groups Category - people creating writing groups on the nano website. maybe there would be some examples of people reaching out/forming communities that would be helpful, and if you're intending to sign up then you might want to visit this category once you have!

Novel Aftercare Category - lots of threads about editing, critiquing, etc.

Thread on advice for getting critique

i tried to find stuff specifically about beta's and liked this quote from this thread:

A good beta will read the book and give feedback from the typical reader’s perspective.It started out slow. The ending wasn’t satisfying. This part was confusing. The will-they-won’t-they thing dragged on and on. I don’t think John would have done that. Who’s Mary, and why did she suddenly pop up in the story? Wasn’t Brian out of town when Matt saw him mowing the lawn? Sarah’s car was green in the last chapter. Now it’s purple. It’s they’re. Not their.The opposites are also true, of course. Things that worked well should also be mentioned.None of this means that you write to the beta’s feedback. They can fall prey to the same things that plague fandoms. They don’t like your ships, they don’t like your face-heel turns, so-n-so shouldn’t have died. That sort of thing is up to you, not up to them. The betas’ only arguments there are whether those plot elements are plausible, not whether they preferred them.

that's all i'm going to go searching for at this time, unless anyone had specific things they wanted help hunting down.

my Personal Suggestion for getting critique:

Ask. If there's a reader who's given comments you like, a mutual, a friend in a discord server, ask if they'd be willing to give you feedback.

Emphasize that you're looking for Feedback. people hear the word critique and bust out the red pens and the next thing you know your story looks like a crime scene. Communicate what you want from your reader. are you hoping for grammar advice? style? character consistency? want to know if the plot is moving at a good pace and don't care about the rest? make sure that your reader knows what to look for.

Remember that you still might not know what you need in a critique. be brave and patient and accept that some of the feedback you get might hurt. discuss it with your reader and work together. maybe you don't mesh--that's fine! everyone has a different style of writing, and that means that we offer feedback in different ways too.

i'm a little scattered and probably said something roundabout and unnecessary but the main thing is: Communication is Key when asking for feedback. Figure out what works together if both of you are willing to work together on it.

start small with a single short story or chapter first, to see what you can expect from your reader. be patient about schedules and workload, editing takes energy just like writing. it's scary waiting for a reply and that's something that takes time to get used to.

i think..that's all i've got for now.

but yeah. good luck, and you've got this. rejection sucks but it's rarely a reflection on your skill, and more of an indication of the number of 'competitors', the current trends, or even what personally spoke to the individual who read your submission. art is subjective. just keep plugging away, learning, teaching yourself, and you'll do just fine.

[rainplaysswtor]

SWTOR: New player help: Contending with bugs

It's not a bug, it's a feature! It's working as intended! As you play SWTOR, you will notice that...things don't always go as expected. Here are some helpful tips for new players (and more long term players too) to try to help handle some of the most common bugs you will find in the game. 

First thing: report the bugs you encounter. If nobody knows something's going wrong, it can't be fixed. 

Everyone including free to play players can now use the in-game bug reporting system. How? 

1. Go into your chat box (usually at the upper left of your screen and type /bug)

2. This should open a window that will allow you to type a short description of the bug you are seeing. Describe the bug. Make sure you mention 1) exactly what you were doing and 2) what was not working. For example: 

"During the introduction scene for the flashpoint "This is Way Too Long," the character "I Don't Like You" does not have a head." 

3. Press ' submit.' 

Keep in mind that you will not get a response or any direct help from a bug report. This is to let the developers know what is not working in the game, so they can hopefully fix it. 

2. Wait a little while after there's a new patch or game update

When there's a new game update or patch (you will know because you have new files that will automatically download when you launch the game), don't jump right into the new content with your favorite best character. Wait. It's hard, I know, but wait. The general trend over the past few years has been that new patches and updates always have bugs, and sometimes they're doozies. 

It helps to have a "me first" character or two - perhaps a clone of your main - to wade into new content on the first day or week if you really want to see it. That way you can see the new content without being completely angry that it's messed something up for your characters or isn't running quite right. 

3. Keep an eye on the Bug Reports section of SWTOR.com and the SWTOR Twitter account. 

Even if you are not a subscriber you can still read the Bug Reports forum (I would not recommend the rest of the forums, though). There's usually a running list of known bugs for each patch listed at the top of the page. Also keep an eye on the SWTOR Twitter account. You can read it without being a registered Twitter user, and it will let you know when the game is going down for maintenance or an update. 

4. If you are facing a bug that is making it impossible to complete a quest you need for story progression, you can reach out to SWTOR customer service for assistance. If you are a subscriber, press the little gears icon at the top of your screen, choose "customer service" and then "request help." If you are not subscriber, you can reach support at support@swtor.com. 

SPECIFIC STRATEGIES FOR COMMON BUGS

1. Help! My abilities bar got unlocked and I cannot get it to lock again!

When this happens, all your abilities will 'float' or move from their placements, which understandably makes it hard to fight. How to get around this: 

1. When you are NOT IN COMBAT, press CTRL+U. All of your abilities bars/maps/etc. will vanish. Don't panic. This is the way. 

2. Press CTRL+U again. Everything should come back. It may take a moment. Wait. 

2. Oh no! My character's stuck in a rock!

Or on a cliff, or under a box, or up a tree. We've all been there. Go to your chat box (upper left, usually).

1. Write /stuck in the chat. This will either move your character to a place where they aren't stuck, or it will kill them and put them back at the nearest medical base. 

2. What's that? Stuck isn't working, or you just used it and it needs to cool down? You can try using Quick Travel to travel to a nearby medical base. 

3. Still nothing? Try porting to a stronghold, your ship or the Fleet. 

4. Try logging out and logging back in. 

3. What? I can't click the blue thing. 

This bug has shown up all over the place, where an objective will be lit blue, but unclickable. I've found a few places where nothing I do makes this work. 

1. Try changing instances. 

2. Try logging out and back in. 

4. This is a great cut scene...why is it freezing?!

Several years ago this bug was so severe in the Sith Warrior and Imperial Agent stories that only customer service could resolve it. It seems better now, but here are some ideas. 

1. ESC out of the scene. Now try to start the scene again by clicking on the NPC /objective/whatever is the scene starter. 

2. Can you guess? Log out and back in. 

3. Close the game and try re-launching. 

4. Try lowering your graphics settings in the game. Don't know why this works, but it did sometimes. 

5. My character is frozen in a weird pose. 

Just laugh at it, take a screenshot and share it with your friends so they can laugh. Typically this will not affect actual combat and will go away on its own eventually. 

6. I want to romance Lana Beniko, Koth Vortena or Theron Shan in KOTFE...but I've heard things about the romance vanishing. 

There are two general ways the romances in KOTFE get borked:

1. A patch happens before the romance is locked in (chapter 9) and all the player's flirts from chapters 3-8 are reset. The game thus forgets you were trying to romance Lana and you don't get the romance dialogue option in chapter 9. I've also heard of Koth and Theron romances vanishing, but not as often. The solution is to NOT play through chapters 3-9 of KOTFE when there's a patch happening. My general tactic is to play those chapters straight through, and not stop until I get to chapter 10, to make sure the romance is locked and won't be interrupted by a patch.

2. The player misunderstands the really poorly framed dialogue wheel in chapter 9. There's a moment, pictured below, where the camera faces Theron Shan, and there are choices that say "I need to see one of you" and "I need to see one of you" [flirt]. IT IS NOT JUST REFERRING TO THERON. If you are flirting with Lana or Koth and want to lock in their romance, DO NOT CLICK ON THE FIRST CHOICE (which is helpfully lit up here for your reference). YOU NEED TO CHOOSE THE [FLIRT] HERE, as well as the [flirt] in the conversation when you are alone with your companion of choice.  

When your actions or conversation choice will start or end a romance, from KOTFE onward, you will receive a pop up warning that looks something like this. 

Caption: This choice will begin a romance with Lana Beniko. Are you sure you wish to proceed? CONTINUE - CANCEL Once you have this scene, MAKE SURE you finish chapter 9 entirely so your choices don't get wiped out in a future patch!

7. My companion is stuck in place and won't move. 

There you go, charging into the fray...there's your companion, lingering awkwardly at the threshold and not participating. Oops. You can usually wake them up by sending them away and then bringing them back. Easy ways to do this include: 

1) Send them to sell junk (press N. Go to your companion who is with you. Press the little icon near their name to get them to sell the junk. Depending on the legacy perks you have purchased they will be gone for between 5 and 30 seconds)

2) Summon another companion, any of them, and then summon back the one you want. 

3) It didn't work? Sometimes companions do seem to go on strike and you will probably just want to summon another to continue playing. This is a good reason to remember to have more than one companion at high influence, if you can, so you can switch as needed. 

8. My companion keeps falling over. 

Sternly tell your companion it's not time for a nap. Kidding. They really don't care. Any time is nap time. The steps in #7 should work to wake them up again. 

9. I'm trying to loot something and it's telling me "out of range." 

First, are you sure it's your loot and not some other player's? If it's yours, you can sometimes pick it up by walking away and then returning. Other times, look for someone else nearby to loot. I've on occasion found things unlootable, which is frustrating. 

[nayialovecat]

SATIM's B-day - Day 4 - Fandom

Today theme: Events and fandom.

Bonus: Part of the Ink Demonth: Entertainment.

I've never been a particularly social person. Even though I seem to be extroverted and friendly on the web, in reality I am very shy and cannot talk to people. Therefore, even when I liked a series very much, even when I created comics or short stories about it, I could never stand out in the fandom. Currently also, judging by the attendance and the staggering amount of comments under my posts and SATIM's birthday bonuses, ha ha.

Anyway… I've been part of a lot of fandoms. One of the first was Hellsing - in which I sat for quite a long time, but only on a forum founded by a friend. Some of my works from that period made it to dA - but a relatively small number of them considering how many I did.

Fandom Xiaolin Showdown (I don't even know if there was anything like that) passed me by somehow - but traces of my fascination with this show are clearly visible on dA. I even included part of one of the several comic books I made during this period.

Then Pokemon (actually I am still there, although I take breaks from them) - it was better here, 'cause I was one of the moderators on the Pokemon Polska forum - but I was also not very involved, I was rather sticking to the departments in which I was a moderator - i.e. Fanwork and PBF.

I was and I am in the MLP fandom - but here I didn't come out of the shadow and although I created many things of this fandom, very few saw the light of day (mainly my YouTube songs dubbed, I didn't include almost any of my drawings, novels even more so).

I'm just shy, people scare me, and the louder the fandom - the more scary people in it. But yet... but yet in the case of BATIM, it was the first time that I decided to come from my shadow. For the first time, I didn't just stand aside watching others play, but decided to participate. I'm talking now about The Ink Demonth event (today’s bonus come from last year's edition), in which I took part twice, and last year's Secret Satan (this year, however, due to the flood of other activities, I think I will have to give up, unfortunately :'c).

In addition, I also try to celebrate other things - various holidays, now SATIM's birthday, I also try to take part in making people aware of the dangers of Bipolar Disorder, Depression and other related diseases. It is possible that if I was more popular, or at least had more power, I would reach more people with these actions - but I am still proud when people write to me saying that my posts have helped them understand themselves / loved ones / friends even a bit. Thank you for informing me that you have read that it has helped you… It is really important to me.

Remember this entry on the Ink Demonth 2020? This strip was originally intended to be longer and Tom and Allison were to be featured in it. But Titatotrix (my first proofrider) said "too much, you break the punch line", so I didn't even lineart those frames. Today I am giving them in this form - the form of a sketch. I still like the final joke, but in fact - the whole thing would lose its tone a lot. As you can see, I've done some more SATIM-Frozen crossover songs here :D

Today's question and task are loosely related to events and fandom - 'cause there is a group of fans of movie about Bendy in SATIM, right? Of course, I'm talking about the famous Movie Club, which I personally love, although at the moment it had only a few appearances in the comic.

QUESTION: How often do the members of the Movie Club meet?

TASK: Introduce what movie they could have watched had they not been restricted by the Studio, remembering that: a) Sarah likes there are at least two female characters in the background or at least one in the foreground, b) Simon loves well-written villains, c) Jerry hates robots and androids, d) Mary is not a fan of romance, unless it's a triangle, e) Wallace isn't picky, but the movie must have a happy ending.

[mamichigo]

Title: at the bottom (where the eyes can't see)

Pairing: Kokichi/Shuichi

Rating: G

Word count: 2,1k

Tags: Hope's Peak AU, Post Hope's Peak, Bittersweet, Fluff and Angst, Pre-Relationship, Aged-up characters

Summary: "Because, one year ago, Kokichi disappeared without a trace before he could even attend the graduation ceremony."

Shuichi meets Kokichi again.

Notes: Gift for participant #32 in the @kokichigiftexchange

*

"Ouma-kun?"

It's too early in the morning to encounter anyone; the only sound at the beach is the quiet murmur of the waves. A lone person stands where the waves come to lap at their bare feet, and the person shivers in what he can only presume is freezing water. Shuichi is compelled to attribute it to a Christmas phantom, a hallucination born out of wishful thinking.

But he recognizes that messy head of hair, the diminutive stature. Kokichi Ouma looks like he hasn't changed at all, just like he stepped out of one of Shuichi's restless dreams.

His feet crunch on the sand, and it's that rather than the whispered name that alerts Kokichi to his presence. He turns with eyes narrowed, but suspicion melts into recognition when he spots Shuichi. To his surprise, that look morphs into horror almost immediately. Kokichi takes a step back and looks around.

"You don't need to run away," Shuichi hurries to reassure him. "If you don't want to talk, that's… That's okay."

It isn't. Just insinuating it is makes him nauseous. Kokichi smiles in a cynic way that tells him he's still just as good at spotting lies. But, right now, as long as he can make Kokichi stay, Shuichi will tell as many white lies as necessary.

Because, one year ago, Kokichi disappeared without a trace before he could even attend the graduation ceremony.

"It's been awhile," Shuichi whispered.

Kokichi's shoulders hunch. Shuichi is sure that if he could, Kokichi would be putting up a physical barrier between the two of them. In the absence of that, he keeps his body language closed off, not even bothering to fully face Shuichi.

"It would've been much longer if I had my way," Kokichi snaps back. There's none of the joking, childish tone that used to always be in his voice.

"Your plan was to never see any of us again, wasn't it?" Shuichi muses to himself. He watches Kokichi's tense form. "Then, why are you here?"

Kokichi scoffs. "It's a big city, as if I ever planned to just accidentally bump into you. Or anyone, for that matter."

"No, but why would you still be in the city at all? It's not what you'd do, if you wanted to disappear."

Kokichi raises his eyebrows at him in challenge. Shuichi tries to tell himself he isn't trembling as well.

"I'd know. I looked for you."

Kokichi's eyes widen, and just for a moment, there's a crack in his mask. He bites at his bottom lip and a pained twitch appears at the corners of his eyes. Kokichi turns his head down and away, staring at something. Shuichi only now realizes Kokichi is clutching something in his hands.

"I wouldn't expect any less from the Ultimate Detective! Ah, you must be an active detective now, so I'm sure you have all kinds of resources at your disposal now. It wouldn't be hard to look for little ol' me, right?" Kokichi swirls to look at him. The smile on his face looks like it hurts his cheeks. "That's what it means to be an Ultimate, right?"

Shuichi shifts his weight, and realizes he has nothing to say to that. Kokichi was right. It was frighteningly easy to look into Kokichi's whereabouts, and even more terrifying to realize even then he couldn't find his missing ex-classmate.

Everywhere he goes, he sees his other classmates, even the ones he is no longer in contact with. On TV, billboards, online forums, on the news. Every single one of them, except Kokichi.

"What have you been up to all this time?" Shuichi asks, like he has done so many times to the silent copy of Kokichi that appears to him whenever he closes his eyes.

"This," Kokichi deadpans. "But that's not really the question you want to ask, is it, Saihara-chan?"

Shuichi looks to Kokichi's shoes, lying on the sand. To his clenched toes, dipped in water. To his fingers, almost purple at the tips where they clutch some mysterious box. Finally, he looks into Kokichi's eyes, and finds nothing but guarded apathy. Shuichi has gotten no better at reading Kokichi than he used to be when they were both attending Hope's Peak.

"What question do you think I want to ask?"

"Oh, please." Kokichi rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue. "I'm not in the mood for the charades."

"That used to be all you were in the mood for."

"But we're not at Hope's Peak anymore, are we?"

Shuichi opens and closes his mouth a few times, but can't settle on an answer. Shuichi swallows.

"But you're still you."

"Don't act like you know me."

"Ouma-kun…"

Shuichi tries to touch his arm, if only for the comfort of knowing this Kokichi is not an illusion, but Kokichi knocks his hand away before he can get close enough to do it. Kokichi pins him with an angry look.

"Is it just me, or have you gotten bolder, Saihara-chan? Assertive, even!" Every word drips with sarcasm. "My sincere congratulations!"

Shuichi presses his lips into a straight line. He looks away for a moment, and is reminded of how cold it truly is when a gust of wind makes goosebumps raise on his flesh. Shuichi watches Kokichi's still trembling figure.

"What are you doing here, Ouma-kun?" Shuichi asks again, dread at the back of his throat.

Kokichi hums in thought. He kicks at the water half-heartedly and winces when droplets of it fall on himself. He shakes the box in his hand, and it rattles.

"To dispose of useless things," Kokichi says.

"On a Christmas morning, in the middle of Winter?"

"What can I say, it's a little symbolic this way."

"What's inside the box?"

They look at each other for a moment that's a few eternities too long. Slowly, slowly, a smile tugs at Kokichi's lips. It's small and secretive; it's the same smile Kokichi had given him the last time they talked, framed by pouring rain and dark clouds. Shuichi's breath catches in his throat.

"Nothing worth remembering."

Perhaps it's the shock of the sudden memory that makes him stand there and watch as Kokichi raises his hands above his head and throws the box into the ocean. Kokichi turns like he means to leave, and the box falls into the water with a wet plop. Shuichi looks from one to the other, and chases after the sinking box.

He manages to see Kokichi whip his head back to look at him, but he doesn't have the time to think about that.

"Saihara-chan!" Kokichi yells when his body hits the water.

Shuichi takes a deep breath and dives. The freezing cold shocks him into almost inhaling the water, but Shuichi slaps a hand to his mouth and swallows the urge to gasp for breath. The seawater stings at his open eyes, but he has enough visibility to see the dark polish of the wooden box. Shuichi grabs for it and resurfaces with a gasp.

He doesn't get out of the water immediately, floating there and breathing with his eyes closed. His fingers are slippery, but he cradles the box to his chest and doesn't let go.

"Saihara-chan!" Kokichi yells again. 

Shuichi raises his head slowly. Numbly, he waves to Kokichi. It takes some effort to drag himself out the water with his clothes weighing him down, but Shuichi manages to get back to shore. 

Shuichi never imagined he'd spend his morning diving into the ocean, with a fuming Kokichi glaring at him. He almost laughs. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kokichi hisses. He gets into Shuichi's personal space, raised to the tip of his toes to grab Shuichi by the lapels of his coat. The seawater in his hair drips onto Kokichi's cheeks. "I know you can be stupid, but this is a new low!"

Shuichi nods numbly. "A-At least…" His teeth chatter. "At least I got it. The box."

Kokichi stares incredulously at the wooden box. Shuichi can nearly see it when the thread that holds him together snaps.

"You think I care?! I was here to throw that away, you idiot! This was supposed to be the last of— Of all this!" Kokichi shook him roughly.

"Wait, Ouma-kun, that hurts—"

"That stupid school, this city, this useless thing they called a talent. I'm getting rid of all of it."

Kokichi continues his barrage, and Shuichi has to step back when Kokichi gets too close. In the frenzy, they end up tangled in each other's feet, and they both fall painfully. Shuichi winces, but Kokichi isn't deterred. If anything, he looks all the more furious.

"You can't stop me from doing it, Saihara-chan," Kokichi says in a fervent whisper.

"You were trying to say goodbye," Shuichi realizes.

For a tense moment, neither of them speak. Kokichi is still furious above him, expression twisted. Shuichi has a feeling that, if he was capable of doing it sincerely, Kokichi would be crying. Shuichi wants to hug him.

He chuckles quietly.

"What are you laughing about?"

"That's the first time you've ever been this sincere with me," Shuichi says with a smile he knows is too soft.

Kokichi sighs exasperatedly and hangs his head. He ends up with his forehead to Shuichi's collarbone. He's still clutching Shuichi's coat tightly.

"I hate you," Kokichi says.

"I missed you," Shuichi answers.

He dares lay a hand on Kokichi's head, and though he flinches, he doesn't say anything about it. Shuichi runs his fingers from his scalp to the tip of his hair. He gently plays with the tips like he so starkly remembers Kokichi doing whenever he was focused on whatever thoughts were on his mind. Shuichi can see it, in his mind's eyes: Kokichi sitting on the table, legs crossed, grinning as he lies through his teeth about one thing or another.

He doesn't have the time to dwell on the memory, as Kokichi grows antsy in the prolonged contact. He pushes himself away and sits on the sand next to Shuichi. He's still within arm's reach, Shuichi notes as he sits up as well.

Kokichi forces him to remove his outer layer and offers his own coat in exchange.

"Thank you."

"Whatever."

Kokichi rests his cheek on his knee and doesn't bother looking at Shuichi again. Shuichi frowns, just a little bit, but concedes that at least Kokichi has yet to leave.

"Why did you disappear?" Shuichi asks.

"There it is, the million dollar question," Kokichi deadpans with a huff. He draws on the sand with his finger, and Shuichi can see he's pouting too. "Does it really matter?"

"I spent the last year searching for any clues of what might have happened to you." Shuichi allows for just a hint of steel to appear in his voice. "It matters."

Kokichi pauses for a moment. Then, he's right back to doodling. Shuichi can identify what looks like the hat he used to wear.

"There's only so much time you can spend on a farce. Every game has an ending. That's part of the fun too. You could say I got bored."

Shuichi observes him. He wonders if taking Kokichi's coat was a good idea, as he's shaking now more than ever. What he can see of his face is pale, with the exception of the underside of his eyes. He looks shockingly smaller. Shuichi realizes it's because his personality is so muted, a stark difference to how he presented himself so loudly before, impossible to ignore.

"Rather than bored, you just sound tired," Shuichi gently says.

"Thanks, Mr. Detective."

There is more to it than Kokichi is saying, but this is already more personal information than Kokichi would ever reveal about himself. They have time, enough for Shuichi to prod at his motivation, to peel the layers of what happened to Kokichi. He can only hope that's true.

"What are you going to do now?" 

"Same thing I've been doing. Which is to say, nothing." Kokichi seems to remember something. He shifts a little to point at the box Shuichi is holding. "Ah, you can keep that. You went through the trouble of throwing yourself into the ocean for it, so you win."

"I didn't know we were playing," Shuichi jokes.

"Aren't we always."

Carefully, Shuichi undoes the clasp that holds the lid closed. Inside the box, they are a number of little trinkets that he doesn't recognize, and a few he does. He sees a star pin he had won for Kokichi in a festival.

At the bottom of it all, there are a couple of pictures. The one at the top had his own face smiling up at him, with a laughing Kokichi clinging to him by the neck, half raised off the floor.

Shuichi turns a fond smile at Kokichi, but he's still resolutely avoiding eye contact. Shuichi keeps that secret to himself, and reaches for his friend's hand instead. Just a touch of his pinky to Kokichi's. Kokichi twitches, but his hand stays right where it is. 

"I'm glad I didn't let you throw it away."

[tcookies]

Discrimination in the Halo community

I've been in the Halo fandom for as long as I can remember. Halo 1 was the first game I ever played, thanks to my older brother introducing me to it when I was five and letting me be the Player 2 to his Player 1. I'm in my 20s now and still marathon those campaign missions with my brother. Yes, we marathon all 5 games at least once a year. It's a tradition now.

I've become such a devoted fan that, over the past decade, I've spent time scouring the wiki and reading the novels because I'm so obsessed with the universe and other characters besides Chief, Cortana, Halsey, etc.

I've never actually actively participated in the Halo community and made myself known among other Halo fans. I'm not a wikia contributor, I don't engage in online forums or threads, or anything of that sort. I just play the games, buy the merch, read the books and comics.. that sort of thing.

And yet, when I do make a comment on any Halo video, whether it be a video about some guy playing the Halo theme at his wedding or a group of boys singing it in a bathroom, I suddenly get attacked.

The Halo fandom is a male-dominant fandom which doesn't really matter except the attitude of the fans can be so exclusive and discriminatory.

I get attacked for saying things like "I want my future husband to play the theme song at our wedding" or for saying "sometimes I play this mission just for this awesome moment" or even just saying "I'd love to sing this with you guys". I get attacked.

I get called a "thot". I get called "ugly" or "liar". Someone, out of the blue, once called me the N-word (I'm not even Black; I'm Asian) and said that I was a girl pretending to be a gamer (apparently people still believe girls don't play games). I am automatically labeled an SJW just because my profile picture depicts me sporting a pixie cut (and God forbid a girl has short hair). Every Halo fan I have ever met has insulted, threatened, and cussed me out.

All because I am a lady who likes to play Halo.

Like I said, I don't actively engage or participate in the Halo community very often. When I do, however, I get attacked everywhere for it. No matter what comment I make. My comment doesn't even seem to matter. Because what the person is looking at is NOT my comment but my profile picture and they see a smiling girl with a pixie cut.

Is the Halo fandom really this toxic? Is the so called "brotherhood" exclusively just a brotherhood of sexist and/or racist jerks? This fandom is about 2 decades old by now. So I assume there are some older fans with children even. Yet, every Halo fan I encounter seems to have the mentality of a 5-year old boy with no manners and has a potty mouth. It's so disappointing to be in a fandom you really love but.. turns out to be discriminatory.

I thought only 5-year boys (and only some) did that "No girls allowed" rule but based on years of interacting and engaging the Halo community it seems the Halo fans have enacted that childhood rule as well.

I know, I know. But not every guy is like that. Right? Right... I sincerely hope not every male Halo fan is racist/sexist indeed. But so far, no male fan has ever proved me wrong. No male Halo fan has ever stood up for me despite seeing a fellow fan being insulted for no reason other than that fan is a girl. I keep waiting for a fellow Halo fan to prove me wrong; to prove to me that the Halo community isn't the racist/sexist trash everyone else has been proving me it is.

Altogether, I am not just calling out the Halo community for their racist and sexist attitudes that have gone unchecked amongst themselves. This is to the gaming community as a whole.

I've had male gamers threaten me online with rape even. Only ONCE (maybe twice) has another male gamer actually stood up for me. It was a simple "dude leave her alone" and that was pretty much it but hey at least that 1 guy tried to do something while nobody else bothered.

If you're a guy, perhaps you don't have a sister. Perhaps you had a horrible mother. Perhaps you do not have a daughter. Or perhaps you've had terrible experience with women. Whatever is the case, that doesn't justify a sexist attitude/behavior. And vice versa.

If you are a male Halo fan, or even just a male gamer, I'd like to hear your thoughts about this.

Even now, I wonder if I'll only be responded with even more insults or threats.

[travelbloggerofficial-blog]

Media Trip Advice - Top 10 Do's and Don'ts

This can be a checklist of creative journey blogs that I learn and observe. They're written by unbiased travel writers, the list embrace those that I contemplate as heavy-weights in journey running a blog. These bloggers are associated with giant journey sites/blogs however their focus is on dwelling a unique life (attending to see the world around them) and be an insightful writers. All of them are enjoyable and inspirational to read.

Weblog: Everything-In all places

Author: Gary Arndt

Gary has been on the highway since 2007 as an expert traveller. On the blog you may find interviews with leading figures within the business like Laura Bly from BlyOnTheFly.com. The posts are factual but personal as they embrace Gary's insights and causes for visiting each of the locations. Every part-All over the place is the highest travel blogger on Twitter in accordance with its Klout rating.

Most recent submit: This Week In Travel - Episode 152

Weblog: Nomadic Matt

Writer: Matt Kepness

Matt gives sensible and tactical recommendation about learn how to journey higher, cheaper and longer. The weblog provides down-to-earth particulars about the most effective methods to explore the world. The weblog is more of a set of helpful tips fairly than a chronicle of Matt's adventures although there is a journey information part with data gathered from Matt's travels since 2004. The location consists of videos and a list of sources.

Most up-to-date put up: How To Journey Anywhere For Free

Weblog: Go-See-Write

Author: Michael Hodson

Travelling since 2008 he circumvented the globe without getting on a plane. The blog contains Michael's adventures and experiences as he goes via each of the journey destinations. Dubai travel is included in the lengthy listing of locations you can read about and there is a section of travel destination ideas. The blog is a personal journey of a solo adventurer exploring the world.

Most recent submit: Visiting One of the World's Highest Lakes

Blog: Fox Nomad

Writer: Anil Polat

Chosen by the Huffington Put up as one of many prime journey writers to look at Anil is a full time traveller but a gadget geek as properly, so the focus of the blog is usually on the technical facet of travel. He typically visits countries that are off-the-crushed-track and provides practical recommendation about the right way to cope in locations like Yemen and Iraq. On the blog you may find destination ideas, tech posts, assets and insights into inexperienced travel and culture.

Most recent publish: The Landmarks To Look Out For When Flying Into Istanbul

Blog: Legal Nomads

Writer: Jodi - A former Lawyer from Montreal

She has been travelling and eating her means all over the world since 2008 and the weblog focuses on food, tradition and her adventures. One of many plus points about this journey author's blog is that it is advert-free (aside from Amazon hyperlinks) which makes it a really clear-cut blog to have a look at. This can be a good weblog to watch for those who're into food related travel, the blog is on the MSN listing of top travel blogs.

Most recent publish: Thrillable Hours: Doug Barber, Co-Founding father of Minaa

Blog: Almost Fearless

Writer: Christine Gilbert

One of many high ranking journey & leisure blogs written by a mother touring with her household since 2008, this blog has beautiful pictures and the mix of family, self and journey. The household travel focus will be seen by the weblog sections - life, kitchen, pictures and kids. You will find some useful destination suggestions however more normal life insights.

Most recent put up: How I Spent 10 Years To Get The place I Began

Weblog: Camels and Goodies

Author: Kristin Luna

One of the prime travel writer blogs according to Elliott.org and other "top" lists due to the well written textual content. The writer is knowledgeable journalist, has interviewed the celebs and in addition is a travel addict. She covers an extended list of journey locations recording her adventures with the occasional journey destination tip thrown in. The weblog boasts many photos of the journey author in the numerous travel destinations.

Most up-to-date post: Picture Friday: Columbus, Ohio

Weblog: Johnny Vagabond

Author: Wes

Another of the Huffington Post picks for finest travel author blogs, the attraction of this blog is within the effectively written descriptions of the author's adventures. Wes is touring around the globe on a decent budget and taking sensible footage as he goes. The writing is participating, intelligent and entertaining in addition to supplying you with loads of info in regards to the travel locations.

Most up-to-date post: A Love Letter from the Philippines

Weblog: 48 Hour Adventure

Writer: Justin Morris

A very helpful and highly sensible weblog the place each submit is devoted to a forty eight hour plan of what to see and do in various journey locations. What makes this journey & leisure blog standout is its no-nonsense usable quality. You will find a "48 hours in Dubai" publish in case you're occupied with Dubai journey, itemizing sites, the best way to get around, orientation and loads of giant pictures.

Most up-to-date post: 48 Hours in Reykjavik

Blog: International Grasshopper

Writer: A group of travel writers Gary and Becky

Unlike lots of the blogs on this record it is not a chronicle of any one individual's travels but relatively a group of inspirational travel stories and journey vacation spot tips written by journey writers. For example you'll find "prime 10" lists, cool resorts and exquisite places as well as the section for journey snobs!

Most recent submit: 10 of the Finest Journey Destinations

Weblog: Travel Enterprise Success

Author: Tourism Tim Warren

Since 1994 Tourism Tim Warren works to encourage, guide & join tourism professionals' to comprehend their dreams. From Michigan to Mongolia, Baja to Bolivia, "Tourism Tim" Warren has helped one thousand's of small begin-up tour operators to international business development companies enhance sales, arrivals and profits through his e book, on-line programs and webinars. An entrepreneur at heart, he enjoys serving to present & future journey entrepreneurs succeed financially following their ardour of a occupation in tourism.

Most recent submit: 5 Journey Web Travel blogger advice site Gross sales Suggestions

Weblog: Y Travel Weblog

Writer: Caz & Craig Makepeace

Caz & Craig originally from Central Coast of Australia alongside their daughters have been travelling round the world. Y Journey Weblog was began in April 2010 as a option to share personal travel ideas and tales to help others live their journey desires. There consistency, dedication and international travel knowledge makes their travel website one of the best.

Aspiring Travel Writers and Bloggers often ask us "what exactly is a 'media trip' (or a 'press trip')?" These two phrases are used interchangeably, although you will see and hear Media Trip used more often lately.

Put merely it is a trip sponsored by a destination (sometimes a resort , different times a Vacationer Board or Chamber of Commerce) that is provided to individuals who work in the media (journalists, writers, reporters, bloggers, and so forth). Usually these are all-expenses-paid trips, however occasionally only the resort & meals are lined and you present (part or all of) your personal airfare (generally a resort would possibly cover your expenses from, say Miami to Jamaica, so you just should get yourself to Miami). Usually a PR Agency handles all the main points and coordinates the invites and writers or bloggers.

Media Journeys are typically provided privately to established journey writers, however most often are open to anyone who desires to use IF you meet certain requirements (corresponding to a documented writing project from a publication with a circulation above a specified quantity, or a documented minimal degree of website traffic on a high-rating travel weblog). On rare events a Media Journey could also be obtainable to starting travel writers or journey bloggers by an internet-savvy marketing person who understands that there are some very WEB OPTIMIZATION-savvy journey bloggers writing at the moment which might be more and more influencing vacationers by making the most of robust social media networking expertise.

To help beginning travel writers we've compiled a list of "Prime 10 Do's and Don'ts" so that if you are invited on a Media Journey, you'll come across like a seasoned professional (and maybe get invited on more of them).

First the DO's:

1. DO your homework before you go - lookup the destination online and browse all the things you can find - start on the official web site and print out info that you can seek advice from as you are writing. Create an inventory of questions earlier than you go and take it with you - add to your list as you are experiencing the vacation spot and also you think of new questions;

2. DO remember to try TripAdvisor, Yahoo Journey, iGOuGO.com, and other travel assessment sites - learn the critiques, focusing on any that are inside the previous 12 months or less, keeping in mind that one place can't please everybody, so that you're sure to see some dangerous critiques blended in with the great ones. Ignore them if they're over 6 months old - many resorts learn them too and do a great job of reacting by making improvements. Merely take observe and see in the event you spot enhancements when you're there and be sure you mention it in your overview.......which leads into....;

three. DO write up a Review for TripAdvisor.com and submit it together with some photos. Not a member yet? Higher be part of. It is the number one spot on the internet that sensible travelers test before they go someplace, so it is both a good way to increase your audience and another outlet to your writing. Join their forum and put up there as properly. You'll want to observe all of their tips;

4. DO take each an excellent high quality digital camera and a small video camera (the Flip HD or Mino is ideal) - more importantly USE them each continuously - you'll be able to never have too many digital pictures or movies to work with while you get house;

5. DO take a Twitter-succesful cell phone and Tweet usually about your trip DURING your journey (don't have a Twitter account yet? Higher get one.). In case you can, post typically during your trip to your Fb and MySpace accounts as properly. The thought is to construct curiosity for the articles you will write and submit;

6. DO benefit from any time you get to spend with the individuals who work at, and for, the resort or destination in an effort to ask your questions and get some official answers.

7. DO reap the benefits of any actions provided to you - even those you is perhaps reticent to participate in due to your personal likes/dislikes or phobias. In any case, your obligation is to your readers - you're there to "report" on all the things so do an excellent job of it;

eight. DO pattern as a lot of the meals as you may (after you take a photograph of it). Observe that I stated "pattern" - you do not need indigestion but you do want to have the ability to give an intensive overview of the food out there to anyone who goes there - and that means at native eateries in addition to those on the resort it's possible you'll be staying at. Be certain you're trying the 'local cuisine', not just the standard fare that you just'd discover anywhere;

9. DO attempt to discover a native contact who is actually 'plugged in' to the native scene - whether or not that is a Advertising/PR/Actions director at the destination, a chamber of commerce employee or member, or someone from the tourist board. Ask them to maintain you abreast of local happenings and occasions that you would possibly need to return for, or perhaps they will submit visitor articles about them if you can't.

If your readers find your travel article on a specific vacation spot attention-grabbing, it is a good wager that they'd be thinking about studying extra;

10. DO submit any articles, blog posts, or critiques that you write to article advertising and marketing websites similar to