#I dont even remember if there was gonna be multiple people in the hearts for the Tails one....

[pkrockinon]

Just gonna casual share some WIPs I won't get to finish anytime soon :(

I'm a little sad I never finished this one, considering his hands came out nice...

I made this one during my one month Hello Kitty phase last year and Blaze had a good chunk of her line art done too!

RIP Computer :/

[imfelinefinee]

Conceal and Hunt

Pairing: Seb.as.tian sol.ace x reader (Platonic / Romantic)

Summary: Hide & Seek

NSFW DNI

Notes: Saw a fish man, moral of the story. I like fish man, I'm gonna give him fish fingers for dinner.

Warnings: Soft vore / Nonsexual vore ( If that wasn't obvious), predator/prey behaviour, fearplay ig? Horror elements (it's a horror game), mild swearing, brief mention to trauma etc Remember to take careful of yourself and drink water! And sleep, that's important too. I kinda am posting it at 1am dont mind me-

Words: 4.7k+

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Hastening the shivering drenched legs threatened to topple and plummet down to the floor; The clunky oxygen mask clung to their neck loosely with rubbery straps, repeatedly colliding with the skin of their neck and mouth. Small bruises formed from the more prominent hits from the face cover. 

The comlink that held for dear life within the dwelling of their ear, a hand reaching upwards to tug it back into its place, feeling almost like an earphone that threatened to fall out after so much jogging, a hindrance and distraction.

Attempting to regulate their breathing despite their racing heart, skipping a beat every so often amidst their panic. Their throbbing lungs sent a pang of pain every time they exhaled, accelerating in an attempt to soothe their lungs. Only causing the pounding discomfort to worsen each time.

Desks aligned the walls, lonely without their occupying chair. Coated in a thin layer of dust from a vacancy of use. Calculators, stacks of papers, pens, cups from even the occasional plant. More importantly, though, was the currency down in the depths known as data.

Data was an important asset as it allowed for trading with the facilities merchant, otherwise known as Z-13. Trading the facility’s data in exchange for important supplies such as code breachers or med kits. All essential in the survival of the hell that was the place they roamed. 

Urbanshade Blacksite is the literal embodiment of purgatory in which “sinners” undergo harsh environments to endure and complete the mission of collecting the facility power supply, a powerful important crystal.

To a point where they were willing to redeem heinous criminals of their crimes if they were successful in their attempt to get the crystal. Not only that but the crystal held a bounty of a large sum of cash as well, meaning that they’d be rich by the end of it too.

Not all the convicted were criminals though, some took it as their only chance to escape from their guilty sentences. Only to fall to the same fate as all the others who came to Blacksite, besides one survivor in particular.

 It was a miracle they’d made it thus far.

The occasional locker that housed an abandoned lab coat made of the essential lifelines within the facility, was used as a covert hiding place from the monsters that lurked in the dark. The only sanctuary given to the people down in Blacksite. However, it wasn’t always the case as a creature occupied the lockers at times.

Tentacled beasts that camouflage themselves within the locker, threatening the only safety towards the expendables. Given the name, the void. If one hadn’t looked for their multiple piercing purple eyes that glowed under the light, they’d either be consumed by the creature if no one nearby came to the rescue.

The memo was simple. Trust no one. Trust only yourself.

Sprinting down the hall, only for it to appear longer than usual. The door seemingly moved further and further away into the distance as their hopes held low as they clung to desperation for their chances at survival. 

Everyone inevitably died in Blacksite, it was a miracle they’d make it thus far into their journey as they did. But, it likely wouldn’t last much longer. It wasn’t their fault they were convicted, it was an act of survival, as it always had been. 

Death almost embraced them at every second, something they were far too acquainted with in surface life and the depths of Blacksite. Tears clung to their tear ducts, pouring out like an overfilled glass of water.

The occasional sob escaped them, reminding them of so many dreaded horrible memories. They yearned to see their family, their friends, and their pets that awaited their return. To curl up in the safety of their home, within the blanketed sheets of warmth. Oh, how they missed it.

They wished they hadn’t taken advantage of it when they did, as it only served as a weight to their pain. Filled with regrets.

In spite, their disassociation halted. Leaving them confused as they bashed into the door. Quickly, they woke up to the reality of their situation. Realising that they’d reached their destination, flimsily pulled the lever with a sweaty palm. 

It took far too long for it to remember its function and open automatically, with shaky breath. They entered the next chamber, revealing another long corridor lined with nothing but a steep hill and windows. 

It seemed silent, too silent for it to be peaceful. With far too many encounters under their belt, they knew not to trust the atmosphere. It felt oddly reminiscent of a maze, with no end in sight as to where they were and how far they were from achieving their goal. 

The only comforting thing was the familiar hum of the ocean current outside the window, acting as a makeshift wind to the outside world. The only reminder of the world behind them with the sound of the occasional fish passing by, they would have spent their time there if it weren’t for the looming threat of death.

After taking a moment to compose themselves with a chug of bottled water, the irony of drinking water within the depths of the sea. Yet, essential to their continuous survival. It wasn’t every room they got to take a moment to themselves.

Listening for the sounds of growls, metal clanks or screams. It was all silent aside from the sporadic dripping sound of a leaking pipe or the sound of metal succumbing to the underwater pressure. 

Taking a step forward, tensely holding onto the rail that accompanied the stairway as a means of stability to their wobbly legs. Each footstep up the corridor sent them into exhaustion, their means of transport begging to rest and surrender. Yet, they refused and continued forward.

In the corner of their eye, they spotted movement. Their head snapped towards the window only to see something disappear into the darkness before they could fully spot what the lurking creature was. In case they were deluded, they checked behind them for a dweller. Only to find none.

Continuing onwards only to reach halfway through the steps with no issue. They refused to believe that it was merely their imagination, that they were hallucinating after going through so many of the same repetitive spaces of isolation. Looking back to the window with a grimace, eyeing the window with suspicion. 

Nothing.

Perhaps they were mistaken? Shaking it up to their imagination, though still bracing themselves in case of an encounter. Their thoughts went back to Sebastian, their “friend” down in the darkness. The two of them had a fair share of mutual exchange, both benefiting from one another.

The only friendly face that didn’t wish to kill them and they clung to that attachment for the sake of their sanity. Many times they had to hold back the urge to cry in front of the giant beast in favour of not hindering him with their pathetic cry of pleas. 

Small talk was the usual between them, hardly knowing more than necessary than the other. Yet after some time, they considered him a “close” friend. Perhaps even holding back some emotions and feelings towards him. 

After their initial brief encounters, the more they met up, the more familiarity grew between the two. Even a level of “fondness” from Sebastian as he always welcomed them warmly into his cramped shop, even being generous as to allow them to rest there when they needed it, desperately.

And right now, they needed it. 

Their stamina was at its limits, their body shivering from the lack of heat. Their body was unable to properly produce the warmth they needed after being drenched with water after having to go diving from the flooded areas they’d gone through previously. If they weren’t careful, they could succumb to hypothermia. Which wouldn’t be the most comforting way to die.

Endless, infinite. A relentless maze of torture, horrors beyond human comprehension. The only driving force going forward was the hope of familial warmth and the instinct for natural survival. 

It compelled them.

Turning their head towards the window instinctively, their vision blurred and dazed as they believed themselves to be falling asleep due to exhaustion. Their eyelids were heavy, although their panicked breaths remained the same.

As they made eye contact, an influx of pain shot up to their head like a pounding migraine. Quickly realising that they’d been compelled like a siren’s spell by the Eyefestation, its many green eyes staring into the depths of their body.

Fighting back against the urge to glance back, they forced themselves to peer away from the Eyefestation, little by little. The incoming headache increased its pressure, making them wince and groan in pain from the sudden weight on them.

Its glowing neon green eyes were like venom to their psyche, breaking down their already mentally weak barriers and taking advantage of that weakness. To make them succumb to it, as it somehow processed an ability of telepathy.

Gripping the handrail into a deathly grip, the only means of keeping them upright and balanced in the situation they found themselves. Biting back the urge to belittle themselves for letting down their guard, they pressed on.

Their free hand gripped the hairs atop their head harshly, taking out a few strands in the process, irritating their skull. Slowly, they made their way to the top and hurriedly jerked the handle on the door. Retreating into the safety of the next room. 

‘Please… Give me a break…’, they sighed as their head became dull and numb, a lingering headache from the encounter. Which was likely to interfere with their focus later on if they weren’t careful. How fortunate were they today?

Begrudgingly, pulling themselves from the wall they found themselves leaning up against. Fluttering their eyes open in an attempt to clear up the haze that clouded their vision, only to spot a dash of light upon them.

A bright red one.

“Shit…”. Picking up the sound of whirring machinery as it worked, hearing small clunks of metal. It became all too apparent to them that it was the sound of reloading bullets, right towards them. Their eyes shot to a stack of metal crates.

Ducking as a barrage of bullets was shot at them, sending a wave of shivers down their spine as they tucked into a roll, narrowly dodging the bullets with the skin of their teeth. Taking shelter behind the crates as the shots continued to fire.

The spot they’d previously stood at now lay with holes in the walls and floor, black marks of oxidation of the metal that housed them. If they hadn’t moved when they had, they likely would’ve been shot to death. Instantly.

Leaning back against the crates for cover, their hand reached for their beating heart in an attempt to calm down as the organ threatened to burst out from their chest. The turret halted its attack in favour of surveying the area in case they’d escaped, lurking around the area.

They held back the urge to cry in relief, which was far too close for comfort. They watched as the light went around in a linear pattern, left to right. A basic means of monitoring the area, leaving it vulnerable to blindspots and its activation panel across the room.  Which was their only way of getting out of their tight spot.

Yet, they couldn’t help but curl up against the crates. Hiding themselves from the sight of the AI that controlled the turrets, holding back the whimpers with a bite of their lip. Their fear catching up with them they held their shaking palm, holding it to their chest as everything slowly came back around.

They weren’t sure why they kept going on, why they kept fighting after everything they went through. A tear slipped past their defence after they held back the urge to break down and cry their lungs out, the stress of everything coming full circle. 

Barely holding themselves together, they couldn’t help but notice that it took just a little longer than usual for the turret to register that they were there and fire the bullets. Perhaps they surprised PAInter or didn’t notice until the last second, it was usually very fast to these things.

Sitting up into a crouch, they peeked out to look at the possible coverage from the turret. Only to notice a lack of defence. And knowing the turret, it would shoot at them the moment it noticed their movement.

But there was an opening if the turret looked in the opposite direction. It allowed them to run past it towards the panel if they were fast enough, it only required the right timing to do so, and seeing as they’d gotten through this many times before, they were capable of accomplishing the infuriating task. 

Waiting, and when they spotted the perfect opportunity to strike, they took it. Charging towards the panel and yanking the lever to turn off the dangerous machine, letting out a sigh of relief as it shut down.

“UGH- Come on! You’re no fun at all!”. The well-known high-pitched robotic voice cried out, a visual screen appearing on the door’s HUD. An annoyed scribbled face stared down at them with its frowny brows and upside-down smile. 

Crossing their arms, they glared back at the face on the monitor. The two of them stared at each other before the screen animatedly rolled its eyes, disappearing and returning the screen to its usual display of numbers.

No idea why a corporation wasted its funding on electric signs, it was impractical as the AI had long since taken over the security of the base. Putting the thought aside, they rummaged through a desk, finding the keycard necessary to unlock the door. Making their way through to the next area. At last.

The next room consisted of pitch-black darkness, letting out a groan as they grabbed their flash beacon off their holster and flashed the room like a flash grenade, using the light to momentarily scan their surroundings.

Spotting no threats, they continued towards the corresponding sound. They were really unfortunate with the amount of encounters they had with the occupants of the facility, hoping to make it back to the safety of Sebastian’s dwelling. It couldn’t come sooner.

<...>

Treading forward with the cramp in their leg, rubbing their eyes in an attempt to soothe their soreness. Exhaustion was shown in their poor posture, leaning forward with frustrating back pain. Complaining about it like they were an elder.

Stretching out as a yawn escaped them, the sound of cracking bones as their joints and bones clicked back in place, relieving them of the tension that had built up. A sigh of relief allowed them to feel at ease. At least temporarily.

With the moment of relaxation over, they progressed to the corresponding room. After so many rooms, it was tiresome at this point. A repetitive cycle of entering rooms, responding to threats, and going forward. It was necessary but infuriating.

They stopped when they heard the distant continual clang of metal, their senses returning to the same state of alertness. The familiar dread of fear returned as it burned at their chest, glancing behind them in distress just in case it was another wall dweller stalking behind them. 

It confused them to hear the sound, it wasn’t anything they were accustomed to. It was something heavy moving through the vent, which was rather suspicious considering nothing they knew occupied the vents. Unless it was a monster, one they didn’t know.

With caution, they moved forward into the next mundane chamber. The banging only got louder, sounding closer and closer as it roamed above them. As if the creature were right above them within the ceiling, the only thing separating them was the thick layer of metal that likely wouldn’t hold long with the power the beasts held in Blacksite.

 The lights malfunctioned, flickering as their power struggled to maintain its current of electricity. Reacting speedily and swiftly, they raced towards the nearest locker with a quick scan of the void’s eyes before ramming open the doors and diving in, bracing for the screams of the angler or fighting back against pandemonium if it had spotted them. 

Which wouldn’t be easy, especially on their poor hands. They’d have to waste some of their precious medical supplies on the scratches and bruises on their hands, repeating the process rooms later. 

A loud bang of metal rang around the room, tearing the vent entrance off its hinges with a mere punch as it echoed and reverberated off the walls of the room, sending it flying against the other wall as something pulled itself out of the vent. 

It wasn’t the tip taps of a wall dweller's stumpy footsteps, nor was it the sound of moving water or the sound of a rushing angler. It wasn’t any of that, it was the noise of something rustling against the floor. Movement without the help of walking with two feet. 

A low yet audible hissing rumbled throughout the room, constant as whatever moved across the floor stalked the room like a hungry predator, hunting for its prey. It knew they were in the room as it refused to leave, pursuing them as it checked the room constantly. Waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

To conceal themselves further, they held their hands over their mouth to hinder the sound of their breathing, refusing to move even a single muscle in fear of being found by the thing. Only hearing the sound of their heartbeat, their hot breath and the lingering hissing of the creature as it sounded far too close for comfort.

Too close. 

Suddenly, another blooming bang rang out, louder and thundering as the heavy metal object collided with the floor. Followed by the break of ceramic as a potted plant was flung across the room in the beast's frustration. Letting out a monstrous growl in the process as it continued to throw down lockers and desks in its rampage.

They couldn’t help but hold back a flinch every time something was sent flying, the thundering noise crashing only getting louder and louder as it drew closer towards them. 

Only for it all to stop.

Instinctively they held their breath, the sound of taps against the locker door beside them. As if knocking to come inside, an incentive for them to send them screaming. But, they refused. Not budging an inch in its attempt to scare them. 

Biting down their wounded tongue to a point they nearly hissed in pain, staying as quiet as possible so as not to hinder their hiding spot. Although they likely had been spotted long ago, the monster continued to toy with them as a form of entertainment.

It sent shivers down their spine, their arms shaking in pure terror of the beast on the other side of the door. It played with them like food, like prey. 

<...>

A shriek of horror, screaming as the doors of safety were suddenly sent flying open as claws ripped open the doors off the body of the locker. Leaving them open and vulnerable to the attack they were about to face, they quickly sprung up into action and ran past the beast's side towards the door.

Only for its claw to grasp their neck, a tight grip that threatened to rip open their throat or choke them to death. The safety of their foothold was stripped away as they were held upward from their neck, their feet kicked and squirmed as they struggled against its grip.

Their hands held onto the claw like a lifeline, their grip tightening on the wrist that held them as they struggled for breath. Tears poured from their eyes like a flowing waterfall as they cried out in pain.

“P-please! Let me go!”, the words barely made past their weak hoarse voice, begging the monster to free them from their cage. Almost choking on their spit as the beast let out a cackling laugh at their pathetic cries.

They opened their eyes.

What they saw was a sight that petrified them to their very core, sending a wave of dread and fear. Their mind panicked for fight or flight as they struggled to conclude, only to simply stay still as if playing dead. Their body ceased in their struggles as they witnessed the frightening sight before them. 

A large, cavernous maw with rows of jagged sharp teeth threatening to pierce their flesh. A bioluminescent muscle of a forked tongue dripping with saliva like a predator awaiting its prey after a long hunt of patience and struggle. 

Dangling them above its open jaw it prepared to crunch and chew them down with ferocious hunger, pressing them against their tongue as it tasted them for delicious flesh. Letting out a ravenous growl as it impatiently sampled its meal, dragging it across their face.

It pulled them closer, closer into their awaiting maw. Laying their face down on its tongue, narrowly missing the teeth. The mouth pooled with saliva, rapidly kicking out as they began to struggle against it, struggling to escape from their incoming fate.

Anxiety and adrenaline were their only company as they kicked out against the grip, attempting to bite down on the hand that held them. Only for a piercing growl to threaten them, silencing them for a moment.

Allowing the beast the opportunity to swallow.

A loud gulping sound as the monster swallowed them down into their anticipating stomach, strong in its pull as it only took a mere few gulps to send them down into its throat. Struggling was futile as the cramped oesophagus pushed against them, refusing to let them budge an inch. Leaving them with no option other than to wait for the pit that was the stomach of the creature. It could swallow them whole, like a bite of a morsel. Meaning they stood no chance against the offender, surrendering to their fault.

That was how it was going to end. With them being a beast's meal.

After a wait for the inevitable, the muscles pulled them down as they made their way into the belly of the monster. The walls dripped with mucus as it was spacious enough to house them within the cramped space. As if they were just the size for an appetising meal.

The stomach glowed faintly with blue bioluminescence like starlight littering the walls that would’ve otherwise been a comforting blanket in any other circumstances. It reminded them of a night sky as they curled up as much as they could within the claustrophobic space. 

Surrendering to their fate, they let out a whimpering cry.

<...>

“Pfft- You should’ve seen your face!”, a mocking voice reverberated around them. A voice they were more than acquainted with as they immediately recognised it. The chamber that housed them vibrated as the host let out a series of laughter.

Wiping away a tear from their eye, they punched the velvet wall with the hardest punch they could muster in their position. The predator let out a hiss of pain in between his laughs as he reacted to the pang of pain.

A hand crept its way to the wall of bruised flesh, rubbing it soothingly as it attempted to quell the pain of their hit. The wall collided with their diving suit, flinching away from the touch as they braced themself.

It halted.

“You… Okay?”, a worried voice called out to them. His tone was concerned yet hesitant as he asked the question as if the words were unfamiliar on his tongue. The walls pressed against them, his stomach tensed as if he were checking as if they were still there occupying his stomach.

Their body remained tense in their foetal position, sniffling as they held back the tears that threatened to leak out from their eyes. They’d already cried so much, they didn’t need to worry him with their fear.

Remaining silent, unresponsive as a whimper broke past their quivering lips. Barely holding their composure as they held back the urge to scream and cry out in a breakdown. Gripping the hairs atop their head.  A way of relieving stress.

He let out a thoughtful hum, seemingly understanding as it took him some time to think of a response to their reaction. Only to spill out a few words;

“I really scared you… Didn’t I?”. Sebastian was never exactly great at comforting people, after isolation for so many years. You learnt to threaten your way through, not to comfort the people who showed kindness to him. He hardly knew how to react at the time, often responding with distant words and a display of discomfort. 

This time, however, he was to blame for their fear.

“You think so?!...”, they snapped with a venomous tongue. Glaring at the stomach that encased them like a reluctant hug. The stomach quickly tensed at their words, and the hands that held the stomach yielded as he physically surrendered to their words.

The atmosphere was tense as the two of them couldn’t speak, Sebastian not too sure how to respond to their anger and them, keeping their mouth shut in fear of upsetting Sebastian and causing an argument between the two. 

Neither of them wanted to break the silence.

Eventually, Sebastian let out a sigh. His hand returned to their backside and rubbed it in an attempt to soothe and comfort them in a tender embrace. He’d never audibly apologise, the words poisonous to his vocabulary.

Letting out a sniffle, they leaned back against the touch. Accepting his makeshift apology as it was, finding comfort in the only touch of a friend within the depths of Blacksite. Allowing them to slowly relax and surrender to their exhaustion, letting out a yawn.

It was nice to be in another company, whether it be outside or inside. He seemed to chuckle as they relaxed against his touch.

“Tired, eh? I’ll have you know… I’ve recently decided to charge expendables to spend the night with me, a fair exchange. And seeing how you’ve already made yourself comfortable- And seeing as I caused you an… inconvenience… How about I offer you a discount?”. He played off his theatrics as usual, tending to prefer to lean back into his facade of dramatics.

“A discount?! After all that bullshit-”, they called out his ludicrously, crossing their arms in a frustrated huff. Of course the merchant would take any opportunity to seize money out of their customers, such was the life of a salesman.

Yet, he quickly surrendered. 

“Alright! Alright! How about I cut you a deal? Seeing as you’re a loyal customer, how about I let you use me as a sleeping bag for…”, he drew it out with the slurring of his tongue. “Free!”, he seemed to pat his stomach proudly at the idea of such a deal.

Annoyed by his dramatic acting, they pulled back their fist as they prepared to punch his flesh once again. He seemed to sense their movement as he quickly reacted against their retaliation. 

“Okay!- I’ll stop!... You should rest though, you’ve been through enough today”. He spoke surprisingly softly, and the hand that stroked their back gently continued in its path. The tender touch was enough to send them into a lull of safety, falling asleep mere moments later after his encouragement.

He held back a chuckle, allowing his occupant to sleep soundly in the comfort of his belly. The faintest of smiles on his face as he carefully navigated his body through the vents, attentive as to not wake up his loyal customer. Or should he say, friend? He wasn’t sure but knew that his attachment was going to be a hindrance to him one way or another.

It didn’t matter though, so long as they were safe.

He was surprised, to say the least. They managed to get pretty far away from him after their clumsy escape, perhaps it was a result of his stupor from the recovery of a flash beacon pointed into his eyes. Usually, he wouldn’t allow that off of any expendable person. But, he made an exception.

Maybe, too many exceptions. He was going to chase after them anyway, they had asked to practise against the horrors of Blacksite. And what better than the apex predator?

[chuuya-kisser]

im finally free so that i can fucking scream abt bsd 117 and tell my thoughts on this heartbreaker of a chapter (will def make another post feeding my delusions)

(spoilers utc)

firstly.

ASAGIRI. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUXK ASAGIRI. ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI I THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLING-YOUR-CHARACTERS-PHOBIC?????? NOW YOUVE MELTED TWO IMPORTANT CHARACTERS IN TWO CHAPTERS???? WHOS GONNA GO NEXT CHAPTER HUH WHO'S NEXT IN YOUR DEATH NOTE

well

Uh yeah so anyways basically heart broken for multiple reasons so we'll go in order

1- aya. oh my gosh aya. shes what, a ten year old?????? and in the span of a day, she has found out about a vampire lord who is responsible for destroying or saving the whole world, shouldered the responsibility of getting said vampire lord away from the enemy to save the world, developed a father-daughter relationship with said vampire lord, sacrificed herself and got saved by him, believed that the world could be saved now, saw her new father figure's body be torn apart and replaced by a greasy ratass who wants to destroy everything or whatever, with said new father's last words telling her to run to save herself, being saved by said father, then having him dissolve and die again in front of her eyes again. shes a ten year old. what the actual fuck. oh and don't forget, she doesn't know that she lost her other father figure too!

gosh she is going to be SO traumatised and even that is an understatement i really hope she has the strength to recover

2- so akutagawa is back huh? about time, about time (though im not very happy about the cost it took- but atleast he's back?)and he has agreed to protect aya on brams wish? thats surprising honestly, so im wondering if the stuff atsushi told him while fighting him at the airport or whatever affected his subconscious or something so that he consciously wants to start protecting people?

OR maybe! he sees a bit of himself in aya or smth? i mean look i dont exactly remember what happened before he met dazai and was taken in by him okay, dont come at me. but maybe he sees that terrified little kid and something stirs in him or smth anyways go akutagawa go you're her third father figure please dont die again ‼️

(also he looks so good-)

3- and the biggest bombshell

kunikida.

KUNIKIDA‼️‼️ NO NO NO THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING PEOPLE THIS IS NOT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT I AM IN DENIAL

just- THINK ABOUT EVERYONE. think about atsushi and tanizaki. who saw him disappear slowly in front of their eyes, to buy them time. think about fukuzawa. who wished for kunikida to be the next president because he was the most ideal. who cares so much, even if he doesnt show it as much. think about aya. she has such a deep bond with kunikida, and now she'll have to face the devastating news that one of the only people who truly believed in her is gone too. think about ranpo and yosano.

think about dazai. who is much too far away to do anything right now, who miscalculated once which led to him being too far to stop fyodors rampage in any way. who was truly doing all this because he wanted to keep the detective agency safe. who, when he realises what will happen next, his first thought is to warn them. who was his new partner, kept him alive, even made him a part of his schedules. who i think he must have to care for, even a little bit.

dazai, who thinks that anything worth wanting is always lost the moment he obtains it. and its happened again. and by the looks of it, it will happen again.

i genuinely want to know how he'll react but i dont want to at the same time. gods i cant fucking do this man

like huhhh asagiri are you tryna make me cry or some shit???? Because youre succeesing SPECTACULARLY

also- are we gonna see tanizaki get liquefied too next chapter? because this panel sure looks like it

im scared for september now like what else are you gonna throw at us, huh asagiri? and what do you mean i have to wait a whole month this is crazy

and i am STILL in denial and will continue to be in denial guys wdym, ofc kunikida is alive and well! hes coparenting aya with bram, having fun at the agency and stuff ‼️‼️ hes perfectly peachy theres no helicopter singularity out for everyone's lives!!! (wow this post is LONG)

[wd-ghosty]

Midnight Serenade

Donnie x reader fic

I really like this concept so I wanted to write about it, so basically you and donnie go on a date. I still new to writing so pls be nice, hope you enjoy <3.

It’s late winter early spring as you’re getting ready for your date, last nights flurry left some snow on your ground so it’s best to bundle up a bit. As you were putting on your shoes, you hear a knocking on the window, “Come in!” your window slides open and a turtle boy whereinga shit ton of purpel crawls in after he threw in a picnic basket.

“I was scared i was gonna be late, but i see you’re not even done yet”

“Scoff! I’m putting on my shoes so i basically am done, what happened to mr. attention to detail?”

“Heyyy i thought you hated ot when i said scoff!?”

“I have no recollection of that conversation,” he rolled his eye at your comment as he sits down on your bed. You get up to go get the drinks from your kitchen. “Common lets go.”

The two of you take a train to Clark st, then walk over to the brooklyn bridge. The two of you trot along the bridge and you’re excited to see where donnie is taking you.

“We’re here,”

“...Donnie we’re still on the bridge.”

“Exactly. You’re good at balancing on polls right?”

You face went white when he said that. You look at the belts of the bridge then you look back at donnie nodding. Your soul sinks in your stomach and the look on your face has donnie rolling around on the groud, kicking and screaming, “I’m just kidding hun.” his hover bike thing pulls up and your melanin instantly comes back.

“If you pull that shit with me again I will hop on your ass like super mario and beat you with your already shitty shell!” donnie went agaps, jaw on the groud, hand on his chest.

“Damn, I didn’t know it would scare you that much?” he laughs off his nevers as the two of you get on his bike. The two of you hop of when you get to the top of one of the tower things inbetween the belts, the city lights illuminating everything around you so you can see perfectly. As you are admiring everything around you donnie starts to set up the picnic blanket, “Wow i didn’t know you’d like it here this much.”

“What do you mean? This is so cool, you act as if you come here regularly.” he looks up at you with a smile, “... you come here regularly don’t you?”

“It’s our new favorite hangout spot, and much more discrete then rooftops.”

"Theres a really busy street right below us. what's the difference?" You sit down across from donnie on the picnic blanket and you help him take everything out of the basket,

"The difference, most people aren't looking up when they're driving. And why would they take their eyes off the busy rode?"

"Mabey they have a death wish?"

"Mabey."

You pull of the heart shaped plates and glasses out of the bag and start to gush over them, “Don’t you just LOVE these cups i got you!?”

“Yeah, i love that, including the heart shaped wicker basket, and pillows, and chocolates… I know that sounds like sarcasm, but i do love it.” as the two of you continue to unpack you see your favorite cookies, and cupcakes.

“Donnie! You didn’t!”

“Why do you sound so surprised like i dont do this all the time?”

“Its because you remembered!”

“It’s hard to forget our favorite things when we always talk about them. Every time we’re hanging out one of us just starts ranting as the other is working.”

“I love that for us, and because of that I know just how much you ACTUALLY like Atomic Lass… that and i check you search history.”

“And I yours… I shoudln’t have done that.”

“I warned you. Anyone who got quezy durring the saltburn bath tub scene, couldn’t handle whats on my laptop.” you laugh a little remebering the first time the two of you watched that, he left the room multiple times.

When the two of you were done setting up you just started talking, about whatever came to your mind. LMK, jupiter jim, the boondocks, anything you guys liked, “oh do you remember when we watched violet evergarden together for the first time?”

“Ofcourse you started crying when the episode about the littel girl came on.”

“Which one?”

“The one with the mom the wrote a bunch of letters for you daughter before she died.”

“That one was soo sad! But it was really sweet, that is what i call motherly love”

“You cry for the dumbest things hun,” he starts laughing at you but you laugh with him, “You wont cry for sad movies whatsoever but the second you relate to a character you start bawling. As far as i'm aware you mother is still alive.”

“It’s not about the dead mother! Its aboutt he dedication to her child!'' Donnie just listened to you rambling on about it, your voice is basically white noise. The amount of times he’s fallen asleep just by being around you is countless, the ease you put him at is unmatched. “and that just pulled all my heart strings!”

As the night went on the two of you purely enjoyed eachothers company, and the sweets donnie brought. As the two of you talked a sertain song came on,

But when the morning comes

We'll burn it down and then

We'll build the world again...

Our love is God.

“I forgot this song was on this playlist,” Donnie trys to skip it but you stop him,

“Remebere when we were fourteen how we did a two person play of the heaters?”

“Yeah what abo- ohhh” donnie gets up on his feet, “you remember the lyrics right?” he holds out his hand for you.

“Ofcourse,” You take his hand as the two of you get into character.

Hi Kurt, it's Veronica

How did you guys know it was always a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once?

Wowuhh... lucky guess?

Well, if you want it to come true, meet me at the cemetery, at dawn

Free pussy!

And we don't even have to buy it a pizza!

Punch it in! Whaat?! Hahaha!

The two of you were both theater kids, singing together mixed with your average acting filled the two of you with joy way back when you were younger. The two of you join hands again as you shift to veronica and JD.

We can start and finish wars

We're what killed the dinosaurs

We're the asteroid that's overdue

The dinosaurs choked on the dust

They died because God said they must

The new world needed room

For me and you

Well your average acting, everytime the two of you sang this song donnie was too realistic. The way he would make your heart throb was supernatural. Despite being cold blooded your were never cold with you touched him.

I worship you.

I'd trade my life for yours

They all will disappear

We'll plant our garden here

He cups your cheek in the palm of his hand, as he kisses you. His hand was warm, everytime he held you, you felt safe. He pulled away from you and continued the song, and you joined him quickly after.

Our love is God

Our love is God

Our love is God

Our love is God

“You missed acouple lines hun.” he pecks your cheek,

“Only because you kissed me,”

“Stop acting like you did’t like it”

“Ugh.” he wraps his hands around you hips and stuffs his face in the crook of your neck.

...I worship you

I'd trade my life for yours

We'll make them disappear

We'll plant our garden here

Our love is God

Our love is God

“I love that song don.”

“I know you do hun.”

I hope you guys liked it! There some references that some people might not get, like the super mario reference, but still. Kiss, kiss, hope you have a good night, day, afternoon or whatever. <3

[depravitymoon]

The Dark Side Of Narancia (cont)

This is part 2 to my Yandere Narancia post. I wanted the previous post to still be considered Safe For Work horror. Now, this post gets more violent and Not SFW. Furthermore, thank you guys SO MUCH for getting it over 250+ notes. I was not expecting it to get that popular. 

Note: Some of Narancia’s dialogue is in all caps. Yes, I know that can be annoying but it’s on purpose because Narancia’s being annoyingly unhinged.

Warning: Violence, Dub-Con, Non-Con, Knifeplay.

Level 7: 

For most darlings, they’d only see Level 6 Narancia. Level 7 Narancia is if you really insist he’s an asshole and to destroy his delusions.

This results in Narancia getting violent with you. He holds you down and warns you to stop being an ass. 

If you continue to resist, he’ll cut you.

If you keep trying to fight him (or worse, start a stand fight), he’ll use Aerosmith to shoot up your legs. Have fun trying to fight/escape him now.

Also, your closest loved ones are now free game to injure (or worse).

“I GIVE YOU MY HEART AND YOU FUCKING BETRAY ME?! Whoever is making you feel this way, I WILL FUCKING KILL THEM!”

Not SFW + Level 7: 

Since fucking solves marital problems in movies….. fucking must be the solution to your behavior!

Narancia loves knife play. Plus being on-edge, he’s sliding that knife against your body. 

To clarify, he’s sliding the flat part against your skin…..unless you keeping fighting him.

Typically, the blade part is tearing at your clothes. Don’t worry! Narancia will pay for more clothes! 

Trust Narancia! He’s gonna make you feel so good! 

He’ll overstimulate you without mercy. You’re relaxed, right? You forgive him, right? 

While he tries to fuck you gently, he's too mad. He ends up fucking you like he hates you.

It's a good thing he still preps you, because his thrusts show no mercy.

C’mon! You’ll never find a lover that can please you like he can! He’s not stopping until you forgive him!

Narancia has high stamina, so it is possible for him to go multiple rounds a night.

You’ll be forced to forgive him if you want the ‘love making’ to end. 

“I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU, MIELO! SAY IT! SAY IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!” “STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! I WORK SO HARD FOR US TO WORK! I ALREADY SAID SORRY! FUCKING FORGIVE ME ALREADY!” 

Not SFW + Level 1 to 6:

Narancia's thoughts on consent? OPTIONAL. You're not in the mood? You dont want to fuck Narancia at all? Just let him fuck you and you'll change your mind! You wont regret it.

Knifeplay is still there, but if he’s in a good mood, you can talk him down and he’ll discard the switchblade.

He focuses on getting you off. Oral is his favorite method. He’s always worried his hands are too rough for fingering/Handjobs.

He’ll still overstimulate you and pleasure you without mercy. How can you think about other people when he treats you so good?! 

Only an idiot can't see how good he is to you and he knows you're smarter than that!

He’ll force you to look him in the eyes while you two fuck missionary.

“Mielo! Don’t look away! You have so many sexy faces! It drives me wild!” 

Extra Notes:

Narancia doesn’t like being considered a baby nor cute. That doesn’t stop him from acting like a cute baby to his advantage. Just dont say it to his face. 

Narancia also pays your bills to keep you dependent on him. This is an aged up Narancia, so he should have some semblance of  adult responsibilities.

I still can’t see him kidnapping you. I dont think Narancia really wants that responsibility and I doubt the Bucci gang would allow him to take him that responsibility. Invading your home and paying the bills seems more efficient.

When Narancia doesn’t care about someone, he’s extremely willing to resort to violence.  Even burn down a whole street, remember? Before he tries to hurt you, he will hurt your loved ones. 

In fact, Narancia can unintentionally blackmail you into obeying him. I say unintentionally because he was about to stab your cousin for insisting you dump Narancia, but you doing what Narancia wants distracts him from his bloodlust. 

Conclusion

Narancia may be the cutest yandere of the Bucci Gang, but he's not harmless. As a consequence of being so childlike, he's unhinged and prone to temper tantrums. Personally, I'd suggest manipulating him so his dark side is tolerable. Just dont make it obvious you're manipulating him, because he will take betray harder than anyone else.

[ganondoodle]

so i sort of half accidentally did the end of totk on monday, i had over 130 hours and slightly over 50% of the game done and did the second to last fight with 3 hearts left and no way to heal but fairies after i gave up multiple times thinking the game might be trying to force me to fight a certain way xD

so im still playing it and am aiming for the 100% but i dont think theres gonna be much more to discover story wise the game is really fun and has a lot of detail and love put into it that you can really see, the music is fantastic as well, some of the characters get more love which is great but the story is … well disappointing but not surprising, especially in its treatment of ganondorf, who still feels incredibly flat as a character, which was to be expected but also … you cant fault people (including me) for faintly hoping theyd do something more interesting tho i will say the end fight is really well done and i cant think of a way to top that in terms of epicness xD

anyway, some unfiltered thoughts and opinions in no particular order (keep in mind i know its viddy game logic uwu but still some things can really destroy the immersion; and also i like to think too hard about the stuff i care about so take this with a grain of salt, i never expected the story to be world changing but i want to remind you that i am criticizing it bc i love this franchise)

--what the hell happened to all the sheikah tech?? botws story gets mentioned a few times but never is it mentioned what happened to all the tons of tech lying around everywhere? if they dismantled the towers for purah to build her new ones around i guess thats fine, but all the srhines? the titans ??? THE SHRINE OF LIFE??? its all gone, esepcially the shrine of life irks me bc the cave is still there and its still called by its bame but its nothing but a cave in a vague shape of how the buidling was it absolutely drives me crazy bc its so dumb?? even if it all stopped working for some reason why would you dismantled it all and even then where did the material go?? why would you dismanlted an neitre building like that anyway?? if you want to have a cave there just have it be half collapsed, if all sheikah tech has gotten useless just leave it there but overgrown?? and why is all of purahs tech still working then? zelda doesnt seem to care about it anymore either even tho shes been so obsessed with it for so long? the titans how would you even MOVE them?? you CANNOT tell me that all this tech that survived tens of thousands of years just went poof within a few years; and sometimes it even feels .. insulting? like you know how much robelo cared for cherry and now shes tiny and just serves as a way to buy fotos for your collection? the fact that the shrine of life is fully gone but the cave is vaguely shaped like its interior and where the bed used to be is a healing pool of water too? like idk if im just insane but it feels like 'haha lol remember what used to be here? get it? the water heals you like the bed in the shrine of life and lol there was the stairs HAHA remember? its gone now for no reason.lmao.' to be clear i like having some mysteries and all but that is just …. so weird? when i discovered the shrine of life i was so taken aback i didnt know what to do, it really broke my immersion, by alot even, it just makes it feel even more like all sheikah tech was replaced by much cooler (tm) sonau tech

--what happend to the sonau people? we only know that rauru and mineru are the last two remaining ones back then but … what made them die out like that? this is by far not as important to me as the issue with the sheikah tech but still feels like a point that could have been mentioned

--as much as i like the open world and how free you are to do things your own way but, regardign the dragon tears i think they should have been locked more behind story progression, i got all of them rather early on and it made it a lil frustrating to play through the other story parts bc you know the truth but you cant tell anyone and everyone around you is acting like a dumbass running after fake zelda while the real one is floating around above you, and i know thats partly my fault for getting them all so early but it still felt like some could have been more well hidden or locked or something since theres no hint to when it would fit to do which one; i expecpted impa to travel to each one but it seemed like she appeared on only a few here and there- additionally i fully expected her to be more important, that she would have an actual involment trying to help zelda undragonfy but that turned out to be very wrong lmao

--why are the enemies in the underground mining sonanium? ganondorf didnt seem itnerested at all in any of their tech, only in the mystery stones (only one too, he didnt seem to want any more of them either) they dont use it for anything? at least the ones on the surface collected stuff they could eat or use for fighting?

--did mineru really build herself a robot body just to fight ganondorf for a bit and then leave? as the last of the sonau, even tho long dead too, why wouldnt she tell their history and knowledge or something and instead if just helping a lil in the fight and then go poof (i half expected purah to be a surprise sage since the spirit one would have fit her i think)

--the zelda being the white dragon plot point lost alot of weight to me when it was just .. resolved like that in the end, i know she spent thousands of years like that and all but it seemed like a much heavier decision that later on felt a little less flat after fidning mineru even tho i felt like i didnt care at all at first bc of the way i found out ,and i half expected there to be an extra mission to try and find her soul again since that apparently gets lost when you do the whole dragon thing, but in the end that wasnt a problem at all, two ghosts and link (somehow naked again) blasting her with some magic(tm) and boom shes back and well and fine woohoo it was a non problem after all i didnt expect her to stay dragon since that would mean the end of the legend of zelda basically, but still it took away alot of the weight of her decision to me? like i get undragonfying her before the end would be difficult since you can get material off of her but still i hoped for something other than boom it resolved itself and i thoguht and worried about it for nothing honestly a post game or even another title where the main focus wouldnt be desstroying yet anyother one note evilest guy of them all and isntead the goal is to bring zeldas soul back and undragon her or something would have been a cool idea tbh tho i know its unrealistic

--did ganondorf think turning himself into a dragon would end the world somehow? did he mean the lil evil goo clouds he spit at you in the last fight to end the world? and how come that he was vunerable to fight? none of the other dragons could be hurt and for an 'immortal' dragon he sure went down fast also how did the stone get back on his forehead? you need to eat it to dragonfy yourself and zelda doesnt have her stone out either (i know viddy games logic but still) (on another note, gan shoving half his arm in his own mouth felt really cursed to watch)

--into WHAT exactly wanted gan to reshape the world into?? only destroying it is such a non reason if you want to rule it? theres nothing left to rule if you kill everything in it?? he just gonna play cards with some bokblins or what -i really wanted to fight ganondorf on the surface, not in his lil miasma incubation cave again :(

--so …. why he evil? are we really doing the and WHOOP suddendnly theres the eviliest guy of the world and he hates your guts for some reason thing again? no tension with the gerudo that seemed to follow him in the lil cutscene we see and the ones that went on raurus side? no actual origin? does he have ANYONE to talk to normally or did he just surround himself by monsters all the time or abadon everyone that once followed him once he got his power up?? you can make any design or fight as good as it can possibly be but in the end its still gonna feel hollow if the character has no character besides evil even the fake zelda wasnt actually him and just a lil puppet made of miasma so even him fucking with people is a little less interesting when he was actually just marinading in his lil goop cave, and the lil hand wink he gives you at phase two can only do so much lmao

--ganondorf is cool and all, but tbh he feels more like the evil miasma goop guy than anything else --why are the old sonau ruins in hyrule so different from the rest? like we know now that they arent actually a civilization from the sky alone but were even in the underground too, and all of their ruins have that blocky white style to it, the supposedly sonau ruins in phirone for example, albeit they share the dragon theme the style on the outside is very much different? and the ancient ruins from the other races dont match it either --are the sheikah descendants of the mixing of sonau and hylians? the white hair and third eye theme would fit to the only alive sonaus we see having white hair (fur?), the literal third eye and their affinity to techonology similar to the sheikah, and zelda having both light and time powers would make sense if its yet another descendant thing, but that would mean zelda was at least part sheikah .. (ngl white haired zelda might look pretty neat actually) but also … it didnt seem like sonia and rauru have been together all that long and no mention or even hint to them having children … which given that both of them die would be an important thing to mention no?

--why cant you do anything with the dongos but feed them????????? i wanna ride them :(

--where is kashiwa????????????????? they talk about him like hes a lost legend

--putting in all the amiibo stuff is cool and annoying at the same time, i spent 5 hours fighting my way throguh the underground to follow treasure maps and found 3 nigh identcal link hats from past games in a row, then two other parts of similar, then two aiimbo weapons and then jsut yesterday another one from a bigger quest that i expected more of; getting the armor sets of past games is cool if you want them but if i did i would have just gotten the amiibos back in botw, my inevntory already feels super bloated with all the new and old armor sets and now the amiibo stuff as well even tho i have like .. half of it all atm (and dont go and argue 'oh so complaining about more content for free???' yes. yes i am.)

--whats with this game and making link almost naked? rauru saving you from death? naked. (annoying) survival shrines? naked. weird teleport to alternate ghost dimension to blast zelda with magic power tm to solve all problems? naked.

--(added in edit) im glad dorephan didnt die!! i fully expected him to have died offscreen or something to make way for everyones favorite fish

--(added in edit) so are definitely other lands besides hyrule if yona came from there, also lol

--the story feels, espeically once you see the last cutscene, very …. uncomfortable to me if dare to think about it more than just taking everythign as its said to you, like … the oh so perfect descednants of the gods(what) marry a normal hylian lady and sourround themselves with perfetly obedient faceless servants of the other races so the perfect and good kingdom tm is born and oh suddendly theres an evil brown man (makign him grey doesnt change the implications, if anything, it makes it worse bc they wont even stand for it and instead are trying to hide it behind uuuuh no no its fine hes blue actally kinda way) from the desert that attacks the perfect good kingdom and king, then he swears alliance to them only to betray and murder da queen right away to get his hands on a super power the perfect and good king held and would have never never used it in a bad way nono and now they need to defend it by all means and at the end woohoo zelda has now again the perfect kingdom with no opposition except the yiga who are (as much as i love them) mostly played for laughs or .. well, evil(tm) as epic and cool the dragon fight was, zelda being the slim tiny white/gold/blue dragon and ganondorf being the evil spiky big black and red dragon and them literally being called white/black dragon feels like wow they arent even trying to hide the black and white storytelling huh (i know its a design trope to the bad be black(color) and the good anything else and spiky vs round and soft blah blah but that doesnt make it any better .. maybe even worse? idk)

the way nintendy was keeping stuff a secret and hinting around so much made me feel like it would finally be a little more nuanced and then it turned out to be even flatter than before and all that secrecy(?) was only to keep dragon zelda plotpoint a secret, something that was resolved no problem in the end anyway (i didnt need zelda to stay dragon but .. it all just lost so much weight the way it was done at the end)

-- (added in edit) master koga is the best character and no one can beat him, the most joy i felt was seeing him again and i am not joking, i wish i could talk to him normally tho without him being able to see through my yiga disguise :( im so glad he didnt die tho bc if he actually went to gan he would 100% be dead within seconds

--(added in edit2) i forgot to mention but was just reminded that link getting his arm back felt super weird too, so really everything that meant major changes got reversed basically ... coool ...back to status quo i guess, couldnt he if he wasnt missing it at least have it be discolored somehow? or scarred? any reminder? zelda too even, could she also have some sort of scar or similar due to her transformation ??

--(added in edit2) so where did the mystery stones even come from? gans and zeldas are gone after dragonfying i guess so ...what?

so in summary, im not eloquent enough to properly analyse all the problematic/questionable stuff and put it into the right words, but these are my random thoughts just spilled out, theres gonna be things i missed, forgot, or gonna think about later, maybe ill add it maybe not

again take it with a grain of salt, the game is still one of the most fun games i have ever played, my problems with it lie majorly in the story, its still very much worth playing!

[cipher-zoo]

First off to the birthday anon you own me financial compensation because one gonna be thinking about that forever

And kinda expanding on that maybe when buggy is a bit older its his birthday again and this time they didnt forget and they get a party set up that night. And then buggy doesnt show up. He is gone for hours and they are freaking out. Its well past midnight when buggy shows up scuffed and bruised but okay.

And they are demanding where is was at and why he didnt come to his own birthday party and to that buggy is just dismissively like “oh that was today”

And when the press further about where he was (cuase he wont tell anyone) he is just in general confused he is like “ sorry about the party but like you usually dont care when im usuallyout”

And before his mind can catch up Rayliegh ask “ what do you mean your usually out?”

And the look and buggys face is enough to tell them they once again fucked up and now everyone is trying to remember the last they saw buggy actually on the ship whenever their docked.

Buggy had assumed they knew when he was gone and just never asked either becuase they trusted him or just didnt care, they hadnt left him yet (there had been some close calls). He bother to hear the rest and just heads off to bed

Reggie, my friend! You can't demand financial compensation and then break MY heart in return! What did I do? I'm just the messenger here - well, a very unreliable messenger who adds their own thoughts and takes to other people's messages 🤔 ... but a messenger nonetheless!

All this being said, holy hell, I love this.

I have this Headcanon that, over the years, Buggy turned out to be a far bigger troublemaker than Shanks. At least on one hand, because he had less to lose than Shanks - after all Shanks was the golden boy, and we can't ignore that that must have put a lot of pressure on his shoulders as well - and on the other hand, because Buggy, as we know him, just gets himself into the most miserable situations. [Rayleigh definitely had to have the 'you can't follow strangers, just because they tell you they have treasure in the back of their carriage' conversation with Buggy MULTIPLE times]

Now I'm not just saying this to ramble, but because I think that maybe this is how the situation could have started.

When he was younger, Buggy would every now and again get in trouble for staying away from the ship for too long. I believe in the early days this was by no means on purpose, he was simply set on some goal or another that had him so focused he simply forgot to get back in time (that, or he got in trouble). Which in turn would get him stuck with more chores or maybe being stuck with guard duty for the next island etc.

But over the years, Buggy noticed that he would get in trouble less and less often. And he started to assume that Rayleigh simply realized that he could trust Buggy to stay out longer, since he was getting older and even if he wasn't as strong as Shanks, he could defend himself if necessary.

Only then to realize that the real reason was that nobody even NOTICED that he wasn't there... yeah, that must have hurt.

I don't know if you listen to musicals, but there is this song: "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" from the musical Next to Normal. And I have to say, this whole situation reminds me of that a lot.

Thank you very much for sharing these thoughts with me. Even if it hurts.

[Also, part of me feels like I need to write some happy Roger Pirate head canons, because as I said, I love them so much, and I know I am portraying them in a negative light a lot right now, but that's just one verse of them I could see!]

[commanderquinn]

meta: sam coe - post-campaign analysis

allllrighty i am officially post-campaign so time for first thoughts. since im still collecting my feelings/opinions on the main quest i dont want to go super into that. i wanna wait and consolidate into a deep dive on that one. BUT i am a fic writer with a fixation on socioeconomics, intergenerational trauma, and more specifically the phenomenon of atheists clinging to their religious parents morals because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their biases and the reasons they still hold them

translation: the silver spoon space cowboy is an interesting concept. poory executed in the case of starfield, sadly, but great framework for fandom to chop the head off of and bring to their own individual comfort interpretations.

this meta will include spoilers for the following:

-sam's questline and the npcs involved

-his romance

-cora, the safety storyline around her, and how she's the best part of the space game

-why bethesda was fucking stupid to turn the cowboys into cops when they have the perfect opportunity for not that. i went in hoping for retired/reformed army rangers fed up with war looking to defend their home from fascism given the "han solo simulator" marketing, but all i got was this lousy ass rendition of the texas rangers, which i for SURE did not want

-i WONT be going into detail about the main plot for this post, just fyi. i wanna save that, and sam's relation to it, for its own essay. id still recommend not reading meta's until you finish the game tho

-i miss obsidian's writing. this game made me want to play outer worlds for the 100th time. that will probably come up a lot

this is probably gonna sound more than a bit scattered and off the fucking plot for the first section, but bare with me, im making a point eventually i promise. gotta make sure we're all on the same page first.

now that ive done a majority of his content, it's clear what the intent was for sam and i applaud it. i like it when good hearts in bad systems spot the fundamental flaws and decide to abandon it entirely, or work to change it. i hate perfect characters. i hate characters that have no growth to find. sam is a great character for showing the awesome power of a perspective change. but damn. what a waste when you're talking about a format where a writer is constricted to:

-an exact conversation trigger (bethesda games have always relied on interrupt & player approach, and i didnt notice any variation on game engine front but i wont know until they release the ck so)

-word limit on all responses (yes, you can make long dialogues in engine. but those words still have to be f u n d e d from a dev standpoint. words are not free in video games. capitalism sucks for art.)

-multiple conversation branches that ALL have to circle back to the original topic (they have to follow a set pattern of establishing a subject, then the players possible responses to that subject, the npcs responses to those responses, AND provide a seamless, one dialogue tie-in path to the next branch. it sounds super easy until you're the shmuck writing it, and then it doesnt feel so easy anymore)

-get approximately two personal quests with, what was it, 12 motion scripted scenes? (im watching other peoples pts now so ill try to remember to count, but it was. hmm. lack luster imo. im not saying quantity is vital. im a bioware fanatic, i know the power of quality when its actually delivered. i didnt have any moment like that for sams quests and it was kind of crushing. ill get into it.)

-appeal to a wide enough audience to obtain profit by holding back eXtReMe ViEwS (id like to point out that there is, at this exact moment in time, an active pr campaign (and a few scattered gaming content creators) surrounding starfield talking about how pronouns are politics and should be left out of gaming. over a setting flag in a save file. you literally dont even have to press a button about it. like, you pick your characters body. masc bodys are auto assigned m pronouns. fem bodies are auto assigned f pronouns. you literally dont even have to SEE the button, and it never gets brought up. the only purpose it serves is so the game knows what voice lines to fire. that. is. it.)

im not going to humor the "thats dumb, bethesda makes political games" contribution to the argument.

i get straight people think they're being super helpful and witty on that one, but i think the world would collectively benefit from allies taking just a few extra seconds before standing on that soapbox to maybe consider that calling existence "politics" might be, gee idk, insulting. maybe more than a lil dehumanizing. maybe super easily solved by just NOT giving into their parents obsession with playing devils advocate. i think if maybe allies could shut the fuck up for a minute or two at a time and go look for voices of authority within the communities they're defending instead of trying to talk over them, that'd probably work out better. might help cut out the completely useless middle man their parents taught them to be when they drilled home "you have to respect everyone's opinion"

no the fuck you do not, actually. i, as someone on this earth attempting to be a compassionate person, owe people a chance at understanding. i do not, under any circumstance, owe someone any kind of respect WHATSOEVER if they cannot respect me as a human being. full stop. i dont owe it to them, i dont owe it to their religion, i dont owe it to the government they try to establish. i do not owe respect to people attempting to oppress me. i never have and i never will.

but remember. there is context to be found in the passing of time. yes, you need to tell grandma to stop being racist. no, you do not need to banish grandma to the nursing home if there's still a chance that she's willing to sit and listen. a chance that she'll empathize with social perspectives that the racist society she was raised in never allowed her to have. breathe and give grandma the chance. then send her to the home if she's still racist.

(yes that was an analogy for how i imagine a perspective conversation with jacob would go. i do not have high hopes of that man finding self awareness given. well. who he is as a person.)

now. if you've played through sam's content, you already know why im bringing all of that up, but lets put together a list of all the things that Make Sam Coe Who He Is before we wrap it all up in a pretty bow that hopefully reads a lot less scattered than this "yo society got some trauma actually" lead up ive dumped on you

quick interrupt just for me: i love that im back on tumblr where i dont really have to give all that much of a fuck about making sense. any audience i could find here is equally unhinged so mostly i just have to format it in a way that makes your brain not hurt. sorry if you dont have adhd <3

1: lets talk about cora's hair.

im going to make the race observation because its bothering me from a dev standpoint AND the gamer crowd is already starting to make cuck memes which sucks to see.

i get that this doesnt matter in a colonialism scifi future where a service like enhance exists and we're talking about two rangers that apparently went under cover regularly, but it matters in the context of how sam was handled in a 2020 era commercial, creative environment. im just going to MENTION that cora coe's biological mother (that jab was me not liking her as a person, not me giving a shit that she's white) is paler than pale, and sam does NOT look like some of his earlier promo images. bethesda as a company also has a very long history of making characters arguably tan to avoid this shit.

9/16 edit: was asked for source, heres the exact image im referencing, which is still his set image on the starfield wiki to date:

(im going to preemptively warn any white artists building the urge to argue over this: you DO NOT want to die on a hill about lighting for this one, fucking trust me. thats not what this conversation is, and if you dont understand that as a White Artist, you need to sit this one out until you understand the full weight of the conversation and the profound effect of media treating skin color like a rare diversity accessory. bethesda has a very very long history of this. their last major story title, fallout 4, (76 was a money grab made in the other studio and i barely want to call it a game) had a whopping total of two black characters in its main cast, and both of them acted in subservient roles so please. please please please just. stop trying to defend bethesda on this one. its dehumanizing, cowardly, and malicious in this day and age. i promise im not trying to bite anyones head off here, im just Old And Tired when it comes to suburbanites in fandom.)

i think having solomon be canonically black would have been a really important aspect. i think it would have given the opportunity to show white people why its fucked up that they get SO EXCITED to save war mementos (or in the case of starfield a nasa memento) and will go on and on about how vital it is to save that piece of history, but when you bring up memorializing the importance of race as it pertains to human history and cultural history/pride, they suddenly start getting Very Uncomfortable and throw out phrases like "what does it matter we're all human" while standing next to the gun their grandfather smuggled home from the war

there is no brightness slider on pc and i havent gone reshade tweaking so everything is still washed out on my end (dont worry, as an rtx user, imma be makin a rant post on that) b u t. cora coe has a pale as fuck mother and a vaguely tan father with blue eyes and straight hair, meanwhile my precious angel has a darker complexion and curls that look like they're closing in on the 3c range so like. im getting vibes that sammy boy mighta been whitewashed during game dev, and thats about as far into THAT topic as im gonna bother to venture for this post.

2: his dad

were we supposed to have more daddy issues content??? istg it feels like there was the initial map talk and then nothing. im not saying that i cant pull blood from a stone and give you an entire essay on that glimpse of family trauma just from a few lines of dialogue, but still. feels like thats maybe something that should have gotten more detail.

"no forgiveness between me and my old man. it's uh... coe tradition."

oh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. what a line to start his personal quest

before we go ANY FURTHER im gonna drop a reference to one of my favorite aaron sorkin scenes of all time. its from the movie he did about the chicago seven, and i think it fits VERY well when having a conversation about how sam is shaped by his father

unfortunately the exact scene i want to show isnt clipped anywhere easy i could find, so here's an article that talks about that scene specifically if you want more context but dont want to watch the whole movie. what we're really focused on is this:

which is a scene where a fictional account of bobby seale, the leader of the black panther party at the time of the chicago 7 trial, said that above quote to a fictional account of tom hayden while they were having a conversation about how the stakes of this trial are life and death for him as a black man, but little more than a family dispute and a dark spot on their records for the (all white) chicago 7.

its a GREAT continuation of sorkin’s fascination around father son conflicts (he covered it a time or two during his writing days as west wings original creator, which is a great political show id strongly rec) and it really really works when used in comparison to those rebellion days sam had that he still flagellates over

sam was a privileged kid without a foundation of emotional support or a safe environment to vent to. he didnt have the words needed to communicate what he was feeling and thinking and experiencing. he didnt have the means to express himself in a way that wasn't immediately criticized by the people in his life. it doesnt take a degree in psych to figure out that sam first ran for the stars to run from his father. and it sounds like that was tradition

from the MOMENT YOU MEET HIM, jacob is full stop "my way or the highway" until you hit him with the good ol bethesda persuasion and his disposition pulls a 180 to hand you the next plot device

sam: "you know why im here."

jacob: "oh? and what's that? you come to your senses? realize where you ought to be for once?"

w o w

i wonder why sam never felt safe in his own home. i wonder why he doesnt feel safe leaving cora there. i wonder why that miserable fucking attitude and guilt has sam convinced that jacob will be the worst possible thing for his curious daughter's self esteem.

yes, grandparents sip a different kind of koolaid when it comes to their grandkids. no, that is not enough to protect that child from that much intergenerational trauma. sam's made a bad choice keeping cora in space, but he's made an EXCELLENT choice keeping her away from jacob.

forget "showing respect" to his son's choices, jacob won't give them the time of day. he brushes off constellation and wont go meet them for himself, he insists that cora being "in her family home" is the only priority (isnt THAT telling) and, as if that wasnt enough to prove he's incapable of empathy, the fact that he outright, direct fucking quote during that first scene with him, says to sam's face

"the only mistake im seeing here is you"

fuck anyone who walked away from that scene of a parent saying that to their own kid and had the response of "i dont understand why sam wont let jacob take care of cora." fuck you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, if that was your reaction.

i looked for opportunities to get sam to talk about what the rest of those "30 plus years of experience with the man" really looked like after that. the fact that it was used as a plot device without any (from what I COULD FIND in my first pt, if i find any ill edit this) kind of dialogue discussion about that trauma around his father's behavior/mentality and the terrible influence it had is such a waste. chances are!!!!!! id fucking agree with him!!!!!!!!!! SO TELL THEM TO ME BETHESDA!!!!!! give me the chance to storm back into that house with the full story and let that geriatric fuck know why he will not be allowed back into my daughters life (yeah we're gonna be calling cora our daughter on this one bc, again, she's the best thing in the game) until he can learn to be a safe emotional environment for her

and THEN, at the end of the romance, the wrinkly mf drops a "hey can you go over sam's head and make the parenting decisions now" 20 minutes before your vows get exchanged in his living room (WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT MESS OF A WEDDING LMAO ITS A LOT but im probably gonna save it for another sam post where i talk more in depth about why packing a complicated romance in that tightly just Dont Work). like wow. wowowowwow. if that doesnt perfectly sum up how he views the dusty's (shhh i really hope that name catches on pls i keep seeing ppl use captain instead its heartbreaking) role in the family now, and confirm how he's always viewed his own son, idk what does

3: lillian "i can abandon my kid and demand she be taken care of in the same breath" hart

i was originally going to go into hella detail on his relationship with his ex but honestly i think im just gonna leave a few paragraphs and not touch on her again bc its bad for my blood pressure.

okay, here's the deal. im biased in the sense that i had a mother with attachment issues and lets just say that his ex is worth about as much to me as a pile of dogshit. it'd be one thing if she had that moment of "oh. sam and cora bond really well and i dont fit" and decided to look at that and evaluate if she wanted to continue trying to be a parent.

but she didnt have a moment of reflection. she didnt talk to a therapist. she didnt have a discussion with sam. she went back to work and decided "oh well, my kid doesnt like me" and then left her daughter with an open wound and no shot at closure. which is just. wow. that's active abandonment. she WALKED OUT of cora's life because she couldn't stomach the idea that she didnt immediately win over her daughter without any effort to connect to her.

then she has the nerve to yell at sam for not doing the best for cora. like bitch, you cant even consistently answer the phone??? what are you on??? she's REPEATEDLY broken cora's heart with false promises, and clearly made no effort to truly atone for that given just HOW angry sam is ALL the times he brings it up.

and she does it all for what????? a beat cop reputation and some shiny medals????? like shut the fuck up with that righteous indignation piglet, you're killing smugglers under someone's made up authority to protect COMMERSE, not creating galactic peace. the idea that THAT SHIT is worth more to her than her own daughter having a mother who's around for all her life milestones is inFURIATING and id fucking deck her if i could.

the fact that there's zero chance to call her out other than one single "thats a pretty awful thing to say" option is a real cop out from bethesda. they realized they put a woman in a position where she could be really, truly yelled at for something like child care, and chickened out on following through with it so they wouldnt take any heat.

thats gross and should piss you the fuck off, by the way. that sure the fuck isnt what equality looks like by any measure. you don't empower women by acting like they're infallible creatures you cant call out for being flawed. and you sure as shit dont empower the next generation of women by forgiving their abusers.

4: cora's safety

which brings us to the big sticky: sam is a disaster and i DONT think that keeping cora on a combat-active spaceship is right. i think she'd be much better off living in constellation hq (aside from the main plot obvsly) with a constant open comm to her dad and the ability to bring her to outposts and secured sights.

the problem with the biomother's abandonment isnt the distance. its the lack of attempt to connect. its the lack of forming a bond. its the fact that she had zero desire to understand her child once she figured out her child didnt "love her the most" when thats literally not a thing. the problem was never the physical space, and it wouldnt have to be in sam's case, either.

he's a dad that's there for cora day in and day out, he just never got the chance to grow out of the panic stage of a parent worried the first fever is going to kill the baby. he didn't have his dad because he had to get out to protect himself, he doesnt have a mom because of how long she's been dead, and lillian checked the fuck out at an early stage apparently. so sam was left to be the nervous wreck trying to keep history from repeating itself. the man's flying blind in the face of all the combined generational trauma of himself, his father, and his ex, all while trying not to fuck up shaping a human life.

you're damn fucking right he keeps cora glued to his side, i legitimately do not think his own ptsd would allow him to do otherwise without someone like the dusty to come and and go "hey dude, maybe its time we read some emotional intelligence and trauma books so we can start getting cora into a stable environment for literally the first time in her life? also im going to teach her gun safety for my own sanity because you keep letting her walk all over you and its scaring the fuck out of me thinking my daughter is going to try to raid a pirate ship at 15 because no one taught you proper boundaries."

5: his morals

its been 30+ years and his father wont let go of arguing and micromanaging long enough to try to understand his son. lillian is a workaholic who believes her only inherit value is what she can provide to an organization that views living, breathing human beings as occasionally expendable while screaming about its pursuit of freedom and equality.

sam coe is a man who got told what he was supposed to be his entire life, tripped into drugs and crime in an angry, sheltered act of rebellion, and walked away from it all with a very skewed, very flawed interpretation of morality as a result.

lillian and his father are the clear moral compasses in his life. like yeah, sure, he'll talk about how cora is his driving force until he's blue in the face. and he's not lying!!! he's not even technically wrong. she is his active motivation day in and day out. but she is not his Morality. she hasn't developed enough as a person to be able to be that kind of beacon. she's a kid rushing herself through childhood because she thinks that will make her better and no one in her life recognizes it enough to stop it. she shouldnt have to be the moral guide for someone who's supposed to be guiding her

sam cant let go of the ranger envy. he couldnt stomach being around it, but he cant look at that discomfort long enough to identify why. he can walk into a bank and plain as day go "ah, don't you hate the smell of capitalism," but he can't bring himself to blink the stars out of his eyes long enough to ask why the rangers are so willing to put smugglers to death without trial. sam has enough awareness to identify the system is flawed, but he doesnt have the guts to really stare that down

he'll make cracks about walter having too much money and influence, but he wont actually mention how he and his wife are the root cause of an extraordinary amount of pain and suffering and perfectly avoidable manslaughter as a result of their business. i get that constellation runs as a dont as dont tell organization, but if sam's going to give me shit about nabbing a paper weight from a guy's desk, i think we should talk about how he doesnt display anger for walter's business practices.

sam coe, at his heart, is a dreamer who doesn't want to look too close at things. he was taught that some things just Are, and looking for too many answers will find you trouble. he's got the spirit of an explorer dampened by a lifetime spent under cops.

you can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about how proud he is of cora for being a goddamn prodigy. you can hear the wonder and the excitement there. you can hear the curious kid in him that probably got pushed out of the way while he was trying to shape himself into a Proper Coe

i think sam coe is a dreamer who was forcibly taught to fear learning as a child, and thats the real tragedy of him.

so let's start to tie our bow here.

sam is a man who, in a way that only a privillaged kid can, stumbled into neon's life of drugs and smuggling and self harm through destructive behavior with both eyes firmly shut.

he didn't fall into drugs after a lifetime of being submersed in the culture of it. he didnt take them because he grew up surrounded by people that just knew that's all life was ever going to hold. he didnt get into smuggling because he was starving. he didnt take on his first "criminal act" because there was a life and death battle going on somewhere in his life.

this man was drowning in guilt and shame centered around not "being a proper coe" by the time he was free of his father's control, by all accounts. you can hear how much self hatred he has over the memory of that time in his life. look, im not going to say that age and recovery doesnt come with regret, but he talks about it like degeneracy and something to be guilted about rather than just... living life. like so what you did some drugs?? so what you did a capitalism no no?????

corporations arent people. you shouldnt steal from them because itll put YOU at risk, but under no circumstance should anyone hold onto any guilt for stealing from them. money is fake and capitalism murders people every hour of the day. fuck the system, its fucking rigged, look out for you and yours while capitalism is stealing your natural resources and making private homesteading prosecutable (translation: in our actual, real life here, the government can throw you in jail for building a house without a permit. go look up at the sky and think about the moral journey humanity had to take to get us to that point, and then come talk to me about how i shouldnt encourage people to steal from corporations)

anyways back to the video game, as far as the "what if he was unknowingly smuggling something like organs or weapons" argument, there's no desire for me to defend it, tbh. i dont view crime as a personality brand the way cops do. someone being convicted of a crime doesnt make me see them as lesser, it makes me see them as a person who did a bad thing. i do bad shit all the time. we all do. we're human. sometimes there's an excuse for the behavior, and sometimes there isnt. that's not the end of the world. you own up to your actions, you apologize, and you put in the effort to make amends that fit the situation. end of story. the obvious exception to that being when someone you have victimized tells you to fuck off because they dont want your further involvement.

yes. yes there are people in the world that are genuine monsters that spend their time and energy looking for ways to do the cruelest shit imaginable to their fellow human beings. but those are fucking outliers, so no, im not going to let a conversation about morality be derailed by a fraction of a percent of the population

but people (like the rangers) who aren't ready to look at the whole picture of context, who would rather hyper focus on the unbending rule of the land, don't see that. they see a "type" of person once a crime has been committed rather than "a person who found themselves in this scenario"

sam was raised by cops. he fundamentally does not understand how biased his own view is. he'll sometimes make a vague mention of crime being a necessity, but you can hear how many strings are attached there just from the way he talks about it. he truly views crime as a black and white subject with exceptionally few slivers of grey to be found. you can hear the "law and order is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom" in his voice whenever he talks about how the rangers are "good people" he just "didnt fit anymore" and it's heartbreaking

he'd be so much better off if he would take a moment to reevaluate his priorities and look a lot closer at that guilt he carries and why he carries it. i think it would even help him better connect with cora in the long run. it would for sure give him a better handle on why letting his daughter take on college courses this early in her life isnt something to brag about. its a bad sign that she's pushing herself to Be Something in the exact same way he used to. he just doesn't recognize it because her way is "healthy" by society's fucked up view of child prodigies

tl;dr

i don't need to fix sam coe. he's stubborn, traumatized, and sheltered, not broken.

give that man good enough head and i'm absolutely sure he could be talked into reading some -clutches pearls- marxist literature

[siriuslysatorusimping]

sorry kiko but i have a toxic relationship with angst and characters suffering now i dont want them to suffer i want them to be happy but....

tbh i think this is the work of akutami and isayama (aot, btw have u watched or read aot?? ) i blame them 😭

buttttt if we are gonna have anything angsty it has to be temporary only cause 😭 i cant

So, aot lost me really early on. Like really early on. I just wasn't interested in it. It was too much for me. It's this idea that there's too much despair under the guise of being hopeful... Like, idk, something about it just didn't work for me.

JJK is at the point where it feels cruel. To both fans and Gojo. Because Akutami can bullshit all he wants with that afterlife scene, but Gojo didn't do any of the things he really wanted to do, so I don't buy that he died without regrets. It felt so false for him to imply that he doesn't have regrets. And it felt like a way to pretend Akutami wanted to appease the people he knew would be angry.

As for angst, I'm all for some angst. But there's angst with a purpose - which is what Echoes in the Void and (Please) Prove Me Wrong were - and then there's a point where it legitimately feels cruel.

At this point, some of the things people are saying they think should happen or would add to the angst would feel cruel to do to Rinko after everything she has been through.

The physical trauma she's been through is more than enough break her, but she's kept going in multiple situations because she had to.

But the emotional damage? Guys.

Like, you've gotta remember that at this point, Gojo is basically all she has left.

Her mom has been gone for years. Mai is gone. Megumi is currently gone. She's lost Nanami.

Remember, Nanami was Rinko's drinking buddy, her annoying, dumbass little brother who teased her and drove her insane, who she loved so much. His friendship was almost more important to her than Goo's because it offered a level of comfort and stability that even she closed herself off from with Gojo to protect her heart. She lost him. And she knows that it isn't her fault, but that doesn't make that pain go away.

Gojo gave her that time to mourn him, that was the moment in the shower when she broke down. The silence that we skipped over between after they spoke and when the shower was done was her finally getting to grieve her best friend. She's not done, but it was the first time she was able to let herself really begin to feel that weight of the reality that he's gone. The fact that she will never see him again.

She has lost everyone. There's genuinely only so much more she could take before her heart would literally just stop working.

People have said that they really like how emotionally realistic Rinko is, and emotionally realistic Rinko would literally die of a broken heart if she went through too much more.

I'm gonna be honest with you: Once she sees Gojo 'die' (because in my canon he's gonna come back) Rinko is going to go in to fight Sukuna with the intent to die doing it. She's going to live, and she's going to destroy him decisively. Not even a competition if he can't beat her domain out. But she's going to go in thinking she's gonna die. And she doesn't care. Because at that point, all of her reasons for living are gone. So she's going to go in with the sole intent to take him with her.

She's gonna live. She's gonna literally psychologically torment Sukuna and then chop that fucker's head off and smash it into nothing. And then she's going to get out and wish she was dead, and then she'll see Megumi and realize she has at least one reason to live. And then Gojo will show back up, and she'll just fucking collapse because she's so fucking tired.

It isn't just going to be Gojo wanting to retire and disappear for a while (if not forever). She's going to agree with him. She's literally going to just look up and be like "I'm so fucking done with this shit. Fuck all this shit. Yuuta, you go kill the guy in Geto's body and burn it, son. Super proud of you. K, cool. BYE."

And they're gonna nope the fuck out and let the kids handle it while Rinko sleeps for a literal week.

[ihopesocomic]

I agree with your last post a lot I dont think death is something that should be seen as something that needs to be hidden away because its natural and I dont think it should be treated as taboo. But off screen deaths evoke a different emotion to on screen and you can have a character die violently on screen but if its just for shock value I think thats pretty unfair to your character like you go through all the effort to develop them and make people love/hate them only to kill them off in such a shocking way that their death scene is basically all anyones gonna remember of them.😅

Death scenes are usually pretty major aspects to a character or story so there should be a lot of thought put into them about how thats gonna effect the story and I think Clever's is handled really well because its emotional and does a lot for the story and also for multiple characters(mostly Clever herself, Hope, and Jasper) but when I think about Clever I do still think of other aspects of her story too. Death scenes are surprisingly pretty tricky to write well so great job pulling it off with her!

Yeah, exactly. Like a death can still be violent and noble, which we implied a little by the way Clever took some lumps that caused her to realise the situation was dire and telling Hope to get outta there.

Like I said, if there's a reasoning behind it outside of it being shock value, then cool. The Animals of Farthing Wood featured some pretty intense scenes which included characters either getting killed horribly or visibly dead and the main reasoning behind that is that nature is cruel. But even with that reasoning (which people use as a gotcha when it comes to people being upset by animals dying in the wild), the deaths don't feel dismissive or overblown. Bold's death was extremely heart-wrenching for me despite us seeing him deteriorate over the cause of a whole book or half a show's season because the goal of his character arc was to showcase how brutal a fox's life can be and to nail down one grim factor: 70% of wild foxes in the UK do not reach their first birthday. It also helps with you realise that Colin Dann was a wildlife photographer before he began writing books, so you know he also saw the cruel side of nature alongside the beauty of it. - RJ

[destinygoldenstar]

Responding To Ninjago Hot Takes (Round One)

Hey, remember the post I made asking people for Ninjago Hot Takes?

No?

Links here

I said I was gonna respond to some, so well, here we are. I’ll just do a post per hot take, cause some of these I have way too much to say, and I want to shout out people who made these in the first place. (Please support these people, even if you don’t agree with what they said.)

I’m going to repeat this for every post: I’m going to approach these hot takes in two ways: How hot I think they are as takes, and whether or not I agree with the take. Know that I’m just using both of these to reflect on others opinions, which is always fun to see, and I will try to be as respectful as possible to the person. (You guys be respectful too) And as always reblog some of your hot takes in either this post or the other one, preferably the other one.

So I’m gonna go from oldest reblog and onward.

@favesgrave

They said:

‘i might get burnt at the stake for saying this but i think llorumi is the straight version of catradora (disclaimer: i don't like either ships)’

‘harumi manipulates lloyd, toys with him, tries killing him and his friends multiple times, yadda yadda yadda, but eventually turns good (i cant remember how or why i havent watched crystallized in a while)’

‘catra does the same exact thing to adora!!! and also nearly destroys the world and is the reason glimmer's mom is dead and everyone's chill with that??? but then at the end catra comes out with the "i love you i always have!!!!" and everything's okay’

‘yeah harumi and lloyd dont get together at the end but people sure ship them still’

Yeah. I definitely agree with this.

For me, the whole point of this ship was that it was a toxic ship in the Oni Trilogy. You’re SUPPOSED to say ‘Yeah, this will never work and this is unhealthy’.

And I loved hating it for that reason. These two characters became such good rivals as a result. And it definitely makes you hate Harumi for all the personal torment she’s done to Lloyd. Toying with his feelings, turning his father against him, forcing him to watch his friends supposedly DIE?!?

Like, I was so angry when Sons of Garmadon ended on a cliffhanger (because I was unused to change and was an idiot). I was furious that this lady got away with all of it!

The point of the ship was that it was a lie and she’s toying with him. Like, convince me in any way that Lloyd is not the victim here.

BUUUUUT then Crystalized came in as a pure fan service season that decided to fix something that was NOT BROKEN.

I usually appreciate the writers actually taking time to listen to criticism and attempting to take it to heart and fix issues audiences had in later installments. (Not everything, but what can you do?) It’s why I can respect the shows heart more than anything else. They care about their audience and are willing to admit when they messed up somewhere.

There were people who demanded that Harumi be redeemed though, and honestly, I think listening to those people was a bad call. Because it only ruined the entire character.

I wouldn’t say it ruined Sons of Garmadon and Hunted for me, but yeah, the best headcanon I can think is that Harumi got possessed or something when she was revived cause she is just flat out not the same character in this season.

I think what got to me the most was that she did not EARN redemption or convince me in any way.

The big thing that redeemed her was a few moments where she doubted her place and Lloyd’s fate, and realizing the Overlord made the snake that killed her family. The latter is the big thing that makes her switch sides and attack the Overlord. Which, that could’ve easily been read as self preservation. But no it’s ‘her switching sides’.

We don’t even get an aftermath for her switching sides. Lloyd just says “She’s on our side now” and nothing else is done. She doesn’t even apologize! For goodness sake!

Like yeah, I can definitely understand people being angry at this.

Lloyd went out of his way to help his abuser. Someone who destroyed his life at one point and gave him PTSD from all of that. PTSD that prevented him from stepping out of his friend group and trusting others for a long time. And they treat it like the problem was that Lloyd didn’t consider ‘how to redeem her’. No. The burden is NOT on you to make things right in this scenario. The burden is on THEM.

So yes. I can definitely agree with this. I guess the only thing is that maybe it could’ve worked if there was another draft involved in the editing room, and I can’t deny it was good in the Oni Trilogy.

Idk how spicy of a take this is. Because I’ve seen others say the same things I’m saying. So I don’t think this take is all that unpopular. I’ve seen it everywhere all the time. But I guess to Llorumi shippers it’s a hot take.

I’ll give you a 4 for the Spiciness.

I’ll give you an 8 for the Agreement.

Anyone else want to say your hot takes? Reblog them on the original post!

[hontou-baka]

relationship ranting idk

blurgh i hate when im slapped with similarities between my ex and my current bf

I got married without a wedding, or rings, or anything traditional, to my ex so I could use my own tax info for school (plus it seemed like a safe risk in a seven year long relationship lmao). The semantics of it were clearly unimportant to my ex (i had to buy us both rings, and again, no wedding) and i felt embarrassed bc those things are important to me, so we never told anyone about getting married really.

Now that I'm close to getting the divorce done before baby comes, my bf is talking marriage. But in the same "just for the legal benefits" way. And i do want to get married... And i know it would help his taxes and whatnot... But my heart breaks thinking about doing the exact same dumb thing again, and idk i can make myself do it. Like... Sorry, prove im important enough to you to spend a couple hundred on a cute ring, get some photos of us taken together, hell even if he saved money for a nice elopement trip thats fine! I feel like aggretsuko with the donkey guy... Tadase? Idk i dont remember. Im sorry im kind of basic but as a cisgendered white woman that was raised mormon, ive dreamed about a beautiful wedding and feeling loved and celebrated since childhood... I think i should stand my ground on this :/

Another thing. Both have sleep issues and expect me to get up with them in the morning to help them get ready so they can sleep in as much as possible. And im made to feel bad about it if i complain because i dont have sleep issues. Im sorry you havent bothered your whole adult life to find a way to manage with your sleep problems, and im happy to make you food while you shower here and there, but that should not just be expected of me! And its not reciprocated! Its not like i make him get up with me, i would just leave him be and let him sleep because... I love him? Want him to be comfy? Ugh.

While im venting, ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO CHORES REGULARLY!!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!! IF HIM AND I DONT WORK OUT IM GONNA HAVE ADHD BE A RED FLAG I SWEAR TO GOD BC EVERYONE I KNOW W IT REFUSES TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE WITH IT!!!! Im getting beyond furious that he has to be asked FOR EVERY. LITTLE. THING. You eat and use dishes. You put your dishes with the other dirty dishes. Thus. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PILE OF DIRTY DISHES... MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. YOU CANNOT USE THE "OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND" EXCUSE IN OUR TINY ROOM!!!! YOU CAN *SEE* THE FULL LAUNDRY BASKET THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!!! YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN CHORE CHART TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU I MADE SO YOU COULDNT USE THE "BUT IDK WHAT TO DOOO OR HOW TO HEEELP" EXCUSE!!!!! YOU CAN SMELL WHEN THE CAT TAKES A HUMAN SIZED SHIT AND KNOW YOU NEED TO SCOOP TOMORROW!!!!!! YOU!!!! JUST!!!!! DONT!!!!!!! *WANT TO*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the funniest fucking thing is i TRULY wouldnt mind having a more "traditional" setup, id be fine doing 90% of the chores if he even worked 20 hours/wk consistently. But im thinking as soon as i feel recovered from birth i want to find a job myself because he just lets his anxiety win too much and cant hold a job, and i have actual goals in life lmao 🤪🤪🤪 but if i made him a stay at home parent im sure id be coming home to a world of frustration (things that need done never being done). Im just at the end of my rope bc with chronic mental and physical health issues, i get he cant do what most people can (same goes for me, not as severe on the physical side tho) but god it so often feels like weaponized incompetence. And i think it partially is. Ive talked to him about this over and over and it always ends with "just tell me or ask... Even though you shouldn't have to..." BUT THATS THE POINT!!!! IM NOT GONNA BEG YOU TO HELP ME KEEP OUR LIVING QUARTERS NOT MISERABLE, MAN!!!!! USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEAD!!!!

I joked about banning war thunder for a week post birth and he seemed shocked id even think about asking him to not game for a week (his only hobby/leisure activity). Idk.

ok that feels better i guess ill get back to my mashed potatoes

[doctorweebmd]

Because I’m nosey for the author ask…Hope you don’t mind :-)

🙋🏻‍♀️❌💔💲

ahhh NO THIS ISNT NOSINESS i LOVE oversharing get ready and also THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS!!! it was super fun and distracted me from the agony that is writing plot and remembering that its sunday night 🥺

🙋‍♀️ - do any real-life people know what I write fanfic? Uhhh. My husband does but I've never let him read any of it. I do tell people that I write 'fiction' in my spare time, because its like, my one hobby, but definitely don't extrapolate. i'm making the assumption that most people in the medical field don't know shit about ao3 but i also know for a FACT that there are multiple weeb sleeper agents out there. doing medicine. while weebing. BUT. i'm sure if anyone recognized any of my stuff it would be a 'what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament' situation haha

❌ - a trope i will never write? Probably alpha/beta/omega stuff. Some people do them really well and I've certainly read really great ABO, but its one of those dynamics that I would never want to voluntarily explore. Its actually the one tag I actively filter out when looking for new fic. On that same note, Pregnancy/Kidfic. Babies and parenting give me the major ick (this may be colored heavily by the fact that i dont want children and am at that age where people keep ASKING ABOUT IT.) tbh i'm also not much of a fantasy person or historical person, so a lot of hybrid/mermaid/royalty AUs are a no for me. and, probably most controversially? established relationship. listen i am here for the drama i dont care about healthy loving domestic stuff! i want miscommunication! i want pining! i want discovering each other for the first time! i want fumbling and blushing!!!

.... wow there are a LOT of things i dont think i'd write lol yikes.

💔 - Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart? Not to be predictable but yeah. Zero-sum game. In part because it was a very vulnerable place of writing emotionally - both because i had not, for many years, tapped into my own mental health experiences for fear of it being triggering while writing, but also partially because i was working in the icu during peak covid and everyone was dying and it was so fucking depressing and demoralizing. I teared up at a couple of scenes - this ended up super long so i'm going to break it down by chapter:

Chapter 7 when Katsuki walked by the bar his friends were having a reunion at, Jirou ran out to get him and Kirishima stopped her, saying 'we have to let him go.'

Chapter 12, Katsuki asking - are you afraid? And Zero looking up at the sky saying - Am I afraid? And then reciting that poem. 'Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.' That scene I can see so so vividly in my head, hear their voices, intonations, expressions - and it breaks my heart. The tent scene at the end of Chapter 12, too - 'Do you think that's what love feels like?' 'Fuck if I know.' FUCK ME UP. ARHGHH S.

Chapter 15 - Mitsuki saying 'But you’re gonna eventually have to find a way to love people without hurting them. Or you’re going to end up alone.' and Katsuki having a breakdown after. Then later in the chapter, Inko asking '“… I wonder, sometimes. Who he would become if he never met you.” WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

Chapter 19 - god. Where do I even start. The entire confession scene is like punch after punch to the ribcage. Specifically:

"How does Katsuki explain that the first time in his life he considered he might be in love is when hands he’s dreamt off for nearly twenty years (Now just the one. Half is gone, because it has to be, because to be complete is to give Katsuki more than he deserves) wrapped themselves around his throat, making him wonder if love might be a bit like dying, might be a bit like that last fucking breath when nothing in the goddamn world can feel more cathartic - that last strawberry, the last sip of water, the last bullet in the chamber - and they bled and fought and fucked and destroyed each other and nothing has ever felt to pure and perfect and devastating and absolutely holy - if that’s not love, then what the hell is?"

and

"“Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. I love you and I’m walking away from you and I never want to see you again. Okay? I never want to see you again.”

AND

“…What am I supposed to do now?” Inko Midoriya whispers out to the street. No more fretting, no more restless nights, no more ‘what if’s.’ Her son is back, but despite that, she’s still alone. They both are.

“I don’t know.” Katsuki responds honestly.

“Find something else to live for, I guess.”

Chapter 23 - the proposal scene. Specifically:

'Not because you saved me physically – and you did, you did, you’re always saving me, and I’m always saving you, I fuckin’ know, we’ll always save each other because that’s who we are, but it's more than that. Its more.'

AND

“But you need to know – you need to. That, with all of me, I love who you were, I love who you are, and I love who you’re becoming.”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. No matter how short, no matter how painful, no matter how fucking temporary all of this is. I want to experience it with you.”

“Marry me.”

AND. Finally and most of all. The authors note at the end. Even re-reading it now, its so raw. I think about this a lot:

'It all anchors on the belief that you can still be who you want to be. The belief that ‘broken’ people can get better. The belief, the ever present faith - because it has to be faith, because all tangible things are friable but not faith, not this - that you can be found. That you are not irredeemable. That there is a future worth fighting for.'

I have moments from 'we will wait and wait in that space' and 'nothing else fills' that made me tear up, but it still won't match the raw levels of emotion and vulnerability that was channeled in zero-sum. even now, years later, its still my heart.

Wow sorry this got SUPER long. but i loved going through zero-sum and picking out my favorite scenes so thank you for that :) :) :)

💲 - would i ever open commissions? gosh no, probably not. i'm not great at one-shots and deadlines and i work super inconsistent hours and tbh i have minimal confidence in the consistency of my writing to offer it as a service. i'm also very lucky to be pretty secure financially so i wouldn't have that kind of external driving force. but i'm very flattered that that's even a question. 🥺 id happily give away all my mind-vomit for free.

AHHHH i'm sorry this is so long THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME i adore you ❤️

[sungbeam]

hi friend as your biggest fan u already know im always gonna hype u up so have my lengthy answers to the ask game:

1. My fav fic of yours - flight risk......im pretty sure its the first fic of yours ive ever read but oh god its SO good erics character and everything abt it ??? Had me feeling butterflies so many times i screamed and yelled into my pillow. Also inspired me a lot in my writing slump and like... i dont wanna be cheesy but helped me mentally bc i read it when i was having a rough time 😭👍 but also PARTY PEOPLE !!!!! so good. SO so good. oh and also the sunwoo hoodie drabble owns my ass i reread it like 5 times already

2. My fav chapter in my fav fic of yours - not my fav fic but the kiss scene in the practice room in off the record ??? slaps

3. The best character youve written for - swing my way eric honestly. so authentic to him imo TT i just adore his character in that fic a whole lot.

6. Something i remember vividly - that scene from flight risk when eric asked sunwoo if he wants to go skate w them and sunwoo goes "no, im down" and eric is like wtf and so sunwoo goes "no, im down. laying down in my bed" or something (the memory is not 100% vivid as u can see) but I legit slapped my knee that was PEAK COMEDY for me

7. Something that made me emotional after reading - that one chapter of somewhere only we know when intak describes how he wishes he could hear his brothers voice sometimes because if he missed him in that way maybe it would hurt less. That whole series is...very personal to me in sense of grief :,)

8. What i like the most about your writing - THE UNIVERSES U CREATE and like. The friendships and the characterization of each character and how theyre all their own person and not just a tool for plot. Also your comedy in fics it always has me giggling

9. A fic im excited for you to post - sangyeons love in unity fic bc i need to know whats up w that secret gf

12. A fic of yours ive reread - hoodie talk LMAO

13. Have i talked to anyone else abt your fics - yes i fangirled to my friend abt u multiple times also we talked abt rhapsody anonymous after it came out 😭👍

YOU. i will actually ksbfkenfkndkfnf 😭 i love u, bar !!! ur support of me has literally been the saving grace to my writing motivation; every time i write something, i always have u in the back of my mind and i wonder what you'd say/react and if you'll like it 🤧

makes me really happy to hear that my writing helped you through a rough time in your life 😔 i wrote party people and flight risk and even hoodie talk during a ,,, emotionally stiff part of my life where i felt super isolated and emotionally constipated, so it's good to know that the feelings i wanted translated *were* translated correctly, if that makes sense

HELLO I LOVE THE PRACTICE ROOM KISS TOO SKFNDKFNJFNF sorry coughs uhm haha def not like biased or anything *looks away*

OMG THAT LINE FROM FLIGHT RISK 💀 i actually thought i was so clever for that one, thank u for mentioning it and sknfkd YAY thank god u found it funny 😭😭 IN GENERAL, the fact that u find me funny at ALL is like ,,, im punching the sky rn im actually celebrating 🤧

ik i prob said this in the reblog of that one chapter of the intak fic, but that series also holds a really tender place in my heart :') grief is one of the things i feel like isn't written abt very much here, and i always seem to leave traces of it wherever i go, so it's nice to know someone can connect to the grief theme </3

thank you thank you thank you for all you've done for me (more than you even know), and for just being so flippin cool :'))) 💖

[followingthefanfiction]

Jason Moran Dezon

Jason Moran Dezon, The Most Dangerous Boy in town

Leo: The Dangerous Nature

Catchphrase: “Hey I’m a terrible person, but I’m a decent guy!” :D

Favorite Ride: The Shooting Gallery

Intro: When he was younger, Jason Dezon would visit his aunt on the weekend. His aunt, Miss Connors, was a wicked woman as you already know. Only three, he would do his best to protect his younger cousin, Sarah Marie. This was a trend he would continue all his life. He did his best to shake off the abuse. The beatings never bothered him, he knew he was just protecting the defenseless child. However, after being called multiple choice words and being told he was a terrible boy, he began to believe it. As he grew older, he visited the Connors house less, and jail more. He was then abandoned by his family, and decided that he would stop relying on anyone to help him or his cousin. His final visit to the Connors house left an impression on everyone. Jason Dezon had had enough of the beatings, and on instinct, pulled a knife on Mr. Connors. This got Jason sent to jail for 2 years. In jail, he was constantly treated like he was nothing. Many others called him a danger and a menace. He decided, that if everyone was going to think of him like that, he would at least have fun with it. Sure, he would be a danger, but only to those he beloved deserved it. Every inmate in prison was there for a reason, so in his mind, it didn’t matter if he hurt them. His family had never cared for him, so it didn’t matter if he hurt them. It didn’t matter if he stole, threatened, or harmed anyone. This was because no one cared if any of those things happened to him. The only person he believed was worth being kind to, was his little cousin. The one who had always believed in him. Unfortunately, when he came to visit the Connors to see her, she no longer believed in him. With her thinking he was as violent as the rest of their family, he had nothing left holding him to sanity. He decided he would make the town burn for how broken he had become. This is how Jason Dezon become The Most Dangerous Boy in town.

Song Title: The Bomb

Song Theme: I could be a murderer and want to kill people, like everyone in town. But I have a tragic past, so you love me ;) …please love me and fix me

Dialogue lines: :

“woah woah woah, you can’t just ask someone why they were in jail for 2 years…”

“I guess I am the way I am because no one saw me as anything else, but I didnt want to be as bad as they thought, so I met the expectations halfway.”

“I would never harm an innocent. It’s just that no one in this town is innocent. I dont think anyone is really innocent. Soooo, yeah, I guess I’ll hurt anyone.”

”You touch my cousin, you fucking die. That’s it.”

”I’m like, the worst person, but I’m also. A lonely person.”

“FUCK YEAH DUDE!!! GET THAT SEXY CAT PLANET TO WORSHIP YOU !”

“You ever create elaborate plans to murder people, then almost go through with it? I do that every day. All day. Isn’t fire pretty. Why are you backing away :) am i scaring you >:)?”

“listen, dude,,,, you rock. But auto tune? Not in style anymore, sorry buddy.”

“Oh I remember you!! The guy who wanted to be a smoker stripper whatever at like age five! You’re so cool.”

“Who… the fuck… is that creepy ass doll. If she gets close to me, I’ll kill her. I don’t care if we are dead.”

“I’m killing you all starting with Ocean. You think I’m kidding? I’ll find a way.”

Character Thoughts:

Ocean is gonna die and I’m gonna kill her myself

Noel is awesome, he wants to fuck and die. Same buddy. Also, he took care of Marie all these years ya know? He’s gotta be worth something.

Mischa. Sarah Marie Connors, if he breaks your heart I break him. Thats like my job as your older brother figure.

Ricky, my dude, you are weird as fuck, but I respect you. You horny? Be horny. Even for cat ladies. Just treat them right.

Keep the doll fuck away from me. Creepy ass shit.

Choirsona thoughts: 

Havent met anyone yet. Get ready for me world. 

[meisene]

Itto x Reader!Angst

A/N: Sorry if it isn’t good or if theres and grammar mistakes. This is my first fanfic so it wont be that good.

——————————————-

It was terrible, your death. Itto had been acting differently when you died, he wasn’t causing any trouble lately, he wasn’t playing any games, he wasn’t the usual loud and happy oni he once was anymore. Even Kujou Sara felt pity for him, it was weird not having the loud oni continuously getting locked up. Kuki have been feeling upset as well, the whole gang became worried of their Boss. Even the people were quite spectical of how quiet the city were, without the loud laughters and troubles the Arataki Gang does.

He was in denial. Often times he would call your name only to be reminded by Kuki. “Hey, shinobu! Have you seen [Name]? They’re gonna miss our onikabuto fight!” he says approaching her, she felt terrible to say it “Itto, shes dead… You know that already” she felt as if a dagger had pierce her heart. The Oni’s smile faded away, “Ah, right… Im sorry for bothering you kuki” he says with a frown as he walked away. Kuki felt awful, but he should face the truth already. Not once had he genuinely smiled again since the day you died.

They try multiple things to cheer him up, onikabuto, games, and such, but it was all the things it reminded him of you. The days where you challenged each other to onikabuto fights, played games with each other, it was bitter sweet memories that wont come back. Reality was hard to face for the Oni, how could you just go like that? Why did you leave him alone? Not that he was blaming you for your death.

He’s always seen going to that one spot you two would always hangout, often leaving some flowers he found. He would always be talking to himself as if there was someone beside him, “Oh yeah! I saw this HUGE onikabuto on a rock earlier, but it suddenly bit me and ran! Aw man, it hurted!” he yelped touching the place it bit him. His chatter eventually turned into silentness as he looked at the sun which slowly started to set.

You always loved the sunset, the way it colors the sky so beautifully amazed you. The spot you two hangout at perfectly faces the sunset, making it such a pleasing view. The sudden flow of memories impacted Itto, he hasn’t realized tears were already dripping down his cheek. “Eh, Whats this? Tears? I dont cry! Crying i-isnt m-manly…” He says trying to wipe the tears away only for it to shed more.

It was rare to see the big oni to cry, he was always filled with joy and smiles along with his loud persona, but where did that go? Why was he sniffling and crying at the happy memories made by the two of you right now? “I… miss you…” His words cut of by the sobbing. Ushi had came out, putting one of his legs on the oni’s thigh to try and comfort him yet he didn’t seem to notice.

His cries lasted for quite a while before it quieted down as he had no more tears left to shed. Ushi moo’ed as were Itto looking up at the sky. You always said to him, stars were like the souls of the dead people so their always watching over us. “Itto, if there comes a day where i finally die. If you ever miss me, just look at the brightest star in the sky and remember that i am always there. Give me a wave sometime.” Another bittersweet memory shot at him.

He looked at the brightest star in the sky as he raised his hand in the air with a smile on his face as he waved his hand. Right, he wasn’t alone. You’d always be there watching over him… A smile finally appears on his face, a genuine one. “You’re always watching over me right? Then watch closely as i win onikabuto matches tomorrow!” He yells at the sky followed by laughter. “Dont worry! I’ll find that big onikabuto again and win!” he yelled again.

Itto had stayed there all night, telling stories and laughing to the moments like before.