#I feel like girls are especially taught suffering is love and sacrifice of love

[braveclementine]

Thanos

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.

TWO YEARS LATER

"This is the Asgardian refugee vessel Statesman. We are under assault. I repeat, we are under assault. The engines are dead, life support failing. Requesting aid from any vessel within range. We are twenty-two jump points out of Asgard. Our crew is made up of Asgardian families. We have very few soldiers here. This is not a warcraft. I repeat, this is not a warcraft."

Elizabeth didn't know what to do. She was hiding her children behind her, while also trying to hold one of them at the same time.

Halfdan and Astrid were behind her, only eight years old. They both looked so much like their father, though Astrid had straight black hair unlike Halfdan's curly hair. They both even had his blue eyes and Halfdan had the point to his chin and Astrid had his smile.

They were holding the two of the two-year-olds: Tove who was female and also had Loki's blue eyes though Elizabeth's brown hair and Hogun who she had named after her best friend on Asgard and had been Tove, Hogun, and Sages' god-father. And now, he was dead.

The entire ship was on fire and she was crouched down. She had tears in her eyes, looking across the ship to see the brave fighter, Heimdall, laying down on the wreck in pain, bleeding.

"Hear me and rejoice." A new voice said, a voice that belonged to one of the invaders. He walked past Heimdall and Elizabeth clutched Sage harder in her arms, the little two year old girl, her eyes wide open, but she didn't cry. "You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan."

Elizabeth often had trouble holding her tongue, especially when she was passionate about something or someone she loved. But she bit down hard, tasting blood, because now as not the time to get sassy.

"You may think this is suffering. No. It is salvation. Universal scales tip toward balance because of your sacrifice."

There were more of the alien creatures, walking around, over dead bodies. She kept a hand on her sword and she knew her children were behind her, with knives in their hands. They would fight, but they would all die. And she didn't know how to protect them.

Loki was standing in the front, with Thanos in front of him. He was the only one standing, in fact, his back to her.

"For even in death, you have become children of Thanos."

Thanos was standing over Thor now, who was unconscious on the floor. "I know what it's like to lose." He addressed Loki, as the others moved around, stabbing the Asgardians that were still breathing on the floor. Elizabeth tightened her invisibility spell as much as she could like Loki had taught her, but she wouldn't be able to hold it much longer, not for six people, even if five of them were children.

"To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail, nonetheless." He bent down, picking up Thor with one hand. Thor choked and moaned in his grasp. Elizabeth could hear Astrid crying quietly. "It's frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. But I ask you, to what end? Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same."

They were pointing a weapon at Loki's head now, all of them surrounding Elizabeth's husband and soulmate. She had to throw an arm out to stop Halfdan from rushing them with his knife, though she wanted to do the same.

"And now, it's here. Or should I say, I am." Elizabeth saw the purple gem that was already in his gauntlet. The first of six infinity stones for him to have.

"You talk to much." Thor grumbled, blood pouring out of his mouth. He'd lost an eye in their fight with Hela, they had lost so much in the fight with Hela. And now, they were losing everything. All of the people. Soon, the Asgardian population might be wiped out of existence completely.

"The Tesseract. Or your brothers and wifes' heads." Thanos said. Elizabeth's breath hitched when Thanos pointed at where Elizabeth was hiding the rest of her family. "I assume you have a preference."

"Oh, I do." Loki said. "Kill away."

Thanos pressed the gem to Thor's head and one of the lackeys immediately approached Elizabeth's corner. She wasn't sure if it was a lucky guess or if her shields were down, but she decided to act.

Thrusting Sage into Astrids' arms, she dropped the spell completely, lunging at the monster in front of her. The two of them immediately started combat, their swords clashing against one another. She was strong, far stronger than anyone Elizabeth had ever fought before, even T'Challa in his vibranium suit or Tony in his titanium one.

"ALL RIGHT, STOP!" Loki shouted.

"We don't have the Tesseract." Elizabeth could just barely hear Thor say as Thanos stopped what he was doing to him over the clashing of their swords. But she couldn't stop her fight with the woman in front of her- if you could even call her a woman. "It was destroyed on Asgard." There was a pause and then, "You really are the worst brother."

"I assure you, brother. . . the sun will shine on us again."

Elizabeth pushed away from the woman, retreating a few steps to come to Loki's side, holding a hand out at her kids so they would stay put.

"Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian."

Loki immediately retracted the glowing cube in his hand, "Well, for one thing, I'm not Asgardian. And for another. . . we have a Hulk."

Loki tackled Thor out of the way and Elizabeth shielded her kids as Hulk came through, bashing Thanos over and over. Loki came to her immediately, wasting no time in pulling her into a deep, passionate kiss.

"I love you." Loki whispered. "Forever."

"I love you forever." Elizabeth choked out, kissing him again.

Hulk was defeated far to easily for Elizabeth's liking. Thor attacked him when Hulk was down and was immediately captured in metal by the Squidward looking dude.

Elizabeth glanced over and Heimdall met her eyes. He nodded slightly to Hulk and she understood immediately.

"Get to Hulk." She whispered to her children and they went quietly, making their way to the Hulks' side.

"Allfathers." She heard Heimdall start to say. "let the dark magic flow through me one last time."

Elizabeth couldn't look at Heimdall as he started to activate the Bifrost. She met Thor's eye and knew he understood. But Loki was gone, scheming she was sure. She let out a pained cry, wanting to see him one last time. The rainbow light started to envelope her, "LOKI I LOVE YOU." She screamed as loudly as she could, before she was gone.

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"NO!" Loki heard Thor scream as Heimdall was killed. Loki breathed in, almost shakily. At least his wife and children were safe. And they would be able to alert Midgard of the doom coming to them. His wife and children were safe. That was all that mattered. "You're going to die for that."

Ebony Maw lazily swiped his hand so that the metal clamped over his brothers mouth. He lifted a finger to his mouth, "Shh."

"My humble personage." Ebony presented the Tesseract to him. He knelt, "bows before your grandeur." Loki watched as Thanos took off his armor. "No other being has ever had the might nay, the nobility to wield not one, but two Infinity Stones." Thanos plucked the glowing cube from Ebony Maw's hand.

"The universe lies within your grasp."

He crushed the cube in hand, blowing on it gently like it was hot, before lifting the blue stone between his fingers, glass tinkling to the ground. He placed it beside the purple one, a blast of blue energy going through the ship.

"There are two more stones on Earth. Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Titan."

"Father, we will not fail you." The womanly one said, as all of them bowed.

"If I might interject." Loki said quickly. "If you're going to Earth, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that area." He said with a smile, hoping this was all going to work. He was the master of lies and manipulation, but he had never done them on a Titan as powerful as this one. Nay, a Titan as powerful as this one that had controlled him.

"If you consider failure experience." Thanos said slowly.

"I consider experience, experience." Loki retorted. "Almighty Thanos, I, Loki, Prince of Asgard. . . Odinson. . ." He looked over at Thor, hoping he knew what he was doing, "the rightful kind of Jotunheim, god of mischief," He let the dagger form in his hand behind his back, "do hereby pledge to you, my undying fidelity."

He knelt, as though bowing, before thrusting upwards, his knife aimed for the throat. But blue energy stopped him, just inches away. Thanos didn't even look fazed.

"Undying?" Thanos questioned as he grabbed Loki's wrist, the blue fading as he lowered the stone, "You should choose your words more carefully." He twisted Loki's wrist so that he had to drop the weapon, before lifting him up by his throat.

It was a different sort of pain from dying before. Or coming close to death anyways. The air was gone completely from his lungs and he could already feel a sort of pressure against his forehead. And on top of that, he could suddenly feel Elizabeth's screaming pain through their bond. That she knew he was dying. And it was hurting her.

"You. . ." He choked out, kicking his legs a little. He struggled to get free, but he could not. "Will never be. . . a God."

And then Thanos snapped his neck.

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"Seriously, you don't have any money?" Stephen asked, dressing in a T-shirt and jeans as he and Sam walked down one side of the grand staircase, hand in hand. He was talking to Wong, a fellow sorcerer, as he walked down on the other side.

"Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual." Wong responded.

"I'll tell the guys at the deli." Stephen chuckled, "Maybe they'll make you a metaphysical ham on rye."

"Oh. Wait, wait, wait. I think I have two hundred."

"Dollars?" Stephen asked while Sam chuckled, used to the banter now between the two wizards.

"Rupees."

"Which is?"

"Uh, buck and a half."

Stephen sighed, "What do you want?"

"I wouldn't say no to a tuna melt."

Suddenly, they heard a huge crash behind them. They all covered their heads with their hands and then turned around. Stephen's cloak came around and Sam saw the Bifrost light not unlike that of which Thor and Elizabeth often had used to travel to and from Earth, but hadn't been seen in almost two years.

They all raced up the staircase, Wong already firing up his orange shields.

Sam looked down to see Elizabeth on her face and Bruce on his back, turning from green to normal. There were also two kids who looked like they could be anywhere between seven and ten, along with three babies.

"Thanos is coming." Bruce gasped.

"Bruce! Elizabeth!" Sam shouted, dropping down into the hole with them. He quickly checked that the babies were all breathing.

"He's coming." Bruce said again.

"Who?" Stephen asked.

"Elizabeth?" Sam asked, rolling her over now that he knew the kids were alright.

She rolled over and he saw that her face was tear stained and blotchy. "Sam." She sobbed.

"Hey, whoa, it's okay." He said, pulling her into a hug. "Elizabeth, whose Thanos? And why is he coming here?"

But she couldn't answer, to distraught. He looked over at the oldest boy. "What happened?"

"Sam, let's get them out of the hole." Stephen commanded. Sam quickly handed the babies up to Stephen and Wong and then helped Elizabeth out. Bruce got out himself and then Sam.

"Thanos attacked our ship." The boy, who said his name was Halfdan said. He was trembling, looking like he wanted to cry. He clutched a little girl in his arms. The elder girl hugged Elizabeth tightly as both of them cried. "He killed everyone, except us, Uncle Thor, dad, and Heimdall. Heimdall got us to safety but. . ." Halfdan rubbed his eyes. "Mom has been crying and. . . she screamed as we were falling. I think our dad. . ."

"It's okay kid." Sam said gently.

"And he's coming here, the man who did this?" Wong asked sharply.

The boy nodded.

"Okay."

"I'm going to kill him." Elizabeth said, staggering to her feet suddenly. "I'm going to kill Thanos."

Sam wrapped his arms around her, "Elizabeth wait. Just wait. You have your kids, we need to get them to safety first."

"They're safe here, aren't they?" Elizabeth hiccupped, but sank down on the steps, burying her face in her hands.

Stephen looked over at Sam, "Is there anyone on Earth?"

"Y/N, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, definitely Bucky Barnes. But the only ones I know you can get into contact with are Y/N and Tony."

"I can portal her straight to the Compound." Stephen nodded. "Um, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth looked at him, wiping her eyes. "Y-Yeah?"

"Is it okay if you take the kids to the Avengers Compound? Y/N Stark is there with her children and Tony should be there as well. Rhodey too."

"Um sure." She whispered, standing up.

"Alright." Stephen said, creating a portal onto the grounds of the Avengers Compound. Elizabeth picked up a child and left through the portal.

"Hey," Sam said suddenly. "I'm going to go with them. If there really is a fight here, Tony has the phone to call Steve and the others that are on the run. If I can get to the phone sooner-"

"Okay." Stephen said, pulling Sam into a kiss. "I love you."

"I'm staying with you guys." Bruce wiped his own eyes and Sam looked at him. "Thor. . . Thor is gone too, I think."

Sam squeezed Bruce's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He nodded, "I'll. . . we'll kill this fucker."

Sam nodded and then hurried into the portal after her.

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Tony had gone on a run with Everleigh that morning. Y/N of course, had to stay on the Compound with their newly born son Arlo.

"How about we go and get some ice-cream, now that we've finished our run, huh?" Tony asked his nine-year old daughter, panting a little. "You know we have our favorite ice-cream spot down around the corner."

"Then it's just around the corner, not down around the corner." Everly laughed.

"Very true lovebug." Tony chuckled.

Suddenly, he heard a very loud, professional voice ask, "Tony Stark."

He started, turning and Everleigh stopped by his side. "I'm Doctor Stephen Strange." He saw a man wearing blue robes with a red cape standing there. A portal- he assumed that's what it was- was behind him. He could see a broken staircase behind him as well, "I need you to come with me." Tony just stared and Everleigh grabbed his hand, "Oh and uh, congratulations on the new baby, by the way."

"I'm sorry," Tony responded quickly. "I thought Stephen Strange was Sam's doctor soulmate, not. . . whatever you are."

"We need your help." The man didn't respond. "Look it's not overselling it to say that the fate of the universe is at stake."

"And who's we?" Tony demanded. He then turned shocked when Bruce came to stand next to the wizard person.

"Hey, Tony."

"Bruce." Tony said, voice laced with surprise. Bruce came to stand in front of him, shaking his head. Tony could see his eyes were laced a little red and he asked, "You okay?" And then Bruce hugged him tightly.

Once he had settled down a little, wiping his eye with his thumb, Tony knelt near Everleigh, "You know how to get home to mommy, right?"

"Yes Daddy." Everleigh said solemnly.

"Good." Tony said firmly. "Then you run as fast as you can to her, understand?"

Everleigh nodded.

"I can portal her to the compound." The man said, opening a second portal which showed the Compound. Tony could already see Y/N far in the distance, talking to another woman.

"That's Elizabeth." Bruce explained, "Her and her kids. Long story short but Loki's dead. All the Asgardians are dead."

"Go." Tony said to Everleigh, who scampered through the portal and ran towards her mother. Then he followed the wizard and Bruce back inside.

He sat on a couch in what was known as the New York Sanctorum, watching another sorcerer show off some astral projections and tell a story about the infinity stones.

"At the dawn of the universe, there was nothing. Then, Boom. The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals, hurtling across the virgin universe."

There were so many corrections Tony wanted to make in the speech, but he kept quiet.

"These infinity stones each control an essential aspect of existence."

Each one was highlighted as they named it.

Blue.

"Space." Strange said.

Red.

"Reality."

Purple.

"Power."

Orange.

"Soul."

Yellow.

"Mind."

The one inside of Vision, Tony made note.

"And time." Strange said, looking down at the necklace thing he was wearing, opening it up to reveal the green stone that was inside of it.

"Tell me his name again." Tony demanded. He hated seeing Bruce so broken like this.

"Thanos." Bruce said. "He's a plague, Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants. He wipes out half the population. He sent Loki, brainwashed him. The attack on New York, that was him."

"This is it." Tony whispered. "What's our timeline?"

"No telling. He has the Power and the Space Stone." Bruce said. "That already makes him the strongest creature in the whole universe. If he get his hands on all six stones, Tony. . ."

"He could destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of." Stephen finished.

Tony stretched against the banister, "Did you seriously just say 'hitherto undreamt of'?" He asked.

"Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?" Stephen retorted.

"Is that what that is?" Tony asked, letting go quickly as he felt something like fabric hit him. He gave Stephen a look and then said, "I'm going to allow that."

"If Thanos needs all six, why don't we just stick this one down the garbage disposal?"

"No can do."

"We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives." Wong replied.

"And I swore off dairy but then Ben & Jerry's named a flavor after me." Tony retorted. "So-"

"Stark Raving Hazelnuts." Stephen said in what almost sounded like an ashamed tone. . . but it couldn't possibly have been.

"Not bad." He responded.

"A bit chalky." Stephen said slowly.

"A Hunk of Hulk of Burning Fudge is our favorite." Wong informed Bruce, who looked utterly confused.

"That's a thing?" Bruce yelped.

"Whatever. Point is, things change." Tony responded.

"Our Oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change." Stephen said. "And this stone may be the best chance we have against Thanos."

Tony responded with, "Yeah, so conversely, it may also be his best chance against us."

"Well, if we don't do our jobs."

"What is your job exactly? Besides making balloon animals?"

"Protecting your reality douchebag."

"Okay, guys. Could we table this discussion right now?" Bruce asked almost angrily. "Thor is dead. Loki is dead. Mine and Elizabeth's soulmates are gone. Forever. The fact is we have this stone. We know where it is. Vision is out there somewhere with the Mind stone, and we have to find him now."

"Yeah, that's the thing." Tony said uncomfortably.

"What do you mean?" Bruce asked.

"Two weeks ago, Vision turned off his transponder." Tony replied. "He's offline."

"What?"

"Yeah."

"Tony, you lost another super-bot?" Bruce sounded so disappointed in him.

"I didn't lose him. He's more than that. He's evolving." Tony replied.

"Who could find Vision then?" Stephen asked.

"Shit." Tony hissed. "Probably Steve Rogers."

"Oh, great." Stephen muttered.

"Maybe. But. . ."

"Call him." Bruce demanded.

"It's not that easy." Tony said, looking at Bruce over his shoulder. "God, we haven't caught up in a spell, have we?"

"No."

"The Avengers broke up. We're toast."

"Broke up? Like What? Like the Beatles?"

"Cap and I fell out hard." Tony muttered. "Sort've."

"Not quite true." Stephen interjected. "The Government made them choose and they all fought each other in an Avengers Civil War. Half of them like Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Sam Wilson are on the run. The other half like Y/N Stark, Scott Lang, and Clint Barton are on House arrest."

"Either way, we're not on speaking terms." Tony grumbled.

"Tony." Bruce begged, near tears, "Listen to me. Thor's gone. Thanos is coming. It doesn't matter who you're talking to or not."

Tony sighed. He had always carried the phone on him, no matter where he went, just in case. Never thought he was actually going to need it. He flipped it open. "Flip phone." He muttered in disgust. He paused though, as he heard something.

He looked around, things slightly rattling. Stephens black hair was moving slightly in a wind. "Say Doc, you wouldn't happen to be moving your hair, would ya?"

"Not at the moment, no."

What kind of answer was that? When did he move his fucking hair then?

Car alarms started to beep outside, they could see people running past the doors of the Sanctorum, and could hear screams outside.

Tony was the first one out the door, opening it up, and then headed in the direction that people were running from. A woman and a man bumped into each other, both of them falling. He quickly helped the woman to her feet and she kept running without a word. A car crashed into a pole.

"Help him." He ordered.

"Wong!" Stephen shouted.

"Got it."

He put his glasses on. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. what am I looking at?"

"Not sure. I'm working on it."

"Hey! You might wanna put that Time Stone in your back pocket, Doc." Tony said, before taking off into a run.

Tony saw what basically looked like a flying donut in the sky. Chocolate, maybe some orange sort of goop inside of it.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. evac anyone south of 43rd Street." Tony ordered. "Notify first responders."

Strange did some sort of spell, which stopped the wind. Tony looked over his shoulder at the wizard and he winked at him. Tony raised his eyebrows in acceptance and then looked to see where a blue light had beamed two creatures down from the sky. One was extremely tall and buff, with heavy armor. The other was thin and shorter, but looked a lot like a squid.

"Hear me and rejoice. You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos. Be thankful that your meaningless lives are now contributing-"

"I'm sorry. Earth is closed today." Tony shouted, interrupting the monologue. "You better pack it up and get outta here."

"Stonekeeper. Does this chattering animal speak for you?"

"Certainly not. I speak for myself." Stephen said, stepping forwards, doing some really cool, dramatic, somewhat stupid hand motions to create shields, "You're trespassing in this city and on this planet." Wong did the same shields on the other side of him.

"He means get lost Squidward!" Tony shouted.

"He exhausts me. Bring me the stone." Squidward said and the stomping brute creature started towards them.

"Banner, you want a piece?" Tony asked.

"Mmm, no, not really." Bruce responded. "But when do I ever get what I want?"

"That's right." Tony responded back. "I know it's been a while. It's gonna be good to have you, buddy."

"Okay. Shh. Let me just. . . I need to concentrate here for a second." Tony looked at him skeptically. He was green at the neck and knuckles, but nothing more. "Come on, come on man."

"Where's your guy?"

"I don't know. We've sorta been having a thing."

"It's no time for a thing."

"I know!"

"That's the thing right there. Let's go."

Stephen looked at him in expectation. "Dude you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards." Tony said.

"Either I can't or he won't." Bruce responded.

"It's okay. Hey, stand down. Keep an eye on him. Thank you." Tony said, realizing the emotional stress of losing his entire family on the soulmate side probably was a lot. He thought it would fuel the Hulks rage, but perhaps he was wrong.

He stepped forwards, pulling the strings of his jacket, then tapping the new arc reactor on his chest. He took his glasses off as the suit seemed to melt onto his skin, the helmet coming over his face. He lifted his shield in time to counter the attack with the brutes club, before bashing him with his fist. Light jets came from his back, shooting a beam of energy that sent the brute flying backwards, which Squidward flicked away easily. The beams went back into Tony's suit.

"Where'd that come from?" Bruce asked in excitement.

"It's nanotech, you like it?" Tony asked, "A little something I-"

Suddenly he was sent skyrocketing as the ground underneath him shot up. He swooped around through the wizards, blasting the car that was sent their way.

"Gotta get that stone out of here, now." Tony said.

"It stays with me." The angry wizard said.

"Exactly. Bye." Tony said, then flew towards the aliens. He dodged the concrete walls, but was hit by something metallic and powerful enough to send him all the way back to where he'd been running earlier with Everleigh.

"Tony, you okay?" Bruce's voice called out, footsteps pounding on the ground as he ran over. "How we doing? Good? Bad?"

"Really, really good." Tony said sarcastically from where he was laying seven inches down in the dirt, back against a tree. "Really good. Do you plan on helping out?"

"I'm trying. He won't come out." Bruce responded.

"Hammer." Tony pushed Bruce out of the way, then tried to beam the brute with his laser, but his shield blocked it, cutting down trees instead with backlash.

Tony was suddenly stopped by being crushed by a hammer, by a very slender figure in a red suit. "Hey man!" The kid greeted the alien cheerfully. "What's up Mr. Stark?"

"Kid, where'd you come from?"

"A field trip to MOMA." He responded as he was picked up and tossed across the park. It gave Tony a chance to fire a laser beam up his side.

"What's this guys problem Mr. Stark?"

"Uh, he's from space. He came here to steal a necklace from a wizard." Tony said and the two of them continued to fight the brute. Tony watched Stephen fly by, seemingly unconscious or something. "Kid that's the wizard. Get on it."

"On it." Peter said, taking off after Stephen.

After a few minutes, he heard Peters' voice, "Um, Mr. Stark, I'm being beamed up."

"Hang on, kid." Tony said, extremely stressed out. He tried fighting the metal contraption around his body. The brute ran at him with a sword, leaping, but before he could come down on him, a portal opened up and the brute fell into a snowy tundra. Wong cut the portal off as he lunged upwards, the hand being cut off.

"Wong you're invited to my baby shower." Tony said, before blasting off the ground and taking off after the kid and wizard. "Give me a little juice F.R.I.D.A.Y." His feet melded together into one big booster to give him some extra speed. "Unlock 17-A."

"Pete you gotta let go, I'm gonna catch you." Tony instructed.

"But you said save the Wizard." Peter argued. "I can't breathe."

"We're to high up. You're running out of air."

"Yeah." the kid gasped, "That makes sense." And then suddenly, "Mr. Stark it smells like a new car in here!"

"Happy trails, kid." Tony hovered over him. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. send him home."

"Yep."

"Oh come on!"

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I just read the Darkling prequel Demon in the Woods and I had a thought. It’s probably not a very relevant thought but its a thought none the less. So spoiler alert for Demon in the Woods and also Shadow and Bone both book and series. So if you don’t want to be spoiled stop reading now and just keep scrolling past.  

In the prequel it tells the story of The Darkling as a 13 year old boy. Its established that he and Baghra are always on the move and that they have to hide their identities even from other Grisha. One of the things Baghra warns Aleksander is to never let a grisha touch him because then they’ll know he’s an amplifier and that would put them in danger (spoiler alert he lets a grisha touch him and it puts him in danger). It’s pretty obvious that this nomadic lifestyle makes him feel very lonely as they never stay long enough anywhere for him to make any friends. And even if he ever does make friends well eventually he and his mother move on and leave them behind. In the story he and his mother arrive at a grisha village where they are welcomed by the Ulle (the ulle is the chief) who invites them to stay through the winter until spring. Whilst at the village Aleksander who is going by the name Eryk does make a friend, Annika, but she discovers he’s an amplifier when he takes her hand to help her up after a bully the Ulle’s son Lev uses his squaller power to push her to the ground. Later that night she lures him up to a lake and tries to kill him with a rock whilst they are swimming, Lev shows up and upon discovering the reason Annika is trying to kill him decides he wants Aleksander’s bones for himself and so it ends up being this three way fight between them that ends with Aleksander using The Cut for the first time and killing both Annika and Lev. 

The first thing I found interesting is this, if we are assuming that the showrunner’s are planning on keeping this short story as his canon backstory then I can’t help but think about that scene where Aleksander is explaining the cut to Alina in episode 2 and he says he would only use it as a last resort like that ambush. The way he talked about it seemed like he was thinking back on a memory and before reading Demon in the Wood I just figured he was thinking back on the Fjerdan ambush. But now I can’t help but wonder if he was also thinking back to this moment when he used the cut for the first time after being ambushed and nearly killed by someone he thought was a friend.  

The second thing that interested me was that after he and the now dead Annika and Lev are found he tells the Ulle that they were attacked. The Ulle and the village Elders believe that its a nearby otkazat’sya village that has done it. Baghra and the Ulle launch an attack on the village and after we get this exchange between Baghra and Aleksander:

When he could find the strength, he asked, “The village?”

“They would not give up the riders who attacked you, so we killed them all.”

“All?”

“Every man, woman, and child. Then we burned their houses to the ground.”

He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

She gave him the barest shake, forcing him to look at her. “I’m not. Do you understand me? I would burn a thousand villages, sacrifice a thousand lives to keep you safe. It would be us on that pyre if you hadn’t thought quickly.” Then her shoulders slumped. “But I cannot hate that boy and girl for what they tried to do. The way we live, the way we’re forced to live—it makes us desperate.”

It is worth pointing out that Baghra was aware that Aleksander was lying about the attackers when she and the Ulle retaliated against the village. She knew the villagers were innocent. I can’t help but see the similarities between this situation where Baghra took part in the slaughter of a village full of innocents and the Darkling’s attack on Novokribirsk. I said in my review of the shadow and bone book that one of the things I was frustrated about was I didn’t understand why the Darkling had killed a village of innocent people with seemingly no motivation unlike in the show where he did have a motivation that I could understand. I can’t help but wonder now if it stems back to this. As a young boy his mother slaughters a village out of love for him and to protect him. On top of that when he himself is feeling guilty about his part in the loss of these innocent lives Baghra makes him believe that it was ok not to be sorry because it was a us or them situation. I think that line ‘I would burn a thousand villages, sacrifice a thousand lives to keep you safe’ is really how the Darkling feels about the grisha. Especially when you couple it with this quote from the prequel: 

He understood then. The Grisha lived as shadows did, passing over the surface of the world, touching nothing, forced to change their shapes and hide in corners, driven by fear as shadows were driven by the sun. No safe place. No haven.

There will be, he promised in the darkness, new words written upon his heart. I will make one.

It was at this moment at the ripe old age of 13 that Aleksander makes his vow of creating a safe place for the Grisha. It really shows just how much time he has spent trying to achieve this goal, I mean he really did dedicate his entire life to this cause. And all of it stems from this early trauma he suffered when a young girl and a young boy tried to kill him out of desperation because they felt weak and hunted and felt like if only they had the strength of an amplifier they might be able to survive. I do think this was a pivotal moment in making Aleksander who he was. I do think this influenced his decision to attack Novokribirsk or at least I suspect it wasn’t far from his mind when he did. 

Also the things that we get taught as a child do stick with us. In this moment Aleksander is being taught that when you love someone and when you want to protect someone then its ok to commit terrible acts against others. Further more he is taught by the Ulle’s and the Grisha villagers’ actions that when someone does you wrong it is right to seek retribution for those sins. Whilst Aleksander knows that the people of the nearby Village were innocent he also knows that the Ulle and the Elders of the grisha village don’t know. So he is watching and learning from their response to a situation where they believe someone has killed two of their children. So knowing this think back to Novokribirsk. In the show he says to Alina that those men had tried to kill her and this was their retribution. Knowing this backstory, again if they are keeping it as canon in the show, makes this moment make even more sense for Aleksander’s character, he believes that he was right and just in his actions because as a child he was taught that this is the response you should take when someone hurts or tries to hurt someone you love and care for. It also worth noting that in the flashback in episode 7 Aleksander says to the soldiers that he doesn’t want to hurt them and that he is approaching peacefully. This shows that as time has gone on he has thought maybe there is another way of dealing with this sort of situation that doesn’t involve violence. But then when they kill Luda and he kills the King’s men in return he finds himself back in that same place of killing in retribution of the death of someone he loves. I feel like this only cemented the idea in his head that killing out of retribution is the correct or best way of dealing with it because when he tried it a different way the outcome was still the same.  

I mean I could be reaching with all of this, but I feel like this backstory really helps explain Aleksander’s actions when it comes to Novokribirsk and gives even more nuance to his character. I mean between this as a child and then Luda later in his life its no wonder he’s gone a bit dark. Poor guy is just not catching a break.    

[pbscore]

Black women don’t deserve the bullshit that y’all put them through. Period.

They don’t deserve the white tears. They don’t deserve the constant gentrification of their culture, style, way of talking, politics, or any other things they’ve created. They don’t deserve the misogynoir from black AND non-black people. They don’t deserve the fake praise y’all give them for their ‘strength’ and ‘leadership,’ only for you to use that as an excuse to ignore their pain and suffering.

I’m not saying this to get on anyone’s ‘good side’ either because at one point in my life, I was a total fool and didn’t understand how my own privileges added to the tremendous amount of bigotry that black women and girls already have to deal with just for existing.

Being raised by two queer, black women taught me some hard truths that I had to reflect on and I had to come to terms with the reality that black women do constantly sacrifice for the betterment of all other folks, except themselves. Then, the moment they do stand up for themselves and speak out about the terrible things they’ve experienced, y’all don’t know how else to take it except defensively and immediately try to silence them. That just proves that while y’all love the idea of strong black women, y’all don’t actually love strong black women at all.

Black women have started and supported so many human rights movements throughout history and that type of bravery and compassion should be getting rewarded, not stolen and re-packaged by people who couldn’t even begin to understand what black women go through.

We all need to do better about the way we talk about and around black women, especially those of us who are black ourselves. We need to stop meeting black women’s cries for understanding and compassion and justice with cowardly ideas like ‘having an attitude’ or ‘having a mean tone’ or some other micro-aggression y’all don’t wanna let go of because of your pride.

Y’all are quick to point out their flaws when they bring up valid criticism of society and the way they’re being treated, yet y’all can’t even keep that same energy to do any self-reflection to consider that you may have some toxicity within you that you need to grow out of. It’s pathetic. PATHETIC!!!

Black women are not our moms, maids, therapists, sex objects, or any other ‘occupation’ that y’all want them to be for y’all. Black women are human beings, with just as much diversity and complexity among them as there is in the rest of the world.

And before some clown tries to add to this: NO, this post ain’t about anyone else EXCEPT black women because black women always deal with the worst of the worst from white folks, non-black people of color, and EVEN black men and STILL choose to continue to support those who need it. So, don’t try to derail this post just because you wanna feel important. Make your own post, if that’s the case.

And yes, black trans women are inherently included in any post I make about women because they are women. Die mad about it!

[sepublic]

Luz’s Self-Punishment?

           I actually think that like Lilith, Luz has a tendency to overtly punish herself for mistakes, she’s just… WAY more productive and efficient about actually fixing the situation, even at the cost of herself- Maybe even especially because of it!

           I say this because Luz makes the understandable mistake of crashing Owlbert, who was fully willing to indulge in Luz’s antics during Escape of the Palisman by taking her to the Glandus game. And obviously Owlbert is also justifiably hurt and maybe reluctant to reconnect with Luz… But it’s also worth observing that Luz is clearly beating herself up mentally over her mistake, she doesn’t hesitate to throw herself into the Bat Queen’s trials and even risk her life to rescue Owlbert!

           And, obviously- Luz is a very impulsive kind of person in general, incredibly brave, and would do anything for her friends. But I am concerned about Luz possibly beginning to see herself as like, a burden, or even someone who keeps hurting people even when she tries to help them… Especially when they tell her not to. Take for example, Luz turning Willow’s memory photo back up because she still wants her and Amity to reconnect… and it leads to Willow’s mind almost being destroyed. Luz’s efforts DO pay off in the end; However, Wing it like Witches has Luz recklessly challenge Boscha to a Grudgby game, over Willow’s honor.

           That’s fine as it is… But the problem is that Luz says that Willow is challenging Boscha. And I think this is a scenario where Luz legit thought she was doing what was best for Willow, that this was of course what Willow wanted… And while she was justifiably mad, I think Luz may have projected some of her own anger onto Willow by assuming she felt the same way, while also seeing an opportunity to play out her Azura fantasies through a Grudgby match; Hence why moments before Boscha drops trash on Willow, Luz looks VERY intrigued by Amity pointing out that Boscha only listens to Grudgby… Amity wasn’t at all suggesting Luz challenge her to a game, but Luz is remembering that Azura movie she brought up earlier, and getting ideas.

           So when Luz does recognize she made a mistake… I think she’s just a tad too eager to both take on ALL of the responsibility and repercussions, but also doesn’t do too much to vouch for herself when Boscha starts attacking. Now, you could argue that this is just Luz being kind of impulsive and thoughtless, not thinking of herself in a genuinely forgetful way, while also not anticipating Boscha to be THAT intense; But I have to wonder if Luz will sometimes shoulder the blame and burden of her mistakes too much. Just as Amity did when she cut herself off from Grudgby after accidentally injuring Boscha and Amelia that one time… And it’s interesting that Luz is inspired to take all of the blame after Amity recounts this story; And it’s Amity who realizes what’s up and thus goes out to get Willow’s help.

           Or, take Witches before Wizards! Luz enrolls in Adegast’s Quest, wanting to play out her fantasies, and does so on her own, on her own terms… Ideally only Luz should be in danger, if any comes around; And yet Eda and King still get involved to rescue Luz, and Luz finds out that her getting into this quest was what endangered them in the first place, because she was meant to be a hostage! Then we have Agony of a Witch; Eda tells Luz to just mind her own business and be happy, and not concern herself. But not only is Luz legit scared for Eda… She also expresses a desire to ‘pay her back’, as if Luz thinks the happiness she provides isn’t enough. As if Luz feels she’s inadequate, perhaps a burden…

           Which, matches with Luz being the child of Camila, who’s single and occupied with the VERY time-intensive job of being a nurse, and is already stressful as-is. I think Luz quietly taught herself to not try to be a burdern on Camila… Or at least thought that was what she became, when her mother agreed to send her to Reality Camp. This is her mom, who objectively loves her and is supposed to, and likely was the only one supporting and indulging in Luz’s interests for her entire life. So when Luz DOES meet Eda and King, Willow and Gus, or Amity… While she’s still very much herself in a lot of ways, an utter weirdo and a cryptid;

           I AM concerned that Luz is going to be too conscious of the impact she has on others, a bit too much. She went ahead with trying to help Eda’s curse despite Eda telling her not to… And it led to a disastrous heist at Belos’ castle that led to Eda being captured and losing all of her magic, permanently. Luz let Willow and Gus help her in the heist, and they got in trouble as well… And I’m afraid that maybe Luz is beginning to think that any time she tries to help others, she just makes things worse. And/or, Luz feels like she should do things on her own so her loved ones don’t get involved… But even when she tries to in Witches before Wizards, her actions directly lead to Eda and King being captured.

           Am I saying Luz is a bad or thoughtless person? Absolutely not- She can be a bonehead sometimes, but all of her mistakes are completely understandable. Luz needs to remember that a lot of her friends chose to get involved for Luz’s sake, they mutually care for her and vice-versa, she is by no means a burden and her own presence lights up their world. Eda reassures Luz that she chose to sacrifice herself for the girl, and hopefully the advice will stick there… But even so, Luz is a fourteen-year-old who was ostracized for a LONG time.

          She’s no doubt been conditioned to think of herself as a screw-up who hurts people… Hurts her mother by lying to her, Luz should’ve been honest when she had the chance; Hurting Amity by accidentally reading her diary when she just wanted to be friends… Making a statement that Viney and the others justifiably take out-of-context, but Luz interprets this not just as Viney and the others being valid in their initial fears; She thinks it means she HAS done wrong and hurt people, and so she accepts Viney’s rejection without a second thought and really lets it get to her.

           I’ve seen others speculate that Luz has Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and I really think this could be the case? Luz normally is herself, but lately, when things suggest otherwise… Luz starts to doubt her world-views, at least in application to herself- For others she’ll always vouch for them! But it takes a lot to love oneself… Take for example, Luz clearly berating herself for being too forward with Amity when she tries to initially approach her in Lost in Language, perhaps acting on some confirmation bias; That if Luz fails, then clearly this means she shouldn’t have tried in the first place, and of course nobody is interested in her.

           Luz knows to unapologetically be herself and encourage others to, and then fully support them… But does she expect a lot of support herself? Is Luz resigned to the idea of being rejected either way, so she just goes ahead with who she is… And just waits to see what people DO respond to her, without getting her hopes up? Luz gives it a try, see what happens- And if they don’t respond, alas. If they DO respond… New friend, and Luz can get a bit carried away. Like her plan for Willow to sneak into Hexside and get a better grade… Luz was also legitimately altruistic, but I certainly hope that Luz doesn’t blame herself for getting Willow into trouble, especially since Willow ended up in the Plant Track because of her. Like Eda, Luz has accepted being herself unapologetically and not needing the approval of others- But Eda was also clearly lonely for a while too, having to wait for fellow weirdoes to resonate with her and reciprocate. For Luz, I imagine it’s a very different scenario with just passively waiting for someone to respond to your open invitations about who you are…

           …VS actively WANTING someone, wanting them to accept you, etc., hence Luz’s apprehension about confessing to Camila. And maybe this could lead to some dynamic between her and Amity, where Luz doesn’t know how to handle actively desiring a connection with a specific person that may or may not fully reciprocate her… Luz loves intensely and affectionately and she focuses on making others happy so they don’t suffer like her; Is there the fear, the resignation that they won’t return the same? And that’s okay because they’re already doing so much for Luz just by tolerating a screw-up like her and her mistakes…? Coupled with how stressed Amity is and the abuse she has, and Luz might be afraid that Amity won’t ever feel the same way- So Luz should just be content with what she has, and then not move forward. Don’t get her hopes up.

           Believe me, I don’t find this at all contradictory with my past takes of Luz as being someone who constantly asks why can’t she have it all, both for herself and others… I think she’s rightfully defiant and demanding in that self-respecting way, thanks to Eda especially. But when it comes to emotional love and whatnot, that kind of intimate connection, unconditional kindness and favors… I’m not sure if Luz ever expects that from others, nor does she ask it of them? It’s of course because she’s so kind and selfless towards people, her own demands and challenges towards the system are also into consideration of others just like her.

           But maybe it’s because Luz is partially demanding because she sees it as helping others in a roundabout way… Or she’s only ever like this with strangers, with people she expects to already not think much of her, to not accept her, so Luz doesn’t have too much qualms with trying to be all perfect and subdued for them… But for people who DO accept Luz, it suddenly feels like a lot of pressure and responsibility, because she’s not used to this. She doesn’t want to screw it up, making friends who like her, because this is so rare, and it requires a lot more mutual reciprocation from others, VS an attempt to change the system or fight against the law, cause a prison break, etc.

           Luz seems like the person who can handle learning a lost form of magic, fighting monstrous demons, all that jazz incredibly well; But when it comes to navigating actual emotional relationships, Luz has a lot more difficult navigating. Sometimes she copes with her fear by just going for it, sometimes she forgets about it entirely in her eager excitement, getting her hopes up… But in general, I don’t want Luz to think that she actively causes trouble for people, and that she hasn’t done enough to deserve the people who actively choose to be around her; Much less Luz’s potential apprehension about not being enough for someone she ‘forces’ interaction with because she wants to be with them, like Amity. I think Luz’s growing mistakes and incidents could contribute towards a growing sense of being a screw-up in her own way… And when you’re an insecure teen, you tend to forget about and disregard your good actions in hindsight, even as you’re performing them.

           While Luz’s efforts do sometimes pay off, it’s usually after something goes wrong and everyone grapples with the situation. Sometimes Luz has to wonder if it could’ve been done in a much better way, and if her friends had to do too much heavy-lifting to make things right, to pick up after Luz’s mess- Like maybe her friends could’ve just fixed this on their own, it was only Luz getting into a mess that made them get involved sooner rather than later. The thing about Luz’s mistakes is that a lot of them are understandable, or while bad, nevertheless escalate past a point she could’ve feasibly expected, so maybe she’s being too hard on herself for the consequences.

           I think Lilith is someone who also has an issue with this, as does King- And both have learned to confront that they cause messes that they didn’t intend, but still contributed towards. Of course, King is way more adjusted than Lily… And I can see Lilith and Luz potentially bonding over that feeling of being ‘cursed’, like any attempt to make things better for others just causes problems… And they’re already so much of a liability and a burden as-is. Even when they do things alone and for themselves, issues for their loved ones can develop as a direct result… So maybe they should just cut ties? To protect the ones they care for… Besides, their loved ones probably don’t need them THAT much anyway, their friends are too cool for losers like them.

           I kind of feel like Luz and Lilith could have a potential issue of really undervaluing themselves and their achievements… That when they do bring them up, they don’t really mean it and it’s just a shallow attempt at making themselves feel good- But deep inside they know it means nothing. Lilith knows that being Head Witch of the Emperor’s Coven means nothing, not without Eda’s approval, and especially because she got it as a hand-me-down from Eda… But she still boasts of it anyway to invite other witches, and to lie to herself. If Eda contrasts with Lilith and can teach her sister to engage in some self-love… Then consider that Eda does the same to Luz; And what this could say about Luz and Lilith as two people on the receiving end of Eda’s support, who have a lot to learn and benefit from Eda and already have.

           Maybe Luz expects herself to do a lot, because she recognizes that she IS a lot… So she tries to take advantage of this, and tries to compensate for past failures, by doing something good with it. This isn’t to say that Luz never acts in her self-interest, ever, because she’s still a fourteen-year-old kid with a loving and supportive family, who’s allowed to have fun and has still had genuinely positive lessons and growth in the Boiling Isles… Any issues she suffers in the Boiling Isles, if Luz gets them, would’ve been less worse than that of the Reality Camp, minus the physical harm bit of course. But that doesn’t seem to register to Luz that much because that’s not what really matters to her in the end.

           Regardless, I’m afraid that Luz is going to pick up on the idea that each time she innocently tries to go forward and do something for herself and/or others, without their permission… It just makes things worse, forcing others to not only fix the problem, but also make things better so Luz doesn’t mess up again. In other words, Luz probably thinks her friends are doing all of the actual work in making things better, which could play into how Luz thinks the world of her loved ones and is incredibly supportive of them. Perhaps she thinks they’re way cooler than her, too cool for Luz… It’s not too much of a prevalent issue NOW, I think, but it could be in the future. Luz could begin to wean herself off from doing what she enjoys, just for herself, because she thinks she’s a screw-up…

          And then her friends have to reassure her otherwise about everything, that even if Luz seems to be a disaster-magnet, it’s part of the charm and not her fault, she shouldn’t hold herself back! If anything, Luz should keep weaponizing her chaotic energy, making the most of what she has as always! Considering the school system that Luz grew up in, and how she’s ND-coded… I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of schools really punished her and forced Luz to dwell a lot on her mistakes, without much room for productively fixing things; It’s a common neurodivergent experience to be unproductively yelled at for messing up, and then to internalize that. And it could contribute to Luz focusing on what she’s done wrong over what she’s done right. If Amity is learning to love herself, then… I sincerely hope Luz isn’t contrasting, by learning to doubt herself. Especially since the Boiling Isles has been almost objectively superior to the Reality Camp; Because there, she would’ve REALLY internalized even worse lessons, and not gained any of the good ones.

           Now, maybe I’m looking too deep into it; But hey, what if I’m right? At the very least this provides food for thought… You may as well take a chance, because what do you have to lose if you’re wrong- Nothing! But if you don’t try, you could lose the opportunity to really think and enjoy and anticipate something… And be right, or wrong- Either way you had fun!

[conaionaru]

Honor and Blood (Ivar the Boneless)

I'll run to you

Synopsis: 

Warnings: Ivar, Silas, toxic family, mentions of murder, angst

Tags:

@xbellaxcarolinax​ @shannygoatgruff​ @didiintheblog​ @lol-haha-joke​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @heavenly1927​ @queenbeeta​ @astridbaby​ @chynagirl13​ @thereareendlessopportunities

P.S. I did some edits of Ivar x Vanya. And I found the perfect song for them (where the title of this chapter comes from) and made an edit of that as well.

I don’t own the gifs. Also, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. If you want to be tagged please write me<3

When Vanya was a little girl, she dreamt of marrying a noble Prince and becoming his Queen. She imagined a huge castle and her father visiting her as often as possible. Even her mother was proud of her for being a good Christian wife.

Never did she dream of being here, drifting on a boat with a sore shoulder, woozy from mead with her sleeping heathen son in her lap. Why must dreams always be so wrong?

But truth to be told, she loved the life she lived now. Well, not right now, but the last year. Her experience in Kattegat was perfect. Despite his short temper, Ivar was a good man. He loved her unconditionally, protected her, and listened to her. His brothers were kind to her, and she trusted them with her life. Even Sigurd, with who she sometimes butted heads. She had a friend and found a mother in Aslaug and Helga.

She missed them so much. Two days on the water made her want to cry. She cried nowadays more than the babe she gave birth to. He seemed content; he loved watching the ravens fly over their heads and played with her hair when she held him.

How funny it seemed to her that she loved sailing when she came here. Now she yearned to stand on dry land and sleep in a warm bed wrapped in Ivar's arms.

Whenever Vanya didn't think of home, she thought of Silas, especially what she would do to him. She had been meek and peaceful for so long, forgave him everything he did to her. But that changes now; he didn't just hurt her or degrade her. He tried to kill her and her son. His knights murdered an innocent woman. He would pay the blood price for it.  

The raven made a sound and left their usual circling spot. Vanya watched them go and perked up. Land. It meant land was near. She put her child into the nets and rowed towards the direction the birds flew.

Her shoulder screamed in protest, and she felt it reopen as her dress got wet with blood. She ignored it and kept on rowing. She was out of food, and the mead wouldn't last more than two cups. They needed to find water and food.

Ivar laid in his bed, sweat dripping from his forehead, the whites of his eyes blue. His legs hurt too much today; he had to stay in bed but couldn't sleep at all. All he could do was lay there in pain and think of all the ways he will torture Vanya's attacker. He prayed to the Gods that she was still alive. Two days ago, she went missing, and everyone was losing hope.

Aslaug had no visions, and Hoenir was no help. He dragged himself to the Seer yesterday, but all he got was vague answers. "You know the answer, Boneless." He knew Vanya had grown stronger and that she promised to protect their son. But so did he and now, he doesn't know where she is or if she is even alive.

He promised her that no one would ever lay a hand on her again, and he failed. If he ever saw her again, he wouldn't let her out of his sight.

"Drink the tea, Ivar. It will help." Ubbe ordered, walking into the room, looking at the untouched cup on Ivar's bedside. Right next to the tea was the carved figure of Fenrir and Vanya's serpent necklace.

"Did you find her? Anything?" Ivar begged as his brother wiped his damp forehead.

Ubbe shook his head and put the rag down. "A fisherman's boat went missing two days ago. Mother thinks Vanya might have taken it. So we sent some boats out to look for her. But if she drifted out into the open..."

He didn't have to finish the sentence for Ivar to understand. If Vanya drifted away, the storm that was gathering would sink her ship and drown them both. Hoenir saw her drown, what if he was right and she would? No amount of sacrifices would bring her back then. He would be alone again, with Aslaug the only one to love him. Ubbe might love him, but there are moments he must wish his brother wasn't alive.

The times he had to carry him or stay at home because Ivar was in pain. Having to check on his legs and eyes all the time. In everybody's eyes, Ivar was a burden; he was aware of it. Vanya was the only one who didn't care or look down on him. In her eyes, Ivar was perfect despite his shortcomings. Over time, she grew used to his temper and pain. She comforted him, held him, whispered sweet words into his ear as he fell asleep.

She loved him, and he left her alone after she bore him a son. He didn't even get to hold him. His perfect son, who had his eyes and hair. His healthy boy. Ivar hated himself, but he hated the world more.

"How long we have to keep looking? It's been two days now. The corpses must show up soon." Pæga complained, pulling off his boots and sinking his feet into the bowl with water.

Silas glared at the knight and stabbed his dagger into the table. "Boats were sent out to search for her, a fisherman's boat went missing, they think Vanya is in it. If she survived and they find her... My sister saw your faces. She isn't so stupid to fall for a few farmers in your clothes. If you get caught, then it means my death as well." He spat at his knights while Stithulf sat in the corner, sharpening his sword.

"I doubt she is alive. She doesn't strike me as a survivor. Vanya was sent here to wither and die, to brake and suffer. She might have charmed her way around Kattegat. But smiles and gifts aren't going to save her from death. She was hit with an arrow; I saw her sink. All they will find is a dead child in the boat. Vanya is dead, and you are the only possible ruler of Slegia."

Stithulf stood up after his rant and walked towards his King. He lifted the crown from the table and put it on his head. "A crown for a King. The one true King. Vanya will never wear this thing; neither will her children; I made sure of it."

Silas nodded and proudly pushed his chest out. The knight was right; he was the King, and Vanya was dead. First, he dealt with her; next is his mother and her new husband. Then his uncle and Wrosan will be his. The victory was certain.

Vanya hauled herself from the boat and pulled it on land so the tide wouldn't wash it away. Her son stirred in his little bed while Vanya collapsed on the ground, exhausted.

The ravens left them alone, and she had no idea where to go. This part of Kattegat was unfamiliar to her. So as she laid there, she prayed to the Gods to show her a way to get home. But no sign or help came.

So she wrapped herself tighter in her cloak and took her child with her heading west, the other way than she drifted off. She needed to get to a familiar location: the hunting hut, Floki's house, or even the forest before Kattegat.

Vanya walked with her son in her arms, without a pause. She managed to find some berries Helga taught her were edible and a stream of water. After she ate, she fed her son and carried on in her way. Her feet were sore, and her son was becoming too heavy for her weak arms.

Other than wilderness and silence, there was nothing around her. Every tree looked the same, and the shade they gave her made navigating with the sun harder. She shivered as the winds grew colder.

When her son whimpered in her arms, she froze. Her being cold wasn't that bad. But to him, it meant death. So she carefully put him on the ground and took off her cloak and swaddled him in it. Her thinned down frame shook in the cold winds while her son burrowed himself into the new warmth.

Vanya looked down at his little content face and smiled. All of this hardship was worth it if he was healthy and alive. This life she created and carries inside her, that she spent hours bringing into the world. It meant everything to her; it hurt to admit that her mother was right. A mother has no choice but to love her child; only a monster would ignore her own blood like that. But the thing Siflaed was wrong about was that Vanya did love Ivar. Despite everything she heard about him and his people, she grew to love him no, her people. Kattegat was her home now; she was born to live here; she knew it.

And when she returned, she would never leave again; she would remain and raise her son. She would see all the other sons of Ragnar start their own families and see Aslaug grow old. Hold Bjorn's adorable children and gossip with Torvi and Brynja. She would sit on the bench in front of the Great Hall, sewing a dress together, with Ivar by her side with their son in his arms. Vanya would come to visit Helga and Floki more often like she promised she would and try to make Margrethe less afraid of Ivar. He wasn't the monster; everyone made him out to be; her husband had a lonely heart with high walls made of anger.

She remembered the story of Eve and the Devil. The way the serpent tricked Eve into eating the apple and be banished from Eden for it. She also remembered the story one of Siflaed's lovers told her of the Greek goddess Persephone and the pomegranate. How Hades offered the fruit to her, and she stayed with him as his wife.

But Vanya didn't feel like Eve; her husband was no evil serpent leading her on. He was Hades, the god known for his dark demeanor, but a good husband. She wasn't a meek Christian like Eve, Vanya was Persephone. A good heart with love for nature, married to a man of shadowed behavior who everyone feared. But they both held darkness and light, she wasn't just a maiden who plucked blooming flowers, and Ivar wasn't just an angry heathen with a quick tongue. Her tongue was as equally sharp as his and his love as real as hers. They were King and Queen of the Underworld, Prince and Princess of Kattegat.

With determination, Vanya strode on, thankful for the shoes she managed to put on before her escape. Walking barefoot on top of lightly dressed would have meant her death. She could hear an owl hoot somewhere behind her until it flew past her and landed on a branch. "Frigga." She whispered as the bird stared at her with yellow eyes, it's white feathers standing out in the treetops.

"Have you come to take me home, All-Mother? Odin's ravens looked over my son and me on the boat, and now you have come for us. Goddess of mothers and queens, of war, wisdom, and strategy. I beg you, take me home." She begged the hooting white owl that took off and landed on another branch, waiting for the ginger to follow.

Vanya chuckled at the sight and followed after the frequently stopping bird. "This better be Frigga, or I will die. That's your descendant on the line, Odin. Don't let me die, All-father, All-mother."

Everyone stood gathered in the Great Hall in the evening, waiting for what Aslaug had to say. Silas stood in the corner of the room, surrounded by his armed knights. "My brother Ivar was graced with a son three days ago. But his son and wife were ripped away by a murderer, who sneaked into their hut and killed the wet nurse." Bjorn announced watching the faces of everyone present.

Floki and Helga leaned a support beam, both looking grim, while the boatbuilder glared at Silas. Ivar sat next to his mother, with Hoenir standing behind them. Brynja and Margrethe watched the whole ordeal from their place with the other servants and slaves. The other brothers stood behind Bjorn, who towered over the room, reminding all of their father. He carried the same authority even without a crown on his head.

Aslaug lifted her head higher and wrapped his fingers around the armrests of her throne. "The one responsible will answer to the Gods. The more blood they have on their hands, the more dire their demise will be. This person is charged with treason and murder..."

Ubbe left his mother's side while she talked and walked with Floki and Hoenir towards the exits. They barricaded the door while no one was watching. The only way to open them now would be from the outside, where Floki stood watch.

"The return of my daughter in law Vanya is becoming unlikely. A funeral will be held soon to honor her death, Floki has agreed to build a boat to bury her. If she is not found until the ship is done, we shall burn some of her possessions instead."

Stithulf observed the heathens around him; they seemed on edge, ready to pounce at any moment. Of course, Silas was obvious to all this, too distracted by the Queen's speech to notice.

"But, we do know the one responsible for this tragedy." The knights head snapped towards the throne. Everyone grew silent, waiting for Aslaug to continue. "We questioned people and gathered that there is only one possible suspect behind all this. Someone willing to murder a mother and child int heir sleep."

The room was tense as if a war would erupt at any moment. Ivar clenched his jaw before smirking at Silas, who froze in his spot.

"How do you answer these charges... King Silas?" The Saxon's breaths hitched in fear as the knights wrapped their hands around their swords' handles, ready to draw them and kill everyone. But they were outnumbered and locked in with bloodthirsty heathens.

"This is outrageous! I loved my sister. And you are claiming me as a murderer only because you failed to find the real one. My sister is dead because of you!" He roared at the remaining sons of Ragnar and his wife. But they didn't even flinch all the Queen did, was push her shoulders back and raise an eyebrow at his outburst.

"So you claim, but there is no proof. All we saw were spiteful words and tantrums. You bribed farmers to change clothes with your knights; then, you ordered them to kill Vanya and her son. But Margrethe remembered their faces, and it wasn't the faces we see here today." Sigurd called out as the said thrall covered behind Brynja. She confessed this to Sigurd last night, and since then, the Ragnarsson and Aslaug had been plotting.

Silas frowned and shook his head, chuckling. "And do tell me... What would my reason be? Sibling rivalry? Don't be ridiculous. I may not have been overly fond of my sister, I admit. But I wouldn't murder her. And the baby? Son or not, I hold no ill will against either."

"Vanya and her son possessed a threat to you, childless, unfit to rule. But Vanya is loved here, and I am sure she was the same in England. You ordered her death and will die for it. An eye for an eye."  Bjorn threatened as Silas gulped and gave an uneasy smile.

He shrugged and spread his arms wide to show he was unarmed and possessed no threat to them, other than his knights who drew their swords. "Let's spare ourselves these dramatics. Vanya is dead, and I am not the culprit. Let's not have a ghost of a disobedient whore get between our agreement."

Ivar slammed his fist against his chair and glared at the daring King. He would have leaped out of his seat and strangled the bastard if it wasn't for Bjorn, Sigurd, and Hvitserk holding him back. "How dare you?" The Ragnarsson roared his nostrils flaring in rage.

Silas pointed to Ivar's legs with a smirk.  "Your... Affliction. Do you really think the child was yours? My darling sister would do anything to please you as a proper wife should. And giving you a child, even one that's not truly yours. It would please you. Wouldn't it? To think that you are a real man, able to produce an heir." The blonde Christian taunted as everyone glared at what he was suggesting.

"I did you a favor before things escalated, and you would believe other idiotic lies my sister would have fed you to keep herself alive a little longer. I saved you from further embarrassment and grief. Vanya is dead, and there is nothing to change that." He sounded at peace with his oncoming death. Silas knows he and his knights will die, but might as well anger the heathens some more. Die a horrid death and go down in history as a martyr: Saint Silas, The tortured King.

Stithulf, on the other hand, looked distressed, all the whispering he did, all for nothing. All his hard work wasted on a foolish king with a big ego and greedy heart. His chance at fame and ruling, all gone, because of a ginger Princess who just couldn't stay meek and timid like she was meant to be.

The sound of something shattering broke the tense atmosphere. Everyone looked st the redheaded servant that let her jug of water, fall to the floor. "Vanya." She whispered, her face pale and eyes wide. They followed her gaze and gazed at the open door in shock.

"Why do you think I am dead, Brother?" Vanya's voice rasped out as the ginger leaned against the door frame, a shield pierced with many arrows in one hand. Her hair was frizzy, her skin pale, and her eyes sunken in. Her white dress was stained with bloody some on her shoulder, the rest on her lap, from childbirth.

She took a shaky step forward and shifted her arms slightly. Helga runs to her side, and Floki stood behind her in case she fell. The Ragnarssons run to her while Ivar stared at her in shock. Standing up, Aslaug observed the presumably dead Princess in wonder.

"Helga, you need to look after my son. I tried to keep him warm and fed. Please check him."  Vanya pleaded with the blonde woman, letting the shield riddled with arrows fall to the floor. Hidden behind the protection was a bundle of furs and cloak, squirming at the new warm place they entered.

Helga shakily took the babe out of Vanya's trembling embrace to see the child alive and well despite the ordeals he went through. She ushered the child away as Ubbe reached his sister in law, laying a hand on her shoulder to steady her. But she shook it off and slowly advanced towards Silas, who took a few steps towards her as well.

"How? You should be dead." He whispered, still in denial that his plan didn't work.

"I forgave you so much, Silas. So many wounds. I forgave them all, ignored them, and asked my family to ignore them as well. But that ends today. You killed an innocent woman! You tried to kill my son!"

Silas shook his head, refusing to admit defeat against his little sister. His foolish sister, who was born weak and was meant to abide by him. The one who defied him and survived. "You won't hurt me, Vanya. You are weak. Remember your place, and we can forget this. Beg me for forgiveness, and I shall grant it to you. All I want in return is save passage back home. Kill my knights instead."

"You think I will beg? I did nothing to ask forgiveness for! You are a monster, Silas. Just like father and mother said you were. Do you think I will cower before you? Just because you are my brother?" She seethed stalking towards him as Silas drew a dagger and pointed it at her, shaking, fearful of this side of Vanya.

The ginger keeps on advancing, not caring for the weapon pointed at her. The adrenaline running through her veins made her forget what fear feels like at all. All she could see was the man who made her life a living hell and tried to kill her son! "Blessed are the meek, Vanya." He reminded her, hoping that the sentence that their mother used to drill into her head would calm her down, but his sister didn't even blink.

"Yes. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. For theirs is the kingdom of heaven." She spat back a part of the Beatitudes, laughing at his poor attempt at containing her rage. "Do you think the words of Jesus or God will stop me? Do you honestly believe that you will be forgiven? I am past forgiveness and meekness! I want you to pay for my and my son's suffering in blood!"

Silas took a few steps back, his hand shaking like crazy. Vanya was nearly in front of him now, her hand grasped his dagger around the sharp edge, no fear in her eyes. They looked like frozen over fjord's, determination and anger swirling around. She tugged his knife from his grasp and threw it behind her, surprising everyone. Blood dripped from the cut on her palm, trailing down her slender fingers and hitting the floorboards.

"I would burn cities and kingdom's to the ground and make him King of the Ashes if they dared to threaten him!" She screamed at her brother, getting into his face and glaring up at him as he shook in his spot.

"Vanya, please, have mercy. I am your brother. I did it to protect my claim. You must understand. I was born to rule; I deserve to sit on the throne for eternity. Please have mercy." The two siblings stared into each other's eyes, the frozen fjords meeting the tearful sky.

She softly shook her head and softened her angry expression. Ivar crawled towards them, observing the blood-stained dagger and her bleeding hand clenched by her side. "Mercy is a Christian value, and I am not Christian anymore." She hissed backhanding him with her bleeding left hand so hard that he hit the floor.

Silas cradled his aching cheek and stared at Vanya in shock. The ginger glared down at him with disdain obvious in her expression. "That's why I wish you the most painful death instead." She spat at him before two men dragged him away as he cried and cursed at them, begging them to let him go as other Vikings killed his knights when they dared to attack.

Ivar crawled to Vanya's left and took her cold bleeding hand in his, startling her from her trance. She looked down at him tenderly as he looked over her tired body. "I missed you." He whispered, staring up at her with adoration as she returned his tender look, softly smiling.

"I missed you too." Ubbe supported her swaying frame and carried her towards the awaiting healers, thanking the gods for her return, alive and well. Ivar watched her get carried away and spared a glance at the dead bodies of the Saxon knights before he followed his brother and wife.

[hesesols]

For Queen & Country

Day 17 of Ichiruki month 2020: Coronation

Summary: She knows her place. She is merely a pretender to a princess and marries the King in the former’s stead.

Rating: M

FF/ao3

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"Father, what is marriage?"

Byakuya Kuchiki, Lord of Western Rukongai – father, duke, kingmaker; stilled.

Bright violet eyes stared back defiantly, wisps of midnight black hair teasing her nape; taking after his late wife in both temperament and appearance. She was tiny- barely reaching his knees and he easily picked her up, setting her on his lap.

"It is what happens when two people decide to live together forever," he told her.

Here, the child frowned. Forever, sounded far too long. A quarter-hour for lessons and a day for songs under the sun- those were reasonable terms of engagement. She couldn't even sit still for her lessons much less consider something that would mean longer than a day.

Still, she thought of the potential advantages to the arrangement. Miss Hinamori gave her sweets if she behaved during her lessons and sat very very still. Some days, when she was especially good, she would ask Miss Hinamori for chocolate.

The governess had laughed and called her a word- shrewd, she wondered what it meant.

Her eyes narrowed, if she could endure her lessons for sweets and desserts- surely that must mean that there are greater things to be gained from a long-suffering pact as this?

Folding her arms very solemnly, she asked her father to name the price.

"What would it mean for me?"

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A bride- fine gossamer silk, bolts of colourful fabrics woven of every colour known to man, bone-china, her mother's pearls; blessed, cherished, happy, loved.

A wife- bearer of the world, the silent matriarch, keeper of secrets, manageress of a household and an empty bed; tried, dignified, wise, experienced.

.

But those are visions of a man old and weary of the world, she will learn of the Truth at her own pace. He gave her something less tangible- facts.

"When you marry, you take on your husband's last name and share your fortunes with him, take care of him, obey him, give him ch-"

He caught himself just in time. As fascinating as the conversation was, Lord Byakuya did not fancy a conversation with his daughter on the matter of baby-making and answer her queries on how children were made.

That would come much later and at the hands of an experienced governess, preferably.

He cleared his throat loudly and looked at his daughter who had the most thoughtful expression set on her face while chewing on the ends of her braids. The cogs in her brain turned.

.

Everything?

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Her young mind was devastated- that meant her favourite cakes and sweets, even that sweet little rabbit that she had rescued, half of everything she had was some horrible boy's future property?

Boys- like Renji, were horrible and mean, they had no appreciation for fine, pretty things like her drawings, they liked to tug her hair and call her names. They were rough, rude and were more wont to destroy than build.

Her dolls- china, and straw-made, still bore scars as a testament to their ill-treatment at the hands of her unruly siblings.

"Must I?"

"Are you a good person?"

She nodded vigorously. She obeyed Miss Hinamori instructions and did what she was told (most of the time). There was also the time when she saved a rabbit from the cook's horrible dogs. The rabbit- she called him Chappy, now lives in a pretty cage and was served fresh carrots daily. Miss Hinamori had praised her and called her kind, so she must be.

"Then you should," he said.

The raven-haired noblewoman in-the-making made a face.

"That is absolutely mad, Father," she tugged on his sleeves and fixed him with her strongest gaze, "why would people do such things?"

"For duty, honour and sometimes, love, my dearest."

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The girl frowned- 'duty' and 'honour'. She held both words in contempt with a vengeance unbecoming for a Lady of noble status, for it was used with relish when seven year-olds were made to do what they were told.

It was her 'duty' as a future Lady of noble birth to be in bed early, to share her toys with her visiting cousins, to find dancing and other leisurely activities like playing the piano-forte as natural as breathing. And much to her dismay, she would find that as the years passed, the list too grew. Now, her 'duties' even included making 'scintillating' and 'polite' conversations with even the rudest of her associates. The words did not gain any favour at the hands of her father- who was a far more eloquent speaker than Miss Hinamori and infinitely more superior in his knowledge of the world.

Rukia was made to feel stupid and insignificant when they come out to play.

Renji says 'love' with a tone that sealed it as the most despicable thing under the sky and she supposed she would agree with her adopted brother for once- it must be a dangerous and strange thing indeed for some people to willingly share half of everything they owned with another person, especially with icky boys and their grubby hands.

Furthermore, she was reminded of the cloying sweet smell of perfume that her older cousin favoured upon the arrival of her betrothed. The older girl with her sudden airy, breathless tone of voice and her betrothed with the oddest smile on his face that frankly made him look foolish. Miss Hinamori had claimed that it was because it was a love match between the young couple and it did not happen often in people of her circle.

She wrinkled her nose and prayed that she never succumbed to it.

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"Father," she began solemnly, "I do not think I shall ever marry."

The normally stoic noble smiled at her. Children have such amusing ideas and thoughts. Keeping his face straight and trying very hard to remain stern, he told her.

"We shall see."'

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.

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Inevitably, she learns.

Love is tradition- Kuchiki Manor in all its daunting glory and untouched forest, family- her brothers, insufferably rude as they may be, warmth- her father, in his infinite wisdom and sagacity, companionship- Miss Hinamori, her surrogate mother and confidante.

It is like wine- aging well with the passage of time and a fruit of labour known only to those who have endured and triumphed together and then content in the arms of each other, have stayed. It is tender- kisses on the cheeks, bear hugs and booming laughter, and it grows out of the fondness of one's heart and intimate wishes.

Marriage on the other hand is sudden and tempestuous. It is the unsuspecting storm that came with all the fury known to God, the end to unspoken promises and ill-kept vows.

It comes when a Royal Princess flees the machinations of her own Father. It comes at the bidding of a Mad King with even wilder ambitions- thinly-veiled threats and open affronts. It comes with her dowry-horses laden with riches, ballads and tapestries, rolls of expensive furs and leather skins, a procession of servants, craftsmen, artisan- bearing coat of arms, her motherland's pride, the history and culture of her people- an entourage befitting of a Royal Princess; and ends with her hand offered on a golden pedestal.

It is duty and honour, the sealing of two nations bound now in kinship- it is momentous, sweeping and public.

It is anything but her wedding.

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She knows her place. She is merely a pretender to a princess and marries the King in the former's stead.

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.

She stood tall as she said goodbye to all that she has ever known to be home. Her brothers said very little and too much all at once. Her sacrifice burnt them and that mark singed the family tapestry. Hath they hung their heads down for shame or sorrow?

Her father appeared- stoic and wordlessly pressed her mother's pearls into her hands.

.

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She ascends the steps to the throne room looming ahead- a sea of unknown faces and stunned silence. She is veiled and shrouded in white- made to stand next to a man she was to call husband for all eternity and become mother to his nation. She hears the words and murmurs of the clergyman, gives her consent when the holy man bids her to, bows when it is expected of her- but processes very little.

Her husband-she stares at the brown-eyed stranger with wild hair and watches with muted horror as he slides the golden band onto her finger.

.

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"Play the game as you were taught to," he told her. Scarcely daring to meet her eyes, he gripped her hands tight. Yes of course, the charade must hold- should the truth be made public, the consequences will be severe. He laid another necklace- heavier in weight and heritage; around her neck and clasped it shut.

It felt like a sentence- a Deadman's noose hanging around her neck. He kissed her cheeks.

"For duty and honour- Lady Rukia Kuchiki."

.

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"For as long as I live, I shall cherish you and it is my hope that our union shall beget a prosperous future for both kingdoms."

His words sound like a scripted play. She grips his hand perhaps a little tighter in response- a show; she must always let them see who they want to see- a bride, a happy, beautiful, willing bride who is elated at her marriage to a young King.

She smiles and he places the jewel-encrusted tiara upon her head- her crowning glory.

The heavy weight and the gravity of her decision sink into her. She will serve the Crown and her King- she will be a good wife, she will honour her vows, and she will be Queen.

"My kingdom is now your home and the fate of her people- her people shall honour you as their Queen."

.

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"Remember your lessons," he whispered as she turned to leave. The Court across the sea may have different heralds and customs, may style and culture themselves differently, and favour soaring towers instead of domes, but all Courts are snake pits. Know one and you know them all.

She looked into his eyes and nodded.

She marched out of the centuries-old manor- head held high, shoulders squared for upon it laid the fate and honour of her household. She spared no further glances at the Manor as she climbed into the carriage- within her Kingdom at least, Lady Rukia Kuchiki has ceased to exist the moment it was decided that she would marry a King in the eloped princess's stead.

.

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She keeps her gaze on her husband- high cheekbones, strong jawline, thin lips, deep set eyes of a curious shade between brown and gold. She sees a man in his prime, broad-shouldered and tall- shaped and molded as though he was one of those heathen Gods.

She is young but not naïve. Trepidation lines her thoughts.

What does he have in mind for her- Queen, envoy, impostor?

He bends down slightly to unveil her and kisses her on her lips chastely. When he draws away, he remains expressionless and she reads nothing from his eyes. The erupting cheers from the crowd distract her and she heaves a breath of relief.

How odd it is that a duke's daughter who has never even dreamt of seeing the blue sea, would someday find herself heralding a procession of her nation's finest to a Court so many leagues away, of taking part in a scandalous hoax for the better of two kingdoms.

First princess, now queen to a gilded nation of hyphenated names and odd houses, married to a man whose first name she doesn't even know.

Perhaps such is the strange way of life.

.

.

.

It is as expected, a politically-fuelled marriage between him and his foreign bride.

His ministers of course, waxed poetries of her beauty and grace. She is to bring with her the riches from the Court beyond the sea, skills and knowledge from another kingdom, books written and inventions made from the best amongst their contemporaries, spices and trade.

Her blood is old, the noblemen of his Court reminded him- a scion of a noble and powerful kingdom, steep in tradition and a well-known history of bearing prodigious sons. She will bear him strong heirs- sons to carry forth his name and legacy.

What more should a young king, still childless and only sisters for siblings, desire? It is no secret of course, should he die now, issueless- the throne will go to a viscount from another kingdom- a son of his great-grandaunt's bloodline, a man who has never even set foot on this land.

Yet as he regards his young wife, he frowns; she is not what he expected.

.

"Who are you?"

She stiffens but the smile on her face doesn't falter. If nothing else, he at least commends her on her acting and composure.

"What do you mean, my lord?"

He rolls his eyes, takes another sip of the wine as he keeps his hand on the small of her back, leaning in to whisper to her ears only.

"You're not the Princess."

He has seen the Princess Orihime once. Though from afar and hidden in the shadows, while he was passing through a neighbouring kingdom under the guise of a different name. A serendipitous affair that ends with a dance for the two of them, and a kiss on the back of her hand as is proper.

This woman in front of him, heralded by so many as beautiful, virtuous and kind, and a million other things associated with that of the paragon of queenliness, and for all intents and purposes, his wife and future mother of his unborn children; is not that woman.

The two are nothing alike.

Her smile quivers- it's the first crack in her defences.

"You are mistaken, my lord. I am the Princess Orihime."

They're surrounded by courtiers. Each one more devious and sycophantic than the other; Rukia is determined to clench her teeth and bear through the confrontation. To any and all onlookers, they must appear to be, at all times, unruffled and polished.

He says nothing more after that.

A lord so-and-so comes forward to present himself and Rukia contents herself by letting her mind wander while the portly man dawdles on about the festivity of the occasion, on what a grand wedding it was, repeats the word 'grandeur' and 'blessed' for at least three more times before the King sends him away and in parting, flourishes with a deep bow, murmuring how he wishes only the very best for the royal couple.

Neither of said couple deigns to utter a syllable more to each other as the festivities and merry-making continues.

.

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The King's Bedchamber is where they retire for the first night to they consummate their marriage and mark their beginning as a pair- from henceforth, princess and daughter no more, but a Queen she will be- till Death spares them the misery.

Moonlight pours forth from the open window into the darkly lit room. Rukia is clad only in the sheerest of silk and bare underneath it. She feels vulnerable under his gaze, more so when his hands grab her by the wrist and tugs her towards him.

Alone with no interruptions from her ladies-in-waiting and his stewards, he continues with the unrelenting rounds of questions, fingers digging deep into her flesh.

He asks her again.

"Who are you?"

She sighs, lowering her gaze respectfully, recites it all with an even tone.

"I am Princess Orihime. I—"

He laughs- mirthless and cruel, cutting her short when the hold on her arm becomes tight enough to bruise. She hisses in response.

"No more lies. Or would you prefer me calling you by another woman's name even when we are in bed?"

She clamps her mouth shut.

"It's not that hard. I only need a name."

Silence still.

"Well if you are so unwilling. Perhaps a member of the entourage would be more forthcomi—"

"My name is Rukia."

The glare she shoots him is fierce and not at all like the simpering front she puts up.

"Who are you, Rukia?"

She bites her lips.

"A nobody."

"And why would they send me a nobody instead of the Princess, Rukia?"

Her breath hitches when his arm brushes against her side, glide across the rise of her breasts and leans in close enough that she could feel the warmth of his breath on hers. Fingers busy themselves with the hemline of her nightdress, cut far shorter than she is used to.

"I don't know."

"Where is the Princess, Rukia?"

She keeps quiet, clenches her fists tight enough that her nails dig into her palm. She mustn't say a word or give away the unfortunate circumstances that brought her to him, to this country and Court. The Mad King is watching even now, his spies lurking among her entourage and numerous attendants.

Her family- her father and brothers are all under his mercy.

She can't.

The price of failing is much too steep for her to bear.

"I-I don't know."

She looks at the young King dead in the eyes and lies anyway, uncaring if he sees past her lies or takes them at face value.

"Oh, is that so?"

There is a rip in her gown. The flimsy material gives way with a rough tug and Rukia steels herself, looking into her husband's eyes- amber, dark, knowing; as she steps out of the puddle of ruined silk and kisses him.

He tastes of wine- the richness of it lingering on his lips; and secrets- many of which she will never be privy to, but that's fine too. She has no use of his heart. The stiffness in the set of his shoulders gives way when she winds her arms around his neck and cards her fingers through his hair.

Sex, she has been told, serves as a good distraction- if nothing else.

He doesn't fight her.

There's a growl of approval as sinewy arms snake around her slim waist and pulls her flush along his body and under him on the bed as he does away with his clothes. Underneath them, he is broad-chested and beautiful- the lines of his body carved and sculpted like a work of art with perfection in mind. A scar here, a mark there; a trail of wispy golden hair that marks the length of his torso, leading to the –

"My eyes are here," he teases.

A collision of lips, teeth and tongues as his lips find hers again. There is heat there, a fire that she stokes when her hand brushes against his arousal- intentional or artless, she doesn't know; not when his molten gaze strips her down to her very core of neediness.

The suppleness of her flesh and her tender sex is his to do as he sees fit. His fingers tease at her nipples, parting the folds of her dripping sex and she gasps as they slide knuckle-deep into her.

"Ichigo," he tells her in between heavy grunts.

"W-What?"

She is more than a little breathless under him and the way her sex clenches and tightens- she hisses. How meaningless words have become.

"My name. You should know. That's the name you should be screaming out when I make you come."

She doesn't remember much after.

The rest of the night is a blur and blend of heady emotions, the stickiness of his spent on her inner thighs- soft moans barely recognizable as hers while he sinks into her- heavy with want, and makes a home in her warmth. Oh quivering muscles, the tight coil of nerves unravelling, the snap of his hips and the gleam in his eyes- golden and wild.

She soars and peaks with him in tandem until dawn is but moments away and he withdraws with a soft murmur.

"Sleep."

.

.

In the morning when her ladies-in-waiting find her, she is covered in bruises and bites. The ruined silk- a weak excuse for a dress to begin with- is in tatters on the floor and the unmistakable stains on the sheets mark the sharing of sins and desires.

She is sore and aching over patches of black and blue. She doesn't want company.

But company stays.

The King's orders they crow and the smiling ladies titter, nervously ushering her into a warm bath with scented oils and rose petals. The nice-smelling blend they lather into her hair sooths her tired body, enough for her to regain thoughts and some use of her limbs.

The King is an ardent lover and thorough in his exploration of her. Even now, Rukia doesn't think she has the energy left within her to even crawl unless prompted.

"Is he everything you had imagined?"

Rukia flashes back to her childhood memories. Of her at her father's lap- on the transactional nature of marriages and bridal price and dowries, and the meaning of duty, honour and love; she laughs—

And doesn't stop until tears stream down her face.

.

.

.

FF/ao3

Sneak peek for IR royalty AU dedicated to the lovely @animeokaachan​.

I couldn’t resist.

Review, like, comment, reblog or drop me an ask to send some love my way.

[elenalucilfer]

we’re the same

some stupid little paragraphs on how gabi and eren parallel eachother anyways warning: written by a gabi/eren apologist and MANGA SPOILERS 

Starting at the VERY beginning, let’s look at Eren. Born in the walls, raised and taught to live in fear of the titans that trapped him. SInce he was young, Eren was passionate, there was a rage inside him that was constantly lit, which I think is a result of the fluidity of time within the paths and the Attack Titan. He was never afraid to let go of morality to defend his beliefs and he often believed his actions were justified. And with such vigor and anger he grew a hatred for the titans outside the walls, they were the reason he couldn’t be free, the reason that he was made to feel weak and useless,the reason that he had to watch his mother die. So he pledged to kill them all, to prove that he was not an animal in cage. But time goes on and Eren realizes that the world isn’t so black and white, that he is not the one true hero and the titans are not the evil villains. Those titans that he so despised were victims just like him, people just like him and beyond the sea was not the freedom he was looking for, but another world riddled with its own sin.

Also born trapped by walls, Gabi. She shows the same passion and motivation as Eren, but her rage was something that was taught and nurtured as she grew up in her plagued society. She’ll do anything to free herself and the people she loves of their “curse”. She wholeheartedly believes that the island devils are the cause of her imprisonment and persecution and it is her duty as a “good Eldian” to help rid them of this world, and like Eren she will do anything to fulfill this role. She has seen her people suffer because of the existence of the people on the island and this sparked a need for revenge and hatred for those people. Except she doesn’t consider them people, to her they are monsters, monsters that take away a happy life from her every day. But with the truth, these ideas shatter. Like Eren, she was met with the realization that the monsters she has created in her head are just people. People who show her kindness, people who have felt loss, people she has come to care about.

Both Gabi and Eren wished for change and accepted that with that change would come war and loss and suffering. However, knowing that these things would happen didn’t make it any less painful when the time finally came. Eren still mourns the death of his mother and the destruction of his early life even though he is now “free”. Gabi still mourns the death of her friends and the loss of her home even though she now holds the opportunity to be good. Their volition can’t take away the heartache and their characters shouldn’t be diminished because they can still feel emotions. 

While their paths aligned for some time, I believe that they were always meant to diverge because their objectives are different. Eren desires freedom above all and Gabi desires to be good. Yes, for a long time Gabi took what outsiders would see as morally wrong actions in order to achieve goodness, and Eren makes the same sacrifices for freedom. However, her idea of good is quickly challenged when she arrives on Paradis. At first, she carries the same hostility toward the islanders as she always did, but she is shown kindness and patience that she’s never seen before by the Braus family, which chips away at her hatred. An especially important relationship is that with Kaya, the young girl that Sasha saved in season 2. Watching and hearing the pain that Kaya has gone through because of her mother’s death, because of Sasha’s death, Gabi realizes that she is not alone in her loss and she has even played a role in Kaya’s suffering. It is only now that she discovers the horrible things she has done to others. I feel that this discovery leaves Gabi feeling hopeless and lost; the ambition she once had is gone because of her epiphany and just as Reiner, wishes she could undo it all and desperately wants to be freed from her guilt. And like being brought to the surface after struggling underwater, Gabi is given a second chance because of Sasha’s parents, who show her empathy and kindness in spite of her sins. She is forgiven by the parents of the girl she killed and because of that she can begin to forgive herself and move forward, beginning to live in consideration of all people.

Eren on the otherhand falls deeper and deeper into revenge.And at some point, he was too deep underground to find a way out, so deep that not even Armin could reach his hand out far enough. I find this especially sad because throughout the story Eren has never enjoyed seeing people get hurt, especially those he loves. He’s an empathetic person and feels others’ pain as strongly as them, so his vengence is tearing him apart. He is not proud of his actions or who he has come to be, he sees himself becoming the antithesis of all he’s preached and he hates himself for it. To him, it’s more of an obligation to crush the world, a destiny he cannot escape rather than a choice. 

And there is the most important difference, Gabi was given a choice to pave her own way but Eren was forced and coerced into his.

[streets-in-paradise]

Battle Scars

Troy 2004 fanfiction

Characters: Hector, sister oc ( it can also be read as a reader insert since i haven’t named her yet and there are no mayor descriptions) 

Word Count:  2101

Genre: Angst Comfort - Fluff

Relationships : Platonic - Family. 

Summary: Paris is determined to fight Menelaus. His siblings are concerned with the high chances of his death and his younger sister wants to take his place. Hector comforts her and warns her about some less discussed consecuences of battle. ( I suck at writing summaries.)

Triggers: Mentions of war and typical war involved violence. (not much. Don’t worry because it is not gory) 

Disclaimers: This is my first attempt of writing fanfict to post. English is not my native language, i translated it to english with the help of an online translator. 

Tags: @hrisity12​ (tag you because i think you will want to see this)

I hope you enjoy this and thanks for reading 

The night after the start of the war had already fallen. The palace was quiet, a silent atmosphere that was nothing more than the mix of grief and exhaustion surrounded the entire place. Pacing around the hallways, Hector seemed to be the only person around, unable to allow himself to have some rest. He was looking for Paris, after the scandal created by his proposition of fighting against Menelaus and the lethal risks involved for him in that reckless idea he felt the need of having a serious conversation with him. 

Unfortunately, his brother was not the only one who needed his words and company that time. In his way he crossed ways first with Helen, stopping a grief induced attempt of scaping in a desperate try to stop the war. After comforting his sister in law, he was approached by his younger sister. The young lady was rageful and worried in the same amount. Without hesitation, she let go all the thoughts that were troubling her and vented to her brother. 

“Paris is the worst swordsman I have ever seen. How can you allow this? He can’t do that, i will not allow it. Why can’t I fight in his place?” she snapped.

 Seeing her state, Hector decided to stop his search for Paris and have a talk with her. The last time they had a few words was that morning in the armory when she begged him to let her fight and stumbled across his refusal. He thought that,after that short altercate in which no one had the time to explain themselves and with the news about Paris worrying both to the core, they needed some time alone. 

“You know you can’t do that. It would hurt his honour. He can’t let his sister fight his own battles “  he tried to explain. 

“Do you really think Paris cares for his honour? He is doing it out of guilt. I can’t let him die.“ she asserted 

“ It is his choice”  he stated. 

“ What about my choice of fighting this morning? I am the little girl so it is correct to take away my will to choose? “  she replied, her tone getting progressively more enraged.” Helen is a trojan princess now, let a trojan woman defend her freedom to choose her own fate. She is not a fighter but she has a sister willing to do it for her. I will be defending her freedom, not Paris’s right to possess her.” 

“ I will not let you get involved in actual combat for the first time against the King of Sparta. That man fought all his life.” 

“ But it is fine to send Paris to his death? It would be his first combat as well but with half of my training as backup. He never cared for this sort of thing, the only weapon he handles with a considerable talent is the bow. He can’t show up to a single combat with bow and arrows and he is terrible with swords.”  

“Don’t put me in the situation of being the one who has to choose between you two which one of my siblings will be sacrificed.”

“ Of course, because you already decided it.”

That thoughtless reply was more of what the man could handle. Abandoning his conciliatory tone, Hector allowed himself to let his own concernings go and said exactly what was going through his mind. 

“Do you think i want to burn our brother’s body?? I love him as much as i love you. I can’t allow you to fight, it is not your right to die in his place.”

“ How can you be so sure i’m going to die? Is your trust in me so small and weak?”she asked, confused by the switch in her brother’s approach.

“Real life is not like training in the safe space provided by the security of our walls. Battle is screams, blood,sweat, excrements and desperation. Nothing more. Your skills are worthy of trust but you are still very young and naive. You think you will go out there and end up crowned as trojan champion after doing some heroic act. That sort of attitude can get you killed.”  he explained in the most honest and realistic way he could use without upsetting her more. 

“Menelaus is a slow old beast. I’m young, fast and flexible. I’m a better choice than Paris for that combat and you know it.” she insisted. 

“I may be aware of it but i don’t care. “ Hector replied. The only way to go with this sort of conversation, especially considering the stubbornness of his sister on the topic, was through full honesty. 

He decided he was going to give her a complete explanation of his reasons on that choice. 

“Since the first time you picked a sword i told myself i would let you have your fun but i would also protect you from what would be waiting outside if you actually tried to pursue that path.”

The princess listened carefully and, imagining the route the conversation was heading, spoke her mind. 

“Death? That 's all? Your greatest fear is for me to end up dead in the battlefield? I am not afraid of it. I will die with glory if it saves our brother. Stories of my sacrifice will be tell all around our country and i will live in them. “ 

Hector was visibly angry this time. He wasn’t able to let himself believe what he was hearing. 

 “That is nonsense. Stories? You are asking me to let you die with stories as consolation? The songs of the bards are party entertainment, they aren’t worth your life “

“Even with the result of my death the outcome is good. If i leave my mark in history men will notice they need to change their ways. My death will save Paris and inspire more shieldmaidens.” she explained

“Had you realized who you are sounding like? That is exactly the sort of pointless nonsense i heard from Achilles. It is not what i taught you.”  he warned her 

“You taught me about sacrifice for my family and my country. That is your moral code, and it is the exact thing you don’t let me practice.” she complained, hurt by feelings of injustice. 

 Becoming desperate witnessing how nothing seemed to make her understand, he tried to show her understandment of her point of view and spoke from his own feelings and fears.

“I don’t want to lose you! I’m not even talking about death when i say it. That is indeed a big fear of mine regarding you but it is not the only one. I will not be talking about death now.” he said, lowering his tone trying to sound more calm to show her that his anger was not related to a misunderstandment of her point. “ Real combat, a battle in the middle of a war unleashed at our gates ... It is a terrible event to witness. I would not wish that to my worst enemy. It changes you, leaves scars on you that you would have to carry your whole life. Not just the physical ones, in your inside. Your mind and your heart are not the same after you survive your first battle. I hate to fight, it consumes you. Why would i want you to go through my same suffering? I don’t  forbid you to fight because you are a girl and i am some traditionalist who can’t come across to understand your will to challenge our ways. You know i am not like that, i wouldn’t had let you get involved in combat training sessions in the first place.”

The girl seemed less upset in her approach after hearing him. 

“You said it was a good way to wake some sort of interest in Paris and it was part of his formal education. We were very hard to separate back then.”

“And you still are. Menelaus would find you both sticked to each other in combat if i wouldn’t interfere in your choices.” he teased . She smiled briefly while hearing him. 

“ Combat has a terrible effect on people.I don’t wish such a terrible fate for you.” Hector stated, going back to his point. “As long as i live i will protect you from it. I love your sweet enthusiasm, your kindness and concern for our people. I already know you sneaked out to help in the expedition I sent to look for people in the camps. I should be mad about it but i am not because in that action you showed who you are. You are caring, you are full of hope and life. I love you as you are, Troy loves you as you are. Don’t ask me to take that away from you.” 

The words of her brother had a clear effect, she was on the edge of tears. 

“ But i want to help you!! I want to share the weight of the war with you.”  she yelled. “It is not fair for you to carry it all on your own and you know well Paris will not help” 

“He is trying”  he said, trying to comfort her

“He will kill himself!!” she shouted while tears started falling through her cheeks 

“ I promise i will help him as much as i can.” he reassured her 

 “It is not enough, i want to help you” 

“Your cheerful welcomes after every battle are more helpful to me than the strength of your arm.” 

With her feelings overwhelming her, the young lady hugged her brother tightly

“I want to fight for you and for our people. I love you so much, it hurts me to see how you work so hard on your own for all of us.”

Hector caressed her cheeks to clean her tears. 

“Do you want to know why it’s said that Achilles is a better warrior than me?” he asked in a trivial tone 

“ Because it is said that he is the son of a sea goddess?”  she answered in a slightly doubtful way. 

“ That is what people who have never stepped into combat believe. What i saw in him today, he is so good because he doesn’t care about anything. It’s clear that the scars war left on him took over and at some point he stopped caring. He has no mercy, no respect. He talks of war like it’s a game. When he is fighting he stops existing as a man and becomes only the tool war requires him to be. He became desensitized to all the death surrounding him. His only concern is to win glory because, once this lifestyle takes everything from you, that’s all what’s left for you to collect. He is a broken man, an extreme example of what war makes on soldiers.” he explained

“ You are my moral guide, my example of behaviour. I would never allow myself to get lost like that because i have you.” 

“ And i am not the almighty hero you see in me. I am another man changed by war. I fight hard to stay in my path, to remain as myself. I don’t want to look at you one day and see just a shade of the kind, lifeful girl you are now.”  he confessed. 

“ I have to assume you are protecting me from myself then?” she asked, without the connotations of assertiveness in her ways previously displayed. She felt regret for the rude ways in which her anger made her judge him 

“I am, even when you don’t notice it.” 

“ I don’t want our countrymen to die protecting my spirits.”

“I love you and i can’t allow it. Call me selfish if you want but even i have the right to a bit of selfishness on occasions.”  

After hearing her usually selfless brother admitting he was incapable of an impartial view of the issue when she was involved she was done with the talking. There was nothing more left to say that could mean as much as that. Hector’s life was full of sacrifices, she felt unable to question him. She wasn’t going to complain about the first time she ever heard him thinking of himself to make a choice. 

Instead, she thanked him for his concern and told him once more about how much she loved him. Hector kissed her forehead, wished her goodnight, and went to see their brother. He had brief thoughts about the very little time of sleep that was left for him but it didn’t matter. His siblings needed him that night and, as always, he was going to be there for them. 

[trassellynn]

ABOUT THAT WRONG THING

Here’s the analysis I promised. *** CROOKED KINGDOM SPOILERS *** WHY WAS MATTHIAS HELVAR’S DEATH JUST WRONG? 1. THE WAY IT HAPPENED 1.1. The Hand of the Author “The Hand of the Author” is an expression that indicates how much we feel the presence of the author into the story, the moments in which they intervene to manipulate the events in a forced and unrealistic way instead of following the coherency of their own plots. Now, let’s think about the sequence of the scene: a) Matthias if left alone and unarmed at job done; b) the boy has been able to follow him despite the messy situation; c) Matthias decides not to defend himself and talks to him in a kind and totally reasonable manner; d) the boy shoots him anyway. This death is absolutely anti-climatic, forced and disrespectful for such a character and the scenes from chapter 38 to 40 seem to be completely disconnected from the rest of the story. It looks like the author (despite her statements) was going to finish the book and said : “Oh, no, I cannot end this story without killing at least one main character, let’s kill the one I think the readers like less!” Even though Matthias was the worst character to kill off, as I’m going to explain in Chapter 2, if the author desperately wanted to kill him, she could at least give him a more decent death, like, for example, making him sacrifice to save someone. 1.2. Confusing sequences Matthias is shot by the young drüskelle, but he is still able to run to Nina. What does this mean? Why does the boy let him go, after shooting him? I honestly doubt Matthias has killed him to escape. Maybe he has knocked him down, but that wouldn’t make more sense to the entire context. 1.3. Fjerdan mentality Matthias gives the young drüskelle valid reasons to put his gun down: he has no weapons and cannot go anywhere. Do Fjerdans, filled with hatred but also obsessed with honour and discipline, really teach their young soldiers to be blinded by anger and kill a wanted man (“Dead OR ALIVE”) who is unarmed and willing to cooperate? The boy could have become a Fjerdan hero, if he had brought Matthias as a prisoner to his companions, rather than shooting him for no reasons and then being also unable to prove he killed him. 1.4. Double standards An author cannot build an unrealistic plot armor to some characters (for example, Kaz, a limping boy, who defeats all the Dregs alone) and kill others in a totally “random” and anti-climatic way, at job done. As I say in my small guide “Five simple rules every author should know about characters’ deaths”, double standards compromise the logic and the coherency of the story. 2. THE WAY IT BREAKS BASIC NARRATIVE RULES 2. 1. Character development Matthias’ storyline is mainly focused on two topics: his relationship with Nina and his character development. He literally spends two books to work on himself, unlearning everything he was taught since he was a child and finding a new purpose based on his change of heart. When characters are made to evolve during the story, the most logical choice is to give them an opportunity to make their development useful and significant outside of their safe zone (for example, their group of friends). And, most important thing, an author should never kill their characters if they haven’t complete their development. And that’s why Matthias was the worst character to kill off at the end of Crooked Kingdom: first of all, he hadn’t fully complete his development (he was still very insecure during social interactions and was still fighting against crumbles of Fjerdan mentality); secondly, no one out of the Crows has seen his development, since the author made him fail during his first real attempt to demonstrate something. I think people would need practical demonstrations to make a change possible, it can’t really be enough for them to hear his story from Nina. It’s just not realistic. Killing Matthias in that way and in that moment, made the character uncompleted and his entire development vain. I’ll conclude the subchapter with a simple example: why do you think it was Jack to die in Titanic, instead of Rose? Because Jack was a complete character, while Rose was still completing her development and had to put it into practice. The criterion is the same. 2.2. Characters’ deaths and their impact on the story Authors owe respect to their characters and have to build their paths properly from the beginning to the end, to guarantee quality to the story. Unless they’re writing a story about random events of human life, they should kill characters only when their deaths make sense to the plot and can give a valuable contribute to other characters’ storylines. A story lacks of quality when characters (especially main characters) are killed just for shock value, to add unnecessary angst and suffering to other characters or because “I cannot give a happy ending to everyone, happy endings are for children”. Matthias’ death was anti-climatic, useless and has so little impact that, if a reader jumps chapters from 38 to 41, it almost seems nothing has changed. 2.3. The failure After everything Matthias did to change and evolve, the author made his first attempt to put in practice what he learnt a huge, undeserving failure. First of all, even though he is unarmed, Matthias is fully able to defeat the boy but he doesn’t do that, that means he chooses not to defend himself. He wants to give the boy a possibility, he wants to demonstrate that there’s still hope for Fjerda. And his faith is repaid with death. These kind of plot choices SOMETIMES (and not in this case) can make sense if written at the beginning or in the middle of a story, not at the ending, when everything seems to be resolved. What is the author trying to suggest us? Fjerdan people are hopeless? If Matthias hasn’t been able to persuade a young boy, who, despite his anger and hatred, should have a more “elastic” mind, how could it be possible to convince older people in Fjerda, who have lived with their beliefs for decades? Does the author really think it is realistic that Nina’s words will be heard by Fjerdans? I’m starting to think her and Matthias’ dream is just destined to fail… * SPOILER FROM NIKOLAI DUOLOGY * (Please, don’t mention me the Nikolai Duology, which I tried to read but I abandoned due to several reasons, one of them, I consider the Crows’ arc closed, after that ending, and I don't like the idea of using the group only as a "passage moment" for both a character and a major plot. And to be honest, I think it’s just not fair that the work Matthias started to change Fjerdans’ mentality would be finished by a character who is just similar to him (well, even too much similar) but hasn’t faced everything he went through with Nina. It sounds like Bardugo is trying to replace him and this is bad. 3. THE AUTHOR’S STATEMENTS And now, in the third and final part of my work, I’m going to report some statements the author said during interviews about this choice and explain why I cannot help but strongly disagree with her. 1. “Matthias didn’t deserve a happy ending because he spread too much hate, he had to pay.” Okay, first of all, Matthias didn’t just wake up one morning, deciding to spread hate for no reasons. Do we need to think about his background? 1. He had always been taught to fear Grishas and see them as monsters; 2. A group of those monsters killed his family and he has been taken by a man who took advantage of his trauma to turn him into a weapon. He received bad teachings (and not only from Jarl Brum, but also from Grisha people who burnt his family alive), he has also been able to unlearn those teaching and decide to do something to repair and make things better. About the “he had to pay” stuff, excuse me, but he has been tortured in Hellgate for a year, being forced to kill wolves, that were not only sacred to him, but also reminded him of his own pet wolf, and living with the belief that the girl he fell in love with had betrayed him. Wasn’t that enough? And, last but not less important, here we go again with double standards: Matthias, who understood his mistakes and was determined to fix them “didn’t deserve a happy ending,” but Kaz Brekker did? Kaz is a great character, but he also did terrible things and I’m sure he’ll never do anything to fix them because he’s too broken and rotten inside. That’s okay, not all the characters are made to have a great development, but statements like this, when we compare the two characters, just sound a bit incoherent. 2. “He has been killed by the younger version of himself” Does the author really think this is a great symbolism? Doesn’t she know that being killed by a younger version of yourself, especially after you went through a great redemption arc, just means “Regression”? She’s basically saying that it doesn’t matter if you worked hard to change and to fix your mistakes, you don’t deserve to be forgiven, you are your past and you’re destined to be destroyed by it (unless your name is Kaz Brekker). Past is a part of us, of course, we cannot change it and we can be hurt by it, but we cannot let it “kill” us. The message the author gave is just wrong and filled with extremist, unnecessary moralism. It definitely doesn’t fit the atmosphere of a Young Adult novel, which should promote progression, instead of regression. As I said, she also seems to be willing to demonstrate that Fjerdans are just evil and will never change. I wonder if Bardugo has ever seen “The Lion King”, because Rafiki would be very disappointed by all of this. 3. “I knew from the beginning I would have killed him off” Even though the way she killed him seems to demonstrate something different, Bardugo has always stated that she wanted to kill Matthias by the moment she created him. Okay, we can believe it, but I can still speak against this statement. How? I’m sure this thing has happened to many writers: we create characters and decidespecific endings for their storylines, but, while we’re writing, those characters “come to life” into our hands and they sometimes evolve out of our control and start to lead us to a different path. Since the story is made by our characters, we should follow the directions they take, for the sake of the plot: we shouldn’t listen to fanservice or to old plans, we should listen to our characters. That’s why it can happen we end up saving a character we were meant to kill of at the beginning, as well as killing a character we hadn’t plan to kill off. It is just wrong to stubbornly follow an old idea that doesn’t fit the story anymore, that’s why authors cannot use it as an excuse to justify their mistakes. (The finale of “How I Met Your Mother” is a great example to explain this concept). 4. CONCLUSIONS “Geez, what was that for?” - It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. “Yeah, but it still hurts!” - Ah, yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it. (“The Lion King”, 1994) Matthias wasn’t even running away from his past. He faced it. He wanted to do something about it. He was ready to rise from the ashes of his past and work for a better future. And those are all the reasons his death is just wrong from every kind of perspective: narrative, logic, symbolism. Matthias Helvar deserved better. Not only from his life, but also, and especially, from the author who created him. *** Hope you agree with me. Haters stay away, I won’t change my mind. Don’t make flame under my post. If you agree with me and like my work, feel free to share. Thanks for reading!

[mythologyfolklore]

Norse Gods headcanons

1. Óðinn used to have two older brothers, Vili and Ve. The three went through a lot together, like killing the giant Ymir and creating the world. At the same time the brothers took hold of Óðinn’s possessions (plus his wife Frigg), when he was away for a long time (that's in the Prose Edda, btw). He re-established his authority upon his return, but still was devastated, when they died.

2. Frigg is perfectly capable of holding her own and everybody knows. Óðinn is super protective of her anyway.

3. Frigg is actually a (far older) cousin of Þórr. (I got the idea, because in the Lokasenna, Loki calls her the daughter of Fjörgynn and Þórr’s mother Jörð is also known as Fjörgyn - I decided that Fjörgynn and Fjörgyn are siblings)

4. Loki, as a fire giant (yes, I went with that shtick), wasn’t born in Jötunheimr, but in Múspellsheimr. He got bullied for being small and ran away. He doesn’t miss Múspellsheimr, but he does miss his mother and grandmother.

5. Because Loki is a fire giant, his body is smoking hot (heh!), no matter what shape he takes. Humans can’t touch him without burning themselves and even the gods find his heat mildly unpleasant. He never feels cold and heat doesn’t bother him. Most of the time he suppresses his fire form, but it leaks through, when he gets too angry.

6. Þórr is a weather god, but also a vegetation god (being the son of Earth herself). So when he isn’t bringing rain and thunderstorms or killing Jötnar, he really enjoys gardening with his wife Sif.

7. Because Loki is Óðinn’s blood-brother, the Allfather’s children call him “uncle” sometimes, when they’re feeling affectionate (except for Höðr). Loki doesn’t mind - unless it’s coming from Baldr.

8. Baldr, with all his kindness and sweetness, is thought by everyone to be happy. But he actually suffers from a deep depression. The only ones who know the truth are his father, Höðr, Heimdallr and Loki (of all people). Hel too will know, once they meet.

9. Óðinn loves all of his children equally. Really. I swear. He just sucks ass at showing it.

10. Fenrir, Jörmungandr and Hel are triplets. They were born in exactly that order.

11. Loki cutting off Sif’s hair wasn’t a harmless prank. He did it to let everyone know, that she was unfaithful to her husband (in Norse society shearing off a woman’s hair was a punishment for adultery). Needless to say, Þórr was incensed.

12. Heimdallr sees and hears everything and knows the future. It cost him an ear, just like Óðinn had to sacrifice an eye for greater insight. But sometimes, the Guardian would sell his soul for earplugs (especially, when Loki and Sigyn get freaky).

13. Bragi used to be a Midgardian bard, who was so good, that he was deified to make music for the gods and the Einherjar in Valhalla. He’s also happily marred to Iðunn.

14. Höðr is Baldr’s younger twin and god of darkness and winter. Because he’s blind, he uses his umbrakinesis and cryokinesis to orientate himself. He’s also capable of umbraportation (teleporting via shadows/darkness).

15. Apart from his twin Baldr, Höðr has exactly two friends: Heimdallr and Bragi. Heimdallr, because he’s so understanding and Bragi, because he’s a nice guy and taught him how to play harp.

16. Óðinn and Loki are both huge pranksters. That’s one of the reasons, why they’re pals.

17. Mimir is a jötunn, but he is one, who is shapeless and doesn’t actually need a body. So being decapitated didn’t bother him at all. Most of the time he just appears in form of a talking severed head or skull, to humour Óðinn, ‘cause he’s morbid like that.

18. Mimir is Óðinn’s uncle on his mother’s side.

19. Don’t talk to Baldr, before he had his morning coffee.

20. Heimdallr doesn’t often listen to music, but he does have a playlist full of tragic opera music on his MP3 player. It’s his guilty pleasure, when he’s off duty (even he needs a break sometimes and then Huginn and Muninn cover for him).

21. Loki’s marriage to Sigyn was arranged and at first they really disliked each other. The only reason they agreed to this was because Loki wanted to be part of the community and Sigyn was the only one available, as no one wanted to marry her. Their relationship was a really slow burn.

22. Because Heimdallr sees and hears everything, he COULD blackmail everyone in Asgard (except for Baldr and Höðr, who have no skeleton in their closet). But he won’t, because he’s a nice and silent guy (unlike Loki).

23. Sigyn is a real spitfire and a shrew. Almost no one really likes her, as they find her temper hard to deal with. Most of the times it’s her husband she gets mad at, because obviously.

24. Freyja's bestie is Heimdallr, because he duked it out with Loki that one time to get her Brisingamen back. She’s also pals with Þórr, even though she considers him dumb as bricks.

25. Freyr and Freyja are twins. Freyr is the nice one and Freyja the badass one. Freyr is actually just as smart as Freyja, but it’s hard to believe, because he often acts really stupid (like, you know, “giving his sword away to get married”-kind of stupid).

26. Hel is a telepath. She can read the minds of the souls that come to her realm. She uses that ability to judge them and decide, where they go. She's blunt, extremely intelligent and as placid as she is clinical. She also happens to be a sucker for cute things and loves children.

27. Óðinn is attracted to everything that has more than five brain cells. Loki isn’t remotely that picky.

28. When Sigyn was born, she was supposed to become a Valkyrie, hence her name (it means “Victory-Bringer” or “Friend of Victory”, depending on the translation). But Óðinn quickly changed his mind, when he realised, that the girl was way too unruly to join the Choosers of the Slain.

29. Frigg is very sorrowful and very silent. Only Baldr is more sorrowful and only Viðarr is more silent.

30. Óðinn regrets treating Loki’s children the way he did, but thinks it’s too late to make it okay.

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Avengers Infinity War-First Time Watching Reaction Play-by-Play (Pt. 2)

Part 1

I wonder how many people Gamora has killed? What made her finally snap to not serve Thanos anymore?

How DID Gamora find it? Like, who told her?

How did Thanos capture nebula?

Poor nebula. She’s literally been through hell and back.

Ohhhh she snuck on board...

Thanos you suck so much. You favor one daughter over another.

Oh. Where was said map to the soul stone?

Gosh I feel so damn bad for nebula. She was raised as his daughter too but he tortured her and tore her apart. Nebula never had the chance to be her equal. She deserves so much.

Taught groot as an elective? What about all speak?

Buckle up rocket. It’s gonna get emotional.

Thor is literally all alone. He needs a time to sit alone and cry and break a whole building.

Rocket and Thor friends? Please

1500 years old? Jane, honey, you escaped.

Gotta give it up to Hemsworth’s acting chops here. Especially talking to nobody in reality. Just a bunch of cgi

Ew ew ew eye socket

Should have washed that yikes

Snuck it out by hiding it up your? Huh? You watch too many movies rocket.

Huge title card. Thank you. I wouldn’t have known where we were despite them saying their location many times.

How is that video game battery not dead?

Perceptive rabbit

I LOVE that they used a dwarf to play a giant character!!! This is brilliant! (And that dwarves are giant for some reason lol.)

Soooo again Thanos killed everyone EXCEPT Eitri despite his “morality” supposedly being balance

Poor hands

Poor nebula

Smart nebula

Maybe should have waited to be fixed fully first

Ah crap. SOMEONE PICK UP THE SPACE PHONE

MANTIS

Love how Stark asks for peters help in steering and not Stephen lmao

Nice parking job

Peter, stop popping pop culture refs

Lmao ITS ABOUT TO BE THE ICONIC SCENE

YES PLEASE

Blanket of Death. Capey has a new nickname.

Where’s Gamora

Who’s Gamora

Why is Gamora

What master do you serve?

Jesus?

I mean, yea I do. So does Pratt lmaoo.

LMAO PARKER’S FACE WHEN QUILL SAID THOR WASNT HANDSOME

Storm breaker time baby

“In theory it could summon the bifrost” who theorized this? How do you only theorize and not know?

Oh my gosh mantis is just bouncing around

Mr. Clean lmao

Kick names, take ass

Hey now, these guys saved the galaxy and universe from Ego so lmao

Oh no I know the scene coming up

Poor quill lmao

“I’m half human. So the 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% of you.” “Your math is, blowing my mind.” What’s funny is that Quill’s math was actually completely accurate lol

Stephen having a stroke or a seizure? You good homie?

Soooo if Strange looked to the future and so possible outcomes, what does that mean for the TVA? According to them, there’s ONE sacred timeline, so all other branches are erased (which again messes up what smart hulk eventually says in end game. See kids, this is why you don’t mess with time travel in stories. There’s no way to go back in time without creating a time loop). Ehhhhh I’ll let it slide. Just ignore it... sigh... I can’t help it if I’ve studied paradoxes

Hmmmm not good odds I’ve gotta say...

Watch like, outside of the millions of realities that strange saw, there were like a million or billion more he missed where they won with no casualties lol

Hey Red Skull. Long time no see. How did he get here anyways and why?

Yea you’re prepared all right...

Gotta say, Lord Elrond has seen better days

I’m not ready to say good bye to this Gamora. Gamora and Loki and Nat go down as my favorite characters, gotta say. I know that Tony does and it’s sad, but his feels more satisfying because his sacrifice directly results in them winning. Loki is murdered. Gamora is murdered. Nat died just for a stepping stone for the avengers. She has no idea whether or not they will actually win in the end.

I’m hopeful they may bring Nat back like in the comics, red room clone style.

We got back vision, Loki (kinda), variant Gamora, a new captain America, why not Nat? Yea we have a prequel, but gosh I love her so much.

“You must lose that which you love.” Couldn’t that apply to like an object or something? Could I not throw my Nintendo switch over the cliff? Or my dog? (I would hate that just as much as a person, don’t get me wrong, I’m just curious about the rules)

Yea boohoo sad for Thanos... loses his favorite daughter. I don’t care about him. He deserves suffering.

Poor Gamora doesn’t think he’s willing to do it.. GIRL RUN!!!

Thanos deserves all the suffering.

He does love you Gamora... but that love... it’s selfish. It’s blind... Thanos seems to be a chaotic vigilante who is narrowminded, tunnel vision on his goal with no regards of the cost. But he is evil. If there is ever an alternate route to an end that doesn’t result in the loss of innocent lives, and you know that but you willingly choose the once that costs innocent lives, that is an evil decision. Maybe Thanos isn’t evil, but he’s not good. Far from it. He’s obsessed with this idyllic Utopia but he rushes to one method of getting there. Yes, people suffer. It sucks... it’s unfair... it’s horrible. But it is never the right of someone else to dictate whether or not said person would be better off dead. Who lives, who dies. If Thanos truly was neutral and not selfish, he would have thrown his own life into the mix of the potential 50/50 snap. Thanos is not good. He’s not misunderstood. He’s a murderer. A genocidal cult leader. I have no tears for him. Only for those who suffered more at his hands.

Rant over, time to try not to cry about Gamora...

Her face of realization

Gamora run please

Thanos, I hate you. (Great character her, but not a good person)

Poor Gamora

Oh my gosh the emotion here is great but I’ve heard this sound used as a meme on TikTok too many times aghhhh

Gamora!

What a way to die

I’m crying again. I miss her already...

Who the hell designed this place and put the stone here???? Who did this?

Cry Thanos. Suffer. My only comfort here is that you are sad. You deserve suffering. You really do...

The TVA is laughing here and I’m not okay..

Poor Peter Quill... he’s also lost a lot like Thor, but has had the “luck” of not knowing his family too close.

Wakanda babyyyy

No, you don’t want Starbucks, you want Dutch bros

Lmao I love rhodey. Poor Bruce.

BUCKY BUCKY BUCKY

HUG

NO CMON HAVE A LONG HUG

MALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO IMPORTANT.

Yea Shuri show em up.

Okay quick pause, I love love LOVE how Shuri is smarter. It’s a powerful moment for females BUT it’s not done in a way that’s condescending to males! It’s not saying women power because men bad, she’s just good! (And she has had access to technology they never could have but I digress). More of this please Hollywood. Don’t let being a female be the power. I don’t want strong female characters, I want strong characters who happen to be female. Ones who hold their own, have faults like anyone else, struggle, have weaknesses and strengths, but are strong without putting down others. Just a comment, just because a woman character may not be as strong as a man character, that is not saying she’s weak. If you’re the second strongest human in the world, you are NOT weak. You’re just not as strong as the strongest human ever, but that’s nothing against you. LET WOMEN STAND ON THEIR OWN MERITS WITHOUT SEX AFFECTING THEM!

Anyways

I love Shuri

I wish they had more time. She definitely could have done it. But stupid Thanos

Ughhhghhg

I know what many scenes are upcoming... with quill and peter and vision and everyone else

Let👏🏻Bucky👏🏻Have👏🏻Peace👏🏻

Thank you Nat!!! I love that Nat is so protective and selfless.

GET THIS MAN A SHIELD

Bucky needs love please. He’s my stand in, manipulated, greasy, long haired, dark and mysterious, stabby boy. (Also I need Bucky and Loki to meet. But let Loki finish his show (and come out of it alive because if he doesn’t I will sue) and be the antihero hero we need. Please. If he doesn’t get reintroduced into the mcu as a hero I will sue.

Thor, sweetie, are you a masochist?

Back to wakanda

Oh no, bad CGI, floating head Bruce banner. I’ll let it slide... sigh....

Can’t like, you just rain bombs on them forever?

JIBARI TRIBE YEA BOYYYYY

Sorry Proxima Midnight, you look like a frog and your name sounds like a middle schooler’s OC.

How nice. Diplomatic meeting.

“Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.” Reeeeeeally wish you didn’t say that, T’Challa...

Yay big CGI battle commence! It’s like a really expensive animated cartoon at this point

WAKANDA FOREVER!

Poor Bucky. Forgot this dude doesn’t know much about the modern world.

Ahhhh Kamikazi aliens

I just wanna say that I love that Wakanda still has the artistic culture in their clothing and tradition all the while having badass, super advanced technology.

Why can’t they just rain bombs down the whole fight lol. Rhodey has those super nice bombs, like, do that they he whole time? Please? Why do you not have a barrier around the entire king.

No M’Baku, it’s not the end of wakanda. But half of all life, yea

WAKANDA FOREVER YEAAAAAAA

They should honesty all have nano tech suits like black panther lol. Or iron man suits. Fine maybe the most powerful one with the best quality material for the king, but besides that, yknow.

Wow Steve is hot with a beard.

So much happening at once. Thor, Wakanda, Vormir, Knowhere, am I missing anything?

Okay, but what IS the full force of a star? Like in Newton’s or something? Juls? Is it heat?

What’s this metal? How does it fare with vibranium?

Get off your wooden butt, groot.

“He needs the axe” are you Thor, the god of axes?

Soooo, I thought Thor didn’t NEED the hammer, it just helped him concentrate his powers or act as a conduit. Is that retconned already?

Cmon groot, put down your game. Soooo, is Groot worthy? He technically lifted it. Or is it a technicality because it wasn’t fully finished yet?

Cmon bucky, use that fancy arm of yours.

Wow they’re getting destroyed.

They need wanda to help.

BADASS ENTRANCE BABYYYY

How did Thor know to come to wakanda?

Floaty head Bruce

“BRING ME THANOS!”

Ahhhhhahahaha yeaaaaaa

Cry Thanos. Do it. I hate you.

Much more of a purple grape nutsack.

Oh gosh... I know what Peter Quill is going to do. I still don’t hate him.

“With all six stone I would simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist.” Orrrr, now hear me out, I know I sound like a broken record now but... MAYBE DOUBLE THE RESOURCES INSTEAD?? That’s not mercy. That’s not up to you to decide whether or not someone’s better off dead.

Smoosh

Yea quill has experience with the power stone

AIM FOR THE HEAD

Cmon it’s basic zombie tactics

I love peter quill lmao

Go capey!!!

Magic with a kick!

Poor Peter

CAPEY NOOOOOO

Wow he’s OP

Ouch quill just got majorly clotheslined

NEBULA

“Where’s Gamora?” 😭😭😭 SHE CARES AGHHHH

Restrain him! Work it mantis!!!

Why even remove the gauntlet, just slit his throat... kill him....

Quill no... stop being cocky...

Oh no

Quill please don’t

JUST SLIT THANOS’ THROAT

Quill please....

Poor quill. Just lost the person who really really loved him

Okay, I still love star lord. Idc what others think. He reacted realistically. If you hate peter quill for how he reacted, you better also hate Tony Stark for how he reacted to bucky when he learned bucky killed his parents despite knowing for a fact that bucky was brainwashed. Yes it was annoying... yes they were so close, but quill is so human here. I don’t hate him. He gets too much hate for acting like any normal person would have. Distraught, grief filled, he lost his love. Someone who helped him open up and finally move on from his mother’s death and fathers villainy.

Spider man saving mantis gives me life

How did that power stone blast not kill them?

Clearly Thanos has played Majora’s Mask. At least he has good taste.

So close vision.... but I know... I know what happens.

YES BUCKY AND ROCKET GUN CIRCLE.

Lmao give rocket Bucky’s old arm.

“I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.” Comedy gold

Cmon Thor, go after the big one first.

Cmon wanda, save them. We need some scarlet witch magic up here to stop these

Okay that was so cool. AND THEN SHE USED THE BLADES

Oh no but now Shuri is alone

So close yet so far.... Dangit... vision was almost good

Ouch. Bonk to the head

YEA BLACK WIDOW

BADASS TIME

AND OKOYE!!

LETS GOOOOOOO

BADASS WOMEN

Ouch poor vision

Cmon Thor back up vision

Please

Hulk is in his feels

Cmon hulk grow up

Ooooh smart move banner

Aaaaand he’s gone

Giant blade look oit

Corvus, screw off.

YEA STEVE

WHERE IS THOR WHEN YOU NEED HIM

CMON NAT

Oh dang. Nice one wanda. But also, sheesh. Helluva way to go. But no big.

Yea vision. Stabby time.

Now vision and Steve, kiss.

Spider man saving everyone’s lives.

YEA STRANGE

Where was this in New York???

MULTIPLYING

WHY DIDNT YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE????

Oh no

Well then... ouch. Soooo where’s the real stone???

Hey look Tony, you have a fan.

Okay I’m just pissed odd they didn’t just kill Thanos when they had him subdued. Like, worry about the glove AFTER he’s not longer a threat

Oof

Tony is taking a beating

HE WAS STABBED

WHAT

I don’t want your respect Thanos. That’s an insult.

They will remember him. They will remember him Thanos. When he kills you.

DOCTOR STRANGE WHAT?

You really doing this??? I guess he knows what needs to unfold for them to win... dang. I wouldn’t trust him tho.

Peter Quill in berserker mode

Where’d he go?

Name dropping the second movie

Strange knows everything about to go down. Who dies, who lives, what Thanos is about to do... he’s accepting his soon dusted demise because Stark needs to live...

AIM FOR THE HEAD UGHHHHH

Stop teleporting. That’s Loki’s gimmick.

KILL THIS RAISIN LOOKING NUTSACK UGH

Homie way too OP

Poor wanda and Vis...

HER LIP TREMBLE

PHENOMENAL ACTING

SAY I LOVE YOU

I JUST FEEL YOU

AGGHHHH IM CRYING AGAIN

Poor wanda. To have to kill her love... this.. this is a sacrifice Thanos... not your murder....

Wow Steve is holding back Thanos with pure brute

WANDA IS SO STRONG

HOLDING BACK THANOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BREAKING THE MIND STONE

I LOVE YOU

AGHHHHHHHHH

And I know what happens next...

Poor wanda

Piss off thanos you understand nothing

You lost more than she could know? Bull crap. You are causing everyone to lose...

Cruel reality. Wanda has to see him die twice. RIP Vision

RIP half of all life...

AIM FOR THE DAMN HEAD

IF THOR KILLED HIM THEY COULD HAVE USED THE GAUNTLET TO BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE. USED THE TIME STONE TO REVIVE THEM ALL.

How did that not kill Thanos tho. It may not have been a head shot but still.

Lil Gamora

What is this place?

Is this the soul realm?

Thanos, I hope you suffer forever. You deserve all the pain...

Rest In Peace: Vision, Loki, Bucky, T’Challa, Groot, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Dr. Strange, Peter Parker (I don’t feel so good), and everyone else...

Thank you Nebula.

Thanos, you do NOT deserve to retire peacefully—wipe that smile off of your face

Oop, Rest In Peace Maria Hill and Nick Fury too... Motherfu— (so close Sammy boy...)

Yea Thanos you didn’t really think that through. Much more than half will died since other people rely on other peoples lives

Good thing he hit that button last minute huh? I wonder how captain marvel would fare in the TVA? are her powers considered magic? I mean, she clearly doesn’t know everything since she only just learned about Thanos (which is funny because she was supposedly traversing the universe to protect people)

Welp... onto movie two!

[3shag]

August 1

This month, I am hoping to learn on how to focus on myself. I badly need to focus on my review for the upcoming board exam. Also, I’m hoping that this month would be a healing month and a fresh start for myself since I’d been really busy focusing on my family this past few months.

I pray for knowledge and wisdom.

I pray that I’ll be able to discipline myself not to easily be distracted.

I pray for a productive day everyday.

At the end of this month, It’s a new me. All these things are for my better future. So help me God 🙏🏻

August 2

Actually, I don’t know. The month of July was filled with pain. Still, looking at the positive side of this month was that I’m thankful that I’d finally received my two diplomas.

August 3

What love taught me so far was to be brave enough to let go someone you really love and just continue life. It’s been 6 months since we’d broke up, less than month since my grandma, and our dog left. I can say that I’m not that fully recovered yet because I still recall all the heartbreaking days happened. But, I can also say that I’m fine and fearless enough to go on with life.

August 4

My favorite non-work activity I did this past month was to try workout in the morning, read a fictional book in Wattpad, and chill with family like netflix and drinking beer with them.

August 5

I’d read a fictional story from Wattpad entitled “Chasing in the Wilds”. It’s a love story of a CEO and a civil engineer. This story really inspired me to work hard in achieving my goals. How I needed to focus on my review, work for my family and future, and I know someday I’ll find my living fictional character that every girl would dreamed of.

August 6

I feel normal again. Not so sad, not so happy. Just the neutral feeling. I guess the best feeling I had these past few days was to feel motivated on the things I wanted to do or achieved. I feel so bad when I got nothing to do. It’s like everyday should be an improvement day. I guess, I’m already tired of doing nonsense. Maybe, Its time to focus more on myself.

August 7

Actually, I did nothing on this day since I am having a body pain. But, one thing that brought me a sense of joy was that I have this body pain because I really miss playing badminton and that made me happy that I played again despite of this pandemic.

August 8

The best memories I had when I was a child was that I am able to play outside the house with my childhood buddies. No gadgets, just the usual traditional 90’s games.

August 9

The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far from this week is that time is unstoppable, so, why waste time to nothing. Everyday should be a learning process day. Trying to have productive day and rest if I have to.

August 10

I can be present to someone if I am to hear or listen to all their rants/problems in life. I may not be present physically, but virtually I am trying my best to make them feel better.

August 11

I really don’t know actually. But, I think the plot twist happen in my life right now maybe the days I felt so broke. So lately, I am trying to be resourceful on the things that aren’t not going to be used but has value, so, I tried to sell it online. It’s just a temporary income, so, I probably need to save too and discipline myself. But I’m glad I am not that so broke anymore.

August 12

My past self was too busy on school. Less time on my family and close friends. I can tell now that I’m proud of myself because all those sacrifices I did before when I was on college we’re all worth it.

August 13

The grace I am receiving lately I think my extra income in shopee. At least this time I can now save money for my basic needs and be wise on spending for my wants.

August 14

That everything happening right now is just at the right time.

August 15

Lately, me and my sister have planned to have this “beaded accessories” business. So yeah, I enjoyed doing it and makes me forget my worries temporarily.

August 16

Calming and Relaxing. It made me feel like I’m not worrying anything.

August 17

I pushed myself so much today. I haven’t applied to rest for a while. Maybe because I didn’t prioritize all my task this day so I clutched up everything.

August 18

The moment that they pressured me on my review. I am already pressured by myself and the moment they pushes me even more, it’s totally suffocating. The only courageous words that I am holding onto is that everything happening in my life are just at the perfect time. Mistakes and delays are meant to happen. All these problems are preparing me for something good.

August 19

I am still breathing

I have complete and happy family

We are healthy

We have food to eat

Few close friends but the realest ones

Blessed to buy wants and needs

I graduated college

My family / relatives / friends are safe

Comfortable bed to sleep and rest on

God is always with me

August 20

In today’s situation, all the public servants, front-liners especially from hospitals, volunteers, food drivers or any public transportation drivers, and others who continues their businesses just to serve the needs of others. They are the ones who’s helping and sacrificing theirselves to our community. What I have learned from them was to take good care of ourselves and showing our kindness to them because seeing them tired was really heartbreaking.

August 21

When I didn’t hesitate to ask and comfort my auntie (Ate Lita). The moment I saw her crying while fixing her things, I felt how lonely she was in her life. Everything we’re going through right now, I wanted blame the pandemic. Everyone’s suffering from mental health. Yes, it’s safe being at home but It’s also not healthy anymore being stuck in a house.

August 22

Faith in God. Everything that is happening right now, I always trust in him. No matter how slow my progress is, I know everything’s planned.

Discipline. I always feel guilty when I didn’t review or waste my day to nothing. It’s a good thing because I know that I have a responsibility to do at the end of each day. It’s an add up routine for me to discipline myself to at least review per day. Also, it helped me minimize the use of social media accounts, use of phone, or watch netflix.

Strong. I know that I am strong because I am not giving up. Lately, I am being pressured on my review. I panicked and palpitated when I am stress. I cannot think properly. I know that my anxiety starts attacking me. I pray. I pray. I pray. And after that breakdown, the next day, It feels like I’m totally okay again.

Soft-hearted. I’m glad that I am still that kind of person. I don’t have that so much pride. I know that I am still humble and the kind person you still know.

August 23

1. To put God first in anything and everything.

2. To learn how to use your emotions to think.

3. To learn how to rest and treat myself.

4. Everything is just at the right time.

5. I deserved better. Don’t settle for less.

August 24

It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. So much question on your head and a lot of insecurities on yourself. But you know what, you’re still growing. There’s so much things planned for you. Everything that you questioned about yourself, they’re all just temporary problems. Take it as a challenge for you to surpass. You still have so much things to be learned and you shouldn’t miss it. Just keep on moving forward because there’s a lot of opportunities ahead for you.

August 25

Trust is something that would take you for years to gain it and just a second of mistakes for you to ruined it. It’s one of my most important value in this world. Once I give you that trust, it means I am safe with you and I have no doubts for you. If you break it, I’ll always doubt in you and hard for you to have it back.

August 26

Yesterday. I’m not in a good mood. My body doesn’t want me to do anything. I feel guilty when I am not doing anything productive. But, its a recharged for me. Maybe, yes, I really need that rest for a while for me to think and relax my mind. Reminding myself to take good care of my mental health as well. Resting for a while is healthy, but too much chill can be unhealthy as well.

August 27

The positive changes that happened to me now would be my self-worth. It’s good to be single again. Less worries and problems. Maybe, God really planned this. He knows that I will carry much more pain when I am still in a relationship. This time, I’ll focus more on my personal problems firsts.

August 28

Recently, I am learning to plan all my tasks to do which truly a helpful for me to be more motivated to finish all my tasks. Also, I am reading an inspirational book before I start reviewing my lectures. It also helped me to be calm and inspired at the same time. It’s a slow progress yet it’s still a progress. Trying to not be so hard myself this time.

August 29

I am dreaming about acing that board exam.

I am dreaming about how my future would be.

I am dreaming about giving back to my parents.

I am dreaming about traveling to my dream places.

I am dreaming about buying all my wants.

I am dreaming about a contented life.

All I am dreaming is about my success. Success for me is something that I’ll overcome someday with all these present-day problems. It’s just all dreams but I know it’s not impossible to happen if I work hard and never give up no matter how life throws me curve.

August 30

Maybe, the new builded relationship with my sister. We are trying to start a small business which was her idea and I just support her. We don’t know how to grow and run a business, so, we have misunderstandings. But, we’re also happy on what we are doing because it’s something that you will not get bored or unproductive in a day. We both love arts, maybe someday, as we grow older, we’ll understand each other ever more.

August 31

I cannot believe that I made it. I am somehow healed on all that July heartbreaks. I can say that I’ve overcame all those previous problems because it’s all different now from all my current worries. I am now worrying about passing the board exam. This is what I wanted to happen, to be more focus on my review. I always have a productive day and I even learned to plan my duties to do at the end of each day.

~~~~~

Lord, Thank You. I know that you guided me. You helped me push myself to do better each day. There are downfalls, yes, but you never failed to be so good in me. It’s just a one month, but it truly helped me mold myself even more. I learned a lot from this month of August. I love you, Lord. Thank You for not leaving me.

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary Addendums: Oddly-Specifically-Themed Edition

I mentioned back when I finished the commentary that I might occasionally make new posts with little addendums to things I said in my posts. I re-read this commentary a lot just for my own sake, and sometimes I find myself wanting to clarify existing points, elaborate on things, or just make a whole new point that I hadn’t thought of during the original commentary post.

So here’s a post kind of like that… but this one features bonus thoughts on a rather specific theme. People familiar with my content on my main blog may be quite aware of the reason I found myself having these extra thoughts on this particular theme, but for the sake of not alienating anyone not familiar with that reason, I won’t directly mention anything about that here.

Content warning for the entirety of this post: discussion of torture. And I guess a little bit for psychological abuse in a non-torturey way as well.

The escape tunnel

Consider the escape tunnel in chapter 1. After being the first person to flat-out refuse to keep attempting it, Kokichi makes a rather interesting comment.

Kokichi:  “You’re free to keep trying on your own, but forcing us to join you is basically torture.”

Kaede:  “T-Torture?”

Now, not to sound like I’m agreeing with Kokichi or anything (because I’m not, not quite), but here’s my new hot take on the escape tunnel: it really is a literal torture device.

Kaede:  (When I finally woke up, searing pain coursed throughout my entire body.)

Since it’s swallowed up by a minigame, it’s kind of vague exactly what really happens to them in the tunnel each time. But based on lines like this, and everyone’s general reactions after failing over and over, it seems it’s gruellingly physically exhausting and painful. They don’t just fail to escape; they suffer for trying to do so.

Which, when you consider that there were probably plenty of ways to make the tunnel nigh-impossible to get through without making it so gruelling like this, has to have been deliberate on the part of the gamemakers. This is more than just giving them a glimmer of apparent hope and then snatching it away; this is torturing them for even trying to act on that hope.

This tunnel is a torture device, designed to ensnare people like Kaede who are stubbornly determined to escape, and then to psychologically beat them into losing that determination by coming to associate it with nothing but gruelling suffering and failure.

Rantaro:  “They want us to be desperate to go home. Corner us mentally.”

Rantaro says this, but it’s actually kind of the opposite. This is to make them give up on ever getting out of here through their own power, so that they feel like the only remaining option is to do as Monokuma says and play the killing game after all.

It’s easy to see that this works on Kaede. It’s because of the disheartening experience with the tunnel that she can no longer believe things would ever be as easy as the mastermind letting everyone go once Shuichi captures them on camera, which is why she becomes convinced that the only way to be sure of stopping the mastermind is something much more permanent.

But what might not be so obvious is that the tunnel’s psychological torture also works on everyone else. Not only does nobody ever even think about trying the tunnel again until it’s chapter 5 and Kaito’s getting especially desperate to be a hero (and they have a way to disable the traps anyway), but also, nobody ever seriously tries to escape in any other way before then, either. They talk about it, but everyone’s too hesitant to actually act.

Only a few of the weaker people there would have been consciously thinking “escaping is impossible and trying will only cause us to suffer more”, mind you. That’s the same kind of blatantly-unhelpful attitude as Kokichi’s insistence in chapter 2 of “we shouldn’t co-operate because Monokuma will make us suffer if we do”. Most people should be able to realise that this is defeatist, and that of course they should be doing the things Monokuma doesn’t want them to do, whether they might suffer for it or not, because the possibility of escaping in the end would be worth that suffering.

If some of the more determined ones caught themselves having a thought like that, or realised that the tunnel existed to make them think that way, they’d certainly be having none of it. Kaito would fervently tell you that there’s no way that stupid tunnel taught him to just give up on ever escaping this place; why the hell do you think some bullshit like that would sway him!?

And yet, it did. It got to everyone in a psychologically subtle enough way that they don’t even consciously realise it did so, so they’re not able to push themselves to fight against it. It’s rather like how Maki gradually developed a heartbreaking coping mechanism of simply accepting her awful situation without trying to change it, just condensed into one afternoon of what really does deserve to be called literal torture for the sake of making them give up.

…But as for Kokichi being the one to make the point about this being torture, well, that’s more by luck than judgement. As usual, he’s really spouting self-preserving bullshit that completely misses the actual point.

Kokichi:  “You won’t let us give up and no matter what we say, you have the moral high ground… That… doesn’t sound like torture to you? When you say we can’t give up, you’re not inspiring us, you’re strong-arming us!”

Because, geez, way to blame the person who was manipulated by the torture device exactly like it’s designed to do, rather than blaming the people who actually built the device and who are therefore really the ones responsible for torturing everyone here.

  Maki’s assassin training

Another thing I’ve had a lot more thoughts about is Maki’s third FTE, aka the one where she talks about being tortured during her training.

Maki:  “They tried to break me during training, but *I* was still there.”

See, the thing is, while Maki thinks they were trying to break her by torturing her… she’s wrong. Of course they weren’t. They wanted a functional assassin. If she broke entirely, then that’d waste all the time and effort they’d put into training her this far. Sure, they had her friend as a backup option, but it’d still be a waste to have to do all the training over from scratch. They probably very carefully design the torture to not outright break their child-slaves such that they’ll become non-functional, while also making sure to pick kids they know are resilient enough to not completely fall apart through something like that. The possibility of Maki breaking under it was very, very unlikely from the beginning.

Maki:  “They tried to drag my dignity and tear it… To make me feel empty… But even then, *I* found myself. And then, they would do it all over again.”

This is a more accurate assessment of what they were trying to do. They were trying to break her sense of personhood so that she’d just be an empty, obedient tool who would do what she was told without question and never think for herself.

(And they failed, because Maki is incredible. I really love her way of framing it as “I was still there”, “I found myself”. It’s so impressive that she managed to hold on to her sense of self throughout all that, to the point of even being consciously aware that that was what she was doing. She had no-one to help her through this, yet she managed to somehow support herself through it all anyway, out of her sheer determination to do what she needed to for the other kids at the orphanage. Maki is so good.)

Maki:  “It… wouldn’t have been strange if I broke during all the torture. But even so, I tried my best. I wouldn’t have accepted the job in the first place if I knew I couldn’t do it… But most importantly, if I broke, then *that girl* would have replaced me…”

Maki still seems to believe that she was in genuine danger of breaking to the point that they’d have needed to outright replace her, though. If she actually thought about it from a logistical standpoint – which she’s usually very good at doing – she should be able to realise that this would be a very inefficient way to train child-slave assassins. So it’s interesting that she can’t see that.

I can only assume that that’s because the torture was so awful while it was happening that she felt like they must have been trying to break her entirely, and that she was in real danger of becoming non-functional. Which… of course she would have felt that way, regardless of what they were actually trying to achieve with it. Torture is horrible, and those cultists are the biggest assholes in the world for casually doing this to children. (Or at least, they would be if they existed, but I finally thought about this so much in the first place thanks to certain AUs in which they really do.) Maki is so, so strong.

  Something else I’ve been thinking about regarding Maki lately is the notion that, well, she didn’t need to have “willingly” chosen to become an assassin for the sake of protecting the orphanage and her friend. None of the kids they recruit ever needed to be given a choice in the matter. They’re orphans, and the cult runs their orphanages; it would be perfectly easy to force a kid into assassin training even if said kid didn’t care about protecting their orphanage to the point that they’d be willing to sacrifice everything like Maki did.

Maki’s not the only high-school-aged assassin, since there are others from her cult. She apparently doesn’t even have the most inherent talent for it, given that the cult was scouting her friend first. So I wonder if the reason Maki was deemed the Ultimate Assassin anyway is because the fact that she went willingly made her better at this than any of the other child assassins the cult produced. If she didn’t resist the training (beyond the natural human instinct to resist pain and suffering, at least), it’d be easier for her to hold on to herself. She chose to submit to them and shut the regular-person part of herself tightly away in order to be able to do what she needed to do, which meant she never needed to have that part of her be broken.

Maybe kids selfless enough that they’re willing to choose this are a rare exception. (Aside from the fact that it’s still not at all a choice, because emotionally blackmailing a ten-year-old that their effective family will starve if they don’t become a mass murderer is not okay on any level, but you know what I mean.) Perhaps all of the cult’s other child-slaves weren’t quite brave and selfless enough to have willingly walked into hell, even with the threat of what’d happen if they didn’t, and they needed to be dragged there kicking and screaming instead. In that case, if they weren’t choosing to submit already, the training would have had to beat them into submission, probably resulting in those poor kids genuinely losing most of their sense of self rather than just locking it away. They might have actually had to become empty, near-mindless puppets before they could kill people.

If Maki retained more sense of self than the other child-slave assassins, that’d leave her with more initiative in carrying out her kills than the unfortunate kids who could barely do anything except follow orders any more. Although Maki had no real choice over whether or not to kill people, she wouldn’t have lost the capacity to make at least some choices by herself within that, in terms of how to do so most effectively.

(Maki mentions at one point that she specialises in quick deaths – which seems to imply that not all assassins in her cult are necessarily trained to do that as standard. That was something she chose to do on her own terms, because she wanted to be as kind as possible while still doing what she needed to do. She still hadn’t lost the capacity to be that kind.)

So maybe, paradoxically, it’s because Maki had the most kindness and selflessness out of all the cult’s child-slave assassins that she ended up being deemed the “best” out of them at killing people.

  With all that said, while the torture didn’t break Maki’s sense of self, one thing it does seem like it managed to break is her belief in herself, her sense of worth as a person. Maki thoroughly hates herself – but it’s not just in the sense that she hates herself for having killed countless people. She also just doesn’t think she’s any good at anything else, such as taking care of people, persuading people, helping out in cases, even though she is good at all of those things. While she hates the fact that she’s a killer, her skills in killing people are the only part of herself that she has any kind of confidence in.

Maki:  “Something only I can do… I can think of just one thing. …I know what you’re about to say. But… that’s the reality.”

Maki:  “I was confident in my talent as an assassin. I knew I would be able to do it.”

And… that’s almost certainly deliberate on the part of her trainers. They tortured her, physically and psychologically, to beat her down into feeling like she had no worth at all. Then, based on her genuine confidence in her talent of killing people, I can only imagine that they filled up that void of worthlessness by giving her praise and validation – but only when she showed promise in the assassin skills she was learning, and for nothing else. That way, she’d be actively motivated to get even better at it and turn herself into nothing but a killing machine, so that she could get more of that validation and feel like she was worth at least something after all. Those assholes in the cult would have become something like her twisted abusive Stockholm-Syndrome-y parent figures that she was desperate to please despite everything, because she was just a kid and she had nobody else.

Guh. Maki deserves all of the hugs and all of the genuinely supportive and healthy relationships and I’m so glad she has Kaito and Shuichi for that.

  Chapter 5 stuff

There was a thing I alluded to indirectly a few times during chapter 5, not wanting to make it explicit when the game didn’t either because torture can be an uncomfortable subject. But since I’m here openly talking about all of this now with a content warning on this post, I might as well make my point from then clear.

Maki believed it was very possible that Kokichi could be torturing Kaito while holding him prisoner. That’s part of why she was so desperate to get him out of there as soon as she could.

(Obviously Kokichi wouldn’t actually have done that, but Maki completely believed his evil sadist lie. That coupled with her own experiences that paint torture as just normal gave her every reason to assume it might be happening.)

  Meanwhile in chapter 5, there’s the Strike-9 poison.

Although it requires time to circulate, even a small amount in the body will result in certain death.

This is… very unscientifically vague. How small of an amount? Every chemical that’s capable of killing someone is always going to have a minimum threshold beneath which there’s simply not enough of it to do so. The label on this poison bottle really, really ought to actually state that amount. Obviously it would vary from person to person, but the label should at least state the average.

Instead, by not stating an amount, the implication the narrative wants to give here is that any amount of Strike-9 in the body, no matter how tiny, will absolutely definitely be lethal. Which is not how pharmacology works.

I can forgive this, though, because it’s just a writing contrivance for the sake of the case. The writers wanted it to be an unquestionable fact that anybody who was shot with an arrow coated in Strike-9 would definitely die unless they drank the antidote of which there was only one dose. They didn’t want to bog that down with ambiguity based on the threshold of lethality of the poison and the question of just how much the arrows were coated with. Nobody was meant to get any kind of hope from thinking “okay, so Kaito was shot with a poisoned arrow and Kokichi drank the only antidote, but what if there just wasn’t quite enough poison on the arrow to kill Kaito?” Technicalities like that were not the point of the case.

It is also, for that matter, quite a narrative contrivance that apparently the entire bottle of antidote is necessary to properly neutralise the poison, such that there wasn’t the possibility of them splitting it half-and-half or something. Really the exact amount of antidote needed would probably depend on the original dose of the poison, and there’d be all kinds of ambiguity to that, too.

But shush. These contrivances are necessary building blocks to create a case where one of Kaito or Kokichi has to be dead and the only ambiguity is in which one it is. Just like the whole deal with the Exisal’s ridiculously convenient voice changer, I do not actually care what background details needed to be kind of awkward and forced in order to get this story to work, because the story itself is so damn good.

[seyaryminamoto]

hii, can you tell me more about why you’re anti sukka?

... Okay, now, that’s an inaccurate statement.

As per current internet terminology, I’m not ANTI Sukka. These days, an anti is someone who obsesses with the ships they hate, and spends an insane amount of time harassing fans of the ship, attacking other shippers, making content to disparage the ship and pretending they’re on some sort of superior moral high ground by doing all these things. While I’ve made occasional posts on why I don’t ship Sukka, I don’t think I’ve made any since AGES ago. I don’t get in the way of anyone who does ship it and I wouldn’t even say I HATE the ship. In truth, I just don’t care for it. I won’t read or look for content about it, but that’s not the same as hating a ship, let alone the same as harrassing its shippers: so I’m not anti-Sukka, I just don’t ship Sukka.

Now, since your question’s intent was to figure out why don’t I ship it...

... Warning: long, long essay that won’t sit well with any hardcore Sukka shippers right under the cut. I would be using a truncated term like su*ka throughout the whole post if only the anon hadn’t already used the actual ship name, but regrettably, it’s likely to show up in your tags all the same. I am sorry, preemptively, if it does: please ignore it for your own good and go on your merry way without letting me ruin your day.

I haven’t talked about this for ages tbh. But anyways, here we go.

When I watched The Warriors of Kyoshi for the first time, I actually liked Suki plenty. I liked her initial conflict and chemistry with Sokka, though I wasn’t big on how she made him wear the Kyoshi Warriors uniform when it clearly made him uncomfortable, but all in all, I liked how their relationship had shaped up at that point and I even looked forward to Suki returning in future episodes.

On my first watch of ATLA, I seriously saw nothing wrong in Sukka. I didn’t think a lot of things through during that first time I watched the show, I was just binging the whole thing like a maniac (like a lot of people are doing at the time), so I found their relationship perfectly acceptable as it was, for the show I was watching.

And then later rewatches, even before the Sokkla bug bit me as hard as it has, I realized maybe that wasn’t entirely true.

One of the things I really, REALLY don’t like about Sukka to this day is how unequal their relationship is in terms of how the characters are written in the show. Basically, the same complaint I have about Asami in LOK applies to Suki ever since she reappears in Book 2, but ESPECIALLY in Book 3: her character ends up revolving almost exclusively around Sokka.

Meanwhile, Sokka appears to forget about her surprisingly often and easily.

Instance #1: there’s no sign of Sokka holding a torch for Suki when he first develops a crush on Yue. Implying that, while Suki impressed him, his feelings for her weren’t necessarily romantic despite she outright kissed his cheek... whereas he is crushing, HARD, on Yue. In contrast, Suki was so affected by Team Avatar’s visit to her island that she took off to help people around the world to follow their example. Sokka (and his friends) have a huge impact on Suki’s life... whereas Suki’s impact, sure, taught Sokka to set aside his sexism, but he’s never even seen reflecting on how much Suki has changed him because of this? Neither is Katara portrayed mentioning how much nicer he became after meeting Suki? There’s not a single sign through the rest of the season of how much Suki has meant for Sokka, whether as a teacher, friend or potential love interest.

Instance #2: after initially hesitating to kiss Suki in the Serpent’s Pass, Sokka finally kisses her once they’re about to part ways before she returns to the Kyoshi Warriors. It’s soooo very romantic... until, a mere episode later, Ty Lee openly flirts with Sokka and, instead of reacting as he does later in the season (with a comment along the lines of ”Uh, I’m with someone else”), Sokka merely WAVES AND SMILES. I... don’t even understand why the writers did this. They spent the entire season featuring Sokka avoiding Ty Lee, or being fully hostile with her, but somehow RIGHT AFTER establishing his relationship with Suki, he’s shown behaving like this? It doesn’t make any sense to me. It basically says either he’s not taking his relationship with Suki all that seriously, or he’s just blatantly disloyal, and considering how devoted he was to Yue, I can’t bring myself to believe it’s the second thing. A writing oversight? Eh...

Instance #3: when Toph talks about the moon turning mean, Sokka rages and rants about how nice the moon is. Why do I bring this up? Because Yue is out of reach. Yue is gone: he still feels the need to defend her from someone who isn’t really insulting her despite that. MEANWHILE... Suki’s fate, at the time, is unknown. Sokka has no idea if Azula captured her, left her for dead, tossed her in a river, sold her to a traveling circus...? He doesn’t. He seriously doesn’t. He can’t KNOW what Azula did because the last thing he knew, Mai and Ty Lee were masquerading as Kyoshi Warriors. Implying them, and their leader, did something to the group his girlfriend was part of. And yet, for an entire season finale AND the first half of Book 3, Sokka betrays zero intentions of wanting to discover what happened with Suki, or guilt about not being able to save her UNTIL AZULA BRINGS HER UP. I know it’s very sad for Sukka fans to see Sokka crying over Suki as he did when Azula taunts him... but why haven’t we seen the slightest sign of how affected he is by Suki’s presumed capture/murder/whatever he was imagining happening to her, when Book 2 features Sokka suffering over failing Yue in the Swamp, as well as rejecting Suki initially over guilt because of his lingering feelings for Yue, paired with fear of failing to protect those he cares about? And then in Book 3 he’s even standing up to Toph when she makes a careless comment about the moon spirit...? Why is it so easy to bring up Yue, but not Suki? Is this really just another writing oversight? So we’ve had TWO writing oversights about this relationship already, both of which suggest Suki is barely on Sokka’s mind at all? Is this oversight... or accidental characterization? :’)

Instance #4: Sokka and Zuko travel to the Boiling Rock. Sokka is determined to save his father. It’s a really cool, absolutely acceptable, very important decision for his character... but here’s the kicker: Sokka knows now, at this point, that Suki might still be alive and a prisoner of the Fire Nation. Azula outright said Suki had been WAITING FOR HIM AND GAVE UP BECAUSE HE NEVER CAME. This is what drives him to tears and to shout at Azula while wasting time during the Eclipse! :’D And then? Then he goes to Zuko, to ask him about Fire Nation prisons, and my gullible, first-watch self thought “oh, he wants to save Suki now that Azula said she’s alive! :D” ... only for his intent to be exclusively about his father. I’m not saying it’s WRONG for Sokka to privilege Hakoda over Suki, I mean, he is his father and Sokka really cares about family. It’s one of his main priorities, always has been. But isn’t it WEIRD that after Azula taunted him SO BAD about failing Suki, after saying Suki GAVE UP ON HIM, Sokka makes zero moves to find out if she might be alive and within reach? He could ask Zuko about her, maybe, seeing as he was on Azula’s side in Ba Sing Se and may have known a thing or two about any prisoners she captured in the Earth Kingdom? Sokka could have mentioned he wants to save BOTH Hakoda and Suki, and it doesn’t harm the story in the least for him to say something like that. It doesn’t make his efforts for Hakoda any lesser, and it shows Suki is a priority for him too... But no. Instead let’s feature him bumping into Suki by sheer luck, because that’s truly what it was, and instead of feeling any guilt for not helping her sooner, he’s just lovestruck and attempting to put moves on her when she doesn’t even know who he is yet. Super funny. Super romantic. Super lacking and I can’t understand why, WHY, someone would ever think this is how to write a quality romantic relationship?

Instance #5: connected to instance #4, actually. When traveling to the Boiling Rock, Sokka and Zuko have an awkward conversation. During this awkward conversation, Sokka asks Zuko if there was anything he left behind in the Fire Nation that he might have missed. Zuko smiles and talks about Mai. Sokka is surprised that the “gloomy girl who sighs a lot” was his girlfriend, and Zuko looks genuinely fond of her as he smiles and thinks of her. And then Sokka brings up his own romantic experience... WITH YUE. Instead of bringing up the girl who taught him girls can fight too, instead of bringing up the girl he hasn’t been able to save yet, the girl who MIGHT BE in the prison he’s headed towards, Sokka brings up the girl he absolutely CAN’T save anymore. He brings up the girl whose death most clearly scarred him, deeply, and I’m not trying to lessen the blow Yue’s sacrifice takes on Sokka... but Suki literally, LITERALLY, has something to do with the plot of this very episode? While “My girlfriend turned into the moon” “That’s rough, buddy” is a well-loved hilarious scene and line, I’d have sacrificed that IN A HEARTBEAT if the writers had thought to feature Sokka talking about Suki instead. He could’ve said Azula took her! He literally KNOWS this now, for a fact! Zuko could’ve told him “Hey, maybe she’s in the Boiling Rock too!”, and the plot of the episode wouldn’t have changed in the slightest, beyond featuring Sokka actively looking for BOTH Hakoda and Suki! But no. Again, no. Again, the writers choose to privilege Sokka’s bond with Yue over Suki. With Hakoda over Suki. With anyone else over Suki.

... whlie Suki, most obviously, has no one else she cares about more than Sokka. Why? Because she hasn’t even had enough screentime to establish any other significant relationships, and after the Boiling Rock, she doesn’t establish them anyways.

This causes Suki to feel like a Sokka satellite: SHE revolves around HIM. But Sokka? Sokka doesn’t revolve around Suki IN THE LEAST. Would it be healthy for him to be completely devoted and crazy over Suki to the point of disregarding his ties with other people over her? Hell, no! But it’s not healthy to feature Suki as good as doing that for Sokka either! :’D Suki doesn’t even have a solid, established friendship with any of the other Gaang members. She has POTENTIAL for it, but ever since she joins the Gaang she is most frequently shown interacting with Sokka and only on occasion with the others, but in no memorable, meaningful way with anyone but Sokka. She even joins Katara while searching for Aang in Sozin’s Comet, and we don’t see the slightest sign of unique, important bonding  between them. She saved Toph from drowning once, found out Toph has a crush on the same boy she likes, and it’d have been interesting if she, for instance, had refrained from seeking an openly romantic relationship with Sokka out of respect for Toph’s feelings? They could’ve had a conversation about it? With Toph telling her to go for it, maybe, because Sokka liked her too? Suki saying she doesn’t want to hurt her? A perfectly nice bonding situation for these two girls, showing quite a lot of respect between them, as well as respect for their personal relationships with Sokka?

But no. That doesn’t happen. 

The second important character Suki bonds most with is Zuko, and in the show, it’s exclusively because they’re with Sokka in the Boiling Rock. Once that’s over you can’t really say there’s any relevant, personal dynamics between them in the show. Heck, Suki tells him she wants a rematch with Azula in the Boiling Rock: Zuko could have offered her a chance to come with him to the Fire Nation and get that rematch, instead of offering it to Katara :’D Why doesn’t he? Because they DID take their time to establish a relationship between Zuko and Katara, even derrailing the show for a whole episode to ensure they would convince Katara to forgive Zuko for all the wrong he did, in the most absurd and contradictory situation possible. Meanwhile, a simple “sorry” from Zuko is enough for Suki to stop holding a grudge. You absolutely CAN interpret this as Suki not being the type to hold a grudge! Which, great! But you also CAN interpret this as the writers being way too lazy to give Suki as much time to forgive Zuko as she could have/should have needed. And sadly, while story-wise I’ll choose to read it the first way, I think, realistically, what happened was the second thing instead.

Suki doesn’t even have a meaningful relationship with Aang. AANG. I’m not saying she should have been his best friend, but Oyaji outright says “you kids had a big impact on her”. It’s PLURAL. It’s not supposed to mean “Sokka had a big impact on her”. Hell, Aang is Kyoshi’s PAST LIFE. Kyoshi is, in all likelihood, Suki’s hero! :’D And yet... nothing. Not even featuring Suki as a Kyoshi fangirl who knows all sorts of random facts about her, such as her favorite foods or the habits she enjoyed most, and Aang saying “oh hey, I like doing that too!”, so that they both could rejoice in this unique, curious shared common ground!

Nay. Nothing. Literally nothing. Her only serious, meaningful relationship is with Sokka... and like I said, whenever Sokka is asked about meaningful relationships with girls, his brain goes “Yue”, immediately, even when the plot would benefit from him saying “Suki” at least ONCE. He’ll sit out at night watching the moon, but he can’t be bothered to bring up how frustrating it is for Azula to have captured Suki whether before or after the Invasion. Yes, Sokka is shown to be the kind of guy who grieves quietly: why is it so much easier, then, to see his quiet grieving for Yue than his concern for Suki?

The truth is, it’s a writing shortcoming. It’s not even something I’d blame on Sokka’s character because, as I always have said, his relationship with Yue really highlights what a wonderful boyfriend he can be when he’s seriously interested in someone. He takes Yue out on dates, gives her gifts, fights for her people, fights the fiancé who only objectifies her, tries to protect her from fulfilling a destiny that will kill her? This is all top-tier romance hero behavior. It is. Why the hell isn’t this behavior seen with Suki too?

It’s not a matter of Suki being a warrior rather than a Princess so she doesn’t need him to act the same way he did with Yue: the show outright, literally, explicitly states Suki is a girl and a warrior, implying Sokka could easily enough woo her the same way he does with Yue, if he cared to. But he doesn’t. It’s Suki with the initiative when their actual romantic relationship begins, and later on Sokka can forget Suki is his girlfriend whenever it suits his fancy, to absolutely no consequences.

So... does this mean, then, that Sokka, in canon, only tries really hard when he’s chasing after someone he can’t be with? That he slacks off and drops the ball when the girl is already his? Well, that’s... not good. Not healthy. Not pretty.

This doesn’t mean that there’s nothing good about Sukka altogether, there are a few things about the ship that aren’t bad... but even then, scenes like “Sokka makes a gross sand sculpture and says it’s Suki” aren’t really that heartwarming to me. It’s not only a comedic relief scene that tries to feature these two as super romantic dorks... but it only reinforces one of the main shortcomings in this relationship for me:

Sokka doesn’t even have to TRY.

He doesn’t. He can make a gross-looking statue, say it’s Suki, and she won’t even make suggestions to improve it? She just says it’s perfect this way. It’s basically the kind of coddling Ursa did with Zuko when Zuko messed up in his firebending display and Ursa said it was wonderful. In the case of a couple, it feels like a mix of cute and condescending? Suki accepts Sokka as he is, sure, so she doesn’t challenge him, doesn’t try to make him do better, he doesn’t need to improve his work... because she’s fine with whatever she gets from him. 

This is complacency. It’s a relationship neither one needs to make efforts for. Suki will always accept Sokka’s occasional romantic gestures, even if he leaves so much to be desired in his relationship with her, as opposed to his relationship with Yue. And I’m not saying Sokka DOESN’T care about Suki, but he doesn’t need to do better with her, and while that’s just what Sokka may think he wants/needs for the future, in truth, that’s not what makes his character thrive.

What makes Sokka’s character grow amazingly is CHALLENGE. And I don’t mean that he needs a girlfriend difficult to be with and out of reach (like Yue): I mean that, when faced with a love interest who keeps him on his toes and makes him continue pushing his boundaries, Sokka would genuinely develop and grow further as a man, warrior, leader and love interest. Look at how fast he develops into a quality swordsman while training with Piandao: why? Because it was a challenge. Because it was an opportunity to hone his skills. Because he had to rise up to prove himself, and HE DOES. In the Invasion? He feels he can’t measure up to Hakoda, but in the end? He winds up LEADING the whole operation. People FLOCK to him as he draws out the battle plans and strategies they’ll follow so they can figure out where Ozai is and take him out before the eclipse ends. Right after thinking he couldn’t do it, when the situation DEMANDED that he stepped up, he did and he goddamn EXCELLED at it, proving himself well above these challenges indeed.

THESE are the moments where his character shines the brightest. And a relationship that wasn’t so complacent would do this kind of thing for Sokka’s character just as well: a challenging relationship would promote his GROWTH. He wouldn’t be stunted in simplicity with someone who doesn’t give up on him when he spends MONTHS disregarding her circumstances. Because the truth is, I see Sokka as an overachiever in denial: he wants to go the extra mile, to do things no one else has done before, but because he’s stuck in a world where he doesn’t have the crazy powers his friends do, he wrongfully assumes they’re the ones who’ll do amazing things and he’ll just lag behind them, so he figures it’s better not to bother trying to stand out at all. Yet look at him, figuring out the perfect plan to take down Ozai’s fleet: look at him, making such an impression on Piandao, epic swordmaster, that Piandao even says “If you stay on this path, I know that one day you will become an even greater master than I am.”

Sokka has incredible, extraordinary potential as a character. He has huuuuge anxieties and sources of anguish and insecurities, and those only make his potential greater. He has flaws that can be worked on, there’s so much room for growth...

And the true reason I can’t support Sukka, on Sokka’s end, is because I don’t think that relationship will encourage him to grow any further.

Meanwhile, I can’t support it on Suki’s end because I don’t think she deserves to be an afterthought for a boyfriend who has so much going on in his life that she’s a secondary or even tertiary thing in his life unless she’s right in front of him. And even when he doesn’t have that much going on (meaning, during the first FOUR comic trilogies), he’s shown traveling the world with his friends instead of spending time with her. And heck, where Suki SHOULD have arrived in the South Pole with Zuko as his guard during North and South, Suki doesn’t show up at all. Why? Seriously, what sort of logic explains that the Fire Lord’s appointed BODYGUARD would stay behind in the Fire Nation while Zuko travels halfway across the world, with hell knows how many dangers ahead? If she HAD gone with Zuko, she would’ve had a chance to spend more time with Sokka and it’d even be a point in Sukka’s favor. But that doesn’t happen. To make matters even worse, Sokka doesn’t even tell Aang to say hi to Suki for him when Aang leaves to the Fire Nation by himself in Smoke and Shadow? There are TWO WHOLE PANELS as Aang takes off on Appa with NO DIALOGUE. Sokka calling after Aang to ask him to say hi to Suki literally would’ve fit PERFECTLY, right there! But no. Suki doesn’t even get that much from her boyfriend.

Seriously, it’s NOT THAT HARD to show a healthy long-distance relationship. It’s not that difficult to feature Suki and Sokka longing to see each other but having too much going on to meet up. But that’s not what we got with Sukka, not in the comics, not in the show. Fans ARE free to believe otherwise, and I’m not going to trample on someone who thinks we just conveniently never get to see the healthiest aspects of their very positive relationship... but there’s no genuine evidence to back up this belief. It’s just wishful thinking and hoping that things are far better behind the scenes than what we’re genuinely shown.

Again... I blame the writing. Especially seeing as Yang’s writing of Sokka is DISMAL. But it doesn’t erase what’s already there. It doesn’t do away with the very obvious problems in this relationship.

The positive moments Sukka gets are offset, for me, by all the negatives. The meaningful relationship they could have developed feels underdeveloped instead, something we should take for granted is there and nothing more. And even those positive moments and episodes aren’t necessarily that positive?

In particular, I point to The Ember Island Players: there are soooooo many messed up things about Sukka in this episode I have no idea how people aren’t more bothered by them. First of all: the episode features Sokka crying about Yue’s staged death scene, and Suki is shown amused, saying she had no idea Sokka had made out with the moon spirit. First of all: SOKKA DIDN’T TELL SUKI ABOUT YUE. Her initial reaction here is amusement, for some reason...? Yet as we already saw that there’s no real bad blood between her and Toph despite she, of all people, KNOWS Toph has a crush on the same guy she likes, there’s no real reason to think Suki would behave like a jealous fiend if she knew Sokka had a relationship with someone else before her. Yet Sokka doesn’t tell her about it: this implies he either doesn’t trust her, or doesn’t know her well enough to realize she WON’T be a jealous fiend, and outright assumes she will be one because of mistaken preconceptions about how relationships work.

At this point, Sokka and Suki have been officially together since Book 2, episode 12. Book 2 happens in spring. Book 3′s conclusion is at the end of summer. This means Sokka has had about four-five months of a relationship with Suki. Out of which, yes, she spent the majority of those months in prison :’D but then he rescued her! And... apparently proceeded not to tell her about his experiences while fighting in the war? To not share his biggest failure to protect someone he cared about? So... to NOT open up to Suki about anything that genuinely mattered?

Considering he’s willing to snap at Toph when she brings up the moon could be “mean”, considering he’s willing to tell Zuko that his first girlfriend turned into the moon when they’re only starting to trust each other... this unwillingness to tell Suki about Yue feels OFF. It doesn’t make any sense. His relationship with Yue was far from something to be ashamed of. It meant A LOT to him. Why the heck hide it from Suki, when all the reasons sound either condescending or distrustful as hell?

Ah. Because the writers thought this scene would be funny, that’s why.

And the funny scene gets even BETTER when Sokka shushes Suki and proceeds to cry about Yue’s death: he’s shutting her out. And hey... Suki doesn’t like this. She turns her face around and looks pretty irritated, whether by being shushed or by his unwillingness to share his past with her or BOTH THINGS...

... And then the show doesn’t acknowledge this OBVIOUS, SIZABLE, IMPORTANT shortcoming of their relationship ever again.

We’re supposed to assume Sokka explained everything later just because? Hell, he looks like he has absolutely no intentions of doing that. If you ask me, it even could feel like he thinks his relationship with Yue is none of Suki’s business? And that’s not pretty. That’s not good romance writing, no matter how you look at it.

This, of course, is not everything: there’s another two unpleasant situations in this episode alone! :’D

The second one is a slightly smaller one, but bears mentioning all the same: Aang is annoyed when the play makes a mockery of Zutara, so he gets up and leaves: Sokka tells him to bring him snacks. After his initial request, Sokka wraps an arm around Suki and they’re shown surprisingly cuddly now, DESPITE their previous impasse. At first, Suki smiles fondly at him. But then he turns around and asks Aang for more snacks. And then Suki outright looks ANNOYED, while Sokka looks like he doesn’t give a single crap.

This, I feel, ties in with what I mentioned earlier about how Sokka doesn’t even have to try with Suki: Suki isn’t merely a happy girl who thinks Sokka can do no wrong. She CAN be annoyed by him and his behavior, but for some reason, she chooses not to bring up her grievances with how he’s acting, even if it doesn’t sit well with her?

So while there’s supposed to be something so very cute with the monster blob sand statue, her approval doesn’t feel genuine to me. I simply can’t see it as genuine. Because when you feature Suki smiling in that strangely motherly way, saying the statue is “sweet” (instead of, I don’t know, saying she actually sees the artistic merit of it (if she did) or saying he just needs to put in a bit more work), she’s focusing exclusively on making SOKKA feel better about himself. And when Suki is annoyed? He doesn’t have to show remotely the same amount of consideration or compassion she displays for him. Why? Because she sweeps her feelings under the rug and lets him get away with everything he does, even things she’s not happy about. She lets him get away with keeping important secrets, lets him get away with annoying her in the middle of the play, AND...

... lets him get away with rubbing in Suki’s face that Azula kicked her ass :’)

Look, I’m not even being my biased shipper self here. The third unpleasant thing in Ember Island Players is that Suki decides to point out that Team Avatar keeps getting out of deadly pinches by sheer luck and that they lose a lot! She doesn’t say this with concern: she looks sardonic, like she’s legit mocking them. It’d feel completely out of place if she hadn’t been annoyed by Sokka earlier, so it feels (to me) like she’s just taunting him because she’s already not in the best of moods and expects to feel better by making fun of him. Not a terrible crime, but a rather strange one to commit too, considering she’s making fun of her boyfriend damn near dying all the time. You’d think, maybe, that kind of possibility should worry her a little more...?

... But then Sokka retaliates with: “You're one to talk, Suki. Didn't Azula take you captive? That's right, she did!”

Isn’t it goddamn WEIRD that Sokka would bring up what, according to a large amount of Suki’s fanbase, must have been a terribly scarring experience for Suki... just to win an argument with her? Just to piss her off because she’s making fun of him? They’re BOTH shown being remarkably inconsiderate towards each other and the struggles they faced in their respective journeys in this scene. It’s supposed to be lighthearted bickering, but the subject they’re choosing to talk about isn’t lighthearted AT ALL.

According to some Suki fans, Suki could have even been tortured, tormented in thousand ways, by Azula when she took her prisoner. There were whole posts going around about how heartwarming it was for Suki to still be waiting for Sokka, no matter what...!

And THIS is how Sokka reacted to Suki’s patient waiting for him? THIS? By telling her “lol loser Azula caught you anyhow so your argument’s invalid”? If Suki HAD gone through some serious torture, beyond getting stripped off her uniform, how on earth would it be healthy for Sokka to use this allegedly mentally scarring experience AGAINST HIS GIRLFRIEND?

Now then, it WOULD BE fucked up, but the truth is, Suki wasn’t tortured at all, so the whole delusional, tragic “Suki is so emotionally strong because she believed in the man who would come save her even in the darkest of moments!” is honestly nonsense in the end: a girl who was tortured, tormented and anguished by the memories of whatever she experienced in Azula’s hands wouldn’t have retorted to Sokka’s comment with an irritated: “Are you trying to get on my bad side?”

Yet again, Suki is annoyed.

They’re both annoyed by each other’s arguments. 

But their discussion ENDS at this point, and goes forgotten, again. 

Suki isn’t even a quality bickering source for Sokka, because as soon as Sokka rebuffs with a counterargument she doesn’t like, she turns things personal and takes offense. Where he may not have taken her initial taunt as a particular, personal attack, she does interpret his words that way.

AND THEN THEY PROCEED TO FORGET ABOUT THEIR ARGUMENT AND ITS IMPLICATIONS, YET AGAIN :’)

Now then... is all this so terrible? Am I making too big a deal out of small things that shouldn’t be inspected so closely, especially as they were likely written with humorous intent and nothing more? It’s entirely possible!

You see, I don’t exactly love the way romance is handled in ATLA because it’s frankly always flawed and faulty beyond belief. People often have said one of the three canon relationships is better than the others, but at this point I disagree altogether: they’re all written to be flawed and have huge gaps of logic in the behavior of the characters involved. The girls are always shown as prioritizing the boy above everything else ever, and the boys are too often shown leaving them behind, forgetting about their love interests alarmingly frequently, being outright FORCED by the plot to let go of their attachment to them, whereas there’s no such conflicts or situations with the girls, in the least! Implying that it’s fine for girls to be completely devoted to a relationship, to the point where their whole LIVES revolve around the boy they like, but the boy shouldn’t behave the same way and must learn to leave the girl behind or put her aside instead?

... The implicit sexism in this consistent writing element in ALL THREE CANON RELATIONSHIPS is honestly pretty disturbing. I don’t think I need to say much more about it, do I?

Now though, I will, however, point out that it’s relatively good for canon NOT to show Kataang, Maiko or Sukka as perfect relationships because it IS realistic. It’s not pretty, but it is realistic. These characters are children or teenagers who quite often didn’t even have good role models of romance in their parents or peers, let alone even slightly decent childhoods, so for them to be 100% healthy in terms of romance would have been utterly absurd. Therefore, these kids would be expected to make mistakes and then learn from them so their relationships improve over time.

Sokka and Suki’s relationship is flawed, which only lends MORE believability to it, because the characters aren’t warped to fit the narrative, to play them as unmistakably perfect, ideal partners for each other. But those flaws do lend for problems like the ones I pointed out above...

And you see, the ultimate problem is that these characters DON’T learn from those mistakes. They don’t. Mai and Zuko are shown making the exact same blunders in the show and the comics, hell, sometimes even worse ones in the comics. Sokka and Suki still act like they’re totally in love ONLY when they happen to be in the same place and even then? Suki outright ignores Azula’s zapping attack at Sokka in The Search! SHE’S IN THE SAME COURTYARD! But it’s the THREE BENDERS who come to Sokka’s “rescue”, despite he doesn’t even NEED rescuing, since the attack was goddamn meaningless anyhow. 

The point is, however, that Suki is right there, damn it, taking care of APPA. And she’d sooner look after the sky bison that than check on her boyfriend, who was just “attacked” by her WORST ENEMY, WITH WHOM SHE WANTED A REMATCH???

Seriously. What logic is this. What kind of ROMANCE is this. It doesn’t make any sense to me, and if I were a Sukka fan I’d be beyond outraged by watching my favorite relationship written so carelessly.

So, because Yang’s writing isn’t even ALLOWED to move anything too far forward, because Bryke don’t want that, none of these relationships have developed in any interesting ways after the show. AT BEST you could say Kataang definitely act differently in the comics than they did in the show, for better or for worse, so you can say there’s some changes in their dynamics, though those changes aren’t necessarily related to genuine character growth. But Maiko? Same old story. Sukka? Same old story.

What exactly does Sukka do for Sokka at this point? He has someone to make out with whenever they cross paths? Yeah, okay, cool. And? That’s it? For that matter, he could be making out with anyone else just the same. What kind of room for growth does she offer him? Going by how she doesn’t even need him around her, by how she has never needed anything but mediocrity from him, I can’t say there’s anything to be found. Their relationship already dealt with its biggest possible hurdle WHEN THEY FIRST MET. That’s the main growth Suki offered Sokka, and now she can’t give him anything else because he’s way too efficient and learned everything she could teach him right away :’) Paired with this, Suki wasn’t developed enough as a character either, so if she has other regards in which she can teach Sokka a thing or two, we simply don’t know it, and the comics refuse to show it to us too, so up to date, Suki is severely underdeveloped by canon and will continue to be, as far as I can tell.

Which, of course, factors in the next question: what does Sukka do for Suki? Honestly, nothing. If this relationship did something interesting for her character, we’d have tons of things to say and discuss about her, but the truth is all Suki-related discussion tends to have nothing to do with Sokka (her past and growth as a Kyoshi Warrior, her future post-canon, whatever the heck happened to her by LOK’s time... I’ve never seen anyone genuinely pondering anything about her relationship with Sokka beyond “did they stay together or not?!?!”). Suki is at her best when she’s with the Kyoshi Warriors, because it’s the only element of her character that DOESN’T revolve around Sokka. Going by the plot of the Shells comic, she could go travel the world teaching girls self-defense, and kicking the asses of sexist dudes! It’s not really going to deepen her character, sadly, because that’s basically ALL we know about her since the start of the show, aside from her attachment to Sokka. And she doesn’t need Sokka to do this. She could do it by herself just the same.

Literally, just for the sake of giving Suki something else to do, not even for my personal OTP’s sake, I’d gladly see Suki breaking up with Sokka so she can damn explore who she is beyond this relationship? The Kyoshi Warriors serving in the Fire Nation Palace was probably the first interesting development for Suki in canon since she first met Sokka, and even then her role there was never explored fully, let alone was her potentially red-herring budding relationship with Zuko. 

But who am I kidding? :’) not gonna happen. For all I know, they got married in canon and had a perfectly happy life together. A perfectly happy, mediocre life, where neither one has to make the slightest effort for the other, in the least. Taking each other for granted, every step of the way!

*sigh* I can’t want this for Sokka, seriously. I can’t. I love his character a lot, but I absolutely hate how he’s written in this relationship. Most my understanding of how Sokka behaves in a relationship has come from how he behaves with Yue, precisely because, as brief as their relationship was, he seriously appeared to value her above so many other things, to fight for her, to do anything he could to help her without asking for anything in return. And that’s why I write him as I do.

Love can feel different when you experience it with different people, of course, and I’m not asking for Sokka to be written exactly the same in two different relationships... but the difference is just way too vast. I don’t question he cares about Suki, but I do question that he genuinely loves her. This is NOT how someone in love behaves. And frankly, Suki’s behavior isn’t that of a girl in genuine love either. She likes him plenty, is impressed by the things he and his friends have achieved, but is it genuine love? How can it be, when they apparently can’t even trust each other about their personal experiences (Yue in Sokka’s case, spending months as a prisoner in Suki’s)? When his behavior rubs her the wrong way and annoys her when they’re at their most casual? When the bickering he’d likely enjoy having with a significant other just falters after two exchanges with Suki because she takes offense to what he said? 

In conclusion:

Writing: the writing of this relationship is frankly really, REALLY flawed, far more than most fans are willing to acknowledge (whether fans of the ship or of the show in general). They try to make jokes with this relationship, but these jokes end up highlighting serious flaws in this relationship that are never addressed. Also, their relationship is hardly ever treated as something majorly important for Sokka, who constantly privileges his bond with Yue over Suki, which is radically contrasted with Suki, who has no meaningful relationships in the show beyond Sokka. As I pointed out earlier, the writing proposes the boy doesn’t need to revolve around the girl, but the girl DOES revolve around the boy? Absolutely appalling.

Dynamics: beyond their exchanges on their very first episode, their dynamics don’t offer anything unique to their characters. You can replace Suki with any other female character, and Sokka’s struggle to let go of Yue and accept a new love interest in his life wouldn’t change in any considerable way. It didn’t HAVE to be Suki, let alone a Suki whose original personality (sassy, demanding, proud to the point of bordering on arrogant, prone to making mistakes because of this flaw...) was completely hijacked by a new one (perfectly nice, friendly, reasonable, considerate, flirty, not demanding in the least, virtually flawless...). There’s not much Sokka can teach the Book 2-onwards Suki, or much else Suki can teach Sokka. There’s not much they can learn together either, because the writing never offers them new challenges they haven’t handled before. Their dynamics exclusively hinge on Suki being reliable in action situations, weak humor centered around Sokka being a mediocre boyfriend, and making out. That’s all their relationship provides, and frankly, they BOTH can do better than that.

Potential: I don’t think Sukka has much more potential beyond what we already have seen. Their natural chemistry isn’t anything out of this world, it’s FINE, but it’s not exactly something extraordinary that can’t be found anywhere else. And that’s really at the crux of why I don’t ship it or find much enjoyment in it: neither Sokka nor Suki appear to be at their best in this relationship. Suki is outright worse off by this relationship because she went from feminist poster child to a girl who REVOLVES AROUND A BOY. Please, let’s let that sink in? There are better possible relationships for them, relationships that absolutely could explore aspects of BOTH characters that have gone underdeveloped and overshadowed in canon, just for the sake of weak humor and make-out sessions.

*sigh*

Fact is, most the problems with Sukka are a matter of poor writing. With better writing, the relationship could be good, and would be easier to take seriously. But even then? I wouldn’t ever expect this relationship to outshine other possible ships for both Sokka and Suki. If you feature another girl as Sokka’s big, rude “girls are fighters too” awakening... what’s left for Sukka? Speaking from experience, seeing as I outright wrote that: without this factor, their relationship wouldn’t be anything particularly noteworthy. Sokka would respect Suki right off the bat, sure, maybe surprise her a bit because of how unpredictable and unexpected he can be, but there’d be no genuine reason for them to seriously develop feelings for each other. That their entire bond hinges on their first encounter, rather than the growth of their relationship across time, is far from appealing for me in a relationship. I absolutely need more than that to ship something.

I’ve already brought up most these arguments in the past, as well as others I probably forgot to mention, but I can give you one more post to look at (if you want it), specifically about how a certain ship can be a vast improvement for Sokka over Sukka :’D This, I’d hope, will clarify what I mean when I say other ships can offer Sokka far more than Sukka does. I didn’t dig into it here, since I tried to focus exclusively on why I won’t ship this, but that might help expand your understanding of my reasons not to support it. And then there’s also the ship I support for Suki... here are my arguments on that topic too. Admittedly, I was more centered on Zuko in this second post, but I basically already gave you all the arguments why Suki in Sukka doesn’t work for me :’D and there’s a few arguments in there about why Zuko would be a far more interesting love interest for Suki than Sokka has been so far, too. So... that’s that. I hope I gave you plenty to think about :’D

[firebirdsdaughter]

Over Analysis ‘The Gawas will be the Death of Me’ Stage 2: The Ark Fight(s)

… What do to when home sick from work (I’m okay, I think I know what it is).

Do the other half of your Zero-One over analysis. Slowly.

So. Skipping over some stuff, where Aruto becomes president of Hiden again, and we have MBJR just… Mooning around, including a shot of Horobi’s hand that makes me think the camera crew is reading my conversations… Anyway. Jin chills in the tunnel for a bit until he seems to resolve something and gets up, while Raiden hangs out in the usual part of the base, and Naki and Horobi go for walks. While I disagree w/ certain choices made in this sequence, it’s interesting that Horobi’s apparently aimless wandering leads him to… A daycare centre.

There he is, the prettiest gargoyle ever. I mean, I have Feelings about things in this part… But this isn’t about that! This is about how Horobi stands around and stares at the kids and the two HumaGear playing w/ them. My theory, which has yet to be at all disproven by anything, remains that Horobi originally got ‘Ark’d bc in the past, maybe partially bc of Soreo’s data, he grew to want to create his own child and tried to build Jin pre-Ark, maybe not even that he wanted to raise Jin instead, but just wanted to raise Jin alongside the other children, but as a child, not programming him to serve a purpose for humans. But the humans around him reacted badly to the concept, and immediately tried to put a stop to it, and the Ark promptly preyed on a father’s desperation to protect his son. Going by that interpretation… Horobi’s trance-like state just… Staring at the two HumaGear having fun w/ the kids is heartbreaking. Is he only looking at his past? Or is he seeing something he and Jin should have had, that was taken from them.

To continue ignoring my Feelings, we have Horobi promptly attempting to erase the source (?) of his uncertainty in the only way he knows how at this point. Interesting that he’d end up targeting some random kids, but couldn’t follow through attacking Jin. More deflection/projection? He can’t attack his own son, but maybe if he ‘proves’ he can overcome his instincts here, he thinks he’ll find peace? But Horobi’s never been good at following through w/ attacking children, not even when they attack him first. Especially not when there’s a father on hand.

But before Horobi can even pull back the… Arrow? He’s getting hit w/ flashbacks. Jin looking dejected. Himself lowering his weapon rather than follow through w/ what the Ark would want. All while Aruto’s challenge about wanting to protect Jin rings in his head.

… And he can’t do it.

Also please note he lowers the bow before Jin shows up. I saw something that said ‘Horobi almost kills some kids before Jin stops him.’ And… No. Horobi stops himself. He may have trouble comprehending why, but he does. He finds himself thinking about his own son, and can’t follow through w/ it. He never even gets so far as pulling back the arrow (?).

Then Jin shows up.

Jin’s wobbly as he approaches and holds onto the… Thing. Like he’s still injured and limping. Instead of seeking out Raiden or Naki, who seemed much more open to the idea of leaving the Ark, he specifically goes after Horobi. And says something that makes me kind of wonder if Jin is actually falling into something parallel/perpendicular to what I think Horobi is doing next ep. Now that he seems to be shaken out of whatever had him thinking that That was a good plan, or necessary (I do have to admit, I like the concept of Jin, whether by manipulation or otherwise, having come to the conclusion that there was no way to save Horobi and that at best his father would always end up dying, and that the only thing he could do was try and save him from a more drawn out, painful death or some worse fate, but they would have needed to imply that earlier for it to really land), he kinda feels like he’s… Chasing what was taken from them? Like, I mentioned my theory earlier, and I haven’t thought much about the implications of if Jin knows or doesn’t know, but him trying to use that incident to prompt something in Horobi kinda feels like, along w/ his pleading looks before and the fact that he came after Horobi… Like he wants to try and reclaim the chance/right to be a family that got stolen from them. Like he wants to try again. Meanwhile, the impression I get from Horobi’s behaviour, as I see it, next week, is that Horobi has just accepted that they can never really recover that, and has decided the only thing he can do is make sure the future is better for Jin and other HumaGear, no matter the cost. I feel like that’d be a lovely, tragic angle to the whole thing.

Anyway.

… Horobi is, once again, bewildered by the concept of wanting something for himself? This is why I feel like, even if his motivations next week are what I hope, we may not hear it from him unless it’s a dying or emergency confession. Horobi has been conditioned for years, since he was created, to never think or want for himself, and my theory is that the first time he tried, he suffered for it. He’s been under the Ark’s control for so long that it’s… Easier. Less painful to just let the Ark be in charge. And gods know we see very clearly that the Ark will get aggressive when he doesn’t.

Horobi’s second emotional outburst, and it’s… Again about rejecting the concept of freedom and choosing for himself. On the one had, he can’t imagine doing that, on the other… He’s quite possibly traumatised by the concept.

No, wait, Ark, let him finish, I want to know what he thought he was doing. Additionally, this is the second time the Ark has apparently reacted to Horobi having an emotional reaction.

We get this little… Uncertain sort of lip bite before he turns to face the Ark. The Ark’s influence trying to squash the doubt/emotions that Jin prompts in him?

Oh, honey.

… Oh, typo.

Jin’s reacting to multiple things here, the Ark jumping in, and the fact that she’s announced she’s going to destroy HumaGear. I appreciate that we don’t get any ‘smug about being right’ or anything, and that he also seems to be upset about the fact that he was getting somewhere again, only for the Ark to jump back in. There’s also the fact that the Ark is using Horobi to say this, and Jin has shown he’s aware (in this ep, at least) that Horobi actually is doing this for HumaGear. To Horobi, this was always about HumaGear. Hearing those words out of his father’s mouth must be… Really jarring.

Anyway, the Ark promptly starts attacking.

Jin stays on the defensive the entire time during this fight, seems to just be trying to restrain Horobi, and doesn’t try to henshin once. This is Toku, the franchise that essentially invented the ‘transforming is a free action’ trope (okay, maybe that was technically magical girl anime), so if he really wanted to, he could. The Ark makes no move to transform, either—but that makes sense, we’ve seen her fight just fine untransformed, the whole magic grey goo thing. But if the ark remains untransformed and Jin transforms… Is he afraid he’d end up actually hurting Horobi? This is one of the things that convinces me that Jin really does understand what he did wrong and that he fucked up, and now he’s trying to make up for it/regrets it. He knows this is partially his fault, and it’s coming right on the heels of Horobi making something like progress bc Jin actually bothered trying. That’s gotta be another sucker punch, understanding that if he actually had bothered rather than… I don’t know, trying to take the easy way out? Then again… Looking at how his own death played out… Maybe he was taught by experience.

Anyway.

… I’m saying that a great deal in this one, aren’t I?

Anyway, the ark predictably gets the upper hand, sends Jin flying only to 

So. Let’s talk about Jin’s hands again.

Namely… I don’t think that’s how you get a foot off your chest.

In the previous stage/section, I was talking about Jin’s hand twitching upward when Horobi lowered the bow, and here… I guess, in theory, he could be trying to… Pry it off or something, but his hands aren’t going through the motions of that, they’re not really tense or straining to pull the foot upward. He’s just… Hanging on.

The Ark holds that position for an unnecessarily long time, just, staring down at Jin, like she’s trying to force him to face how much control she has over Horobi, and maybe take the time to enforce to Horobi that he’s merely her pawn.

… I’m absolutely sure that is not how you get a foot off your chest.

It’s hard to show w/ still images, but Jin’s motions do not seem like he’s trying to escape his situation. His hands aren’t gripping or pulling, they aren’t tense. He’s not squirming or yelling or anything. His behaviour feels less like ‘get off me, Ark!’ and more like… Well, more like he’s trying to reach out/hold onto Horobi, like he’s given up on ‘fighting’ and is just desperately hoping contact will do it. More like ‘it’s me, Horobi, look, please, it’s me.’ Like when a character is knocked unconscious and someone who cares about them rushes to their side and is grabbing and touching their shoulder, maybe their face, like ‘look at me, please look at me.’

At last, the Ark raises the katana w/ similar pointed slowness—it really, really feels like she’s trying to drag this out as much as possible.

There’s so much to this reaction. For one thing, I mean there’s a sword bearing down on him, so obviously he’d be frightened. But it’s also not just a sword, it’s his father holding it, his father who is possessed by a homicidal satellite that sees him as nothing more than a puppet, and he’s possessed bc Jin raised the bloody thing and planned to sacrifice him to kill it (would that even have worked, though? Or would the Ark have just jumped to another host?). What’s more, earlier, Horobi stopped and couldn’t follow through when Jin asked if killing him was what Horobi wanted, and we already know he remembers Horobi rushing to protect him. He’s at least reasonably sure about the fact that Horobi himself doesn’t want to hurt him, and at least some idea that he’s able to get through to Horobi is he tries (I don’t know if he actually knows he’s Horobi’s singularity Point… my gut says no). There’s not only the fear of death, but probably the sense that if this happens, it will be the final nail on the coffin of any chance Horobi had of breaking free of the Ark. It’ll be the end for both of them, honestly.

Despite Aruto yelling, the Ark brings the sword down, and, understandably, Jin looks away…

… Only to, very noticeably, you know, not die. So he looks back up and…

This look is already… So much emotion. But don’t y’all just wanna hear me talk about hands again? Right? Right?

Well, too bad. Bc Jin’s reaction kills me every time. Literally. I keep going back just to watch this moment. Bc when he looks back up and takes in what happened, w/out looking, w/out saying anything, completely instinctively…

… He reaches for Horobi.

This seems like… A whole combination of things. A kid reaching for his father for comfort, but also at the same time… Like he’s trying to comfort Horobi, reach out to him. Bc he knows this has to be Horobi. The Ark wants to kill him double, has announced she’s going to destroy HumaGear. She wouldn’t stop. But Horobi would. Horobi’s instinct was to protect him before, he couldn’t kill him even when he had the chance, couldn’t kill the kids. Someone else pointed out that, normally, given the chance, someone would be frantically getting away from someone who tired to stab them, but Jin’s reaction is to reach for his father, despite the whole ‘possessed and holding a sword over his head’ thing. Again, not ‘get off me’ but more like ‘it’s you, it’s okay, I’m here, it’s going to be okay, you can do it.’

The camera pulls back to show a scene that is very clearly from a different take (but, I mean, why would you not use the one where Jin reaches out like that?), then closes in on Horobi again. The Ark is clearly struggling—I like the way it sounds like she’s putting all her effort into trying to push the sword down, but Horobi refuses to budge.

Then the flashbacks start. Bits of Horobi’s memory while his own voice echoes behind them.

The first one is obvious—the first time he moved completely w/out the Ark’s command, possibly the first action that was totally of his own volition in over a decade. Which was, notably, and action that is the complete opposite of what the Ark is now trying to force him to do.

The Ark reacts like she’s getting a headache, clearly baffled by Horobi having any resistance to her will.

Then we get interesting.

ForceRisering Jin. Notably, Horobi’s initial flashback was to the time he reacted on his own, as if he’s finally realising what he truly wants, to protect Jin… But then he flashes back to this moment, which was… The time he did the opposite, according to the will of the Ark. We know, via Project Thouser, that Horobi was extra manipulated into this by Gai via Naki suggesting it would benefit ‘their’ (read: the Ark’s, none of this was ever Horobi or Naki’s plan, though it was half Gai’s) plans. So he goes from a moment where he acted like the father he wants to be (that was a signal of him nearing singularity, that wanting to be Jin’s father is his dream) to a time when the Ark’s influence caused him to be the opposite. For me, this is really fuel for my theory about Horobi’s behaviour next ep—that he believes that he and Jin can never get back what was taken from them by the Ark and therefore humans, and that the only thing he can do is try to make a safer, better future for his son, no matter the cost, even if he dies in the attempt. This also makes my other theory all the more heartbreaking, that Horobi originally got into this to protect Jin, and then the Ark’s control warped and twisted him, and now he’s starting to remember himself and seeing that and ends up convincing himself he can’t go back.

But. Anyway (again).

The next one is from the hospital arc. This was the incident where we first heard Horobi’s ‘we are not the slaves of humanity’ sentiment, and also the first time he and Jin henshined together. He’s thinking back to the times when his son was w/ him, when he believed they were fighting for freedom for their kind. I’m not entirely sure about any implications regarding this scene following the other one, other than chronology. Is Horobi regretting having involved Jin in the fighting? Is he veering between things that he regrets and things he doesn’t? Guilt and remorse for hurting his son, but also the fact that he enjoyed being w/ Jin and fighting together w/ him? Given that he doesn’t seem to be involving Jin in his actions next ep, perhaps, while he cherishes this memory for certain aspects, he may also conclude that he needs to keep Jin out of things for his safety. Perhaps he sees involving Jin in the fight as a failure on his part, too.

Next is the moment when he confronted Aruto for Ikazuchi’s data… Which lead to him kidnapping Midori, encountering the father and son, and the exchange on the bridge, and his first choice in over a decade. I’m not as sure about what I think this one might be about, but like I said, it did lead to the conversation w/ Midori, and more questions about what he really wants, brought up his relationship w/ Jin  (and then belittled it). Is he thinking about everything that lead to this? Thinking about wanting to reunite his family? About what was sacrificed to raise the Ark? Or does this have to do w/ Jin’s admittedly plan?

The last memory is of the moment when Jin was making graves for Ansatsu-chan and Ikazuchi. On the one hand, we have HumaGear who died for the Ark’s plan, and Horobi was directed to not care, but Jin was also highly effected by those deaths, and Horobi snapped at him for grieving for them. Additionally, Jin expressed a desire to get revenge on the humans responsible for their deaths. Horobi may also be carrying something like resentment and a desire for revenge on the humans who were ultimately responsible for everything he and Jin went through, everything the Ark caused him to put Jin through. And they’ve been through a lot.

But first…

MY MAN.

I feel like it’s significant that Horobi starts this question facing away (but this post is already so picture heavy), kinda hunched and looking down—the way the scene cuts makes it comes across as Horobi just being ‘transported’ into the Ark’s space like how Aruto and Izu do into Zea’s, while the Ark stands a distance behind him, back turned. It really does give the impression of Horobi being forced to watch while the Ark just casually uses his body w/out even really ‘looking.’ Horobi is the one the situation is in front of, while the Ark is indifferently facing away. Horobi turns toward the Ark to ask why, probably his first question in twelve years. And it’s bc of Jin. Not only is the Ark trying to force him to destroy HumaGear, she wants him to start w/ the one person who means the most to him. The one person Horobi himself doesn’t want to hurt.

The Ark… Doesn’t take it well.

Horobi gets swarmed by the floating words, and it sounds painful, enough that he’s brought to his knees. One question, just asking why, in twelve years, and he gets this. And he’s just asking why. The Ark doesn’t even bother faking a reason, just responds by torturing him, trying to force him back into compliance. W/ a method that has perhaps worked before.

Except this time, Jin’s life is actually on the line.

I love the way he brings his hand up to his face. I don’t know why, I just do. Anyway, Horobi fights through the pain, his hand curling into a fist.

… And…

THAT’S MY MAN.

Hey, that setup looks familiar, I think we’re just missing a sunset (come at me w/ comparing Horobi to Gai now, you… Jerk faces!).

You know what, I think I’m gonna break this into parts to prevent anymore mishaps.

Please hold.

[sofia-gothicquirks]

One Piece Wano Kuni analysis : How Oda brings small humanity touches in the plot of an epic/adventure story

So far the Wano arc has been truly fantastic. All the characters of this arc are deep and have wonderful backstories and personalities. Besides, the world building is amazing and I do feel like I am in the middle of a revolution. I am feeling oppressed by the political system of this country and I really do feel attached to all these innocent people who have to suffer because of Orochi's madness. Unlike most stories I do understand the reason why there's a revolution going on behind the scenes. Through these long chapters where you can see children being taught propaganda about how great the shogun is in the Flower Capital while people from Ebisu's town are forced to smile despite their hardships I slowly learned to care about an imaginary country that I didn't even know a year ago. That's one of Oda's strenghts. Contrary to some arcs this isn't just about "saving those who asked for help". All these characters have an actual true and personnal reason to fight linked to their backstories or personnalities : Luffy's promise to O-Tama the little girl his dead big brother swore to protect, Zoro's desire to avenge Tonoyasu, Hiyori's hate for the man who ruined her life twenty years ago .....

Actually for me this country and these characters have truly gained life. Discovering new things about the fascinating japanese culture through an arc from my favourite manga is a dream.

But Wano Kuni isn't just about worldbuiding. It's also about action. There's a revolution going on. There's this prophecy from Oden's mysterious wife. It's almost mythical. There are people who want to fight against this injustice. There are those who must keep living to give food to their starving kids but on the other side there are also people who didn't even know what the word "pain" is. In chapter 931 if I remember well Orochi said that the Wano country is like a paradise. There are all these geishas to bring happiness and music, banquets, cherryblossoms... But we, as readers, know what's going on. We know that this is just a bunch of lies. As Luffy stated in chapter 949 this country is a living hell. And if they don't fight, if they don't change the situation, these people are going to keep suffering. THAT'S WHY A REVOLUTION IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Otherwise nothing will change. The rich will become richer and the poor will become even more poor. Twenty fucking years of a dictatorship is like a lifetime for some people can you imagine that ?

So let's talk about this revolution. The epic perfect plan to overthrown the shogun (that Luffy kinda of fucked up no surprise there), the badass preparation for the final battle, Wano Kuni's background (the story of Hiyougoru, Tonoyasu's past...) and all this plot about keeping identities a secret or having a double identity (Komurasaki the courtesan as princess Hiyori, O-Toko as Ushimitsu (even if this last one is just a theory for now)...) is great. In fact these diversity of intrigues in just one arc is great. ( to name a few of them we have the Komurasaki-Kiyoshiro plot, Udon's prison plot, Zorro's lost sword plot....).

What I really enjoy about Oda's writing style is that he doesn't only shows the bright side of the revolution with all the epic battles and perfect strategy but also the darkest sides of being a renegade. There may be traitors among your allies, you may get captured and tortured, the ennemy is ready to do everything in order to get information from you and you may even die. There will be disagreements about what to do even inside the rebel alliance because not everyone will trust each other and every person is different : everyone has different beliefs and fears. Maybe the plan won't work and the revolution will fail (you can feel the characters insecurities in chapter 938 during the Law-Shinobu disagreement). Furthermore the revolution won't wok without some great sacrifices. Speaking about that...

Please can we take a moment to mourn Tonoyasu's death ? This man deserves some respect please pay tribute to him. He had a loving daughter and people he cared about and yet with just his life he changed everything. Without him the revolution would be truly doomed. At the moment when everything was going down for the rebel alliance he saved them. His public execution was the turning point and until now (we are in chapter 951) we didn't even know the full consequences of his death. This death really impacted me. How could a man sacrifice his own life to save a future he would never be able to see? Such a little yet great and bold move from Oda. ONE LIFE. ONE SACRIFICE. And yet it changed everything. The rebels have a new plan. A new hope. The revolution can keep going.

Respect Shimotsuki Yasuie.

>RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN THE CHARACTERS

And now dear friends we have reached the point where the title of my analysis finally makes some sense lol. Let's talk about human relationships inside this arc and name just a few of them.

-Tsuru and Kinemon, the lost lovers

-Luffy and O-Tama or how Ace lives in his little brother

-The nine red scabbards friendship

-The interactions between the members of the strawhat crew

-Hiyori and Zoro growing relationship (or should I call it "the new ship of the One Piece fandom"?). I hope they turn to lovers. They have a really good chemestry.♡

-Hyogoro and Luffy, the master and the student

-O-Tama and Momonosuke friendship

-Komurasaki and Kiyoshiro hidden secrets

-Killer and Eustass Kidd, the partners

-Luffy's and Kidd's rivality

-Kawamatsu and Hiyori story

So we have romantic, friendly, and familiar relationships inside just one arc. It's intense. This is going to be huge.

I could analyse all the relationships between the characters of this arc but I want to especially talk about the one who impacted me the most. It's going to surprise you.

I want to talk about Nico Robin and O-Toko. The pannel from chapter 951 hit my heart really hard :

You guys remember Robin's backstory right ? The daughter of a criminal who survive a genocide and was chased for years by the government because she was the "devil child". Robin lost her mother at an early age and I think that this is the reason that she kind of become a motherly figure. She has developed strong mother instincts.

Well when you think about it Toko's story is a little similar to Robin. She is chased by an entire country despite being a child mostly because her father was a criminal and she "disrespected" the shogun. But like Robin did in that fateful day in Ohara she laughed at it (well she is kind of obliged because of the SMILES fruit too...).

Robin loved the girl from the beginning: she saw her as a bright kid with a great sense of humor and she saved her during the Orochi banquet. So I think that when she saw that this little girl was being hunted down just like her years ago she swore to give her comfort and love. This hugging scene between O-Toko and Robin warmed my heart. They are just like a mother and a daughter and I think that the two of them really needed each other.

Do you see my point ? Even in a story full of action, with plans, battles and a revolution going on Oda manages to keep writing little heartfelt scenes like this one that allows the readers to not forget that more than just being fighters people must praise their humanity. These little touches of humanity add much more than you can even imagine in an action story like One Piece because they allow us to care about the persons for whom our protagonists are fighting.

What about you guys ? What are your thoughts about the Wano Kuni arc so far ? I would love to discuss with you about that !